#does this qualify as a meet cute?

[karizipan]

ermm scanned some stuff... some of the orv in my sketchbook + tidbits of my silly merfolk yjh au

[evilminji]

"DO BETTER!" Says Now Televised Fanboy

He, Dash Baxter is a Phan-Stan!! It's kinda his thing. See, he's a fancy ass talk show host now. Married Paulie, moved out of Amity, actually DID something with his life. His parents? Did not approve. Long n short of it? He got kicked out.

Paulie's parents were PISSED.

Retaliated by giving him all the help he needed getting EVERY scholarship he qualified for. He went to a really nice college. Missed his girlfriend like mad. But she was off in Metropolis, terrifying weaker men. Conquering the fashion scene.

And SOMEHOW? Thanks to that long talk he had with Phantom (*incoherent fanboy gibbering noises* SO COOL!) he's worked to be... more of a LEADER, you know? Less of an asshole. Cause he's popular. People copy him. He can't be an asshole.

So, somehow, when he's punching out some try-hard that thinks he's hot shit for bullying a Nerd? He and the nerd get talking, right? Cause the guy got his glasses completely fucked up. And it's what Phantom would do.

But GET THIS? Guy's never HEARD of Phantom! Is super curious, cause he runs a small time Hero's show on the web. And, Dude? Is it your LUCKY DAY! Cause you just met THE number 1 fan of Phantom, hands down!! He makes his VERY spirited case, about why Phantom is THE best Hero to ever have lived. And this guy?

Entranced.

In AWE.

Just straight up BEGS him to join his show. Cause apparently? He was BORN for it. Which? Yeah. He HAS been giving speechs to the team for YEARS now. And Talking at fan meet ups. Leading fan meet ups. Hosting parties... actually, now that he thinks about it? He DOES do a lot of public speaking? Huh.

But still, he's about to say "no", when?

Dude mentions? He'll get to talk about Phantom.

SOLD!

It. Blows. Up. Absolutely EVERYONE is in love with his pretty face, hot bod, and STRONG opinions. But they ALSO have no idea who Phantom is! Paulie! This is CRIMINAL! Horrifying! What is going ON!?

Some bullshit information black out, apparently. At least according to her... friendly Nemesis? The Goth Dweeb. Who's engaged, apparently? So good for her. Unsurprisingly, it's too the OTHER Dweebs, but still. Bout time she started planning to drag them to a court house. She's the only one with any spine in that group! If she waited for THEM to propose?

Not even as Ghosts, man.

They'd get distracted by shiny nerd shit and whimp out.

Still... a world where NO ONE knows how Awesome, Phantom is? Not on HIS watch!

So he works it in. To every segment. It becomes "his thing". Oh? Super man saved a kitten from a tree? Cute. Well PHANTOM saved a bus full of Ghost Puppies from a shady, rouge, Goverment agency. Do BETTER, Superman!

The Flash, who is a cheap knock-off and stole his name, took down an Ice Villian? Adorable! PHANTOM stopped a Rouge WINTER SPIRIT with the help of YETI WARRIORS then assisted in giving FREE medical care for anyone who needed it! Here's a picture of him making GHOST ICE SNOWMEN for small children! Do BETTER, Knock-off!

What's THAT you say? Wonder Woman fought a GOD in down town paris?

Excellent work Wonder Woman. Flawless as always. But YOU, god-boy, are a disappointment! All that power! And WHAT do you use it for? Are you even supposed to BE here?? PHANTOM uses his power to HELP people! Is awesome and knows TONS of better gods! You're just salty you didn't make the cut!

DO BETTER!

And obviously? No one believes him. There's no record of this "Phantom" guy. The pictures look fantastical and vaguely glitchy/glowy. Not quite right. They GOTTA be photo shopped. Manipulated somehow. But? As a shtick? A fake "perfect Superhero" is kinda funny and unique.

And it's one hell of Fake Hero!

A Dead Champion? Who fights gods and monsters? Rouge agencies? Sassy and tragic? With a mysterious past? Pretty cool! There's even an Offical Comic from some guy that went to the same high-school as Baxter!

Of course, as Baxter get more and more popular? The "meme" hero, Phantom, get more well known? People get more interested in where Dash grew up. You know, just a bored Google. Maybe see if the hero was based off a local legend or something. But... huh...

The Town website?

Weirdly? Sanitized.

Like... like aggressively sanitized. All smooth edges and no details. Very "move along, citizen". Ha ha... it's part of the joke right? They get it! They'll just look up local restaurants or som-....

Wait...

Hey, guuuuys?

Are you finding ANYTHING?

And! Nothing. And I do mean NOTHING! Triggers the "oh? Secrets???" Instincts of a Hacker, like finding a hard blank wall of "KEEP OUT". Especially when it's somewhere it rightfully shouldn't BE.

All it would take? Is ONE person, of decent skills and an account on Certain Forums, getting bored enough to Google the Dude On The TV(TM)? For the GIW's lil walls to come crashing down. Because yeah, you can stop ONE hacker. Even two. Probably five or six.

But how about thousands?

Hundreds of thousands?

From every time zone. Competing. Just to see what you HAVE and don't want them to see. Maybe they do something with it, maybe they don't. But fuck it, you're being RUDE and now they're CURIOUS. And THEN? Oh. Oh holy shit.

Not a meme.

Very real.

Not a joke.

The walls come crumbling down, down, down. Ripped apart by hundreds of hands. Emails sent to every sort of agency. The JLU line inundated with emergency tips. Not a joke. Not A Joke. Holy Shit, IT WASN'T A JOKE!

Phantom is REAL!

And there, on TV, stands the Man. The signal FINALLY breaching containment. Fighting off the invading God of the week. Built like statue, hair like an aurora borealis of white fire held almost delicately in place by a CROWN of ice, a suit made of void and starlight. Inhuman. Beyond human.

Here to help.

A laugh that crackles like ice and the snap of winter, rolls through the air like coming storms, rich and somehow warm. A smile that bares teeth, yet turns so KIND when he looks upon humanity, as though we are precious and worth fighting for. A living star.

A... a once living star.

And in the center of it all? Wearing his BESPOKE, custome made, Number 1 Phan full body outfit? That's right. Dash Baxter. Ha! You fuckers doubted him! Behold his blorbo and WEEP, ya fuckin casuals! The BESTEST of boys! The FINEST of Heros! Superman? Could NEVER.

And now? The weather!

@babbling-babull @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @hypewinter @hdgnj @mutable-manifestation

[mywritersmind]

pookieeee how are youuu 💗 I'm in NEED of a Franco fic where the reader is João Félix's little sister...

So she obvi speaks Portuguese and English (maybe some Italian in there too) butttt unlike her brother her Spanish is rusty. So when reader drags her brother (and of course some of the guys from the team) to support her best friend at a race, he's listening in to every little comment Franco makes about her in Spanish and trying to subtly give hints to reader that he likes her, and of course some good brother teasing! Just hardcore fluff, friend pining and good old family banter!

HE CAN UNDERSTAND - FC43

listen up : i used google translate don’t come for me. not proofread! super cute and fluffy! loved this request sorry if i didng execute it well😭

word count : 2281

⋆｡‧˚⋆

“Franco!” I jump into my best friends arms as he laughs. The moment I asked for three Grand Prix tickets, he sent them over immediately and went on a rant of how excited he was to see me.

“Y/n!” He grins widely at me, “I’m so happy you’re here!” He's in his race suit, his hair messy and extra wavy. I run my hand through it, fixing it a bit.

“You’re a mess.” I laugh as he pushes my hand away and rolls his eyes, “Oh!” I suddenly remember that my brother is standing behind me. “This is my brother, João! I can’t believe you two haven’t met!” I smile at both of them as my brother shakes Franco’s hand.

Oddly professional for someone he knows I love. “Nice to finally meet you. Y/n never shuts up about you.” I slightly blush at his words as Franco lets out a laugh.

“Good to know…” Franco gives us a mini tour. I'm so beyond happy for him. This has been his dream since forever, the first time I met him he even jokingly flirted and said I could be a WAG.

Franco is charming and hilarious so my brother likes him instantly. We end up in the William’s garage, everyone scrambling around and talking in languages I can’t understand.

Since it’s race day, i’m genuinely surprised Franco had the time to see us. Especially since Qualifying was earlier today.

But my best friend works in magical ways.

⋆༺

FRANCO

I watch Y/n talk to Alex’s girlfriend. I watch as her hair flows down her back and her hand covers her mouth as she laughs. “So,” João turns to me, sort of intimidating for his height but so far I think he approves of me. “You’ve known Y/n for a while, huh?”

I nod, “Yeah, she hasn't been able to shake me yet.” He laughs, nodding his head.

“You care about her?” Why do I feel like i’m getting interrogated?

I nod, “Of course. She’s my best friend.”

“I mean as more than a friend.”

I laugh uncomfortably, joking with him, “Are you asking me my intentions?” He does not find this funny. I clear my throat and breathe out, “We’re just friends.”

Y/n comes skipping back over to us. I’ve always been taught to not lie, but i’m not about to confess that I like her to fucking brother.

“J, you’ve got to see his car!” She takes his arm and pulls him away, “You coming, Fran?”

I’m about to follow after them but my engineer taps my shoulder, “Gimmie one second! Don't touch anything, Y/n, I know how you are!”

She gives me one of her signature smiles, making my pulse quicken and my smile falter. I catch her brother giving me an odd look before I sit up and wave.

I turn to my engineer who’s smiling, big, “Dios mío, te estás sonrojando.” (My god, you’re blushing.) I roll my eyes at him, turning to see Y/n point to my car and start asking questions to someone in blue.

“¡Cállate por favor!” (Shut up please!) Her Spanish is more than rusty. I've tried to teach her some but she gets distracted and she always ends up persuading me into something different. Still, it’s weird talking about her when she’s right there.

“Vamos, ¡te gusta! Es la forma en que la miras... como si fuera el sol.” (Come on, you like her! It’s the way you look at her… like she’s the sun.) I push his shoulder at his words. Christ, is it that obvious?

“Actúas como si fuera un cachorrito enamorado.” (You act like i’m some lovesick puppy)

“¡Porque lo eres! Siempre hablas de ella, tu pantalla de bloqueo es ella, ¡siempre le estás enviando mensajes de texto! Admítelo.” (Because you are! You always talk about her, your lock screen is her, you are always texting her! Just admit it.)

I cross my arms at him, not daring to glance back at her. “No voy a arruinar mi relación con ella…” I shake my head and tease him, “¡Ahora vuelve a trabajar!” (I’m not ruining my relationship with her… now get back to work!)

I join Y/n and João again, smiling and doing my duty as a tour guide. João gives me another weird look and i’m hoping it’s not because i’m losing his trust. I know i’m not her boyfriend, but I still want him to like me.

They are soon asked to step into the visitors area as I warm up for the race. Y/n kisses my cheek before she goes, “Good luck, Fran. Be careful!” I know my cheeks are red but all I can focus on is her so close to me, her lips on my cheek.

I nod, “Thank you. Have fun watching.” I wink at her and turn, getting ready.

⋆༺

YOU

“I’m so nervous! It’s so rainy!” I bite my lip as the cars go out on track in a second formation lap. The race hasn’t even started and someone’s already out!

My brother eyes me, he’s been acting weird all day and I hate it. He suddenly turns to me, “You don’t like Franco?”

It catches me off guard, “Uh… of course I do?” He rolls his eyes.

“I mean can you see yourself with him? I think you’d be cute.” I laugh out loud.

“João, when have you ever wanted me to date someone?” Especially Franco. I mean, maybe i’ve thought about it.

Okay maybe I've fantasized about it… a lot.

But what am I supposed to do? Confess to my best friend who’s always been there for me that I think he’s irresistible and criminally hot? No.

“I just think if you’re gonna date anyone… He’s a good option.” My cheeks heat as I shake my head, “You’re blushing! Come on, Y/n, why not?”

“Just shut up, the race is starting!”

The next time he brings it up is at a yellow flag, “He’s definitely nicer than your ex.” I give him a death glare and attempt to tune him out, “And who did you go crying to after he broke your heart….?” Franco. The answer is Franco because he’s always there.

It’s been hard recently because of his races, but he’s constantly texting or calling me. I think he just wants someone to gossip with.

“Again, he’s my friend. Just because you have a girlfriend now doesn’t mean you know everything!”

“No but I know everything about you, and you don’t look at your other friends like that.” I hate that stupid smug smile on his face. And I hate that he’s right.

My stomach drops when Franco goes into the wall. I grab onto my brother's arm who doesn’t look concerned at all and more happy that i’m so worried! I slap his arm, “You have no empathy!”

I cross my arms, biting my lip as I watch him exit the car. Thank god he’s okay.

Franco gives me a small thumbs up when he’s back in the garage. I can tell he’s absolutely gutted, the air is awkward and thick with tension since Franco’s crash meant that the whole team's weekend is over.

The race is long and honestly scary. Still, all I can think about is Franco.

Maybe this weekend, his attention to me, my brothers comments, and how Franco’s been looking at me, has finally sealed what I've been dreading.

I’ve known I like him for a while, but I don’t want to ruin us. I can’t be embarrassed by my closest friend!

I’m not an idiot, I see how he flirts with interviewers or even fans. Part of me wants to believe that’s just his personality, but the other part is screaming at me that he doesn’t like me.

His eyes though, he looks at me so deeply that sometimes I feel like I'm apart of some big trick.

“Hey,” My brother nudges me, “Race is over.” I snap out of whatever daze I was in and nod, “I gotta pee, go talk to Franco!”

When I look to where he points, Franco’s already looking at me. His race suit is unzipped and he looks so tired. “Hi.” He smiles softly but I can tell it’s forced.

“Sorry your first race with me sucked.” He frowns, leaning against the little barrier from the garage and friends and family.

“Hey…” I touch his arm briefly, “It did not suck! And It’s not your fault. It was scary though…”

His eyes look sad and I know it’s not just because he crashed. Franco feels so deeply and this weekend has been especially hard for him. I can tell he sees the worry on my face, “I'm really really happy you’re here. We’re getting dinner later, right?”

I go to the hotel with João first. We change and meet back at the restaurant. “I’m so hungry!” I groan as we sit down, Franco said he would be here soon but I am not above ordering early.

João sits across from me, “Gotta wait for your boyfriend.”

I eye him, “You better not say anything in front of Franco. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.” He laughs a bit.

“I really don’t think I will.” He’s so ominous today. “I can tell i’m making you uncomfortable though. My only question is… why?”

“Why?”

“Why can’t you accept that you like him? He’s obviously not going to turn you down. He’s practically got hearts in his eyes when he talks to you.” The waiter brings water which I gulp down immediately.

“I- No! I can’t like him. He’s my friend.”

“So you’ve said… but the best relationships start out that way.” Why is he pushing this so much?

“I just… I don’t want to ruin our relationship.”.

“Funny…” he mumbles something, “That's what he said too.” but I can’t hear him because Franco sits and starts saying hello.

Our dinner is amazing, the food is perfect and I can’t stop laughing at Franco and João. “You’ve gotta come to a match sometime!” My brother laughs, “The team would love you.”

Franco grins, “I would be honored! Y/n always talks about your games, you’re pretty good apparently.” This boosts my brother's ego far too much and we end the night while talking about football and childhood stories.

“He always teased me with his friends!” I roll my eyes at the memory, “They were all learning Spanish in highschool so I never understood them!”

Franco laughs as João shakes his head, “Why didn’t you take spanish in highschool?”

“I did! I just never caught on. Plus João became fluent after school anyway so his schooling barely helped.” I shrug as Franco’s expression turns odd.

He blinks, looking to João, “You’re fluent?”

“Si.” He looks almost smug about it as Franco nods slowly, swallowing.

“Así que escuchaste…” (So you heard…)

“Todo.” (Everything) Franco’s smile drops completely at my brothers words. But my brother still carries on with a smile, “Eres muy obvio, pero lo apoyo.” (You’re very obvious, but I support it.)

I frown at their communication that I can’t understand, “Okay, can you two stop gossiping? I’m ready to leave.” Franco smiles at me, nodding slowly as we stand.

Our walk back to the hotel is short and luckily no fans interrupt it. The warmth of the inside makes me smile and the ding of the elevator makes me yearn for my bed.

“Uh, Y/n?” I look back at Franco as he talks, “Could I speak to you for a moment…” I look at my brother who nods, a smile still on his face as he disappears behind the elevator doors. “Let’s go outside.”

It’s no longer raining so we venture out into the hotel's garden. It’s beautiful with tall plants and trees, a small path that we walk on, and flowers that I've never seen before.

“What did you walk to talk to me about?” I turn to him, he looks oddly scared and a bit chilly. He starts to speak but then closes his mouth and thinks, “Franco…?”

“I like you.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, I freeze, “I really like you and not just as a friend… like way more than that.”

I blink, “You’re kidding?”

The panic on his face is immediate, “No?”

“Shit. Okay!” I realize i’m so caught up in my own world that he probably thinks I don’t like him, “I feel the same.”

He breathes out, stepping closer, “You fucking scared me.”

I smile, not believing this is even real, “You really like me? Because my brother has been making me feel delusional all day!” He takes my hand in his and I swear my heart skips a beat.

“He heard me talking about you in spanish…” I raise a brow, “My engineer was teasing me and I didn’t know he spoke it!” I laugh, shaking my head at his story, “But I'm glad he did. I probably would be sitting in my room all alone if he hadn't.”

I grip his hand tighter, stepping closer, “I’m really glad too. I didn’t want to ruin anything but fuck I really like you.”

He grins and leans in, He paused before I nod. Franco presses a kiss to my lips softly, “I can’t believe you have a crush on me.” I whisper as groans and rolls his eyes, trying to walk away.

“No! No taking it back now!” I laugh, pulling him back to me, my hand going to his neck and my lips meeting his, “You’re stuck with me now.”

[rubra-wav]

I had this interesting scenario where Vox one day becomes exhausted from his rivalry with Alastor after realizing that the one-sided interactions were becoming old. He later meets the reader (who can also be a part of the hotel) who starts hacking into Voxtech's database to troll the company for shits and giggles. This catches Vox's attention and he's pissed about it. You can do what you want for the rest but they continue to have this rivalry to the point where it's very well known around hell. From an outside perspective, there is just back-and-forth angry banter but there are moments where they're just;

Reader: *appears on screen* Hey Box head, guess who found some good blackmail with your name on it- Vox: *Is so close to having a breakdown, he had a bad week.* Reader: Oh shit- did something happen, are you okay? 😰

They hate each other but they don't hate hate each other. This can be taken as platonic or romantic. I sent this request to someone else but I wanted to share anyway.

Vox x troll/hacker reader: Why So Blue? (Oneshot/concept version)

Why So Blue fic Masterlist

A/N me when I get to write Vox getting utterly humiliated by a troll-y hacker demon 🫶

I changed about the order of stuff as things happen a bit and took creative liberties with this one - sorry if it's really different then the thought you originally had.

(REQUESTS ARE CLOSED, THIS WAS FROM THE LAST TIME THEY WERE OPEN)

Update: This was really well-received, and several people have requested a part 2. I've decided that I will be writing it properly from the start in a proper chapter kind of way rather than in this format so it makes continuity kind of work better rather then the drabbl-y format used here.

Cw: SFW, romantic, enemy's to lovers type beat, references to one-sided radiostatic, also references to staticmoth, mildly suggestive in one part 💀, gn reader, mostly light-hearted - idk if it qualifies as quite hurt/comfort lmao

- It was just a normal morning for Vox when you first showed up.

- As usual, he booted up for the day, got changed out of his casual clothes, and made his morning coffee.

- As he walked into his computer room, absentmindedly sipping his coffee while looking at his phone, he sits down in his desk.

- Then promptly spits out his mouthful.

- When he finally looks up at the screens around him, he's mortified to see a muted video of himself passionately (and very drunkly) singing and dancing horribly from last night while he was out with Valentino and Velvette.

- Posted on Sinstagram from his own account.

- Hundreds of comments flooded in underneath it; laughing, saying it's cute, complimenting his singing, and talking about the caption underneath with curiosity.

- The caption reads; 'For someone who talks so big about being ahead technologically, it was awfully easy to hack old Boxy here LMAO'

- Vox flips out instantly.

- It doesn't take long to take down the post, change all of his details, and post an official apology for his lack of professionalism with a hypnotising message to forget the whole incident occurred at all. He also does a massive comb over for any other breaches and changes all of his systems to be even more impenetrable to a potional attack.

- He calms down, and the incident fades away to the back of his mind.

- But then it happens again.

- Another morning, an employee is rushing into his studio as he wakes up properly, telling him this time that someone is somehow broadcasting Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' to the entirety of hell at 6 am, interrupting every one of the scheduled programs.

- There's a message in big letters on the bottom of every screen in hell, under the god forsaken video and song playing, saying, "What is love~? - U" Underneath them.

- And that's how it starts, the infuriating thorn in Vox's side that is 'U'. No matter how hard he tries, you're constantly undermining his efforts to keep you out of the system and tormenting him in ways that aren't necessarily malignant but are extremely damaging to his image as the overlord of technology.

- For some reason, he's the only Vee you seem hellbent on coming after as well. Vel finds your pranks funny or cute when they don't inconvenience her, and Valentino just likes to prod Vox into getting angrier further.

- He just cannot work out what your motivations are at all. Is it truly that you just want to piss him off? He doesn't understand why someone with such clear skills would simply use them to taunt him and leave him messages to unveil as he undoes whatever you do.

- It vexes him even farther when these messages from you that you leave for him to decode start to sound borderline flirtatious, which makes him feel all the more humiliated.

- He is a grown demon, skilled businessman and entrepreneur, an overlord, and yet you insist upon calling him things like Box, Boxbabe, Boxbitch, and even babygirl of all things for some goddamn reason.

- The back and forth goes on for months, and 'U' quickly becomes a long lasting meme, several people, much to Vox's horror, shipping you two together and even partaking in ship wars as to whether Vox x 'U' is better then Vox x Val.

- Theres one day where Vox quickly puts his phone down after reading a rather concerning expert from what is certainly explicit fanfiction between the two of you, even him deciding that that's enough internet for today while just sitting staring off into space silently for a solid 10 seconds.

- Vox's sleepless nights pouring over his code to try and keep out your attacks, him glitching out whenever he finds infuriating messages left by you, etc. Begin to become routine and he just anticipates the consistent blows to his pride you give him at every turn.

- A weird, unconscious part of him deep down begins to enjoy your rivalry, almost wanting to see what punches you pull out next to disarm his constant losing battle to keep you out, but it gets squashed down the second he becomes aware of it.

- The rivalry is always at arms length, but sometimes he has to stop himself from replying with the same vaguely flirtatious tone you take on whenever he experiences a small win against you.

- He fights to make sure he doesn't have any potential of getting too into it.

- Things take a different turn, though, with the double blow of Alastor coming back and his on-off relationship with Valentino once again going up in flames.

- After stopping his usual monitoring of all things going on in hell online and in real life as picked up by his cameras, he presses his face into his hands with a long, exhausted groan as he fights crying.

- All the people he was actually interested in were as unrequited as per usual. He always tried so hard with Alastor, but as always, he never got anything but met with the clear reminder they would never be anything more.

- And, of course, any potential of anything more happening with Val was completely off the table. It would be stupid to even think about anything real with him.

- He shut his eyes, putting his screen on the desk in front of him.

- Was he just not worth it? Was that it?

- He startled when he heard the familiar crackle of the speakers coming to life around him. It was rare he ever heard your voice coming through his speakers, you usually preferring to just leave messages, however you decided to surprise him tonight apparently.

- Your blurred out face appears on the screens, only showing the lower half of your grinning face.

- "Oh Boooooxybooooy! I found some world-shattering cringey shit you did 2 months back, i-" You begin singing out, before stopping, seeing by his expression.

- Vox was trembling, looking as if he was about fall apart at any second. His monitor was dulled, red eyes half lidded with pixelated bags forming under them, his bottom lip slightly quivering around his sharp teeth.

- "What the- fuck- ....are you alright?" You asked unsurely.

- Vox finally snapped out of it, realising that you were here witnessing him in a way that was very much not something he wanted you of all people to see him in. His mask slid back on, but it was hardly convincing.

- "Of course it is. What the fuck do you wa-ant. I've got shit to do." He inwardly cursed as his voice glitched slightly. God fucking dammit why did you have to show up.

- He watched your lips on your mostly blurred out face slightly curl as you hummed, clearly not buying it.

- "You wanna stop with the lying bullshit and tell me the truth, Boxhead?" You somewhat chided him, your hand coming into sight as you leaned your cheek onto it. Vox let out a growling sound, going to spit some vitriol at you, but was cut off as you absentmindedly made your next comment.

"Felt you once again have a fit about the radio demon going online. Lights in my house and the houses out my windows started flashing and shit. Is it hi-" your brows shot up and eyes widened, this hidden behind the censorship as you watched Vox, leader of the Vees, your rival, let out a shuddering breath and actually start crying comically pixilated tears right before your eyes.

- Vox's claws gripped into his desk as he grit his teeth as he let out a gasping breath he fought to stifle. He was so goddamn exhausted that he just couldn't be assed to keep it all up anymore. It wasn't like you hadn't seen rather unsavoury things he'd been trying to hide anyways.

- "No shit it's about Alastor. It's always about him. Does it get you off knowing I can't get with the guy I have always wanted no matter how hard I try? There. Are you fucking happy now?" His voice cracks as he snarls the words out at you.

- You let out a long humming sound, as if thinking. "I mean, not really. I'd only be happy if you were this upset over me, not some old hazbin radio announcer who fell off years ago." You shrug with a slightly sad smile.

- Vox squinted at you, confused.

- "I mean, come on, I'm your rival too. Why neglect me so much in all this?" You press your bottom lip out in mock sadness, tone mocking again. Your words are true despite the joking tone however, it did bother you that he always seemed so much more ready to go running after the most obviously aroace man you think you had seen in your entire fucking life.

- Vox couldn't believe what he was hearing, hot embarrassment caused his monitor to start heating up a bit, painting animated flush over his cheeks. "Oh, stop taking the piss, U. Fuck off." He scoffed, rolling his eyes, looking to the side in irritation.

- You chuckle at him, shaking your head and causing the thing blurring your face to shake with it. "Is it really that hard to believe I'm into what we have going on here?" Your voice is still lined with the usual tone you take on with him, but much less so.

- Vox looks back at your blurred, smiling face incredulously. "Yes." He growled, blinking his tears away as he regained his composure a bit.

- You sigh heavily, rolling your eyes. "Ooookay, well, once you're done riding the coattails of a man who will never want you, come hit me up, Boxhead." You say through smiling lips, before abruptly pressing 'hang up' on the call so he didn't have time to actually respond.

- Vox sat in bewildered silence, not able to react properly as his brain felt as if it was working on low resolution comprehending what you just said.

- His face heated up the more he thought about it, heart beginning to hammer in his chest as he laughed in disbelief. No way. No fucking way.

- But you had said it.

- Despite his usual pessimistic nature, he allowed himself to actually believe it, chuckling.

- He looked over to his phone as a notification sound rang out to see a photo of himself presumably just now; flustered, eyes wide in disbelief and unfocused while staring off into space, a crooked grin on his face.

- It was captioned as follows; 'POV: local pathetic radio simp finds out other rival actually wants him'

- "FUCK." He yelled out in embarrassment, knocking out several of his monitors with a surge of electricity.

I loved writing this sm omfggg.

There's definitely part 2 potential to this one, but it would have to be in a while w all the other stuff I'm gonna get to first.

Masterlist

[antvmnos]

flirty / dialogues intro (Lin Kuei trio ver.)

female gender, afab — some references a other works.

Bi-Han (Sub Zero)

Bi-Han: Why did you choose Kuai Liang?

You: I have my reasons.

Bi-Han: I am better, I am what he will never become.

xxx

You: Honorifics don't mean anything, Bi-Han.

Bi-Han: You say that because you don't know me deeply enough.

You: Well…

xxx

You: Do you have enough to be my consort and serve me?

Bi-Han: I am the Grand Master of the Lin Kuei. I'm more than qualified.

You: We'll see about that.

xxx

Bi-Han: I see the way you look at Liu Kang.

You: I just respect him. Jealousy?

Bi-Han: Never. I'm already on your mind.

xxx

You: Stop, please, I'll do whatever you want...

Bi-Han: I told you not to talk about this in public!

You: Don't be shy now, Grandmaster.

Kuai Liang (Scorpion)

Kuai: Bi-Han is not who you think he is.

You: I can fix him.

Kuai: Much more is needed than this.

xxx

Kuai: Why did you choose Bi-Han?

You: Don't worry, everything is under control.

Kuai: His loyalty is flawed. Mine is eternal to you.

xxx

You: Your powers are very interesting, I hope you have other uses.

Kuai: Well I…

You: Syzoth got your tongue? 

xxx

Kuai: How cute. You remind me of a cat.

You: …Thank you?

Kuai: This look intrigues me.

xxx

You: Beauty must be genetic.

Kuai: Everyone said I looked like my father.

You: What a shame, I didn't meet him in time.

Tomas Vrbada

You: I have a place for you too, Tomas.

Tomas: But not in your heart.

You: We can make some adjustments.

xxx

Tomas: So… You, Kuai Liang and… Bi-Han?

You: There's always room for one more.

Tomas: It's that a proposal?

xxx

Tomas: The Elder Goddess of War meets the King of Smoke.

You: King of smoke? Does this king need a queen?

Tomas: Really?

xxx

Tomas: It's an honor to fight against you.

You: Don't worry, I'll be gentle.

Tomas: Gods…

xxx

Tomas: Bi-Han never treated me like a brother, except Kuai.

You: Believe in me, Bi-Han envies your skills.

Tomas: I can't believe this.

a/n: i accept requests for other intros/dialogues/interactions ;)

[entitled-fangirl]

I hope I do.

Barty Crouch Jr. x Potter!reader

Summary: The reader wants Barty to meet her parents. He could not be more worried.

Warnings: cursing. Daddy Crouch issues.

A/N: This was based on an ask!

Masterlist

................................................

"I think you're overthinking this." Y/N stated.

Barty Crouch Jr. had been dating the beloved sister of one James Potter for over a year. 

Although she had been placed in Slytherin, nothing had changed in her family dynamic between her parents and brother.

Sirius and Regulus found themselves a little jealous.

Y/N reached out and grabbed Barty's hand from across the Slytherin table of the Great Hall. "Trust me on this."

Barty took a breath. "But I'm no angel, darling."

She leaned back with a small laugh, "They'll like you because I like you."

He nodded, but his mind was far from eased.

…

Regulus sat at the foot of his bed while half-listening to Barty's rant.

"I mean, her friends? Sure. Her brother? Yeah. But her parents? Parents… they're…" he paused his pacing in thought.

"Hard to please?" Regulus finished.

"Yes! Hard to please." He continued his stride back and forth. "The stress of pleasing your own parents is more than enough. But the parents of your future wife?"

Regulus' eyebrows furrowed, "Maybe don't start your introduction by saying she's your future wife."

Barty sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "You're right. You're always right. But, do you get what I'm saying?"

The youngest Black sibling nodded his head, "Especially if they're anything like James. Bloody annoying and brass."

Barty's eyes widened, "I didn't even think of that. Surely they're not horrible if Sirius is over there constantly."

Regulus shrugged, "He's just as thick headed as Potter."

The two laughed as his clever quip.

The laughter settled and the two were left in sudden serious silence.

"It's just," Barty sighed. "I already know I'm not good enough, especially for her. Blimey, she could have anyone in the world, and I was fortunate enough to be chosen. I already see that, Regulus. I can't take her father reminding me."

Regulus quit fiddling with his tie to look up at him, "That's what this is about? You're going in thinking they've already made up their mind about you?"

"It's Fleamont Fucking Potter! How could he not?"

A long sigh left Regulus' mouth as he stood up to get ready for bed. "You look the Dark Lord in the eyes every meeting, and you're scared of the Potters? J…Just talk to your girlfriend. I'm not qualified enough for this shit."

Barty didn't get much sleep that night.

…

"Stop messing with your jacket. You look fine." Y/N reprimanded as she fixed his jacket.

Barty's eyes were wide as saucers and his breath was shallow.

Y/N thought it was kind of cute.

"Is there… is there anything I need to know?" He asked quickly.

"Anything… what?" She asked confused.

"Any weird rules around the house? Any traditions? Anything I could do wrong?"

Y/N's eyes looked at him like he had two heads, "No."

"I mean that seriously, love. Any topics off the table? Does someone have a wonky eye I shouldn't stare at? You have to give me somethi-"

"Barty!" She laughed out. Her hands rested on his chest. "Take a deep breath. My parents will love you, alright?"

Regulus had a point. How could he look at Voldemort and feel nothing, yet two middle aged parents had him running for the hills?

"Are you ready?" She asked.

He nodded as he took a handful of floo powder. "I'm ready."

As he threw the powder down, the two disappeared in flames.

Their bodies appeared in the fireplace of the Potter Manor.

James was seated on the large sectional, and his heads snapped up at the sight. He smiled, "There you are. I was worried you two were too busy snogging to join us."

She took a deep breath and rolled her eyes, "Do you ever mind your own business?"

He shrugged, "No, not really."

"Where's mum and dad?"

He pointed his head over towards the kitchen.

Y/N grabbed Barty's hand and pulled him to the kitchen.

As they rounded the corner, Barty finally saw the faces with traits his beloved girlfriend had inherited.

And wow, was it now obvious to him how well the two Potter siblings resembled their parents.

"Mum. Dad."

The two fully turned and their faces lit up. Euphemia grinned and quickly walked to her, "Oh, hi, sweetheart!"

Barty wasn't used to such excitement when your own kids walks into a room.

Euphemia embraced Y/N tightly before pulling away to look at Barty.

Fleamont had leaned against the counter happily watching the exchange before his eyes too, found the boy.

Y/N turned, "This is Barty. Um… Mr. Crouch's son."

Fleamont's eyebrows raised at the mention of Crouch.

Barty felt like he could puke.

Here it comes.

"Oh. I see. Lovely to meet you, Barty."

Barty was so lost in his own mind that he barely registered the outstretched hand of Fleamont Potter. He blinked and reached out to shake it. "The… The pleasure is mine, sir."

Fleamont let out a small laugh, "Please. Just Fleamont is fine. I hate formalities."

Y/N turned to Barty, "That's where James gets it from, if you couldn't tell."

This actually made Barty let out a small chuckle.

Euphemia found her place next to Fleamont. "Our girl has said so much about you. I feel like we know you already."

That's weird, Barty thought. I don't feel scolded at all, yet.

Perhaps it would happen later.

…

Barty pulled out the chair for Y/N, who let out a small thank you, before he found his place next to her.

Though the table was large, he didn't feel intimidated as he sat there.

It was a nice change.

Fleamont sat at the head with Euphemia at the foot. Barty and Y/N sat together on one side, and James on the other.

Fleamont broke the silence, "Where's Sirius?"

James shrugged, "Washroom, I think."

Y/N's head shot up, "I didn't know Siri was here."

Fleamont grinned, "Oh yeah. You said the boys are coming over later, didn't you?"

James' grin matched his father's, "After supper, yes. We wouldn't miss watching the Quidditch Cup for anything."

Y/N sighed at turned to Barty, "It's just them yelling for four hours. Except poor Remus."

"Hey, Remus is fine." James butted in. "We feed him. He's not mistreated."

Y/N smirked, "Sure. That's what he tells you."

James cocked his head, "Oh really? And what? He tells you things?"

Y/N matched his energy, "Unlike you, he talks about his feelings."

Although there was bickering, no one raised their voice.

In fact, they seemed to be having fun.

Barty was slightly confused.

His eyes flicked back and forth, once moving to their parents.

The two rolled their eyes but held the widest grins on their faces.

They actually… could bicker for fun?

Sirius strutted in, "Sorry, Mum. Didn't mean to be late."

Euphemia smiled, "You're just fine, love."

Barty's eyes widened. Mum? He called her Mum?

His thoughts were interrupted by the continued argument.

"Remus doesn't have feelings!" James rebutted with a knowing grin.

"See? Now you just sound ridiculous!" Y/N laughed.

Sirius found his way in, "Hey! Remus is a ball of steel that lives off of sheer spite. Don't let him fool you!"

Y/N scoffed, "He's the most sensitive of all of yo-"

The two boys began to rebuttal at the same time, causing their voices to overlap.

"No, that's not true"

"Remus is heartless"

"You don't know him like we do"

"He's playing you for a fool"

Barty let out a small cough, and the entire table went quiet.

Sirius finally acknowledged his presence, "And why are you here, exactly?"

It wasn't rude. More, inquisitive.

But Barty took it the wrong way.

His head cocked to the side challengingly, "What am I doing here? What are you doing here? What? Was James allowed to bring his boyfriend, too?"

His eyes grew wide and his mouth closed as soon as the last syllable was uttered, like he didn't know who said that.

He ruined everything.

How could he ever show his face around her family again?

As he began to spiral, Sirius' mouth slowly formed a grin.

And he laughed.

The entire table broke out into a fit of giggles.

Even Euphemia covered her mouth to hold back.

James laughed until he thought he would fall out of his chair.

Fleamont's laugh came out in a boom, much like James'. 

And Barty sat there in confusion.

He just couldn't comprehend what was happening.

Sirius wiped the tears that had fallen in his laughter and sighed, "I'll fucking give that one to you, Crouch. Merlin, you're much funnier than I thought."

And cursing was allowed?

There really were rules Y/N should have told him.

…

After dinner, the family was gathered around the muggle TV James had begged them to buy. Of course, it was enchanted to play the quidditch games.

Fleamont and Euphemia had their respective chairs.

All four marauders took up half of the large sectional and Barty and Y/N spread out on the other half.

Well, Y/N had.

Barty was uncomfortably stiff in his seat, but Y/N had taken the liberty to rest her head on his lap, and lay out on the rest of the couch.

And no one had thought twice about it.

Eventually, her legs grew tired and she sat up, "I'm going to fetch a drink. Need anything, Barty?"

He looked away from the TV to her, "No. No, thank you."

She nodded, brushing her hand across his shoulders when she passed by.

She had left him alone with them.

What does he do? What does he say?

He's in the Potter Manor with all four of the marauders and the Potters. By. Him. Self.

He let out a sigh.

"Everything alright, son?" Fleamont asked.

Barty's head snapped to him. Son?

Did he just say Son?

Oh, fuck. He said Son.

He just stared.

James reached over and elbowed him.

Barty snapped out of it. "Hmm?"

"He asked if you are alright, mate?"

"Oh. Oh. I'm just fine. Long day, is all."

Fleamont nodded with an understanding smile and turned back to the TV.

Barty was too lost in his thoughts to hear them cheering at the next goal.

…

Y/N smiled widely as she sat on her bed, "Well, I'd say that went fairly well."

"I don't want to do it anymore."

Her face fell, "What? Do what?"

Barty's mind was racing as he stood barely out of the doorway. "I can't do it."

She tilted her head, "Barty. Talk to me. What?"

His eyes were staring out of the window across her bedroom, "I don't want to be a death eater anymore."

Her eyebrows raised, "Oh." She wasn't sure what to do in that moment. She wouldn't push him. It was his decision, but she was too curious for her own good. "Can I know why?"

"Your father likes me."

She nodded in confusion, "He does."

"That's why."

"You… You don't want to be a death eater because my father likes you?"

He nodded as if it was obvious.

"Okay. Um… a follow up on that?"

Barty broke from his trance to sit on the bed next to her. "My… my father isn't like that. I'm always underachieving in his mind. But… I feel like I couldn't disappoint your father."

She shrugs, "It would be pretty hard to."

Barty's jaw clenches in thought, "If we ended up even close to as happy as your parents, I'd be the luckiest man in the world."

Now it was her turn to be lost in thought. "Really?"

He nodded. "Your parents love each other. And they love you. And James. And even James' friends for some reason. I want that."

She smiled and ran a hand through his hair, "Then we'll have it."

He smiled too and gently kissed her.

She pulled away with a laugh, "Regulus is going to be upset."

He pulled her closer with a grin, "Ah, he'll be fine."

Their lips connected again.

…

"Going so soon?" Fleamont asked.

"Oh, yes. He has to be up early tomorrow, dad." Y/N said with a smile as she walked Barty to the fireplace.

Fleamont nodded and walked to them, "I'm glad you could come over, son. I hope I get to see you around more."

Barty smiled widely, "yes, sir- uh… yeah. I believe you will."

Her father's smiles widened, "Great." And he disappeared into the kitchen.

Y/N had to practically push Barty into the fireplace cause he was so lost in thought. She placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'll see you Thursday?"

He nodded, "Of course."

She grinned and stood on her tiptoes to place a light kiss to his lips. "I'll wait until then."

He smiled, "Goodnight, love."

James' head peered around the corner with a teasing grin and a dramatic tone, "Goodnight, darling. My one true love! I wait in agony until I see your face again-"

He was interrupted by Remus' hand yanking him back into the kitchen.

Y/N let out a sigh. "You'll get used to that one day."

Barty smiled, "I hope I do."

…........................................................

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 2

lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader

series masterlist | prev part | next part

mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 206,311 others

mclaren always wanted to see the paddock in its full glory? go behind the scenes with todays special guest, @/yourusername, as she swaps one paddock for another to see a little of what happens on a race day!

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user3 HELLOOOOO WHAT.

user7 WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS

user9 lando needs to stay focused :/

user1 stfu

alex_albon @/yourusername this is betrayal i’m disowning u

yourusername noooo dad pls. i’ll come to williams next💙

user7 y/n calling alex and lily mom & dad… she’s just like us for real

landonorris 🧡

liked by yourusername

y/nupdates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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y/nupdates y/n today after the race!!! she was seen leaving with teammates lando norris and oscar piastri, and oscar’s girlfriend lily! thank you @/mclaren for taking care of our girl today🧡

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user4 prettiest baby in existence she is GLOWING

user6 can’t believe she’s an f1 fan this feels unreal

mclaren it was our honour🧡

meanwhile, in texts ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 128,119 others

yourusername back from my adventures into training. qualifications coming up which means extra work for this little (big) man🫣

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user3 BEANIE BOYYYY🥹

user8 you got this y/n/n!!!!

flo_norris_showjumping best of luck for qualifying, let me know how it goes🩷

user2 carlos in the likes again i’m TELLING YOU lando is talking abt y/n to the grid boys

landonorris he’s kind of cute ig

yourusername DOES THIS MEAN YOU’LL MEET HIM

landonorris @/yourusername literally where did i say this

user4 petition for lando to meet mr. bean

f1updates just posted a status ੈ✩‧₊˚

f1updates asked about his growing friendship with showjumper y/n y/l/n, lando said today that the two are ‘just becoming friends’ and ‘don’t have much time to see each other’ now y/n is back in her home county. but sources close to the two say they’ve been facetiming most nights👀

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user10 everyone leave them alone and let them have their private lives challenge

user11 good! lando should be staying focused on getting good face results. he can’t afford this right now.

user9 thank you! i’ve been saying this for ages!

user3 jobless ppl in the comments he’s a grown man and they’re just friends anyway

landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 226,382 others

landonorris p2 quali in home race, and some great company. what could be better🧡

👤 tagged yourusername, oscarpiastri

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user7 WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING TOO BUSY TO HANG OUT MR. NORRIS?!

carlossainz55 well done brother❤️

user3 CARLANDO🥹🥹🥹

user1 y’all weren’t apart for very long i see👀

user5 OSCAR IS SO CUTEEE😭

yourusername 🧡 can’t wait to watch tomorrow

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user6 SHES GOING TO THE RACE????

williamsracing just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by alex_albon, yourusername and 52,118 others

williamsracing just call us mr steal your girl👀 @/mclaren

👤tagged yourusername, lilymhe, zoe_albon

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user5 AHAHHA IM HERE FOR MCLAREN VS WILLIAMS

user1 admin i love u so bad rn😭

mclaren @/yourusername how could you?!

yourusername a rock and a hard place…

alex_albon the BETTER team

user4 y/n, lily and zoe all together🥹🥹🥹

landonorris …

user7 OH HES SNDJSJSJS

user9 you deserve better lando!

user1 @/user9 once again, stfu

yourusername answer my text douchebag

yourusername added to their story ੈ✩‧₊˚

y/nupdates posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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y/nupdates sending all the luck to @/yourusername and mr. bean today as they compete in the final qualification around for paris 2024!🩷

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user2 good luck y/n🥹🫶

user5 eeee today is the day!!!!!

user12 came for lando, stayed for y/n. good luck hon!

yourusername thank you guys🥹🩷 hope i can make you proud

a/n: i realise this wasn’t v interesting but… attempting a slow ish burn bc i love pining

taglist for the next updates can be found here!

- giselle xx

[sixeyescurseuser]

Thinking about figure skater Gojo who tirelessly trains to qualify and compete at the next Olympic Games.

Gojo is such a legend in the skating world, very well known for his jaw-dropping, difficult performances, handsome looks, and charming personality! He was built for the spotlight.

Naturally, he has many global fans, fan accounts, and ordinary people who follow his career.

People who meet Gojo in-person after having only seen him on tv are shocked at how tall he is, yet manages to skate so well. All those triple and quad axels? And the amount of grace and power he skates with is insane considering his build. 

Once, an interviewer asks Gojo what other skaters he admires? Gojo talks about a few current big names, then sneaks in a mention of, “Oh, Suguru is also in my list , hehe.”

The interviewer chuckles alongside him, yet can’t help but ask, “Suguru…who?”

Later, Geto Suguru nearly spits out his water while watching the interview posted on Youtube. He doesn’t hesitate to text his boyfriend.

Geto: “Why do you keep bringing me up? I literally just skated in high school 😭”

Gojo sends back an old video of Geto’s skating routine from a regional competition: ❤️❤️

Geto: “WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE THIS?”

Gojo: “heyyy >:(“

Gojo: “It makes me happy 🥰 I loved watching you”

***

Growing up, Gojo and Geto skated at the same club.  But while Gojo continued skating as his professional career after, Geto dropped skating in order to focus on his academics in college.

Gojo often reminisces on the long practices they had where they would watch each other run through their routines and give each other feedback, when they would mess around and throw the craziest combinations just for shits and giggles.

He didn’t realize their time together on the rink would be so short in the long run, but they began dating when they were only sixteen, and have been going strong together since.

Gojo is still lucky to have Suguru to come home to after his long days at the rink.  

After college, Geto went on to become a marine biologist, where he does a lot of work in ocean wildlife conservation. He’s either on a boat collecting data for research or in the lab analyzing his sample results. 

Gojo is not only busy training in Japan, but he also frequently travels to train in different countries. Gojo receives lots of updates from Suguru in the form of selfies and blurry photos with ocean wildlife or results from the lab.

Suguru in the lab with his ppe (personal protection equipment). Suguru wearing his wet suit while investigating algae farms. Suguru smiling while holding a crab.  

Gojo makes the last one his lock screen. Suguru just looks so cute with his hair pulled back, and when Gojo holds his finger down on the live photo, he can hear Suguru’s voice talking in baby to the crab.

(Geto’s wallpaper is a selfie of them when they were teens.)

Geto gets super excited telling Gojo about his new findings, taking the time to explain different facts and technical terms. Gojo eagerly nods along on the phone and asks questions, commenting, “No way! The algae increased nearly double the amount with your XXX solution? That’s amazing!”

***

Gojo loves what he does, but it’s always a relief to come back home and find his comfort place in Suguru’s arms. 

Nothing beats taking a shower and raiding Suguru’s closet after, cooking dinner with his boyfriend, and then cuddles on the couch.

The first thing they see when they turn on the tv is a sports reporter announcing Gojo Satoru's third national championship title, and what it means for the road to the Olympics.

“Oh wow, this guy is on a roll. He should train for the Olympics or something,” Geto says.

Gojo simply buries face in Suguru’s neck and snickers: “Or something.”

***

Once, while getting ready to sleep one night, Gojo whispers in Geto’s: “Remember that one time you ripped your pants during the Junior Grand Prix?”

Geto doesn’t react at first.

Then, without warning, he tries to smother his boyfriend with his pillow.

***

One of the best memories is when Geto surprised Gojo by showing up in-person to one of the abroad competitions. 

In the middle of his post-win interview, still in his competition suit, makeup dewey and hair fluffy, Gojo suddenly spots a familiar face behind one of the paparazzi. 

Gojo is literally mid-answer when he locks in and SPRINTS to get his boyfriend in his arms.

“Suguru!!” Gojo shouts. He’s already leaping and oh, Suguru’s arms readily catch him. 

Geto laughs with his whole chest, squeezing tightly around Gojo’s middle.

“Hello, darling.”

Gojo has to finish the interview but he’s so bubbly now because teehee Suguru is right there and watching proudly. 

Gojo needs him in his bed immediately.

After the interview, Geto explains he got his lab assistants to cover their project for the next week so he could fly out and visit Gojo in Australia!

Gojo happily drags Geto back to his hotel room,  giggling and babbling about the plans they could have for the next week. The couple excitedly discuss outings to art and performance events, to the beach, even the zoo - which Geto is ecstatic for. 

Upon entering the hotel room, Geto quickly drops his luggage off in the corner. Gojo is still yapping when Geto suddenly walks him backwards to the bed. 

The back of Gojo’s knees hit the edge and he falls back with an “oof!”

Geto smoothly crawls on top to lay his whole body weight on his boyfriend’s. 

Gojo chuckles. He combs through Suguru’s hair and continues his talking, knowing Suguru is tired from traveling and this will help them both relax.

Gojo gradually runs out of things to say, and the soft breaths against his neck tell him yep, he unfortunately needs to poke his boyfriend awake so they can both shower and freshen up before bed.

Gojo pats Geto’s lower back. “Suguru, wakey wakey.”

No response.

Pat pat on the lower back again, then smoothing his hands up to pat the upper-back.

“Babyyy, wake up. We need to shower. And eat.”

Geto offers a protesting grunt, then nuzzles against Gojo’s neck.

This leaves Gojo no choice.

He sneaks a hand down to pinch Geto’s ass.

“Ouch- hey what the fuck?”

Gojo yelps when he feels Suguru pinch his nipple in retaliation, then rolls off Gojo’s body to head toward the bathroom.

Five minutes later, the couple shower together while casually recapping the results of the skating event.

“Any feedback for me today?” Gojo asks. Geto hums, more focused on massaging the shampoo into Gojo’s hair. He applies the perfect amount of pressure that makes Gojo moan in appreciation.

“The only feedback I have is that you look amazing out there, Satoru. All the hard work you put into training clearly pays off. I am so so proud of you,” Geto says, dropping a kiss to Gojo’s nape.

Gojo preens, and completely surrenders himself to his boyfriend's tender touches.

[leclvrc]

life lately ♡ cl x reader

summary: of wag charles and the slowest of launches

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, f1wags and 18.331 others

yourusername won an award today but the real prize sat opposite me all evening <3 (he forced me to write this)

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f1wags 👁👄👁 who is the he in question and why is it charles

pierregasly 🔥

liked by yourusername

honeybadger omg she liked Pierre's comment 👁

yourbestie so that's the reason u ditched me early??

yourusername girl why are you so loud

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yourusername

liked by yourbestie, charles_leclerc and 34.289 others

yourusername life lately 💞

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yourbestie we need a girls night soon!!

liked by yourusername

charleswdcagenda it's the way charles likes the posts but doesn't post shit himself for me

honeybadger you're so real 😭

f1stannie so people are piecing it together via a few likes and... a silhouette without a face 💀

alpinewcc and i thought i was delulu 🤣

carlo55ainz you guys are so annoying clogging her comments

fashionandfood that pizza and the wine EXCUSE ME that is peak romance

fashionandfood and her fit 🔥🔥🔥

charleslechair the implications of the pizza and candles and wine and the silhouette.. I'm feeling so single

scuderiaferrari

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, yourusername and 189.298 others

scuderiaferrari who's ready for another season to start 🔥

view all 22.923 comments

carlossainz55 vamos! 👊🏼

tifosi55 I'm so excited PLEASE tell me you built a rocketship for our boys

liked by scuderiaferrari

fe44rri I've never been less ready for something in my life

yourusername let's see if your drivers live up to the hype 😉

charleslechair hello? 👀

alpinewcc imagine the scenes if she dated carlos all along 😂

honeybadger BRING. IT. ON.

scuderiaferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, arthurleclerc and 281.389 others

scuderiaferrari and the first qualifying session of the season comes to an end! charles snatches pole position ahead of carlos in p3. tomorrow will be an exciting one 👊🏼🔥

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charleswdcagenda bro knows he can comment and make posts right...

honeybadger i don't think he does 😭

tifosi55 YES, let's go boys!!!!! get that w!!

fe44rri mercedes was so fast today I'm nervous

yourusername starting to think they ARE worth the hype 🤕

yourbestie I thought you have an online meeting rn? 😤

yourusername wifi sucks in these trailers 😒

honeybadger HELLO TRAILERS DO U MEAN MOTORHOMES?

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 83.928 others

yourusername heard there's a race around here somewhere?

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scuderiaferrari happy to have you with us this weekend! 👊🏼

charleslechair not the blurry ass charles pic where he looks like a gremlin 😭 she's his gf alright

fe44rri she did him so dirty but,,, I'm here for it

honeybadger imagine thinking she's serious and keeping him off socials bc of her job and then she turns around and posts him wearing a my gf is hotter than you shirt QUEEN

georgegussell no you don't understand... I'm OBSESSED

yourusername i aim to please 💞

honeybadger HOLY SHIT????

fe44rri so she's smart hot funny works and supports him... unfortunately have to join the stannies and say that i love them

charles_leclerc 💞

liked by yourusername

honeybadger omg so he can work his socials after all!

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and 398.189 others

charles_leclerc to quote a wise woman... life lately 💞 @.yourusername

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honeybadger IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE STAY CALM

yourusername cute and gives credit where credit is due? maybe you are a keeper after all 😌

liked by charles_leclerc

charleslechair this is calling me single 2819 ways

pierregasly finally calamar 😂

charles_leclerc some of us want to enjoy time alone with their girlfriend

yourusername we spent 2 months holed up in my flat baby

georgegussell BABY?? CHARLES' PETNAME IS BABY???

pierregasly you don't want to know, trust me

scuderiaferrari we must have missed the part where you went jetskiiing 😁

fe44rri it's so vile how hot people just find each other and fall in love

charleslechair everybody clap he remembered his insta password

tifosi55 @ god when is it my turn

[thesassypadawan]

Not A Date *part 1* (Hayden x FemReader)

Summary: You never thought you would get an opportunity like this! Not only are you doing your internship on the set of Revenge of the Sith, but you also get to work one-on-one with Hayden. Who you can’t tell if he’s just being nice or if it’s something a little more than that. Hope you lovelies also enjoy part 2!

Warnings: None, just pure fluff.

Notes: A little something for @jediskywalkerblog!  I really enjoyed writing this, made me feel all warm and giggly!  Hope you like it!

- “Good morning, angel,” Hayden smiles at you in the mirror.

- “Good morning to you too, Hay,” you giggle, grinning back at him.

- You never thought you would get an opportunity quite like this! Not only are you doing your internship with an actual movie makeup artist! But the set you’re working on just so happens to be for the newest Star Wars film, Revenge of the Sith! One of your absolute favorite movie franchises!

- Storing your bag under the counter, you notice two to-go cups of coffee sitting there. Taking one for yourself, you hand him the other. Humming an appreciative, “Thank you.” Then proceeding to snatch his hat and placing it on your own head. “You won’t be needing this.”

- The best part about all of this though, was meeting and working with him.

- “Anytime, always happy to make you smile,” he replies all cutely, accepting his own cup. “And keep it, it looks good on you.”

- You can feel your face grow warm and you pull the brim down a bit.

- From day one he’s been like this with you. Bringing your favorite drink in the morning, so ‘you can start your day out right’. Taking all his lunch breaks with you, because ‘food tastes better when you have good company’. Waiting for you to be done for the day, even if he finished hours before, so you two could ‘just hangout’.

- He’s so sweet and kind to you. Everything he does is amazing. You want to believe he has a thing for you, but that little voice inside your head keeps telling you… There’s no way a guy like him would want a plain, boring girl like you.

- Clearing his throat, your snapped out of you thoughts. “So we’re still on for watching the cup game tonight, right?”

- Yet another wonderful thing about Hay, he loves hockey as much as you. The minute he found out; he insisted you watch every playoff game with him. Despite your team not qualifying and his losing in the conference semifinals…you two still have a great time.

- Before you can even think of what to say, the words come spilling out of your mouth. “Heck yeah! It’s a date!”

- You don’t know how, but you somehow turn even redder. And your heart, it just about explodes when you notice the faintest dusting of pink on his cheeks. “Yeah, it’s a date.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- You try your best to focus on your work, but your mind keeps wandering. ‘A date?! With him?! Nope, no way! There is no way in hell this is a date! No way, NO WAY!’

- You hurry to gather up your things, including your new hat. Which you quickly pop on, before practically running out the door. Reminding yourself over and over that this wasn’t a…

- There was Hayden, waiting like always. Wearing a huge smile, with a single red rose in hand. “Ready for our date, angel?”

- Swallowing the lump in your throat, you shyly accept the flower. Always so good to you. Maybe, just maybe. “Sure, but I have to ask you something first.”

- Gathering your courage, you place a hand on his chest and gaze up into those deep, blue eyes. “This…what is this exactly? What am I to you?”

- He cups your cheek, rubbing it gently with his thumb. All the while wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you in close. “You’re as much mine as I am yours.”

- “That’s all I need to know,” you whisper. Standing on your tip toes, you boldly press your lips against his.

- Hay’s lips are plump and oh so soft. Sweet with a hint of a smokey flavor. And, as crazy as it sounds, you could swear that you feel sparks fly between you two.

- Parting for air, he rests his forehead against yours. “Been waiting to do that for a while,” he chuckles.

- “Yeah, same here,” you giggle.

- You never thought you would get an opportunity quite like this! Not only are you doing your internship with an actual movie makeup artist! But you’re also getting to work with your boyfriend!

- Taking his hand into yours, you give a small tug. “Come on, you big dork, we’re missing the game.”

- Nodding, he happily follows along. “All right, little dork, let’s go. By the way, care to make a bet for the game?”

- “What did you have in mind?”

[vidavalor]

Hello! 👋 Just dropping in for a visit to my favourite online pub: your blog *chews on all your posts and slurps down your analyses*

I love the way you spell out the Ineffable Husband SpeakTM for us, and I was wondering what you think about Crowley’s “You don’t dance.” in 2.06, when Aziraphale asked to dance with him?

Crowley is mumbling a bit here & I wasn’t sure at first if he said “you” or “we” or something else, so I checked the subtitles as well. That aside, we know by this point that Aziraphale has done at least 3 I-Was-Wrong dances, so I wonder if Crowley is referring to something else?

Hi, @procrastiel! How's it going, love? Wouldn't say I spell anything out-- I just give my opinion-- but I appreciate the compliment! 💕Crowley's line is definitely "you don't dance" and ohh, yeah, I can deep dive on my opinion on what it means to dance. Deepest of dives-- this went everywhere. 😂 Mother of all metas for the mother of all Good Omens questions... We're having sandwiches-the-food tonight in honor of where your question crosses into God's tongue-in-cheek monologue on how many angels can get down on the heads of those Mrs. Sandwich seamstressing tools-- pins.

This is going to take a route through some heavy analysis of the argument over Gabriel and The Apology Dance and a few other things to get the root of your question, so, grab a beverage of choice before diving in. TW: Brief mentions of Satan's attacks on Crowley.

*rubs hands together and cues up the disco music* 😂

What does it mean to dance?

When we talk about dancing, there are roughly four different meanings of the word to look at with relation to Good Omens' story.

One meaning is the first one that comes to mind for most people, which is a physical dance-- as in, moving your body, usually to music.

The music, if it exists, can be in your head, a song you're singing aloud, or one that is playing in the room-- it doesn't matter. If you're moving, any and all of it would qualify as dancing. By this measure? Crowley canonically had seen Aziraphale dance before Aziraphale asked him to dance during The Meeting Ball because, well...

...here is Aziraphale dancing in front of Crowley in the bookshop in 1941:

Crowley's shock in 2.06 cannot be coming from never having seen Aziraphale dance at all, right? They've known each other for thousands of years and if Aziraphale was doing this fucking adorable little shuffle of excitement in the bookshop in 1941 then it's not really a stretch to assume that these two-- who canonically listen to records together in the evenings sometimes-- have danced together before.

In 1941, we see that Aziraphale liking to dance is not something he's actually hiding from Crowley because he's doing this cute little dance in front of him without a second thought. This is also interesting because one theory was that Crowley has no idea about Aziraphale liking to dance at all because he didn't appear to know about Aziraphale learning the gavotte. S2 turns that on its head a bit by saying that Crowley might not yet know about the gavotte-- we don't really know yet either way-- but he definitely does know that Aziraphale likes to dance and he was unsurprised to see him doing so in 1941.

The key thing here is that when they have danced together or in front of one another before? It was likely only in the privacy of the bookshop or another place like it. It was just the two of them.

When Crowley says "you don't dance" to Aziraphale, he's not meaning that Aziraphale doesn't dance at all. He's meaning something more expansive, as we'll look at with the other meanings of dancing below.

The second meaning is a verbal dance. These are interactions between more than one person in which the back-and-forth of what is being spoken has the give-and-take quality of a dance.

There can be different types of verbal dancing. Crowley and Aziraphale's word-nerdy flirting is a kind of verbal dance. It's a birdsong mating dance, especially since they are so hot for words. Being able to verbally entice and keep up with a partner makes flirting-- especially their kind of it-- a kind of dance and it's one they've been doing for thousands of years and both enjoy.

Another type of verbal dance between long-time partners is one that could be dubbed, as Crowley and Aziraphale call it, an "I Was Wrong" dance. This is an apology between partners who had an argument but want to get beyond it. No matter what you think the nature of Crowley & Aziraphale's relationship is, they've known each other for thousands of years and are de facto partnership married at this point so they have An Apology Routine TM. People who have been together a long time and who have the occasional spat often tend to fall into a rhythm with their apologies, knowing what needs to be said to just get to the other side of it, which they'd like to do as soon as possible because they miss each other and don't like being in conflict with one another.

When Aziraphale says he wants "a proper apology... with the little dance" as Crowley tries to get away with not doing the verbal dance that he knows he's going to end up doing lol, what Aziraphale means is that he wants the back-and-forth verbal dance they do as an apology. He doesn't want to just ignore what happened because he was really pissed and he's telling Crowley that he'd appreciate an actual apology and a bit of groveling before he's willing to let it go and move on.

The "little dance" in question isn't a physical dance-- it's basically the same apology dance we saw Crowley do back in S1 here:

When Crowley claimed he doesn't "do the dance" in S2, they both knew that wasn't true and so did we, really, because *points to the above gif* there's Crowley doing the dance in the middle of the street in S1. Claiming he doesn't "do the dance" is sometimes part of the dance if Crowley is the one apologizing as, unless Hell is actively, in that moment, trying to kill him-- like they were in S1-- he gets squirmy about apologies, even if he always eventually says them.

The reason why Crowley does the physical dance that he does during The Apology Dance is actually off of Aziraphale being just as dryly self-deprecating about the two of them and their relationship as Crowley winds up showing he is with The Apology Dance. It's rooted in Aziraphale's use of the word proper.

That word falls into the category in their speak of words like wily, thwart, smitten, demon, fiend, etc.. that have wildly contrasting meanings where they can be said on one level to mean one thing that is acceptable to an audience of angels, demons, or humans, but that also, on another level and within Crowley and Aziraphale's speak, has a funnier, more sexualized meaning.

Proper has an understood meaning of being something that is correct, acceptable, and appropriate. It means decent and respectable. It has a connotation that suggests that something deemed proper falls within the generally-accepted social rules of a society.

Within that word, though? Is the word prop.

I probably do not need to further define that but one sense of the word prop is that it is a theatrical term to describe an object being used in a play. From this, it also come to mean an object being used in sexual play. The humor for Crowley and Aziraphale comes from the fact that proper is a word related to what is considered acceptable in society while bedroom activities involving props have historically been considered "deviant" by those same societies.

The word exists in the sexual meaning in several other scenes in Good Omens. Such as:

Aziraphale in 1941 flirting with Crowley in the magic shop by using the silver rings magic trick as an innuendo-laden stand-in for handcuffs and going on about having a "gift for prop"... and in 2019, when Crowley joked that Aziraphale did not need to do his literal magic act because: "You can do proper magic. You can make things disappear."

Words containing the word thin relate to Crowley and disappear/appear are words with a root meaning of to come into view-- heavy emphasis on the to come part. Crowley sounds like he's talking about Aziraphale's supernatural magic abilities (and he likely also is lol) but he's wording it in such a way as to be really referring to Aziraphale's other skills as a true magician in bed.

Aziraphale, hilariously, teasing Crowley back by joking that making him come is not as fun as pulling a coin out of his ear 😂:

This is also the joke around Aziraphale doing things like popping into view from around corners or doorways or, in my favorite, from the other side of The Bentley in S2, as well as things like Crowley apparating into a space to see Aziraphale. They're magical so they can apparate-- literally appear and disappear from view-- and would do so to meet up with one another at times, as we've seen. It's a visual joke on appear/disappear and the verb to come.

There is also the hilarious "only I can properly thwart the wiles of the demon Crowley" from the deleted 1800 bookshop opening scene-- a sentence made up basically entirely of words with double meaning that make them sound like Aziraphale is saying to Gabriel and Sandalphon that he's the only one who can correctly stop Crowley's evil demonicness when he's also, with the same words, trying to alert Crowley, who has just arrived in the doorway, to the fact that the angels are here to recall him by saying a sentence that is like: but you can't take me back to Heaven! I'm the only one who has the first clue how to shag Crowley right.

So, in S2, Aziraphale is being a bit arch when he says he wants "a proper apology." They both know that he means it in terms of saying he wants a genuine, decent apology and nothing more than that. His dryness in choice and delivery of the word proper is Aziraphale being tongue-in-cheek with Crowley and aligning their history of well-balanced, healthy, sexual power dynamics with the fact that their argument was, at the core, a lot about aspects of trust and control that they *both* struggle with outside of their proper bedroom, where things are very different.

The argument was really a perfect storm of triggering both of their traumas and they both, technically, were right and wrong about things. Aziraphale's apology dance is, essentially, the whole 'our car/our bookshop' that becomes the rest of the season. The reason why it's Crowley doing The Apology Dance, though, is actually less about the subject matter of their argument and more about which one of them fucked up when it came to the stuff the argument shows us that they're working on together.

The argument over Gabriel actually shows us the extent to which they're a couple, in that they've clearly talked about working on things they do which trigger each other's trauma and are trying to be better at it. They're proactively working at trying to get better at arguing, which is the most married thing in creation. This is also indicative of both of them trying to manage different traumas and PTSD that they have and doing the best they can do while still not yet able to fully escape the root causes of those difficulties. That is something which any therapist will tell you is nearly impossible to do but they are both trying anyway and doing a pretty good job of it actually, all things considered. Where can we see this in the argument over Gabriel?

It is in that they each both do something when upset that is a trigger for the other's trauma and has, in the past, caused their discussions to implode, and how they both handle that with one another during this argument. When Aziraphale gets upset and anxious, his anger can take the form of saying words he doesn't mean-- words that are often completely and utterly absurd from an objective standpoint. Think of the bandstand argument, for instance, and Aziraphale's ludicrous attempt to say that he and Crowley aren't friends and-- the best one lol-- that he doesn't even like Crowley.

The audience and Crowley alike know this is bullshit and so does Aziraphale but it's the product of Heaven being a place of emotional repression and Aziraphale's perfectionism, which makes him feel like he's not supposed to ever actually feel the depression and anxiety and anger that he does. When upset, this bubbles up in him and explodes and the results are words he doesn't mean that make him feel terrible, further contribute to his pattern of negative self-thoughts, and hurt Crowley.

In S2, we might also notice, Aziraphale phrases his go-to of telling Crowley it's over as a defense mechanism as saying that Crowley is "at liberty to go", which has an implication that a certain amount of staying was occurring. While Crowley isn't living in the shop to the extent that he's there in the mornings because they're still trying not to get caught, this plus things like "we both get plenty of use out of it [the bookshop], don't we?" indicate that Aziraphale never really notices that Crowley no longer has his flat because Crowley just kind of lives in the bookshop now. He's there every day, to a point that Aziraphale defaulting to his usual anger response of breaking up with Crowley when upset is now phrased in such a way as to try to kick him out of the house. Crowley, though, knows better-- just like how Aziraphale knows better where Crowley's own issues are concerned.

Even though Crowley knows Aziraphale doesn't mean what he says when he's upset and is patient about it (the not even batting an eyelash "you doooo" in response to "I don't even like you" in the bandstand argument), it still hurts. So, that's what Aziraphale is trying to work on and we see that Crowley is working on it with him, an example of that being when Aziraphale is starting to lose it during the Gabriel argument and Crowley's response to it:

Crowley is basically saying honey, you're doing the thing-- and it works. This is what they've agreed upon as a way that Crowley can help Aziraphale when he's upset. He points out that Aziraphale is doing the thing he does, which seems to be something they've agreed on as a strategy for communicating better. He gives Aziraphale room to take a breath and say what he really means. Expressing how he really feels when the emotions are not positive ones is hard for Aziraphale because it involves admitting that he has these emotions in the first place.

So, Aziraphale does his part in their agreement and he rephrases what he was saying into what he actually means: that he would love for Crowley to help him with Gabriel but that if he won't, he won't. He is open about how he feels, which is Aziraphale doing what they agreed to do, and is a world of difference from how they were fighting before. He also expresses it in an especially positive way, as he uses words like 'love' and 'help' to say how he feels and what he needs.

This is why it's Crowley who winds up doing The Apology Dance.

What Crowley does in an argument that triggers Aziraphale is to leave. While, technically, sometimes leaving for a breath is not a terrible strategy in an argument, Crowley's tendency to leave is a flight-or-fight PTSD response that stems from a lack of trust in anyone but himself (and, honestly, often not even himself) to keep him safe. It's honestly not how he really feels about Aziraphale, whom he actually does trust with himself, but he sometimes lets fear and anxiety overwhelm him when triggered by situations in a way that relates to his past traumatic experiences.

Just as Aziraphale's struggle with his more volatile emotions is understandable considering what he's been through, so is Crowley's tendency to panic and bolt. The problem is that, just as Aziraphale's angry words can hurt Crowley, even if he understands where they come from and knows Aziraphale doesn't mean them, Crowley's tendency to leave hurts Aziraphale because it feels to him that Crowley doesn't trust him to make decisions that would keep Crowley safe.

They both are aware that their knee-jerk reactions of running away or sniping in anger are trauma responses and not terribly logical but they're both working on trying to heal enough to not have those responses with one another. In S2, they're stuck trying to manage all of that while still living in an environment that is dangerous for them and in which Armageddon could be around the corner again at any moment-- making it obviously harder to deal with things and also making the fact that they are both doing reasonably well with it all the more impressive and an indicator of how good they are for one another.

(It also makes the end of S2-- a series of miscommunications, some of which are not even their fault, that led to epic fucking disaster-- even more devastating because it doesn't actually reflect the healthy relationship that the beginning of the season emphasizes exists.)

Compounding these issues and part of why they're trying to work on them is that both of them trigger each other's PTSD when they react like this.

Aziraphale's words in anger and his tendency to push Crowley away leave Crowley feeling less secure around the one person who otherwise is the safest person he's ever met while Crowley's tendency to bolt in a panic, instead of staying and working through things, triggers Aziraphale's fear of abandonment (both in general and with Crowley) and, even more so, his terror over losing Crowley.

He's never sure when Crowley goes out the door if he's ever coming back because it's not really safe for him out there and S2 illustrates that Aziraphale has real trauma dating back to the time Crowley was taken in front of him in 1827, shown in him going to the spot in Edinburgh in the present where he lost Crowley and needing to call him from it to hear his voice. And, well, also to get a bonus praise kinky little boost from his partner for a job well done on working on his trauma stuff:

So, long story short, the argument they have over what to do about Gabriel's arrival really illustrates the extent to which they're both trying to manage a great deal of trauma together and, to help one another to do so, they have put some strategies into place for trying to do that more effectively. Aziraphale kept to his end of the bargain in this argument. He used more productive and open words to express how he was feeling. Crowley, though, did not hold up his end of the bargain here. He did when it came to helping Aziraphale with Aziraphale's part of it but he didn't when it came to managing his own trauma.

To be fair to Crowley? This situation was basically the exact perfect storm of a trigger for his PTSD and neither he nor Aziraphale are really going to be able to get much of anywhere significant with healing until all of this Heaven & Hell stuff is over in S3. So, that he fucked this up here is both sympathetic and not terribly surprising. It's also the root of him then spending the season reassuring Aziraphale that he's coming back and part of why he goes out the door in the end of 2.06 but he stays by the car. But, when it comes to just this argument over Gabriel in 2.01, it was Crowley who didn't try and that made Aziraphale upset.

This is where, though, that The Apology Dance shows that they're actually pretty healthy about arguing overall. Just the mention of this having existing for ages is establishing that trying to be better at disagreeing and having this little routine for getting back to a good place and starting to talk more after they've argued is not just something that has existed post-S1 but has been going on for, at minimum, hundreds of years, if not a whole lot longer. In essence, The Apology Dance exists as a bridge back to a place where they are less reactive and can talk through what's upsetting them-- which a lot of evidence suggests they are actually very good at doing with one another.

So, when Aziraphale tells Crowley that he wants "a proper apology", he's already injecting some humor into the moment, even if he is serious about not letting Crowley just skip over genuinely saying he is sorry. He is upset but he also loves Crowley and he's aware that the situation was pretty much the ultimate trigger for Crowley. It's just difficult for Aziraphale to watch because he wants Crowley to feel safe enough to heal more from a lot of this and feels like that he can't fully provide that, even if he is doing everything in his power to help Crowley with it. In a way, it's a foreshadowing how Aziraphale is going to fall in the end of S2 over the temptation of power that he thinks might help Crowley be safe.

The reason why Aziraphale chooses to use the word proper in saying he wants an apology-- and in that particularly dry tone-- is because he is very, very pissed that Crowley walked out the door rather than trusted him to have not put him into danger with Gabriel and to help him manage the situation. He's pointing out that Crowley trusts him implicitly in so many other ways, with the use of the wordplay there being a reference to the fact that he and Crowley have a healthy balance of power and an enormous amount of trust in their relationship overall, for which Aziraphale is using their positive sexual power dynamics as an example.

As different scenes have illustrated, when they mess around with those dynamics, they switch off allowing one another a sense of control over the other, even if the overall dynamics of such situations are never as cut-and-dry as that. The point is that Aziraphale's use of proper here is a direct reference to the fact that Crowley went out the door in a panic-stricken fit earlier but they both know that Crowley does trust Aziraphale to a great degree, and a great example of that to Aziraphale is the fact that Crowley-- as eleven hundred scenes in the show suggest lol-- is very into letting Aziraphale restrain him in bed. The reason why we even know this is because of how the show uses aspects of their sexuality to illustrate the level of trust and intimacy in their relationship.

Just as the wall slam scene in S1 exists to make it abundantly clear how much Aziraphale trusts Crowley and how he has nothing to fear from him by contrasting that with Aziraphale's response to being jumped by the angels in the street, the scenes that are referring to them using restraints, while illustrating that they both do, are centered around Crowley's thing for it, in particular, to help illustrate that he has the same kind of trust in and feeling of safety with Aziraphale that Aziraphale does with him.

The reason why Crowley liking to be tied up or handcuffed is given weight enough that it's a recurring thing mentioned in the story is because of how it's a different level of trust for him than it might be for someone else. While the wall slam scene contrasts Aziraphale's safety with Crowley versus the abuse of the angels, the handcuff thing is showing that Crowley, who is a survivor of attacks that render him unable to move or otherwise assert any control over himself and who has demonstrable PTSD from it, trusts Aziraphale enough and feels safe with him enough to explore with him the complexities of being a survivor of attacks involving a loss of control who also finds sometimes being restrained and giving up some control in bed arousing.

So, Aziraphale's "proper apology" is dryly mocking both of their control and trust issues by use of an example of a place in their relationship where they handle those issues without conflict, and that's in the great communication and ease of care for one another in bed. With use of proper, Aziraphale is subtly pointing out that Crowley is an assault survivor who trusts Aziraphale to him tie him up but he runs out of other situations in a panic, which is an example of the lack of logic that can occur in the face of trauma sometimes. It helps to prove how ridiculous they both are really being in general.

Which Crowley agrees with. Because he knows he was. Trauma isn't logical, it's knee-jerk emotional, and he felt bad about storming out and even worse when he found out from Beez what the repercussions of not helping might be so he's come back, heard the 'proper' comment, and is like fine, yes, you're right. We're ridiculous. I was ridiculous.

This is healthy as all fuck:

It matches the humor Aziraphale put in around his genuine anger with additional humor. It's self-deprecating and ego-free, just an admittance of having messed up and showing he's sorry by being a little ridiculous because how he reacted earlier, he knows, was also a little ridiculous. There's the hearing of proper and responding to that with a mock-submissive, self-deprecating, little dance and a bow and scrape. There's a dry, affectionate mocking of the two of them and their long history of apology conversations that all boil down to the lyrics of the little song Crowley makes up here: "You were right, you were right, I was wrong, and you were right."

The tongue-in-cheek vibe of Yes, you're correct. Are you satisfied now, my king? that pokes gentle fun at both of them and that actually winds up illustrating just how much trust and love there is between them as a result.

Aziraphale finding it hilarious to a point that he's working hard not to laugh long enough to respond with equal humor with the little soft dom-ish "very nice" and then miming a kiss at Crowley showing that they are actually good at this. They allow each other to be imperfect, know how to talk openly about how that makes them feel, and can recover from an argument with humor and affection.

This is also a good example of Crowley being supportive of Aziraphale expressing emotions and of Aziraphale trusting Crowley as someone safe to do that around. Aziraphale told Crowley exactly how he felt and what he needed here in a clear way that expressed his anger and frustration without descension into anything harmful and Crowley listened, acknowledged those emotions, and responded in a way that was supportive and positive.

The argument over Gabriel and The Apology Dance is what their relationship is really like when they can speak openly and directly to one another because they have the safety and privacy to do so. They actually do know how to talk to one another and they do it very well. Their present situation as of the end of S2 is more of a nightmare of unfortunate events and misunderstandings and it actually took a lot to get it to go that wrong because, normally, as we can see? It's relatively easy for them to get it right.

So, Crowley's Apology Dance was both verbal and a literal dance, yes, but Aziraphale's bemused response to it indicates he wasn't expecting the literal dance and the fact that Crowley made up and did the literal dance off of Aziraphale's use of proper, as we looked at, indicates that it was something he did for the first time in that moment, rather than how The Apology Dance usually goes.

The usual nature of Crowley and Aziraphale's "I Was Wrong" Dance is strictly verbal.

We can tell this by one of the years in which Aziraphale mentions that he did an "I Was Wrong" dance in the past: 1793.

When Aziraphale shows that he's really hurt by Crowley leaving and needs him to apologize, he lists three, prior times when it was Aziraphale who had fucked something up between them and was the one doing The Apology Dance as a result. The three years he uses as shorthand are 1650, 1793 and 1941. While we don't know anything about 1650 right now... and while we know about 1941 but not how it ends so maybe not yet quite enough to say we know why Aziraphale was doing an apology dance (though I would argue that maybe 1941 itself is a bit of a joint apology dance)... the one year here we do know enough about to use to inform our opinion about what their apology dances usually are is 1793.

What Aziraphale is apologizing for in 1793 is the rescue scenario winding up a bit of a disaster because of Aziraphale neglecting to take into account that if Jean-Claude The Executioner was having that much fun cutting people's heads off, he probably was disturbing in other ways as well. While Crowley covers up his reaction to apparating into the room just as Aziraphale is saying "no" and Jean-Claude is trying to get his clothes off, by the end of the scene, we see that Crowley is more bothered than he was letting on.

Jean-Claude becomes the only human in the entire series to date that we ever see Crowley intentionally push straight towards Hell and, in doing so, he renders Jean-Claude unable to form more than muted sounds of protest-- not at all projecting his own experiences of assault onto him or anything. Crowley makes the very dark joke that's in the above gif, savagely mocking a so-common-it's-cliche victim-blaming response to rape, making it clear in doing so what's been brought up for him as a result of what he saw when he first came into the room. Crowley is half out of it for the last moments of the scene and, at one point, sniffs like he's trying not to cry. Aziraphale had meant for it to be a fun, dashing-hero-to-the-rescue type of thing but the torture-happy prison cell atop the trauma trigger is what would make Aziraphale feel the need to apologize afterwards, even though Crowley knew he didn't intend any harm.

So, ask yourself this: did Aziraphale apologize for that by doing a silly dance?

I really don't think he did...

It wouldn't have been appropriate. The last thing Aziraphale would have done then is make light of how they both were feeling about something relating to this kind of trauma. It's not to say there wasn't any humor involved-- particularly, their form of really dark gallows humor-- but not in the midst of the genuine, actual apology. Aziraphale's "I Was Wrong" dance in 1793 was a back-and-forth of him verbally apologizing and Crowley insisting that it was fine and then Aziraphale, more or less, you were right and I was wrong-ing with other words until they both were okay to talk more and move forward.

Both of them were alright as a result and clearly had a memorable time in Paris afterwards, as Aziraphale is referencing it as a good example of the two of them working through things together in a positive way when he tells Crowley that Paris, 1793 is what he "wants for lunch" in 2008.

It's really why Aziraphale says he wants 1793 in the first place, when they have a zillion other times he could have referenced. The scene in 2008 is taking place after Crowley went missing the night before on assignment for Hell. Aziraphale doesn't need to be told by this point that Crowley was hurt but they've been in public the entire time since they've met up so there has not yet been a moment to try to really acknowledge it. By bringing up Paris 1793 in response to Crowley saying he wants to lunch, Aziraphale is using it as a shorthand to convey both that he's aware and that they'll handle it, like they always do, and it will all be alright. Paris 1793 seems like it is a particularly memorable example of them managing that to them, so it's the one that Aziraphale brings up.

This also accounts for the discrepancy in Aziraphale's expressions in 2008 when he talks about this particular time. When he first mentions Paris 1793, his response is layered. There's regret mixed in there. Pain. Complicated emotions. His smile to Crowley is kind of flat, like he's trying to remain more upbeat than he actually feels.

It's very different from the cheer of we had crepes! that emerges after Crowley's response to the suggestion is positive. It speaks to Paris 1793 being more complex than only the fun, memorable romp in France that it also was.

So, this would mean that The Apology Dance is usually a verbal thing, even though Crowley did a literal dance along with it in S2. This actually is not terribly surprising because Crowley and Aziraphale's language is an exercise in the literal and the figurative.

Everything in it physically exists as well as figuratively exists and that's part of the fun of it for them. It all has to work on the surface level as well as on other levels. There are literal crepes and figurative crepes, for example, while we're on the 1793 topic. Literal fish-- sushi, gravlax in dill sauce, etc..-- and figurative fish, like the two of them. When Aziraphale asked for "the little dance" of light grovel with the apology, Crowley did that by also giving him a literal dance to go along with their traditionally verbal dance. Why? Because Aziraphale called their apology routine a figurative "little dance", so Crowley gave him a literal one to go with it. Eventually, all the figurative has to be at least a little literal in some way. It's why God made sure that an actual nightingale-the-bird was actually singing in Berkeley Square at the end of S1 as her last language lesson to us. There were then now literal angels dining at The Ritz so a literal nightingale sang in literal Berkeley Square.

The S2 Apology Dance is likely then the first Apology Dance that involved a physical dance. I'm not sure that there were others in the past but I think there definitely will be more going forward and that's a good thing since a bit of silliness is very healthy. 😊

Ok, so, back to the "you don't dance" moment... remember ten years ago when I said there were roughly four meanings of dance?

We've defined two of them already: a literal, physical dance and a verbal dance. The other two are the dance of society and dance as sexual euphemism. Historically, these weren't always mutually exclusive things and Good Omens overlaps them in some ways a bit as well.

The dance of society is being an open, active participant in your society. Even though Aziraphale basically built the society around him through being the founder of the street, we've seen how he tends to keep himself one step removed from life on Whickber Street.

It's best summed up by his relationship to The Whickber Street Shopkeepers & Traders Association: he is a member of it but, until S2, he's never hosted the monthly meeting. He doesn't fully see himself as one of them because, as an angel, he's not supposed to want any of this human living stuff, even if he desperately does. He has imposter syndrome for days, feeling like he's always about to be exposed as not really one of them.

Aziraphale does enjoy himself at times. He does engage with the world around him. He just doesn't allow himself to belong to it and his reasons for doing so are not only about his angel feelings.

The human world hasn't always been a place where he fit, either.

It's only been very recently in history-- and Aziraphale has seen literally *all* of history-- when it has been comparatively safe enough for people like him and Crowley to live more openly. It's still not completely safe, obviously and unfortunately, but there is more general acceptance now, more acknowledged human rights and more laws to help secure those rights.

The things that Crowley was hoping were around the corner in 1967-- when England decriminalized homosexual sex between men over the age of 21 and he suggested that maybe he and Aziraphale could go for broke and try being less of a secret-- actually are here by the present of the story in both S1 and S2.

A lot of that is at the root of the humor in S2 as Gabriel's presence in the shop forces Crowley and Aziraphale out onto Whickber Street in the daylight for the first time and creates scenarios in which the shopkeepers-- chiefly, Nina-- are throwing them off by being more comfortable with having their relationship be acknowledged publicly than they are. Part of the joke is that they're still closeted in London Soho in the year 2023 and the humans cannot understand why because Crowley and Aziraphale can't tell them that it's their supernatural world causing them to remain a secret.

It is only relatively recently in human history that people at formal social gatherings like the ones in England that Aziraphale has been to for years danced with anybody they felt like, regardless of relationship or lack thereof to that person. For many years, while someone might stand up with the occasional maiden aunt out of politeness or whatever, most of the time, a request for a slot on a dance card was a declaration of romantic intent. It was done within the public eye and, while matchmaking was often economical more than romantic, it was at the heart of how society functioned.

To dance, in that sense, was to be a part of society.

Aziraphale was never a part of society in that way. Not just because he's an angel who is supposed to remain above the human fray but because he is queer and society, for a long time, was not built to openly accept him. He was on the fringes of it for both supernatural and human reasons. From what we've seen, literal, physical dancing has always been something of a metaphor for this struggle for Aziraphale.

When Crowley says that Aziraphale doesn't dance-- and it's really more, as we've seen, that Aziraphale doesn't dance in public-- what he means it that Aziraphale keeps himself back from being a fully engaged part of the group, out of a fear that it's not for him because both the supernatural and the human worlds have been teaching him for a long time that it is not.

To host a meeting of the local business association and have everyone to his house for a party... to have Gabriel and Maggie under the same roof... to have everyone knowing that Crowley is his partner... to be able to openly dance with Crowley in front of others like the couple that they are, in the same way that the Chengs and Mutt and his spouse are?

That is to dance.

That is Aziraphale trying for a life he's never had before.

It is this form of dancing-- the dance of society-- that Crowley has never seen Aziraphale do before and why he is so in shock when Aziraphale asks him to dance.

This is where we have to talk about what this has to do with the gavotte, the photo from 1941, Mrs. Sandwich, Duns Scotus, and disco... 🪩Yes, I know. Lots to chat about. 😊

Back in S1, as Crowley traps Hastur in his answering machine, we are treated to one of the best parts of God's narration: Her cheeky take on the human philosophical debate around the question:

"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?"

The phrase comes from Protestant theologians in the 17th century who were mocking Catholic scholastics like Thomas Aquinas and Duns Scotus-- whose name is quite literally the origin of the word dunce, so overt was the mocking of these dudes' ideas. The show via Crowley also is referring to Duns Scotus in Demon's Guide to Angelic Beings when Crowley mocks the demons by spelling 'residence' as 'residunce' in Aziraphale's entry, joking with him about the fact that the demons will not be able to understand what the entries really contain. So, why the mocking of Duns Scotus and pals?

While it's not totally know if they ever did debate this question exactly, questions very much like it were debated in their circle and others in different parts of the world and these philosophers would get a bit in the weeds in the wrong direction with things. This isn't to say there is a right or a wrong way to think so much as to say the way they chose to approach questions like this was full of absurd focus on the least consequential things someone could look at and failing to really think about how considering these questions at all could impact their understanding of the world around them and contribute to making that world better.

They were not asking questions like: do angels exist in the first place? If they do, do they dance? If so, what makes them want to dance? What would it say about angels and living-- and us and living-- if angels did dance? Why the fuck would they want to dance on the head of a pin when they could dance anywhere? 😂 What does it say about us and our views on angels and ourselves that we're spending a great deal of time and resources debating questions about beings that we cannot even prove fucking exist in the first place?

Instead of considering anything like that, Duns Scotus and pals would spend time just working on the most arcane details of angelic and demonic existences-- on things like trying to figure out if angels could exist in more than one place at once or how small they could get and how they would get that small and how many of them could fit on the proverbial head of a pin and still dance on there?

You know... real, relevant, thought-provoking, big picture questions that we've all asked ourselves at one time or another. 😂

Those mocking questions like this made the question "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" a kind of catch-all for pointless debate and it has since become a shorthand phrase meaning basically a bullshit question of no relevance, the debate over which is a colossal fucking waste of time.

Some scholars went so far as to blame those engaging in this type of debate as being responsible for the fall of Constantinople, saying that basically these scholars were sitting around listening to themselves talk on absurd things of no importance to such an extent that it caused mass death and collapsed an empire.

It might be of note then that this question is so notoriously tied to the fall of Constantinople that Good Omens might be winking at the fact that angels dancing around a seamstress might be a prelude to Aziraphale's fall, which some of us think is what's happening at the end of S2.

So, when Hastur and Crowley go into Crowley's answering machine, God jumps in with a little wink to this question in an effort to prevent anyone from focusing on the single most non-important question in all of Good Omens:

How did they get into the answering machine?

The answer to that is that it doesn't matter. They're magical-- that's the answer.

It's not to say that there is not a ton of small detail in Good Omens worth exploring-- and other scenes encourage doing just that, like Shakespeare's "in your role as the audience, could you give us something more to work with?-- but the details worth looking at are ones that will underscore what the story is saying in a bigger picture, thematic sort of way.

God's point here is that if you're hung up on the Magical Technical Whateverness that is stuff like how the angels and demons travel, you're being a bit of a Duns Scotus and trying to solve a mystery that the show has zero intention of ever making be relevant to anything and doesn't really consider much of a mystery in the first place. You can sit there until you're blue in the face doing calculations and looking up scientific explanations and it just simply does not matter. You're barking up the wrong tree because the thing you're talking about has no significant relevance to the story.

"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" is basically the olden days, scholarly equivalent of rolling your eyes at half the comments in an online discussion for any sci-fi show that has ever existed. My friend and I call this kind of debate 'Photon Torpedo Jerk-Off' and what I mean by that is this: if you watch an episode of, say, Star Trek, and you think the most important thing to talk about that happened in the episode you just watched is whether or not these writers were accurate about the range of the photon torpedoes when they had the Enterprise blow up that Klingon warship, then you have missed the point of the episode entirely. If you're sitting around arguing about the sci-fi magical Whatever Tech and not talking about the story you've watched, you don't understand the point of what you've watched.

In Good Omens, the reason why God's monologue about how many angels can dance on the head a pin begins when it does is because it is a very sly joke on Duns Scotus-like debate, using the fact that the questions that were absurd to consider in real life are actually-- hilariously-- among the most pertinent to consider where Good Omens is concerned.

God brings up the pin-dancing question as a way to answer the question of what's happening with Crowley and Hastur going through the answering machine. She amusingly doesn't really answer the question and, instead, starts going on about the parts of "how many angel can dance on the head of a pin?" that should have been the bits being debated-- like whether or not angels dance at all and what if means that they do. Basically, Good Omens' response to how the answering machine bit works is "something something electrons" and they're proud of it and they should be because it doesn't fucking matter, which is why God's monologue in the answering machine sequence is really all about the bigger questions of the show and not the Duns Scotus-y question of "but how are they traveling through the telephone system exactly?" God simply just says that they are and moves onto more relevant things.

Even though the original debate over questions like "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" was theological and philosophical, the thoughts behind the absurdity of it very much apply to interpreting works of art. Because of its ties to religion and to angels, it makes for a very humorous way of telling the Good Omens audience that they will not really be explaining much of anything regarding to the technical whatzits of how angels and demons travel through electricity and things like that because that could not be less relevant to understanding the story.

The question "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?", at one point, also had several variants. One was the same question but wondering how many demons could dance on the head of a pin, while others involved whether or not angels were "sexless"-- a question that was so confusing at the time that several sub-variants emerged as a result because people weren't entirely sure what that question meant...

Was the question asking if angels had a biological sex-- and, if so, was it asking if they had sex organs? Was it asking if the angels had a form of gender which, at the time and with these theologians, was mostly a question of whether or not angels could be what humans would have called male or female, with gender binary ideas of what that would mean intact? Many others thought a question of whether or not angels were sexless might be more directly about whether or not angels had sex.

(Amusingly, that question didn't really ever get asked about demons, as the sexuality around demonic lore has always been pretty notorious.)

The problem with these questions being asked by theologians is that they never took the opportunity to reflect on what it might say about humans and our societies that we thought these the most pertinent questions to answer about angels and demons. They never stopped and thought about the fact that to ask these questions meant they were not sure that this supernatural world that they believed in had the same sort of structure when it came to things like gender, sex and sexuality that humans do and how that is where the more interesting thoughts exist. Just by asking those questions, you could start to follow a path that maybe suggested that they were different from humans and it might be better if humans emulated some of those ideas, right?

But that's definitely not where these guys took this...

When scholastics would approach questions like this, they'd do so to make the concepts of angels and demons fit more securely into the worldview they were promoting. The very conservative would usually say that angels were genderless and also usually "above" sex and things like this reinforced their holiness. The demons could usually fuck because they were evil and nephilim and the like made for the usual brand of good, scary, weirdly sexual Bible stuff. The ones that did think that angels did gender thought angels thought about it in the same very rigidly binary and traditional ways of most societies.

In other words? Theologians took the mythical creatures of angels and demons and made their theories about them fit human societies to further their own, human goals, instead of using angels and demons to reflect upon those human societies and consider how different viewpoints might improve them.

Good Omens is completely sending up this mindset.

In Good Omens, the supernatural characters are a way of poking fun at these kind of humans who approach ideas about what angels and demons might be like with such rigidity and treat their fellow humans in the same way. The angels and demons are basically all queer in human terms by default because, in Heaven/Hell, gender is a constellation, biological sex is a 'do whatever you want with that, if anything at all', and, just like with the humans, asexuality and sexuality and everything along every possible spectrum related to it all exist. For the most part, human prejudice does not exist-- though prejudice itself does, in the form of the "other"-izing of the demons. Some of that human prejudice has slipped through-- see: Sandalphon-- but it's not as ubiquitous as it is on Earth.

The angels and demons in Good Omens come from a world where everyone is sort of assumed straight-out-of-the-box non-binary by default and queerness is more normalized because when your concept of gender begins without rigid ideas about what that is, damn near everyone winds up being what humans would refer to as queer because that umbrella is then basically anyone other than a cisgendered, heterosexual person... and what is a cisgendered, heterosexual person when gender is design-your-own-concept-of-this from the get-go? How would anyone be heterosexual, when the definition of that is rooted in binary views on gender that do not exist in the supernatural world of Good Omens?

The point of all of it is that if humans thought this way about one another more, the world would be a better place. Good Omens is a story about angels and demons that is using them to ask questions about humanity of a lot more value than "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" but, ironically? Some questions that come about as a result of considering that question in a different way-- as God helps us to do with her monologue-- like the question of whether or not angels dance and consideration of what that might mean-- are examples of some of best questions to ask to get to the heart of what Good Omens is saying and what it's story is all about.

In Good Omens, neither the supernatural world nor the human world are perfect. The supernatural characters seek to learn how to really live from the humans but the humans have a thing or two to learn about themselves that the supernatural beings-- with their choose-your-own-adventure ideas relating to gender, in particular-- could show them when it comes to true freedom.

If we made like the supernatural world of Good Omens and placed less focus on defining and labeling gender and sexuality in such strict terms and just looked at everyone else as fellow people and let people present themselves as they like and identify as they like and be attracted to who they're attracted to and love who they love, we'd just be seeing each other all as people-- which is what we all are.

It's also the point of the intentional vagueness of Gabriel's whole situation during his naked arrival in 2.01.

There is a fuckton happening in this scene but one of the biggest is the decision to make it unclear as to what was behind the box-- and that's the point. Are there a couple of hints here and there? Sure. You can make arguments in different directions and, for sure, the decision to make it vague, instead of including a suggestion that Gabriel's for sure Don Drapering it in that moment is a whole decision in and of itself. The point, though, is not to fixate on determining what, if any, situation Gabriel was rocking during his rather challenging Monday morning in S2 but to just ask yourself why it would matter to know?

There's nothing wrong with some idle curiosity, I don't think, but the ambiguity is the point. What would it matter if Gabriel was running in angelic neutral or sporting, as I think the scene is suggesting, some lady parts for the morning? It doesn't change anything about Gabriel because only humans would look at Gabriel and assume that he has a penis and find it shocking if he didn't because many of us are that limited in thought. Only humans would box (bad, unintentional pun lol) him into pronouns as a result and try to tell him that he can't use he/him if he sometimes doesn't have that penis.

All these humans are looking at his body and judging it-- who gives them the right?

Whatever you feel about Gabriel, you do feel for him in that moment because no one deserves to have their body judged by a zillion critical strangers... and isn't that what many of us are doing online? Isn't that what a lot of humans do about everything from gender to sexuality to weight and looks? We categorize and label and put all of these parameters on meeting the standards of those categories when none of it matters and everyone is unique and beautiful in their own ways.

The genius of the supernatural characters in Good Omens is that, in so many ways, they are not free and a lot of their issues overlap with those of the humans but in real, fundamental ways, they have default mindsets that humanity could really benefit from adopting. The Gabriel arrival scene underlines it by turning the camera back around on us by showing us an example of a very masculine person by traditional human standards, implying that his genitalia might differ from what we've been conditioned to expect from a person with his looks, and then making us consider how we feel about that and if maybe the whole idea of these kind of expectations isn't bullshit in the first place.

So... while Good Omens is sending up the limited mindset of the Duns Scotuses of the world, the joke with God's monologue is that, in the context of Good Omens itself?

From the standpoint of this story?

The related questions about angels and dancing and gender and sex that arise from asking the question: "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" are excellent questions.

They happen to be questions that, if you're asking them, you're getting into many of the themes of the story and you're looking at how the story is using angels and demons to talk about the experience of human living. What does matter in understanding the story of Good Omens is, ironically, the dumbass questions that these humans were asking back in the day about dancing angels and demons and their relationships to human ideas about gender, sex and sexuality at which Good Omens is poking more than a little fun.

To add to this, we also have the very funny way in which God presents the answers to these questions to us and that involves a wink towards the last type of dancing-- dancing as sexual euphemism.

In the original question of "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?", the reason why it's a pin is obviously that pins are very, very small but it was sometimes referred to as well as a question of how many angels could dance on the head of a needle? This was because the detractors of this school of thought were creating puns, so they could call the debate of the question things like a "needless point" in their writings-- very Good Omens-y humorous of them. 😊 We're also now bringing into to conversation via needles and pins language related to the make and repair of clothes-- seamstress work-- as being tied to questions of sex and dancing as sexually euphemistic.

The visuals shown to us during God's monologue include Crowley and Aziraphale dancing separately, in different eras, with other beings-- Aziraphale with some humans and Crowley with some demons-- but with an undertone of sex in both scenes that gets at dancing as sexual euphemism. In Crowley's scene in the 1970s/very early 1980s, he and Hastur and Ligur are in some trippy disco sequence in which they are dancing with a pin but the pin is being used as different kinds of sexual dance-related poles.

This is a visual parallel of the innuendo around seamstress-related language in the series, with a pin-- a tool used by those who make and mend clothes-- being used as a pole, highlighting a (hilariously-presented) aspect of sexuality in dance. Mrs. Sandwich runs a bordello but the coded 19th century-era speech of Aziraphale's magic during The Meeting Ball results in her attempting to describe the sex work menu of her girls as being coded in the language of those who make and mend clothes. This comes from sex workers writing on government forms the 19th century that they were seamstresses to evade authorities (why Mrs. Sandwich says her girls stand on their own two feet "like the government said") and a use of seamstress language as euphemistic for sex that overlapped into coded slang of, in particular, homosexual men.

In one part of the disco sequence, Hastur, Ligur and Crowley are going around the pin like it's a maypole, which were involved in courtship rituals and fertility dances. In another moment, the three of them then turn the pin into a stripper pole and bust out some exotic dancing moves, all less using the pin/pole as prop in a seduction of someone else but more seemingly in place of that someone else, with exactly zero awareness of one another.

What the living fuck is this scene, really? 😂 Is the pin really large? Are they very small? Why can I still not stop laughing at the fact that they aren't dancing on the *head* of a pin but with it? Is Hastur trying to make out with the pole? Did Ligur really invent part of The Macarena decades ahead of its time? What perspective is this scene supposed to be shot from? lol Are we all just assumed high at this point from the disco lights and general trippiness of the sequence? Are any of these the most important questions of this sequence? Not by a long shot lol...

*tilts head* hiiiii Crowley...

What's that? Oh, sorry, right, finishing up the epic journey that is this meta... Yes, yes, sorry. Got distracted by the dancing snake... Which reminds me!

We can't talk about dancing as sexual euphemism without mentioning that the little glimpse into Crowley's bedroom in S1 that we see shows us that he has a wooden figurine of a dancing snake on a table in the corner, which seems like a wink towards Crowley and Aziraphale joking about being like the magician or musician who would play music to "charm" snakes into dancing for them. Crowley kept the dancing snake figurine in his bedroom so that is probably the ultimate in dancing as a sexual euphemism possible and it's another indicator that it's hardly the idea of dancing together being a form of sexual overture that has Crowley so confused when he says "you don't dance" in S2. Dancing, in that sense, is not new to them.

So, God's monologue is winking pretty heavily at dance-as-sexual-euphemism. In showing the dancing this way, God is using dancing to mean both literal dancing (as in, when she describes that Aziraphale is the only angel who dances-as-in-moves-to-music because he learned the gavotte) and also as an answer to the question of whether or not some of the angels and demons have sex. While not all of them do or have interest in doing so-- just like with the humans-- having Crowley and Aziraphale both exhibit a sense of sexuality in the dancing scenes here is more than a little suggestive of the fact that they both do.

So, how does that fit into our whole idea of dancing as it relates to a being a part of society?

Both Crowley and Aziraphale are shown dancing in different situations in different eras in which queer people existing on the fringes of society found a place in which they could express themselves-- but they are very different ways of expression.

Aziraphale learns to dance in a private club for wealthy, gay gentlemen and that is the only place in which he dances because he can do so freely there without too much concern that it will have repercussions for him in both his supernatural and his human worlds. Everyone there in the club is someone who also has a sense of secrecy and a need for discretion in common and they're all well-connected enough to ensure that their privacy remains intact. It's through basically finding a safe space in this club that Aziraphale can have a microcosm of what it would be like to exist more openly in the larger society as a whole.

Crowley, on the other hand?

While Crowley also lived through all of these eras alongside Aziraphale and had the same types of social limitations, we see him dancing openly in the liberation of the disco era. Disco changed everything. It was full of people who had never fit into society and gave voice to, in particular, more female, Black and queer people than ever before. The eventual backlash to disco had nothing to do with the music and everything to do with the changing attitudes about race, gender, sexual orientation, and sex itself at the heart of it.

The difference here is that disco was free to a point that you could dance with anybody. You and your friends could dance, you could dance with someone you wanted to hook up with, you could dance around to it in your house with your family. It didn't matter. While people had long since abandoned the formal rules of dance in mainstream society that existed in the eras of Jane Austen, by the time disco turned up, popular dance had freed itself to being just about self-expression and having fun. It was still sexy but it was no longer playing a formal role in the matchmaking process of people in society. It's about having fun and doing so in the open and much more free.

This is where we're going to look at what your question has to do with the gavotte and Aziraphale's cotillion ball in S2...

The gavotte scene in S1 is one of the most fascinating scenes in the series because nothing else like it exists in terms of how it is filmed. The scene of Aziraphale dancing the gavotte is filmed in such a way as to suggest we are actually watching a video of him doing so. Part of this comes from the lighting, the slightly jumpy 'old time movie' feel of the scene. But, it also comes from the fact that Aziraphale looks directly into the camera at several moments during the scene, in such a way that it makes it feel like he's not looking at *us* in a fourth-wall-breaking sort of way but that he's looking at a camera that exists within The Hundred Guineas Club and is filming them dancing.

This was likely possible at the time, especially in a club patronized by wealthy men. The Lumiere brothers patented the first movie-making cameras in 1895 so it could be argued that Aziraphale and friends are being filmed using a prototype of that technology. (A bit of film-related technology being a bit too early for the time by our human history standards is also shown on Good Omens in S2, when Furfur has a Polaroid camera just under a decade or so too soon, though some prototypes were in development not long after the time Furfur was shown with one.)

The point is that Aziraphale looks like he's letting himself be recorded dancing. Actually, the point is that Aziraphale looks like he is loving letting himself be recorded dancing and that's an enormous thing...

Think back to 1941 for a moment. Crowley and Aziraphale were nearly killed over the picture Furfur took of the two of them together. No audio/visual evidence of the two of them together exists. If they kept the picture, they've hidden it really, really well because they've been terrified of anyone finding them out. Does this recording of Aziraphale still exist, though? Does he have it? Was he going to show Crowley, maybe after everyone left The Meeting Ball?

Living-- existing-- can mean having a record of that existence. That's actually at the heart of the meta I wrote recently about Aziraphale's excitement over getting the Shostakovich record being about having a recording of a performance with history to him and Crowley.

Being a part of the world can mean letting yourself be a documented part of it.

We are shown that, in the late 1880s, Aziraphale let himself be recorded on video dancing with some human friends... which is to say that Aziraphale let himself live.

He let himself find some kindred spirits, learn something new, be an active participant in a group, and enjoy himself. He let all of that be documented and his kind of manic, unbridled joy over all of it is the mark of how rare a thing this level of engagement is for him.

So, why did he?

Why this dance? What does this have to do with The Meeting Ball?

Notice the backdrop of this scene. Other than Aziraphale and the other gentleman and the walls, there is really only one thing of note in the scene and it is in focus for much of the scene: the chandelier.

The gavotte is both a specific kind of dance and a kind of umbrella term for French folk dances from the 16th-18th centuries and a separate, different dance in the 19th century. It was apparently popular in the court of King Louis XIV, whose reign is referred to several times in Good Omens. (Crowley's gauche imitation Louis XIV furniture in his flat in S1; he was king in the time mentioned by Aziraphale in the French scene in S2; his mistress being Madame du Pompadour, historically credited with originating the hairstyle worn by Crowley since prior to Earth's existence, etc....)

Gavotte comes from gavoto, which meant mountaineer's dance or the dance of the mountain people and which, in turn, came from gavot, which meant a boor and a glutton. A boor is a country person or a farmer but it comes from the Latin bovis, meaning a cow or an ox. Etymologically-speaking? Of course this is the dance Aziraphale learned because the gavotte is a French dance of the ox glutton who enjoys a good "mountain" climb.

(The theory that they wrote The Sound of Music lives on. 😂)

Aziraphale learned the gavotte, of all dances, because he knew that Crowley would find the two of them dancing together to this dance in particular very amusing. He learned this dance in the late 1880s, likely with the intent of maybe, someday, being able to dance it with Crowley, which is likely why he was he was annoyed when it went out of style.

Still, we could theorize that one of the reasons why he allowed himself to be filmed dancing it is to have a record of his efforts to learn it-- not just for Crowley but in general-- and that maybe the chandelier in the bookshop is the one from his long-since-closed gentleman's club. It all shows that Aziraphale has wanted to dance, openly and publicly, both in general and with Crowley, for a very long time.

One of the reasons why he likely miracled everyone into 19th century speak during The Meeting Ball and brought down the chandelier and old style dancing was so that he could finally do just that. It isn't so much that Aziraphale needs to stick to old-fashioned dancing in general as it is that he just wanted to have an experience like those of other humans during that time that he wasn't allowed then to have-- by the rules of the human world, not just because of the dangers from his supernatural world.

But it's 2023 in S2 now. Queer people have been able to get married in England for a decade and partnership rights have been around for even longer. Mutt and his spouse's relationship would have been illegal in nine different ways barely a breath ago but they can live openly now. Gabriel has left Heaven and moved into the guest room. Things feel like there's a chance of change everywhere and Aziraphale has just had it and can't take one more night of Crowley slipping out before dawn so this whole "Maggie and Nina" party?

Do you remember how Aziraphale phrased the idea to Crowley?

Cotillion balls aren't just any ball. While cotillion was a style of country dance kind of like the gavotte, a cotillion ball was a coming out ball for young ladies in society. In parts of the world, they still exist, sometimes called now debutante balls.

What's so endearing about Aziraphale fixating on this idea is that a) Maggie and Nina are both women, which is not a match that would have been sanctioned by a cotillion ball in Jane Austen's day, which makes it sweet that Aziraphale is, in a way, trying to give this traditionally romantic idea of love at a dance to a pair of women who would not have had it be an option for them, historically, which is something to which he can relate but also b) Aziraphale is just really semi-consciously using the idea of a party styled after a coming out ball for women in society as his thinly-veiled excuse to have a coming out party of a different kind, of sorts, for himself and Crowley.

Aziraphale isn't closeted in the sense that he's not actively trying to convince anyone that he's straight (good Frances, what a waste of effort that would be lol) but he'd like to be just like everyone else and not have to hide his partner. In the scene where Mrs. Cheng tells him that she and her husband will be at the party, for example, Aziraphale has this kind of wistful look for a moment. He wants that. He'd like to just be chatting with the neighbors and tell them that yes, definitely, he and his husband will be by later on. It's a season of things like Muriel literally opening the door to them hiding in a closet to talk privately and Crowley insisting in the street to Nina that Aziraphale is not his partner but then saying nothing to correct her when she refers to Aziraphale that way when they're in the bookshop. It's Mrs. Sandwich knowing Crowley in part because she sees him slip out the bookshop side door every night but Nina not knowing him in 2.01 because they're hiding the fact that they're a couple so morning coffee is never a thing until it is in S2. The Meeting Ball is Aziraphale taking steps towards them no longer hiding it by having people over when Crowley is there and letting everyone know or assume that Crowley is his partner.

The party is really for Crowley. Having everyone speak outside of time, the theatre curtains, Gabriel circling with trays of food (which was honestly so funny-- The Supreme Archangel walking around all "try an ox rib" to everyone), the vol-au-vents (etymologically linked to nightingales and some of them seemed like they might have been oyster vol-au-vents), etc.. He did it all to dance with Crowley and ask him to stay.

These two are fucking adorable. Look at this angel, I mean, seriously:

Aziraphale has been hitting that since ancient Rome and he's over here, nervous and giddy like he's at his first middle school dance, so fucking excited to ask that dashing ginger currently having an anxiety attack to dance. They have been basically married for millennia and Aziraphale is standing there like I'm going to ask him, I'm going to really do it, I'm going to hold his hand and dance with him in front of everybody and they're all going to know he's mine. We're going to be like everybody else-- just people on Earth.

It's so damn cute.

So, lastly, there's one thing we have to talk about when it comes to dancing and that's the fact that it is a form of self-expression. This is where Aziraphale and his perfectionism come into play a little.

God, in S1, said that not dancing is one of "the distinguishing" features of angels and that Aziraphale, through learning the gavotte, is the only angel who dances (at least, in terms of literally dancing.) This contrasts with the demons, who all dance, though many of them are not particularly good at it. This is the fundamental difference between angels and demons.

The demons are all demons because they were all willing to express themselves as individuals, which is what dancing fundamentally is. The reason why Aziraphale is the only angel who dances in S1 is because the other angels who know how to dance are all now demons.

Dancing means putting yourself out there a bit. You have to be willing to make some mistakes. You have to be willing to look potentially silly in front of other people and learn to not care as much about it. You have to take some chances. You have to engage with others if you want to dance with other people-- so, you have to participate in the world around you a bit. You have to try new things, like hearing new music and learning new ways to move. You have to be your own person, in the sense that you have to have music you like to move to and decide what you'll look like doing that. You have to let yourself take up some space and work hard at shutting off your damn brain enough to enjoy it.

In the 1941, Part 2 scene that we started this meta out with, we saw Aziraphale openly dancing a bit in front of Crowley, a sign of how comfortable he was and is with him. He doesn't have to be perfect around Crowley. Just as Crowley doesn't have to be perfect around him and is willing to look ridiculous to around him, as in the case of The Apology Dance. Being able to be silly and vulnerable is a sign of trust. When you can lean on people you trust and have that kind of intimacy with them, it can make you feel braver to take some risks in the world as a whole. If you let one person in enough and learn how to dance in one or more ways with just them, you'll eventually feel like you can dance free, no matter who is watching.

In the same scene, Aziraphale admits to his conflicts over going to Goldstone's and how he worries that maybe the things in life that he enjoys are "for professional conjurers only"-- for humans only-- with Crowley helping to quiet that imposter syndrome noise in Aziraphale's mind. Crowley's gentleness and the care in his response are examples of why he is who Aziraphale chooses as a partner and why it's with him that he's long-dreamed of having be his dancing partner when he finally is able to publicly dance alongside others at a ball.

Aziraphale is equally considerate in how he treats Crowley and is not put off by spending their first dance in public together essentially trying to calm what he thinks at first is just Crowley's usual level of anxiety talking, knowing Crowley well enough to know that, for all his talk about wanting to live a more open life together, he's as afraid as Aziraphale is. Crowley is dancing anyway. Aziraphale wants to so that's enough for Crowley to do so.

Aziraphale doesn't need some perfectly smooth first dance out together-- though they dance easily and very well together. It doesn't matter how long he's waited. He cares more about trying to reassure Crowley and ease his stress. They actually aren't as safe as Aziraphale believes them to be at this moment but it's the intent that's sweet. He knows this dance is as scary as it is lovely and, as always, it's important to him that Crowley feel safe.

You have to admit that you're a person to dance.

That's what the dancing is all about.

You have to admit that you have a life and to start to accept that you are allowed one. You have to accept yourself as part of a community to publicly dance with a group. You have to feel ready to host the monthly meeting of The Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association because to do so is to be a participating member in a community and to be a participating member in a community is to be a person living a life on Earth.

It's not surprising, then, that when Aziraphale gets to a point-- a very delicate point but a point, nonetheless-- of feeling like it might be time for him to claim that life for himself, doing so begins with the first night that he's ever been able to be at a party and, just like a zillion other people before him, ask his partner to dance.

[trialbywombaat]

'At First Flight' Sequel Preview

Just a little snippet of the sequel to my 'going to Australia to assist with bushfires' Bucktommy AU, because I've been having a lot of fun with it today:

There’s this new probie at work, Hazel, who is only nineteen, and apparently came out of the womb clutching an iPhone 17 or something in her tiny, grubby hands.  Hazel would say that Tommy is ‘down bad’ for Evan, and while Tommy would pretend not to know what that meant, he does, because he’s partial to the occasional Taylor Swift song on the painfully slow drive home from work. He also thinks he probably could have figured it out from context clues, but he’ll never know for sure. The point is, though, that he thinks Hazel might be right. As he stares down at his phone, trying to think of the right combination of words to type out, and hitting the backspace button more in twenty minutes than he’s probably hit it in his entire life, Tommy is forced to conclude that he is, indeed, down pretty bad for Evan.  Hazel also tells Tommy that he has ‘rizz’ (‘sometimes’, she says, apparently first needing to add that qualifier after he shot finger guns at her in response). ‘Rizz’, according to Urban Dictionary, is short for ‘charisma’, and so is presumably a good thing to have. So he tries desperately to channel some of that rizz as he types.  He hates trying to flirt over text messages. It’s why he’s sworn off of grindr, and even the more ‘serious’ alternatives, like hinge or okcupid. He’s always thought that you couldn’t form a proper connection over apps like that, and so he’s been determined to find ways of meeting people in real life, as hard and time-consuming as that can be.  The problem is, though, that now he’s gotten his real-life meet cute, and there’s a small, but not nonexistent, chance that this guy might actually like Tommy back. And if Tommy doesn’t reach out to him, there’s a good chance that it could all fizzle out before it ever gets a chance to begin.

[hauntedhotel]

Finally got around to a re-listen of TMA and with the benefit of hindsight Jon’s initial hostility towards Martin is so ridiculous! In the very first episode he says he doesn’t even count Martin as an assistant as he's "unlikely to contribute anything but delays" but based on what? They barely know each other at this point so is his entire vendetta against Martin - to the point where Jon idly wishes for him to get chopped up by Angela the jigsaw witch - just because of The Dog Incident?

There's no way Martin is so terrible at his job that Jon could have valid criticism of his work that early on, and Martin came down to the Archives from the library, he’s probably the only person down there with the vaguest idea of what archivists are supposed to be doing! He's been working at the institute for 10 years or so and no one other than their mind-reading, eldritch horror boss ever twigged that he wasn't qualified, so there's no way he wasn't at least capable.

And if Jon does already think he's useless, it's probably because he's acting as though he's still in research and Martin is actually doing something adjacent to archiving.

Martin gets the transfer and he's kind of nervous cause a new boss means someone else to potentially be scrutinising his CV but he figures - it's archiving, it's cataloguing and filing and documenting, it's not so different from what he’s been doing in the library for a decade, he can handle this. It's only when he meets Jonathan "wtf is an archivist?" Sims and hears "okay so Tim is sleeping with the lead police officer on this murder case and Sasha has already hacked the guys home and office computers, I need you to harass this witness to make sure they don't want to refute their statement" that he thinks he might be in over his head.

It really only gives you three possible options:

1. He really is determined to never get over The Dog Incident.

2. He actually recognises that Martin seems to know a fair bit about archiving and is so afraid that at least two, possibly three of his assistants might actually be better qualified for the job than him that he’s lashing out.

3. He took one look at Martin and thought, "I've got a jam-packed schedule of stapling priceless documents, bitching about statement-givers on tape and running away from the spiders in my office, I cannot afford to get distracted by that guy's cute face and big sad eyes" and immediately did everything possible to push him away.

[shiorimakibawrites]

Hi shiori, congratulations on your 300 followers dear! (again haha) 💗💗💗 I am requesting a warm and fuzzy feelings with our baby boy Mikey where he and reader take a walk in the rain and giggling as they're unable to stop kissing! 😇🤭💗💗💗

Thank you so much for making an exception for me for coming late to the party! 😅💗💗💗 Enjoy your day lovely! 💋💗💗💗

Thank you for submitting Yuna! I hope you enjoy this little story.

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff, cute dogs Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Reader Tags: @loves0phelia, @nowheredreamer, @beezusvreeland, @yarrystyleeza, @lulukings92

Sharing An Umbrella

Walks were part of your routine.

It was simply part of having a dog. Your Irish Setter, creatively named Red, needed daily walks. At least. But it was good exercise for you. Got you out of the house regularly, getting all that fresh air and sunshine that everyone was always raving about.

Sunshine didn’t seem to be in the cards. It had been overcast all day. Rain had been predicted but you hoped to have finished Red’s walk before it came. Luck was not on your side as it began to rain halfway to Michael’s place.

Despite the weather, Michael was still waiting to join you with his own dog. Foggy, a beautiful Golden Retriever, loved the rain and prancing around the forming puddles with tail-wagging excitement.

“Ello, pet,” Michael greeted you, falling in step with you and Red.

“Hi Mikey!” You said, smiling as you shifted the position of your umbrella to cover Michael too. You were so happy. You had been dating Michael for the last couple of months. Things had been going very well. He was incredibly handsome. Sweet despite the darkness in his past. Your dogs liked each other.

All this despite your disastrous first meeting. You had taken Red out of her walk, on the leash since you were still training her. She had selective hearing about coming when called. Especially when there were squirrels to chase. And it was attempting to chase a squirrel that lead to you and Michael getting both your legs thoroughly entangled in Red’s leash.

By the time you had sorted out the mess, Michael had asked you out. And the rest, as they say, was history.

“Rather quiet there, pet,” Michael remarked. “What are ya thinkin’ about?”

“Just remembering how we met,” you said.

“Ah yes,” he said, smiling. “Our first kiss.”

“Michael!” You protested. “That wasn’t a kiss!”

When you and Michael had gotten tangled, you were pressed so close that your lips had brushed together. For some reason, Michael kept saying that was the first kiss you shared.

“What do ya mean?” Michael asked, feigning confusion. “We had our arms ‘round each other and yer lips were against mine. How’s that not a kiss?”

You laughed. “More like we have my dog’s leash around each other. And a kiss is more than just your lips touching mine.

“It does?”

He was fishing. You knew it. He knew it. But you indulged him anyway, leaning over and pressing your lips to his cheek. His beard was a little prickly but you didn’t mind. It was worth the shy smile that Michael gave you in return. Little gestures of affection had that effect on him.

“So lips pressed against the cheek are kisses,” he mused aloud, pretending to be thoughtful. “What about this?”

He leaned down and pressed a kiss on your forehead. You giggled. “Yes, that one qualifies.”

“And what about this one?” Michael cupped your face in his hands, then pressed his lips against yours. It started off as chaste as the first two but it didn’t take long for the kiss to turn passionate. You barely even noticed dropping your umbrella or the rain pouring down on your heads. It was only Red yanking on her leash that forced your mouths apart.

The critters that captured her interest this time were some frogs hopping across the path. You shake your head at your silly dog, leaning down to pick up your umbrella. Not that it would really make much of a difference as both of you were wet already. For reasons you couldn’t explain, this got you giggling.

Your laughter was apparently contagious as Michael’s chuckles soon joined in as he drew you against his side. Something you welcomed as Michael was not only very cuddly but also very warm. Even soaked by the rain, he was still so warm . . .

“Yer shivering,” he said. “My place is closer, let’s get ya warmed up.”

“That’ll be grand,” you said.

[imagine-silk]

Could you do Yandere Wanda Maximoff with a Darling that is just a normal Civilian?

》I started writing and then there was a blackout so it wiped the stuff it had so that's cool ( ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥)

It was love at first sight. Picture it; a giant plant monster has you in it's grasp, something cuts you loose and a red cloud catches you mid-air and you lock eyes with her. Just a regular meet-cute. She took you to safety and held you for a moment, a very shaky moment.

She finds you the next day just going about your normal life. It's honestly adorable how she comes up to you all nervous and not knowing how to act nonchalant. You ask her if you can buy her a coffee or something because she literally saved your life, it's the least you can do. Coffee turns into walking around becomes dinner then exchanging numbers.

When she sends the first text in her room she lays on her stomach staring at the phone waiting with bated breath. Immediate euphoria spreads everywhere when you text back and she kicks up her feet. The conversation isn't profound to you but it is to her.

If you're a student she finds out what times your classes are and if you allow her she'll visit the campus. If you work she'll try to buy whatever it is. Tickets to shows or food, whatever you do she'll find a way to go. If you're a construction worker or garbage man she'll ask if she can bring you lunch. She asks Tony to teach her how to cook and he directs her to his chef.

Speaking of Tony, he looks into you briefly. But seeing that you're a normal person he quickly loses interest. You're safe for her and that's all he needs to know.

Now here's where things get dramatic. She finds any excuse to leave the house. Any excuse. Sunny day? You have a day off? You see her daily and it's a bit much. When you tell her that she gets really sad. Does that mean she stops seeing you? Don't make me laugh. She just doesn't show you she's there. Texting doesn't take much effort so you keep that up.

The day you don't talk to her she cries her heart out into a pillow and consequently destroys everything around her. Tony freaks out, so does Steve, the one who actually lives with her. You are now on their radars. Vision has known about you from the start so this is not surprising but he's also not qualified to guide her feelings. You text back the next day saying you were busy and apologize with a cute crying emoji and she's right as rain.

She gathers all the courage in the world to ask you out and all the glass around the cafe breaks when you say yes. She doesn't even notice. Everything happens pretty slow but the second it does there's no turning back. Holding hands is a must. One kiss per date turns to two turns to a hundred. Always blushing and if you tease her she blushes harder. Teasing her makes her nervous but good nervous. It shows her you're paying attention intently.

Let's say someone is not too happy about her liking you, like a friend or someone on the street. They suddenly don't exist. Straight up. If it's brought to your attention you think you knew someone like that but for the life of you you can't seem to remember. Your family loves her but... when did you take her to see your family?

When another disaster happens she finds you immediately if your in the area and takes a moment to show off a little bit. The others find it annoying but they tolerate it. Having a superhero girlfriend is both cool and terrifying because it's basically having a guard in a war-zone.

Being a regular civilian makes it so you aren't up to date on everything she does so the immense power and destruction she has isn't something you know so you don't treat her like she's dangerous. That's also why you don't run or she her warping reality around you. You live in New York marvel style, weird shit happens all the time. And everything seems fine. Everything is fine, right?

[mindibindi]

Sometimes Things Just Work Out

Re-watching season 24 of SVU and some shippy themes emerged post-"Blood Out" that I haven't seen commented on, at least on here. So as we all know, Blood Out (24.12) gives us this telling moment:

The VERY NEXT EPISODE, "Intersection" (24.13) opens with a pretty extended proposal scene for what is just the teaser. The couple is played by two very appealing actors who get to establish their history and exchange cute banter, and there are some definite Bensler undertones:

New York is also Elliot and Olivia's city, bringing them together the first time around to fight crime and reuniting them more recently. Their entire relationship has taken place within the city limits. Without it, Elliot might still be back in Italy (or Queens) with Kathy and Olivia would be a single mom with a solid career and 5-star therapy routine. You might think the comparison is a stretch....UNTIL Josh with the cute topknot turns to his wisecracking gf and says she taught him the most important lesson of his life, which is:

Josh proposes, Emma joyfully accepts. But in the car ride home, there is a touch of sadness to their happy moment as Emma invokes her recently deceased sister. In EO terms, this loss could be said to reflect the shadow of Serena Benson, who never got to watch her daughter marry, settle down and have a family with the love of her life. Emma also worries about losing her engagement ring, which she of course does, when disaster quite literally hits them.

I won't go into the crime, which is horrific, but Emma and Josh's reactions are also reflective of Olivia and Elliot. Olivia meets with Emma a couple of times, noting that they seem to love each other very much and assuring Emma that she and Josh will get through this trauma. At their second meet, they discuss the fact that Josh has ghosted Emma and SVU, which...I dunno about anyone else, but that sounds pretty fucking Elliot Stabler to me. Speaking about the loss of Emma's sister, Olivia fills in the blanks with this:

...which is interesting. It implies that Olivia has used that enormous, unhealed wound of Elliot's departure to dwarf and diminish subsequent traumas and, in particular, her assault at the hands of William Lewis. Much like she used her mother's neglect and ultimate abandonment to shield her from feeling the impact of the many professional and personal wounds she experienced during her tenure as Elliot's partner. By using these deep personal wounds, inflicted by the two people most important to her, most loved and formative, she can shield herself from incoming hurts that are less personal, less predictable and less familiar. If so, if holding onto those familiar, formative wounds acts for Olivia as some kind of strange protection, that simultaneously honours those she loves most, then that would explain her resistance to letting go of the hurt Elliot caused when he walked away. Hence, her not being ready for a relationship after two plus decades.

While Emma refuses to give in to the trauma of her attack, Josh, much like Elliot falls into self-pity and self-blame, distancing himself from his fiance:

This whole ep gives "Paternity" vibes, since the couple are hit in much the same way that Olivia and Kathy were, triggering Elliot's chronic catholic guilt. And as the case continues, there's a whole web of marital affairs, because we're working on a theme here. Another EO parallel emerges with Bruno's marriage breakup. After visiting his ex, it's revealed that he drunk-dialled her, only not really cos he wasn't drunk. You know, kind of like Elliot showing up drugged to Olivia's apartment to spill his long withheld, deeply smitten guts. Bruno knows the fault is his and holds out hope for a reconciliation, to which, Liv gives a qualified maybe:

So...Olivia believes in love when it's new and fresh, even believes love can survive massive trauma. Buuuuut she isn't quite so sure of how to change directions on a love that has been heading in one direction for a long time.

The case concludes with a tense confrontation between a cheating wife and her rapist husband: bitter accusations and droll comments ensue. But the happy couple from the beginning survive their trauma and vow to protect one another from then on. The lost engagement ring is returned to Emma (analogous perhaps to the compass necklace that will no doubt return to Olivia at some meaningful point in time). It is at this point that Liv tells them:

Well. That's quite the pivot.

Oh, but wait, Benson ain't done being hopeful about mending fractured relationships yet. Because then she turns to Bruno, who admits that (like Elliot) he wasn't unfaithful (to Olivia). He was just unreachable, unavailable, avoidant. It wasn't a lack of feeling. It was just a lack of action, a lack of courage. Olivia's reply echoes the hope Bruno expressed earlier:

All of this is highly suggestive of Liv either consciously or unconsciously working through what happened at the end of "Blood Out" with Elliot, her questioning her words to him and mulling over his reply. It reflects EO's recent history of fracture and hesitant attempts at mending, despite their counter-productive coping strategies. That last line certainly suggests that she wants to be won back by the love of her life, even if she isn't too sure how to let go of the hurt she's used as a shield for ten plus years. Her changing comments throughout the episode suggest she does believe in love, she believes it can survive the worst traumas imaginable. She has absolute conviction in the possibility, the right even, of victims, survivors and even detectives she barely knows to pursue love and healing, reconciliation and fulfillment. The question is whether she believes in that possibility as strongly for herself and Elliot Stabler.