#do you expect me to forget how they have fucked over every character with trauma

[constantvariations]

Adam was a cringy edgelord ever since the trailers, he simply got worse in different ways later on

How can people even like that character is beyond me

It's called "seeing the potential in a character that the writers fucked over from the start because they couldn't give the racism plot they started and refused to drop any nuance or compassion thanks to their 'violence is uwu bad' white supremacist politics"

Also, cringe edgelord is not inheritely a bad thing. Just look at Shadow the Hedgehog - he's cooler than you or I will ever be. Or my current hyperfixation husband V from Devil May Cry, who is 100% a cringe edgelord and I love him for that specifically

Kill not the cringe but the part of you that cringes and you will know freedom

[nutal]

Lifeline

(Guitarspear One-shot!!)

Ao3 Link

Word Count: 1,329

Warnings: Swearing, Referenced/Heavily Implied Sex, Post-Coital Shenanigans, Past Trauma, Abandonment Issues, Trust Issues, Insecurities, Mild Sexual Content

Summary: Adam has issues properly telling Lute how much he loves her, but she comforts him and reassures him the whole way.

Author’s Note: themmmm ughhh <3 these two are both so hurt I swear but they need each other and they love each other so much I HAD to write this. I hope it’s in character, raaahh. Anyways, enjoy your guitarspear hurt/comfort, heavy physically/emotionally intimate food!

——————————————————————— Adam’s body fit seamlessly against Lute’s, every contour aligning perfectly. She felt his sporadic breaths against her back, a gratifying reminder of how lovingly ruthless she’d been with him that night. His hands remained gripping onto her bare hips, still clawing into her like he couldn't bear to let go.

"Hey, Lute?" His hoarse voice sliced through the settled air, punctuated only by the slowing of both of their labored breaths. “Do you even realize how much I lo—“ Adam hesitated, his voice trailing off. “…Shit,” he uttered, following it with a small line of curses.

Confusion mixed with a taste of euphoria that she couldn’t quite place washed over her. Lute groaned softly, turning to face him, momentarily forgetting how much she despised having to pull away until she actually did.

As moonlight spilled through the window, casting dim shadows over his messy hair and the meticulously placed bruises on his collarbone, she cleared her throat, trying to shake off her distraction. “Sir, you didn’t finish.”

“Uh yeah, I did, actually. And just a second ago you were screaming my name so loud—“

“Your sentence,” Lute interrupted him through her teeth, narrowing her eyes.

“Oh yeeah, that,” he said sarcastically, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, sorta forgot what I was gonna say.” He briefly glanced to the side flatly. “Sucks for you.”

“Are you sure about that?" she asked sharply, her gaze unyielding on him.

“Yes I’m fucking sure! Now hop off my dick and go to sleep or something,” he grumbled, shifting to turn away, but Lute grabbed his wrist, halting him.

He sighed. “Lute, I really don’t need you psychoanalyzing me right now, okay? Cool, sweet, thanks babe.”

“But—”

“Night bitch!” he exclaimed, feigning nonchalance as he crossed his arms behind his head, laying back and facing up at the marble ceiling. Though his expression didn’t come off as all too satisfied.

Lute’s fingers traced up his arm to his chest. She felt his subtle trembling and unsteady heartbeat. His eyes were growing distant, almost… glassy. She blinked, her brows knitting as realization dawned. “Sir, are you… cr—”

Adam turned away, sheets dragging with him, causing Lute’s hand to retreat involuntarily. “You better not finish that fuckin’ sentence Lute I swear.” His voice nearly broke as he untucked his wings from under his arms, shielding himself from view.

She wearily propped herself up to steal a glance at him, only to feel melancholy spill over her. Not a lot of things did that to her, but, seeing Adam like that, did.

He shuddered at the rustling behind him, as if being reminded she could still see him. Slowly, he resigned, groaning and shuffling right back around on his other side to pull her into a tight hug. She hadn’t expected it, but was glad it happened; she wouldn’t have let him sleep upset. Besides, it gave her an excuse to keep him even closer to her for longer, which seemed to comfort him as much as it did her.

Adam didn’t say anything for a while, his arms shifting restlessly to ensure the hold. The only sounds breaking the quiet were the subtle movements of his body and the weight of his chin resting on her hair. Lute ran her hands up him, stopping at his shoulders and curling her fingers over them. She pulled her knees up to her chest, pressing them against his own, his scent lingering of sweat and adrenaline.

As the air thickened, he finally whispered, “I love you, you… dumb bitch,” sinking his forehead into her shoulder. “I don’t know what you want from me. Your badass attitude, your perky little tits, the way you slaughter sinners like a fucking machine… it drives me nuts.”

Her cheeks flushed, and she could tangibly feel the heat spreading up to her ears.

“So you can’t just expect me not to be freaked out,” he continued, lifting his head to look at her. “Listen up, Lute, I know I basically invented relationships and shit, but what happened in Eden screwed me the fuck over. And I didn’t even do anything wrong!” He weakly flung a hand up on her back. “Look, I just…”

“I don’t want to lose you too,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper at this point, like if anyone else heard him right now he’d lose it. “‘Cause that’d be a total bummer—losing my lieutenant like that. Can’t have that happening, right?” he deflected, laughing awkwardly. “Right, Lute?”

His uncertain laugh faded into a scoff of irony, replaced by a heavy silence that hung between them. Adam looked away, neither of them speaking.

There was a painful twist in Lute’s lungs, seeing the rare cracks in his bravado. She took a steadying breath, her hands moving up from his shoulders to his cheeks and cupping them with a firm yet gentle touch, making him face her. “You will never lose me,” she declared with certainty.

Adam’s eyes searched hers desperately for any hint of doubt, before letting out a heavy exhale.

Lute’s affection practically swelled. “…I love you,” she affirmed quietly, her voice steady. Saying those words wasn’t easy for her either, but with Adam, it felt… right, almost instinctual. “More than those bitches ever could.”

He broke out into bits of laughter, his shoulders relaxing as he looked down at her sternness. “Oh yeah, they’re total bitches, and not even the good kind either,” he poked. “Awesome I have you now though, huh?” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, to which she clutched a fist over her heart. Parting, he took her chin in his hand and tilted her head up to his level before moving to her lips, tangling his fingers through her hair.

Trailing down to her neck, he began returning the hickeys she’d given him earlier, leaving visible marks on the skin. Lute instinctively tilted her head back, brushing against the pillow they shared. Adam’s hands reached down, roaming from the sides of her thighs up to her stomach, sliding and scrunching up his faded band tee that she now wore. Her breath hitched, making her bite down on her lip to suppress any noises that could potentially land her in a discussion with the Seraphim the next morning.

But Adam didn’t seem to care about the consequences—not at all. Especially considering earlier when he repeatedly removed her hand from her mouth whenever she tried to cover it, because of how badly he wanted to hear her.

Overwhelmed, she grabbed onto the back of his head and pushed him down further, needing more of the sensation—more of him.

“You’re so sensitive compared to when you’re out there kicking demon ass—it’s priceless,” he murmured in between kisses.

“Adam…” she stammered out, wanting to retort, but barely able to form coherent words.

He let his hands rest on her waist, pausing to fully take her in. “You’re seriously hot as fuck, babe,” he said, his breath tantalizingly warm on her skin.

“I— thank you, sir,” she managed, albeit awkwardly, which Adam seemed to revel in, grinning slyly against her.

“But don’t get me wrong.” He let out a low laugh. “I bet all my other girls would be jealous as hell to be in the position you’re in right now—with the dickmaster himself.”

“As they should be,” she replied, her voice softening as she nestled into the crook of his neck when his movements slowed.

Adam’s lips twitched before enveloping his wings around the two of them, drawing her in close. “I love ya, Lute,” he said again, quieter this time.

From the corner of her eye, his feathers streaked with a brighter hue of gold than usual, all ruffled and in demanding need of preening—a task she'd help him with in the morning. But for now, she would simply savor their soft feel against her skin. A smile crept onto her lips as she gently closed her eyes.

“I love you too, Adam.”

———————————————————————

[lizard-dumbass]

Alright so the TOH brainrot has come back in full force after the finale came out so now i too am making one of them lists of things that i liked/stuck out to me. Also sorry if this ends up just being a bunch of incoherent nonsense

HOLY SHIT TITAN!LUZ. the design is so cool what more can i say. Furthermore,

HOLY FUCK LUZ DIED????? i was so not expecting that and good lord was it heartbreaking. Eda and King's reaction to Luz's death were also heartbreaking, and so was the Collector finally realizing what death really is. And oh my god puppet!Camila crying as the balls of light pass by her, showing us that she has had the realization that her daughter died. After the grief and trauma of losing Manny, Camila and Luz had a heart to heart which made their bond stronger than ever, only for Camila to lose Luz aswell.

LUZ SAID THE THING! NOW EAT THIS SUCKAAAAAA!!!!!

THE BOILING ISLES IS BIGENDER BABY! i honestly love the titan so much now. His bad girl coven t-shirt and glyph pants and dad-bod are absolutely everything. (Also what's with the little hooty worm sticking out of her eye socket??)

The goddamn bread pun 😭 that warms my heart so much

The raeda in this episode was IMMACULATE. I was really hoping for a kiss but i'm still happy with what WAD gave us. The loving stares, Raine's absolute joy when Eda and Titan!Luz came to their rescue in the throne room, the hugs and nuzzles, the cuddling in their new nest, etc. They seem so relaxed and happy at the end. The world has been saved and now they can finally live their lives together and rekindle their relationship. Oh and how could i forget the EARRING SWAP!! they're wearing eachother's earrings!!! I've seen quite a few ppl interpreting the exchanging of earrings/jewelry as a marriage custom in the demon realm, implying that Eda and Raine are married in the timeskip. I never cared much for the idea of raeda getting married but you know what? I like this headcanon.

Raine whistling raine's rhapsody/eda's reqiuem.

Hunter is a palisman carver! And he has a new palisman! Apparently the little blue jay's name is Waffles and that's just adorable.

Raine also has a palisman now and it's a little fox! I wonder what their name is though.

The entire hexsquad has matching Flapjack tattoos! Also Flapjack's grave, that gave me so many feels. But im so happy to see how Hunter has healed!

Harpy Lilith!

Eda is the principal of a school now?

Eda's hook arm! Also just everyone's new outfits/appearances in general. I love Raine's fully white hair and their scars and their outfit just oozes gender. I love Luz's outfit and punk eyeliner. I love Amity's hairstyle. I love how Lilith kept her short ginger hairstyle. I love Gus's new hair and his little beard. I love Willow's shorter hair and sporty outfit. Mattholomule has a real mustache now!

Fuck yeah they figured out how to remove sigils so now the BI residents can do magic like the Titan really intended!

Aladarius canon??

Everyone reuniting with their dads. Amity running to Alador whilst Odalia just stands at the side with an annoyed face. Fucking priceless. Willow's dads kissed on screen! Hunter thinking no one would be there for him only for Darius and Eberwolf to show up and accept him into their family. my heart 😭❤️

Eda and Camila finally got to meet!

Luz reuniting with King and Eda made me sob so unbelievably hard.

Luz and Vee graduated together!

Luz goes to college in the demon realm!

I thought she was giving all her Azura stuff away at first but i think she's actually bringing it all with her to college.

I love everything about Luz's quinceañera (or should i say KING-ceañera)

I love the very last part where every character we've come to know and love over these 3 wonderful years (except Odalia lmfao) say "Byeee!" to the audience. What a perfect way to end this series.

I think that's it lol i have so many thoughts

[charcubed]

Hi. I tend to forget that tumblr exists and just shout all my thoughts about The Winchesters on Twitter @CharCubed, which is a problem, but for once in my life I'm posting something here!

Here are some broad Thoughts on where I've landed of what this season 1 finale of The Winchesters offered–

• I very much want season 2 of this show SO badly. I want to see how they all continue to build their lives now that we know tragedy need not be their end! THIS IS THE HEALING SHOW. That whole cast gets to write their own story... "the only thing that's worse than how it starts for a hunter is how it ends" is no longer the case, as Carlos already said... and Dean helped to free them? That fucks.

• In regards to those possibilities: now that Dean would no longer be framing the prequel as a story he's telling, it frees the prequel up to no longer be doubling as Dean's story through revealing mirroring–which is very much what it's been doing for 12 episodes. Now the monster plots and the storylines for those characters in The Winchesters can also be diversified, so every episode no longer has to include, for example... [checks notes] a situation where a character is literally and/or metaphorically trapped and has to confront their trauma, break cycles of violence, and speak truths to be freed. It's been very Loud and very much Like This Constantly because it's Dean's story, but now it won't have to be anymore, which is an interesting thing to contemplate! (To be clear, for those unaware of my history of yelling about this show: I love that it was Like This. This show is fucking genius.)

• Initially, this finale had some alarm bells pinging in my brain but then I parsed the Reasons for those things. Mary told John she had "Something to say," right? And then she never says it. That's a Chekhov's gun that's never fired and it's of course paralleling how Dean has "something to say" to Cas too. Them not speaking that truth is a problem. In addition, we also got a montage eerily akin to the 15x19 one. But these callbacks / parallels to s15 all loudly indicate something very specific: The Winchesters is an unfinished story, and this finale (like the rest of this show) is mirroring and revealing truths about the prime narrative of SPN. For one thing, with the prequel they originally expected to have 22 or so episodes and ended up having 13 to work with. For another... this is the START of their story, not the end. So along those lines, what can we deduce about the end of season 15? (Hint: that finale is not an ending either.)

• Speaking of which: We learn that everything Dean was just doing takes place in the ~heavenly~ time period before Sam “dies." This all functionally happened right after Dean died as he drove down that road. He is restless, unmoored, grieving, and–this is key–considers his "ending" to be an unhappy happy one. He's fucking around and finding out, looking for and unpacking (through his narration) what he needs and wants for HIS happy ending to look like. He found out about the Akrida being a failsafe from Chuck and couldn't resist meddling to save everyone. It's also worth noting that Dean says to Jack something like, "If you have to kick me out of Heaven then that's fine." Between the lines is the thought of "please kick me out of Heaven, I'm causing problems because I'm grieving and I'm not done, I don't want this 'peace' but would rather have freedom." That in itself is a massive subversion of the SPN finale, to say nothing of the previous 12 episodes we've received.

Anyway. So in terms of Dean's story, we now know that this all takes place smack in the middle of 15x20 timeline-wise. This checks out because Bobby's presence connects to him being the only one we saw in 15x20. And... what I personally consider to be Jack's incredibly fucked up or ~potentially taken over by Chuck~ vibes are, in that sense, consistent with 15x19 as well. (I'm so sorry but please let me drop this cursed "Alex Calvert playing Chuck" joke by Jensen from August 2022 which haunts me.)

So: nothing about the concept that @chuckwon at the end of season 15 has been confirmed or denied in canon at this point. The idea that Chuck LOST, as Dean says here, is simply what Dean may still be thinking (which makes sense). But nothing has fundamentally changed about the state of how season 15 left things in the prime narrative yet... largely because that's not what this story is / was about.

In terms of what this finale presented to us, I think "Chuck won" potential was all deliberately left open. And I continue to Call Bullshit on the finale accordingly. A Chuck won plot line COULD be used in a future sequel to great affect, or it could NOT be used in a future sequel. That will be totally up to the future authors / team behind that potential sequel to see what story they choose to tell, and where it all may or may not go. But until then (on that front) right now it's the same shit, different show, and deliberately literally nothing about that potential has changed.

• I LOVE all of the above now that I've parsed it all in my brain. It makes perfect sense. Much like we were never going see the gay angel pop up in this show and kiss Dean (with apologies to anyone who somehow thought otherwise?)... leaving other things open like this is fantastic and the objectively correct call. Dean's story is HIS story to be furthered elsewhere, whereas this show belonged and continues to belong to its cast of characters who must take center stage. But through this story within a story narrated by Dean himself, we learned a hell of a lot about his state of mind as it actively stands in 15x20. Or more accurately: the entire show reinforces and reiterates comprehensively and repeatedly that the SPN finale was wrong and bad and not the end of the story at all, and now canonically and openly and in no uncertain terms that that's how Dean feels too.

• AND THUS: season 1 of The Winchesters works as deeply clever and layered commentary on Supernatural's ending and presents the stepping stone for a sequel continuation for Dean and his family. It's also the beginning of a new chapter with endless potential for The Winchesters' cast of characters who are not tied to fate or main timeline.

I fucking love it here.

Truly, madly, deeply: ALL HAIL ROBBIE THOMPSON.

And seriously, I really hope we get a season 2 because I adore all of the prequel's characters on their own merit and I want to see what their story can become :')

[callmearcturus]

can i just defend myself and explain why i am obsessed with mission impossible????? please? i know Cruise is a cultist and that is genuinely bad and makes this my ultimate Problematic Fave but also please god i need to ramble about this

ghost protocol, right?

this is a Leverage movie okay? there's a lot of pretty people with interesting motivations and they do ridiculous heists for the greater good.

the physical comedy element is off the chain from the start with the prison break sequence where Ethan Hunt has a nonverbal argument over surveillance camera with Benji Dunn to affectionately bully him into going off-script for the mission, and then blows him a little kiss of thanks.

the Burj Khalifa stunt, which is entirely practical and is not CGI and happened on the actual location, is so fucking bugfuck crazy that it makes my heart race every time, and on top of that it's a GORGEOUS sequence and its funny and it's character-driven and the greatest moment in the movie is Ethan's running leap to propel himself into the window at the end, only to bonk his fucking head and nearly die at the last moment. it's a miraculous sequence.

i love Carter so fucking much, and I am OBSESSED with Mission Impossible and gender. the number of times the expectation I would expect gets inverted is so crunchy.

Jane Carter has the most motivation of everyone, with her boyfriend getting fridged in the intro and propelling her to be more ruthless and reckless than the others. she gets the very dude-coded backstory and role, and it plays beautifully off Ethan because there is never a single moment of the movie setting her up as his love interest, not ONCE and so they have this wonderful equitable relationship where they've both gone through similar trauma and he tries to advise her on how to handle it, and it's SO NEAT

also speaking of gender stuff, the way Carter has to seduce the rich guy at the end but at every turn is being coached by Ethan on how best to seduce the guy, and everyone just accepts that Yep, Ethan Is The Guy To Help You Seduce A Man, mwah, love it, amazing.

also as someone who is Hugely Ambivalent to Jeremy Renner

(MOSTLY BECAUSE I literally know he can act, the first thing I saw him in was the fucking Hurt Locker okay but it feels like his agent is an idiot and keeps netting him Incredibly Generic Roles, but at least in Mission Impossible he's working with the material as much as he can)

ANYWAY I actually like Jeremy Renner in these movies instead of forgetting he exists which I think says something. and it was a small thing in 2011 but the blaise "Next time, I get to seduce the rich guy," moment really does work.

Rogue Nation

Fallout is the best MI movie but Rogue Nation is my favorite MI movie, because it is just a fucking comedy and it's the real start of Ethan's deepening emotional arc and I'm OBSESSED with it

also Ilsa fucking Faust, my god

Ilsa is one of my favorite ladies in these action movies? she feels like a boot to the face of Bond movies, she's beautiful but she's not a young woman, she has genuinely complex shit going on, she's the true fulcrum the movie pivots around, she has a very specific fighting style that stands out, and she's another Not Love Interest?

like, Ethan likes her and there's that moment when she asks him to run away with her, but the way the camera treats her makes me so happy? like if i were in a movie, i would want the camera to look at me like it does Ilsa, does that make sense?

also benji runs this entire movie. i love his growth and his comfort in his work. in Ghost Protocol, Benji was green, but in Rogue Nation he knows what he's doing, he resents being protected, he is reliable and thinks on his feet, and he yells at Ethan when Ethan is being a dick.

in another moment of Huh Gender Stuff, Benji is the one who is positioned as Ethan's Love Interest structurally. he is with Ethan the most, he grounds him but also sparks off him well, he is Ethan's connection to the world and the avenue thru which he shows the most emotion, and when Benji's kidnapped in the third act Ethan completely loses his shit and kidnaps the Prime Minister and basically does whatever it fucking takes to get him back, the degree to with Benji is Ethan's motivation in RN is kind of staggering.

also i love ethan hunt and RN is really where that starts.

Ethan can swing around the Burj Khalifa and do a 100mph motorcycle chase and well i guess the free swim didn't work out Great for him, but when he's not doing superhuman ridiculous bullshit

i'm obsessed with the growing emotional core of Ethan. his fatal flaw begins to emerge in RN, that his job is to save the entire world from certain doom, but his judgement is Fucked.

that goddamn glass box he's locked in. he sees a young IMF agent killed, and it sticks in him like a lodged dagger. he risks himself over and over to try and get Ilsa out of her own fate. he does Batshit Things to save Benji.

I know that James Bond has kind of become a reflection of itself, on how terrible James Bond, about how reprehensible a person he is. the Craig movies I've seen have been pretty upfront about that baggage.

but... he's still a misogynistic bastard who will kill people to finish his mission. and the movie acknowledges all that but it's still the driving force of the movies.

Mission Impossible doesn't just nod at "hey Ethan's kinda fucked up huh" and then keeps doing that. Ethan's flaws are getting worse and causing more and more problems for him and everyone around him.

Fallout

there are a lot of moments i love in Fallout but there is one I cannot dislodge from my brain

wait first: August Walker is amazing and i love him

i love that the movie makes no attempt to hide he's the bad guy. i love how he keeps trying to introduce himself to the IMF team and everyone no sells him, because everyone hates the fucking CIA. i love his arm reload and how brutal his combat style is compared to Ethan's.

he's so fucking FUN.

but anyway, the thing that Fallout does that I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about is Ethan and the traffic cop in Paris.

this mission has been on the knife's edge of disaster from the word go, Ethan has been mocked and pushed around and disregarded, Ilsa is after him, he's just pulled off an extremely treacherous betrayal and an even more dangerous escape, everyone is getting into the car with Lane, and they open the doors and there's someone RIght There. the wrong place, the worst possible time.

everyone freezes. Walker is ready to shoot her, just another piece of collateral damage. but Ethan spends an extended period just stopping and pleading in French for this lady to leave. Please, just go, please walk away, please do not get involved in this.

He could shoot her, or get in the car and drive, hoping she'll get out of the way, or let Walker take her out, or attack her and nonfatally injure her to get her out of the way. They really really don't have time for this shit.

But something in him is fucked because there is a nuclear apocalypse on the line, but Ethan stops to try and keep one bystander out of it.

POINTS

I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS CHARACTER. WITH THE GUY WHO IS LITERALLY GETTING MORE AND MORE COMPROMISED BY HIS EMOTIONS AS THE FRANCHISE GOES ON. THE GUY WHO KEEPS FUCKING UP BECAUSE HE'S NOT WILLING TO MAKE A HARD CHOICE AND LET SOMEONE DIE TO SAVE MILLIONS. THIS IS A PROBLEM, AND IT'S GETTING WORSE.

i love John Wick. I love the beautiful choreography of death. I love the showmanship.

But there's something about how Mission Impossible takes death seriously and the way Ethan tries to minimize harm even when he really shouldn't that captivates me.

also the cinematography is amazing.

THAT'S ALL. I love the Chris McQuarrie Mission Impossibles. It's SUCH a problem.

[nick-close]

i think a lot of current discussion and enjoyment of the fandom is s2 centered? so more s1 stuff is slightly less usual in the show now (despite still having a lot of references lol)

Nothing hurts more than the fact I spent like literally half an hour on a reply and the power went out as I went to post it- but fuck it! We try again. I’ll try to make it shorter this time. (I failed sorry.)

I totally understand that the current fandom is more s2 focused and want different things. But I don’t think that means it shouldn’t be viewed from a s1 lense. The first season set the foundation and appeal of the show as a comedy. Though I do think the fandom is genuinely a lot younger rn and focuses more on ships, character moments, story beats, etc- which is totally fine! I’m not trying to dismiss critiques or say these wants are stupid because of the younger fanbase- I was in this fandom since I was 15. I do think it plays into the wants and appeals of the show though.

And here’s really the thing. S1 is the basis of the show- it should’ve set the expectations for how the podcast goes. Where I think the divide comes from, is that the younger audience usually means people binged s1- rather than listen episodically. Binging it, you don’t have to wait between the stupid five footers and nonsense to get to character beats and emotions because you can just go and go and go to the next episode.

This is why I think people are so impatient in s2. I see people writing their own fanfiction ideas about how the next episode is going to go, spending 2 weeks building up an expectation that is never actually going to meet the show. If they were binging through this, I don’t think anyone would have this strong of a reaction to this episode because they’d just go to the next one to try and get what they want. People love the characters and plot so much they tend to forget the podcast has always been a rowdy comedy podcast at its core.

I actually think one of the reasons s2 struggles so much is because of the huge expectation to live up to the emotional beats of s1 without realizing the stupid moments are the reasons they WORK. You need Henry’s hippie jokes to make Oakvale hit. You need Glenn’s weed joke to Erin so it can come back at the trial. We make jokes about how ‘I’m crying over Glenn Close in Meth Bay lol!’ But that’s why the emotions hit so heavy. They are not SUPPOSED to be every episode.

The podcast is founded on the jokes and the stupid shit- if you want cool dnd shit.. like, this isn’t your podcast. That isn’t me gatekeeping or saying people can’t enjoy it if they come for those moments- but genuinely telling you to remember what you’re coming to. If you love the characters and the story, that’s great- but the comedy and bullshit episodes are always the core of the show for the story to build around. If you’re not gonna like them, that’s okay- but you will only disappoint yourself if you keep coming expecting something else.

You can watch it and hate these episodes. You can feel disappointed or upset something didn’t happen. That’s totally fine. But I really draw an issue with people viewing it as an error on the show’s end. Your personal preference not aligning with the show all the time is cool! But the show doesn’t pretend to be anything but stupid. It’s not bad storytelling to make the comedy show funny. The episode after the Grant Yeet scene, a huge part of it is them looking at Darryl’s shit in the toilet and getting eldritch trauma. You can’t really pick and choose Imo. But hey, do what you want, I’m just some guy! And ultimately if complaining is how you have fun (I get it, I love talking shit) then enjoy fandom however you like.

[browneyedbeauty5725]

My more in depth thoughts on OBX S3

I will admit I skipped through a lot of parts of each episode cause I literally could not care less about Big John and his treasure. I genuinely wish they hadn’t brought him back cause they had this build up of what an amazing dad he was supposed to be just to show he was actually a pretty shitty one. Like the storyline they were going with in the beginning where the whole reason John B was looking for this treasure was to honor his dad was great and then they kinda ruined it.

JIARA, what can I say other than finally lol. Some people feel like it was rushed, some people felt like it fell flat, and others loved it. Frankly I loved it. It was so them. One I think it was never going to live up to any of our expectations cause their build up was so amazing especially considering it was very unintentional in the beginning and we all built up the moment they finally got together in our heads.JJ showing her that you know what forget Big John,forget the treasure, you’re what’s important to me I will come for you every single time was amazing. And Kie being the one to say I love you first, when one John b n pope came at her and two because it’s JJ and emotions are hard for him being vulnerable is hard for him was just so important. For her to be the one to be like I know this is hard for you and I know you don’t think you deserve it but I love you and I’m choosing you was important. And just the enormity of JJ being able to say it back in a room full of people no less. And as for it being rushed if there had been more than 10 episodes yea ok maybe but there weren’t so them getting together in episode 9 along with the two previous seasons of build up was played out perfectly. And I loved Pope kinda being the first one to really acknowledge that something was going on. He’s listening to JJ say nothing happened and is just like you can say that all you want but what I walked in on was not nothing.

Fuck Kie’s parents. Like don’t get me wrong it did seem at first that her mom was genuinely trying but then she just gave up and went back to being the same as she always was. And don’t even get me started on Kie’s dad. Like I hate people who forget where they came from just because they end up successful. Like excuse me sir once upon a time you were just like those boys. And i can’t remember if it’s canon or just something we all made up in fanfics but it’s like they don’t realize they are doing the same thing Anna’s parents did to her. Kie isn’t throwing away any of what they are trying to give her. She can still have a good successful life and still hang out with the pogues. The only way she loses that is if her parents cut her off.

I love Cleo and Pope and his family. I love them together. Their chemistry is amazing. And I love how Heyward is as exasperated with all the pogues behavior like Kie’s parents but he’s handling it the right way. He doesn’t like it but he knows they are gonna do it anyway and he understands that he can either be as supportive as he can or he can risk losing his relationship with his son.

And honestly I’m just kinda over Sarah and John B. Like what was the point of her cheating and like when Kie his best friend is like we can’t trust her in season one John B is all too bad but suddenly the dad who abandoned him is like we can’t trust anyone else he’s just suddenly willing to lie to Sarah and then throw her trauma over her family in her face. I loved the relationship in the beginning but now every time I rewatch the show I’m just like go away. And maybe this is cause the actors broke up idk but the chemistry between the characters just isn’t there for me anymore. Their storyline has just become really tiring for me.

Idk how I feel about the time jump cause of all the things we probably won’t get to see but at the same time I am ready to see them as young adults. Overall though it was a pretty good season.

[spinningbagel]

Sorry for any poor soul that ACTUALLY reads this 😭😭

Spoiler if you haven’t watched the show? (It’s on YouTube) but I really doubt anyone wants to watch the show.

Okay so I’m just ranting abt sheriff and his unaddressed trauma because it s the thing that keeps me up at night. And Ik the others also have their own trauma which is slightly looked into every so often but it’s only ever one episode and is never ever mentioned again. Sheriff’s trauma is more mentioned so I have more to work with here. Though I might talk about the others if the chance strikes.

Okay so first off; my guy canonically went to WAR ffs (and I swear it’s fact most people forget) And it got mentioned ONCE Like-??? He probably saw people get killed on a daily basis. Sure he was only in charge of the pigs but that doesn’t change the fact he most likely witnessed people dying. Also it’s war. It’s gonna be fucking traumatising. The constant fear for his (and most likely his brothers) life would’ve probably been HORRIBLE And like I stated earlier, he only mentioned going to war ONCE throughout the two seasons.

Next, from what I gathered he’s never been a well liked person. The first episode literally shows a whole town looking at him with murderous intent. The guy probably didn’t have friends growing up and is so used to being alone and hated my guy probably just EXPECTS people to hate him. That thought alone is depressing tbh

In episode 21/22 when it’s first revealed that he’s part mutant then there’s this whole discussion between him and the purple meatball before he’s thrown into a cell with his ‘friends’ and they literally call him a ‘freak’ and ‘a person who let us down’ LIKE-??? HUH?? Do you know how crushing it is to have people you trust and consider family basically turn on you the moment they consider you a monster??? Sheriff probably was crushed. He cares for these people and they’ve just called him a freak and turned on him in an instant. And when they finally come around (gotta love vegan-su for that) THEY DONT APOLOGISE??? THEY ARE LIKE “okay cool we know we just called you a freak and basically betrayed you but we can be friends again.” NO APOLOGY OR ANYTHING??? AND SHERIFF JUST GOES WITH IT??? I understand this IS a kids show but they could’ve at least said sorry even if it sounded so insincere. But anyways- how desperate do you have to be for caring people in your life that you just accept back people who literally hated you less than a minute ago. I feel like he needs a day to be angry/upset and process wtf just happened and for his ‘friends’ to actually fucking apologise to him.

Ryan was not dead. He was the fucking supreme master. Imagine this: you’ve been led to believe your brother is dead and despite the guilt you manage to slightly recover only to find out he had been the one you have been trying to stop the entire time. Idk about you but that would feel absolutely terrible to me, to find out your brother is a villain and to have to fight him? At this point Sheriff is just being spoon fed trauma.

Uhm well pretty sure that’s it lol but I’m not too sure. Take everything written here with a grain of salt, it’s just me and my thoughts about Sheriff & his trauma (because who doesn’t over analyse a tv show character’s trauma?)

[zepskies]

Aw yay!! Thank you so much, friend. Starting off with a bang, so to speak. 😂❤️‍🔥

I broke! 🤣 I love innuendos like this!

LMfao SAME! It was very fun to try and capture that here. 😂

I snorted hard at that one 🤣 Oh sweet Lord and baby Jesus, he'd for sure say somethin' like that. Bless his heart 🤣🤣

Bless his heart, for the rest of him has already been blessed. 😏

Whoop! We have a hurdle 👀 Now, I shall wait who says the magic words first... 😈

Don't we always have some kind of hurdle with me. 😅 Ooh, I love a guessing game!

My crime-loving heart burns with passion every time I read classics like this 😍❤️ That's when you know shit's about to get good 😏 (We definitely watch too much Law & Order lol. Loved the SVU warning btw 😆)

Oh my God, WAY too much L&O! But I knew you in particular would appreciate my attempts at getting somewhat SVU with this.

Didn't want to get too graphic on it, so I held back some, but I'm so glad you appreciated those aspects. Especially since you have so much experience writing crime dramas! ("Murder cluser" -- I'm a nerd about those things too!! Trying to bring some authenticity over here. 🤏🏽 😂)

Yup, typical law enforcement (at least when you're passionate and care). I thought he'd be the exactly the same way – just drown in a case and forget your whole world around you in the process

Ugh yep, unfortunately, and we know this is already a pattern of behavior with Beau. Even more so on this case because it's literally striking too close to home.

Whoa, definitely don't mess with Y/N. Girl knows how to "silently treat" someone lmao 🤣

And I discovered this about her while trying to explore more of her character weaknesses. 😂😂 Experience has taught her the fine art of pettiness. 😌 (Lmfao Aubrey is the perfect example!)

Umpf... don't underestimate Beau either. He's playing dirty 😆

And not even realizing it! That bastard. 🤣

Yup, that's the one 😂 You've outdone yourself with the passive-agressiveness of this 👏😆

LOL I just love the phrase "deceptively calm." 🤣🤣

Ugh, the man is sweet but frustrates me sometimes. I can see him this innocently spinning around, too 🙄

HONESTLY. The way he even had to ask why she was mad. Like why are men seriously like this? I was legit having a conversation with my best friend about her boyfriend acting very similarly to this. 🙄🙄

Yup, there we go. I expected something like this. His "it's okay to be an asshat as long as you're saving someone/doing good" reminds me of someone... 👀

The way I chortled. Legit the perfect Dean gif for that moment. 🤣 (And 100% accurate AF.)

Ugh, typical creep behavior 😒 Show me you're a low-life criminal and perv without telling me you are... (btw: why do they always do this in shows and movies? Like, "Ooooh, look at me! If I hadn't been caught, you would've been my next victim" 😂)

Ugh ikr? That's exactly the feeling! Part of me kind of cringes making it so obvious, but at the same time, this could've become a whole new mini series if I wasn't careful and drew this out the way I could have. 😂😂

1983? I love you for this 😂 Please tell me more people got that reference 🙌

OMG Literally just you and one other person got that little reference, but I know I can always count on you!! 😂 🫶🏽

I mean, a little... But we all are sometimes, so we get it 😆🫶 I honestly hope that super creep doesn't come after her, now that he's out on bail. Poor woman has been through enough creepy serial killer trauma 🙈

Ha! I know, her pettiness is kind of understandable. But if she'd just answered his call, maybe what happens next could've been avoided...

(And I know, I'm fucking terrible aren't I? 🥲)

Welp, there we go! I spoke too soon lol. ZEP! You're gonna make this girl need life-long therapy! 😂 And poor Beau, he already blamed himself last time. He's gonna freak for sure now. This is all gonna get worse 🙈

And she was already in therapy! She'll definitely be giving that person more billable hours. 😬 Poor girl. AND poor Beau, for sure. It's going to take them both a while to work through this one. Like you said, as if they didn't have enough PTSD.

But I'm so glad that whole scene was able to keep you on the edge of your seat!! 🤩

“I’ll take you home, okay?” he said.

N'awwwww a callback 🥹🥹🥹

I love me a callback! 🥹💗 (And a title shoutout.)

Zep, omg! 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭 Why are you hitting me with all these feels? This is me and hubs ❤️

Oh yeah that's right!!! I told you, I would love to have a love like that. 🥹

Awww, she said it first and overcame her fear 🥹🫶 I already knew he felt the same 😏 He honestly should've manned up and said it already. We know he was feeling it and close to saying it in the series lol

Honestly I'm kinda wishing I had had him say it first for that reason! But I also thought he'd be one to let certain things be implicit through his actions (not like some other Jackles characters we know 🙄), until he finds the courage to be vulnerable in that way. 💗

Zep, I loved this one shot! It was amazing! Such a beautiful addition to this wonderful series 🥹❤️ Can't wait to see what else you come up with in this universe 🫶

Thank you so very much!! 🥹 I always feel blessed by your comments, and this time was no different! I was smiling ear to ear. 💕 There one more little one-shot (for now), and I see you already got to it!! Diving into your comments there next!

A Good Man Is Hard to Find

Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 

Summary: When Beau starts pulling away from you and Emily during a very difficult case, will the pressure make or break your relationship?

AN: This is a sequel story to the Take Me Home storyverse, set just a few months after Part 9!

Word Count: 5.5K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, a Law & Order: SVU-esque case, angst, perilous situations and violence, hurt/comfort and fluff.

Catch up on TMH: ⤵️

❤️ Take Me Home Masterlist

You took pleasure in the sounds you were pulling out of this man.

You continued to kiss down his neck. Each of your movements was slow and purposeful.

Your hips rolled against his, brushing your clothed, aching core against his risen length. His hands were like steel bands on your hips, not letting you leave even if you wanted to. He groaned.

“I needa get ready for work,” Beau chuckled. And he pointed out, “So do you.”

You smiled against his skin, and you gently dragged his flesh between your teeth.

“It’s still early,” you argued in his ear. You teased the shell of it with your tongue, making him shudder and rock his clothed hard-on between your legs. The wet tip of his cock dampened your panties further.

His hands moved down your thighs, caressing, squeezing, getting a handful of your ass in the process. Just as his fingers dipped under the satin hem of your panties, his phone buzzed on one of the nightstands. Beau let out a sigh of disappointment and reached over blindly for it.

He saw the caller ID and took in a breath to get himself together first. Even though he didn’t quite succeed, he answered the call.

“Mornin’, Jenny,” he greeted. You grinned.

“Tell her I said hi,” you whispered.

Beau shot you a “stern” look, though his lips curved at a smile. He mouthed at you to behave. 

You gave him a look that was cheeky at best.

“We caught a new case. If you want, you can meet us at the scene instead of the precinct,” said Jenny.

“Okay, where to?” Beau asked.

While Jenny gave him the directions, you used his distraction to your advantage. You shimmied out of your underwear and the overly large shirt you’d stolen from him last night. Then you drew down the waistband of his underwear and freed his cock into your hands.

“Okay, sounds g—” Beau was forced to pause on a sharp inhale.

“You okay?” Jenny asked.

“Y-Yeah. Just fine. Had a tickle in my throat,” Beau said.

"Okay, well just so you know," Jenny said, continuing to give him tidbits of information that he really should've been paying attention to.

He cleared his throat, shooting you an incredulous look. You didn’t pay him much mind as you began to touch him with care, from the weeping tip and along the shaft down to the base, even caressing his balls.

Beau’s furrowed gaze held yours as his breath faltered again. Your deft hands lined up his cock to your entrance. You teased yourself on the sensitive head of it, brushing it through your wet folds and against your clit. You had to bite your lip against a moan, but you didn’t quite manage to stifle the sound.

“Okay, Jenny. Thanks, I’ll see you there in a bit,” he said in a rush.

He hung up as soon as he could, but all the while, you were unrelenting. You finally sunk fully down on his cock, taking him all the way inside your wet heat.

Beau let out a strained groan and grabbed your arms. He sat up and pressed his forehead to yours. His lips formed a chiding smile.

“That wasn’t very nice,” he said. His voice was a bit rough, sending a shiver down your spine.  

“You want me to be nice?” you teased, beginning to let the full length of him slide out of you. You welcomed him back inside with a rock of your hips. “I just need a moment of your time, Sheriff.”

He nodded breathlessly. “Think I can manage that.”

You smirked and held onto the back of his neck as you rode him. You had a feeling you would find fingerprint bruises on your hips and thighs tomorrow, but this was worth it.

It took a lot to see Beau lose control, even in the bedroom. Now, he had a hand tangled in your hair and his lips fastened to your throat. He helped you move on him with a guiding hand on your hip. You slipped a hand from his shoulder and further parted your folds to find your clit.

But as Beau so often did, he moved your hand away so he could usher in your pleasure himself. He massaged your clit until your inner walls became almost too tight for him to drive up into you. Your thighs shook around his hips, and he managed to hold off on his own release until you came, hard on his cock.

You cried out near his ear and held onto his shoulders. He supported your collapse against his chest, but he still grabbed your hip tighter and rutted into you a few more times, until he was able to spill into you and fill you up to the brim with his warmth. You clenched on him on purpose, milking him for all he was worth.

Fuuuckin’ hell, he thought with a grunt, and he panted against your shoulder. He laid a belated kiss there.

“What a way to greet the sun,” he remarked.

You laughed breathily, caressing his cheek.

Beau was, inevitably, running late for work. He found that he was okay with that as he kissed you goodbye.

You were still in your robe and holding a mug of coffee. You didn’t need to be at work for another couple of hours. Your Tuesday classes didn’t start until 10:00 a.m.

“Have a good day, baby. I…” you trailed.

Certain words were poised on your tongue. Words that neither of you had said to one another just yet. Your heart started tripping up a bit as you realized it. 

Even though you’d known the truth of what you felt for him for a while now, you’d been very careful to let him say it first. You told yourself you didn’t want to pressure him, in light of his contentious divorce and how new this all still was between you and Beau…

But more often, you wondered if you were maybe projecting, considering your own rocky past. Maybe it was just self-preservation.

“Yeah?” Beau questioned. You waved him off with a nervous chuckle. 

“Nothing. I don’t know,” you said. “My coffee hasn’t kicked in yet.”

He just smiled and gave you one last kiss to the side of your head before he left your apartment.

Beau arrived at the scene of the crime: the parking lot of a movie theater. Jenny and Poppernak were already there inside the perimeter of yellow caution tape while the Forensics team did their thing. Jenny checked her watch when she saw the sheriff.

“What took you so long?” she asked. 

“Traffic,” Beau lied, his face warming. “What’ve we got?”

He quickly shifted his attention to the pool of blood staining the ground between his deputies. The path of his gaze led to the victim: a young woman wearing a blouse, skirt, and heels. The skirt was torn up to the hip. Her neck was cut, deep but clean.  

There were other signs of struggle; road burns on her right thigh, like she had been dragged. Jenny even found a can of pepper spray rolled under the victim’s car. 

“Maybe he was trying to get her to his car. She fought back hard enough that he cut his losses,” she theorized. 

Beau blew out a sigh and nodded grimly.

“Okay. Let’s get started.”

Two months gave the Lewis and Clark Sheriff’s Department two more murders. Both were women, presumably alone and late at night, and in the dimly lit, poorly secured parking lot of an establishment. 

Stressed didn’t begin to cover how Beau Arlen walked back into the precinct two hours before he truly had to. What little forensics they’d been able to uncover from each scene (and on the victims) let them to conclude that the suspect was male, and likely between 5’10” and over 6 feet tall.

As they now had a murder cluster, Beau and his team determined that the victims were found within a 5-mile radius. Both Emily’s school and the college where you taught were within that range.   

It had led Beau to long nights spent at the precinct and in town, researching, canvasing, working with his team to lock down possible leads. 

But those two months had also led him to cancel dates with you and plans with his daughter. He hadn’t stayed over your apartment in weeks. You’d spoken to Emily, and she told you he was often late in picking her up from school on his custody days with her. When she was with him, he always seemed distant, distracted.

It was all too familiar, Emily told you, and she hated it. 

You were worried and becoming increasingly frustrated. Any calls you made to him to check in were a few minutes at most, before he left you hanging to go back to work.

Beau had told you this was a difficult string of homicide cases, and very little else. You knew that he shouldn’t and couldn’t tell you too many details about the case, but you also couldn’t help but feel that he was pulling away from you…and leaving you in the dark. 

You’d just gotten home after a longer day than usual at work. Frankly, you were exhausted. All you wanted to do was shower and find whatever you could in your fridge to have for dinner. You didn’t care what it was at this point.

Before you could go rummaging, however, your phone started to ring. You sighed and went back to the purse you dumped on the kitchen table, and you saw that the call was from Carla. Your brows knitted in confusion. She’d been on a business trip in California for one of her higher-profile trial cases.

Carla was polite on the phone, but sounded a bit stressed.

“Emily just called to tell me that Beau hasn’t come by to pick her up from school. She’s been there for two hours,” Carla said.

Your eyes widened in surprise. “What? That’s not like him.” 

“I know, but he’s not picking up his phone. Is he with you?” she asked. 

“No, I just got home. He has to be still at work,” you said. You restrained a sigh as you grabbed your purse back up. “I can pick Emily up.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, in a relieved tone that suggested that was what she’d wanted all along, but she still wanted to be polite about it. 

“Yes, I’ll get her. Don’t worry,” you said. “And I’ll talk to Beau about this.”

“Good,” Carla said. “I appreciate that.”

After getting off the phone with Carla, you texted Emily and let her know you were coming to pick her up. She texted back:

Are you sure? I can just take an Uber to your place or something.

You replied:

No, honey. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be there in 15 - 20 minutes.

You didn’t manage to get ahold of Beau until you’d already picked Emily up from school. You braved through thirty minutes of traffic to get home again, and you stopped to grab dinner on the way.

Beau didn’t get to your apartment until later that night. You and Emily had a nice dinner of Tex-Mex takeout (though she’d said it was definitely better in Houston). He looked tired and apologetic as he went to hug his daughter first. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he said. “I just got held up at work.”

Emily nodded and tried to smile at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. 

“It’s fine, I get it,” she said. 

Beau knew his daughter well enough to see the truth. He sighed, but he went over to you in the kitchen next. You were putting away the leftovers. He laid a hand on your back and tried to kiss you in greeting, but you only gave him your cheek. 

You didn’t meet his eyes when you slid over the plate you’d set aside for him: a massive carne asada burrito with all the sauces, just like he liked it. 

Beau felt like an ass. 

You left him to heat up his food and went to Emily, who was helping to clear the kitchen table. 

“Do you need help with your homework?” you asked her. “I know you said you did some at school while you were waiting.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I’m pretty much done. I’ve got it.”

You smiled at her. “Okay, good job.”

The next item on your mental list was grabbing the bedsheets out of the dryer, to set up the pull-out bed from the couch later for Emily to sleep.

Beau watched you putter around the apartment while Emily settled in front of the TV with the remainder of her homework. He felt like an outsider with his own girlfriend and daughter…and there was an eerily familiar feeling churning in his gut. 

Later that night, you were reading in bed. Beau stepped out of the bathroom after a shower, with the towel wrapped around his hips, his chest and arms all dewy. You had to force yourself not to take notice.

You’d been missing him—practically aching for him for weeks, for two months. You were also upset with him though, and for more than one reason.

After he got dressed for bed in a long-sleeved shirt and some sweatpants, Beau once again noticed that deceptively calm look on your face. He knew that face, just as he sensed the tension in the air.

He sighed and came to sit on the edge of his side of the bed. Or at least, the side he’d claimed ever since he started sleeping over regularly here. Somehow, his own trailer had become a bit stale and lonesome, unless Emily was staying over. 

Beau watched your profile and saw the way you were trying your best to ignore him. 

“I get the feeling you’re mad,” Beau said, breaking the silence. “Sorry about today. I know Carla called you…I just got caught up with something at work.”

“Carla was right to call me,” you replied, though your eyes didn’t leave the page that you weren’t reading. Beau’s lips pursed. 

“Darlin’, would you look at me, please?” he asked.

You dropped your book into your lap, and you met his gaze. 

“All right, tell me. Why’re you mad?” he asked. 

You raised your brows with a tense frown.

“I’m upset with you. Because this is the first night you’ve spent here in over a month. And it’s not because you wanted to.” 

You shoved the blankets off your body and slipped out of the bed. Beau’s shoulders sunk a bit. 

“Come on, honey. You know that’s not—” he tried, but you weren’t done. 

No, you were very far from done.

“I’m upset with you, because every time I try to extend an olive branch and make plans with you, you reschedule at the last minute,” you snapped. “I’m upset with you because what few and far between conversations we do have? They consist of me trying to figure out what’s happening with you, trying to share with you about what’s going on with me—and you’re either half-listening, or you’re running off before the five-minute mark.”

Again, Beau opened his mouth to argue as his brows furrowed, but you beat him to it.

“And not to mention, you forgot your daughter,” you said. “You’ve been forgetting her, and you’ve been shutting me out.”

Beau stood along with you, his whole body tense with frustration. 

“Look, it’s not like I’m out there cheating on you! I’m doing my damn job!” he said. 

His words hit you like a physical blow. Your mouth fell open in soft shock. Tears even stung in your eyes.

“Reminding me of Michael,” you nodded in understanding. “Okay. Wouldn’t be the first time this month.”

Beau bristled; he didn’t think it was right for you to compare him to your bastard ex-boyfriend.

“Hey, that’s not fair,” he said.

"This isn't fair," you retorted, gesturing between you both with a pointed finger.

Beau's lips pursed. His jaw clenched as he averted his gaze, so he could better hold his tongue before he said something he might regret.

Too late...

Eventually, you stopped waiting for him to answer you.

Beau saw how you withdrew, both from the argument, and from him with a sigh. You crossed your arms and held yourself when you headed into the bathroom.

He internally deflated. Shit. 

Something told him that if Emily wasn’t occupying the only other sleeping place in this apartment, he’d have been booted out of your room.

Things were tense the next morning. 

Beau agreed to take Emily to school, since you picked her up yesterday. You gave Emily a hug before they left, and you had even packed her a good lunch for school. You knew she had to do that herself whenever she stayed at her dad’s place. 

And yes, while the teen was old enough and responsible enough to pack her own lunch, you just wanted to make sure she knew you were still in her corner, no matter what friction might be happening between you and her dad.

You and Beau parted ways that morning with tension still lying between you, just like it had been last night in your bed. After they headed out, you found yourself at a loss, feeling unbalanced.

You didn’t have a class today until noon, so you took the morning to truly think about what was happening here. Whatever Beau’s case was about, you knew it was serious and complex, and he didn’t want to talk about it, likely for your safety. 

All you could hope was that Beau, Jenny, Poppernak and the rest of the team were able to solve it quickly. You even began to wonder if it was fair of you to add stress on Beau’s shoulders when he was dealing with something that was clearly taking all of his energy, and making him distant with both you and Emily.

Blowing out a big sigh, you supposed you could try to be gracious one more time. You braved the annoyance of putting real clothes on—a blouse and work casual pants, as you later would have to go in to work. 

You first headed over to the precinct with your purse on one shoulder and a plastic bag hanging from your other hand. 

You entered the double doors and walked in past the reception desk, then through the bullpen. You noticed right away that there was a commotion going on, as you saw Jenny leading in a man handcuffed behind his back. You almost bumped into him as they crossed you in the hall. 

The man was tall and lean, with pieces of his coiffed dark hair falling over his sharp blue eyes. They found you, and his lips curved into a smile after he gave you a once-over. 

His smile made a shiver of unease prickle down your spine as you froze. 

“Keep moving, Casey,” Jenny ordered.

Beau was right behind her, though the moment he took in the exchange between you and Casey, Beau stalked forward and stepped in between, urging the other man forward with a firm hand on his shoulder and a stern look of warning.

Jenny and Popernak led the suspect into a room for questioning, while Beau’s hand found the small of your back and guided you into his office. 

He closed the door behind him and carded a hand through his hair. He let out a subtle breath and turned to face you. He didn’t look all that happy to see you, just tense. 

“What’s going on?” he asked. “Sorry, we’re a bit busy today.”

Before you could speak, he added, “Matter of fact, it’d be better if you called first next time.”

Your mouth snapped shut. Your brows knitted together in a glare, and you handed him the bag you carried in. It contained a nice hot sandwich and fries from Tonya’s diner, made by Donno himself.

“Here,” was all you said, before you walked out the door of the sheriff’s office. 

Beau watched you go in surprise, with the word “wait” halting on his tongue. His gaze traveled down to the open bag between his hands, and sure enough, the smell of a good meal hit him, making his mouth water and his stomach twist with guilt all at once.

Damn it, he sighed. But lunch (and a phone call to you) would have to wait. He set it down on his desk and hastened down the hall to where their suspect, in what had been dubbed the “Fall Murders,” had finally been arrested and held for questioning.

Casey Sanderson; ex-military, dishonorably discharged, an abusive mother in his childhood and an unstable mind following two tours in the Middle East had left him unbalanced, according to his friends from his unit.

His DNA was also discovered under the fingernails of the most recent victim, Christina Mendez. Two weeks ago, her body was found behind a gas station late at night, her neck carved by a knife, and bruises littering her arms and body. 

Beau entered the room where Poppernak and Jenny had already gotten started on the suspect. 

“Casey here has lawyered up,” Jenny informed him, though her gaze never left the suspect. They were forced to wait on further questioning until the lawyer arrived.  

“Ah, the Sheriff of Nottingham,” Casey remarked. His cool blue eyes watch with a measure of nonchalance as Beau stood behind his deputies, arms crossed. 

Casey nodded up at him. “Was that your girl out there in the hall?”

Beau’s formerly calm face turned to stone. 

Casey’s lips curved slightly. 

“Good taste,” was all he said.

His tone was mild, yet it still made Beau’s skin crawl. And his rage built, igniting his blood. He did everything he could to temper that wildfire into a simmer that rolled just underneath his skin. 

Jenny and Poppernak knew him well enough to see what he was thinking. Both of them watched him with hidden wariness and concern, especially when Beau stepped forward, placing one hand on the table between him and Casey Sanderson. Darkened green eyes met cool blue. 

“Where were you on November 2 between 10:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m.?” Beau asked.

Beau was irate when, a few days later, the ADA prosecutor called him at his office first thing in the morning to inform him of the latest news on Casey Sanderson. 

“What the hell do you mean he got out on bail yesterday?” Beau snapped. “We have DNA evidence.”

“He claims that he and Miss Mendez had consensual sex earlier that evening, in the women’s bathroom, of all excuses, but they parted ways after leaving the movie theater,” said the ADA. “As you know, we couldn’t put him directly at the gas station near the theater, where she was found. The defense lawyer convinced the judge that the remaining evidence is too circumstantial to warrant holding him without bail.”

Fuckin’ hell, Beau let out an angry breath, carding his fingers through his hair. He hung up with the ADA moments later. His cell phone lighting up with a notification drew his attention, even perking him up a little, but he deflated when he saw it wasn’t from you. 

Just Carla letting him know that she’d take Emily for the weekend this time, just like he’d asked. He felt bad for it, but he needed more time to concentrate on his cases. Sanderson was just one of many now, and Poppernak and Jenny couldn’t handle it all.

Beau tried to rub his tired face back to life, but once again, he thought of you. He still felt guilty, and he still missed you. Missed you like hell. 

He hesitantly picked up his phone and he called you, hoping you wouldn’t let it go to voicemail again.

Admittedly, you were being a bit petty. You were screening your boyfriend’s calls. 

However, if Beau Arlen wanted to see you, then he could get his ass up off that office chair and come to you this time. 

You were tired of giving out olive branches left and right. You didn’t deserve to be the one left waiting and wringing your hands, wondering if this man even cared about you…as much as you’d come to care about him. 

So you ignored his call—the second one today, and you prepared for your afternoon classes. 

Even after your classes were done for the day, you graded a batch of papers to get them out of the way. As much as you couldn’t wait to go home, you didn’t feel like doing more work when you got there.

Another hour and a half ticked by before you finished grading and inputting the percentages into the online gradebook. Then, with a weary sigh, you grabbed your purse and your workbag and headed down to the garage where your car was parked. 

You always tried to park in the same spot for faculty, in a space closest to the elevators. You found your car and put down your workbag in the backseat first. When you closed the door, you saw a figure in the window’s reflection. 

You gasped and turned around. A man covered your mouth as a scream tore from your throat and echoed loudly in the garage.

He shoved you hard against the car door, but thanks to a few self-defense lessons from both Jenny and Beau, the heel of your hand came up on reflex. 

It hit the man up the bridge of his nose with a crack. He shouted and reared back. When he pulled his hand back, it came away bloody. And you finally recognized him as the man you saw at the precinct: tall, thin, dark brown hair, angry blue eyes now staring back at you.

“Fucking bitch,” he chuckled. “Got some fight in you.”

Fear was a living thing inside you, but you somehow managed to force your body to move.

You scrambled for the driver’s door of your car and tried to open it, but the man shoved it closed, then grabbed at you once again. His forearm pressed across your chest and pinned you there.

The edge of a knife poised at your throat, making you freeze in panic. The blade teased your skin, hot breath against your cheek.

“Freeze, Casey!” came an angry shout. Both you and your attacker recognized that voice. Your breath was stifled in hope. Casey frowned in frustration. 

Just over his right shoulder, you saw Beau holding his gun aimed at the man who held you. His brows were drawn together, his entire body poised to react to whatever Casey did next. 

“Turn around, hands up high, and drop that knife,” Beau ordered. 

Casey’s mouth edged into a humorless smile. “Evening, Sheriff. Up for a date night?” 

He slid the blade just slightly against your skin, enough to draw a line of blood, and make you inhale sharply. 

“I’m not gonna say it again! Turn around and drop the goddamn knife,” Beau snapped. “Try anything else, and I’ll make a third hole in your spine.”

Letting out a breath through his nose, Casey’s façade of nonchalance fell. He released you, stepping back slowly with his hands held in the air. The knife slipped out of his hand.

Beau stalked towards him before it even clattered to the floor. You were frozen where you stood pressed against your car.

You watched Beau stow away his gun and wrangle Casey’s hands behind his back, slapping on some tight handcuffs, and getting the man onto his stomach on the dusty ground, his cheek pressed hard to the asphalt. Beau held him down with one hand while he fished for his cell in his pocket to call for backup on the arrest. 

Beau’s head lifted to catch your eyes. He gave you a reassuring look. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve got this,” he said.

His voice was warm for you, steady. When you nodded, it was a jerky motion as you held a hand to your racing heart. You then raised it shakily up to your neck and swiped at the trail of blood there. The wound itself was minor, just a sting, but it was a cold reminder of what could’ve been.

The wait for Jenny and the rest of the team was agonizing. 

Beau kept Casey on the ground, facing away from you. Eventually you were able to peel yourself off the side of your car and climb into the driver’s seat, just so you wouldn’t have to keep looking at the man who attacked you.

Jenny and Poppernak arrived within half an hour to haul Casey up and drag him into Jenny's SUV. That allowed Beau to return to your car and tap on the window of the driver’s side. You jolted and looked over to find Beau’s reassuring face. 

“They took him. It’s okay,” he said, only a little muffled through the door. You nodded and gestured for him to step back, so you could open the door. 

The moment you were on your feet and out of the car, you went into Beau’s waiting embrace. Hot tears welled up in your eyes. You hiccupped and struggled to breathe steady, but Beau held you tight and soothed a hand over your hair, down your back.

“It’s over, honey, I promise. I promise I’ve gotcha,” he said quietly in your ear. You nodded and let his warmth seep into you. 

“I’ll take you home, okay?” he said. “We’ll get your car tomorrow.”

You sucked in a trembling breath. 

“Please,” you agreed. “Take me home.”

“Am I going to have to testify in court?” you asked. 

Beau held you close in your bed later that night. You two had dinner together and had been rewatching old episodes of Friends to take both of your minds off what happened today.

Beau reluctantly nodded in answer to your question. 

“The ADA will probably ask you to, but…you can say no,” he said. “I’ll back you, whatever you decide.”

“No, I want to,” you said, even though the thought made you tremble inside. “That animal belongs in a cage.”

Beau silently agreed with you. He admired you for your vehemence, and your courage to even say that you wanted to testify against Casey. 

Beau laid a gentle kiss above your brow and continued to rub your back. You both had the blankets up to your hips with a bowl of popcorn balanced between his thigh and yours. He moved it over onto his nightstand so he could curl you more securely against him. You raised your head to consider him thoughtfully.  

“Why were you on campus?” you asked, as it finally occurred to you. “How did you know I was still there?”

“I thought I could catch you after your last class, so I went up to your office to see you,” he said. “But you weren’t there. A receptionist was on her way out though. She saw you head out a little while before, so I booked it back down to the garage to see if you were there.”

He was never more glad to heed his gut instinct. That was when he’d heard you scream.

The memory made his insides clench. Beau shook his head against the rest of it. He let out a heavy sigh.

“I’m so damn sorry for what happened. You gotta know, all this time, this is what I was trying to prevent,” he said, with pain written on his face. “But I’m also sorry that I shut you out. You and Em. I just didn’t know how else to keep you out of this. After what happened this summer…I wasn’t gonna let that happen again.”

With tears stinging in your eyes, you nodded. You knew now that he hadn’t meant to hurt you.

Beau Arlen truly was a good man, and that was hard to come by.

You shifted so that you were propped up on your elbow, resting on his pillow. You stroked his cheek. 

“I understand. And I’m sorry too. I know that your job can be difficult, and stressful, and sometimes dangerous,” you said. “But I need you to talk to me. If we’re going to do this for the long haul, we need to communicate. I can’t be left in the dark like that again, Beau. I just can’t…"

It was your turn to sigh. "It feels too close to what I went through with Michael. Being lied to. Being told what I wanted to hear, never actually knowing what was going on, until it was too late.”

You admitted that last part with a hitch of emotion in your voice, meeting Beau’s eyes. His were full of remorse.

“I know. Again, I’m sorry. I promise, I’m gonna work on it,” he said, nodding. He planned to make it up to his daughter too. He would talk to her tomorrow.

You drew his attention back with the hand caressing his cheek.

“I just don’t want anything like that to happen to us. I love you too much,” you said. A tear worked its way down your cheek. “Beau, I love you.”

Beau grasped your hand, holding it to his cheek. His furrowed expression eased, and his lips slowly turned up into a smile. A true one, hinting at all the charm that was unique to this man. You’d missed that smile. 

He dried your cheek with a gentle hand. 

“Well that’s good,” he said. “Because I don’t think I’ve loved you more than I do right now.”

You laughed through more of your tears, and let him guide you into a tender kiss. One sparked another, and more, each one more searing than the next.

Beau’s fingers disappeared into your hair, just as your legs tangled themselves between his when he rolled you over, and underneath him, where he continued putting actions behind his words. 

He gave you a promise that night, one that you’d both try to hold yourselves to in the morning.

AN: Ahh, I'm soft. This feels like the more "official" end to Take Me Home, though I'd be open to come back to these two if new ideas hit me. But until then, let me know what you thought of this one! 😘

Keep Reading:

Here's a drabble set directly after this one-shot. It's called A Crime of Passion:

Summary: When Beau Arlen decides to “make it up to you,” he’s damn thorough.

▶️ Next Story: A Crime of Passion

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Take Me Home Masterlist

Big Sky Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Tag List (Part 1):

For those of you with tag lists, Tumblr is doing a weird thing again with tags. I had to separate them 5 at a time for the hyperlinks to work on each blog! So annoying lol.

@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007

@wincastifer @iamsapphine @roseblue373 @brianochka

@branj19 @globetrotter28 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @ades106 @charmed-asylum

@waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady

@leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @emily-winchester @xiphoidbones @skoveu

@nyotamalfoy @kmc1989 @deans-baby-momma @tabsluvsu @samanddeaninatrenchcoat

@deanwanddamons @anticxrrupt @lacilou @deans-daydream @deans-spinster-witch

@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @iprobablyshipit91

@ladysparkles78 @solariklees @lostin-jensenseyes @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731

@curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @deanfreakingwinchester @chernayawidow

[xijura]

Sooooo I'm re-reading Heroes of Olympus and just finished House of Hades. If you've been around here you've probably guessed that Nico Di Angelo is my favourite character.

This book annoyed me to Tartarus and back.

I want to rant a little so let's take a look at these together.

Every time someone is around Nico they think about how disturbed or freaked out they are in his presence. And we know this because we are literary IN THEIR HEADS.

The only person who thinks about him with compassion or understanding is Hazel. (Because she's the best).

She relates to his experience through hers. Which makes sense because they are similar in so many ways yet different. And I guess you could argue that it's easier for her because she is his sister and he is her only living relative, but every one of the seven has some kind of trauma in their past, they are on this epic quest together knowing that their failure would mean the end of the world. They have to trust each other if they want to survive but at no point are they like "what if we got to know this dude in case he was my only way of getting out of a sticky situation?" or you know "what if I tried to understand his powers better so if needed we could devise strategies combining our strengths to make an effective team?". This is baffling to me.

I guess the series is more focused on the action and monster fighting than team bonding and friendship. Which is a loss. Especially since they still find time somehow to all end up in romantic pairs. (I can't believe we were told that Hazel and Piper bonded over their power and swordfight training but never got to see any of it)

And what the fuck with Percy going around telling people that Nico is a traitor and whatnot? #NotMyPercy

So to get back on track, can someone explain this to me?

First of all, this is pure hypocrisy on Jason's part since it took him a very long time to decide which side he was on. He knows how hard it is to struggle between who you are and the ways others see you, what they expect of you. So why would he say this as if not only is Nico being a coward (makes me mad just writing this) but also a stubborn child? Especially after he had a small yet very powerful front seat view to Nico's pain?

And Will... Not only was he the equivalent of Thalia joining the hunters, Calypso staying on Ogygia and Rachel becoming Oracle (as if percabeth is so fragile a ship anyone being single could break it. Shows how unfit for each other they really are but whatever) he also dropped out of nowhere to completely invalidate Nico's very canonical experience. Hate this guy.

Nico can see people's reactions to his presence, he is not blind nor is he stupid. So why do we have this? If just being in the room while it is absolutely required makes people on edge why would Nico think that it's okay to sit by their side and make small talk and laugh about stupid stuff. Did logic jump off the Argo II when the seven boarded?

Why would Nico be unjustified to think this?

Yes, sometimes reality is warped by our own self loathing, and I'm not saying that it is not partly the case here, but this is all just ridiculous. It's like Riordan forgets stuff as soon as it's written down.

Oh, and this:

I love how they both find it weird that someone has Nico's back for once. As if it's not something a friend or even a teammate would be expected to do.

[puredramione]

My 2020 Reading List - Dramione

This year, I’ve read way more dramione than I’ve ever read, and I’ve been reading it for 7 years now. I even read things, tropes, I had never bothered with before. 2020 may not have been a kind year, but in the dramione community it has been a wonderful year of reading for me. Please be aware I may spoil some plot lines to dramione fanfictions you haven’t read yet. I have tried not to as best as I can. But anyway below is 20 fics I’ve read this year that have been there for me when I needed them. No particular order. Just a lot of love for these fics.

Wait and Hope - by @mightbewriting - memory loss is one of my favourite tropes but this story. I have never cried over a couch before. But this story. From the moment she first awakes in St Mungo’s to that beautiful ending, I was hooked. I loved how the story left me with not really a care about whether or not Hermione got her memories back. Those bloody text messages 💔 a journey I’ll never forget.

The Unofficial Diary of an Omega - MrsRen - my first time reading anything omegaverse. It still isn’t my favourite trope. I much prefer Veela for some reason 🤷🏻‍♀️ but overall it was a good story, just not my thing.

Apple Pies and Other Amends by ToEatAPeach - I actually gave up on this story the first time I read it. Unsure as to why because the story as a whole is just amazing. Baking and dramione? Yes please! Also dealing with their psychological trauma after the war? Heck yes! The relationship in this story develops at a lovely pace. There were moments I was on edge, others I was smiling ear to ear whilst reading this. Definitely one of my favourites now.

In Search Of Sunrise - @indreamsink - actually just reread this and I still get that warm feeling in my chest. So turns out my break up hasn’t made me lose the ability to enjoy dramione falling for each other. Anyway, the story was so heartwarming, like if I were to describe it as anything I would describe it as a hug. The best non-date fic there is.

Sex and Occlumency - Graendoll - this was the start of my slippery slope into reading smut stories. Like I had read smut before, obviously but I didn’t pay it much attention, normally just swiped past 😂 but this one was a completely different story.

Manacled - @senlinyu - this is truly the most beautifully haunting story I’ve ever read. I remember when I first started reading it, I thought to myself, how the hell could I ever ship dramione in this world? Then those flashbacks. Fuck those flashback chapters were a punch in the gut. The way everything links and connects. I love it’s realistic ending. I often think of this story in the shower cause I had to force myself to go shower whilst I read this cause I honestly couldn’t put it down. And SPOILER, but I laughed so hard at a certain characters death even though I probably shouldn’t have but she was such a bitch. I get flashbacks myself of this story. I’ll be in the shower and I’ll remember a certain sentence, a certain scene in my head as if I truly walked with Hermione on this heart wrenching journey. But fuck manacled Harry, I hate that boy.

He Becomes by @abromaposts - I needed this story. This was the first thing I read after Manacled. Draco Malfoy looking after rabbits with the sole reason being to get close to Hermione, yes please. Rabbits are my favourite animals. It’s just so much fluff. And after Manacled I was grateful.

The Right Thing To Do - @lovesbitca8 - this was the bookshop, slow burn, fluffiness I needed in the summer. The start of a truly wonderful universe. Idiots in love, I’ve never went through so much second hand embarrassment. Every interaction between Hermione and Lucius was fantastic. Especially the final one! Every character was written to a way that I loved them so much. Plus this story makes you think (like the rest of the series) it doesn’t spoon fed you information.

All The Wrong Things - @lovesbitca8 - I never thought I’d be into first person POV. The last thing I read like that was The Hunger Games back in school, many years ago. But I truly felt as if Draco were telling me the story. I love how it filled in things we never seen in the first story. I love Draco’s characterisation. Unlike TRTTD, this feels more lighthearted. Could just be the horny Draco though and his dramatics?

The Auction - @lovesbitca8 - this story. where do I start? When I started reading this story I was in a completely different life. This story has seen me through a terrible time in my life. Honestly the last few chapters before the final chapter were a blur and I had to go and reread them cause my head was all over the place but the story. This story, on it’s own, I would say is better than any fiction I’ve ever read 🤷🏻‍♀️ it grips you, pulls you in. Every question you ask, you get answered with a ribbon and bow. I cannot express my love, for this story and for the hard work that has went into it. The characters in this world so vastly different yet similar to the ones we already learned to love. I could write a love letter to this story.

Hindsight by @floorcoaster - if you haven’t been following this year long, monthly updated story, then you’ve really missed out. Each chapter is a month of the year. The story starts with Hermione planning to trim down her calendar for the year ahead. Although it’s fiction it gave me a sense of hope for my future. I had started this year on a different note than Hermione, and I’m now ending it on a different note as well. I think this story does a good job of capturing the passage of time and just how quickly things can change. I also really love these adorable idiots in this story.

Bring Him To His Knees by @willhavetheirtrinkets (WIP) - the best co-worker, friends to lovers, fake relationship story I’ve read. No question. I sent @magicaltraveler3 a tearful voice memo after that last chapter that was posted (chapter 20). It isn’t the first time I’ve cried at a fanfic, but it is the first time that I predicted something bad would happen, but I didn’t expect the bad thing to be what it was. I can’t wait to see where this story goes. At this point I have completely forgot about the murder plot. I know it exists, and we’ll get back to the murder but I’d honestly read the characters in this story eating breakfast.

The Flat In Bath by @adaprix (WIP) - this was the first story I got into that ada has wrote. Instantly I was fascinated with the use of “flat” over “apartment”. Being Scottish I knew this was someone British. Anyway, a very interesting story and I can’t wait to see how the rest of it plays out.

Good by @lovesbitca8 - I am dying for the update of this story. As so many are, it is 🔥🔥🔥 all I can say. I can’t wait for the update!

The Erised Effect by @adaprix - When ada first told me she was thinking about writing a story about Pansy and Hermione working in a sex shop together. Telling me about having the idea of them meeting in the pub and how she “needed to get some filthy smut out of your system”. I didn’t think it would be my thing. Boy, did she prove me wrong!

The Cell by WrathOfMacy - I don’t know how I came to read this one. But damn, this was a good one (who am I kidding they’re all good ones). I���m still reading through it though. It’s a warfic in which Dramione end up locked in a cell together. The relationship builds nicely. I cannot wait to read more of it.

The Melody Of Touch by @magicaltraveler3 - I never knew I needed a dramione story like this story. I love that there is so much musical imagery incorporated into it. I haven’t read anything like it before. The story, the smut, the taxi and the freaking art work. It is everything!

Every Day, a Little Death by @lovesbitca8 - I’ll be honest with this one. I read the first chapter and the last chapter 🙈 BUT only cause everyone scared me so much. I plan to revisit. SPOILER. I may not care too much that Hermione cheated. Just me? Like yeah I hate cheating and she shouldn’t have done it, but like she admitted to it, and was very regretful for it. Anyway, the chapters I read were very interesting I look forward to revisiting it sometime.

Away by @indreamsink - written for the romcom fest and I got to say I think this one may be my favourite from the fest. Not only do you get dramione but you get the amazing side pairing of Harry/Pansy, which this year has really became my favourite side pairing. It’s like reading two love stories at once, I was interested in the dramione plot line obviously, but I was equally interested in the hansy/potts&pans plot line.

The Path Unexpected by @magicaltraveler3 - this story is a cute little domestic dramione fanfic. And I lived for it. It shows dramione going through the process of having a child and honestly, they’re so damn cute in this fic. The fanart is next level also!

[bottombaron]

spoilers for what if...?

some quick thoughts on the first Marvel What If...? episode that are almost all Bucky related big surprise:

i froth at the mouth at any small moment of pre-ws!Bucky like a stranded survivor of a shipwreck. yes pls all of it, i need more. my desire to know who traumatized characters were pre-trauma is like an un-quenchable thirst.

that being said, i'm loving the idea the Bucky was just...a big fucking himbo. a nerdy silly himbo. there's nothing more satisfying than a super pretty competent person wowing you with some big time dork energy.

his lines were so groan worthy which is why i loved them. looking back it's a pretty obvious choice to make Bucky Barnes pre-Winter Soldier just Bucky Barnes from the comic books. he tells bad jokes, he's a damsel in distress, he's there for a reaction shot or two, and best of all he's got the worst one-liners.

my kingdom for Bucky of today going back to his bad one liners, honestly i would pay marvel to have Bucky throw a knife in someone's face, blood is everywhere, and he just goes, "knife to meet you." (Sam is floored. he goes through the 5 stages of grief in ten seconds and ends up laughing so hard his lungs hurt. redwing has it recorded and sam revisits it when he needs to)

the part where Steve gets back into the Hydra Smasher and falls on his face is peak stevebucky tho. Bucky is unconcerned, makes light of it, and there's even some light teasing. i have to highlight this for the purpose of Bucky's characterization in fanfic in terms of how he treats Steve, especially pre-serum Steve: he doesn't baby him. he doesn't mother-hen or overprotect Steve. he knows Steve is tough, he's spent years picking him up off of alleyway pavements, he's not going to act like a helicopter mom.

which i really appreciate because i'm tired of the treatment of Bucky as not also being a reckless kid in this war. Steve and Bucky don't have the dynamic of the Reasonable Adult and their Troublesome Kid i've seen sometimes in fic. they're both hooligans. Bucky comes off as the more cautious one sure, but it's just slightly. and that very slight difference gets overblown sometimes which feels disingenuous to a character that's in his 20s (like do you know bros in their 20s,,,do you?? they're still trying to run up walls and do backflips. they still think they're invincible. 20 year old men are the stupidest people on the planet. and i can say that as a man almost 30) and, by all accounts, ran mayhem in Brooklyn right next to his best friend.

just. don't forget Bucky Barnes is a young stupid pretty himbo okay?

speaking of disingenuous characterizations: what was that hetero bullshit with Peggy being more distraught over Steve's 'death' than Bucky????

are.you.kidding.me.

i feel this righteous anger burning over this, which i'm sure will come to a bigger rant at some point but really? fucking really?

this is it. this is what straight people do. this is the straight agenda.

this isn't even just about Steve and Bucky they do this kind of bullshit all the time in media: character 1 has a long-lasting deep friendship with character 2. character 1 has a romantic subplot with character 3. character 1 and 3 barely know each other. character 1 dies and character 3 is somehow more distraught about this than character 2.

i fully expected Bucky to start trying to climb down the mountain to find Steve but nope!

he's just 'oh nooo~ he ded. whelp lets go hoes'

while the woman who knew Steve for maybe a few months is doing the Darth Vader 'noooo' moment

this does not make any character, story, or emotional logical sense. there's no fucking reason for this bullshit than blatant homophobia.

like fucking fine, lets not see Steve and Bucky interact in any way because I WONDER WHY

but even better

lets have Bucky not really emote over Steve's death, because a. that's gay, we don't want people to think we write gay characters (don't worry marvel we don't) so two men can't care or mourn for each other onscreen. and b. we've got our hetero romance to sell

Peggy Carter is a professional military woman. with experience.

Bucky Barnes is some kid from Brooklyn whose been fighting in a war he's been drafted in for maybe some handful of months.

but sure. yeah. his childhood best friend dying. he's the one whose going to have the professional cool head in this moment.

and it's the PROFESSIONAL MILITARY WOMAN whose going to forget her job and training and need to be pulled from grieving BY THE MAN WHO'S BEST FRIEND JUST 'DIED'

SURE JAN SURE

it's the homophobia that betrays the logic of the characters that really fucks me up y'know?

if you're betraying the honest emotional reactions of story and character because you're afraid of those things being perceived as gay: you're homophobic.

it's really that simple.

'i'm in. for Steve' lol. like god. i'm as tired as seb sounds i swear

and i know Sebastian '~the truth of the character~' Stan probably felt like his teeth were being pulled out with hot pliers reading these. how many times did the voice director have to say, 'ok. can we try it like you're not slowly decaying from the inside, hunny?'

barely any howling commandos and none of them had any lines other than Dum Dum. ok. yeah. ok.

so some high notes:

return of my favorite Stark: 1940's Howard!

i would die twenty times just to be able to see more of Dominic Cooper's Howard Stark. he's just the fucking best. earnest and cute and a bit of a mad scientist and i fucking adore him

i need the Howard Stark + Bucky Barnes sitcom now. pls and thank you.

i'll even take 5 minute vinaigrettes of the antics they'd be up to. two playboy nerds together is just a magical event, don't waste it! i can't believe i've been sleeping on this dynamic it's too good.

"BARNES STOLE A CAR"

i will be replaying this single moment for years. the serotonin it gives me.

stark is just. the most excited man ever to have seen someone hotwire a car??? how did this scene go i need to knoooooowwww

all frustrations aside, it was really cool to see Peggy Carter as Captain Britain. she's a great character and i love her so much. every moment she was legit thrashing n*zis with her big butch arms was thrilling and satisfying.

that truck shield flip is still doing things to me...

honestly upset that the sword Peggy was wielding wasn't a Zemo easter egg like i was hoping it was 😩

[fuckyeahnightmares]

Halloween Kills (An Hour of my God Damn Life)

Anyway, I paid 4.99 for peacock (with ads!) so I could review this movie. Give me notes.

I went in with the notion that this movie would be mid. I liked the first movie and I really like the director so I thought I’d try to clear my head of expectations and let the movie speak for itself.

What is this movie?

Bad.

How scary is it?

It’s not. I feel like everyone has seen Michael Myers do his thing enough to the point there’s no way the image of him popping out can be scary.

At some point someone says, “There’s something in our house, and I don’t think it’s kids,” which would be scary in a different movie, if it created some suspense as to what exactly is in the house and let our imagination run wild, if we didn’t know the fate of these characters. But in this movie, it’s Michael Myers. If the people in the house simply leave, then they are safe. But if they decide to stay for whatever reason, they’ll die. It’s as simple as that.

Jump scares?

Uh, kind of? Maybe? Maybe Michael pops up sometimes, but it doesn’t really do much.

Is there blood and gore?

It’s the only thing this movie has going for it besides Dylan Arnold’s hair and Judy Greer.

On a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being Al-- actually, Halloween Kills is the new 10), how dumb were the characters?

Imagine watching a bunch of people walking into a woodchipper and then thinking to yourself, “Well, I’m built different,” and proceeding to walk into said woodchipper, naked. That’s a decision every single character not named Michael Myers makes in this movie.

Does the story make logical sense if you think about it too long?

No.

Can’t you just enjoy it as a dumb fun slasher flick?

If it fucking LET ME.

The thing about this franchise is, the 2018 Halloween was actually good. It was a lean, mean slasher movie that didn’t reinvent the wheel but had some interesting things going on in its head with Laurie’s PTSD and that fracturing her relationship with her family.

This movie also tries to have deeper themes. It forgets those along the way. It feels as if it’ll have something to say about making sure the next generation doesn’t experience the same trauma, then a man who has Michael Myers PTSD takes his son on a Michael Myers-hunting stroll about town. There is also a weird mob mentality storyline that says nothing and adds nothing but 15 minutes of brain-killing runtime.

There are a gazillion characters in this, and this movie lets you latch onto exactly zero. Jamie Lee Curtis hangs out in a hospital gown for 15 minutes before cashing her check. The camera lingers meaningfully while introducing or re-introducing various characters who you think will provide some narrative cohesion and emotional weight to the story. Then they don’t. They probably get up and run naked into the woodchipper and call it a day. One character gets like a 15 minute flashback sequence then has probably 5 minutes of present day screen time. Anthony Michael Hall says one emotionally complex sentence and then is directed to act like an angry Elmer Fudd for all his other scenes.

And then the drama. It wants you to feel awful about some kills, and then it makes some kills kind of funny. Having someone goofily assist Michael Myers in their own murder in one scene and then having someone grieving over their loved one’s corpse in another is some tonal whiplash more brutal than any of the executions.

It feels as if this movie was made in spurts. As if they had to pause production because of Covid multiple times, but every time they resumed production, they had completely forgotten what they were going for last time they were all together. I wish I could forget the same way. 2/10

I liked the intro thing with the burning pumpkins.

Spoiler-y thoughts below

I guess Big John and Little John were kind of fun.

I would have decked that skull kid who took all the candy. Crushed him.

“Since Laurie is in the hospital, I wonder if the main characters in this movie are gonna be the doctor and nurse... nevermind.”

I thought that dude who played Joe Collie in Midnight Mass, the dude who Michael let live as a kid, was going to have some meaningful encounter with the killer. Nope. Dude gets fucking stuffed.

Dude’s son also gets destroyed.

That was Theo from You. Damn. But this franchise could take some cues from You on how to balance the fucking tone in a murderfest.

They seem to bring back characters from the dead all willy-nilly, and it looked like Michael was just stabbing Judy Greer’s arms. She was blocking like she was playing RE, so I kinda doubt she’s dead.

Michael Myers is immortal. Sure.

I would have crushed him. Just built different.

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[onceupona-chaos]

Why keep an open mind about Elain

(And why her book will slap hard)

When I was writing this one-shot right here, I read a few posts about Elain as a spy, some of them liked the idea, others didn't. Which is totally ok, if you don't, of course. I also reread a lot of scenes from the books to understand better how this could play out.

But I came across some comments about how Elain being a spy would make her "lose her characterization" or be "out of character". So I wanted to talk a little about it. This post will be discussing those comments specifically and why you should keep an open mind about Elain.

NOTE: As usual, sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language. I really hope I made myself clear. If you have any comments, I would love to hear them. Be kind!

1. Elain as a character

The first reason I don't believe that argument is because ACOSF made it clear that we know very little about Elain. So how can we say it would be something out of character for her when we barely know her as a character?

So far, we only have other characters points of view on Elain: a person who has a sweet temper. But ACOSF came to tell us that there is another side of her. Nesta expected Elain to cry because of Graysen. She didn't. Elain didn't back down from her fight with Nesta, she didn't hesitate when it came to the Trove or the Hewn City, she laughed when Nesta told her to fuck off. In every single of those moment, Elain's behavior is emphasized by one reaction of the others: surprise.

"You think I’m to blame for his death?” Challenge filled each word. Challenge—from Elain, of all people.

"Elain showed some teeth," I observed. "I wasn't expecting that."

And this is nothing new. Look at what we have in ACOFAS:

and Elain—Elain—had taken up Azriel’s dagger and killed the King of Hybern instead.

The last two books highlight that 1) we don't know everything about her and 2) we expect one behavior from her.

But most importantly: she often doesn't correspond to what it is expected of her, especially in ACOSF.

And then we have this:

With time and safety, perhaps we'll see a different side of her emerge.

But I also think we haven't yet seen all she has to offer.

And before this makes someone think Elain will not get a book because we don't have much on her character, this is exactly what books are for. To develop a character. Before ACOSF, Nesta didn't have much development either. We had seen ACOFAS lay the background for her, the same way ACOSF laid the background for Elain's story.

Elain will surprise us. Sarah is practically screaming that at this point. So before judge something as out of character, we need to have in mind that Elain will have her arc and by the end of it, she will be different, she will grow. Which leads me to:

2. In order to be developed, characters need to change

Before ACOSF came out, lots of people said Nesta would never be a warrior, especially because of this line:

And why must I train at all? I am no warrior nor do I desire to be. (ACOWAR)

And I understand. I really do. But we went from that to Nesta not only becoming a Valkyrie, but also thinking about starting a small unit of females. Yes, that line is back in ACOWAR. However, in ACOSF Gwyn and Emerie said the exactly same thing:

Gwyn gestured to Nesta's fighting leathers, the overlapping scales. "I'm not a warrior".

Emerie's face yielded nothing, as blattle-hardened as Azriel's. "I'm not interested in a warrior's training".

There's a difference between developing a character and doing something out of character.

Elain already is passing through an internal change, which means SJM is preparing her for her arc. So we have to keep in mind that Elain will pass through challenges, changes in her journey, where she will learn new lessons, abilities. She will face and deal with her traumas and flaws, because she will be developed as a character. Of course, her essence will still be there, but in order to grow, she needs to change as well.

At this point lots of things happened to her, now we will see Elain making things happen. Changes like that are inevitable, necessary, but not out of character.

Now, if Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie became warriors, why would it be so out of character for Elain to become a spy?

Personally, I think if Elain became a warrior, that could be considered out of character, because Sarah already told us that her strength comes from a different place:

Elain had always been gentle and sweet—and I had considered it a different sort of strength. A better strength. To look at the hardness of the world and choose, over and over, to love, to be kind. She had been always so full of light.

Of course, this is Feyre's Pov, but is also SJM talking about Elain's nature.

We have to understand the difference between characters' point of view and what SJM is trying to tell us. For example, Nesta in ACOSF had one perception of Elain ("she is like a dog"), but SJM emphasized Nesta's perception as not correspondent to Elain's behavior. How? Using that scene where Elain talks about Nesta's dancing. in that moment, Cassian and the readers realized Nesta's point of view was biased, non correspondent to what Elain was showing us in that scene.

I'm saying that because there's a difference between narrator and author. But this is another discussion entirely.

But I truly believe from what we have seen so far, Elain isn't the warrior type. And despite the fact that we had just read ACOSF, therefore another book about warriors training doesn't sound so appealing, from what we had seen until now, Elain's has potencial (build up) to go to another direction, one that we haven't seen yet.

3. Elain already has what it takes

I want to look at this:

I wondered if Rhys’s spymaster often got his information through stone-cold manners as much as stealth and shadow.

My sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles.

For the record, Feyre said this in ACOWAR and these both scenes are very close to each other.

Spying is not all about shadows and stealth. Azriel works from the shadows, but if Elain can be so lovely and convincing that anyone would do anything for her, she could be a different kind of spy. And with her Seer powers, she could be a valuable one. As much or even more than the Night Court spymaster. Look at this:

Shadowsingers are rare—coveted by courts and territories across the world for their stealth and predisposition to hear and feel things others can’t.

We know Elain can be almost as stealthy as Azriel. And she is a Seer, which means she can See and hear things others can't, too. Not to mention we already have seen that she is observant and knows how to keep a secret.

Elain pushed, “We keep it secret—we send the servants away [...] No one will know.”

“I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”

Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why.

Not only she is observant, but also knows how to read people, to understand them. Look at these scenes where Nesta said basically the same thing, but Feyre didn't understand her. Elain on the other hand...

With Feyre:

“Father would want you to—”

“Don’t you finish that sentence.” Despite the sound shield around us, there was nothing to block the view of my sister baring her teeth. The view of her fingers curling into invisible claws. A scene. This was about to become a scene in the worst way. (ACOFAS)

With Elain:

"[...] if Father were here—”

“Don’t ever mention him.” Nesta bared her teeth, but kept her voice low. "Never fucking mention him again.”

Pain slowly washed over Elain’s face. And understanding. “Is that what this is all about? Father?” Silver lined Elain’s eyes, but her voice remained steady, sure. “There was nothing that could have been done to save him, Nesta." (ACOSF)

Elain understood exactly what was going on with Nesta.

Nothing is more telling to me than this, and I highly doubt SJM didn't want to show us not only Nesta's internal issues, but how Elain can understand and read very others very easily as well.

Elain also understood when Feyre wasn't sure about buying gifts. And not get me started on Azriel's bonus chapter, where it's emphasized repeatedly that they can read and comprehend each other without necessarily saying what they meant. This shows a connection between them, yes, but also a skill.

Just imagine how valuable and rare she would be for the Night Court.

And the best part is it wouldn't be out of character, because she already presented those features. Besides, Elain can be lovely, delicate and be a bad ass spy (or whatever she wishes to, tbh) . Even better: she can use those characteristics in her favor.

Do not forget what Rhysand said: Elain is sweet and she is not afraid of get her hands dirty. We just haven't seen that yet, because SJM will show us that in her book. Simple as that.

4. Elain being a spy attends SJM's pattern

In every book (or series) so far we had a female character learning something new. Feyre learned how to control her powers (and to read), Nesta learned how to be a warrior. I think it's safe to say that Elain will learn something in order to be developed as a character.

You could argue she could learn anything, which is fair. But in ACOSF we learned that Elain can be stealthy as well. SJM emphasized it again and again, and there is no way in hell she did that just for fun. It's safe to say by now that even if she doesn't become a spy, this ability will play a role in her book.

A few examples that we all know too well by now:

Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.”

"You came,” Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.

She'd leave her gift amongst his other, opened presents, subtle and unnoticed.

What is curious is that stealth is associated with Azriel, but also with Nuala and Cerridwen, Elain's friends. (Here, I highly recommend this amazing post for more on this friendship and what it means to Elain’s future).

I don't have a doubt the next book is about Elain, it will be her book. So you can't tell me the fact that her friends and love interest are spies is just a coincidence or that won't mean anything. Not when Elain herself has already started to show that she can be just as stealthy and subtle as any of them.

In this scenario, we have:

Elain learning how to be a spy with Azriel, whilst they work together to find the Trove and help each other to heal from their issues.

A female main character learning something new with the help from her love interest whilst they work together to solve a problem connected to the main plot and help each oher to heal from their issues.

I PRESENT YOU THE SJM'S PATTERN.

I know some people like or don't like this theory because that would mean Elain would have a connection to Azriel or because they don't like her becoming "similar to Azriel".

But the thing is: they already share a connection, they know each other for almost two years now and most of their interactions happened "off-screen", so they don't need her to become a spy to want to be together. They already do.

And mostly important, she wouldn't become similar to Azriel, because Elain already has the required features. We don't know much about her, but so far what we do know is: she is stealthy and a good secret keeper. She knows how to read and understand people. She can hear and see things others can't, because she is a Seer, and she can be convincing af.

Most of those were emphasized again in ACOSF concomitantly with Elain's another side. (Tell me again the next book isn't about her).

And again: a female character learning something with her love interest is SJM's pattern. We've just read a book that follows this exactly structure. Are we going to say Nesta or Feyre lost their characterization because they learned and now share the same abilities as Cassian and Rhys?

SJM already answered that for us in ACOSF:

“Does it undermine my image as a warrior to be with you?”

“No. Does it undermine Feyre’s when she’s seen with Rhys?”

This is so telling, I literally stopped my reading at this. We tend to put this passage aside because of what comes next (Cassian being very discreet and screaming he's Nesta's mate to every single soul in Velaris to hear), which is totally fair. But right there, SJM is telling us that female characters sharing abilities with their love interests is no reason to undermine them. On the contrary, in her books this is a way for them to heal togheter.

Knowing SJM, Elain being a spy along with Azriel, Nuala and Cerridwen wouldn't be nothing new. We have seen this story over and over again.

We have so much build up for this, I could go on and on and on. And before someone says this won't work because Azriel has to stay away from her, just take a second to think about how much tension we would get if they are forced to work together in order to find the Trove (or any other reason that SJM will come up with). We'll have a story full of secrets, tension, drama, angst, passion, desire, love. Things too easy don't make a good story.

But at the end, even if she does not become a spy, I just think we have many possibilities for Elain and an amazing story ahead of us. I really want people to keep an open mind about her and her book and not judge too harsh amazing possibilities as out of character. If Nesta hadn't became a warrior, we wouldn't have known the Valkyries. So maybe, when you judge a possibility like that, you are closing yourself to an amazing journey.

And also, Nesta was once judged and hated. A lot of people ended up changing their minds, which is great because she is awesome. So I think we already learned that lesson.

We will see another side of Elain emerge and she will surprise us. That's not me, that's SJM. She already told us that. Repeatedly.

All of this just to say: keep an open mind about Elain. She has what it takes and will surprise us - and I can't wait to see her becoming a badass.

[byronictrash]

some stuff that would be different  in my version of hbo supernatural (season 2)

season 1  season 3

IN MY TIME OF DYING

“where’s the colt?” “your son is dying and you're worried about a gun” “that demon is not dead yet samuel, thanks to you”

when sam finds out that john was trying to summon azazel while dean was still in comma, she loses her shit (“unbelievable! my expectations were low but you surpassed yourself! your own son is between life and death and you want to bring the demon here! for what? to have some stupid macho showdown?” “someone has to” “excuse me?” “you know samuel, this is all your fault, once again you couldn’t just man up and pull the fucking trigger, kill the thing, you had to be same old sissy and chicken off, if your brother dies its his blood in your hands”)

*ghostie dean throws that glass on the floor* john, looking terrified at sam: was it you? sam: what? no, the table is about two meters from me, how could i do it?john:... yeah, nevermind

when azazel and john make the deal, they would’ve kissed, LIKE EVERY OTHER DEMONIAC DEAL!!!!

the thing john whispers to dean is “be careful, something about your brother is not right” which dean interprets as just john being randomly transphobic so he loses his patience and shouts “oh fuck off, i almost died and you come here talking shit about your own daughter?”. john just responds “i’m not talking about this”

EVERYBODY LOVES A CLOWN

sam teasing dean for his (repressed) crush on ash (“interesting that taste in men of yours” “samantha, what the fuck are you talking???” “you flirting with ash” “i wasn’t flirting with ash!!” “you really trying to lie to your gay sister?” “no cause i’m not gay and wasn’t flirting with him” “i’ve road tripping with you over an year, your body language talking to ash were exactly the same like with any girl at a bar”

also all that jo/dean thing would be OBLITERATED because i hate it here!!!!

BLOODLUST

not much considerations here sikes there’s a lot HOWEVER gordon would be a much better built character, explaining how the trauma made him be the way he turned to be which is better than uuuuuuh a vamp killed my sister now i'm batshit crazy am i a joke to you mr kripke?

HOWEVER the misoginy in the hunter community is still a bitch so that scene where they’re all celebrating in the bar would go like “lighten up a little, sammy!” “dean’s the one who gets to call me that, is samantha to you” “oh sure, no offense meant. just celebrating a little.” “sure. well, it's just that decapitations aren’t my idea of a good time” “of course, my bad. sometimes i forget how the ladies can get when things get a little bit gory”

when that vegetarian vampire girl explains to sam that her crew don’t kill people she says “it's not because you were destined to be the monster that you can't act any different, you always have the choice” our catholic antichrist was baffled

“c’mon, hit me on the face” “what?” “i punched you earlier, sam. i have a million flaws but women beater is not one of them so if you hit me back, it will leave the domestic violence field and go to a simple fight between siblings” “ dean that’s literally not how it works!” “whatever lawgirl. now my face, punch it” “i may break your nose!” “so don't aim at it”

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

lawgirl time!!!

“i did my research, sam. 23 years old transexual woman, no job, no home address, mom died when you were a baby. your family moved around a lot when you were a kid but you were always a straight-A student, going to stanford with a full ride. about a year your roommate-” “girlfriend” “girlfriend jessica died and you fell off the grid” “i just need some time” “sam look, you’re a pre-law student, we caught you brother at the crime scene, his life is over” “actually, detective ballard, it’s not. being at the crime scene is merely circumstantial evidence”

HUNTED

“there will be a war and some humans will fight on hell’s side. humans like our very own sam.” “now you’re sounding lunatic” “i know about her visions” “and i know my sister better than myself! the girl is not evil, she feels bad for the animals whenever she eats meat” “wake up dean, all of those psychics gonna be killers” “not my sister, gordon, sam will not turn into a thing!” “look, i’m sympathetic. i know you are siblings but that’s her destiny”

HOUSE OF THE HOLY

christian antichrist time!!!

“she’s the second in town to murder because an angel told them to” “haha right” “why not” “because there’s no such thing” “dude do you have any idea how much lore about angels there is?” “and?? i’ve never seen one” “dean you and i have seen things most people couldn’t even imagine” “exactly! we see it. we’ve been hunting since kids, if angels existed we would crossed paths with them”

little does he knows that he would be dating a literal angel in less than three years but hey

when father reynolds quotes that biblical passage about angels not being ethical but fair, sam recognizes it and says “luke 2:9”

“thats a vengeful spirit right here” “then again, father reynolds started praying for god’s help two months ago, when all started to happen” “oh c’mon sammy, what’s the deal? first the angel stuff then biblical quotes by heart. what’s next, gonna start praying every day?” “i do, every morning and every night. i have prayed for a long time, since before i remember”

TALL TALES

pure sibling hostility!!!!

“you mind taking your shoes off my bed?” “not at all *rubs the sole on the sheet*” “oh my god you’re a pig!”

HEART

being said on screen, explicitly, that over the past year several women were murdered but since they were sex workers the police simply played dumb

bisexual werewolf madison my beloved

*madison puts gossip girl on* “i saw that” “saw what?” “you puffing” “i didn’t” “look, i know you’re probably thinking i’m a futile little preppy but my house, my tv. so suck it up”

“wait, so blair lost her virginity to chuck because she was mad at serena?” “that too, but actually she was mad at nate” “and chuck orchestrated the whole situation? what an asshole!”

when sam asks how an intelligent and beautiful girl like madison ended up in an abusive relationship, she explains that it didn’t start with a slap, but with smaller things that gradually scallonated

FOLSOM PRISON BLUES

let's start that all of sam's punitive speech in this episode simply wouldn't exist

like ??? it’s already ooc to the canon cw sam and hbo sam read angela davis

“this is, without a doubt, the dumbest, craziest thing we’ve ever done and we almost die once in a month” “relax sammy, it’s just a favor for an old friend, why are you so disturbed on that?” “because I'm thinking about the side risks if your plan doesn't work” “and they are?” “spending the rest of my life in a male prison”

lawgirl moment again! (“we gotta move it, if henricksen gets to the lawyer we’re fucked” “how about the lawyer-client thing?” “the privilege doesn’t apply, in fact-” “*grunting* why did i aaaask?”)

WHAT IS AND WHAT SHOULD NEVER BE

when dean saw sam wearing a pastel floral dress with light makeup he just blurts “christ, where’s all of your goth aesthetic?” and sam answers, totally confused “ended in high school, like a normal person”

“what got into you?” “what do you mean?” “suddenly you're all full of love to give” “i’m just happy for you sammy” “and since when do you call me sammy? c’mon, we don’t talk outside the holidays” “well, we should. i mean, you’re my sister.” “funny that it's been 4 years since i came out and this is the first time you call me sister”

*while going to hunt the djinn* “bitch” “excuse me????” “you’re supposed to call me jerk now” “why would i do that?” “*sights* nevermind”

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

“relax samantha, i’m trying to help you. you’re my favorite, the one i’m rooting for” “what does that means?” “this is a competition, only one of you is gonna make it out here alive” “weren’t we supposed to be soldiers?” “sure darling, however i don't need soldiers. i need a soldier, a leader, a queen” “what are you talking about?” “i can’t just spoil the whole story”

bobby explaining that cremating sam as the hunters praxis wouldn’t go against her Catholic faith, as cremation has been allowed by the Holy See since 1963