#does not get it which can get really funny at times

[mindthelspace]

Thanks for this! It's explained what's going on really well.

Word of comfort to Germans from a British person (... OK I know, not a point in my favour, we Brexited like idiots, you're generally doing better than us. But still!):

This post sounded kind of familiar. I couldn't help but compare it to the fun and games we had a couple of years ago, where Liz Truss (a broken AI made by the ghost of Ayn Rand) got voted in as Prime Minister... and broke both the economy and the government within two months.

Quick highlight recap of that time:

Truss quickly releases an unfunded, unresearched budget that was basically her personal wishlist to Economics Father Christmas. Short version was that she was going to cut taxes, cut taxes, and cut taxes- especially for the wealthy- and pay for national infrastructure with Blitz Spirit(tm) and pixie dust. This budget immediately blows a £40 billion hole in the UK economy (because investors everywhere decide the UK's gone utterly mad), which in turn triples some people's mortages overnight.

As you can imagine, this makes her rather unpopular, including with her own Conservative party. She's been so much of an incompetent right-wing dickhead that the 'incompetent right wing dickheads' party are looking at her like "hey, hang on, what the fuck are you doing!"

TLDR Our economy has lost the plot and the government is infighting.

About a month after this, Liz Truss fires her loyal chancellor that she had, up until that point, presented a united front with. It's blatantly to try and save her career. It doesn't work.

Liz Truss disappears from like, her job. At one point a senior Conservative MP (Member of Parliament) has to insist the house of commons that 'the prime minister is not hiding under a desk'.

This all culminates in a vote, which may have been a vote about fracking or may have been a vote of confidence in the Trussterfuck's premiership (even Conservative MPs weren't sure), that immediately descends into mania. Multiple major political figures resign. There are reports of MPs in tears. There are reports of MPs being physically manhandled to the voting queue by Truss loyalists (and, oh, we do not do amateur dramatics like that here!). Liz Truss herself misses the vote because she's too busy trying to talk a senior staff member out of resigning. A Conservative MP tells BBC News that the whole thing was 'a disgrace the party can't come back from.'

A few days after that, she was out. Just two months after being elected prime minister. She's officially the shortest serving Prime Minister ever (the next shortest died.) It's wild, unheard of. British politics doesn't work like this. This kind of unhinged political chaos doesn't happen to us.

... That was two years ago. These days? We're... OK.

Don't get me wrong, we have a rising far right just like you do (where doesn't these days), and our new government is better but not amazing. It does feel more stable here though than it has in years. Some things even seem like they might start getting better! Truss' bullshit blew over, and we got back to normal.

Also, there was 100% a point where The Trussterfuck got so awful it looped back round to being funny. Once politics really loses the plot, sometimes all you can do is laugh.

... Anyway that point of this is that Germany will be fine. Political chaos isn't always doom, and based on what you've said about the way your government works, it sounds like this will sort itself out. If Scholz can fire Lindner, anyone can fire anyone, and that in itself makes a far-right takeover way less likely. Unless a convincing AFD majority is a real risk (which- I might be wrong but I don't think it is), everything will work itself out, and you'll get to have a bit of a laugh in the meantime.

Good luck- you might need to buckle in for a bit- but definitely don't panic or despair!

Okay alright sorry for all the sudden German politics influx but lemme explain what happened so far and why Germans are losing it a bit:

The tldr? Our government is getting a divorce and it's turning messy with elections being called early and now being called even earlier.

The longer version?

Okay so, groundwork first:

in Germany there is a coalition currently in power called the Ampel(traffic lights) bc the colours of the party are red, yellow and green (or not anymore or for much longer??). They're centrist slightly more left leaning than right leaning. (You could argue about that I am aware). There has been infighting for as long as this coalition has been going on. It is also the first three party coalition since y know, the Last Time.

So. Enough groundwork. The yellow party (FDP) has a finance minister (Christiane Lindner) it's this guy

You will see him in memes I am sure. We don't like him. He's an asshole and has blocked every meaningful change that the coalition had been trying to accomplish. He also got his finance plan blocked by our highest court because parts were against our Constitution.

(.... I am oversimplifying hard here it's actually more complicated than that and not fully his fault, but it's also not the focus)

What WAS the fault though of him and the FDP was that they had a strong position of "saving money at all costs" which made bigger and bigger rifts with the two other coalition partners who were more leaftleaning. The war in Ukraine, Infrastructure, climate change - there were many places that needed more money and Lidner was like naaahhhhh for no fucking reason other than "oh we need to save money!!"

Long story short there have been arguing all the fucking time and therefore have started to lose approval. Drastically lose approval. As on for the first time since the Last Time there is a far right party in charge for part of the country that is also being investigated for being Nazis. (Oversimplifying again).

Which is. Worrying. You know. Especially with Trump now being elected. It has us all a little skittish.

The finance minister has also now been fired.

You see. We were all still trying to stomach Trump winning the US election, when Scholz, in the same fucking evening, fired Lindner.

And not in a polite way. Nah. Olaf fucking Scholz our Chancellor, notorious for saying literally nothing, and with a running joke that he regularly stops existing bc that man Does Not Take Stances, a spine of wet cardboard, delivered this yesterday evening:

(English subtitles by me you already got this far watch it I spent too much time on this lol)

And it is insane alright. For his standards and German politic standards thats the equivalent of calling Lindner a egomaniacal bitch that has only his self interest at heart and can not be trusted.

Lindner and his party have been pulverised in all recent elections. Which means that after he was fired, the FDP completely withdrew from the coalition and all minister from the FDP resigned.

....well all but one who apparently stayed in his positions because he's leaving the FDP over this. What sort of shitty backstabbing kindergarten fight is this. (Jokes aside hes the minister of transportation and says he needs to stay in office in important projects. Which. True. Having minister resigning en mass is not good)

Alright cool cool cool cool. Current situation yesterday is the following:

So. Trump is president. Fuck.

Lindner got fired! Yaaay!

Wait my goverment is now also falling apart! Fuck.

Which all lead to new elections being called in Germany.

Mind you, that's not usual ok. I know other countries have systems where they can call an election whenever but that is not a thing that normally happens here. We have a schedule alright. (Insert obligatory "Germans and their plans and structure" joke)

So new elections are called for spring, nearly a year early. Cool cool cool. With a right wing rising in Germany and deeply unpopular current leadership. On the eve of motherfucking trump getting elected.

Habeck, leader of the green party and one of the few policians in germany I think is vaguely liked by ppl (the general attitude in German politics is less "I like this guy" and more "you are the least shitty choice I guess") has appearently also nearly started crying after the news broke. So. Yeah.

Now. Let's make this shitshow complete,alright?

There is this party. CDU. They had been in charge for a very long time in Germany. Centrist, right leaning, with the afd on the rising even more right leaning than before. Their current leader is Friedrich Merz, as unpleasant as human beings can go.

He has now called for the new election to be not in a few months but like. To be called next week.

In the current climate.

So yeah. if you're German mutuals and friends are currently going through their own stages of grief - this is why.

[jellieland]

Pearl is pretty sure she was just as much a traitor as Bigb was, today.

The only difference is that she wasn't found out.

Which is to say, the only difference is she had the good sense not to do it within earshot of Cleo, of all people. Honestly, what was he expecting?

She doesn't know, and she's not sure she ever will. Bigb's always been hard to read.

Maybe that's the point? Thinking about it, there is something enticing about the idea.

If people misinterpret you, accuse you, look at you like they don't know who you are. Wouldn't it be so much easier to deal with, if they were right? If you could focus on rebuttals, denials, honeyed words, without also having to nurse the tearing at your heart.

Or maybe that's not how Bigb thinks.

Maybe that's just her.

Not that that was why she did it this time, of course! It just seemed like it would be funny! She was just being a little silly!

Anyway, it's not like it even came to anything, in the end. Scott arrived and immediately heard Mumbo and Skizz and nothing even happened! He didn't even seem to be suspicious of her by the end of the interaction! They totally managed to throw him off the scent!

...Credit where it's due, that was some of the least unconvincing lying she's ever heard from Mumbo, which she does appreciate. She's still kind of surprised Scott bought it, though.

Anyway, nobody in her team knows what she said she would do, and it didn't actually get anyone hurt, so it's basically like it didn't happen. Why would she do anything to her team? They've been nothing but kind to her!

Nothing but kind to her, for as long as she remembers.

Yeah.

Bigb, though? Clearly untrustworthy, that one. Disloyal! A traitor!

She watches him back away, hiding behind a shield, and she lets her arrows fly. And oh, it's so satisfying. This time, she gets to be the one with the moral high ground, looking down, driving out, pushing away!

There's something powerful about it. It feels good. She likes it.

She's in a good position, in this team. She trusts everyone here. Of course she does.

Why wouldn't she?

...

Anyway, all she wants to do is have fun!

...Well, that's not totally true.

All she wants to do is keep Impulse safe.

That was her one condition for them, when she agreed to help them kill her teammates.

Whatever happens, she doesn't want Impulse to die.

The others... well. They're the others! What reason would she have, to wish them harm? And hey, even if she did, she knows full well the consequences of betraying them in a way they'll find out about. Of course she does!

She saw what happened to Bigb, after all.

It's not a total surprise, really. With the bad blood between him and Cleo, maybe it was just inevitable.

Maybe none of them can change who they are, in the end.

Maybe all they can do is get better at hiding it, until it all burns down like it always does.

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Great points of today’s Pearl ep (a recap of my freak-outs, some of which will be getting their own posts)-

Exclusively spoilers below this line:

Cleo asking Pearl if she’s okay and Scott offering her a life if she goes red. Pearl defending herself when Scott says she keeps making enemies.

Cleo enabling Pearl and Scott trying to stop her. The eventual agreement that she can kill Gem or Joel if negotiations don’t work.

Never did I think I’d see the day but Gem attacking Pearl and Cleo responding with “She’s not done anything to you Gem!” And defending her? My neurons are firing lads.

Scar asking Pearl if shes okay?

BigB is officially fired from the GGGG, and the world possible person (Cleo) caught him doing it.

Impulse trying to do a British woman voice and failing so hard that Cleo fails to recognize her own quote.

Pearl catching Skizz and Mumbo like vermin under their base. Mumbo trying to convince her that her teammates don’t really love her because they won’t give her a life and trying to get her to betray them so she won’t snitch that Skizz is under their base. AND SHE DOES BETRAY THEM?? HELLO?

Bonus Imp and Skizz podcast except Mumbo and Pearl are Impulse in order to keep Mumbo and Skizz’ vid from being just them sneaking.

Ren wanting to kill Grian because he’s the one causing them all their pain and recruiting Pearl, Scar, and BigB… Watcher fans come get yall juice.

JOEL ALSO ASSUMING PEARL’S TEAM DUMPED HER?? Her referring to the parrots as “the canaries” and actually getting the fast and furious reference which does automatically put her in Joel’s good graces.

Mumbo and Skizz immediately sighing after they fail to kill the people coming to visit Pearl. Pearl then getting Mumbo and Skizz to reassure her that she has been making friends and her teammates are wrong.

Scott silently leading her away and telling her that Mumbo is under their base, and Pearl pretending she had no idea anyone was there and she’s been building the whole time. Mumbo lying for her???? Hello?? Mumbo trying to offer Scott the same deal he gave Pearl and Scott refusing?

“Ya know, I have no reason to go against Scott this season. I just think it’s funny. And that’s what I do every season! I do a little fun, I have a little glee, I have a little laugh and it’s, I dunno. But if you make a bunch of allies then nobody wants to kill you right? Right.”

MOON FAST! “You go moon! Look at that cousin in the sky!”

“I knew tnt minecarts were a bad idea. That’s why I don’t touch them with a ten foot pole.” VIOLENT LIMITED LIFE FLASHBACK

Pearl wanting her team’s approval of the base! Cleo calling her very talented!

This moment:

Martyn: Come on, let red Pearl out to play!

Pearl: No, look as much as she would love to, it’s too early for red Pearl. She can stay where she is.

Gem and Pearl getting along for a brief moment to watch the boys be stupid.

Pearl telling Scott not to trust BigB and Cleo saying BigB is working with the devils… Nosey Neighbor fans weep, Pearl and Cleo duo (I don’t know their name) fans cheer

PEARL SHOOTING BIGB WHILE CLEO CHEERS HER ON!!! NOSEY NEIGHBOR FANS WEEP PEARL AND CLEO DUO FANS CHEER

Pearl shooting Martyn?? Oh she’s got blood lust now!

“I’m in me mum’s car!”

Pearl, Tango, and Bdubs just watching the chaos and refusing to cross the bridge.

No Pearl deaths!!!!

[astronicht]

23 or 24 for rosquez 🙏🙏

24. whispering in their ear, lips touching the skin

I wrote a kind of soft one for the thigh-grabbing prompt and this is uh not like that. keeping the universe in balance! sorry in advance i guess. Kind of a companion piece, actually, to this earlier rosquez prompt snippet.

Valentino shakes awake from a dream in which someone is dead. The point at which there is a jolt into wakefulness is unclear. 

Daylight is too bright across the bed, and he can smell his own sweat. He reaches for Marc, but he isn’t used to Marc being here and goes for the wrong side of the bed. Valentino’s hand knocks over a glass of water, and a carton of pills on the side table. They skid onto the tile.

Marc isn’t in bed, exactly. He’s sitting on it, legs crossed, staring down at Valentino from the other side. One hand is braced on the mattress, taking a lot of his weight. He likes to put his weight on his bad arm, over and over. Valentino has seen him do it even when he thinks he is alone.

His good arm is holding a little espresso cup from the ranch kitchen. He is noticing Valentino’s mad scramble, but a little too slowly. His face is blank and far away.

Sometimes Marc goes very distant. It would be better if it were personal, but Valentino thinks it isn’t. He thinks the only person Marc can bear to stay present with, always, is his brother. For Valentino, this is much worse than if he simply couldn’t do it with anyone at all. It feels like penance.

“Vale?” Marc asks, that awful blankness creasing into a frown. The sharp nausea of the dream recedes, though someone is still dead.

Valentino rolls onto his elbows and stomach and rests his forehead on the mattress. He breathes, awful and shaky, but it’s better to get the bad breaths out until he’s running clean again.

“Vale?” Marc says again. His voice is less flat; he’s almost present, now. The smell of the espresso is overpowering.

“Marc,” Valentino says. His voice sounds like shit. His arms and thighs are a little tired, from fucking. “Did you figure out the espresso machine?”

“No,” Marc says slowly. The bed shifts. “No one will touch it. Bezzecchi made me a Turkish coffee.”

He’s lying. Marco doesn’t know how to make Turkish coffee, and if he did he wouldn’t be making one for Marc. It will have been Pecco. Vale is a little surprised. This means Pecco both arrived on time for morning practice and made Marc a coffee.

No one can actually work the espresso machine except for Vale, and previously, Uccio. There is no point mentioning this because Valentino does not say Uccio’s name to Marc.

The shaking is stopping. But like payback, the dropping feeling in his chest is getting worse. Valentino blinks his eyes open: bedding below him. It smells like semen. To his right is Marc, shifting, coming closer from wherever his mind was. There is a dripping sound: the glass Valentino knocked over on the nightstand. It is just water, but now it’s mostly on the floor.

He remembers reaching for Marc, because someone was dead. He had not been reaching for comfort. He had needed Marc or needed to be ill. This has not really changed.

“Is the coffee good?”

“Yeah,” Marc says. “Tell Bezzecchi nice job.”

That would be funny.

“Are you done, then?” Valentino asks.

“Sure,” says Marc.

Valentino grabs the back of his t-shirt and yanks backwards. He’s not delicate about it, and Marc instinctively snatches up the bad arm. He falls backwards onto the bed. He also lied about being done with the Turkish coffee; it splatters across Valentino’s chest and the shirt he fell asleep in sometime around six in the morning. It’s cold; Marc hadn’t even been drinking it. The smell is sweet and strong. The espresso cup hits the mattress and then thumps on the floor, trailing cold coffee grounds. You can read those like a palm or tea leaves, Vale has heard.

Valentino rolls onto Marc’s back. Under him, Marc tries to go up on his elbows— tries to lean on the bad one, lean on the bad one. Valentino grunts and doesn’t let him. It’s worth the effort: Marc groans, and says “Yeah, please—.” 

Vale fists a hand in his hair. Coffee grounds are between Vale’s fingers. His heart is going too fast.

They can’t have fucked that long ago, because they fucked at dawn right before Valentino fell asleep. Marc slept, off and on, cat-napping through Valentino’s long night, occasionally blinking like some nocturnal animal, once crying because Valentino made him come and then put Marc’s dick in his mouth and made him come again. 

Vale doesn’t know if it’s been an hour or if it’s been five since he last fucked Marc. Will he be able to get it up? He’d better. He needs to.

He holds Marc down on the bed with one hand at the back of Marc’s neck and with the other fishes around on the floor for the blister pack of pills. He gets one out with a near-steady hand and swallows it dry. Should work in twenty minutes, but Valentino has always burned through things fast, so it will be less.

Marc sees but ignores this. Valentino gets back on top of him and yanks his boxer-briefs down, nothing else. Marc says, “Ah—shit,” and arches his back. 

Valentino leans up and spreads his ass, spits on his hole. He can already feel himself starting to get hard; the pill wasn’t needed after all. Ah, well. Funny story later. His brain says that loudly over the feeling of sex: Funny story later. And, Someone is dead. He was dreaming. Water dripping. Marc on his bed here in Tavullia, first mask-like, now under him, moaning and twisting when Vale bites the back of his neck. 

Valentino wants to pound into him: ball-slapping, basic porn stuff. It is sort of crazy how he cannot stop thinking about it over and over, all night, not missing a moment. Marc was asleep a lot of the time, so Vale just watched him and wanted it, grinding his teeth, enjoying the wait — and waiting to need a break, to need a minute, a coffee, a nap. He doesn’t even remember falling asleep, just knows he did sleep because of the nightmare. Marc under the line of his body bucks and says Valentino’s name.

Valentino rests his chin on Marc’s shoulder, and tries not to show that he’s breathless from holding Marc down the way Marc wants. He says into the shell of Marc’s ear, “Where did you go, hm? Have you been wandering around?”

And Marc laughs — a wheeze under Valentino’s body, as heavy as he can make it for Marc — and moans and says, eyes shut, “You were only asleep for twenty minutes.”

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for inkwell behind the cut; “Billy and Damian and the whole soulmate thing”. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Like–except Robin, obviously. Robin doesn’t deserve him being spiteful. Robin deserves, like, a nice wedding with Nightwing as his best man and Red Robin, like, definitely invited but maybe seated at a table off to the side behind a tactically-placed floral arrangement or twelve and also whatever Robin likes to eat on the menu, which Billy admittedly doesn’t actually know yet and probably needs to figure out. Though then again, if he’s running away from the Justice League and/or Batman’s weird seventeen-bedroomed house until he’s eighteen, Robin’s tastes are probably gonna change a bit, so maybe he should just wait on that so he can be sure he’s getting it right and all? 

Ugh. Billy really doesn’t wanna have to run away from the Justice League until he’s eighteen. Especially not Batman. Batman’s really good at finding people, so he’s basically just gonna have to hide out at the Rock of Eternity for like the whole time, and that is so long and is gonna get so boring so quick. 

Ugh. Ughhh. Ugh. 

“Where was that? Laws about supplying alcohol to a minor vary significantly from state to state,” Batman says as Flash slithers to the floor with an actual moan. Billy glowers at him. He is still not forgiving him just ‘cuz he’s funny. “And felony charges can apply to repeat offenders."

. . . alright, Batman’s really funny. But still, dammit! 

“Bats, I really don’t think accidentally buying a drink for a magically-disguised minor three years ago is the relevant concern here,” Green Lantern says in exasperation. 

“You said you took him to multiple bars,” Batman says, just barely tilting his head. “Was that the only time any of you bought him a drink?” 

“I–you–he looks like forty!” Green Lantern protests. Flash just stays on the floor. 

Batman raises an eyebrow behind his mask, then looks over at Billy and looks him over; then looks back to Green Lantern with a very telling expression. Green Lantern sputters indignantly. 

“Stop being funny, asshole, I’m still gonna be mad even if you are,” Billy grumbles at Batman, who just makes the same little “hm” noise he always does when he’s feeling particularly smug about a joke he’s made. Billy scowls at him on principle. 

Asshole. Geez, like Billy’s new here or something. 

“Father, this is hardly professional behavior,” Robin says, giving Batman a withering look. 

“God, I will never understand what kids even think Bats is saying,” Green Arrow mutters under his breath, half-covering his face with a hand and eyeing Robin through his fingers. “Listen, Cap–Billy–” 

“Excuse you?” Billy asks, scowling at him instead. “You think we’re on a first-name basis while you guys are threatening me?” 

“Listen, brat, I am also a licensed foster parent, and Star is closer to Fawcett than Gotham is, so I in fact am threatening you,” Green Arrow retorts, narrowing his eyes at him. “And there’s eight bedrooms in my house.” 

“That is not a house!” Billy says. “That’s literally not a house, that’s like a hotel! Why do none of you just have houses?!” 

“A motel, perhaps,” Robin drawls, eyeing Green Arrow disdainfully. 

“I am not living with anyone, I’m fine,” Billy emphasizes with a glower. “I’ve been fine all this time, haven’t I?”

“. . . Billy,” Superman says, looking stressed. “How long have you been homeless, exactly?” 

“Since I was like seven,” Billy says, since he doesn’t count any of the in-and-out foster care nonsense as not being homeless, considering. That’d just been a bunch of shitty places he’d had to sneak out of or run away from, not actually anywhere he’d ever really lived. Mostly he’d slept in abandoned buildings or alleys or parks, ‘cuz it’d been safer. “So I’m fine, obviously.” 

“Since you were seven,” Superman repeats, looking stressed. 

“That’s what I said,” Billy says in exasperation, folding his arms again and glowering at him. “And I didn’t even have superpowers then and still took care of myself fine, so I’m double-fine now, actually.” 

Superman puts his face in his hands, for some reason. Black Canary pats his back sympathetically.

Billy does not think Superman deserves sympathy right now.

[lilia-calderus-pet-goat]

Found-Family headcanons for a³'s coven of chaos, part 4: (because they all deserved more time with each other)

(warning: drinking)

(part 3, here) - (part 2, here) - (part 1, here)

Everyone loves to give Señor Scratchy treats, even when Agatha insists they shouldn't.

Señor Scratchy especially loves Billy, Lilia and Sharon. He does likes to cuddle everyone, though. Except Jen, who he's always trying to bite, (???) because he wouldn't be Agatha's familiar if he didn't.

One day Jen jokes that she will turn him into a purse if he rages against her again—and everyone defensively yells at her at the same time. “Okay! Okay! Jeez! I was joking!”

Sharon cuts fruit for everyone every time they hang out together and forces them to eat it before doing anything else.

Jen usually pays for everything. It's the price of her constantly bragging about her, “real job.”

Agatha always teases her about it. One time, Lilia felt bad—and so she “went to the bathroom” and payed for everyone herself.

Billy himself got his first bad alcohol experience at age seventeen at his first big teen party, which Eddie took him to.

He got very fucking wasted very quickly because turns out he's not great at holding his alcohol. So—he begged Eddie not to call his parents, because, “they've bEeN through enOUGH I'M A HORRIBLE SON AND NOT EVEN reALLY THeirS--”

So, Eddie sighed and called Agatha to get him instead. And yes, your girl did drive ALL the way to Eastview—and spent the whole night sleepless, sobering him up to save him from the hungover. She was just glaring at Rio all night long, telling her to go make coffee and no funny business, while holding his head over the toilet. She was surprisingly gentle and comforting during the experience—because she does have her moments—like when Lilia had her traumatic hallucination in Jen's trial and Agatha gently went, “okay” instead of mocking her. That's the vibe.

BUT he still got the scolding of his life the next day. The whole neighbourhood heard Agatha yelling.

During the argument Agatha yelled that, “I'm not your mother!” and he shot back, “I know that, do YOU know that??” Which caused her to avoid him for a few days.

Later, Rio told him how much it actually affected her and why—and Billy felt really bad about it. On mother's day, he gave Agatha a gift basket of stuff he made himself, (with his bio-mom's help.) Agatha said it was tacky and unnecessary—but she actually teared up a bit. She opened the window and yelled at Wanda's abandoned lot to make an insensitive joke about how, “suck it, Wanda, you rank last in the mom list—” as to not show too much vulnerability. But Billy is used to her by now—and he knows that she appreciated it.

Alice always feels sad on mother's day. She visits her mother's grave site and tells her how bad her life is. This year, Billy went with her. And for thr first time, Alice only had goof things to tell her. About how she broke the curse—and she can finally do something with her life now. About how she got a new job, and a coven.

And, to cope, Alice got a gift for Lilia and one for Sharon. They may not be her actual mothers—but she appreciates them both endlessly and their support means the world to her. She got them both protective crystals.

You know who ELSE got Sharon a gift??

Well, Sharon doesn't either. She just received an anonymous bouquet of Azaleas and she had no idea who sent it to her.

It was Agatha, but she'd die before admitting it. She's the last person you'd suspect, since she still calls her Mrs. Hart despite how triggering it is, or pretends she doesn't remember her existence at all. In reality, she's grown fond of the Westview residents despite her best efforts not to. She doesn't particularly respect them and she does view them as “lesser,” but she doesn't wish them harm. They did take care of her for three years—and the Agnes role does have bits and pieces of Agatha in it.

Billy finds out through Rio and accidentally tells Alice. Alice tells Jen, Jen tells Lilia, (because she's not about to hide Agatha's embarrassing secret.) and Lilia tells Sharon.

Sharon is surprised but also extremely moved, considering she doesn't have any living family. She wants to thank Agatha, so she gets the idea to throw her a surprise party. (Since she herself hasn't been to a party since Mr. Davis passed away and she really wants to attend one!!)

She gets help from the coven but also invites all the main Westview residents that we know and love. Rio proposes the idea of writing, 'Agnes of Westview' on the cake, to get back at Agatha for always calling them by their Wanda-branded names. Sharon doesn't want to, but everyone else finds it hilarious, so they do it.

Agatha pretends to be extremely annoyed.

She isn't. She just never expected this to happen to her. For people to want to be there—and to see her as someone at least capable of good—someone who deserves a second chance.

They eat and drink together, having a blast. Billy isn't allowed to drink, but Agatha sneaks him a glass. Just ONE glass. You know, to teach him responsibility, as if she's the queen of it. “It's about knowing when to stop, teen.” “oh is it? tell us more”

Sharon is the opposite of a light-weight. She chugs down those shots like they're nothing—and if you ask her, she'll dismissively wave and say she's “lived a life.” Still, she doesn't seem to know her limits, and she gets carried away. At least she prepared some bomb ass charcuterie for everyone!!

Jen is a classy drinker, picky with her alcohol. She knows her limits and always drinks just enough to “make the company tolerable,” since, “no sane person could ever find you idiots amusing without a few shots.”

Lilia becomes incredibly talkative when she drinks and she loses whatever filter she may have otherwise had. Not to say that usually she has too much of a filter, but drunk, she literally becomes Patti Lupone. Jen finds it endearing and listens intently, Alice finds it sort of amusing but also a bit shocking, Rio matches her freak and Agatha just finds it fucking terrifying.

You'd expect Rio to be wilding, but she already does that sober. No, instead, she becomes very clingy and very affectionate—just whipped over Agatha. And she's kind of a light-weight too, which surprises everyone at first. It's because her real form is literally skeletal and her human form is probably maintained magically—so there's less actual real body mass to dilute the alcohol. So, death can tear through the fabric of reality, but metabolising alcohol is just too difficult.

Alice can hold her alcohol very well. She was once the definition of a teenage dirtbag, so she has experience in the field. Now she's pretty sensible. She's also the most clear-headed, even when she's drunk enough to stumble around.

Agatha herself is a slow drinker because she wants to make fun of everyone else for being less sober than her. She's developed a fair bit of tolerance over the years, but when it finally hits it really hits.

During a particularly rough case of drunkenness her and Jen sung karaoke together. Not during Agatha's party, though. Neither of them can quite recall the incident, or so they claim. Unfortunately for them, Alice recorded the whole thing. Rio made it her ringtone, as did Lilia.

Jen forces Lilia to get a skin-care routine. “Doll, I actively choose to look like this because I don't have the time or energy to maintain a youthful appearance. What makes you think I'll spend money on these products that capitaliSe in womeN's InsEcuriTiEs—I'm a divination fraud, you're a beauty guru fraud, we're both senior citizens, I don't care for this—”

And Jen is like, “okay ouch but nO this is nOt what I've been selling. This is new. We're not talking about just a luxury—the skin is the largest organ of the body and is exposed to various environmental stressors like pollution, UV rays, and temperature changes, as well as internal factors like stress and diet. I'm giFting these products to you I mAde them in a cAuLdron.”

Lilia is so flabbergasted by the clarity of Jen's explanation that she agrees. However, she constantly forgets to actually apply it.

Fortunately, Jen never forgets. And Lilia is probably the only person that Jen tolerates to constantly give reminders to.

[junabuggy]

Hello! I saw your Toby headcanons, and as a Toby fan, I'd love some platonic Toby headcanons, if that's possible? Just kinda wanna see how he'd act with a friend that gets him, y'know? Thank you so much ^0^

��𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢 𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 !!

𝘈/𝘯: ofc !! I loooove writing for Toby hehe

𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: None :*:·\(￣▽￣)/·:*·°★*

──★ ˙ ̟ 𝘚𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨??

☆• Honestly it'd probably take a while to actually befriend good 'ol Toby, but it's very worth it once you do !!

☆• Chaotic, but fun (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

☆• After missions he practically busts down your door and makes himself comfortable in your bed, yapping about his day and what happened during his mission for a while before deciding to watch random YouTube videos on your TV... Yeah, safe to say he's comfortable with you.

☆• Naturally, sleepovers happen a lot because he'll end up falling asleep

☆• BUT !1!!! If it's a planned one he's pulling all nighters with you (๑·̀ㅁ·́๑)✧

☆• Would find the silly 2010 quotev quizzes and tests funny, def engages in them with you

☆• Takes a "Which creepypasta character is your boyfriend?" one and gets himself 😭😭

☆• Deep talks late at night just about life and what he can remember from before.. only time he ever really does open up (even if he's still somewhat vague about certain stuff)

☆• INSIDE JOKES. He's a sucker for those

☆• Yes, the other pastas look at you two funny when he says a random word and you burst out into a fit of giggles, him trying (and failing) to hold back his own

☆• You guys have a secret and way too complex handshake you never fail to greet each other with

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧�� 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞

ᯓ★ 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐲

[solar4seekstron]

Tf1!Orion Pax/Optimus Prime x Cybertronian!GN!Reader Oneshot: Meet Again

A special thanks to @heavenlykunoichi for requesting this. I had so much fun as always writing for our boy OP. No matter which OP he is lol. I hope you all enjoy and a repost is always appreciated.

Tw/Tags: not much just fluff and op asking you on a date:

You knew Orion as the little dare devil around the mines and city. You were always a part of the same shift and while you two don’t always talk much…..Yeah you both pined for each other for a good while. You thought he was cute and funny can others really blame you? Same thing goes to him. Everytime you aren’t around he immediately starts talking to D about you.

And D always responds with ‘go talk to them then. And let me sleep.’ But Orion never does shut up. And so after that you both continued on as you both always exchange looks and smiles. Both too shy to really try to speak to eachother.

It wasn’t until one day when he randomly disappeared. Only for Sentinel to say he and his best friend died due to their race wounds. You hated yourself ever since.

You never cared for the race and just took the opportunity to go in the city and look for treats for yourself since your friends descided to go the stadium. Even as you dealt with the daily racism and made your way into he store with whatever money you head. You didn’t pay much attention to all the TVs playing the race.

Even by chance missing the part where the announcer says ‘two miners’ every time.

And so after some time you were a lot more down and out of it. Even at times not hearing the surprises like Darkeing making racist and even remarks toawrds your frame as their way of flirting. That didn’t stop them though.

Out of no where Sentnel would order for you all to do more and more shifts even over time. And so that’s all you did. Even ignoring the superiors as kept at it. The only thing keeping you to keep going is the memory of Orion. And so you don’t stop even when Darking tried to convince that he can take you out of work.

When Orion returned, now with a cog. You were still in the mines for one of the shifts in order to help others to continue and go faster.

Orion was pretty saddened. And the pain in his spark was heavy.

During the fight when the secret of Sentinel was realesed. You were one of the bots pushing the carts. You even pushed the carts down in anger as you yelled along side the others. You and the other miners then leave to go to the surface. From there you watched as D fought sentinel. And then Orion..and then…

You saw him die…. You were one of the bots who watched in horror. The pain in your optics as you could only watch. And then as D became Megatron…..Orion came back!!!

You felt joy in your spark as you watched him. He and Megatron then engage into battle. You could only watch until Optimus woukld soon claim victory. Banishing Megatron to the surface. And from there. Energon came back. And you had a cog! But you weren’t really able to greet Optimus as he cheered with the other former miners. So many others kept getting to him first. That the day was already almost over. You all got to stay in hotels and empty houses now that you cant really stay in the sleeping quarters.

And so you stayed in one of the hotels close by the tower where Optimus is staying. Most likely in a meeting with his closest friends. As you stared up at the tower of the window before heading to recharge. The next day you were looking for new work but made sure to stay close to the tower. For any chance to see Optimus.

As you spoke to Ratchet to help with patience. Since you always wanted to work in medican. You would then hear a voice from afar.

”Y/N!” you turned around and saw Optimus. You walked up to you and waved as others watched him and cheered. He defiantly has a crowd. Ratchet lets you know he’ll be expecting you in his office and be apply to have you join.

You thanked him and looked at Optimus. You both stood there only a few inches from each other and stared into each others optics. You both then about to speak first until Optimus apologized and said you first.

”S-so prime huh? And you just had to leave work for over a day?” He chuckled rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down. You sighed and held your cervos together as you looked down as well. He looked back at you. “Optimus I’ve been wanting to ask….um…since you’ve been busy and all…”

”Yeah?’ He said softly as he stared down at you. His optics soft as he did take a step closer to you. You still don’t move. “I-I well I always had a sort of…crush on you..and..”

You’d then feel a cervo on your shoulder. Only to get your attention as it moved to gently hold you chin as you looked up at him.

”I…like you too…I know we didn’t do much ‘cause well I didn’t always know what to say to you…but would you like to…go out sometime? Like lunch or something?” You only stared at him with puppy eyes. Feeling so much joy.

”I..I’d love to Optimus..” He chuckled as he keeps looking at you with admiration. “I’ll comm you then Sweetspark.” He turns, his cervo leaving from holding your chin. Until he stopped and looked back at you. Walking closer to you again.

”Oh and before I forget.” He then leaned down. A cervo behind your back and another on your wrist. Gently being held as before you knew it. His dermas were on yours. As soft kiss and passionate. It didn’t take much time for you to return the kiss.

Closing your optics as he did the same. Both of you stayed like this for a moment longer as others watched and walked by. He eventually pulled away and winked at you. “Until then Sweetspark.”

”Until then….sweetspark.” You’d say as he walked off. You finally did it…..YOU HAVE A DATE WITH HIM. You’re definitely a lucky bot in this city for sure! You couldn’t be any more happy!

This was so fun to write! I enjoyed writing for OP and ugh I love writing his cuteness and how silly he can be. I always enjoy writing for him and I had lots of fun with this Oneshot. I hope you all enjoyed and read my other works. I hope you all have a good rest of your day and continue to enjoy my later works.

[izudeeilo]

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You can study me

Sero hanta smau

volley-ball player sero x art student fem!reader, no quirks au, college au.

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Senior year is finally here! You thought that this time, the teachers would be more lenient with you and your classmates, but not at all. In fact, they even got stricter... They assigned you a half year-long work, which would be worth 30% of your final grade. What does the work consist of, you ask? Making a complete study of the life of a student you need to pick and paint it.

But... you can't pick a friend.

Part .4 • Part .6 (soon)

Part 5

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All of a sudden you see Eijirou get up and pick up his things quickly, startling you.

”Sorry I need to go right now, thanks for your help! i forgot i needed to be somewhere” he chuckles apologetically.

”It’s alright, let me at least accompany you! What’s happening today?” you ask as you pick your things and shove them into your bag before following him.

”I completely forgot we had a match in another city and the bus is leaving in 10 minutes. The others are already waiting for me” he says, speeding up his pace and you do your best to keep up.

”Oh right! Hanta told me about it. I didn't know it was today, shit you better get here quickly, you want to run?” you offer as you chuckle.

”If it doesn't bother you, sure!” he laughs and the two of you begin running in the direction of the gymnasium where the bus was parked. You were able to get there in only three minutes thankfully. You both stop and try to catch your breath.

”We’re…here— I’m here!” Eijirou pants, hand on his chest.”I lost track of time…”

”At least you’re here now come on, get inside” the coach points to the bus with a nod of his head.

Hanta smiles and you make your way to him.

”Good luck on your match”

“I would have more luck if my lucky charm was cheering me on” Hanta replies with a grin.

“Oh yeah? Is that what I am now..” you poke his chest.

Hanta shrugged his shoulders playfully.

“Mmh” he nods. “Do you have anything better to do today?” he leans on the bus.

You sigh knowing that you did in fact have nothing else to do besides staying on campus to study or just go home. So if you had to choose, you’d rather stay with him.

”If it’s fine with your coach then yeah” you nod.

”Oh you don’t have to worry about that” he guides you inside the bus and you both sit next to each other while the others sit behind and next to you as you all enjoy the rest of the ride in a joyful atmosphere.

The whole entire time you and Hanta were glued to each other, shoulders always touching. You swore you felt his hand brush yours a few times and that made your stomach turn. This was getting so frustrating, you didn't want to admit it out loud because if you did you would realize that these…feelings were actually true and they couldn’t be true right?

Was what you felt for him truly more than friendship, wasn’t it going to ruin everything between you two if he knew? Hanta was just so funny and charming, he always made your day a whole lot brighter. He always knew the right words to say when you were feeling down. All the little gestures he does for and my god was he good looking…

His gorgeous brown eyes that made you weak in the knees whenever he looked at you—

“You alright?” you felt someone’s hand land on your arm, it was Hanta.

”Oh yeah yeah sorry!” you snap out of your trance looking down at your cards trying to stop the blush from rising more to your cheeks. This was so embarrassing why did you space out in the middle of the game to think about that.

”You’ve been more lost in your thoughts than usual Y/n, is there something on your mind” Mina asks you with a knowing grin on her face.

“Nothing, nothing at all” you say almost too defensive, causing the others to look at you with a confused face before laughing.

“Suuure” Denki says putting down his card and yelling “UNO”

”Oh come on…” everyone sighs in defeat and you chuckle. You realized you really need to talk to your best friends.

When you arrived, the other team was already here and they were looking quite determined. You sat on a bench next to Mina who said you were “assisting” her in her manager duties. The court was way bigger up close and the height of the roof was really impressive. It made everything look so much bigger.

The boys were stretching a bit further away and practicing together before the match began. There weren’t a lot of people watching since this was only a friendly match between two schools and yet you hoped the boys would win this. As they began the first set, everything was going smoothly and at the end, they won. The second set came and was a bit more challenging and the opposite team won.

After the referee whistled for the break the coach had demanded, they came back panting, sweat forming at the back of their necks. You hand them out their towels and bottles with an encouraging smile.

”You all are doing great, you’re going to win this”

The boys all stare at me and grin, Eijirou and Denki hugging me with one arm wrapped around my shoulder.

”Thanks y/n for cheering us on, we’ll do our best” Eijirou grins with a toothy smile. “Damn right we’re going to win this” Katsuki follows with a determined look.

“Hanta can’t lose this if you’re here” he walks past Hanta and nudges him with his shoulder which results in him glaring at Katsuki with what you thought was red creeping up his cheeks? His head was turned so you couldn’t see well.

After their coach gave them a motivational speech, another whistle echoed in the gymnasium and they all returned to the court. The last 2 sets were getting more and more intense. Denki was giving in his all at trying to receive the ball well for his teammates. Katsuki, who was the middle blocker, ran amazingly fast each time to reach the ball Hanta or Eijirou set for him. There were two other hitters you didn’t know but they were also doing great.

You could see through their eyes how fast they were analyzing everything that was going down in the match, from the position to the eyes. You had to watch them carefully to notice all of this, someone who was sitting too far away wouldn’t be able to.

You were happy with this opportunity the guys gave you to assist in their match today, instead you would’ve been probably in bed sleeping or doing god knows what.

They won the third set and now you weren’t even sitting on the bench anymore but were standing and screaming encouraging words with Mina. Everything was going even faster now, the ball going up and down, left and right in every direction.

Scoring point after point, the score was now at 24-22 for the guys. They only needed one more to win this.

And so came one of the most stressful moments of your life as you carefully watched the ball in the air. Almost touching the ground but Denki was here to receive it but so was the other team's libero.

This went on for what felt like hours, none of the teams wanted to lose even if it only was a friendly match which showed how passionate they truly were.

Hanta was now serving, a serious look on his face as he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in. Everyone was focused and the whole place was quiet. You could almost hear their heart beat.

He opened his eyes, took a few steps ahead. Throwing the ball in the air, you began to see everything in slow motion. Hanta slightly ran, crouched to gain momentum before jumping, his hand making contact with the ball as it came down. You blinked and heard a loud thud from the other side of the court.

Nobody moved before you and Mina screamed in happiness as you both hugged each other jumping in place and everyone began loudly clapping their hands.

The boys all collide with each other as they all hug in a circle.

You continue clapping with a big smile on your face when Hanta suddenly looks up and makes eye contact with you. He runs over to you before his arms wrap themselves around your waist and lifts you up in the air as you hold onto his shoulders.

“We won!” he laughs, spinning you both around. You laugh along with him and throw your head back.

“You did, you did! You were incredible, you all were. Oh my god that match was insane” you chuckle as he puts you back on the ground.

“Thank you for coming and cheering me on hermosa” he says looking tenderly in your eyes, hands still on your waist.

”Of course Hanta.”

[curiouspupsicle]

Fics That Made Me LOL - Fan Fic Friday

Surely, I'm not the only person in need of a laugh, right? So here are some links to fics that made me giggle, laugh, or guffaw. Some have been around for a while. But at the top of my list for humor. A Little Time to Choose (Teen) - In which Aziraphale decides to grow facial hair. Delightful one-shot, post season 1 with witty banter by HotCrossPigeon. Also by HotCrossPigeon is Fancy Patter on the Telephone (General), set during the Covid lockdown. Features the phone conversations between our favorite angel and demon. Can I Have Your Number (General) - AppleSeeds crafts a cute little story where Aziraphale makes an ass of himself when that cute bartender asks for his number. Or does he?

I had to edit this list to add AppleSeeds' hilarious Keep Digging (Teen). I read it shortly after compiling this post thanks to a rec from @di-42. Human AU in which a nervous Crowley wants to ask Aziraphale out. But every time he humiliates himself in the attempt, he creates another web of lies to keep from looking even more stupid. And no, it doesn't work. I have never laughed harder at a fic. How to Win a Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Television (and how not to) (Teen) by GaryOldman - Human AU in which Crowley is a late-nite talk show host who gives a lifetime achievement award to Aziraphale, a morning show host. An ill-advised flirty comment on camera gets Crowley in trouble. But the "angelic" Aziraphale gives as good as he gets. I wrote this one. But one line in particular made me snicker. In Will You Ever Stop Surprising Me (Mature), Crowley wonders if he'll get bored after foiling the end times yet again. But watching his favorite angel in their local sex shop has him realizing Aziraphale is still full of surprises. Fluff, just fluff. And finally, a WIP I'm really enjoying, Waveslengths & Frequencies (Explicit) by imposterssyndrome & shades_of_eccles_cakes. In the last chapter, the banter between the writers is as funny (ok, even funnier) than the banter between our heroes. Human AU about rival DJs at a radio station. And yes, you have to read the footnotes. They're hilarious! Reblog to share the laughs.

[zettaireido-emotion]

Camus character analysis: games VS anime

If you finished the Uta no Prince-sama anime and your opinion of this man is "wow, he's kinda terrible," I don't blame you. in fact I've seen a lot of people say this

In this post, I want to talk about his characterization in the games and give my two cents on what the anime was trying to do with him, especially in his single focus episode Saintly Territory (S3E6).

Disclaimer: I wrote this on a whim because I'm sick and stuck at home so if anyone reads this, sorry I might go all over the place

Spoilers for all of the games!

The "be my slave" thing

Starting with Anime Camus's most egregious crime: treating Haruka like a servant/slave (however you want to translate it)

Basically in his focus episode, Haruka is tasked with writing a song for Camus. She wants to learn more about him in order to write it, but Camus will only let her follow him if she acts as his servant. She accepts without complaining, Cecil is rightfully angry, Haruka continues anyway and the song gets completed.

Now, am I about to say that Game Camus would never do this? No because he literally does lmao.

The anime doesn't pull this "servant" plotline out of nowhere, here's the context in his route:

Haruka accidentally overhears Camus talking about a plot to assassinate Saotome on the phone. When he notices that she heard everything, he basically tells her that he has to kill her now. But if she served him, he'd be able to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't leak anything, so she could escape death.

Okay uh "work under me or DIE" isn't exactly better, nor is it a good start to a love story, but I'm not finished!!

(A side note: I have to add that the anime made him look like an even bigger asshole and borderline dumb when it came to the things he made her do. Like he expected her to know that snapping your fingers means you want coffee without prior explanation. bro

^This might have been for comedic effect but I promise he can be actually funny and endearing.)

What the anime couldn't cover

The Camus episode wraps up with Haruka pulling through and writing a song that makes Camus "sincere," he says it's cool at the very end and that's the episode. I think the problem is that we technically didn't see him being sincere or what that even means to him, besides when he was singing (banger song btw)

It's a shame because in a 20-minute episode you really can't show the game experience of slowly piecing together what this man's problem is.

First of all, in Debut and AS you'll be quick to notice that he always has homeland and duty on the mind, constantly reminding himself that he's in Shining Agency/Japan for a reason, and it's NOT to have fun or make friends

The truth is, he slowly starts to appreciate the banter with his colleagues, music, and working there in general.

But because of his initial mindset, he has to rationalize & justify every connection he forms, like "it's just for work" or worse: "actually it was ALL A LIE and I NEVER ENJOYED A SECOND OF THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER, I'm such a great actor haha"

He uses that to fool himself and to push the other person away so it doesn't happen again. This scene is probably the best example:

(I'll be using google lens because it's faster but I checked that the tls were okay)

He also does this in the Non-Fiction drama, which may or may not have actually happened, but I think it's still a pretty good reflection of what could happen in reality because he tells Ranmaru their bond was a lie, then mopes around in his guilt thinking about the good times and wondering why he's sad, and THEN later doubles down on the "it was a lie, I don't care about you" because he just can't let himself get attached to anything.

Basically, he's terrified at the thought of forming actual bonds because he genuinely thinks he's nothing if he stops being a cold weapon:

At one point he does admit he sucks (as a love interest)-

-which is pretty huge by utapri standards. I love these games, but the amount of times where a male lead does something icky, and everyone, including Haruka, acts like it's normal or like it's Haruka's fault is ehhh but I digress

Upbringing

Of course he's very proud of his homeland and status, but sometimes it's to the point of thinking he can't be anything other than his title. So why is he like this?

We got to hear about his childhood from Camus himself a few times, and it often ended with Haruka thinking "wait? that's kinda messed up?" and Camus insisting it's nothing/it's normal so yeah that's something...

His parents were in an unhappy arranged marriage, and his mother was forced to birth an heir which traumatized her so much that she can't see Camus without falling ill. Overall it's a pretty tragic situation since what happened to her was horrible, though not Camus's fault either. Even now she refuses to see him, and I wouldn't say that makes him sad because he never really met her, but simply knowing of her sacrifice probably adds a lot of pressure. As in, he only exists for this one purpose (inheriting his father's title and serving the country), so if he doesn't play his part correctly, it would have all been for nothing.

He was raised by his father not as a child or son but as the heir, always treated and judged as an adult (even during physical training apparently, make of that what you will)

When Haruka asks about childhood memories he has a very hard time finding something that doesn't have to do with his duties or the nation. And then admits he didn't truly have a "childhood" since he was never treated like a child

As for the queen, I think his love for her is sincere: she taught him a lot of things growing up, and according to him, she's also a victim trapped by her duties so he wants to ease the burden.

So hypothetically, if he found things or people that made him happy in Japan, he would feel obligated to lock them away because that happiness is incompatible with his life: he'll have to leave when his mission ends, he shouldn't be spending time on things that aren't "useful" as he doesn't have the free will to pursue them

In his mind he's completely tied down by the fact that he was born and raised for a single reason, and the fact that he does want to serve the queen.

(This is Saotome describing him btw)

Also it might sound ridiculous to bring his self-worth into question because of how pretentious he is, but I've counted a few situations where he seemed to have complete disregard for his own life, only worrying about Haruka and Cecil's safety in scenes when they were present. And he thinks wanting to be loved unconditionally is a childish thought he shouldn't have.

"Double Face" was a lie. There's like at least 10 layers

On the surface he does have two personas, his perfect polite butler act for the media, and his cold bitchy attitude off camera. But honestly, even when he's not acting as a butler, he's often putting up a front to hide any form of vulnerability (from himself as well)

His main struggle is finding who he is outside of what he's being told to do. Before, he never actually stopped to think about what he WANTS because it just never occurs to him, or if it does he ignores it.

That's why realizing that he has his own desires is essential to his character development, and him staying with Quartet Night (and Haruka in his routes) is so important. It's why Reiji feels the need to reach out and when he does, Camus either freezes up or tears up;

This all makes him the opposite of Ranmaru (being true to yourself and sincere), and similar to Ai (gradually learning to view the world in a less cold and logical way), but I kind of want to save that for another post lmao

He is especially hard on Cecil because Cecil says & does whatever he wants, and everything still works out for him, which is a way of life that Camus can't imagine for himself at all (despite maybe wanting it?)

That he can realize this and eventually admit out loud, despite all his pride, is also one of my favorite things about him

Season 2 does hint at something, so that's pretty cool!

Side note, I really love that his theme in the new Oracle series is "Change," the melting of ice.

So what was the anime supposed to do??

Of course there's no way to show all this in a single episode or even during the runtime of the anime, and I never expected them to because the story is very surface-level (that goes for all characters).

It's just unfortunate since the anime is the most accessible and well-known utapri media in the western fandom, and the character's main episode is bound to leave the biggest impression.

I understand the choice of being laser-focused on the servant plotline, it's supposed to be funny (?) and waters him down to a trope that's easy to understand at first glance (the step-on-me guy I guess)

Still, I can't help but compare it to Ranmaru's episode, who was also hard to work with in the games but was chill in S3E7 and got to pet cats. Anime onlys will never know how much Camus loves to dote on his dog smh.....

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

Can’t even lie man I’ve been offline all day and i immediately went to your blog to read your takes on the session and Pearl n gem n co. after watching some wild life. Thanks for having the best takes lol

genuinely, it’s an honour. crazy to me that anyone would come to this blog for good takes, they never make any sense and i’m always suspiciously resentful towards c!scott. i’ll take this opportunity to lay out my gempearl thoughts as well

first of all, it drives me insane the way pearl usually goes along with whatever scott and cleo says, but the only thing she consistently, and has repeatedly, contradicted them on is that she’s been antagonising gem. in fact at the start of the session scott poked her about it again and she laid out a short monologue to assert that his claims were invalid. funnily enough she goes back on this a few seconds later saying that “i’ll make her have a reason to hold that grudge” which honestly is not helping her case. however if gem can make vague threats about impulse i don’t see why pearl can’t do the same. women’s wrongs and all that.

and then after that scott tells impulse and pearl to apologise to gem and joel. again, it’s a bit odd to me how they keep harping on this bit, but every time they do, all they do is scold impulse for rightfully constantly accusing gem over the cows, and then impulse apologises, yet pearl is still implicated (for NOTHING). pearl did protest this point earlier that she was “just existing”, scott counters that “i don’t know what you’ve done but you’ve annoyed her”, so “keep your distance”.

and to think that the argument only happened because scott made a throwaway comment about a “request” he had for pearl if she wanted a life from him. i feel like he meant it as a funny aside and expected pearl to just shut up and take it, but pearl never shuts up and takes it so that’s the problem there.

also, on secret life: pearl argues that she was right to ally with scar, which like, okay, fair enough, but scott says that “it takes time” and that “look we’re together” i’m not sure why he’s under the perception that GGG is in anyway functional or healthy considering he himself is trashtalking impulse and pearl with gem geminitay (ok sorry i’m just salty over him being buddy buddy with gem). at one point cleo goes “we have to be enablers” (lowkey incorrect because pearl hasn’t done anything, you can’t enable someone to just do nothing, but i appreciate the sentiment) and pearl just starts. throwing eggs at the ground. really funny out of context.

now for the actual gempearl interaction (we get like one and a half per episode i’m actually starving). they’re so obsessed with each other. trust me i said so. pearl beelining to gem to say “hi gem! :D” and gem beelining to pearl to punch her and say “go home pearl” oh they make me ill i feel like they’re just constantly on each other’s minds. the problem is that we haven’t gotten a good gempearl interaction because when they’re near each other their allies are also hanging around, so it always ends up with gem getting glazed by scott or pearl getting distracted by bigb or something like that. it’s such a pity because gem specifically went to find the 4Gs’ base but she went to the old one instead of the new one where pearl was hanging around so we could have potentially gotten a 1 on 1 shiny duo interaction this session (i’m not sure about the timeline there) but we DIDN’T because gem’s not talked to the 4Gs enough to know that they moved bases. grrr.

and then gem drops the anger for a bit to encourage pearl to kill grian. i have NO idea what that’s about, i feel like she’s just into bloodthirst in general but what it does remind me of is her trying to convince pearl to kill the ender dragon in SL, coincidentally, when pearl was impulse’s butler. and now she’s encouraging pearl to carry out what impulse wants. i don’t know. maybe her type is murderers and she’s trying to give pearl a chance. or something

anyway as for the other half an interaction where gem finds etho pearl and cleo at her base, gem reverts back to loudly disparaging pearl within earshot. i feel like she’s nailed “ex who really wants you to know that you’re exes”, and pearl getting so indignant about it she can’t even form a sentence for a few seconds is great actually. might be a reach but whether on hermitcraft or life series, pearl tends to stumble over her words a lot when directly challenged by gem, which is probably just because she’s thinking hard on what to say and is sleep deprived half the time. but i find it pretty telling that pearl doesn’t say anything back to gem and just. leaves. it’s very obvious she’s still down bad for gem in a way but gem is intentionally making it very hard for pearl to remain so.

last paragraph. when joel visits pearl at their new base, joel is happy that pearl called his build a car and said she liked it (pearl likes cars fork found in kitchen). so joel and pearl are on good terms, which i expect would lead to interesting dynamics but at the same time joel would definitely follow gem’s lead over maintain that friendship but still his perception of pearl now is positive. so that’s intriguing

song of the day is down bad by taylor swift. trust me guys they want each other so bad

[persistentplums]

No matter what you think about Brock and Rusty one thing is true they raised those boys together. And anyone will tell you kids pick up qualities of their guardians/parents which influences how they go about things.

The influence of Brock on Hank is simple, it’s the one the show starts off with and we see easily throughout the show. I wish they could’ve done more with Dean and Brock, unfortunately they don’t overlap enough to do something with but when they have overlapped the small moments, you stretch it you can see the impact Brock has on Dean.

“He believes in this stuff, not like Hank.”

“I have watched you pull a man eye from his head, made him dance like marionette with his own optic nerves.” “At least I didn’t break his heart.”

Heart is Brock entire thing. He is punished for his act of heart going against OSI and getting Billy and Pete together, him racing back in PROM, his attachment to the Ventures, and funny enough his lack of any real love life is because Brock does things true to his heart even when he’s not supposed to (“you’re a tool for the government.”)

That’s super easy to see in Hank, he follows his guns, jumps in, doesn’t second guess if he’s wrong. For Dean it comes out in belief of there being Good Guys. Something Brock shares. For a man who has no real issue with murder the idea of “Good guys” is a thing he sticks with very seriously. Dean copies this to a Dorky level coming off naive but it’s literally the same packaged differently.

Hank knows though everyone is just some guy, a bad guy or a good guy you are just some guy. A lot like his dad in that respect, when you understand this is all a game you can’t really bother with genuinely thinking of sides just how you interact within it. (Hank not really put off about dating Sirena even if her dad is his dad arch. That’s more of an obstacle that they are put into arch and protag categories so he can’t date her normally bc it’s not an actual *thing* for him)

Dean however is under the firm belief there are sides, they can work together sometimes bc he’s seen it, but like Brock, he believes in sides and gets riled up by it.

Speaking of riled up, Dean has Brock temper. I didn’t think much about it to be honest, it shows itself twice physically (Rusty Camp, radiant of the baboon) but when I hop around episodes now I see it in newer episodes. Dean temper is similar to Brock when he is really pushed off the need to protect or save another quality that is picked up by Brock.

Brock aggression is something Dean who is used to seeing it come out when he, hank and doc need protecting, saving, or an affective tactic. Another thing is Brock was and probably still is both boys example of classic masculinity in contrast to their dad (I’ll get back to this on another post.) I think Dean unintentionally mimics it, and I kinda believe we would’ve seen more of it if Dean was put into more situations where he was worried for someone else since the Rusty camp one was for Triana and the movie was for Hank. (Both against Dermontt which shouldn’t count but I am which I will get to in a different post about jealousy in VB)

Brock is the stereotypical “man” he protects the home, he kills to protect, his basics are that man spiel I don’t need to say we know it. Brock masculinity is never questioned really, it oozes out of him and is loudly punctuated. When it comes to sex it’s the same thing, to a problem. I think Dean inherited that, im not saying the one time Dean did a shitty sex related thing makes him like Brock but I actually think it’s more of a Brock move than Rusty weirdly enough. Probably because Brock has hooked up with people wives/gf but that’s not the reason why I say it.

Dean reason with hooking up with Sirena wasn’t really solid, because I don’t think there was a solid reason he did it just because it was happening. That’s why I think it’s more of a Brock move. Rusty we’ve seen talked himself out of being with women who even like him, yes he hooked up with a fan bc she was a fan. She wasn’t someone who can end up seeing his flaws, end up maybe loving back because love is frightening for Rusty because he wants it. If there was a room and a woman who was slightly interested in Rusty, Rusty would magically get out of the room then COMPLAIN he is out the room. We see it repeatedly he will make up reasons really get in his head to jump ship only to stick to people who don’t love him. Or like him.

Hank is the same line but opposite, he is open to love! Yes like Brock his attention to who is quick and focused but Hank is committed because he wants to be loved. Hank is scared of not being loved, he worries although less obviously or loudly about it, and leans hard into it. Action man called him on it, that he resembles Rusty in being downright too attached.

I’ll be honest here it’s so unlikely to actually see it but once you see the Rusty in Hank you’ll end up seeing the Brock in Dean. I remember a YouTube comment saying “Dean is all the negatives [of other people] it’s why I don’t like him.”

I don’t hate Dean, I don’t love Dean but I get Dean so while I don’t 100% agree with that comment I do get it. Dean picks up sometimes the worst traits because he’s so easy to imprint on. He’s funny like that, weirdly easy to leave an impression on but unaware how he repeats things of people he doesn’t want to. Brock being promiscuous, Rusty nostalgic past, the idea of what is important to a man etc Dean mimics it unknowingly. I don’t think that was the root of hooking up with Sirena, (bc the reason is bs yall) I’m just thinking of domino effect of parenting.

There’s a lot of Rusty in Dean literally everything Dean has is Rusty. But where they don’t match up are the core, Dean now understands his dad and they are the same brand of Venture boy but I really think Brock influence on both boys is there for good and bad it just harder to find in Dean. But I think it comes out when Dean stops letting his mind run too much, when he trusts himself, when he’s standing up for something, when he lets his body drive.

But I’m just spitballing! I just don’t believe Dean is all Doc, just like Hank isn’t all Brock. We just didn’t get a lot of time with the boys switched around

[cherryloveruwu]

👁Mona Lanius second moodboard and headcanons🚬

TW:blood, syringe, maybe disturbing images, mention of drinking ur!ne (eww), smoking/cigarettes, mention of corpses, hint of cannibalism, hint of alcohol

🩸A heavy smoker, always trying to find cigarettes in the homes of her victims. Packs are scattered throughout the factory so that Mona can smoke whenever she wants.

🩸When she sleeps, she presses her knees almost to her forehead, hugging herself with her arms. But in general, she rarely sleeps, and if she does, it’s not for long. Sometimes she sleeps hugging some corpse or Bill (more often with Bill because he’s warm and snores funny)

🩸Often suffers from back pain due to slouching and can’t straighten her back even for a few seconds. There was an attempt to make Bill walk on her back, but despite her rather broad shoulders, he still lost his balance and fell.

🩸Doesn’t recognize cinema and music, considering only drawing to be a “normal” activity.

🩸Despite the fact that she and Bill don't really eat, and if they do, it's raw meat (guess whose), Mona actually knows how to cook and can whip up something simple.

🩸She likes birds, she loves to admire them while she and Bill walk to the next house.

🩸Bill, when he hadn't yet completely begun to consider himself a dog, explained to Mona in words how to drive a car. She understood little.

🩸She collects dolls (mostly porcelain) that she finds in the houses of her victims. She thinks that they look like her and that they are her children, she gives them names and sometimes plays mother-daughters (Bill is in shock about this). They are hidden in the most secluded place of the textile factory.

🩸She also collects combs.

🩸In addition to drawing and cooking, she sews well. She was the one who sewed the twins. She sewed the skin on the mannequin found at the factory for herself, she wanted to "update her wardrobe".

🩸Unlike Bill, she allowed herself to take a shower a couple of times during the break-in.

🩸She smells like a mixture of sweat, paint, some kind of chemicals and cigarettes.

🩸She doesn't mind drinking something alcoholic, but not beer. She HATES beer. Once Bill gave her a try, after which she made him drink ur!ne. Well, what, it's just as nasty and yellow!

🩸She can stare at one point and think about something of her own for hours, and she can start doing this at any moment. Mona doesn't control this, and in order to bring her to her senses, Bill has to give her a painful slap in the face.

🩸When she concentrates or gets nervous, she starts to knead her b00bs.

🩸She is very worried about her flimsy hair and when she notices even one hair falling out, she starts to panic. And the older she gets, the more often her hair falls out.

🩸Sadomaso, she walks barefoot because she likes how her feet prick (+ it's silent).

🩸According to the timeline in FACES, she is 31 years old, and in HELL, she is 36 years old.

[tubbytarchia]

Wild Life Session 4 smallidarity thoughts (+ some Scar and Lizzie)

See it was all fine, nothing to worry about!! Joel couldn't bring himself to kill Jimmy, he barely even harmed him. I'm pretty sure he shot him just once (after Jimmy trampled their crops so. fair)? Joel calmed down, he rebuilt his car, everything is fine. He says at the start that he's wary of Jimmy because of him going after Joel last time, and that's about it for the time being

Jimmy dies and Joel makes a deal out of it and calls him a muppet. As per usual. Meanwhile Jimmy is still adamant to get at Joel whilst Scar tries to deter him because they want to be an alliance

He and Jimmy meet up at some point after their brief interaction at the start where Joel shot him, and they just banter. And Gem and Scar are just standing there like "guyss we're a family come on" meanwhile Joel and Jimmy's exchange goes as follows: Jimmy: "you're the ones with tasty lives!" Joel: "yeah bet you wish you could have a chunk of me!" "Oh I'm having a chunk out of you!" "Yeah and you know where to take that chunk out of!" "Oh I'm gonna take it! I'm taking it!" "You should!" And then Gem and Scar tell them to break it up and Joel goes "we're just flirting!!" ? what the fuck? Genuinely WHAT are they talking about. is this an innuendo of some sort. is this another ambiguous smallidarity sex scene sorry who said that

Jimmy gets a double kill (in the most adorable way btw. The way he weasels his way in there and backs off and comes back to try again all crouched. animal) and goddd people hyping him up is so so sweet. He deserves this. He's also a little bit evil, he's getting the murder rush but I'm happy for him. He needs to kill more people, he needs to get this out of his system, he deserves this, things need to get worse before they get better. ANYWAY Scar all "that was the greatest kill ever on the life series" is so cute. And man I gotta agree. There's more unique and funny and impressive kills but I would not mind calling this the best just for the fact that it's Jimmy. He's competent, he can do shit like this, but it feels like most everyone and the world is continuously against his survival, but here he is... my son...

And then Joel coming up to congratulate him... Really blummin cute. In Joel's POV also, he says "I went to congratulate Jimmy and we had a moment" which I wager he might be referring to the creeper incident as 'the moment' but that'd make no sense to call it that. With that tonation. Why did he say it like that. Stop being cute

But yeah Scar tries to blow Joel up with creepers only for Joel to save him from his own creeper and he's so casual about it. He is incredibly kind to the bamboozlers, it's really cute...

And then Jimmy does it!! He gets Joel!! And he gets him real good!! And can you believe that the first person to kill either of the family duo is Jimmy, of all people. Scott has died by this point too and Jimmy is the one to make a dent in the full 6-life alliance. Crazy. I'm so proud of him. It was seriously really good too, see, when Jimmy puts his mind to something and is able to focus he excels, he really does. And Joel, oh Joel is such a good sport about it. He keeps saying how it was good and fair and that he still wants an allyship with him. Tells him "welcome back to green" aww. And they make a truce, Jimmy got it out of his system and now they can be friends and go kill other people instead and Joel is proud of him... Jimmy "Joel, I finally got you, so I will stop now, so let's do the perfect dap" and then they both count down and clap their hands to simulate slapping palms. Awesome. All of Joel and Jimmy is just really cute this time around. Very happy about them being a more proper alliance now, but we'll see if it sticks... Joel can only be so mean to Jimmy at this point though I don't think he has it in him to betray him or anything lol. Can't speak for the rest of them but not too worried for the smallidarity, it's a plentiful crop...

Also a very important exchange between Lizzie and Jimmy at some point: "I just finangled a load of diamonds off of Joel" "Oh? How did you do that?" "I asked him just really nicely" (lie btw she was moreso extorting Joel) "Oh, that doesn't work when I... I guess... you are his wife, I guess..." "Yeah..." "Lucky for some I guess- right (unrelated topic)" I'm not 100% confident that's what Jimmy said at the end, it's a bit hard to make out but. what? Hello?

I also extend gratitude towards Lizzie for being so nice and supportive of Jimmy, she was the one to suggest the cobweb creeper trap that ended up taking Joel out, but she also insisted that he drink a health restoration stew beforehand in case anything went wrong. Jimmy didn't end up doing so (he was full) and Lizzie is all "why?" and "something could have gone wrong". man. Nice to him...

[mogamuncher]

Heeeey I'm back again with another tidbit of the Slay the Knight AU (AKA: the Re:Zero and Slay the Princess crossover au)

Anyways due to some of y'all's amazing suggestion, I think I have a lot more ideas to rave about rn, mostly about the voices, but also some about the different Barus that this au would have!

Ok so, first the voices:

Voice of the Hero - Voice of the Noble: Julius.

Voice of the Contrarian - Voice of the Opposed: Ram

Voice of the Opportunist- Voice of the Cunning: Anastasia

Voice of the Cold - Voice of the Shut-in: Beatrice

Voice of the Paranoid - Voice of the Troubled: Otto

Voice of the Stubborn - Voice of the Proud: Priscilla

Voice of the Hunted - Voice of the Protector (shield, get it?): Garfield

Voice of the Cheated - Voice of the Wronged: Felt

Voice of the Skeptic - Voice of the Cynic: Pick

Voice of the Smitten - Voice of the Devoted: Rem

Voice of the Broken - Voice of the Selfless: Reinhard

I think that's all the voices but I might be wrong. . Uhhh anyways here they all are! Again a lot of these are from suggestions, but I really liked them! Some names are still iffy (Felt and Garfiel could definitely be improved upon I think) but I do like the character placements!

My favorite thing to think about is which route these voices will interact with, since all the Barus will be very. . . Interesting.

Speaking of the Barus, here's some ideas I had for their princess equivalents, with pictures!

So, first, to get it out of the way: The Witch

100% Wrathbaru, there's not a single bone in my body that says otherwise. The Witch route is all about distrust, it's all about how you betrayed the Princess and so she betrayed and beat up you, there's even a reference to the Frog and the Scorpion fable in her route, a fable all about trusting someone only to get hurt in doing so. Hell, the characteristic voice for her route is Voice of the Opportunist, who's singlehandedly the voice that should be trusted the least

Meanwhile in the Wrath IF route, Wrathbaru was specifically incredibly paranoid and distrustful to the point where he stopped seeing color, only ever seeing color in people who he fully trusted, mainly because he knew for certain where they stood emotionally when it came to him either through consistency across loops (Beatrice and Emilia) or because he knows that they just hate him (Ram and also kinda Emilia)

The point is, Wrathbaru absolutely would be the Witch equivalent, if only for the themes alone, though he's a lot somber than the very playful Witch.

Also, catboy Wrathbaru, enough said.

Though if Wrathbaru is The Witch then The Thorn will definitely be really interesting

I like to think that Wrathbaru in the Thorn would still be very jumpy and paranoid, instead of the gentle show of trust in the og game, Emilia (The Long Quiet) would have to drag Wrathbaru out of those vines kicking and screaming

Having Rem, Julius and Anastasia harassing Echidna (The Narrator) about describing a kiss with Wrathbaru would be absolutely hilarious though, absolutely peak fiction

Now, let's please talk about The Damsel

So, we can like, all agree that this is arc 1-2 Baru, right? Just straight up that Subaru, but with more bimbo energy

Rem here would be fun, though she probably wouldn't say things in the exact same manner the Smitten does, she can still be really funny with her Subaru crush, as seen in the snow special

Ok, so like, we got the Damsel figured out, cool.

Now, Happily Ever After, on the other hand

Ok so this is pristine cut content, so definitely some big spoilers, but:

Greebaru. Just, 100%, 1000% Greedbaru coded. There's not a single princess that could ever rival the Greedbaru-ness of this princess in the entire game

Just, him and Emilia being literally controlled the entire time, the idea of Echidna slowly growing disillusioned as the route goes on as she sees where her meddling will take her, the constant repetition and Subaru's desperation that doing things again and again will fix it, the fact that REM I would be the one orchestrating all of this???

Just, how utterly miserable everyone is inside of this route, it's simply Greed IF core. Everyone knows that Greed IF is the IF where no one gets to be happy despite everything technically being "alright", which is exactly the vibes that this route has!

Also, going from Arc 1-2 Subaru to Greed IF Subaru would be such a drastic jump, I love it

Greebaru would be a lot calmer than the og princess in this route, think lots of fake smiles and call insistance that slowly becomes hysterical desperation

Also, dancing with Greebaru under the stars, enough said

For other standouts:

The Den

We get to have a full monster Baru!

He'll probably be a chimera type beast that's a ground dragon (Petrasche reference ayy) mixed with a rabbit (hah) with a big horn on his forehead and Cappella-esque wings

There's no way to really stick his iconic slicked back hair on a rabbit head without it looking a bit goofy, so I propose we let Subaru grow his hair out and have it down for this one

The Razor:

For some reason I cannot possibly describe to you, I keep thinking of her equivalent being Pridebaru. No seriously do not ask me why, I don't know either

Maybe it's because she's the most affably murder happy one? Then again there's the Adversary. . . Anyways if she were to be Pridebaru then I suggest an added fire motif, along with the blades

The blades can mainly stay due to the association with Elsa, in fact, maybe this Baru can specifically only ever target Emilia's guts when he goes to skewer her

Also Mutually Assured Destruction

That entire interaction will be hilarious now. Rem finding this beautiful, Priscilla saying it's the perfect man, Ram wondering if he can be thrown out of a window??? Mwah, perfection

I also would like if there was a fire motif there, maybe he can also he on fire

The Nightmare

My beloved, because he would mean we get to hear Otto do the "Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves" chant, but also I have no clue what Baru he would even be

Maybe Gluttony??? A Moment of Clarity would make Gluttony an interesting pick here, but I don't know for sure

Other than that I'm still brainstorming ideas, and ofc taking suggestions, so feel free to tell me what y'all think!