#does this make sense to anyone?:) i like analyzing illnesses it’s fun

[simcardiac-arrested]

the intrusive thoughts and executive dysfunction drawings are interconnected because these symptoms are also interconnected . To me

[snarkylinda]

I should be studying, showering, sleeping, doing literally anything else but instead, I am going to do a long post about a mentally ill blorbo because I am mentally ill myself.

SO! We all make fun of Spencer let me take my vest off and lower my gun for no reason Reid, it's a meme at this point- but that....tendency is a consequence of what I find the most fascinating about his character as a whole....his relationships- or more like, the relationships he makes up in his head.

Before I go into details I want to leave something very clear that anyone that has seen even one season of the funny cop show has noticed: Spencer is highly obsessive.

Now I am not talking about his fun little facts or that he likes star streak and doctor who obsession- those are hyperfixations, and even tho MY hyperfixation it's ruining my life, his are actually harmless and overall make him happy.

His obsessive nature had almost cost him his career, if not his life, multiple times.

If you stop to think about it in depth, why does Reid abandon all common sense when it comes to certain UnSubs, certain cases? well the most evident answer is that he projects whatever trauma of the week they decide to explore onto them- and yes, that is the nick of things. He pulled that stunt on Elephant's memory because he related to Owen's harassment story, he wanted to help Nathan because he understood being afraid of your own mind turning against you, he wanted to help Adam because he couldn't save Tobias. You get the drill- but....that is not always the case.

With the guy that Lindsey's dad murdered- Spencer didn't relate to him, he was just a piece of shit. How about Samantha? (I know there is a theory about William....doing shit to Reid when he was younger and while I can see it, for the sake of argument I will take her case into consideration) The father of the victim on "Identity"? I can name another example but this one I am going to save for last since it's the reason for me making this post-

And one can argue "Well, he is just a really nice guy" and while that is true- what I named before doesn't always apply, Spencer's compassion has a very clear, marked limit.

His relationships.

When Cyrus was killed in front of him by Morgan, Reid barely blinked- hell, he fucking SASSED him. Why? because he hurt Emily.

All sympathy he could have had for Cat before she ruined his life DESPITE kind of empathizing with her story based on what HE was going through went out of the window because she and her lil gang terrorized Penelope for months.

He felt compassion for Adam, but not for his father who he claimed was the true monster of this story in the aftermath.

When Maeve told her her ex was dead, he quickly brushed that aside to ask her if SHE was alright.

And ofc, we all know what happened in prison after his friend there was murdered.

Reid is often associated with UnSubs not only because of how his backstory aligned with their motivations (mental health issues, bullying, absent parent, losing a loved one) but because most of these crimes are passional responses- and Spencer can be extremely passional, to a point where it clouds his judgment.

Now...you might be thinking "ok that is all nice and good, but where does the obsession come into play? all that I know is that he is a cinnamon roll that loves his friends and has some really deep projection issues he really needs to work on" and you are not wrong, but what made me make this fucking thesis in the first place its something else....one of my favorite things to analyze about fictional characters in this kind of setting it's "the needs of one vs the greater good" thing.

Now let's be fr, we all as human beings will always, ALWAYS prioritize those close to us over literal strangers. Even among the best, most empathic people that is just how it is, that emotional hierarchy will always be there- what differentiates us is how much it affects our actions.

Now with a job like this, there will always be this conflict among the menbers- obviously, their families and even each other will always be a priority, but on working hours their focus HAS to be on doing their job, following the rules and just being as professional as humanly possible- even tho it sometimes kills them inside since it just doesn't feels right.

Reid actually doesn't face this debate that much- because all common sense, respect for authority and protocol goes out of the fucking window whenever he obsesses over a new blorbo lmao.

Had you heard the phrase "One death is a tragedy, a hundred is a statistic"? nothing rings more true that with Dr. Reid right here. He is able to keep his cool while touching mangled corpses and discussing all the shit that happened to them- occasionally looking horrified if it's messed up enough, but other than that he is able to keep the same level of professionalism and compartmentalization as his co-workers.

Annnnnnd then he gets to know a victim, a witness, or an unsub and the vest leaves his torso, his gun folds itself and his IQ lowers. Alot.

Let's get back to the example I put of the guy that was murdered by Lindsey's dad- in that moment he wasn't a murderer to Reid, in that moment all he saw was a teenager begging for his life and HE could be the only to save him- he couldn't. He obsessed over that instead of what the guy did and that lead him to desire to insert Diluid inside of him after 10 months of sobriety, not to mention being A BIG factor in what he does on Elephant's Memory.

"I thought I could save this one" was his response when Hotch scolded him.

Spencer literally can't forget shit. So he tries to make sure that when he knows someone, even if is on a dying moment like the mentioned UnSub, he can save them. He forms some kind of bond with someone and they stop being an face and a name adhered to his board that he is determined to save/get justice for because is his literal job and he is overall a good person. In his mind, it becomes his responsibility whenever that person it's saved, and when that crosses over obsessive territory and his job, that makes it mandatory to always put the need of the many vs the one (especially if it's an unsub) well....

It's when he spiral and puts his career/the case in jeopardy at best, and his life at worst, no to mention what that shit does to his already questionable mental health.

In the second ep of the tenth season, Reid confesses to Morgan that after killing the LDSK, it suddenly hit him and he obsessed over all the "what ifs", at that moment that guy wasn't the LDSK that almost got him, his boss and a hospital full of mortal hostages in danger- he was the man that Spencer Reid killed- and it only ended when he stopped obsessed over HIM and started to put his victim's faces on his wall, forcing his focus on them instead.

He was more focused on the father of the victim on "identity" than the actual unsub himself because years before he had stopped him from seeing his daughter, and had made enough of an impact to be remembered by him in the present. Thanks to that bond, that little relationship, Spencer was able to put himself between a highly emotional distraught father's gun and the man he wanted to kill, to protect him.

He didn't get to personally know Samantha until the end- but he got to meet the scumbag that raped her. Add that to the already soft spot he has for children and you have a very angry Reid ready to do literally anything to make sure this woman that didn't even knew him was safe.

And ironically enough, what prompt me to do this thesis wasn't even one of those nice touchy feeling moments Spencer had with someone he bonded over- either personally or on a parasocial level- but one where he was wrong, but was about to risk a whole case over it. Rock Creek Park.

In that episode, Spencer and this other girl are keeping watch over this mafia thing so this politician guy's wife cane come back (as you can see I pay attention to certain scenes more that others lmao) and you can see the exact moment where the mission....stops being Spencer's priority.

After hearing this girl's conversation with her mother, she stopped being "the maid" and became someone Spencer's "knows" and so this leads to....this

....why did I bother with that text block when this scene spills it out- Anyways.

I dunno why but Rossi's reaction always sends me to the stratosphere- he knows.

Anyways, turns out that the helpless maid was actually on it all along and Reid almost throws the entire case off over nothing- *slows clap*

Ok ok, this might seem like I am slandering my boy but as fun as it is to make fun of him, this is exactly why I love him. This recklessness as a result of tunnel vision it's....concerning considering his line of work, and his eagerness to go far and beyond for someone he barely knows just because he knows them, above everything else and he is there, and can't bare the thought of not doing anything for them., to have their death's imprinted on his memory.

In conclusion- he ain't lawful good/neutral like the first few episodes want to make you think, he is chaotic good. And a mess. And I love him.

[crackedramblings]

Notes from 24.3.24

I've been trying to analyze myself and why I got drawn into CA's channel and the group. The logical part of my mind never really believed some of what she talked about; as you know I even left the group at one point as life got really tough and it wasn't serving me. But I came back because I really did hear the group in my mind calling me. I still feel that I know some of you on a soul level. You, K, a few others feel familiar (not Mort though haha). Even if none of this turns out to be real (I never saw any alien ships, I'm still salty about it) I still believe in a HS. Even if none of this is true, part of me that wanted me to follow this road for some reason. Why? What was it?

I never even cared about a recall, tbh. I don't think I ever told anyone in the group this but I took the first two doses of the thing. It wasn't even necessarily that I was scared of getting sick. I just ... didn't care if the thing hurt me. I really, really didn't. I decided to be a willing guinea pig because, if it turned out to be toxic, who cares? I'm ready to go. I felt that way three years ago, and I still feel that way. Sure I have moments of fun on this planet, moments of enjoyment; music and food, cute cat antics, etc. But if I got a bad diagnosis tomorrow and I was given the choice of treatment, I'd likely just say 'no thanks, give me pain pills and leave me alone.' This world is not my home, like they used to say in my church. So many people in the group were worried about whether or not it would hurt people and for me, for myself, I just didn't care in the least. So I took the first two and never got any more. Ironically it was my mom of all people that absolutely refused to take it. It even irritated me at first. She was already in poor health, what did she care? She kept talking about infertility, as if she was in her 30s or something. I'm pretty sure she thought (and still does) that it's the mark of the beast or whatever.

But nevertheless, I took it, and I'm still here, and maybe I've had ill effects (all the heart fluttering? idk) but maybe not. Maybe I've just lived an American life fill of crap food and crap soda and sitting on the couch and now that I'm almost fifty freaking years old, it's caught up with me. Maybe it was all just another one of the stupid endless games my HS plays to keep itself entertained. Similar to the stupid endless stories my mind makes up to keep myself entertained. Because this world is just crap. I've heard spiritual people say 'Oh your HS is thrilled to be here' but I call BS. I can't find joy here. You know with all this free time I have not working (and boy does that trigger some people) I've not done anything worthwhile (and that triggers people even more). My latest idea is I want to start getting into whisky. Such a 3D thing. I mean several of my ancestors were alcoholics so, why is this even crossing my mind? What is my HS playing at?

Did I make the idea of my HS up? Is life here so incredibly intolerable that I created an idea of an HS just to make it more bearable? I don't think I did, I think it's real. And I really don't want to part ways with my HS, I really don't. But for whatever reason it wanted me to believe in what CA was telling us. Even if it turns out to all be a story to entertain us for three years.

Maybe I'm just resisting. IDK. Maybe not. But I can't make any sense of it. All I can do is keep eating, sleeping, doing laundry, all the crap human stuff that I have to do every day. I can't even stop, like I told myself once. I can't stop doing this stuff. I'll need an outside force to stop me. Or what I perceive as one.

IDK. I'm in a mood. Maybe it'll become clear. Maybe not. Maybe this was all an exercise to get me writing, which I'm supposed to be doing anyway according to my QHHT session. Blah.

[mikuni14]

Twins - Ep 10

So, I'm the type of BL series enjoyer, who can forgive a lot as long as the series gives me something in return and makes up for its issues with something else. Twins was a very silly show that I liked anyway because it made up for its dumbassery with other things. I really liked Twins a lot, in some way I still do, I LOVE SPRITE my babyboy, but what has been going on in this show for the last two episodes is beyond comprehension and is turning my hair gray. In general, I have the impression that the last two episodes were filmed just to somehow fill the time and wait until episode 11 OF DOOM, in which the shit will finally hit the fan. And it's very, very stupid, because Sprite could have confessed the truth to First in this episode, he could have spent the entire episode 11 regaining First's trust, and in episode 12 we could have had a happy boyfriends era, like they did in Laws of Attraction, for example 😶

Watching the last two episodes is actually painful because what's fun about watching First suffer? The worst thing is that Sprite SEES IT and DOES NOTHING ABOUT IT. THIS EPISODE HAD A FEW MOMENTS WHERE ANYONE WHO HAS A HEART WOULD JUST TELL HIMTHE TRUTH. The weirdest thing is that there is absolutely NO reason to continue this sick situation, the series, as far as I know, never explains it, apart from this being a Zee's whim, which everyone just agrees to, instead of smacking him on the head and telling him to get his shit together. That's why I don't understand and I can't forgive Sprite for what he's doing, because at this point he's putting himself, his fucked up family, and I don't know, Zee's volleyball career?? which I don't even know if he wants to continue?? instead of the guy he loves, who is worried, confused, hurt and probably a little scared. Nothing about this situation makes sense, what is the purpose of all this? What are the true intentions of Zee and Sprite? Do they want to continue this…. FOREVER?? omg lol

Moreover, simply pretending to be someone else, making someone fall in love with you by pretending to be someone else, having sex as someone else is simply morally unacceptable. I would understand it maybe in some life and death situation. This is NOT such a situation, they are just selfish and extremely stupid. And First could simply start to suspect that either Sprite or he himself is ill, hallucinating, or having a split personality, WHAT'S ROMANTIC ABOUT THAT??? Does Sprite really not know what Zee is like and what he is like towards First??? Doesn't Salmon know this??? Sprite is so worried about his relationship, he wants to be with First, he begs him to ignore his "strange behavior", but at the same time he forgets that Zee can destroy this relationship with ONE WORD. Gods, this pisses me off so much. Let's remember that these are students, technically they are adults. If each of them took 1 (one!!) minute to analyze this situation, they would realize how stupid what they are doing is. AND THAT THIS SITUATION HAS NO FUTURE. I was sort-of ok with the whole twins swap at first because I understand the convention of this series (although I hate this trope). But now it really doesn't make sense and is just TOO stupid!!

*screams*

The best thing about this ep is their date (when Sprite is like he was when I first fell in love with him, with his goofy, dumb smile and attitude) and the cross pendant dangling between their naked bodies as they have sex, which basically is a

✨poetic cinema✨

Also. Drunk sex. Really? Are we still doing this in my BLs? Ok, I'm not very strict about this, there are different situations, sex is not always perfect. But this is not a situation where someone is only slightly drunk, where the relationship is already "in progress", where both are attracted to each other and are aware of each other's attraction, and alcohol only somehow gives them a "boost". Sam was drunk to the point that he couldn't stand and he doesn't remember anything, wtf.

So. Twins. *screams*

[cosmicallyavg]

18, 19, 22

what is a line/scene you’re really proud of? give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

jhjdahkjd as embarrassing as it is every time i think about it. i genuinely am so proud of myself for the entirety of “let your eyes look up upon me for the better”??? like wtf was that? i wrote sex? and ive been told it was good? by many people? what???? like the whole thing could use a DVD commentary, like i could break down every line but that would take so long and i doubt anyone actually would read it all but ill just do a quick summary of my commentary for it.

i genuinely think thasmin has awoken something in me because never in a million years would i have thought i would want to write something mature and i actually did?? and still think of similar ideas to this day? but i really feel such strong connections to each of the characters in different ways that i wanted to depict in this fic, so i did. you could do a whole psychoanalysis on me based on the fic alone because so much of myself is in there adkjsgjsdf 

as an asexual person, fanfiction is a scary place to navigate because there is a lot of very explicit sex, which for some might not be a huge deal, but for me it is. so i wanted to create something that i was comfortable writing, and therefore would be comfortable reading, that still allows me to participate in that sort of writing. and i hope other ace people who are typically uncomfortable reading smut would be able to read as well. i wanted to write sex from what i call “the ace-gaze” where the focus is on the emotion and the characters rather than on the actual sexual acts themselves. and what better vessel to portray it than thasmin??  because i do sometimes want characters to do that kind of stuff, but i dont want to be quite literally disgusted reading it. smut always feels so fake to me. like ur telling me those people just Did that? and no one feels nervous or scared? unrealistic. dont want it. reading something else.

so seeing myself in these characters, i wanted them to be able to engage in such activities, but i wanted it to be realistic, to be exactly how i would imagine things to progress between the two. because with the doctor being asexual (they are and you cannot take this from me) and yaz only just admitting that she’s queer and therefore being inexperienced (my personal headcanon) i just Know it would be so awkward. and i didnt want to skirt around it, i wanted it to feel real. that neither of them know what theyre doing but they just want to have the experience together because they dont have much time left and they love each other 😭😭😭 

so yeah. there are so many layers to that fic and i could talk about it for hours analyzing every line i wrote but that would be. a lot to unpack. 

who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? why?

i genuinely typed up a whole response for this and then decided i wanted to change my answer so here we go jsdfhskjd

my range of characters that i have written is very very small but i have found that writing actions/dialogue for the doctor is a lot more fun than for a companion? like theyre so neurodivergent theyre just like me fr so a lot of the awkwardness comes naturally to me vs a companion that is generally less ND, or at least that they dont express it in a way that i can relate to and therefore can write easier.

now when it comes to exposition/the internal monologue of a character, using the companion’s POV is a lot easier bc it can be hard to express how i imagine the doctor’s internal monologue is. like thoughts jumping from one to the next to the next with seemingly no connection?? ultimately i Get it, like my brain does the same thing, so im no stranger to the process, but writing it in a way that is effective and that makes sense to readers can be difficult.

and generally the stories that i come up with are more easily depicted from the companion’s POV, so i get to do their internal thoughts and then the doctor’s actions/dialogue. so it’s often the best of both worlds!! but my current WIP actually is told mostly from the doctor’s POV so we Are switching it up a bit here soon 👀

TL;DR: ultimately it depends on what aspect of writing we are talking about, whether its actions, dialogue, exposition, prose, description, etc. because each character can be easier/harder for some and not the others.

have you cried while writing a fic?

no, but i definitely do write a line sometimes and i feel the sort of happy/sad/etc that i would hope my readers will feel when they read it. like sometimes i write something and im genuinely impressed with my capabilities because i type the line and i just Know the readers are going to eat it up

fic author questions <3

[multi-lefaiye]

OK SO I THINK SCOOB ONLY HAVING PARTIAL CYAN EYES MIGHT MEAN HIS CONNECTION TO CYAN IS IFFY? He does mention he cant maintain his Ballyhoo as long anymore, and he tells Shaggy he still doesn't have all his memories yet, so i think its just a case of it only being there rarely? We also do see that the blessing isn't an "on" or "off" thing, but that its a slider, so maybe that has something to do with it? I think its just a visual thing though, idk if we're gonna get anyone with like 25% of a blessing

I ALSO WANNA ADD SOMETHING THAT IM GENUINELY NOT SURE IS ME OVER-ANALYZING OR IS INTENTIONAL BUT THE LITTLE STAR SHAPE SHOWS UP SO MUCH? We see it first when Scoob uses his ballyhoo- Its even the thumbnail! but we also see it:

- chapt 45, the stars

- chapt 75, Power ends in a star when i think for patrick he just. disappears. Important to note that patrick just DIES when mickey has no gift, but gun man (IM SO BAD WITH NAMES) ends in a star. It hink Power only gained the ability to turn On when Mickey made the deal.

- chapt 75 again, the SFX have stars

- chapt 86, Shaggy 2's jumpcut has a little star

- 91, the tv has a star, also the stars in the sky

THERES PROBABLY MORE (i just glanced at the parts i remembered it), BUT I JUST REALLY NOTICED HOW COMMON OF A SHAPE IT IS IN THE SERIES. Maybe its just the artstyle, idk but it just stands out a LOT once you see it

Also in support of u and what characters r attractive ill go first. Shag and Gadget. Thats it thats the list. Im gay as hell. Also Gadget's eyes showing the "?" is peak design, ty for coming to my ted talk-

YEAH THAT MAKES SENSE!!! I think that's correct honestly--I definitely think that Scooby made a deal of some kind and that's what we're supposed to take from it, but 100% it seems the nature of it isn't the same as the other deals we've seen. At the very least, the fact that he's had his memories wiped is affecting it. Also, you have a good point about the slider--I think that's a really interesting detail tbh?? So there's a chance Scoob's slider isn't turned up all the way.

ALSO LISTEN OKAY OVERANALYSIS IS THE NAME OF THE GAME!!!! I think it's fair to say that a lot of what we've talked about doesn't have canon answers yet, but that doesn't mean we can't speculate!!! Also literally overanalyzing media is fun.

BUT YEAH THAT'S A REALLY INTERESTING THING TO POINT OUT.... I think it could be a part of the art style, but it's an interesting piece of symbolism to bring up again and again. I'm not sure of what I think the implication of this is yet, but if you have any other thoughts please absolutely send them my way.

Also thank you <3 I'm answering this before posting my list, but I hope you like it because I am unashamed in thinking this fucking comic has some really hot characters. Okay, that's a lie, I'm a LITTLE ashamed, but only in a joking way. Also you're SO FUCKING RIGHT... both of them are on the list <3 I remember when Gadget first showed up I messaged a bunch of my friends saying "IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR WHY'D THEY MAKE INSPECTOR GADGET HOT." So uh that's the that on that <3

EDIT: YOUR POINT ABOUT POWER IS ALSO MAKING ME THINK WAIT- Because yeah that is an interesting distinction!!!! Like... it seems the blessings from entities amplify whatever ballyhoo already exists in some way, so it’d make sense that THAT’S how Mick is so fucking powerful, to the point of having nothing that can counter him.

[mundanememorize]

okay i will rant for like two seconds my once a month rant but i have recently realized fucking psychology or i guess like modern/pop psychology especially is destroyingggg art. so bad.

like as writer/artist for like the past 2-3 years i’ve found myself being like oh i need to be able to perfectly articulate how my stories deal with mental health and then i get in this awful loop bc i’m not writing anymore im dissecting.

and on the audience part too it’s also awful. i love metas and analysis etc etc but it’s all turned into this strange phenomenon of like “proving a theory” and so many of these metas (im just going to use that for the catchall) focus on the same dissection.

just lately when it comes to art and discussion old or new academic or twitter rants i feel like i constantly see people asking “what is wrong with the artist to make them make this” instead of understanding the emotion or subject present in the piece and dissecting that as it relates to you. it has ti be clinical and hard fact and true to the creators intent.

i hate this approach so much and the way i see it effects my writing has made me crazy so i’m glad i’ve realized. i do not like to see abstract concepts put into a box im sure no one else does but being in like online art culture it’s so so so bad for that because no one can discuss anything online it has to be a debate. and then you’re debating art instead of analyzing and sharing experience.

this is all very vague and that’s kind of the point. what i’m talking about applies to anyone from like brain rotted edge lord anime girl artists to characters in mainstream/high production projects. there is no separation of art from artist on the basis of how does it make you feel it seems like it’s everyone’s wondering what’s going on in the artists head and trying to use their art as tools to figure it out. i think that has terrified me in creating and it’s made me feel like i have to make it present in my art in the first place so i have “nothing to hide” but why does an audience need to be in your psyche???

this is not me saying exploring mental health and illness and symptoms of it in art is a bad thing, it is exactly the opposite. it’s when it turns into everyone fighting about how xyz proves their headcanon correct and then no one else is allowed to interpret a character another way when the point of most art from the people i know and/or admire want the exact opposite. every character should be a mirror to a large variety of people and experiences. the same shade of green should excite one person and disgust the next. i am just so tired and appalled and over the like compartmentalization of art to enjoy it as a monolith go fuck yourself!!!!!

and i kind of got off topic with the subject of psychology present in art but looking at art with a psychological lense can be fun but that’s the lens you should already be using in the sense of connecting emotionally to pieces. i’m seeing yourself in the art right in front of you. most people (especially people who don’t create art often) go into art immediately trying to “figure it out” which i understand but how to you make it clear to everyone that they already understand, they just need to listen to what is there in front of them.

to look at art through a clinical lens is the death of art is maybe a more accurate way of talking about it. to look at art and try to dissect it, not for yourself, but to say “i know exactly what the artist was thinking” you’ll never be right. it’s fun to joke about in the basis of relation to the art but then that’s just you relating. that’s your experience and perception. you will never know the artists intent.

this is more specific and a little more silly but i feel like that^ over laps with people freaking out about character and “good/bad” representation. saying gay characters can only act this way. that characters with plurality can only be portrayed like this. that characters with a disability or neurodivergence or this or that can only say this list of things or else you’ve made a “harmful character”. of course there is harmful stereotyping but i would hope everyone able to publish and produce stuff knows what to do and not to do. i know that’s not realistic but i hope majority of writers don’t need a strict do and does list to write all of their stories!

i really mean this more in the way of making a strict view of how exactly to portray a certain character especially when it comes to marginalized identity and psychology then makes a new box that pisses people off. people did not like autistic people being portrayed as emotionless genius robots who parade as people and that’s normal because that is fucked up. but why now does every autistic character need to be almost a joke about being “too weird”. why also does a character need to be confirmed by the creator to be anything. it’s definitely nice but to me if a character portrays your experience without being confirmed anything, why not just enjoy the character in the way you perceive them. i’m also just a really big fan of ambiguity and surrealism in art so that’s how i prefer to take it but i don’t understand why every single aspect of art needs to be labeled for enjoyment. it’s killing it.

i kind of got off track with this but i hope it’s clear how i feel like psychology effects art in the ways of when you confine symptoms to one box and you put people into those boxes and those people love art and make art. then the perception of art will be affected and it’s hurting it badly. it is okay to be uncertain but i think psychology is hurting people and art badly in tandem

[sktsmiyasimp]

Representation of Male Trauma in the Hunger Games: Gale

CW: general violence from canon events, abandonment issues

Ok so it turns out I actually cannot shut up about this series so here’s another post about the depiction of trauma in the male characters in THG.

Something I really love about the series is again how SC plays with gender. From their upbringing to their traumas to their coping mechanisms, a lot of the male characters suffer wounds we often see in female characters and vice versa, whether it’s abandonment, parental wounds, various types of abuse, and trauma from relying on poor coping skills. Given that these stereotypes don’t hold IRL, it makes these depictions even more important to see and analyze. I dove into Peeta’s childhood trauma in my last THG post, so for this series I think I’ll focus on Gale, Finnick, and Haymitch, but I am happy to make another Peeta post too :))

Gale’s Love, Loss, and Loneliness:

I like to rag on Gale for fun on tiktok since I was a diehard Peeta fan when I first read the series (11 year old me definitely wished I had my personal baker boy!). However, I do genuinely believe he’s a good character, and a lot of the slander he faces regarding his relationship with Katniss is a direct reflection of his trauma growing up. This post focuses on how his abandonment issues lead to a violent grasping of control.

We learn early on that Gale lost his father at 14 in the same explosion that killed Katniss’s father. Additionally, while Hazelle is a much more involved parent than Mrs Everdeen is post-explosion, Gale still has to take on a lot in order to feed his family of five.

So not only does Gale have to grow up too fast, he also finds that he doesn’t have a lot of people he can rely on, emotionally or literally. He has his mother, but no male figure to look up to for guidance or advice. He also has his siblings, but when you have to raise your siblings like they’re your own kids, it often feels inappropriate to confide in them. Gale is, essentially, alone.

Then Gale finds Katniss in the woods. To Gale, Katniss is the one person he can rely on to both fully understand losing a father/growing up too quickly AND help feed his family. As shown throughout the series, they trust one another in ways they don’t trust anyone else. They make each other feel physically and emotionally safe to be themselves. They are, in fact, each other’s woods to escape in.

So, when Gale loses Katniss in the 74th games, he obviously feels distraught, especially when she doesn’t entirely come back to him despite surviving. The part of Katniss that felt safe and exclusively his died in the arena. Once again, Gale is alone.

Now, this part is where I like to kind of rag on him given that Katniss isn’t a possession. And really, if your best friend had to kiss someone else to survive a totalitarian regime’s death trap, then telling them about how upset you are about not being able to kiss them too seems insensitive and problematic.

But again, Gale has no adult father figure to help him navigate romance. He has never had much time or energy for anyone else. And in a world where his life could so easily be upended by an explosion or illness or reaping, Katniss was someone consistently in his life, someone who always showed up for him, someone with whom he could truly be himself. So, much like basically everyone in D12 (besides Katniss herself) thought, he kind of assumed that Katniss would be around forever. And when she suddenly wasn’t, well…it’s easy to see how this abandonment wound got triggered. And while saying “I had to do that, at least once” after kissing her traumatized and emotionally confused ass was rather selfish, Gale has never been allowed to be selfish in his life. Ultimately, an 18 year old with a shaky support system is not going to make the best decisions, communicate well, or cope perfectly every time. So his reaction, while unlikeable, makes sense.

Another thing I want to touch on with Gale is his plan with the bombs, both with the Nut and in the Capitol. People like to boil it down to “Gale murdered prim lmao,” and “Gale’s a war criminal,” and while Katniss will never be able to separate Gale from that act, it’s definitely more nuanced than the memes.

We see Gale’s plans become more and more sinister throughout Mockingjay (he’d definitely become a victor had he ever been reaped). While I obviously do not condone any of those plans, it’s hard not to empathize with him. The capitol repeatedly ripped up anything Gale saw as stable and happy. And again, without extensive support and lots of therapy, it makes sense that a fiery 18 year old who’s life has repeatedly been ruined emotionally would want revenge. For once in his life, Gale has control over what happens. His voice matters; he has a place amongst Coin’s elite forces and strategists, and he’s surrounded by likeminded people who have losses and angers just as large as his own. Unlike when he was just ranting to Katniss alone in the woods, he has an army full of people just like himself. Gale is no longer alone.

Additionally, he has some form of Katniss again…which is good in that he has his best friend around, but bad in that he also lives with the constant reminder of who she is now vs who she was before, and the person who did this to her—and who did this to him—is in closer reach than ever before.

The main issue lay in the fact that not only did most people (even Katniss) fail to direct that energy towards the correct target, but the higher ups that DID give Gale that sense of power and control actively encouraged these unmerciful plans. It really places Coin right on Snow’s level even before we learn of her plans for the new games, killing off the victors, or extinguishing Katniss’s spirit. The ways in which she manipulated the young, the emotionally vulnerable, and the angry really hinted at her villainy all along, and Gale and Katniss’s relationship was unfortunately a casualty. Of course, we never really know what may have been, and of course Gale’s anger and fire probably would have led to their downfall anyway. But Coin using Gale’s trauma to her advantage definitely turned a potential into a reality.

TL;DR:

Gale’s weak support system, repeated abandonment, and lack of control made his character painfully realistic. While some of his actions certainly made him unlikable and ruined his relationship with Katniss, I think he deserves some slack given his circumstances.

Edit: while I call Gale’s support system weak, I don’t mean that his mother/Katniss/other family don’t care for him. It’s just that a support system isn’t really a strong system if there are only one or two people that you can only partially rely on.

[masterjedilenawrites]

Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 2

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. First, 2 platonic chapters for set-up/build-up. And then, the story will split into 2 paths depending on your romantic pairing preference: You and Thrawn, or You and Eli.

Chapter Masterlist

Chapter 2: The Plan

Pairing: None...yet...

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of bullying

Length: 2k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The rest of the week saw the three of you using every bit of free time outside your classes and studies to gather information for Thrawn to build a solid plan.

Eli tailed his pesky classmate Arden everywhere, even skipping a class one day to break into his dorm, trying to learn anything about the guy that could be useful to get him involved in the plot. Thrawn analyzed the simulation software and protocols that would be used to administer the tests, mapping out every possible way Commander Burdick could hijack it. And you were the one spying on the Burdick himself. Since the commander didn't seem too interested in your grades, you were able to shadow him without suspicion, and had been able to slip a bug into his offices to eavesdrop on any potential conversations about his plans for sabotage.

Your classmates and the staff were none the wiser. That was the advantage of being social outcasts. Half of them avoided you all like the plague, and the other half already thought you were weird people doing weird things. So it wasn't long before you'd all gotten enough intel to work with.

It was late in the evening at the end of the week. You found yourself in Thrawn and Eli's shared dorm, which looked identical to your own in the opposite wing, because the Empire couldn't bother with things like individuality or comfort. Eli sat on the edge of his top bunk, his legs swinging casually, and his coat unbuttoned to reveal a wrinkled undershirt you knew he hadn't bothered to wash all week. Thrawn paced about in the middle of the room, his long strides only allowing him about four good steps before he had to turn around. He still had his uniform on, boots and badges and all.

You leaned against the railing of the bed, watching Thrawn as he went back and forth. Sometimes he sat still when he was scheming, with his fingers steepled and his gaze seemingly reaching into some unknown dimension beyond your comprehension. That usually happened when he was running through variables that didn't concern you, at least from his perspective. You and Eli had accepted long ago there would always be parts of his plans he would never share with you. He was kind of a control freak like that.

But tonight, he seemed to be more welcoming of collaboration, hence his steady rhythm of pacing in front of you.

"Only one variable remains, as I see it," he was saying. "We understand how the commander will manipulate the system to cause a redundancy in the simulation, thus rendering the test impossible to finish successfully."

You and Eli shared a glance; the only person who truly understood how that was going to happen was Thrawn. He'd tried explaining numerous times but when it came to codes and tech, the two of you weren't able to fully keep up.

"We also know through your investigating," Thrawn motioned to you with what you thought was an impressed look, causing you to feel a little pride, "that the commander plans to only sabotage my test, believing it will be too suspicious if Eli also fails. He will also manipulate his false code to originate from the computer of his former lover Eva Carroway, who currently works in HR. So if an investigation does ensue, it will be traced to her and not him."

You and Eli chuckled under your breaths. It had been a little amusing when you'd discovered Commander Burdick was using this plan to not only undermine Thrawn, but also get revenge on his ex-girlfriend. But even more hilarious was how awkward Thrawn treated the subject. He had been quite perplexed to learn people could be so vindictive after a break-up. And any time he explained that detail of the plan, like he was doing now, he hesitated over his word choice. You couldn't tell if he only pretended to be confused about romantic relations, or if that was truly an area he found himself lost in.

If Thrawn noticed your snickering, he didn't respond to it, only continued to recap the plan. "We have also determined how we will expose the altered code naturally, so it does not cast suspicion on us... What was the word you used?"

"Backfire," said Eli.

"Yes. It would not due to have anyone suspect that we altered the test ourselves, or to have our concerns disregarded altogether. Thus, arranging for the maintenance crew to get a mild case of food poisoning so their performance checks are postponed to occur right before the tests will take care of that variable. At the least, they will fix the altered code and I will take the test as normal. At the most, they will report it and the commander faces expulsion."

"So..." said Eli through a yawn as he stretched. "What's left to work out, then?"

Now it was time for you and Thrawn to share a look.

"Were you not interested in involving your classmate, Arden Fey?" asked Thrawn in his soft, contemplative voice.

Eli shrugged. "Yeah. But Burdick's already got his scapegoat, his ex. So it'll be easier to keep him out of it. Whatever."

You could tell he was trying to be nonchalant. But just this morning, he had spent the entire walk between classes ranting about some new insults Arden had come up with, and how badly he wanted to show the guy up once and for all. You knew your friend wasn't feeling "whatever" about it.

"It's not a matter of ease or difficulty," Thrawn stated plainly. He had stopped pacing and was standing with hands behind his back, highlighting the broadness of his shoulders and the height of his stance. His presence seemed to fill up the whole room, and not for the first time, you were glad to be his friend and not his enemy.

"Yeah," you added in encouragement. "We just have to get creative. Find a way to make Arden a more appealing scapegoat than Burdick's ex. In fact...."

You trailed off as an idea occurred to you. You darted out of the room, surely leaving your two friends perplexed, but you would only be a second. You sprinted down the corridor toward the lifts, where a bulletin hung against the wall with fliers and pamphlets. One notice was a bit larger than the others, a promotion of an upcoming gala event to celebrate the Academy's anniversary. You ripped it off and went racing back to the boys' dorm room.

Eli had come down from the bunk and held a concerned look, probably prepared to follow you if you hadn't returned so quickly. Thrawn was still standing composed, but there was a curiosity in his eyes that made you smile.

You held up the poster in front of your chest. "What do you think the likelihood is of us playing successful matchmakers this week?"

Thrawn understood your idea almost immediately, looking down on you with a pleased smirk. It made you flush a little, to know the Chiss was impressed. You rarely had a chance to contribute good ideas when his mind worked so much faster than yours.

Eli caught on next, and he started to grin, the happiest you'd seen him in a while. His smile was infectious and you grinned back. Happy looked good on him.

"We know Eva's not shy with younger guys," you explained. "Before Burdick, she was fooling around with some intern in the med bay."

"And Arden's vain enough," added Eli. "If he thinks anyone's interested, he'll go for 'em."

"So we get him to ask her to the gala as his date...." you said.

"Burdick sees the two of them together...." said Eli.

"And realizes he can get back at his lover in another way, by pinning the sabotage on another student...." joined Thrawn.

The three of you stood together, proud and satisfied that yet another plan had finally worked out. It was almost worth the stressful studying and petty bullying and all the other unpleasant things you had to endure at this god-forsaken school, just to have fun moments like this with trusted friends.

"We should attend this gala as well," Thrawn said eventually, holding out a hand for the poster. He inspected it thoughtfully. "It is only a few days before the tests, so I hadn't planned to pay it any mind. But now...."

"Yeah, we should make sure Burdick's as jealous as we want 'im," nodded Eli.

You were secretly pleased. The plan was already a win-win, but now you would be able to go to the event yourself, too. You hadn't mentioned your desire to go to either of them before, figuring they weren't interested and not wanting to sound silly if you suggested it. But you did love dancing, and it was so very rare you got a chance to wear something other than your Imperial uniform.

"It's a dance," you noted, in case they couldn't tell by the details on the poster. "We'll need to go in pairs."

"I suppose it would make the most sense for you and Eli to go together," said Thrawn quietly.

You looked between the two, realizing both of them were flushed slightly. Eli's cheeks were dotted with pink, standing out amongst his dark brown features, while Thrawn had more of a purple tint to his face now, a color you'd never seen there before. You could feel yourself growing warm and uncomfortable as well. It was only a dance... only a way for you to enact a much more important plan... but it was the first time your trio had had to engage in anything other than platonic friendship. The balance of your group seemed to be shifting ever so slightly in this moment, and you had no way of knowing if it was for good or ill.

You cleared your throat, pushing away any feelings that might have been brewing in your chest, and instead calling focus back to the mission at hand.

"Actually, I think I'd better go with Thrawn. Whoever doesn't go with me would have to find their own date, and no offense Thrawn, but I think Eli has the better chance of asking someone else."

You hoped they hadn't noticed how hollow your voice sounded, how hard you were trying to keep yourself emotionless.

Eli was pinker than ever. "Uh, I highly doubt that..."

"You're not completely hated around here, you know," you said quickly. "Definitely not with the girls. You're not bad looking, you can be charming if you try, and you're... you know, human." You glanced at Thrawn and added again quietly, "No offense."

Thrawn shook his head. His color and demeanor had already slipped back into his usual neutral self. "No, I agree. Those are the dynamics of our peers and we must work with it. I will take you to the gala, Eli will find his own date, and all three of us will push Arden and Eva together as well. It's a good plan."

You all nodded in agreement. But there was a knot in your stomach, a nervousness you didn't quite understand. You cared very much for both Thrawn and Eli. They were your best friends, your only friends. As a group, you were bonded by your ostracism, protecting and supporting each other on your journey out of this hell-hole.

And separately, you had something special with each, too. You and Eli came from similar backgrounds, and had the same need to disconnect from your surroundings and just have a bit of fun every once in a while. The two of you had spent many late nights together, either hopping between bars, exploring the city, making each other laugh uncontrollably, or quietly sharing the honest thoughts you both buried far too deeply inside. Some nights you'd done all of the above, and returned to your dorm feeling both exhausted and renewed.

But Eli didn't always appreciate the finer things in life, and that's where you connected with Thrawn. He wasn't necessarily an optimist, but he had this way of noticing the beauty that existed everywhere around you, even in the most simple or mundane of moments. Everything had the potential to be interesting. His calm but strong presence had kept you grounded and sane throughout your studies here so far. Sometimes you would talk, other times you would simply be in the same space. And either way, you felt better about life.

You didn't exactly want your relationship with them to change. But you couldn't help but feel this gala would do just that....

Next Chapter: The Preparation >

Blueberry Path | Thrawn x reader

Cowboy Path | Eli x reader

[lavenderbexlatte]

Hello!!! Welcome to 🦋 anon's probably-way-too-overthought analysis on the m&m series in light of the new part. I have stopped crying and had about 24 hours to think, and I have discovered I have many thoughts, and this will probably be way more detailed than it should be.

The first thing I would like to address are some of the accusations Chan made at the end of the most recent part. (While I understand that they're supposed to not quite be accurate because of their obvious root in insecurity, and a lot of what I'm saying may just be like "yeah, obviously," I still would like to tell at the character a bit but I can't so this is what I have.)

Claim #1: "You fucking came at us at that party with your little girl-dom agenda and the guys fell for it, hook line sinker!"

This one's fairly self explanatory, no she didn't. They literally came onto her, even him, with his "There’s that pretty blush," and "Whatever you want it to be," lines. (And while yes, it's very likely that he was just trying to play it cool, but there's no way she could've known that, I'll come back to this later.)

Claim #2: "Nobody fucking asked me what I wanted!" "Nobody asked if I was sure that I wanted…"

Also mostly false, but he does have a tiny bit of a point. Yes, reader did grab his hair without asking, which is a little iffy, but she didn't actually rough with him until he goads her on. But I would argue that the reader is actually the ONLY one who asks him what he wants, if he's okay with things. While there may have been a little bit of discussion on the decision to approach the reader that we didn't see because of perspective (him saying this is kind of telling me that there wasn't, or at the very least not enough, maybe even some pressure for this to be the moment), or maybe Changbin said something while reader is with Jisung on the couch, after that, we don't see Jisung and Changbin check in with him at ALL, and there's not really an opportunity any other time for it just not have been noticed by the reader. As his partners, and the ones in the situation who have the full knowledge of Chan's situation, it should've been their responsibility to make sure he was alright throughout the process, even if they're not the ones in control for this situation, ESPECIALLY if they're going to keep this information from their Domme for the night (which really, I would say, wasn't a good idea, but no one is required to out themselves so I'll leave it alone).

HOWEVER, the reader does check with him, several times. She asks for boundaries/hard limits/etc before they even start anything, and while again, he's not required to say "hey, having a sexuality crisis, first time with a girl, kinda nervous," and he may not want to tip off Jisung and Changbin that something's wrong, that would be the time to say something like "I'm not feeling anything rough tonight, if you could be gentler that would be great." She asks them if there's anyone that doesn't actually want to fuck her. Also, she implements a safeword system (which she specifically calls him out to make sure he's okay with), which they weren't even going to USE, and asks them at least twice throughout the scene for their color, and Chan specifically if he's okay at least two more times besides that. Actually Chan almost makes fun of her for asking so many questions, so I think this claim is just another part of his insecurity-fed delusion that she's conspiring to ruin his life, or something, but again I'll come back to that. My point is that despite being the only one who doesn't know his situation, reader is also the only one who checks in with him.

There are a few other things he said that I took issue with, but those are the main two.

Next; Chan's delusion that reader is like conspiring to ruin his life. (Really like how you depicted this by the way, though I may be thinking wayyy too far into this.) I remember watching some video when I had one of my mental health/disorders hyperfixations. The video was about schizophrenia, and while I definitely don't think Chan has schizophrenia, one of the things the video talked about was types of delusions, and this kind of reminded me of one of them. I don't remember what it's called, but it's basically a delusion based around one idea, and then you force the world around you to fit into that idea. One example of this that I can think of is Azula from ATLA. Towards the end of her arc in the TV series, she starts seeing hallucinating her mother everywhere, and you get a peek of her fixed belief that her mother is behind everything that has gone wrong in her life, which is expanded upon a little bit in the books. Obviously Chan's not experiencing delusion to the extent that she did, but I did see some (albeit much less intense) parallels that were interesting. See, if he only talked about how his boyfriends seemed to like the reader more than him, that would be one thing, but he brings up his mother as well, which even though they did speak, it's a little out there to say that your mother likes someone she's talked to once more than you. That, combined with his insisting that the reader is playing some sort of game makes me think of that a little.

Of course this was only at first, when I was like "wtf, where is this 'my boyfriends like you more than me' thing coming from?" And then I reread the first few parts for this monstrosity of an ask that I'm writing rn. While at first I thought that this was entirely out of left field, when I read through the first few parts, especially the second one, with the knowledge that he felt that way, I noticed a few things you had put in there.

For the majority of the scene, or at least the first good chunk, the reader deals with Jisung and Changbin alone, leaving Chan by himself to watch. Obviously, as we see the reader's perspective, we know that it's because she found Chan's attitude intriguing and wanted to be able to deal with that one on one (at least that's what I got from it), it's easy to see now how to someone who's already insecure about their relationship and themselves, that would read as someone replacing you. Especially when Jisung, with no ill intent, but still, outright rejects his help in favour of the reader, and once again, he is left out, only this time it's accompanied with the sting of knowing (or at least feeling) that your partner didn't want you involved.

Now I kinda want to go character by character, and idk, talk about what I think they did wrong? We'll see, I'm not going to edit this so here we go.

Jisung and Changbin : Honestly, looking back on 3racha's first encounter with the reader, they really should have done better as Chan's partners. Like I said earlier, as the ones who knew Chan's situation, and the ones who likely pressured him slightly into he whole ordeal, it was really their responsibility to make sure Chan was okay with everything that was going on. That, and them feeling the need to sneak around with reader behind Chan's back doesn't sit right with me. I get that they have an open relationship, but there's a difference between having an open relationship and hooking up with someone your partner doesn't like, and actively trying to hide that you're hooking up with them. Their relationship boundaries may be fine with that, but idk, something feels off about it.

(I couldn't figure out where to put this and you may have already addressed this but it's my little theory/headcanon that Chan actually suspected it was reader at Jisung's place, and when there wasn't anyone there, he kinda gaslighted himself afterwards, idk. With the new knowledge it feels likely.)

Also, knowing that they were together for a while before Chan joined the relationship I think explains so much about the communication issues they seem to have with him. While I do think Chan has trouble communicating his feelings about things, I think their established communication and knowing eachother really well doesn't help. I may just be making things up at this point, but I feel like they have trouble with communication with Chan specifically, maybe forgetting that he doesn't have the same time/experience thy have with each other? If that makes sense?

Chan : oh boy. I've gone into a lot of detail already, so I'll try to keep this brief. Obviously, I think he has a looooottt of insecurity he needs to work through. If I were reallllyyy analyzing this I would say maybe a past cheating partner(?), but unless that's relevant to the plot I'm not sure if that's just me reading too much into this. Also mentioned before, COMMUNICATION ISSUES. One thing that would prevent half of the issues with this series is Chan communicating with his partners, though I suppose that wouldn't be near as much fun to read. Or just communicating I'm general, like I said, he had a plethora of opportunities to communicate to reader if he wanted something different, and didn't. So, yeah. Honestly I think he causes most of his own problems, but I feel like we knew that.

Reader : Now. I spent most of this series completely on the reader's side. Last night after reading part six, I was like "oh my god. He's right!" But then I took a while and thought a lot about it (as you can see), and honestly, I think reader probably did the least wrong out of everyone. Yes, the hair thing was a little iffy, like I said earlier, but once I went back and realized that he was actively participating and egging her on, I don't think that's necessarily something she did wrong. Beyond that, she did the most in regards of communication (at least during sex, after is another story), even more than the partners themselves. I think she did the best she could with the information that was given to her. She saw three guys approach her as a unit, and while yes, she didn't ask before engaging with Chan, I don't think it's really her fault for assuming that they were all interested as a unit as well. She had no reason to question any of their sexualities, why would she? She sees three partners approach her in unison, why wouldn't she assume they were on the same page? Anyway, all that to say, I think reader is the most innocent of all the main characters so far, though I may feel different after sitting on this for more time.

Anyway, here's this unedited brain dump, loved the new part, enjoy. Or not ig - 🦋

i've been sitting on this for like a week bc it's just so long and amazing??? and i have no idea what to say?? 🥺🥺

the bit about chan having a sort of delusion that reader is out to ruin his life in a pointed, conspired way is VERY interesting. their dynamic is actually something that i pulled from myself, in a way. i'm really superstitious about dumb things. i hate, like, bumping into someone or accidentally saying something that hurts someone's feelings bc i know that that karma/vibe/intention (whatever you wanna call it, i'm not spiritual just paranoid) is gonna come back around.

reader is the opposite. she's just walking around doing things and thinking about herself, and then being shocked when there are equal and opposite reactions to the stuff she does. i overthink everything, so reader doesn't think nearly enough.

but lemme say

that the best thing you said is how jisung and changbin are absolutely not the innocent bystanders that everyone seems to think they are 🤐🤐 most readers LOVE those two. but think about it...what are they trying to accomplish, here? 👀

[thevirgodoll]

My mental health has been stopping my success no matter how hard I try. I’ve been going to therapy and getting help and it’s getting a little better but it’s still unbelievably hard. I’d love to hear your tips on being gentle bc sometimes the thoughts get too much. And the people around me aren’t the kindest (working on getting out of this situation as well)

•get some sleep...ik this is the hardest thing but YOU NEED 8 HOURS - it changes everything...less sleep for me brings on an episode

•journaling: when things get rough literally just open a document or a diary and just let it all out, don’t worry about making it perfect...just do a stream of consciousness daily to analyze your thought process and be honest n real

•have a hobby...it will make you feel so much better

•remember that you have something impacting your brain and life...it is NOT your fault

•have someone that will hold you accountable and check in on you!!!

•get away from negative people...they’re a poison to you - if they happen to be in your space then limit your interactions with them and don’t give them any reaction. give them NOTHING! leave them fighting for attn

•be honest about your bad days!!! stop holding back on that because you’ll just feel like garbage

•depressive episodes? set timers to eat, set timers to shower, for everything

•prepare yourself when you’re feeling bad, have your snacks and movies and everything and just take it easy stop berating yourself just be nice and acknowledge that you’re sick and you deserve rest

•workout at home with a baddie playlist...get yourself moving or dance to some music

•have compassion for yourself the same way you have for other ppl. stop treating yourself like you don’t have feelings

•validate yourself...don’t overlook your trauma or pain. everyone is hurting. you’re allowed to hurt it doesn’t matter how far gone you think you are or how bad of a person your mental illness claims you are..you are doing okay and it’s going to get better. it’s not easy but it’s worth it. let your heart cry, and let your inner child catch a break. for once, just stop carrying the weight of it all.

•DONT LET ANYONE DEMONIZE OR STEREOTYPE YOUR MENTAL ILLNESSES!! this is why people invalidate themselves!! trust me i have a loottttt to say on this. people do NOT get it and i understand, trust me they use bipolar as an adjective (when it has multiple states??? so it makes no sense), they think my ADHD only means i’m smart and can’t pay attn (that’s...not even the half of it), and that there’s no disability or chronic illness...don’t let ppl downplay anything!!!!!!!! and don’t let ppl make you feel bad for meds either like? the ignorance!

•when intrusive thoughts come, take a deep breath and acknowledge how you’re feeling...question them...ask about the rationality...combat them with statements about yourself (“well i’m smart so that’s just not true.” “i know i’m loved so that’s just an irrational thought”). THE NEGATIVITY ITS ALL THOUGHTS & FEELINGS! but not facts

•combat more thoughts with comforting statements like

“i know this situation will pass”

“this feeling won’t last forever”

“i won’t fight my feelings. but i know they won’t be allowed to stay much longer. i’m going to focus on this opportunity to take back control of my life. my thoughts don’t control me, i do.”

“this will all be over soon. everything will be okay.”

•be honest in therapy...yes we can joke about lying but it does nothing but stunt your growth. tell the truth, the therapist is only there to help. this is a form of self love - you’re being honest and getting the treatment you deserve because you deserve to win!!!

•if you take medicine, don’t skip doses...no matter how hard the day is, you’re going to feel much worse if you skip any doses. you’re going to feel dead inside and absolutely horrible. medicine may not work one day but that doesn’t mean you won’t have a better day tomorrow. medicine isn’t guaranteed to always work, you’re going to still have bad days. monitor your progress though, if you have more bad days than good, schedule the appointment (if you have a mood disorder, consider the fact that you may be in an episode love). but do not stop meds without speaking to your doctor. and if your meds are working, don’t skip doses and stay hydrated and watch your alcohol intake / or don’t drink because all of these things can mess with the effectiveness of your meds.

•you may feel like being alone is worse than anything, but it’s not. your own company will end up being the best. this is the time to learn about yourself. cook new things. change your wardrobe. again, hobbies!!! learn new languages. have fun with yourself...do a exercise of 5 things you’re grateful for, qualities you love about yourself, and things you look forward to with yourself as far as mental health improvement. now on the flip side, don’t isolate yourself!!! let your loved ones in, and let them be there especially if they’re healthy to be around and they understand and are trying.

•suicidal thoughts: if you’re feeling this way, i understand...and because i understand i’m not going to make you feel bad about passively feeling this way. these thoughts that creep in are the worst, and they can cycle for hours on end even if you don’t WANT to do this. it’s going to be okay angel, i promise. don’t suffer in silence. and if you actively want to or still passively, please please PLEASE remember. you are important, worthy, and loved beyond measure... my inbox stays open for any and all concerns. love u all

[amphxtrite]

In relation to the #StopAsianHate tag, it seems fitting to add this contribution since China has been doing a lot of horribly questionable things(to put it mildly), and this has led to a rise in anti-asian rhetoric, with extras on the anti-chinese rhetoric.

It has affected overseas Chinese-descendants and the Chinese diaspora around the world badly, since they had no hand in what China did, nor do they share the same sentiments of China, yet they still get harassed and targeted. Even to the point of cop agents admit to accusing a Canadian professor of Chinese descent of being a spy, Hongkongnese coworkers mistreating overseas Chinese not from China, and a British-born Asian man getting deported without question.

So in lieu of letting this storm rage over even more, the better option appears to be to address everyone's concerns and assumptions about people of Chinese descent who are citizens since birth in other countries and have never set foot in china before.

The main point is: NOT ALL CHINESE AROUND THE WORLD ARE WUMAO COMMUNISTS, NOT ALL CHINESE DESCENDANTS SHARE THE SAME SENTIMENTS AS CHINA OR DOING THINGS FOR CHINA. Got it?

Now, to move on to the other part of attacks on Chinese culture and shaming people just for being Chinese.

1.It is okay to be Chinese-born; there is nothing wrong that you happen to be a Chinese person. You deserve dignity, pursuit of happiness, liberty and respect, just like any other race of person, black, white, Jew, etc out there. You are a person too and don't let anyone treat you otherwise.

2.Chinese people are not "spawn of the bad" or "corrupted subhuman" or "tainted genome"; they are not inherently rotten just by being of Chinese descrnt. There is no proof of that, when you pick apart gene sequences from a Chinese descendant in the clinic, it's still very similar to any other person's dna. Just like every nationality, there's kind people and there's assholes. And just like most other countries, who also had monarchy inbreeding, illness, and radiation(did you know of the Radium Girls in the 1920s, or the very unsafe nuclear testing in the 50s to 90s? They even used to put Radium in wristwatches for citizens to glow in the dark so casually.), the Chinese are no different. Just like to bring up the good parts of others' history rather than focus on the bad so much like china.

3.Chinese history, philosophy and culture does not have all bad parts. Please read and analyze everything, good and bad parts, if you want to make a proper judgement. It is very shocking to hear everyone at this point, so comfortable with joking: "let's nuke the Chinese" or "hope we bomb china badly if there's a war" or "the British and Japanese were good to wipe out the Chinese first" so casually! It is not a fair sentiment nor anti-racist one. If it's wrong to say: "the native Americans should have gotten rid of the arriving pilgrims because they were gonna genocide them anyways so might as well" or "black people should be allowed to hurt white people now for all they've done" then statements of that nature against Chinese is also wrong.

And just like other nations who came before and around the same time, these other nations also had bad parts of their culture. No one seems to highlight how colonizers used to practice Safari Game Hunting in Africa for centuries which killed a lot of animals leaving endangered species, no one talks about the quack and irrational remedies doctors in medieval Ages used to do, how they used to mix arsenic in paint on toys in Victorian era, European wars against indigenous peoples, as much as they keep on bringing up Chinese history's weak points and irrationally using it as a weapon to hold against Chinese people irrelevant to the cause of their past generations for years. It is unfair to whitewash your history while scorning the Chinese people's past.

Some Chinese clothing is nice. Some Chinese food is delicious. Some Chinese architecture can be very beautiful. Some Chinese inventions are useful. Those are the good points of Chinese culture. Not everything is tainted.

4.Not all Chinese are ugly. Or yellow skinned. Or receded jawed. Some have hooded eyes, some have high cheekbones, bigger mouths, wonky noses naturally too. Please look at every Chinese person without plastic surgery and analyze the whole populations faces, before you pass a half-assed judgement of how "ugly" they are in general! Seriously, if not how can you make a proper judgement?

5.As for other Asians who are non-Chinese, please stop trying to compare your cultures against theirs, treat it like a contest and say which one is the 'better Asian' to the people of the Occident(white). It is not cool nor necessary. Just do your thing go brighten your own little corner and you'll be great. Not every wumao is stealing your culture all the time sometimes cultures and trads just overlap or happen to be similar or shared through separation and migration reasons. Yes, you are a different non-chinese Asian and unique, there's no need to make noise or insult Chinese people just to prove your point too.

6.Overseas Chinese had ancestors who suffered too hence their migration and diaspora. Read about the Nanking Massacre, their Opium Addiction, 731 labs, Mao's rule, and other conditions. A lot didn't migrate for fun and games.

This is not dedicated to defending China's misdeeds or the Wumao, this is dedicated to the OVERSEAS people of Chinese descent, the Southeast Asian Chinese, the Chinese diaspora in the west, and anyone who didn't ask to be born with Chinese genes or ancestry but got it anyway: it's not your fault. Don't let yourself be shamed for being born this way, even when it's 'cool' to make fun of Chinese, and find a little pride in yourself. Take care and look out for yourself. There may be 1.4 billion mainland Chinese(even with the birth control policies), but there are many more overseas Chinese who need to be understood as "overseas people of Chinese descent" and respected as such.

For those who are non-chinese reading this, please think carefully anytime you want to post something, is it attacking only the current leaders in china or also targeting Chinese people or overseas Chinese-descent peoples too, before you become the very bigot you hate against a group of people or do a hate crime you might regret. Take a moment, and calm down.

Whoever needs to see this, glad you seen it, even if you need it translated. If you can tag it that would be helpful as well.

this right here 👏👏👏

i hope everyone remembers that it’s not all chinese people who are supporting the unjust things the government is doing. China in general is a very patriotic country and so when given the choice to believe something bad is happening or believing what they have been taught their entire lives (china is great and the best country in the world) they are going side with the statement that has been drilled into their heads since they were children. Chinese people aren’t ignorant they really just don’t know, every news outlet and media platform they use backs up the point that China is the best and they know if they step one toe out of line China is very powerful.

This is the government and the people of power’s doing and it doesn’t matter what the people think. The people either don’t know or don’t understand and it’s fry oho we many people repeatedly blame China as a whole for just a small part of it’s country’s doing.

What’s going on there is absolutely a violation of basic human rights and terrible but please take a moment to remember half the people don’t even know what is happening outside or inside their country because of how controlling everything is there.

Next, because everything there is decided by the government chinese immigrants have NO control over what happens there heck the people in china barely do. So the hate crimes in the west make no. fucking. sense. You’re not going to reach china by attacking u.a or canadian citizens you’re just adding to unnecessary violence. Elderly people, adults and children of north american citizenship are assaulted, harassed and bullied for somethings they cannot control and it’s terrifying how normalized the hate has become.

To all the chinese people seeing this stay strong, there’s no reason to be ashamed of where you or your family is from or how you look.

This anon put it best 🤍🤍

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: The Anime (pt. 5)

The anime is a different species than the manga, something that frequently happens during the adaptation from page to screen. Since they’re so different, I’ll analyze them separately.

In the previous section, we discussed how a new element has joined the story: Ruka and Natsume's growing tensions and jealousy over liking the same girl, and the effect it could have on their friendship. This is done a little differently in the anime, and in this part, I'll discuss the ramifications for Natsume's feelings and the consequences it has on his friendship with Ruka as well as the approval of Persona. There is also an equally important aspect of Mikan's feelings, frequently neglected in a narrative sense, and how they are growing stronger for Natsume as well.

Episode 20 vs. Chapter 25 & 26

This carries onto episode twenty, the Dance episode. This episode combines two chapters to accommodate length. In general, the anime doesn’t really explore what it means for Natsume to be a principal student, like sitting on stage with the other principals. There’s a lot unsaid here that is more important in the manga.

Even more, the last episode tied up some loose ends, or at least attempted to, in regards to the tension of the musical. In the manga, those tensions are still an open wound that nobody in the love triangle wants to touch. The anime still has some of them, but to a much lesser extent. They’ve made up and had fun between then and now.

And Mikan is completely uninterested in the Last Dance, seemingly, but spends a lot of time wondering about why others care about it, almost as if she wants to care so she can fit in. Anna and Nonoko have their crushes, the fan club girls are as obsessed with Natsume and Ruka as ever, and even Hotaru has a horde of admirers, even if she’s uninterested in them. Mikan feels left out, just like she always does, just for the sake of being different.

(One of my favorite tropes is when Person A is talking about their love life or lack thereof and the next person that shows up next just so happens to be their soulmate.)

The tensions between Natsume, Ruka, and Mikan are focus in the manga. In the anime, they’re watered down. Mikan is interested in dancing with both of them, unlike in the manga, where she desperately wants to avoid them. Mikan is more oblivious in the anime than in the manga, as a result. Manga!Mikan can feel the tension, and knows things are different now, because they’re weird! She’s a very intuitive and emotional girl and she can sense shifts and changes better than anyone. In the anime, she’s not as uncomfortable; she just wants to have a good time with her friends.

Interestingly, even though it was Ruka he pushed, it’s Mikan who’s watching him leave in the frame…

Just like in the manga, Natsume literally pushes Ruka into dancing with Mikan and they have a lot of fun dancing together before Mikan starts dancing with others. Hotaru’s “blessing” (or whatever that scene is) is a lot more obvious in the anime, with her actually requesting a “Mikan cake”, and neglecting some of the demanding, blackmailing atmosphere of the chapter. In the anime, Mikan actually seeks out Natsume and asks him to dance. In the manga, she is upset with him, but in the anime Mikan doesn’t hold grudges. She’s not tense at all and is willing to be the one to break the coldness between them. He naturally responds in the negative and insults her and they fight again, culminating in the infamous “Mikan” and “don’t care about what I call you anymore; that’s my last wish.”

Natsume: *says 2 syllables* // Mikan: *falls in love with him*

Even the anime has to concede that Natsume won with that one, lol.

Anyway, the anime also includes Ruka meeting up with Natsume and them fighting over who’d get Mikan (“You can have her, bro.” “No, bro, she likes you.” “No, bro--”), even though it’s not their decision. Even if they somehow decided Ruka would win, or Natsume would win, it’s ultimately up to Mikan to figure out who she has feelings for.

And award for best friendship in the history of all media ever goes to--

This is where the tension from the previous episode takes center stage. There’s discord and insecurity here, but not any real malice or resentment. They’re just boys and this is the first girl either of them has ever liked, and it just so happens to be the same girl. They’re best friends and they love each other, but this is a complication neither of them anticipated. Naturally, they don’t know how to communicate it, but they both know how the other feels anyway because they know each other so well they don’t need to be told. They fight that Mikan will pick the other for the Last Dance and then a very cute moment follows when Hotaru reveals she picked Mikan for the Last Dance and both of the boys start laughing. It ends, focusing on Hotaru and Mikan’s friendship and Natsume and Ruka’s friendship. They’re kids after all, and should be focusing on having fun and being children whenever they have the chance. Romance and complicated love triangles can wait. I really like this addition.

Episode 21 vs. Chapter 27

Just like in the manga, Natsume is bad at sticking to his word and he still engages with Mikan in the next episode. He still helps others with studying because of her example, and goes along with the whole class in study mode, even if he is half-assing the actual exams.

Mikan and Sumire have a plot element added, to supplement their new friendship from the Reo Arc. Sumire can’t cook and has given up on exams. Even though Mikan desperately wants the honor student award so she can see her grandpa, she sacrifices her study time to spend the whole night helping Sumire with cooking, even though she herself isn’t so talented either. This further helps showcase that Mikan is helpful, and that she is willing to sacrifice what she wants so that other people can have happiness too. Just like she was willing to leave the school she fought so hard to keep open so she can see her best friend in the first episode, she’s willing to wait a little more to see Jii-chan if it means she can help Sumire.

“Nice girlfriend you have there. Sure would be a shame if something happened to her.”

However, despite all the sweetness of Mikan’s plot, someone is watching Natsume interact with the group and more specifically with Mikan (though in the anime, it’s Persona, not the ESP), and Natsume gets warned by Persona to stay away from Mikan.

Episode 22 & Chapter 28

He does just that in the next episode, staying away from and (as a result) bothering Mikan.

We are introduced to Kaname, Tsubasa’s sickly friend who has the life-shortening alice. He uses his alice anyway, because he likes making people happy, even if it comes at a cost. After all, he grew up lonely until he made Bear, so he wants others to not feel lonely.

But Kaname isn’t the only one with the life-shortening alice. Mikan is so distressed about her revelations that she acts out a little during her chores, hitting Natsume with her duster. He simply walks away, doing as he is told to keep her safe, because that dream he had in the Reo Arc is still relevant and because Persona’s warnings are fresh in his mind. Hanging out with her is bad for both of them. Mikan doesn’t know any of this, but thoughts about poisonous alices are all she can think about, and as he walks away from her, it occurs to her that he might be suffering just like Kaname. But whereas Kaname chooses to use his alice to make others happy, Natsume has no such choice. He is forced to use it, and his life is much shorter as a result.

Sadly, once Mikan starts really liking Natsume, he's always walking away from her.

In the manga, we do get a glance of Natsume’s suffering and reliance on pain meds to get through the night, but it’s a bit different in the anime. We see him lying on his bed, struggling with the pain. But why night? The truth is that Natsume feels like that almost all the time. It’s only when he’s alone in his room that he can be honest and really let himself feel it. He doesn’t have to hide it for someone else’s sake, or to give off the impression that he is totally fine.

Summary

In this section, we discussed the consequences for Natsume's growing feelings for Mikan, and the added complication that Ruka likes her too, as well as the fact that Mikan is starting to develop feelings for Natsume as well. His illness and status as child soldier are sadly all too present, and Natsume is paralleled with Kaname in Episode 22 and then is paralleled with the mistreated lion in the circus arc, which is what I'll be discussing next, in the final part of the anime analysis.

<- Previous Part Next Part ->

[veenussposts]

Mingi as a demigod (and your boyfriend)

Mingi was always a lazy person who found it difficult to be punctual and maintain an orderly lifestyle. However, he always did things well even if he had no idea what he was doing.

And things didn't change when he arrived at Camp Half-Blood, after trying to be killed by a minotaur as he walked back home.

After being claimed by his father, the God of war, Mingi continued with his same attitude as always and, unintentionally, quickly climbed into the hierarchy of his cabin. He was just good at fighting, he was honestly the best, even though he never had any training in the art of war.

He only had fun with Apollo's sons and daughters and yet no one was able to beat him in a battle. The laurel crown was his over a year ago and no one could take it away from him.

But everything changed when you arrived.

"Who is he?" Mingi asked one of his sisters who was observing all the commotion that was forming in the camp due to the arrival of a squad commanded by you.

"He is a roman demigod, one of the leaders of Camp Jupiter, the only child of Bellona the goddess of war, destruction and devastation"

"Uff, it's a very long and intimidating name for a boy. I bet he's not that good"

With determined and somewhat haughty steps, Mingi came towards you with his chin up to ask you to a duel. The warriors under your command looked at each others scared when they heard Mingi challenging you. What did you do? You laughed at him and then completely ignored him.

Or at least that's what Mingi believed because even though it didn't seem like it, you really paid attention to him. At a glance you realized that, after being rejected, that son of Ares made vibrate some swords while walking back to his cabin.

You had a slight suspicion of why that happened but there was only one way to check it.

It was a normal day after a chat with the director of the Greek camp, you were on the banks of the great lake meditating when you felt a familiar sensation in your stomach. Someone was watching you. With a single movement, you unsheathed your sword and threw it towards where your instincts told you.

"If this were a real fight you would already be dead" Your sword was pointed at his forehead as it floated in midair. With a single wave of your hand, your sword turned towards you and came back to its place.

"What... Ho-how did you do that? You... how did you manage to stop it before... and..."

"I didn't stop it, you did" Mingi's eyes widened, looking at you in surprise. "The weapons obey you, they will do whatever you tell them to do. You can even fight with them even if you don't have them in your hands"

"But my brothers cannot do that"

"That is because only a few are blessed with the gifts of their parents. Some children of Apollo can heal, others cannot. They are gifts that have to be used and I am willing to help you, son of Ares, even if it goes against my principles as a descendant of a Roman Goddess "

And that was how Mingi, dumbfounded by the way your tan skin shone in the sun's rays, agreed to train with you.

Things were going well, too well. Mingi was more powerful than you imagined and could follow your strict training without problems.

As the days passed, your stomach felt strange sensations and it wasn't your sixth sense. It was something else.

"Am I in love with a Greek demigod? Oh my Jupiter"

On the other hand, Mingi was totally in love with you. Every cell in his body went into ecstasy every morning when he saw you, he seemed to be flying through the clouds every time he saw you smile and the mere fact of listening to your compliments when he did something right blushed his cheeks.

"He is very cute"

"I think you are the only person in the world who thinks that he is cute. Brother, every time I look at him I feel like a deer being analyzed by its predator. He's scary"

"Yeah, that's one of his many charms. Ahh, he's magnificent"

Your swords collided, they withdrew and returned to find ways to outdo each other and catch up with their opponent. A slight whistle accompanied the movement of both, indicating the speed of your movements and your location.

"I'm sorry to inform you that this fight will be won by me" Mingi said as his eyes closely followed you.

"Don't sing victory yet, redhead"

Your swords collided again and both of you continued to dance across the training ground in a fight that never seemed likely to end because neither was ready to lose.

You, who at the time were leading the initiative, attacked while Mingi defended himself. He leaped back, accurately moved his hand, and one of his two swords, which he had previously lost in a counterattack against you, shot out at top speed. You barely had enough time to turn around and dodge the attack, consequently your opponent's weapon cut a piece of your purple cloak that was part of your armor.

"Well if this was a real fight you would already be dead" The cold metal of his weapon was leaning against your neck while a silly little smile was drawn on his lips as you stood up slowly. "Can I sing victory now?"

"I don't think so" The smile on his face faded when he saw out of the corner of his eye your great sword, pointed at him in midair. "I think you are dead"

"Yeah, but dead of love for you"

Your eyes widened like saucers and Mingi's hand that didn't hold the sword opened, letting it drop to the ground. His cheeks started to turn deep red like his hair as he tried to look anywhere but you.

Hell, he had screwed up. Surely you were going to reject him, surely you would laugh at...

"In that case... I guess I'm dead too" Before Mingi could understand your answer, your strong arms were around his waist, drawing him towards you. You were so close that you could smell the sweet scent of his cologne, your noses were rubbing against each other and your lips were only a few millimeters apart. "I... I also like you, too much for my liking but I couldn't help it"

Mingi leaned his head forward and kissed you, softly at first, and then with immense passion causing you to cling to him as if there was no tomorrow. His lips were caressing your trembling lips, sending shocks of electricity along your back, causing emotions that you had never thought you were capable of feeling.

Mingi almost went crazy when you confessed with a blush on your cheeks that he was your first boyfriend. For that reason, you weren't quite sure how to act in certain situations.

Despite being stoic, strict and not very good with words, Mingi knew that you loved him because your actions showed it. For example: the time you were training and it started to rain, without thinking twice you took off your cape to cover Mingi so he wouldn't catch a cold.

HE LOVES PLAYING WITH YOUR LONG HAIR. He could be brushing, stroking, or just playing with it all day.

"Just relax, I'll wash your hair for you"

He is capable of sending a sword flying to anyone who dares to speak ill of you.

"I'd fight the whole world for you and I don't care how cheesy that sounds"

Mingi says and does things on purpose to embarrass you for his own amusement such as calling you by cute nicknames in front of your legion or dancing while he was wearing your golden armor.

You haven't tell the others about your relationship but all the demigods in both camps know that your are a couple.

Gets giggle because of your existence and blushes when you kiss him.

The biggest cuddle bear ever.

When you had to leave Camp Half-Blood to return to Camp Jupiter Mingi did his best to keep you from leaving but, unfortunately, it was your duty and you had to leave. The first night without you he cried because he missed you.

Now, Mingi is only in Camp Half-Blood the summers, the rest of the days he lives in Camp Jupiter with you.

He sleeps on your chest because he says your skin is very soft and warm, he feels calm and protected in your arms.

"You're ridiculously comfortable"

His cellphone password is the date of your birthday and as a wallpaper he has a photo of you smiling after the daughters of Venus combed your hair in a large braid decorated with flowers.

Every summer at Camp Half-Blood, Mingi tells the new demigods how magnificent his boyfriend is, telling them that he is the most powerful person ever born, that perhaps you were the reincarnation of a hero like Hercules. Sometimes just to bother you, he tells you to go to the camp to sign autographs because everyone admires you but not as much as he does.

Worries about your safety 24/7.

"Zeus, I was very worried"

"It was just a reconnaissance mission, baby. There's nothing to worry about"

You never fight, you have a healthy and prosperous relationship, but sometimes when you have had a stressful day you ignore each other unintentionally.

In conclusion, just being with Mingi makes you happy. That redhead, son of Ares, has completely changed your life in a wonderful, magnificent and extraordinary way.

[locktobre]

I’ve mentioned before that the mermaid transformation seems to be far more than just swapping out legs for a tail, but today I want to try to do a deep dive (no pun intended) into what such a transformation might actually mean. This is mostly just questions I ask myself and I’m trying to find answers for, since I don’t have nearly as many answers as I would like at this point. But I like making these speculation posts, so here we go.

The first question I have is actually about being a half-mermaid. The information that Hadley looks up says that mermaids come of age “around” 16, so... does that mean it’s not an exact birthday thing? Granted, this is a human website that may not be 100% correct by any means (as Fallon points out), but given that the movie never contradicts any of this information, I assume it’s more or less accurate. It’s never mentioned that it’s Merliah’s birthday, not even in the second movie--it’s Merliah’s anniversary, not birthday. So I have to wonder, if it’s not a Magical 16th Birthday thing, what exactly would trigger such a change in her? My going assumption is that it’s actually the first time she touches the ocean after her 16th birthday that does it. We at least know that her hair getting wet made the pink streaks appear, so that’s probably what it is. I’m not sure how long after her birthday this would be, or even if it’s logical for her to have not touched the ocean since her birthday (given that she’s both a surfer and actually lives on the beach), but it’s what I have.

The second question is what does Zuma mean when she says that Merliah’s mermaid half has “resurfaced”? At what point did it... leave? Merliah didn’t have pink hair as a baby, so is she talking about the waterbreathing? Merliah came up from under the water with Calissa as a baby, so apparently, she could breathe water as a baby--which makes sense biologically for a hybrid, otherwise she could have drowned when she was born. But then Merliah rediscovers this ability, obviously, but I have to wonder... did she ever really lose it? Kids are taught to hold their breath underwater as children, and Break would have no reason to teach Merliah otherwise... So I wonder a lot about whether it is an ability that actually faded, or if it’s something she just didn’t know she could do. And why would that ability fade? Would it have faded if she had stayed in the water and hadn’t moved to land? Do babies just not have enough magic to sustain it? And if that is not what Zuma meant... what other physiological changes happened to Merliah?

The third question is actually the main point of this post: What, exactly happens when one is transformed from a human to a mermaid (and vice versa)? Like, physiologically, biologically, what all changes? It makes sense that more than just the legs/tail would change, bc... There’s a lot going on there. There are leg bones and muscles and veins, the pelvis and genitals, the skin and scales... and that’s just what we can logically assume. We have no idea what mermaids look like inside, if they have different organs, if they’re at all similar to us anatomically. They’re apparently biologically compatible, given that Merliah exists, but that doesn’t say anything about their actual anatomy. So when everything on the outside changes--the hair, the skin, the legs/tail--I wonder a lot about what, exactly, is going on inside. It certainly seems like an entire bodyswap between species, unlike say a fairy that just... has wings on their back. (Altho the point about their internal anatomy possibly being radically different still stands. But that’s another post.)

The fourth question is whether, given all of the implications that, if it would be ill-advised to transform before the 16th birthday. Does the age actually have meaning, or is it just tradition? For humans at least, 16 is an age where a person might have hit their full adult height--not always, late growth spurts can happen--but it’s a possibility. Does a person need to be their full adult height? Does it matter? Are the two forms they have linked, and are they ‘updated’ between transformations? If a child switches back and forth, will it affect their growth (in either form) at all? The transformation certainly doesn’t seem dangerous (this is Barbie, after all), but looking at it critically really lends itself to it not being something to take super lightly. Obviously, this doesn’t mean much for Merliah, but I have mermaid and mermaid hybrid ocs to think about.

And speaking of, the fifth question I have is about pregnancy. If one is pregnant... can they transform back and forth? Should they? Is there any kind of mechanism in the magic to prevent such a change, if it would be dangerous? With the anatomical differences that may be present, and it being essentially a brain swap between two bodies... I have to wonder what would happen. I imagine it would be difficult to test in-universe, unless the person in question didn’t want to be pregnant anyway, so it didn’t matter to them. Since the transformation is powered by the magic in the talisman, if it did have a failsafe of any kind... taking it off would probably do the trick. But if it didn’t, that would also be interesting. No way to really know for sure, tho, at least in canon. (Personally, I��m deciding that yes, talismans do have a failsafe, and that taking it off will revert you to your original form no matter what, bc that makes the most sense to me.)

The sixth question is whether mermaid transformation talisman must be a necklace. I have to imagine it doesn’t matter, as much it being something that the person can wear between forms. I don’t think there’s any inherent power in a necklace as opposed to, say, a ring or a bracelet. Like, an anklet probably wouldn’t work, just bc... in one of the forms, there would be no ankles... but some mermaids do appear to wear tail jewelry, so... maybe it would? Whether it has to be jewelry at all is also something I wonder. Like, could it be a shirt? Does the material matter at all, or is it simply about wearability? I like it being jewelry, if only for the hashtag aesthetic, but I have to wonder what limitations--if any--there are on the magic, and whether anyone has decided to test out different things before, bc I certainly want to know.

The seventh and final question goes back to my second, but I wonder a lot whether a mermaid turned human retains their waterbreathing. We know that Merliah can breathe water in human form, obviously, but is this a hybrid exclusive trait? If, say, Calissa turned human... Could she? Why or why not? I’m inclined to say that she still could, only bc I think of waterbreathing as the easiest and simplest part of the mermaid transformation, bc in Fairytopia they have plants that can grant you the ability, no talisman required. (Altho how long the effects of those plants last is also something I’m highly interested in, but that’s another post.) But it would also make sense if she couldn’t, if the transformation truly alters you physically as much as I think it might--but again, no way to know for sure, I kind of just have to decide on an answer one way or the other, bc either could be right.

Anyway, I kind of talked myself in circles, but there’s always a lot to unpack about these things. This isn’t even everything I’ve got but I’m tired so I’m just gonna call it here lol. The point is, I’ve given these mermaids a lot of thought and I still don’t have solid answers, and in a way that’s great! The barbieverse is something that feels like it keeps on giving, even without new content, bc there’s just a lot to go back and analyze in the past movies. I hope I never stop having fun with it (even if I will sometimes also stress about not have an answer for everything).

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

Some ECW Raven hurt/comfort headcanons would be really rad if you don't mind writing them? 😳👉👈

Time for full disclosure here, nonnie mouse. I ABSOLUTELY fucking ADORE you for this. I love,love,love,love Raven. And I don’t think I can say it enough. I gotta admit, i was not expecting anyone to indulge me on my desire to write hc’s for wrestlers like Raven or edge or Jeff or anyone like that.. SO I AM WEEPING FOR JOY RN. These are all over the place. I tried to focus on strictly hurt comfort.. But some others snuck their way in too.

Warnings: none. We’re keeping it PG in this christian household on this Tuesday. Or we’re gonna die trying.

Tag Squad:

@kyleoreillysknee

@rampagewriting

@writertoo18

@thatnerdwriter

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@waywardwrestlewritingwaif

@cabotcoves

@unabashedwrestlefics

@adampage

@cowboyshit

@missjenniferb

@wrestlingthot

@wardl0w

[ tag list doc - masterlist - send me more. these are fun. but read this first.]

┎ Raven is a soft hearted guy, despite all outward appearances and claims to the otherwise. Also very empathetic. I firmly believe he’d sense a change in your mood the second it occurred. And he’d go into deep thought mode. First he’d analyze himself to make sure he hadn’t done anything to cause the hurt. Then he’d start to extend the web of deep thought outward. To others. God help any person who may be responsible, RIP. 

--for reference, see his Clockwork Orange matches. While not brutal, they do illustrate that the man knows his way around weapons and toys and... He will become sadistic enough over those he allows close to him to put his brutal knowledge in the ways of fucking rocking someone’s entire shit to use. So if anyone hurts you? They’re about to wish they died.

-- if he is the one responsible, he immediately owns up to his actions. Because he’s not afraid to admit when he’s being a stubborn, bull headed jackass. Because honestly? It’s often. And he takes extra care of you preceding his apology. He goes above and beyond to do his utmost best NOT to do whatever it was that he did to hurt you, again.

┎ If it’s an internal thing, he’ll just kind of pull you close, rest his chin on the top of your head while his fingers smooth over your hair. “Deep breaths. Eyes on me, sweetheart. C’mon, talk to Raven. I’m right here. I got you.” is repeated over and over in the softest gravel rasp like a mantra until you’re calm and you can relay the cause of the issue. After you’ve told him what’s going on, he will hold you more. Or pull you down onto his lap while he’s sitting on the stair. “What am I doin’ to fix this?” he looks at you, an earnest look in his eyes because he honest to god is determined to fix whatever’s wrong. 

┎  The man is your biggest supporter. And he is your personal bodyguard. You literally go NOWHERE without Raven present... Even if he’s scowling a little because he utterly hates crowded malls or theaters, etc. If you’re there, he’s going to be there too. Because it’s something you’re into, and he’s into you. 

┎ Is not a good patient at all when he’s the one who is ill. Gets downright testy and hates medicine. Especially that licorice flavored cough syrup shit. BUT BUT.. If you’re the one whose sick? Man is quick to call the nearest doctor and get detailed instructions... He’s written down ALL your symptoms and he checks your temperature religiously and has those at the ready, as well as his own googled diagnosis... While keeping a bit of a distance, of course. If you’re throwing up, he’s there with a cool damp cloth against the back of your neck. If you want cuddles, he will provide, however, it’s kind of those ginger careful cuddles. Like “Ayooo, I love you a lot but I’m not out here tryna get this shit too.”

┎ Sends clever little riddles in meme form when he knows you’re having a bad day. The downside to this is the man is a literal genius IRL, so.. Sometimes, that cute little joke takes 4 goddamn hours to hit you and make you laugh. But you love him for it.

┎ Once felt so bad that he forgot an anniversary that he made up for it in clutch by booking an entire week in a cabin, just the two of you. He bought you your favorite flowers every single day too. And he did all the cooking. TBF.. he does about 75 percent of it anyway? Because his love language is taking care of the people he loves as opposed to the words...