#does Tommy call him Evan once? maybe. just maybe.

[v88sy]

I think I'm starting to understand the appeal of OCs. I can't stop thinking about Matt the bartender.

[buddiekinard]

a thing because i keep thinking about lou's naked body and i can't stop thinking about mpreg .....don't look at me..... This is just in my head and sometimes it's gotta get out. I am not starting another wip on tumblr. I am not.

Tommy turns off his truck outside of Eddie's house. He'd gone by the station first, but Evan is apparently off today. He wasn't at the loft either. Tommy could just call him, but this isn't a phone call conversation. This is a face to face in person conversation.

He sees Evan's jeep in the drive way, so at least he won't have to ask Eddie where Evan is. He hasn't talked to Eddie in over a month either.

He wonders if Eddie's decorated for Christmas. He doesn't know what's going on with Eddie and Christopher. He supposes that's what happens when you break up with your friend's best friend. They kind of aren't your friend anymore. (Not that Tommy had tried to contact him, either, even though he had texted him, once, the morning after he'd broken up with Evan.)

He grips the steering wheel and lets out a slow breath before getting out of his truck. He passes Evan's jeep on his walk up the drive and almost turns and runs back to his truck. Evan would never know he was here. He could keep his secret, figure out what to do on his own. Evan would never have to know.

Evan probably doesn't want anything to do with Tommy, and Tommy can't blame him. He'd run instead of talking, but then. Evan had jumped head first in to move in with me without talking, too. So he's trying not to blame himself too much.

He's just about to ring the buzzer when the door swings open and Evan is standing in front of him, box in his hand.

"Tommy? Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Would you believe me if I said looking for you?"

"How did you know I was here?"

"Well, you weren't at the station or at home, so I thought I'd try Eddie's." Tommy tries to remind himself why he's here, so he doesn't cut and run again. He knows this man has the power to break his heart, and it's a hart power for him to give up.

"You could have called me instead of driving all over the city?"

He pushes past Tommy with the box in hand and drops it in the back of Eddie's truck.

"This isn't a phone conversation."

"I spent two weeks doing nothing but try to talk to you." Evan turns to go back inside and then Eddie walks past with a duffle and tosses it in the passenger seat.

"Tommy? Hey, what are you doing here?" Eddie looks between them, raises an eyebrow at Evan in question, and then turns to give Tommy a skeptical look.

"It's fine, Eddie. I'm fine." Evan looks back at Tommy. "If you want to talk to me you can follow me inside. I have another suitcase to bring out.

"Is Eddie leaving?"

"No, but he's going to El Paso for a while." Evan picks up a suitcase. "You have really great timing."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for your timing? Sorry for breaking my heart to save your own? Which one is it?"

"Evan, can you stop for two seconds?"

Evan stops walk and drops his shoulders to look at Tommy. His face crumbles a bit, and Tommy can see he's not angry. There's something behind his eyes that says he's trying not to break. Tommy understands. He's felt that way for a month.

"I've stopped what do you need?"

"Maybe not here."

"Look, this is where we are, and Eddie is leaving today, so I'm not going anywhere, so you can talk to me here or we can meet later."

"Evan - "

"I miss you." Evan says. "I'm glad you're calling me Evan. It felt like a knife to the gut when you called me Buck." He sits down on Eddie's couch, slumping into it a little. "Sit."

Tommy does as Evan says.

"What's going on, Tommy? I'll listen." "Evan, I have to tell you something."

"I get that. What is it, Tommy?"

"I - " Tommy feels like he should run. Maybe running was always the right choice.

"Tommy." Evan rests his hand on Tommy's thigh. It's just a soft gesture. Tommy missed touching Evan. He's not mad at it. "What is it? You're not dying, are you?"

"I'm pregnant, Evan."

"Uh - " Their heads snap behind them to find Eddie standing there. "Right, I'm going to just, uh. I'm gonna go to the kitchen. Right. Coffee for the road."

Eddie disappears into the next room.

Tommy looks over at Evan, and he's just staring, not saying anything.

[wannabanauthor]

Some BuckTommy thoughts while my county is on fire

Irony that I watch a firefighter show that takes place in my actual county. I am fine and safe, but one of my friends lost power and another friend lost her home and her entire neighborhood.

Anyway, bad segue:

I just saw a gifset of Tommy, and it reminds me of something I've noticed about him since season 7.

He is very reserved, but also warm and open once he gets comfortable with someone.

My first time watching 7x05, I was actually surprised when he said "you already know I'm interested" and my first thoughts were, "we do?"

Yes, he was all cute during the date, but I was also surprised when he said, "Evan, I think you're adorable." And he was so genuine, but then his mask slipped back on and he said he didn't think Buck was ready and that he'd see him around.

Being an older gay man who was in the army, I can see why he is reserved at first glance. Remember I've mentioned that he has butch lesbian energy, and he does. All tough on the outside, but once you get to know them, they're teddy bears who can be so affectionate and sweet.

I think he knew from the start that Buck was going to ruin him. He was charmed by the golden retriever hunky firefighter who was so determined to get to know him.

Buck was the one for him, and he couldn't help but lean heavily into that. Tommy romanced the hell out of Buck, he was an eager and dedicated boyfriend, and you could tell that he genuinely loved being in a relationship with Buck.

I think he got a little "too" comfortable and fell hard and fast for Buck. Once Buck asked him to move in, his walls went back up, and he was back to being kind of stoic and reserved. Maybe it's a panic response to past trauma, I don't know, but that's what it looked like.

Maybe he realized that someone had finally gently taken down his walls and repurposed the bricks for something else or the bricks were just set aside. He made a point to mention that Buck was impulsive which probably fueled his fear of Buck breaking his heart. Maybe Tommy hated himself for falling for Buck and opening himself to future hurt/harm or heartbreak.

Tommy was scared of finally having what he truly wanted because that meant he'd have to be more vulnerable and open. So it was better to retreat to what he had done in the past and just walk away before someone gets hurt, but he ended up hurting them both in the process. Being cool, calm, and collected was much easier than putting his heart on the line.

Just look at his expression after their first kiss. He didn't even smile until Buck said "yeah, that works". He was ready for rejection. Then he softened and asked Buck if kissing him was okay. Then Buck made him laugh, and then Tommy was back to being cool and suave, asked him out, and then reminded Buck to call Eddie.

Maybe throughout their relationship he kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe he doesn't believe that he can truly ever be happy.

[lover-of-mine]

You and all have blown my mind with that bt/Tommy meta bc it's just so right.

Of course tommy deflects any attempt at a deeper conversation because he avoids the risk of forming a deeper connection to buck at all cost. It's easier to tell evan his dad is still alive and make some daddy joke rather than have evan explain how much of an actual father Bobby is to him, showing Tommy once again where his shortcomings are when it comes to his past behaviour with the 118 and how he left right before they became the family he sees now, all those years later. (and that he's dating buck, not Evan). (Does he ever lay in bed at night deluding himself into taking credit for the 118 family because buck took his spot a that was the catalyst so it's only fair he gets to be welcomed in again?)

It's easier to go into the madney wedding completely blind rather than ask for family dynamics and things to look out for, because it's way too early to get attached to and form opinions on Evans parents when they live across the country and he doesn't really think he'll stay around for long (Eddie brought his grandma and son to the wedding instead of his girlfriend, surely buck can't be this blind)

Of course he calls Eddie to take care of bucks boils rather than tending to them himself, because if he shows Evan that he's dependable the breakup will be that much harder.

Does that make him a little bit of an asshole? Maybe, but then again, it's casual, and he's just protecting himself from getting hurt again, and then there's the Eddie of it all.

Like, whoever said it's better to have loved and lost than have never loved at all was clearly stupid to Tommy, bc nothing hurts more than letting yourself have everything you've ever wanted (118 fam, nice boyfriend who almost cares too much), just to have all of that ripped away again because Tommy didn't protect his peace.

I gotta say @buckgettingstruck and I have been enjoying the way y'all seem to agree because we were tense writing it because trying to suggest some of those things last year would be a one way trip to a lot of hate lol

But yeah, Tommy wanted an easy way into the thing he wants, connection, and Buck is too much of a people pleaser to correct him, so he ends up with the belief they are on the same page and he will get the friends out of the relationship even though he acting as if he knows deep down that they have an expiration date. And since he is probably making the assumption Buck will break up with him, then he gets to have fun with a hot guy and get everything else in the end.

But by keeping Buck at arm's length, dating Evan not Buck, he didn't know that Buck is crazy. Buck is intense and everything is real to him until it isn't, and the relationship was real for Buck. So he had to sabotage himself because the urge to protect himself is stronger and he failed to actually create a connection with Buck that would get him what he wants.

[cjlouwho]

“Hey, Cutie. What's your name?”

Buck stopped digging to look up at the man, using the back of his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead. “Buck,” he replied simply, sucking in a deep breath.

“Buck?” he questioned. “Just Buck?”

Buck sighed. “Evan Buckley. Most people call me Buck.”

The man smiled. “Evan's nice. I like Evan. I'm gonna call you Evan.”

“My boyfriend's really the only one who does that.”

The man stepped closer, invading Buck's personal space. “You're already taken?”

“I- I am,” Buck replied, tripping over his words. Now that he was closer, this man did have some beautiful blue eyes. They nearly stared right into his soul.

“Hm.” The man shook his head. “That's a shame,” he looked Buck up and down. “You're really... really hot.”

“Pr- Probably from the wildfire th- that's nearby.”

The man laughed. Damn, even his laugh did something to Buck. “Maybe,” he shrugged. “But I think you'd look good no matter what.”

“I really, um, I need to get back to digging, so the fire doesn't spread.”

“Looks like you could use a break to me.” The man pulled a bottle of water from his pocket, and the sight of it nearly made Buck's dry mouth start to water. “Ice cold, just for you.”

And well, it would almost be rude not to take the water. So he did.

He twisted the cap off and drank nearly half the bottle down. He couldn't help but notice the man watched every gulp, staring at his throat like he wanted to lick the sweat right off.

“Thank you,” Buck said once he finished. He went to hand the bottle back, but the man shook his head.

“That's yours,” he said. “Can't have a man as handsome as you passing out from dehydration. Someone may have to give you mouth to mouth.”

Buck swallowed hard. “Th- Then why'd you give me the water?”

Buck watched the man's blue eyes darken, his breathing picking up. He reached out, tugging on the collar of Buck's wildland gear to fix it. “You've gotta be careful, Evan. I don't usually go for taken men, but I might have to change my mind.” His hand slowly ran down Buck's chest as he pulled away from him.

Buck's breath hitched. He couldn't look away from this man. Couldn't help all the feelings bubbling up deep in his gut. “I... I don't even know your name.”

“Might be better that way,” the man replied, taking another step closer. His eyes moved down to Buck's lips. “I'll be able to remember you forever, and you can go back to your boyfriend and forget I ever existed.”

“I- I don't know if I could do that.”

“What? Go back to your boyfriend? Or forget me? Cause-”

“Dear God,” Eddie interrupted, exasperated. “You know other people can hear you, right? Get a room, or better yet, get a truck. I'll cover for you if it'll get you two to stop... whatever the hell this is.”

Buck sighed, resting a hand on his hip as he turned to Eddie. “We were just getting to the good part.”

“You've done this before?!” he exclaimed.

“Two days ago,” Hen informed him as she passed by. She gave a wave to the man. “Hey, Tommy.”

“Hi, Hen. Eddie,” he greeted with a nod and a smile.

Eddie groaned. “You two are pathetic.”

“Oh, are they doing that weird roleplay thing again?” Chimney asked as he walked up beside Eddie.

“You've heard it too?”

“I think half the firefighters in the county have heard it by now.”

“Three weeks!” Buck reminded them, holding up three fingers for emphasis. “We've been here for three weeks without more than a few seconds alone. Let me have this.”

Eddie raised his hands in surrender. “I'm gonna go get me a water since, apparently, it doesn't matter if I pass out from dehydration.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “I'll bring you a water next time.”

“What about me?” Chimney asked. “Because, if I remember right, you'll have to give me mouth to mouth if I fall to the ground.”

“I will bring everyone water next time.” Tommy spoke loudly, so everyone around could hear.

“That's better,” Chimney said. He patted Eddie on the shoulder. “Come on, let's give the lovebirds a minute.”

Tommy turned back to Buck. “As much as I'd love to finish the scene,” he said once the others had walked away, “I do have to go. I told my group I'd only be five minutes.”

Buck couldn't help his pout, but he also knew he had to get back to work too. “When we get home, if we ever get to go home, we're not putting on clothes for three days.”

Tommy smiled, nose scrunching up. “Deal,” he agreed. He leaned in and gave Buck a quick peck on the lips. “I gotta go. Love you, Cutie,” he said with a wink.

Before he could walk off, Buck grabbed his turnouts and pulled Tommy back for one more kiss before letting him go. “Love you too. Be safe.”

[teenmaximoff]

They get into the car and Buck immediately takes off his tie and tosses it to the back seat. He’s never been much of a suit guy. But it was a funeral, he had to dress up. And make Tommy dress up too. Same as him, Tommy is also not a suit guy. It’s hard to get those beefy arms into a tailored jacket.

Tommy starts the engine and turns to Buck with the most affectionate glint in his eyes. He stares at him for a few moments, just taking in his view. “What?” Buck asks, smirking. “Something on my face?”

Tommy rolls his eyes and starts driving. “You’re cute is all.”

“I am?” His cheeks flush and he ducks his head the way he always does when Tommy compliments him. “Even covered in boils?”

“Of course.” It’s their thing – ‘Of course.’ Before every shift, one texts ‘Be safe’ and the other responds ‘Of course.’ Buck wants to get it tattooed on himself. It’s way too early for permanent commitments, but he can’t shake the idea. “You’re always cute, Baby.”

“This mean you’re going to kiss me now?” He says pursing his lips, even though Tommy’s eyes are on the road.

“Don’t continue this slander, Evan.” He replies, deadpan as ever. The dry charm is so hot, damn. “I did a hell of a lot more than kiss you this morning.” True. Actually, now that Buck is thinking about it – a rim job is just one long, pleasurable kiss.

“On the face, Kinard.” Buck can deal with the itchiness and sore arm. What he can’t handle is going over twenty-four hours without feeling Tommy’s lips on his own. “Don’t you miss kissing my birthmark every other minute?”

Tommy looks over just in time to see Buck pout and shine his best ‘puppy dog’ eyes at him. He laughs and looks back at the road. “Brat.” He knows exactly how to push his boyfriend’s buttons. “I’ll make up all the missed kisses… once you’re better.”

“And not gross?” Yeah okay, so maybe he is a bit of a brat.

“Did I not call you cute five minutes ago?”

Buck crosses his arms over his chest and huffs. “Not cute enough to kiss apparently.”

***

They eventually get stuck in Traffic. Buck switches from his dress shoes to sneakers, not being able to handle another moment of uncomfortable torture. “Better?” How Tommy is driving with his on, Buck has no idea.

“Much.” There’s a bit of comfortable silence between them, just NPR playing too soft to make out in the background. “I-I want to thank you, babe.” Buck admits shyly, patting Tommy’s (thick) thigh. “For doing this. I know you think I’m dumb for believing in all this curse crap.” He bites the inside of his cheek, feeling a bit small. “I appreciate you going along with it anyway… driving me out to fucking Temecula of all places and indulging my – uh – my weirdness.”

Tommy’s lips flatten and he tsks, shaking his head. “First of all, baby. I don’t think you’re dumb. And you shouldn’t think that either.” He quickly looks over to Buck, making sure he’s taking his words in. And with the way he looks at him, how could Buck not? “This curse means something to you, so of course I was going to help.” Buck feels his chest tighten. This man. “Even spoke to Billy for you.”

“Yeah?” His eyes light up. “What did you say?”

“That’s between me and the dead man.” He places his hand on top of Buck’s on his leg. “He knows not to mess with my boy.”

His cheeks flush and he squirms a little in his seat as a burst of heat travels through him. “Yeah, Daddy – you gonna fight a ghost for me?”

“I’ll fight a thousand ghosts for you, Evan.” Something about the way he says it, in his usual stoic tone, but laced with so much admiration – makes Buck honestly believe him. Not that he’ll literally fight a ghost - although with this Billy situation, who’s to say that couldn’t happen? – but that Tommy will fight for him, for them. He will go to bat for him; time and time again showing up whether Buck needs him or not. He’s all in.

Is this what it feels like to find the one? Buck’s not sure. It didn’t feel like this with Abby or Taylor. He loved them – in different ways. But nothing close to this. Buck can’t imagine a life where Tommy isn’t beside him, indulging him in his antics and looking at him like he’s the sun, moon, and all the stars in between. It’s too early to say it, he knows it is. But, fuck, he really is in love. “Tommy –“ He says, his boyfriend quickly glancing from the road to him. “You matter so much to me.”

“You matter to me too, baby.” Tommy smiles, his eyes crinkling beautifully and so kissable. Maybe they can just pull over for a quickie? “Evan, know this. I will happily put on a suit and drive to Temecula whenever you ask. As long you keep being you.”

Sounds a hell of a lot like Tommy wants to say ‘I love you’ too. Just not now. Not while he’s covered in boils and driving. Because the second he says it, he has to know Buck will say it back and then drown him in kisses. The moment will come soon enough.

***

Buck eventually falls asleep against the window. With all the traffic, it takes them an hour longer than it should have to get back to LA. Tommy shakes him a little to wake him up, leaving a line of drool on the glass. He blinks a few times at the setting sun shining in his eyes, not recognizing the building they’re outside of. Tommy comes around the truck to open Buck’s door for him. Such a gentleman. “Where are we?”

He sighs affectionately. “A dermatologist, Evan.”

[miriellesandthegiantpeach]

Curls | Bucktommy

In the bathroom, Buck is grimacing in the mirror, swiping his hands back and forth over his freshly cut hair. His eyebrows are furrowed with indecision; was this a good idea? He hears the front door open.

“Evan? Where are you?” Tommy voices rings out.

“Up here,” Buck calls back, he closes the bathroom door most of the way before Tommy gets up there.

“Oh there you are, what are you doing?” Tommy tries to push open the door but Buck stops him.

“I got a haircut from the place Hen suggested. You’re not allowed to laugh, okay?” Buck’s voice is hesitant.

“I promise I won’t laugh, did they botch it?” Tommy replies with total sincerity. This time Tommy can open the door and step into the bathroom. He examines Buck’s hair, very relieved it actually isn’t botched or a buzzcut.

Tommy takes it in and can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips. His boyfriend looks damn fine; curls in full force and not reigned in like how Buck usually styles it. The hairdresser added a fade making his neck look a lot longer.

“What? It’s awful. Your silence is making me nervous,” Buck rambles out.

Reaching a hand up, Tommy carefully pinches a wild curl and is surprised how soft it is, not at all crunchy with gel. His hand slides down to touch the equally soft hair on the back of his head. He absolutely loves it. “It’s definitely not awful. I always love your curls, babe. I like seeing your natural hair be free for once, and it’s so soft too. You look really really hot actually. It’s trendy for sure, but not in a bad way.”

Buck is still frowning at the mirror and rubs his fingers on the side of his face. “She even shaved off my sideburns,” he pouts and Tommy laughs.

“They will grow back in no time.” He wraps his arms around Buck’s waist and rests his chin on Buck's shoulder, watching him still fuss with his hair. “You know, it does make you look undeniably not straight, if that’s what you were going for.”

”Not really my intention, but I mean I’m not, so I guess it works?” Buck huffs drops his hands. “I’m itching for my gel, I feel so naked without it.”

“Don’t you dare. It’s just new, it’ll grow on you.” Tommy smiles, catching Buck's eyes in the mirror.

“Hey, what about your natural curls, huh? I don't see you easing up on the hair products.” Buck turns his head to look at Tommy.

“Shhh we're not talking about me right now,” Tommy replies and slides a hand up to cup Buck's jaw and kiss his lips. “I'm sure there's something in the pilot handbook about hair regulations,” he mumbles against Buck's mouth then promptly leaves him in the bathroom.

When Buck walks into work the next day he’s greeted with a wolf whistle from Hen, “Damn, Buck! I knew my girl would make you look fresh! You’re looking damn fine.” And he can’t help but smile at the praise. He gets compliments and light teasing from the rest of the crew. Maybe he can live with it.

One of their calls is at the famous gay night club, The Abbey, in Santa Monica. One of the cages that the dancers was in fell with the dancer trapped inside of it. Buck and Eddie had to break out the saw to get the dancer out, luckily he walked away with minor injuries.

They attracted a small crowd of the other dancers- all in skimpy speedo like underwear. Most of them had their eyes on Buck, giving him flirty compliments and asking if he’s ever been there. At first Buck was confused why he was getting most of the attention from these objectively hot men, especially when Eddie and his stache was right there.

Oh right, the hair, he thinks. The ‘undeniably not straight’ hair style he is sporting right now. He couldn’t help feeling a small blush creep into his cheeks.

His attention gets pulled back to one of the dancers, “Are you single? I know it’s really forward of me, but I thought I’d shoot my shot.” At least he’s polite about blatantly hitting on him.

“Oh wow I’m really flattered but yeah, I am taken,” Buck says proudly. He takes out his phone and shows the dancer and his friends his phone lock screen - a selfie of him and Tommy from one of their recent dates. Buck is laughing and Tommy is smirking at the camera with an amused glint in his eyes.

“Oh my God! I know that guy! That’s Mr. August from the 2019 LAFD calendar! I’ll never forget that year,” one of the dancers muses.

“Lucky bastard,” another one says to Buck, which makes his smile grow wider.

Tommy’s phone pings with a picture from Chimney, which there is no doubt this was his idea. It’s of Buck in the middle of a row of speedo clad club dancers. He doesn’t have his jacket on, so it’s just the fire T-shirt with red and yellow suspenders and the turn out pants. He’s holding an ax resting on his shoulder with the cockiest look he could muster; a sexy smirk on his lips with his left eyebrow cocked. The dancers around him are all looking at him, hamming it up for the picture acting like he’s the hottest thing on earth. Tommy couldn’t agree more and immediately makes it his phone background.

Yeah, the hair is growing on Buck.

[foxesandfriendship]

One of the best things about buck and Tommy’s relationship, is that everyone else in bucks life tends to treat him like a dog that just won’t behave. Like whenever he does something stupid they’re always like calling him out on it and getting on him for behaving badly, (which like I get to a degree but they’re such fucking hypocrites sometimes lol)but Tommy is like the first person to take bucks behavior and roll with it. Like after the date went bad and their at the coffee shop he says Evan it’s not because you behaved badly it’s because you’re not ready. And he didnt want to pressure him if he wasn’t. But bucks not used to that. He’s used to being the problem and having to bend over backwards to fix himself for people. Tommy doesn’t want that. He understands.

Honestly I love Eddie, but I think Tommy is the first person to accept all of buck even the ugly parts. Everyone else wants him to change when he fucks up, but Tommy just goes with it. Maybe because Tommy was once in bucks shoes so he understands that people are messy and they aren’t perfect and sometimes they do and say stupid shit but that doesn’t make them bad. And it’s all part of growing as a person.

Anyways I just really love buck and Tommy and I think Tommy is really good for him. And vice versa. Cuz everyone needs a buck in their lives.

[buckevantommy]

Bucktommy Fixit where they reconnect next year and become friends - albeit ones who mostly converse via text and only really see each other on calls or running into each other at a bar etc. They don’t actually make plans to hang out, they just keep in touch. But keeping in touch turns into daily text conversations about anything and everything which turns into post-shift phonecalls at least once a week.

Meanwhile: Buck is casually dating, maybe more than one person, because he’s not looking to settle down right now he’s just looking to have some fun and meet some interesting people. But he starts dating one guy a little more seriously, to the point he stops dating others.

Also: Tommy’s been seeing a therapist. And doing art therapy. And trying his damndest not to turn into a sad lonely old man. It was a new year’s resolution kind of thing. He’d dated casually but soon realised it was better to just meet his base needs and focus on platonic relationships - like new friends and old friends, acquaintances and coworkers, and what little family he still talks to. 

Someone asks how Buck’s new boyfriend feels about Buck texting his ex-boyfriend so much (and Buck has mixed feelings about all of that: having an ex-boyfriend and a second boyfriend makes him giddy and conflicted all at once). He starts to wonder if he shouldn’t be texting Tommy so much now that he’s dating someone properly. But he doesn’t get the same want to text his boyfriend about his work day or random things in his life, and when they do text it’s brief and he doesn’t respond to Buck’s rambling trains of thought the same way Tommy does. He thinks it’s fine. Not everyone is a texter. And Tommy is his friend and people text their friends all the time while dating or being married.

But it’s different when it’s an ex. And Buck hasn’t told his current boyfriend that the friend he’s always texting with is an ex. Not that current boyfriend is aware of how much they’re texting or how often they talk on the phone. And current boyfriend knows Buck’s ex is called Tommy. And Buck always just says ‘a friend’ whenever current boyfriend asks who pinged him. Never ‘just’ a friend; Tommy will never be that for Buck, despite everything.

Things come to a head late one night after/during a rough shift or after a fight with Buck’s current boyfriend. Buck calls Tommy and vents because Tommy always lets him vent and always listens to what he has to say, and then he broaches what they haven’t discussed since reconnecting months ago: does Tommy ever think about where they’d be right now if they were still together?Buck has taken responsibility for his part in moving too fast, but he wants to know more about Tommy’s headspace now compared to when things ended between them. It’s curiousity in that ‘what if’ sense, but he also wants to know how Tommy is really doing, if he’s opening himself up to people, letting himself be happy, be loved.

There’d been a closure type of conversation not long after they reconnected, with Tommy apologizing and being sincerely happy for Buck and mentioning how he’s been working on himself a lot in the time since. And buck was happy for him but Tommy held back on details about what exactly he was doing and what that meant for him and his future relationships. He wanted Tommy to want to tell him, so he didn’t pry, but he liked the idea of being a friend Tommy could be open and honest with.

“Evan..”

Tommy knows he hates when he calls him ‘Buck’, but he never actually switched back to ‘Evan’, instead just kind of omitted saying his name altogether. Buck wonders what he’s listed as on Tommy’s phone. On Buck’s phone Tommy is ‘TK’, and he’s told more than one white lie to more than one nosey person that it was a firefighter friend from Texas - gay but happily married. He does keep in touch with T.K., but there’s periods between his letters on Buck’s contact list.

Tommy already said he’s sorry. He’s already told Buck it wasn’t his fault, that he would’ve ended things eventually even if they took their time with every step and that’s on him, it’s his issues and his life, not Buck’s.

“I can’t think about that.”

“I think about it all the time.”

Buck has a boyfriend and he’s happy, but he thinks about his ex-boyfriend slash current friend and what they could’ve looked like today if Buck had found a way to make Tommy believe he wanted all of him. He tells himself it’s to know himself better, to be better prepared and try harder next time. But he’s kidding himself if he says it’s not because he still has feelings for Tommy.

“You have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

And.. he is. He is happy with current boyfriend. But he was happy with Tommy. And he can’t help wondering if he was happier with Tommy than he is right now, or if Tommy was right and his excitement and wonder about being in a queer relationship got muddled up with how he felt about Tommy. He still doesn’t know. He wishes he knew. 

“I was happy with you.” Tommy sighs over the line but Buck doens’t let him cut things off. “I know you think it was puppy love, and that I didn’t know you well enough, but.” But. He knows Tommy better now. Tommy has opened up to him as a friend, sharing personal details about himself and his past - not everything Buck wants to know and he never could bring himself to ask, but he’s learned things about Tommy in these past few months that he wishes he’d known when they were dating. And he wants to know more. He wants to know it all. 

“But?”

“Sometimes, it works backwards.” Sometimes you get to know someone and fall for them, and then you learn dark things about their past or get a better look at their emotional baggage or they go through a rough time. And some people break up because it’s too much or not what they wanted. But some people simply care more, and become stronger together for it. Buck wanted the chance to know Tommy better, to be there with him through the bad times. He never got to find out how things would’ve gone but he thinks he knows his own heart well enough to know he wouldn’t have abandoned or rejected or hated or been fed up with Tommy because he has a past or he’s imperfect or life threw some crap at him.

Buck knows people are more than they seem. He wants to see them for everything they are, to be trusted with that, the same way he wants to be seen in return and wanted anyway.

“What does?”

“Love.”

Sometimes, you love someone more after you learn the bad stuff - or what they think is bad - not less.

Buck breathes in as Tommy remains quiet.

“I didn’t have to know all of you to love you, Tommy. And whatever you think about how I would’ve reacted to the things you didn’t share with me, you’re wrong. I know I would’ve loved you anyway. And not out of pity, or some misguided infatuation, but because knowing you better means getting to love more of you, it means loving you better.”

Tommy doesn’t respond, and when there’s a bleep from Buck’s phone he thinks Tommy hung up - except he didn’t: it’s a facetime request. They’ve done this a few times before but only for something on a call or because it was easier for Buck to show Tommy what he was talking about in realtime rather than try to send through photos and videos.

Tommy fills his screen looking soft around the edges, hair and clothes and face bed-rumpled. His face is drawn into something that threatens to break Buck’s heart again; it beats in aching memory and yearns in equal measure. You’re good, he wants to say, you don’t deserve what you put on yourself.

“Tommy..”

[alchemistc]

Married In Vegas Interlude: The Patio

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

"I miss you," Evan says, strain in his voice, around his eyes. "I went out with a guy the other night and he said movies are for the weak-minded."

Evan always fell asleep halfway through movies. Not enough stimulation, so Tommy had started massaging his leg, tossing a nerf ball back and forth, asking Evan to paint his toenails. He's got a knitting for beginners kit sitting at the bottom of his mud room ottoman because that had been his next attempt to keep him entertained enough to make it through a single theater run-time Lord of the Rings.

"I hired a Taskrabbit to box up all your things because every time I saw them I wanted to call you," Tommy admits.

"Even the -?"

"That too," Tommy interrupts, and Evan scowls.

"You always do that."

"Anticipate what you're doing to say?"

"Never let me finish."

Tommy can't help himself: "I don't recall that ever being a problem." The first time Tommy had found his prostate he'd made noise like a dying cow and Tommy had been worried his neighbors would call the cops and a station they both knew would show up just in time for Tommy to drown in a puddle of Evan's cum.

Evan kicks at his leg. "We never talked about the things we did that irritated each other."

Tommy gets both calves wrapped around the offending ankle and holds them in place, hovering above the cheap and patchy artificial turf.

"Like you always pretending you couldn't overpower me if you tried?" he asks, and Evan bends his knees and hooks his toe and if Tommy didn't let the hold go they'd both end up in the ER tonight.

"Like turning the thermostat in the loft down every night when you snuck down for water after you thought I was passed out."

"You have fifty blankets within arms reach up there," Tommy argues, and something satisfied sparks behind Evan's eyes. Was he not supposed to cop to that?

"You flirt with my barista every time you wake up early to buy me coffee at the cafe downstairs," Evan says.

"Tawny is basically my barista at this point, she never saw you." It's been six months. Tawny is definitely not his barista, anymore

"Maybe I wanna be the one who wakes up early and treats you, every once in a while." Which makes Tommy snort, and tip his beer against his lips to drain the rest before he digs in the bucket for another.

"You're the biggest pillow princess I've ever met," he snaps, and then amends his statement. "That isn't one of the irritations," he says, softer. When he drops his free hand on the table, Evan snatches at it, fingers stretching over the back of it before twisting Tommy's wrist to reveal his palm. He does that thing that always made Tommy a little boneless: fingernails snagging on Tommy's calluses as he traces the patterns on his palm, up the lengths of his fingers. "I like taking care of people. You. I like taking care of you."

He curls his fingers in to catch his movements on a downward drag, slides them into the empty spaces between Evan's and presses their palms together. It's silent. Tommy feels heated, and he's not sure he can blame the three straight whiskeys he'd pounded back when he'd caught sight of the breadth of Evan's back, assumed it was a stranger, and thought to himself: I deserve to be haunted by this ghost.

"Can we please talk, Tommy? For real?"

Tommy pulls another beer from his bucket and passes it off to Evan. "I miss you too, Evan."

Evan drags his chair half an inch closer and beams.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | October 21st-27th 2024

Sorry it's a little bit late!

Can't wait for Confessions!! 🤩

Complete

you make my heart beat by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Post-S2, Different First Meeting | 1,8K | Teen): Eddie Diaz knows two things: 1) he's a great nurse; and 2) he does not fall for patients. After spending five months with Evan Buckley...well. Maybe that second one is a little more of an open question.

give me a sign by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Werewolf Eddie, Eddie Coming Out | 2K | General): “Okay, okay,” he says, holding his hands up. So Eddie doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe it was embarrassing. Maybe he’d gotten really drunk, and he regrets it. Maybe it was with someone embarrassing, like an ex, or— Buck stops with his coffee halfway to his mouth. Maybe it was a man. Eddie’s never said anything about—he’s never suggested— But then, Buck himself never said anything until he said something. He’d barely known there was anything to say. OR: buck thinks he knows eddie's secret. he doesn't know the half of it.

love & magic (if the music is groovy) by ipretendtobesane/ @useramor (Witch Buck, Getting Together | 2K | Teen): buck accidentally casts a love spell on eddie. it doesn't quite work.

just call me sweetheart by snarkymuch/ @snarkythewoecrow (Kidnapping, Getting Together | 2K | Mature): They get knocked out and tied up, though Buck gets the worst of it. Eddie takes care of him, worries, and touches his dick, but not necessarily in that order. Oh, and Buck definitely thinks he must be dreaming because Eddie just called him sweetheart.

Well, This is Awkward by eightpackdiaz (S8E6: Confessions Spec, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Eddie finds out about the well. Buck goes to awkward and amusing lengths to avoid talking about it.

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Eddie Diaz by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Eddie Coming Out, Getting Together | 3K | General): Eddie comes out, and Buck decides to be his wingman. It all goes great. And Buck’s super chill about it.

if there’s a fire to be felt (call a cowboy) by justhockey (S8E5: Masks, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): “Looking good, Scarface,” Buck says, and he’s acutely aware of how breathless he sounds. “Not so bad yourself, cowboy,” Eddie remarks, his eyes trailing up and down the length of Buck’s body yet again. For a second, they’re the only two people in the room. The only two people in the whole world. The way that Eddie is looking at him - the approval in his eyes, the smirk teasing at the corners of his mouth - it feels like. Like something. It feels like a moment, maybe. Something stolen, right beneath the noses of all of their friends and family. And then there’s the clearing of a throat, and Buck feels a shoulder bumping into his. It jolts him out of the moment, and he turns to look at the man standing next to him. His boyfriend.

What a feeling (to be right here beside you now) by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S7, Sick fic | 3K | General): Buck shows up on Eddie’s doorstep after his break up with Tommy. Eddie takes care of him, naturally.

Mister I’ll make a husband out of you by scarmaddiewrites (Post Bachelor Party, Accidental Marriage | 6K | Mature): “Eddie doesn’t remember telling Buck he’s gay. No, Eddie has kept that shit on lockdown. In an envelope, inside a side, locked inside an apocalypse bunker, inside Alcatraz.” Or Buck is keeping a secret, until he isn’t.

kerosene by mandolare/ @roguebuck (S7E6: There Goes The Groom, PWP | 6K | Explicit): He doesn’t— need more of Eddie. This is enough. This is plenty. This is more than anyone else has of him; he can deal with the marrow-deep want that’s begun to choke him every once in a while. So what if sitting next to Eddie makes his skin feel like it’s on fire. At least he’s sitting next to Eddie.

it only takes a taste (when it’s something special) by weewooforever (Post-S7, Infidelity, PWP | 7K | Explicit): Eddie shifts slightly and clears his throat again. “But can you answer my original question? What’s it like kissing a guy?” Buck shrugs, trying to sound casual. “Honestly? It’s pretty much the same as kissing a girl. Lips are lips, you know?” Eddie crosses his arms, unconvinced. “Come on, Buck. It can’t be that simple. You’re telling me there’s no difference at all?” Buck leans back, a playful smirk spreading across his face. “Well, if you don’t believe me, I could always prove it to you.”

deep inside a gold mine by marviless/ @marviless (Established Buddie, Fluff | 8K | Teen): in which eddie is in love and a bit clingy about it.

I choose you, Pikachu (or the ways two idiots finally say you’re mine) by snarkymuch/ @snarkythewoecrow (Werewolf AU, Alpha Buck/Alpha Eddie, Getting Together | 8K | Explicit): Buck gets hurt at a scene, sparking a reaction in Eddie that is usually reserved for mates, which is especially odd since they aren’t nor have ever been dating, let alone bonded as a pair. So when Eddie shows up at the loft after his shift, feral and lost to his wolf, he proceeds to literally lick Buck’s wounds, nuzzle his crotch, then test every last fiber of Buck’s willpower as he desperately tries to do the right thing, not wanting to take advantage Eddie in this state. Which, for the record, he fails at—though neither is bothered by that in the slightest.

🔥 all our bruises beg for a chance by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergence, Amputee Buck, S4 | 10K | Teen): Buck is adjusting to life living with Eddie, Chris, and his service dog Cranberry, when his parents visit for the first time since he lost his leg. OR: A Cranberry-verse take on the events of Buck Begins. (Part 3 of Buck & Cranberry)

🔥 i could give you fifty reasons by marviless/ @marviless (Post-S7, Getting Together | 15K | Teen): buck is on a mission to help eddie recover his self-confidence. it goes well for exactly zero parties involved.

To Be Loved Anyways by Bookworm0303/ @insertlovelyperson (Future Fic, Established Buddie | 15K | Teen): “Just don’t expect me to walk you down the aisle,” Phillip laughed, looking around like he expected the rest to agree. And when no one did, glancing at one another in shock, confusion, and hurt on his behalf... it’d been the last straw: “I wouldn’t ask you to,” Buck said, as if discussing something as inconsequential as the weather, “I’d ask Bobby.” --- or Buck experiences the unconditional love of a parent for the first time in his life at a five year-old's birthday party.

🔥 white lies & a couple of dumb mistakes by justhockey (Accidental Marriage, S7 | 17K | Mature): “It could be worse,” Buck says. Eddie is pacing the length of the hotel room. Buck’s hotel room. The one that they shared last night, because they got married. Drunk married. In Vegas. By fucking Elvis. Jesus fucking Christ. If Eddie wasn’t so hungover he’d worry that the splitting in his head was a brain aneurysm. “How, Buck? How could it possibly be worse?” “We could have married strangers?” (Or, Eddie and Buck get married, move in together, and then fall in love. In that order. Kind of.)

🔥the city is a jungle and i’m a beast by putanauhere/ @putanauhere (Werewolf Eddie, S8 | 42K | Mature): or, Eddie has enough on his plate this summer – a newly empty nest, a terrible new captain, and a new mustache – without adding a new werewolf to the mix

WIP

🔥we won't look back, we won't be lost by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S7, Dad Buck | 1/5 | 8K | Teen): Over six years after the 118 rescued a baby from a pipe, Buck meets that same child again on a different call. And in all that time, she never found a home. OR: Buck adopts Pipe Baby while Eddie waits for Christopher to come home.

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @sherlockcrossing (Prompt collection | 34/? | 22K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

34. 56. pulling your lover into your lap, making them straddle your hips 

Podfic

[Podfic] if i am lost, please call my dad(s) by Avanie (S4E8: Breaking Point, Outsider POV | 10-20min | General): Christopher's Uber ride to Buck's apartment.

🔥you could call me babe for christmas ('tis the damn season) by prettyboybuckley [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 // fic by @prettyboybuckley (Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Christmas | 3-3.5h | Teen): Buck and Eddie pretend to be dating as Buck takes the Diaz boys along to Hershey. Once there, things get a little out of hand, and Buck comes to a realization...

🔥To Fly The Skies by Kympossible for Spotsandsocks / @spotsandsocks (Dragonriders of Pern AU | 6-7h | Explicit): Eddie’s grieving and hurt but he finds a new home and then he finds Buck. Slowly things start to get better for him and Christopher. A story about moving forward from trauma and grief with help from the people you love and who love you back. Or a story about how life can work out ok even when you don’t expect it to.

🔥[podfic] Safe for Work by be_brave13/ @djemsowhat // fic by alsaurus (Pre-S7, Getting Together | 20-30min | Teen): Eddie offers to be Buck's official head scratcher, shoulder massager, and general tactile needs provider. It's a really normal thing for friends to do. Surely.

🔥[Podfic] hearts will hold by theyarnmaidstale/ @theyarnmaidstale // by farfromthstars/ @doeeyeseddie (Post-S7 Cruise, Getting Together | 20-30min | General): “Hey,” Eddie says when Buck opens the door, casual, like Buck should’ve expected him. Which he did not. “Uh, h-hey,” he says. “Didn’t you say you had plans today?” “Canceled them,” Eddie says easily, pushing past Buck into his loft. “I’d rather be here anyway.” “Eddie, I–“ Buck closes the door and turns to watch Eddie rummage through his fridge, emerging with two bottles of beer. “What do you mean, you canceled them? Didn’t you have a date?”

🔥 all i ever wanted was a life in your shape [Podfic] by blackglass/ @blackestglass // by tuckergreeen/ @henwilsonmd (Post-S6E18: Pay It Forward, Pre-Buddie | 30-45min | General): “Buck,” said Eddie, trying to school his face into something less fond and amused. “That’s my couch.” Buck turned from where he’d been happily showing off the new piece of furniture he’d gotten with Natalia the day prior. “What?” “The couch,” Eddie repeated, with a quirk of his eyebrow. “You bought my exact couch.” “No,” Buck replied with a shake of his head. “No, it’s definitely different.” Or: Buck buys a new couch, and a few other things that happen after the bridge collapse.

🔥[Podfic] One More Rainy Day by Avanie // fic by TalkNerdyToMe6 (S5 Spec, Dispatcher Eddie, Getting Together | 45-60min | Mature): “911 what’s your emergency?” “Oh, uh… hey Eds.” “Buck? What’s wrong?” “Nothing, uh, nothing’s really wrong. My radio just got messed up when I jumped. I can hear Cap but can’t respond. Can you let him know everything’s all good in here? Or, all good considering?” “Jumped?”

Re-Read

wrap your arms around me, baby boy by marviless/ @marviless (Getting Together | 6K | Teen): in which buck pretends to be asleep and overhears something he shouldn't.

you'll have what's meant to be by farfromthstars/ @doeeyeseddie (Hen POV, Fluff | 8K | Teen): Buck slaps the back of his hand against Eddie’s chest. “I even carried Eddie here once.” “That was the adrenaline.” “Well, yeah,” Buck admits. “But I could do it now, too. Do you want me to prove it?” That’s the flirtatious tone that was missing earlier, and Hen immediately pays closer attention. Eddie makes a sound that Hen has never heard him make, and it takes her a second to realize that it was a giggle. A giggle! If only she could record this shit for Chim and Karen. ~ Hen spends three weeks watching Eddie make a fool of himself in front of Buck.

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Cuffed

Summary: Eddie has been ignoring & avoiding his best friend, Reader, for weeks now. Buck can’t stand it anymore & enlists Tommy to help him in his scheme to get the two of you talking again. 

TW/CW: Eddie Diaz x Reader, Get Together

Requested?: No 

Word Count: 2,215

A/N: This is entirely inspired by a dream I had. I’ve been watching too much 911 & simping over Eddie so I’m not surprised lmao. Hope you enjoy! Much love to all & REQUESTS ARE OPEN! P.S. I almost took this in a different direction & made it longer but couldn't bring myself to do it lol. If any smut writers wanna do it justice & finish it for me, be my guest!

[A/N: This dork makes me smile...]

--- Third Person POV --- 

     "Evan, do you really think it's a good idea to use Chris as bait so we can kidnap Eddie?" Tommy asks, rubbing his forehead at his boyfriend's scheme. 

     Buck looks at Tommy with an exasperated expression before turning to look at Chris who is sat at the kitchen table doing homework, "Chris can we use you as bait to get your dad and (Y/N) to talk again?" 

     "Whatever it takes, even if you have to kidnap me instead," Chris responds not even looking up from his papers. He too is just as frustrated with his father as Buck is, as everyone is. It has been weeks since the two previously inseparable best friends had any semblance of an interaction. Not for lack of trying on (Y/N)'s part though. She had tried and tried to get Eddie to at least acknowledge her existence, but he kept avoiding and ignoring her. She gave up and decided it was best to let him come to her. 

     Buck looks back at Tommy and gives him a pointed look to which the older man simply rolls his eyes, "Fine, what do you need me to do?" 

     Buck grins triumphantly, "Call (Y/N) and tell her that Chris insisted on going to her house because he doesn't want to be here. I'll call Eddie and tell him that Chris ran away to (Y/N)'s house. Carla is already on her way here to keep an eye on Chris." 

     Begrudgingly Tommy pulls out his phone to dial (Y/N)'s number. It rings once before she answers, "What's up pilot friend?" 

     "Pilot friend?" Tommy asks confused. (Y/N) is always coming up with silly nicknames for all her friends but this one is her worst yet. 

     "It's been a long shift, okay? That's the best I got right now," she admits. 

     Tommy looks at Buck who is bouncing on his tippy toes, trying to patiently wait for his turn. Tommy sighs, "Look, Chris insisted we take him to your house." He notices Carla enter and join Chris at the table before continuing, "He said something about being mad at his dad again and not wanting to be here." 

     On the other end of the line (Y/N) sighs, "Okay, I'm leaving now. I'll be there soon." With this she hangs up. 

     "She took the bait," Tommy says motioning to Buck who whips his phone out so fast he nearly throws it across the room. 

     Buck taps on Eddie's number and in no time, he answers, "What, Buck?" 

     "Nice to speak to you to, Eddie. Look we tried to stop him, but he took off to (Y/N)'s house," Buck sighs dramatically making Tommy roll his eyes for what feels like the umpteenth time. 

     "What? Why?" Eddie asks concerned. 

     "I don't know, man. Said he was mad at you again but wouldn't say why," Buck answers possibly a little too excitedly since his plan seems to be working. Eddie is quiet on the other end, so Buck asks, "Do you want us to meet you there?" 

     Eddie sighs, "Yeah, maybe if he won't listen to me when I tell him to come home then he'll listen to you." 

     "Alright, we'll see you in a bit," Buck tries to say but Eddie hangs up before he can get the first word out. Staring at his phone with an annoyed look he instead says, "He hung up on me." 

     Tommy is already heading for the door waving goodbye to Chris and Carla, so Buck quickly follows suit. They have to make it to (Y/N)'s house before she or Eddie does. Minutes later they're waiting patiently at (Y/N)'s kitchen counter bickering because Buck hadn't thought this far ahead. All he had was a plan to get them there and handcuffs to make sure they stay. He has no clue how to get them in the same room. 

     As (Y/N) pulls into her driveway, she wonders if the boys called Eddie but decides it doesn't matter, he'll just take Chris and leave if they did. She makes her way into her house to find Buck and Tommy standing at the kitchen counter. She drops her bag at the door and makes her way over to them, dropping her keys and phone on the counter when she does, "Where's Chris?" 

     Quick on his feet Tommy replies, "He's in your room. Pretty upset and won't let us in." 

     (Y/N) tilts her head at them, "Why is he in my room?" 

     Buck chimes in, "He said he felt safer and calmer in there." 

     (Y/N) runs her fingers through her hair and sighs, "Okay, I guess I'll go talk to him. Maybe he won't pull a stunt like his father has for weeks." She makes her way down the hallway to her room but thinks nothing of the fact that Buck and Tommy are right on her heels. She doesn't notice Buck pull a pair of handcuffs out of his pocket behind her back. (Y/N) knocks on her bedroom door before opening it slowly. She looks around the room and even under the bed, but Chris is nowhere to be seen. She turns around to her friends with confusion on her face but before she can say a word Tommy is sweeping her up onto his shoulder and plopping her onto the end of the bed as Buck immediately cuffs her left hand to the metal footboard. She looks up at them in pure confusion and shock, "What the hell?!" 

     Buck shrugs, "Sorry (Y/N). This is the only thing I could think of to get him to talk to you." Before she can say, "How exactly is this gonna help?" Tommy wraps the bandana he swiped from the top of her dresser around her head and ties it, covering her mouth to keep her quiet.  

     Buck gives his own look of confusion but Tommy shrugs, "Figured we don't want her warning him." (Y/N) glares up at her friends but Tommy simply ruffles her hair before pulling Buck out of the room. 

     Outside the closed bedroom door Tommy dishes out instructions, "Listen, same thing we did with her, except he's gonna see her when he opens the door and know it's a set up so we have to be quicker. Also, handcuff him to her other hand not the bed," Buck nods and the two return to the kitchen. 

     Moments later they repeat the process as planned and soon have Eddie handcuffed to (Y/N). Buck grins triumphantly and Tommy can't help but adore how happy this has made his darling boyfriend; he just hopes it works. Their two friends glare up at them. Eddie is the first to speak, "Why is she gagged?" 

     "Oh yeah, sorry about that (Y/N). Here let me," Buck removes the bandana and the three men look at her waiting for her to say something but all she does is glare up at them with her jaw clenched. 

     Without pulling his eyes away from her, Eddie chuckles, "She's not speaking, you guys are dead men walking." At this, (Y/N) turns her head to glare daggers at Eddie. 

     Tommy begins pulling Buck from the room, "I think we might all be dead when she gets loose," he admits closing the door behind them. 

     It's silent for several heart beats before Eddie finally speaks up, "I should've known this was a set up." 

     She grinds her teeth, "What so you could just avoid me even more?" Eddie sighs and looks down at where their hands are cuffed together. He knows he's upset her, but he can't bring himself to explain why. He looks up at her face to find her still glaring at the door Buck and Tommy left through. He finds her jaw so clenched it looks like it hurts.  

     With his free hand he reaches up and gently massages his thumb against her jaw, "You're gonna crack your teeth." She says nothing. He sighs and rakes his fingers through his hair.  

     It's silent for a few more moments before she finally speaks, "There's a paperclip in my side table drawer holding some pictures. Give it here so I can pick these cuffs." 

     Eddie looks over at the drawer but stops to think for a moment. He can't stand it anymore, "No." 

     She whips her head around to glare at him now, "What do you mean no? That's what you want isn't it? To be as far away from me as possible?" 

     He locks eyes with her and can see the hurt hidden away behind her anger, "Not at all." 

     Her gaze softens just the slightest bit and finally her jaw relaxes, "Then why?" 

     She doesn't need to specify, he knows exactly what she's referring to, "Because I'm a dumbass." 

     She laughs softly and looks away, "Can't argue with you there." Eddie lifts his free hand again to place it on the other side of her face and tug her to look at him. When she does, the anger is gone and all that remains is the pain. He mentally scolds himself for hurting her so badly. That's never what he intended to do. 

     He takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I-" something inside him tells him to just stop talking and leave it at that, perhaps fear, but he refuses, "I thought that by distancing myself from you I'd be saving both of us from getting hurt." 

     Astonishment etches her features, "What are you talking about, Eddie?" 

     He lets her face go and looks down at where his hand drops in his lap, "I thought if I distanced myself from you then these feelings would go away and I wouldn't risk losing our friendship but apparently I've risked it anyway." 

     With the hand that is cuffed to his she reaches up to tug his chin toward her. When they lock eyes again, she asks, "What feelings? What do you mean risk losing our friendship?" 

     He swallows hard before willing the words out of his mouth, "I love you (Y/N). I have for a while now. I know you don't feel the same and I didn't want to risk making it awkward between us." 

     Her facial expression goes slack, "You're really are a dumbass then huh?" His confusion prompts her to continue, "I love you too, idiot. It started as what I thought was a little crush the first time I met you, but god has it snowballed into more." 

     He can't think of anything to say in this moment. He doesn't want to think. All he wants to do is kiss her until they're both struggling to breathe. So, he does. His lips clash with hers and she doesn't pull away. Encouraged by this he swipes his tongue across her bottom lip to which she happily obliges. His free hand ghosts up her body to cup her jaw. She fumbles with their connected hands before finally managing to get her arm around his neck pulling him closer and letting his hand dangle from her's. It feels like eons later when the two finally part for air, but Eddie thinks it wasn't long enough.  

     She runs her thumb up and down his jaw, their faces still so close that their breaths fan each other's lips. She's the first to speak, "I wanted to yell at you. I wanted to scream until my lungs gave out, but I can't. All I want right now is your lips on mine." 

     "These cuffs make it a little difficult huh?" he chuckles tugging their connection. She nods, laughing as she unravels her arm from around his neck. He leans toward the side table and sure enough finds a paperclip binding together pictures of them and their team. He returns to her side and hands it to her, allowing her to unlock the cuffs around their wrists. Just as she gets it unlocked, he grabs her hand and gently takes the paperclip back. She looks at him in shock as he frees his wrist and returns the paperclip to its job of binding together the photos, leaving her other wrist still locked to the end of the bed. 

     When he returns to her side, he peppers kisses along her jaw and neck. Her free hand automatically finds itself in his hair, but she jangles the other in frustration, "Eddie-"  

     He pulls away and shushes her with a finger against her lips before she can finish, "You're not going anywhere, Mi Amor." 

     She pouts as he leans into her making her back touch the bed. Sneakily, she grabs the other pair of handcuffs from where they absentmindedly left them on the bed. His return to her neck is cut short when she clicks the cuffs around his right wrist that has found its way to her hip. He pulls back just barely to look but that's all the space she needs to pull his hand up and attach it to the metal right beside hers. He looks between their hands and her face in surprise. 

     She grins mischievously, "You should've turned me loose." 

     He sighs and drops his head to rest on her collarbone, "Okay, but now I can't reach the paperclip." 

     Her grin gets wider as she places her hand on the back of his neck and tugs lightly on the ends of his hair, "Exactly." 

Masterlist

More 911

[theotherbuckley]

Several Sentence Sunday

I’m alive guys.. I haven’t posted much lately because uni is once again kicking my ass but here’s a snippet from my bucktommy meeting at physio fic au. These men have basically just met and I’m already wanting to smush their faces together and make them kiss but we are so far away from that 😭

He manoeuvres himself until he’s sitting again, closing his eyes as he leans against the wall, trying not to feel sorry for himself.

His phone vibrates in his pocket but he ignores it, knowing it’s probably Maddie asking about his appointment. He’s not ready to answer her yet.

It vibrates again and Buck sighs, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. To his surprise it’s not Maddie, warmth rushes to his cheeks when he sees the messages.

Unknown:

Get home okay?

It’s Tommy 🚁

He’s so kind, checking in to see if he’s okay, even though he drove him home. Buck would cry if he wasn’t already doing so.

His hands shake as he types back, adrenaline and pain rendering his body useless.

Buck:

Elevator broke

A series of dots appear on his screen, indicating Tommy’s typing, before they disappear. It’s hard not to feel disappointed.

He tries to force his mind back onto other things, namely getting up the rest of the stairs before his phone vibrates, this time for longer, Tommy’s new contact flashing on the screen as his call comes through.

Buck stares at the screen, mouth dropping open slightly before he rushes to answer, bringing the phone to his ear.

“T—Tommy?” Buck asks, voice wavering as he speaks. He doesn’t have time to feel embarrassed before Tommy is speaking into his ear.

“Are you okay, Evan?” Tommy says, concern evident in his voice.

“I—” he means to say he’s fine, but there’s something about the worry in Tommy’s voice, or maybe just Tommy in general, that stops him from lying, “I’m sitting on the stairs,” Buck admits as another tear rolls down his cheek. He knocks his head against the wall, closing his eyes and sighing, hiccuping slightly.

“Stay right, there,” Tommy commands. Buck’s in too much pain to properly understand what he’s doing.

“Okay,” Buck whispers.

It could be 10 seconds or 10 minutes later, that Buck opens his eyes to Tommy rushing through the doors to the apartment. Buck doesn’t have a chance to question it because Tommy is right there next to him. He has his large hands wrapped around his face, his thumbs hover over his cheeks like he’s considering wiping his tears away but thinks better of it.

Buck finds himself disappointed that he doesn’t, craving those calloused fingers to wipe away his pain. He wants to lean into those hands, let Tommy hold him, and comfort him — so he does, he can always pass it off as the pain making him delirious if he has to.

Tommy doesn’t question it, too busy checking Buck for any bruising, eyes darting over his body for signs of injury.

“Evan…” Tommy whispers, eyes wide and sad. Buck doesn’t like that look on his face, he much prefers the scrunchy smile. He squirms on the step, pushing his face further into Tommy’s palm to hide.

Tommy chuckles slightly, a soft noise that has warmth blooming in Buck’s chest. He thinks Tommy must have some sort of magic healing powers because he’s already feeling better in his presence.

Tags:

Credit for the idea @bucked-it-up

Tagged by @perfectlysunny02 <3

SSS tags: @bidisasterevankinard @diazheartsbuckley @jeeyuns @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @jesuisici33 @your-catfish-friend @ladydorian05 @giddyupbuck @eowon @watchyourbuck @steadfastsaturnsrings @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @rainbow-nerdss @cal-daisies-and-briars @evanbegins @diazsdimples @wikiangela @bucksbirthmark  @underwaterninja13 @daffi-990 @aspecbuddie @bucks-daddy-issues @tizniz @monsterrae1 @loveyouanyway @hippolotamus @actualalligator @pirrusstuff @actuallyitsellie @dangerpronebuddie @babybibuck @exhuastedpigeon @buddieswhvre @lonelychicago @rogerzsteven @bucksbignaturals @smallandalmosthonest @spotsandsocks @evanbi-ckley @inell @ronordmann @snarkythewoecrow @lavenderleahy

@justcharlie10 @rdng1230 lmk if you want to be added or removed

[aroeddiediaz]

7x04 Coda

Sprained ankles hurt. Eddie shouldn’t be as surprised as he is by the pain, because he knows all too well that the amount of pain injuries feel like is almost inverse with the actual damage they cause. A shot from a sniper felt like almost nothing, while a stubbed toe sends ricochets up his spine.

But that’s nothing compared to the encroaching feeling of dread as Eddie thinks back on his interactions with Buck over the last two weeks, and what might have caused his best friend to lash out at him.

“I think we fucked up,” he grumbles to Tommy, who gives him a quick glance before returning his attention to the road.

“You mean with Evan?” Tommy says.

Evan. That was kind of weird, right? Eddie had only ever heard Buck’s sister and parents call him by his first name before. He’d only used the name once himself, when he told Buck about his will.

But Buck hadn’t corrected Tommy on it, so he must not mind, Eddie supposes.

Eddie shakes that stray thought away.

“Yeah,” he continues, even though talking kind of hurts right now. That didn’t seem fair, it’s Eddie’s ankle that’s injured, not his lungs. “I mean, with me kind of blowing him off to come to that karaoke night… and the UFC fight in Vegas… and the pickup game…”

Looking back on it now, Eddie’s not sure when it all got so out of hand. He and Tommy had hit it off on the Coast Guard ride back to LA, while Buck was off checking in with Bobby and Athena. He’d been so excited as they shared their similar interests and history- army, MMA, old cars- that he’d immediately made plans to hang out. When Tommy mentioned that he could get them rinkside tickets in Vegas, Eddie had jumped on it immediately. He didn’t even think about mentioning it to Buck.

And the babysitting thing… Eddie kind of wants to curl up thinking back to the strange face Buck had made when Eddie asked him to watch over Chris. Buck usually loved hanging out with Chris, even volunteering for it when Eddie mentioned having plans, so he didn’t think twice about asking it of him. He should have known.

“Ooh, yeah.” Tommy lets out a whistle. “We did fuck up, huh. Could have at least invited him to muay thai after the match.”

Eddie laughs a little, strained by the pain and the stirrings of shame. “Buck doesn’t know muay thai. Just boxing.”

“Yeah?” There’s a funny tone to Tommy’s voice. “Maybe we should teach him.”

Eddie does a careful rotation of his inflamed joint. The stretch does help ease the pain a little. “Maybe you should offer him lessons,” he says. “I’m gonna be out of commission for a little bit.”

Tommy glances at him again. A slightly longer one, with them stopped at a red light, kind of searching. “You think he’d be interested in learning from me?”

“Oh yeah. You’re great. And Buck’s a quick study for sure.” Eddie glances out the window, and sees the urgent care clinic sign just past the intersection. “Actually, you think you could do me a favor?”

The light turns green. Tommy drives forward. “Of course.”

“Could you talk to Buck for me?” Eddie asks. “I’m sure he’s feeling all sorts of guilty right now, and it’s not his fault. He just got a little too aggressive at the game.”

It’s really too bad. Buck’s really good at basketball, for someone who hates the game so much. Eddie’s sure he’ll never get Buck to touch a ball again.

“Uh, yeah,” Tommy says, slowly, as he pulls up into the parking lot. “If you’re sure you want me to speak with him.”

Eddie nods. “He’s probably licking his wounds at his loft right now, and he’ll need a bit of a kick in the pants before he comes to see me. I trust you.”

Tommy chuckles a little. “Alright, then. I’ll swing by his place in the morning, before my shift, check in on him for you.”

That’s a relief. They find a parking spot close to the clinic entrance, and Eddie hisses a little as he opens the door and swings his legs out. He needs to be more considerate of Buck’s feelings, going forward. He has the sinking feeling that he’s started to take him for granted.

He’ll have to pay him more attention.

[bisexualbrainrots]

for my 911 what if, I once mentioned to @a-mel0n how I'd like for bucktommy's first kiss + time to happen in 3x09 because it just fitted with the theme of the episode (fallout) so I came up with this (long) snippet of their scenes from the ep (1/4). i also wrote this while sleepy so sorry if there are any inconsistencies <3

they're in tommy's place btw!

also, with some help I decided to keep the abby thing, but here it's way juicier! also yeah I'd like to tell y'all about andy sometime, he's the best.

The fridge made that sound again as it was opened, two cold beers being pulled out of it “And I’m sitting there thinking to myself “I have to run, I cannot be a second more with this guy”, that’s why I texted you, actually” 

Buck nods as Tommy gives him one of the bottles, open by the time it reaches his hands “Oh so I was just the distraction then” he smirks at the older, tilting his head, giving the beer a sip as the bottle reaches his lips and Tommy rolls his eyes, taking a sip too.

“Pretty much” he said deadpan as he leaned against the refrigerator.

His date had been horrible, and Tommy was ready to curse at one of his basketball buddies who suggested a blind date. The man wasn’t ugly by any chance, even making Tommy feel weak in his knees when he saw him, but it was his personality that made him want to run towards a cliff. The guy was negativity incarnate, complaining about anything and everything: the place was too quiet, the music wasn’t that great, the waiters were too slow, and the food wasn’t so good. But the last straw was something Tommy could never accept on anyone.

“He said he hates sweets Evan, I mean, What the hell?” Tommy moved towards the living room with Buck following him behind.

“To be fair, I don’t think there’s anyone who has the same sweet tooth as you, Tommy” Buck chuckled when the older shot him one of his looks, and shook his head as they sat on the couch.

“And it’s their loss then” he drank another sip of his beer, resting his head on the cushions “Hating sweets… What else does he hate? Rainbows? Fun?” he nudged Buck's shoulder when he heard the, very loud, laugh come out of his lips “Don’t laugh at me Evan!”

“I… I'm sorry” he had to take deep breaths to calm himself down “But you have to admit it's kind of funny that you're so worked up about a guy not liking sweets, I don't even eat them so often”

Tommy leaned in closer to Buck “That’s just because you try to get on ketosis every year, Don't forget I've seen you on cheat days too!” A second of silence happened before the two men were laughing, shoulders shaking as they tried to compose themselves again “Okay, okay… maybe I'm thinking too much about it, but it's just that I wanted my first time back in the dating scene to feel… special? I guess? I just… I wanted something good, not a date from hell” he sighed, taking another sip.

Buck tilted his head, a comforting smile on his lips “Was the guy at least cute?”

Tommy left the bottle on the coffee table to cover his face with hands and groaned as he sank his body into the couch “He was, and so hot too, which I don't know if it makes it worse that he was such a… pessimist, if I want to be nice” 

Buck whistled “Jeez, I don't want to imagine what you would call him if you weren't nice” he snickered when Tommy's fingers revealed his, very, annoyed eyes “But I get it, after Abby…” he stiffened, not knowing if it was appropriate to continue.

They hadn't really talked about Abby yet, besides that one time before Buck moved out of her apartment, and the younger didn’t know how to approach the subject either, not wanting to make Tommy uncomfortable.

The older gave him a sympathetic look, gesturing at him to continue “It’s okay, we can talk about her”

Buck took a breath, leaving his bottle on the table before speaking “After her I didn’t feel ready either, and it didn’t get any better when I realised I wasn’t the same guy I was before, like… I didn’t want to have something meaningless just to fill a void” he looked down when talking, avoiding the older’s gaze as he fidgeted with his fingers, “I’d say she was… transformative, in a way” he exhaled deeply, furrowing his brows “If I’m honest, a part me feels like I wasted so much time wishing for her to come back, and I regret it, you… You shouldn’t regret this Tommy, a bad date it’s better than stalling” 

Tommy held his shoulder for a while, squeezing a little to give him comfort “Hey, you’re better now Evan, and I could see back then how you weren’t ready to move on so, I don’t think you stalled, not really and… Thank you, for everything”

Buck lifted his head, a question in his face as he looked at the older “Tommy I… What do you mean “everything”?”

Tommy gave him a soft smile, shifting his body and resting his head on the heel of his hand “You helped me when Andy…” he took a deep breath, looking up for a few seconds before turning his gaze back to Buck “When he left, and you were the only to actually ask me how I was doing when nobody wanted to”

Buck frowned “They wanted to, Tommy, it’s just… they thought it was best for you to come to them when you were ready, Chimney almost caved once too” it was his turn to squeeze the other’s shoulder now, stroking the fabric “The only difference between them and me is that I don’t care that I get into everyone’s business” both men chuckled, the air feeling much lighter.

“Okay, but still, thank you for that I… I really needed someone then and I’m glad it was you, even though at the time it didn’t feel like it”

“Oh I know it, I had to fight the words out of you Kinard” he grinned at the older, who once again rolled his eyes at Buck, pushing his shoulder lightly. He looked at him for a while, a question popping into his mind suddenly, “Hey, can I ask you something unrelated?”

“Yeah?”

“Were you ever uncomfortable with me before I dated Abby?”

Tommy was stunned, not expecting the question, but also not understanding the point Buck was trying to make, or insinuating “Uhm, what do you mean Evan?”

Buck exhaled looking away, knowing the explanation could make it worse “I mean… I know I was a bit of a player before, new girl every night kind of guy and I fear… that it was one of the reasons you hated me so much” he brought his left leg closer to his chest, caressing the knee to soothe himself.

“Evan… I, I never hated you, not really” Tommy moved his body closer, chasing Buck’s gaze to make sure they were eye to eye “I mean, yeah, you were stupid and reckless and I really didn’t like it when you called me Thomas but real hate? I couldn’t really, and about the sleeping around thing…” he looked down for a few seconds before turning his gaze back on Buck, an embarrassed smile accompanying it “I can’t really judge when I used to do the same”

The younger’s eyes were wide open “W-what? How?” 

“Well, there’s something called dating apps, where you—”

“I know what a dating app is Tommy, I just” he exhaled through his nose, a nervous laugh coming out of his mouth “I never thought of you as the type to hookup, not that you couldn’t, I mean… but I just, you seem like such a romantic too”

And he was. Everything about Tommy screamed hopeless romantic.

“Who says you can’t be both?” he let out a short laugh, looking at Buck softly “I’ve always been in love with love I guess, it’s just, after Abby I turned to sex as a sort of self-destructive behavior” Tommy didn’t like to think about that time of his life anymore, the painful realization being too much for him sometimes “I slept with a lot of guys and I mean, a lot, but it never made me feel good or like I deserved to have anything good, it was more like a reminder that I, that I wasn’t allowed to be happy after what I did to her—” whatever he was gonna say next was stopped by the feel of two arms wrapping themselves around him “Evan?”

“I… I’m sorry” the words came like a whisper in his ear, which would make Tommy shiver in any other context but here they were overwhelming him.

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t… You never…”

“I’m sorry you felt that way, Tommy… I know I was a pain in the ass then, and I probably still am” he grinned against the skin of the older’s neck “But you deserve love, you may have hurt people but you are good, Tommy” Buck moved his head back, looking at Tommy deep in the eyes “You are a good person, even if you don’t believe it sometimes”

Tommy wanted to cry, his eyes glistening but not daring to go beyond that. For so long he hated himself so much, and let himself be used to prove that point. One-night stands that made him feel empty, bathroom and alleyway hookups that kept the momentum going, shame overpowering his body. Opening himself to love wasn’t easy, not even with a guy as good as Andy was, but he didn’t want to live in a lie anymore, he didn’t want to let hate burn him from the inside out and consume him.

Tommy gripped Buck’s back, not wanting to let him go just yet “Sometimes I think it’s funny, that my own self-hatred was projected onto many of my relationships, ours included”

Buck arched an eyebrow, intrigued “What do you mean?”

Tommy’s hands left the younger’s back almost as an instinct, feeling a heat reach his cheeks as he pulled away, embarrassment crossing his face “I… okay, don’t laugh please” when Buck reassured him he wasn’t going to he took a deep breath and leaned to take a sip of his beer, pretending it would give him courage “Alright, I… when we met I actually thought you were pretty cute, like I could’ve asked you out kind of cute”

Buck heard the record scratch in his brain, there was nothing else but those words.

‘I thought you were pretty cute’

“And that lasted exactly five seconds until you called me by my name” Tommy hid his face on the back pillows, groaning as his words were muffled by them “I can’t believe I just told you that”

“Tommy, you… you aren’t playing with me, right?” the older looked up, confused at the hitch in Buck’s voice. He looked different, something in him had changed in the way he was looking at Tommy, the older could swear he was seeing a glimmer in his eyes, but shook his head internally, thinking it must be the alcohol.

“No, why would I?”

Buck’s body shifted, his side resting on the back pillows as he leaned closer to Tommy, without invading his space “Okay, this may be funny too but… I sort of got jealous when you told us about Andy”

Tommy tensed up, a million questions popping on his mind as he locked eyes with Buck “Wait, jealous? Why?”

Buck tilted his head, a shy smile appearing on his lips “I… I started to feel like that when you probably started seeing him, y-you changed the way you behaved around me, almost as if… I wasn’t worthy of your time anymore” he remembered how it felt, that strange sensation in his chest the first time Tommy stopped fighting him back, making a passing comment instead “Now I know that’s a stupid way of thinking of course, but, I didn’t realise how much I secretly liked getting your attention”

Tommy looked at him wide-eyed, a thought— a desire crossing his mind “My attention?”

“Yeah I guess so” he chuckled, a soft look in his eyes and a warm grin settling in “I… I was so envious of how easy it was for Andy to get your atten—” suddenly all thoughts were replaced with static when he felt the older’s fingers grab his chin and pull him in.

Tommy was kissing him.

Tommy Kinard was kissing him, on the lips. And Buck was returning it.

It was so gentle and sweet, warmth flowing through their bodies as the few seconds the kiss lasted stretched until it felt like hours, hours none of them wanted to end. Tommy’s hands were in different places, one resting on the younger’s chest while the other landed safely on one of the thighs, simply laying there. Buck’s hands were another story, not knowing where to put them, they gravitate around Tommy’s shoulders tentatively, never landing them anywhere before the kiss broke.

Buck opened his eyes first, looking at Tommy like he was from another planet, and with that a light-switch turned on his brain, a realization with it.

When Tommy’s eyes opened he saw a vision: a pair of glassy blue eyes looking back at him, pink lips agape, and a blush across the cheeks he desperately wanted to kiss now.

“Like that?” his mouth was faster than his head, letting him say things unfiltered.

“Yeah… yeah, that works” Buck was dumbfounded, one phrase crowding everything inside his brain: kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.

Tommy gave him one of his scrunchy smiles, the ones Buck had only seen directed at the older’s ex, and he felt good about it. He felt like he was the object of Tommy’s attention, and that was making him feel giddy inside, yearning to keep that going for as long as the older would want to. Buck got closer, their chest almost brushing the other’s.

“So that was okay?” the older asked, and Buck just wanted to jump him and join their lips again, but he held back even though his skin was itching with want.

“Tommy that was… better than okay, I…” Buck’s brain was officially scrambled, trying so hard to make neural connections and actually work to get the words out “I want to— I need to… God, I can’t think straight” he chuckled, leaning his head on Tommy’s shoulder, who proceeded to sink his fingers into his hair, playing with it. Buck was actually in heaven.

“Metaphorically or literally?” he let out a small laugh when Buck admitted to both, and let him lean back to look into each other’s eyes, Tommy’s hand traveling to cup the younger’s face “Hey”

“Hey”

Tommy nudged their noses together, enjoying the moment without getting to kissing just yet. There was a tenderness in the way he was treating Buck that he had never once tried on him before, and it was giving them whiplash. All the time disliking each other didn’t matter, not when Tommy had just changed Buck’s entire life.

“Tommy…” the neediness in Buck’s voice left the older feeling like all the air was out of his lungs, not knowing how to breathe properly.

“Yes, Evan?” The hitch in Tommy’s voice was making the younger feel like his skin was on fire, desperately wanting the other to put it off.

Buck gave him a peck, and then another, and another one as they leaned on the cushions, Tommy’s head resting on the armrest. Buck deepened the kiss, the feeling of Tommy’s wet tongue driving him to the edge in a matter of seconds, nothing else existing. The younger cupped the older’s face with his hands as the kiss continued, looking more like a makeout session at this point. He bit the other’s lower lip, getting a soft moan out of Tommy.

“I need… I need… more, Tommy, I want more” he said between kisses, and sighed against the older man's mouth when he felt his fingers digging inside his shirt, settling on his waist.

“I want that too, but… Are you sure Evan?” Tommy had to ask, even though he just wanted to have Buck all to himself and touch every inch of his body, a heat settling in his belly.

Buck nodded, a playful smile on his face “I’m sure, I want, I only want you now Tommy” and that did it for him, next thing he knew Buck dived back in, their tongues fighting as the younger started to grind against him, sighing with content.

If there was anything like Heaven, Tommy knew he must be in some version of it. And he was loving it.

[lonelychicago]

I've been listening to the prophecy by taylor and i have thoughts, so bare with me on this one.

some people might look at this thing like a superpower, like something cool to trick people with or scare the shit out of them.

tommy thinks of it more as a curse than anything else. a punishment from above— maybe he's done awful, terrible things in some pasts lives and now he's paying the consequences.

truth is, he doesn't know. he can guess, can try to feel his way through the dark like a lost, blind man, but he's probably never gonna know why he is the way he is, why he can see the things he sees.

it started around the time he was nine, he thinks. when he went to hug her grandma, and suddenly he had this vision— like a short movie playing in his head, of how his grandma would die.

tommy hugged her and then there it was in his mind, he could hear her heartbeat and saw her laying in bed, so calm and at peace in her sleep, when her heart slowly stops.

tommy remembers crying out, screaming, pulling away from her in fear, much to the confusion of everyone in his family. his grandma was okay! she was right there! no one believed him when he told them what he saw, what he felt.

(nana june died that very night, in her sleep. just like tommy predicted.)

tommy realized pretty quickly that this was not something he could share with anyone else. not when he ran into his teacher at the grocery store three weeks later and saw how the woman would die in a tragic car crash in just a couple of weeks. not when he kissed a boy for the very first time when he was sixteen and saw he would die from a freak accident at a football game, of all places— a fatal hit to the head would be the end of a life cut too short.

his life became a swirl of death and fear and loneliness.

he pulled away from everyone. what was the point anyway? if he knew the end of their stories? why get atta hed, get close, when he knew the specific details of their deaths and would have to bare that weight on his shoukders all on his own?

(he made the mistake once of falling in love when he was in college. with matthew— a guy who would die of old age, at ninety-five years old. at home, holding the hand of his husband... that was definitely noy tommy.

it was okay. he figured he could have some fun and enjoy whatever time he could. but it only earned him a broken heart and matthew calling him a freak when tommy explained why he couldn't say i love you to him, why he couldn't truly commit.

he has trusted matthew with his deepest secret, with this curse that tommy has no other choice but to live with it. and it ended up in tears and half the campus thinking he was a psycho.)

since then, tommy vowed to never make that mistake again. to keep his distance with people.

and he's been successful, for the most part. he has some friends, of course, but he doesn't let his relationships get too deep, keeping everyone at arm's length.

it's for the best, really.

and he's... not happy, but content. maybe. comfortable.

until evan buckley comes crashing into his life, figuratively and literally speaking.

the guy is— adorable.

tommy has no other word to describe him.

evan is energetic and enthusiastic, passionate about every single thing he says and does. he's reckless and loud and everything's tommy has soent a lifetime running away from.

when buck touches him for the first time, it sends electricity to every one of his nerves. it's intoxicating and amazing and warm, and tommy never wants it to end.

then, the curse kicks in. a little later than usual— as if mocking tommy, almost. teasing him with a tiny taste of what normal looks like and then reminding him he can never have it, not for real.

the first time buck touches him, it's at chimney's wedding— he's drunk and sweaty, cheeks pink and flushed and a boyish smile plastered on his face. he practically draps himself next to tommy's side, leans all his weight against him as he hums the lyrics of the song plahing in the background out of tune.

it's fun and heavenly for a couple of seconds, until tommy gets the vision.

buck in a month, maybe a month and a half. hanging from the firetruck ladder as the sky falls around him, lightning striking him right in the chest and making his heart stop.