#don't drive angry

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[ratcandy]

words cannot describe how happy i am that heket remains lamb's #1 hater in the entire world even after her cleansing

[steamclouds]

I wonder if Larian realises what irreversible damage they've done to the dnd community by introducing the terms "lolth-sworn" and "seldarine" for drow

[tomwambsgans]

tom's expressions as he stares up at greg in the safe room in 2x4

[keydekyie]

Well I feel sometimes like a little child lost in the woods in the fading light 🎵

[wishfulsketching]

Some doodles I made of the finale of dndads, very random. Also lets all agree Ron is standing on a very tall rock :)

I keep drawing the omega daddies but that’s because I stumbled upon a theme song for them so now every time I hear it, I end up doodling them.

[hellomagicalsouls]

do you think we'll get any in prison footage of ben? im dying to know what his crime was and how long he's been in there.

im thinking injury related crime? mayhaps. probably not murder? but definitely injury. bodily harm?

end of season 3 ben would start a fight in an empty room so god help him around people who don't care that he's part of the sparrow academy because it doesn't exist anymore. AND HE HAS NO POWERS? no tenties to help out.

he didnt adjust well let's be real, he looks unpleasant

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the high prices of fucking Everything is so exhausting i stg

[aceofwands]

idk man I just think of all the franchises you could try to make the Next Big Thing by creating a bunch of new shows and movies, maybe don't pick the one with the notoriously nitpicky obsessed with canon fandom ?? if you don't plan on applying any sort of consistency to the world, characters, alien cultures, entire ethical and moral framework of the universe, etc etc ????

[kashilascorner]

Kiroranke, babe, they can never make me hate you... Yes some of the things he did are very hard to justify like lying to Asirpa and ok listen I can understand assassinating the czar but killing Wilk over a disagreement? Now that is a bit extreme, my pal! But it's ok. I love him still

[demodraws0606]

Every person with a bad q!BBH opinion now is getting blocked, it's on sight /hj

[grusinskayas]

for the 100th time. if you dislike silents so much. maybe you shouldn't watch them. or at least not write and publish paragraphs long reviews stating how much you dislike them.

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[paleinc]

work and health vent and i'll take external validation because i keep talking myself out of it and missed my therapy appointment last week (overslept and missed it for the first time lol)

i'm agonizing over wanting a month off of work for fmla/stress leave when my coworker just had 3 months of short term disability and is on a part time schedule upon returning

i get so scared and tell myself i don't matter, and that i'll get yelled at for saying i need to look after my health over productivity (in a 2-person dev team bc uhh whoever budgeted this team did badly. everyone agrees that going from 8 to 1 dev(s) was a bad fucking choice but. contracts!) but i'm making small mistakes and need my body to just. stop. feeling so stressed out.

and ugh last session my therapist said, "well HE got accomodations, so they should be accomodating you too."

my behavior is so depressing. i'm in a shitty stressful spot and made progress in therapy, but therapy can't fix a shitty work situation. i need to stop beating myself up over it and move on. but i keep beating myself up for WANTING time off bc i've been in freeze mode for months. i sound crazy, but wanting a break from work and this problem coworker feels like trying to leave my abusive home life, except my wife and her mom aren't there to physically remove me from the situation. i feel small and like i don't matter, and no one wants me to rest or heal -- they just want me around to make their lives easier.

my deputy PM isn't my mom, he's probably just venting when complaining about said coworker (we're hiring someone else for him to train and manager's hinted at wanting me to train her partially bc problem employee is a problem). my knee-jerk reaction is to fix that problem. but i can't. he's been a problem employee for 2 years now and i'm getting judged for my lack of developmemt work (i'm also in meetings and handle many other smaller non-dev tasks). also HE'S the manager. i'm happy to give him insight on the project, but i don't want to manage people and do his job for him. he can leave if he doesn't want to deal with problem employee too.

also problem employee's wife (works at the same company) just got a juicy promotion. so i'm feeling pretty fucking resentful. that makes up for him being part time now, huh.

anyway, tomorrow i have a meeting w a manager who's supposed to look out for me (and he's been very receptive to my complaints), so i'll be able to exprees this shit to him tomorrow. this is what i get for struggling to communicate with people -- abruptly maybe taking leave.

then again, whatever, coworker didn't give much notice either.

[girlivealwaysbean]

people being nice and kind to me is so upsetting actually like please don't i do not know how to give you anything back

[vonkarma2]

they should make gender flipped the thing

nothing to add to this but they absolutely should. and i can never watch the thing now because the whole time i'll be thinking about how this isn't the case 😔 i hope you're happy