#do not limit yourself girlies
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you can be both an ethereal faerie dream girl and a horrid little dirt gremlin creature. the duality of woman
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girl dinner this girl math that girl pockets girl crushes girl whatever the fuck Im going to fucking lose it
#i love being a girl i really do#all the time except when i see these#where is the being critical of gender roles#all they do is reinforce this stupid dichotomy and act like its cool or progressive somehow#ik social media isnt for everyone but every time i step on there and see this im reminded of it so harshly it feels like slap in the face#being a girl for me is not caring about clothes or not wearing makeup or having terrible hair or loving to read or having âboy humourâ or#literally anything i like doing#my girlhood is not less than your girlhood#my experience is just as much as yours and your experience is not everyones#whole new generation of limiting roles and expectations based on gender#except this time theyve rebranded it as cool and quirky and honest or whatever#im so sick of it all sometimes girl pockets are full of dry leaves and girl skin care is dish soap#that doesnt make it less girly#because shock horror maybe girlhood isnt just being the most perfect uber feminine caricature you can be#you are putting these rules on yourself after we fought so hard to get them off of us#girlhood is just your lived experience as a girl i dont want to hear it
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Diamond Heart
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Summary: You finally decide to utilise your gym membership. Personal trainer!Jungkook
Genre: Romance, comedy, smut, angst
Warnings: Body image. Negative language. Heavy smut scene at the end.
________
This is the second time I've uploaded this story. The first time, I received some pretty mean comments and messages. SOOOOOO I have to say, if you don't like. my writing, that's fine, just exit my page lol. Do not leave mean comments please.
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New year, new you, right? Your new years resolution was to get your body right, eat healthily, drink less and most importantly; get in the gym. However, it had been months since the new year had begun and you still hadnât utilised your gym membership. The fee was regularly from your bank account every month and you had yet to step foot into the establishment. You frowned every time you saw the transaction on your bank statement, but you did absolutely nothing about it.Â
But the influence of social media made you feel like you wanted to try and be a gym girlie. So you took your gym bag to work, placed It under your desk so you didnât have any excuse not to go. Plus, the gym was quite literally in your work building.Â
You sigh change into untouched gym clothes that you had bought all the way back at the end of December, preparing for your new yearâs resolution. Shame rushes over your body as you tear the tags from the tight fitting clothes and chuck them into the sanitary bin next to the toilet. Huffing and puffing you slide your socked feet into new exercise shoes. Stuffing your work clothes into the bag, you exit the bathroom stall and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You didnât look too bad, you looked like someone who was ready to workout. If you looked the part, you could play the part.Â
Lugging the bag over your shoulder, you head to the gym.Â
It was pretty empty, you were surprised, as the majority of colleagues held a membership, considering all employees got a ten percent discount as your employers owned the building.
You guess that people donât usually come straight from work, they most likely go home and come back. But not everyone suffers from severe procrastination like you do.Â
Heading to the changing rooms, to put your bag away, you pass a very good looking man, you almost trip over as your eyes stick to him. He dressed in a baggy white shirt and shorts, his feet adorned in similar shoes to yours. His hair was cut in a cool way, it was kinda long, considering all the men at work and currently surrounding him, all sported cropped haircuts. His ears and his lips were embellished with piercings, you almost walked into a wall when you saw him playing with his lip piercings, the tip of his tongue, just grazing the shiny metal. Your gaze fleetingly drops to his arm, his tattooed arm. How was a man like this working here? He should be on the cover of vogue or something.Â
Tearing your eyes away from him, you manage to make it into the changing room, unscathed. You quickly lock away your bag and head back out onto the main floor, phone and AirPods in hand, ready to tackle the gym. And then it hits you a ton of bricks. You have no idea what youâre doing. You didnât know where to start, what equipment does what, what part of your body to focus on.Â
You look around at people lifting weights, running on the treadmills, using the equipment like pros.
Your eyes focus in on the 'smoke show' of a man that âbrieflyâ caught your eye earlier. He was now sitting behind the front desk and under a large poster for personal trainers. The poster read âIn the body gym: PT sessions available; first 2 sessions are freeâ. And if a sign from the universe, it doesnât fail to mention how the offer is time limited. You take it as a sign, plus you were most likely going to try the gym twice before never going again. Might as well get free personal training out of it.
With determination, you walk towards the front desk, before stopping in front of that man of a man. And thatâs when the words on your tongue freeze.Â
Jungkook notices a presence looming over him and he puts the finishing touches on the next promotional poster. He looks up and smiles. He noticed you when you first came in, you were a new face, he knew all the regulars who attended the gym and he had never seen you before. He would definitely remember a face like yours. He stands up.
âHello, how can I help you?â He rests his tattooed hand on the desk and he notice how your eyes grow larger at the sight.
Your words are still finding it hard to get out of your mouth. You probably look like such a weirdo, standing there and staring at him. You manage to lift your finger and gesture to the poster behind him.
He smiles and his smile is the brightest smile youâve ever seen.
âYou want to book a PT session?âÂ
You nod and swallow the lump that had been lodged in your throat since you walked up to the desk.
âSorry, yes, Iâd like to book five.â You fumble to pull out your credit card from the back of your phone.
âI can just add the fee to your account. You donât need to pay directly. The fee wonât be noticeable until the third session, on the account of our offer.â He leans forward to adjust your account.Â
You can see down his shirt from the angle. And by the sight you can tell that he works in a gym. Hell, he might even live in it.Â
He clicks a few times and quickly straightens back up, you swiftly divert your gaze.
âYou are free to start your first session today.â He comes out from behind the desk and he towers over you, your knees buckle. Maybe thatâs something you need to work on. Do your knees have muscles? Can you make them stronger?
âOkay, should I wait here for the trainer?â You ask.
He goes behind the desk, ducks down and then comes back out.
He extends his hand and you stare at him in confusion.
He retracts his hand, and rubs the back of his neck.
âI donât know why I did thatâŠâ He awkwardly chuckles, shaking his head.
It canât be. Thereâs no way that heâs your P-
âIâm your trainer. I hope thatâs okay, the other guys are fully booked and I had a cancellation today, so I thought itâd be a cute jokeâŠâ He trails off, taking note of the smile growing across your face.
You feel kinda at ease seeing him get a little awkward attempting to joke with you. He looked like he should be the cockiest motherfucker ever, but second by second he was proving that he was the complete opposite of that. It was endearing but there was no way he could be your personal trainer, not like you had a shot with him anyway, he probably had a really fit and hot girlfriend. You digress, you didnât want him to see you all sweaty, breathing hard and struggling to complete simple moves.Â
He looks at you, his eyes doubling in size. He can tell youâre slightly uncomfortable, he could almost visualise the Neurons firing off in your head. He was attracted to you, thatâs for sure, he wasnât trying to come off as creepy. Maybe he did, and now you donât want to train with him, maybe youâll cancel your membership too.
He rapidly looks around the gym, hoping to catch the eye of one of his colleagues, so he could offer to trade clients. He catches Namjoonâs eye, but before he could call him over, you speak;
âIt was funny, Iâm just a bit scared.â
His gaze meets your eyes again. He internally feels a huge rush of relief. Thank goodness he didnât scare you away.
âOh good.â He tucks his hair behind his ear.
Cute. You think.
âWhy are you scared?â He quickly follows up.
Shifting your weight between your feet, you answer, your voice barely audible over the EDM base leaking through the speakers.
âI donât want to embarrass myself. Youâre a professional and I donât want to make a fool of myself.â You play with your earbud case, avoiding eye contact.
You wouldnât be his first client who had that same fear, it was completely natural to be scared of embarrassing yourself. He felt the same way when he started boxing, the first session was nerve-racking, scared of getting anything wrong. But all you need is a good and supportive trainer. And if says so himself, thatâs what he thinks he is.
âDonât be scared. Iâm here to help you. Weâll start slow, okay?â He offers a warm smile and places his large hand on your shoulder.
You almost fall from the feeling of his hand on your bare shoulder. Yes, you were acting like a teenage girl who had never interacted with a man before. But look at him. You were a grown ass woman who had never interacted with a man that looked like him before.
He leads you over to a room separate from the rest of the gym, closed off with glass doors, allowing you to see the whole place. Inside the room were a few exercise balls, foam roller and weights. The floor was soft and covered in mats.
He takes you over to the furthest mat in the room.
âJust me and you here, so donât be nervous. This section is pretty discreet.â He reassures you.
You smile and place your phone and earbuds down on the floor next to the two mats you were currently occupying.
âWe are going to start with stretching, so please sit down. I might have to help you with some of the positions. I hope you donât mind being stretchedâŠâ His voice quietens as he realises how it sounds.
His cheeks flush a pretty pink. A hot flash that runs through you, leaves a thin layer of sweat on your hairline.
And so it begins.
The next morning you wake up sore as fuck. All that extra stretching at the end of the session seemed useless now. Your legs feel like lead as you swing them out of bed and headed to the bathroom. As you sit on the toilet, your thighs scream at you, it was almost as if you could feel every fibre of your muscles tear.Â
Your phone buzzes on the countertop. Finishing your business, you wash your hands and run the shower.
You tap the screen on your phone to see a message from Jungkook. He said it was important to have direct contact with each other, just incase he wanted to recommend some gym wear or if you had any questions.Â
Jungkook (Gym): âHope yesterday didnât tire you out too much. You did great đ â
Another comes in as you finish reading.
Jungkook (Gym): âI hope to see you at the gym (or outside) soon! Make sure to book another session! đâ
You quickly pick up your phone, steam fills the room as the water continues to gush from the pipes.
It vibrates in your hand.
Jungkook (Gym): âSorry if that was unwarranted.â
It vibrates again. You didnât want to risk opening the messages just incase you were unsure of what to say. You really didnât want to leave him on read unintentionally.
Jungkook (Gym): âPlease ignore the last two messages đŁ .âÂ
Jungkook (Gym): âLets pretend that didnât happen. Sorry for the spam đÂ
You click on the notification and unlock your phone.Â
You: Its okay đ My body feels like its on fire every time I move, is that normal?
You fire off the text.
Jungkook (Gym): âYes đ completely normal. You should buy a foam roller to massage your muscles~ But more stretching should help in the mean time. Here is a video to follow (its me btw đł)â
He sends a link to a Youtube video. Youâre intrigued. The gym seemingly had a YouTube channel. The link loads and then you see Jungkook on your screen. Holding the phone in one hand, you quickly turn off the shower and head to your bedroom. Careful not to walking into any walls, you sit on your bed.Â
He greets the audience cheerfully, informing them that this was a tutorial for stretching to relieve muscle ache. He is wearing the gymâs merch, not like when you saw him the day before, it wasnât a baggy t-shirt, no. This time it was a form fitting sleeveless, lycra shirt, with the gymâs logo nestled between his sculpted pecs. His vibrant tattoos more on show than they were in person. His legs were wrapped in shorts, that fell just above his knees.Â
He encourages the viewers to get an exercise mat or find a soft surface. You follow his instruction. A loud groan escapes your lips as you struggle to sit down.
He sports the brightest smile as he guides the (most likely thirsty) watchers through the exercises.
You strain your muscles as you attempt to toe touch. And then he says something that brings you back to the previous day, during your session.
âYou might need a partner to stretch you, if you canât get far enough. Itâll feel really good.â
You were being advised on how to stretch and then when it came to this specific stretch. You were laying on your back, hands clasped around your knee. You knew that you werenât flexible, but you didnât know that you were this stiff. You tried your best to pull your leg into your chest, but you couldnât anything.
âIts not working.â You say, letting your leg drop to the ground with a thud.
Jungkook chuckles and looks down at you, arms crossed, his biceps bulging. The strength it took to not stare was more than what you used to lift the weights.
âI think you need help.â He kneels down in front of you.
He pauses.
âI can help you, if you want.âÂ
You nod.
He mutters an âokay, greatâ, before asking you to resume the position. He moves forward, putting his body over yours, placing his hands on your calf and pushing your leg up and down.
You almost moan with how good the stretch felt. You try your damn hardest not to concentrate on the man who was currently on top of you. You tried not to take notice of his scent, or the small scar on his cheek, or the mole under his lip.
âCan you feel it now?â He smirks.
He knew you could feel it, he heard the noise you let slip. He tries not to think anything of it, but his mind runs wild. He had to be professional. Plus you hadnât indicated that you were interested in him in the slightest.
You nod again. He sits back on his heels and lets go of your leg.
Youâre pulled out of your reminiscent state by a notification and the sound of the phone vibrating against the floor.
Jungkook (Gym): Did it help? đąÂ
You quickly reply with no thoughts. Empty headed.
You: Its not the same without you
He was gonna think you were like all those other woman in the gym who thirsted over him. You needed to fix it.
You quickly send another message.
You: *your help âșïžÂ
Jungkookâs heart sank at your correction. Maybe you werenât interested. You probably in a relationship and the last thing you wanted to deal with was a creepy PT harassing you. He doesnât reply.
You spend your whole shower thinking about being left on read.
Your closest co-worker, Bethany, sits across from you during in lunch. She notices how you barely make conversation, or keep the conversation. You check your phone every 5 minutes.
âWho are we waiting for?â She asks, her fork digging around in her bowl.
âHuh?âÂ
She chuckles.
âYouâre obviously waiting for someone to text. You keep on looking at phone like every two seconds. So, who are we waiting for?â
You didnât know you were being that obvious.Â
âWell⊠My personal trainer is a total twenty out of ten. And he messaged me this morning to give me some stretching tips, and I may have ended our last convo on a creepy note. And now I think that heâs ghosting me because I was a creep. He probably blocked me. Iâm probably banned from the gym.â Words rush out of your sauce covered lips. Maybe spaghetti wasnât the best meal to have in the middle of the day.
Bethany shoves a napkin in your face, which you accept gratefully. She request to see the messages. Embarrassed, you hand your phone over to her.
She remains silent as she scrolls down the screen.
âHe has a crush on you.â She finally speaks, her eyes fixed on the screen, her thumb pressing down. She was doing more than looking at the messages.
âYou better not be sending another message.â You warn her, hand reaching across the table.
She swiftly moves her chair back, so your phone is out of reach.
âIf you donât snatch him up, someone else will. Oh my God, he isâŠâ She doesnât finish her sentence, she turns the screen towards you. And you freeze. It is a picture of a rather muscular manâs bare back, the hair at the nape of his neck was wet with sweat. And the tattooed arm⊠You knew that arm. It was in your dreams last night.
âW-where did you find that?â
She smiles and her thumb resumes the swiping motion.
âIt was in his previous profile pictures.â She leans back in her chair.
âHis picture is a brown dog.â You sit back, the image burnt into your eyes.
How were suppose to act now that youâve seen that? All you can imagine is digging your nails into that back as-
See? Youâve been corrupted. No, you must be ovulating, that why the impure thoughts plague your mind. Youâve seen good looking men before, but youâve never had such a primal reaction before. You also didnât know him well enough to like anything besides his looks. His very, very, very good looks.
âHe has a ton of pictures. He may be the first guy ever whoâs good at taking pictures. Damn, look at this.â She turns the screen towards you once more. This time he was standing in a mirror, hair slicked back and in a black button down.Â
âI can never go back to the gym. I guess my new years resolution is not going to be fulfilled.â You sigh, leaning forward to put your head in your arms.
Suddenly, Bethany gasps.
âHe replied.â She smiles.
Your heart drops to your stomach.Â
âI canât look. You read it.â You close your eyes, not wanting to look at her face.
She clicks on the notification. It felt as if seconds were taking hours to pass.
âAww~âÂ
Your head pops up, eyes shoot open.
âAww?âÂ
She nods.
âHe said âIâd be glad to help, I like you.â
You lunge forward and grab the device out of her hand.
It shakes in your hand
Jungkook (Gym): * your company đÂ
Your heartbeat quickens and a smile spreads across your face. He was nicely making fun of you, recalling back to your little save earlier.
âIf you donât go for it, I will.â Bethany jokes, her engagement ring, glistening under the lighting of the restaurant.
You sit back in your chair, clutching the phone, thinking of a reply. The phone buzzes again.
Jungkook (Gym): I hope I didnât ruin my chances of asking you out for dinner after our training sessions. I hope it didnât come off as creepy đ€ąÂ
You didnât dwell on a reply, you thumbs swiftly move across the screen as you type out a reply.
You: Why wait? đ«€Â
Jungkook didnât want to rush anything just incase the attraction was purely physical. You still had four sessions left. He didnât want to put either of you in that uncomfortable position of feeling like you were stuck with someone you had a bad experience with. What if you found him boring, or strange, or creepy? Oh he was so stupid, luckily you seemed interested, but he didnât even ask if you were single or not, he just pounced on you like some sort of predator.
Jungkook (Gym): I want you to keep on coming to the gym. I want it to go well.
Your heart melts. It was endearing. That someone that looked like him could be nervous.Â
You send a heart emoji and lock your phone, placing it screen down on the table. As youâre about to open your mouth to discuss your messages with Bethany, your phone rings. Flipping it up, you see the name on the screen; Jungkook.
You show Bethany. She snatches the device from you and answers it, shoving it to your ear.
âHello?â You say.
âHi. How are you?â His silky, yet raspy voice bleeds through the speakers.
Your eyes zero in on the left over food on your plate, your finger mindlessly tracing patterns into the table.
âI-Iâm good. You?âÂ
You could hear the EDM music that played in the gym come through the phone. It must be at work.
âSame. Uh, do you want to come in today? I could help the soreness go away? Well, not completely, but feel better?â He suggests, shyly. You practically see his tattooed arm raise to go behind his neck to shake through the back of his hair.
You didnât have any plans to go to the gym for another 2 days Your sweaty clothes were still stuffed in your gym bag next to your front door. You hadnât even bothered to put them in the laundry.
âUh⊠I donât have my gym clothes today.â You lean back in your chair.
Jungkook was unsure of how he was going to come off but he had to try. He really wanted to see you, he felt pathetic having a crush like this. Pursuing a crush like this.
âWe have gym apparel here.â He says.
You almost scoff. Not meaning to come off as condescending. You try to disguise the scoff as a cough.
âIâm not really a gym girlie. So Iâm not into buying gym clothes like that⊠Iâll be come in on Friday tho-â
He cuts you off.
âIâm looking at the system now and your membership actually expires tomorrow. You signed up for a 6 month contract and well⊠its been 6 months.âÂ
He was telling the truth, but he was coming off as desperate.
âOh. Um, Its my lunch break right now, I guess I could quickly come in to renew. Iâll be there soon.â
You both mutter a quick farewell before ending the phone call.
âSounds like he really wants to see you.â
You walk into the gym, feeling slightly uneasy dressed in your work clothes, your heels sinking into the padded floor. You immediately spot Jungkook who was currently with a client at one of the machines, a young woman who looked like she didnât really need to be in the gym, but thats probably what hard work and dedication gets you. Results. He was dressed casually as always, a t-shirt and baggy shorts. This time a beanie encased his raven locks. You rip your gaze away from the two of them and head to the front desk. A young man greets you, you read his name tag âNamjoonâ. He was tall, buff and oh so handsome. Was that the requirement to work at this gym?
How can I help you today?â Namjoon asks.
âHi, I need to renew my membership.â You start.
The man smile, his dimple becoming more prominent with every tooth that displays.
âSure, whatâs your name?â His fingers ready to enter your information into the computer.
You give him your name, placing your handbag on to the counter to find your ID just incase.
Namjoonâs eyebrows reach his hairline and his yells for Jungkook. Youâre startled at the sudden outburst. You look up at him in confusion. He gives you a curt smile before backing away from the counter and jogging over to Jungkook. You follow him with your eyes as he approaches Jungkook. Youâre unable to hear their conversation as a count of the the loud music and the distance. You see Jungkook turn to his client and she dismounts from the machine and takes a swig of water. The two men exchange a few words before Jungkook heads your way. He approaches you with a gleaming smile on his face. You return a shy grin.
He jogs behind the counter.
âIs there a problem? Couldnât Namjoon, is that his name? Couldnât he do it?â You tilt your head in wonder.
Jungkook felt a pang of jealousy in his chest, he didnât enjoy the fact that you seemed to want Namjoon to assist you when he was right there.
You notice his eyes flicker and his smile falter.
âYou looked busy, I didnât want to bother you.â You reach your hand out in defence.
His smile returns at its luminescence.
âIts no bother. I was expecting you.â Types in your information into the system and prints out a new contract. He quickly turns around to grab the sheet of paper from the printer. You take the time to admire his back, the image of his shirtless back flashing through your mind.Â
Your thoughts are interrupted when he puts the contract down on the counter and gestures to the pen perched in itâs stand. He tells you where to sign. You quickly sign and date on the dotted line before handing it back to him.
âDo you want to grab dinner tonight?â He asks.
Youâre taken aback by the sudden invite.Â
Before you could respond, Jungkookâs client saunters over to the two of you.
âKookie, are we going to finish the session?â She leans on the counter, and you take the opportunity to take a glance at her body. She had the physique of a dancer, or a model. She was definitely on someoneâs (your) vision board.
You werenât an overly insecure person, but thats was mostly because you kept to yourself and limited your use of social media. But in times like these, when you unintentionally comparing yourself to another woman who was just simply existing in the presence of a good looking man. You wrap your blazer around your waist trying to shield your shape as you feel her eyes dart up and down your body.
âYeah give me one second.â He doesnât turn away from you.
Jungkook was about to open his mouth, when the lady interrupts;
âHeâs really good. Heâll get you into shape in no time! He also offers meal plans, if he hasnât told you already.â She gives you the once over one more time.Â
You feel yourself fold in. Your shoulder slump and chest caves in. You suddenly become aware of your body and how different it was in comparison to all the people in the gym. In comparison to Jungkook, who was seemingly trying to ask you out right now. You thought of his intentions. Was he trying to garner more business for the gym? Was he going to take you out and suggest that you sign up for more PT sessions? Or maybe he was simply doing his job? And he asked all his clients out to dinner so he could monitor their eating habits?
Or MAYBE it was worse; and he got a kick of leading innocent woman into thinking they had a chance with men like him. And all the people at the gym knew it?
âClara, Iâll be over in 5 minutes. Namjoon is gonna take over for a while.â He gestures over to Namjoon, who was leaning against a machine, patiently waiting for her to return.
She scoffs before walking away, making a point to sway her hips as she walks away. Jungkook rolls his eyes and looks back at you, a smile resting on his visage.
âAre you free tonight?â He asks, his eyes grow with hope.
The hope soon dissipates when he watches your face distort with uncertainty.
âLook, I donât want you to go above and beyond for me. I just want to get used to coming to the gym first. Um⊠I know Iâm not a supermodel but-.â He stops you.
âWhat?â He brows furrow in confusion. He runs through the past few minutes in his head and wonders where he may have misled you. He knew he sometimes had the misfortune of mixing up his words and confusing people, but he honestly didnât think he mixed up his words this time. He barely spoke.
âI appreciate your help, but please donât feel obliged to go outside the boundaries of the gym t-.â He cuts you off again.
âBoundaries?â He questions.
You swallow the hard lump that had formed in your throat, you already felt small, but you felt yourself becoming smaller.
âYeah. I know you offer âmeal plansâ. But we donât have to go out for dinner in order for you to sell them to me.â You choke out.
Jungkookâs eyebrows raise and his mouth drops open.
âI-I. No.â Is all he can say.
âNo?â
âNo. I want to take you out because I like you. Well I like what I know of you. I want to get to know you. I think youâre gorgeous by the way.â The last part comes out under his breath.
Youâre lost for words, you donât know whether you should apologise or question his response.
âI didnât mean to make you uncomfortable. I wanted to wait until after our sessions were done so you didnât get the wrong impression.â He looks down at his shoes.
You felt so bad, jumping to conclusions, you were the one who forced to ask you sooner. He was trying to make you comfortable, he never said anything about your appearance or made you feel any less than. You forced your insecurities on a really nice guy, who showed a little interest in you.Â
âIâm sorry. Maybe I should get another trainer. And Iâm-â His gaze meets yours, eyes wide.
âNo, no! I still want to be your trainer and take you out! I just hope I didnât give you the wrong impression. I really like you.â
You shift in your spot, clutching your bag.
He pulls his phone from his pocket and taps the screens a few times. He shows you the screen.
âLook, if you donât want to get dinner, which I understand. Lets go here. Its a painting cafe, its open til late night and they have drinks. Its really chill. You mentioned in our first session how you wanted yo do something creative, right?â
You smile, he was seemingly trying so hard.
âOkay.â You say, coyly.
He beams.
âOkay?â
You nod.
âIâll meet you outside at 6:30?â He locks his phone and slides it back into his pocket.
âOkay!â You smile before turning around and walking away.
This time, Jungkook watches you walk away, failing at containing the smile that had exploded on his face.
Jungkook knew his last client of the day felt rushed, he didnât bother with the final stretches like he usually does, he didnât even bother to jokingly flirt with the 75 year old woman like he usually did either. He aided her in putting the 2kg weights back on the rack before running into the menâs changing room, stripping and jumping into the shower.Â
He scrubbed his body head to toe, making sure to get rid of the grime from the day.
Before he knew it, he was waiting outside of the building, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He catches a glimpse of his reflection and he immediately fixes his hair, one strand would not stay in its place, he knew he needed to use more hair gel. He shouldâve asked Jimin if he could use a little more.Â
Staring through the glass, he saw you coming, caught up in the crowd of people who were dying to get home.Â
Finally, you come through the doors and walk up to him. You greet him brightly, hoping he canât hear the nerves plaguing your voice.
He beams at you and asks about your day. He informs you that the place wasnât too far away and was in walkable distance.
The start of the date was awkward, as expected, no more than a few words at a time being exchanged. He was ever the gentleman, before picking out a design for your canvases, he helped you out with your apron. You fought to keep your knees from buckling as he came in close from behind to tie the back. You do the same for him, the height difference, between the two of you becoming ver present, as well as the broadness of his back.
The host lead you two a secluded room, as you both clutched your chosen designs in hand. The room was quite romantic, low lighting, except for the luminous light surging each easel. There was a table separating the two chairs, displaying the paint and the brushes. You glance at Jungkook and see the look of glee.
You both place the canvases on the easels and take your seats. The host, takes place in front of the two of you.
âYou have 2 and a half hours, you are free to use all the material here. If you need anymore, please press the call button.â She gestures to the button, stuck to the end of the table, covered in the paint bottles.
She continues;
âThis is an evening painting session, so we now serve wine at the bar. Selective dishes are also available to order. Coffee and snacks are still available. And⊠please refrain from any inappropriate behaviour, or you will be asked to leave and banned from the premise. We do have CCTV in each room.â She offers an awkward smile and swiftly leaves the room.
Jungkook hopes you donât think that he brought you here for illicit reasons. Maybe youâd think he was one of those sleazy guys who take women to private rooms and try it on with them. Shit. You havenât said anything. Shit. He hasnât said anything. Heâs been in his head for the past few seconds.
âI hope Iâm not bad at this.â You say, breaking the silence, with a light laugh.
He turns to you and smiles, picking up a paintbrush and offering it to you. You take it and return the smile.
From then on, the date runs smoothly. You both decide to order a bottle of wine and share a plate of pasta. One bottle turned into two, and the room was filled with laughter and stories. The misunderstandings of the afternoon long forgotten. Before you knew it, a voice came through a small speaker, you didnât know was there, reminding you that you had 10 minutes left.
In a burst of tipsy laughter, the two of you hurriedly finish your paintings.Â
Picking up your painting and Jungkook to the âdrying stationâ, located, near the entrance. You both remove your paint covered aprons before attending to your paintings once again. You take a peek at his masterpiece before you flick on the hairdryer.
âHow are you real?â You ask in disbelief.
He tilts his head in confusion.
âYou look amazing, youâre nice, and you can paint. What canât you do?â You giggle.
He laughs and shakes his head.
âNo, no. I- You- I mean thank you. But I think the same about you.â He says quickly turning on his hairdryer, aiming it at his picture.
The hum of the machines fill the room, echoing your laughter that once filled your ears. Your ears, that were now flushed with flattery.
The hostess takes both paintings, wrapping them up carefully, and handing you both your respective bags. She taps on the register, reading off the total bill. You reach in your bag to find your card, yeah, it was a date, but you felt strange standing there as Jungkook paid for something that couldâve easily been a platonic date⊠Your thoughts are interrupted.
âDo you want the receipt?âÂ
âHuh?â The sound slipped out.
Jungkook looks at you before answering.
âNo thank you. Thank you, have a nice evening.â His free hand grabs yours and he guides you both outside.
So⊠not a platonic date then.
The street was much busier than it had been than when you had arrived. It was filled with people unwinding after a long day at work, ready for the weekend. It was also littered with loved up couples, holding hands, looking for places to eat, talking to each other about who knows what. If anyone were to look at the two of you, they would think you were one of those lovelorn couples. The way your hand fit in his, pace matching his, laughter mixing harmoniously with his.
âThank you for tonight. I had so much fun.â You pull him to a stop, pulling him into a side road, away from the foot traffic.
Jungkook feels his heart swell, he was so happy. He felt like it went well, but to hear you say it? Made him feel like he was flying. To think that a few hours ago, it was all almost slipping away from him. He found himself drawn to you, he couldnât explain it. He always believed that thatâs how heâd find his âpersonâ. It would just feel right. And it does.
âMe too. Thank you for giving me a chance.â He takes both your hand in his, eyes growing double in size.
You didnât think it was possible for a man like him to look cute, but here he was, with his eyes shining, looking down at you. Looking as adorable as ever. You move closer, you were aware of your actions, but you also knew that the wine you drank was giving you the courage to do what you were about to do.
âI would like to k-â
âYes.â A puff of air tickles your lips, as he closes his eyes.
He doesnât feel anything.
He opens his eyes and steps back.
âOh Iâm sorry, I as-â
You pull him in and plant you lips on his. Its not perfect, you miss slightly, you feel his lips curl into smile. His hand leaves yours and meets your waist, bringing you in closer, he readjusts his lips on yours. His lip rings indenting into the plum flesh of your bottom lip. You have the sudden urge to feel it on your tongue. You swipe your tongue along his bottom lip, letting it tease the metal accessory for a few milliseconds before slipping it into his mouth. A low growl rumbles in his throat and he tangles is tongue with yours. Your hand finds its way to the back of his neck, fingers delving into the hair at the nape of his neck. His hand wonders from your waist to your lower back, fingers inching closer to your behind.
The sound of a throat clearing brings you to a halt.
You separate, the rustling of your bags, sounding like teens laughing at their peers being caught making out at a high school house party.
âWe should uh⊠get going.â You say, using your fingers to wipe the saliva from your mouth.Â
Jungkook licks his lips and nods. You were more than ready to go about being awkward and distant but that was never his plan, he grabs your hand and walks with you like heâd been kissing you like that.
He walks you back to the work building and calls you a taxi. You both bid each other a sweet goodnight, exchanging smiles and hugs before parting ways.
Jungkook makes sure to text you as soon as he watches your taxi drive down the road, telling you how much he enjoyed spending time and how he hopes he could do it sometime soon.Â
Your heart jumps at the sound of your phone vibrating in your bag. It does backflips as your eyes take in his words. For the second time that evening you ask him;
You: How are you real? đÂ
He smiles to himself as he heads home, he snaps a quick picture of himself and sends it.
Jungkook đ: Very real and all yours lol
He immediately regrets sending it. Fingers scrambling, he sends a second message.
Jungkookđ: If youâll have me đ„ŽÂ
He must be playing a joke on you, right? What does this tall, handsome, funny, sweet PERSONAL TRAINER want with you? Heâs seen you, right? Heâs seen the other women who go to his gym, right?Â
Jungkook looks at his message and sees the â1â disappear. You read it. And you werenât replying. He came on too strong. Great, he ruined the perfect evening.
Just as about he was about to type out an apology, your message pops up.
You: Do you have a fetish or something?
He furrows his eyebrows. Figuring texting is messing up true feelings, he presses the voice call button.
Your eyes widen when you see his name on your screen. You pick up.
âHi.âÂ
âHey. Fetish?â He gets right to it.
âYeah. You knowâŠâ Your voice comes out as a whisper.
He stops walking, he sits on a bench.
âI donât know. To be honest, Iâm very confused.â
You felt so embarrassed. You let your insecurities get the best of you and sabotage this relationship before it had the chance to even start.Â
âJungkook. Youâre you andâŠâ
You pause. You feel your eyes water.Â
âIâm me. Iâm not in the best shape and Iâm not skinny or have a perfect hourglass figure. Iâm definitely heavier than you.â You let out a dry laugh.
âIâm struggling to understand and believe that you like me. And that this isnât some sort of sexual thing.â Your breath shakes.
Jungkookâs brows are now in permanent furrowed state, that never crossed his mind. Of course it didnât because he didnât think of you like that.
He says your name. It was different from the way youâve heard it said by other guys before when youâve brought up the same issue. He didnât say with defeat or dipped in grease. It was usually followed by âyou should take it as a compliment, I think big girls are sexyâ. âI wanted to see what it was likeâ
Jungkook said nothing of the sort;
âIâm me and youâre you. I like you. I like everything about you. Well, what I know so far, I want to know more. I want to go on more dates, I want to see where this goes. Hopefully it can go far. Iâd really like that. And you may not understand why I like you, but you donât have to right now, Iâll show you. Iâm sorry if a guy has made you feel like youâre a plaything and not likeable. I wish I could punch him.â
You laugh.
âI like hearing you laugh. I want to be the reason for that. Thank you telling me how you feel and not just ghosting. I appreciate it. â You could hear him smile through the phone.
He couldnât be real. But you had to tell yourself he was or youâd fuck it up.
âThank you for not being weirded out.â You sniffle.
He laughs.
âAfter kissing me like that? Iâm locked in.â
2 months later
Jungkook was a very understanding and patient boyfriend. He mustâve gotten a lot of practice from his job as a personal trainer. He pushed you to try new things, go to new places, but he always made sure you were comfortable. He was a living manifestation of your dream man.
He had asked you to be his girlfriend during your 5th and final training session. You were stretching together, he had your leg stretched out and next to your head (definitely not gym approved), when he âpopped the questionâ. You agreed very quickly and kissed him, only for the kiss to be interrupted by âClaraâ, the client who was convinced that she was playing the long game with Jungkook.
She lets out a loud gasp before storming out of the room.
âI think I may have lost you a client. Sorry.â You giggle.
He pecks your lips and releases your leg.
âBut I gained a girlfriend.
Jungkook invites you over for a movie night after work on a Friday night. Heâs ever the gentleman, he waits outside the building, takes your bag and holds your hand the entire walk to his house. You had been over to apartment on several occasions. But never for an overnight stay, for a moment or two before heading out. You head to the bathroom, taking your overnight bag, you wash off your makeup, change out of work clothes and into a oversize shirt and sleep shorts. Neatly folding your clothes back into your bag, you head back out into the living room.
He looks up at you as you place your bag under the breakfast bar.
âYou look cute.â He smiles, cutting up strawberries into a bowl.
You walk up next to him, your brushing up his broad back and wrapping around his waist. You kiss his cheek.
âThank you.â You kiss his jaw.
You were both quite wary when it came to physical intimacy, youâd cuddle, hold hands and occasionally kiss, but things were moving very slowly. You wondered if he was even attracted to you (you tried to push the bad thoughts to the back of your head) , as he rarely ever initiated contact. You were still trying to come across has chill and nonchalant, but the truth was⊠you were horny. You wanted to jump his bones every time you saw him, he was gorgeous. He had been bragging about a delicious dish that he learned to make, and how excited he was to show you. You were a bit reluctant about accepting the invite, youâd been to his apartment before, but for only a few minutes at a time. You had never spent time with him in his house with access to a bed.
You help him cook, despite him telling you to sit down. You both sit down and enjoy the meal, sharing laughs and stories from the day. After eating, you wash up together, feeling very domestic.
Drying your hands, you shyly you ask;
âShould we watch a movie?âÂ
Jungkook dries the last bowl and smiles, that shy smile that you adored so much.
âSure, the remote is on the couch. Pick whatever.â
You place the dish towel down ever so carefully, the silence lingering in air before you speak.
âI uh was thinking we could uh watch it in your bedroom. If youâre comfortable of course.â You pick the towel up once more, wringing it in your hands, palms turning red.
He notices your hesitation, places the bowl in the cabinet, gently pulls the towel out of your hands and wraps his arms around you. You immediately relax into the hug.
âDonât be nervous to ask for things like that. I want to cuddle with you wherever. Itâll be nice.â
Before you knew it, you were under the sheets with Jungkook on top of you, lips locked, legs too, entangled in a heated position. One arm was around his neck and one was around his tiny waist, sneaking up his shirt. He moaned into the kiss, the deep guttural sound causing a pool arousal to soak your underwear. His large hand had naturally made its way on to your breasts, he has growled at the feeling of your braless tits in his hand. His other hand was above you, resting on the pillow. He let his body rest on you a little, increasing your temperature ever so slightly. You gasp into his mouth, feeling something firm pressed against your stomach. He kisses your lips once more before moving to your cheek, down to your jaw and then your neck, sucking your skin slightly. You werenât a particularly vocal person in bed, but his actions were making hard for you to keep quiet, involuntary whines escaping your body.
âI-Iâm h-hot.â You whimper.
He smirks.
âYeah, you are.â
You snort.
âNo~ Iâm literally hot, can we take off the blanket?âÂ
âOh.â He laughs and flips the blanket off, rolling to the side of you, leaning on his elbow.
He stares at you. Before you could ask a question, his lips are on yours again. His hand cups your jaw. You kiss him back fervently, your hand
He pulls away, lips a hairbreadth from yours. His hand travels down your body, caressing your breast, squeezing your waist. Which makes you tense up. Your waist and stomach were areas that you were self conscious about, it felt like he was squeezing your flaws.Â
Think about something else. Thinking about something else.
He feels you go stiff.
âAre you okay?â He asks, lips pink and swollen.
You nod.
âJust touch me.â You grab his hand and place it on your waistband.
He bites his lips, without breaking eye contact, his fingers disappear into your shorts. He touches you over your panties first. He moans at the feeling of the soaked material.
âYouâre so wet. All for me?â He smirks, eyebrows raised.
Your breath gets caught in your throat as he moves your panties to the side and his thumb meets your clit, fingers gliding over your folds. He takes his time before curling his long fingers into you, causing your to moan out in pleasure, wrapping your fingers around his wrist. He slowly fucks his fingers into you. The room is filled with the crude wet sound of your heat and the murmur of the voices of the long forgotten movie playing on TV.
Youâve never sounded like this before, unintelligible sounds tumbling from your lips as he pumps his digits in and out, hitting that place deep inside you.
âY-yourâe gonna make me c-â You kiss him and place your hand on his bulge that had been growing.
He hisses, bucking into your hand. He takes his fingers out of you and hurriedly removes your shorts and underwear. You barely have time to think when his mouth meets your centre. His thick tongue licks you up, sucking on your pearl, like the best candy heâs ever tasted in his life. Your hands shoot out to grab his hair as you shake. You grunt out his name as you cum, eyes rolling to the back of your head, you try to catch your breath.
Jungkook rises to his knees and rips off his shirt, you catch a glimpse of his adonis like body before his kisses you. How were you in bed with someone who looks like that? Even though you had just felt like jelly, your brain tells your body to tense up. You kiss him back, trying your best to push the thoughts away, but as your hand feel up his toned, muscular physique, it was getting harder to fight them away.
Jungkook feels you tense under his touch. He pecks your lips before pulling away.
âAre you okay?â He asks, brown eyes glistening.
You nod and try to push the intrusive thoughts to the back of your mind. He raises his eyebrows, non verbally questioning you. You nod once again and presses your lips against his. He moans and kisses you back passionately. His hands wonder again, gripping your waist and pulling you closer to him. Your muscles tense once again. He feels you go stiff, he pulls away again.
Your eyes remain closed, scared to look at him. Youâve really fucked up now, he probably thinks youâre weird, and he probably regrets giving a âfatâ girl a chance.
âYouâre not okay. Tell me whatâs wrong baby.â He moves closer to you and brushes hair out of your face, but then he quickly retracts.
âDo you not want me to touch you?âÂ
You open your eyes, not daring to look at him, your stare tasering in on every detail of his bedroom ceiling.
âIâm sorry if I m-â
âNo! I just have- Iâm just⊠All I keep thinking of is what you must think.â
He looks at you puzzled.
âWhat I think?â
You take a deep breath and sit up, pulling your legs into yourself.
âYou mustâve been with girls who have insane bodies, and you work at a gym for godâs sake! And now youâve got to tolerate me. I donât wanna put you off by taking off my shirt.â You ramble.
Jungkook barely keeps up with your words, he wants to grab you and tell you that youâre beautiful, and that he is more than attracted to you. But he didnât want you to feel uncomfortable, you were literally telling him how you were uncomfortable you were with him touching you. Well, you didnât say that explicitly but he didnât want to push you further.
Him just sitting there was making you more anxious, maybe he had been hiding his true feelings. He did find you repulsive, maybe he was being kind and didnât know how to let you down gently.Â
Without sparing a glance his way, you attempt to get off the bed. He stops you, hand gently landing one your thigh. You stare down at his tattooed fingers, slightly gripping, leaving dents in your skin.
âDonât go. I think youâre gorgeous. L-like the most beautiful woman Iâve ever seen. That Iâve ever had the privilege to meet, to date, to kiss⊠To touch.â
You scoot back on the bed, eyes never leaving his.
âN-now I understand if you donât wanna stay the night anymore, but.. I really want you to stay. And we donât have to do anything, I wonât even touch you. I can sleep on the couch if that would make you more comfortable.â
He moves his hand towards your face, fingertips hovering over your cheek, scared to brush your hair out of your face.
âEven if you want to leave, please donât leave thinking that I donât want you or that Iâm not attracted to you. You are perfect to me and it sucks that guys have made you feel like you arenât the most beautiful woman in the world. â
You look into his eyes and you can feel his sincerity. You lean into his open hand, letting his palm warm your cheek.Â
âI-i want you to touch me. I want you to want to touch me.â
Jungkook grabs your face and kisses you.
âI do want to touch you. I want to do more than that. But I want you to feel more than comfortable with that.â
You kiss him, deepening the kiss before he even has the chance to pull away. You wrap your arms around his neck and you fall back, pulling him on top of you.
He rolls you both onto your sides and places his hands firmly on your hips. He moans into your mouth, sending heart down between your legs. You clench around nothing and rub your legs together, in an attempt to relieve yourself.
Jungkookâs hand brushes your thigh, as if he was asking for an invitation inside. You spread to let him in, his fingertips once again dance along your folds, becoming slick with arousal. He toys with your hardening nub, making you twist and turn. His mouth detaches from yours and land on your neck. He licks and kisses a spot that makes it impossible to keep quiet. Your arms wrap around his body, nails digging into the taut skin of his back. His fingers tease your opening before plunging in deep. His fingers move smoothly and quickly, pulling egregious noises from your lips. He feels you tighten around his fingers.
âAre you gonna cum for me again? Soak my fingers?â He whispers in your ear.
You feel a burning flash run through your body as you let go and experience release. You come undone and as you do, he presses his lips against yours, licking into your mouth. He gently pulls his fingers out of you and brings his fingers to his lips, alternating between kissing you and tasting your release.
Breath heavy, you snake your hand down between your bodies, fingers brushing his hardness in his boxers. He shudders. It had been a while since he had had sex. People perceived him as a hardcore fuckboy but he was truly the opposite. He wanted to be in a relationship, truthfully, thatâs the only way he could cum, knowing the person beneath him was âhisâ.
âI donât think Iâm gonna last. I-Iâm sorry.â He breathes out.
You smirk before pushing him back onto the bed and kneeling next to him. You bend at the waist and place a kiss over his boxers. His breathing gets heavier, chest heaving, abs clenching.
You palm his length before pulling him out and taking him into your mouth. You both moan as you sink deeper and feel him it the back off your throat. You suck gently, pulling off to lick at his tip.
His hand lands on the back off your head, slowly coming around to stroke your cheek. You maintain eye contact as you bob up and down. His eyes roll to the back of his head and he throws his arm over his eyes, unable to control his body as the pleasure takes over.Â
Suddenly, he gently pulls your hair, forcing you off of him.
âIâm gonna cum. I wanna feel you.â He confesses.
He sits up and reaches over to open his bedside table draw. You watch as he pulls out a foil packet. Expertly, he rips it open and slides the condom over his length. He turns back to you, encouraging you to lay back on the bed.
You lay back, and part your legs. He lines up with your core and gently pushes in. He hisses out a few curse words as he feels. You tighten around him. He almost collapses with how good it feels.
âSo fucking tight.â He says through gritted teeth.
His grip on your hips tightens as he rocks back and forth. His tip hitting a spot in you that makes you scream in pleasure. He leans over you, encouraging you to hold on to him.
You both find a steady rhythm, moans reaching a crescendo as you explode. He follows shortly after, you feel the warm fill the condom. He rolls off you and next to you on the bed.Â
âY-you are so sexy. Fuck.â He breathes out, chest heaving.
You laugh and turn to look at him.
âThank you. I think you are too.â You reach out and brush his slightly damp hair out of his face. The angles of his chiseled face glisten more with the assistance of the tin layer of sweat that had formed on his skin.
He scoots closer to you and pecks your lips before getting up to get rid of the soiled condom that has become baggy with the deflation of his length.
You watch his figure as he heads into the bathroom.
You sigh a sigh of happiness. You might never be completely happy with yourself but you hope you can be happy with him and learn to love yourself as much as he might.
Hope you enjoyed this! Once again, no mean message please :)
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Iâm still very much knee-deep in the âNooo I canât do this or that for no reason at allâ swamp and I do still have some problems truly letting myself do so but I think my life has significantly improved since Iâve started to realize that being an adult with your own money Really Genuinely Is about indulging
#Trying to wrestle my own fake social rules in the sense that I really need to understand that you can indulge Whenever You Wanna#There's no limit on it#If you have the money and the ability#Fucking do it#Let yourself live girlie it's fun to do things that make you happy#Even if you're just letting yourself buy strawberries every day of the week#Fuck it! I can!
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KEEPER!
SYNOPSIS! âž» youâve fallen for your darling bodyguard, and youâre over the moon to discover that he feels the same. but this feels borderline forbidden . . . for just how long can you keep what you have with reiner under wraps?
CONTAINSâž» ( 5k+ words of . . . ) bodyguard!reiner x fem!reader (black coded), fluff, nsfw, modern au, scion!reader (descending from a rich family/influential bloodline), hyperfeminine âgirly-girlâ reader, reinerâs german, mutual pining, secret relationship / sneaky link, public display of affection (pda), food play, car sex (unprotected), slight dacryphilia, creampie, use of pet names ( e.g. mama, baby, honey, princess), reader calls reiner â papa, â explicit language, lowercase intended, minors shoo!
MY LOVE LETTER! âž» this post is an answer to an anonymous ask: â what about secret dates (turned sneaky links) with body guard! reiner??? â oh. my. goodness! nonnie, youâre a sexy genius and you should know it. tagging the amazing @ramonathinks! sheâs the one who even introduced this bodyguard!rei-rei concept to me, and for that iâm so grateful :) ramona my love, thank you again for all the delicious reiner thoughts you always send my way! now enjoy, xoxo âĄïž
reinerâs your bulking shadow, never trailing too far behind.
heâs been hired by your parents to ensure your safety. nothing more, nothing less. heâll follow your every step and drive you wherever you please; after all, itâs what heâs paid to do.
things started off the way they shouldâ professional. from the very beginning, reiner knew to keep his distance, and that he did. but he soon realized just how hard that would become . . . youâre effortlessly gorgeous, sharp with your words and caring to a fault. his growing affection was only a matter of time.
nowhere on the criteria for the job does it say that he should be developing feelings. observing your habits, committing them to memory and predicting your behavior is the only thing heâs got any business doing. yet, he loves to feel the softness of your palm in his hand when he helps you into the backseat of your car, even if the contact is just for a split second at most. he finds himself peeking glances at you from the rearview mirror, soaking in how pretty you look when youâre unaware of his gaze. in truth, reiner wishes you didnât have such an effect on him; that would make work-life much easier on his poor soul. well, love isnât known for being simple, now is it?
it takes about four weeks on the job for him to grow a soft spot for you. reinerâs always been a hopeless romantic, oh-so quick to fall. heâd willingly lay down his life for the sake of your own, and not just because heâs getting a paycheck for it. thanks to the job description, his devoutness isnât questioned.
before long, reiner can tell youâre becoming attached to him as well. on a fateful night, he even overhears the phone call between you and your friend, something about â mister braun being so sexy that it hurts . . . â your bodyguard is nothing if not a man of dignity. he never meant to eavesdrop! itâs just that he's stationed outside your room for night patrol. heâs now especially glad about being up at five in the morning; he wouldnât have been able to hear this otherwise. your confessions pry a subtle grin from his lips. there he stands, smiling to himself in the dimly lit hallway where nobody can see him blush like a schoolboy.
â nuh-uh, i canât! that man works for my parents . . . heâs completely off-limits. it's a damn shame, isnât it? â you release a sigh, one so exasperated that he can hear it through the other end of the door. call reiner crazy, but it sounds to him like youâre yearning to have him all to yourself. in a sudden moment, you're emerging from the room, donned in a tiny pink nightgown. cute, but thin as fuck. leaves nothing to the imagination, even. itâs the flimsiest thing he's ever seen you wear.
reinerâs cheeks burn so red that is downright embarrassing, thankfully you're unable to see him. heâs quick to lift his head and look towards the ceiling insteadâ much more suitable than ogling the tits of his very own client. you wouldnât be able to catch him staring regardless, considering how the entire corridorâs tainted with darkness, but he wouldnât dare try to steal a peek anyway.
what he can see, though, is your leisurely smile as you tell him youâre headed to the kitchen to grab a cool glass of water.
âwould you like to escort me there too, mister braun? or can i go do something by myself for once?â
youâre playing with him, he realizes. just mere teasing meant to be absolutely harmless. your voice sounds much sweeter at this hour; soft and casual, coated lightly with fatigue from a busy dayâs schedule.
âas long as weâre indoors, you can go anywhere you like, madam.â says reiner, âiâll be here if you need me.â
you make your way to the refrigerator, prancing down the mansionâs luxe spiral staircase, and reinerâs rampant heart finally begins to calm. he wonders if youâd meant for him to hear you on that call. (by now, he knows just how cheeky you can be; it was definitely purposeful.) nevertheless, he's got a job to keep. neither your mother or father would respond kindly if they were to find out that he's become attached to you, or vice versa. he can hardly imagine playing the boyfriend when in reality, heâs supposed to be making sure nothing suspicious comes anywhere near a mile-long radius of you . . . itâs laughable! heâs sure your parents have more than enough money to make him disappear in the blink of an eyeâ that chilling fact alone puts him on his best behavior.
reiner decides to conceal it; the way he feels for you. keeps his back straight and arms folded to portray the unapproachable persona that got him hired in the first place. you eventually decide to question him over why he so-often wears that solid expression, â like he doesnât know how to smile, â is how you put it. itâs the very first time that you ever hear him laugh, and you turn out to like the sound. rumbly and full of bass. he couldnât bring himself to admit that in every waking moment, it takes everything to suppress his smile whenever he sees you.
eight months of being in his company brings you to notice that reinerâs a decent listener. he makes for a great conversation, too. sure, heâs just your bodyguard, but heâs got a good ear and a smooth voice. your talks with him are always so lovely; he gives you the comfort to open up about things youâd never be able to tell your parents. pride washes over him when you admit that heâs the only one you genuinely trust. and in these moments, reiner allows himself to get vulnerable too. he tells you of his love for football as a youth, how he takes combat classes five times a week, and that heâs got tons of sisters, brothers and cousins back home in the countryside. the pair of you are so different that the contrast could almost be considered terrible. though, the longer you stay in each otherâs presence, the less you can bring yourselves to care.
you and your bodyguard have grown . . . close, to say the least. the way youâre always latching onto his brawny form seems much more than friendly, especially to your parents. â i feel secure with him! â is your claim. theyâd beg to differ, but your wellbeing is enough to keep them satisfied. reiner excels at his job, and more importantly, the big blonde lug makes you happy. nobody theyâve hired in the past was ever able to get in your good graces; you utterly hated all your former bodyguards. they were much too controlling, lingered too close.
but mister braun was able to differentiate himself. he listens to your dreams and fears alike, treats you like a capable woman instead of some spoiled brat. it also doesnât hurt that heâs incredibly easy on the eyes . . .
reiner can no longer take it. the woman of his dreams is right in front of him, and thereâs not a damn thing he can do about it. the smoothest advance he can make is standing at your right side and slinking an arm around your waist, with claims of it being for your âprotection.â but the both of you know itâs only the proximity heâs chasing after. the way he looms beside you was always more self-indulgent than it was for safety. he just liked the closeness of it all.
he feels so much for you, and heâs virtually dying to tell you. but thereâs countless reasons why he shouldnâtâ particularly the risk of losing his job. every now and again, reiner chooses to be a little bit stupid, all consequences be damned. he works up the nerve to release his confession with slow and careful words. you quickly reciprocate, arms thrown around the back of his neck and tugging him into a cozy hug. he takes you by the waist and pulls you closer inâ god, heâs been wanting to do this for so long. reiner hums when your manicured fingers ghost his nape, nails grazing the ends of his hair, with your tits pressed to his own chest. the pair of you fit better than he ever couldâve imagined.
you donât know whether to call yours and reinerâs relationship â official â â can it really be deemed as such when youâre the only ones who know? you dare not mention this to your parents, âcause heâs got a job to keep and you couldnât possibly bear him not being around.
so, youâve both decided that itâll be a secret. shared only between you and him, so nobodyâs able to intervene. dating your bodyguard is funâ brief kisses being shared when youâre the only ones in the room. the way he snugly hooks his arm around your body when escorting you feels tighter, a little more intimate. in a way, keeping things under wraps feels exhilarating.
your particular relation with mister braun isnât verified to the outside world, but people are catching on. whenever you go out, reinerâs sure to follow. paparazzi-taken photos of you are occasionally uploaded to the internet, and itâs always a given that heâll be included. after several months of being seen together time after time, itâs typical of people to assume that this so-called â bodyguard â of yours is more of a boyfriend. they arenât too far off, but you clearly wonât go out of your way to confirm their suspicions. youâre always captured in a picture of you clinging onto his burly arm with a glossy smile. your sweet expressions contrast nicely with his forever-furrowed brows. heâs handsome in this intimidating way, the tabloids say.
itâs a slow-moving thursday when reiner decides to take you on your first date with him. he waits a good hour and forty-five minutes for you to get ready. heâs used to this, of course. by now, heâs got nearly a yearâs experience of waiting on you hand and foot. but tonight, his nerves get the best of him. you finish up when he least expects you toâ for fuckâs sake, you even catch him pacing in the goddamn kitchen. the sight of you melts his concerns, just a little. youâre done up glamorously from head to toe, and reiner canât contain his smile, nor hold back his stare. your light lashes are curled and wispy, with blush scattered along your cheekbones. your plush lips are pink with tint, and youâve got on this figure-hugging outfit that heâd love to tear off of you.
you scan your surroundings, peering at every angle of your spacious home in search of your parents. after ensuring the coast is clear, you engulf him in your arms, wishing you could kiss him but youâre all dolled up and your lips are lined and glossed. reiner nuzzles his nose into the crook in your neck, inhaling faint traces of your most beloved vanilla parfum.
âgod, you look so fuckinâ beautiful,â his whisper is soft against your warm flesh. you rub your hands along his broad shoulders, then slide them down his firm biceps. âand you look sexy in black,â you perk up at him, eyes round and gleaming. he loves you, heâs come to realize. and the last thing he wants is to screw this up . . .
heâs thinking too damn much. you can easily tell. itâs obvious in the way his thin blonde brows wire downwards like somethingâs wrong.
âreiner . . . stop it.â you order, voice serious. you only ever speak that way when you want his utmost attention. to that, he fixes his posture and stands tall as if heâs on patrol.
âstop what?â is his vague response, hands loosely positioned at either one of your hips. you lift your palms to cup his face, feeling the definition of his high cheekbones and firm jawline beneath your fingertips. heâs gorgeous, you think.
âfor one, youâre clenching your teeth,â you mention, caressing his rigid jaw line until the tightness lessens. his stubbleâs rough and scratchy, but it fits him so damn well. âand youâre frowing, baby.â next, your thumbs trail up to his brows, gently kneading at the creased arch. ârelax.â
âmâsorry,â reiner lets out, tone low and pleading. his hands rub at your sides in an anxious pattern. âitâs jusâ that youâre so important to me . . . i wanna do this right, yâknow?â
âi bet you will, rei. no need to worry, hm?â you shoot him a soft smile, and he returns it; one of the rare times you catch a glimpse of his nice and shiny teeth. ânow show me a good time, papa.â
right before taking your leave , your parents have questions for youâ almost too many. you donât have any business meetings or mall trips on your schedule, so where on earth is he taking you to? rei-rei claims that heâs bringing you to a new restaurant that youâve been meaning to try. heâll drive you there and stay on patrol; or so he says. they decide not to question the unusually neat way his blonde hair is slicked back, or how his black dress-shirt and slacks look sharper than usual. hell, he smells amazing too. it canât be denied that mister braun cleans up nicely.
see, reiner told a partial truth to your family. youâre on your way to a new german restaurant thatâs about twelve minutes out, itâs just that you wanted to try it out with him in particular. on the drive there, you just canât seem to restrain yourself from gazing at the man. reiner looks so put together like this, in a strapping black outfit thatâs snug against his arms, chest and thighs. his side profileâs flawlessâ heâs got a perfectly defined nose that slopes down to his lips, and you yearn to lick on his protruding adamâs apple. heâs got one hand on the wheel, merging into lanes and making u-turns, while the other thatâs unoccupied intertwines with your softer, smaller one.
upon reaching a red light, he takes the opportunity to lift your hand up to his face, trailing his lips along the back of it. âlieblich . . .â he murmurs something in his native tongue that you canât seem to understand, though you know its meaning is a sweet one. your grin makes him forget all about the risk heâs taking.
upon reaching your destination, reinerâs back in bodyguard-mode. thatâs how he gets whenever youâre in public. yes, youâre on a date, but your safety will forever be his number one priority. he escorts you in with a large hand fit snugly into the small dip of your back as he confirms the reservation. his touch never leaves you, not even for a second. he does that thing; where he takes a brief one-over of the area, scrutinizing his environment before making the next move. you go one, two, three stories up, to the VIP floor where your dinner seats reside.
itâs a lot, he knowsâ the velvet floors, fancy cream-white seats and glass-like walls that showcase an aweing view of the city. youâre more than used to the finer things in life, so the only thing he wants to give you is what you deserve.
youâre raving on about how nice everything looks, leaning back into your seat as you sip on a flute of sheer-pink rosĂ©. heâs relieved to know that he was able to make you smile tonight. a waiter presents themselves, and reiner effortlessly engages with them in german conversation. his words are smooth and fluid as he translates all the entrĂ©e and sides you asked for. even when placing a simple order, heâs still the sexiest man on earth. would now be a bad time to kiss the hell out of him?
the next three hours go by quick. youâre chatting and laughing and trying bits of each otherâs platters ( though, it's mostly you eating a over half of the food from his plate . . . ) you got yourself salted-caramel ice cream for dessert, and reinerâs mischievous enough to lean close and lick the dripping residue off the corner of your lips. you gasp at him and deliver a playful kick to his foot from under the table.
âwhat? you had somethinâ there.â is the given excuse for his rascal behavior. naughtiness twinkles in his golden-brown eyes. there arenât many people up here on the expensive floor, apart from two other occupied tables located on the other end of the room, and a handful of waiters that leave the kitchen every now and again. heâs lucky there isnât anyone to catch you both.
âyouâre crazy,â your laugh is infectious, âdonât make me return the favor.â
in a quick motion, reiner swipes a finger into the ice cream, his touch meeting a subtle cold. before the caramel gets the chance to melt all the way down the length of his digit, he smears some across his bottom lip. his tongue juts out to lick up the rest of the treat from his index finger.
âoh, please do.â
being away from probing eyes has made reiner bold as ever. you take him up on his request, tilting forward so that your tongue can eagerly swipe over his lips and wipe them clean. mostly sweet, just the tiniest bit salty. you want more of him already.
thereâs isnât a soul watching, so reiner escalates it. in an instant heâs got your lips merging, his hand squeezing your thigh from under the table, hot puffs of air escaping you both. âoh my godâ youâre gâna get me in trouble, rei!â
âso be it,â reiner mumbles in reply, his words ticklish against your lips. from underneath his fingertips, reiner senses how tightly you press your thighs together, hungry for friction. heâs even beginning to feel worked up himself. but, the pair of you havenât gone that far yet. the most youâve done are hour-long makeout sessions on your king-sized bed in the earliest points of the day, when you have enough privacy to get away with it. but you wouldnât mind feeling him in a new way tonight . . .
âyou wanna get out of here, donât you, mama?â reiner coos, cheeks rosier with his eyes slightly lidded. âmhm,â youâre quick to agree. so he puts the payment for the meal on his tab, takes your hand in his and leads you back down to floor one until youâre out of the building and back inside your window-tinted g-wagon.
mister braun is big. youâve always known it from his appearance alone, but fuck, it holds a much greater meaning when heâs got you tucked into the backseat of your mercedes with his slacks pulled down to his ankles and your dress strewn sideways, making a slow attempt to press himself into you.
âfuck. let me in, princess,â reinerâs grunt is low, throaty enough to make you clench. your flesh feels hot and your pussyâs leaking all over the coffee-brown suede seats. he knows well enough to play around with your clit, reveling in the noises you make when his pressure increases. simultaneously, his lips suction at the smooth flesh of your neck. it feels like youâre burning up, and heâs the only one who can quench your fire.
experimentally, his hips tilt forward, and another two inches make its way in. heâs only got his fat tip and then some past that dripping hole of yours, but itâll take much more to stretch you wide open for him. heâs groaning and muttering all sorts of profanitiesâ about how tight you are, how good you feel, how fucking nasty this is of you.
âcâmon, woman,â reiner sucks a sharp breath into his lungs, goading you on, âlemme fuck this tight pussy.â heâs got you dangerously aroused, done by the effort of a few dirty words. wetness dribbles down from your slit to the place you and reiner carnally join, slicking up his girthy shaft as he continues to break himself past your tight rings of muscle. you claw at his solid arms, basking in the stretch. his size is imposing, forcing you open to accommodate all of him. it burns in the best way possible.
âmâmore, papa,â you make out a pretty whine, knowing just how he loves your begging. youâve got your lips agape, kissed raw from reinerâs earlier advances. you grow restless and begin to rock your hips, aching to take the entirety of him.
âmm, donât worry, baby. iâll give it to you so good,â it takes a little more of reiner bucking his pelvis, movements careful and shallow, for him to finally make it in. heâs bottomed out, and you can feel the throbbing from his underside. having you wrapped around him feels so incredibly right. you clench rapidly, enveloping him in an incomparable warmth.
by the time heâs made everything fit, youâre a darling little mess. your hairâs gotten frizzy and your eyes are all big ân glassy, with your lower lip tucked underneath your teeth. one moan after another escapes you, streaming into his ears like liquid gold. reiner throbs at the sound of every little mewl. he licks away your tears which you hadnât even known began to fall, catching them before they can roll down the apples of your cheeks. you love the feeling, itâs just that thereâs so much of him to handle at onceâ his fat cock, searing-hot tongue, large roaming hands . . . he's this close to consuming you whole, and you want him to.
reinerâs attentive with the way he fucks you. out, in, the pattern goes, hips drawing back before he slams back into your shaking frame all over again. he hits so unbelievably deep every time, like the width of him canât help but prod against every spot you have. he manages to stimulate every inch of your walls, bumping every crook and ridge possible. not a part of you goes unattended to. reiner dips his head low to catch your beaded nipple between his lips, while his cock drives further inside and impels you to make more room, just for him.
as gentle as he may try to be, reinerâs undeniably a hefty man. taking it slow wonât make any difference; every deep plunge he makes into your cunt has the car creaking on its very own wheels.
âi fuckinâ love you,â he drops the heated words, punctuated with drilling thrusts; but the dickâs got you goinâ all dumb on him. itâs cute, he canât deny, but reiner needs you to know exactly what you mean to him. so he grips at your chin from either side and lightly squeezes your cheeks together, tender with care but steady enough to make your eyes uncross and focus on him alone.
âyou hear me? iâ goddamnit, love you more than anything. love you so much,â the deeper he pushes in, the less you can manage to breathe. you feel the pulsing of his cock in your tummy, and itâs like the tip snags so deep that it nearly lingers in your throat. you feel yourself bounce against the seat, tits jiggling whenever he sinks inside, draws out, and snaps right back into you. your gut feels tightly wound up, and your pussyâs become impossibly more sensitive.
youâre close, he can feel it. your walls flutter with more ardor than before, squishing against the base of him with a tightness gratifying enough to spur moans from deep within his chest. you even bring your hands down to claw at his asscheeks, firm and round to the touch; the perfect source of leverage.
ârâ reiner!â you cry out to him, and heâs sure his name hasnât sounded so good up until now. he wonders if you can actually hear yourself and just how slutty you sound. âyouâre close, arenât you, baby?â to that you nod, head bobbing desperately. you donât have to tell him, he knows. reinerâs knowledge is keen on the topic of you. what you like, what you donât, and when youâve had enough. now heâs truly taking his sweet time getting to know you from the inside out.
he presses a consoling peck to your forehead, maintaining that undoing pace of his. the repetitive âplatâ of his heavy balls smacking into your sticky cunt is dull compared to the huffing, panting and whining, but itâs there in all its vulgarity.
âooh, i know exactly what yâneed, princess. papaâs gâna take care of you . . . â reiner doesnât even say it above a whisper, just declares his devotion in the softest way he can. he slips a hand down the middle of your sweat-streaked bodies to bring some attention back to your precious clit, lewdly slick and much puffier than earlier. he gives swift strokes using the pads of his fingers, combined with the fluid roll of his hips, until you're arching into his broad chest and snapping your quivering thighs closed, trapping his wrist in between them.
reiner can unravel you with such ease, like he lives for the sole purpose of your pleasure and nothing else. you convulse against him, so he slows. but reiner hardly lets up. not completely, that way heâs able to ride you through it. he continues on, feeding you shallow thrusts to near his own high. his movements turn borderline erratic; thighs trembling, cock throbbing. heâs so close, âgonna cum,â his warning comes off as a groan, straight from the depths of his gut, erotic and primal. heâs clenching his teeth againâ this time, for good reason. âwhere do yâwant me?â
not a second is wasted before you plead, â inside! â and with that, youâve officially fucking broken him. never did he think his wildest dream wouldâve come true by the very first date. lucky mister braun, getting to fill you upâ especially when itâs what heâs been stroking himself to the thought of every other night. now, youâre practically crying for him to give it all to you. undoubtedly, he will.
he comes through one final, sloppy jerk of his hips. with a breathy grunt released into the carâs stuffy atmosphere , his warm seed spurts into you, tainting your womb. once reiner slips out, his thick cum pours down to present the most obscene view. itâs all so slippery, seeping down until thereâs a wet puddle of your and his making beneath your ass. reinerâs body goes lax, thoughtfully balancing himself over you with his face propped onto your boobs. itâs only now that he realizes, legs cramped up, that heâs a bit too large for the backseat.
â . . . i meant what i said earlier.â reinerâs voice comes off muffled, with his face stuffed between your tits and all. he looks adorable this way, gazing up at you with his lips curled into a slight pout. his arms loop your waist, snug and secure.
âmm, you said a lot of things earlier,â is your soft laugh, recalling his crude mouth and how worked up it made you. he allows you to rake your nails through his short blonde fringes.
âapplying for this gig is the best thing thatâs ever fuckinâ happened to me,â reiner makes an attempt to sit upright and show his conviction, but he ends up with his back hunched over in the restrictive space. he disregards his comfort and reaches for your hands, clasping them in his own. âi said that i love you . . . and i mean it.â his words are airy. heâs still winded from the sex.
âand i love you,â you mean it, too. with all your being. you love him in a way you've never loved anybody else. mister braun keeps you safe, sprinkles you with compliments, slips on your heels for you, puts you first. he makes you feel like this pairing has a chance, like you donât have to hide it. besides, he deserves your all. you should be proud to call him yours, and that you are.
reiner always wants your kisses. in the morning when you wake, right before dinner, and as youâve recently discovered, after sex too. youâre always eager to receive his lips pressed to yours. âi love you,â reiner adds in between pecks. he now says it like itâs second natureâ he loves you. it makes your heart leap from beneath your chest. he kneads your bare thighs in his palms, slowly gliding his tongue into your mouth. without shame, you moan against his lips. slivers of spit tether you both even after you part.
âi want everyone to know that we belong to each other, reiner . . . my family, too.â you admit, peering up at his handsome face through your curled lashes. youâve got your hands planted at his chest, feeling at the solidity of his pecs.
âtonight?â he asks, tone unsure.
âyes, tonight, rei!â
he adores your sudden zeal for honesty. he truly does, butâ
âmaybe another day would work better, princess,â reiner muses, âwhen your parents wouldnât kill me for all those hickeys on your neck.â
©PINKMIRTH! . . . all rights reserved! do not steal, plagiarize or repost any of my works. please and thank you! àšà§
#đđ đâŽđ⯠đđâŽđđŸâŻđ.á#reiner braun#reiner smut#reiner braun smut#reiner#reiner fluff#aot smut#snk smut#attack on titan smut#anime smut#reiner braun fluff#aot fluff#reiner braun x black reader#reiner x black reader#x black reader#x black reader smut#aot reiner#reiner braun x reader#reiner x you#aot#attack on titan#aot x reader#aot x reader smut#â„ â reiner!#bodyguard reiner#reiner x reader#reiner x reader smut#aot x black reader#ౚৠâ đđ đâŽđ⯠đđâŽđđŸâŻđ!#â (.reiner)
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ex's or not? cs55
summary: y/n and carlos once were the it couple, how are their lives after the breakup? did everyone move on?
warnings: writing this i was sick, i was done and i was ready to delete so enjoyy
i also was supposed to write part 2 to i'll be waiting but oh well...
y/njazzy
liked by lilymunihe, carmenmundt, and 65 000 more
y/njazzy Prague you've been great, next up my beloved Vienna đ
comments
y/nstan mother is GLOWING
lilymunihe music to my ears (literally) đ«¶đ«¶
y/njazzy i'm blushing đ đ
alexandrasaintmleux i haven't heard you play for agesss, see you in Vienna ig
y/njazzy and whose fault it is?? clearly not mine missy
alexandrasaintmleux oh look at the time, i have to go !!!
chillis the post breakup glow up is reaaal
loverofy/n can we expect some album soon queen?
charlesleclerc exactly @/y/njazzy, care to share with the class???
y/njazzy i will not confirm nor deny
y/njazzy and lord perceval do not push my limits. besides, if you would honour me with your presence, you would know. the choice is yours
charlesleclerc no comment.
user1 she calls him the way that carlos does...
jazzychill she looks so hot in red đ„
chillistan don't you find it weird that after all charles is in her comments?
y/nfan through all the years y/n was with carlos, she formed a friendship with charles (especially with carlos in ferrari) and other people from the paddock, so it's nothing weird
jazzlover besides, alex and y/n are besties, no?
y/nlos do you remember how carlos would always melt when y/n wear red??? because i do.
carlossainz55
liked by landonorris, charlesleclerc, y/njazzy, and 2,093,728 more
carlossainz55 đ¶đâïž
comments
soylago ON MY KNEEEES
charlosfan what do they feed our drivers, he and charles are soooo hot
chillis the second photo, two plates, carlos sainz is that a date?
landonorris and where are pics from our little golf tournament đ€đ€đ€ oh, maybe they aren't here because YOU LOST AHAHAHAHHA
carlossainz55 cabron we all know you cheated.
landonorris what a sore loser we have here
charlesleclerc do you remember when we played uno once?
maxverstappen i wonder why you played uno only once
charlesleclerc lando almost lost an eye
landonorris I ALMOST DIED, HE TRIED TO KILL ME
carlossainz55 do NOT listen to them, those situations did not happen
carlossteponme Y/N LIKED???!!
y/nfan they actually still like eachothers posts, i believe they said something about mutual breakup and that there's no hard feelings between them
y/njazzy
liked by yourbestie, lilymunihe, and 64,728 more
y/njazzy new project coming up đ
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landonorris tell me who he is.
y/njazzy noâ€ïž
landonorris and why exactly ???
y/njazzy i'll tell you, you'll tell oscar, oscar will tell logan, logan alex, and then magically the whole grid will know
landonorris you won't even tell your best friend?
y/njazzy you're talking about yourself or ?
landonorris PARDON #exbesties #friendshipover #offended
y/njazzy WAR IS OVEEEER
landonorris bye.
lilymunihe A MAN? A MAN? A MA-A-A-AN
lilymunihe girlies to the gc riGHT IN THIS MOMENT
lilymunihe avengers ASSEMBLE @/alexandrasaintmleux @/carmenmundt
carmenmundt i think we've missed a chapter here...
y/njazzy alex didn't.
carmenmundt excuse me !
lilymunihe SHE DID WHAT
alexandrasaintmleux tf y/n? i thought i meant something to you?
y/njazzy if i'm going down i'm taking everybody with me đđđ
alexandrasaintmleux DO NOT QUOTE CHANDLER RN
user1 carlosy/nnation how are we feeling
user2 we don't.
user5 i have an idea...
user3 don't. don't give me hope
user7 fuck the guy NEW PROJECT IN THE MAKING ??? NEW MUSIC ???
user9 do i sense some movie soundtrack
liked by autor
user2 can you imagine
user5 Y/N LIKED !!!!!
carlossainz55
liked by maxverstappen, y/njazzy and 2,836,267
carlossainz55 getaway with mi amor
comments
charlesleclerc i pay my respects to her
carlossainz55 Âżdisculpe?
charlesleclerc for putting up with you đ
user carlos sainz jr i was NOT familiar
user1 which one of you bastards stole my man
reyesvdec â€ïž
user2 APPROVED BY MAMA SAINZ
user6 i miss her and y/n together in the paddock
user5 that's y/n. mark my words
user1 i truly aspire to be as delusional as you
y/njazzy she's a lucky girl
carlossainz55 im a lucky boy*
user8 y/n's comment? im dead
user3 carlos' response?????? i am crying, the boy really is in love
y/njazzy
liked by carlossainz55, reyesvdec and 482,471 more
y/njazzy love. love love love.
comments
user8 our girl is in loooove đ„č
alexandrasaintmleux match made in heaven
carmenmundt you compliment eachother so well đ«¶
landonorris you two are disgusting
y/njazzy jealousy, jealousy
user5 the luckiest girl???? i wonder why... maybe because she has carlos sainz
user ring ring, that's the mental ward calling for you
lilymunihe i'm heartbroken, how could you leave me
alex_albon execuse me? i'm right here??
y/njazzy lily it's just an act, let's run away together
lilymunihe i am ready to go
alex_albon HEY ITS NOT FAIR
alex_albon he can't even stand up for himself
carlosssainz55 he can
carlossainz55
liked by y/njazzy, landonorris and 5,839,821
carlossainz55 mi amor, you're the closest to heaven that I have ever been. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I promise to cherish you forever. I am so incredibly grateful for you and everything you do. I want to thank you for being there for me, even after we broke up. there is no one else on this earth taht i would spend my life with. you are my person, and I am yours.
comments
georgerussell mate leave something for us
alex_albon what I am supposed to do rn, lily won't let me in to our apartment
charlesleclerc gentelmen we are so finished
landonorris die lol đ
oscarpiastri yk that they can see you crying, right?
y/njazzy my one and only â€ïž
user can somebody check on user5
user5 I KNEW I WAS NOT CRAZY
user5 PARENTS ARE REALLY BACK TOGETHER
y/njazzy
liked by carlossainz55, reyesvdec and 171,729,819 more
y/njazzy the only ex i would ever come back to đđđ
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alexandrasaintmleux finally the ferrari girls are reunited
y/njazzy not for too long
alexandrasaintmleux foul
charlesleclerc too soon y/n, too soon
maxverstappen i won't even ask about the last pic
carlossainz55 the less you know the better you sleep
landonorris i cannot belive this is happening
y/njazzy sucks to suck ig
carlossainz55 only ex i couldn't move on from đ«¶đ«¶đ«¶
y/njazzy you flatter me
user1 the difference in the capitions pls âïž
#carlos sainz x reader#f1 social media au#f1 instagram au#carlos sainz fluff#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz smau#f1 smau#carlos sainz imagine#f1 imagine#formula one x reader
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Fem!MC X platonic Twst - missing the "girly" things.
General warnings: Fem reader, very Self-indulgent. If you don't relate, please keep scrolling along <3 not very proofread. No pronouns are used, but the concept of "girliness" and "girlhood" is very strong.
The boys have noticed their prefect act a bit different lately...a cloud of loneliness hovered over your head. As the only girl of Night Raven College, it was incredibly easy to feel left out and miss the things you were once interested in back in your world. You held a strong façade of prestige and uncaringness, but what happens when that mask begins to crack? How will the boys of NRC put your woes at rest? ...with a wonderful slumber party, of course!
First coming to Twisted Wonderland, not many could tell you were well-versed (Or at the very least, incredibly interested) in clothing, face Care, and jewelry. Although your personality screamed more or less "Gremlin" at times, and were a "well-known and respected honor student" all the same- you had a rather "girly" side to yourself.
However, you had limited options on having a non-existent budget, but a few of the students took notice of the longing in your eyes whenever you passed by something you desired to have back in your life. The cute earrings, the pretty dresses and skirts, the headbands...a mix of classy and modern, things of that nature.
The first time you were able to get your hands on a half way decent outfit that suited your tastes and you wore it out, others stared in shock. You were still the cheery and "weird" gremlin prefect that had crude humor and silly dance moves, yet something about seeing you in such...frills and 'flamboyance' was not what they were expecting. It suited you, though.
You soon found yourself being handed such outfits. Vil had taken it upon himself to gift you expensive brand outfits that he saw your eye when walking around town, Malleus gifting you a few outfits from Briar Valley that he felt would suit your tastes, Kalim gifting you the cutest earrings he had ever seen (little fruit charms, bows, all sorts of colors and unique charms). Even Riddle introduced you to tea cups that fit your aesthetic to decorate your kitchen with!
Though, the more they saw this side of you, an influx of confessions also came in toe. You were revered as the only female in school (who also managed to stay at the top of the score board, despite your magicless disposition). This came with the struggle of being pursued, more so after they could see just how cute you could dress yourself up.
Despite all these new changes, you felt a tinge of... sadness. You were happy that they were all willing to accept you with open arms and indulge in your desires such as gifting you the cutest of plushies, clothes, jewelry, decor... that didn't stop you from missing fun slumber parties, girl talk with friends, giggling about your love lives, sharing clothes and doing each others makeup and painting nails. You confided all of this to the number one group you could have possibly spoke to about these issues of yours.
the pop music club.
A knock came upon the door at odd hours of the night, upon opening it in your nightgown, you revealed quite a sight. Cater, Kalim, and Lilia along with a few other choice students were all in gorgeous nightgowns, their hair done up, holding blankets and pillows with hands full of bags of what you could tell were snacks, makeup, nail polish, and other slumber party commodities. With a bright smile on your face and a giddy giggle, you let them in gushing about their cute appearances. You all lay out the blankets and pillows in front of the TV in the lounge (kindly gifted to you by Idia) and pulled out the snacks and lay them out for everyone to grab at in their leisure.
"We aren't girls," Lilia pointed out, "But at the very least we can enjoy the things you mentioned before! Oh how I love a good love story, shall we share our love lives?"
"We can do that while we put on these face masks! Look, this one is a panda!" Kalim exclaimed, holding up a large bag of face masks and other types of...random things he thought would suit the party. (He pulled out one of those toe dividers for nail polish, he had no clue what it was but Jamil told him he would need it for later.)
"Oh, I brought you this super cute and frilly nightgown (y/n), Trey said one of his sisters didn't wear it anymore and he thought it would look good on you. Go! Try it on, Then we can take a BUNCH of magicam photos. Don't we look like pretty dolls?!" Cater gushed, handing you the night gown. You took it with grace and skipped away to your room, giddy and unable to hold back your excitement.
It wasn't long for more guests to arrive in frilly pajamas and cutesy hair accessories. A string of familiar faces entered, and you soon found yourself braiding the hair of Leona, Vil, Idia, Malleus, Silver...You were shocked to see even Epel made an appearance simply to make you happy.
"I learned how to braid a little bit," Silver smiled gently at you, "And a few other hairstyles. I would be happy to try them on you," He said. You looked at Silvers' perfectly French braided hair and makeup that made him look nothing less than an angel, you nodding in immediate trust. You soon had hair that was done so elegantly, adorned with flowers and gems.
"Let's be clear, I ain't a girl!...but.." Epel blushed, "I-if it'll make you happy...i'll let ya braid my hair. Just this once!"
Floyd and Jade even came along with their faces caked with makeup and the most flamboyant nightgowns you have ever seen, laughing away at their silliness.
"Look Floyd," Jade pointed at your makeup which was lightly placed on by his hand, "I told you these colors perfectly suits (y/n)'s skin." Floyd boo'd and insisted to take off the colors Jade had chosen, holding out the most...vibrant and interesting color palate to exist. You only laughed and backed away, shaking your head and begging floyd to leave your precious face alone.
They truly indulged in everything you had missed out on, even if they weren't your "girlfriends," they were so adamantly ready to try, simply to see you smile once more.
It was a night of snacks, makeup, nail painting, chick flicks, karaoke, gossiping, and frilly fun. You truly underestimated just how much the boys took a liking to you and wished to ease your worries and make you feel a little more at home, and you couldn't have asked for better friends than them.
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đđđđ„ đ°đąđđĄ đąđ â đđšđŁđą đđźđŹđĄđąđ đźđ«đš
đ°đŒđ»đđČđ»đ đđźđżđ»đ¶đ»đŽđ ⣠smut ( minors dni ), fem!reader, facefucking, deepthroat, it gets sloppy, tojiâs mean, degradation, noncon, failed tap outs, suggested age gap, all characters featured are aged 18+
đ¶đșđœđŒđżđđźđ»đ ⣠i caved and finally wrote my first toji fic i know iâve been teasing for a while. please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so thereâs probably mistakes. thanks for reading < 3
âWhat are you crying for, huh?â Tojiâs vice on your hair was a tight fist, creating a makeshift ponytail so he could see your tears on your face. âYou wanted to learn, didnât you, girlie?â you could hear the amusement in his voice. the arrogance of knowing he was too much for you. too big. too rough. but uncaring. âNow youâre gonna boo-hoo about it?â
the best you could manage was a gargling whimper, your lips stretched wide around the thickness of his mighty cock. if your eyes crossed, you could see the shine from your spit and lipgloss smeared along the surface of his skin, giving each rigid vein a highlight. if you watched his inches disappear into your mouth, you got dizzy. the way he dribbled your head on his groin had your head spinning. back and forth, up and down, hard and fast.
âJust take it and stop whining so much, little bitch.â
Toji Fushiguro didnât do soft and sweet.
you knew that, but youâd hoped heâd take a little more care than this.
you could feel the bones in his knuckles bat against the back of your head when he pushed you down hard, forcing the majority of him into your mouth, the girthy, reddened head threatening to push its way right down your throat, and when he yanked on your hair to pull you back, your scalp stung. you couldnât help but whine and chokeâ he wasnât giving you any choice. youâd forgotten how to stay calm and breathe through your nose, and instead twitched and squirmed.
âFucking hell,â he grunted, and took a moment to exert his power on you, pushing you down until you kissed his broad base, the musky coarse hair tickling your nostrils and scraping against your plushy cheeks, âcanât even take a cock without being a drama queen. Stop moving around so damn much, let me get in that tight, little throat.â he held you there, trying to force his way in, but you couldnât stop yourself from freaking out the second you felt him start to invade. bunching your shoulders, you push yourself up from where you were sitting on your calf muscles, both hands fleeing to pat and shove at his muscular thighs in a gagging attempt to tell him to stop. you felt the need to retch, and the sensation of having your air supply limited so drastically so quickly, and every alarm in your head went off to get off of him.
âWhat?â he barked, breathing ragged. âWant me to stop already? Canât take it?â
you nod and Toji laughs.
âThatâs too damn bad.â
for as much as you fought, Toji was stronger, and with a frustrated snarl, he grabbed your head with both hands, instead. gripping either side, he walked you backwards, mouth full of cock, until he pushed the back of your head against the opposing wall. his stance wide, heavy feet planted against either of your legs, he pinned your back to the wall. âGettinâ real tired of your crybaby ass. Gonna have to teach you my way.â
his way was cruel, and you came to understand that as he jackhammered into your drooling, squealing mouth at a brutal pace, his heavy balls smacking against your chin. you can feel how the skin wants to stick to the gluey saliva dribbling from your sore mouth. your nails bite at his thighs, leaving angry, red scores, but he doesnât ease up. he refuses to let you breath for even a moment, his large, hot palms clamped over your ears.
it was only after heâd battered the back of your throat and started to slip inside with each, merciless thrust, that you started to cluck, loud and helpless, squinting your eyes. even through the blur of your tears and the wincing, you could still make out his incredibly imposing, powerful figure casting a formidable shadow over you as he power fucked your throat.
maybe it was the subtle yet consistent bumping of your head against the wall, or the overwhelming scent and taste of his arousal enveloping you, overloading your senses, but you started to realize you werenât struggling nearly as much. your hands, that had been desperate to claw your way to freedom, had ceased, your wrists going limp, as you slumped back against the wall to simply take him until he was done.
âThatâs it, those are the sounds I like to hear, that feels fucking good,â he moans, baring his teeth. âNot much fight left in you now, is there? Still want me to be nice, still wanna stop?â for a moment, and much to your surprise, Toji withdrew his cock, allowing it to pop free from your abused, swollen lips. air flooded your lungs and you croaked on it, pushing globs of spit and precum out of the well to drip down your chin and stain your chest. your eyes widen, and you suck in every gulp of oxygen that you could, but you didnât want to move, just in case he slammed your head into the wall again. weakly, uncertainly, your glassy eyes flicker up to the older man, and you give a defeated shake of your head. âThatâs what I thought. Youâre getting the hang of it.â he chuckled, hoarsely, running his calloused fingertips over your sticky, messy cheek before giving you a few, solid slaps of encouragement. or, perhaps, praise. you couldnât tell. you didnât care. you mewl and try to shy away from it, but he grasps your face hard in one hand and drags you back to look at him. âNow, sit pretty and be a good throat whore. This time, Iâm not stopping until I shoot a load into your belly.â
#toji fushiguro#toji fic#toji x reader#toji x you#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#jjk#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk imagine#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu toji#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut
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BEHIND BARS
A/N: this fic is my coping mechanism with my own shit and im more than eager to read your thoughts, because it would help me knowing im not alone with these thoughts. so this one goes out to all the big girlies who struggle with loving themselves!
WORD COUNT: 9k
WARNING: sexual content
SUMMARY:Â You get stood up by your Tinder date, but at the same time you run into a man who works at the bar and seems to be into you. Or that's what you think when you read his message he wrote to your receipt, asking you to return to the bar the next day.
MASTERLISTÂ |Â SUPPORT ME!
You harbor the delusional thoughts of your date getting caught up in something⊠anything, just a tad more, just so that the heartache comes a few moments later. It stings, probably more than youâd ever admit to anyone, but you canât help it.Â
Sitting on the barstool in the dimly lit bar you glue your eyes onto your pornstar martini, the second youâve had since arriving an hour and about five âWhere are you?â texts to Brannon before. All of them sit delivered but unread in your messages. You reach for the glass and finish the drink in two big gulps, the alcohol bringing an almost numbing sensation to your closed up throat, but it fades rather fast.Â
What hurts the most is that this is not a first date. He met you just three days ago on the coffee date you two arranged once you were over just exchanging messages on that awful dating app you always swear to never download again but end up back on it at one point. Itâs not like he would have walked in tonight and could have a shock about your looks, that you do in fact have quite some extra weight, your thighs are thick, curving into your ass that might look good on a better day, but only if itâs covered, because every time you look at it the only thing you see is the stubborn cellulite you can never get rid of. He saw that youâre miles away from having a flat stomach, you werenât blessed to be the kind of big girl who has a slim waist and beautiful round waist. You often stop in front of the mirror to assess how big your arms look if you wear something sleeveless, how your collarbones only show if you put your hands to your hips and force your shoulders forward to bring them out.Â
He saw all of these. Yet he suggested meeting again, pulling you into a ridiculous dream that he might be different and you could finally have the burning, passionate love youâve always dreamed about.
Now it feels more like a nightmare.Â
âAnother one?âÂ
The bartender appears in front of you, one hand on the counter, the other one on his hip as he looks at you with a questioning look. You glance up at him, then at the empty glass and decide to just fuck it and get drunk before going home and raging your fridge for whatever comfort food you can find.Â
âSure. Bring a shot as well.â
âVodka, tequila, rum orâŠ?â
âVodka sounds fantastic,â you breathe out as you square your shoulders and run a hand through your hair.
The guy nods and then disappears again. While he is making your drink you decide to have a trip to the bathroom. You wave at the bartender to let him know youâll be back and when he nods you make your way to the back.Â
You chose the bar for tonight, itâs a nice place, feels intimate and⊠hot, maybe thatâs the word you used when you were here with your girlfriends a few weeks ago. It was the perfect spot for a girly night, but the vibe of the place definitely doesnât limit it to a strictly feminine spot. There were plenty of men around even then and one mysterious man sent over a whole round of drinks, he remained unknown but he was probably enamored by one of your friends.
You were convinced Brannon would like this place and you could see the two of you curled up in a booth, finally overstepping the awkwardness of being around someone you met online.Â
Once youâve done your business you stop in front of the massive mirror next to the sink and have a moment to look at yourself in the overhead lights that bring out everything about your body that you usually fight hard not to think about. You hate it how one inconvenience can make you feel so⊠ashamed. Hopeless. Worthless.Â
Truth is, youâre tired. Youâve had enough of these experiences, though itâs only your second time getting stood up, but it goes under the same cases of going completely unnoticed by men in a social setting, ending up instantly in the friendzone no matter what you do, getting the talk of âbut I see you as a great friend, I hope we can stay friendsâ whenever you dare to come clean about your feelings for someone. It sucks the life out of you and youâre not sure if you have any more left to keep trying. Because the chance of ending up alone anyway has been looming over your head for way too long to ignore it and if it ends up being your reality, youâd rather not waste any more time and energy on trying.Â
When the tears start stinging your eyes you turn on your heels and head out, not wanting to have a full blown breakdown in the middle of a bar. Stepping out to the hallway youâre just about to march back to your previous spot to chug down your drinks shamelessly, but you werenât expecting anyone to be right outside the door, so you collide into someone just as your heels hit the carpeted floor outside the restroom.Â
Itâs not at all the gracious kind of collision, where the man scoops you into his arms and holds you against his chest to stop you from falling. Out of reflex, your hands do find the guyâs chest, but you push yourself away from him fast and panicked, your back hitting the door that just closed behind you and youâd bet a good amount that your expression reeks of shock and the sadness from previously, which is not a gracious combination.Â
âI-Iâm sorry,â you exhale sharply as your eyes take in the man in front of you.Â
Tall, well-built in a black, fitted suit with a black silky shirt underneath the jacket, the first few buttons are left undone, teasing a glimpse of tattoos and a thin necklace with pendants hidden from your vision. His brown hair is trimmed, but not enough to conceal how the strands curl and swirl. Pink lips curl into a smile and you canât decide the color of his eyes because itâs too dark here, but they appear to be light, even despite how big his pupils are as he is staring back at you. He is holding up his hands in front of him, as if he is readying himself to catch you if you decide to fall anyway.Â
âIn a hurry?â he asks and his velvety british accent caresses your ears. You blink at him for a couple of moments dumbly before finding your voice to reply.
âNo,â is all you say, to which his smile just widens and you catch his eyes dip down, running along your body before they return to your gaze.Â
âBe careful then, Angel.â
âSorry,â you breathe out, finding your balance again as youâre unable to look away from him.Â
He is the kind of man that catches every femaleâs attention upon walking into a room, who could easily just cherry pick who he wants, because women line up in front of him just to earn a glance from him. He looks elegant and lively at the same time, but you instantly feel a sense of mystery and darkness linger around them even despite his warm smile. He is nothing like the men you ever dealt with and he is⊠way out of your league.Â
Lifting your chin you spare him with one last look before walking away, fighting the urge to look back if he is still there or maybe you just imagined him.Â
Your drinks are already waiting for you by your seat and you down the shot before you could climb back to your seat. Given the fact that you came with an empty stomach, the alcohol has started working its wonders on you. You feel a low buzz in your chest, a slight numbness in your head and you know the martini in front of you will be your last drink if you want to make it back to your place.Â
Your thoughts are still circling around the man in the hallway when you spot him again from the corner of your eyes. Down at the end of the bar, he is talking to the bartender whoâs been serving you. His jacket is gone, so you see the silky shirt hanging elegantly from his frame, the fabric shimmering in the light that comes from behind the bar, illuminating the wall of expensive bottles showcased. The sleeves are rolled up, revealing that his left arm is heavily tattooed, but the other one has something as well, but half of it is hidden underneath the shirt.Â
He is helping the bartender unload some bottles into the fridge thatâs underneath the counter as the talk. When they are down to the last one he stands up and runs a ring-clad hand through his hair and his eyes move up and catch your gaze before you could look away and pretend like you werenât ogling him. Your cheeks burn up right away as you snap your eyes back at your drink in front of you. With silent prayers that he wonât come closer, you busy yourself with the only thing you can do: drinking. But just as you lift the glass to your lips you see a black form walk up to where youâre sitting and you canât stop yourself from looking up at him.Â
âCan I get you anything else?â he asks with a charming smile, his hands planted onto the counter in front of you, giving you the chance to see the veins running underneath his smooth skin and for a split second you canât help but imagine what it might feel like to be held by those hands.Â
âUm, no, Iâm good. Thank you.â
âGood,â he repeats, but it drips with something else, something more, something⊠heavy. âWaiting for someone?â
His question came out of the blue, you werenât expecting him to strike up a conversation and start it with that. Your muscles tense and suddenly, after being so drawn to keep looking at the man in front of you, it becomes your priority to avoid his gaze at all cost.Â
âNo,â you say shortly and take a sip, no, a gulp from your drink.Â
What you donât see is how his face darkens. The smile fades and his eyebrows draw together as he lets his hands fall from the counter and move to cross over his chest.Â
You expect him to move away from the rather tensed and awkward scene, but he remains standing in the same spot until you notice him turn around, but just to grab two shot glasses, he fills them up with something that could easily be vodka again, but you wouldnât know because you donât see the glass he pours from. Then he turns around and places the shots onto the counter, pushing one a little closer to you. When you look up, you see his head a bit tilted, waiting with a questioning look and an unknown sparkle in his eyes that are green, now youâre sure.Â
âOh, I shouldnât⊠UmâŠâ
âJust this one. As an apology on behalf of the piece of shit who is too blind and idiotic to see what he missed out on.â
Your breath is caught in your throat as you stare back at him. For a second, you let yourself believe that thereâs more behind his words, that thereâs attraction, lust and desire. For you.
But then your usual mechanism kicks in and your mind is quick to turn it around and convince you itâs not at all like that. He just feels sorry for you, itâs only pity, because a man like him would never be interested in a woman like you.Â
âSure,â you whisper with a nod and take the shot. He takes his and holds up, waits for you to do the same.Â
Then he gives you a nod with a charming, crooked smile and your eyes remain locked on each other as you both take the shots. Itâs vodka and it burns, but you donât even flinch as you put the glass back onto the counter and watch him snatch it away. He is just about to say something when the bartender calls out for him from the end of the bar, but because you werenât listening, you miss what his name is. He looks back at you once more and then walks away.Â
You donât see him for the rest of the time you spend there. Finishing the drink you ask to close your tab and then youâre getting ready to leave when the bartender slips the receipt over to you. At first you donât even pay any attention to it, but then you notice something is different about it. You grab it from the counter and then read the words scribbled onto it with a black marker.
Please come back tomorrow.
You feel like an idiot all day. Trying to keep yourself busy by cleaning and cooking, no matter what you do you always find yourself looking at that damn receipt, reading the words over and over again. Since you left the bar yesterday until this moment, youâve thought of every possible scenario why he would ask you to return. Realistic ones, ridiculous versions, you thought of them all, but somehow you always ended up settling on the same one, even despite the fact your mind has been fighting hard not to let you believe he could want anything from you.Â
It grinds your nerves all day until you decide to act on it. You put on a pair of jeans and a simple black shirt with your trusty sneakers, nothing extra, very far from looking fancy and then head back to the bar before you could talk yourself out of it.Â
Itâs the afternoon on a Sunday, itâs no surprise the place is deserted when you walk in, only a handful of people are lingering around here and there in contrast to the buzz it had yesterday. You try your best to settle the uneasy feeling in your gut as you walk up to the bar. Thereâs a woman standing behind this time who you didnât see last night. Sheâs drying glasses with a cloth since thereâs not much to do without anyone sitting on the stools.Â
âHi, what can I get you?â she asks with a bright smile as you walk up to her.Â
âUm, I was wondering if the guy who worked last night was working today? Brown hair, tattoos⊠I donât⊠know his name.â
Itâs an understatement to say you feel awkward asking around about the guy even though he practically asked you to come back. At least he could have given you his name to avoid appearing like a stalker.Â
The woman furrows her eyebrows as she purses her lips, tilting her head.
âI swear Iâm not here to make a scene or anything,â you add with a nervous laugh.Â
âAh, I was just thinking. Because I know for a fact that Nico was working last night, but he for sure has no tattoos.â
You swear you saw the tattoos on his chest and arms, you did not just imagine those, but now youâre doubting yourself.
âHe, uhh, he wore, like, a black suit and a black, silky shirt⊠RingsâŠâ This is as far as you can go describing him without adding details youâd rather keep to yourself. Like how his hands looked delicate but rough at the same time, the way his lips curled when he smiled could push all the air out of your lungs and his smooth, velvety voice was like you were wrapped into a warm, soft blanket whenever he talked.
Luckily, you see her face light up at the last few details you just said.
âOh! You must beâŠâ She doesnât finish it, just lets her smile stretch wide as she squares her shoulder. âLet me grab him for you,â she then winks and before you could get another word out, she disappears.Â
Laying your hands flat on the bar top you start drumming nervously as you wait. A thought flashes through your mind that it was a mistake coming here, trying to convince you to just leave before itâs too late, but you fight it and shove it to the back of your head, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip as you pull your hands back and start rubbing your palms against your thighs.Â
A few seconds later the woman appears from the back with the same wide smile and just when you start to think the man is not here, he follows her out, turning your sanity upside down with just a simple look.Â
He is wearing a black t-shirt this time, short sleeved, putting his previously mentioned tattoos on perfect display. The shirt is tucked into a pair of gray dress pants that hug his waist so well, youâre drawn to stare at his body for a few moments as he moves closer behind the bar.Â
The bartender woman passes you while the man stops in front of you, a cheeky, but genuine smile tugging on his lips as he leans onto the counter just like how he did yesterday, only this time you see his muscles flex from the movement thanks to the short sleeves.Â
âWhat a pleasure to welcome you back.â
Your knees threaten to give up for a second from hearing his voice again, as if itâs proof that you didnât just make him up last night, he is not just a mirage.Â
Reaching into your purse you pull the receipt out and slide it over to him.Â
âYou invited me back.â
âI did,â he nods, not even glancing down at the piece of paper, like he doesnât need to be reminded of what he did. âBut I didnât know youâd actually return.â
Unsure what to say, you allow yourself to assess him, take in his perfectly carved features, the unruly curls, the rings adorning his inviting hands. If you were on your own, just looking at a picture of him, youâd definitely tell yourself itâs too good to be true that a man like him would ever pay you any attention. But having him standing in front of you, feel his burning gaze on you, this magnetic pull that vibrates from him, youâre battling yourself harder than ever.
âI was curious,â you admit at last.Â
âThen Iâm happy to satisfy your curiosity. Why donât we sit down?â he asks, gesturing towards one of the booths by the wall.
âWonât you get into trouble?â you ask, but he just gives you a toothy smile as he shakes his head.
âDonât worry about that, Angel. Go ahead and sit, Iâll make us a drink.â
Once youâre turned away and walking towards a booth you let out a long, shaky breath.Â
âGet a grip,â you tell yourself as you slide into the booth and try to get comfortable. Itâs frustrating a man could have an effect this powerful on you after barely even talking to him. What kind of black magic is he practicing?
A few minutes later you see him walking over to you with two drinks in his hands. One is obviously a pornstar martini for you, the other one you donât know. Itâs in a simple, short glass, one big cube of ice, the drink itself is a nice amber color, you spot a curl of orange peel and some fresh rosemary in it.Â
He slips into the booth with ease and moves closer to you than you expected as he places the drinks to the table.Â
âMight be best if we started with our names,â he suggests. âIâm Harry.âÂ
His name rolls off his tongue so ravishingly, you have to stop yourself from repeating after him. He holds out a hand for you that you take. Your skin starts tingling the moment it meets with his warm touch.
âY/N.â
âSuch a pleasure to meet you, Y/N,â he nods, giving your hand a squeeze before letting it go.Â
While you feel a bit awkward, trying to find a way to sit beside him, it appears he is quick to find his place, crossing one leg over the other, his arm closer to you is stretched over the back of the booth, his hand falling somewhere behind you, but itâs not touching you. His other hand is gently playing with his drink, twirling it between his fingers.Â
âI know itâs probably not the best thing to start with, but I just have to ask. Last night, were you stood up?â
All your blood rushes to your head and your palms start sweating as you turn your head away embarrassed. Youâve been so caught up in him that you kind of forgot about what Brannon did.Â
âYes,â you whisper, hands dropping into your lap as you nervously fidget with your fingers.
The hand thatâs been behind you moves to the side of your face, his knuckles gently brushing across your cheek, just enough to make you turn your head and look at him.Â
âDonât even think for a moment his behavior lessens your worth.â
âIâm not so sure if thereâs any left of that to lessen.â
The words leave your mouth before you could even think them through, surprising you with their bluntness. Youâre not one to share such personal thoughts with a stranger, not even your closest friends.Â
Harry stares at you with an unreadable expression and you half expect him to just let it slip and not acknowledge what you said. But he sticks to that in a way you never experienced.
âI would give an arm to have the chance to show how much I see just after spending only minutes with you.â
Youâre speechless and from the hidden smile you notice in the corners of his mouth you assume he finds it entertaining, witnessing the effect he has on you. He grabs his drink from the table and you watch him lazily take a sip before placing it back and leaning forward, getting closer to you, but still not quite crossing an invisible line between the two of you.Â
âY/N, I know this is very straight-forward and Iâm aware that we are very much just strangers at this point, but Iâm more than eager to change that.â
âWhy?â you hear yourself asking in an airy, weak voice. âBecause youâre sorry for me?â
Now itâs his turn to be taken aback. The way he frowns almost makes you want to apologize even for asking.Â
âSorry is the last thing Iâm feeling right now. And it wasnât what I felt when you bumped into me last night or when I wrote that message to your receipt. Or⊠when I sent over that round of drinks to you and your friends not long ago.â
âYou what?â
âYou were here, maybe a few weeks ago, with your friends, right?â
âI-I was, butâŠâ
âThe round of drinks. I sent it.â
âWhy?â you ask again and notice the amusement in his look.
âThe same reason I wanted you to return today. Because take my breath away and I never give up on the chance to get to know whoever has that effect on me.â
You stare back at him blankly, a million thoughts racing in your head while also not able to put together a coherent one. It is everything you ever wished to experience, but it also feels incredibly odd and⊠wrong.Â
âWhat kind of twisted game is it youâre playing?â
Harry furrows his eyebrows slightly.
âNone. Why are you questioning my intentions so passionately?â
âBecause itâs ridiculous,â you say with a bitter laugh, shaking your head as you grab your drink and take two gulps, hoping the alcohol might help you untangle the mess in your head.Â
âHow is my interest in you ridiculous?â
âBecause it is. You cannot sell me that you spotted me among my friends last time, that I was the one who caught your attention and that when you saw me last night again you just had to take your chance to lure me here again so you could talk to me. Itâs absolutely ridiculous.â
He stays silent and you donât look at him for a bit, trying to calm your rocketing pulse. But his silence starts to drive you mad again, so you turn to face him and see that unreadable expression on his face again.Â
âYouâre invalidating my attraction just because you havenât received it before.âÂ
Itâs like he is reading you like youâre an open book, he looks at you and you can feel him raiding through your mind and you can do nothing against it.Â
âItâs actually sad but also exciting to be the first one to give it to you.â
âBut why me?â you keep pushing.
âWhy do you like pornstar martini?â he asks with a cheeky smile and you decide to ignore how erotic that sounded from him.Â
âWhat?â
âYou choose it because you like it, yeah? Why?â
âBecause⊠I donât know, it tastes⊠good,â you answer, complete confusion taking over you.Â
âSee, that is why you. I donât know it just yet, but I just know thatâŠâ He doesnât finish, but you can hear the rest.
I just know you taste good.
The all too familiar pulse between your legs is making you cross your legs underneath the table, but Harry catches the movement and his grin grows wide, but he doesnât comment on it, just takes a sip of his drink.Â
âWe took it very intensely quite suddenly. Letâs just talk and we can return to this matter a bit later,â he suggests then softly, losing that tiny cockiness from his voice for now. âWhat is there to know about you, Y/N?â
You need a bit of time to recover and actually start telling him about yourself. He asks you about your job, your family, your hobbies, what you like and what you hate, all while giving you his full, undivided attention. Even though he has made it clear he is interested in you, somehow you end up taking the situation with even more caution than usually, but slowly and almost unnoticed, it eases from your gut.Â
âNow itâs your turn,â you say, once youâve had enough of talking about yourself. Just as he is about to start talking, the bartender shows up at the table and youâre convinced sheâll ask him to go back to work.Â
âBoss, the supplier was on the phone, they need confirmation until tomorrow morning.â
Boss?Â
âThanks Jenny,â Harry smiles up at her warmly. âIâll take care of it.â The bartender, Jenny as you learned, nods and then disappears. When Harry looks back at you, itâs apparent he was expecting the questioning look from you.Â
âBoss? Did I hear that right?â
âAbsolutely did,â he chuckles.Â
âSo youâreâŠâ
âI won this place. Along with another one downtown and two more over on the West coast.â
You click your tongue as you turn away to have a look around, though youâve examined the place enough before. Itâs not the kind that screams âthis is my first business, itâs doing fairly wellâ, but rather one that screams wealth and business. The bar itself is definitely high end, but itâs also connected to the hotel above, so it drives in some great traffic from there as well and of course, itâs a five star hotel, so the guests are usually not the kind who shies away from paying for a nice drink. Adding just the thought of three more places similar to this to the picture is just plainly mind-blowing to you.
And yet, just minutes ago you were convinced heâs a bartender here.Â
âYou knew I thought you were staff when I asked if youâd get into trouble.â Harry nods. âWhy didnât you say something?â
âBecause that would have immensely changed the dynamic.â
âNo, Iââ
âYes,â he fights back with a meaningful look. âYou had a hard time believing I could be interested in you when you thought I was a bartender here. Had you known I owned this place you would have never let go of the power imbalance that comes with the judgment of my position in my business.â
You want to protest, but you canât. Because you know it well that he is actually right.Â
To ease the sudden change in the mood, Harry starts talking about himself and the business as he can tell youâre curious how he ended up as the boss. He tells you how it all started in college, he and a few of his friends came up with the idea of opening a bar and once they graduated he and the one remaining friend who was still into the idea decided to act on it. Niall, the friend, earned a great amount of money from his trust fund after graduation, which they used to the last cent to open the place ten years ago. Feeling guilty that he couldnât bring as much money into the business in the beginning, Harry tried to make up for it by working twice as hard. As time passed and they opened the second place three years later, Niall started to wander to different fields and only remained a silent partner in the business, letting Harry take over fully. The expansion on the West coast happened just two years ago, but they are already thinking about the next location.
âAre you still friends?â you ask him.
âWith Niall? Yes, absolutely. He has his own company in IT security that he actually started from the money of this business. Itâs more his world than this now, but we try to meet at least every month when we are in the same city. And I still need his signature on some stuff,â he adds with a chuckle.Â
âThatâs great it didnât ruin your friendship. Working together can be risky.â
âI know. We had our ups and downs for sure, but nothing we couldnât talk through.â
It was amazing to see him talk about it so profound and passionately. It makes him so⊠humane.Â
His phone buzzes in his pocket and when he pulls it out, he sighs quietly. He ignores the call, but when he looks at you again you know he has to go.
âY/N, we need to revisit what we talked about earlier, because I have to go soon.â
Your cheeks heat up instantly as you roll your lips into your mouth.Â
âWhat about it?â
âMost importantly we need to talk about when we can meet again.â
You look at him from the corner of your eyes and canât hold back a smile when you see his cheeky grin as he sits turned towards you, his upper body angled to face you completely.Â
âThe most convenient would be tomorrow,â he adds shamelessly.
âSo soon?â
âI wanted to say I would love to see you in about three hours when we close, but I didnât want to come off as too eager.â
That makes you laugh and Harry gifts you with a proud, crooked smile.
âAre you sick of this place?â
âWhy?â
âBecause you could come here tomorrow and I could teach you how to make your drink,â he says, nodding towards your now empty glass. You actually love the idea of that, doing something new in a not so new setting.Â
âI can be here by seven.â
âIâll be waiting for you behind the bar.â
You have never been this eager to put down work at five finally. It doesnât matter that you still have a few unanswered emails in your inbox, you decide they can wait until tomorrow.Â
You havenât stopped thinking about Harry since you left the bar yesterday. You canât even remember the last time you were like this, probably in high school when you had a crush in junior year. Itâs ridiculous, honestly, but itâs also quite exciting.Â
You walk into the bar for the third time in the past three days. You would have guessed that a Monday evening would be just as eventful as Sunday, but apparently a lot of people like to go out for drinks on the first day of the week. Itâs not like on Saturday, but about half of the tables are taken. Crossing the place youâre heading straight to the bar, searching for one particular tall figure, but you donât see him.Â
Nico, the bartender from Saturday, is on shift again, though as you reach the bar he doesnât seem to recognize you.Â
âHi, what can I get you?â
Youâre just about to ask him to tell Harry that you arrived when the familiar, velvety voice speaks up right behind you.Â
âI have the lady covered, thanks Nico.â
Turning around youâre met with Harryâs warm but cheeky smile as he stands just a couple of feet away from you. Today he is wearing a pair of black dress pants with a black long sleeve, but the sleeves are rolled up above his elbows. Thereâs a light stubble darkening his jawline, he surely skipped shaving this morning, but youâre not mad about it, it adds a bit of roughness to him.Â
âWelcome back, Y/N,â he nods at you.
âHi,â is all you manage to push out of yourself. He is very much aware of your nervousness, but it just widens his smile.Â
âReady to master the pornstar martini?â he asks as he steps closer and places a hand to the small of your back to usher you behind the bar.Â
âAbsolutely.â
The two of you settle at the end of the bar so youâre not disturbing the actual service with your little scene. Harry hands you a black apron and he puts one on himself as well after helping you tie yours behind your back. Then the learning starts.
Harry is actually a great bartender himself. As he gathers everything you need for the drink, he tells you how he learned to bartend after opening the place. They had a few times when they fell short on staff and he needed to serve, so he figured itâs best if he just learns it fully rather than just clumsily mixing up the drinks whenever help is needed.Â
âWhatâs your favorite to make?â you ask as youâre cutting the passion fruit in two on a cutting board and Harry examines your every move like a good mentor.
âI think itâs Rum Martinez.â
âWhatâs that like?â
âItâs a Japanese cocktail, pretty smoky and kind of complicated to make. Iâve had it twice, it was always served with a cigar. I only made it once though, but it was fun.â
Harry truly meant it when he said youâd learn how to make your drink. He doesnât touch anything in the mixing process, only instructs you, clear and patiently as you add the right amounts into the shaker. When you put the top of the shaker on however, he moves behind you and as his arms come round you to grab the shaker along with you, for a few seconds you definitely forget to breathe.Â
This close you can smell his cologne, the warmth of his body is melting you against him and when you lean back just the slightest bit he pushes forward to tighten the physical connection between the two of you.Â
âAlright. Now, this is how you shake it properly,â he murmurs, his face right next to yours as his hands cover yours on the shaker.Â
You let him take the lead as he starts shaking, his warm palms holding your hand against the cool shaker, moving it up and down, left and right in a controlled, rhythmic way. He is giving it quite the force, you feel the ice inside tumble harshly as you keep shaking.Â
âOkay, now take the cap off.â
He lets go of the shaker, but remains standing behind you as he instructs you. You do as he said and he reaches past you to bring the glass closer for you.Â
âCarefully, but with confidenceâ he murmurs, one hand moving to cover yours when you start pouring, but too slowly, so he helps you to tilt the right amount. The beautiful yellow liqueur fills up the glass with a perfect layer of foam on top.Â
âAnd finally, the passion fruit.â
He points at the fruit on the cutting board and you take one half, gently dropping it into the middle and watch as it stays afloat with pride.Â
âThere. You just made your first pornstar martini.â
Harry steps away from behind you and you almost protest, eager to feel his warmth behind you as he comes into your view again, watching you bring the drink to your lips. You take a sip and once you taste it, you canât hold your smile back.
âItâs amazing.â
âAll yours,â he dips his head a bit with a bright smile and you canât look away from his sparkling eyes.Â
The foam of the drink sticks to your upper lip so when you put the glass down you run your tongue over, licking it off and you catch him watching your mouth with obvious hunger, as if he is ready to have a taste from the cocktail, but only from your lips.Â
The moment burns and you feel it deep in your chest. Almost unnoticed, you both inch closer and you feel an irresistible pull towards him. Your heart is drumming in your throat and the muscles in your torso tense even at just the thought of kissing him.Â
But right when you are about to cross the line Nicoâs curse pops your bubble and Harryâs head whips around in alert.
âShit!â you see Nico jump back from the counter, one hand wrapped around the other, a cutting board with lemons and a knife left behind.
âWhat happened?â Harry asks, grabbing a rag as he steps closer to assess the situation.
âI wasnât paying attention and cut my finger,â Nico hisses and you step closer just in time to see him showing the cut. It doesnât look bad, but itâs bleeding quite heavily.
âGo and clean it out. Iâll cover the bar.â
Nico mumbles a quick thanks as he rushes back before he could bleed on anything behind the bar. Just as he exits, two women walk up to Harry, who switches into bartender mode pretty fast. He gives you a quick âIâm sorryâ glance as he takes their order and starts mixing up their drinks. You just give him a reassuring smile and focus on your drink, patiently waiting.Â
At first you donât even pay attention to the conversation the two women strike up with him. But as Harry starts serving a man who walked up to the bar after them you notice how they stayed there and it makes you wonder so you turn your attention to their sugar coated voices.Â
âOh, then we feel honored to be served by the big boss,â the blonde one chuckles, leaning forward just enough so that his shirt tugs down, teasing the view of her cleavage.Â
âJust⊠helping in,â Harry gives a tight-lipped smile, barely even glancing at her as he makes the cocktail.Â
âSee, I told you it'll be worth coming here on a Monday,â the other one giggles as she gently sways to the soft music thatâs playing through the speakers.Â
Itâs a sight thatâs an easy trigger for you. They did nothing wrong other than flirting with a man they find attractive. And you know Harry barely even acknowledged their efforts, but still, it was enough to let that evil little voice out of its cage in the back of your mind.Â
They are gorgeous and youâre nothing like them. They are thin and looking around you already see a dozen men looking at them. You can never be like them.Â
Deep down you know these thoughts are worthless, but once they take over itâs hard to fight them, to see yourself in a better light. Not when youâve struggled with this for so long and spent long years to convince yourself itâs all that matters.Â
Thereâs nothing left of the free spirit you were just minutes ago. When this happens you simply close off and want to disappear as fast as possible. For a moment you think of just leaving while Harry is not paying attention, but youâd hate to walk out on him like that so you stay there, trying to take up as little space as physically possible as you finish your drink.Â
Nico soon comes back, his left ring finger bandaged up, ready to get back to work, which means Harry is free from bar duty again. He doesnât hesitate to walk away from the two women and return to you, but youâve let your spiraling thoughts win by now.
He notices something is wrong the moment he sees you avoid looking into his eyes.
âWhatâs wrong?â he asks, dipping his head to try to get you to look at him.Â
âNothing,â you shake your head, but itâs a weak attempt to mask just how uncomfortable youâre feeling.
âY/N, I know thatâs not true. What happened?â
âNothing happened,â you push, then take a deep breath to help you swallow the bitterness in your mouth.Â
Thereâs a few seconds of pause when youâre convinced heâll say to end the date and then you already see yourself never coming here to avoid ever running into him. The voice in the back of your mind is already working hard to convince you itâs for the best, that it would have never worked, youâre way too different and sooner or later he would see you the way you see yourself.Â
But it never happens. Instead, he silently packs away everything you used for the cocktail and when heâs done, he gently takes your hand and starts to pull you towards the door that leads out to the hotelâs lobby. Confused, but curious, you follow him and donât say a word until the two of you stop at the elevators.
âHarry, where are we going?â
âUp. To my suite.â
âYou have a suite here?â
âI do. Comes with the perks of owning the bar thatâs part of the hotel.âÂ
His hand is still holding yours, warm and gentle, but still confident, especially when he tightens his hold as the elevator arrives and he pulls you inside, pushing the button of the 18th floor. He doesnât let go of you as the elevator starts moving, you just stand there next to each other without a word until it arrives and the doors slide open.Â
Harry once again pulls you with him, striding down the carpeted hallway to the door with the number 1804 next to it. He fishes out a card from his pocket and taps it against the lock that clicks silently, letting him open the door and thatâs when his hand falls from yours, letting you walk in first as he holds the door open for you.Â
You havenât been to a hotel this elegant, not as a guest at least. Youâve attended a few conferences but you could only see the lobby and the conference rooms during those, not the rooms or in this case, the suites.Â
You walk into a spacious living room with a minibar, dark purple couches facing the TV mounted onto the wall, the floor-to-ceiling windows giving an impeccable view of the city lights. Thereâs a door on the left and the right, one is probably leading to the bedroom, the other one must be the bathroom and though the doors are closed, you can imagine how good they must be designed.
The suite is definitely not untouched, you see signs of Harry here and there, the envelopes on the coffee table, the single used mug next to them, some sort of hoodie thrown over the back of one of the armchairs and a Macbook lying on the desk next to the TV.Â
âItâs permanently reserved for me. I spend so much time at the bar, itâs easier if sometimes I donât have to drive all the way home and can just stay here,â he explains as you walk further inside, stopping by the window to have a look at the view.Â
Slowly, you turn around and look at him with your arms crossed over your chest.
âWhy are we here?â
He is standing a few feet away, his hands hidden in his pockets, but his stance feels welcoming and open even despite your closed off behavior.Â
âTo be alone. I donât want the circumstances to bother you. I know things can get overwhelming sometimes.â
You remain still, not sure what to say or do. It really has been overwhelming, but only because sometimes your own mind turns against you and thereâs nothing you can do about it.Â
Harry pulls his hands out of his pockets and cautiously takes a few steps closer to you, but still leaves a bit of space between the two of you.Â
âDo you want to talk about it?â he asks so softly, it almost makes you want to cry, because he doesnât feel real, nothing does when itâs about him. Youâre so set on how unmatching you feel around him that itâs almost impossible to think otherwise now.Â
âI donât see it,â you reply in a whisper.
âSee what?â
âI donât see what you see in me. I only see my version of myself and itâs⊠not good.â
The tears are stinging your eyes. You have probably never said these words out loud, but somehow, you feel safe enough with Harry to bring this side of you out, though the fear that he might get fed up with it is still strong in the pit of your stomach.Â
You have no idea what kind of reaction you were expecting from him, to be honest you couldnât imagine a version where he stands his ground and doesnât agree with all the awful things you harbor about yourself.Â
But then he steps closer, his hands gently cupping your face in them as he angles your head so youâre looking up at him, holding you like that, forcing you to keep your eyes on him.Â
âI want to show you. How I see you.â
His hands slide down to your neck, his thumbs are underneath your chin to keep you in place, his gaze dipping down to your lips a couple of times before settling on your eyes, waiting, silently asking for permission and though you donât say a single word he understands you.
His first kiss is brief, but confident. His lips press against yours and they open slowly, just enough so that his tongue can tease you before he pulls back, though he doesnât move far, his nose is still brushing against yours. Opening your eyes you find him looking at you, his otherwise light and bright eyes are now several shades darker, lust dripping from the curled up ends of his lashes as he waits for you to make up your mind whether you want to go further or not. Somehow, his black magic must have worked enough on you to mute that evil voice in the back of your head, the absence of it giving you the chance to give yourself into the moment.Â
You push up against him this time eagerly, open mouth meeting his and heâs quick to react with just as much passion.Â
One of his hands moves down to your waist and when his fingers dig into the soft flesh you canât hold back a moan thatâs immediately swallowed by him. You fist his shirt, desperately trying to pull closer even though he is entirely pressed up against you.Â
Blindly he starts moving, pulling you with him, your kiss never breaking as you move around the couch. Then his lips leave yours and youâre forced to open your eyes just as he sits down on the couch, his hands grabbing the back of your thighs as he pulls you between his knees and he kisses your stomach through the fabric of your shirt. Out of reflex you try to pull away or avert him somewhere else, but his hands squeeze your thighs as his eyes snap up to meet your gaze.
âHow I see you, remember? Let me show you,â he reminds you and though every inch of you is screaming to pull away, you stay.
Harry pushes your shirt up and unbuttons your pants before his hands grab you by the waist. He twists you around and pulls you down on him, so you end up lying half on top of him with your back pressed against his chest.Â
âHarry,â you gasp when his right hand starts to slip into your pants and then under your underwear, but his other hand falls to your heaving chest as if he could calm your jumping pulse with just one touch.
âTell me if you want me to stop, I donât want to push anything on you.â His lips are by your ear that brushes against them when you nod and just let him do whatever he wants.Â
When two of his fingers slip between your wet folds, your lips part with a sigh, your head rolling back to his shoulder just from his touch. He is gentle but determined, starts off by just moving those two fingers up and down, gently applying some pressure at the perfect spots before keep moving. Then they settle on your clit and start drawing circles in a slow pace, playing with the pressure once again, setting your nerves on fire.Â
You keep moaning and gasping as you still lie on top of him, his other hand moves underneath your shirt, but it doesnât go further up just yet, only remains flat on your skin. You canât stop your body from falling into a rhythm, hips buckling, spine arching with certain movements, especially when he starts to gradually increase his pace.Â
When a tiny shock rides through your body with a rougher movement one of your hands grabs onto his thigh by your side, fingers digging into his muscles, earning a deep grunt from him that rumbles right underneath you.Â
Your other hand snaps to his wrist as you completely lose control over yourself and push his hand a bit further, showing him where and how you need him the most and he is quick to pick up on the clues and add to the sensation.Â
âY/N, Angel, let go for me,â he whispers into your ear and while his hand between your legs doesnât stop for a moment, the other one finally inches up and cups your breast, kneading it sensually.Â
âHarry, IâAh!â Youâve lost your ability to voice a coherent thought. You have none, the feelings Harry is making you feel have taken over you entirely.Â
âI know, I know,â he murmurs and when you turn your head he doesnât hesitate to capture your lips in a deep kiss and while youâre eager to return it, you lose control over your movements when you feel your orgasm tipping you over the edge. It stretches and teases and then it washes over you like a tidal wave.Â
Gasping for air, your back arches and your nails dig into his wrist and thigh, you hear him say something but his words are tuned out, you hear or see nothing, only feel.
But you feel everything.Â
You have no idea how long it takes for you to calm down and come back to real life. When it happens you realize Harryâs hand has moved away from between your legs and both of them are placed on your stomach, his fingers gently brushing against your skin in a slow rhythm.Â
When you find your strength you wiggle around until youâre lying on your stomach, facing him. Even though you were the only one who benefited from the scene you just experienced, you see a deep satisfaction etched across his face as his lips break out into a smile.Â
âHi.â
âHi,â you chuckle and pushing yourself up you stretch your neck until your lips meet his. This kiss is different, itâs gentle and slow, but just as meaningful as the ones before.Â
âSo,â he starts as he reaches up, running his fingers down the side of your face. âDid you see what I see?â
âI⊠felt it,â you say, part of you afraid of his reaction. But as you watch him, all you see is that same sweet, charming smile youâve seen from him so many times before.
âThatâs a start.â
âYeah.â
âAnd Iâm more than happy to work on it until you really see it.â
Staring at him, you search for something. Anything that gives away the slightest sign that gives away that he is not being genuine, but you find none and it feels heavier than if you did. Completely touched by his words the tears start dwelling in your eyes.Â
âWhere have you been?â you ask in just a whisper.
âWellâŠâ he breathes out, locking you in his arms. âBehind bars the past ten years,â he says and thereâs a heartbeat of silence as you both realize what he just said and the duality of it.Â
You both burst out in laughter at the same time.
âNot like that!â he shakes his head.
âI guess there are a lot I donât know about you, thatâs fair.â
âAnd do you want to know more?â He challenges you. Your laughter fades into just a soft smile.
âI do. Do you want to know more about me?â
âEverything. I want to know everything.â
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
#harry#styles#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles oneshot#harry styles one shot#harry styles fluff#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurb#harry styles smut
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Scarlet-Tipped Secrets; Peonies, for You
đđđąđ«đąđ§đ : Azriel x f!reader
đđšđ«đ đđšđźđ§đ: 3.5k
đđđđđ đšđ«đČ: angst
đđĄđđŠđđŹ (đđ):
hanahaki!au, TW gore/vomiting (mildly descriptiveâ itâs bloody petals), unrequited love, themes of depression and lack of self worth, pining (so much pining), & dramaaaaa
đđźđŠđŠđđ«đČ:Â
When you develop feelings for your best friend, you delude yourself into believing you can ignore them for the rest of your life, if it means you can stay by his side. But once he starts seeing someone else, you discover that if you continue keeping your secret⊠your time on earth may be cut short. You find yourself with an impossible choiceâ remove all attachments to the shadowsinger and live, or hold out hope and suffer the consequences.Â
đđźđđĄđšđ«'đŹ đđšđđ:Â
This one goes out to all my angst girlies. My ladies who like the feeling of tears crawling onto your pillow, of hurt balling up in your stomach as you wander through a fic. I see you and I feel you, and I cooked this one up special just for you.Â
đđđšđ«đČ đđšđđ:
Mates do not exist in the universe that this fic is set in, meaning Elain is not âoff limitsâ to Az, and Cass is single. Additionally, since mates arenât a thing, marriage/weddings are!Â
 ăăă»ïŒïœĄ  ăăă»ïŒïœĄïœ„ïŸïŸïœ„ïŒïœĄ  ăăă»ïŒïœĄïœ„ïŸïŸïœ„
ÉŽáŽáŽÉȘáŽáŽ: ÊÊ ÊáŽáŽáŽ
ÉȘÉŽÉą áŽáŽê±áŽ áŽÊÉȘê± áŽáŽÉȘɎᎠÊáŽáŽ áŽáŽÊáŽÉȘê°Ê ÊáŽáŽ áŽÊᎠáŽáŽ áŽÊ 18 áŽÉŽáŽ
ÉŽáŽáŽ ᎠáŽÉȘÉŽáŽÊ. áŽáŽÉŽáŽáŽÉŽáŽ áŽáŽÊ áŽáŽÉŽáŽáŽÉȘÉŽ ÉŽê±ê°áŽĄ áŽÊáŽáŽáŽê±. ÊáŽáŽáŽ
áŽáŽ ÊáŽáŽÊ áŽáŽĄÉŽ áŽ
ÉȘê±áŽÊáŽáŽÉȘáŽÉŽ.
 ăăă»ïŒïœĄ  ăăă»ïŒïœĄïœ„ïŸïŸïœ„ïŒïœĄ  ăăă»ïŒïœĄïœ„ïŸïŸïœ„
The first time it had happened, you had been more confused than anything.Â
Azriel had just given Elain a gift for Starfall; a pair of earrings that would glow a warm pink when kissed by the sunâs rays. Her cheeks turned the same color as she admired them, as did the tips of the shadowsingerâs ears.Â
Just one smooth petal rested in your palm as you brought your hand back from covering a cough, pink and delicate and beautiful. You thought that maybe it had landed in your palm before you coughedâ even if there were no peonies in the vicinity and you hadnât even seen one in months. Because there was no way that it had come⊠out of you.Â
The second time it happened, confusion became fear and it swiftly took root deep in your stomach. This time, it was a couple of petals, dewey in your hand as you turned away from your friends, shock running through you.Â
Azriel and Elain were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the love seat in the living room of the House of Wind, spirits being passed around by everyone and laughter filling the air. They had just shared a look you could infer was meant to be a secret between only them, but you had unfortunately witnessed the action. You could hardly breathe as you quickly hid the evidence of your newfound predicament, dumping the petals into a potted plant beside the mantle. You hoped that you were slick; taking a slow sip from your glass in an attempt to rid your throat of that tight, scratchy feeling even though your body was screaming for you to gulp it down.Â
In that moment, you realized that something was wrong with you. It would only take a few more petal-filled fits and two trips to the grand library of Velaris to discover that you wereâ to put it simplyâ completely, wholly, and undeniably doomed. It was there, during the early hours of morn and the empty, candle-lit corridors that you learned three things;
You were in love with your best friend, Azriel.Â
He was in love with someone else.
And you were going to die.Â
âÂ
Things between you and the shadowsinger hadnât always been so difficult.Â
Your relationship was, for many years, easy and left you feeling light; every conversation and interaction cherished. Initially, the pair of you had become fast friends; the other members of the Inner Circle even remarking on how he was usually a little slower to build relations. Perhaps something of your sense of self, intelligence, and silver-thorned wit had something to do with his initial intrigue. That was the guess Feyre ventured, anyway.Â
Once your friendship with the elusive male had blossomed, it was easy to maintain. Though you didnât see him every day, when he did pay you a visit, the two of you made the most of it. The Inner Circle liked to poke at the pair of you, even going so far as to joke about your relationship that was not a relationship. And you and Azriel took it like champs; never wavering, always keeping it light in good fun.Â
But at night when you would crawl into your sheets and close your eyes, sometimes thoughts of him would find you. It was wrong to be thinking of your best friend like this when he so obviously would never feel that way for you, and yet⊠you pondered how his fingers would feel tracing across your naked back. You wondered what it would be like to melt into his arms at the end of the day, how his heartbeat would sound if it was just inches away from your ear, if you could lay your head on his chest.Â
You tried, you really did try to stop the thoughts from coming. But they quickly became more vivid, and more frequent than before. You couldnât rid him from your mindâ couldnât focus when he came near, couldnât hold up your end of the witty volley you usually shared because youâd get flustered if you stared at him for too long. Slowly, you had come to realize that the jokes your friends loved to make werenât just conjectureâ they knew all along that something was there.Â
It made you wonder if Azriel knew, too.Â
He was undeniably one of the smartest males you had come to knowâ your appraisal of him was sparkling, stellar. But when it came to things regarding emotionâ specifically, his own emotions⊠he tended not to be quite as adept. So you had now landed in this confusion-fogged purgatory. Either your best friend knew you harbored feelings for him and he did not return them whatsoeverâ acting ignorant of your emotions. Or he didnât know you were in love with him, didnât even see a romantic relationship with you as a possibility, and maybe⊠if he were enlightened, he would realize that he⊠loved you too.Â
It was that very hope that had you holding out for so long. You so desperately wanted to believe that he just wasnât aware of your feelingsâ of hisâ that you smushed your dignity down and continued to uphold your friendship, never revealing that you felt romantically attracted to him.Â
But the waiting game, of course, came back to bite you in the ass. Because the moment you realized he had started to see someone else⊠you knew that you had deluded yourself for months. All those nights that you laid awake, fantasizing about him and how he would proclaim his love to you⊠they were just fantasies. Nothing of the sort would ever happen.Â
Because now, he had Elain.Â
Herâ the Archeron sister known for her gentle spirit and her striking face. She was quiet, and sweet, and goddamn breathtaking. Of course it had to be her; it couldnât have been some bitch that would actually be deserving of your hatred. Because he was perfect, why would his choice of life partner be anything but? You couldnât think of a bad word to say about the woman.Â
Elain had always treated you with polite kindness, a sense of regality emanating from her and her ethereal beauty. Though she wasnât by any means your favorite female, there was nothing she had ever done to justify even a grain of dislike. You couldnât say your few conversations had been riveting, nor her presence been warm and inviting⊠but they hadnât been the opposite either. Your opinion on her was removed, but pleasant. Hell, if you could stand a blow to the ego, you might even admit you were jealous of the looks almost every male gave her when she entered the room.Â
The jealousy certainly ramped up once you realized that your beloved shadowsinger was one of those males⊠and actually, he was the only one she seemed to return interest toward, which of course⊠was salt in the wound.Â
As the weeks dragged on, their supposedly-secret affair began picking up speed. The sight of Azrielâs warm hazel gaze pinned to her made your stomach churn with unease, the petals itching up your throat more and more often. It became easier to just avoid the both of them in general, and with the absence of their presences, it was easier for you to pretend that everything was fine, and that you could handle your worsening condition on your own.Â
But of course, that was not the case.Â
Because after a few months, the Inner Circle gathered in private quarters above the Night Court Annual Starfall Ball. Thousands celebrated and swirled below you in the ballroom and yet you could only focus on one. It was then that the man who haunted your thoughts stood before the rest of you, pretty Elain tucked under his arm all giddy and shy, and announced they were engaged to be wed.
â
Warm liquid trickled out from the corner of your mouth, your ears ringing as your vision blurred in two, wide waves cleaving and then melting together again.Â
The crisp air felt welcome on your flushed cheeks, cool on your inflamed, ragged lungs. Stars danced above you as they pelted across the sky, and in your haggard state, they seemed to smear into a disorienting and beautiful masterpiece.Â
Someone was kneeling in front of you, large wings casting shadows around broad shoulders as they yelled something you couldnât quite understand. The warm smell of them was comforting and you relaxed slightly, recognizing it was Cassian and slumping as his calloused hands came to hold your biceps. Â
The spliced image of him made it too hard to read the words on his lips. You tried to sit up but your body was drained, making it impossible to move. The Illyrian gathered your limp form into his arms and your head lolled to face the ground, finally piecing together what had happened.Â
A pile of pink, lush petals glistened up at you against the dark stone of the balcony floor, the light from the full moon sparkling off droplets of deep scarlet. It had happened again⊠and this time, it was even worse than before. You had had another episodeâ the evidence of it glaring even in your semi-conscious state.Â
âYouâre in love with himâŠ,â Cassian said slowly, barely even audible.Â
But you heard itâ your body trembling with some sick concoction of shame and relief. For so long you had not uttered a whisper of your feelings, never daring to take ownership of them, let alone share them. There were no words that you could muster, nothing sharp or bright for you to make a response. You were just tired. Indescribably tired. Gods, you were so tired, your limbs felt as if they had turned to stone, and you could slumber for a thousand years.Â
âThis doesnât make any sense,â the male growled, squeezing your limp form closer to his firm chest. âI swear, he⊠Gods, this is fucked.âÂ
You closed your eyes and allowed his body heat to seep into you, finding a small bit of comfort there. Cassian didnât choose to say anything else as the waves of sickness gradually dissipated, leaving you weak and numb.
âCass,â you rasped, barely able to get enough air to speak. âIâm scared.â Your head felt as if it was filled with a thick smogâ struggling to get enough oxygen as you slowly recovered.Â
The Generalâs brow furrowed in pain at your pitiful confession, gathering you closer to his chest and tucking your head in tight beneath his chin. âI know, sweetheart. But youâre not alone. You donât have to do this by yourself, not anymore. Iâm here.â Cassian held you so delicately you wanted to cry, guilt pulsing through you as you realized he must have been terrified to have found you in such a sorry state. âIâve got you,â he murmured, his voice low and full of promise, âIâm not going anywhere.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â you sobbed, woe taking root deep in your chest. Now that you had seen Azriel with herâ like that, so clearly in love with her, parading their affections out in the open, for anyone and everyone to see as he twirled her around the ballroom earlier⊠It was too much. Every part of you throbbed in agony, and you were consumed in fresh throes of self-pity. It was completely humiliating to be this debilitated. All because you were in love with your best friend, and he was in love with someone else.Â
Cassian scrunched his brow, the planes of his chiseled face settling into solid lines as you regained your bearings. âThereâs no need to apologize, Y/n. You didnât ask for thisâ how you feel is not your fault. Your body is already punishing you for simply having feelingsâ donât let your mind join in on the beating too.â
You nodded, tucking your hands into your chest as he sighed and stood, taking you with him. He lifted you into his embrace with the utmost ease, as though you weighed nothing more than a sheet of paper. Your evening dress fluttered with the movement. If anyone caught sight of you two from far away, perhaps it could be construed as romantic, the way he now held you in his strong arms, strolling away from the party.
âYou donât seem as⊠freaked out as I thought you would,â you whispered as he walked with lethal quiet. Shadows stood tall above you as you approached the hedged boundary of the estate gardens, cutting into the overwhelming display the falling stars continued to put on.Â
Cassian was quiet.Â
You took a minute to study his somber expression, trying to read what he was feeling in this moment of recollection. Clearly, he had some experience with this disease before. Otherwise, he wouldâve ran you right inside the ball, or to the nearest healer. But he didnâtâ instead, heâd wandered into the dark hedges of the grounds, concealing you from prying eyes and ears. As if he understood what you would want most in this moment of shattering vulnerability.Â
âIâm not sure why you expect so little of me, little one,â he eventually replied, coming to the center of the area. He perched you beside him on a wrought-iron bench, facing a small fountain whose gentle gurgle drowned out the last hints of the celebration youâd left behind.Â
You frowned. Your lungs felt looserâ distracted by whatever it was that provided Cassian with experience regarding your dreadful illness. It was nearly enough to forget the bomb that had been dropped on you upstairs just twenty minutes ago. âItâs not that, itâs justââ you began. Cass shot you a playful look and you sighed, a smile daring at your lips as you rolled your eyes. âOkay I just meant that before this, Iâd never heard of this kind of thingâŠâ Your voice trailed off, hand reaching to rest on his before you murmured, âIâm sorry you have.âÂ
The Illyrian raised a brow and let out a short, hollow laugh. âOh noâ It wasnât me, I donât⊠Well, never that bad anyway. Iâve just seen⊠how bad it can get. An old friend of mine once had the unfortunate experience of falling ill to this plague centuries ago.â
You nodded and put your hands in your lap, digging a thumb into your palm. âWhat⊠happened to them?âÂ
Cassian closed his lips and sighed, hands bracing his knees. Silence drew out for a long beat before he finally spoke. âHe told the one he loved about his ailment. And they told him..,â he trailed off, gaze darting sideways to land on you. You gestured for him to continue, and he did so after a brief pause. âThey told him they would never have romantic feelings for him. They asked him to have the procedure. They wanted him to live, and if they couldnât love him⊠then that was the only way.â
You shuddered. The very notion of the procedure made your bones ache and your shoulders sag.
âSo he did,â Cassian went on, undeterred. âAnd he survived.âÂ
Quiet invaded the still air, otherwise only interrupted by the low chirps of crickets in the grass and the muffled party. Cassian decided not to speak any further on the subject, instead content to let a calm silence settle between the pair of you. But somehow, you found yourself talkingâ despite never having voiced aloud any of these feelings, any of these thoughts.Â
âCass, do you think⊠I should have the procedure, too?âÂ
It was a question that was fully weightedâ heavy, you already knew, but by the way the Illyrianâs shoulders sagged, the gravity of it all seemed more drastic than before.Â
Cassian took his time to form a reply, but when he finally did, it was in a soft and hushed voice. âI am not the one that should be making such calls, Y/n. But I will tell you that my friend⊠he was never quite the same.âÂ
You shared a look of understanding with himâ he was your friend, and the male you were in love with was his brother. Freshly engaged brother, at that. The consequences of the procedure would certainly crack a deep fracture in the dynamic of your group. If anything, you would probably fade away from everyone, seeing as every one of your memories that the Shadowsinger dwelled in would be taintedâ his absence removed entirely. He would not exist to you anymore, and even if that wouldnât necessarily affect you, oblivious to his existence, everyone around you would not share that same luxury.Â
And Azriel would be there, too. He would have to see you and know that you had loved him so intensely, that those feelings were so wholly one-sided, that you had to physically remove him from your mind. All so that your heart could forget him and start anew. Would that bother him? Knowing that you had suffered because you had fallen in love with him, while he would never possibly feel that way for you? Surely that would make him uncomfortable, to be in your presence after that. So ultimately, it would be best to just move away, and start somewhere elseâ clean slate. Would he even miss you?Â
âSometimes I think about itâ the procedure. This disease, itâs a wretched way to live, Cass. It hurts,â you said, voice cracking as emotion welled up in your eyes and throat. âIt hurts so fucking bad, I canât even be around him anymore. Especially not now. Now that heâsâŠâ You trained off, unable to say the words.Â
Cassian slid to your side, tucking you underneath a strong arm. The shadow of his wing furled around you from behind, encasing you in a warm, safe space. Tears began to race down your cheeks, gathering at your chin and splattering onto the silken fabric on your lap. You couldnât stop themâ still too drained from the fit from before. All you could do was cry as your friend gathered you closer to him, patting the top of your head with careful strokes, trying his best to comfort you.Â
Only once your crying seemed to subside did Cassian offer another solution. âMaybe⊠you could talk to him.âÂ
You laughedâ a hollow, broken sound. Cassian lips curved up at the sound nonetheless. âIâm simply nowhere near as brave as you, Cass.â Shaking your head, your gaze focused on the bubbling fountain before you. âEven if I could manage to face him, and confess to him⊠If he rejected me⊠I think Iâd die on the spot.âÂ
âDonât say that,â he said, voice low.Â
You bit your lip. âAnd why not, Cass? Thereâs a good chance that I could drop dead any time I have one of these fits. Thatâs just reality.â
âWell fuck that reality,â Cassian spat, wings ruffling. âI donât want to live in a world without you, and I sure as hell know Azriel wouldnât either.â
âWell maybe I donât wanna live without him!â you yelled. After holding back your emotions for so long, they just kept flooding out after the hole Cassian had punched into the dam that had kept them at bay. âMaybe Iâd rather die than lose even one memory with him, maybe Iâll just hold out for as long as I can because Iâm too fucking scared to lose him!â
Cassianâs face twisted into agony. âAnd what of those who love you?â he challenged, voice shaking slightly with emotion. âWhat about us, what happens when you die, and when the last memories we will have of you were you withering away before our very eyes?! You love him? Do you know what world of pain he will be in when he finds out what happened to you? And then to discover your absolute complacency in the matter?â
A sob escaped you as you felt every word of truth pierce the feeble veil you had called a shield in your attempt at denial. Your friend was rightâ you couldnât allow this disease to win, not if that meant hurting everyone you loved in the process. And now that you thought about itâ even if you chose to remember him, and let the sickness take its course⊠what good would those memories do you, when youâd be dead?Â
Cassian seemed to realize you had accepted defeat, because he tightened his hold on you and stroked your hair as you cried into his chest. The sadness you felt unfortunately was not alleviated by your tears, but at least⊠you had come to see that there was only one option forward.Â
You had to go through with the procedure.
You had to forget Azriel.
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#azriel x reader#acotar x reader#acotar x you#angelshadowsinger#azriel angst#azriel fic#azriel fanfic#acotar fic#acotar fanfiction#acotar angst#my work#azriel x you#STSPFY series
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Girly pop hear me out school jock scaramouche with childeâs naive sister reader đđ€
âDUMB VIRGINSâ
Jock Scaramouche x Naive!VirginFemReader
Warnings: Nsfw, Naive!Reader, Virgin!Reader,Fem!Reader, nipplepulling, Pervert!Scara, mean!scara, not proofread, Scara is only worried about himself in this, risky sex, no condom, no foreplay: only kissing used as foreplay, cumming inside.
Notes: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, THIS REALLY HAD ME THINKING BUT THATS NOT AN EXCUSE SO I APOLOGIZE DEEPLY I HOPE UR STILL AROUND TO ENJOY IT! And also how do you guys like the new setup?
Childe had made sure everyone knew you were off limits for anything, props to Childe for being so popular. Scaramouche wonders why he wouldnât wanna share his popularity with his little sister, well adopted sister but the way Childe describes you youâre practically his angel, even though youâre an adopted sister he still showers you with love. Youâre a girl who stays to herself and should stay to herself. When Childe begins talking about you he doesnât stop, going on for a good hour about how sweet you are, how he can never deny you of his wallet, your considerate nature, he just downright adores you.
Scaramouche has interacted with you a few times, youâre a cute shy thing, everytime heâs over Childeâs house you make an effort to say your greetings then go right back up to your room. He feels like he might just have an overblown ego but he can see the way you look at him, the way you avert your gaze when talking to him, it really is adorable.
From the little glances you steal Scara has decided he wants you, and itâs bad, so bad he finds himself wanting at night, wanting to ruin and destroy you, he wants to corrupt and fill your head with needless lies sprinkled with some truths.
So he makes an effort to always come over when Childe invites him, only invites because Childe isnât stupid heâll eventually catch on if Scaramouche always asks to come over, sometimes he even has to decline just to take the extra step to ensure Childe doesnât become suspicious, it hurts his heart when he canât see your inviting smile.
One evening when Childe does invite Scaramouche over for dinner and a movie, he obliges, thinking nothing of it because often times Childe does cook for the both of them on movie nights, but never did he expect to see you joining the two of them.
Whilst Childe is distracting himself with cooking you plop yourself only a few spots away from Scaramouche, his eyes wander over your attire, choosing to opt with a loose tank top, and some shorts, he decides then and there heâll try something with you, itâs already evident you want him just as badly even if you havenât verbally said it.
Both of your eyes meet for a second but he doesnât look away this time, instead he pats the spot beside him and urges you over, you look towards the kitchen, Childe seems to be in his own world with his awful singing.
You slide over, your knee just barely brushing against his, he doesnât deem that nearly close enough and fills in the gap of space, heâs bold when he starts to feel up the fat of your thigh, rubbing slowly and sincerely, a slight hitch in your breath eggs him on to slip his fingers In between your thighs but making sure to not overwhelm and touch you âthereâ immediately. The area around you both feels so warm and tense, like a thick cloud of lust slowly devouring the both of you, Scaramouche grips your cheeks and reels you in for a kiss, your first ever kiss. Heâs slow at first, firmly making sure to keep his eyes on the kitchen, he presses his tongue onto yours, you clearly werenât expecting tongue so early so an attempt to pull back is met with him holding your neck tight while he takes away your ability to breath properly.
Heâs so messy with the kiss, pulling back only to force you right back in, even when drool starts to seep from the corner of your mouth he doesnât let you go. Whines are leaving your lips in hushed intervals, out of the corner of his eye Scara can see how youâre rubbing your thighs together, trying to relieve the slight throb of your little clit, he likes this, likes seeing you so defenseless and obedient. He finally deems his bullying enough and lets you go fully.
Loud coughs fill the room, enough for Childe to step out with a worried expression and seeing Scara patting your back.
âJust a coughing fit, nothing to worry aboutâ Scara speaks for you while rubbing the small of your back.
âAlright, you two can come eat now, just finished up plating everything.â Childe says with a beaming smile and walks back into the kitchen.
You meet scaras eyes and a big mocking sneer is on his face, he pinches your nipple hard before getting up and going to the kitchen.
Dinner is filled with Childes bolstering voice as he cracks joke after joke, with Scaramouche urging him to stop and shut up. He surprisingly ignores you the entire dinner, you know he can feel how impatient and needy you are, you give a virgin a taste of something good and they want more, even if itâs something as simple as kissing.
After dinners wrapped up and plates are cleaned, Childe insists he needs a shower, your shy eyes steal glances at Scara every so often, hinting at exactly what the two of you can do, heâs quick to give you that look back, but his is a little darker.
As soon as Childe departs it feels as though all the air is sucked from the room, you havenât looked over properly at him once. Heâs so close you can feel every breath he takes. He begins with raking his fingers up and down your shoulders, sliding up to your thin spaghetti straps, youâre expecting him to stop, to give you a moment to breathe: this is your first time after all, your head is spinning in a million directions.
He doesnât give you a signal or anything before heâs tugging the straps down to expose your cute bralette, he deems that useless and tugs that off your shoulders as well. A gasp makes its way towards your lips and your attempt to cover yourself is met with him gripping your wrists firmly. He stares down at them for a minute, admiring just how pretty they are. He wants to take you as you are now, on display and vulnerable, while your brother is completely ignorant, but he knows he has limited time.
He knows what heâs about to do is bad, possibly risky and dangerous but heâs also not thinking very well, he just wants to be buried inside of you immediately.
Suddenly youâre being manhandled to lie on the couch, with him inbetween your legs. Letting your eyes drift you can see his cock straining against his pants. Heâs lifting up your hips a little to pull your shorts around your thighs, he doesnât want to take them all the way off just incase.
He also does the same to himself: pulling his cock out, now you really get a good look at just how big he is, more long than he is thick. His cock is a pretty tan-pink and very obviously leaking precum.
Heâs also looking at your pussy, it makes him twitch a little to think about how heâll ruin you for any other person, heâll make sure your first time is something to remember, youâre wet from the little bit of kissing earlier, probably not as much as you should be but thatâs something he can apologize for later.
He pushes your legs up towards your stomach but saving room for himself to squeeze inbetween them. He moves to stroke himself a few times, fully getting up to the expression on your face, an attempt at a brave face, he wants to wipe that right off.
He guides himself to your lips, tapping his cock against you, he teases you a little by sliding up and down between your lips again, bumping against your clit has small whimpers leaving your pretty lips.
He finds your hole, and presses against it, youâre quick to brace yourself. Him pushing hurts so bad for you but he does pause in intervals to let you breathe. Every inch is like torture for the both of you, Scaramouche finding it hard to not just shove himself deep within you, and you finding it hard to adjust to just how long he is. When he does manage to get to a good place, tears are filling your waterline, this is where heâll stop. Poor thing, you only had a few more inches to take but he doesnât say that out loud.
He begins fucking into you but not going past the point he had stopped, god you feel so fucking good around him, his dick twitching everytime he pushes inside your wet walls, virgins are really the best. A groan is heard from Scara, huffs as well, as he tells you just how amazing this is.
Itâs starting to make you feel a little jumpy, slight electric shocks are shaking your clit, Youâve never felt like this, the pain is still there but also some pleasure can be felt.
âShiâŠt..â scaras pace increases while he attempts to stay in control, youâll be the death of him, literally. He presses your thighs loser to your shoulders successfully folding you, this lets his cock hit just a little deeper. Youâre whining at this point, trying to stay quiet over Childes shower.
Your mind can only focus on him and his cock, the drag of it only deluding you more and more. He takes his fingers and rubs your clit roughly, getting a loud lewd reaction out of you. You begin tightening around him, pulling him into your heat more and more. Both of you havenât noticed how heâs slipping in deeper an deeper, lust ridden minds only worried about cumming with each other.
His balls are slapping against your ass, this makes the room even louder minus your also loud mewling. At this point your entire pussy is feeling nothing but the urge to come, itâs so different from just rubbing your clit at night, itâs something more awful. Trying to voice on how you feel so weird to Scara is useless as all thatâs spilling is moans. Soon the combined pace and clit rubbing has you pawing to get away from Scaramouche but he holds you down and fucking you meaner, and faster.
You canât move as your body twitches on its own and your cumming all over his cock, he covers your mouth to hide your final and last yelp before your mind goes blank. The aftershocks hurt as his hips wonât stop fucking into you, his stomach hurts and tightens just like yours as he bottoms out and cums inside you.
Scaramouche taps your face a little to hear some praise about how well he did but finds that youâre fast asleep. Heâs quick to situate yourself and have you looking like nothing happened, then doing the same to himself.
A few moments later Childe is out of the shower and walking to the couch.
âAww, of course sheâs the first to fall asleepâ heâs quick to pat your sleeping form as light snores leave you.
#zsworks#genshin smut#genshin x reader#fem reader#wanderer smut#scara smut#scaramouche smut#scaramouche x female reader#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x female reader#wanderer x you#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x y/n
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I just want to say I love Benny and Bunny, I love for these stories. Theyâre so good. Iâm over here like what would he do if she was sick or how would he be visiting her at work bringing her lunch. Keep up the amazing work!!
Thank you for the support, lovie! I saw your other request and i loved that one too, so I'll be getting to that one soon (fingers crossed) This one goes out to all the overworked and tired girlies! đ
Benny x Bunny Masterlist
Word Count- 1.5k+
You noted the bright orange and purple of the sunset streaking across the sky outside your kitchen window as you stood by the sink. You stifled a sigh as you realized you werenât feeling up to your typical sunset stroll. You were otherwise tangled in a flurry of activity â you were behind on starting dinner because you had fallen asleep earlier when you got home from work and ever since you woke up, you felt a heaviness in your limbs and because of that, you still needed to tidy up and start a load of laundry. An unsettling chill broke out against your skin like a shroud, whispering secrets of a blatant illness you refused to acknowledge.Â
Your steps grew increasingly sluggish, each step harder than the last as you tried to power through to finish pulling together dinner. You werenât sick, you told yourself over and over again. It was just a bug going around at your work â nothing more than the sniffles. You could get through this, no problem. It didnât matter that the world around you started to blur at the edges, colors blending into a dull haze. No, you were fine.
You tried to brush off the creeping discomfort as nothing more than just a nuisance, an inconvenience at most. The discomfort was nothing compared to the evening of tasks you had before you. You forced a smile and pushed through, even though the dull ache in your head intensified into a persistent throb.
Benny, who had arrived earlier than usual, leaned against the doorframe, watching with a concerned frown. You looked tired, your movements slow but deliberate, each step marked by a trace of hesitance. The sight tugged at him, a thread of concern weaving into his thoughts.Â
âHey, Bunny,â he called out, his voice softer than usual. He could see it in your posture, the way you leaned against the counter, the slight tremble of your fingers. You were trying too hard to keep up appearances, to brush off whatever was weighing on you. The facade was barely holding, and he could see it. âYou okay?â
You turned and flashed him one of your beautiful smiles, but Benny couldnât miss how it didnât quite reach your eyes. âOh, Iâm fine. Just a little tired.â
Benny wasnât convinced. He took a few steps closer, his pace slow so as not to upset you further. The kitchen, usually a place filled with warmth and laughter, now felt heavy with an undercurrent of distress.Â
âYou donât look fine,â he said, his voice carrying a gentle edge. âYou look like youâre about to fall over. Maybe you should sit down for a minute.â
You shook your head, face falling into a slightly annoyed expression. âNo, Iâve got to finish dinner. Iâve got it, really.â
But he could see the strain etched into your features, the way you clutched the counter to stop from swaying. His heart clenched with a bitter mix of concern and frustration. He recalled all the previous times he had seen you push yourself to the limits, and he clenched his jaw. And of course, here you were, struggling against the exhaustion that gripped you tightly.
Then suddenly, in a fleeting moment as you moved to grab something off the other countertop, you swayed roughly, the color draining from your face and it jolted him into action. The world seemed to collapse around him as he reached out to firmly grip you by your arms, steadying you.Â
âWoah, woah,â he breathed out, his eyes frantically searching yours as he pulled you closer. âThatâs it. You need to lay down.â
Concern roiled within him because you didnât even protest as he scooped you up into his arms and carried you to the bedroom. He handled you as one would a glass object â gentle and carefullyâattentive of your fragility as he lowered you into the bed.Â
âIâm fine,â you said, your voice held a certain weakness to it that caused Bennyâs heart to squeeze almost painfully in his chest.Â
âYouâre sick, Bunny,â he pointed out, his tone holding a firmness that he knew you would respond the best to. This wasnât a time for you to be argumentative (as you so often were). This was serious. âYou need to rest. Youâve been pushing yourself too hard lately.â
âBut what about dinner? I wasnât finishedââ
âIâll finish it,â he cut off your desperate negotiation attempt.Â
Despite the obvious discomfort, you shot him an incredulous look. âBut you always burn everything. Iâve been working on that meal since I got home.â
You were right, but he couldnât admit it. âThat was one time, and it was the oven that got too hot.â
âSure it was,â you playfully rolled your eyes at his poor excuse and you started to sit up, moving to get out of bed.Â
âWoah, woah,â he interrupted, his brow raising. âWhere do you think youâre goinâ?â
âI have to start a load of laundry,â you explained as if it were obvious.
âNo, that can wait until tomorrow,â he argued, a gentle but firm tone in his voice. âOr better yet, Iâll do it. You need to rest, Bunny.â
âItâs probably just a cold. I can still go do that. Plus I need toââ
âI know youâre tough, but you donât have to power through this,â he shut down your protests with a shake of his head as he approached the bedside, pulling the blankets up to cover your lying form better as he went. âNothingâs amiss down there. Donât worry about anything. Let me take care of you, okay?â
âI donât want to worry you,â you professed quietly, a hint of guilt shadowing your expression.
He lifted his left hand, wiggling his ring finger, the gold band glinting in the soft lamplight. He thought the gesture would make you smile, but instead, your frown deepened and you looked away, finding more interest in the fraying thread of the blanket over you.Â
âYouâre always there for me, always taking care of me,â you said, your voice barely above a whisper. âI just donât want to be a burden.âÂ
âA burden?â Bewildered, he repeated the word, his voice firm, almost a little harsh, but softened as he continued, âBunny, you could never be a burden to me. Youâre everything to me. If youâre not okay, then nothingâs okay. Donât you get that?â
Your gaze found his again, a glimmer of unshed tears in your eyes. âI donât want you to feel like you have to take care of me.â
Benny shook his head, his frustration melting to something softer, something gentler. It was impossible to harbor any negative feelings when you were like this, vulnerable and delicate, curled up beneath the blankets. He lowered himself to sit on the side of the bed, his hand enveloping yours tightly. âI donât feel like I have to, (Y/N). I want to. Youâre my girl, and when youâre hurting, I want to be the one to make it better, even if the only thing I can do is to be by your side. In sickness and in health, kid. Those vows are important to me.â
âOh, Benny,â you breathed out, your bottom lip pouting in the way that Benny came to find indicative of when you were experiencing emotions that you couldnât bottle up.Â
He couldnât stand it anymore â the distance between you, the space where the air felt too thick with worry. Wordlessly, he laid down in front of you, pulling you into his chest protectively and you responded immediately, burying your face into his shirt. You fit perfectly against him, like you always did, but tonight there was a fragility that made him hold you just a little closer, a little tighter.Â
You let out a soft sigh, your body relaxing into his warmth, but Benny could still feel the underlying tension in you, the worry that somehow you were being too much for him. Benny hated that you felt that way, hated that you couldnât see that your well-being was his top priority.Â
âBunny,â he whispered, his lips brushing against your soft hair, âyou donât ever have to hide how youâre feeling from me. I want to know. I want to help.â
You nodded against his chest. âI know, sometimes I just . . .âÂ
You trailed off, but he knew. He knew what you were going to say. He brought a hand up to cup the back of your head, his fingers tangling into your hair. âIâm here. Iâm not goinâ anywhere.â
You nodded again, your arms slipping around his waist, holding onto him like a lifeline. And maybe, in a way, he was. But you were his lifeline too. That without you, the ground beneath him would crumble.Â
He held you tighter, his heartbeat a steady rhythm for you to hear. And he hoped you could feel it â the quiet truth that was so much bigger than his words could say. That you were never, and could never, be a burden. Not to him. Not ever.Â
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#sick reader is one of my fav tropes#benny cross#benny x bunny#the bikeriders#austin butler#benny cross x reader#austin butler x reader#benny x reader#austin butler fandom#imagine#sickfic
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if you feel like falling (catch me on the way down) | TWO
á°.á after getting your heart broken by professional soccer player, rin itoshi, all because he loved the game more than you, you officially swear off all men â especially athletes. your publicist doesnât get that memo, though, and you find yourself roped into a fake relationship with yoichi isagi, who isnât just a pro soccer player, but also your exâs rival. things could get messy. ( fem!reader )
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pairing yoichi isagi x reader (endgame), past! rin itoshi x reader word count 5.9k chapter synopsis the busier your schedule, the less time you can spend thinking about rin. the only problem is, you see something you can't unsee. nothing a bottle of tequila can't fix, right? (spoiler: tequila isn't fixing a broken heart) chapter contains partying and drinking to cope, diet culture authorâs notes i have nothing to insightful to add rn, but send me any asks discussing this fic and i will have a lot to say LOL
From: [email protected] To: [USER EMAIL HIDDEN] Cc: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] + 3 others Subject: 6/19 â [NAME] [SURNAME] AGENDA Attachments: đ [6.19 AGENDA.pdf]
All âÂ
Attached is the PDF copy of [Name]âs itinerary for today. Reminder that these times are STRICT. Stay on schedule.Â
Fumiko Gima
Get Outlook for IOSÂ
Your first alarm goes off at 4:50 AM to what you assume is the noise they play on repeat in hell (By the Seaside, an Apple classic). After waking up, you roll over in your king size bed (the problem with always choosing to go big instead of just going home is the fact that when youâre all alone, the luxury of extra space just becomes empty space) to promptly hit the snooze button. Youâll allow yourself five more minutes of sleep (as a treat). When the second alarm you set up goes off at 4:53 AM (By the Seaside, once again), you scream into your pillow, and shut it off for real this time. You knew you werenât going to give yourself the full five minutes, but it felt really good to trick yourself into believing that you would. You always start the day with this tiny disappointment; that way, no one has the privilege of being the first person to piss you off.Â
At 4:54 AM, you slide your feet into your Ugg slippers, readjust the loose straps of your silk camisole, and shuffle into your marble-floored bathroom. You rub the sleep from your eyes, brush your teeth with your pink electric toothbrush, and wash your face. By the time youâre done with your morning skincare, itâs 5:06 AM. You honestly canât remember the last time you did your own makeup, but you bring your makeup bag with you anyway. If thereâs downtime between shoots, youâll post a faux-GRWM TikTok where you apply three miniscule dots of concealer on your seemingly already flawless skin and add a fresh layer of the brand new, limited edition Rhode peptide lip treatment that Hailey Bieberâs team gifted you. They also gave you twenty grand to do so, with a personal âhey girlie, would love to catch up with you one of these days!! life has been so hectic, sorry for not keeping in touch x btw, i just came out with a new shade of myâŠâ text from Hailey herself. (You replied back with a âyessss, we need to meet up soon!! Also, LOVE LOVE LOVE the new shade omg đâ â neither of you have any intention for planning a meet-up, and you donât âLOVE LOVE LOVEâ the new shade as much as you âLOVE LOVE LOVEâ to deposit a fat check.)Â
Youâre sliding into the backseat of the glossy black SUV parked in front of your driveway at 5:14 AM. Your chauffeur, Benji, holds open the door for you.Â
âGood morning, Ms. [Surname],â Benji never drops the formalities with you, except for when heâs lecturing you. Thank God he doesnât own a smartphone; if he saw half the things Daily Mail wrote about you, his voice would be gone from scolding you so much. Even if heâs technically on your parentsâ payroll and is paid to make sure you get to and from places safely, it still feels nice to have someone who cares about you enough to call you out on your shit.Â
The first stop is an exclusive, members-only pilates studio. If youâre home, you have to work out in the morning, no matter what. You like your routine. Out of all the things online magazines put out about you, itâs kind of embarrassing how the most accurate one is revealing how you stay âfit ân flawless even after going out every night.â Most people didnât believe it. Rin got it, though. Rin would actually work out with you, when the two of your schedules aligned, andâ Time to start your workout early! Nothing takes your mind off of matters more than focusing on the burn of your core and arms.Â
By the time you finish your private session, youâre walking out the studio with your puffy tote bag slung over your shoulders. Your body is still a bit damp from taking a quick shower but not drying off properly, and Benji drops you off at your first business stop of the day â ELLE Japan.
You smile brightly as the team of makeup artists surrounding you shower you with compliments. One of the girls brushing on your foundation tells you that you have really nice skin. When she goes in for a second layer, you almost consider rescinding the thanks you gave her.
The set is hectic, as expected. No matter how long these people have been in the industry, no matter how big the host is, something always seems to be going wrong. Apparently, thereâs been a mishap over in wardrobe, and ELLEâs people are not very happy with how this is going to delay everything. With your hair and makeup done, thereâs nothing for you to do besides sit down, be quiet, and look pretty.Â
Downtime is the last thing you want. Youâre used to a busy schedule, but you convinced Fumiko to accept as many projects as possible. If you have to rank at the top of the list for celebrities who emit the most CO2, then so be it. Youâll pollute the whole damn planet if it means you wonât have a single second to be alone with your thoughts.Â
At 9:00 AM sharp, you go on your phone to inform your manager that the agenda is fucked. ELLE Japan is definitely going to push back this session with you for at least a good hour, which means Fumiko is going to have to explain to Your Style (the YouTube channel name for a famous fashion commentator whoâs amassed nearly twenty million subscribers) why youâre going to be late for the Zoom debrief on what you two are going to talk about in an upcoming video. At 9:02 AM, you receive a text.
juli ᥣđ©: u know i love uÂ
Itâs two in the morning in Paris. When Juliette said she was going to visit her father, she said it was going to be a much-needed vacation â just something chill and lowkey, like going to all the designer stores and eating croissants on a balcony. Those were her exact words.Â
juli ᥣđ©: [photo attachment]Â
Somehow, from the neon strobe lights, bodies pressed against one anotherâs, and the way the image is blurry because she couldnât get her phone to focus, it feels like Julietteâs âsomething chill and lowkeyâ morphed into club-hopping all over France. You roll your eyes with affection. You shouldâve known her vacation was going to turn into this; as if Juliette would eat bread for pleasure â sheâs been quoted for claiming that carbs are a necessary evil. She probably hasnât even touched a croissant for the past week sheâs been there.
juli ᥣđ©: showing u before TMZ posts it juli ᥣđ©: [video attachment] juli ᥣđ©: do not freak out. not worth it. juli ᥣđ©: ugh i knew this club sucked ass for a reasonÂ
You wait for the video to load. Itâs almost as blurry and unfocused as the original image she sent, but you can tell she had to zoom in pretty hard to capture what she wanted. Itâs two figures with a minimal amount of space between them. One of them is definitely a girl; she has the build of the usual French models. A thin, leggy brunette who has mastered the intricate art of Just Had Sex hair. Perfectly messy, but could never be considered sloppy. Sheâs wearing a sparkly, tight minidress. The fabric shimmers when the strobe lights pass by her body. The person sheâs practically pressed up against is a man. Tall, lean. Heâs leaning down, presumably so he can hear her better. When the video clip ends abruptly (someone bumped into Juliette, and the video ends with shaky footage and a loud âputain!â), you replay it. And replay it. And then you play it again, just for good measure.
Each time you watch the stupid video, you find something new to notice. Her red lips brushing against his ear. The way his hand hovers near her hip. The way youâre certain sheâs smiling when she speaks, like the smirk of a victor. The exact same self-satisfied, smug grin you sport whenever you get a guy right where you want him. Upon every rewatch, though, one thing remains the same: youâre constantly fixated on him.
Right now, itâs two in the morning in Paris. You know that when you werenât in this fucked up headspace youâre in right now, youâd be in bed, snuggled underneath your blankets, by 11:30 PM. You know that when you felt your best, you could be in bed, whispering in the dark to the person you felt safest with, at 10:00 PM (at the latest, because you both would have a busy day ahead and needed the rest). He likes sleeping early because he likes being well-rested.Â
So why the hell is Rin Itoshi at a club right now?
At 9:39 AM, ELLE Japan gets right back on track. Before your editorial shoot for a special anniversary edition of the magazine, they get you to sit down to do a video interview that they plan on posting all over their social media.Â
âThis is a very special edition that will be coming out, and you are not only having the biggest spread dedicated to you, but youâre also going to be on the cover. Knowing this, how are you feeling right now, [Name]? This might be the most high-profile photoshoot youâve done so far in your career, and thatâs saying something. You have quite the impressive resume.âÂ
The ring lights are shining directly in your eye. The stool they have you sitting on for this interview is uncomfortable, and you have to focus on remaining balanced. Your back is perfectly straight, and your hands are folded in your lap. You blink, and you see the video playing in your mind. You have God knows how much makeup caked on right now, and you still have a long day ahead of you. Rin is at a club right now. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl, and theyâre basically grinding against each other, and he might just have forgotten all about you.
You smile brightly. At 9:40 AM in Japan, you let everyone know,Â
âI honestly think Iâm the happiest Iâve ever been before in my life! This is a great way to establish a sort of, I guess, new era of my life and my career.âÂ
You turn to face the camera directly, giving them a dazzling view of your pearly whites. âNot trying to rush the process or anything, but I am definitely looking forward to seeing how this will all play out in the future.âÂ
Youâre operating on autopilot for the rest of the day. The ELLE shoot wraps up close to noon. You forgo lunch, but knowing you and your tendency to skip meals, Benji refuses to start the car until you eat the lunch his wife packed for you. Itâs light and refreshing â they want you to eat well, but theyâre not cruel. Even if they want to bring you a feast of a nice, hot, home cooked meal, youâll eat it out of obligation and then suffer the consequences on set when everyone asks why youâre so bloated. You donât even taste what youâre consuming.Â
At 12:30 PM, you hop on the Zoom call and pretend to care about discussing matters such as the lack of personal style affecting the younger generations. Every topic is a trivial topic to you. The only thing worth dissecting is that damn video. You shouldâve asked those twenty million subscribers to help you analyze that, instead of nodding along when the YouTuber starts going on a rant about how Shein and other fast fashion brands are ruining everything.Â
Late in the afternoon, you get another text.Â
kenyu: So the team wants to host a belated birthday party for me lmao. Teamâs planning on having it at 10 tonight kenyu: Sending you the address right now
A party is exactly what you need right now. Endless drinks, no need for rational thinking, and youâll be (mostly) surrounded by people who think models are all vain and vapid. No one there is going to expect a decent conversation from you, and with the state youâre in, itâs a wonder how all your sentences are even making sense.Â
You give Kenyuâs next message a like in response. You were expecting a club, but when you click on the address, Maps reveals that itâs residential. Rin is gallivanting around European nightclubs, and meanwhile, the best you can do are house parties. This is how the future is playing out?Â
At least even at your worst, people still think youâre on top of the world.Â
Maybe life without a man dragging you down and invading your space is for the best. After all, once you got done with all your professional obligations, itâs only eight at night. Youâre used to going out with whatever makeup they did for you on set at your last shoot of the day, which is a shame. You have shelves full of makeup thatâs been sent to you by different brands, and one of these nights, you plan on just messing around at your vanity.Â
You like living alone, you decide. You can leave all the lights on if you want, and no one complains about it hurting their eyes. You have full control of the thermostat. You donât have to fight for counter space in the bathroom. Plus, no one can see how youâre living.Â
At 9:13 PM, youâre sprawled on the cool marble floor of your bathroom (squeaky clean thanks to the housekeeper you have come once a week), and instead of rewatching that dreadful video and subsequently crying, you had a quick retail therapy session. Your new Prada heels should be coming within the next two days.Â
You donât get Benji to drive you. Nobody bats an eye at a rich girl having a driver, but it does seem kind of weird to have him drop you off at a party as if you're a tween girl getting taken to the mall. If the house is owned by one of Yukimiyaâs teammates, surely it wonât be too awkward if you had to leave it there because you got too drunk to drive yourself back home?Â
Because â no offense to Yuki, youâre happy heâs getting another birthday celebration â the whole point of even going to this party is to get fucked up. You already know that Juliette had a point â if not TMZ, then at least Daily Mail will be all over Rin and that girl in the club. If that gets leaked, then you might as well have your own headline to combat his. Sure, lately youâve been out partying, but that was with other models so it doesnât raise too many eyebrows. Rin being caught at a club is basically him hard launching the breakup. You need to raise some speculation on your side of things, too.Â
you: can you get someone to pick up my car from this address tomorrow morning? you: please :)Â
When you see three dots appear, you smile for real. You can practically hear her sigh and see the shake of her head.
Fumiko Gima: Yes. Fumiko Gima: Be safe.
Aw, maybe your manager does have a heart. Right before you can send her a heart, she adds:
Fumiko Gima: Donât stay out too late. You have your first shoot at 8 AM.Â
This is the message you give a heart reaction to. Maybe everything really is just business with her.Â
You suppose you canât fault Fumiko for always seeming cold. Sheâs your manager, not your best friend.Â
In this industry, her honesty is refreshing. You normally find this to be the case, but you really feel it now when you step into the mansion and hear a cacophony of laughter swarming you from all sides. At every turn, thereâs a celebrity with a drink in hand. Everyoneâs leaning towards each other, as if theyâre so captivated with the otherâs words.Â
You see an actor leading a stumbling model up the spiral staircase. To your side, you see a baseball player chatting up the daughter of one of the baseball leagueâs board members. Upstairs, someoneâs probably snorting a line off Yukimiyaâs teammateâs bathroom counter. There are only three reasons why people in your social circle attend these parties: to get fucked, to get fucked up, or to make business deals. Considering the fact that youâve been here for nearly five minutes and have yet to see a birthday cake â or the belated birthday boy himself â youâre pretty sure everyone here has lot the damn plot for the original celebration.
When you venture some more, you end up in the massive backyard. Some people are drunkenly making out in the pool, some people are watching them, and in a table in the corner, you spot a group of girls giggling and cheering as they all do shots. Perfect. This is exactly where you need to be.Â
Oneâs a model; youâve seen her on a couple pages you flipped through in Harperâs Bazaar. You go up to the table and give her a bright smile.
âHey, girl! Or should I say Miss Bazaar?â You greet her like how you think people would tease a friend. Sheâs not your friend; you donât even know her name. You know she knows your name â everyone here does. And itâs because of the fact that everyone knows you that she lights up when she realizes youâre speaking to her.Â
A photo op with you guarantees that even if the headline coming out tomorrow is centered on you, sheâll still be in the frame. Daily Mail will add a caption naming everybody from left to right, and sheâs planning on being the one captured right next to you.Â
â[Name]!â She squeals, giving you a quick side hug. âHow have you been?â
All your friends, the grand total of exactly two people, know how youâve been. You grin, pointing to the bottle of tequila they have on their table.Â
âAfter how this day has been, I honestly just need a shot.â You play it off like a joke, and as someone pours you one, you add, âOr maybe like five.â They all giggle before throwing back the tequila straight. They might think youâre joking, but this table full of strangers are the first people youâve been honest with all day.Â
At 12:15 AM, they arenât strangers anymore. In fact, you think they might be your best friends in the whole world. You donât know the lyrics to the rap song blaring through the bass boosted speakers, but youâre laughing as you take another shot. The Harperâs Bazaar girl is doing another shot with you, but she has her phone in her other hand. She makes sure that the both of you are in the frame together, and a second later, sheâs tagging you in an Instagram story you donât bother to view. Youâre not even following her.Â
âOkay, so out of all the guys here, who looks the most fuckable?â One of the girls leans on the table for support as she asks this question. You canât help but notice how glittery her lipgloss is. Wow, even after all the shots sheâs taken, thereâs no transfer. Impressive. âI say Theo Sachs.âÂ
âWho the fuck is Theo Sachs?â Harperâs Bazaar asks, and the whole entire table giggles. Honestly, at parties like these, laughing comes easy. In fact, youâre giggling right with them, even though you also have no fucking clue who Theo is. Thereâs just something so freeing in tequila-induced joy.Â
âUm, the host of this party?â Glittery Lipgloss says. âOh my God, girl, heâs like, one of the players for Bastard.âÂ
âThe fuck is Bastard?â Another girl asks, adjusting her blue minidress.Â
âThe soccer team!â Glittery Lipgloss is too drunk to be fed up, but youâre sure she would be rolling her eyes if she could.Â
âI didnât know we had soccer players here. I only saw baseball players.â Blue Minidress frowns, before adding, âI would totally fuck one of the baseball boys, though. No preference whatsoever. Matter of fact, I could take the whole team.âÂ
Harperâs Bazaar laughs. âWhat about you, [Name]? Who are you taking home tonight?âÂ
Before you can think of something to say, Glittery Lipgloss groans. âOh my God, she has a boyfriend.â She looks at you for confirmation. You donât give her any, but thankfully Blue Minidress has her own insight to add to this conversation.Â
âSo what the fuck does that have to do with her question? [Name], who are you taking home tonight?âÂ
Nobody. Out of every party youâve gone to this past month, you went back home, completely and utterly alone each and every time. Itâs not even because nobody offered â they have â but because no matter how lonely you may get or feel, you donât like strangers in your space. It took you three months of dating Rin to let him into the penthouse you were originally staying in, and that was with you being in love with him.Â
Once again, youâre saved from answering when someone behind you goes, â[Name]?âÂ
You turn around, only to come face to face with Yoichi Isagi. On second thought, maybe this isnât the rescue you thought it was. Drunk You canât hold back your frown when you see him. Heâs wearing a dark blue polo shirt and chinos. He looks perfectly business casual and could pass off as an off-the-clock investment banker instead of the world class athlete youâve heard he is. Then you let out a little snort of laughter, which only makes him look more confused. You donât want to tell him that itâs kind of funny how normal he looks.Â
Not in a bad way. Youâre surrounded by models for practically the whole day. Looking unattainably hot or having ethereal beauty is the one non-negotiable job requirement. Even Rin, with his stupidly long lower lashes and impossibly high cheekbones and his pretty boy resting sulking face, is serving standards some male models canât achieve. Isagi looks like the type of guy you would have a crush on if the two of you were completely normal and attended regular high school together.Â
But thatâs not the reality youâre living in. Right now, youâre getting drunk with girls you donât know, and every night, youâre making headlines. Heâs a professional athlete that everyone at this table would gladly fuck just for a chance to be declared social mediaâs favorite WAG of the Week. The both of you could have your pick of anyone at this party, but you refuse to let anyone in, and you think Isagi might be one of those intense athletes who only care about their sport.
If thatâs the case, heâs doing every girl a favor by not pretending he can commit to anything but soccer. You know someone who could use a few pointers.Â
âHi,â you mumble, and then you want to slap yourself because why the fuck are you acting like youâre nervous? But for some reason, you feel like you're a kid caught with their grimy hand in the cookie jar, like youâre doing something wrong.
âI didnât know youâd be here.âÂ
âWell, itâs Kennyâs birthday party. Of course, Iâd be here.â You cross your arms against your chest, feeling like you have something to prove. Before Yukimiya became his teammate, Kenyu was your friend first. Like, real friend, not just someone you leave supportive comments on their Instagram post type of friend.Â
Isagi actually smiles when he hears that. âFunny. I think everyone but Yukimiya actually wants to be here.âÂ
You sober up a bit when you hear that. âYeah, I couldnât find him anywhere.â Not that you looked very hard. The minute you found this table of girls, you didnât bother exploring the rest of the mansion.Â
âHe was upstairs with some of the guys. You know that he, uh, doesnât really like these types of parties.â He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.Â
âYou donât seem like the type to like these parties either.â If he was anyone else, youâd be saying this to flirt. Youâre honestly not sure what your intention behind this comment was, either. Youâre too drunk to decide if you wanted it to be an insult (some way to defend Yukimiyaâs behavior?) or just you trying to make conversation for once (youâre not normally one for small talk).Â
âCaught me.â Isagi smiles easily. From now and thinking back to Yukimiyaâs birthday lunch, Isagi is rarely not smiling. You wonder if he means it. Surrounded by people who only let you drink with them because being seen with you elevates their own status, you decide that the answer to that is a probably not. âI was about to head out before I thought I saw you, and I wanted to come by andâŠâ For a second, he pauses to choose the right words to say. âJust wanted to see if it really was you.â
âWell, you saw me. Guess your business is done here.â Then you swiftly turn your back to him, as if to abruptly end the conversation. Instead, youâre drunker than you realize, and your heel ends up being wedged deeper into the grass than you expected, and you lose your balance. You think you might fall, which would be so embarrassing, but maybe not as embarrassing as what actually ends up happening.
What actually ends up happening is that Isagi is quick to wrap his arm around your abdomen, pulling you close to him as he attempts to keep you steady and upright. The girls looked shocked, but then they burst into another round of giggles, and since youâre not joining in the laughter, all you can think about is how annoying they are. You squirm around in his grasp, ignoring the whiff of fresh laundry you get from being all up in his personal space (not by choice!!!; heâs the one that pulled you in, after all!), and he releases you.Â
âAre you feeling okay?â He asks you. Itâs hard to glare at him when he looks so genuinely concerned.Â
âNever better.âÂ
âDo you have a ride home?âÂ
What does it matter to you? Is what you want to say.Â
âIâll call an Uber.â You lie, hoping that this will end the conversation once and for all. Seriously, Isagi just killed the whole vibe of the party for you. You want to go back to drinking.Â
âBut I thought you didnât do Ubers.â When Isagi calls you out on your bullshit, you soften momentarily. You almost forgot that he heard about your weird thing of having strangers know your home address. Then, you go back to giving him the cold shoulder. Sometimes, itâs a warm and gooey feeling to be known. Right now, you want to drown your sorrows in tequila and be showered with fake affection by girls who probably donât even like you sober. You didnât come to this party to be known. You came here for revenge.Â
(Youâre not going to acknowledge how drinking your sadness away isnât necessarily showing up Rin, but for nearly an hour straight, you hadnât thought about him, and thatâs good enough.)Â
When you have no response to that (wit doesnât come easy when youâre in the condition youâre in right now), Isagi looks at you imploringly.Â
âLet me take you home.âÂ
You shake your head childishly, almost saying nuh-uh. âJust because you donât like this party doesnât mean I donât like it. Iâm staying right here.âÂ
He finally frowns. âFine. Iâll wait for you to finish up here, then Iâll take you home.â
âIâm with my friends right now. Leave me alone.âÂ
He raises an eyebrow. âReally? Which friend is going to make sure you get home safely? Yukimiya already left early.â Despite the two of you not knowing what the other is thinking, you both give wry smiles about that statement for the same reason. The party is still going on strong, despite the guest of honor not wanting to show his face and leaving early.Â
âThese are my best friends.â You gesture to the trio of girls you know nothing about, besides the fact that they can keep up with your drinking habits. They all smile at Isagi, who waves back before turning his attention back to you.
âReally?â He asks. âWhatâre their names again?â
No one has anything to say to that, especially you. When the silence gets too awkward, Isagi clears his throat and also puts his foot down.
âIâm taking you home, [Name].âÂ
You look at the trio of strangers you just spent hours with. Harperâs Bazaar shrugs, and the other two look away. The sting of not knowing who they are, despite them obviously having enough notoriety to be invited, makes your âbest friendsâ not your friends anymore. Whatever.Â
âFine.â You grumble, following Isagi to his car.Â
âDid you have fun tonight?â Is what he asks you as he signals to make a turn. The clicking of the turn signal is the only thing that fills the silence in the car.Â
No.Â
Sometimes, itâs fun in the moment, but thatâs only when youâre drunk enough to trick yourself into thinking youâre having a good time. Youâre more like Yukimiya (and â gross â Isagi) than they know; the whole âIt Girl dominates the party sceneâ vibe youâve got going on⊠Itâs just bullshit that your PR team mixes together to get people talking. The high of being adored by everyone in a room vanishes almost immediately the minute you go home and wash off your makeup. In the bright lights of your bathroom, you stare at the sad, lonely girl in the mirror. Itâs too dark outside for you to see anything out the window, but you lean your head against the cool glass, and before you know it, youâre waking upâŠ
To Isagi groping you?
Youâre groggy and confused and trying to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes, but Yoichi Isagi is definitely all up on you. Youâre shocked, honestly. He looks like such a sweet guy! No wonder he was so pushy in getting you home.
Heâs holding you in some awkward side hug, and heâs patting down your waist, trying to slip his fingers through the fabric of your dress, and finally, because he must be a novice-level pervert who doesnât know the first thing about female anatomy, you speak up.Â
âGross! You canât even feel up a girl properly! No wonder you take advantage of drunk, vulnerable girls!âÂ
âAh!â He jerks back, shocked that youâre awake. Serves the pervert right. He should be backing up. You took a month of kickboxing classes (your modeling agency thought it would be the next big thing, since all the Victoria Secret models kickbox â they were wrong). âI-I wasnât feeling you up!âÂ
âThen why were your hands all over me?âÂ
âI was looking for your key! You were asleep, and you looked like you needed it, so I just carried you to your door, but itâs locked.â
Oh. Likely story. Youâre not letting him off the hook just yet.Â
âObviously my front door would be locked, dumbass. Who doesnât lock their house?â You point to the perfectly trimmed hedges by your door. âKeyâs in the bushes.â
Since youâre making no moves to get down on your knees and rifle through the bushes, Isagi sighs and does it himself. When he holds up the key, you nod in thanks, take it, and then proceed to unlock the door using your fingerprint.Â
He blinks. âWhat?âÂ
âWhat?â You repeat back, innocently.Â
âYou didnât even need the key to unlock the door!â
âYes, Isagi. Modern technology is something, isnât it?â And because you feel kind of bad, you offer him the chance to wash up before driving back.Â
âYouâre really something, you know that?â Isagi says from the kitchen sink. Youâre sitting on a stool by the counter.
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âItâs nothing bad.â He clarifies. âItâs just⊠Rinâs a pretty private person. We always wondered what his girlfriend must be like. Sorry.â He shuts off the faucet, dries his hands. âEx-girlfriend, I guess.â
âHow do you know that?â Youâve been racking your brain, wondering if Yuki spilled your secret accidentally. Or â even worse â Rin himself confirmed it. Rin never even told anyone explicitly that the two of you were dating, so itâs not plausible that he would go blab about the breakup.Â
âWell, I didnât really know for sure until I drove you home that first time.â He admits. âI just thought you made a weird face when I mentioned Rin during lunch, and then you started acting funny afterwards. Just had a hunch, thatâs all.âÂ
Great. So, Isagi, whoâs basically a stranger to you, could read you to filth. Is there anyone else that you havenât been fooling? How embarrassing. Being perceived sucks.Â
You donât say anything else. You can hear Isagi mumbling about something, and you make a half-hearted noise in reply, but youâre sleepy and drunk and coming to the realization that you canât keep fooling everyone around for long. Thereâs no point in dancing around the topic of your breakup. Itâs getting tiring, anyway.Â
It is pretty exhausting to be pining after someone whoâs not coming back.Â
Because thatâs why youâre trying so hard to keep the breakup a secret. Partly for pride, but mostly because⊠Youâre hoping that after learning everything there is to know about you, Rin Itoshi wouldnât go so far to cut you so deeply by leaving you. Right? He understood your level of loneliness like no one else, and he related to it. For the first time in both of your lives, the two of you suddenly found the right person to fill in all the empty spaces.Â
And then he left, and the emptiness just continues to grow in infinite amounts.
You groan as you move around, only to find that youâre moving on top of your bed. Youâre tucked into your sheets, and your hair is splayed across your pillow. You turn your head and see a shadowy figure exiting out your bedroom door.
âYouâre leaving, too?âÂ
Your throat is dry, and the words come out small. You hate this feeling of hopelessness and vulnerability, and the figure pauses in his steps.Â
He hushes you gently. âYou should go to sleep. Youâve had a long night.âÂ
âFine. Donât stay. I donât care.â You burrow yourself further into your blankets.Â
âDo you really want me to stay?âÂ
At one in the morning, covered in the darkness of your bedroom, you turn every shadow into Rin Itoshi. You donât know what you mumble in response, but you know that whatever you said, itâs directed towards him.
#yoichi isagi x reader#yoichi isagi x you#isagi x reader#one shot#fluff#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#rin itoshi x reader#smau#series: if you feel like falling
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How Does Your Person View You?
This reading is the subjective point of view from your person. It might be or might not be true.
Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.
Pile 1:
You're always on the move and not very emotional. You go and get what you want and aren't afraid to fight for it. You defend your point of view/ believes , but you don't go out of your way to start conflicts. If you're being attacked, then obviously you'll defend yourself.
They see you're up in your head a lot. Very dreamy, imaginative, full of ambition. A little stubborn at times, but with reason. To them, you're standing on stable ground and have valid reasons to be stubborn.
They see you as a knowledgeable person and that you have so many opportunities to succeed in whatever you put your energy in (however they view success).
They don't see you as an emotional person because you haven't really let them see that part of you. When things are getting too personal, you might change the topic and revert back to the composed you.
They admire you. They see you so high up and that you are capable of achieving anything and everything. For most of you, your person has seen you evolve into this 'new' you. They want to know you better, including your emotional side.
Songs: More Than A Friend - girli | Washing Machine Heart (Speed) - Mitski | Two - Sleeping At Last
Pile 2:
An old soul. You're not new in this world let alone, in this universe. They feel like you've gone through so much, but that you've learned from that and continued your path. You're not living in the past. You reflect a lot, but they see you applying what you have learned, into the present.
They think you're a bit lonely, even misunderstood, for some of you. You're so in tune with nature/universe/spirit - what that might look like for your person. You know what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, and what you'll do about it. They see you as a calm collected person.
There's this fear of getting close to you because they don't feel that they're at your level. They view you as knowledgeable in regards to spiritual topics and your person thinks they aren't so spiritual. They are open to it, but there's this irrational fear of you looking down on them for not knowing much.
Regardless of gender, they view you as a masculine person. You make decisions and act upon them. They're amazed by you and they think that you don't think very highly of them. You might have a bit of a resting bitch face without knowing.
Songs: She Likes A Boy - Nxdia | Miss You - Louis Tomlinson | Magia Blanca - Hermanos Carrion
Pile 3:
You limit yourself a lot but they also see you so free, flowing, and in tune with yourself, but for some reason, you limit yourself so much. Your person is frustrated. They don't know what they can do to help you realize this.
"Why do they stop themselves so much? Why do they hold themselves back so much? Why do they hide so much? Why aren't they showing their authentic self, their talents, their light to the world?"
From their point of view, there's nothing holding you back from doing anything. The Devil and 10 of Swords are in reverse - meaning you are free to do what you wish, but you think so low of yourself for a reason they don't understand or see, causing all those opportunities and freedom from happening.
It seems that you're open and trust your person, that's why they see all these amazing things about you. They have strong feelings towards you, but they feel that if they let you know, you'll reject them because of your poor self-esteem.
You think you're the worst being in the world, but they don't understand why you would think such a thing. They see you as the brightest light. The brightest of them all.
"Why are they looking for a devil that isn't there?"
Songs: I Really F**ked It Up - girli | Chance With You - mehiro | Drinking With Cupid - VOILĂ
~*~*~*~
I hope you liked the reading! Thank you for being here!
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âË. à ËââŠË.ËâŠâË à§ .Ëâhey girlies, âË. à ËââŠË.ËâŠâË à§ .ËââË. à ËââŠË.ËâŠâË à§ .Ëâv
as promised, here are 15 things that helped me seriously level up. I'm so sick of seeing the same things on every blog post and it's just like stay hydrated!!
try new hobbies until you find ones that bring you the most fufillment!! (examples to try: art, crochet, writing, making music, photography, gardening, cooking)
find YOUR exercise, whether it's yoga, pilates, sports, weight training, dance. I can't stress this enough.
I know meditation seems cliche, but it really can help clear your mind and bring balance. a tip that helps me is to visualize your tongue relaxing, almost like it's floating. that will help silence your mind so you can fully surrender.
pay attention to your diet. so much of what we eat is processed junk food. try to eat 80% Whole Foods and 20% processed foods. meal prepping really helped me also not buying junk food at all. this step seems difficult but i promise there is a healthy alternative to most of your favortite foods. remember, you are what you eat ;)
when it comes to beauty, the simpler the better (its also cheaper!!) some things I would invest in would be coconut and castor oil because they can be used on everything. also a gel nail kit and a good electric razor for your face. the more you obess on every detail the more it will consume you. you are enough and don't need a million beauty hacks. (also sun-in works nice for natural highlights)
no company is better than bad company, don't accept low-vibe behavior from ANYONE
make an it girl playlist with upbeat songs from rihanna, lady gaga, katy perry, marina, and other 2000s hits. I don't know what it is but those songs will bring out the inner goddess in you.
don't compare yourself to anyone!!!! everyone is on their own journey, focus on yours. everyone has their own energetic signature. be yourself. stop wanting to impress others.
listen to binaural beats if you have blocked chakras or want to attract wealth, love, luck etc). they're also super relaxing.
give up all your limiting beliefs, anything is possible if you want it bad enough. it's gotta be someone, why couldn't it be you?
go with the flow, things happen for a reason. if you find yourself regretting a decision, remind youself that the other choice may have been worse, how do you know??
take ownership for your problems, the only one to blame is yourself. i am a firm believer that you can change anything you don't like about your reality. you deserve happiness.
live in the moment. ask yourself are you enjoying the moment, if not, what can you change. if you can't change anything, LEAVE. protect your peace girl!
stop insecurity from the root. you don't love yourself becuase you haven't worked on yourself. you are a garden that needs watering. i promise, once you complete this list you will love the person you become.
surround youself with love. do every task out of love. speak every word from a loving place. love everyone. we are all human.
i really hope this helps. this list came from YEARS of self-work. i created this blog so girls can learn how to become their most healed beautiful selves.
love you girlies!! âË. à ËââŠË.ËâŠâË à§ .Ëâ
#aesthetic#girlblog#girly#music#becoming that girl#self care#divine feminine#girlblogger#coquette#self growth#manifestation#self development#healing#that girl#it girl#it girl habits#divinefeminine#lanadelrey
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Summer girly
Glow-up tips đžâïž
Things Iâm trying to do everyday to become THAT girl for/in summer
Wake up at 7am everyday âïž
Brush hair/practice cute and different hairstyles!
Drink Water/Green tea. Cut out juices/sugary drinks etc
Basic hygiene routine. Shower, brush teeth, wash hands, sanitise etc
Eat lots of fruits and veggies đ„
Go for a 30min-1hr walk around my town everyday
Try and get in 10,000 steps daily đŁ
Journal everyday. (Write in diary, to-do lists, and write out daily/weekly goals)
Limit screen time đ«
Pick outfits out the night before so I have more time in the morning!
Practice Yoga/Pilates in the morning or before bed
Read 30 pages of a book everyday đ
Shower routine. (Scrub, shower gel, moisturise, shave etc)
Skincare routine every morning/night đŠ
Watch one new ep of a show Iâve been meaning to watch
Listen to music that makes me feel good!
Get 8-10 hours of sleep every night đŽ
Not eating anything after 9pm/before bed time
Take time to go on Pinterest đ It inspires!
Talk to family/friends everyday!
Do something you enjoy đ
Trying to do these things everyday may seem tough in the beginning, but practice and repetition is key. Once you start doing these everyday you will see MASSIVE differences!!
Take baby steps and be yourself/focus on yourself
âïžđ„đž
Happy summer darls! <3
#baby pink#coquette#coquette aesthetic#lana del rey#girly pink#girly#girly aesthetic#girly girl#girly kei#girly stuff#glow up#glow#girly blog#cute girly#girly style#girly fashion#summer#habits#that girl#pink pilates princess#pink pilates girl
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