#don't even get me started on adhd

[cherrieguroo]

you ever just hear about some mental thing and go "oh i relate to that a lot lol" and then it haunts you for the rest of your life because the more you hear about it the more it feels like you've felt that before but you can't just assume you have it so instead you just keep it in the back of your mind

[edgy-senju]

Being an autistic/ADHD adult is sooo fun cause if you ask to have some of your needs met and you're not diagnosed, then you're clearly just being selfish and childish™

But if you're diagnosed then you're going to be treated like a little kid with no bodily and mental autonomy, so of course you can't have your needs met anyway

[lightningidle]

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

[ratcandy]

I NEED TO GET DIAGNOSED! (violent explosion sounds and terrified screaming follows shortly after my proclamation of suffering

[elisemochi]

Thinking about that one post I saw in passing way before I made this account that like was a confession blog and the confession was like

"I think Illuminata isn't romanceable because she falls in love with Amber"

or something like that and like the only comment was somebody saying like "ew, how dare you make me look at this"

Anyway I think Illuminata/Amber would be pretty cute

[choking-on-roses]

My goal was to grade 10 papers today. I really really reeeeaaaallyyyyy didn't want to and had to fight tooth and nail through the executive dysfunction. I clawed my way through at a pace of one essay per hour. I hated it, but I did it!

It's not even the fact that I reached my goal that made me happy (it was arbitrary). It's the fact that I'm even capable of getting through difficult things I don't want to do at all. I have been working on my self-discipline and focus for years and I'm very proud of myself for how far I've come.

[sillyfreakx5]

i might have just started to solve my Ethical Crisis II. because like... it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter if i know what's ethically correct right now. I'm not influencing anyone else to do whatever, i just want to fucking experience this. I'm gonna do all of [thing] regardless of if i extensively think about the ethics of it, worsening my mental health in the process. so why just... NOT try to figure out the right answer?

i don't need to have all the answers right now. i just need to live.

[dootznbootz]

I'm technically most likely demiromantic (definitely demisexual) which is technically on the aro spectrum but I'm sooooo romance favorable that it almost doesn't feel like it counts????

I'm a huge romantic sap but I'm kind of funky with crushes. I have them and I get them but I'm very particular and I almost have... control over them???

Like when I start to feel the feelings™, I then start looking at a possible relationship through "logic lens".

"Compatible here, there, there too. Okay, we're not with that though, and I will not move on that so therefore it will not work. Alright, cool! Best friend! Best friend! Best friend!"

I can just shut off the feelings™ once I get the feeling it's not gonna work, especially if it's on something I will not change. If I have a feeling there's potential, I let feelings "grow".

[dirtytransmasc]

autism/adhd is fighting yourself so you don't listen to a song on loop until anything that even vaguely reminds you of said song makes you want to puke and or rip your hair out.

[deoidesign]

.

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

[autumnoakes]

me, who started uni thinking i was entirely neurotypical and able-bodied but just lazy: i'm a failure for how long it's taking me to finish this degree. i'm a failure for being unable to get a job while i do so, much less handle it while i study. i don't deserve to take a semester off, i need to be doing something. i need to be able to support myself somehow. i'm failing at life

random voice in my head: you're not even 25 yet. most of your classmates are the same age as you. you can only handle so much and the threshold is much lower for you than for an able-bodied and -minded person. everyone deserves a break and should be able to take one without consequence and it's a shame that you don't feel you deserve it. the milestones you're worried about aren't real and even the one deadline you're worried about is 4 years in the future and your advisor told you not to worry about it anyways. deep breaths. it'll be alright.

[dokjaism]

everyday im like i need to learn how to draw and then i just don't start

[snazum]

me trying to stroll thru the ted nivison tag on tumblr for some sick art X READER, IMAGINE, OTHER THINGS I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF EVEN THO IT'S QUITE LITERATLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME XDD

[fennthetalkingdog]

It's so awkward to tell people about my majors lol, like:

Other People: "So what are you majoring in?"

Me: "Soooo I'm double majoring technically..."

Other People: :O

Me: "...and double minoring."

Other People: "Oh my gosh you must be really smart!!"

Me: "Ummm, kinda? I mean technically?"

Other People: 🤨

Me: "I mean, I'm really book smart! But like, if you're talking about overall smarts, I think it averages out."

Other People: "You can't be that bad-"

Me: "I regularly forget to eat."

Other People: 😐

Me: 😐

Other People: "Sooooo..." (finds another topic)

[bonefall]

I just..like the Snowbird anon wrote in the lawyer Mapleshade thing: just because Moth Flight couldn't handle raising her kits and doing her duty doesn't mean the others would be the same. I agree (can't believe im agreeing with Snowbird anon) that her losing her cool and yelling at Acorn Fur definitely had repercussions. I wouldn't doubt it led to Goose and Blue thinking Blue couldn't be deputy if she kept her kits. Moth Flight just sucks. I hate how she treats Leafpool, too. She's just an awful person who really shouldn't have been put in power and make laws regarding important positions while being that young. She was only like, what 8 months when she had her kits? Like she was young and dumb.

What I hate most about Moth Flight is that it isn't even true that she wasn't able to raise her kits.

All through her SE, she refuses help because she thinks "Only I can love them properly! My children are SPECIAL!" and extends this almost venomous spite towards other women around her. Then, after showing Moth Flight being unreasonable all book long, we get the completely insulting moment where StarClan and Moth Flight condescend Acorn Fur for like 5 pages

And then we got to see her mistreat Leafpool in that absolutely bullshit StarClan trial, "I made that rule so that you'd never suffer the pain I did! AND YOU BROKE IT YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE WENCH! YOU WILL SUFFER FOR BREAKING MY RULE!! HELL FOR YOU!!!"

Sincerely! What the fuck! The RULE ITSELF causes suffering in giving up kits and going through harrowing trials, when the suffering that Moth Flight wouldn't have had to go through in the first place if she wasn't such a nasty little git!

And the scene where she gives away her children really sums up everything about Moth Flight and her SE that makes me absolutely detest her;

She's giving up her kits, and it's traumatic for these poor children being separated. They rightfully start screaming and crying in protest (if you've seen the Moonkitti video, this is what she mentions), shooting down her complete lie that this is how it 'has' to be, and then? Right after? It's suddenly fine lmao.

She even looks at Spider Paw, the kid who almost drowned, and says, "and you're going to RiverClan :) theyll teach you to swim there :)" AND HE'S FINE WITH THIS. HE'S LIKE "water scary" "No It's Fine :)" "Ok mom i guess so :)"

ZERO BRAIN CELLS. MYOTRAGUS LEVEL WRITING.