#the lump ? who is she
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I like how whenever I make a post abt criticising the LU fandom / a sect of the LU fandom someone of y'all are SO ready to derail and dilute the issue into either "Jojo bad" or "Oh I don't like this fandom because [entirely separate unrelated issue]". When it's something as serious as queerphobia I wish you idiots wouldn't
#fires posts#ramblings#I don't fucking care if u hate Jojo but she is NOT a part who I'm talking about and you know it#If you seriously think it's appropriate to lump her in with ppl openly spewing hate speech u need your priorities checked
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She heard me doing things so she came up to the side of her baby bin and blelelelele'd at me until I noticed her. She greets me every morning where we spend the first hour of every day together, her just resting in my hand and me holding her, often gently petting her head and tiny scales. If there is a heaven, that first hour we spend together is it.
She is getting a larger enclosure for her birthday in a month and a half. :D Hopefully I can get it done in time, as I haven't sculpted a custom enclosure before and will be trying some new artistic critiques. I do have experience sculpting though. My biggest worry is the paints and sealing them properly! Art I can do- but food safe art that will be in a moist bioactive enclosure is new for me.
#From her enclosure camera#hognose#hognose snake#snake#pets#She is getting a bigger enclosure soon it is preordered and we need to wait#She greets me like this every morning#She ate yesterday and should be in a food coma!#You can even see her lump#So I gave her pets and told her I love her#From inside her enclosure the photo of her being held is from yesterday#She really enjoys pets#Especially after a big meal#I need to get a video of her asking for pets#She will pet herself with her chin#And when I stop sometimes she will pet herself with her chin asking for more!#And then I will pet her and she will relax looking like she is in heaven#Those posts saying “snakes cannot enjoy being pet and will only learn to tolerate it” are absolute BS outdated information#from people who are insecure that they are less valid as humans if animals are capable of feeling love and asking for affection#My snake will LITERALLY ASK TO BE PET#And she will pet me too!#I think she saw me petting her#Thought “This feels nice. Is this what we do for each other?”#And when we are snuggling she'll wiggle over to my arm or shoulder and start petting me. She doesn't pet me in any other places.#It is a lot of effort as she has no hands and has to use her chin#moving her whole upper body#So she'll only pet me maybe 20-10 times and take a rest#Does anyone else's snake pet them?#It is unusual but I think maybe she learned it from copying me and it makes her happy ^_^#What a wonderful world we live in where snakes enjoy being pet
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I NEED TO GET DIAGNOSED! (violent explosion sounds and terrified screaming follows shortly after my proclamation of suffering
#this is in reference to multiple things. honestly. physical and mental#the lump ? who is she#the possibly undiagnosed adhd that my therapist rec'd i get tested for and my mom already has and is also pushing me to get tested for?#don't know her. who is that.#don't even get me STARTED on the OTHER thing my therapist + a separate counselor + mom said I need to get checked for. that. can wait 👍#we don't need to unpack that one. right now. :)#i mean every time it was brought up it was followed by ''but we don't need to get into that if you don't want to'' and you're so right#bestie I don't want to get into that. I came here to get told i have an anxiety disorder and get meds and instead what you hit me with#was thAT!!!!!!#GET ME OUT OF HERE.#clamtalk
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Look at how much she's improved :>
This is shadow kid, and as she'll very proudly tell you, she is seven years old!
#doodle#doodles#oc#digital art#ghost#sort of#she's lumped in with my other ghosts#but she's based on the shadow man that people report seeing during sleep paralysis#tall guy with hat?#no#little girl who takes your hat's shadow so she can have one too
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if kab wanted a clown replacement hannah is perfectly capable of (and would possibly be even happy with) fulfilling that role idk why she seems to be going after zam who she didnt even have positive rapport with before the yap yesterday
#mine.txt#kab#and pedestaling him is crazy#hes always been open about the fact that his oath is based on his own principles and that hes fine with ppl fighting each other#even the ones who fight for no reason as long as it isnt at spawn#like theres a reason he didnt give a shit about the blindfold alliance's crimes and even allied with them#before they turned into griefers#and why he was a non-interfering party in both revenge killings and out of spawn killings#even when he clarified his reasons to kab he specified that hed defend innocent players who were killed for no reason#kab is neither an innocent player nor was she killed for no reason#like bruh she killed derap right after; zams not gonna enact revenge for her cause shes clearly capable of doing so#like shes not helpless and deraps not like mane in the slightest; kab is Not helpless in this situation#like girl his priorities have always been different from the rest of the server#thats not about to change just cause you think it should#idk if this is a new member vs old member belief clash or what#cause like i feel like its obvious zam wouldnt interfere with a kind of spat thats perfectly normal on the server#esp since it didnt happen in spawn#like if they were teammates sure but they arent teammates#idk why she thought they were teammates before but regardless zam cleared up the fact that they werent teammates#cause like maybe shes like pbaj last season where she just hasnt internalized the fact that for lifesteal to be functional#there has to be conflict and killings and that sometimes that conflict comes from long standing grudges#like i hate to say it but if youre teamed with someone at the time of the grudge happening youre gonna be lumped in with that grudge#also by her own logic isnt hannah killing derap unfair too since he was an indirect reason why their team was killed#and that hannah shouldve gone after mane instead?#(who has been tormenting not just her but the whole mice team for a certain span of time before the others went inactive btw)#maybe zam should say that by innocent players he means helpless ones maybe thatll get her off his back
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I do not care for the Subway Masters.
#cookie.txt#i'm so sorry to all my mutuals who love them... i do not care for them unfortunately#also i get very irritated with them taking up like 99% of elesa's tag#a character who i like a LOT more and personally find a lot more compelling#has she ever even interacted w/ them or do people just lump them all together only because they're all in nimbasa city
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Page Five of When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith, Ph.D. that I bought at a thrift store.
I am using the cut-up technique and going page by page.
#dave.txt#she speaks#poetry#self help books#When I Say No I Feel Guilty#Cut-up technique#coping#depression#This is about being discharged from the mental hospital when we were 14 and returning to school#And not being able to heal because we were too embarrassed to open up to our friends about the reality of our mental state#We were too busy thinking about how we must be overreacting.#Silently trying to piece ourselves together like a puzzle because we're afraid of using the wrong words and getting called fake#And for years we doubted our transness because we couldn't.. Tell if we were faking it for attention. Bc that's what it always feels like#It all feels so fake because every detail about ourselves feels like a grab for attention.#Just thinking about being depressed felt like we were making a mockery out of ppl who were actually depressed and suicidal#I'm sorry for being so emotional about this piece. For trauma dumping. I'm also sorry if you're reading this. And sorry that I was scared.#I am okay I'm just really tired. Tired of being sick. Being sick makes me cry. I feel so useless. Like a lump.#I am curling up in embarrassment#dear diary#vent
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There's nothing wrong with people having their dearest most specialest blorbo be Eric ztd it is unironically good for the ecosystem and I always love seeing the different perspectives from other fans but what I am here today to ask is why is no one like that about Mira. whatever happened to feminism.
#every categorically insane man in this series has their dedicated fans and every popular character also has a bunch of red flags so like#to be fair no one's too crazy about Lotus or Alice either hm like people either outright dislike them conceptually because of their designs#or you know just have an appreciation for them as characters but not quite focusing on them much at all#like me#and like are the tropes that make up her character problematic? yeah! that didn't stop y'all from liking Saito a whole lot#now he's better woven into the narrative of the game he's in but then my point's back to Eric lol#like it is just fucking ludicrous the amount of stuff in the whole Series not to mention the game Alone that she's responsible for#but it does feel disconnected (being responsible for the Kurashiki's parents deaths)#frustrating (being responsible for injecting Phi whith Rad-6)#and overall just kinda glossed over? (beheading Junpei and killing off D-Team that one time because she was in cahoots with Zero)#so like I get why people wouldn't like her she's a bad plot device but THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING#THAT'S NOT REALLY STOPPING ANYONE and it's not even like people are very vocal about hating her either#at most I've seen it be lumped in with some major complains about the game like as a whole#the way we find out so early she's a serial killer it's kinda shocking but not really? it ends up as just kinda ridiculous and underwhelming#imo that's the whole game but again even when it comes to people who Do Like this game#anyways free to reblog I Do wanna talk about this but I am absolutely Not putting this in the tag lmao could you imagine#like is the trope of having one big booba female character per game and for it to be a Defining Characteristic kinda not great? yeah#but also like shrug#we've let Uchikosh get away with worse
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Sorry, I just don't think we are hating on Svetlana enough.
#shes vile#like i understand she has shitty circumstances but she is such a selfish and self serving character.#she doesn't seem to give a shit who she hurts along the way as long as she gets what she wants#shes funny and beautiful and a fun and interesting character to watch#but i just dont think she should be lumped in with karen and/or mandy when talking about over villianized characters#so 🤷♀️#shameless
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I feel like the Grammy’s should have a breakthrough artist category to separate from the artists that have been around for a bit and broke through and the artists that are actually new to the industry.
#like Victoria Monet is not a new artist she just had a breakthrough year#there are certainly artists that are new and should get recognized and there are also artists who broke through#and they should be recognized too!#it just feels misleading/annoying that they lump breakthrough artists into the new artist category because most times they’re not ‘new’
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Since I'm not posting about what I'm working on (I will not give into feeling like I'm working by solely talking about it. Also if I post about it and then never finish it that would be beyond cringe. Also it sucks right now) instead I'm posting various procrastination OC doodles from over the past year. Admire my funny little guys ^^^
#my OCs#my art#<BARELY#these arent procrastination doodles from this project btw theyre from various other drawings#the first two are Basil and third is my child Lump who has every disease (June)#Junes soooo pathetic and sad all the time always. can we get this octopus some fucking anxiety meds please.#shes also so bnuuy coded. bigass ears + her tentacles/hair bow not shown here look like bunny ears#shes so. prey animal#its fine. Basil balances out her extreme anxiety by forcing her out of the house to be social#and June balances out Basil by actually cleaning their apartment and doing the dishes.#(Basil would do them too but June actually likes doing them. She likes feeling productive!)#the squits
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eight and liv but they enable eachother’s murderous tendancies instead of their actual dynamic
#eighth doctor#liv chenka#eight and liv but eight is the same eight who would have killed davros gladly if they were the only victims in terror firma#eight and liv but eight takes more traits from caerdroia’s the nasty one#eight and liv but eight resembles the eight who was like ‘give me the code and i shant break your arm’#gets the code and whomps the guy’s head against a wall in vanishing point#eight and liv but eights character actually makes sense to be like that after de1#im sorry but eight is rarely an optimist. he is however a hopeful realist#‘despair accords with reality but i insist on hope’ and such#he KNOWS the universe is full of evil but#his hope never stops him from doing horrible things. like killing the clock faced people in anachrophobia#in de1 he is faced with his despair after the death of lucie in the face of ww1 and the daleks and the fake reality made to please him#and when he thought molly had died when she fell. he still had hope. he still climbed back up. but he was still ready to jump back down#with the risk of death#he was going to go to the end of the universe to look for hope. he hurt the tardis and himself for it.#thats all good. thats sexy. but why after all that is he so horribly an optimist#why does he believe that the eleven can change after he's been like that since his second incarnation. lumps of rock evolving into flowers#the only nice incarnation of his being the eight but he was like that since he was born and he was obviously struggling#why does he treat dickbag landlord from better watch out like he has any empathy in him before hes literally dragged to hell#anyway. bitchier eight and bitchier liv i think theyd be great together#actually. the amount of bitch liv is is great already
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love this teacher dearly but babe the reason i haven’t done the discussion post is because it wasn’t due yet….
#i think i’m just offended that she’s disappointed in me when like ive done the work!!! i’ve done the reading!!! i wasn’t one of the people#who literally didn’t get the book please give me some leeway to get it done on my time within the due date#she’s my favorite prof so i don’t want her to be disappointed in me lol#don’t lump me in with the people who don’t careeeee i love this class#jules.txt
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I wanna work on stuff but my computer is UPDATING ARGH GRRRRR
#vent post#also v stressed... my dog is ill and needs to see a vet but everyone is closed so i have to call monday#not v ill as in loss of bodily function but i found some lumps on her and she's lethargic :(#who knows how much this will cost
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#not the most important of rants#but as a nonbinary trans person#i kind of hate how much JKR and Harry Potter have become the face of “transphobia”#honestly so much of the hp hate feels so performative#without actually doing anything meaningful to fight everyday transphobia anywhere#and i extra hate how it lumps together every trans person under this banner of#'you are hurting *me* personally if you still like jkr or hp'#even though i as a trans person would much rather focus on how the main themes of hp#are all in direct contradiction to jkr's modern stance on trans rights#since they are messages all about inclusion and acceptance and not judging people just because they were born different than you#and came late to 'your' culture#or the fact that when jkr first wrote hp#she herself was a struggling single mother living on welfare#and how maaaybe there could be a conversation in there#about how wealth and power can corrupt people#and how fundamentally decent people can grow in negative ways#not just in positive ways#if you let yourself forget how it feels to be 'the little guy'#(or if you get too focused on *staying* 'the little guy' when you maybe are not anymore)#(or not the littest guy in a given conversation)#instead of the performative#'you cannot like hp or interact with it at all in any public way OR ELSE'#that has actually happened#i am trans#i hate who jkr has become#but i still love harry potter and what it meant to me in my childhood#and i refuse to let other people take that away for objectively nonsensical reasons#that are never applied consistently across the board to other authors
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been thinking a lot about womanhood lately
#like. i don't exactly identify as being a woman. in contrast i do have a strong nonbinary/muunsukupuolinen identity#yet i do feel and acknowledge that in most contexts i AM a woman#not only because that's what most of the world sees me as but that's also consecuently how i move through the world#there is no one set way for women to experoence the world but i do feel like my experience is one of those. because i am gendered as a woman#it used to make me uncomfortable and dysphoric and i'm not saying that now it never does#but i have made my peace with it? like. i feel like i have “let womanhood in” as a part of my identity#and i have also realized that it's not actually being seen as a woman that makes me uncomfortable but being seen SOLELY as a woman#like my friends calling me a woman or my partner calling me their girlfriend doesnt sting usually#because i know they also see the other parts of my gender identity#but when a coworker refers to me with she/her or includes me in “ladies” it stings. because i know that's all they see#like YES i can be a woman. if you acknowledge that i am a bit of a weird woman.#i can be a woman if you acknowledge that i am a gnc woman. a bisexual woman. a queer woman. a woman who is sometimes bit of a man.#if you see and acknowledge that we can talk#however i am NOT a nonbinary woman. i am nonbinary AND a woman. which to some people is the same thing#but to me it's an important distinction. being nonbinary and being a woman are both parts of my gender identity but in very different ways#and very distinctively. lumping them together as equal parts of my identity as i feel the term “nonbinary woman” does doesn't describe me#i am enthusiastically nonbinary. i am begrudgingly a woman. i'm a woman with a long footnote explanation. woman¹#“nonbinary woman” also doesnt feel like it accommodates the way i relate to manhood or boyhood. but that's a whole another tedtalk#i'm not a man but i like how it looks. and i'm not a man i'm just borrowing parts of it for genderfuckery reasons#idk how to explain it in english...#in finnish i would say that en oo mies mut joskus lainaan tai iahn vaa ihailen asioita mieheyden kuvastosta.#but because in social situations and In Our Society That We Live In you mostly can just choose one gender and it's either man or a woman#thennout of those i would rather be a woman. legally. with strangers. you know. not a woman but kind of yes because i relate to other women#if i could be seen only as nonbinary i would. but then again my nonbinaryness does encompass some parts of both womanhood and manhood.#so i guess people would have trouble seeing it as “only nonbinsry”#idk man. it's complicated and also changes emphasis multiple times a year#ask me again a month from now and the gender landscape will be interpreted completely differently#gender#nowe talks
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