#does any of this make any sense to anyone else am i rambling incoherently to myself again

[thatlittledandere]

Makin a fantroll :3 Started out as a sona but then I ended up giving her like, an actual personality, separate from mine. I mean we did end up sharing some traits - we are all the mask and the wearer and all that - but nevertheless this isn't a sona anymore. NOW I'm trying to not make her too Vriska LMAO

[astronautical-v]

Dumping almost every thought i have about the dwemer in an incoherent ramble because i have too many ideas and nothing to do with them. I have only played skyrim and know some about morrowind and read up on a ton of lore so im probably way off in a lot of places

Was thinking about the "fifteen-and-one sacred tones" that the dwemer mention and im trying to think. What the hell does that even mean? Obviously its reminiscent of the "eight-and-one" divines which implies its something to do with the aedra and daedra. So its either the eight divines (since talos wasnt a thing yet) and eight of the daedric princes OR all sixteen daedric princes. Since there just so happen to sixteen of them (as of then. Ithelia wouldnt have been known by them or anyone else around that time anyway). But then that begs the question, whos the "and one"? Whos the outlier? Im guessing either sheogorath or malacath. Sheogorath bc hes the daedric prince of madness and therefore the least predictable of them all, but also because sheogorath is also jyggalag, making him different from the rest of the daedric princes, as well as the fact that a mortal can become sheogorath just as tiber septim could become a god. Malacath because he used to be trinimac, and trinimac is present in im pretty sure every elven pantheon, and the dwemer, despite not believing in the divinity of the aedra or daedra, are very much elves, and would probably have known about trinimac just because of other mer. If malacath used to be a god, then it would make sense that the dwemer would consider him to be an outlier. Supposedly even other cultures dont always see malacath as a real daedric prince either, and malacath himself has to do with those who are scorned, othered, etc.

The dwemer probably viewed the daedra and aedra as nothing more than energies, the tones that make up the world (or something like that), but focused less of the divines and more on the daedra because the daedric princes are MUCH more present and involved on mundus than the aedra tend to be. The dwemer simply did not believe they were anything worth worshipping, or even considering to be above them. They recognized the power that they had, though, which is why they were called the "sacred" tones. I guess. I dunno. Alternatively, it was the eight divines and 8 daedric princes, but i dont know which of them they would be.

And regarding the term "fifteen-and-one", i was wondering what the 16 tones could possibly have an equivalent to in real life. I also wondered how they programmed any of their machines to do what they wanted, then somewhat jokingly came to the conclusion that they used some kind of dial-up and transmitted data via sound. But then doing a bit of research i found this:

16 tones. Crazy. Wow. Felt like i hit a revelation. Unfortunately i dont understand how that stuff works so i was reading a whole lotta words and not absorbing that much of them (i am not technologically adept). But the mention of radio was also really important because theres plenty of proof that the dwemer DID in fact have radio technology. Theres an item called "dwemer coherer", and a coherer is a really really old form of radio communication that basically only really worked for morse code messages and kinda sucked at it, but it was radio. And thats huge.

Regarding the radio stuff, i do think the dwemer had actual telepathy but that they also used radio. I think maybe their telepathy just wasnt as long range and probably like using a walkie-talkie but with their minds. Idk. I think the only way that kagrenac couldve used "the calling" to affect EVERY dwemer ever is if it was some sort of direct mental connection, and if every dwemer had that ability it would explain how it worked. Maybe kagrenac just amplified it somehow bc of the heart. And it would explain why yagrum bagarn wasnt affected, because if it wasnt some sort of telepathy then whatever kagrenac did with the heart would have simply had to affect every dwemer regardless of where they were. But since yagrum wasnt in mundus at the time, the calling never reached him, so he wasnt affected, and i just think that means it had to be telepathy. Idk im not explaining this point well but i hope it makes some amount of sense.

With that all said i think if they did have telepathy i also think their ears would be pointer and more mobile. Like radio antenna. Just because its fun to think about. They can "tune in" and out of other peoples... callings? I guess? Idk. They probably used radio primarily for longer distance communication.

With all the stuff about sound, it brings me to the falmer. I dont know why the dwemer did that to the falmer and im not sure if they were already all fucked up by the time the dwemer disappeared but im pretty sure they werent. But thinking about that thing in eso that they just had a huge machine that could make people go crazy and even mind control them, as well as in skyrim on solstheim that guy who was losing his mind over some weird dwemer thing under his house that emits a really deep sound if you listenclosely and ignore the steam pump sound (though i have no idea what "fire from the deep" could possibly mean, other than dwemer lived underground and had forges. Idk), their usage of tones was really for everything. They could probably hear a wider range of frequencies than other races and observed the effects of those frequencies on other people. Consider how old structures and machines irl produce very low frequency sounds that can and do affect the mind.

The dwemer very much could have used infrasound in their own technology for various reasons, but its probably what made the falmer what they are today. And, also likely, that the lack of maintenance of machines and whatever (since all the dwemer disappeared and automatons can only do so much) caused them to go "out of tune" and probably produce more infrasound that is impossible for anyone other than a dwemer to hear, which would have greatly affected the falmer mentally. Thinking about how gelebor notes that the falmer seem to have a "rise in intelligence" recently is probably because the falmer in the forgotten vale are so far from any dwemer ruin that they arent being affected by the infrasound they produce. Im sure infrasound alone wouldnt have caused such a huge chance in a whole race but this is also fantasy magic world so im saying this all as the dwemer had some elder scrolls world equivalent of it. The falmer developing sensitive hearing was maybe a way that their bodies tried to adjust to the infrasound so as to not be driven completely insane by it, along with aiding their navigation while blind.

And since this is fantasy magic land, this all also reminds me of string theory. The theory that everything that ever exists is made up of little one-dimensional strings, closed or open, that vibrate. And well sound is a vibration and theres a connection there that i havent fully understood to think through but it would help explain why theyre so atheistic in a world where gods are very much real. They just think everything is a form of energy that they are trying to figure out how to harness. And they succeeded in a lot of ways. If everything is made of vibrating energy, or tones, then you can simply make other tones and do stuff with that. Does that make sense? I dont know how to explain exactly what i mean. They probably had tone tech that helped them with excavation and whatnot. Breaking stones with sound. Idk. You can even shatter kidney stones with sound. Its pretty cool.

Also i think the dwemer ate a lot of mushrooms as their primary cuisine. It only makes sense. Living in places that have mushrooms everywhere. Probably how they knew about the toxic mushrooms that blind you if you eat them. Also they had a mushroom farm in blackreach.

I like to imagine the dwemer singing. Thats probably not how they did tonal architecture stuff but its fun to imagine they could do that vocally anyway. Idk

Uhh i dont think i have anything else i remember thinking about tbh. Im so interested in how their tech works and what they used it all for. Worldbuilding type of stuff. I dont know what to think about the soul gems or whatever the hell is going on with kagrenzel or the lexicon in avanchnzel. But yeah

[unknownchaos]

[flies towards your current location at high speed. Tries to open your door instead of breaking it, falis miserably, trembles, and falls directly on your bed] ... So you have seen the show!! That's amazing!! Please let's rant about it and reblog posts so chat can get convinced to watch it. Also, let me hug you <3

Accepting your hug with open arms <3 also, I love the show!!! So much!!! I'm taking your "please let's rant about it" as an invitation to do so, so here's the spoiler warning for Invincible under the cut for anyone else reading this :) (Also, warning for incoherent rambling. I got a little excited)

Where do I even start? The show is incredible, and the characters are incredible, and the animation is incredible; can you tell I like the show? When my friend first recommended Invincible to me (well, it was less recommending and more telling me to watch it) I did not have high expectations. Then Omni-man turned the Guardians of the Globe into red mist?? I was sold on the show right then and there.

Right before I even got to episode 5 with Battle Beast, a friend of mine who read the comics long before he watched the show likened Battle Beast's appearance in the first season to putting Thanos up against Pre-Serum Steve Rogers in a fight. I only realized how right he was when Battle Beast absolutely massacred everybody easily.

Dude, all of episode five was just phenomenal. I mean, if it weren't for episodes 7-8, it would definitely be my favorite. Everyone was just so cool, the action sequences where just so sick. I actually paused the show when Mark went super saiyan-- everything about that scene was so insane to me.

And then the fight scenes between Omni-Man and Invincible???? Jesus, dude. For a bit of context, I had only ever known of Omni-man from Mortal Kombat and a couple of out-of-context clips that made me think he was just some Deadpool-esque superhero. I don't know if you know about his Mortal Kombat fatalities, but in one of them Omni-man grabs his opponent and does the whole "holds them up to an oncoming train" scene he does to Mark in the show. At the time, I thought it was just a cool fatality, but then he did it to Mark in the show and I lost it.

Is this where I talk about my favorite characters? I'm gonna talk about my favorite characters now. Robot/Rudy is my #1, hands down. I saw him and it was adoration at first sight. What can I say, I love robot characters. While I do understand his whole "becoming-human" arc, I have to say that I am partial to his Robot version over his Rudy version. (If that makes any sense)

I don't know how controversial this is, but Omni-man's right up there at #2. Hang on, before you block me, I just think he's a really interesting character. The tears when he flew away from Mark? The fact that he let Mark live? All the fucked up shit he's done on top of that? There's just- something about him that's so interesting to me. I want to study him under a microscope.

Allen is #3. Like with Robot, it was love at first sight. He's just so cool and a good person all around, and I KNEW they would kill him off the SECOND his "Allen the Alien" title card showed up. I was watching the show with Red and I called it out loud and she said "they wouldn't kill him off, right? They wouldn't do that." and then he died in front of us. I was devastated.

Then it comes to Amber and Eve who I love very much and they are both very dear to me. If anything bad happens to either of them ever I will need 3-4 business days to recover. [Obligatory comment about how hot they are here. Anthony obligatory comment about how Eve with the buzz cut is an underrated look.]

I could go on forever about this show, but for both of our sakes, I'll conclude this post here :) feel free to give me your thoughts as well :)))

[makorays]

Ok I read the whole thing like three times. Like correct me if I wrong. Is that I should stop in general what I am cooking. Like I already know that it really dumb and stupid and not correct. I am not joking about making it and hopefully seeing I am trying to be sincere . You said saying that I Should not make it then because it dumb, crazy and not correct. I got another response before having made this one below the quote assuming misunderstand what I saying and full explaing what I trying to do. But honestly I am lost to what to take in. I have way to many ideas in my head. Most (99 percent) of them are dumb (not counting my music ideas they are mostly straightforward). I not am trying to be bad faith if it does I apologize. The other response probably look like it I don't know.

You know what just ignore what the response said below the quote of your response. (I'm sorry if I failed to listen to you)

"maybe you're just really fucking dumb and should shut the fuck up instead of rambling incoherently about all your half-formed schizophrenic philosophies about society? you haven't seen through the system, you just deluded yourself into thinking your dumb ideas were correct."

(here the below response which is separate from the response above)

I Understand what you saying. I am not trying to say this is a philosophy or it being correct in any sense. It is schizophrenic to the point it make the most insane person look by comparison. I don't really what will happen to me (I just worry about the people) I apologize for if this look like a joke. Jesus I don't know how to make this look sincere. The quote below just reminder. I wish it was harsher honestly. It not angry enough.

OK I hear you but I already know It really fucking dumb and not correct and just want to be eric andre and tvfilthyfrank (they were not crazy enough) and all the art (I mean all art like movie, games, music, all thoughts or anything that relate to it) combine and Jack it to infinite to see what it be like and what the aftermath of that result. NOTE THE ONLY PERSON BEING HARM IS ME and no one else. What if I say it schizophrenic enough to make people with schizophrenia to look sane by comparison . The point ( I don't know there is a point) is that I want crazy to be broken and leak out. I never really show this to anyone I know it crazy and dumb but it look interesting. No one have it done it before it. I don't know what else to say beside I just need what I want to create is to not destroy the people who care about me reputation to be destroyed. I feel like I contradicting what saying earlier. I don't know. I trying to be sincere as possible with the idea in my head. I never really tell about my crazy and dumb idea only my moderate or normal looking idea people be like "go for it". But never my bat shit crazy idea because I know what it is. (I am not sure if saying I know that it crazy, dumb and not correct make me look awful or better)

What the fuck should I do I am ready having midlife crisis in age of 21. Everything look fine but my brain keep telling that everything about to burst.

I Don't know.

ok, i changed my mind. my best advice to you is to either learn english better, or save your ramblings for other people who speak your native language.

i can tell you're being sincere, the problem is i can't really tell anything else. it's an enormous struggle to try and figure out what you're saying, and it's really easy for me to just assume you're stupid because of the way you talk (and because you refused to leave me alone no matter how many times i blocked you).

it's normal to feel lost and confused at your age. i think you should search for a therapist who can help you sort yourself out. i honestly can barely even fathom what the hell is going on in your head or what it is that you're so worried about or what you're trying to do...and i don't think you'll ever be able to explain it to me in a way i'll understand, unless you learn english better and also learn how to present your ideas in a way that doesn't seem completely insane and incoherent.

it's a therapist's job to help your brain to stop feeling like it's about to burst. whatever crazy ideas you have, they'll be able to help you figure out which are good and which are bad. i'm not a professional brain healer, i'm just a guy who is extremely confused by the way you talk. go find someone who will actually be able to listen to you.

[oblivions-dawn]

Caw :)

12, 23, and 28 for Vigdis AND Serana. Have fun <3

The way I SCREAMED seeing both of them mentioned together AUGH MY HEART

✑ How long have they been around? Do you know their birthday? Is their birthday the day you made them or another day? What do they think of celebrating birthdays?

The dreaded birthday question . . . So, I imagine that the events of Petrichor took a year, maybe a year and a half. Vigdis starts out at 26, and by the end of Breathless she'll be 28. She doesn't know when her birthday is--she only knows that she was born in the winter during a blizzard. She was born under the sign of the Serpent--I know, cliché, but it works with . . . well, her. And her story. She doesn't mention her birthday mainly because it was something her dad did for her, and it always made him somewhat sad because her mother died in childbirth. So, naturally, her birth coincides with death. Symbolic, now that I think about it . .. Serana, on the other hand, I've deemed to be. 1000+. I don't have a solid age since there's a lot of speculation around how old she is [trust me . . . . I looked], so I just picked something that made the most sense to me. I imagine she was 26/27 when she was turned. I also don't have a specific birthday for her, but she was born in autumn under the sign of the Lady. I doubt her parents celebrated her birthday much once she reached a certain age, so she, too, isn't that keen on it. Plus when you're a vampire, age doesn't matter at some point. Especially after sleeping through the majority of it.

✑ How would you describe their voice? Can they sing?

Serana sounds like Serana! Laura Bailey my beloved <3 I imagine she has a good voice [I've been told she does], although I personally think Serana doesn't like to sing. She would probably hum sometimes, though. She's more of a dancing type. Vigdis, on the other hand, has a low, gruff voice. Her accent would be similar to Frea's, as her father was Skaal and so was influenced by his speech voice/pattern. I think Vigdis has a surprisingly good singing voice, meant for those velvet songs that hit just below your ear. She doesn't sing either, though, as she doesn't really know any songs.

✑ How do they show that they care about someone? How do they express that they don't like someone?

Oh god LKJDFLKGJKLDFGLKDFG the better question would be is there anyone Vigdis doesn't straight up hate at first sight WHEEZE Since Vigdis is cold and guarded and very shut off, it's hard for her to show that she . . . cares. Alas, she does--she has! It was subtle, at first, but as the story has gone on, it's gotten more obvious, even if she doesn't acknowledge/admit it. She's very protective, often grabbing Serana or using her body to block oncoming attacks. She gets angry at Serana, who she thinks is too kind and naive. She's even started getting Serana's attention by gently brushing the back of her hand. It's a slow process, as she says one thing and then does another . . . but she's getting there. Serana is sassy and sarcastic with people she doesn't like or agree with, as we've seen when she interacts with Vigdis. She also gets angry because she cares, and she's very much . . . she's touch-starved. We've seen her touch Vigdis in ways that our favourite redhead normally wouldn't allow from anyone else, which to me is so significant because it shows the immense trust that's grown between them also shows how much they actually care about each other. Is my rambling incoherent yet am I still making sense I JUST CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THESE TWO FUCKING IDIOTS

[sunriseverse]

i don’t follow anyone else into mdzs and i’m having thoughts so they’re going into your inbox (sorry… *rattles my cage*) but you know that quote that’s like “when is a monster not a monster? oh, when you love it” well i’m thinking about it specifically in the context of yi city. that’s all bye bye (*cage rattles louder*) (wait i have more to say because in the short time xue yang was actually shown friendship or love or care or however you wish to think of it he just decided to stop being evil. he just got bored. and then it crumbled in an instant and he started being evil again and *i’m shot by a sniper*)

okay. first of all. how dare you come to me, in this the time of my convalescence, and whack me over the head with the iron anvil that is this quote in this context. i’ll literally never be the same again and it’s your fault (<3333)

secondly. i am so honoured you came to me with this!!!!!! i am not generally someone people turn to with their concepts and thoughts (as much as i wish it was different…………alas!), so thank you! i will attempt to answer this with the same care and love i can see even in your short ask. this is going under the cut because uh. it got long. oops!

the thing about xy is, to me, he reads very much as the other side of the coin that jgy is on, to drag my other mdzs beloved into this. in both cases, they’re seen as the lowest of the low—jgy’s mother is a sex worker, and xy is an orphan with no social status. both of them are demonstrated to be talented and have a drive to learn—jgy is a fucking excellent…….whatever his position with the nie is (i can never remember what it’s called, in cql or in the novel, but it doesn’t matter much; he’s undeniably good at his job), spy, sect leader, and yes, xiandu/chief cultivator. xy, on the other hand, is undeniably fucking brilliant—he manages to drag himself into cultivation basically without any help for most of his formative years, and then makes sense of wwx’s basically incoherent ramblings and more coherent, but still incredibly hard to parse to anyone who doesn’t 1. know what they’re looking at or 2. isn’t able to make incredible leaps of logic to connect his work—because wwx wasn’t just a genius, he was a literal, actual pioneer; no one had done what he was doing before—notes. i think this is part of why jgy keeps xy around for so long, even if he doesn’t enjoy his methods—he sees a bit of himself in him. (also, xy is dead useful—dead messy and slightly sadistic, too, but hey, we all have our faults, some of us are just a bit more bloody about them.)

the thing is, though—xy demonstratively did not have any sort of love shown to him at all, possibly ever, in any way, up until yi city. jgy, whose life sucks in so many other ways, had two saving graces of connection: his mother, and lxc. xy had………….no one. zilch. nada. sifir. ling. and so forth. you could argue this is because he makes himself unlovable, but if you think about that for more than three seconds, it’s wildly clear that it’s a (very shitty, self-destructive) coping mechanism—if they’re going to call me trash, if they’re going to call me insane, if they’re going to call me a monster, a nightmare—fine, i will be. i’ll take control of the narrative and show them just how bad i can be.

and then…………yi city. a man who doesn’t even know who he is finds him bloodied and weak, and doesn’t stab him in the back. he carries him to his home, and he cares for him. and xy, i would imagine, is waiting, this entire time, for the other show to drop. surely, he’s going to recognise him. surely he’s going to turn around and say, ah hah, i’ve got you now, you monster! i’m going to take you to the authorities and have them finish you off, because you are a bad person and i am a good person and that’s how this goes. and the entire time, he’s telling himself—as soon as it does, i’m going to kill him. as soon as it does, i’m going to take my revenge. but it………..doesn’t. xxc keeps weaving baskets with him. and going to the market with him. and living his life with him. turning his back and not assuming xy is going to stick jiangzai in it. (and probably telling him terrible jokes that barely count as jokes that xy laughs at far more loudly than he really needs to, because half the comedy is watching the gentle breeze be so goddamn bad at something.)

and xy, for the first time in his life, realises: oh shit. maybe i do want this. maybe i do want peace, of a mundane variety. maybe making myself sharp and harsh and hating and deadly wasn’t making me happy. maybe…………..being happy is letting your guard down around someone, and they don’t take advantage of it. (he would never think the word love, i think, even with a sword at his throat—“trust” is as close as he is ever going to allow himself to come to conceptualising it, less a fuckton of emotional development and growth, but i digress.) and like………..yes, it’s functionally a castle built on a bed of sand. at the start, xy deceives xxc into doing a fuckton of objectively bad shit. he’s the reason sl lost his eyes, and the reason xxc gave his up, and the reason the gentle breeze and the winter frost are no longer spoken of in the same sentence. but also—not to engage in therapy speak here, but this is something where you kind of have to employ dialectical thought: he can have done horrible fucked up things, and still want love. he can have hurt xxc, and be loved by him. he can have done bad, and have stopped doing so. he can be bad, and still be a person. (that last one, i think, is something xxc would fully agree with—were he to have found out xy was, well, xy, but living with him and not causing any trouble (unless you count threatening the farmers at the market who try and cheat a blind man out of his meagre savings, but i think a qing and i are both in agreement that this isn’t really a crime), i think he would not have killed him. i don’t even think he would have turned him in to the authorities. i think xy would be in for, possibly, in the future, a very long conversation he wouldn’t particularly enjoy due to its necessitating of laying things bare, but he would survive it. i think, at the end of things, xxc’s guiding philosophy in life is not, for all his idealism, that things are immutable—i think he would be pleased that xy has changed his ways, and decided to do good, rather than continuing to harm others.)

and then he fucks up. or sl fucks up. or they both fuck up. whose fault it is doesn’t matter; the end result is the same: xy’s temporary peace, his safe haven, crumbles. and he turns back to who he was before, because at least that’s easy. at least that’s certain. peace, happiness, trust—that’s all dust on the wind. you can’t put stock in that, his experience has clearly taught him that, once again, more harshly than anything else. you can love a monster, but if you leave it—it’s going to be a monster again, because that’s easier than trying to crawl on its hands and knees through the mud and pay penance by itself.

[porgthespacepenguin]

Thoughts about episode 2.7 (2/2)

Ready for more incoherent rambling about last episode and the future of season 2? Then buckle up!

(Also, I said this post would be mostly about team!Picard, but I actually lied. No surprise, there's a lot of Q and Picard in there too.)

The Borgification of Agnes Jurati

From very early on, I've had the feeling that Agnes is in fact, the Borg Queen we meet in 2.1.

There's a few reasons I'm now 100% convinced it's Agnes:

The Queen called "Picard" for help. Agnes always call him that way;

She's not like previous queens. She's not actually hostile: she doesn't kill anyone, and the "power" she needs is likely just energy to restore herself;

Agnes desperately wants what the Collective offers, much as it scares her. She wants that belonging, that merging.

The obvious: Agnes is now on her way to becoming a Borg Queen.

At this point, it would make no sense for the team to "cure" Agnes, only for a different Borg Queen to appear later on.

If this Queen is indeed, as I suspect, Agnes, then it's extremely likely that she's heralding a new age for the Borg, the next step in their evolution, and perhaps even a peaceful one.

And this brings us to Picard's sin.

Now look what you've done

Back in episode 2.2, Q angrily told a confused Picard that everything that's happening is his fault. The viewer is left to wonder, what, exactly, Picard has done that's so terrible as to make Q so furious.

And Q is furious, more angry that we've ever seen him. Most of that anger comes from sheer terror (and we are now starting to understand why) but also from frustration. And who can blame him?

Not only has Picard has commited a grievous sin, something so grave and so devastating it's literally destroying the timeline (and Q along with it), but when Q tells him so outright, that what's happening is a penance, Picard refuses to listen.

At first glance, it does seem like Q is talking in riddles, but he really isn't. In fact, in this episode, we learn almost everything we need to know:

"Show them a world of their own making (...)"

"You are the very board on which this game is played"

"I am but a suture in the wound"

"I could tell you, but you are far too clever to listen"

"This is not a lesson. It's a penance."

But there is one sentence from 2.3 that ties it all together:

"Shall we see what else has been lost in the wake of your fear?"

What has already been lost, I suspect, is the opportunity for the Borg to evolve peacefully.

By detonating the Stargazer out of fear, Picard has killed himself, the fleet, Queen!Agnes -- and any hope for peace with the New!Borg.

Hence the "blood on his hands". Q tells him he has an opportunity to atone, earn forgiveness; when Picard asks what for, Q answers:

"I think you know."

Of course, in typical STP!Picard fashion, Picard decides to utterly ignore Q and set about treating the symptoms of the problem and completely overlooking the cause.

In fact, when Q tells him he won't be alone to set his wrongs to right (implying that Q will help him), Picard flatly answers that, whatever it is:

PICARD YOU MUPPET.

So Q disappears and starts to help from the shadows. Since Picard refuses to even think about why they're here in the first place, he now has to find a way to make him confront the fear that caused this mess in the first place.

Which, by the way, ties in neatly with not!Bashir's line in this week's episode:

“Only you can stop it. (…) Why do we think we’re here?”

In fact, I predict we'll end the season right back where we started, on the Stargazer with the Borg Queen, only this time, Picard will make the right choice. He will face his fear of the Borg, of the unknown, and finally overcome it.

Maman Picard's story even tells us so: "All was right again".

But we know that everything is upside down in Picard's story, so it's likely not everything is right again. Something is wrong: the Sorcerer isn't evil at all, but he still dies and is forgotten.

So the price for putting almost everything back the way it should be may very well turn out to be Q's life. And if they don't save him in season 3...

The benefits of hindsight

While we're here, let's rewind a tiny bit, back to episode 2.1, now that we know more about what the season is all about.

Picard gives a speech at the Academy, and I didn't realize just how much foreshadowing they had packed in it until today:

"The true final frontier is time. In command, as in life, what we do in crisis often weighs upon us less heavily than what we wish we had done. What could have been. Time offers many opportunities, but it rarely offers second chances.

Time doesn't offer second chances, no. You know who does?

That's right, our friendly neighborhood Q. Let that sink in for a moment.

But wait, it gets even more interesting. Picard concludes his speech by saying that he is the last of his line,

But him being the last Picard is not a sad thing, because all good things must come to an end. And the Picards, as human beings, have done (almost) everything they set out to do.

What they need, what Jean-Luc needs, is a new frontier to explore.

And how better than as an ascended being -- for example, a Q?

Not convinced? Fine, how about this, then: he then quotes his mother, who always told him:

And he did.

He went to the stars. He explored space, the "final" frontier (which turned out not to be final at all, but that's neither here nor there). He did all that a human could hope to accomplish.

But at the end of "All Good Things", Q told Picard that the real exploration that awaits him lay not in "mapping stars and studying nebulas",

The true final frontier for Jean-Luc is ascension.

But Picard isn't ready yet. He has to let go of his fears before he can finally "look up" and ascend. I do wonder if Picard will have to lose Q before he does, however. I fear it may be the only thing that works at this point.

Oh, Rios, no

When Rios appeared on screen this week, I immediately thought: "Oh, this guy has at least one bad decision left in him, I reckon."

Lo and behold, the bad decision:

Seriously, mate, what are you doing? I get that Teresa is awesome (she's the only rational one of the bunch, and I love her) and that you want to be a space dad. I get it.

But you're in the past! Where any changes could be catastrophic!

(Rios is lucky the timeline is already so broken that it may not even matter in the long run, but wow. Rios, sorry, but you're a muppet too.)

Federal Bureau of What Now?

When Guinan and Picard got themselves arrested by FBI!Guy at the end of the episode, I sighed. Three episodes left, and they introduce a new plot line? WHY.

But then @celestialwarzone unearthed a very interesting tidbit: FBI!Guy is not, in fact, FBI!Guy.

Surprise!

Meet Lieutenant Ducaine from Temporal Investigations. The DTI is a Starfleet Department which apparently keeps a watchful eye on the timeline to prevent temporal contamination.

(Yeah, they're not doing a very good job.)

I'm still baffled they're introducting new characters and new plotlines this late in the game (unless Lt Ducaine has Q in custody as well, which would be. Hum. Something. But I doubt it.), but at least we might get some information about what's wrong with the timeline.

Or maybe not, since Ducaine seems to have arrested the only two members of Team!Picard who haven't been playing fast and loose with the timeline.

Someone really ought to tell him about Rios beaming civilians onto his space ship. Or, hey, the Borg Queen on the loose in Los Angeles. Just saying.

[suzu-kun22]

Care to explain why you’d think Date is in Boss’s body and Iris is dead?

Hell yeah thank you for being interested in my rambling, if none of this makes any sense I apologize, I am going absolutely Insane being hyped for this game. First of all: I have to clarify that the more I think about the game and the trailers that we've already seen, the more sure I am that the game is not going to be a sequel to the resolution ending. At this point I just don't think it would make sense, plus it would conflict with a lot of things that we saw in the trailers. IE: Saito's body is still running around, with a head, and unless it's some kind of sentient robot that has Saito's consciousness in it then that means that his head didn't get blown up and the body is still around. What does this mean? No resolution ending. As of right now, my prevailing theory is that the game is a sequel to the annihilation ending. I can't exactly rule out it being a sequel to the Mizuki ending – and I think that would also be an interesting route to follow – but I'm pretty sure we can safely disregard the Ota and Iris endings from consideration. Since the Iris ending would leave us with Iris dead and we see her in trailers for NI that are not re-used footage from AITSF and clearly depict new events related to the plot of the new game and, this is a bigger one, Ota is missing completely in the trailers. To me this possibly indicates that an ending with both of them dead is a possibility, and the scenes that we see in the trailers are a flashback to before she died. I also think it's possible that Iris is dead because the scenes we see of her in the trailers are universally framed as flashbacks. The scene of her clutching her head and collapsing (seemingly screaming?) Mizuki is shown as being 12 years old still, and the only other image of Iris is her in a high school uniform. Japanese high school students graduate at 17-18. She was 18 in the first game, and I believe no longer in high school, AND we saw a younger looking mermaid girl here too, implying this to be a flashback as well. Possibly a somnium.

I have other theories about the scene where she falls over and clutches her head screaming, but we'll start with the big two questions here Date's personality being inside Boss' body is a theory that is kind of entirely reliant on the game being a sequel to the Annihilation ending, because my train of thought here was that I cannot Imagine Saito keeping Aiba around after taking his body back. Not only would she be a major liability (having the ability to incapacitate him so easily) but she would also stubbornly refuse to be removed from Date. Since this ending also includes Pewter staying alive and (presumably) employed, my train of thought here is that Date's personality was left in Boss' body after Saito forced the switch. Date then asked Pewter to remove Aiba's memories of what happened and kept an eye on Mizuki without telling anyone that he was actually Date. Basically, I think the one in Saito's body is actually Saito Sejima, and I don't think he's going to be the killer necessarily, but he's definitely going to play a very big role in the plot of this game if I'm right. There are two images of him in the story trailer, and the first of the two goes along with the line "I don't really wanna talk about him", and the face he's make is not one that I could ever see Date making. My guess here is that Saito, after taking his body back, did something horrible (my guess would be killing Hitomi or someone else that Date cared for) and essentially framed Date for the crime.

This also raises the possibility that the game isn't a sequel to any route in particular. Perhaps it takes place in an alternate timeline from the first game (something Uchikoshi would probably do, let's be honest) where the events of the first game ended totally differently. But idk, we'll see if any of this is right. I am about to snap. I hope you enjoyed my incoherent rambling!

[breitzbachbea]

i want to send a ship for the ask game but i can't really find one to send- so i'd love to hear about just your favorite ship from anything, or one you just have a lot of thoughts on!

YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD IMMA TALK ABOUT OCS

You see. My main fandom is Hetalia and in 2013 I had the idea that for a little art trade fanfic, I needed some practical, one-off Human OCs. Just for this one AU story.

9 years later and nothing about this turned out to be one-off. 99% of my writer's output is for this AU monstrosity of its own, where the Hetalia characters now have been joined by over 200 named characters. It's basically Orig Fic with the occasional recognizeable name, cuz I do love the creative freedom, but I also love Fanfiction as an exercise of literary analysis, translating a character from one set of circumstances to another. If anyone wants to read pages upon pages of incoherent OC ramblings for this AU, the tag for it is #storie nostre.

And I AM most mentally unwell about SicIre, my true love, my one comfort ship to end all comfort ships. I will return to my Irishman and Sicilian until the end of time. But I don't want to talk about them.

Instead I keep thinking about Francetto these days, two OCs by the name of Francesco Belfari and Dolcetto Acerbi respectively. They're fixing each other. They're making each other worse. Both of these aspects are interlocked like a rusty set of gears. Dolcetto, who's himself a rather pragmatical bastard with a zest to right the wrongs done to him, isn't afraid of what lurks underneath Francesco's loud and cheerful persona. When Francesco needs to indulge his worst instincts, Dolcetto won't judge him for it and will even be in on the bullshit. They see eye to eye. But Francesco also appreciates that Dolcetto IS pragmatical. More pragmatical than him. More grounded, because he'll be able to pull him back from the abyss when he stared at it for a tad too long. Because Francesco makes Dolcetto want to be kinder, that in turn makes Francesco want to be kinder.

Because Dolcetto in turn doesn't feel inherently worthless and unloveable, someone everyone else would be better off without, as he grows closer to Franci. He feels kind of seen by the dirtbag that Francesco can be, he feels no judgement from the man who watches the entire world with boundless and morbid curiosity. The part of Francesco that IS cheery, that IS caring, that loves so deeply before it crosses the point of destruction makes him believe that there are good things out in the world and that he is worthy of them and wants to give them back.

Does this make any sense to anyone BUT me? No. But I am running on less than 6 hours of sleep, gotta be up at 7 tomorrow and can't sleep. So this is what we're getting. thank you for listening.

[gunpowdville]

hi this isn’t for the asks thing but u mentioned tim/lyf ?? i would Love to hear ur thoughts on that at some point i am Intrigued 👀

ohohohohoho thank you so much for asking!!!!!! fair warning when i say i have Thoughts i usually mean that i had a single Thought and then got emotional about it, so this may end up being a bit rambly and incoherent BUT!!! them.

So. Tim is actually one of the first Mechanisms that Lyf grows close to! He kind of takes it upon himself to make sure they're settling in and taking care of themself, because he remembers what it was like being in their shoes (fresh out of a traumatic situation, immortal against their will) and therefore somewhat understand what they're dealing with. He's very kind and gentle with them at first, but as he gets to know them they develop this kind of easy banter that quickly becomes very subtly flirtatious.

Tim actually gives Lyf relationship advice, when they realize that they high-key have a thing for Marius. Now at this point Tim is Pining Hard, but is completely oblivious to it.

Lyf starts dating Marius first, because they've known him longer and have had longer for the Feelings to develop, but it doesn't take long for them to start crushing very extremely hard on Tim. Now Marius and Tim are best friends, which leads to this utterly hilarious dynamic with Marius' best friend and partner obviously pining for each other, meanwhile he's just there like 'are you kidding me come on you idiots kiss already'.

It's actually Marius who sets up their first date!!! He makes them dinner and sets up a whole fancy setting, and then he just ditches the two of them there like 'you're on a date now enjoy'. They both are 100% ok with that, and that's how it begins.

Marius and Tim often pretend to fight over Lyf, it's all very loving and jokey, they like get into pillow fights meanwhile Lyf just sits there reading like (completely deadpan) 'oh my i'm being fought over'. And while Marius and Tim aren't dating, they ARE still best friends, and the three of them all steal each other's clothes.

Tim takes photos of Marius and Lyf being cute and sends them to everyone with the caption 'haha look at these losers' and Marius takes photos of Tim and Lyf being cute and does the same in retaliation.

this is based entirely off the way i write lyf and their interactions with tim, so i have no idea of this makes any sort of sense to anyone else, but i have. Emotions.

thank you so much for asking about them and letting me ramble!!!!!!

[shimmershae]

The more I think about it, the more “Find Me” feels like an echo of “Ghosts.”

Allow me to explain.  In probably the most rambling and incoherent way possible, lol.  My earlier post on Twitter about Season 10 being an exercise in grief and longing really got me to thinking.  Not just thinking.  Ruminating.  

Anywho.  

Posting the rest of this beneath a cut because nobody asked for this (I swear I haven’t imbibed or ingested any illegal substances).  

It doesn’t take long for Carol to be established as an unreliable narrator in “Ghosts.”  At first it isn’t completely obvious because there’s just enough fact in the fiction that Carol’s triggered brain stirs up.  Daryl’s there and he’s concerned about her.  He’s supportive.  Both things he’d been before, especially since Henry’s death, but there are just enough elements in those chemically and grief induced hallucinations of hers that make you go--oh wait a minute.  Like she’s having a break from reality but she’s desperately grasping for that which grounds her and that’s Daryl.  

Am I making any sense here?  I feel like I’m not.  

Let me approach this from another angle.  

Following the airing of “Find Me” various people mentioned that Daryl, similarly to Carol in “Ghosts” wasn’t exactly the most reliable narrator.  That things weren’t necessarily as they seemed.  The word toxic was bandied about but other than Leah giving Daryl an ultimatum to choose her over his family and Daryl dwelling in deep, longstanding depression?  There wasn’t much else overtly deserving of that moniker. 

Argh.  I’m still not explaining myself well.  Let me just jump right in the deep end of probable delusion here.  Sometimes it’s fun to splash around, lol.   

Wouldn’t it be wild—sad AF but still wild—if Leah was already dead when Daryl met her?  

Bear with me here.   

Like Carol in “Ghosts” Daryl is obviously struggling.  He’s grief-stricken.  His brother is lost to him and after he betrayed him no less.  His close friend is mired in her own grief--she’s just lost her mate, probably recently discovered she was carrying RJ, and it wasn’t too long before that they had all lost Carl.  And that’s not even considering Carol, who’s allowed herself to be pulled away, lured by the tantalizing chance of doing things right this time.  Of rearing a child capable of surviving in the harsh world they live in.  Another thing to remember is Daryl is not that far removed from his torture at Negan’s hands.  So he’s more fragile than he’d willingly admit to anyone.  

He’s searching the woods for a man that isn’t there.  Now he’s no more aware that Rick was taken than the rest of Team Family, but he’s unwilling to give up hope and so he searches and because Rick’s not there and hasn’t been since shortly after that bridge blew up, Daryl’s doomed to always come up empty.  To always feel disappointment.  To never have his grief assuaged because as long as there’s no body in the form of a Walker, there’s still hope.  Or plausible denial.  Take your pick.  

He’s tireless in his search.  He’s methodical.  He plots out the places he’s already scoured on a hand-drawn map.  A map that just so happens to get ruined by an awful storm and Daryl seems to reach his breaking point, screaming out into the roar of that storm.  Walking through the barrage, the harsh rain and the violent lightning, unconcerned for his safety.  

Dude has a bit of a mental break.  He’s undeniably emotional.  

It’s not long after that he stumbles upon Dog.  Or, more aptly, Dog stumbles upon him.  

That puppy immediately lightens Daryl’s heavy heart and helping it find its way home gives him purpose.  He’s a tracker after all.  He could have easily traced Dog’s steps back to that cabin.  

Funny that Dog was always coming to him.  That he was roaming free in woods that were full of hidden dangers.  

I don’t know about the rest of ya’ll but that cabin looked abandoned when Daryl first discovered it.  Maybe not long abandoned, but it didn’t look inhabited by the living. And that’s the weird thing.  How did that Walker get into the cabin?  Did Leah just leave the door wide open for it?  Did she also leave the door wide open for Dog to escape?  Why was he always such an unaccompanied furry minor? 

The thoughts swirling around in my brain, lovelies.  They’re going to force me to go back and watch that fucking episode again aren’t they?

My point is that Dog essentially leads Daryl to the cabin. The Walker’s inside and then he stumbles upon Leah, who bursts onto the scene like she wants to be Sarah Connor or something. Daryl ends up in restraints and Leah questions him and ultimately lets him go and WTF, lovelies.  Who does that in the ZA?  As a woman all alone in a cabin miles from anybody else, in the company of a man she doesn’t know from Adam?  If ever there’s a time to have stranger danger...

Right from the start, this chick doesn’t really add up.

So Daryl leaves the cabin.  He resumes his search for Rick and he seems to give very little thought to this Leah or the cabin.  Until Dog finds him again.  

Strange isn’t it that he keeps stumbling back in her path around the times that Carol visits, when she draws further and further from his reach and closer to the fairytale he thinks she’s living at the Kingdom?  

Did Daryl ever go to that cabin without following Dog? I can’t remember.  The episode was beautifully shot but ultimately too painful to rewatch for my Caryl loving heart.  

Anywho.  

When Daryl and Carol come upon that cabin in the woods, Daryl’s flashbacks begin.  They’re hazy around the edges and not as clearly defined as the moments he spends with Carol.  Speaking of the moments he spends with Carol, how coincidinky that so many of them echo his moments with Leah?  Or do we have it all backwards?  Hmm?  

Things are so convoluted sometimes on this fucking show it leads one to question their sanity.  

Let me ramble out a few wild thoughts for you lovelies again and you tell me if I’ve completely lost it, lol.  

What if Dog was simply an orphaned, abandoned Dog that found Daryl in the woods?

What if Daryl followed the trail Dog had traveled in reverse and stumbled upon the cabin?  

What if the cabin was abandoned because Leah was already dead?  What if she’d taken her own life?  What if Daryl saw the cross/grave outside and the picture inside and his grief-stricken brain conjured up a whole tragic story for this woman, this Walker roaming around inside this house, and she became his coping mechanism?  You know.  Kind of like Rick did Lori when he had his own break with reality.  They’ve all suffered so much, lovelies.  They’ve all got PTSD.  It’s just manifesting in different ways.  

I mean, all of this would fit the label of sad that NR and others have given this little tale.  It would even fit toxic because Daryl let grief and loneliness swallow him for a while.  

As Carol pulls farther away from him, Leah just keeps popping up more and more.  

Daryl essentially loses himself in his own fairy tale only it’s a nightmare painted in soft colors and Leah asking him to choose is basically his own psyche saying to him “do you wanna live here in this fantasy land and numb your pain or do you want to relive the awful reality of Rick being lost and Carol slowly fading from your life day by day?”  And at first he’s like, you can’t make me make that choice because Daryl doesn’t want to give up hope, no matter how futile it seems.  But then Carol makes what she tells him might be her final visit for a while and anger leads Daryl right back to that fucking cabin and oblivion.  Back to the solitude of his tortured thoughts.  

That note, lovelies.  It felt like by choosing Leah he was choosing a lifetime of being alone more than it did him choosing the hope of a new love.  That “find me” for all the world felt like he was willing hope to find him again.  Hope in the form of love in the form of Carol.  

Listen.  I never said this would make sense, lol.  

When Daryl gets back to that cabin, Leah is gone.  Her picture is gone. 

Truly it felt like she’d never been there.  

Even more so when you consider how run down the cabin looks in present day when Daryl and Carol seek shelter in it.  

I can’t help it.  Some small part of me?  Well, it thinks that Daryl told Carol about Leah (whether she existed or not) as a way to both make her feel better than he wasn’t out there in those woods completely alone and to maybe move the needle a little bit on the nature of their own relationship.  Both in the past and present day.  

And while he and Carol are struggling through the ever-shifting nature of their feelings for each other, Daryl has climbed out of his own darkness and found hope again in Judith and RJ.  In the family he’s embraced again. In the communities.  And he’s angry and unsettled because he wants the same for Carol but she doesn’t seem to want that for herself.  

He still wants her to find hope.  

He still wants her to find him.  

He still wants her to find love and peace.  

Help me, lovelies.  These two have broken me, lol.  I promise.  I’m stone cold sober.  A little, okay a lot, tired.  

Wouldn’t it be wild, though?  If Leah really wasn’t what she seemed?  If she were a figment of a broken, lonely man’s tortured imagination?  

Undeniably sad AF but wild all the same.  

[airi-p4]

Songfic: The listening

Hi! I can finally share this songfic I finished a while ago!  It’s based on the song ‘The listening’ by Lights. (After hearing the lyrics I thought it was so Marinette and I had to write it down. It was HARD. But I think I managed well enough?)

Notice: Song lyrics are in bold. Notice2: Scroll slowly! There’s art included 💙 Notice 3: A comic based on this fic is -> HERE <-. I recommend to read the fic first, though.  AO3 Comic: The Listening ________________________________

Marinette POV

What the hell I’ve just-!? Is this for real? Oh no!

I mean- it’s usual Marinette to stumble, trip on her own feet and mess everything up... but kissing Luka out of the blue? On his lips? That’s new. Problematic, even. Not because I haven’t been wanting to kiss him for a while- of course not (I’ve been dying to do so)-, but because his blue eyes are staring back at mine, confused, surprised, indecisive and expectant. I certainly took him unprepared. Not that I was prepared either! With mere seconds to think, panic is taking over me.

"Please excuse me, I'm not thinking clear. It must just be stress…"

Shit. I can feel my cold sweat down my spine as the hotness on my cheeks increases, and my nervousness is ready to take my body next. Not that I’m lying: I really am stressed out and I can’t find inspiration. But today… It's not really stress what took me here. I still have tons of work to do, yet here I am: with Luka at the park, messing things up again.

"I- I just saw you from my balcony and I thought to say hi...

But I likely shouldn't be here…

I’mSorryForDistractingYouWhenYou’reMeditating-! IShouldNotHaveKi-DoneTha-! Ugh…” Here I am, rambling again… “I'm such a mess…"

Why am I so bad with talking when it involves romantic feelings? Everyone knows what happens when Marinette is in LOVE. Stumbling, tripping, mistakes… and unexplainable stuff like the kiss just now. A complete mess...

'I never really ever know what to say When all of my emotions get in the way I'm just trying to get us on the same page'

Why can’t I just confess to him already? I’ve been trying to confess for a while. Opportunities to do so always either wasted or ruined by a hurricane of emotions. Words always incoherent and incomprehensible- and that's only when they actually make it out of my mouth... 

I always get it better right afterward When all the wrong impressions are said and heard

Luka always manages to give me some encouragement after, a different meaning to my words even, so I don't feel embarrassed after the failed attempts to confess my feelings to him.

How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey

Why is it so hard to say those words? Why can’t I convey my feelings to Luka? Why is he not getting my message? It’s been a while since I noticed my feelings for him. I really want to confess and tell him how I feel. I need to!

And yet, chances to confess are not outnumbered. Most of the time I’m either busy or rushing somewhere. Interferences. It’s always the interferences.

Wish I could explain the things that I have to work out

School, sewing, commissions, helping out at the bakery, being Ladybug… add recently becoming the guardian of the Miraculous and having to deal with Lila’s lies, too.. and even more: new feelings for the guitar boy… It’s too much for a 15 year old girl. I doubt anyone but Tikki knows actually how much pressure and stress I’m under.

I don't feel right What has come over me, I'm about To lose my mind

I’m overwhelmed with responsibilities, excuses, work and recently, Lila’s lies have become unbearable. I can't keep up with everything, resulting in me failing at everything. Maybe that's why my feet took me here, in look of Luka’s calm and freedom.  

Maybe I’ve already lost my mind. No, I must have. I mean- kissing Luka like that isn’t something normal sane Marinette would do, that’s for sure...

I never really ever know what to say When all of my emotions get in the way

I’m determined to tell him my feelings, yet here we are again: messing things up and wasting my chances to do so. It’s frustrating how I can't make sense around Luka anymore...

I'm just trying to get us on the same page (Wish I could explain)

If only I could confess! And I can't tell him everything I'm going through either...

Why is it so hard to tell Luka I want him by my side? That I want to spend more time with him? I just want him to like me as much as I like him. Why is it so difficult to explain my feelings?

Just like the kiss right now. I’ve really done it this time...

I always get it better right afterward When all the wrong impressions are said and heard

But I’m Ladybug, so I’m going to find a way to improve the situation… even if it’s too late to erase the kiss or the embarrassment I’m feeling right now, I have to find a way to dismiss any misunderstanding.

How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey

But how can I tell him? Why can't I just tell him my feelings?

Wish I could explain

I want to tell him. I wish to tell him. I wish to explain that I kissed him because I love him.

And despite all these minutes of random thoughts, he's still staring at me. Waiting. Immobile. Impassible. With breathtaking handsomest.

Why can't I just get something else to do my job and convey my feelings on my behalf? Like:

Can I let the trees do the talking

They would definitely not stumble as much as me, as wise, flowing and calm as they are.

Can I let the ground do the walking

At least the ground won't be calling my body as a magnet if he was! Surely no tripping or falling either. The ground would be good to do the walking...

Can I let the sky fill what's missing

Ah, yes. I feel what I'm missing is as massive as the sky. I wish I had something or someone to fill me for my incomplete imperfect self. Something to make me forget about all the work and pressure I’m under. It would be nice to, even if just for a while, become one with the sky. Serene. Vast. Clear. Blue. The same color of the eyes that are still focused on me while I look up at the sky: so pretty...

Can I let my mouth do the listening,

That one is the silliest. I’m really out of my mind, aren’t I? How is the mouth supposed to listen? It doesn’t work like that, does it? The thought makes me close my eyes and sigh.

And that’s when Luka’s silence ends. He doesn’t speak. His voice never leaves his throat… No words are pronounced.

Yet I can hear: my mouth can hear.

Not my ears, not my eardrums. But my MOUTH. My mouth is doing it: The listening. And I can hear as clear as pure water. With Luka’s lips pressed over mine, his message is conveyed clearer than a cloudless summer sky, over and above from what words could ever express. How is it even possible? How can my mouth do the listening? I don’t know, but I don’t care.

My mouth has listened to him and I open my eyes again.

‘I love you’

The received message is automatically amplified by Luka’s expression: his loving smile and the soft look on his eyes. And I’m melting.

Ah, those sky blue eyes. Like the sky that I wish it would fill me.

His calm and steadiness could become my ground to secure my walking, to always take the right path- his same path.

And his wisdom, flowing and natural self could certainly help me with my talking: say the right thing at the right time, express my true feelings, stop the stumbling and keep a steady flow of words... Or talk without words, like he just did. Could I do that too?

A match with Luka would mean all the Chinese elements aligned for me: the wood of the trees, the earth of the ground, the water of the blue sky, the fire of his lips and the metal of his golden heart.

And that’s it. All that I need. With only one way for me to describe it:

‘Perfect balance’

Before that, though, I still have to assimilate what has just happened. Is it even real?

I need to answer him, but the old same Marinette is back in action, stumbling and panicking. I can’t help it but wonder how to express myself properly. How can I talk when I’m speechless?

I never really ever know what to say When all of my emotions get in the way I'm just trying to get us on the same page I always get it better right afterward When all the wrong impressions are said and heard How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey

Wish I could explain

Oh. Maybe I don’t need words. Can his mouth do the listening too? Can I really explain it this way too?

What I mean to say

Will he understand it?

My lips brush against his again, more confident this time, wishing for him to understand my feelings….

And yes, it seems his mouth can also do the listening.

Now, after all the chances I missed or wasted to express them, my feelings can finally be conveyed:

‘I love you’

And my mouth can listen his once more as his mouth corresponds mine:

‘I love you too’

FIN

[golden-redhead]

Heya,in my decade long dedication to a certain infamous needlemouse fandom, a certain rivalshipping's aspect that I found really fascinating is the "underlying dread to end up/become like them" (mostly one-sided from the more heroic character's end). As you're one who seems to be really literally and analytically knowledgeable, do you think that aspect can be found in the Oumota ship?

Oh, that’s an interesting question! I honestly have rather mixed feelings on this one, so excuse me if this answer will feel rather incoherent, it’s basically me rambling out loud in a stream of consciousness kind of way trying to sort my thoughts out and give you a - hopefully - satisfactory answer.

I think with Oumota this is kind of tricky, because they are both liars manipulating their perception of themselves in other characters’ eyes. So I don’t think it’s them really dreading that they could become like the other one, it’s more about how they both understand and NOT understand the each other due to being blindsided by those lies in one way or another. So what I mean is that I think there is something to it for sure, but it’s kind of... surface level? If that makes sense?

I think out of everyone in the game Oumota are both most likely to uncover each other’s lies and also canon-wise come about as close to it as possible. I think it’s obvious that they both feel some kind of resentment to each other but I think it’s more over those masks they both wear than anything else. A lot of what I’m saying here is based entirely on my own interpretations of these characters, so keep in mind that I am biased and I am relying less on canon (as canon gave us a pretty limited perspective here, both because of Shuichi’s POV and because of the nature of the game) and more on how I interpret these characters after over 2 years of analyzing them and writing about them. So what I mean to say is that they both dislike each other’s masks, they both dislike that persona that the other one tries to be, which is funny because in the end it boils down to the fact that what they really have a problem with is each other’s dishonesty. I think I made it quite clear many times that I truly believe that Kaito was as much of a liar as Kokichi if not more. I think Kokichi dislikes this mask that Kaito builds for himself, especially since he isn’t willing to admit that it’s all a lie (Kokichi himself is very upfront about his lies, as a contrast) and just continues to lie more and more as the game continues. I think Kokichi doesn’t trust him and honestly, for a good reason. Kaito is... pretty transparent, most of the time, and I like to think that Kokichi is good at reading people. He recognizes that this is just a persona of a brave hero who talks bullshit about how everything’s gonna be fine, while - from Kokichi’s perspective - not really doing anything and certainly nothing actually productive. And in turn, we see at points that Kaito calls bullshit on Kokichi’s lies and even genuinely seems to want to break through this facade - calling him pure, constantly arguing with him, chasing him in his free time, challenging him and his words, etc. I think that in a way in chapter 5 they kind of have to let go of any resentment they might feel towards each other and in turn they get a better look at who the person beneath the mask actually is. 

I think what they really don’t want to be is to be like the mask the other one is wearing. It’s less about who they are at their core and more about those personas they both hide behind and it is frustrating for both of them.

Like, for Kaito the idea of being untrustworthy would be unbearable, you know? This is his whole thing. He gains people’s trust. He makes them rely on him. So becoming like Kokichi, isolated, always lying, being hated by everyone? This is everything Kaito would never want for himself, this is literally his worst nightmare when you think about it. Kaito is all about making this kind of connection and wanting to feel like he is needed. He would never want to be like Kokichi which I think on some level is why he’s so persistent about making him drop that mask, like, he is so frustrated with Kokichi most of the time because he refuses to believe that anyone would be like that. 

And Kokichi, in turn, most likely sees Kaito’s fake honesty and the way he makes people rely on him as... Well, kinda dangerous? And considering what Maki does in ch5 then, well, for a good reason. Kaito is dangerous because he’s both predictable and not. He’s quick to jump into action, he has people who depend on him and have feelings to him, he is able to motivate people with his words and I think in many ways Kokichi sees it as something he would never be able to be and in the context of the killing game also as something that might be potentially a big problem because Kaito doesn’t think about the big picture. Meanwhile, Kokichi is constantly agonizing about the killing game, trying to solve it. I feel like he sees Kaito as irresponsible, especially with how Maki (who is dangerous due to her talent and poor temper) and Shuichi (the one who solves the trials, the only real asset they have) are so dependent on him. Kokichi sees his lies as useful, while Kaito from his perspective uses his simply to gain admiration and delude himself.

In a lot of ways this dread comes simply from who they are as people and not necessarily because they have something personal against each other, you know? The killing game just really doesn’t help here, because it probably 1. makes Kokichi’s paranoia worse and having someone as unpredictable and well, kind of influential (his relationship with Maki and Shuichi) as Kaito in a situation like this one is a formula for a disaster and 2. Kaito’s hero complex is likely to be a bigger issue in a killing game than it would be normally, because he really wants to be this person that others rely on, he wants to be the hero, he wants to prove himself and not only is not difficult but he’s also running out of time. He feels the pressure of time and so he becomes even more unpredictable and prone to lashing out, as we can see looking at his fight with Shuichi. So there’s this very apparent clash, because they both have their own ways of going around things and these methods are completely contradictory and stand in the way of achieving their goals.

I don’t think that would be that much of an issue outside of the game? It is a special kind of situation and I it certainly makes things worse, I feel like in a different scenario it would be more about silly banter and teasing and childish rivalry that is ultimately enjoyable for both of them, like Kokichi pranking Kaito and him chasing Kokichi everywhere. As it is, it’s a conflict of interests.

[stevenuniversetanzanite]

The Angel Among Us (Cordelia X reader) Part 2

(This chapter has been rewritten/ edited since original post)

General Notice: I’m trying to get more works out during this time that is rough for all of us. That being said I am trying to keep it’s quality up.

This is technically a prequel to Fallen Angel (Work in progress), however it can be read as a stand alone series.

Summary:

If your reading as a stand alone: A witch heads back to Miss Robichaux's 20 years after she left in hopes of being a teacher there. The only problem is she hasn’t aged a day.

If your from Fallen Angel: The event’s leading up to Y/N joining Michael and the Cooperative.

I’m trying something with this and I’m not sure how it’s going to work so any feedback will be appreciated whether through comments, or anon asks. I did something similar in my Gone and left your world series were it had ~~~ in it and it either jumped, went to a flashback or dream. I did that here and it’s for the past/dream. 

This was originally going to be three different small chapters but wanted to reduce the number of chapters and decided to explain stuff I couldn’t through the ‘present’ basically context and junk. 

as these parts are split up I can make a post where there all together and link it here if anyone wants. 

Also they are so many parallels from my other series and some weren’t intentional.

Warnings: Slight smut, nightmare, murder and all that good stuff. (Everything is tame)

Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4(will be added when done)

She gave you the job without a second thought, thrilled to have her friend back in her life. This time around, it was different. The way she interacted with you, there was more behind every touch, every word she said. You had danced around your feelings for her from the second you fell for her. You didn't know you were gay; you had never liked anyone before and haven't since. Maybe you weren't. Maybe it was just her. She was the only thing your heart desired. No one else seemed appealing. She was straight, she got married to a man and a vile man at that. No one liked him in Cordelia's close circle, but you were all nice for her sake. However, her mother was always vocal about how he detested the man. She wasn't the hugest fan of you either, but you had something worth wide in her eyes, power.

You weren't one to force your feelings upon people, you didn't want to burden her with the knowledge that her long-time best friend was in love with her. Knowing how she was back then; she would blame herself for you falling for her. You didn't want that. Keeping it a secret was better.

She asked you about your time away, but you were reluctant to tell. It was a blur, nothing notable ever happened or at least that's what you told her. "I spent most of your time at your flat." And some ramblings on about jobs so she didn't grow concerned.

You were offered a job here a few years back by her mother about the time Cordelia was blinded. You jumped at the opportunity but as you went to take the job, the balance of the world shifted. Something dark was living on our earth and growing with power. You tasked yourself with discovering it before it discovered your fellow witches or any other good on the planet.

Something told you that the answer to some of your woes would be found with the source of power. The self-appointment job was a failure and you found yourself at the place you ditched it for.

It had been a couple of weeks since you got hired. You sat cross-legged in Cordelia's room on the love seat marking some of the girls' work. Papers scattered on the ground and the couch you had been sleeping on. Cordelia had yet to give you a bedroom.

"Are you sure you're comfortable on the love seat? Wouldn't you prefer sleeping on the bed?" She would say. Her desire for you to join her on the bed masked in such a way that your tired brain couldn't register as her quietly begging for you to join her. In your head, she was still married. She had mentioned multiple times that her and her ex broke up but a month or two doesn't rewrite years in your mind.

You had finished your marking an hour ago and had moved onto Zoe's to ease her workload. She managed to get behind, having double the classes you had that day as well as having to plan her work next week. You thought it was a nice thing to do. While, you were trying to distract your brain. Stopping working forced you to think and that hadn't gone well for you in the past. Countless nights spent in denial, regretting what could have been if only you had spoken up. Stayed away from the school. Ignored your mother's letter. Those thoughts were less common now. Instead, your mind flooded with thoughts of what was wrong with your body. Why your growth had remained preserved at the ripe age of 18- if that.

You threw another log on the fire before heading back to the marking. You focused on the flames using your pyrokinesis to refuel the fire. You smiled at a successful job done. Another hour passed and you were struggling to keep your eyes open. Strong hands gripped your shoulders.

"You're still up Y/N/N?" You looked over your shoulder to face Cordelia. "It's nearly 3."

You checked your watch. She was right, you didn't notice the time pass.

"I'm marking-"

"Zoe's work. I know, she informed me." Cordelia gathered some of the work on the seat moving it to the floor.

"Don't put them near the unmarked ones," you call out as she does so. She moved them instantly away from the unmarked ones. Taking the seat next to you, she removed the paper and pen from your hands and set it with the other papers. "Delia?"

She shushed you, pulling you closer to her. The two of you stared at the fireplace, the crackling of fire was the only sound in the room. The students were long asleep as the two of you should have been. She shuffled even closer to you. She eased your head into her shoulder, her hand finding it's place in on your head, playing with your locks.

"I appreciate that you offered to help Zoe with her work, but you do need a break too-"

"I get breaks-"

"That don't involve studying magic?" Okay maybe not. She knew you too well. Magic was your life, what else do you need? "You barely get any proper sleep. You sleep on this uncomfortable chair which is too small for you to sleep on."

"It's fine-"

"No, it's not. You're sleeping on my bed tonight. No question."

"Where will you sleep?"

"On my bed."

"But-"

"It's big enough for the two of us and it's not the first time we've shared a bed." You blushed thinking back on the few times you've shared a bed with her. Cordelia chuckled at your reaction. "You're too cute." You got redder. You begged her to stop but she kept going. She eventually ended it when you got too loud but not before she attacked you with tickles. You both were dying of laughter, you were surprised no one came to see what was going on. "Okay, bedtime." She patted your leg before rising from her spot. She laid a handout for you to take it. You yawned. "Come on captain sleepy."

"That was stupid."

"Shut up."

You yawned again, "A goodnight's sleep does sound nice and your bed is really soft."

Cordelia led you into her wardrobe, forcing you to rest on an ottoman while she retrieved pyjamas for you. She came back to you half asleep propped up against the wall. She chuckled not wanting to wake you up. She ended up shaking you awake lightly, handing you the a long sleeve shirt and pants. Without complaint, you changed into the clothes as she got herself ready for bed.

Once tucked comfortably into her bed, you wiggled about to get comfortable. She hopped in beside you, pulling you closer to her before she covered herself in her sheets. You stilled and cleared your mind for a peaceful slumber. As the night progressed you found yourself growing closer to the warm body beside you.

~~~

"Catch her! Stop Y/N!" People shouted as you ran through people's heaven's gate crashing and accidentally destroying them in the process. You jumped from room to room, hiding amongst people's belongings to lose the guards chasing you.

The group zoomed past. You sighed before stepping out of your hideaway. The air was musky, you got the sense you weren't home anymore. Your powers were unhinged, unable to control them was becoming more dangerous than ever. Accidentally transmuting into an unknown location was never good.

You've stepped into the devil's den.

You wandered, getting your bearings. It was all too new to you, how where you expected to follow along?

You stumbled into him, the man you were designed after.

~~~

You screamed, bolting upright in the bed. Your legs bend and move closer to your chest. The think sheets flopped off the top part of your body, pooling at your lap. Your upper torso and head drenched in a layer of sweat. Your hands flew to her head, covering your eyes from the monstrosity you saw in your dream.

The light on the bedside table closest to Cordelia switched on.

It wasn't the first time Cordelia had woken from someone having night terrors. In a school with a wide range of ages, it was more common than you'd think. The younger girls had them the most, as you would expect. Their minds were more active but even the older ones had them from time to time. Some of the girls were unfortunately exposed to trauma while growing up, being unaccepted for who they were as a witch. What she didn't expect was for the reaction to be so jarring. The sudden snap from unconsciousness to conscious was difficult for her body to handle. She needed a second to wrap her brain around the situation which was something she didn't want to do.

"Y/N, look at me."

You shook your head, beginning to rock back and forth. You mumbled out incoherently, describing the beast you saw. It was horrifying.

She asked if she could touch you when you didn't respond she slowly reached out until she made contact. You didn't flinch away (which she took as a good sign) nor did you move towards her touch. Ever so gently, she eased your hands away from your face, revealing your blotchy face and irritated eyes.

Your eyes flickered open, taking in the room around you. The face was gone. Feeling the weight of a hand on your shoulder, you turned Cordelia.

The door opened revealing three girls checking in on their headmistress and her roommate. They heard screams and wanted to make sure nothing bad happened.

"What happened?", "Is everything alright?" the girls asked.

"Nightmare. Can one of you head to the bathroom and run a hot bath?" Mallory sneaked past to fulfil the request. Delicately, Cordelia moved you closer to her. If there was any sign of apprehension, she would stop and resume once you were comfortable. "Shh, everything's okay. You are safe. Nothing's going to hurt you."

You sobbed, occasionally choking while trying to get a breath in.

"I-I s-saw evil," you stuttered out. "H-he greet-ed 'e w-ith o-open-"

What scared you the most was how you felt when gazing at evil itself. There was a void in your soul and bearing witness to the being began the healing process. The wound like while was tender but the pain that came along with it was gone.

"Shh. Take a moment to catch your breath."

"I-I was in hell-"

"It must have been terrifying but your back now, with us," Cordelia said. You knew wasn't trying to be condescending but you felt like she was.

Mallory notified Cordelia when the bath was finished. The supreme thanked the girl. You had calmed down significantly since then. Zoe and the other girl, information anyone who was awoken by your screams that you were okay, and it was safe to go back to bed.

The bathwater was warm against your skin, relieving you of the dirty feeling you can only get from being drenched in sweat. Cordelia remained by your side as you begged her to be though she was reluctant to leave herself.

The times were few and far between when you would freak out as you did tonight. At least in Cordelia's eyes, she rarely had you complain about any major problems or come to her for some level of consolement.

"It felt so... real."

"Dreams usually do."

"I guess I can't get a good sleep even on a good bed."

"So, you liked the bed?"

"I said I liked it before."

"Yeah, you did, didn't you? Would you consider moving to it permanently?"

"You want me to share a bed with you?" Cordelia nodded. You chuckled. "I don't know how you expect me to keep my hands off you- I mean-" Cordelia looked up at you grinning. "Wait, have you purposely not given me a room?"

"You know as well as I do, there are beds to spare."

"You're evil. You forced me to sleep on that couch."

"You chose to sleep there, darling."

"'Darling', what are an old married couple now?"

"Weren't we always?"

"What the fuck Cordelia?"

~~~

You, the 2.0, crafted in his likeness with the removal of his ill-intent. You knew what you were, they didn't bother hiding that. You knew him to be pure evil, corrupter of God's plan.

Free will, something you weren't allowed to have. We were all meant to be subservient to the Lord. He, the morning star, was the first to be cast out of heaven. He was defiant, not agreeing with god. All he would've had to do was simply said "I sinned, I submit, please forgive me", and the matter would've been resolved. But he was too arrogant, feeling too proud to bow down. He used his own logic and blamed God for misguiding him. Why would God give them knowledge if they weren't meant to use it?

~~~

Cordelia had been going on a lot of emergency meetings through your time at the school. Some appeared to be beneficial, like the time she first went and returned with two girls (Queenie and Madison) whom you were informed later on had died under her care. Unbeknown to you, you were replacing one of their jobs.

You heard about the boy's school from the woman who attended but remained in the dark about the specifics, being told it was council business and to "not worry you pretty little head," by Cordelia. You reckoned you had a right to know if it concerned the students or Cordelia's (as your unofficial girlfriend) wellbeing in any way but she denied that it did. You stupidly accepted her answer convinced that she would tell you when something goes awry.

You got on incredibly well with Queenie. You had some of the same favourite tv shows and she had many interesting stories to tell about her time trapped as a ghost in the Hotel Cortez. You happened to be a supernatural nut which explained your love for everything magical. You may have bombarded her with way too many questions about what it was like to be a ghost, people had to pull you away in order for you to leave her alone. She filled you in on her side of attending the school, adding in all the juicy gossip that Zoe and Cordelia left out.

Madison was hesitant to interact with you. You were the young hip teacher that happened to join after she died. You mean she didn't have to be stuck with Cordelia holding them back the whole time? You hadn't interacted with her until the fifth night after your initial introduction. She was in the kitchen raiding the liquor cabinet.

"I wouldn't drink that one if I were you. Cordelia will have your head if you open that one."

"Like I care," she said breaking open the bottle of expensive white wine.

"At least pour me a glass if you aren't going to listen to my warning."

She groaned, pulling out two wine glasses and pouring you both a lot. The two of you talked about everything and nothing. You'd finished the bottle by the time you'd retire for the night. You made sure she made it to bed safely before retiring for the night. You were all giddy by the time you stumbled into Cordelia's room. The woman was bundled up under the blankets with a book in her hand. She took one look at you and shook her head, "Madison?"

"Madison," you confirmed, flopping onto the bed giving Cordelia little time for her to move her legs out of the way. "She drank your wine."

"All of it?"

"I had some too."

"I noticed."

"Told her I'd pay you back for it." You scrambled up, crawling on top of her. "I never told her how," you purred, leaning down and taking Cordelia's lips for yourself. Your tongue tasted of the wine. You took no time building into the passion of the kiss. She moaned, re-adjusting how she rested beneath you. You pulled away, murmuring "Would you like that?"

"Yes," she moaned.

You made your way down her body, removing any fabric that got in your path. You paused, seeing the wound on her abdomen. The skin surrounding it was irritated and bruised. What you assumed was a scab concaved into her. Cordelia whined asking why you had stopped. In need for more she forgot about the mark of her fading on her body. She'd hidden it well from you this far, always having that area dressed.

You shook off all the questions you wanted to ask her, instead giving her what she is owed. No reason to ruin the night for the sake of feeding your curiosity. You took your time liking and sucking the right places to turn her into a bumbling mess beneath you. She cried out for more attention. She recalled hearing the click of the door locking but knowing it wasn't her to do it. She wondered if you were going to soundproof the room too.

"Scream for me baby. Scream so the whole coven can hear."

In the little time the two of you had been a thing, you'd kept any PDA behind the close door of your shared bedroom. Anything fun you had, the noise was kept to a minimum or the room was soundproofed in advance. All those times, Cordelia had been in charge. She didn't want to ruin her reputation and didn't want any of the girls to know what she does in her spare time. You, in your tipsy state, was overcome with a newfound level of confidence. It was as though you were someone else feeding off your need to please the woman you'd been in love with for years.

The next morning you were down bright and earlier. Your chipper self poured a cup of coffee before making your way to where Zoe, Queenie and Madison were. They all turn their attention to you the moment you walk in. "I paid her back," you said, directed to Madison as you took her seat at the table. Madison looked slightly horrified (and maybe even impressed?) at you.

"How long do you think it will take her to come downstairs?"

"She's already late."

"I wouldn't expect her to be down any time soon, I wore her out last night."

"Too much detail," Zoe said. The other two laughed.

Fifteen minutes before the students were expected to be getting up, Cordelia rushed into the room. She tried to play it off as calm and collective but she was stressing about being behind schedule.

"Sorry about being late, I slept through my alarm."

"Didn't you get much sleep last night?" Queenie asked, her and Madison were trying to suppress their laugh.

Cordelia deadpanned to you, "You told them, didn't you?"

"Didn't have too, we heard it all," Madison said.

"Oh God, the students. Y/N, what were you thinking?"

"Delia, they're all old enough to know about sex."

"It doesn't mean they should be forced to hear that." You got up and headed to the kitchen before she could scold you any further. "Where are you going?"

"To get dressed, students will be up soon."

~~~

You resonated with his actions and logic, maybe because you were him in some way. That's the problem with the likeness, the blurred line between who you are and who you are seen to be. If he betrayed then so would you?

Human's fascinated you, the ability to come back from sin and earn there place in the holy kingdom. It wasn't forced but advised. Sin still existed and you could choose to break the 10 commandments. Choice. You wanted to choose your life not be bound to a memory of someone else and forced through the wrongdoings as if it were prophesied.

He wasn't like you expected, rude or demeaning. He was cunning, motivated by ill-intent, but who's to judge if it's morally good or bad? Those concepts confused you, bad could be good in another's eyes.

The man knew who you were exactly, rumours of your creation spread fast in the spirit world. "Sister. I didn't expect to meet you so soon. I would have prepared for your arrival." He offered his land to you, to help rule his throne. He had bigger plans for the end times than he let on. He fed into your desire, the same confusion he had experienced at the beginning of his rebellion.

He offered you whatever you could have wanted in order to steal you from the grips of your creator. "I want to understand the purpose of all of this. Why are humans so important? Why are expected to follow subserviently?." A life of my own.

"Then go, seek out your own answers and when you get bored or don't like the answers that you find, there's a place for you here."

"How do I get there? I don't have control-" You'd gotten there by mistake, you couldn't your powers yet. The angels expected you to which is how the ruckus in heaven began.

Think of suddenly being were you want to go and step forward. You'll be incognito unless you want to be seen. No angel has had long term exposure to humans, who knows the damages it could cause.

~~~

It was the first time Myrtle Snow had gotten some time alone with Cordelia after their arrival back from their council trip. She wasn't happy about Cordelia's decision to allow a male student at Hawthorne to compete in The Seven Wonders. Cordelia informed her that she'd seen the future and it appeared grim. At some point she knew she would have to identify her successor but she needed to buy herself some time to figure out who.

Myrtle mentioned Mallory, and how she witnessed the girl completely reversed the wounds of a dead doe and brought it back to its youth. They couldn't deny Langdon's power and though she doubted he was the next in line, he could be what brings the end.

Cordelia admitted her powers are growing weaker and feeling herself dying. She told her Aunt that she hadn't told anyone about her dwindling power except her.

"It's sooner or later Y/N is going to figure it out," Cordelia said. She feared telling you, you already noticed the markings her sickness brought along. You knew too much about magic, sooner or later you'd question her and her state. One of the perks of being the supreme was perfect health. Those mysterious marks don't match that. "I've tried to keep her out of all of this- I don't want her to get hurt." She knew you were more than capable of looking after yourself, but she still felt obligated to protect you from the world.

Myrtle brought up how painful it was to watch you swooning over her for years and it was nice to see that you get a break. The underlying threat that it will be cut short hung in the air but remained unsaid. Cordelia never having mentioned you two being together assumed she'd heard from one of the others.

Mallory interrupted them and told Cordelia that her two o'clock is here to see her.

You hadn't seen Cordelia much that day, having back to back classes, a doctor's appointment then marking once you got back. You'd worked through dinner, not realising what time it was until it was eight and your stomachs rumbling snapped you out of your concentrating state. You had one paper left on witch history. As much as you loved the history of Salem witches, you knew none of these girls cared enough to write a paper on it. There all here to improve their magic ability, history isn't going to help with that. You tossed the paper onto the rest deciding dinner was in order. Marking can be left until tomorrow.

You found a tupperware container full of left overs in the fridge. You scooped a helping of the pasta onto a plate before shoving it in the microwave. You felt two hands wrap around your waist. You chuckled and relaxed slightly.

"Missed you today baby," Cordelia said snuggling into your back. You told her you missed her back. You yawned. "Were you asleep?" she said referring to the robe you changed into when you got home from the doctors as well as your yawn.

"Had a doctor's appointment and had to mark after so I decided to get comfortable."

"Doctor's appointment? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, it was a checkup. I needed to see if my medication was working. They're giving me a higher dosage."

"I don't remember you being on medication."

"I've been on them for years. Some problem with my blood. I can't remember the specifics on the top of my head." You changed the topic, the last making you uncomfortable. "You're being more cuddly than you usually are in public. What happened to keep it in the bedroom."

"That went out the window when they heard us having sex."

"You have to admit you enjoyed it."

"I did," Cordelia admitted. "You could say, I owe you."

"Not tonight. I'm worn out. I'm going to go to bed after dinner."

"I might have to finish off my work early so I can have a cuddle session before bed."

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

Cordelia ran off to complete any work she had remained so she could spent her night with you.

You finished your meal and headed up your bedroom. You yawned as you entered the room. The ground felt muddy. Your eyes snapped open. You stood frozen in a forest of trees. A lone gas station stood with a mile of road on either side. "What the fuck-" you rubbed your eyes. This couldn't be real. A man stood there pumping gas into his car, nothing out of the ordinary. You reached for your pocket. You had none. You're in a robe. Outside. With nothing underneath. This hasn't happened before and hopefully never again.

You shouldn't be here, how did you get here? No level of teleportation would have gotten you this far without harm, this place wasn't near the school.

You step forwards to make your way towards the gas station. Maybe he could help you, tell you where you were so you could call Cordelia and explain what happened. A glove hand slipped over your mouth, another around your waist. You were tugged towards a body. You thrashed about trying to escape when the person spoke.

"I'm not going to hurt you Y/N." You said something but it was muffled by the hand. "I'll let you go in a second but you need to see something first."

Another car pulled up and a woman stepped out. The two interacted before the woman ended up cutting his Achille's heel. He collapsed onto the ground and she slit his throat as well. To finish him off she poured gasoline on him and set him on fire. The woman pulled away in her own car. You watched as the man's flesh, burnt to dust. You screamed, cried out watching the scene unfold. You were helpless to do anything but watch on in horror.

"That man's name was John Henry Moore. He taught at the Warlock school, you know the one. He was going to rat out his brother warlocks for treason. His key's are unharmed by the fire. You have one of two choices, drive back to the school and tell your precious supreme that a warlock was murdered and have to explain why you were out here in the middle of the night or you could drive away, dump the car and not tell a soul." Both hands let go of you.

"Why did you make me watch that? Who are you?"

You spun around but no one was there. You decided to test what the person said was true. You crouch by the pile of ash. John Henry Moore, you never heard of him. That wasn't surprising, he taught at a warlock school. You weren't familiar with too many, you were always taught you were superior to them so you never bothered to look into them. You hovered your hand above the ashes, concentrating on who they used to belong to. Come on Y/N, you can do it, you repeated in your head. You took a deep breath in and out.

Information filled your mind along with snippets of the man's face. The person was right.

You snatched the keys from the pile of ash and hopped into the car. What were you doing? You can't steal a dead man's car. He isn't going to need it, you reasoned. You start up the car, listening to it rev. The camera's, they would have seen you hop into the car. With a flick of the wrist you erase any record of you being here before speeding away. You didn't know what to do. How were you meant to explain why you were in the middle of nowhere. You didn't even know where you were going.

"Where did you go so late?" Cordelia asked as you stumbled through the front door.

"Grocery store."

"In your robe?"

"Yeah."

"How did you get there? The van's still parked-"

"You ask too many questions," you snapped. She was taken aback. "I've been through hell today. Can we just leave it there?" You didn't give her a second to respond before you headed towards the back of the school. She followed you, stopping when you did. Your back faced her.

You'd changed energies since you entered the academy. You were no longer the sweet and tired woman she was planning on spending her night with. Now you were agitated. You rarely found a reason to snap at her, she worried something happened to you. She let your behaviour slide, not wanting to push you any further and cause a scene at one thirty in the morning.

"We have a new student, Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt. I put her in your class and organised a one on one with you and her today to get her comfortable being here."

You hummed fiddling with a pack of cigarettes you picked up along the way. You never smoked before in your life but the urge was all too tempting tonight. "Hmm~" you hummed, your mouth around the stick of death that was between your lips. Your hands fumbled about for the lighter you bought. Seemingly misplacing it, you groaned.

"I'm glad you're safe," Cordelia mused. "When you disappeared after you said you were going to bed, I worried." When you wouldn't pay her any attention, more focused on what you were doing she circled you. "What are you- Where did you get those?" She tried to take the cigarettes away from you but you moved away. "You don't smoke- how? Why?"

"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight," you said around your unlit cigarette, stepping outside and shutting the door with your powers.

You sat there until the sun rose. The birds chirping sounded like ringing in your ears. Visions of the man burning was all you could see. The hand around your waist and mouth, holding you in place. The helplessness you felt. What kind of witch were you? You had the chance to tell Cordelia where you were, what you say and you decided against it? Who were you? Not yourself.

Your robe slipped off your shoulders revealing your back to the cold day and showcasing your white ink tattoo of angel wings. You got paid 50 bucks to do it back in the day, now it's just scarring of the tattoo you once got.

You were on your third cigarette. You took another puff, missing the sound of the back door opening under the screams in your mind. A tap on your shoulder sent you zapping elsewhere. Landing on the other side of the garden, you quickly adjusted your robe, covering up your back and naked front. Your robe must have untied itself during the night. You dropped your cigarette butt stumping it out with your bare foot.

"Mal? What are you doing up so late?"

"It's 9 in the morning," she notified you. "Cordelia told me to talk to you after you didn't head up this morning."

"I told her I was going to sleep on the couch," she probably assumed the one in her room. Mallory walked up to you sitting down beside where you teleported to. "We don't need a mediator-"

"Go and talk to her. Assure her that there is nothing to worry about. She spent the couple hours you were missing tearing the place to shreds." You chuckled at the last bit. "She also wanted me to remind you, you had that class with Coco."

"Who?"

"The new student."

"Crap, yeah. When's that start?"

"Three minutes ago."

"Shit- you distract the girl, I'll quickly freshen up."

She nodded. You grabbed your belongings before teleporting upstairs to clean yourself up. You scrambled through your belongings looking for something quick to change into. You opted for a long maxi floral dress with your platform boots. You douse yourself in perfume before sprinting downstairs. You ran past Cordelia on her way to her office, she went to speak when you said, "Meeting late." and continued on your way.

You found Mallory sitting alongside another girl. You apologised for your tardiness, and greeted the girl with a handshake.

"Your hands are cold," she commented.

"I'm well aware. So as you're aware I'm meant to so you the ropes. If you are scared, it's normal."

You dreaded the time your class your one on one would end but when it did, you were happy that the new student was at least a little more comfortable being here. She reminded you of yourself when younger. No you weren't rich, you were scared of being in a place you didn't belong and not wanting to waste the teachers time. Any witch no matter how little their powers are deserved to be here.

Once you were done you were requested to go to your girlfriends office. You didn't bother knocking as she expected you. The door squeaked, "Your door needs some oil," you commented.

"I'll make sure someone does that later-"

"Oh, I can do it. It's no problem. I'll do it now-" You deflected.

"Leave the door. It's not important." Cordelia rose from her desk chair and moved to the set of chairs in front of her desk.She chose to do this to show you were not in trouble and to remove the desk from between the both of you. You'd both use it as a barrier to hide behind. She gestured you to take the other chair. You slowly shuffled to your designated spot, your platforms scraping across the floor. Normally you would have earned a look of disapprove from your girlfriend for ruining the school's flooring. Today was different, her pet peeves were tossed out the window, replaced with an emotion you had yet to determined.

She didn't speak until you were settled in your chair. Your eyes floated everywhere never focusing on one place and definitely not on her. She realised she wasn't going to get your undivided attention, it was for the best, you never made eye contact when you were in a stressful situation. The woman allowed you to get away with pushing her away far too long. She'd let you escape from her for years during her marriage or the nights back in high school were she'd gotten a smidgen to close. She saw why now, it was as clear as day. You'd pushed her away to save yourself heartbreak. It took her until she had the sight to figure out she was being cheated on and still she couldn't figure out how strong your feelings where for her. You were pushing her away again but this time she couldn't understand why, it wasn't like the last time you did so, you haven't left her yet. It was similar to moments in high school were she was getting a little experimental, bi-curious even, but you weren't having it. You didn't want to be second, you wanted the gold. Had you figured out her secret, that her days were numbered. You'd seen the markings. You could be bracing yourself for the pain, cutting off the ties before they were snapped from you. Self induced pain was easier to deal with.

"How did the session with Coco go?" It was best to ease into the conversation, make it seem normal, Cordelia thought. You both knew it was coming so there was no point in delaying the inevitable but scaring you off wasn't the end goal.

"The Vanderbilt girl is super nice. Is Vanderbilt or Pierre a better nickname? Pierre is a masculine name and she isn't very- Vanderbilt it is." You rambled on. "I think I did a pretty good job at convincing her she belongs here."

"I knew you'd be the perfect one for that."

"Yeah~"

"I want to talk about last night-" you went to interrupt but you were silenced. "I know you don't want to talk about it but that's what couples do, they communicate so we can move past it."

You nodded, your focus now stilled on the left leg of Cordelia's chair. There was a paper clip resting next to it, bent slightly out of shape. You wanted to pick it up and put it with the rest or at least fiddle with it to distract your mind from what she was asking you to do. Talking was a chore, why would you need to talk, can't she just read your mind, or the energy you're radiating? Her idea wasn't a good one. Emotions are meant to be expressed outwardly and if not, they should remain to one's self.

"You said you were going to bed. You could have given me a heads up or texted me that you had to go out."

"I did head to bed." Your voice was small. Your hands fiddle with the light fabric of your attire. "I didn't plan on going out... It kind of happened."

"You going somewhere doesn't usually just happen. You have to actively seek out doing it."

"I-I teleported- I think. Whatever happened wasn't intentional."

"You teleported? Where?"

"I don't-" Should you tell the truth? "A park, an hour away. I went to the grocery store on the way back and picked up-"

"The cigarettes. You know what I'm going to ask you to do with them." You shook your head. She laid her hand out. You pulled them out of your clothes pocket and handed them over. "I don't want you to get addicted to these. They ruin lives and I love you too much to watch you waste it away on this." You nodded in recognition. "Did anything happen while you were out?"

You shook your head, "Nothing happened-"

"You transmutated far, are you sure you didn't get hurt?" You nodded. "Can I have a look over?"

"You just want an excuse to see me naked, don't you?"

"Always, but it is strange that you are developing new powers now or at least of that strength."

"Developing them now? Are you calling me old?" you joked.

"You're older than me." Yeah, you were. "What are you, like 905?"

"Hey! I'm not immortal."

"You could have convinced me otherwise."

"We both know that wouldn't be a good thing. We both know the story of Scáthach. "

"Are you talking about My Roanoke Nightmare? I thought you hated that show."

As much as Cordelia hated horror, you were a fanatic- not because you enjoyed the film, you loved critiquing it, ripping their use of the supernatural. You often referenced horror movies and how they were wrong in class or when casually talking to Cordelia. Then the show My Roanoke nightmare was popular, you'd binged watch it and won't shut up about the show for weeks. Cordelia knew everything about the show without seeing it. She eventually did, so she could better understand what was irritating you so much.

"I do, but Audrey Tindall is hot."

"I hope neither of us ever met her." The both of you chuckled.

"No, but seriously. She's real or at least what they say about her is. She gained immortality from ancient gods. We both know you don't make deals with ancient gods, we teach that as part of the curriculum. You don't accept gifts from deities and all that jazz. It's witchcraft 101. All I know is if I had a choice between being normal and being immortal, i'd choose normally any day. Hell I'd probably give it up. Imagine living a life where you couldn't get attached to people because you know that one day they are going to die and you'll be alone. You can met new people but you know that they are going to die too. It's a long circle of death until the world explodes or hell raises over maybe even after that. It would get lonely. Plus, I'd lose you and I couldn't handle that."

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." At least not for now, not today, Cordelia thought.

[drowning-in-daiya]

K so I’m absolutely Weak for William and there’s an insane lack of written content for him and the Black Clover fandom as a whole. So I’ve decided to grace the internet with my absolute shit writing for the first time in 5 years for some crap attempts at fluff. These were originally written with an OC (who has 20 whole pages of profile wow I need to stop) but I’ve made it into a reader insert the best I could. I kept the third person pronouns though just because I’m lazy and tired sorry I personally don’t enjoy reading that myself but again laziness wins. There are most definitely typos and I apologize in advance but I hope fellow fans enjoy these entirely self-indulgent piece! If anyone can even find this rip also tumblr formatting is a pain and i was in physical pain editing this

Note: (s/e/c) stands for secondary eye color. Sorry again if it doesn’t fit how you’re reading it :(

Another note: because this was based on an oc, there are some details (not many, like two I think) that are specific to her and don’t take into account different skin tones or eye color. Again I apologize for leaving them in, but I loved the flow the sentences and couldn’t really find a way that sounded just as good to me. If I ever write more, I’ll try to be more considerate with details like this.

(William x reader)

Fluff

Word count: 1,555

Warnings: None

Shoulder Pillow

A time before either realizes their feelings; or when (y/n) falls asleep on William’s shoulder (Takes place a few months into the two turning seventeen)

“William.”

“Yes, (y/n)?” He smiles slightly but doesn’t lift his eyes from the book in his hands. He knows that tone; slightly pitchy with the end syllable drawn out. His suspicion is confirmed when she throws her head back and sighs.

“I’m bored.” Keeping her head back she slants her eyes towards his figure, taking in his relaxed form, the way one hand is lightly gripping one edge of the book while the other cradles the spine. She notices the small smile on his face when her eyes flicker up and lightly huffs. His smile grows slightly when he finally looks up to see the pout curving her lips downward.

“Do you want to do something else?” he asks. Her eyes find his again; (e/c) with bits of (s/e/c) speckled at the bottom meeting bright purple. He notes how much darker they are now in the back of his mind, deciding he would ask later if everything is alright.

She’s torn and doesn’t answer for a minute. While reading is fun and William’s presence provides a warm comfort she hasn’t felt in some time, it’s getting hard to focus and she’s getting antsy. It doesn’t help that she’s running on about two hours of sleep won after a hard battle against her insomnia and nightmares. He follows his first question with another before she can land on an answer.

“Would you like me to read to you? I can start over if you want.”

Badump.

Ignoring the swell in her chest (because honestly she can’t spare enough energy to think about what that could mean) she nods and scoots closer on the couch to look on with him as he flips to the first page. His voice is even and more soothing than usual, and within minutes she feels her eyelids drooping.

When was the last time someone read to me like this? Maybe three- no… four years ago? Ahh his voice is so nice.

Her head dips forward slightly and she jerks back, widening her eyes and staring intently at the words. William spares a quick glance but keeps reading, another smile beginning to spread across his face when he feels her breaths start to even out again. He doesn’t expect to feel the weight of her head or smell the citrus scent of her shampoo a few minutes later and cuts off midsentence. A warm blush is already darkening his cheeks under the mask, so when he looks down and sees her relaxed face smooshed against his shoulder, mouth slightly open with light snores escaping, his heart skips several beats. He stares a few seconds more, memorizing the way her lashes cast shadows across her cheeks and the steady rise and fall of her chest, before going back to reading out loud.

He’s just reached page 20 when she wakes up, just slightly refreshed but with an odd ache in her neck. It takes a few seconds for her groggy mind to take in exactly what her face is pressing against, and a few more seconds to properly react. Apologies begin to pour out in a jumbled mess; her eyes are bouncing anywhere but his face (completely missing his grin), freezing only once she catches sight of the dark spot on his shoulder. Impossibly more heat rushes through her body as she begins apologizing for not only using his shoulder as a pillow but drooling on him on top of that.  

He lets her carry on till she can find nothing else to beg forgiveness for; in the lull during which she tries to catch her breath, he places his hand on her head, ruffling her hair a bit before saying: “It’s fine. You were tired right?”

It takes a few seconds for the question to register, but she nods her head once it does and raises her eyes to his. She takes in the smile, heart skipping another beat (seriously what is wrong with me today??), relief washing through her that he’s not looking at her in disgust. They both sit like that seemingly frozen in that position for another five seconds before he takes his hand away. She can’t see it, but another blush is spreading across his cheeks at the realization that he held his hand there for too long trying to imitate her comforting habit. They continue to stare at each other awkwardly, neither knowing what to say now, until the clock in the common area rings out. 

She stands abruptly, quickly spouting off an excuse that she’ll be late for a meeting with so-and-so and that she’d better head off now.

“I can read to you again whenever you’re tired, (y/n). I didn’t mind being your pillow for the afternoon,” he calls out when the door’s halfway closed behind her. It slams shut before she can respond, not that she could have with the way her mind and heart were racing at the unusual and rather brazen comment from her fellow knight.

Ahh seriously what is this?!?

When He Knew

Seeing William without his mask for the first time; or when William realizes he likes you (Two weeks after the shoulder pillow incident) 

“He’s late.” 

“Yeah, no shit genius. He’s probably on his way right now.” The other knight throws a glare before going back to staring out the window. The foot tapping grew old five seconds after he started, but now the attitude directed towards William is giving you a new reason to dread the two-day mission. It’d be a lie if you said you weren’t worried, though. In the three years you’d known him, William was never late, instead almost always showing up a few minutes early. This realization causes you to think of the worst possibilities, ignoring the more probable answer that he had overslept or gotten wrapped up in something else. 

Dead. He’s definitely gotta be dead. Or maybe he caught something and is laying helpless in bed? Or did intruders somehow manage to sneak in and now he’s all tied up and- Taking a deep breath to calm down, you decide to give him another five minutes before heading over to check on him. A minute passes in silence and you’re pushing off the wall, mumbling incoherently something about going to fetch him. A tiny part of your brain is still somewhat rational and begs the other parts to slow down and think for a second. 

But I am thinking and I think he’s got to be dead or near death since he’s more than twenty minutes late! You reach his room in record speed and hesitate for a second. Should I at least knock? If he’s dead he won’t hear it; but even if he’s alive he may be unable to answer back. A thud sounds from the other side of the door and your brain switches to automatic. 

Eyes are already scanning for threats or a slumped body when the door slams open; instead of either, though, they catch sight of a frozen, maskless William staring back at you, half in horror, half in fright. It feels like hours tick by as you two stare at each other; You glance over every part of his face, vaguely taking in the scar that spans the top half, but more enthralled by all of the emotion you can see now. His eyes are even more enchanting fully visible (are they even brighter than before?? No no no... probably not…but maybe?); his nose that was already the cutest form of elegance you’ve ever seen fits perfectly with the rest of his face. And the hair it’s- 

It’s only five seconds of intense staring as you try to memorize the pure beauty that is bare faced William before snapping out of it and offering your excuse. “I thought you were dead and came to check on you.” Straight faced, eyes locked on his, said with total seriousness. 

He can’t tell if he wants to laugh or cry, and if he does cry if it’ll be from embarrassment or joy. There’s no change in how you’re looking at him, the tone of voice you’re speaking to him in. Brutally honest (y/n) who never fails to let others know how you feel no matter how it might hurt the other person. The girl who told him his mask was tacky and he could do better upon their second meeting. The one who almost got into a fistfight with another knight that made an offhanded remark about the same mask. (y/n)! His heart is still racing for a completely different reason now. All the pieces are linking together and he knows. The stuttering heart, breathless laughs, warm and tingly feeling throughout his body; it all makes sense because some part of him knew all along. You’re rambling speaking again, red painting your cheeks (adorable he thinks), but he doesn’t hear any of it. He’s still staring when you finally stop; one heartbeat…two heartbeats…you turn on your heel on the third and shout out another apology (this one he hears) for the intrusion, and tell him to hurry up or you’d leave him behind. His body relaxes once the door closes and he stares at the mask in his hands. He briefly wonders what kind of expression you saw on his face, why you looked so flustered (it definitely wasn’t because she’s attracted to me that’s for sure), and most importantly, how he’ll act around you now that he knows he’s in love.

[meanwhileinsidemyhead]

You've read The Foxhole Court?!! The ANGST. The glorious ANGST in those books. I got way too excited when I saw you reblog something related to All For the Game. I adore that series. :))

OMG YES! I finished “The Foxhole Court” a couple of days ago, and now I’m almost done with “The Raven King.” Last night I was reading it on the train back home, and I almost missed my stop because I didn’t want to stop reading, LOL. This series is SO GOOD. Where-Have-You-Been-My-Entire-Life good. I think I will re-read it right away, as soon as I’m finished with the third book.

I am beyond happy that you’ve read it and loved it. I’ve been going crazy because I have so many feelings about it and nobody to talk to about them. I was planning on looking for active Tumblr fan accounts as soon as I was finished reading the third book, but this is SO much better because it’s YOU

I apologize for the incoherent ramble that will most certainly follow.

My favorite part is how they are (slowly! painfully slowly!) becoming a family. I was close to tears when they played their first game as a team rather than individuals. They still have a long way to go, but they are already so much closer than when Neil first got there.

I love them all so much. They are so complex, layered and real. Sometimes their actions/reactions seem extreme, but then I find out something about their past and suddenly it makes perfect sense. Like, when Andrew almost kills Nicky for flirting with Neil after Neil made it clear he wasn’t interested? It looked like an over-reaction. But then last night I found out that Andrew was abused and so of course he was going to react that way.

Neil breaks my heart with all his trust issues and his fear of getting close to people because he believes he’s going to lose them one way or another. He’s so guarded, but at the same time he longs for a family/home. His deep understanding of his teammates and their issues is heartbreaking to see. I also love how he hero-worships Kevin and, at the same time, finds him annoying, lol. (Which is why I thought they might get together.)

It took me a while to understand why Kevin is so cold and only seems to care about Exy but it makes so much sense now that I know his backstory. His perseverance and resilience are inspiring. He wouldn’t have survived all those years otherwise. I’m glad he got out, even though he had to pay too high a price.

Andrew. Oh, my. Every time I think Andrew’s past can’t get any worse, it does. WHY??! I want so badly for him and Aaron to be brothers, and for both of them to find peace/balance.

Nicky is simply too good for this world. After all he went through with his parents, when he finally found love and happiness, he left it all behind and came back to adopt his cousins so they wouldn’t have to stay with his awful parents??? And he’s so positive and upbeat all the time. Like, how?

Matt. MATT. I CAN’T WITH HIM. How dare he be so sweet and caring? Doesn’t he know I have a thing for tough guys who are actually sweethearts? I just want to hug him for a week, then wrap him in bubble wrap and protect him from every single bad thing in the world. Like, I didn’t care too much about Seth’s death. He didn’t deserve to die, but he was a homophobic jerk, so I wasn’t going to cry about him. But then I saw how much it affected Matt and just— AHHH! I physically need Matt to be safe and healthy and happy. If Riko or anyone else hurt him, I will find a way to bring hell down on them. I hope he’ll never have to see his father again. Who intentionally gets their kid addicted to drugs?!

The girls!!! Dan is such a badass and I love that she doesn’t hide from her past and doesn’t let anyone fight her own battles. She is a wonderful captain, too. No one else could take her place.

Renee… oh my, Renee might just be my favorite female character. I love love love her friendship with Andrew. She is all kinds of wonderful. I feel like from the beginning she’s the glue who holds the team together.

I hope to see more of Allison, too. I still don’t quite get how she fits in with them but I cannot wait to find out. The way she stepped up for her team so shortly after Seth’s death showed she’s much stronger than I initially gave her credit for.

Coach Wymack is a wonderful human being, and so are the nurse and the psychiatrist. They never give up on those kids and they always manage to find the right mix of tough love and understanding. They are so sensitive to everyone’s unique struggles and issues, and at the same time encourage them to become the best versions of themselves.

I love how the author shows that, given a chance and the right environment/support, these kids can overcome their pasts and be a million times better than anyone gives them credit for (and a billion times better than the people who hurt them!)

And then the ships! I knew from the beginning that there was a ship that would take a long time to develop/get together. At first, I thought it would be either Neil and Kevin, or Andrew and Kevin, but now I think it’s probably Andrew and Neil? I’m not 100% sure but it would make so much sense. I feel like Neil is the only one who can give Andrew a reason to live/be okay/stop his self-destructive behaviors, and Andrew is the only one who can stop Neil from running again. I still love the (complicated) relationships/friendships Kevin has with Neil and Andrew, though. (And I was shocked to learn that he has a girlfriend. I didn’t think he loved anything else besides Exy!)

Matt and Dan are wonderful together, of course, and I hope we’ll get to meet Nicky’s boyfriend Erik at some point.

Of course, I want them to win the championship and humiliate the Ravens. I hope Riko and coach Moriyama will pay for what they’ve done. Every other person who hurt my babies, too. Especially Matt’s and Nicky’s fathers. Such horrible human beings.

I’m gonna stop here because I’m afraid I’ve already gone overboard, LOL. And I realize now that since you read the books a while ago, you probably don’t remember every name and detail. Sorry!!