#don’t wait for something serious to start therapy
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tim-hoe-wan · 2 years ago
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It’s nice that some of you think I’m mature and knowledgeable enough to give you serious advice or give a psychological explanation. But I say this with love, please go see a therapist instead of a tumblr blog who has not even hit quarter life.
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smileysuh · 1 year ago
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ghostie
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🌙 staring. Johnny x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. As one am rolls around, you start to realize that maybe tonight you won’t get a call. He is a frat boy, and this is Halloween weekend.  You’re disappointed as you get into bed, frowning as you scroll on your phone, hoping that if you wait another five minutes, maybe he’ll catch you. Five minutes turns into ten, turns into fifteen, and you find your eyes beginning to shut. You’re starting to understand how much you truly have come to depend on Ghostie as part of your nightly ritual. It hurts not to get a call from your favourite voice-modulated anonymous frat boy.
tw/cw. yandere/stalker subthemes, unknown caller, weed use, multiple reader orgasms, big dick!Johnny, oral, pussy eating, blowjob, deep throating, spit as lube, fingering, hand riding, dacryphilia, praise, dirty talk, cum/fullness kink, unprotected sex, heavy grinding, dick bulge, creampie, rough groping, slight restraint, size kink, submissive reader, subspace, dumbification, hair pulling, finger sucking, etc… I pet names: (hers) Tiny, good girl, pretty girl. (his) Ghostie.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 15k
🍭 aus. uni/frat au, yandere subthemes, Halloween, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. this might just be the best John fic I've ever written, or maybe I just need therapy
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Sunday 
You pause your movie when your phone rings and you look down at the screen. The number is unknown, and you briefly consider not even answering it. However, you’ve had two job interviews in the past week, and you don’t want to miss any opportunities, so with a sigh, you bring your phone to your ear.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Tiny, how’s your night going?”
Definitely not a prospective employer. Your sorority gave you the name Tiny during first year, something to do with the ‘tiny’ shots you always want to take, and only those within the Greek system use it on you. On top of the Greek-specific term of endearment, the man on the other end of the line is using a voice modulator of some sort, and it makes it impossible for you to identify him.
Your curiosity is sparked. 
“Who is this?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
You sigh, leaning back against your bed and setting your laptop to the side. “I get that Scream is having a comeback, but this whole ‘calling a girl and being mysterious’ thing won’t get you laid anytime soon.”
“Are you sure about that?” You can hear a hint of laughter in the man’s voice.
“If you’re not going to tell me who you are, I’ll hang up.”
“We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” There’s a pause then, “Let’s just say, a mutual friend gave me your number. They thought we’d hit it off.”
“Whoever this ungendered mutual friend is, I doubt they expected you to call me with a voice modulator and act out a Ghost Face fantasy. I get that Halloween is a week away, but come on… you can’t be serious about this.” 
“I am serious. Come on Tiny, live a little.” 
“You’re awfully sure of yourself, aren’t you, Mister Ghost Face.” 
“I’ve got good reason to be, trust me on that.”
You let out a deep sigh, going through your roster of men who might think this sort of thing would be funny. “Yunho? Is this you getting high again?” 
“Wrong frat, but good guess. I didn’t know Alpha Tappa Zeta’s star quarterback was a stoner, thanks for the info, Tiny.” 
“Shit,” you mutter to yourself. You hadn’t meant to throw Yunho under the bus like that.
“It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone about his… habits. That would be hypocritical of me.”
You search your mind for the stoners you know. Ones who would have the balls to call you like this. 
“Do you want to take another guess? I’ll give you three chances. You have two more.”
Aside from ATZ, you spend a lot of time with Sigma Veta Tau. Soonyoung is a well-known blunt roller in the fraternity system, but he wouldn’t do a charade like this. He’s very open about hitting on you any time you’re at one of his parties. 
“Jeonghan?” you ask.
“Last guess, Tiny.” 
He doesn’t confirm or deny if you’ve gotten the frat right, but you can’t really see any other SVT members who would fit this mysterious man’s profile. 
Your mind wanders to Nu Chi Theta. They’ve got quite a few weed lovers there, and you’ve been invited into many closed-room smoke sessions with the dirty NCT boys. 
There’s Yuta, and he’d definitely have the gall to entertain a flirtation like this. However, you don’t know of any mutual friends who would ever set you up with him. With another sigh of irritation, you throw out the last name on your shortlist of stoner acquaintances. 
“Hyuck? Please tell me this isn’t you.”
“Close but no cigar.” 
“I don’t like this game.”
“You’re not supposed to like it, but it is entertaining, don’t you think?”
“What’s your angle with all of this?” you question. “If you’re not going to tell me who you are, then what’s the point of calling?”
The line is silent for a few moments. “I guess… I just wanted to talk to you a little, is that so bad?”
Your heart softens, if only momentarily. “Then grow some balls and ask me out like a real man.”
“Where would be the fun in that?” The mystery man lets out a short chuckle, and your irritation only grows. 
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re really annoying?”
“A few times actually.”
“Well, you’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met and I haven’t even met you.”
“Yes, you have.”
“God, I’m tired of this. Goodnight.” 
You don’t even wait for an answer, you simply hang up.
Despite trying to get back to your movie, you can’t get the mystery man out of your head. When you go to bed you can’t even sleep, your mind completely full of all the possibilities of who your caller could have been. 
You’ll have to do some digging tomorrow. You can’t not figure out who this guy is- and you know just the fratboy to give you all the details you could need.
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Monday
Mark Lee is always fifteen minutes early, even when it comes to an 8am class. You feel like shit after tossing and turning all night, so when you slide into the seat next to him in the back of the class, he gives you a once over and his lips part in shock.
“Are you okay?”
“No, Mark, I’m not okay,” you snap, regretting it a moment later- after all, Mark’s not the one doing this to you. “Someone called me from an unknown number last night. A frat guy, I’m not sure who. He was using this voice modulator-”
“That sounds hella sketchy.”
“Super sketchy,” you agree. 
“I know it’s October and everything, but that’s a weird way to hit on a girl.”
“That’s what I said!” Mark always understands you. “He said a mutual friend gave him my number, thought we’d be cute together or something- whoever it was, I need to strangle them.”
“Is this friend a girl or a guy?”
“Mystery man wouldn’t tell me,” you groan.
“So… this dude could be literally anyone.”
“Not Yunho from Alpha Tappa Zeta, Jeonghan from Sigma Veta Tau, and not your roommate Hyuck. The guy gave me three guesses,” you explain, “the hint is that he’s a stoner.”  
“Lots of frat guys are stoners.”
“Exactly,” you sigh, leaning back in your seat. 
“What are you going to do if he calls you again?” Mark asks. “This kind of feels like stalker behavior.”
“It does,” you admit. “But at the same time, he calls me Tiny, and he says we’ve met before- when I asked what he even got out of the phonecall he said he just wanted to ‘talk to me a little,’ which, I don’t know, for some reason I feel like he’s not a stalker.” 
Mark gives you a look that says ‘You’re crazy,’ and after listening to everything that just spewed out of your own mouth, maybe you kind of agree with him.
 “So if he calls you again…” Mark reasks his earlier question, one you’d chosen to ignore.
But you can’t ignore it now, and you let out a deep breath.
“If he calls again… We’ll see what happens.”
“Tiny-”
“Mark,” you counter, knowing he’s about to chastise you. But you don’t want to hear it. If even he doesn’t have any idea of who your mystery caller could be, you simply can’t give up. If you never find out who this ‘Ghost Face’ dude is, you’ll feel unsolved for the rest of your life and you know it.
“Look, I’ll ask around a little,” Mark concedes.
You let out a squeal of delight, throwing your arms around your closet fratboy friend. He lets out a chuckle, gently squeezing you back. 
Mark’s a good guy. 
If only you were into good guys and not sleazy stoners calling you while getting a hard-on for being Ghost Face.
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Monday pt 2
It’s nine o'clock and you’re starting to get tired while you study. You’re in need of a distraction, so when your phone rings with an unknown number, your heart practically jumps into your throat.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Tiny.”
“Wow, Mister Ghost Face,” you laugh, twirling in your spinny chair, “two nights in a row. You must really like me, huh?”
The laugh he lets out sounds genuine, even though his voice is obscured still. For some reason, the noise makes you grin, and you can’t believe you’re actually kind of having fun with this.
“I do like you,” the mystery man confirms. “Tell me about your day.”
“Tell you about my day?” You’re in shock.
“Uh huh.”
“No teasing or nothing? No three guesses about your identity?” 
“I’ll tell you what,” he lets out a sigh, “like you said, Halloween is in a week. If you keep letting me call you until then, I’ll reveal myself when you come to the party.”
“The party?” you repeat. “You make it sound like there’s only one frat party on Halloween.”
“Only one worth going to.”
“Is that so?” He’s so cocky- why does that turn you on? 
“Yup. In fact, I know you agree with me on this, because the past two Halloweens, you’ve come to my frat.” 
Your body freezes. He’s just given you a massive hint-
“So you’re an NCT boy?”
“Wouldn’t call myself a boy, and neither would you if you saw what's in my pants.” 
You swallow the lump in your throat, not sure how to even respond to the suggestive comment he’s just made. 
The man on the other end of the line lets out a chuckle. “Sorry, I’m two blunts deep. I should watch what I say to you, that's why I asked about your day.”
“You don’t have to- watch what you say, I mean.”
“Yeah?” You can almost picture him leaning back in a chair, a large half-chub growing in his pants- “Are you getting horny from a mystery man on your phone? Dirty girl.”
“Dirty guy,” you counter, “trying to entice me by saying your dick is big.”
“Well, it worked, didn’t it?”
“I’m intrigued,” you admit, “but not only because of your cock.”
“It’s a nice cock.”
“Okay, I’ll tell you about my day,” you sidestep. “Had an early class with Mark Lee, you must know Mark.”
“Of course.”
“Well, he has no clue who you could be.”
“You talked about me.” 
You can hear him smiling. 
“I bet you couldn’t even sleep last night. Too busy trying to figure out who I am.”
Okay, maybe he is a bit of a stalker. Or maybe he just knows you well… who the fuck is this guy?
“Stop being so cocky,” you insist.
“Tell me I’m wrong.” 
“Mark told me you’re probably a stalker, said I should maybe block your number.”
“I don’t have a number, if I did, that would be too easy for you. I’m an unknown caller… can you even block unknown callers?” 
“I guess we’ll find out when I block you.”
“Won’t happen though. What did you do after your class with Mark?”
“Are you really that interested in my day?” 
“I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t interested.”
He’s a cocky softy, who would have imagined. 
You wonder what you ever did to make this guy so sweet on you- you’ve dated men who don’t even care to ask you how your day went, and this guy is out here doing it practically for free.
“Classes were okay, my sorority had a little fundraiser at lunch, we baked cupcakes.”
“They were good cupcakes.” 
“Wait…” your stomach churns a little. “You stopped by?”
“I’m a sucker for cupcakes, and how cute your butt looks in blue jeans.”
You search your memory, counting how many NCT boys came through around lunch. You realize that there were far too many for it to do any good in deciphering which one is the man you’re currently talking to.
“Did we talk?”
“You talked to everyone who bought something. I’m not special.”
Except… he kind of is special, in a way you can’t truly explain… not yet anyways.
“Maybe you are a stalker,” you decide.
“I can promise you I’m not, but I bet you’d be kind of into it if I was.”
This guy makes you feel such conflicting emotions, you’re not sure how to even handle him.
“Look, I was studying when you called-”
“Right, you should get back to that.”
“I should.”
“Sleep tight, Tiny. It’s been nice talking to you.”
Part of you wants to return the sentiment, it feels second nature, but the words stop on your tongue. In all fairness, it hasn’t been particularly nice talking to the mystery Ghost Face guy. 
Instead of saying anything else, you simply hit him with a “Bye,” and you hang up the phone.
However, you don’t get back to studying, you immediately call Mark.
He sounds groggy as he says “Hello?”
“Did I wake you?”
“No.”
“I just got a call from that guy again. He’s definitely one of your frat brothers, and he’s high right now.”
“That doesn’t narrow it down,” Mark sighs. “We sort of uh… all got high at the fire after dinner.”
“Mark Lee!” you screech.
“Sorry, sorry!” Mark groans. “I’ll uh… ask around some more. We’ll figure out who this dude is.”
“And if we don’t… he said he’d tell me who he is at your frat Halloween bash at the end of the week.” 
It’s Monday now, and the party is on Saturday. That means you’ll only have to wait a few days… you can hold out for a few days… can’t you?
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Tuesday
You read over the email a third time, but it doesn’t make anything better. The words ‘We regret to inform you that you have not been chosen for the position’ make your eyes begin to well with tears.
Quickly exiting your phone, you grab your things. You refuse to cry in the middle of the library-
The bathroom will have to do the trick, and you hurry to get there, holding back the choked sob that longs to slip out of you.
You’d thought for sure this interview would land you a job on campus. The interview had gone well, or so you’d thought.
You don’t even know why you’re getting so upset about this. 
There’s just something so devastating about rejection. 
You get to the bathroom quickly, shutting yourself into a stall before you allow the tears to fall again. You cradle your face in your hands, allowing the sadness to overwhelm you.
It’s important to have a good cry every now and again, and you definitely need this.
Your cries, however, are interrupted by your phone ringing in your pocket. Wiping at your face, you reach for the device, lifting it to your ear.
“Hello?”
“Are you okay?” 
“I really don’t have time for this right now, Ghost-” you groan, closing your eyes at the familiar voice-modulated sound.
“You do have time,” he insists. “Tell me what happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just saw you running through the library. Looked like you were crying.”
“I wasn’t crying!” you nearly yell. 
“Liar. Come on, Tiny, let Ghostie make you feel better.”
The affectionate-sounding nickname prompts you to wipe your eyes. “Are you sure you’re not a stalker?”
“I was in the library, don’t get your panties in a twist.”
“Was?”
“I’m gone now, can’t have you figuring out who I am before Halloween.”
“Would it really be so bad if I did?” you question. “It would make me feel better.”
“Look at you, using your bad experience to try to swindle me,” you hear him laugh, and there are more sounds now, as if he’s walking across campus. “Seriously, Tiny, tell me what’s going on.”
“Do you always walk around campus with a voice modulator?”
“It’s an app on my phone babe, now answer my question.” 
“You didn’t ask a question, you commanded me to tell you what happened, and I’m not taking commands right now.”
He sighs. “Will you please tell me what’s making you cry?”
Your lower lip trembles. “It’s stupid.”
“Nothing that hurts you is stupid.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“It looked like you needed a friend.”
“You’re not my friend. You’re some guy who got my number and gets hard by pretending to be Ghost Face from Scream.”
“I could be your friend. Could be more than your friend. And I’m not hard right now. Not after seeing you cry.” 
You take a breath. “I applied for a job and I uh… they didn’t hire me.”
“Then they’re stupid.”
“Maybe I’m stupid.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I’m a girl who’s spent three days talking to a guy who keeps his identity a secret, and for some crazy reason, you’re actually making me feel better. That definitely makes me stupid.”
“No, it makes you soft. It’s one of the things I like about you.”
“Yeah?” you sniffle. “What else? And don’t say my ass in blue jeans.”
The man chuckles. “You’re soft, and kind. But you’re a fighter too. You’ve got a spark. Don’t even get me started on how smart you are-”
“And how would you know how smart I am?”
“For starters, you’re in the top-scoring sorority on campus,” he points out. “Whenever you come to trivia night, you wipe the floor with all of us. Mark talks constantly about how much you help him with his classes, which brings me to my next point, you care about charity. That’s a great sign of your character.” 
“You do know a lot about me, don’t you, Ghostie?” His words have stopped your tears, and you cradle your phone close to your ear. 
“Still not a stalker though.”
Now he even has you laughing. “Jury’s still out on that one.”
“You sound better already,” he muses. “Mark has a free block right now, I’m sure if you call him he’d take you for ice cream or something to distract you.”
“That’s a good idea,” you admit.
“I’m full of good ideas.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it, Tiny.”
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Tuesday pt 2
“This guy sounds like a full-on stalker,” Mark says for the sixth time as you grab ice cream and sit inside while a storm passes, rain splattering the windows.
“I mean, if he knew your schedule, I’m guessing he’s someone close to you.”
“He’s stalking us both, I don’t like it.”
“But he’s nice.”
“He’s stalking you, Tiny!” 
“He’s not!” you insist. “A lot of people were at the library today… honestly, I think… I think Ghostie is kind of sweet.”
“Ghostie?!” Mark stares at you in shock. “You’re calling him Ghostie now?”
“It’s cute, right?”
“It’s crazy is what it is!” Mark leans back in his seat, frowning. “This is giving me the creeps.”
“Well, it’s spooky season.”
“If I’m being honest, I don’t think any of my frat brothers would pull crazy shit like this. They’re mostly pretty chill dudes.”
“So you think he’s lying about being in NCT?” you ask, cocking your head to the side.
“I think he’s definitely lying,” Mark confirms.
“Well, agree to disagree.”
Mark studies you for a moment. “Look, the only guy who’s a freak like this is Yuta and he swore up and down to me yesterday that he’s not calling you with a fucking voice modulator.” 
“I don’t think this is Yuta.”
“Because you’re a Ghostie expert now, huh?” He scoffs loudly.
“Yuta’s not really a stoner,” you point out. “And besides, I can’t explain why I know it’s not him, I just have a feeling.”
“Yeah, is that feeling in your pussy by any chance?” 
“Mark Lee!” you gasp, scandalized by his choice of words. 
“Be real with me!” he insists. “You wouldn’t be entertaining this if it wasn’t… I don’t know, turning you on? Are you turned on by stalkers? Is this why you like Halloween so much?”
“Okay, maybe I am turned on, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.”
“It just makes you crazy,” Mark groans, running a hand through his hair. “I swear to God, when the dude reveals himself at the frat party, it better be one of my frat brothers and not a serial killer. And also, I’m going to fight him.”
“Something tells me he’d beat you,” you giggle.
“Now you’re trying to make me feel bad.”
“Says the guy who just called me crazy.” You grin, knowing that you’ve won.
“This whole thing is crazy.”
He has a point about that.
Wednesday
You’ve been waiting all day for a call from Ghostie, and it comes right before you’re about to head to bed. You practically launch yourself at your phone, putting it on speaker and saying “Hello?” as if you don’t know who’s on the other end of the line.
“Hey you, feeling better today?”
“You tell me, mister stalker.”
“I haven’t actually seen you today, it was a bit of a shame if I’m being honest.”
“Yeah?” God, this man has way too much power over you. “And why’s that, Ghostie?”
“Because I’ve been looking at your Instagram, but you’re cuter in person.”
“Do you follow me?” 
“We’re mutuals.” 
You’re mutuals with pretty much the entire NCT frat, it would have been more helpful if he’d said he’s not a follower, although, now that you think of it, that had always been unlikely. 
“Still trying to figure out who I am, aren’t you, Tiny?”
“Of course.”
“Remember when I was listing your good qualities? Patience wasn’t one of them.” 
“That’s so rude of you,” you say, although, you’re grinning at your phone.
“Here, I’ll make it better. I have an idea for you.”
“Let’s hear it then.” You get comfortable on your bed, wondering what he’s about to say.
“If you want a job, there’s this bar on campus, Skeets. Have you heard of it?”
“Who hasn’t heard of Skeets?” You roll your eyes. 
“They let just about anyone work there. A few of the NCT guys are bartenders, I’m sure they’d put a good word in for you with the hiring manager, he’s also a member of the frat.” 
You haven’t been to Skeets in ages, and you try to remember who you know amongst the staff. “Wait, you’re right- doesn’t Hyuck work there?”
“He does… This is the second time you’ve mentioned him, got something of a crush, Tiny?”
“Would that make you jealous?” you tease.
“I’m not the jealous type,” he states. “But yeah… it would.”
“Don’t get your Ghost Face mask in a knot, I don’t have a crush on Hyuck. In fact, if you turn out to be Hyuck and I find out you lied to me about your identity, I’m going to be really mad.” 
“I’m not Hyuck.”
“Good.” You consider his proposition for a moment. “Do you really think they’d hire me?”
“It doesn’t hurt to try.”
“You know, on Sunday, if someone had told me you’d be helping me find a job not three days later, I would have said they were crazy.”
“Guess I like to keep you on your toes.”
“I think you just have a major soft spot for me. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“I can’t. I promised not to lie to you.” 
God, he makes you so giddy it’s insane. 
“Are you going to come stalk me at Skeets if they give me a job?”
“Goodnight, Tiny.” He’s avoiding the question, and you can hear him grinning through the phone.
“Night, Ghostie.”
It’s the first time he’s the one to hang up on you, and it leaves you wanting more.
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Thursday
Ghostie had assured you that Skeets hires just about anyone, but that doesn’t help the anxiety building inside of you as you prepare to take your resume into the bar. 
You even do a Wonderwoman pose outside while waiting for Skeets to open, breathing deeply to psych yourself up while you go over possible interview questions just in case the hiring manager wants a chit-chat today.
“I love working in a team environment,” you say quietly to yourself, closing your eyes and running through responses. “The most important thing is that the guests feel welcome.”
The sound of something dragging across the cement ground has you practically jumping, lids flashing open as your head whips toward the noise.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt your mantra,” the tall fratboy laughs, setting up the wooden sign with the daily drink menu just in front of the door to the bar.
“It’s fine,” you assure him, swallowing thickly. 
The man in front of you is Johnny Suh. He’s two years older than you, and you know him through Mark. When guys join a frat, they’re assigned a ‘Big,’ an elder frat brother to guide them through the process. Johnny is Mark’s big, and he’s always been nice to you whenever you’ve crossed paths.
You would call Johnny an acquaintance, not a friend, but he’s still a friendlier face than you may have expected to see upon your first moments interacting with Skeets staff. 
“You coming inside, Tiny?” Johnny asks.
“Yeah, sorry John, one sec, I just need another deep breath.” You wave your hand at him, turning your back and gulping down air while you hold your bag tight to your front, the resume within practically burning a hole in the leather.
The hot fratboy heads back inside and you finish calming yourself down. 
You can do this. You can get this job.
As you enter the bar that’s just open, you realize there are only a few staff members kicking around so far. Kim Jungwoo is rearranging chairs, and Lee Donghyuck is sitting on a table looking at his phone. Johnny Suh is behind the bar, and you decide you should probably talk to him, so you try to act confident as you walk through the small establishment.
Johnny’s brown eyes raise as you approach, and he offers you a small smile. “Tough day?”
“What?” You blink at him, settling against the bartop.
“You looked kind of off outside, and most people don’t come in to day-drink this early.”
“Oh, uh… I’m not here to day-drink.” You let out a tiny laugh. “Actually, I came to see if you guys were looking to hire new staff members, I brought my resume.”
You reach into your bag to pull out the papers, and you hand them over to Johnny.
His eyes scan the first sheet. “Wow, a cover letter, I’ve actually never seen one of these.”
People don’t apply with cover letters? The idea is kind of shocking to you.
Johnny hardly looks at your resume, setting it down in front of him to address you instead. “What makes you want to work at Skeets?”
“In all honesty, I need a job. I’m dependable, and I’ve got a decent schedule to work in the food service industry. I like working as part of a team, and I’m already friends with a lot of the staff here, so I thought it might be a good fit.”
Johnny nods, assessing you. “Have you bartended before?”
“I’ve got my qualifications to serve alcohol, but I’ve mostly had waitressing jobs,” you admit.
“At Skeets, we all do a bit of everything. Would you be open to learning how to mix drinks?”
“I’d be very open to it,” you nod. 
“Then let’s give it a shot,” Johnny smiles warmly at you. “You’ve got good timing, we actually just had to let go of someone for excessive drinking on the job. I was going to put a wanted ad up today, but looks like that won’t be necessary.”
“Are you…” you swallow thickly, “are you serious? I’m hired?”
“Yeah, why not?” 
You can’t help the squeal of delight that rushes through you, and a massive grin makes its way onto your face. You even jump a little, and Johnny seems to enjoy your excitement, smiling from ear to ear while you celebrate. 
“When can you start?” he asks next.
“I can start tomorrow! I mean, if you need me that soon.”
“Tomorrow is a big night here at Skeets, the Friday before Halloween. We could use the hands, but it will be a busy one, do you think you can handle that?”
You’re quick to nod. “Of course. But I uh… I should let you know, I can’t work Halloween, I promised a friend I’d meet them at your frat for the party.”
“Don’t worry about Saturday,” Johnny assures you. “Sigma Veta Tau has their frat party tonight, so it’s all us NCT guys working, and tomorrow we’ll switch. As much as Seungcheol is a good comanager, I don’t trust him to teach you how to mix drinks on Halloween.”
“So… you’re going to be the main person training me then?” you ask.
“If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself,” he confirms. 
You can’t help but beam up at the tall frat boy, overjoyed at this turn of events. As cute as Johnny is though, part of you is excited to tell Ghostie about this when he inevitably calls you tonight. 
Your life is definitely a little crazy.
“So, how about you come in tomorrow at seven?” Johnny suggests. “The bar will be open past midnight, but I figure I can show you a few things before it gets busy around ten, and then I can let you go early.”
“I’ll be here at seven.”
“And when it comes to what you’re wearing, we’ll give you a Skeets t-shirt,” he pulls at the black fabric stretched tight across his broad chest. “Other than that, you can wear any color of jeans and some sneakers.”
“Perfect.”
“You’ll be paid for the training shift, I’ll tip you out in cash, and if it goes well, we’ll get your banking details at your next shift after that,” Johnny explains. “I’ve got your number here on your resume, so I’ll be in contact with you on Sunday, how’s that sound?”
“Sounds like a dream.” You literally can’t stop smiling.
“Tiny’s going to learn to mix,” Johnny says fondly, “Mark’s going to love this.”
You already feel close to Mark’s big, and the opportunity to work with him is a good one. Johnny is one of the more well-known nice guys at the frat. Sure, he’s got a little bit of a dangerous edge to him, just based on his massive stature alone, but he’s generally a big softy bear. 
“Thanks again for this, Johnny,” you beam. “I won’t let you down.”
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Thursday pt 2
“Hyuck said our favorite Tiny sorority princess got herself a job today.” 
“Hello to you too, Ghostie.”
“I wanted to cut to the chase and congratulate you.”
“I wouldn’t have gotten the job without you,” you admit. “So… thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” your mystery man says, and you can hear that classic grin of his. “I’m sure you got it on your own merit.”
“Apparently no one’s ever brought a cover letter with their resume before.”
“They must have been impressed.” 
“Hired me on the spot.”
“That’s my girl.” 
Your insides flutter. You like the way it sounds when he calls you his girl. “How about your day, Ghostie? Stalk any new girls?”
He laughs. “Only one girl worth stalking, which, I don’t do, by the way.”
“Sure you don’t.”
“My day was long,” he says finally.
“Yeah, it’s nearly midnight, I was thinking about going to sleep but…”
“But you wanted me to call,” Ghostie finishes your sentence for you.
“When you say it like that it sounds kind of depressing.”
“It’s not depressing, Tiny, it’s cute.”
“Cute?” 
“I like that you’re getting used to me.”
“You know… if you decided not to show up to the Halloween party- if you never called again, I think… I’d wonder who you are the rest of my life.” It’s a moment of vulnerability, and your heart races in your chest while you wait for his response. 
“I wouldn’t do that to you, Tiny,” Ghostie promises. “I’ll find you on Saturday, and not in a stalker way.”
“What costume are you going to be wearing?” 
“If I tell you, you’ll just show up and scour the whole place looking for me.”
“You know me too well, don’t you, Ghostie?”
“What are you going to wear, pretty girl?”
You literally kick your feet at the term of endearment, body buzzing. It takes a moment to collect yourself. “Honestly? I’ve got a Ghost Face mask hanging around somewhere.”
“And here I was being told I’m the one who gets hard pretending to be Ghost Face.” 
“Well… even though I don’t know you, not really, I think I got that one pretty accurate, didn’t I?”
“Maybe a little.”
“I thought you said you were big,” you tease.
“Okay, maybe a lot.”
You bite at your lip. After the great day you’ve had, it’s difficult not to feel flirty. “Are you hard right now, big guy?”
He groans, and even under the voice modulator, something tells you the sounds he makes are sexy as fuck. You can feel your panties getting wet. It’s dirty, but in the best possible way.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” you grin.
“You’re being bad, Tiny.”
“Says the guy who’s literally hard right now.”
The other end of the line is silent for a moment. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“What if… when we meet, you’re not interested in me?”
Well, this has just taken a turn. How did you go from horny thoughts to insecurity? 
It’s a valid question though, one you should have asked yourself by now, but for some reason you haven’t. You think about it for a few seconds. 
“I feel like… I know it’s been less than a week of talking but, you’re not like any other guy I’ve ever met. And not just because you’re calling with a voice modulator.” You let out a laugh. “You ask how my day is, and you care to hear my answer. You even helped me get a job, which is crazy to think about. For some weird reason, I think when I meet you, the emotional connection is already kind of there, so no matter what you look like, you’ll be more attractive to me.”
“You really think so?” 
“I mean, NCT is known for having hot guys, so I’m not sure who you could be that would turn me off. There are only a few NCT guys I’d say a hard no to at the moment.”
“Yeah? Who?” 
“Well, Doyoung and I have never gotten along, but I know you’re not him because he doesn’t touch weed. I dated Jeno for about a week, and I know enough about him to know I don’t want to do anything with him ever again, and also, that you’re not Jeno because he’d never ask me how my day was going-”
“What an asshole.”
You laugh. “All things considered, Ghostie, I think you’ll do just fine.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“Is this why you’ve been doing the whole voice modulator thing? You’re worried I won’t be interested in you?”
“It’s one of the reasons,” Ghostie admits. “I also worried that if I did hit on you, you might think I was only trying to get you into my bed, which, yeah, it would be nice, but… as perfect as your body is, it’s not the most interesting thing about you.”
What a scrumptious take; A guy calling you up and using anonymity to prove to you that this connection isn’t only about sex. 
Your heart softens.
“Ghostie, you might be one of the sweetest guys I know,” you admit.
“More than your best friend Mark Lee?”
You laugh. “Maybe not, Mark would never do something like this. You’re a bit of a paradox that way, aren’t you?”
“If you say so, Tiny. As much as I’ve liked this talk, I think I should let you sleep. Halloween is two days away and I’m sure we’ve both got a lot to do before then.”
“What if I don’t want you to go just yet?”
“Then I’d remind you that patience is a virtue.”
“You’re such a tease.”
“Good thing we have an emotional connection so you’ll forgive me for it. Night, Tiny.”
“Night, Ghostie.” 
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Friday 
Your first shift consists of shadowing Johnny. He’s a fabulous teacher. He’s calm, patient, and very encouraging. The first few hours are a breeze, but the bar gets increasingly packed as the night goes on.
It’s a little overwhelming, but Johnny helps keep you steady. He gives you the easy drink orders, things like beer and simple cocktails. While you’re filling a cup from the beer tap, he’s busy mixing five to ten different things into one glass for items on the Halloween special menu.
There’s something sexy about a diligent worker, and his beefy arms are all bulgy and hot in his tight Skeets shirt. You can tell that a lot of girls come up to the bar specifically to order from him. There are two other bartenders, but Johnny’s line is notably the longest.
You’ve had your own share of interested men pop over to say hi. There are very few frat boys here tonight, as there’s a party in full swing in the Greek village, so most of the guys coming up to grab a beer from you are people you don’t know.
Many of them are dressed up in costumes, and it’s interesting to try to guess some of the more obscure clothing choices.
Anytime you see a man in a ghost costume, your mind shifts to your mystery caller. You wonder if he’ll pop by tonight- but other than the men already working with you, no NCT boys walk through the front door. 
No Ghostie.
There’s not one second of reprieve, but staff need breaks, and finally, just before midnight, Johnny pulls you both for a breather. 
“Are you sure the others can keep up while we’re gone?” you ask, looking back at the swamped bartenders.
“They can manage,” he assures you, guiding you through the back staffroom to a door that leads to an alleyway behind the bar. “I know I’ve kept you on longer than I thought, but it’s just been so busy. How are you holding up?”
The cool night air is a drastic difference from the heat and humidity inside, and you take a deep breath, closing your eyes and enjoying it. “I’m doing alright,” you tell him. “You’re the one making the difficult drinks.”
“I’ve been mixing cocktails for years,” he brushes it off, reaching into his back pocket. 
“Well, it shows.” You watch to see him pull out a rolled joint, and next comes a lighter.
“Want some?” he asks, lifting the joint to slot between his perfect lips. 
“Are we allowed to smoke on the job?” 
“Hyuck was prescribed Vyvanse last year, so he’s practically on coke all shift,” Johnny grins, lighting the end of the joint and taking a puff. “Besides,” he lets out a deep breath of smoke, “in the service industry, sometimes you need a little buffer.”
Skeets really is a chill place if the hiring manager smokes weed on breaks with subordinates. 
“I didn’t realize you were a stoner,” you muse.
“Most of us frat boys are,” Johnny admits, pulling the joint from between his lips. It’s placed casually between two fingers, and his other hand ruffles through his pretty hair. “It’s a nice night.”
“It is,” you nod, looking up at the sky. Stars are twinkling in the dark
“I’m glad you joined the team, not sure we would have been doing so well without your extra set of hands.”
“I’m really grateful to have been given a trial shift,” you smile softly.
“Well, just so you know, it’s more than a trial shift. You’re hired.” He nudges your shoulder gently, and your grin only grows.
“Thank you.”
Johnny takes another drag from his joint. “Sure you don’t want a puff?”
“I really shouldn’t-”
“I’m going to let you go home pretty soon after this,” Johnny tells you. “So it won’t affect your performance that much.”
You wonder if this is a test, but… at the same time, you don’t think Johnny’s the type of guy to test you this way. 
You give in, accepting the joint and bringing it to your lips. It’s been a while since you smoked one of these, and your first tiny hit leaves you coughing, passing the joint back to Johnny while you try to catch your breath.
He grins while watching you, and you get the sneaking suspicion that Johnny thinks you’re cute. 
“Thank you,” you say, coughing again.
“You’ve got good manners, don’t ya, Tiny?”
You nod, wiping at the tears that have formed in your eyes from the smoke. 
“Who... who do you usually smoke with?” you ask.
“Why? You a cop?” Johnny jokes.
“No, it’s just uh… God, I could tell you the whole story but you wouldn’t even believe me if I did,” you find yourself laughing. “Just… I didn’t know you smoked, so, I’m wondering if maybe there are a few other guys in your circle who do too.”
Johnny looks you up and down. “Like I said earlier, Tiny, almost all us frat boys partake in mari-ju-ana.”
It’s clear he’s not going to give you any information that could help you figure out who your Ghostie is. You suppose you really will just have to be patient.
In less than twenty-four hours, you’ll be finding out who your mystery caller is, and the suspense is absolutely killing you.
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Friday pt 2
It’s twelve thirty when you finally get home, and you’re very tired. But at the same time, you’re awake. You take your time getting ready for bed, ignoring the loud party sounds outside and around the frat village while you wait for a call from Ghostie.
As one am rolls around, you start to realize that maybe tonight you won’t get a call.
He is a frat boy, and this is Halloween weekend. 
You’re disappointed as you get into bed, frowning as you scroll on your phone, hoping that if you wait another five minutes, maybe he’ll catch you. 
Five minutes turn into ten, turn into fifteen, and you find your eyes beginning to shut.
You’re starting to understand how much you truly have come to depend on Ghostie as part of your nightly ritual. It hurts not to get a call from your favourite voice-modulated anonymous frat boy.
You try to self-soothe by assuring yourself you’ll meet him tomorrow, but it doesn’t really help. 
Tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable, you fall into a blissless sleep.
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Saturday 
You’re groggy when you open your eyes, but you still go to check your phone. There’s a missed call notification from an unknown number at three am, and suddenly you’re wide awake, bolting up in bed.
“Hey, Tiny, it’s me.”
As if it could be anyone else.
“Sorry I didn’t get a chance to call you last night. I was pretty swamped with Halloween stuff. But if it makes you feel any better, you were definitely on my mind.”
Here you are kicking your feet again.
“Probably won’t get a chance to talk to you until the party, I really do hope you come… in uh… more ways than one.”
God, he makes you wet.
“I get it if you’re a little mad at me for not calling earlier, and I promise to make it up to you when I see you, if you’ll let me.”
He’s so oddly respectful.
“But I get it if you don’t want to do anything at the party. I’ve enjoyed talking with you this week, and if that’s all it’s going to be then I won’t hold it against you. Anyways, goodnight, see you soon.”
Saturday pt 2
You feel cute tonight. You’d taken your Ghost Face mask off almost as soon as entering the frat, but the little black dress you’re wearing is enough to capture a lot of attention. 
Every frat boy that comes up to you makes your heart race, but none of them reveal themselves as your Ghostie. 
You’re actually beginning to get a little frustrated, and after two hours of floating around hoping to find your mystery man, you head with Mark to his room for a break.
Mark’s roommate, Hyuck, is sitting on his bed, bong already out and resting on one thigh while scrolls through his phone. He looks up when you enter, smirking. “Finally, smoking buddies.”
“You texted me like two minutes ago to come up here,” Mark rolls his eyes. “Have some patience.”
“Not in my nature,” Hyuck insists, setting his phone down and reaching for his lighter. “First hit is mine.”
As if you expected anything less. 
You watch him inhale the thick cloud of smoke, holding it for a moment in his lungs before he lets out a deep exhale. “Fucking hell, he groans, that was a good hit.” 
Mark takes the bong and Hyuck falls flat against the bed, closing his eyes and smiling.
“So have you found your stalker yet, Tiny?” Hyuck asks.
Your gaze flashes to Mark. “You told him?”
“He was curious why I was asking for a stoner list,” Mark defends himself. 
“Whoever the dude is, he’s got balls,” Hyuck says wistfully. 
There’s a knock on the door, and Jaehyun pokes his head inside. “Heard we’re smoking?”
“Yeah, come in!” Hyuck waves his hand, still collapsed on his bed.
The door is pushed open wider, and you catch sight of Johnny standing behind Jaehyun. Your new hiring manager flashes you a wink as they enter, and the door is shut firmly behind them. Jaehyun goes to sit with Hyuck, but Johnny approaches you, taking the seat next to you on Mark’s bed. 
“How’s your night going?” Johnny asks.
“She’s waiting for her stalker to come kidnap her and fuck her brains out,” Hyuck says loudly.
“Your stalker?” Johnny laughs.
“Some guy has been calling her all week,” Mark tries to explain.
“It sounds worse than it is,” you insist, feeling the need to defend Ghostie. “He’s only a little perverted.” 
“And you’re into that sort of thing?” Jaehyun questions, cocking his head while Mark takes a puff from the bong and hands it over.
“Not usually,” you admit. “But… this guy is different.”
“You don’t even know what he looks like,” Mark groans, collapsing in his desk chair and running an anxious hand through his hair.
“That doesn’t matter,” you insist. 
“Fucking girls, dude,” Hyuck laughs, sitting up and watching Jaehyun smoke from the bong. “You know what we need?”
“More weed?” Mark suggests.
“Yes, but also, shots.” Hyuck’s eyes shift to Johnny. “Not the shit from downstairs. The good stuff.”
Johnny lets out a chuckle. “You want something from my secret stash?”
“The tequila you brought back from Mexico,” Hyuck nods.
Jaehyun lets out a puff of smoke, holding the bong out for Johnny, who shakes his head. 
“You’re not taking a hit?” Jaehyun asks, staring at Johnny in hazy shock.
“Not tonight,” Johnny responds. Then he turns to you. “If neither of us are taking a crack at the bong, how about you come help me grab the tequila?”
“Careful, John,” Hyuck teases, “She’s not interested in you, she only has eyes for this Ghostie dude.”
Mark shoves Hyuck’s knee and Johnny simply grins. “Come on Tiny, you don’t want to get secondhand high on a night like this.”
He’s right about that, and you stand with him, heading to the door. Johnny’s so tall and broad, and you try not to stare at his shoulders, but it’s extremely difficult not to appreciate his large form. 
“What’s your costume?” you ask. 
“Oh, this?” He pulls casually at his black tshirt. “I’m a serial killer, they look like everyone else.”
“Very original,” you laugh, falling into step with the tall fratboy as you make your way down the crowded hall. 
“My room is on the top floor,” he tells you, heading to the stairwell and holding the door open for you. “I like your dress, by the way.”
“Thanks, it goes with this.” You hold up the Ghost Face mask to show it to him, and his grin widens while you climb the stairs.
“You’re gonna have to let me try that on.”
“I’m uh… I’m actually saving it for Ghostie to try,” you admit, feeling a little silly with how loyal you’re being to your mystery caller.
“He’s a lucky guy,” Johnny muses.
“Here’s to hoping it goes well,” you sigh.
Johnny doesn’t respond to your comment, and as you reach the top floor he guides you three rooms down, using a key to unlock the door before he holds it open for you. “After you, Tiny.”
The space is the same size as Hyuck and Mark’s, but it only has one bed. “I didn’t realize they had single rooms here,” you say, looking around. 
“There’s only a few, and I’ve got seniority,” Johnny explains. He closes the door behind him, walking over to the large closet. 
You take in the decorations. It’s unmistakably a frat boy's room, but much cleaner than you’re used to. There’s a gaming station, and a mini fridge that you’d guess is full of beer. A clothing rack shows off some of Johnny’s more sophisticated tastes. 
You’re curious about what else he has in his stash, so you join him by the closet, peeking inside. “We’re looking for tequila right?”
God, he has a whole shelf full of expensive bottles of booze. 
“Uh huh,” Johnny nods. “Should be in the back here somewhere.”
“Isn’t this tequila?” you ask, pointing to a bottle he’s brushed past.
“Close,” Johnny flashes a grin at you before continuing to rummage, “but no cigar.” 
You freeze. 
It’s been nearly a week since your first interaction with Ghostie, but you remember that interesting turn of phrase like it was yesterday. 
But- it can’t be. 
Johnny can’t be your mystery caller-
Can he?
“Found it,” Johnny announces, pulling an immaculate bottle of tequila out. His gaze lands on you. “You alright, Tiny? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I mean… have I?” 
He cocks his head. “What do you mean?”
“You’re…” You swallow thickly. “Are you my Ghostie?”
Johnny meets your gaze with a steady look. “Does it upset you?”
It’s not a clear confirmation, but it’s a confirmation nonetheless. 
You stare at him in absolute shock for a moment. He looks insanely gorgeous tonight, all broad, with his pretty lips- without even knowing what you’re doing, you find yourself throwing your arms around him and burying your face against his chest.
Johnny freezes, obviously startled by the sudden contact, but then he’s wrapping you in a tight embrace. One of his hands finds the back of your head, and he cradles you close.
Neither of you say anything, you simply hold each other while you come to terms with everything. 
He’s so stupid for ever thinking you wouldn’t want him-
You do want him. You want him so bad-
Pulling away from his chest, you tilt your chip up, reaching for his face. You cup his cheek while you move on your tiptoes to press your lips against his.
He appears just as shocked at this movement as when you’d hugged him, but he eases into it all the same, kissing you back gently.
But you don’t want gentle, you want him.
You’re pent up from a week of teasing, and you shift in his embrace, wrapping both arms around the back of his neck while you glide your tongue against his lip. 
Johnny lets out a groan, his mouth opening for you while his hands slip down to tug your waist closer.
The kiss deepens and now it’s your turn to release a moan, pressing your tits closer to his chest. He feels like heaven against you, and his lips are absolutely magic. His tongue glides gently against your own. You can taste beer, but it’s not unpleasant, in fact, it turns you on even more.
You thread your fingers through his hair, dragging your nails against his scalp-
“Fuck,” Johnny mutters against your mouth.
Then he’s bending down, hands grabbing at your ass and prompting you to jump. You wrap your legs around his hips and he carries you effortlessly, closing the distance to his bed.
Instead of tossing you down, he sits on the mattress and suddenly your knees are digging into his charcoal duvet. You’re on top, fingers in his hair, your tongue licking at his lip, and you’ve never felt so powerful.
It gives you the confidence to wiggle your hips a little, and you’re pleased to find he’s already growing hard in his jeans. God, he feels big- and your pussy throbs at the idea of what you’re going to do to him tonight.
You’re in a dress, and your panty-clad core feels delightful against bulging denim. Johnny’s grabbing at your bare thigh, kneading your flesh, and it makes you moan desperately. Not only is he skilled with his tongue, but his hands seem to know what they’re doing too.
Suddenly he’s grabbing at your hair, tugging you so you arch your head back, giving him access to your throat. His mouth feels amazing as he begins to lick and suck on your neck, finding your sweet spot way too easily-
“Who-” You swallow thickly. “Who gave you my number?”
Johnny laughs against your skin, pulling away to look up at you with dark eyes. “Mark did.”
“Mark?!” You’re in absolute shock now. 
“Gave it to me during finals last year,” Johnny explains. “But… we both had busy summers and…” one of his hands sneaks down to guide your hips, helping you grind against him, “I guess I wasn’t sure how you felt about me.” 
“You’re crazy!” 
“Maybe a little,” he admits. “I’m also Mark’s big, and it’s not like you and I have ever been close.”
“But you’ve liked me for a while, haven’t you, Ghostie?” 
He groans at the nickname, looking up at you with eyes full of wonder. “Longer than you know.”
You wish you could say you’ve felt the same- but in all honesty, you have always seen him as Mark’s big. As an older fratboy dad type-
The way he’s acted with you this week has inklings of that protective daddy personality you know and enjoy, but… he’s not been particularly dad-like. He’s shown you a new side of himself, and you’re so fucking happy he did.
“You know, when Mark finds out you’re my stalker he’s going to flip.”
“I wasn’t stalking you,” Johnny insists, grinning up at you as he applies more pressure to your hips, making you grind against him harder. 
“God, you even hired me for a job-”
He laughs. “It wasn’t favoritism, you had a cover letter, the bar owner was even impressed.”
“You’re so bad- this whole time you’ve been mind fucking me. I would have never guessed my Ghostie worked at Skeets.”
“Well, I do have a minor in psychology,” he admits. “Figured the best place to hide is in plain sight.”
“You even smoked a joint in front of me and I never guessed-”
“Yeah, I was playing with fire with that one,” Johnny laughs. 
“It’s funny. I was so busy thinking about being loyal to Ghostie that I was trying not to check you out last night.” 
“And I’m so lucky to have you. You wouldn’t even let me put on your Ghost Face mask, so busy saving it for Ghostie.”
“Saving myself too,” you note, grinning down at him.
“Yeah?” 
“We’ve talked every night since Sunday- I haven’t cum in over a week.” 
“Fuck, Tiny,” Johnny groans. “I guess I better help you out then.”
“Really? How are you going to do that?”
“I’ll let you stay on top for a while, let you grind against me until you’re begging for me to tear your dress off.” He pulls at the strap on your shoulder. “Then, I’ll flip you over, get on my knees, and eat you out like the good girl you are, stretching you open with my fingers.”
“And then?”
“When you’re shaking and delirious from cumming, I’ll fuck you right. Bet you’ve never really been fucked right before.”
God, you definitely haven’t. At least- you know you’ve never been fucked the way Johnny is about to fuck you.
“What if I already want you to tear my dress off?” you ask, grinding down against his cock.
Johnny lets out a low groan, grinning at you. “Tiny, you’re nowhere near begging yet.”
“I’m not?” You lean forward, pressing a kiss to his throat before your teeth drag against his earlobe. “Please, Ghostie, I’m already so fucking wet, you wouldn’t believe it-”
He laughs, hand finding your hair again. He tugs you away from his neck, pressing his lips to your own and kissing you hard.
He takes your breath away. His tongue is perfect, licking and tasting- making you moan loudly while you work your hips, swiveling on his denim-covered cock.
“Fuck, Ghostie, you’re so fucking big-”
“You haven’t seen anything yet,” he promises, grabbing a fistful of your ass and squeezing so hard it almost hurts. But the pain is wonderful, and you cry out in ecstasy, working yourself harder against him.
If it wasn’t for his enticing cock, you think you could make out with him like this forever. 
You just want to be naked, so you grab at your dress, intent on lifting it off-
Johnny stops you. “I’ve told you patience is a virtue, haven’t I, Tiny?”
You groan in annoyance. “John, please-”
“Ghostie,” he corrects you.
You don’t even care- you simply grab his hand, guiding it between your legs. His fingertips brush over your soaked panties, and you gasp at the feeling of him, immediately grinding down, looking for relief.
“Fuck-” you moan, closing your eyes and throwing your head back.
He begins to circle your clit through your thong and you’re forced to grab at his shoulder to steady yourself, whimpering loudly. 
“Shit, Tiny, you’re so fucking pretty,” he whispers.
“I need you,” you gasp, feeling an orgasm already bubbling in the pit of your stomach. “Please, move my panties to the side-”
Johnny doesn’t question you this time. He pulls your thong away, easily burying two large fingers into your wet, needy core.
Now you’re really gasping. You lean forward, wrapping both arms around his strong shoulders and burying your face against his throat. “Oh my God, Ghostie- don’t stop-”
“You’re going to cum from this, aren’t you, pretty girl?”
You nod desperately, swiveling your hips so your clit can rub against the palm of his hand while his fingers work you open. 
“So good,” you whimper. “So fucking good-”
Johnny groans, curving his fingers and stroking your gspot.
You squeal in his lap, thigh muscles clenching while your pussy begins to throb around the foreign intrusions. You’re so close to the edge you can almost taste it.
“Want you to cum for me. Wanna hear your sounds while you drip down my hand.” 
Fuck, he’s way too sexy, voice all low and seductive. He’s breathing hard, and you can tell you’re turning him on just from riding his fingers-
“Come on, Tiny, who’s my good girl?”
“I am-” you gasp, digging your nails into his shoulders as your orgasm hits you straight on. 
You moan loudly, burying your face against Johnny’s neck. You’re panting against his skin, wiggling your hips while his fingers continue inside of you, driving you absolutely insane. Waves of pleasure are overtaking your form, and your mind is completely blank, overwhelmed by the feeling of ecstasy that Johnny provides for you.
“That’s it,” Johnny encourages you. “So fucking good for me.”
You’re shaking on his lap by the time your high is over, and you press wet kisses to his throat, earning groans from your Ghostie. 
You reach down for your dress, lifting it up and off your body. Johnny pulls back, watching you with dark eyes. He takes his fingers out of your wet pussy, bringing them to his lips to clean. But he’s not done there, as you toss the fabric to the floor, Johnny offers you his digits next. 
You lock eyes with him for a moment before leaning forward and accepting, taking his wet fingers into your mouth and helping suck them clean. You groa at the taste of yourself. Johnny watches the motion, his free hand finding your hip and forcing you to grind down against his cock. 
“You’re so hot, Tiny,” he says, removing his fingers from your lips.
“Wait till you see me naked,” you grin, reaching behind yourself to undo your bra. 
It falls away easily, and Johnny’s large hands cup your breasts almost immediately. His head dips, eyes taking in your newly exposed skin. “Fuck, how does a girl get this perfect?”
“How does a guy get a massive cock like yours?” you counter, rubbing yourself against the front of his jeans. 
“Touche,” he chuckles, leaning down to lick your nipple. 
You thread your fingers through his hair, guiding him to show more affection to your chest, which he’s more than happy to do. His large hand cups your right breast while he worships your other with his mouth, suckling on your nipple. His teeth drag gently against the sensitive bud and you moan loudly, rocking your hips all the while.
“As much as I’d love to keep sucking on your tits,” Johnny sighs, lips moving up your throat again, “I’d rather be between your legs.”
“Ghostie, do whatever you want to me,” you instruct, feeling delightfully submissive.
“You got it, Tiny.” 
In one easy motion, he flips you so your back is on the bed. Johnny pulls away from you, sinking to his knees at the edge of the mattress before grabbing you and tugging you closer. He tears his own shirt off, giving you a great view of muscles that make you even wetter. Then he grabs your panties, sliding them down your legs so you’re completely bare for him now.
Johnny doesn’t say anything, he simply licks his lips and dives into you. His tongue parts your folds, dipping inside to taste your walls while your legs shake around his head. “Fuck, Ghostie-”
You reach down to grab his hair, applying enough pressure to his head to let him know you’re enjoying what he’s doing… if he can’t already tell from your desperately needy moans. 
His lips move to suction on your clit and a squeal escapes you, your back arching slightly at the sensation. 
You’re sensitive from having cum already, sensitive from having not cum all week only to be getting this much attention now. But you’re also probably sensitive because this is Johnny, because there’s been a build-up that’s left you ready to pop, and he seems intent on making you pop multiple times for him.
“Oh my God,” you whimper, eyes closed, abdominal muscles tensing with effort as his skilled tongue works you up again. 
Johnny groans against your pussy and it’s one of the sexiest things that’s ever happened to you. Your grip on his hair tightens, your core throbbing with pleasure already.
When he adds two fingers into your dripping hole, you know you’re not going to last, but you don’t think he wants you to.
In fact, you’d bet that Johnny himself is just about ready to explode. You can’t believe he doesn’t have his cock out yet- can’t believe he’s so intent on making you cum twice before getting any satisfaction for himself.
“Fuck, Ghostie-” You want to tell him how close you are to cumming, but you can hardly get the words out between your moans. “I’m- holy shit-”
Johnny finger fucks you even harder, his mouth focusing on your clit, and you’re pretty sure he’s understood your garbled attempt to warn him, pretty sure he wants you to cum.
You allow yourself to find your release, your back arching again as you tug on Johnny’s hair, keeping his face between your legs. You grind down slightly, your body chasing your orgasm as it surges through you like fire in your veins.
Johnny lets out a low groan again, and your entire body twitches at the extra stimulation. You’re gasping now. Nothing has ever felt this good-
To his credit, Johnny tries to help you through your entire orgasm, but he pulls away before you’re truly finished. You can feel him panting against your pussy, and when you open your eyes to look down at him, you find Johnny staring at you with the horniest expression you’ve ever seen on a man.
“Ghostie-” you whimper, shifting against his duvet. 
“Condoms,” he says, pulling his fingers out of your core and standing up.
“I’m on birth control,” you tell him quickly, making him freeze. “And if we’re both clean-”
Johnny practically moans at the idea, looking down at your body. “Does my Tiny want to be filled up all nice and good?”
Now it’s your turn to groan, and you nod, licking your lips. You sit up next, feeling your skin heat at the words you want to say, “I also… I wanna suck you off first.”
Johnny approaches the bed again, towering over you. It’s hard to focus on his eyes when his abs and strong biceps and veiny forearms are drawing your attention, but when he cups your jaw it makes things easier. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”
“You pretty much stalked me for a week,” you tease, grinning.
Your Ghostie lets out a laugh. He doesn’t bother to check you on the word ‘stalking’ this time, even though he’s always been adamant that’s not what he was up to. It’s nice to have this little win, and as a reward for him biting his tongue, you reach out to undo his belt.
As the buckle unclasps and you move to his zipper, there’s a loud banging on the door.
Johnny looks over his shoulder and you can hear Hyuck screaming “Tequila!” 
The frat boy in front of you lifts his finger to his lips, a shushing motion, and then he reaches into his back pocket for his phone. You bet he’s going to text Hyuck some lie about not being in the room, but you’re too horny to slow down.
You get his jeans undone and you bundle your hands up in all the fabric, roughly tugging them down.
Johnny lets out a groan when his large cock slaps up against his abdomen, and he moves his phone to the side to give himself a better view, holding it with one hand while raising a brow at you.
You’re on your knees at the foot of the bed now while Johnny stands there, and you steady yourself, grabbing the base of his cock. With one last wink at Ghostie, you lean forward, kitten licking his length from balls to tip.
The man above you quickly types in the text, then tosses his phone to the side, his large hand coming down to cup your cheek. You take this as a sign to accept him into your mouth, so you do exactly that.
He’s so large and thick- you haven’t sucked cock in a while, and you’ve never sucked a cock as big as his. You know you can take your time, Johnny’s always been patient with you. 
You start by paying attention to the head, swirling your tongue around him and getting used to his size. Your eyes close, mind focused completely on your task. You’re already drooling from this, and you can feel your saliva dripping down his shaft. You smooth your thumb along the new trail of spit, helping lube your hand so you can begin to pump his cock.
“Fuck,” Johnny groans, tightening his grip in your hair.
You try to sink your mouth further onto his cock, but it’s difficult. He’s just so huge-
Your pussy throbs knowing that soon, this monster dick is going to be inside of you-
Without any lube that you’ve seen so far, you want to make him as slicked up as possible, and it helps that you’re drooling from how sexy all of this is.
His cock hits the back of your throat and you gag slightly, powering through the uncomfortable feeling as you glide your tongue along his shaft. You’re not a quitter.
“Holy fuck, Tiny-” Johnny praises you. “You don’t have to try to take more than you can handle-”
But you want to. You want to pleasure him the way he’s pleasured you, and his words only prompt you to suck harder, earning more groans from the man above you.
“You’re so good at this,” he continues his words of encouragement, and they do help you take him deeper. His voice is smooth, sexy, and thankfully not modulated in any way. 
You’ve never realized how nice John’s voice really is. 
You apply more pressure with your hand, pumping him faster-
“Okay, okay-” Johnny tugs gently on your hair, prompting you to pull off of his cock and blink up at him in confusion. “I have to fuck you now. I’m done waiting.” 
You let out a tiny mewl, nodding. 
Johnny kicks off his jeans completely, pressing a knee onto the bed. He leans down to kiss you, and then he’s grabbing your body. In one easy motion, he tosses you a few feet up the mattress, so your head can land against the pillows.
God, he makes you feel truly Tiny- it’s one of the sexiest things ever.
He takes his place between your legs next, lips finding yours. One of his hands cups your cheek, and the kiss deepens, his tongue invading your mouth while your arms wrap around his strong shoulders.
You can feel his cock sliding between your pussy lips, and it’s almost embarrassing how wet you are, how much drool you’ve left on him. 
“Please-” you whimper. You can’t wait another moment either, you have to know what he feels like. You reach your hand between your bodies, grabbing his cock so you can line him up with you properly. “Ghostie, I can’t-”
He kisses you, cutting you off. Something tells you Johnny understands, and the moment you have him properly situated, he begins to push into you.
You gasp against his lips, letting go of his cock so you can grab his shoulders. He’d worked you open with his fingers two times over, but nothing compares to this. You can feel your walls stretching to accommodate his impressive girth, and it leaves you practically brain-dead.
“Let me know if it’s too much,” Johnny tells you, lips moving to your throat so he can suck on your sweet spot while he continues to burry into your hot, wet core.
You wrap your legs tightly around his hips, closing your eyes while the feeling of him overtakes you. You’ve never moaned like this before, never felt anything like Johnny-
He groans loudly against your skin, gently thrusting, coating his cock in your juices to make things easier-
The moment his hips hit flush to yours, his full cock buried inside of you, you both gasp. Johnny grabs at your hands, interlocking your fingers and pinning them to the pillows on either side of your head.
“Fuck, you’re so big, you’re so-” You can’t even think, especially not when he takes another test thrust.
His cock drags against your inner walls and you cry out, body tingling. 
“You take me so well, Tiny,” he praises you, mouth still hot on your throat. “The perfect fit.” 
You can’t speak, not now, but you can squeeze his hands and tilt your head to the side, kissing his cheek. Johnny takes the cue to bring his lips back to yours, and you’re immediately lost in yet another breathtaking makeout session.
He’s moving slow, fucking into you at a gentle pace, allowing your body to get used to his massive size. 
But you’re feeling particularly desperate, and greedy. “More.” 
“More?” He laughs. “You sure about that?”
You nod, eager to be decimated by him. “Please, ruin me-”
Johnny groans, letting go of one of your hands so he can press his palm flat to the bed, giving himself more leverage. He begins to fuck you faster, and each meeting of his cock to your core has you whimpering like a whore in heat.
“You make the cutest fucking sounds,” Johnny breathes.
Only he - with his cock making you feral - would call your noises of pleasure cute.
He’s so stupidly endearing.
“Fuck, Tiny, you’re dripping- making this too fucking easy for me.” 
It’s absolutely embarrassing how wet you are. He’s gliding into you with no issues now, and each movement is like heaven. The head of his cock hits a spot deep in your stomach- you can’t help but reach down, pressing your palm to your abdomen-
You can feel him rearranging your guts, and you both groan when you apply a bit of pressure.
“Deep, huh?” Johnny lets out a moaned chuckle. 
“So deep-” you agree, words slightly garbled. 
“I’ve just started with you and you can hardly speak,” Johnny muses. “Wonder what’s gonna happen when I make you cum again.”
You cry out desperately, removing your hand from your stomach so you can claw at his hair, bringing his lips back to your own.
You’re tired of thinking- all you want to do is experience this, experience him, at your fullest- and boy, are you fucking full.
Johnny lets go of your other hand, reaching for your thigh. He adjusts it higher on his hip and suddenly he’s driving into you even deeper.
Your eyes roll into the back of your head and you gasp loudly against his lips. Johnny traces his tongue along your teeth, and you can feel him smirking.
You love that he’s enjoying this- enjoying watching you come completely undone for him.
“You know,” he says, “if you keep squeezing me like that, I’m not going to last long.”
You don’t even care. You know this isn’t the only time you’ll be fucking this man- and after cumming twice already, your body is near its limit of pleasure, if that’s even possible. In fact, there’s something very sexy about making a man cum quicker than he’s used to, and your pussy clenches at the thought. 
“Fuck,” Johnny groans again. “Can I flip you over?”
At this point, you’ll agree to any request, and you nod quickly, biting at your lip.
With one last kiss, Johnny pulls away from you. His cock slips out of your core and you whine at  the loss, only for his two large hands to grab your waist and manually turn you onto your stomach. Then he adjusts your hips, pulling you up into doggy position.
“If you need to scream, use the pillows,” Johnny warns you, lining up with your pussy again.
The first thrust has you doing exactly that. You bury your face into the pillow, letting out a loud cry as his cock hits deeper than before. 
This position might just kill you, but you don’t care.
His hands feel so good- so large and warm and steady on your hips as he finds an even rougher pace.
You can hear your ass smacking loudly against his front with each thrust and it only adds to your arousal. 
Bunching your hands up in his duvet, you do your best not to be so loud that the whole frat will hear you. But it’s so difficult not to just melt under him- 
You can feel your eyes welling with pleasure-fueled tears, and it drives you crazy.
“Fuck, you like this position, don’t you, pretty girl?”
“Yes, Ghostie!” you gasp, nodding while his cock continues to make you feel like absolute heaven.
“You look fucking perfect like this,” he tells you. “Face down, ass up. Pretty soon you’ll be begging for me to fill you up even more.”
His words flip a switch inside of you. “God, yes, please-” you cry out. “I want it so bad-”
“Want what?”
“Want your cum,” you whimper. “Wanna be so full-”
Johnny groans, grabbing rough fistfuls of your ass while he fucks you even harder. 
“I need it, Ghostie, I need it-” You’re crying now, and Johnny notices.
He bends over your back, bracing an arm across your chest so he can lift you onto your knees. He cups your jaw, thumb stroking through a tear track. “Holy shit, Tiny,” he moans, mouth hot against your shoulder. 
“Please, Ghostie, please-” you whimper, lower lip trembling-
You’re so close-
Johnny lets go of your jaw, and his hand slips down your front. You jolt when his fingers make contact with your clit, wriggling in his grasp.
“I’m almost there, Tiny,” he admits. “Watching you cum will tip me over the edge- you’ll be good and cum for me, right?”
All you can do is nod. Words are gone. Your mind is blank except for the pleasure that’s coursing through you.
Your noises are getting pitchier, and Johnny works you all the way to your peak. You gasp loudly as you topple over the edge, core clamping down hard on his cock.
Your legs feel like jelly, and Johnny releases you, allowing you to fall to the bed while your orgasm ravages your form. You’re clawing at the sheets, burying your face in his bed to muffle your screams-
His hands are bruising on your hips, and you hear him let out a loud groan. You can feel him filling you up, his motions faltering ever so slightly. His breath is hot against your shoulders and it’s added stimulus that makes you twitch, so completely overwhelmed that it almost feels like you’re about to black out.
But you don’t want to miss a second of this. His groans of pleasure keep you in the moment even as your mind is in a sex daze. 
Johnny rides you through your high, thrusts slowing until he comes to a stop behind you. 
You’re both breathing heavily now, and Johnny stays still for a moment, enjoying the last of your orgasm aftershocks. Then he flattens his chest to your back, hand falling to the bed next to  your own. 
“Holy shit,” he breathes. 
You can’t help but let out a small laugh, and it makes Johnny groan as your core clenches again.
He kisses your shoulder, lips oddly tender in comparison to the way he just blew your back out. 
“Ghostie-” you whimper, wanting to collapse on his bed from exhaustion. 
“Stay still, I’ll get something to clean you up,” he assures you, pressing one last kiss to your skin before straightening from your back. 
You miss his warmth as soon as he’s gone, and you especially miss his cock when it slides out of you. 
You feel him get off the bed, and a moment later, something begins to drip down your inner thighs. He really filled you up, and it makes you twitch. You reach a hand between your legs, cupping your core and rolling onto your back on his bed, trying to breathe properly.
Johnny is back a second later, and you can feel his gaze on you.
“Spread these thighs for me, Tiny,” he says gently, touching your knee. 
You open your eyes, and then you open your legs. 
Johnny moves your hand out of the way, letting out a groan. “You have no idea how fucking hot this is-” he tells you, wiping your core clean of his cum. 
You still don’t have it within yourself to speak, you can only watch him toss the tissue in the garbage before you’re making grabby hands at him.
Johnny laughs. He sits on the bed next to you, leaning against the headboard before scooping you into his lap. He’s so fucking big, and he makes you feel safe cuddled in his arms, your cheek pressed to his chest.
His heart is still racing, and it makes you feel better to know you’re not the only one who’s so affected by this.
Johnny’s fingers begin to thread through your hair, and he simply holds you while you come out of subspace. 
The party is still in full swing outside, and it’s an interesting feeling to have such a private moment with Johnny in the middle of a frat on Halloween. 
“Do you think anyone heard us?” you ask finally.
Johnny laughs. “Don’t worry about it,” he says soothingly. 
You pull away from his chest, looking up at him. His hand moves to cup your face and you press your lips to his. It’s a much gentler kiss than he’d given you mid-fuck, and it eases your racing heart. 
“Ghostie?”
“Yeah, Tiny?” 
“I like you a lot.”
He lets out another chuckle. “I like you too.”
“We’ll do this again sometime, right?”
“Of course, Tiny.” His hand smooths up and down your back. “I’d also like to take you on dates, if you’ll let me.”
“I’d like that,” you nod, relaxing against his chest again. “And… and when you call me, no more voice modulator.”
“No?”
“I like your voice, your real voice.” God, you’re feeling so soft and mushy for him.
“I like your voice too.” For a second, it’s a sweet moment, and then Johnny continues, “Liked listening to your whimpers.”
He’s such a frat boy, but you kind of love him for it. “Did you like my tears too?”
“Only if they’re for a good reason,” Johnny says. “If anyone else ever makes you cry, I’ll have to fuck them up.”
“My protective Ghostie,” you grin, leaning up to kiss the underside of his jaw.
“As much as I’d love to stay cuddling you forever, I should probably bring the boys some tequila,” Johnny sighs.
“The boys,” you echo. “I feel like I’ve just fucked Mark and Hyuck’s dad.”
“Do you have a daddy kink, Tiny?”
“For you, I have any kink you want,” you laugh. 
“I like the sound of that.”
“Just… kiss me again?” you ask. “We can bring tequila after.”
“Are you sure you want to come with? You can stay here and I’ll come back-”
“We should…” you lick your lips, “we should be social.”
“I just fucked your brains out and you want to go be social?” Johnny grins. “Maybe I didn’t work you over well enough.”
“You worked me over perfect,” you laugh, grabbing at his jaw so you can press your lips to his.
Johnny melts into the kiss, and there’s something in it that feels like coming home. You’ve never felt this safe with a guy before, and it’s kind of starting to scare you.
If you were to stay here- you think you might even fall in love with Johnny… that is, if you haven’t already.
You pull away from your Ghostie, letting out a sigh. 
Getting out of his lap isn’t fun, and your legs are wobbly as you stand next to the bed, but Johnny’s hands go to your hips to steady you.
When he stands, he towers over you, and you’re overcome by your thirst for him all over again. You wrap your arms around the back of his neck, bringing him in for another kiss. 
It’s so easy to get lost in making out with Johnny, but you have to tear yourself away, nodding, “Tequila.”
“Tequila,” he echoes. “Can you stand by yourself?”
“I’m okay,” you assure him, but it still hurts when he lets you go. 
Johnny pulls on some sweatpants while you find your dress-
“You’re not putting that back on,” Johnny tells you, moving to his closet. “Let me give you some clothes.”
“Are you trying to announce to Mark and Hyuck that we’ve fucked?” you laugh, accepting the large t-shirt he throws your way.
“Trust me, Tiny, they’ll know.”
“Yeah? How’s that?”
“After this, I won’t be able to keep my hands to myself, and something tells me you won’t be able to either.” Johnny pulls on a hoodie, grabbing the tequila and turning to you. “I know you, remember?” 
You grin, pulling on the pair of black boxer shorts he’d also sent your way. “Maybe a little too well.” 
“Or not well enough,” Johnny suggests, approaching you again.
“You’re such a sweet talker.”
“Only for you,” he smirks, leaning down to kiss you again. “You look cute in my clothes.”
“Do I look like I just got fucked senseless?”
“Definitely.” 
“Mark’s going to hate you,” you laugh.
“He’ll get over it,” Johnny brushes it off, reaching for your hand. “Ready to go?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” 
“You can still stay here if you want.”
“No, let’s face this now.” You need to be firm, need to get out of this love den before you find yourself even more loved up.
The two of you head to his door and Johnny holds it open for you. 
In the time you’ve been fucking, it looks like a lot of people have dispersed from the party, so walking through the hallway isn’t exactly a walk of shame. However, when you get down the stairs to Mark’s floor, you realize you still have to pull up your big girl panties to face him.
“I’m going to run to the bathroom,” you tell Johnny, “I’ll meet you in Mark’s.”
“You don’t want me to come with you?”
“To the bathroom?” you laugh. “I think I’m good.”
With one last kiss, you make your way to the frat bathroom at the end of the hall. It’s important to go pee after sex, for UTI reasons, your sorority big sister has drilled that into you since first year. When you’re done, you head to the sink, daring a look at yourself in the dirty mirror.
You look fucked, but you also look happy. 
In fact, you can’t stop smiling. 
After washing your hands, you dab some water on your throat, hoping it will calm you down. Once you feel good and ready, you exit the bathroom.
Mark’s door is open when you get to his room, and you poke your head inside. 
Jaehyun and Hyuck are on one bed, Mark and Johnny on the other, and they’re all lifting shots to their mouths. As you step inside, Mark’s gaze shifts to you. He takes in your new outfit and his eyes widen, then he spits out his shot, coughing loudly. 
Johnny’s hand finds Mark’s back while he practically coughs up a lung, and then Mark is leaping to his feet. “What-” His eyes dart between you and Johnny, and you can see the realization there. 
“Jesus, Mark, learn how to handle a shot,” Hyuck scoffs.
Mark doesn’t even entertain Hyuck, he simply turns to his big, pointing an accusatory finger at Johnny’s chest. “You’re Ghostie!?”
Johnny stands up. “You’re the one who gave me her number last year.”
“I what?!” Mark’s eyes are practically bulging out of his head now.
Hyuck and Jaehyun exchange a look, and Hyuck reaches for the tequila to pour another shot.
“Mark, it could be worse-” you say, trying to de-escalate the situation while stepping further into the room.
“How could it be worse!?” Mark bellows. “My Big is a stalker!”
“He’s not a stalker,” you defend Johnny, coming to join your tall new lover, your hand reaching for his.
“You’re her new boss!” Mark insists.
“Hyuck fucked our last bar manager,” Johnny points out.
“Guilty,” Hyuck smirks over the rim of his new shot.
Mark’s still not having any of this situation. “This is fucked up.”
“Mark, I’ve told you a million times, it’s spooky season.” You can’t help but giggle. This has been such a turn of events, but you wouldn’t want it any other way.
“You better not hurt her,” Mark says next, trying to meet Johnny’s gaze even while substantially shorter. 
“I won’t,” Johnny promises. 
“This is just-” Mark shakes his head. “Fuck this, I need to sleep.”
“We can move the party to my room,” Jaehyun says, already grabbing the bottle of tequila while Hyuck reaches for his bong.
It’s clear Mark’s done talking, and he collapses onto his bed face first like a tantruming toddler. You’ll discuss this with him another day, but you know now is probably not the time to push him to accept that his Big has a whole different side to him that Mark’s never seen. 
As you leave the room with Hyuck, Johnny and Jaehyun, Hyuck elbows you in the side. “I always knew you’d end up with one of us.”
“Yeah?” you laugh, gaze shifting to Johnny and Jaehyun who walk a few feet ahead of you.
“Once an NCT girl, always an NCT girl,” Hyuck nods. “And between us…” he leans closer, “Johnny is a good one.”
Your Ghostie looks over his shoulder at you, and you meet his gaze with a smile. “He is,” you agree. “Hey, John?”
“Yes, Tiny?” He stops at the door to the stairwell, holding it open and allowing you to catch up.
“I changed my mind, I think I am done with the party tonight.”
“Yeah?” Johnny smirks. “Gonna come back to my room?”
“If you invite me.”
“Tiny, my room has an open-door policy for you now.”
“Is that so?” you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips.
“Uh huh,” Johnny grins. “And free cuddles, anytime you want them.”
“I like the sound of that,” you confess. 
“Just get married already!” Hyuck shouts back at the two of you as he climbs the stairs with Jaehyun. 
You and Johnny can only laugh at Hyuck. Your willpower is completely gone, and you allow your Ghostie to take you back to his room. 
He cuddles you close as the party dies down outside, and you find yourself slipping into the best sleep of your life on Halloween night with your Ghostie by your side.
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☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! Halloween is my favourite Holiday, and there's something about Johnny and horror genre that makes me go feral
🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 
🔮 preview. There’s no way he should be this fucking sexy. You’re outside in the cold, parkas on, a Santa hat on his head, a joint between his lips,  both your jeans down to your knees, his hand over your mouth to stifle your moans, and he’s about to fuck you against a wall with his massive cock- you’ve decided that Johnny as a whole is simply illegal.
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, exhibitionism in an alley, weed use, slight temperature play, big dick Johnny, quickie, cum kink/filling panties with cum while at work, praise, dirty talk, size kink, hand over mouth silencing, choking, etc… I pet names: (hers) Tiny, pretty girl, good girl. (his) Ghostie.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.5k I teaser wc. 275
🌙 staring. Johnny x afab!reader
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bonus
You’ve been dating Johnny for a month and a half and you still can’t get enough of him. Whenever you pop over to the frat, it’s not long before one of you is dragging the other to his room. There’s never been sexual chemistry like there is for you and your Ghostie.
You’d never thought your biggest hurdle in the workplace would be refraining from jumping your bar manager, but here you are, every shift, practically drooling over him. Each brush of his hands across your body as he moves behind you to grab something makes you want to tear his clothes off, and your patience is at an all-time low. 
With Christmas fast approaching, the bar scene has substantially dwindled, and it’s making you even more needy. When Skeets only has a handful of customers, you fill drink orders while thinking about sucking on Johnny’s cock. 
It doesn’t help that he’s started wearing a Santa hat- why does it make him even sexier?
As Johnny smiles and makes casual conversation with a pair of girls sitting at the bar, you do your best to calm yourself. At the end of the night, you’ll be the one in Johnny’s bed, you just have to get to closing.
You notice in the periphery of your vision that the girls are finishing up with their drinks. Johnny excuses himself to grab the card reader, and as he slips past your ass, you feel his hard cock in his jeans. It’s difficult to stifle a moan, and you do so by biting on your lip. 
He loves teasing you, especially while you’re at work, and it drives you absolutely mental.
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the-thing-withfeathers · 5 months ago
Text
for the better
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a/n: this is part 2 to know your worth. i’m sorry this took a bit of time but i just wanted to get some requests done before fully getting into this buttt i hope y’all like it.
read part 1!
this one is for @dandelions4us specifically 🫵🏼🫵🏼
pairing: billie eilish x reader
warning: bold-italics are flashbacks. ex-toxic relationship, mention of therapy, toxic coping mechanisms, trauma.
summary: billie tumbles while you thrive. can you manage to find each other again through this all?
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
tick, tock. tick, tock. tick, tock.
the dreadful noise of the second hand going on a full rotation was filling billie’s ears. she was overwhelmed and she didn’t want to be here.
“you mentioned last time that you had a partner…” the woman sat on a leather chair started. she was older and was graying, she wore glasses that were too small for her face. “a partner that you had let down.”
“yeah… i really fucked up there.” billie chuckled dryly. “i was horrible during the end of that relationship. it was amazing at first but after touring, i… i became horrible.”
“why do you think you became horrible?” the woman asked.
billie didn’t want to start therapy but her brother had convinced her to do it. she hated talking things out with a total stranger. but she knew she had to take a step towards getting better one way or another.
“i… i don’t know.” billie sighed in defeat.
“do you think it had something to do with your job?” the woman asked again. this was getting ridiculous. billie felt like the woman knew all the answers but was just trying to get billie to say them, she felt like she was back in school.
“maybe?” billie asked herself. “i think when i got back from touring, i realised how serious things were getting— not just with my relationship but with everything around me. i think i just wanted to be less serious? but i didn’t go about it very well. i royally fucked up. i should have been honest— i think things would have gone so much better.”
“it seems like you have a pretty good idea about what you need to work on.” the woman pointed out, impressed. “it was a lot better than our past sessions where you were lost. it seems like you’re starting to get a better grip on yourself.” she nodded in approval.
“i dunno, i think the break i took from working has been really good to me.” billie smiled a bit, she had decided to stop making music for the time being. it wasn’t forever but it was just to give her time to recover.
“do you want to get back together?” the therapist asked, tilting her head.
“yes. more than anything.” billie nodded. “i miss the love that i used to come home to everyday.”
“you could always call.” the therapist suggested.
“i don’t think i’d get an answer.” she huffed.
“you never know if you don’t try.”
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
that’s how billie ended up at a cafe with her leg shaking under the table, waiting for you.
she hasn’t seen you in months. she heard about you from her friends, she tried not to ask but sometimes it would slip out. your friends reluctantly answered out of pity.
you walked into the cafe. her jaw nearly dropped at the sight of you. a smile tugged at her lips. you had cut your hair and your fashion sense had changed, you cleaned up well.
your eyes scanned the room for billie, a small smile forming when you saw her. she looked almost the same, except she dyed her hair.
you were hesitant to come today, but you had done enough self-growth that you were confident enough to face her again.
you made a beeline for her table, sitting down across from her.
billie thought she knew what to say but she was mesmerised by you. you looked good and healthy, and even more beautiful than she anticipated. she wasn’t prepared to have her breath taken away by you.
“hey.” you said, settling down and flashing a smile at her.
“hi.” she responded, clearing her throat.
“um… hey.” you chuckled, raising your eyebrows. “it’s good to see you.”
“yeah, you look good.” she said as the waiter brought her order over. you ordered something for yourself as well while she was there.
the way your eyes twinkled when talking to someone else, that was never there before. you were always more introverted but suddenly it was like you had all the confidence in the world.
she fell in love with you all over again.
you turned back to look at her after ordering, crossing your legs one over the other. you smiled at the look on her face.
“you look surprised.” you pointed out.
“i mean… a little? you’ve changed… in a good way.” she said, sipping at her coffee. “you seem… um… more—“
“out there?” you completed her thought. “well, yes. i kind of put myself to the test. i finally used my savings to travel over the past few months. i kind of had to fend for myself— that involved putting myself out there.” you explained what you had been up to. “all those work hours finally did me good.”
“that’s… that’s really nice.” she said, staring at her coffee on the table. “where did you go?”
“german, greece, rome—“
“rome? you’ve always wanted to go.”
“mmhm. and i finally did. and i finished up my trip in london. i saw some of our friends that we made when i visited you on tour.” you said, scooting over to make room for the waitress putting your order down.
“that’s good, i know they would have been glad to see you.”
you let silence fall over the table for a second as you took a bite of the biscuit at the side of your plate.
“why’d you call?” you asked, cutting to the chase. you thought that there was no point in the small talk when there was clearly something looming over billie.
“oh!” she didn’t expect you to ask so quickly.
“sorry, it just seems like there’s something you’re wanting to say.”
“yeah… i’m uh, i’m in therapy.” she said, leaning back in her seat. “and i just… we’ve been working on how i can explain myself to you. i feel like you deserve that.”
“i would be lying if i said i wasn’t curious, billie. about our relationship ending…” you said, sighing. “feels like i never got closure.”
“that’s fair! and i guess that’s what i wanted to give you.” she said. “i don’t know why i did what i did exactly, because i could have handled it so much better.”
you nodded in anticipation.
“i felt old.” billie sighed out.
you almost let out a laugh but instead let out a stifled chuckle.
“old?”
“old… yeah, it sounds so silly.”
“billie, you’re not even 25.” you scoffed a little bit in disbelief.
“i know! which is why it’s silly.” she said, a little bit defeated. “it was all too much for me when tour ended. i realised how much i had missed with everyone back home. everyone was going to parties and i was stuck working in the studio all the time. i think our relationship took the brunt of it, it was all getting so serious so i took it out on you.”
you furrowed your eyebrows. “serious?”
“yeah… i used to think our relationship getting more serious and committed meant i had to settle down and grow up. i wasn’t ready for that. but i realised i was wrong. our relationship was my safe place to land, coming home to you was the best part of my day.”
“i didn’t realise you felt that way. i wish you told me.” you huffed a little, crossing your arms. “i would have helped you… whatever it took.”
“i know, and that’s why i regret it so much.”
“i kept replaying that fight in my head when it was all so fresh… i just felt like i was fighting with a stranger.” you felt your heart ache upon reliving those memories. “i had some hope that maybe you’d come to your senses that day, that maybe me saying something would be enough for you.”
“i’m sorry that i didn’t. i was so stupid—“
“the worst part is that i never fell out of love with you for a second.” you confessed.
“what?” she asked, making sure she heard you right.
“i tried. i tried to hate you… believe me, i did. but i couldn’t.” you shook your head, finishing your coffee off.
“could we ever try again?” billie popped the question. she didn’t know what answer to expect from you. sure, you still loved her, but could you put yourself in that position again?
“i don’t know.” you said, truthfully. “it’s taking everything in me not to say yes, but i don’t know if i can do that to myself again. i think i’ve come too far.”
“then let me catch up to you.”
there she was. your billie.
you couldn’t hold back a laugh when you heard her say that.
“oh, billie. it’s good to have you back. it’s for the better.” you sighed through the smile that was plastered on your face. “well, how about this then?”
you took her phone that was sitting down on the table. she had reached out through a mutual friend but you didn’t have any other contact information.
“i’ll give you my number.”
thump. thump. thump
billie could hear her own heartbeat in her ears.
“i’ll give you my number.” you said. billie had just met you that night but she was captivated by you.
you had gotten a job working tech at her release party. she saw you backstage and couldn’t take her eyes off you for a second. the way you tried to make sure that everything was perfect for her.
you were a face in the background and yet you were at the forefront of her mind the entire night.
“and you can call me and tell me where to be.”
“and you can call me and tell me where to be.” you giggled, teasing her a little bit. you found it amusing that one of the biggest figures in the world was chasing after you after the show.
she was panting a little bit, she definitely ran after you. her hands were on her knees for just a second while she introduced herself, trying to catch her breath.
you were on your way to your car, your bag already on your shoulder. she couldn’t let you leave without shooting her shot.
you handed her phone back to her.
you handed her phone back to her. she took it back in her hand and immediately pressed dial, you were still in front of her.
she pressed dial.
you rolled your eyes and picked up the phone, holding it up to your ear.
“tomorrow. dinner… at my place?” she said with a cheeky smile on her face.
“tomorrow. dinner… at my place?”
“sure. i’ll be there.”
“sure. i’ll be there.”
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
a/n: heyyy y’all i hope the switching between flashbacks & current time wasn’t too confusing. but i hope u enjoyed part 2 <33 much love mwah mwah
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steddielations · 10 months ago
Text
- nsfw, age gap, rockstar Eddie, drummer steve
Eddie should not be wearing a plug here.
It’s stupid. It’s reckless. But that inner voice that led to decades of being stupid and reckless says it’s fine, it’s just for Eddie. Steve doesn’t have to know, unless he wants to find out.
It really is just for Eddie. It’s more for confidence than kink. It’s a trick he learned back when he was still getting comfortable on stage, back when he could still handle the fast life. Started way back when he was a teenager, dear old dad made sure to turn his talent into cold hard cash.
Now here Eddie is, way too many years of coping with drugs and never any therapy later, retired rockstar doing the whole studio owner mentoring baby rockstars thing. Someone’s gotta keep rock and roll alive so long as Eddie’s still kicking.
So the first thing that comes with years of being stone cold sober is realizing he spent too much time on the road and in the closet, not enough time growing roots so he’d have someone to settle down with when he stopped being so afraid of it.
The second thing is a dick that doesn’t work half the time because maybe if someone told him doing drugs would land him limp-dick at 40, he would’ve stopped sooner. The third thing is that he’s going to die alone with his floppy dick and trust issues.
So with the wild life Eddie lives nowadays, it’s no surprise that a couple smiles and smooth words from a good looking young drummer sent him into a spiral.
Steve’s a session musician, an independent guy that looked good on paper and even better in person. He’s got more heart and grit than the last few ‘frontmans’ Eddie tried to get something real out of. Steve knows it too, the way everyone does at 28.
He’s got the same cockiness in his skills as Eddie, but he knows he’s more than just his skills in a way that Eddie wishes he could’ve known at that age. He’s confident enough to make his own suggestions to Eddie, calls him old fashioned and he’s smooth about it, strikes up debates about music and he’s fucking sassy about it.
Eddie’s gotta be under some kinda spell to be considering Springsteen is one of the greats like Steve insists.
It’s not just because Steve’s younger, there’s always been girls much younger than late 20s trying to get with him for his name, status, money. Bless their hearts, maybe if he was still 20 years deep in the closet. It’s not just because Steve’s a guy either, there’s plenty of young guys now that dare to bat their eyes and call him Daddy and want to get fucked.
No, it’s because Steve’s different. The opposite, even.
Eddie slips up and calls him sweetheart once and it’s like Steve was just waiting to open that door and let every babe and handsome and honey slip out from his lips.
He notices Eddie checking out his biceps as he’s banging away on the drums once and sends him a wink that nearly makes him flatline.
He’s not intimidated to get in Eddie’s space. He has no reason to ever be in the control room, but Eddie doesn’t question it when Steve’s close, leaning over him with a warm hand pressed to the small of his back for one second. Eddie’s so hot faced and flustered that he gets his long hair caught in some of the board switches.
“Fuck, fucking, god damn it,” Eddie curses, tangling it even more trying to yank it free and vowing to chop it all off later.
“It’s alright, here, let's get you sorted out.” Steve’s steady hand closes over Eddie’s, gentle and warm as he eases the lock of hair free. Eddie’s breath lodges in his throat when Steve reaches up, fingers brushing Eddie’s face as he combs through his long silver streaked waves and says, “Don’t ever cut your hair. I love it too much.”
God. Steve makes Eddie feel like he’s a pretty young thing getting moves put on him in the kinda club that he was always too famous, too busy and too afraid to go to at that age.
It can’t be real. Steve can’t be serious. Eddie’s mean. Bitter. He talks shit about everyone and everything. He’s nothing without a guitar. He’s got the prickly rind of daddy issues and doesn’t even have Wayne to make it better anymore. The whole world adoring him all his life only fed his ego. He’s worth millions of dollars and feels like nothing most days. His only real friends are his bandmates that he doesn’t call often enough because they love each other, but they’re sick of each other, being stuck together all those years.
Surely, Steve’s just bored and playing with him. Eddie needs a kick of confidence to deal with it until Steve’s contract ends and he’s done playing with Eddie.
So that’s why Eddie’s got a plug up his ass at the studio. At work, technically.
It helps. It gives him all the inner fire he needs to ignore when he feels Steve’s eyes burning into him, and push his hand through his hair that Steve loves, and sway his hips as Steve’s gaze follows him walking out to the bathroom.
Oh yeah, Eddie’s still got it.
And he has to piss. Really bad. His bladder just ain’t what it used to be and when he’s gotta go, he’s gotta go and for whatever reason, he can’t do it with the plug inside him.
Eddie’s locked in a stall so he doesn’t hesitate to undo his belt and reach inside to pull it out. He holds it while he uses the toilet, so distracted sighing in relief like such an old man that he doesn’t realize how lube-slippery the thing is.
It’s too late. He drops his plug and it rolls out from under the stall just as the bathroom door opens and shuts slowly.
Then Eddie feels both relief and panic when it’s Steve’s voice that asks, “Eddie, did you drop something, honey?”
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elihermit · 4 months ago
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Evan Buckley x female reader
His girlfriend gets into a car crash and he has to try and save her, he goes to the hospital with her and waits by her bedside for her to wake up. She ends up being paralysed from the waist down and when she wakes up and finds out she struggles to cope with it, she has physical therapy to try to regain her strength but she gets upset so buck tries to comfort her and helps her through it, when they get out of hospital he knows this is their new normal and he is positive and tries to support her. Please include lots of angst and fluff 🥹🫶 thank you xx
eternal sunshine
pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley x fem!reader
summary: After a serious car crash, your lower body is paralyzed. You find it very hard to cope with, but Buck is not going to give up on you. Can you accept it?
word count: 2,4k
author’s note: thanks to an anon for this request, that’s a very special fic indeed, I hope you like it!
p.s. requests are open🫧
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“(Y/N), I need you to stay awake. Please try for me, darling.” — you can hear Hen's voice, but it sounds like an echo. It's hard for you to stay conscious, you're gathering all your strength not to fall asleep, even though it sounds very tempting.
“Hen, I don’t feel my legs.” — panic rises in your throat, you feel sick. “Where’s Buck?”
Buck didn't have a shift today, but you were glad that familiar faces came to your rescue. You could trust them and not be afraid if something went wrong.
“We already called him, (Y/N), he’s on his way.” — at the same time, they took you out of that damn car and put you on a stretcher. You still couldn't feel your legs, but honestly, you couldn't feel your whole body. You were so afraid that fear paralyzed you. It’s probably normal.
You were carried to the ambulance, you felt that a couple more minutes and you would pass out. But you need to at least wait for Buck, he'll be so worried if he finds you unconscious.
“(Y/N)!” — you heard Buck's worried voice and felt his touch on your arm. He made it.
“Hey baby, I’m oka-“ — you couldn't finish the sentence, fatigue and fear took over and you blacked out.
You open your eyes already in the hospital. The bright light blinds your eyes and makes your head hurt even more. You didn't know how long you were lying like that, but your body was very numb.
“Hi, my love, welcome back.” — you hear Buck’s voice and turn your head in his direction. He's smiling at you, but his red and puffy eyes said he was crying.
You smile back at him and take his hand. You're just glad that it's finally over and you can recover. You close your eyes for a couple of seconds and exhale. You got out of this alive.
You open your eyes and the smile leaves your lips. You try to move your legs, but nothing works, you don't feel the whole lower part of your body. Panic engulfs your lungs and you start breathing faster.
“Buck, I can’t move my legs.” — your voice breaks and tears fill your eyes. You knew it was a bad sign when you were still at the scene of the accident.
“Shh, baby, you’re fine, breathe with me.” — Buck looks at you with a smile and tries to calm you down.
“I don’t need to breathe, tell me what’s going on.”
He looks at you and goes silent. He had hundreds of scenarios in his head about how he would tell you about it, but seeing how scared and confused you are, he just can't pronounce these words. He doesn't want to disappoint you.
But you didn't need to hear any words, everything was written on his face and it hurt more than any physical pain. A cry came out of your mouth. A terrible cry that turned into a scream. All the pain and all the resentment against yourself for getting in the car that damn day was reflected in this crying. Your whole body was shaking from how much you were crying. You were screaming. Buck pulled you into his arms and just held you. He's never seen you so lost and devastated, but he kept saying you weren't alone.
“Buck, what am I going to do? What are we going to do?” — you were able to tell between sobs.
You felt like you were suffocating and it was all becoming hysterical. Nothing will be the same as before. You'll be a burden, you won't be able to give Buck what you could have given him if you hadn't been paralyzed. Your life will be limited.
“We’re gonna fight, baby. And we will go through this as we have gone through all the difficulties before, okay?” — you shook your head in disagreement and turned away from him.
You can't look into Buck's eyes. You cannot accept that you will change not only your life, but also his. You would like to say that you are ready to fight, but you are not. You weren't ready for this and you don't know when you'll be ready.
“Hey. Hey, look at me.” — he spoke softly and gently turned your head so that you could look at him. “Our best solution is physical therapy. You have every chance to gain your strength and get back on your feet. I've already talked to the doctors, just trust me.”
“But it can take years. I don't want you to waste your years like this.” — it's true, you'd rather let him go than drag him along, you'll be completely dependent on him.
“My years will be wasted if you're not by my side. Not for one second did I think to leave you in this. This is our fight.” — Buck reaches for your lips and leaves the most tender kiss. There is so much care and love in this kiss that you have no choice but to believe him.
4 months later
Your life consists of a hospital and constant physical therapy sessions. You're tired and exhausted, but you've never been the type to give up quickly.
When you felt that you were going off the path and starting to move in the opposite direction, Buck was there to take your hand and put you back on the right path. He was always smiling, supportive, and proud of your little victories more than you are. For you, these were not victories, but reminders that there is still a lot of work ahead.
Today was another physical therapy session and you finally convinced Buck that you'd be fine without him. He did not miss a single session and because of this he could take fewer shifts at work. You knew that he loves his job and that's literally what energizes him better than any coffee, so today you sent him to work.
But Maddie was with you today, Buck couldn't leave you all alone, even though the doctors at the hospital became your family.
Everything was going well, you did the usual exercises, your therapist gave you a massage of the lower extremities between exercises, then you switched to special simulators.
“Look how good you’re doing, your progress is wonderful.” — you heard Maddie behind your back and froze.
It triggered something inside you. All 4 months you tried to be strong, not to show how desperate you are on dark evenings. You didn't want to be pitied, you wanted to be treated without much distinction.
But everyone behaved around you as if you needed to be coddled. They think they're helping you, but it just reminds you of your condition every time.
And you don't see any fucking progress. What are you doing that is so amazing? You don't run, you don't dance, you don't even walk, you just take little clumsy steps. How dare they call it progress.
“Okay, that’s all for today.” — you still had 20 minutes of the session left, but you didn't feel like finishing it.
“Why? Are you in any pain?” — your therapist asked with a concerned look and stood in front of you.
“No, I just don’t want to do it anymore, so don’t push me.” — you said it and clenched your jaw. You could feel anger filling your body and you wanted to get back to your room before you started snapping at everyone.
You heard the door open and saw Buck. What the hell is he doing here? He's supposed to be at work, but instead he's back here and he's going to babysit you.
“How’s my baby doing?” — Buck squatted down to be on the same level with you and gave you the sweetest smile.
“What are you doing here?”
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You were so annoyed that you needed to calm down. The last thing you wanted to do was take all your anger out on Buck. He doesn't deserve it, he's the only one who didn't treat you very differently when you got paralyzed.
“I canceled my shift because I couldn't miss your session. I know you said you'd be fine, but I just couldn't.” — he took your hand, kissed your knuckles and looked at you with a loving look.
“We've already finished, help me get to my room.”
When you got to your room, Buck helped you get on the bed. You loved having Buck with you in the evenings because he filled you with that sense of security and confidence. When he had night shifts, it was the most depressing time of your day because you were alone with your thoughts.
“So why did you finish earlier today? I thought you still had 20 minutes of your session when I came.” — lying down on the bed next to you, Buck asked you.
“I didn’t feel like continuing.” — you put your head on his chest and started drawing with your fingers some random stuff on his arm. You always did this when you had a lot of thoughts in your head, but you couldn't formulate them into sentences in any way.
“Why baby? Is something bothering you? You know you can always tell me.” — he’s so sweet, that’s why you don’t deserve him.
“A lot is bothering me, Buck. The expressions on people's faces when they come to me, how everyone tells me about progress and how I've been your burden for 4 months, but you can't admit it.”
You felt tears forming in your eyes. Anger was replaced by sadness, which tore you apart from the inside. It's a feeling of helplessness and complete lack of interest in this fight. You wanted to give up everything, to be alone so that no one else would waste their time on you.
“I can’t admit something that isn’t true, (Y/N). You survived and it's not a burden, but a blessing. I thank the universe for every day with you.” — he pulled you closer to him. How he would like to take away all the pain that's inside you. Buck knew what was going on in your head, so he was always there to reassure you.
“Sometimes I think it would be better if I died than to drag you through something you don't have to go through.” — you whispered it so quietly that you didn't know if Buck had heard. You weren't even sure that you heard your own voice.
Buck's heart broke at those words. You've never been so vulnerable with him, usually you go through even the most difficult events with a big smile and an open heart. But this accident took away a piece of you. You were once cheerful, but now you are completely broken.
“I didn't doubt us for a second. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone else, it's always been you.” — Buck put his fingers under your chin and lifted your head so you could look at him. “I know that you don't see progress and it's hard for you to accept that it's moving so slowly. Do you know why you don't see progress? Because every day you are in your body and you don't see yourself from the outside. But I see you. And I see all your efforts and you're doing such a good job, baby.”
“It doesn't feel like enough.”
“But you’re enough in every fucking way. I still see those (y/e/c) eyes that I fell in love with, I still see that smile that immediately makes my day better and I still see that woman I want to call my wife one day.” — Buck kisses your forehead.
“Even when I’m like this?” — you don't know why you're still doubting it, you don't want to lose Buck, but you need these words from him to be sure that you're not dragging him down and he really wants it.
“Like what? An absolutely normal human being? Nothing changed for me and my feelings are still the same too.” — you kiss him. For the first time in 4 months, you felt normal and you fucking loved it.
“Now baby, we will be home in a week, I’m sure familiar walls are going to make you feel better.” — and he kissed you one more time.
A week later, you were at home, your therapist said that you were ready for this and now you will travel to sessions from your home. You don’t need to live in a hospital now. Honestly, you were excited, you were homesick, and you wanted to be in an environment that always made you feel comfortable and safe.
Buck opened the doors to your shared house and said with a smirk:
“Welcome back, babygirl.”
The next thing you saw were your friends, who were joyfully welcoming you back.
“Here’s my girl, finally I will be able to come here on my days off and talk with a smart person.” — Hen had a big smile on her face and hugged you tightly.
“Ouch, I thought I was your one and only, Hen.” — Chim put his hand over his heart as if he had been stabbed. “But seriously, Jee missed her Aunt (Y/N), she’s excited to be babysitted by her favorite person.”
You loved this little girl, so you were always happy to spend time with her when Chim and Maddie were busy.
“Yeah, honestly, I will be back tomorrow, we need to bring back our barbecue parties, I'm craving your signature ribs.” — Eddie made the chef’s kiss.
“I thought I was making the best food, but Eddie hasn't stopped talking about these ribs for 4 months.” — Bobby laughed and came up to you. “Welcome back, (Y/N), we missed you.” — he gave you that fatherly hug that you loved so much.
You looked at Buck and for the first time smiled so sincerely that your cheeks started to hurt. You knew that the path would be long and difficult, but you will definitely cope with it next to your loved ones. A lot has changed, but at the same time nothing has changed, you can still enjoy all the joys that have become a part of you with each of your friends.
Buck came up to you and kissed you. Tears of joy poured from your eyes, right now you realize that you have the strength to cope with these and your relationship with Buck has become even stronger and more sensual.
“I think I can get used to this.” — you said into Buck’s lips. “I love you, thank you for being by my side.”
“Forever and always, I love you.”
One more kiss and this is your new normal.
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whor-ror-forever · 2 months ago
Text
That Bastard - Curly/Reader
Rating: Explicit
Words: 839
Tags: post-crash, personality changes, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, cumming in clothing
Summary: Curly hadn't been the same since being rescued, but his strange new personality made your heart race. Somehow, you found yourself in your room with him, alone.
Read on Ao3
He used to be the captain, but he wasn’t at the moment. However, he wanted back in the captain’s chair, he wanted the authority and the power, surely.  You had never quite trusted him. His attitude rubbed you the wrong way, he seemed like he was always hiding something behind his happy smile and cheerfulness. 
When you got the news that he had been found, stuffed in an escape pod and pushed out into space, your heart sank to hell. Anya was on that ship, where was she? Curly was the only survivor, and he was barely alive. Your friend was gone, and for several months, Curly couldn’t even speak and let you know what happened. 
After many grueling surgeries, agonizing physical therapy, and sessions with a shrink, Curly was finally, at least sort of, back at it. He had prosthetic limbs made with the highest quality tech, and wore bandage-like wrappings all over his body. There was so much damage, skin grafts wouldn’t cut it. He also sported a white eyepatch, making his remaining eye all the more bright.
And now, he was sitting on your bed next to you, metal hand on your thigh. Despite seeing the psych, his mind was changed. He no longer smiled, no longer cracked jokes. He was serious, stern, always watching his surroundings as if there was a predator waiting in the shadows. Sometimes he laughed, but it was a dry, dark laugh, like he had just gotten away with a crime. 
“It was hell in that escape pod,” he said, putting his face next to your ear. You couldn’t feel his breath since he had bandages wrapped around his lipless mouth. 
“Three days is a very long time when you’re in extreme pain. I would scream, pass out, wake up, and scream some more. I had no pills, and even if I did, I couldn’t have fed them to myself,” Curly whispered.
His voice was different on account of the damage to his throat and vocal cords. It was deep and hoarse and full of gravel. It turned you on, and so did his new dominate personality.
“You think I look like a monster,” he said, a statement, not a question.
“No, no I don’t. You look different of course, but you’re still Curly,” you said. It was a lie, Curly was no more, the man who escaped the ship wasn’t him. 
He hummed. “Then why are you hesitant?”
You swallowed the saliva that had been building up in your mouth. “You have authority over me.”
“Not anymore, I’m not a captain.”
“I still see you that way,” you said.
“Then it’s wrong, so what?” He answered. 
Curly put his hand in your hair, stroking it. “I wish I could smell you.”
You squeezed your thighs together, heat forming between them. You had always liked Curly, most of the women did, he was a heartthrob space captain after all. But this new Curly, he wasn’t a heartthrob, but he was alluring and frightening, and he got you wetter than a pretty boy could. 
“Spread your legs,” he said, a command. 
You leaned back a bit and opened up for him. His metal fingers caressed your clothed cunt, a wet spot already showing.
“Dirty girl, just filthy,” he cooed in your ear.
His hand slipped into your pants and his cold fingers found your heat. He started to rub your clit, then sneaked down to your soaked entrance, spreading your folds. 
“Do you want me…want me to take t-them off?” You stuttered.
“No,” Curly said. “I want you to ruin them.”
Your hips bucked as he shoved two digits inside you. You grabbed onto his shoulders, digging your fingers in. Then you realized, were you hurting him? You removed your hands. 
“It’s alright,” he said. “Put them back.”
You did so, continuing to ride his hand. His fingers scissored you open while his palm rubbed your aching bud, filling you with warmth and making your stomach tighten. 
“I thought about you, up there, in the escape pod. When I wasn’t suffering, I was fantasizing, imagining myself with you.”
You threw back your head and closed your eyes. You knew he was full of shit, he just wanted to fuck you. You didn’t care, though, you wanted him to, but, could he?
Curly increased his speed, ramming his fingers into your sweet spot, making a “come here” motion. It was too good, you were going to go over the edge any moment. 
“Cum on my hand,” he ordered.
“F-Fuck…” you gasped, and flooded your panties with your arousal. 
Your moans filled the room, and your cum coated Curly’s prosthetic. He stared at you, brows furrowed. 
“Pathetic, aren’t ya?”
He stood and walked to the door. “I know you’re curious - yes, it’s scarred but intact. Remember that for next time, slut.”
He left. You sat on your bed, panting and already feeling uncomfortable from your sticky undergarments. He was a bastard, would you actually let him fuck you later on?
Yes, you would.  
218 notes · View notes
yoonieper · 7 months ago
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For the Birds— Part 1 | JJK
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I want you to stay even though you don’t want me.
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♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (feat. Yuri) 
♡ Genre: angst, smut, future fluff
♡ Rated: A for Analyze 
♡ Series Warnings: Lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation!
♡ Chapter Warnings: Therapy sessions (major wee woo!), Jk has nsfw thoughts, verbal abuse, Jk has a panic attack, lots of tears, beware friends ⚠️!
♡ Word Count: 19.8k
♡ Summary: As the son of the CEO at Golden Tech, a marriage was arranged in the name of business. Jungkook really tried to make the most of his situation and be the best husband he could be, but no matter how much he tried, his wife just doesn’t seem to want him. Then you… you came into his life and his eyes couldn’t help but wander.
♡ Now Playing: Call Out My Name by The Weeknd— see masterlist for full playlist!  
♡ Betas: Thank you so much to @illyrian-book-lover and @teawithhoneyandlemon for reading this part for me! If you’re interested in betaing a future part, dm me! If you're interested in becoming a permanent beta for this series please first click here and refer to 'details about the job' section for more details and dm for any questions you might have! 
♡ Author’s Note: Prepare my friends for the emotional journey ahead! This road is long so get ready for all the ups and downs :’)  
No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much : D
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previous chapter « main masterlist ✩ series masterlist » next chapter
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A year and a half later…
Jungkook looked down at his watch, his leg bounced restlessly as he stared at the long, thin hand circle around the clock. Every sound in the waiting room felt like he was hearing a pin drop in the world’s quietest room. The smallest noises sounded like an explosion to his sensitive ears, and just made him more on edge: the secretary typing away on her keyboard, the water circulating in the fish tank beside him, the shuffling behind the door— he could have pulled out his hair at how tense his body felt. 
Jungkook swiftly twisted the golden band around his ring finger as the seconds ticked away. He had been waiting here for the past twenty minutes and he’d started to regret coming so early. He thought being here would help him calm down, but it seemed to make things worse as his eyes trained on the door. 
People might think Jungkook was minutes away from walking to his execution with how nervous he was about this upcoming appointment. Jimin had even said he looked like a ghost before he left work earlier. His fear was completely irrational, he knew that, but it was forcing him to come face to face with something that would keep him up at night.
Being analyzed.
There was no way to describe it other than it was as if someone was staring at him from across the room. They thought he didn’t notice, but he could see behind their eyes they had put him under a microscope, and were trying to peel back all the layers of his psyche that he didn’t know even existed. He could feel their judgmental gaze, and under their watch, he grew more self-conscious about every molecule that made up his being. On most occasions, Jungkook at least could hope it was all in his head, but today, he was walking straight into this nightmare.
Therapy was strange like that.
“Jeon Jungkook?” A soft, but deep voice called out, making him nearly jump out of his chair. Jungkook looked over and was shocked to see someone standing beside him. It was the same man from the website. 
He was dressed in a nice, black suit and wore a serious expression; he had sharp eyes, longer hair, and square glasses that rested on the bridge of his nose. But the man still managed to radiate kindness with the pleasant contrast of his soft smile and delicate features. Standing up, Jungkook also realized the man was a couple of centimeters shorter than him, he needed to look up to meet his gaze.
Seeing him in person for some reason had him steadily beginning to feel more at ease.
The man smiled at him before guiding Jungkook into his office. It was a nice-sized room, decorated with modern, monochrome furniture, but it maintained its cozy feel with all the soft pillows and a blanket draped across the couch. A giant window overlooked Seoul’s emerging nightlife, a view not so different from what he was greeted with in his own office. Everything about this room helped the nerves he had been battling with all day begin to settle down.
This is for the better, things are finally going to get better— Jungkook kept telling himself as he sat down on the couch. The man took a seat in the big chair in front of him after having gone to his desk to retrieve a simple, yellow-lined notepad.
This was really happening.
“Alright. It’s nice to meet you Jungkook, I’m Dr. Min Yoongi. The time right now is 7:21pm, on April 4th, year 2023.” The doctor said, glancing down at his watch, writing something on the notepad, before returning his gaze back up to Jungkook. “As you should know, I’m a licensed couples therapist and I’m here to help you in whatever might be troubling you in your relationship. This will be our intake interview, and as you were told before, I will meet with you and your wife separately before we begin having our sessions together.” All of this was stuff Jungkook knew about, he had a feeling this was more so a reminder and for whatever record the doctor kept. 
Dr. Min quickly scribbled something on his notepad again before looking up at him. He hadn’t even said anything yet, what could he possibly be writing? 
“Alright Jungkook, I just wanted to ask if you had any questions for me or any concerns you wanted to discuss before we start?” Dr. Min eventually asked.
Jungkook tried to snap himself out of his anxious daze by shaking his head. “There’s nothing I can think of, I’m just a little nervous, I’m sorry.” He could hear it in his voice, the unmistakable shakiness to his tone, he was sure the doctor noticed. 
“You’re nervous?” Dr. Min smiled. 
Jungkook nodded, knowing it was impossible to hide it. 
“Therapy… this is new for me.” Jungkook laughed lightly, but it was a big deal for him to be here. 
Jimin had been the main one to encourage him to seek professional help. After the suggestion, Jungkook had absentmindedly brought it up to his parents when he went over to their house for dinner. They had laughed in his face at the mention of it.
“Your marriage is fine, why waste money on something like that?” His father had snickered as he ate his caviar. 
“The only issue you both have is that I don’t have any grandkids yet.” His mother quickly added, and his father joined in because that was the only thing they ever seemed to talk about when Jungkook visited. 
Therapy wasn’t necessarily a new thing he’d considered doing. It had been brought to his attention when he was in high school. After his brother left, he was faced with the daunting new responsibility of being the one who was going to take over the company one day. As much as he was excited for the opportunity, he was also absolutely terrified with all the extra pressure suddenly on his shoulders.
A friend had suggested for him to talk to a professional after he had done so himself and raved about how much it helped him. When he brought it up to his parents, much like now, they laughed and instead told him he should just talk to them about any worries he had. 
He listened to them back then, but after a particularly nasty fight with Yuri, Jungkook was looking for answers, and the only place he might get real advice was from a professional. That very day he looked for couples therapists and booked with Dr. Min, hoping it might finally bring the change he’s been wanting for years. 
“I understand, therapy can be a little intimidating for some. Tell me Jungkook, what are you hoping to accomplish out of our sessions together?” Dr. Min asked, still maintaining that friendly gaze that made it seem so easy to spill all his worries. 
Jungkook let out a sigh of relief knowing this was an easy question for him to answer. 
“I just want to know what I’m doing wrong… I know it’s my fault and…” as he spoke, he could already feel the tears stinging his eyes. “I want professional advice because I know I messed up, and I just want things to get better between me and my wife.” Jungkook was practically pleading for help. 
Things had to get better. 
Dr. Min tried his best not to let it show how shocked he was at the amount of blame Jungkook was putting on himself already. Most of the clients who come in usually talk primarily about what their partner was doing wrong in their eyes, or put most, if not all of the blame on the issues in their marriage on their unknowing spouse. It would usually take many sessions to even scratch the surface of the issues that they might contribute to. He’s seen that extreme end far more often than what Jungkook posed. It immediately painted a strange impression in his mind of the dynamic between the couple. 
“Why do you think it’s all your fault?” He asked. 
“I mean… it must be, right? I feel like my wife hates me and…” Jungkook sighed knowing he would finally need to get to that significant detail “—because we’re in an arranged marriage I’ve been trying my hardest— or what I thought was my hardest— to make our situation work, but nothing I’m doing is helping our relationship get any better.” 
He really didn’t like to tell people that Yuri and him were arranged. Most people thought they were just two young people who found love early in life, a blazing flame that pushed the couple to be bold and take that next big step so quickly into their lives. Only their families and the people who attended their wedding knew that their marriage was nothing more than a business deal. 
All of this was laid down a little quickly for Dr. Min. He knew with this being a high-profile client, the fact that Jungkook was coming to him meant there was something serious going on with the marriage. Most high-profiles like to keep the issues of their relationships as private as possible, seeking outside help was quite uncommon unfortunately. He’s certainly never handled an arranged marriage before, and that fact was going to make most of his usual techniques useless. 
Jungkook could tell by the look on the doctor’s face that this probably wasn’t what he was expecting, but he wanted to have faith in the man. Dr. Min was known as one of the best in the country for a reason, hopefully he could help no matter the circumstances. 
“Well, I’m not going to blame you. Relationships require both parties to make work, but it’s great that you’re stepping out and trying therapy. Who knows what we might uncover in our sessions together that could help you both in the long run?” Dr. Min gave a reassuring smile to the younger man and he was happy to see Jungkook ease up a little more. 
“Anyway, let’s just get into some general questions to help guide us through this session. Why don’t you tell me about your marriage? I mean, just looking at your file you’re a little young to be married. How long have you and your wife been together?” It was a standard preliminary question, but in this case was extra vital to obtain. 
“Three years— We just celebrated our anniversary on the 21st last month.” Jungkook mentioned. Yoongi tried not to look too surprised but he was seven years older than him, and he and his wife were just about to celebrate their fourth anniversary in June.
“March 21st, 2020?” Dr. Min reiterated and Jungkook steadily nodded. 
That was only a little less than a year after him and his wife had gotten married, and Jungkook was only twenty-five? This was extremely uncommon here in Korea— the only clients he’s seen come in around that age were couples asking for simple advice on how to make their relationship work in the long run; even those instances were rare. More often than not, most couples don’t typically invest in therapy because of the unfortunate financial cost. Yoongi was most of the time helping out married couples or fiancés who had a bit more at stake if the relationship were to go south. 
Jungkook hadn’t even met the average age at which couples tend to get married, he was still far from it— being twenty-five he was four years behind the overall average and six for men in South Korea. And that was based on his age now. When he first got married it was seven and nine. Finding out he was arranged, the situation made a lot more sense than when he was just reviewing his file.
Yoongi had wondered if Jungkook potentially filled out some wrong information when he looked over his forms before the appointment started. While he was relieved that wasn’t the case, the reality was a bit more concerning. 
“Yeah, it was a few weeks after my commencement.” Jungkook added.
Yoongi couldn’t help but question why the parents would allow this to happen. He grew more and more baffled the longer Jungkook spoke, but now was not the time nor the place to be judgmental. 
“How did you feel about getting married that young?” Dr. Min inquired further. 
Jungkook sat back and grabbed the pillow beside him. He was a little unsure at first how to answer that question. It was something he used to ponder a lot when he first got married— twenty-two years old and already tied down—  it sounded unreal to anyone he talked to. He never really got the chance to experience much before he had to “settle down.” Jungkook used to think about this a lot at the start. However, as time passed, he tried to focus more on saving the marriage he ruined, rather than mourning what he missed out on because he was arranged.
“I had a plan for myself before my parents told me I was going to get married. I had everything thought out for when I graduated college and getting married pretty much caused my whole plan to derail… I don’t want to speak for Yuri, but I feel like our engagement probably hit me harder.” Jungkook said, looking away into the distance. 
“What makes you say that?” Dr. Min questioned. 
Jungkook sat back on the cozy couch as he thought back to it. “I had this dreamy expectation of what being married would be like. Yuri and I hardly knew each other before they told us we were getting married so I had a lot of doubts if anything could ever come out of our relationship.”
He had pictured love at his wedding, yet he didn’t even know his wife’s favorite color as she walked down the aisle.  
“I knew it wouldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows, that there would be hurdles we’d need to overcome, even more than your typical relationship. It was scary and I was so worried about becoming like my parents.” Jungkook's brows furrowed as he thought about it. 
This immediately piqued Dr. Min’s curiosity and he could tell Jungkook was hesitant about elaborating any further. “Don’t worry, everything in our session will remain just between us.” Yoongi reassured him with a smile. 
It wasn’t like it was that big of a secret. Jungkook took a deep breath before starting. 
“They’re only together for our family’s public image, and me and my brother. They were arranged when they were young as well, and it would take me too long to go into just the details I know, but…” Jungkook just let the silence speak louder than he ever could. “They tried to make it work at first, but it didn’t last very long. Their relationship was hostile, if you could even say they had one in the first place. They’ve cheated on each other a countless amount of times, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were other peop—”
Jungkook could never forget his distinct memories of seeing people he hadn’t met before walking through their house unexpectedly. Some of them he only remembered seeing once, others stayed for a little while and became regulars at their residence. His parents would always reassure him and his brother they were just “friends” who stayed over. Growing older made the odd memories present themselves as what they truly were. 
He also remembered all the fighting, the callous words they would spew at each other at night that he could hear from across the hall, and the look of disdain on their faces in the morning. Their relationship, if you can call it that, was turbulent to say the least. Jungkook always wondered how he ended up here, considering how things were when they were still trying to make it work. 
“I always thought their marriage looked more like a prison than anything beautiful. They made it work for our sake, but I never wanted to live like that.” Jungkook’s own words were starting to get to him the more he realized his marriage might suffer an even worse fate. 
A pivotal moment came when he was too small to understand the consequences of his actions; it was at this point, when he was first exposed to the true reality of their family dynamic. His parents had taken him and his brother to the park, he still didn’t know what caused his young mind to go there, but for some reason as they were walking to the playground, Jungkook realized how off things were about their family. It was then that he suddenly asked his mom and dad why they weren’t like all the other parents and couples walking around holding hands. 
“Mom and dad don’t love each other the same way others do.” His dad answered and his mom had so easily agreed— way too easily. It was so stark, so to the point, and at the time he didn’t really get it but their words stuck with him as the years passed and he started to make more sense of their family’s situation.
His young mind didn’t really get relationships, he was still in that phase where he thought all girls had cooties and that boys rule and girls drool, but he could tell something was off with how his parents were with each other. When he actually learned the reason, a strange anger started to brew inside him over the years. A permanent wall his family could never climb. Jungkook had blamed them for most of his life because they could never be a normal family and he swore to himself he never wanted to give his own kids the same fate one day.
But at least his parents could tolerate each other now. They were more like friends these days than anything else, and they knew how to come together when needed. But Yuri seemed like she couldn’t even stand being in the same room as him. 
He had to do something.
“I wanted passion, the thing that people write entire movies, songs, and shows about; I wanted the fireworks, the butterflies, magic— I had really looked forward to it.” It was a little silly, but he had always been a hopeless romantic. Jungkook felt his cheeks burn as his attention focused on the doctor in front of him. “I’m sorry— this probably sounds ridiculous.” He shied.
Dr. Min laughed. “I’m a couples therapist. I know better than anyone else what you’re talking about.”
Jungkook smiled at this, but his cheeks were still on fire. “I had always pictured something like that in my relationship, and don’t get me started on what I thought things would be like when I got married.” He laughed and the doctor joined in. He already embarrassed himself enough as it is.  
“But then I was forced into the exact same situation as my parents with someone I hardly knew. I was terrified I’d end up in that hell.” Jungkook sighed. He had somehow ended up somewhere even worse.
Dr. Min noted on his pad again. 
“This seems to mean a lot to you then.” The doctor commented. 
“It really does and… I mean, besides Yuri, I didn’t have any relationship experience. I focused on school ever since I learned I was going to be the one taking over the company. I thought I would have more time once I graduated but…” 
“Talk about that a little more, what do you mean you didn’t have any relationship experience?” Dr. Min pressed further. He tried his best to hide the shock in his voice. Jungkook was definitely someone he wouldn’t expect to have trouble in that department. 
“I was really busy when I was still in school. I hardly had time to do anything, and certainly not enough to commit to a relationship— at least, the kind I knew I wanted. I was waiting until I had time for something more serious, but then suddenly I was engaged. I never went on a date, never had a girlfriend… I did a little physical stuff in college but it was just experimentation rather than anything passionate. Yuri was my first in a lot of ways.” Dr. Min took extra notes of this. 
“Mmmm is that why you think you’re the issue in the relationship?” Dr. Min asked as he continued to write. This was a factor he especially believed played a part in Jungkook’s apparent lack of confidence in the relationship.
“We wouldn’t be here if I knew what I was doing.” Jungkook sadly chuckled. He truly had no idea what a relationship should be like besides the romanticized versions he’d seen in movies and dramas. 
“That’s not necessarily true— did Yuri have more experience going into your marriage?” 
Jungkook nodded. “I know she had a boyfriend in high school and then there was another guy she dated in her first two years of college. She was miles ahead of me in that department.” 
Yoongi noted that down. “And did Yuri tell you this?” 
He nodded his head. “She talks about them occasionally.”
“In what way?” Dr. Min questioned as he raised an eyebrow.
Jungkook stared at the doctor, suddenly, the nerves quickly came back. “Um—” He stammered. “She’ll compare me to them sometimes, mainly when I do things wrong.” Jungkook mumbled the last part, the embarrassment creeping up once again, heating up his cheeks. 
The doctor stopped writing, the silence that hung in the air felt like it lasted an eternity. “And how does that make you feel?” Dr. Min asked, commiseration filling his tone.
Jungkook quickly needed to fight back the tears as he thought about all the times Yuri would bring up her exes. She would scream in his face how much better they made her feel, and how he could never compare. 
“Worthless.” It was a simple, one-word answer that slipped out without much thought. He regretted it as soon as it left his mouth; his eyes grew more watery as he watched the doctor’s expression change to one filled with pity. He hated it.
Jungkook knew now that he deserved it. She was unhappy and it was all his fault. Her boyfriends, when they were younger, did more for her than her own husband; even after being married for the last three years. 
“I’m not surprised you feel that way. We’ll need to discuss this more in depth during a session where I have you both together, but comparison is never healthy for any relationship. I like to think of fresh relationships as the start to a brand new chapter of your life— whatever happened in previous chapters with other people, might have helped shape the story of the person you are today, but now you both begin this new chapter together. Whatever happened in the past should stay in the past, instead, you should be focusing on how you both are going to choose to write this chapter now that you have each other in your lives. Again, I’ll be sure to talk about this more when Yuri’s here, but comparison is never healthy for anybody.” Dr. Min put it so eloquently, but still Jungkook couldn’t help but think he didn’t deserve the advice.  
If he was a better husband, Yuri wouldn’t have the need to compare him.   
“Alright, before we move forward, I just want to make sure I have a clear picture of the situation. Can you elaborate the details of the arrangement with your wife? Did your parents just put you two together randomly or was there something else involved?” Yoongi was struggling to picture how things happened exactly.
Jungkook quickly wiped away the tears before he nodded once again, realizing that might be important. “It wasn’t random at all— then again, when I offered to take over the company from my brother, I had no idea I would be put in that position but—“
“Your brother— What happened there? How about you start from the beginning.” Yoongi interrupted, focused on trying to get as many details as possible.
Jungkook internally slapped himself, realizing he was talking to the doctor like he knew all of the important details. 
“My older brother was supposed to be the one to inherit the company, but he never wanted to take over Golden Tech. Junghyeon and my parents would fight all the time for years about him needing to fulfill his duty while he wanted to forget it all and pursue his dream. When it came down to which college he was going to attend, things just got extra tense when he revealed he applied and got accepted into his dream school. I hated the fighting, plus I was more interested in the company anyway, so I volunteered to take his place so he could live out his dream.” It still felt like yesterday that it all happened. Jungkook had felt so good when he stepped up and let his brother go do what he always wanted. 
He can’t say he would have made the same choice now— maybe Junghyeon would have still been better suited to run the company despite his lack of enthusiasm for the position.
Dr. Min awed and wrote that down. He knew he would have follow-up questions, that context opening up a whole new can of worms, but he didn’t want to keep interrupting Jungkook. “Ok… I think I got it, you can keep going.”
Jungkook took a deep breath before continuing. “Well it wasn’t random, but they never mentioned anything to my brother about being in an arranged marriage nor did they say anything to me when I took over his position. It came out of nowhere. But Yuri’s dad and mine were close pretty much all of our lives despite them being each other's competition. Apparently, in private, they made this deal with each other that benefited both companies so they could rely on each other a little more and wouldn’t need to compete as hard. There was a lot of good that came with the contract, I saw it myself. The one bad thing about it was that they decided the  only way to seal a deal like that would be to actually become family— that’s how me and Yuri got these.” Jungkook held up his hand to show off his wedding band. 
Interesting. 
“So you’re not only married but there’s a contract involved in your relationship?” Dr. Min asked and Jungkook nodded.
“We signed our marriage license first, and then immediately after we stamped the contract. Our wedding went from our ceremony into a party celebrating the contract being finalized.” It was just another thing that made their wedding a little strange.
Knowing that information now, the situation was starting to make a little more sense. It explained the disregard for the couple’s young age with the fact that business was involved. Still it was a bit odd, like why did this deal need to be formed in the first place? Why did the contract have to be stamped immediately? There were still many questions that needed to be answered, but this information was useful to have when considering the subjects to cover in their sessions together.
“It makes even more sense why this is such a big deal to you.” Yoongi added as he finished up his notes. Jungkook steadily nodded at his words.
“It’s not as simple as my marriage will fall apart if things don’t work out— there are so many people relying on me to make this work. I have to make this work, and for some reason, I can’t find a way to make her happy.” Jungkook tried to stop the way his voice wavered, but saying it out loud just made things real all over again. 
The stakes were high, and if he failed, he— 
“Now that I have the big picture, we can move back to your relationship and the troubles you’re having right now. What about Yuri? What specific issues are you having with her?” The question had Jungkook stunned for a second because of course there were things he wanted to bring up, but the guilt had him hesitating. What if Dr. Min knew how awful he was?
“I just want us to be in a happy relationship. I feel it’s my lack of experience that’s getting in the way of that happening. I don’t know what I’m doing but…”
“But?” Dr. Min emphasized as he tried to meet his gaze. Jungkook was clearly avoiding it as he stared down at his lap. 
“But I feel like I’m trying hard to make us work. I just wish she’d touch me more.” It was a dirty confession, something he’d secretly wished for years. How dare he?
“Sexually?” Dr. Min hurriedly scribbled on his pad.
“I just want her to touch me… hold my hand, kiss me, cuddle, anything. I want her to want me.” Saying it out loud was horrible. He was just waiting for that gaze that suggested how pathetic he was, he deserved it for complaining, but that never came as Dr. Min's expression softened once again to something more sympathetic. 
“Do you want to do all that with Yuri?” The doctor followed up with. The question seemed weird to him at first, but then Jungkook realized no one had ever asked him that before. 
“Of course I do… she’s my wife.” He tried to laugh. 
“I get that Jungkook, but considering this is an arranged marriage, I’m just trying to understand where your relationship stands at this moment.” 
The question became that much more daunting because he didn’t have an answer for that. “It’s complicated… I don’t want to answer for Yuri but…” the words just weren’t coming to him. 
Jungkook had to think about it for a while. “I feel, despite us being married for three years, we're still getting to know each other. We’ve had good moments— great moments sometimes… if I find out what I’m doing wrong, I’m sure we can share those moments together a lot more often.” 
Just two weeks ago they were celebrating their third year together— or, well, “celebrating.” Their families just enjoyed holding a small gathering to celebrate the anniversary of the contract being stamped rather than the marriage itself, even though they masked it that way. 
Three years together and what did he have to show for it? He hardly knew the woman he was legally bound to, and he’d just made her life miserable since the day they said their “I do”s on the altar three years ago. 
People around him wished them a “happy anniversary” and pictures of him and Yuri were sprawled around the restaurant they had rented out for the occasion. It was all a lie, every picture where they stared lovingly into each other’s eyes, every wish for so many years to come felt bittersweet. He honestly wondered how anyone could have believed them, they seemed so fake in his opinion. 
Jungkook had spent the whole day feeling awful and mourning the relationship he could have had. The gathering could have been a real celebration of their three years together, if he just was a little better— not just better, if he wasn’t him, how happy her life might be right now.  
It was the main reason Jungkook worked up the courage to meet a therapist. Something had to change. He hoped seeing a professional might be the answer.
Dr. Min nodded slowly as he continued to write his notes. Jungkook wondered what he could possibly be writing. He hoped it was the answers to fix him so he could finally make Yuri happy, but he feared he would only hear the same judgmental remarks he’s grown used to these days. 
“You mentioned you had a plan after your graduation… what did that look like for you?” Dr. Min asked suddenly as he looked back up at him. 
Jungkook was a little stunned at the question at first, but then he tried to rack his brain to remember the plan he’d made what seemed like forever ago at this point. “I had planned to take a break from school before knowing I would get married. It would have been just a year, maybe two at the most in order to establish myself at Golden Tech a little more. I was going to get my master’s sometime after that, and when I got that out the way, I could finally focus on my job and get as much experience as possible before I needed to step up as CEO. However, I got married and I haven’t gotten the chance to go back like I wanted.”
“And why’s that?”
“I’m already busy with work, trying to manage a job, school, and settling into my new relationship was something I knew would be impossible. I wanted Yuri and I to be in a good place before going back but… it’s taking longer than I expected.” Jungkook tried not to think about it too much, he’s already got two degrees which, to some, might be enough. Having a master's would simply be a nice addition at this point, but it was something he always planned and wanted to have— something he still hoped to get one day. 
As much as their relationship has been like a rollercoaster, he still had a glimmer of hope that they could fix things and he could go back to school. 
“Plus, well, I have more than just myself to take care of now. Maybe it was for the best that I work full time, I gain more experience at work than in any classroom.” Jungkook was trying to be optimistic, but just thinking that by now he would have graduated and completed his educational journey, made the sadness come back all too easily. 
But he had a wife, a family he needed to take care of. 
Most people always assumed Jungkook was just this spoiled rich kid who lived off of his parents’ money, and was simply waiting for his dad to retire to finally take over the company. Jungkook never wanted that to be the case and made sure he worked just as hard, sometimes even harder, to prove he was capable.
Truth be told, he stopped living off his parents’ money the minute he graduated high school. It was a choice inspired by his brother's bold decision to just pick up and leave the country. He felt there was a lot to learn about the world, something he knew he would never experience if he had remained sheltered and continued to solely rely on his parents. That experience was especially important if he was going to run a company someday.
He lived like most of his peers who moved away from home. He lived in this cute, tiny apartment, went to work nearly every day, and struggled hard at night to catch up on his schoolwork. He was relatively normal besides the fact he drove a Mercedes to get to class— a graduation present from his father that he just couldn’t let sit somewhere. Besides that, he was  on his own. 
It wasn’t something his parents encouraged. They constantly wanted to give him money any chance they could. Jungkook just wanted to test being on his own and build the life experience most of his peers had. 
Throughout college he lived off of any money he made from his part time jobs, gigs, and desk job at Golden Tech. 
The only reason he was able to move straight into the fancy place they lived in now, was the fact that the apartment was a wedding gift from both his and Yuri’s parents. The whole reason they can live so well now is because of how hard he’s worked over the years! Would any of this be possible if he hadn’t worked full-time?
He had bills to pay and a wife to make happy, there was no way he could have managed to do that and school at the same time. 
Yes, Yuri was his priority. 
Dr. Min observed the way Jungkook seemingly faded out of the conversation, his eyes were wide as he stared out of the window. 
Hmm. 
He made sure to circle this topic on his notes for when Yuri came. 
“Jungkook, you mentioned earlier about intimacy between you and Yuri— I meant to ask, how's your sex life?” The very blunt question had Jungkook’s eyes nearly bulging out of his head and quickly returning back to the doctor. His cheeks grew more pink the more he processed Dr. Min’s words.
“You don’t need to give details, I’m just trying to get a feel as to where the issues might be lying in the relationship. The fact you’re in an arranged marriage, makes this question even more important. Have you both made it to that stage in your relationship? If so, how soon? Are you satisfied?” Dr. Min reiterated. 
“Ummm…” Jungkook felt his face grow hot. How was he going to explain it was one of the biggest issues in their relationship?
“Our honeymoon… we, you know.” Jungkook hoped Dr. Min would get the picture, and was relieved when he nodded. 
“It was a bit too soon— me and Yuri hardly knew each other. We only went on three dates before we got engaged and then we were married. Our parents knew each other so I’d seen her a couple of times in the past, but our honeymoon was really one of our first chances at getting to know each other. It was nice… really, really nice.” Dr. Min noticed Jungkook’s soft smile at the mention of the trip. 
“I feel maybe it was better to get to know each other a little more before we took that step, but you know…” No, he probably didn’t. Jungkook was such a sad human being for giving in so easily the minute she sat on his lap in the hot tub they found themselves in that day. He knew that now. 
“I understand— two young people alone on a trip together— there’s nothing wrong with that.” Dr. Min tried to reassure him, noticing the way Jungkook got quiet. 
“But things have been weird ever since we got back. I thought we just needed to adjust a little bit to our new life, but I feel I was doing a better job back then than I’m doing now.” Jungkook tried to laugh, but he couldn’t. Why couldn’t he remember what he did back then to make her want to be that close? 
Why was he so horrible at being a husband? 
“Jungkook, you never answered if you were satisfied.” Dr. Min tried to dig down, sensing this topic was sensitive. 
“I try to be…” Jungkook said aimlessly, playing with the corner of the blanket that had somehow made its way onto his lap. 
“What do you mean by that?” 
“I try to give her what she wants but…” He could never forget her comments: 
“Why would I ever want you when you don’t stop thinking with your dick for just 5 seconds?!” Jungkook had only tried to pull her close to cuddle. She saw right through his guise.
“Look at the fucking mess you made! You’re disgusting!” Yuri screamed as she pointed to spots on the bed where his cum had seeped through his pants. He’d gotten a little too excited while eating her out and made a mess. Yuri had always hated messes. 
“Maybe I’d let you fuck me if you lasted more than two seconds.” Even that was generous, that day he barely made it inside before he was spilling into the condom. He could argue and say they never have sex and he was sensitive, but he couldn’t imagine how frustrating that would be. 
“Why are you crying again? You’re fucking pathetic…” Yuri rolled her eyes after she told him he’d never be good enough for her. There had been a little light in the room, just Yuri’s lamp on her nightstand, when he took off his shirt. Apparently, the view had been that unsightly, she got so upset when he tried to get back on top of her. They never fuck with the lights on anymore, she says it’s easier this way. 
Jimin says he cares way too much about what Yuri says, but he wanted to look good for her. 
Just this morning Jungkook had spent his time in the shower, staring into the glass at his reflection. He hadn’t gotten the chance to go to the gym all week, work taking up all his time, but his week away from the gym had already started to show consequences. That muscle definition he cherished so much was already starting to soften, Yuri doesn’t like it when he’s like that. 
He lives for her praise— those moments when she smiles, when she laughs, when she pleads for him to make her cum. Those moments are few and far between. 
While the criticism hurt, she had every right to be upset. It was clear he lacked in so many aspects at being a good husband, let alone a good partner in general. 
Yuri would always tell him how happy In Kyung Sam made her when they dated— her last ex from college, the person she mainly compared him to. Jungkook had stalked him on Instagram and it was clear he was far from what Yuri wanted. 
He just needed to do better.
“I don’t think I’m good enough.” Jungkook didn’t realize he started crying until he saw the drops start to hit the pillow on his lap. He tried to work hard, tried to be a good husband, but he hated to admit how tired he was these days. The dark circles around his eyes showed his effort, and Jimin told him how much thinner he’d gotten— most noticeably, in his face.
Jungkook skipped way too many meals these days. He tried his best to follow those protein diets recommended by bodybuilders, but work always got in the way and he would forget to eat more often than not. It wasn’t on purpose, but lately, he was starting to look just as sad and tired on the outside as he felt on the inside. 
Hopefully therapy would help.
Dr. Min watched the breakdown ensue, it’s happened with other clients before; eventually, they get to a touchy subject and they become emotional. However, something about watching the tears so easily spill from his eyes, was a little unsettling. Jungkook wasn’t loud, he didn’t make a scene, but his eyes grew redder by the second, his face more pained, and his cheeks more soaked with tears. His gaze however remained on the pillow and blanket that he had become fixated on.
“Jungkook, please don’t say that. I don’t know what Yuri’s done to make you feel this way, but never say you’re not good enough.” Dr. Min took off his glasses and set them on the table, before handing him the box of tissues that sat on the little table in between them. 
“I want her to love me, to want me so bad that it hurts her as much as it hurts me—“ It was then that his voice started to quiver. “I feel like I try so hard but nothing works, I’m so tired…” He was beyond tired at this point. Sometimes he felt like giving up entirely. 
Jungkook had even started feeling less confident at work. He couldn't even satisfy one woman. How would he ever be able to make the employees at Golden Tech happy, let alone the consumers, business partners, the media— how could he ever live up to his father’s legacy? 
It scared him the amount of times he considered telling his father to hand the position to someone that might be more suitable. What would his father think of him? It almost felt inevitable at this point at how much of a disappointment he was these days.   
His thoughts were spiraling; recently, they always do. 
“It’s ok to be tired, but you’ve already made a great step in coming here.” Dr. Min tried to be the shoulder Jungkook could lean on, but he was too focused on all the red flags waving around in his head. 
Jungkook didn’t give too much detail about Yuri, but Dr. Min had been a therapist long enough to know that this might go beyond just simple marital issues. He wanted to press for more details, but suddenly Jungkook’s phone started buzzing in his jacket pocket. It was almost startling to see how fast the young man wiped away his tears, before he reached into his pocket and answered his phone. 
“Hello?” Jungkook’s voice was a little hoarse, but his tone shifted to sound a lot more professional than the soft one he used with him. Yoongi quickly figured this must be a work call. 
“Wha— I’m a little busy—“ Jungkook tried to interject, but silence passed as he listened to the person on the other end.
“Oh? Oh… I see— I’ll come straight in then.” That sadness in his voice returned all too quickly, but Dr. Min could tell he was trying to mask it. 
The call ended soon after, and Jungkook looked at the clock to see that they still had 10 minutes left of their session. 
“I’m sorry, I’m going to need to cut our session short. I thought I was done for the day but…” Jungkook tried to smile, but he couldn’t. For some reason, he wanted to stay and talk more. This must be a good sign. 
“I understand.” Yoongi said as he stood up with Jungkook.
“I look forward to seeing you again and meeting your wife tomorrow.” Usually during these sessions, Dr. Min tried his best to remain unbiased regarding couples’ problems, especially during these initial one-on-one intake interviews, but he was already starting to get a worrisome picture in his head of this woman. Their meeting tomorrow will be the real teller. 
Jungkook smiled lightly before heading for the door. Dr. Min wanted to stop him, for some reason, he feared letting him go in his state, but all he could do was hope to see him again. 
•────•──────────•────•
The next day, Jungkook found himself stuck in a meeting with some of the executives from the production team. It wasn’t that important, it was just an update about what they had been up to lately at the factories. Jungkook had tried his best to pay attention, but he was really tired today. 
After he went home from the work emergency, he was finally able to let the emotions he’d been trying to keep at bay flow without the prying eyes of society. He didn’t know exactly why he was crying. Something about opening that door was so hard to do, and it just resurfaced all those thoughts that kept spinning around in his head over the years. He didn’t know what to do with himself; it was all too much and he had no one to talk to. 
Yuri came home eventually, she walked in and was greeted with the sight of him sitting at their dining table, dinner only half eaten, and his face stained with tears. He wished she had come over and hugged him— that’s all he wanted, he was sure it would have made everything better, but Jungkook watched the disappointment etch more into her features the longer she stared at him. Yuri just rolled her eyes with a scoff and went to heat up her cold dinner. 
Jungkook didn’t blame her for being upset, he really does cry too much these days.
As much as he told himself that, something about this just finally made him explode; the fragile dam that had kept his emotions somewhat under control crumbled to pieces all in an instant. He couldn’t stop his sobs as he quickly ran to the bathroom for a little more privacy. It didn’t take long for Yuri to come over banging on the door, complaining about the noise. 
He probably was too loud, Yuri hates it so much when he’s loud. But he was far too emotional earlier and her pleas for him to be quiet just made things worse. 
He ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor last night after he eventually passed out. He woke up with sore, red, puffy eyes, and his arm hurt like crazy from sleeping on it. It was his fault, Yuri made sure he knew how dumb that was before she left. 
Jungkook had tried coffee earlier, he even had Secretary Yu cancel his plans for the next two hours as he tried to take a nap in his office. That didn’t really work; he was too worried about someone walking in and thinking he was lazy. 
The only thing that kept his eyes from fluttering closed was you standing outside the meeting room. You were by the printer, likely working on those reports he asked you to do.
He should’ve been focused on the presentation, but his gaze was too busy raking up your legs that were so nicely accented by your red-bottom stilettos and short pencil skirt. The sight was a feasting ground for his imagination to run wild, and he was far more interested in picturing coming up behind you and fucking you right there against the printer. He would finally push up that short skirt that would drive him crazy as he shamelessly took you right then and there. 
As much as he enjoyed the thought, Jungkook felt disgusting; he had a wife, and it went against everything he believed in to think about someone other than the woman he’s married to in a situation like that. He could try to make up an excuse and say it was all the sexual frustration he’d been experiencing these days, but how could that justify it? It couldn’t, he was awful.
But Jungkook wanted to feel something, and Yuri wasn’t giving him anything anymore. They hardly had sex these days and she found too much pleasure in teasing him, getting him to a point where he’s pleading, before something always gets in the way of anything actually happening. His mind for some reason had found refuge in imagining you in sexual situations to cope. It was one of the reasons he ultimately ended up making an appointment with Dr. Min, recently you had drifted into his mind while he was eating out his wife. How dare he? 
He could continue to give excuses, nothing justifies what he’s been doing, but before he got married, he would have described someone like you as his “ideal type.” If things were different, if he wasn’t married, he would have probably had the biggest crush on you. 
Neither of you had talked much since you started working at Golden Tech, but he’d taken more time than he wanted to admit watching you from afar. 
Oddly enough, you were the epitome of everything his young mind had pictured dating. It wasn't like he walked around with a list in his head, but he found you checking boxes he didn’t even know he had. It was the weirdest feeling, but the longer you were at the office, the more he felt that if things were different, he would’ve liked taking a shot.
From the moment you spilled coffee on him, he knew you were gorgeous, so much so, that for some reason you always occupied his mind. It was in a way that had his eyes following you each time you crossed paths in the hallways, in a way that made him think about you even after you walked by, and in a way that made him a mess anytime you’d meet his gaze. 
He was always thrown into a whirlwind of conflicting emotions whenever he’d see you. Lust, admiration, anger? He didn’t know anymore, but most of the time it was all three at once. 
Workwise it was mainly admiration. You were smart, that much was clear from your first meeting, but since then you’ve continued impressing him. You were never afraid to speak your mind in the middle of heated debates between executives, and it was always your insight he found the most compelling. The amount of times alone since the TV incident they have utilized your input for important situations… It wasn’t a big shock when he found out how quickly you got promoted, you honestly did more than your superiors. You were hardworking, no matter what he threw at you, you would always manage to get it done better than expected. He would always hear the best from Director Son about your team being one of the best performing out of the finance department. 
The list could go on really, but hearing about you, or even seeing you in the hall, always made him feel all strange inside. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew he hated it.
He wasn’t the only one who seemed intrigued by your charm; you made everyone around you smile with such ease. Anytime he would happen to see you in the office, your coworkers would be laughing and smiling about something you’d said. He’d tried to join in on the fun and talk to you occasionally— after meetings, in the hall when you were alone, in the office when he would pass by and see you still working late, but it never seemed to go well.
“Director Jeon! Did you need something from me?!” You had panicked that one time he startled you while you were standing by the water cooler. The minute you met his eyes, his mind went blank. Somehow his attempt at small talk had turned into checking to see if you were on track to meet the deadline for something he’d asked you to do.
Even Jimin had only the best things to say about you. 
“I really don’t understand why you have a problem with her.” Jimin side-eyed him one night when they were working late. Jimin had brought you up and mentioned a fun brief conversation you had, and somehow the topic had shifted to his hyung questioning why he was always so weird when it came to you. The only thing Jungkook could respond with was giving you more work. 
He didn’t have a problem with you.  He really didn’t, but as much as he found himself enamored by your work, he also found it hard to stop the anger from rising anytime you’d even cross his mind. And unfortunately, that was often.   
Jungkook really didn’t know you that well, but he’d seen you enough that you’d affect him in ways that he could never tell another soul about. 
One time he walked by the meeting room when you were leading a meeting along with Director Son. You never noticed him standing there, but just seeing you in your element made him quickly need to run back to his office after he felt his pants start to tighten.
It was often your dark red lips that he pictured when his hand would hurriedly fist his cock. Jungkook hardly masturbated anymore, Yuri hated the mess, and he always felt sex-crazed if he ever attempted these days. However, the last time he did it was your lipstick he pictured, it was the view he had earlier that day when you bent over beside him and he could see down your shirt, it was those stupid short skirts you would wear all the time, it was you who he pictured fucking instead of his wife as he desperately rocked into the pillow that he’d been clinging onto. 
Jungkook never did that again. Yuri had gotten so mad when he told her he had essentially ruined his pillow in a moment of weakness. Part of him wished he had told her it was another woman that he got off to, he would have loved to see how jealous she might have gotten. At least then he would have known if she truly cared for him at all. 
You would get him so flustered without even trying. Maybe if you knew, you would hate him as much as Yuri did. Maybe it was best this way. The thought of another person screaming how pathetic he was, was enough to send him over the edge. It was probably only thanks to the business deal that he found himself getting married. No one would have said yes otherwise. 
Jungkook’s attention remained on you, but you never noticed his gaze. His mind was going crazy at the thought of feeling you; the sounds of the buttons on the printer being smashed into filling the hallway as he desperately pushed into you from behind. You felt so good around his needy cock while he tried his best not to spill into you too soon. 
It would be too good, and—
His fantasy was interrupted when Taehyung, a member of your financial team, suddenly walked up beside you. Jungkook watched as he seemingly came over to help you in your struggle with the printer. He just rolled his eyes and tried to go back to paying attention to the presentation like he was supposed to. 
He had to remember to get that printer fixed. 
It’s not like Jungkook had a problem with Taehyung, but he’s heard the rumors about you two and how everyone who worked on this floor thought you were together. There was no reason to be upset; he could feel his wedding ring on his finger, but he couldn’t stop disliking seeing the two of you anywhere near each other. 
What if it was true? 
He wondered what made you choose Taehyung. What did he do to win you over? What did Jungkook lack that made him so unwanted? Jungkook's gaze drifted down at the ring on his finger. In another world where he wasn’t married, he couldn’t help but think you wouldn’t have liked him anyway. No one would.
“Director Jeon?” The executive called out, finally noticing that Jungkook wasn’t paying attention to the lavishly planned out presentation. 
“I-I’m sorry, what were you saying?” Jungkook hurriedly tried to shake himself out of his daze. 
The meeting went on for far too long in his opinion. The production team always liked to be detailed in their presentations ever since going on two years ago when they messed up the launch of the new line of TVs. Normally he would have appreciated it, but he had trouble keeping his eyes open the entire time.
The minute it was over, Jungkook rushed back to his office, hoping to finally get a few minutes of sleep. He had an hour before his next meeting so he could squeeze a thirty minute nap in before he needed to do some last minute work. 
Just as he sat on his chair, ready to lay his head down, suddenly his phone started to buzz in his jacket pocket. Jungkook groaned, the exhaustion easily made him annoyed; he just wanted to sleep. He was ready to slam that dnd button for a little peace and quiet, when he realized it had been a text from Dr. Min.
Dr. Min [4:23]: Yuri didn’t show up for her interview today. 
Dr. Min [4:23]: I waited an extra thirty minutes and even tried calling. 
Dr. Min [4:25]: We can still do our first official session tomorrow, just make sure she’s there :)
Jungkook stared at his phone in disbelief. 
After he finally managed to come out of the bathroom this morning, the first thing he did was remind Yuri about her interview with Dr. Min. They argued a bit, Yuri always going back to the fact Jungkook slept on the floor again, but he still kept reminding her throughout their discussion, and even until she left, about her appointment with the doctor.
Jungkook couldn’t help but wonder if she actually forgot, or if she purposefully didn’t show up. Yuri, just like his parents when he brought up the idea of going to couple’s therapy, detested it, but Jungkook was insistent until she finally relented and agreed. 
She knew this meant everything to him. 
Jungkook didn’t know how to react. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to just break something. Instead, he texted Dr. Min a quick ‘ok’ before laying his head down to finally sleep. 
He was just so tired.
•────•──────────•────•
The next day it took way too much effort trying to bring Yuri over to Dr. Min’s office. She went on and on that she had plans with friends, and Jungkook almost had to physically drag her into the car to go with him. 
The whole fiasco made him incredibly flustered. She complained the entire time about how much this was going to be a waste. The whole way Jungkook was either on the verge of opening the car door and jumping out, or shriveling into a ball to just cry because why didn’t she want this as bad as he did? 
Did she not want to fix their marriage? Had she already given up?
It was thoughts like these that clouded his mind on the way to Dr. Min’s office. Yuri was in his ear the whole time sighing about how she could be “sipping sparkling wine with her friends at Han Cook’s right now instead of going to this fucking scam,” her words exactly. It was irritating, Jungkook even noticed Dae-Jung roll his eyes a couple of times because she just wouldn’t stop.
At some point, even he didn’t want to be there.
They were already 5 minutes late by the time they were walking through the door. Dr. Min was standing in the waiting room talking with his secretary when he and Yuri arrived hand in hand, but not out of affection, Jungkook was just scared she might try to run away. 
“Ahhhh, there’s my couple.” Dr. Min smiled at the sight.
“I’m so sorry we’re late…” Jungkook sighed, trying to repress any ill feelings he had toward his wife. Now was not the time; they were there now, that’s all that mattered. 
Dr. Min quickly guided the both of them into his office, repeating the same process as when Jungkook went in for the first time. Before he knew it, they had the blanket draped over their laps, and Dr. Min was sitting in his cozy chair in front of them with his yellow notepad in hand.
“Alright, for our first session I think it might be best that our main goal should be to try to open the doors before we really begin to explore what’s inside. We should try to lay out any immediate issues you think you might be having in your relationship. It could be anything— the little things, like someone not always forgetting to push their chair in, to bigger things, like that fight you both had that has stayed with you. But first, since I never got to meet with you Yuri, I just want to talk to you briefly.” Dr. Min smiled at Yuri and he noticed the way she rolled her eyes. 
“I understand therapy might be a little intimidating at first, but just think of me as a friend you’re ranting about your relationship troubles to. I’m someone outside of your relationship, I’m not here to tell you who’s right or wrong, but simply to advise and guide you in ways that might lead you both to being a happier and healthier couple.” Yoongi hoped that would do something, but Yuri continued to sit there with her arms crossed, looking completely uninterested. 
Hmmm. 
“Yuri, I want to first know if you have any concerns about our sessions.” 
She sighed with almost palpable annoyance. “No.” Yuri mumbled, looking out the window. 
Alright.
This wasn’t his first session with someone like this. Over the years, he’s learned that the best way to handle it, was to try your best to get your foot in the door. It’s all a matter of getting them talking.
“Alright Yuri, how about you tell me how you first found out about the arrangement? What were your feelings when you heard the news?” Dr. Min laid out a relatively simple question, hoping this would be enough to get her even just a little engaged.
“I mean…” Yuri looked over at Jungkook before turning back to the doctor. “We found out together, our parents sat us down and told us we were getting married. I felt indifferent to it, no one really wants to get married when they’re twenty-two but it was for a business deal, what could I do about it?” 
“It’s your life, you weren’t upset?”
Yuri shook her head. 
“I felt like I was doing my part for the family. My brother’s inheriting the company, and my sister works there as well. It was just me that went on a different path, so the least I could do was help secure a deal that would really benefit the company.” 
Interesting. 
“Alright then, let’s change the question a little. What were your feelings when you heard that you were to marry Jungkook?” The question was direct and it was asked with the hope of understanding her feelings toward her husband. 
Considering the concerning way Jungkook described their relationship, it was a good way to segue the conversation into uncovering her true feelings. Dr. Min noticed the way Jungkook’s eyes widened before he turned to face Yuri, anticipating her answer. 
Yoongi wished he had the opportunity to meet with her on his own. Normally, this would never be a question he would be asking with the spouse present, at least without knowing the answer first, but it was important information that would help him better plan their future sessions.
It was clear the question also took Yuri off guard. 
“It was Jungkook, we had seen each other a few times before and our parents made us go on a couple of dates. I would be more surprised if it wouldn’t have been Jungkook.” 
“You didn’t answer my question. How did you feel that it was specifically Jungkook?” 
Yuri’s face changed. He could sense she was slightly irritated again.
“What do you want me to say, I couldn’t wait to get married to him? Is that what would make you happy?” Her words were for Dr. Min, but she eventually turned to face Jungkook. 
“I’m not expecting anything. I just wanted your honest thoughts about what you felt like at that moment; the fact you were getting married forcefully, and that it was Jungkook at the end of that aisle. How would you have felt if it was someone else?” 
“No different. I was only doing it for the company, it just happened to be Jungkook that I married. I mean, it probably would have been his older brother if he hadn't left.” Yuri was looking at it very logically, but she didn’t seem to care when she finished ranting about Jungkook turning away to wipe away his tears. 
“How about now, do you feel the same way? You wouldn’t have cared whether it was Jungkook or his brother you married?” Dr. Min pressed.
“Well… I know Jungkook more. I’ve only met his brother a couple of times, and from those few instances, I think Jungkook and I work a little better.” This should have been the moment that gave Jungkook some hope, but all he was hearing was ‘convenience.’
It just so happened that his brother left for California and he offered to take his position. There was no “I’m so happy it worked out that way,” for all he knew, Yuri could have said the same thing if Junghyeon was here instead of him. Then again, his hyung probably wouldn’t even be here in therapy. His brother was always great with people and had ten times more experience in relationships than he did. Maybe Yuri would have been happier if she had married him instead. 
What was wrong with him?
“What makes you say that Yuri?” Dr. Min could sense Jungkook was spiraling, he just hoped this question would bring some sort of reassurance. 
“Me and Jungkook just… we just…” For the first time, she stumbled.
“What Yuri?” Jungkook suddenly interjected. “We what?”
“I think we work.” It was the same robotic answer from earlier. Jungkook sat there stunned wondering why she wasn’t telling him?
Something in him snapped.
“Yuri, why aren’t you telling him? He’s a professional; he’s here to tell me what I’m doing wrong. Tell him how being married to me makes you miserable. I'm trying to fix things, at least make you more comfortable. Tell him, please tell him!” Jungkook cried, he was desperate to finally understand what he had done to make her hate him so much. 
Why couldn’t she understand? He just wanted to make her happy.
Yuri just leaned back on the couch and rolled her eyes, again. 
“I can’t believe you’re crying about this.” She mumbled. 
Jungkook hurriedly wiped his eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I can’t do anything right.” He tried to laugh it off. 
If the red flags weren’t waving before they were about to fly off at this point. It was so strange. Yoongi felt like this appointment was close to derailing, so he tried his best to steer them back on topic. 
“Yuri, are there any issues you have with Jungkook you want to address in our sessions? It could be anything, I’m sure you heard Jungkook is very willing to listen and hear any qualms you may have with him or your relationship.” Yoongi found himself worried about what she was going to say.
Yuri thought for a bit before settling on a simple answer. “He’s too clingy.” 
“In what ways?” Dr. Min hoped to coax more out of her. 
“I don’t know… he’s more into being close, I’m just not like that.” It was still vague and didn’t quite make sense. 
“I get that not everyone is the affectionate type, I’m the same way actually, but there are still ways to show you care besides physical touch. People have different love languages— considering you both were arranged at such a young age, you might still be trying to explore what works best for you. I might be able to recommend to you both some exercises you might be able to try in order to explore those sides of yourselves.” Jungkook was holding onto every word the doctor was saying. Maybe this might be it.
Dr. Min made a note to return to those exercises at the end of the session.
“Yuri, I would like to talk about something that Jungkook discussed with me in our interview. I don’t want to speak for him, so Jungkook, feel free to jump in at any moment, but one of the things he mentioned was his desire for you to touch him more. I think in regards to affection—“ 
“Is he talking about our sex life?!” Yuri exclaimed suddenly, turning to face him.
Yoongi’s eyes widened at her outburst.  “It was mentioned, but that’s not—“ 
“I can’t believe you…” Yuri scoffed, turning away from him.
“I’m sorry.” Jungkook didn’t even try to fight her.
“I think it’s healthy to discuss it. You’re meant to be a couple and I hope you both know that communication is one of the building blocks into facilitating a good relationship. Things like sex, which is a boundary you both have crossed, in order to make sure everyone is satisfied, should be actively discussed with each other.” Dr. Min pointed out. This appointment was going left, he had simply wanted this to be a point about compromise, but the topic shifted so quickly.
“I get it might be a little awkward with me being here, but if it’s something you feel like you need to work on in your relationship, this is the place to discuss it.” Yoongi watched Yuri scoff at his words.
“That hadn’t been my point though—  I only brought up intimacy to demonstrate how relationships take compromise to work. Jungkook had mentioned how physical touch seems to be something he really values in a relationship—  this could include holding hands, cuddling, kissing, small things like that. Yuri you don’t share those same values, which is completely fine. Relationships require both parties taking and giving in order to make work. In this case, Yuri, you could try and be a little more affectionate with Jungkook because you know that means a lot to him. And Jungkook, it is important that you give Yuri her space when she needs it. This balance is important in working toward a healthy relationship.” He finally seemed to hold their attention as he went on. 
“Communication is key. Knowing how to effectively tell your partner whenever you feel the balance might be off, is important to maintaining the relationship. This helps your partner feel seen, heard, and allows you both not to be in the dark about how each other is feeling. Jungkook, why don’t you tell Yuri some of the things we talked about in your session?” Dr. Min ushered, hoping Jungkook’s own words would be good when articulating these points, but he could sense Jungkook’s hesitancy on how he shakily looked between him and Yuri.
Jungkook sat up slightly. “All I want is for you to want me Yuri… maybe we shouldn’t have had sex so soon before getting to know each other but…” Jungkook felt horrible for even mentioning this, “I feel like I do so much— I try my best to make you happy, but I don’t feel like you’re putting in any effort, or even want to put in any effort into our relationship. I know we were arranged and things aren’t going to just magically work out, but I thought we both agreed on our honeymoon that we were going to try our best to make the most out of the situation.” Jungkook's voice started to shake as the tears had already begun to fall. 
“I know I’m making a mess of things, but I just want you to tell me what I do wrong. I want you to know I’m committed to you, to our relationship, and the reason I brought us here is all for our future, I want an ‘us.’ I just want to know you’re trying… I’ll take anything… don’t leave so early in the morning and stay in bed to cuddle, kiss me when you leave, hug me, kiss me when you come back, take me out on dates, invite me out with your friends, and—“ He was a mess, saying anything and everything that was coming into mind.
“Yuri, I want you all the time, you have no fucking idea. I promise I want this, I want you, but I’m frustrated. I wish I wasn’t, but I am because my wife is gorgeous and gives me every reason to want her every single day, but— fuck, but you always lead me on and… I know it’s hard to want me, I know it’s so hard…” Really, why would she ever want him?
“I know whenever we do have sex I’m not the best at it, I could be better, I want to be better, but—but…. but…” Somehow the tears poured out even harder when he realized he had nothing. Why would Yuri ever want him, why would anyone ever want him? 
Absolutely nothing about him was worth putting in the effort that he wished for so badly.
“Jung—“ Dr. Min was about to interject but Yuri was quicker.
“I can not fucking believe this, is this seriously how you talk about me when I’m not here?!” She was yelling, this shocked Dr. Min, but Jungkook almost seemed to completely shut down, staring at Yuri blankly with these wide, round, sad eyes. 
“You’re actually pathetic, I can’t believe I married such a fucking loser… And you want to know why I never want you? It’s because you act like this! You’re always fucking complaining about something, you cry about everything, you’re not normal for one fucking minute. You’re talking about our private business in front of this stranger and painting me like I’m just this bad fucking person!” 
Yuri suddenly stood up, the blanket dropping to the floor.
“Why don’t you tell him there’s absolutely nothing in that head of yours and the only thing that seems to do any sort of thinking is your dick, and you whine every time I say no.” All Dr. Min could look at was Jungkook as Yuri practically screamed in his face. Jungkook just looked like a deer trapped in headlights at how scared he seemed, and Dr. Min noticed the way his hands were shaking and grabbing onto the pillow on his lap a little too tightly.
Oh no. 
“Yuri please—“ Dr. Min tried to interject once again but was immediately shut down. 
“Jungkook, you want to hear why I don’t want you?! You never let me do what I want, it’s always us, never me. You make me feel claustrophobic, you cry at the littles things, you fuck like a robot, and you finish in two seconds. Why would I ever want to be at home? Why would I ever want to be with you?!” 
“Yuri!” Yoongi once again tried to stop her, a little more firmly this time, sensing disaster was near. 
“The fact that you wasted my time bringing me here because your dumb ass can’t figure out why I don’t want to deal with you—  I honestly have no words, because why did I have to marry such a pathetic fucking excuse of a man?!” Yuri lashed, and with that, she rolled her eyes one last time before she grabbed her purse and stormed out of his office. 
Dr. Min was stunned. In all his years of practice, nothing like that had ever happened during any of his sessions, but his own shock was dwarfed by how concerned he was for Jungkook. The minute Yuri slammed the door behind her, his trembling seemed to only get worse, and his choked cries were replaced with gasps for air.
What Yoongi had feared became all too real when he saw Jungkook desperately reaching to tug at his tie, and he suddenly looked like he just came back from running a marathon. 
Dr. Min immediately flipped from professional mode into caretaker, jumping up from his chair to sit beside Jungkook on the couch. 
“Don’t worry, I’m here.” Yoongi tried to reassure him, pulling him into a tight embrace and gently rubbing his back. 
“Everything she said— she-she’s fucking right.” He was hardly able to get out the words.
“No, she’s not Jungkook, don’t listen to her.”
“My wife— she’s my wife— how can I not listen?!” He choked into his shoulder. 
Yoongi sensed this was only going to get worse. 
“Jungkook, listen to me ok? I’m going to need you to take deep breaths for me, alright? In and out, in and out, in and out—“ Yoongi pulled back to demonstrate steady breathing, making sure Jungkook looked at him. 
Eventually, he attempted to join the doctor. Jungkook was definitely shaky, but it was better than nothing. 
“I’ll be right back, I’m going to get you some water real quick, but in the meantime please repeat over and over out loud— it’s okay to not be okay. Okay?” Dr. Min advised, but he could immediately tell Jungkook was not listening.
“She’s right— why-why did I—“ 
“Jungkook, say it with me.” Dr. Min made sure Jungkook was actually looking into his eyes before continuing.
“It’s okay to not be okay— say it with me. It’s okay to not be okay.” Yoongi kept repeating, waiting for Jungkook to join him, still trembling in his grasp. 
“It’s okay to not be okay.”
“It’s okay—“
“It’s okay to not be okay.” 
“It’s okay to not be okay.” Jungkook was eventually able to force it out.
“Keep repeating and continue taking deep breaths; I’m going to get you water.” Yoongi said and Jungkook shakily nodded, reassuring that he had heard him. 
Yoongi was finally able to get up and he quickly made his way out of his office to where his secretary sat. Luckily for him, right behind her desk was a mini fridge where they kept refreshments. 
“Dr. Min, what’s going on? I heard screaming, someone stormed out of here—“ She asked, her concern already on her features. 
“I’ll explain later, can you hand me a bottle of water?— My client is having a panic attack.” Yoongi rushed out. His secretary looked shocked but quickly rolled her chair over to the fridge behind her. 
“Oh my gosh, is everything ok?” She asked as she took the bottle out and handed it to him.
“We’re trying to get there. Thank you so much.” Yoongi said before hurrying back into his office. 
He found Jungkook still just as distraught as when he left, but he was still repeating the phrase and trying his best to take deep breaths in between. 
“Good job.” Yoongi smiled, trying to reassure him. 
“Here, this will help.” He handed him the water bottle, but Jungkook’s hands were shaking so much, he couldn’t open it. Yoongi was quick to step in and screw off the cap for him, gently guiding the bottle to Jungkook’s mouth so he could drink, fearing he might spill it if he tried doing it on his own. 
Yoongi put his arm around Jungkook as they both faced the window. By now, the sun had almost set completely. The city lights were bright, you could see a few stars decorating the sky, but a sliver of orange accented the horizon, the last bit of sunlight of the day fading.
Jungkook kept taking deep breaths and trying his best to repeat the phrase that Yoongi told him to, but occasionally those thoughts that probably garnered the attack would return with full force and suddenly he was shaking again and he struggled to catch his breath. 
Jungkook wondered if the doctor thought he was as pathetic as he felt, but he never said a word as he cried his eyes out and tried to pull himself together. All his brain could focus on was the look on Yuri’s face as she told him how she felt. How dare he say all that? He should have known better. Why didn’t he know that? What was wrong with him? 
After many more tears, Jungkook was finally able to calm down. His suit jacket was draped over the armrest of the couch, and the tips of his hair that sat right at his cheeks were soaked— which he needed a haircut. He kept forgetting to do that, it was getting too long now. 
“Jungkook, how long has this been happening?” Dr. Min eventually asked.
Jungkook was sitting with his head in his hands, his face burning at an alarming degree. He felt so embarrassed for causing such a scene. He was too much in his own thoughts to realize the doctor had asked him a question. Dr. Min gently pulled his shoulder back to make sure he was listening. 
“Jungkook, did you hear me? How long has this been happening?” Yoongi asked again. 
Jungkook sighed, his face was still wet from the tears that hadn’t stopped falling. 
“Not too long… I’ve only felt like this a couple of times before, it’s never been this bad though— which I’m very sorry for. I’m so sorry about making such a scene—“ 
“Don’t be, it isn’t your fault, and this is really serious.” Yoongi sighed, wishing Jungkook would stop blaming himself for everything. “Does anyone close to you know you’ve been having panic attacks?” He asked next. 
Jungkook slowly shook his head. 
The only other person who might know would be Yuri, but he’s always been able to run and hide in the bathroom before it got too bad. It was still new that this was happening at all. For some reason, these days when Yuri gets like that, he gets easily overwhelmed that suddenly the room he was in felt like it was closing in on him. 
In the past, he would have told Jimin, but he didn’t want his hyung to see him like this. He didn’t want him to know how pathetic he had been lately. 
“You should probably tell somebody. Did having me here help at all?” Dr. Min asked. 
“It really did, thank you so much.” It was truly more sympathy than he deserved. None of his attacks had been as bad as todays, but the doctor being by his side, and so attentive, made this one the shortest episode he’s had.
The silence settled in the room for a moment.
“Maybe I’m expecting too much out of this arrangement, and I’m making her miserable by trying to have us act like an actual couple.” Jungkook suddenly said, letting those thoughts take over again. “We agreed to try on our honeymoon, but— I think I did something that made her think otherwise. I’m so bad at this, Yuri wasn’t like this before we got married. She was so sweet— I just…” 
“Jungkook, you shouldn’t keep blaming yourself for this. A marriage, any relationship really, takes both partners putting in the effort to make it work. I imagine being in an arranged marriage would make things harder, but both partners still need to try. Even though I don’t know the exact details, to me, it seems like you should know you’re at least putting in the work. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if you’re going above and beyond.” Yoongi smiled. 
“There is nothing wrong with expecting something in return. Sure, I haven’t talked to Yuri enough to know if what you’re doing is exactly what she wants; but the fact that it doesn’t seem like she’s gone through that trial and error phase with you, is an issue. You’re trying to be a couple, you’re bound to have bad days, but there should be more good ones than not. I don’t know everything about your relationship, but I can’t lie and say I’m not worried about you.” Dr. Min was being honest. 
“I can’t leave though— we aren’t dating, we’re married, and not only that, so many people are relying on me to make this work! Golden Tech benefited so much from our marriage, Redno did too, and all the employees— I can’t give up. We signed a contract.” Jungkook looked panicked at the thought of what failing would mean. 
“I get that, but it seems like this marriage is starting to affect your—“
“I just need to make her happy, I have to make her happy somehow. Why is it so fucking hard?! Why can’t I just do that?!” Jungkook stared down at the ground, his hands hurriedly running through his hair and tightly gripping onto his dark locks. 
“Jungkook—“
“I feel like I’m letting everyone down these days— fuck, why can’t I get it together? How am I ever going to run a company like this?!” The agony he was experiencing pained his voice, and the anguish that painted his features was more than unsettling. They were sentiments that Jungkook tried to keep hidden, but everything was just spilling out at this point. 
“Jungkook, that’s not—“
But instead of letting the doctor finish, he just groaned loudly, his frustration with the situation becoming overwhelming. Jungkook tried his best to hastily wipe away his tears and shake away the despair. “I should probably leave.” He suddenly interrupted, standing up way too quickly and nearly falling because his head hurt so much. 
“Wait—“ Yoongi tried to stop him.
“It’s getting late anyway.” Jungkook stretched, noticing now the nightlife was already in full swing. 
Yoongi wanted to tell him to stay. He felt Jungkook was close to uncovering some concerning details, but he couldn’t keep him there. But he was just really, really worried about him. 
Instead, he just sighed and got up to finally turn on a light. He had kept them off, knowing Jungkook complained a couple of times that his head was hurting. Besides, the lights outside were more than enough to keep things from being pitch black. 
“Jungkook, do you have anyone you could stay with tonight?” Dr. Min asked.
“Hmm?” 
“I don’t think it’s right for you to be alone, and maybe a night apart from Yuri would do you some good.” This was the opposite of the advice he’d normally give, but he feared any time with Yuri would push Jungkook over an edge he sensed was nearing. 
Jungkook slowly nodded. 
“I’m so sorry. I overstayed and went way past our session. I hope I wasn’t in the way of any other appointments, I can pay for the extra time.” Jungkook offered but Yoongi shook his head.
“You were my last appointment for the day, and there is no need. You left early for your intake interview anyway, so let’s just say we made up the time today.” Yoongi smiled. Jungkook was about to protest otherwise, but Yoongi quickly shushed him. 
“Before you go though, I wanted to give you this.” Yoongi walked over to his desk and grabbed a smaller notepad out of a drawer, before hurriedly scribbling something on it. 
It only took a second before Dr. Min was walking back, after ripping a page off to give to Jungkook. 
“What’s this?” 
“I’m a couple’s therapist, but I have a friend who might be better to talk to about yourself and what you might be dealing with. If necessary he also knows someone who can prescribe some medication to help make your days a little more manageable.” At his words, Jungkook looked at the note a little more closely.
K͟i͟m͟ ͟N͟a͟m͟j͟o͟o͟n͟
T͟h͟e͟r͟a͟p͟i͟s͟t͟ ͟(͟S͟p͟e͟c͟i͟a͟l͟i͟z͟e͟d͟ ͟i͟n͟ ͟M͟e͟n͟t͟a͟l͟ ͟H͟e͟a͟l͟t͟h͟)͟
A͟l͟o͟n͟g͟ ͟w͟i͟t͟h͟ ͟a͟ ͟p͟h͟o͟n͟e͟ ͟n͟u͟m͟b͟e͟r͟ ͟a͟n͟d͟ ͟t͟h͟e͟ ͟a͟d͟d͟r͟e͟s͟s͟ ͟o͟f͟ ͟t͟h͟e͟ ͟c͟l͟i͟n͟i͟c͟.͟
“I think it would be a good idea to talk to him. I’m a little worried about you, I can’t lie.” Yoongi chuckled lightly, but he really was concerned. It would be wrong to say the red flags in his relationship were obvious when he only got such a brief look into it, but he also feared Jungkook’s mental health was in a dangerous place.
Jungkook nodded once again, staring down at the note and stuffing it into his pocket. He turned toward the door, trying not to show how even that simple movement made his head feel like it could split open. 
“I hope to see you again,” Yoongi said, hoping he’d come back at some point, yet there was a part of him that didn’t. Maybe Jungkook would take some time to think about what his relationship was doing to him, maybe he might realize he was better off without Yuri, or maybe all hope wasn’t lost and this session would be enough to spark some change in their relationship. 
“Me too…” There was something so sad about Jungkook’s tone. Yoongi wanted to question him,
but Jungkook grabbed his coat and was out the door before he could even get
another word out.
•────•──────────•────•
The minute he closed the door behind him, Jungkook was nearly blinded by the bright fluorescent lights of the waiting room. They only seemed to make his headache worse. 
Jungkook walked as he tried to put his suit jacket and coat on. It was still cold despite being a few weeks into spring.
“Everything okay?” His attention snapped to the secretary who was still sitting at her desk. 
When he turned to her, he noticed her shocked expression. It was only then that he considered how much of a mess he likely was. His eyes were probably red and swollen, his face puffy, and he knew his hair was a mess from pulling at it.
Jungkook bowed slightly. “I’m fine, I’m sorry for keeping you here late.” He truly felt bad.
“Don’t worry about it, go get some rest. Have a good night!” Her cheery voice couldn’t stop the small smile appearing on his face. For a second he believed it actually might be. 
Jungkook said his goodbyes before stumbling down the hall, trying his best to put on his jackets. His driver was already waiting for him downstairs. Dae-Jung had texted and said Yuri had left with her friends a while ago. He wasn’t surprised; he’d only been holding her back by bringing her with him. 
“Where should I take you, sir?” Dae-Jung asked as they both settled in the car. 
On his way down, Jungkook considered taking the doctor’s advice and staying with Jimin. He would no doubt let him stay if he asked, but he felt no greater need than to be alone right now. 
“You can drop me off at the apartment, I’ll only need a few minutes to pick up a few things. I made reservations at a hotel, so you’ll take me there next.” Jungkook sighed, staring outside at the rain that suddenly started pouring the minute he made it downstairs. 
Dae-Jung nodded before pulling off and beginning the journey back to the apartment. 
Just a little ways down the street they passed by a street bar where they had a sign outside that read in bold letters: “Today’s Special: Dakgangjeong” (Sweet Crispy Korean Fried Chicken). It was only then that Jungkook realized he hadn’t eaten all day. 
Maybe that’s why his head was hurting so much. He had been so busy earlier trying to get all his work done so he could meet Yuri at the apartment for their appointment, that he forgot to eat lunch once again. 
The second he remembered, it was like a wave suddenly hit him, making him realize how hungry he was. Jungkook was tempted to tell Dae-Jung to pull over— dakgangjeong with soju sounded amazing right now, but ultimately decided against it as they rolled by. 
It was raining, cold, and it was starting to get late. Besides, as much as he wanted to be alone, drinking by himself would bring him down to a whole new level of sadness that he wasn’t in the mood at all to explore. He already felt shitty enough, and being in an environment like that right now would only make him feel worse. 
Instead, he promised to bring ramen with him and make it at the hotel later. 
The ride back was long. Traffic was awful like it usually was, but Jungkook was so tired and his headache continued to worsen. Every little bump or sharp turn would have him rubbing his temples in hopes that it would somehow help; it didn’t. 
His pain only made him recount the awful day he had and, as much as he tried to stop it, the tears started falling again. The minute his eyes started welling up only made the pain in his head worse, and the thought of Dae-Jung noticing him crying made him quickly try to fan them away.
Jungkook had already received a concerning look the minute he came downstairs and Dae-Jung was standing there ready with the umbrella. He had given Jungkook the same strange look as the secretary did upstairs. He looked like shit and he knew it. What made it worse though was the fact that he sees Dae-Jung often, and he hated the thought of people close to him knowing how pathetic he was these days. 
The ride back home took almost an hour because of the traffic. By the time he was going up the elevator, all he wanted to do was sleep. 
Jungkook sluggishly made his way down the hall, staring at the note Dr. Min had given him before he left. He was considering if he should really call the number sometime tomorrow when he had time, but then he came to the door and mindlessly punched in the code. Jungkook was so out of it, he had closed the door behind him without thinking too much, too busy contemplating if he should bring that wine his dad gave him after his business trip to France. 
He was just ready to get this packing over with, but he was shocked when he turned around to see Yuri staring at him. She was sitting on one of the kitchen barstools, wearing a tank top and a pair of those boy shorts that normally would drive him crazy. 
It wasn’t like he was mad at her, if anything, she had every right to be mad at him. He just expected she would be out with her friends still (he wished she was). He had simply planned to text her that he was staying at a hotel— he didn’t expect her to care, she was hardly at the apartment anyway. He was thinking maybe she would have celebrated, maybe even thrown a little party like that one time he left for the US for a week.
No, he didn’t expect at all to see her here. If things couldn’t get any stranger, she suddenly got up from the stool and slowly walked over until she was standing only a few inches away. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he was leaving for a few days (at least), and that he was there to pack and he’d quickly be out of her hair. But he just stood there, his eyes bouncing between her eyes that were looking directly into his, and the view down her tank top. 
“Uhh—“ He started, a little dazed. 
“What took you so long?” Yuri asked, the tone in her voice was low and made goosebumps quickly appear on his skin. 
He didn’t even really register her question. He wondered if he should tell her what happened after she left, or at least about all the traffic they ran into on their way over, but what would that do?
“I thought you were out with your friends.” He simply settled. 
“I was but—“ Yuri took a step closer, making Jungkook step back, and his back hit the door behind him. “I decided to come home early.” Her voice was sultry as she got closer, her chest eventually pressing into his. He couldn’t even look her in the eye anymore.
“W-why…?” He stumbled. 
“Because…” Yuri’s fingers slowly trailed up his arm. “You said I don’t touch you, so I was thinking…” her hand rested against his neck to pull herself up so she was right by his ear. “Why don’t I let you fuck me today?” She said it so softly that he nearly moaned.
As much as the very thought of having sex with Yuri excited him, what she said during the session today was still playing repeatedly in his head. The thought of disappointing her again was almost too much to bear. He knew he would, it’s been four months since they last had sex. 
It happened when Yuri had come back drunk from a New Years party; he had been sleeping in bed when he woke up to her tugging at his pants. It was 3am, he had to wake up for work in a few hours, but the minute she whispered “I want your cock,” he was suddenly very awake. This had happened a few weeks after the whole pillow drama, and he was desperate to get you off his mind and focus on his wife. He could have said he was tired, still trying to shake the sleepiness away, but the minute he got inside an actual person— not his hand, not his pillow— things did not end well. It probably only lasted a few minutes, at best, before he finished. 
He could never forget the look of disappointment on her face, though he pleaded to give him a few minutes so they could try again. He had never felt so small. Yuri said something similar to what she had said in therapy today, before grabbing her clothes and storming to the shower. 
The memory brought a frown to his face, which Yuri immediately noticed making her pull away. 
“Are we doing this or not?” She questioned, sensing his hesitancy. 
This really wasn’t something he should be doing. Dae-Jung was waiting for him downstairs ready to take him to a hotel. His head hurt. He was tired. He had no reason to be mad at her, but he didn’t want to see her. She made the anxiety he’d been fighting all day come back all too quickly. 
This was wrong, but he didn’t care. 
When was he going to get a chance like this again? In another four months? No, he had to do this. 
Before he allowed himself to think about it anymore, Jungkook hurriedly stuffed the note from Dr. Min back into his pocket, he grabbed her wrists to pull her close, and he gingerly met her lips.
He was soft as his hands came up to gently cup her cheek. The action made his heart flutter, he wished they kissed like this more often. This was nice. Jungkook would have been happy if they stopped here, really, it was all he needed at that moment, but he felt Yuri pull at his jacket. 
“C'mon, aren’t you going to fuck me now?” Yuri tried to make it sound sexy, but Jungkook could tell she was a little annoyed he wasn’t doing anything yet. 
Right. That’s all this was. 
He let his hands slide down and settle on her waist— he took a moment to admire her before moving back. 
When will he get another chance?
“Turn around…” He could tell Yuri was a little shocked at the command, but she smirked nonetheless before turning like he asked. 
“Want your hands on the table, arch your back for me.” Jungkook’s voice was low. He tried his best to be in the moment as he watched Yuri strut her way over to their dining table. Even in the darkness of their apartment the view was amazing. Normally he would be drooling right now, but he still found it hard to actually want this. 
He’ll make this quick— in, out, and then he’ll quickly pack. Simple. 
Jungkook let his coat fall to the floor before walking over to Yuri, and he swiftly had his hands on her waist. He hurriedly tried to lose himself in the moment, chasing his hips into hers and kissing her neck. The action got an immediate reaction out of Yuri, and he took this chance to let his hand slide down into her tiny shorts, his fingers ran through her slit, and he wasn’t surprised to find her soaked already. 
Yuri liked preparing herself in advance. Jungkook had told her many times that he wouldn’t mind helping, but she would always say she didn’t want him to get too turned on beforehand, fearing he’d finish before they actually got to fuck. Jungkook always tried to believe she knew best, but it was at times like these that he missed the most being buried between her legs, tasting her, and hearing her soft sighs of pleasure. 
It also made him sad to think that’s how little she thought of him. 
Jungkook tried not to think about it as his fingers settled on her clit, quickly stroking the bud, hoping her soft moans would be enough to bring him back from his spiraling thoughts. 
Usually by now he’d be hard, desperately trying to get his pants down so he could finally feel her after so long. He wanted that now, but he couldn’t stop his mind from being elsewhere. 
“J-Jungkook, are you—“ It was at that moment when she seemed to notice the divergence from the routine.
“You’re not hard yet?” She sounded so surprised, despite him only being in the apartment for probably not even five minutes.
“Ummm…” It was an insane expectation, but he still found himself panicking. 
“Let’s go to bed, maybe less clothes might help…” He sounded so unsure, but he hoped that’s all it would take. 
Yuri gave him a questionable look before she hurriedly grabbed his arm and led them to their bedroom.
The minute they were inside, Yuri tried to keep up her playful, flirty demeanor as she let go of him in the doorway and began a slight strip tease as she walked towards the bed. Her tank top hit the floor before she snaked her shorts down her legs. 
If this was last week he probably would have exploded at the sight, but all he could think about was how disappointed he was about to make her, and how much his head still hurts. 
No.
Don’t you see what’s right in front of you? You won’t get another chance like this for months. 
Jungkook flipped off the lights.
“Ummm…” Yuri was confused. “Jungkook, why the fuck did you turn off the lights?”
“Don’t—“
“Don’t you want to look at me?” She sounded as if she was about to get angry.
“You said you find it easier this way. You don’t remember?” How could she forget they normally keep the lights off for these things? It was her who told him that this was the only way she’d ever fuck him. 
“Jungkook, don’t be ridiculous, turn the lights back on and get over here.” She sighed. 
Seems like she didn’t remember.
Jungkook hesitantly did as she asked, he turned the lights back on and let his suit jacket fall to the floor. He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the thoughts in his head that only seemed to grow louder as he finally climbed on top of her. 
He tried his best to focus on Yuri, on the fact that she was here and wanted to do this with him. Right, she wants this, and he does as well. It’s been months, regardless of her harsh words in therapy, maybe there was a chance that she had actually listened.
This thought fueled him into pulling her close and kissing her passionately, he was soft just like earlier, but with a more hurried, desperate need. He wanted her and he was trying to convince his own body he wanted this as well.
“Jungkook, hurry, take off your pants,” Yuri whined, tugging at his belt.
Right, clothes need to come off. 
Jungkook looked down and realized he was still fully clothed. 
Right… right…
He quickly hopped off the bed, his belt hit the floor first. With burning cheeks, he undid the button and pulled the zipper down before finally his pants joined the rest of the clothes scattered everywhere.
He was about to get back on the bed, but Yuri stopped him with her hand.
“Your shirt too…”  She looked down at the button-up he was still wearing. 
Jungkook suddenly felt the anxiety he’d been trying his best to manage spike at the mention of taking his shirt off. He still hadn’t made time to go back to the gym this week, and of course, of all times Yuri wanted to have the lights on, it had to be the moment he didn’t look as good as he usually did.
Would she notice?
Yuri picked up on his hesitancy. “Hello? What’s wrong with you today?”
“I-I’m sorry.” He stammered.
He was going to disappoint her. 
With his heart nearly beating out of his chest, he slowly undid the buttons on his shirt, letting the fabric drop to the floor. 
Her eyes scanned over him and his feeble attempt at covering himself up. In that moment, all the thoughts he’d been trying to suppress came back with a vengeance. He remembered her words in therapy, the disappointment he brought, how he could never make her happy.
“Are you coming?” She asked, the irritation evident in her tone.
Jungkook slowly made his way onto the bed, trying to push those thoughts away. But as he kissed her, as he tried to ignore how shitty he felt, it just wasn’t working, and it was then that he knew she could tell something was wrong.
“You’re still not hard…?” She was angry now.
He wasn’t, but he wanted to be, he wanted her. He just needed something to take away the thoughts swirling around in his head.
“Maybe your hand might help…” He felt awful for even suggesting it. He shouldn’t be greedy considering what she was offering, but for a second he thought about what Dr. Min had said earlier: Both people need to try, and Jungkook was clearly struggling.
It was obvious his words shocked her, and Jungkook used this opportunity to lightly grab her hand. Despite how much he was shaking, he slowly guided it down his body in hopes that she’d reach into his boxers and fix the situation. He knew it would have worked. In that moment, he would have easily forgotten all his troubling thoughts, all his worries, how hungry he was, his awful day, his headache, and how much he just wanted to sleep. He would have forgotten everything the minute she would have wrapped her hand around his cock. He would have been able to fuck her like he wanted.
But no, the second it became obvious what he was doing, Yuri yanked her hand back. 
“What the actual fuck?” She was rightfully pissed.
He gave up at that point, he knew it wasn’t happening. Jungkook buried his head in her shoulder, hoping to hide the shame that was burning him away inside. Not only was he unable to give himself what he wanted, but he also let his wife down.
“Yuri I’m so sorry, I don’t think I can do this.” Jungkook sobbed. Yes, he was crying again.
“What?” 
“So much shit happened today​​— I’m so tired, I haven’t eaten all day, I can’t stop thinking, and, I just—” Was this really an acceptable excuse? He even had a hard time convincing himself. Still, he held onto her tightly. He wanted her here.
“Maybe we could try again later, please don’t leave me.” He finally pulled back to look into her eyes. 
“We could stay in bed and cuddle, or I could make us dinner— we could even watch this movie I heard was really good.” Jungkook noticed her displeased expression become more irate the longer he rambled.
“Or maybe there’s something you want to watch— we could do anything you want… just… just don’t leave me alone.” All he wanted was his wife in his arms for one night. It felt so good to see her, to have her here with him, and as much as he wanted to be on his own when he walked in, he didn’t trust himself to be alone.
He wanted Yuri, he wanted to feel she wanted him as well.
Jungkook stared down at her, pleading with his eyes she’d say yes to something, anything, and it would have made up for how shitty today’s been.  
He wanted to eat dinner together, to show off his mediocre cooking skills, something they could have laughed about over the wine his father gave him. Then they would have moved to the couch; Jungkook would have turned on that one movie he knew she would enjoy (he’s stopped himself from watching it, in hopes she would join him one day). 
In his fantasy, they would cuddle, but he would have been fine even if they were five feet apart. Jungkook would have just been happy she was with him. Eventually, his emotions and the sexual frustration from the past few months would have him leaning over and he would have taken her right there on the couch; the movie would continue playing in the background, but neither of them would have been paying attention, as they were too busy enjoying the sounds of each other’s pleasure more than anything playing on TV. 
Exhaustion would have come almost immediately after he spilled inside her, but Yuri would smile and pull him close, letting him fall asleep right there on top of her. It would have been too cozy, the feeling of her warm body embracing him as she ran her hands down his back, making him fall asleep instantly. 
Once the movie would have ended, Yuri would've lightly woken him up so they could wash up before bed. She would have guided him to the shower and teased him about the fact that his eyes kept fluttering closed, but the water was warm, and he was just so happy and at peace. He would have cried the minute her hands lightly massaged his scalp, but she wouldn’t have noticed. He would have happily gone to bed with his wife in his arms, and— 
This moment would have made up for all the hardships in their marriage, it would have been enough to give him hope once again, it would have erased his growing desire for his coworker, it would have made him believe that Yuri wanted him even only a little. Even if that wasn’t exactly what happened, he would have been just as happy. He would have taken anything…
Yuri rolled her eyes underneath him. “Jungkook, get off of me.” 
As much as he didn’t want to let her go, he listened. 
“Yuri, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He pleaded for her forgiveness as he watched her go over to grab her clothes off the floor. 
“I can’t believe I left my friends for this.” She angrily grumbled to herself. 
“Yuri ple—” 
“Jungkook stop it, ok?!” Yuri yelled and it instantly had him shutting up. “I can’t believe I keep giving chances to someone so pathetic.” The words had Jungkook frozen on the bed.
“How am I so unlucky? We’re only twenty-five, but my god, the guy I had to marry, his dick doesn't even work! I went out of my way to come home early for you, and this is what I’m welcomed with; pathetic excuses to make up for your incompetence. And then you have the audacity to try and make me touch you because you can’t get your shit together!” Yuri gave him that disgusted look he’d feared the minute he saw she was home.
Her words cut deep, like a sword to a piece of paper. It seemed so simple and easy to her, but Jungkook was left in pieces, shattered, destroyed. At this point, he was so broken, he believed he deserved every word she said. 
“And you’re crying again!” She acted shocked, but it was only an act because he really does cry a lot these days. There was nothing shocking about that. 
Yuri looked at him for a second. He probably looked like a mess. He knew his face was red, it certainly felt hot, and it was just covered with tears and snot. 
Despite this, despite everything, he didn’t want Yuri to leave. He feared the dark thoughts were beginning to be the only thing he could think about. He needed her here at least. “Yuri— please, don’t— don’t go. I don’t want to be alone, I’m scared, I—” 
Yuri sighed. “I’m going to shower, and I’m leaving with my friends right after.” Before she walked off, she made the dramatic point of taking off her wedding ring and stuffing it into the drawer of her vanity. It was then that she stormed into the bathroom and slammed and locked the door behind her. 
The silence. The fucking silence of the apartment after the door closed was too much to bear. Silence was always the perfect breeding ground for the vilest thoughts to flood into his head and engulf him entirely. 
It felt like they were trying to fit just one more person in an already overcrowded elevator, but he was already tightly pressed against the corner, and the elevator was buzzing from keeping the doors open for so long. But the people in front just kept pushing him further in, trying to squeeze and shove more people inside. Just one more person, one more person and he’s sure he wouldn’t be able to breathe. Just one more thought and he feared it would be the end of him. His thoughts screamed, shrieked, wailed in his head, but even in the chaos, Jungkook could hear every fucking word.
This was all his fault.
For a moment, Jungkook wished he had listened to Dr. Min and gone to Jimin’s apartment instead. Things would have been better and at least his hyung would have stayed by his side. Now he was alone. So fucking alone. 
Jungkook tried his best not to cry too loudly; he knew Yuri hated it when he was loud, so he pulled the covers over his body and put his pillow over his face to suppress his screams. He cried because he felt Yuri was right, he cried because he felt his marriage really was in shambles, he cried because he was going to end up worse than his parents, he cried because he knew he was the one causing it. But what was the loudest in the darkest chamber of his thoughts, was that he believed he wasn’t worth the love he craved for. 
Jungkook couldn’t stop thinking about how miserable Yuri seemed. Even if he thought he was trying hard, for someone to say those things, for his wife to look at him like that, it was for a reason. He knew it. 
Everything. Everything had to be his fault.
•────•──────────•────•
Jungkook ended up not eating that day.
Yuri left right after, just like she’d said, and she was hardly at the apartment for a few days after that. Jungkook was left largely alone, he didn’t go to work the next day, nor the next, or the one day after that. He found it too hard to get out of bed. 
He was gone for a week, ignoring most of the concerned calls he would continuously get from someone at the company.
It was that weekend when Yuri came home for a brief moment only to grab something she needed. She had almost missed it completely, but before she turned to head downstairs, where her friends were waiting for her in the car, Yuri looked out the window to see Jungkook sitting on their balcony.
Normally, it wouldn’t be a cause of concern, but it had been pouring outside all day. Jungkook eventually explained that he had been sitting out since the rain had started (which was around noon), but when Yuri came home it was nearly 8:30pm…
He got really sick after that, pneumonia. 
Yuri yelled at him for being dumb, but it just made things worse. Jungkook at least hoped the diagnosis would be enough to get Yuri to stay, but of course, why would she stay with him when he was battling pneumonia?
He believed he deserved the suffering. It was karma for skipping work for a week, for wasting his day instead of being productive, for being glued to the wine fridge and drinking everything he’d been saving for a special occasion. 
Jungkook was never the same after all of this. 
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rabbitblackx · 1 year ago
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Hi! How are you? I hope you're doing well :D
So I have an idea I've thinking about
Since my dream job is to be a psychologist, I thought about how slashers would react to their s/o working as a psychologist / psychotherapist (for Michael, Brahms, Freddy and Jason please)
Thanks in advance
Have a good day / night!
Hope ur doing well too! :) sorry for the wait I’ve been a bit busy and uninspired, but things are starting to look up! Have a great day xoxo
Slashers with a Psychologist!Reader
Includes: Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger and Brahms Heelshire
Michael Myers💖
Michael hated you at first. Well, it wasn’t much different now. He… now tolerated you…? At best? Anyway, he hated how you overanalysed every little thing he did. It was hard not to, seeing how beyond batshit he was
Like, how dare you try to make Michael feel better?! >:( That was the worst thing you could do to him! You reminded him of Loomis. Although, you were way more attractive… and cute… and sexy
Michael didn’t want to like you, but there was just something about you. He was always gonna be a bad guy, but you somehow bettered him. He was instantly more calm in your presence and even your home. Your furnishings and belongings were purposely placed to give the space a peaceful vibe
If you were lucky, Michael could really fall apart on you. He had his head in your lap, completely motionless. You were worried he was about to die or something, but no… you just made him feel
Jason Voorhees💖
Jason didn’t believe in your therapy. He dismissed and brushed off any words of comfort you gave him. There was nothing you could’ve said that would make him not feel the way he did. He kept you around though… maybe just because he liked the sound of your voice
Sometimes your wise words stuck with Jason when he was by himself. He was kicking himself for it, but maybe you were right? Perhaps your therapy made him feel better?
When Jason was angry, he used to break things. Now, he sat across from you and listened to you talk. You gently praised him for doing so, proud at how far he had come
Jason found himself craving your presence more and more. You made him feel okay. You may have thought he was becoming codependent, but he didn’t care. Your caring words and methods made him latch onto you
Freddy Krueger💖
No, no, no. Don’t try and overanalyse a bunch of bullshit about Freddy. That didn’t work on him. At least that was what he told himself. He acted like your wise words and kindness had no affect on him, but he grumbled about how sweet you were to himself later
Your dreams were Freddy’s favourite. Amazingly, they were no nightmares. It was just the two of you in the comfort of your office. He found the way you sat so straight in your chair, the way you focused hard on jotting down your notes… so cute
Freddy wasn’t too keen on telling you about his problems. He was much more interested in just looking at you. Sexy, smart you… he could’ve just eaten you up
It was pretty obvious, but Freddy tried to get you to hug or hold him often. He was a pretty bad actor, begging you for sympathy. You felt none, but still snuggled him anyway. You told him he was touch starved, and he hated that. Truth hurt
Brahms Heelshire💖
Brahms sat obediently across from you in the living room. He listened to every word you said, shyly nodding along when necessary. He had a long way to go, but you could really of made a difference on him
You wouldn’t give up on Brahms, and he loved you for that. You told him often that you were sticking with him, and that you would never leave. It was music to his ears. It was all he ever wanted
You could make him cry sometimes. Not on purpose, just when talking about touchy subjects. Brahms didn’t mind though, because you always cuddled up and gave him a hug. And as he cried on your shoulder, he realised that you were his whole world
Brahms had serious issues that you knew needed to be dealt with. It was just so hard to have the heart. He was clinging to you, tearfully begging you to stay and take care of him forever. How could you say no? How could you distance yourself? You never had a patient that tore you apart as much as this man
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lovingbini · 2 months ago
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the warmest human pillow
pairing: changbin x reader | idiots to lovers, light angst, pretty fluffy overall | warnings: stress from studying | a/n: gotta hide because my bestie didn't want me to post this in bullet style BUT that's all i got for now. love you, baby!!! promise the next will be written properly!!
ok, so you and changbin work together at a hostel in exchange for a room
changbin is the owner's nephew, but he's kind of an assistant manager around the place
you work part-time at the front desk
for the rest of the day you lock yourself in your room to study for a big project you're going to apply soon
your dynamic with changbin is kind of random since you don't give him much attention
yet he’s always acting silly around you
well, that changed since he caught you paying a girl to answer a test for you
since then he wouldn't stop coming through the reception with a knowing smirk plastered on his beautiful face
one day you got tired of it, "got something to tell me?"
he goes, "oh no, i'm alright. i guess you have something to tell that company"
and as soon as you got up from your chair, his aunt called him outside
he walked through and winked
two days later, when you thought you were left alone by him
he calls you after the staff meeting
"i need a favor"
"why would i do anything for you?"
"well, i've got proof of someone cheating on a super important test for a project application..."
"okay, alright. just tell me what you want."
you noticed how his smirk turned into a hesitating expression
"you remember my brother, right? he left for uni last week."
"yeah, he's a nice guy. i knew he could do it."
"me too. the thing is, our room has a lot of space. auntie stated that if i don't find anyone to share, she's going to make it available to rent."
you nodded, "but i'm okay with my room, i don't need more space."
"the second thing is that i'm having trouble sleeping alone. i used to have my brother as a safe place for personal reasons..."
"wait, you want to share the bed with me?!"
he started to nervously play with his hands
"yes, but just at night... you can have the room to yourself the rest of the day, i promise it's much more comfortable than the one you rent right now."
"if you start with some creepy behavior i'm going to ruin your life."
then you agree
in the first night, changbin watched you getting comfortable with your body pillow
he suggested, "you can cling on me, i don't mind"
"yeah thanks, just stay where you are"
but in the middle of the night, you feel him restless near you
“is this what your brother had to put up with? i thought company would help you”
you don’t see changbin awkward smile in the dark
“well, he actually cuddled me, so…”
“what? are you serious?” with his silence, you question, “changbin, please don’t tell me this is the only way you’re able to sleep”
silence again, then a mumble, “i’m really sorry, it’s something i’m working on therapy”
now you’re the quiet one, biting your lips in deep thought
“alright, i won’t pressure you about it, just know i’m the big spoon and that won’t change”
you take the body pillow that separated your bodies and pull him closer
changbin shudders when he feels your arm around his waist, his back against your chest
“is this okay?”
“it’s nice”
“great, now let me sleep, tomorrow’s going to be a long day”
changbin tries to hold the biggest smile on his face, although he didn’t have to
the alarm goes off in the morning, you find yourself with a leg thrown over changbin’s, who’s now on his back
he’s basically your realistic body pillow, but much more comfortable and warm
you feel his soft skin where his clothes don’t reach
you almost feel like not leaving the bed at all, but the alarm goes off one more time
(strategy to make sure you wake up)
unfortunately, the noise woke up the fluffy human pillow under you as well
“morning, sorry for waking you up like this”
“it’s okay, i overslept, to be honest”
he doesn’t tell you it’s been a while since he slept so well
the two of you exchange glances, somehow waiting who’s getting up first
even you are surprise to not be the one sprinting away from him
not wanting to cause any more bother, changbin moves away
you convince yourself that the cold air that hits you it’s because of the blanket that slipped a little, not because of the lack of his warmness
the days go by with the usual stress
both of you take care of the hostel by day, then find comfort in each other by night
none of this is weird at all, since you’re always too tired to argue
changbin’s not that bad as well
his silly antics decrease when he realizes how quiet and serious you get when focusing on the project
one fine afternoon he catches you crying in front of your laptop screen
the exam for this stage of the project is even more difficult, and yet you can’t go through that freaking subject
the one you pay the girl to do for you
but she wasn’t available that week, so you ended up in a crisis, wondering why on earth you couldn’t get that through your brain
“listen, breathe for me, okay? let’s get yourself together first,” he guides you patiently
when you feel able to focus on him again, he puts one hand over your cheek
the warm feeling is familiar, working like some kind of anchor
“i can’t do the test for you, but we can study together. how long do we have?”
“two weeks only”
“two weeks are enough, let’s just work hard, alright?”
you just stare at him, trying to process how you got to this point of intimacy
the point of making you feel like hugging and kissing him till you both are out of breath
“okay, let’s do it”
changbin nods, scanning your face with a small smile
“i find this mole under your eye the cutest thing, you know?”
you put a hand over his – the one still on your cheek
“you’re not subtle with your pretty words and pretty eyes, okay?”
“oh? i mean, it’s all part of a plan, to be honest”
“talk to me”
“a study break, our bed, some cuddles, some kisses, if you’re interested. then more cuddles, maybe more kisses…”
“okay! i’m in! no more convincing!”
you get up and run straight to the bed, hearing his giggles echo through the room
your hearts now heavy only with one knows by love and joy
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harryforvogue · 1 year ago
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Harry sets the hair dryer down on the table beside Yasmine’s shoulder. Her eyes blink open to glance at him curiously through the mirror, hand already reaching for the dryer to take over. “Got tired?”
He shakes his head, staring back at her reflection with a pensive look.
It was his idea to dry her hair for her since her arms were sore from yesterday's therapy. Despite taking a hot bath immediately after to soothe her muscles, the ache had made it tough this morning. They’d showered together, Harry’s gentle fingers massaging the shampoo into her scalp, gliding the conditioner down her ends, and his palms carefully smearing over her eyes to remove any suds from her face. He’d held her jaw in his hands and bent down to kiss her softly, thumbs rubbing over her wet cheeks. 
He’d usually be handsy in the shower, but this time he only held her and kissed her face, eyes never straying from hers. It unnerved her for him to be so silent, but it also excited her to have all his attention.
“What is it?” she asks him, because a silent Harry is something to be worried about.
Harry almost smiles at the immediate frown on her face. It’s a default expression for her, and oh how he loves it. “What do you think about marriage?”
Yasmine freezes. The frown disappears, but it’s now replaced by apprehension.
“Marriage,” she repeats.
“Mhmm.” He runs his thumb over the back of her neck. She shivers.
“It’s. Well, it’s marriage.”
“Astute, my love.”
“It’s legally binding.”
“That it is.”
“Webster Dictionary defines it as–”
“Yasmine,” Harry says quietly, but firmly. “First thought that comes into your head. Go. Marriage.”
She blinks and automatically replies, “You, of course.” And then she has the audacity to look concerned with her own answer. “Oh.”
He smiles fully then, whirling her around so she can see his face. She looks up at him quizzically, but lets him push her hair back over her shoulders. Instead of kissing her, he hugs her to his torso, pressing her face into his stomach. “Okay.”
“Okay?” she says, muffled against his shirt. 
“Just wanted to see something.”
He squeezes her tightly, hard enough to make her wince, but not hard enough to make her cry out. He smooths his hands down her back then, and then releases her, reaching for the dryer again.
“Whoa,” Yasmine says, placing her hand on his to stop him. “Listen, I’m not a very big romantic person, but there’s no way I’m going to allow you to propose to me while you’re drying my hair!”
Harry ponders over this for a minute. “Would it help if I got on one knee?” And then he does so, bringing the dryer along with him.
“Harry!” She puts her hands on each shoulder, scooting closer to him. The wild look in her eyes is still there, but it’s now mixed with…delight?
He shakes his head. “Yasmine, you have no faith in me. Why would I propose to you like this?”
“I don’t know! Why are you asking me about marriage?”
He gives her a pointed look. “We’ve been dating for over a year, not to mention you made me wait throughout grad school for you to come around. I hope you know that I’m fully committed to you and would like a life with you. You are mine. This is it for me.”
Yasmine feels her face flush, swallowing hard. Her heart hammers in her chest and the entire world melts away. It’s just her and this ridiculous gem of a man. “I thought that was a given. And unspoken.”
“It was. But now I’m saying it out loud so you know. Because I know things get lost between us sometimes, but I need to be clear now.”
Oh.
“I started dating you knowing you were the last woman I’d be with. I will do many, many things to ensure that. I will let you win as many fights as you want, put up with your worst habits if the need be. And I need to know if we’re on the same page about this.”
Something inside her squeezes. He looks so serious, eyes unwavering, jaw set, that it makes her shiver again. He’s rarely ever this intense about anything. His hand strays from the dryer, taking one of her hands instead, pressing her open palm to his heart.
“Of course,” Yasmine blurts. She grabs his shirt, tugging him a little closer. “We’re on the same page about that. You can’t get rid of me now.”
Harry nods once. “Good.” He then kisses the top of her head and then stands, her hand falling away when he reaches his full height. He manually turns back around and parts her hair once more, ready to dry it again.
“Harry,” she says before she gets drowned out.
“Hm?”
“I don’t have high expectations about a proposal. I need to clarify that.”
He finally smiles, his eyes clearing. He kisses her head again, more firmly, and then sighs against her. “It’s been years and you still think so little about my wooing skills.”
“I’m just saying. It doesn't have to be big.”
“I know, baby.”
The pet name makes her inwardly soar. “But just not while drying my hair.”
“It would make me happy,” he admits softly. “To propose while taking care of you. Something I consider my only purpose.”
“I mean it.” She tries to sound strict, her breath catching at the confession. She fails completely.
“I know,” he says again, and then hugs her tightly. “I know.”
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svt-kiki · 3 months ago
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( 🩹 ) FEEL THE TEMPERATURE  ⌅ .
         MDNi 。。 one night stand(s) and flirts
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✦ SEXUAL CONTENTS 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗱𝗻𝗶 cw. pet names, possessive, one sided pining, sub!kiki, kiki being dull to others romantic feelings, mentions to sexual acts in general, threesome
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𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐋
lose innocence to each other ™
seungcheol has the hardest crush on her throughout trainee days, and kiki liked back too, but both were afraid to take actions and risk everything
they slept after seventeen’s debut was decided, made a promise this is the first and the last
lots of messy kisses, happy sad tears, giggles and comforts
and they kept the promise... for a while
started to making out again around 2017 to 2018, get laid time to time since then
after the concert sex with a heat 🫣
they just know each other so well, aware exactly what to do
kiki is kinda passive when it comes to intimate sessions, got turned on only when someone she trusts or loves flirts her directly with intention ( kinda demi sexual / recipro sexual-ish )
but oh after he build up his body so well like that 🫦
not he insists her to sit on his face especially during his injury
cheol kisses every inches of her body like unless he would die
he loves how she takes him so well when he gaves deep penetration
“words, honey.”
“you doing so well babe, so fucking good around me,”
PET NAMES
“c-cheol, wait, i can’t take this anymore,” “then just use safe words sweetheart. no? interesting.” *smirks*
possessive possessive possessive
“you may fool around with other guys but i don’t care. you are made for me and the body knows it.”
actually, he cares but tries his best to hold back and not be too much
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𝐈𝐌 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐍
friends with benefits ft. one sided pining
they were good friends for years, he kinda had a slight feeling for her from beginning but nothing deep that just make platonic friendship and mutual respect more stronger
until 2019
they both had a tough time back then, started make some songs together for fun and self-therapy
then had a drink too much the night celebrating the release of their first collab song
ended up wake up in the same bed, naked
she hadn’t remembered the every details but he did, made him kinda obsessed with her
they have a good bed chem indeed
some of his songs are inspired from her cough god damn and lure cough
like why you think he shot the mv in hokkaido at first place??
lots of teasing, like, lots of it
“hmm, like that? if you can’t tell i’ll teach you.”
“you want gentle? wrong fucking address.”
whispers dirty words into her ear in english with deep voices it can make her cum pretty easily
“god you taste like heaven,”
changkyun knows a lot, takes her to whole new level in the bed, kinda eye-opening experience for her ngl
he can eats her out and left no crumbs 😮‍💨
“you keep your hands where they are or i’ll tie them up.”
and she might like that
he knew this feeling won’t sit right between them so just act like cool and gets extra in bed instead
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𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘𝐔
he’s her bad little squishy
this is the last thing she wanted to do but who can unbend their morals and resist him?
he also kinda obsessed with her throughout the time, ( i mean lots of people are ) mixture of crush, love, longing and possessive
just no one is better than her and he always knew it
something rarely, first happened in 2020
mingyu learned how to make her say yes, finally
and kiki lost the reasons to not
“trust me, i’ll take good care of you, okay?”
“noona so cute, being fuzzy like this under me, because of me.”
get the man like him, being gentle!dom and down bad at the same time
“don’t be so serious, we just have fun, no one hurts. right? i mean unless you want to-” “kim mingyu!” *smacks*
“i need you so bad, noona, please, i’m going to be crazy,”
that hands and fingers, able to create a mess as much as (s)he wants
“have a little trust in yourself, i know you can take it.”
kiki can use him like a boy toy if she wants to and he would thank her for it ( not that she will but that’s how their dynamics work )
deep thrusts, fingering, fuck like a nothing while her legs on his shoulders
🚨 overstimulation 🚨
his length can streches her out so well, surprisingly
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𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘𝐔 & 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐋
oh there they go
kiki and cheol’s relation is half open secret among the group, so mingyu was willing for the idea first
happened somewhere in fts era
three of them went a casual dinner, mingyu was staring at her with desire and flirted with her in the language only they knew the whole time and she noticed it but tried to keep it cool ( not a miserable attempt buttt )
then cheol also noticed but didn’t feel bad or anything somehow
*gaze exchanging between boys*
“how about making special memories for tonight? i mean, with both of us?”
kiki just gave up on lining up the reasons why they shouldn’t, because at the end of the day, it was never why they, or she don’t want to
they got wet, or soaked in multiple meanings
the one whispering, kissing or touching while the other hitting the spot made her confusing in a good way
challengers who? they are the original
gyucheol do the perfect combo of competitive and cooperate...
“just a little more. you can take a little more, can’t you?”
“hyung, looks like she’s gonna cum.”
“huh, again? we barely even touched you, love.”
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𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐎
FIRST OF ALL
kiki almost threw up when she heard his age like wtf you mean you are not 90s kid while look like that-
happened in february 2024 while kiki doing collab work with måneskin in italy after attended milan fashion week
they already had been texting each other couple months since kiki had done the interview contents for the band ( imagine something like jennie and billie eilish ) in dec, 2023 in japan
kiki loves their music and they be like no way THAT kiki is our fan omg???
she always wanted to improve her drum skills because she thinks it’s the coolest instrument in the rock band so genuinely asks him questions and he likes that
their chemistry just kicked off right after they met
ethan longing at her and smiled her every time she looked him back that made her giggle
he was melting when she tucked his hair behind the ear with permission
ngl it made her surprised and blushy how they are open to the sexual topic conversation with casual and comfortable manne
ended up kiki think about how herself thinks and prefers intimate actions that she’ve never put into words before and surely was a good thing
all victoria, damiano and thomas willing to be the wingman kinda funny ( they be like go ethan just do it or you won’t get another chance with HER?!?! *whispers loudly* )
but she never thought in that way until he came out straight, running out patients
thought he’s kinda too young for her, or it can be inappropriate even tho ethan is already fully adult ( of course he is ) and nothing really needs to worry that much like she does
kiki overthinking but that’s bcs she was afraid to hurt him or gave him bad influence in any kind, which is never capable of someone thoughtful like her
“please tell me i’m not having a wrong idea,”
“i mean- it’s not but- are you really sure about this?”
“find out yourself then.” *leads her into the bedroom*
she secretly loves he brushes back that gorgeous long hair to bend down and kiss her and do more
slowly, romantic movements
he laces her silhouettes and spines gently, gave her a tender shiver
shower sex in the morning after ;)
they made a secret promise that they will be the only italian / japanese fuck buddy in their life ( half joke, half serious )
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(    📁    )   :   NAVI   :  MASTER LIST     
(    tag list    )   :   @smh-anon @jennwonwoo @angie-x3 @scarlet789
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lazydoodlesandfanfic · 1 year ago
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Accidentally Finding Family (Bucky Barnes X Teen!Fem!Reader) *PLATONIC, PARENTAL
Characters: Bucky Barnes X Teen!Fem!Reader
Universe: Marvel, Avengers
Warnings: HYDRA, mention of kidnapping, mention of torture, mention of death of family, mention of amputation
Request: Hi can I request a teen reader where she is kind of like Bucky and is a hydra agent that is from the 40s and the team finds her in a base in cryofreeze and Steve and Bucky help her learn to adjust to the future and maybe Bucky helps her deal with nightmares? Or maybe she also has a metal arm and he helps her become less insecure about it idk. Also she ends up seeing Steve and Bucky as parental figures with cute family bonding? Sorry if that’s all over the place!
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“Do you have any goals you have in mind for the next year or so? Next five years?” The question, targeted at Bucky, was being asked by his therapist. A few months ago, Bucky wasn’t sure what he would have answered with. A few months ago, Bucky was still filled with grief of a life lost, a life tainted with torture, his memories torn and ripped to shreds with only little fragments he could make out. But Bucky had done a hell of a lot of healing since rejoining his best friend. With therapy, Steve and Wanda’s help, those shreds of his past were being sewn back together, he’d come to accept that while his past is something he’d never fully recover from, he was still in possession of a young body, ready to try to live the life he actually wanted to live before HYDRA. A life with his new friends, and his one old one. He was ready to look into the future. 
He sat back, relaxing into the settee, thinking to himself, before he let his thoughts leave his mouth. “A family.” He started. He looked over at his therapist, who smiled, nodding and notioning him to elaborate. “I loved looking after my little sister before the war. I loved looking out for Steve when he was still a punk… I think it’s always been a part of me to want to look after and care for people. Biological or adopted… the idea of having a child, someone to look after, someone to care for, be there for… to be needed by someone… I’d like that.” 
“That’s definitely a doable goal I think. I think you’re finally in a place where you’d be able to be a caregiver. If you want to be sure, there are volunteering positions to help people at events- young children, camps for teenagers, so on, so forth. There’s also courses to give people more skills and knowledge on raising children that I can enrol you in?” She suggested. Bucky agreed. Not long after all of that, the session ended, and Bucky began his walk back to base to see if anyone had heard from the rest of the team yet. Almost all of the Avengers- except Bruce- had gone out on a mission. Originally he had been meant to go himself, but when the team found out that he had a session booked the same day and he might not make it, they removed him from it, knowing that his healing is far more important than another gun on their already overpowered team. 
About halfway through the walk, was when his phone in his pocket buzzed repeatedly. He felt it easily, and he pulled the phone out, seeing Steve’s name on the front, and he answered it, pressing the phone to his ear. “Hey Steve, I’m on my way back now, are you already back?” He asked Steve, continuing his walk. 
“Bucky I need to ask you a serious question and I need you to answer me to the best of your ability.” Steve’s serious tone made Bucky freeze on the side of the street. His eyes darted around the busy streets, finding a corner that was silent and hidden in shadows, and dashing over to it, before answering Steve. 
“Alright. Ask away.” Bucky answered. 
“Do you know of any other Winter Soldiers?” Steve asked, and immediately Bucky’s heart thudded.
“N-No. Wait, did you find more?” Bucky asked. 
“We don’t know… she’s a kid, Buck.” Steve answered. Bucky wanted to be sick, his mind already racing on what exactly they had found. A girl, a young girl, a child, according to Steve. And from whatever information and evidence they had found, it was enough to point them back to the Winter Soldier program and him. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut. 
“Is she alive?”
“Yeah. Yeah she’s alive, we’re trying to treat her for a few injuries, but we’re having issues… James I think… she’d really benefit with you being here.” He told his best friend. That seemed odd to Bucky. He was a mythical monster to the other weapons of HYDRA, used to scare them into obeying, and he had no doubt that stories of him, even after he had escaped, would have been used to bring fear, especially to children. Still, he trusted Steve and his judgement. 
“Alright. I’ll be there soon.” Bucky answered shortly, hanging up, and his once leisurely stroll back to base, turned into a long sprint marathon. 
He arrived back in less than 20 minutes, finding Natasha already waiting for him, her motioning for him to follow her. “How did you find her?” He asked her. 
“They realised we were attacking them and raised the alarm, and seemingly let her loose with some of their other agents to try and slow us down. That didn’t happen though.” Natasha explained, power walking through the base. 
“What do you mean it didn’t happen?” Bucky asked. 
“She turned on them. She killed several of the guards and scientists herself and we found her in the process of trying to kill the head researcher. He’s getting medical care- it’s 50/50 whether he’ll live or not, not that I really care. After we stopped her, she surrendered to us, but she’s not talking and won’t let anyone touch her. We really don’t want to restrain her Buck, since that will undoubtedly make her worse, but I realised she was bleeding from her leg and we think she’s been shot but we can’t treat her.” Natasha explained, stopping at a door, and finally turning to him. 
“How can I help with this? If anything, she’s going to have heard about me and become terrified.” He questioned, her features softening into a sad smile. 
“Can you take your jacket off and your glove? So she can see it?” She asked. Bucky’s eyes darted down to his arm, flexing his robotic fingers, before looking up at Natasha, unsure and confused. “We’ll introduce you, just… be as soft and kind as possible with her, okay? Trust me.” She asked. Bucky sighed, and with some hesitance, he removed his glove, shoving it into his jacket pocket, before pulling his jacket off, leaving him with just his short sleeve shirt, his arm on full display. Bucky nodded to her, and she opened the door, stepping in and aside to let him in. 
“Come on kiddo, I promise it’ll be over before you know it.” Bucky walked into the scene of Tony trying to talk to you, offering a small bag of fruity snacks, though you kept your head down and totally ignored his presence beside you. Bruce was on the other side of you, looking lost on what he can do without making anything worse. Steve was leant against the nearby wall, spotting Bucky and Nat first, and he stood up straight. Bucky glanced at him, before properly looking at you, and when he did, he understood. 
You were sitting on the medical bed, legs stretched out, your head low, and your arms hugged against your body. Your arms were what Bucky hyper fixated on. They were metal, both of them, all the way up to the shoulders. You had tucked your arms to the best of your ability under the thin blanket that already had a growing blood stain where one of your legs were. Bucky wasn’t sure what had happened to you that meant you had to have both your arms amputated and replaced by robotic ones, or even if there was a reason or if they just did that, but that didn’t matter right now. You were clearly uncomfortable with them being seeing, and your hatred for being touched was something that Bucky empathised with. 
“Thanks for coming so quickly.” Steve spoke up, making Tony and Bruce turn as well, and after a moment, Bucky watched as your eyes also looked up to see who was there, and met his. He was convinced he’d see you flinch, be terrified, and he would make this whole situation worse, but then your eyes left his, and fell onto his arm, and he watched you relax. You actually relaxed in his presence. That immediately made Bucky relax as well as he slowly stepped closer. Tony moved out of his way so he could be by your side.
“English?” Bucky clarified and you nodded at him. “Alright. I’m James, but my friends call me Bucky. I know better than anyone how scary this all is, and how you probably really don’t want anyone prodding or poking at you anymore.” He spoke softly, keeping eye contact with you. He caught in the corner of his eye that you raised one arm from under the sheets, hesitantly reaching for him, specifically his metal arm. He reached out as well, carefully taking your metal arm in his, and your eyes stared at his arm, as the metal sheets slid and moved to adjust, similar to your own, before you looked back at him. 
“They hurt you too?” You asked quietly. Bucky swallowed hard, knowing who ‘they’ were, and he nodded. 
“Lost it originally from falling out of a train, but they kidnapped me and did this… my friends have helped me adjust, and they want to help you too.” He explained to you.
“They…” You hesitated, looking down at your hand holding his, before continuing. “They took mine. I don’t know why. They just did.” You explained to him, and Bucky nodded along, listening to you while also clenching his jaw, trying not to cry. Trying not to squeeze your hand on accident because of his anger. 
“They were wrong for doing that, they were pure evil, and I promise you, you’re safe now, and they can’t hurt you anymore, I promise.” He smiled reassuringly. “As soon as we tend to that bullet wound, we’ll get you settled in, you can start school, be a normal teenager, or as normal as you can be, how does that sound?” He asked, and after a lot of hesitation, you nodded, and with Bucky holding your hand, you allowed Bruce to tend to your wound. 
You didn’t talk to anyone for the first week, other than Bucky, but slowly started talking to the others as time passed. They got you situated in one of the bedrooms on base, but after FRIDAY reported you kept hiding under the bed or locking yourself on purpose in the bathroom and sleeping on the cold tile floor, Bucky made the suggestion to move you into a smaller space. He didn’t have to go into detail when explaining you weren’t used to sleeping on a nice warm bed in a giant room, and how it probably felt alien and wrong to sleep there. Tony didn’t have any rooms that were smaller that could function as a bedroom, and it was Steve who suggested you move into an apartment with one of them, that someone clearly being Bucky. Bucky, like showing up to see you in the first place, wasn’t sure about that idea- worried he’d have a relapse with his nightmares and scare you, but he trusted Steve. Tony paid for an upgraded apartment- a two bedroom in brooklyn, still a small walk away from Steve if he was needed, and Bucky moved all his stuff in before they moved you in. 
“This is the place.” Bucky told you, opening the door to the apartment, and you cautiously stepped inside, looking around. Bucky didn’t have a lot of things, so other than a bookshelf crammed with books, an old radio, the bulky television and some photos before the war on one wall and another wall of photos from after escaping HYDRA. James wasn’t sure how you’d react to all this, so he watched you diligently. He walked around, leaning on a wall, just watching you. He saw your eyes look around, before you spotted his old radio- one that was close replica to the ones before the war- and you seemed to relax, before walking over to it, gingerly touching it, before turning it on, tuning it a little, seemingly disappointed at the radio station, before looking around, and spotting the pre-war photographs, and walked over, looking at them, and smiling. “You like them?” Bucky asked, walking over slowly. 
“They remind me of before the war.” You commented, before seeming to think and turning to him quickly. “Are you from before the war too?” You asked him. Bucky’s eyebrows pinched together. 
“Are you? Y/N, what year did they take you?” He demanded. 
“1940… 1945? I think? The war was still on…” You explained to him, looking back at the photos, spotting him in his uniform. “You were a sergeant?”
“Y/N.” Bucky stepped closely, gently grabbing your arm and turning you to face him. “You were kidnapped by HYDRA before the war? You were frozen?” He asked. You nodded. Bucky hated that. He hated that there was yet another thing you shared with him. Metal arms, HYDRA, lives before the war, being weapons, and thrust into a new world. He’d long accepted that it’s just his life now, but that it happened to you? A kid? He hated it. “Y/N… What do you remember about your life before the war?” He asked. 
You talked for hours. Sitting down on the couch, you just talked about all you remembered, bits and pieces, sometimes certain memories popping up from talking and you’d interrupt yourself just to talk about them. You told him about your parents, your dad being in the army, your mom working in a factory where they made ammunition and ballistics, where unfortunately an accident happened with fire and an explosion, and your mother was killed, leaving you alone for a period of time with your dad other seas and unable to return, and no other family to care for you, before you were sent to go live with a foster family until after the war. That family were actually HYDRA. You didn’t know what happened to your dad, if he survived the war, and if he did, if he looked for you or if he was told you had died and he moved on, maybe had a new family. Maybe you had a step mother, half siblings, maybe you were an aunt now… but you didn’t know. Bucky took the time to text your dad’s name and rank in the war to Natasha and ask her to look into him, and she responded an hour later with an obituary, and a date of death and cause. Killed in action. Bucky told you the news softly, and it was then you stopped talking. You sat there for a period of time, just processing what he had said, and Bucky remained sat there, waiting for you.
“...I’m alone, aren’t I?” You finally spoke up. “I’ve lost everything.” 
“Not necessarily.” Bucky pointed out. “If your dad was in the military, then there’s probably photographs of him. If any photos were taken of you and your family before the war, I know for a fact that Natasha and Tony can find them, and we can get them printed and framed for you, so you can have something of theirs… and you have me.” He told you. You turned to look at him. 
“Really?” 
“Of course. As long as you need me, I’m there. I’ve been through exactly the same thing as you, I know exactly how you’re feeling and I want you to be happy and to have as close to a normal life as possible. Since you live with me, that makes me your guardian. If you want to go to school, I’ll go to all your parent-teacher meetings and help with your homework. If you want to do after school activities, I’ll go to all your games and shows and awards. If you want to talk about the 1930’s and 40’s, let’s talk about it, if you want to talk about what happened with HYDRA, let’s talk about it or we can try therapy if you want. Whatever you want to do with your life, I’ll support you no matter what. I’m here for you, no matter what, and I’m not going anywhere.” He told you. You didn’t respond at first, and when you did, you didn’t respond with words. Instead, you crawled across the couch to be closer to him, wrapping your arms around him, and resting your head on his shoulder, and Bucky hugged you back. 
“I’d like that. Thank you.” He heard you speak. He held you as the sun went down, and only after realizing you had fallen asleep and he was gonna have to carry you to bed, that he realized something. He’d done it. He’d reached his goal that he had set with his therapist just over a month ago. It was totally unconventional, nothing he could have predicted, but he’d gotten his family. He’d found the child he wanted, the person he wanted to care and be there for, to watch grow and thrive and to help them with that. He’d found you. 
Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in!
*Not my gif
TAGS: @dailyteambucky @mxrvelsaos @klanceiscannon14 @marvelhoeingismyhobby-blog @bellamyblakemorley @dummiesshort  @freyathehuntress @abbybills22-blog @mutantjediavenger @theoraekensnotsosecretlover @alicedanganh @sleutherclaw @sleepy-coffee-bean @stawwpp @courtneychicken  @graysonmalfoy @bellero @originalpottervengerlock @supernatural-pan @esoltis280 @lady-of-lies @lenaswritingandstuff @macbetheliza @mandywholock1980 @cdwmtjb8 @caswinchester2000 @determinedpines @huntheimpossible @automaticbakeryfreakshoe
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fxlling13 · 6 months ago
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505
Dhawan!master x (fem) reader
Synopsis: you and The Master find yourselves growing closer when he agrees to try therapy with The Doctor again. However, Yaz can’t let go of the past.
Warnings: sexual harassment. Harsh words. Death. Yaz is really mean and annoying. Out of character master. Injury and blood. Allusions to smut but no detail.
WC:19.1k
“But I crumble completely when you cry…”
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Over an hour, it had been over an hour since The Doctor had taken The Master (kicking and screaming) out of the room with her. It may have seemed impossible at one point but, somehow, you and yaz found yourselves bored. Sitting in the console room of the doctors fluorescent tardis, you were bored.
“Are they not done yet?” Yaz groaned, giving up on scrolling through her phone. Even though it had to be done, the time was dragging. Giving the girl a short shrug, you spoke,
“The Doctor does tend to waffle.” You both laughed.
“True. But it’s cute.” Yaz grinned, causing you to roll your eyes playfully.
“I think you may be a bit biased of your girlfriend.”
“Also true.” She replied proudly, making you scoff half heartedly. Again it went silent, as you both waited for the aliens to return with little patience. Though, you knew what was happening was very important. And something you secretly wanted to work out. After a very scary and dramatic encounter with The Master, seeing him become her, finally seeing what it was he needed, she had formulated a plan. One that, at first, yaz was completely against. She wanted to bring him on board, as a form of therapy. This plan included convincing him to stay on board, allowing her to store his tardis within the depths of his own, taking away all his ‘evil’ tech, and giving him a firm talking to about his behaviour. Plus a lot more that was far too deep to get into. Yaz said that he would reject the idea, teleport right out of there and try to kill them once again. However, to everyone’s surprise, he did not do that. Instead, he sat in his med-bay bed, a deep scowl etched on his features.
———
“I have just one request. If I were to try this silly idea.” He grumbled, making The Doctor stand straight.
“And what’s that?” She enquired. You had Yaz stood at the back of the room, observing the whole conversation. She was apprehensive, nails half bitten off. You just focused on the male mostly, hoping for the best.
“I don’t want it to be like last time. You keeping me cooped up. If I do this, take me with you. Let me be involved and I’ll promise to try. Properly try.” The Master was serious with his words, sincerity in his tone. In front of him, the blonde pursed her lips in thought but eventually exhaled slowly.
“I suppose that’s only fair. Yes. Yes that can happen. As long as you help to make sure Yaz and (y/n) are safe on our outings?” Her eyes narrowed at him, really testing him and trying to push at his buttons.
“I can do that.” He said instantly, turning his head and locking eyes with you. Surprised, you smiled at him softly, hoping it would really reach him.
“Good, well once you’ve recovered we can get started on the process!” The Doctor cheered, clasping her hands together before ushering everyone out.
A few days later, you sat in your room. The tardis was in “night mode”. Something The Doctor had set up a while back to help everyone have a healthy sleeping pattern. Though, all you could think about was how The Master had been left, almost, entirely alone for three days. The Doctor had instructed you both to leave him alone, let him rest and his body heal itself. You imagined that she would be driving the man even more insane, and you wanted to check up on him, for some reason. So, against her word, you snuck down the metallic corridors until you found the med bay. Perhaps he’d be asleep? Or maybe even have escaped by then. Cracking the door open, you peeked in and saw him, sat up in bed holding a worn out book. You took a deep breath before slipping into the room quietly. Did you announce yourself? What did you even say? You had no reason to be there.
“Up late. Aren’t we (y/n)?” He spoke calmly, without even looking up from his book.
“How did you know it was me?” You asked timidly, watching him put the book aside. The Master looked at you, making you feel self conscious in your choice of nightware.
“I always know when it’s you, dear.” Blushing, you pulled at the bottom of your hoodie slightly.
“I didn’t mean to bother you I was just-“
“Curious?” He cut in, gaze fixated on you, as if analysing you.
“Well I was actually going to say worried. I know that being with The Doctor for three days, having her rant at you must be draining. But yeah, you can say I was curious too I suppose.” Replying, you played with your fingers, eyes wandering around the room. It was dimly lit by a few overhead lights, three beds and many cupboards fully stocked with medicine. The Master was taken aback by your honesty, not expecting anyone to worry for him. He cleared his throat to gain your attention once again.
“You can come closer you know, I won’t hurt you.” Taking a few steps forward, you tilted your head.
“Won’t? Or can’t?” You half joked, taking a seat on the chair beside him.
“I won’t. You know I won’t.” He said in all seriousness, giving you a pointed look. Of course, he was correct. In all the run ins you’d had, you’d never been hurt. The first time, he timed things so you wouldn’t get on that trap of a plane. The next he forced you into following him to Gallifrey with The Doctor, keeping you to the side as he imprisoned her. And every time after that, you were always off to the side. Only last time things went a little wrong.
“You’re correct, I fear my ears have begun to shrivel from The Doctors lectures.” His monotone voice made you giggle, knowing that he was of course just joking. Playing along, you looked and nod.
“Looks like it.” He just rolled his eyes playfully and sighed adjusting his pillows.
“What were you reading?”
“Oh, an ancient book from when I was young. I’ve actually read it many times. Close to a hundred.” Carefully, you picked it up and looked at its scratched cover. Galifreyan writing was beautiful but could never be translated.
“I can read it to you one day if you’d like? I imagine I’m going to have a lot of free time now.” The Master suggested nonchalantly, but you couldn’t help but to smile.
“I’d like that.” Putting it down again, you pulled your knees up and hugged them tightly. It was cold in there.
“What kept you up, hm? Surely not just worrying about little old me.” He teased. You scoffed, pulling the grey hood over your head.
“You wish. I just don’t sleep well, I sometimes don’t sleep much at all.”
“That can’t be good for you, you need your energy to run from whatever danger she puts you through.” His brows were knit together closely, taking more notice of your dark circles and low voice.
“Yeah but, I pull through. I just run at the back. Or let The Doctor hold my hand.” Giving a little shrug, you missed the way the males eye twitched.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He muttered, frowning after a moment.
“You’re cold.” His statement made you look to him. Not knowing what else to say, you just stood up.
“I guess I’ll go. Down want to bother you anymore than I already have.” Before you could turn away, The Master reached out and grabbed your wrist. Wincing, you looked back confused.
“You can stay, if you’d like? You’re not bothering me.” Shocked at his honestly, you bobbed your head slowly, allowing the man to guide you and sit you down on the edge of the bed.
“I suppose I already broke The Doctors rule anyway…” pushing up your sleeve, The Master scowled at the long cut that sat unattended.
“She didn’t dress it?”
“Well you did regenerate twice then proceed to get crushed by a giant rock.” You pointed out bluntly, not thinking much of it.
“Yes. But my body can heal itself like magic. Yours cannot.” The Master got up, walking over to the cupboards and grabbing a small bag.
“You’re not supposed to get up.”
“(Y/n) I healed days ago. Now let me wrap that. It’s my fault you got hurt in the first place.” Sensing some remorse. You simpered as he sat back with you and took hold of your arm. Wasting no time, he cleaned the wound of dried blood before looking more closely.
“It needs a stitch.” He let out, reaching back for the items needed. You chewed on your lip anxiously, eyes darting to follow his every move. Taking notice, he sat straight.
“It won’t hurt, I promise. See this?” He held up a spray bottle, then shook it slightly before spraying over the cut. Your arm began to feel like jelly. Quickly. He got to work and stitched up the top of the cut, wrapping it securely. You felt nothing.
“I’ll change the bandage for you tomorrow. Take this, it fights off infection.” In his hand sat a small white pill. Deciding to trust him, you took it gratefully.
“Why are you being nice to me? Surely your therapy isn’t working that fast.” He chuckled at your question, settling back into bed.
“No of course it isn’t. But I am trying. For everyone’s sake. The only reason I’m in the med bay is because The Doctor is running around, making sure my tardis and all my belongings are locked away.”
“But..I’d assume your TCE would be in your jacket..no?” You wondered, looking at said coat hung up across the room.
“You’re right. It’s still there. Go see for yourself.” Going over, you routed through his pockets, finding a lot more than just one device.
“You could have killed me by now.”
“But I’m not going to kill you (y/n). You can choose to be wary. I understand.” He almost sounded sad. If he was lying, he was beyond convincing. Your eyes suddenly felt very heavy, along with your limbs becoming tingly.
“Come here, love. You look tired.” The Master beckoned you over with his arms agape. It really did look inviting, and you found yourself going to him almost immediately. Helping you onto the bed, The Master pulled you next to him.
“ ‘was fine a minute ago…” you barely mumbled out, subconsciously shuffling closer to the man for warmth.
“It must have just caught up with you hm?” The realisation dawned on you, where you were.
“Can’t sleep…Doctor will be mad..” feeling a hand land on your head, The Master ran his fingers through your hair tenderly.
“Don’t worry about that. Rest for now.”
The next thing you knew, you were waking up in your own bed. Thoroughly confused, you got yourself dressed and quickly headed into the console room. Stopping dead in your tracks, your eyes met with his once again.
“Ah, (y/n) you’ve never slept in this late before!” The Doctor beamed, bounding over to you.
“As of today The Master will be hanging around, I let yaz know earlier.” You just nod, looking around for her.
“She left in a sulk, didn’t she Doctor?” The Master chortled, leaning back against one of the pillars. Huffing, the blonde shook her head.
“She’ll come round to it soon. I’m going to have a talk with her now actually. Will you be ok (y/n)?” She looked at you dourly, leaving you puzzled
“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” You crossed your arms, as she relaxed slightly before heading off.
“She was asking if you’d be okay alone, with me.” The Master let you know, slowly striding over to you. Now understanding, you let out a small ‘oh’ before focusing back on him.
“How did I end up back in my bed?”
“I put you there.” He stated plainly, idly scratching at his stubble.
“You..carried me?” Starting to feel slightly embarrassed, he just smiled.
“Of course. Though I must say, you’re very clingy in your sleep. It took a while to get you to let go of me.” The tone of his voice caused your cheeks to turn red, heat flushing over you.
“God, I’m so sorry.” You were quick to apologise, hands coming up to cover your face.
“For what?” Perplexed, he stood directly in front of you but you didn’t dare to move. Tutting, The Master gently tugged your hands away from your face, holding them.
“For being clingy…even if I was asleep. And I’m sorry you had to carry me when you’re recovering. I’m sorry I went into your room an-“ in a second, he placed his finger to your lips, effectively making you stop.
“Hush.” Though the word was hard, his voice was not and you just nod as he lowered his hand to hold your own again.
“None of that was an inconvenience to me, (y/n). I welcomed your company with open arms. I didn’t mind helping you sleep, or taking you to bed. Not at all. You should relax. I’m here for a long time, I’m sure you’ll get used to it eventually.” You blinked several times, letting what he says sink in. He welcomed your company. He didn’t mind. You knew he could by lying, but he seemed really genuine.
“I’m guessing you sent me to sleep too?”
“I did. For twelve whole hours. Don’t you feel better though?” He smirked, letting go of your hands. It left you feeling cold and you had to stop yourself from complaining.
“I do. Thank you.” You gave a half smile, hugging yourself slightly.
“Did The Doctor confiscate your weapons?”
“Of course she did, though she was happy I hadn’t shrunk anyone. She should feel lucky. All that rambling she did. And I’ve got more to come. Now if she were pocket size…” he trailed off with a thoughtful look and you laughed.
“You wouldn’t, who else would you chase and bully through the universe huh?” This time, he scoffed, shaking his head.
“Very true. I suppose I’ll put up with her for now. I’m actually curious about your outings. I want to experience that.” As he spoke, you took a seat on the steps, hugging your knees close.
“It’s a lot of running you know. Like a lot.”
“Yes I gathered. But don’t worry, I’ll help you keep up.” Even though you didn’t know what he meant, it didn’t sound very malicious.
“Speaking of, is there somewhere you want to go? Or does her girlfriend always get to choose?” It hardly surprised you when the brunette took a seat beside you.
“Yeah I guess Yaz does choose mostly…The Doctor does favour her.” You said, thinking it to be a little funny. But he wasn’t laughing.
“You don’t say. She left you with a gaping wound for almost four days. Stupid woman.” Taking a deep breath, The Master relaxed himself before turning to you.
“So where would you pick?” A million and one ideas ran through your head.
“Maybe, a new planet. With a proper civilisation. I’d love to wonder around an alien city. Just to see how they live day to day. I think it’s a bit boring for The Doctors taste though.” You responded wholeheartedly. The Master watched you talk fondly, admiring the way your eyes seemed to light up at the idea.
“I think it sounds great. I’d definitely take you if I could. I know just the planet.” Your eyes shot to him, lips twitching upward.
“Maybe one day you can?” The look in your eye made The Masters hearts beat at an unusual pace. It was so bright and pure, how could The Doctor not see it?
“If you’d let me, I definitely will.”
“Of course I would! I trust you.” You stated, smiling widely. He swallowed thickly, feeling his chest swell. Was it, emotion? Good, happy emotions? Just then, The Doctor returned with Yaz. The latter of which seemed startled at how close you were to the new addition. She went to speak but The Doctor put her hand up.
“It’s fine Yaz. They’re just talking, it’s a good thing.”
You found that over the next couple of days, he tended to stay close to you. Not that you minded, you really enjoyed his company. It was so refreshing. The way that he would sit up with you in the library, reading and discussing random things. Or eating breakfast together. He even stayed at night sometimes until you fell asleep. Everything you were grateful for, it made you look forward to your next adventure.
———
And that’s how you found yourself, sat with Yaz and waiting for the aliens to return. The last step before he was allowed out. She had to make sure he was weapon free, and discuss his explosive habits. You just wanted him there for the company, getting fed up of being the third wheel.
“She’s really drilling him isn’t she?”
“Probably. It’s all she’s been doing.” You mumbled back, resting your head on a higher step.
“I suppose he deserves it after everything.” To that, you didn’t respond. You knew what she was saying, but at the same time you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He’d been so kind to you.
“Right gang!” The Doctors loud voice met your ears and you flinched. Looking up, you found that the pair had returned.
“All done. So we can be off.” She went to the console, getting ready to set a course. The Master slipped on his jacket, wandering round until he was stood by you.
“Yaz I overheard you say something about the sea. So I was thinking we could go to this water based planet. It’s filled with hundreds of fish aliens. Every two hundred years they hold a festival. We can go there.” The Doctor rambled, punching in some numbers before pulling some levers. Beside you, the man furrowed his brows, knowing full well which planet she meant.
“Aren’t they hostile to humanoids?” He remembered folding his arms. She just looked at him.
“Not if we behave. Didn’t think that would bother you.”
“I am trying you know.” He rolled his eyes, masking his true thoughts behind her plan. Soon enough, the tardis landed and The Doctor head out with Yaz in hand. You followed behind, coming out to find a busy street, so full it was almost overflowing. She wasn’t wrong, every person looked like some form of fish. One man even had a sharks head. There were decorations hung up, stalls and booths of party materials and gifts. Yaz gleamed, holding the blondes hand and kissing her cheek repeatedly.
“God they’re sickly. How do you put up with it?” The Master shivered, looking away from the women. You shrugged, looking around at all the streamers.
“I got used to it a long time ago.” There was a hint of sadness in your response that The Master didn’t miss. his hand found purchase on your lower back, rubbing it in comfort.
“At least you’re not alone now hm?” For a moment, you stared at him. But he was right, you really didn’t feel alone with him beside you. Slowly, you began to really smile and The Master felt proud.
“Let’s explore shall we, if I walk off I’m sure she’ll follow” He was correct, The Doctor scrambling to follow him as he head off down a street. It was kind of funny to watch as she scolded him within the first five minutes. The Master just stood there letting her rant.
“She has so much patience doesn’t she?” Yaz admired, a subtle glare being sent his way.
“I was thinking the same thing about him.” You admitted, making the girl gape at you. Giving her a shrug you spoke,
“Yaz he’s literally harmless right now. He’s got nothing. I know he’s a master manipulator but he said he’d try. So let’s just assume he’s telling the truth.” Yaz just sighed, choosing to stay quiet. It was clear she wasn’t on the same page but you didn’t mind.
“I won’t walk off again. I swear on both my hearts, just please stop kissing.” The Master argued with The Doctor, leaving her highly embarrassed. Yaz too was blushing now and you just laughed.
“Right. Whatever. Let’s just enjoy the festival ok?” The Doctor said, taking Yaz and starting to walk again. Snickering, The Master glanced over at you and held out his hand. Moving closer, you approached with a small smile.
“Are you sure? I know you’re really trying to fit in but you don’t have to hold my hand.” However, you really wanted him to do so but tried not to seem that way.
“I know I don’t. But I want to. How else will you keep up with us running?” He said in jest, reaching forward and taking your hand in his.
“Plus, if you’re here I can keep you safe.” Your cheeks flushed over, smiling shyly and linking your fingers securely. He chuckled, carefully pulling you along the road.
“How are they breathing?” You asked curiously, realising that the fish were too walking around dry land.
“Think like, turtles and wales. They can survive in both terrains. Like that but more complicated. Some have tanks on their heads. Some have air holes. Some have the ability to adapt.” He explained well, looking over some chrome shaded shells. They were very pretty, different shapes and sizes. Glancing around, The Doctor was nowhere in sight.
“You really expected her to follow her own instructions?” The Master dawdled, moving along to the next stall. Keeping close to him, you just huffed a little.
“Not really, but still. If you weren’t here then I’d have been left on my own remember.” His grip on you tightened, pulling you to his side.
“But I’m here now. And while I am, you’re not going to be on your own. Come on, let’s find her before she has another hissy fit.” He reassured before taking off to look for his fellow time lord. Meanwhile, you felt yourself blushing once again, grinning to yourself like an idiot.
You both looked for over thirty minutes, the girls were nowhere to be found. Also, you noticed some of the locals giving you less than pleasant looks.
“God this is ridiculous. I agreed to her silly little plan and she just vanishes. What is she doing?”
“I don’t think we want to know, Master.” You muttered, earning a surprise laugh from the man. He smiled down at you with a subtle warmth to his features.
“Very true. Let’s find a place to sit hm? I’ll figure something out.” Liking his idea, you followed him to a stall with a few seats outside. He pulled out a chair for you, taking a seat opposite.
“Don’t try any of the drinks. You’ll get sick.” The Master told you, resting his elbows on the table. It was getting busier, the alien sky growing dull. A man, or what you assumed to be a man, walked by with a grimace. A few others were staring over with disgust.
“Why are they looking at us like that?” Your voice was timid, trying to avoid any unwanted attention. He scoured the area, clicking his tongue in annoyance.
“Like I said, the creatures here do not like humanoids. It baffles me that she still proceeds to bring her companions to places like this.” Realising your discomfort, The Master placed his hand on your arm.
“Hey, just focus on me.” Trying to do as he said, you hummed and kept your eyes on him.
“What if they went back to the tardis?” You thought out loud. The Master pursed his lips ever so slightly.
“Maybe. But what would be the point of that?” For a while, the two of you sat there talking. Mostly it was you listening actually, but you didn’t care. You enjoyed his stories, his adventures, even if some were slightly deranged. Even so, you stayed invested the whole time. Furthermore, The Master loved how you engaged with him, asking questions repeatedly until you could understand better. He could hardly remember the last time someone spent so much time with him.
“Why can’t I have the drinks here?”
“Well because, some are made from worms. Some have toxins in them. Some would send you straight to sleep. And others would…” The Master trailed off, like he didn’t even want to finish what he was saying. You knew though.
“It could kill me huh?”
“Yeah. So let’s stay away from them ok?” He urged, his concern making you smile. Giving him a nod, it was almost comical watching him relax. The people around you were very loud. A mixture of high and low voices. Some arguing, some cheering. It was a little overstimulating but something you had grown to know. Scanning around, something caught ahold of The Masters attention. Something that made his eyes narrow darkly.
“I say we just head back to the tardis. The Doctor would rather me be there.” The Master decided, standing up suddenly. Before you could say anything, he helped you up and began walking back from where you had come. He sounded serious.
“Is everything ok? Did I do something?” Worried that you had bored the man, you rushed to keep up with him. He just looked down at you confused.
“No, not at all. I just figured it would be the best thing to do. The festivities are really kicking off and we’ll get caught up in it.” He was half honest, turning back and continuing down the path. The street lights came to life, the locals roaring in joy. All at once, hoards of people gathered in the street and started to follow a parade float down the way. None of them seemed to care for social awareness, shoulders pressed together and screaming at each other. Out of nowhere, a couple came barging into you, sending you tumbling back. When you looked up, The Master was gone from your view. You felt your heart drop and got yourself up quickly. There was no clear route back to the tardis, the way was blocked by the parade. Remaining calm, you swallowed thickly and began to tangle your way through the crowds. It was hot, sticky and you felt as though you could hardly breathe. Before long, a creature spotted you and used his pointed fin to practically smack you out of the way. Your side hit a jagged wall harshly.
“Get away earthling!” A few others laughed before carrying on with their celebrations. Blinking back tears of frustration, you stayed against the wall as you walked, trying to just blend in and get through the crowd.
“Excuse me.” A grainy voice caught your attention at the end of the first street. Just one more to go and you’d find the tardis. To your left was a small shop with an open window. Just outside stood a tall man, face resembling a hairy frogfish. It was grotesque looking too, as though he cared very little for his looks.
“You look worn out, care for a drink?” Turning back to the window, the man produced a glass of pink liquid. Bubbles formed at the stop of the glass, a fizz to it. Remembering The Masters words, you were quick to shake your head.
“No thank you.” Perhaps the creature didn’t know how it could affect you, but something was keeping you on high alert.
“No? You’re too good for my drink? Just because you’re human?” It stepped forward, eyes filled with anger.
“No it could kill me…” you tried to reason but the thing just laughed mockingly, putting the glass down with a thud.
“I must say. For a human, you’re very alluring. Different…” something that resembled a tongue slipped out past its lips. You suddenly felt very cold, moving backwards.
“I bet you’d do so well…” It saw you as a new thing to use and play with. In a second, he was in your face, a webbed hand gripping your face forcefully. The other dragged down your side and groping your hip so hard it hurt.
“So small as well. So frail. I could break you…” the smell of his breath, along with his disgusting words made you feel sick. Your stomach churned. In a moment of desperation, you brought your knee up to hit him right between the legs. The creature groaned in pain, releasing you from his hold. You wasted no time in turning and bolting through the street. Ignoring everyone, you barged through with no other thought in your head, just get away from him. You took a sharp turn into a side street, hunching against the wall and inhaling far too quickly.
Worried wasn’t the correct word. No. Right then, The Master felt concern he didn’t know he could even muster up. Going back to the tardis wasn’t even in his mind anymore. That stupid heard of fish that cut you off were lucky that he had no way to harm them. He just had to find you as soon as possible. But how? The place was packed out, making it hard to move. Even so, he pushed through and shouted out your name repeatedly. The locals were shouting back, trying to push him out but The Master just shoved them back. He really didn’t have time for them. It wasn’t safe for you to be alone. Growing more and more frustrated, he sauntered over to a stall and slammed his hand down on the table.
“Have you seen a young, human, female?” The darkness on his voice put the fish lady on edge. She gawked at him for a moment before nodding.
“Well yes actually. I saw one talking to the lovely man who owns the bar over there.” For once he was grateful the creature was talkative and turned to see the bar. He ran across, looking around everywhere. But you weren’t there, all he saw was a door slamming shut. Deciding to pay no notice, he carried on, coming to a slight dip in the pavement. The relief he felt in his hearts should have worried him, but that didn’t matter when he took a peek down a side street. You were sat against the wall, chest heaving as you tried to calm yourself. He could instantly see a scratch on your cheek and rushed to your side.
“(Y/n)?” You jumped in shock, but quickly settled down upon seeing him crouched beside you. More tears filled your (e/c) eyes, your breathing still erratic. Tentatively he placed his hands on your shoulders, bringing you closer.
“Breathe with me ok?” you nod, doing your best to follow his lead but you couldn’t stop yourself from being scared.
“(Y/n) you need to try-“
“No no he’s going to find me.” You cut in frantically, looking past him to see the end of the alley. The Master tensed up, hearing the fear in your voice.
“Who?”
“The- the man. He offered me a drink and I s-said no like you told me, but he g-got angry. He was touching my s-side and my face and-“ you took in a sharp breath, trying to collect yourself even a little. “-and he said I was..small and alluring. That I’d be good..that he could break me…” as tears spilled down your cheeks, The Master felt his blood boil. He was seething, wanting nothing more than to find that man and rip him in two. The idea of someone touching you almost made him snap.
“I’m going to kill him.” His teeth grit together as he went to stand.
“No please don’t leave me please!” You cried out in a panic, grabbing onto his hand desperately. The Master was grounded almost immediately, ducking back down and pulling you into his embrace. Winding your arms around his neck, you cried into his chest. He let out a breath, rubbing your back in effort to sooth your trembling figure.
“I’m not going anywhere I promise. Let’s get you back to the tardis ok? Get you warm and where I know that disgusting thing can’t get to you.” He spat the last part, easily lifting you and starting the short walk back to the ship. Though you didn’t say anything, you kept a firm hold on the man and he knew you were listening to him. Stepping inside the ship, it was vacant, which he was glad to see. Whatever The Doctor and Yaz were doing, wasn’t his priority. You were. He took you through the ship to a room you didn’t recognise. A bedroom. Reluctantly, The Master placed you down on the bed and took a step back. Seeing your exhausted face left a bitter taste in his mouth and he hated it.
“Is this your room?” You asked, looking around the dark room and taking it in. The sheets were soft, black plaid, the bed frame made of mahogany. Around the space there were matching drawers and a desk that had piles of books. On the back wall was a lit fireplace, giving the room a subtle glow. It was also quite neat.
“Yes. The Doctor let me have a say in it. Do you like it?” The Master knew you did, he could always read you so well. Nevertheless, you nod a bit, rubbing your face harshly.
“It’s cosy.” Disliking how down you sounded, he moving to quickly find you some fresh clothes. A pair of plush pyjamas were provided to him by the security ship. Leaving you to get changed, he made his way to the kitchen getting a glass of water and something small for you to eat. It didn’t take long and once he returned, he saw you sat back against the pillows.
“I brought you these.” Gazing up, you watched as he set the items on the table beside you gratefully.
“Thank you.” You sipped on the water, soothing your dry throat. After hanging his jacket up, The Master took his place next to you on the bed. You dropped your head onto his shoulder, nibbling on one of the biscuits he’d brought you.
“Thank you for finding me..and for carrying me. It won’t happen again.”
“Don’t apologise. I couldn’t just leave you.” The softness of his voice was nice, making you feel less like a nuisance.
“Is The Doctor still not here?” Placing the empty glass down, you looked at him to see his head shaking. You just wanted her to fly far away from there, but of course she was always preoccupied.
“I wanna leave.” You whispered, feeling ashamed for how much that short interaction had affected you. Lifting his hand, The Master wiped your cheeks dry tenderly.
“I know you do sweet girl, I’ll make sure we do as soon as she’s back.” That somewhat settled your anxiety, tiredness creeping in slowly. Almost shamefully, you looked at him longingly, wanting to feel that safety once again. It would be so needy, so pathetic. More to the point, why would he do something like that? Perhaps there was a chance, yet you felt as though it would make you seem even weaker. Did that really matter?
“Can I-“
“You don’t have to ask love.” Without question, The Master slipped an arm around you, bringing you to lay flush to his side. The way your whole body eased up was instant, head resting against his chest easily. You allowed your eyes to close, curling into the man the second he allowed it. Seeing you fall asleep in his arms, The Master knew he was already too far gone.
———
In a fit of laughter, The Doctor and Yaz returned to the tardis hours later. They were arm in arm, brightly coloured leis around their necks. The younger even had a funny looking hat sat on her head. Not expecting it, they were surprised to find The Master sat on the stairs. His hands were clasped together firmly, anger still apparent in his eyes. But The Doctor knew something was wrong.
“What happened?”
“After you two ran off? Nothing at first. Then there was an incident but it’s fine. We just need to leave here right now.” even though he sounded urgent, the girls were apprehensive. Yaz folded her arms.
“And why is that? We had fun out there.” It took everything inside of him for The Master to not lash out. Instead, he looked at her slowly before standing.
“Yes. You two had so much fun. You’ve been gone for six hours. You both just left. I said I would agree to your rules, Doctor. Yet you’re the one being careless?” He scoffed, coming to stand in front of them. She knew it was true and hung her head in shame.
“Fly away. Now.” For once, The Doctor actually listened to him and sent the ship away into orbit. Even though he had left you sound asleep, The Master yearned to rush right back.
“What happened? Why are you so worked up?” Yaz was obviously confused, leaning back against the console. Only then did The Doctor realise something, her eyes shooting around.
“Where’s (y/n)?”
“Asleep. She’s asleep, let her rest.” He replied sternly.
“What happened to her?” The Doctor asked impatiently, now completely alert. Yet all the man did was glare.
“So now you care huh? You left her alone with me, when I’m supposed to be here to learn from you. You’re lucky I li-“ stopping himself from saying too much, The Master took in a deep breath and cracked his neck.
“One of the locals didn’t act too kindly towards her, let’s just say that. But I brought her back here. She’s not hurt. She’s fine now.” The Doctor let out a sigh of relief hearing this, putting her hands together almost in a prayer.
“Thank you.”
“Yes well, I said I’d follow your rules and regulations..” brushing it off, The Master just shrugged. Seeing right through this, the blonde gave a shallow smile.
“You’d have done that regardless.” She pointed out, lifting herself to sit on the console. Yaz, still confused, looked between the pair. Accepting defeat, The Master groaned and let his head hit the pillar behind him.
“Only for her. Not so sure about your little pet.” This comment set Yaz off, he could sense her outburst coming a mile away.
“I’m her girlfriend!”
“My condolences.” The Master said to her sadly, leaving the girl practically steaming. Before she could retaliate, The Doctor took hold of her hand.
“Ok, relax everyone. What’s important is that everyone is okay. I admit, I was careless today and in future I won’t do that.” The pair made eye contact, he could see the remorse there and decided to let it go for now. Moving away from the pillar, the master moved towards the steps again.
“I’m heading back to my room, don’t be up all night kids.” For the first time, something he said made Yaz laugh. Simpering, The Doctor nod.
“Look after her.”
“You know I will.” With his signature grin, The Master left to his room once more. You were still asleep thankfully, making it easy for him to slip in beside you. Instinctively, you shuffled closer and wrapped yourself around the timelord. He reciprocated this, holding you close and closing his eyes too.
———
Waking up in his arms the first time was an experience. Shocking you so much that you fell out of his bed. You were also so apologetic, saying sorry so much that The Master told you he was going to remove the word from your memory. Eventually, you came to realise that he really didn’t seem to mind. So, you began to let yourself indulge in that. Seeing how much you could get away with. It started small, with continuing to hold his hand when you went out on your adventures. The Master was easily ticked off, getting irked over the tiniest thing. Especially people with bad manners and attitude. Once, whilst he was telling you about the time he blew up an ancient sun god, you cut in with a very dry, sarcastic comment. “Wow, you actually do have plans that work out then?” You said, smiling mischievously. Thinking it would get you shouted at, you blushed when the man just gave you a firm look. Anyone else, he would have put them in there place. But not you. Then you began to spend even more time with him on the tardis. He even read you that book that he mentioned. You were so happy and it was obvious to everyone around you. Especially The Doctor. At first, it made her anxious. She thought that he had manipulated you, maybe even hypnotised you into being his loyal, little human. That was until she caught sight of the two of you in the library.
“So to chart the stars in a more..easy way you can-“
“Are you saying I’m dumb?” You pouted, not letting him finish. Sitting snug to his side, your legs were over his lap. The Master was wearing his round glasses, one hand on your thigh, the other holding a small sky chart.
“No, I’m just saying you have to learn. It’s a very precise job. In your time even your top astrophysicists can only do the bare minimum. I’m going to teach you properly.” He chuckled before continuing with his demonstration, your focus fully on him. From the door, The Doctor felt hope in her hearts, seeing her childhood friend seem so at peace. She knew she could trust him to look after you.
———
“See you both on Friday!” The Doctor gave Yaz a hug and kiss, before waving you off as well. You looked around for a second before saying goodbye and heading out with Yaz. Every so often you’d both return home for a week, to see family and such. You didn’t really want to go but you did regardless. The Doctor flicked a few levers before walking into The Masters room. He was sat at his desk, papers surrounding him as he inked up a journal.
“I see you still have that unnecessarily neat handwriting then?”
“You say unnecessary. I say, precise. Unlike you I can re-read my notes without having to squint.” He shot back, not looking up from his work. She just hummed, coming to lean on the wall by the desk.
“You didn’t say goodbye.” The Doctor pointed out, noticing the way he paused for a second.
“Well they’ll be back so, there was no need.”
“I think (y/n) wanted to say bye to you though.” He didn’t say anything, just continued to write down whatever it was that had his attention. Sticking out her bottom lip in thought, the doc sighed a little.
“She looked for you.” That made him stop. Sitting straight, he looked up at her with an unreadable expression.
“She did?” He asked, putting his quill down on its cushion. Nodding, she pushed some things aside and perched on the edge of his desk.
“I notice that you’ve become quite close.” Again he remained silent, just looking at her blankly.
“It’s good. It’s good to see you have a real friend.”
“We’re not friends.” He scoffed, dismissing the idea poorly.
“Yes you are, but you want it to be more.” The Doctor called him out, earning a look of surprise from the man.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The Master uttered, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair.
“Yes you do. You know it’s okay to feel that way right?” Letting out a huff of irritation, he just shook his head and retorted.
“I don’t feel any sort of way, Doctor. I’m here to ‘learn’ from you. To follow you around and stick to your silly plan whilst you try and fix me.” It almost amused her, how much denial he was in. But after thousands of years, she knew him all too well.
“Last time I checked, my suggestions didn’t involve reading stories and studying. Or cuddling in the library. It definitely didn’t involve sleeping in the same bed.” That effectively left him speechless, casting his eyes down to the desk bitterly.
“So you can sit here and say you’re just doing all that because of me. Or because it’s some ploy to get out of here faster. But we both know that’s a lie.” The Doctor concluded, drumming her fingers against the surface below her. Closing his eyes, The Master inhaled before returning to look at her.
“Fine, you got me. I didn’t think it would ever turn out like this. Makes me feel strange.”
“You mean happy?” The Doctor laughed, watching her old friend falter slightly.
“I suppose. It’s nice to have someone there, someone who really wants to spend time with me. She’s the first person in a long time to do that of her own free will.” He admitted, rubbing his eyes as he spoke. It was the sad truth.
“That’s good.”
“No it isn’t. I’ll just end up hurting her.” He spat, clenching his fists as that doubt crept over him. The Doctor simply shook her head.
“No you won’t. These past few months you’ve done everything you can to make her happy, to keep her safe. You never let her out of your sight.” It was true, he knew that. Though, deep down he felt that fear, like it just wasn’t enough.
“I know. But still, what if it’s not enough?”
“Don’t think that way. (Y/n) is really attached to you, and you have the biggest soft spot for her. If you’re both happy, then that’s all that matters.” The Doctor told him earnestly, placing a hand on his shoulder. For once, he didn’t shove her off. But could he allow himself to have this?
“I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this.” He half laughed, getting up and walking across to his bed before sitting on it. Grinning, The Doctor stole his office chair, wheeling it over to the bed and sitting in front of him.
“No it’s fun, exploring your inner emotions and your love life.” Her giddiness made him cringe.
“Ok. Never call it that again.” He grimaced, making The Doctor cackle even more.
“Didn’t know you had a thing for teddy bears.” Now just confused, he looked around until he spotted the fluffy bear sat on his pillow. Rolling his eyes, he reached over and picked it up.
“(Y/n) brought it in here last night. She must have left it by accident…” he snickered, looking at the toy fondly before continuing.
“You know she has clothes for it? Like a whole wardrobe, just for the bear.” The Doctor watched him, lips upturned. Guilt began to creep up on him, for being so wrapped up in his own mind.
“I should have said goodbye…”
“Yeah. But it’s okay, she’ll be back in a few days.” The Doctor reassured him. He never wanted time to pass faster.
———
Friday rolled around, The Doctor had parked the tardis in its usual spot and left the doors unlocked. She busied herself around the console, tinkering with a few loose wires.
“Can you pass me a clamp?” Holding her hand out, The Master moved around and gave it to her. She knew he was getting impatient.
“I can hear your brain ticking from here. Relax a bit.”
“Why is it taking so long?” The Mastee grumbled, staring at the doors.
“They’ll be here s-“ just then, Yaz burst through the doors.
“I’m back!” She yelled enthusiastically, running over hugging the blonde woman from behind. Laughing, The Doctor turned and hugged her back, listening to the events of the past few days. With a roll of his eyes, The Master sighed and leant against the console bored. Now he knew how you must have felt all that time.
“God if you two continue to smack your lips together I’ll throttle you both.” He threatened, rubbing his temples.
“Awe do you feel left out?” Yaz joked, hanging from her girlfriend’s arm.
“From you two? Absolutely not. How revolting.” Both girls laughed at his disgust, moving away from each other.
“Go snog in your room, just not in front of me.”
“Can I trust you to fix that circuit?” The doc picked up Yaz’s bag from the floor, looking at the man across the room.
“Obviously. I’ll do a better job and you know it.” He deadpanned, earning an angry look in response. However Yaz was quick to pull her away and leave him to finish her work.
———
You were only slightly late, well almost an hour. But your bus to Sheffield had been delayed so there was nothing you could have done. Thankfully, you found the tardis where it always was and head straight for the doors. Inside, you were met with a soft clinking sound. After walking forwards quietly, you came to see The Master hunched over the console, linking up two wires with clear skill. You’d never seen him working like that before, it was interesting. He was so engrossed in his task, sleeves rolled up and brows furrowed. Taking a piece of metal, he used a small machine to solder it in place and close up the circuit. Wiping off his hands, The Master stood straight and his eyes met yours. You broke out into a smile, rushing over and throwing your arms around his neck. Taken aback, The Master stood frozen for a moment, not expecting that at all.
“How long have you been there?” He pondered, coming to secure his arms around your middle. You hugged the man closely, letting out a small laugh.
“Not long, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“I wouldn’t have minded.” He sighed, wondering how he’d get you past the point of caring about that. Still, you stood in his arms content, speaking again once a few seconds had passed.
“I missed you…” hearing this, The Master felt the beats in his chest working overtime. He tightened his grip on you, not knowing how to respond to that. Though, he felt exactly the same way.
“I missed you too.” Even though he said it quietly, you heard, looking up and smiling happily.
“You’re blushing.”
“I don’t blush.” He scoffed, avoiding eye contact and suddenly feeling very warm.
“I dunno, your hearts are beating very fast.” You placed your hand against his chest, proving your point further. Although he loved your rare confidence, he couldn’t let you get away with too much. Taking hold of your hand, The Master easily manoeuvred you away from him.
“Oh, are they?” He tilted his head, stepping closer and closer until you were pinned between him and the console. Dipping to your level, he leaned in, his cool breath hitting your face. Your eyes were locked together, heat creeping up onto your cheeks. Shamefully, your eyes flickered to his lips before looking back up. He noticed, a smirk appearing.
“You’re blushing.” He teased, letting go of your hand and placing his own on your waist. You couldn’t speak, your words coming out in a jumble, and that pleased him. He loved to see the effect he had on you, it was thrilling. Noticing the hopeful look on your face, he placed a tender kiss to the top of your head. Stepping away he tucked his hands away into his pockets with a proud smile. You stood frozen, hands gripping the edge of the console. Footsteps could be heard approaching, The Master giving you a smug smile before moving to the other side of the console.
“Ah hello (y/n)…are you okay? You look a bit flustered.” The Doctor pressed her hand to your head in deep concern.
“I’m fine, just warm in here…” you lied, giving her a half smile and trying to collect yourself. Both girls were unconvinced, but you just tried to seem relaxed. Shaking her head, The Doctor walked around punching some coordinates into the console.
“So me and Yaz will be off now.” Snapping out of your daze, you followed her movements confused. Noticing this, she let out a noise of annoyance.
“Did you not tell her? I said to tell her when she came in!” Exasperated, the doc scowled at The Master, though she really should have expected it.
“Must have slipped my mind, I was distracted.” He lied, giving you a wink that went unnoticed by the others.
“Anyway. I’m taking Yaz to a spa for the day, after our last attempt failed. Is that okay with you?” The Doctor was going regardless, but a verbal confirmation would make her feel better.
“Yeah of course. Go enjoy your date.” Before they left, The Doctor gave her usual speech about making sure The Master behaved himself.
“You have my word Doctor. I won’t do anything you wouldn’t.” Holding his hands up, she felt secure enough with his answer and guided Yaz out of the ship. Now alone with him once again, you grew jittery. You were so close just moments ago, so close. You knew how you felt for him long ago, but over the months it had grown tenfold. A part of you also longed to go out into the universe with him. Just like Yaz got to experience with The Doctor. Sadly, wondered if what he did before was merely for his own entertainment. With your head telling you it was a game, and your heart saying he really cared, which could you trust?
“What are you thinking about, love?” The Master slowly made his way back round to you, stoping a few inches away.
“I just, wish we could go somewhere fun.” Being somewhat truthful, you lifted your shoulders slightly.
“Well, why can’t we?” This response took you by surprise.
“Because your tardis is locked away somewhere.”
“Who said anything about using my tardis?” He chuckled, brushing some hair out of your face whilst you tried hard not to blush.
“She really shouldn’t have left me to fix her console. It’s very easy to remove a DNA lock.” Giving your nose a little boop, you laughed quietly at his cockiness.
“So, what do you say?”
“What if The Doctor finds out?” You pointed out, so close to giving into the temptation he was offering.
“Come on dear, you know I’m better than that. She’ll never know.” Not even needing to hear that, it convinced you even more and you nod quickly. The Master grinned wickedly, spinning on his heel and beginning to expertly pilot the tardis. You watched excitedly, noticing how steady the ship was whilst in flight. Although great, The Doctor did have a hard time keeping in control.
“Where are we going?” Going to his side, he simply smiled down at you before the ship settled once again.
“Take a look.” He nod towards the door, your chest fluttering with anticipation. It was like doing this for the first time all over again. Pulling on the double doors, your eyes went wide at the scene in front of you. The first thing that caught your attention were the purple bricks that outlined a mechanical road. Tall, grey creatures were walking along, with black robes and oblong heads, their hooved feet carried them into several buildings in the area. Speaking of, the area was filled with hundreds of brightly colour skyscrapers, a mixture of slates, teal and sapphire shades. More to the point, there was actual flying cars, something you thought you’d never get to see. They moved in conjunction, keeping your attention for longer than necessary, watching how they’d ascend and descend whenever needed. Slowly, you let go of the door and stepped out into the new world. It was warm as well, not a cloud to be seen in the mauve sky. From behind, The Master followed you, making sure he locked the door. He didn’t want any trace of what he was doing for The Doctor to find, and a stolen tardis would definitely be a sign. The look of pure joy on your face made his hearts feel complete, as he came to stand beside you.
“Do you like it?” In all honestly, it was perfect, exactly what you’d always wanted to see. Instead of giving a verbal response, you rotated and hugged The Master. He beamed, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you from the ground with ease.
“Thank you, thank you. It’s amazing!” You told him, kicking your legs up behind you just before he could set you down. He pulled away, leaving his hands on your waist.
“I told you I knew the place.” You had a twinkle in your eye, realising he remembered that conversation. Taking your hand, The Master began to walk down the road until you stopped him.
“Are we safe?” It felt safe, everything felt very normal, though you’d had one too many incidents before.
“You think I’d take you somewhere that wasn’t safe? I’m not The Doctor.” He almost seemed offended, making you squeeze his hand tighter.
“I picked a date and time I’m a thousand percent sure nothing will happen. I triple checked.” This revelation nearly caused heart palpitations, she had never done that before. Tucking yourself into his side, The Master felt just how grateful you were and wrapped his arm around you. With another kiss left on the crown of your head, the two of you walked along the street as the steel cars soared overhead.
———
You genuinely couldn’t remember a time you felt happier. Even after a hundred trips with The Doctor, this one topped them all. The Master was taking you to every single place that caught your eye, peaked his interest or knew that you’d love.
“Oh there’s something else, over here.” Fingers laced together, The Master tugged you over to a smaller building with a metal veranda. He spoke to the towering alien, handing over a few small credits before receiving a cone in return. You both stood in the shade, keeping out of the way as to not bother anyone.
“What is it?” Looking into the cone, you saw little, dusted spheres. They did look intriguing.
“Sort of like a truffle. But with ice cream in the middle.” Using the spiked fork, he held one up to your lips, allowing you to eat one easily. It had a different taste to the ones from earth, sweeter and softer in texture too. It was evident that you were enjoying them, letting The Master feed you some more. On the other hand, he felt as though he was in a trance. You were just eating. You weren’t doing anything special or extraordinary. Yet he just couldn’t help himself. Lifting his hand, The Master swiped his thumb under your bottom lip, removing a dot of cream. Freezing, you blushed and gazed up at him with big eyes, which certainly wasn’t helping his conundrum. His hand lingered there for longer than neeeded, brown eyes wandering over your face shamelessly. He cleared his throat and tossed the his empty cone into the bin near the shop.
“Come on, I have one more thing to show you.” The Master sounded different than normal, more mellow if that made any sense. Still, you went with him blindly, walking through the quiet streets and admiring the architecture.
It didn’t take long for The Master to find what he was looking for and, after a brief walk, you gasped at the sight in front of you. Just below a pier, there was a glistening lake overshadowed by ancient trees. They grew ebony leaves, with white bark that looked so vibrant. Letting go of his hand, you rushed over to the stone balustrade, leaning over to see the pearlescent water better. It reflected of the sky, giving the surface a lilac glow. Amused by your fervour, The Master approached you with his hands clasped behind his back.
“Stunning, isn’t it? The bottom of the lake is lined with diamonds, they run below the surface of this entire planet. It’s how they got their fortune.” He explained, resting his arms on the stone wall and looking out at the view. And it was a good one, the landscape could occupy your mind for a while. But something else had it for now.
“It’s beautiful. Thank you for showing me this. Thank you for the whole day. I won’t forget it…” there was a twinge of sadness in your thanks, thinking it would be the first and last trip of its kind. The Master didn’t look at you, a tension in his brow. He was never good at comforting, or being completely honest. Around you, however, that side of him did tend to show itself more.
“I know The Doctor takes me to amazing places, and I’m so thankful but, it’s not like this. She’s spontaneous in the best way, and so lovely but-“ you frowned, unsure of how to finish what you were saying. To be honest, there was so much you felt you couldn’t say as it would ruin the day. Silence settled between you both, nothing but the ripples in the lake, and distant alien chattering could be heard. You were deep in thought, that much was clear, but he would never invade your privacy to find out what it was about. A question weighed heavy on his mind, one that he’d been mulling over for a long time.
“Would you come with me?” There was an unmissable tremor in his voice, breaking the silence and your train of thought. Slowly, you turned your head to look at him, finding that he was still unmoved.
“One day, if I pass The Doctors stupid test and she thinks I’m ’good enough’, will you travel with me?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation, your mind had been made a long time ago. The Master had his eyes on you in an instant.
“I’d love to go with you.” You smiled, telling him everything he needed to know. You weren’t lying, there was no malice anywhere. No more needed to be said. Instead, he moved closer, hands coming up to cup your cheeks.
“You really mean it?” His guard was completely down, letting his forehead rest against your own as he asked.
“Of course I do, I want more times like this. More of you…” You concluded in a whisper, as The Master trailed his left hand down the side of your neck. The corner of his lip twitched upwards, the confidence you knew all too well finally returning.
“You have me.” With that bold statement, he closed the gap and pressed his lips against yours, capturing you in a sweet kiss. A raging blush claimed your cheeks, moving your arms around his neck and drawing him in closer. It was as if the last piece of a puzzle was fitting together. Reluctantly, he pulled back, taking in your flushed appearance with pride.
“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been, keeping myself off of you?” The Master laughed at his own internal battle, thumbing your waist gently.
“Why did you? You could have kissed me earlier.” Your heart was hammering in your chest, liking that you’d both been feeling exactly the same.
“When I knew The Doctor could interrupt at any moment? No, I didn’t want her ruining anything.” Your fingers toyed with the hair at the base of his neck as he spoke, sending a small shiver down his spine.
“When did you become so considerate?”
“For you? A long time ago, love.” The Master pressed your back to the wall you were both once leaning against, his nose bumping against yours.
“Did you not realise, how I’ve been treating you? Did you never notice how conveniently safe you were when I was there? Don’t you understand, you’re the only reason I agreed to The Doctors mindless plan?” Your breath hitched at this admission, taking everything in.
“I knew you kept me in the clear but…you stayed, because of me?”
“Of course I did. Spending time with you is worth The Doctors incessant rambling. It was the only way I knew I could be with you, without anyone noticing.” The Master was so close, his lips brushing yours with every word he said. Once more, you blushed brightly, loving the flattery he was supplying.
“Honestly? I would have jumped at the chance..I’m glad you did stay.”
“And I’m glad you were bold enough to check on me, were you so worried?” Cocking his head to the side, The Master traced over your lips, and down until he was gripping your jaw with intent.
“Of course I was, I thought you were going to die. I hated seeing what you did to yourself.” It was hard to talk about that day, everyone was hurt, especially him. Seeing him laying there, under that rock, you thought you’d lost him before you even had a chance. A stray tear rolled down your cheek before you could stop it, however the man just left a kiss in its wake.
“Don’t cry pet, I’m fine, I’m still here.” You couldn’t help yourself anymore, pulling him down until your lips met again. The kiss was deeper this time, an outpouring of emotions that had been hidden for too long. His tongue pressed against yours, dragging out a guttural wine. The Master revealed in the sound, caressing the curve of your waist and dragging his hand lower. You were grateful for the lack of people in the area. Your hands moved to grip his arms and your lungs began to burn but you didn’t care. Parting from your lips, The Master left a trail of kisses along your jaw lovingly, then he moved back a bit.
“Have I mentioned how cute you look, so flustered?” He smirked, pecking your lips once more then finally letting go. You just avoided his eyes, finding the ground far more interesting.
“The Doctor might kill you if she finds out you know?” He just rolled his eyes when you said that, grasping your hand once again.
“Well she doesn’t have to know quite yet, does she?” Giving you a playful look, The master made sure you stayed by him as you both began walking again.
“You’re lucky I’m a good liar. She really wouldn’t approve.”
“Oh but I thought you wanted me to stay as long as possible?” He feigned sadness, causing you to giggle at his big eyes. You wrapped your arms around his middle whilst approaching the tardis, he made no complaints. Apart from the fact that neither of you actually wanted to go back, that is.
———
The Doctor and Yaz reappeared around five hours after The Master had got you both back. You were impressed with how precise he was, but why were you surprised? When they came in, neither of you were actually in the console room.
“What do you think they did all day?” Yaz asked, following The Doctor around as she piloted.
“I’d imagine reading or something?” The blonde shrugged, not paying it much thought.
“You don’t think he’d try to escape? Or what if he hurt (y/n)?” She exclaimed, earning a snort of laughter from her partner.
“I highly doubt that.”
“Why? After everything he’s done! He’s a monster.” Yaz came to stand directly in front The Doctor, clearly anxious. Sighing, The Doctor rubbed her arms.
“People change. Give him a chance.”
“I don’t know how you can say that when…” Yaz carried on with herself, listing multiple reasons of why she hated the man, and why he wasn’t worth the effort. Up the first flight of steps, The Master stood around the corner, listening to it all. A continuous reminder of his past and all the wrong he’d done.
“Don’t listen to her.” Your voice startled him, you hadn’t been there earlier. Instead of replying, he kept his ear towards the women talking. He wasn’t one to be offended by these things. No, he was more concerned about how you saw him. The Doctor could be very convincing, maybe even Yaz could get into your head. Suddenly, you stepped forward and tilted his head back to look at you. Knowing he was going to speak, you leant up and kissed him softly, keeping him quiet. Taken by surprise, The Master shamefully melted into you, holding your shoulders for support.
“Don’t listen.” You repeated once you pulled back, giving him a smile then walking down the steps.
“(Y/n), have a good day?” The Doctor grinned once she saw you. Giving a small shrug, you lied,
“It was okay.” Even though it was the best day you’d had in years. Frowning, Yaz went closer to you.
“But are you okay?” It was as if she was checking over you.
“And why would I not be okay?”
“Being alone with him?” She said like it was common sense. Giving her a slight glare, you nod.
“I’m fine, Yaz.” Your response was sharp, making the girl huff and look to The Doctor. She just pressed her lips together, unsure how she’d get her girlfriend to relax a bit. But she knew it was something that desperately needed work, especially if she wanted this attempt of therapy to work.
———
Their dates became more and more regular, which was fine by you. The more they were gone, the more you got to do with The Master. Each trip got more thrilling than the last. From seeing supernovas to ancient earth, you were counting the days until you could leave with him. Meanwhile, Yaz was just happy to be away from The Master. Her mind couldn’t be changed, she just couldn’t trust him.
———
One day, as Yaz sat at a candle lit dinner with The Doctor, she put down her menu and looked at her. Sensing some unwarranted anxiety, The Doctor looked back at her confused.
“When is he going to leave?”
“Why would he leave, I haven’t finished with my sessions yet?” Confused, the doc poured herself a glass of water.
“Because, I think he’s hypnotised (y/n).” Her statement made The Doctor freeze up a little. She knew that Yaz noticed your closeness to the man.
“Yaz, I think they just get along well. I’d be able to tell if he was using hypnosis.” The Doctor tried to put her mind at rest, but it was fruitless.
“There’s no way she’d choose to be close with him after all he did to us. To you!” It was annoying Yaz, how rejected her lover was being about the whole situation.
“As I said, people can change. He’s made good process you know? He really is trying, try to consider that they’re friends?” With that suggestion, The Doctor picked up her glass and took a sip of her water.
“Friends? I wouldn’t be surprised if they were getting it on back in the tardis.” Yaz scoffed, The Doctor almost choking on her drink. Coughing it down, she looked over at Yaz baffled.
“Okay, I don’t think that’s what’s going on. I also don’t ever want to imagine that going on in my ship.” The Doctor denied, shivering at the idea. However, she really wasn’t stupid and knew that she had to keep lying to Yaz. Just until she brightened up a bit more. If she did at all.
“Well I’m just saying, they’re a bit too close lately.”
The master buttoned up his shirt, fixing the cuffs with little care. You rolled your eyes, making sure his collar was straight.
“It’s like you want us to get caught.”
“That would be thrilling.” He chuckled, mocking your previous escapades and moving closer to you. You just laughed, hitting his chest gently before sinking down into the floor. Your back rested on the couch as you sat between his legs. Placing a hand on the base of your neck, The Master worked out a deep knot you had there.
“Achey?” He teased.
“Shut up.” You were quick to retaliate but just groaned as the tension left your neck. The male merely smiled, happy to help.
“I can hear them now you know, flirting. Disgusting.” His lip curled in distaste, making you laugh out. Resting your head on his thigh, you gazed up at the man with big eyes.
“That’s very hypocritical you know.” You said, earning a raised brow from him. The Master just leaned forward, placing a soft kiss to your lips.
“I know.” You really did love how brutally honest he was, especially when it came to the other love birds. Speaking of, he pulled away very quickly and seconds later the door opened. You busied yourself with a random book that was discarded by the fireplace. Behind you, The Master picked up with his work, as if he had a whole new energy about him.
“Ah there you two are! See Yaz? Everything is fine.” The doctor beamed, sitting herself beside the man on the couch. Yaz didn’t say anything, just looking between you both with reservation. In all fairness, you were testing the waters by sitting in that position.
“Good to see that you’re actually keeping out of trouble.” The Doctor nudged him on the shoulder, yet he never strayed from his papers.
“Of course, how could we ever get into trouble. She’s very well behaved.” The Master moved one hand, patting your head in a patronising manner.
“I think she was just referring to you, Master.” You told him, shutting the book and leaving it by your side.
“Well I know, (y/n) wouldn’t do anything out of pocket would she?” If only she knew, you thought after The Doctor spoke.
“Wow you’re writing fast, have you had a triple shot of coffee or something?” Yaz watched him stunned, seeing how quickly his hand was moving.
“Hm? Oh no, not coffee.”
“Did you eat something then? Like chocolate, that’s got a lot of sugar.” The Doctor added, agreeing with Yaz’s observation.
“Not chocolate, but I did have something sweet yes.” He stated simply, a smugness hidden in his tone. You had to bite your tongue, suddenly feeling very embarrassed.
“Got any to share? I am pecki-“
“No.” He snapped, not allowing his fellow Timelord to finish what she was saying. Everyone looked at him, them with confusion and you with amusement.
“Don’t be so greedy.” It was as if Yaz jumped at the chance to be annoyed with him. Stopping his writing, The Master slowly peered up at the woman with vexation.
“I can be whatever I want to be.”
“Ok, ok no fighting please.” The Doctor almost begged, clearly finding it hard to deal with them butting heads.
“We wanted to talk to you both, what should we do tomorrow?” She put the question to the pair of you.
“Oh we get a say do we, I thought only your precious angel got to choose?” The Master quipped.
“Don’t start that. Come on.” The Doctor shot back before a full on shouting match could start. Letting out a heavy sigh, he sat straight and put his hand onto your shoulder.
“Why don’t you pick?” You felt as though as though he was gripping into you to ground himself more than anything else.
“Oh so you want your favourite to pick instead huh?” The Doctor probed, earning a dirty look from her girlfriend.
“Well of course.” His eyes found Yaz when he responded, clearly trying to egg her on more.
“As if she’d ever want to be your-“
“A party.” You voiced your pick loudly, hoping to keep the situation calm. Smiling, The Doctor leant forward to see you better.
“Yeah? What kind?”
“A cocktail party, like a nice, classy one where you have to put a bit of effort into how you look. Is that okay?” You looked around nervously, hoping your idea wasn’t too mundane.
“I think it’s a fantastic idea! Oh and I know just the place!” The Doctor genuinely seemed very pleased with your choice, a large grin etched into her features. She began to ramble about the planet in question, about the fancy parties the richer portion of the place hosted. Still, Yaz was only engrossed in how close you were to The Master, how his hand hadn’t left your shoulder. Then, her eye caught onto something and she gasped in pure horror.
“Yaz? Are you okay?” The Doctor enquired, not liking that she looked so unsettled.
“I didn’t know you got hurt so badly the other day?” Upset clear in her inflection, she crouched down next to you and reached towards your free shoulder. Upon looking, you found that your sleeve had fallen off, leaving a dark bruise of full display. Coyly, you pulled the material over it and tittered slightly.
“Apparently I did yeah, must be from when I fell.” You bluffed, pretending it really was sore. It wasn’t a complete lie, on your last outing at a group, you had fallen down a couple of stairs.
“Poor thing, aren’t you?” The Master said in false pity, giving you those big, sad eyes. Unable to speak, you suddenly felt as though everyone was staring at you and just turned back to the fire. He had an irritating smile on his lips, returning to his work as a way to deflect. Yaz was still fussing over you, thinking that you may be in pain or need something for it. Having said that, The Doctor watched your discomposed behaviour, the redness in your cheeks and shifty eyes. She then looked at the man next to her, his overtly windless demeanour and self-satisfied expression. It was as if everything clicked into place and the realisation hit her square in the face. Mouth agape, a million thoughts ran through her mind. Feeling her eyes gawking at him, The Master muttered underneath his breath,
“You’ll catch flies if you’re not careful.”
“And you’ll have to catch Yaz’s hands if you’re not careful.” Speaking through gritted teeth, The Doctor brought a muffled laugh from the man. He closed up his notebook and looked at her. She really didn’t know what to do at the revelation, he knew that and smirked. They couldn’t speak about it in front of you or Yaz, so she stayed silent, putting a pin in the matter. It wasn’t that she was worried per-say, it was just unexpected and new.
“Honestly Yaz, I’m okay.”
“But it looks bad.” As sweet as it was, you didn’t appreciate the unneeded ego boost The Master was getting.
“She’s fine Yaz, come on.” Standing up, The Doctor pulled the young woman up to her feet.
“See you tomorrow!” Perplexed, you watched as The Doctor practically dragged Yaz out.
“She seemed very concerned, love.” The Master droned out in levity, making you turn round fast. Getting up, you practically pounced on him, only to be caught instantly.
“I’m going to kill you.” You said with fake fury, even though you were the one being held at the waist.
“I look forward to it.”
———
In the depths of the tardis, you rifled through the many wardrobes that The Doctor had. Each were filled with unique articles from all times, planets and periods you could imagine.
“What about this?” Yaz asked, holding up a mid length, tight, red velvet dress.
“Oh yeah that will look great on you!” You smiled, urging her to choose it. Yaz walked over to you with it in hand, trying to help you decide. But you were being picky.
“Come on, (y/n). Who are you trying to impress? Anything will look good if you’re wearing it.” She laughed, leaving you alone to decide.
Back in your room, you took your time getting ready, doing your makeup and hair with great care. It was rare you got to go to anything labeled as fancy, so you wanted to savour it. After successfully zipping up the dress, you straightened it out and looked in the mirror. It was black satin, off the shoulder and figure hugging. The boning lined your body perfectly, going down your middle and around the bust. Coming to just above your mid thigh, you paired the dress with some chunky black heels before deciding you were ready.
When you got to the console room, you found that everyone was already there.
“Sorry, was I holding everyone up?” You questioned anxiously, standing by the mechanism. The Doctor shook her head, looking dapper in her tux as usual.
“Not at all. We’re nearly there.” She let you know kindly. Yaz definitely chose the correct dress, having now tied her hair into a bun, it really suited her.
“Where are we going anyway?”
“SinCeria. A planet adorned with six, silver moons that rise every six-hundred years. They hold a week long celebration for it and on the last day, you get to see the event.” The Master answered you, slowly making his way to you. He was dressed in an ox-blood coloured waistcoat, sporting his favourite pocket watch and black suit pants. The sleeves of his ebony shirt were neatly rolled up to his elbows, hands away in his pockets. You blinked rapidly, trying not to make your interest obvious. The Master was anything but discreet however, clearly ogling you with no guilt. You felt small under his gaze, but in the most flattering way.
“And presto!” The Doctor yelled as the ship landed with a thud, sending you tumbling. Of course, you were securely caught by The Master, his hands holding just under your arms.
“Shall we head then? I’m well excited for this.” The Doc grabbed hold of Yaz’s hand, taking her out and holding the door open. You quickly followed, whilst he kept a possessive hand on your side. After exiting the cleaning cupboard the time lady had parked in, you found yourselves in a long, extravagant hallway. It was lined with gold architrave against ivory walls and a soft, noir carpet. Each alcove held a hologram, a collection of creatures in a prestigious uniform.
“They’re the former kings of this planet.” The Master told you, noticing your curiosity.
“They look like geckos.” You smiled, thinking that you looked quite sweet. At the end of the corridor were two of said alien, clearly guarding the entrance door. With a quick flash of her psychic paper, The Doctor gained entry for the four of you and the doors were pushed open.
“Oh wow..” Yaz breathed once seeing the interior. It truly was breathtaking, with high arching ceilings being lit up by crystal chandeliers. In the middle of the grand room there was a dance floor, donning black and white checked tiles. Around that, were round, glass tables fitted with matching chairs. The centre of them held an elaborate, champagne shade candelabra, flickering away. Looking around, you saw a bar on the left side of the room with a few smaller tables and people mingling. It wasn’t too busy, the evening only just having started. A band were playing adjacent to the bar, a gentle tune to ease people in whilst guests were still arriving.
“Happy?” The Doctor looked at you hopefully. Grinning, you reached over and hugged your friend close.
“Yes it’s exactly what I meant, thank you.” She just chortled, rubbing your back then letting go. Beginning to explain the usual itinerary of the party, no one noticed the clear irritation of the man behind you.
“-so in about ten minutes, things will really pick up, won’t they?” The Doctor finished her sentence, looking at The Master for some support. She didn’t expect to find him glaring daggers at her and raised her brows in bewilderment. If looks could kill, she’d be six feet under.
“Yes. It will.” He grit out, never changing his look. You wanted to do something to calm him from whatever it was that got to him, but you couldn’t in front of everyone.
“Relax mr grumpy.” Yaz baited, clearly not caring for his foul mood at all. He ignored her, scouring the area some more.
“Care for a drink?” A well-mannered voice came from behind, causing the small group to turn. It was another gecko like man, holding a tray of what looked like yellow martinis.
“Ah thank you.” The Doctor took two at a time, first for you and Yaz, then for her and The Master. Taking a small sip, your eyes squinted at how sour it was.
“What is it, pure lemon?” You coughed, covering your mouth politely. Yaz was the same, handing her glass back to the blonde. She found it hilarious, laughing so hard that she struggled not to spill them. The Master was quick to finish his, taking your glass and putting them both on a nearby table. More people had arrived, a shared vigour across the room. The music picked up in beat, just enough to move too.
“You two don’t mind if we go and dance?” Yaz asked, though not really needing the answer, as she was already pulling on The Doctors sleeve.
“Please do.” The Master practically hissed, which was now starting to worry you. The woman dismissed it however and rushed off to the dance floor. Now alone, you faced The Master with your arms folded.
“What’s the matter?”
“Everyone here is looking at you.” His voice was low, icy even. Bemused, you looked around, eyes everywhere quickly moving on from you the minute you clocked them. Suddenly, you felt very self aware and backed up into his hold. Wrapping his arms around your waist, The Master pressed a kiss to your marked shoulder.
“You see now? I also don’t really approve of you hugging The Doctor like that.” He rested his chin there on your shoulder. “Not when you look this good.” You giggled as he pecked the crook of your neck a few times.
“You’re too kind.”
“Only to you, dear. Come now, I want to show you why this party even happens.” Lacing your fingers, The Master walked you through the crowd, over to the other side of the room. You stayed close, still feeling as though you were being watched. Then you saw it. In front of you was a floor to ceiling, glass window, giving the perfect view of space outside. The sky was a cascade of deep blues and purples, bright stars dotted throughout.
“Look.” The Master pointed down, only for you to see the heads of the Six Silver Moons.
“In about an hour, they’ll be at the perfect height for viewing.” With a hand placed on the small of your back, he stood beside you guardedly. Simpering, you leant into his body, basking in his warmth.
“I would have brought you here eventually. I knew you’d love it, but I’m happily surprised The Doctor actually considered you for once.” He mumbled by your ear, his thumb moving against your side soothingly.
“At least you’re with me. That’s all I really care about now, honestly.” You responded, too shy to look at the man. You didn’t know what he considered the pair of you to be, and that did bother you a little. Were you just like a potential companion with a few benefits? Or were you more? Was it real? You doubted he’d succumb to a human custom, like calling himself a ‘boyfriend’, and perhaps he didn’t even want to commit to you fully.
“How can you think so low of me, pet?” The Master turned you till your eyes met, a scowl present on his face.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be reading my thoughts?”
“Well they’re very loud.” He defended himself, holding onto your waist securely. When you tried to avoid his gaze, he simply followed your eyes.
“I told you, you have me.”
“But what if-“ he didn’t let you finish, tipping down and capturing your lips with his own. You shut up very quickly, clinging onto his arms.
“Do you understand? Whilst I may not use your earthly titles, I consider us an official item, if that’s what you’d call it. As far as I’m aware, you’re mine and that’s not going to change.” Hearing him say that, filled you with an unmatchable amount of joy, a huge smile adorning your face. Happily, you jumped slightly and hugged onto him tightly. Chuckling, The Master swirled round with you in his grasp before placing you back down.
“Care to dance, pretty?”
“How formal. I’d love to.” You bit your lip to suppress your smile, allowing him to guide you onto the dance floor. Surrounded by other couples, he took one hand in his own, then placed his other in the curve of your waist. You held onto his shoulder, letting him take the lead and move to the violin central music.
Time passed swiftly, each tune different from the last. The Master held your hand, twirling you in time with the more up-tempo song. You couldn’t stop laughing, feeling so light and happy in that moment. He pulled you back into his embrace, your back flush to his chest. Looking up at him, he just grinned back at you.
From the crowd, Yaz appeared and rushed over to you both.
“The Doctor wants you.” She said, eyes fixated on The Master and sadly making him part from you.
“Shan’t be too long, ok?” He rubbed your shoulder softly, before glaring at Yaz then heading off.
“Wanna get a drink, (y/n)?” Nodding, you head to the bar with her, standing against the cool marble surface. All the staff were busy, but you didn’t really mind.
“Are you ok, like really ok?” The urgency in her voice did more than confuse you.
“I’m fine, Yaz. Are you ok?” You half laughed, resting one arm on the bar.
“I’m worried about you. I think you’ve been hypnotised.” She exasperated, and you heard yourself groan.
“Can you stop saying that?”
“If you’re being threatened or you’re scared, you know The Doctor will help you right? You don’t have to be freighted.” She touched your arm with care, as if what she was saying was true in any sense.
“Believe me I’m not frightened of him, at all. And he’s not trying to hurt me. Or you for that matter.” You said with certainty, trying hard to convince her. Yet, Yaz was unchanged. Standing straight, it was clear that her temper was rising.
“He’s a monster, (y/n). He’s clearly playing with you. Before long he’ll switch up on you and kill you. All of us maybe.” Now you were beginning to get angry, feeling a protectiveness over him. You knew he could look after himself, but you just couldn’t help it.
“He’s not! Why can’t you just drop it?”
“Because it’s getting out of hand now. You’re with him all the damn time!” She raised her voice, jaw clenched in frustration. People around you started to talk in hushed voices. Not wanting to draw any more attention, it took everything inside of you to remain calm.
“So what? It’s none of your concern. He’s doing exactly what The Doctor asked, he’s following her rules and being good. So what if I spend a bit of time with him?” Trying to play it down, you looked around for a bartender, hoping a drink might ease the argument.
“‘A bit’? It’s more than ‘a bit’! You’re practically attached to him!”
“As if you don’t follow The Doctor like a little puppy?” You shot back, making the girl turn red.
“Well I am her girlfriend! And she’s not a mass murderer!” At that, you gave Yaz a look of boredom, as you both knew of her past.
“Drinks ladies?” A voice cut in.
“Yes, thanks.” You responded without looking, fully focused on ending the stupid spat.
“Yasmine, I’m fine. You really need to stop this. It’s only going to get in the way of The Doctors sessions. He’ll get vexed and try to escape or something.”
“Good. I want him gone. He’s like a parasite and you’re his victim.” The hatred in her words, the pure desire to just throw him out was beginning to really affect you.
“What is wrong with you? You say he’s the evil one yet you’re the one being spiteful. All because he’s being nice to me?”
“Nice? You were dancing five minutes ago! He needs to leave before he brainwashes you into doing something worse.” Yaz was fuming, fist in a tight grip against the bar top. At your wits end, you just scoffed out a laugh.
“If you think dancing is the worst thing we’ve done together, you’re clearly blind.” Her face fell when you said that, dread slowly setting in.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yaz prayed she was wrong, but one look at your face and she knew she wasn’t. “No. No there’s no way.” She said in distress, covering her mouth in shock. “How could you do this to us?”
“Excuse me?” Taking a step back, you glowered at her.
“After everything he did to us? You’re going to just let it go? You’re going to..to..”
“To what? Say it, I dare you.” Your chest was rising and falling at an odd pace.
“I don’t even want to think about it. You’re such a backstabber! When The Doctor finds out, you’ll both be done for.” It was hardly a threat, knowing that The Doctor was a tiny bit more level headed than that. In fact, she sounded like a bratty child.
“What you’re going to go tell on me? Get us in trouble? Is she your girlfriend or your mother?” You poked fun at the scenario, starting to feel worn out from all the yelling. That seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back, since Yaz snatched her purse up into her hand.
“You know what, i wish you two would get yourselves done away with! I’ll be happy if i never have to see you again!” She screamed before turning and storming off. Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply. It was all too much, sadness overwhelmed you.
“Your drink, miss.” Mumbling a small ‘thanks’, you took the flute and shot back the green, fizzy drink without a care. It didn’t taste too great, but you hoped it would numb the emotional pain you felt. It burned as it went down, in fact, it really burned. More than the average spirit would. Your tongue also reacted strangely to the drink, an instant numbness arriving.
“I’m hope you liked it.” That grainy voice. Cautiously, you turned your head and came face to face with the same man from the fish festival. How could you have missed it? “As it will be the last you ever have” His hairy face brought instant discomfort. Then, you remembered The Masters warning: ‘don’t try the drinks. You’ll get sick.’ Panic slowly came over you, your feet moving you away from the man. The glass slipped from your hands, smashing on the solid floor. Who knows what concoction he filled you with, but it was nothing good. Yasmines final words were starting to feel more like a death sentence. Who knows how long you had before anything more drastic started to happen. Gawping, he just slid over the bar like it was nothing, taking a few lethal steps closer.
“Don’t worry. You’ll fall asleep first. Gives me the chance to do as I please with you. I’ll be able to feel as your body goes cold.” He licked his stringy lips with anticipation. You only had one thing on your mind, finding The Master. You’d rather die in his arms than with this disgusting creature all over you. The tips of your fingers began to tingle. Looking down you found them turning black, your heart going unnaturally fast.
“Don’t be scared, I’ll take good care of your body.” It cackled, reaching its fin like arms forward. On cue, you turned and made a run for it, ducking in and out of the crowds with it hot on your tail. People all around were showing their concern but you just carried on, looking around desperately for The Master. Your legs were getting weaker, black spots clouding your vision in a matter of minutes. You strained yourself until you could barely walk anymore, ending up in the far right corner of the room, in the shadow of the large window. The moons were nearly at their peak, sparkling in the night sky.
“No where left to run human. You really were too tempting to resist. I had to trace you across the universe, but it will be worth it.” Your back hit the wall as it was speaking and closing in on you. How could you keep yourself conscious, how could you get the attention you needed?
“Master!!”
———
The Master had found The Doctor talking with one of the royal guards, learning more about the planets eco system in the process. She had smiled once seeing him.
“You wanted to talk to me?” He questioned, being met with a perplexed look.
“Uh no? Why?”
“Yaz said you did?” He explained, gesturing back to where he’d just come from. He really disliked leaving your side when you didn’t know the planet.
“What? But Yaz told me she was going to find a bathroom?” Now they were both left puzzled.
“So she lied to us both?”
“It would seem so, but why?” The Doctor posed the question, resting back against the wall behind her.
“You know why, I imagine she’s telling (y/n) off for being near me.” Rolling his eyes, The Master exhaled and looked into the crowd. Neither of you were there now. It felt like something had shifted, like a penny was dropping. Where had you gone?
“I’m trying, I just can’t shift her mind.” Guilt was laced in what she was saying so The Master made no further comments. Glancing around the room again, he caught wind of something that made him lour.
“That man was at the festival…that first place we went. I didn’t know their kind were on the guest list?” Looking back at The Doctor, she saw who he meant and nod.
“Neither did I.”
———
Yaz had made a beeline for The Doctor, wanting to explode and give The Master a piece of her mind.
“You!” She screeched, stopping in front of the purple clad man.
“What are you and (y/n)?” Yaz demanded an answer, making The Doctor rush to interfere. However, he held up his hand in wait.
“You know the answer to that, Yasmine.” Choosing to be honest, the young girl was taken aback.
“You’re..together?”
“If you want to put it into earth terms, then yes you can say that.” The confirmation felt like a nightmare. She looked at The Doctor furiously.
“Are you okay with that?”
“Yaz-“
“No Doctor! He’s a manipulative asshole!” She was yelling again, making a few guests and a guard look over. The Master didn’t care to pay attention, instead he was searching the room.
“Where is she?” He asked, getting no answer when the two woman were still bickering. There was a nauseating unease in his gut, their voice making him wince internally. He pushed between them.
“Where. Is. She?” The sharpness of his voice got her attention back again. Yaz tried not to show her fear.
“Who cares! She betrayed us for you!”
“You’re literally the only one who’s hung up on this. The Doctor doesn’t even care!” That made Yaz snap back round to her girlfriend. During the dispute, The Doctor had been sane and calm. It was in her better nature.
“Master!!” Your voice rang through the room, alerting the man instantly. Without thinking, he rushed off in the direction it came from, pushing through with no remorse. Your hands were now fully onyx, with little feeling left in them. The creature was right in your face, a fin sliding over your front and making you feel sick.
“Humans are so soft…” his fishy breath hit your face harshly, and you used all your will to push him back. That made him angry, a fin coming down and slicing across your middle. You let out a whimper of pain, almost falling but keeping your balance.
“Stupid girl, you’ll be mine in a few minutes. I’ll claim you as my own, my own little human sl-“ there was a bright flash. When you looked, it was gone. The Master stood there, eyes wide with terror. With the dark colour etching up your arms, he knew what it was. Blood seeped out of the cut on your stomach. He barely put his stolen TCE away before he was at your side. With what little strength you had, you pushed yourself into his arms just in time for him to catch you. “You came…” even your voice was weak now.
“Of course I did, I should never have left you.” He said, pressing a hand to your stomach firmly. Tears spilled down your cheeks, the pain unbearable and the slowness of your heart really scaring you. Finally, The Doctor caught up just as your legs gave out. The Master was fast, picking you up easily and turning to the woman. Your arm fell limp at your side, head rolling against his shoulder. Seeing you, her breath hitched. Instead of speaking, she began to run, snatching Yaz on the way and heading straight into the tardis. Yaz did watch as The Master carried you down to the med bay, her last words to you now scarred into her brain. He lay you on the bed where he once rested carefully, then rushed around to try and find an antidote.
“What are you thinking?” The Doctor asked in a rush, going to help him with whatever he needed.
“I don’t know. I think he poisoned her, judging by the reaction. It’s like her body is..” he shook his head, swallowing down thickly. She’d never seen him like this before and it scared her. It was really bad. The Master was a mess, flittering about from place to place. He began to ramble, spitting out different ideas and treatments. Slipping in and out of consciousness, you could only let out a strangled noise of pain. It was kink your lungs were folding in on themselves. After giving a set of instructions, The Master went to you once again. Taking hold of your hand, he almost flinched at how cold you felt. There was nothing he could say, he doubted there was anything he could do. Even when the doctor injected you with a blue liquid, it was futile. How could you go from laughing and dancing in his arms, to this? In such a short amount of time. The room fell quiet, your laboured breathing made the atmosphere dense. They knew it was far too late. She watched as The Master stood at your bedside, running his fingers through your hair lovingly. Never being one for goodbyes, The Doctor made her exit in a flurry, making sure Yaz Stayed away too. He could hear crying, not that she deserved to cry or mourn you. Your head went slack, eyes closing as your final breath narrowly escaped. For the first time in a millennium, tears filled The Masters eyes, obscuring his vision. He didn’t stop them, letting them fall. The one good thing he had, gone in an instant, like a drop of water on a lone flame. He now knew exactly how The Doctor felt every time she lose her companions. How she felt when loosing Rose. All of them coming and going like breath on a mirror. Whilst he could live on forever. The thought captured his brain, the most obvious thing. He was your cure. Standing by the top of your bed, The Master rubbed his hands together furiously until they emitted a golden glow, then pressed two fingers on each side of your head, closing his eyes and letting his regeneration energy work its magic. There was no real guarantee that it could bring you back, but he’d risk a life to keep you with him. It was hard to tell at first, with his eyes closed he couldn’t see the gash heal itself. Your hands slowly faded back to (skincolour), life flooding your veins. Eyes shooting open, you sat bolt upright, breathing in so much it made your lungs sore. Everything came back to you at once, your hands feeling around the middle of your stomach. There was no trace. It was gone. Turning your attention to your hands you saw swirls of gold under your skin. The Master took his hands from your head, moving round until you could see him. It all hit you in that moment, everything that had taken place.
“I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was him. I should have know it was him. But we were arguing and I was distracted and-“ hot tears rolled down your cheeks, your words falling into one. The Master didn’t care though, wiping them away whilst sitting on the side of the bed.
“Don’t. Don’t apologise.” His throat was bone dry, making you take his exhausted appearance in.
“Were you…crying?” It was hard to imagine, but all the signs were there. Biting his lip to stop it from wobbling, The Master clasped your hand again tightly, relishing in the warmth and pressing a faint kiss on your palm.
“I thought I’d lost you. It’s been a while since I’ve felt anything like that. I’ve lost so much. So many people that I loved. I couldn’t lose you too.” Unable to stop yourself, you reached forward and wrapped your arms around his middle, your face pressed into his chest. This eased him greatly, his arms encasing your trembling body tightly. Hooking an arm under your legs, he shifted delicately until you were curled up between his legs. Neither of you cared about the dried blood or your ripped dress. It was meaningless now. The Master was cradling you like you could break at any moment, like you just did. Like even the suggestion would make him blunder.
“You love me?” Hesitantly, you gazed up at him. He met your eyes, cupping your cheek and leaning down.
“Isn’t it obvious?” He sounded bittersweet, eyes looking deep into your own. The unexpected confession only made you cry more.
“I love you too.” You choked out, soon met with a deep, passionate kiss. The Master never wanted to let go, holding you against him, feeling your tears mixing with his own. Your hands fisted his now ruined shirt, cherishing the intimate moment. Parting ways, you panted heavily, tiredness overtaking you all of a sudden. Though it was to be expected.
“It’s okay love, you can sleep. I’ll take care of everything.”
———
The Master laid you down in a pair of fresh pyjamas, making sure the covers were over you securely. He left the med bay, walking up and finding both women with tear stained faces. He stopped at the top of the steps, alerting them with his heavy treads. The Doctor stood, looking at him sadly. Beside her, Yaz was clearly inconsolable, sitting on the floor in pure defeat.
“She’s fine. I brought her back.” He said, making the girls eyes grow wide.
“Seriously?”
“You think I’d just let her die, Doctor?” He spoke in a low voice, descending with heavy footsteps. Even now, The Doctor was distraught, knowing they had all lost you for a few minutes. Knowing that the girl she loved had indirectly played a part in that. It was then that The Master changed his course of direction, walking straight towards the blonde. Going against his moral code, he reached out and pulled her into a tight hug where she quickly broke down. He held the back of her head to his shoulder, rocking his old friend as she cried.
“You really saved her?” Yaz asked timidly. The Master, still piqued from the date evens, barely payed her any notice.
“I thought you wanted to kill her. O-or to hurt her…” she trailed off, all her assumptions slowly fading into obscurity. The Doctor pulled away, wiping her face dry the best she could whilst The Master held her up. His hands ran across her shoulders in comfort. Despite everything, the time lords could never truly hate each other. After their lives, they needed each other. They needed that feeling of home.
“I said I never wanted to see her again.” Yaz carried on, trembling in her spot on the floor. “I wished her death…” she finished in a whisper. They both went rigid, The Doctor turned around in trepidation, her mouth going dry.
“No…”
“You said what?” The Master charged over, looking down at the human with a fire inside that couldn’t be extinguished.
“I-I was just frustrated okay? I thought you were-“
“You thought I was hurting her? Manipulating her? Taunting and playing with her like she’s just some pawn in one of my elaborate mind game?” He snapped with venom, making Yaz back away. She couldn’t speak, voice seemingly shutting down.
“Look what happened. Because of your closed mindedness. This is why I hate humans. With your self righteousness and over confidence. Always thinking you’re right.” The Doctor stood back as he berated Yaz, chewing on her thumb nail. Normally, she would never allow this, but it was necessary.
“Unlike you, (y/n) used her brain. She can see past the plans and the killing. Past all the mistakes. She can see me. No, I’m never going to ‘turn good’. But I am going to do whatever I can to keep her safe. I agreed to stay, to try. I was never going to hurt anyone on this ship.” The Master crouched down, glaring deep into her eyes.
“Look what your hatred did. Are you happy now?” He put the question to her, searching her face for a solid answer that would satiate his fury. Yasmine didn’t respond, choking back tears in shame.
“I said are you happy now!” He howled, making the girl recoil, hitting a crystal pillar with force. Now that she was shaking in fear, The Master breathed out a deep sigh, pulling himself up. Turning to leave, he gave her one last cold look and said,
“You don’t deserve to be sad.” Then he trudged back to his room, trying to freshen up. The Doctor could deal with Yaz, hopefully finding an appropriate way of setting her straight.
———
After taking a shower that lasted far too long, The Master stared into the bathroom mirror with confliction. Was his therapy working? Why did he feel guilt? Maybe it was just the day weighing on him. Maybe it was all real emotion. Gripping the edge of the basin, he took in a few sharp breaths whilst moving his head side to side. Part of him wanted to storm the place, find his tardis and steal you away. But you needed to heal. The image of you covered in blood was stained into his memory. It was haunting him. He splatted his face with cold water, throwing something on to wear then pushing on the bathroom door. What he didn’t expect was to see you sat up in his bed, the pyjama shirt he had put you in was now hanging from your shoulder. He missed that dark bruise he had left on you. A symbol to show the universe that you were his.
“You’re supposed to be resting, what are you doing?” His voice made your head shoot round, a smile on your face as he approached you.
“I’m restless. I feel weird. Like buzzy.” You let him know, clenching and unclenching your fists to price your point.
“That’ll be the left over regeneration energy in your system, making sure you’re fully healed.” The Master stood in front of you, eyes wandering over your form numbly, concealing any and all woes. Tilting your head, you stared up.
“You’re sad.” Your statement took him off guard. He just scoffed and looked away.
“You don’t have to hide it from me, Master. I want you to be honest, please?” That was all it took to bring his walls down. He got onto the bed next to you, flopping back against the pillows.
“I’m not sad, (y/n). I don’t know what I’m feeling and I don’t like that.” You frowned as he spoke, crawling up beside him.
“It’s like I’m overwhelmed by a hundred different emotions. It’s awful. I don’t know how The Doctor does it.”
“She’s good at masking her feelings, just like you.” You scolded the both of them, even if she wasn’t there currently. He laughed a bit. Moving closer, you started to play with his hair gently, smiling at the bouncy curls. The Master kept his eyes on your face as you did this, monitoring your smile and your bright eyes. There was still a deep put in the middle of his stomach.
“I was scared. Really scared. Terrified even.” He admitted, voice barely audible. But you heard. Tentatively, you started stroking the side of his head, hoping to help the man open up some more.
“And now I know what Yaz said to you.” You froze, making eye contact with him. “She said she wanted you dead?” You wet your lips anxiously, your hand resuming its movements.
“Both of us actually…”
“I don’t care what she thinks about me. But you? In that moment, when you were gone, I felt so lost.” He was tense, shooting knives at the ceiling with his eyes.
“You quell the racket inside my head. With you, I feel sane. I need you, (y/n). I can’t lose you” the more he spoke the quieter he got, your heart swelling in response.
“You’re not going to lose me. Why do you think I came here as soon as I woke up? I’m not leaving your side, ever.” You soothed, nails scraping along his scalp nicely. “And we can leave together. If you find your tardis we’ll go as soon as you’re ready.” Eventually, your words reached him and The Master relaxed, turning towards you. He pulled you down, holding you against his chest. Instantly you felt safe, nuzzling into him and hugging his waist.
“Trust me, we’re going as soon as possible.” In his mind, The Doctor and Yaz were simply an after thought. He could find his ship in a dual heartbeat, without them knowing, he was just that good. And, with you by his side, The Master knew he could take on anything the universe threw at him.
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avoxrising · 1 year ago
Text
The Feral One • Ch 20
Finnick x Y/N
Series Masterlist Link
I promise we will get into the timer stuff soon but I have to build up the plot first…
Content Warnings - None!
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You wake up to Finnick gone, a note left on his pillow.
Got called into training early. Didn’t want to disturb you. I’ll see you at lunch.
Love,
Your fake husband
Why was he in training so early? He said yesterday that his training wouldn’t start till after breakfast.
Maybe he was upset by what happened last night. Maybe he didn’t enjoy it.
You let your thoughts consume you as you lay in bed, completely skipping breakfast and most of your morning schedule.
A knock on your door pulls you from your thoughts.
“Come in,” you sigh to whoever was waiting. You’re surprised to see Boggs enter.
“Miss Y/L/N, do I need to remind you that you have a schedule to follow?” he asks.
“No,” you yawn. “I’m sorry I lost track of time. What time is it anyways?”
“10:34 AM,” Boggs states. “I’ve been instructed to escort you to your doctor’s checkup, which you are very late to.”
Boggs gives you a minute to dress before he’s escorting you to the hospital. He says Coin isn’t happy that you are already disregarding your schedule and is rethinking your living arrangement.
Prim performs your checkup that morning. She clears you for the day and you make your way to the cafeteria to help with lunch prep.
11:30 rolls around and you finally have a chance to see Finnick. Twelve hours felt too long and you were anxious to face him again. He was sometimes hard to read.
“Hey love,” he says as you sit down next to him with your tray. “How was your morning?”
“Meh,” you shrug. “I got reprimanded by Boggs for not following my schedule. I guess that was a serious rule.”
“Sorry about this morning,” Finnick states. “I would have woken you up when they buzzed for me but you look like you needed the sleep.”
“That’s ok,” you sigh, thinking about how sad you were that he wasn’t there when you woke. “Why did they increase your training?”
“Katniss snuck onto a transport that left late last night for District 2,” he explains. “They’re moving up our deployment timeline.”
“Deployment?” you ask, setting your fork down. “You didn’t tell me they were sending you anywhere.”
“Can we talk about this tonight?” he replies.
“I’m not hungry,” you state, abruptly standing with your tray. Finnick calls out for you as you walk away, needing to escape for a bit.
You end up back at the hospital to talk to Prim.
“Could I get an excuse for the rest of the day?” you ask her. “I’m not feeling well.”
“Oh no! Do you need medicine? What’s not feeling well?” she asks.
“I’ve just had a bad day that’s all,” you shake your head. “I can’t mentally handle a schedule today.”
“Why don’t you go chat with Dr. Aurelius for a bit,” Prim suggests. “He’s available now if you want to see him.”
You had never been in therapy before. Dr. Aurelius seemed nice but you didn’t know if you could trust him. What do therapists even do?
“Nice to meet you Miss Y/L/N,” the man states as he enter the room. “I’m Dr. Aurelius. Why don’t we start with how you’re feeling today?”
“Sad,” you reply, unsure of how to properly convey your emotions.
“Do you know why you feel sad?” he asks. “Or what made you feel this way?”
“District 13 makes me sad,” you state as the man writes something down in his notebook. “I have no autonomy here.”
“They allowed you to get married,” he remarks. “Are you happy about that?”
“Meh,” you shrug. “I mean I love Finnick but it was a fake wedding for a propo that we agreed to do so we could be roommates here in 13. He’s lived with me for 5 years now. I skipped my schedule this morning and Coin is already threatening to make us live separately again.”
“I see,” the man comments. “Do you find schedules restricting?”
“I guess I do,” you respond. “I mean I’ve spent my whole adult life on house arrest so I’ve never really been able to make decisions for myself. Having a schedule feels like someone is telling me what to do all the time.”
“That’s understandable,” he comments. “I can excuse you from your schedule for today but you will need to find a compromise with President Coin. I will provide you with a list of options for your schedule so you can maybe pick out what you want to do. I apologize that the list is limited but it’s the best I can do.”
You take the list and agree to meet with him and Coin in the morning to discuss your schedule. In the mean time he gives you a “mentally unstable” bracelet to excuse you for the rest of the day.
The list seems meh. You had no interest in learning about nuclear weapons or the history of Panem, and cafeteria duty wasn’t necessarily your favorite.
Reflection time rolled around and Finnick enters your shared cabin.
“You skipped dinner,” he comments as he throws you an apple. You reluctantly take it and eat a bit to ease his worry.
“You skipped out on telling me about deployment,” you mutter.
“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he moves to sit next to you. “I just didn’t feel like there was a good time to tell you. I was going to tell you before the wedding but you had your breakdown and I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Where are they sending you?” you ask.
“The capital,” he responds. At this answer you burst into tears.
“You can’t leave me,” you sob. Finnick wishes he could pull you into a hug but he knows better than to touch you when you’re upset.
“It will only be for two weeks,” he states. “Three at most.”
“What if you don’t come back?” you hiccup.
“I’ll always come back for you,” he replies.
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dreamgirlvibes · 29 days ago
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Types of men to avoid? 🚩(advice for the girlies). 🫶
Alright, girlies, here’s the scoop on the types of men you should be dodging like a bad Wi-Fi signal:
1. The Gaslighter – If you’re constantly questioning your own reality or feeling like you're always in the wrong, run. No one needs that kind of mind game.
Example: You get into a small argument about something trivial, like him canceling plans last minute. He turns it around on you, saying, “You always overreact. I didn’t cancel, you’re just being dramatic. I don’t know why you can’t let things go.”
This guy makes you question your own feelings, reality, or memory. He’ll twist situations to make you feel crazy or insecure. Over time, you start doubting your instincts because he's so good at flipping the script.
2. The “Not Ready” Guy– He’s always “working on himself” or “not ready for anything serious.” News flash: if he’s been saying that for a year, he’s probably just not ready *for you*.
Example: You’ve been dating for months, and every time you bring up the future, he says, “I’m not ready for anything serious right now, but I’m having fun with you.” He might add, “I’m focusing on my career” or “I’ve been hurt before.”
This man keeps you around because he likes the attention or the companionship, but he’s never ready for a real commitment. It’s like he’s stuck in perpetual "casual" mode—don’t waste your time waiting for him to magically decide to change.
3. The Emotional Brick Wall– If opening up to him feels like talking to a brick wall, it’s time to bounce. You deserve someone who can actually talk about feelings, not just grunt and change the subject.
Example: You open up about something important, like feeling stressed at work or dealing with a personal issue. He either shuts down with one-word answers, like “That’s crazy,” or says, “You’ll be fine” and changes the topic to something trivial like sports or the latest meme.
This guy is emotionally unavailable. He’s not into sharing feelings or connecting on a deeper level, which makes you feel isolated and unsupported. Relationships need emotional depth—without it, you’re just coexisting.
4. The Jealous Control Freak– If he’s constantly checking your location, questioning your friends, or giving you side-eye every time you talk to someone, that’s not love, it’s insecurity. Run before you need a restraining order.
Example: You mention hanging out with a male friend from work, and suddenly he’s on your phone, demanding to know exactly what the conversation was about, who else was there, and why you weren’t home at 10 PM sharp. If you’re out with friends, he’ll text nonstop asking where you are or who you’re with.
This guy sees your independence as a threat. His jealousy can be disguised as “caring,” but it’s really about him trying to control where you go, who you talk to, and how you spend your time. It’s exhausting and suffocating, and it’ll only get worse.
5. The “I’m Fixed” Guy – If he’s got zero interest in growing, changing, or taking responsibility for his mess, he’s not a catch—he’s just a project. And no, you’re not his therapist.
Example: He’s been through a series of toxic relationships and has a ton of baggage, but when you try to talk about growth or therapy, he’s all like, “Nah, I’m fine. I don’t need help, I just need a woman who gets me.”
He’s convinced that he’s already healed or doesn’t need to work on himself. But he’s emotionally stuck, blaming his exes or the world for his problems. He’ll drag you into his mess and make you feel responsible for his emotional growth—or lack thereof.
6. The Ghoster – He’s hot one minute, gone the next. If he’s treating you like a Snapchat story—popping in and disappearing without a trace—it’s time to hit the delete button.
He disappears when things get a little serious or he gets bored, only to reappear when he wants attention. It’s a cycle of inconsistency that leaves you questioning your worth and wondering if you’re ever actually a priority in his life.
Example: He’s super hot and cold. One day, he’s sending you sweet texts and making plans for the weekend. The next, he’s gone without a trace for days. You text him asking what's up, and he replies with something vague like, “Sorry, been busy with life.”
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Bottom line: Don’t settle for someone who makes you feel anything less than valued and respected. Avoid guys who make you feel less than you deserve. A healthy relationship should feel secure, supportive, and balanced, not full of manipulation, confusion, or control. Don’t let anyone treat you as an afterthought—you deserve someone who’s genuinely in it for the long haul. You’re the prize, not the afterthought. 😘
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starhvney · 9 months ago
Note
I found your blog and thank you for existing
Got any uh.. zenix fluff hcs? For a friend of course
Remember to drink water! ♡
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𝐙𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐗 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: mystreet zenix x fem!reader
𝐂𝐖: none!
𝐀/𝐍: sorry for the wait! but here it is! :)
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍, how does he show his affection?
he very much has some interesting ways to show his affection to you. why would he tell you how he feels directly when he can just show you in other ways? buying you food when he notices you’re feeling down, remembering very specific things about you, and… staring. he always stares at you when he’s feeling affectionate but has no idea how to communicate it. 
𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘, what does he find the most beautiful about you?
anything that you’d consider a flaw. zenix is a guy with many flaws himself, so if he finds all of your “flaws” beautiful and attractive… does that mean you can also find his flaws attractive and want to be with him regardless? he hopes so. 
𝐂𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒, how cuddly is he? how does he cuddle with you?
he’s not the cuddliest guy, but he’s not against it, either. he’s just not used to physical touch in general. he doesn’t have siblings and his mom isn’t overly affectionate, so he might be a bit averse to it just because it's foreign to him. but if you’re a cuddly person, he’ll slowly open up. for you, he guesses. he likes laying his head in the crook of your neck the most. 
𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂, what is domestic life like with him?
this guy. he’s actually not as big of a slob as you’d expect, but he’s kind of lazy. he’ll put off his end of the chores until it has to be done(or you threaten him, as much as he squabbles over silly things he doesn’t actually want you to be mad at him). if you complain to him enough, he will whip himself into shape and try to get on top of things, he may just fall behind some weeks. 
𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍, how vulnerable with his emotions is he with you?
there’s a lot to unpack with him. generally, i’m not sure he allows him to even be vulnerable with himself. he masks a lot of stuff with annoyance or anger, without even realizing he’s doing it. i think if you point it out and talk with him (and book him a therapy appointment pls), he will become more self-aware of this and try to at least let you know how he’s feeling. 
𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘, does he want a family with you in the future?
he most definitely never thought of himself as a family man, but if it’s something you want, he’d put some serious thought into it. he just always will have that rebellious young spirit in him, so the thought of settling down is strange to him. if he did start a family with you, he’d be the type of dad to tell his kids crazy(and very illegal) lore about himself and say “but don’t be like your dad, kiddo.”
𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐒, is he a gift giver? what kind of gifts does he give to you?
he finds gift-giving one of the easier love languages for him. he doesn’t have to talk or get emotional, but he can still find a way to express his love for you by getting you things. he’ll never let you pay for anything ever if he’s with you, and will get mad if you pay when he’s not looking.
𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐒, what is hugging him like?
at the beginning of the relationship, it’s really stiff and awkward, but he’s trying his best for you! he hasn’t hugged many people in his life, in fact, he could probably count how many he’s hugged on one hand(he’s probably shouted at more people than he’s hugged). when he gets comfortable with the concept of…romantic affection(yuck!/j)…his hugs are very nice.
𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒, what is he insecure about in your relationship?
you know, when it comes to romance, zenix is actually… really shy and flustered about it. he was always the friend that people said “i can never see you in a serious relationship” to, and it really sticks with him. he knows he’s not the best candidate for a boyfriend(in his opinion, not yours), and sometimes can get himself in a funk about it.
𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘, how jealous does he get?
he has anger issues, and anger and jealousy are two emotions that are very close in nature. the first time he feels jealous he thinks he’s just annoyed with the guy’s face or something—until he realizes that guy is awfully close to you and smiling a little too much and oh no now zenix is threatening him. he doesn’t realize that he was jealous until you both stare at each other like :| what was that. 
𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆, what is kissing him like?
he’s not the softest with his kisses, and definitely not experienced. the first few times teeth will clash and it will be aggressive, but he learns how to pace and control himself when he kisses you. he was just very nervous.  
𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, who said “i love you” first?
you did. he stood in shock for a moment when you told him, he thought you were joking with him or making fun of him. but when he sees your face drop when he doesn’t respond, he aggressively tells you he loves you too. “um, you don’t have to say it back…” “I LOVE YOU!!!” “WOAH WHAT” “I SAID I LO-“
𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐓, who gets shy or weak in the knees more?
he has his moments where he can fluster you, but he’s just so easy to rile up. you can fluster him with just a few words or a soft touch. he’s not used to being treated lovingly and gently. he may be able to get you a few times when he gathers the ability to be gentle back. he wants to be gentle back. 
𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄, does he use any pet names for you?
he usually never calls you by a cute pet name. he either calls you a shortened nickname for your regular name (if that’s possible), or he throws lighthearted insults your way. if you’re shorter than him he loves calling you some sort of nickname that goes off of that, sometimes he’ll just call you dumb or dummy. he always says it in a lighter tone than usual, though, so that you don’t take it personally or actually think he’s being mean.
𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐒, what are some issues you have in your relationship? how does he handle it?
sometimes he has troubles with expressing himself properly, and other times he might accidentally take something the wrong way. because of how immature and reckless he was in high school, on top of a lack of discipline, it took a long time for him to develop the emotional maturity he needed. with your help, he really does try to tackle this problem and to grow as a person. 
𝐏𝐃𝐀, how does he express his love in public?
he’s not huge on pda, but if you’d like to hook your arm through his, or hold his hand, or hang onto him in some other way he won’t push you away. he probably doesn’t ever instigate it(especially at the beginning of the relationship). later on, when he gets more comfortable he’ll be more open and less stiff about it
𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, how do you spend your time together?
he has a lot of sudden whims, so if you’re a go-with-the-flow type of person who likes to be dragged around on side quests, you’re in for a treat. he could randomly want a specific order from a specific restaurant or want to break into an abandoned building to see if his spray paint job is still there. you never know—and he honestly doesn’t either until it’s happening. 
𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆, what are his plans for the future?
the thought of commitment kind of scares him, but he also really craves it. i think it would take him time, but not because he’s not “committed to you”. he definitely is, he just has to grow and be ready for the official label and change. 
𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒, how open is he? does he keep anything from you?
like i said before he is very closed off to people, but once he’s opened up to you he’ll verryyy slowllyyy let you know what he really likes and feels. he’s actually very shy about his true interests, and gets embarrassed about the silly lighthearted stuff like how he actually likes the color pink and has a very complex starbucks order. 
𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, how long did it take for you two to get together?
pretty long. it takes a long time for him to open up and trust someone to be his friend, so if you’re the same way it’s gonna be a couple years of torment. does he like you? or does he stare at you like that because he wants to fight you. just make out already. 
𝐔𝐏𝐒𝐄𝐓, what makes him upset?
um, a lot of things /hj. on a real note, if we’re talking about what makes him really upset, is if you don’t take his emotions seriously. he is a very dramatic and overly expressive person, so sometimes it is hard to know if he’s serious about something or just being stupid. it takes some maturity, communication, and learning each other’s cues, but you two will be alright. 
𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐓𝐘, does he do anything to spice up your relationship?
he likes taking you to really cool secluded spots for dates that he used to go to with the shadow knight gang. he doesn’t say that he’s taking you to a “gang hang out spot”, but you notice the logo sprayed somewhere inconspicuously everywhere he takes you.
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒, how good is he at communicating?
he is absolutely horrid at it. it depends when you start dating him, but the older he gets the better he is at it. he is trying, though, and you’re the main motivator. 
𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀, something random 
if you have a hobby or do something that’s very feminine, he likes to sit and stare and watch you—out of curiosity and fascination. when you two are getting ready to go out and you’re doing his makeup, he likes to watch your routine. sometimes he zones out, and you catch a certain soft look in his eyes as he looks at you. 
𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆, what are they like when you’re gone?
he is so closed off to opening himself up to people that when he does open up he gets super attached. if you’re in a relationship with him, it’s tenfold. he doesn’t outright say it, but if you’re apart from him for a while he makes a lot of phone calls just to not really say much at all. 
𝐙𝐙𝐙..., how do you two sleep? when you’re apart?
ugh. he is violent when he’s awake and he’s violent when he’s asleep. when he first falls asleep and he does that little flinch thing, he flinches. like sometimes he accidentally will punch himself or you and wake himself back up like “WHAT?!”. man idk you tell me. in his sleep he’ll wake you up sometimes by suddenly throwing an arm over you or kicking your legs with his. he really knows no peace. If you complain to him about this a lot, he actually subconsciously begins to think about it in his sleep and won’t do it as much. whether you two are sleeping together or apart, his behavior is still the same, he’ll just roll of the bed instead of on top of you.
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