#does this hit without context
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tidbits જ⁀➴ hjirako shinji.
TAGS / WARNINGS: no shinji, angst, reader is drunk, gn reader WC: 500 NOTE: yes i do see the irony of this being a shinji snippet. with no shinji. sorry kings it had to be done.
✗ MINORS / AGELESS / BLANK BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.
Shinji has never loved etiquette, though he always liked to pretend he could tolerate it.
You remember this as your body tilts into a solid chest: a welcome presence compared to the winter chill caressing your face.
The privacy of the Fifth Division’s barracks has been a relief, especially with the distant roar of festival crowds. There’s no one in the vicinity—activities taken to public areas to celebrate. Even the forests are alight with song and dance.
Were she here, Yoruichi would tell you to take advantage of the mood. And this New Year’s festival has been quite enjoyable thanks to your cup’s generous helpings of liquor—the burn of plum wine softened to trickling richness with each gulp.
And you think, with a gentle heat soothing over the column of your neck, that maybe he’d be amenable to the idea you had in mind.
His attention comes easily when you pinch his sleeve.
“Shinji,” you whisper, leaning into the warmth of him, fingers curling in his haori; hoping to feel his long wisps of hair brushing your face, to warn him—like you’ve always wanted—against getting it in your mouth. “Sh’nji.”
Alcohol slurs the drop of his name, but he’ll forgive you, you’re sure; he’s had a few drinks too. He’ll understand.
A broad hand covers your wrist, pulling loose your pathetically weak grasp. Confused, disoriented, you blink heavy eyelids and refocus on the man in front of you.
“He’s not here,” Aizen says, face soft but pitying, his eyebrows lifted and creased in a gut-wrenching look of sympathy. “He’s gone.”
Your eyes fill with tears before he’s finished speaking, swallowing hard as emotion piles thick in your throat—gravity finally winning, letting you collapse the rest of the way into Aizen’s lap.
His hand is large and gentle on your spine as he consoles you.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, voice quiet and deep. “I know you were very close.”
All at once, you crumble. You let out an aborted little wail. It catches behind your teeth, a nauseating pressure that licks up your esophagus with a heaving breath as your mouth grows wet with spit.
Aizen doesn’t even know the half of it. You’d been close enough to Shinji to wake him from sleep; to feel his sun-kissed shoulder after lounging on roofs; to count the lines at the corner of his eyes and the tiny mole just below the first knot of his spine.
“It’s never felt right to me,” Aizen hums, “how easily he left you behind.” His thumb strokes over the bare skin of your nape when he speaks. You muffle an echoing sob into his thigh.
Not once have you received word from Shinji since his disappearance—what Aizen had called defection.
You would never again run a brush through his hair, or feel the jump of his chest when he laughs. Or even get a chance to show him your anger in person for leaving without a single word of goodbye.
#shinji hirako x reader#hirako shinji x reader#bleach x reader#bleach fic#reader insert#momodita fic#tidbits#gender neutral reader#does this hit without context#hope so <3333
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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One of my favorite space facts is that Pluto does have an atmosphere but only for another half decade or so.
#This is because it will soon leave the hottest part of its orbit#And the atmosphere that it does have will freeze out#It'll be back again in another ~250 years next time it hits aphelion#Things in the outer solar system move *real slow*#But when you tell people without that context#They rightly assume you mean that it will be gone forever as of five years from now#And they get very suspicious of how it's such a specific and near window#Which is usually the point at which I tell them the context
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HAZEL LEVESQUE X GOTHIC LIT
the son of neptune/ the mark of athena/ the lady of the house of love by angela carter
#hazel levesque#at some point when you make these you ask yourself questions like#“is this way too long?”#“does this make any sense at all without context?”#“why would anyone read this?”#and then. you have mercy and use a readmore#and then. you hit post#anyway. intersection of the gothic and modernity#may make a bunch more of these
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deciding (and realizing based on the way i write and think abt it) that no matter what bellum is not making it out of swabbie rank. he’s put at the lowest rank of whatever hierarchy linebeck decides to adhere to no matter what, no matter the au. bellum can be practically a stowaway or romantically involved with the captain but he is swabbie while link made it to first mate in a handful of months and while being like twelve. bellum gets the mop. to humble him.
#only fair that the minor demonic god is swabbie. cant give him too much. tags are a mess on this one btw#anyways secret criteria for being first mate is autism. you gotta be autistic to have actual authority on that ship#…..link would have some flavor of authority in post ph then. i need to thinm on that#salty talks#fuck uhhhh#post-ph#bellum#forgot what i was talkjg abt with this tbh. like what the context was#i know i was thinking abt how linebeck always refers to human bellum as a swabbie or some other low rank in the shipfic#GOD im sl fucking bad a mobilee typing normally i fix typos n shit and im sojng some ln the fly but twice now ive typo’d and instead#writtien ‘fuck’ instead if some other word. also im tired ig but god i hate typing on mobile so fuckint much#<- longest ive gone without bothering much to fix typos. hate it here (on my phone) anyways. i cant remembee the wider context to this#idk what rank damien would technically be. he helps with repairs and technically everyone does swabbie stuff#tbh with how linebecks ship is being swabbie probably isnt too bad aith how ive figured hes extremely loose with it n does everything#i thinm i wanted to say smth ph related and came up with this#the mobile typos frustrate me so bad rn its exacerbated by. something. but i kinda fucking hate it its not really funny or anything#also the mess of accidentally hitting the nimbers button and switching the keyboard. god. lol#anyways. squid on swabbie duty for forever sucks to suck man shouldnt have killed all those people. whatever
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its been a billion years since I posted anything meaningful about mcga but I'm thinking about Alex helping Magnus with clothes.
I think Blitzen would love to help style Magnus, but I think he might accidentally end up being a bit overbearing, albeit with good intentions. He wants to help, but would probably end up tripping over his own fashion opinions more often than not, and Magnus would want to make his friend happy too much to actually voice his own opinions consistently. But Alex would understand that identity through fashion is something slow to be discovered on your own. It's not instant, it's a slow process of trying things and finding out what makes you feel good physically and emotionally. You can't pressure a person finding their own style, especially someone who's never had much room to do so and will likely feel guilty about making that room. She's gone through the process, and she'd probably be more than happy to help someone with it too.
I'm thinking about them going around to different stores and finding that Magnus likes second hand and low-end boutique stuff more than anything. Alex letting him onto her etsy account and buying his first piece of jewelry, taking him around to all of her favorite stores where she's greeted as a friend. Yeah, they could do all this in Valhalla, but where's the fun in that?
I think Magnus would like earth tones and dark, muted colors. He would avoid synthetic materials for their unnaturally soft textures and blue would make rare appearances. Alex would parade him around in his first pair of White Guy Khaki Shorts in five years, glowing with a silly sort of pride and Magnus feeling something kindle back to life in his chest at a growing collection or flannels, just like his mom. I'm imagining Magnus learning what it's like to live with his body, rather than despite it, and feel comfortable with himself in his surroundings for the first time since he was a little kid, taking a hike in the woods. And I'm thinking of Alex holding his hand the whole time.
#feeling sooooo sos normal rn#and i dont mean to make this post and trample the people who feel clothing has no bearing on their comfort or self perception#i just want to talk about how much it can mean to someone trying to find who they really are and come to terms with that person#and when i say style i dont mean aesthetic or fashion. i simply mean personal preferences for comfort and look (if that matters)#your personal style can literally be cheap graphic tees and basketball shorts and if that makes you happy then have fun!! live your truth!!#this is just me noting that magnus seems to almost intentionally avoid clothes except to mention discomfort and i think he should get a#happier relationship with his outer appearance than he has especially considering the royal fuckery thats happened with his bodily autonomy#and confidence within the context of the series#i might be crazy and projecting but i just want to give him something kind. as a treat.#and alex does seem to enjoy sharing her passions with those she cares about!! its quality time without any kind of social expectations#regarding the nature of their attachment. she can just spend time with someone she likes doing something she likes no strings attached.#im sure its qlso fun to gently heckle things throughout the process with someone whos gonna just nod along 💀#im thinking way too hard about this#but im gonna hit post and know. i am still thinking.#magnus chase#alex fierro#mcga#mcga headcannon#raspberry rambles
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nosy anon again making a return because i think what my brain did was read that i helped find some kind of writing and then did not fully process what the writing was?? but upon rereading i am very intrigued if you ever get the urge to share i will be all eyes/ears/senses required to enjoy things!!
I GET TO DO WIP WEDNESDAYYYYYY!!! the writing exists mostly in the form of a tag (fantastic! 'verse) and also a thirty-two page doc of snippets and planning, so the sense you will be using most is imagination:
don't think i have ever actually formally written out anything about fantastic! 'verse but! the tl;dr of it is that it's a semi-college au: joel is still a hockey player for the lv phantoms, but morgan is a college student-athlete. it's incredibly relevant to the plot that joel falls in love with morgan in the check-out line of a wegman's, lies a little bit, and ends up going back to get his degree.
most of it is just good fun about college kids growing up, but i think there's a lot of parallels between making your way through a development system where traditional "success" isn't always guaranteed (ahl -> nhl, completion of higher education -> pursuit of a career) because that development system isn't always designed for you to "succeed" or have opportunities. heavy quotation marks around success because part of that struggle is learning what you want in life and how you define success. are your dreams achievable? are they still the same dreams you always used to have? it's infinite branching universes of would you still love me if i was a worm (ahl player forever) (a college dropout) (a college graduate) (older) (realizing the fallibility of your body) (uncertain of the future) (human).
silly little snippet:
#do i LOVE this snippet no we're still workshopping but i felt like y'all needed context for why it's fantastic! 'verse#and i can't link ash's tweet because. priv nor can i link kay or jos' replies so this is me saying Just Trust Me the tweet is this scene#anon the gift keeps on giving. i get to gab i get to be nosy the world is ideal i am here for it#does it count as wip wednesday if the w in question has been ip for four (?) years?#liv in the replies#HI THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO OUT WHEN I FIRST GOT IT BUT I MISSED WEDNESDAY SO I HAD TO WAIT A WHOLE WEEK TO HIT IT AGAIN#BECAUSE I GOT EXCITED ABOUT DOING THE DAYS OF THE WEEK wip wednesday#you know the one oh i LOVE this part audio? that's me any time somebody asks me questions i am SO inclined to share.#one time somebody made a comparison about the blog and walking through a garden and it made me weepy i can't even lie#ALSO I SAW YOUR OTHER ASK i am in the trenches about whether i want to post it or not i did also go look and see her morgan posting in 2019#and maybe she is the same girlfriend?? maybe they broke up and got back together?? maybe she just cleaned up her vsco??? SO confused#(the debate is for all the reasons you mentioned lol it's just me deciding how Public you have to be before i think i want to paper doll yo#into my narratives? in a public forum because i would absolutely dm/gc/etc where there's no chance she could see or be involved#(as if she is on tumblr) but also figuring out how much i let into the sandbox. To Me things like the edm polycule or including wags can be#interesting within the narratives and sometimes i just pretend they don't exist! right now i am intrigued by the fact of whether or not#i invented a girlfriend (???) for morgan but she really doesn't fit into my narratives in a fun/interesting way besides that#and i don't want to spread misinfo if i DID invent this other girlfriend. rip morgan's imaginary (??) gf although i KNOW there was one#with the artsy vsco claw marks on his back. i promise!!! maybe it was just her!!!#fantastic! 'verse#i have better snippets i promise this au is funny it also features like. all of the 2019-2020 flyers because that's when i started writing#AND probably ten of those 32 pages are plans for a sequel/companion about isaac ratcliffe my beloved 😭#don't think too hard about who is actually playing on the flyers or draft orders without people. EYE know who is still on the team#but i did not do the math shenanigans to figure out who replaced people like morgan or scooty loots. vibes only no PP units
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oh my god I know I’ve mentioned it before but I rlly cant stop thinking about it. don’t go into the woods is literally the pinnacle of autistic representation (to me). bear with me because I have a migraine and am struggling to stay conscious but. There are just so many various autistic experiences shown throughout the episode and what happens to jack in it. Like it’s borderline upsetting (for me) to watch because of how resonating they are.
firstly, jack actively wants to try and put himself out there. He wants to make friends and have normal human experiences even if he can’t exactly stop being ‘special.’ (Also, he does specifically say that he is “himself” again once his powers are back, so it’s like, yes that is something he more or less sees as an inherent part of himself, but I think the part he struggles with is the consequential nature of his powers and who he is. as I’ve said before, it’s one thing to simply be different than it is to be treated differently. )
furthermore, once jack realizes the kids are basically ‘safe’ to be honest with, as they’re aware of monsters, he’s the exact opposite of shy about his powers. that’s one thing about him I really love . Like he LOVES to show off and impress people and be praised/appreciated by others.it’s such a silly trait I wish was characterized more often. He also just instantly starts unmasking and info dumping Twice about Haitian zombie law (to Sam and Dean) and how to kill monsters god he’s so special you don’t understand. He is not a gatekeeper you WILL be forced to know about his special interests.
however even tho jack is shown to be very proud of his abilities and hunting knowledge the very Minute that he senses the other kids think he’s weird (Reminding everyone that they were judgy from the start and did not in fact invite him over because they like him) he just Cannot Stand It . That’s the consequential part yknow. Like jack does see and feel his powers as just an inherent part of him (which they Are), he’s literally said they feel like breathing. It’s just Who He Is yknow. but the consequential part of it is that people are either afraid of him, they hate him, or they think he’s weird. And jack doesn’t like any of that shit. He doesn’t like being cast out or defined by the thing that makes him a little more different.
‘he’s back to being the oddball.’ back to it, like that’s just the unfortunate default he’s stuck filling. (Also on another note I think it’s really sad on that he can already recognize the particular facial expression for “We Think You’re A Freak”). It’s like he can just sense the rejection and isolation before he even actually receives it, and the mere perception of that is enough to totally throw him off. Totally not an experience any autistic person has ever felt before. Totally not similar to a particular co-morbid form of dysphoria that commonly plagues autistic individuals. Not at all.
This episode has probably the most bleak ending to me? Not in a competitive sort of way, the show has gotten far bleaker I am aware. But in both the original script (that got entirely changed) and the actual episode, it ultimately ends with Jack just not having friends. We’ve all seen the episode I won’t recap that far. Head still hurts bad. But In the script, Jack only ever shows the kids various combat moves with an angel blade, and the accidental stabbing is by Eliot, and Jack healing Stacey is basically the Big Reveal of his powers and , as the script above shows, what he Really is. ?.
I guess all of the combined stress and just shock of the monster world (Eliot is previously shown to be basically paranoid of things out to get him earlier in the script) is enough for the kids to very gently let jack down and say they’ll see him again or something, but it literally ends with jack’s inner monologue that he knows he’s never gonna see them again, and going “so much for having friends.” The End.
And idk. To me It’s just so. Isolating. Like. You try and make friends and be a little normal and belong somewhere else for once but the entire time you get the vague sense that you’re still too weird and out of place, that everyone else also thinks you’re weird and out of place. You’re so used to rejection that the impending sense of it starts looming over you, but you still wanna put yourself out there! You still want to at least try! And then you get the pile of bricks dropped on your head. The Impending Rejection. Everyone leaves you alone again and you’re left with the solidified knowledge that you are in fact, too weird and too different to belong anywhere else, to have friends. You can’t be normal or accepted, you’ll always be alone and isolated and rejected.
Autism 101 yay
#I need to verbalize my every thought or I’ll fucking die#nothing supernatural does on purpose is good#which is why this entire episode is only autistic in subtext and general interpretation#but I’m . so#I’m so sad guys#the isolation is creeping in as always#me when I have a friend group and family and support but the isolation continues to hit anyways#I love jack but he makes me so upset . a lot#cal.txt#spn#jack kline#autistic jack kline#autism coded#spn 14x16#don’t go into the woods#please spn revival please let Jack have friends and love and accordance of him being weird and silly#I need to rip my skin off#also. the autistic experience of being an Entertaining Pet to everyone. is that anything#cant even think about the word pet in jack context without thinking abt the pet monster stuff#he’s so normal he really is
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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cis people are so funny. i turned in a poem for workshop a couple weeks ago about watching your body rot away around you (gender dysphoria) and opened my reading of it by reminding people of my pronouns (not specifically to go 'this poem is about being trans' but because i honestly had not said my pronouns to this class yet and i wanted my professor to know before he referred to me for the comments) and One girl opened her comment by saying "yeah, i saw your pronouns on canvas and i figured that the subject matter was related to that..." and then Nobody Spoke About Transgenderism For The Rest Of The Class. closest it got was referencing the narrator's discomfort with their body (the explicit focus of the poem). like y'all it's okay you can say the word trans it's kind of important to the piece lmao
#hopefully my hit poem 'i checked out a book on gender theory from miskatonic university this one time' will get them talking more lmao#y'all it's okayyyyyy you can talk about it i prommmmmyyyyyyy#maybe i open my workshop next week by saying that it's really important to me to talk about being openly trans in this political climate.#which is true and i would like to talk about it regardless.#but also one of the poems is about being trans and does not make a ton of sense without that context sooooooo....#just give em a little shove in the right direction. encourage them to say the words. you know.#valentine notes
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People in the comments of drst 232.1 literally will be like thank you inagaki sensei and boichi for giving us senku x kohaku fuel 🙈😍 when kohaku rubs her tits on senku and he tells her to fuck off (third time this has happened)
#Listen to my problems#they are actually more delusional than me ..... how do they do it ... liking a straightbait ship is worse than just liking yaoi#how many times do you need kohaku to go up to senku and be like 'can i have some semen?' and hes like 'no i have no time' and be like KYAAA#LIKE HES NOT GOING TO DO IT ... just fucking let her move on let her have her lesbian situationship with luna#THATS ANOTHER THING KOHAKU IS A LESBIAN (百合) im just saying the same things over and over but she literally offered to marry some guy as a#consolation prize .. marriage to a man is literally not important to her at all she will still find ways to have sex with women#she was vaguely interested in makeup and hair care but literally never in the context of impressing men#she hit it off so well with amaryllis when they were doing girl stuff together and then she never looked at makeup again#she cut her hair short without a second thought because they needed it for a craft project .... she literally is so awesome and makes me so#happy ... but she does genuinely want senkus sperm though. she wants to be a mom and hes the only man she trusts#they would be a great ship if they werent both gay is what im saying actually. in another era they would be married with kids and sleepinf#with other people. they have a great dynamic but again people cant conceive of a relationship outside of parental or sibling or lovers#like kohaku never ever courts him properly because shes just trying to wear him down by asking for his seed and the second he says Fine.#then there will be no force in the world to stop her from getting pregnant but she literally doesnt want to be with him she just thinks hes#awesome and cool... she does not love his gay ass
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(I've had my chatty medicines so you get a post about this)
There is something distinctly and uniquely alienating and bizarre about hearing people say 'Easter Sunday is the most religious day of the year'. Like, when was this?? If it's so religious and so so so important, how come no one thought to tell me it was religious until like four or five years ago?
Yeah it's kinda funny but I'm also sat there every time like "what the fuck are you talking about". The assumption I was raised Christian and am Christian via culture is really funny though cause like. Bro I have no fucking clue what any of this stuff is about.
My parents never taught me the majority of this shit. Anyone else assumed I already knew about it. This Easter talk I've been hearing about a weird amount more than normal is all new to me and making me think of all this shit lmao
#no I'm not joking about only realising it was religious a handful of years back#but it IS weird to see people talk about what MUST be my default beliefs given my country and just#very little of it being true?? I don't see a lot of this talk at the moment I just heard my dad talking about easter and it got me thinking#so don't mind me really but like.#as an example of what I mean. its assumed christian cultures push the belief of going to heaven when you die#it's probably true! but not for me. I was raised to belief that when you died you became a star in the sky#specifically on the first night you were the brightest star in the sky so everyone could see you#APPARENTLY this is greek?? I dunno man but it's not heaven lmao#there were loads of little every day things I remember seeing a while back that were listed as this stuff too#and I don't remember them at all but there were only a few there that I recognised as my own beliefs#i feel like i was raised culturally... i guess blank? so I picked up my own beliefs over time??#does that make sense?? is that a thing?? actually wondering if it's just me that gets this#cause it was only two years ago I found out valentines was a saints thing#wondering if anyone else was just raised with a 'I dunno its whatever' thing instead of a culturally religious thing#cause it IS weird seeing posts treating this knowledge as something everyone has I dunno#but ANYWAY it's funny sitting there while people are stunned you didn't know about the 'most religious day of the year'#my mans my only religious experiences were very VERY brief and I was mostly annoyed I couldn't eat the gummy bears on the impaled orange#what in the fuck is that about btw??? honestly what's the deal with that one???#why is there a whole service revolving around an orange with a bunch of cocktail sticks in it???#I don't even remember when that was I think it was end of the year time or something???#there was nothing to do so obviously my child self wasn't interested at all in anything but the orange#I need to look this up now I guess but without the context I'm supposed to have apparently this genuinely sounds batshit insane#I don't remember what I was talking about imma hit post and forget this whole thing and not reread anything#firefly life#<- probably. I don't remember
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@hystericfae I should've gone to bed but instead rifled through my diary and tried to write out the situation. apparently I'm missing too much memory to give a full scope of it, but maybe you can help make some judgments on it for me to read upon waking up.
it starts with all the entries I dug up, and then explanations in general
ignore the inherent cringe of 12 year old me's diary entries. they were for myself after all-
#it's missing so much emotion and context from actually living through it#that it just makes me look bad.... not that I didn't already feel like I was terrible from the beginning#but oh well#it's hard to detail such a situation without actually living it#especially years after when I hardly remember specifics#it really does feel silly though that this damaged me so badly#especially compared to your life. but I won't make this into the trauma olympics....#it was more painful to experience than to read about as I'm sure you can guess though#I'll just hit post before I start feeling silly about it 😭
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URGENT: 🚨🚨EARN IT ACT IS BACK IN THE SENATE 🚨🚨 TUMBLR’S NSFW BAN HITTING THE ENTIRE INTERNET THIS SUMMER 2023
April 28, 2023
I’m so sorry for the long post but please please please pay attention and spread this
What is the EARN IT Act?
The EARN IT Act (s. 1207) has been roundly condemned by nearly every major LGBTQ+ advocacy and human rights organization in the country.
This is the third time the Senate has been trying to force this through, and I talked about it last year. It is a bill that claims "protects children and victims against CSAM" by creating an unelected and politically appointed national commission of law enforcement specialists to dictate "best practices" that websites all across the nation will be forced to follow. (Keep in mind, most websites in the world are created in the US, so this has global ramifications). These "best practices" would include killing encryption so that any law enforcement can scan and see every single message, dm, photo, cloud storage, data, and any website you have every so much as glanced at. Contrary to popular belief, no they actually can't already do that. These "best practices" also create new laws for "removing CSAM" online, leading to mass censorship of non-CSAM content like what happened to tumblr. Keep in mind that groups like NCOSE, an anti-LGBT hate group, will be allowed on this commission. If websites don't follow these best practices, they lose their Section 230 protections, leading to mass censorship either way.
Section 230 is foundational to modern online communications. It's the entire reason social media exists. It grants legal protection to users and websites, and says that websites aren't responsible for what users upload online unless it's criminal. Without Section 230, websites are at the mercy of whatever bullshit regulatory laws any and every US state passes. Imagine if Texas and Florida were allowed to say what you can and can't publish and access online. That is what will happen if EARN IT passes. (For context, Trump wanted to get rid of Section 230 because he knew it would lead to mass govt surveillance and censorship of minorities online.)
This is really not a drill. Anyone who makes or consume anything “adult” and LGBT online has to be prepared to fight Sen. Blumenthal’s EARN IT Act, brought back from the grave by a bipartisan consensus to destroy Section 230. If this bill passes, we’re going to see most, if not all, adult content and accounts removed from mainstream platforms. This will include anything related to LGBT content, including SFW fanfiction, for example. Youtube, Twitter, Reddit, Tiktok, Tumblr, all of them will be completely gutted of anything related to LGBT content, abortion healthcare, resources for victims of any type of abuse, etc. It is a right-wing fascists wet dream, which is why NCOSE is behind this bill and why another name for this bill is named in reference to NCOSE.
NCOSE used to be named Morality in Media, and has rebranded into an "anti-trafficking" organization. They are a hate group that has made millions off of being "against trafficking" while helping almost no victims and pushing for homophobic laws globally. They have successfully pushing the idea that any form of sexual expression, including talking about HEALTH, leads to sex trafficking. That's how SESTA passed. Their goal is to eliminate all sex, anything gay, and everything that goes against their idea of ‘God’ from the internet and hyper disney-fy and sanitize it. This is a highly coordinated attack on multiple fronts.
The EARN IT Act will lead to mass online censorship and surveillance. Platforms will be forced to scan their users’ communications and censor all sex-related content, including sex education, literally anything lgbt, transgender or non-binary education and support systems, aything related to abortion, and sex worker communication according to the ACLU. All this in the name of “protecting kids” and “fighting CSAM”, both of which the bill does nothing of the sort. In fact it makes fighting CSEM even harder.
EARN IT will open the way for politicians to define the category of “pornography" as they — or the lobbies that fund them — please. The same way that right-wing groups have successfully banned books about race and LGBT, are banning trans people from existing, all under the guise of protecting children from "grooming and exploitation", is how they will successfully censor the internet.
As long as state legislatures can tie in "fighting CSAM" to their bullshit laws, they can use EARN IT to censor and surveill whatever they want.
This is already a nightmare enough. But the bill also DESTROYS ENCRYPTION, you know, the thing protecting literally anyone or any govt entity from going into your private messages and emails and anything on your devices and spying on you.
This bill is going to finish what FOSTA/SESTA started. And that should terrify you.
Senator Blumenthal (Same guy who said ‘Facebook should ban finsta’) pushed this bill all of 2020, literally every activist (There were more than half a million signatures on this site opposing this act!) pushed hard to stop this bill. Now he brings it back, doesn’t show the text of the bill until hours later, and it’s WORSE. Instead of fixing literally anything in the bill that might actually protect kids online, Bluemnthal is hoping to fast track this and shove it through, hoping to get little media attention other than propaganda of “protecting kids” to support this shitty legislation that will harm kids. Blumental doesn't care about protecting anyone, and only wants his name in headlines.
It will make CSAM much much worse.
One of the many reasons this bill is so dangerous: It totally misunderstands how Section 230 works, and in doing so (as with FOSTA) it is likely to make the very real problem of CSAM worse, not better. Section 230 gives companies the flexibility to try different approaches to dealing with various content moderation challenges. It allows for greater and greater experimentation and adjustments as they learn what works – without fear of liability for any “failure.” Removing Section 230 protections does the opposite. It says if you do anything, you may face crippling legal liability. This actually makes companies less willing to do anything that involves trying to seek out, take down, and report CSAM because of the greatly increased liability that comes with admitting that there is CSAM on your platform to search for and deal with. This liability would allow anyone for any reason to sue any platform they want, suing smaller ones out of existence. Look at what is happening right now with book bans across the nation with far right groups. This is going to happen to the internet if this bill passes.
(Remember, the state department released a report in December 2021 recommending that the government crack down on “obscenity” as hard the Reagan Administration did. If this bill passes, it could easily go way beyond shit red states are currently trying. It is a goldmine for the fascist right that is currently in the middle of banning every book that talks about race and sexuality across the US.)
The reason these bills keep showing up is because there is this false lie spread by organizations like NCOSE that platforms do nothing about CSEM online. However, platforms are already liable for child sexual exploitation under federal law. Tech companies sent more than 45 million+ instances of CSAM to the DOJ in 2019 alone, most of which they declined to investigate. This shows that platforms are actually doing everything in their power already to stop CSEM by following already existing laws. The Earn It Act includes zero resources for proven investigation or prevention programs. If Senator Bluementhal actually cared about protecting youth, why wouldn’t he include anything to actually protect them in his shitty horrible bill? EARN IT is actually likely to make prosecuting child molesters more difficult since evidence collected this way likely violates the Fourth Amendment and would be inadmissible in court.
I don’t know why so many Senators are eager to cosponsor the “make child pornography worse” bill, but here we are.
HOW TO FIGHT BACK
EARN IT Act was introduced just two weeks ago and is already being fast-tracked. It will be marked up the week of May 1st and head to the Senate floor immediately after. If there is no loud and consistent opposition, it will be law by JUNE! Most bills never go to markup, so this means they are putting pressure to move this through. There are already 20 co-sponsors, a fifth of the entire Senate. This is an uphill battle and it is very much all hands on deck.
CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES.
This website takes you to your Senator / House members contact info. EMAIL, MESSAGE, SEND LETTERS, CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL. Calling is the BEST way to get a message through. Get your family and friends to send calls too. This is literally the end of free speech online.
(202) 224-3121 connects you to the congressional hotline. Here is a call script if you don't know what to say. Call them every day. Even on the weekends, leaving voicemails are fine.
2. Sign these petitions!
Link to Petition 1
Link to Petition 2
3. SPREAD THE WORD ONLINE
If you have any social media, spread this online. One of the best ways we fought back against this last year was MASSIVE spread online. Tiktok, reddit, twitter, discord, whatever means you have at least mention it. We could see most social media die out by this fall if we don't fight back.
Here is a linktree with more information on this bill including a masterpost of articles, the links to petitions, and the call script.
DISCORD LINK IF YOU WANT TO HELP FIGHT IT
TLDR: The EARN IT Act will lead to online censorship of any and all adult & lgbt content across the entire internet, open the floodgates to mass surveillance the likes which we haven’t seen before, lead to much more CSEM being distributed online, and destroy encryption. Call 202-224-3121 to connect to your house and senate representative and tell them to VOTE NO on this bill that does not protect anyone and harms everyone.
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I used to really love the first romance scene with Astarion (and I still do) but it hits so much harder after you know why he's doing it. That he's purposefully seducing you for protection and blood, that he's forcing himself to sleep with you, and this is a mask he's wearing.
It's a sexy scene and really feeds into the vampy (pun intended) jump-your-bones version of him you get at the start of the game. The whole thing starts out with him being so confident and suave, saying that he's wanted you ever since he set eyes on you and how you want to be known and tasted. It's like everyone's perfect vampire romance novel.
He's laying out the bait that's worked thousands of times over and luring you in. And you can just get right to the kissing if you want.
But, you can also stop and ask him, "And what do you want?"
And for just a moment the mask drops. This is not the same cocky seductive face we've had up until now. This is vulnerability showing. When has anyone asked him what he wants? When has anyone cared? Does he even know the answer to that question?
So he pivots. The mask snaps back into place immediately. He turns back into the master seducer and feeds you a line about shared ecstasy to get you back on track.
And then comes what is, to me, the pivotal moment. He asks you "That's what you want, isn't it? To lose yourself in me?"
Looking at his body language he seems unsure at first, maybe questioning his previous tactics. Then he slightly cowers back, lowering himself as he asks the question. The total opposite of his confidence from earlier where he's standing with his arms out wide.
He's not sure what you want anymore. You're not playing by the rules he knows. Why haven't you taken the bait yet? Why haven't you thrown yourself at him?
And when you finally Nod in agreement, confirming you're here for sex?
This. This is the face he gives you. He just looks so damn sad. To me, it hearkens back to "Of course it'll turn me into a monster. What else did I expect?"
Whatever momentary blip made him question why you're there with him, he's just been reassured about both of your roles in this situation.
He sounds so quietly resigned when he answers: "I thought so."
And then the scene transitions into the actual act. I do like to think Astarion enjoyed himself as I'm sure the PC did, but it's hard for me to watch this scene now that I know his story and history without being uncomfortable.
Just that line "lose yourself in me" is so difficult to hear. Because on paper it's so sensual. Who wouldn't want a lover to feel that way about them? But knowing the context of what Astarion expects and believes in this moment is just... oof.
And to me, this is what makes this scene brilliant. The writing, voice acting, and the mocap/animation are all just SO GOOD. It's so delicately done and Astarion the character is so good at playing a role that you can completely gloss over the deeper stuff. But once the mask is eventually stripped away you can't help but see what was there the whole time.
And as we've established, being seen is a whole aspect of Astarion's romance arc.
I originally romanced Astarion for the same reasons I'm sure most did: he's a hot, sexy vampire elf (i.e. everything that's on the surface). But, I keep coming back to him over and over again for the person I know is waiting for me underneath the mask.
#astarion#baldur's gate 3 astarion#astarion spoilers#astarion romance#baldur's gate 3#baulders gate 3 spoilers#bg3
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there's people who don't consider what Tain did to Garak to be abuse at all. They consider it "normal" in line with how mafia families and such act (which, someone may note, is still abuse in those cases too), and say that Garak's closet story is a lie- despite the fact that Garak tells Ezri about it without realizing that it was unusual or bad at first. He doesn't use it as a sympathetic ploy to distract her, he seems genuinely shocked and later, annoyed that she thinks that was abusive (or at least that she thinks his abuse is impacting him now).
everybody talks about tain, and with good reason, but nobody ever talks about mila. we don’t see her very often, but these interactions just reek of abuse.
(even if “you shouldn’t be involved” was meant to be concerned/affectionate as abusers sometimes are, garak’s reaction and immediate “if it’s no trouble that is” interjection is very telling, imo.)
#I think raising your kids with the intent of being cops/spies/assassins/torturers is abuse tbh because without like#Hitting them or neglecting them you're raising them with a violent ideology where they will probably kill people#And it's at least emotionally abusive even if you don't have them actually doing that under age (child soldiers are bad for a reason)#And plenty of people DO think Garak started working for the Order before he was an adult though it's ambiguous#And people also consider if Garak honeypotted and like. Your dad picking people for you to fuck in that context is sexually violent#Both on your part and the fact that honeypotting is sexually violent towards the 'fly' esp if you're gathering blackmail#But just canonically. Tain probably locked Garak in a closet as punishment. Tain raised Garak to be a killer and a spy.#Tain took Garak’s feelings about love and service and twisted them until Garak NEEDS to be serving Cardassia and NEEDS to please Tain#And even at a young age was injuring himself in order to get Tain's approval#(Unless you think that's a lie too)#People have a tendency to handwave anything Garak says that they don't vibe with as 'he's a liar who lies'#Including things Garak says in moments where him lying does not make sense in context with occams razor#And there is no pay off or hint indicating the lie#And it feels so fucking lazy. The 'it was all a dream' of character interpretation#Why would Garak and Tain by lying about that day in the country when Tain is on his deathbed and thinks they're alone#By that point he's even admitting Garak is his son. Why would Tain be lying. How is it more satisfying if he's lying.#That's setting aside the fact that Garak does lie a lot- but most of the time his lies are fucking absurd and a smoke screen for him#Blatantly telling the truth and making it sound like another silly lie#Garak tells the truth a lot too. You need to actually understand the rhythm of a character!#I need to find that spy analysis podcast I listened to because I found their point that Garak actually doesn't lie as much as people think#Really interesting
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