#doesnt fucking land for me actually

[nocek]

And this concludes the grand crossover event

(or does it?)

(it does but I was given a great idea for how to solve Gwen's problem :) )

the timeline of previous relevant comics:

[Jeff has a great fashion sense and Peter is the best hooker]

[Jeff is found and fucks are lost]

[bro landed up in the wrong universe and all he got out of it is a lousy bow]

[ghostlypawn]

my #unfortunate trait is that i like how mel/langdon has an undercurrent of toxicity to them 😔

[bucephaly]

I managed to point out to my dad that the facebook post he was showing me was clearly nonsense and he ended up fact checking it. So. Progress hopefully

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

cannot believe AK is leaving mr!...... gayest nini i have come across to date. no one is doing it like her

[soldierandawar]

if you ask me, i think everybody is delusional and all the back and forth is for naught when nobody is getting what they want.

in however many episodes we'll be back in the same cycle of new LI, 5-10 episode relationship, and yet another breakup where the words brother, straight, and best friend will once again be used emphatically. maybe even moreso. and at the end of the day, one "side" can cling to the fact that at least their ship went canon and that even though their ship did end it ended with both parties essentially saying i love you and the other "side" will still be....where? both parties are still on screen and close but they're no closer to bumping uglies. all the romance is still in the subtext. it's the same ol game of reading into every scene and look and piece of dialogue to end back up in the same place. we get what we want but it's not exactly what most of us have been hoping and praying for now is it?

like, keep it a buck. we're all losers. and like, such is the life of fandom. we live here for a reason. so. yeah. have fun, i guess!

[devotedlystrangewizard]

when you agree to hang out with gale during the tiefling party in act 1 lae'zel says "ive no doubt hes as seductive as he is succint" but lae'zel. the whole using 300 words to express how he feels is so endearing lae'zel. lae'zel listen to me hes basically writing a book about how cool i am lae'zel

[godhandler]

on tumblr dot com i see the economics equivalent of 'horse tranquilizers can fix covid' and just sigh and go about my day with a heavy stone on my heart

[wordiestwyrm]

people should start inventing their own numerologies and comparing notes. slash s r s

[lemontongues]

one thing about me as a batman fan is that im not 100% convinced his penis works very good. im completely fine with fanfic where hes horny as hell and fucks like a machine and all that but in my heart of hearts im like. this man has erectile dysfunction.

like first of all theres the psychological aspect, in the sense that that man is stressed the hell out and traumatized and paranoid and juggling like 600% more in his head than the average person, which im told doesnt usually contribute to great boners. so there's that part. getting the man to put down his schedules and business concerns and the three different cases hes working on in the back of his head and the updates he wants to make to the batmobile and all that shit. that guy is Distracted during sex. he loses his boner at least once a session because he starts thinking about killer croc or something and yeah hes freaky but not really in that direction, sorry. this is a thing that happens to him and is a known phenomenon to his partners.

and then second of all physiologically im not convinced that he hasnt mangled his penis to some degree in the course of all the training and crimefighting and whatnot. like even taking extra pains to protect it as im sure he would, all of the times that man has been exploded and thrown through walls and glass and all of the jumping off of buildings and swinging around he does?? i simply dont believe his penis has emerged entirely unscathed. you absolutely cant tell me that in the early days he didnt at least twice take a running leap off of something, misjudge his landing, and absolutely destroy his balls when he slipped and took a wrought iron fence full force between the legs. this must have happened. i know it to be true that this man has scars on his dick that he didn't ask someone to put there on purpose and i do kinda think it could eventually affect his sexual function, even aside from the impact of all of his other various and perpetual injuries causing him pain.

so what im saying is that my headcanon is that batman's dick game is weak as hell at least 50% of the time. what that dick do? today, absolutely nothing. tomorrow, who knows. which tbh i find kinda hot in a roundabout way actually, so. love that for him. sorry about your penis, batman.

[cinnabeat]

its really interesting to listen to covers of aimers song bc imo no one really captures the emotion she puts into her singing

[two-bats]

gender feelings are happening again. scary.

[dandyshucks-moving]

juno having a special interest in dog-adjacent poke.mon 🤝 guz having a hyperfixation in bug-type poke.mon

[ghost-proofbaby]

thinking about Eddie being so eager to kiss you all the time and he just gets a little too excited sometimes a little too rough and you bump into something and he cradles you while you giggle cause he can't stop smiling into his kisses

And sure maybe it's a little awkward and teeth knock against each other and he catches your lip in his teeth a little too hard but it's okay cause you're deliriously happy

And it's not about getting to the sex (not all the time anyways) but he's just so happy to have found a safe place to land and he's enthusiastic that he found someone who wants to kiss him just as much as he wants to kiss you

And this time he's not too much and his feelings aren't too big and he doesn't need to tone it down cause you're his person and he's yours

Okay bye ily

mouse. mouse get the fuck back here. MOUSE DONT LEAVE ME LIKE THIS

he's just so happy to have a safe place to land and this time he's not too much and his feelings aren't too big were daggers straight to my heart you come back here right now before i actually bleed out from needing this man so badly.

no but thats exactly it. eddie has spent so long jumping and toeing that line of either trying to cram himself into this bite-sized shape for the ones around him, and just exploding and pretending he doesn't give a fuck that he will never fit into anyone's cup of tea so he'll just make himself even larger, that when you enter his life he just doesnt know what to do about it.

because he starts with his regular tricks of being so over the top, so unbearable, and all you're doing is laughing and entertaining his antics. even playing along at times. and so he retracts a little, turning back into a quiet boy who will shrivel up until he's invisible or easy to love (whichever comes first). but then that doesn't work - and to be truthful, he doesn't even know what his mind's end goal is here because why is he trying to push you away so desperately? - and he's just at a loss. you want him on the thundering days, where he makes his grey clouds everyone's problem and all his lightning is blinding and sporadic. you want him on the quiet days, where the downpour is no longer a roar but a soft drizzle, a bit more silent and a bit more bearable but still there. and he can't tell if it's a joke - he can't decipher if your kisses amidst his rambles are sincere, if you're actually smiling at his jokes because you like him or you're too polite to break his heart. he can't see through those gentle hands you use to caress back his wild hair to be sure that the softest of touches are really just you, or some strange gloves of care that you're only simply wearing for now.

and then one morning, he wakes up, and you're still there, awake before he is and just watching him with so much love. feather-light fingers taking their time tracing over his tattoo on his chest and arms, not noticing he's awake yet as you smile so serenely at him. you're looking at him in a way that he's never really gotten to experience so vulnerably before - like he isn't a nuisance, isn't a mistake. like the universe has so intentionally dropped him into your palms, and you're so aware of how delicate he can be below the surface. and he just breaks.

"i love you"

he'd blurt it out, the first time he's ever said those words to you. it almost feels like the first time he's said those words, period.

he's said them to wayne, in their own way, both a bit stiff in expressing affection and skirting around those words whenever they can for a simply ruffle of hair or unexpected side hugs. he'd said them to his mom, a young boy with shining eyes despite it all, looking at her like she was the world because she was his world.

and... well. that's it. he can count the number of times he's said those words on one hand, and now he's said them to you, and all he can hope is you handle them with as much care as you've handled him.

he hopes you can feel the weight of his heart pressing down on them.

and he thinks you do, when you startle a little, looking up to his lips where those rough words had just fallen from in a cracking tone, and you take your time in awarding him with a smile that could save lives. cure cancer, cure sadness, cure the end of the world even. every cliche possible.

"yeah?" you'd whisper back, and his heart skips a beat, terrified that the next words you say won't be what he needs to hear so desperately. but they are. because of course they are. you wouldn't have been watching him sleep in that way if they hadn't been on the tip of your tongue, "i love you."

not a crash landing, but a soft-padded decent. a slow fall with a cushion to prevent broken bones and more invisible scars.

he kisses you then the way he was going to kiss you every day going forward: pushing forward recklessly, teeth and noses bumping a little, smiles making it nearly impossible. he kisses you like he's coming home after a long day, because he is.

he's home. no boxes in sight to fit into, no cups that'll overflow from all the fizzling feelings pouring out of his chest. you've got him, and he's got you.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.

Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.

And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.

Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa

He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt

ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)

Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.

There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)

I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,

Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other

(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)

But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in

Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet

Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn

Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there

Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had

I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance

So like. Picture this.

You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.

You get there and find 3 people fighting.

(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)

Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.

Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.

You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)

And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)

You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.

All thoughts come to a screeching halt.

Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.

There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways

So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great

(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)

Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user

Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!

(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)

Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."

SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.

Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)

Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.

(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)

Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.

Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.

(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)

It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.

Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3

(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)

Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!

[pwnyta]

Noble- lol kinda want an AU where that pink haired guy is Stones ex and Robotnik fucking hates him.

Me- LOL

Also me for the next few weeks-

--

I call this AU ''The Lost Prince (of Wendimoor)'' right? sketchy cover page concept-

If I had a nickle for every time I locked on on a doe-eyed, yearner played by Lee Majdoub in love(allegedly) with a 6'2'', red-tinted man who is a master at his craft from a series with world warping technology, a fucked up moon, and a child hero...

I would have 2 nickles etc.

ANYWAYS. The story is about Agent Stone who is secretly Silas Dengdamor. Somehow he got warped/trapped on Earth and had to rebuild his life since Earth is a far less forgiving place than the planet of Wendimoor and he had to accept that Panto might not be able to help him. BUT he finally managed to apply all the fighting skills taught to him by Wygar and eventually ended up in GUN which lands him in Robotnik's circle.

Little did he know Panto has been trying to find Silas this entire time, using warp rings to traverse the galaxy when the search for him on Wendimoor resulted in nothing. (Hes left the defense and care for the kingdoms to Litzi and Wygar)

Panto finally makes it to Earth after escaping some shenanigans on some other planet and in the chaos lost his warp rings somewhere. SO he too has been stuck on Earth which is fine for him because he was gonna be searching for Silas anyways. (He actually loses his rings on Earth and Sonic finds them and is a little concerned/excited for another alien to meet... I didnt draw any of that LMAO) ANYWAYS after nearly a decade Pantos search finally comes to an end.

(V Im putting the rest under the cut cuz theres a lot of doodles V)

Ivo doesnt share food, of course.

Panto can only tolerate so much.

A rock stuck between a hard and harder place bout to be ground into a fine DUST.

BETRAYAL!! (?)

SO ANYWAYS. something something Sonic shenanigans but before the final battle somehow Sonic and Panto meet... maybe like Panto sees the little pouch he kept his rings in and gets them back. Something... Panto returns to Silas (& Ivo) and tells them he has a way back home for them (he and Silas) but Silas hesitates and then cant bring himself to go... not when Ivo is watching them (TOTALLY NOT BOTHERED AT ALL. HES NEVER BEEN BOTHERED EVER IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE IN FACT). Panto understands and says he has 2 warp rings left (Sonic used a few to fuck around maybe IDK) and should at least visit Wendimoor because Wygar and Farson (and even his mother) miss him and he should get a proper good bye. Stone invites Ivo to Wendimoor... whether or not he goes to check it out IDK... I feel like might be curious enough but also maybe he'd think itd be too awkward IDK I DIDNT DRAW THIS PART BECAUSE I DONT KNOW.

When they get back shenanigans, Sonic v Ivo fight and Ivo ends up on the Mushroom planet. Stone insists on waiting for Ivo at Mean Bean and Panto stays with him and they reconnect nice and proper! Panto accepts his life of villainy as long as he can please Silas.

something something... S3 where Ivo is injured and is being taken care by mostly Stone... and Stone is being helped by Panto (Ivo rejects Pantos help at any given moment but also kinda feels bad about it because Stone has been running himself ragged.)

Some misc Stobotnik and Pantlas! doodles-

Panto doesnt understand SIlas' affection for Ivo but then after sorta getting to know the guy he starts seeing Ivos dumb way of kinda returning affection (something that Silas is a little blind to himself). BUT if Ivo is SO important to Silas, Panto will keep him safe.

Eventually Panto brings up the stuff between Ivo and Silas as well as Silas' love for the other man and Silas feels bad but Panto WILL share food... if it means so much to Silas. And frankly Ivo is a jackass and maybe wont even do anything so he wont have to bother worrying.

IVO STILL DOESNT SHARE FOOD.... (The food wasnt his to begin with BUT IT DOESNT MATTER.)

The only thing that keeps them from killing each other is the fact the person they care most about would be upset by it.

I thought WAY too hard about this and yet...

NOT HARD ENOUGH.

[harukyuu2]

+:ꔫ:﹤ O-one more time! - Mogari Shishikuno﹥:ꔫ:+ﾟ

!! - First kisses with this boyy <3, small scenario, gn reader, i love him, pls dont take it as suggestive (didnt mean to write it like that😭), silly guy discovers kisses and becomes obsessed

ꔫ - After another succeeding mission with the club, you decided to spend the night in the haunted apartment of Mogari. Why? Because he hurted himself fighting the ghost and he might have dramatized it a little so you would worry for him and in fact, take care of him in the night! (Stupid plan recommended by Zaki, probably inspired in a romantic novel.)

With the dinner ready, the conversation never stopped. Between laughs and the distance closing for itself between you two, you ended up feeding the injured boy. His head on your lap as you bringed bites of the food into his mouth, he opened it eagerly and always made the "aah" sound for you, he teased you once or two with the possibility of bitting you— but he wouldnt, he couldnt hurt you.

"Mogari! Stop it!" - You drawl with a whine when his fangs brushed against your fingers, they were pretty sharp in reality!

He leaved a laugh, that stupid grin never leaving his face "Alright, alright! Dont get mad! I like this..." - He murmured the last part.

Did the other members knew that it become something normal between you two that you feed him while he rest his head on your lap? ...Probably not. But did they knew that Mogari was ten times clingier with you and was always looking around to find you? Yeah— they are tired that he doesnt confess.

It was weird of him, well— he was weird already for lots of people, but its actually weird seeing him so...soft more than his usual goofy side. Mogari hummed, his lips staying more than necessary on your fingers as you landed another bite. A silence formed between you two, even if it was comfortable— it was unusual for Mogari to just shut up around you, what was he thinking of?

"Its weird of you to stay silent, could it be that someone isnt enjoying the food?" - You jokingly said, for a split second you saw him a little serious, but keeping that softness before he leaves a snort— not a complete laugh.

"You should kill me if one day i dont enjoy your food!" - He simply responds, evading your gaze once again, even his answers were too short.

Your mouth opened slightly in surprise. You had already told yourself a dozen times that this was weird— Mogari never stayed this calm, or this silent, or looked like he was deep in thought.

You were about to ask him what was wrong, but your gaze connected with his, and he was quicker to speak without thinking—almost as if he was going to say something else but accidentally blurted out something different.

"I love you." - Mogari says breaking the silence, surprising even himself since you noticed how his eyes widened with yours.

At your shocked silence, Mogari thought he fucked up and made you uncomfortable— well, of course! How could you feel the same when his moves were always doing stupid shit around you? From what Eugene told him, people usually try to flirt— but he's really bad on that. He sitted on the bed quickly, almost hitting your head with his as he rubbed his neck nervously, he felt exposed.

"Ah-! Sorry, you know how i am! Ha, ha...! i was joking, trying something i saw on internet— i feel good! i mean, why i wouldnt i—" - You inturrupted his nonsense blurt pressing a soft kiss into his lips, he wouldnt stop talking if you didnt do that.

It was soft, clumsy— at first he freezed not knowing how to correspond, until Mogari just melted against you. Time passed more slowly, it felt like a fever dream— how did you two even manage to do this so quickly? Seconds ago, kissing looked like something far from now, but here you are, kissing the dummy boy you like. Neither of you questioned the quick way you two got to kiss, that small confession— a wrong move coming from a nervous Mogari, gived him this lovely consequence of getting a kiss, in his silent bedroom...He hopes its not a dream.

Mogari didnt give you much space every time your lips separated; he stayed just a breath away from yours, only to quickly dive back after murmuring a soft "One more time" not even giving you the chance to answer. He loved it. He had never had a girlfriend before— kisses were something completely new to him, and they were delicious... addictive, even. He wanted to learn; he was eager to keep kissing you— trying to figure out whether you preferred quicker kisses or slower ones, deep or soft ones. Honestly, by now, he thought he liked every kind of kiss... as long as they were with you.

Mogari continued it eagerly, totally forgetting his act of being badly injured, his bandaged arms coming to pin you against the mattress without a bad intention. Once he separated, totally out of breath, you leaved a laugh at his half-lidded gaze

"Werent you injured loverboy?" - You ask with a teasing expression, your eyebrow questioning his false act even if your cheeks were just as red as his.

Mogari blinked surprised, seeing his bandaged arm for a moment before grinning at you for getting caught in his stupid act. He leaned down to brush his nose against you, an eskimo kiss. "Well, dont people say kisses are magical and heal everything? I guess thats what happened!" - He jokingly said, but you could notice how soft he got compared to his usual energetic side He sighed, and a small silence passed between the two of you once again before he looked at you intently, his eyes shining in the darkness.

Murmuring into the calmness of the night, as if it were a secret meant for you and only you, one of his hands came up to cup your cheek, already guiding you slowly toward his lips.

"Can we kiss one more time...?"