#domesticabuse

[jirai-mori]

[blessingellyse]

WHY NARCISSISTS WANT CHILDREN 💯🎯⁉️📌

It Attracts A Lot Of Attention. Narcs Need Attention Far More Than Most People And Will Use Almost Anything To Get It Even Children And What Better Way Is There To Get Everyone’s Attention? Narcs Are Impulsive And Don’t Think Through Consequences So They’re Often Blind As To How Big A Commitment Children Are, Preferring To Focus On The Adulation Instead. Narcs Know That Word Travels Fast And If They Have An Ex They Want To Get At, They Might Have Children Just To Hurt Them. Especially If They Know That They Wanted Children Themselves. That’s How Petty They Can Be.

Narcs Hate Being Single And Certainly Don’t Welcome Someone Dumping Them. That’s Their Job So They Use Children As Insurance. Narcs Know That It’s More Difficult To Leave Them If They Share Children. Because Their Partners, Who Are Usually Empathic, Think Of Their Children’s Needs Before Their Own And Although May Be Unhappy In Their Relationship, Stay To Keep The Family Together. With Children In The Equation, It’s A Whole Different Ball Game. Because A Split Affects Them More Than The Couple And Many People Don’t Want To Be Responsible For Tearing A Child’s Family Apart. So They’re More Likely To Stay With The Narc Even If They’re Unhappy.

Increasing The Pressure To Stay In The Relationship Allows The Narc To Treat Their Partners Worse And Get Away With It. Narcs Learn How Far They Can Push Their Partners, Without Quite Pushing Them Away. They Learn Their Breaking Point And Push Them Just Bellow That Point. This Allows Them To Take As Much As They Can, Yet Keep Them Around So They Can Take Some More, Giving Them The Most Bang For Their Buck. The Breaking Point Is Likely To Be Much Higher When Children Are Involved Because No Right Minded Person Would Split A Family Over A “Minor Incident”, Which Narcs Are Experts At Making Them Seem. So The Bar Is Raised As To What Behaviours Would Spell An End To The Relationship, Allowing The Narcs To Get Away With More.

Even If The Relationship Ends, Children Still Play A Useful Role For The Narc. Because For 18 Years, The Narc Has Access To Their Former Partner And They Have The Law On Their Side. They Can Disappear And Do What They Want. Then When Things Turn Sour, Come Marching Back “For The Sake Of The Children". Narcs Don’t Particularly Care About Seeing Their Children. Which Is Why They Often Have Long Absences From Them, But They’re A Great Tool To Use To Get Their Feet Back Under The Table. Most Well Meaning Parents Won’t Deny Their Children Seeing The Other Parent. Even If They’ve Disappeared For A While. This Allows The Narc To Dip In And Out Of Their Life. And Work Their Charm If They Want Some Action. If The Narc Has Children With More Than One Partner, Then It’s Party Time. Because They Can Flit Between Several Peoples Lives. And When They Grow Bored, Discard Them And Move To Another.

Narcs See Their Children As Extensions Of Themselves And Some Want Children So They Can Live Through Them And Push Them To Accomplish What They Never Did. So They May Push Their Children To Become Doctors, Lawyers, Actors, Singers, Etc. Regardless Of What The Child Wants For Themselves And This Can Cause Problems Later In Life. It Can Be Like Fitting A Square Peg Into A Round Hole. People Need To Find Their Own Way, Based On Their Own Strengths, Weaknesses And Interests, But The Narc Is Too Focused On Their Own Ambitions To Consider This And Relentlessly Push Their Own Agenda.

The Narc Usually Takes Credit For Any Success The Child Has And Claims It’s Their Genes And Good Parenting That’s Responsible. To Outsiders They May Seem Like A Proud Parent, But The Only Pride They Really Have Is In Themselves. They See Children As A Boost To Their Profile. Because In Their Mind It Shows How Virile And Desirable They Are. Some Narcs See Children As A Numbers Game. The More They Have, The Greater They Must Be. So They Try To Have As Many Children As Possible, Despite Being Absent Parents.

Narcs Don’t Usually Have Strong Parental Instincts, So They Leave Most Of The Parenting To Their Partners And This Works Out Great For Them. Narcs Like To Saddle Their Partners With Children Because It Keeps Them Under Lock And Key. The Narc Knows That Their Partner Has Little Freedom When They’re Almost Solely Responsible For The Children And It Keeps Them Safely Tucked Away At Home Whilst They Swan Around Without A Care In The World. Parenting Is Draining And Narcs Like To Play The Energy Game With Their Partners. This Is Where They Tire Them Out Whilst Preserving Their Own Energy. This Allows Them To Dominate Their Fatigued Partner Because They Have Less Mental And Physical Strength To Fight Back.

Although Narcs Do Little Actual Parenting, The Outside World Doesn’t Know This And The Narc Talks A Good Game To Friends, Family And Co-workers, Creating The Impression They’re Doting Parents And Normal Functioning Members Of Society. Narcs Hide Behind A Family Persona To Disguise Their Dysfunctional Ways And It Can Work Wonders For Their Image And Reputation. Narcs Love People Thinking Highly Of Them. It’s An Ego Boost For One And It Also Helps Them Gain Attention And Favours Because People Are More Willing To Trust And Spend Time With People Who Are High Functioning. Narcs See Everyone Around As An Extension Of Themselves Rather Than As Separate Individuals. This Includes Their Own Children.

There Are Several Mistakes The Narc Parent Is Certain To Make During Their Counter-Parenting Journey. These Mistakes Will Undoubtedly Come Back To Haunt Them, Possibly Years Down The Line. Narcs Are So Self-absorbed They Fail To Stop And Consider That Children Eventually Grow Up And See The Damaging Behaviour With Their Own Eyes. Their Children Are Not Immune From Being At The Receiving End Of The Narc's Cycle Of ‘idealise And Devalue’, Where They Are Alternately Lovebombed, (Showered With Praise And Attention), And Then Subtly Devalued, Criticised, Withdrawn From And Put Down. This Leaves Them Confused And Hurt, And They Start Jumping Through Hoops To Please The Parent Enough To Re-Enter The Idealization Phase Again. This Is A Cycle That Repeats Ad Infinitum, Over And Over Again, Even When The Child Becomes An Adult Themselves.

Narcs' Children Will Be Triangulated And Played Off Against Others (Often Their Own Siblings Or Cousins), And Will Find Themselves Vying For The Narc’s Attention. They Will Be Gaslighted/Lied To By The Narc To The Point Where They Their Own Reality Is Dismissed As False, So That They Stop Trusting Their Own Perceptions Of Reality. They Will Be Demeaned And Shamed. If They Are Particularly Good At Something, Behind Closed Doors They May Find Themselves On The Receiving End Of The Narc Parent’s Jealously. Confusingly, The Narc May Then, In Front Of An Audience, Hold Up Their Child’s Talent As A Source Of Pride, As Just Another Way To Gain Positive Attention For Themselves.

It’s Not Surprising That Narcs Want Children For Selfish Reasons. Everything Else In Their Life Revolves Around Them, So Why Should This Be Any Different? But It’s Easy For Their Partners To Be Fooled Into Thinking That They Want Them For The Right Reasons, Especially When The Narcissist Knows What To Say. Narcs May Talk Romantically About How Children Will Bring Them Closer And How Much Joy They’ll Bring, Which Is All Very Appealing, But When The Children Arrive, The Harsh Reality Kicks In. The Narc Becomes More Narc Because They Can Get Away With It And Spends Little Time And Energy On Their Children Because They’re Still Hyper Focused On Themselves. Despite All The Promises They Made, The Sad Truth Is That Even With Children, Narcs Want Everything To Revolve Around Them And They’re Happy To Take The Focus Away From Their Children Because Deep Down, They’re Big Kids Themselves.

In Short, And To Put It Bluntly, Narcs Do Not Have What It Takes To Be Good Parents. They Cannot Put Another’s Needs First.

[knowingyouexist]

i hope u never forget me.

i hope i give u nightmares.

i hope u think about how much u hurt me and i hope it kills u.

i hope u have remorse, regret, and guilt and i hope it eats u up.

i hope u lose sleep, friends, ur appetite.

u don't deserve these things after what uve done.

[exposing-yusuf-olatunji-fatai]

Domestic Abuse From Day One

The author recounts a distressing incident involving Yusuf Olatunji Fatai, who, fueled by alcohol, violently attacked the author while attempting to take their crying 1-year-old from her. This outburst followed his destructive behavior at a birthday party, highlighting his abusive nature and alcohol issues, portraying him as a deceitful and dangerous individual.

This is the way Yusuf battered me when trying to grab our then 1 year old son from my arms after he destroyed my then 7 year old son bed on his birthday. He spent that evening at my older son birthday party fueling himself with alcohol and took his anger, madness and frustration out on me by attacking my minor child and destroying his bed. He tried to grab my crying 1 year old son from me to run…

[haunted-whisperings]

when i look in the mirror i never trust what i see having trouble realizing me told what to do, what to feel where do i begin to find what is real i said no, “you mean yes” i guess not so sure anymore an uneven score wanting more do i deserve such i feel i have been missing much caught in a web of lies unheard for years, my many cries chains stay the course do you think he feels remorse overactive emotions dysfunctional neurotransmitters i’m not a quitter not even bitter i just need to know how do i go from here to there care self-distrust do i matter much it’s not a crutch i’m struck by a twist of fate stalemate maybe someone help me figure this out untwist my brain serotonin lost my mood the cost depressed on a quest to find my true mind real emotions presynaptic collapse my body reacts self-harm moving to my arm sound the alarm imperfections now found on my body’s sacred ground tell me the truth show me what to do is this true as tears drop shocked mediating tension hand is wrenching stainless steel again appeals to the theory of invalidation

[carrieanncleveland]

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse: What It Is and How To Recover?

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse that is perpetrated by someone with narcissistic personality disorder or traits. It can take many forms, including gaslighting, manipulation, emotional neglect, belittling, and exploitation.

The following are some common signs of narcissistic abuse:

A constant need for attention and admiration

Belittling, demeaning, or insulting language or behavior

An inability to acknowledge or apologize for mistakes

A lack of empathy for others

Manipulation and gaslighting

Control and domination over their partner

Emotional neglect or abandonment

Blaming their partner for everything that goes wrong in the relationship

Isolation from family and friends

Threats or violence.

Recovering from narcissistic abuse can be a long and difficult process, but it is possible. The following are some strategies that may help:

Seek Therapy: Therapy can provide a safe space to process your experiences and emotions, and can help you develop coping mechanisms for dealing with triggers and negative thoughts.

Build a Support System: Surround yourself with friends and family who are supportive and understanding, and who can provide emotional support when you need it.

Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. This can include exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the person who has abused you, and stick to them. This can include limiting or cutting off contact, and refusing to engage in behaviors that are harmful to you.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Work to identify and challenge negative beliefs and thoughts about yourself that were reinforced by the abuse.

Take Legal Action If Necessary: If you have experienced physical or sexual abuse, or if your partner has engaged in illegal activities, consider taking legal action.

Recovering from narcissistic abuse can be a difficult and overwhelming process. It is important to seek professional help to heal from the trauma of being in an abusive relationship. Therapy for narcissistic trauma, emotional abuse victims, and survivors of domestic violence are all available options for those seeking help. Professional counselors and therapists can provide support, guidance, and tools to help individuals manage their emotions, cope with the effects of the abuse, and develop healthy coping strategies. With the right kind of therapy, survivors can begin to heal from their traumatic experiences and move forward with their lives.

Remember, recovery is a process, and it can take time. Be patient with yourself and seek support when you need it.

[talktoangel2]

what is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is a form of mistreatment that involves the use of tactics to manipulate, control, and harm another person emotionally and psychologically. Unlike physical abuse, which involves physical harm, emotional abuse primarily targets an individual's feelings, self-esteem, and mental well-being. It often occurs within relationships where there is a power imbalance, such as intimate partnerships, familial relationships, friendships, or workplace dynamics.

"TalkToAngel" is a representative of online counseling services, which provide virtual access to professional therapists and counselors. These services offer a range of benefits:

[the420gandalf]

I've been offline for years because of these reasons.

Help only comes when you fight back.

[pseudonourishment]

No More Excuses for Not Helping People

A complete waste of time? Not entirely, but we need to reassess how we address those who need help. Helping them adjust their behavior patterns or destructive thinking isn't nearly enough anymore.

We already have the tools and the resources needed, but they are being used inefficiently. Implementing a co-responder program with local police and sheriff's departments is only part of a solution. Giving those who have just exited jail or prison, rehab, detox or some other mental health facility easier access and encouragement to use other resources, such as group housing, the safehouse, workforce services, family services, etc. would help them integrate back into and become a productive member of society, and may even prevent them from slipping backward through the cracks.

Isn't this a common goal, despite our differences? What's stopping us then? Cost? Politics? Religion? Ethics? Morality? In fact, nothing is preventing us from offering extended help or other services outside of what was initially given. We just don't want to.

We make up rules and regulations, trying to convince ourselves that it's unethical, illegal or even immoral to do so. How does it violate privacy? It doesn't.

Assuming one is ready to integrate back into society based on "finished" or "completed" standard treatment plans is unethical. Assuming a one-size-fits-all treatment plans work is immoral. Treatment plans need to be adjusted accordingly and as new information is known.

Assuming politics or religion don't play a role in denying help to those who need or want it is grossly incorrect and only hurts all of society. Any excuse political parties and religions have for not helping the broken only enforces distrust of them and their beliefs.

Cost shouldn't even be a considered factor. Placing a monetary value on "help" of any kind goes against any belief system a society has in place. Expecting some kind of reward or gratitude for helping someone is counter-productive, and only enforces resentment and encourages abuse of the system and those needing help.

Excuses are like assholes – we all have one.

[sgcruz21-blog]

(via Book review: 'Leaving: How I Set Myself Free from an Abusive Marriage' by Kanchan Bhaskar)

[mumbled-tea]

Soul that lost to society

I cried and brawled with all my might to save her. But what was the meaning of initial acceptance When you planned to increase the oppression on me? Your presumption of male fetus wasn't my fault, it wasn't the fault of my princess either. what wrong did she do to you without stepping into the world?

I was ready to break all the chains and fight for her. But she shouldn't take birth in this tyrannical world. She deserves more than living a life like her mother, and I don't want any of my bruises to reach to her. I've never felt safe here so I can't assure her safety.

Now I cry by holding my womb after killing my angel, I was forced to support the society and to kill her. what more can I do now? Other than telling the tale of the soul that lost to society?

[jirai-mori]

𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚖𝚎

[lettersyoullneversee]

revenge.

I don’t need revenge, because I have the whole universe. I can travel go where ever I please, there are a million more people to meet, I don’t need to engage, inside your crazy Facebook page, I am powerful, more powerful than I have ever known, and success is the sweetest thing, just you wait for the after glow. I don’t need revenge, the world is already working.

[mental-space-x]

Bad neighbours

https://themindsearcher.wordpress.com/?p=63

[killer-fun-podcast]

Love Lies Bleeding is a crimey, trippy, violent… love story. Kristen Stewart’s best reviewed film EVER has deep and upsetting themes with the 1980’s setting giving us distance and the opportunity to take a new perspective on conflicts that feel familiar but fresh. Email us: KillerFunPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Facebook: fb.me/KillerFunPodcast All the Tweets, er, POSTS: https://x.com/KillerFunPod Instagram: killerfunpodcast

[haunted-whisperings]

could you hit me just once, leave a mark split my sides for the world to see rather than fighting my mind i succumb to the blind sides of pain & agony

PLEASE push me against the wall make me fall, bleed you invalidated me long ago sowing seeds of insignificance

punch my clock leave me to rot confused by lies i’d like to see you cry innate emotional intelligence this dance has broken my defense i don’t know what to believe about me

emotionally lost my cost tossed minimized killing my confidence constantly paying penance drained soul raining

draining “stop being so emotional” my backbone no longer breaks with stones thrown

knock me out, cold tired of the toll unheard, discounted pressure mounted nailed to the cross you say you’re the boss

i now carry my weight in an altered state splintered wintered

hit me, it’s all good leave me like you should bleeding i won’t beg for my life PLEASE at least then i have a chance leave me for dead

~~~~~~

“Telling a person she shouldn't feel the way she does feel is akin to telling water it shouldn't be wet, grass it shouldn't be green, or rocks they shouldn't be hard. Each person's feelings are real. Whether we like or understand someone's feelings, they are still real. Rejecting feelings is rejecting reality; it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature, "psychological murder" or "soul murder." Considering that trying to fight feelings, rather than accept them, is trying to fight all of nature, you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and futile.” ~ S. Hein ~