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Top 3 scariest us states

1: Texas (too big)

2: Rhode Island (too small)

3: Florida (too alligators)

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Not “Only my reading of canon is correct” or “Interpretations are subjective and all valid” but a secret third thing, “More than one interpretation can be valid but there’s a reason your English teacher had you cite quotes and examples in your papers, you have to have a strong argument that your interpretation is actually supported by the text or it is just wrong and I’m fine with telling you it’s wrong, actually.”

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LOL whos tye saultry little binch on the bottom lsft????

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the humble weedwhacker

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the cupcake is such a beautiful idea. oh a little cake you can hold in your hand? and decorated so cutely no less? how delightful!

but the reality of eating a cupcake is the most undignified process there's really no winning. you can lick the icing off or you can try to get a bite off the whole side of it which compromises the integrity of the whole structure crumbling the icing is all over your mouth and nose and forehead at the end of it desperately surping and sucking at the clumps stuck to the wrapper which doesn't even succeed in keeping it from getting all over your hands just total wild animal experience

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hello tumblr, i give you wii / wii play graphics

all f2u ♡

i love you wii fishing

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it's actually sick you get tired of eating the same food over and over when some animals they just eat grass all day mind you. just another pointless challenge mechanic added in by big universe to get you to go to the grocery store

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not having the courtesy to send rejection letters should count against your reputation as a company and i’m so serious about that

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i'm morally against time travel, but i really need scientists to figure out how to time freeze. not generally, just like, in a box. so i can store my vegetables without fear of losing them. please, scientists, i have executive dysfunction and my fridge is not enough to cover the time where i manage to get groceries and the time i manage to cook. i need you to break the laws of time and space because i can't lose another brocoli.

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[fully aware that making anything at all is an act of tremendous effort and difficulty, to say nothing of the additional challenge of the quality of the thing, all of which are made much worse and thornier by corporate productions] right but why didnt they just make it good instead of bad

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The funniest hyperfixations have gotta be the ones where you watch something and go "this thing is cute. I like it. not sure if Id call it a favorite of mine but its definitely enjoyable at least" and then cut to a month later and its completely overtaken your life

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a beautiful baby plane.... please be gentle he's only 16 minutes old

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See the thing is that if you keep saying "I bet everyone hates me I'm so annoying" is that its annoying. And people hate it. So it's a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy isn't it. You know what's also a self fulfilling prophecy? Acting like you're hot shit until you become hot shit

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sorry for bitching and whining. unfortunately i have to or else ill start killing and eating people instead

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easily one of my favourite tweets of all time

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i think some of you dont like narratives or stories or characters i think you just like fanfiction tropes