#does anyone read things this long lol
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(OC Lore and design time!)
(it got longer again ... sorry ... idk how to make things short, i just need to talk, but i guess if you can read the written stuff in the pic thats the barest bare bones of what i wrote here)
i was asked what new lore story stuff i had thought about that made me sad which i mentioned a bit ago, and while that is too hard to explain given all the missing context i thought i could at least talk about lore having to do with it :D
so, (Lord) Eadrya is one of my fav OCs (big blue lad, here a rough sketch in humanoid form) they are both one of if not THE most powerful demon alive and the most battle trained;
at the mid point of the story the demon world gets invaded by the celestials (the angel inspired things i talked about in the previous lore post with Xaror) and Shargon, as the king, should be their first and only frontline, but at this point his life is only being sustained by maschinery after being mortally wounded, he cannot fight (he realizes what is going on, rips himself off the maschinery to get at least his youngest child to safety, barely managing it before dying- the guardian, the demons god, takes over his body to attempt to fight against the celestials but cant keep itself alive long enough since its host is already dead) Eadrya takes the role of the frontline fighter (despite being very full of themselves and aggressive they care about their 'job' of protecting their own, also giving them the chance to show off just how strong they are); the fight was going well for them all things considered, but when the guardian activates it drains the power of all elemental lords (which Eadrya is one of, and since they have the most strength it also takes the most from them), so much so that they lose the fight and suffer deadly wounds (the worst being a spear through the chest made of a material that grows hard, root-like formations when in contact with demonic blood like a fungus but worse, also stopping any self healing processes) after the guardian falls apart it creates a huge shockwave of energy that stuns every living thing within a certain distance and possibly more-
Eadrya (in true demon form, so like a blue whale in size at least) was likely taken through an active gateway to the human world in a large tidal wave also created by the guardians fall; they wash up in the harbor of a small secluded village, the head of which is 'lady 13'; although never having seen a demon before and everyone being afraid (largely thinking its a strange hurt animal, only she suspected otherwise), they still gather all villagers to pull out the celestial spear, which is diffcult and brutal given that its already taken root, but the village lacked both knowledge and means to help any other way- doing so damaged their heart which is how they were able to collect samples of all three demonic blood types ('normal' -red like humans-, energy -essentially purely magic- and heartblood -highly concentrated energy only found within the heart of a demon and the only one to contain genetic material) (this is the start of Eadryas character arc, having to deal with the fact that their world is likely destroyed, them failing what they didnt think they could fail, having lost a battle so badly (even if not really their fault) for the first time and not knowing if literally anyone else has survived .. also being now stuck in the human world, which they dont like)
Lady 13 (placeholder name? stands for experiment 13) is a human that was tricked by demon hunters to enroll into a series of experiments trying to create hybrids of demons and humans, which they hoped would be powerful and easily controllable tools for their endeavours, though the two are inherently not compatible, they tried grafting body parts of demons on humans to make them compatible- all experiments failed except for her, more or less, though she never got to see the hybrid she carried and was then told it had died too, they threw her out believing she wouldnt survive much longer either and all such experiments were cancelled due to the high cost of human life, research material (demons are still rare) and upkeep with no successful results Lady 13 survived though (perhaps even via the pirates picking her up?) and she ended up living in said small village far away, hiding her half demonic body, though most know there soemthing 'wrong' with her (her being this tall when it doesnt fit the rest for one), only few know the full extent; she enjoys the life she has now, perhaps on the more poor side but safer and more loved than ever before; she largely lead the efforts to try and help Eadrya when they ended up in the harbor, though there wasnt that much anyone could do it was still enough- they leave immediately after waking up, but return after really having nowhere to go and struggling to deal with everything that has happened; over time (probably years) they start to open up towards the people there (though not .. very much) enough to get rather close with Lady 13 too- she actually falls madly in love but after Eadrya (extremely aro/ace) rejects all her attempts quite clearly she respects their boundaries
However, after hearing news of potential demon sightings Eadrya decides to leave in hopes of not being the last demon left after all; Lady 13 then decides to reveal her secret to them (though hearing and seeing what lengths hunters would go to for their experiments makes them absolutely seething with rage- she insists on not being out for revenge) and asks if they would be willing to donate a small amount of heartblood; shes always wanted to be a mother but is now incompatible with humans too- through things she picked up back at the experiments facillity, hers and her doctors research she is sure that is all that is needed, she dares to ask since she does not know when, if ever, she will meet another demon, much less one she could actually trust enough for this though Eadrya hesitates (why would she want to go through the same thing again that didnt work and threatened her life, if it does work, do they want to be involved with any of this? what if hunters find out it worked after all?) but after her ensuring that they would have no part in it other than giving up a little blood and would not be considered a parent in any way, nor made responsible for anything that might happen to her, but considering it all in the end they agree to it
only for her to reveal shes had a small bottle of it already, along with multiple samples of the other types, which she collected when Eadrya was bleeding out into the harbor not knowing if they will survive, though not wanting to make use of it without their consent either way (they are actuallly rather touched by this)
alot later the main group returns here and it turns out to have worked (though she is unable to walk/bedridden for a long while bc it did alot of damage to her body, which can heal since its demons parts, but only really slowly bc she does not have a full functioning system and no demonic blood of her own -she uses the other samples for the healing process-) though its a little awkward to explain, especially considering that 13.1 took alot after Eadrya xD (their theory as to why it worked so "well" that time is that even though the sample was already taken, them giving their consent for it still made it less likely to be rejected; demons dont need partners to have offspring, and all can do it, they just have to decide to- so them agreeing to it, even though its long been outside their body, still had an effect on the blood sample)
#ganondoodles#art#ocs#original art#oc lore#demons#monsters#WHY does writing things liek this take me so long#i spent two hours again on this and im falling asleep as we speak bc its almost 2 am#ANYWAY this was alot again ... sorry#but its a relatively new storyline that i have been afraid of telling#since it touches on things im afraid might come across wrong and uses themes im a lil uncomfy with#but i found it interesting ... and works well with eadrya as a character bc it challenges alot about them#yes im wrote and mean this genuinely#i would have made the cut from her human body to the demon parts more smooth ... but this hard cut is the point#so that she looks rather normal on the upper part and can hide the rest#thoguh im unsure about the color scheme and if maybe i should be more creative with the demons parts#then again its largely just legs lol#if anyone actually reads this ........ i hope it comes across correctly#i like to use darker and more mature themes but am riddled with anxiety over how it will be understood#im gonna work on zelda comic stuff again now .. sorry for all the oc spam#but if there are questions PLEASE feel free to ask im pretty sure i have answers to almosst anything?#also i havent thought of a name for her or the kid .. though im starting to like lady 13#13.1 wont do as a name though poor kid deserves a proper name after already being a weird hybrid that shouldnt exist#either way ... going to bed now GOODNIGHT q-q#(any typos are excused by me being deadly tired ok)
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{WIP] He's still out there
#artists on tumblr#nonbinary artist#art#art wip#fanart#dog nightmares#analog#analog horror#internet horror#digital horror#so i decided to delve a little more into horror lately#always have been a huge indie horror fan#something about the aesthetic of dog nightmares really speaks to me#maybe it's just me growing up with pbs kids but#this really puts the nostalgia into nostalgic horror#(i know i should stick to a theme for my art but my interests are all over the place)#(and i decided a long time ago that i'm going to draw things that “spark joy”)#(if it doesn't make me feel excited then i don't draw it)#(... does anyone even read my tags? lol)#tw body horror
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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Insomnia is letting up off and on, but I'm still super jelly brained from it case in point, I want to continue back with posting WIPs for the aired pages, but I can't remember what page I left off on now lmao (guess I'll have to dig through my blog to check... eesh. at least it's decently organized by tags?) Not a result of goo brain, really, but equally "AUGH" is that I let my screen protector go for too long without replacing it and now it's slick as snot and I don't have a replacement handy to put on it. This isn't a resulting consequence of goo brain but it does mean I'm going to be trying to draw without any traction while I'm already loopy. Good times ahead!
#shut up pu#I"ve had problems with insomnia my whole life so I'm sadly used to this#it comes and it goes#and right now it's in the middle of a big angry come#what do you mean that wording is atrocious??#it gets the point across#ordered a new screen for the draw slab so I've at least been proactive in fixing the problem#the only other problem is I hate drawing on brand new fresh screens too lol bad finger feel#only the middle screen is good for both fingies and pens#anyway the parts of chapter 3 I really love are coming up over the horizon#part of me does wish I would have tweaked the pacing of chapter 3 a little when realizing the usual posting schedule wasn't going to work#after real life delays all butted into production time bc chapter 3 was still paced for the 2 - 3 pages a week schedule#reading it all at once it still carries that pacing but I do feel a bit bad about the way it has felt at once a week#very occasionally twice lol#but I'm just a stickler for pacing so it bothers me personally probably more than it bothers literally anyone#knowing what it's meant to feel like on the proper release schedule vs. the slower release schedule is largely my own problem#and I'm feeling that extra hard right now because I'm having to do prep work for designing and asseting a new set#which saves a huge amount of time in the long run but slows things down in the immediate now#aka: I want to draw characters and story wahhh why am I making set pieces#also hey where the fuck's that stupid fox at he's even in the story synopsis write up where is he#get in the story proper you piece of shit#hello I am sleep deprived and rambling about comic production how are you doing
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having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you
#cy says stuff#I moved out when I was 17 for a reason#but I do still go back to visit when schools out sometimes and I regret it every single time#every time we talk I’m like damn is it time to call it quits because this is not it#I literally feel like I’m constantly on the brink of being disowned or kicked out of the house when I’m there#but it’s also for things like. bringing a single bottle of wine to a Christmas party that I did not even drink#or like. moving in with my partner of 4 years. because we are going to the 2nd most expensive city in Canada and girl I cannot pay the rent#or being upset when she reads my diary ?? or reads my credit card statements without permission and also just like behind my back??#like do you think I’m not going to find out when you bring up information you only would’ve known if you had read those things#I can put two and two together…#also I’m literally almost done my university degree. i am fully an adult. these should not be issues !#ahhhhh!!!#anyways I will speak to my therapist about this lol#also y’all my friends are always like oh I love my mom and it just seems to be a socially accepted thing that you should love your mom#but what if your mom sucks what then#I genuinely cannot relate to them I’m like literally what does that feel like#the first time I felt loved was when I was 15 lol there is 0 love in my family#anyways !#it’s okay I am out of it and I have been out of it#just#always on the brink of cutting her off forever lol#some ppl just never change as much as you want them to and that is tough to accept.#it is also harder because society is telling my that I need to stay loyal to my family cause they’re blood#but if this were anyone else I would’ve blocked them so long ago 😭
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#Fifteen episode 2. Mmmmmmhhhhhh#The animation quality DOES get worse. This episode shows it lol#So many static frames stretching for so long... I feel so sorry for the animators.#I still stand by the fact that if studios can't provide enough budget or time to their animators seasons simply shouldn't be released.#But after all who am I to talk...#The scene of Dazai shooting at the soldier makes my blood freeze. Rimbaud throwing books in the fire is equally upsetting#Like I /know/ it's an anime about literature with constant metafiction references–#and that this too has a symbolic meaning and is *supposed* to be upsetting but that said.#Seeing whole books being thrown in the fire is such a disturbing sight that calls for such a visceral response in me 😭😭😭#The amv opening is nice! Makes me even more bitter about season 5 one lmao. Of the kind#“not only we had to get a amv opening (((while we deserved a wholly ss/kk focused opening)))‚ we even got a bad amv ending at that”#Mmmmhhhh I hateeeeeee how they handled the Sheep 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Seriously this is just another bug instance of#“me and the author have WHOLLY different views of what human nature is like”#I just... Don't think... Children joining together in an hostile environment would act like that. I'm so much more of a t/pn kind of guy.#Children who come together to survive would protect each other and especially would trust each other. Why is there such a big lack of trust#Why doesn't Shirase trust Chuuya? Why doesn't Chuuya trust Shirase (with handling more information)? It's just dumb#It's dumb. It sounds stupid from the very plot aspect that Chuuya would act so shady and suspicious with the Sheep instead of being open–#about what his course of action is. It's like he was trying to have them turn on him. It's stupid of Shirase to mistrust Chuuya–#when in eight years he never gave them any reason to doubt of him.#And I know right as I'm writing this that someone is going to read it and think “you're completely missing on the unbalance of power that–#creates these dynamics of lack of trust” but the thing is exactly that I don't see why that unbalance of power would ever come to be!#They're all just kids. They're aware of that. If Chuuya never had malicious intentions towards Shirase‚ I don't see why he would ever fear–#his betrayal. Likewise‚ I don't see why Shirase and the other Sheep members would ever be so manipulative and disrespectful towards–#Chuuya if he's been nothing but kind to them (and we have no reason to think otherwise)?#It all comes down to: I think people are inherently good and willing to help each other. The author thinks not lmao. It is what it is#But I wish you could see t/pn. Where kids are constantly trying to outwit each other in order to OUT-SACRIFICE THEMSELVES for the others lo#I love t/pn it's my life... I miss it#random rambles#And if anyone would like to argue that Dazai specifically set them off to betray each other... Yes I DO understand that's what the story–#is suggesting. I just don't think Dazai - for how good. and infallible he is - is enough to scrape long-term relationships of trust.
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(If you don't like mentions of a slash ship featuring certain anthro hedgehogs just scroll past!!!! Quickly!!!)
TL;DR (You can skip this blurb if you want the full story)
I went from being like neutrally aware of the Sonic franchise characters' existence to totally obsessed practically overnight with Shadow and Sonadow. Went full speed ahead brainrot on them because of a freaking dream where cartoon (unspecified) Sonic & co accidentally entered the dimension of live action Sonic. Shenanigans ensued, most notably a dreambrain-hatched live action Shadow fighting his cartoon version because of his attitude toward Sonic & co.
(End of TL;DR)
[Text wall below for details]
A few nights ago I had a random as hell dream about Sonic the hedgehog and I am now here I have watched freaking Sonic Prime on Netflix because the mental images wouldn't leave me alone so I treated it like a weird message from the universe e send Help
My only previous interactions with sonic stuff was some person I followed on twitter for something else posting art of it (mega long time ago), watching the sonic live action movies why I have no idea (super long time ago), and that joke game that went surprisingly hard The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog which I completed even though the minigames to progress got hard AF for me (pretty long time ago) and like even before all that I knew of Sonic from ads, memes, and various posts on social medias. But I didn't fully engage with it.
Side note: the twitter posting was mostly sonadow and I would look it over like uh-huh ok the vibes check out and just keep scrolling like lsdfkjdskl but that is pretty much the main reason I knew Sonic/Shadow existed but at the time I didn't actively seek it out or try to learn more.
Onward...
My brain is so so so weird and the dream was somewhat vivid like watching a movie omg where the live action sonic and pals met the cartoon versions of the characters?? even though I never watched any of the cartoons before??? as such it wasn't a specific series, I just knew it in the dream they were from a generalized cartoon universe
Specifically it was Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles in the movie group, while the cartoon group had Amy and Rouge instead of the other two alongside Sonic, who I only even really knew about because of the April Fool's game. And Shadow was also there in both groups because why not I guess and they (the Shadows) fought each other because the movie one thought the cartoon one was a jerk lmao idk? Yeah my subconscious decided it couldn't wait for Sonic 3 and made up its own version of movie Shadow.
Early in the dream there was also a little kid clone of Sonic who belonged with the cartoon group. There were some cute interactions but in nonsensical dream fashion that character just disappeared later like he was never there lol
…There was some plot about the cartoon group needing to get back to their dimension because Sonic accidentally got them blasted into the movie one somehow... after watching Sonic Prime I'm like my dream was so FREAKISHLY similar to that show's plot, but I SWEAR I knew nothing about the premise of SP before the dream. Although, in the dream they were like... multidimensional travellers doing hero stuff and had met other variants before, just this time it wasn't intentional and it messed something up.
Uh getting off track... (which the dream itself did a lot tbf)
Anyway, what I remember is the movie dimension made the cartoon group look in the more realistic style so at first Shadow thought the actual movie group were the ones from his dimension (Shadow & Amy got separated from Sonic & Rouge) and was rude to them because he was so ticked off blaming Sonic for being a dumbass and yelling at Tails for not preventing whatever happened or something, so actual movie Shadow appeared like. don't talk to my friends that way asshole and beat the absolute shit out of him. There was an explanation Tails gave that the movie Shadow was more powerful for some reason I don't remember and Amy told cartoon Shadow to stop trying to beat him. But yeah bro was so pissed movie Sonic had to step in and physically stop him because he wouldn't listen to and/or overpowered anyone else. He reminded Shadow that the other Shadow was still him, in a sense.
Cartoon Sonic and Rouge appeared and Sonic started bickering with cartoon Shadow. but the movie versions were best friends so they were watching them like wtf is wrong with y'all. Movie Shadow got fed up quickly and punched cartoon Shadow again and stood protectively in front of both Sonic versions bristling and wouldn't take his eyes off his counterpart. Cartoon Shadow was so goddamn confused by Shadow's protectiveness and asked how Sonic had made movie Shadow his loyal bodyguard (derogatory) Amy and Rouge like explained the backstory to the movie crew, which is fuzzy to me but it was something along the lines of, Shadow had been brainwashed to rival Sonic, tricked to think that Sonic was evil (unbeknownst to that Sonic who in his pov had this random edgy hedgehog start attacking him out of nowhere during a mission) and they had a lot of intense fighting before Shadow found out the truth. But the two of them never quite got over the misunderstanding. Listen I didn't know Shadow's backstory, literally none of it, but I have read the wiki since ok
Meanwhile movie Shadow, in the dream, was made and raised in a lab and similarly believed he was made as Sonic's rival/equal. Behind the scenes some government thing or whatever were afraid of Sonic's power and wanted a backup plan. But some evil guy stole and unleashed Shadow. At first it was basically just a duel, Shadow admired Sonic, but the evil guy had put a chip in his head that when activated made him try to kill Sonic. Eventually he was subdued and the chip deactivated- and despite everything Sonic insisted Shadow come with him to his home and the rest was history. This unfolded in like flashback style.
There was a funny part where Shadow questioned Sonic's home like "What kind of base of operations is this?" In a very unimpressed tone. Sonic said sarcastically "Oh, sorry if you were expecting my own Fortress of Solitude." And I guess Shadow was allowed to watch tv because he got the reference and shot back "Does that make me Lois Lane?" Didn't make a whole lot of sense sdlfkjds but movie Shadow delivered this line very confidently and flirtatious and just walked away leaving Sonic shocked LOL
And then later Shadow complained that the government people would always rewind and loop the villainy parts and he never got to see if Lois and Clark kissed (It's been too long since I watched any Superman movies so I couldn't tell you if this makes sense) and Knuckles teased him for being a romantic, and then the whole team binge watched every Superman movie.
In the "present" at some point movie Sonic and Shadow pulled their alternate versions aside and like told them off for being mean to each other lmao cartoon Sonic was kinda like uwu I didn't know Shadow had feelings he's like a lone wolf and like was surprised by his counterpart's vehemence. Movie Sonic told cartoon Sonic that Shadow can be a great friend if you give him a chance. I don't remember the Shadowses convo much but it was a lot more chill despite the fighting before (though still prickly) because Shadow's reasons were more valid and it was more of a pep talk from movie Shadow that if he opened up more it might give the others around him more opportunity to know and accept him.
I remember there was this one specific heavy emotional line in the dream that stuck with me when I woke up said by cartoon Shadow about Sonic, "He's my best friend but I'm obviously not his" DFKLJDSKJ
Additional small detail that movie Sonic and Shadow had known each other for over 2 years during dream events. And they were quite close and in sync. But still bantery
My brain basically conjured a LITERAL FANFICTION in my sleep and I have been thinking about it a lot What's hilarious is I knew next to fuck all about these characters my brain pulled the plot points of this dream out of its ass
Typed out, this dream probably sounds a lot longer than it was... the "scenes" just felt oddly detailed for how mashed together and quick passing they were.
But yeah I kept thinking about the dream and like daydreaming more scenes and it somehow turned even more into Sonadow (like, I imagined Cartoon Sonic & Shadow finding out in a very abrupt way that the movie versions were an item. <- to my delight I did find a fic with a premise very similar to this just not movie universe related. Also played with the idea of Sonic and/or Shadow accidentally kissing the wrong counterpart in their excitement at being reunited which Awakened Some Things for the receiver of the unexpected passion😂 )
The dream kinda acted as a base that inspired daydreams to spiral out from my brain without permission but I just... mentally jumped into it because ships sometimes grab you like that.
And Sonic Prime made my sprouting interest worse, basically fuel to the fire, so now I am obsessed with them... like what a fucking way to get into a ship
#sth#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic prime#sonadow#shadonic#swearing#long post#since it was a dream there's of course a lot of holes in my memory#so if anyone reads the full thing don't examine it too closely lol#I think movie Sonic and Shadow were not explicitly a couple in the dream but the dream was very much implying it or at least the possibilit#I... haven't played any of the Actual games :(#I did try the uhh Sonic Frontiers demo on the switch (some time prior to dream)#but the gameplay didn't seem like my type of thing#does this make me a fake fan /lh#does it help that I binged the twitter takeovers - why are they so fucking funny? - and read Shadow's entire wiki page?#originally rambled about this dream in a discord group chat with half assed grammar but I tried to clean it up a bit#I am normal (lie) about these hedgehogs
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/039a233836ed820e2bbe8c97de6f6143/6293edc35eeb6aa2-4c/s540x810/79645c7d68529e67a4fd8c36ed3c608271a2aaa1.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/deb279070ed3aa922e6d20fa91ef4890/6293edc35eeb6aa2-7b/s540x810/01236a6ddb1f6f67268a79955863398c26e9c1b3.jpg)
That moment when you’ve just overcome your greatest fears and then you figure out your entire life is a lie and also get lava directly to the face
(Inspo/Refs: x x x x)
Painted for my art class with metallic watercolor and black light paint!
#does anyone else think abt Starflight a lot I think abt Starflight a lot#out of the entire DOD he (arguably) had the most expectations on him and he didn’t live up to any of them#he wasn’t brave he couldn’t fight he didnmt have the powers he was suppose to he’s not a leader#and he jsut feels overall useless and so he fills that void with knowledge because he needs to be at least helpful in some way#and then when he’s finally overcome his anxiety and become more confident#the dragon that put all this pressure on him reveals he was just lying lol#and also the dragons that r the bad guys that do all this evil shit r YOUR tribe that you’ve been told to be proud of and r powerful#and you’re not just a failure to the prophecy you’re a failure to your entire tribe too#and then you get permanently blinded when your favorite thing in the whole word was reading l#and dragon braille doesn’t exist. sorry that wasn’t mf suppose to be that long#starflight#starflight wof#wof#wings of fire#wof fanart#wings of fire fanart#wings of fire art#wof art#dragonets of destiny#dod#also side note tho I doubt anyone read this far#bc of some of the inspo art: I do not support the dsmp I am not a fan#but some of the art goes insanelyy hard#dragon art#starflight tag
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have always been a bit more neutral to timebomb but it has rly surprisingly grown on me so much ;-; i think i do see it more from the tragedy angle and maybe more one-sided. i'm not sure jinx has ever been in a place to reciprocate the feelings i'm sure ekko has, but it is nice to think about for years down the line and in terms of what could have been.
#arcane tag#i do prefer more understated or fanon ships and i think even getting them canon in an AU it still makes it more understated in the#main timeline to me? and rly good for imagining and tragic for what could've been etc#i also think friend-wise they could have the same exact tragedy - to me the point is just... closeness?#i get some of the backlash to it - like there are definitely things i could get annoyed about if i WANTED to make a big deal out of it#but i think it's sweet and i think regardless of romantic implications the link of ekko and jinx having basically the same trauma all#stem from their own actions (him giving the kids the tip about jayce and powder using the hexcore they got as a result in#catastrophic ways) and landing in such different directions (ekko using that as motivation to build / jinx getting stuck in destruction)#is just so interesting to me#i guess you could have that WITHOUT romance but i do think in the AU world them getting romantically closer makes a lot of sense#and i don't rly think there's a ton of clear romantic stuff in the main timeline that couldn't be read otherwise if it rly pissed people of#that badly lol so it is possible some of my appreciation for the ship comes out of spite from that crowd#honestly so much of the backlash seems geared more toward shippers than actual canon given the subtlety of it until now#which i do nottt vibe with tbh#just at the end of the day to me it is so easy to fall into how much ekko cares abt powder/jinx and how their paths diverged#and i guess i can get how adding a romantic layer would be annoying to some ppl but i think the kind of emotions doesn't#rly matter at the end of the day bc there is that same foundation either way#also when i say i get some of the backlash it's not that i agree with it lol#but if i wanted to force a reason for not vibing with it in that scenario i could#like the fact of not leaving it platonic ('why does everything have to be romantic!') or i'm sure LOTS of other lesbians#are pissed that a non-canon m/f ship has been more popular than canon f/f which.#i mean sometimes that stuff is odd but 9/10 times it's just preference for the dynamics#(signed. a lesbian. who got into the show for f/f and landed in other f/f ships more than the canon one lol)#and at the same time if i wanted to get political about it in retaliation i could highlight that timebomb is interracial#it's mostly stupid at the end of the day and i wish we could focus more on whether the writing was well done with what it meant to do#or just let ppl do what they want for fanon as long as they're not hurting anyone else#i think rly the main thing i would be more willing to listen to is the treatment of ekko as a black character in relation to this#which - if there is anything to that - is a very different story than 'ew m/f!!!!!!!!!1'#anyway sorry my brain is a discourse speedrun simulator at all times bc of being so chronically on tumblr#tl;dr good ship with so much good fan stuff out there
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《이걸로 영영 이별이라니... 믿고 싶지 않아?》
so that new rokia alt huh
#puyo puyo#rokia#and or#roquier#depending on who you ask.#my stuff#tw eyestrain#eyestrain#bright colors#i need to tag all my bases with this thing because if attwn park's videos are one thing theyre eyestrain#anyway everyone listen to pinata and i by attwn park‼️#the video on youtube has english translation if you need it!!#i just wanted to draw this dude and i happened to be listening to comic relief(newest album from attwn park)#and before that i was like. agh acab sorry rokia(roquier)#and tgen i remembered the bat? and idk man#this is symbolic in a way the video for pinata and i isnt. but uhhh something about killing your past self#honestly i dont know much about this alt i know korean not japanese#in uh. two years when kr ppq catches up with jp ppq its all over for you guys because ill know what the flavor text says#half joking btw.#but from what i know about him its like. he was a cop the whole time maybe? undercover at the spacetime detective agency?#and if thats the case then like. this is twice as killing-yourself-symbolic#killing your own persona to work undercover then killing the undercover persona to be you again but undercover changed you so fundamentally#idk if you look closely enough and you have enough delusion you can twist anything to be about anyone.#and i choose to make pinata and i about rokia and his cop alt.#anyway if you cant read the text in the picture (i did make it very hard to read) its '이걸로 정녕 민족할 거야?'#which does indeed roughly translate to 'are you truly satisfied with this'?#or like. alternatively its 'are you really going to be satisfied like this' but i chose to go with the tl on the subs#anyway. this is inktober 5 LOL#something quick and easy to make up for the fact ive been drawing like seven pieces in one for every past piece so far#signing off for today. dont stare at this too long you'll go blind
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#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel#the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule#and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office#classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand.#which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a#mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively#i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when#i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an#office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then#when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low#energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its#like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that#i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my#lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to#convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture#of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing.#the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like#they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha#yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc#i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself#from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode#and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at#like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop#so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd#also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry#bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting#hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that#the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun#unrelated
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Didn't think the 1989 version of The Woman In Black would be scarier than the one with Dan Radcliffe in it
I was Wrong flkjdsafkldsja, but I'm delighted to have been wrong. I had missed getting scared with more practical effects/careful timing of things in the background of shots appearing and disappearing, and this one scratches that itch well.
#text post#also fun seeing how differently they interpreted the characters and how they act#personally i'm realising that the Dan version was sort of. Americanised? Which is probably something I should have realised at first watch#but it only hits now when it's like. how to explain#the casts of both versions are both amazing let's preface with that#but. the Dan version felt very Cinematic. I got scared but was also very aware I was watching An Movie during it#(it got colour-graded quite blue which isn't necessarily a bad thing but it does register in my head as Peak Cinematic for the current time#the version of the characters in this 89 version feel slightly more real? accurate to the culture they come from?#like. there's an American Openness between the ones in the Dan version#they're too open to share and hand out compliments and comments like candy they have too much of#everyone is Nice in a way that feels mildly unrealistic#and when they are mad at each other there's tension but a tension#that to me at least you don't worry abt much bc it just feels almost Already Resolved#and it does sort of just drop off and wind up that way tbh#tho I admit it's been a bit since I read the original story so my apologies if I'm misremembering that it did the same in the book#but I could swear there was more that bit of tension there#anyway it isn't that the 89 characters are all mean but they feel Actually British for lack of better words#they have moments of kindness and do have a general sense of like. yeah they care for their community but also they're getting on w/themsel#and their business and not lingering on the interactions#They're kind but not nice and they just. get on with things which is very nice#and feels more in line with the time period to me/what I expect out of a story like this#anyway speaking of Dan found out the guy playing Arthur in this also played the dad in the gross wizard franchise#which wasn't something I expected to see lol#this is my long barely an essay no one asked for and your sign to go watch the 89 version asap#it's on YT for free which is where I'm watching it so genuinely if anyone want link. I have link fjkdlsfjadlsa#I have so many more thoughts comparing and contrasting Dan to 89 but there are so many tags i'm making myself stop lmao
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a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)
#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have#heart disease.#scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it#but it's been years now so I don't remember the details#just that that's a thing apparently#and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that#do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :)#it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week.#like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭#also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary.#like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and#yeah it sucks.#specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't#need to say it where anyone can see#it's embarrassing enough#though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about.#like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45.#it's so unbelievably exhausting.#but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :)#oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently#that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me#haha isn't that fun :) )#ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very#well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part.#and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for#this long. so. guess I'm just fucked.#personal
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sometimes i think about interactions boat and i have had and things he's said to/about me over the years and it makes me feel as though i must occupy some little space in his heart. like i live in his mind rent-free the way he does for me, although not nearly to the same extent lmao.
speak of the goddamn devil i just got a steam notification he's playing tf2
anyway i never thought i'd have that kind of effect on a person, much less my favorite content creator. but it sure appears to be that way, and idk. it makes me feel special. warms my heart n all that :)
#was one of two people to give me their phone number when i had to drop off of discord 2 years ago#never took advantage of it though (shy (also we have different brands of phones so texting probably wouldnt work right#other person was an irl friend (never contacted them either#i remember one time YEARS ago when he was wanting to read jjba on stream or smth like that#him: it's like REALLY not family friendly me: well i shouldnt watch bc i am a Child him: no its ok you dont have to skip It's very dirty th#like guy clearly just wanted me there bc he enjoys my company And he's said he does! i remember him saying he likes seeing me in chat#and once again he was the one that wanted me on the staff team when usually the staff pick new recruits and boat has final say#and apparently he's talked about me to his other friends. that's kinda where the old Time to Mod in-joke started#he was using voice to text to talk to whoever and said my username but the thing misinterpreted it#that coupled with the meme drawing i did that he edited so it's him just saying 'pain'. eventually that dumb fucking image spawned#and then there was the night he spammed it and spam mentioned me in chat when he was streaming while i was ASLEEP#once we were in a vc and he was like 'wow i'd forgotten what your voice sounded like' NEVER heard him say that to anyone else. What#dont even get me started with him and my artwork (man would probably flip tf out seeing what i can do now LOL)#guy literally wanted ME to design an official tff logo but at that point they were kinda slowing down so it never happened#but yeahno i just. ugh. our friendship means a lot to me. i am ITCHING to speak to him again you have no idea#and to just give him a big ol hug. been wanting that for such a long time#quite frankly a friendship dynamic like no other ive seen#dont mind me REMINISCING. im sooo sappy about him he's the most important guy in the world to me#if god exists he knew we'd be too powerful if we grew up together
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:^T
#i dont know how normal people do this shjt bc i have nonody to talk to about things in my life#do people normally talk about sex w their friends ? is that something ppl do or is it weird ?#what do people do when something eventful has happened to them sex wise ? like does everyone just keep it to themselves ?#like idk do i seem like a sex addicted weirdo if i try to talk about it ??? im not shy about sex but i feel like everyone around me is#and idk if thats because im too oversharey or bc the ppl in my life dont see me as somenr they can share that kinds stuff w#not that i have many ppl to share it w in the first place :^T idk#anyway#i have aquired a lover 🤧 and hes so so so fucking hot idk how i pulled this off#compatability is also off the charts 😖 i shant be tmi but GOD#ive never been in this situation tho so im like ? a bit shy ? specifically that he is in a long distance open relationship#and theyre very communicative etc etc but#idk if hes like poly ? idk what im doing this is new for me#whatever#thanks tunbkr for being my diary 🫡 sorry to anyone reading this i litrrally have nobody to talk to lol#gommywords
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25 year old som predictions: 1. renamed himself to something less stupid 2. has some type of disorder when it comes to forming long term connections with other people 3. spends his life traveling the continent with a dog 4. will have gotten scurvy multiple times.
#one. nothing wrong with me.#5. single and probably forever :/ unfortunately i think running away at 12 and raising yourself does irreparable damage to the human psyche#he will still be gods specialist boy but less so since god will have many of his own issues to work on at that point.#sad part for margo is as much as i want her and kverlith to reconsile i do think after everything ends they go their separate ways.#he stays in the far west and she stays on the eastern coast. and som probably spends a while north before bouncing around arbitrarily.#you must remember this story IS a tragedy. and i dont think it would be a tragedy if margo and kverlith hugged and all was well again#sometimes things change and they change forever and they cannot go back to the way they used to be. something that ends cannot be restarted#this got long. hi anyone who read this. lol.#margo#som
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