#do not fucking give up anything for people who hate you

[justwonder113]

Drunk Chan confessing to you -inspired by this lovely ask

Warnings: Cursing as always. Chan's Pov. Reader is gender neutral. Chan is whipped! Chan thinks reader is dating someone. Childhood friends to lovers. Misunderstanding with a happy ending. Chan is drunk but not that much, more like tipsy. word count-3.4k A/N- Sorry this took me ages to write but I hope you'll enjoy reading. Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated.

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Chan felt like he was about to lose his mind and weirdly enough it wasn’t because one of the boys did something to either piss him of or to just to be a general menace. No his distress was caused by a whole another thing or better say someone. How in the world was it possible for someone look this gorgeous, so ethereal and breathtaking on a regular fucking Friday?  

He knew he was whipped for you. He made peace with that simple yet not so simple fact years ago. He also knew that he found you absolutely beautiful. Whenever he tried to think of something beautiful your image always popped up before anything else. It was simple as that for him, like the fact that the sky was blue, the grass was green and you were definition of a word bewitching for him. 

Maybe it was a little bit of alcohol he had drunk earlier affecting him, maybe he just fell for you even harder right now (if it was even possible). But right now, as he watched you talk with the boys about god knows about what, he thought that you were the definition of the word beauty. He didn’t know if he wanted to stare at you for as long as possible and bask in your beauty and presence of if he should go to Hyunjin and ask him to teach him paint so that he could capture just how beautiful you looked. But knowing himself, even if it was possible to capture all of it on paper... Chan liked to think of himself as a selfless person, or at least he tried to be, but he was an honest man. If it was possible to capture how captivating you truly were, he would just keep it to himself, he would become the most selfish man in the world. And maybe he was. All he could think about right now was that your attention wasn’t on him, that you paid your mind to someone other than him. It didn’t matter that that “someone” was his friends, the people he considered his family. He wanted all your attention on him, he wanted you to look only at him. God he was losing his mind. When did he become so needy and desperate for your attention? He felt pathetic, how would you even look at him when he acted this way? He reminded himself something he did for years now. That you deserved way better than him, you deserved someone who would give you the world, someone who would cherish you the way you deserved. Even though he would do absolutely anything for you, even though he would make impossible possible for you, even though he would let the world burn for you, you deserved someone who would do even more for you and more importantly always be there for you. He wasn’t worthy of you not with the relationship he had with his work. God, it killed him whenever he had to cancel plans with you and couldn’t be there for you because he had to work. As much as he loved what he did for a living, the same love turned into hate because it kept him away from you. There were even times when he considered to just fuck it and quit, but what would he even do in life? There was literally nothing else he could see himself as. Without a job without a passion what worth did he have? What could he do?  

God, he felt pathetic. He was thinking about all this as he stood a chance with you in the first place. You always had looked at him and saw him as a friend. Maybe there was a moment there and there where it seemed that there could be something more. But your relationship although the years had been strictly platonic. He had given up on hoping for something more years ago. 

He had come with peace with the fact that he couldn’t be something more for you. Maybe it was for the good. You could live your life to the fullest. He was fine loving you from afar. 

God all he could think about was how cute you looked. Your hair was still messy, because you rushed here when you noticed that all of them were quite drunk when you called to check on them, and you were wearing that way too big hello kitty hoodie with the matching black pants Chan got you as a joke that you kept wearing because it was really comfortable. Your whole look today screamed that you only cared about being comfortable and that you were grumpy that you had to get up in the middle of the night to get your silly friends. Still in Chan’s eyes you looked like you hung the stars yourself. 

 God he was obsessed with you. There was no better way to describe the feeling really. Even now the moment your gaze shifted to him and you gave him that sweet smile... He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His body felt warm all over yet he felt his lungs were frozen in place. 

“How are you feeling Channie?” You asked him with that sweet voice of yours. In seconds his mind was swarmed with all the possible lyrics he could use to write yet another song dedicated Soley for you that he kept hidden in his laptop.  Well, hidden was a nice word. All of the boys knew of that file and Chan was more than few times relentlessly teased for his crush on you. They kept pestering that he should just confess, or at least show you all the songs he had written for you and let them do the job for him, but he just couldn’t. 

“Better now that you’re here.” He slipped before he could even stop himself. What if he made you feel uncomfortable? You two flirted from time to time, but lately he had this rising suspicion that you were seeing someone and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. All he knew was that he would rather die than make you uncomfortable with his silly little crush. 

Thankfully for him and his heart you chuckled and immediately his whole heart was filled with joy. “Well, I’m glad. I’m here to bring you home, because little birdie here told me that you had been asking for me all night.” You mused all sweetly. Chan’s head immediately snapped towards Minho, who grinned at him all triumphant. He would have to have a word with him later. 

“God I will kick his ass later. You didn’t have to come. I had no idea he told you to get here. You must have been tired.” Chan only stopped rambling when he felt you place your hand on his shoulder. You looked at him with eyes shining brighter than all the stars combined. It was his words yes and he would stand by it. 

“Calm down Channie.”  Your voice was calm, soothing. If there was one thing he had to choose to listen to till the end of his life he would, without a thought, choose your voice. Your kind, beautiful, soothing voice. He loved whenever you showered him with affection and complemented him. Hell, love wasn’t strong enough of a word to describe how he felt, he was on the cloud nine whenever you said even something sweet to him. But the thing about your voice and presence to him was that, even if you weren’t complimenting him or just being sweet. Even if you were just telling him about how your day went, he felt this serenity, this calmness. Whenever he was with you his mind always just shut down. It went silent. And he could actually enjoy living in a moment and enjoy his life to the fullest. Would there even be time when he would be able to convey in words just what you meant to him? Maybe then he would actually stop and be proud of himself as a lyricist. 

“Do you want me to be here?” Your teasing tone quickly bought him back to reality. 

“What kind of question is that? Of course I do!” Chan was quick to protest which made you chuckle. God there it was, that beautiful sound. Suddenly everything felt all right. 

“Whipped!” He heard Minho cough into his fist. He would really have to kick his ass later. 

Chan was about to ask you about how you were, how your day went, mundane stuff like that when he heard your phone ring.  “Sorry Channie one second.” You quickly checked your phone. The slight furrow of your brows was quickly replaced by a gentle smile. You quickly raised your finger to give you time and went a few steps away to talk on your phone. He couldn’t really decipher what you were saying to that person but your voice... You sounded do genuinely happy talking to that person.  

The ringing in his ears raised in volume when he caught you call that person “babe”. Did he fully lose you? Did you really start seeing someone? Was the distance between you so big that you didn’t even tell him you were seeing someone? Did he mess up so bad that you didn’t even feel comfortable confiding in him? 

Too caught up with the turmoil in his head he didn’t even notice for a moment a figure approach you. When he brought his gaze on you, you were talking with some man. Sweet smile adorning your face, your eyes shining brightly. Was it that someone? You weren’t talking on the phone anymore. The way you were talking to him you clearly knew him.  It also didn’t help him at all that the man you were talking to was objectively really handsome. There was no way he could compete with a person like him. God, he felt like a joke. There wouldn’t even be a competition. He should be able to face reality now. He had spent years helplessly yearning for you. He should know by now that he didn’t stand a chance with you. God, he felt like crying. 

The rest of the night was a blur. He didn’t even remember how he got into your car. Or the road you took. The last thing he remembered was how he saw you hug that man goodbye. Good thing that man wasn’t accompanying you that day and he returned to his friend group shortly after. He wasn’t sure he was ready to be introduced to your boyfriend. Not that he would ever be. 

It was funny how one moment you could be having time of your life and the next second it could be ruined by one single thing. Chan barely felt like talking, let alone smile or anything of that sort. And as it turned out his mood was contagious. The whole ride was quiet. Chan couldn’t even remember the time where all of them were in the same space and it was actually quiet. 

However, why you were silent and didn’t talk at all was a mystery to him. Did that man upset you? If that was the case, he would gladly murder someone. No one got to mess with you, not on his watch. 

“Channie?” Your voice brought him back to reality. He must have zoned out again. That two extra shots he drank as you talked with that man really messed with his head. As if he wasn’t already tipsy enough. “Are you okay?” You sounded worried. Was it this apparent he was sad? What was he even supposed to say? 

“I’m just tired.” He managed to mumble out after a second or two. 

“What do you think about sleeping over at my house?  We haven’t hung out in a while. I can not be deprived of my best friend for too long you know that.” You whined all cutely making his heart flutter uncontrollably. But he quickly got reminded of the fact that you were not his. And the small smile that wanted to break through got quickly replaced by a deeper frown. 

“I don’t think we should.” It brought him physical pain to utter these words to you. 

Now it was your time to frown. “Why is that?” God, you sounded so sad. It killed something inside him knowing he was the one causing you pain. You quickly backed down. “I mean if you don’t feel like it it’s totally fine. We’re almost at your house too. We’ll be there in few minutes.” You laughed awkwardly. 

God he hated this. Since when did things get weird between you? When did things change? Would things get even weirder and would the distance between you two grow as your relationship with your new boyfriend progressed? 

“Wouldn’t your boyfriend mind?” He hated how he couldn’t ask one question without mumbling like a sad little kid. 

Without even saying a word you quickly pulled over and turned on hazard lights. 

“Channie what the actual fuck?” You tried to sound calm but your voice betrayed you. 

“What? What did I do wrong?” This was weird, he was the one (okay unfairly, yes, but) upset with you, how were you the one scolding him? What did he even do? He didn’t remember upsetting you. Did he forget something? Did he do something and then forget? 

“What did you do wrong? Dude what is up with that question?” You sounded so appalled like he asked the most ridiculous question ever. “What boyfriend?” 

“You broke up?” When did you even manage to do that? Weren’t you all lovey-dovey with someone minutes ago? Did you break up with him via text? No, you wouldn’t do that right? Also why would you break up with him? The dude seemed perfect. 

“There was no one to begin with?” You stared him for a second, you seemed unsure of something. “Is this why you were sulky all evening? You think I’m dating someone?” 

Did he misread the whole situation? He didn’t right? He didn’t just make an absolute fool out of himself right? 

God he did. He wanted to dig a hole to crawl into and never get out. He really felt like crying now. 

“I’m not dating anyone.” You sighed out after few seconds of numbing silence. “God Channie what even made you think that?” 

Chan hadn’t even noticed he started fidgeting with his fingers. He only stopped when you placed your hand on top of his, only then he was able to feel the sting or the small self inflicted  wound. 

Chan took a deep breath. Here went nothing. “You had been smiling at your phone and texting a lot too. You’re always busy too. And when you were on your phone you called someone babe. And the man at the bar too!” Really, how could he not think you were dating someone. 

“I’ve been texting my friends that’s all. We’re planning a birthday party and I guess I’ve been running around a lot for it. Now listen carefully before I smack your beautiful idiot head! I call my friend babe, you have seen me do it millions of times, you even joked about how you could get jealous about it!” You quickly ranted to him, elevating Chan’s worries bit by bit, word by word. 

“What about the Guy at the bar?” Chan didn’t back down. He had to know. He had to know the truth. 

“Why does it matter if I have a boyfriend?” You looked at him with determined eyes. 

“What kind of question is that?”  

“The kind I want answer to. What does it change if I have a boyfriend?” 

Chan felt his face get warmer, how was he supposed to answer that question? 

“Come on, you know it changes everything!” No matter how hard he tried to hold it in, the desperation in his voice clearly showed. 

“What Chan? What does it change?” You raised your voice. Why were you prying like that? 

He couldn’t take it anymore. 

“For fuck’s sake how will it not Change everything? How can everything stay the same when I have been in love with since I remember? How can I just watch you go to another man just like this? You’re everything I have ever wanted and loved. You’re my everything! How can you not see that? Every song I have written is about you, every thought I have is about you, my heart simply beats just for you! How will it not change anything? It will kill me to see you with another man. I would do anything in this world for you but not let you go. I could never let you go!” 

God, he said it. He really said it. He finally admitted just what he felt for you. Well yelled would be more accurate word to describe it. But yeah... He finally admitted his feelings. It was like weight got lifted off his chest but as the seconds passed in absolute deafening silence, maybe it was better to keep it in. 

He couldn’t even look you in the eyes. He was such an idiot. He should have kept it to himself. Why didn’t you say anything? Were you that disgusted? Would you stop being friends with him now? Did he just lose you? 

He couldn’t even fully grasp what happened. One second he heard a clink of a seatbelt opening and next second your lips were on him. The lips he had dreamed of tasting for years were now kissing him. Did he just die and wake up in heaven? 

Your lips were soft as silk and so warm and you kissed him so tenderly almost hesitantly. As if a dam broke inside of him, he quickly opened his seatbelt and brought himself closer to you. There was no way he could hold himself back now that he got to know how you taste. Biting down on your lip gently he could feel your lips part. He immediately deepened the kiss. God he loved it, how you tasted, how you clung onto him, how soft and pillowy your lips were. His whole mind was consumed by you, he was overwhelmed in the best way, all he could feel was your lips caressing each other, your warmth surrounding him, your cold fingers that held his face gently, your sweet scent that was making him go numb. God he could feel how he was slowly getting more and more addicted to you. 

When you leaned back for air he couldn’t help but as he tried to chase your lips but you stopped him giggling. God did you have any idea what you did to him? He was at your feet at your mercy, did you even realize that? 

“Since I have to spell everything out for you today you beautiful dummy, I have been in love with you for years! I just didn’t think you felt the same way. Okay, there were times I did, but like you always backed down! And today seeing how sulky you got over me talking with a coworker who was with his boyfriend by the way, I thought that maybe this was the day I could finally get to the truth. Thankfully You return my feelings because if you didn’t I don’t think I would be able to get over you.” Chan physically couldn’t  let you finish talking a he leaned in and captured your lips in another searing kiss. As much he loved your voice and listening to you talk he had just realized that he loved kissing you more. Also to think that you thought that there was a possibility that he didn’t love you... He just had to stop you. 

“Of course I love you. God I adore you! You’re definition of perfection, live representation of love and beauty for me. I don’t think there’s even a universe where I don’t love you!” 

Hearing you giggle made his heart leap in joy. “God you’re such a sap Channie.” Gently bringing him closer to you by his shoulders you gently pecked him. Chan couldn’t help but mirror your grin as he wrapped his arms around you, basking in your presence, enjoying living this moment with you. 

“You’re one to talk.” He couldn’t help but tease back before leaning in to quickly peck your nose which made your smile widen. 

“We’re a perfect match then.” You mused, clearly satisfied. 

“Yeah, we really are.” Chan smiled to himself and hugged you closer feeling finally at peace. Finally feeling whole. 

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[steddieas-shegoes]

i hate the way i don't hate you

for @steddielovemonth inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You

rated m | 2571 words | cw: implied sexual content | tags: inspired by 10 things i hate about you but it's so short so keep that in mind, enemies to friends to lovers, time skips, getting together, falling in love, modern au

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

“Let me get this straight: you asked him out as part of a bet.”

“Mhm.”

“Because he’s insufferable and everyone in your little misfit group decided it would be funny.”

“Uh huh.”

“And your plan was to stand him up at prom so he would know how it feels to be heartbroken.”

“In a nutshell.”

“And then you fell in love with him.”

Eddie blinks at Robin, who looks like she might kill him with her bare hands. Honestly, he deserves it. He kinda hopes she makes him suffer.

“All signs point to yes,” he says.

She sighs. And then she sits down. And then sighs again.

“This is absolutely bullshit, you know that right?” She finally asks. “Steve’s a good person. He never deserved to be treated like his feelings don’t matter.”

“I know. And I should’ve known that from the beginning.”

“You fucked this up. He’s gonna hate you.”

Eddie knows that’s a good possibility. He hopes Steve is forgiving, but he knows he doesn’t deserve to ask him to be.

“If he does, I deserve it. But I came to you because I couldn’t lie anymore,” Eddie knows his reputation with his friends is on the line. He doesn’t care. “I’m gonna talk to him tonight and let him make his own decision.”

“You’re gonna tell him the day of prom that his prom date is an asshole?” Robin stands up again. “You’re gonna ruin his senior prom.”

“I’m ruining it either way. People are gonna tell him about it at prom if I don’t tell him before,” Eddie argues. “He deserves to hear it from me.”

“He deserves to not be a circus act,” Robin says, but nods. “Make sure you return your tux tomorrow. His card will get charged a penalty if it’s late.”

Eddie doesn’t tell her he already returned the tux. He figures it’s probably not the time.

He knows Steve won’t want to be near him after he tells him about the bet.

****

One month earlier

“You’d never land a guy like that anyway,” Gareth jokes. “Steve Harrington wouldn’t even glance your way let alone date you.”

“He’s so uptight, he’d laugh in your face if you even tried,” Frankie adds.

Eddie watches Steve carry Robin’s books to her locker so she can carry her trumpet case and science project.

“Wanna bet?”

****

Two weeks earlier

“You write music?” Steve asks as Eddie closes his notebook.

“I try,” Eddie smiles at him. “It’s not always good. It’s rarely good.��

“Could I hear some of it?”

“Maybe.” Eddie lights his cigarette, smirking around it as Steve’s cheeks turn a rosy pink. “Do you like metal?”

“I’ve never really listened to it,” Steve admits. “But I’d give it a shot if that’s what you wrote.”

“Come to my band’s show this weekend. I might play an original song as our encore,” Eddie says. “Might even dedicate it to you.”

The blush gets deeper.

****

The night before

“You know I used to wanna be an astronaut?” Steve says as he leans his head onto Eddie’s shoulder. “Still would if I was any good at math. I mean, I get by in class, but I’m in the easiest classes. Probably not astronaut material. Plus, I get seasick.”

Eddie laughs, something he’s done a lot with Steve. Something he never expected to be doing so much, actually.

“You could still work with NASA. Maybe you can’t go to space, but you could help people get there,” Eddie offers. “They’ve got plenty of people working in the office.”

“Yeah, but I think it would be hard to be so close, yet so far, ya know? Like I’m technically no closer to space there than I am right now. If anything, I’d be farther because I’d be stuck in a building, but here I’m with you,” Steve says simply.

Eddie leans his head on top of Steve’s, looking ahead instead of above.

His heart skips a beat when Steve’s hand rests on his knee.

“I’m glad I get to be here with you,” he says quietly.

Eddie swallows around another lie.

****

Present day

“Eddie! What’re you doing here?”

Eddie hates how excited Steve is to see him. It’s gonna make this so much harder.

His chest aches as he gives him a small, fake smile. Steve notices immediately because of course he does. Steve sees Eddie in ways his own friends don’t.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks, and Eddie can hear it already in his tone, the way his body is rearing up for disappointment. Steve’s said it himself before: he’s always prepared for the other shoe to drop because everyone’s got two feet.

“Can we sit?”

“No. You can tell me whatever it is just like this.”

Eddie accepts it because arguing now isn’t going to help anything. Sitting or standing, Steve is going to be pissed at him.

“I can’t go to prom with you.”

Steve is looking at him with wide eyes. “What do you mean? Was something wrong with the tux? It’s not a big deal if you wanna go in jeans. I promise I was kidding about leaving you in a corner.”

Eddie gives an unamused laugh. “No, that’s- no. I lied to you. For over a month now. I only asked you out because my friends didn’t think you’d even talk to me, let alone agree to go to prom with me.”

Steve’s silence hurts almost as much as the tears that are gathering in his eyes.

“I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I ever even bet them that I could get you to go out with me. I’m sorry that sorry isn’t enough.”

Eddie can feel tears in his own eyes, but it’s not fair of him to cry. He caused this. He’s the reason Steve is upset. He shouldn’t get to be upset in front of him.

“Steven! The tux is pressed!” Steve’s mom yells from the front door. “Come inside so I can make sure the tailor got the sleeves right.”

Steve breathes in slowly before turning to his mom and telling her he’ll be in in a minute. He turns back to Eddie and sniffles.

“I guess I’ll see you at school.”

“Steve, I’m sorry. Really.”

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

Steve walks into the house, leaves Eddie in the driveway.

****

Eddie paces his room.

There’s not a lot of space to do that, but he manages to wear a track in the carpet. Wayne will be home any minute asking him why he isn’t at the prom, why he isn’t with Steve.

Eddie will tell him and he’ll give him that same look he did when he told him about turning a kid away from Hellfire Club. It’s disappointment, and Eddie hates it.

The front door opens, Wayne’s footsteps echo to the kitchen while he puts away his ice pack and leftover containers from lunch, he pops open a can of beer, and then walks to Eddie’s room. He knocks on the door.

Eddie starts crying.

Wayne rushes into his room, sets his beer on the bedside table, and gathers Eddie into his arms.

“What’s goin’ on, son? Thought you’d be getting ready for your dance,” Wayne says, but it just makes Eddie cry harder.

Eventually, he calms down enough to explain.

Wayne keeps holding him because Wayne will always hold him, even when he’s disappointed in him.

“Well, he didn’t punch ya in the face,” Wayne finally says. “You apologized?”

“Yeah, but it didn’t matter. I still hurt him and he won’t forgive me.”

“You think you deserve to be forgiven?” He wasn’t asking meanly, just genuinely inquiring.

“I don’t know,” he admits.

If he’d asked earlier, he would’ve given a resounding ‘no.’ But he knows how sorry he is, and even though Steve probably never will forgive him, he does hope he will.

“If you’re really sorry, he’ll forgive ya,” Wayne settles on.

Eddie shakes his head, wipes his eyes and then his nose, frowning at the snot on his fingers. He wipes it on his shirt and falls back on his bed. Wayne laughs at him, pats his chest, and stands to leave.

“You could do something big for him,” Wayne suggests.

“Like what?”

“I dunno, you showed him that song you wrote about him yet?”

“I can’t show him that! Not now!”

“Why not? It’s about as big a declaration of love you can give.”

Eddie hates when Wayne’s right.

****

He gets Robin on board with bribery. A lot of it.

Money is definitely involved, more money than he really should spend, as well as his best weed (“it’s not for me!”) and free rides for the entire summer whenever she wants.

But she agrees to get Steve to The Hideout on Saturday night. She’s not good at lying, but she manages to tell a half-truth and Steve believes her.

Eddie’s a nervous wreck. His bandmates were read the riot act from him and from Wayne. They all apologized to Steve at school, though he didn’t really accept them.

It didn’t give Eddie much hope at all.

He’s doing it anyway.

Robin put in the effort of getting Steve here, so he’s gotta do it.

“You know ‘em and sometimes like ‘em just fine…Corroded Coffin!”

The guys all go on stage ahead of him when the crowd starts cheering. He takes one more deep breath and follows.

Gareth counts them in and they play.

It’s good, maybe one of their liveliest crowds yet. He can’t see many of the faces, but he knows Steve’s there. He saw Robin’s shirt when the lights dimmed between the first song and the second. She wouldn’t stay if Steve left.

Jeff introduces them after the third song like always, but pokes a little fun at Eddie.

“Sorry about our guitarist being a bit moody. He’s feeling deeply emotional about love,” Jeff starts the next song before Eddie can argue.

It’s a great show.

Everyone’s having fun, even Eddie.

But then the guys all sip on water and it’s Eddie’s turn to introduce his song. The song for Steve.

“Hey everyone,” Eddie starts, awkwardly. He’s not usually like this on stage. “Got a new song tonight. I wrote this for someone who I don’t deserve, but who I care about a lot. I know he’s mad and he should be. It may not fix anything, but I hope he knows that I mean every word.”

Gareth’s drums are soft for this one, just there to keep the beat with Frankie on the bass. Jeff moved out of the spotlight, still playing rhythm, but keeping the attention on Eddie while he sings.

He sings about falling for someone unexpected, wanting to create a love story better than Shakespeare. He sings about the boy who wanted to discover the stars, and the boy who wanted to hold his hand while he did. He sang about not knowing that he was capable of this kind of love, and wanting to have it forever.

When the song ends, the crowd claps, but they clearly aren’t here for the romantic ballad he just sang.

He lets Gareth count in for the next song and they go back to the loud, chest-thumping music they usually play.

He doesn’t see Robin anymore, and he decides then that if Steve left, he did everything he could for now. He can’t be more sorry than he is and he can’t force Steve to think more of him.

“Good show guys,” Jeff says as they tear down the stage. All of them are responsible for their own equipment, but they also help out the bar manager by unplugging the electrical and rolling the wires when they’re done. “And a great job on your song, Eddie.”

“Thanks,” Eddie gives him a small smile as he closes his guitar case. “Don’t know if it worked.”

“It did.”

Eddie turns at Steve’s voice, nearly falling over when he sees how good Steve looks. He’s wearing a plain black t-shirt and ripped jeans, something outside of his norm, probably trying to fit in with this crowd a bit. Eddie wants to kiss him.

“Steve.” Eddie isn’t sure who’s talking, but it must be him because Steve’s looking at him with shining eyes and the same smile he always gave him when he looked like he wanted to hold his hand. “You’re here.”

“Robin insisted,” Steve admits, stepping closer to Eddie. “But then I told her to head home so I could talk to you.”

“Oh.”

Steve’s mouth lifts in a smirk for a moment before he schools his features again.

“So you wrote that song for me?”

“Yeah. Is it too much?”

Steve steps closer again, only a few inches separating them now. He shakes his head. “Not too much, no. Maybe just enough.”

“Enough for you to forgive me?”

“I might be on the path of forgiveness.” Steve touches his chest, palm over his heart. “But can I ask you something?”

“Anything. Whatever you want.”

“What were you hoping to happen when you made the bet?”

Eddie has to think about that. Of all the things he’s thought about, this isn’t one of them.

Steve waits for him, though. He’s patient. One of the many amazing things about him.

“I think I just wanted to be right about you,” Eddie finally admits.

Steve nods once. “A lot of people wanna assume things about me because of who my friends were a couple years ago, and who my parents are, and how I always dress nice and act like a bitch. It’s easier to just think I’m a bad person than think I have any depth at all. Especially in high school. Even though most of us are adults now, no one really acts like it.”

“I’m extremely immature. You should probably know that if you’re gonna forgive me,” Eddie says.

“You’re not as immature as you pretend to be at school,” Steve smiles. “I’ve seen you, Ed. I know the bad boy against the grain guy isn’t all you are.”

“And I know there’s a lot more to you than your pretty face, though that’s a bonus.”

Steve kisses him and the guys all cheer for him. He’s laughing against Steve’s mouth, waving one hand at the guys to make them leave.

“Robin said you were crying when you told her,” Steve whispers against his mouth.

“She’s a traitor.”

“So you were?”

Eddie sighs. “Yes, I cried. I hated how much I knew it would hurt you to find out the truth.”

“You still have to make it up to me a little,” Steve says.

“Oh yeah? How?”

“Well, I remember something in the song about worshiping me on your knees? Or was that a weird religious reference?”

Eddie kisses Steve again, smiling so much that their teeth clack against each other almost painfully.

“I’m an atheist,” Eddie replies.

“We’ve got a long night ahead of us then, don’t we?”

Eddie groans. “I still have to help load all our stuff-”

“Dude. You were forgiven by a guy who definitely could find better than you. We can handle the stuff. Consider it more of an apology for us being dicks, too,” Jeff interrupts.

Steve grabs Eddie’s shirt and tugs him along. “I’m not gonna tell them I forgive them until tomorrow.”

“Good idea.” Eddie looks down at the way Steve’s ass fills out the jeans he’s in. “On second thought, maybe next week sometime.”

[00valentina-writes00]

How about sevika with a terminally sick gf. I really loved the one you wrote for vi

♡♥︎Sevika with a terminally ill girlfriend♥︎♡

♥︎ Sevika doesn’t show much, but she’s absolutely destroyed when she finds out. There’s a crack in her usually unflappable armor, a flicker of vulnerability she tries to bury beneath her usual hard edges.

♥︎ She doesn’t talk about it much, but she starts keeping tabs on doctors, researching treatments, and trying to get her hands on any illegal or experimental cures she can afford. She won’t let you give up, even if you’re already resigned.

♥︎ Her usual harshness turns into something colder. She doesn’t waste time with anything unnecessary. If she’s going to help you, it’s going to be in the most effective way possible. No sentimental words, just straight to the point: “I’ll fix this. You’re not dying on me.”

♥︎ When you start getting weaker, she gets more demanding. She pushes you to eat, to stay awake, to fight. She’s relentless because if she doesn’t see you fight, it breaks her apart

♥︎ There are nights when she stays up late, arms crossed, staring out at the dark streets of Zaun, thinking about ways to make you better. Even the shimmer she injects into her system doesn’t offer any comfort when she watches you fade.

♥︎ She spends hours researching obscure treatments, bargaining with shady figures, doing whatever it takes to extend your life, even if it’s just a few more weeks or days. It doesn’t matter how much it costs.

♥︎ At some point, she starts finding herself hovering at your side all the time. She doesn’t want to leave. Not even to sleep. It becomes a strange routine for her, a kind of forced comfort where the silence between you is full of things neither of you are brave enough to say.

♥︎ If you’re awake enough, she’ll push your hair out of your face, but she won’t look you in the eyes. She doesn’t know how to handle the emotions you bring out in her, and it terrifies her.

♥︎ She never asks you how you’re feeling or if you want to talk about it, because she’s afraid you’ll say that you’re giving up. She can’t handle hearing it from your lips, even though she knows deep down you’re right.

♥︎ She starts to get more agitated, snapping at people who are just trying to help because nothing feels like it’s good enough. If anyone says something remotely positive about your situation, she shuts them down hard. She can’t pretend like there’s hope when there’s none.

♥︎ When you can’t leave the bed anymore, Sevika starts bringing everything to you. Food, water, medicine, books to distract you—anything to keep you from slipping further into the darkness.

♥︎ She never shows her tears, but sometimes when she thinks you’re sleeping, she finds herself staring at you, face etched with raw pain, her jaw clenched tight to hold back the wave of emotions that threatens to drown her.

♥︎ Her temper is worse than usual. She’s quick to lash out at others, mostly because she’s so incredibly fucking scared. Scared of losing you. Scared of not being able to save you. And she hates herself for not being able to fix it.

♥︎ She makes herself scarce around people when it gets worse. She’s quieter, more brooding, because the weight of her guilt and helplessness is too heavy to share. The only place she feels even a little bit in control is by your side.

♥︎ On the nights you’re too weak to speak, she holds your hand with a tightness that borders on painful. Her touch is demanding, like she’s afraid you’ll slip away in the blink of an eye.

♥︎ She doesn’t let you see her fear. Every day is a reminder of how much she’s failing you. And every time she sees that spark of hope in your eyes, it drives her mad because she knows she can’t keep it alive forever.

♥︎ As things worsen, she starts avoiding the topic of your death. It feels like a betrayal every time someone mentions it. She ignores the reality, pretending there’s a chance things will magically improve.

♥︎ When you do finally die, it feels like she’s been hit by a freight train. The finality of it leaves her in a state of shock, unable to process it. She doesn’t cry in front of you, not even when she closes your eyes for the last time.

♥︎ Sevika keeps busy after your passing. She throws herself into work, into anything that will distract her from the empty space beside her. She stops sleeping, drinking herself into oblivion, until her body can’t keep up with her broken heart.

♥︎ There are days when the memories hit her in waves. She can still hear your voice in her head, your laugh, the way you’d complain when she pushed too hard. And every time, it feels like a weight she can’t shake.

♥︎ People stop asking her how she’s doing because it’s obvious. She doesn’t need words anymore. The silence speaks for her. She’s the same outwardly—cold, distant—but internally, she’s unraveling, a mess of emotions she doesn’t know how to deal with.

♥︎ She tries to convince herself it’s better this way. You aren’t suffering anymore, and she can’t deny that you were getting worse. But she also knows she’ll never be the same again. That part of her is gone, taken by something she could never control.

♥︎ In the long run, Sevika doesn’t let anyone get close to her again. The wound you left in her will never heal, and she doesn’t think anyone could ever fill the hole you left behind. Not that she’s ready for that anyway

♥︎ But every now and then, when she’s alone, she lets herself think back to you. To the time you spent together, how you made her laugh, how you made her feel alive again. And she lets herself grieve the woman who was once hers.

[peteytheparrot]

i hope this makes you feel better but yeah you're right! vassago wasn't designed for helluva boss. if you go back to the hazbin pilot or just the preview with vaggie talking about the overlords, you can see him roughly in the middle. with a completely unchanged design btw.

and it's honestly upsetting to me, because i wish he had been an overlord if they just really didn't want to redesign him to be more pirate like. (even though the pirate idea does work with vassagos ability to reveal secrets! like x marks the spot for buried treasure! but who would know that at all if the poster of him released before mastermind didn't exist?) he could've been a client for I.M.P. since he used to be human even if it was maybe years or decades ago since he died, or maybe he could've been verosikas manager to highlight the power sinners and those rubbing elbows with royalty have over imps of all kinds. or both!

vassago isn't even a bad guy who does anything wrong; i just hate him on the principal of the time he wasted (and tbh, the money wasted for his VA too when the women have noticably gotten as little lines as possible to manage the limited budget this indie series has,) and how contridictory his existence is to the narrative of no one in the goetia liking stolas when bro is literally hyping him up to sing and is THE ONLY ONE willing to defend stolas but also won't text him to go, "hey bestie this trial is smearing ur name! do something abt it bbgurl" like it's so obvious he's just there for more gay melodrama with big broadway names behind it. that fucking Bird that i Hate

TRUE I like Vassago as an idea but he’s completly and utterly useless to the plot of the show, we also know jack shit about him like why he even gives a shit about Stolas in the first place. Like go away, you’re just making the story more of a mess than it already is pLEASE-

AND OMG HE WAS ORIGINALLY FROM HH??? THEN WHY?? SAY HES A PIRATE IF HES CLEARLY DESIGNED TO NOT BE ONE 😭😭 JUST SAY HES A POP STAR OR SOMETHING IM BEGGING YOU 😭😭😭

Anyway completely agree with everything you’re saying I’m eating it up

(For you people that need more context here’s the original post)

[theallianceofcelestials]

Hi there!

I saw that you are/were friends with the creators of Stellar Remnants and as someone who knows one of them irl and has heard their non-stop yapping about your stuff I took it upon myself to ask what that little rat is too scared to ask!

What would the SEA Family’s reaction be to the relationships developed within Stellar Remnants?

Also, to give some relationship breakdowns that I actually do surprisingly have permission to share from CoastxlWater’s themself:

You don’t see much of the celestials in the main fic, but from my friend’s rambles about the what-ifs and oneshots series the Remnant Family do infact think about the celestials a good bit to where there are technically relationships

Eclipse hates moon basically, but a good chunk of that hate stems from fear and the knowledge of knowing Moon won’t give up. Since as we know, Eclipse was infact once Moon and so he knows how the bot would act.

Solar Flare would infact do the same thing it did to KC to Moon if it ever gets its claws on him, you don’t mess with Flare and especially not its father.

Bloodmoon wants to basically harass everyone in the celestial family. But due to Eclipse’s creative threats and tracker planted in them they haven’t tried anything yet, or atleast that is what Coastxl has told me about the upcoming prompts.

No one in the Remnants family hate Sun so to say, but no one exactly likes him. Eclipse and Bloodmoon with their distrust of the sunny animatronic and Solar Flare carries its own opinions on Sun.

Eclipse still cares about Lunar, and Bloodmoon does as well but neither would say they like Lunar, because they don’t. Surprisingly it’s Flare to have the major problem here, because from what Coastxl has told me Flare doesn’t appreciate the kids actions. Flare apparently has strong opinions on why Lunar was wrong to turn on Eclipse, especially because Moon’s own treatment of Sun. So Flare is the one who mainly dislikes Lunar.

Surprisingly no one in the family have strong opinions on Solar, and apparently one line Coastxl does have planned for a future chapter is, “Solar? I don’t care for Moon’s little lap dog, I mean yeah he helps Moon and all but they are family who usually treat each other right so it’s understandable, though Solar is a pushover. People pleaser, even.” - Eclipse

Same as Solar no one has strong opinions on Earth, they all kind of just ignore the cheerful ‘sister’ and only plan for Moon, Sun, Solar, and Lunar ever finding where they are. Or really Eclipse is the only one planning and worrying, Bloodmoon and Flare are just trying to get Eclipse to stop worrying.

One thing they all have in common though is a hatred for Monty, and yes that does include Bloodmoon. No one really likes Monty.

I think their relationships with KC are shown well enough in the making fic, Coastxl said they might try developing the hatred and fear more through more night terrors and maybe even a few complete group hallucinations, so they do have a deep fear of KC is all I’m saying.

And before you ask, “how do u know u have permission to say this if they don’t know about you having all of their socials and links to the stuff they like?” Well, they said and I quote: “hm? Oh yeah you can spoil it if you want it’s not like it’s some huge surprise or anything- oh your asking this for possible future blackmail huh? Well fuck you I could give less of a fuck about you spoiling this, HAH”

I dunno if we're on friend levels yet, though tbf I don't really do any of these online friendship things often thanks to crippling anxiety 👍

Also they didn't shut up about my stuff? :0 Somehow I'm still surprised people seem to like my stuff, haha

Also, if anyone tries murdering me in my sleep because of this post, I'm throwing you under the bus <3 /silly

Weeeeeeeell, SEA and SR are pretty different relationshipwise, which would be a surprise to the SEA family.

Solar Flare and Eclipse wouldn't be able to imagine a father-son relationship between themselves, though Solar Flare would understand Flare's attachement to Eclipse, because it's also pretty attached to its own. Even if differently.

Killcode would be greatly saddened there's such a shitty version of himself, and he'd be torn between trying to fix their opinion of him and staying away, if only because he knows more now about trauma and those sorts of things. He too wouldn't want to see the people who caged him and his family in, so he can understand why the Remnants family would want to stay away. Doesn't mean he wouldn't be very tempted to change their opinion tho

Bloodmoon would find how Flare is so much younger an amusing difference they'd use to tease their own brothers. It's too good an opportunity to waste. They just have to do it.

Lunar would be freaked by the dislike of that Solar Flare, used to his brother being reliant, protective, quietly loving and most importantly, patient and always there. He wouldn't know what to do with a version of them that's more hostile with him.

Moon would once again be surprised while also not about just how much he sucks. He wouldn't blame the family though, because he knows he's awful. He would feel more comfortable staying away.

Sun would take one look at it and shrug. He can't do anything, it's none of his business, if those people want something they'll approach each other and work out their issues. He's more than aware family can be complicated and there can be lots of resentment and hostility and dislike, especially with everything that's going on. He also wouldn't be offended by someone looking down on him, because he's aware at first glance he really does appear pathetic.

Over all, the SEA family is surprised, sad and disappointed by the state of the Stellar Remnants dimension, but not like they can do much about it. They have to decide to change their relationships if they want to be something different. Although they'd prefer if these people didn't try murdering each other

(Also, SEA Eclipse thinks the four arms are cool and wishes he was built like that too. Everyone else is just glad the sleep-deprieved fuck doesn't have another pair of hands to overwork himself with)

[corvidaerook]

I'm thinking about Rook De Riva and Viago again and just rambling about my thoughts, which might change when it's not 3am:

For my Rook, I think the reason he never met Lucanis, Illario, or Caterina before Veilguard, or even apparently saw them from a distance considering he didn't recognize them at all, was partly because of Viago and Viago's past with the King.

Basically, Viago got forced to choose between being a Crow or being exiled because of his position as a bastard child. He didn't have a choice in it, which in my opinion leads to him having issues with the whole idea of power and who holds it and all that ("The Crows rule Antiva" do you mean the Crows, or do you mean you, Viago?) And that makes me think of two things.

1) Viago hating the idea of the higher-up Talons having too much control over him or pulling rank. What's one way to give them less of an opportunity to let them do that? Keep them from ever really seeing his best Crows. And personally, I think it's implied that Rook is one of his best. The way he talks in the Blighted Treviso scene, where he goes "you always think of something!" and acts like Rook literally just being there could've changed anything alone makes me think he relies on Rook a decent amount. Plus him trusting Jacobus to Rook, "you're a damn fine Crow," etc. So I can totally see him tucking Rook away from the higher-ranked Crows as an "out of sight, out of mind" tactic to keep them from using Rook in any way. (I know Teia and Viago don't pull rank with each other, but I can't remember if they said that was all the Talons or just themselves, and I don't believe that none of them do)

And

2) Viago seems to actually care about Rook. Teia says it, Viago seems to imply it, etc. and in my headcanon, it's definitely true. So, similarly to the first point, I think Viago would be hesitant to let anyone he cares about be in a place where they could be subject to a display of power from someone higher up in the Crows. He had to deal with being banished or given to the Crows by his father, and I just don't think he'd tolerate the idea of a similar treatment towards people he cares about. Teia is relatively safe because she's incredibly capable herself and has Caterina's support, but Rook when they were just starting out? Viago couldn't have been sure that they would win over anyone important enough to give them that sort of immunity. So to me, it feels like the easier method would be to just keep Rook out of the way. If Rook is never really noticed by the higher crows, they could never be deliberately singled out. Not only would that protect Rook, but I think it would also satisfy the paranoid, overly cautious part of Viago that's constantly waiting for another adder in the wardrobe situation.

(also, 3, Imo Viago would love to have a secret ace in the hole trick up his sleeve in the form of a personally trained, very skilled assassin who none of the other big-name Crows have necessarily noticed. Especially if Teia helped train them too, on top of Viago and an Heir. Two, if not three, incredibly talented teachers making a top tier assassin? It'd be his dream come true if they'd just start listening to his fucking orders.)

So, with those two (3ish) reasons, I think Viago purposefully keeping Rook away from the Dellamortes makes a lot of sense. I can absolutely see it where Viago just sent Rook away whenever there was some important meeting or he knew Illario would be around the Diamond or that Lucanis would be at the cafe. He might've even warned Rook that he wanted them to stay away from the Dellamortes because he didn't trust them not to fuck up in front of them, meanwhile he was really calculating about how best to keep Rook from being noticed until they were at a point where he would feel like they were ready.

And then Rook went and pissed off everyone with the Antaam stunt, all at once, and Viago had to send Rook away, making him use his power to make choices for Rook in the exact way that he'd been plotting so carefully to avoid anybody else doing to them.

[nobodysavemysoulitsperfectlyfine]

The seven as perfumes/colognes/vaguely smelling substances except I don't know anything about formulas

Note that these are probably not real things you can put in a perfume this is for fun.

Also I got a lot of this from Reddit.

Percy: Top notes would be some sort of sweet like vanilla bean, Middle notes would include seaspray and tropical fruits, and base notes would probably be a nice honey, cocoa or brown sugar sorta thing. According to my research (scrolling through Pinterest) these are typically scents you find in women's perfume.

And to assume that Percy Jackson gives a fuck about what he smells like as long as it's good. Tsk tsk. Percy probably smells like what you imagine a tropical get a way is, which sucks because he can never get that.

Annabeth: Top notes for Annabeth would definitely be of the citrus sort. Specifically lemon. It's said that her perfume was definitely lemon scented, probably because it repels spiders. The girl drowns herself in it. Also because mm yummy. Middle notes would be whatever book smell is like. Call it leather, call it sandalwood, but gawdamn. Essentially she smells liked a freshly cleaned library filled with pastries.

Lesbians flock to her whenever nearby (I'm talking about the one friend she has that hates Percy for some reason)

Leo: Say what you want, the guys a mix of the NASTIEST smells and absurdly sweet chocolate. I've been in enough car shops, mechanic wearhouses and what not to be able to know that there is NO GOD FEARING SCENTS. There's notes of Grease Oils, Sulfur, and the Giant Fennel, which is a plant said to be sweet, aromantic and spicy. Leo smells different every single day that he's working, and failing to rizz the huzz. (Did I say that right?)

Also, he really likes it if someone close to him smells like a food. ESPECIALLY when he's been working for so long and needs to eat something.

Anyways.

Jason: He probably doesn't care much for Cologne, given that most of the ones he finds are supposed to smell like animalistic and musk, when he prefers the real kind. But let's say that for the sake of fitting into Camp Jupiter or what ever, he's wearing the normal stuff. I want to say linen for some reason. But no. There's notes of Petrichor for right after he used his powers (basically the smell of thunder), Metallic and soft earth smells. Jason smells like air right before a storm hits, where the air is misty, the winds slowly picking up, but nothings gone South. Not yet.

Wear an aphrodisiac around him and this man will FREEZE. Like, legitimately. Jason's the type of guy to be so afraid of making one of his friend's uncomfortable that his first instinct will be to do as little as possible so he won't get carried away. People start to notice that he isn't dishing out hugs or friendly touches often.

Frank: The cleanliest musky smell you can find. I can't describe it. Animal smells, but it doesn't get out of hand. I feel like a part of him gets nervous about everybody thinking he stinks, when it's anything but. They're intrigued, but not grossed out, per se. I think it would be hilarious if Frank's the type of person that everybody surrounds, trying to figure out what he's wearing. Sandalwood, Animals, musk, all wrapped up in a nice, evenly balanced package.

Also tell me he doesn't have a weird thing for Jasmine. I can feel it in my delusional bones.

Hazel: She might be the only person who likes the fancy French stuff and purposely wears it. Incense, bereavement flowers, Jasime because she knows Frank likes it :) Mildew, Chrysanthemums, girly takes care of herself. Hazel smells like a funeral home, except it's filled with loving family members, fresh flowers, sweet foods and precious memories.

Piper: I'm conflicted on whether or not she actually wears this stuff. Nevertheless, there's a lingering scent of every single perfume or cologne her siblings wear. And even if she's been through literal tartarus, there's still a trace of bath and body works on her, or at least some pleasant smell. I can't remember if this happened during the lost trio, but I imagine that while in the most random of places, Jason would comment on it, she would deny it, and Leo would confirm it by straight up sniffing her.

No, you know what? She gets a kick out of solely using novelty products. Think Angry Birds scented shit, Hello Kitty and Garfield, Random candy smells that have no right to exist. Jason is baffled every time.

This took a stupid long time to make just for it to not be accurate of any sort. I apologize. Maybe I'll even do more later.

[bluespiritshonour]

Another day, another “Zuko hates Mai's core personality that is apathy lmao he was straight up lying about liking her being gloomy” I'm so fucking tired.

Saying Mai's core personality is apathy is a fundamental misunderstanding of her character anyways.

But with each passing day I hate the writers of The Beach for having Zuko yell at Mai for it. I might think it's because he wants what's best for her. But I honestly can't bring myself to contradict people who read it as “Zuko's in denial, he's passionate and Mai doesn't match his energy” ugh.

I hate the writers so much for that.

Mai doesn't break up with him for his jealousy. She doesn't even take it seriously. She breaks up with him immediately after the “big blah” comment. The fact that Zuko never comforts her for that specific thing either💀 you can see that she's hurt and confused and he's the last person she expected to tell her that.

I was on the fence about The Beach because it might be maiko at their lowest but it's also the only ep that focuses on Mai and has Zuko focus on her (no matter how oblique). But now I hate it completely.

They'll do anything but have Zuko support or comfort Mai in any way possible.

The moment you pair up a girl with a fan favourite male character you know the takes are gonna be rancid. You should write them well to avoid it but nooooooooooooooooo. If they weren't that invested they shouldn't have made Maiko endgame. At least Mai fans would be at peace rn without all the hate she gets.

I hate how The Beach is the only ep I have to turn to when I want to say that “Zuko pays attention to what Mai has to say” “Zuko wants Mai to not bottle up her feelings” But it's also the ep that gives antis the most ammo.

On a side note: shout-out Castlevania:Nocturne writers for shutting any possible avenues that could lead to Annette hate. I'm sure she still has haters—but their arguments are going to be too stupid to engage with. I wouldn't have to sit here and silently fume at another one of my favourite female characters getting dunked on because the writers fucking allowed it.

[marzipanilla]

RAGE ! heh. yah.

To just veer off bc I have been rewatching this channels stuff lately - Batman stuff ! (x)

On to the rambles.

Yeah it just felt like every single character came out of the woodwork JUST to say 'wink wink nudge nudge we KNEW you two crazy kids would figure it out eventually!' and ?? why ??? why ?? why did you feel the need for their EXES specifically to give them the go ahead, to even shove them towards it even?? I just ?? surely they have other shit to talk about? Not to mention Rex and Eve's we are traumatized teens bonding was way more interesting then their very shitty romance!

I hate the fucking while I was dying I was thinking of you line too. Yes Mark. When you are panicking and freaked out, clearly that is when your mind is most clear. please. dear god. amid the ethics courses you should have been taking, a few ones about psychology and trauma response would also be good, yes?

lol Hannibal. Yeah. I agree. I love Mads' interview where he like Hannibal is the happiest man I have ever portrayed : ) and its like. he's right tho. That man IS having the time of his life and his falling in love, he is having a GREAT time. beautiful show. need to rewatch it soon.

I was talking to someone else and they compared the whole Eve and her parents situation to 'I wont be gay in the house but you can't stop me from being gay outside' and like. ugh. it really is tho. WHY are you still there. WHY are you so determined to make THESE people your family. You know you were (unknowingly adopted) they AREN'T your only option anymore. You aren't 12. You had TT ! (supposedly) You have NEW friends now!! Stop going back to these people!!

The UTTERLY SILENT (I do like the choice but it is also funny that all that happens is literally without a voice) and completely undiscussed by the main 'moral' force of the show maybe villains have REASONS for what they do opening ??? yeah it was great but it also feels so 'lol look at whats going on in the background! no one will ever realize how complex these situations can be!!' anyway here's Oliver being fucking stupid.

Like yeah, I loved the GoG breakdown/breakup in ep 3, as like a we all need to discuss autonomy and accountability and the messed up world we live and people are both right and wrong- but any of the personal-ness to it is ABSENT bc again.. we have rarely seen these people do anything. Stop calling them your family Samson! NONE of you know each other !! Also him calling out Rudy for playing the odds and then acting like he's all fond of him is wild. Amanda being so thrilled this 19 year old girl is marrying her boss is insane. AND Immortal just invited his own ass back, that shit is hilarious. You know that fucker would make anyone asking to come back jump through hoops.

I have played a bit with the idea of danger blind Debbie and it just.. it makes enough sense to me. Her response to terrible shit happening just being like 'well this is annoying : /' while everyone else is freaking out. I feel like Nolan would have been like ??? squishy human not afraid ??? and Debbie's response like ?? you think you're special bc you can kill me?? literally anything could kill me ! Why should I be afraid of you just bc you're fast and strong? A slow person with an air filled needle could get me !! and Nolan just having to be like : / Okay. I guess I see your point.

Look I find the over all narrative and some of the characters fascinating enough that I WANT to engage with and talk about this media, but honestly, I am such a hater and I don't even try not to be xD Invincible is my BUT YOU COULD BE GOOD IF YOU WERE GOOD fandom fr. 'star wars would be great if it wasn't star wars' is a thing I've seen half-jokingly get thrown around and for me its 'Invincible could be good if they weren't adhering it to the comic' lol

TBH I started a 'Cecil basically becomes Mark's parental figure' story that would take place in my Liar Liar/Man Who Played Wolf AU, but I ended up disliking it so I never really went back to salvage it. Maybe I just need to refocus and honestly just make it about Cecil : /

Honestly given a number of the dumb things the GDA gets up to I wonder how good they are at strategizing lol Like.. I really hoped they would leave out the 'we knew Nolan was lying FROM THE START!' thing, bc.. okay... he's a viltrumite. You have only just recently barely found anything that could hurt them... but... like... 20 years on the planet... and not only did you find nothing you didn't WARN anyone ? like ? where's the contingencies ??? Also I will never get over them not giving that astronaut a medical check up, just so he could go puke up more aliens into his sink. Sometimes I also think they deliberately prevent heroes from getting access to education bc the moment one of those fuckers learns how to strategize then you're ACTUALLY fucked, bc they really do make some dumb decisions in battles. constantly.

Yapping bug ! time for the yappings !!

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[carbonatedcartoonist]

Ok first of all I want to make clear-

I LOVED Nimona. It took the simple premise of “everyone hates the outsider” and made it surprisingly complex. Particularly that everyone, even Bal, tries to put labels on Nimona. But she doesn’t fit into any of them and the movie presents this as beautiful.

BUT

I don’t like the ending. Here’s why.

I’m saying this from a white persons perspective so take this with a grain of salt. People that are “othered” are seen as wrong in some way - seen as not living up to the standards of being “normal”. So people in this position have to work their entire lives just to prove that they’re worth existing.

Nimona commits suicide to protect the people. After she dies, then- ONLY THEN - do the people “love” her. Nimona had to give her own life to be respected. Even Bal is happy that she is finally being recognized.

THIS IS NOT A GOOD MESSAGE. The movie should’ve had Bal be ANGRY. He should resent the people of the town. “Oh, so you love her Now??? Well it doesn’t mean anything because she’s DEAD”. It tells people who might be feeling desperate for approval that maybe if they sacrifice their own life, or even do something detrimental to their own well-being, then people will finally see them.

[trixxedheart]

It is amazing how the "people that love and uplift transwomen" website will instantly fucking maul a transwoman if she even remotely insinuate that using radfem rhetoric harms trans people

[mamawasatesttube]

this might be mean but. it really ticks me off when people respond to authors and artists wishing for actual community and engagement with their works by saying "oh but you see im just so anxious i cannot offer you any kind words." with the optional "but do please keep making things for me anyway!" because like...

a) do you understand how anxiety-inducing it can be to pour a little piece of your soul into a work of art and share it publicly? i feel like you don't see the people creating these things as people like you and that is an issue. we are people who just really love a thing and want to talk about it with other people who also love that thing.

but moreover, and this is the part that might be mean, b) damn why doesn't your anxiety prevent you from making excuses to us then? i wish it did! like if you're SO anxious about a fic author blocking you for saying something nice, why are you not anxious about getting blocked for telling that author "okay but i don't want to comment on your works though"??? because i can tell you which of these two things is way more likely to piss me off and it isn't the comment.

like. idk man. if you really don't want to comment on and engage with people's creative works, no one can force you to. but also consider maybe not commenting on and engaging with those people's posts just to explain that you don't want to comment on/engage with their works. if you are so committed to staying quiet and being a passive consumer then commit to the bit and stop asking creative people who put way more of themselves out there than you are to pat you on the back and reassure you that you'll still keep getting free content even if you can't do so much as drop a "this was really good!" in the comments.

[beef-brisket]

Adam stared at Lucifer's house. How the fuck was he going to do this? He couldn't just walk in- but then he couldn't not walk in.

Adam: ...Shit. fuck it.

Throwing his bag on his step, he walks over to Lucifer's door and knocks. He waits for a few seconds, and when he doesn't hear anything he opens the door.

Adam: Lu?! It's just me! You okay?

He doesn't hear anything. Shit.

Walking in, Adam looks around. This place is very... red. And gold. But it screams "Lucifer".

Adam: Lucifer?! Fucks sake...

Walking around, Adam was starting to get worried. He wasn't outside, and he wasn't upstairs. Adam tried not to snoop, but he had to find Lucifer.

Walking off the stairs, Adam looked around again. Maybe he was out? That means Adam just broke in... fuck.

Adam: Great, he's going to kill me.

Walking towards the kitchen, Adam gasped.

He saw Lucifer's foot sticking out of the door, and Adam curses himself for not seeing him.

Falling next to him, Adam quickly checked him for any obvious injuries. Checking his head, he cursed at the blood on his fingers. Pulling out his phone, he put 911 on the speaker.

Adam: Fuck, Lu? Can you hear me?

Tapping his cheek, Lucifer made no noise or movements. Freaking out, Adam quickly checks his pulse.

Adam: Oh, thank god, you're alive.

He hated touching Lucifer without his permission, but he quickly started cpr when the 911 operator told him to.

He'd rather Lucifer hate him forever and be alive than him being dead.

Adam: Come on, Lu. You've got this.

The only time Adam left him was to open the door for the ambulance people. He stayed close as they worked on Lucifer, and thankfully, he showed sighed of waking up, but he wasn't out of the woods yet.

Grabbing Lucifer's phone, he managed to get the guys fingerprint, and got Charlie's number.

Charlie: Hello? Who's this?

Adam: Hey, Charlie. It's Adam.

Charlie: Oh! Hey Adam, what's up?

Adam: Uh- your dads had a fall or something... can you meet me at the hospital?

Charlie: Fall?! Is he okay?

Adam: He's okay, Char, I promise.

Charlie: Okay- okay, uh... can you go with him?

Adam: Yeah, of course! I'll text you his room number if you're not there before they see him.

Charlie: Thanks so much, Adam.

-

Sitting in the ambulance, Lucifer opened his eyes a few times, but he didn't give any indication that he knew what was happening.

Adam's trying to stay calm, but he's definitely worried. Why the fuck didn't he check on him this morning? He's been there for over a day.

The whole way to the hospital, Adam held Lucifer's hand.

-

Sitting at Lucifer's bed, Adam felt his phone buzz. Looking down, he saw a text from Charlie.

Char: Hey, Ad. I'm here.

Adam: Cool, Charlie. I'll come get you.

He needed a fucking walk.

Petting Lucifer's hand, he told him he won't be long, and left the room.

Trapped Heart

@beef-brisket

⚠️This deals with Agoraphobia, anxiety, depression, and mentions of domestic abuse ⚠️

-

Adam: Well that's the last of them.

He looked around his new home and smiled, this place was so much better than his last home and a third of the price too.

They were practically giving it away.

There was his lawn mower that was on the truck still.

Adam went out to put it in the garage when he noticed his neighbor, a short blonde man getting his mail from his box. He was better looking than his last neighbor.

Adam waved: Hey!

Lucifer jumped as he grasped his mail, he looked over and saw a handsome brunette standing in the driveway across the road smiling and waving.

Lucifer: O-Oh, hi!

Adam: Names Adam, I just moved in.

Lucifer: N-nice to meet you! I'm Lucifer, I hope you like it here.

He wanted to be polite and welcome his new neighbor right, but he could already feel the cold tendrils of anxiety start to slowly crawl through his skin trying to wrap around him like a vice grip.

How long has he been outside? His heart started to beat a little hard with each moment he's not back in his home. He could die! He's not safe he needs to get back!

Adam: Yeah me too.

By the looks of it he already likes what he sees.

Lucifer nodded, he could feel the tremors starting in his hands the palms getting sweaty.

He needs to go.

Lucifer: I-It was nice to meet you Adam! B-But I need to get going.

Adam: Oh okay, maybe we can hang out sometime?

Lucifer gave a tight smile: Y-yeah.

He waved again to be polite and tried not to run back to his house, his therapist said it was good for him to be out as long as he could stand it.

Pushing himself a little each day. Today him reached his limit.

Once his front door was closed and locked behind relief washed over him, he's safe now nothing can hurt him. He hugged his mail to his chest, he needed to sit down.

Lucifer went over and placed everything on the coffee table. He tried to remember his breathing exercises.

Adam seemed very nice, maybe he'll send Charlie over when she comes to give him a proper greeting.

-

Adam tilted his head as he watched his new neighbor go into his home, if he didn't know any better he would say the man was panicked. Did he do something? He knows his personality can be a little brash at times but he thought he was being polite.

A man that lived beside him came out for his mail as well.

Adam: Hi! Umm, I'm new here.

Alastor: Oh hello! I'm Alastor, I guess that makes us neighbors.

Adam chuckled: Guess so. Umm, if I may ask, is the man that lives there okay? I didn't intend to upset him.

Alastor looked over at Lucifer's home and rolled his eyes.

Alastor: Getting the mail was he? Don't worry about it that man's afraid of his own shadow. I wouldn't waste my time, he never leaves his house.

Well that sounded a little dramatic.

Adam: What?

Alastor leaned on the fence: Oh yeah, Mr. Morgenstern over there never leaves his house. Rumor has it that his wife used to beat the fuck out of him in the home but it was worse when they were in public. Apparently she'd just humiliate him and others would join in making things worse. He was never free of her but at least in the home he could be alone.

Adam was horrified to hear that: Dude, the fuck, is that true?

Alastor shrugged: Not sure. All I know that is true is she left him nearly 8 years ago and he's become some kind of hermit that never leaves the damn house. His daughter Charlie, sweet girl you'll likely meet her, comes over from time to time.

Adam looked over at Lucifer's house, that couldn't all be true right? Maybe some was and the rest is telephone gossip extras?

Him and Alastor parted ways, he had to put everything away in his house. All the while his mind kept going back to the handsome neighbor across the way.

[nickbutnodick]

i watched mufasa today and was writhing in agony the whole time. partially because it was ugly. partially because the plot sucked. and not as much because i had horrifying period cramps.

[walking-loather]

Women. We need to stop wearing makeup. We need to stop doing excessive skincare routines. We need to stop getting cosmetic surgery.

We NEED to stop obsessing over every aspect of our appearances and we NEED to start accepting what our natural faces look like.

We need to divorce ourselves from the idea that beauty is morality. We need to stop caring about if we're ugly or not or treating it like its the end of the world.

Your face is your face!!! It looks the way it does, and you need to stop hating it. Who fucking cares if you have acne or dark circles or fine lines or wrinkles or sunspots or scars. WHO GIVES A GODDAMN SHIT. it is your face, and no matter what you do you will never get another one. You will have it for the rest of your life so you may as well learn to fucking live with it.

Learn to accept yourself the way you are. WHY should it matter if you are beautiful or ugly. YOU ARE A PERSON. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOUR AESTHETICS. We are never going to get equality for women, like, each of us being able to walk out of the fucking door without giving a single shit -- just like men do -- and be treated like human beings, if we keep desperately trying to homogenise our features into what is deemed "acceptable" and valourising beauty.

Your natural face isn't beautiful or ugly. Its your fucking face. This isnt about "embracing being ugly" its saying WHY THE FUCK SHOULD HOW I LOOK EVEN MATTER. WHY THE FUCK DOES IT NEED TO BE JUDGED. WHY ARE WE ASSIGNING WORTH TO APPEARANCES IN THE FIRST PLACE

WE ARE NEVER GETTING OUT OF PATRIARCHY IF WE KEEP FUCKING PARTICIPATING IN IT

[ratatatastic]

"Battle of Alberta, right? It was my first game: Calgary, Edmonton. We would play them in the preseason, and you know—trying to make the team I'd always be asking him to fight in preseason, always. I'd be runnin' my mouth—like, tryna fight the biggest, baddest guys, tryna make an impression.

And he would never fight me. He'd always tell me, like If you make the team, I'll fight ya. You don't have to worry about that, but I'm not fightin' ya preseason. And I totally respect it, I'm not gonna chase him down. It is what it is. He's established—I'm looking for my chance.

So I get called up, we're playing Edmonton in Edmonton: Battle of Alberta. [He's] over there on the other side, and it's like the coolest thing ever... you know, the buildup was crazy 'cuz I knew if the opportunity presented itself—if the game went the way I hoped it would, I would get an opportunity to fight him.

I remembered in warmups tryna skate by the redline initially just kind-of gettin' a feel for it—to see if I have to say something or whatever... He's got no bucket on, his big, bald head is glarin' around, he skates by the redline with the biggest smile on his face, and just gives me the biggest wink...

At that moment I knew Okay, he remembers. It's gonna happen at some point.

We were up 1, I think it was 2-1 going into intermission or whatever—Oh, no, I think it was 1-1 and we had just scored so the position I'm like Yeah, I don't know if I can fight him now because we have the momentum and we're winning the game. I don't want to lose a fight, then we lose a game and now I'm, like, never getting a chance again.

You kind-of gotta play the game within the game like [...] there's an opportunity to fight, and there's an opportunities where you shouldn't fight. Things weren't looking good, then they score and now we need a spark. I'm like Fucking perfect.

I just skate by their bench and I'm like It's time, big boy! He jumps out, we line up, and he goes We squarin' up or we goin' right away?

I'm like I'm not fuckin' squarin' up with you right now! We're goin' right away!

Drop em, we go right away, grab each other. I know he's a lefty so he's gonna let go—let's go of my right arm before he throws one. I threw one. Big boy went down, he jumped back up pretty quick. I don't know, I tell people all the time, I'm like I would've been in the league fuckin' 2 years earlier if there was good footage of this fuckin' fight!

For some reason—For some reason, the cameras cut out. I don't know if [he] had his cousins working the cameras or something that night, or if they're in the video room or what happened.

That was my first NHL game.

It's funny 'cuz Chucky was there—Chucky's there and he knows, he saw, he always laugh when I say that I would've been in the league earlier 'cuz he knows how things like that go. You get a little bit of energy and buzz around ya, and then kind-of momentum takes you a little bit further but unfortunate[ly], I missed that opportunity but I don't regret a thing.

[...]

The opportunity was there, I just—unfortunately, for whatever reason, the Hockey Gods said not yet." (Ryan Lomberg reminiscing over his first NHL game/fight) (x)(x) (please go watch the second link to see lombos giant smile as he tells this story jfc)

and other genuinely bonkers things to say about a hockey player in your first fight... like why did this need to be said like that...what