#does anyone care about oh mary gifs? i hope you guys care about oh mary gifs

[ashleyslorens]

OH, MARY! Lucille Lortel Theatre, 2024

[omgrachwrites]

The Princess and The Duke - Chapter Six

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: As the   Princess of  Spain, you were always supposed to marry King James of   England to make  an alliance between Spain and England. When he marries a  woman at his  court for love, you are married off to his best friend, Sirius Black the  Duke of Bedford to keep the alliance. However, the   court is riddled  with secrets and a rebel in the North starts to rise   against the Throne.  Royal AU.

Warnings: fluff, fluff and more fluff! Mentions of sex, little bit of angst

Words: 2458

Disclaimer: This gif does not belong to me and I’m so sorry if this Spanish is wrong!

Translation: espero vivir para ver tu hermoso rostro una vez mas - I hope to live to see your beautiful face once more.

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this part, please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

Chapter Six - Onwards to England

The first day of summer heralded with a clear blue sky and an almost sweltering heat, it arrived a couple of days before Sirius and his wife had to leave for England. Sirius wanted to make the most of the hot summer’s day before it was too late. The weather in England was temperamental, though it was now summer, the weather in England couldn’t always be guaranteed. That was why he was taking some time away from his work to spend time with Y/N.

Sirius grinned as he put the finishing touches together before he left the garden in search of Y/N. He found her in the grand ballroom speaking with some of the staff about the ball they were throwing on the night before they left for England. When Y/N spotted him she bid goodbye to the servants and wandered up to him with a bright smile on her face.

“Good afternoon,” she cupped his neck and greeted him with a sweet kiss, “I haven’t seen you much today, what have you been doing?”

“Well,” Sirius started, pulling his beautiful wife close, “if you come with me, I’ll show you,” he grinned as he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Y/N laughed as she raised an eyebrow, “I’ll go with you, only if it won’t sacrifice my honour,” she teased as she took his arm and they walked from the ballroom.

Sirius smirked as he held in a snorting laugh, “oh Princess, your honour was sacrificed on our wedding night, over and over again.”

“Sirius,” Y/N gasped and giggled as she slapped his arm lightly, a flush forming on her cheeks. Sirius chuckled and kissed her perfumed cheek.

Sirius led her over the beautiful sun kissed grounds, through the water gardens and through the small thicket of trees that were on the edge of his estate. Y/N gave him a quizzical look as he got an old rusty key out of his pocket, lifted the curtain of ivy and unlocked the heavy door.

Y/N gasped as she ventured inside and gazed at the garden and the flowers that were growing all around her, “I didn’t even know that this was here, it’s so beautiful.”

Sirius smiled and wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his head on her shoulder, “I didn’t find it until a couple of years ago, I found the key in one of the cabinets in the chateau. I tend to it but I’ve never brought anyone else here,” he chuckled, suddenly feeling nervous.

Y/N let out a little laugh as she turned to face him and he saw the tears that were sparkling in her eyes, “I love it Sirius, thank you for bringing me here,” Sirius smiled as he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips.

“Come on,” he led her down the stone steps and through the flowers that grew around their feet to the spot beneath the tree where he’d set up the picnic, “I wanted us to make the most of the remaining time we have left here. I made sure to get all of your favourite things together.

Y/N smiled, “you are simply the best husband in the world,” she giggled as she popped one of the ripe strawberries into her mouth as Sirius uncorked the wine.

There weren’t many things that were sweeter than ripe strawberries and summer wine but Y/N’s lips were definitely one of them. Their stomachs were full and they had resorted to kissing in the shade of the tree. When Sirius’ hand dipped beneath Y/N’s skirts she giggled against his lips and placed a hand on his chest, pushing him away gently.

“Where did you find all the time to do this? What about your work for the King?”

Sirius sighed, biting his lip, he wasn’t sure how Y/N would take the news, “I’ve got it all sorted, Regulus is going to Cumbria as a spy. He offered.”

“What?” Y/N sighed, sitting up, “why didn’t you tell me? I’ve sent some of Spain’s best men to investigate the threat,” she narrowed her eyes.

“Look Y/N, if it is rebels then Regulus will be in a much better position to deal with them. Our family were awful; they would have done anything to overthrow the Potters. James and I were tutored together as children and we became best friends. I hated my parents and their ideals. James’ parents took me in as their second son. If it is rebels in Cumbria then they’ll think that Regulus is one of them. He’ll be taking passage to England with us before he rides to Cumbria.”

Y/N sighed as she fiddled with her fingers, “it seems like you’ve got it all figured out, I just wish that you had both spoken to me about it,” she looked so hurt, “we were supposed to be in this together.”

Sirius nodded as he cupped her cheeks, pressing a kiss to her mouth, “we are in this together, I’m sorry Y/N.”

Y/N smiled as she combed her fingers through his hair, “I forgive you, it’s hard not to with that pretty face,” she giggled, tracing his lips with her thumb, “I want another try at making a baby, we may have made one already but if we haven’t then I want another try.”

In that moment where she was lying against the tree she had never looked more beautiful and he had never wanted her more. He was glad that his new wife liked to be intimate with him, “as my Princess wishes,” he hesitated, looking down at her. He wanted to tell her, he needed to tell her, even if she didn’t feel the same, “I love you Y/N.”

Y/N smiled as she gazed up at him, tears sparkling in her eyes again, “I love you too Sirius, truly,” she beamed, leaning up to kiss him.

After their picnic – and their love making – they came across Remus in the corridor and he was looking unusually grim. Before Sirius could ask him about it, he had blurted it all out, “Do you remember that Lord who wanted me to meet his daughter, Mary? Well, I’ve invited him to the ball,” he took a deep breath, “you’re right; sometimes we have to do our duty to the King. Sometimes we have to choose duty over love.”

Sirius was rendered silent. What was Remus doing? Why was he giving up everything?

“What about Sophia? Have you thought about her, My Lord?” Remus just gulped before shaking his head and striding down the corridor without another word.

Y/N heaved a huge sigh as she gave Sirius a worried look, biting her lip, “Sophia will be heartbroken.”

Sirius nodded as he clenched his jaw, “I know my love, I’ll try and talk to him.”

The ball quickly came around the following evening and Y/N looked beautifully ethereal in a dress of golden satin and a crown of bronze leaves in her hair. She looked stunning and it seemed that many of the guests thought so too. Many Lords and noblemen were vying for her attention and Sirius felt an itch of jealousy as he watched stranger’s eyes roam over his wife. Though as soon as Y/N kissed him passionately in the middle of the ballroom his jealousy melted away and all he could focus on was Y/N.

The ball was going splendidly so far, there had been no drunken brawls to speak of and it seemed that everyone was getting along fine; Sirius didn’t want a fight to break out in his home. However, Y/N had been right, Sophia seemed completely heartbroken; she ended up spending most of her time outside in the balmy summer air beneath the setting sun. When she came inside in short intervals to get another drink her eyes were red and bloodshot. It was painfully obvious that she’d been crying her eyes out and she ended up retiring from the party early. What was worse was the fact that Remus had refused to look her way all evening. The Lady Mary was charming and beautiful but it was clear that Remus’ heart just wasn’t in the right place.

Sirius smiled as he danced with his wife while she gazed up at the beautiful artwork of the angels that had been painted on the ceiling, “are you looking forward to going to England Y/N?”

Y/N tore her eyes away from the ceiling and smiled at him beautifully, “well, it will certainly be an adventure,” she grimaced, “onward to England I say.”

Sirius pulled her close, “I’ll be right by your side, I promise, I’m not going to leave you Y/N.”

Y/N beamed at him as she nudged her nose against his and she kissed him long and deep, “I love you Sirius.”

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The voyage to England was just as rough and unpleasant as you remembered from when you travelled from Spain. You spent most of the trip with your head in a bucket as Sirius stroked your hair. When you weren’t ill you were reading stories such as the Arthurian legends and tales of pirates and mermaids that dwelled in unknown corners of the world.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the ship docked in Portsmouth and England welcomed you with a blue sky and just the hint of a sea breeze. You smiled as you watched the sun shine on the surface of the sea, making it shimmer like diamonds. It was a beautiful sight to see.

When Regulus parted ways with you to leave for Cumbria you hugged your brother in law, “good luck Regulus and be careful.”

He smiled as he kissed your hand, “espero vivir para ver tu hermoso rostro una vez mas.”

Sirius scoffed at his brother’s words and you fought back a giggle, you were especially glad that Sirius couldn’t understand Regulus; otherwise you doubted that Regulus would be leaving here alive. As you rode through the pretty English countryside you gazed over the rolling hills, spying little chapels and cottages that were nestled among the trees. Sirius told you tales of his childhood with James, how they stole the piping hot bread from the kitchens and they tried to smuggle a peacock out of the menagerie.

You giggled and looked over at Sophia, she was smiling but you could see the sadness in her eyes and you couldn’t blame her, it seemed like Remus would be getting married before the year was out, “it’ll be alright Sophia,” you promised.

“Thank you, Your Highness,” she sniffled, “I just wanted him to love me,” you wished that you could take away her pain but words could only do so much.

As you and Sirius were lead into the throne room there were many chatters and murmurs as you and Sirius approached the King and Queen. You ignored the many jealous filled looks that the ladies of the court awarded you. Queen Lily had a hand resting on her stomach and you hoped it was because she was pregnant.

“Duke and Duchess, welcome. Thank you for coming back to court, it’s an honour,” King James began.

You curtseyed while Sirius sank into a low bow, “the honour is all ours, Your Majesty,” Sirius smiled.

“The two of you must be exhausted after your long trip. Why don’t you get settled in your chambers and we’ll have a feast this evening to welcome you,” Queen Lily radiantly smiled at the two of you.

The chambers that you and Sirius were going to be staying in were very comfortable and spacious, there was a grand fireplace in the middle of the room but hopefully you wouldn’t be getting use out of it this summer. There was a portrait of two beautiful little boys hanging over the fireplace and you frowned as you looked at it, wondering who it was. It was then that you recognised those grey smiling eyes.

“Is this you and James?” you smiled at your husband as he flopped down on the huge bed.

“Yes, these were my chambers when I leaved at court, before I moved to my estate in France. I’ve missed these rooms very much.

You smiled as you wandered over to him and sat next to him on the bed, running your fingers through his long hair as he rested his head in your lap. You leaned down and kissed his forehead, “well, you were a very beautiful child,” you giggled as he flushed and kissed your hand, “I want a portrait like that of our children,” you admitted with a smile.

Sirius gasped and sat up, looking at you with wide eyes, “are you saying that you’re pregnant?” there was so much hope in his eyes and you hated to disappoint him but you didn’t know yet, you hoped that you were. Nothing would make you happier than being the mother of his children.

You shrugged as you cupped his cheek, almost wincing as you saw the disappointment in his eyes, “I can’t be sure, we haven’t been intimate long enough for me to tell. But, as soon as I know, you’ll be the first one I tell,” you promised him with a kiss.

Sirius nodded, pulling you into his arms, “and I’ll anxiously be awaiting the day.”

A few weeks later you and Sophia joined Queen Lily and Lady Mary – the woman that Remus seemed to be courting – for breakfast. It was a warm summer’s morning as you sat on the balcony, the day was so clear that you could see the hills that loomed and blanketed the villages. Sophia had been very quiet all morning, it seemed like she had been shocked into silence, because Queen Lily had announced that Lady Mary would be coming to court as one of her ladies. Mary was very charming and kind but you just couldn’t find it in your heart to like her, not when your best friend’s heart had been shattered.

Lily sighed as she popped a raspberry into her mouth, “do you think it makes me less of a woman, the fact that I can’t conceive a child?”

You sighed as you reached across the table and took her hand, “it will happen Your Majesty, I promise.”

Lily smiled at you prettily as she offered around a plate of strawberry tarts, “I know they’re your favourite Y/N.”

You smiled weakly as you took a tart off the plate and took a little bite; you almost grimaced as the sweet flavours filled your mouth. They usually were your favourite, the strawberries were impossibly sweet and the pastry was wonderfully flaky. However, you had lost your liking for them and you thought you knew why. It was something that you could not tell the Queen. Not yet.

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@smiithys​ @elayneblack​ @amelie-black​ @siriuslyjanhvi​ @pregnant-piggy​ @lindatreb​ @mabelle-cherie​ @hxrgreeves​ @britishspidey​ @mads-bri​ @classicrocketqueen​ @sxtansqueen​ @hufflepuffzutara​ @missmulti​ @bruxa0007​ @ourstarsailor​ @fific7​ @galwithbluethoughts​ @2410slb​ @sunles​ @krismeunicornbaobei​

[smolbeandrabbles]

Illicit Affairs - Harold x Reader (Adore)

Cruel Summer / Magnets / The Next Best Australian Record

GIF CREDIT: X

@wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​

 Author’s Note: I know I said I was kinda finished with these two as far as I thought safe to take them.  Oh, but this song I haaaaaaad to...

So here’s another one on the list of ‘how long does it take you to write a fic’. I decided I was writing this on 8th October (when I wrote my plot notes. at like 11pm) then I wrote and finished it on 10th/11th.  Whereas sooooome stuff gets stuck in my drafts for like 6 months. And honestly I really don’t know how I do it. There’s a fic on my side blog that I turned around in 24 hours, which is another thing entirely but I am the most inconsistent writer! 😅🙈😬 I don’t know how you all put up with it, to be honest, but I’m glad you’re all here!

Ah shit we being and ‘end’ with Taylor again?! Ah well, can’t be helped!

Disclaimer: Adore/Adoration not mine / gif not mine / lyrics not mine

Premise: With Harold now divorced things get a little easier for a while, but you shouldn’t expect things to remain so un-convoluted for long, especially when you receive an invite to Tom’s wedding...

Words: 6418

Warnings: Sexual connotations / Sexual Pre-Amble / Swearing

_______ Make sure nobody sees you leave Keep your eyes down Tell your friends you're out for a run You'll be flushed when you return Take the road less traveled by Tell yourself you can always stop

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies, and it dies, and it dies A million little times

Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times ---

Life all seemed a little easier after his divorce. You still had to be careful, that much was certain, but it didn’t feel like a full affair. The only attachment either of you had was each other. For you it felt like a weight was lifted - a worry. If you only had to worry about what your friends and the University would think if they found out, all that really mattered was being careful on campus. Surprisingly easy; longing glances in class could have meant anything (didn’t they all already know you had a massive crush?), but that ‘catch you later’ smile on his face was the best new thing. Not every night, but a few of them you would spend back at his place. It felt like a real relationship now, you’d found something meaningful. Now you could spend time with him off campus, you seemed to get even more careful on it. It wasn’t the only place you could touch him, hold him, kiss him anymore. You’d been concerned about him leaving you. The age gap in itself would give him more than enough reasons. But he didn’t; Harold stayed. And eventually it wasn’t just belief that he wouldn’t leave you, you knew he wouldn’t. So another year at university ended, and this summer was the first you’d spent between Sydney and home. Obviously, Harold wasn’t going to be coming back. And far be it from your parents to stop you from going back to see your friends. They were just glad to see you happy, and having your own adventures. And you did get to have adventures, even if you never left his house. Summer bled into another year of university, important as your final one, strange in every social context you could possibly think of. Unusually tough to balance – and it made you only too glad to immerse yourself in your class work rather than your relationship. One of the blessings of Harold being that much older than you and having been there before (and heck as if he didn’t know about stressed and struggling university students), was that he understood and let you get on with what you thought was important. You still saw him, just not as often, and it affected nothing between you. Tom wanted to see more of his father, again that was understandable to you, but it was weird to see him kicking around Sydney and occasionally in your classes. On the instances you did bump into each other – and none of them very compromising, that you made sure of – you were civil. But there was never anything more to it than that, until Mary. Your first thought should obviously have been ‘I guess his girl back home didn’t work out’. Instead it was more about things becoming even more convoluted. Harold had come to you with the great idea that, as a final year and preparing to take that leap into the world of acting, you could mentor the lower years on your experience. Your mentee met your ex-boyfriend, and the next thing you knew they were dating. Harold thought it was hilarious, you weren’t so sure – but were at least prepared to see the ironically funny side. You certainly neglected to mention it any time you talked with her though. You weren’t sure you could get through a conversation without ‘Oh yeah and by the way he’s a cheater…’ Highly inappropriate! As you did start to consider your future seriously, the path you found yourself on came from an unexpected place. A new friend – a guy in class who you knew of, but had never really worked with. Stuck together for one of your many final projects, this wasn’t just about developing a few scenes – but a whole two-person stage play. It was like a light bulb moment, how well your energy and creative process and thinking matched. On the same page from the first moment, you weren’t sure which one of you had suggested doing this past your final year, but it seemed like the most logical thing in the world. As expected, Harold was nothing but supportive. Even joking that you’d get your work finished and produced before any of his. Before you hushed him with kisses and let him know how much you believed in him. Adding to your mad year, Harold also moved house – still beach front, modern and pretty. But it maintained a nice rustic aesthetic. Polished wood and steel. He whisked you up to see it before he’d even bought it – because apparently you got a say in things like this now. ‘Why? You’re the one living here.’ ‘I want you to still want to visit me.’ ‘I’d visit you if you were in a 1 bedroom flat with peeling paint and a leaky kitchen sink, you know that.’ ‘Yeah but, maybe it won’t always just be my house.’ You hoped he didn’t expect to be met with anything but joyful screaming at that. The very last thing – as if everything else wasn’t enough - was the final year production. Gruelling auditions were worth it once you got the main part, opposite your future business partner. It was nice, it was going to give you a taste of the future, a trial run. Harold unfortunately was in charge of the second years instead, but he brought Tom over to help manage it – no prizes for how he met Mary. Still, you went along to watch and support. Wondering how exactly you could make him a piece of the puzzle… proud of him and his vision. It made you nothing but excited for that original work of his to be complete – it would be nothing but an honour for you to star in it. Yet it also meant that he didn’t get to see yours until it debuted, and somehow having him on the front row provided you with a confidence boost. And that little wink he gave you as you took your bows gave you all the hints you needed about where your night was going… You wouldn’t lie to yourself anymore, Harold was everything you had always wanted. *** You gave it almost exactly a year after you had finished studying before you ‘came clean’ to your friends. Oh, you were never going to tell them the full details, and you certainly weren’t about to tell your parents everything: just that you were with someone, and you were happy… really happy. In your opinion that was all that should have mattered to them. Your friends were all incredibly shocked at first, but then supportive, and they instantly brought back some of their old favourite jokes ‘Holy shit! Good marks eventually DID get you in his pants after all!’ The truth was not the official line: You had met in a café like total coincidence just to catch up, once… twice… turning into a fair few times… turning into chemistry. Still totally weird, still with that age gap that made everyone (and you meant everyone) caution you, still this ‘he was your teacher once-!?’ that hung around. But not the truth, not that this had been going on so much longer than that. A story that you were both happy with – because no one ever needed to know the full story. And Harold was right about his house; although you had a small apartment across town you hardly stayed there – you spent all your time with him at his. You didn’t want to call it yours, didn’t dare speak the word ours until he did it first. But it always hung there, unspoken… Soon enough your friends grew to love him. How different things were out of the classroom, the conversations and interactions between them. Them all telling you that they finally got it – and then understood why, upon you meeting up again, why you’d hooked up. Which only had you pitying them for not seeing how gorgeous and amazing he was in the first place. There were a lot of shared evenings that happened around his house, where he’d let you invite your friends over but stayed well out of the way. Harold also let you invite them to his birthday though, and after the initial celebrations he and his friends stayed inside, whilst your friends stayed out on the porch. There was a chill in the air, but the fire was still going and you were all huddled together under blankets. As one by one his friends left and you were still sitting out giggling and sipping wine and beer, Harold came out to check you were all okay. Because he cared about them as much as you did. It made you love him even more, if that was at all possible. They probably loved that they could wind you up over this more than anything else, but that was fine for you, you knew it would take time for them to get used to the idea, although the tide was already turning; it was weird but they were also loving it. No one had left, somehow in all this madness you’d kept everything. It all seemed a little too good to be true sometimes, so you made sure to count all your blessings.

 Harold’s play still wasn’t finished; he always said he was almost there, but seemed to be taking an age to edit it all – he’d let you read nearly everything but the conclusion. “Why? Won’t I like it?” “I just want it to be the final-final version before you read that. I guess it’s more… thought provoking than satisfying.” So he kept you guessing. You’d become more of a stage actor than you’d ever expected… perhaps eventually you’d commit yourself to film and TV too. You’d done a few here-and-there episodes but nothing concrete. But it was the dynamic between you and your writing partner – who, if you were honest, was quickly turning out to be your best friend – that kept you in stage work. You’d started a small production company to write and produce these plays and they were pretty successful. But you’d also been included in other, sometimes large scale, productions. And, yes, as ever, Harold was front row for as many of these as he could be. You spent your spare time as you had before, tangled up with him, reading or writing together. With always the promise of: ‘Once I finish I’m casting you in this!’ and any time the school did a production, well… it was your turn to be front row for him.

*** Your joint influence on the people in your lives became more apparent, and also came as a surprise. To you at least. And your question was tentative even if you knew the answer already. “Harry… did you… get an invite to Tom’s wedding?” He pointed up to the fridge upon which was stuck the invite; very pretty, clearly there had been a lot of thought put into this and you would think a lot of effort would be put into such a wedding. You crossed the kitchen to look at it: Plus One, interesting. “Does he know?” “He knows I have somebody but not who, why?” By now he’d caught the piece of card you were holding in your hands, and you held it up. “I didn’t expect to get one myself, but here we are. I mean if I was going to be included at all, maybe I’d be on my parents one, but-” “Oh! Mary’s influence?” “Perhaps. I haven’t told her anything either, but why me? I’m his ex and I’m friends with her… but not very good friends.” “Family friends, maybe that’s it.” “A courtesy invite? I suppose it could be. But it’s not like my parents knew you and Roz that long, I didn’t grow up there like Tom and Ian-” You thought better of it and held that thought. You scored the invite with your nails, “Do you… want me to go?” Harold tilted himself back slightly, folding his arms, “Why? Are you thinking of not going?” “It’s not that, it’s that my parents are going. They’ve already discussed it with me, I’m certainly not ready to out this. And I don’t want you to spend your son’s wedding worrying about that. It’s a big day for him and you!” “Would you go anyway?” “Harry-” “It shouldn’t be about me.” “No, it should only be about you! Yes, I would like to go, but not if it makes more sense for me to stay away.” “Then accept and come.” You blushed gently, “Is that what you want?” “Of course I do. We can play it safe, geez, the last time we were around your family was when this started and was at its most dangerous. It’s not an affair anymore, you’re not my student anymore. If something happens then it happens, but look at you. You’re a star in your own right now, you’re an adult and your life is your life!” “It’s the family friends thing, they will go crazy. Even with the story line we made up, I doubt they’ll speak to me ever again.” “Do they know you’re seeing anyone?” “They’re vaguely aware.” Vaguely was certainly the operative word – more because you certainly expected for talk to get back to them that you had a relationship. You’d never made it sound serious to them, but you told them a little to sate their curiosity. “Well then,” He walked forward, cupping your face, “we’re on the same page and we’ll be fine.” “If you say so.” “I do, don’t you trust me?” You giggled, before leaning forward and grazing your lips to his, “No offense, but that’s a stupid question!” *** You were right, there was a lot of effort put into the wedding. There were less guests for the ceremony, but from what you’d been hearing there’d be quite the after party. As you were on your own invite, you also got the perks of a separate room to your parents. You didn’t hang around the wedding party when you arrived – you weren’t about to turn up here and make yourself a nuance - and it gave you time to relax and prepare yourself for tomorrow. You’d have to try to be on your very best behaviour, no matter what Harold had said, you didn’t want there to be any incidents. Your dress was in a colour that flattered you, covered in little appliques of your favourite flowers, sensible heels in the same colour. The opportunity to do your own make-up and hair; though you kinda missed having backstage stylists… The idea was simply to follow Harold’s lead, considering this was Tom’s wedding. He greeted you with familiarity; his ex-student who he’d seen in many a production since you’d graduated. He even seemed to indicate that you had in fact met up a few times just for general interest catch ups. To which Harold also added ‘maybe I’ll get you in to talk to my students sometime.’ Your parents did ask how exactly it was that you’d leave this detail out. ‘It’s just day to day stuff! You don’t tell me every time you see your friends-!’ Now, ‘friends’ wasn’t a word they questioned. You knew you weren’t going to get to sit next to him, but your family was sitting behind him and that was adequate, he might have only glanced back a couple of times, but they were enough to have you beaming. The ceremony was sweet, smooth sailing; they really did look in love. It gave you pause for thought – was that how you looked at Harold? Still? You’d been together a while now, but then you supposed so had Tom and Mary. Maybe that was just a wedding effect – after all, was there a more romantic day for two people? You also smiled a lot, it was such a lovely occasion to behold, even the atmosphere – like everyone was finally in the place they were meant to be. Which, considering the convoluted way this had all started that fateful summer, was fairly incredible. Harold placed his hand delicately on the small of your back, as you both left the chapel. “Don’t want you to think I don’t think you look beautiful…” You nudged him gently, “If you’ll let me return the compliment.” He chuckled, “No.” “Yes! I mean that’s got to be one of the main reasons I’m here!” His cheeks turned pink and he looked a little bashful, removing his hand from you, far enough away from everyone else to sneakily lace your fingers behind your back instead, “But I mean it.” “Thank you, that’s very sweet… Yet I’m hardly the main spectacle. It’s all stunning and her dress is flawless.” “I don’t disagree, it’s very lovely. We have the rest of the day and the party yet.” “Well alright, I know you’re privy to everything.” You smiled, “I’m just happy you’re involved.” “Hmm. It’s humbling.” “You’re his father!” “He’s spent more time with Roz. Tom didn’t have to ask me.” “Well, I suppose you can’t change my opinion… As long as you know my opinions of you!” “Oh.” He let you go as you approached the drinks reception and winked, “Yes, I would think I did!” The drinks reception and dinner afterwards had exactly the same set of increasingly hilarious conversations. You weren’t always in ear shot of each other, or in the same social circles, but everyone wanted to know about the people you were respectively dating. You were a couple of drinks in, and became much more willing to open up – to the point where you were positively gushing about him. You gave your partner no name, age, or any of the questions they were asking that would be more revealing, but were more than willing to tell the rest of the story. And when you heard him being asked roughly the same questions - and sometimes you were standing together at these points - he was doing exactly the same thing. You were surprised one of you hadn’t broke out in a beaming smile or had glowed in sweet embarrassment yet. And yet it did make you feel so happy that Harold was happy to talk about you in the same way, and every so often you’d catch each other’s eyes and you would smile just like that. There was something about both being in on such a secret; you were happy you’d decided to come and be here – even if you weren’t with him, you were most definitely with him. You didn’t approach Tom and Mary until a little later but they were both so happy to see you. And you congratulated them with about as much enthusiasm. “First up you both look gorgeous! And this wedding is so beautiful… oh my gosh, you guys!” You hugged them both tight. “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both!” “Hey,” Tom nudged you, “What’s this I’ve been hearing about you, though!? Get him married.” “AHaha-” You excused yourself from your laugh, “I mean I dunno I… maybe.” You quickly turned the conversation back on them, “You both look so joyful, and so great together. Enjoy it, alright.” You pointed to Tom, “Extra enjoy it for me, I’ll see where I go.” “Oh, I will!” He grinned, hugging you again. You wondered if he ever had told Mary that you’d dated. You supposed it wasn’t the relationship with him you needed to worry about so much. Mary pulled you back to her, “Thank you, so much!” “Oh, you were always star material…” you squeezed her tight, “But you’re welcome. Maybe we’ll get to be in a production together soon!” “I’ll hold you to that!” She giggled, wishing you well as you let her go. You breathed a sigh of relief as you made your way back to your parents, all’s well that ends well…

 ***

It was a little later, after the first dance, and when everyone was moving around the party freely: everything now in full swing and at least a few of them having already having had too much alcohol, that you realised your assumption was wrong. Some people here weren’t having a good time. You were alright to sit alone and observe for now. You’d known what you were getting into. Ian, best man and from what you’d been told by Harold the one to start this whole ball rolling, was sitting around rather dejectedly. You’d watched him intently for a little while, and he seemed to be getting confrontational with just about everyone – including your man. Now he just appeared to be sulking. So much for us all being more grown up now… Eventually you’d clearly stared at him long enough to have caught his eye, and you offered somewhere between a sympathetic and fed-up smile. Attempting to give an air of ‘yeah man, I know the feeling!’ considering you were also sitting here alone, but his face just scrunched into an even bigger frown as he huffed, crossing his arms before looking away. Okay then, sorry I tried! You weren’t left alone for much longer than that, as Harold wandered over. “Hey, you doing alright over here?” “Yeah, fine.” You waved off Ian, just in case he’d seen any of that brief exchange, “Just taking some quiet time.” “Well, that’s an awful lot of quiet time…” He held his hand out for yours, “Come on, come dance.” Your eyes immediately widened, and you looked from his hand to his face, “With you!?” “No, with someone else – yes, me!” “Harry, I don’t think that we should-” “I want you to enjoy yourself… c’mon.” You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath and praying this wasn’t the worst idea you’d ever had, as you placed your hand in his and he pulled you up.  “Think of it as like… a father daughter dance.” “Oh no, you just made it worse.” His laugh was embarrassed, “Oh, yeah I guess I did, didn’t I – sorry!” Harold didn’t try to make it romantic, although clearly because it was between you it was, and you supposed it was something a little reminiscent of ‘father of the bride’. Well, no one else – not even your family – was dancing with you, so why the hell not? Still you voiced the question. “Should we be doing this?” To which you were only presented with your own question: “Shouldn’t we really be beyond caring?” You couldn’t help but laugh, “You been drinkin’?!” “Not that much, give me some credit!” Oh, the want to pull him closer, your wish to lay your head on his shoulder and close your eyes as he swayed you gently on this dancefloor. To look into his eyes like you really wanted to, and were using all your self-control to make sure you weren’t. For him to just wrap you in his embrace right now. It didn’t happen, and you didn’t expect it to, but it hurt a little. Still, here you were and he was ‘holding’ you – it was as close as you were going to get, and you savoured every single second of his skin on yours. Eventually you did actually get to dance with your father and then some younger ‘gentlemen’ (though, whether you’d call them that…) cut in and you let them dance with you the way you wished that Harold could. At least you were enjoying yourself, to you that was the most important thing. But, you ended up back over by the drinks table with your actual other half, observing the party once more, and you broached the subject of the catalyst. “What did Ian say to you?” “Huh?” He turned, bottle half way to his lips. “I mean it looked like he was getting a little irate.” Harold just looked confused, so you sighed with an eyeroll, “Earlier!” “Oh.” Then he laughed, “Well clearly he’s the least happy person at this entire wedding, and he ironically said this was all my fault.” Your eyebrows raised, “Sorry!?” “Well I did take Mary to Tom’s 21st. So, I guess… that’s where they became a little more serious.” You snorted, “Holy shit. The wedding is your fault!? But what’s wrong with the-” you looked back out to the guests and then it clicked, “Everyone was growing up… You think they ended all the affairs at home?” He gave you a face to say he agreed with your deduction, “I’m glad we didn’t get the memo.” You only laughed, “I don’t think I would have agreed to the memo!” “Now we’re on the same page-!” **

You were standing outside on the patio, admiring the stars and lit scenery, when Tom caught up with you again. “Can I ask you something?” “Yes. And you just did.” That had him laughing, and you only slipped into chuckles too, he still liked how fast you were at quipping. Suddenly you were transported back – what would this have been if it didn’t become such a mess. “Your boyfriend…” “Mhm.” You straightened to the edge in his voice, and although Tom was looking at you seriously there was a hint of playfulness to his voice. “How long have you been together?” You couldn’t tell if he’d figured you out yet. “What if I said, it’s the same guy that I first mentioned to you in that massive argument we had?” He leant back against the railing, breathing out heavily. “I feel like I should have… figured it out before now.” “Considering I don’t know what you’ve figured out – you want me to help?” “It’s my dad, isn’t it.” It wasn’t even a question. You were a little affronted by his tone: “You don’t have to make it sound so creepy. In fact, if you want me to bring up glass houses…” He was a little taken aback that you’d just admit it, “Shit, you knew about-!?” “I told you I did. Yeah, that’s how this all started, you and Ian and…” you waved your hand and then pointed at yourself, “Only I stayed with mine… Geez, I’m sorry.” “Sorry?” He laughed, “Why?” “He’s… your dad. That’s not why I dated you, it’s just how it happened.” “You don’t have to explain!” He waved his hands around, “He’s happy, you’re happy, you’ve spent a lot of time together today, I have observed, and it just… I dunno, I guess it clicked. Everything he’s said about – well you – but his other half, and everything you’ve said.” “Oh, damn, is it obvious?!” “No. I just have all the pieces, don’t I?” “You’re… a little too cool with this.” “I told you we were cool before.” Tom’s look was significant, “We’re still cool. And I’m not gonna go telling everyone, until you’re ready to go do that yourselves. Besides,” he nudged you with a smile, “you seem to have enough dirt on me!” “Uh, I would never. You go off and enjoy your married life to an amazing woman, you idiot!” “I’ll do my best – but I’m never gonna call you mom!” “I’m just glad I’m older than you!” You folded your arms with a grin as he left you, with a wave, before turning back, “Why’s that!?” “The likely inevitability of grandbabies. I’m just gonna have to be the cool aunt or something!” You didn’t think you’d heard anyone laugh so loud in a long time. ***

It continued to get later, although the party was still going on and you could hardly take it anymore. You’d watched him move around in it all day, and now all you wanted was that suit on your hotel room floor, or his. That single button he’d undone and the slacked nature of his tie was nowhere near enough for you. But it was hard to let him know that when you couldn’t just go over and grab his hand; you had to just rely on glances and hope that he got it. And clearly he did, as he crossed the room back to you. Although instead of telling you that he was ready to go, he came with a cautionary tale. “We need to be careful about this.” “And your suggestion is?” “Well, we have to stagger when we leave, but you might want to say goodbye to people. Because your parents will notice you’re gone.” “Oh, your son isn’t gonna notice you’re gone, huh?” It was then Harold decided to tell you he’d seen your conversation with Tom, “Well he knows, doesn’t he.” It wasn’t a question, and you were stuck on how to respond, “I didn’t hear, but I saw you two. Is there anything you want me to say to him?” “…Well, that’s between you…” You lowered your eyes, “I didn’t tell him, he guessed.” “Sweetheart, it’s okay.” Harold couldn’t touch you, so his nickname made you look up. “I’ll talk to him, maybe not tonight… You go, I’ll watch you, wait for me.” You nodded and he gave you a gentle wink before you both headed in different directions. You had one more drink before you started to play the tired card – although really you were far from it – and said goodbye to your parents, a few of the others you knew here, and finally bride and groom before you headed off. Outside of the reception room the hotel was cool and quiet (you supposed it was pretty late) and you could take a breather, sliding out of your heels on the steps it felt so good to be back on the floor. You wandered slowly up the corridor and across hotel reception, you weren’t exactly sure whose room you were heading to, but nearly everyone was on the same floor and you were all certainly on the same wing. You were just finding your way up the steps on the other side of reception when you heard the footfall of smart dress shoes behind you, and turned to Harold saying a goodnight to the receptionist who had pulled night shift. He continued his pace as he caught you, turning up the corridor but not before turning back and wishing you a goodnight. You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow: who were you keeping up appearances for now? Hotel staff? You shook your head and turned, finding him back at his room, apparently having trouble with his key.

“Would you like some help?” You slipped yourself between him and his room door. “If you would be so kind.” “Not sure I was talking about your room key…” You smirked, prising it from his hand, waiting for the beep to pull him to your lips by his tie, you stumbled backwards into the room as he pushed the door. Harold waited until it had closed to pull you into him, hands into your hair. It felt so good to have him touch you again, and you realised how much you’d yearned for it all day, as his hands moved down your neck and shoulders to your back, he continued to pull you closer. “God, I love you.” You almost whimpered it – kisses leaving you breathless, and you weren’t sure if that was because of the whole wedding atmosphere, or that you hadn’t had even a single chance to tell him face to face in nearly two days. But he needed to know, urgently. He chuckled, nuzzling your face with his own, “I love you too.” Your breath still caught every time he said it, even now. After having to wait so long for his first, there wasn’t anything any less special about it a hundred, a thousand, a million times later. He was still nothing ever but delicate with you, guiding you across his room to the bed before his hands collected on your shoulders again. Harold took a step back, the low level lighting set the perfect mood, but he moved his body so the moonlight could shine on you through the still open curtains. “You are so beautiful.” His fingers gathered under your chin, to keep you from shying away from his eyes as your own hands collected on his chest, ready to push his jacket down his arms. “You truly are.” As if he didn’t already affirm this nearly every day of his life, and Harold kissed you again. “Me?” Your instinctive reaction to flirting was always to nervously joke, “You look in a mirror, lately?” Harold shook his head before his lips traced yours again and he let you relieve him of his jacket, you were quick to unfurl his tie too. You stilled at the buttons of his shirt because his hands were back on your shoulders again and you relaxed your stance, releasing his lips to watch him push the straps of your dress down, guiding his hands across to the slight zip, he ghosted you a kiss in thanks before he let your dress fall to the floor. This time as you caught his collar to run through the buttons you kissed him harder, pushing your body into his – encouraging him to touch you and moaning into his kiss as you did so. His shirt was off quick and joined your dress as he deepened the kiss and you wound yourself around him, enjoying the taste on his tongue. Your kiss continued to get hot and heavy as your hands shot to his belt; he was no longer of the persuasion to stop you on bedroom thresholds, opening his body up for you to relieve him of it and undo his suit pants. Relenting as his hands caressed your back, finding your bra clasp; you always felt so fragile under those large hands of his, but all Harold ever did was take care of you. He lifted you gently from the floor and laid you both back in the sheets, kicking off his pants as he did so. You remained locked in your kiss as he caught you in an embrace, pulling your panties slowly down your legs, your breathing was a little shallower, at the friction of his hips against yours. You could hardly wait for him now, eagerly reliving him of his own underwear. “Shh shhh…” Harold gathered your hands in his, breaking the kiss and you whined, making him chuckle, “Darling, we have all night…” “…Harry…” The way you whined his name was delightful and that flicker across his eyes that he couldn’t control had you craving more of him, “please.” And you knew he wouldn’t deny you if you asked politely. “All night.” He repeated, and all you hoped was you weren’t going to be too loud when the other guests retired to their rooms for the evening. Hooking your leg over his hips he made sure you were completely comfortable before he entered you. You held him tighter, trying to stifle your moans in his skin. But he groaned gently too, and it was an exquisite little sound. In the comfortable quiet before you moved together, you kissed him gently again, reaffirming what you’d said before, “I love you.” Free to tell him all night now, you weren’t about to waste any opportunity. He rubbed his hands over your skin, sweet and delicate, “Darling I know… I’ve known that for a very long time.” He caught your lips once more, “I only hope I remain deserving of such love.” You weren’t sure why he occasionally said things like that to you, maybe sometimes he felt guilty about the whole thing, but you would only ever reassure him. He was deserving, and you knew he would always remain that way.

*** It was very early morning when you awoke, too much excitement in the air – even in the aftermath of the wedding - for you to sleep. You stood out on the balcony, watching the watery sky as the sun began to break through.  Harold was content to watch you from the bed as you were draped in his shirt and the bed sheet, looking out towards the ocean. There was always something about all these ocean views… He stood and half-dressed himself before joining you, he almost didn’t want to break the silence and how serene everything was. Harold opted instead to simply stand with you, caressing your exposed skin, stroking the small of your back delicately. You wore a soft smile, and although you weren’t looking at him, he knew that he was where all your focus stayed. Eventually you tilted yourself, so your head rested against him – and the noise you made was of content. The silence remained for a long time, because there was nothing for either of you to say. Why say ‘I love you’ when you’d spent your night showing each other how in love you were, and how much you appreciated the opportunity to be with each other… There was something even more beautiful about you in the afterglow, but Harold wasn’t sure he could handle just telling you that yet. There was something about the time of day, about the time you’d just spent with him, all the joy that surrounded the wedding that made you speak honestly. Something had weighed on you for a long time; it wasn’t a bad weight, just a muse you were almost too scared to voice. But after everything, right now felt like the best and only time to say it. So you did. “Is it crazy to want this... for me to wish this could be us one day?” You couldn’t look at him for fear of becoming so embarrassed that you’d stammer ‘forget it’ and run from the room. That perhaps all you would see in Harold was hesitation, and it might break your heart in two right then and there. You assumed his answer; that he would chuckle at you, and be as lovely with you as ever but tell you not to be so stupid – this wasn’t to be your fate. That wasn’t what Harold said, and the silence didn’t hang because he didn’t know what to say, but because what you’d voice demanded the gravitas and respect of a real answer, a thought out answer. He took a breath, looking out to the sky as you were, before smiling and taking your hand, pulling your body into his embrace and kissing the crown of your head. He kept his voice low and gentle, as delicate with you as ever. Why had you expected anything less? “No. I don’t think it’s that crazy at all.”

---

Thanks so much for reading 😘🤗

[that-winged-rat]

Redemption

Redemption ~ Part 2

*not my gif*

Summary: The group get closer to finding Mary and Jack; Y/N’s past comes to light.

Pairing: None

Characters: Y/N Y/L/N, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Jack Kline, Mary Winchester (mention of).

Warnings: Angst, implications of torture, mentions of death, suicidal thoughts, alcohol.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: Okay! Part 2 of Redemption! I’m not sure if there’s going to be a part three or not, but if people ask for it, I’ll most likely do it. Feedback is always encouraged and welcomed! Enjoy :)

Read Part One HERE

An hour later and Y/N and Dean had subconsciously changed the ‘one glass’ rule to the ‘one more glass’ rule until it turned into one bottle. Dean was barely tipsy, whereas the alcohol had a different affect on the cambion, surprisingly.

“Are you drunk? I thought you would have like, immunity or something,” Dean said, taking another drink from his glass.

“I’m just a little tipsy,” Y/N said, her words slurring together slightly. “This is my first drink in about... sixty years?”

Dean saw an opportunity. “How come?”

He frowned, watching as she completely sobered up as soon as the question left his mouth. She pursed her lips, contemplating telling him or not. “That... is a story for another time,” she said, putting her wall back up.

“Oh, come on! You just gonna leave me in suspense?”

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do,” she replied with a smirk. Dean looked in his glass as he took it from his lips. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Dean asked.

“Depends on what the question is,” she said.

“Why do you live in the woods on your own? I mean, doesn’t it get lonely?”

She hesitated for a moment and Dean knew she was constructing an answer that wouldn’t reveal any personal information. “Because why the hell not? And I’m not a people-person so, loneliness isn’t an issue.” 

“Your face says otherwise.”

Y/N glared at him. She finished her glass and put it down on the table before walking from the war-room to the library, and Dean knew he hit a nerve. 

By the time Sam and Cas got back from their supply run, Y/N had opened a few more portals, though none of them were the right one. But with each one she opened, she grew more tired. Deciding it was a good time to take a break, she flopped down on an armchair, falling asleep almost instantly.

“She’s hiding something,” Dean said as he looked over at her sleeping form. Him, Sam and Cas were sitting at the long library table.

“Definitely,” Sam agreed. “Oh yeah, apparently... she’s been at the bunker before,” he said in a hushed voice, careful not to wake her up.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Yeah. She said that Men of Letters got all of their cambion lore from her. I’m pretty sure they tortured her here.”

Dean looked over at her again, slightly twitching in her sleep. “Another thing: she got real touchy and defensive when I asked her about why she lived on her own.”

Cas frowned and looked up to Dean. “I’m not sure exactly what went down, but I know that something happened years ago and she accidentally killed a group of people. I’m pretty sure that’s when she moved to the woods. No one heard from her after that, until now. Everyone thought she was dead.”

Now it was Sam who looked over at her, brows furrowed. “How long ago was that?”

“Uh, I’m not sure. Over fifty years at least.” 

Dean was about to say something about what Y/N had said earlier about not having a drink in about sixty years and thought that maybe it was connected, but stopped himself when she stirred. The boys thought that she had just woken up, but they didn’t know that she had heard their whole conversation about her. 

When they saw her wake up, Sam and Cas each opened a book that was in front of them, while Dean opened his laptop, not so subtly acting innocent. Even if Y/N didn’t hear what they were saying, she would’ve known that they were talking about something that she wasn’t supposed to hear.

She stretched and stood up before walking away, gaining the attention of Dean.

“Where you going?”

“If you must know, I have to pee,” she said over her shoulder as she kept walking.

“You good to keep going?” Sam asked once she got back to the library.

“Yeah.” She did her stuff and opened yet another portal. She stuck her head through like she had done plenty of times before. But instead of seeing something that wasn’t Apocalypse World, she saw the landscape that Sam had described to her.

Y/N came back and turned around with a smile on her face, raising her arms to her side, as if expecting a hug, when she got the attention of the three men. “Am I the best, or what?”

They all stood up in synchrony. “You found it?” Sam asked urgently. She put her arms back down.

“I found it,” she repeated.

“Are you serious?” Dean asked.

“Well, I have no reason to lie to you, but if you don’t believe me, see for yourself,” she said and stepped aside, letting Sam, Dean and Cas go through and see the ruined world.

“You actually found it.”

“You sound surprised, Sam.”

“Okay, enough with the doubt,” Dean said. “We’ll go pack some stuff and get going. You–” he pointed at Y/N– “are gonna stay here and make sure that that–” he moved his finger to point at the portal– “doesn’t shut by the time we get back. Got it?”

She saluted jokingly. “Aye aye, Captain.”

The three of them went their separate ways, packing necessities for their rescue mission. They returned a few minutes later, each with a duffel bag. Dean went over a few things with Y/N before he followed Sam and Cas into the glowing orange light. 

---

Six hours later and Y/N was still sitting at the library, reading a book that was written in Latin. She had absolutely no idea what any of it said, but had fun trying to pronounce it, nonetheless.

She noticed a flashing light out of the corner of her eye, and she was about to get up to recharge the portal, but Dean jumped through, followed by Cas, then an older woman and a younger man. Then, to Y/N’s surprise, about twenty other people. And last but not least, Sam.

She walked over to the younger Winchester, who was placing his bag on a table. “Did you find them?” She asked.

“Yeah. They’re just over there with Dean and Cas,” he said, nodding his head over to where Dean and the angel was with the older lady and the boy.

Y/N nodded and looked around at the many people who now occupied the large space. “Looks like you found... a lot more than just your mom and your friend.” 

Sam chuckled. “Uh, yeah. They don’t really have much of a world left. They deserve a second chance,” he said and Y/N nodded. Sam cleared his throat. “Um, me and Dean were talking and we thought that... maybe we could give you a second chance as well.”

Y/N frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“We mean that we're not going to help you die.” She turned around to see Dean. Jack was standing next to him, staring at Y/N, his eyebrows furrowed and his head tilted.

“What? Why the hell not? We had a deal,” she exclaimed angrily.

Sam and Dean looked to each other. “You helped us. And you shouldn’t die–you shouldn’t want to die.”

She laughed incredulously. “The only reason I helped you was because of what we agreed on; I help you get your mom and friend back, and you help me look for a way to die. That was the deal.”

Jack spoke up, “What are you?” He asked.

Y/N looked to him. “Damn pissed, that’s what I am,” she said through gritted teeth before looking back at the brothers.

Sam sighed. “Does it have anything to do with what happened to all those people years ago?” Y/N stared at him in confusion. “Cas told us what happened.”

She laughed again and looked down to the ground. “Yeah, trust me, he doesn’t have the slightest idea about what happened with those people.”

“We just want to help,” Sam said.

“You would be helping if you didn’t chicken out! I wouldn’t ask for it if I didn’t want it.”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Why do you want to die?”

“What?”

“Why do you want to die?”

She sighed, “I have been through so much crap in my long ass life. And I just want it to be over.” Sam looked at her through sympathetic eyes. “But you guys won’t let that happen, will you? So I’ll be on my merry way. Thanks for nothing,” she spat out before walking through the sea of people and up the stairs, leaving the bunker.

“That went well,” Dean deadpanned. Sam sighed and went to go and talk to Mary.

---

Jack stared up at the cabin, confused on how anyone could live in those conditions. He stood there for another moment before walking up the stairs and up to the door. He didn’t bother knocking as he stepped inside the dilapidated building.

“Hello? Y/N?” He called out cautiously. He walked around the cabin, leaving the living room and entering the kitchen.

“What do you want?” He spun around at the female voice, seeing Y/N leaning against the now intact wall joining the kitchen and the dining room.

“I just–I just came to talk.”

“Well, too bad, because I’m not here to listen, Bambi,” she said, walking away.

“What are you?” Jack asked again, hoping for a different answer than ‘pissed’. She stopped walking and turned around to face him.

“I’m a Cambion. And you’re a Nephilim.” Jack tilted his head, silently asking how she knew that. “You’re not the first one I’ve come across, buddy.”

Jack looked around and noticed a cluster of boxes on the floor near the front door. How he missed them on the way in was beyond him. 

“Where... where are you going?” He asked.

“Well, apparently nobody gets the memo that I want to be left alone, so I am moving away. Somewhere hopefully no one will be able to find me,” she said, closing her eyes and imagining the blissful solidarity.

“You’re lying,” Jack said, causing Y/N to open her eyes and sigh. “You don’t want to be alone. You’re scared.”

She tilted her head, looking slightly amused. “And how would you know that, Mr. Psychologist?”

“I can tell when people lie,” he said, matter of fact.

“Is that so?” Before Jack could interrupt, she continued talking. “Well then, maybe you can tell me what I’m so afraid of.”

“Yourself,” he said, not missing a beat.

She hesitated for a minute and visibly swallowed. “You’re just like Sam, you know? Too damn nosey for your own good.”

“You didn’t deny it. Why are you scared of yourself?” He asked, taking a step closer to her as his eyes glowed a bright yellow. “Tell me the truth.”

Y/N found herself incapable of moving as Jack placed his hands on her temples. Golden veins travelled up her cheeks and turned her eyes the same colour. And before she could stop herself, she was telling him everything.

“August 3rd 1965. I was taken by a demon who claimed to be my father. He... he got inside my head. Brainwashed me. Made me kill dozens upon dozens of people, because he wanted to see what I was truly capable of. During that time, I killed friends, people I considered family, and people I didn’t even know. A week later, I broke free and I killed my father. Then one night I was at a bar, getting drunk, trying to forget the things I had done, and someone accidentally spilled their drink on me. I got angry and before I knew what was happening, people were screaming and I killed an innocent man. I became the thing I was trying so hard not to be. So I bought this cabin and made it so that if anyone were to come in, it would look abandoned and they wouldn’t be able to find me unless I wanted them to. When Sam and Dean came to get me, that was the first time I had left here since I bought it.”

Jack let his hands fall back down to his side and Y/N gasped, stumbling back and catching herself on the wall. Jack felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him when he saw the betrayal in Y/N’s eyes as she looked at him.

“Get out,” Y/N demanded, her eyes set and her jaw clenched.

“Y/N, I just–”

“I said get out!” She repeated more firmly, not taking her gaze away from him. 

But Jack didn’t move, only angering Y/N more. He was about to apologize but by the time the words were leaving his mouth, he was alone. There was no sign of Y/N, or that she even lived there; the cabin had returned to it’s former state and all the boxes that were by the front door were gone.

He sighed and pictured the outside of the bunker, before it appeared in front of him.

---

Part Three!

Tagged: @supernaturalenchanted​​

[benhardyisdaddy]

the breakup - part 5

MASTERLIST

WARNING: panic attack

Ben!RogerxReader

Word Count: 2,868

(HELLO QUEEN THOTS wlcm to chap 5 i hope u like it and im excited to write chap 6 tbh im gonna make it chaotic just 4 u ILY oh ALSO that gif is what i imagined his smirk to be when he’s talking to roy OK ENJOY)

You just wanted to hurt him. You enjoyed watching his face fall as you walked towards the exit with Roy. Your heart was beating so fast as you walked past him. He had stood up straighter as he stared at you. You looked away and suddenly your legs feel like they could go out from underneath you. You ignore it and continue walking. Mary walks up in front of you and smiles confused.

“Who’s this?” she asks.

“Roy,” he says, holding out his hand. She shakes it and grins.

“I’m Mary. Where are the two of you heading off to?” she asks, looking to you. She notices, even from behind the mask, you look white as a ghost. Your breathing is a bit scattered as you stare into space.

“Hey, you okay?” she asks, worried.

You look up and nod, trying to smile.

“Just need some fresh air.” you say as you continue walking.

You finally exit outside and there’s absolutely no one around. You let go of Roy’s hand and slowly make your way down the steps. Just then you realize that you’re taking in sharp, fast breaths and feel light headed. You clutch at your chest as your heart pounds. Your body begins to go numb as you feel yourself slowly sinking to the ground.  Roy’s hands are on your arms as he helps you sit down. He bends in front of you and asks if you’re okay. He realizes that you can’t catch your breath and are shaking badly. He rushes back inside.

He runs in and looks around frantically. He spots your friend Mary standing by a few men.

“Mary!” he shouts to her. Her and the men all turn their heads to you. She notices the worried expression and the lack of your absence. She darts off towards him. Roger also notices this. Mary runs outside and straight to you. You were still sitting on a step and tears were now streaming down your face. You were gasping and crying. You thought you were going to pass out.

“What’s happening?” shouts Mary. “Y/n? Y/n, it’s okay! Tell me what’s wrong?”

You don’t reply. All you can do is close your eyes, gasp and shake your head. Just then Roger flies outside and is at your side in a second. He places his hands on either side of your face. Your eyes are still closed, but you just know that it’s Roger’s touch.

“What’s happening?” Mary asks again, worried.

“She’s having a panic attack.” Rog says. “It’s happened many times before. Y/n?” he asks.

You slowly open your eyes and look at him.

“Lean forward and put your head between your legs to calm down your breathing, baby. Remember?”

You lean forward and put your head in your hands. It takes several moments, but you finally feel your breathing calm down. Roger is rubbing your back and whispering soothing things to you. You can’t help but cry. You were embarrassed, sad, angry and so many other things. You look up to Roger and your eyes lock again. He reaches his hand up and wipes away some stray tears. His touch makes you shiver.

“It’s okay,” he whispers.

Was he talking about the panic attack or your relationship? You turn away from his grasp and go to stand up. John rushes up as he steadies your wobbly legs.

“Deaky, can you please take me home?” you ask.

“I can drive you.” says Rog, hopeful.

“No.” you say fast. “I want John to.”

Roger takes a step back as John guides you to the limo in the corner. He opens up the door and helps you slide in. He closes the door and you stare out, watching Rog through the tinted windows. Brian pats him on the shoulder as they all turn to walk back inside. Except Rog. He stands there, watching you until you’re out of sight.

_____________________________________

It felt like forever until you finally arrived back home. John helped you out of the limo and up to your apartment. The two of you walk in and you kick off your heels. You exhale and turn to face him. He sadly smiles.

“Thank you, Deaky.” you say, leaning in to hug him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, worried.

You lean away and nod.

“I’ll be okay after I change.” you say, making him laugh.

“Call us if you need anything, okay?” he asks as he opens the door. “Oh, and y/n,” he says, turning to face you. “He really does love you.”

You say nothing as you process what he had just said. He sadly smiles once more and shuts the door behind him. As soon as the door closes, you sob. You fall to the floor and bring your knees up to your chest. All of this was too much. He’s been more focused on you since this breakup than his own work. Work! Your head shoots up as you remember that you have five days to complete your painting.

You jump up and rush to change into an old t shirt and shorts. You throw your hair up and take off that ridiculous mask. You grab your easel and paints and set everything up just the way you like it. You grab your stool and sit down. You stare at the blank canvas and that’s exactly how you feel: blank. You swirl your brush in a color and begin swiping it all over. You dip it into another and do the same. You keep painting for what seems like an eternity. 

You bite your lip as you try to get it perfect. You let all of the anger inside of you come out onto the canvas. You finally finish and step back. The image was of a girl who resembles you. There are black and red chaotic lines running across the top of her head. They resemble the bottled up anxieties that she was letting take over her life. It represented everything you were feeling. You smile at your painting and yawn. It was getting late.

You wash up and decide to lay down. You're not sure when you eventually fall asleep, but you do. You wake up to a text message from a number you don’t know.

Hey, you! How are you feeling? This is Roy from the masquerade, BTW. - R

Roy! You had completely forgotten about him last night. You put your hands over you face and groan. You were so embarrassed. Just then you get another text.

Oh, um, Mary gave me your number. In case if you were wondering if I had stalked you, because yes. Yes I have. - R

You laugh at the message and text back.

I totally knew you looked like the stalking type. Oh well, too late. - Y/n

Yes, too late. Now you definitely have to eat dinner with me tonight. Say, 7 O’clock? - R

You bite your lip and smirk. Okay good. He didn’t think you’re a complete loser like you thought he did.

7 sounds wonderful. Maybe Mary can send you my address as well. ;) - Y/n

Already done. ;) Can’t wait to see you. - R

You throw your phone down and stand up. You throw on your robe and walk out of your room. Roger was sitting on the couch, cross legged as he sipped on some tea. You pause and look at him.

“Thank you,” you say. He says nothing. “For last night. For helping me.”

Rog slowly nods and gives you a quick smile, before regaining his attention to the TV show in front of him. You awkwardly smile back and head to the kitchen. You spot a cup of tea already waiting for you on the counter. You look up to Rog and your heart falls. No matter how hurt or angry he was at you, he always made sure to take care of you.

“I like the painting.” he says, not looking away from the tv. “Very sad.” he says with a fake chuckle.

“Thank you,” you say confidently. “I’m submitting it to a show downtown in a few days for a big artist.”

He finally looks at you, an eyebrow raising up.

“Who?” he asks, genuinely excited for you.

“Oh, so you suddenly care about my stupid job?” you ask, walking back to your room, leaving the tea.

_________________________________

The rest of the day had been quiet around the home. You and Rog barely said another word to each other for the remaining of the day. You two stole quick glances at one another, but that was all. He needed clothes and stuff from your room, but after he got them, he remained in the living room on the couch.

When the boys had arrived at your place, it was nearing 7. You swipe on a gloss on your lips and smack them together. You were in a long, flowy black dress, that revealed a large portion of your back. Your hair was curled as you tossed it behind your shoulders. You smile at yourself in the mirror and search for your pair of heels when a sudden loud knock is heard at your front door. Your eyes opened wide.

In the other room, Roger looks at the door confused. The boys all look around and shrug. Rog walks over and slowly opens it. A man dressed nice suit stands before him with a confused smile.

“Oh, hi. Um, does y/n live here? This was the address I was given.”

Rog’s heart drops. You hadn’t said anything about going out with anyone tonight. A date? All of a sudden the guy’s face seems familiar.

“You were that lad at the party.” he states.

The guy nods and laughs. “That was me.”

Roger narrows his eyes and fake smiles. “You were leaving with y/n.”

The boys all got quiet behind Roger as the guy awkwardly switches his stance.

“Oh, uh-” says Roy, as you walk up.

“Roy!” you say, nudging Roger out of the way to hug him. His eyes open wide at your outfit.

“Wow. You look beautiful!” he says holding your hand, looking you up and down.

“She always does.” murmurs Rog. You give him a quick glance and look back to Roy smiling.

“You look very lovely as well.” you say. Just then someone behind you clears their throat. You turn and all of the boys are smiling at you.

“Oh, right! Roy, this is Brian, John and Freddie. My best friends.” They all beam at your warm introduction. Then you look to Roger and your smile drops.

“And this is Roger.” you say fast.

“Her boyfriend.” he says, with a smug smile.

“Ex boyfriend.” You glare your eyes at him. Roy looks between the two of you.

“Do you… live together?” he asks. The two of you look to him.

“He/she won’t get out.” you both say at the same exact same time. You roll your eyes.

“Anyways, are you ready?” you ask, smiling.

“Yes! So I was thinking seafood for dinner?” he asks.

“She’s allergic.” says Roger. You look to him and give him a warning look.

“Oh… Um, then how about a nice steak restaurant I know.”

“She hates steak.” chimes in Roger again. You close your eyes and exhale, but you can almost feel Roger’s smirk.

“Um… Italian?” asks Roy, feeling a little helpless. Your head shoots up and you smile. You look to Roger.

“I love Italian.” you say proudly, still looking at Rog. He rolls his eyes and looks away. You grab Roy’s hand and step into the hallway. You look over to Rog and sweetly smile.

“Don’t wait up for me.” 

You walk away, but not before you notice Rog’s jaw tightening at your words. You smirk to yourself, but your heart slightly ached.  

_____________________________________

Your date with Roy had been amazing. He took you to a very fancy and expensive Italian restaurant. He ordered you your favorite wine. You ate and laughed. He ordered dessert that you two shared. When you left the restaurant the two of you walked through a little park, hand in hand, and just talked. You talked about everything. Your job, your interests, and even Roger.

“So he’s your ex?” he asks. You exhale.

“Yes, we are no longer together.” you say.

“But he lives with you?”

You nod. “Both of our names are on the lease and we’re too stubborn to be the first person to go.”

“How long were you together?” he asks.

You look away and half smile.

 “Seven years.” 

All you can think about is the very first time you met Roger.

“Her,” he says, looking across the room.

“The y/h/c?” asks Bri.

He nods and smiles.

“I want her.” He doesn't take his eyes off of you. You’re laughing with your good friend Mary and he melts at your smile.

“Go talk to her, darling.” says Fred.

Roger’s heart skips a beat. “Talk to her?! Are you joking? Look at her!”

They all look back to you and this time your eyes were on his. You half smiled and looked away as you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. Mary looks over to the boys and smirks. She grabs your hand and drags you with her to walk over to them, even tho you were begging her not to. You walk up and look to Rog and smile.

“Hello.” says Fred, looking at Mary. She smirks back.

“Hello. I saw you looking at my friend here.” she says, looking to Roger.

Your cheeks turn red as you whisper her name harshly. Roger looks to you and he looks equally as embarrassed.

“Oh, uh…” he goes to say.

“Do you fancy her?” she asks. Where was this sudden burst of confidence coming from?

“I mean… I think she’s beautiful.” he says, looking to you.

“It’s as if his flirting powers have vanished.” jokes Deaky.

“I think you’re his kryptonite.” says Bri.

“Yeah, no witty pick up line? No gross joke?” asks Fred.

“Oh, piss off.” he says to them all. You laugh which makes him smile.

“Would you like to dance?” he asks you.

You look to Mary then back to him.

“Oh, I don’t know how to dance.” you say, blushing.

“Neither do I,” he says holding out a hand for you, smirking. “Maybe we can figure it out together.”

You’re snapped back to reality when you realize that you were now standing in front of your building. You turn to face Roy and he smiles at you.

“I had an amazing time. Maybe we can do it again soon?” he asks, reaching for your hand. You smile and nod.

“I would like that.” you say. He smiles at your answer and slowly leans in to kiss you. You suddenly panic and move your face to the side just a bit and lean up to kiss him on the cheek instead. He’s taken back by this and freezes for a second.

“Thank you for tonight.” you say fast. “Goodnight, Roy.” And with that you scurry inside the building. You put your hand to your chest and take in a deep breath.You walk up to your door and unlock it. You walk in and Roger is in the kitchen, doing the dishes. You freeze at the sight of him. He looks to you and pauses.

“I thought you wouldn’t be back until late.” he says, looking away.

You go to say something, but your phone goes off. You quickly pull it from your purse. Flynn is calling you.

“Hello?”

“So I have some news.” he says immediately. Your heart sinks. “Philip has pushed his art show back. To tomorrow.”

Your eyes widen. You look over to your painting that’s still on the easel by the window.

“Tomorrow?!” you ask.

“Yes, tomorrow, but I know you can come up with something!” he says.

“I mean, I already finished a piece for it. I just didn’t know if it’s exactly what I wanted to use.”

“Perfect!” he yells. “I’m sure it’s wonderful. So be at the downtown plaza at 6 O’clock sharp, okay?” he asks.

“Okay. See you then.” you say as you hang up. You stare at your phone and smile. Tomorrow. Philip Chartier. Your biggest role model.

“What’s tomorrow?” asks Rog, wiping his hands off. You had almost forgot he was standing there.

“It’s another art show. For Philip Chartier. He saw my work at the last show and wanted me to create a piece for him.” you say smiling.

Roger’s eyes light up. “Well, that’s amazing, y/n.” he says calmly, yet hopeful. You smile.

“It’s at the downtown plaza at 6. You can… You can go if you want?” you say.

“Oh, um,” he says, shifting. “We have practice tomorrow around then…”

You nod and fake smile. You turn to walk to your room. You felt dumb for expecting him to actually say yes.

“I’ll be there.” he says, looking at you.

You turn around and he lightly smiles. You stare at him and smile back. You slowly turn and walk into your room. Maybe this time he will keep his promise.

Maybe.

Tag List: @sweetlygwilym @rogerinascigarette @basics-andthesimplelife @through-faith @myprincesoftheuniverse @scoobydoosbooty @beanut-putter @pg-taylor-fltchr @shadycupcakefox @loudxxstar @zcars777 @perriwiinkle @amostpeculiarmademoisellerp @lovethis-lovethat @queen-darlin

[unofferable-fic]

Do You Fear the Devil? (Loki x Reader): 3 - Annie Chapman

Summary: You are one of the many working women roaming the streets of Whitechapel when a madman begins to murder your comrades one by one. The attacks are so gruesome, that the detectives can only describe his work as that of “a devil than of a man”. Loki Laufeyson is a Metropolitan police detective and surgeon who is assisting on the case. As more bodies pile up and you and your friends fear for your lives, the police remain well and truly stumped. When Detective Laufeyson turns to you for help to find the murderer, you must face your fears to save yourself… But who can you really trust when you are the prey being stalked at night by someone who calls himself Jack the Ripper?

Gif originally found here

————

Victorian London AU

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of injuries/violence, gore, language, angst.

Word Count: 5,259

Previous Chapter    Next Chapter

Playlist: “Let Me In, Heathcliff” — Ruth Barrett, “Where Did You Sleep Last Night” — Nirvana, “Sir Galahad” — Jason Graves, “The Carnival of the Animals, R. 125: The Swan” — Camille Saint-Saëns

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A/N: Also available on AO3. YES HELLO I AM ALIVE. I took a much needed break over Christmas and then suffered with a bit of writers block, but I am back and happy to bring another chapter to anyone still reading along. As always, any feedback at all would be much appreciated! Hearing what you guys have to say means a lot. Thanks for anyone out there in the fanfiction abyss still reading my trash <3 (Also apologies if I forgot to tag anyone who asked - I’m all over the place since my break, but feel free to hit me up if you wanna be tagged).

8th September 1888, 5.00 am.

You were out with Natasha again that night.

Given your new ‘official’ duties as police accomplices, you found yourself wandering the darkened streets every second day or so. You and Natasha didn’t mind — at least it added some entertainment to your usually boring day. It was new and exciting and even though it surrounded a very morbid subject matter, you knew your presence was helping the police. Sometimes Wanda came along for the trip, and on this occasion she was more than happy to accompany you.

“I’m not sure if this is entirely legal with regards our arrangement,” Natasha mused as the three of you left the White Swan earlier that evening. “But I was never one for following police orders anyway.”

You had seen nothing of Loki in the past week, but Steve had become a regular at the brothel — only to call you both out for some assistance of course. It somewhat reminded you of being a kid again and your friend calling to your door to ask if you would come out and play. Except this time it was the sergeant asking that you help track down a murderer… No matter how hard Natasha tried, it seemed that he simply wouldn’t take the bait and become a customer. Seeing who could make him blush more became a nice ongoing joke though… Sometimes two other PCs were in Steve’s company. You recognised them as the two constables from Bucks Row. You soon found out that they were called James Barnes and Samuel Wilson. The former was an excessive flirt, and kept requesting that you call him ‘Bucky’ for some reason. His comrade was less of a flirt but was still kind at least. He did however like to poke fun at you as well as his comrades. It seemed that Barnes and Wilson were constantly at each others throats. Their dynamic became easy to recognise — both Barnes and Wilson fought for Steve’s attention which resulted in verbal spats that drove Steve up the wall and made you laugh until you were crying.

Steve and James had called for you earlier that evening, and you used the chance to subtly enquire after Loki and his whereabouts.

“He’s the Divisional Police Surgeon,” the sergeant explained. “While we regularly patrol the streets, he is called in on specific occasions and special circumstances. He will be informed on any leads or developments that we find.”

“That’s a shame,” Natasha mused, giving your shoulder a nudge. “He was the funny one.”

While Steve rolled his eyes at this statement, James seemed amused. “Laufeyson is a funny guy.”

“And he is also Y/N’s type,” Wanda teased you with a playful grin. “Cheeky, dark, and handsome.”

James chuckled and threw his arm around your shoulders. “Not as handsome as me though, right, doll?”

You looked him up and down with the most unamused expression you could muster. “Are you making a proposition, Constable? Soliciting is illegal, you know.”

“Well looking certainly isn’t illegal, now is it?”

“We’re on the job, Buck,” Steve insisted gently, not impressed. “We should leave the ladies to it.”

Now you were strolling down Whitechapel Road early in the morning. Only drunkards and your fellow workers were about as per usual. Obviously your group was getting its usual mixed looks of distain and curiosity. Unfortunately for those who inquired, you had to turn them down. Under Steve’s strict instructions, you were to dismiss half of your clientele in order to spend more time with your eyes peeled for any weirdos or suspicious looking men. He had agreed to fund the lost wages so you weren’t exactly complaining about the arrangement. If you did happen to stumble across someone that took your interest for all the wrong reasons, Steve asked you to note as much about him as you could before politely declining him. As long as they had a description to go off, they were happy. He also completely discouraged any sort of ‘vigilantism’, although you weren’t against the idea. Wanda and Nat also loved the sound of such a thing.

“So if we find the man who killed Mary Ann,” Wanda began, linking her arm with yours. “Does that mean we get to kick his face in?”

“Most definitely yes,” you replied. “And then we can hand him over to Stevie with a lovely bloody face.”

“Oh the sergeant would just love that,” Natasha chuckled, grinning at the thoughts of revenge. “Although they might try to slap us with an assault charge.”

You didn’t like the sound of that. “They wouldn’t dare! Not when we handed them a murderer on a plate.”

Suddenly, Wanda veered off towards a portico, dragging out with her as she greeted another woman. “Annie, darling, are you alright?”

Leaning against one of the pillars within the portico stood a woman who looked worse for wear. Annie, as Wanda called her, seemed older than the three of you, and was short and stout in appearance. Blue eyes were hidden behind weary and hooded lids. On the right side of her face was a nasty bruise and there was no doubt in your mind that she was ill. She was dressed in mostly muted brown and black tones, which made a red and white neckerchief tied around her neck stand out all the more.

“Wanda Maximoff?” Annie wheezed, smiling faintly as she looked at the younger worker. “My, I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“It’s only been a few weeks, don’t be so overdramatic.” Wanda smiled before gesturing to you and Natasha. “These are my friends, Y/N and Natasha. They work in the White Swan with me. Ladies, this is Annie. We used to share lodgings on Dorset Street before I came to the brothel.”

The pair of you greeted Annie, who seemed friendly despite the fact she was worse for wear. “Nice to meet you ladies, although I wish we could meet when I was in a better state.”

“What happened to you?” you asked her with genuine concern.

“Oh, this thing?” She pointed to the large bruise on her face. “If you think that’s bad, you should see the one on my chest. Just had a small disagreement with someone in the Britannia pub.”

Natasha spoke without hesitation.  “Give us their name and we shall sort them out.”

“Do not worry yourself over it, ladies.” With a wheeze, Annie pushed herself upright and gritted her teeth in pain. “I refuse to spend another minute thinking on her. She is not worth it.”

“You should not be out here if you are unwell, Annie,” Wanda insisted, helping to keep her steady with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You should go to the casual ward and get yourself looked at.”

“You are very pale,” you noted. “Wanda is right. You should be resting instead of wandering around out here.”

“Ah, I already went to the ward and picked up some medicine. It doesn’t feel like it has done much for me though… But I need money for my lodgings, so I’m trying to earn a few coins out here while I still can. I told the keeper to hold a bed for me and that I would be back shortly. It’s no use giving way, I must pull myself together and get some money or I shall have no lodgings.”

“How much do you need?” Wanda asked, reaching for her purse.

When Annie saw you and Natasha also going for your purses, she waved a hand at you dismissively. “I will not have any of you spending your hard earned money on an old bat like me.”

“We have to look out for each other,” Natasha hushed her. “No one else is going to do it.”

You nodded in agreement. “Especially with all the attacks of late.”

Between the you, Natasha, and Wanda, you happily handed the downtrodden woman enough money to secure her lodgings for the evening. She took it, but only when the latter gave her a very adamant look. With a sigh, she allowed the assistance, but looked almost ashamed for taking it.

“You lot are too good. You deserve better than being out here and working on these awful streets.”

“Don’t we all,” Wanda chuckled and took hold of her friend’s hand. “Take care, Annie. And don’t spend it all on rum, alright?”

The women promised she wouldn’t before she said her goodbyes and took her leave. You watched her wobble away, hoping that she would get better soon. You had originally offered to walk her back to her lodgings, but she refused and insisted that she would take no more of your time and get there herself. You didn’t like or agree with the idea of course, but there was simply no arguing with her.

Wanda was perturbed with the encounter but said little more about it, other than explaining how she had first met Annie some time ago. She briefly mentioned that she was a friendly, steady-going woman, but she had a fondness for rum and sometimes struggled with avoiding it.

After the encounter, you continued on your way for some time. Between chatting up men who showed interest and keeping a watchful eye on your friends, you did your best to spot any shady-looking characters, but found none. You even bumped into Scott while on your travels and paused to chat with him. He was sitting with a group of friends in the Ten Bells Pub and seemed happy to see you again. You were somewhat thankful that he didn’t ask after services from any of you — saying no to him felt similar to kicking a defenceless puppy.

At 5.30, the three of you regrouped with PC Barnes on the corner of Commercial Street and Whitechapel Road. Each night you had to meet with one of the PCs and inform them of any findings or interesting encounters. It also ensured them that nothing had happened to you while out and about. You weren’t waiting there long before he appeared.

“Evening, ladies,” PC Barnes greeted you upon his arrival. “Are you aware that soliciting is illegal? I am going to need you lot to move it.”

“Sod off, Barnes,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “I am too tired to be dealing with you right now.”

He feigned offence and placed a hand on his chest as though his heart ached with your rash words. “What is it going to take for you to call me Bucky?”

“What the hell is a Bucky?” Wanda asked, causing you all to laugh.

“And who the hell are you?” he asked her with an award-winning smile. “You shouldn’t be out with them.”

“I do not take orders from mutton shunters, so I go wherever I please, Constable.”

Despite the banter, PC Barnes couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. “I think I have my work cut out for me with you lot. But I do need you to come with me to the station. Steve wants a full report of your evening.”

“Can we not do the in the morning?” you asked, already feeling exhaustion setting in.

He shook his head. “Unfortunately not, doll. The Sergeant wants you all to make reports while the details are fresh in your heads. His orders — not mine!”

“He is lucky he is a good looking man who pays well,” Natasha grumbled as PC Barnes led you all towards the police station. “Otherwise I would end this charade right now.”

Barnes chuckled as he walked. “I shall let Stevie know that you think he is handsome.”

“Oh trust me, he is already well aware, Constable.”

Although you had very little issue with walking along the streets at night — you were well used to it and had certainly been through harder times — the company of a policeman wasn’t entirely disconcerting. If anything, it added an extra layer of protection to the group. You noticed that no one said a word to you as he lead you down to the nearby station. Instead, he chatted idly with you all, unfazed by the looks he was receiving due to his company. At one point, he told one particularly bothered man, who insisted on glaring at the with all his might, to ‘sod off’. You were beginning to think that you might like PC Barnes, even if he did do your head in.

Upon arrival at Commercial Street Police Station, you and your friends were eagerly swept into the back offices, passing by the policemen at the front desk who questioned PC Barnes about his company.

“They are with me, Happy,” he stated simply as he ushered you away from their curious eyes. “Is Sgt Rogers about?”

The policeman called Happy gestured behind him. “He’s in the back with Inspector Stark and Chief Inspector Strange.”

“Strange is back?”

“Indeed. He got back from his holidays today and came here as soon as he could.”

“What an unusual last name,” Wanda mused. “Do either of you know the inspectors?”

Natasha shook her head, as did you. “I can’t say that I have ever met them before.”

Though miffed by the news of the Chief Inspector’s arrival, PC Barnes tried to stay positive for your sakes. “Well you are about to now, ladies. Follow me.”

The further into the station you went, the easier it was to hear the arguing going on in one of the back rooms. Soon you arrived at an occupied office which belonged to an Inspector Anthony Edward Stark according to the label on the open door. You had never met the man before, but you had heard a few of your fellow workers say that he was quite the character — confident, flirtatious, charming, sarcastic. These were all qualities you didn’t exactly expect to find in an inspector, but you assumed he must be good at his leadership role if he was the head of the division.

PC Barnes stood in the open doorway, waiting for whatever conversation was happening to die down before announcing his arrival. Overwhelmed with curiosity, you peaked over his broad shoulders and saw two men locked in an intense conversation in front of a desk while Sgt Rogers stood off to the side with his arms folded across his chest.

“I do not care what Fury told you,” one man argued, looking quite perturbed with his colleague. “This is my case and I am in charge. Believe me when I say that we don’t need any assistance from you, Strange.”

The man you assumed to be Chief Inspector Strange appeared indifferent. He was clearly a proud man in the way he held himself and insisted on standing tall as he spoke. He listened intently, not at all bothered by the other man’s visible distaste in his presence. You didn’t recognise him at all, despite his unconventional facial hair and silver tinted locks. “How unfortunate when you must take direct orders from the Chief Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, and it is he who has given me the task of collating all the facts on the case. I would much rather be on my holiday than cleaning up your mess, Stark, but evidently you need me.”

Inspector Stark looked appalled by the choice of words. “Evidently?”

“Well you have two dead dollymops and a murderer who is fond of disembowelment running about. Would you consider the situation under control?”

Despite the situation being laid out before him, Inspector Stark pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “We are understaffed. I am doing what I can with the men I have. Do you think I like the thought of women getting disembowelled on my time?”

“I think you are unwilling to admit you need my help. How do you fit that head of yours into your helmet, I wonder?”

“Look, Sherlock—!”

“That is enough,” Steve cut in, stepping between the men before anything else kicked off. “We are on the same team here. There is no need for arguments!”

“It is very hard to control myself when his face is so punchable,” Inspector Stark grumbled. “He is smugness personified! With terrible facial hair!”

“We have company, Tony,” Steve replied, nodding to the door where James, Natasha, Wanda, and you stood waiting awkwardly.

Inspector Stark turned to the door with a tired expression, which quickly turned to confusion when he noticed you and your friends. “Barnes, I have no idea why you are standing in my office with expensive company, but I do know that you are one lady short of a party.”

“They are here on a different kind of business, Inspector,” Bucky elaborated and stepped inside. He motioned for you and your friends to enter, so you obeyed without argument. “Business of the investigative kind.”

Natasha stepped around him, obviously eager to speak for herself. “What Bocky means to say is—”

“Bucky.”

“Yes, yes, of course. What he means is that we are your new Assistant Detectives, Inspector.”

You noticed the deep furrow in Chief Inspector Strange’s brow as he gave Inspector Stark a very serious side-eye stare.

Stark’s brown eyes wandered over you curiously before he looked at your comrades in a similar manner. “I thought you said you recruited two ladies, Rogers?”

“I did,” Steve reassured him and pointed at Wanda. “You are not supposed to be here.”

“Oh, I recruited myself,” Wanda shrugged, unthreatened by neither their rank or the formal setting. “Do not worry yourselves about it.”

“Steve tends to worry a lot.” Inspector Stark offered you his hand. “Inspector Anthony Edward Stark, but feel free to call me Tony.”

You shook his hand, surprised to find that you sensed nothing bad or unsettling about this man. He seemed quite genuine somehow. “Y/N, nice to meet you, Sir.”

He grimaced at the title. “I insist that you call me Tony. ‘Sir’ makes me feel like an old man who needs to retire.”

You smiled slightly at his tone. “Tony it is then.”

He was certainly everything you would never expect in an Inspector, and you already liked him better for it.

As he introduced himself to Natasha and Wanda and got their names in return, Chief Inspector Strange shook his head and cut across the conversation. “Why are these women claiming to be Assistant Detectives?”

“Because Sarge and Edgar Allen Poe thought we could use the extra woman power, and I agreed. I did not really have much time to argue against it, considering they made the decision before asking for my permission.”

“Edgar Allen Poe?” you muttered, looking at Bucky.

“Loki,” he explained. “Stark is fond of nicknames.”

“This is hardly orthodox,” the Chief Inspector continued, squinting his eyes in frustration. “And it is hardly Dr Laufeyson’s decision to make.”

Natasha let out a sigh. “Sorry, who are you? I did not catch your name when introductions were being made.”

Momentarily insulted by her brash tone, the older man turned to face them. “I am Chief Inspector Stephen Strange and I am in charge of this investigation by the order of Chief Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, Sir Nicholas Fury.”

You looked back at him in amusement, unimpressed by the excessive titles. It meant little to you and it wasn’t about to mean anything to you now. “Oh, fancy.”

“Uh, I think you mean co-charge,” Tony pointed out. “We have co-ownership of this investigation. Somewhat like a married couple.”

“Not by Fury’s orders—”

“Yes, well, this is my division and these men have followed my orders for some time. Look, Strange, I will admit it — even if it might cause my ego to burst at the seams — that we need more numbers to help with this investigation. It is why we have these women in our company. I will take your help if I must, but we need to work together if we are to achieve anything.”

“He’s right, Chief Inspector,” Steve added. “The only way to tackle this is as a team. If we work as such, we can get it done before anymore lives are lost. Arguing is wasting what precious time we have.”

“I love when Steve agrees with me,” Tony said to you, looking somewhat bewildered. “He never usually does and he is exceedingly righteous, so I must be in the right thus time…”

“Fine then,” Strange huffed and held up his hands in defeat. “Have it your way, Stark, but know that I do not like the fact that they will be joining this investigation. I will be having words with Dr Laufeyson about this.”

“We are involved whether you like it or not, Chief Inspector,” Natasha said coldly. “So your approval means very little to us.”

“A bit of respect would not go amiss though,” you added. “As Steve said, we are all on the same team.”

“And what a team we shall make,” Stark said with his arms outstretched. “As long as we catch this bastard soon, I will be happy.” Without much thought, the inspector reached into his vest pocket, taking out a halfpenny, and then dropping it into a jar on his desk that was already half filled with coins. Steve looked somewhat pleased with the gesture.

Strange shook his head. “I shall still be having words with Laufeyson.”

“You mean Edgar Allen Poe?” you asked before looking to Tony for an explanation.

He shrugged in reply. “He’s mopey and reads a lot, alright?”

Before anyone else could get a word in, Happy — the policeman who had been manning the front desk — came bursting in the door.

“Inspector,” he spluttered, out of breath and wide eyed. “A man just came in and claims there has been another murder!”

Whatever hopeful tone that had previously filled the room was extinguished with this unfortunate news. Your stomach tumbled and you looked to your two friends to see their equally horrified expressions.

“Where?” Stark demanded, already pulling on his coat.

“29 Hanbury Street!”

Instantly the room sprung into action.

The men were all pulling on coats and sprinting out the door in no time. Stark was busy ordering them around while Strange got a head start and was already following Happy out the office door. You and your comrades looked on in stunned silence as everyone got to work.

Before he left, Steve urged the three of you to follow him. “Look alive, ladies. We are needed at the scene.”

“Time to go,” you muttered and followed them out into the cold London streets. Just before exiting the building, you caught a quick glance at the man who sounded the alarm — he stood next to Happy, struggling to speak with an ashen face and tired eyes. God only knows what kind of scene he had stumbled upon that early in the morning.

Outside, Tony was quickly owning his role as Inspector. “Rogers, I want you to head to Spitalfields Market now. Wilson is stuck on fixed point duty there. Pick him up and head over to 29 Hanbury Street together. Make sure you check the side streets and alleys in case the suspect is nearby — he might still be close. The rest of you, come with Strange and I directly to the scene. Ladies, we might need you to identify the victim so be prepared.”

You momentarily thanked your past self for choosing to wear flats that evening, as you hadn’t exactly expected to be sprinting through the streets towards what would probably be a crowded murder scene. While the cool air burned your throat as you took swift gulps, your legs ached in protest as your body tried to overcome its exhaustion. Now, with it being shortly after 6.00 am, the sun rose in the distance, colouring the overcast sky in blues and pinks as London came to life again. It was quite a sight, one that would surely contrast with the horrors ahead.

At Hanbury Street, a curious crowd of onlookers had already gathered. Steve and Samuel were nowhere in sight, so Strange and Stark quickly got to forcing their way through the spectators. Bucky followed them next, then you, Natasha, and Wanda coming up the rear. With the policemen already making a path or you, it meant wading your way through the spectators was much more manageable. At least you could refrain from slapping people out of your way.

As you breached the crowd and finally got a good luck at the scene, your eyes rest on the sight before you. A body lay in the garden of number 29, partially against the wooden fencing. Strange and Stark stood over her while Bucky forced the rambunctious crowd back as best as he could with no back up. While you halted nervously in your tracks at the sight of a corpse, Wanda flew over to join the inspectors.

She took one look at the body before she covered her mouth with her hands and let out a desperate gasp. Upon seeing your friend in distress, you and Natasha were quickly at her side.

“It is Annie!” she proclaimed as you joined her. “Y/N, it is Annie! She’s dead!”

You met her shocked eyes with your own before you looked down at the victim. Sure enough, you recognised the red and white neckerchief, now matted with thick, fresh bloodstains. Annie Chapman’s throat had been savagely slit.

“You know her?” Strange asked, eyes darting between you.

“Wanda does,” Natasha explained solemnly, eyes fixed on the dead woman. “Her name is Annie Chapman.”

“We lived in the same lodging house on Dorset Street before I became a resident at the White Swan,” Wanda said, unable to look at her fallen friend any longer. You wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder as Stark asked her for the address of the lodging house. “Crossingham's Lodging House at 35 Dorset Street.”

“You have our condolences, ladies,” Strange said with the first ounce of genuine compassion you had seen from him all morning. “But your assistance is greatly appreciated.”

At that moment, Steve and Samuel came tumbling through the crowd. Seeing that more of his men had arrived, Stark jumped into action once more. “Rogers, I need you to help contain the crowd here — there are way too many people around at the moment. Wilson, I need you to run back to the station to get reinforcements — if this crowd keeps building, we shan’t be able to contain it. Barnes, take Y/N and go fetch Dr Laufeyson. I need him here now.”

“Why me?” you asked, unwilling to leave a visibly distressed Wanda behind.

As Steve and Samuel got to work, Tony turned to you with a sympathetic expression. “It is important that at least one of you ladies familiarises yourself with where Loki resides. You might need to fetch him yourself one day. Trust me, knowing where a doctor lives when you are hunting a murderer could save your life or someone else’s.” He threw a glance at your friends and lowered his voice. “Do not worry — they are in safe hands, I promise you, alright?”

With a sigh you nodded and turned to stand by the waiting Bucky’s side. “Lead the way, Barnes.”

* * *

8th September 1888, 6.15 am.

The calming music of Camille Saint-Saëns rang out through Loki Laufeyson’s residence at 2 Spital Square in Whitechapel. Sleep eluded him yet again, and he found himself staring at his reflection in the steam-covered mirror in his bathroom. He wondered whether he could somehow hide the bags under his eyes after another sleepless night. He supposed that the thin cut on his cheekbone was more obvious than the drowsy eyes, but he most certainly couldn’t cover that detail. Dressed in merely his flannel drawers, he tried to tame his wet and messy hair so that he looked somewhat presentable for the day ahead. Even if any of his colleagues or patients did notice how tired he looked, he doubted any of them would press him too much. He was quite popular amongst his patients though, but he put that down to his ability to charm them with honeyed words and a flashy smile.

As long as no one asked too much he should be able to ignore their concerns.

As he splashed water on to his face in an attempt to wash away his groggy appearance, a loud knocking sounded from his front door. With a glance over his shoulder, he noted it to be too early for visitors.

I am not due in work until 7… What in the bloody hell—?

“Shit,” he said and quickly hurried to his bedroom to make himself decent and shut off the music box. As he reefed on a pair of trousers, the knocking persisted downstairs.

He cursed again as the muffled voice of PC Barnes came through the door. “Loki? It’s me, Bucky! Open the bloody door!”

With a growl, Loki stumbled down the stairs with only one arm through his shirt sleeves. With his free arm he unlocked the door and swung it open. He had been expecting the constable, he was not prepared to see Miss Y/L/N also standing on his doorstep.

“Bad time?” PC Barnes teased, noting his state of undress.

“What do you think?” Loki snapped, pushing his hair off his face.

Upon pushing away the hair, he inadvertently revealed the fresh cut on his cheek, and PC Barnes was quick to frown. “What happened to you?”

“Some bludger tried to rob me,” he replied gruffly. “So I made sure all he got was a black eye.”

“You can’t seem to stay out of mischief, can you?” It seemed that Barnes was eager to annoy him further, even with his bruised face. “And you know better than to dress so suggestively in front of a lady.”

“It is nothing I have not seen before,” she assured him, obviously trying her best to look at his face rather than his bare chest and abdomen. “Have you forgotten my line of work?”

He wasn’t exactly sure why, but Loki felt a small sense of pride knowing that he had such an effect on her, especially considering she was no prude or stranger to nudity. He supposed that being ogled by a beautiful woman was something to be pleased about, and he put his reaction down to that observation alone.

“Is it another one?” Loki asked them, looking between the pair as he shrugged his shirt on and began to button it up.

James nodded. “Over on Hanbury Street. Stark sent us to pick you up and bring you over.

With a heavy sigh, the doctor opened his front door a little wider. “Come inside while I gather my things. I will only be a moment.”

With the constable and the street-walker now waiting anxiously in his hallway, Loki quickly ran up the stairs again and gathered his equipment in a rush, all while preparing himself for another grisly scene and body to investigate. Before he joined them downstairs, he stood in front of his bathroom mirror again, now fully dressed and ready to go. He looked rough, that was for sure. He hoped that Inspector Stark would not press him about his appearance and would simply let him do his job without being disturbed.

I suppose at least I can do so in the company of a pretty woman, he thought and took a deep breath before joining said woman and the constable once more. That is, at least, a small consolation.

Taglist: @heysliver @lisalisa007 @ava-royal @eloisemacguffin @tvdplusriverdale @trickster-grrrl @mellow-mischief @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77

[shireness-says]

The Man Behind Glass

Summary: When Emma Swan moved to Storybrooke, Maine, she never imagined she’d end up living out a real-life ghost story. But then again, does anyone really expect to find a cursed mirror, or the 300-year-old pirate trapped inside? Rated T. ~12.5K. Also on AO3.

A/N: I’m back, with my second contribution to @cssns! @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 is responsible for that fantastic gif above - go tell her how awesome she is, because seriously, she’s the best (if its not working, that’s my fault, not hers). As always, thanks to my amazing beta, @snidgetsafan. She’s also the best. Additional thanks to @branlovesouat and @kymbersmith-90, who were 100% responsible for the brainstorming on the CSSNS discord that led to this fic, and helped me get it off the ground.

Tagging folks that were interested or I think would like this: @kmomof4, @hollyethecurious, @winterbaby89, @courtorderedcake, @aerica13, @teamhook, @searchingwardrobes, @katie-dub, @snowbellewells, @wingedlioness

Enjoy!

“Well, kid,” Emma Swan says, apprehension coloring her voice, “looks like this is the place.”

The house isn’t much to look at, to say the least. Truthfully, most of this little town isn’t much to look at. But when Mary Margaret Nolan, an old friend from college, had told Emma about the opening for a counselor at her elementary school, she had jumped at the chance to finally move Henry out of the city and into a place where they can have something resembling a support system. The house Emma purchased is older, shabby-looking, but is in surprisingly good condition inside, albeit dusty and outdated. The previous owner had died some months before, leaving her assets to the town trust. Having no real need for a shabby Queen Anne home, the town had been anxious to sell it, and Emma had snapped it up at a bargain price, some of the late owner’s furnishings included. A lot of it’s probably going to end up carted off to the nearest thrift store in the back of David Nolan’s truck, but Emma’s hopeful that there might be a few pieces they can use. The more she can save on furniture, the better.

At the time of purchase, it seemed like there were almost no downsides - furnished, affordable, with a nice sized yard for Henry to run around in - but looking now at the crooked fence and peeling paint, Emma’s a lot more nervous. God, what have I gotten myself into? she wonders with rising panic. No one has ever accused Emma of being handy, and by the looks of things, she may have quite a few projects on her hands.

It does help that Henry is clearly thrilled by the new house, practically skipping up the front walk with his backpack and all the energy a five-year-old can muster.

“This house is so cool, Mom!” he exclaims excitedly, bringing a smile to Emma’s face despite all her worries. “Can we put a play castle in the backyard? Can my room be in the tower? Oh! Do you think it’s haunted?” Frankly, Henry seems most excited about the last possibility, which Emma will take the time to be worried about later when her schedule is more open.

“Do you want this place to be haunted, kid?” she asks, a bemused smile gracing her face.

“I don’t know, I think it’d be kind of cool,” Henry grins right back. “Didn’t you say the person who lived here was dead?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think she died in the house, Henry. Isn’t that some sort of prerequisite for a haunting?” In fact, Emma knows that the house has been empty for the past year or more, the previous owner having relocated to a care home. Henry doesn’t really need to know that though.

“I don’t know,” Henry shrugs. “We should definitely pay attention, though. Ghosts in stories always get stirred up when something in their home gets changed.”

“Alright, kid, we’ll keep our eyes and ears open,” Emma replies, trying not to chuckle at Henry’s fanciful suppositions. “Are you ready to go check out our new house? Maybe stake your claim on a room?”

Henry’s face lights up with fresh excitement at the notion, dashing up the porch steps as fast as his legs can take him, leaving his mother behind to shake her head in fond exasperation. With a final look at the shabby outside, Emma continues her way up the walk, ready to dive headfirst into this latest adventure.

———

They don’t find the mirror right away. That comes later.

The inside of the house is similarly aged and faded, but still in good condition; it just needs a thorough cleaning and some paint. Well, a ton of paint. Preferably not in colors picked out by a 5-year-old, or they’ll have a neon technicolored home.

They start with the cleaning, although even that is done in bursts. There’s a series of staff meetings ramping up to the school year that Emma’s required to go to, and executing a deep scrub of the sizable house was always destined to be a difficult undertaking with an energetic young child to watch and keep entertained.

Thankfully, though progress is slow, Emma doesn’t have to do it all herself. Mary Margaret has been an enormous help with all her Pinterest cleaning techniques, as well as conscripting her husband into tidying the yard and performing minor repairs. In addition, Emma had somehow hit it off with the school librarian, Belle, and the elegant brunette had graciously offered to lend another set of hands. Between the four of them, the layers of dirt and grime are slowly being peeled away to reveal what will be a very stately-looking house, if given enough love and hard work.

They’re tackling one of the unused guest rooms when Emma removes the dropcloth from an object propped against the wall, revealing a mirror with an ornate faux-gilt frame. The golden paint is flaking a bit, but the intricate carving is still evident on what must have been a beautiful piece in its time. Soon enough, Belle joins her at the mirror, a frown gracing her typically smiling face.

“I know, looks a little out of place in the middle of all this junk,” Emma says, but Belle just shakes her head.

“No, it’s not that,” she murmurs almost absentmindedly before correcting herself. “Well, yes, it does look out of place. But I could have sworn I’ve seen it before. Perhaps in a book?”

They stand for a moment longer, just contemplating this unexpected antique, before Emma turns back to the rest of the room. “Well, let me know if you figure it out,” she says to Belle before turning to a dresser with a fresh dustrag.

And that’s the end of that.

———

Except it’s not the end of that, because Belle shows up a week later in a flurry of excitement over some discovery she’s made.

“I had seen it before!” she proclaims excitedly, dropping a hefty tome onto Emma’s nice clean(ish) kitchen table. Legends of Coastal Maine, the cover announces in an intricate, curling font, and Emma finds her interest piqued despite her better judgement. Taking a quick peek to make sure Henry is still absorbed with his legos in the living room, Emma refocuses her attention on the pages just as Belle finds what she’s looking for.

“The legend of Killian Jones,” Belle reads off, like the title alone will explain everything. When Emma just stares back at her blankly, Belle finally continues. “It’s like Maine’s version of Bloody Mary. Legend has it that there’s a mirror - one that looks almost exactly like the one we found in your spare room, I might add - and if you stand in front of it and say his name three times, he’ll appear in the mirror.” Belle turns the book around and pushes it towards Emma so that she can see the illustration more clearly. Sure enough, the pencil drawing looks uncannily like the mirror Emma currently has propped on a table at the end of a hallway as a placeholder until she finds something more to her taste.

“So what’s his deal?” Emma asks, pushing the book back after examining its contents. “I know Bloody Mary is supposed to kill you, and so are a bunch of ghosts if you run across them. Is it the same thing with this… Jones guy?”

Belle hums speculatively, tracing her finger back down the page as she searches for the correct information. “There’s not really a clear answer on that,” she hedges after a minute’s reading. “The stories are a bit split. Some say he’s a specter of vengeance - so I assume that’s the violence or murder you were thinking of - but there’s just as many claims that he’s just a lonely shade. I suspect that the verdict would vary from telling to telling.”

“Huh.” Emma stares at the book in silence for a few minutes longer, arms crossed, before making up her mind. “I guess there’s only one thing to do, isn’t there?”

“What’s that?”

“Well test it out, of course.” And grabbing the book, Emma marches for the stairs to test the theory, Belle nervously trailing behind her.

“I don’t know that this is a good idea, Emma…” the librarian cautions. “The whole thing gives me the creeps.” Perhaps another person might have been put off the enterprise by Belle’s words, but Emma’s not one of them. She’s already made up her mind; they’re going to try this, either prove or disprove the myth, and that’s final. Personally, Emma doesn’t think anything will happen; the whole thing seems a little far-fetched, and anyways, Emma’s attempts at playing Bloody Mary as a kid never turned into anything. But she’s always been a bold type, willing to live on the edge a little, and even if nothing happens, it’ll be worth the short adrenaline rush. Plus, Belle seems nervous about the very idea that Emma might have a haunted mirror - it’d be nice to prove to her that the mirror is safe to walk past.

Striding up to the glass, Emma looks back at her companion for clarification. “So, what do I have to do? Say the name? Pace back and forth, Room of Requirement-style? What?”

“Just say his name three times,” Belle says hesitantly. “But really, Emma, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“It’ll be fine, Belle. See?” Turning back to the mirror, Emma quickly expels the words before her friend can make any more attempts to stop her.

“Killian Jones. Killian Jones. Killian Jones.”

A gust of cold air unexpectedly trails through the room, and it almost creeps Emma out, but the mirror remains stubbornly empty of anything but their own reflections. After waiting a minute longer without any ghostly action, Emma turns triumphantly back to Belle, who looks almost disappointed in the outcome despite her earlier nerves.

“See? Nothing more than a silly story.”

And once again, that should be the end of it.

———

Of course, it’s not the end of the matter - something Emma comes to find out in the worst possible way.

It’s a quiet evening in the Swan household, the house’s silence only broken by the faint noises of its inhabitants preparing for bed. Henry’s already been sent off to put on his pajamas and brush his teeth, though Emma knows she’ll need to double check the latter. In the meantime, Emma’s halfway through her own routine, rinsing off her face in the bathroom sink in an old college t-shirt and boxers. Faintly, she thinks she hears something in the hallway, but easily writes it off; if it’s not Henry, padding to his room or the bathroom, it’s probably just one of the old house noises she’s slowly growing used to.

That is, until she hears the scream.

It’s unmistakably Henry, and Emma knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that his shriek was one of terror. Blood running cold in her veins, she runs out to the hallway, not even stopping to grab a makeshift weapon in her haste to find her son, protect her son, keep him safe at all costs. Practically skidding into the hall, she expects to see intruders, or wild animals, or anything else to explain her brave boy’s scream, only to find Henry standing stock still in front of the hall mirror.

Emma almost relaxes, thinking that Henry was only startled by his reflection, before noticing:

There’s a man facing her son in the mirror.

He doesn’t look particularly threatening at first glance, squatting with his arms resting on his knees, but Emma’s not taking any chances. Moving on instinct, she steps between Henry and the creature in the mirror.

“Stay the hell away from my son!” she growls, herding Henry behind her.

Curiously enough, the man, ghost, thing, huffs a sigh, dropping his head as if in resignation. “As you wish,” she thinks she hears him mutter.

“Henry, go to your room and stay there until I say it’s ok,” Emma tells her son in as calm a voice as she can muster. As Henry hesitates, peering around her legs to get a better look at the thing in the mirror, her voice gets harder. “Henry, now. Please go to your room and close the door.”

As Henry finally scurries away, the ghost chimes in again. “I don’t mean any harm, you know,” he observes.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Emma snaps. “How dare you terrify my son. How dare you! What the fuck even are you? What are you doing in my house?” Halfway through her reply, Emma realizes she’s moving closer to the glass, finger pointed accusingly, but can’t bring herself to care. It’s in defense of her kid; she’ll do whatever she has to.

It doesn’t seem to have any effect on the mirror-man, though, as he stands to sweep into an old-fashioned bow. Passingly, Emma notices his clothes - a long leather duster, breeches, and a gauzy shirt, like something out of a different time. “Killian Jones, at your service, milady.”

“What, like the legend?”

Killian Jones, whatever he is, raises an inquisitive eyebrow. “Ah, so you have heard of me, then.”

“You’re not real,” Emma insists. “Belle and I tried it earlier on the mirror. Nothing. It’s just a stupid urban legend.”

“Ah, but did you really believe I was real?” Jones asks. “That’s an important part, you know - I don’t appear for people who doubt I exist. Your son, on the other hand, seems to have belief in spades, thus -” he spreads his arms wide - “my presence here before you.”

“Yeah, well, take your presence somewhere else,” Emma retorts, “or I’ll… I’ll smash the mirror!”

“You’re welcome to try,” he smiles ruefully. “But as you wish. My apologies for causing such a disturbance and startling your boy.” And with a final dramatic twirl of the hand, he’s gone.

After waiting a minute to make sure Jones doesn’t reappear, Emma rushes to Henry’s room, where the boy himself is waiting on his bed with tears in his eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong, kid?” Emma asks, panic again rising in her throat. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” So help her, if her kid is hurt she’ll find a way to hurt Jones, mirror be damned.

“I’m sorry, Mama, I didn’t mean to,” Henry cuts in tearfully. “I just heard you and Miss Belle talking, and I wanted to try and… I didn’t mean to!”

“It’s ok, Henry,” she soothes, gathering his small body in her arms and rocking him back and forth. “I don’t blame you for anything, kid. I’m going to protect you from the scary man, ok? You don’t have to worry about anything.”

“I don’t think he was scary,” Henry mumbles in a minor protest, eliciting a confused hum from his mother. “I screamed because I didn’t think it would work, but he wasn’t scary. I think I scared him, though.”

“Sure, Henry,” Emma placates. Henry, thankfully, is winding down, worn out by the heightened emotions of the past half hour, and doesn’t argue the point further. Thankfully, he’s already in his pajamas, making it easy for Emma to transfer him back onto the mattress and securely tuck him in. “Sleep well, kiddo.”

Emma stays for a few moments longer in the doorway, watching her son slip off into dreamland, before softly closing the door and hurrying back down the hall. The mirror, she’s careful to check, is perfectly blank once again - just an ordinary decorative piece. Even in its blank state, Emma’s reluctant to get any closer to it than she has to in the dark, the whole thing freaking her out.

Collapsing onto her bed, cell phone in hand, she quickly dials, listening to the grating ring before a groggy voice picks up.

“Belle? Something weird happened. Do you think you could come over tomorrow?”

———

The next time she faces the mirror and any… ghosts it may contain, they’re prepared.

Or at least, they think they are, because Killian Jones snorts in skeptical amusement as soon as he sees Emma and Belle’s supplies, causing the latter to jump in surprised fear.

“Is that holy water?” he asks, almost scornfully. “Put that away ladies, you’ll just get the glass wet. And trust a man trapped in a mirror - there’s nothing more annoying than streaked glass.”

(It’s a little bit disappointing to hear, since Emma had to beg for some from the local Catholic Church, but something about his tone leaves her inclined to believe him.)

“That crucifix also won’t do anything, darling,” he nods towards Belle. “This isn’t an exorcism; I’m not a demon. And before you even try, Milady the Blonde, the funny thing about smashing my mirror is that it just reappears elsewhere. Same with burning, or any other destruction you want to try. Odd little side effect of a curse.”

“So you are a man, then?” Emma cuts in, stopping his little ramble. “Not some ghost or demon or… something?”

“I believe we’ve already covered that, but yes, I am a man. If I’m ever freed from my reflective prison, I’d be more than happy to show you exactly how much of a man I am,” he ends with a flirtatious smile.

“Yeah, that’s enough of that,” Emma deadpans. “Here’s what’s going to happen - you’re going to leave my family the fuck alone, and I’m getting rid of your mirror as soon as possible. Capiche?”

“I don’t suppose you’d rather help me escape this prison?” he asks hopefully, receiving only an unamused look from Emma in return. “Aye, I know that was a long shot. Alright, Milady, I’ll behave. No contact.”

“Great. Then… begone. Or however you’re sent away.”

“As you wish.” And once again, he executes an elaborate bow and accompanying hand gesture, and the mirror is just a mirror again.

After spending a last moment watching the mirror for any movement, Emma turns back to Belle, jerking a thumb back downstairs. “I’ll go call David.”

“I’ll get a sheet to cover the frame.”

———

That should be the end of it. David will be over tomorrow afternoon to pick up the mirror and drop it off as a donation to the local secondhand store, and all traces of the supernatural will be out of Emma Swan’s house.

But of course, life isn’t as she plans, and the matter isn’t closed like she expects, because Emma comes back into the house after dealing with some minor yard work to hear Henry chattering away upstairs. That’s not really abnormal; Henry is an imaginative child, and since he’s learned to read, he’s taken to reading picture books out loud to his stuffed animals. But when she climbs the stairs to peek in on him, he’s not in his room, but in the hallway.

In the hallway, reading to Killian Jones’ reflection.

“I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues…” Henry recites from his copy of The Lorax, and Emma can’t help but take a moment to be proud of how confidently her son reads, despite the current circumstances.

“Of course they don’t have tongues, what a preposterous idea,” Jones interrupts, brows furrowed in a way that might almost be cute if Emma wasn’t so steamed to see him at all. “And what the bloody hell is a truffula tree, anyways?”

“Hey!” Emma snaps, causing two dark heads to snap up guiltily to meet her eyes. “What is going on here?”

“Mom…” Henry starts, but Emma quickly cuts him off to turn her anger on Jones. “I thought I told you specifically to stay away from my son!”

“It’s not his fault, Mom!” Henry quickly cuts in. “I called him, he didn’t show up on his own.”

“Yeah, well, he should have ignored it. Or left immediately.”

“I do have to answer when called by a believer, love,” Jones reasons unhelpfully. “I likely should have departed immediately, but your boy was so excited to show me his book, made-up words and all, and I just…” He cuts off suddenly, a look on his face that Emma can’t quite place.

“He’s lonely, Mom,” Henry supplies, before stubbornly adding, “Aren’t you always telling me to make sure everyone’s included?”

“I meant the kids at school, Henry,” Emma tries to protest, but her big-hearted kid is having none of it.

“You never said that,” he insists. “Well, Killian is lonely, and I’m making sure he’s included.”

Looking at the man in question, Emma will admit that it’s hard to call him a threat. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, knees pressing against the glass in an effort to get as close as possible, Emma can’t find any trace of that confident, almost threatening swagger and attitude she’d spotted so easily in their previous interactions. He almost looks like he could be a visitor to Henry’s kindergarten show-and-tell, albeit an unusually dressed one. Even beyond the posture, there’s a look on his face that Emma can only think of as vulnerable - a small amount of hope in his eyes, mostly clouded by shame, hope for… something. Emma’s not sure what. Perhaps it’s like Henry says - he’s just lonely, and hopeful they won’t send him away.

Regardless, Emma has always been a sucker for her son’s puppy eyes, and today is no exception. “Fine,” she grumbles. “But step one foot out of line, and I’m finding a way to destroy this mirror, I don’t care what you say.”

“I swear, love, pirate’s honor,” Jones replies, executing a crossing motion over his heart with a grin on his face.

“Choose a different oath. You’re not helping your case.”

“I promise, Emma,” he utters solemnly. “You’ve nothing to fear from me for your boy.” The slight panic at the moniker must show on her face, as he hurries to clarify his previous words. “Henry made the introductions earlier.”

That makes more sense. Henry’s always been a sociable kid - lord only knows where he got that - and likely was more than happy to tell Jones absolutely everything that came to his mind.

“Fine,” she says shortly, still somewhat put out by this turn of events. “I’ve got to go cancel on David. Start thinking about what you want for dinner, kid.”

“Thanks, Mom!” Henry pipes, suddenly cheerful again, before turning back to the mirror, back to the glass so his new friend can see all the pictures. Walking away, Emma can hear their conversation, quickly receding.

“Do you remember what part we were at?”

“You were telling me about how the trees don’t have tongues, lad,” Jones replies, more gently and patiently than Emma would have given him credit for. Acting like that, she really doesn’t have any excuse to kick him out, one way or another.

For the time being, it looks like the legendary Killian Jones is here to stay.

———

Emma hates to admit it, but Killian Jones isn’t so bad. Sure, it’s still weird that they’ve got a resident ghost-person-thing, but Henry’s delighted to have a friend who’s always there to talk to, and Henry’s happiness outweighs a lot. Eventually, the mirror is moved to the living room, where Henry won’t have to sit on the hardwood all the time and Emma can keep an eye on him better. It feels a little bit like encouraging the whole thing, but her kid’s comfort is paramount, so the mirror is lugged down the stairs, where Henry is left to try and explain to Killian how the television works.

Jones, in return, seems thrilled that someone wants to talk to him, though there’s still a lingering sadness evident when Emma tells them it’s time to wrap up. Killian is a bit of a puzzle, Emma’s finding; in those first ill-fated conversations, he made it clear that he was only in the mirror because of a curse, but Emma can’t truly figure out why. From his interactions with her son, she doesn’t think he was cursed for being bad, but his more rakish interactions with Emma lead her to believe it probably wasn’t for being a paragon of virtue either.

When Emma finally bites the bullet and asks, he’s quick and willing enough to reply, albeit in a sarcastic tone. “Well, you see, when a man loves a witch not very much at all…” he intones, smirking at Emma’s unimpressed look. “I’m told this is an appropriate punishment for a man who doesn’t care about anyone or anything beyond his own nose. I probably should just be glad that she didn’t follow through on some of her comments about my lack of heart - I suspect that would have been rather more… fatal.”

Despite his cavalier tone, it’s difficult to hear his words and reconcile them with the man she’s coming to know. Of course, there was a bit of a rough start - Emma was maybe a little suspicious of the man who’d gone down in legend as a spirit of vengeance, so sue her - but he’s more gentle and patient with Henry than she ever would have thought, and that carries a lot of weight in her book. He’s certainly not the uncaring, heartless man he was supposedly cursed for being, however many years ago.

“It was warranted, for certain,” he admits quietly, traces of shame coloring his voice.

“I’m sure that can’t be true,” Emma tries to excuse, but Killian just waves her words away.

“No, I assure you, it was,” he says. “I was on a quest to avenge my brother’s death, and truly couldn’t see beyond that. It was all-encompassing. We’d stop in various ports for ale and supplies and women, but I was always moving forward, trying to exact revenge against the British Navy for taking him from me.” He sighs, suddenly sad. “Being trapped, isolated from everyone really changes your perspective on such matters. Avenging him seemed like the most important thing in the world at that time, you know? But looking back, now when it is far too late for me to accomplish what I set out to do… I think he would have been rather disappointed that I stopped living my own life.” With a sad smile and rather morose chuckle, he concludes on an almost self-deprecating note, “It seems rather ridiculous that it took such extreme measures for me to realize that, doesn’t it?”

There’s no real good answer to that, so Emma just offers a sympathetic smile. “Did you ever try to get out? Break the curse?”

“And how do you propose I do that?” he asks with impatience. “I promise you, I’ve tried just about everything. Probably bruised some ribs those first few days by repeatedly throwing myself against the glass. This mirror has been smashed no less than six times by men and women on your side, and yet I’m still here. After 250 years, I don’t have much hope of ever being free of these confines.”

“Well, that’s optimistic,” Emma comments drily. “Really? No lingering hope?”

“None worth dwelling on.”

Maybe Henry and his eternal fountain of hope and belief has finally rubbed off on Emma, but she struggles to accept such a bleak fate for the man who’s unexpectedly found his way into their lives. He’s certainly not a perfect man - from the sounds of it, he believes himself to barely be a good one - but it hurts something inside her to hear the way he’s just… acceptant of the idea that he’ll be trapped forever.

“Well, I don’t believe that,” she declares decisively. “And if we ask Henry, he’ll just say the same thing. You don’t want to upset my kid, do you?”

That finally coaxes a small smile back on his face. “No, I most certainly would not.”

And that’s that.

———

Belle may be a little nervous about meeting Killian Jones face-to-face again, but Emma knows that her friend can’t resist a good research project, and sure enough, her curiosity overpowers her hesitancy.

“I thought we’d go back to the original legend,” Belle explains, dropping far too many books of varying thickness and age onto Emma’s nice clean coffee table, “so I went and dug up all the books I could find that even mention it. Plus a handful on historic witchcraft. There’s another handful I requested through interlibrary loan and am expecting next week, but this should be more than enough to get us started.”

It’s an understatement, to say the least. Glancing over to the mirror, Emma can see that Killian is wide-eyed and looking vaguely overwhelmed, a feeling that she echoes, frankly. Belle French doesn’t do anything by halves, Emma’s learned in the weeks of their friendship, and this research project is obviously no exception.

“If you’re ready, this one looked particularly promising,” Belle continues, handing Emma a hefty volume, “and I’ll work my way through some of the less likely candidates, rule them out. Ok? Great!”

Meeting Killian’s eye, he offers a shrug, which Emma takes to mean as there’s no real point arguing - something Emma already unfortunately knows to be the case. Faced with the outcome of her own planning, and with a new unstoppable researching force in the form of a soft-spoken brunette, Emma stifles the groan of consternation bubbling in her throat and settles in to read in her favorite armchair, Killian over her shoulder attempting the same.

It’s slow going, and the whole while Emma is reminded of exactly how little she enjoyed writing research papers while in school. It doesn’t help that, while they’re armed with a specific question that needs answering, most of the books are either hopelessly vague or filled with wildly incorrect information. Killian, in particular, is put out by the repeated accusation that he’s a vengeful and murderous spirit, the furrow in his brow growing deeper with each new source and his outraged huffing becoming louder and louder.

After a particularly enthusiastic exhalation, Emma can’t help but cut in, jerking her head to the side to meet his eyes. “Jeez, you sound like you’re trying to blow the house in back there,” she grumbles, only half jokingly.

“Well you’d be upset too, reading this drivel about yourself. I’ll have you know that even if I could somehow break free of this mirror, I’d never take my anger out on any but the woman who deserves it. And she’s long dead. Vengeful, my arse,” he snorts, before continuing petulantly, “And it doesn’t even make sense, saying that my reactions could blow an entire house down. Preposterous.”

“It’s a reference, there’s a fairy tale - you know what, never mind,” Emma replies, cutting herself off. She’s not particularly in the mood today to explain “The Three Little Pigs” to a 300-year-old pirate. “It’s been, literally, hundreds of years since you were cursed. The story is going to get a little messed up over time, like a bad game of Telephone.” As his blank, confused stare makes a reappearance, Emma impatiently waves him off. “I’ll explain it later. I’m just saying, I hear you with the frustration and the dramatic huffing, but it’s not helpful, and driving me nuts to boot. Knock it off.”

“Sorry,” Killian mutters in a tone that only sounds half sincere, his eternally proper manners deserting him in his frustration. It’s a little refreshing, if Emma’s being honest - the attitude, despite being annoying, makes him seem less like a bizarre fairy tale or ghost story, and more like an actual man - albeit one trapped in a fantastical situation.

“If you two are done arguing,” Belle cuts in, her stern teacher voice on full display and causing both culprits to look over sheepishly, “I think I found the best rendition yet.”

“Well, let’s have it then, lass,” Killian prods, some of his previous roguish face back in place.

“The story in this one hews pretty close to what you’ve told us - that you got cursed for thinking only about yourself and your own problems, and not acknowledging that there are other people in the world that have feelings. But it goes on to say that you’ll remain cursed in the mirror until you ‘rediscover the missing piece of your soul.’”

It’s a cryptic answer, to say the least, and both Emma and Killian look at Belle expectantly, waiting for more information - or even better, an explanation. When none is forthcoming, Emma snaps, “And?”

“And that’s it, unfortunately,” Belle replies apologetically. “I’ll keep looking though. That’s more than we had before!” The last sentence is said with a bright note in her voice, clearly supposed to remind them of their meager progress as a positive thing, but neither member of her audience is much affected.

“Great,” Killian replies drolly. “That illuminates the whole thing.”

As Belle deflates at his words, Emma tosses Killian a dirty look, eyes hard with disapproval, and he at least has the decency to look guilty. “Sorry,” he mumbles, for the second time in as many minutes.

“That’s great progress, Belle,” Emma jumps to reassure. “It gives us something to go on, at least.”

“I’ll keep looking,” Belle says as if in excuse, “but if nothing else, it’s a jumping off point.”  As she speaks, she starts gathering up the books, clearly making as if to leave. “I’ve go to get going, but we’ll meet up later?” The last part may not be phrased as a question, but Belle makes it seem as such with a polite tone to her voice, even if Emma does know that their research continuing is a foregone conclusion.

“Yeah, same time next week, if that works for you,” Emma replies, moving with Belle away from the living room and back towards the front door.

“Perfect,” the other woman beams. “I’ll see you then!”

And then the house is once again occupied just by the Swans and their ghost.

Working her way back to the living room, Emma can’t help but offer a sarcastic smirk to the man behind the glass. “So, any ideas about what the ‘missing piece of your soul’ might be?”

“Not a single clue,” he smirks right back.

Even if they are facing an unknown and confusing path to regaining Killian’s freedom, Emma can’t help but revel in their newfound comradery. Initial mistrust and periodic arguments aside, she thinks he just might be a friend - or at least as much of one as a mythical pirate can be. And Emma Swan will do anything for her friends.

They’re going to figure this out.

———

Emma does mean to sit down with Killian in the week following to try and talk through with him what this lost thing might be, but it seems that making those plans was just tempting fate. Unexpectedly, Emma’s faced with a much more stressful week than she had planned - an incident with one of her students leaves her with plenty of paperwork and stress, the first snowfall of the year shows that maybe the old house’s heating system isn’t working quite as well as it should, and to top it all off, Henry comes down with the flu.

Emma always hates to see her happy-go-lucky kid feeling so under the weather, but it’s not her first rodeo. She knows the dance that goes into taking care of a sick kid, knows that he’ll come out of this just fine. Killian, on the other hand, is more concerned, especially when Emma maneuvers the half-asleep Henry onto the couch downstairs.

“He’ll be fine,” Emma tries to reassure at the sight of those furrowed brows. “It’s just the flu. He’s an awful patient, though - keeps trying to hop out of bed and go back to playing with all his toys - so I thought maybe you could keep him distracted enough to stay tucked into the couch when he wakes up.”

Killian heaves a heavy sigh, and Emma thinks she can see his relief at having a useful job to do through his worry. With Henry resting under Killian’s watchful eye, Emma’s able to head back to the kitchen to attempt to clean up the ever-present mess occupying the counter space around her sink.

An hour and a half later, fully settled into her paperwork with her glasses perched on the end of her nose, Emma is startled to suddenly hear Killian’s low and smooth voice trailing back into the kitchen. Assuming Henry must be awake, Emma goes to heat up a can of soup. Sure enough, as she brings the steaming bowl and TV tray back into the living room, Henry is wide awake, though still tucked into his blankets and apparently enthralled by whatever tales Killian is telling.

“...and the water was the most stunning shade, blues mixed with greens and silvers,” he’s saying - an apparently child-friendly tale, Emma is relieved to hear - before stopping abruptly when he spots Emma standing in the doorway. “I think your mother is here with some broth, lad,” he says lightly, nodding in her direction as Henry squirms on the couch to see her more fully. “Why don’t you have a spot to eat, and then we can maybe watch one of your moving pictures?”

“How’re you feeling, bud?” Emma asks, moving to place the tray over her son’s legs before mouthing a thank you in Killian’s direction. “Any better?”

“A bit,” Henry shrugs. “Killian was telling me about all the places he’s seen!”

“Was he now? Well I’ll have to ask for the recap later. Can you have a bit of chicken noodle soup for me? It’ll make you feel better, I think.”

As Henry digs into the soup, Killian catches her attention again. “He slept for about an hour,” he tells her softly.

“Thanks, Killian. I appreciate you looking after him.”

“Any time, Swan.”

———

The anticipated meeting and knowledge swap with Belle gets rescheduled due to Henry’s illness and recovery, and with it goes Emma’s intention to sit down with Killian and attempt to brainstorm with him what the thing they’re looking for might be. It’s not that she decides it’s unimportant, or forgets, she just… gets distracted by the multitude of other things in her life. And maybe forgets, just a little. So sue her.

Killian, however, seems to have done that brainstorming on his own, as he’s already ready with a suggestion by the time the three of them finally sit down to talk and search through even more books.

“I was thinking about our previous discovery over the past days,” he says, slowly and hesitantly, “and I had a thought about what we may be searching for.” The words are uncharacteristically uncertain, coming from the cocky pirate, leaving Emma mildly concerned - both at the prospect of what he’s about to suggest, and for the man himself.

“That’s great!” Belle replies warmly, tangibly setting the entire room more at ease with her cheerful and encouraging demeanor. “Any ideas would be helpful.”

“I don’t know if it’s right,” he cautions, and Emma starts to understand his hesitance. He’s afraid - not of their reactions, but of his own. It’s something she probably should have recognized from looking in the mirror - no joke intended - as a fear she’s seen so often in her own face: a fear of raising her hopes too high, only to be inevitably disappointed. If what Killian thinks is correct, it could set him free from hundreds of years of imprisonment, a glorious prospect; if not, he’s still back in the same situation, but with a fresh pain born of believing, even for the slightest of moments, that a brighter existence was within his grasp.

He underestimates her though, because even if this fails, Emma won’t be deterred - won’t stop trying to find a way until he actually is freed. It’s what Henry would want.

(It’s what she wants too, she’s coming to admit to herself.)

“Tell us,” she prods gently, wearing the same smile she uses to set Henry at ease when he’s nervous about admitting to something, especially when it’s something he shouldn’t have done in the first place. Endearingly, it has the same effect on the 300 year old pirate, the tension in his shoulders visibly relaxing as he finally begins talking.

“You both know I was a pirate,” he starts, waiting to see Emma and Belle nod an affirmative before continuing. “Well, for a pirate - or any man of the sea - a ship is more than just some cobbled together pieces of wood, more than just a convenient way to get around. It’s… it’s everything. His home, his livelihood…” pausing for dramatic effect, he focuses his gaze on Emma before solemnly concluding, “Some might even call it a piece of his soul.”

“And you think your ship is the missing piece,” Belle finishes, knowingly. It seems to Emma that Killian is leaving something out, but brushes the thought aside. It’s not really any of her business.

Killian nods in response. “Her name was the Jolly Roger, and even though she was smaller than many of the ships other captains commanded, I thought she was beautiful from the moment I first set eyes on her, with her elegant lines built for speed,” he remembers wistfully. Quickly, though, his soft smile collapses in on itself to something more sorrowful. “Even if that is the mysterious piece we’re searching for, however, I doubt it will be of any use. It’s been so long, I’d be surprised if the old girl is even still in existence…”

“Hey, it’s something to start with,” Emma interrupts, cutting off his train of doubt. “That’s the least we can do, right? Try and follow that lead, see where it goes?”

“I suppose so,” Killian concedes, seemingly reluctantly, but Emma has spent far too much time in his company, and can see the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“I’ll pull any information I can find about your ship and piracy in this area this week,” Belle says, jotting down the information on a yellow post-it with a weird smile on her face. Emma can’t quite place it - it’s more than an uncomplicated happiness, but not quite smug. Emma almost wants to call it a knowing smile, though knowing what, she has no idea. Before she gets a chance to ask, however, Belle is already straightening and briskly clapping her hands together in a gesture of excitement, an indicator that they’re about to dive into a major research session. “On that note, shall we begin?”

They shall.

———

Killian can’t really be considered a babysitter - even if he was able to move beyond his mirror, Emma doubts he’d be able to handle a phone in the event of an emergency - but he’s still an enormous help with Henry, all the same. In the years since Henry’s birth, Emma’s had to act as a sort of superwoman - simultaneously balancing the demands of her job with keeping her son happy and healthy and entertained, all while trying to keep their apartments from dissolving into trash heaps and desperately trying to hold her sanity and sense of self together.

Even confined as he is, Killian somehow manages to alleviate some of that load, happily keeping Henry distracted and watching over the boy as he plays. Henry, as it turns out, loves attempting to teach his new friend everything about the twenty-first century, giggling and laughing uproariously at Killian’s confused faces (some of them exaggerated for Henry’s benefit, Emma suspects, but she’s not telling). He loves hearing Killian’s stories even more than that, and it seems like the ancient pirate enjoys the telling just as much, turning each tale into a vast drama of thrilling adventure that leaves his young audience enraptured.

(Emma notices that he’s careful to keep his stories tame, choosing ones without the violence and booze and women she’s sure must have been a significant part of such a life, or at the very least downplaying and glossing over the details. She appreciates it, even if she’s never openly said it; there’s no need for Henry to learn about such things this young.)

It’s a pretty tableau they make, Emma thinks as she watches from the doorway, almost Rockwell-esque - the young boy, a book of fairytales propped across his lap, and the brotherly (or possibly even paternal figure) over his shoulder, helping him sound out the words in a learning ritual repeated every day across America. The only interruption to ruin the facade is that prohibitive pane of glass, preventing boy and man from interacting in more concrete and physical ways.

“Are you going to stand there all day lurking, Swan, or will you join us?” Killian calls, a teasing note evident in his tone. Emma may roll her eyes in response, but she willingly crosses the room to join them, ignoring Killian’s cocky smirk in favor of focusing on Henry’s sweet giggles at the exchange.

“What are we reading tonight, my little Giggle Bug?” she asks, before sweeping down to attack Henry’s head with kisses just to hear those giggles continue even longer.

“The Princess and the Frog!” he happily chirps back when Emma finally ceases her kiss attack to allow her kid a moment to catch his breath. “The princess looks like you, Mama!”

Sure enough, when Emma looks at the illustration, the princess’ head is covered in blonde curls - the feature she’s learned is most important in identification to a kindergartener. “She sure does,” Emma agrees affectionately. “Looks like she’s kissing that frog.”

“She’s going to turn him back into a prince,” Henry explains. “He just needed someone to kiss him, you see, and she said she would because he saved her ball and she’s so nice.”

“What do you think, Swan?” Killian cuts in. Somehow, Emma gets the impression that, were he free from his glass confines, he’d be elbowing her in the side. “Do you think a kiss from a pretty blonde would be enough to break my curse?” Mirth twinkles in his eyes, but beneath that, she can sense just a little bit of hope. It seems the ruthless captain still believes in fairy tales and all that comes with them.

“Please,” she scoffs, fighting a smile all the while. “You couldn’t handle it. It’d smudge the glass, give you a conniption.”

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it, love,” he taunts, playfully tapping a finger against his lips.

Emma looks at him appraisingly for one more moment, mouth fixed in an amused smile, before moving decisively, never one to back down from a dare. As Killian stares back in shock and confusion, she gestures impatiently. “Well come on then! Mosey up, or whatever. I can’t really kiss you through the glass if you’re not puckered up on the other side.”

Though he looks flustered - honestly, what did he expect from that teasing? - Killian finally moves to press his lips against the glass, eyes closed as if waiting for a real kiss on real flesh. Taking a final deep breath, Emma moves to do the same, and rising on her toes, presses her lips to the glass where Killian’s own are reflected.

Immediately, she knows it’s not going to work. Not only is there no fairytale-esque flash of rainbow light, but she can still feel the glass under her lips, eternal and unyielding. It reminds her faintly of dares made in middle school to make out with her own hand - that same lack of response, same feeling of why the fuck am I doing this, just colder.

Pulling away, it’s impossible to miss the disappointment on Killian’s face, though he quickly masks it by furiously wiping at the mirror with his soft linen undershirt, flashing Emma a glimpse of a trim midsection and treasure trail in the process.

“Do me a favor, Swan,” he says, brows furrowed in a valiant attempt at feigning deep concentration. “Go fetch that blue liquid you use.”

Emma snorts in amusement. “You mean the Windex?”

“Yes, the… Windex,” he replies with evident disdain for the newfangled product name. “Quickly, now, you know any impediment to my clear viewing will ‘drive me nuts’, as you and the lad so charmingly say.”

“Fine, Captain Neatfreak,” Emma concedes. It’s the least she can do in the face of his disappointment. “C’mon, Henry, let’s go hunt down some Windex before Killian blows a gasket.”

“Actually, Swan,” Killian calls, “I was hoping the lad might be amenable to reading another story aloud?”

Henry looks up eagerly, and even if Emma wasn’t looking to make amends, she’d be lost. “Of course he can.”

After all, as she said before - after the temporary defeat they just suffered, if hearing another fairytale from her kid will make Killian feel better, it’s the least she can do.

———

Despite Emma and Killian’s continued distraction - even though Henry is feeling better, the flu bug having run its course, he’s still rather lethargic and low on energy and is stuck in bed, having developed a nasty cough to boot - Belle arrives to continue their research bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“I’ve got excellent news!” she chirps, all smiles. Not even a delayed response seems to faze her, grin only growing wider in the face of Emma’s tiredness and the deep look of concern on Killian’s face. “Don’t you want to know what I found?”

“Of course, lass,” Killian quickly jumps in. No one particularly relishes the thought of dimming Belle’s cheerful enthusiasm. “What have you discovered now?”

“Well, I was finally able to hunt down what happened to your ship,” she beams. “As it turns out, after your mysterious and untimely disappearance - that’s how it was described in the book, by the way,” she laughs, “a man named William Smee took over as captain  — ”

“Smee?” Killian interjects, leaving Emma to stifle her laugh at the look of horror on his face. “That buffoon?”

“Well, the history books don’t say anything about him being a buffoon,” Belle explains patiently, “but yes, William Smee became the new captain, renaming the ship the Siren’s Call — ”

“Gods, this just gets worse and worse,” Killian mutters, not quite under his breath. “Bad enough luck the first time.” Emma makes a mental note to ask him about that later. Killian, seeing the brunette librarian’s exasperated look at his continued interruptions, sheepishly apologizes. “Sorry, milady. Please continue.”

With a final fond glare at the outraged pirate, Belle picks up her train of thought again. “As I was saying, it was renamed the Siren’s Call, and actually managed to survive to the current day, mostly intact. She’s been turned into a piracy museum, and a very popular one at that.”

That perks him back up well enough. “My ship? She’s still on the water?”

Belle nods, her initial enthusiasm returning. “Majestically so. Now, for practical reasons, we can’t really bring you to the ship, so I brought the ship to you!”

Emma eyes Belle skeptically. “Unless I’ve missed something, I don’t see a massive pirate ship in my backyard. I’m pretty sure Henry would have been hollering about that by now.”

“Oh, of course not, I can’t actually bring the whole ship here,” Belle amends. “But, as it happens, the local historical society funded a major restoration about ten years ago, and a few of the overworn or fragile parts were replaced in an effort to make the ship properly seaworthy again, and the originals were put into storage at the historical society’s archives. And I might have made up a little fib about teaching a unit about historical piracy and its economic effect on the British Empire, just so I could reasonably borrow… this!” As she finishes on that enthusiastic punctuation, Belle produces a small item from her purse with a flourish.

To Emma, it doesn’t really look like much; just a small, worn and stained piece of wood, clearly carved to serve some purpose, albeit none she can easily recognize. It must mean something to Killian, though, as his face fills with a soft awe, fingers brushing the glass reverently in a desperate attempt to get that little bit closer.

“A piece of the rigging,” he all but breathes. “I can’t believe…” His wonder is so great that, while usually verbose in the extreme, he can’t even finish his sentence, trailing off into nothing more than a soft smile.

“Exactly.” Belle beams, obviously pleased with herself. Emma silently holds out a hand in request, and Belle hands her the small wooden piece in response. It’s in good condition for its age, though stained and worn from decades exposed to sun and salt and water and beginning to crack. Rubbing a thumb along the smooth, worn wood, Emma looks up to meet Belle’s eyes.

“And you’re sure this is from his ship? There’s no possibility it’s a case of mixed-up labeling or storage or something?” Part of the asking is to make sure they’re not trying this for nothing without any chance of their desired outcome, but the other part is in search of an excuse. There’s a significant chance that this won’t work; Emma’s not kidding herself on that front. That doesn’t stop her from searching for a reason this might fail that’s not pure dumb luck.

But Belle shakes her head confidently, negating that possibility. “Nearly none. It was only recently removed, and they’re a very meticulous organization, despite their small size.”

“Ok then. Figured I’d check.” Strangely nervous as she turns to face Killian, who is patiently waiting in the mirror for his companions to finish their debate, Emma takes a deep breath. “Ready?”

Killian nods solemnly, fingers still stroking the glass absentmindedly and eyes focused on the small piece of wood in her hand.

With a final determined nod, Emma raises her hand with the rigging to face the mirror. “Here goes nothing, then.”

Pressing hand and artifact against the glass, at first Emma feels nothing. The glass is just as cold and unforgiving as ever, now tinged even colder with the chill of disappointment. But as Emma presses harder, in a last ditch effort at refusing to relinquish hope, she feels… something. There’s a give to the surface that wasn’t there before - not enough to break through yet, but enough to feel that there is an effect, contrary to all logic and physics.

“I think something’s happening,” she mutters, barely loud enough for Killian to hear, as she pushes even harder against the glass, brows furrowed and mouth frowning in concentration. Sure enough, she can physically see her hand start to sink into the glass, the surface bending around the pressure like the surface of a trampoline. Glancing up quickly, she can see the way Killian’s eyes are blown wide in shock before he moves his hand to receive hers.

Suddenly, the glass gives way around her hand, not quite disappearing but reducing to nothing more than a film, and her hand with its treasure encased falls to meet Killian’s own. Briefly, there’s a muted sense of skin meeting skin, of callused yet tender fingertips just brushing the inside of her wrist, before there’s a sucking sensation around the wood piece in her palm. Without any warning, Emma’s hand is once again expelled from the mirror, only her quick sense of balance saving her from being sent sprawling on the floor.

She doesn’t even have the time to start contemplating everything that just happened before Belle is trying to get her attention, amazement coloring her voice.

“Emma, look!” she all but screeches, leaving Emma with the urge to issue a reminder about indoor voices. “It didn’t work the way we expected, but look!”

At first, as Emma focuses on the mirror, she doesn’t notice anything different. Sure, Killian looks a little shell-shocked, like his entire world has been jarred, but Emma’s a little freaked out by whatever experience they just shared as well, so honestly, that’s warranted and not especially surprising. However, as she looks closer, Belle’s exclamations are explained; inexplicably, Killian is holding the piece of his ship in his hand.

“How even…” Emma starts, but there’s really no point in asking. She’s unlikely to get an answer that makes any amount of sense anyway.

“Swan,” Killian says, voice just a little bit broken. “Look at this, this is… Swan.” He’s clearly in a state of shock and awe over this development - Emma thinks she even spots tears glistening in his eyes. She supposes that it stands to reason - this is the closest he’s gotten to freedom in literal years, and yet without true success. This seems to be an emotional reaction even beyond that, however, and Emma’s itching to ask him about it, and try to comfort her friend in any way.

Belle must sense that he needs a moment to collect himself, as she smiles knowingly and moves back towards the door. “I’ve procured an old spell book that I left in the car,” she explains in a weak excuse. “I thought there might be a few potions in there that might be worth a try - let me go grab that from my car really quick.”

Emma turns to fully face the mirror as Belle makes her exit, attempting to meet Killian’s eyes. “Hey, are you okay?” she asks, fully aware of the concerned tone of her voice.

“Aye, Swan,” he smiles weakly, wiping at his eyes. There’s a moment of quiet, filled only with the sounds of their breathing. Emma can’t help but notice the way he handles the weathered piece of wood almost reverently, running his thumb back and forth across the surface like that piece of the rigging, at first glance a humble and utilitarian object, is the greatest treasure imaginable.

“The Jolly wasn’t always mine, you know,” he finally says, smiling in a way that almost seems wistful, choosing his words carefully in starts and stops as he continues. “It was a proper Navy ship once - the Jewel of the Realm she was named in those days. And my brother… my brother was her captain, the best captain imaginable. I’d have followed him anywhere, even if he hadn’t raised me. And after he was gone…” Killian finally meets her eye again, glancing up from his hands with a smile that’s turned sad. “Well, after he was gone, it felt like that ship was all I had left of him. Even after I renamed her, even after I threw off the red coat to become a pirate… it felt like part of him was still alive on that ship. Attempting to avenge him is what got me into this mess, and I lost my last connection to him in the process. Having this little insignificant piece of the Jolly… it may seem small to you, like we didn’t achieve much,” he concludes, more confident now in his words, “but you’ve given me a little piece of my brother back that I’ve been missing for years. Thank you,” he finishes earnestly, the tears making a reappearance.

It’s not really Emma’s territory. She’s not great at accepting thanks, especially when she doesn’t think she’s done anything to warrant it. “I don’t know that you should be thanking me,” she mutters, eyes downcast. “It’s not like I did it on purpose, whatever just happened just kind of… happened.”

“Still, Swan,” he insists, “whether you intended it or not, you’ve given me a great gift. Take the thanks - they’re freely and sincerely given.”

“Well, I guess you’re welcome, then.”

Killian grins, and Emma can almost physically feel the emotional cloud lift from the room. “Now tell me, before the lovely Miss French comes back - do I look a fright?”

Emma can’t help it - she laughs, despite their previous seriousness. “Don’t worry, you still look devilishly handsome, or whatever you call it.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” he winks - a move executed more with his eyebrows as both eyes close - just in time for the sound of the front door opening to trail back into the living room.

If he’s at all upset with the way things have gone today, Killian doesn’t show it, and Emma breathes a sigh of relief at that.

———

Emma hates to admit it, but as the weeks go on, the initial flurry of research starts to trickle off. It’s not that they’re falling into resignation - or, at the very least, Emma isn’t - but as it turns out, without knowing what this mysterious thing they’re looking for is, their little group is left just to read the same books over and over again, trying and failing to wring another drop of information out of the same tired words. In the immediate aftermath of what Emma’s started thinking of as the “rigging incident”, Belle had tried a number of spells and potions, but none had made any difference beyond annoying Killian with the various murky liquids trickling down the front of his glass. As the weeks stretch on, it seems like Killian is settling into resignation more than anyone else, albeit a content resignation. After years with naught but his own company and the occasional ill-intentioned summoner, Emma supposes this is likely as good a life as he ever expected to have after his drastic change in circumstances.

There’s a routine they’ve sort of settled into; come down, say good morning to Killian (who now comes and goes as he pleases, rarely choosing the solitude of the blank mirror over her or Henry’s company) and eat a little breakfast on the couch before school. After school, Killian happily keeps Henry entertained as Emma deals with whatever work she’s had to bring home before dinner - once again on the couch so their resident pirate doesn’t feel left out (something Henry is very concerned about). After Henry is put to bed, Emma usually takes some time to sort through her day with Killian, relishing the chance to talk and vent with an adult after dealing with teenagers and her own kid all day. Honestly, it’s becoming a highlight of her day; Killian is a fantastic listener, and Emma feels a kinship with him like she’s never experienced before, even with her closest friends.

This Saturday is like any other - Emma and Henry both sleep in a little later than usual, before Emma goes to try and figure out something they can eat for breakfast. Henry’s in the other room with Killian, as per usual, and Emma smiles at the thought of her kid attempting to explain the finer points of cartoon plots. As she tries to pry open a can of biscuits, she faintly hears Henry cough, but doesn’t pay much attention to it. The cough showed up not long after his flu bug disappeared; it’s just a little leftover cold, one they’ve gotten used to.

What Emma hasn’t gotten used to, however, is the note of panic in Killian’s voice as he calls for her. It’s so out of character that it strikes Emma dumb for a moment, and he’s already calling her name again as she rushes into the living room.

“What’s wrong - what happened?” she demands, attempting to analyze the situation. Despite the relatively early hour, Henry looks absolutely sapped of energy already, and Emma’s blood runs cold in her veins at the realization that the only thing that would leave Killian calling for her in a panic is Henry being at risk somehow. “What’s wrong with Henry?”

“He went into one of those coughing fits,” Killian jumps to explain, eyes a little wild as Emma meets his gaze in the mirror, “but after that passed… it was like he couldn’t catch his breath, Swan, just this horrible gasping.”

“I’m tired, Mama,” Henry cuts in with a mumble, as if to underscore that something’s wrong.

“Is he going to be okay, Emma?” Killian asks, painfully earnest.

“Yeah,” she says, voice uncertain, worry almost certainly splashed across her face. “But I think we need to go to the doctor. Right now.”

———

It has to be one of the longest mornings of her life, carrying Henry to urgent care and anxiously waiting for the doctor to tell her what’s wrong with her kid.

Even if it’s only early afternoon by the time she carries a sleeping Henry back into the house and straight up to his bed, Emma’s exhausted. Intense emotion and stress will do that to a person.

Coming back down the stairs, she’s ready to fix herself a cup of hot chocolate and maybe crash for an hour or two before Killian’s voice halts her in her tracks. He only calls her name - just a way to get her attention, really - but Emma is drawn up short by the sheer desperation in his voice. Changing her course towards his mirror, she notes that he doesn’t look much better - hair mussed from hands running through it and a permanent frown on his face, looking wildly out of place. It would have been easy enough for him to retreat from the mirror - Emma knows from previous conversations that time goes marginally faster for him when he’s not summoned in the mirror - but he’s clearly spent the whole time pacing back and forth in the glass, waiting to hear the news as soon as they returned. Truly, Emma’s touched by the gesture and obvious concern as a symbol of exactly how much he’s come to care for their little family.

“Please tell me he’s alright, Swan,” Killian all but begs when he looks up from his frenetic pacing. “He’s so young, so… please tell me he’s going to be okay.”

“He’s going to be okay,” Emma assures with a weak smile. At her words, Killian practically collapses in relief, tension visibly lifting from his frame. “He’s got pneumonia, so he’s going to be sick for a little while longer, but the doctor gave him some antibiotics - some medicine,” she clarifies. “But yeah, he’s going to be fine. Hopefully he’ll start feeling better in the next few days.”

“And these… antibiotics, they’ll cure him?”

“I think it’s more that they’ll help him fight off the little disease bugs, but yeah, basically. And they hooked him up to an oxygen tank at the doctor’s for a little bit, which was kinda scary at the time, but he perked up right away. Honestly, it was like baby’s first drug high, he was so energized all of a sudden.”

“I was so scared, Swan,” Killian admits, resting his hand against the glass. “Henry’s such a bright little boy, and when he was sitting there, gasping for breath, I was absolutely terrified for him.”

“I know you were,” Emma replies softly, moving to press her own hand against his through the glass. “I was too.”

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m overstepping, Swan, but I care about that boy. He’s… everything. I was lonely for so many years, trapped in this prison, and meeting you both… It was the first bright spot in my existence in a very long time. Both of you,” he emphasizes. “Seeing him this morning, seeing your bald-faced worry, I was forced to think of what life would be like without either of you in it again, and it scared me half to death.”

“That’s not overstepping at all,” she reassures him. “That’s just called caring. You care about us.”

Killian nods solemnly at her words, as if in a vow. “Yes. I care.”

There’s been a warmth to the glass between their palms for as long as they’ve been pressed together, but Emma had largely disregarded it, far more focused on the words of the very concerned pirate looking back at her. But with his final words, in a cinematically dramatic moment, the glass suddenly becomes almost too hot to touch, before Killian’s hand sinks right through, palms suddenly meeting skin to skin without their customary barrier. In another circumstance, Emma might laugh at the look of almost comic shock on Killian’s face, but in the moment she can only stare with her own matching expression.

“Is that…?” Killian begins before trailing off, clearly struggling to believe such a thing could be possible for him after years of dreaming. Emma only nods in response, but rotates her hand to grasp his and attempt to draw him the rest of the way through the glass.

Miraculously, it works. Emma steps slowly, disbelievingly backwards, lifting her other hand to meet his, until eventually he swings a leg over the gilded frame and into freedom.

“I can’t believe it,” he murmurs, looking around in astonishment, clutching her hands like a lifeline the whole while. In a way, perhaps it is; Emma’s the first human contact he’s had in hundreds of years. “I’m here? With you and… and the rest of the world? Truthfully?”

“You’re really here,” Emma smiles, her own vow. Then, as all the events of the preceding minutes sink in, she bursts into uncontrollable laughter, forced to release Killian’s hands to brace her heaving frame on her knees.

“I don’t understand what’s so funny, Swan,” he protests, though a small smile plays across his lips.

“You finally broke your curse because you cared, Killian!” she tries to explain through the laughter, before realizing that did nothing to clear the matter up. “It’s frickin’ Beauty and the Beast, how did I not realize that? Let alone Belle?” Killian chuckles along good-naturedly, but it’s easy to see that he’s still confused. There’s a lot she and Henry are going to have to catch him up on; Emma forgets that sometimes. “It’s a fairy tale. And a movie - one of Henry’s moving pictures. I’ll get him to show you. Trust me, this will be hilarious when you get it.”

“I’ll trust you on that,” he replies with a smile. He does that a lot, Emma realizes - both the trust and the smile.

Killian may claim that Emma and Henry are the ones to brighten his world, but Emma has a strong suspicion he’ll do the same for them.

———

Henry is positively thrilled at the breaking of Killian’s curse, only stopped from attack-hugging the man by Emma’s stern warnings not to get him sick.

(“He’s 300 years old, Henry, and hasn’t had all the shots we have. You could very literally kill him with your love.”)

Killian seems a little overwhelmed by everything, but that’s to be expected, she supposes. The last time he saw real daylight, not just through a reflection, the main method of transportation was horseback and electricity hadn’t been discovered yet. She can give him a little slack if he’s looking at everything suspiciously.

When Emma and Henry moved to Storybrooke, Maine, she never imagined she’d end up living out a real-life ghost story. But then again, there’s not really a how-to manual for living with a 300 year old pirate. What they learn along the way is that he makes an excellent roommate - clean and courteous and always willing to help out with Henry or whatever else she needs. There’d been a debate about procuring him his own place, but for the moment, this is just easier - no needing to find him money no one has to spare or sorting out the intricacies of figuring out some fake papers. Belle is able to get him a job at the local library, where he develops a reputation as a courteous and professional member of the staff and great with the children’s storytimes, if universally considered to be a little eccentric.

He even looks the part too, these days, courtesy of a shopping spree at the local Target and thrift stores, even if Killian is only talked down from continuing to wear his long leather duster by the purchase of a second hand leather jacket in a more recent style. Sometimes, Emma almost forgets that Killian is a man out of time with the way he stands so normally in her kitchen, pouring out a bowl of cereal in stockinged feet. Of course, he’ll then refer to the computer as the “information box” or something else so obviously out of the ordinary, and the illusion is ruined.

She’s not sure she’d want him to fully acclimate, anyway. There’s something adorable about his little confused pout, and especially the way that Henry’s taken the pirate under his proverbial wing, trying to explain the world to him and introducing Killian to particular highlights (the Reese’s peanut butter cups are a particular hit). There’s something to be said, too, for his manners, courtly and chivalrous in ways Emma’s not accustomed to but welcomes all the same.

Honestly, she thinks he might be attempting to court her - to borrow a phrase - even if he hasn’t definitively declared it. Emma certainly wouldn’t be opposed if he did so; there’s a connection between them, one that’s existed for longer than she likes to admit. Living together, it’s hard to ignore the tender looks sent her way - not that Emma wants to. In fact, she might be guilty of sending a few his way in return. Still, he never makes a move, never seeks anything else, and by the time he figures out how to use the toaster oven, Emma is tired of excusing it as him still trying to acclimate to the modern world.

“Are you ever going to do anything about that flirting?” she finally demands one night, sitting on the couch watching television with Killian after Henry’s gone to bed.

Killian looks flabbergasted at her outburst. “Excuse me?”

“You send me doe-eyed looks, like, all the time, not to mention the comments. Are you ever actually going to follow through, or…?”

“I didn’t think you wanted me to,” he admits, flushing brilliantly scarlet as he ducks his head to scratch behind an ear. “I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries.”

“You didn’t think I wanted you to? Jesus, Killian, I never said that! Honestly, I’ve been trying to give it right back — ”

“ — well I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, a gentleman never — ”

But Emma never finds out what a gentleman never does, as she finally drags his lips down to hers.

It’s not much of a kiss at first, Killian’s shock turning it into two sets of lips ferociously pressing against one another rather than a proper, romantic gesture. It’s not much different from kissing the glass, really; warmer, softer, but similarly unresponsive. After a prolonged moment, Emma draws back, meeting his stupefied expression with her own fierce-eyed stare. When Killian doesn’t react - except perhaps to become more slack-jawed - Emma nearly takes her hands away from his face and resigns herself to the embarrassment of having unsuccessfully made a move on her roommate. Before she can move, however, he’s back, warm lips moving against hers, fiercely at first before settling into something more tender. It’s a good first kiss, a perfect one really, and Emma looks forward to many more.

As they finally break apart to regain independent use of their lungs,  Emma rests her forehead against Killian’s. “That was…” she begins, breathlessly.

“Fantastic,” Killian finishes, before breaking into a shit-eating grin. “Really, Swan, you’re so much better at that without the glass in the way.”

“Shut up,” Emma retorts, but she smiles even as she smacks his chest with the back of her hand. Really, the man’s got a point.

“Make me,” he shoots right back, smirk permanently affixed to his face.

And really, can anyone blame her for doing exactly that?

(As it turns out, 300 year old legendary pirates make excellent kissers.)

[ijustwant2write]

Snowy Nights-Michael Gray x Reader

(GIF credit to @fibu)

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/N) love a good party, but when she finds her friend doing snow with the infamous junior Peaky Blinders, she starts to see another side to the party life she thought she knew.

Characters: Michael Gray x Reader, mentions of Finn Shelby and Isaiah Jesus

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name

Warnings: Cocaine use, abuse of drugs and alcohol

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Come on Betty, let’s go!” I called loudly up the stairs, annoyed that she was taking this long to get ready.

“Ok, don’t get your knickers in a twist!” she shouted back. 

I finally heard movement, her heels clicking against the wooden floor before she finally emerged at the top of the stairs. Betty made striked a pose, obviously happy with her look tonight. I smirked, placing a hand on my hip.

“I thought you said you were getting ready, you’ve been up there for hours.”

She sarcastically laughed as she made her way towards me.“Oh ha ha, tell another one.”

“That’s alright, your outfits already a joke.”

She squealed, hitting me with her purse. We both laughed at our banter as we scrapped, avoiding each others hair and face. Betty locked up, each one of us shivering from the miserable Birmingham weather; however, neither of us dared to put on a coat, not wanting to ruin our outfits. Huddling together, we walked as fast as we could in our heels to the Garrison.

It was one of the Shelby brother’s birthday, meaning that there was a huge celebration taking place. Betty and I were only invited due to two of our friends who worked for them (one, Chris, was a Peaky Blinder himself and the other, Mary, was a secretary for Arthur Shelby). It seemed that anyone was invited, as long as it brought in money for the pub. I had encountered some of the younger peakys in my lifetime, though thankfully I never got too close. They were part of the biggest gangs in England, and although I was sure they wouldn’t harm me (I had and wouldn’t do anything to offend them), I still found them intimidating. Betty was none the wiser, thinking of the gangsters in a fairy tale way, as if one of them would sweep her off her feet; but that was probably due to the snow she liked to dabble in. 

Ignoring the drunk punters outside the Garrison, we welcomed the warmth that embraced us as we entered the pub. It was jam packed with people, everyone wanting a chance to boast about being at the same party as the Peaky Blinders. Everyone was dressed in their best, the men adorning smart suits and the women sporting dresses of a variety of colours. It was loud, music was playing for once and everyone had drinks in their hands. We pushed through the crowds, only just managing to make it to the actual bar. Having to shout the orders, I reached into my purse to pay, only to be stopped by a man.

“Don’t worry Harry, these girls are with me.”

Our friend Chris smirked from behind us, clearly drunk as he hugged us both tightly. We all laughed, grabbing the drinks and following him to a table full of people our own age. Mary pulled me down onto the seat next to her, immediately diving into a conversation before I could even take a sip of my drink. I was glad to be invited, knowing that the Shelby’s were a dangerous bunch. But once Mary had mentioned a party, I couldn’t say no. 

It agitated Betty that I was constantly going out. Not because I would leave her behind or the fact that I probably had alcohol poisoning almost every week, I was just very noisy when I came home. I wasn’t a lightweight, meaning it took a lot of drinks to get me anywhere near drunk, which also meant that I always stumbling home at ungodly hours of the morning.

The night carried on and the drinks kept flowing. I could feel my head getting lighter, my senses not as sharp as they were before. But I was safe in here, I had friends who worked for the Shelby’s, I’m sure the Peaky Blinders didn’t want any trouble at their party. Mary and I giggled as we danced, our movements most likely looking like we were just flailing around. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder, causing me to roll my eyes; there were still plenty of creeps around here and I did not want to be dealing with them tonight.

“Excuse me, are you (Y/N)?” It was Finn Shelby.

I composed myself.“Yes, I am.”

“Your friend, Betty, she needs your help outside.” 

“What?” I looked around the room, realising she was in fact gone.“What’s wrong with her?”

“I think you should just come outside.”

I sighed, telling Mary where I was headed before following the youngest Shelby. I tried not to moan as we stepped outside, it had got even colder since we arrived. He was leading me to the alleyway next to the building, causing me to stop in my tracks.

He turned around when he realised I wasn’t following.“What are you doing?”

“You’re taking me into an alleyway, how can I trust you?” I slurred slightly.

“I promise you your friend is down here.”

“(Y/N)?” I heard Betty’s voice, relaxing me slightly.

Crossing my arms over my chest to keep me warm, I groaned as I saw Betty crumpled up on the floor, Michael Gray trying to keep her steady.

“What happened?” I panicked, sobering up slightly.

“She played around in the snow too much.” The preacher’s son, Isaiah Jesus stated as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“How much did she have?” I knelt down, cradling her head in my hands.

“Quite a lot. She got into Isaiah’s stash.” Michael explained.

“I am so sorry, she’s usually more responsible around this stuff. I should probably get her home.”

“Let us help you. There’s no way you can get her home by yourself.” Isaiah offered.

“It’s really no problem-”

“There’s way too many corrupt men around here, we insist.”

Corrupt men? What does that make you guys?

Despite my hesitation, I agreed to let them help me. Finn disappeared once again, to inform my friends of what had happened. Isaiah and Michael were either side of Betty, holding her up as she stumbled home. Her high was long gone, now came the down fall. 

“How did she get into your stash? Where do you keep it?” I asked, suddenly curious.

“The inside pocket of my jacket.” Isaiah answered. Michael chuckled under his breath.

“So how did Betty get it?”

“She was coming onto me, who was I to deny a pretty lady all of this?” He cockily said, though I found it funny.

“And it didn’t occur to you that she wanted more snow?” 

Isaiah stuttered, causing Michael and I to laugh out loud. They struggled as Betty kept tripping over her own feet, dragging the boys down with her. At one point, she had insisted to leave her on the floor as she began to lay down, only to scramble back onto her feet as I scolded her. Eventually we made it home, Isaiah and Michael placing her on the sofa in the living room.

“She’s never been this bad. I don’t know why she did this to herself.” I sighed, placing my hands on my hips in frustration.

“Does she usually partake in this activity?” Michael smirked, somehow finding this funny.

“Not often. And when she does, it never goes this far.”

“And you?”

I turned my head to look up at him.“Excuse me?”

“You don’t do snow? You find it stupid and reckless I’m assuming.”

“No, well....Yes, I don’t want to get involved with any of that stuff but I obviously don’t judge others.”

“You sure about that?”

Just as I was about to snap back, we were interrupted by Betty lurching to the side and throwing up all over the floor, causing me to scream in shock and disgust. The three of us stood frozen as we watched her stay still, but panicked as her body started to convulse. She was shaking violently and I had no idea what to do.

“Oh shit.” Isaiah hissed.

“W-what are you doing just standing there?! Do something!” I screamed at them.

“What do you want me to do?!”

“You’re the ones that take it, you should know about this!”

“Do you have a phone?” Michael shouted over us.

“N-no but the girls next door do-”

“Isaiah, get on that phone now. Call the doctor and get him here as soon as you can.”

Isaiah bolted out of the house, and I could hear him knocking frantically next door. My focus went back to Betty, frightened by her state. Michael had laid her on her side to stop her choking on vomit, but she was still shaking.

“Michael what do I do?” I managed to choke out, unable to tear my eyes away from them.

“Go get towels and a bowl of water. She should stop seizing soon but we need to be prepared for the doctor.”

My hands were trembling as I tried to collect the items, though still dropping the bowl. It clattered on the floor, making me more stressed. Michael called out to me but I didn’t hear what he said. I had frozen up again, leaning against the kitchen counter as I tried to steady my breathing. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder turn me around, only to be steadied before toppling over.

“You need to calm down.” He instructed.“She’s passed out now, the doctor will be here soon.”

“As soon as he gets here, I want you both out.”

“Wait, what?” He removed his hands from my shoulders, starting to look angry.

“You guys were the ones carrying this stuff, it’s dangerous.”

“She’s the one who took it from Isaiah.”

“If you think it’s so amazing, why would you not protect it more? Look, I appreciate the help, I really do, but Betty will be humiliated after this...that’s if she recovers.”

He started to stutter, trying to come up with a response when someone came barging into the house. Looking down the hallway, I saw a man with a doctor’s briefcase rush into the living room, Isaiah right behind him. I gave one last glare at Micheal before going to my friend, hoping that she would recover from this and the embarrassment that would come after.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week had gone by since the scare of my life. Betty was recovering well though refused to leave the house unless necessary. However, she quickly changed her mind when Mary had popped round and told us how the boys were guilty about what happened; not that I believed that, why would they care about a random girl who took too much snow? Betty had always liked the attention from the Peaky boys and decided to see what truth there was to this story,and apparently I had to go with her.

Betty dolled herself up, just like we had that night we went out, having to physically drag me out of the house. She guilt tripped me into thinking that she was still ill, and quote ‘could faint at any given moment if not looked after’. Regretfully, I walked alongside her as she babbled on about the young gangsters, excited to see if they really did care about her health. 

My nerves were building up as I remembered how rude I was to Michael that night. Though I didn’t regret my words, there was a part of me that knew that he had gone out of his way to help us, despite not knowing who we were. But it would be too embarrassing now to bring that back up. I could feel myself getting shy as we spotted Michael, Isaiah and Finn leaning against the wall of the Garrison. Betty held her head up higher, swaying her hips as she confidently swaggered up to them, me trailing behind her like an idiot.

“Good afternoon gentlemen.” She chirped, catching their attention.

“Here she is, finally decided to let her house arrest then (Y/N)?” Isaiah teased, though I didn’t find it funny.

“No point joking around mate, she doesn’t like fun.” Michael mumbled as he took a drag of his cigarette.

“And your idea of fun is having an overdose and getting sick, is it?” I retorted.

Finn and Isaiah chuckled,but I could see Betty getting agitated with my attitude. 

“Betty, just get on with it please.” I sighed.

“Hold on, hold on, what the hell went on between you two that night?” Finn interrupted, clearly finding this amusing.

“Someone didn’t appreciate our help.” Michael snapped.

“No, I did appreciate it, but I didn’t want Betty around you guys at that moment.”

“It didn’t seem like that-”

“I was having a moment, my best friend had a fucking overdose-”

“Ok! I think we’ll leave you guys to it. Come on Betty, the least you can do for me is buy me a drink.” Isaiah shouted over us, guiding Finn and Betty inside the pub.

Neither of us looked at each other, and I think we both felt the embarrassment of bickering in the street. The awkward tension was rising and I just had to say something to cut it short, even if I didn’t want to.

“I’m sorry. For being really rude that night.” I blurted out.

“Oh, that’s a surprise.”

I scoffed at him, ready to walk away when he caught my arm, chuckling slightly.

“No, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I thought it would come out as funny.”

I gently took my arm away from him, wrapping my coat tighter around myself, suddenly feeling self conscious. He had a slight smile on his face as he stubbed out the cigarette, and I found myself smiling too. I swayed from each foot, not sure where the conversation was going now.

“Can I make it up to you?” He asked.

“What?” 

“Let me take you out, for dinner perhaps?”

I smirked.“Shouldn’t you be doing this for Betty?”

“I mean if you don’t want to go, you could just say no-”

I laughed.“Of course I do! I was joking.”

“So what about tonight?”

“Tonight would be good. There won’t be any snow though, will there?”

“Not unless you want there to be.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, gaining a laugh.

“Again, I tried to make a joke.”

I rolled my eyes, heading inside the Garrison.“You might want to work on that before tonight.”

[myheartrevealed]

I Will Be Here- Chapter Nine

Jack Kline x Reader

Summary: Dr. Myla was one of the only therapists who specialized in treating the Supernatural, someone who offered an oasis to people like you. Carrying the burden of your father and being the ever-hunted Cambion, you attend her sessions however, that begins to change when you meet a fellow patient, Jack. Can unfortunate circumstances bring you two together even though all odds are against it?

~ ~ ~

(A/N: I’m sorry about the gif but I HAD to use this. It was too perfect.)

It had been two months since you had moved into the bunker. What you had planned to be a temporary shelter while you looked for somewhere else to stay, turned out the be much more permanent.

You honestly like living with Sam, Jack, and Cas. They were all very welcoming to you. Even Cas has warmed up to you and would, on occasion, have nice conversations with you. Jack liked to hold movie nights, where he would force the four of you to sit down and watch something he had found on Netflix that he wanted to watch.

Tonight was one of those nights. Jack had picked some action movie that you had never seen before and Sam had made popcorn. Sam took the chair, as he always did and you sat on the far end of the couch, up against the arm, so that there was plenty of room for Jack and Cas to sit comfortably. Somehow, however, Jack ended up right next to you, so much so that your arms were pressed up against one another.

You didn’t mind, he did that often, but you wondered if he realized he was doing it. You leaned up closer against him, almost unconsciously, to get some of his body heat.

As the movie started, you were startled by the sound of a phone ringing. It was Sam’s, which sat in front of you on the table. You leaned forward.

“It’s Mary,” you said simply, tossing the phone to him.

He caught it with ease and answered. “Hey mom. What’s up?”

You had met Mary already. She came back from her usual hunts a little while ago and stayed for about a week. Although you didn’t really get to know her, she seemed nice enough. She didn’t treat you too strange after finding out what you were and told you that as long as you were helping her boys, she didn’t care who your parents were.

Sam froze, his eyes widening and Jack paused the movie. “No, she hasn’t said anything to me… Really? So I… No I’ll call her right away… Yes, of course. Thanks mom… Love you too. Bye.” He hung up and looked between us.

“What was that about?” Cas asked him.

“It’s Jody. She’s got… or she thinks she’s got a way to track Michael.”

~ ~ ~

Jody Mills arrived at the bunker two days later. The first thing she did was hug Sam and tell him how much she had missed him.

“The girl’s wanted to come along too, but I told them that it wasn’t going to be a long visit and that you’d see them soon. I can’t guarantee Claire didn’t stow away in my car, though. You know how she is.”

Sam chuckled. “Yeah. Uh, Jody? This is Y/N.”

He turned to you and you gave a small wave.

“Oh no,” Jody said. “Please don’t tell me you’re adding someone else to my ‘Wayward Home for Girls’. I don’t have enough rooms for this, Sam.”

He laughed once again. “Oh no, Y/N’s staying with us.”

“Wayward Home for Girl’s?” you asked, unable to stop your curiosity.

She approached you with a kind smile. “Oh yeah. Sam here occasionally offers an oasis at my house to teenage girl’s who no longer have homes. My door is always open, of course, but it’s expensive.”

Sam sent her an apologetic smile and you laughed. “I see. Well no, I’m not homeless, not yet anyway. I guess that Sam could kick me out at any minute, but he hasn’t yet. I’m here to help.”

“Great,” she said. “Let’s get to work, then.”

~ ~ ~

“Work” was four hours of running through records of strange deaths involving people being stuck into the ground with large spires.

According to Sam, this was very similar to some of the things he had seen in apocalypse world, except the spires shot out of the ground, instead of into the ground.

You and Jack weren’t helping very much, research-wise. While Jody listed off the people who had been hit with these spires, Sam ran through their records looking for similarities between them, or reasons Michael might go after them, and Cas was searching angel radio for signs, either from Michael or the other angels. Jack was supposed to be doing that too, but he spent his whole time distracting you. You were supposed to be looking for lore behind spires and the meaning for killing people like this, but you were being distracted.

Jack started playing this game. He was making weird faces, hoping to get you to laugh. As stupid as it was, you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling a few times, which caused Sam to scold you for not paying attention. But, Jack was determined to make you actually laugh, not just chuckle.

You were trying desperately to focus on your book when Jody jumped forward, startled. “Wait. There’s been another.”

“Another death?” Sam asked.

She nodded. “It was a little over thirty minutes ago. Hold on… Sam… Look at this.”

They huddled over the laptop while you looked to Jack, confused, but all he did was lean forward, resting his head in his hands.

“Jack?” You turned to Cas, but he was doing the same thing.

Sam peered up from the laptop and looked between the two boys as they both slowly came out of their haze and looked to each other.

“Another angel is dead,” Cas said firmly. Your eyes darted to Jack for confirmation, but he didn’t say anything. He wore the same stoic face as Castiel.

“Yeah. We know,” Sam said finally.

“What? Since when?” you asked, not putting all the pieces together.

“Check out this picture.”

You walked around to take a look at what Jody had just found.

The photo was of the most recent murder. In front of you was a woman in a white and grey suit. There was a large, grey spire protruding from her chest. And around her, burned into the concrete, were two large wings.

“So what does that leave?” you asked. “Six angels? Seven?”

Cas shrugged. “I don’t know. But if Michael is taking out angels now… We’re basically extinct.”

You sighed. “Sam, tell me you have good news in your research.”

Sam shook his head. “You?”

“Nothing.”

“So what? We’ve got nothing?”

A heavy silence hung over the room as they all absorbed your statement. A day that had started with such high hopes was suddenly even more hopeless than the rest. Most people stared down at their hands, unsure what else to do, but Jack’s eyes wandered, observing the faces of the people around him. Finally, he cleared his throat.

“Here’s what I learned, when I was in the apocalypse world.”

Everyone looked up at him, ready to grasp the small sliver of hope he was bound to offer.

“-Michael is after anyone who opposes him. He would kill anyone he considered a rebel, which is basically all of humanity. He created his army out of angels, because the were the only people he trusted not to cross him. They all held the same ideals as him, because he was their leader. Now, it isn’t much, but if he plans to do the same here, I think his first order of business would be to prove himself as the new leader.”

You were surprised, you didn’t normally see Jack so serious.

“Okay… Good! That’s a perfect start. So, do you think Michael’s marking his territory perhaps? Going after people he sees as threats?” You turned to Sam and he shrugged, turning back to his laptop. “Okay, and the angel? If he wants to use them for his army, why would he kill one? Surely he knows they’re on short supply.”

Cas offered up an answer. “Oh, well that’s Elhlin. She would have never complied to his army idea. She was probably just another threat to him.”

You snapped your fingers. “Good leverage too. ‘You don’t want to join? Fine. Look what I’ve done to this angel.’ People wouldn’t argue then.”

“Aha!” Sam cried.

“What?”

“The first victim: Lester Kent. He was a preacher. Supposedly a few months before he died, he was quoted saying things like, ‘we all can be like the angels’ and ‘the angels are flawed creatures too’.”

You jumped at this news. “Perfect! He’s denouncing the high pedestal Michael’s trying to put the angel’s on.”

“Oh! I’ve got something!” Jody shot up too, pushing her computer in front of your face. “Daisy Howarth. She was a hunter. Apparently a while ago she was known to target angels who were asking people to be their vessels.”

You nodded. “So there is a pattern.”

“But how can we track something like that?” Sam asked you.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe we can’t. But we do know what he’s looking for in a victim now. So… perhaps we find someone he’ll go after. Use them as bait.”

“Me,” Jack said. “He wants me. We need to make me obvious and he’ll come.”

You shook your head. “You’re not strong enough for that, Jack. And maybe… maybe he’ll try to recruit you, not kill you. We need you on the sidelines ready to attack, not in front of the jaws of an…” You froze, an idea striking you. You didn’t like it. You really didn’t like it, but it was exactly what you needed.

“What’s up, Y/N?” Sam asked.

“The downfall of the angels.” It was quiet, barely a whisper.

“What?” Sam asked, but Jack heard you.

“No, Y/N. You can’t be serious.”

“Is there any other way?”

“What are you talking about?” Sam tried again.

“It’s me,” you explained. “The prophecy. I’m going to be ‘the downfall of the angels’. He’ll go after me. I can do something stupid, cause some sort of havoc. He’ll come check it out right away, and then, I cast a tracking spell. Once he knows what I am, he’ll follow me. I’m stronger than Jack right now, so I can protect myself, and you guys can make a plan of attack. But then, we’ll finally know how to get to him.”

“Y/N, you can’t put yourself on the line-”

“Jack’s right Y/N. What happens if we can’t get to you in time?”

“You will still have Michael. Once that tracking spell is done, why does it matter what happens to me?”

“We need you to cast the separation spell-”

“You said you had some other friend who could do it. You really don’t need me, Sam. But we can’t put Jack out there. Or you. Or Cas. He’ll know its a trap. Michael and Dean don’t know me. They won’t suspect I’m helping you.”

There was a pause. No one in the room spoke. For a moment you could feel everyone’s emotions in a large wave. Jody was lost. She didn’t yet know what you were, but she wasn’t going to argue. Cas was determined. He was set to get Dean back with any means necessary. Sam was conflicted. He didn’t want to put you in danger and risk your life, but he couldn’t argue with your logic. And Jack was mad.

“Good,” you said, knowing full well that not everyone was on board. “Now then, tomorrow we set off. I’m going to need the ingredients to a tracking spell, some holy oil, and someone to drive me out of state. I’m thinking a city-wide power outage. That’s sure to get a lot of attention by the supernatural forces.”

You began to leave, as you finished up your spiel. “You boys be prepared. As soon as I’m done, I’ll send you the tracker. Get on your plan. I’d really rather not die by being speared into the ground by a giant concrete spire.”

Once you were out of the room, you took a giant, deep breath. Okay Y/N. Get it together. You need to be ready.

You took another step towards your room when Jack walked into the hallway. “Y/N.”

Keep it together. He’s angry. If you start to freak out he’ll call off the plan immediately.

“Hi Jack.”

“Y/N, please don’t do this.”

You sucked in a breath. He sounded scared. He was worried about you… But there was no time to dwell on it.

“Jack, I have to. It’s our best option. Don’t worry about me, okay?”

He struggled to meet your eyes, and clenched his jaw. “Y/N, I promised I’d look after you.”

“I can look after myself,” you reassured him. “I’ll be fine.”

You turned and left before he could say anything else.

Tags: @sophiasescape @iris-suoh @random-stupid-stuffs @themaddonesblog

(If you want to be added to the tag list, just send me a message to let me know!)

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x22 watching notes

I already miss Bobo

(sometimes I can still hear his voice)

It's 7:15 and I have yoga in a bit and the sun is shining directly on my screen where my cheap ass curtains don't meet but I am gonna start watching because what is flow and continuity in tone to these writers anyways. This is a "may as well rip the plaster off" sort of start.

Regular readers of my notes will know exactly how thrilled I was to have BL handling the big character driven everyone in the same room clusterfuck this episode promises to be and lil update: since then the promos have reassured me that nope they don't have tone or nuance and we're in for some quality characterisation.

This is a damage control set of notes, I assume.

-

Blah blah plot recap. They cut the conversation from 13x20 to just Sam n Dean talking about going into the apocalypse world, then "we'll die together" which I can't work out in this context (I'm hoping against hope the recap isn't dictated by BL and TJW is cobbling it together) is irony that Sam then went and died, alone, or a yet-to-come omen of the end of the season. At least BL are handing us over to Dabb for the end of season nonsense so I have to rely on him having a wacky emu war of 1932 hits the present day through Shenanigans sort of season 14 premise to build up and fling at us to make us forget all this.

-

I love Sam's "we're gonna drain you" speech layered over everyone dramatically walking into apocalypse world.

-

Christ for half a sec I thought they were gonna recap Gabriel in Cas's crotch

-

Did Lucifer only start calling Rowena "Red" when he was Vince or is that something I missed from season 11? Because hearing boring ass Lucifer say it just makes me miss when he was Vince.

-

this is such a full recap of 13x21 I'm basically just writing fresh episode notes for it

-

I don't think I saw anyone talk about how cool it was when Dean shot a vampire and exploded its head off. Like, understandably Sam was dead and it was a high-pressure situation but

-

ALSO Cas says "he's gone" and he sure as hell didn't mean "I can't find him" he meant "Sam's dead" but that euphemism landed Cas so much fandom flak for not looking for Sam I am starting to feel like he should have just said "I saw eight vampires chowing down on every part of him they could reach" and traded Dean's feelings for clarity.

...

I love that Cas has evolved as a character to the point he uses a gentle euphemism to spare Dean's feelings because there was once a harsher version of Cas that would have said that.

-

Are they going to recap the whole Lucifer conversation

-

I mean it means we can't judge Sam at all for what he did

-

HUGS

-

Mary's like holy shit he's really here, all shaky hands and scared to touch him. Good. She was criticised so much from the promo for not caring, I'm gonna gif that in extreme slow mo close up if I get even one (1) pissy anon about her

-

Dean hangs back, knowing that Sam walking in with Lucifer can NOT be good news, and asking "what happened" is basically already knowing what happened

Oh good we already have "I didn't watch the last episode despite the 40 minute recap" syndrome.

Just quickly to get us up to that point - Lucifer is playing all benevolent when Sam says "he brought me back" with the due horror of the situation. Cas, with Jack at his side, also glaring father-like-son, says "that's not what you do" in defiance of what Lucifer has done - good to call him out for his personality traits not matching his actions, e.g. there's always a catch and we know it, but to Jack if there is to be conflict, is in the face of Lucifer's actions and we're manufacturing that TFW judge Lucifer harsher than he deserves. Even when we know Lucifer said that he'd take Jack by force and Sam is pretty much protecting Jack to take this bargain.

Anyway. Cas asks "how did you get in here" perhaps in the assumption a: they're in a walled compound rather than open woodland with perimeter guards and b: that Gabriel didn't melt all the warding last episode meaning it's not even open woodland with perimeter guards and anti-angel warding, it's just a big ass open space that they strolled into. The implication in Cas's words is that it should have been much harder for Lucifer to show up, that this place is better defended, to the point of bafflement about that. It's a smaller thing, but it's irksome because I know BL don't read the other episodes because they've literally said it in interviews, which makes stray details stand out like a sore thumb, especially when characters sound stupider than they should - rephrasing this "why are you here" or "what's going on" would be a neutral way of asking without mis-characterising the situation or having it come across just... slightly odd. Just seems to be an implication that Lucifer didn't just stroll between the trees and through an open gate as his arrival and more specifically, that there were wards or barriers that could have done anything to stop him, and Cas is talking like it's inconcievable he got past them all - what all? :P

-

Lucifer says "VIP pass - I'm with the band!" which is extra hilarious that I was missing Vincifer a minute ago, because it's downgraded him from that rock god status he wanted, and now he's acting like the whiny groupie and Sam is the rockstar, TFW and family the band, and Lucifer is desperate to get in with them. Of course the Vincifer arc revealed that Lucifer never was a rock god, a year before he fails at actually being God for the exact same personality flaws, but at this point the acknowledgement is pretty much just for kicks and giggles because seeing him mocked amuses me. Seeing him have to admit there's a higher order he wants in with and TFW etc are more important than him and this is like, backhanded grovelling... yeah.

-

As soon as Lucifer redirects his attention to Jack, Dean comes storming in. Of course Sam is excluding himself from this conversation in raw shame and I can't even look at his face because it is the Worst(TM) but now we have Cas, Dean and Uncle Gabe defending Jack (BL politely not writing any Gabriel dialogue yet and every minute they don't is a minute I don't have a migraine so thanks guys, appreciate it.) and Dean sounds extremely protectively fatherly and Cas is also then weighing in with parental authority... Yeah, last episode Rowena said all 3 of them were Jack's fathers and it's a different dynamic from Claire but I like seeing Cas and Dean as a parent team and I won't apologise for that :P

But, again, Jack is only 7-8 months old with a still tuning moral compass, a teenager disposition, and Cas and Dean are making parental decrees about who he can talk to, and catching him in the middle of a fight over the right to have access to him without asking his opinion. It could possibly be more frustration over that than genuine desire to meet Lucifer that upsets Jack.

Because he's still like *SCOWL* at Lucifer, still being framed with Cas. Cas says he's "kelly kline's son" and I love that Cas continually reminds Lucifer that Jack had a mother too, and that for all her terrible writing in season 12 at the very least we established "human" and "generically nice and loving towards her baby" as traits to call on :P I like that Cas is determined to emphasise where Jack gets his personality from, and that Cas doesn't define Jack by his powers. But that is ignoring that Jack HAS powers and that does factor into his life in a... rather major way... especially as the way he's been flung around so far he's had so little time to develop a personality outside of having powers, except for Sam encouraging him to watch movies and TV to foster a shared taste before Dean could think to twist Jack to his cruel purpose and have another vote on movie night in his favour, so now it's Sam n Jack vs Dean n Cas and -

Anyway. I'm procrastinating.

Lucifer emphasising that he has powers, even if he gets carried away describing how ruthlessly he uses them, is a way of connecting with Jack that no one else dared, when in 13x06 all of TFW are just like, shit, when I had magic powers I unleashed Lucifer/went on a megalomaniac God rampage/hooked up with Crowley, and immediately all get too ashamed of themselves to sit Jack down and have The Talk so he freaked out and left and tl;dr that's how we're here.

Just, like, shit, show him all 3 Spiderman films where Uncle Ben tells Peter "with great power comes great responsibility", and you're set, guys. Sheesh.

-

"No. Kill him."

*Gabriel side-eye reaction shot with no dialogue but a fascinated amusehorror about what's going on*

I'm starting to get the feeling BL just plain forgot Gabriel was in this episode, but the rest of the peeps involved were like, uh, he's in this episode because where else would he be, so Speight just came to set like he was supposed to, and hung out in all the scenes as appropriate.

I will now watch and interpret this episode based on that fact.

-

Sorry, Jack's going through a lot of conflict because Dean just point blank ordered him to melt his biological father on the spot, and I'm bitching about how someone forgot to add any pointers for Gabriel's existence into the script, not even in a character stan way, just in a sheer disbelief way, because of my horror of this being an episode with double digit named important characters in it and all in one location and being handled by the writers who can't even deal with Sam and Dean having distinct personalities in a scene with 3 characters half the time.

-

Okay, Gabriel ad libbed a "Dean" in there. I'm assuming after like 3 minutes of contact he's quite chuffed to have a nephew and knows Dean can be too harsh so he was being protective.

-

But yeah, of course it was Dean getting too angry about Lucifer (rightfully too angry, but still, emotionally mis-handling it) and making Jack disappear that sets this off, because Lucifer can just be a hub of chaos based on his reputation and act chill in the knowledge it will infuriate everyone around him into acting irrationally. Dean's been especially anxious and angry this recent year - and is building up to something awful perhaps if he is possessed by the end of the season - so it makes sense with his history of acting irrationally and being harsh on Jack from the start of the season that at the end he causes this.

Look, I'm complimenting character choices as much as being baffled by them, but what is clear is I need to be this in depth to have a chance in hell of grappling this episode >.>

-

Long shot where everyone just stands there in mute horror and Cas is the only one who looks around like he might see Jack hiding in a tree.

Remember back in 9x11 where I was like... did they just confirm he can see through walls... and literally no one ever replied to me about this hypothesis because it was too batshit? Well I am gonna have to assume that Cas looking around like that would only make sense if he can X-ray vision Jack hiding nearby >.>

-

Dean's like "He does that when he's scared. Way to go, dad!" despite the fact he was the one responsible for scaring Jack - I mean, Jack is probably FREAKED OUT about Lucifer showing up in general, but Dean's reaction is upsetting as well, especially when he's already emotionally in a bad place and now Dean is asking too much of him.

This episode is where all the stuff about fatherhood lands, and Jack is playing Dean and possibly Sam, while Sam, Dean, Cas and Lucifer are probably all playing shades of John Winchester.

It's a shame Lucifer changed his clothes because the Nick vessel was wearing up to a point always the same clothes that John had been wearing last time we saw JDM on screen, and that was a subtextual "brrr" about Lucifer in season 5 - that he was mirroring John in some ways.

We got enough parents here that they could literally all play, like, a seven deadly sin or something of John's.

Dean, of course, playing explosive anger. Sam seeming at the moment to play the part that shut down in horror and wasn't there for his boys and made all the bad choices for good reasons that exposed them to the bad stuff. Lucifer playing the abusive side that manipulates, uses as bait, and was in general dangerous - the John that Dean thinks of in 5x16 when not saying what he did when Sam ran away. Cas is playing the side that truly loved his boys, but saw their mother in them and there has been plenty of analysis of how this messed up the dynamic in any way from John withdrawing from Dean for reminding him too much to the parentification thing.

-

Gabriel is like, I'm not meant to be in this episode, so I'll just... go look for Jack... to explain why I was not in the following conversation.......

-

Lucifer drops the parent thing as soon as Jack is gone and switches to saying they "need" him to use against Michael, while bragging he "beat" him (good to know his ego and lying remains intact - the same boasting that got him in trouble with Heaven when he said he could make new angels and give them their wings back).

Cas immediately does the most #married thing I've ever seen him do to Dean - the "we're on a hike together and I want the trail mix in your bag honey so i'm just gonna open it up and get it out while we stand here" thing.

But with handcuffs.

Look, Dean n Cas are special and perfect in a way no one else can get on their level and sometimes it's because this is their dynamic.

-

Anyway Cas is being a BAMF to Lucifer and that is a good and important part of his characterisation this season.

Not Taking Shit!Castiel

or

as I call him

Party!Cas

-

I can literally see a manifestation of Jared that has left his body in distress, wrapped around Sam in a hug, as he's forced to casually ask Lucifer a question on screen that he didn't ask at any point on their hike down here but now the scene is about everyone else who was standing around watching (except Gabriel, who was never in this scene) so Sam gets to butt in with a question that literally anyone else would have been better suited to ask for both character and mechanical reasons.

-

Oh that "31 hours" thing was a total lie because of course Lucifer did no such thing. He knows the rift will probably close in either 24 from when it was opened or 24 from when he was punted through it, but that telling them a number that seems to add up that it's from then but plus an extra dose of grace, means they will let it close and they'll all be stuck here, and that's a tomorrow!Lucifer problem and in the mean time he can utterly fuck them over by thinking that they have a comfortable window to operate in. The countdown is meaningless, however. It all depends on if Rowena can strengthen and stabilise the portal on her end, and nothing else.

-

I love how the contracts are set up in such a way we got all the main stars, "And" Misha, and then we get all the guest stars, "And" Felicia Day. Also this episode is an over-stuffed mess.

-

RO RO

I didn't think she'd be in this episode, but we see her hard at work with... bagpipe music playing in her head/the Bunker's sound system? *shrugs, moves on* - anyway, either dramatic irony or Buckleming literally are working on the 31 hours thing depending on how much they read about other episodes. I hope dramatic irony. This is a dialogue-less insert so it's very possible TJW stuck it in to help.

-

"Are you good?" "I'm alive, yeah."

guys, you fuckers know "alive" ain't the same as "good" but in this case Sam's consequences for being alive are the chaos playing out with Lucifer and Jack so that's like... whatever, we can deal with it, so yeah he IS good, and no he doesn't have anything to apologise for, and in a way this is all fairly straightforward so yay!

Now hug

Oh shit, that never normally works

HUGS

\o/

-

"What are we gonna do about Lucifer?" "I'll handle it. I will, Dean. Let me handle it."

THE POWER OF HUGS. YOU RIDE THAT DOPAMINE RELEASE, YOU BRAVE BEAUTIFUL MOOSE

-

I feel like I spoke this episode into being by complaining "not enough hugs" as my tagline for last episode.

-

Anyway Sam is doing WELL because sure he is a guilt ridden bloodstained mess but he has inner strength and outer beauty so he can do this.

-

And Dean says "okay"

Which holy hell is a character growth of utter, sincere trust in Sam. Not that he wouldn't trust him because, you know, in some ways every moment of character growth is "we already covered this in the opening scene of 5x22 where we sat on the car and had a huge BM" because Kripke spitefully wrapped up the entire story pretty much to piss off every future showrunner when it came to deciding how to write Sam and Dean going forwards. But in the sense that Dean is trusting Sam not to turn this into a ridiculous tragedy again, perhaps. Since that BM was about Dean allowing Sam to die for the cause - as I've been following with Gabriel, I think there's a probable theme of learning to LIVE for the cause now, through a character whose main trait is to die to solve the cause and then run away and not deal with consequences, over and over. And Sam would embody it well to confront Lucifer with a desire to live and not to self-sacrifice, but to fix this so that their family can go home and have a belated pizza birthday party for Sam. FOR SAM.

You aspire to that pizza party, you magnificent moose. Get selfish. YOU DESERVE PIZZA. YOU'RE ALL INVITED

(Except Gabriel)

-

Nougat!

"Hi Jack, I'm your mom!" At the end of the season we're getting back to all the stuff that has been shoved down since the start. Jack has accumulated more parental figures than he knows what to do with and now he has to sort out how he feels about them, and how much each influences him.

Cas, his father who was supposed to be his guiding figure, the person he was searching for from the moment he stumbled naked and Bambi-like into our world (oh shit he's Bambi, shit. Stay away from Bobby!!) insists that he is most like Kelly, who only Cas can vouch for as a fellow person with a, like, personality, because hell knows if we or any of the other characters spent any time with her :P Cas is supposedly Jack's trustworthy rock, and his insistence that Jack is most influenced by Kelly rings true to the sympathetic audience who sees Jack as a nougat-centred boy. Named by his mother, of course.

"No one would blame you if one day you went looking for your dad" have they been holding this back since 13x23? I feel like this was all recorded then and they set up Jack's arc based around it. Because now he is flashing back to memories of Lucifer bound circa 12x13 or 12x15 when he was calling out to Jack in the womb (while dressed in those John Winchester duds). And in 13x09 they used this in a recap before the episode, and I was like this ain't the last we heard of it, and sure enough all the pressures that have been on Jack since before he was born are finally being addressed one way or another. Having held back the lines from Kelly - his Cas-approved moral beacon - telling him that there's nothing wrong with at least looking for your bio father no matter how much of a prick he may turn out to be - means that this is a pressure that's been on him since 13x03 and despite the fears in 13x09 that he was looking for Lucifer with this in the recap to remind us that Lucifer had been exerting his will on Jack since the womb... Now that Lucifer has found Jack, it's KELLY telling him that it's okay to at least be curious about him in a way that presumably resonates a lot with adopted kids who may have always known they had a terrible bio father but still felt curious/that pressure internally or externally to investigate their roots if only to find out who they themselves are...

I feel like this is an all the cards on the table moment, in any case - something Dabb set up about Jack which has been the secret behind the season, something only Jack knew up to this point, even from us the viewer, and we have been the most active participants in the story this season.

"Jack, don't let anyone tell you who you're supposed to be. You are who you choose to be."

Kelly has all the best words.

But yeah, this may not work well in the context that Lucifer has come seemingly in peace, Sam is hanging his head in shame, knowing the terms of Lucifer's non-violence are that Sam doesn't reveal that Lucifer was gonna storm in and steal Jack, and only making it easy for Lucifer to have access maintains his peace - that same peace in turn which sows the conflict simply by Lucifer existing there.

It plays into Lucifer's game that everyone who he has abused and or killed is there acting with justified rage at his presence, and telling Jack how to react to it based on their past experience. But Nougat is 7 months old and can not make these calls. Which means Kelly's words are now ones of conflict instead of the comfort that he's been choosing to be good and heroic like the real and fictional characters he wished to emulate.

-

Now we move on to Sam, the first living voice of comfort. "Maybe I'm not worth all this." "Your mom thought you were," Sam says, using her as a bridge from the parental authority (and he's also the one who brought her words to Jack). "So did Cas, so do I." It's building these steps of people Jack knows love him, the moral authorities he looks to, to Sam next. Sam's death worked so well last episode not just because of what it did to Dean, or even how the Lucifer thing was so wonderfully tuned both in Sam's personal arc to be in that room with him and the vampires, but also that Sam is the most hurt by and connected to Lucifer but he's the one walking him into the camp. But also that Sam was the one who reached out to Jack first of the living parents he encountered in life, and therefore caring for Sam and being upset by his death was such a horrible thing for Jack to experience, where we see his anger with Dean, Cas and Gabriel for not bringing Sam to him alive.

We get the montage where Jack's powers were in their early stage, harming people at random, and Sam empathised because of all he'd been through with his own powers. A connection that was so hugely imporant to both of them, that Sam could even start to guide Jack through who he was and how he was related to his powers, and feeling that he didn't belong.

Now we get Jack's mess up where they rushed in to Michael's place, and Kevin self-destructed everyone but him and Mary, and his connection to her - the grandmother sacred object to save and protect because she is Loved and Good and this is how all the men he knows relate to her. (I have talked about how Jack's represented accidentally ingrained toxic masculinity before >.>)

-

And the scene changes at this point, leaving us with Jack's reflection on not just his powers, but his own personality, and who he is supposed to be, whether it's his choice, his genetics, or just who he is in some intangible cursed way where he hurts people and all around him his choices lead to pain. And how much could Sam's guidance and trust help when even up to last week he was still getting people killed... Bleh.

-

Since it keeps on working... Someone hug that nougat child by the end of this ep?

-

Promo scene, now with context!

"Hey momma," Lucifer says, also defining Mary only by her relationship to her sons, and his own creepy interest in her.

She punches him because she is more than just momma

Cas continues to be a BAMF Party!Cas in the background but very in the background, hauling Lucifer away with a sharp word.

-

(Incidentally that means everyone from the opening was in this scene, except Gabriel, who they forgot to write into this episode.)

-

So this is post-shower Sam, and I'm gonna assume that he's either dressed in Bobby's clothes or dressed alike to Bobby, and either way it continues the Lazarus Rising parallels to Lucifer's creepy resurrection of Sam after he was dragged away underground after being torn apart in front of his brother - when Dean got back he wore Bobby's clothes for the first part of the episode. Finding Sam new clothes from AU!Bobby's wardrobe both puts him into this military camo jacket which almost certainly has some symbolic relevance at some point but at the very least is important for now that Sam's resolved to deal with Lucifer, and also just has the connection to Bobby.

-

Anyway now Mary has to break the news that she's planning to stay, after spending months defending and fighting for these people and very much getting embedded in the fight.

Dean looks on blankly, Sam shifts like he's realised what she's going to say as soon as she says "about that..."

-

And now we have that "need" thing again. Lucifer just said these people needed him to fight. Mary now says they need her too, for the same reason. One of them is probably a LIL MORE SINCERE than the other.

but Dean turns that into "we need you, mom. *WE* do." because she's the thing he needed the most, and this entire process is playing out now about how that even affects them.

And that "we" is sincere because the thing is, Dean might have learned a few times over that is sucks not to have Mary but as horrible as it is, he CAN cope without her but still hasn't been given a chance to fully actualise that in a healthy environment where Mary is not wildly endangered and dangled out of his reach for true character development (in much the same way his shit with Cas has been hovering on the edge since, like, season 8), but Sam - Sam needs her. Every time they lost a chance to find her, he slumped into utter despair. He only kept going as long as he did at the start of the season on the belief she could be retrieved and was alive, and his depression has been a strongly flagged thing since the midseason where he struggled with it bad enough he was having depression sleeps in 13x11, and 13x14 showed how bad it was, and his despair and desperation have been oozing off him.

Dean knows how much they need to bring Mary and Jack back, for SAM.

(Which is why I think there's something horribly disingenous about thinking Mary can just be written off to stay in the AU... Which is fine if you don't like Mary and don't think to look at it through the POV of how her being alive-ness has been wrecking Sam for TWO SEASONS now and taking her away again to teach Dean a lesson he's been through three times already (one of them being the entire run of the show 1-11) about how to lose his mother, just hurts Sam an incredible amount. He deserves that fucking pizza party, and he wants his mother to be more than a mirage that an alarm clock can shatter. And sure the story may not grant this wish instantly, but it's dreadful to want her gone for good because that will harm Sam on a MOLECULAR LEVEL to have an alive and well Mary teased in front of him but never to have her. We need to hold on to her returning in some solid way so that she can throw him a damn birthday party)

-

Ew, Lucifer calls Cas "old sport" fuck off with that, Gatsby.

"I am not your sport" he may misinterpret the reference (come the fuck on, Metatron must have read that book) but he does it in a way that at least gets in a sharp statement of party!Cas's new line of taking no shit.

But before he can decree for certain that he will not let Lucifer near Jack, refusing to accept Sam's deal without even really knowing that this WAS the deal, Jack shows up because he's at the very least taking some agency in all this.

And at this point, my nervous eyeballing of the clock suggests it is time I go to yoga. D:

-

I hope Gabriel shows up at some point again. The fact that he was gone looking for Jack but Jack has now been "found" by turning up voluntarily means that Gabriel vanished completely pointlessly unless they were just moving him out of the way because he's not in this episode :P

-

"Speak of the not-Devil" - in 13x09 they played on this with a "speak of the devil" preceding Jack's entrance. As usual, Buckleming taking a clever line someone else used, and turning it around in a way that's just a bit too silly and contrived >.>

-

"Son." "it's Jack."

Good. Please keep Lucifer at that arms' length. Regret will only come if you let him in >.>

-

"It's not a good idea to talk to him." "i'm not going to talk, I'm going to listen"

Sweetie, that's even worse. I know you're curious but oh boy Lucifer is evil, unredeemable and a master manipulator. I know what Jack means - he's not opening a dialogue, he just wants to hear what Lucifer would say to him, and not talking indicates hearing him out without weighing his words with any critical weight, but on the other hand, it can come across that he's going to sit and let Lucifer fill his head with whatever, without arguing or reasoning what he says, and it depends on how much you think Jack can resist being taken in by it

And in this scenario Lucifer's smugness and everyone else's horror of the situation already has a strong weight. We can HOPE that Jack prevails but I'm nervous that Lucifer might exert some magical influence over him as much as I feel like a season worth of Jack nearly is enough to make me feel like we are supposed to trust his instinct to be good, unaltered. If there is to be tension about it, that has to be affected.

-

Oh dear, now Dean's ranting to Mary about what he and Sam have been through, saying "we" about every statement, including "we've been possessed" but isn't it true that almost nothing has ever possessed Dean except a few small MotW moments of control? We statements possibly creating a dramatic irony gap to fill with Dean being possessed, if he is.

He says they never walk away ever, even when they should have, which is acknowledging at least that there were times when with hindsight they should have left each other well enough alone. Thing is he's talking about how he and Sam clung to each other when it was just them, but for Mary it's not about walking away from family here, it's about walking away from this war where people are being killed and she has been helping them to save people and to fight back against the angels. To her, leaving now just because there's a door back to her old universe - which she has felt adrift in ever since she was resurrected - is walking away. And this is a cause she can believe in far more than the bad cause she got in with the BMoL. There's a very very clear right and wrong here.

Dean is trying to argue that this isn't a fight that they can win, that Apocalypse World is doomed, and they're just going to have to leave it to its fate.

-

Sam is inclined to listen to Mary more often anyways, went with her on the BMoL thing, and this time reads it as her making up her mind, rather than her being right - he is telling Dean the argument is not worth it, rather than immediately that he understands where Mary is coming from. More than he has seen how Mary feels. I hope he says they should stay and help.

"Mom doesn't to leave these people."

...

"So let's take them with us."

-

I mean. I guess it works???

You just going to empty all the survivors of this war into another universe???

This feels... unsustainable.

-

Oh okay he wants to get them out the way long enough to work out how to fight Michael, then to come back and fight the fight. More like, the portal is the time pressure here, and on the other side of it is safety and resources and time to think.

Except for everyone who they can't take with them in the first place.

This episode is titled "Exodus" so I mean it COULD end up being about this exact thing, or that's referring to some other thing and this is just a concept they're floating but not what ends up happening. If they set off with the entire camp, they're going to be very vulnerable.

-

Anyway seems Mary likes the plan?

And she looks proud of Sam so that's something.

-

Dean says they've got 9 busting out. Uh, were they planning on taking AU Charlie and Bobby back with them? I am genuinely confused because the core team is 6, and they should PROBABLY not litter the AU and take Lucifer back with them so 7... Maybe Ketch if they take back everyone from their world who shouldn't be there? But who is 9??

-

Mary says 25 people which is not like... a whole army at least. I'm legit confused about the numbers, especially as it seems like more than 25 people at the camp, never mind that Mary was talking in 13x20 about how many people they had to look after now. I don't know, maybe it's just how many extras they could convince to come/plausibly film. But it's weird to me that this whole thing is... well, a thing.

-

Okay so Jack is all resolutely glaring at Lucifer, and Cas is allowed to hang out and stand there watching, so I guess this is ... something at least between them.

-

Mrghhh I hate Buckleming dialogue so much especially when Lucifer is saying it. Starting with "I don't know what to say" is admitting writing weakness, that they didn't have a hook or enough sense of the characters for them to come up with any declaration or question or comment that would have been more meaningful. Even just a sense of drama to have Lucifer introduce himself and Jack to immediately ask his first question.

"Why does everyone hate you?"

Because you SUCK

Also: apparently no one wants to tell Jack in graphic detail all the pain and suffering that Lucifer has inflicted to them personally >.>

And then, Lucifer said, yeah we've been waiting for this moment all season in a way, but not only is his blathering on but then when asked a hard question, it turns into an excuse to make him say "fake news" and sure the comparing him to Trump thing is funny a few times (I mean he was literally possessing a president when Jack was conceived) but it's taking tension out of this moment entirely. This should be for Jack, and he doesn't deserve this awful writing where nothing Lucifer says matters, because he's just rambling on in generalities and answers which sound like all the moaning he's ever moaned about.

Like, yeah, sorry kiddo, your bio dad is a whining whiner who has had the same line about how misunderstood he is as long as we've known him, which he usually says when standing on a literal pile of corpses he made while complaining no one gets him and everyone typecasts him as evil.

But yeah, Jack's question is just met with rubbish being spewed, instead of Lucifer even trying to explain the misunderstandings he's had personally with TFW

-

He's just talking about how humans suck and are easily led into temptation instead of focussing on why he feels the need to do that.

-

Oh him talking about Kelly to Jack is absolutely revolting. I'm confiscating the nougat child and BL can have him back when they earn him.

Thank goodness Cas is here to scowl at Lucifer for us.

"That's a vast over-simplification" thanks buddy.

But yeah he's right, the point is that Lucifer is talking in ways where he can rabbit on about ethics and shit without falling into real human pain. He doesn't talk about how his betrayed Kelly's trust, tried to kill her, or sent a minion to harass her while calling her the container. He talks about how awesome it was to kiss her. (And not even getting into him cheerfully talking about losing his virginity to Kelly like it was some sweet first love thing rather than rape by deception and some new gross evil he had discovered was a horrible thing to do to people.)

-

Also, fuck Buckleming for pretending they can stump Cas with "I was locked up for eternity so how did I do all this evil?" we literally have seen how. It's called the plot of the fucking show.

It's ethics as angels would learn it 101.

WE FUCKING MET GADREEL A FEW YEARS AGO, MAYBE ASK HIM

-

Cain who?

-

AZAZEL? You fuckers killed the last YED like 4 weeks ago

-

Fuck you entirely

-

That is in ratio of intelligence and easy answer on hand to presented moment, the biggest stupidity drop they've ever made. And that's saying something.

-

Somewhere Edlund is clutching his head and he doesn't know why but he doesn't feel so good.

-

ABBADON?

-

So, there's this place called "hell"...

-

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmrgghghhghghgfghfgghfhaskjfhaskjghfsjlasdjaghfs paskfh;asdgkflsdjg sgkjhlfk gha

-

Well, the zen from yoga lasted all of like 4 minutes of episode

-

Anyway now we have to deal with Lucifer's hurr blurr about waaah God locked me up because I stood up for myself and told the truth, which, again. One note character. He met Chuck and didn't even change. Rowena got more character development out of meeting Chuck than Lucifer did. Heck, I think even Cas got a little personal satisfaction just from ignoring him and finding a clearer sense that his path doesn't lie with God's validation.

And then he starts talking about how garbage humans are and we get Cas's reaction because Cas loves humanity, and Lucifer is like "he loved humans so much he couldn't see their flaws" and Cas is like excuse you I tell Dean to get his muddy boots off the chairs in the Bunker like six times a day but I still fucking married him."

-

But telling Jack how humans suck is not, like, the best path, because Jack has spent a lot of time bonding with humans.

-

"I had my reasons, I just want the opportunity to get better" dude, you are so the abusive fuckwad of a drunk father who comes stumbling in late to the kid's life, promising to do better while in no way capable of it because mean and selfish person...

-

Jack's micro nod to wanting to do better shows that despite every indication that this was one of the worst written conversations ever, Lucifer has somehow manipulated him with this nugget that Jack feels like he wants to be a good person and Lucifer's promise he wants to be a better person is affecting him, and A: Alex is a great actor to try and sell this and B: honestly Jack falling for that garbage rant is like... the second biggest stupidity drop ever >.>

-

Cas is like, fuck this entire concept you fucking fuckers, I'm out of here to go sit with Gabriel wherever he is. We're gonna... go skip rocks.

-

Nope, Cas went for emotional back up, seeing that Jack was starting to be suckered in by this and decided he needed Sam, Dean and Mary to come Winchester some sense into Jack

-

Uncle Gabriel is having a great side adventure

He is probably doing the equivalent of End!Cas in this camp.

-

Ew they're sitting together, just chilling ew ew ew ew ew

Lucifer going on about how Jack's grandfather is literally God, trying to stir a little egomania in Jack.

Remember in 13x07 when he was so excited to know if Jack killed anyone? If he had a killer instinct?

-

Yay Dean comes to shout at Jack and Lucifer, I have never been happier to tick the Everyone Is Irrationally Angry BL Bingo Square.

-

"Dean, he's in chains." "His mouth isn't."

That's the good side of Buckleming banter. Have we swapped writers?

-

"I need to know about my powers. My family." "Jack, we are your family."

Oh no, Cas is starting to sound a bit desperate. Pleading with Jack to remember he's their family. I don't wike it *hands Cas a blanket*

-

Sam showing up like, "You have no idea who Lucifer really is"

Like, I know it's horrible but could you go into graphic detail right about now?

Or... is he still bound by the promise to let Lucifer see Jack?

-

"Jack..." "Dean! He's my father!"

Aaaaack, so there's the slip from 13x01 where we thought he meant Lucifer but it was actually Cas, and 13x09 where he disowns Lucifer casually and talks about how they're his real family instead...

Oh ew I paused the screen on Lucifer looking all smug, hang on

Anyway, yeah. This is the first time Jack has proclaimed that, and I think this is revealing the greatest miscommunication this season - something we picked out a while back, in the first few episodes, about how everyone was so unwilling to tell Jack just how horrible Lucifer even was. I mean. I don't think he even knows for sure that he's the reason why Cas was dead? And does he know how Sam was destroyed by having powers BECAUSE he was raised to be Lucifer's vessel? And - even basic info like this, if not the murder and torture in his wake...

Without telling Jack the harsh truth, he's vulnerable to falling prey to Lucifer's manipulations, because for him, new to the world, it's just not a given that Lucifer is evil. Even "speak of the devil" is ironic, because they DON'T speak about him, and so that phrase is meaningless to Jack because it doesn't describe anything about evilness.

And I think this goes back in a way to the theme of confronting trauma, that TFW just do not talk about what has hurt them, aren't open when they ARE hurting, at least until it's too late, and so the damage that Lucifer has done to them, even when he can taunt he's in a room full of all his favourites to kill and torture, when he's killed Rowena twice, tried to kill Gabriel and Dean, and caused the worst suffering to Sam, they just aren't a Lucifer damage support group >.> And all season they never told Jack a full story about who they were, what they've done, and what has happened to them along the way...

-

Anyway I guess Edoras is moving to Helm's Deep now?

-

Ew Jack and Lucifer are walking together

I can't even see Cas in shot so I'm gonna assume he's bringing up the rear with Uncle Gabriel

-

I mean

I hope someone friggin told Gabriel they were leaving. He's gonna pop back to camp in half an hour like, so I looked everywhere and I could not find - waaait a minute. Where is everyone? Are we playing hide and seek? Sexy hide and seek? .... Nope, I've just been forgotten.

I'm not in this episode, am I?

-

Anyway Dean sends Sam back to lurk on the Jack and Lucifer conversation

Which leaves Mary and Dean free to chat!

Dean is like, I am listening but I am also sulking. About everything. Mary starts explaining that Nougat is getting hardened by war, having been fighting and losing people. Turning into one of them, a scarred, miserable Winchester.

I love that Mary is defending Jack, that she has spent so much time with him - more than anyone else - that she is the sympathetic character towards Jack. He's not an object to obtain to her, he's very much a kid who has landed in it and is doing his best.

And, of course, a surrogate for the sons she never got to know growing up, when they were being fucked up in the exact same way Jack is currently being fucked up, which means, hopefully, she will learn to relate to them better through seeing what Jack goes through??

And cut to Jack telling Sam that he was telling his father that together they can take down Michael. Which... Isn't super reassuring tbh, if you flip it to season 5 where Lucifer getting a surefire powerful boost like a Nougat to help him take out Michael would have been dooooooom and that is why they sent Jesse on a surfing holiday in Australia.

-

This also means Sam has to walk alongside Lucifer and Jack all chill and like... we're on a walk together

-

Ooops and Sam is like, but that's not the plan, and Jack is like, hi, while you were gone I fixated on killing my AU!Uncle Mikey.

-

Again, Mary reasons that Jack's interest in Lucifer is not unexpected, based on curiosity, and Dean complains about the threat that Lucifer corrupts him. Mary sounds both confident in Jack not being evil that it seems a little laughable to her, and also that Jack will soon see Lucifer's true nature.

And honestly, this is the longest Lucifer has held it together possibly EVER without doing something petty. Maybe just because with the handcuffs on he can't get irritated and melt people who are annoying him. I'm not sure how much restraint he has left not to say something wildly wrong. Like a homophobic relative at a family dinner with all your nice gay family, and you know Some Shit will leave their mouth sooner or later, even though they're playing it nice and got a pride pin before they knocked on the door.

-

Mary is proud of her big gay family

-

sorry that metaphor wandered off

-

not sorry.

-

Hi Cas, love it when you *gestures him walking innocuously around a corner*

"Hey, did you find him?"

"No, Gabriel isn't in this episode for some reason. I think BL have a restraining order?"

-

LOL here he is! RUN LIL GUY RUN!

"ANGELS!"

-

Aw no, the handcuffs. They were Dean n Cas's personal ones.

-

blah blah joke about impotence, Lucifer got to melt some things so he might be able to stay chill for a while longer having scratched the itch to murder...

-

I just took a lil break to complain to Mittens about the geography, she assured me Singer Salvage Yard isn't in South Dakota in the AU, and I'm just like... debating whether I think this is better or worse. it's a headache, for sure

-

Hi AU!Bobby! They immediately discuss how Bobby decided not to put his salvage yard in Sioux Falls because the weather sucks, and I am sitting here wondering if TJW looked at the script and was like... there's no Gabriel... they WALKED from Ohio to Bobby's on the way to Kentucky... I -

-

Why do they always give me their scripts to un-fuck?

-

AU Bobby makes me miss Bobby while simultaneously filling the void not having Bobby puts in me and I feel weird

He's telling them their idea sucks in colourful language and it's like oh I am home, but at the same time... it's not in Sioux Falls

-

Dean automatically protective of Charlie when Ketch is around and again, the weirdest feeling that Ketch killed Charlie hits me, but he still didn't and it's still just because BL like him so much they've made him their new toy.

-

Bleh more Jack and Lucifer

He's now explaining the archangels to Jack. Mansplaining, in fact, since Jack already knows.

it seems this was just a way to say they were both tortured by Michael in order to bond some more

Lucifer forces Jack to do a high five and Jack is baffled

-

"That's your Uncle Gabe" *points at him throwing rocks at a car* Jesus christ he's literally... off throwing rocks... I was kidding when I said he was off doing it earlier... I was kidding... holy shit they literally forgot to write Gabriel into this episode.... in the script it was "then there's your uncle gabe" without pointing, just, in the abstract, like, yeah, he exists, and Jack is like yeah I sort of noticed him existing. And then they both pause. Funny, that. Gabriel existing. Anyway - and they move on?

-

Woah, no, they're actually going to talk to him.

Hey, Gabriel, did you know you're in this episode?

His expression says, wow, no I did not. But now I hear them coming over, I need to Deal With This Shit

-

Lucifer describes him as "class clown" which is automatically reducing him back down to the Trickster, and of course he's said tricks are for kids and is trying to be all mature and the new version of Gabriel.

-

I hope new and improved Uncle Gabriel tells Jack what's what, even if it's just with eyebrows and pointed looks

-

"And you're an ass clown"

That works.

-

Oh ew, Lucifer immediately pulls Gabriel's torture on him as a hey how are you lol that was funny when you were tortured and metaphorically raped for 7 years huh?

Jack, again, seems to lack the context of what happened to Gabriel, the state they found him in, all the stuff we've seen on screen, so the dramatic irony of what we know vs what Jack knows...

Also how does Lucifer even know?

-

Oh whatever.

-

Gabriel has no time for this, and turns to walk off, like, fine, I didn't even want to be in your stupid episode anyway. Lucifer follows, Jack walking along beside him, eyebrows furrowed.

-

Gabriel has a headache at Lucifer rambling on (and they've literally just forgotten about Raphael. Wonderful.) Anyway, super relatable.

Here he goes. "You think Dad was a bad guy and you were a victim?" Well Scout will be happy, Gabriel standing up for the ole God n Gabe relationship. I mean, much as it sucks, Gabriel still has a connection with Chuck that no one else does, just in personality.

"That was just your excuse." "For what?" "For it all, Lucifer! For it all!"

Thank fucking God for Gabriel. He wasn't even meant to be here so he's like the one person who can call Lucifer out, from outside the narrative, fed up of this whole stupid charade.

Gabriel is not a Buckleming character, he's here because he deigned to be, and he will leave on his terms too.

-

(I've legit been having issues that I keep thinking Speight-directed episodes are Gabriel episodes, and at this point he's such a meta character to me I literally think he's transcended the story)

-

Nice of him to walk off screen with both middle fingers raised.

-

Oh my GOD how stupid was that trap that Charlie just fell for?

My unspoken comment from earlier that the dumbest drop in intelligence Buckleming ever inflicted on a character was Charlie's death feels like I should have said it, because making her fall for that dumbass trap was just... wow.

-

Wow.

-

Blah blah manufactued drama, Ketch has stubble now, apparently a conscience about not letting Charlie get killed because Dean was once attached to his world's version of her

-

Goddd I am with Andy the sceptic about their fairytale world where everything is pretty. They don't want to abandon the fight, and like, there's a sizeable chance Dean and Sam just wanna shove Mary through a portal with them and call it a day.

Why are we getting this when we could be getting Sam and Dean learning from Mary how they need to fight for this cause against Michael? Whyyyyyyy. This whole plan is so stupid.

I mean, it wouldn't be wholly stupid for Sam to pop back through the rift, grab all the weapons he's promising, and come back to arm them, in their world, on their turf, somewhere defensible from angels.

Like, even the odds a bit so they can finish this fight so they can take Mary and Jack home and stop stressing about this

-

Now Sam's making his Inspiring Speech of the season, about how even if they aren't people from the AU and were never born there, all these masses of people fighting back are still like them and represent what they do. Like, how all the random hikers you might meet know vampire lore these days. Everyone's a hunter in these times.

-

Andy narrows his eyes

-

cut to: Ketch being tortured and using American monopoly references to fuck with the angels.

he is presumably secretly American, because there's no way he'd casually think of American locations on the board unless he coincidentally grew up with an American monopoly board for some reason

-

While complaining about this Mittens reminded me that Metatron made a reference to always winning by building hotels on the expensive square and that gives us an indirect connection between the two of them for some reason.

-

Ooooooooh the exterior reveals they're being tortured in the creepy Gas n Sip.

Well. I wonder who is about to show up

-

Twitchy!Castiel

-

Who inexplicably looks 10 years younger than our Cas.

Dean really did a fucking number on him.

-

Anyways of course Castiel is the expert... He's terrifying when he gets going, and this one hasn't been Dean'd.

-

Our Cas seems to be doing some scary manhandling on this guy

-

And some really scary looming

-

Uhoh

-

And that was with one lil look from Dean, like, go on, babe, read his mind and do what you do

-

No, apparently he wasn't even reading the guy's mind, he was just hurting him

-

Lucifer's whining, in the least breaking news to ever break.

Gabriel's like, Dean told us to stay behind, because I'm not in this episode, so I have to babysit your dumb ass before you say anything else stupid to my nephew.

-

"Do you see any version of this where he sticks by you?"

I mean that's probably what's stressing Lucifer out, knowing he has nothing to offer as a father. Gabriel is kind of enjoying it. And sitting watching Lucifer from a distance, where he can mock him. Again, he seems weirdly out of the story, the one person who isn't affected by all the bullshit and somehow has this glossy shine on him, un-Buckleming'd even as the empire crumbles around him.

It's like... he doesn't feel a part of all this because he's seeing clearly and calling out Lucifer in real time instead of standing dumbly while Lucifer poses questions to prove he's good that only a 7 month old babyman would fall for.

-

"He's a kid.  He likes shiny objects and magic tricks."

:')

"But he's not like you. You can see it in his eyes." YUPPERS. He has Cas's eyes.

his father's eyes

-

(Thinking of which, I had to go back because my video went a bit wonky... am I right in thinking AU!Castiel has a bad eye? That's not meta interesting at aaall)

-

Gabriel mentions his mother's bloodline, the Winchesters' influence... is Cas included in that?

-

"He'll see who - what - you are."

"I've changed."

"Dude. It's me. I've known you since the stars were made. You can't change. You're incapable of empathy, love. You live to be worshipped! Or feared! Or both!"

And now Gabriel is calling out that Lucifer says that God made up all the lies about him, which has been his fallback for literally ever about how woe is me misunderstood God was so meeeean

It's like Gabriel and Lucifer were having that argument back in 5x19 and then Lucifer killed Gabriel and then 7 years passed and now they're alone together again and they just pick up where they left off.

Gabriel praising how humans are innocent and beautiful has weird overtones of how protective Dean was of the Scooby Gang and I think that is adorable.

-

Gabriel is officially tearing Lucifer a new one after dropping by to be in the episode and I am gonna stan this fucker forever.

-

LOL he made Lucifer cry

-

God, I mean I am never ever going to feel sympathetic to Lucifer, but if Gabriel helps him like, sacrifice himself for Jack later at some point, I'm cool with that.

-

AAAH AU CASTIEL IS THE WORST. I HATE IT. MISHA, NO

-

Nice coat though.

In a horrifying way.

They did, however, find a coat that actually makes Misha's shoulders look huge in a sexy way

-

you can hear the Cas voice in there, but it's so messed up.

-

This guy is BFFs with Bartholomew I bet.

-

okay I'm rewinding and actually trying to pay attention to wtf he's saying.

-

It's so messed up that he's in a Gas n Sip. It's like showing how broken his soul is. And the fact his soul is a Gas n Sip absolutely murders me

-

Also AU Castiel doesn't have a soul, probably, unlike our Cas

-

He's mirroring Dick Frigging Roman while eyeing up Charlie and telling her there aren't many like her.

-

Castiel mirroring Dick in a Gas n Sip is how to cram in the most awfulness you possibly could to show a ruined version of Cas.

-

He's parting his hair on the other side.

-

It seems Castiel pretty much has destroyed himself by psychically harming humans.

Can we rewind so our Cas stops torturing that other guy so that he doesn't remotely turn into this guy?

-

OH NO, I was gonna ask where Jack was back in the previous scene but it seems he's flapped off to deal with this before I could ask him where he was.

Now he's gonna meet Worst!Castiel

-

Meanwhile: stabby stabby, the rest of the Winchesters are here. Never mind, Cas got the intel from that other guy. Jack isn't going rogue :P

-

I hope party!Cas doesn't meet worst!Castiel

-

Party!Cas is beating up Worst!Castiel

-

"More than one of us. Fascinating." "I've gotten used to it."

Party!Cas is basically just a bundle of one-liners in a trenchcoat.

-

LOL Dean freeing Ketch but will we ever be free of Dean x Ketch nonsense?

-

Sam randomly hugs AU Charlie because he hasn't got over the guilt of getting our Charlie killed, and can't separate the two on instint of seeing her face again and this is awful.

When I said more hugs I meant more NICE hugs

"Sorry"

She punches him in a hey it's cool we all freak out sometimes

-

Oh jesus christ after the saving hanging Ketch by getting all up in his space, now I turn out to have had the screen paused on Ketch and Dean getting all cosy and looking at each other in alarming proximity

"oooh... hello. You saving me? It's about bloody time."

Dean looks furious

good.

-

"You aligned yourself to humans?" "I *vastly* prefer them to angels"

Love you too, babe

"Don't think you are better than me. We are the same." "Yes. We are." *STAB*

Bye bye worst!Castiel

Man, I never thought I'd be glad to see Cas die, but that was satisfying watching Cas kill this awful version of him who had been utterly destroyed by being an angel while affirming to himself that humans are the best. And being an angel sucks and is destructive to his very sense of self.

I like that a lot.

-

Long live Party!Cas

-

And we begin and end the season with a dead Cas

-

I mean we're not quite at the end but we're close enough that this counts as bookending symmetry.

-

"For whatever reason, I have a good feeling about you two"

it seems a little worrying that apparently the entire lot unanimously voted to go to the pretty AU. I think they're making a joke that Bobby feels some sort of cosmic fatherly vibe towards them but in truth Bobby complained they were idjits with terrible plans quite often, as he did earlier... I'm not sure it's going to be good that everyone Exoduses with them and I feel like them celebrating a win with 10 minutes to go before whatever leads into the finale is a terrible thing. All in all we've got a last 10 minutes of a Buckleming episode vibe going on and I do not like it.

-

Okay Lucifer helping Dean revive the bus is the weirdest cooperation I've ever seen on this show.

-

Making Lucifer drive so they can keep an eye on him is the worst idea ever and I don't care what Dean justifies it with, Gabriel came rushing in from left field to say hey hey hey this is a dumbass idea and Dean's like shut up you're not in this episode but Gabriel is the one voice of reason here because he's the guy who's not in the episode so can see it for what it is.

Dean's supposed to always want to drive.

-

Where is Nougat going?

Why are you even upset?

-

Oh, he's realised they're all fleeing to plan to kill Michael later and even though this plan was all worked out a while back he is reacting now - is it just that they didn't include him in the planning and he buckleminged between the cracks of an episode ABOUT HIM and only found out now...

He's like but I wanna kill Michael NOW

Okay, no, he's got a cool heroic mindset

but you know what, after hanging with Lucifer, there is something about how they've put Jack in a position where he is driven to Kill Michael just like Lucifer was originally driven to Kill Michael. Of course everything around them and the utter horror of worst!Cas proves that killing Michael is necessary for this world to even have a sliver of a chance of survival, but at the same time, Jack is now irrationally stuck on a mission purpose identical to the one that once powered Lucifer to start the entire apocalypse. And having Jack mirroring that need, to the point of irrationally leaving the party bus when the plan IS to regroup, arm up and return to kill Michael, shows that he has -

At least this one brewed up fast, because the longer you leave the apocalypse to stew, the more complicated it is to start a fight with Michael??

-

Sam goes after Jack because he cares and then Lucifer saunters over because he wants to latch onto Jack, and once again we get Jack caught between two parent figures - in his flashes of choosing who he wants to be after thinking about Kelly's message he had flashes of both Lucifer and Sam - not Cas and Dean.

Look

I'm just sayin' as a random aside

which I should not be saying but I mean I hope I earned some sam!girl cred earlier so let me ruin this

because they're framing it as Lucifer vs Sam

it sets aside Cas n Dean

and they're like

A different set of parents on like, a different level. If Jack has 4 dads, Cas and Dean are one pair and Sam and Lucifer are the other... Thematically... but like... also Cas and Dean are weirdly in a different sort of world when it comes to relating to Jack apparently.

-

Sam is all concern about Jack, Lucifer tries to talk Jack out of it with seeming concern which is really just about how he isn't very good at fighting Michael. Lol.

-

UUUGHHHH Sam having to hear Jack say "my father makes a valid point" and then Lucifer claps Jack on the shoulder and walks off with him in front of Sam and it feels like Lucifer somehow retroactively has kicked off this whole nonsense JUST to spite Sam.

-

Oh my GOD Dean isn't even ON the party Bus with Lucifer what the heck who PLANNED this plan

-

I like Gabriel just chilling with like, an RPG launcher or something.

nice callback to last episode re: lol penis

-

Also Jack is sitting with Uncle Gabriel in the jeep! Good! I hope he is saying lots of good sensible Nice Uncle Who Gives You Candy things to Jack, and then makes a coin appear out of his ear.

-

Portal's closing

Run run run

-

Amazingly, Lucifer's maths about the portal were not wrong?

I mean... do we just assume that that was a lucky guess?

-

Rowena has been reading the entire time, and I can tell why we haven't seen her since the start of the episode but it's still a total waste of her.

Maybe Gabriel was slipping off and hooking up with her whenever he wasn't in the episode.

-

You know I am not 100% Rowena was in this episode either. I do appreciate her and Ketch making eye contact like, oh, you.

-

With 6 minutes to go you know some serious shit is about to go down

-

JACK IS BACK

-

Lol Sam is like no you stay here, Lucifer. Fuck you being in the same universe as Jack for any length of time.

-

Okay we got a Mary and an AU Bobby here, good, good. And a Charlie! Wonderful!

The last 6 minutes of the episode might be all like, 30 people coming through the rift one by one to dramatic music.

If the Winchesters don't make it back then there's going to be one hell of a kegger thrown here by all the gnarly post-apocalypse peeps suddenly filling the Bunker unsupervised.

-

CAS!

-

He does not count as a responsible adult. Party!Cas is in the Bunker, currently unsupervised, with Rowena.

That is going to be a fucking wild kegger.

-

Oh good they sped up the dramatic entering the portal bit when it was randos we've never met who are now all filling the Bunker

-

Guys, you do realise if you leave BOTH archangels on the other side of the rift... you don't have any grace on YOUR side of the rift?

-

I mean

that... did occur to you?

-

Oh great the angels just crashed down on top of them and of all the people on screen, we get a close up of Andy the doubter dead. Nice going, BL

-

Michael! Badass wings in the dust!

-

Oh that's why Asmodeus did the ridiculous grace hurling. They wanted Lucifer to do it to Michael.

-

Now Michael is doing it to Lucifer

Just... like... kill him for us... put us out of our misery...

-

Gabriel, no, don't do this... D: If I have to watch you die again I'm suing.

-

Like, worst time to suddenly show up in the episode.

-

Dude you can not die,  you have to come back and run Heaven and bang Rowena on the weekends.

-

Sam and Dean are like... just not running away.

-

I'm suing.

-

Gabriel better be behind Michael and stab him now

-

I mean I'm just assuming he's standing behind a tree like, wow, it's amazing how often people fall for that

-

"How did you think this was gonna end?"

I love you Sammy

You get the no.1 dad mug

-

Oh good, Michael is alone with a weakened miserable Lucifer. Can you just stomp him out of rage now?

-

Cut to: Bunker kegger.

I immediately spot Cas and Dean standing together not in the main party, with AU Charlie. AU Bobby and Mary together, Rowena sitting down needing a rest, and Sam wearing just a t-shirt and chilling with her. Ketch and the girl from the vampire mine sitting either side of the stairs, probably both like ???? about events, from completely opposite directions.

-

AU Charlie and Ketch are weirdly friends. I am so conflicted.

-

FINALLY FOUND JACK

he doesn't look very happy. He's a corner child. Sitting in the corner. With a beer he is like 20 and a bit years too young to drink.

-

Anyway guess Samwitch is still on the cards even if we can be really miserable about Gabwena or whatever you call it ending too soon.

-

Cas and Dean are talking about I guess a toast to Gabriel, presumably prompted by Cas being really sad about Gabriel, probably because now there's no one to teach him magic tricks to amuse Jack.

-

Cas really isn't much fun at parties, now I think about it

I'm not backing down from my stance. He just needs to get BETTER at parties.

-

"Been here 5 minutes and he's taken over the joint"

I've wanted to see Bobby in the Bunker a million years and while I am miserable it's not the real thing, it does still feel at least kinda right.

*sighs forever*

-

What is Jack going to do

-

Why are people toasting Sam and Dean but not Cas

-

Cas isn't toasting them either, he's standing there with his hands in his pockets like yeah I always knew these two idiots were the best, thanks for catching up.

-

Jack continues staring into the void

Cas continues standing there

-

Awww no why did you give us a closeup of Gabriel lying there? Also his eyes were wide open. What does that mean? I mean is it because no one's bothered to close them, or is it a symbolic thing?

anyway Michael you are not stabbing Lucifer fast enough. Don't bargain with him. He just wants to go be a pest in the main world.

-

What the hell was that last look about? UGH. Do not want.

-

tl;dr Gabriel is probably fine. He sneaked through the portal when no one was looking and flapped off. 

Rowena will probably get a series of bizarre sexy presents delivered to whatever hotel room she's in

Cas needs to work at parties

Jack is contemplating what the hell fathers' day even is.

[astrangeevent2002]

Choices (Young!Sirius Black x Female!Reader)

A/N: I'm soooooo sorry that requests are taking me so long. If you don't like the hair or makeup or anything just change it to what you'd want to wear.

Word Count: 1,603

Warnings: swearing. that's it. and gifs.

Requested: yes. Thank you for requesting this amazing idea and I'm sorry it took forever.

Hey :) I'd like to request a Sirius x reader oneshot, where the reader is in Slytherin and in regulus year, means they are/were good friends. But the reader is also friends with the Marauders. And both Black brothers are in love with the reader, which the reader doesn't know. And in the end the reader chooses Sirius. Thank you already if you write it 🤗

Blurb: Regulus and you are in a relationship but he's slowly turning to the dark side. Where does that leave you? Being comforted by Sirius Black that's where. Maybe you have stronger feelings for him than you thought.

You had been friends with Regulus Arcturus Black since first year. When you met five years ago you weren't expecting to become this close.

It was great that you had somebody. Even if your boyfriend had been acting a bit... strange lately. You were worried that he may be being dragged to the dark side to become a deatheater like most people in your house.

Well, Slytherin was notorious for being the "evil" house. The house of pureblood, rich wizards that were doomed to turn bad sooner or later.

And the Black family were some of the worst. Bellatrix Black, Narcissa Black...

But there was always an exception to the rule Like Andromeda Black who didn't seem like she was joining her family of deatheaters anytime soon.

You had hoped Regulus would follow in his brother's footsteps and stand up to his parents.

His brother, Sirius Black... Well, that boy was trouble. No doubt about it. But at least he fought for what he thought was right. Instead of following orders like those mindless sheep.

He was a Gryffindor like the rest of the Marauders. They were cool. Unlike most of Slytherin house, they didn't discriminate against muggle-borns and they certainly weren't bullies. Well except to Snivellus but he sort of deserved it after calling Lily Evans, one of the brightest and most amazing witches of her age, a mudblood. He was probably a deatheater now too.

"Hey! What're you thinking about?" asked Sirius, sitting next to you in the stands. You were watching James practice for his next Quidditch match against Slytherin.

"Not much. Just Regulus," you replied.

"Oh! You guys are still together?" You nodded. "How is he doing? Hope he's treating you right."

"He's treating me fine," you said carefully. "That's not the issue."

"Then what is?"

"Well..."

"You can tell me anything (Y/N)." he said taking your hand.

It felt good to finally have someone listen to you. Sirius didn't even say anything when you started crying. He was just there for you.

"So..."

"Yeah? What is it Sirius?" you looked up at him.

"Do you want to go to the Yule Ball with me? As friends obviously!"

You looked at Sirius. He was waiting expectantly for your answer.

"I'm sorr-"

"No I get it you don't want to go with me."

He looked so upset.

"No Sirius! It's not that I don't want to go with you but..." Sirius' eyes were scanning your face, confused.

It was sad. He had worked up the courage to ask you to the ball and you were rejecting him.

"I already told Regulus I'd go with him."

"Oh," he said. "I forgot..."

The tension was almost as unbearable as the awkward silence.

"I should get to lesson now." you excused yourself. Finally escaping the awkwardness.

"Ow! Lily that hurts."

"Calm down. I'm almost done."

You waited patiently. Surely getting ready shouldn't be this painful.

"Done!" she said excitedly.

Lily already looked wonderful.

Her green dressed perfectly balanced out by her fiery red curls.

When you turned around and looked in the mirror you were shocked. The dress that Marlene picked looked perfect and was complimented by the makeup Mary did. Not to mention what an amazing job Lily did with your hair.

"All ready? Let's go!" Marlene said as they started going to the great hall for the Yule Ball.

"Coming (Y/N)?" asked Alice Longbottom, timidly.

"Yeah just give me a sec."

She nodded and followed the other girls out.

After another moment looking in the mirror, you decided not to make Regulus wait.

"There you are! I've been waiting forever," said Regulus after he saw you by the stairs.

"You look great." you complimented his tux.

"Well you could tidy yourself up a bit." he said after looking you up and down in disgust.

"Sorry." you murmured.

"Oh well. Let's go just try not to do anything stupid like you usually do."

He offered you his arm and you both made your way to the great hall. This was going to be a long night.

As you entered the great hall with your arms linked you could see all your friends having fun with their dates.

"Wow!"

You turned to see Sirius walking up to you.

"You look amazing (Y/N)!" he smiled.

"Thank you! You don't look too bad yourself Black."

Regulus rolled his eyes and dragged you off towards the drinks table.

You had been waiting at the table for a good few hours. Regulus was nowhere to be found so you were left by yourself. Not like he wanted to dance anyway. You got that after about the third time of asking to no avail.

Whatever. You sighed and leant your cheek against the palm of your hand.

"Hey (Y/N)! Why are you by yourself?"

It was Sirius. Finally, someone to save you from the boredom of sitting alone.

"Regulus disappeared somewhere and I didn't want to interrupt anyone," you answered as Sirius took a seat beside you. "What happened to Marlene?"

She was his date tonight.

"Just left but I don't think it was going to work out." he explained, helping himself to your drink.

"Hey! That's mine!" you grabbed it out of his hands.

"I know but I can't be bothered to get my own spiked punch."

"Wait! Spiked?" you said shocked.

"Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't notice when we spiked it earlier. I mean James isn't exactly quiet. And McGonagall was lurking around the drinks table."

You both laughed at the boys' antics. It was so much easier talking to Sirius than it was talking with Regulus.

"Oi!"

You looked up to see Regulus storming up to you and Sirius.

"Stay away from my girlfriend Sirius!" he yelled.

"Reg-"

"No! Shut up, Sirius! Why can't you just leave us alone? Do you seriously have to get involved in every little bit of my life?" he continued shouting. People were looking at the commotion.

"Calm down. There's no need to get worked up about it." you tried to reason with him.

"You need to stay away from him!" Regulus grabbed your arm. "You're mine!"

"I don't belong to you Regulus!" You yelled while wrenching your wrist from his tight grasp. "You can't just own me like some sort of possession!"

You were fuming right now. And Regulus looked dumbstruck by your sudden outburst.

"I..." he didn't know what to say.

"Do you know what? I don't particularly care anymore," you stated turning away.

"You can't walk away from me (Y/N)! Don't you dare-"

He was cut off by Sirius punching him square in the jaw. The punch sent him reeling backwards until he landed on his arse. Almost instantly the blood started trickling from his nose and the cut on his lip.

"She can do what she likes and (Y/N) definitely deserves someone a hundred times better than the likes of you." said Sirius.

You left after Sirius punched his brother in the face.

You were currently sat in a third-floor corridor and were on the verge of crying.

You looked up to stop the tears from falling. You didn't want to ruin Mary's good work.

Well, it's not like it mattered. You were certainly not going back to the great hall.

You could hear footsteps coming closer. It could be Regulus coming to get back at you.

You stood up and started running away.

A few corridors later you had to stop and steady yourself after you tripped on your dress.

But wait.

In your haste to get away, you forgot your heels which were still neatly placed against the wall.

Not hearing anything else you figured it was safe to get them back.

You walked to the place where you were sat sulking a few minutes ago.

But they weren't there...

Someone cleared their throat behind you.

You slowly turned around to face Sirius who was holding the shoes up in his hand.

"Looking for these?"

"Yeah. Thanks." you practically whispered, putting your heels back on.

"I'm sorry that Regulus was such a dick."

"It's not your fault." you shook your head. "It's mine. I was naive and didn't realise how controlling he was."

The very thought of how stupid you had been got you tearing up.

"Hey, don't cry now." soothed Sirius as he pulled you into a hug. "You are the most amazing, intelligent, beautiful girl I've ever met."

You smiled. Glad that you had someone to rely on.

"Dance with me."

"But-" your protest was interrupted by Sirius.

"No buts. Dance with me."

You placed your arms around his neck and his hands found their way to your waist. You rested your head on his chest as you both swayed back and forth.

He twirled you a few times.

You were both smiling.

"You know. I think you look amazing tonight (Y/N)."

With that Sirius stroked your cheek and leaned down.

You stepped on your tiptoes and your lips touched.

It was slow and loving. Not something you'd expect from Sirius Black, the flirt of the school who was known for taking things fast.

When you both pulled away to catch your breath he whispered "I love you (Y/N). Would you give me the pleasure of being my girlfriend?"

"I love you, too and it would be an honour to be your girlfriend Black."

You kissed again.

"Let's go back to the great hall or they'll all be wondering where we went."

"Let's go." you agreed walking off hand in hand with your boyfriend. Sirius Black.

Tags:

Sirius Black:

@mycobrakai1972

@bear105

Permanent:

@mindofthescattered

@dygalome

@wolfdragon0424

@siriusement

HP Universe:

@hope-became-knowledge

[plaidstiel-wormstache]

Not All Black and White

Part 2

For @impala-dreamer and @wi-deangirl77‘s separate challenges. The title challenge and the fave spn ep challenge. Here’s the link for part 1. Here’s the link for Downton Abbey info.

Word Count: 2322 Warnings: canon = angst, a little fluff, mostly unbeta’d A/N: This is the part with A LOT of canon. I hope you like it. It was fun watching the ep and furiously typing out the script! P.S this was beta’d in it’s first draft by @whispersandwhiskerburn If you like it, please reblog and leave a comment or a gif, they make our world go round!

"Where's YN?" Dean asked, looking up from the trickster's body. The Winchester brother’s were back in the warehouse after driving a stake through the Trickster’s back. "Broheims!" YN called from the other end of the factory, barrelling towards her brothers, leaping into Dean's arms. “Broheims?” Dean mouthed at Sam over her shoulder, the middle Winchester shrugging. "What the hell was that?" She asked, pushing out of Dean's embrace and straight into Sam's. "The trickster threw us into TV land." Dean explained, Sam gestured to the body when YN let him go. "I guess he wasn't expecting it to turn into a crime documentary." YN snorted at her own joke, punching Sam's arm when he gave Dean an odd look.

Both Upstairs and Downstairs were all abuzz with today’s activities. A female shooter amongst the men! There was a quiet knock at the door as YN pulled on her boots. “Come in.” She called out, looking up when the door cracked open. “I’m decent.” She said with a chuckle. After being here a month, she’d had one male visitor… well one that respected privacy. The other visitor had been dragged by his tie into her room!

“Miss Winchester, I was wondering if you’d selected a gun yet?” A male’s voice came through the door. YN racked her brain, trying to the think of the name the voice belonged to. Once she’d zipped the second boot she stood and pulled the door open. Revealing Mister Mosley.

“I didn’t peg you as one for shooting, Mosley.” She said, smiling (to herself for remembering) and turning back into the room for the scarf Anna had left on the dresser. YN missed the look of shock on Mosley’s face for her knowing his name.

“I, umm, I-- Pardon me for asking, but I didn’t think you knew my name, Miss?” YN bit her bottom lip, back still turned to him. He had her, she hadn’t been introduced, hadn’t even seen him since she walked through the door. She composed her features and turned back to him. “I know you all, Mister Mosley, everything you do for us does not go unnoticed.”

"YN?" Dean asked, looking around the empty motel room after leaving the bathroom. "Sam?" He called, pulling his phone from his pocket, locking the room as he left. "Yeah, dude, where are you both? Call me." Dean ended the call as he planted himself in the Impala. "Dean?" Sam's voice came from the radio. "Sam? Where are you?" The older hunter looked around the cab of the Impala. "I dunno." Sam’s voice came again. "Oh god-- Where's YN?" Dean groaned as he put it together. "I guess we didn't kill the Trickster."

“It will shoot high, aim lower than your target.” Mosley reminded YN as he handed her his father’s shotgun. She gave him a small nod as she took the loaded rifle.

The hunter stood facing the butler a moment, closing her eyes and feeling the weight of the gun, understanding it. Something her father had once said reminded him of Mary, the only time John saw her hold a gun.

“If you’re rethinking your promise of showing us--” Branson began to tease from his line amongst the other men and their rifles. “Hush, you! I’ll have two down by the time you clip one.” YN called, winking at the butler before turning and lining up a shot at the top of the trees.

...

“Congratulations to the woman who showed us all up!” Lord Grantham said, raising his glass with the rest. “Two birds before anyone else!” Lady Edith said, very excited for her friend. “Well, she did warn us.” Branson laughed.

YN was riding the high that everyone else seemed to be enjoying, not forgetting Mr. Mosley, giving him a smile and raising her glass to him. She was sure with the wide eyes from the other staff, he’d have a good story at dinner that night!

“Have you seen Jack?” YN asked Rose as the blonde approached. “Said he had a call? Something he had to deal with? But don’t worry about him, how will you ever marry a man when you’re busy showing them up?” Rose giggled, clinking her glass against YN’s. “Do you mind if I excuse myself?” YN asked, finishing her drink in one gulp, much to Rose’s astonishment. “What shall I say--” Rose began but the hunter interrupted with a shrug. “Make up a story... I’ll see you at the house!” YN kissed her friend’s cheek and headed out from under the tent, using the treeline to help her sneak away.

As the laughter and chatter from the group faded behind her, a soft crackling started in front of her. The trees faded and walls were visible, dark and dank lighting lit the ground, now covered in concrete and dust, not tree roots and leaves. YN spun around, looking for a way out.

"Well played boys." "Dean! Sam!" YN called, stumbling on the spot she appeared, not too far from them. "YNN!" Sam opened his arms to her, instead receiving a punch to his arm. "I knew something was off." Sam muttered, rubbing the sore spot. "YN, nice to see you, how was upstairs?" The Trickster asked, a smirk stretching his face. "Fuck off." YN spat, staring him down.

"Where'd you get the holy oil from?" He changed tack, the smirk gone. "Let's just say we pulled it outta Sam's ass!" Dean quipped, trying not to laugh. "Explain?" YN whispered, looking at her taller brother. "Where'd I screw up?" The trickster, stuck in a circle of holy fire, sounded disappointed in himself! "You didn't, nobody gets the jump on Cas like you did." Sam explained.

"Cas?" YN hushed at Dean, glancing around the factory as if the angel would just appear, Dean just ground his teeth before answering the trickster’s look of confusion.

"Mostly it was the way you talked about Armageddon." Dean said. "Meaning?" Gabriel bit. "Well, call it personal experience, nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family." Although this hurt Dean’s youngest sibling, it suddenly made sense to YN, like a light switch being flicked in her head. "So which one are you, grumpy, sneezy, or douchey?" She was royally pissed, a temper like her father's that made both her brothers fear her.

"Gabriel, okay?" He said pointedly to the boys, softening a little as his eyes flickered to YN, trying to hold contact, "They call me Gabriel." "Gabriel, the archangel?" Sam said, drawing the Archangel's attention off YN. "Guilty!" He said with a broad smile. "Okay, Gabriel, how does an archangel become a trickster?" Dean said, arching an eyebrow. "My own private witness protection. I skipped out of heaven, had a face transplant, carved out my own little corner of the world. Until you two screwed it up. Not you darling, never you." How Gabriel managed to flirt in this situation was beyond any of them.

"And what does Daddy have to say about that?" Dean bit out, almost growling at him. "Daddy doesn't say anything about anything." The archangel answered cryptically. "Then what happened? Why'd you ditch?" Sam asked, interested. "Why? Do you blame him? His brothers are heavy weight douchebags." Dean prodded. "Shut your cakehole! You don't know anything about my family. I love my father, my brothers. Love them!" Gabriel was defensive, just like YN would've been, "But watching them turn on each other, tear at each other's throats, I couldn't bear it. Okay? So I left. And now it's happening all over again!" "Then help us stop it." Sam begged. "It can't be stopped." Gabriel sounded like he was explaining the obvious. "You wanna see the end of the world?" Dean bit. "I want it to be over. I have to sit back and watch my own brother's kill each other, thanks to you two. Heaven, hell, I don't care who wins, I just want it to be over."

"Don't we all." YN muttered under her breath, slowly understanding what Gabriel was saying, receiving a pointed look from both her brothers, while Gabriel’s eyes flicked to her as if he’d found an ally. "It doesn't have to be like that, there has to be someway to pull the plug." Sam said in confusion. Gabriel laughed, "You do not know my family! What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner." YN's eyebrows raised, she knew a family like that!

"That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. This is about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other." The would-be trickster avoided YN's stare, a smirk rising on his face. YN knew exactly where this was going, she'd figured it out long ago listening to the angel's fight over both her brothers.

"You think you two would--" "Let's just go." YN interrupted. She wanted to keep this from them, she feared this would be the straw that broke this overloaded family's back. "No, I think it's about time they hear this." Gabriel yelled over the top of her. "You think you two would be able to relate." "What are you talking about?" Sam asked, looking from YN to Gabriel. "You sorry sons of bitches! Why do you think you two are the vessels?"

"Please, let's just go." YN begged her brothers, pulling at their sleeves. Dean shook her off and Sam gave her a concerned look before reverting his attention back to the archangel. "Think about it." Gabriel began. YN shrunk back behind her brothers, physically smaller, her groan so quiet it could've been the old structure of the building.

"Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father." Dean's brow was creased as he listened intently. "And Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan." The archangel looked between the Winchester's, a pang of guilt set in for YN, but he put it aside for now. "You were born to this boys. It's your destiny. It was always you."

Tears welled in YN's eyes and she wiped furiously at them.

"As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth, one brother has to kill the other." Gabriel finished. "What the hell are you saying?" Dean ground out. "Dean!" YN pleaded, going ignored like usual. "Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Cause from the moment Dad flicked on the lights around here, we knew it was gonna end with you. Always."

"No. That's not gonna happen." YN bit out, the flames danced in the reflection of her eyes. "I'm sorry, but it is." Gabriel almost sounded sorry, then he took a deep breath and corrected back to his cocky demeanor. "Guys, I wish this were a tv show; easy answers, endings wrapped up in a bow. But this is real, and it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gotta be."

There was a long silence as everyone seemed to let everything that had been said, sink in. Then finally, Dean spoke, stowing his feelings towards his learned fate and putting the 'older brother' hat back on.

"First of all, you're going to bring Cas back from wherever you stashed him." He demanded, and after a few threatening words, Gabriel clicked his fingers. "Cas, you okay?" YN asked, noticing the blood dripping from a cut on the bridge of his nose. "I'm fine." Cas said through gritted teeth. "Gabriel." "Hey bro. How's the search for Daddy going? Let me guess, awful!" Gabriel teased. "Okay, we're outta here. Come on, Sam." Dean turned for the door, stopping when he noticed his sister hadn't joined them.

He glared at her, nodding to his side when she didn't move. As she turned, she looked sadly back over her shoulder at the Archangel. Some of the things he was saying had made sense. One youngest sibling to another. When Sam and Dean fought she didn't care what it took, she'd do anything to make it stop. No matter the consequences.

"Guys?" Gabriel called after them. "So what? You just gonna leave me here forever?" "No. We're not. Cause we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record, this isn't about some prize fight between your brothers, or destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family." Dean's words reverberated through not only the archangel but YN as well. Her head hung low where she’d frozen when Dean halted. The older Winchester threw open the door and looked back at his sister, nodding for her to let him free, before stepping outside, Sam and Cas following.

"All that stuff he was sprouting back there, you think he was telling the truth?" Dean asked his brother across the roof of the Impala. "I think he believes it." Sam answered, glancing back at the factory door when the fire alarm began to ring. "So what do we do?" Dean asked, ignoring the ringing bell. "I don't know." "I tell you one thing right now, I wish I was back in a tv show."

YN stared across the flames at Gabriel. His eyes bore into hers. If you were an outsider looking in, you'd swear they were reading each other's thoughts.

But they didn't need telepathy to know what the other was thinking. They were the youngest of their families. They were the sibling that felt the pain of their brothers fighting. They were the ones that had the most to lose from this battle.

“That look’s gonna get me in trouble.” Gabriel said from the middle of the climbing flames. Realization dawned on YN and she found it hard to breathe, never mind swallowing around the gob in her throat that had suddenly appeared. When her heart began to beat again and air filled her lungs, she smashed the glass over the emergency fire system.

"Don't say I never did anything for you." She called out, pulling the lever. She stood under the fountain of water, staring at him, emotion’s betraying her, tearing her in half. With a thick swallow, she turned her back on him and joined her family outside.

If you liked this little two parter, please give it a reblog and let me know what you think!

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[orionsangel86]

12x09 - Episode Review - Too Much Heart Always Was His Problem.

Can I just say that as a staunch Cas girl this episode made me so happy. (I’m not a masochist promise) If you watched this episode thinking that Cas was getting a raw deal or that he was struggling or in pain then YES you are right! He was! But this is his story arc at play and in the first episode back of the second half of this season the showrunner decided that he would take front and centre stage. If you don’t believe me re-watch the episode, Castiel was its emotional centre.

I love Andrew Dabb for this reason. We have at least two Cas-centric episodes coming up and this was not supposed to be one of them, but of course how could he resist not focusing on his fave?

I will explain and get onto my review in a moment but I just wanted to emphasise this (and maybe also rub it in a bit in my own smug way against the Cas haters lol).

Anyway. Review under the cut...

Castiel (aka My Beautiful Angel of Humanity, Angel of Tears, Angel of my broken fucking heart and fictional love of my life)

Now as far as a standalone episode goes, the first 20 minutes bored me honestly, the last 20 minutes were awesome. It was rather unbalanced, with the only moments in the first half that really got me interested were Cas’s moments. I guess I’m just not a fan of government related stories or seeing the Winchesters stuck in one place not saying anything. But I enjoyed it overall. If it wasn’t for Misha basically owning that episode I wouldn’t have liked it because the escaped fugitive with the soldiers chasing after you thing just doesn’t do it for me, but Castiel getting a heavy emotional arc? Oh yeah. That does it. That hits the sweet spot.

This is an episode where Sam and Dean spend the majority of their screen time in cold defiant silence, before playing up their serial killer vibe as fugitives in their escape plan. Where Mary Winchester spends most of the episode seemingly going through the motions (anyone see major similarities with Buffy in season 6 *cue the singing*) and not exactly expressing herself in the best of ways, and where the remaining lead characters are the secret service men; one of whom only cares about getting info and the other who “wants them punished… wants to look Dean Winchester in the eye and wants him to feel it” and the British Men of Letters who, lets be honest, are a prime example of highly functioning sociopaths (to quote Sherlock) in smart suits with British accents. Castiel stands out because where every other characters primary motivations seems to be to help themselves (whether it be an escape plan, an ambition, a goal or just a distraction technique) Castiel spends his time only thinking of others. His selflessness and feelings of worthlessness have come right back to the front line and his struggle is evident throughout. It breaks my heart to watch him blame himself time and time again for things that were primarily out of his control. Of course this all escalates until Cas makes a decision that whilst still in line with his lack of self care, is very selfish in a way.

The episode was written this way purposely (as I will never believe that Dabb writes Cas moments without a very clear intent behind them). He has been framed as the heart of this episode, he wears his heart on his sleeve and it builds to the final moments where Cas ways up his choices and takes action against Billie. Once again, in true Dabb fashion, we are shown Castiel being brought down again and again (though this time by internal forces rather than the external forces of 11x10) until he makes a very rash decision based on the same principal as always with Castiel. To save a Winchester. What will the repercussions of this be? Billie said there could be consequences on a cosmic scale. I guess we will have to wait and see.

The initial argument with Mary, the conversation with Crowley, the failed vampire hunt, the phone call with Dean, asking for the help of the BMOL, the long drawn on moment where he watches the Winchesters reunite with emotion heavy on his face, finding out that they had dealt with their lives once again. All of these moments escalated in Cas’s mind to the point where he became fed up. He wasn’t going to lose the people he loves. His speech at the end had me in tears:

“You know this world? This sad, doomed little world. It needs you. It needs every last Winchester it can get, and I won't let you die. I won't let any of you die. And I won't let you sacrifice yourselves, you mean too much to me. To everything. Yeah, you made a deal. A stupid deal, and I broke it. You're welcome.”

Oh Cas. In his own mind, this is his motivation in a nutshell. Once upon a time Cas may have been motivated by a desire to do good for the world. To ultimately be a force for good for all humanity but he hasn’t been that in a long time. His motivations have closed in and become very personal. His motivations are preserving the lives of the Winchesters. It is the only part of him that is remotely selfish, and it is entirely rooted in love.

I just hope that this story arc for him develops to the point where he begins to see his own worth, because whilst the world may need the Winchesters, the Winchesters need him. Therefore the world needs him too.

It just occurred to me that in writing this I failed to bring up this moment:

Which was lovingly giffed for me by the awesome @godshipsit (here) and in which Misha kills me with his acting skills because LOOK at the emotion on his face. He has got them back, he sees the boys embrace their mother, and he looks on with this look of... what would you say this look is? Because it certainly doesn’t look like a guy who is just happy to have his friends back. No. That looks like a guy who is witnessing something that he longs for himself. That he feels he is separated from. 

I swear to God if this season doesn’t at least end with a shot of the Winchesters all hugging and then Dean reaching an arm out and pulling Cas into that group hug I’m gonna be pissed. We need that now. After this look we definitely need it.

Mary Winchester

I said above that Mary is going through the motions, she is still struggling to fit in and even though she showed her desire to keep living at her last encounter with Billie, it is easy to tell that Mary is at a weak point at the moment. Like how Castiel is prone to make bad choices motivated by love, Mary is the same, and her offering up her own life was no different. It’s no wonder that Cas and Mary have been mirroring each other this season. They both put the brother’s lives in front of their own without much thought. I honestly thought for a while there at the end that she was gonna be killed off and I was prematurely so very angry at Dabb for that, but then I was rightly angry at Dabb for another reason anyway.

Her decision to work with the British Men of Letters will bite her in the ass of course, and for some reason the filming of it and the reveal that Mick was talking to Mary heavily reminded me of Sam’s conversation with Rowena at the end of 10x18. No good will come of this for any of them.

Sam and Dean

So I have admitted that the first 20 minutes of Winchester silent defiance bored me. Though I can appreciate the affect and filming style. If you wanna break a Winchester don’t torture them, put them in a small room and leave them there with nothing but their own thoughts for company. It will drive them crazy and they will do something drastic and stupid. I enjoyed the cabin scene and loved Sam’s “You’ll live” with the first aid box as well as his “we’re the guys who save the world”. Dean’s speech to Rick over the radio was scary. Dean definitely had his psychopath mask on “We’re not trapped out here with you, you’re trapped out here with us.” But ultimately, this all comes down to another stupid decision where a Winchester sacrifices himself to save the other. They didn’t specify which Winchester was gonna go, but lets be honest here, it was totally gonna be Dean. Dean would never let Sam give up his life for him. So Dean broke first and called Billie and offered his life to save his brother basically. Dabb is once again exploring this trend of Winchester co-dependency at its most toxic and portrays it once again as a negative thing (have I mentioned yet how much I love Dabb?) to the point where Cas calls them out on it. (I really loved Cas’ speech). Alas! I hear you cry! Will they ever learn? Well. Hopefully Dabb has a plan that includes the breakdown of the toxic co-dependency once and for all, as he continues to use it in his storylines as a bad thing and in no way romanticises it like it was in the early seasons. If this ties in with Castiel’s upcoming plot lines, this could get interesting.

I have to at least comment on the very few moments we got this episode where Dean seemed to show a hint of emotion underneath his cold exterior, because every moment (up until Mary offered herself up at least) was about Cas. The first being after the call with Cas when Sam asked “Are you gonna tell him?” to which he just answered “No”. This moment is telling because of what isn’t said. We don’t know at this point what Dean has done (because it is implied early on that it is indeed Dean who did this and instigated this escape) and the flat refusal to tell Cas isn’t because he doesn’t care about Cas at all, it’s the complete opposite, and this is evidenced later in the car scene. Dean’s refusal to tell Cas at that point how he escaped and cut him off quickly like he did was because it was too painful to even consider telling Cas that he was once again facing death. The second moment being when he first sees Cas in the woods before Sam hugs him, his face is of sheer relief and joy and yeah, when Cas goes in for the hug he smiles briefly but his attention is quickly focussed on Mary, which could be read negatively, and perhaps I am disappointed that we didn’t get more from that reunion (though we are being spoiled with Destiel hugs lately) but the kicker is when they are in the car. Once the car stutters to a halt and everyone looks around in confusion, Dean just turns and looks at Cas. We don’t see his face from the camera angle but my god that look is worth everything. Dean knows whats about to happen to him, he knows whats coming. That fleeting moment is Dean’s regret. Here:

Its everything unspoken between them. Its 6 months of complete isolation followed by only moments of reunion before this. It’s the pain and angst and heartbreak of Destiel summed up in 3 seconds of screen time. Its beautiful.

Other things

So the BMOL are interesting characters who you certainly wouldn’t trust with your life now. I do have some gripes about them though, and that is simply that I don’t get how this story started with a badass British woman taking down Sam Winchester and became two very generic looking white guys? Whats up with that? Why did they completely destroy Lady Toni’s character only to have her role be taken over by these two? Don’t get me wrong I am very intrigued by Mick and Ketch, but I miss Lady Toni (and by that I mean the Lady Toni from 11x23 and the summers fanfiction and NOT the Lady Toni from 12x01 and 12x02) Its irritating because surely Mick’s role could have just been her role?? But that’s my main issue. The other one is minor and more just a way of nursing any national pride I may have left after Brexit in that honestly we do not have two default settings of “extremely posh” and “Jason Statham style cockney” and we are not all evil sociopaths. I take a slight insult at the big bad this season being British People. Sorry America, but in the real world you guys are the ones with an evil villain running your country. We’re just going through a nasty divorce with Europe.

Crowley’s minor role was great. I enjoy his snark most of the time anyway but this line had me in stitches: “Sam and Dean, they're like herpes. Just when you think they're gone 'Hello' the boys are back leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. So wherever they are, whoever has Sam and Dean. In the immortal words of Lawrence Tureaud, 'I pity the fool.” Classic. I loved it.

I should at least thank Dabb for bringing Alesha back for a minor part. I’m glad her and her gorgeous brother are still living and doing their thing and really hope they make an appearance again.

I’m really upset about Billie’s death. She was an awesome character and I loved her take-no-bullshit attitude against the Winchester’s. I don’t think she deserved to die that way and I’m sad that Cas did it. Cas makes terrible choices when a Winchesters life is threatened. It’s sad but true. I hope that the only reason they killed her off was because of Lisa Berry’s commitments to Shadow Hunters rather than any desire to start killing off an awesome WOC character for the hell of it. This show needs more diversity. Another reason why I am clinging to the beautiful hunting twins.

My one other gripe was the lack of prayer. Where the hell were the prayers to Cas? Can he not hear prayers now? Or did the Winchesters once again suffer a major case of stupidity and forgetfulness in that they have an actual angel on their side who canonically hears prayers? What’s the deal? Someone ask Andrew Dabb to explain this because its gonna bother me as much as all his car stuff.

Aside from the minor gripes and death of Billie, it was a good episode (second half more than first) and Cas was amazing. As I’ve already said he was the heart of the episode and I need more like that where Cas’ emotions are a focal point. That speech… I just… in my watching notes I just typed “ahkgnrjagbrjhjrbrguragivbhf” as it seemed an accurate response for what I felt. We need more like that! Dammit Dabb don’t let us down!

Now I just need to get on and finish my actual Cas meta before the Cas episodes air as I still have so much to say about him and what I think Dabb is planning, but I’ll leave this here.

[taiey]

The continuing adventures of “taiey writes liveblogs that probably only make sense with a transcript of the movie to line it up with”.

no peter please don't go after him

he really does get the most dramatic lines—ooh, green reflection in the window!

wow, that's. She really does ask for validation a lot of times

:((( this whole goblin kit thing is really elaborate? like, i thought you would've failed science. there is mechanical engineering. and chemical. for bombs.

That's a really, really stable spider web that is also flexible enough to support them without clinging, at that angle

[obligatory evil meteor mention]

Surprisingly evil-looking mail delivery guy! Uuunless you're her dad and you live here or. Oh, okay.

Oh, May.

But, like, no pressure or anything.

!!! her ring.

ahh evil evil scooter. of evil.

Harry this is not a good way to have an honest conversation. Stop punching your friend. No, I don't care that you're in costume, he's not, that makes it—DON'T STAB HIM!

I guess by the time your friend is yelling at you about his father, while wearing his green goblin costume and standing on his green goblin scooty-fly, it is acceptable to tell your friend his father was the green goblin, despite said father's dying request.

Dude! Attempts at vengeance on your best friend for murder of your father are NOT an excuse for massive property damage! I hope you pay for the repairs OH AND ALSO did no one get hurt by that massive shower of bricks onto a busy street??

"I'm still here! And now I have a lightsaber!"

oh no what if your new superpowers don't cover falling from heights? (I'm sure they do, I know he dies at the end of the movie.)

I wonder, again, if Peter took him out of the goblin costume first. like. awkward.

Wait, what? I thought when that guy jumped/fell out a window he died.

There's marshland in New York? With a terribly ill-secured particle physics laboratory?

OH MY GOODNESS YOU GUYS, YOU'RE TERRIBLE! you can't even check how much mass is in the reactor? How many birds with superpowers does New York have now?

Also awkward: imagine if those cops had gotten there slightly differently and fallen into the spinny thing toooo...

Go. See. Him. and hope maybe he doesn't remember you're spiderman if he doesn't remember you saved his liiiffffe  (oh, good.)

Hey, Peter, you maybe want to. idk. Tell MJ. Some relevant facts, about her friends and his father and.

yikes that's some horrifying sand movement. like. yeeesh no.

Oh... your hand cannot pick up your daughter's locket. :( —yes! go hand, reformed hand! Woohoo! :D

Hey, nice green-ing, sand. Good job. Stripy and everything.

Yeah dude no. Don't start talking about spidey now. The other stuff was kinda okay but not, well.

Okay so when there's a large metal beam swinging about nearby your window... maybe... not? with the walking towards it?

Man, what is wrong with this crane?

you did not pick a good guy to insult peter parker to, whatsyaname. eddy. Ed. idk.

“YOU TELL MY WIFE thank you.” heh. Slight, teeny, tiny, character development, I love.

He didn't see you there, I didn't see you with a camera. Where'd you get the camera from, Pete?

Ed. Shut up. He's paying you $50 for a front page shot, he does not value anything about you.

Like, that could be a conflict for Peter, ‘i could stage that and get a steady job’ buut I already know the plot of this movie and can kinda guess how Edward gets that shot.

That is an excellent Stan Lee cameo.

...how much... exactly... has harry lost of his memory... if he doesn't know he has money...

SUPER EVIL REFLEXES!!

...oh, Mary Jane.

...oh no don't you be jealous.

This'd be a really awkward parade thing if he decided to not in faaact show up oh no. Oh, no. Oh, man.

Wow, that sure is a conveniently placed "Sand & Stone" truck. Where'd you get that shovel?

Wow, bullets work surprisingly well considering he's made. of sand.

[obligatory note of happiness about the MJ&Harry bit. and. honesty.]

dude put yer mask back on

ehhhh look the thing about the humble never-asks-to-be-thanked thing is that it doesn't work when. this.

Oh my goodness he asks her? He suggests it?? Peter, no!

"No, Spider Man, no!" I relate to this kid.

like, i've seen gifs ofit, that shekissed him but i did not realise he aSKS HER TO

Yeah, same, Mary Jane!

haha but maybe this time mary jane won't be kidnapped

The sand is now driving a truck. Poorly.

Yeeeesh no, stop, no, ~sheriff~? You’re not.

tbh what if you just. Let him take the money. So much property damage going on here. So very much.

WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T KISS SOMEONE. WHILE PREPARING TO PROPOSE TO SOMEONE ELSE. WHAT. IF.

This guy... is gonna end up bringing you that ring at the worst possible moment during your inevitable argument. Isn't he. Isn't he, Peter.

You could also try telling him you got fired, MJ. He knows that feeling! Kind of.

...not that you should say that, Peter. 'cause it's kind of only kinda.

how have you not noticed how terribly your spider man/actress analogies go over. every single time.

Like in a literary sense it's kinda cool, there are parallels between their experiences, kinda... BUT NOT RIGHT nooow

shhuuuttt uppp (this is all like 5 seconds, i just keep. pausing.)

Hey, what could make Mary Jane feel worse right now? ENTER GWEN STACY.

ENTER GWEN STACY TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE KISSED SPIDERMAN

“Who kisses Spiderman?? :D” "Me. Most days. When I'm not mad at him for beiNG TERRIBLE."

I. I'm not sure. like. what the point of that question is. There is no good answer.

No. He did not, MJ. He had idea how it would make you feel, because BOY I DUNNO.

um. usher guy. no. SHE JUST LEFT, WHY WOULD YOU SEND THE CHAMpagne in anyway, whyy

Beep!

Oh, hey! I was right! That other guy did die, probably ...aand it wasn't your fault. technically.

We chased down the wrong guy?

Pfff.

Yeah so I think so far he really hasn't killed anyone. Not counting Norman or Ock on technicalities.

Does he feel guilty? About you or about... okay, don't say "I don't need you" to Mary Jane Watson. That's a bad idea.

The evil ooze has been hanging out in your bedroom for ?? weeks and it's only now that it attacks you? infects. thing.

"Hey, this was a lot quicker than last time I made a new costume."

Spiderman is just, like, an accepted traffic hazard by now, right?

Oh, I'm so glad he's being suspicious of the black goop.

...you're not a biologist, but you can recognise a symbiote on a molecular level in minutes when it's AN ALIEN.

dude please realise you look super evil now. even to —haha like you shouldn't smash people's cameras but also haha

"Little did Spiderman know, I have TWO cameras!"

OK I'll admit the black is legitimately good for hiding on dark ceilings

TRAIN ASSISTED WEB KICK!

oh gosh the body horror from this sand thing—hope that pipe wasn't important--ooh, water works.

...also hope this large tank of pressurised water isn't important and won't flood annnything else.

EVIL HAIR-PULLING-DOWN

...that's... kinda a valid point? but. I mean sure, he should fix the door, probably, just not being polite

Hey, Peter, you made a good decision! Nice! AND STAY OFF.

Aunt May isn't having any of this "murder can be good" stuff.

revenge == the symbiote ??

Waitress/Singer is a job? ...also maybe you should tell your boyfriend about thi—Harry paints? Cool!

(Does Harry know that MJ's dating Peter?)

Yell at people and they offer you oranges?

Hee Ursula! :D

He also cooks! And they dance!

M. J. Do not. Noooooo whyy

oh no. noo. different no. :((( no. Please, Harry. Keep your eyes off 'the ball' and ahhh—hey, there's that scene that wasn't in the VHS version.

Harry?? This is like 20% of the reason you wear a mask, dude!

whiiiplaaash oh my goodness ahh poor Mary Jane.

:((( see this is the kind of quality anguish you can get when you don't just discriminately kidnap, other supervillains take note

pete. pete. pe ter par ker. "I'm breaking up with you" is not. in fact. a good segue to "Let's get married"

Took them three movies but they finally made acting plot relevant. It's not! that hard!

AND THEN. YOU GO BACK TO PETER. AND PRETEND TO BE HIS AMNESIAC BEST FRIEND oh my goodness and then you use her omitive lie about the shoW AND THEN WE GO FULL SM1

“but. but she broke up with *you*, because she was in love with *me*. !!”

what. Why are. you winking?

Bright green coffee sign!

nooo. emotional anguish---->TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES

Right, Harry, overall—because I mean high marks for ingenuity and not-kidnapping, but—you're really lacking on the follow through here, like for keeping up the act. And wow that is a lot alcohol in front of you.

Harry please notice the ominous black spidey suit. Please. Soon.

harry im not sure you've noticed but you have blades. on. ur arm.

Takes symbiote!Pete to point out the obvious: that Norman.didn't.deserve you.

Kinda funny how after all that the picture in question is not, in fact, of Peter actually doing anything wrong.

OH MY GOODNESS, IT'S PHOTOSHOPPED? IT'S not even actually symby-spidey?

Yeah, no, Ed. I can forgive a lot of things. But reposts with the watermarks edited out? Not that.

hahahah

Symby-Pete likes Ursula's food?   . . .ah

*hair flick*

water doesn't kill him forever. :o

OH MAN PETER NO.

symbiote-Pete spends money recklessly.

Oh man, Gwen is so nice.

...alien meteor ooze teaches you to play jazz piano? ...and dance?

blonde hair and the black headband and their clothes and his hair and her earrings... it's a Look.

GWEN STACY IS SO NICE! ("That was all for her? I'm so sorry.")

NO.

get. out.

geddoouutt

"Who are you?" "Well, Mary Jane, I reckon I'm the exact feeling of a church spire silhouetted against the storm clouds, as lightning crashes in the background."

okay so eddy, brocky, rock boy. don't pray to God to kill people. Don't... don't do that.

How. Exactly. Do you recognise the face of a guy you barely know, four floors up, while he's tearing an alien ooze suit off his skin.

oh no his hair's still black

Continuing adventures of That Awful Door.

I hope Aunt May knows he's Spider man, because otherwise there is just waaay too much backstory to explain here.

I think she also wants him to keep the ring so she doesn't have to wear it.

“Spiderman... didn't have those teeth last time... right?”

Maybe not? with the watching her through her window? Also considering last time your saw her in person you hit her maybe not do that first part in person, perhaps.

"On Broad-way."

...you also locked the normal one away? Or, no, that was earlier this night. You just were using the evil one, and stowed that away. ok. gotcha.

Harry! Harry, you could do. a good. ...oh no. peter don't come also what happened to his face??

:(((

OH MAN. BERNARD! i don't think this is gonna work. but. thank you. for. saying that. [it worked!:D]

what happened to your face do you still have superpowers if you're not healing.

It's the real spiderman! He stopped in front of an american flag for a sec!

this reporter overuses the word 'seemed'

Brick!

you're stiiilll fallling

Listen MJ most of the webbing is really strong, you can actually move along it and even if you fall through one level you've got a decent chance of catching the next.

this reporter is so alarmist. and that one.

Goblin bomb!

"I'm not here for you~"

Burn it & smash it! :D

That kid is awesome! ("Film's extra.")

or. you could. shoot web. and not. jump. And maybe get her down somehow? Ground level would be... safer... lotta floors, elevators proabably not working...

why did that work?

ohh. noise.

oh... kay...

[tragic backstories make everything better]

i f o r g i v e y o u .. ..

i like to think he becomes also a superhero. subtler. smaller. never quite noticed, but. bit by bit.

why in the world is gwen at harry's funeral

(mj you do in fact have a job. and. a song to finish singing. um. but anyway)

"Girl at the final battle" yes. Her. Excellent.

The credit songs this time are so... gentle...

(Balance of probabilities Harry died intestate but maybe he drew up a will at some point when he liked Peter and didn’t revoke it and then they can go help Marko’s daughter, perhaps? Maybe.)

[paulmccartneyofficial]

for the ask thing: 1-150 🙂

ok charlie let’s fuckin go

here they ALL are

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

something tells me its steve rogers boy………

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

outgoing lmao

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

christine this summer :-)

4. Are you easy to get along with?

for the most part, but sometimes I Get In A Mood™

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

uhhhh i dont really like anyone right now?? um. the last person i liked, possibly, since that’s what i did for him. but uh. the only person i fancy rn is like paul or rumours lindsey and like paul would definitely take care of me but if im drunk and with rumours lindsey then that means lindsey is also drunk and there’s no hope left for either of us

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

k personality wise, christine says im attracted to “bad boys” which like is probably true??? idk. often artsy and aesthetically pleasing peeps ?? i dont knwo

LOOKS wise, my sister in law has pointed out that every guy i have liked has a square-ish face and has dark features and often times blue eyes, but not always. see: lindsey and sebastian stan. so i guess i have a type ????? lol

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

probably not lmao i dont have time 4 that

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

uh…………..sorry but its lindsey buckingham :/

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

not really no lol just uh. nonconsensual sex makes me uncomfortable lmao

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

@stevieselectricskillet

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“me: pretends i’m not paul mccartney trash anymore”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

oohh. uh. stockholm syndrome by one direction, stephanie by buckingham nicks, go insane (live in 1997) by lindsey buckingham, hold me by fleetwood mac, bright by zayn

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

i fucking love it

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yes yes yes

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i literally went the entire summer without smoking weed once after smoking like every day of senior year lmao

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

of course?? im not an idiot

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

we actually reconnected over the summer after like 14 years of no communication but we’re both very different now so we don’t really talk anymore

19. Do you like bubble baths?

i live for them

20. Do you like your neighbors?

yes! i love them all. they make coming home from school wonderful

and as for at school, i only hang out with my neighbors p much

21. What are you bad habits?

i pull out my hair unfortunately. sometimes i’ll pick at my nails if they’ve chip on their own.

22. Where would you like to travel?

england, italy, montreal, los angeles, ireland, lebanon, scotland, ancient greece, turks and caicos, the bahamas, hawaii (solely for the set of lost and jurassic park), and wherever hobbiton is

23. Do you have trust issues?

half of my anxiety is a result from trust issues so ya lmao

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

my hour long shower that i take because i’m living at school and i am allowed to use as much hot water as i want

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

double chin! :)

26. What do you do when you wake up?

check my phone/send snap streaks out/put on whatever song is stuck in my head when i wake up

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

i really don’t care about my skin color why is this a question

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

a few people. mary, lexi, and amanda, mostly.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

unfortunately……..

30. Do you ever want to get married?

yes

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

its currently in one

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

uhhh…….. i’m not the threesome type .… . if i had to choose two celebs for that particular situation tho, then harry s. and zayn, hands down.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

ww2gffg (egg) / kaeskiu (kaeli)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

i used to play baseball, but i don’t anymore. however, i, too, boogieboard, like lindsey buckingham does. disclaimer: i have been doing this sport since i was a small kid, thus, i have been doing it longer than i have known about lindsey buckingham. i truly wish we did not have this in common

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

tv hands down im not dumb

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

of course?? isn’t that part of life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

i don’t say anything. i just embody an ellipses by crafting a particular look on my face with raised eyebrows and unamused eyes. if nothing comes of it, then i usually let out a sigh and look off to the side like a dramatic bitch. i am a kim k gif

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

the main male character of my book is sort of my dream guy so there’s that.

he’s got a knack for aestheticism through artistic values, ambition and true passion in the work he does. he’s very sarcastic and funny, yet somehow still sweet with it. wouldn’t hurt a fly. hates trump’s guts and understands that feminism isn’t about him. has his privilege in check. he and i understand each other in a bond that no one else has with us. it is good. it is sweet. i am in a constant state of awe and shock of how in love with him i am. im even continuously falling for him more and more every day.

it is good and we are happy and we know each other better than anyone else.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

lush

40. What do you want to do after high school?

i am out of high school and chillin in college my friends. im gonna do some art

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

always. if they can recognize their flaws and truly try to work at them, then yes. they deserve a second chance.

there is always more light for us to see.

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?

im either extremely depressed or just salty

43. Do you smile at strangers?

yes, all the time. i believe that a simple smile from anyone can sometimes be enough to change someone’s day.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

either the state of my hair, my bladder, or my stomach.

46. What are you paranoid about?

being secretly hated.

47. Have you ever been high?

yes, too many times

48. Have you ever been drunk?

ya about 9 hours ago to be exact

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

honestly i fuck up so often that ya, i probably have

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

black??? i think? wow. i am now realizing that i’ve actually #MovedOn from the hoodie life. tragic

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

i am in a constant state of wishing i were stevie nicks

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

i really wish i had bigger hands so i could play a normal sized guitar

53. Favourite makeup brand?

um im cheap i thought sephora was a brand for like 2 years so that one time i think cover girl had a star wars line?? that was cool i own a few of those lipsticks

54. Favourite store?

its still lush

55. Favourite blog?

@lindseybuckingham

56. Favourite colour?

yellow

57. Favourite food?

ravioli

58. Last thing you ate?

a granola bar i think

59. First thing you ate this morning?

i pulled an all nighter its now 6:30 in the morning and i have yet to eat

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

i’ve gotten gold at a few jazz band and chorus competitions and then one time my DI team won our districts competition but only by default

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

hahahaha i was suspended senior year for leaving school early with two of my gal pals to get breakfast at our favorite breakfast joint. we were supposed to have at-home suspension, but our drama club show was that weekend, which meant we’d be kicked out of the show last minute. i look about 12 years old and i have doe eyes with long eye lashes. i cried my way out of that shit and saved both of my two gal pals in doing so, too.

we ended up all having in-school suspension with each other. so essentially, they locked me and my two friends in a room for an entire school day. we could do whatever we wanted.

we actually ended up acting out the entirety of the play, antigone, for our teacher that stayed with us. and then we wrote a song about a turkey named dave.

it was actually one of the best days of my high school career.

62. Been arrested? For what?

no but i cried one time when a police officer pulled me over for having a tail light out.

63. Ever been in love?

unfortunately, yes.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

i was a freshman. his name was alex and he was older than me and he really liked me and he was pretty cool and easy to talk to and stuff but also. he was greasy and did nothing with his life at the time. haha. and then one day, he and his friend, who also liked me, both separately asked me what class i had last. it was history. alex showed up at the door first, and he took my hand. the other boy showed up and was like “oh”. then i kinda just shrugged to his friend and we left him there. i felt like i was on the bachelorette.

then he walked me to my bus and just kissed me. and like we never officially said it but i guess we were dating from that point on?

it was quite exciting at the time.

65. Are you hungry right now?

no i took a medication that sort of ceases hunger.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

woah. uh. well some of my real friends are also on tumblr which is cool.

its kind of a weird question. i love them all equally? just in different ways. my real life friends are all people that i hang around constantly. i have deep conversations with them. i do crazy things with them. i love them.

my tumblr friends, however, are all a gift. there’s more of a set bond with them; we’re all friends not because we see each other all the time, but because we all have common interests and similar personalities.

tumblr friends are actually pretty cool. if you can maintain a friendship like that through long distance, then it’s gotta mean something pretty big, right?

i text and communicate with my tumblr friends a lot more than my real life friends, actually. if i’m on my phone when hanging out with my friends, i can guarantee you i’m texting my tumblr friends.

it’s pretty sweet.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter because no one in my family has one except my brother who i tell everything to

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr, obviously.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

no, i’m making this long ass post.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

irl: mary, lexi, amanda, my sister christine, my brother steven, my sister-to-be jenna, chris, cammi, jack.

tumblr: kate, emilie, ryan, charlie, lola, brooke, james, sophie, ken, erin, pickles, luki, kimber.

71. Craving something? What?

wine

72. What colour are your towels?

grey. all of them. at home, they’re tan.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

three normal pillows, one pillow pet, and one angry emoji pillow that i made and now hug because i’m a lonely fuck

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

i have one chewie plush thing and an old bruins bear that i often kick off my bed back at home.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

those are the only 2 i think

although i currently have the marsh hall monkey from community council that was given to me for one week and i’ve had it for like 3 months because i haven’t bothered to pass it on to someone

75. Favourite animal?

i am a kitty lover

76. What colour is your underwear?

yellow :~)

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

java crunch (its coffee ice cream with chocolate covered coffee beans)

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

its a black jonas brothers shirt that i got when i was 10. i am often found wearing this shirt

80. What colour pants?

grey sweatpants

81. Favourite tv show?

friends

82. Favourite movie?

i will always be star wars trash

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls ??? if u favor mean girls 2, then ur a sinner

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls, obviously. im not a heathen

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

regina’s mom

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

crush

87. First person you talked to today?

amanda, probably

88. Last person you talked to today?

u, charlie

89. Name a person you hate?

eric clapton or liam. i can’t decide

90. Name a person you love?

my birth mother because she is one of the strongest people i know. honest to god, there is not a single person on this planet that i am more proud of than her.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

myself

92. In a fight with someone?

the boy i Once Loved™

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

way too many, my friend

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

also way too many. like, at least 5

95. Last movie you watched?

…….new moon…….

96. Favourite actress?

carrie fisher

97. Favourite actor?

robert downey jr.

98. Do you tan a lot?

like go to a tanning salon? no. i’m broke. and i wouldn’t waste my money on that anyway.

in a general sense? yes. i tan very easily. my genes are very kind to me in that i don’t burn when i go out in the sun. except for my nose. :/

99. Have any pets?

i have a little calico kitty named beanie and she is my light.

100. How are you feeling?

well, given that i haven’t slept in 19 hours, i’d say pretty good.

101. Do you type fast?

apparently i type extremely fast and it blows a lot of people away

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

oh, honey. don’t we all?

103. Can you spell well?

yes, but i always have those moments where i second guess myself or have a brain fart on a very common word.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

i miss my old best friend, freddy, more than ever now. i haven’t seen him since graduation last year, which isn’t that long, but it’s long enough. he and i were like brother and sister in elementary school and even now. he’s the kind of friend that i have gone years without talking to, but then the moment we finally speak to one another, it’s like nothing ever happened.

he and i were both accepting of each other and supportive of each other in some of the hardest times of our lives. when the other kids bullied him for playing with polly pockets on the playground, i joined him in playing with them. we were inseparable from then on. when my mother came out to me and my parents divorced, he was the one i talked to. when he was coming to terms with his sexuality and discovering who he was as a person, i was always the person he was fully open with.

and after drifting away and not talking to each other for a few years, i went to him after being assaulted. i told him everything. and he believed me–he was the one who listened when i felt like no one else was. he offered me that shoulder. he understood and was there with me, through thick and thin.

and at the end of our senior year, through many tears, we said our goodbyes.

i’ve never felt more empty without someone ever.

(p.s. this made me just text him) 

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yes ofc haha

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

……ya don’t drag me tho. u woulda too

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

a long time ago, yes

108. What should you be doing?

i legit should be asleep and i’m not……

109. Is something irritating you right now?

there’s a sore pain in my left shoulder–probably from knots in the muscle. i can’t do much about it.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

ohhhh, boy. yes.

111. Do you have trust issues?

wasn’t this at the beginning

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

amanda that one time we watched that video of stevie and lindsey crying while performing “say goodbye”

113. What was your childhood nickname?

KP, KP Duty, Kales

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah thank god

115. Do you play the Wii?

i don’t own one, but when the opportunity presents itself for mariokart or just dance, i’m there

116. Are you listening to music right now?

ya, hey girl by lady gaga ft. florence is on rn

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

i don’t eat chicken

118. Do you like Chinese food?

chinese food makes me feel bloated and gassy and it smells that way too even though it smells good so i’ll probably have to decline and say no, i do not really care for it

119. Favourite book?

harry potter and y&b

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

it depends on how dark it is and if im alone or not

121. Are you mean?

everyone’s a little mean

122. Is cheating ever okay?

cheating is wrong, always. but if an instance happens where someone kisses another individual spontaneously, they have two ways they can clear themselves up from it: don’t do it again and tell your partner that it happened. do not get upset if they’re not happy with you/leave you, because you’ve done them wrong. or, if you’ve done it with an individual that you have fallen or are already in love with, then you should leave your partner immediately.

sleeping with someone is not okay. if you have sex with someone else, then you should tell your partner and don’t get mad when they leave you. if you love the other person, then leave your partner for them.

and always tell the truth.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

someone asked me this today, actually. bizarre. i’d like to think so. i don’t go through huge measures to keep them clean–i just don’t drag them in the dirt.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

yes. of course.

125. Do you believe in true love?

yes. you can fall in love with people. you can always be happily in love multiple times in your life. a true love, however, is the one that meant the most.

paul mccartney? he’s married, but his true love was linda. lindsey buckingham? he’s also married, but his true love is stevie and even he does not deny that. stevie nicks? she’ll deny it all she wants, but we all know, including herself and lindsey, that lindsey is also her true love. troy and gabriella? we all know the answer.

true love is real.

126. Are you currently bored?

clearly since i’ve spent like. three hours working on this jesus fuck

127. What makes you happy?

music, people, family, and life.

128. Would you change your name?

i love my name. it was my mother’s gift to me when she brought me into this little world. i am blessed to have a mother that i love so much and that loves me so much. when i think it, i think of her and her silly story of how she came up with it. i identify with it strongly for this reason–it is a constant connection to my mother.

the only thing i’m actually planning is to add the middle name “jane”, as my mother has always calls me by “kaeli jane”. she wishes she thought of that before she named me, as she loves it so much more now.

129. What your zodiac sign?

capricorn

130. Do you like subway?

this is so vague. the restaurant? the transportation?

i’m don’t particularly care for either one. mixed feelings.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-TE_Ys4iwM

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

this is another repeat

@stevieselectricskillet

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

And he was just like a great dark wingWithin the wings of a stormI think I had met my match

He was singing and undoing the laces

134. Can you count to one million?

what kind of question is this

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

any post with mclennon that i make is a dumb ass lie

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

137. How tall are you?

5 feet tall :/

138. Curly or Straight hair?

my hair is normally straight but sometimes some of the front strands just naturally have banana curls and i don’t understand how it happens but also im not complaining

139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette my friend

140. Summer or Winter?

i always used to say winter and then winter always comes and i always want to die so summer

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

december because im narcissistic and love my birthday month the best

september is also a good month. lots of good songs about it and also a very lucky month for me in the past

143. Are you a vegetarian?

i only eat turkey when i have to eat meats (i.e. being home with my parents for a week, when the vegetarian options at my school are heavily cream based, as i am lactose intolerant, etc.) but i typically choose not to eat meat

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark chocolate

145. Tea or Coffee?

coffee in the morning and tea at night

146. Was today a good day?

sure, i suppose

147. Mars or Snickers?

mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don’t want anyone to KNOW that” - Carrie Fisher

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

yes omg

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“The months March, April, May, June, and July should not be abbreviated when used to indicate a specific date.”

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x11 watching notes

For once I think it's kind of obvious what my expectations are if you've been reading my blog... I also was spoiled last night after it aired that my favourite reoccurring guest star is in it, but on the other hand there's a ton of second hand embarrassment... I've just got back from yoga so let's try and be zen and enjoy it :P

-

Also it's not a plot episode so I can be a bit more chill and enjoy the MotW nonsense without writing 100 miles of meta. I hope

-

Witches! (we already knew that, I'm just putting another note into "the only actual monster we've seen so far has been the one werewolf and one vampire Mary killed and everyone else has been a human, angel or demon this season" jar

I need a better label for that jar

Anyway from the looks of things this episode is all about a very human fear that just happens to be tripped by witchcraft and it would be a fucking waste not to milk it for 99% of the episode)

-

Holy shit they used the "poor little guy" from 3x09 that always breaks my heart. Are they really churning up old Edlund stuff so much that the recap was 90% 3x09 and they decided to give Dean a bunny BECAUSE of his broken heart at the sight of the dead bunny in 3x09?

I really hope Edlund is watching this season and laughing like crazy

Anyway before the promo is even over, we have an interesting point of thought for the episode, and a comparison back to Dean revealing a weird vulnerability for no reason in the middle of a case. And more Edlund parallels than you can shake a stick at.

-

Oh good the cold open is the witch who curses Dean... Definitely going to milk this for all it's worth. This is like fan fics where the first like 3 paragraphs are "and then they met a witch and it cursed them and then ran off or got killed" and all the rest is just whatever they actually wanted to write.

More Dean running around in woods (Purgatory callbacks), and mirroring a few episodes which started with the traditional cold open victim actually being the monster pursued by hunters.

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Dean waking up lying in the forest on the ground... He's done that a few times, in more dire circumstances I've seen paralleled together - 11x01 and 5x04. Interestingly I guess knocked out both times by a dark mirror to himself but who would never actually harm him. There's something peaceful about the way he has the bunny hanging out with him.

It makes him seem harmless too.

...

You know I could stop watching this show right here... I've seen 12x10 and now I've seen Dean Winchester calmly pick up a rabbit and call it "buddy" I mean... is there even anywhere to go from here?

But I've heard Kuma is in the episode so I shall press on

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Like, emotionally though, I think the show might be over for me :P

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The town is called "Eureka Springs" which is kind of funny, because of the double water association and of course the association to revelation and learning. We gonna get a  big scientific discovery about Dean outside of the now doubly confirmed fact that rabbits are his favourite animal?

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KUMA

Oh dang he's got a big part here... Do I gif all of it?

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I should probably backtrack because I was just reading myself writing about 2x20 for some reason this morning (I think I was looking for something else completely unrelated) and I stumbled on a little discussion about subverting it or, well, its obvious relevance now Mary is around. The woman with the stroller assumes Dean is homeless and tells him not to buy a drink when she gives him some cash, which I guess was a thing in that episode that everyone assumed Dean was a drunk. It's a tiny detail (I mean, he IS an alcoholic, although functioning better than usual and his drinking has got a lot better since he lost the Mark) but if we're peeling back Dean, I think an interesting little one to start with.

I mean, we've started with Purgatory!Dean, and Actual Fluffy Bunny Lover Dean, so... it's a bit wild.

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Dean remembers Sam's number.

Not where he is though.

Waffles! I'm with Dean here.

I too drop everything in a crisis when waffles are an option and someone's just paid me to leave them alone.

(Okay that's never happened - I'm delightful)

"What psycho doesn't love waffles" I mean come on even METATRON loved waffles, although they did not love him. Which is perhaps a more important sign of how dreadful he was :P

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Ah jeeze I really want waffles.

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Promo scene!

We have NO idea what Dean did the night before, so the thing with the girl is even more out of context... I wonder what it will end up being about? He looked like he was pretty busy hunting that witch last night. Events do not add up.

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Sam has been convinced by Dean asking for painkillers that it's a hangover, and I think *Dean*, knowing himself, might think he just got blackout drunk somehow. The woman telling him not to buy a drink remains vaguely important, thematically...

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Sam also is getting concerned, and makes a general life advice warning to Dean to stop drinking so much.

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Okay the girl who slapped Dean comes in, looks at him and goes "oh my god" and is ushered away by her friend - did THAT happen in the promo?

No, no it did not. Her response is given way more attention here - that was definitely edited out for the promo. Crafting the scene to look like something different. Huh. (I mean I know they've used different takes in promos, like in 10x01 using one which completely changed how much of a jerk Demon!Dean looked from the finished product... They do really manipulate these things.)

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I really like how we're dumped on this case like Dean is - we only have one advantage, that we're already aware he's cursed while he isn't. Aside from that, we seem to be discovering it like Dean is, like how Sam springs the idea we're going to the morgue next on us.

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Also did Dean lick his knife more intently in the promo asking for a friend

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Huh I don't think her interaction with him has changed very much - I'm pretty sure she did just say hi then slap him in the promo too. The way she stopped when she saw him though is very suspicious because she sounded so horrified to see him.

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Oh no Sam and Dean are wearing nice coats with their suits. I guess there's gonna be a lot of gifs :P

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Really pretty morgue technician with no lines. Honestly if she doesn't get killed off that will mean finally after a lousy streak, we make it through an episode without a black woman being killed.

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Well the first thing to go is Dean's ability not to be squeamish and weird. There's definitely a text post out there making fun of Dean for spending a year in Purgatory covered in guts, but getting weird about using a public telephone. Well, whatever barrier Dean has up about guts is aaall gone.

Please don't puke, we've made it over a season without you puking on screen and we're doing so well.

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Oh no is this where Dean crashes the car. He's disappearing fast :< I thought that might be later in the episode.

I suppose Sam has to realise eventually that something is wrong with Dean.

I can't believe Sam lets Dean drive when he's "plastered"... I mean he must drive over the legal limit basically all the time and Sam's used to it, but can we just... make this a "wear seatbelts" road safety episode? Please take that car away from him, Sam.

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OH NO Sam takes this moment for honesty hour - "Makes me want to crawl into a bottle too" - when Sam is drinking we KNOW it because he so rarely does it as a coping mechanism. I am indescribably sad about him saying that he feels this way :(

I mean I just take it for granted that Dean feels like shit so it's easier to deal with that :P I've been worried about Sam all season and he gives so few clues it's basically a pictures on a board linked with red string scenario to deduce if he's happy or not >.>

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FINDING DORY REFERENCE

"Not going to apologise for loving that fish. Not to you, not to anyone." Dean has his barriers down and he does not care who knows he likes watching Disney movies. And the fact that it's probably Sam he's most prickly around when it comes to protecting that facade... Sam is, well, gonna learn a lot about Dean he feels like he probably didn't want to know :P

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Honestly, Dean is me trying to remember the names of common household appliances.

There's something really bitchy about the way Sam labels the light stick and then covers the rest of the room in post it notes, even though Dean hasn't forgotten what they all are yet.

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Rowena! :D Mostly because Dean doesn't want to bother Mom or Cas... I notice something there - Cas is someone who a few years ago they'd have absolutely bothered for some weird magical problem. Now Dean wants to keep EMOTIONALLY distant from them because they're his family and he doesn't want to worry them/them to see him like this/him to blurt anything he doesn't remember he isn't supposed to say... In this case the fact that Dean DOESN'T want to call Cas for help sure says a lot more about how much he likes him.

Anyway Rowena is a badass and I love how she gets into these weird scenarios. This one is much better than all the finding a rich husband and killing him malarky - fleecing rich dudes over rigged poker games is definitely more empowering :P

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Okay yeah one of those post it notes says "Wall" - there is definitely a montage we missed of Sam being a hilarious bitch about it to Dean, and they're only phoning for help once it got kind of really not funny any more.

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I wish we saw that

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Dean and his "ICE BUCKET" what a tragedy

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"All these dumps look the same" Dude, don't be rude to Wanek. I'll assume this is because you can't REMEMBER them.

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Also the whole, living in a billion motels and until recently never having a place to call home thing - I was joking ages ago about Dean keeping a scrapbook about all the weird motels they went to or stealing mementos from them to remember the truly tacky ones... But the idea that almost all of them completely blur in his mind and he just doesn't notice or appreciate the differences...

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I love using Dean's "the last thing I kinda sorta remember" to take us to the office. They mentioned Memento but honestly I'm still thinking "Dude where's my car" although I know Dabb hasn't watched that because he's deathly afraid of Emus, so it's possible Glynn had to sell the Memento angle despite having other things in mind.

Like Finding Dory

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Dean steals a cigar (or two) - more implications that he smokes. I suppose when an angel heals you regularly or you were immortal for like a year and a half you kind of don't think of the consequences. I know some people don't really *smoke* smoke, but would have a good cigar if it came their way like this... I think Dean kind of has smoked in phases through the show, especially when he was younger, never mind all the implications he smokes weed, so... him stealing a few cigars is just more sneaky referencing this.

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To the bar! Hey, waitress Dean got slapped by!

We have more stuff with the names and badges - Dean messing up getting his badge out in time because he forgets to do it, forgetting what their cover is... Basically, a little demonstration that he's forgetting their covers in general - HIS covers in general. The FBI identity is something I've written reams on so I won't go into it but yeah it's his Performing!Dean next layer up, and what he does with it can often tell us stuff about how he's acting with his more sturdy and thorough Performing!Dean layer underneath, before we get to fluffy bunny lover Dean who watches Finding Dory.

Anyway she calls him out for using ANOTHER name the night before, and he's like "sometimes we have to lie to protect our cover" which is the most Dean saying ever.

-

Oh hey and then as usual with the badge thing, a moment later we're slammed with something RIDICULOUS like, for example:

"And then you hit the bull." "What??" < both Winchesters "Oh yeah, you had the hots for Larry as soon as you walked in." "He - you... rode Larry?" *Dean shrugs like whatever* "Was I good?"

yeah so that's not a coded conversation that sounds SUPER FUCKING GAY out of context and considering the "hots for Larry" comment, doesn't do so badly IN context, especially as it's such a, uh, suggestive thing :P There's a girl riding it in the background and yeah, the whole movement to keep on the bull? I know it seems like a manly sport, but it involves a lot of writhing and pelvic movement and that bull is like as masculine an icon as you can get.

And Dean had the hots for it

oh god :P

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Worked to win the waitress over anyway :P

And she apologises for taking advantage of him. Wow. I don't think Sam and Dean even know what all those words mean put together in that order. :P

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"First action in I don't know how long, and it's like it never even happened. Figures." "See now that's comedy"

When WAS the last time Dean hooked up? Back in season 11 some time... 11x13 it was suggested. (I have a lot of Snymelo vibes from this episode)

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Honestly Cas is living right at the Bunker just man up and go talk to him and I guarantee that I could get you some action in about 2 lines of dialogue if you let me...

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(Sadly last episode actually convinced me that there's really good reasons Cas hasn't made a move and Dean is pining unsuccessfully after him so I can't even be mad :P)

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"It's like watching myself on netflix" Aw

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"I know how to shoot a gun!??"

:D Oh sweetie

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Sam giving Dean the Talk.

No that sort of talk. the "monsters are real" talk.

You know who does that? CRAZY PEOPLE.

Nope, "Awesome. That's awesome."

He's feeling a bit better about the job I guess than back in Yellow Fever where he had the equivalent moment.

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Aw he found a torch! He's so happy! "I'll man the flashlight" Yeah this is Yellow Fever again :P

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Oh god we're only 18 minutes what can possibly-

Jesus Christ Siren Episode reference You've not talked about that for EIGHT YEARS.

See, last night I compared these 2 episodes before this one ever aired with the assumption that the Yellow Fever parallels might be obvious but the Siren Episode would only be a sort of leech onto that because of its own parallels to Yellow Fever so we would have to walk through YF as an intro to the Siren Episode and how it could be applied to this one

(Sue me I was already planning the meta and this episode is following the exact same pattern as Yellow Fever and the Siren Episode so I'm feeling really vindicated, right about now :P)

The point I made LAST night was that Sam had been reading Dean wrong all this time and messing up his chance to understand him in the previous episodes. This time, Sam doesn't really have any reason why he'd get Dean wrong? The enemy of the season is miscommunication and not understanding Dean is Sam's biggest miscommunication.

Whether he's taking advantage of Dean's cheerful no-memory state, and the suspicion Dean won't remember him bringing it up again or what, Sam feels secure telling Dean about the Siren, at least I assume not telling Dean HE was attracted to it, but that this is a thing that happens. Dean can't lash out, Dean doesn't feel defensive... He just takes this information as Sam tells it to him without being weird about it.

The fact Sam remembered and wanted to tell Dean though... Well, like I said, Yellow Fever and the Siren Episode are basically the same thing ESPECIALLY from Sam's perspective. Here he is for the 3rd time and Dean's all fucked up again, and no wonder Sam remembers.

He also mentioned Djinn "not granting wishes" which means my reference to 2x20 earlier was super legit. *more smugness*

(sorry :P This episode is fun. I like that the new writers have watched the show)

Anyway, I'll be thriving off that reminder for a while :D Better carry on watching before I get sucked into a vortex of comparing episodes before I even know how this one goes.

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Aw Sam calls it "the Talk"

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"Best job ever!"

Dean thinks they sound like heroes, Sam, who has the lived experience, voices some actual goddamn complaints about the job. GO SAM. I guess he's thinking Dean won't remember this conversation and so he can voice some things.

So HE does the "you know who does that? CRAZY PEOPLE" speech that Dean didn't make.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAH Bloody handprint. "Our best friend's an angel! WHaaaaaat!!!" I worry :P

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Cas will be fine, I don't think Jared's even had his 3rd kid yet. Misha needs to give them all paternity leave by having more Cas-centric episodes.

What a beautiful set up. Smol babies and more Cas.

-

But yeah something horrid might happen to Cas briefly.

-

Also Sam told Dean that he was "our best friend" and so Dean is totally failing to grasp exactly what Cas means to him.

He probably only remembers Sam as well as he does because he's right in front of him - if Dean had been with Mary or Cas he'd have forgotten the other 2

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"Is that a dead guy?"

Dean looks grossed out but also "Cool!" because dead monster.

-

Witches! These guys seem like fun people.

-

"I want my family back" she says while having Mary's hair and looking at the dead guy.

Oh dear.

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"Is that a dead guy?"

Sam needs to get a post it note for the dead guy.

-

ROWENA

"your hair is so bouncy" I think Dean is full of cute observations like this he's just never allowed to say and I think that's so sweet I might barf.

(You should hear how he talks about Cas ANYWAY)

-

Dean remembers porn but not quality TV oh dear >.> Sam puts Scooby Doo on for him, which I guess is sort of Dean's role in this episode :P More dogs on TV - reminder of the second "dog that thinks it's people" line with the person who said it the first time in the room...

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"Dean Winchester is going to die." "Sucks for that guy!" Well at least he's happy :P

-

Sam drags him away for a toilet conversation

-

Dean briefly regains a sense of self and is miserable

Sam why did you do that

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"You know, I've seen my brother die, but watching him become... not him. This might actually be worse" Please, you watched him descend into the Mark of Cain and then babysat demon!Dean for an episode, this isn't new :P

-

OH SHIT here's the "my name is Dean Winchester" speech and it's delivered directly into a mirror I am not going to make it

-

That was terrible also can I have a new heart something happened to this one *shows a box of shards to the cashier*

-

Sam don't be bitchy to Rowena when she's the only one who can help.

-

And Dean is struggling to remember anything

-

Oh nooooo

-

Poor Dean :( :( :(

-

or whoever he is

-

Sam is putting Dean's life on the line to be weird about Rowena helping them.

-

OH NO Dean's still struggling with it

"I don't know"

*wails*

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"Stop touching everything!"

I kind of love poor Dean when he's like this :( He's so sweet and... I don't know. Living in the moment because that's all he's got.

-

Also who is that voodoo doll of because they're having a terrible day too.

-

Aww Rowena already hates the British Men of Letters, so I guess she'll be helping later.

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"These witches sound like dicks. I think you have plenty of snuff."

Dean interpreted that she was talking about herself despite not knowing anything. Dean is good at subtext.

Also that has real echoes of "Doug's a dick, you deserve better" which made me squeee over Dean x Donna although obviously as the waitress said, it would be completely taking advantage of Dean so Rowena better not butter him up too much while his barriers are down. Especially as Dean has a "ugh witches!" gag reflex while himself.

It's also interesting that this is a barriers down thing for him to say. He was still getting over ACTUALLY being roofied when they talked to Donna that time, and I didn't think Dean was totally out of it there because he was engaged quite well in the conversation, but heh, it's an interesting comparison.

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"What a gift not to remember the things you've done!"

Oh no don't TELL him, Rowena.

"You're a killer" "scores of people" *gagging* "the greater good" (hey we had a "the greater good" earlier this season, right? I was laughing about the parallels to Hot Fuzz... Was it something the BMoL said? I see to recall paralleling their control of England to the baddies' control of the village)

I like that Dean and Rowena both have a gag reflex about each other's professions. But really loving this dynamic.

-

He might forget in a minute that Rowena told him he was a killer, at least.

-

Rowena having honesty hour because like Sam she's assuming Dean won't remember this (as you might have guessed I am fascinated about what Dean DOES remember about this)

-

"Power's what matters" Oh my god she's had actual character growth about this because of having to watch God and Amara suck at being the most powerful beings in the universe. Haaa.

-

Rowena does love nose-booping Dean

-

Sam is being pretty dangerous and scary in that way he gets when Dean is dying. Why do I get the feeling he's about to get a lesson in  being reckless.

-

I wonder what the butterflies symbolise. We've seen them on the show before, but in very different contexts. Hope someone else is on that because I have no immediate ideas. Like that they re-animate to cause harm. Not sure how much symbolism here for what though :P

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Aw Rowena does care :D in her own way. No respect for the car. Pfft.

(I feel like someone's gonna be all "Dean remembered Sam when he was in danger!"  but the phone is right there with his name on so I'm not sure)

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Having Gideon laid out like that is pretty ominous...

"We can bring him back!"

Yeah, okay, that was fairly obvious since he was still in the room the whole time :P

-

Wow guess they're swapping Sam for him or something.

- Aw Rowena wearing a long black coat and being badass.

-

Eeeeee more Rowena backstory.

I love her so much.

I mean everything we learn about her is so sad but it makes her motivations to be badass and not take any shit and obtain wealth and have nice hair really sympathetic :P

-

I am really loving how they're making Rowena more sympathetic.

-

Grenade launcher: DENIED

-

I swear to god this had better be building to Dean shooting it in 12x23 as the crowning moment of awesome for the season or what is even the point

-

Are these all Rowena's notes or did Sam leave the ones in the trunk

-

Whoever did it (I shall have to look at your handwriting again) you did good.

BUT

It was using Dean as a weapon. He had no idea who he was, no purpose, just these orders/suggestions and he went on instinct, couldn't even talk, COULD fire a gun, and had enough instinct to load the gun, walk into the house, and fight the witches.

I'm reminded of 9x21 (which I will be watching up next! Aaaah the dang rewatch! And GAVIN coming back...... Although maybe the new and improved Rowena might make that more interesting)... Whoops I... forgot... What I was saying. Uh. 9x21. Dean in the middle of the dark decent. Goes to kill Abaddon (mirrored in the fight with Lily and Ishim last episode), and for the entire scene from the moment he comes in the door, I think until they leave the building, Dean does not speak a word. He just goes in there on instinct, charges Abaddon, and pushes through he wall-shoving to get her, all on this brutal killer instinct that Rowena has reminded Dean he had.

Dean with no sense of self was very cute and goofy, but he retained his moral code (killing monsters bad, person who kills monsters hero) and he retained his killer instinct, so stripping him right down like that, I think this was the message of what has been programmed deepest into Dean, the things that would go last when everything else about him was disappearing. And considering I've been working through the last few episodes of season 9 lately, I'm chilled. :S Especially that the back up plan was to throw Dean at them as a weapon (I wonder if Rowena did it then, because Sam didn't have the thought Dean would do it, unless he labelled it all when they knew it was witches, but earlier in the episode when he was going on  his labelling spree)

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Dean takes Sam on total trust as well about who is the witch and who is his brother. We don't know if that was his instinct or being obedient to what he was told... I'm guessing this is going to be something with 2 readings.

I'm assuming the cheap answer is the love of his brother runs that deep and instinctively he would know.

-

Why was Sam NOT at the restoration... Aside from for setting up "who's this hippy"

I mean they even used the sad family music! What jerks :P

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Probably best to piss Sam off immediately so to avoid soppy hugs.

-

"Can't believe you called Rowena" "Can't believe you rode Larry" "Hey, I was awesome on that bull."

THAT'S your take away from this, Sam? I mean I'm thrilled but that's just... hilarious.

Especially as they don't mention the waitress again so the reminder is all about Larry and not about Dean's other conquest of the night :P I’m laughing.

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Does this episode end with Sam leaving the super powerful book of spells on top of the impala and Dean drives off and it falls in the street

-

I say this because I'm feeling emotional about Rowena implying Dean should talk to her if he remembers their conversation, and Sam is now talking about how he's jealous of Dean's no-memories buzz

Dean is like “our life sucks but if I was happy I wouldn’t have a shot at hooking up with an angel”

-

Okay no Sam took the book of witchcraft.

That doesn't bode well at all.

*she says vibrating with pent up frustration about how witch!Sam is being teased roughly twice a week with no pay off since like... ever*

-

Yay I knew we'd get to see Dean riding Larry at the end.

because this is Yellow Fever.

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I like Yellow Fever.

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This is sort of embarassing having all of the other Dean stuff in there... You should have just stuck with him and Larry

Let them have a moment.

This is their song.