#do not be fooled he has lots of childhood trauma

[moonjunio]

Everyone talks about the Quarrel in Golden Fool, but why not the part before it? Why no fan art of our RSD king Fitzchivalry talking to himself in the dusty spy corridor, convincing himself he’ll “always be alone” because he just found out about the existence of Amber. This is also soon after losing Nighteyes so it hits extra hard.

From what I understand, RSD isn’t necessarily based in childhood trauma, but it sure as hell can’t help, right…

Some clips from additudemag.com, which talks about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in the context of ADHD, since they’re often seen together I guess?

So, although “the Quarrel” is definitely framed in part by how Fitz doesn’t like how their relationship is perceived by others, what he’s much more deeply bothered by is the possibility that he has misunderstood their relationship the whole time.

Fitz overheard that The Fool has a side he didn’t know about, and anticipates the loss of one of the dearest people in his life, one of the few people who knows him completely. If that’s not a two way street, then was anything they shared actually real?

Yes, Fitz overreacts and deeply wounds the Fool with words he almost instantly regrets. But Fitz’s hurt, although seemingly misguided, is very real and valid too. He tries to communicate about it and assumes that the Fool’s explanation is confirming his deep fear - that their whole relationship has always been, on some level, fake.

Even though the Fool talks about how deeply he loves Fitz, the takeaway for our boy is still abandonment. He’s lost so many relationships that meant the world to him.

The few ones who still know who he is and say they care - are they really just using him?

Apparently I’ve run out of space for more photos and quotes, but I can do a part 2 to expand, if this resonates with people.

[Update: part 2 here!]

My husband definitely has RSD, something he’s beginning to understand about himself, and it explains a lot of our fights to be honest! Fitzy completely fits the profile in my opinion.

[ETA: the illustrations by the stunning Magali Villeneuve are from the Illustrated Edition of the first trilogy, the ISBN for Assassin’s Apprentice is 978-1-9848-1785-3 if you can still find it! Best edition IMHO]

[au-you-mean-ow-right]

Warning! There's gonna be Metaphor Spoilers for all the way to the endgame in this one!

You know, I think Louis could have turned out a lot different if he had just been childhood friends with the Prince.

Like, hear me out, it certainly wouldn't have erased any of the trauma he suffered, that certainly wasn't ever going to happen. But having at least one thing in his life that the flames didn't take away from him probably would have done a lot for the man.

I can see this going two ways:

Louis gets taken in by the palace when More comes to retrieve Will. That would probably change the trajectory of the whole story pretty majorly. I could see Louis either still going down the path of rising through the ranks in the army, or possibly becoming a knight so he can stick closer to Will's side. Again, the Prince is the one thing the flames didn't take from him, and by whatever god is out there, he's not going to let anything else do it now. That would probably result in him possibly still being a target that Forden very much wants out of the way along with the Prince, especially since in this situation Louis would have no reason to masquerade as a clemar. He's out there as the lone eldan knight in the entire force, or quickly rising to the rank of officer in the army despite everyone trying to put entire boulders in his way because of his tribe. Or, alternatively, he pursues a more magic-based career. Possibly either aiming to become a mage at the Royal Palace. Or he follows in his parents footsteps and continues his studies to become a doctor, which still involves studying all types of magic so he knows best how to treat anything that comes his way. Regardless, his ultimate goal is to remain close to Will. Which he probably does to a point where it's entirely possible that he manages to foil the assassination, or gets cursed instead of/alongside Will. Or he does fail, which later results in the runner group having an additional party member with Louis possibly taking over the Mage lineage from Gallica or bringing in his very own lineage (maybe some sort of parallel to his boss fight? Either Archmage or straight up Archangel or something of the sort? Regardless his lineage would 100% be magic based. Possibly like Seeker with a mix of both healing and offensive magic) Would make for a funny situation since he either immediately clocks Magla Will for the actual Prince but is utterly confused about it since he knows his best friend is either dead or near-death (Entirely possible he wasn't allowed to join the group that cares for the curse-stricken Prince, but Louis is terrifyingly smart so he probably figured out a lot of things on his own). Whoever this is, they shouldn't be Will. And yet. Just another mystery to unravel during this entire journey. At the very least whoever this is does seem very adamant about wanting to help the Prince, rather than replace him.

Louis is left in the sanctum, but at least knows that Will is out there and cared for. Still would leave plenty room to build up the funny insanity he sinks into during the game, something that still paints him as the villain for a lot of it. The moment the news of the Prince's passing reaches his ears, he essentially breaks. He was working his way up through the army in hopes of one day seeing the Prince again, but now even that has been taken from him, has it? Likely what causes his utter descend into insanity. Its what prompts him to kill the King, (after all, this old fool couldn't even keep his own son safe, what use does he still have to the kingdom?) crash the funeral and announce his plans to take the throne for himself. He remembers the days spent reading that novel with Will at his side, and if this world is intent on taking and taking and taking from him? Then he will raze it and build the utopia both he and the Prince have dreamed of upon it's ashes. Honestly? In this case there's a good chance by the time anyone can convince him the Prince is alive, he's possibly far too gone already. Doesn't believe any of that drivel. The Prince is dead. The flames had long come to swallow him up after having forgotten one last thing they could have ripped from his arms. The Elda candidate that snuck upon his runner must've been a little rat, an imposter using his face to try and gain fame and fortune. He should have eradicated him when he had the chance, but each time looking upon him made him falter because he couldn't see anyone but his friend. It's another tragedy, because by the time Louis might recognize Will for who he is, it's too late. The Royal Scepter is already in his hands, the magla is rapidly gathering, the future he has worked for is about to come to pass. Even the one person that had kept him grounded for so long can no longer stop him. And now it's up to Will to stop Louis. To put his friend out of his misery that this entire tragedy has driven him into.

[wildflowerwoodsworld]

A guide on writing YamiChar (or, how I do it, at least)

I've tried to write this meta over and over and over, trying to put all my thoughts in order, (below is my best attempt at it) but the more I try to explain how I do them, the more I realise that writing YamiChar well really just comes down to making sure that they're their own separate characters, with their own motivations and conflicts and lives outside each other. Yami needs to give a damn and Charlotte needs to not be obsessed with him. That's it.

Anyway. The meta.

First things first, the most important part of writing them (and why it so often falls short in canon) is that they both have to care about each other. Exactly how this looks can vary depending on the plot of your fic, but you cannot have Yami not caring about Charlotte in some way. The biggest reason this ship calls short in canon is because Yami doesn't really seem to give a damn about her, when he is all Charlotte's internal monologue can really focus on. She gets possessed and he doesn't seem to give a damn. After the initial fight, he doesn't even think about her, even while he's running around with Charla. Comparatively, when Yami gets kidnapped, she can't think about anything else.

Personally, I tone down Charlotte's crush. Or at least how she expresses it outwardly. Her running away from Yami screaming isn't funny, it isn't cute and it isn't helping her in any way. It's just embarrassing for her and makes her look incompetent. This woman is a Magic Knight Captain. She has a reputation to think about, people her being incompetent will reflect badly on. She is the face of the Blue Rose Knights, if people lose respect for her, then they're likely to start losing respect for her squad and that just makes their job harder than it needs to be. Especially considering the fact that, the world of Black Clover, just like our own, seems to elevate men's accomplishments above women's. So, yes. Charlotte's panicked screaming needs to go.

This isn't to say that she can't get embarrassed or flustered or that she can't panic, Charlotte is still a dramatic person at the end of the day, but those sorts of emotions are far more likely to be expressed in private, or only around people she can trust. She is not going to run screaming into a room full of strangers making a fool of herself.

On Yami's side of things, I tend to go with him not quite realising exactly what he's feeling. he has no real reason to believe what he's reading in her ki, or what people are telling him she feels. He's a foreigner. People like Nozel have made it quite clear that he isn't really welcome. Why would he think that the woman who could have literally anyone she wanted would want him?

Yami acts like a big, confident guy, but there's a lot of childhood trauma buried under all the bravado. He jokes about being a soft sensitive princess, but there's truth to it. His love interest has to be willing to look under the big macho man facade and not many people do.

So. We've got two people with a whole host of childhood trauma hiding their real selves from the world. How do we turn that into a relationship? You give them something to connect over. For these two, they're in a very unique position to understand each other in a way nobody else really can. They've both been shunned for things they can't control. They've both had people terrified of their magic. They've both had countless doors slammed in their faces. They've both dealt with people judging them on appearance alone. They've both been placed on a pedestal with a kingdom that criticises their every move. There's a lot of common ground for them to bond over.

Importantly, they aren't fixing each other. Sure, they learn from each other, but Yami doesn't suddenly become a perfect gentleman, Charlotte doesn't lose her sharp tongue or general attitude towards men. They do not suddenly become a lovey-dovey mess. They are both people who would rather ignore their feelings and leave it to deal with another time, preferably never. "That's Future Yami's problem" ring any bells? Which, I suppose, is better than Charlotte just diving straight into denial. Anyway. My point is, their romance looks like friendly teasing and unspoken trust, "I've got your back" and meaning it, the calm confidence that comes with knowing you're stronger together and capable of utterly wrecking anyone that tries to fight you.

Also, if anyone is going to retire to raise the kids, it's Yami.

TL;DR write them the same way you would if they were best friends but with more flirting.

[vasito-de-leche]

;R1999 PAVIA - General Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis on Pavia as a character and other related things.

the post about Pavia's love languages and how he shows his affection got a lot of love, so I'm doing a lil more thinking into his character to rlly flesh out how I see and write him before getting to write the second part of that post <3

just a heads up, its preeeetty fucking long. but all of my posts tend to be lmfao

On the subject of Pavia, loneliness and trauma.

In this post talked about the concept of showing affection (not exclusively romantic but just in general) and the relationship Pavia has with his reputation, both as a lone wolf and a skilled mercenary, which affect the way he interacts with those he might deem close for better and for worse. So it's only fair that I do that again in a more general context.

Let's get this out of the way. One cannot talk about Pavia without mentioning or alluding to his solitary lifestyle in some way or another, we've all read his 02 Story, but to only read him as someone who fakes this aura of confidence and who feels deeply insecure and lonely 24/7 is an obvious disservice to his character.

Pavia is defined by a strong sense of self which, yes, originates from isolation and neglect. And you may read this as an active choice for survival, a coping and defense mechanism or the natural progress of someone who has had no one to rely on but themself - all of these readings are valid and can easily coexist! But I would like to insist that Pavia as we know him is confident and comfortable in his own skin, happy to live as an outlier to conventional norms and behaviour.

And that's because he's weaponized loneliness into a strength and a shield. He's outgrown that small, neglected child in the basement.

Hell, in his interview with Pandora Wilson, he mentions the fun of "causing pain" onto others, in the context of his presence being used as a "punishment" for others. He's surrounded by people he considers stupid, and he has fun at their expense when they try to bring him into their shenanigans. Pavia is a confident asshole, it is not a façade for a sad boy.

One quote in particular comes to mind when discussing this aspect of Pavia.

Go back to Rome, where the wolves were born. Said my former boss. He knew I was born in Rome, but didn't know I was raised in Piemonte. He was such a fool, even tried to kill me. So I only kept his tie clip. I didn't tell him that as long as the night will come, everywhere I live is Piemonte.

This line in particular, from my reading on it, speaks volumes about how Pavia has reclaimed the night - alluding to the one place he was forced to live in for his entire childhood, a dark and isolated basement, the concept of loneliness itself - as something that defines him and should inspire fear into others. His wolves are made out of darkness, his Ultimate in-game shows him manifesting out of a dark fog on the ground. And the context of that quote is hostile, it's Pavia's former boss telling him to go back to Rome, and Pavia mentioning that no matter where he goes, as long as the night comes, he's home.

One could argue that the quote is meant to be read differently - instead of Pavia reclaiming something that hurt him to now empower him, he's haunted by it. No matter where he goes, he'll always be in Piemonte, in that dark and isolated basement, with no one to pull him out. And that's fair! To each their own, both are banger readings on that dialogue. I just personally think the former fits better with the character as a whole.

The former reading is also supported by his 02 Story, where he describes the wolves that his Arcanum abilities manifested as "friends he found in the darkness and would never leave him".

One wolf hid behind another, and the pack surrounded him in the darkness of the night. They held each other's heads and tails and coiled together like snakes, bringing with them warmth and restful sleep. These were the friends he found in the darkness, ones who would never abandon or leave him, and who would forever watch over him.

In his Cover profile, his Afflatus is also "Mourning of the Feral Pack [Beast] Night View".

And when you check Pavia's small description in the Role Garment menu, his main garment and the one unlocked at Insight II form the following phrase:

He's always alone, both in the basement and on the street. It doesn't matter now, though. He will never be "alone" from now on.

His Afflatus, his Arcanum abilities, every small detail - everything points towards Pavia owning the night and the darkness that used to hurt him so much as a child. Because it cannot hurt him now that he's made friends with it, in the form of shadow wolves who will never leave him. He's not stuck here with you, you're stuck him with him. (that Insight II quote will be relevant again later when I talk about the lack of? Humanity? so to speak? in Pavia's character)

But anyway! This doesn't mean that the discussion on Pavia and loneliness/isolation should stop there.

After all, his Afflatus also says "Mourning of the Feral Pack" - mourn what exactly? A lost childhood? The family he could've had if his mother hadn't been admitted to an asylum? The young and innocent child that died in that basement so that the current Pavia could exist?

Who knows! Talk about it, it's fun and I love to read other people's takes! <3

On the subject of trauma specifically, I do see Pavia as someone who lives in the present and doesn't think much about the past - he only mentions his parents once in a seemingly disinterested manner, stating that he never visited (and most likely will never visit) his mother. Piemonte is where his abusive aunt raised him, but he shows a certain pride in his city anyway.

It's not that he's overcome and healed from his trauma, it's that he doesn't even register the things that happened to him as traumatic experiences due to the distance and recontextualization of everything.

The fandom portrayal of Pavia as a deeply lonely person often comes hand in hand with him being touchstarved and the experience of feeling any semblance of genuine human connection for the very first time - but I would like to offer an alternative, explained in the next bullet point.

On the subject of Pavia, conventional society and his pack of wolves.

Pavia's official description, as seen in this tweet made by the official global account of the game, is the following:

An independent mercenary lacking in collaborative skills. Employers are content with his excellent abilities, but can't stand his work ethic of ignoring his coworkers.

This, along with his other quotes and the interview with UTTU, point towards how the world sees Pavia as a nuisance of sorts - a punishment, we know this - but it also points towards Pavia's rejection of conventional society.

The way Pavia behaves, the way he insists on maintaining the barrier between himself and conventional society, the pleasure he takes in making others suffer just by BEING THERE NEXT TO THEM, the stress he puts into being alone - it leads me to think that THIS is the result of his trauma.

It's not a deep seated loneliness, it's not yearning and secretly wishing for genuine connections, it's not a fear of the dark or enclosed spaces - it's an absolute and total rejection of the world that failed him.

Pavia cannot feel or grasp loneliness on the same level as other characters might because there is not a single person in this world he would rather spend his time with other than himself. The details of how he got out of the basement and began a life of crime haven't been revealed yet, so I won't theorize about it, but I like to think that everything that Pavia is and represents is one big "fuck you" to a world that left him to rot in that basement.

It all loops back to the previous point - by rejecting mankind and society as a whole, Pavia becomes the opposite: a beast who acts on his own accord rather than the rules that make up polite society. And in doing so, grows closer to himself and his pack. In doing so, he allows his humanity to slowly slip away.

The Insight II quote I mentioned before is a great example of this - the change in his sprites shows Pavia's eyes changing, now with black sclera and sharper teeth, darkness (and two of his wolves) surrounding him. He will never be "alone" from now on because he is now ONE of the pack, because this is where he belongs.

The medium for his Arcanum (not the "wand" used to cast spells and magic, those are different things from what I understand) is "Beast Teeth". Compare this with other characters: Zima's medium are poems, Dikke's medium is the law, Sonetto's medium is curiosity. An arcanist's medium seems to be a concept or object that represents who they are and what they believe in, something that is essential to their life and dear to their core. Pavia's is beast teeth. He's a beast Arcanist.

I like to think that Pavia based his behaviour, knowingly or not, on his pack of wolves. After all, he's the one who conjured them, it makes sense to me that he would subconsciously latch onto them. This would explain his more animalistic traits that show just how disconnected Pavia is from what a regular human being should be.

You guys freak me out when you sleep. What kind of people needs such a long sleep like that? Fall in a coma like a crispy critter, and wake up 8 hours later. …Only god knows how you can do that.

This dialogue implies that Pavia cannot wrap his head around a normal sleeping schedule - which is extremely ironic, considering that wolves sleep a LOT. But I'd attribute this more to the dissonance between him and conventional society than Pavia trying to larp as a wolf. We have to understand that he spent most of his days sleeping away the hunger, that he went on to reject the company of other people - it makes sense to me that he wasn't taught or didn't get to see how a normal person should behave in theory.

Despite this rejection, we can clearly see that Pavia enjoys a very hedonistic life - going on clubs, having a sweet tooth, wearing fancy clothes, shopping, films and whatnot (He's literally wearing Louboutins, guys. The soles of his shoes are RED). He plays the role of mercenary quite well, too. But it doesn't strike me as a writing inconsistency or hypocrisy from his part, Pavia is known for doing whatever he wants, one of his hand tattoos spells "LIBERTA" or freedom in italian, so this tracks. It's hard to be a hypocrite when your moral compass is all about being a wildcard.

I mentioned this in my first Pavia post, but the items attributed to him are all said to be cheap, fake or crudely hand-made.

His glasses are a copy of an actual Italian brand that no one would ever think of mistaking for the real thing, his bracelets and rings are dented and damaged, Pandora Wilson even goes as far as calling it junk. They even describe his earrings as rough workmanship. And yet, Pavia brags about his clothes and enjoys shopping. There's that small dissonance again - he enjoys bragging but does not know (or care) about the actual value or authenticity of his material possessions. (Pavia wears fake Louboutins, this is my headcanon, thanks for coming)

He plays the role of mercenary quite well, too. I'd also argue that the more violent aspects of his personality have to do with his line of work. This tweet confirms the majority of Pavia's tattoos and what they say - the one on his arm is "La Cosa Nuova", the sicilian mafia for those who didn't know. I won't go in-depth about the real life actions of such group, but it's clear that Pavia is or has been part of it within the world of Reverse: 1999.

Entering headcanon territory.

The two bullet points from before were mostly just analysis on how I read Pavia based on all evidence in-game, but now I get to talk about personal headcanons I have about him <3

I've explained pretty much everything I wanted to say about Pavia for now, so these are just gonna be rapid fire headcanons.

First of all, Pavia is a light sleeper.

The lightest sleeper you'll ever meet, even a soft whisper could wake him up - but this isn't because of some hidden fear of waking up back in his aunt's basement. Because he had nothing to focus on but the sounds within that basement, he greatly developed his hearing and his Insight II development further heightened his senses. Pavia is used to dark, silent spaces, so any unknown noise will put him on edge and wake him up. Sometimes, he pretends to sleep to get out of doing work.

Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't move at ALL when sleeping and tends to stay in the same position throughout the night.

This is something he learned, rather than something that comes naturally, because he tends to sleep with the pack and there's little space to move without accidentally kicking Andrea or Leon in the face.

Next. Pavia doesn't know that he resembles his mother a lot.

As for his mother, there are two possibilities: One, she's truly dead and he doesn't know, based on his 02 Story where his aunt confirms that Pavia's mother died a few years later, as well as Pavia's dialogue in which he talks about his mother as if she were alive. Two, she was alive the whole time and Pavia found out years later that she was committed to an asylum and his dialogue about his parents is correct.

Regardless, I like to think that he never saw her again once he was taken into his aunt's care, and that she never told him that the reason she put him in that basement was because he looks so similar to her "deceased" sister. Since they weren't there to raise him and he didn't hear anything about them from his aunt, Pavia holds no resentment and no love towards his parents, because they're total strangers to him.

Next. His wolves' names are interchangeable.

Pavia cares for his pack, and the wolves care for him in return - they were created for that very reason after all. Their dynamic and relationship is a mystery to everyone and it's much too complex to even put into words, but because they're still magical constructs he creates, their behaviour and individuality relies heavily on Pavia's skills as an Arcanist.

There are days in which it's very easy to confuse them, and there are days when it's very obvious how to tell them apart. He's had years to perfect them, to "raise" them if you will.

While the pack might not be around 24/7, they're always in the back of his mind. He can also communicate with them because of it. They don't mind if Pavia confuses them, but if someone else does it? Prepare to get bitten to death, I guess!

[william-m-lucipher]

RATING A FEW OF MY PUPPETS!

THEY ALL HAVE THEIR UPSIDES AND DOWNSIDES! HERE ARE MY OPINIONS ON A HANDFUL OF 'EM!

SIXER: MASSIVE AMOUNT OF BRAIN SPACE, FILLED WITH COMPLEXITIES! ALSO A GOOD CHUNK OF EMBARRASSING NERD MEMORIES. HIS MIND IS WHERE ALL THE LUXURY WAS!

BODILY EXPERIENCE WAS INTERESTING, HIS EYESIGHT WAS LACKING EVEN WITH THE GLASSES. IT SEEMS HE'D GONE A WHILE WITHOUT RENEWING HIS PRESCRIPTION. SURE, THE GLASSES LESSENED THINGS, BUT YEESH! ONE EYE WAS ALWAYS WORSE THAN THE OTHER, BUT THEY WERE BOTH IN BLURRYTOWN. TALK ABOUT A LACK OF DEPTH PERCEPTION! THE EXTRA FINGERS THOUGH, THEY WERE FUN! AND THAT GUY HAD A DECENT-ISH PAIN TOLERANCE THANKS TO THOSE OLD BOXING LESSONS HE AND HIS BROTHER WERE FORCED TO DO. IT WAS FUN TO TEST THE LIMITS!

A SOLID 8/10, GREAT GUY TO WORK WITH, POSSESSION EXPERIENCE COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THOUGH!

PINE TREE: BRAINWISE, LESS COMPLEXITY, MORE COMEDY, AT LEAST IN MY EYE! HE WAS A SMART KID, SURE, BUT MAN, RERUNS OF HIS LOWLIGHTS WILL KEEP ME ENTERTAINED FOR AGES. IMAGINE AN ACTUALLY FUNNY CRINGE COMPILATION THAT NEVER GETS OLD! THAAAAT'S PINE TREE!

AS FOR THE BODY, BETTER EYESIGHT, BETTER JOINTS, AND THE PAIN TOLERANCE WAS TERRIBLE, WHICH WAS GREAT FOR ME! IT WAS THE FIRST THING I NOTICED WHEN I TOOK THE STRINGS, HAHA! THOUGH BEING SWEATY, SMELLY, AND TICKLISH KINDA RUINED THE DELUXE SUITE FEEL. EH, WHEN DEALING WITH THE HUMAN BODY, THERE'S NO WAY TO HAVE IT ALL, EVER.

7/10, AT LEAST I'VE GOT A LOT TO LAUGH ABOUT.

HIRSCHEY: I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS AT THIS POINT THAT I'VE BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS WITH FLANNELBRITCHES FOR A GOOD WHILE NOW. LONG BEFORE HE EVEN SECURED A ROLE WITH THE MOUSE, I'VE BEEN A SUBTLE INFLUENCE!

NOW LISTEN, I'D LOVE TO SPILL EVERYTHING, BUT THIS GUY HAS ALL THE RIGHT CONNECTIONS TO RUIN EVERYTHING IF I MAKE THE WRONG DECISIONS WHILE USING MY OTHER PUPPETS IN THIS REALITY. LET'S JUST SAY, HIS BODY IS MID, BUT HIS MIND ALONE ADDS EXTRA POINTS! I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN, HAHA!

9/10, WHAT A GOOD FRIEND!

BURNSIDES: OH WAIT, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS YET! WINK! HAHA, COME BACK TO THIS POST FOR THE ANSWER ON SMOKEY'S BIGGEST FAN IN A FEW DAYS.

?/10, TO BE ANNOUNCED

EAS-Y: THE ONE I'M CURRENTLY USING! GONE BY SEVERAL DIFFERENT NAMES, BECAUSE THEIR MEAT SUIT IS LITERALLY STUFFED WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT PEOPLE DUE TO CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, HAHA!! THE HUMAN MIND HAS SOME WEIRD COPING MECHANISMS. E.A.S STANDS FOR THE SILLY NAME FOR THEIR SYSTEM THEY PICKED ONE DAY ON A WHIM.

MY FAVORITE ONE HERE HAS TO BE ZILLARA, WHO I ONCE REFERRED TO AS "T" DURING AN APRIL FOOL'S EVENT ON THE SYSTEM'S ABANDONED ACCOUNT. (IT WAS SHORT FOR THE COLLECTIVE DEADNAME OF THIS VESSEL.) HE'S AN OLD HOST AND AN OLD PAL! Z'S BEEN SO... GENUINELY NICE TO ME FOR ALMOST TEN YEARS NOW. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?! HAHA!!! Ah... ENOUGH ABOUT JUST ONE GUY, THOUGH, THIS PLACE IS PACKED WITH EM! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY DON'T HAVE WIGGLE ROOM. THIS MIND IS MORE SPACIOUS THAN PINE TREE AND SIXER'S COMBINED, BUT IT'S ALL BEING USED ON KEEPING FOLKS COMFORTABLE AND GUARDING HARMFUL MEMORIES. LISTEN, I'M NOT SALTY ABOUT THE MEMORY GUARDING. I TOOK A PEEK, AND JEEZ, IT'S DEFINITELY FOR THE BETTER.

ANYWAYS, THIS PLACE IS LAYED OUT LIKE A WHOLE SMALL TOWN! BEST VACATION HOME OUTTA ALL OF 'EM! AS AMAZING AS HIRSCHY'S IS, IT'S BUSY BUSY BUSY EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME. PARTIALLY MY FAULT FOR GETTING HIM INTO THE ANIMATION INDUSTRY. SORRY THERE, BUDDY!

THE DOWNSIDE TO IT ALL IS THAT EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE PLENTY WHO LIKE ME HERE, I'VE ALSO GOT A FAIR SHARE OF ENEMIES WHO CALL THEMSELVES "PROTECTORS" AND "GATEKEEPERS." NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF AN ANGRY SECRETARY LADY, LET ME TELL YOU!

BODY WISE, IT'S QUITE THE PAIN BUFFET! BAD JOINTS, MIGRAINES, LOW PAIN TOLERANCE, AND MAN, THE TICS AND SEIZURES! YOU'D THINK GIVEN MY EXPERIENCE WITH BODY SPASMS WHILE PUPPETING PINE TREE, I'D HATE THESE, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT! IT'S SOME OF THE FUNNIEST PAIN, THE PUNCHLINE HITS YOU OUTTA NOWHERE, SEVERAL TIMES, IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS!

8.5/10, TALK TO YOUR PROTECTORS AND YOU MIGHT EARN THE FIRST 10, OR AT LEAST A 9.8!!!

IN SUMMARY:

- SIXER'S A DECENT PUPPET, BUT A BETTER ALLY. STILL A SHAME HE NEVER JOINED ME

- PINE TREE IS A PERSONAL COMEDY CLUB!

- HIRSCHEY IS A GREAT PUPPET, AND A POWERFUL ALLY WHO COULD EASILY BECOME MY WORST ENEMY

- I'M UNDER NDA ABOUT GUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

- EASY HERE IS, WELL, THE EASIEST ONE!!

MAYBE I'LL RATE A FEW MORE SOMETIME, LIKE CHARLES GUITEAU, OR WITH LUCK, YOU!

[teenwolf-confessions]

Liam is a Scorpio although he definitely has Leo placements, his confidence and his charm and his sass is very Leo, but I wouldn’t say it’s his sun sign. Brett, Theo and Hayden all transformed from general assholes to soft lil simps purely from having Liam in their life. Scott changed from a lovesick wolf to a responsible fatherly alpha from having to care for Liam - he’s very transformative and leaves an impact on the people around him. He keeps his emotions locked up tight, stubbornly telling everyone he’s fine (watch the zoo scene with Theo - he says ‘I’m fine’ like 7 times). Even in the car after, he doesn’t actually say why he was so freaked out at the zoo, he is very tight lipped and Theo holds most of the conversation. When we first see him, he also purposely restrains from telling Scott and Stiles that he was kicked out, simply saying he was transferred - very private like a scorpio. he also isn’t opposed to emotional manipulation i.e. crying to get Scott and Stiles to untie him and using Scott’s friendship w Stiles to convince him to let Theo stay. He can also be quite cutting - ‘Should’ve left you in the ground, think you rotting down there….Im not gonna help you or save you, I’m gonna use you as bait’ - knows what to say to hit someone where it hurts. Very observant and smart as well (watch the scene with him sussing out Monroe in S6). His anger is far more long term and lasts, like him holding a grudge against Brett and Theo. Scott tried to talk him down when Liam was trying to kill him but he kept going for ages until Mason, very Scorpio-like anger - very powerful and stubborn. Aries anger is up and down in two seconds hence why he ain’t Aries. His way of tackling things/obstacles far bigger than him through sheer willpower is very Scorpio i.e. taking on a hellhound stronger than Parrish and winning, being thrown through a window and still being able to fight, having his chest slashed open and insisting that he’s fine.

Theo is Pisces for sure. People will be screaming Scorpio but he’s not. Pisces are like chameleons, they morph into and blend in with their environment - the doctors wanted him to be a manipulative murderer and from their personas as well, he became that. And he became what qualities were appealing to the pack to try and fool them - very Pisces-esque deception and manipulation. Scorpios also don’t lie, they value authenticity and honesty a lot so they ain’t gonna be pretending to be someone else - they’ll stab you in the front not the back - which is why it ain’t Theo. Plus, the pack, mostly Liam, were selfless, heroic people and Theo became that from being around them - very Pisces chameleon-esque qualities. Also, Theo is so bloody open and emotional. He was in the tunnels with Stiles for like two seconds and soon enough was going off unleashing all his emotions spiralling like ‘I was nine year old, I also believed a red guy came to deliver presents, do you think I had any idea what was going on’ full on having an outburst. He also does this with Liam in the hospital all like ‘What do you think I was doing down there? Catching up on childhood memories?’, he’s literally the least guarded, most reactive person ever lol. Him crying a million times in his two season timespan, with the Sherriff and with Scott lying about Stiles and the doctors telling he was a failure in S5 and in hell and when Liam told him he was sending him back in S6 is also very Pisces. Him being toyed around by Deucalion and Scott through most of 5B so easily is also very characteristic of Pisces’ gullible nature. Wants to prove he’s not a failure, wants to prove he’s a good person, wants to prove he’s powerful, always wants validation - very Pisces. In Season 6, he shows a lot of compassion, empathy and patience on several occasions which is also characteristic of Pisces. His loneliness and finding company in a spider is very Pisces as well. Pisces are also very attached to their subconscious and the realm of dreams so his trauma from hell showing up as nightmares or when he zones out and when he gets to the hospital because of the trauma - very Pisces.

[twitteringnerdsneverfly]

Is Yashiro’s sexuality innate or his another coping mechanism against his trauma, as if the trauma is too early (he said himself that he was raped even before knowing what affection was) and too severe that his brain restructures itself to survive?

Hi @kyrieren ! You are my first ask woo! 🥳 I am not a neuropsychiatrist however 😅 neither am I a psychologist, all I can give you is my personal opinion, and it may be very scientifically inaccurate!

However, I can add a caveat that I have personal experience with trauma (not Yashiro-type trauma tho) and I do have some friends irl who have had childhood trauma and these are merely my layman observations + research 🧐

Childhood attachment is an attachment theory of how we learn to develop, cope and bond with people in the world. It's said that your romantic attachment style will be your childhood attachment style because it's what you've grown up with, what you know, how to deal with the people closest to you. Romantic relationships tend to bring out your attachment style because parental and romantic relationships are usually the closest you are to another human being.

Given that childhood attachment teaches us how to relate to the world and people, this becomes familiar and what we know.

The worst childhood attachment style: insecure disorganised attachment.

This is when a child is betrayed by the caregivers around them, who are meant to provide a safe, secure, loving base and instead what the child receives is physical, sexual, emotional or neglectful abuse.

The brain gets fucked, it's scrambled, a child cannot comprehend what is happening. All you know as a child is that mom/dad/uncle/etc is hurting you and they are your caregivers, who you rely upon in this world.

Unfortunately, it is unbearable to think as a child that mom/dad etc is bad (how are you to cope / survive if the people you rely upon are either bad or don't love you?) so unfortunately what tends to happen are the following:

The child starts to think they're bad

The child starts to rationalise that they must deserve the punishment

That punishment is misconstrued as an act of love / given a positive spin

None of these are verbalised / articulated / rationalised states. A lot of the time they are subconscious, automatic.

Enter Yashiro.

IMHO, Yashiro's betrayal from his caregivers, his insecure disorganized attachment (which also he displays avoidant attachment traits too), is so severe that he has warped the trauma into a good thing. It is unbearable for him to think that his mom and step father have betrayed / abused him to such a degree so he has taken the most painful part of it, and fooled himself into thinking "it wasn't so bad, kinda liked it".

So in his adult sexual relationships Yashiro, in my opinion subconsciously, finds himself acting out the abuse again and again: hands tied, taken from behind, can't see the face. And claims this is his preference.

To deal with all the trauma, Yashiro's brain has combined the severity of the trauma that has left its mark upon his brain with "oh I'm addicted to sex, and sex in this particularly painful way" without adding everything together.

This fucked up way Yashiro has sex is his trauma and attachment all combined. Unspoken within the attachment are things like: this is what I must do to feel safe, this is what I must do to survive / get on the good side of this person.

Yashiro has a kind of detachment to his trauma or so he claims, yet it is so embedded in his brain as the norm that it's his preference because this type of sex is what is familiar.

So yes Kyrieren, in answer to your question, Yashiro's sexuality is his coping mechanism.

It's what he had to put up with to survive, and his brain has now twisted it to think it wasn't so bad, maybe he even liked it. It makes the trauma more digestible to Yashiro this way.

ENTER DOUMEKI.

Doumeki threatens this entire narrative Yashiro has given himself to cope, "oh I like sex this way, it's not so bad, I don't feel anything otherwise, this is what I want".

Yashiro HAD to believe he wanted / wants sex this way because he had no other choice. He was raped and abused. And he has done as best as any trauma survivor could.

Doumeki represents choice and also a shattering of Yashiro's previous beliefs and the super uncomfortable mirror that what happened to Yashiro was not OK, he was betrayed, painful sex is not the norm, nothing to do with his abuse is OK - he is now allowed and able to choose another way. But this is unfamiliar and scary for our dear Yashiro, and holds a lot of painful realisations.

Thanks to Kyrieren for asking the question!

[maxdibert]

Sirius is such an interesting character. Such a shame that I completely abhor his personality. His mysterious and magnetic aura attracts me but his personality always makes me cringe away from liking him. But out of all the Blacks him and Andromeda (not her personality just her story) are the most compelling. Narcissa is kind of boring to me, Regulus is sort of there and Bellatrix is a dilemma. In the books she is just this nasty character but overall she has lots of potential to uncover so that leaves me undecided whether I like her or not lol. The potential is there but Rowling failed at giving her more depth so we are left with shit.

Right? And for me, one of Rowling's biggest mistakes with Sirius was putting so much effort into whitewashing him and downplaying his awful personality, instead of giving him the depth he deserved. Sirius chose the right path, but he was a very dark guy with a lot of ghosts, and clearly had inherited terrible traits due to the upbringing he had in his family. He's a chaotic good by the book, who tends to do what's right, but in ways that can cause real damage, and that's pretty interesting about his character. I think if Rowling had spent less time portraying him as the great father figure for Harry and someone we should forgive all his sins for being "one of the good guys," and instead had given him a more realistic portrayal, one where the guy has good qualities and genuinely loves the protagonist and would do anything for him but his moral compass is highly questionable, then I could have accepted his past personality without it being so problematic. Even if he didn’t regret being a jerk, if the narrative confirmed that he was a jerk, then I could reconcile with him. But the narrative constantly excuses him, and that’s something I can’t forgive. For me, the most tragic part of Sirius' character is that I see him as the flip side of Severus: the guy who comes from a rich, aristocratic background and tries to do the right thing but messes it up vs the guy who comes from a poor, resource-lacking background and ends up on the wrong path but eventually reforms. They have a lot of similarities: both were obsessed with their best friends, both project James onto Harry (each in their own way), both hated one of their parents fiercely, both hated their childhood homes but in the end, they end up trapped in them (Severus always returns to Spinner's End, Sirius could have chosen any room in the Black house to sleep in but chose his hated mother's bedroom), and both are dysfunctional adults who’ve stagnated cognitively in their teenage years due to trauma. They're two sides of the same coin, and it would have been really interesting to explore that aspect of Sirius instead of turning him into a useless and pathetic character. Because yes, Sirius is pathetic, let’s not fool ourselves, but in the books, he’s not pathetic for the right reasons.

And of course, Bellatrix had a lot of potential beyond being a fanatic follower of Voldemort, but Rowling doesn’t like dysfunctional women, in fact, she hates them, so she only portrays them as pure evil without much depth, because apparently, she can’t accept that women are more than just self-sacrificing mothers and pick-me girl cheerleaders for the heroes. Such a shame.

[shanieveh]

BACK TO DECEMBER — late night drinking buddies !

SCARAMOUCHE — the new kid everyone has mixed feeling about. he rarely talks to anyone not until childe adopted him and forced him to be in his friend group. he didn't know the school had you in it, and when he found out he will do everything for you to notice him again.

CHILDE — will probably already be suspended if not for his rich parents. childe is your average highschooler if not for the way he unsuccessfully causes havoc in the school. the guys hate him, but the girls, oh they write diaries and say incredible confessions in which he awkwardly avoids.

KAZUHA — sweet and gentle guy every single teacher likes. he goes about his day fixing everything and being very patient with anyone he comes across with. he creates ethereal poems, but don't let that fool you, once a drinking session is on course, he says the weirdest shit imaginable.

ALHAITHAM — he was here because he heard that they liked alcohol but now he becomes a tired sad dad of 7 children all of which had too many trauma injected in their bodies. although he is known for his boyfriend, a lot of people still crush on this dude, only to be met with kaveh's broom stick.

AETHER — he is literslly shipped with the whole campus, and even his sister's crush. he is very helpful in every single event but for some reason still not apart of the student council but he doesn't mind. he finds scaramouche annoying at first but they became very close after a while and now he knows the whole drama between you and him.

ALBEDO — the weirdest once you get to know him. scaramouche thought he was the cool guy who is smart and handsome, but boy was he wrong. albedo is a caffeine addict who talks too much about research and science, but they don't mind because he lets you copy off his paper.

CYNO — if this bitch can't shut up about his boyfriend, it isn't about his jokes anymore, it's about how he shows his family everytime he doesn't get what he wants, and even tighnari gets tired of it. but he really doesn't like you for what you did to scaramouche, especially when he sees the dude in tears in their third drinking session.

HEIZOU — he connected the dots, actually he didn't connect shit. typa guy you see with a magnifying glass but doesn't actually use it. he flirts with a lot of people, but hey atleast he asked scaramouche's permission when he flirted with you (scara chase him away)

BACK TO DECEMBER — masterpost || reading club

SUMMARY: you were childhood bestfriends with scaramouche, and with many unanswered confessions and one sided goodbyes, you both meet again, but now he wears a cold glance even turning agressive when his eyes wander yours, and it all came down the day he became the top of your class, beating you and rejoicing in success. his smile was because of your pain. maybe you could turn back time where promises actually never broke, and love was a beautiful thing.

TAGLIST: @yukiipc @wanderchive @user11918163805279 @gekkow @moon-320 @meowmeowmau @mine-lu @sunaaa @lxkeeeee @faaariiii-world @lazy-sanns @starlightaura @ynverse @ukinya @peachysunflowerOx @creammpuff @scarlightsworld @sakurapeach @sketcheeee @divinechicha @trasshy-artist @virette @kyouzki @redsrrrr @ahseya @1999mercury @slu7 @tatiratty @naheana

NOTES: i will fix this and deepen it after i get my laptop for my phone has an image limit thank you for understanding

[beansterpie]

8, 11, 17, 18, 20, 24, 30 and 33 for fitzfool/fitzloved!

ty for the ask!

8.) What do they love most about the other? Why?

I think what Fitz loves most about his Beloved is his kindness <3 and also his playful/mischeviousness lol, or more like a combination of the two. Beloved often uses the latter to express the former, and I think he was such an important presence in Fitz childhood (and adulthood, once the Tawny Man triology comes around) for caring and fun, considering so many other people in his life were concerned with his usefulness.

And I think the Fool loves Fitz's big heart. He fucks up a lot and is like, one giant ball of bad trauma responses, but he cares really deeply about a lot of things, and he feels strongly. In a world that has been so callous to him, I think that appeals to the Fool a lot. His kindness is also another one-- I find that Fitz is a guy who has a lot of shitty kneejerk reactions, but then he tries to see things from different perspectives and attempts to be accomodating (often to a serious fault lol).

And of course their shared history is a big part of all this. They were bright spots in each other's lives when they were still too little to defend themselves from all the people that wanted to hurt them, and I can't really undermine how important those memories are to both of them.

11.) How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

Oh I think they'd both really like pet names lol. Casual ones like 'dear' or 'love' or 'sweetheart'. That being said, idk if they'd have anything more specific or unique that they consistently called each other, considering "Beloved" is such a Thing™ between them. I also really like the idea of Fitz eventually gifting the Fool with his own true name, "Keppit". Idk I think it would be a really meaningful gesture, and also it's a very cute name lol.

17.) How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why?

I think once they like, get their heads out of their asses, and finally admit that they have romantic feelings for each other, and will prioritize each other over everyone else, then yeah! Of course, that's the Big Obstacle though, and we see what happens when they don't manage to convey that to each other (so many decades of misunderstandings and missed opportunities like LEGIT).

But if they managed to admit that to each other, then I think they would be able to communicate pretty well, because the Fool's belief that Fitz doesn't return his feelings/his feelings for Fitz would be a burden on him (Fitz) vs Fitz's inherent low self esteem and deep depression and trust issues and heteronormative expectations is what really causes their miscommunications.

18.) How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

I think we've basically seen this on Fitz's end, since the Fool goes through periodic bouts of illness whenever he sheds his current skin. (I'm sure the very few non-RotE followers I have who are even reading this are going ????? at that, but I am being literal.) Anyway, when the Fool falls to fever in Assassin's Quest, from what I remember Fitz literally held him almost the entire time, and also had Nighteyes cuddle him from the other side, no? So yeah, I think Fitz would be extremely attentative, maybe to the point of being a bit stifling lol.

And the Fool would also be very attentative, but like, in a slightly more chill way. He'd have great bedside manner, is what I mean lol. Unless it was really serious-- then I think he'd be pretty frantic and quite fragile about the whole thing.

20.) How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

If they're in a place where they're able to communicate better than in canon lol, like they have an established romantic relationship, then yeah I do think their ways of comforting each other would be effective. I think even in canon, when their communication leaves something to be desired, they're still (usually) a very comforting presence to one another!

And I think largely that would be sitting and listening with understanding. Which the Fool especially is already excellent at, it's Fitz who usually struggles not to get defensive or otherwise put his foot in his mouth lol.

24.) How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

I think they compliment each other quite well, for the most part! I think Fitz runs the risk of being like, overly clingly sometimes lol. Which to be clear I think the Fool would like most of the time, but he's also someone who values freedom so if Fitz isn't able to be chill about it, it could become a problem. But the solution to that of course is for Fitz to realize that everything is ok, and This Good Thing isn't going to disappear from his life suddenly.

30.) What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

Hmmmmm love languages..... I think acts of service is definitely one for Fitz, spending time together for both of them, words of affirmation for the Fool, as well as giving gifts (his carvings). Ngl I'm not well versed in the concept of specific love languages lol, but I do think they work well together!

33.) How do they flirt? Who’s the worse flirt?

I feel like their flirting would be a lot of coy looks across rooms and comments that don't make sense to anyone else, at least from the Fool's end. And I suppose that depends on their living situation lol. If they're at Buckkeep, then they really can't be public about their relationship (unless the Fool is living as Lady Amber, which would open things up a bit more, but even then propriety is quite important at court), but if they've moved away somewhere private where they can live however they want, then they'd be a lot more obvious about things.

------

Ty for the ask, sorry for the late response!

[empressgeekt]

Your caught in the grey AU reminds me of an AU I had been trying to work on but never posted! It’s a ‘what if Poppy was with Viva?’ AU! The trauma of losing both daughters more or less makes Peppy snap and the village is discovered on the 15th anniversary.

Branch still has a rough childhood, rougher without Poppy but also somewhat less due to the fact there’s less attention on him with her constant prodding. In the end, despite Branch’s grudges with the village he doesn’t want any innocent kids suffering from their parents mistakes and doesn’t value himself enough to care that taking the Chef on is a fools mission.

Despite this, when Peppy sees Branch willing to fight for a village that hasn’t treated him right it gives him a moment of clarity and he uses that opportunity to sacrifice his own life instead to take down the Chef using the pop string as a final weapon.

When this happens there’s a large debate on whether or not Branch should be King. Branch definitely does not want the title but is also worried that if he lets someone else do it things will go back to the way they were.

In the end he decides to become king to the villagers who agree to his rules, and those who don’t are more than welcome to fend for themselves. (Many begrudgingly are forced to accept after they find out how dangerous the forest is outside the village.)

While Branch does his best to lead the very traumatised remaining village to a new location he’s struggling to try and support them given the fact it’s been a while since he’s been around others but that’s where the snack pack steps in.

Some of them had parents that were against King Peppy and understood that his methods weren’t healthy, even those that didn’t were shook by the Chef’s attack. Especially considering a handful of them almost got caught.

Although Creek and Branch had very clashing ideologies in the past, the loss of his parents and having to endure the wilderness outside has helped change his perspective. When he first rejoins Branch doesn’t trust him to take his authority seriously at all but they end up developing a balance with each other as the new village is set up.

Five years go by and we see on a different part of the map Poppy and Viva clashing heads. The putt putt trolls recently suffered a loss of crops and while Poppy wants to try and find resources outside the wall Viva refuses to let her go. Clay gets caught in the middle, understanding Viva’s perspective because he knows how scared she is and understanding Poppy’s because of his relationship to JD. (Lots of self reflection there)

Poppy does eventually manage to sneak out, all she wanted to do was collect some seeds or look for edible plants but she gets snatched by a bird. She eventually frees herself but is now lost deep in a dark forest with no clue how to get home.

Meanwhile the village 2.0 is somewhat thriving. The anniversary is now treated a lot more solemnly but they still have some celebrations, only this time to remember the deceased and the consequences of denial. Branch still doesn’t handle parties well and chooses to go on patrol that day. While out in the forest he’s surprised to find a bright pink troll, especially one he doesn’t remember seeing before.

Oh....this is interesting. Feels very in character a well. Branch being passive, yet protective. Poppy being stubborn by caring....it also made me think about what would happen if Puttputt Poppy met Char??? Humm....

[swoomoo]

For Amare: 25, either 46 or 47, 48

For Amelia: 14, 15, 19

Thank you!! ❤️‍🔥

Hello hello! Thank you for the asks! A bit long so I am adding a button.

For Amelia:

14. How did they initially feel after being embraced? Did they like being reborn into something new or did it take them a while to cope with their new reality?

Well, she is still processing it actually! She was embraced two nights prior and her sire dipped. She has others trying to fill in that role but being a Toreador antitribu and getting serial killer desires in a matter of hours is a lot to process. I don't think she is against being a vampire though. I mean having powers is kinda cool when you have no oppressive government tell you how to use them right?

15. Are they presumed to be dead or are they still acting as though they are alive to the general public?

Very much still alive and VERY quickly learning this will need to change soon. She was trying to rekindle an old romance she lost earlier in her life and hasn't made her mind up on what she will do now because of it.

19. What are their thoughts on the Sabbat?

I mean those pricks killed a lot of her family in seconds. She doesn't know what they stand for but the anarchs seem to really hate them. Weird that her sire was the spokes person for the group when she was attacked... I guess it depends on what her sire tells her. She is unfortunately... susceptible to Sabbat propaganda.

For Amare:

25. How often do they cause a masquerade breach?

Embarrassingly a lot I guess. I know she is a cammie and trying to be a scourge but to be honest... she is the only one with a pred type that gets into trouble. It's ALWAYS with feeding so I have been feeding with our new Ravnos who is sandman.

46. What are their ambition(s) if any?

Gain power to protect Vesper. Amare has had multiple very close people to her taken away. Usually to prove a point. She made a promise when Vesper's mother died to protect him so her entire unlife is dedicated to his preservation which is rough because he is a wreck-less fool that puts others lives ahead of his own.

47. What are their desire(s) if any?

They just completed a desire to have their Ravnos coterie mate get hospitality. Their next desire will be to complete a breaking and entering mission with no snags or hangups.

48. Detail things about your OC you spent a lot of time on!

This might be a bad answer but I wrote a condensed backstory that is over 30 pages. I removed dialogue from it excluding one part to make it shorter. I genuinely have enough content on her to write a book. Beyond that I would say specifically her pre-embrace life. I spent a lot of time detailing her childhood and didn't really go into much detail on her vampire life early on. Her trauma is a huge part of her character and the fulfillment I get out of playing her.

[shortcakeart]

Wings of fire tarot (part 1). Explanations below the cut! Part 2!

The Lovers (Sundew and Willow): this one is pretty self explanatory. Best canon couple in the series (next to Fathom and Indigo maybe). The trees in the background loosely represent the creator in the original card.

The Magician (Turtle): this one is mostly based of the joke of Turtle being a magician, but animus magic plays a big role in his story so I think it fits. I also think the duality of action vs inaction and skill vs latent talent works really well for his character arc. I added his enchanted objects since the magician on the card has some of his own.

The Sun (Sunny): despite the obvious, Sunny really embodies the cards traits of fun, warmth, positivity, and success. Shes holding the eye of onyx to symbolize how she used her positivity to take her destiny into her own hands. She is literal sunshine.

The Moon (Moonwatcher): the moon card stands for psychic messages, illusions, and insecurity, which embodies Moons character arc especially concerning her powers. Also, c’mon, I had to.

The Tower (Peril): this card has a lot of negative interpretations with chaos, upheaval, and destruction. While all these things can fit with Peril, I also like the positive readings of it for her. It can stand for revelations and personal growth coming from said chaos and destruction, which is very true of Peril’s arc. She grows so much from her childhood trauma and the horrific things she was forced to do, and turned her destructive powers against Scarlet, who initially manipulated her into causing said destruction.

The Fool (Blaze): Blaze has the characteristics of childlike innocence, naivety, and being a free spirit. She’s often seen as a fool by the cast as well. She does however have a new beginning (another meaning of this card) at the end of arc one. The traits that made everyone think she was foolish are likely the reason for her survival, because she is too cowardly and not ambitious enough to be involved in the final conflict with her sisters. Her innocence make her the “nicest” of the sandwing sisters, which is her saving grace.

Strength (Clay): Clay is physically strong and big, but he also fulfills the cards traits of courage, compassion, and inner strength. He is the group’s big wings, and he is always putting others needs first and looking out for his friends. The original card displays a woman holding the mouth of a lion open. I drew Clay holding the dragon bite viper because, though he doesn’t actually kill it, he sacrifices himself to protect Sunny, Starflight, and Fatespeaker from it, showing his bravery and self sacrificial nature.

The Hierophant (Starflight): Starflight fits this role because of his academic nature and his role as a founder at jade mountain academy. While not all of the meanings of this card fit his character, he does represent education and morality. Much of his book consists of him realizing the moral failings of his tribes and attempting to fight back against it. And of course he had to be holding a scroll.

[sorrinslays]

About the headcanons--

Do you have any specific ones for like how he may be in a normal au? Like if he was in our world?

If not then please elaborate on any headcanons you want!:>

Okay, so, dealing with a normal AU is. Tricky, for a lack of a better word. It really depends on what's the story is about.

If I were to try a 'realistic' take on Sampo then I would have to reimagine a lot of things. From Masked Fool lore to how Belobog could be isolated and how the fragmentum could exist realistically.

If I were to give a concrete answer, I would probably start by saying that the Aeons exist, but instead of alive concepts, they are either powerful humans, a group of likeminded individuals or crazy single minded people because I don't think we can take the 'oh they are this world's religion' route since in the game they make decision that have consequences.

The Masked Fools, realistically, would be a crazy cult. Unlike a lot of people who headcannon, I don't think the Masked Fools collect orphans. I just don't think they would 'force' elation onto children, they should find it themselves. They don't force it because then it isn't fun, the antithesis of their belief.

I think Sampo in this AU would be an orphan, one that literally has no name. Parents dead since he was an infant, home village burned down, no background, no relatives. He was taken in by some government officials or whatever and lived his whole life in an orphanage (not Natasha's). No childhood memories due to trauma.

He probably found the Masked Fools when he left (ran away from) the orphanage. I can imagine a fifteen-seventeen year old Sampo who just ran away with a fresh new name stumbling across the World's End tavern, looking for shelter from the rain after being borderline homeless for a week or two (he has an apartment, he didn't leave completely unprepared! Okay?! It's just a bit... run down...).

Just imagine, young Sampo with no penny to his name listening to the stories of other Fools, deciding to join and making a lot of stupid decisions. After living life and maturing, he decides to takes some time off. Leave the Masked Fools and truly find himself. Find what the name 'Sampo Koski' means to him.

By chance he learns about Belobog, a city that is supposed to be dead due to heavy snow storms and a lost connection with no way of communicating with the outside world. He also learns that, contrary to popular belief, the city is not dead. There's people living, a whole civilization.

So he goes there, and the rest is history. I think the Belobog storyline can be played out basically the same (without the violence). The Stellaron can be some research gone wrong by lunatics (the antimatter legion or the followers of Destruction) and, out of despair Cocolia convinces herself that this thing will save them.

The Astral Express crew can be a respected 'vigilante' group that travels around and looks out for Stellarons. But I'm just spitballing here.

Like I said, it depends on what the story is about. Sampo is a very versatile character and it's very easy to take advantage of that. If you want to write a cheesy comedy about a boyfailure thief, you can!, if you want to write a complicated noir movie about people in power and hidden motives, you can! you just have to find a way for it to be cohesive and to understand how much lore from the story you want to use.

What I described is what I would do if someone told me to make a 'realistic hsr universe'. If I had to pick a genre, it would probably a comedy with a lot of social commentary, I think the premise fits the genre

[uptoolateart]

Adrien Agreste…and Data from Star Trek. The parallels kept leaping out at me. Then I started talking about it with my husband and a friend and it spiralled. Bear in mind, this whole post is full of Star Trek spoilers, including the films, especially Nemesis.

Unnatural Creations

Adrien’s a sentibeing and Data’s an android. They’re both created by ‘unnatural’ means – created by a human rather than God/nature/whatever you believe. Consequently, they both begin their lives as blank slates, with no childhood memories, and they long to fulfil their programming. With Data, this is more literal, while in Wishmaker Adrien tells us all he ever wanted was to be what his parents wanted him to be.

This lends them a similar sense of naivety, leaving them open to being fooled or even used. In a way, they are both Pinocchio, wishing to be ‘real boys’. Pinocchio even wears a feather in his cap, which is what led me to do this drawing a few years ago.

Data and Adrien’s ‘fathers’ (creators) have made other children, too – other androids and sentibeings – not necessarily to public knowledge.

Dreams

Over time, both Adrien and Data come to desire individuality. An integral part of this is having dreams. Adrien’s dreams come in the form of personal ambitions, beginning with his love for Ladybug. Data has ambitions, too, but his dreams also come in a more literal form, i.e. as he evolves, he starts dreaming like a real human.

'Evil' Twins

Another crucial part of being human is self-reflection, highlighted by Data and Adrien’s ‘evil twins’. For Data, this is Lore, made according to the same design but with his own personality. He obtains the emotion chip intended for Data. Where Data is all logic, Lore is all feeling without boundaries. He’s the emotional potential exploding unchecked.

Adrien has a few ‘shadow’ sides, which I’ve explored before. An obvious one is Felix, wielder of the peacock miraculous, i.e. the power of emotion. Then there’s Cat Blanc, who is all of Adrien’s darker thoughts and feelings bursting forth uncontrolled.

What Lore, Felix and Cat Blanc have in common is that they are abused sons, bitter and resentful that their fathers never gave them the love they longed for. They lash out from grief and trauma. Also, Lore killed his/Data’s father, while Cat Blanc killed Gabriel in an alternate timestream.

Data needs to face and deal with this ‘shadow’ side before he’s ready to receive the emotion chip intended for him and find the happy medium between the two extremes of the emotional spectrum. We see this when he is forced to deactivate Lore, thus inheriting the emotion chip, learning from the mistakes his brother made and trying to do better.

Likewise, Adrien needs to come to terms with his ‘shadow’ before he’s ready to face the final battle with Monarch. In Conformation, this played out as Adrien having the emotional maturity to recognised when he was out of control and make the decision to remove his miraculous, stepping away from the battle before he could do damage.

This is without even getting into the mirror universes in both shows, where Data has a much more direct ‘evil’ alter, and Cat Noir comes head-to-head with Claw Noir. (Sadly, we never saw Data hug Evil Data the way we saw our two Noirs accept each other.) There was also the very brief Copycat moment. Adrien’s had a lot of doubles.

It’s interesting to note that Lore believed he was superior to humans and had a genocidal plan, much like Felix snaps all the non-sentibeings out of existence in Emotion. Lore also dresses like Data and poses like him to fool their father and others on the ship, like Felix does with Adrien, attempting to fool Gabriel and others in Adrien’s life. A key difference is that Lore never really gets the chance for redemption, whereas Felix is only 14 and has his whole life ahead of him, with the opportunity for positive evolution. He discovers the love he’s lacked as a child and chooses to change.

At one point, Lore also implants the emotion chip in Data and uses it to control him remotely, inspiring anger and hate in him, thus weaponising him. Felix makes it very clear that he would never try to control Adrien. Instead, it’s Gabriel who controls Adrien via the twin rings, the Alliance, and magical dust causing him to live out his worst nightmare. In Cat Blanc and Ephemeral, we also see Gabriel akumatise Adrien, using his darkest feelings to transform him into a weapon.

Perfection

When Data first meets his brother, Lore convinces Data that he was created as a 'less perfect' version of him. When they are later summoned back to their father's secret home, Data learns this is untrue and is fascinated to realise that he is 'not less perfect than Lore'. Adrien, too, is repeatedly described as 'perfect'.

Cats

Data has a beloved pet cat. Adrien, of course, spends all his private time with Plagg. I also can't help but notice that Data and Cat Noir's eyes are similar in colour.

Artistry / Education

Data is a keen painter and violinist, and well-versed in just about everything, bearing in mind he was programmed with encyclopaedic knowledge. Adrien is a pianist and, thanks to his father’s programming, is also highly skilled in multiple disciplines and languages…and seems to know a lot of very random information, e.g. Morse code.

Undead Mothers and the Demented Fathers Who Can’t Let Them Go

Adrien’s father can’t get over the death of his wife and keeps her cryogenically sustained in the basement. Similarly, Data’s ‘father’ was married to a woman Data deems his ‘mother’. She, too, died long ago, but his father transferred her personality and memories into an android body. She’s the only android in the galaxy who can pass as completely human, even in medical scans.

Self-Sacrifice

Cat Noir is always sacrificing himself for Ladybug. We don’t know if he remembers those moments of death or not. He seems to throw himself in front of her on instinct, as if it were the natural order of things. He believes he’s not as valuable as she is.

In Star Trek: Nemesis Data sacrificed himself for Picard – although he did see himself as of equal value. In fact, he argued strenuously throughout the series for equal status with humans. And to all of us watching Nemesis…I can’t begin to tell you how hard his ‘death’ hit me.

On paper, it makes sense for an android – a robot – to sacrifice himself so a human may live. But we spent seven seasons plus several films getting to know Data. Android or not, he was a beloved character, he was a friend, he formed relationships. That’s why the crew gave him a full funeral and eulogies.

Likewise, Cat’s sacrifices hit Ladybug hard, something many of us fanfiction writers have explored in depth.

Programming

Perhaps the biggest difference is that Data knew he was programmed. He knew he was at the mercy of his microchip. He knew when his emotion chip was installed. He was wholly conscious of his developmental journey.

Yet, even after five seasons, Adrien has no idea. He doesn’t know he’s been programmed because he doesn’t know he’s a sentibeing. Like something out of Blade Runner – and like Data’s mother – Adrien would pass the Empathy Test and be deemed human yet still have no idea of his origins.

The fact is, you can’t break your programming until you know you’ve been programmed.

Data was given all the chances he needed to live a full life and make a fully informed decision about what he wanted to do with it at the end when he made that final sacrifice. Adrien has none of that. He was edging towards revelation, realising his father was controlling him somehow, but all of that was taken from him at the end of S5. It’s like if Data were given a hard reset.

Marinette’s choice to keep the truth from Adrien mirrors Data’s choice to keep the truth from his android mother. She believes she’s a human, the original woman she was made to replicate, and he chooses to let her carry out her life under that pretence.

'I want to be a real boy!'

As I said, Data and Adrien are both like Pinocchio, trying to be ‘real boys’.

At the end of Data’s life, it didn’t matter whether he was made by a scientist or by organic means. He touched people’s lives, and that made him real in all the ways that matter.

Similarly, if Adrien got snapped away, people would remember him. They would mourn him. It doesn’t matter if there’s a body left behind or not. He too has touched so many lives, and that makes him just as real and important as any organic human.

In these ways, I believe they both succeed at being 'real' regardless of how they came into being.

I bet I could think of more parallels if I tried, but this has already got long enough :)

[apostlearcana]

Info Dump. Now *holds gun*

Okay, okay! ;; Under a cut! ...but first, some history. (Also under the cut!)

Zenkichi's big turn and the first time I saw the August 14th scene was two days before my birthday, March 20. My friends were telling me that he was gonna be the one I would yell about ridiculously, and I snorted it off. How could anyone think that the dorky cop was gonna be the one I liked the most? I liked the single dad sad cops that would absolutely tear down the country for their kids. … …and then I saw the entire scene with Zenkichi after Sapporo, and I was absolutely thrown headfirst into 'wait, what in the fuck is this?' Needless to say, I had to stop after the save point because I was crying. A lot. Goofy old dork is actually- really fucking messy on the inside? Oh no. Oh NO, I suddenly latched on like a fool.

It sort of became a big spiral from there about him, and I began to come up with a ridiculous degree of sad with him that the game never explained because- it's a month long experience. And not enough time to really dive into the meat of the whole "EXCUSE ME, THE NEW DAD WE PICKED UP IS ACTUALLY FULL OF SELF-LOATHING AND BULLSHIT" sort of idea. (And about how Joker/Akiren was somehow okay with working with a fucking cop after. Y'know. All of P5/R? MUH?)

As per this introduction of Zenkichi and in my time crying about him for the last three years, I have thus come up with the following... headcanons and sobbing ideas.

🅱️LEASE NOTE A LOT OF THIS IS FIXED IN MY SILLY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE FOR THINGS, BUT IF IT SOUNDS NEAT, IT CAN BE APPLIED IN OTHER CONTEXTS.

🌸-🐺-🌸-🐺-🌸

Zenkichi and Valjean have had a connection for the last some twenty plus years. It started as that little voice in his head that would tell him to push the envelope, chase the bad guys, indulge in his anger. Zenkichi would often rebuff these advances, and over time, the voice got louder and angrier at how he wouldn't speak up a lot for himself because of 'how he just sits like an obedient dog and takes it.' It's only in Akane's jail that he finally breaks free of his chains and begins to really make a man out of himself.

Zenkichi does have some mental illnesses, mostly due to childhood trauma involving emotional abuse from his father. Emotions were pretty much a way to get his dad to yell at him about how weak he looked; being sad or angry or even melancholic were good ways to get the 'boys don't cry' talk of sorts often, and he bottled his emotions at a very early age. (And he still does many times, mainly because he doesn't want the kids to see him breaking down. The Thieves often help him with this, as does Maruki to an extent.)

There's a saying that your anger can hurt you more than it can hurt others, and it actively applies to Wolf's Fury mechanic in the Metaverse. As it stands today (04/03/2024), the kids vaguely know of his power and how it can fuck him up in the Metaverse. What the kids don't know, however, is that his wounds carry into the real world and give him many scars. At first, he tries to chalk them up to wounds he got when he was on the force for years, but it eventually will catch up to him: when the Thieves see the damage it does to him, they get… very concerned, to say the least. And they will hound him to get scar cream for some of the worse ones.

Zenkichi has smoked for a few years, but he did stop before he met the Phantom Thieves; he can't do the mile for shit, but he can jog fairly okay. His drinking habits aren't that great, though, to wear he can actually have enough to pass out. ...he's getting better though. Trying to get better. (He can get to be too lazy to get up and get one.)

Each time Enduring Soul activates for Zenkichi, it fucks him up pretty badly. I know the game mechanics say he survives with one HP and bounces back, but I've taken it a step further to say that yeah. He dies. He does die, and he comes back with renewed fervor. As the only known playable character that isn't a protagonist to have this ability, I have once more taken it to a higher degree of fuckery and made it worse.

Every one of the Phantom Thieves's experience with a shitty dad makes him want to go and punch a bastard, but they convince him not to do so... so he won't go to jail. However, he doesn't listen and visits many of them. And while he doesn't get physical, he instills the fear of Valjean into every one of them.

To help deal with his anger issues he's unlocked since his awakening, he's since remembered his hand-to-hand combat training from being on the force; with Valjean's (genuine) gentle nudges and coaxing, he finds himself slowly going back into combative sports. He finds it liberating when he can go wild in private away from the kids, knowing that many of them have some kind of trauma from adults being angry or violent.

THAT SAID… when the kids find out about his habit, I'd like to think that Zenkichi admits that he didn't want to tell the kids out of fear and their traumatic pasts and whatnot, but they're far more relieved he has an outlet for said rage that's healthy for him and not doing worse things. (It also comes in handy for other things- because these kids can't stay out of trouble too often, but that comes down the line much later.)

Gramps- does leave the force, but only after he and Miyako speak about it at length for a long time. He ends up becoming a private investigator with quite the name for himself that gets mumbled through the streets: the Wolf of Kyoto.

I have quite a number more but... this is getting long.