#does not look great for orion lake

[natti-ice]

Wrong Assumptions- Regulus Black.

Pairing: Regulus Black x fem!reader

Summary: The Marauders come to visit for the summer, Regulus does everything to avoid the love of his life

Warnings: written in third person (she/her pronouns), this is two parts in one (2.7k words)

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

Summer breaks at 12 Grimmauld Place weren't always eventful. It was quiet most days, a rare conversation here and there. The Black brothers got along to a certain extent. Even when his parents were constantly comparing him to his brother, Sirius did love his brother. Regulus wouldn't say it out loud but he loved his brother too. 

This break was different than the rest, Walburga and Orion were out of town for a few weeks. This meant the boys had the house to themselves. Sirius took advantage of this immediately. He sent an owl to his friends the second his parents left, telling them to come asap. 

Regulus didn't care they were gone, or that Sirius had friends over. He kept to himself most of the day anyway. He wasn't overly fond of Sirius' friends, they were the complete opposite of him. Loud, obnoxious, just all over the place. Well, that was mainly James.

He could tolerate the tall one, the short boy didn't look in his direction so Regulus didn't mind him. He liked Y/N, only because she was his friend first.

Growing up, their parents were friends. Y/N would come over and play with the boys, she was always closer with Regulus even though she was a year older. She wasn't into the things Sirius liked. He was more into physical toys, while Y/N and Reg would create fantasy lands with their imaginations. 

One day they could be pirates finding lost treasure at sea, the next they were doctors performing emergency surgery on a teddy bear. This went on for a while till it was time for her to go to school. That's when she and Sirius became close, it seemed like she completely forgot about Regulus.

Most people thought Sirius and Y/N were in love the way they were never separate. For a while, Regulus didn't think that until he saw Y/N and Sirius cuddled up at the great lake one day. 

The Marauders arrived a few days ago, nothing crazy had happened thankfully. No kitchen fires or broken vases, just loud voices that reminded Regulus of their presence. 

-

It was about 8:30 in the morning, the house was quiet. Regulus figured they were all still asleep, he didn't like to leave his room when they were about the house. He went downstairs to the kitchen to make himself breakfast.

Walking into the kitchen, heading straight to the cabinet to make his morning tea. He failed to see someone already sitting at the dining table

"Good morning Reggie" She said

"Morning" he said with a thin-lipped smile

"How have you been?" she kept the conversation going

"I've been fine" he sat in front of her, stirring his tea

They made small talk for a while, catching up on what the other has been doing over the years. They hadn't had an actual conversation in who knows how long. Small waves and hellos in the hallways were the extent of their friendship.

The conversation was easy as if they'd never stopped talking. A few laughs here and there, until the boys woke up. Thumbing could be heard from outside the kitchen door, the boys came into the kitchen all at once. They were already talking about something probably meaningless. Regulus took this opportunity to slip out of the room.

It kind of hurt Y/N to see him leave, but she understood. He wasn't a people person. She would see him around school, always by himself. He would talk to some boys in his house, but she knew they weren't his close friends.

"Y/N/N get dressed, we're going into town today" Sirius told the girl as he buttered his toast

She listened heading up the stairs to her room to pick out an outfit. She passes by Regulus' room, stopping, backing up to be in front of his door.

She figured it wouldn't hurt to ask if he wanted to come. She knocks on the door

"Hey Reg, can I come in for a sec"

"sure" muffled by the door, she cracks open slightly stepping into his room.

It was very neat and elegant for a young man. A tall bookshelf and desk furnished his room.

"The boys and I are going out later, I just wanted to know if you wanted to come" she smiled

"Oh, no. Thank you, though" he said quicker than she'd like

"Okay, I'll see you later then" she left his room, it was probably for the best. The boys would've flipped if he came.

-

The sun was almost completely down before the Marauders came back. They went all over London. 

During their absence, Regulus thought back to that day at the lake. He was studying some plants for herbology that lived in the water. A few feet away was his brother's little friend group. Sirius was leaning up against a tree, while Y/N was rested under his arm with her head on his shoulder.

A small pain struck Regulus' heart, he didn't understand it back then but he knows now. He's in love with her, the feeling was new to him. He felt sick to his stomach any time he saw them together after that day.

That's why he didn't want to go out with them, if it was just Y/N, he'd go anywhere she wanted. 

The boys had worn themselves out today, they all were asleep by 11:30. Y/N laid in her bed, trying her best to fall asleep. She was restless, she didn't have as much fun as she pretended she did. Throughout the day Regulus ran through her mind. She missed being around him, watching him grow up on the sidelines was painful. They should've done it together.

When he got sorted into a different house, she knew there wasn't a chance for their relationship to be as it once was. 

She left her bed, she walked the halls of the house trying to cure her boredom. She decided to go up to the roof. It was a place she and Reggie would sneak off to when they'd gotten in trouble. No one ever found them.

She climbed up the hidden ladder that was installed into the ceiling of the top floor. A warm breeze hit her face as she got to the roof. She sat down against the brick wall that's connected to the chimney.

 She sighed, finally some fresh air. She loved her friends, but sometimes they were too much.

"Y/N?" A voice said

"Reggie?" she asked back

A tall figure came from behind the wall, sitting next to her. 

"What are you doing out here?" He asked

"Just needed a little air" he nods, "I didn't know you still came up here" she says

"Yeah, it's my own hideaway" a small smile on his face

They sat in silence for a minute or two. Y/N taking in the beauty of the night sky.

"Can I ask you something?" Regulus asked randomly

"Sure, anything" 

He takes a short pause, thinking of how to word the question. "Are you in love with my brother?" he asks in a quiet voice

She looked at him searching for any sign he was joking. He was being serious. She had to laugh. 

"What's so funny?" He was confused by her hysterics

"I'm sorry, it was just funny. You think I like Sirius?" 

"You don't?" He was even more confused now

"No! I love him, just not in that way. I don't know why everyone thinks me and him are a thing." She explained

"Okay... what about when you two were cozied up at the lake?"  

"Are you stalking me Reggie?" she teased

"What? No." He was thankful for the darkness, he could feel his face heating up

"It was cold that day, I forgot my jacket. He was being a good friend is all. Plus he's not really my type" she said

"Oh. I don't think he deserves you anyway" he smirked "What is your type then?" He needed to know, he knew it would eat him up if he didn't know.

It felt like she was taking forever to answer, he could hear his pulse. It was so loud, he almost missed what she said.

"I'm sorry what?" he asked

"I said, you" She smiled

This was something he had wanted to hear for a very long time, now was his time. Something came over him, and he went for it.

"I love you" he blurted out

"I was hoping you'd say that" she leaned in slightly, inches away from his face "I'm going to kiss you now" she whispered

Regulus closed the distance between them, holding her cheek in hand. This moment was what he thought about every day. He was afraid he was dreaming. Finally pulling away for air. 

"I love you too, Reggie"

-

They didn't stay on the roof for long, the summer nights were quite warm. Sleep wasn't an option for them, rekindling their friendship and starting a new relationship gave them an adrenaline boost.

They thought of things they could do that were fun but didn't risk them getting caught. Regulus was trying to come up with something when he remembered a little secret of his.

"I know something we can do, but if you tell anyone I'll deny it" he started

"What are you talking about? Should I be worried?" She asked, his bold vague statement made her very curious

"I own one of those muggle television sets. I was tired of hearing the kids at school talking about them so I had to see what the big deal was"

"Really?"

He nods,

"Oh my" she laughs, "Who would've thought, the pureblood has a liking for muggle things"

"Hey, it was only-"

"I'm teasing, Reg!" she smiled at him "I'd love to watch tv with you"

"C'mon I show you where it is," he said, standing up offering her a hand.

She accepted it, pulling herself up. They climbed back down the ladder into the house. Regulus took her hand, leading her down the dark hallway to a small room in an abandoned part of the house.

The room was pretty bare, with only a small tv and a two-person couch filling the space. Reg walks over to the television turning the dials finding his favorite channel. It played reruns of the American show 'Charlie's Angels'.

Both of them sat down on the couch, closer than they would've this time yesterday. He had already seen this episode before, he filled Y/N in on what she'd missed.

The couple sat together enjoying the program, neither of them could believe they were finally together. They were still getting used to being around each other again. It was a little awkward at first, but as their nerves calmed they eased into it.

"Y'know what would make this better?" Y/N said

"What?" his voice raspy from not speaking

"Snacks"

"You're absolutely right" he smiled

Walking downstairs, trying their best to be quiet. They knew if the boys found out, it would be a whole fiasco. It was best to keep it to themselves for now.

Y/N took the lead stepping into the kitchen pushing open the door, the fridge light was already illuminating the room. Sirius had woken up and decided to get something to drink.

"Oh hey Y/N/N... and Regulus?" he furrowed his brows together "What are you two doing?" he questioned

"Just hanging out, we couldn't sleep" She came up with on the fly, Regulus silently stood behind her, maintaining eye contact with his older brother.

"Right, can I talk to you for a minute, Y/N" he said pulling her into the other room

She kept her composure, she knew he had many questions. But she wasn't ready to tell him everything just yet.

"You and him are friends now?"

"We've always been friends, Sirius. We just haven't talked in a while that's all" she told him

"Okay, just answer me this one question" he sighed, dreading the answer. "Are you messing around with my brother?"

"WHAT?" She said a little too loudly "No, I am not messing around with him" she whispered, Regulus was probably listening

"I'll take your word for it" he put his hands up in defense "I've got to go back to bed, Goodnight"

"Goodnight, Sirius" she watched as he ascended up the stairs

She released the breath she didn't know she was holding, going back into the kitchen.

"How'd it go?" Regulus asked

"Fine, but he is very suspicious. If we want to keep this a secret, we'll have to be more discrete." She didn't like keeping secrets from Sirius, but she didn't want to jeopardize her relationship with Regulus.

He walks up to her, taking her face in his hand. "We'll tell him soon enough, don't worry dear" he tells her, placing a small kiss on her forehead

-

It was the Marauders last week at The Black's house. Every night Y/N and Regulus would stay up, take every moment they could to be together before she had to leave.

This also meant they were exhausted during the day. She still had to hang around the boys, so she sacrificed her sleep to keep her secret. The boys noticed her tiredness but didn't pay it any mind, figured she was worn out from being around them for so long.

There were a few times they had almost got caught, barely getting out of each situation. Like the time James decided to be an early bird.

It was 4:45 am, Y/N and Regulus had accidentally fallen asleep in the living room. Y/N was laying on top of Regulus. James half-awake walked past the room, thankfully it was quite dark in the house. He could only see her figure on the couch.

"Psst, Y/N" This caused her to stir, she realized whose voice that was. Slowly turning her head to face James, thinking she was caught.

He wasn't looking in her direction thankfully

"Yeah?" she answered

"Go to your room, there's no way that couch is comfortable" he walked away

She frantically woke up Regulus after she saw James' silhouette was gone. They both had to tiptoe back to their respective rooms.

-

Today was her last day. One by one the Marauders were leaving. James and Y/N were the last to leave. She, James, and Sirius were waiting in the living room. Her parents would be there any minute, so she wanted to say goodbye to regulus.

"I'm gonna go say goodbye to Reggie" she told the boys

"Careful, he might bite" James laughed

Rolling her eyes, she made her way to his room. Lightly knocking on the door,

"Hey Reggie, can I come in?" she asks

"Of course," he replied

She walks into the room, he was standing in the middle of the room. He'd been waiting for her to come up there.

"My parents will be here soon, I wanted to say goodbye" She walks up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He snakes his arms around her shoulders, squeezing her tight.

"School starts back soon, Won't be long we'll see each other again" he says pulling away slightly so they're face to face.

"I love you, Y/N" He leans down, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss.

He's so happy he finally got the girl. The girl he always wanted, even when he thought she loved his brother.

"Hey Y/N, your parents-" Sirius says walking into his brothers from

The couple pulls away from each other, not fast enough for Sirius not to see.

"Haven't you heard of knocking" Regulus questions his brother

"I thought you said you two weren't messing around?" confusion slapped across his face

"We're not!" she panics

"Right, then what the hell was that?" slight anger in his tone

"We're not messing around. I love him, Sirius" She had to tell the truth

Sirius didn't say anything, only eyed the couple. Sighing he finally replied,

"I know,"

"You know?" Regulus asks

"Yeah, I've always known you loved each other. I just didn't know how to feel about it"

"How do you feel about it?" Y/N didn't want this to ruin anything being her and Sirius, he's her best friend

"It'll take me a while to get used to, but I want you guys to be happy"

Y/N walks up to him, wrapping him in a bear hug. "Thank you" she whispers

A car horn is heard outside the window

"I should probably go" she let go of her friend, walking back over to her boyfriend

"I love you, Reggie" giving him a quick peck

"Ew, please don't do that around me," Sirius says, a sickened look on his face

"You're gonna have to get use to it" she shrugged walking out of the room. Regulus follows behind her, standing next to his brother

"Goodbye Y/N" Sirius yells down the hall

"Goodbye boys" she says, heading down the stairs

Once he heard the door shut, Sirius turned to his brother

"If you hurt her, I promise you I will make your life hell" he put on a fake smile

"I wouldn't dream of it" he matched his brother's smile

Tags: @madwcman

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[topguncortez]

You're Still Alive in My Head - N. Bradshaw

whumptober masterlist || previous day

prompt: Hallucinations

synopsis: You had a thing for the night sky since you can remember, and Goose loves sharing in your obsession.

warnings: hallucinations, dying, character death, mentions of graphic injuries, cursing, mentions of cheating, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of an affair, pre-death anxiety

word count: 1.4k

“There’s so many stars tonight”

It was strange, looking up at the inky black sky that stretched over the Southern California beach. Usually, the lights and smog from the city that never sleeps blocked the stars from shining, but not tonight. It seemed as though every star in the sky was shining bright. 

“I remember being at boot camp,” You sighed, placing your hands behind your head, “And when we did the stupid over leg pull, and staring up at the stars. It was like a game to keep me sane. Which constellation would I find that morning?”

The memory of those early mornings in the Great Lakes, the chill from the ground as the earth cooled, staring up at the last remaining moments of night before the sun took over and it became scorching. Unlike some of the guys in your class, you had to take the long way to get to where you are in the Navy. Joining at age 18, shipping out just days after your high school graduation to the Great Lakes Training Center for 10 weeks, and then off to tech school in Virginia Beach. After that, you went to UVA, joined ROTC, graduated with your degree in political science, and then applied to flight school. It was then that you met him, and ever since then the two of you had an inseparable bond. You two crossed that sacred line between friend and lover one too many times to count, but it never went farther than late nights sneaking into each other’s bunk rooms while at sea. 

“Orion was the easiest to spot,” You said, turning your head to look at the man laying in the sand next to you. Goose’s brown eyes shimmered in the moonlight, as he turned to look at you. A soft smile graced his face. 

“You and the stars,” He responded. 

“They’re just so interesting!” You exclaimed, “The stories behind the clusters.” 

“Yeah, well, what does that one mean?” Goose challenged, pointing towards a constellation. 

It took you a moment, as your eyes squinted trying to connect the dots and lines in the sky, “That’s scorpio. He brought down Orion, the mythical hunter by stinging him. He lies in a different part of the sky at a different time. It is said that Orion is fleeing as Scorpio rises.” 

You weren’t entirely sure when your fascination with the night sky started. It started long before you had entered the Navy, but being a pilot didn’t help the obsession any. If anything, it has made it worse. There were many nights, being in the middle of the sea, where you would lay on the flight deck, staring up at the night sky. If you were on assignment with Goose, he usually joined you, revealing in the silence. He loved Maverick, but there were sometimes he just needed to get away from his short, loud, friend. The two of you had spent many hours on top of the flight deck, lying in silence while looking at the stars. Occasionally, Goose would quiz you, asking you about the constellations and the one-off planet that could be seen from earth. It was actually Goose, who had given you your callsign way back in flight school, all based on your love of the stars. 

“What about that one, Nebula,” Goose pointed towards another constellation. 

“Andromeda, the chained lady,” You rattled off, “She was sacrificed to try and save a kingdom that Poseidon tried to flood. She was chained to a cliff for a sea monster to eat.”

“Sheesh, that’s brutal,” Goose hissed, “I would never chain you to the side of a cliff to be left for a sea monster to eat.”

You looked at him, love and admiration in your eyes, “Thanks, Goose.” 

The silence stretched back between the two of you. It felt right. Lying in the warm, white sand beneath the glow of the stars, next to the man that you had fallen so deeply in love with. You knew that you were torturing yourself by not being able to move on from him. He was married now, and you liked Carole. He even had a child, Bradley, who was the splitting image of his father. But you just couldn’t do it, you couldn’t give up on the possibility that maybe one day, he would act on the feelings you knew he had for you. There had been several moments since your arrival at TopGun, the stress and tension getting to you both; you having to prove that you could be there next to your male counterparts and Goose, needing to prove that him and Mav hadn’t soloed under a lucky star, where you almost acted on impulse. But every time those feelings were brought up, you would stop yourself, too scared to do anything. 

“What about that one?” Goose asked. 

“Ah, you found the big dipper, probably the most recognizable star in the sky.” 

“And why is that?” 

“There’s a lot of history behind it,” You said, “One of the stars that make up the big dipper is the North Star. During slavery times, the enslaved people would find the big dipper, and the North Star, and follow it to freedom. However, in Arabian lore, the big dipper is associated with funerals.” 

It was interesting to you, how such a star could have two very different meanings. It was the beauty in the stars, you assumed. Everything had two sides to it, a beautiful side and a dark side. It was like you and Goose. The two of you had such a beautiful friendship, years of camaraderie and flying in the sky next to one another. You trusted Goose with your life, and him too. Goose would consider you a closer friend to him than Maverick was. The two of you complimented each other, you the serious one, him the goofball. You understood Goose on a different level than Mav did. But just like there was beauty in the friendship, there was also darkness. You were the one he ran to when Carole first told him she was pregnant. You were the one who held him when he cried and told you that he couldn’t be with you because he had to “do right by Carole, and marry her.” You were the one he told he was scared that Mav would one day get him killed, and he feared never being able to be the father he wanted to be. 

“Why don’t you follow it?” Goose asked.

Your eyebrows furrowed, as you pushed yourself up on your elbows and looked at him, “What?” 

“To freedom,” Goose said, nodding his head towards the star, “Why don’t you follow the star to freedom? Better than waiting for your funeral.” 

“Goose,” You shook your head, “I-I don’t. . .” 

“Y/N,” Goose whispered to you, “Baby.” 

Suddenly the warm sand that once surrounded you, was replaced with cold snow. The gentle crash of the waves turned into the howling of winter wind against your face. You looked down at your body, finding your tattered flight suit in place of the yellow sundress you thought you were wearing. Your hands were covered in blood, chapped and cracking from the biting cold. The scent of gentle sea breeze and salt was now the all too familiar scent of jet fuel and smoke. Your lips felt dry, and your eyes welled with tears as you looked around. 

“Nick,” You said, barely above a whisper. 

His eyes were still soft, but instead of his normal tanned face, an ugly purple, bloodied bruise blemished his face. It all came back to you, as this was the way he looked the last time you had seen him, when the Coast Guard had landed back at Top Gun to unload his body. A sob racked your body as you realized what had happened to you. 

“Oh god! Oh god!” You held your face in your hands. 

“Shh, shh,” Goose cooed, wrapping his arms around you, “We almost made it.” 

“I’m gonna die,” Your breathing picked up as your heart hammered in your chest. You knew about pre-death anxiety, but you never knew that you would feel it like this. The thought of dying out here, alone in the wilderness, where no one was here to find you, was terrifying. But the one comfort you did have, was the hallucination of your best friend next to you.  

“Don’t leave me,” You leaned into his body, “Please.” 

Goose shifted, his hands holding your face, “I can’t stay,” You closed your eyes as he kissed your forehead, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” He said against your skin, before disappearing into the night sky.

taglist: @damrlova @shanimallina87 @desert-fern @mygyn @cherrycola27 @sio-ina-bottle @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @xoxabs88xox @happypopcornprincess @bradswolfe @callsignharper @genius250 @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @callsignartemis @starberryhorse @gspenc @poppyalice2001 @els-marvelvsp @t0kyoreveng3rs @spencvrr @kmc1989 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @toobouquet @malindacath @sagittarius-flowerchild @senawashere @bradshawsprincess @smoothdogsgirl

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[rogueddie]

Creature Feature Steddie Fics

Important: READ THE TAGS! Also, leave a comment and kudos! These fics are amazing and I love them and I hope y'all do too 🖤

Who Embraces the Monsters

novemberthorne

"I'll never fucking forget you," Steve tells Eddie genuinely, letting himself feel all those vulnerable things he usually just swallows down.

Eddie just looks.

The black ink under his skin has spread into his face, and it's pulsing, shifting under the surface, moving like a living thing. It's seeped into his eyes, black bleeding into the white of them and starting to take over.

Then Eddie smiles, and it's a monster's smile.

"Go," he just says.

And despite every cell in his body rioting against it, Steve leaves.

Words : 10,373 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Mature

AO3 : x

Cassiopeia, Orion, Bootes

AidaRonan

When Steve finds the flyer for Bayou Bobby's midnight swamp tours, he's excited to finally get the opportunity to do something interesting on his work trip to New Orleans. Until he finds out he's human bait for something that lives in the swamp. Something with claws and scales and eyes that glow red in the moonlight.

Words : 10,780 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

and the ships are left to rust

severaldragons

There is something strange in Lovers Lake, and Eddie Munson is a sucker of the highest order.

Words : 4,499 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences

AO3 : x

Don't Talk to Strangers (Cause They're Only There to Do You Harm)

montemoon

Eddie Munson decides to summon a demon, he gets Steve. What's the worst that could happen?

Words : 12,110 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Mature

AO3 : x

paradise by the dashboard light.

oaseas

Things were weird in Hawkins. The fields were rotting, there was something in the woods, and Steve Harrington's Beemer had a new problem every week.

Words : 154,035 Chapters : 8/8 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences

AO3 : x

Hic sunt dracones

Just_my_latest_hyperfixation

The day that Prince Steven Harrington turns twenty is the first sunny spring day after a seemingly endless spell of heavy rain that left the castle grounds drowning in mud and its inhabitants freezing and miserable in the inescapable dampness of everything.

But that is not why he will remember it so vividly for the rest of his life.

It is also the day that his father, King Richard, chooses to ride off into war with great fanfare, to strengthen the glory of Hawkins and expand its wealth and territory.

But this also isn’t why the day will be forever ingrained in his memory.

No, the actual reason Steve knows that he will not forget his twentieth birthday until the moment his heart stops beating and his eyes close forever is an entirely different one.

It is the day he finds the dragon.

Words : 99,706 Chapters : 15/15 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

I’m on the Hunt (I’m After You)

OhlioOh

Odd is Eddie Munson’s thing, acquiring knowledge of the esoteric and strange a core tenet of his personality. Yet Hawkins National Park had been one big, beautiful blind spot. Plenty of people visit, plenty of people vanish, and yet not a soul is talking about it.

Something is stalking these woods, and Eddie is going to be the one to find it.

If only Park Ranger Steve Harrington wasn’t such a giant, unfairly attractive pain in his ass.

Words : 16,362 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

Runnin' With the Devil

Monsterunderthefedora

Eddie "The Freak" Munson continues to live up to his name when he tries to summon a demon as a joke. Not only does it work but now he's stuck with the guy until he can finally decides what he's willing to trade his soul for.

Steve just wants to finish the job as quickly as possible but despite himself, finds he's falling in love with the mortal who summoned him. He knows this won't end well for either of them.

Words : 17,412 Chapters : 15/15 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences

AO3 : x

I'm Going Through Changes

Hawkkind

When Steve Harrington tossed all the kids up out of the tunnels to safety, knowing he'd be left behind for the pack to feast on, he had expected to die. One moment he was in extricating pain, begging for release, the next? He was waking up, dazed, confused, and impossibly alive.

Post rebirth, he's dealing with strange cravings. Not exactly his fault, but no good deed goes unpunished.

Now in this time of uncertainty, how is he supposed to explain to the local drug dealer that he is not in fact, tweaking out and or a murderer.

Words : 2,961 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

[noblebs]

🎈🥩 💋 🐞 🎸 preferably for Devilant but you can pick any!

oh Kraken I would never deprive you of Devilant lore :)

🎈 (balloon) - What does your character do at parties? Are they a wallflower or a party animal? Do they go with friends or alone?

it would take a lot of effort to convince him to even attend a party lol. I think he's simply too big and noticeable to succeed at being a wallflower, but he'd stick fairly close to whoever he knows, take advantage of whatever booze might be present, and wait for a good excuse to duck out early.

🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

drinking is kind of the big one. when he has someone around to talk to, he's generally pretty open and will talk things through, but it's been a while since he had someone he trusts like that

💋 (kiss) - Is your oc a good kisser? Have they kissed anyone before? Do they even enjoy kissing? What was their first kiss like in comparison to their most recent?

hehehe. he's never allowed sex or romance to be a priority in his life (it's very intimidating, much easier to just focus on The Job) so it has been a very, very long time. I think kissing itself he can take or leave, but the intimacy and vulnerability of being in that space with someone else he really enjoys.

his first kiss wasn't anything special: someone else at Annex who wasn't the person he actually wanted to kiss. as of the start of EWT, I don't think he remembers exactly who he kissed most recently because it was several years ago. so, both pretty sad for different reasons LMAO

🐞 (ladybug) - What does a perfect day look like for your oc? What do they do? Who do they see?

hmmm. it's got to be one of two things: one is that something terrible and supernatural happens and he can save the day, like his old self again when he felt like he had purpose.

the other would be more pleasant. what would do him the most good would be some company and a change of scenery; there isn't much of the latter in rural Iowa, but if he convinces Orion to drive they could make it to the Great Lakes or a national forest within a day. Just to hike, or maybe picnic, or sightsee. honestly, I dont know if that counts as "perfect," but for him its more than enough.

🎸 (electric guitar) - What’s your character’s music taste like? Do they have one or two artists they play on repeat or do they have a varied and eclectic collection of music? Do they like mainstream artists or prefer underground musicians? What genres do they enjoy?

he doesn't listen to music a whole lot; when he does he probably just turns on the radio rather than messing with vinyl or CDs. by and large he prefers soul or country. he probably doesn't pay enough attention to know many of the artists lol

[mskenway97]

I have prepared some information related to Dionesea: How does she spend her day to day life? Dionesea has been unable to communicate with anyone on Cybertron, she has tried to find a way but the technology here does not allow her to do so. She has allowed herself to try to understand the species of this planet, she keeps observing: how the birds sing sometimes she has joined them, how the foxes play among them but always run away from her when she approaches. The deer always spot her and run away. She is as careful as possible where she steps and tries to blend in with the environment despite her size. Does she miss her home or nearby cybertronians? Yes, she misses them… Since he became what he is now he hasn't heard anything about the group he used to sing with, he has memories of when they used to sing in the bars rehearsing and cheering up the younger ones. But partly he missed Orion Pax a lot, most of his songs are about how much fun they used to have in Iacon's salons, every time he saw her singing, the mutual company… The innocence they both had, her song changed to melancholy and how much she missed him. Has she ever approached a village or a larger group of humans? No, she usually does it is aware that their size, scare them in any case usually help humans who are lost and in any case do not have a safe place. It does not understand human languages, nor does it want to end up in conflict with them. Even if she has ever thought of keeping one of them to keep her company, but she knows that she would not be able to take them away from their home, no matter how lonely she feels. Does she have nightmares? Constantly, the experiments of Shockwave, left her quite a lot of sequels, especially being used with a weapon that her voice attracts to death many of the cybertronians, seeing all those destroyed bodies around her makes her wake up startled and hugging herself to calm down. There are times when the scenery of the fireflies in the lake helps her to calm down. Has she decided to try to move from there or explore other areas? She has even done it several times, the places she has tried to stay, people have fled from there, or tried to attack her. She decided to stay in the forest for her safety and not to cause any more damage. But she would like to see more of Earth. Does she know about the status of the great war? She doesn't know if the Decepticons or Autobots have won, she didn't know if she could return home without ending up trapped in a lab again or being kept in a zoo as a specimen or being feared by everyone who looks at her… It was one of the many questions she asked herself every time she remembered home.

[ghostly-hitch-hiker]

Speedrunning Puberty and All Its Cons. Chapter 2: Exit, Pursued by a Bear

a< start << previous / next >>  | AO3 Update

Surprise! Update time! The chapter title doesn’t make much sense with the content because I got attached to the title and then wrote something different than I’d intended originally. Enjoy if you can! Warning for mention of intercostal muscles because I think about them too much apparently. Oh, and blood. There is also blood.

He didn’t notice the city at first so much as the ocean it coasted. He’d seen the Great Lakes before. Hell, he’d even flown over Duluth during a family trip to star gaze, but he’d ended up spending half of his time staring at Lake Superior from the air. He’d never seen so much water stretch so far before, and even floating high above the water of Lake Superior, the far shore and Canada still looked so small and far away.

Danny had never been to the east coast before, and he found himself staring out across the Atlantic Ocean and wondering how it could possibly ever end. It was almost the same exact feeling he got when staring up into the sky at night. The universe was so impossibly big, and somehow the ocean made him feel so much smaller. It was too much water. Too much mass with which to drown. 

Something dripped down his arm, bringing him back to his body—his too big and old and awkward body. Danny was used to the absence of substance that came with being a ghost, but he was heavier than he should have been then. He couldn’t tell if it was him sinking towards the city or if the rooftops of Gotham were rising to meet him. Eat him. He wasn’t sure when his eyes closed.

“When I heard your oaf of a father boast about a ‘last minute exchange program,’ I knew you’d done something, Daniel,” Vlad drawled. “I will admit, this is not what I expected.”

“Vlad, I’m really not in the mood.”

“Did your parents really not recognize their darling Dannyboy?”

“Does Voltasia actually exist?”

“Hmmm. What did they say when they saw you? No ‘blasted ghost’ talk? I was quite surprised by the lack of blast marks around the living room when I popped by earlier.”

“They’ve had an unusually good week. We got to flip the ‘Days since accident’ sign in the lab to five for the first time in eight months.”

“I take it Madeleine finally toddler proof the lab for Jack then?”

“If anyone did that, it would be Jazz.” A pause. “Dad thought I was some long lost Fenton cousin. When I tried to tell him and Mom that it was me, they just laughed. ‘Great name, Danny!” Danny grunted in a bad approximation of his father’s voice. “‘That’s my son’s name!’”

“And Madeleine?”

“Always good to meet another Fenton! Especially a Danny! Did you go to the University of Minnesota as well?” he pitched his voice higher, leaning into the midwestern accent.

“I see.”

Next thing Danny knew was the gravel under his back. He opened his eyes to a smoggy sky with the faintest glimmer of starlight through wispy gaps in the cloud layer. Maybe he could catch Orion if the wind shifted. He grunted and sat up slowly, aware of the blood dripping from his arm before the wound on his shoulder. Right. That. 

The water tower to his left was dented, and he saw a blood spatter in the dent and another one in the gravel six feet away. He’s bounced. It didn’t take a detective to put together that something heavy and bloody had hit the water tower, and Danny was unfortunately in a city full of detectives. He groaned when he tried to stand. The blood on the water tower wasn’t green, so he had transformed somewhere in the air then. No wonder everything hurt. Just the water tower. No other reason whatsoever. 

Danny prodded his right shoulder to check whether any of the rooftop gravel had made its way into the flayed layers of skin, and picked out the biggest pieces he could find. There were cons to growing up too fast, he had been discovering. The shoulder wound was the result of a ghost related one. Turns out that since Danny’s ghost form had ‘physically’ aged as well as his human, he could be engaged as an actual adult in the Ghost Zone. Apparently his status as a teen protector meant that some of his rogues had actually been taking it relatively easy on him. When Danny had run into Skulker on his way out of Amity Park, Skulker had gone all out. Exhibit A was a particularly pulpy shoulder laceration from a weapon Danny didn’t recognize. Exhibit B was a much neater slice between the ribs that had definitely severed some intercostal muscle. Sure, Exhibit B was probably the more serious wound, but he’d already had one foot in the grave before the fight. What was one more?

Wiping his bloody fingers on his sweats, Danny took stock of his surroundings. The roof he’d landed on was home to a now structurally unsound water tower, some bloody gravel, and a graffitied old door that clearly led into the building below. Beyond the lip of the building, the rest of the city stretched out before him in scummy grays and gargoyle gutters. Gotham looked positively dystopian, and Danny found himself reeling at the prospect of navigating a city so much larger than Amity Park by himself. A silhouette of a person flipped from a gargoyle to a fire escape, and Danny’s body moved almost before his mind had processed the implications.  

He was on a rooftop in Gotham, and he’d be damned if was found by one of the Bats on his first night there. A click and a sharp zing of cable unreeling. Metal bit into the brick at the edge of the roof. A Bat. He didn’t stick around to find out which one.

---

@mayoota-blog (I think) and @jotaroslooseeyebrowhair , y’all asked to be tagged in the next part, so here it is! The next next part is coming tomorrow!

[spacecasehobbit]

Just to start this blog off right (by which I mean establish the high likelihood that any original content posts of mine will consist at least 80-90% of me throwing random headcanons and theories into the void for a wide variety of fandoms with little to no prompting), I figured I'd make my first real post by adding my two cents to a woefully tiny fandom I have recently found myself dragged into by the power of excellent writing. I read the first book in Naomi Novik's Scholomance series recently, was immediately hooked and read the second book as soon as I could get my hands on it, and now I have to wait until September to find out how the series ends in Book 3.

It's a small enough fandom that I've also already checked out what fanfic there is for it on ao3, plus the fandom tag(s) on tumblr now that I've made this blog, and... I am surprised? That no one seems to be talking about what I assumed was the most obvious theory by the end of TLG? About Orion?

I see some theories that he's a mal, and I can see the logic for that theory.

But... I thought it was obvious that he's a maleficer.

To be fair, a maleficer who is likely on track to become a mal. A very specific type of mal, moreover. The type of mal that, currently, we don't know where they come from/how new ones come to be. The type of mal that all the other mals run away from, the type of mal that is constantly hungry, constantly seeking to consume whatever's in its path.

And yes, Orion seems to be largely a decent person so far who does care about keeping other people safe in a somewhat detached and impersonal manner, but even that fits. After all, this type of mal doesn't actually kill its human victims. In fact, it keeps all its human victims alive... forever.

[engie-ivy]

wolfstar prompt with the song little freak by harry styles?

(@jessiefleming First of all, thank you for introducing me to these songs! I didn't know them, but absolutely loved them and have listened to them so much afterwards. Which is also why this took me sooo long, I just couldn't come up with a fic good enough to do one of the songs justice😅 Still don't think this one does, but I hope it's okay! Sorry for the wait!)

Trigger warning: child abuse

Inspired by the song Mathilda by Harry Styles

Though Sirius Black was James' best friend and Remus’ first love, apparently he didn't think he owed them more than a phone call from the airport before leaving for good. Just a phone call, never an explanation.

Years pass with Remus thinking about Sirius Black less and less. Until Orion Black gets involved in a great scandal, and the fall-out reveals some shocking truths about the Black family, which put everything in a new perspective.

Leaving And Growing Up

Remus was sixteen when he last saw Sirius Black.

They were high school, and it was summer. Remus remembers how full of anticipation he had been. Something had been brewing between Remus and Sirius, and it had felt like there was some sort of unspoken agreement that that summer was going to be their summer.

And it all started so wonderful. Picnics at the park where they were sitting so close their legs were brushing, swimming in the lake with looks that lingered too long, Sirius riding his bike with Remus sitting at the back holding on slightly too tight.

But then there was the phone call.

“Hi. It’s me.”

“Sirius! What’s up? I’ve hardly spoken to you this week.”

“N- nothing much. I- I’m just…”

“Sirius? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, it’s all alright. I’m... at the airport right now.”

“The airport? Are… are you going somewhere?”

“I’m leaving, Remus.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“...why didn’t you mention before that you were leaving for the summer?”

“I’m not.”

“But you just said…”

“I’m leaving for good, Remus.”

“How… how do you mean?”

“I’m sorry, Remus.”

“But why?”

“I can’t… I’m not… I just have to.”

“Sirius, I don’t understand.”

“I’m sorry, Remus. I’m sorry.”

Remus had been a right mess after that. Sobbing when he saw a happy couple, curling up in bed with a stash of chocolate, listening to sad music or watching romantic movies that only made him more sad. In short, he had been a teenager who just suffered his first heartbreak.

Remus had crying and talking to his friends a lot. Mostly Lily. Whenever he mentioned Sirius’ name around James, he would completely shut down. He had, after all, been hurt in not quite the same, but a similar way. He and Sirius had been practically inseparable, and then Sirius had gone and left without an explanation or even saying goodbye in person.

But Remus was the one who had let himself believe there had been something more than friendship. After Sirius left, Remus had spent weeks trying to convince himself that he had misread the situation, that it had been all in his head, that Sirius simply hadn’t cared that much.

Now, the days when Remus thought about Sirius every day, when he could burst into tears simply because the sky had the exact same shade of grey as Sirius’ eyes that day, were far behind him. That’s just how those things go, you grow up and move on.

Which doesn’t mean there won’t always be something special about Sirius Black. You just never love the way you love when you’re in love for the first time, when you go in without any restraints and give yourself completely. After your first heartbreak, there’s always a sense of caution, always something you hold back.

Remus must admit, lately, he’s been thinking about Sirius Black more often. Though that isn’t strange, with how the name Black has been circulating in the news lately.

Orion Black and Lucran Lestrange, both well-known, successful business men, had always been business partners, and old friends on top of that. However, when Antonin Dolohov was arrested for fraud, both Black and Lestrange wanted to take over his company, and it lead to a massive fall-out between the two men. They became embroiled in a very public dispute, that was mostly fought out through the media, with both sides engaging in dirty smear campaigns against the other.

And people can’t get enough of it.

They can’t get enough of seeing the men, who always seemed so poised, so dignified, had such an air of being far above everyone else over them, sink so low as to publicly trash each other and air each other’s dirty laundry.

Remus doesn’t care much for it. To him, it’s all a bunch of rich people drama. He knows that it involves Sirius’ father, but he’s never met the man. Maybe that should’ve been his first hint that Sirius just wasn’t that serious about him; he never introduced Remus to his family.

Remus hears the door open.

“Rem, you home?” James calls out from the living room.

“In the study,” Remus replies.

He doesn’t look up from his thesis as James walks in. “Have you heard?” James asks.

“Heard what?” Remus replies absentmindedly. “Did some team I’ve never heard about beat some other team I’ve never heard about in some game I don’t know the rules of?”

“No,” James says, and the tone of his voice makes Remus look up. James looks solemn and his jaw is tight. “I mean the latest development in the whole Black/Lestrange situation.”

Remus makes a face. “Since when do we care about rich people drama?”

“No, I mean...” James shakes his head. “Never mind, you clearly haven’t heard, or you would know what I’m talking about.” James pulls out his phone, searches for something, and slides the phone over to Remus.

Curiosity peaked, Remus picks up the phone and starts to read the article on James has pulled up.

Respectable Family Man or Aggressive Abuser: The Dark Side of Orion Black

The public feud between Orion Black and Lucran Lestrange has just reached a new low. Yesterday, a document containing damaging revelations about Orion Black’s private life, now knows as The Black Pages, was delivered at several major media outlets.

The Black Pages contain documentation from Child Protection Services, classified police reports, and several medical files the oldest dating back approximately eight years. And to say that they that they place Orion Black in a negative light would be an understatement.

So, what do these pages tell us?

Overall, they paint a picture of ongoing violent behaviour from Orion Black towards his two sons, and especially his eldest son, Sirius Black, eventually escalating on July 27th six years ago to the point where the children, then aged 14 and 16, were removed from the house on police orders.

A look at the documentation from Child Protection Services tells us that two years prior to the escalation, the bureau had already received multiple alerts indicating potential mistreatment of the children. A teacher of Sirius Black, Ms M. McGonagall, alerted the authorities that she had noticed something was off regarding the boy’s homelife, a cousin, A. Black, went so far as to warn the authorities that her uncle was abusing his children, and also a nurse at St. Mungo’s Hospital blew the whistle after she had treated Sirius Black for suspicious injuries several times and did not trust the situation.

“Sometimes these warning signals are missed,” Bathilda Bagshot, forensic psychologist who holds a PhD in child protection and regularly advices the authorities on how to deal with difficult situations involving minors, tells us. “In a bureaucratic system, when different alerts come in from different sources and are processed by different people, in some cases they are not put together, and a potential harmful situation can be overlooked.”

However, according to the reports, no action was taken. Only when, on that July 27th, a violent altercation between Sirius Black and his father escalated to the point where the boy ended up in the hospital, the police was called.

According to the police report, Orion Black agreed to have his sons removed from his custody and placed in the care of their uncle and godfather, Alphard Black, who lives in France, but was visiting at the time, and offered to take the children. In return, besides having to pay a fine, no further charges were pressed against Orion Black.

“It could be that getting the children out of that situation was their first priority,” Bathilda Bagshot comments. “And once that goal was achieved, they decided there was no need for further action. Though the evidence of misconduct from Orion Black’s side seems so strong, that it certainly is strange he was not prosecuted and faced no further consequences. Though, the amount of money Orion Black paid the police force as his so-called ‘fine’ may have had something to do with that.” A spokesperson of the police informed us that they are looking into the matter and are not available for comment until more is clear about this specific situation.

While no one from Flucran Lestrange’s side has been willing to comment, it is widely assumed that The Black Papers come from their team, most likely collected by private investigators and bribery of corrupt employees with access to classified information, and spread in an attempt to further smear Orion Black’s name. “A successful attempt,” Bathilda Bagshot admits. “Though I’d say it’s a shame this public feud is being fought over the backs of these children, young adults by now.”

Editor’s note: At this moment, the authenticity of the files in The Black Pages is still being investigated

Remus looks up at James with wide eyes, all the colour drained from his face. “Is this... Is this true?”

“Like the article says,” James says. “They’re still checking the files on their realness, but... Well, it makes sense now, doesn’t it, Remus?”

“You’re telling me now? Like this?”

“I wish I could’ve...”

“You could’ve! You could’ve told me sooner! You could’ve said goodbye in person! Not like this, not a call from the bloody airport!”

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this, Remus.”

“Then why?”

“I didn’t want you to... I thought seeing you would be too... I’m sorry, Remus. There’s nothing else I can do.”

“It does make sense,” Remus whispers. “God, but it does.”

“Could we have known?” James asks. “Were there signs that we missed? Should we have known?”

Remus closes his eyes and allows himself to think back at that time like he hasn’t allowed himself in a long time.

Remus and Sirius riding their bikes side by side, their bikes shaking when they ride onto bumpy terrain.

Sirius grimacing and pressing a hand to his ribs.

Remus glancing over at him, “You okay?”

Sirius telling him “Yeah, just a little sore from football practice. No big deal.”

Sirius lifting his arms to tie up his hair, his shirt riding up revealing a bruise on his abdomen.

Remus asking “What’s that?”

Sirius smiling like it’s no big deal, “Just a little scuffle with Reg.”

The smile never reaching his eyes.

Remus opens his eyes and presses his palms against his legs to stop his hands from trembling. Like puzzle pieces falling into damn place.

Remus is still trying to process everything as he and James sit in his living room together.

“There were signs,” James concludes. “So how come none of it seemed especially alarming till now?”

“We were children,” Remus replies. “Moreover, we were children from safe, loving families who couldn’t even comprehend something like that even being possible. It just... would’ve never occurred to us.”

James doesn’t look satisfied with that answer, and to be honest, neither is Remus.

James shakes his head. “We were the closest people to him back then. Good god, he was like my brother! And I just allowed him to be on that situation.”

“It must’ve been so lonely,” Remus says softly. “Keeping all of that to himself.” Why? He thinks. Why didn’t he trust us?

Over the next weeks, it’s not only Orion Black’s name that’s been going around in the media, but also Regulus’ and, most of all, Sirius’. Remus learns what he never thought he would ever learn: details of Sirius Black’s life from after he left.

Sirius and his younger brother Regulus moved to Paris with their uncle Alphard, where they both finished high school without a problem, despite everything they had been through. Sirius studied Medicine, and afterwards, went to travel world, while Regulus actually came back to London to go to law school. Remus tries not to feel hurt by that, none of this is about him after all, but he can’t help the sting he feels at knowing that, while Regulus came back, Sirius never did.

“It has always been my wish to hold them accountable for what they did.” The young man is wearing a proper suit and his short, dark hair is neatly styled. He had a haughty air about him and seems calm and confident.

“But my brother wished to leave it in the past and keep it out of the media, and I have always respected his wishes. Well,” he says, calmly looking around at all the cameras and reporters around him. “It would seem that keeping it out of the media is no longer an option. As nothing is holding me back now, I am going to sue my parents for what they did to me and my brother.”

He now looks straight into the camera and a fierce shine appears in his eyes. “They will take responsibility and they will pay for what they did.”

Next to Remus on the couch, James shudders. “I would not want to face Regulus Black in a courtroom! Orion and Walburga Black should be very, very afraid.”

“Yeah,” Remus agrees. “I wouldn’t want to be them right now. I do hope he squeezes them for all they’re worth.”

The next time James walks into Remus’ apartment and asks “Have you heard?”, Remus has, in fact, heard.

Sirius has agreed to testify in his brother’s lawsuit, which means, that for the first time in six years, Sirius Black will be coming back to London.

“You want to what?”

“Talk to him,” James replies from where he’s pacing the room. “I have all these questions, Remus! Could we have known if we had paid better attention? Was there a reason he felt like he couldn’t tell us? Was there something we could’ve done differently? I can’t stop thinking about these things and I need to ask him.”

“I understand that, James. Really, I do, but he’s coming for this lawsuit, and to support his brother. He’ll need to prepare his statement and prepare for the confrontation with his parents, and there’ll be lots of reporters and lawyers demanding his attention. Do you really think that’s a right time to go and bother him with our questions?”

“It’s a horrible time,” James states. “But it’s also the only time we’ve got. The only time we’re going to know where he is at what exact moment.”

“And the rest of the country with us,” Remus points out. “With all the craze surrounding him, many people are going to want something from him. Do you really think they’ll just let anyone walk into the courthouse and knock on Sirius’ door?”

“They’ll let press in,” James states. “I am press.”

“You’re a sports reporter!” Remus argues.

“If I show the security my press card, they’ll let me in. They won’t ask if they can read some of my work first.”

“I don’t know, James.” Remus shakes his head. “An attempt like that sounds kinda stupid and most likely to get you in trouble.”

James grins. “Well, then it’s perfectly fitting for how it used to be with Sirius and me, innit?”

“Kinda stupid and most likely to get you in trouble?” Remus asks, and then blinks. “Well, yeah, I guess that does sum it up.”

Remus doesn’t fully comprehend James’ plan actually worked until James and he slip into the room and quickly close the door behind them.

Remus remembers Sirius was good-looking. Of course he does. As a smitten sixteen-year-old, he has spent quite some time thinking about just that. And if his memory wasn’t enough, the photos of a young Sirius the tabloids and television have been showing were a good reminder.

But even though he knows Sirius was handsome as a boy, Remus quickly realises he’s wholly unprepared for how absolutely gorgeous he is as a young man.

Sirius whirls around from where he was looking out the window, and Remus gapes.

Where Sirius used to be rather skinny (oh god, was that also a sign they missed?), he’s now lean and muscular. His hair is still long, and his grey eyes still have that same piercing gaze, but his features have gotten sharper, more elegant.

Another realisation Remus has when standing there, in a backroom of the courthouse, across from Sirius Black for the first time in six years, is that he has been so focused on getting here, not really expecting to succeed, that he hasn’t thought about what to actually say to Sirius. What if Sirius is actually mad? (You were supposed to be my best friends, but you never did anything to help me, to absorbed in your own lives to even notice.) Or, the worst possibility of all, what if he’s completely indifferent? (Okay, so we used to go to school together, so what? I’ve got more important things to think about right now.)

“Ehm, hi,” James says, and it’s clear he hasn’t thought this far either, though James is never one to think too far ahead. “I don’t know if you remember us-”

“Jamie! Rem!” Sirius seems to have shaken himself out of his stupor, and he flings himself at them, wrapping them both in a hug, one arm around each of their necks. “God, it’s good to see you! I was hoping to I would! I figured it’d be nice to have a reminder that there were good things here as well, y’know? I tried to look you up, actually. I found James is now a sports reporter, but no addresses. I thought about going by James’ workplace, but I was worried that’d be too much.” Sirius lets go of them and pulls back a little, looking at them uncertainly. “I was afraid you’d still hate me...”

“We could never hate you, Sirius,” Remus says, having finally found his voice. “But good lord, did we try! You suddenly left, and I was so hurt, and so, so angry. But then, all of the sudden, this whole story comes out, and now I don’t know what to feel anymore.”

“Yeah, mate,” James says. “I could’ve never imagined that when I would see you again, it would be in a courthouse after having sneaked in with an army of reporters.”

Sirius lets out a dry chuckle. “Why, James, you should’ve known I’d go for a dramatic reappearance!” Then he shakes his head. “But I guess this is all a bit much, yeah.”

“Mr Black!” A man in an expensive suit opens the door. He briefly frowns at Remus and James, before turning his attention back to Sirius. “Your brother requests your presence to go over your statement one more time.”

“Thank you, Bones. Tell him I’ll be right there.”

The man leaves again, and James shakes his head in wonder. “My, little Reggie Black has gained quite some confidence, hasn’t he?”

“He has,” Sirius says proudly. “But,” he adds with a frown. “Before it gets out of hand I will tell him that this was the first and the last time he has sent his attorney to fetch me. There are limits, after all.”

“You have a lot going on right now,” James says. “We should leave you to it.”

“What about coffee?” Sirius quickly asks. “Can we meet up for coffee tomorrow? Is The Three Broomsticks on Twelfth Street still open?”

“It is, that’s perfect!” James smiles. “We’ll see you there at eleven!”

He turns towards the door, and Remus moves to follow, throwing one last look at Sirius, but then he sees the way he’s wringing his hands, how his shoulders are set, and the tension in his jaw. He’s nervous, Remus thinks, and before he has given it any conscious thought, he moves forward on instinct and wraps Sirius in a tight hug wrapping his arms firmly around him.

After a moment of surprise, Sirius hugs him back, and Remus can feel his tension melt away. “Something bad was done to you,” Remus whispers. “Something that never should’ve happened, and you no longer have to pretend it’s alright. You can now tell the world your story.”

When Remus pulls back, Sirius looks at him with an expression Remus can’t quite define, but some of the anxiety in his eyes has made way for determination, and he gives Remus a grateful smile.

Remus ignores the look James gives him when he joins him at the door.

Sirius is perfect.

He comes across as likeable and charismatic during his testimony, and when he speaks, everything he says seems sincere and he gives clear and coherent answers.

The next morning, Remus is sitting with James at a table in The Three Broomsticks, waiting for Sirius.

Waiting for Sirius.

That still seems so surreal, Remus can barely believe it, can barely believe Sirius will actually walk through that door and join them.

But then he does.

Sirius steps into the cosy café, which is immediately followed by staring, pointing and whispering from the other guests. Sirius looks around searching, and when his eyes fall on James and Remus, his face lights up in a bright smile and he waves.

Remus feels something stir inside him. Convincing himself he has moved on and Sirius Black actually never cared that much anyway, is a whole lot harder with the man being right in front of him.

“Hiya!” Sirius says cheerfully. “I hope I’m not late?”

“Not at all,” Remus replies as Sirius sits down. “You’re just in time. We already ordered some tea and toast.”

Sirius beams at him and it strikes Remus how he is so much like he was before. Just more handsome.

“So...,” James begins, as everyone has a cup of tea. "I’ve been thinking a lot about before, when we were your friends. It’s probably none if my business, but it’s just been on my mind, and I keep having these questions. I guess the most important question is was there anything we could’ve done? Any signs that we missed? Was there something we did that made you feel like you couldn’t tell us?”

“Goodness, no!” Sirius exclaims. “If anything, you were too great.”

James and Remus look at him in confusion, and Sirius explains. “When I was with you, it was the first time I felt like I belonged. I could pretend like all that, father and mother, their rules and expectations, like all that didn’t exist. If only for a moment, I could pretend. I guess I just didn’t want to taint the one good thing I had in my life by bringing them into it.”

Remus supposes that makes sense. “It were two different worlds for you that you wanted to keep separate.”

Sirius nods. “I wasn’t lying or pretending when I was with you. I was genuinely happy during those times, I need you to know that. It was never an act.”

Remus hadn’t realized how much that had worried him until now, now that it feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. Their time together had been real.

With the tension out of the air, they naturally fall into comfortable conversation. Remus talks passionately about his PhD project, with Sirius looking at him with his head resting on his hand and a small smile on his face. James tells Sirius he got Lily to agree to go out with him before graduation, and Sirius hands him ten quid, and James tells him all his funny anecdotes from meeting and interviewing famous athletes. Sirius shares stories about living with his uncle, who was wholly unprepared to suddenly have two teenagers in his house, but did his best anyway, and he talks about his experiences while traveling the world, James and Remus listening with fascination.

It feels like how it was.

After some though weeks, Regulus wins his lawsuit. It’s a civil suit, not a criminal suit, so their parents won’t be facing any jail time, but they need to pay some very significant compensation to their children.

Remus knows Sirius doesn’t care about the money. What matters to him is that an impartial judge listened to his story and said ‘This was wrong, no one had the right to do this to you, and you didn’t deserve this’ for the whole world to hear.

After the judge gave his verdict, Sirius runs towards Remus and throws his arms around his neck. Remus doesn’t know for sure what he whispered as he hugged Sirius, but it must’ve been something like “you’re so strong, so brave, I’m so proud of you”.

It’s only later, when they left Sirius and Regulus to finalize some paperwork and he’s sitting in the passenger seat of James’ car, that he realises Sirius ran past Regulus, his uncle Al, his cousin Andy, James, his attorney, everyone, to fall into Remus’ arms.

It gives Remus a strange feeling in his chest.

Sirius throws Regulus a party that night to celebrate his big win.

At some point, Remus and Sirius are standing outside on the balcony, getting away from the crowd for a moment.

“You know, I really I thought I could let it go by just putting it in the past,” Sirius says, looking out over the city. “Move on and live my life without thinking about it, go and see the world, pretend it never happened. But this... Coming back here, telling my story, confronting them,-” he turns to look at Remus “-not giving them so much power that they can keep me away from also the good things that I left here, this is how I can truly let them go, truly know that they won’t hurt me anymore.”

“You are so strong,” Remus whispers before he can think about it. “You have shown me such power.”

Sirius chuckles. “I’d think it’s more thanks to Regulus’ power of persuasion than my strength.”

“Not just now,” Remus says, shaking his head. “Also back then. I didn’t know the situation back then, but maybe that’s why. You’ve always been such a great person. Things must’ve been so rough at times, so cruel and unfair, but you never let that stop you, let them stop you, from being good. You always made people laugh, you were always ready to help others, and you always had this smile, bright enough to bring light to the darkest of days.”

“It was easy,” Sirius immediately replies. “To smile. Whenever you were around, it was always easy.”

Remus has to look away from the intensity of Sirius’ gaze. “I wish we could’ve somehow... stayed in touch.”

“I thought it would only make it harder,” Sirius admits. “To watch from afar as you and James carried on with your lives, not being a part of it anymore. And I needed to carry on as well. I was always acting the way my parents wanted me to act, as not to anger them, or the exact opposite of that, just to aggravate them. Either way, I was always acting with them in mind. Never just for me. I had no idea what I wanted, who I was. And when I was with you and James, it was like getting a glimpse of who I could be. Leaving was my chance at a new start, and to really learn how to do things my way, I felt like I needed to do be doing it on my own. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Remus says emphatically. “Not for leaving, not for doing it on your own. Not if that was what you needed.”

“I guess I don’t regret it,” Sirius says. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you terribly.” He lets out a laugh. “Good god, I was so in love with you back then!”

“You... you were?”

“Of course!” Sirius exclaims. “Surely, you must’ve known?”

“I...” Remus says hesitantly. “I’ve been convincing myself for the last six years that I had misread the situation, that it had all been in my head, so that how I felt afterwards changed the way I remember that time. Now, I guess it’s hard for me to see things the way they really were back then.”

“The way things really were,” Sirius says slowly. “Is that I missed you terribly back then,-” He reaches out and takes Remus’ hand. “-and have missed you every day since.”

Remus’ breath catches as he stares at Sirius. Slowly, he lifts a hand to lightly touch Sirius’ cheek, and Sirius immediately leans in to the touch.

It’s strange, Remus thinks, as he closes the distance and softly presses his lips against Sirius’. How it cost him months, years even, to accept that Sirius hadn’t really cared that much and to move on from him, but how it only costs a single moment to fall back in love with him.

[blue-writes-things]

“Mudblood”

Sirius Black x Reader | Fluff / Angst

“For once you didn’t want to set the place on fire, you wanted to set yourself on fire”

| Masterlists | Words: 2225 Warnings: Shitty parents, Walburga and Orion’s A+ parenting, swearing, feminine pronouns   A/N: I still don’t know what pov this is, and also world ‘law’ inconsistencies. Edited Blue Moon Archives

Feedback is always appreciated! - Blue

---------------------------------------------

You’re standing in a crowd of people talking shit about each other or blood purity, blah, blah, blah. Although you’d rather be listening to the other people at this ‘Pureblood only’ party that your mother dragged you to, then listen to her talk at you, ripping at everything about you because the ribbon you tied around the waist of your dress was red and gold.

You wanted to have something with you that didn’t make you want to set everything on fire, or maybe you could borrow some of those fireworks James and Remus made, or - you got snapped out of your thoughts of ‘justified arson’ by someone yelling “Sirius Orion Black!”

Oh shit- that was one of the biggest reasons you hated going to these things since Sirius had ‘family’ in this little clique, he was dragged to them. You always made a big effort to not let anyone at Hogwarts know you were related to these monsters.

Everyone but a few Slytherins knew you as a muggleborn, Including your friends, you knew you should tell them the truth, but something always stopped you.

So you spent these parties hiding from Sirius, seeing him in a room meant you went to another, or even just went to the bathroom for the whole event so there was no way he would see you. You wanted to tell him, so these things wouldn’t be as bad, so you’d have someone to talk to, but you thought that if he, or any of your friends found out, you’d be dropped as their friend and that was the worst thing that could happen to you.

As Sirius and his mother walked into the room, you went to the other room, but unlucky, Sirius saw the little bit of red in the sea of green, going after you, knowing that no one who went to these things would ever wear red. But he missed you by a second. A seconded that, to you, saved your friendship. You and Sirius ended up playing a game of hide and seek for the rest of the night before you finally got to leave.

The next morning when you walked into the common room to see James, Remus and Lily sitting on the floor watching Sirius pace in front of the fireplace talking faster than a snitch flies.

“Who broke Sirius?” you raise your eyebrows sitting next to Remus on the floor.

“He had to go to one of those pureblood parties and a girl was there” he sighs, you stiffen, knowing it was you

“It’s not about her being a girl! It was that she had a red ribbon!” he yelled, before dramatically falling to lay on the floor.

“What’s it matter that she was wearing a red ribbon?” Lily asked leaning on James, making him turn as red as the couch “No don’t make him talk again!” Remus half laughs, but was also being a bit serious (no pun intended)

“Because! If you were listening, no one at these parties wears red, it’s like poison to them, meaning this girl must have known that and chose to wear it, meaning she doesn’t think like them!”

“Sounds like your jumping to conclusions Pads,” James says, still red “No! Cause she also was basically running from me all night

“She sounds smart” You smirk “Either way, why does it matter?” “It means that there’s someone there who is also a Gryffindor, you guys wouldn’t understand…” He trails off, you wanted so badly to hug him and say, I know exactly what you’re saying

“Guys, I’m hungry, can we go to breakfast now?” Remus whines standing up, we all nod and agree getting up

“Last person there has to do Sirius’s homework!” you half yell making everyone run out of the room down to the great hall, once everyone gets there, Lily ends up coming last, meaning James will end up doing Sirius’s homework.

“How do you always get here first?” Remus says panting (pun 100% intended)

“Cause I remember all the shortcuts here” he grins

“I think that’s cheating and Sirius is disqualified meaning he has to do his own homework, all in favour?” Lily glaring but smiling at Sirius as everyone, but him raises their hand “You’re all sore losers!” everyone laughed sitting down and starting to eat.

About halfway through breakfast a bunch of owls come in, dropping everyone letters. You don’t pay too much attention to it, you rarely get letters, and when you do, it’s just your parents shouting insults at you. So when a letter drops in front of you it made you flinch. Noting it’s in a green envelope you shove it in your pocket. Sirius frowns but doesn’t say anything.

The group go about the day, having classes, watching James try to flirt with Lily, Sirius trying to flirt with you, the norm.

But after charms with Slytherin, you and the boys had planned a prank for Lucius Malfoy, he was bullying a first-year Hufflepuff, no one messes with Hufflepuffs and gets away with it.

Right as it was about to go into action, he got out of the way of the red dye about to fall on his plantation blonde hair. The group all groan, seeing Severus smirk as he leaves the classroom, you guess he told Malfoy about it but the looks of things.

“Watch it ‘mudblood’.” he smirks, putting ‘mudblood’ in quotations, he was one of the people who knew about you not being muggleborn, he said he wouldn’t tell anyone, but now he uses it as blackmail on you.

“Don’t call her that!” Sirius yells, going to pull out his wand, to hex him into next year.

“Y/N, I suggest you control your friend there, he does anything to me, I’ll tell your little group about your dearest mother and father. To be honest, I’m surprised you’ve kept your mouth shut about it for so long” he chuckles as he turns to leave, Sirius fuming about to go after him again

“Sirius. Just, leave it” you mumble

“Why! He can’t say that to you!”

“Cause we’d get detention and I have a…thing…I need to go to this weekend, and if I miss it, I’ll get bea- in big trouble….I’m going to the library I have homework to do, I’ll see you guys later” you rush off

“She’s not going to the library” Remus utters, both James and Sirius look at him funny “You can’t get to library from that way”

“I’ll catch up with you guys,” Sirius says going off after you

“Wanna go get lunch Moony?” James says after Sirius runs off

“Sounds good”

***

You reach the black lake, taking out the letter your parents sent you this morning, ripping it open and reading it. It was the normal ‘disgrace, worthless, traitor’ it hurts more than you expected, plus a reminder at the bottom that you’re going to another gathering this weekend.

You drop the letter next to you, hugging your knees to your chest, tears start falling. You sat like that for almost an hour before someone sat next to you

“Been lookin’ for you everywhere love” you look up and It’s Sirius “What’s wrong?”

He frowns looking down seeing the letter, and a green envelope, just like the ones his family sends him, he goes to grab it, but you snatch it away before he can

“What’s the letter say? It’s clearly upset you” he shuffles closer to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. Not thinking clearly, you say the first excuse that comes to your mind

“Mum just told me that, my aunt died,” you say not looking at him

“Y//n, I know that’s not true”

“What do you mean it’s not true! I just read the bloody letter”

“Cause this is the fourth letter in a row telling you that an aunt has died, you’re not very good at lying”

“You’d be surprised” you mumble so Sirius doesn’t hear you

“Come on, you can tell me anything, you can tell me the truth”

“You don’t want to know the truth, Sirius!” You snap at him running up to the castle.

You spent the rest of the week avoiding your friends, well Sirius, but he’s always with them, so it meant avoiding them too.

It was Saturday night, and you were at the pureblood party, and completely miserable. You go over and stand next to your father

“Couldn’t help but bring that ‘Gryffindor’ pride with you?” your father says looking down at you. You’ve never felt so small “Take that stupid thing off”  

“S-sorry father” you look down you taking off the red ribbon

“Disgrace” he mutters walking away

Not wanting to look as alone as you felt, you go outside though some fancy glass doors, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, for once you didn’t want to set the place on fire, you wanted to set yourself on fire, you felt cold, but not from the weather, from spending a week away from your friends, and re-reading all the letters your ‘family’ sent to you.

You didn’t notice, but Sirius had just walked in. He’s looking around for the red ribbon, hoping that ‘whoever’ she is, was here tonight, he sees the ribbon by the doors, smirking “fuckin’ finally” he thinks, once he’s outside he sees that it’s you.

“Y-Y/n?”

Your eyes go wide ‘well tonight can’t get worse’ you think, turning to him but not daring to look in his eyes

“How’d you get here? What are you doing here?”

“Same as you” You show Sirius the ‘invite’ to the party

“I-I don’t understand, you’re not muggleborn you’re pureblood? Why didn’t you tell me?” he frowns

“I didn’t want you to think of me as one of them” You look inside, you can practically hear them saying mudblood

You could see cogs turning his brain though his eyes as he was piecing it all together “All the letters were from them?”

You nod, pulling out a bunch of paper from your bag “Only letters I ever get” you choke handing them to Sirius He looks through them, anger boiling inside him

“They say I’m a traitor, pathetic, disappointment, disgrace, worthless, unloved, unneeded…I guess I am really” Sirius pulls you into a hug.

“You’re nothing like them, and you’re none of those things, I’m so glad I met you, I don’t know where I’d be without you… actually I do, I’d be in there bored outta my mind,” You hold him tighter burying your head in his neck

You hear Sirius’s mother calling him from inside, you pull away smirking at him, and spark in your eye, as if you weren’t about to burst out crying.

Sirius looks at you confused but smiling “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours”

“Well since we’re stuck here for a bit, why don’t we have some fun” you grin tying ribbon back around your waist

“I like the sound of that”

You grab Sirius’s hand and pull in inside to where a song is playing and people are dancing respectfully in pairs.

“Hey, Pads? May I have this dance?”

“Hey, isn’t that my line?”

You roll your eyes as you both go to where the dancing is. Sirius holds you by your waist pulling you close

You raise your eyebrow and Sirius winks at you “Do you know what personal space is?” smirking you wrap your arms around his neck, only making you both closer “Doesn’t seem like you mind” his voice drops an octave

“Who would mind being this close to Sirius Orion Black” Sirius looks down at your lips.

“The way my name sounds coming off your lips is making me want to kiss you,” he says sensually, smirking and pulling you closer (if that’s even possible) you bite your lip, flicking your eyes from his lips

“Sirius.Orion.Black”

He crashes his lips to yours, sending sparks through each other, it felt like it was always meant to be, but ruining the moment both your mothers are pulling you apart, saying things like blood traitors, despicable, etc, making you both laugh

“See you at school!” Sirius calls as his mother drags him out

“If we make it back!”

You both laugh, your mothers going off.

~ A few months later ~

You were taking a walk around the grounds finding Sirius sitting by the black lake holding a letter “Parents?” you say sitting by him, wrapping him in a hug as he nods

“Th-they disowned me…It’s like I don’t give a fuck, I hate them…but it still hurts”

You laugh a bit “You’re kidding right?” “Hm?” he tilts his head to the side as you pull a letter from your robes

“Got it yesterday” you hand letter to him He lets out a laugh “They disowned you too?!” “They couldn’t wait one day? So we can get disowned together?” you both laugh

“I love you, Sirius Orion”

“Now that sounds so much better coming from your lips” he has his cheeky grin on his face “Does it make you want to kiss me?” you smirk “It makes me want to kiss you forever” as he pulls you into a passionate kiss.

[embrassemoi]

𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L    Content: swearing, angst, no proofreading, filler? A/N: i hope your week has been great so far xx

【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | ao3 】

Chapter 35 ✷ Picture’s Up

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

James couldn't recall a time where he felt so drained.

He didn’t even think there was a word to encapsulate just how drained he really felt. Every day, there was a wariness that sunk and immersed itself so deeply within his bones that made it feel like he could hardly breathe.

Day by day, it felt like a part of his sanity was cracking.

Enervated, drowsy, exhausted, knackered, dead on his own two feet… he could go on.

Prefect duties were as dreadful as Remus had said they were and James regretted every time he ever made fun of him for it. It was miserable and karma never hit him harder. Monitoring detentions and rounds were tedious, the tests he had to grade were mind-numbingly boring; all forcing him to lose the little sleep he had.

And then there were the loads of Quidditch practices that once were fun, a way for him to exert his remarkable supply of energy, only became a bit of a nuisance with the overwhelming activities he was forced to juggle.

Working around Moony’s moon cycle...

And then there was the fucking Black family.

The mere mention of their names sent James into a spiral. He’d rather submerge himself into the Black lake and let the giant squid ink all over him than deal with them. But there he was.

He debated for a while, whether or not to tell Black about Regulus but refrained. He was far too stubborn to listen and could make matters worse.

James sighed, leaning into the couch in the common room, running his fingers through his hair.

“Potter.” The ring of Lily’s voice sounded through his ears. James turned around to look at her, feeling his heart accelerate.

“Evans,” he greeted.

“We have rounds in a bit. Don’t be late.”

James simply nodded, not having enough energy to put on a front.

And of course Lily noticed. She noticed his frazzled appearance and lack of energy. There was hardly any banter between them and Lily would’ve thought it was a miracle that his annoying self had vanished, replaced with timorous energy. But if anything, it was disquieting.

She bit the inside of her cheek, forcing out, “Hey, you alright?”

He gave a little audible sound in response. “Yeah. I’ll be there. I just need to make a few arrangements quickly. Meet you by the... Prefects’ bathroom?”

Lily considered him.

“... See you.”

James made his way out of the common room, slipping out the Marauder’s Map. He’d been tracking Regulus’ movements for the past few days now and the only person he went to was Y/N for any substantial amount of time.

He truly had no one else and it ruled out any potential bullying.

Walburga and Orion… Their treatment towards him shocked James. Golden boy Regulus, who would’ve thought?

But even with the Marauder’s Map, it was impossible to keep track of him. He never stayed in one spot long enough to catch, aside from the dungeons and Slytherin common room.

Everything regarding Regulus’ situation forced James to think strenuously. If he were to accidentally say too much of what Whiskers had told him, not only would Regulus close himself off to him, but to her too, leaving them with no clue of his well-being.

And it forced him to worry about Whiskers. She didn’t know what she's getting herself into… What if Walburga and Orion caught word of their friendship?

James shuddered, pushing away the thought. He didn’t want to think about what would happen to either of them.

He continued to watch Regulus’ name travel across the map before ascertaining he was close. He tapped on the map, muttering out ‘Mischief managed’ whilst bolting down the hallways. Each twist and turn exhilarated a nervous adrenaline thumping through his veins as he rehearsed a little speech inside his head.

Before Regulus had time to process what was happening, James had already yanked him back, disappearing into one of the secret passageways.

“What the — Potter?!” He squawked. Pushing him away, James saw the pure panic washed over his features through the shadows.

“I know we don’t have much time,” James rushed, “But hear me out.”

He made no attempt to move but looked around for other students.

“You’ll always have a home with me,” James said easily as if it was the most obvious answer. “With Bla — Sirius — living with me, you’re more than welcome to as well. I understand your situation and —”

“No,” Regulus leered, “I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” James challenged before easing up. “My family and I are more than willing to protect you, like how we’ve been doing for Sirius.”

And then it stayed silent for a while and he finally let himself take in his appearance.

“Regulus, what happened to you?”

Regulus’ head hung. “All I wanted was to have long hair.”

And then it clicked for James, but he was running out of things to say that were convincing and felt a familiar panic return.

“You miss him, right?” He tried. “I know he misses you. If maybe —”

But when Regulus’ mood suddenly changed, James knew instantly that he had miscalculated.

“Miss me?” Regulus laughed bitterly. “He doesn’t miss me and he has never considered me his brother. You, Lupin, Pettigrew — you’re his brothers.”

He could see the misty tears welding up in Regulus’ eyes and didn’t make a move to stop him when he stormed out from the passageway.

Once Regulus was free from James, he sprinted, blinking multiple times to prevent tears from seeping out. An ache burned inside his chest as he found himself diving into his bed, pulling the curtains shut.

Those unforgettable questions that plagued his mind for a year now played heavily in his mind, like his own personal film.

What made someone good or bad? What did he believe in? Was he strong enough to break from his mould or did he want to? And most importantly, what was he willing to do?

Blood purity…

Regulus closed his eyes. He wished life was a dress rehearsal and there were times to make mistakes and have do-overs without permanent repercussions. To get time to practice and refine life until he explored every avenue. Unfortunately, life had no room for anything but the final performance. Every stumble, every mishap or memory slip was presented to a live audience day by day.

Reopening his eyes, he had his answer.

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A few weeks went by and September was coming to a close. October came with beautiful colours and a chilly breeze.

It felt like every day, Y/N added another reason to be disgruntled and hateful onto her list. It had been a month since she’d last seen her mother and she refrained from sending any letters; waiting patiently to see if she would make the first move.

Nothing.

It was safe to say that it put her into a bad mood that morning.

The walk to Defence Against the Dark Arts with Lily was a quiet one and slightly uncomfortable. However, the uncomfortable bit was more on Lily’s end rather than Y/N who was too wrapped in her anger-induced thoughts.

These days, their lessons were almost exclusively in the Duelling room, filled with practical lessons. Especially today, she was beyond thankful for; eager to have an outlet.

But Professor Elway was unusually keen on inviting her to the Duelling sessions. She was almost as difficult as dodging Slughorn’s Slugclub invites. Luckily, Y/N liked Elway and duelling was electrifying. Even potion making, no matter how much she enjoyed it, was lengthy and mundane.

Mentioning their professor, she wasn’t there that morning when they arrived outside the Duelling room. The students lounged outside the door, taking out their books and wand while they waited.

Remus found himself drifting to her as they quietly chatted away.

“Like your sweater,” she said. In the background, she could hear Marlene and James yelling, “It’s a jumper!”

Remus smiled. “This old thing?” Pointing to the sweater that she knitted. They both giggled a bit; Remus leaned slightly against her, eyes lingering a beat.

“Sorry, I’m late!” Elway called out to them in a dreamy voice. “Everyone, follow me!”

Puzzled, the class looked at each other as they followed their professor away from the dungeons. While they walked, rude and unbearable, Peeves the Poltergeist floated upside down. Once he spotted Remus, he immediately drifted up to him, opening his mouth, no doubt about to hurl all sorts of names or songs at him.

Remus hardly looked at him, already taking out his wand and said lazily, “Waddiwasi!” at Peeves.

A wad of gum shot out from nowhere and landed directly on Peeves before he whirled back from Remus, spewing curses at him.

“Nice one! Ought to teach me that later!” “Almost feel bad for the bloke!” Both James and Peter said at the same time.

Elway had led them outside to a desolate area, free from a canopy of branches and leaves.

“Now, my pupils!” She sang. “You might be wondering, ‘what are we doing out here?’ Lucky for you, we’re going to be practicing a few spells and learning how to fight using other means during duels.”

Like most of the class, Emmeline was ​skeptical as she raised her hand. “I thought we weren’t supposed to use physical means during duels?”

“Precisely,” said Elway, walking back and forth in front of the class. “Couldn't have said it better myself. But you know who won’t give a damn?”

There was a long pause for effect.

“Your enemies.” She clapped her hands together. “Now, can anyone give us some ideas? How about… Miss L/N?”

Blinking a few times, she hesitated, not expecting to be called on. “Er — you can… take them from the legs?”

“Wonderful idea! I’m thrilled you said that! Does anyone else want to add on?”

Remus raised his hand, answering politely. “Using your arms — stretching them.”

Professor Elway nodded away happily. “Wonderful answer! Take five points! Like Remus said, stretching your arms out or boarding your shoulders, spacing out your legs can widen your defence range! Why don’t we try?”

She called Remus up first and Y/N could tell he was slightly nervous. He doubled down, making himself seem smaller by hunching over and made sure not to accidentally hurt their professor.

A couple of Hufflepuffs, Slytherins and then James, Marlene and Lily all tried; mimicking Elway as she let them knock her over.

“Most importantly,” Elway said, dusting off her robes free from leaves and dirt. She panted a bit, tired from being knocked down multiple times. “Never let the enemy strike first. You all did fantastically!

“Obviously, in any professional setting, you’ll be disqualified if you ever tried to physically attack your opponent. But you can still play dirty in a duel!

“The charm Obscuro has been helpful on several occasions. It blindfolds your opponent. Please repeat after me: Ob-SKOO-roh!”

“Obscuro!”

“Excellent!” Elway gave a little applause, filled with glee. “Another spell that I love is the Confundus charm. Y/N! May you please explain to us the purpose of the Confundus charm?”

“She’s calling on you an awful lot,” Lily muttered.

She nodded a bit. “It confuses your oppent. The varying degree depends on how much magic is put into the initial casting.”

“Perfect! Five points to Gryffindor. If you will tell me about Incendio.”

As she spoke, there was almost a switch that went off in Elway that made her incessantly happy that almost unnerved her.

“Beautiful! Now if you may, help demonstrate the spell?”

“I don’t want to hurt —”

“Trust me, you won’t.”

Then, Y/N felt a deep lurch of fear as everyone retreated against the trees, giving her a clear view of Professor Elway opposed to her, waiting to block her spell.

She took a deep breath in, pushing up the sleeves of her robes, she held her wand.

Professor Elway had a protective spell around her. “One, two, three — now!”

“Incendio!” Only meek sparks shot out of her wand. A few students snickered while her friends were seen trying to drown them out by clapping.

“That was amazing!” Peter called out.

“I wouldn’t be able to do that on the first go!” Marlene shouted.

“That was good! Try again! One, two, three — go!”

“Incendio!” Nothing noteworthy happened. It was embarrassing.

“It’s alright, try again!” Elway said, not letting her go yet. “Think about something that’s motivating!”

Y/N closed her eyes, inhaling deeply and pondered. What was motivating to her? Surely, the want to continue with magic after school was motivating. Or perhaps proving someone wrong?

Proving someone wrong…

She had a lot to prove to her mother.

Instead of her being motivated, a flicker of annoyance and anger flooded her instead. Sensing the change, Elway beamed, her wand held high.

“One —”

Her mother always prioritized everyone and everything above her —

“Two —”

Was never there when it mattered —

“Three —”

There was never much affection. The constant want to please, the low self-esteem made her feel worthless, unloveable, always wanting to run when she got too close — she caused it —

“Now!”

“Incendio!” She bellowed.

A loud crack rippled through the air and caused her to stumble back. A large blast of orange and red flames shot out from her wand. Scorching heat flooded out, causing all the students to jump back as Elway shot waves of water, extinguishing the flames at once. As angry as she had been, glee and pure enjoyment replaced that quickly.

Once the bell rang, the students gathered up their belongings, leaving for their next class. But Elway took a moment, calling out her name, asking that she stay back for a few moments.

James and Lily staggered behind, offering to wait as they talked quietly under one of the willow trees.

They were so civil these days…

“I would’ve offered you a cup of tea,” Elway spoke as she approached her. Her foot tapped against the ground, her eyes far-away, thinking thoughtfully with a sly smirk. “Has anyone told you that you would make for an excellent, excellent duellist?”

Her eyebrows raised and shook her head.

That only prompted her teacher to smirk, in a satisfied sort of way. “You’re exceptionally strong for someone with no experience.”

There was a smug tone to Elway’s voice and she couldn’t quite place what she was getting at.

“Did you know that any professional duellist would kill for your wand? Or even the slight edge you have against them with your talent?”

“Erm… no?” Y/N said. She wondered if Elway needed glasses because surely, she wasn’t referring to herself. “Professor… are you sure you’re talking to the right student?”

She laughed so hard that she had to clutch her stomach tightly. She ignored her question. “My dear, do you have any ideas of what you want to be when you’re older?”

“Not really.”

“I have a proposition for you,” she beamed, flicking her long blonde, almost silver hair out of the way. “Let me take you under my wing, make you into a proper duellist.”

Y/N blinked. She didn’t know what to say and stood there with her mouth gaped.

“Yes, you heard that correctly.” Professor Elway teased. “I’d love to mentor you.”

She sputtered, positively confused and flustered. “I’m not at the top of the class, I struggle with Charms, I’ve never had a huge interest in it — I don’t know the first thing about duelling!”

“That’s what I’m here for, no? And your skill is exceptional and I know a duellist when I see one. You’ve shown the last few lessons that you’re capable of casting very strong spells.

“And do you know what separates a duellist from the masses? Energy, emotions and power. What changed when I told you to think about something motivating? A powerful Duellist may only be out of sheer power and brunt force, but a well-rounded Duellist listens to every part of their body. Their wand, their heart, the emotions that cause them to fight.”

“But —”

Elway flicked her wrist, mildly interested in her excuses. “Anyway, off to your next lesson. Take some time to think about it,” she smiled, clearly not going to take no for an answer. “I’ll be waiting for when you finally agree.”

Both Lily and James took her arms, hooking it with theirs and walked to Potions. They were staring at her, lost for words at Professor Elway’s proposition.

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“Yes, Pettigrew.” McGonagall scolded rather harshly. “The essay is due on Monday.”

Peter averted his gaze, grumbling out a thank you before exiting her office. “Dunno why she’s so strict with me.”

“She wants the best for you,” James tried to encourage as they all headed back to their common room.

Y/N couldn’t care less as she thought about later that night. No matter how hard she tried, Slughorn wouldn’t take no for an answer and she was almost forced to make an appearance at the Slugclub.

Lily was so excited, running through their dorm as she got ready.

Marlene sulked a bit, folding her arms across her chest. She was quiet enough for Lily not to hear, but Y/N heard her clear as day. “That’s not fair. I want to be invited. I want to feel special too.”

“You’re more than special,” Dorcas cut in, rubbing a hand up and down her shoulder. “You’re a star, baby.”

Y/N ignored them, fiddling with a small tube of eyeliner, watching Lily excitedly going through her closest.

Luckily, not only would Lily be there, but Remus, most likely Regulus — however, she doubted they would be able to interact — and funnily enough, James was invited too.

Inside the actual party was decent, a lot better than she expected. There were still the uptight students who thought they were above others, or the Purebloods that judged her when she walked into the room, but it was bearable.

Y/N chuckled as she watched Remus throwback drink after drink, sneakily stealing a few alcoholic beverages meant for the adults. His movements were so discreet that nobody ever suspected him.

She covered her smile behind her glass.

“Hi. It’s been awhile.”

Y/N turned around, and there, Aldrich McLaggen stood wearing a little smile. He trimmed his blond hair to sweep nicely and his cheekbones hallowed out.

“It has. And congratulations, I heard you’re on the Quidditch team.”

“Yes! Chaser - taking over Bell’s position.”

“So… How are you?”

If it was even possible, Aldrich’s smile grew wide. “I’ll be a lot better if I saw your smile tonight?”

She didn’t smile; unimpressed and decided to sip on her drink.

“Yeah,” Aldrich began again, “Didn’t think that would work.”

“A pretty big miss.” She grumbled.

“But I’m getting to know how to impress you in the future.”

Y/N turned to side-eye him. “Hmm? How?”

“How about -” And out of nowhere, he reached behind her ear and pulled out a red rose, handing it to her. Much like a Muggle magician.

She felt a coy smile tug at her lips and forced it down, but failed. “Nice one.”

“Everyone! Please come down and sit!” Slughorn announced, calling to all the students.

He beamed, flashing his teeth. “Don’t hide away again. I’d love to see you again.”

She tilted her head at him, tilting her glass before making her way to find her spot at the table.

The girl beside her had frizzy light brown hair and large glasses that looked like they were from an animated children’s television program. She was draped in a colourful shawl.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.”

But the other young witch smiled brightly, although never quite meeting her eyes as she outstretched her hand. “Sybill Trelawney.”

She shook Sybill’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

But then Y/N took a good look at her and realized, “We’re in the same charms class, right?”

Sybill nodded her head, fingers tapping rapidly on the table. “For two years now. I sit a row behind you. And by the way, you're very pretty.”

She was taken back, a genuine smile spreading over her lips. “Thank you, you look lovely too! I adore your glasses.”

A light blush spread across Sybill’s face, her hand brushing against her glasses. Her eyes peered up for a second before averting her gaze. Y/N couldn’t help but smile, already enjoying Sybill’s presence.

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【 Next Chapter 】

© gotkindabored 2021. Do not repost or modify

[ridethewritings]

spending a day with the boys. (headcanons!)

request: hey, i got a request!! i know this is super like general lmao i hope it's enough to work with! but maybe some headcanons on how each of the boys would choose to spend a day off from band duties with the reader! thanks in advance, dude!☺️

a/n: thank you @glambby for being my very first request. i’m forever grateful! :’) i hope you like these headcanons! i may or may not have gotten super emotional while writing cliff's headcanons. </3

warnings: none!

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james hetfield:

- being with james, you knew you had signed up for everything that came with this package. you fucking knew that you were about to have fun when he brought out some liquor from your liquor cabinet.

- this living room sure as hell was big enough for the both of you to get drunk and dance around, singing the lyrics to some random music you put on the stereo.

- the drunken stumbles of the both of you sent you into a fit of laughter as you slowly crumpled to the floor. james would have a huge grin on his now reddened face, cheeks pink from laughter.

- there is nothing like getting stupid, silly drunk with james hetfield. you thanked whoever was in the sky that you two didn't have neighbors in close enough proximity to y'all. hell, you damn sure knew if you did that you'd be getting noise complaints.

- once you two calmed yourselves, james brought out one of his acoustic guitars. another thing you absolutely loved about spending time with him this way. he gets relaxed, and he plays whatever he wants, and you sit there with a glass, the last few sips of your liquor in it.

- god damn, this man can sing. listening to him sing was amazing. it always amazed you at how talented he was, and it makes you wonder how the fuck you got to this point, being with him, the love of your life.

kirk hammett:

- this boy and his horror movies. you like horror movies too? "new horror movie out! let's go to the movies tonight-"

- "kirk, honey, you just got home today. relax-"

- "this movie looks so good though, just look at it!"

- eventually you gave in, and to be honest, you looked at the trailer and unfortunately, it did look like a good movie. now you REALLY had to see it.

- at the movies, he lets you get all the snacks you want, and he gets some himself, and of course he's getting the largest bucket of buttery popcorn for the two of you to share. he wants to make sure you both have everything you possibly need so that way the two of you wouldn't have to get up during the movie.

- go to the bathroom BEFORE you get into the movie, too! just so you don't miss any of the movie. if you do end up having to go again, he won't be upset, but instead, he'd follow you out so he can make a soda run for you after because your sodas ran out.

- oh yes, reclining in the top row of chairs and holding hands between all of the snacks you both put out and started munching on, stealing little kisses from you every now and then.

- needless to say, you two had a blast, and when you went home, you both went to bed, your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat slowing to a resting.

lars ulrich:

- walking through downtown, checking out small shops, his hand was in yours almost the whole time. crossing the street, he would never let your hand go, he'd keep you near him at all times. this man is protective.

- the street was lit with dim street lanterns, and the brick sidewalks made ways for the people in town to get around easily. there was music thumping throughout the town from not only the restaurants, but a small music store you spotted.

- you ended up dragging him into the music store to look at the metallica records. whoops? and the first one you grabbed to look at was the and justice for all record, which you knew had a picture of lars on the back. "look at you!" you said softly, pointing your finger at the picture of him.

- your comments on the photo made him have to resist the urge to smile, his cheeks getting rosy as he let out a small and barely audible laugh. and thank GOD no one noticed that it was actually him, lars ulrich, in the music store as you were making your way around, looking at the metallica albums happily.

- as much as he loved seeing you excited, and seeing your happiness about his band's success, he knew it was almost time for the two of you to get going.

- you've both never been in this town before, and you loved it already. you loved the hustle and bustle of this small town, the sidewalks crowded with small groups of people every once in a while, which wasn't a problem because they usually kept on their side and passed y'all without hesitancy.

- it was great, until he checked the time, then he took your hand, telling you that you both needed to leave.

- mans really made a secret reservation to a really really great restaurant that was located in this town. that was why he wanted y'all to be here this late. you weren't complaining about the town, though. you loved the streets and the small stores. this town was pretty cute.

- when he led you towards a restaurant that you laid your eyes on when you passed it moments ago, you made an audible noise.

- the smile that appeared on his face told you everything. and you loved him for that.

- the restaurant smelled and looked absolutely stunning, and he knew you wanted to go there when you passed it before. and honey, disappointment was not a word in your vocabulary when you left that restaurant. you two had a blast, and in fact, that restaurant was now your number one favorite. that food was BANGIN'.

cliff burton:

- cliff would be the person to take you out for a ride in his car, and just park at a peaceful and quiet place that he knows won't have other people at. just a regular hangout place that only he knows.

- it's nothing too fancy, but it's a great place to just relax and get away from society. how he knew about this place, you have no idea, but you're glad he took you here.

- he'd probably smoke a small bit, listening to music on the car radio, and eventually he'd turn it up so the two of you could go outside and sit on the hood of the car, taking in the fresh air.

- he would let you rest your head on his shoulder, and smile when you point out different clouds and their shapes. stay out for a little longer and the both of you would be looking at the stars, the first constellation he points out, being orion's belt.

- if you were hungry afterwards once he'd taken you home, he would call and order in.

- being in cliff's presence was and always has been a blessing from the stars, and you were very very grateful to have him. he may be quiet and chill, but you love him for it, and it always makes you relaxed whenever you are able to spend time with him. no matter how you spend that time.

jason newsted:

- you found yourself mesmerized by jason's curly hair blowing in the wind while the top of the convertible was down, the two of you going 85 on the freeway towards the mountains.

- boy were you excited to spend time with him for the night in that cabin in the mountains, seeing the pictures of the cabin and the views online before you went and booked a cabin over call.

- well, you were not disappointed when you rolled up to the cabin. even the views while driving up the mountain were gorgeous. remembering the way jason compared the mountain to you, saying that the views were gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as you.

- he said that, and all you could do was let out a small laugh, and he noticed that what he said, was in fact cheesy. but it was okay, because you loved him.

- getting into the cabin, the first thing you noticed was the warm smell of vanilla and cinnamon. maybe from the candles, maybe from the brand new bottle of rum that you spotted in the small liquor cabinet, along with some small shot glasses that were tempered with the gentlest of hands in warm red and orange color.

- the rest of the night went extremely well, you both had a nice dinner, some drinks, and relaxed in the outside hot-tub that sat in the corner of the screened in back porch, which overlooked the mountains of trees, a lake in the middle of the valleys.

- sleeping with him next to you for a night had to be the best feeling in the world, being in his arms after he was away for so long. it really takes it's toll on you, and he knows it. every time he has to leave, he apologizes profusely, and you tell him it's okay, that it's his job. and hell, whenever he does have free time for you, he always misses you too.

robert trujillo:

- what can i say? robert is a romantic, much like lars. he will want to take you out, no ifs ands or buts about it. insist that you two should stay home? sure, but he’ll find a way to make it romantic. want to go out? you bet your ass he’ll take you wherever you want to go.

- if you want to stay home, he would definitely close the blinds and curtains, make the house dimly lit instead of all bright from the light outside.

- hungry? he’ll cook for you, and you better not get up to try and help him. and to be honest, he’d cook a slammin’ meal.

- if you’re cold, he’ll go and grab both of you a big blanket to wrap the two of you up in, just to snuggle and watch whatever you want. another giant teddy bear!

- going out on this day, he’d cruise around in the vehicle with you, giving you the reins for the choice of music. no complaints from him, not a peep, he'd just listen to you sing the lyrics and have a smile on his face.

- man is just happy to spend this day with the love of his life. he'd do anything to make you happy.

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Just A Natural Fact

Request: hii I was wondering if I could request a marauders sirius black x reader where sirius black, the reckless & loud marauder, has a soft spot for the kind & responsible reader. sirius' duality is thus teased by sirius' best friends until they too get to know her throughout the school years; amidst the slow-burn flirting & maturity, the rest of the marauders realize the the two of them balance each other perfectly & they too appreciate the reader's character & love for sirius. thx if you can! ♡ - @thisismiku​

A/N: Title - Paula Abdul - Opposites Attract. Thank you so much for sending in this request, I truly hope you like it and that I’ve done it justice. And I hope you don't mind but I’ve combined with my prompt for @dreamer821​ ‘s writing challenge. Congratulations, JJ - you deserve all 500 followers and more! The prompt I used is in bold! I’m feeling a little insecure about this fic if I’m being honest, I’m worried that it isn't the best that it could be so I’m so sorry if it isn't! Nevertheless, I do hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, immaturity, slow burn flirting/romance, sneaking out, fluff, bit of angst (but not a lot), use of she/her pronouns

Word count: 3.9k

First year:

It was hard not to miss the way Sirius Black climbed the stairs in the Great Hall to be sorted into his house.

It was hard not to miss the silence from his relatives at the Slytherin table when instead of Salazar’s house, he was sorted to into Godric’s.

Your sorting is over relatively quickly. Sorted into Gryffindor, you make your way to the table, sitting yourself next to the now silent Sirius Black. He picks at the food on his plate, not focused on the rest of the sorting until three boys he must recognise from the train, all sit with him.

“Are you okay?” You whisper. Glancing to your right, you see him nod once before plastering a smile across his young face, greeting the boys now sat with you.

They spend their first meal at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry laughing and joking as if they’re old friends catching up. You spend your first meal at the school silently worried for the boy next to you; wondering about the reaction from his parents.

From the sound of his laughter so close to your ear, it seemed that he was to make himself known to the house and your year group.

Sirius Black was very much your opposite in more ways than one. It would be a miracle if a friendship was formed.

Second year:

You begin to notice a pattern with Sirius Orion Black. He had made himself known already for being the class clown and prankster; acting aloof and reckless in the halls. He and his tight-knit group of friends had their targets for their pranks.

His personality was amped up to the maximum whenever he received a letter over breakfast. It didn’t happen often; once a month and you knew that it was from his parents. For a moment after reading, he would watch the table in silence, taking in the words that were no doubt written to hurt.

Then his head would snap up; a wide grin forming, and you knew that the following week would be full of mayhem and the screams of students on the unfortunate end of their pranks.

Second Year continues much the same as the first. You’re determined to do well in your exams; you stick to your timetable and ensure that you’re ahead on assignments. You’ve settled into your friendship group well, though they would admit that they often worry how much time you spend in the library.

However, it has helped, by the end of Second Year, you’re tutoring others in Potions and Charms. It all goes on your transcripts, but you’re happy to help in any way you can.

But despite all of that, you wonder if you could help the young, long-haired Marauder.

Third year:

Third Year begins much the same as your Second. You settle back into your academic routine after taking the summer off to enjoy the sun and relax with your family and friends where every so often, your thoughts drifted to long-haired boy who garnered attention as if it was going out of fashion.

A change in seating plan has you sat next to Sirius Black in History of Magic. Professor Binns changes the seating plan at the beginning of every year to keep with school policy, but he never truly enforces them so it’s odd that Sirius chooses to remain in his spot next to you.

You try not to think too much of it; focusing on the work each lesson, quill scratching away at your parchment as you note down facts on the Goblin Rebellions of the seventeenth century.

Sirius focuses for a while as well; making the odd note here and there until a wad of paper hits his face. Thrown by his friend James Potter, no doubt, as you hear his laughter from across the room. Sirius loses all focus then; instead, throwing the ball of paper between his hands for a minute before launching it back across the classroom.

It continues like that for most of the lesson, until the ball of paper is caught by Remus Lupin who smacks James on the shoulder. Remus doesn’t say anything, he rolls his eyes at James’ hurt expression before returning to his work.

A quiet voice interrupts your watching of the scene, “I hope we didn’t distract you.”

You respond just as quietly, “You didn’t.”

He smiles, “Good. I’d hate to pull you from your notes.”

From there, Sirius spoke to you more often. Greeting you in the Great Hall every morning, grabbing your attention in class. The Marauders would chuckle at him; not understanding his sudden need to be around you.

Every morning in the Great Hall, Sirius would receive a swift elbow to the ribs from James who would nod towards the entrance where you would linger for a moment before walking to your seat at the table. “You can relax now, Sirius. (Y/N) is here.”

Sirius’ head would snap up at the mention of your name. He smiles at you as you take your seat among your friends. One of your friends nudges your side, pointing down to where Sirius sits, whispering something in your ear. You roll your eyes at her before waving to Sirius.

A slow friendship begins to emerge; he’d seek you out in the library, sitting with you quietly as you studied. You would search him out in every class you shared, catching his eye with a smile which he returned toothily.

The friendship was new; you were still getting to know each other. The time you spent together was filled with whispered conversation about childhoods and hobbies. He’d sit and listen to your stories with a smile on his face; happy to get to know you inside out. There was something so inherently good about you – he felt drawn to your nature.

Remus approaches Sirius in the Gryffindor common room one evening. He couldn’t understand why Sirius had sought you out to be friends. You were both so different; Sirius was hurtling down the route of becoming the school’s bad boy – all leather jackets and smoking by the Black Lake. You were the epitome of kindness walking down the straight path of good grades and heading towards being appointed Head Girl.

Remus sits next to Sirius on the couch, saying, “(Y/N) is a good person, Sirius; she’s kind and responsible.”

“I know that. What are you saying Moony?” Sirius asks, an eyebrow raised.

“I just want you to be careful.”

“I’m not going to hurt, (Y/N), Remus. I want to be her friend.”

“I can’t help but be concerned. You’re so different, Padfoot. You see that right?”

“I do, but that’s why we’re going to work.”

Fourth year:

From the beginning of fourth year, your friendship with the Marauders began in earnest. Your social groups blended into one, and you didn’t feel as intimated by them all as you once did. They weren’t as wary as they once were; they weren’t as worried as they once voiced to Sirius. You spent more and more time with Sirius; your kindness had earned you his trust and his walls slowly began to crumble. There was something so open about your face and so kind in your touch that he couldn’t help but fall under your spell.

--------

A hand on your shoulder drags you from your dream. Before you can scream, a hand covers your mouth and a familiar voice whispers, “Lumos.”

In the pale light from the wand, Sirius’ grey eyes meet yours. They’re red-rimmed, but he has a small smile on his face. He pulls his hand away from your mouth, whispering, “Come with me.”

You shake your head, replying just as quiet, “Sirius, it’s three in the morning.”

His shoulders shake with silent laughter, “Live a little, (Y/N).” He stands at the side of your bed, holding a hand out to you, “Come with me… please.”

And there is something so vulnerable in his expression that you take his hand, grabbing your jumper and pushing your feet into your slippers.

In the light of the common room, Sirius looks over your outfit, snickering at the sight of your bunny slippers. You glare at him, tapping your feet, “They’re my favourite slippers, Black. They’re called Norman and Leonard; I expect you to be respectful.”

Sirius covers his mouth with his free hand for his other one had not let you go yet. He stifles a laugh, “I’m sorry, I won’t laugh again. They’re very lovely.” His voice breaks on the last word, and you rip your hand from his.

“Sirius, I don’t sneak out, so if you woke me up to make fun of me then I’m going back to bed.”

“No, wait,” He reaches for your hand again; happiness flows through him when you let him take it, “Come with me please, I can’t sleep.”

“You promise not to make fun? I don’t do this, Sirius. I follow the rules for a reason.”

“I know but trust me on this.”

Sirius doesn’t let go of your hand as he leads you through the portrait hole and through the school to the astronomy tower. You have to walk faster to keep up with his long strides but keep up you do.

He doesn’t let go of your hand upon arriving at the astronomy tower; neither does he let go of it once he sits on the cold, concrete floor, pulling you down to sit next to him.

The coldness of the floor seeps through your thin cotton pyjamas. You shiver from the feel of it. Sirius doesn’t miss this; he’s shrugging off his jacket before your teeth can start chattering.

“Here, take this.”

You’re enveloped in his jacket; the sleeves far too long for your arms to fit comfortably. You wrap it around yourself, enjoying the residual warmth left over from his body but also committing to memory the smell that is so distinctly him: leather, cinnamon, cloves and a hint of tobacco.

You knock your foot against his leg, “What’s the matter?”

“What makes you think something is the matter?”

“It’s not like you to drag me out of bed so late into the night so something must be the matter.”

Sirius smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, “Like I said earlier, you need to live a little.”

You huff, rolling your eyes, “There’s nothing wrong with being responsible, Sirius.”

“No, you’re right.” He mutters, eyes focused on a spot far away in the distance.

Sirius falls into silence; his mind further away than his body. He breaks the silence a moment later, “I got another letter from my parents.”

You take Sirius’ hand in your own, “Oh, Sirius…”

“They’re being themselves – comparing me to Regulus as if I don’t already know he’s the better son. He’s a Slytherin, for Merlin’s sake.”

“It’s a shame.”

“What is?”

“That your parents never took the time to know you.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because they would see what a wonderful man you’re turning out to be.”

Sirius rests his head on top of yours, “Thank you,” he whispers, voice choked with emotion.

There were moments in your friendship with Sirius that he took your breath away with the sheer scale at which he was able to feel things. In times like this when he spoke about his family, his brother, and his fears, you’re shocked at the implicit trust he holds you in. You would never break this trust; you couldn’t, it’d go against every cell in your body to do so.

So many wonder how the friendship works; so many wonder how two people as opposite as you are could be so close friends. They don’t see moments like this where Sirius breaks down his walls and lets you in. They don’t see the moment where your kindness and fierce loyalty to your friends comes shining out of you as you listen to his words and wipe away his tears if needed.

They don’t need to see it. It’s for you and Sirius to experience with your hand in his and his head resting on yours.

In the morning, he’s calmer and he’s breathing easier than he was last night. He’s grateful to have you by his side; you calm him down – you help find sense in all the mess of his emotions. You remain patient as he stutters out his problems and you listen to each and every word. You’re kindness’ incarnate, he swears.

He drops a kiss to the top of your head before sitting next to you at the breakfast table. Sirius doesn’t miss the puzzled and amused looks from the rest of the Marauders; he shakes his head at them as he piles food onto his plate. They’re his closest friends in the world, and they tease him relentlessly for how he’s latched himself onto you, but he couldn’t be less bothered. They don’t need to understand the friendship, but he’s grateful that they accept you without too much question.

Fifth Year:

As fifth year begins, and the pressure from OWLs begins to mount, you start spending more and more time in the library. You study for everything; going over topics you’re confident on whilst also revising the topics you aren’t certain on whatsoever.

You revise a lot with Remus, him being a calming presence when studying as he explains subjects in such a way where the panic leeches from your body and you feel you finally have a grip on it. He’s a natural born teacher. 

Sirius joins you some of the time, but his confidence over the exams has you panicking more. So he would meet you in the common room after, pulling you to one side to quash any remaining fears that your studying had not resolved.

He would finish his speech with a kiss on your cheek or your forehead that had your body heating from the touch.

It was a physical friendship; it always had been. Neither you or Sirius were afraid to show your affection through a kiss on the cheek or a hug.

But lately those touches started to linger. His lips would rest on your cheek a second longer than they used to, and his arms would hold you that little bit tighter as if afraid of the minute where he would have to let you go.

Your own feelings had changed; you had given your heart to the long-haired Marauder without even realising it. Your eyes lingered on him longer, noticing things you hadn’t before – such as the way he always had a leather band wrapped around his wrist, to ties his hair up should he need to, or the way that his nose scrunched up before he started to laugh in earnest. Your heart stuttered in its beats whenever he laughed. Your heart was his to break should he wish.

You didn’t know that Sirius was feeling the same. He thinks he fell in love with that night in Fourth Year in the astronomy tower, but he didn’t realise it until half way through Fifth Year when you caught his eye across a classroom and smiled at him so widely that it knocked the very breath from him. He’d given you his heart and he didn’t even know he had.

There was something simmering under the surface of the both of you. It had the flirting becoming more and more noticeable to your friends and the Marauders. It had teachers wondering if you’d finally gotten your act together and confessed.

Your friendship with Sirius was on the verge of becoming something more. It was if you were both performing a balancing act. Each holding onto the other’s hand, teetering on the thin wire, wondering which way you’re destined to fall.

-----

“You’ve got six down wrong,” Sirius murmurs over your shoulder; mouth close to your ear.

You huff, reading over the crossword clue again, “I’m absolutely positive that it’s right.”

Sirius’ finger points to the clue, “It isn’t Plantagenet.”

You turn from where you lean against his side. Raising an eyebrow, you ask, “How do you know so much about muggle royalty and history?”

He taps the side of his head, “I just do, love.”

You snort, smiling, “I don’t believe you for a minute.”

Sirius shrugs with a chuckle, “Don’t. Let your crossword be wrong.”

You frown, looking back down at the crossword, thinking over the clue. It takes a minute before it clicks. You shove at his shoulder, “Sirius! The answer isn’t wrong!”

He laughs at the angry expression on your face. “Sirius, you’re such an arse.”

You make to move away from him; to sit further down the couch from him but he grabs your hand as you start to shift, pulling you back against him. You glare at him, but the glare soon melts at the happiness reflected in his grey eyes. You stare at each for a moment, unaware of the rest of the common room. The only thing you’re focused on is him and his grey, grey eyes.

-------

James, Remus, and Peter watch the scene unfold in front of them. You shove at Sirius’ shoulder with a shout, but Sirius grabs your hand, pulling you further into his side. You both look at each other; staring into each other’s eyes as if there isn’t an audience watching.

The trio watch the scene unfold, and they each have the same thought: they’re perfect for each other, and they’re blind to it.

Sixth year:

On a Monday morning halfway through Sixth Year, Remus, James and Peter sit next to Sirius in the Great Hall with the intention of getting him to figuratively pull his head out of his arse.

“When are you telling (Y/N) that you’re in love with her?” Remus greets; always blunt when needed.

Sirius chokes on his drink.

“It’s pretty obvious, mate.” James states to Sirius’ dismay.

“Do you think she knows?” He asks.

James shakes his head, “No, she doesn’t. Are you going to tell her though?”

“What if she doesn’t feel the same?”

“Not possible.” James states as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

“Yeah, we watch you together all the time. (Y/N) looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky for her or something. It’s intense to watch, honestly.” Remus says.

Sirius frowns, “I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“Sirius,” James sighs, “I don’t think you could even if you tried. We’ve all watched you for the last month or so and if we didn’t think you were perfect for each other before, we do now.”

“Yeah?” Sirius asks, so much vulnerability in that one word.

All three nod. Remus pats his shoulder, “Go talk to (Y/N).”

Sirius leaves his friends in the Great Hall, making his way through the rush of students desperate to get to their first lesson of the day. He knows he’ll find you in the common room; having the first lesson every Monday off as a free.

You’re sat on one of the many red leather couches that decorate the Gryffindor common room, pages of parchment in your hands as you read over your revision notes for your advanced classes. Sirius sits next to you on the couch; you immediately change your position to make room for him on the couch.

“I didn’t expect this,” You greet.

Sirius grins, “I missed you at breakfast, what can I say?”

You laugh, “You’re a flatterer, Black.”

In the quiet of the common room, you find your peace with Sirius. His very presence calming your mind but sending your heartbeat racing with a single look from the corner of his eye. You had become used to the way he affects you; how a smile can leave you breathless and a wink can leave your skin overheated.

“I can’t keep lying to you anymore, (Y/N).” Sirius states all of a sudden, voice breaking the silence.

“When have you lied to me, Sirius?” You ask, worry evident in your voice.

“Every day since fifth year.”

Your hand drops into your lap, “What?”

“With every touch, every kiss on the cheek. I lied through it all. I didn’t want friendship. I wanted more.”

“What do you mean, Sirius?”

“I’m in love with you. This isn’t a childish crush; I know I’m in love with you. Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break.” He says; eyes blazing, hands on either side of your face, tilting it up to look at him.

“It has only ever been yours,” Sirius repeats.

Your hands cover his as you reply, “Just as mine has only ever been yours.”

He gasps; lips parting as he stares down at you. “Do you mean it?”

You nod, “It has been for a while.”

You gaze into each other’s eyes, letting the euphoria of your confessions wash over you both. One of Sirius’ hands leaves your face to settle on your waist, pulling you that little bit closer to him. The silence is deafening; it’s charged with a heady electricity.

Sirius breaks it with a whispered question, “Can I kiss you?”

Your nod is the only answer before his lips envelop yours. He controls the kiss, throwing all emotion into it. He’s felt this way for so long and he’s finally getting to hold you in his arms with the passion he’s felt for so long. You smile into the kiss, and it almost drives him to the brink of madness with the way you’re responding to him.

You pull away breathless. Sirius peppers kisses all over your face – on your cheeks, on your nose, on your forehead. Wherever he can reach, he kisses because he’s so damned happy right now.

Sirius holds tightly to him, staring into your eyes. “I’ll love you until my very last breath, and even after. If there’s another life after this one, I’ll love you there as well.”

Tears line your eyes at the beauty of his words; at the fact that they’re being said to you. You sniffle, saying, “Sirius Black: a romantic who’d have thought?”

“I pour my heart to you; I kiss you and you make jokes? I see how it is, I’ve been a bad influence on you.”

“Poor baby,” You coo, beaming up at him.

“I am. I’m hurt and I think you should kiss it better.” He says, grinning wickedly.

“Anything to heal,” You quip, smirking.

Sirius pulls you back in for a bruising kiss; taking control the moment your lips touched. He pushes you further into the couch; his body weight feeling perfect on top of you. Your hands tangle in his hair, eliciting a low groan from the back of his throat at the slight pull of your hands.

For so long you had wanted this man. For so long you had yearned for this man who was so distinctly your opposite in every way. It shouldn’t work, but as his lips travel to your jawline, you realise that it does.

It works perfectly.

Seventh year:

From the outside, they’re a pair you wouldn’t necessarily put together. Sirius is loud, and he’s brash and sometimes he doesn’t think before he speaks, but around you – he quietens, as if the constant noise in his brain finally settles and he can think straight. You’re quiet, kind and responsible – always there to help people, but Sirius brings out a side of you that enjoys a little recklessness, even if that is sneaking out to watch the stars or to view the castle at night or to make out in one of the lesser travelled corridors.

You balance the other. You help him keep control of his emotions; he helps you come out of your shell a bit more.

Those outside the relationship don’t need to understand it; all they need to see is two ridiculously happy people, each with a depth-defying love for the other - and that’s a natural fact.

*******************

General (HP) taglist: @the-hufflefluffwriter​ @obsessedwithrandomthings​ @kalimagik​ @summer-writes​ @lupins-sweater​ @slytherinprincess03​ @mischiefsemimanaged​ @soleil-amaryllis​ @masterofthedarkness​ @bforbroadway​ @chaotic-fae-queen​ @peachesandpinks​ @nebulablakemurphy​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @siriusly-addicted-to-writing​ @firewhisky-kisses​ @deafgirltingz​ @kylosleftbuttcheek​ @heloisedaphnebrightmore​ @harrypotter289​ @sprvpti​ @accio-rogers​ @potterverseimagine​ @figlia--della--luna​ @angelinathebook​ @dreamer821​

Sirius Black taglist: @cheapglitter​ @fific7​ @approved-by-dentists​

[beelsnack]

Obey Me! Boys and the Cute Date They Would Take MC On

Lucifer: “I feel like I don’t belong here.”

When Lucifer had mentioned that an orchestra was going to be performing, they had been so excited to go that they nearly vibrated out of existence. But now that they were here, that excitement had morphed into a heavy lump of anxiety hanging out somewhere between their heart and stomach.

Lucifer glanced down at the human with a raised eyebrow. “And what in the Three Realms would make you think that?”

For a moment, they were quiet, looking around at the crowd of demons dressed to the nines. Elegant silk evening gowns and smart tuxedos abound. Their black slacks and dress shirt made them feel so under-dressed that they might as well have shown up naked.

Lucifer, sharp as ever, pulled them closer and leaned down the speak in their ear. “You needn’t feel intimidated, my dear.”

“I don’t feel intimidated, I feel stupid.”

“That isn’t any better.”

They sighed, casting another look around the hall. Golden mantle pieces, an elegantly-winding staircase, chandeliers absolutely dripping with crystals...everything made them feel incredibly insignificant.

“Should I have gotten more dressed up?”

Lucifer chuckled. “So that’s what has you worried?” 

He lead them away from the entrance into the hall proper. “All of these demons are dressed the way they are because they must work at being beautiful. You, my dear,” he stopped in front of them, reaching down to carefully hold the peacock pendent hanging from their neck - the only piece of jewelry they wore. “Are the only one who is naturally radiant enough to wear my symbol. These peasants could turn themselves into pure gold and they would only shine half as bright as you do.”

They could feel their face grow hot enough to catch fire. They opened and closed their mouth like a fish, intent on refuting Lucifer’s compliment, but he gave them no option. With a deep laugh that they felt travel up their spine, he offered his arm to them in a move straight out of a Victorian romance novel.

“Now then, shall we go? You’ll love this orchestra, I promise.”

Mammon: “I can’t believe there’s street fairs in the Devildom!”

It was surprisingly similar to something you would see up in the Human Realm. Strings of fairy lights lit up the cobblestone street that was lined with all kinds of stalls. Food stalls selling a variety of things that probably shouldn’t be deep fried but are anyway, games of chance, craftsman selling their wares - “Don’t buy anything from that one, all of their crap is cursed and they charge a fee for removal.” 

“Come on,” Mammon clicked his tongue as the two of them wandered throughout the fair. “Did’ja think the Devildom was all doomed souls and torture chambers?”

“...Yes?”

The demon paused before shrugging. “Ya know, that’s fair. But we have an image to keep, don’t we? Can’t have the little humans knowin’ about our bitchin’ carnivals.”

“I’ll take the secret to my grave.” 

Somewhere a little down the street, they could hear the spinning of a roulette wheel, and Mammon immediately perked up. 

“Aw yeah, now we’re talking! Come on, human, you get to see the Great Mammon in all of his glory!”

A thin spike of fear ran through their body as Mammon grabbed their wrist and tugged them through the crowd. “Didn’t Lucifer ban you from gambling? Like, forever?”

“Whatever, what he don’t know won’t hurt ‘im,” they finally reached the roulette booth. “As long as I don’t lose and you don’t squeal, we don’t have anything to worry about!”

“Mammon, there’s a big, gaping hole in your logic there - “

“Have a little faith, human!” Mammon grinned and he slapped some Grimm down on the counter. The glint in his eyes was damn near predatory, and it sent a different kind of shiver down their spine.

The demon behind the counter chuckled gleefully as they spun the wheel. The crowd surrounding them hooted and hollered and shoved each other to be able to watch the wheel, but Mammon looked surprisingly calm. He stood with his arms crossed, eyes trained on the pointer at the top of the wheel.

If they hadn’t been standing right next to him, they wouldn’t have noticed him rhythmically tapping against the sleeve of his jacket.

It was almost imperceptible, but the clicking of the wheel appeared to be following the beat that Mammon was tapping, slowing as the pauses between beats got longer. Eventually, both Mammon and the wheel stopped...

Right on the number he had bet on.

The crowd groaned as Mammon collected his winnings, some hissing at him as they dispersed. The Avatar of Greed looked truly in his element as he flipped a Grimm in the air. “Told ya.”

“You were...using magic?” the human looked back and forth between the wheel and Mammon. “You manipulated the wheel.”

“Aw, man, I was hoping you wouldn’t catch that.” he sighed, pocketing his earnings. “Can’t ya just pretend I have incredible luck?”

“I will if you buy me food.”

“Deal.”

Leviathan: Going to the arcade on a Wednesday at noon was definitely one of Levi’s best ideas.

“Why does your aim suck so bad?”

“Oh, you are SO lucky this game doesn’t have friendly fire, Levi.”

“You couldn’t hit me even if it did.”

They were standing close enough that it wasn’t difficult for them to learn over and bump him with their shoulder. His grip on the orange plastic gun slipped and the virtual bullet went flying off into cyberspace. By the time he managed to correct himself, the zombie he had been aiming for was in the process of devouring the character on screen.

“Hey, what gives?!”

“Oops, sorry. My aim really sucks, you know.”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

Despite their dirty tactics, Levi still wiped the floor with them, cackling gleefully as their scores tallied up on the screen. "Beat that, normie!"

They pouted and blew a raspberry at him. "Jerk. I want a rematch!"

"You're on!"

Satan: If they hadn’t been in the Devildom for so long, they probably would have been scared out of their mind.

That being said, they had been in the Devildom for a while, and seeing an intricately detailed panorama of a demon cat devouring a person alive was only a little unsettling at this point.

“Wow, that must have taken a while,” they got up closer to the exhibit. “It’s like I can hear the screams of agony.”

“Apparently the artist spent a century just on the expression,” Satan came up behind them, slipping his hand into theirs. “It shows, doesn’t it?”

The Devildom Art Museum was having a special exhibition on Demonic cats, and of course Satan had managed to snag tickets for the two of them. They didn’t particularly want to know how he had managed that.

“So, where to next?” they asked.

“The next room has a collection of cursed cat collars.” Satan nodded his head towards the door. “Apparently there’s one that causes whoever puts the collar on their cat to choke to death.”

“Okay, but if there are any there that harm the cats we’re firebombing the place.”

Asmodeus: “See, I told you this place was cute!”

He hadn’t been lying. The little cafe was tucked into a little side street, and the outside seating provided one of the best views of the lake that they had seen aside from being inside the castle grounds. The moons were just beginning to appear as they sky transitioned from the dark lavender color that served as the Devildom’s “day time” into full darkness, and the reflection from the lake made everything sparkle like diamonds.

“How did you even find this place, Asmo?” they asked as they were seated by the host. “This is pretty hidden.”

“Didn’t you know, darling?” Asmo laughed, reaching across the table to weave their hands together. “Some of the most beautiful things can be found in the strangest of places.”

“That’s pretty, but it doesn’t answer my question.”

“I slept with the owner’s son.”

They couldn’t hold back the definitely-not-cute snort. “Yeah, that tracks.”

“I never pass up an opportunity to fuck someone who can cook.” he said sagely. “I want to be fed before I have to do my walk of shame.”

“Don’t you have to have shame for that?”

“Hush,” Asmo giggled. “Here, they have a human-safe section.”

Beelzebub: “I don’t know, Beel, this place, seems awful expensive.”

The conversion rate between human currency and Grimm sometimes threw them off a little bit, but anytime you say three zeroes it was never a good sign.

“Does it?” Beel glanced up from the menu to look at them quizzically before peeking down at the prices again. “Ah, I guess it would. You don’t have to worry, I’ll pay for it.”

“That’s not - “

The server arrived, cutting off their protest. From the sheen of sweat on their brow, the human took it that the staff knew Beelzebub and his famous appetite. Even just the appetizer was enough to feed a whole family. When the waiter finally turned to them, he had to flip over to a new page in his pad. He looked rather relieved when they simply ordered water and fried bat wings (which they had discovered early on tasted a lot like chicken wings and it was therefore their go to.)

When the server dashed off to place their massive order, Beel turned back to the human. “What were you saying?”

“I don’t...” they sighed. “I won’t be able to pay you back.”

“Why would you have to?”

They blinked, tilting their head. “Huh?”

“I don’t mind paying. Plus, I get a discount here.”

The human glanced around the fancy dining area. “This doesn’t look like the place to give out discounts.”

“A lot of places give me and my brothers discounts. Well, Mammon lost a few of his, I think.”  Beel shrugged. “I think it’s because we’re considered nobility? I usually leave the discount as a tip though.”

That explained the grin the host had on their face when they sat them.

They smiled up at him. “You’re so sweet, Beel.”

Belphegor: Nights in the Devildom were surprisingly peaceful.

Once you got past the ideas of torture chambers and crypts, the nights were just like ones up in the Human Realm. Quiet, lazy, and on clear nights, you could see the stars.

“Do you know what that one is?”

The human followed where Belphegor was pointing. “Hm...Orion?”

“Ding.” Belphie laughed. “I knew you would be good at this.”

In typical Belphie fashion, he had texted them out of the blue and told them to meet him in the courtyard at midnight. They thought about just ignoring him and going to sleep, but now they were curious. Which was probably the demon’s plan.

When they arrived, Belphie was laying down on a blanket he had spread out on the grass.

“Took you long enough,” he yawned. “I almost fell asleep waiting for you.”

“It’s only 12:02!”

“Bold of you to assume I can’t fall asleep in two minutes. Are you going to sit down or what?”

And that was how the two of them ended up cuddled next to each other and stargazing.

Belphie knew a surprising amount about constellations.He was able to point out which star was named what, and knew most of the myths that the constellations were named after. Unsurprisingly, listening to him talk was very soothing, and they could feel their eyelids drooping.

“If you want to sleep, you can.” he finally murmured, sounding close to drifting off himself. “We can keep each other warm.”

“...I don’t think Lucifer would appreciate finding us passed out on the lawn.”

“All the more reason to do it.”

[newamsterdame]

a deadly education is tone-deaf at best and racist at worse; not the cure to jkr anyone was hoping for

Harry Potter’s massive cultural impact means that we haven’t seen the last of magic schools set in Britain, and we probably won’t for a long while. In some ways, the fantasy genre’s response to Rowling’s work is tiresome. In others, it’s exciting—because a generation of readers and writers have grown up to bring their own perspective to the limits of Rowling’s work and push it beyond the limits of its author. However, if you’re looking for a transgressive magic academy book that interrogates the limited morality, inclusivity, and perspective of Harry Potter, you should put Naomi Novik’s A Deadly Education back on the shelf and keep looking.

A Deadly Education tells the story of Galadriel “El” Higgins, a half-British half-Indian sorcerer attending a magic school where the consequences of any mistake might mean sudden death. El is a loner by nature and circumstance, but walking alone in the halls of Scholomance might mean being attacked and devoured by one of the school’s monsters. This puts El on a crash course with Orion Lake, the shining hero of her year who takes it upon himself to save the lives of his fellow students, including a less-than-grateful El.

The set up honestly sounds pretty good—a prickly protagonist, a heroic rival-slash-love interest, a deadly setting, and the potential for deep lore in magic and world-building. Unfortunately, not only does Novik fail to deliver on any of the premises’ strengths, she also chooses to weigh her narrative down with reductive, tone-deaf, and downright racist details.

El’s particular class of magic relies on language. El speaks English and Marathi, and picks up Sanskrit, Hindi, Latin and Old English in her study of language-based spells. It’s a little uncomfortable that Novik lumps dead and defunct languages like Latin and Old English together with actively spoken ones like Mandarin, Hindi, and Spanish, but that isn’t where Novik’s faux paus end. El approaches languages like computer programs to be downloaded onto her hard drive. Despite languages being the basis of her magic, she has no personal connections to the ones she’s speaking. She views other students and their languages the same way, identifying groups of students as “the Mandarin speakers”, “the Arabic speakers,” etc. Novik seems clueless about the relationships between the languages she’s building her world’s magic around, putting Sanskrit tombs in Baghdad and declaring that the Scholomance has a library aisle containing all of India’s languages. (About 800 individual languages are spoken in India, fyi.)

This clinical approach to diversity extends from language into character. El doesn’t try to make many friends, and honestly it’s not hard to see her classmates don’t try to befriend her, either. She doesn’t describe her classmates as people—she describes them as assets. And while that could be explained away by the premise that half her classmates won’t make it out of school alive, and El needs allies more than friends to survive, it doesn’t make it any better when El refers to others exclusively by the language knowledge they offer her. A character named Ibrahim has no personality or backstory, but he conveniently pops up when El needs someone who knows Arabic. A character named Kaito is thoughtlessly grouped in with the Mandarin speakers. An Argentine character exclaims in Spanish when she’s excited or relieved. There’s an uncomfortable distinction between the languages that get written out in the text—Spanish, French—and the ones that get narrated away—a character exclaims in Mandarin.

Novik goes out of her way to let us know that the population of Scholomance is diverse. There’s a group of South and West African students (only one of whom is named, and none of whom are important). There’s a “civilized” enclave of magicians in Toronto who value family and human life more than other groups. One character might graduate and go to Bangkok, but he’s looking to secure himself a place in Shanghai instead. Naomi Novik really knows the names of cities on at least four continents, and she’s not about to let you forget it!

But aside from names, languages, and cities, Novik has given no thought to what diversity means, or who these characters are if they come from diverse backgrounds. El calls on “Mandarin-speaker,” Yi Liu, exclusively by the name Liu. Is Liu meant to be this character’s first name? Or her surname? El doesn’t call anyone else by surname, but Liu is a Chinese surname, one of the most common in the world. El’s father is a Marathi-speaker from Mumbai, but El has no personal connection to Indian culture. Her father’s family prophesied that El would be a destroyer, and other than that rejection El has nothing to say about India or half of her culture. She refers to her Indian relatives in clinical English descriptors (my father’s mother, my great-grandmother, my uncles), even though she is purportedly fluent in Marathi and should know words like Panaji, Aaji and Kaka. El says that her Indian family is from an old Hindu enclave, and yet they have djinn as servants. (Djinn aren’t a typical part of Hindu cosmology, though they are a significant part of Islamic texts.)

Making El biracial seems like an afterthought, not something that affects her character in any way. It just creates some truly unfortunate optics, like when El goes on a three-paragraph description of how unnecessary she finds showers and how dirty she is at any given time. El’s father died making sure her pregnant mother (and therefore, El herself) would live, and yet El barely thinks about him. His name is mentioned once in the entire book. El complains that (presumably white) British people “assume she speaks Hindi” or call her the color of weak tea. But her Indian heritage is a veneer placed on top of a character who is otherwise just a default white protagonist.

All this adds up to a character (and a world), that reads as nothing so much as colonial. El feasts on the languages of others for her own edification, power, and survival, but she doesn’t see her classmates as people, and she doesn’t see language as a living thing related to real cultures. And I’m given to believe that Naomi Novik holds the same views, what with how she throws around the word “mana” as part of her world-building without considering its roots and real-life meaning to Polynesian and Melanesian peoples.

However, nothing makes the cultural tone-deafness of this book more evident than this passage:

Dreadlocks are unfortunately not a great idea thanks to lockleeches, which you can probably imagine, but in case you need help, the adult spindly thing comes quietly down at night and pokes an ovipositor into any big clumps of hair, lays an egg inside, and creeps away. A little while later the leech hatches inside its comfy nest, attaches itself to your scalp almost unnoticeably, and starts very gently sucking up your blood and mana while infiltrating further. If you don’t get it out within a week or two, it usually manages to work its way inside the skull, and you’ve got a window of a few days after that before you stop being able to move. On the bright side, something else usually finishes you off quickly at that point.

El’s pithy commentary about imminent death aside, I have a hard time reading anything but casual and thoughtless racism from this passage. The nefarious and deliberate myth of dreadlocks being unhygienic (and by extension, Black people being endemically dirty) is pervasive to this day. And Naomi Novik decides to include this passage in a book that has no major Black characters, in which dreadlocks never even come up in any meaningful way, just to remind us that in this magic world of hers, dreadlocks are dirty! Monster insects nest in them! The consequences are death! There was no good reason to include this passage, and all it does is draw on inaccurate and racist myths and perpetuate them into a world where anti-Black racism is never contended with. Although, I suppose, why would it? El never has need of any languages from the West or South Africans.

A Deadly Education bills itself as a subversive, even feminist, response to Harry Potter. But just like J. K. Rowling, Naomi Novik is a white author who uses other cultures thoughtlessly to build her own magic world. Other cultures and peoples exist, but only to serve the aims and needs of white (or mostly white-coded) characters. Novik has no empathy, no care and apparently no ability to Google anything about the cultures she wants to draw on. And the result isn’t just insulting—it’s boring. The world-building in this book is as dry and dusty as any history written by 19th century British colonizers.

Using some foreign names and making your protagonist biracial does not shield your work from racism. It does open you up to more pitfalls in depicting other peoples and cultures, if you don’t care to look out for them.

It would be nice to close by saying that despite its flaws, A Deadly Education is an enjoyable book. But it isn’t. It’s just a badly-researched, emotionless story told by rote.

[slashhinginghasher]

Stargazing with the slashers

TENDER BOY HOURS

Bo Sinclair

You knew it bothered Bo sometimes (a lot of the time) that he couldn’t take you on a real date. Real dates required money and proximity to interesting things, both of which were in short supply in Ambrose. You honestly couldn’t give a shit - you had Bo, what else could you need? - but it chafed his pride, being unable to provide something that even pimple-faced teenagers could do.

He also got defensive if you ever tried to make suggestions, so you had to be sneaky about it. You’d casually mention how your sister’s high school boyfriend had taken her stargazing, had packed a little midnight picnic, and how it was one of her favorite dates, and if Bo got inspired, then it was obviously due to the powers of his mighty intellect and creativity.

(It had actually been your high school boyfriend, but Bo didn’t need to know that. He was a jealous man; comparing him to another guy, however inadvertently, would not end well.)

So now you were cuddled up in the bed of his truck, which had been transformed into a nest of blankets. Miles from the nearest town, there was almost no light pollution, and the night sky was as crisp and clear as you’d ever seen it. The two of you had talked about this and that, nursed a few beers, eventually winding up flat on your backs, a position you rarely found yourself in with Bo unless you were asleep or...

Ah, yes, there it is.

A touch of lips on your neck, hot but fleeting, sent tingles across your skin. Bo pressed a few more kisses to your neck and jaw before sucking on that spot that drove you wild. At the sound of your blissful sigh, he raised himself up on his forearms to hover over you.

“Bo,” you scolded teasingly, “you’re blocking the view.” He flashed his signature smirk, equal parts sexy and infuriating.

“I am the view, baby.” You groaned and rolled your eyes.

“Swear to god, Sinclair,” you grumbled, fighting back a grin, “one of these days I’m gonna kick your ass.”

But you didn’t complain when he lowered his lips to yours.

Jason Voorhees

Jason hated the lake, but he hated the idea of you wandering around alone at night more, so when you announced that you were going to go stargazing on the dock, he insisted on joining you. But now that you were actually there, you could tell he was starting to regret his decision a little. The sounds of chirping insects and the gentle lapping of the lake were almost enough to lull you to sleep. Jason, by contrast, was as stiff as the boards he lay on.

Your heart gave a painful little squeeze. You hated seeing him so unhappy. You almost wanted to tell him to head back to the cabin, but were afraid he’d think you didn’t want his company. Instead, you reached over and took his hand.

“See those three stars?” you said, pointing with your other hand. “The ones in a straight line? That’s Orion’s belt. He was a mighty hunter. So mighty that the gods put him in the sky to live forever after he died on Earth.” You felt Jason relax, just a little. Encouraged, you pointed to a bright star near the Belt. “And that’s Sirius, his dog.”

You pointed out other constellations and stars you knew: the Big and Little Dippers, the North Star, the Seven Sisters, Betelgeuse. You told him the stories behind their names, which were probably half wrong, but he’d never know or care. Soothed by the touch of your hand and the soft sound of your voice, the tension slowly seeped out of Jason’s body until all thoughts of drowning were replaced by the stars, and you.

Maybe the lake wasn’t so bad after all.

Asa Emory

Asa wasn’t doing a lot of things right now. He wasn’t letting the dogs spend extra time out of their kennel because the brush of their noses against your hands made you smile. He wasn’t thinking about how cute the way your furrowed your brow in concentration was as you pored over star charts and fiddled with lens focus dials. And he definitely wasn’t admiring how great your ass looked in those jeans.

Nope. Definitely wasn’t doing that.

He’d bought you the telescope on a whim, which in Asa’s world meant after weeks of research instead of months. You were something of an amateur astronomer; the intricate mathematics of orbits and light refraction escaped you, but you’d always loved the stars. Childhood trips to the planetarium, camping trips in the mountains, an epic road trip once to view a solar eclipse. The sky was your happy place. Asa was your happy place, too, but he wasn’t always around. The stars were, every night without fail.

You’d lit up like the sun when he’d set the heavy box in front of you with zero comment or explanation. You’d squealed and thrown your arms around him, and if you’d been looking at his eyes, you’d have seen something that almost looked like tenderness.

Now you were set up in Asa’s backyard, searching for Jupiter. It was trickier than you expected - there was a lot of sky - but excitement tempered your frustration. You had read the telescope’s user manual cover to cover - twice - and pulled up maps of the night sky from no fewer than four different sites. You never half-assed things you cared about, a trait that Asa both understood and admired.

“Asa!” you shrieked. “Asa, I’ve found it! You’ve gotta see this!” You’re practically bouncing with excitement as he peers through the eyepiece. “Do you see that little dot near the middle? That’s Io, one of the moons.” Asa nods, stepping back and allowing you to resume your admiration of the distant planet. As you continue to gush over the cloud bands, the Great Red Spot, the tiny moons, a faint smile appears on his lips. Perhaps he’ll start acting on his whims more frequently in the future.

Thomas Hewitt

“Mama? D’you think Thomas and I could have the night off tomorrow? There’s gonna be a meteor shower and I wanna show him.” You and Luda Mae are working through a mountain of dishes side by side at the kitchen sink.

“How’d you know it’s gonna happen tomorrow?” Luda Mae asks.

“It comes every year around this time,” you reply. “My daddy and I used to watch it every summer when I was little. I just thought Tommy might like to see it.” Luda Mae’s face softens. Playing on her motherly tendencies does that.

“Well, ain’t that sweet. Course you can, dear.” She shakes a wooden spoon at you. “And don’t let Tommy give you no for an answer. That boy works too hard as it is.”

-

The Texas heat is a lot more bearable when the sun is down. You and Thomas are propped up on the rusty hood of one of the wrecked cars that dot the lawn. He’d been confused when you pulled him towards the front door after dinner, but a sharp look from Luda Mae quelled any protest he might have made.

“Look!” You grab Thomas’s arm as a thin streak of white flashes across the sky. More and more meteors fill the sky, until they’re coming nearly every minute. You ooh and aah over the brighter ones, oblivious to the fact that your hand is still gripping Thomas’s arm.

Thomas, on the other hand, is very aware of your warm skin on his.

“This was always my favorite part of the year,” you sigh after a particularly bright meteor. “I always wished on shooting stars and there’s so many of them now, I figure if I wished for the same thing on each one, at least one of them’s gotta work, you know?” You glance over at Thomas and are once again struck breathless, this time by the intensity in his blue eyes. Your cheeks heat and you return your gaze to the sky, moving your hand away from his arm.

An hour or more passes, the silence between growing thicker with each minute. You’re beginning to wonder if you made a mistake, if Thomas really didn’t want to be here with you.

A large, tentative hand brushes your cheek with aching tenderness, turning your face back to Thomas. He seems to be steeling himself for something, and before you can ask what’s wrong, he leans over and brushes his lips against yours. The kiss is chaste, but it sets your heart racing, and when you lay a hand on Thomas’s chest, you can feel his galloping along as well. It’s an eternity and an instant before he pulls back, slowly.

“Wow,” you whisper with a smile as bright as a shooting star. “It came true.”

[vanchlo]

Fireflies

Blurb Synopsis: It was your first summer working at a sleep away camp, and you were feeling a little homesick yourself. That all disappeared when you met the counselor of your sister group, Harry, who is in charge of the all-boys cabin, Campfire. Your all-girls cabin, Butterflies, came to love Campfire and their counselor, and very quickly, so did you. You were afraid you had come to like him a little too much, more than friends typically do.

Genre: Camp Counselor!Harry, friends to lovers, fluffy, some nostalgic vibes, and romance. 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 6.3k words

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Music Inspo: Fireflies by Owl City I guess (click to listen)

*

You had been coming here for a good while now, already having memorized the placement of Ursa Major and Minor in the night sky. You found your way down the trail, past the sandy beach, and to the rickety wooden dock every night after lights out. The flashlight clicks off in your hand, but once you reach the pavilion you hardly need it anymore, the last licks of the bonfire lighting up the beach. A loon sings nearby on the lake, waves lapping at the shore, plastic shovels, and a few socks certainly hidden amongst the sand. 

The twist-off cap opens with a pleased sigh, and the refreshing cold beer is welcomed by your lips. Exhaling, your eyes float towards the pitch-black sky and search for Orion whose tall figure has escaped you for the last few nights. These nightly stargazing trips have become a comfort for you, your new home suddenly being a camp of youngsters, and your bedroom consisting of a tiny cabin that leaks when it rains and lacks air conditioning. 

You had just finally been starting to adjust to life as a summer camp counselor, and there was one significant reason for that. His name was Harry, well, is. He’s the counselor for the all-boy cabin, Campfire, and has been your sister group for your all-girl cabin, Butterflies.

Due to this, the both of you had been seeing a lot of each other as your cabins interacted often. Nearing the end of the first week of camp, and now anytime one of your kids asked to play with Campfire, you jumped at the opportunity. Although it mostly was due to seeing Harry, who had quickly become your favorite coworker, it was undeniable that your kids got along so well.

That was another thing, he was so good with his kids, and yours. There were a few girls in your 8s cabin who did a bad job of hiding their crushes on him, always hanging all over him. With no fail, every day during your shared swimming time in the lake, they were begging Harry again and again. Whether it was to throw them in the water, hoist them up onto his shoulders, or to build a sandcastle with him - they couldn’t get enough of him. After spending only four days with him, you couldn’t blame them, because neither could you. 

It almost shocked you how quickly you had come to know him, and became fast friends. After running into each other on the main trail on your way to breakfast the first day, you found him waiting by the large red pine near your cabin every morning since. He even had begun to save his sausages for you, and you always gave your banana muffin to him. 

Today, your groups had spent the entire day together, and so did you and Harry. The kids especially enjoyed your time on the paddleboards this afternoon, but you weren’t too sure about Harry pushing you off into the water every time you got the courage to stand up on it. The laughs continued throughout your hike in the woods that Harry claims he didn’t get your cabins lost on, but you knew better than to believe him when he began to nervously knead at his bottom lip with his fingers. Face painting may have been your favorite activity from today, despite the nervousness that tickled your body when his face was inches away from yours. He painted the most darling butterfly on your cheek, and he bragged about the banana you left on his for the rest of the day. 

The beer dribbles off of your bottom lip, gracing your skin flushed from the heat still sitting in the night air, and from thinking about him. Harry. Everybody loved him, even the other camp counselors, and especially some of the fellow female ones. You couldn’t help but notice how Porcupines and their counselor, Erica, had taken a liking to Harry. They seemed to be friends from last summer, but this was your first summer working here at the camp, and that fact alone intimidated you. It made you tell a white lie when Harry asked if you wanted to play board games with his group, or if he should hang out with Porcupines who live in your cabin neighborhood. 

Only after a week of knowing him, with four of those being camp days, and the others being staff training days, there was little he couldn’t do to dazzle you. Every night, there was a huge camp-wide bonfire. Not everybody joined, only those who wanted to, but ever since you claimed the upright log right of Harry on the first night, it had become your spot. He continued to amaze you night after consecutive night with his guitar playing, from Take Me Home, Country Roads to Wagon Wheel and of course, Wonderwall. More than once, you had felt his eyes on yours and found just that when you looked over at him, him soon winking with smiling lips.

Oh, those lips and all of the dreams you had about them. 

The lake water lapping at your feet hanging off of the dock does little to cool you down on this early June night, but after the train of thought that’s taken off, there’s little you can do to cool down. To make matters worse, your skin spreads with electricity when you hear a twig snap nearby. You don’t even have the time to ask who’s there, because the milky moonlight lights up features of a familiar somebody. 

“Care if I join ya?” they rasp, nodding to the section of dock to your left. Shaking your head ‘no,’ the wooden boards rattle and squeak with their heavy footsteps. “Y’know ‘ve seen ya sneak out, but neva knew where ya went, and now lookie here. I found ya.”

“Congrats, you finally won a game of hide-and-seek,” you joke, the dark glass wet against your shaky fingers as you hold out the beer to him. 

“Oh, shuddup. Ya don’t know how hard it ‘s bein’ tall when tha kids ask me t’ play hide-and-seek. ‘s not like I can hide behind a tree as easily as they bloody can,” he giggles, and clinks the neck of his beer bottle against yours. “Cheers t’ a great almost first week o’ camp, and here’s t’ many mo’.”

“Cheers,” you echo, the frosty beer doing little to move the knot that appeared in your throat the second he stepped onto the beach in front of you. 

Yes, here’s to many more weeks of camp with him- with Harry. 

*

Your stargazing nights dipping your toes in the water continued every night without fail. And night after night, Harry showed up with two bottles of beer. Sometimes, he beat you and you found him waiting for you. Other nights, you were early and brought wine coolers instead. Nonetheless, it became another camp tradition of yours, and neither of you broke it. 

That was until you broke your two and a half week streak one night, and not because you were sick or had a legitimate reason. No, your reason did feel legitimate, and it stung every time your subconscious drudged it back up. That didn’t mean you could tell Harry though, and you had a good reason for that too. A good reason was something he seemed to be missing, you thought, and you wished that you knew why.

*

Earlier that day, rain had been forecast for most of the afternoon, but instead of refreshing showers for the kids to dance in, a muggy heat had settled in the air. You couldn’t say that you weren’t complaining, because well, you were and Harry got an earful of it. He didn’t complain though, and lastly, yours ceased once your shared swimming time arrived. Lucky for you, your leadership staff had moved things around for your group to swim again later, after lunch. Seeing Harry in his short royal blue swim trunks not once but twice was rewarding enough, and so was when he stuck you on his shoulders, pulling laughs from all of the kids’ smiling lips. 

The incessant heat drilled at your sun kissed skin later that night when you had had enough of your humid cabin, settling on the first of the wooden steps. Your attention was drawn over to a nearby staff cabin when you heard voices and laughter, but you dismissed it as you decided to take a cool shower in the bathhouse up the hill. 

The voices grew louder amongst the cover of trees surrounding you, and as you hiked up the hill, you realized you were nearing their source. Almost immediately, you pick up on one of the voices, recognizing it seamlessly. You take a step forward at the inviting sound, but your foot stops in midair when you finally recognize the second voice. If that wasn’t enough to repel you, the appearance of them both outside a shaded cabin does it for you. 

There he stands with only inches in between the two of them. Harry, and fricken Erica, of all people. You’re not sure what’s going on, but quickly, you realize that you stepped in on something you shouldn’t have. You turn around hastily and begin to walk away, but you freeze in place when the voices plummet into silence. Looking over your shoulder, your suspicions are confirmed when a pang jolts through your body at the sight of his lips upon hers. Your limbs are unstuck now and moving fast and away from that tragic sight. You don’t stop walking until you reach the bathhouse and hear the loud bang! of the door slamming behind you. Thank God you find that you have the girl’s side all to yourself a few moments later, and only once you’re under the cold spray of the shower, do you let the tears fly. 

*   

You didn’t know what to do with the rest of your night once you swore off showing up to the dock under the stars that night to meet him. Instead, you took advantage of the spotty Wi-Fi to catch up on YouTube videos, but it did little to distract you from what was going on deep down inside of you. 

The next day wasn’t much better as it was still sweltering hot outside, and it was awkward trying to avoid Harry and his cabin, even though you and your kids had all become fast friends by now. Once you reached dinner, the worst of the day was over, and yet you wondered how’d you be able to do it all over again and ignore him. Even today, you weren’t able to fully ignore him. Your cabin was scheduled to bike earlier that afternoon before it got too hot, and in order to go biking, you had to have two staff with for safety reasons. You exchanged as few words as possible with him before and after the bike ride, but he still tried to crack jokes over your walkie talkies during the ride, seeing that the two of you were on a special channel, per the rules. It was obvious that he knew something was up, because neither of you had missed a night on the dock under the stars together, and last night you had done just that. 

It was difficult at first, sitting in your cabin last night once the clock struck ten o’clock. You had begun to squirm and a hot itchy feeling came over your body, filling you with guilt, but quickly it subsided and was replaced by something else when you remembered seeing his lips on hers. Fucking Erica, what did he even see in her? you had poured over at least a dozen times since then. She was always yelling at her cabin when you passed her, and when she wasn’t, she was on her phone and ignoring her kids. You were surprised that one of them hadn’t gotten hurt badly yet, seeing as she never paid attention to them, and it drove you nuts how Harry could have feelings for somebody like that. He adored his kids and yours, making you wonder all the more why things had to be this way. 

Your kids had complained all day, asking to play with Campfire, to hike to The Point with them or to do the low ropes course with them. Relent you did not, and only once besides the biking did they interact, and that was later in the day when it was time for cabin cleaning and so your cabins played together outside while you and Harry did the big cleaning jobs.

Regardless of how good of a job you had done at avoiding him today, you still felt his eyes on yours in the pavilion at lunch and dinner, and especially during swim time when you hung back on the beach. You just didn’t know how to talk to him normally again after seeing what you did, and you already knew the tragic effects it had caused for your friendship, and not just that, but anything more that you had wanted. 

*

Yesterday had seemed like a piece of cake compared to now, sitting in your cabin as the short hand neared the nine and the long hand neared the six. You had thought about sneaking over to your friend, Molly’s cabin, for the night but you passed up the idea after remembering she had started dating another counselor recently, and was probably somewhere with them. Quickly, what was starting to become one of the best summers was now turning into a dream turned nightmare. It all slowly drifted away when you finally succumbed to the exhaustion building up from your long day spent in the sun.

*

When you awoke next, it was already quarter to ten pm, and you weren’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. No, you quickly wished it was the next morning or anytime later than well, now. It was still too soon, and as you slipped on sandals to use the bathroom, the guilt found its way back to you. The only thing going for you was that you had avoided any run ins with him, or for that matter, anybody, on your way to the bath house to use the bathroom. This is why I shouldn’t down wine coolers when I’m sad, you tsked within your thoughts as the flashlight led you back down the path to your cabin. 

Cursing yourself for not turning on the fan before you fell asleep, you let the screen door of your cabin slap against the doorframe once you return. During your disaster of a day, you had also left clothes laying around, the beginning of what would surely become a colossal mess. 

“Y’know, yer not s’posed t’ eat in here, you’ll attract bears and racoons,” a voice drawls from across the room. A jolt rockets through your body at the fright, only to end in a groan. “‘s true, I swear it. One o’ me coworkers last summer had a raccoon in their cabin ‘cuz they didn’t heed tha warnings.”

“Sure,” you respond, picking up an empty Doritos bag that you toss in the bin, ignoring his eyes that you feel hot on your back. “What are you doing in my cabin, Harry? You do realize that you’re breaking a rule, right? ‘No counselors of opposite sex in another counselor’s cabin after lights out,’” you recite aloud, continuing to pick up more of the evidence from your prior night spent wallowing in your tears and choice of junk food. Well, last two nights, for that matter. 

“Bears seem much mo’ harmful than a simple visit from yer friend, I reckon.”

Friend, you say? you think silently to yourself before you can stop, accompanied by a scoff that falls from your lips for him to hear. 

“If ya wanna know, ya’ve been ignorin’ me all day long. Ya wouldn’t answer yer texts, so I had t’ go t’ some dire straights and pay ya a visit. So, why’re ya ignorin’ me, darlin’? Did I do sumthin’ wrong?” Harry ponders aloud, moving from his previous perch on the cloth chair in the corner to your bed now. 

“I wasn’t ignoring you,” you insist, picking up a pink Laffy Taffy wrapper to add to the handful of others. 

“Yes ya were, even tha kids in our cabins noticed. Mo’ importantly, ya stood me up fer our nightly visits on tha dock, not jus’ last night but t’night as well. Figured there must be an important reason ya skipped, looks like t’night ya fell asleep, but why’d ya miss last night?”

With your back to him, you try to swallow past the lump that’s appeared in your throat, but it’s next to impossible. The opportunity arises, and you take it and run. In reality, you tie the full garbage bag into a knot and enter the humid night once again. You can hear his heavy footsteps behind you. 

“‘m not done talkin’ t’ you!” Harry exclaims, the door slamming behind him as you walk down the trail blindly, knowing that the nearest dumpster is only ahead a few paces. 

“Shouldn’t you be hanging out with your girlfriend? Seeing that’s how all of the counselors here spend lights out time,” you retort, the bravery growing within you as the crickets sound from the tall grass around you. 

“What girlfriend? I don’t have one.” 

“Oh, so then why were you sucking face with Erica? That kind of thing implies a relationship, you know,” you spit in return, at last finding the dumpster in the near dark, and pitching the garbage bag into it. “Let’s see how good you really are at hide and seek,” you tease after hearing the plop! of the garbage bag falling into the dumpster. 

“I already found you t’day when we played,” he groans, but you can hear his footsteps following yours. 

Your name flies from his lips but quickly, his voice becomes far away as you dash down the trail. He calls for you, but he’s already lost you and within moments, you see the flickering light above the very cabin you’re looking for. 

His voice tickles at your ears as you slip in past the door, pressing it closed so it doesn’t make a sound. It doesn’t really look like how you had expected. Remnants of a clean, organized cabin remain amongst the clothes, shoes, and books strewn across the floor. A Fleetwood Mac poster dons a wall, leaving the others lonely in the small room. A blue quilt is tugged halfway up the bed with random shirts littering the striped sheets. Amongst them sits his Macbook covered with stickers, an open Marvel comic, and a journal thrown to the side, open to a page covered in messy handwriting. 

The squeaking of the door opening sounds behind you, accompanied by heavy footsteps and labored breathing. Taking a page from his book, you plop down onto the bed and are soon enamored by the vinyl stickers on his laptop. The knot appears again in your throat as you trace the designs on the stickers, letting them grow hazy through the tears filling your eyes.

“Me cabin isn’t a very good hidin’ spot, darlin’,” Harry murmurs from behind you, but you could care less, knowing that this is where you wanted to end up all along. 

“You probably don’t know this, but I’ve wanted to be friends with you since the very first day I met you. You had this contagious happiness to you that seemed to spread to anybody you met. No matter who it was or what kind of mood they were in, they always left you with a smile on their face,” you begin, toying with the unraveling edge of a sticker showing a Fender Telecaster guitar. “You can always make me smile, and I appreciate that so much, but I saw you and Erica kiss and I . . I can’t pretend that it didn’t tear me apart, Harry.” 

“Darlin’, I told ya, ‘m not datin’ her. I did last summer, fer maybe two bloody weeks.”

“Then why-,” you begin, until he cuts you off prematurely.

“She kissed me, not tha otha way ‘round, ‘m tellin’ ya tha truth,” he nearly promises aloud, words hurried and adamant from over your shoulder. 

You begin to nod your head until your ears prick up at the sound of one of your manager’s shouting from the trail a warning about being in your own cabins past lights out. Not wasting another second there crying on his bed, you scurry away without another word to Harry, even though you were filled to the brim with them. His face consumed with worry and questions was burned into your mind for the rest of the night. 

It was the very last thing you saw until you fell asleep. 

*

You were unsure of how to feel the next day, a Friday, and you found that it was all the more harder today to avoid him. First, your groups had art time together in the Art building, and then before you could stop it, your cabins began to play together at the nearby volleyball net when you and Harry were each cleaning up after board game time in your own cabins. It was hard to stay mad at Harry, you swiftly learned, due to him really laying on the charm and fun during volleyball with the kids. You thought it would be a good idea to avoid getting in the lake again later that day, but once again, he just couldn’t stay away. 

“Not gonna swim today, are we?” he asks, brushing away sand from your towel that you occupy before he sits down next to you. 

You suffice an answer with a quick shake of your head, grateful for the minimal cover of your dark sunglasses, hoping that they hide at least some of your secrets. 

“Ah, so yer still ignorin’ me, ‘s that right?” he hums, the weight easily heard in his words. No matter what you do, you don’t look at him, but as the seconds tick by, it becomes all the harder. 

You can hear the little drip drop of the lake water pooling off of his body, probably from the lip of his mustard yellow swim trunks scattered with cartoon pineapples. Despite the anger, your insides scream at you to finally look over at him, and the entirety of his wet body. You somehow resist, keeping your eyes forward at your kids dipping in and out of the waves. When you remember the revolting sight of him kissing her, it becomes far easier to distract yourself by counting the heads of your kids for the third time in ten minutes. 

“Harry, did you convince her to come and swim?” one of Harry’s boys from Campfire asks from the shallow end. 

“No,” he groans, just at your side, and when the boy asks ‘why’, he doesn’t hold back, “How am I s’posed t’ know? Ask her, she won’t tell me anyways. She’s all crabby t’day,” he retorts, getting up and brushing the sand from his legs before stalking off to sit on the dock. He sinks down onto the wooden planks almost in the very same spot that he would every night you’d find him waiting there under the glow of the moon and the stars. 

The sight of him making one of the tanned lifeguards laugh is worsened by your reminiscent thoughts. Wishes course through your mind hastily and unwarranted, including why this has to be so hard. 

* 

Every time the cursed image would float into your subconscious once again, you would bat it away with your imaginary stick. Slowly, it began to work, and by the time dinner rolled around, you were warming up to him again, or so you thought. In your place in line, you scoped out the empty seat beside him at his table, but by the time you had gotten your food, it was filled, and with another attractive coworker from the Bat Cave cabin. 

For the second night in a row, your place next to Harry at the campfire had been stolen away from you. This time, you hadn’t meant for it to happen, and that had only made the burn sting worse. 

Instead of staying to listen to Harry lead singalongs with his Fender acoustic sat in his lap, and with the lifeguard from earlier fawning over him from your seat, you skipped your first ever nightly campfire. Comments from your kids from the last two days found their way back to you and only made you wish you were somewhere else all the more. It had grown annoying the number of times they had asked you why you wouldn’t let them play with Campfire cabin or ‘why you and Harry weren’t friends anymore.’ One incident from earlier that day at the beach had almost brought tears to your eyes, and thank God you had remembered your sunglasses today if it had succeeded. 

You had finally let your eyes stray to Harry once he had forgotten about the cute lifeguard and dove back into the water, welcomed by his campers. One of your girls ran out of the lake, water dripping from every inch of her little body. She said hi to you and asked if she could sit by you, a question you didn’t have to think about. After wrapping her Moana towel around her, she fell onto Harry’s previous seat, and soon you felt her eyes hot on your cheek. 

“Why aren’t you swimming?” she wonders aloud, pulling the towel around her front and hiding her bent legs underneath it. 

“I forgot my suit.”

“Then just go and get it in your cabin,” she insists with a shrug of her shoulders, as if it’s obvious. 

“I don’t want to swim today.”

“Then why didn’t you just say that?” she laughs, letting her shivering chin fall onto her bent knees. “But you always swim with us, and with Harry,” the little girl named Zoey says, the question heard in her voice. This time, it’s a question you can’t answer as easily as before. “It’s not as much fun without you swimming out there with us, even Harry says so.”

Again, you’re lost for words and you think she may be able to tell. You attempt to pass the time by counting your children again, but it takes longer when they’re dipping in and out of the water. Just when you think that you have most of them, you lose track once they start to move. 

“I think Harry likes you,” Zoey declares aloud, and an amused scoff hums from your lips. Your insides battle for how much value to take from her words, both wondering what a kid could know and also aware of how smart and observant they actually are. “I think he’s super cute, but I’m not old enough to be his girlfriend. I’m only eight, so I think you should be his girlfriend. Do you like him?”

“I don’t know, I think he likes somebody else,” you answer with a contradicting laugh contrite with ironic sadness. 

“I asked him and he said he doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Zoey remarks, turning her head to smile up at you proudly with one eye closed shut, squinting at you through the bright rays of the summer sun. 

“Just what do you think you’re doing, Zoey?” you tease, turning your head to look at her, crossing your arms comically. 

“I don’t know,” she giggles, her thick and dark eyelashes clumping together from the lake water. Your hand wanders to her tanned neck dotted with freckles, laughs singing from her lips once your fingers dance across the crook of her neck. “Fine, some of us in Butterflies and Campfire are trying to get you and Harry to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We call it ‘The Fireflies Mission’ - you know Fire from Campfire cabin and Flies from Butterflies cabin. But it’s Top Secret so you can’t tell anybody I told you,” she reveals, raising a finger to her lips. 

A laugh peels from your lips until it ends abruptly, the words settling with you. The sentiment knits together within your mind and your heart comes to be involved, bringing forth the heavy warmth behind your eyes that threaten to spill onto your cheeks. 

“You guys are sweet, but don’t bother,” you say, sufficing for an answer with a dismissing wave of your hand. 

“No! You two would be so cute together, we all think so. We think Harry likes you, and don’t you think he’s cute? Come on, I bet you do,” she teases, bringing her revenge with pink chipped polished fingers crawling up your arm. 

“I do not!” 

“Yes, you do! That’s why you keep staring at him and his butt!” she insists, with a smirk missing a few teeth.

“Zoey, stop it!” you return, but your words quickly collapse into laughs that she echoes. 

“If you don’t tell him, then I will!” 

“Zo’, you don’t even know if I like him or not,” you approach sternly, but it’s wasted once a chuckle consumes your argument. 

“You so do, you two are always flirting! Just ‘cause I’m a kid doesn’t mean I’m stupid,” she argues, fire behind her crystal blue eyes. Her blonde eyebrows wiggle along her freckled forehead, wet pigtails swinging above her shoulders. “So, are you gonna tell him or not?” 

An answer escapes you, and when it does, she lets her towel fall away as she gets to her feet in a hot pink, one-piece swimsuit. Before you can stop her, her long legs dotted with bug bites, scrapes, and bruises sprint away from you. 

“Harry!” she exclaims, glancing over her shoulder to you, sticking her tongue out at you. 

“Zoey!” 

“I’m not going to,” she calls back, turning around and pulling down the white goggles over her eyes. You’re forgotten and she returns to her friend, Cammie, who’s searching for shells underwater. “Harry, I wanna be thrown in too!” Zoey continues, pulling on Cammie’s arm to follow until she’s jumping on Harry’s back where he’s crouched in the water. You look away, attention stolen by your name spoken on the walkie talkies. 

Little did you know, that within moments, Harry’s eyes were running over to you and all because of something a little birdy had said. 

* 

It was still light enough that you didn’t need your flashlight yet, the one each of you was given at the beginning of the summer, and the one that Harry had already lost little to your surprise. You could still hear his voice belting out Hey Jude at the campfire from down the trail, beginning the end consisting solely of na na’s. Slowly, the na na’s grew louder and louder, probably as Harry convinced more kids to join the terribly simple singalong, and one you had wished you were a part of. You wouldn’t want to do anything more, and yet, you knew why you couldn’t.

The reasons were shy and didn’t come to you when you asked, and with that realization, your feet begin to stray from your nightly walk to your cabin and to somewhere else. The blankets were far messier than before and now, CDs and more books joined their distraught mess. T-shirts scattered the floor and so did socks and bandanas, several that were familiar from donning his head of curls already this summer. All of the rules, both campwide and personal, flew through your head, and exited out through your other ear. You wished that so many other thoughts could do the same, but you felt yourself clinging to so many, and that you had begun to become okay with that. 

“Told ya me cabin isn’t a good hidin’ place when yer tryna t’ hide from me.” 

The voice surprises you, but not enough to bring you to turn around. You’d be lying to yourself if you said that you had hoped he wouldn’t have come. The one thing that does surprise you is the fact that what doesn’t come to you is any words that feel right, and as if they belong. 

“I don’t wanna fight with ya anymo’, darlin’. Tha kids don’t like it and neitha do I. Bloody hell, look at me soundin’ like a proper dad, already,” Harry announces, the second half claimed by an awkward laugh marked by the silence you give to him. “I dunno how many times I gotta fookin’ say it, but ‘m not with Erica, or anybody else fer that matta. Ya’ve become me best friend ova tha last few weeks, and ‘m sorry that that kiss ruined that, but I wanna fix it. I don’t wanna lose me best friend ova some rubbish kiss, a kiss that I didn’t even want or initiate . . Anyways, ‘m goin’ back t’ tha bonfire. I told ‘em I was jus’ usin’ tha loo quick, but ‘ll be waitin’ at tha dock t’night, and I really hope ‘ll see ya there . . . butterfly.” 

* 

An owl cooed in the distance, joining the nightly song led by the crickets and the frogs. Somehow, the heat still lingered despite the absence of the sun, and the humidity left a stifling feeling in the air. It made you wonder why you remained here, miserable from the humid heat and mosquitoes that pestered at your skin. The fan you bought for its five different settings beckoned you to return the second your cabin door closed. Now, a ways down the trail, you almost wish you’d never left. With each step, that begins to shrink away as a nervousness overwhelms you, propelling your feet forward. A yawn lingers on your lips as the rocks and dead leaves crunch beneath your steps. 

Curses fly from your lips when your eyes land on the empty dock painted with the moonlight. Your chest falls with a long sigh when you glance to your phone that reads 10:18 pm, almost an hour late. The emotions brew inside of you as you turn on your heel quickly, backtracking your steps.

“Didn’t think ya’d show,” a voice murmurs from the darkness, making you whip around to face the pavilion where it comes from.

“I fell asleep again, I’m sorry,” you confess with a heavy voice, laden with apologies and regret. Harry steps out of the shadows with his hands hidden in the pockets of his baby pink hoodie, only a few steps away and nearing you with every second. “Please believe me, I-.”

The explanation escapes your lips and also the air when he steps forward, lacing his fingers with yours. 

“I believe ya . . butterfly, ‘s okay.”

“And Harry, I believe you too . . . when you said you didn’t kiss her. I’m sorry it took me so long to,” you admit, the overdue words diving into the air to grace his ears. 

“Thank ya, darlin’. Now, I heard sumthin’ funny from a li’l birdy earlier t’day,” he smirks and it only grows higher when you take his other hand into yours. One corner of his mouth reaches higher up his cheek as confusion knits together within your mind. “A certain sumbody had sumthin’ interestin’ t’ tell me befo’ I threw her into tha water . . Sound familiar now?”

His growing grin fills your eyes as the puzzle pieces click together almost instantly. 

“Zoey,” you grumble from behind gritted teeth as his giggle sings in your ears. “That little liar.” 

“Reckon they’ve had it out fer us tha whole summer,” he smiles. “I told her that I bet I love her counselor mo’ than she does,” he confesses hesitantly, eyes flitting away from yours with a blush filling his cheeks. 

“Harry,” you begin warmly, squeezing his hands in between your clammy pair. 

“I only wanna do this if we’re gonna really give it a try, don’t wanna ruin our friendship or have tha kids pay tha price of it not goin’ well. So no mo’ ignorin’ me when things get tough,” Harry says, pointing his stern eyes at you, but you hardly notice because of the words he speaks. “No if’s, and’s, or but’s, got it?” he finishes, reciting his catch phrase he uses with the boys in his cabin.

“Got it,” you smile, feeling as if your lips couldn’t reach higher, but they do when his come to meet yours. They’re sweeter than you had imagined, and softer. The nostalgic smell of sunscreen clings to his skin, almost hidden by the strong scent of the bonfire you always smelled on him during your nights on the dock. The troubles from the last few days melt away upon his lips, and all traces escape when his arms come around you. 

“How bad d’ya reckon they’ll freak when we tell ‘em?” he wonders aloud after breaking the kiss, pulling you against his warm chest. 

“Wait, you think we should tell them?”

“Ya, we gotta, seein’ as their Fireflies Mission worked and ev’rythin’. We’ll just leave out tha part where we did all the hard work,” he snickers from above you, resting his chin on the top of your head. 

“How’d you find out about their mission?” you giggle against his chest, the tassels to his hoodie digging into your cheek.

“Cuz they’re not very good at keepin’ secrets, just like they’re counselors,” Harry chuckles, pulling one from your mouth as well. “C’mon, let’s go. I think tha beers I brought might still be cold.”

A soft ‘okay’ leaves your lips to meet the air as he pulls on your hand to follow him, the first grains of sand tickling at your toes as you ruminate on how you haven’t felt this okay in quite a long time.

All thanks to your special little firefly, the best friend to your very own butterfly.