#do not fight me on this i'm right
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Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.
They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Lifeâ˘, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.
So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.
#We will fight them on the shores in the trenches etc etc etc#I know it's been said before but the people who said it were right to beat back fash for whatever else they weren't right about#Fuck these fucking little bastards who want to rule our fucking lives and destroy our communities#They've got too much power as is and right now is our moment to crush them and take it back#If you're not into Harris fine work to kick the GOP off your city council they're shitty little gremlins there too I guarantee it#(Hell if you're in LA there's two good chances to swap a shitty Dem for a good dem on the council)#But it's time to fucking break their necks and if we do it here the worldwide movement of these fuckers is gonna follow#Not because we're particularly special but because our fascists are pretty large exporters of the stuff#A loss for them is going to shred their party this unholy alliance is already fraying between the fundamentalists and the tech ghouls#Let's magnify that shit for them by making them eat it.#Don't mind me I'm just sick of these fucking ghouls and ready to make them suffer for what they've tried to do#All implied violence in this post is metaphorical ;)
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Can't believe Nickelodeon ate with a decent reboot AND a new sexyman on top of that
#Anxiety's been going hard but at least the energy I find myself gathering is going to the right places <333#Anyway aged up tumblr sexyman Poof was on the 2024 bingo card chat..#digital art#fanart#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fairly oddparents fanart#fop peri#Art Fight is dead to me all efforts doing to FOP fanart now#I'm still a slow tho SHAKING MYSELF TO HURRY THE HELL UP#Two weeks fixation on him and only 2 and a half doodles wagh
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Checking up on his commission
#hate this guy. spoilers under tag cutoff#i fear i may have cooked with the tags. slash jay.#I've always imagined him with Particulars but I keep forgetting to draw them til like now#he speaks in lowercase to me. for reasons#I wanna know more about this untrustworthy bisexual but I also kinda wanna attack him every time he shows up#cant wait for the inevitable boss fight#fun fact: according to the dictionary 'nebulae' can refer to a clouded spot on the cornea that can cause defective vision#a limbus is 'the junction of the cornea and sclera in the eye'#so I think I speak for us all when I say WHAT THE FUCK MAN#what the hell was he on abt with Dante falling from the sky. and by sheep does he mean June 985 or?#if anyone wants to theorise on my post I'm all for it#limbus company#dante lcb#demian lcb#â°đ#unfortunately proud of that caption btw he really is just wanting his comm#HM WAIT BACK AGAIN#is the way the San was on about with leading the fallen nebulae home what causes J985?#as in - it is not people dying but them returning to their rightful place outside the City#with Purgatorio being the war đ[i think] mentioned#is the doomsday Dante's head leading to the war? it typically refers to humanity's self destruction#or any globlal catastrophe#oh ok with PM is being sneaky again the Wiki page says it was inaugurated in June and guess when the MDE is#but generally things like nuclear war - AI and climate change are the main factors contributing to it#and we've already faced AI in the prev games via Angie so presumably one of the others will be the main force behind Dante's midnight#i personally like the nuclear angle given how Dante's head is already a clock#*BOMB. THEIR HEAD IS A BOMB THAT CAN BLOW UP#please do not write tags at night this was a bad idea
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isn't it weird how if you get up at 7 or 8, do your work all day, then have free time and go to bed at 11 that's absolutely fine
but if i said i get up at 10, do fun stuff in the morning then work in the evening and go to bed late, i could be called lazy, nevermind that i'm getting just as much or MORE work done as i would in a traditional work day
#ramble#idk if this is a me problem or not#i've tried to do the early rise early bed thing again and again and it just does not work for me doing freelance right now#maybe it's bc i used to work at a bar so i'm more comfortable being active in the evening#i love working at night because there's less going on to distract me#what used to happen is i would get up early then fight executive dysfunction all day saying i couldn't do fun stuff until i did my work#then my will to work would hit at 10pm and i'd be up till 2am anyway#right now my routine is waking up later and playing a game or knitting for an hour or so and then working in the afternoon and evening#something something capitalism and 9-5 and adhd don't go together#this sounds like i'm just making excuses but it works and i'm actually getting shit done and sleeping enough so i don't see the problem#i just figured i'm probably going to sit and do nothing for a few hours in the morning anyway so i might as well give myself permission to
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another attack! this one for crabsbeverage.
#my art#art fight#artfight#artfight 2024#anthro#furry#i loooove this artist their stuff is really so unique and makes me kinda queasy and unsettled to look at sometimes#very unreal and oddly atmospheric#anyway i'm once again humbled by the attacks i've gotten - really so grateful. i could get emotional#i wish i could revenge everyone i wish i had all the time in the world to draw ocs. my one calling in life#i'm having a little break right now. gonna play some animal crossing and maybe do some more attacks an hour or so before bed
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 1: Make It Sapphic AU
#once again we are ignoring the fact that it is not technically still day 1 where I live#look i am only like 30 minutes off so it's fine.#it's still day 1 in 3/4 of the US so we're fine#anyways here's sapphic Holloween because we all deserve a little bit of that in our lives#Inspired by the incredibly talented Snarky-wallflower#if you are reading this you simply must go check her out#she's an amazing author and a rad person so there are no downsides in lookin her up#but yeah that's crazy i finished two drawings in one day whoa#like i said i've got events back to back to back to back right now#so i've got another drawing to work on for tomorrow#but i'm not doing every day for this one#i've got art fight to prepare for as well#and work stuff to work on#fun fact: the most abundant mineral in the earth's mantle is Olivine#which is this beautiful green color#and even though it is so common#i do not have it in my collection smh#gotta get me some of that#did you know that i love rocks and minerals#i think i will start doing more rock facts because i've got plenty of those#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#holloweane#holloduke#miss holloway#duke keane#butch!duke keane#hatchetfield#nightmare time#nightmare time 2#kim whalen
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So I haven't had the opportunity to watch Deadpool 3 and won't have it for quite a bit however going by what I hear about the movie from the people of Tumblr
I can't help but think of this one time me and my mom were watching the hedgehogs that like to come to our yard to steal cat food
And my mom said "hey, come look two of them are fighting... Hmmm. they're fighting kind of oddly". to which I just looked at her and said "mum, I don't think they're fighting... I think they're fucking" they were not in fact fighting
Anyway that's the vibe I'm getting from the way you're describing the new Deadpool and Wolverine movie did I get it right??
#if anyone's curious for some reason the way hedgehogs actually fight as they try to flip each other#I have seen a hedgehog just ram into the belly of another hedgehog with a running start it's ridiculous#as for the two hedgehogs mentioned in the post I'm pretty sure they wandered off sooo we can't know for sure but like...#what else were they doing because they definitely weren't fighting#deadpool x wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool#wolverine#me talking#anecdote?#credit to my mum on this one#i think. I'm sorry :( but not really.#ao3#poolverine#?#deadclaws#did I get it right?? answer me!!! lol
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We lived.
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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#FELT THAT GOOD GOOD VINDICATION HOARDING SCROLLS THE ENTIRE TIME FOR ONE (1) TO FINALLY COME IN HANDY HAHAHAHAHAHFHGD#This fight was absolutely bananas - I was so close to restarting it when everything looked bleak but I didn't and I'm so glad#because it made for a very dramatic story lol#Rambling incoming:#I split the party really bad bc I wasn't super clear on the AOE lightning attack so when the second one rolled around Gale was the only-#-one able to take cover in the building...but I don't think it even worked??#Lae'zel was down long before then but Wyll and Croissant were in death saves#Used all of Gale's movement AND misty step to get to Croissant but he still couldn't get close enough & had to throw a potion#I think I used a potion of speed then so Croissant could cast globe of invuln right away#(and it took 10min of looking through my inventory to even see I had something to do bc otherwise we would've died right there don't @ me)#But then we were STILL too far away from Ansur for 60' spells so I had to keep running them out of the globe - using a spell - and then-#-mISTY STEPPING BACK INTO IT BC WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MOVEMENT SPEED#it was rough but we made it#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#ansur quest#croissant adventures#tav#ansur#gale#gale dekarios#breadweave#gale x tav#YEAH WE'RE PUTTING IT IN THAT TAG#comics
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robbie is corrupting everyone's fashion sense but has no idea...
dipper and pacifica see each other for the first time since summer ended (in my au)
#dipper pines#pacifica northwest#gravity falls#dipcifica#gravity falls au#breaking the chain au#headcanon that robbie and pacifica would be besties#yes dipper has a pin of a compass pointing northwest but it's JUST A COMPASS it has nothing to do with pacifica or anything#and pacifica has a pine tree pin bc of oregon obviously why else would she have that#pacifica starts working at the shack and you can fight me on that#pacifica has a pin of robbie's heart bc it's his band logo and she helped him produce his first 'album'#i was gonna give dipper a trans pin but i'm a cowardđ#still a trans dipper truther tho#also it didn't look right the way i was trying to style it so that's the main reason#bill cipher#the book of bill
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Colored some junky morning warmup comics eehehe... This is Superhero Taisen to me.
The Sentai is here to deal with physically large threats and contribute nothing else.
#i just dont know what to tag this one aaaha!#i know like three things about MH and KR total but i do enjoy the toei teamups....#without fail... the sentai are here to fuck around while the other heroes use their brains#except for the gobusters... staunch professionals...#good job busters. this is why we love you.#Haruto Wizard being like 'hey so now that you know i'm friendly you don't have to fight me right?'#and King Kyoryu taking a swing anyway just for fun...#that'll never not be funny to me...#I think Fourze had fun in his though....#That Fourze guy could be in a sentai...#Give that man a big robot
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hii!! I just read cold spots and it was AMAZING!!! Im not sure if you wanted to continue the fic, but if you donât mind could you continue with Veres part? I donât know what you would write about but I just feel like that fic has so much potential to be a little 3 part series or something đ
<- Cold Spots TYSM ANON!! I put the Vere End at the beginning for ease of reading. For the sake of folks who would like to read this as a stand-alone... I think u can? With the knowledge that the premise of Cold Spots is that Mhin and MC/Sparrow went ghost hunting. Vere is said to have been responsible for a handful of local ghost stories, soâŚof course he makes some mischief.đŚ Also MC needs some Winter wear, stat. A very light Possessive Vere warning in this btw, though perhaps in a roundabout way. Plausible deniability is so important to him.
You putter around in your room at the Wet Wick as you go about your nightly routine. The occasional cheer or thud from below only accentuates your nervous energy, punctuating your reluctance to settle down and get into bed. You smooth the covers with your bandaged hands and fluff the pillow before extinguishing the lamplight. You tug the bedding up above your shoulders, fighting to get comfortable. As your eyelids finally start to droop, the flicker of a shadow catches your attention.  It dances and sways and bends and grows until suddenly it is right in front of you. On top of you. Silken, blood red drips down onto your face, a knife gleam smile too close for comfort. You breathe in a gasp, wondering if you should scream. âVere, whatââ âShhh,â he coos, pressing a finger lightly to your lips. His breath is hot against your skin. âI only came to keep you warm, pet.â
Heat Signature
âPoor thing.â Vere purrs. âYour lips are so cold.â He leans ever closer, his mouth hot over yoursâhovering. His other hand reaches for your face as well, nails trailing against your cheek in a teasing caress.
You feel even the thought of being cold leave your body, replaced instead by the unusual thrill he commands, that strange enthralling sway.
That heat youâve come to associate with Vere; sweet tendrils of want that nestle in your bloodstream.
You squirm a little, though you canât move much with him looming over you.
(You should probably do more to protest his intrusion into your room, you think to yourself, though, the majority of you isâcurious, daresay even far too eager toâ)
âWhatever trouble did you get up to that left you in such a state?â
At this you scoff, tilting your head back into the pillow and effectively knocking Vereâs finger from your lips. Â
âAs if you donât know,â you accuse.
Vere looks entirely unperturbed by you shaking him off, his lithe fingers traveling freely along the newly displayed skin of your throat, making your pulse jump.
Vere chuckles at that, dark and silky.
âBeing tight lipped about your adventures, hm?â He angles your face just so, ensuring you meet his sharp eyes, his nose brushing up against yours. âNot that it matters. It so happens I do know what youâve been up to. Trespassing in places that donât belong to you.â
â...It was an abandoned building. I donât think it really belonged to anyone.â
âAnd thatâs where youâd be wrong,â Vere says, âeverything in this city belongs to someone, darling. You just donât know what belongs to who yet.â He peers down at you with laughter in his expression, though there's a distinct edge to it that you can't quite place.
âSo, you're here because that building belongs to you...?â
âHmm, amongst other things. However shall I make you apologize to me for this most egregious offense?â He asks airily, shifting until heâs beside you rather than perched over you, resting his cheek in his hand and letting his eyes slip closed. He's the absolute picture of unbothered leisure. Â
(Youâre not fooledâheâs simply waiting for you to let your guard down before he pounces.)
You open your mouth to deny any debts on your part (though, if your ghost hunting spot was indeed Vereâs hideout, you really do feel guilty) but Vere cuts you off before you can speak.
âAlas, I suppose itâs not mine anymore. Within a week it will reek of wet dogs and cheap booze. It's a lost cause now that those drooling reprobates know it's inhabitable. A pity. By Eridia's standards it really was divine in its heyday. Good wine, music, dancing. There was this portrait artist who would paint the performancesâŚâ
His tone remains light as he reminisces. But the look he pins you with is dangerous: his eyes gleaming bright, his canines bared in an irreverent grin.
âI had such hopes and dreams of reviving the place myself. Some of the dances were very scandalous. You never did share with me your stance on dancing, did you?â
You stumble out an approximate answer. ItâsâŚharmless information to give, isnât it?
Though, judging by how pleased Vere looks, you wonder if you should have refused to say. He looks positively wicked as he ponders your answer aloud. âOh, Iâm sure youâve got plenty of talents to share. In another life, perhaps I'd have put you on stage. Though, I admit. I find myself partial to a private show.â
Andâas expectedâthe moment you let your guard down, he's in your space again, crowding you. Heat and proximity and the softest brush of his lips against yours, light enough to send a thrill down your spine, curiosity and a want so deep it surprises you.
âWell?â He purrs. âCare to audition?â
You can't hide behind the excuse of supernatural sway or charm or the thrall of hypnotic sunglo eyes. It's not Vere's power that controls you. It's your own gnawing desire; starvation and longing that draws you to him despite all sense.
Kissing Vere is heady. Dizzying. Â
Kissing Vere is like being in conversation with Vereâa constant of giving and taking, being chased after and running to keep up. Itâs enticing and alluring and decadent and never quite enough, over too soon even as you feel yourself losing air, the rush of blood and sensation threatening to overwhelm you.
He gives a parting nip to your bottom lip as he pulls away.
Then another one, playful, to your jaw.
When he presses his face into the side of your neck, you expect him to bite again.
What you donât expect is for him to nuzzle into you, inhaling deeply before heaving a great sigh, his tail flopping lazily to land across you with a thump.
Heâs officious as he rearranges the covers, ensuring your arms are tucked carefully away from him before heâs willing to fully settle into the bedding, pulling the blankets up around the both of you like a den. He hums something low in his chest as he tucks himself up alongside you, long tail curled around your waist.Â
Itâs rhythmicâ
purring.
And itâsâŚsoothing, actually.
The weight of him, the warmth. The incessant lamplight of the Amaryllis District, shining ever present through your window, is dimâtolerable, even, courtesy of Vere's magnificent shadow manipulations and the blankets sheltering you.Â
The constant noise seems to fade away as well, obscured by the sound of purring. âFalling asleep when you have me in your bed, pet? You really do try your luckâŚâ
#Foxes purr btw!#i await more purring Vere fics I hold out my sickly little claws for them (a prompt from me for other fic writers)#You and I get to know that Vere was touching on Sparrowâs face sm bc he caught a peek at Mhin doing it in Cold Spots#and he got territorial#I decided that the narrative pointing it out was laying it on too heavy. but you and i know.#Hopefully this fits the bill ok of what u described anon! A liiittle spice but mostly wholesome??#iâm ngl I was going for more spice but ...Deicide!Flavored Vere... he took all of it#AAA SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG THO ANON AAAAuuughghhh#also ur so right anon u gotta have a sequel (since I was talking about horror tropes lol)#the thought of Vere & Mhin being down bad for the same person is sooo funny to me btw. i think of it often.#vere x reader#touchstarved x reader#toxintouch writing#touchstarved game fanfic#no pillow fight i'm osrry#this fic. fought me. this fic stole my wallet in the denny's parking lot#toxintouch: {pick} prompt {your poison}#wtf tumblr why did u do this to my image i thought i got my dimensions right the file can't be that big...#i have 2 ways of choosing titles btw on the nose and âyou'll have to google this/have me explainâ
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how âability usersâ (opposite to ânormal peopleâ) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ă
´ Ë )âĄ#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga isâ#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes ofâ#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and herâ#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I meanâ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joyâ#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the âproving my strength againstâ#myselfâ narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity thatâ#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw andâ#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (âĽďšâĽ) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Alsoâââââ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily onâ#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the beliefâ#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we reallyâ#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"
#ramble#sorry i am not having a good art day today#i'm TRYING i promise#this is 100% a me problem and i hate it#i think it's because when i have a Problem with my art. i need to fix it INSTANTLY#and that's not how art improvement works#idk why it gets to me so much i can't explain it#even if it's polite and means well it makes me feel weird and i don't know why#maybe because i thought i was way better about it than i used to be but right now i'm getting it way more#yes i know posting art means you have to take people's opinions#but how do i say 'please do not leave lengthy critique under my art that i make for fun when i didn't ask for it' w/o sounding like an ass#i just feel like. i would never go to a fic and point out all the writing mistakes in the comments if the author didn't ask for it. idk#i'm fighting really hard not to yell 'IT'S MY ART STYLE' bc that's not an excuse obvs
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i think fandom spaces would become much more enjoyable across the board if people stopped flipping their pancakes over other fans enjoying characters that they don't like. or, god forbid, like them but in 'the wrong way.'
#salty peak sect ��#jin guangyao#jgy haters you do realize that you are as integral a part of this wheel of dead horse reincarnation as jgy stans are. right?#you realize that our liking jgy and believing he did good things does not in any way detract from your ability to enjoy wei wuxian#as your specialist good boy. right?#you realize you could just scroll past takes about people enjoying jgy without deciding to drop your own pass-agg vaguepost#questioning our morality in the tags. right?#you get that it's weird to act like we're the weird ones for responding to provocation. you have to get that that is a weird way to think.#consider instead: staying in your lane!! minding your business!!!#you can in fact just leave us alone! you can do that! the power is yours!!#nb: this is not directed at the people who have genuine questions/commentary about jgy that are critical in nature. that's fine.#please recognize i am not talking about you!#i scroll past so many of your posts even tho i disagree with them#because your stuff is not the stuff that is making me benafflecksmoking.jpeg#maybe sometimes i'll comment if i think i have something useful to add#and if i think OP is not going to be a dick#most of the time i frankly would rather get high and read xiyao fanfic#that is usually why i am in the tags: to read fic and look at cute fanart#i am not visiting the tags because i want to pick a fight! truly i'm not!#however. if you start one. i will probably finish it. đ hth
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And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am...
#moral orel#orel puppington#adult orel puppington#moral orel fanart#my art#guys it's Iris by the goo goo dolls đ¤đ¤ this song has beautiful lyrics literally each part#You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever beAnd I don't wanna go home right now#I'd put the entire song jajajajakjdkenen#Heavily inspired by Marnie's art of Orel with Where Is My Mind lyrics đđ#also this heavily inspired by some MCR art I saw...#bro thinks he's in Fight Club âźď¸âźď¸#he's so me I'm so him#I need to be punched until I bleed <3#Maybe I need to shut up#if I do a lot of lyric art with Orel this was the beginning of an era đđ#aughghghhh debo pasar otro dĂa deseame suerte...#too lazy to fix any mistakes in my tags đ˘
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.
#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
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