#don't @ me it's magic. they can understand through magic.

[olderthannetfic]

As someone who wants to write their first long romance fic, I looked up “romancing the beat” and… is that it?? Is that really how people write romances? Is that fine? I just write 2-3k for each of the 20 or so steps, and sprinkle in some jokes and some smut and at the end of the “giving up” stage some angst too and it’s done?? I am shook.

I read more fanfic romance than published romance and I was dimly aware that romance is pretty formulaic (especially published stuff) but I didn’t know the formula was so… detailed? Fill-in-the-blanks shaped even?

I've written all those things before (smut fluff and angest) although only in oneshots, so that skill is not new to me. But do I really just put Blorbo and Blorbecita in this 20-step formula and get a long fic out of it? That people will read? It can’t be that simple, can it?

(Please don’t tell me romancing the beat is satire. I'll die of embarrassment if it turns out to be satire. Please don’t be satire)

--

I find most of those plot structure books laughable though not satire.

I haven't read Romancing the Beat in years, but I remember it being more or less sound. The issue is that all books in this genre are taking something that good writers understand instinctively and making it a canned formula for those who don't.

This is an excellent way to structure your revisions when you have a draft but something isn't quite working. It's often a good way to analyze someone else's story that you already like and think works. It's a much less good way to write in the first place.

It might work for you, but trying to figure out which bit of your proposed plotline goes in this or that formal category in three act structure or Romancing the Beat's structure or whatever is often difficult and pointless.

How To Structure Your Novel and/or How to Actually Finish A Draft are very popular and lucrative genres of nonfiction writing. Tons of people want to write long things but keep failing to. They will spend plenty of money on products that purport to be the magic bullet that will get them there. That doesn't make the book bad, but just... you know... keep that context in mind.

In my experience, all of the books of this type sound decent and can probably help you grind through a long thing with somewhat less likelihood of giving up, but I usually look at my outline that I instinctively know works and at the canned formula I'm supposed to awkwardly shoehorn my outline into and decide it's more trouble than it's worth.

And no, I don't think that youtube video on the four types of writers is accurate either. These formal structures don't suck because I'm the instinctive type instead of whatever the other one was. They suck because they're simplistic lenses applied after the fact rather than a truly accurate description of why plots in fun books work. To make the structure, they've had to flatten and ignore on the same level as Joseph "the sexist, racist hack" Campbell's hero's journey does.

[maxknightley]

Now you've got me thinking... Do you think that the things which are associated with Normieness are, like, a reflection *of* the nature of that numinous Normieness, or is is just the nature of Normieness to latch onto the things which already have that sort of exposure/cultural cachet regardless of their actual content? Or is it like the chicken and the egg?

I think it's a bit of both, but definitely more the latter...

there is Normie Shit created and marketed specifically for mass appeal, and that typically means sanding down the edges. on the other hand, mass culture as it actually exists can and does latch onto weird shit sometimes! it's my understanding that twin peaks was Fucking Huge when it was first airing, for example. and while the beatles started out as a talented but lyrically unremarkable proto-boy band, they maintained a vast popular following even after they pivoted to stranger and more experimental shit... stephen king is one of the most successful authors Ever and he's constantly writing self-indulgent metafiction where nobody talks like a human being. arguably his most successful stuff is the most "conceptually approachable" but idk I feel like the Steve-ness probably still comes through u know. in all these cases, momentum probably made a big difference.

actually fuck all those examples. star wars. the original trilogy is fuckin bizarre if you really think about it. A New Hope is a movie about magical space samurai, directed by an auteur who can't write dialogue to save his life & whose only prior feature films were a dystopian flick no one gave a shit about & a non-fantastical coming-of-age film. then the sequel added a fucked up little gnome muppet. and they were both Huge!

also alice in wonderland. it's a story about 1. a bunch of crazy crap happening and 2. some math jokes or whatever. now one of the most famous children's books ever. also the office, which is now the Ultimate Symbol of Normieness, had a very unique framing device at the time. anyway the post ends here bc I don't know if any of this is anything but you get what I'm driving at.

[loosesodamarble]

can you answer for Finral because it's his birthday

Sorry for the delay on the response to your ask, Anon. I was having an off day yesterday! But here's the answers now!

Favorite thing about them: He's a softie through and through. He genuinely can't bring himself to hurt others which is why his magic never develops any attacking spells.

Least favorite thing about them: Canonically, he had to have gone by the name Finral Vaude at some point, and it doesn't sound right to me. Thank goodness he had his mom's family name to fall back on.

Favorite line: From chapter 127 when Finral and Langris battled during the Royal Knight exam, Finral's internal monologue goes as follows:

That's right! Langris's magic power is enormous! But this is... This nauseating magic is... ... Who are you...?!

Finral clocks that something is wrong with Langris and connects it back to the Eye of the Midnight Sun! Observant king! Finral's intelligence doesn't really get a highlight in the series but to have him be able to sense it alongside Asta and Julius (who we already understand to be highly perceptive people) shows how aware he can be.

brOTP: Finral & Yami. The (seemingly) lazy boss and his high-strung subordinate is a fun dynamic that they get to have.

OTP: Finral x Finesse, or RalEsse as I call it. I do have my little FinNacht ship but it's still under RalEsse for me because two pure sweethearts like Finral and Finesse so so so deserve each other!

nOTP: I don't really have one? I only really hear Finral x Yami, Finral Finesse, and Finral x Vanessa consistently and they're all good.

Random headcanon: Finral is weirdly good with puzzle toys like Rubix Cubes and mechanical puzzles. Not pro level but, problem solving with things that visual and tactile is one thing Finral can consistently do better/quicker than most people.

Unpopular opinion: Finral's "curse" of always flirting with random girls is okay to have him struggle with. Him seeking attention from girls like that was his way of coping and looking for validation when he didn't receive it form his parents. He's falling back onto an old habit and it's kinda okay that he doesn't fix it right away. Just saying.

Song I associate with them: I suppose "Go the Distance" from Disney's Hercules works well for Finral. Feeling out of place in the family he was born to and seeking a place where he can actually belong and be appreciated are sentiments that the song expresses and Finral feels.

Favorite picture of them: I like this image of Finral after having to battle Langris/Ratry. He's injured and exhausted but he (and his brother) are having a moment of rest. And while unconscious, the way their hands are linked as show of their mutual desire for a brotherly bond is just... It's sweet.

[neyafromfrance95]

expanding a bit on my points:

honestly, we still haven't seen the whole "i perceive the dark lord... and he gropes ever to see me" relationship. i don't think that gal can just see into sauron's mind the way she does in the 3rd age yet. and while we saw sauron being delusional yearner, we haven't seen him actively try to see into gal's mind.

if they are doing a push-pull dynamic of the light/dark, then i want to see it extreme. give me sauron covet galadriel like she is his one ring and give me galadriel doing suicide-baiting parkour trying to avoid his possessive hands while trying to stab him.

"mistress of magic" arc. it is said that galadriel's powers are so strong that others don't understand it. it's theorized that it might have smtng to do with nenya + her being melian's apprentice. but trop!gal doesn't have magic powers yet, so why will replace melian as gal's maia teacher? will it be gandalf? could it even be sauron through the mind-palace shenanigans? or will she be self-taught? i still really like the theory i saw after the ending that gal will derive the powers from the shadow realm.

what are top 3 things u want from trop the most?

for me, it's:

galadriel x sauron mind-bond expanded and explored

galadriel x sauron's push-pull dynamic being extreme

galadriel having powers and being powerful

[shorthaltsjester]

Imogen Temult, Exaltant Hope of the Red Storm

Heroes and Monsters by Penny & Sparrow // Critical Role Campaign 3

[redjennies]

some Fallout New Vegas headcanons re: ED-E's beeping.

Veronica regularly talks to ED-E like she talks to Rex, but she can't understand either of them outside of happy/sad/angry beeping/barking.

Raul, like the Courier, can (mostly) understand ED-E's beeping, but if you asked him about it, he'd play dumb and get real smartass about it and pretend he was talking to ED-E like he sometimes talks to Rex.

Arcade cannot understand ED-E's beeping and he knows eyebots aren't supposed to communicate outside of simple confirmatory/negatory beeps and playing related recordings so he's convinced the Courier is just pretending to understand ED-E, but he also can't say how he knows this and it's killing him.

Boone cannot understand ED-E's beeping beyond simple positive/negative beeps, but somehow, against all odds, he can fully understand Rex's barking.

[greenerteacups]

What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭

So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.

With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.

Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.

But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier

[aflawedfashion]

I don't think some wot book fans understand that I just wouldn't be interested in the show if it did a lot of the things they want. No value judgement (everyone likes different things), but some book fans want to change how show fans perceive the show. They want us to perceive it exactly as they do, and that's just not how it would work for me. I either just wouldn't be watching the show or I'd be wishing it explored the aes sedai and their warders more because that's the kind of thing I'm interested in. You can't make everyone think the same way you do.

[quietlyblooms]

It has been happening more often than she'd like to admit; That strange state of mind which had lead to multiple blackouts, bloody noses & bite marks embedded within the back of her hand. And she feels it creeping up once again, though, she isn't alone this time. She isn't alone & it fills her with nerves. Sat next to her friend, drumming a lone pencil against her thigh as her gaze flickers from the ground to Chiyo almost frantically. In a matter of seconds, it seemed like all color was drained from her eyes; Irises a charcoal black, glossed over like a predator staring at another with the intent to hunt. "Chi . . . yo . . . " Hoarse voice rolled off her tongue, half-whispered as the pen fell from her hand with a low thud. Without another moment passing, the brunette was in front of the other; Hands gripping the blonde's thighs as she leaned closer & closer. It hurt, It hurt, It hurt. Her teeth were aching; It felt like something inside of her was burning, craving this. "Hah . . . " With a heavy exhale would glossy lips part, sharpened canines glinting; Head sinking to the crook of her neck, the tips of her teeth piercing soft skin of her shoulder but there was restraint. It hurt. It hurt so much. She needed to release this but . . . this was her friend. "Chi . . . Chi . . . yo." Please stop me.

unprompted | @goldcnpeaks bites chiyo and it's totally chill <3

her skin prickled just moments before jovie called her name. it was like something in the air shifted, and she realized just what that was when she met her friend's eyes. the blonde went still as a statue, much like animal in the woods when a twig snapped; much like a cat solely focused upon her prey with pupils blown wide, jovie stared back. chiyo felt her undead heart skip a beat.

" chi . . . yo . . . "

the witch was upon her before she could reply, fingers digging into jean-clad thighs. " jovie? are you okay? " chiyo asked as she grasped her shoulders, not pushing the brunette but leaning her own body away in an attempt to create a little distance. it made no difference. closer and closer she grew, revealing pointed teeth and showing no sign of stopping, and while apprehension crawled along her spine, chiyo did not feel fear.

jovie could not hurt her, not truly, not in a way that couldn't be forgiven. chiyo would not try to escape her friend, would not struggle against her. as jovie's head fell against her neck, the vampire would embrace her instead, one arm loosely curled around her back and one hand cradling the back of her head. she stiffened as jovie's teeth dug into her skin but relaxed soon enough, shushing the brunette like one might a scared child.

" it's alright, " chiyo softly uttered. " you can bite me. i'll be fine, jovie. "

she didn't understand what was happening to her friend, what sort of drive this was -- hunger? bloodlust? but she understood how scary it could be to feel powerless when such a thing demanded to be sated. she understood what a difference it made to be embraced, to be accepted despite the monster lurking beneath her skin. she understood that she would do anything for jovie, would let her take a chunk right out of her shoulder if that's what she needed. chiyo would not let go. not until jovie was okay.

" i know you're afraid of hurting me, but don't be. i've bitten you plenty of times. " her smile shined through her voice, light as air and warm as the sun. chiyo gripped jovie a little tighter. " let me return the favor. "

[cat-with-a-keyboard]

we've all seen elbiotipo complaining about generic bandits and all of that but one think i have seen few people talk about is generic goblins. generic falmer even.

These are people, people who build their own villages and homes in the cracks they have been driven into. They have culture, language and stories. Even if the 'magic mushroom brain degeneration' theory about the Falmer holds up they are still People. They build homes, make weapons and armor, befriend Chaurus even. Goblins are, as far as I know, one of the original inhabitants of Cyrodiil, displaced by the Ayleids and then the Alessians, and there is nothing that can hide that they are intelligent beings and not simple monsters to kill and ignore.

[anaalnathrakhs]

"people love you uwu people care about you" okay? not my problem. love me less. can we work out a reasonable level of care where it's obviously not cool if horrible things happen to me, a human being, and you won't do any horrible thing to me, but you don't feel obligated to fuss over anything out of the ordinary i do and i have to shut up about it and perform Normal Human Emotions lest i commit an awful social faux pas and hurt your feelings?

[as-rare-as-trees]

Repost of a Wang Yibo in watercolor I did in 2020 taking ispiration from my favourite photoshoot of his

[heartful-cake]

thinking of peach's inexplicable power to generate or find 1-up mushrooms in mario galaxy. like how much energy does that take? is this even usually possible for an inhabitant within the mushroom world? like mario and co. generate 1-up mushrooms by doing enough trick shots and comboing enemies, but i don't think peach usually is surrounded by enemies when she's captured, which means she has to generate them herself right? unless she keeps finding them on bowser's airships or wherever she's being held? is this an extension of her white magic? it definitely fits with her personality and other skill sets, but i'm just so curious how her sending mario 1-up mushrooms logically works out...

[salemwasnteverhere]

How the Hashira men react to your neighbor asking you to be quiet

Characters: Tengen, Sanemi, Rengoku, Obanai, Gyomei, Giyuu,

Additional shit: Swearing, Sanemi fighting said neighbor, Rengoku being blunt, mentions of sex, ooc mot likely :p

Tengen

He couldn't care less

His whole thing is being flashy and loud so he wants you to be loud

Like it's not his fault that dick is magical

After he shoos your neighbor away he makes sure to be as loud as possible that night

He's pounding into your cunt and you swear your gonna break when he whispers "okay now scream exactly how big my dick is. Don't forget the tip color-"

He gets cut off by you hitting him with the pillow

Way to ruin the mood

But that doesn't stop him and instead he goes harder, making sure the bed creaks loud ASF for your neighbor

"Not my fault he doesn't know how to please a woman." Is his main reason for doing so

He really wants you to scream his name so it's imbedded in your neighbors head

"Morning N/N!" Him to your neighbor from the balcony while your trying to get out of bed and failing

"Actually die." Both you and your neighbor to Tengen

Sanemi

Cares alot

Why the fuck is that limp dick biscuit talking to you and him? Who does he think he is?

You were the one who broke the news to him thankfully cause if Sanemi was the one who opened the door then you'd have to see your husband through glass in a prison

Just kidding. The Slayer corp would get him out of trouble if he didn't do it himself.

Anyways

Sanemi made it his goal to piss your neighbor off as much as possible

Your under him, practically creaming on his cock, and he's slamming the wall yelling "This loud enough yet?! Huh!?"

Not kidding I can see him doing that

He quite literally had you against a window where your neighbors could see him destroying you just to make them mad or uncomfortable, hopefully both.

But then he'd get pissed someone else would see you all naked and fucked out so he settled for the wall next to the window

One day your neighbor, finally having enough, bangs on your door yelling and guess who opens it...Sanemi!!

Good Lord was he waiting for this

It took one punch and the guy was out

Kinda what happens when you put a normal dude against a guy who kills demons for a living

Rengoku

He's a good neutral between caring and not caring

Like he doesn't wanna make your neighbors mad but he also loves hearing your screams

So he tries to keep you quiet during sex but fails since he gets to into it to give a fuck

The next days his loud ass voice wakes you up

"IM SORRY FOR MAKING INCREDIBLE LOVE TO MY WIFE!" He's not being sarcastic thats his genuine apology

Your facepalming and you want to die when you see your neighbor and she can't look at you

"PERHAPS SHES MAD BECAUSE HER HUSBAND CANNOT PLEASE HER!" Rengoku says casually and you know she can hear you from outside in her garden

"Inside voices!" You place your hands over his mouth to try and shut him up.

It works for a bit before he's yelling again

You love your husband but holy shit you wish he would speak normally sometimes

He's actually quiet in bed though

So your the problem (real)

Obanai

I'm not an Obanai fan so forgive me for how bad his section will be

Obanai is a quiet mf, and you're not even that loud

It's your neighbor who was the problem

A little old man whose hearing aids apparently had the power of 67 suns

You and Obanai found this out when he was outside training and your neighbor came over

He was so sweet and polite and even chuckled at Obanai's redness

Obanai cared at first but got over it

You? You make sure to not make a PEEP in bed

Okay that pisses Obanai off but he understands your reasons

At least make a gasp or sum cause he's over here like "Wait does this feel good? Can she feel it? Did I forget where the clit is?"

Brother is STRESSING

Then you cum and he's like "ah"

Then he's like "Did you take it?"

You have to keep yourself from murdering him cause how tf would you fake squirting

Gyomei

Babe I'm not gonna lie, you're a screamer

Gyomei is built like a house and your telling me your just gonna whine and whimper?

NO

Your over here crying and screaming into his chest, neck, the pillow, anything.

And Gyomei loves it!

He can't see your reactions so hearing and feeling them let's him know he's doing good

Gyomei isn't loud but he's not quiet

He'll grunt and moan and praise you, but he's not gonna cry out.

Well he'll cry but you can never tell from what

When the pussy so good you start crying 😭🙏

When your neighbor politely asked you to be a tad bit quieter Gyomei actually laughed

Not in a 'nah we'll keep being loud' way but more of a 'sorry we'll be quiet' way. He also found it hilarious how you actually died of embarrassment.

Don't worry he thinks its endearing

Yet it was kinda hard for him since he enjoyed hearing you

But your touches and now quieter moans made that better

And then there's also you literally drawing blood from his back you were scratching so hard

Giyuu

Holy shit you have never seen him so embarrassed

Like you could shade match his Haori to him and get the exact same color

He was the one your neighbor told and he stopped working when 'loud' and 'moaning' left their lips

If a demon doesn't kill him then his own actions will

Giyuu isn't loud, and he loves that he can make you feel so good that your loud for him.

But he didn't want your neighbor back over at your house so he tried to keep you quiet

You were super confused when he held his hand over your mouth in bed and he just pointed to your neighbors house. Then you got it.

So you nod and try to keep quiet.

You know in school when the teacher tells you and a friend to shut up but they look at you funny and you break?

Yeah that was you

You were riding Giyuu one night and you were loud so he was like "holy shit I love you but please- I can't look our neighbor in the eyes anymore."

And you couldn't help but laugh

Like howling

You calmed down obviously but sex was very giggle filled after that

You've never seen Giyuu so panicked

But give him a week and he'll stop caring

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Danny Is A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

(not in a necessarily bad way and it's by Clockwork's design)

Bats, or Constantine, or the JL, or whoever you want to be close to Danny in this prompt, don't notice it right away. It takes them a while to figure out its not purely coincidence. And even after they do figure it out, they still have their doubts.

The thing is, it doesn't work all the time. It also doesn't seem to have a system or a schedule to it, nor is it any kind of a superpower, as far as they can understand. By God, does Danny have way too many superpowers, but most of them are consistent, and yet this one... is weird. Weirder than anything they've seen before, and they've seen a lot, okay.

It also only works if Danny does it without thinking.

"You know what'd be perfect right now? A cheese sandwich," Danny says over the comms, in the middle of the fight with Dr. Freeze, "A warm, grilled cheese sandwich just out of the toas- Owch, what?" There's a pause. And then, "Guys, you're not gonna believe it, a cheese sandwich just smacked me in the face! I think someone threw it out of the window or something!" Danny sounds bewildered, but excited, and there's a sound of chewing from his comm now. At least he is eating, so that's good.

"I fucking hate robots," he grumbles the other day, punching his way through the Brainiac invasion in Metropolis, with no comm and only for the Supes to overhear, "No, correction, I hate only evil robots. The ones that interrupt my astronomy class. The ones that shoot motherfucking lasers and walk like crabs, and ruin a perfect day, and- I wish- aw, fuck, no, that's bad wording. Don't wish for shit. But if all these robots would just suddenly, miraculously malfunction and stop attacking me and the whole city, that would be, like, real nice of them."

A few minutes later, something goes wrong with the Brainiac's control over the army of robots, and all of them just stop moving and fall down at once. It is deemed as a chance, a lucky shot, a coincidence. Supes keeps quiet over what he heard Danny say.

"Oh, you bitch-ass fruitloop, you know what I want?" Danny yells at Plasmius, as the ghost is laughing like a madman, "I want a fucking brick to fall down right on your head, like, right now! Maybe that can set your brains straight for at least five minutes!" And even before he is finished talking, there's something falling down from the sky and hitting Plasmius's head. It's not a brick, to be exact, it's Miss Martian's shoe, though. She has no idea how it even came undone and fell from her foot. But it did somehow knock Plasmius out cold, so there's that.

It doesn't happen all the time. Red Robin does the math - the improbable accidents only happen in about 26% of the situations, given that Danny says something. It's by no means a reliable power. It also doesn't happen only during the fights: there were numerous times when Danny just said something like 'I wonder if the cafeteria serves garlic bread today' and sure enough, there's garlic bread there. Even if it was not on the menu. Ever.

They try to question Danny himself, but he has no idea. He doesn't even notice the coincidences most of the times - which is not surprising, knowing that they only happen in one out of four situations and Danny is known to have a short attention span. So, after a few unsuccessful investigations and failed attempts at calculating how this even works, they all give up. It has never jinxed anything, as far as they know, so everyone just leaves it be.

Danny is just magically lucky like that.

Meanwhile, Clockwork is having a good laugh about it. Danny's suggestions amuse him, and it's funny to watch the other superheroes having a mental breakdown over it, so he rigs the timeline from time to time. Just a little.