#does anyone else suffer from this
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anyone else get the excitement nausea. or it is just my body doing weird things
#listen 2 bells#when i get really invested in things#(usually media-related)#i gotta take it slow and do it a little at a time#otherwise my body makes me feel nauseous???#example. i had to split my nerdy prudes must die first watch into two parts#because i clicked on the video and the first song started and i got the excitement nausea#RECENTLY. been getting into hermitcraft/the life serieses#and i can’t scroll pinterest looking at things for too long#i have to go. ONE PIN AT A TIME#OTHERWISE MY BODY MAKES ME NAUSEOUS. WHY#does anyone else suffer from this#<- also this is why i don’t relate to people watching/reading/listening etc in large quantities when they get really into it#unfortunately my body has the Nausea Failsafe. just in case i start having too much fun ig
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♡
#does anyone else suffer from the word babuse popping up in their heads excessively#phan#dan and phil#dnp#dnpgames#dnp gifs#amazingphil#daniel howell#dpgdaily
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"I have no sister." The words were knives. What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister? | Jon VI
--metaphorical knives at feigning neutrality regarding his sister
Jon fell to his knees. He found the dagger's hilt and wrenched it free. In the cold night air the wound was smoking. "Ghost," he whispered. Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold... | Jon XIII
--literal knives from breaking that neutrality to save her
#jon snow#arya stark#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#it's like poetry it rhymes#Jon is just destined to suffer over his love for Arya huh 😭#god when is it finally their turn to reunite and be happy??#people read this and really think he would've done the same for anyone other then Arya?? the delusion is strong#gatekeeping their relationship from the heathens that try and turn Arya into just a /proxy for family/ y'all aren't worthy#George did NOT have to go this hard when writing about them but I am so glad that he did#/Jon will want me even if no one else does/ you have no idea 🥹#and when Arya parallels this by leaving the FM when she hears of his death I'm gonna be losing my mind
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I'm interpreting this as a parallel between Eloise and Cressida and Harriet and Emma. She is taken under the wing of a bitchy blonde girl who teaches her to conform to high society which ultimately causes her heartache
but more importantly, they're lesbians
#I have vivid memories of when I studied jane austen in uni and in class discussion I said “does anyone else think emma is a lesbian?”#and no one said anything. and the tutor was just like 'ok I think we'll leave it there for today'#I'm sorry. 'I suffer from a disease that makes me view every female character as a lesbian and it's called being smarter than everyone'#bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#jane austen#emma jane austen#emma woodhouse#harriet smith#creloise#eloise x cressida#eloise bridgerton x cressida cowper#eloise/cressida
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also I'm a percy jackson stan until I die of course but it would be nice if we could not exclusively talk about other members of the main cast (the non-white ones especially) only in furtherance of percy and his character/personal acclaim/strength as a demigod
like every time I see a high-note text post about the percy/frank/hazel dynamic it's about "WOW frank and hazel think percy is so cool hazel literally thought he was a god he is so powerful." like yeah. did you guys know that they're also friends and they love each other!!!! did you know that percy admires frank and frequently praises him and encourages him to build up his self-worth and confidence! did you know that hazel comforted percy when he was emotional and scared at the neptune altar in camp jupiter and he gets angry when phineas insults and degrades hazel for being undead! did you know that frank and hazel saved him when he was so frightened and disturbed by evil centaurs and cyclopes that he was paralyzed and couldn't move!
did you know that frank and hazel also just have their own things going on divorced from percy because they're heroes of olympus too! did you know that they aren't just decorations for percy's character they are their own people! idk something to keep in mind (I'm a SON stan if u can't tell)
#frank and hazel 100% suffer from this the worst because they had the mis/fortune of being introduced into the canon alongside percy#(hazel gets this the Absolute Worst because she's connected to percy AND nico at the same time)#unlike the tlh gang who (for the most part) started off on their own feet (this came with its own pros and cons)#and we love percy and were excited to see him again after tlh didn't have him so we barely register frank and hazel#except for how they orbit our main special boy that we care about from the original 5 books#idk. does anyone else get bored of the percy stroking on the Website. I think it's boring after a while#I know he's our boy but hoo was very intentional about (attempting) to spotlight poc because the first 5 books were ridiculously white#not that I think rick succeeded at that because he didn't go hard enough in making the other characters significant and impactful#or like expressing how powerful all of them are/should be (especially jason/hazel but watever)#but I feel like the pjo fandom just does the same thing#well whatever#percy jackson#hazel levesque#frank zhang#son of neptune#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo hoo toa
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Demonstrating techniques (hopefully to be used on Bi'an)
#please does anyone else here suffer from the same brainrot.#everyone imagines the second prince as a seductive babygirl and im like. him and the guards are all just so fantastically odd and awkward af#in their own ways#i love them#li chengze#fan wujiu#xie bi'an#joy of life 2#joy of life#李承泽#范无救#谢必安#庆余年2#庆余年#doodles
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i really really really hate this post it's so personally irritating to me bc like why is this your example why are you defending the sanctity of fucking email. why are you saying it's embarrassing to not be able to write an email. it's a fucking email. i get really anxious and im better about it now but in high school i would get so nervous sending emails i would have to have my teachers coach me tell me exactly what to say because i just had no idea how to phrase things how to ask for what i was trying to ask for and communicate it it was the same with papers i had like a paranoia about being wrong and being misinterpreted and so I just couldn't think of how to structure my sentences in the way i thought they should be that would communicate what i needed to correctly and i would get anxious thinking about how if i said something the teacher would get an idea about how i think and the opinions i have and draw conclusions about me and if what i said wasn't perfectly articulated to mean what i mean they would think something of me that was wrong and that was terrifying so i just wouldn't write papers i wouldn't write emails i would get 0s i would cause complications and i wouodnt be able to explain to people trying to help me why i didn't do it i just couldn't and i don't think i would have ever used chatgpt to write an essay for me if it was an option it wouldn't be my own words and opinion and that's exactly what i was anxious about in the first place but i might've used an email prompt to let me know what is a normal response and help me structure a sentence like what is with this fucking sentiment of "what do you mean you can't do this yourself that's embarassing" why are you people fucking agreeing with something saying that. hating ai ubiquitously no matter what without thinking about why rots your brain
#alex talks#i don't think i'm doing the thing here that ppl do online where they're like 'ermmm but have u considered that my brother actually died#from eating waffles so it's rlly insensitive to post a picture of your breakfast' bc i find this sentiment in this scenario objectionable i#disagree fundamentally with what it is directly saying#truly if i was struggling w writing an email would you tell me 'that's embarassing why can't you do that yourself' no? because that's#kind of well i don't want to throw the term ableist around and be the guy going like Erm it's actually ableist for you to tell me to stop#doing this bad thing bc as an anxious smol bean i suffer more than anyone else and am immune from criticism but it kinda does feel weird#like that and also its a fucking emaillll it's an EMAILLLLLLL
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series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems
#dr who#i am being so honest when i say ten should have gotten on his knees and begged for simm!master's life#they should have framed the bit between him and martha's mom so different#like yes it is 10000% in character that the doctor with his bleeding heart and loneliness wouldn't want to kill him#even after everything that happened. because he's the only person he has left. 'i forgive you' was PERFECT.#but literally anyone else that suffered from what the master did. Deserves to rip him to shreds. so very obviously#and like i know.i KNOW that i am watching the 'funny immortal alien saves people through time and space' show#but i actually despise the doctor being framed as like an all powerful savior. or treated like one. even for a little bit. is Annoying#the first part of the series 3 finale having martha be humanity's last hope was SO GOOD bc it like kind of set her up as like#having to grapple with all that responsibility and attention like the doctor does. everyone's lives are in her hands. so crunchy#but when it like slides into 'everyone pls believe in our specialest boy in the world The Doctor <3' it just. falls flat#i feel like with a couple tweaks here and there in the execution and like actual fuckinnn people of color in the writer's room#series 3 would be PEAK media. but as it is it's just. falling short.#i do really appreciate martha deciding to leave ten on her own though. first of all. qpp down. second of all#she's realized that she can't keep traveling with him. bc (as i mentioned) hes someone who simultaneously needs saving#and refuses to be saved in the ways that matter. Yes im fucking ignoring the unrequited romance angle i think#it does a gigantic disservice to martha's character if u boil her down to that. fight me i dont care if that was the authorial intent#martha in the end is too kind to ten and ten keeps making her watch his meandering path of self destruction. toxic doomed qprism to ME.#anyway fuck. idk man series 2 consensus was that im dead inside and series 3 consensus is that the version i have of it in my head is peak#series 2 is better but i think because of my ten martha insanity i actually enjoyed watching series 3 more than series 2.#even if i got mad at it more than any other season. i think something is wrong with me. um. lmao#ten and martha#10 era
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I feel like tags like these were inevitable on the post about people traumatising themselves for the greater good or w/e... There is SO much emphasis on posting on tumblr and other social media being so important and so useful and we must never stop. But I would like to counterargue with the idea that posting on social media (especially tumblr) constantly does very little/nothing. If that was true then the point here becomes meaningless.
#i guess i must be broken according to this person because i don't seem to feel emotions the way they feel helps palestine#activists in palestine are also calling for a general strike where no one goes to work and that has yet to materialise in a meaningful way#because people keep watering it down by saying 'oh it's ok just post constantly/about nothing else than palestine on social media'#yeah awesome great- look i'm sure there are people in palestine saying get the word out about our suffering etc#but they are also calling for more meaningful symbolic gestures like strikes which as far as I know no western country has delivered#because that would take a lot of organising and much less guilt tripping and people spending all their time posting#and comfort always comes up- comfort and discomfort- what even is comfort?#is feeling ok in your own mind an insult to palestine?#are there people losing everything in wars feeling better because someone in the west feels really really bad about their pain?#like sorry to be facetious but what on earth does any of this rhetoric accomplish#i spent years thinking like this and it made me so sick and now i'm better i am DONE with it- i cannot go back to this thinking#i can only live if i bend away from this kind of thinking like a plant to light- and i want to help others but people just won't stop#please- post on social media if you like. it doesn't help anyone to view the depths of their pain and feel bad#it is better to look towards hope a ceasefire and a resolution and end to the killing of palestinians for good#that can happen!!!#i think avoiding misinformation and dehumanising rhetoric about either side is also very important#i fully believe you can only understand geopolitics and war if you see everyone as human
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#Woha... Alright read the chapter 🫡#It's just. I get where Fukuchi is coming from and I feel like after rereading it the whole thing was a little more clear but...#Did it *really* have to be so complicated. Like dude did it **really** have to be so complicated.#Maybe it had to idk. After all I'm always the first to say that a complex reality can't be reduced to simple axioms–#and that semplifications never bring anything good.#But at the same time was there REALLY no other way#Couldn't you promote your ideas diplomatically instead. Couldn't you become a democratic activist or politician.#Couldn't you write a book‚ person named OUCHI FUKUCHI#Also couldn't you? Talk about it with someone before executing your crazy plan so that anyone else might have pointed to you how crazy it i#But I suppose the whole central theme of this arc ultimately was “people who try to do everything by their own are destined to fall”#And to an extent it does still feel kinda self-contradictory of a plan. Like ahah my plan included not to make anyone suffer!!!#[turns half world population into a vampire]#Like c'mon? Violations of human rights can happen even without killing people dude#(Also Akutagawa)#(Like I get it he's only one (1) person. But he's also the only (only) person for me so I can't bring myself to ignore him y'know)#Mmmmmhhhhhh that's of the main things ig. I YELLED when they brought up Max Weber and the what-is-a-state question#That's like. One of the main questions my whole life studies centers on.#The adrenaline that gave me to see it mentioned in my current hyperfixation ahfjvafjhcvlawsvfblwhkv#This chapter was just so so political theories packed I felt like I was just still studying lol.#I feel like this was a true “get why bsd is labelled as seinen”.#You just can't do this kind of in-depth political theory discussion in shonen manga ig#What else. Still patiently waiting for ss/kk 😔#random rambles
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i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡
dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)
#sexyman polls but instead its all just mtt and peoples' aus and varients#i COULD NOT be able to vote. it would be hell for me WHO WOULD I CHOOSE#i CAN'T choose dude i literally wouldn't be able to at all#do i vote for og mtt my pookies??? or jk mtt my besties???? or mst my children????? WHO DO I VOTE FOR#i think i would be biased to the murder swap trio. i haven't mad any content for them at all but like#i spent my TIME and EFFORT into them. and they are cool ngl i really like their concepts#too bad swapinverse isnt seeing the light of day until goddamn 2026 or something because i cant be bothered to make content of it#oops! savior mania paranoia you guys are JUST FOR ME. just me only! nobody else gets to see you guys#or literally anyone else in swapinverse.... i love swapinverse.#they need to make the tag limit like 60 or something i have too many thoughts#quite a few too many times on my posts have i hit the limit and then had to choose#my tags trembling in fear as i pick and choose which to delete in order to make space for the fandom tags#tricule rant#i still have more tags time toRAMBLE!!! i love the idea of dust and horror having opposite ish souls#like dust's soul is PACKED with magic. like crackling and sparking and glowing purple with just how much he has in there bc of his LV stuff#i dont believe in the idea that dust suffers physically from LV or whatever because like. when has that EVER happened#its a cool idea though and i get to pick and choose which headcanons i believe in as god of these fictional characters and creations#anyways OBVIOUSLY horror's soul is dim and shriveled and looks like a fucking dead leaf. because lack of food lack of magic#even though he very clearly DOES have a lot of magic and shows it multiple times in horrortale.....#ok triglycercule you keep contradicting yourself. stop it. BUT THERES TOO MANY MTT HCS OUT THERE!!! AND SOME OF THIS IS CANON!!!!!#god the mttverse is gonna kill me one day too many interpretations TOO MANY CHOICES#anyways i just like that soul idea bc of the contrast. dust too much magic horror not enough. horrordust real#and then killer pulls up with his yn main character ass unique soul with stages#the GET OUT sound effect plays. anyways they all love eachothers souls and unique differences in them#everyday im reminded of the fact that killer is a little. just an EENSY bit more of a special character that horror or dust#he has too much shit going on someone assassinate him. preferably two fellas with names starting with H and D alternatively M#i love coming up with various sayings to kill/shut myself up. someone sedate me#i just remembered this dream where i say to my friend i hope ___ gets into a sticky situation#and then ___ goes into a bathroom comes out and then someone else says ___ WHY ARE YOU ALL STICKY#it was so funny i laughed myself awake. it was SO funny. i saw this person in school today
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getting to that time of year again where a girl starts thinking about reading. That book again...you know the book...
#she's staring at me from my desk....i am the man i suffered i was there...#reading tag#excited 2 have time to read again...ive read so little this month because of uni work it makes me so sad..did REALLY enjoy sula tho!!#my first toni morrison but definitely not my last her writing style makes me feel the way baldwin's does...if anyone has read any other#toni morrison books and has a favourite other than sula i would lav to know what else people recommend from her xx
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fucking vindication man
my sister was just minding her business in the basement eating breakfast and my stepdad came down and asked "why do you have the light on" and she was like "so i can see?" and the thing about my stepdad is that he's incapable of softening his tone (and will pretend he doesnt understand that his tone is aggressive even though he can understand when YOUR tone is aggressive/rude) so even an innocuous question like that sounds like an attack, so my sister's response was also super subdued and irritated. this isn't the first time an exchange like that has happened but it was the first time that he kinda hesitated and was like "wait what did i just say that upset you?" and she started to speak like she was going to explain, then thought better of it and just said "it's nothing"
LIKE YEAH DUDE. WHEN YOU CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY CONSTANTLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES TO YOU AND AT THE SAME TIME THEY CAN'T BE COMFORTABLE BRINGING UP THINGS YOUVE DONE OR SAID TO UPSET THEM WITHOUT YOU JUST ARGUING WITH THEM TO JUSTIFY HOW THEYRE WRONG FOR BEING UPSET AND YOUVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG, THEN PEOPLE ARENT GONNA FUCKIN TALK TO YOU. ITS SO SIMPLE.
#i think he was trying to ask whats wrong bc my mom is pissed at him and my sister doesnt like to talk to him so much lately#and obviously he and i have zero conversations#so the house rn for him is just 'ENEMIES EVERYWHERE' fhskdhdj#see what he doesnt understand about my sister#shes young so it still seems like she'll bounce back whenever you hurt her#and since hes allergic to apologizing he just assumes he can say whatever tf he wants to her and their core relationship won't suffer#especially bc in his mind he's doing everything jn the name of her success or whatever#but she already treats him differently than she does everyone else#hes always punishing her for 'getting an attitude' with him but she literally doesnt give attitude to anyone else#he thinks he can helicopter her AND try to force her to suppress her emotions and she'll just be like 'well im grateful bc i wouldnt be#successful without him let me continue sharing my life with him like nothing is wrong'#he doesnt get how deep a child's resentment of their parent can run#and hes so fucking proud he doesn't take any parenting advice from my mom bc he hates me#even though she does have experience raising a child#he thinks hes a better parent than her and wont even try to learn from her mistakes#bc im not a millionaire at 31#tirah talks#but what he doesn't get is that he either needs to learn to say sorry#or come to terms w the fact that when she grows up she's gonna fuck off permanently#their generations kept ties w their parents no matter what shit they pulled#but our generations don't do that shit#my mom knows how to apologize and she knows how to learn from her mistakes and that's why she's the ONLY parent in my life#he needs to get his shit together or my sister will be the same as me
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Spot, I buff you and you're gonna do this?
#does anyone elses spot hate them?#totk#tears of the kingdom#ive been SAD and totk made me CLEAN MY KITCHEN YESTERDAY WTF#my car (dream car) got wrecked and the day before that i cried from 5hrs from task paralysis so i already wasnt doing good#totk entierly uplifted me within like an hour yesterday wtF#its been like a good month and a half since i played it i think#I also cooked an actual meal for the first time in over a year?!?!!!!!!!#IT WAS CHEDDAR BROCCOLI SOUP im lactose intolerant the suffering is worth 💩
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the intrusive thoughts and executive dysfunction drawings are interconnected because these symptoms are also interconnected . To me
#it feels like any time my thoughts let up i get hit witj the dysfunctions and become unable to do anything#on the other hand it also feels like whenever i can actually go on about my days like a normal person suddenly my intrusive thoughts are#attacking me from all angles#This is all god’s plan to make sure i am always suffering some sort of disorder as to not reach my full power ……#they do both happen at once sometimes too and that’s like purgatory pretty much#and sometimes it feels like maybe i’ve gotten way too good at shutting out my#thoughts that i ignore the ones like Do Work and Draw and Get Up#does this make sense to anyone?:) i like analyzing illnesses it’s fun#and i wonder if anyone else makes any connections between them#crammerposting
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Hey everyone back on another episode of why the fuck is my mother like this?
#ok rant time#i was thinking about enjoying a movie since i haven't in a long time and she was sleeping#i turned off the lights and sat down to watch it but she woke up and got into the room asking why I'm in the dark multiple times in an-#-aggressive way and turned on the lights#she then started asking 'what are you hiding from me you would only be in the dark if you're hiding something'#she ruined the whole mood and my night and then fucked off to sleep again#i can't enjoy a movie or really anything anymore cause she's glued to my fucking hip#if i smile at my phone she asks what I'm doing if I'm texting with my phone she asks who I'm talking to if I'm laughing she asks what I'm-#-laughing about if I'm watching something she asks what I'm watching if i woke before here she asks what i did and what i ate before she-#-woke up#stop just fucking stop i don't want to see your stupid fucking face anymore shut up get away from me I'm a fucking adult leave me alone#I'd be happy with her being annoying if she wasn't a terrible fucking human but she is i fucking hate this so much just shut up shut up#i fucking hate this house so much i want to burn it down with me in it#why the hell do i have to live with her constantly annoying me venting to me taking out her anger on me but my siblings can have their own-#-lives outside of this#this isn't fucking fair i never fucking asked for this any of this why why the hell is it always me that has to suffer#why the fuck is it me that got bullied and hit by my eldest brother for years but then i got threatened to be kicked out of the house by my-#-mother i was a fucking child why the fuck do she always side with anyone else that isn't me then has the fucking nerve to demand i treat-#-her like a friend she will fucking never be my friend i won't forget what she did and what she does she will never be my fucking friend
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