#do you think about when we see his death from his pov the song playing only came out a few months before in 1988. he's both very much

[ithacanradio]

fucked up that now im never gonna get closure on the most compelling storyline charles rowland got in fourty years (80s working class rude boy, never stood up for himself, the one time he does so for someone else he encounters death by stoning. he likes that one good deed that got him killed so much he keeps standing up for other people his whole afterlife and not out of any ghost-like need to go to heaven but more out of an alive-boy impulse to be better than he ever could in life (better than his blood tells him he is). his rage is only ever born of love for others and in a story that rehashes Dante's Inferno theory- all sins arise from love, perverted love directed towards others' harm, deficient love, or the disordered or excessive love of good things, he never lets himself feel rage (or to think about love) for thirty years because that goes against his need to be good and of course if anger and love have always hurt you, you would think them to be tainted emotions) steve yockey if you are reading this dm me the script of season 2 or i will be. in your walls.

[ayakashiz]

Alien Stage R6 Analysis

VERY LONG compilation of my interpretations, impressions and unanswered questions about Round 6 of Alien Stage. I just wanted to write this to put all my thoughts in one place so I can finally rest (in pieces). TW for mentions of suic*de/suic*dal ideation.

The most debated is no doubt the kiss/choking scene and Ivan’s motivation for doing so in the first place. 

I think from the very beginning, even before R3, Ivan was planning to go out with a bang. That’s the immediate impression I got from the comic where he mocks/criticizes Sua for planning to “selfishly” die for Mizi and feel good being the “heroine” rather than having to deal with the trauma of being the one left behind. 

(I'm too lazy to edit the whole translation as of now, but might do so when I have more time.)

Ivan tells her how he’s “relieved that he’s not the only who’s that twisted” = He’s comparing himself to Sua. He thinks they’re both ‘twisted’ for planning to do the same thing, but from Ivan’s perspective, he at least isn’t fooling himself into thinking his motives are altruistic. He tasted the feeling of being ‘abandoned’, and he knows he doesn’t want to experience it twice. 

He also probably thought that his death wouldn’t be as impactful on Till as Sua’s death on Mizi, and therefore his own selfishness is more justified in his mind. This most likely plays a role in how cold and biting his words are towards Sua –he’s jealous of that difference between them.

I hadn’t noticed this detail the first time I watched the video: Not only did Till look absolutely miserable and defeated from the get go, but he completely gave up and stopped singing at some point. If you look at the video, we can hear the audio that was supposed to be sung, but Till is quiet and still, and THIS is the moment Ivan chooses to act.

Although they do not show the votes at that particular moment, stopping mid song would have definitely taken a hit to Till’s score as it’s basically forfeiting –a huge contrast to his previous match where he didn’t even let his opponent utter a single line.

In response, Ivan doesn’t just walk towards him but throws his microphone to the ground, explicitly forfeiting as well in order to then pull a drastic move like it was foreshadowed in his interview.

The kiss itself imo was the less calculated/arguably unplanned part. He could have just choked Till from the start and it would have gotten him the same if not better results (since it was the act of violence against another contestant that ultimately lowered his score and got the counter to stop). 

That kiss was authentic and for himself entirely, both as a last desperate attempt at conveying his feelings and a selfish way of leaving a strong impression on Till that he wouldn’t be able to forget (a hypocritical move going back to how he criticized Sua). In that sense, I don’t think Ivan was seriously trying to take Till down with him –although that’s up to interpretation. As I see it, that would contradict his actions up until that point.

Till was VERY CLEARLY suic*dal (once again, he gave up singing), and after the initial shock of Ivan squeezing his neck, this fiery, rebellious man who is KNOWN to fight tooth and nail, simply closed his eyes and relaxed his body, waiting for Ivan to end him without fighting at all. 

The thing is, no matter how suic*dal one may be, the fighting response when being actually suffocated is automatic and completely involuntary. People mention there not being marks on Till’s neck but I think the most telling sign is him not going red, not squirming, not struggling or holding onto Ivan’s wrists (again, expected involuntary responses), his eyes not watering or having blurry vision while we see Ivan from his POV, not opening his mouth even a little to gasp for air and not coughing or gasping either when he was finally released.

Ivan definitely had him in a strong grip, might have even made him a bit lightheaded, but the reason why Till could look so relaxed in the first place is because he had given up and was waiting for Ivan to go ahead. If his closed eyes and limp posture were due to the choking itself, he would have fallen or stumbled when being let go, but we see that his eyes open as soon as he feels Ivan’s hands slipping away and he looks shocked instead.

So then what was Ivan’s motivation, if not to kill him? Yes, there’s the already discussed plan to get himself disqualified. But Ivan glances at the screen only a few seconds after he starts the choking, confirming that the voting had in fact stopped with Till having the higher score. He then goes for one last ‘goodbye’ kiss before continuing to choke him, holding his grip even as he starts getting shot.

We see a closeup of him, his eyes and hands trembling, looking more frustrated/emotional than in Till’s first POV where he looks rather stoic. It makes me think that the reason he refused to let go was simply because he wanted Till to look at him. 

They strongly imply throughout the whole video that being annoying or mean or violent was the only way Ivan learnt how to make Till focus his full attention on him, but now even as he’s threatening his life, even as he himself is dying, even after that kiss, Till wouldn’t look. 

It took him getting fatally wounded and realizing there was no turning back to reach a state of acceptance. His bittersweet expression here reminds me A LOT of his smile after Till runs back during the meteor scene, although this one seems a lot more tender. He seems to accept the fact that Till will never love him back, but Ivan cannot stop loving him anyways and he at least got to put his feelings out there. 

(The parallels here are driving me insane. The way there is light in his eyes in both instances as he looks at Till even while 'losing him' in a way. The struggle between wanting to posses him yet realizing his free spirit/strong will is part of what he loves about him. That last genuine gaze from a character who spent his whole life putting on a mask. Yes I am very normal about this.)

Until then, Ivan’s more tender/vulnerable side is only shown while Till is unconscious or looking away.

(That soft, loving nuzzle to Till's face has me in SHAMBLES.)

But ironically, it’s only when he releases him and shows him this vulnerability without a mask that Till really looks at him for the first time. I’d go as far as to say that it was this moment, and not the kiss, that finally made Till understand Ivan’s feelings. And in turn Ivan gets that little shot of euphoria as he falls to the ground.

Going back to the survivor’s guilt… I can only imagine it’ll go completely downhill for Till from now on. Not only does he already think Mizi might be dead and is angry at himself that he couldn’t save her (as seen in the shot where he punches his own picture), but now he has most likely realized that Ivan intentionally fumbled their match for his sake –which would lead to the realization that he was the reason why Ivan chose to run back to Anakt Garden after him in the first place, and that choice ultimately lead to his death. 

Even though we see them fighting a lot as children through the videos and comics, it’s also implied that they were always together and they shared some quiet moments –the “Mizi didn’t play with you, I played with you” art, all that art of the main 4 playing together, those bright smiles as they ran away together during the meteor shower scene and Till looking so guilty when he let go of his hand. 

There are a few cute doodles of them for those who are on Patreon, and some more lore in the Anakt Garden kit –so they were at the very least friends in their own way (as best as 2 very traumatized and abused children could), constantly fighting and making up. Which God… it shows that despite appearances Till must have actually had the patience of a saint when they were little lmao.

But what I’m trying to say is that despite what Ivan may have thought, his death will most definitely have an impact on Till and the narrative going forward, and I’m excited to find out how that reflects in the final round (if the resistance doesn’t manage to get back up in time to disrupt it). 

Despite how much I adored (and SUFFERED WITH) this round, I still have MANY questions that were left unanswered, both about Ivan and Till, and the lore in general, and I wonder if there’ll be time to answer them all, as I can imagine the next MV will be focused on Luka’s perspective, the only one we haven’t been presented with.

One of the most pressing questions being: What’s the relationship between Ivan and that alien dog? Did he tame it? It is implied that it was Ivan who somehow led Till and Mizi to it in the first place in that one scene, and if so I wonder what his motivation was? Normally jealousy would be the first thing to come to mind but Ivan wasn’t interested in Till until AFTER he saw him stand up to the beast to protect Mizi, so it couldn’t have been that. 

This is something that was also teased on Patreon and I was looking forward to the explanation on the MV, but it never came, and now Ivan is dead, so the next video will most likely not be too concerned with his backstory any longer. (Which, also, I was really curious about his life in the slums before being captured, auctioned and brought to Anakt, as that would have played a huge role in his twisted personality/dark tendencies –once again teased on Patreon very briefly, but not explained beyond that frame of him looking famished.)

The second is, how is Ivan able to open Till’s collar/muzzle so easily? This is a question I’ve been having since R3, but chalked it up to Ivan being sneaky and figuring out some kind of code to the cell door and that somehow automatically deactivating the locks on the restraints… or something. But with how many times he does it in R6 with just a touch it’s very clear that that isn’t the case and also imo they’re trying to point this out as a significant detail. 

It may turn out that I’m just looking too much into it, but I find it really curious and interesting. Not only is he the only child without a collar (Mizi and Sua still had them despite being just as well behaved as him), but he seems to be the only one able to take them off –or at least Till’s. I’m pretty sure the children wouldn’t normally be able to remove them by themselves as it seems to be a control mechanism. So how can Ivan? This might explain a lot about how they were able to escape, and also add a layer of tragedy knowing that Ivan could have chosen to escape by himself at any point, but refused to leave Till behind.

Last but not least there’s all the human experimentation Till was subjected to, which was the main topic of the teaser and we see the same images show up in the very beginning of the MV. They help emphasize Till’s suffering and distressed state of mind, but then they’re never expanded on or mentioned at all for the rest of the video. That’s a huge piece of lore that I also hope isn’t forgotten.

I mean, I really doubt it will. So far VIVINOS & co. have been incredible with their ability to hold back information and release it at the moment where it’s the most impactful, which is refreshing to see. So I trust we’ll get some answers eventually. 

Really curious to know why they would experiment on an ALNST contestant in the first place, especially one that is undoubtedly talented and described as a musical genius (aka. has good odds of doing well on stage and earning the segyein revenue). A very plausible theory might just be that he was just getting constantly drugged to make him less of a threat/more submissive –like we see on the karaoke room scene. But it might as well be something bigger.

As for my expectations for the next round… I’m still just trying to process this one, as you can see by the sheer amount of text. There are many things left to address, and the Hyuna/Luka confrontation has been strongly teased. I wonder also, if the round goes on without interruption, what would Luka’s strategy against Till be? Would he go for provocation again, trying to imitate Mizi/hint to his recent trauma with Ivan? It probably won’t be that simple.

I mean, VIVINOS has been known for subverting our expectations with each round:

The ominous/callous framing that was given to Ivan by the end of Black Sorrow and the art that followed, making us suspicious of his intentions, only to have him die for love. The lifeless/doll-like framing given to Luka, vulnerable and cornered by flashing lights, only to have him be the cruelest/most calculating one (that we know so far). The rebellious, rowdy, willing to do anything to survive framing given to Till, only to have his fighting spirit completely break and willingly waiting to die by Ivan’s hands. The naive, complacent and passive image given to Mizi, only to have her snap, beat the shit out of Luka and join the rebellion –and with how things are going (and her being the protagonist) I wouldn’t be surprised if she, and not Hyuna (the one who was framed as the most strong and reliable, giving us a false sense of security going into R6), is who will have to try and rescue Till (and Luka???).

There are still a ton of things that keep me awake at night about R6 –my favorite character dying aside. I could talk about it forever, but I’ll leave it here. 

Feel free to share your theories, delusions, interpretations or any detail I might have missed with me. God knows we need group therapy after this as the cute chibi keychains can only heal us so far. Thanks for reading my rambles if you made it this far. :’)

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me(part 5) matt sturniolo

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

summary: matt hates your guts but all of that changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.

contains: vampire!matt x reader, highschool au! (18 years old), dark themes, death, smut (not in this part)

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matts pov.

"okay, you guys should feel different any minute now" Madi says before giving me a look. a look that says what I am doing is stupid. judging by the sadness that's roaming in my chest, I'm guessing y/n thinks its stupid too. why does she care, its not like she likes me, I think to myself. but even as I think it, I can't help but cringe at the loss of emotions I would have from getting rid of the bond. sure, it was annoying sometimes, but hell, Iife gets a little boring when you've been living for so long. its easy to go numb and become desensitized, and that's what made y/n an anomaly. even before the mating bond, she made me feel things. even things I didn't want to feel like annoyance and anger.

I look over at her and I can't help but stare. she's so pretty, I think even as the bond fades into a dull nothing.

"quite staring, your freaking me out" she says looking at me. I can see the tears in her eyes, and ,even though the bonds gone, I know she wishes there weren't any. I knew her and I knew that she didn't like to feel like others had power to make her sad or upset. she never wanted to lose control. I can't help but note how much I know about her. more than I thought I knew.

I look away and grab her arm and sigh at the fact that there are no tingles or heat that flash through me this time. "I'll take you home, it's been a long night." and so from there we head back to the car. shit, I almost forgot about chris. I open my phone to call him, but I see a text notification from him instead. "I'm going to stay, the spell could take all night for me" it says. I can't help but wonder how someone can take away the pain of losing a mate, but shrug it off. if I knew I'd be a magic user, not a vampire. and I wouldn't be standing here awkwardly with a girl I hated two days ago. a girl I wish I could comfort, but don't know how too. we climb in the van and I turn on the car. the hiss of the ac and the quiet hum of the radio are the only sounds in the car. she opens her mouth and closes it again. "what? what is it?" i sigh because the tension is killing me.

"if the bond is gone then why am I still sad?" she says quietly. I note the fact that this is the most vulnerable I've ever seen her. she's always had a strong front, and always had something smart to say. but now in the quiet that is my van, I feel like I see her, the real her.

"I don't know why." I say honestly, but cringe at the monotone way I say it. like I didn't care to know why she was upset, and right then I knew her walls were going to come back up before they even do. she shrugs and wipes her face once. "can I play music then, I don't like moping around." she sighs, grounding herself again. "I know you don't" I say softly "and yes you can, as long as you don't have shit music taste" I smirk at the end. teasing her is so much easier and more natural then whatever we've been doing the past 15 minutes. "Oh it's amazing, you're gonna wanna add my songs to your playlist when I'm done. " she takes the mood change and runs with it. she even laughs and I don't even try to stop myself from admiring her smile.

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I pull into her house and all the lights are on and there are clanging noises coming from the inside of her home. its damn near 5 am and no one should be up that early on a Sunday morning. we were just having a good time, surprisingly, listening to music with each other. we both like the same kind of music and even though I acted like I hated her singing I didn't mind. but she wasn't singing now, she actually looked really scared.

"my dads home" she whispers and looks at me with wide glossy eyes. worry flutters in my chest at the sight of her being afraid. this guy must be bad news. "he rarely ever comes home" she says in the same quiet tone her eyes widening even further before she turns to me. "I thought Madi said she put a protection spell on me." she runs her hands through her hair and her breathing is picking up. if she keeps this up, she's going to have a panic attack.

" she did, okay, so you have nothing to worry about!" the words sound all wrong coming out of my mouth. I meant for them to come out comforting but instead they sound a bit like I just want her to shut up and get out of my car. why do I always have to sound so mean.

her breathing picks up more and she's crying now. "you don't know what he's like, matt! you've never met the guy. he doesn't want anything to do with me! and when he comes home, he's always drunk" she pauses and closes her eyes gasping for breath. "and he's mean!" she sobs. before I can stop myself I grab her face and guide her gaze away from the house to me. if she hadn't told me this, I would have never known she'd been hurt this way. I couldn't help but wonder how many times she came home to find a nightmare in her house.

"you don't have to be with that guy" I say slowly and nod my head before continuing

"just stay with me" I whisper.

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@katie-tibo

@cindylcuwho

[briebysabs]

Vnc OP 1 - Sora to Utsuro

We are here again! I’ll be taking the time to talk of VnC’s first opening and breaking down the lyrics. Specifically in regards to what I will refer to as the dream loop theory. If you don’t know what I mean by that, the base summary is that the VnC universe is a story. Noé is the narrator, the character, the archiver and the creator. Noé is writing the memoires to manifest his memories. Let’s call it a memory world. He does this either to escape his regret-filled reality or to save Vanitas. However, when he “loops”, he doesn’t remember why he’s there so everything plays out the way it was written in the memoires.

Then Noé will live on, write the memoires again, and the cycle continues. And because he’s done this countless times, the memoirs gradually stray away from the original story. I’ll elaborate further when talking about OP 1. Right about now!

This was the main translation I could find for the full song (not including English covers but I could reach the same conclusions for those as well) If anyone has other translations for the whole thing, I’d love to see it. https://youtu.be/G_bJwB1YePw?si=xPVlV3_Fd57S-Bo1

/You’re pondering the simple things, pretty much human emotions and love/

/I hope one day you’ll understand/

/Too many wounds have left you patched together, a miserable sight/

/That doesn’t even know the definition of alive/

It is confirmed that this opening is from Noe’s POV. But keep in mind for the rest of this thread, it’s future Noé speaking. There are two main readings for the song; for the most part it’s Noé talking to or about Vanitas. And then there’s Noé talking to himself. This part has both interpretations.

Noé to Vanitas: Vanitas does struggle to understand his emotions throughout the story, that includes love. Vanitas is a broken individual, has too many wounds/trauma Noé cannot ignore and for a long time, was fueled by getting his “revenge”. Thus he’s forgotten what it means to live. You can also read into “doesn’t know the definition of alive” in a meta sense, from the beginning of the story he’s already dead.

And the very name ‘Vanitas’ is surrounded with the imagery of death, futility and mortality. So yes, Vanitas as a concept doesn’t know what ‘alive’ is.

Noé to himself: Noé as well is trying to figure out human emotions. This is a case study of a human after all. The memoirs follow Noe’s journey in understanding Vanitas’ thinking. And we’ve had Noé blatantly ask Vanitas what love means. But we can read this as Noé , sort of telling his past self that one day he will understand and feel this pain. Take note of “many wounds have left you patched together”. As I said, he could be talking about how “fragile” Vanitas is but what if this is about himself?

/No need to say “just the two of us” or anything/

/I have a feeling we can understand each other/

/And that’s fine for now/

This is calling to the Catacombs Arc, where Vanitas repeats Noe’s line of being able to do anything together. Interesting enough, it’s that arc where we see a bit of Vanitas’ backstory and it ends with the two sitting against each other. An understanding has been reached. Of course we all know that’s what VnC is about but of course he adds the ‘for now’ because what would this show be without its looming doom.

/I love this world and the light only you give me/

/Makes the world I see through these fractured eyes/

/Look gleaming and bright/

It’s these verses that made me want to spend more time on this. First of all, ‘I love this world’, a little weird right? I can only hope this translation is the most accurate but we’re saying ‘this’ instead of ‘the world’. Makes it sound like “I like this one. I prefer this one.” And ‘the light only you give me’ is very odd if we’re saying this is from Noe’s POV. Emphasis on ONLY.

Another reason why I believe it’s future Noé singing because why would present Noé say Vanitas is the only light he has? Vanitas is the only thing keeping him from falling apart. Vanitas being the sole reason Noé loves the world…doesn’t line up with the Noé we’re seeing now. Now it could be Vanitas is a “special” light. But that kinda raises more alarms because Vanitas is very admired in this song guys. And present Noé I feel wouldn’t be so sure in proclaiming this. The world being seen through fractured eyes could be multiple things. We know Noé sustained an injury on his left eye when Teacher bought him.

This could feed into a theory that has been speculated over the years that Noe’s vision was permanently altered and he sees things from that eye differently. Of course, it could refer to future Noe’s perception of life being broken due to the events of the series. Thus why Vanitas is the one thing that makes it gleaming and bright. You could then ask “But Vanitas is gone in the future so how is that possible?” In comes my theory. It’s interesting how Noé is often associated with light, the sun etc. but here we see him give those characteristics to Vanitas’ presence.

/There’s no such thing as a sure thing/

/But you can see me can’t you?/

Things get a little fuzzy here. Obviously, nothing is sure, nothing lasts forever. This period of happiness will pass. But “you can see me”. Assuming this world is a memory, this could be Noé being elated from seeing Vanitas. That his plan has worked. But you can also interpret this, I forgot who pointed it out but ty whoever you are, that this is the one moment Vanitas interjects in the song. Essentially saying, “you can see me, so this is not real.” As if trying to wake Noé up. And if you look at the OP itself, for most of it Vanitas is following or lagging behind Noé like a ghost. There’s even a part where Noé is looking at a drawing of a view instead a real one, Vanitas is yelling at him, trying to get his attention and Noé ignores him completely. Not to mention the OP starts and ends with Noé sleeping, Vanitas nor his belongings ever in the room almost as if it was all a dream hmmm.

You can see this also as Noé acknowledging the world he has created is only temporary. Noé knows this isn’t real, isn’t a sure thing. But then Vanitas comes in to be like “you can see me, can’t you. So is it that bad?”

/I’m pondering the simple things, pretty much emptiness and frigidity/

/One by one lies have increased/

/Playing with a simple puppet/

/My rusted head is shaking/

We’ve contrasted “human emotions and love” with “emptiness and frigidity” here. Frigid here means the bitter cold, stiff, lacking in warmth. The opposite of what Noé says this world gives him so safe guess, he’s talking about the reality he is escaping. Where Vanitas is dead as well as a lot of his friends. The lies have built upon each other, adding to my theory where the numerous times Noé has done this has created layers upon layers of worlds. And each one has more inaccuracies than the last. This is his story, a play, he is the writer and the puppeteer of everyone’s roles. When they appear, what they say and do is decided by what Noé writes in the memoires. But by all the loops he’s made himself a puppet too. His head being rusted could hint at many, many years passing since everything happened. What’s even more interesting is remember, Vanitas is the one usually associated with cold and emptiness. So why is Noé assigning those things to his thoughts? It really shows how future Noé has come to view Vanitas vs himself. Because ignoring any theories or whatever for a second, future Noé is clearly burdened with regrets and hate towards himself.

/Your laughing was reflected by a daydream/

/Without knowing yet we just want to laugh/

/Throw away the answer, whatever you want is fine for now/

We circle back to the dream thing again. What is a daydream? It’s something you fantasize about when you are bored or in need of a distraction. A reflection looks and behaves exactly like you, copies your movements, but is it real? We all know mirrors and reflections play a major role in the story. Whether having mirrors or frames in official art or volume covers. Characters reflecting each other like Vanitas/Astolfo, Domi/Louis, Ruthven/Noé etc. I think the “throw away the answer” is interesting, it could be Noé again knowing what the “right” thing to do is but is desperate to see Vanitas laugh. Feels very much like a “oh forget about all that, what do you wanna do?” Noé putting other people before himself and being selfless to a fault.

/I love this world that lacks everything/

/If the mechanical echoes/

/Everything seems to be laughable/

/I can’t be proud of it/

/But isn’t the burning dream beautiful/

Why would you love a hollow world? This is Noé saying this. How can a world lack everything if it’s meant to be real? Unless it isn’t. Unless it lacks what you truly desire even if you claim to love it regardless. Echoes fall into the same vein as reflections I brought up previously. ‘Mechanical’ implies it’s a machine, tying back to it being empty and hollow. Lacking realness. And it’s funny, Noé says he’s not proud of it. His world, his creation if you will. That it’s laughable even but then goes on to call it beautiful. Think about that for a minute. The dream is burning because Vanitas will always die no matter what Noé does. Everything will go up in flames, it’s only temporary but guess what? To Noé, this fleeting period of happiness is far better than whatever he has left when he wakes up.

/When the sky and the void meet look back because the dreams will come later/

/When the sky and the void meet look back be still in bloom/

/When the sky and the void meet born and die repeatedly/

/The future and lies break and laugh/

We’ll stop here because the song then goes back to the first chorus “I love this world and the light you give me” stuff. This part of the OP I would say is the most vague, you can read this a lot of ways. However you want to interpret it, there is a clear loop going on. We can see “sky and void” as metaphors for Vanitas and Noé. Personally I’d say Noé is the void because of that official art that has Vanitas with a clear sky in the background and Noé is sinking into the darkness. Similar to when he drinks someone’s blood and sees their memories.

But while Vanitas has a few purple butterflies, Noé is given that distinct glowing blue butterfly. Vanitas is Noe’s light. We talk about that art for hours but that's for another day. Plus given how Noé talks in this song, it’s safe to say he sees himself as the void. And once they meet the dreams will come later, to be born and die repeatedly. Meeting could be their actual meeting from chapter one and the cycle/memory world begins from there. It could be wherever fuck they were when Noé failed to grab Vanitas’ hand. The future and lies….what lies? Who my dear readers would be lying to us :000. But eventually that mountain of lies will come tumbling down.

And, no theory just pure delulu I’ve always headcanoned that when Vanitas dies Noé is going to break out laughing. So if that happens the op spoiled it.

[miskamix]

Young Love [Chapter 2]

I forgot to add TW's on the last chapter but i don't think it needs any

TW: Smut, my horibble writen smut, alcohol??, idk tell me if i need to add more ig

You can read all the chapters i've made so far on my wattpad

https://www.wattpad.com/1378942229-young-love-chuuya-x-reader-x-dazai-chapter-2

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Y/N's POV:

After a few hours i finish unpacking my stuff and check the clock on my phone. "its only 16:34?" i say to myself 'might as well go buy myself some food since i don't wanna eat chuuya's or dazai's food' 

When i walk out of my room is see chuuya and dazai have changed their outfits 'are they going on a date or something?' "where are you two going?" i ask them.

"Oh! Hey Y/N, me and Chuuya are going on a date so we will be gone for a few hour!" Dazai says happily. "oh nice, i was just about to go get some food for myself" i say and start to put on my shoes. 

For some reason when i bend down i feel like someone is watching me from behind but i don't think much of it.

A few hours later

I'm just laying in my bed and listening to music while pretending to be in edits and also singing along to some songs.

When ever my favorite songs come on i start dancing or just walking around in my room. "Bernadette, You are my liberty. I celebrate the day, That you changed my history. Oh, life and death. Will always lead you into love and regret. But you have answers, And I have the key For the door to Bernadette~" i sing praying to god that Chuuya and Dazai aren't home yet, because 1, that would be embarrassing and 2, i don't have the prettiest singing voice in the world.

After the song ends i lay back down in my bed waiting for the next song to come on, but realize that my headphone are dead "aw man.." i say and start looking for the changer to the headphones.

Dazai POV: (3rd person)

Dazai and Chuuya are sitting at a bar drinking. (its around 23:00pm btw) 

"Chuuya~ you really shouldn't be drinking this much~ you know you can handle your liquor~" Dazai teases him. "Shut up! i can handle my alcohol very well!"  Chuuya says and chugs down a glass of wine. "oh lord" Dazai says and sees that hes starting to get drunk. 

Suddenly Chuuya gets up and goes over to the karaoke area of the bar, picks up the microphone and starts singing his heart out.

Dazai is giggling and recording the whole thing for later blackmail.

After a while everyone starts leaving because the bar is closing. "Chuuya, baby its time to get you home" Dazai says and picks up the drunk Chuuya.

Y/N's POV:

When i walk back into my room after getting myself some water from the sink i hear Rasputin playing and a young man yelling "COME ON FYODOR, YOU CAN DO IT!!" from the dorm next mine. 'i guess someone's having fun' i think and chuckle to myself. 

I put my glass of water on my bedside table and sit down on my bed and look out the window.

(this what the room looks like with a bigger window and more room + some of you're own thing)

While looking out at the dark street, i see Dazai and Chuuya walking back, or more like Dazai is carrying Chuuya on his shoulders. "he's probably drunk or something" i say to myself.

I put on my headphones and start watching something on my computer.

after sometime i go to the kitchen to get water but stop as my jaw drops 'WHAT. THE. FUCK!?' i think as i see Dazai and Chuuya making out in the kitchen. I almost drop my glass "okay i think its time for me to go to bed, i can't deal with this anymore" i say as i walk back to my room, praying they didn't notice me.

As i walk into my room i turn of the lights and start taking of my clothes, going to bed in only my bra and panties. 

As i try to sleep i hear Dazai and Chuuya going into their bedroom to probably have sex or something, i feel myself start to get pretty horny from just listening to them. 

I just lay there listening to them. I feel myself get flustered hearing what i believe is Dazai's cute moans and whimpers as Chuuya fucks him.

Dazai POV:  

"AH~ hm~ chuuya!~" i moan like a slut as is Chuuya fucks me from behind, and choking me. "fuck, such a slutty boy you are~" Chuuya says in my ear as i cry from the pleasure. 

"please~ i'm a good boy!~ please be gentle~" i plead as the pleasure becomes to much to bare "please let me cum..!~ i'm so close chuuya~" i cry into my pillow.

"No~ not yet, little slut~" Chuuya's thrusts get much faster and rougher, and it's hard for me to not cum right then and there. "p-please!~ Chuuya..!~" i cry and feel his teeth bite my neck.

"cum." Chuuya says in a commanding voice and i cum all over the bed. " good boy~" Chuuya says and kisses my forehead. "you did so well little slut~" he whispers "but its not over yet~" 

Y/N's POV:  

After what feels like forever they finally stop whatever they were doing. I check my phone and see its 5:23 am. "four hours!? damn they are like bunnies in heat.." i say as i try to sleep again.

Next morning: (Y/N POV) 

The next morning i come out of my room looking like shit. when i walk into the kitchen i see Dazai hugging Chuuya from behind while he cooks.

"Next time try to not wake up the whole campus with all of your noises" i say to them in a pissed voice while i make myself some coffee. They both turn to look at me in surprise. "what..?" Chuuya says while nervelessly laughing. "if you're gonna have sex don't be so fucking loud" i walk back to my room while they just look at me in shock, they both must have forgot i was in the apartment and didn't think to try to be quiet. 

After drinking my coffee i start to put on my clothes. 

'looks nice' i smile while looking at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a white dress shirt, a black jean skirt that goes to my ankles with a slit at the bottom reveling my legs(it can be pants to if you want) a  black west with white stripes and black leggings with small heart on them.

When i walk out of my room i see Dazai and Chuuya eating breakfast, 'that looks kinda good' i think to myself as i put my shoes on.

"aren't you gonna eat something before you leave?" i flinch as i hear Dazai talk to me. "a-ah, no i don't eat breakfast, it makes me want to throw up" Dazai looks at me "okay.." he says as i walk out of the dorm. 'phew' i think as i walk down the hall.

"COME ON FYODOR! CAN WE PLEASE GET ANOTHER RAT?! RATATOUILLE NEEDS A FRIEND!" I hear the same young man from last night yell again. 'isn't that the one who yelled "you can do this fyodor!!" last night?' i think. 

When i turn a corner i see a tall man with white long hair in a pig tail and a scar on one of his eyes, a man with pale skin and black hair to his shoulders and a man with a Christmas tree looking hairstyle and his hair being half white, half purple. 'What the actual fuck is that hairstyle' i think as i look at the poor man. 

All three of them notice that i'm looking at them and the white haired speaks "Oh, hey! you must be new here!" he says and runs up to me "uh.. yeah i am.." i say. "i'm Nikolai, Nikolai gogol!" the white haired man says. "this here is Fyodor, my dear friend!" he says and points at the black haired man. 'the way he said dear seems like they are more then friends' 

"and this one here is Sigma!" Nikolai points at the white and purple haired man. 'there's no fucking way is his name Sigma'. "uh.. i'm Y/N" i say. "hello Y/N, its nice to meet you" Fyodor says in a thick Russian accent and shakes my hand with his cold one. "its nice to meet you too" i smile "i think i heard you guys last night, you guys were playing Rasputin" i laugh.

"OH! yeah we were playing just dance!" Nikolai says happily. I look at Sigma who looks a bit nervous. "uhh.. sorry if we bothered you last night.!" he says. 'poor man' i think 'he probably lost a bet to that Nikolai guy and had to get that haircut'. 

"Oh, no i didn't bother me at all, it made me happy to know someone was having fun" i smile at him. "oh.. okay" he smiles back.

Nikolai goes back to begging Fyodor to get another rat and i walk up to Sigma. "Y/N" i reach out my hand for him to shake "Sigma" he says while shaking my hand. "not to be rude or anything, but is Sigma your real name? isn't it a Greek letter?" i ask "..its not actually my real name.. i have amnesia and forgot my real name.. so i just use that.." he says while scratching the back of his head. "oh i'm so sorry! that must have sounded rude!" i say while panicking a bit "no! its okay! really, a lot of people ask me that, so i don't find it rude anymore" he says trying to reassure me.

'phew' i think. "uhh.. do you want to be friends or something..? i don't really have any friends at the moment.." i ask him "sure" he smiles at me.''

"so.. how long have you been friends with Nikolai and Fyodor?" i ask "about 3 years" he says. i smile at him. "oh, can i have your phone number? you don't have to if you don't want to!" he says "yeah, here its xxxxxxxx" i smile at him. "thanks mine is xxxxxxxx" he says.

"ooo~ is Sigma getting himself a partner?~ its about time~" Nikolai teases him. "WHAT!? NO! WE ARE JUST FRIENDS!" Sigma starts blushing and he feels embarrassed. "Sure~" Nikolai teases him more. "uhh.." i feel a bit uncomfortable, since i'm not really looking to be in a relationship. All of the past relationships i've been have quite toxic or abusive, so i don't really trust anyone anymore. 

"Are you okay Y/N..? you look a bit uncomfortable.. did what Nikolai say make you uncomfortable..?" Sigma asks me "huh? oh, no! not at all! its just that its weird for me to be teased! thats all!" i lie. 

"oh okay.." Sigma says and we start walking somewhere. "so do you want to go somewhere today to get to know each other better?" Sigma asks "sure" i smile.

(i hope yall liked this chapter👉👈 i didn't really have any ideas for this chapter lol. also please give me some ideas for the next chapter, idk what to write in it)

[marichive]

𝐒𝐍𝐎𝐖 : 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

Writing / roleplay prompts collected from the POV chapters of Jon Snow in A Storm of Swords , the third book of the ASOIAF saga. Feel free to adjust pronouns / etc. as needed.

tw: dark & mature themes, death, violence, suggestive / sexual content

❝ I am dead to the world. ❞

❝ Might be you fooled the others, but don’t think you’ll be fooling him. ❞

❝ He’ll take one look at you and know you’re false. ❞

❝ In your hearts you all want to fly free. ❞

❝ And when I’m free, will I be free to go? ❞

❝ It’s dangerous being free. ❞

❝ He has a wolfish cast to him, now as I look close. ❞

❝ They don’t care much for that beast of yours. ❞

❝ They’re dogs and he’s a wolf. ❞

❝ They know he’s not their kind. ❞

❝ We’ll make camp here. ❞

❝ We’ll gut him after. ❞

❝ These two are more dangerous by far. ❞

❝ He slew him with his own hand. ❞

❝ Spin yourself around, might be you’d find who you’re looking for. ❞

❝ How . . . how could you know? ❞

❝ That’s a tale for later. ❞

❝ How did you like the song? ❞

❝ What does it matter, for all men must die. ❞

❝ It was his doing more than mine. ❞

❝ He was my enemy, but also my brother, once. ❞

❝ Shall I thank you for killing him? Or curse you? ❞

❝ Thank me for killing your enemy, and curse me for killing your friend. ❞

❝ If you would join us, you’d best know us. ❞

❝ Treat her like you would any queen. ❞

❝ She is carrying my child. ❞

❝ This beauty is her sister. ❞

❝ The man beside her is her latest pet. ❞

❝ I am no man’s pet. ❞

❝ Where did you come from? ❞

❝ Who told you where we were? ❞

❝ Some day try thinking before you speak. ❞

❝ That’s why he’s king and I’m not. ❞

❝ I would speak with him alone. ❞

❝ I eat in no hall where I’m not welcome. ❞

❝ Sit if you like. Are you hungry? ❞

❝ I would be pleased to eat. Thank you. ❞

❝ Take care not to play tricks with me. ❞

❝ I promised you a tale before, of how I knew you. ❞

❝ Have you puzzled it out yet? ❞

❝ I knew your face. I’ve seen it before. ❞

❝ That can’t be so. ❞

❝ I wanted to see him with my own eyes. ❞

❝ The Wall can stop an army, but not a man alone. ❞

❝ Freeriders and hedge knights are always attaching themselves to royal processions. ❞

❝ I know every bawdy song that’s ever been made. ❞

❝ I did not steal either of your sisters that I recall. ❞

❝ Once I’d eaten at his board I was protected by guest right. ❞

❝ The laws of hospitality are as old as the First Men, as sacred as a heart tree. ❞

❝ Here you are the guest, and safe from harm at my hands . . . this night, at least. ❞

❝ Is there another reason that brings you to my tent? ❞

❝ Weigh every word before you speak it. ❞

❝ The wildling blood is the blood of the First Men, the same blood that flows in the veins of the Starks. ❞

❝ My lady is blameless. ❞

❝ I have a great fondness for the charms of women. ❞

❝ There are men still wearing black who have had ten times as many women. ❞

❝ It was the greatest treasure she had, and her gift to me. ❞

❝ I left for a place where a kiss was not a crime, and a man could wear any cloak he chose. ❞

❝ There is only one tale that he might believe. ❞

❝ Big enough for you? ❞

❝ Giants have no kings. ❞

❝ What did you say to him? ❞

❝ Was that the Old Tongue? ❞

❝ Now why would you doubt a mighty man like me? ❞

❝ It was winter and I was half a boy, and stupid the way boys are. ❞

❝ How did you come by your other names? ❞

❝ She has a temper on her, that one, but oh, she can be warm too. ❞

❝ In the deep of winter a man needs his warmth. ❞

❝ The more I drank the more I thought about her. ❞

❝ Would that I could find her again. ❞

❝ Why refuse her? She’d hardly give you any fight at all, seems to me. ❞

❝ The girl wants you in her, that’s plain enough to see. ❞

❝ I am a man of the Night’s Watch. ❞

❝ Cold water is better if you’ve got someone to warm you up after. ❞

❝ A little ice won’t kill you. ❞

❝ Do you mislike the girl? ❞

❝ I am still too young to wed. ❞

❝ Wed? Who spoke of wedding? ❞

❝ Must a man wed every girl he beds? ❞

❝ I would not dishonor her. ❞

❝ What dishonor if you lay together? ❞

❝ I might get her with child. ❞

❝ A strong son or a lively laughing girl, where’s the harm in that? ❞

❝ The child would be a bastard. ❞

❝ I will not father a bastard. ❞

❝ I swear, I’ve never touched her. ❞

❝ I will kill him if I must. ❞

❝ We need not slay a thousand, only one. He is all that keeps them together. ❞

❝ Why are you weeping? It was only a song. ❞

❝ You know nothing. ❞

❝ You should never have lied to me. ❞

❝ I am fast losing patience with you. ❞

❝ You’ll find a use for him, or you’re a fool. ❞

❝ I never asked you to lie for me. ❞

❝ Deeds are truer than words. ❞

❝ We look up at the same stars and see such different things. ❞

❝ We have to part. Do you understand? ❞

❝ You cannot come with me. ❞

❝ Two hearts that beat as one. ❞

❝ I have no choice. ❞

❝ If I refuse her, she will know me for a turncloak. ❞

❝ I am playing the part I was told to play. ❞

❝ Isn’t that good? ❞

❝ I had to do it once, to prove I’d abandoned my vows. ❞

❝ I had to make her trust me. ❞

❝ Even my father stumbled once, when he forgot his marriage vows and sired a bastard. ❞

❝ It will never happen again. ❞

❝ If only it were that easy. ❞

❝ If you lie to me, I will have your tongue. ❞

❝ If all of them behaved like him, it would be easier to betray them. ❞

❝ An old woman, am I? ❞

❝ You’re older than me. ❞

❝ I want you to see me. ❞

❝ We shouldn’t ─ ❞

❝ If you want to look you have to show. ❞

❝ I know I want you. ❞

❝ I love the smell of you. ❞

❝ I love your hair. ❞

❝ I love your mouth, and the way you kiss me. I love your smile. ❞

❝ I love your legs, and what’s between them. ❞

❝ If you love me all so much, why are you still dressed? ❞

❝ That thing you did. With your . . . mouth. Is that what lords do to their ladies? ❞

❝ You seemed to like it. ❞

❝ There’s been no one. Only you. ❞

❝ If this is so wrong, why did the gods make it feel so good? ❞

❝ He’s a ruler, not a raider. ❞

❝ No wall can keep you safe. ❞

❝ A wall is only as strong as the men who defend it. ❞

❝ How long can they keep on with that? ❞

❝ Why are you crying? ❞

❝ We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the Old Gods watch over us. ❞

❝ Even the promise of land will not lure men north with a winter coming on. ❞

❝ What’s wrong with flowers? ❞

❝ A man can own a woman or a man can own a knife, but no man can own both. Every little girl learns that from her mother. ❞

❝ He cannot win this war. ❞

❝ They fight with reckless courage, every man out for glory. ❞

❝ When it comes to battle, discipline beats valor every time. ❞

❝ You’re mine. Mine, as I’m yours. ❞

❝ If we die, we die. All men must die, but first, we’ll live. ❞

❝ Is this a trick to get the clothes off me? ❞

❝ Do I need a trick for that, now? ❞

❝ I have never seen a dragon. ❞

❝ The last dragons died a hundred years ago or more. ❞

❝ I will fall into those eyes and drown. ❞

❝ You were wrong to love her. ❞

❝ You were wrong to leave her. ❞

❝ Your leg is drenched in blood. ❞

❝ You’re white as milk, and burning hot besides. I’m taking you to the maester. ❞

❝ You must tell me all you’ve seen and done. ❞

❝ Who was it? Who turned on him? ❞

❝ We should have seen it coming. ❞

❝ He is bringing milk of the poppy. ❞

❝ She’s warm and smart and funny and she can kiss a man or slit his throat. ❞

❝ I broke my vows with her. I never meant to, but . . . ❞

❝ I will not scream. ❞

❝ Be gentle with yourself. ❞

❝ You must give yourself time to heal. ❞

❝ He doesn’t know. ❞

❝ Much and more happened while you were away. ❞

❝ I can fight. ❞

❝ Your leg’s healed, is it? ❞

❝ You’ll find nothing here but death. ❞

❝ Bastards are wanton and treacherous by nature, having been born of lust and deceit. ❞

❝ It does not matter how brave or brilliant a man is if his commands cannot be heard. ❞

❝ What gods do you pray to? ❞

❝ He may be pretty, but he’s quick. ❞

❝ A man is never so vulnerable in battle as when he flees. ❞

❝ The battle’s done. The maester will see to you. ❞

❝ You’re kissed by fire, remember? Lucky. ❞

❝ It will take more than an arrow to kill you. ❞

❝ We’ll get you some milk of the poppy for the pain. ❞

❝ We should have stayed in that cave. ❞

❝ You’re not going to die. You’re not. ❞

❝ There is no place for you here. Go away. ❞

❝ We will fight a battle, and then we’ll rest. Alive or dead, we’ll rest. ❞

❝ I want a fire, a hot meal, a warm bed, and something to make my leg stop hurting. ❞

❝ You. You must lead. ❞

❝ It must be you or no one. ❞

❝ It’s good that he can make a jape of it. Someone has to. ❞

❝ The child must be coming very soon. ❞

❝ I will hear these explanations for myself. ❞

❝ Do you deny that you took her into your bed? ❞

❝ Did you think my skull was stuffed with cabbage? ❞

❝ I don’t know what your skull is stuffed with, My Lord. ❞

❝ I know what it is to be betrayed by men you trusted. ❞

❝ I made a botch of that. ❞

❝ I have decided to give you one last chance to prove you are as loyal as you claim. ❞

❝ The hottest fires burn out the quickest. ❞

❝ The joining works both ways, warg. ❞

❝ Sorcery is a sword without a hilt. There is no safe way to grasp it. ❞

❝ You can kill your enemies, but can you rule your friends? ❞

❝ You knew nothing of this, did you? ❞

❝ You best get back inside the tent. ❞

❝ It’s as they say. This is his true queen. ❞

❝ You are not cold, My Lady? ❞

❝ The lord’s fire lives within me. Feel. ❞

❝ That is how life should feel. Only death is cold. ❞

❝ You are a warg, they say, a skinchanger who walks at night as a wolf. ❞

❝ How much of it is true? ❞

❝ Your father was no friend of mine, but only a fool would doubt his honor or his honesty. ❞

❝ You have his looks. ❞

❝ I know more than you might think. ❞

❝ He trusted too easily, else he would not have died as he did. ❞

❝ She and the babe did not require much capturing. ❞

❝ She wants to bring his son to him. ❞

❝ Why should I do him a kindness? ❞

❝ You are fond of her? ❞

❝ I scarcely know her. ❞

❝ They tell me she is comely. ❞

❝ Beauty can be treacherous. ❞

❝ I was trying to win the throne to save the kingdom, when I should have been trying to save the kingdom to win the throne. ❞

❝ There is where I’ll find the foe that I was born to fight. ❞

❝ His name may not be spoken. ❞

❝ It may be that this is your war as well, if you will give me your help. ❞

❝ I need more than a sword from you. ❞

❝ I need the North. ❞

❝ I loved my brother. ❞

❝ The castle can be rebuilt in time. ❞

❝ It’s not the walls that make a lord, it’s the man. ❞

❝ Your men do not know me, have no reason to love me, yet I will need their strength in the battles yet to come. ❞

❝ A king can remove the taint of bastardy with a stroke. ❞

❝ When the cold winds rise, we shall live or die together. ❞

❝ It is time we made alliance against our common foe. Would you agree? ❞

❝ The surest way to seal a new alliance is with marriage. ❞

❝ This match is necessary, to help assure the loyalty of our new subjects. ❞

❝ Are you refusing me? ❞

❝ This has all come very suddenly. Might I beg you for some time to consider? ❞

❝ I thought I had forgotten that. ❞

❝ Why am I so angry? ❞

❝ I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. ❞

❝ I have always wanted it. ❞

❝ He belongs to the Old Gods, this one. ❞

❝ A warg walks among us, brothers. ❞

❝ This beastling is not fit to live! ❞

❝ You’re all a bunch of mad foods, do you know that? ❞

❝ I think you’re going to need a lot of wine. ❞

[cabeswaterdrowned]

assigned each TTPD track to trc/td3 chars/pairings because I was bored.  

Main Tracks

•Fortnight — post TDT & BLLB era Bluesey. not every lyric fits perfectly but the tone/overall subject (requited but forbidden love, especially the implication it’s both literally forbidden (other people involved/kiss curse) and self imposed forbidden (they’re from two different worlds and need to bridge that gap) is so them, pining and yearning, Literally “we can pretend this once then never speak of it again” and then mourning that as they try and keep their distance, also the “your wife waters flowers I want to kill her” bit in my head is Blue being jealous of Henry when she meets him. It makes sense. To me. Primarily a Blue pov song and then the Post Malone bits can be Gansey. 

•The Tortured Poets Department — The Gray Man x Maura, The Gray Man’s post TDT break up anthem. When you give up your hit man life for a woman and she runs off to a cave to find her ex boyfriend, a tree! Will really mess up an Anglo Saxon Poetry lover.

•My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys — DC Party Adansey from both their povs, Adam fearing Gansey only can value him as a possession and can’t love him in a way that Adam would want and Gansey fearing Adam secretly hates him + his heart breaking when Adam smashes the figurines. But the bridge is very Adam pov “I felt more when we played pretend than with all the Kens” Adam’s relationship with projection and both hating Gansey’s facade and being infatuated with and attracted to it, also there are so many ways they pretend seperately and together. 

•Down Bad — Pynch, first verse and chorus definitely Ronan pov in trc, the second verse and chorus as Adam pov in mi then after that could be both of them although still would lean more Ronan pov for the vibes. 

•So Long, London — Noah song. A lot of it could be his pov talking to Whelk, but then the friends he’s referring to could be the Gangsey and the Gangsey pov could be the final chorus saying goodbye to him. 

•But Daddy I Love Him — Niall x Mor. Niall’s pov as he tries to get his mother/his family to accept that he loves Mor. 

•Fresh Out The Slammer — Jordeclan. Self explanatory. 

•Florida!!! — at first I was going to give this one to Blue because of some of the themes about feeling conflicted about your hometown, then I wanted to make it a Hennessy song because some lyrics really fit her, but then eventually I decided this is actually a song about The Fairy Market. Different parts could be from Hennessy Jordan and Declan’s pov and maybe a little bit from Mor’s and/or Henry’s. 

•Guilty as Sin? — this song has both Bluesey and Pynch vibes but to me it’s a Bluesey song overall. Blue pov, yearning for someone you can never touch it’s perfect… 

•Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? — Ronan song fits him in the first two trc books real well imo. In the second verse he’s addressing the Gray Man but he could be addressing a number of people from Declan to Kavinsky to Niall to Gansey throughout the song. 

•I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) — Maura Sargent and her terrible taste in men! First verse and chorus about Artemus and Calla and Persephone shaking their heads in the background, then the second time with The Gray Man Calla again shaking her head. 

•loml — Jordeclan, but specifically a Jordan pov song after Declan chooses death by fairy market over her could either say this is her thought process in a middle bit that we didn’t get to see or an au where Declan did die and/or she did leave him for a bit after this.

•I Can Do It With A Broken Heart — Adam song. I think you could read it as in the first verse / go of the chorus the “him” being referred to is Gansey post DC but then in the second verse/chorus it’s Ronan in mister impossible era. His whole thing with masking/not paying attention to his feelings through both series and literally “faking it to make it” at Harvard… I can pass this test… the tonally upbeat music and devastating lyrics. Soo him. 

•The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived — Rovinsky break up song. I think the first verse and chorus is K pov but the rest of the song is Ronan’s pov. 

•The Alchemy — another song with both Pynch and Bluesey vibes but this one I’m giving to Pynch overall. The whole high school relationship currently long distance but I’ll always come back to you thing. 

•Clara Bow — for a minute I thought I really would have to give up on making this one about trc, but then I thought about the whole theme of women mirroring each other Blue and Gwenllian and the tapestry of girls with Blue’s face, their literal mirror powers, the 300 fox way women and how you see something of all of them in Blue / she’s a product of them, Hennessy and her clones, Mor and Aurora. So yeah general vibes of that theme. 

Bonus Tracks 

•The Black Dog — Pynch divorce bop. Adam pov. 

• imgonnagetyouback — Bluedam, now you may be thinking that I’m just assigning this one because I already think get him back! by Olivia Rodrigo is a Bluedam song (see previous web weaving) and this song is just a worse version of that song, and you’d be right that’s why I’m saying it. 

•The Albatross — Bluesey. Gansey associating the color blue with death, learning Blue is his death, being fascinated by her and falling for her more and more the more he accepts his own death… 

• Chloe or Sam or Sofia or Marcus — this is all about romantic drama/a love square between Blue Henry Gansey and Adam, different parts of it are from Gansey or Adam’s pov primarily about each other but they refer to Henry or Blue at different points. The Adansey divorce to Sarchengsey to Chengsey divorce pipeline song essentially. 

• How Did It End? — Adansey!! literally “he was a hothouse flower to my outdoorsmen, our melodies were such we could not cure them” I won’t just go through every lyric but every lyric just screams Adanseycore, as many of her songs about divorce do. 

•So High School — Pynch. “You know how to ball I know Aristotle” referring to Ronan playing tennis is an especially fun aspect. 

• I Hate it Here — Adam, first verse and chorus could be DC party Adam and then as it goes on it’s Adam at Harvard thinking all the things he won’t say to the crying club, and then it’s Adam about Henrietta. 

•thanK you alMee — Declan song centered on his conflicted grief/hatred of Niall. 

 •I Look in People’s Windows — Adam observing the wealthy/people he envies. 

•The Prophecy — Blue song. Elements of Bluesey obviously but mostly about Blue who won’t let fate define her and is brave when she’s afraid, begging for a different fate for Maura when she’s missing for Gansey and Noah, for herself when she wants things from the future that seem impossible for so many reasons. “And I look unstable gathered with a coven around a sorceress table” so the bath tub scene with her and her mom and Aunts! 

•Cassandra — Gwenllian Glendower anthem! 

•Peter — Adam pov Adansey song 😭 I already made a web weaving explaining this and if I tried to again with words I’d throw up and die, but this is the most trc coded song on the album other than the prophecy. 

•The Bolter — Hennessy song. First verse refers to her childhood trauma, The chorus fits Jordanessy and their mi scene with the cars so well and the whole repeatedly dying thing is obviously very Mister Impossible plot coded and also the cyclical nature of her lace dreams are reflected here. 

•Robin — Adansey. “way to go tiger”. 

•The Manuscript — Blue x Henry pining era song post Sarchengsey divorce. 

[multifandomworldsposts]

Day 4 of Kinktober: Father Figure (Austin!Elvis Presley)

based on the song: father figure by George Michael

pairing: Austin!Elvis Presley x fem!reader

warning: making out, death threats, eating out, oral sex

Y/N’s POV

First of all I’m a dancer at the International Hotel and there’s always men watching the other dancers including me. Especially Elvis Presley, he comes in after his shows or when he’s staying at International for a while.

“Girls! Elvis is back!” Jessica says to the group of girls including me.

We all giggle, I wonder why he keeps on coming back?

A few girls danced their dance routine, I kinda peeked out to see where Elvis is at, he’s at a booth that close to the stage with a few men. He doesn’t look impressed at all.

“He’s out there but he isn’t impressed Joe.” I said to Josephine.

“Oh really? I’m scared about both of us now.” Josephine says.

“If he’s not impressed I wouldn’t care in the world about it.” I said to her.

“I’ll do that as well.” She smiles.

“You’re about to go on.” Robert says to me.

“Good luck Y/N/N!” Josephine says.

“Thank you!” I say back to her when I’m walking to the stage.

When the music starts, I dance to the music and notice Elvis, he looks impressed about me dancing, the men with him, they did the cat calls to me, holy shit.

When I went to the wings I can tell on every dancer’s face, he’s here to see me. But why me?

I’m getting ready to head out until Abigail walks up to me and gives me a card, it says,

“I’ve been seeing you dance for a while now and you’re beautiful, come to the booth where I was at with my buddies. - EP”

Oh god. Let’s just get this over with. I get to the booth where Elvis and the men were at and when Elvis turns and looks at me, I get butterflies, I’ve never seen him up close before.

“Hey beautiful.” He says with the most attentive voice I’ve ever heard from a man.

“Hi.” I said nervously.

“The Memphis Mafia and I have been thinking, you come to my hotel room and we’ll go from there.” He smirks.

I’m scared but ready. I join them to go up to Elvis’ hotel room, it’s beautiful! I look around the suite for a little bit, the grand piano looks gorgeous.

“It’s a Grand.” Elvis says making his drink.

“It is? It’s gorgeous.” I touch the top of the piano and looks at Elvis.

“Do you wanna play on it?” He suggests.

“Are you sure you want me to? I mean I suck at playing any piano.” I said to him.

“I want you to, everyone is good at something.” I walks up and puts his drink on top of the piano.

I sit on the chair and he sits next to me, he allows me to play first, I kinda sucked at it but he helps me. I keep looking at him, he notices me, I’ve never been so in love with someone before. He leans into kiss me, I gave in, he picks me up to put me on his couch, we make out. A little while the Memphis Mafia comes in catching us.

Ever since he’s been coming to see me dance more and more and he waits for me when I’m done dancing for the night, including when I’m done practicing for any night that the dancers and I have a show.

Sometimes the dancers suspect that I’m his slut and whore because on what we’ve been doing for a while. Even Josephine thinks that I’m his whore. I can’t believe that’s what everyone is thinking about.

I tell Elvis about it, he just wants to make me happy, so he told his crowd one night about me and he told me that people got pissed about it as well. I want to leave Las Vegas but I already can tell the news is going to be talking about me and I’ll just leave the country if I had to.

One day I just broke down, me getting pissed off at anything near me. That night, Elvis and I made love but something happens.

“Mmm baby.” Elvis moans while kissing me.

I gasp, he’s so good to me. He gets harder by the thrusts I feel inside me, I didn’t want him to stop. He starts giving me love bits on my body. I moan to every love bite he gave me. He goes done to my clit and starts to eat me out. I scream, I tug on his hair, fuck he’s good at this.

Several minutes go by and I made him stop fucking me, when looks down at me, he looks confused.

“Elvis, I can’t take this anymore.” I confess.

“What’re you mean?” He says.

“The rumors, the lies, and me getting death threats on people think I’m a slut and a whore because of us being together.” I said.

He just looks dumbfounded. I love him but I can’t stand people giving me these excuses for being with him.

“Y/N/N- I, you know that I love you and you mean the world to me, even the Memphis Mafia thinks that too.” He says.

God, I hate them so much, I’m not a whore!

“Elvis, can we not see each other in a while, I love you and all but I don’t want these rumors to be my life until the day I die.” I pet his hair.

“If that’s what you want, I won’t see you again.” He says.

“Once again, I love you but these things I’m hearing all over Vegas is tearing me apart.” I say to him.

“I love you too.” He whispered in my ear.

Eventually, the rumors died down and I feel much better! The dancers don’t think I’m a, slut and a whore, and no one is talking shit about me anymore. One night I danced and when I was dancing, I noticed Elvis watching me in the distance, I still love him no matter what but I don’t want to get death threats anymore.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Something Next to Normal Chapter 2

Chapter 1 on Tumblr

Summary:

Tim's having a regular day at school when a classmate ropes him into helping with the school play as the light technician. Tim agrees to one rehearsal, but his responsibilities as Robin keep him so busy. He knows he'll have to turn down the position. Then he learns what Next to Normal is about. A dead son, a mother who can't cope, a father struggling to keep everything together, and a forgotten daughter. Tim absolutely cannot do this. --- Alfred is proud of Tim for taking on an extracurricular. The boy spends so much time alone. Having an excuse to spend time with other students his age can only be good for him. He wants to go see the show, but Tim counsels against it. After looking it up, Alfred spends a night in sleepless grief. But when day comes and he's face-to-face with Tim, he realizes the living boy in front of him needs him and something has to change.

Chapter 2 word count: 4.9k

Content warnings: continuation of chapter 1. Discussions around loss and grief with an undercurrent of Bruce being a bad mentor to Tim.

We switch to Alfred's POV for this one which is another first for me. Hope you enjoy!

-----

“I am glad you decided to join the play, Master Tim.”

Alfred watched out of the corner of his eye as Tim shrugged and looked out the window of the car. “Yeah.”

Alfred sighed internally and wondered how else to get through to the boy. He was so much more reserved than either Dick or Jason had ever been. Tim kept quiet and made himself unobtrusive.

He was more similar to Bruce, but even Bruce had been opinionated and passionate as a child. He never held back his opinion, scathing though it may be.

“Perhaps Master Bruce and I could see one of the performances,” tried Alfred. “I believe you said they begin next month? What dates?”

Oddly, Tim seemed to tense at the question. “Oh, um. I don’t think that’s a good idea?”

Decorum, and the fact that he was driving, kept Alfred from furrowing his brow and examining Tim more fully. “I assure you, I’d be very interested in seeing your work. I enjoy musicals, whether put on professionally or not.”

“It’s not that…” started Tim before trailing off.

“Then why do you not wish for us to go?”

“I just. We’re doing a show called Next to Normal. Do you know it?”

Alfred hummed as he thought back. The name sounded somewhat familiar, but he’d certainly never seen it or listened to the soundtrack. “I’m afraid I do not.”

“It’s about… Just. Look up the summary. You don’t want to see it. And Bruce absolutely should not see it. It’s fine. But we perform the weekend before Thanksgiving, so I’m going to need Friday and Saturday off patrol that week. And maybe some evenings the week before depending on how long rehearsals run.”

“I’ll make sure to mark it in the calendar. How was the rest of your school day?”

Tim shrugged. “Fine.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Alfred let them fall into silence as he continued the drive to the manor. After a few minutes, Tim put in his headphones and tapped along to whatever he’d put on.

---

That night, after their patrol had ended and Tim had returned to his own house while Bruce climbed into bed, Alfred opened his computer and searched for the musical Tim had mentioned.

And realized instantly why Tim had said he and Bruce shouldn’t go. The musical was about a family struggling with the death of their son. The mother, especially, could not let the boy go.

Jason’s face danced behind his eyes as he read through the plot synopsis. “Master Jason,” he whispered. “Did you know what your death would do to this family?”

Alfred closed the page without listening to any of the songs and realized he agreed with Tim. He did not wish to see such a play. And it would be best if he did not mention anything about it to Bruce.

Besides, surely the boy’s parents would be back in town by then. It was just days before Thanksgiving after all, and they’d want to see what their son had been up to.

Mind made up, Alfred changed for bed and laid down for another restless night. One of many he’d had since Jason had been taken from them.

---

“Good night, Alfred!” called Tim as he prepared to leave the cave.

Alfred smiled at him and wished he could convince both Tim and Bruce that the boy should spend the night sometimes after patrol. He hated sending him away into the night alone. Even if he was just going next door. “Good night, Master Tim. Will your parents be worried about your late return?”

“Nah, they’re not home tonight.”

Alfred frowned. “Will they be returning tomorrow, then?”

Tim cocked his head. “I don’t think so, why?”

“To see your work for the school musical. Are they not interested in seeing what you’ve been working so diligently on this past month?”

Tim shrugged. “I mean, they are”—Alfred’s stomach sunk as he realized the boy was lying—“But work is keeping them busy. Can’t leave a dig site just to see some high school play.”

“I see.” Alfred did not see. Master Jason had been in one play, a small role as he had still been a sophomore, and Bruce had gone to all three performances the school put on. Everything else—Wayne Enterprises, the Justice League, even Batman—had been pushed to the side.

Tim, of course, didn’t know the direction of Alfred’s thoughts, and waved before leaving. Heading back to his empty house.

Once again, Alfred imagined leading him upstairs. Giving Tim a bedroom of his own and keeping him close and safe.

But then he looked over at Bruce.

Bruce was still in uniform, sitting before the bat computer. He hadn’t even looked up as Tim had left, let alone done something as cordial as say his own goodbyes.

“You could at least tell the boy ‘goodbye’ or ‘good night’ when he leaves,” scolded Alfred.

“He shouldn’t even be here. And the sooner he learns that, the better.”

“If you were more in control of yourself, perhaps he wouldn’t be here,” retorted Alfred. And the thought shot straight to his heart. Tim might not have been around long, but he’d wormed his way into their family just the same. His quiet presence in the dining room doing homework or researching cases was a balm on Alfred’s wounded heart.

Already, Alfred could not imagine life without his newest charge in it. But Tim was right, too. Bruce would not appreciate it if he spent the night.

Bruce barely wanted a Robin, he definitely wasn’t ready for another boy in the house. The odd night after Tim had received an injury on patrol was fine. But anything more permanent?

Still, Alfred couldn’t help but imagine himself bringing breakfast to a sleepy Tim who’d just come downstairs from his own bedroom. One day, perhaps, he’d be able to treat his newest charge the way he deserved.

The way his parents so clearly refused to.

Bruce had turned back to the computer screens, not interested in discussing Tim any more.

Alfred bit back a retort and retreated to his own rooms. Once more, he looked up the musical Tim’s school was putting on.

---

For the entirety of the next day, Alfred debated with himself. When he informed Bruce that he would not be making dinner that night and got in his car to drive to the school, he still wasn’t sure he’d actually make it inside the theater.

He sat as a stop light, mind still in turmoil, when the sign of a florist’s shop caught his eye. His blinker was on before he’d even finished reading the sign.

Due to Bruce’s issues, Tim hadn’t spent much time at the manor, but Alfred had gotten him to stick around a few times. Especially just before and after his European training tour. He’d come over to report to Bruce then stay for an afternoon with Alfred. The two had spent many a lovely hour in Alfred’s gardens.

Alfred pulled into the parking lot and entered the store. The attendant greeted him and asked if he required any assistance, but Alfred waved her off as he examined the premade bouquets.

The roses were proudly displayed front and center in every color. Tim had spent some time in Martha’s rose garden, but they’d never truly captured his attention the way they had Alfred’s.

In fact, one of the first questions Tim had asked had been which flowers were native and which were imported. Alfred had been almost ashamed to admit he’d planted flowers he’d loved as a child so most were of English and European descent.

Tim hadn’t said anything critical, but the hum he’d let out was as damning as any of Bruce’s.

The very next day, Alfred had asked if Tim would like to help him plan a new garden for the manor consisting solely of native plants. The boy’s eyes had lit up and he’d begun researching flower breeds on his phone immediately.

So when Alfred saw the small selection of bouquets featuring Black-Eyed Susans against a side wall, he didn’t hesitate to walk in that direction.

Only one bouquet combined the yellow of the susans with the red of coral honeysuckle and columbines. Enough greenery was mixed in with the flowers to fill it out very nicely—all native flowers in Robin’s colors.

Alfred didn’t even look at the price tag before taking it to the checkout counter.

“Oh, good choice!” said the cashier. “They’re all native flowers, you know.”

“I know,” said Alfred. “The person I’m getting them for has an appreciation for native plants over foreign ones.”

“So does Laura, the owner. She’s big into conservation and is so disappointed that people don’t tend to buy the native flowers as much.”

Alfred hummed and glanced down at his bouquet again. “Tell her she should consider labeling this the Robin Bouquet. Native flowers for a native hero, might entice more people to buy it.”

The girl’s eyes lit up. “Oh, that’s brilliant. I’ll absolutely let Laura know. Thanks!”

With a quick goodbye, Alfred resumed his trip to the school. Though he made a mental note to return to the florist in the future.

The closer he got to the school, the harder his heart beat. Would be actually be able to make it inside the building? When he pulled into a parking spot at the school, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Then he forced himself to let go of the steering wheel. A glance at the clock showed it was six forty-five. Fifteen minutes before the play would start. As he stared at the clock, a minute passed. Before he knew it, it was six fifty.

And so, not even ten minutes before curtain, Alfred strode into the school, bouquet clutched in his hand. Most everyone had already purchased their tickets so no one was still in line when he approached the table for one. He thanked the woman who gave it to him, but avoided interacting with anyone else.

When he entered the auditorium, he slipped into the back row. No one sat near him, to his relief.

Three minutes before seven, the lights dimmed and brightened and Alfred couldn’t help the fond smile. Tim really did take this seriously.

Then the play started.

Alfred cried. He knew he would. Dan’s song about struggling to help his wife cut deep.

But it was Natalie’s song that cut the deepest. It highlighted all his own failures in defending the newest addition to their family. Tim shouldn’t be forced to deal with Bruce’s moods, to manage him and keep him from killing himself.

When her mother told Natalie she loved her “as much as she can,” Alfred buried his face in his hands. Had they done anything to make Tim feel like anything other than a placeholder?

Alfred vowed, then and there, to take better care of the boy.

The musical continued, though. Natalie’s grief fading into Gabe’s ghost singing about how he was still alive. And Alfred couldn’t help but think of a closed door and a room that hadn’t been touched in months. Except for the times he caught Bruce sleeping in it.

Of the way Bruce’s eyes sometimes lit up if he saw Tim in the kitchen from his back, only to fall when he remembered Jason was dead. Alfred had only allowed it to happen twice before he started encouraging Tim to work anywhere but the kitchen.

By the time the musical had finished, Alfred’s handkerchief was wet with his tears. He kept his seat as the auditorium emptied around him before grabbing the flowers again and looking around for where the lighting office might be.

Which is when he saw a door only a few rows away open and Tim stepped out.

“Master Tim,” he called.

Tim stilled before turning to him slowly. “Alfred? What are you doing here?”

Alfred approached him and held out the flowers. “Because you have spent a month learning a new skill, and I wished to see you exhibit it. Excellent job, my boy. You did very well.”

Hesitantly, Tim reached out to take the flowers. “These are for me?”

“Of course. Flowers are traditional after a performance, are they not? And I remember you enjoyed these from our discussions this past summer.”

Tim seemed to notice what the flowers were for the first time. “Wait, these are black-eyed susans. And coral honeysuckle.”

“And columbines. All native flowers. And I thought the colors apropos.”

“Apro— what? What does that word mean?”

“It means fitting. That they are suitable to the current situation or conversation in some way.”

Tim nodded, but still didn’t look up from the flowers.

“Are you hungry? I know of an excellent diner nearby if you’d like to grab something with me. I must admit, I did not have dinner before leaving this evening.”

“Don’t you have to get back to the manor?”

Alfred sniffed. “I do believe Master Bruce can handle himself for one night. Tonight is about your achievements and I would like to celebrate them.”

Tim finally looked up at him, but the poor boy looked so confused. “I wasn’t on the stage. I really didn’t do that much.”

“My boy, without your work, we would not have been able to see anything that was done on that stage. Your contributions were vital to the experience.”

Alfred bit back a smile at the way Tim blushed and kicked the floor in embarrassment. “Thanks, Alfred.”

“Of course, Master Tim. Now, will you allow me to treat you to a late night dinner?”

“I— Okay. Yeah. That sounds nice. I just need to say bye to Mrs. V and return the key for the lighting room.”

“Very well. Take as long as you need; the diner is open twenty-four hours.”

Tim had Alfred wait with the flowers at the entrance to a hallway that led deeper into the school while he ran off to take care of everything he had to.

As soon has he returned, he shyly took the flowers back from Alfred. “Thanks again. You didn’t have to come. I hope the show wasn’t too awful for you.”

Alfred clicked his tongue and waved a hand dismissively. “Indeed not. I will admit it was a difficult show to watch at times, but I do believe it helped me realize a few things I had been neglecting. What was it Diana sang in the last song? I don’t have to be happy to be happy I came.”

Tim examined him for a moment, perhaps trying to see if he was lying. But after a moment, he nodded. “Okay. If you’re sure?”

Alfred wrapped an arm around Tim’s shoulders. “Indeed I am. Now come, let us get dinner.”

They sat in a corner booth, the diner nearly empty at this time of night. Tim was avidly reading every entry in the menu, biting his lip in concentration as he considered.

“Order whatever you like, Master Tim,” said Alfred, afraid Tim was trying to make a decision based on what would please Alfred rather than himself. “After all, tonight we are celebrating your achievements.”

“Oh?” broke in the voice of their waitress as she set two waters down on the table. “What are we celebrating tonight?”

Alfred smiled proudly at Tim. “This young man managed to learn how to operate the lighting equipment in his school’s auditorium in just one month so they could actually perform the musical. The previous student had to transfer suddenly, so he only had a week of training at that. And, as someone who has seen a number of professional performances, he did a wonderful job.”

“In just a month? You must be a very bright boy,” commented the waitress.

Alfred bit back a smile at how red Tim had turned as he mumbled his thanks and buried his face further into his menu.

“Well, I’ll give you boys a bit more time with the menus. But if you’re celebrating, I’ll let you know we’ve got some fantastic pancakes. Or, if you’re not interested in breakfast foods this late at night, our fried chicken sandwich is always a favorite.”

“Thank you, Ma’am,” replied Alfred. “We will certainly take your recommendations under advisement.”

Tim waited until she’d left before asking, “What should I order?”

Alfred frowned. “Why, whatever you want, Master Tim.”

“But my diet? To keep up with, you know.”

Alfred clicked his tongue. “My boy, celebrations are chances to break any diet. You may order whatever you like, however much sugar or fat it may contain. I will happily pay for anything on this menu.”

Tim raised an eyebrow at him. “Even if I only order dessert?” he challenged.

“Even if you only order dessert,” agreed Alfred.

Tim hummed and looked over his menu again. “All right.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes until the waitress returned to take their oder. Alfred ordered the chicken parmesan. He bit back a smile when Tim ended up going for the pancakes, covered in fruit and whipped cream and chocolate sauce.

When they were alone, Alfred asked, “Master Tim, I must ask, what is your favorite song from the show?”

Tim froze. “Oh, um. I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“Because I am curious. For myself, I don’t know if I have a favorite song, however, Dan’s song after Diana’s suicide attempt touched me deeply.”

“That one’s called ‘I’ve Been.’ Did you really like it?”

“Indeed. The young man who played Dan did a wonderful job of conveying his character’s devastation to the audience.” Though Alfred thought even if the boy hadn’t been a talented actor, he still would have failed to make it through the song without more tears.

Alfred could truly empathize with a person who continually pushed aside their own needs to help someone who was hurting more openly and destructively.

Tim grabbed his drink and took a long sip. “I… It was ‘Superboy and the Invisible Girl’ for me.”

Alfred’s stomach sank and he resisted the impulse to close his eyes in regret. Of course Tim related so strongly to Natalie. He’d seen the parallels himself while watching. They’d truly been ignoring Tim in favor of Bruce for the entire time the boy had been in their lives. “We truly do not deserve you, Master Tim.”

“What are you talking about, Alfred? You’ve been great.” He grinned, excitement clear, even if there was an undercurrent of confusion still lingering. “I still can’t believe you came tonight. I’ve never had someone come to my events before!”

And Alfred had to smile even as he felt his heart breaking. He vowed then and there that he would make more of an effort for Tim. “I wish I could have brought Master Bruce.”

But Tim just waved him off. “Oh, God no. That would’ve been a disaster! He’s been almost calm this past week. Only two hospitalizations. Seeing Next to Normal would’ve sent him spiraling again.”

Alfred wished he could refute the claim, but Tim was correct in his assessment. “And Master Bruce should be able to put his grief aside to support you the way you deserve. I am glad I was able to be there for you.”

Tim’s brows furrowed again. “I’m not his kid, though. He’s supposed to supervise my training, but that doesn’t include going to silly school plays or anything.”

“After everything you have done for him, both in and out of the suit, he should be doing the bare minimum to express an interest in your life. Has he even asked you a single question about the show?”

Tim shrugged and looked down. “He asked to know when and how rehearsals and performances would affect my nighttime availability.”

Alfred pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course he did. Well, let me offer my sincerest apologies on his behalf.”

“But why does it matter? I would’ve lied if he’d asked. Not like I’d actually tell him anything about the musical.”

“Be that as it may, he owed it to you to at least ask. And I shall be having words with him.”

“No! You can’t!” protested Tim, eyes wide with panic. “He’ll hate that.”

A creeping fear made it’s way up Alfred’s spine. “And what do you believe the consequences will be?”

Tim shrugged and didn’t say anything.

“Master— Chum. Please. What do you think Bruce will do should I speak to him?”

“He’s not going to do anything,” said Tim. Alfred couldn’t help but fear he was lying. “He’ll just start paying more attention and be harder on patrol. And things are going well right now.”

“How will he be harder on patrol?”

Tim shrugged again. “He won’t slow down so I can keep up. Then he’ll be mad I fell behind. He’ll keep a much closer eye on me and notice more of my mistakes. And I’m trying. But I know I’m not as good as J— as his previous protégés. So I keep not measuring up.”

The pit in Alfred’s stomach grew. How had he failed another boy so badly? Tim should not be worried about measuring up to Jason or Dick. He wasn’t them. And he was twice the detective either of them were, far more patient on stake-outs and he picked up on details both of them would have missed. “Listen to me, chum. If Master Bruce ever acts like that again, I want you to tell me. Immediately. Understood?”

Tim looked up in surprise. “What? Why?”

Alfred took a steadying breath. He did not want his anger to come out at all. Tim would likely not understand it wasn’t directed towards him. “Because Master Bruce should know better. You are doing a phenomenal job and I can only offer my most sincere apologies for not ensuring you knew that sooner.”

Before Tim could reply, their waitress returned with their food. “Anything else I can help you boys with?”

Alfred smiled at her. “I believe we are both quite satisfied, thank you. Everything looks positively delightful.”

She nodded and left.

“Why— why are you bringing this up now?” asked Tim after he’d taken a few bites.

“Because, my boy, I have been remiss in my duties.”

Tim shook his head vehemently. “No! You’ve been perfect.”

“Indeed I have not been. I love you, Tim. And I have done a rather poor job of showing you that.”

Tim’s fork fell from his hand and he stared at Alfred in open shock. “You— What?”

Alfred got out of his seat and knelt on the floor next to Tim’s side of the booth. He took Tim’s hand in his and smiled sadly up at the boy. “You came to me during my darkest hour and were a ray of light I could cling to. Tonight, I was confronted with my failures. I cannot change the past, but I swear to you, I will do better going forward. I love you, chum. No ‘as much as I can.’ Just, I love you. End of.”

For a moment, there was stillness between them as Tim stared at Alfred wide-eyed. But then his boy was barreling forward and sobbing into his chest. Alfred wrapped his arms tightly around Tim and held him close.

“Shh, my boy. It’s all right.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Alfred noticed the waitress approach. She mouthed, “Is he okay?” at Alfred.

Tim wasn’t, of course. None of them were okay, but he smiled wanly and mouthed back, “He will be.”

She nodded and silently backed away, leaving the two of them on the floor in the corner of the diner.

Alfred didn’t know what else to say to Tim. He’d never been skilled at comforting grieving boys, no matter how much practice he’d gotten over his long life. After a few moments, though, he became aware that mixed in Tim’s sobs were choked off apologies.

Alfred brushed a hand through Tim’s hair. “There is no occasion to apologize, my boy. Take as long as you need; I won’t leave you.”

Despite Alfred’s assurances, it wasn’t long before Tim stopped crying and was pulling away. He rubbed his eyes against his sleeve and stared at the ground. “Sorry to ruin dinner.”

Alfred clicked his tongue. “The food is still here. Mine even appears to still be warm. You have ruined nothing, my boy.”

Tim shrugged and climbed back into his side of their booth. Alfred bit back a sigh as he took his own seat.

They’d both sat in silence for a minute when the waitress bustled back over with a pitcher of water to top off their glasses. “Anything else I can get you both?”

Alfred declined. Tim looked down, though, and said, “I’m sorry for causing a scene, Ma’am.”

She tutted at him. “None of that now. You’re hardly the first person to cry in this diner, won’t be the last. Why, just the other week, I had a woman cry on me about her ex there at the counter.”

Tim stared at his hands and nodded, but didn’t say anything.

Their waitress hummed. “You know, though, we do have one rule.”

Tim’s eyes were wide as he looked up at her in alarm. Hesitantly, he asked, “What’s that?”

“If you cry, you get a free milkshake. So, what’s your poison, kiddo?”

Tim blinked in surprise. “What?”

Alfred smiled at the waitress gratefully, then nudged Tim’s foot under the table. “Looks like you’re getting even more sugar tonight. What milkshake do you want? I believe they have quite the selection.”

“Sure do. Obviously we have the three standard: chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. But there’s also mint, butterscotch, rocky road, black cherry. Or you can mix and match. My son loves chocolate mint.”

“Um, could I mix chocolate and strawberry, please?” asked Tim.

“Course, kiddo. Be right back.”

“Now, Master Tim,” said Alfred. He waited to continue until Tim was looking at him. “I believe you said your parents will not be back yet tonight.”

Tim shook his head. “No. They’re coming back Tuesday.”

Well, at least Tuesday was before Thanksgiving rather than after. “In that case, I must insist you come back to the manor with me tonight. I should much prefer to have you close.”

Tim’s eyes widened, and he vehemently shook his head. “I couldn’t! Bruce would be so mad.”

Alfred didn’t let his anger as his charge show. “I understand you concern. However, I did not mean that I would bring you to a room down the hall from Master Bruce where he should see you should you need to use the lavatory in the middle of the night or some such.”

“What?”

“I have a suite of rooms reserved for my own use. Master Bruce does not enter without permission and I am permitted to bring anyone I wish or do anything I wish to them. I have a second bedroom in my suite. If you will take it, it is yours.”

“Bruce really doesn’t go there?”

“Not once in his life has he come by without my express permission.”

Before Tim could answer, the waitress returned with his milkshake. “Everyone feeling better now?”

Tim smiled at her as he took it, his face picture-perfect in a way that must have been trained into him. “I am. Thank you for your concern.”

She laughed. “Such a serious boy! You just take care now, okay?” Then she turned to Alfred. “And you look out for him.”

“I intend to, Ma’am.”

“Very good. Then I’ll leave you boys to it.”

Tim took a sip of his milkshake as the waitress left. Once they were alone again, Tim asked, “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want you there, chum. I really will feel much better if I know you have a place in the manor you feel comfortable. And if you cannot feel that way with Bruce, I want you to feel that way with me.”

Tim stared at him a long moment, likely trying to detect any deceit in Alfred’s face. Whatever he saw must’ve satisfied him, because eventually Tim nodded. “Okay. I’d be happy to go home with you.”

Alfred couldn’t have stopped his smile if he’d tried. “Excellent! Currently, the furnishings are rather utilitarian. However, perhaps next weekend you and I can go out and purchase some things so that you might feel more comfortable.”

And back was that heartbreaking, wide-eyed stare. “You don’t have to go to any trouble for me, Alfred. I’m sure it’s just fine.”

“Nonsense. I want you to stay which means you must be comfortable. At the very least, you’ll want bedding that does not look like it was chosen by an old man. And I’m sure there’s some movie or band who’s poster you’d like to hang on your wall.”

It took all of Alfred’s skills, but he did get Tim to confirm his favorite colors at the very least. And he spent the rest of their meal discussing furniture options with his boy.

When they’d finished eating, down to the last sip of Tim’s milkshake, Alfred stood and held out his hand. “Let’s go home.”

And Tim grinned shyly up at him and took his hand.

-----

When I asked my friend @greensword101 to beta for me, he messaged me after reading that I did such a good job with the meaning behind the bouquet. I was surprised because I literally picked the flowers out based of their colors from a list of native Jersey flowers that @flipwizardstarlight (edit: fixed your username. Originally copied over your AO3 name by mistake) found. But, uh, he was right.

Black-Eyed Susans: In Native American folklore, the flower is regarded as a symbol of justice and truth. It is believed that the bright yellow and black petals of the flower represent the sun and the judgment of truth. Additionally, this flower is also considered a symbol of protection and can help ward off negative energy [source]. From another site: these flowers are considered a symbol of encouragement to stay strong and persevere during difficult times. They represent the idea of resilience and the ability to overcome obstacles [source].

And how perfect is that for Robin and Tim's Robin specifically? Totally unintentional.

The line from the musical that Alfred paraphrases actually goes, "And you find out you don't have to be happy at all,/ To be happy you're alive."

Which, just. Ouch.

Let me know what you think in the comments!

[epickiya722]

So Kiya, I just read a theory where they said that most likely in the end of JJK, Yuuji will die alongside Sukuna and Megumi was the one who'll survive. I was so sad. What do you think about it?

Also, I love Yuuji, but I felt kinda guilty, cause ep 17 of JJK s2 is in my top 5 fav JJK episodes. Sukuna vs. Mahoraga is so cool, and when op song played at Yuuji's breakdown, I think it's felt right......

I don't even have a full-thought answer for that theory but just know if that happens, I'm fighting, I'm crying, I ripping wallpaper down...

Yuji is my sunshine who kicks ass, he is my favorite and if he dies I am not going to be the same person.

But I honestly get you on rewatching that episode. That moment is just so great as in terms of "this made me want to cry" which it did the first time I watched that scene. Like Enoki's voice acting hit me dead in my chest (and then came episode 20 and ooooh, boy).

And usually, I'm dancing to "SPECIALZ" because that song is fire (watch the music video for it, I promise you it is something else). But was the time I got mad and not because I thought it was annoying, (I didn't think so, I know some folks did) but because... how am I suppose to dance when my boy is crying and having a mental breakdown?

What makes playing that song perfect for that scene is that it did came off as mocking Yuji. Now, I don't know exactly whose POV that song is supposed represent, but I always just think it was for multiple characters. At that instance, it was Sukuna to Yuji.

It's funny, I posted a fic about... over a week ago called "You Are My Special" about Kenjaku's POV on Yuji and someone had commented how the song reminds them of Yuji and Sukuna (I've also been thinking about writing a companion piece on Sukuna's POV on Yuji), especially these parts...

Shall we dance in the boarder of the death

Tokyo trenches in the metropolis

Shall we give it our all in between yes and no

Show me a hint of bad part inside of you

***

Let it all make a mess

Devour everything to your heart's content

A lifelong labyrinthine rendezvous

To the point of dizziness, "U R MY SPECIAL"

*Watched several videos and read several posted lyrics for the translation. And at best, this is what I came up with. Mostly referencing from the music video.

Apparently, our minds worked in sync because these are the parts I think of during Yuji's mental breakdown. Well, that first part especially.

Forewarning, I am not an expert at analyzing! This is just how I feel.

Sukuna, for real, brought Yuji to the border of where he destroyed Shibuya so he could see all that destruction. Of course, he laughed at him, no doubt about that one.

But I also feel like that maybe Sukuna wanted Yuji to see what he's capable of. When I say "he" I mean what Yuji is capable of. He just should let go of his good nature and let loose.

I should probably make a whole other post on this since I don't want make this answer too long. 😅

Should I do that? Anybody wants that? I'd probably would do that. I'm gonna write it anyways.

[keter-kan]

Back with Chapter 7! How are we feeling about the balance between povs's and flashbacks? Trying to balance the emotional integrity of the scenes and worldbuilding can be difficult.

The aftermath of the surprise siege is upon them, May and her men needing to prepare for what comes next.

tw: mentions of death, bodily horror and harm, murder, war, blood

Ch. 7

It took what remained of May’s men another hour to clear the courtyard of all attackers, and another few hours after that to properly barricade the main square of the small town surrounding the manor. There was a line of destruction straight through the middle of the once beautiful yard, showing where the other troops had marched through to get to the Manor—to Oryn.

Scouts were sent out into town to assess the damage and bring as many townsmen into the barricade as they could. Although most men of the duchy were already wielding weapons under May’s command, any that couldn’t still find themselves wanting to serve her in any way that they could. The entire population was loyal to May’s blood, not a single one of them turning down the chance to defend their homes when asked.

As May paced back and forth in front of the main gate to the courtyard and watched her men scurrying back and forth to make sure everything was set before they were attacked again—which they most definitely would be considering the slaughter wrought today. The only thought raging through her pained head about Oryn and their safety and whether or not this attack could potentially have anything to do with them.

It’s obvious, she thought. They wouldn’t have gotten into the attic… they were tracking him, listening to me. This had everything to do with Oryn.

Demetrius came limping towards her, still a hulking form despite his burns and other miscellaneous injuries.

“The barricade is sufficiently guarded and secure, my Lady. Scouts are being directed to their designated areas as we speak,” he said through a hoarse throat, hacking up a glob of ash-stained phlegm, the bit of blood staining the dirt beneath them.

May shook her head, worry plaguing her. “I can’t afford to lose my Chief General, Demetrius. You need medical attention. Go,” she commanded, looking him up and down with scrutiny.

He held her gaze longer than usual; he never liked letting her know how much pressure he held. And yet, just this once, he let his eyes meet hers.

May shuffled where she stood, crossing her arms. “That wasn’t you, was it?”

“No,” he only let the shock play on his face for a moment. “But that wasn’t you, either, I surmise.”

Word travels fast. It’d been a half a day since May had skewered one of her own men, the blood that served her own staining her blade. How many know? Does he? It was a question that had never crossed her mind before: how much would it take for her men to betray her?

Demetrius towered over her, and yet his presence was that of a scared child. “Do you think it was him?” he murmured.

May took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. “I do. But I don’t think he knows.”

Demetrius shook his head. “How can he not know?”

A small group of scouts was seen scurrying through the growing crowds, the townsfolk clearing the way with loud shouts and demands of clearing the way.

~

Maureen paced the length of the cabin, her long hair flowing softly behind her in a graceful waft. Elisa sat upon the cushioned stool with her back as straight as a board, following Maureen back and forth. Starla was merely prepping the afternoon tea, humming a soft song to herself.

Oryn sat beside Starla on the soft wooden counter. It always smelled so lovely when Starla was the one to make the tea. Oryn could never figure out what made hers different from the other two; it just tasted better.

They could all but see the haze of tension cascading over the room. It was terrifying in a way that made their hair stand on end. Oryn couldn’t think of a time when any of them ever expressed so much fear before. Well, once. But that was another matter entirely, nothing like this.

“When he arrives,” Maureen mumbled, “we need to have a plan. We need to be ready to strike before he decides to do anything drastic and—”

“He won’t,” Elisa interrupted. She slowly stood up, stretching her neck and back. “It won’t come to that. However, I do think a plan needs to be set, just in case.” Her hard eyes met Maureen’s, something unspoken being shared between them.

Oryn all but jumped in their seat as Starla stopped her humming and spoke up. “You’re both so cynical,” she chided, sighed as she grabbed a few mugs from the cupboard. “He’s the one that left him with us. If anything, he’s the only other living thing on the face of this good land that shares our goals.” She started to set the small table with their finest placemats.

“But what if—”

“You shouldn’t expect—”

Starla shot them both a glance, the fire roaring in the mantle behind Maureen dulling under her gaze. “We are more than capable of handling ourselves. How much do you think the poor old man truly knows of us? Of our capabilities? Whatever you assume of him, stop. He’ll be here sooner rather than later and the last thing I want is for him to feel as if he’s unwelcome. We need to discuss what comes next. And Oryn,” she said, turning to them. “Don’t ask too many questions. In fact, ask none at all.”

It was rare of Starla—of the three of them—to set her boundaries with such brute force, letting her powerful senses overtake her and express themselves. They decided to listen.

She continued to set the table and arrange the baked goods and tea, letting Oryn have a small taste of the honey and sugar. As Maureen and Elisa sat down at the table to wait, their gazes towards one another never broke. The air was electric with their fear.

There was a knock at the door.

The forest was silent with anticipation.

Maureen and Elisa stood from their seats. Starla opened the door.

The man who stood there was old and frail, the white wisps of hair on his head matching the scraggly beard flowing down his chests. The gray robes were modest and seemingly understated for someone of his status.

“Hello, High Councilor,” Starla said, smiling with pride and bowing just slightly to show her respect.

“Please,” Jonas said, “No need for such formalities.” As he returned her smile, Oryn saw a heaviness in his eyes. He reached an arm around Starla’s shoulder, Starla leaning in and hugging him.

“It’s good to see you. You look well,” he said, pulling away to take a look at her.

Her smile softened as she looked him over, a different weight heavy in her own gaze. “As do you. Please, come sit,” she said, beckoning to the set table full of pastries and tea. Maureen and Elisa both curtly nodded their heads as they waved towards the man, sitting after doing so and starting to fill their own plates. Oryn took that as the queue to fill their own.

They sat for a few moments in silence as they ate and drank, Oryn delighting in the fact that they were being allowed so many treats. They didn’t notice the odd glances and long stares from the four adults at the table with them.

“You look well, child,” Jonas said, setting his napkin down on his emptied plate, letting his cup sit idly on its saucer.

Oryn looked from Maureen to Elisa to Starla, each of them glaring into his soul with their own piercing gaze as if they were each willing what words to come out of their mouth.

“I’m sorry,” Oryn said, making eye contact with the man as they swallowed the last of their pastry. “But I don’t think I know you.”

Jonas nodded, leaning deeper into his chair. He took a long, deep breath. “How much have these lovely ladies told you about how you came to be here?”

Oryn’s brows furrowed in confusion as they once again looked from one witch to the next. Now, though, the three of them each avoided their gaze, squirming in their seats.

They knew an opportunity when they saw one.

“Not enough,” they mumbled, their own gaze darkening as something deep within them said it wouldn’t be smart to ask.

Jonas nodded yet again, maintaining his gaze with them. The witches sat silently in their seats.

“Your mother,” Jonas started, tapping a finger on the table, “she died.”

Oryn nodded. “Yes. And that’s why the three of them take care of me,” they said, gesturing towards where they sat.

“That’s right,” he sat up straighter in his chair, leaning forward as his gaze grew deeper. “I’m the man that got you here. To make sure someone could take care of you.”

Oryn nodded, not understanding the behavior of the witches; what could possibly be so nerve-wracking about an old man with a soft spot for a motherless baby?

“My mother,” Oryn’s curiosity had gotten the better of her. “You knew her then?” their voice was innocent, yearning.

Jonas smiled widely, finally breaking her gaze. “I did,” he said, a small frown creeping to his face. “I knew her well.”

“What was she like?”

The three witches’ necks all but snapped as their heads swiveled and their gazes met Oryn’s. It must have been one of the questions she wasn’t allowed to ask.

They were all silent again for a moment, a solitary tear brimming in his eyes and running down Jonas’s cheek. “She was wonderful,” he muttered more to himself, “and dedicated and beautiful. It was a shame she had to pass so young.”

The relief was palpable, everyone’s shoulders relaxing and sighs being let out.

“Oryn,” Starla said, a forced smile splayed on her lips and an edge behind her voice. “Go outside and play. We have important work we have to do with Jonas today.” Her eyes flicked to the door.

Oryn sighed, looking one last time at each member of the table before hopping off of their stool, grabbing a final pastry, and heading out the door.

Jonas shivered, his gaze becoming cold and hard as his fist slammed down on the table. “What is that?”

“He grows fast,” Maureen mumbled, “much faster than a human.”

“His appetite…” Elisa whispered.

Starla shook her head at them all, meeting Jonas’s gaze. “That’s a young boy,” she said, her voice firm and back straight. “A young boy who has been loved and provided for, even when the things we must provide are challenging and… unethical.”

Jonas closed his eyes, resting his fingers against the bridge of his nose. “It hasn’t even been a full five years,” he muttered to himself, “and he’s seemingly twice that age.” He lifted his head, his eyes meeting Starla’s. “Don’t you forget what he did to her. Do you understand me?” He stood from his seat, walking towards the window that overlooked the yard where Oryn had gone out to play. “That boy… that thing… the things he’s capable of…” he trailed off.

“You think we don’t know that?” Maureen snapped, twiddling her fingers in her lap. “You think we haven’t taken the utmost care in nurturing something your people think is the devil?” She scoffed, getting out of her own seat and standing next to Jonas, following his gaze out the window towards Oryn.

Starla stood as well, starting to clean the mess of the table. The daggers in her voice were sharp. “My good High Councilor, don’t you forget who have been the ones raising him all this time; the ones fighting to understand his nature, his abilities, his…” she trailed off, stacking cups in the wash-bin. “The things we’ve had to witness. And the worst of it is the fact that he has no idea what he’s capable of.”

[superblysubpar]

📼Remember to vote at the bottom // Details for the Trope or Treat Madness Event found here

📼 We're doing things a little different with this one! I highly recommend reading the little insights into each character's story beforehand here, as the intro belows is told from a narration while they all start the evening together. After this, you'll be voting on which couple we follow for the remainder of the night and it would follow the typical "you" pov with the boy who wins - but the stories are very much intertwined. There are things that happen before and after that would be revealed in future scenes if they make it to the next round and/or in the final one shot if declared the winner - the story told in slightly different perspectives as well.

📼 warnings: You're given names for this one, sorry to do it. Blair for Steve's lady, Vanessa for Eddie's (but used as sparingly as possible) | a sprinkling of toxic relationships, hints to infidelity, yelling, death, blood and gore descriptions as well as use and mentions of weapons like knives and guns will be present throughout the entire story after this| mentions of drugs and alcohol and their use and effects | the little intro image below is playing off of the one from Fargo, and I don't own it

On the evening of Friday, October 27th, 2023, a group of people, let’s call them old friends, are brought back together through the twists of fate and their own stupidity. 

Four couples, and none knowing what the others have gotten themselves into after all of these years apart. None knowing what was about to transpire, and how, as a direct result of their actions, beloved friends are going to die. 

Our scene opens with Robin Buckley, a gold strappy heel reveals itself first, stepping onto the cold, gray sidewalk. A pale leg on display from the high slit of the dark emerald and silky dress wrapped around her figure. Black polished fingers take the hand offered to her by her date - let’s call her Gabriella. Robin’s freckled face and bright blue eyes shine in the lights of the marquee up at her. Gold chandelier earrings, a modest lip color, and a dramatic eye - perhaps it was a little too much for a simple show at the Orpheum. A fancier look than most, but dammit, Miss Buckley needed this. 

You see, Robin is a middle school music teacher. She spends her days pointing at a kid who thinks he’s slick putting gum on the back of his sheet music stand. Calling him out and making him wear the Dingus top hat for the rest of class, marking a talley in the you suck column on the whiteboard and the rest of the class groaning - one step further away from their pizza party. Her eye frequently twitches, for when she asks the student’s what she just said, one quite literally plays the sound of crickets on their smartphone. Yet she loves her job - her students are wonderful, most are respectful, and many are in band because they truly enjoy it. 

However, twelve to fourteen year olds these days have no trouble learning the latest tiktok dance in less than five minutes but cannot nail the transition to the chorus of a song they’re learning. She’s guidance counselor when the tweens come in crying, she’s a dentist when she yells at one to get the scissors out of his mouth and cries that he absolutely cannot fix his braces in her classroom. She is benefactor for supplies, she’s an extra custodian, she is superwoman. 

She is, simply put, not paid enough. 

Which exactly why she got her side gig, and is wrapped up in the mess of tonight. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. 

Robin and Gabby enter the Orpheum, plush red carpet beneath heels as they make their way up grand staircases towards a bar. They don’t know that they’re about to cross paths with old friends for the first time tonight - that it’s not just a happy coincidence. 

For our second couple of the night sits at the bar with their drinks in hand already - Nancy and Jonathan Byers. 

These two, oh these two. They’re quite a pair. 

Nancy Wheeler Byers is in a simple but elegant black cocktail dress. It hugs her hips she works hard for, her shoes and jewelry silver, her clutch a shimmering little thing to match. Her make-up pops, hues and shades that were matched professionally, and her brown curls are pinned up in an old Hollywood style. 

Jonathan is wearing a suit. 

Nancy raises her extra dry martini to her lips and Jonathan’s thumbs slip down the side of the tumbler holding an old fashioned, he stares at it in disgust. He hates cocktails and would much rather hold a beer.

But that’s not how Nancy does things. 

To any other person walking by, to Robin and Gabriella making eye contact with Miss Byers, these two look picture perfect. They are divine, they are a couple straight out of a catalog. Their love is the stuff of myths. 

Literally. 

Behind the smile pushing up Nancy’s cheeks, behind the black and white candid photography on Jonathan’s carefully curated Instagram, there’s pain and mess and so much we have to uncover. 

Robin rushes up to her, an arm around her shoulders, “Oh my god! How long has it been?”

“Too long,” Nancy squeezes her fingers, setting her martini on the black tabletop and motioning for two more to the bartender. 

Robin’s eyes bounce between the two old friends, a genuine smile on her face as she gushes, “God, I mean what are the odds? How are you both? What have you been up to?”

Nancy and Jonathan’s eyes dart to the other, tight smiles before responding in unison, “Nothing much!”

Nothing much meaning they’ve dug themselves into holes they can’t get out of, and perhaps they don’t want to. Because she can’t let something go and he can’t say no to her. When Nancy Wheeler Byers finds a loose thread, she has to pull until the whole thing is unraveled. She has to commit, she has to be the best, and her passion and obsession for answers always leads her to forget about others and how her actions have consequences. And it is for this reason, that many believe that what is about to occur tonight is entirely her fault. 

But, we'll see about that. 

Because, while these old friends start catching up, Gabriella’s smile falls as her gaze makes contact with a pair of hazel ones in the mirror above the bar. He ducks his head, his hand with a thick family ring on his middle finger grabs the elbow of a woman in red, whispering in her ear. His caramel and honey hair styled, pushed back but stray strands will soon fall over his forehead. His black suit is tailored, a bowtie that’s far too expensive, and his shoes shine. The lady in red, we’ll call this one Blair, has accessories and make-up that are equally as professionally done and sophisticated as Nancy’s but far more expensive. The woman attached to the wrist his fingers now curl around turns her head, smiling directly at Gabriella and waving. They begin to head over to the group and Gabriella panics, squeezing Robin’s fingers and beelining towards the line snaking out of the ladies room. 

Gabriella’s lack of subtlety is not lost on either half of our third couple. Steve Harrington watches it happen, his throat bobbing and his fingers flexing at his side. Mrs. Harrington finally has the confirmation she needs that her husband is fucking his secretary. But is that what’s happening? Only time will tell, we suppose. That is afterall, how a story works. 

Nancy sees the Harrington’s first after Gabriella’s abrupt departure and she smiles. Kisses to each apple of each of their cheeks and a firm handshake from Jonathan. 

“Steve?” 

Steve Harrington turns, and Robin Buckley beams. 

“Ro-Robin! Oh my god!” He engulfs her in a hug and she laughs, the two old friends holding each other tightly. Mrs. Harrington looks at the pair then back at Nancy and Jonathan, confused, and even more so when Nancy gulps down her third martini and Jonathan’s hand shakes before grabbing the detested old fashioned. 

Blair has never seen Steve so genuine, not since their early years, not since before their engagement. It’s like the weight of his life is lifted from his shoulders from this honey-haired goddess and suddenly she’s not so sure it’s the secretary he’s fucking. 

Steve’s hands land on her shoulders, hers on his forearms as he shakes his head, eyes wide, “Wh-what? What are you doing here?”

Robin laughs, gesturing over her shoulder, “My girlfriend got tickets.”

Steve’s eyes dart up, Gabriella’s head ducks down quickly because as we’ve established, subtle and her don’t mesh. Steve inhales sharply, “She, oh, uh…wait, what?”

Yeah definitely fucking the secretary. The secretary who’s dating his old friend. The friend whom Mrs. Harrington has never heard of before tonight. 

Before Blair Harrington can begin to question more, before Nancy Wheeler can start to confirm and piece her puzzle together, another familiar voice breaks the group's focus, and our fourth and final couple is introduced. 

“What the fuck?”

The group turns at the question, finding Edward Munson in a suit and a beautiful woman holding his hand. She wears a navy dress, this one is Vanessa. She glances at the three gorgeous women staring at her husband. Her brain begins to calculate just how much their earrings cost, let alone the rest of their ensembles, and she folds in on herself, trying to pull and hide behind Eddie.

He squeezes her fingers as Robin steps forward. “Eddie? Oh my god, seriously is someone playing some like prank tonight? Did the kids do this? How are we all here?”

A great question indeed, Robin. 

What are you all doing here? 

Before this question can be answered, the soft lighting overhead flickers twice and a chime rings out, signaling it’s time to take their seats.  

Blair Harrington starts to head towards their box, Vanessa Munson glances down at the paper ticket in her hand and tries to figure out which direction to go, Gabriella (we never did give her a last name did we?) is nowhere to be seen. 

Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Nancy Wheeler Byers, Jonathan Byers, and Robin Buckley all stand in a circle, speaking at once.

“Well, we should-”

“Where are you stay-”

“I miss you guy-”

But it’s Nancy’s voice that rings out the clearest.

“Right back here. Intermission. Please.”

With nods, fingers slipping into wives who tug on them, and smiles - some tight lipped and some genuine - the party dissolves and the orchestra makes its first harmonizing note. 

The show is starting. 

Please vote for who will be moving on and revealing more of their story.

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Fundamental Differing

Chapter XVI: You’ll Cry But You’ll Never Fall

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summary: The secret hometown Corroded Coffin / Death Dance Approximately show does not go as smoothly as any of you would like, and the memories of Hawkins infiltrate your memories again.

tags: ANGST (more than usual?), violence, swearing, excessive alcohol consumption, fighting/arguing, trauma talk, overall just a very sad chapter imo but i’m also very proud of it.

a/n: this is my lil honor to sinéad, my heart goes out to her family and i’m so very upset to hear of her passing. This chapter is also one of the heavier ones, please feel free to skip it or read it slowly if it feels like too much. thank you guys for your continued support as always. ALSO, im seeing a lot of blog name changes and deactivations, so please let me know if you aren’t getting notifications and want to! i’ll see to fixing the taglist for next time 🩷 Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated. Reblog to support the author!

—

October 1987

“Can I show you something?” Eddie stumbles into bed, his Warlock in his grip, a bowl of chips in the other hand.

“Of course, my love.” You pluck a chip from the bowl, shifting your body to face Eddie as he sits beside you. His fingers dance across the chords, and you sway as he begins to sing. When he finishes, you look at him in awe. “Is it done?”

He nods, eagerly. He’s been fighting with this song for almost a year, and you can tell he’s so proud of himself. It makes what you’re about to say that much more difficult. “May I?” You extend your hand, and he nods, handing you his guitar. You know the chords well enough by now to play it, and you start in with your eyes closed. “What if, instead of a major chord, you used a minor?” You play it again with your revision. “And what if, instead of Don’t let go, you could say don’t let go of me?” You sing the line for him, and watch as his face contorts, brows furrowing, lips pursed. You stop. “Or not, it’s beautiful regardless.” Suddenly, you’re embarrassed for even suggesting it.

“No, it’s not that. I’m just mad you made it so much better in two seconds.” He scoffs, and you can tell he’s upset.

“I didn’t mean to overstep, ali know this song has been kicking your ass, as just thought-“

“It’s fine, Y/n, really. Forget about it.” He takes his guitar from you, and leans it on his side table. Before you can say anything else, he’s turned the light off and pulled the covers up to his chin. no goodnight kiss, No I love yous exchanged.

-

Present Day

Eddie’s POV

He makes his way back to the dressing room, which is more of a closet behind the curtains of the small stage. He’s comfortably drunk, aching still with the words he’d overheard earlier as Sinéad O’Connor’s Drink Before The War floats through the speakers. You and Steve stand backstage, him adjusting your mike pack while you fiddle with your in-ear, the rest of your band tightening their instruments or twirling their drumsticks while you talk amongst yourselves. “Eddie!” You call, before he can open the door and slide by you, unnoticed. “C’mere a sec?”

Begrudgingly, he approaches you. You’re draped in a black skirt that sweeps the floor, and a black velvet tank top that shimmers when the light hits it. “Lilith had an idea, and I know this is so last minute, but what would you think about doing the song we wrote together? I know it’s probably too rusty for you, but I figure it could be a treat, for the little hometown show? It’s alright though, if you don’t wanna.” You shrug, but something in your eyes pleads with him.

“Sure, yeah.” He says coolly, confused by the question. Why would you want to, after what you’d said? “Where should we put it, in the set?”

“Was thinking, at the end of DDA’s, we have less time, but we have the room for it. D’you still know the chords?”

He fights off a humorless laugh. “‘Course I do. Just gimme the signal, and I’ll be right out. But we don’t have lyrics.” You nod, beaming, “Oh, but I do! I’ve been mulling them over, I hope that’s alright?”

The panic is palpable, he has no idea what he’s in for. “‘Course it is. See you out there.” He gives a curt nod before turning away, entering his dressing room without another word.

-

Your POV

“He’s being weird, right?” You turn to Steve, who’s just finished fluffing your hair out into the disheveled, rocker look you love.

“Of course he is, he’s Eddie. Now, get out there! They’re excited to have you back home.” He’s right, you can hear the restless crowd growing louder, more excited as your set time inches closer. “DDA! DDA!” The chant crescendos, and the house lights dim.

“Break a leg,” Steve plants a kiss on the crown of your head, and you wrap your arms around him. “and kick some ass.”

You turn to your band for the huddle, the pre show ritual, and let Sylvie lead the way to the stage. The crowd erupts as you take your marks, pressing out across a stage half the size of what you’ve grown used to this past month.

“HAWKINS, INDIANA!” You exclaim, drowned out by the audience as Lilith starts a drumroll. “We are Death Dance Approximately, from right down the street, are you ready to fucking PARTY?!” The response is a cacophony of screaming, just the way you like it.

“One, two, three, four,” Lilith taps her sticks together, and you jump into your first song. You open with Indiana, an ode to home, and you feel the weight float from your shoulders. The house is packed, and you recognize a face every few minutes, whether from school or just around town. Your friends are occupying a table on the side of the stage, and you can barely make out their faces. They dance and sing along though, and at some points you’re sure you hear Max’s whistle. It’s electric, rewarding to have people there for you, that know your songs, love your band. It reminds you why you started in the first place, despite the pain you’d endured on your way up.

-

“Thank you for coming out tonight, Hawkins! We have one more song for you before we introduce our friends in Corroded Coffin. This was a last minute decision, but before we play the song we know you’re all waiting for, could you please give a warm, freaky welcome to Coffin’s very own EDDIE MUNSON!” No amount of preparation prepares you for the screaming. The building must be shaking with the vibrations as Eddie saunters onto the stage, spotlight shining directly on him. His acoustic guitar is slung over his shoulder, and he wears a tattered DDA shirt and torn up black jeans, his converse laced tightly on his feet. He waves to the crowd, squinting into the bright stage lights. He wobbles slightly, and you know he’s drunk, but you have faith in his performance ability regardless.

“This song is one I wrote with Eddie years ago, and this is the first time we’re ever performing it. Please forgive us if it’s not so polished, but revel in the fact that you’re the first crowd that gets to hear it!” The audience responds with applause, and you glance at Eddie. His eyes are glued to the floor, not looking at you at all, so you turn back to Lilith who counts you off.

Eddie starts in with the opening melody, much softer than any song CC has put out, but still with the hard bite that persists within their catalog. You begin the ad libs, ones you love to play with live that can’t be recreated in the studio. The crowd sways with you, and glimmers from their lighters each the sky as you start the first verse.

“I’ve seen my share of gore and pain, enough to last my lifetime. / I wonder how you’re coping now that you’ve got that hurt inside. / I’d ask you how you’re doin’, but I know that you’d just lie, / and I’d bother you to open up, / if I thought it worth our time. / But you’ve been off drinkin’ down the hurt and pain we’d felt, / and I'm stuck circling the drain alone, keeling over as I melt.

Six years of shit, and dirt, and blood / caked under our fingernails, / and all I've got to show for it are these twisted, evil tales. / So all I ask is don’t let go, / don’t let go of me, / and all I want is for you to know / that you’re still the one for me.”

You don’t open your eyes the whole time, and you know you’re in for it when you do. You’re sure he’s caught on by now, the lyrics far from subtle, but still you can’t bring yourself to watch his reaction to them, instead focusing on your voice not breaking as he plucks the strings only three feet away. When the song ends, the crowd shrieks and it’s all you can hear. Eddie waves to the kids at the barricade, mouthing thank yous as they clap for him before approaching you. You entwine your fingers with his, swinging both your arms first into the air, then down to the floor as you both bow. He squeezes your hand before letting go, walking offstage without a word to the audience.

“Eddie Munson, everyone! I know you’re all very excited to see Corroded Coffin tonight, but we got one more song for ya, is that alright?” When the whooping fizzles out, Sylvie strums the opening to Pretty Boy, and it gets loud again. “This song is for, well, if you know you know. It’s called Pretty Boy!”

-

Eddie’s POV

He makes a beeline for the mini fridge, cracking open a beer before even saying a word to his bandmates. “You good?” Gareth raises an eyebrow, watching his bandmate down the bottle without a breath in between.

Eddie belches before snapping, “What makes you think I’m anything but perfectly fine?”

“Oh, just, everything.” He mumbles, but Eddie hears him anyway.

“What’s up with you, man? Aren’t you two on good terms now?” Jeff asks, plopping down on the arm of the sofa next to Eddie, who’s sprawled in the middle like an old rag doll.

“I have no idea. Thought we were, but I overheard them talking earlier and-“

Jeff interrupts, “Overheard? How much did you actually hear? Ever wonder if eavesdropping is maybe not the most reliable source of information?”

Eddie glares at his friend, who only rolls his eyes. “I know what I heard.”

“Whatever, man. We have a show to do, so get your shit together.” Jeff heaves himself off the couch again, and Gareth follows, clicking his drumsticks.

-

“Good evening, Hawkins! We are Corroded Coffin, and we’re here to fuck shut up!” Gareth shouts into his mic and is met with an eruption of screaming fans. Eddie feels the alcohol coursing through his bloodstream as he strums a chord, amping up the tension before the drummer counts them off. They break into the first song. His vision’s fuzzy, but he can still sense you, standing right up front, mouthing the words and nodding your head to the beat. He can’t let himself think too much about it, already distracted by your earlier conversation with your band. Because of him. You’re having nightmares again, unable to rest, because of him. The words play on a broken record, spinning out of control inside his brain, and he barely realizes he’s broken a string from strumming too hard.

When they end the song, a crew member cloaked in black rushes onstage to help him fix it while Eddie stands there, useless and shaking with a feeling he can’t place. Not exactly anger, nor anxiety, but a sinister lingering in his gut. The crew member leaves, Eddie’s string replaced, and Gareth waits for a cue to continue. “Apologies, my dear friends, for the technical difficulties. Thanks for coming out to see us on such short notice. This song is for anyone that’s ever felt like a freak in their own skin.” Eddie backs away from the mic as Jeff starts in on their next song, Eddie’s voice barely a part of him as he sings. His fingers are starting to bleed from playing so hard, something he hasn’t done since he started playing guitar more seriously.

Eddie fades in and out during the set, on autopilot, his usual lighthearted banter with the crowd now awkward and empty. He feels nothing when the lighters fly into the air during Wiped Clean, or even when he looks right at you when he sings Sweetheart. It feels like something in him has died, leaving a gaping wound. Being home was like ripping that wound right open.

-

Your POV

He’s looking right through me. There is absolutely no feeling behind Eddie’s performance tonight as he drags himself through the set. He’s usually bouncing off the walls, swinging his guitar around or sticking his tongue out while he shreds, but tonight he stands there, his head barely even nodding, let alone banging and thrashing like he usually does.

Around you, there’s a sense of panic. These people came for him, they know what he’s about, and this was likely the last thing they’d expected of a hometown show. Their dancing is tainted with confusion, worrying for the man on stage in front of you. You look to where your friends stand, cautiously swaying and nodding along to the music, glancing back to you every so often with a raised or furrowed brow. Dustin, though, meets your eyes and immediately starts pushing his way through the crowd.

“Move, please! Friend of the band coming through! Eddie Munson’s protege! Out of the way, holy shit!” He makes it to you relatively unfazed, and you grab his outstretched hand to pull him up to the barricade. “What the hell is going on?” Dustin shouts, and you shake your head.

“I have no idea, he’s been weird all day.”

“He drinking?”

“Dustin, he’s an adult!”

“That’s not what I mean! Is he, like, drinking drinking?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

He shoots you a baffled, disappointed look, and you get it. Loud and clear. This, whatever Eddie’s doing right now, is somehow related to you. “I am not responsible for his behavior!”

“No, of course not! But you might be able to explain it!”

You think, hard. You were fine this morning, waking up together, even being mistaken for reconciled lovers. “I really don’t know, Dustin!”

“Shit, okay. I’ll get back to you.” He turns around, about to disappear again, but you grab him. He meets your eyes, reading you in such a way that you probably won’t even have to ask him. But you do, for good measure.

“Make sure he’s okay, yeah?”

“Of course.” And you let him go. You turn back to the stage, where Eddie switches his beautiful electric guitar for his well worn acoustic. You feel a smile pull at your lips, knowing the acoustic rarely makes an appearance at regular Coffin shows.

“Hawkins, you’re so very special to me,” He starts, tuning his guitar as he slurs. Shit. “So I feel I should show you, just how special. We don’t usually do this, but because we’re home, I feel it’s only mandatory. I’m gonna play you guys a deep cut, one we never released and probably never will.” No. No fucking way. “Now, even the guys didn’t know I planned to do this, shit, even I didn’t til halfway through the set. That set sucked though, am I right? I mean, the guys were wonderful as always, but I was god awful, and for that I am truly sorry. It’s hard to put the energy into this town when it sucked the life out of me for so long. No offense, I do love that you’re all here.” Jeff and Gareth exchange looks of befuddlement. They have no idea what’s going on, but it’s starting to click in your head.

“This song is called Salt The Earth.” Your jaw drops to the floor. He’s never shown that song to anyone else, that you know of, because he hated it that much. It was a battle he’d been fighting since you’ve known him, one even you weren’t sure he’d win. But here it is, in the same town he’d written the song, giving it a live debut.

He plays to an almost silent, completely entranced room of people, staring straight ahead at the glowing exit signs, past you and all of his friends.

“Burnt the whole place down, demolished holy ground, packed your bags, didn’t look back, salted earth on your way out. / Fires bright, smoke in my eyes, I never even heard your goodbyes. / When you leave you’re supposed to salt the earth, you’re supposed to cut the rope. / But I'm still here, tied to this post, while you’re out somewhere laughing.”

There’s a bite, a sting behind your forehead, as the lyrics swim through your head. You haven’t heard the song in years, and it was barely passable as a song, but somehow, the lyrics are still there, stored in the depths of your memory, and only yours. As far as you can tell, scanning the faces of your friends and colleagues, you’re the only one that knows the words. Some of them have changed, he’s vastly developed as a songwriter in the last couple years, but it also gives you waves of nostalgia. To you, this song is an old friend, one constantly looping in the background of your life with Eddie. Selfishly, you wonder if your life with him, the ending of it especially, contributed to the song’s growth.

His voice is low, gravelly to match the somber tune. His eyes close as he further loses himself, wincing as he fingers the chords, breaking open fresh wounds on his fingers. Every so often, when you really let yourself watch Eddie perform, you’re hypnotized by his presence. You forget where you are, who you’re with, as everything falls away except for him, on display in front of you, for you, the only other person in the room.

The song comes to an end, Eddie practically playing himself out, still strumming as he leaves the stage. It takes a second, but the room eventually explodes with applause, chants of EDDIE! EDDIE! filling the club to its ceiling. After a good amount of teasing, the house lights dim again and the band take their spots once more, Eddie front and center with his Warlock strapped back in place.

“You didn’t think we were done yet, did ya, Hawkins?!” It’s as if he’s been struck with new life, rejuvenated after playing that song, defeating that looming enemy he’s had for so long. “We have one more song for you, and I know you know it. Thanks so much for comin’ out, tip your bartender!” They start in on The Crawl, the crowd going wild for one of their biggest songs. A pit opens in the middle, close to where you stand with your friends, and you feel at ease for the first time all night. Despite Eddie’s weird behavior, things have been going well. You desperately wish the other shoe would drop, but at the same time want for once for there not to be a second shoe. There’s always a second shoe.

-

Eddie’s POV

The tension still lingers in his shoulders, but he feels lighter. Salt The Earth had been a big, angry cloud threatening to rain down on him for years, and it’s like he’s finally watching the sky clear. Or, he would have been, if not for the much darker, much angrier cloud right behind it. This one holds what you’d said earlier, behind closed doors, and not for him to hear.

He stomps offstage, t shirt in one hand, guitar clutched in the other, avoiding eye contact with his friends and bandmates as he looks for solace: the bar. He’s already very, very drunk, and he knows it’s not smart, but it’s all he can think to do to drown his memory of earlier, and his shame about the way he’s reacting. What a Catch 22, to need to drink not to feel shame, and to feel shame for drinking.

“Hey, is he-?” Your voice floats into his ears, warm and concerned as you ask Steve where he is. “Never mind.” And suddenly, you’re next to him, leaning on the counter, not saying a word as he gulps down his whiskey. “Hey.”

He doesn’t look at you, barely even acknowledges your presence. He grunts, “Hmph.” in response.

“What’s going on?”

He won’t respond. He won’t open up to you again, he can tell it’s hurting you.

“Eddie, would you look at me, please?” He hears it, the slight crack, whether it’s from performing or from holding back tears he’s not sure, but it works in your favor.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” His words come out jumbled, slippery in his mouth against the liquor.

“There must be, if you’re drinking like this. What’s bothering you?” He chances a look at you, and wishes he hadn’t. You look up at him with concern, eyes darting back and forth between his, trying to read him, dig into him even deeper.

“Nothin’, just thirsty.” He won’t. He can’t tell you he heard you, it would only upset you, and it’s not fair that he’s heard you in the first place.

“Ed, you know you can tell me anything.”

“Ever think I don’t want to?” He snaps, and you jolt. He regrets it, it’s not your fault he feels this way, not on purpose, but he’s infuriated by your care for him.

“Okay,” you start, voice low, “you don’t have to. But I’m around, y’know, if you change your mind.” You almost place your hand on his shoulder, a gesture of consolation, but he leans away, and you tighten your lips to keep them from quivering. “See you later.” And you’re gone.

“Another round, barkeep.”

-

Your POV

“Well?” Steve meets you in front of the buses, overseeing the crew as they load the trailer. “How is he?”

You all but break down at the question. “I don’t know, I really don’t.” You don’t know why it hurts so much, he doesn’t owe you anything. “He won’t talk to me, but something is most definitely wrong. Whatever happened, I don’t have a single inkling of what it is.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Steve is gentle, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you let a single tear slide down your cheek.

“You’ve done so much for me already, this whole time. I can’t keep letting you fight my battles for me. I’ll figure this one out. On my own.” He nods, giving you a reassuring squeeze before letting you by, into the bus. You’re the first one in, the rest of your band enjoying their night with each other, and you’re in here sulking. “Fuck it.” You mumble, exiting the bus again. “Let’s go enjoy our night home, huh?” You wipe your face hurriedly, much to Steve’s confusion, but you don’t let him ask more questions. “C'mon! Let’s go dance and drink and be fuckin’ merry!”

He laughs, but it’s a nervous giggle. “Okay, okay! Don’t get all weird on me, though.”

“Please, Steve, you know I can’t promise that.”

-

The house music is blaring Soundgarden’s Jesus Christ Pose as lingering fans drink and dance, trying to catch glimpses of band members in the makeshift VIP sections. You catch your friends in the far corner, and they wave you over when they see you. “Thought you’d gone off with your boy!” Max teases as you sit next to her in the booth, and you try not to make your irritation known.

“He’s probably off somewhere, brooding.” Robin intercepts, a smirk on her face.

“That’s all he seems to do now. Any chance we’ll see him again before we leave?” Mike quips, and El giggles.

“And if we do? Chances are we’d say something to piss him off.” Lucas adds, slumping in his chair.

Dustin mumbles something only meant for you, but even you can’t hear him. “What was that?” When his eyes meet yours he looks away, and before you can ask again he’s sliding out of his seat, off into the darkness of the club. “What’s his deal?” You ask the group.

“Guess he’s not in the mood to rag on Eddie? Strange, he’s usually the one to start the rolling of the punches.” Lucas shrugs, and you sigh.

“Should I go apologize?”

Will shakes his head. “He’ll get over it, hang out with us!”

-

Eddie’s POV

“What the hell, man?” The voice next to him is unmistakable, even in his current state of intoxication. “Why are you hiding from everyone? We haven’t seen you in two years, more than that, and you’re avoiding us!” Dustin yanks the drink out of Eddie’s reach. “Fucking say something!”

Dustin’s anger startles him. “Whoa, big guy, hang on,”

“I have been hanging on, all week. You were fine, almost normal, and tonight you go on stage acting like a zombie, and you don’t come say hi to anyone after. I'm done waiting around for my friend to reappear. What is your damage?”

Eddie looks at Dustin, his sweet face and big eyes as he tries to keep his composure. “Look, man, it’s adult stuff, something you’re not gonna understand.”

“Would you drop that? I’m 20 years old, Eddie, as much as you don’t wanna admit it to yourself. Is it Y/n? Cmon, give me something to work with. Pretend we’re friends again.”

It takes a second, but Eddie catches the last part. “We are friends, Dustin, ‘course we are. I didn’t wanna burden you, or any of the guys with it. But I guess I owe you, y’know, for not giving up on me.”

Dustin crosses his arms. “Yeah, you do.”

“Alright, fine. Let’s go talk.” Eddie throws an arm around the boy, and they exit the club.

-

“What do you wanna know?” Eddie asks, a cigarette pressed between his lips.

“Everything. What happened with Y/n? Why’d you disappear? Why didn’t you call?” Eddie can tell Dustin’s trying to stay composed. He’s a strong kid, but this is even harder for him than the rest of the party. Eddie owes him an explanation, and they both know it.

“We broke up.” Eddie starts, and Dustin nods to keep him talking. “We broke up three years ago, and I hadn’t seen them in two.”

“At all?”

Eddie shakes his head. “I couldn’t, it was too hard. I left Hawkins after that, and couldn’t make myself come back. I couldn’t face you, the guys, or even Wayne, y’know? Everyone thinks…” He trails off. Everyone thinks it’s his fault. It is his fault.

“I don’t.” Dustin seems to read his mind. “Sure, you didn’t handle it correctly, you ran away from us. But it’s not your fault it happened.”

“Dude, I know you mean well, but it is. I let everything get to me. The fame, the break up, and you’re right, I did run away.”

“The fame would get to anyone, Eddie. And as for the break up, of course it would. I had never seen you like that before Y/n. You two were inseparable, infatuated with each other beyond belief, obviously you’re gonna hurt. But you had us, you could’ve talked to anyone, to me.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have.”

“Why’d they break up with you?”

Eddie gapes at him. “Why do you think they broke up with me?”

Dustin can’t help but snicker. “Sorry, dude, you’re not hiding it well. The avoidance, the brooding, the drinking. They’re hanging out inside with everyone right now, and you’ve been at the bar all night.” Eddie doesn’t say anything. He wants Dustin to keep talking, to be angry at him, he has every right to be. “There’s something else, isn’t there? Something recent.” Eddie bows his head, kicks the gravel at his feet. “Something to do with Y/n?”

“They uh, they said something. To Steve, last night.”

“Oh, please, can you drop that? Steve and Y/n have never been anything but platonic, you know that.”

“No, nothing like that. They told him about a nightmare they had. Said it was my fault.”

“No.” Dustin says simply, shaking his head. “They wouldn’t. You sure that’s it? You heard them say that?”

“Well, no, but-“

“But nothing! You’re an idiot, Eddie.”

“Gee, thanks. I wasn’t already feeling horrible about myself or anything.”

Dustin groans. “You know eavesdropping gets you nowhere! For all you know, they were blaming you for a scuff on their boot.”

Eddie purses his lips. “I don’t really think that’s what it was.”

“It definitely wasn’t.” You stalk out of the shadows. “Dustin’s right, though, eavesdropping doesn’t get you anywhere. Well, except for when I do it.” You give him a sad smile, and he looks away. “Henderson, can I have a minute with our rockstar, please? The guys are on the other bus, if you wanna go raid the snack stash or something.”

Dustin nods, and turns back to Eddie. He wraps him in his arms, the first real hug he’s gotten since coming home. “Hear them out, okay? There’s an explanation for all of it.” Dustin pats Eddie on the back, then gives you a hug before disappearing into your bus.

Eddie can’t look at you, still basking in the post gig glow, cigarette dangling between your fingers. You walk closer, slowly as if not to scare him away. “I didn’t say anything like that.”

“Then what were you talking about?” He asks the ground.

“What did you hear?”

“‘All of this is because of him, as much as I hate admitting it. He’s the reason.’”

“Oh my god, you really are an idiot.”

“Right, I got that.”

“Eddie, I wasn’t talking about the nightmare. I told you, it happens when I come back here. It’s this place, feeding on whatever I’m already worried about. I was talking about my whole career. You’re the reason I’ve come this far, the reason I write what I do. I wasn’t blaming you for anything, I promise. Will you look at me, please?”

He does, finally. He looks into your pretty eyes, sparkling under the bright lights of the parking lot. Your cigarette hangs long forgotten in your hand, and you take another step towards him.

“You think you got here because of me?”

“I know I did. I couldn’t have done this without you, you have to know that. Deep in your soul, you know.”

He doesn’t, or at least he can’t admit it. What he does know is you don’t need him now. You’ve outgrown him, mastered your craft in such a way that doesn’t require his assistance anymore. And yet, you’re still there, waiting for him to come around, just like every other time. “I’m sorry. For this, for me. It wasn’t right of me to assume, to take something I only heard part of so personally.”

You shake your head. “No, it really wasn’t. Here I thought something real had happened. I thought I’d done something to hurt your feelings, with the way you’d been treating me. Avoiding me suddenly like I’d kicked your dog. Turns out, you’ll look for any small problem to excuse your behavior.” Your voice carrie’s a venom Eddie recognizes, each word stinging as it’s spit at him. “I’ll leave you alone. I get it. This is too hard for you, and I guess it’s not worth a fight.”

Before he can respond, you’re turning around, walking away again. “Wait! Please, wait.” He doesn’t mean for his voice to break, but he can’t help it. He can't watch you leave again.

You stop walking, but you don’t turn around. “What?” There’s no feeling in your voice, it’s cold.

“Are we okay?” He asks lamely.

You sigh. “We’re whatever you want, Eddie. Just like every other time.”

He’s dumbfounded as you walk away. You leave him there, alone, just like you’d found him six years ago.

-

Your POV

You can’t let yourself be proud. You know, deeply and surely, that you’d done nothing wrong. So why does it feel like you have? You’re in no mood to see your friends anymore, but it’s your last night in Hawkins before tour resumes, and you’re once again stuck with Eddie and his stupid face.

When you decide to make a beeline to the bar, you’re halted, colliding with a figure lurking behind the building. “Whoa, hey, sorry,” He stutters as you say, “You’re not supposed to be back here,” when he moves into the light. He’s older than you remember, more lines carved into the skin around his eyes and mouth, hair more white than gray, but it’s him. “Wayne, oh god, hi!” You squeak, and it takes him a second to recognize you.

“Y/n, wow. How are you, kiddo?” He cracks a smile, and your heart warms. He doesn’t hate you, even after everything.

“Oh, you know, same old.” He scoffs at your pathetic response, and you laugh too.

“Right, same old, touring the world and all.”

“Totally, just another day in paradise! Did you see the show?”

He nods, suddenly somber. “That’s why I’m back here. I don’t expect you’ve seen my boy?”

You frown at the question. “He hasn’t said hi?” Wayne shakes his head. “Yeah, he was just outside the bus, the big black one down there,” you point to where you’d come from. “Should still be there.”

“Thanks, love. How’s he, uh…” He trails off, realizing his question probably won’t have the best answer.

You give him one anyway. “He’s not good, Wayne. I don’t think he’s been good for awhile.”

He shakes his head sadly. “Haven’t heard from him in months, and after seeing that I had to find him.” His voice trembles, his fists clenching and flexing with each syllable. It scares you.

“Is this normal behavior with him?” You ask the question gently, trying to hide your nerves, and settle his.

“We talk once a week. Thought I’d give him some space when,” He pauses, meeting your eyes for the first time. They’re glassy, and it breaks your heart to see him so defeated. “I don’t know what you know. It’s not my business to tell, I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “Don’t apologize. I’ll walk you over to him.” Forgetting your dramatic goodbye, you pivot to face the buses, down the road from where you’d bumped into Eddie’s uncle.

“How’s tour been, by the way?” He begins, turning his head to look at you again. “You guys are making something great. Both of you,” He nods his head in the general direction before them.

“It’s definitely been chaotic. We've never done anything this big, and to do it under these circumstances is,” You falter.

“A punch in the face?” He offers helpfully.

And you laugh. Despite it all, you belly laugh at the man’s words, and it feels good to talk to someone outside of everything. Selfishly, you hope Eddie isn’t there, maybe you could hang out with Wayne. Maybe get your questions answered, or at least some inside scoop on why Marie’s diner is now called The Wrench.

“Yeah, a huge punch in the fucking face.”

You make it to the bus, still not running and therefore not leaving this shit town any time soon. You knock three times quickly, three times slowly, and three times quickly again. The bus shakes, and the door flies open. You’re met with the silhouette of Eddie in his underwear, travel sized toothbrush shoved in his cheek, chest heaving as he catches his breath. “What the- Are you okay?!” Your last conversation forgotten, panic written on his face, Eddie switches the front light on. “Wayne?”

“Hey, boy.” Wayne’s voice is weathered, a calming wave over this terrible tension, a welcome distraction.

“Didn’t think you’d have heard about this.”

“You think I’m not cool enough? You shoulda seen me in college, son.” And Eddie laughs, for the first time all day, and you can’t help giggling too.

“I’ll leave you guys alone, it was so nice seeing you, Wayne.”

“You too, kid. Keep it up.”

You nod, holding out your hand for him to shake. Wayne swats it away, pulling you into a hug you return with fervor. “Thank you for everything.” You whisper, and you can feel him shake his head, but he doesn’t respond. He has no idea what he’s done for you in raising Eddie, letting you crash at the trailer on bad nights, and promising not to say anything when he’d caught you singing in the kitchen that one time he’d come home early. He’d treated you, and all of your friends, like his own. He’s your family.

-

You end up playing Bullshit with everyone on the ride back to Nancy’s.

“5” Dustin slaps a card down.

“BULLSHIT!” It’s unanimous.

It’s a five

“FUCK!” Cards are thrown, birds are flipped, and there’s a pink tint to it all. You’d give it all up for this moment, but you know it’s not forever. The kids will go back to school, they’ll graduate, they’ll do something important. You’ll go back on tour, bumping into Eddie in different cities, different countries, until you inevitably kill yourself with drugs or pyrotechnics, or sell out stadiums until you’re fifty, like The Rolling Stones.

“Alright, kiddos, we’ve arrived.” Steve shoves himself from the bench to open the door. Both buses are parked down the street from Nancy’s, halfway to Dustin’s to make the trek home easier for them. “See you soon.” Steve squeezes Dustin first, then the rest of his children one by one. Eddie peers cautiously out of the crack in his own bus door, and you catch his eye. You have a million questions for him, and not a single one you’ll be able to ask any time soon.

“Ed, at least come say goodbye.” Steve says it with humor, a lightness you couldn’t manage if you’d tried.

It does the trick, as it always does, and Eddie emerges from his shelter. He makes his rounds, saying goodbye to the kids, then turns to Steve to say something. You can’t make it out, but Steve responds with a nod, and brings Eddie into his chest for a hug. “Alright, we’ll pick you up in the morning, you gonna be ready to go?”

“I don’t need Mother Steve over my shoulder to make sure I’m ready to leave. Wayne will do it for you.” He pats Steve on the shoulder. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?” You join your friends in waving goodbye, despite the lingering heaviness in your chest. You’re worried about him, despite how many times you’ve told yourself he’s not your responsibility.

Eddie gets back into his bus, and it drives away, leaving the rest of you at the fork in the road. The kids take the left to Dustin’s, and you follow your friends and bandmates back to the Wheelers’. “I didn’t know Wayne still lived in Hawkins,” You start, hooking your arm through Steve’s. “I figured he would’ve left as soon as he could.”

Steve nods. “Guess it’s more difficult than that. But Eddie bought him a real nice plot of land on the far edge of town, and Wayne built the house.” Of course, Eddie bought Wayne a massive plot of land, that doesn’t surprise you at all. “What’s your deal? You haven’t visited the parents yet, everything okay?”

You shake your head. “They moved back to Boston after I graduated, they had no reason to stay, Dad quit his job because he missed the city so much. But they told me they’re coming to the show out there, so that’s keeping me going. It’s weird, being here now. Beyond you guys and the kids, this isn’t my home anymore.” You remember the day they told you they were leaving, and asked if you had wanted to come. By then, you and Eddie had already planned to move in together, but right now you were between jobs and Eddie had only just gotten signed. You’d moved into the trailer instead.

Steve wraps his arm around your shoulder. “You always have a home here, y’know. You can take the rockstar out of Hawkins, but you can’t take Hawkins out of the rockstar. Prime example just drove away.”

Your group reaches the front door, and you say your goodnights before dragging your tired body into the guest bed. Tonight, you sleep alone.

-

You’re back in the dark, this time going seemingly unnoticed as you watch the figures in front of you. You recognize Eddie instantly, even with his strange posture and soulless eyes. In front of him, the taller, lanky figure stalks around, surrounding Eddie with its massive arms and veiny body.

“You have succeeded in your mission, Eddie. You have eliminated the one thing holding you back. Whatever you do now, you do it without them.” The one supposed to be Eddie, he doesn’t say anything. He watches the figure as it moves, unfazed by the words it seems only to be thinking. The voice is disembodied, swimming through your ears, or living inside your mind, you’re not sure.

Before you can react, though, the limbs stretch, tangling themselves around to Eddie’s body. You can't move, can’t speak, only watch as the branches of its arms tighten around him, lifting him into the air before swiftly snapping his spine. The body falls to the ground with a thud, and you can’t scream, can’t cry, you can only watch the body of the boy you love bleed out in front of you, as it would have years ago if you hadn’t gotten there in time.

-

You’re woken up by Nancy barging through the guestroom door, panic on her face. “Hey, whoa, hey,” she hushes you, rubbing your back as you continue hyperventilating. “Another nightmare? Here, here’s some water.” She hands you the glass and you gulp, stopping only to gasp for air. “You wanna talk about it?”

You do, but you can’t bring yourself to start. The first thing out of your mouth is, “Where does Wayne live?”

“Wayne? Y/n, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, where does Wayne live?!” You try not to snap, but this anxiety inside you is not letting up. Nancy tells you the address and you barely register it, but you bolt out the bedroom door and down the stairs, slipping on a pair of abandoned sandals before throwing the front door open.

“It’s far, hold on a second, let me drive you.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” To your left, Mike’s bicycle lay against the side of the house, and you yank it towards you. “I’ll take his wrath for this, but I need to go now. I know you’re gonna try talking me out of it.” You throw your leg over the bike, amazed that it’s now too big for you considering you’d met Mike when he was several inches shorter than you.

“Okay, please be safe. Give me a call in the morning.” Nancy wraps her arms around you, and you lean your head on her shoulder. When she lets you go, you pedal away, only vaguely certain of the direction you’re going.

-

It takes you forty five minutes, but you find Wayne’s house. Out front, Eddie’s old, beaten box of a van sits on cinder blocks, and it makes your heart hurt. You shove that feeling aside like you do the bike, tossing it onto Wayne's front yard before sprinting to the door. It dawns on you, you have no idea what you’ll say, regardless of who opens the door, if anyone does. The light inside is on, and you think you hear music playing, so you say a quick prayer that you’re not disturbing anyone’s much needed rest.

You bang on the door before you can talk yourself out of it, and you don’t stop until it’s answered. When it swings back, Eddie basks in the glow of the porch light, draped in a torn tank top and plaid boxers, rubbing his eyes. “Y/n?”

You have to physically stop yourself from charging at him, throwing your arms around his neck and peppering his face with kisses. “God, I’m so sorry, did I wake you guys up?”

“No, you’re fine. I was just about to go to bed. You uh, wanna come in?” You nod sheepishly, and he moves to let you by, clicking the lock shut behind you. “Are you okay?”

You take in the living room before you, much bigger than the trailer you’re used to picturing Wayne in, but still very cozy. His mug collection is still on the wall, as well as pictures of him and Eddie, the Hellfire Club, and even a picture of you and Eddie from your senior year. It makes you smile to see you’re still part of the family. in Wayne’s eyes at least.

“Uh, well,”

“Right, stupid question. ‘Nother nightmare?”

You can't help it, you break. The tears fall from your face before you can make them stop, and your breath seems to leave your body. The sobs that erupt from your throat are strangled, broken noises, and you rush your hands to your eyes to cover them. You feel Eddie before you see him again, embracing you without a second thought, rubbing your back soothingly as he lets you cry. “We don’t have to talk about it. It was just a dream, you’re safe. I promise.”

You wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your face into his chest to suffocate the remainder of your sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Eddie. I couldn’t think of anything else, I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone. I woke Nancy up and I still couldn’t tell her. It was so dark, I was so scared you were,” You pull your face away to look at him. He’s tired, you can tell, soft eyes carrying bags of sleep beneath them that he’s more than ready to put down, but he’s here with you instead. “I can go. I know you probably don’t want me here, just give me a second. I just had to make sure you were okay.”

Eddie shakes his head, holding you still. “You’re not going anywhere tonight. It’s way too dark, and I don’t have a vehicle to bring you back. I didn’t come here to get away from you. I just wanted to be somewhere quieter for tonight. That’s all.” He pulls you back into him, seemingly more for himself than for you. “You’re alright. Let’s go upstairs. I’ll give you the tour tomorrow.”

Eddie holds his hand out, and instead you hook yourself around his arm like a child reunited with your parent, holding on for dear life so as not to get lost again. Eddie leads you up the stairs, and down the hall to what you can only assume is the guestroom. When he opens the door, though, it’s far too lived in. Eddie has clothes in the closet, shoes on the ground, and records on the shelf in the corner. “I keep a lot of my stuff here. Wayne won’t let me take it to LA, thinks it gives me a reason to visit more.”

“Does it?” You sniffle, finally relaxing.

He shrugs. “I’m here now, aren’t I?” He looks you up and down, taking in the clothes you’d ridden here in. “You need something to sleep in.” He turns to his dresser, pulling out an Iron Maiden shirt and another pair of boxer shorts. “It’s not much but,” He holds them out for you, and you take them gratefully. “I can uh,” You’re already changing before he can finish, and you don’t care one bit that he didn’t even bother turning around.

“Thank you.” It’s a whisper, full of shame. You didn’t want to disturb him, to interrupt his time away from everyone. You’d been selfish, biking your way here just to see him.

“You don’t have to thank me. Or be sorry, for that matter. Never.” He pulls the covers back and climbs into the big bed.

“I can sleep on the couch, I know you probably want to be alone.” Even though you don’t, you can’t be right now. You would, though, for him.

“Absolutely not. Get in. Please.” It’s not a question, but you nod, and climb into the bed beside him. Before you can move, Eddie drags you into him, his arms closing around your waist, head burying into your shoulder. Instantly, you’re calm. Eddie washes over you, and you’re overwhelmed by his warmth, his smell, his soft breath on your neck. I’m safe, I’m safe, I’m safe. You repeat it to yourself until you’re dozing off, and Eddie’s breath evens out. You fall asleep with him wrapped around you, and you don’t have another dream.

-

chapter XVII

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills @lilpotatobean2-deactivated20230 @poisonedluv @kellsck

[bookishjules]

ever since they decided riptide was gonna be the promo song for the show, i've seen a lot of takes--it's ridiculous, it's campy, it's 2012 fan-made mv vibes, it's eerie, it's fun, it's stupid, it's perfect--but what it seems like everyone agrees on, is that the only real connection to percy jackson is the title also being the name of his beloved sword. i'm not saying that connection isn't enough by itself.. but i do think we could go a little deeper hehe so let's break down these lyrics, shall we? <3

**Riptide by Vance Joy Through the Lens of Percy Jackson**

I was scared of dentists and the dark

beautiful intro line to get us in the headspace of the literal child that is 12yo percy jackson.. maybe he was scared of dentists, who knows? but the point is that these are the kind of fears that a parent might be there to hold a child's hand through, and percy never had anyone but sally to do that. this line prepares us for just how strong of an impact the loss of her will be.

I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations

this is percy "stands in the corner playing basketball at the school dance" jackson. it's him losing his words when he notices how pretty annabeth is, but it's also an indication of his placement in the social hierarchy of his peers up until this point.

Oh, all my friends are turning green

green with jealousy because he has all the power of a child of the big 3? because he gets granted a quest on like day fucking one at camp? because he's a naturally talented sword-fighter to rival luke? .. or green because he's finally seeing the world as it is through his god-given green eyes? or green like kelp and algae and the tint of the sea as he befriends creatures in his father's domain?

You're the magician's assistant in their dream

i think if you see luke as the magician, with his tricks and lies, you could easily attribute this line to annabeth--i mean he did want her with him in his backwards dreams. he also saw her following him in dreams of the past, and saw her in the dream conjured by the river styx. but!! i think this line could also refer well to luke himself, where the magician is kronos.

Ah-ooh-ooh-ooh, ah-ahh-ah-ah And they come unstuck

(gonna be real.. i've never known what to make of this line oops)

Lady, running down to the riptide

first, i think of percy running straight for the riptide as a representation of how accepting he's a demigod and a child of poseidon also pulls him in deep into this narrative that has been constructed around him, both in regard to zeus's bolt and also the great prophecy as a whole. but, i think this could also be addressing annabeth, rushing toward percy (water, riptide, etc. you get the picture) and counting on him to take her away from the shore (camp). another option here, if we stick with luke as the person being addressed, is his being called and swept up by the seething rage and indignation that spirals him away from the calmer tides and into the hands of kronos, which....

Taken away to the dark side

yeah, this could very easily be referring to kronos. we can also use it for percy and annabeth both when thinking about the quest that took them to the underworld, which is quite literally the dark side. i also think it could refer to the darker side of the life of a demigod.. by percy stepping up to accept his identity, his eyes are opened to the monsters and manipulative gods and backstabbing (literally) friends and the vague promise of his own death.

I wanna be your left-hand man

oh hello zoo transport oreo sharing "bc you're my friend" scene hehehe also if we switch perspectives this does work well for luke for obvious reasons

I love you when you're singing that song And I got a lump in my throat 'Cause you're gonna sing the words wrong

okay stay with me now.. sally pov to percy. like he's up on that metaphorical stage all alone and doing his best and he's gonna fail sometimes but he's singing his own song, the song he was always meant to sing *cries*. another option of this is annabeth looking at percy, who almost always gets the words wrong, but it's so enduring--seaweed brain (affectionate). we also have the potential for annabeth to be looking at luke and saying this, only his wrong words were the path he chose, and the lump in her throat is the pain of watching him betray her trust again and again. along those lines, i think there's also an argument here for the percy @ annabeth pov that i would be inclined to associate with this song... because he loves her and the hope and the trust she carries with her, but he sees the way those beautiful traits of hers make it difficult to see luke for the monster that he's become--right tune, wrong words.

There's this movie that I think you'll like This guy decides to quit his job and heads to New York City This cowboy's running from himself And she's been living on the highest shelf

a movie percy would think annabeth would like perhaps? annabeth ran away from home and wound up in new york. before that, she had been basically cast aside to collect cobwebs by her parents. when we meet her at the beginning too, she's very much been set on the highest shelf in the way that she's been set aside despite so desperately wanting a quest. but there's also the case that the movie being referred to here is about luke, who ends up running from himself in the sense that he chooses to stand opposite both his father and the family he created for himself after heading to new york. in that case, there's also the possible attribution of the object living on the highest shelf to thalia, whose tree luke would have looked at every day as a reminder of his cause, but who would have been unable to say anything herself, stuck collecting dust, so to say.

I just wanna, I just wanna know If you're gonna, if you're gonna stay I just gotta, I just gotta know I can't have it, I can't have it any other way

okay talk about percabeth coding.. percy's "annabeth don't" when he thought she was gonna join the hunters. annabeth freaking out after he came back from ogygia. percy printing the picture she sent becuase he couldn't trust that it (she, chb, etc.) was real. "you're not getting away from me, never again." etc. etc. etc. (please feel free to continue spiraling in this vein as i know i will). it's also giving luke and his manipulation tactics tho ngl..

I swear she's destined for the screen Closest thing to Michelle Pfeiffer that you've ever seen, oh

we (percy) support our queen (annabeth). i could get lost in the percabeth of this all, but i also think it's important to go back to a previous pov we mentioned.. sally's as she watches percy go off on his own. and if the she in question is percy from sally's pov, it's his success that she sees, his happy ending, the one she's been willing upon him from day one. there's also the potential of this line to be about sally from percy's pov. he loves his mom and he's proud of her, and he'll do anything to bring her back from the underworld so that she can live the life she deserves.

**

so yeah, ig in conclusion, there's more meaning here than meets the eye :) but also that won't stop me from thinking about my favorite pen sword every time that word is sung <3

[thegeminisage]

oh boy IT'S tng update time. last night* we watched "imaginary friend" and "i, borg."

*tonight. it's 1am. whatever. it's posting tomorrow when i'll be awake but busy. anyway im gonna have to start splitting these up so tumblr will stop FUCKING me re my character count

imaginary friend:

what i like about this episode and indeed tng as a whole is that the little girl was fucking adorable. tng fans, your show has at least one point of validity. whenever there was a child on tos i wanted to throw them out of the airlock because they acted possessed. all the children on tng inspire within me motherly concern.

HOWEVER. THERE SHOULD NOT BE. CHILDREN ON A STARSHIP.

we've gone over this at length. we don't need to do it again. i am sick to death of hearing myself talk about it. i want to stop. and yet. every. and i mean EVERY. SINGLE. PROBLEM. in this episode. happened because there were children on a starship.

problem #1: child is making up a fake imaginary friend instead of making real ones = it's because her dad hops from starship to starship

problem #2 her imaginary friend is real now and wants to drown her in the pool like in that one episode of s*pernatural = this is because an alien, from space, read her mind, which it could not have done if she wasn't in space on a starship

problem #3: the alien HATES the grownups and thinks they should die = because she is seeing the ship from a child's pov, because there are children on this starship

and on and on and on.

aside from this huge and ongoing point of contention it was solidly watchable. i liked the little girl. i like guinan. i like worf being a big old softie when he found them out of bounds. i like people not undermining deanna's counseling work. i liked the horrifically unsettling imaginary friend with laser eyes who definitely absolutely inspired 2.11 playthings.

can anyone tell me if the other star trek shows just let them have kids on the ships? ds9 i get because that's a space station but are there kids on the ship in enterprise? voyager? discovery? genuinely please write in i can't take living like this

i, borg:

ooooooh. ooh i am twirling my hair and kicking my feet and giggling about it. OHHH finally we get a good tng episode. and not just a good episode a GREAT episode. the liz community has forgiven tng. oh baby where do i even begin

okay, firstly, beverly. she so instantly sees someone injured and HAS to help, i mean HAS to, it's so good. it's very bonescore in a way that doesn't feel like they're trying to make her a cheap bones knockoff but rather a spiritual successor. he would have also helped his enemy rather than watching him die. hell, he DID do that and got quite literally mind-raped for his trouble, and he'd probably do it again. i was really really lukewarm on poor bev at first but she's come into her own so well and i'm proud of her

the borg himself - third of five, aw, just like seven of nine - but no, hugh - the name is dumb but whatever i'm glad he has one - was well-cast. it would have been easy to make him uncanny and an unpleasant presence onscreen (this was my biggest issue with data's daughter even though the ep DID make me cry, deeply sorry to data whomst i love the most). his "you will be assimilated resistance is futile" song and dance was actually really funny when played off of geordi's wry indifference. "ok, but before we get assimilated, can we please finish x test?" so true king

geordi's a natural choice to pair with this guy because when he's not being the creepiest person on earth to holodeck girls he's sociable, outgoing, and patient. PLUS he has experience befriending machines because of data. hugh actually reminded me of data in some ways because of his general lack of understanding re: humanity but - and this is critical to me - HE IS HUMAN

like, i feel like the episode didn't quite nail the point home hard enough possibly because they were afraid of the implications but the cold hard truth of the matter is that each and every person on the borg cube IS A PERSON. they have been assimilated, but we've twice now seen that it's possible to unassimilate them with only a few days of effort. picard (and guinan!) consider the entire collective their enemy but the collective is comprised of brainwashed prisoners. those fucked up little borg babies they found in the cube were assimilated as INFANTS - i assume they weren't born on the cube bc if the borg could reproduce on its own it wouldn't need to assimilate - but even if they were born on the cube, they had no choice but to be this. you know.

which is whyyyy it's so fucked picard was like yeah give hugh some digital poison let him carry it back to his cube and we'll kill them like ants <3 like, oh my god his lingering borg trauma or whatever. MWAH. when he told deanna he didn't wanna talk. when he and guinan had to trauma-bond while fencing. when he told geordi that he needed to unattach himself because it was nothing more than animal experimentation. STONE FUCKING COLD BY THE WAY. he is fighting in the war on animal experimentation on the side of animal experimentation. he was going to let his cre heal and feed that kid and then send him back laced with poison. diabolical <3

and, of course, when he didn't want to speak or associate that borg kid at all because that's who he used to be AND WHO HE STILL IS in some corner of his brain (!!!)

LIKE. WHEN HE WAS FINALLY CONVINCED TO INTERROGATE THIS KID. and IMMEDIATELY broke out the locutus voice. he still remembered all the protocol! the way of speaking! everything! i was so shocked and thrilled.

i love also how everyone who spoke to hugh came away extremely unsettled but also totally convinced of his humanity. even guinan, which was so fun, because she was even more anti-borg than picard at first and they were bonding over trauma and fantasy racism. that bit where hugh, who had only known about the concept of loneliness for like an hour, immediately pegged her as lonely after like three lines of dialogue. oh my GOD???

i was decently satisfied with the ending - obviously they couldn't send him back with poison nor could they protect him from the borg, but i wish they had informed him of the inevitable memory wipe before he made his choice. (a selfless choice! he loves geordi!!) still i think he mostly walked into it with eyes open. very sad but very proud of him.

my one tiny nitpick with this episode is that for all beverly's genuine and justified concern about hugh, i don't think theyre ever gonna address the fact that she shot and possibly killed some of the borg in the episode where picard got assimilated. i feel like after realizing they are all people, like hugh, she should also realize she's broken the hippocratic oath, and have a little crisis about it. i have no idea why we had the DOCTOR shooting and killing anybody but let alone if we aren't gonna get into that. i don't think anyone cares/cared except me though.

but tbh, for me this is one of the main draws of the borg. they're ALL brainwashed cyber-assassins and they're ALL prisoners and in theory ALL of them could be saved if only they would stop attacking first. sure, yeah, in fights you gotta do what you gotta do because your own life has gotta come first, but the unique scifi horror aspect of all of those guys being perfectly innocent people fucks and they should utilize it a little more!!!

NEXT TIME: "the next phase" and "the inner light."

[letters-to-rosie]

talk revolution to me: arcane fanfiction playlist

there are few moments more exciting as a fanfic author than when someone makes something inspired by your work. in this case, we have a playlist made by @arrowdite, and in this post, because there were rationales for every song picked, I wanted to respond! the playlist is a work in progress, and this post is, too! thanks again, friend! 💖💖💖

check out the fic here!

1. Black Sheep - this is pulled from my regular Timebomb playlist. I think it fits the state we find Ekko and Powder in, regardless of the universe. Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend / You crack the whip, shape-shift, and trick the past again

I really like the lines you pulled out on the past for this one. The vibe of the song, like sonically, is very Powder I feel, and the lines about the past really fit with how I just kind of drop the reader into the story, into Powder and Ekko's relationship in the main timeline, before I bothered to explain how they got like that in the first place lol. Their own lack of understanding about what really happened between them and the other's motivations when they were kids is such a big part of their arc, so these lyrics really fit, not just the ship in general but this... articulation, I guess lol, of them.

2. Run Wild - I imagine Powder listening to this song to hype herself up as she heads to The Last Drop in chapter 2. I think some of the lyrics in the chorus fit her when we first meet her, too: determined, but aimless. I’m on a mission and I won’t stop / No destination but it’s worth a shot

For two, she wasn’t going to go. She wasn’t. But then she got back to her apartment, dumped her bag out on the floor, and saw that stupid green eye staring back up at her. She has nightmares about green eyes, sometimes waking, sometimes sleeping. Her worst ones are the what-ifs—if she had just done something different that day, or any of the days preceding it, what kind of life would she be living? Some of the what-ifs hurt for their immateriality, while others make her happy for what she’s got. And with Viktor, the human manifestation of her meager impulse control, gone for the weekend, Powder put on some music, dolled herself up, and got on the move.

She'd be playing this while getting ready haha, dancing in her apartment and feeling angry in a way she can't express right. She really is wild in that chapter. And that aimless state is so important, because Ekko is kinda right when he says she's not offering any alternative, but that's not even what she's trying to do at that point. Plus, this song is just fun, and I feel like Powder would like it lol. I also really enjoy the Thutmose reference, bringing it back to Ekko!

3. Pathetic - Powder’s opinion of Ekko at this point in the story, revealed when he makes his first appearance in chapter 2. …It's been / 1460 days since we were alright / You're having trouble sleeping and I think I know why / 1460 days since we were alright / But now you're just pathetic, I said it

Okay, I just really like this one hahahahaha like?? I can't even describe what exactly it is about it, but after a couple listens, it just stuck in my head. But considering "pathetic" is a word Powder uses in their fight at the end of chapter 2, it gets that other layer of meaning. The irony here is that Powder doesn't know why Ekko has trouble sleeping—and in Ekko's POV, we see how different that night plays out to him. In her head, he's just this posturing villain, and he is like that a little bit, but she has no idea the cognitive dissonance she's about to inflict on this man. Until later, hehehe. It's also fun to imagine Powder dancing to this one with a hairbrush as a mic. I'm sure y'all get the vision.

4. Pieces Of The People We Love - A character song for Powder. She has lost a lot of people and carries their memories with her, across distance (Vi), change (Ekko), and even death (Vander, Tovan, Mylo, Claggor, her parents…). As much as it can pain her, she keeps those people close to her heart. I think this is one of her strengths. She may not know how to express it, but she has a lot of love to give. Like when her empathy is on display at the hospital; though she doesn’t know the people there, they get to her. She takes them with her. Decides to stop looking away. Start her club. In short, the pieces of the people she loves are what drive her to build a better future. And all our time together is tearing me apart / I can't hold you tomorrow but I hold you in my heart

I remember I was actually really nervous about writing Jinx as a main character, just because I tend to relate more to Vi in canon, but working on this fic led me to appreciating things that hadn't stood out to me before. Jinx literally keeps versions of the people she lost near her because of how heavily the trauma weighs on her. I wanted revolution!Powder to have some of that same energy. The song has this kind of anxious energy, and I feel like that connects well with how Powder feels throughout the chapter. She's really knocked off-kilter in chapter 3, and she has to decide how she's going to deal with not only what Ekko said but what she's going to do with these "pieces of people she loves," and that really is what motivates her. She takes off the blinders and decides to empathize with others. I'm like a proud mom lol I love her!

5. Memories - Chapter 5, Ekko and Powder’s reunion at the community center. How Powder remembers Ekko and how he appears to her now juxtapose each other in her mind’s eye. And it’s reciprocated: Ekko is baffled to see her. I imagine they’re both confused about how to rectify the discrepancy in their minds. My memories came back in the form of someone else / …Why won’t you love me now? Why won't you love me now? / …You shouldn’t be on your high horse, we’re not so stable anymore

Yeah, they were both very confused lmao. They both have very preconceived notions of who the other is, and they don't really take well to the disruption to that. I alluded to it in the notes, and he says it outright in chapter 20, but Ekko really thought Powder was following him lol. And Powder accuses him of stalking her, even though she's able to put together that he went to school in that neighborhood way back in the day and would probably have some connections in that part of the city. She's also very much on a project to knock Ekko off his high horse after he retaliates with that threat. But as the creator of this playlist pointed out in a comment on this chapter, Ekko's not the only one being self-righteous! Plus more Thutmose! Yayyyyyy (for those who might not know, he's one of the people who provides Ekko's voice for True Damage!)

6. Hard Times - Chapter 6, but applies to Powder’s whole situation. “Vi huffs. ‘You gotta stop being so hard on yourself, Pow.’ ‘Tell life to be softer on me.’”

Is this the time to admit that I fully fit into that stereotype that black people love Paramore? I have a friend who's black and Brazilian and apparently the stereotype travels lmao. But I actually hadn't heard this particular song before, and I really enjoy it! Another one for Powder to dance and have a crisis to. But the funny thing about the particular quote from chapter 6 that was pulled here is it was actually inspired by another song with kind of similar enegry? "Softer to Me" by Relient K, because I grew up during a time when "Sadie Hawkins Dance" and "Be My Escape" were big hits, and that band was pretty formative for my teen years. I used to listen to them and Paramore on playlists I made in the late 2000s, so the connection was really fun for me!

7. Same Soul - Another song pulled from my Timebomb playlist. This one is kinda meta. They’re in a different universe, literally, since this is an AU, so it’s like they’re meeting again in different bodies. But it also works in-universe, since they’re meeting again after so much has happened and they don’t recognize who they were to each other. Figuratively—but also, Ekko’s eyes are green now. Would your heart know if I met you in a brand-new set of bones? / …I’m just somebody that you used to know

Also just really love this one, particularly the chorus, and especially the one after the bridge. I also thought of it in connection to Powder's feelings about Vi and meeting her after her years in prison. There are places where I make it explicit that Powder's feelings about Ekko and Vi are interlinked in some ways (particularly the poem at the end of chapter 17). This also fits well with Powder's gradual realization of how different Ekko's life is and how he has different people in it, which comes out strongly in chapter 12.

8. Starboy - This song makes me think of Revolution-verse Ekko. He’s under so much pressure and has to present a particular image to be effective in a lonely, high-stakes role he doesn’t like to play. And from Powder’s perspective, he does certain things just to hurt [her]. Look what you’ve done / I’m a motherfuckin’ starboy

Ekko definitely plays mind games. It's one of the traits I pulled out of his Arcane portrayal and turned up to eleven to make an "antihero" version of him. The first verse of this song I feel like connects to that part of him, and the second connects to the part that is tired of the games that are part and parcel of the shimmer business and take up so much of his time to push back against, even if he dismisses them as uncreative (and even if that comes back to haunt him). Everything he does is pretty much calculated to keep that inner universe steady and keep his head on amongst all Silco's allies as he comes into that more... administrative role. And Powder does see him as having particular tools to hurt her because of their history, as well.

The mac and cheese is baked as it should be. It is Powder’s sole consolation in this stupid, awful world. She ought to be able to enjoy the scene in front of her, but she can’t. Every time she interacts with Ekko, she comes away feeling like trash. Their history gives him a unique ability to make her miserable, and she knows, somewhere deep in her bones, that Ekko isn’t going to let this lie. Their little peace is over, and as long as she keeps coming to the community center, she’ll likely have to prepare for battle on a regular basis.

9. Undo - Chapter 8, the argument on the bridge from Powder’s perspective. You've been pouring gasoline in your living room / Light a cigarette while you complain about the fumes / Who are you to talk? / …Oh, come on, just say something / No, go ahead, tell me, what do I need?

Some of these lyrics kind of parallel a song I am trying to advance as a timebomb song, "Percogesic" by Gallant. But I think the lyrics here— You're so shook when I look right past you So surprised you don't get an answer Guess no one told you, now I told you We're not living in the forties Ain't it weird to feel small 'n stuff? —connect very nicely to Powder not answering Ekko's question at the end of chapter 8, even though it doesn't surprise him. He will get an answer, just not directly, and that's the surprise! But the lyrics in general remind me of them, how Powder is unwilling to give him that power over her; even though Ekko's presence does make her upset, he's far from the only problem she has. As she says at the end of chapter 9, "...she will handle Ekko. But first, she has to handle herself."

10. < Coping Mechanism > - Powder lost a lot the night of the explosion, including Ekko—from her perspective, willingly—to Silco. She sees Ekko as an adversary, but it’s because she feels betrayed. Now that he’s back in her life, she’s forced to look at some ill-timed big feelings in chapter 9. I've wasted so much time / Hating myself for trying / ...Had your eyes locked on someone else / No, you couldn't help it / Or could you?

Somehow this playlist beat me to announcing my headcanon that revolution!Powder would be a Willow fan, haha. Their energies match in my head. Plus, bi solidarity! But anyway lol, the song mentions voices in her head, which is very relevant for chapter 9, and there's this sense that the lyrics are questioning whether the situation in the song is predestined or not. I also like these lyrics for them: Fun fact, I really wanna fuckin' make you cry It just isn't right, so enticing just like you Mastermindin' every fight Rivers flowin' from my eyes No emotion from your side Fun fact, I'm the worst, it's true Fun fact, I learned it all from you I need a coping mechanism now, every night

11. An Honest Mistake - Chapter 9. Powder’s Anniversary feelings catch up to her. My old friend / I swear I never meant for this / I never meant— / Don’t look at me that way / It was an honest mistake

Powder really does see the accident as an honest mistake (because it was!!!), and I haven't written it yet, but there's a reason Powder doesn't see Ekko's expression in the scene where he finds her mid-breakdown. She's assuming he's looking at her a certain way, and she doesn't even know. I love drama lmao

12. Our Own House - Chapter 12, the porch scene. Powder’s group becomes official. It’s the culmination of and launching pad for so many things in Powder’s life, and for Powder as a character. We built our own house, own house / With our hands over our hearts / And we swore on that day / That it’ll never fall apart

The porch scene!! It really solidifies Powder's friendships with her club, and it so much of the politics I've been trying to explore is about that "own house" building. There are a lot of things we can't change, but building solidarity with people around us and working to build something that will take better care of us than the current system does is certainly a place to start. This gets a nice theoretical resonance in a book I recently read for class, Olúfẹ́mi Táíwò's Elite Capture: How the Powerful Took Over Identity Politics (And Everything Else). The theory is doing a lot lol, but he advances it in the hopes of putting forward this idea he calls "constructive politics," which is about building new rooms and houses, as he puts it, where we can create more equal ways of relating to each other and the world. A tall order, but I like to dream big. He also talks about how Pedagogy of the Oppressed was used in the liberation struggles of Cape Verde and Guinea-Bissau, and that is just super fucking cool haha.

13. Zanies and Fools - Chapter 12. The porch scene is such a pivotal moment for Powder, it deserves two songs. It may sound corny, but together, anything really is possible. (This song is a real-life reminder of that truth for me and I get emotional nearly every time I listen to it.) This song also recounts how Chance the Rapper met his future wife and I’m not saying that’s Ekko and Powder but I’m not not saying it 👀 I'm so powerful every time I look at you / No  memory of anything I couldn't do / …Everything will go right as it can / It's possible

It's true! If it weren't, there wouldn't be so much effort put into preventing solidarity on the part of the powers that be. If y'all will allow me a theoretical moment, there's this part in the Bible that says the wisdom of God runs contrary to people's wisdom, and I think that's interesting if we think of that in terms of how often we're told that humans are rationally selfish and human nature is greedy and violent and everything else. Acknowledging this is considered common sense, but we also know from practical experience that people are also often kind and generous, and we can choose to lean into that and cultivate it. Believing anything is possible is considered foolish, but how else do we change things, you know? Outside of the connection this could have to the porch scene itself, there's also a link to the way that Ekko sees Powder as constantly pushing what he thinks is possible, which is why she inspires him so much. They're so cute. Help lol

14. Montage - Chapter 13. Powder reminisces about the childhood she shared with Ekko. Tears soaked, we still make each other laugh / Fabricating a montage of our love / All the things we were gonna do fade away / We grew up and apart and we’re not the same

This one is a little funny to me just because it's so different from the song I chose to quote at the start. But it's a nice little flip side, because where I had a more... I almost wanna say cynical approach to that chapter, not necessarily in the content, but because I was the only person who knew where that moment would lead, it was almost like I was poking fun at it, but that's not how it is for Powder and Ekko. And she does make him laugh! That's how she gets through to him. The idea of the montage pairs really nicely with the play and the curtains that frame Powder's reminiscing in the chapter.

15. Let Me Down Easy - A song from Ekko’s perspective of chapter 13. Ekko expects Powder to tell him to fuck off forever when he offers, but it’s not what he wants. Despite how awful they’ve been to each other, despite expecting rejection, his care for her comes through. He holds her in higher esteem than she believes. I also like that the song mentions lemonade, a callback to the porch scene. It’s not a, a bad time, time spent with you / There’s cool lights and songs with good lyrics / We never have to talk again, whatever, up to you

Lol the lemonade needs to come back to tie things together in the plot. But this is a pretty good summary of where they are at this point. Ekko certainly doesn't think they'll be friends again, and he's willing to give Powder peace even if it means closing the door on the possibility that they could become close later. His care comes through, and he really doesn't expect the slightest bit of reciprocation, but Powder surprises him again (and gets ice cream for her troubles, lol).

16. Get Free - Another character song for Powder. I feel like this one could be Powder’s/this fic’s thesis statement: Not trying to get by / I’m trying to get free

I need Mereba to drop a new album because she keeps clowning us on instagram, and I have complained about this with a friend before lol. That said, I really think the title of the project this song (and "Black Truck," which gets quoted in chapter 25) comes from is really apt as well: The Jungle Is the Only Way Out. That phrase really sums up Powder's journey very well, and she really is trying to free herself from the structures that come more and more sharply into view as she applies herself to helping others and working towards change. And while this can be discouraging, she keeps pushing because she wants to be free. Very relatable feeling. Side note, I feel like "Sandstorm," another one of her songs featuring JID is a good timebomb song.

17. RICKY - An Ekko song. Particularly obvious in Chapter 16, at the hospital. “‘Catch more flies with honey than vinegar.’ Ekko scratches at his scalp. ‘But jealousy makes people do crazy things.’” His success doesn’t secure his safety. He has to deal with people he’d rather avoid or, at worst, would see him killed. But he’s successful because he takes wisdom from multiple—even contradicting—places, uses it the best he can, learns quickly, and doesn’t forget who he is. First they mockin', now they hoppin' / All on the wave 'cause they see me poppin' / Big-big-big large pockets, they start flockin' / Here's what I say when they ass keep knockin'

This is so funny to me lol. For reference, I quoted the title song from the ZUU album in chapter 6, and this is the track that follows it. There are a lot of themes (and I have a lot of feelings about Denzel's music, but this is not the time because otherwise we'll be here all day) about family and parenthood in Ekko's side of the story, so I think this is a good fit, even though it never occurred to me! He keeps things that belonged to his parents close and thinks about them often. Advice they've given him features in his inner monologue as well. But it's also true that people are trying to get things from him, and it's all catching up. (Chapter 16 also has a Denzel Curry song quoted in it, "Chrome Hearts" ft. Zacari and the Cold Blooded Soul Band; extra fun fact, I can rap this whole song lmao).

18. Dancing in a Daydream - Chapter 18. Ekko and Powder see each other at the club, on the balcony and dance floor respectively. This is, admittedly, the more angsty of the song options I had for this moment. I chose it because the lyrics describe a moment as temporary as the one they share. We've reached the palace but I'm betting that it won't last / Bright lights and mirror ball / We might be hurting but I'm ready for the free fall

It's fine if this is an angsty choice, because Powder's pretty angsty by the end of the chapter as she develops her plan to set things straight with Ekko, lol. The dream imagery of the chapter pairs nicely here. The song I picked for it is a pretty different vibe, and so is the song I could have picked but didn't think of in time, Kehlani's "Hate the Club," which is also a nice match. Between the three songs, you can choose your fighter lol. I like the name of this band, though. Fits the vibe, and me lol

19. Ego - Chapter 20. Ekko and Powder have a difficult conversation in Ekko’s hotel room. They’ve both been working on their egos, going by their ability to have one at all. (Thank you for recommending me this song forever ago, btw, it’s lovely.) Easy for me to care and you want me there / …I’m working on my ego

Y'ALL. This is my current favorite song. It has been since I first heard it. You gotta get like almost 4 minutes in before that switch comes in, but the strings and the bass... like it's truly magical. If you have headphones, I recommend using them. Done advertising lol. But that part at the end has nice lyrics for them too, as well as the beginning: Is that you, baby? Check when you're makin' no sense In this hotel bed Feels like, "What are we doin'?" Which is pretty on the nose lol, but I like it, and then toward the end: Don't wanna run Every time I get that feelin', I just rather be stuck Putting my favorite song at the most pivotal chapter, I'm emotional haha. The instrumental catharsis it provides matches the way the chapter is designed to build, too.

20. My Friend - By the end of chapter 20, Ekko and Powder clear the air. They reach a new understanding of each other. You’ve seen me from every side / Still down for the ride

These lyrics also capture part of why they work well as a couple; they work on most of their major issues before they even date, haha. On a more serious note, Powder really does get a real picture of what Ekko's dealing with, and to his surprise, she decides to stick by him and extend kindness. Just like in other situations throughout the story, Powder changes things by choosing to be understanding and kind. Perhaps it is cliche, but Powder/Jinx is a character who feels very deeply. I think it works.

21. Same Heart - You know I had to pick a song by Reed Shannon. This one has themes of reconnection while there’s action out in the streets. The moment Ekko and Powder part in chapter 21 feels like the start of something new, so I thought it fit. Baby, maybe we can do it again / Let’s restart, I’m your friend

In case you didn't know, Reed Shannon is Ekko's voice actor in the game AND in Arcane. As far as I know, he's the only voice actor from the game who reprised his role in Arcane. I love the 2000s r&b vibes on this one, very me. The fun thing is that Ekko realizes his feelings for Powder when he wakes up after the whole... hotel thing, and so there are a couple layers of meaning here. And it was just the night before that Scar was doing the stuff, so there was very much action in the streets! Really fun easter egg-type song to include.

22. Dirty - Caitlyn’s reveal in chapter 22 absolutely gets a song on this playlist. Full disclosure, I’m not convinced this is the one. But I like that it asks the question, “Do you love your neighbor?” because it has multiple meanings here: Piltover and Zaun are neighbor cities, and the rent strike is about helping your literal neighbors. And I like that some lyrics sound like they’re written by a schemer, like Caitlyn. I got a skeleton under the floorboard / I got a secret I need you to keep / …Aren't you fed up yet? / Do you have enough love in your heart / To go and get your hands dirty?

Caitlyn still has stuff up her sleeve in the plot! But she is very much a schemer, both in canon and the fic. Caitlyn's arc is very much about learning how the systems of exploitation that keep Piltover and Zaun in their places operate and using her influence to mess with that. Even if she doesn't get everything from the outset, she's determined to learn from Powder, and she's motivated by love, primarily for Vi, but also for the fellow people who are suffering under the name of the City of Progress.

23. Choose Me - Chapter 27, Powder and Vi’s fight. Powder is working hard to build a life she and Vi can be proud of, but they need different things. Vi doesn’t see what Powder does for Zaun and why, so Powder wonders how Vi can see her for who she is. How can Vi want her? I know there are places that I can't go with you / …I'd rather you choose me every day

OH BOY, there's a reason chapter 27's title has "tragedy" in it. Powder does want to be chosen by Vi, all of her, and not just the parts Vi understands. Vi's own trauma really does prevent her from seeing things from Powder's perspective. There are places she can't go because of how much pain they cause her, and while Powder's working on reaching out more, she wants the same from Vi. At the same time, Vi feels like Powder is choosing Zaun over her in a sense, so it works on both levels.

24. Call You Mine - Chapter 30. “Yeah, she decides later, lying in bed and looking up at the ceiling. She’s going to tell him.” Baby, can I call you mine, mine? / ‘Cause you're always in my mind, mind

This one is so hopeful! It's a big shift after the content of chapter 30, but Powder really is at that point where Ekko represents a bright spot in her life. They've been working to know each other better, and Powder's friends are cheering her on to go after something that would make her happy. It speaks to how sweet these two turned out to be in the fic, which was probably a surprise to everyone (including me lol, since it grew out of things I came up with as I was writing).

25. Hummingbird - Ekko and Powder steal moments when they can, resulting in long text convos and late-night phone calls. Pen pal on the night shift / She’s who I get away with / …And hummingbird, I know that’s our time / But stay on / Stay on, stay on with me / And hummingbird, I can never unsee / What you've shown me

The OG interlude! Even if it makes them both tired, they prioritize each other in those long convos and calls. You could almost imagine this playing in the background while the two of them are shown split-screen talking on the phone, lying in their beds.

26. Like 90s R&B - Ekko spends the night at Powder’s place and already she can’t wait to see him again. Feel like I was only seeking you, already got me feening for more / I spend all my time daydreaming, got me living for the weekend, oh no

I am an r&b girlie, what can I say. This one was a lot of fun! Powder really is in too deep, like the lyrics say. But so is Ekko, haha. I think the song will only fit more as they keep getting closer, getting frustrated with the things that make it so they can't be as open with their relationship as they'd want.

27. Offense - End of chapter 33. Powder announces herself to the wealthy of Piltover with her excellent award acceptance speech. Figured I should say some', but you don't wanna hear me vent / You can talk bad all day long, I will never be impressed / Dunno what I did to make you feel that you be earnin' my respect / …I said it with my chest and I don’t care who I offend, uh huh

Simz always has so much confidence in her music, haha. This song goes really nicely with the title of chapter 33, "polemics in free verse," which implies that Powder is attacking someone else's ideas through poetry. It really fits perfectly; Powder refuses to be taken in by the glitz and glamor, choosing instead to point out the people who make it all possible. All Power to the People indeed.

gif was sourced from here