#do we like it question mark is it anything
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pureomi · 2 days ago
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˚୨୧⋆。🍓˚ she see money all around me, i look like i'm the man
includes: itoshi sae x fem! reader. 0.8k wc. fluff.
a/n: provider sae, we all cheered !! inspired by that one tiktok trend lol
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not much grabs itoshi sae's attention, so you have to get creative.
"sae, i can't help pay rent this month." even though he doesn't glance away from the computer screen, the twitch on his face is obvious. the furrowed brows, his fingers coming to a halt on the keyboard, the imaginary question mark brewing over his head—all of it subtle but still priceless.
to be fair, he doesn't even recall being this confused when his parents agreed to send him abroad at the ripe age of thirteen—that too, all by himself!
for someone as strict as itoshi sae, he should receive an award for how quickly he paused his work to simply process whatever the fuck just came out of your mouth. "you can't, what?" he finally says, still keeping his gaze focused on the screen.
this is harder than you thought. not the pranking part; the holding in your laughter part. you somehow manage to keep it in for the sake of the bit.
"yeah, i just don't have the money to help you pay our rent this month," you continue, further emphasizing your dilemma (knowing damn well it doesn’t exist) awaiting his reaction.
but of course, your prank backfires spectacularly. the dramatic reaction you were hoping for? nowhere to be found. instead, he just crosses his arms and finally turns his chair to stare at you like you're the ridiculous one in this scenario. sae leans back in his chair, letting linger another one of those infuriatingly calm looks that make you want to simultaneously throw something at him and admire how annoyingly composed he is. "i know?" he claimed, neutrally, with a quirk of his brow like...duhh?
he continued, not even trying to be offensive, just merely stating the facts he has gathered living with you over the years. "when have you ever paid rent?"
…why would you?
he’s suddenly wondering if, overnight, you forgot you’re itoshi sae’s girl. hell, he doesn’t even let you pay for something as little as webtoon coins—hence why he made sure his card info was saved on your phone. rent was too far of a stretch to claim, even as a joke, and you know this too.
with how adamant sae is, the world could collapse before he let you contribute a single penny.
but damn, did that make it make it hard for you to continue this act.
you open your mouth to say something, anything, to salvage the prank, but your brain is running on a blank slate. "i mean," you clear your throat, trying to recover. "it’s about the…principle? you know, of financial responsibility and, um—" sae tilts his head, looking wholly unimpressed. "do you even know how much rent is?" your mouth opens. closes. he waits. you scramble. "well, yeah, of course, i—" "how much?" he asks, deadpan. your lips part, but the number? nowhere to be found. you had not, at any point in your life, thought to ask. sae quirks a brow, clearly entertained by your pathetic attempt to keep going. he rests his chin in his palm, watching you struggle with the kind of calm that makes it painfully obvious he’s enjoying this. "you were saying?" he prompts, his voice laced with amusement. you huff, cheeks growing warm. "forget it. you ruined it." but before you can even sulk properly, sae reaches forward and hooks an arm around your waist, pulling you in with zero effort. a yelp escapes you as he shifts you into his lap, securing you there with both arms now locked around you. your heart does this stupid little thing where it stumbles over itself because you can feel the warmth of his body, the steady rise and fall of his breathing, and—oh god—the way his lips are ridiculously close to your ear. "did i? or did you just get caught?" he murmurs, voice low and entirely too smug. "you—!" your hands instinctively grab onto his shoulders, trying to put some space between you two, but he doesn't let you. if anything, he picks you up to place you fully against his chest. "go on, finish your little act," he challenges, lips curling into a smirk. you glare at him, ignoring the rapid pounding of your heart. "i hate you." "yeah?" his voice is a quiet hum, teasing, daring you to keep going. "i guess that’s what i get for absolutely spoiling the shit out of my girlfriend." you pout, trying to look annoyed, but your resistance fades as you sink into his arms.
instead of staying smug, sae softens his grip just a little, his tone becoming more serious. "i take care of what’s mine, so don’t bother pulling tricks on me before you empty my bank account."
"do you understand?" he continues, his voice low and steady as he presses a gentle kiss to your temple. the softness of the gesture contrasts with the firmness of his words, leaving you to wonder how he always manages to make you this flustered every time. all you can do is just nod, giving in to the fact that your boyfriend is a rich snob who always gets his way—one you’re completely obsessed with, no less. seriously, what are you gonna do with him? 🤍
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asksonicverse · 16 hours ago
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You dont need to answer but I just wanted to tell you I adore Paradox being like "I hate all of them except" and then listing everyone except like 2 guys, honey you don't hate *all* of them you expressly don't hate *most of them*
Extremely charming characterization i adore it
[Creator Special number 2!]
So glad someone noticed that, I was originally going to have him name EVERYONE except Boost but then I was like “nah, Mania is just too annoying for Paradox to tolerate him”
And thanks! I’m trying to be… consistent with my characterization of each of them and stay in line with canon but like… URGH sometimes I want to deviate so bad just to indulge but I resist!
Needless to say tho, prism is probably going to get more affectionate later on. Rewatched Sonic Prime again and bro is a cutie patootie!
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Headcanons… headcanons… hmm
Well, starting with the obvious, Paradox goes to therapy as I’ve mentioned which I think is hilarious. He and Lance are the only Shadows who really have their shit together which is why I think Sonadow works well for them? (we stan healthy relationships guys)
I do head canon that Eight doesn’t like being touched really at all anymore. After the metal virus, he grew so used to the fact that he couldn’t touch anyone that it sorta just stuck. He does it to save people, but not anything more. :(
And while I’m a sucker for the Trans Sonic HC I decided not to implement it in this particular AU!
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I really want to include Captain Sonic and Shadow, but I haven’t played nor watched a serious play through of the game. (I’ve only really listened to a bit of the Snapcube dub..)
can someone tell me if Shadow is a Barista or a Mechanic in that game btw?? I google it, nothing pops up. I could’ve sworn there was something about a mechanic.
Uhh I LOVE Sonic Frontiers, fire game. If I include that one, it’ll ALSO be Sonamy since I’m pretty sure that game takes place before SA2 in canon?
I’m trying to keep the Sonics and Shadows balanced but I’d love to add Generations Shadow and Sonic. Just thinking of names already I get “Doom” for Shadow and “Emerald” for Sonic. (Referencing the fake emerald from their interaction in the shadow story)
Unfortunately I haven’t seen the Archie comics or Sonic Underground so I wouldn’t even know where to begin.
Someone also asked about if I’d ever include different AU’s: maybe if those AU creators gave me permission I’d be down to do a collab for a few asks or something!
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Nope!
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I dunno I just..! … how do I do? I’m fast. And you’re slow. That’s how I did it. /ref
Ahahah just kidding! But I am very fast. A few years ago I convinced myself I was a “slow drawer” because I was in a discord server with someone I looked up to (and holy cheese they could draw out fully articulate sketches in like 30 seconds!)
So I got insecure and taught myself to draw really fast. So now I just.. zoom! This does have a terrible draw back where I will very frequently forget smaller details.
Like if you look at half the posts, Shadow is missing his eyeliner and other markings frequently.
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THIS IS JUST HILARIOUS TO ME YOU GUYS. PLEASE—
I’ve gotten SO many asks in my box about using Maria to calm the Shadows down or trying to give Shadows “Maria plushies”
Imagine you’re having a bad day and you get a plushie of your dead sibling thrown at you??? LMFAOOOO
I CANT I CANT I CANT PUT THEM THROUGH THAT 💔 Also I see every single ask.
“Do you all like Latinas” and “sonic which shadow is the hottest/shadow which sonic is the hottest” have all been engraved in my brain
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Was joking with a friend on how that second question would come out LMFAOO
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sad-girl-hours23 · 1 day ago
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This Is Not a Temporary Love
For @bucktommyfluffebruary Day 1: Non-sexual Intimacy
Tommy trails calloused fingertips across Evan’s skin, followed by feather light kisses, mapping the landmarks of ink and scar tissue. 
Evan runs a hand through Tommy’s curls. “What are you doing?”
“Exploring,” Tommy says between kisses. “Admiring the artwork. Committing you to memory.”
Evan hums and his eyes flutter shut as Tommy ends his journey at Evan’s birthmark, peppering kisses along his brow.
∗∗∗
A few nights later, Evan turns the tables of affection on him. Under Evan’s steady gaze, Tommy feels as if he’s been put under a microscope. His skin heats from Evan’s careful touches and the thought of being on display.
“What are you doing?”
Evan smirks, a playful shine reflected in his eyes. “Admiring the artwork.”
“What artwork?” 
Evan smiles as he traces invisible lines across Tommy’s skin. He takes Tommy’s words for the joke they are, not the self-deprecating dig they might have once been.
“Have you ever thought about getting a tattoo?”
“Thought about it, yeah.”
“But…you haven’t wanted anything enough to make it permanent?”
Tommy hesitates. “Are we still talking about tattoos?”
Evan laughs. “I promise it’s not a leading question.”
Tommy looks up at the ceiling. “I don’t like needles.” When he looks at Evan, there’s a soft smile on his face.
“Hey, thank you for sharing that with me.” 
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Evan—still tracing the contours of Tommy’s body—asks, “what would you get if you could?”
∗∗∗
A week later, Tommy shows up at Evan’s loft with takeout for their date night in.
He also gives Evan several packs of tattoo markers and blanket permission to use his skin as his personal canvas.
Evan’s face lights up like Tommy has given him the directions to the Lost City of Atlantis.
Between bites of Lo mein, Evan draws a fortune cookie on Tommy’s shoulder.
“What’s my fortune?”
Evan looks into his eyes and says, “you have a love that will last a lifetime.”
Tommy admires the way the words fall so effortlessly from Evan’s lips. It’s not casual or flippant, but confident and sure—like he’s practiced the thought so many times, mouthing the words until his tongue memorized the shape of them.
Tommy kisses Evan, pouring all the words he doesn’t know how to express into Evan’s open, eager mouth. When they part, Tommy swipes his thumb over the sweet and sour sauce lingering on Evan’s lips. 
“Lucky me.”
∗∗∗
After that night, Evan takes every opportunity to mark Tommy’s skin.
And it’s never mindless scribbling. It’s always deliberate, if not reverent, the way Evan moves the markers over his skin. It makes Tommy feel appreciated in a way he hadn’t expected.
When they’re watching movies together on the couch, Tommy’s feet in Evan’s lap, Evan keeps himself busy drawing comic book characters on his legs and thighs.
At the bar, surrounded by their friends and family, who watch with various expressions of confusion and amusement as Evan adds a rainbow of colors to Tommy’s skin. Maddie fondly compares it to giving Jee crayons at a restaurant to keep her entertained. Evan blushes and Tommy laughs, even if the observation misses the mark. Tommy actually likes having a language that only they understand and he thinks Evan feels the same.
In the kitchen, while waiting for dinner to be done, Evan sits him down at the island and asks him about his day, hanging onto every word Tommy says as he inks a new animal onto a different part of Tommy’s arm. First, it’s a penguin. Then a swan, a puffin, a crow.
Evan asks him one night, “do you know what they have in common?”
Tommy looks at the black bird on his bicep. “They all have wings?”
Evan gives him a look that says Tommy’s being deliberately obtuse. He’s listened to enough of Evan’s animal facts to know they’re all animals that mate for life.
Evan draws a wolf on Tommy’s forearm next, a challenging look in his eyes.
In between grueling shifts and the exhausting work of moving in together, Evan continues his artwork.
∗∗∗
Evan holds Tommy’s hand, even though he knows it can’t be comfortable given how cold and clammy it is. 
“You don’t have to do this,” Evan says. “We can buy tattoo markers. I can draw on you again if you want.”
Tommy winces at the sound of the tattoo machine coming from the back room of the shop, but he’s determined to see it through. “No, I want this. When I have to take off my wedding ring for work, it always feels like I’m missing a part of me.”
Evan ducks his head and blushes. “If you’re sure.”
Tommy squeezes his hand. “I’m sure.”
Also on AO3
My Fluffebruary works collected here
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carigm · 2 days ago
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The “Teaser”, mlvn rooftop convo, and Lord of the Rings parallel…
This is gonna be a long post, so grab some snacks y’all.
First of all, the teaser the Duffers shared at this Netflix shareholders event was basically all BTS stuff, and according to someone that was there, we have mostly seen all of it. The actual clips from the show they showed were so short that most people missed it. However, over those short clips it seems they played a voiceover of part of the mlvn rooftop convo. Notice how the Suffer Sisters are literally incapable of sharing anything new, and the only audio they disclosed is from the ONE scene that’s been leaked to death, and even transcribed multiple times with the help of AI. In any case, Netflix did not share this teaser with the masses, and it’s unlikely they ever will. Stranger Things is not going to the Super Bowl this year (yes you heard that right) and the Tudum Event isn’t until May. Our only hope before that would be them releasing something on Will’s birthday, but whether in March or May, I believe we’ll be getting a proper teaser by then.
People that attended the event reported that El has a voiceover line where she goes “they don’t get to write the ending, we do” and apparently a voiceover Mike line where he goes “we’ll finish this together” (I’m not sure if this was paraphrased or not). Immediately, we all realized that these lines sound pretty close to what Mike is allegedly saying to her during the rooftop scene. Many people in the fandom have taken the time to transcribe that scene, some with AI and some without, and although some things could be wrong here and there, the general idea of it seems pretty clear. I’m attaching an AI reading of the scene here, so I can point out where I think his dialogue might be from…
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Around the 1.43 mark, the AI picked up “enjoying it, together”, however I think this is where the “we’ll finish it, together” line comes into play. If anything, this shows AI isn’t 100% accurate, and it does call into question some of these previous lines 😂…I think it’s possible that after this speech from Mike about stories, fantasy endings and heroes, El tries to follow his advice and be positive, and maybe she delivers the “they don’t get to write our ending, we do” line back to him. It’s unfortunate because obviously we can’t see her face in the video, but I think it makes sense she would reply with that because right after it seems like he says “of, course…” and then proceeds to seemingly add that the Party can have a happy ending, without all the fantasy elements he mentioned before.
I find it very interesting that he’s choosing to speak to her with this storytelling analogy, which at first I believed to be a D&D analogy, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like he’s talking about an actual story. And then the lord of the rings parallel hit me, specifically with this scene. If you’re not aware, Finn Wolfhard has mentioned lotr twice now when talking about season 5, and I personally think it’s possible that Mike is using lord of the rings here as a reference to describe the hero’s journey and relate it to what the party has been through. Think about it, he’s trying to cheer El up, who has been stuck in that fuckass radio station for a year, who’s probably extremely tired of everything she has been dealing with for years, and he just wants to offer her some consolation so she can keep going and fighting. Does that sound familiar?
Well my friends, if it does, that’s because it is a direct parallel to Frodo and Sam from Lord of the Rings. I’ve always thought Byler were insanely samfrodo coded (funny enough the last S4 Byler scene is almost identical to this scene too), but it seems the Duffers are paralleling mlvn to them here. In lotr, Frodo bears the biggest burden of the story, as he follows his hero’s journey to Mordor to defeat evil. Along the way, ofc, he becomes increasingly weary and hopeless, and it is up to Sam (his best friend) to cheer him up and provide him with strength to keep him going. How does Sam do this? Interestingly enough, he encourages Frodo by describing all the beautiful things that will come AFTER they have won, what they and their friends will be able to enjoy when they get back home. Basically everything Mike appears to be saying to El in this scene, fantasizing about the end of the battle. To make the parallels even crazier, while on his hero’s journey, Frodo has to remain in hiding because there are multiple forces looking for him, and we know that El is basically hiding away from the government.
Another thing I want to point out is that in lotr (spoilers I guess 😭) good does win in the end, and the main characters get to return back home. However, Frodo is so changed by the journey and all the things he encountered that he simply cannot stay with his friends. Instead, he leaves and goes to the Undying Lands, where he finds peace. He doesn’t die, but he also cannot stay in Middle Earth. Him and Sam have a beautiful goodbye scene and then Sam is left with the literal book of stories Frodo started, and is told by Frodo to “finish it”.
Make of that what you will…
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laseracronym · 2 days ago
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So They Know (Todoroki/Reader)
Summary: Shouto has a request.
MHA-MHA-MHA
"Can we kiss?"
You're in Shouto's dorm room, on his bed. You've both just finished the homework for tomorrow when he asks the familiar question.
He always asks before he kisses you, and you find it so sweet and so endearingly Shouto. You set your notes aside and smile at him, "sure," as if you would ever turn down a kiss (or two or twenty) from your boyfriend.
His eyes light up with delight, a small grin on his face. It's so subtle but you've gotten good at reading him. He shuffles his notes aside as well, more careless about it than you are, and moves closer to you. His hand finds your face and he's kissing you eagerly.
You close your eyes and wrap your arms around his neck, pressing closer with a satisfied hum. You thought Shouto would be reserved with his affection when you first started dating him, but he's surprisingly bold at times and very affectionate, especially in private. He craves your affection, and you're eager to give it to him.
Shouto nudges forward, encouraging you to lie back on his bed, and he comes to hover over you, licking his way into your mouth. Your mind hazes over pleasantly as he does this, one of your hands threading through his silky soft hair. He makes a soft, pleased noise as you lightly massage his scalp, one of his hands running up and down your side.
Time passes, it could be minutes, it could be hours, but you don't care, you could continue doing this forever, surrounded by Shouto's scent, the taste of his addictive kisses on your tongue.
Eventually, Shouto pulls back, but only slightly, "(Name)..." he murmurs, his breath brushing against your cheek. "Can I..."
"Hm?" you prompt when he doesn't continue. Your eyes are half-lidded and you're relaxed and warm. You run your hand in a gentle caress between his shoulder blades encouragingly, "what is it, Shouto?"
"I want to..." he sounds hesitant as his hand reaches up, the back of a single knuckle tracing down the side of your neck, "mark you."
Your breath hitches at the quiet declaration, the haze of your mind giving way to a bright awareness, "like, a hickey?" you ask him.
"Mhm," he nods, staring down at your neck where he continues to trace your skin. The action makes you shiver lightly. "If that's alright."
Heat blooms throughout your already warm body and you find yourself nodding, your stomach doing an excited flip. "Yeah...go ahead." You tilt your head to the side, baring your neck to him.
Shouto hums and pulls his hand away from your neck to brush some of your hair out of the way, "thank you."
Your heart skips a beat as Shouto's lips find your neck, his earlier hesitation gone now that you've given him permission. He's so gentle, featherlight kisses trailing over your skin as he takes his time with you. Your eyes slide closed in response to the subtle pleasure, the intimacy of what he was doing.
"Are you okay?" he asks softly, "your heart is beating fast."
"You can feel that?" you chuckle, your voice is quiet, anything louder feels like too much. "I'm alright. It feels good."
You've been taking things slow together, extended makeout sessions and some shy hands over clothes. This feels like a step further, but you don't mind. You like it.
At your reassurance, Shouto continues, his tongue poking out occasionally to taste your skin. You let out soft sounds of enjoyment, your hands on his shoulders serving as an anchor. You're enjoying yourself as much as Shouto is, your teeth pressing into your lower lip as his mouth closes over a spot of skin and he starts to suck softly.
"Mm..." a quiet little moan leaves you and you're almost embarrassed, but Shouto's answering groan, equally as quiet as your own sound, soothes your nerves and kindles a small fire within you. You're not ready for anything more than this, but you can't deny how exciting it is, the effect it has on you.
After a few minutes, Shouto pulls back with a soft "chu" sound. You both are slightly out of breath, equally affected. You blink up at him and find his expression particularly tender, with a heat in his mismatched eyes that you're not quite used to.
Shouto lifts his hand and touches the pad of his thumb to the wet spot on your neck, presumably where he's left a hickey. "It didn't hurt, did it?" he asks, always so concerned that he's handling you too roughly.
You shake your head. It didn't hurt at all.
"Hm," he studies the mark, transfixed, the way he runs his thumb over it is almost worshipful, "I like it. I like the idea that you'll see this and know I left it there. Anyone who sees it will know it, too, and I won't even have to say anything. They'll just know you're mine."
He says it so casually and yet his words make your mouth run dry, your skin feel electric. Completely lost for what to say, how to express exactly what you're feeling, you pull him back into a kiss, more heated and fervent than before.
The next day, when the collar of your shirt doesn't quite cover up the small red mark on your neck, you catch the stares of your classmates and your heart flutters.
They know.
(Requests open!)
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wyattjohnston · 2 days ago
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just between you and me - cole caufield
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summary: you return to montreal after some time abroad and it unleashes a whole new slew of questions.
word count: 3,325
note: this is for @lam-ila for The Winter Fic Exchange 2k25! i hope you like it maleeha <3 thank you to @comphy-and-cozy and for all your help!!
main character: feminine reader insert
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The windowpane offers a nice reprieve from the chaotic warmth being produced by seemingly everybody you’ve ever known being invited to your welcome back party. It’s well below freezing which isn’t at all unusual for Montreal, and—you’ll never admit this out loud—sitting next to the window is the closest you’re going to get to outside. Belgium had been utterly tropical in comparison and you’re ashamed by how quickly the Montreal weather became too much. The crowd of people sitting on the balcony are, quite frankly, out of their minds.
“Don’t think you should be sitting over here by yourself.”
You move your attention from the group outside to the person who just joined you, smiling gently when you realise who it is followed by a just as gentle, “Hi, Cole.”
The confusion across his face is clear and it lasts longer than just a passing second, before he’s saying your name back to you in such a questioning manner that you start to wonder if you’ve somehow been wrong all these years.
He shuffles further into the booth opposite you, leaning all his body weight onto his forearms and the table between them, and says emphatically, “No fucking way.”
You understand his reaction somewhat, knowing that the semester spent in Belgium had been eye opening and experimental, but you can only shrug at him because visibly all that’s changed about you that night is that you’ve put on some makeup and worn something a little tighter than you used to.
“You look—” he pauses, and you sigh to yourself because you know what’s coming next. “You look great. Belgium really did a number on you, eh?”
“Sure, you could put it that way.”
The compliment is nice, regardless, so you take it at face value and put your own arms on the table, leaning in towards him. He grins, toothy and all encompassing, and you’re shunted back to the small crush you’ve always had on him. It’s not anything that takes over your life; sometimes you’re not even sure it’s anything more than the thought that he’s available, but it’s enough to send butterflies into your stomach.
He tells you to stay put, and you do as you’re told even if you’re contorting yourself in your seat to see exactly where he’s gone and what he’s up to. The drink he brings back to you is what he knows as your favourite; you thank him for the soft drink, even if that’s also something that changed while you were away.
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You can’t say you’re surprised when, a couple days later, you get a text from Cole asking when you’re next free which is quickly followed by another text with the days he’s free that week.
Hanging out with Cole wasn’t uncommon, though it was typically part of a larger group. It’s not explicit that this is one-on-one in any way other than Cole being the one to initiate and organise; he always left that to someone else and just showed up wherever the people were.
You leave them on your Lock Screen for most of the day and wait until the Habs game is over that night to text him back—whilst you wouldn’t give him the quick response he was undoubtedly after, there’s no way you’re going to put yourself in the position to wait by texting him mid-game.
The text you send reads “that depends what we’re doing” and it’s not until the read receipt pops up and you read it back that you realise it probably sounds quite flirty. It’s not not the message you were trying to convey but your palms get a little sweaty when it really kicks in that the flood gates have just been opened.
Cole’s unbridled joy is conveyed through his texts—the win probably doing some heavy lifting there—and the abundance of exclamation marks. Though, truthfully, they might not be that uncommon for Cole.
“We can go bowling!! Or ice skating!! Or you can come over??!!”
It’s endearing if not a little overwhelming.
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Ice skating is the pick, and you can’t help but laugh at the idea of him using his day off to do more skating. It was his suggestion, and he doesn’t seem bothered by it, so you don’t bring it up at all.
He helps with your skates even though you’re more than capable; he just kneels down in front of you and starts lacing them up before you can even begin to tighten them yourself. He does look cute when he smiles up at you proudly, so you don’t have it in you to fight it.
Cole is holding your hand the moment you’re stepping onto the ice. You know how to skate and he knows you know how, so it’s not a tight, steadying grip. In fact, it’s having the opposite effect as your knees get weak because even through two pairs of thick, winter gloves you can feel every part of his hand against yours.
On the ice you can hear a guy yapping at his poor date about how good he was at hockey, how he could have gone pro, but he decided it was better for him to go to university and get a real job because of some made up reason that trailed off before he really finished his sentence. You couldn’t hide your laugh at it all, a full-bodied snort that drew the attention of the couple, so you curled into Cole to try and pretend it was something he’d said.
It did end up being Cole who was making you laugh, when he leant in closer whilst he kept you moving across the ice to repeat the guy’s ridiculous claims. The hockey bro voice he was putting on—or maybe just playing up—really sent you over the edge, and you had to hold onto him to keep upright as your laughter got to a point where breathing was problematic.
Being pulled effortlessly around the rink by Cole was something. It certainly wasn’t making it any easier to breathe, and even less so when you were able to gather some bearings and make eye contact with him. You weren’t sure anyone had ever looked at you with such softness and sincerity; you had to look away.
It’s so cliché when you step off the ice to get hot chocolate that you have no choice but to sit opposite him and ask him a question that’s been on your mind all day.
“Is this your go-to first date?”
“It’s…” he pauses briefly, sheepish. “It’s in the rotation, yeah. Seasonal. You’re my favourite.”
You avert eye contact, staring at your hands where they’re wrapped around the source of warmth that is your cup. Cole’s foot nudging against yours doesn’t do a lot to help keep your voice steady because your mind has conjured up an image of Cole and the poor date from earlier. She’s stunning, exactly the type of woman who would make a perfect WAG—no amount of makeup or otherwise traditionally feminine behaviour would ever make you feel like you could match her.
It’s with a weak voice you say, “You probably say that to all the girls.”
“No.” Cole doesn’t miss a beat. “Just you.”
Your cheeks warm instantly, and you’re filled with so much emotion that you screw your eyes shut because you don’t want to see the face he makes at your delirious smile.
Before you leave, the wannabe hockey player catches up with you and asks Cole for an autograph and a photo which are happily provided. He tells his date, before you and Cole can even get out of earshot, that he was a better player than Cole has ever been and would have gone higher in the draft had he kept up with hockey.
“Can’t believe the world doesn’t get to see the next Gretzky play just because he wants to…” he trails off into unintelligible mumbling.
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The number of dates you’ve been on—and they are dates, Cole has made that exceedingly clear—is quite frankly outstanding for it having been two weeks. It feels like every day he’s free, and you don’t have classes, you’re together. It’s a lot, to be honest, but it’s not bad.
It’s not like you’ve never gone to a nice restaurant before—your parents were fans of the finer things in life, and you and your friends liked to treat yourselves on your birthdays—it’s just not something you ever pictured yourself doing with Cole. Though, to be fair, you hadn’t thought about doing much with Cole until he’d suddenly started showing interest.
The maître d’ knows Cole and you’re not so sure whether it’s because Cole is a regular or because he plays for the Habs. It’s likely both.
You don’t feel like you fit, despite any sudden interest in fashion and skincare you’ve developed—when you went out with your friends in Belgium, it was always met with judgemental, and disbelieving looks that you belonged.
You push down your discomfort and let Cole order your dinner because the menu is intimidating. He asks the waiter to bring the wine that pairs best with each course, and then turns to you and says, “Pop?”
“Just seltzer, please,” you say to Cole before turning to the waiter with a timid smile. “Thank you.”
When you turn your attention back to Cole, he’s visibly confused—his eyebrows pulled together, and his mouth pulled tight. You tilt your head, confused by his confusion but he doesn’t say anything to you.
“I don’t drink soft drinks anymore,” you explain. It doesn’t clear his confusion. “Just trying to take better care of my teeth. That seems to be the change that’s got you the most.”
“Just surprised. It’s not a bad thing.”
You tilt your head at him again, waiting for him to elaborate, but the waiter returns with your drinks and Cole easily shifts the conversation to his brother, Brock.
At the next table there’s a couple, probably in their early 50s, who are absolutely besotted with each other. You catch yourself staring at them a lot throughout the evening, hoping to learn what really makes a relationship perfect. Cole notices, too, though he stares far less at them than he does at you. When you catch him staring, the heart eyes he’s developed are enough to make your heart swell.
“You look really nice tonight,” he says after one of the times he gets caught, as if it’s not what he said the second he laid eyes on you at your front door.
The compliments have come through thick and fast since Cole came back into your life. You’re not mad about them, really, and you’re proud of what you’re now able to do with your makeup and the outfits you’re able to put together so that they are outfits and not just pants and a top, but every time he says something nice you’re reminded of the years where he said nothing of the sort—when you were just another person in the same room.
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It comes out of nowhere, is much of the problem. It’s been a month, maybe two, of thoughts running through your head, of what you and Cole are and what he really thinks about you—about anything—and you’ve not asked. You probably should have because it’s not an inconsistent thought in your head about what any of this even means.
You and Cole are sitting on his couch, watching a 90s teen romcom, not having said a word for half an hour, when you sit up straight and stare at him.
He looks put out by having lost your body heat, instantly reaching out to pull you back, but you can’t get over Laney Boggs’ sudden transformation into a Prom Queen and so you start spilling a months’ worth of thoughts to him.
“I can’t keep this up, Cole,” you say with all the dramatics of the main character of a romcom.
It sort of feels like he’s in a constant state of confusion when you’re around and it adds to all the thoughts running through your head because what could he possibly see in you when he doesn’t ever seem to know what to expect next.
He asks, “Keep what up?”
“Pretending that it doesn’t kill me that you’re only interested in me now that I’m more of a girly girl.”
There’s a beat, where he stares at you, and you stare back, and his face screws up and your heart does the same, but you bite your lip because really, you need to hear something from him, anything.
“What?” he says—it’s less of a question than a silence filler. “No. No that’s—”
“But it is, though, isn’t it?” You cut him off before he can stumble over any more words. “Because you weren’t taking me on dates or showing any interest when I was drinking nothing but pop and wearing nothing but sports merch but put me in a dress with a boring water in my hand and all of a sudden you can’t get enough of me.”
“I didn’t… I don’t… I don’t care about water,” he says, staring at you like you’ve grown three heads. Maybe you have. You’re not sure exactly what you look like at that moment. Promptly more unkempt than when you showed up, maybe a little crazier in the eyes—maybe doing a reverse She’s All That while the end of the movie plays behind you.
“You can’t even deny it,” you argue back, sitting further back against the arm of the couch and putting more space between you and Cole. He’s listening to every word you say, rolling them all through his mind one by one. “I thought I was alright with it, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Would you have ever looked at me that way if everything about me hadn’t changed?”
Cole’s face changes even more at that point, the confusion morphing into something a little pained and that makes sense to you if he feels like he’s been called out. He leans forward, trying to close some of the space you’ve created, but pulls back a little when you show any sign of helping the space disappear.
His shoulders fall and he says confidently, “I’m into you, babe. Just you.”
There’s part of you that wonders why he hasn’t made a move. There have been makeouts and cuddling but nothing more and you’re not mad about that at all, you’re quite happy that the pace has been slow in that respect, but the fact that it hasn’t come up at all has been playing on your mind because is he into you? Any version of you?
It’s not the most burning question in your mind right then, though, and you manage to get out, “But would you have ever asked me out the way I was before Belgium?”
“I didn’t…” All his confidence is gone. “I didn’t think of you that way before.”
You nod and stand, knowing that staying in that room is going to hurt even more than the conversation you’ve just had. So you say, “Okay,” as you’re walking to the door and following it up with, “That’s all I needed to know,” when you’re turning the doorknob.
Cole is standing, too, though he’s not moving towards you. He’s standing by the couch, looking small and curled in on himself. Your heart breaks just a little bit more when he asks, “Are we—Are we breaking up?”
Despite all the dates and the time you’ve been spending together, you’re not even sure that you’re at a point where you can ‘break up’. There’s been no conversation about what you are outside of calling the time you’re spending together dates.
“I don’t know what we are, Cole,” you say, tired and desperate to get out of his house and be alone. “I just need some time to think.”
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You can hear your roommate open the front door, immediately telling whoever is there that you don’t want to see them. It’s not hard to connect the dots. Especially not when they line up perfectly with the Habs returning from a road trip.
Cole is talking before your roommate has even finished speaking, hurriedly trying to say he just wants to talk to you, and nothing else, and he has to explain things and the more the talks the faster he gets, and your roommate is trying to get a word in but Cole isn’t letting her.
It’s not anybody else’s job to be your bodyguard, so you prepare yourself mentally to rescue her from his rapid-fire speech. There’s no physical effort to put in, especially not when you putting in effort is what caused all your problems to begin with, so you step into the hall wearing a two-sizes-too-large Habs shirt with a hole in each armpit and the shorts made of sweatpants material that haven’t been seen outside your house since prior to you leaving for Belgium. Your skincare routine may or may not have been neglected in the last 48 hours, you don’t actually remember. The spots brewing suggest it’s more like in the may not column.
Yet, despite that, Cole’s eyes are on you the second you’re in his line of sight, and the relief rolling off him is palpable. He stops talking, finally taking a breath, and you just nod at your roommate when she silently asks if you actually want to do this. She takes a deep breath, waits half a second for you to change your mind, and then leaves you and Cole standing in your small entry hall.
“Sorry about the road trip,” you say, suddenly struck by his silence after how fast his mouth had been moving before you were standing in front of him.
“I’m sorry.” He sounds desperate, even more so than when he was begging to see you. “I—I’m into you. I don’t want whatever you think I think to get in the way of that.”
“But you weren’t into before I looked different.”
“You don’t look that different,” he counters. “I don’t think you’re wearing any make up right now and I am still really into you.”
Your cheeks warm, and you struggle to get out anything because you truthfully don’t have a lot of will to argue with him if he’s into you. You do manage, “You never showed any interest before,” which is just a repeat of everything you’ve already said.
“Then you disappeared for months, and I realised I missed you. The timing isn’t great for whatever you think is going on, but I promise I like you. A lot. And I want to keep going on dates and hanging out and all of that stuff. You can wear whatever you want or don’t want, it makes no difference to me.”
“Why didn’t you say any of that last week?”
He laughs, a snort which is largely self-deprecating, “I couldn’t wrap my head around what you were saying because it didn’t make sense to me. Kind of put me on the spot there, babe. Also felt like a bit of a trap with the movie if we’re being honest with each other.”
You sigh, “The movie was an accident. It did, uh, cause everything to kind of burst, though.”
“Can we go back to hanging out? To dating? The last week’s sucked sorta hard.”
You can’t disagree that it’s sucked sorta hard. Despite needing the time to think about it, the absence of Cole’s silly texts throughout the day or his random minute-long phone calls because his thought was too much for a text had left a huge gap in your day that you hadn’t even realised he’d been filling.
It’s easy, then, to move towards him and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him close.
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sunflower-author · 3 days ago
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Yandere Bonten x Reader
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The reader is Gender neutral in this!!
TW: Sewer slide attempt, attempt drug use,
Bonten Timeline, where Bonten has kept you in the penthouse for a LONG time, and out of spite from every horrible thing they have ever done, you decide not to speak to them out of resentment Bottling up all your emotions. Hoping that they will eventually grow bored of you and either let you go or finally end your suffering.
One day, in particular, everything that you had been bottling up has finally reached its breaking point...
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“Y/N, go get your hairbrush on the bathroom counter please, I can tell you didn’t brush your hair this morning,” Kakucho said, sitting down on the couch right beside you.
Ever since Mikey said that he prefers your hair long, you were forced to grow it out. You can’t say you like it, but at least it hides all of the ugly marks on your neck and body from them…
Everyone else just goes with it; whatever Mikey says goes. It is unsure if the others like your hair as much as he does, but no matter what, they sure do act like it.
Getting up, then making your way to the main bathroom everyone uses, spotting the black brush, then grabbing it, and just as you were about to leave it caught your eye.
A little orange bottle with a white childproof cap. Slowly picking it up, you begin to realize that it is one of Sanzu’s many drugs. He must have left it here on accident, rushing for his mission today.
Bad day for him, but amazing for someone like yourself.
There is a good amount of pills in this container, and knowing Sanzu, only carrying around the ‘best’ (strongest) on him. He could drain this dry and it still wouldn’t be enough for someone like him.
This would be enough to kill any normal person, especially someone who has been clean for over a few years.
Slowly opening the cap, pouring the rest of the bottle in hand. Then quickly raise all of it to your mouth, only to have a hand grip your wrist.
You don't even need to turn to know who it is.
“I can’t even leave you alone for a minute before you end up doing something dangerous, put it down,” Kakucho says as he sighs. Physically, there is no chance against Kakucho.
Putting your arm down slightly to put the pills back in the bottle, while you are doing that, Kakucho’s grip softens little by little.
Once the cap is closed, you turn to look at him dazed.
“I won’t tell anyone… but if I catch you doing that again, I’m telling everyone,” he says, as he takes the pill bottle. Nodding your head yes, you just grab the brush as you both walk back to the couch.
After settling down, he starts to brush your hair. “Honestly what were you thinking? Did you just want to be on drugs or something, or was that a serious attempt?” he asks, sighing again.
“Listen I know that you hate your life here. But is it truly that bad? You can have whatever you want, having Kokonoi and Takeomi buy you anything you could dream, Sanzu would literally do anything for you, Mocchi would always listen to your rants when you talked, Ran and Rindou well they argue a lot but are fun to watch too… I try my best… even if you don’t see it…” his words are slow and cold.
“I admit that I am just as guilty as the rest of them, and everything we do is for your safety… even if you don't think it is… that is the truth…You may despise us for the rest of your life, but as long as we can keep you safe, that is what matters…” At this point, he seems to be pouring his heart out…
Sadden asks, “Do you hate me…? For doing all of this?” Shocked you shook your head no… Kakucho did nothing… all he ever did was follow orders, even if he hurt you and others, he is not to blame, you know that he feels guilty for everything he has done. After all, you have always felt slight empathy towards Kakucho, he is the kindest out of all of Bonten.
“Will you please talk to me again,” He begs more than questions, you just shrug, leaving that as that. “Is life better now, than when it was when you first was brought here?” he asks, you reply with a simple nod. “That’s good at least, although I can imagine that it was like hell, the first few days,” he responds. Try the first few weeks…
After a good handful of questions, he pauses for a few seconds like he is thinking, confused, you tilted your head back and looked at him. Suddenly it is like the lightbulb rang for him.
“Would you be willing to respond to me, with more specific answers, if I have you write it down? That way you wouldn’t have to speak?” he says, nodding your head yes. He rushes out of the room to grab something.
When he is back, he has an iPad in hand, pulling out the stylist pen, he gives the pen to you as he sits on the couch. Looking at the Ipad it is already in drawing mode. “Now… why don’t you talk?” he asks.
‘I wanted to punish you guys for everything you ever did to me. I thought if you guys assumed I was broken, maybe I would find a way, to not live like this, even a peaceful death would be ideal.’
When he was reading this you could tell that he was stunned unsure of how to respond he just asked another question. “How long are you going to keep this up?”
You write, ‘Until I can be free, or at least have some freedom’
“I can talk with Mikey…” You both know that the conversation will be a waste of time for both Kakucho and Mikey, but he can still try if he wants to.
‘You’re a good person Kakucho, compared to everyone else you have the most empathy. Plus you only follow orders, due to your loyalty. I know you mean no harm to me, even if it is for better or worse, truthfully if it was just you and me I would talk to you.’ You wrote down.
“What do you mean? We are alone,” he states. Just two words I write down, ‘security cameras’ After he reads that he says, “Oh I forgot about that…,” as he looks up around the room looking at the cameras.
“I know you think we are being excessive with everything, but you have to know, we are doing everything we can to protect you… we know everything about you… there are no secrets that are kept between us…” He takes a longing pause. He is quiet… too quiet, Shit you have a bad feeling about this…
He sighs thinking, then turns to you. “Y/N… you know that Bonten made a pact to keep no secrets, and to take care of you… and today you just tried to overdose with Sanzu’s drugs… This is not just a small secret I would be hiding from them. This is about your life you could have died today if I wasn’t there to catch you... I’m sorry but I will have to tell them. I care about you and your safety… this is something I can’t hide from them.” he says looking down in shame.
This fucker… If he tells them you would be on a tighter leash than before. Things would be like how they were when they first took me. There is no way in hell you are starting back at the bottom. You have worked your way by playing nice, then the silent treatment, which they all hate. If you are back at the bottom it will take months til you can just freely walk around this building.
You know what… Fuck it you had already told him too much if you go out... You're going out with a bang. This is just a lot to grasp… This is to be expected from Sanzu, Ran, Mochi… But Kakucho?... Kakucho is too loyal for his own fucking good.
Blinded by rage, standing up you yell. “You’re Just As Fucked Up As The Rest Of Them,” After saying it is weird… your voice doesn’t sound like your voice, it is weak, and not as loud as you would have wanted to say it… Fuck... You messed up your vocal cords.
Looking at Kakucho in a brief second, he is taken aback. Your voice shocked him and yourself. Just wanting to leave and go into the bedroom.
However... As you turn you see the rest of the Bonten members, standing by the door, in pure shock. That gives you enough information, to know that they heard you.
Well, fuck….
A few moments of silence fall upon us until you finally dare to try to walk away. Only taking a few steps before a voice was heard. “Hold on Y/N, come over,” Great and that was Mikey…
You are immediately making your way infront of him and the group. “You talk to Kakucho, but not me,” he says voice filled with hurt. Should you dig myself deeper into this mess?
“I’m sorry, Mikey…” you weakly manage out, after yelling at Kakucho, you need to rest my vocal cords, your voice is hoarse, and it hurts so much the others can tell, to the point some flinch once they hear. But it doesn’t matter, you could be feeling the worst pain ever, and as long as you're alive and breathing they would be okay with that.
“So what? That is all you have to say? We heard you talk, give up your little tantrum, and talk to us, I knew you would break… longer than I anticipated but you still broke,” Ran says, wanting to hear you talk, after not hearing your voice for over a few years, judging the room they all want to hear it too.
Did this Bitch not just hear me talk? What else would he want me to say? Is he truly such a fucking sadist that he wants to hear me struggle to talk? you begin to think.
Well, in that case, you plan on saying something to him loud and clear.
“You know what? Fuck you Ran, I have been wanting to say that for so long now, you are such a manipulative shit, you really think I didn’t see through all your bullshit, how you think of yourself as a god… you think you are so great… you are just a sadist, who cheats, and contributes to nothing…. It is only because of your ‘respect’ which was beating up kids younger than you, were you feared, without beating up helpless kids, you ought to be nothing, you would still be at the bottom of Roppongi in jail, with all of the failures,” you say holding my throat, trying not to breathe hard.
“Calm down Y/N, you know it is just Ran being Ran,” You are not sure if Rindou is being sincere in saying this or saying this just to shut you up. At this point you don’t give a fuck, you're already pissed.
“You think you’re any better Rindou? the only reason people see you as a nice person is that everyone compares you to Ran. Since I can remember people have been blinded by Ran, all overlooking just how cruel, and cold-hearted you are. You are just a follower, doing whatever Ran tells you to do, following blindly behind him. To the point where all you will ever be… is your big brother’s shadow…” Your voice is getting softer and softer, Shit, you worry, just how much longer will you still be able to talk?
“Your voice is getting worse, stop talking Y/N,” Kokonoi says concerned.
“You wanna be next?” You ask “Because you-,” Just like that, you couldn’t even finish your sentence before starting a coughing fit. After catching your breath, and notice just how sore your throat is, feeling like the after-effect of overusing it, pained to the point where it hurts to breathe.
Seeing your vision start to blur, starting to tear up. You have no idea why… What is wrong with you? Is it the pain? Or are you just being emotional all of a sudden? Why do they all have to be here? Do they think you're weak now? What is wrong with everything? How did things end up like this?...
Feeling arms wrap around you. Freezing, but then recognizing it is Kakucho. Even when you curse at him, he is here comforting you. You can’t hate him but you can’t love him. All you can do is accept him, and that is exactly what you did, at that moment.
Breathing out a breath, you didn't realize that you were holding. Relaxing your shoulders, and body, turning into his chest, not being able to handle all of their cruel stares. No matter how hard you try, tears won't stop falling…You can just feel their eyes burning your back.
“What are you guys all staring at? You all are acting like children watching a movie, Y/N has never shown any emotion for over a year, and when they finally do, all you guys plan to do is watch. They are breaking down in Kakucho’s arms,” Akashi says, breaking the tension and silence.
Always count on Akashi to be an adult when situations become grim.
“We’ll all talk together on the couch…” Mikey says, hearing his footsteps go, and the others follow behind him, as they fade. You feel Kakucho gently push you, away from him.
“Ready to follow?” he whispers. Nodding your head yes, as you slowly walk to the coach, Everyone is sitting down, and Mikey motions you to sit between him and Akashi the only other two that can keep a calm mind, no matter what goes down.
At this point, you've stopped crying, but your nose and eyes were still red, and once you sat down all hell broke loose.
“I think that Y/N should get punished for talking to me like that,” “They are hurting enough, what they said was nothing, compared to what your victims say to you,” “And I kill them for it,” “Stop being such a big baby Ran, just man up,” “Oh I know you did not just tell me to ‘man up’, being the only one that doesn’t even get their hands dirty,” “Oh? Do you want your little allowance cut?” “I swear to God, Koko if you-”
“Enough,” Mikey says, everyone is still, no one dares disobey the leader after all.
Mikey then looks at Akashi signaling something, then Akashi looks at you. Confused you wait until he says.
“Now Y/N I know you're in pain, but what you said to Ran and Rindou was uncalled for, completely immature, and you knew that were their… weak points, you need to apologize to them,” Akashi says, careful of his words.
“I’m sorry… Rindou… Ran,” you say looking down, in a low tone, your voice still scratchy.
“What was that? It was hardly sincere and he could at least talk loud enough for me to understand,” Ran complains.
Seeing Akashi give you a look, you knowingly sigh. Looking up at Ran in the eyes, hatefully “I'm sorry… Ran” louder, hearing the anger and strain almost raspyness. Then turning to his brother, calming yourself, you softly say “Sorry,” being earnest.
Just as the older brother is about to say something, Akashi cuts him off saying “Ran,” in a warning tone. Ran ends up rolling his eyes, and he leans back more on the couch.
“Now Y/N…” You hear Mikey say, grabbing everyone's attention.
“Do you or Kakucho want to explain what happened today? Especially for you to lose your temper like that?” He asks intrigued about what happened, he has not normally shown this much emotion for quite some time, putting everyone more on edge.
Looking at Kakucho in a warning, begging way, for him not to tell them. Kokonoi, being the observant person he is notices. “Oh? It must be good to have you looking at Kakucho like that…” Right when Koko says that all the other's eyes are on you. Fuck…. Just great…. you think.
Looking down, ignoring their stares, waiting for Kakucho to say something.
“Today, Y/N went to the bathroom to grab their hairbrush… they were taking a bit longer than normal… so I went to see what the problem was… and when I looked in the room…” He pauses, feeling uncomfortable.
“Well hurry up what happened?” “It can’t be ‘that’ bad… can it?” “Just spit it out already,” “Kakucho…” Mikey says softly, not demanding, but reassuring, and manipulative… he can be gentle.. When he wants to…
Kakucho then takes out the pill bottle, tossing it to Sanzu only for it to be caught, by Akashi. “I found him about to take the rest of the pills in the bottle,” he finally says. Sanzu starts to pale, knowing he’s in trouble.
Everyone else, looks at Sanzu, like they're about to kill him… I wouldn’t be against that…
“The rest of these you say Kakucho? Sanzu…Just 5 at once would have killed them… Nevertheless the rest of this bottle… you were careless…" Akashi says looking at Sanzu, but then he continues.
"Almost getting Y/N killed… But then again... Who knew,” he says now turning to you.
”They would be so suicidal,”
(IDK HOW TO END THIS... PLZ LMK IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS;))
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cherryxbooo · 16 hours ago
Note
Helloooo hehe 🍒
Could you write a pedri fic where perdito and reader are both in college but he’s the popular kind and reader is quiet and almost invisible.
How at first she doesn’t wanna get involved but slowly warms up to him and start dating and her getting welcomed by his family.
Make it angst to fluff like real angst tho.
Whether you write this or not im grateful 💚
You make sense to me
Summary: Being introverted and choosing the background over the spotlight is already hard enough, let alone when the popular guy suddenly takes an interest in you.
Note: Thank you so much for your request! I decided to switch it up a bit and go from fluff to angst and obviously ending in fluff. Hope you like it! 🫶
Reader x Pedri
Genre: fluff/angst
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University is a strange place.
It’s a world where people reinvent themselves, the loud get louder, and the quiet, like me, learn to live in the spaces between.
That’s how I’ve survived my first year at university, blending into the background.
I’m not a recluse, but I keep to myself.
I study, I go to class, I read in the corner of the library, and I go home.
No unnecessary interactions. No unnecessary attention.
That is, until he noticed me.
Pedri.
Everyone in our uni knows who he is. He’s that guy, the one with effortless charm, always surrounded by people.
Popular, not just because he’s good at football, but because he’s him. He moves through life with a kind of ease I can’t even imagine.
And yet, for some reason, he keeps looking at me.
I don’t get it. I don’t know what he sees.
At first, I ignore it. I convince myself I’m imagining things. But then, it happens again.
And again.
Until one day, he does more than just look.
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It started off small.
"Hey," a voice says, casual but confident.
My highlighter sits on the page.
A thick streak of neon yellow bleeds over a sentence I was trying to mark, but my brain suddenly forgets how to function because someone is talking to me.
Slowly, very slowly, I turn my head.
He’s already sitting beside me, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
A dark hoodie, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, a grin that’s just a little too amused.
His presence feels loud, even though he’s not making any actual noise.
My first instinct? Escape.
My second? Stare.
I do both in rapid succession, my eyes flicking toward the exit, then warily back at him, as if assessing how much of a threat he poses.
He doesn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he does, and just doesn’t care.
"...Hi?" I say, but it comes out more like a question than a greeting.
His grin widens, like this is completely normal.
Like we talk all the time.
“You’re in my psychology class, right?”
I blink at him. That’s what this is about?
I nod once, not trusting my voice, because I don’t know why he’s here, or what he wants, and I hate not knowing things.
He leans back in his chair, completely at ease.
His dark eyes scan the open book in front of me, then flick back up to my face.
“You’re quiet.”
I exhale slowly through my nose. No shit.
I don’t reply.
I just wait. People like him, people who talk first and think later, usually get bored when they don’t get the response they want.
Any second now, he’ll lose interest. Any second now—
"Like, really quiet," he continues, undeterred.
His chin rests on his palm, elbow propped on the table, as if he’s studying me.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say a full sentence.”
I resist the urge to sigh. Or groan. Or bang my head against the table.
Instead, I press my lips together and attempt to salvage my poor, over-highlighted page.
"Maybe because I don’t have anything to say."
He chuckles, low and warm, like I’ve just told some inside joke we both share.
Except we don’t.
“I don’t buy that,” he says.
I glance at him again, this time with actual irritation.
"Why do you care?"
His shoulders lift in an easy shrug, like he hasn’t even considered the question before.
“I don’t know. You’re interesting.”
I actually laugh. A small, startled sound that slips out before I can stop it.
Not because he’s right, but because that has to be the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.
"I’m not interesting," I say, shaking my head.
"You just don’t know me well enough to be bored yet."
His smirk deepens. "See? That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile."
I roll my eyes and refocus on my book.
"Congratulations. You’ve unlocked a new achievement."
He leans forward slightly, like I’ve just confirmed something for him. "So you can be sarcastic. Good to know."
I bite back another sigh. He’s not leaving. He’s settling in.
For a moment, I consider my options.
I could:
A) Ignore him until he gets the hint. B) Pack up my stuff and relocate to another part of the library. C) Say something so cold and blunt that he’ll regret ever sitting here.
I’m still debating when he speaks again.
"You always sit here," he muses.
I glance at him. "What?"
"In the library. Right here. This exact table." He tilts his head, thinking.
"You come in, you pull out your books, you highlight the hell out of your pages, and you don’t talk to anyone."
I stare at him, my pulse kicking up a notch.
"Have you been watching me?"
He shrugs, completely unapologetic. "More like... noticing."
"That’s the same thing."
"Not really," he counters, that lazy smirk still in place.
"Watching is weird. Noticing is just, paying attention."
I frown, my grip tightening on my highlighter.
"Why are you paying attention to me?"
He tilts his head, considering. "I don’t know. Maybe I like mysteries."
I scoff. "I’m not a mystery."
"Debatable."
I shake my head and focus very intently on my book.
But the problem is, I can still feel him there, his gaze lingering, his presence impossible to ignore.
And for the first time in forever, I feel seen.
I hate it.
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Pedri doesn’t leave me alone after that.
At first, I tell myself it’s a coincidence.
A fluke.
That first conversation in the library? A one-time thing.
A moment of fleeting curiosity on his part.
But then it happens again. And again. And again.
It starts small.
A casual wave when he spots me across campus.
At first, I ignore it, assuming he’s greeting someone behind me.
But when I glance over my shoulder and see no one there, I realize, he’s waving at me.
I don’t wave back.
But that doesn’t stop him.
The next time, he adds a grin to it. The time after that, he calls my name, loud enough that people turn to look.
(Which, obviously, mortifies me.)
Then, there’s class.
He used to sit on the other side of the room.
I know this because I used to specifically sit where I wouldn’t have to be around too many people.
But one day, Pedri is suddenly there, dropping into the seat next to me like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Like he’s always been there.
I glance at him, suspicious. He just shrugs, pulling out his notebook.
"Better view from here."
I don’t buy that for a second, but I also don’t argue.
And then there are the conversations.
Or, more accurately, the ones he forces me into.
"So, what’s your verdict on our professor? Secretly a vampire, or just really hates sunlight?"
"If you had to survive on only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? And if you say something boring like ‘salad,’ I might actually cry."
"I bet you secretly have a list of people you’d commit crimes for. I respect it."
Some days, I ignore him completely.
Other days, his persistence wears me down, and I give in with a sigh.
"Pasta," I mumble one afternoon.
He blinks. "Huh?"
"If I had to survive on one food. Pasta."
His entire face lights up like I’ve just gifted him something.
"Yes! Solid answer. Now, important follow-up question: are we talking plain pasta, or are you a sauce person?"
I sigh again, but this time, it’s less annoying. Maybe even a little amused.
Just a little.
And that’s how it starts.
I don’t even realize it’s happening at first.
How, little by little, I stop avoiding him.
How my replies stretch from one-word answers to full sentences.
How my body relaxes when he shows up, instead of tensing like I used to.
How I catch myself looking for him in class before he even arrives.
I try to convince myself that it means nothing.
That it’s just habit. That he’s just there, and I’ve gotten used to it.
But habits don’t make my heart skip when I see him across the quad.
Habits don’t make me bite back a smile when he says something stupid.
Habits don’t make my chest ache in ways I don’t know how to handle.
And somehow—without me fully understanding how or when or why, we become friends.
Or something dangerously close to it.
And it terrifies me.
Because Pedri is warmth, and I am used to distance.
Because he is effortless, and I have spent my whole life trying to be untouchable.
Because the more time I spend with him, the more I feel.
And feelings?
Feelings are dangerous.
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Then it started with an invitation,
A casual one. Like it’s no big deal.
"Hey, wanna grab lunch with me?"
I glance up from my book, blinking at Pedri like he just asked me to rob a bank with him.
"What?"
"Lunch," he repeats, standing beside my table with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie.
"You know, that thing people eat in the middle of the day?"
I roll my eyes. "I know what lunch is."
"Great. Then let’s go." He gestures toward the door like this is already decided.
I hesitate. "Why?"
"Because we both have to eat, and food is better with company," he says simply.
"And don’t say you weren’t planning to eat, because that would be tragic."
I chew on my bottom lip, searching for an excuse, any excuse, but nothing comes to mind.
Pedri doesn’t give me time to think too hard about it.
He reaches for my bag, lifting it from the table before I can protest.
"Come on," he says, grinning. "I promise not to bite."
I sigh, knowing I’ve already lost.
"Fine," I mumble. "But if this place is loud and crowded, I’m leaving."
He smirks. "Noted."
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The restaurant he takes me to is small and tucked away, a quiet little place that somehow doesn’t feel overwhelming.
It’s warm inside, the air rich with the scent of fresh bread and spices.
There’s soft music playing in the background, and to my relief, no overwhelming crowd.
"See?" Pedri says as we step in. "Not too bad, right?"
I nod slowly. "It’s... nice."
He grins, clearly pleased with himself. "Told you I’d pick a good place."
We find a booth by the window, and for the first time, I feel oddly at ease.
We order our food, and somehow, Pedri keeps me engaged in conversation the entire time.
It’s easy. Effortless.
He talks about everything, his classes, his teammates, a hilarious story about how he once fell asleep in the middle of a Zoom lecture and got called out for it.
I laugh before I can stop myself.
He looks ridiculously proud of this accomplishment.
"You like my suffering," he accuses, eyes gleaming.
"I’m just impressed by your ability to sleep through an entire class," I tease.
Pedri gasps dramatically. "So she can joke. This is a breakthrough moment."
I roll my eyes, but I’m smiling.
We eat slowly, the conversation flowing without effort.
And it’s nice. Too nice.
Because for the first time in a long time, I feel something dangerously close to happy.
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After lunch, Pedri suggests a walk.
I should say no. I should go back to my dorm, back to my safe space.
But instead, I find myself walking beside him, our steps slow and unhurried.
The campus is quieter now, the afternoon sun casting a golden hue over the trees. It feels peaceful.
We eventually find an empty bench near the park and sit down.
I exhale, tilting my head back slightly to feel the breeze on my skin.
Pedri watches me for a moment before speaking.
"You don’t let a lot of people in, do you?"
I glance at him. "That obvious?"
He shrugs. "I just notice things."
A beat of silence. Then—
"Why?" he asks softly.
I chew on the inside of my cheek. I don’t usually talk about this. I don’t talk about myself at all.
But with Pedri, it feels... safe.
"I like peace," I admit finally. "I like being quiet. Being unnoticed. It’s easier."
Pedri stays silent, waiting. Letting me talk.
I take a breath.
"People... they take up space. They expect things. They need things. And I—" I pause, searching for the right words.
"I don’t know how to be what people need. So I just don’t try. So I won't end up getting hurt."
Pedri listens carefully, nodding like he understands.
I look down at my hands.
"I spent so long blending into the background that I guess I forgot how to be anything else."
Pedri exhales softly. When he speaks, his voice is gentle.
"I get that," he says.
I glance at him, surprised.
He leans back against the bench, gazing up at the sky.
"You know, people always assume I like attention just because I’m popular. Because I’m always around people, always talking."
I nod slightly. He’s right. I did assume that.
"But the truth is," he continues, "I don’t care about any of that."
I frown. "Then why—"
"Why you?" He turns his head to look at me. "Why did I notice you?"
I swallow, my throat suddenly dry.
Pedri smiles, but it’s softer this time. "Because you’re real."
I blink. "What?"
"Everyone else is so... loud," he says.
"Always trying to be something, trying to impress, trying to fit into whatever image they think they need to be."
He shifts slightly, his knee brushing against mine.
"But you? You’re just you," he murmurs. "And that’s rare."
My heart does something weird in my chest. I don’t like it.
Pedri studies my face for a moment, then sighs.
"Look, I know you like being on your own. I know you don’t trust people easily. And I get that. But..." He hesitates, then turns fully toward me.
"Give me a chance," he says.
I inhale sharply. "Pedri—"
"Just a chance," he insists.
"Let me prove to you that I’m not like everyone else. That I don’t just want something from you."
I bite my lip, staring at the ground.
"You scare me," I whisper.
He blinks. "Me?"
I nod. "Not in a bad way. Just... you make me feel things. And I don’t know how to handle that."
Pedri’s gaze softens, and he reaches out, hesitating for a second before lightly brushing his fingers against mine.
"You don’t have to handle it alone," he says gently.
"Let me in. Just a little."
I look at our hands, barely touching, then back at him.
His expression is so open, so earnest, that something in me cracks just a little.
Maybe just a little wouldn’t be so bad.
Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.
I take a deep breath. Then, slowly, hesitantly, I nod.
Pedri smiles, squeezing my fingers lightly before pulling away, giving me space.
And for the first time, it doesn’t feel terrifying.
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It happens gradually.
One moment, he’s just there, the way he always is, persistent, warm, impossible to ignore.
The next, he’s everywhere.
And suddenly, Pedri is mine.
Which is strange...
If you would've told me I would end up with the most popular guy of my uni, I would've straight up laughed in your face.
But, here we're... I guess.
It’s funny how quickly I get used to him.
To his presence, his warmth, the way he seamlessly fits into my life like he’s always been there.
And maybe it should scare me.
Maybe I should keep my distance, hold onto the walls I spent so long building.
But with Pedri, distance feels... impossible.
Because he refuses to be anything less than close.
It doesn’t take long for people to notice.
Because Pedri isn’t subtle. At all.
If anything, he seems to take genuine delight in shocking people.
Like the time we’re walking across campus, and he suddenly grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
I freeze.
"Pedri—" I start, eyes darting around, but he just squeezes my hand.
"Relax," he murmurs, glancing down at me with a small smile.
"It’s just me."
I exhale slowly. It’s just him.
I tell myself to pull away, but I don’t.
And then I really regret it when I hear a group of students whispering nearby.
"Wait—are they holding hands?"
"No way. Pedri and y/n?"
"How did that even happen?"
I feel my entire face heat up, but Pedri? He doesn’t care at all.
If anything, he likes it.
Because the next day, when we’re sitting together in class, he casually reaches over and plays with my fingers under the desk.
Like it’s a habit.
Like he just wants to touch me.
"Pedri," I hiss quietly, trying to pull my hand away.
He smirks but tightens his grip. "You’re cute when you’re flustered."
I glare at him. "You’re annoying."
"And yet," he hums, "you still let me hold your hand."
Damn it.
Outside of school, it’s even worse.
Because Pedri doesn’t just want to see me in class, he wants to see me all the time.
"Are you free later?" he asks one afternoon.
I glance up from my notes. "Why?"
"Because I wanna see you," he says easily.
I blink. "You see me every day."
He grins. "Yeah, and?"
I sigh but don’t argue. Because, honestly?
I want to see him too.
Some nights, he comes over with zero warning.
Like when I’m sitting on my bed, fully prepared to spend my evening reading, and suddenly—
Knock, knock.
I groan, already knowing who it is.
When I open the door, Pedri is standing there with two cups of hot chocolate and a ridiculously pleased expression.
"You didn’t text me," I say, raising an eyebrow.
"Didn’t think I needed to," he says, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation.
I sigh. "What if I was busy?"
He flops onto my bed, looking completely at home. "Then I’d just sit here and wait for you to be un-busy."
I shake my head, but my lips twitch. I hate how much I like this.
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One day, we’re supposed to grab lunch, but it starts pouring out of nowhere.
Pedri and I sprint across campus, completely drenched by the time we duck into the nearest café.
I groan, wringing out my hoodie. "Well, this sucks."
Pedri grins, shaking water from his hair like a golden retriever.
"Nah. I kinda like it."
"You like being soaked?" I deadpan.
"No," he chuckles. "I like that it means I get to stay here with you longer."
And damn it, he means it.
I shake my head, trying to ignore the way my heart clenches.
We sit by the window, watching the rain while sharing a plate of fries.
Pedri drapes his hoodie over my shoulders because I’m still shivering, and when I glance at him, he just shrugs.
"What’s mine is yours, princesa."
I roll my eyes, but the warmth in my chest doesn’t go away.
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One night, we’re lying on my bed, facing each other in the soft glow of my bedside lamp.
It’s quiet, comfortable.
Pedri reaches out, tracing lazy patterns on my wrist.
"You ever think about what would’ve happened if I never sat next to you that day?" he murmurs.
I blink. "What?"
"In the library," he says. "If I never sat down. If I never talked to you or approached you. What do you think would’ve happened?"
I think about it for a second. "I guess... nothing."
Pedri frowns slightly.
"You wouldn’t have noticed me," I explain. "And I would’ve kept living my life the way I always have."
His grip on my wrist tightens slightly. "That’s a terrible answer."
I laugh softly. "It’s the truth."
"Well, I hate it," he says.
I tilt my head. "Why?"
Pedri exhales.
"Because I can’t imagine my life without you now," he murmurs. "And I don’t want to."
My breath catches.
He’s staring at me with so much emotion, like I’m the most important thing in his universe.
"I meant what I said," he continues softly.
"I don’t care that you’re quiet. I don’t care that you like being in the background. I don’t care that people think we don’t make sense."
His fingers brush against my cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"You make sense to me," he whispers.
I don’t know what to say.
Pedri smiles slightly like he can hear all the things I’m too scared to say.
"You don’t have to say anything," he murmurs.
"Just, promise me you won’t push me away."
I swallow. "Pedri..."
"Please," he breathes. "Just let me love you."
My chest tightens, the weight of his words settling deep inside me.
But instead of answering, I reach for him, fingers threading through his hair as I pull him closer.
His lips meet mine, slow, soft, certain, and in that moment, I know.
I know that Pedri is different.
I know that I’ve already fallen for him.
And for the first time in a long time,
I don’t want to run.
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It’s a normal day at school.
Or at least, it should be.
Except nothing is ever normal when you’re dating Pedri.
We’re sitting outside on one of the campus benches, a rare moment of peace in between classes.
I’m trying to eat my lunch, but Pedri, ever the distraction, is making that very difficult.
"You’re not even paying attention to me," he pouts, resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Because I’m eating," I say, taking another bite of my sandwich.
"But I’m right here."
"And?"
"And I require attention."
I roll my eyes, but I can’t hide my smile.
Pedri grins, clearly pleased with himself.
He reaches up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, then lets his fingers trail down my arm before entwining our hands together.
"Better," he hums, like this was the missing piece of his day.
I shake my head but squeeze his hand anyway.
For a moment, it’s quiet, and comfortable, like it always is with him.
And then he drops a bombshell.
"So, I was thinking... you should come to my parents’ house this weekend."
I nearly choke on my drink. "Wait—what?"
"To my parents’ house," he repeats easily as if he’s asking me to grab a coffee, not meet his entire family.
"For dinner. Just something casual."
Casual?
Meeting his parents is casual?!
My brain short-circuits.
"Pedri, I—" I pause, exhaling. "That’s... a big step."
He tilts his head, studying me. "Is it?"
"Yes," I say, nodding vigorously.
"I mean, it’s your family. What if they don’t like me?"
Pedri immediately frowns, turning his entire body towards me.
"First of all, there’s literally no way they won’t like you."
I bite my lip, looking down at my hands. "You don’t know that."
"Yes, I do," he says firmly.
"You’re smart, and kind, and funny, and—" He pauses, squeezing my hand.
"And you make me happy. That’s all they need to know."
I feel my heart clench.
Damn him. Damn him and his words that make me weak.
I hesitate for a few more seconds before exhaling. "Okay... I’ll go."
His face lights up, and suddenly, I know I made the right choice.
"Good," he says smugly.
"Because if you said no, I was gonna beg."
I snort. "I would’ve made you suffer a little first."
"That’s mean."
"That’s justice."
Pedri grins, tugging me closer. "I knew I liked you for a reason."
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That weekend, I stood in front of my mirror, stressing out.
What do you wear to meet your boyfriend’s parents?
I don’t want to be too formal and look like I’m trying too hard, but I also don’t want to look like I just threw on the first thing I found.
After way too much debating, I settle on something simple yet cute, just enough effort to look put-together.
And right on cue, my phone buzzes.
Pedri: I’m outside <3
I grab my bag, take a deep breath, and head out.
As soon as I open the door, I see him leaning against his car, arms crossed, a lazy grin spreading across his face the moment he sees me.
"Wow," he whistles, giving me an obvious once-over.
I shift on my feet, suddenly self-conscious. "What?"
"You look—" He pauses, stepping closer. "Beautiful."
My face heats up. "Shut up."
"I’m serious," he murmurs, eyes shining.
"My mom’s gonna love you even more now."
I roll my eyes but smile as he opens the car door for me.
As we drive, I feel the nerves creeping in again.
My hands rest stiffly on my lap, and I stare out the window, chewing on my lip.
Pedri notices immediately.
Without a word, he reaches over and takes my hand, intertwining our fingers.
"Breathe, princesa," he murmurs.
I exhale shakily. "I just don’t want to mess this up."
"You won’t."
"How do you know?"
Pedri lifts our joined hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles.
"Because you’re you," he says simply.
And just like that, some of the nerves fade.
As soon as we arrive, Pedri barely has time to knock before the door swings open, revealing his mother.
"Hola, cariño!" she exclaims, pulling Pedri into a tight hug, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.
He laughs, hugging her back. "Hola, mamá."
Then, her eyes land on me.
And suddenly, I forget how to breathe.
"And this must be y/n, the girl I’ve heard so much about," she says warmly, her gaze kind and curious.
I hesitate for a moment before stepping forward, offering a polite smile. "Hi, it’s really nice to meet you."
To my surprise, her face softens even more before she pulls me into a gentle hug.
"Oh, you’re adorable," she murmurs before pulling away.
"Come in, come in."
As we step inside, I glance at Pedri, who is smirking at me like he knew this would happen.
He leans down, whispering, "Told you she’d love you."
I glare at him, nudging him with my elbow, but the warmth in my chest doesn’t fade.
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The house is warm and inviting, decorated with framed pictures of Pedri and his family.
Some are from his childhood, others more recent, like his love for football evident in every corner.
I take a moment to glance at one of the shelves, where several of his trophies and awards sit proudly.
"You’re staring, princesa," Pedri teases, nudging my shoulder.
"It’s just weird seeing your entire life displayed like this," I murmur.
Before he can reply, a deep voice cuts through the room.
"So this is the famous girl?"
I turn to see Fernando, Pedri’s older brother, leaning against the doorway with an amused expression.
"The one and only," Pedri says smugly, throwing an arm around my shoulders.
I shoot him a look but manage a polite smile. "It’s nice to meet you."
Fernando nods, eyeing Pedri. "Well, I have to say, I’m impressed. I thought you were just making her up."
I snort, while Pedri glares. "I hate you."
"Love you too, hermano."
His mother shakes her head, laughing. "Boys, enough. Let’s eat."
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Dinner is incredible, and not just the food (which is honestly some of the best I’ve ever had).
Pedri’s mom made a full spread, and every bite tastes like it was cooked with love.
"This is amazing," I say, genuinely in awe.
His mom beams. "Thank you, cariño. Eat as much as you want."
"Careful," Fernando jokes. "She’ll try to adopt you if you say that too many times."
Pedri smirks. "Too late. She’s already mine."
I nearly choke on my drink.
His mother laughs while Fernando groans.
"God, you’re embarrassing."
Pedri shrugs, completely unfazed, squeezing my knee under the table.
Throughout the meal, his parents ask me questions, not in an overwhelming way, but enough to show that they’re genuinely interested in getting to know me.
His dad is quieter but still warm, occasionally chiming in with a question or a story about Pedri as a kid.
"Did he tell you he used to cry when he lost board games?" his dad asks, smirking.
I light up. "No, but I love that."
Pedri groans, slumping in his chair. "Why are we exposing me?"
"Because it’s fun," Fernando says, grinning.
I giggle, and Pedri shoots me a betrayed look.
"You’re supposed to be on my side," he mutters.
"I am," I say sweetly. "Just... not right now."
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After dinner, I insist on helping with the dishes.
"Oh, no, cariño, you’re a guest," his mother says, waving me off.
"Please," I say, offering a small smile. "I want to help."
She eyes me for a moment before nodding. "Alright. But only because you asked so nicely."
As we stand by the sink, washing plates, she suddenly speaks up.
"You know," she starts, her tone thoughtful, "I wasn’t a fan of the other girls Pedri has dated."
I blink, glancing at her. "Oh?"
She nods, rinsing a dish.
"They only wanted him for his name and popularity. But you... you seem different."
I swallow. "I just like him for who he is."
She smiles softly. "I know. And that’s why I like you."
Something warm blooms in my chest.
"You’re good for him," she continues.
"He’s always been surrounded by people who want something from him. But with you? I see the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you."
She pauses, drying her hands before turning to face me.
"I can tell you care about him."
I nod, my throat feeling tight. "I do. A lot."
She smiles, patting my hand. "Then that’s all I need to know."
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As we drive back, Pedri is grinning like an idiot.
"That went amazing," he says, eyes flickering to me.
"It did," I admit.
"See? You worried for nothing."
I sigh. "Yeah, yeah. You were right."
He gasps dramatically. "Wait, say that again?"
"I will never repeat it."
He laughs, reaching over to squeeze my thigh. "I’m proud of you, princesa."
I glance at him. "Why?"
"Because I know this wasn’t easy for you," he says softly.
"But you did it. And my mom loves you. My dad and Fernando too."
I bite my lip. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," he murmurs. "But more importantly, I love you."
My heart stops.
Pedri, realizing what he just said, suddenly tenses.
"Wait—" His eyes widen. "I mean—"
I laugh softly. "It’s okay, Pedri."
He swallows. "I just... I love you, okay? And I don’t care if that scares you. I’m not going anywhere."
I look at him, really look at him, and feel something inside me settle.
I don’t answer right away. Instead, I reach over, lacing my fingers with his.
"Drive, Pedri," I whisper.
He exhales, squeezing my hand. "I’ll wait for you, princesa. However long it takes."
And as we head home, I realize—
I don’t think it’ll take very long at all.
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It was another boring uni day. A day full of back-to-back classes.
I’m in the library, stacking my books neatly into my arms, already mentally preparing for my next class.
My mind is quiet, calm, focused on anything but him.
Pedri had texted me this morning, telling me he had early practice and would see me later.
"Have a good day, princesa ❤️ Miss you."
I had smiled when I read it.
I shouldn’t have.
I adjust my grip on the books and turn toward the exit. Then I hear it.
Laughter. Loud voices.
At first, I don’t think anything of it. Until I hear my name.
I stop. My heart stutters.
I tell myself it’s nothing, that maybe I misheard, that maybe it’s just some random conversation.
But then a voice cuts through the noise, A voice I know better than anyone else’s.
His voice.
Pedri.
My stomach twists, my fingers tightening around the books as I take a cautious step forward.
The voices are coming from the hallway just ahead, around the corner.
I shouldn’t listen. I shouldn’t. But I do.
"Bro, you’re actually still with her?" one of his friends cackles.
"I swear I thought this was just a bet or some shit."
Pedri laughs.
That’s the first stab.
"Nah, man. No bet."
"Then what the fuck is it?" someone else scoffs. "There’s no way you’re actually into her."
Pedri lets out a low chuckle. "Come on, man. You really think I’d go for a girl like that?"
A girl like that.
"Exactly," another voice chimes in.
"She’s fucking boring, bro. Always sitting in the back, never talking, just reading like she’s in some old-ass novel or something. You could have literally anyone, why waste time on her?"
"It’s not like that," Pedri says easily. "She’s just… convenient."
The air leaves my lungs.
"Convenient?" one of his friends laughs. "What, like a little charity case?"
Pedri doesn’t deny it.
He fucking laughs.
"Nah, it’s just easy, you know?" he shrugs.
"She doesn’t ask for much. Doesn’t complain. Doesn’t make a big deal out of shit. I don’t have to try too hard."
"So you’re with her because she’s easy?"
Pedri snickers.
"More like… low maintenance. She’s quiet, doesn’t bother me when I’m busy, doesn’t start drama. It’s just chill. I don’t have to worry about her blowing up my phone or expecting too much."
I feel sick.
"Damn, so you’re basically keeping her around for convenience?"
"I mean, yeah," Pedri mutters. "She’s just... there. It’s not that deep."
The laughter erupts around him.
I think I might throw up.
"Fucking knew it," one of them howls. "You had us thinking you were actually in love with her or some shit."
Pedri laughs harder.
"Come on, man. You really think I’d fall for her?"
My heart shatters.
I can’t listen anymore. I can’t.
The pain is too much, the walls around me caving in, my vision blurring with unshed tears.
I need to get out of here.
I don’t know how long I stand there.
Seconds? Minutes?
Everything is a blur.
Their laughter rings in my ears, mocking me, haunting me.
Tears burn at the back of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.
I won’t let them have that power over me. My body moves on its own. One step.
Then another.
Then I’m walking away.
I don’t care where I’m going.
I just need to get the hell out of there.
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I don’t go to my next class. I don’t care about my next class. I walk. Fast.
Away from the library, away from the voices, away from the truth clawing at my chest.
I feel numb.
Like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I’m just walking around with a hollow, empty space inside me.
My phone vibrates in my pocket.
I don’t check it. I don’t need to. It’s him. It has to be. I ignore it.
I ignore the ache in my chest, the sting behind my eyes, the lump in my throat that makes it hard to breathe.
I just keep walking.
By the time I finally return to my dorm, the sky is a deep shade of blue, the sun barely peeking over the horizon.
I close the door behind me, my body exhausted, drained.
And then there’s a knock. I hesitate, my pulse spiking.
I already know who it is.
I take a slow, shaky breath, gripping the door handle before pulling it open.
Pedri stands there.
His brows are furrowed, concern laced into every inch of his face.
"What the hell, Y/N?" he asks immediately. "Why haven’t you been answering me all day?"
I stare at him.
He looks so… confused. Like he has no idea what he did.
That makes me angrier.
"Go away, Pedri."
His eyes widen slightly. "What? No. What’s going on? Did something happen?"
I let out a harsh, bitter laugh. "Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you ask your friends?"
He freezes. And I see it.
I see the exact moment realization hits.
His lips part slightly, but no words come out.
"Yeah," I say, voice shaking. "I heard you. I heard everything."
"Princesa—"
"Don’t." I take a step back. "Just don’t."
His jaw clenches. "I didn’t mean it."
I laugh again, but it hurts.
"Right," I nod. "Because saying I’m just some joke? Saying you’re pretending to like me? That just… accidentally came out of your mouth?"
"It’s not like that," he says quickly, stepping forward. "Please, Y/n. Just let me explain."
"Explain what?" I snap. "That I’m just some quiet, boring idiot who actually believed you cared about me?"
He flinches.
"That’s not true," he says, his voice softer now.
"It doesn’t matter," I whisper.
"It does."
"No, Pedri. It really doesn’t."
I exhale shakily, looking away for a moment before meeting his gaze one last time.
"I can’t do this anymore."
His breath catches. "What?"
"We’re done."
I step back, my hands shaking as I close the door in his face.
For a few seconds, I don’t move.
I don’t breathe.
And then I hear it—
A soft, desperate whisper from the other side of the door.
"Please don’t leave me."
Tears stream down my face.
But I don’t open the door.
And I don’t look back.
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The days blur together, a mess of sleepless nights and suffocating thoughts.
I barely eat, barely leave my dorm, barely exist outside of my own mind.
Every time I close my eyes, I hear his voice.
Every time I let my thoughts wander, I remember the way his words sliced through me like a blade.
My phone buzzes constantly, but I ignore it.
At first, I let it ring, let the messages pile up, let his name flash across my screen like a cruel reminder of what happened.
But he doesn’t stop.
"Y/n, please." "At least talk to me." "I need to explain." "I miss you."
Every day, every hour, his messages come in, desperate and persistent.
And every time, I stare at them with tears burning in my eyes, fingers hovering over the screen before I lock my phone and shove it under my pillow.
Then, after a few days, I finally block him.
I expect that to be the end of it.
But Pedri doesn’t give up so easily.
It starts with soft knocks on my door, hesitant at first, then firmer when I don’t answer.+
I stay curled up in bed, biting my lip to keep from crying out in frustration.
Then, when I wake up one morning and open my door, I see flowers.
A bouquet of my favorite ones, left neatly against the doorframe.
The first time, I hesitate.
The second time, I stare at them for a long time before stepping over them.
The third time, I pick them up, hold them in my hands for a moment, and then drop them in the trash.
And yet, the next day, there’s another bouquet.
Every single day, without fail, there’s a new one waiting for me. And every time, I feel my resolve cracking a little bit more.
But I’m not ready.
I don’t even know if I ever will be.
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One week later, I finally force myself to go back to school.
I can’t hide forever.
I tell myself I’ve had time to heal, that I’ve built up enough strength to walk these halls without feeling like I’m suffocating under the weight of my own emotions.
That I can handle seeing him again.
But the second I step onto campus, my chest tightens, and my heart pounds against my ribcage like it’s trying to escape.
I keep my head down, moving quickly, avoiding eye contact, avoiding him.
But I can feel it. His presence. His eyes.
I know he’s seen me. I don’t look.
I don’t want to see the desperation in his expression, don’t want to acknowledge the way my stomach twists painfully at the thought of him standing somewhere nearby, watching me, waiting.
I force myself through class, focus on my notes, pretend everything is normal even though nothing is normal anymore.
But later, as I leave my last lecture, I barely take two steps before I feel it—
A hand gently grabbing my wrist, pulling me back.
I freeze.
His touch is familiar, careful, like he’s afraid I’ll run.
"Y/n."
His voice is quiet, raw, holding a plea that makes my throat tighten.
I squeeze my eyes shut for a second before finally turning around, my expression carefully blank.
Pedri stands there, looking at me like I’m the most important thing in the world and he’s terrified he’s already lost me.
"Please," he says softly, his fingers still around my wrist. "Just let me explain."
I exhale slowly, trying to keep my voice steady. "There’s nothing to explain, Pedri."
"Yes, there is," he insists, stepping closer.
His hold on my wrist loosens, but he doesn’t let go completely, like he’s afraid that if he does, I’ll disappear.
"Just give me five minutes. That’s all I’m asking."
I hesitate, my mind screaming at me to walk away. But something in his eyes, something so painfully real, holds me in place.
I sigh, crossing my arms. "Fine. Five minutes."
He pulls me aside to a quieter part of campus, away from the crowd, away from prying eyes.
I stand stiffly, my arms still crossed, my body tense like I’m ready to run at any second.
"I never meant what I said," he starts immediately. "I swear to you, Y/n. I didn’t mean a single fucking word of it."
I let out a hollow laugh. "Right. You just happened to say all those things for fun? Just to impress your asshole friends?"
"No," he says quickly, shaking his head. "It wasn’t for fun. It was to protect you."
I blink. "Excuse me?"
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair.
"Those guys? They’re not my friends. They never were. But they have a way of making people’s lives hell. I knew that if I admitted how much I cared about you, they’d go after you. Mock you. Make your life miserable. I thought if I played it off, if I made it seem like I didn’t care, they’d lose interest and leave you alone. Trust me Y/n iy happened before and it had gotten really ugly. I didn't want that to happen to the person I love."
I stare at him, my heart pounding in my chest. "You really think that justifies what you said?"
"No," he admits, his voice softer. "It doesn’t. I was an idiot. I should’ve told you. I should’ve trusted you to understand. But I swear to you, Y/n, I would never actually think those things about you."
"Be a fucking man Pedri and instead of doing this shit stand up for the person you supposedly love. You're nothing but a pussy."
I swallow, my emotions warring inside me. I don’t know what to feel.
So I leave. Again.
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Later that day,
It all happens too quickly.
One moment, I’m walking across campus, lost in my own thoughts, and the next, there’s chaos.
A crowd gathers around a scene near the student quad. Loud shouts and yells fill the air.
My heart skips a beat as I push through the mass of students, trying to catch a glimpse of what’s going on.
I’m not expecting to see what I do.
There’s Pedri.
His fists are flying, and the guy he’s fighting, the asshole, is holding his jaw, clearly stunned.
But Pedri doesn’t stop. He throws another punch, fury in his eyes. I see the red in his face, the anger, and it’s not just at the guy. It’s everything. The hurt. The frustration.
The last few weeks have been hell for both of us, but in this moment, it’s all coming out.
His fists are like his words, punching through everything that’s built up, everything that’s been left unsaid.
But I can’t watch it anymore. I’ve seen enough violence in my life to know when things are about to spiral.
“Pedri! Stop!” I shout, pushing through the crowd to grab his arm, pulling him back.
He jerks his head towards me, his expression wild, eyes wide with a mix of rage and confusion.
I hold onto his arm tightly, trying to calm him down.
I don’t know why I’m even doing this for him, but it’s like I’m drawn to him, like I can’t just walk away.
His chest rises and falls rapidly, but slowly, the fight drains out of him as he looks into my eyes.
His breath is ragged, and his hands are clenched into tight fists, knuckles covered in blood.
“Are you stupid?” I mutter, my hands trembling slightly as I grab his arm and pull him away from the scene.
The crowd disperses, some murmuring, others filming with their phones.
Pedri doesn't fight me.
He lets me drag him away, and somehow, I find myself leading him into the first-aid room, a small quiet space where the tension in my chest can finally loosen, even if just a little.
I shove him onto the chair and kneel down, rummaging through the first aid kit.
“Why do you do this?” I ask, my voice shaking. I try to stay calm, but my hands are shaking as I pull out the bandages.
I clean his bloody knuckles carefully, avoiding looking at him too much. I can’t let myself soften. Not yet.
He sighs deeply, his voice low, raw. “He was talking shit about you again. That guy, he just won’t leave you alone. I had to make it stop.”
My heart sinks, and I bite my lip hard. I don’t know how to feel. My stomach churns.
Why did he feel the need to fight again? Why did he let it get this far?
“But why do you keep doing this?” I whisper, my voice barely audible.
"I... I don’t understand, Pedri. You say you care, but you keep pushing me away in the worst ways possible."
Pedri doesn’t answer right away. He stares at me for a long moment, his brow furrowed as though he’s considering every word carefully.
I can see the guilt in his eyes, the regret, the desperation. He wants me to understand. He needs me to.
“I—” He hesitates, his voice cracking slightly.
“I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel like you were a joke. I thought... I thought I was protecting you, Y/n. From people who wouldn’t appreciate you the way I do. Those guys... They’ll never understand how much you mean to me. But they will hurt you if they think you matter to me."
I’m speechless, blinking at him. There’s a part of me that wants to scream, to tell him he’s full of shit, but the truth in his eyes catches me off guard.
He’s being real, and it’s so hard for me to reconcile that with the image of the guy I heard talking shit about me, degrading me, the guy I’ve been blocking out of my life for a week.
“You should’ve told me that before, Pedri.” I swallow hard.
My voice trembles with the weight of everything.
“Instead of... doing that. I don’t understand why you had to hurt me first.”
He doesn’t look away. He looks... guilty.
“I didn’t know how to explain. I didn’t want you to think I was using you as some kind of... shield or something. But I wasn’t. I swear, I wasn’t.”
His eyes soften as he gently reaches for my hand, his touch so careful now, like I might shatter at any second.
I pull away, feeling the heat of his gaze burn into me.
“I don’t know if I can forgive you yet, Pedri,” I whisper, my voice barely a breath.
“You hurt me too much. And... I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel anymore.”
He nods, his lips pressing together in frustration. “I’ll do anything to make it right. I don’t care what it takes.”
I turn away, my heart heavy, my thoughts too tangled to untangle.
It’s not so simple anymore. I don’t know if it ever will be.
I walk away, feeling like a piece of me is being pulled in two different directions.
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The days that follow are both long and quiet. The silence between Pedri and me feels deafening, like an invisible wall built higher with every moment.
He’s not giving up on me, though. Not even close.
It’s hard for me to stay distant. Hard for me to ignore him.
But it feels like I have no other choice. Every time I open my phone, I see his name.
Every time I hear a knock on my dorm door, I know it’s him. But I don’t answer. I won’t.
Still, something is different now. I notice his absence more than I expect.
The void he left in my life isn’t easy to fill. His quiet persistence is eating at me, but I won’t let it show. Not yet.
Pedri, however, doesn’t stop. He doesn’t let up.
At first, it’s small gestures. One morning, I find a handwritten note slipped under my door.
Just his name at the bottom, a few simple words.
“I’m sorry. Please give me a chance to prove I’m worth it.”
It’s the first time I’ve seen him so vulnerable. He’s always been confident, cocky even.
But this? This is different. I can feel the weight of his apology in the paper, and I fold it carefully, slipping it into my pocket.
Then, the flowers start.
He leaves them outside my dorm door every evening, sometimes daisies, sometimes sunflowers, always with a small note attached that says the same thing, “I’m sorry. Let me make it right.”
I feel the pull to just let him back in, but I resist. I’m not ready. I’m still broken.
Days go by, and I finally decide to leave my dorm to go to class. I walk through campus, trying to focus on the routine, trying to shut out everything else.
But I can’t. Pedri’s presence is everywhere.
I see him talking to the guys he used to hang out with, but now he’s different. He’s distant. Not laughing. Not joking around.
I can see it in the way he avoids eye contact, the way he doesn’t engage with them anymore.
His posture is closed off, like he’s shutting something down. I don’t know what it means, but something stirs in me.
Maybe it’s guilt, maybe it’s hope.
That’s when I notice it, his transformation.
Pedri has made a point to distance himself from the very people who encouraged him to hurt me.
He doesn’t hang out with those friends anymore. The ones who always made fun of me, belittled me, and tried to convince him I wasn’t “good enough.”
The ones who laughed at my expense and pushed him to do the same.
He’s even going out of his way to take different routes on campus, avoiding his old crew altogether.
It’s subtle at first, but it doesn’t go unnoticed. He’s proving to me, in the smallest ways, that he’s changing.
That he’s fighting for something that matters more than his pride.
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One day, I’m walking to class when I hear footsteps behind me. A familiar voice calls my name.
“Y/n.”
I don’t turn around, pretending like I didn’t hear him.
He’s been trying to talk to me for days, but every time I shut him down. It’s easier that way.
It’s safer.
But then, he’s right beside me, his presence undeniable.
“Please, just let me explain,” Pedri says, his voice low. There’s a softness in it now, no trace of arrogance. Just sincerity.
I finally stop, reluctantly meeting his eyes. He’s standing there, his expression full of regret, but something else, too, determination.
“I’m listening,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
“I... I’ve been thinking about everything,” he starts, hesitating, as if searching for the right words.
“I was an idiot, Y/n. I should’ve never listened to them, and I should’ve never pushed you away like I did. I wasn’t protecting you. I was just being selfish. And I never should’ve treated you like you were second best. I was wrong. I’m so sorry.”
His words hit me hard, and I want to yell at him. To tell him that his apology doesn’t fix anything.
But the truth is, he’s right. He was selfish. And I was hurt.
But there’s something about him, something in the way he’s looking at me now, that makes me wonder if he really means it.
“I don’t know, Pedri,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady.
“You say you’re sorry, but it doesn’t undo everything. It doesn’t fix what you said or what you did.”
“I know,” he replies quickly.
“And I’m not asking for you to forgive me right away. I’m asking for a chance to show you that I can do better. That I can be the person you deserve. But I need you to trust me. I need you to let me prove it.”
For a moment, we stand there in silence, my mind racing with all the things I’m still unsure about.
But then I notice it, the genuine effort in his eyes, the sincerity in his voice. He’s not just saying the right things.
He’s living it.
“I’ll prove it to you every day,” he says, his voice firm.
“I’ve already cut ties with the guys who put you down. I don’t need people like that in my life. They can think whatever they want, but you? You matter. You always have. I’ll prove that to you, Y/n. I swear.”
I swallow hard, his words breaking through my walls. I want to stay angry.
I want to stay hurt. But everything in me is telling me that maybe, just maybe, he’s worth another chance.
“I don’t know if I can trust you yet,” I whisper.
“But... I’ll try. Slowly.”
Pedri’s eyes light up, and for the first time in weeks, I see a glimpse of the boy I used to know.
“That’s all I need. Just a chance.”
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From that day on, I watch him like a hawk.
Pedri is relentless. He’s not just sending flowers or leaving notes anymore, he’s putting in real effort.
He spends his free time sitting with me in the library, helping me with schoolwork, never pushing for anything more.
Every time I see him talking to his old friends, he’s distant, his back turned, never engaging with the people who once made him feel like he was better than me.
He’s proving to me, with every small action, that he’s serious.
One day, as we sit in the park near campus, he looks at me quietly, his fingers tracing the rim of his coffee cup.
“I know it’s not enough,” he says softly,
“but I hope one day you’ll look at me and see someone who actually cares. Someone who will fight for you, no matter what.”
I look at him then, really look at him, and for the first time in a long while, I believe it.
He’s not perfect. He might have messed up. But he’s doing everything he can to make it right.
“Okay,” I whisper, my heart beating faster. “I’ll let you try.”
And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough for now.
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A few months later,
the tension between Pedri and me starts to ease. He’s patient, more so than I’ve ever seen him.
And with every day that passes, he seems to be putting more and more effort into proving that he’s not just saying the words.
He’s showing it.
But there’s something else. Something I can’t quite put my finger on.
Pedri hasn’t stopped trying to make things right, and it’s clear he’s not giving up on us.
It’s not just the grand gestures anymore, but the small, thoughtful ones, like leaving me my favorite coffee in the library, or texting me random jokes in the middle of the day to make me smile. (bare minimum fr)
And when I finally start to look at him again, I can see it. There’s real change in him.
And so, when he asks if I’ll go out with him on a date, I don’t say no.
But I don’t expect what happens next.
It’s a Saturday evening, and Pedri messages me earlier in the day, asking me to meet him at 6 PM sharp.
When I arrive at the spot he texted me, the park near campus, I’m greeted with something that takes my breath away.
There, in front of me, is a blanket spread out on the grass. The soft glow of fairy lights surrounds the area, strung between trees, creating a romantic little nook in the middle of the park.
On the blanket, there’s a picnic basket, candles, and even my favorite flowers, lilies, pink and white, arranged in a vase.
It’s not what I expected from him. At all.
Pedri stands beside it all, hands in his pockets, looking nervous as hell.
His eyes light up when he sees me, and for the first time in ages, I see a boy who’s trying harder than anyone ever has to make me feel special.
“Y/n,” he says, his voice shaky but hopeful.
“I know I’ve messed up. But I wanted to show you... that I’m serious about this. About us.”
I stand there for a moment, blinking at the effort he’s put into this.
The last time we were together like this, things were so different.
It feels like we’ve both come a long way.
“Are you serious?” I ask, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips.
“I’ve never seen you do anything like this before.”
“I know,” he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“But you deserve something better than what I gave you. You deserve to feel appreciated. And not just with words, but with actions. I know this isn’t enough, but... I hope it’s a start.”
I can’t help but smile, my heart beating a little faster as I walk over to him.
“I think it’s a perfect start, Pedri.”
He grins, relief flooding his features.
“I’m glad. I thought I might’ve messed it up with the flowers and all that.”
“Honestly? It’s the most effort anyone’s ever put into a date for me,”
I admit, my voice soft, but sincere.
Pedri chuckles, and his eyes soften.
“Well, then I guess I’m doing something right.”
We sit down on the blanket, and the evening goes from awkward to comfortable, and then, as the conversation flows, it becomes something even more.
We talk about everything, the past, the mistakes, the ways we’ve grown.
We laugh about stupid stuff, and he even admits to being terrible at making dinner (something I’d suspected from the start, but now it’s confirmed).
He makes a joke about how he can barely toast bread without burning it, and I can’t help but laugh.
“I’ll cook for you sometime,” he says with a playful grin. “And you can judge my terrible cooking skills.”
“Sounds like a challenge,” I tease, nudging him with my elbow. “But sure. I’ll take you up on that.”
We settle into a comfortable silence for a while, just listening to the sound of the wind rustling through the trees.
It feels... nice. Simple. And yet, it’s everything I’ve been wanting. I can feel the trust building again, piece by piece.
“Y/n,” he says quietly after a long pause, turning to face me.
“I know I messed up. But I need you to know that I would do anything to make things right. I’ll spend every day proving to you that you’re the one I want, the one I need.”
I look into his eyes, eyes full of sincerity, full of hope, and for the first time in a long while, I believe him.
“Okay,” I whisper, my heart thudding in my chest. “I’ll give you that chance.”
Pedri’s eyes widen, and a grin spreads across his face so fast it takes me by surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah,” I say with a playful smile. “But only if you promise to keep the flowers coming.”
He laughs, his face lighting up like I’ve just given him the biggest gift in the world.
“Done. I’ll keep the flowers and the dates coming. Just don’t leave me again, okay?”
I laugh softly, nudging him again. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”
“And you’re lucky I’m good at dates,” he grins, leaning in close, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper.
“Otherwise, I’d be in serious trouble.”
“Oh, you’re already in serious trouble,” I tease back, rolling my eyes.
“But I guess I’ll give you another chance. For now.”
Pedri leans back, throwing his arms around me in a mock dramatic fashion.
“I’ll make the most of it, I promise! I’ll win you over... one bad joke at a time.”
I can’t help but laugh as I rest my head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body next to mine.
It’s easy now. It’s natural.
“I’ll hold you to that, Pedri,” I say softly, closing my eyes for a moment.
And for the first time in months, everything feels right again.
The end
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49 notes · View notes
lesbianalanwake · 2 days ago
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Severance S2E3..... I'm chewing through drywall:
-- Natalie referred to the Board as "it"..... it? it??
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-- speaking of that: Natalie? are you good?? how literal is the concept of speaking for the Board? Natalie??
-- Milchick packing away the box of paintings (and it doesn't quite fit.... girl....), and Cobel driving away from Helena's invitation to speak to the Board (sleeping in her car.... where is she driving to)..... obsessed with them and everything they do, actually. enemy of my enemy please god 🙏
-- Devon and Gretchen meeting the innie version of someone they love, and seeing how innocent/lost/earnest that person is, how they echo the person they know but less closed off and worn down..... Devon's face when she said Mark's a good egg, and Gretchen's face when Dylan G said he would make her proud..... oh I'm chewing through drywall AND glass. (the stark contrast to the contempt that Helena's father shows towards Helly..... ough)
-- the unhinged conversations between Cobel and Helena..... careful flat affect and measured tone while simmering with cold rage. makes me wonder if it's a "raised by Lumon" thing, which makes me wonder about Miss Huang and her impassive mannerisms..... Miss Huang get behind me. Dylan worrying about her.... 😢
-- Dr. Asal Reghabi's first in-person appearance: beat a man to death with a bat. Dr. Asal Reghabi's second in-person appearance: unsevered Mark's brain. what WILL she do next. how long did she work for Lumon? going to make a tentative guess that it might have been for quite some time, because she's got those funky off-putting ways of saying things, but she emotes a bit more than, say, Cobel. so maybe more of a Milchick type
-- Lumon wanting to edit Ricken's book.... trying to absorb and rewrite every part of the narrative in order to control it. a dumb out of touch self-help book, but it meant something in an environment stripped of most anything else, just like Miss Casey's "wellness" sessions meant something to the goat people. scraps of some kind of meaning, and now getting twisted and taken away. I am actually sick in the head over it
-- we have GOT to get a copy of The Body Keeps The Score down there to them next
-- that has to be Helena because 1) we don't spend time with her that isn't driven by another character, and 2) Irving's instincts. and girl must have studied the security footage closely because she's got a lot of Helly's mannerisms.... but not all of them, and so much of what she does is stilted or subdued. even the register of her voice isn't quite right. studying Britt Lower's microexpressions and body language under a microscope like who ARE you
-- Reghabi talking about 5 brain waves while the macrodata files emphasize the number 4..... chewing thoughtfully on it..... the input survey also has 5 questions. is this anything
-- also pondering how Reghabi says the only way for Mark to get information in and out of the severed floor is through reintegration. locked down tight with code detectors, and an afterimage is too ephemeral, but information is encoded within the brain, and that can't be locked down so tightly despite every effort to control it.... you carry it with you.... the body keeps the score
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longlivedelusion · 1 day ago
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Stress Reliever
Summary: Your regular checkup with your doctor who also happens to be your boyfriend goes... differently than you imagined.
Warnings: Smut. Eating out. Reader is afab. Some ice play. Minor angst.
A/N: This is inspired by this post because I'm feral and Love & Deepspace has become a hardcore fixation. We are locked in baby! Enjoy Zayne girlies~ (I know I did).
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It had been a few months since Zayne and I started officially dating, and today marked the second checkup I've had with him since we got together. Sure, I'd been his patient a while now, but this new dynamic of doctor/boyfriend was still an adjustment to say the least.
I struggled with what boundaries to set in times like these, even though it seemed like Zayne was a natural. He treated me like any other patient, was professional in all senses when I was in the office, just to get a text the moment I leave the grounds saying I "looked beautiful today."
So as I walked into the office with a set of papers on my latest blood work, I paused at the door and took a deep breath. Health first, partner second.
That thought went straight out the door however when I walked into the room, Zayne's demeanor a cool chill that swept across the room like a brewing winter storm. 
To the average eye, he was the same cool and collected doctor that everyone knew and respected, but as someone who knew him well I could immediately tell: he was pissed.
"Hello, please have a seat." He said without looking up, gesturing to the chair across from him. I made my way over just as he finished whatever he was looking at on his computer and directed his full, cold gaze on me.
"Hi. Um, I have my latest blood work here." I said, sliding the paperwork across the desk. He grabbed the papers with ease, looking them over as the noise caused from the movement became the only sound in the room. My hands settled back onto my lap nervously, gripping and sliding across the fabric as my mind struggled to hold back the worried girlfriend side of me. Health first, health first, health first... 
He looked over the exams silently, the tension in the room gliding over me like tar as my body tensed across from his seemingly calm one. I watched as his hand tapped slowly on the table, his lips suddenly pursing.
"Your iron is low again. Have you been following the nutrition plan I prescribed?" He said, knowing I hadn't been eating at home as much lately due to late work nights. I'd told him time and time again that I'd been eating my regular, healthy meals not to worry him, but in reality I had maybe skipped a meal or two out of forgetfulness. Maybe three.
"I've been trying to, but with work I might have slipped here or there." I said, knowing there was no point to lying to him now. I tried to stop the guilt from flashing across my features.
"I see." His words clipped. He set the papers down carefully and leaned forward, linked hands together. His eyes bore into mine with a quiet fierceness I knew well, making me look away.
"I'm sorry, I'll be better about it. I'll-"
"There's no need to apologize. If you do not wish to follow my opinion as your primary care physician than that is your perogative." I couldn't read him, his emotions hidden behind stone as he stayed there a moment and then turned back to the computer. "Have you had any problems or discomfort in the past month?"
I looked at him, the familiar check-up questions throwing me out of my head a moment. "Uh, no. Everything's been good. Normal."
He nodded and continued typing. More silence. I felt my skin begin to itch as I struggled to hold to my earlier mantra. Was he mad at me? Did something happen today and I just made it worse? I know he worries.
"Seems we are all done here then. I just sent the signed certificate to your Captain, so you are free to go."
Wait what? "...just like that?" I asked. Normally he would avoid signing until I promised to take better care of myself or would at least scold me slightly before doing anything. Something was definitely up. 
"Yes." He said, not looking up. "I will see you in a few months."
I stood, taking that as a my cue to leave, but as I reached the door I paused. I felt the pull towards my partner, the desperate need to understand, to talk, to say fuck these boundaries and-
"Zay- Dr. Zayne." I hesitated as I turned back around. "Are you alright?"
He stilled for a fraction of a second before he continued his typing. "Why do you ask?"
"You seem off today and I was just concerned-"
"I'm quite alright." He said and didn't even look at me. He kept just typing and typing. I wasn't, couldn't take the next 9 hours waiting for him to get off work before I figured out what was going on. I'd go insane.
"Zayne," I said softly. "Please? Talk to me? I know we agreed to separate our work and personal lives but I'm really worried, this isn't like you. I know it's not just the iron thing."
He sighed, shoulders falling slightly as he closed his eyes. "It's nothing, darling. We can speak about it at home."
I move to the desk again, but this time around to face the side of my seated partner. "You won't be home for another 9 hours." My hand reached out to push his short hair behind his ear. "But if you really don't wanna talk about it, I understand."
He nuzzled into my hand, silent for a moment before he spoke, "It's the board. They've been reducing staff and resources from the Protocore Syndrome rehabilitation center in Maple Ridge due to the increase of need in other areas, but the cases in that area are unlike anything we've seen in other locations. They are pushing the staff already as is, yet they want to reduce it more."
He turned, moving my body in between his legs as his head settled on my chest. "I've been arguing with them all week about this and yet they won't listen. If they do this, a lot of people will die." He added with a sigh.
I keep stroking his hair back. "Oh, baby I'm so sorry. Maybe the Hunter's Association can help back up your claims? Maybe it'll be enough pull to get you the resources you need."
He shakes his head. "I've tried, but unless there's a public outcry or some miracle, I don't think there's much else we can do."
I gently pull his head back and he looks up at me with a slight furrow in his brow. "Don't give up. There had to be something else we're missing." I say, determination in my voice. "You're the Dr. Zayne, you'll find a way. I know it."
His eyes softened, looking at me with fondness and trepidation. "I may be good at my job, but I'm no miracle worker."
I shrug, "Maybe, maybe not, but you are stubborn. And determined. And that goes a long way."
And there, from the corner of his lips drew a small smile, "You are very good at comforting others, you know."
I smiled back, kissing his forehead gently. "I've been told once or twice." I pull back, and look at him again. "Is there anything I can do to help? Really, I wanna help you if I can." 
He paused, thinking deeply for a moment before he tilted his head to look at the door. "Perhaps there is one thing that you could do."
"What? Anything." I said with no hesitation.
He reached over to his comms channel and dialed the receptionist. "Miss Liǔ, please hold my appointments for 30 minutes and make sure nobody comes to my office in that time. I have an important call."
"Yes, Dr. Zayne."
The call ended and in that second I felt hands on my thighs as Zayne stood and lifted me onto the table. "Anything?" He repeated, face now mere centimeters from mine.
My breath hitched as I tried to form a single thought beyond fuck in that moment. "Zayne, this is your work, I mean anyone could hear us."
"Then I suppose you need to stay quiet then, don't you darling?" From his hand his Evol swirls until a cube of ice lands between his fingers, and he pulls back. "Open."
My eyes widen at the command but I do as he asks, mouth wide as he placed the cube on my tongue. The ice wasn't too cold surprisingly, but it still numbed my mouth somewhat.
"Don't stop sucking this cube, understood?" He said as he dropped to his knees. "Not until I tell you."
I nodded, pupils blown wide as I watched him make quick work of my pants. He shoved them down my legs, his mouth searing into my skin as he began his ascent up my thighs. His kisses were reverent, unrushed despite the ticking clock, the dual sensations of the cold and heat now rising in my body as I dropped my head and closed my eyes.
I felt his mouth inch it's way up, up, up closer to the growing wetness between my legs. I was still covered in that sense, and despite Zayne barely having touched me I was already brimming at the seams with want. It was always that way with him, somehow he could have me from 0 to 100 with barely a breath. 
Which, in that moment an actual breath took me from my thoughts as his mouth ghosted over my cunt. He drifted around it, yet never quite touching where I wanted. I felt everything leave my mind in that moment as a soft moan got stuck in my throat. I couldn't speak, couldn't beg, couldn't anything. So I settled for the next best thing.
I reached forward, hand grabbing onto his hair as I locked eyes with him, exuding every pleading thought I could into that stare. He simply chuckled and grabbed my hand, placing a gentle kiss on it before settling it back on the desk. "Patience, darling. I'm taking my time. After all, I need to relax."
With that he nuzzled into my clothed core, nose flickering over my clit as he let in a small inhale. "God, you smell divine." He said, the movement making me grip the desk. He licked a small stripe from the bottom up making me lift my body in reaction.
"You taste divine too."
He reached up to the edges of my panties, pulling them down and away as he greeted my now glistening core. His hands gripped my thighs as he let out a breathy "beautiful" before licking a long stripe up my folds.
Another moan got stuck in my throat as he began to suck on my sensitive bud, his tongue soothing it at random intervals before diving down and up again. The way his mouth moved over me, the care, the gentle lick to a fevered suck had my mind reeling. I started pulsing my hips upward, desperate to get more pressure where I needed, but Zayne just kept going at his own designated pace.
His hands tightened on my thighs as he pushed them down, a silent order as his mouth continued his ministrations, my juices slowly dripping down his chin and onto his desk.
My hands reached back for support as I instead sucked on the cube on my tongue for some sort of extra stimulation. One of my hands reached for my chest, pinching and kneading as my muffled keens grew more desperate.
Zayne was not a selfish lover by any means, but in this moment he couldn't care less about anything but his face between my thighs.
With the impending countdown of the clock, I felt a rush of adrenaline shoot through my system as desperation kicked in. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but the words struggled to come out with the ice on my tongue. "Pwease" was all I managed, the ice balancing on my tongue awkwardly as I spoke.
His eyes shot up to me, his mouth slowing and pushing back to an agonizing pace. It made me whine in frustration as Zayne's hand gave a warning squeeze. A reminder of who this was for and who was in charge here. But, to also trust him.
I sighed and nodded, legs widening as I struggled to keep myself in check. What mattered was he was getting what he needed to relax, and if that was by eating me out, well. Who was I to complain?
At that thought, the pressure began again and a new sensation filled my body as a finger began to press in. My body tensed at the intrusion, a muffled moan escaping Zayne's mouth from the tightness as he started to suck just a bit harder. His finger pushed in and out at a casual pace, curling and twisting as he explored its tight walls.
My body began writhing against the desk, pushing against him as he pumped his fingers. I reached forward, one hand still on the desk while the other grabbed his hair for dear life. He was a man enjoying every single bite of his meal, slowly, intentionally, yet desperate for more. 
Soon, a second finger pressed in, stretching me to heaven.
Whimpers and whines stayed caught in my throat as he began curving his fingers into a spot he knew well, one he knew that could have me screaming in any other circumstances. Despite the ice cube in my mouth, if anyone listened close enough to the door of infamous Dr. Zayne they would hear the desperate whines of his partner and the sounds of his fingers ravaging my cunt.
Closer and closer it built, the need to cum. Just that, a need. Zayne could tell too, his movements growing faster as he pumped into me hard and fast, tongue swirling and sucking with just the right pressure. My nerve endings felt alive, the cool ice barely grounding me in the present while his mouth kept me afloat in the sky. I could feel it growing closer and closer until-
"Mmm!" I sucked hard on the ice while I lurched forward, body shaking as my orgasm hit me with barely a warning. His hands pressed into me lazily through the aftershocks before he eventually he let them go and his mouth replaced them. He licked and sucked any remainder of cum before sucking his fingers clean as well. He let out a deep sigh.
"Incredible," he mumbled, a small smile on his lips as he rubbed gentle circles on my thighs. He stood then, leaning over me as he gently kissed my lips. The ice cube melted between our tongues as his Evol dissolved the magic and I sighed in relief.
"Thank you, darling." He said as he pulled back, forehead against mine. "I needed that."
I smiled, head reaching to stroke his cheek. "I'm glad to help." I said, the sincerity coating my words before I looked down. "What about you though? I can-"
He stopped my hand before it could touch him, moving it up to his lips instead. "I got everything I needed." He said as he kissed my palm, and then every finger. "I'm quite happy like this."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
He looked up then and smiled, the tension from earlier completely melted away. "Absolutely."
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iamquiantrelle · 2 hours ago
Text
SO INTO YOU ────── iamquaintrelle
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
# pairings: aurelien tchouameni x black reader (✨💕)
# tags: @sucredreamer @snowseasonmademe @jessnotwiththemess @rougereds @judectrl @mufasathatniggatho @irishmanwhore @lettersofgold @ayeshami @greyishbach @haartemis @goldenngt @solidbriii @sailurmewn @bbgkoo @mauvecherie-writes @leighjadeclimbedmtkilimanjaro
# summary: you’re a multiple grammy winning artist with a record breaking single based on an embarrassing crush on a footballer & when that single demands visuals who else do you ask to be your video vixen besides said footballer crush? but is he also willing to blow your back out too? ♡ masterlist
You were never drinking tequila again. Ever.
The tequila bottle sat empty on your coffee table like evidence from a crime scene, mocking you with memories of last night's social media bravery. Your Grammy awards caught the morning light, their gold surfaces throwing judgmental sparkles across your living room walls. You'd really done it this time - slid into Aurélien Tchouaméni's DMs like your verified check mark gave you the right to disturb his peace at 2 AM.
Your manager Carmen sat in the armchair across from you, tablet in hand as she went through tomorrow's flight details to Madrid. But your attention kept drifting to your phone, to that cursed Instagram conversation where you'd actually typed out "hey, random question but would you maybe want to be in my music video? no pressure lol" - asking him to star in your video for "So Into You," a song that lived in that dangerous space between confession and plausible deniability.
“Earth to lovergirl,” Carmen's professional tone carried just a hint of amusement. “You good? Or still having flashbacks to drunk-texting one of football's finest?”
His response still sat there in your DMs, casual as anything: “The song that's breaking records? I'd be down. Though I have to ask - any particular reason you thought of me? 😉”
You'd screamed into three different pillows after reading that.
“I still can't believe he said yes,” you mumbled, sinking deeper into the couch as Carmen scrolled through your embarrassing Instagram activity history with restrained glee. The evidence was damning: every single post liked within seconds, story reactions that probably made you look unhinged, the way you'd set notifications for his account months ago after that first video blessed your FYP.
It had been innocent enough at first - a clip of him in a post-match interview, fresh taper fade catching the stadium lights. Something about the way he carried himself, that quiet confidence wrapped in genuine humility, had you hitting that follow button before the video even finished. The way he'd laugh with his whole chest in interviews, how he could switch from intense focus on the field to the sweetest smile off it - you were gone before you even realized you were falling.
Your best friend had watched your descent with barely contained amusement. “Not you making a whole Tumblr shrine," she'd cackled one wine night, scrolling through @tchouamenithoughts. “Day 43 of manifesting Aurélien Tchouaméni to ruin my life’? Girl...”
“Listen,” you groaned now, watching Carmen pull up the same account on her phone, “we all cope differently.”
“Cope? You wrote a whole chart-topping song about how he 'controls the game like he could control your heart.' That's not coping, that's down catastrophic,” she said, maintaining her composure even as her eyes danced with mirth.
She wasn't wrong. You'd lost hours to The Bridge episodes, team interviews, even compilation videos of his best plays. You'd lost count of how many times you'd woken up hot and bothered from dreams featuring that TCHM chain of his dangling above you, his knowing smile as he– nope. Not going there. Not when you were about to meet him in person.
Your phone lit up with a text from an unknown Spanish number:
“Looking forward to finally meeting tomorrow. Been keeping those 2AM DMs for motivation during training 😊 - AT”
“Oh my god,” you breathed, showing Carmen the screen. “He saved the messages.”
“Of course he did,” she said, checking something on her tablet. “You really think he didn't notice how you watch every single one of his Instagram lives? Even the 3 AM ones after matches where he's just vibing to Afrobeats in his gym? Those thirst traps?”
The way he moved to those beats had no business living rent-free in your head like it did. Neither did the way his eyes got soft when he talked about his family in interviews, or how that dangerous half-smirk would appear after a particularly clean tackle. You'd documented it all on your Tumblr, built whole theories around his personality based on how he interacted with teammates, analyzed every public appearance like it was your job.
“What if he found it?" The thought hit you suddenly. “The Tumblr account?”
Carmen's composed expression cracked slightly with a knowing smile. “Girl, if he has, he still said yes to the video. What does that tell you?”
You didn't want to think about what that might mean. Couldn't let yourself hope that maybe he'd noticed you too, that perhaps those quick likes on your Instagram stories weren't just courtesy, that the way he'd immediately responded to your drunk DM meant something.
Tomorrow you'd be in Madrid. Tomorrow you'd see if that confidence you'd analyzed in countless videos translated in person, if his smile was really as dangerous as it seemed through a screen.
“Make sure you pack some lingerie,” Carmen said as she gathered her things, a slight smirk playing at her lips. “Just in case those Tumblr manifestations worked.”
You buried your face in a throw pillow, but your heart was already racing at the possibility.
**************************************************
The Madrid morning sun painted the makeup room in ethereal hues, casting everything in a dreamlike glow that did nothing to settle your nerves. You sat still as the artist perfected your look - soft glam that highlighted your warm brown skin, each baby hair laid with precision, curls falling in a carefully crafted cascade. The "effortlessly gorgeous" aesthetic you'd aimed for had, ironically, required a 5 AM start.
“He's here,” your assistant's voice cut through your reverie, and your heart performed a gymnastics routine worthy of Olympic qualification.
Here's the thing about Aurélien Tchouaméni - all the 4K footage in the world, every professional photograph, every high-definition broadcast couldn't capture what he was in person. The way he commanded space wasn't something a camera could translate.
He had to duck slightly entering the room (had he always been that tall?), the morning light catching him like it knew exactly what it was doing. The fitted white tee and designer jeans he wore were deceptively simple, the kind of casual that required serious thought. That signature "TCHM" pendant caught the light as he moved, the diamond Cuban link chain you'd written dissertations about on Tumblr proving worthy of every analysis. You'd watched enough matches to know his height, studied enough footage to know his build, but something about him actually being there, all 6'2" of him absolutely dominating the space, had your carefully constructed composure threatening to crumble.
“So," he said, that dangerous half-smile playing at his lips as he approached, “you're the one who slid in my DMs at 2 AM?”
The ground could swallow you whole any minute now. His French accent in person was a weapon that should be classified as illegal. “Listen, about that–“
“Nah, don't apologize," he laughed, the sound rich enough to drown in. "It was cute. Especially that part about my ball control being 'unfairly hot.'”
"Please tell me you're joking," you groaned, but you couldn't help smiling. His presence was magnetic - that quiet confidence you'd analyzed through screens somehow even more potent in the flesh.
"Three fire emojis and everything," he grinned, and you noticed his taper fade was fresh, clearly done for the shoot. The chain caught the light again as he leaned slightly closer, shortening the considerable distance between you. "But for what it's worth? Your voice is unfairly hot too.”
Your cognitive functions ceased entirely. The proximity brought his cologne into focus - something expensive and intoxicating that absolutely wasn't helping your ability to form coherent thoughts. The height difference hit differently in person, requiring you to tilt your head back to meet his gaze.
“Five minutes to places!” the director's call pierced through your haze, saving you from having to remember basic language skills.
The shoot itself was a study in sweet torture. For the first time in your career, you found yourself flubbing takes - missing cues, getting lost in moments. You, who prided yourself on one-take perfection, needed multiple runs at the simplest scenes. But how could you focus when he kept looking at you like that? The way his eyes would drift slowly down your body between setups, how his hands would rub together - a tell you'd seen in dozens of post-match interviews when something particularly caught his interest. But then again, Aurélien was known for giving everything his complete attention. You'd watched enough footage to know that.
He played his role perfectly - too perfectly, really. Each take had him hitting his marks with the same precision he showed on the field, but there was something else there. Something in the way his hand would linger just a moment too long when helping you up, how his eyes would catch yours in the monitor playback.
“Last setup!” the director announced, and you silently thanked whatever higher power was listening. Your heart could only take so much.
“So," Aurélien said during the lighting adjustment, his voice dropping to a register that did dangerous things to your pussy. “Since you're such a football fan now... maybe you'd want to come to my match this weekend? VIP seats?”
Your heart stuttered. “Yeah? What if someone recognizes me?”
"Let them," he smiled, and that chain glinted again as he shifted closer. "Maybe I want people to know, especially about that DM.”
You couldn't help laughing despite your burning cheeks. "You're never letting that go, are you?”
"Never," he agreed, then added more softly: "But I'm glad you sent it. Been trying to figure out how to slide in your DMs too, especially after seeing all those likes on my gym posts.”
You looked up at him (way up - seriously, the height difference was doing things to you), catching that dangerous glint in his eye. “Oh….”
"Front row seats," he continued, voice dropping lower. "Right behind the bench. That way I'll know exactly where to look after I score.”
Your heart did another full gymnastic routine. “Pretty confident about that goal, huh?”
"I'm confident about a lot of things," he smiled, and that chain caught the light once more as he leaned down slightly. “Like how good those likes looked on my notifications.”
You were going to pass away on the spot. But then his hand found yours, and that smile softened into something more private, more real. “Sure I’ll go.”
Maybe drunk you had known exactly what she was doing after all.
******************************************
Thank god for these VIP seats because the view? Immaculate.
Grandpa Ancelotti finally put Aurélien in his rightful position and oh my god, watching him command the midfield in person hit so different. TV did not prepare you for this. At all.
The way his orange kit stretched across those shoulders when he'd gesture to teammates? Criminal. And those calves? You'd seen them in videos but in person they were actually unreal. The entire package was just unfair - whoever said football kits weren't flattering had never seen Aurélien Tchouaméni in one. His body was sculptural, all lean muscle and perfect proportions, like god really sat down and took extra time crafting him specifically to ruin your life.
You watched him talk tactics with Jude, all authority and focused energy, and the way he carried himself on the field had you feeling some type of way. His whole demeanor shifted during matches - all business and pure power. The intensity in his eyes when he'd call out positions? Yeah, you were definitely going to need a glass of water.
When he made that assist - a perfect pass that had the crowd screaming - you jumped up cheering before remembering you were supposed to be playing it cool. But how could you when he glanced your way during the celebration with that smile?
Every time he'd body someone off the ball, the way his muscles flexed with the effort... Lord have mercy. You'd really thought writing a song about him was peak down bad but watching him work in person? Your brain was absolutely short-circuiting.
During a water break, he caught your eye and adjusted his shirt - a move you'd seen in countless matches but this time it felt deliberate, just for you. The stadium lights hit his dark skin just right, making him look like he was literally glowing. And that jawline? Sharp enough to cut glass.
The final whistle had you watching his post-match routine like you hadn't already memorized it from videos - the handshakes, the quick interviews, the way he'd run his hand over his fresh fade when downplaying how good he was. But then he looked up at your spot again with that private little smile and yeah... you were absolutely screwed.
Because watching Aurélien Tchouaméni absolutely own the soccer pitch? That wasn't just attraction anymore. That was straight up ruination.
You made it to the designated area and only had to wait around 30 minutes before Aurélien showed up, fresh from the shower, dressed casually but still somehow managing to look like a walking problem. A clean black tee stretched across his chest, showing off the definition of his arms, paired with dark jeans that sat just right on his waist. And the way his chain rested against his collarbone? Yeah, this was dangerous.
“You waited long?” he asked, a lazy smile on his lips as he approached, exuding the kind of confidence that came naturally to him.
“Not really,” you said, hoping your voice sounded steadier than you felt.
His eyes dragged over you in a way that felt intentional, like he was cataloging every detail. “Good. Would’ve hated to keep you waiting.”
The way he said it sent a shiver down your spine, but before you could overthink it, he tilted his head. “You hungry?”
You blinked. “Yeah.”
“Come on, let’s get something to eat,” he said, nodding toward the exit.
You followed him out, keeping pace as he led you to his car — his matte black Lamborghini Urus. Of course. He opened the passenger door for you, stepping back just enough to give you space but still managing to be close, like his presence was a gravitational pull.
“You good?” he asked, one brow lifting as you hesitated before getting in.
You nodded quickly, sliding into the plush seat, inhaling the faint scent of leather and his cologne —clean, expensive, and entirely him. He shut the door gently before walking around to the driver’s side, settling in smoothly before starting the engine. The deep purr of the car filled the quiet, and when he rested one hand on the wheel, the other on the gear shift, your eyes traced the veins in his forearm, the way his fingers flexed slightly.
Yeah, this was setting you off.
Aurélien drove with an effortless confidence, maneuvering through Madrid’s streets like he’d done it a million times — which, of course, he had. As he looped around the Bernabéu, he nodded toward the stadium. “You should come back for a tour.”
Your head turned sharply toward him. “What?”
He glanced at you, amused by your surprise. “You liked watching me play, right?”
Like was an understatement. Watching him on the pitch, commanding the game with precision and strength, was one thing. But now, seeing him here, driving through the city with that same quiet control, his jaw flexing as he focused on the road, his fingers tapping against the wheel — it was too much.
You were obsessed. Fully.
Your crush was sitting mere inches away, effortlessly charming, looking stupid good behind the wheel, and here you were, acting all timid. No. You needed to snap out of it. Because if you didn’t make a move now, when would you?
“You like tacos?” His voice cut through your thoughts as he stopped at a red light, glancing at you with a knowing smirk.
Of course, you liked tacos. But right now? Food was the last thing on your mind.
Because tomorrow night, you’d be on a flight back to LA. Who knew when you’d see him again? Your lives were on different continents. And after everything —after DMing him, after him actually showing up for your video — didn’t you deserve this one night?
Your heart pounded as you turned toward him fully, a slow smile curving your lips. “Tacos can wait.”
Aurélien’s lips curved into a smirk, the kind that sent heat rushing through you. He tilted his head slightly, feigning innocence. “Oh? And what are you in the mood for?”
The way his voice dipped on the last word made your breath hitch. He knew exactly what you meant. And judging by the way his fingers flexed against the steering wheel, he liked where this was going.
“Maybe we can go back to your place?” you suggested, trying to sound casual despite the thrum of anticipation running through you.
He hummed, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip like he was weighing his options. “For something to eat…or?”
“Definitely or,” you giggled, the boldness surprising even yourself.
Aurélien let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head slightly as he turned onto a quieter road. “Alright. So, UberEats later. Sounds good.”
Your stomach flipped at the ease in his tone, like this was the most natural thing in the world. Then his eyes flicked to you, warm and dark with something unreadable, and he bit his lip. “You’re so beautiful.”
The compliment was soft, unprompted, and it caught you off guard. Your chest tightened, heat creeping up your neck. “Thank you.”
He didn’t rush the drive, taking his time maneuvering through the streets, letting conversation flow easily between you. He asked about your time in Madrid, what you’d done so far, if you liked the city. And the whole time, his voice had that smooth, rich quality that made every word feel like it was meant just for you.
When he finally pulled up to his house — a sleek, modern place with clean lines and warm lighting —you barely had time to take it in before a low bark caught your attention.
Ocho.
The Belgian Malinois trotted toward the door as soon as you stepped inside, his dark eyes locked onto you with curiosity. Aurélien placed a reassuring hand on your lower back, his touch warm and grounding. “Let him sniff you first,” he murmured.
You extended your hand slightly, letting Ocho inspect you. The dog’s ears twitched before he gave a small huff, seemingly satisfied.
Aurélien grinned. “Good boy.” Then, switching to French, he said, “Va dans ta chambre.” (Go to your room.)
Ocho obeyed immediately, padding off toward what you assumed was his designated space.
“He’s well-trained,” you noted, impressed.
Aurélien shrugged, closing the door behind him. “Had to be. He’s my best boy.” Then he turned to you, his gaze softer now. “You want anything to drink?”
The fact that he even asked — so polite, so sweet —made your heart squeeze a little.
You shook your head. “I’m good.”
Still, he grabbed a bottle of Gatorade and a water anyway, tucking them under his arm before reaching for you. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you in just enough to make your breath hitch. “Come on.”
As he guided you upstairs, his lips found the side of your neck, pressing slow, lingering kisses against your skin as you walked. His goatee tickled, the warmth of his mouth sending shivers down your spine.
By the time you made it to his bedroom, you were already gripping his arm, steadying yourself against the dizzying effect of his touch.
Aurélien smirked as he nudged the door shut behind you. “Still thinking about tacos?”
Not even a little bit. “No.”
He placed the Gatorade and water bottle on the bedside table then Aurélien’s hands were warm against your waist, fingers pressing into your skin as he pulled you in. His lips found yours, soft at first, tasting, teasing, savoring. The kiss started slow, a gentle exploration, his lips moving against yours in a way that had your heart thudding in your chest.
But then his hands slid lower, gripping the curve of your hips, and something shifted. The kiss deepened, turning hotter, messier — needy. His tongue met yours, stroking, claiming, pulling soft moans from your lips that he swallowed greedily.
The room was quiet except for the sounds of your mouths working against each other, the wet slide of tongues, the occasional breathless sighs escaping between kisses. His fingers trailed up your back, making you arch into him, pressing your body flush against his. The heat between you was dizzying, his scent — fresh, clean, and something uniquely him —wrapping around you like a drug.
Your hands roamed, exploring the hard planes of his back, the ridges of muscle beneath his skin. He groaned into your mouth when your nails scratched lightly at his nape, the sound vibrating through you and making your thighs clench.
His hands moved with purpose now, sliding under the hem of your top, pushing it up, breaking the kiss only long enough to strip it from you. Then he went for your bottoms, peeling them away, leaving you in just your underwear. His dark eyes roved over you, taking you in, heat flickering in his gaze.
“Fuck,” he muttered, almost to himself, before his hands were back on you, caressing, exploring, like he needed to feel every inch of your skin.
You didn’t hesitate, your fingers slipping under the hem of his shirt, tugging it upward. He let you pull it over his head, and your breath hitched when you got a full view of him — his abs looked even better in person, all taut muscle and definition, a masterpiece carved in 4D.
Your fingers traced along the ridges, relishing the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch.
Aurélien groaned, low and deep, his head tipping back slightly. “You’re really testing my patience, bébé.”
You smiled, dragging your fingertips lower, teasing along the waistband of his jeans. Your fingers worked at the button, then the zipper, easing the denim down his hips. He helped, pushing them the rest of the way until they pooled at his feet, leaving him in just his Aime boxers.
Your breath caught.
He was hard.
The thick outline of his length strained against the fabric, the sight making heat pool low in your belly.
Your hands ghosted over his erection, barely grazing him, but it was enough to make him suck in a sharp breath.
“Shit,” he hissed, his hips jerking slightly at the contact.
You muttered an apology, but he just shook his head, eyes dark with heat. “It’s okay, bébé.”
Then his lips were on yours again, stealing the breath from your lungs, guiding you toward the bed. You barely registered the feel of the mattress beneath you before he was pressing you down, his body hovering over yours, his heat surrounding you.
And from the way he looked at you — like he was about to ruin you — you knew you were in for it.
His hands skimmed down your body to unclasp your bra then his fingers hooked into the waistband of your underwear, dragging them down your legs with agonizing slowness. His gaze roved over you, hungry and heated, before he lowered himself between your thighs.
His mouth found your skin, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses from your navel downward, making you shiver in anticipation.
And then — oh.
Aurélien’s lips, his tongue, the warmth of his breath against your pussy had you gasping, your fingers tangling in his curls as he worked you over with a skill that had your thighs trembling.
He was deliberate but messy, completely focused on you, his lips wrapping around your clit while his tongue moved in slow, devastating circles. When he slipped two fingers inside, curling them just right, a strangled moan escaped your lips.
“Tu prends si bien, bébé,” he murmured against you, the vibration of his voice making you whimper. His fingers stroked inside you, matching the rhythm of his tongue, and your hips bucked instinctively. He just chuckled, holding you in place as he kept going, kept building you higher, until—
And then he pulled away.
A whimper of protest left your lips before you could stop it, and he smirked at your pout, his thumb swiping at the corner of his mouth like he was savoring the taste of you.
“Be right back,” he said, pressing a final kiss to your inner thigh before moving toward his dresser.
You pushed up on your elbows, watching as he pulled out a condom, then hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, pushing them down. Your breath hitched at the sight of him — thick, long, and impossibly hard.
Aurélien caught you staring and smirked. “Like what you see?”
You swallowed, your cheeks heating. “Obviously.”
That made him chuckle as he rolled the condom on, then returned to the bed, his hands guiding your legs further apart as he settled between them. One arm reached behind you, grabbing a pillow and tucking it under your lower back, another small but thoughtful gesture that made your chest tighten in a way that had nothing to do with arousal.
His lips found your neck as he nudged himself against your entrance, teasing you with shallow strokes, making your body crave him even more.
And as he finally, finally pushed inside, a deep moan left your lips, because — oh. Oh.
This was happening. Your crush, your fantasy, your dream — was now your reality.
His thrusts were slow at first, letting you feel every inch of him stretching you, filling you, but it didn’t take long before the teasing gave way to something deeper, more urgent. He kissed you through it, all tongue and heat, swallowing your moans as his hips found a steady rhythm.
“You feel so fucking good,” he murmured against your lips, his voice thick with pleasure. “So wet for me.”
The chain around his neck swung forward with every movement, the cool metal brushing against your skin, dangling just above your face, and god, he looked beautiful like this — face twisted in pleasure, jaw clenched, brows furrowed, dark eyes locked on yours like he never wanted to look away.
“Tu es si belle,” he groaned, dropping his head to your neck, dragging open-mouthed kisses along your throat before moving lower. His tongue flicked over your nipple before he took it into his mouth, sucking just enough to send a sharp jolt of pleasure through you. Your back arched off the bed, hands tangling in his curls as you whimpered his name.
Aurélien pulled back slightly, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin before he released you with a wet pop. His eyes met yours, dark and full of intent.
“Turn over for me,” he said, voice like gravel, thick with desire.
You swallowed, your body already obeying before your mind could catch up. He sat back, watching you get on all fours, his large hands smoothing over the curve of your ass, squeezing each cheek once before dragging up your spine. The way he looked at you, eyes burning with hunger, sent heat pooling low in your stomach.
“You’re perfect,” he muttered, almost to himself. Then he ran a hand through his curls, exhaling sharply before gripping your hips and lining himself up again.
And when he pushed back inside, deeper than before, a broken moan fell from your lips.
“That’s it, bébé,” he murmured, his fingers digging into your skin as he started to move, slow at first, teasing. “Taking me so well.”
His pace quickened, the sound of skin on skin filling the air, along with the low, guttural groans spilling from his lips. His chain swung again, the rhythmic clink of metal adding to the mix of sensations that had you spiraling.
“Feel me?” he rasped, dragging a hand up your spine to fist your hair gently, pulling just enough to make you arch. “So deep inside you. Fuck.”
You whimpered, barely able to form words, barely able to breathe with how good he felt, how he filled every inch of you like he was made for this.
“Talk to me,” he urged, voice raw. “Let me hear you.”
“I’m—” Your words broke off into a moan as he angled his hips just right, hitting that spot that made stars burst behind your eyes.
“Yeah?” he taunted, a smirk in his voice. “Right there, huh?”
You could only nod frantically, your body trembling as he picked up the pace, chasing both of your releases. His angled his hips once more and that made you let out something primal.
“Damn, yes fuck me back,” he crooned just before you felt his lips touch the middle of spine. You shivered at the sensation, moaning out his name like a prayer.
“Aurélien….”
He rocked into you harder, faster and it made your toes curl. He was relentless and you loved every second of it. The sounds you both were making was the perfect lullaby of lust and pleasure.
“Mm…shit….Aurélien.” You couldn’t stop from moaning his name and judging by the way his hands gripped your hips each time, you could tell that he liked it.
Soon, you both were pushed over that edge, moaning as your orgasm overwhelmed your entire body. After awhile, you felt him slip out of you and then the bed shifted as he moved to throw out the condom.
Your body still hummed with the aftershocks of pleasure, limbs heavy, breath slowly evening out. You were probably a mess — hair wild, lips swollen, body still flushed with heat — but Aurélien? He looked unfairly good.
He was leaning back against the headboard, his chest still rising and falling steadily, dark skin glowing under the dim light. The chain that had been dangling in your face minutes ago now rested against his collarbones, catching the light with each small movement. He reached over to grab his Gatorade, unscrewing the cap and taking a long sip before setting it on the bedside table.
Then, he turned to you, dark eyes scanning your face, something soft in his expression. “You want some?”
You shook your head, not because you weren’t thirsty, but because you couldn’t stop staring at him.
His lips quirked slightly. “You must really like me.”
The way he said it wasn’t cocky or teasing — it was knowing, like he’d been piecing it together all night. And maybe he was right, because you couldn’t help the dopey-ass smile that spread across your face.
Aurélien chuckled, shaking his head before exhaling through his nose. “I like you too. Wish you didn’t beat me to sliding in the DMs first, though.”
You lifted a brow. “You really mad about that?”
He made a little face, scrunching his nose slightly, which was unfairly adorable for someone who had just rearranged your insides. “Not that much,” he admitted. “But I would’ve liked the chase.”
You scoffed, rolling onto your side to face him. “The chase? What are you, a lion?”
That made him smile, a real one, warm and lazy, like he was letting his guard down completely. “When a guy likes a girl, he usually asks her out first,” he said simply. “You were in my likes, I was in yours… I was about to slide through, but yeah, you beat me to it.”
Your stomach did a little flip.
He reached out then, running a hand down your arm before linking his fingers loosely with yours. “But I’m gonna do the rest, okay?”
Your breath caught, your heart stumbling in your chest. This was Aurélien Tchouaméni, your crush, your dream, and now, here he was — holding your hand, looking at you like this wasn’t just some one-night thing.
“Okay,” you whispered, squeezing his fingers lightly.
His smile widened, and then he tugged you closer, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead before settling beside you, keeping your hand in his like he wasn’t planning to let go anytime soon.
You couldn’t help but stare at him — at the strong lines of his face, the sharp jaw softened by the faintest hint of stubble, the fullness of his lips, the way his lashes rested against his cheeks when he blinked. He was so beautiful.
“What?” he murmured, catching you staring.
You shrugged, biting your lip. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
How crazy it was that you were here. That this wasn’t a dream. That your crush — the man who dominated the midfield with an effortless cool, the one you’d written lyrics about, the one you’d been too shy to DM for the longest time — was lying next to you, holding your hand like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“About how wild this is,” you admitted.
Aurélien chuckled, his dimples flashing as he turned onto his side, propping his head up with his free hand. “Yeah?”
You nodded. “I mean, this time yesterday, I was just hoping you’d even notice me at the game. Now I’m in your bed.”
That smirk made a reappearance, but his voice was soft when he said, “I noticed you way before the game, bébé.”
Your stomach flipped. “Yeah?”
“Of course,” he said easily. “You think I wasn’t watching whenever you posted on Instagram? When you DM’d me?”
Your face warmed. “You didn’t answer right away.”
He grinned, teasing. “Had to make you sweat a little.”
You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Wow, so you really are a lion.”
“Gotta keep things interesting,” he mused. Then, more seriously, “But I was always gonna answer.”
Something about the way he said it made your heart squeeze. Like he wasn’t just saying it to make you feel good. Like, in some way, he’d been waiting for this too.
You swallowed. “And now that I’m here?”
Aurélien’s eyes darkened slightly, but there was something tender in his gaze as he squeezed your fingers. “Now,” he murmured, shifting closer, “I’m making sure you come back.”
Your breath caught, and before you could think of a response, he kissed you.
It was slow this time, unhurried, like he wanted to take his time tasting you. His lips moved against yours with an intoxicating rhythm, deepening the kiss little by little until you were completely lost in it. His hand came up to cup your jaw, thumb stroking over your cheek as he kissed you like he had all the time in the world.
And maybe he did. Maybe this wasn’t just for tonight.
Maybe, just maybe, this was only the beginning.
Aurélien pulled back just enough to search your face, his lips still brushing against yours, his breath warm against your skin. His fingers traced slow, lazy patterns along your arm as he studied you with that knowing smirk that made your stomach flip.
“That song,” he murmured. “It’s about me, isn’t it?”
Your heart stuttered.
For a second, you thought about playing coy, maybe teasing him a little, but what was the point? He already knew. You could see it in the glint of amusement in his eyes, the confidence in his voice.
You sighed, defeated but grinning. “Yeah,” you admitted softly. “It’s about you.”
Aurélien chuckled, shaking his head like he’d known it all along. “I knew it,” he said, his voice rich with satisfaction. “You should write another one.”
You huffed out a laugh. “Another song?”
“Mm-hmm.” His fingers brushed down your back, tracing the curve of your spine. “One about tonight.”
Your breath hitched at the implication, at the way his voice had dipped lower, rougher.
You bit your lip. “Might have to.”
Aurélien grinned. “Good,” he murmured, kissing you again. “Make it a love song.”
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universe-friday · 2 days ago
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EXCERPT #68:
Hello. I hope somebody is listening.
[...]
If you remember on my last call, old sport, Solus invited me to their place to discuss the current ongoings of the City.
There was no question about whether or not I was going. Solus and I worked out those sinkholes together. We could work out this mystery together too.
The manner in which they invited me, however - that being via a letter telling me to meet them at theirs at 3 in the morning - certainly was worrying me.
Sure, all other times I had been to Solus’ place it was night but, that could not have been later than midnight.
3 A.M. is a little different. It has a reputation! Everyone in the City knows that 3 in the morning is the scariest hour of the day. It’s when the screams are the loudest, after all. All the horrors co-exist in the City exclusively at that hour. 
But, of course, there I was. Leaving the safety of the rooftops not long before 3 A.M. I took the quietest route to Solus’ that I could think of - finally, Nightcrawler’s patrol knowledge comes in handy - and got there without any casualties. Well- I’m talking about me, of course. I did have to fight a couple of cyborgs and ghouls on the way there… One of those blasted cyborgs managed to nick me in the face before I finished it off. My right eye is currently styling a fashionable shade of purple now!
But whatever. They were dealt with, no?
Not well enough, apparently…! As I entered Solus’ place, they were standing facing the back wall, still and stoic. I saw that the room, just as it was before, was covered in papers - but I couldn’t recognise a single piece of paper from last time.
There wasn’t a single thing about the sinkholes. The walls, now, were covered in scrawled question marks across many, messy sheets of paper that were stapled to the walls. A whole wall was dedicated to just tests - breathing tests, listening tests, taste tests.
They had no clue what was going on - just as I did.
Before I even opened my mouth, Solus, who still had their back to me, simply asked me, “What happened to you?”
I managed to stutter a, “What?” before Solus turned around and pointed directly at my right eye.
I had no clue how they knew about my black eye - after all, this room is simply only four walls. They couldn’t see my reflection at all.
Having to disregard my cluelessness, I confronted Solus for sending me outside in the City at 3 A.M.
They told me they were making sure I was the, “right person for the job.” Like what do you mean by that?! We have already worked together. And what does that even mean…? That they have multiple partners…? Contacts…? I suppose I did too once. I doubt Solus would be very willing to share their contacts with me.
But I digress.
Solus and I begin to talk about the City. And the Change.
I suggest that Solus seems to not know anything at all. Just like me.
It is only then that Solus turns around to me, and without saying anything, they take a key and unlock one of their desk drawers.
They reach down and emerge with a pile of papers, the stack, while sitting on their arms, easily covers their whole face. I don’t hesitate to jump and take the top paper off of the stack.
The paper states, “A, B, C, D, and E - Locations of All Sinkholes.”
[...]
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candyswirls · 1 day ago
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Can we get Neoth panicking about Lilith's existence and thinking her a monster before realizing she's just like any other ten year old when she starts purring in his lap?
Well, and animalistic as well as cannibalistic due to the blood drinking, but she's fine, she just has the same markings as some African grass finch chicks have-
He rested his head on his fist, watching his grandchild. What did he do to merit this within her?
She had happily given him a wide, opened mouth smile. Those spots within her mouth and cheeks... inhuman. He felt guilt as she saw his expression and quickly pulled back.
What did this mean, though?
His mind ran through all the various gene-splicing he'd done when creating his sons. Was it his decision? What about Amar and Erda? No, he closely monitored the project.
This had to be his fault. Sanguinius had been worried. She wasn't growing and was turning a sickly pale shade. Weaker than usual. Duller.
She seemed interested enough in her hobbies, and he gladly indulged in it. He offered her a skull to carve into. He'd have been worried if this interest had Dorn not told him how they bonded over the shared aspect of each other's cultures.
Still, he questioned if this was the surface of something for more morbid.
She sat at the base of the throne steps.
"I usually use the tibia or humerus," she stated as she inspected the designs around the eye sockets.
"Not the femur?" He questioned, trying to keep the conversation going. He wouldn't ignore or dismiss her.
"No," she said. "It's too bulky for the types of designs and artistic vision I have. The really hard part is the small bones, though, like fingers. Lots of little details, and I am bigger than baselines. You have to be careful not to break them. It's considered bad luck and disrespectful to the dead."
He nodded slowly even though she couldn't see.
She continued, "Some say that I could just use astartes skeletons, but they don't offer their own for such purposes, and the ceramic infused bones are hard to carve into."
He raised a brow, "The bones are donated. An interesting aspect."
She looked up at him, "It's seen as a great honor to become a work of art and its also an honor to do it for someone. If you ever wanted I could carve your bones."
He stared a moment, and she laughed, "As if you'd ever die! No, but I think it's important to have that promise there."
He had seen the markings again but forced a smile through, "I am flattered at your offer. No doubt you would do well with my bones."
He was the master of mankind but right now, he had another important duty. Being a grandfather.
She stood and skipped up the steps. She kneeled at the throne, resting her elbows on his lap.
"Since it won't happen, I can show you what I'd do," she stated excitedly.
She pointed out each carving on the skull and what it meant. What she would do for him. How she would do things differently than this skull and others she'd carved into.
"I could use xenos or animal bones too and make you something," she offered. "I just need to find some really good ones."
Her glee was obvious.
He stroked her head, "Your father is very proud, I'm sure. I am as well. You take great care in your work. A worthy endeavor."
A smile crossed her face and she rested a head on his lap.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
He got the distinct impression that she needed to hear that. He continued stroking her head and hair and noticed a low and soothing rumble coming from Lilith. Purring. Like so many of his sons could do.
This put himself at ease as well. She'd be alright. She was very much a child. Only caring for her interests and wanting to have validation. She bore no ill will, and he'd have time to figure out something if anything did happen.
He just hoped there wasnt any romantic traditions with this. Throne forbid the day she developed a crush.
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dieterbravo · 2 years ago
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Maybe I'm just not built for this, right? Maybe that's okay. Maybe that just is.
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hellcatchvalley · 5 months ago
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the way that if any bh member died now it wouldnt even be a "oh no im gonna miss them :(" feeling but more so a "man they didnt even really get a chance to finish anything" feeling is.
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lionblaze03-2 · 9 months ago
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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.
#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else#It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize#You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt#Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc#Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t#And it gives you a crisis at age 14#Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice#and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it#Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something#I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’#and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir#Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag#I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something#More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please#doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue#But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today#(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it#TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start#Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything#Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing#I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation#But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south#It certainly does not help and can be disheartening#Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious#lion’s lair
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