#do u want my blood as well
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here we go into the gov bureaucracy once again, what is a sole trader and how do I pay the flippin' taxes so you can keep stealing money dear gov please let me know if you have any further doubts or concerns have a lovely day
#angry at the system#the gov lies#all govs lie#take my taxes#do u want my blood as well#my soul? sorry that one is not mine to give#thy kingdom come#earth is such a mess rn#rambling#adult life#self employed#it has always been a mess tho#all is the same under the sun#nothing new nothing old
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ark aftermath
#being in the ark with knives who had gathered such immense power definitely fucked with vash's brain#their fight before the ark haunts me. what do you mean 'blackness of decay' jesus christ#it reminds me of 'youve got more of them...scars'#knives seeing that his brother is actively like. dying.#also what do u mean knives tried to merge with him. that definitely took a toll on both of them#anyway so vash has vivid hallucinations of his brother and whatnot#wolfwood hates himself for that obviously#just imagine the horror he would experience if vash called him 'knives'#vash literally spitting blood because 1) anxiety 2) hes so fucking tired and tortured and shit#he wants a break guys give him a break#but ooobviously vash (the man he is) he'll never accuse wolfwood of trapping him in the ark. of betraying him etc#so he'll just be happy to be there alive and relatively well and hope the same for his brother#at least for the time being before vash meets him and kills him#this is the longest comic ive made sorry if it feels a bit rushed/not well concluding#best i can do#its been kicking my ass for the past week and i just wanted to be done w it#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun maximum#trigun fanart#my art#millions knives#<- for a fragment of a second#what else#tw hallucinations#tw blood#tw emetophobia
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☆ love; heretical and divine
{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 0.8k
To love a God is heretical. It is an act of blasphemy– it is to drag them down from their throne of hollow gold, to topple the pedestal the worshipers uphold on their shoulders like lambs at the herders heel. It is the act of forcing them to their knees and ripping that beating heart of glorious gold and beautiful, cruel divinity from their chest, so pure it burns.
To love a God is to make them sin. To make them painfully, horribly human.
To love a God is to sin.
The love of a worshiper is no love at all, brilliant in its raw purity, untainted by sin. It is fear and obedience masked by adoration so overpowering it corrupts. It makes the lamb so unquestioning in it's faith it will never question the knife that cuts, the teeth that rip, the claws that tear. If the Creator deemed them unworthy of the very life crafted by their hands, then they must have committed a sin so grave there lay no salvation for their horrid soul.
But she is no worshiper– her lips speak of heresy as easily as she breathes, her words nothing but lies, cold and cruel like the ice that crawls along her skin like webs.
She loves a God like a lover should.
A damned sinner reaching longingly for the heavens.
She loves a God in the subtle brush of their lips, their muffled voices behind closed doors as they indulge in curiosity untamed. She is a sinner through and through, but she feels herself fall further with every brush of her hand across their cheeks, every touch she bestows upon them like a lover. She memorizes the imperfections of their body like memorizing a map– every scar, every mark, every line drawn on their body like a canvas, her touch the brush that stains the pristine white.
No devoted lamb shall ever see the painting they create in these stolen moments– it is for the eyes of a heretic so vile it makes them shudder, their body dirtied by the love of a woman so vile even their divinity is obscured by the ice.
The lambs may be satisfied with fleeting glimpses of gold and empty words from lips that guide them to the jaws of the wolves, but she is not. Her hands crave them like a starving hound, aching to touch that imperfect skin hidden by the veil of gold that obscures the painfully human body beneath. She longs to free them from the golden cage that binds them– to see their wings blot out the sky, their divinity tainted by sin and making them all the more beautiful for it.
It is a longing that leaves a festering wound that cannot heal, will not heal. Even if it could, she would not let it.
For as much as she tries, deny it as she may, she is no better then the blind lambs following the herder who holds a blade in their hand, glittering like gold in the sun, stained by dull red.
She is a fool, and what a fool they make of her with the touch of their hands against her skin– so cold it leaves frost on their fingertips. Yet they do not fear the cold, mapping out every inch of her imperfections, carved into her body by her own hands.
She has always been a heretic, cursing the divine until she could speak no more, but if divinity can be found in them – in this love that consumes, that burns her hands and her lips – then she is a Saint, praying at the altar until her throat bled.
But in the end, she has and will always be a cold woman with hands stained with blood. Until it is all she can taste, until it is all she can smell, until it is all she can feel. These hands of hers, heretical and divine, will bleed the God from their veins– she will become the wolf to their lamb until the rivers of Teyvat run gold with their ichor, until the gold bleeds into red, the taste of their divinity on her tongue.
Until she drags a God from their lofty throne and makes of them a monster.
There is no greater triumph to the heretic then to love a God into sin. To make a God sin to love.
To love is to be human, and they are no God.
Even if she must tear the gold from their very being until all that's left is something human. Even if Teyvat crumbles and decays, even if it begins over and over again..
She will do it again and again, until the gold can bleed no longer. Until her sins grow too great for Teyvat to contain.
To love a God is to devour, and be devoured. An endless cycle of sin that dulls the glow of gold into something new– something horrifying and divine, in it's own right. Something just as horrid as her, just as divinely corrupted by the sins she carries on her shoulders like a trophy, as gold as the sun and as cold as ice.
Divinity, carved into something human by love all consuming, until it all bleeds away and they begin their dance anew, for as many cycles as it takes.
An eternity, if she must, of dooming this world of theirs to fire and decay for a glimpse of the being snared by their golden shackles.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#tsaritsa#tsaritsa x reader#rip 2 anyone who expected like. a normal fic lol. lmao.#im very normal abt the tsaritsa and love its so tasty#i left it very up to interpretation what like. actually happens but. yknow.#i just think tsaritsa being the god of love and not knowing how 2 love without being weird abt it is fun#also wanted to dig into the concept of reader being fundamentally changed by being the creator besides gold blood yknow#but the tsaritsa Knows its changed you and she hates it. she hates it but how does one destroy what is divine?#how do you destroy the very thing that has created you in its hands so cruel and kind?#ive really gone off the deep end huh#this is a warning 2 the normal ppl u might as well leave now. lol#lowkey going for her actually straight up eating u but decided that was too weird for my first fic in a while. had 2 tone it down#i also wanted to add a bit of a concept of the constant resets teyvat goes through and how it plays into the themes#the tsaritsa constantly stuck in a cycle of getting rid of your divinity to be with you as you actually are but teyvat “dies” shortly after#bc obvs ur not the creator afterward so it just croaks and then it all resets again and again#but its the tsaritsa we r talking abt do u think that stops her. NO#obvs still up 2 interpretation go wild this was just what i intended#can u tell i have a lot of feelings abt tsaritsa and concepts of love from her pov. haha. I PROMISE IM NORMAL#i am mentally well why do u ask#what warnings do i add here. dont open this fic ive lost it maybe. yeah#covid rewiring my brain or smth idk man
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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simon the harrowed watching simon riley degrade further into insanity and when hunter gary sanderson shows up in the nightmare he warns him to watch out for a skull masked hunter annihilating anyone who gets near him with a beasthunter saif
warnings of “in another lifetime maybe he could have been your ally…but i doubt someone as far gone as he is can be reasoned with anymore” doesn’t stop sanderson from trying; he didn’t get the nickname roach for giving up easily
even as riley tries to obliterate him with the deadly precision of a practiced hunter coupled with the unhinged blood lust of a hunter intoxicated by the hunt sanderson keeps fighting back until he has riley flat on his back, his threaded cane pressed down tight on riley's throat to keep him still, looking into the covered eyes of the unhinged man that he knows can still see him, quietly reminding him of the hunt he abandoned before he gave in to his clear grief and agony; telling him they can take on ludwig together, take the research hall and the astral clocktower together, free the poor wizened child from his suffering together, if only riley would come back to himself, remember who he is and his purpose as a hunter; they could transcend the hunt together, gain true insight together, if only riley would remember who he was and could still be
#cod x bloodborne au#fully insane about this btw#i think i'm gonna have both father g and father tav exist at the same time in this#this takes place after my fic where soap and ghost fuck at the tomb of oedon#ghost has become *extremely* unhinged since then#i'll probs stick to the canon that henryk is dead and father g is alone now tho#also probably gonna pull some non-canon bs about him transforming back#its *MY* insane au and *I* cherry pick the canon bits to include#also djura#my beloved#my aroace king#i just KNOW him and mactavish would be gruff older man besties#i'll have roach encounter djura at some point in old yharnam#probably have roach befriend him too cause i fucked up my run trying to do that and wanted to sob#HATE the blood starved beast fight still omk FUCK that shit#cause apparently u gotta run through old yharnam without killing anything; kill the BSB to get the gaolers to spawn; go to hypogean gaol#trigger paarl (dont have to kill him yet); and THEN go back to djuras tower without him seeing you and he'll be friendly#getting through the area without killing anything isn't that hard but collecting items???#i was going insane trying to kill the bsb because i wasnt getting all the antidotes & beast blood pellets around old yharnam bc believe it#or not even earlier on running around in bloodborne trying to collect shit without killing anything is INCREDIBLY difficult!#so i was missing the fucking beast blood pellets around that one corner where the scourge beast drops down off the wall at you cause. well.#a scourge beast drops down off the wall to try and attack you AND theres that one that bursts out of the doorway by the stairs#so like#being cornered in an alley by two of them at once when theyre both aggro'd???#i dont even like trying to kill two at once and theyre really not that hard to kill#theyre easy enough to dodge theyre just annoying#plus i still need to go back to hypogean gaol to get the tonitrus cause i missed it in my last run and fuck buying it#i'm upping my arcane in this one to 15 so i can try out ludwigs holy blade eventually once i get to him cause i just wanna try it#i focused on my skill & strength stats in my other save file bc those make the game a lot easier#i'm doing a bloodtinge build this time which doesnt pay off like forever bc the good shit is all at cainhurst and you cant get the summons
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Same anon from earlier who sent that ask about how Dutch would react to javieran. I finished the fic but uh it's porn lol. If you're still interested it's "steady beat" on ao3
anon i would like you to know that i spent the first 20 minutes of my shift sitting in the bathroom reading this and i do not regret a single moment
THAT WAS SOOOO GOOD ARE UOU INSANE !-?/!?:3! JAVIERAN CONTENT WAS EXCITING ENOUGH ALREADY BUT PORN ??? AND SOFT, FLUFFY, HEAD-OVER-HEELS IN LOVE PORN ???????? you wrote this for ME !!!!!!! and i am SO GRATEFUL !-!2!2!3 OMG !!!!!!!!!! it was sooo good i was literally giggling and kicking my feet the whole time, you nailed their dynamic sooo so perfectly imo 😭💔 reading that was such a pleasure thank you for the food !!!!!
#kieran being trans ☹️☹️☹️☹️#u writing them to have an exaggerated height difference like i do (when i dont think they actually have that big of one) ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#u constantly referring back to javier having a metronome ticking in the back of his head is soooo beautiful to me he truly is an artist of#his own … like how a painter may see a scene out of any landscape they’re in or how a photographer may note the composition of the world aro#und them … javier taking note of kieran’s heartbeat as it is the song of his life is so beautiful. oh the artistry ….#so romantic …… you captured them sooo so well !!! i do so adore how you write them …#that was pure indulgence for me thank you for writing them exactly like i do i feel so fed#a few favourite lines that had me autisiming out:#‘how much further can they go until their veins join together and their blood flows freely between their bodies?#Until their stained souls tangle into binary stars and they are left as one person?#What would happen then?’#first of all; holy shit. oh my god. that’s so romantic.#second of all: SOO SOFFTTT UGGGHH i just KNOW they want to escape it all but more than that they would love to escape into each other. into#love in all it’s glory and in a gentility so rare in the world they live in FAWK GOD I LOVE WHEN LOVE IS SEEN ON A COSMIC LEVEL like it’s so#big that it’s small because it’s in every molecule every atom every breath every speck of stardust making them up#i’m gonna be sick#also#‘He’ll make a musician of his lover yet.’#had me going INSAAANNEEEEE !!!!! INSANE !!!!!!!!!!#SO GOOD I WISH I HAD THE TIME TO YELL ABOUT IT MORE BUT I HAVE TO GET ON THE FLOOR 💔💔💔#please know i loved it so much. truly made my entire day. thank you for sharing that with me. your writing is fantastic you are truly an art#ist#rdr2#(for the sake of my blog organization sorry tag)#javieran#text#ask#hero's yelling at folks again#anon
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actual conversation i had with my dental hygienist
hygienist: so what did you study at university?
me: chemistry...
hygienist: damn, no wonder you look so sad!
#this is especially funny now that i got a new job and it has like... barely anything to do with my degree LMAOOOO#mostly bc the job market is rough rn and i kinda need the money more than anything... but damn LOL#and then he proceeded to give me a speech about his own road to becoming a hygienist#how he started in business but then hated it so he started dj-ing#then found that he got bored of it and so he went to med school. but found that too much of a hassle as well#so now hes in dental school and working as a hygienist as he completes his schooling and is NOW debating on changing careers again#and like noah fence to the guy i know he was trying to be encouraging about how 'ur degree shouldnt shackle u to one type of career'#but also his carefree nature is sending alarm bells in my head bc the only ppl who speak like that are people who can Afford#to soul search like that. bc if i knew my parents are there to catch me if my new venture failed#damn i'd do fucking whatever i wanted to as well!! but ofc idk if hes really rich like that#he did have an aura tho. rich people aura. they got a way of talking sometimes... especially western ppl....#ANYWAY.... just wanted to share how i got scalped with my mouth wide open filled with blood thank u for listening to my ted talk#zee talks
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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my eye is twitching and i am ready to Throw Hands
#dear doctors. when u page a specialty for a CONSULT#the patient is still YOUR patient. you are simply asking the specialty's OPINION.#following up with the patient and handling the specialty's suggestion is YOUR job#and what a surprise! THIS ALSO APPLIES TO THE ER.#im gonna bitch slap the whole department into oblivion#i went to see a patient who no one talked to the family with#took two hours to handle the case then went to give my recommendations to the er doc#only for the doc to raise a brow and say 'well im done with it its your case'#and i did my best not to yell but firmly said. we are in the ER. YOU ARE THE ER DOCTOR. THIS IS YOUR PATIENT NOT MINE#bad enough they insisted i come see her an hour!! before my shift ends even tho they couldve called me hours earlier#i tell the doctor 'hey i tried calling the patients relative and they didnt answer maybe try talking to them too'#and she says and i quote 'there's no way im doing that#and im like. 😐 do you WANT me to report you? i will gladly report you for not doing your job#yesterday they asked us to evaluate a patient who hadn't even had blood tests done yet#im done. i quit i am exhausted and mad and sleepless#rant over fuck the er all specialties hate the er end of discussion#burrito talks medicine#burrito talks#delete later
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its so important to me that you know how much ive already cried over this wip and its literally only been two days
#if this ever gets finished it will be a blasted miracle#god i just. it is just so much to me#its right in that sweet spot where it fits exactly with the image of the character in my head#AND its pressing on the bruise of an enormous hangup for me in my real life as well#i say this very genuinely: i think if u are not used to the creative process of things like making art/writing/music/dance/drama etc#its difficult to really get into how emotionally significant and worldview-changing those processes can be#obviously they dont HAVE to be. u can sing a song just for the sake of singing it and it doesn't need to mean anything at all if u want#but when u are actually CREATING it. like from nothing. boy that can really get u (in a good way and a not-good way)#and i dont say this to make the creative process sound all superior and grandiose just to make myself feel better - i really do think#that there is smth profoundly transformative and tender inside it that it is so important to feel#i mean. essentially its the feeling that the high school theatre kids are addicted to lmao#but they r totally right to be because it IS addictive and it DOES feel really good#when it comes to writing fic for me it can be such a powerful emotional experience#i only used to get that from dance (and that didn't start to happen until at LEAST 11 or 12 years after i started)#its not always SO intense. but when it is then it Really Is#and i think you can kind of tell when you read it#sometimes its emotional bc its the satisfying execution of a singular vision - its motion capture/out of my head/resist and elongate#and sometimes its bc the feeling is so intensely and overwhelmingly personal - return to me/blood sugar baby!/reeling/sea change/#in my mind i think you can really see it in my human nature series - the one with warden and vega#i dont know if thats purely bc that series means so much to me - its been my baby for almost 2 years now#or if its also bc much of it has happened during a very emotionally intense part of my life#in any case when i say that these things are very personal i don't mean in a literal sense necessarily#im not ACTUALLY out here building stalker museums or cannibalising prison guards or splitting the fabric of time#bc whats important is how it FEELS - at the heart of those fantastical things are emotions that aren't magical or supernatural at all#feelings and fears and desires that i have in my life - translated into something much bigger and grander and easier to talk about#do not worry because this is not going to be read by anyone. but if i were your english teacher i would tell you#to go and have a skim of one of the fics i mentioned just now#and i wonder what you think i was thinking about when i wrote it#what i was afraid of or what i was wanting or what i didn't know how to deal with#i dont have to ask because i already know. but i think you could guess if you really really wanted to
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Books Read in 2024:
Little Mushroom: Revelations by Shisi (2022)
The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System Vol. 3 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (2022)
The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System Vol. 4 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (2022)
The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros (1984)
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller (1949)
Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World by Naomi Klein (2023)
Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carreyrou (2018)
Heaven Official's Blessing Vol. 1 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (2021)
Heaven Official's Blessing Vol. 2 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (2022)
[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]
#2024media#gigi.txt#little mushroom vol 2 was even better than the first i REALLY loved it. i want to own it tbh i rec it to anyone it was a really well done#post apocalyptic novel examining the continuation of humanity and what it means to be a person and oughhhh i loved it.#svsss is. well. svsss. head in hands. they really do win worst at sex for a reason i cringed so much. i LOOOOOVED the non-bingqiu extras#but hated the ones centered on them god they are just. so. head in hands. head in haaaaaands.#ive never actually read death of a salesman or mango street before and i liked them both tho mango street was SOOOOO fucking good#salesman was just. yeah i get why its a classic but shrugs.#doppelganger is not my favorite naomi klein book but it was a decently solid read. i gave it a four star when i read but honestly#i dont remember a lot now. so.#bad blood fucking consumed me. its abt elizabeth holmes and i only knew surface level stuff b4 but this was SOOOO GOOOOOD#and mwahs tgcf i love u so much. truly think its my fave mxtx book ngl. the official tl is so good imo and the AAAART gnaws on it
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SEASON 4 FINALE.........I felt genuinely ill the whole time like my stomach was twisting I was gonna throw up oh my god what the FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#SAM MY BOY#SAMUEL MY BELOVED IM SO SORRY#THE FUCKING CON ........ THE WHOLE TIME!?!?!?! THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME!?!??!?!#u js have 2 respect her @ this point 4 that bc holy shit#2 season spanning game she was in 4 the LONG HAUL#cas defying fuckers 4 the gayass 1 million complex brothers 🎉#sam made me want 2 throw up so much#he js wanted 2 save ppl .... he didnt kno!!!! HE DIDNT KNO!!!!!!!!!!! (said thru tears)#THE FUCKING DEMOM EYES...ON HIM......IT MADE ME ILL#srry!!!!!!! sam thoughts im rlly biased#OUGH he PRAYED he had FAITH and he was MANIPULATED and TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF and REFUSED 2 SEE IT bc he WANTED 2 BELIEVE#that he culd do GOOD despite tbe fact he KNEWWW he had DEMOM BLOOD in himmmmmmm!!!!!!!!! ARRRRRRGHHHHHHHH#im having so many thoughts. abt him. but i dont thibk im articulating them v well @ all.. oh well! do u understand what i mean#anyways unreleated i thibk sam an cas shuld fuck nasty#im making galaxy brain parallels between them i js cant explain them v well. but i think gay sex wuld help (it wuldnt)#uhmmmm what else#chucks goofy i hope nthn bad happens 2 him (smth bad always happens)#MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! can these stupid ass brothers catch a BREAK!!!!!!! for ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!#can s5 b normal (s5 won't b normal)#why the hell did i start watching spn. worst mistake of my life#ive been reminded i CAN infact get emotionally attached 2 fictional characters. thanks spn. ive got sam rotating in my mind now#i want dean 2 punch fuck outta him and then i want them 2 make up and they shuld fly 2 sum place else and have a normal life#im so DONE w this show!!!!! (im starting s5 next wk)#why the hell os this show making me feel shit bro this wasnt supposed 2 happen :(#sigh.....................oh well#spn#rivers rambles <3
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The meower
#Queued... technically March 23rd?#I mean its march 22nd in oregon. but im not there rn lolz#either way im late. SORRY !! i forfor to queue on the 20th then i was on planes for like 21 hrs total#well no 5 of those were a layover @ the airport but#ANYWAYYYYY hi future me !!!#Howww was the trip? im on my first (second actually- its 4am of the second day if u coukd the arrival) day in Hong Kong#Its rlly hot and humid so I think im gonna die. BUT ITS ALSO SUPER COOL !!#Even just from the few hours I had out earlier its amazingggg. The lights and the buildings are so cool and theres such a fun but chaotic#atmosphere - idk if its just bcs its a big city or specific to HK?#I loveee large cities in general. New york. Tokyo. HK. thats all of the ones ive been to ig#I havent seen even close to all of HK. Im in central rn but we're goin to other parts later#Dad says the other parts are totally different- Like theres LOADS of gisnt buildings here (WAY MORE THAN U SEE IN ******!!! u know that tho#and theyre almost all residential of the ones I passed. Im sure theres offices n stuff i just didnt see them in the likd 20 minutes cab#ride lolz. U know all tuis already tho#ig what im getting at is HOW WAS THE TRIP !!!!! How was the rest of HK? WHAT WAS KYOTO LIKE??#augh soo many cool things.....#Also also !! Have you learned any mire katakana?#ive JUST learned the vowel line so maybe u lesrned the k line now too?#I cant imagine school is any different. OHH DID U FINISH THE M P 10P COMIC??#I started it and got abt one page done on the plane#I think it should only end up being two or three pages idk#Ohh !! Hows the new meds going !! I think u should have ur blood test done by now so do u know if it helped at all?#I hope soooooooooooo#Mm I think thats all I have to say .... NO WAIT HAVE U HUNG OUT W/ JACKIE??#i rlly want to b friends with her ^.^#Alright Thats all !! HAVE A GOOD DAYYYYYY I LOVE U#queue drop#weather report#WAIT EDIT DID THE TRIGUN VOLUME COME. HOW IS IT
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to illustrate the kind of sewer i am i use child size crayola craft scissors for literally everything from cutting fabric to cutting my threads. i have fancier scissors but i forget to use them. i nearly exclusively use embroidery and tapestry needles when hand sewing cause i inexplicably don’t own any normal needles. i use my stepmothers terrible sewing machine that needs to be rethreaded every time you start a new stitch. i’m a quilter but never cut a good square in my life because i never measure unless i have to. and despite all of this on wednesday i’m starting a college course on industrial sewing and pattern drafting. lord pray for us sinners (self taught sewers) now and at the time of our death (being thrown into the deep end of sewing)
#im actually so scared like i know how to use a sewing machine perfectly well and i have no trouble operating it#but that doesnt mean that sewing machines dont want to kill me. they do because all of them are out for blood i swear#industrial machines look SO scary r u kidding me#also thank god im not a garment sewer because my sloppy sewing traits would not fly in that field#nothing matters when u quilt i swearrrr#this will be a net good without a doubt like im super happy i get to take this class#however. im coming from such a lacklustre place. i know better im just the laziest sewer ever
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sometimes u put yr playlist on shuffle a song comes up and you have to put another song in the queue immediately as soon as it comes on bc it makes you think of that song
#this is abt aura by ghost and pals Sry everytime i hear it im like a fiddle This is just like devil went down to georgia and then i have to#put devil went down to georgia in the queue#i think its a fiddle innit.. it sounds like a fiddle but im also NOTORIOUSLY bad at telling instruments apart. <- guy who once couldnt tell#if something was a guitar or a piano i actually rly rly rly rly dont wanna get into it okay.#i guess you didnt know it but i am a fiddle player too 😏😏#sry. the other thing this post is abt is kiss me and ladies in their sensibilities sweeney. obviously those r connected#but if ladies in their sensibilities comes on by itself i quite literally couldnt be assed so everytime i have to put kiss me on instead an#add lits to the queue. bc them together is like the best song i ever heard its just that the beginning of lits is just kind of boring It#does get stuck i my head sometimes but the supreme part is the end thats Basically just a reprise of kiss me#but also theyre kind of the same song anyways at least o wowww i was just typing in tempo with the fiddle that was awesome. at least on the#2012 soundtrack aka the best one talk to the hand or dont i dont wanna hear it. well i do want to hear it it being the 2012 london cast#recording of sweeney todd starring michael ball and imelda staunton. ANYWAYS!! in that one the songs lead in to eachother#ive listened to all the other soundtracks but idr if they do that.. well ill tell u the movie doesnt bc it doesnt have kiss me. which is#just so. the johanna anthony romance doesnt rly have much substance in the first place and yr taking away like. their duet together. ok....#AND yr taking away the end part of lits? the best part of that song? whatever its fine its fine.#if anybody is curious my ranking of casts is 2012 > obc > movie > 2006 i fucking hate 2006 or 2005 or whatever i hate it sm it makes my#blood literally boil im sry. i fucking LOATHE it idk what it is well i do but this post is already 5000000 years long. idt the new one is#out fully yet... i was ok with the songs i have heard but idk where id rank it yet. i should prolly check if the full things out yet omg so#me and my lampstie (way of saying my siblings name if theres something deeply wrong with you) can listen :]
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