#doesn't feel good does it guys?

[on-wednesdays-we-eat-the-rich]

I'm posting about autism again.

Because I've seen a couple of posts making the rounds that I've had some Feelings about but I only just managed to put them into words.

The posts are something along the lines of "neurodivergent people are making jokes about neurotypical people and Clearly this means neurodivergent people think neurotypicals aren't real". Or, to shorten it slightly: "neurodivergent people are oppressing neurotypicals by making jokes about them".

I have made a post already in which I semi-comedically argue against this idea, but I thought I might as well write an essay about it too just to make sure I'm being completely clear.

For a little bit of context, here are the kinds of jokes neurodivergent people make about neurotypicals (taken from pins in my autism board on Pinterest) (just to clarify, neurodivergence is not limited to autism and covers a whole bunch of different disabilities; the reason these jokes are mostly about autism is because I got them from my autism board. I'm sure people with other disabilities have made similar jokes.)

Obviously there are other examples but these are my favourites. Especially the last one, it's hilarious.

Why do we make these jokes?

Because they're funny

To parody the kind of mocking we get from neurotypicals by turning it back on them and showing how silly it is

To let off steam after a frustrating social interaction

Probably more reasons because I don't speak for everyone

Very rarely do I see a neurodivergent person make a joke that is specifically meant to hurt, harass or alienate a neurotypical person. However, those are all common reasons that neurotypicals make jokes about us.

You can apply the same logic to basically any marginalised group. For example, we see a lot of queer people make jokes about straight people, right? Always silly sarcastic things like "straight people have no fashion sense". Why is this a common joke? Because it's a very common stereotype that queer people, especially gay men, are fashionable and wear pretty clothes. Also, we get a fair bit of confusion from straight people about popular gay fashion. So making this joke is both a response to the confusion, and often judgement or piss-taking, and a reclamation of a stereotype that has been used in a derogatory way.

It's a very similar concept with neurodivergence. Many symptoms of disabilities, for example, autistic special interests, have been commonly seen as something bad that needs to be changed, and have only recently been reclaimed by the neurodivergent community as a good thing that brings joy. Special interests are still made fun of by people who don't understand them. We get called obsessive, annoying and childish. So if we make a joke like "I guess neurotypicals don't have interests" in response to this, it is not to make all neurotypicals feel bad, or to separate them from us, but to point out and laugh at the ridiculousness of telling us off for something that 1. we have very little control over, and 2. is not even a bad thing.

I don't know if neurotypicals are under the impression that neurodivergent people can't be sarcastic, but if that's the case it would explain rather a lot, because they seem to always take everything we say really seriously. Whereas if they say something about us that is actually hurtful and damaging, and we call them out on it, we have to listen to them call us overdramatic snowflakes and tell them that yes, we can in fact take a joke. The difference is that what they're saying is rarely actually a joke. Because they believe it. For hundreds of years, they've learned and been taught to believe that we're some kind of alien species, that we don't even count as human beings, that we either have no feelings at all or we express our feelings too much, that we need to change everything about ourselves to live up to their standards, and that we should never have existed at all. And when we retaliate, they tell us we're hurting their feelings. They say, "you know neurotypicals are still people, right?" and it's exactly the same thing that straight people do to queer people, that cis people do to trans* people, that white people do to POC, that men do to women, that any privileged group does to any marginalised group as soon as they show the slightest bit of resistance. All of a sudden you're the victims and we have to be reminded that you're People and you have Feelings and you can't take even a little bit of criticism because if you do you'll spontaneously combust. You're the ones who have been dehumanising us for as long as you've known about our existence, but sure. We could stand to be taken down a peg or two, right?

I'm reminded of James Acaster's stand-up routine in which he took the piss out of other comedians like Ricky Gervais for making transphobic jokes.

"I'm An EdGy CoMeDiAn, It'S mY jOb To ChAlLeNgE pEoPlE! Yeah because you know who's long overdue a challenge? The trans community."

I'm just going to leave that here. Feels like its fits.

[the-force-awakens]

Still not used to this life or death situation stuff. That's good, 'cause I'm not either. You never get used to it.

[thatsparrow]

giving psych another go after having watched the first season and a bit a couple years ago before stopping because I hadn't really been feeling it

only like six or seven eps in this time, and I am enjoying it, and I would like to stick with it this time, but god, now I do remember why I gave up on it in the first place. for all the show has going for it (which is a lot!) so much of the tone (and shawn is usually the biggest offender) falls back on those really insufferable attitudes from the mid ’00s of like. hit on every woman you see, getting laid is always the biggest priority. kneejerk disdain for anything nerdy or "uncool." I'm a guy and that means I care about porn and sports and that's it

[clarissaweasley-10]

Here is your reading dose of motivation: Max fell for Xander while he just had one effing eyebrow. There's still some hope out there folks don't loose faith.

[possamble]

AHA thank u i was mostly just. frantically pulling the "no hetero" card bc farcille is super super always endgame for me and the "marcille has two hands" thing is absolutely not for me and my personal characterization of marcille

i like. can't find it anymore for some reason but there was a farcille fic set just after the shuro confrontation where laios reaches over to hold marcille's hand and ask her if she likes him or if she's just tolerating him too and it was so. the vulnerability. the puppyness.

that safety and security he must feel in knowing that she wears her heart on her sleeve and he will always know when she's unhappy with him because she will absolutely let it be known. the way that falin's first revival was the turning point for the way he felt about her because, for the first time in his life, protecting falin wasn't something he had to shoulder alone. there was finally someone else who cared about her as much as he did (in his eyes, resenting his parents for failing to protect her) and would stop at nothing to save her. the way it must have been proof for him that, not only was falin not alone anymore, he wasn't alone anymore.

idk why i like rather than dislike the fact that his only framework for parsing how he feels about "the first girl other than his sister that he's ever cared this much about" is a comphet romantic lens. like he would have the autism moment of fully assuming that he's in love with her for a while and just like. not? doing anything about it? because he doesn't feel the urge to, nor is he sad that he knows marcille would mostly likely never "feel the same way" about him?

like. he "figures out" that he's "in love with marcille" with all the passion of printing out a label and sticking it onto a favourite scrapbook for organizational purposes. he's equally happy to be her husband or brother-in-law so long as it means she stays close and is part of his family.

i know logically i should hate it but it's sooo crunchy to me. my comphet besties ever. designated plus one and dance partner to all fancy and formal occasions. having actual real chemistry but the "romantic" part of it is some weird shapeshifter smokescreen. augh

[skitskatdacat63]

I don't know how I'd ever convey this in art but. Thinking very deeply about how in boy king au, a very crucial part of characterization is that Seb is a wolf in sheep(or lamb more specifically)'s clothing and Fernando is a sheep in wolf's clothing.

Seb is very unassuming, very delicate, seemingly very vulnerable and malleable. But, deep down, he can be very ruthless. It's in the the way he hesitantly declares war, with a spark in his eye and a suppressed smirk. In the way he challenges someone to a card game or a horse race, proclaiming that he's not great, but winning every round and prancing around the room and mentioning it ad infinitum. The way he's able to instantly turn the tide in a debate in one fell swoop. By showing all his cards constantly and letting himself be vulnerable, he's making himself invulnerable. No one would ever consider him to be able to make big moves, so he wins every single time, because no one even thinks to expect it from him.

Fernando on the other hand, is constantly committed to having a looming presence and harsh reputation, but deep down, he's soft. He knows what happens to people when they're vulnerable, and he's not going to let himself be taken advantage of. The way he keeps a brave face when being informed of the marriage proposal, but goes back to his room and cries. The way he proclaims that he was always going to be the rightful ruler of Spain, but confides to Flavio that he never thought there was any real chance of it ever happening. The way he takes himself so seriously in public, but inside feels so giddy whenever he can make someone laugh. Everything to him always feels unstable and ready to crumble at any moment, and he's not willing to contribute to that by letting himself relax.

I think thats why it's very difficult for them to get along at first, because they have completely different approaches to how they carry themselves and make their way through life. Seb is confused at Fernando because he feels that he's very bland and overly serious at first, but truthfully he's not really seeing the actual Fernando. And Fernando finds Seb to be naive and easily taken advantage of, but that's because he's never seen Seb at his most cruel. Seb really loves when he eventually gets to see Fernando being vulnerable, and Fernando really admires and respects Seb when he sees him being serious. I think it just takes a while for them to show the other their full and complete selves, even the parts they can sometimes be ashamed of. There's this very compelling dichotomy in Seb laying out all his cards, but still being very difficult to read, and Fernando keeping his cards to his chest, but his intentions often being easily seen through.

[yuseirra]

***onk spoilers!!!***

I think Kamiki may be trying to find something precious enough to trade with Ai's life, may it be his own or someone else's???

Coming to think of it, he met Ruby at the shrine (ch147) and something about a "wish" came up. The way he speaks with ruby, it seemed like he also had his own wish that he's put a lot of thoughts into and came to accept

Mephisto and Fatal both mention about wishes and wishing.

And those wishes have to do with wishing Ai back, are they not??

I'm sorry, I've been repeating the same idea in several posts now but I JUST remembered about that chapter. He's the one that brings the idea of gods back onto the table may it be brief. He talks like he knows about their nature, so he probably is aware of gods or their significance at least, that they actually ARE capable of doing supernatural things. However, Fatal and Mephisto also mention about wishes having failed to come true. That ALSO aligns with kamiki's attitude in that particular chapter saying that gods don't really give out answers and you have to come up with your own. Whatever he's up to, the gods might not have accepted it, or are even against it.

perhaps he's wished to bring Ai back but had been failing miserably, so he's becoming more and more reckless about it.

what he says there makes me wrap my head a little, it sounds like he's been where ruby's been. He might be talking about himself and trying to convince himself of his own resolve

He says he doesn't mind rotting away himself, but there's still something he has to do before that happens. I think that'd have to do with about a wish, he has a goal to fulfill.

I found the full lyric for Fatal(the new op) and it had lyrics like

あなたがいないと生いきていけない

眩まぶしさでこの身みを照てらして欲ほしい

あなたの愛あいがまだ足たらない

ただ一ひとつのアイに近ちかづきたい

I can't live without you

I want you to light up my body with your dazzling glare

I still lack your love

I want to get closer to the one and only Ai.

Aqua wants to get Ai's "revenge", he'd want to see Ai once more, yeah, but that isn't his goal, he doesn't work to meet her again. He plans to fulfill what Ai's really wanted by listening to what she's wanted to say

but the person in Mephisto (who is HUNGRY for Ai's affection) and Fatal actually WANTS to see Ai again, present tense.

あらゆる望のぞみの総すべてを叶かなえたら　ああ果はたせたら

あなたに会あいたい

If I could fulfill all my hopes, all my wishes, all my dreams, if I could make it all come true

I wish I could see you

But how IS this person going to make that happen?

I feel like finding someone that outshines Ai would have something to do with it, coming from how his reactions when he saw ruby having a chance to outshine Ai-

He feels happy about her possibility of her life having even more value than her.

He could just be being a proud dad there (I'm not taking that out of the possibility).. but you see where I'm trying to get at, right? He probably needs someone like that in order to fulfill his wish. Likely their life.

I think those lyrics from mephisto and fatal were there for a reason, those two songs are WAY too similar to each other in terms of the theme and the vibes they're giving. This speaker hasn't given up on the possibility of having Ai back, they talk like that is a thing that CAN happen, they keep.. talking towards them, even when the one they're talking to's already passed long ago. Look at me, You gave me time, Let me hear your voice.. stuff like that. That kind of attitude is more like Kamiki than Aqua. Kamiki talks about rotting away, he's never moved on from Ai's death, has he? It's like she's still alive for him?

Idk, I just really like those two songs. I have been repeating Fatal nonstop ever since I first listened to it yesterday and I can't get this thought out of my head. I'll keep thinking like this until I'm proven wrong, I guess o<-< I keep finding more stuff that may back it up and I can't stop...

[solarpunkani]

Y'know someone's probably waxed poetic about this already but it's on my mind so I'm gonna do it again.

When it comes to encouraging people to learn about native plants and habitat and involving themselves and their yards in the wider ecosystem, you gotta meet them where they're at.

And maybe that means they won't go as far into it as you are or would like them to in your wildest dreams. But even small steps count towards the bigger picture and I think we need to appreciate that more.

An example from my own life is my mom and the current gardening project we're working on. We're planning out the garden beds in the front of the yard by the mailbox--my mom's previous plantings for the most part haven't worked out, so I'm taking a crack at it.

I'm a pollinator gardening enthusiast who cares more about attracting as many butterflies bees and hummingbirds as possible than keeping things 'neat' and 'tidy'. However, not only do we live in an HOA neighborhood (though not as intense as some other stories I've heard), but I know my mother--an interior designer who has a deeply vested care for making sure the exterior of the house looks as Nice as possible.

We're still getting a pollinator garden in the front though. How? I'm meeting her where she's at, I'm making some concessions, she's making some concessions, but ultimately we're making something that works for the both of us. She doesn't want the plants too tall and messy? We'll trim them back in fall and winter--the insects can use the backyard garden to nest in. She doesn't want things too wild and bushy and weedy? We'll add a nice mulch to the beds, keep things a bit spaced out until they grow in to their larger sizes. She doesn't know the latin names for the plants I'm asking for, let alone how to pronounce them to ask for them at a garden center? That's fine, I don't know the Latin names for most things anyways, let's just use common names.

Does she care that the garden will attract butterflies and hummingbirds? Not intrinsically--she sees it as more of a bonus, if anything. She just cares about what color everything will be and if it'll be easy to maintain. The fact that they're native plants barely registers as a plus side to her. And honestly? That is fine.

If I approached this problem with a hardheaded attitude on how I wanted it to be just as wild and free as my backyard garden? There wouldn't be any native plants in the front beds. It's not like I didn't teach my mom things, but I didn't lecture her like she was lesser just for not knowing or caring as much about native gardening as I do. And that, ultimately, made her more open to the idea than she would've been if I looked down on her like I've seen too many people do to others.

Not everyone is going to develop a deeply seated care about native plants and Latin names and I don't think it's reasonable to expect that. Meet people where they're at and you just might get a lot more done. Meet people where they're at and you just might find they'll get excited enough to learn more--but if they don't want to learn more, that is fine.

We can't expect everyone on the globe to suddenly become plant experts rattling off Latin names left and right and professionally ID'ing native and invasive plants. In the same way we wouldn't expect everyone to suddenly learn the ins and outs of learning code, or how to synthesize medicines, or how to properly build a house. And that is fine. Because we can lean on those who do know when these things come up.

I lost track of where this was going but. Y'know????

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

[loving-jack-kelly]

i think spot admires jack very deeply and looks up to him a lot but would rather be stabbed to death than ever say that out loud. btw. i think jack respects spot and everything that he's done more than almost anybody else in the world but would rather be set on fire than admit it. also.

[askblueandviolet]

mac, You should kick their ass, they're not that strong right now

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[brionnnne]

note that i will only ever call mithrun "stupid" jokingly. by "stupid", i only mean "frustrating behavior that i am immensely familar with". seeing him do something that makes me groan aloud, closing my eyes, sighing "stupid (affectionate, mournful)". like when he fucking... his dumbass "i don't want to [use the bathroom] right now, so it's fine." oughh. i know you! i know you! that's not how that works!!! and he's smart!!! he's so smart... but god, god... he's kind of an absent professor. he's kind of a cloudcuckoolander. i love him dearly. he gets called a dummy, a little idiot, and i flick his forehead, a little bonk of hard-heads, like "try again, idiot. that's not how bodies work." and "ooh, 'that's not going to work'. yes it is. shut up, stoopid. stubborn little man, my god." rolling my eyes forever.

[anaalnathrakhs]

i feel it's so fucking stupid and ungrateful but it still hurts a little when someone gifts me something i just don't like. i don't know. i know it's dumb and inaccurate to astrain that much meaning to a simple gift, but it feels kinda like they don't know me. i guess it feels like people don't see me, like a reminder that the person i reflect and the person i feel like are incredibly different.

[zukkaoru]

the disparity in kudos between a skk fic and a fic for literally any other bsd characters/ship :/

[macroglossus]

it's been said before but will's honey-pot scheme is consistently so so so funny. he was like "i HATE this man. i want him DEAD. i want to TAKE HIM DOWN. jack, LET ME TAKE HIM DOWN!!!!" and jacks like "jesus okay! i mean i guess that's fair bc he did majorly fuck you over. so what are you gonna do? i know that every time you guys talk one of you cryptically confesses intent to kill so are you gonna wear a wire?" and will's like "what? no. of course not, are you stupid? i'm going to brush my hair and buy a new wardrobe and get really really visibly into his hobbies. i'm going to murder a man in cold blood and display his corpse with clear loving attention to detail. i'm going to eyefuck him at the scene of the crime RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. i'm going to eat his people food and make increasingly intimate eye-contact despite how i have vocally expressed how much i hate it with literally everyone else." and jack's like "oh. what? that doesn't seem really necessary" and will says "it's fine, i'll do it" and jack's like "really no one's asking you to do any of this" and will's like "it's FINE". and jack still is like yeah we can count on will :)

[front-facing-pokemon]