#do people still talk about the caligula effect

[ablekable]

please tell me someone understands what I mean with this

[archivalofsins]

Hey, this isn't going to be a long post because I want to get back to playing Caligula Effect 2. However, confirmed that Double is mostly a dream with small snippets of reality while MeMe is reality with breaks into dreams. Also that the graphs we see displayed distortedly throughout Double are a polysomnography.

X X

"I’m probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon." - "All I did was dream, and that’s what you found GUILTY? “He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"

So, let's talk about this for a bit.

all gifs made by @apatchworkstar

So, in Caligula Effect 2 there's a heavy focus on the meaning of the word dream. It's highlighted multiple times that a dream can be something you have at night while sleeping or refer to something you want to do in the future. So, throughout double the word dream itself even has a double meaning.

I think that when John states all he did was dream contextually he's referring to the dreams one has when they sleep. I believe this because the structure of Double as I stated before is more dream like than MeMe. Though I have another pertinent reason for believing this outside of that. Let's discuss the telltale signs of a dream displayed throughout Double first.

1. Takes place mainly in one location.

Unlike MeMe where we change locations frequently. From the underpass to the inside of their home, to the dumping area outside of their home, to their bathroom. Double is limited to the train station and the train only. Despite seeing John commuting he never makes it home or to work. He is confined to this location.

2. Seemingly endless terrains. (Never-ending passages or areas that seem to go on forever.)

3. Partial literacy or none. (Not everyone can read within dreams but those who can rarely can read the same thing twice. Instead the words will either keep changing or go blank.)

People who can read in dreams are pretty rare. They tend to be in communications based professions or writers.

CAN YOU READ IN YOUR DREAMS? SCIENCE REVEALS WHY MOST PEOPLE CAN'T

There are also other things that can't be done in dreams according to other sources.

X

That are helpful when it comes to differentiating between reality and dream in Mikoto's case. Also bringing more scrutiny to John's statements during the interrogation where he claims they attacked random strangers on the street an impossibility if it was really a dream like they both claim. We see in Double that none of the people have faces, they're all mannequins.

Since John stated he attacked some stranger it makes sense for everyone in Double to appear this way because in dreams you can't really just create a full ass person that you've never seen before. So, this makes everyone in John's version of events a stranger to him. However, you know where that's definitely not the damn case.

In MeMe where we see this guy plain as day-

As Mikoto does a very physical activity. However, this is a good time to interject- Dreams are very personalized.

Personal anecdote. I once had a dream when I was in a bookstore, and I was browsing around. I'd read a book I'd liked but I was unsure if I wanted to really commit to purchasing it but there was limited time was there with others, I had like twenty minutes at most, and I'd looked at a clock just to see what time that'd be. When I went to skim the book again it was blank. Then I looked at the clock and it was blank too. I was in high school at the time and had already looked into information around dreams and became acutely aware I was which led to a bit of lucid dreaming before I woke up. In other dreams I've been in fights, used weapons etc. even ran for a good while.

So, yeah, I've done physical activities in my dreams before, and I've seen people I know and have never known in my dreams too. It's different for everyone.

Yet, it's still valid to question-

Why would Double something primarily from John's perspective follow the rules of dreams more than Mikoto's?

If what they did was just a dream, then those rules should be applicable to both songs not just one.

It's not as though all of MeMe just shows the reality of the situation either. In fact, dream and reality are more neatly separated within their first trial song. Something that is displayed by one of those things listed. The inability to look in mirrors.

And being confined to one place regardless of how it changes over the course of the video.

So, yes there are very logical ways to discern between what is a dream and what is reality within Mikoto's trial songs. Milgram has done nothing to hide this. They even further displayed this by putting dream in large font for all to see over most of double.

Yet what's the other thing that makes me so sure that when John is discussing dreaming, he's discussing the dreams you have while sleeping and Mikoto is discussing dreams for the future?

For one Mikoto is specifically paired with the woman who sings this-

"Is the damage to get in the way of someone’s dream."- "If it damaged someone’s dream to the points of stopping it I’ll gouge you out with my fangs."

So chances are a part of the reason they were connected is because they lashed out due to someone gettting in the way of their personal goals and dreams. Yet there's also the fact he plainly fucking states what his dream was in his written trial one interrogation.

Q.04 Are you picky when it comes to fashion?

Mikoto: Of course I am. Nobody would want to ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, right?

06 What do you hate?

Mikoto: working overnight / reptiles / violence

Q.14 Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years?

Mikoto: It’d be nice if I could build up my own self-sustaining design business. That’d be pretty liberating.

"Hey now, I saved you, right? So why in the hell are you crying? Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”, stand up and sing out your gratitude, that’d be good."

Mikoto even uses similar verbage to that used in his first written interrogation when asked about these things in the lyrics of Double. Such as right, and that'd be good.

So, yeah there's all that.

[gunsli-01]

I think DECO*27 100% knew what he was doing with Futa and Muu, and if the point he was trying to make about the both of them was internet/moral radicalization, then hats off to him because Futa is a damn good reflection of internet mob mentality and Muu is just proof that some fans are hypocrites (even Futa calling out voters for condemning him and praising Kotoko was a good detail). Hell, maybe my thoughts on Muu make me a hypocrite too.

Also, if he's been trying to do specific pairings being a juxtaposition of each other, then 03 and 04 make a lot of sense being a specific pairing (moreso than any other).

Personally, I believe everyone is allowed to be a little bit of a hypocrite when it comes to Milgram. I mean it actively promotes voting based on one's own biases. Plus, if that's what makes this experience fun for some then I say keep at it. I'd just enjoy seeing those biases interrogated more or at least noted. I feel like that's what will keep the fandom peaceful and less argumentative.

My focus is what would be fun overall, and I feel like arguing amongst ourselves isn't good for anyone. Like the shape and future of the prison changes with our choices sure but that doesn't mean the fandom space should turn into a prison in and of itself.

In my opinion it seems Deco and the writer working on Milgram Takuya Yamanaka know what they're doing. They also both did work on the Caligula Effect games. Though Takuya was the producer on the first one and the writer of the second game. I'm quite sure he gave writing input on the first one as well though.

Deco and he seem to be discussing possible outcomes from the verdicts already locked in as well.

I'm not that good with Japanese so these will just be slightly corrected google translations.

"In other words, the future changes depending on if one is "forgiven" and "not forgiven" × 10 people. The other day, I went over the possible outcomes that can occur from the current situation with DECO*27, but even for us as the producers, I realized that the future of the prison is very exciting thanks to the choice of the guards."

Though I'm fairly sure the x 10 people means across ten people or times ten. So, the future changes with each new verdict.

As someone who enjoys writing and collaborating/discussing plot points with friends I can't help being a little jealous. This seems like an incredibly fun and lively predicament to be in!

They also said this when Futa's second trial CD went on sale.

"Futa's second trial EP is on sale! I wrote the drama "Baptism of Fire" with the intent of punching the guards who participated in Milgram with all my might, so please enjoy it💪 and keep sharing your thoughts! Look forward to the release of the MV premiere of "Backdraft" from 19:00 today🔥"

So, yeah, they're moving very strategically it seems. Possibly paying attention to how people respond to the videos, maybe even seeing the popular theories floating around. They also seem to genuinely like Futa's character. He's even been compared to a puppy on the Milgram app.

Given the ideas I've seen discussed in Caligula Effect Overdose so far... They seem to enjoy depicting realistic and flawed characters. Sometimes to extreme degrees. @apatchworkstar and I have been going through Caligula Effect Overdose and boy if you think the Milgram characters are messed up then ha, ha, ha... They're a bit tame in comparison to that cast, which is saying a lot given most of them haven't committed murder. Yet somehow some of them are still easier to dislike...

I can't talk much though my favorite character in it so far is Eiji Biwasaka. He is probably one of the most dangerous people there and may have committed some crime, but I don't have confirmation of it yet just a lot of alluding to it~ Real talk he probably did that shit I think he did. Yet, at this point I'm like you've been the realest dude here this could be true, and I would just not care.

Hell, I'd probably help him cover it up at this point. Honestly, I would I know in my heart he did that shit and I'm just like huh well this isn't Milgram and I'm not a snitch this seems like a not my lane issue. Though my bias is oh shit star sign buddy; I don't see enough Pisces in media, sweet!

Things I've seen covered in the first game so far have been fatphobia, transphobia, eating disorders, doxing, assault, peeping, and a myriad of other topics that usually are not dragged to the forefront.

So, they already have some experience with discussing heavy topics and depicting discrimination realistically in various forms.

All that to say yeah, I agree with you they one hundred percent have a grasp of what they're attempting to convey. So, aggrandizing any of the prisoners is going to end up leading to some disappointments. Because they are really good at portraying horrid people and the fact that all the Milgram characters don't seem to be terrible people is more suspicious at this point.

[deuterosapiens]

Just found out about Omegle shutting-down. I totally get it, that place was a hell-scape in the actual worst ways, but I still feel sort, I don't know, weird about it.

I used to use it when I was having some of my worst emotional days to find people to anonymously vent my problems to. Sometimes people actually listened and talked and I felt kind of okay.

I mean, yeah, some of the actual worst wastes of human zygotes stalked and hunted and preyed on it. And its fully anonymous user-base meant there was very little to protect its users: the same kind of anonymity that protects the freaks and sex-offenders hurt the curious, the confused, those who didn't know enough (through no fault of their own) to protect themselves from terrible people.

I think I always took for granted the strange-ness of a chat service without user-profiles. Where it was a feature, rather than a limitation one had to actively go out of their way to restrict their user experience to create.

I don't think there's a good word in English for how I feel about it. Guiltily nostalgic? No. Depressed, bummed-out? Not really. It's a thing that used to be there and isn't anymore and there's a sense of loss, not because the thing missing was valuable or important, bit because it's simply a thing that's gone and wasn't before.

You could go your entire life never one sticking your tongue into an electrical socket, but the moment you are told you can no longer stick your tongue into an electrical socket because electrical sockets no longer exist and there will never again be electrical sockets, you feel almost a slight something. The ever-so-brief desire to jam a metal fork into an electrical socket solely on the basis that you can't anymore, not because of rules or morals or anything, but because forks also don't exist anymore and so now you couldn't even if you wanted to.

The Caligula effect refers to the desire to do something you shouldn't. I'm feeling something like a nostalgic regret seeped perhaps slightly in the dregs of the desire to briefly inflict intense psychological damage by switching to a site that doesn't exist anymore. Call it Caligula's Nostalgia. Or something. I'm not a psychologist.

[cdyssey]

The Fall of the House of Usher (1.02 Reactions)

“Whole damn office still as white as cream cheese in case you’re wondering if we’re invading.” Get him, Dupin fjsndnsn.

Appreciate that they’re tackling the utter insidiousness of Big Pharma in Ligadone.

Perry’s ghost just behind Dupin jfc. They’ve used that open threshold to superb effect so far, continually priming viewers to look into it. Something’s going to be there, and if there isn’t, you best be ready.

THE SHOT OF PERRY LYING IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUNCH OF NAKED BODIES. MAN SKQKQKANA.

was that a two second clip of someone crushing drugs with a butt plug

yes

Perry threatening to stab his partner just because he ate his eggs is so fucked up.

Perry realizing the toxic nature of the nest egg investments is a nice touch. He’s seen the control its exerted over his siblings, but damn, you can hear it in his voice, how he still wants it anyway

That pink and silver suit on perry is wonderful holy shit

GUCCI CALIGULA WOQOKQOFIF

Frederick, like Tamerlane, is resentful towards the “bastards,” and it’s so painful and horrible and raw.

Sure, all of them are shitheads, but they’re shitheads

sorry to prospero, but if I saw Carla Gugino in a beautiful red trench coat standing on a condemned building and silently warning me of my impending folly, I’d fold.

T’Nia Miller is so goddamn hot. The Victorine fits are immaculate.

“You’re basically 80% cum, I can fucking smell it on you.” My god andksndnjesjns.

Leo encouraging Perry is the first genuine display of sibling affection that we’ve seen in the entire show.

My god @ perry’s bloodied ghost inching closer and closer. I have to turn this down bc I know there’s gonna be another goddamn jumpscare

I know flanagan’s gonna do it

FUCK ME.

rod pushing vic because her heart mesh might have helped in. awoof

Rod coming home to his family. Hghshshsgs. The way Annabel—even though she’s tired and clearly spent—is attentive both to Rod and baby Tamerlane. And SEEING Freddy and Tam as children, growing up in a small but loving home, and knowing who they’ve become now. Fucking wrenching.

“Vomit.” QKQKNSNANANA. God, I love Madeline

“The kids are healthy and happy, we’re together. Money isn’t everything. We’re okay.” Annabel Lee knows that this—family and health—would have been enough. Also, Annabel’s actor vaguely reminds me of Jessica Chastain

“Hell, an algorithm that could write movies and TV shows.” ☠️

Madeline talking to Lenore about her AI is the warmest we’ve ever seen her; she smiling; there’s a sparkle in her eye. Mary McDonnell is so good.

The office design for the various characters is insanely good. Camille’s vs. Rod’s vs. Madeline’s are all representative of their characters as they’ve been presented to us so far.

LENORE WALKING IN ON JUNO AND ROD GOD AKQNSNSN. Creepy old man

Morelle alluding that Freddie can be unpleasant to Perry… and we saw some of that, with his anger at Perry at that meeting.

“The perfect pussy, if that’s your speed, or both.” Perry may be a hedonistic shithead, but he also said bi rights

I know I’ve said this about all the usher women, but Tamerlane is so hot

OH MT GODSANAOLQAKKAKAKQJDOWKWNSOWKWKSKJDIDWKWK

WATCHING SOMEONE ROLEPLAY HER FUCKING SELF BEING AN INTIMATE AND LOVING PARTNER AND GETTING OFF TO IT

FUCKED UP FUCKED UP I LOVE HER FUCKED UP

IT ISN’T EVEN SEXY TALK. IT’S LITERALLY JUST POSITIVE WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

I WANNA STUDY HER. I WANNA LOOK AT HER UNDER A MICROSCOPE!

Imao, at Camille liking BILLT when no one is around

Holy FUCK, at Camille and her assistants

morelle at the clubbbbbb

Jfc, perry even having cameras on the fuck rooms.

HIM GOING TO BLACKMAIL PEOPLE WITH THE FOOTAGE. DICKHEAD!!

he’s def my least favorite usher kid so far

The music choices for the club scenes have been fucking excellent

CARLA GUGINOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. AWOOGHDHABABABA

She’s giving him extensive warning, one last out. Prospero has had opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to go back.

“You are consequence, Perry. And tonight, you are consequential.” Awofjdndnsns.

“We could have had fun, you and me.” There’s sincerity there and also sadness. She can see that Perry has already made his choice.

“I’ve always liked the bad boys. Got a weakness, I suppose.” GODD QKQNNSNAKAOQKQNSA.

Carla’s char warning the waitstaff. Oh, that’s so good.

OH, HER WARNING MORELLE TOO AUGNHHHHH

GO, MORELLE. GO.

AND SHE DOESN’T.

HOLY ACYUAL FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

JESUS FUCKING ACTUAL CHRIST

FUCK

THE SOUND DESIGN OF THE FUCKING WET FLESH JESUS

KISSING HIM HGHHSNANQKPQMAKSKAMAM

IUNNFMWLQKQKQKSKSIWKWOWNS

well

that is certainly one of the most FUCKED UP things I have ever fucking seen

(Perry's death echoing the shot of him at the beginning of the episode is chef's fucking kiss)

[genderqueer-miharu]

Hi I've been seeing you talk abt it a lot and it's piqued my interest- what's Caligula effect?

Oh hey i'm glad i picked your interest. Caligula Effect is a videogame from 2016 that got a remake in 2018 Caligula Effect Overdose, this is the one you should go with as is the most complete. I got interested in it because Takuya Yamanaka, the writer in Milgram directed the game, Deco27 also worked as one of the composers for the game, which i think is how they met. There's also a second game Caligula Effect 2 which Yamanaka was more involved with as he was diector, producer and main writer of the game.

As for the plot of the game, it's about this virtual world called Mobius where people can go to escape the real world. In this world everyone becomes a high school student and doesn't age, and all their wishes become reality (well kind of). This world was created by a virtuadoll (basically just a vocaloid) called µ (basically this world's hatsune miku) who made this place to help people who were hurt by the real world. There's this group of students who call themseleves the Go-Home Club who realized this world is fake and want to find a way to go back to the real world. On the opposite side there's also the Ostinato Musicians, a group of people who work with µ in order to stop the Go-Home Club because they don't want anyone to escape.

You as the main character start the game with the club but can join the musicians later as well, then the game will have segments where you play as the president of the club or as a musician and you can have all those characters as party members and get to know the characters through their Character Scenarios, which are basically like the social links from Persona but a little less complicated. These scenarios also have a lot of influence on each other and even the main story in the case of two characters.

I haven't finished the playthrough i'm watching yet but i do like it so far, though it does start very slow imo i didn't really get that invested until the fourth dungeon. I will say though the game discusses heavy topics, but i do want to mention two things that can definetely stop someone from enjoying the game. First, there is a canon trans character as part of the musicians, and i think the way she's treated in the main story is not...very good? First off because the way you find out she is trans is because she's outed by someone from the main party during her dungeon, and after this many of the characters misgender her and make transphobic comments about her (even WAY after her dungeon's done), which i do think at least during her dungeon this was intentional in order to portray her hardships (because honestly these characters can be REAL assholes), but then they make jokes about her and even among the musicians she is STILL treated badly by the others and it's just tiring, especially because her character scenario IS genuinely really good and actually addresses many of these things that the main story does but you don't really get to see these things being properly talked about in the main story. I haven't finished the game tho and i think there's a few things later that will more properly address this aspect of her but it can be very uncomfortable. Second thing is that one of the musicians is...a creep, his name is a pun on the pronunciation of the word "stalk" and his dungeon is a public bathhouse. I think you can get where i'm going with this this. His whole thing is that he's a pervert and likes to peep on other women and you see him doing this multiple times during his dungeon. Anyways, as with all the musicians you can interact with him after his dungeon and do his scenario and all that, which i hate because he's still the same afterwards, i already didn't like him when he was first introduced, i thought hey maybe his scenario will show me something interesting, haha no learning more about him and how he was in the real world made me hate him even more. Even if some of the things discussed in his scenario were interesting i don't care, he's gross and creepy and he should be in jail like ayana said. Both of these characters are the bosses in the second and third dungeon, which is why i said the beggining can be hard to get into.

Aside from that, the soundtrack is awesome, and i do like most of the characters, i haven't finished it yet so obviously i still don't know how everything will end but i have been enjoying it. It's also very fun to find some similar themes to the ones in milgram. If you're interested in it i can link you to a playthrough of the game if you want, let me know!!

[unladielike]

( some ooc introspection underneath the cut that you aren’t required to read. i just had a lot of thoughts about myself lately, and while it’s a personal recounting with a happy ending, it does contain mentions of mental health issues, autistic suffering, suicidal thoughts, and escapism, so i would suggest not reading it if you’re sensitive to that sorta stuff: )

Looking back, I think the reason I never really enjoyed sharing details about my personal life was because as an autistic woman, I felt inept. Honestly, compared to my highschool years where I had peaked and excelled, I remember I just... struggled as soon as I entered college, to the point where I eventually had to drop out, if only because the coursework was way too difficult for me and I couldn’t keep up with it.

To me, it really was as though everyone else seemed to have no issues, moving on with their lives and graduating, while I was stuck in one place... failing to be productive. Why, at one point, I even fell into a state of depression, that even thinking about my future or being asked about what I planned to do with the rest of my life gave me intense anxiety. Seriously, every time my older sister asked about my plans, it would subsequently trigger me... that was how avoidant I was when it came to myself.

To that end, I did not like to talk about how I was essentially an unemployed shut-in who only went out to walk my dog, and how everyday, I struggled to hold onto a reason to stay alive upon thinking of myself as a disgrace; in fact, unlike certain people, trauma-dumping is not something I particularly enjoy, so for the longest period of time, roleplay was my form of escapism.

It’s why when I found myself in a friend group, I only ever talked about roleplay-centric stuff around them. Whereas they were eventually burned out from tumblr roleplay, I kept hyperfixating over ships/muses and infodumping on that one specific niche fandom rather than branching out into newer ones. Meanwhile, they would occasionally bring up real life stuff and air out their personal grievances with the people in their lives, which is something I could never bring myself to do, because I didn’t want to be known like that... therefore, I never wanted to talk about anything else besides my special interests.

Either way, due to how alone I was, I ended up becoming very traumatized when they stopped replying to me, both IC and OOC. Of course, I know now it was unhealthy to latch onto roleplay partners the way I did, but in my defence, I was mentally... very fragile, to the point where the RPC was my only refuge from real life back then. Honestly, now that I think about it, this avoidance of reality was probably why The Caligula Effect is a series that still strongly resonates with me to this day and has a very special place inside my heart.

Regardless, it took me being dropped by this friend group for me to finally decide I no longer want to spend all my free time, devoting myself to tumblr roleplay... that somewhere along the way, I ended up getting a job, after years of remaining stagnant. Of course, there are times where I still bemoan having to work, but all in all, I think I’m better off for it, especially since nowadays, I don’t even think about wanting to kill myself. Heck, I’m actually thriving at my job, which is something I never expected.

...At the same time, though, the lack of communication and ableism I experienced from the RPC made me less willing to open up and make new friends, because I’ve already been hurt way too many times and as a result, lack the desire to talk to many people.

[cephydots]

as someone who is friends with a person who is really obsessed with the Caligula Effect i'll try to give a rundown on Regret. On the off chance they read this I hope I got it all right those loving rants liveplay they did on Discord so that makes it a year ago or so

The two Caligula Effect games are about people getting trapped in the artificial paradises by virtuadolls (basically, vocaloids) after listening to their songs with the protagonist and their like minded companions wanting out after breaking the illusion created by them. The first centers around μ who created the space called Mobius where whatever someone wished for came true and they constantly relive the three years in high school with her ex-partner and fellow virtuadoll Aria wanting to put a stop to her and backing the party for that reason. The second game takes place years after the first with a new virtuadoll, Regret, skyrocketing into fame following μ and Aria’s plummeting popularity after the first game’s ending. And with this fame came the creation of Redo, a virtual space in which people can escape their woes and regrets they have in life. 

More under the cut.

A recurring element in the two games is the idea of idolizing someone with the major figures both ally and enemy being musical idols themselves. In 2, it’s laid pretty heavy with the views people have of Regret. Many people in Redo, including the Obbligato Musicians who compose songs for her, have placed her on some sort of mystical pedestal. A healer, a savior, and even an outright goddess with some doing what they can to elevate her into that role no matter the cost.

The protagonist and their friends are no different. Everyone sees her as their biggest obstacle in getting out of Redo, this tormenting force keeping them in their cages. χ, another virtualdoll, has made it her mission to surpass Regret given that she’s the “daughter” of μ and is angry at Regret dragging her mom’s name in the mud even further.

By the finale, all this build-up is thrown out the window with the revelations that she’s *not* a virtuadoll to begin with, but a human named Sayoko Hitomi who became a shut-in sometime during her formative years. Her mother left having grown fed up having to deal with her while her dad remained distant.

At some point she decided to pose as a virtuadoll and do covers of μ's songs which led to her gaining a following. Her dad caught on to this and pose as a fan and secretly support her, going by the alias Bluffman, to help her popularity grow and at some point this escalated to turning his daughter into a proper goddess to make her happy rather than, y'know, talking to her face to face and making up.

Sayoko eventually stopped being on board with the whole “goddess of paradise” thing when the implications of that reared their ugly heads what with shouldering the regrets and wishes of so many people but was too afraid to actually put her foot down and back out when she had the chance. She ended up discreetly supporting the protagonist and χ in defeating her for this very reason, even sabotaging her allies with no one the wiser.

Upon being told by the party that Bluffman died prior to confronting her by one of his allies who is irl employee (will not elaborate that's a whole other can of worms) she is positively ecstatic (still oblivious to the fact that he's her dad)

She also gains like a dozen more expressions after this critical information is revealed to her.

This is the point where she tells her side of the story and where some of the info above is brought up and while most of the cast isn't fond of the fact that they got caught up in Extremely Poor Communication but by this point she's not out to antagonize them or anything she's just concerned with getting out, even if it means her death and asks them to do what they have to do

And even when the protagonist obliges her request, the weapons installed by Bluffman activate and begin defending her despite what she wants and she begins going mad from the wishes of Redo's people calling out to her not unlike μ in the previous game which forces a confrontation anyway. Only when χ decides to shoulder *her* and everyone else's regrets does she put an end to this and gains the power to send the cast and everyone within Redo home

So, yeah, I'd say Buried is a good fit.

Edit: Although, I see valid cases for the Lonely too

Regret from The Caligula Effect 2 for the Buried?

[julia-drusilla-xii]

- What if Caligula defeated Apollo and became the new sun god?

- What if Nero managed to convince Meg in betraying Apollo once again?

- What if Commodus managed to destroy the Waystation?

- What if the Triumvirate won the battle against Apollo?

I got extremely carried away since I've thought about this for a long time. Everythings under the cut not only because it turned out to be long, but also so I can warn you that it gets pretty dark.

Caligula defeating Apollo

Medea successfully took Apollo's immortal essence.

With her fancy spellwork, Caligula now has the combined powers of Apollo and Helios.

Ave, Neos Helios!

And history repeats itself- the Triumvirate goes to civil war.

Commodus allies with Caligula

Python switches sides from Nero to Caligula

There was a scene in the book where Python was all "if there's a new sun in the west-" to Nero and that basically implied Python would no longer support Nero if Caligula succeeded.

New Rome would've fallen, either the same way as it did in Tyrant's Tomb or by the sheer power of Caligula and Commodus' army, money, weaponry, you name it (bc tbf they could've won if Rick didn't hold back). And possibly sooner than in the books unless Caligula still wants to slow his arrival and drink his Shirley Temple.

Any survivors are now on Caligula's side.

Meanwhile, Nero's desperate although he's hiding that desperation as much as he can.

Meg's no longer in control of Apollo and MIA over in California.

But, she has the Meliai.

Nero knows the reason Meg and her father ended up in New York. Because Caligula burned their home down. Because of how her father was working on something important and powerful, Caligula viewed that as a threat. He probably knew about the seeds and what they were, same as Caligula.

And Caligula knows that Nero knows.

Meg McCaffrey is the one who can change the odds, even slightly.

Realistically, she'd never want to go back to Nero or help Caligula. But Nero might be able to talk her into his side. She could equally decide to help Camp Half-Blood.

Caligula, Medea, Commodus, Python vs Nero vs CHB

Assuming Caligula is in control of Herophile, Harpocrates, and the Oracle of Cumae, then not only does he still have the power of prophecy but also the communications are still down for the demigods.

No matter how you want to dice it, Caligula wins overall by the sheer amount of power and resources on his side.

What would stop him from ordering to kill Meg on sight, simply firing an onager at camp (and it working bc Octavian isn't there to catapult himself to the sky), and winning against a full-fledged fight against Nero?

Maybe the gods but that's on if they decide to work with Camp Half-Blood to begin with. Rick's characterization via reactions on Apollo's return makes them iffy, but I'd really like to believe they at have a heart for their children, Jason, and Apollo. They stand a good chance if they side together in the end and it shows they actually learned the message of not letting the kids do all the work and appreciating them.

Maybe even the Waystation could help, provided that Commodus doesn't destroy them first.

If Caligula won, then it's just taking out Commodus and Python if he wants sole power.

If he lost, then there's a lot of mourning, the numbers of survivors are small, but there's a new appreciation and a better environment for the demigods.

Meg betraying Apollo

At any point in the series, Nero could have convinced her to betray Apollo but the two more likely times are in the Dark Prophecy- before she escaped to find Apollo and at the end of the book when after everything they've been through together all it took was being back in Nero's environment to get her back into being his pawn.

And as Apollo mentions multiple times in the series, Meg has the power to command him to kill himself. So, it wouldn't end well for Apollo.

If it were the first one, then it would be less emotional and painful on both parties, but it would still hurt.

The only person on Apollo's side from the beginning turned out to be a traitor. He'd have support from his children, but that doesn't change how she helped him.

The only escape from Nero that Meg had was no longer beside her and there was enough convincing to happen to convince Meg it was for the better.

Apollo still has a chance of restoring his immortality, especially if Lityerses became his companion in replacement so Apollo's not alone.

Meg would just be out to get him throughout his trials.

If it were towards the end, it would be more emotional.

Both lose their friend, ally, and their greatest supporter.

Domino effect to Nero's favor. Camp Half-Blood falls first. The rest of New Rome and the Waystation is next. Possibly Olympus if he wanted to go that far but if he doesn't want to push his luck then he still is powerful and the Olympians might be content that at least they are still standing.

Nero gets a swifter rise to power because Caligula and Commodus are already eliminated and Nero has their combined powers.

And Python rules from a backseat.

Ave imperator! Ave Caesar!

Commodus destroys the Waystation

Unlike before, Commodus has proven he could be a threat.

Especially if Apollo never got the chance to blind him.

There isn't much seen with him being someone who plans ahead and willing to just fight without the flashiness so I'm not entirely sure if being the sole ruler is in his favor.

He does, however, turn the tides in either Caligula or Nero's favor depending on who he decided to support. He still is part of the Triumvirate with wealth and resources, regardless of his want to provide a show and have fun.

If he sided with Caligula, then after the demigods and Nero are taken care of, Commodus would be next on Caligula's list.

Same if he sided with Nero.

The only real chance Commodus has of winning big is if he destroyed the Waystation before Apollo destroyed the oracle and if Commodus manages to capture Apollo first.

Apollo and Commodus seem to both at least remember how they were before Apollo drowned him.

Maybe manipulation via that way?

Either way, I can't say much for Commodus so this one's shorter than the rest. I can see anything happening, from him achieving co-emperor at best to still losing everything at worst.

Triumvirate vs Apollo

This one entirely depends on which battle.

Assuming that all the three emperors are alive, then the story changes at the latest in the Tyrant's Tomb. Specifically, Caligula and Commodus are actually still alive despite Frank's sacrifice.

And they show up at the end, weak, but alive.

Because unless you count that picture Rachel got of them in a penthouse that was blurry, there was never a scene where all of them were together which isn't fair. Then again, Rick was the one who invented overpowered emperors in the series so that was probably a conscious decision to make it easier for Apollo.

The soonest would be immediately after The Hidden Oracle, where Nero could supply help to Commodus since he would know that would be Apollo and Meg's destination.

This one would be short because this is an equally open-ended question.

But if they actually helped each other first, things don't look good for Apollo or the demigods.

They might spare the demigods for the specific purpose of ruling over them.

If they continued to share their victory, then their empire is still split three ways.

If they decided to go all civil war, then as the first two triumvirates of Roman history went, the weakest go down first and the main two hash it over a lot of battles.

Caligula would still have Medea, so he has the means of magic.

And Nero would still have Python. Tbh, not sure if that snake even has powers of prophecy. But either way, Python was Nero's ally from the beginning.

I'd say the only thing stopping the triumvirate from complete control is once again, Olympus itself.

Especially if Meg's alive and inspires everyone to avenge Jason and Apollo.

Bonus~

Caligula as the sole emperor includes paranoia that someone betrays him since he was originally killed by his own guards. He might be able to rule the people as well as he did when he first became emperor (back in ancient Rome, the first few months of his rule he was well-loved until he became ill). If anything else, you can count on the yachts being his palace. Incitatus might be by his side because they might part ways since Incitatus wants horses to rule the world in the books. Caligula might renovate New Rome to his liking and upgrade it with his personal wealth.

Commodus as sole emperor involves Commodianapolis and a football stadium where he can host games. A lot of wealth being poured into grandeur, parties, and Commodus' name and likeness everywhere.

Nero as sole emperor means the Imperial Household is there to stay. From what I gather, there are twelve children to replace the twelve Olympians. I don't they're exactly all are children/legacies, but I could be wrong. Either way, Nero has them to help him enforce the rules. He has his tower and he's conveniently near Olympus and Camp Half-blood. He could decide to expand in Manhattan and Long Island.

[nicnacsnonsense]

Okay so this is going to be part Good Omens meta, part head canon, all ramble, but I promise I have a point. Well, technically it’s a question, but I am going somewhere with this; there’s just going to be a lot of pit stops and detours along the way.

We’re starting with Crowley. I know Aziraphale’s the soft one, but Crowley’s pretty soft for a demon. He’s not a total cuddly marshmallow like I see him portrayed as sometimes – he does seem to genuinely enjoy the “annoying people” parts of his job. Though even then he doesn’t seem to enjoy the annoyance for its own sake as much as the fact that it represents he has been successful; what he really seems to enjoy is the cleverness and artistry of it – the way he describes knocking out the telephone systems in the book is like a beautiful symphony of irritation. (Actually it’s weird to me that Hastur and Ligur’s method of chipping away at one soul at a time for years is called craftmanship while Crowley’s method is presented as a matter of efficiency. Like H&L are over here making artisanal meals with only the finest ingredients while Crowley is slinging out fast food burgers. Because to me Crowley’s method seems the one that takes more consideration and skill and is, taken for what it is, a thing of beauty, whereas H&L thing just seems like blunt-force trauma. I’m sorry you sat on this guy’s shoulder whispering in his ear for ten years in order to win his soul over? Unless he’s literally Job or Jesus Christ, I’m not impressed.) Crowley isn’t a total marshmallow, but he is soft. He’s not cruel or sadistic and he doesn’t like seeing people get genuinely hurt or killed. Now when other demons are sadistic, he doesn’t like it, but he seems to largely accept it as the way things are. When Heaven does terrible things, he seems kind of disgusted but not terribly surprised. But when it’s the humans or God doing terrible things, that’s what hits him hard. For slightly different reasons in each case, but ultimately it boils down to “I thought you were better than this,” and he cannot emotionally handle it when they prove they aren’t.

Moving on to Aziraphale (I promise we’ll come back to our soft demon boi in a minute). There’s a lot of different takes out there about how book Aziraphale differs from show Aziraphale, but the most compelling one I’ve ever seen argues that it’s not so much that Aziraphale is inherently different as it is Heaven is different in the two versions, which in turn impacts how Aziraphale behaves. In the book Heaven shows up on three occasions: when Aziraphale calls Heaven and speaks with the Metatron, when Aziraphale accidentally gets himself beamed up to Heaven (which could be considered a continuation of the same event), and at the airbase to try to restart the Apocalypse. In all of these cases either Aziraphale reached out to Heaven first or his presence was incidental to Heaven showing up. The general implication is that no one is checking in on him really; he has his own personal loyalty and sense of duty to Heaven urging him to do what they expect of him, but unless he’s really blatant about it, no one’s going to know if he breaks the rules here and there. Book Aziraphale’s life is basically one long “who you are in the dark” test, with the plot twist at the end where he flicks on the lights switch and flips everyone off while he does the thing he wasn’t supposed to because it turns out that was the right thing to do all along.

By contrast in the show Heaven is showing up all the time. Aziraphale is dragged up there multiple times for reports, archangels are constantly popping down to Earth to talk with him, and they actually proactively uncover Aziraphale’s involvement with Crowley. Granted, we can assume this is a higher than normal rate of involvement because of the fast-approaching Apocalypse, but the point remains that show Aziraphale is dealing with a lot more oversight. If he breaks the rules, there is a good chance he will be caught, and even if he just does something perfectly allowed but considered to be unbefitting an angel, he will be met with scorn and disapproval. That’s why show Aziraphale is more anxious, less likely to break any rules, and more cautious if he does so.

An extension of this difference in how Heaven behaves that I haven’t seen mentioned before, is it impacts how Aziraphale perceives Hell to be. Aziraphale doesn’t have any real firsthand experience of Hell, so he has to make inferences as far as what they’re like to work for. His main two sources of information are going to be what Heaven tells him – likely to be sparse and often inaccurate – and what Crowley tells him – honestly also likely to be sparse and often inaccurate. Obviously, Crowley knows what working for Hell is like, and there are probably some areas that he’s willing to be fairly open and straight-forward about. But when it comes to things like punishments for failure or disobedience, Crowley’s going to spend most of the time evading and downplaying with occasional bits of shocking honesty to make a point and blatant overexaggerations for dramatic effect. With limited information to go on, Aziraphale is forced to use what Heaven’s like and extrapolate from there. And since the book and show versions have two such different starting points, even if book Aziraphale concludes Hell is more overbearing than book Heaven and show Aziraphale concludes Hell is less thorough on following up than show Heaven, they are still going to come to very different conclusions as to how present and aware of what Crowley is up to Hell is. Which is relevant because not only is show Aziraphale dealing with a Heaven that is more like to catch misbehavior, he also perceives Hell as being more aware and therefore Crowley more likely to be caught and punished than book Aziraphale does.

Circling back to Crowley and his emotional upset at the cruelties of the world. The reason we had to talk about Aziraphale is because how he behaves has an impact on how Crowley copes. Now with the book we don’t have our “a love 6000 years in the making” backstory, and Crowley and Aziraphale are just generally less prominent than they are in the show, which means we have less to go on. The only real reference we get is Crowley’s reaction to the Spanish Inquisition. He gets a commendation for it without having done anything, goes to take a look, and then gets drunk for a week. This would imply that drinking is how he handles these sorts of things, but I don’t think we’re getting the full story here. I say think because this is the most head canon-y part of all this; I don’t have any real evidence other than if you assume this is true then it does explain some things I’ll get to in a minute. The book tells us that after looking in on the Inquisition Crowley “had come back and got drunk for a week.” But back to where? The implication is back to the cantinas in the nicer parts of Spain where he had been before going for his look, but I think he went back to Aziraphale (who may very well have already been in the cantinas with him anyway). Because honestly, an actual literal demon with actual literal snake eyes getting shitfaced drunk in the middle of the Spanish Inquisition, knowing full well he’ll melt into a puddle of goo and die if anyone even sprinkles any holy water on him, is pretty fucking stupid. But if that demon had an actual literal angel watching over him… Aziraphale is by nature a guardian/protector, and in the book he isn’t constantly concerned about their relationship being discovered. I think over time Crowley has learned that if he needs to fall apart or be vulnerable for a while, he can go to Aziraphale and rely on Aziraphale watching over him and supporting him until he’s ready to pull himself back together again.

Show Aziraphale does not have the same freedom as his book counterpart, and so cannot always reliably be there for Crowley in the same way. Which is not a dig on Aziraphale at all; he’s in a different situation where he has to be focused on keeping them safe from their superiors, so he simply does not have the additional emotional capacity sometimes, and that’s not his fault. Despite that, Crowley does still get the emotional support he needs from Aziraphale, it just has to function in a different way.

Our episode 3 cold open lets us watch this develop quite well. Our first two scenes (aside from the one with God asking about the sword, obviously) are Noah’s Ark and the crucifixion, where we see Crowley approach Aziraphale to essentially needle him about what’s going on. At this point Aziraphale isn’t so much support as someone he can redirect his anger toward – I assume this is how Book Omens started too, and we’ll get to the divergence in a second. Crowley is willing to drop the anger with Aziraphale much faster in the crucifixion scene, suggesting they have grown closer over the intervening 3000 years, and Crowley no longer finds as much emotional catharsis in being angry at Aziraphale, but he continues to approach Aziraphale that way out of habit.

Then we get to Rome, where Crowley has, according to the script book, come to town to tempt Caligula only to be shocked and upset when he learns how very much Caligula doesn’t need tempting. Crowley goes to a bar where Aziraphale happens to be – whether he knew Aziraphale was there or not before he arrived is irrelevant, but I am assuming he was aware of Aziraphale’s presence by the time he walked in the door. And here is where book and show diverge. Because Crowley has approached Aziraphale about things he’s been upset about in the past, but it’s one thing to needle an angel about things Heaven is responsible for; it’s quite another to walk up to your crush and just start complaining about some jerk who’s put you in a bad mood. Book Crowley, who has been dealing with a slightly more relaxed Aziraphale, says fuck it, goes and sits down across from him and says, “You would not believe the day I’ve had.” And from there we develop into the dynamic mentioned previously for Book Omens.

As mentioned, show Aziraphale is more anxious about their relationship, resulting in show Crowley falling on the other side of this choice and not approaching Aziraphale. This leaves it to Aziraphale to approach Crowley this time. Now as much as we may tease, Aziraphale’s not actually an idiot. He can tell Crowley is upset about something, and he’s picked up on the pattern where when Crowley is upset, he likes to be able rant a bit about Heaven. Obviously Aziraphale can sometimes find those conversations uncomfortable, but he’s feeling good today, so he’s happy to engage in some banter, especially if it’ll cheer his friend up. But Crowley’s the one who usually starts the conversation, so Aziraphale wracks his brain for something he can say about the nature of good and evil and ineffability and comes up with “Still a demon, then?” Shockingly, this doesn’t work. Still he keeps the conversation going and tries again with “Oh well, let me tempt you to... Oh, no, that's, that's your job, isn't it?” This still doesn’t work the way he’s expecting it to, but they do have a very nice meal and a good conversation that’s not really about Heaven and Hell at all, after which Crowley seems to be in much better spirits. Which leads him to the conclusion that it’s not the specifics that are important, just the fact of having the conversation and giving something Crowley to distract himself with.

Skipping ahead to the Globe, two quick things to point out. This is the first time we see Crowley do his little circle of Aziraphale, proving that by this point they established the dynamic where Crowley protects Aziraphale. The second is this is also the first time Aziraphale really intentionally uses his puppy dog eyes on Crowley, meaning their acts of service dynamic is established as well. Knowing these have been established helps inform the decisions Aziraphale makes in the Bastille scene.

Bastille scene. We can assume everything about this incident is something Aziraphale has staged, from actually getting arrested to his claims that he can’t rescue himself because he was reprimanded for too many frivolous miracles. I will say I don’t think that last one is a complete fabrication; I think either that it is something that has happened, but a good while ago such that he’s not worried about it anymore, or it did just happen, but Aziraphale actually had been using an unusually large amount of miracles recently – possibly as part of getting his bookshop set up – and has since dialed it back enough that he can use one or two at the Bastille, be it to free himself or just to change his clothing, without getting in trouble. However, while I do think it was staged, I don’t think the primary propose was to indulge in Aziraphale’s damsel in distress fantasies; that was just an unexpected bonus. Aziraphale’s main objective was helping Crowley.

Aziraphale knew about the French Revolution, knew Crowley was in the area, and knew Crowley was liable to find the whole situation upsetting. His response was to put on his prettiest outfit, and get himself locked up. He’s broadcasting to Crowley, don’t worry about the humans, just focus on me, don’t think about what they’re doing, just look at the silly angel all chained over here in need of rescue. Of course this isn’t completely divorced from the current situation, but in a way that’s actually better, because it takes that situation and lowers the stakes – Aziraphale isn’t going to die, worse case scenario he’ll just get discorporated – and puts Crowley back in control of the situation – he can’t stop the Revolution, even if he’s capable he’d be risking too much trouble with Hell if he tried, but he can save Aziraphale and fly under Hell’s radar while doing it. Basically, we’ve taken the “Crowley needs a distraction” conclusion Aziraphale came to back in Rome and refined it in the intervening 1750 years.

Even Aziraphale’s suspicions that Crowley is behind the whole revolution can be seen as an extension of the indirect comfort he’s offering. He knows that Crowley is going to have to tell Hell that he is behind all this stuff that’s upsetting him, so when Aziraphale accuses him of the very same, it gives Crowley an opportunity and a safe place to assert that, no, he is not responsible. And not just to say it, but to say it and have someone believe him, that it isn’t his fault and he would never do anything really terrible like this.

This gives us the final form of how Show Omens dynamic works. Instead of offering Crowley a safe haven, Aziraphale emotionally supports Crowley by offering him opportunities to be the savior.

What’s especially interesting about this is if we take these two different dynamics, where in Book Omens Aziraphale serves as Crowley’s safe haven and in Show Omens Crowley is Aziraphale’s savior, that actually explains four of the big differences between the book and show: Crowley’s reaction to being called nice, Crowley crossing the M25 with optimism vs imagination, the whole run away with me subplot, and Crowley’s post bookshop fire reaction.

A demon being called nice is a pretty risky thing for the demon in question. As Crowley points out during his and Aziraphale’s conversation in Eden, a demon can get in a lot of trouble for doing the right thing, and I can’t imagine being accused of being nice would work out much better for him. But book Crowley is used to being vulnerable like that around Aziraphale. He still snaps at Aziraphale when he says it, because Crowley is stressed out and right now is not the time for that, but it is ultimately an established part of their relationship dynamic so it really only annoys him. By contrast, in the show a lot of Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship is built around avoiding saying those things for their own safety. Given that, it’s no wonder his negative reaction would be more extreme.

There’s a whole long meta out there about how both Crowley’s are optimists, but in different ways (and if someone knows where to find it, please let me know so I can link it). Book Crowley is a more passive sort of optimism; he just generally believes that eventually things will work out for him. This is consistent with the way he handles it when he’s upset about things; he just goes to hang out with Aziraphale, lets himself be upset for a while, eventually it passes, and he’s good to go again. Whereas show Crowley has a more active sort of optimism, believing things can and will work out fine, as long as he steps up to make it happen. Again, this ties into how he deals with being upset; he goes out and does something about it. Granted, he’s not usually fixing the actual problem itself, but he’s being active related to what’s upsetting him, e.g. he can’t stop WWII, but he can go save Aziraphale from some Nazi spies. So when book Crowley drives through the M25 he has his optimism that things are going to work out as sort of a default mental state in his head, and it turns out The Secret really does work for demons so he gets through. Meanwhile show Crowley is actively applying himself to believing the car is fine, and that’s what pulls him through.

This passive/active difference also explains the addition of the “we could go off together” subplot in the show. Despite being more passive, book Crowley is not complacent; when they realize Warlock is not the antichrist, he and Aziraphale make efforts to find the real one. But when their initial search runs dry and they both agree the best thing to do is to have each of their “networks of human agents” look for the boy, Crowley is willing to step back and wait. Either one of their agents will find the kid or something else will turn up; somehow it’ll all work out. Show Crowley can’t do that. He can be optimistic that things will somehow work out, but not if he’s not doing something to fix it. Except there’s nothing else he can do to solve this problem, and when he can’t solve a problem his default is to instead save Aziraphale. The world is going to go up in flames, so Alpha Centauri it is then.

And now the one everyone loves to talk about: the bookshop fire. “Aha!” you said twenty minutes ago and then patiently waited for my rambling to get back to this point. “Aha! There is a flaw in your logic; after the bookshop fire it is book Crowley that copes by getting up and saving things, whereas show Crowley gets drunk and has an emotional breakdown.” But what you didn’t realize, gentle reader, is I already solved that problem weeks ago (this meta took a lot longer to write up than I was expecting). In fact, it’s not a problem at all, but further proof of these dynamics. Because after the bookshop fire, Aziraphale is gone. Aziraphale is gone, which means Crowley’s normal coping strategies don’t work. Book Crowley can’t have a breakdown about Aziraphale being gone precisely because Aziraphale is gone; he’s lost his safe space. So instead he just has to keep pushing forward and he’ll figure out how to deal with the rest of it later. Meanwhile show Crowley can’t save Aziraphale if Aziraphale is dead, and lacking that distraction, he has a breakdown.

Now that I’ve gone on for an obscenely long time about the different dynamics of book Crowley the protected vs. show Crowley the protector, I’m going to say that the specifics of how they are different aren’t ultimately that important. At least not in comparison to the way in which they’re the same. Despite how very different Heavens (and in theory a very different Hells could have a similar sort of impact) changed the details of their relationship dynamics, in both the book and the show, Crowley leans on Aziraphale for emotional support to deal with trauma. (As a side note, I don’t want to imply that this is a one-way relationship. Aziraphale also receives emotional support from Crowley; I’m just not touching on that now because I have to draw the line somewhere.) And that emotional support is a key factor in what makes Crowley different from other demons.

Obviously, we can see how being stuck in Hell would have made Crowley a worse person – though I use the word worse lightly here, as I think it’s very likely that rather than getting meaner for being stuck in Hell, Crowley would develop a learned helplessness. But even if Crowley was on Earth, being on Earth without that emotional support would have eventually had a huge negative impact on him and his attitudes and behavior. Because seeing humans being cruel to each other hurts him, and with no way to process that hurt, it would keep building up until eventually he would have to retreat into apathy to protect himself. But where the apathy of a Hell-residing Crowley would be underpinned by a sense of hopelessness because cruelty from demons is just what he expects, the apathy of an Earth-residing Crowley would have underneath it a lot of anger and betrayal. He did expect better of them, and they let him down time and time again until he stopped seeing the good in them. This betrayal-fueled apathy is the recipe for getting a Crowley that presents as a stereotypical demon, selfish and cruel.

And now finally we reach the point. All of this, all 3767 words of it (well, most of it) was all just context building up to this question: what the fuck did Heaven and Hell do to Crowley and Aziraphale in the 1992 script version?

[ravenoftheskyes]

The Caligula Effect propaganda hours because people are vaguely talking about it in relation to other things.

So, what is The Caligula Effect? (I’ll refer to it as TCE sometimes under the cut!)

TCE is a game that’s similar to Persona 5 Royal’s Third Semester. Except the one creating the perfect world is… Hatsune Miku!

Ha, just kidding. She’s a Vocaloid knockoff, that’s for sure. A lovely Virtuadoll named μ. (pronounced Mu)

μ had a partner named Aria. The two Virtuadolls swam through the internet, the realm known as the Metaverse-Es. (This came out before Persona 5, I swear.)

μ and Aria saw all the grief, sadness, all the terrible things about reality that people put out onto the internet. And they thought that reality must be nothing but pain, right?

So they created Mobius. The eternal loop. Three years of high school, you repeat them over and over for the rest of your life.

And they grant all of your wishes.

It’s perfect, right? But what if you wanted to leave?

That’s where Aria and μ split.

Aria wanted people to be able to leave, but μ didn’t. She thought the real world was nothing but pain. She just wanted to wipe their memories and make Mobius even better.

So Aria was thrown from ruler status, shrunk to Chibi size, and is doomed to wander Mobius forever.

And that’s where you come in!

A few years later, your protagonist awakens to the realities of Mobius.

The Male Protagonist’s name is Ritsu Shikishima

The Female Protagonist… she doesn’t exactly have a name.

Also, there’s a female protag in this game! …Well, in the remake at least. The Caligula Effect: Overdose.

So Aria runs into ya, you’re traumadumping to a pixie-sized Vocaloid, and you gain superpowers based off trauma. If only life worked like that!

So you get two very cool guns, and you start a stellar as hell combat system. My only complaint is that it can sometimes be too easy, but I do hope they fix that in the sequel! (Coming out in October, hopefully)

Now I’m not the best at explaining combat, but basically each character has three actions per turn, and cooldown times for skills.

The game is based off chaining attacks.

For example, the Protagonist could spam their basic attack, Dual Trigger, three times.

Or, if the enemy has a shield up, they could use their Shadow Pierce to break the shield and launch the enemies. Then another team member, like Shogo, could use his Gunslinger attack to hit the enemy while they’re in the air and deal massive damage to those pesky Digiheads.

Also, the enemies in this game are called Digiheads. They’ve been brainwashed by μ’s song and are trying to kill you because you know that Mobius isn’t real and are trying to leave, and therefore you’re heretics in their eyes.

And that leads me to the main conflict of the game. You’re trying to escape Mobius with the help of Aria and the Go-Home club, and you’re up against the Ostinato Musicians.

The Go-Home club is a hell of a team, they’re not exactly friends at first but through the course of the game, you bond with them and they bond with you.

This game was in fact written by some writers who worked on Persona 1 and Persona 2, and this game has something called Character Episodes. They’re kind of like social links, except there’s no time-management aspect and you unlock more ranks as you 1. Level up their friendship level with you by having them participate in combat, and 2. Progress through the story. The Go-Home club has amazing development and there are characters you might hate at first, but then you go through their character episodes and end up loving them.

The Ostinato Musicians are fairly one-note villains at first, so why should you care about them?

The Musician Route, that’s why!

Some time after the second arc, you run into the mysterious conductor, Thorn. She tells you that you could also see another side. Play both of them. Be a Musician and a Go-Home club member. You know the people who just can’t stay, why not get to know the people that just can’t go?

And I’m telling you right now, that’s the biggest and best feature that the enhanced re-release added. You get to know the villains better than the surface. You get Character Episodes with them. You play both sides. And then at the end, you betray one side.

Fight to return home, or fight to stay. That is the question.

Mobius or Reality?

That’s your choice.

Also, the soundtrack is a goddamn banger. Popular Vocaloid composers were hired to write this soundtrack, like cosMo@Bousou-P (The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku) or Deco*27 (Ghost Rule). It just has that Vocaloid feel.

This game as a hell of a lot of love in it, and while the first game might have flopped, they’re still making a sequel! They made an anime. They made a self-cover album with all the Musicians VAs singing the songs their characters composed.

Though, quick warning, there is one canonically trans character and she faces a lot of transphobia throughout the game. There’s also a lesbian but she doesn’t face much homophobia in the game.

In summary, this game is lovely, amazing, and just all around brilliant. Please give it a chance, it has a slow as hell start, but it’s just so amazing, and it’s one of my all-time favorite games.

[archivalofsins]

Let's talk about Caligula Effect 2 and Milgram again today~ Though this may not make much sense or be hard to follow. Because still sick so I'm just typing stuff honestly.

I really like Cocoa #QP. She reminds me a lot of Mahiru. I've also finished Doktor's fight. To be fair I might have been a bit over leveled for it. So, he went down pretty easy. Yet, that's not the only reason I'm here.

I'm actually here to discuss how people put themselves and others into boxes and how that's impacted Milgram. This is something discussed over the course of Gin Noto's character story. Mostly showcasing how sometimes not having an exact box to fit into can cause a person emotional distress or to feel alienated.

There's discussion to be had around how labels and boxes are a way for some to foster not only a sense of community but a sense of self. Tangent I feel that this is why Caligula Effect 2 is very hit and miss for me because most of the lessons in it are things I already know. Plus, the narrative can be a bit more on the nose and leading than it was in the first game.

Something that makes a bit of sense consider how the first one was received. However, I tend to like the first games and Milgram's way of letting the audience draw it's own conclusions. Being put in a position where one has to think for themselves, and they only have themselves to blame for the conclusions they've drawn is far more invigorating to me then having everything spelled out for me. All nice and neat.

Yet, even though Caligula Effect 2 is very heavy handed in my opinion and this makes the characters rather grating in certain areas. There were still things that I feel went over a lot of people's head. That I feel Yamanaka is striving to hone in on through Milgram.

That thing being bias and idolization. Because the player is with the Go Home Club and those are the characters who the player gets to know through character episodes the audience leaves Caligula Effect 2 feeling more sympathetic for the Go Home Club members while it's far easier to ostracize and other the musicians.

The Go Home Club members direct parallels. Even easier for one to downplay how the Go Home Club members threat these other people within the narrative because through playing you learn more about these characters and feel as though you have adequate explanations for their behavior and the times they do end up lashing out.

The Go Home Club members end up lashing out a lot. In very unjustified ways where it's clear that they are taking out anger they hold towards themselves and their own personal situations out on the musicians. Hell Kiriko, flat out admits she did this to the second musician we fight. The only redeemable thing in that encounter is the fact that Kiriko and Pandora are doing the same thing in that instance projecting personal issues on the other party.

However, this continues to be a consistent issue the Go Home Club Members have when encountering the musicians moving forward. The most egregious examples of this being Mu-kun and Gin Noto in my opinion because Gin just hates on this guy and trash talks all his dreams when the dude is genuinely curious about why we want to leave.

Something not really fixed in my opinion by the implication that Gin was a fan of their music or them later. Like the treatment Mu-kun faces is so undeserved that the plot literally pulls a Deus Ex Machina to have him forget the last seven days entirely. Because he's still rightfully mad and doesn't give a fuck about Gin's apology after everything that occurred.

Because people don't need to be nice to you after you take all your personal frustrations out on them. Turning this whole ass other person with feelings into an object for you to release your hate and anger out on for a cheap bit of a catharsis is dick behavior and no one has to accept and I'm sorry about that after it's done to them. Just because someone is having a bad time doesn't mean it's okay for them to make someone else's time bad.

Yet, this isn't really something I've heard discussed when it comes to Caligula Effect 2. No one has gone yeah that was a very rude way for them to consistently treat the musicians. In fact I've been streaming it and most of the stream I've been a bit on edge because I've been seeing these assholes do asshole things. Yet, I keep being told there will be something that will excuse it later you'll find out why it was actually okay they treated people like this later.

While every part of me is like yeah I don't think there's much that excuses this behavior. I don't think there's one damn infallible reason to treat another person struggling with their own things the way I've seen these people treat others. While the game is completely showcasing that it is not okay to treat others like this regardless of what you have going on.

Through characters like Sasara, Shota, and literally how most of the group reacts to Gin's behavior in the planetarium with the same distaste and drawing of attention to the change in attitude that was shown towards Mifue's behavior during the Sweet-P incident. Like why are you so mad this isn't like you.

Yet, again because people have grown to know these characters through playing the game benefit of the doubt is immediately extended to them and a us vs them mindset is formed. Giving off this feeling of how could you be sympathizing with the musicians. How could you feel this treatment is out of place? I mean it kind of is but they have their reasons.

Cool what if those reasons don't justify in anyway how they treat others and by extension themselves to me? What if it is my personal belief that regardless of what goes on in someone's life they shouldn't make whipping boys out of themselves and those around them. What if childishly I believe living this way is unhealthy and unproductive? What if it's not excusable to me to deny yourself and those around you happiness simply because you've taught yourself to hate yourself without measure for one reason or another.

What if for as much as I understand where the mentality is coming from I'm at a point where I recognize that is not an excuse for how that mentality impacted others and at points could have done irreversible harm if someone didn't intervene? Which it gets to that point a few times actually.

Well, that's when the bias that Caligula Effect 2 seeks to highlight comes in. This is highlighted first through the glorification and idolizations of the original go home club and μ by X. What can a person defend just because they have a good relationship with someone. Just because they're someone's kid. How willing are they to assume the worst of everyone around them because everybody is someone pulling down the name of their favorite person.

Is enough for them to not care for humans without even knowing much about them? Is it enough for them to break into someone's else's mundane everyday- Dragging that person back to reality because they need the help. Because they need to prove mom didn't cause this and the mean humans need to stop blaming her for everything. How much is it worth to crush someone else's dream? How far are people willing to go to get what they want and does it matter what they do to get there? Do the ends justify the means?

Possessing someone else's body without warning making it so if the one did that were to die that person would die too. None of that matters. Talking all this good shit about people she doesn't even know lauding them on high just because of what mommy told you. The first go home club members were good people- That's a funny thing to just say without any firsthand knowledge. Mommy said so and that's enough? She doesn't even know these heroes that saved the world and showed her mom the error of her ways or what it took to get to that point.

Yet, X created this silly fairy tale of grandeur and good intentions. How childish and gross. I hope she grows up one day~ Then we get to the root of the issue with Doktor-

"I'd care more about one of you being sad than a bunch of humans I barely know."

Ingroup bias. Or basic favoritism. People are more likely to be kinder to those they view as being on their side and do more for those they view as emotionally important. Sound familiar-

"“Throw down”, someone’s value cannot be the same as another. “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority."

This person is more important simply because I will it to be so. I think it therefore it is. I feel that they're more important therefore they are. Of course they had their reason for behaving in this way. I know this person well enough to say it was justified. I know them well enough to know they're good/can be good.

I don't want to questions if they've just been good to me, if they could be wrong, if someone could be a victim to them. Because that would mean I don't know a good person when I see one that would mean I could be bias. That would mean I could forgive something unforgivable if it was just attached to a person I liked- Oh, well that's just Milgram isn't it?

That's just like Milgram except instead of holding your hand to that conclusion Yamanaka is watching you leap towards it willingly this time. Because bias hurts. Bias is inherently unempathetic. Because bias will always create an us against them scenario. A Go Home Club in oppossition to musicians. It's much easier for the human brain to frame those in direct oppossition to them as wrong regardless of how polite they're being about it. Regardless of if they're about to be physically assaulted in front of you. Hell even if they were on your own side but it turns out cutting them down happens to be an easier way to your goal.

It came up in one that we were crushing peoples dreams. That there were people who could only get their happiness in Mobius. That there were possibly hundreds of thousands of people who could not do the things they could do within here in the real world. Without much pause and completely recognizing this was the case the first go home club continued forward with what they wanted. Because the only thing worth crushing another's dreams is a dream of one's own. Fact is if anyone wants to go home they have to come to terms with the fact that the dreams of some of these people are things that are absolutely impossible in reality.

That sort of person would have to constantly spit in the faces of those who may want to stay here to do that. Spit in the faces of the people this world was made for even. Never once discussing how easy it is to face reality when a person has one to go back to at all and never touching on the people who may not. At least as far as I know right now that's not happening but it might. Again in one we talk about this tentatively and the go home club feels bad but ultimately decides to leave because it's what they want to do. However, their is recognition of our own desires conflicting with and ruining the wishes of others.

Because virtual or real the reality is when it comes to the wishes of others someone is always getting the short end of the stick. Because not everyone's wishes can come true. Sometimes one person's wish conflicts with another's. Because of this there can never be a world without regrets. Because sometimes one person's happiness can be another persons misfortune. That can be a regret in itself.

Yet, that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive towards what will make us happy. Just because things are like that doesn't give anyone the right to step on others and end their lives just because they were having such a hard time. That's not fair, that isn't right. Everyone is having a hard time what makes this hard time so different from anyone else's? What makes it forgivable.

The only thing that does is that feeling in people's chest that tells them that they know this person. That there's good in this person that they have their reasons. The reasons they've projected on them, the reasons they can sympathize with, the reasons that make it all make sense in their book. Yet, those reason come at the expense of someone else's good name, someone else's life. It comes at the expense of dehumanizing someone in the worst way making them out to be a problem that needed solving instead of a person that was deserving of the exact same consideration being shown to the people that hurt them.

No one is above bias and that's why sin isn't easy. Milgram shouldn't be easy. It's not meant to be easy. People aren't easy- Relationships not only to individuals but groups aren't easy. Because easy things are painful. Easy things ignore the intricacies of a situation that people are usually suffering under.

Easy puts the fault on individuals instead of systems. Easy says the Go Home Club Members and the Milgram characters had to repond how they did because life was hard on them. They didn't have a choice. Conveniently without ever touching on why life was hard, if it had to be, who made it that way, the services and systems that failed these people over and over. Because why change the way things have always been when one can just put it on the individual to save themselves and choose whether or not that's forgivable or not later. Why think about it any harder when we can wait for a crime to happen and then administer the punishment?

Let's keep it simple. Sure they couldn't hack in their environment but others could so they're the odd ones here. Let's just have the punishment fit the crime and if I can forgive I can forgive. No need to think more deeply of it. That's how this has always worked. That's how Milgram is. It's how people are giving excuses to those they biasely like and having no mercy for those they don't. Be more bias because that's the best way to make it hurt more.

None of this is meant to be easy. Honestly, if it is for anyone then chances are they just haven't thought about it enough. Because bias isn't all fun and games. When a person is bias the only thing that comes from it is pain regardless of how positively or negatively they view someone/something. There are boxes and there are cages bias is a cage that doesn't help anyone.

[ask-the-arisato-twins]

Okay but, you know what I really like? Bad endings that stem from the protag wanting their friends/Themselves to be happy, but they go about it in a terrible way. I’m talking bout like

-P3’s bad end, where everyone forgets everything and is happy until they die.

-P4’s bad end, which has Yu support Adachi because he cares about him.

-P5’s bad ends, which both stem from a desire to just give Akiren’s friends a lovely and easy happy life.

-The Caligula Effect, which stems from a desire to have everyone (mostly the Protag) live happily in Mobius.

-The JFA Ace attorney bad ending, which had Phoenix do the wrong thing because he wanted Maya to survive.

so that’s why I made that really dramatic TMSFE ending where Itsuki really just wants his friends to be appreciated for who they are and not just for their talents. TMSFE was in dire need of a bad ending.

I just love it so much bc like. It shows that they truly care about their friends/happiness, but they just want them to be happy without taking their emotions into consideration. What if they don’t want a false reality?

But also. Think of the Twins being slowly lifted from the forgetfulness by their friends realizing that something is wrong and that they need to take Nyx down.

Think of Akiren’s friends realizing the false reality and pulling him free, making him realize that his twisted and distorted desires shouldn’t define him, and that he needs to stick it out in the real world.

Think of Yu’s friends dragging him from the fog. Helping him realize that Adachi isn’t a good person. Helping him realize that Adachi isn’t worthy of Yu throwing his life and the world away.

Think of Itsuki’s friends surviving. Think of them destroying Medeus. Think of them showing him the good side of the idol industry. Think of them learning to forgive him.

Think of (this is my name for The Caligula Effect protag) Mizuki’s friends convincing Mu to release everyone anyway. Think of them meeting her in reality. Think of them helping her to realize that there’s worth in the real world.

Think of Maya telling him that it’s not over. They can still get Engarde. They can still get justice.

And now think of the angsty scenarios.

SEES realizing what the twins did and shunning them. Kicking their asses before they die. Asking why they would do something like this?!

Yu not being able to keep a secret from his partner. Yosuke punching him and saying that they weren’t partners anymore because why would he do this?! Why?!

Akechi breaking free from the false reality. Realizing what Akiren did. Shaking him, screaming, yelling at him. Asking him why he didn’t listen.

Aria catching up to Mizuki. Spilling her guts, yelling how much she hates Mizuki for what she’s done. Saying that she hopes Mizuki is happy before she goes down. Just asking Why?!

The Fortuna Crew screaming at Itsuki. Crying, begging, asking Why? Why would you do this?! We could have been happy! Or better yet, screaming Fuck you! I can’t believe I cared about you! You’re disgusting! I’ll see you in hell!

Maya cursing Phoenix’s name. She told him! She told him, goddamn it! She told him not to get that verdict just to save her. She would have willingly died if it meant getting that bastard in prison. So WHY THE HELL WOULD HE DO THAT?!

And all of them have one answer.

I did it for the people I love, goddamn it!

[phantaloon-books]

I finally read The Tyrant's Tomb and boi I loved this one so much, so here's some my opinion on it (they're not in chronological order)

warning, this is long af and sorry for cursing a bit, I can't help it

Apollo's character arc is lowkey one of the best Rick has written, I'm sorry if you don't agree, but he's gone from wanting others to solve his problems and relying on the halfbloods to intentionally avoiding others doing things for him, volunteering for the quests and saying it should be him that faces the terrible stuff so that demigods and other creatures don't suffer

something really interesting is how his perception of himself has changed, and it's almost worrying how genuinely self depreciating his inner dialogue is, because he no longer sees himself as mighty Apollo, he sees himself as worthless and useless Lester, and his narration is highkey depressing

Also, Apollo disliking and being somewhat disgusted of the god he used to be, realizing the horrible things he had done and how horrible he was and that he looked worse as the former Apollo than as Lester, regretting things he'd done, that's top tier development

(I'm sorry but I love the entire scene with the ravens, the part where he just screams "I'm sorry" it feels as if he isn't just apologizing to the ravens, but to everyone who's been affected by what he's done as a selfish god)

Reyna so openly turning down and laughing at Apollo for suggesting they be together is my favorite thing ever lmao I couldn't stop laughing, like she knew what gods can do if you turn them down (even if it was just mortal Lester) and she didn't give a damn, it was so fucking funny

people say Rick only includes diversity for the sake of including it and to gain popularity, but I still enjoy the fact that he does, because as a teacher he must have had all kinds of students of all religions, colors and sexualities, he includes diversity because he's seen diversity. anyway my point is I love that we have Lavinia, a Jewish lesbian from a Russian family, and she's not ashamed of being any of them

I'm sorry I just love Apollo so much, I've grown to respect him so much, and even if Hermes once said them gods often forget their oaths and promises, I have a feeling Apollo won't ever forget Jason's request that he never forgets what's it like to be mortal

Frank still admiring Apollo despite everything, and despite the fact that he looks like a messed up teen makes me go all uwu

Frank being portrayed as this clumsy and awkward kid but also this powerful and brave leader is my favorite thing ever because I think Frank is underrated and I dare to say that he's one of the strongest demigods we've ever met, even stronger than some of the nig three children

the whole thing about the undead army is honestly so creepy, especially when we see it from Apollo's perspective cause se him slowly succumb to the venom's effect, and that part in Tarquin's tomb where he "calls Lester to be part of his undead" was genuinely disturbing, at least to me

some books in the past have touched the part of the nature spirits not being given enough attention, but I really enjoyed how Apollo comes to realize that he only worries about demigods and gods when all lives are worth the same - mortals, halfbloods, nature spirits, gods, and even monsters

again, I love Apollo's arc, it's just AHH he's becoming so caring of life it just makes me happy

Reyna choosing herself to make herself happy is everything, and inspiring to every single woman who is told by others that they need someone to be happy, I just love it, because self love is the most important love of all

I haven't said anything about it, but man I love Meg and Apollo's friendship, they just care so much for each other, Meg who's so scared of losing her loved ones and Apollo who's so scared of not being able to be loved or to love, but they still love each other, and I'm glad it's not romantic, because yes fraternal love is also what people need, and their friendship is what they need

aurum and argentum being cute doggos rather than the steely (no pun intended) and cold dogs we met in HoO warms my heart. I don't understand why they're so cute and adorable, or maybe that's just how Apollo sees them, but they seem to act like actual dogs in this book

the fact that Reyna never confirmed nor denied being attracted to Thalia just makes me all hyped up, like we love Theyna

Apollo just gives off Eddie Brock vibes throughout the entire book and that's hilarious asf. ever since the start he's said to look like shit, feel like shit and be injured with deathly poison that will turn him to a zombie. if that isn't Venom vibes I don't know what is

I've said it once and I'll say it again, Frank Zhang is one of the strongest demigods Rick has ever introduced in a series, and him facing two immoral and godly in power emperors, burning one to death with his own life fire and injuring the other enough for Apollo to do the final kill is top tier

"If I'm going to burn, I might as well burn bright. This is for Jason." bitch actual goosebumps

We've seen countless deaths before, but something about Frank killing Caligula and Apollo killing Commodus seems so... mature I guess is the word, or well for a more mature audience. I can't describe how or why, but it feels more real, more like actual human death

I can't deal with how human Apollo seems in this book gosh I really am sorry I keep bringing this up, but I feel such warmth

the story of how Frank overcame his curse is actual BS and as much as I love Frank, it makes no sense that they spent all that time thinking of ways to keep the wood secure only for this. idk I mean id that were the case wouldn't the curse had vanished when he broke Thanatos free? he was willing to die then just like against Caligula, so why now but not then?

Don reincarnating into a laurel is peak bittersweet feeling and it actually hurt because in a camp where fauns were seen as dumb and useless, he helped Lavinia organize everything and destroy the canon things on the yachts

I'm still not over Jason's death, he really did deserve better. It makes sense, plotwise, because out of all of the huge characters from the past, Jason, Percy and Annabeth's deaths would impact others the harder, and push them to do better. And I understand that you gotta show, not even the main characters survive sometimes. Still, I'm hurt.

Thalia talking to Apollo during the funeral for the fallen campers made me actually weep. I'm not sure if it was because of Jason, or when Thalia talked about how much Artemis loves Apollo, or when Apollo "accepted" halfblood children of Zeus as his family

Also, you know who deserved better? Harpocrates, damn right he deserved better. I nearly cried when I read his death, cause he embraced it like one would an old friend in happiness. He and the Sybil deserved better. Dakota also deserved better

On the other hand, I tried so hard not to laugh at 2 am as I read Tarquin demand answers from a cat? he genuinely thought a cat would tell him where the Sybilline Books where and I couldn't handle that

This book is cruel but in a much more human way? The maiming of the pegasi wings? that's horrifying, but in such a human way, unlike what we've seen in any of the greek/roman gods series, and it's unsettling

Meg is braver than any of the other demigods were at that age (maybe excepting Nico), cause she's not embarking on a quest to retrieve an item or rescue someone or bring back their sister from the dead, she's facing her own abusive father while aiding a somewhat weak mortal in releasing the oracles and gaining godhood back. what's she getting from it all? absolutely nothing, she's gifted some seeds and she hangs out with unicorns more than other people and she's lost everything, but she's willing to lose more to help her friend. she's heroic like no one else is, because she's the first who doesn’t want anything more than being with her friend (Percy wanted whoever was taken back, Annabeth wanted to be able to be more, Nico wanted to bring back Bianca, even Bianca wanted freedom). the only other person who didn't have somewhat selfish (but kot wrong) interests while doing something heroic at a young age has been Hazel. What I mean is I love Meg and everything she does

Thalia being that chill over Jason's death bothers me so much, as if she wasn't the happiest when she found out the brother she lost 14 years ago was alive after all, and she had a part of her family back, and it was ripped from her, and Thalia is just not one to easily forget or move on from things, it's just unrealistic that she would only need a little furious session of throwing things to be okay with Jason's death as if her brother was not just taken from her all over again. it's impulsive Thalia we're talking about, who fought Percy when dealing with Annabeth going missing, it's just not her to be over his death that quickly. Sorry for Rick but I think differently

I also kinda don't like that Tyson went from being freaking General of the Cyclops, to the guy that has the Sybilline prophecies or whatever, it's important and all, but he would have been of great help during the battle and they had him waiting for help in the shrine hill like his potential went down the drain

but a thing I really loved was how different Camp Jupiter seems from Lester eyes compared from Percy's or Hazel's or Frank's perspective, it's hilarious. The other three see this place where everyone is serious and shit but Apollo just sees beyond the seriousness and it's actually refreshing, cause he's the first not to make CHB seem immature in comparison and like I said before I hated that in previous books

also Reyna laughing watered my plants, cured my depression, and made the world okay again, I just love her

all in all, this is my favorite book of ToA so far, and I'm really excited to see what's to come, and how Apollo and Meg will face Nero and Python, but more  than anything I'm looking forward to what will happen to Apollo, and whether if given the choice, he'd go back to being a selfish god or remain mortal for a while, with his newfound friends

Also I really miss Annabeth so can I please see Annabeth, I just want to see her cause she won't deal with Apollo's shit and I can't wait to see that, I miss my girl

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #241

Sun Dec 20 2020 [12:49 PM] Wack'd: Front-cover tagline is one font change away from being a Jeopardy! clue

[12:50 PM] maxwellelvis: Who is "Kang the Conqueror"? [12:51 PM] Wack'd: We open on Nick Fury showing the Four a digital map of Africa with a huge glowing spot indicating a massive power surge [12:51 PM] Umbramatic: welp [12:51 PM] Wack'd: Ben thinks "maybe the ay-rabs got some new power source" which, y'know, fun [12:51 PM] Umbramatic: oh geez [12:52 PM] Wack'd: Anyway the cover's got Black Panther on it, so naturally this surge is on the Wakandan border [12:53 PM] Wack'd: T'Challa won't let SHEILD in, and he's resigned as an Avenger, but Fury figures since the Four are old friends T'Challa might let them do some snooping [12:54 PM] Wack'd: Ben naturally is like "wait, if you're respecting Wakanda's sovereignty how did you guys flag this" [12:55 PM] Wack'd: Turns out SHEILD was following some other weird phenom and stumbled into this by accident. Said phenom turns out to be Attilan flying to the moon [12:55 PM] Umbramatic: oops [12:55 PM] maxwellelvis: Good thing Reed's collar stretches. [12:56 PM] Wack'd: Reed says he took special measures to make sure every airspace that got violated got a message not to worry about it which 1. seems like a good way to make folks worry and 2. I guess he forgot to send SHIELD that memo [12:58 PM] Wack'd: Hmmm. Not sure I like this

[12:58 PM] Wack'd: Also Raiders had like just come out which is weird to think about [12:58 PM] Umbramatic: ben is cosplaying [12:59 PM] Wack'd: He's cosplaying a Mightey Whitey character for an Africa trip which. There are worse options I guess [12:59 PM] Umbramatic: oh [01:00 PM] Umbramatic: that did not sink in at first [01:00 PM] Wack'd: We're still doing huts and loincloths, huh? I am increasingly wondering when he Afrofuturism kicks in and we get a Wakanda that's less...this

[01:01 PM] Umbramatic: ...same [01:01 PM] maxwellelvis: Not until black people start writing for Black Panther. [01:01 PM] Wack'd: (Probably once Black people get a crack at writing it tbh--yeah [01:01 PM] Wack'd: Also: did Bryne change Ben back to a lump for the sole purpose of justifying let's-you-and-him-fight bits [01:02 PM] Wack'd: Because if so that's...actually pretty clever [01:04 PM] Wack'd: Anyway the Four + Frankie go undercover as a safari complete with pith helmets and fatigues. Which always feels more like cosplay than realism when fictional characters do it no matter what the era [01:04 PM] Wack'd: Like when characters from the American south wear white suits. I always assume it's something that got come by thirdhand even though who knows maybe it's a thing [01:05 PM] Wack'd: Well something’s up

[01:07 PM] Wack'd: Hm. The implication that Wakanda has gotten less superstitious because of Europeans is certainly gross!

[01:08 PM] Wack'd: The Four get a closer look and find some Russians had also been investigating. Operative word being "had" because they're all skeletons now [01:08 PM] Bocaj: No telling where the meat ran off to [01:09 PM] Wack'd: No telling indeed [01:10 PM] Wack'd: No sooner do they start investigating than the team are ambushed by a squad of folks in gold-and-red Roman centurion cosplay. Not wanting to blow their cover, the team lets themselves get taken hostage, but Sue turns invisible before she's noticed so the team has an advantage if things need to pop off [01:10 PM] Umbramatic: spooky scary [01:11 PM] Umbramatic: what's with all the fucking cosplay this issue [01:11 PM] Wack'd: The team are led through a mountain stocked with Kirby-esque tech and led out the other side to:

[01:12 PM] Umbramatic: well [01:12 PM] Umbramatic: when in rome [01:13 PM] Wack'd: You know when I asked when the writers will realize Wakandans should probably have some degree of advanced architecture and whathaveyou this is not what I had in mind [01:14 PM] Wack'd: Frankie knows how to deal with sexual harassers and also racists

[01:14 PM] Umbramatic: good [01:14 PM] Wack'd: ...god I hope the guy under that helmet is white because if this isn't deliberate I'm gonna go apeshit [01:15 PM] Wack'd: ......unless I guess a white guy saying that doesn't necessarily mean the white guy writing it is deliberately writing a racist, considering *gestures at Wakanda's whole deal* [01:15 PM] Bocaj: I hope this isn’t nova roma [01:15 PM] Bocaj: That’s supposed to be in South America and also they tend to wear black face [01:15 PM] Bocaj: Not Claremont’s finest hour [01:16 PM] Wack'd: Does the name Gaius Tiberius Augustus Aggrippa mean anything to anyone. Also does it mean anything period, like, is that actual Latin [01:16 PM] maxwellelvis: It's just nouns [01:17 PM] Umbramatic: it sounds like a lot of emperor names mashed together and also that [01:17 PM] Bocaj: It sounds like all Roman names because there were only like twenty names and every Roman used every so far one [01:17 PM] Bocaj: Caligula’s real name was Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus [01:18 PM] Wack'd: Having lost the element of surprise Reed orders an ambush but GTAA manages to neutralize their powers. Including Sue's, which, how'd he even know she was there, c'mon [01:18 PM] Bocaj: Boo [01:18 PM] Umbramatic: boo [01:18 PM] Wack'd: It is time now for the traditional sequence in which the entire team is locked up and has to escape [01:19 PM] Bocaj: It sure happens to them a lot [01:19 PM] Bocaj: You’d think Mr Miracle was a fantastic four member at this rate [01:19 PM] Phantom: Hmm it's interesting how much I associate Latin with species names [01:20 PM] Wack'd: It turns out the deception vis-a-vis Black Panther was just the ol' Queen Amidala gambit. T'challa gets in a Batman boast about how you can't neutralize his powers because his powers are just having worked out a lot [01:20 PM] Umbramatic: MUSCLES [01:21 PM] maxwellelvis: This was before the Heart-Shaped Herb was a thing? [01:21 PM] Wack'd: T'Challa has been put in a slave gally because of course. Reed and Frankie are shackled in dungeons to the ceiling. Sue....has been stripped naked and left in a lavish bedroom [01:21 PM] Umbramatic: ...oh [01:21 PM] Phantom: of course [01:22 PM] Wack'd: GTAA has had "games called in [her] honor" which I assume means Gladiator. Maybe he'll surprise us by being big into baseball, who knows [01:22 PM] maxwellelvis: What are the odds that Byrne actually knows what gladiator games were like? [01:22 PM] maxwellelvis: I'm guessing not very good. [01:22 PM] Umbramatic: GTAA is really into esports [01:22 PM] Wack'd: Middling to low [01:23 PM] Wack'd: T'Challa tries to break Frankie out of her cell by just being like "hey, I'm your king, knock off this fuckery" but the guards aren't having it [01:23 PM] Bocaj: “You can’t neutralize my powers” is a weird flex when you get caught anyway [01:23 PM] Wack'd: Yeah [01:24 PM] Wack'd: GTAA decides to exposit his backstory to Sue [01:26 PM] Bocaj: I like to imagine that she makes the blah blah gesture while he talks [01:26 PM] Wack'd: He was an ancient Roman soldier sent to investigate a "falling star" which, of course, was actually an alien spaceship. He managed to dispatch its sole occupant and steal their armor, which imparted to him great smartitude [01:26 PM] Bocaj: Sure, of course [01:26 PM] maxwellelvis: Aaarrgh! No! Not another Prester John! [01:27 PM] maxwellelvis: John Byrne, have you no decency at all, sir?! [01:27 PM] Wack'd: By the time he got back his platoon had pulled out of the region for reasons unknown so he did what anyone from another culture with superior force and no mandate does when stranded across borders and take up dictatorship as a hobby [01:28 PM] Wack'd: So, uh. [01:28 PM] Wack'd: There are some...coloring discrepancies...in this book [01:29 PM] Umbramatic: oh [01:29 PM] Wack'd: I glossed over a panel with a Black Frankie Raye because, uh, I didn't really have a good joke about it, frankly [01:29 PM] Wack'd: But it seems instructive because there are two flashback panels where GTAA is colored Black and then a further three where he's a white guy [01:30 PM] Bocaj: In fairness [01:30 PM] Bocaj: That is in character for a Roman [01:30 PM] Bocaj: The dictatorship as a hobby I mean [01:31 PM] Wack'd: Dude has gone increasingly mask-off, racism-wise--during his backstory he boasts about rendering all his subjects mute because their language offended them and trying to teach them Roman was a bust because he still hated their "gibbering monkey voices" [01:31 PM] Wack'd: So, uh, I guess we'll see if this issue ends with An Aesop [01:31 PM] Bocaj: .... [01:31 PM] Umbramatic: wow dude [01:32 PM] maxwellelvis: He... DOES know there were black people in Rome, right? [01:32 PM] Wack'd: Bryne? I mean it's the 80s [01:32 PM] maxwellelvis: Either or [01:32 PM] Wack'd: Most pop culture assumed every country had monoracial societies in The Past until like ten years ago [01:33 PM] Bocaj: Not that rome wasn’t racist to anyone not from rome but [01:33 PM] Wack'd: You can pin a lot on Bryne but "yeah of course Romans were all white" is pretty on par [01:33 PM] Wack'd: Oh also GTAA deliberately named himself after Caligula so there's that settled [01:33 PM] Bocaj: Sure [01:34 PM] Umbramatic: so we can stop calling him Grand Theft Auto Anarchy [01:34 PM] Bocaj: We don’t have to [01:34 PM] Wack'd: Anyway GTAA wants Sue as his bride and if she refuses he will force Johnny and Ben to fight [01:35 PM] Wack'd: ...to the death, not like usual [01:35 PM] Bocaj: Ha [01:35 PM] Bocaj: It’d be funny if she was like “oh is it Tuesday already?” [01:35 PM] Wack'd: *long, deep sigh*

[01:36 PM] Wack'd: Thankfully Sue's immediately like "his powers come from his helmet, right? All I gotta do is take the helmet off" [01:37 PM] Wack'd: Turns out that helmet granted lots of powers [01:37 PM] Wack'd: Like immortality for him and his subjects [01:37 PM] Wack'd: And structural integrity for his city [01:37 PM] Wack'd: And the suppressive effect on the Four's powers [01:38 PM] Wack'd: Aaaaaaaaand there's no ontological inertia [01:38 PM] Umbramatic: ._. [01:38 PM] Wack'd: So just by taking the helmet off GTAA and all his slaves immediately die and the city crumbles [01:38 PM] Bocaj: Of course [01:38 PM] Wack'd: Kind of a bum deal for the people who spent twenty centuries in servitude [01:39 PM] Wack'd: "WE'RE FREE!" 💀 [01:39 PM] Bocaj: Sue: “well that’s the most people I’ve ever killed at once” [01:39 PM] Umbramatic: F [01:40 PM] Bocaj: “I never wanted to be dead, Surfer. Frankly, I only died out of peer pressure” [01:40 PM] Wack'd: And so everyone escapes, Reed does an exposition dump, and the story immediately ends [01:40 PM] Bocaj: No moral? [01:40 PM] Wack'd: Nope [01:41 PM] Umbramatic: "don't wear funky alien helmets kids" [01:41 PM] Wack'd: So...maybe Bryne was just being racist. I mean it seems probable but also it goes waaaaaaay mask-off in a way I don't think even Bryne woulda thought acceptable [01:43 PM] Wack'd: Anyway I do not think I have time for another issue before I gotta leave for work. Perhaps when I return later this evening we will do the next story, which is about everyone's favorite established Four baddie [01:43 PM] Wack'd: Terrax the Untamed [01:43 PM] Umbramatic: :O [01:43 PM] Wack'd: Who despite being from the 70s and thus far more recent I still had to look up

[the-truest-sentence-i-know]

you are the one thing i did right

Fandom: The 100

Relationships: Bellarke; Bellarke & Madi

Summary: Basically just, what if Madi was Bellarke’s kid. Encompassing the end of s4 to the beginning of s5. One-shot.

Words: 2.3k

ao3 ||| ff.net ||| wattpad ||| quotev

It had been a long time coming, her and Bellamy. In the years that they had led side by side, they had borne so much responsibility it was a wonder they were not stooped over under the weight. But they had done it together.

And now, once again with lives in their hands – a list this time, not a lever; ninety-nine names in Clark’s handwriting, and one in Bellamy’s. His voice was gentle, his hand firm upon her shoulder, and when she looked up at him, she wondered why they had never crossed this line with each other before.

So when they did cross it, seconds later, lips soft and open like a promise kept, bodies meeting like hands clasped in prayer, begging an uncaring god that maybe for once, something good could happen to them.

They allowed themselves a moment of happiness, of pleasure, of arching backs and tangled limbs and a low murmur of, “princess.” They hardly had a chance to speak of it afterwards, in the flurry of hope and subsequent disappointment under the looming threat of nuclear apocalypse.

Before they had the chance to express any of the feelings that had burrowed their way so firmly into their hearts that it was like they had always been there, they were separated once again. Bellamy stared at the destruction as they took off, having not only lost his best friend, but also a chance at a maybe that had been on his lips since their first days on the ground.

And Clarke smiled through her tears as she watched her friends escaped the radiated Earth. “May we meet again.”

 Clarke did not realize she was pregnant until she had found the valley. She had first thought it the morning sickness was merely an effect of the radiation in the air, but in a few weeks, it was impossible to deny the bump.

Practically speaking, an abortion would have been best under the circumstances. However, she had neither the experience nor the equipment to do it safely and she had seen the efforts of botched procedures during her training on the Ark.

She had omitted it from her daily calls to Bellamy, although she was not quite sure why. She supposed that if the calls were actually making it through to him, she did not want to cause him to worry.

But she was terrified. While she knew all the practical and theoretical information, her situation was less than ideal. There was no telling whether her Nightblood would be passed on to the child – without which, it could not survive – and she had no way to check anything. What she really wanted was to be able to talk to her mom, but there was no way to.

One day, finally, she broke and grabbed the radio. “Hey, Bellamy,” she said. “If you can hear me, maybe listen to this in private, it’s kinda personal.” She took a breath. “We slept together, like two months ago, which you know… cause you were there.” She sighed, shaking her head. “And now I’m pregnant. And I didn’t want to tell you because you would worry and you can’t really do much from up there, but I can’t contact my mom in the bunker and I really need to talk to someone about it.”

She poured out her heart to the radio, with all the fears she had not dared to say out loud. “I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a mom,” she said finally. “I’ve messed up so many things, Bellamy. I can’t mess this up, because it’s a person. God, this would be so much easier if you were here. I work better with you around: the head and the heart.” She stared at the blue sky. “And you’re great with kids too.” She sighed. “But don’t worry too much about me. I have enough medical training and experience to do this.”

The wind whispered through the trees and Clarke closed her eyes for a moment, trying to picture Bellamy beside her, and imagine what he would say. And while no specific words came to mind, she saw his encouraging look, the silent expression she understood in a heartbeat. “I miss you.”

 Months passed. As she neared what she guessed was the ninth month, Clarke gathered extra food, smoking fish and drying berries to store.

“I guess I should start thinking about names.” Clarke laid on the ground next to the rover. “I knew you’re into Roman history, but I don’t know about having a kid named Julius, or Caligula.” She laughed. “Hadrian’s okay, I suppose. You know what: if it’s a boy, he can be August, like Augustus. If it’s a girl, I pick…” she mused. “Madi.” She smiled. “And then when she’s in trouble, she’ll be Madi Augusta Griffin-Blake. And yes, the child will be hyphenating.”

She stared at the sky, squinting even though she knew she couldn’t see the Ark. “You know, I’m so big now that I can’t even climb on top of the rover anymore.”

 Madi Augusta Griffin-Blake was born on a foggy morning two weeks later, after hours of labour. And when Clarke held her, tears of relief and joy mingling with the sweat on her face, she could not take her eyes off her. Madi blinked in the light of early morning and opened her mouth to cry.

Clarke held her close – gently, because she was so small – and whispered, “Your dad is going to love you and you’ll be so lucky to have him.” A few more tears slipped down her cheeks. “And we’re gonna do everything we can for you. You’re gonna be the thing that I, that we do right.”

Madi was a wide-eyed baby who became an inquisitive toddler – stubborn too, but Clarke managed to handle it. She wanted Madi to know everything she could need to survive on her own. She never said so explicitly, but she remembered being a kid sent down to Earth to die. And no matter what happened to her, Madi had to make it.

So by the time she was five, Madi could bandage a wound, set a bone, and pear fish and start a fire. She also knew the surviving members of the 100 by name, and Raven and Emori. And of course, Bellamy. With her drawings, Clarke ensured that Madi could recognize them – again, with the unspoken intention that if something happened to her, Madi would know who to trust.

She grew up to stories about them, and while she loved to hear them all, her request before bed was always the same.

“Tell me about Bellamy.”

Clarke smiled, sitting on the edge of Madi’s bed. The night was cool, and she snuggled under the blankets. “Bellamy Blake grew up on the Ark, like me. He has a sister named Octavia, who he cares very much about. He is strong and brave and has a really big heart.”

“Clarke,” Madi said sleepily. “When will they come back?”

“I don’t know,” Clarke said. “But they will… eventually.”

 Eventually came about two years later, when Madi was seven years old.

She had grown up in the valley, so even in the dark, she could run through the trees no problem. Ahead of her, figures with guns – three of them. She took out one with her spear and shot the other two. The gun – too big for her, really – gave some kickback, but she was able to handle it.

The three with guns had been ambushing a group of people in the clearing, cast in shadows, but they stood back defensively.

“She’s just a kid,” said one.

Madi stepped out of the shadows and stared – standing in front of her were Clarke’s drawings come to life: Monty, Harper, Emori, Echo, and, “Bellamy?”

They stared back.

“Clarke knew you’d come,” she said. Bellamy looked older than he had in Clarke’s drawings – they all did.

Bellamy spoke first, a slight tremor in his voice. “Clarke’s alive?”

Madi was quickly brought back to reality. “And she’s in trouble, we have to go.”

 Bellamy was not quite sure what to make of this kid. He was making the same calculations in his head that he knew they all were – was he the father? The rover bounced as he drove through the woods, following her directions.

“So what’s your name?” he asked.

“Madi,” she said. “Take a left here.”

“And Clarke is your…?” Harper asked.

“Mom. Clarke is my mom.”

Bellamy nodded. “Does anyone else live here?”

“Not till today,” she said. “Clarke thought it was you guys on that ship – we don’t know who they are.”

“We do,” Monty said quickly. “They’re bad news.”

“We’re getting close,” Madi said, reaching for her gun.

Bellamy stopped the rover in front of Diyoza and her people. “Madi, no,” he said. “Monty, get in the driver’s seat when I get out. When I signal, drive away, keep the kid safe.”

Madi looked like she wanted to protest.

“I promise I won’t let anything happen to Clarke.”

 Clarke blinked in the bright headlights of the rover. “Madi, no,” she whispered, but the figure that stepped out was not Madi – much too tall, but familiar.

“I’m unarmed, I just want to talk.”

The voice was as familiar as her own name and for a moment Clarke thought she was dreaming.

“Give me one good reason not to kill you where you stand,” Diyoza said.

“How about I give you two-hundred and eighty-three.” Clarke still could hardly see him, just his silhouette, but there was no doubt in her mind about who it was. “That’s how many of your people are gonna die if you and I can’t make a deal.”

Diyoza shifted and Bellamy raised his arm, signalling the rover to back away. He knew he should be focusing on Diyoza and the various men with guns, but Clarke was right there. All the feelings that he had been trying to get over for the past seven years came rushing back – perhaps they had never left.

“Two-hundred and eighty-three lives for one. She must be pretty important to you.”

Bellamy looked at her, trying to keep his emotions at bay. “She is.”

 Clarke was not dreaming, but a part of this still felt not real. Bellamy’s arms around her, Murphy and Raven’s voices on the radio, it all felt too good to be true.

The bunker was to be opened in the morning, so they had nothing to do for the night. Out of earshot of Diyoza’s people, Bellamy sat down beside her.

In the heaviness that settled in the air between them, Clarke knew what was coming next.

“I met Madi,” he said.

“Is she alright?”

“She’s fine, she’s with the others.” He stared at the wall in front of them and then glanced back at her. “Clarke, is she –?”

Clarke nodded. “Her full name is Madi Augusta Griffin-Blake.”

He smiled. “That’s a lot of name for a little kid.”

“Say’s the guy who named his baby sister Octavia,” Clarke said with a smile.

“Does she know?”

She nodded. “Mm-hm. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.”

Bellamy was quiet for a moment and then turned to Clarke, a hand on her knee. “You’re amazing, you know that? Raising her all on your own.”

“Well, she’s only seven, she isn’t fully raised yet,” Clarke said, putting her hand over his. “You’re not off the hook yet.”

“Good,” he said. “I don’t want to be.”

Clarke smiled and leaned into him. “I’m so glad to have you back.”

 It was a quiet afternoon – everyone was out and about, exploring the valley, but Bellamy found himself in Clarke and Madi’s house. It was cosy and very lived-in. On the table laid several sketchbooks. Bellamy smiled as he looked through Clarke’s drawings – of all their friends and family, of distinct scenes in their past. That was how Madi knew everything about them.

Not all the drawings were Clarke’s thought, many were Madi’s as well. He was looking at one – an imagined version of the Ark – when he heard the door open.

He turned to see Madi in the doorway. He smiled and held up the drawing. “So you’re an artist too, huh, just like your mom?”

She nodded, coming to stand beside him. “Drawing pictures of her stories made them more real.”

“They’re really good.”

Madi looked at him. “You’re just saying that cause you’re my dad.”

Bellamy shifted awkwardly. “We should probably talk about that.” He crouched so they could see eye to eye. “I know you don’t know me very well, but –”

“But I do,” she interrupted, grabbing one of Clarke’s sketchbooks, flipping through it. “I know about how you and Clarke didn’t like each other at first, and about you and Octavia, and ‘whatever the heck we want.’”

Bellamy smiled.

“And I know about the heart and the head.” She looked over at him. “And you’re my dad and it’s really nice to see you in real life.” She threw her arms around his neck and Bellamy was frozen for a moment before holding her tight.

From the doorway, Clarke smiled at the two of them. Bellamy saw her over Madi’s shoulder, and they shared a look; even after so many years apart, they understood each other. Clarke’s heart was close to bursting with happiness. Her only wish in the past few years had been to see them all together – and here it was right before her eyes.

“Lunch is ready,” she said finally.

Madi turned and smiled. She grabbed Bellamy’s hand, dragging him to the door.

“I’ve got an idea.” Bellamy crouched again. “Piggy-back ride?”

Madi’s face exploded into a beaming grin as she clambered onto his back. Bellamy rose carefully and Clarke rolled her eyes at him, smiling. He ducked under the door and took Clarke’s hand. The three of them walked out together.