#does it suck? absolutely
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mizuta · 11 months ago
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there has got to be someone out there who can help solve this problem:
flight rising coliseum, in firefox, is a disgustingly pixelated mess. *except* when you do the following:
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"what did you do here?" i disabled image-rendering:optimizeSpeed using inspect. there has GOT to be a way to do this with a userscript but that is as far as my coding gets me.
this bug has been around since 2017 and literally no long-term fix has been created. what is going on.
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dredshirtroberts · 2 years ago
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I get it. I get why my aunt wanted to push back against the negative view I have of my parents and the family most closely associated with them. I understand why she wanted me to consider their side of things - she's a parent too, after all. And it's hard, it really is, to see a child disown their parents instead of the other way around. It's hard to see it the other way around too, don't get me wrong, but like. Kids aren't "supposed" to disown their parents.
I don't doubt that my parents believe with their whole chests that they love me and have done their very best with me - in fact i agree that they did their very best with me that they possibly could have.
Their best was just bad. Because I was self-sufficient it makes sense that they assumed i didn't need their help - wrong though that assumption may be. They were young, they were figuring out what to do next now that they both had a kid and a spouse they weren't super sure they were ready for. I get it.
Also that's her older brother i'm shit talking, and I do acknowledge the things they have done for me that were good. Because even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
But they ignored me, intentionally or not. They dismissed my interests or made fun of them so hard that I not only stopped bringing them up on my own, but I have a hard time engaging with some of them to this day because i was shamed out of enjoying it. They do not ask about what else I do because they do not care to learn if they have anything in common with me anymore.
Dad was passive aggressive as fuck about me setting a reasonable boundary. My aunt was immediately just "Sounds good, I can do that, I wanna hear about your personal life more anyway."
And you know what? I've literally never had any single person in my family do that for me and actually pay attention as I talked and asked me questions about things. And that's what she can't see, when I say that my parents see me only as a status symbol. That's why she pushes back and says that of course it's different - they wouldn't say horrible negative things about me being a leftist/"liberal", queer, Weirdo because I'm their kid.
Except i heard what they said about *her* and she's closer to center than I am. I heard what they said about anyone who was left of where they were. It...was not kind.
at best, they called people stupid for thinking the way they did. Brainwashed. I won't repeat at worst, for my own sake.
Anyone who falls away from their path is unintelligent or gullible or easily swayed and manipulated. Anyone who does not think the way they do after being presented with their facts is an idiot. I am likely labeled both, whether they say the words or not. I have received the patronizing smiles and the polite capitulations that say very clearly that i just don't know what i'm talking about, even if—especially if—i know more on the subject than they do.
I don't blame her, though. And it...didn't hurt as much to have her push back on it. I get it. I didn't want to know these things about my parents either. I didn't want to see it happen at me. I didn't want to realize how things were going.
My parents are not good people. At best they are polite. I will not say what they are at worst. Not tonight.
But tonight I will say that I had one of the most fulfilling conversations with a family member I've ever had. I will say that I felt loved and respected the whole meal. I am looking forward to getting to know her—and everyone else my parents spoke poorly of behind their backs—and have a relationship with her. I'm finally looking forward to the future and it...it looks safe. And filled with family—found and otherwise—who love me.
Tonight I had a good time.
Plus also we looked hella good for being out in a proper sitdown restaurant for the first time since moving up here lol.
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demaparbat-hp · 3 months ago
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Toph as a Goalball player 💪💚
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spaciebabie · 1 year ago
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papyrus does his taxes ☹☹☹☹☹
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fallstaticexit · 2 months ago
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Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort
Transcript under the cut
Geoffrey: So, our anniversary is coming up. I was thinking maybe we could plan a getaway. Somewhere really nice. What do you think? Nancy?
[Nancy snores lightly]
Nancy Narrates: [It was all starting to wear on me-]
Geoffrey: [softly] Goodnight Nance. I love you.
Nancy: [murmurs] m ‘love you...Vanessa.
Nancy Narrates: [Having to balance the many sides of me]
Nancy Narrates: [There was the Nancy that was a Theta]
Nancy Narrates: [The Nancy that was free]
Nancy Narrates: [The Nancy that was an honest, loving girlfriend]
Geoffrey: Date night tonight?
Nancy: I- have a thing with the Thetas. Maybe another night?
Geoffrey: You know, I’m happy you’re putting yourself out there. I’m proud of you.
Extra Loud Stereo Plays: Do Me! - Bell Biv Devoe
Take a good look at me Tell me do you like what you see
Do you think you can Do you think you can do me
Kiss me pretty baby And touch me all over
Girl what makes you think you can do me Do you think you can do me girl?
Do me baby (x2)
-
Geoffrey: Hey, you ever wondered what happened to Vanessa?
Bob: Vanessa? Vanessa Villareal?
Geoffrey: Yeah. When we came back from break, she just- vanished.
Bob: Yeah, that was crazy, huh? I talked to Cassie about it once. She said it reminded her of that whole Angela thing that happened junior year.
Geoffrey: What Angela thing?
Bob: You don’t know about the Angela thing!?
Geoffrey: [chuckles] No one told me about it! It was like a urban legend.
Bob: Vanessa and her mean girl squad ganged up on her and started bullying her because they thought she was a lesbian or something.
Geoffrey: No way. Was she?
Bob: I dunno. I mean, she was always hanging on to Vanessa. I guess that’s where the rumors started. Anyway, Cassie thinks maybe people were starting to talk about her and Nancy. They were close too.
Geoffrey: What? Why didn’t you guys tell me?
Bob: Dude, it’s just gossip. We can’t know for sure that’s what happened. Vanessa was always getting sent to the office, she probably got expelled.
Geoffrey: Yeah...
Bob: Are you ok, man?
Geoffrey: I think maybe that’s why Nancy’s been so down all this time. I think she misses Vanessa.
Bob: Probably, friendships between women are really intense.
-
Darling: [groans] I can’t believe I have class in 5 hours. I’m screwed.
Nancy: [laughs] Who told us to throw a rager on a Thursday?
Darling: Hey, we’re still in better shape than those two over there.
Nancy: The Thetas? More like tea parties.
Darling: [laughs] Hell nah.
Nancy: Should we check if they have a pulse?
Darling: [chuckles] Man, they can’t handle their liquor for shit.
Nancy: Did you meet them through the club?
Darling: Morgan chased me down to do a tarot reading one day.
Nancy: Ah. She got you too, did she?
Darling: I kinda like that stuff, you know, like zodiac signs and all that. Tells you alot about a person. Speaking of, what’s your sign?
Nancy: I have no idea. Maybe I’m a Pisces?
Darling: When’s your birthday?
Nancy: January 17th.
Darling: Huh, no shit? You’re a Capricorn. I’m a Virgo.
Nancy: What does that mean?
Darling: For one, means we’re compatible.
Nancy: Oh? How can you tell?
Darling: We’re both earth signs, means we grounded. We want the real thing.
Nancy: I don’t know what I want.
Darling: I think you do though. I think you don’t want to say it.
Nancy: What don’t I want to say?
Darling: You tell me.
Nancy: Well. I guess... I guess I have alot of questions.
Darling: Like what? Keep it real, it’s just me.
Nancy: Well.. How do you know that you’re- you know.
Darling: What, into girls? I’ve always known.
Nancy: But how do you know for sure?
Darling: I was probably born this way. I never looked at guys the way I look at women. I love everything about them. I love the way they smell, the way they feel. I’m probably crazy about them. It’s wired in my brain.
Nancy: Have you ever kissed a girl?
Darling: [chuckles]
Nancy: Don’t laugh...
Darling: You’re right, you’re right, my bad. Yeah, Nancy. I’ve done alot more than kissing though.
Nancy: Oh. You mean...like sex?
Darling: Yeah. Like sex.
Darling: Oh. I guess that means you’re done asking questions.
Nancy: ....What is it like?
Darling: Kissing?
Nancy: I know about kissing. I mean [clears throat] the sex. With a girl. What does it feel like?
Darling: You really wanna know?
Nancy: Well. I asked, didn’t I?
Darling: Alright. Give me your hand.
Darling: You wanna know?
Nancy: [swallows] Mhm..
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mekha-draws · 6 months ago
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For how much it keeps being mentioned, I almost want the last reward to not be Fathom egg/scrolls but Scale Scurvy instead (as a tert, the same way gembond is)
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egophiliac · 2 years ago
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(it probably wasn't actually Idia's fault)
(or was it)
some quick initial reactions to celebrate Diasomnia Day One! it felt like a bit of a short intro, but oh, what a tasting menu of things to come.
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sjweminem · 2 months ago
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sforzesco · 1 year ago
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CAESAR AUGUSTUS AND MARCUS LICINIUS CRASSUS
this is about the spolia opima that crassus was robbed of lmao. like, yeah okay octavian could've asked him not to claim it, but nevertheless. a kind of theft happened there.
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Fact and Fiction: Crassus, Augustus, and the Spolia Opima, Catherine McPherson
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serpentface · 6 months ago
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Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.
Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.
Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.
Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).
It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.
The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.
A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.
Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.
The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.
It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).
This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.
To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.
Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.
They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).
In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.
#Their relationship is probably my favorite one in this story but there is literally so much going on. Hard to introduce it properly#This doesn't even get into all of it#Do want to make it clear that Brakul is like. Nice on an interpersonal level but he fucking sucks and is not the victim in this dynamic#He's very selfish. He builds his life around having his cake and eating it too and then moping and being sad and etc when he can't#escape the consequences of hurting people around him#I don't like writing dynamics where one person is like the absolute perfect innocent victim like. Hibrides does some just plain#cruel shit to him. But she's REALLY going through it. She's isolated and lonely and the only person in her life who has loved#her in the past decade won't put his own personal interests aside to actually Help Her. And then has the audacity to mope to her about#how sad that makes him.#He at least has a (fucked up and messy but) devoted partnership with a guy who ADORES him and perpetually enables him#While Hibrides is very shy and finds it hard to break out of isolation. She doesn't really have anyone to rely on.#She does have other people in her life in general though. Faiza has always been pretty kind to her and was a major support in#helping her manage her children's affairs and being provided for. But they aren't really friends it's kind of a familial obligation#Couya had been an enigma to her and rarely present (because she hates Janeys) but she's forced to be around him more#towards the start of the story and thus has started to actually interact with Hibrides. They befriend each other and have stuff going#on during the story#hibrides uryashta#brakul red dog#Anyway extreme side note I did warn that there would be like a dozen characters with Erub_ names as well as two major cities and a river#It gets like that with legendary founder figures
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jadewritesficshere · 2 years ago
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Painting
Modern!Eddie Munson x Female!Reader
Contains: nudes, mutual masturbation, phone sex
18+ only
Eddie flopped face down onto his mattress with a sigh. After working all day, playing at the Hideout, and then hauling all of the bands' equipment, he was wiped. He wanted nothing more then to smoke and go to sleep. His phone pinged with a notification. A contact under the name "Loser" had messaged him, causing a split second of confusion before a lazy grin spread across his face when he realized it was you (he had forgotten he changed it when high). You had been unable to come see Corroded Coffin play tonight as you had made previous plans.
Loser: How did it go?? Good?? Bad??
Loser: Was that one chick who wants to be a groupie there??
Eddie: went ok. Y u jealous?
Loser: just curious lol
Eddie: sure. Wbu?
Loser: Good! Robin and Nancy came. We had a nice dinner. We did paintings! Robin's looks better then mine. Mine looks like shit 😔 now just taking a bath and relaxing.
Eddie: show me?
Loser: lol no???
Eddie: y not? I'm sure it good
Loser: you sure?
Eddie: yes
Loser: fine
Eddie doubted your painting looked bad. You always tore yourself down, even when you did amazing things. He always wanted to throttle you, but knew he would be a hypocrite if he did. Eddie rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. He would convince you one day that you were awesome, but until then he would just have to keep reminding you. His phone dinged with a new message from you. He opened it and saw a picture attached and-
Immediately dropped his phone. His heart picked up speed. His eyes widened and face flushed. Eddie dove for the phone as if it were a life preserver and he was drowning. He couldn't believe his eyes. He licked his lips and stared at his phone.
A picture from your neck down. Bubbles in the bath around you. Water was running down your collarbone towards your tits. Your nipples barely covered by the bubbles. One boob having no bubbles around it at all, but your hand flipping him off blocked him from seeing more. He was greedy. He wanted to see more, and had never imagined you would send him this to begin with. Eddie looked down at the tent that had formed in his boxers.
Loser: ask nicely next time 😤
Eddie groaned and his dick twitched. You had totally misunderstood him, he had wanted to see your painting- of course he was more then glad for this outcome. However, he couldn't quite unsee what you had sent, nor would he want to. Eddie reread your text. Next time means more than just this once. Means maybe he could see more. Means maybe he has a better shot with you then he thought. He already overthought things with you many times, and now his brain had just switched to overdrive.
A million thoughts ran through his head as his hand traveled south. He paused briefly," Oh fuck it." He grabbed his dick over his boxers, causing the outline to be very noticeable. He took a pic before sending it to you. He would have felt bad about not sending a message with it, but he would have sat there for ages trying to think of a response. And he couldn't find it in himself to care as he pressed lightly against his dick.
He dropped his phone on his stomach. All Eddie could think about was you as he pulled his dick out of his boxers. Your soap covered tits. How beautiful they looked.. He licked his hand before slowly grasping his dick and squeezing the base, causing the tip to flush more. The pressure causing him to moan. He slowly stroked up and down his length. He picked up the pace, canting his hips up to meet his hand. Part of him wanted to go slow, but the rest of him wanted to get this over with quick so he could do it again and again and again. His chest heaved and sweat started to form on his brow. A sigh fell from his lips that quickly turned to a moan at the thought of it being your hand wrapped around him. How small your hand would look on his dick. How-
His stomach tensed and he jolted as his phone started vibrating and your ringtone played. The vibrations on his lower stomach felt so good, he was tempted to let it keep playing, but the urge to hear your voice was stronger. With his free hand he grabbed the phone and answered. "H-hello?" Eddie asked, panting into the phone. "Oh fuck, Eddie," your voice higher than normal sounded like music to his ears. Eddie moaned and your response was a whimper. "Fuck babe, see what you do to me?" Eddie's voice felt like sandpaper, he was surprised he could even find words. "Uh-huh." The sound of water splashing caught Eddie's attention," holy shit. Are you touching yourself?" "Wish it were you."
Eddie's mind went fuzzy as he picked up speed. The schlick noise picking up, his mind filtering out everything except your moans. "Sound so good. Wish I was there." Eddie mumbled, feeling his tip leaking generously. He was so close. "Fuuuck Eddie I'm gonna-" your sentence was cut off with a moan and he lost it. His hips bucked without rhythm and cum spurted everywhere. He never understood the phrase of people seeing stars behind their eyes until now, but they were more like fireworks. He had never cum this much in his life, not even when he had first found porn.
He slowly came back down, a euphoric feeling enveloping him. A warmth spread in his chest as it heaved, trying to catch a breath. He looked down and saw his shirt covered with his release. Your chuckle pulled him back to earth. "Uh so that happened...so whatcha gonna do about it Munson?" He hummed," Think i should ask you for a date." "You should."
Eddie had the biggest grin when you finally got off the phone, date planned for Friday night. He looked down at your contact name before changing the s to a v. He was going to find that painting you did and make sure it hung over his bed, so he could remember this night forever.
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monstermoviedean · 7 months ago
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dean is the only reason kevin makes it past 08x01 so jot that down
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bumblesimagines · 17 days ago
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the rudy hate train is crazyy
OBX Fans: *Harass Rudy and Madison for YEARS about Jiara, harass their partners, scream and cry over Jiara, ship them irl to the point they get uncomfortable*
OBX Fans when actions have consequences:
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Somewhat spoilers below but some of you need the reminder that Rudy is still a fairly new actor and OBX was his big break. It can be overwhelming and we've seen time and time again how easily fame breaks people, especially when it's sudden. An example? After sudden fame and going viral, Chappell Roan now suffers from depression. You shouldn't need to be told to care about the mental health and privacy of others.
Whether or not Rudy wanted out of the show, I support him. No, it is not unprofessional or selfish for him to put HIMSELF first. We do not know if it was Rudy or the Pates idea to end his arc like this but it does not warrant acting bitchy toward him.
How many times are we gonna watch actors crumble under the pressure, stress, and AUDACITY of fans before we realize they aren't fucking machines?
A lot of people in the tags need to learn some basic fucking empathy because you know what it reminds me of when people treat actors like this? How the people of the Capitol treat Victors in THG. With little to no respect.
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aroanthy · 8 months ago
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i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc
#what am i trying to say here?#idk! think about all of the pieces you have#dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways#and i find it boring to see so much ‘this character is dead and that’s it’ stuff#when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for#and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death#and what ‘dying’ really means#being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this#much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is#to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist he’s alive and can walk on this road all cool. like?????#akio doesn’t have the power to make himself revenant#he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when he’s alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him#but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou#he’s dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or she’s left him (metaphorical death) and he’s haunting her??#all such interesting interpretations#i haven’t mentioned touga bc i don’t have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful#like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when he’s alive. his illusory self is based upon anthy’s love for him#if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoever’s memories of him before he died……. why does he actively choose to suck again and again#like nanami wouldn’t do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo he’s dead all along but that’s not what her arc is#it’s not ‘he’s been dead all along’ literally or figuratively. it’s ‘he’s unsafe and i don’t want him’#sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and touga’s dynamic through touga’s eyes#it’s so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING#like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but they’re interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!!#compel me even#anyway ignore how i said i didn’t have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway#dais.txt
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ban--tam · 9 days ago
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anton ferner, what a guy
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skibasyndrome · 2 months ago
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#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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