#don’t be mad at yourself because of it
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ALSO, please know that this is normal. It’s okay to have a bad day, or bad week, month, year, and it’s okay to not always feel your best. Just know, that even when you feel like your getting worse at what you love, there will always be someone who will love your writings, someone who will be emotionally impacted when reading it, someone who will admire it, someone who loves your story, and most importantly, someone who loves you. And in the end, people change, your writing isn’t getting worse, you might have just adopted a bit of a different writing style, that is not a bad thing, it is not a bad thing to write how you feel comfortable, it is not a bad thing to be yourself.
please please please please reblog if you’re a writer and have at some point felt like your writing is getting worse. I need to know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with these thoughts
#know you are loved#it’ll be okay#people change#it’s normal#don’t be mad at yourself because of it#writing#change#motivation#writing motivation
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i have no explanation for this
#james fitzjames#og james fitzjames#the terror#my drawings#the terror dan simmons#historical james fitzjames#i guess???#the franklin expedition#now this was a few months ago#but i think the idea was#that franklin & fitzjames look like the kind of guys who would be absolutely crazy about Nutella#nevermind that it hadn’t been invented yet#and uh#this happened#the terror fanart#james fitzjames fanart#drawn in a moment of sleep deprivation induced madness#that’s really all i can say for myself#imagine how much it would suck to be in your early thirties on your very first arctic expedition (that you thought would be a breeze)#and now suddenly you’re in charge (because your boss died)#(possibly both his bosses— we don’t know!)#and it’s really just a no win situation all around#like yeah you signed up for this#and you were so sure it would be a good time that you got several of your friends to sign up with you#so there’s absolutely no one to blame but yourself#but how could you know it would be this bad#no other expedition here (as far as i know) ever had a 100% fatality rate#but i guess there always has to be a first#(but why did you have to be the first?)#you know?
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pro tip if you want a positive fandom experience: do not follow confession blogs. you’re just asking for a bad time if you do that just don’t
#‘why is this fandom so toxic’ genuine suggestion stay away from the Bad Takes Factory#I hope whoever runs that blog doesn’t take this as a personal attack it’s just. man im sorry i just think confession blogs are a horrible#idea.#im tempted to block it just because I do actually use the For You tab in order to explore new blogs and posts I wouldn’t otherwise see#and confession blog posts just keep coming up and I have to zoom past them or else they’ll make me mad or exhausted half the time#I saw someone saying we don’t deserve a s2 because of how toxic we’ve become and im just like dude. you’re kind of doing that to yourself#most of the conflict being talked about is so ridiculously minuscule and taken out of proportion. like. most of us don’t actually argue#about that. most of us aren’t going around yelling about what’s problematic or not. or whatever. that’s a minority and you gotta learn to#either not engage or block and move on. then the world is magically a better place#sorry hope this isn’t a hot take. that’d be ironic#rambling
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THE ONLY MAN EVER !!!!!! 💕💖💞💗💖💕
#‘different galaxies? fine. we’ll make the universe bigger’#what the fuck!!#get yourself a man like this#if he’s not like this i don’t want him#this entire scene hurted but he made it all better i love him sm#i thought i spent 142 diamonds just for pain 😭🤧😭#also lowkey mad lou was stuck in this fugly outfit & wrong hair for this because it wouldn’t let me into the closet </3#ivo martin#psi#romance club#mine
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If you’re the one who wrote a rape fic and called it hot and sexy and when I called you out on it said it’s justified because it’s only hot when it’s fictional please go fuck yourself
#and when you said she(the victim) probably deserved it#just because it’s fictional doesn’t mean it’s okay#because that is still a problem#that shit actually ruins peoples lives idgaf if you didn’t cry about it when it happened to you#for context for those who are not the person I’m referring to#someone wrote a pjo fic where Annabeth is raped by lots of beings and was saying it’s hot and sexy in the comments#I got mad and said they’re disgusting#and they replied saying I clicked on the fic and that it doesn’t give me the right to message them abuse#along with everything else I just said#I don’t see how it makes what they write any better but okay#but lesson learned#there’s weird people out there#go fuck yourself over once and then do it again for good measure#I opened that fic out of curiosity because in what world would the tag annabeth/minotaur not make me wonder#and it was horrific and anyone who defends it is too#pjo#annabeth chase#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#warning mentions of rape#heroes of olympus#hoo#ao3#fanfiction#this happened weeks ago but I’m still upset over it
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I wish everyone who reblogs under self indulgent OP art posts that what they drew is “cringe” a very “I hope your holidays fucking sucked you asshole”
#meg text#I might delete this later but YGGGHGG I saw something that made me so fucking mad#I wish I could reply to other peoples tags because I don’t wanna sent anon hate because that be worse of me#but also no if you reblog “this is cringe” under someone’s fucking art that is harmless actually go fuck yourself#it’s 2024 and your on TUMBLR you are literal fucking cringe too#the fact people still will say minorly rude things under peoples art is insane to me#but then when OP can’t even reply… your just a fucking dick dude
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repeating the sentence “i’m a person” in my head to prepare for my parents visiting
#also writing a million oversharing posts and putting them in the drafts because i can not have meaningful conversations wirh people anymore#!#they’re gonna get mad at me#and they’re going to say stuff#and i don’t even know what they’re going to get mad at#rough when you regulate by telling yourself you’re not in trouble and no one is mad at you!!#i’ve been crying for Hours this is enough#i think i’m gonna go back to reading fics tonight#fitting because the first time i properly browsed ao3 for marauders stuff was the first time my parents visited me here#boo hoo ovwrsharing post deal with it because this is the normalest one i’m going back to normal finally
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I can never be normal about the bacchae of form any coherent thought on it. That play saved my fucking life. I owe my happiness to the fucking bacchae
#The bacchae#look man. First story you ever see something reflective of yourself thrive and crush what tried to destroy it?#When you just escaped an improperly prescribed medicine insanity spiral after years of suffering#Scared because you don’t know who you can even be at this point because you’re just not normal and unhappy with the future you chose for yo#I literally sat there. Staring at the finale.#I’ve grown more sympathetic to pentheus after a few more readings. He was mad and insecure in his own way#But he didn’t deserve what his fatal flaw brought to his family#because like omg this is the story of a family that’s been broken. This dynasty is doomed to suffer beyond catharsis#And yet. Dionysos and the maenads were like me. And it made me feel alive#dionysus
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anyway the argentina nt thing makes me so ridiculously mad because to have a racist and transphobic chant memorized AND THEN TO SING IT UPON YOUR VICTORY!!?!? genuinely death to the whole team like i have no words for that kind of behaviour. i hope every single person is held accountable for what they’ve said and allowed to transpire as a result of this behaviour. not even just the team itself but also argentine football fans who have actively participated and enabled this kind of mentality
#im probably gonna delete this but like does no one remember how this team acted after the world cup#i saw clips of argentine fans being incredibly racist towards the french team as parts of their celebrations and the team themselves….😐#like i really don’t know what to say what is it about having a skin tone thats darker that causes people to act so reprehensible#like yeah yeah white supremacy BLAH BLAH!!! idc what people say if you have basic empathy at some point you should think to yourself#‘why am i treating another human this way because of the colour of their skin?’ LIKE THATS NOT A WORLD BREAKING CONCEPT#idkkkkkk im just mad and the audacity of that horrid team had me sppechless#football tag
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The Good Omens fandom is fascinating because they’re vocally supportive of the lgbtq community, especially trans people, including not misgendering, yet when Crowley and Aziraphale consistently go by “he/him,” they call them nonbinary
In the book, angels have no gender unless they “make an effort.” Is that not an effort to you, or are you just willingly misgendering them while calling anyone who thinks that’s hypocritical a terf lol
#this’ll cause some spicy opinions#or not idc#i wouldn’t even care about the nonbinary/gay man debate if the terf word wasn’t thrown out so flippantly#not everyone who thinks you headcanoning david tennant as a pretty girl is goofy hates trans people susan#not a single trans person irl would care about this. not a single goddamn one#i don’t even think gay men give a shit about good omens#so who’s this for?? lesbians vs nonbinary demiaces?? whatever.#anyway they’re both whatever. it’s media baybe#stop accusing people of going for trans genocide just because you wanna see david tennant in a dress lmfaoooo#cw: genocide#<- just for the spicy verbiage#inb4 no i’m not a terf uwu i have trans friends but literally#some of y’all get real mad when gay people try to have anything#good omens#good omens meta#ineffable husbands#they can be nb if you want but don’t faceblind yourself to obvious metaphors because it doesn’t directly apply to you#gay is over#aziraphale#crowley#i love how michael sheen acts as thirsty as possible just to spite the uwu they’re ace blorbos ppl (and also he’s thirsty to be fair)#lgbtqia
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So like. I got diagnosed with *yet another* chronic illness two days ago. Doctor says I have fibromyalgia, which is what has been causing the constant full body pain that makes me feel like every inch of my skin is a bruise being pressed on 24/7
Which makes sense, and I’m glad to know that I’m not just crazy, because I’ve been in pain literally since I was born, to the point that I don’t have a single memory where this pain wasn’t present, at least in the background. So I really thought it was normal, and that everyone felt like this until it got a lot worse in the last few years that I’ve been dealing with flare ups of Crohn’s and lupus, but neither of those can explain the constant pain I feel underneath every inch of my skin
It’s a relief to get a diagnosis, because for a couple years now, since it started getting worse, I thought this feeling was just what people talk about when they say you reach your late 20’s and can’t neglect good habits anymore without feeling it. That this pain was just bundled alongside the feeling of getting sore + stiff from not exercising/sleeping well enough. I have wondered on several occasions how the hell everyone lives full lives with this kind of pain, or why more people don’t kill themselves upon finding out that they have to feel like this for decades??? Because sometimes I can’t bear the thought of feeling this pain every day for the rest of my stupid little life. I’m not strong enough to bear that burden when I’ve already lived 28 years with it and I feel tired all the way down to my fucking bone marrow from carrying this pain with me everywhere I go, even in my sleep, in my dreams I feel it because I’ve never *not* felt it and I have no idea what it feels like to not be plagued it.
But now that I know what’s wrong and there are treatment options to try? Maybe I’ll finally get to know what it’s like to not be in pain.
So the doctor gave me a new medicine for it to try that will hopefully make my nerves feel less, and I can actually do things again instead of just being in bed thinking about how bad the bed hurts against my skin and how gravity is a curse because I can’t just float so nothing is touching me and making my skin hurt. And all the ideas for various art to make I’ve been saving up for when I’m capable of sitting up and holding a pencil again can be worked on. I can finally take the drive out of my old busted laptop to get all of my concept drafts off of it because I only managed to save the most important/almost finished artworks on it before the battery swelled (and my fav version of photoshop too, because I’m an idiot and don’t commit which one it is to memory so I can just pirate it again, I just keep transferring the program files to install it again lmao)
Maybe I’ll actually get around to coming up with a permanent pseudonym to start posting my art under, and finally start sharing it outside of Snapchat where it disappears in 24 hours
#side note: I have to come up with a pseudonym because my real name is super common#I literally even got sponsored ad posts on other social media sites of a girl selling paintings under my first and middle name#and my first + middle name combo isn’t exactly common#so I definitely have to come up with something or no one is going to be able to find my art#but coming up with a whole new name for yourself is fucking hard#like I feel mad with power and want to name myself something insane but then I don’t because what if it’s too unique and I get sick of it#I wouldn’t want to have to rebrand#so I have to come up with something I’m not going to hate 10 years from now#that also sounds cool + is unique enough to be searchable and not get drowned out by a million other people posting art with the same name#if any of you have any ideas let me know lmao#because not having a good pseudonym yet is *the* main reason I don’t post my art
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It turns out I can only forgive someone if I haven’t talked to them or seen them in any way or seen anything about them for a minimum of five years. And if they reappear anywhere in my life ever again, I’m immediately like this earth isn’t big enough for the two of us
#so anyway the person my ex cheated on me with suddenly showed back up in one of my online tumblr spaces#and I blocked their blog and then looked at it anyway because I hate myself#i thought I’d gotten over their part in it#but now seeing them and remembering how they treated me and talked about me and what they did just#feels bad#and even looking at their blog I’m like hey don’t do that you’ll make yourself mad#imagine my surprise when I got mad#i wish I were not like this I would like to be one of those ‘living well is the best revenge’ people#I’m just. how does this make sense and how do people just move on from things#it’s not in my blood#this is eli
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definitely not an original thought but so many submissions on the aita tumblr aregenuinely so depressing. like “aita for not coming out to my parents when they have repeatedly demonstrated that doing so would be unsafe” “aita for standing up for myself in an abusive relationship” “aita for having a critical thought about someone who was cruel to me” good god.
#purrs#relatedly… and not to say this but. i truly truly truly think it is sickening how many ppl have emotionally unavailable / abusive / whatever#parents like how did this happen to so many of us. i think that’s the reason that we think things like this are our fault. because fucking#ADULTS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO NURTURE AND TAKE CARE OF US made US take care of THEM. it’s that meme about having beef with a 5 year old but its#so unfunny in this context like. why are you forcing your child to be someone they are not or sacrifice their identity / desires / whatever#so YOU can feel good about yourself. as if that does not do devastating lasting psychological damage to a young person lol.#this is why with every day that goes by i think more and more that iprobably shoudl not have kids. i wanted to so bad a few yrs ago but it’s#like… god. even if i tried my absolute hardest to not emotionally harm a child like that i do not want to risk making eben the smallest#mistake. i don’t want to subject someone who didn’t even ask for it to a lifetime of feeling like this. lolllll#delete later#<- in part bc im abt to go practice drivin GB for the 3rd time so my thoughts aren’t clear rn imjust mad about this.#like… kids are YOUNG! they don’t have emotional.. whatever it is to shoulder their own emotions and then a whole ADULT’S. and it’s so sosick#the way that so many kids have had to and STILL have to. and how it’s a cycle and all that. and the only way to break it is not having kids!#* sometimes more than one adult’s not to mention other kids in some situations. like good god. it’s so so so sick.#ask to tag
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Two rats having lunch
Two rats having lunch
The vermin
The vermin
Enthusiastically munch!
TWO RATS
ON THE GROUND
EATIN FOOD
GRILLED CHEESE AND
TOMATO SOUP
#i almost want to make a cover b/c two trucks sounds really funky but I physically can’t put my brain through that#I just don’t like sex songs and shit#unrelated sorta but I watched Rocky horror picture show around Halloween and I dissasosiated so much that I barely remember what happened#the rest of the night#the whole of that day sucked too because that was when I was left outside for three hours at a dance that I only went too because my mom#wasn’t home so she couldn’t drop me off for the sleepover after and I thought it would be fun to show up as a surprise because I didn’t#think I’d be able to before!#but they forgot about me and I was crying outside in late October and everyone forgot abt me#even the teacher that came over to check on me. she said that she’d come back in a few mins and I said that was ok but she didn’t#I never blasted Spirit Phone into my ears as loud as I did that day#anyways that should’ve been another post in of itself sorry lmao#still mad about it even though I know it’s my fault I’m upset and they weren’t really at fault#I kinda fucked the friendship because I was very emotional and I haven’t had friends in YEARS so I didn’t know how arguments work?#and the only time I had real arguments was with my dad and that usually felt like a ‘you have to survive this make yourself right so he’ll#leave’ kinda thing#yay love trauma dumping good night guys
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belle this is so sad :(
WHO MADE YOU FEEL LIKE THAT NOW-
oh we already know, c’mon now
#yes my ex (not live-in one she’s the best)#and blah blah blah if he sends me another innocuous message thru a source of social media we haven’t blocked each other on#to be like ‘ohhhh we need to talk bc i don’t like the way you talk about me bc i’m not responsible for how you feel’#and all the same bullshit he’s spouted over the years#(especially after my suicide attempt and he essentially didn’t wanna take responsibility for anything)#i would laaaaaaaaugh#and i know his ass blocked me on this blog because he’s mad that i called him out for being a cheater and y’all agreed#(i know you’re still checking because i know you and how you are)#(stay motherfucking mad but do yourself a favour and tell the truth to that poor girl you’re dating and admit you cheated on her)#(or don’t idc shoot yet another relationship in the face and hurt another innocent)#(be the stereotype of the lesbian who just hurts everyone they’re with bc of an ex idc)#LMFAOOOOO SORRY FOR THESE LONG ASS TAGS#i’ve been updating star on my messy life and she got me all amped up!#v#anon#belle answers
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~ ~ ~
#seems you had no intention of talking to me today either which is just lovely#you didn’t acknowledge my solution saying we didn’t need to talk every day if you didn’t want to but I guess you must have liked it anyway#and I would have obviously been fine with that but only if you’d told me beforehand that that’s what you wanted to do so I could be prepared#but this now just feels like a slight or like you’re trying to teach me a lesson or something#I get it ok? I shouldn’t have told you I felt like you didn’t want to talk to me and I shouldn’t have asked for more time with you#I should have left well enough alone and just taken what I could get from you so you wouldn’t feel like you have to justify yourself#literally feel like I’m just going to start crying any minute because I don’t know what’s going on and I guess you’re still mad at me#and I just miss you a lot and want to be able to talk to you#is it really such a crime to want to spend time with my friend?#is it really so evil to voice to you that I’m feeling blown off/ignored by you a lot of the time?#I’m sorry I felt that way and I don’t really know why I had those feelings anyway because they were clearly wrong#but seriously I can feel the panic building and the tears welling up and I just need you to tell me everything is ok#because I can’t handle losing my best friend in any form#I’ll take one message a day if that’s all I can get just don’t leave me in silence please#personal
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