#do i want to tag this with them? i feel someone's gonna yell at me
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brw · 10 months ago
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I've read avengers inc. #5 so I can be an informed hater and while the issue was Bad (why did all of that happen in janet's book with her narrating the moment hank met nadia? why did he already know of her? the whole thing was underwhelming), I can see ewing writing a good hank with a little more research. The comment about hank and nadia being geniuses who are driven to the point of destruction annoyed me because I can see what's being said but what did nadia even do that warranted that? have a manic episode? but since it's janet saying it, I'm not too upset. I know jerwhit wrote her as mental health ally #1 but she was consistently not great about her husband's mental illnesses & there's no point in getting rid of that part of her character, I think, without actually addressing it. Other than that comment, though, hank wasn't the worst-written character in that book and I reluctantly found myself a little interested in what ewing's take on him would be if he were to write him again. What do you think?
He wrote a good Hank in his Ant-Man series (imo), so the strange characterisation of Hank was just odd. Like, yes we're having a different time tonally than 60s Ant-Man–but he is ultimately the same person at the end of the day, and the characterisation mixed with the art did feel very MCU-lite. I do agree that I think he could do better by Hank, he just needs to. leave Janet alone because holy hell he cannot write that woman. He has done better by Hank. I just generally think that this series was not his best work at all, like even his Vision, who's writing I loved in Ultron Forever, did not feel right and felt disjointed and out of character.
And yeah Nadia has never really been "driven to destruction" in the same way that's at all comparable, and certainly not in the same way that affected Janet specifically, so it's a bit weird of a line, but as you say, Janet has historically not been great around mentally ill people, not just with Hank but with Wanda Maximoff too, which I think is a more interesting personality trait than "patient to a fault Step-mother for Nadia" but writers are allergic to Janet being flawed in an interesting and realistic way so I guess we're stuck like this.
Anyway. I do think there's hope for a good Hank under Ewing, he just–needs to not include Janet until he can understand her core personality traits, that she's 1) someone who is determined to enjoy life and to enjoy herself, 2) that she's passionate specifically about being an Avenger, that she loves being on that team, working with other people, having that group dynamic and is not terribly interested in working solo, 3) is not good with feelings. She often says the wrong thing or can come off as incredibly dismissive. She tries her best, and does employ a more gentle persona around the people she loves, but she does not think before she speaks largely and can upset people often. 4) Is a massive control freak. She does not trust enough people other than herself to do certain jobs right and prefers to do them herself, even if her help might not be needed or appreciated. She doesn't stop to ask for another opinion, she's confident in her own ability to go ahead and do it, even when it comes to incredibly important decisions in other people's lives. She's an incredibly nuanced, complex character, who's as much a flighty fashion designer as she is someone who needs some amount of control in every facet of her life as an adult. Ewing's Janet just has been extremely frustrating to read and I'm annoyed his lack of understanding for her dragged down Nadia and Hank's first interaction and made everything feel odd.
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moeblob · 8 months ago
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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zarovich · 1 year ago
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even tho i am covered in so much scar tissue, it never feels like it's enough
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vitalverstappen · 25 days ago
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Homecoming SMAU - C. Leclerc
summary: have you ever had a massive crush on your team rival? (smau edition)
pairing: Charles Leclerc x Red Bull driver!reader
fc: various, just pretend they're all the same person
a/n: i kinda love this fic wayyy too much to let it go so soon, so I decided to make a smau version for your enjoyment!
written
masterlist
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liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and 737,602 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: Didn't go how we planned, but grateful to snatch a point. Congrats to Charles for the home race win!
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charles_leclerc: thank you!! can't wait to celebrate later!
yourusername: lmk when and where and i'll be there!!
user1: wdym my two fav drivers are definitely about to get plastered together??
user2: they've been friends since she broke into f1, only makes sense they would user3: yeah "friends" he's been in love with her since he saw her for the first time
user2: no.
maxverstappen1: over/under on how long it takes for her to get ready? line is at 2.5 hours
logansargeant: over
landonorris: over
oscarpiastri: over
redbullracing: over
user4: there's no way she really takes THAT long
logansargeant: you'd be surprised
twitter & max's texts
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liked by user1, user2, and 36,583 others
f1gossip: some of the drivers out and about in Monaco celebrating Charles' home win!
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user5: whoever let lando dj needs a RAISE
user6: i heard logan and oscar were also there!
user7: is it just me or do charles and y/n look weirdly close together??
user3: im telling you guys there's got to be SOMETHING going on between them
user2: again, guys and girls can be just friends.
user6: it's also a club. they're gonna be packed together
user8: i don't even want to know how much money they spent
monza media day
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liked by: logansargeant, francolapinto and 673,842 others
tagged: logansargeant, francolapinto
yourusername: wdym i'm now the only one here repping the red, white n blue?? but in all reality, it's been an honor getting to know you Logan, you'll always be my best friend & I can't wait to see what you do in the future!!
but welcome to the grid Franco! you've got some tough shoes to fill
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logansargeant: thank you y/n. gonna miss you <3
yourusername: at least now you wont have to spend the 4th in the UK... again...
francolapinto: gracias y/n! No puedo esperar a ver qué trae el resto de la temporada!
yourusername: i have no idea what you just said but yes!!
user9: oh she's just like us
user10: girl is down bad
user2: @/user3 no like from Charles... how are you feeling after this?
user3: by the end of this season i'll be yelling i told you so from the rooftops
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 987,325 others
tagged: yourusername
redbullracing: The queen of COTA has arrived! 🇺🇸
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user11: ugh she's glowing
user12: her austin looks always slay
user3: CHARLES IS BACK IN THE LIKES! I REPEAT CHARLES IS BACK!!
user2: you weren't kidding when you said you didn't give up hope
maxverstappen1: you guys better not be plotting to get me in a cowboy hat
yourusername: pffffft why would we do that??
redbullracing: fine, we'll go put it away...again...
charles_leclerc: if you need someone to dress up, i know a guy
user13: omg stand up king, this isn't even y/n's insta
yourusername: @/charles_leclerc wdym "you know a guy" you couldn't even wear your hat properly
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liked by charles_leclerc, kimi.antonelli and 985,432 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, kimi.antonelli, jackdoohan, texasfootball
yourusername: hook 'em 🤘
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texaslonghorns: it was a pleasure to have you! same time next year?
yourusername: you know it! 🫡
texasfootball: thanks for the support! we'll have to get you suited up next year
yourusername: as long as i don't get tackled im yours
user14: awh y/n and charles are already starting to adopt the 2025 rookies
oscarpiastri: i do not need any more siblings
charles_leclerc: thx for showing me the joys of college football 🧡
yourusername: anytime charlie!!!
user15: CHARLIE?? girl WHAT?
user3: GUYS ITS HAPPENING!!
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 985,920 others
yourusername: P1 baby!! It's always special to race at home and being able to win it means even more! A weekend I'll forever remember ❤️🤍💙
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redbullracing: congrats y/n!! a win well deserved!
liked by yourusername
maxverstappen1: honor to be on that podium with you! let's run it back in vegas
yourusername: only in vegas??
maxverstappen: your ego is gonna get too big if you win everything else
user16: RAH RAHHHH AMERICA 🦅💥🦅💥🇺🇸
user17: U! S! A! 🇺🇸 U! S! A! 🇺🇸
charles_leclerc: congrats on the win!! now, drinks on me tonight?
user18: oh charles grew a pair
yourusername: @/charles_leclerc actually, i think i still owe you for monaco 😊
user3: 👀👀👀
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liked by user3, user2, and 45,832 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername
f1gossip: newest wag(s)?? charles and y/n were caught making out in a club in Austin. The two, along with the rest of the grid were there celebrating y/n's homecoming win. Cheers were heard from the other drivers as the two shared their moment.
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user19: oh. my. god.
user20: what in the romeo and juliet with a happy ending??
user2: @/user3 go ahead. say it.
user3: @/user2 I TOLD YOU SO. I TOLD YOU ALLLLL SO
user3: I DON'T LOOK CRAZY NOW. I KNEW IT
user21: what does @/redbullracing have to say about this
redbullracing: i'm just glad it isn't one of the mclaren boys mclaren: we wouldn't date you either its fine
want more? @coco-loco-nut wrote a sister story. Check it out!
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angelltheninth · 3 months ago
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Hi, I was wondering if you could do The Hazbin Cast x Reader, where they and Reader are having a romantic moment to themselves, and before anything more could happen, suddenly something or someone ruins the moment?
See... I both hate and love this trope. It's funny as hell, but frustrating as hell too.
Pairing: Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie, Alastor, Lucifer Morningstar, Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Adam, Vox, Valentino x Reader
Tags: fluff, kissing, interrupted romantic moment, canon typical violence, blood, suggestive, date night
A/N: I would punch anyone who interrupts me. And I'm not a violent person. So uh... these characters have an effect on me lmao.
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Charlie acts very calm unless either or both of you is in any state of undress. There’s no one more affectionate than her, displaying that in front of others is fine with her, she wants others to know of her love for you. It’s a different thing if it’s in a more intimate setting where she expected to have alone time with you. With a deep breath, some blushing and a groan she would try to get rid of distractions as soon as possible but at the same time. she would apologize to whoever interrupted you for shooing them away.
Vaggie has a blade at hand and it is promptly thrown next to the head of whoever interrupted you. Deep down she is a huge romantic and enjoys being romanced a lot, on the surface she is a badass fighter and she had an image to uphold with many people. There’s a lot of yelling and cursing, probably more than one threat of killing someone before she is back by your side, grumbling and murmuring to herself about forgetting to lock the damn door.
Alastor threatens to tear apart anyone who interrupts you, he puts that out as a warning because of how many times it’s happened in the past and he’s grown tired of being in a middle of a dance or cuddling and someone barging in wanting something. Usually he’s the one who walks in without knocking, now he’s getting to see how it feels. It doesn’t feel good, a full record scratch, even his shadow looks pissed off at even the slightest interruption.
Lucifer is in good spirits recently so even something as an interrupted date doesn’t get under his skin, if it was before it would have been a different story. Right now wile a little annoyed he can forgive and forget, after all no one saw anything too scandalous, although some would say that seeing the King of Hell in handcuffs is pretty scandalous by itself. As long as this doesn’t happen again it will be fine, although he knows you will tease him for it later.
Angel Dust obviously doesn’t mind it too much, on the surface at least, he is a porn star so getting watched is part of the job. That’s in the studio at least, at the Hotel he has the privacy he never had before, he likes it a lot actually, it’s almost too good to be true. Maybe he will occasionally flirt with or tease who ever interrupted you but in these four walls he is all yours and he won’t let the mood be spoiled by anyone, including his boss.
Husk groans and pulls your face close to his neck to help you hide your flushed face from the onlooker. How is this so perfectly timed, right when he wanted to take your clothes off and have a bit of fun with you someone just had to walk in. Well they’re really lucky he’s not as powerful as he once was otherwise they would be splattered all over the walls right now and would have to put themselves together while he makes out with you.
Sir Pentious hides his face behind his hat the moment someone enters his bedroom and sees you on top of him. Damn it, he told his Egg Boiz to make sure no one enters his bedroom, which also applies to them, until one of you steps out first, no matter what noises are heard from inside. As soon as you’re done and you think you’re gonna sleep he slithers out and starts working on plans for a new machine to make sure no one interrupts you ever again: a doorbell with a laser.
Adam yells at the person who interrupted the two of you because damn he’s been waiting the whole day to have you all to himself, all moody and pent up. This is his time with you, which means that no one gets to tell him he’s needed elsewhere before he’s done with you. He wraps you up with his wings if he sees you’re getting embaressed but really now, considering everything you do together getting watched shouldn’t be an issue.
Vox flinches when he gets a ping that someone’s crossed in front of his cameras which he set up just so no one catches the two of you in a compromising position. He sighs as he pulls away and covers you with a blanket, hiding your body from anyone’s view but his, which is funny because he has an insight into almost everyone else’s love life. For a demon like that he wants to keep his own affairs fairly private, at least the bedroom kind.
Valentino grins at the person who walks in on the two of you, he has zero shame regardless of your own level of shame he will brag about everything that happens and if someone sees it then even better. Besides he is the Overlord of the the porn industry, you knew things like this could happen when you began your relationship with him. He is so comfortable in fact that he will just keep going, kissing you occasionally to tell you that you’re doing a good job in front of a crowd.
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steddieas-shegoes · 5 months ago
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wanna shout it from the rooftops
for @steddie-week prompt 'secret relationship'
rated m | 1397 words | cw: implied sexual content | tags: secret relationship, established relationship, love confessions, making out, coming out
🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫
As soon as Dustin walked out the door, Eddie was backing Steve against the wall, lips on his neck, hands wandering across his arms and sides.
“God, I thought they’d never leave,” Steve gasped, throwing his head back as Eddie’s teeth bit into his collarbone. “Need you so fuckin’ bad, baby.”
“Looked so good in that apron. So unfair I couldn’t get my hands on you when you were making cookies for us,” Eddie groaned against his skin. “Wanna fuck you right here. Open you up on my tongue-“
“Sorry, Steve! Forgot my-“ Dustin’s voice stopped before Eddie could even register that he should pull away. “What the fuck!”
“Language!” Steve yelled as he shoved Eddie away from him, trying to fix his shirt and hair. Not that it would do any good; Dustin just got an eyeful already.
At least they weren’t naked. Yet.
“Please tell me you were fighting,” Dustin sounds distraught, which isn’t fair. He should’ve knocked.
“You spent months making me feel bad for not wanting to hang out with your new best friend and now you’re hoping we’re fighting?” Steve placed his hands on his hips, subtly trying to catch his breath and will his dick back to soft. “What about that looked like fighting to you? How have you not sat through sex ed yet?”
“You were having sex?!” Dustin’s voice cracked. “In the hall?!”
“Of my home!” Steve threw his arms up. “And no we weren’t having sex, but we were getting there.”
Eddie held his hands up, brain finally coming back online enough to intervene before things got out of hand.
“Okay. Dustin, why the hell are you even back?”
“I forgot my notebook.”
“And you decided to storm in here like it’s your house instead of knocking?” Steve was trying to take it easy, but everything was falling apart.
They’d kept their relationship a secret for nearly three months now. Robin didn’t even know.
Now that Dustin saw what he did, everyone would know and everyone would hate them and then Eddie would leave Steve for making everyone hate them and-
“Stevie!” Eddie’s hands were on his cheeks as Steve focused back in on what was going on. His breath was coming in short pants, and if Eddie wasn’t so close to him, he isn’t sure he’d be able to see him. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’ve gotta breathe for me.”
Breathe for Eddie. He could do that. He did that all the time.
He liked doing what Eddie told him to, he liked the praise that came when he did it, he liked being good. Breathing was easy.
He took a deep breath, then another, relaxing as Eddie smiled back at him encouragingly.
“That’s good, angel. Keep doing that. I’m gonna get Dustin’s notebook, okay?” Eddie didn’t seem like he wanted to leave Steve alone, but he didn’t have much of a choice right now.
“Okay.”
Eddie walked away, towards the study that they’d turned into a game room for the kids to hang out in, and Steve immediately felt the panic settle in his chest again.
“Steve?” Dustin asked, stepping closer to him.
“Yeah?”
“Why didn’t you tell any of us?” Dustin sounded hurt, looked hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was worried you’d hate me, or Eddie. That all of you would hate us for…for being different,” Steve looked down at his hands. “Didn’t wanna lose you.”
“But it’s okay if you’re gay, Steve. None of us would care!” Dustin exclaimed. “I just kinda thought you liked girls. Like Nancy.”
“I do. I just also like guys. I love Eddie,” Steve provided, relaxing slightly at Dustin’s words.
“You love him?” Dustin asked.
“You love me?” Eddie asked from the doorway, clutching Dustin’s notebook tight to his chest.
Steve wasn’t used to keeping his crushes and relationships a secret. He was used to holding hands in the movie theater and kissing a girl goodbye at her door. He was used to being able to show how much he loved someone without a filter.
But with Eddie, he’d held back. He had to in some ways, and they agreed it was best not to give anything away around anyone else for a while, but he’d hoped that Eddie saw how much he cared about him when they were alone.
“I do. I thought it was pretty obvious,” Steve stepped closer to Eddie, ignoring Dustin’s presence entirely. “I love you.”
Eddie threw Dustin’s notebook to the side, ignoring the ‘hey!’ that Dustin let out, and pulled Steve into his arms.
“Can’t believe you told Dustin before you told me,” Eddie laughed against his shoulder. “You know he can’t keep a secret.”
“Yeah, well. I love you enough to not care if everyone knows,” Steve said as he wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist, kissing the side of his head and lingering there for longer than he probably should in front of a guest. “Was gonna tell you tomorrow after our date.”
“You mean the super secret plans that you wouldn’t give me any hints about?” Eddie pulled away, searching Steve’s eyes. “Will you tell me them now?”
“Maybe when Dustin leaves.”
Both of them turned to Dustin, who was staring at them with a blank look.
“Dustin?” Eddie asked, snapping his fingers to get his attention.
“I’m gonna go,” Dustin said, still looking lost. “I won’t tell anyone.”
“Hey, man,” Eddie let go of Steve to walk towards Dustin. “We good?”
“Yeah! I just thought you guys barely even liked each other and you’re actually in love and having sex and I’m just trying to do the math.”
Steve snorted, but straightened out when Eddie glared at him.
“If you wanna talk about anything, you can stay. You seem kinda…out of it.”
“I’d rather not intrude right now,” Dustin said, gesturing to the way their hair and clothing was still a bit disheveled. “But you are gonna tell everyone soon, right? So I don’t have to keep it a secret?”
Eddie looked over at Steve, smiling when he gave him one nod in agreement.
“Yeah, dude. We’re gonna tell everyone at the next movie night,” Eddie said as he turned back to Dustin.
“Thank god!” He breathed out. “Then I’m leaving so you two can do…whatever it is you do.”
He didn’t wait for them to respond, rushing out the door, nearly forgetting his notebook again.
Eddie laughed as he slammed the door, his head falling onto Steve’s shoulder as they fell against the closest wall. Steve was holding Eddie up, laughing with him at the absurdity of being caught by their favorite, but most likely to tell everyone, kid.
“He’s gonna go tell everyone right now, you know that, right?” Steve gasped out between laughter.
“Oh yeah. We’ll be lucky to have another hour before they’re all showing up here with questions,” Eddie said breathlessly.
He pulled back to look at Steve, both of them flush with sudden relief that it was no longer a secret. He leaned in to kiss him once on the corner of his mouth, smiling when he felt Steve’s lips turn up.
“I love you,” Eddie whispered.
“Even though I made you wait to tell everyone?” Steve sounded unsure suddenly, like maybe Eddie would retract everything.
“You didn’t make me do anything, sweetheart. We both agreed to wait.” Eddie cupped his jaw and kissed him slow, much softer than where they’d left off before being interrupted.
No matter how much he enjoyed taking Steve apart, how much he liked seeing him covered in bite marks and bruises, he liked seeing him melt like this more.
“I love you,” Steve said against his lips, already letting Eddie take more of the weight he didn’t have leaning back against the wall. “Want you. Before they get here. Please.”
“How can I resist when you ask so nicely?” Eddie nipped at his bottom lip before pulling away. “Let’s go to your room this time. Don’t want any more interruptions.”
Steve nodded and led Eddie upstairs.
If the kids showed up in an hour, Eddie would make excuses for why Steve was asleep in bed, field their nosy questions, and ease some of the burden of coming out for Steve. If they didn’t, he’d get to keep showing Steve how much he loved him.
Over and over again. Until the whole world knew.
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lomlhwa · 10 months ago
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multiple??? (p.sh)
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pairing: snake hybrid!seonghwa x bunny hybrid!reader
preview: your best friend claims to have two dicks. there's no way though. ....right?
tags/warnings: fem reader, praise, seonghwa has two GIANT cocks, two cocks in one hole (someone sedate me), fingering, seonghwa is so sweet and careful, split tongue, squirting, oral (m.receiving), cum eating, bulge kink, size kink, pet names (bunny, noona), he's so desperate, unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), creampie, friends to lovers
trigger warnings: n/a
w/c: 1.4k
song recs for this fic: seven by jungkook, i was made for lovin' you by kiss
a/n: i need seonghwa thank you
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“seonghwa, there’s no way in hell i’m gonna believe that you have two cocks. it’s just not possible!” 
your best friend paces around your coffee table a few times before giving you a distressed look. 
“ask any girl i’ve hooked up with. they’ll know there’s more than one down there,” he runs his hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. his slitted eyes stare lasers into your head.
“i can’t believe you’re expecting me to accept that you have two cocks. are they both puny? is that why you have two? do snake hybrids have tiny dicks?” your tall ear twitches on the top of your head as he hisses at you. 
“if you must know, they’re both massive.” 
you tap your chin to come up with a solution to this dilemma.
“show me.” 
seonghwa’s jaw falls slack and he looks at you in pure shock. “SHOW YOU!?” he yells. he crosses his arms over his chest. he huffs dramatically.
“come on, drop them sweatpants and prove it. or…. are you lying?” you push his buttons to try and get him to do what you want.
in all honesty, you’re hoping he’s lying. you’ll never let him live that down and he knows it. 
“fuck it.”
seonghwa’s nimble fingers work at the drawstrings of his sweatpants. he hooks his fingers on the waistband of his pants and underwear. he takes a deep breath and looks up at you. “try not to be too shocked.” you scoff and roll your eyes. “i’m not gonna be sh-” you cut yourself off as he drops his pants to his ankles. your eyes widen and your jaw drops. they’re that big and they’re soft.
“holy fuck. you’re massive,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. 
seonghwa moves to pull his pants back up and you scramble to stop him. “one fuck couldn’t hurt our friendship, right?” you can feel your folds becoming slippery at the idea of taking him. when his forked tongue slips out of his mouth, he can smell it. 
“i-i guess not,” he gulps. he looks down at you sitting on the floor by his feet. his cocks grow hard and become bigger right in front of your eyes. your nose twitches as you look up at him. “please, let me taste them.”
he nods, sweat forming on his forehead. your head jerks forward and you take the top member into your mouth, the one under it rubs on your chin. his thighs tremble as you suck on him like it’s your last meal.
“ahh fuck noona,” he whimpers. your thighs clamp together in search of friction. you try and force his whole member down your throat but you physically can’t. it’s too big. 
you wrap your hands around his second member, stroking it at the same pace as your head. it twitches in your hand and seonghwa lets out high-pitched moans.
seonghwa gathers your hair into a ponytail in his hands and helps you move your head at a steady pace. you cough and choke around him, saliva pooling on the floor. you run your tongue over the veins in his cock, tracing the lines with spit. you speed up your hand to keep up with him rutting into your throat.
“gonna cum, please let me cum in your throat noona,” he whines at you. you let out a stifled giggle and nod to the best of your abilities. he fucks your mouth a little rougher as he reaches his high. 
both his cocks release at the same time. one in your throat, one all over your shirt. you let him finish riding out his high before pulling away from him. you look up at him with teary eyes and a wet chin.
“that’s insane,” you say before looking down at your shirt. you gather some of his cum on your fingers and lick them clean. his cocks twitch while he watches you eat his cum.
you move to get off the floor but seonghwa is quicker than you. he put you on all fours and gets behind you. he runs his fingers just above the waistband of your jeans. “can i, noona?” he asks so politely as he kisses your waist. 
“please hwa,” you nod, catching your bottom lip between your prominent front teeth. he’s quick to strip your bottom half, leaving your dripping core exposed. your hole opens and closes as it lets out globs of slick. 
“you smell so fucking good, noona,” seonghwa says as his tongue darts out multiple times. he can’t get enough of your scent. your puffy white tail twitches as he runs his hand over the soft fur. 
“gotta prep you,” he says before shoving two fingers into your hole at once. your body jerks forward, his long fingers digging deep into you. your pussy makes loud squelching sounds as he fucks you with his fingers.
“moreee,” you plead. luckily, he’s not one to deny you your pleasure. he shoves two more fingers into your hole, spreading you wide open. you kick your feet, your shins hitting the floor with loud thumps.
“please cum on my fingers, bunny. please, i know you need it. give it all to me,” your legs shake as he gives you encouragement. your chest rises and falls at a quick pace as you reach your high. your orgasm comes bursting out of you. you squirt all over his hand and arm, and a little on his shirt. 
“fuck fuck fuck,” you blubber as his fingers continue to work your orgasm out. finally, he takes his fingers out and they’re absolutely dripping with your juices. “you sound so pretty, noona.”
he rises on his knees to line up with your entrance. “you’re gonna take both at once. i promise you can do it, bunny,” seonghwa takes a deep breath. his heart is racing at the idea of his best friend taking both his cocks.
he squeezes both lengths in his hands and shoves them into your hole. you let out a strangled cry as he stretches you out. the pain is almost unbearable. you bury your face into your hands and try to breathe through it.
“that’s my girl. you’re doing so fucking well, noona. taking both my cocks. good fucking girl,” seonghwa pulls your head towards his so he can kiss you. he kisses you gently in contrast to the pain between your legs.
once he’s completely bottomed out, he stills so you can get used to it. your walls pulse around him, trying so desperately to adjust to his huge size. 
“move, move please hwa,” you mumble between kisses. he releases your lips and looks at you with so much love that you think he might explode. he pulls out almost all the way to the tips before slamming back into you. you stifle a scream as he jabs your g-spot. 
“you take me so well. you’re so perfect. fuck, you’re so good to me,” he sets a steady pace with his hips that makes you see stars. your hands grip the carpet with so much force that your knuckles turn white.
“let me see you, hwa. wanna see your pretty face,” you beg. he pulls out of you slowly before flipping you onto your back. he brushes your hair out of your face as he pushes back into your weeping hole. “hi pretty bunny. is this better?” he asks and you nod. 
he starts thrusting again and your thighs tremble as they wrap around his slim waist. he’s so beautiful while he fucks you. his face alone could make you cum. 
he brings a soft finger to your clit and circles it, sending new waves of electricity through you. your orgasm races towards you and you can tell he’s close too.
“noona, please, can i cum inside you? please, i need it,” he begs you. his hips are stuttering and you can tell he’s waiting for your permission. seonghwa looks at you with desperate and wild eyes, his orgasm becoming harder to maintain.
“yes, please, cum with me,” you nod, bringing him down to kiss you as you both cum. he moans and whines against your mouth as he dumps his loads into you. your walls milk him like your life depends on it.
“thank you, thank you, thank you, noona,” he mumbles as his orgasm fades. your bodies stick together as he detaches from you to pull out. he pulls both cocks out and watches his cum flood out of you. “holy shit.”
“i think this is definitely hurting our friendship cause i don’t think i could live with the idea of anyone else fucking you,” seonghwa admits as he watches you in awe. you smile at him.
“at least take me on a date before we put labels on.” you giggle.
“a date first? i just came inside you. we’re basically married.”
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© lomlhwa 2024
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fairlyang · 11 months ago
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Easy money I 🕷️
in which your roomie needs your help for a shoot
w/c: 3.1K
pairing: pornstaroomie!miguel x f!reader
tags: 18+ smut. tension, recording, groping, fingering, squirting
notes: all my readers loved this series and might’ve been peer pressured for a part 3 but I’m kinda excited to write it :D gonna post this rn and maybe part 2 tmrw, finish up all my part 3’s soon hopefully
part two
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I heard a knock on my door so I lowered my music from my airpods. "Come in!" I yell and turn to look at my laptop.
I hear the door open and Miguel clears his throat, I turn around to look at him and raise an eyebrow, "what's up?"
"I need something from you...." He says and takes a step inside.
"Like what?" I ask and he takes another step forward.
"You're gonna have to hear me out alright?" He says and I narrow my eyes at him.
"Okay..." I say and take my airpods off leaving them on my desk before turning back to look at him, giving him my full attention.
"I need you to step in for tonight's shoot..." he says and I burst out laughing.
"Are you fucking joking?" I say and shake my head. Is this man serious?
"I need your help Y/n..." he says nearing the edge of my bed and I groan.
"Why me?"
"The girl I was gonna shoot with canceled on me last minute and all the girls I usually shoot with are unavailable." He explains and I blink.
"Andddd you are already here...." He adds and i scoff.
"Not really sure I'd wanna expose myself like that Miguel." I say and stand up, walking over to my bed and plop down on it.
He sighs and sits on the edge of it and looks at me with pleading eyes. "Please? For me?"
"And the camera would hide your face, so unless you have any noticeable tattoos on your lower body then I think you'd be in the clear." He says and I bite my lip. Well there lies the problem...
I blink looking at him in silence making him scoff as he widens his eyes slightly then his lips tug into a smirk. "Where do you have it?" he asks and I feel my face heat up.
"Uh that one spot that's like lower, inner hip..." I say quietly and turn my gaze to my window.
There was really no reason for me to be acting like this- but that tattoo wasn't exactly somewhere that most people in my life know.... So maybe... just maybe...
"No face?" I ask and he nods.
"You know I don't even show my face-" he says with a small smile.
"I know but I don't know if it's different for the girls you record with." I say and shrug.
"It depends on them mainly, I'm not gonna force anyone I work with to show their face if they don't want to." He says softly and I nod slowly.
"And you wanna do this like right now?" I ask and he nods again.
"Jesus-" I mutter and run a hand over my hair.
"Up to you but you know I have a lot of loyal subscribers and make decent money off this..." he says and I chuckle.
"Because the girls love your voice and body." I say and he smirks making me regret my choice of words. And queue to him being obnoxious about it...
"I-"
"Think so huh?" he teases in a cocky tone making me groan.
"Fuck off." I say and grab a random stuffed animal from my bed and throw it at his face.
He laughs and holds it, it was so small compared to his hands. Oh god-
I mean of fucking course I've noticed how fine he is- it was the first thing I noticed when I was interviewing people to be my roommate, he was the hottest man that came in needing a place to stay.
I didn't just decide on him because he was hot but because he seemed chill and not like someone that would murder me in my sleep.
But I never made a move on him, neither did he. We've just always had some type of tension that neither of us ever paid attention to... I guess until now..
"So what exactly did you plan to shoot?" I ask and let out a sigh.
He grins and scoots closer now sitting by my legs as they were stretched out. "I was thinking fingering."
I nod and bite my lip, "hmm.."
"Up to you I won't force you but just think of the fact that you'd be getting paid to get fingered." He says and I snicker.
Sounds like easy money...
And I'd get an orgasm out of it...
"50% of whatever the video makes will go to you." He says and I bite my lip.
"You're really laying it on thick there Miguel... you that desperate?" I tease and he playfully rolls his eyes.
"Yeah actually, so just let me know within the next hour before I just decide to do a solo vid." He says and stands up.
I sigh and nod, "I'll... think about it...." He smirks and gives me a wink before opening the door and walking out, closing it behind him.
I sigh and lay down on my bed, should I?
I mean there's no denying the fact that I always listen in when he has someone over to record... or even checked out a few of his videos on pornhub...
maybe even possibly masturbated to a few of his audios... or the ones where he fucks himself with a fleshlight...
Letting out those incredible moans for everyone's very own pleasure, how selfless.
But he wanted to record for onlyfans which was for the ones who specifically pay to view his content, which apparently was a lot and the thought alone was a little nerve wrecking.
What if someone I've been with before recognized my tattoo and tells people I know? I'd be fucking done for and I'd just die on the spot of pure embarrassment.
But the money- how could I say no to that kind of money? Especially when seeing the views just his previews on pornhub get-
I'd be so fucking stupid to pass this opportunity...
Fuck it.
I get up from my bed and walk to my door quickly opening it before stepping out onto the hallway. I then do the walk of shame and walk to Miguel's room.
I made my mind up a little too fast god I'm not gonna hear the end of this from him-
I step in front of his door and knock twice before hearing a laugh. I groan and cross my arms across my chest, patiently waiting for him.
He opens the door with a wide smile but before I could even say a word my eyes trailed down his chest then to his abdomen. A small happy trail going down caught my eye as a pair of grey sweatpants hugged his hips perfectly.
God he looked so good...
Wait- how the fuck did he change so fast?
"Did you just assume I was going to say yes?" I ask, quickly looking up at him.
He shrugs and opens his door wide, motioning for me to step inside. I roll my eyes but walk in nonetheless, seeing that he was indeed very desperate for this. And apparently eager.
"I knew it'd be something hard for you to say no to." He says and shrugs, closing the door behind him.
"And I had an idea for more anonymity..." he says and walks past me.
He walks over to his desk and picks up two masks, robber masks. "We could put these on." He says and throws me a pink one.
I catch it and look down at it, cute.
"Just casually had these huh?" I mutter and play with it between my fingertips.
It only had three holes, obviously for the eyes and mouth. It honestly didn't shock me too much that he had these especially considering he didn't make content showing his face at all.
"Alright ready?"
"Where are we doing this? Should I change? Should I put makeup on-"
"Calm down-" he says and laughs, shaking his head at my sudden worries.
"We're doing this in my bathroom, I already set the camera and lights up." He explains and I nod.
"As for your clothes if you want I can give you one of my shirts and you can just leave your panties on." He says looking me up and down.
I wearing a SZA shirt with Cookie Monster pajama pants.... Yeah I definitely could've changed but maybe got a tiny bit excited..
He walked over to his dresser and picked the first one of top and then tossed it over to me. I caught it and unfold it to reveal a Nirvana tee. I shrug and walk over to his bathroom with him right on my tail.
I walk in then stop and quickly turn around to point a finger at him, "you're waiting- you can wait a few more minutes there O'Hara." He chuckles and backs up letting me close the door.
I quickly take off my tee shirt and put the one he gave me on. I leave my shirt on the sink then I slip out of my pj pants and realize it wasn't a big deal if he watched because he was going to see it all right now anyway.....
I look in the mirror and take a deep breath, I was really going to do this.... We were really going to do this...
I then take notice of the ring light and tripod that were right in front me. This was getting so real so fast and it was making me more nervous than I expected.
I breathe in then breathe out. I do it a couple more times and feel some nerves leave my body but some still lingering around.
I turn around and walk towards the door, I open it wide and Miguel stands up from his bed and walks over. "Finally." He teased and I chuckle.
"My bad." I mutter, turning back around and walk to the sink, leaning against it as Miguel walks in.
"You're good, don't worry it'll be fine." He reassured and gives me a small smile.
He walks over to his tripod and sets his phone on it and goes to the camera. He turns to me and motions for me to stand in front of the camera. I nod and do so, leaning against the seat with my nerves growing every second.
"Alright we're gonna start, if you need me to stop at any given moment just tap my thigh or anywhere twice okay?" He says and I nod.
"Audibly please?" He says and I chuckle.
"Yes I understand."
"Okay good." He says and throws me the pink robber mask.
I move all my hair to my back then slip it on. I fix the holes to align to my mouth and eyes then see Miguel doing the same. "This'll be fun." He mutters with a slight smirk on his face then he presses the button to record.
He walks over to me and gently puts his hands on my cheeks then leans in. I lean up and he leans down removing the last amount of space between us and crashes his lips onto mine. I kiss back and put a hand to his jaw and the other on his neck.
I then feel his hands slide down my body, at first staying at my waist, gripping my skin softly through the shirt until his hands go lower and his fingertips are playing with the hem of his shirt, near my ass.
He slid his tongue in my mouth and continues toying w his shirt, bringing it up slowly as our tongues fight for dominance but I stood no chance. Suddenly I feel a hard smack against my ass making me moan in his mouth.
He smiles and pulls away just to go down and start leaving open mouthed kisses on my neck. I sigh and tilt my head to the side as he slightly moves the mask to leave a mark where he wanted. He sucked on my skin then licked it softly before leaving a kiss on it.
I smile and grab his head, making sure he stayed in place as he kept playing with the skirt. He pulls away again and this time bringing the hem of the shirt up, slowly. He turns me around slowly so my behind is what the camera will see and lifts the shirt completely over my ass.
Another smack.
Then to the other cheek.
Another smack on each one, definitely already making them red and it seemed like he wanted to keep going because of the noises that were leaving his mouth. Such delicious groans.
He keeps pulling it up, exposing my entire bare back to the camera but my tits to him. He quickly brings it up and over my head, throwing it on the floor then quickly cups my tits and squeezes.
I gasp when he pinches both nipples then quickly turns me around so my ass was on his already hard bulge. His hands continue squeezing and I felt purely at bliss, heaven on earth even.
I lay my head back against his chest which makes him lean down and leave a kiss on my neck then suck gently on the skin as his hands continued kneading my tits.
His right hand then lets go of my boob and slowly trails down my stomach, as if easing me in, making me feel comfortable first. I grab on to his left arm and try to stand still, I already felt like I was going to go crazy and maybe fall over.
My fucking roommate was doing this- and he had such a good hand for these things so this was gonna be perfect.
His hand goes between my legs, gently rubbing my pussy through my panties. I spread my legs to help him out when he starts rubbing circles on my clit. I moan and buck my hips forward, already wanting more.
And he gives me just that, he starts going faster and I could feel my wetness seeping through the fabric of my little panties. "Miguel-"
He hums then rubs along my slit, my arousal already able to soak his fingers. How embarrassing.
He then removed his fingers making me whine until he pulls my panties down and lets them slide off my legs. I step out of them and kick them farther out, out of shot.
I spread my legs again and he doesn't hesitate to immediately start rubbing my clit again, not caring to ease me in anymore. He moans into my ear and dips his fingers on to my folds, my wetness enveloping them as he teases my hole making me grip harder onto his arm.
He moved that arm to grip on to my waist while I still held on to it for dear life. I couldn't trust myself to stand I knew I'd just end up falling and he was a big boy, he could handle me.
He then slid a finger in, slow at first until he slammed it in without warning. I gasped and clung on to his arm. He then started pumping in and out, deep and slow.
He started going faster, hitting deeper now until he fully stopped and added a second finger in. He started moving again, going faster and harder, making me a moaning mess as I looked down to watch in awe.
"Look how easy you're taking me baby." He murmurs in my ear and I couldn't help the whimper that came out of me.
"Feels so good-" I moan and he hums, pumping them even faster.
I felt myself clench against his fingers and listen to how fucking soaked I am, he barely even touched me..
"Rub your clit for me." He whispers and I nod, immediately bringing my right hand down to rub my clit in fast circles.
I moan out for him and he coos dirty little nothings into my ear as he starts curling his fingers up and hitting that sweet spot every time.
I was starting to feel my orgasm creep in already which had me shocked but then realized who was the one doing this to me...
"Fuck- Miguel-" I moan and lay my head back against him, he leans down to kiss my cheek oh so sweetly.
He then brings his open hand and starts pinching my left nipple, I felt my legs shake as he continued and I was slowly down because I was feeling so fucking close.
"Don't stop baby, be a good girl and keep rubbing that clit until you cum for me sweet girl." He murmurs and I whimper, clenching against his fingers as I rub my clit faster feeling that knot in my stomach about to burst.
"Miguel please- so cl-"
I dig my nails into his arms making him groan but he didn't say to stop. I felt my eyes growing hazier by the second and my thighs were trembling more and more by the second.
Suddenly I see white, I cry out and feel my climax crash and take over my body. I closed my eyes and almost fell to my knees, had Miguel strong arm not held me. My legs were trembling and Miguel's fingers were still inside, slowly fucking me through my orgasm.
I held onto him for dear life and start to calm my breathing down as I open my eyes, then quickly widening in pure shock, I had squirted all over the place.
I gasp and move my hand away from my clit, I stood silent, still in Miguel's arms in pure embarrassment. Squirting always felt so embarrassing, especially now because I didn't even mean to-
"That was probably the most perfect shoot I've done thus far." Miguel says making me scoff.
"I'm being so serious." He says finally taking his fingers out of me slowly and brings it up to his lips.
I tilt my head and look up, watching as he sucks on his fingers covered in my juices. Holy fuck.
I blink watching him as if in a trance, then he looks me directly in my eyes making me subconsciously squeeze my thighs together.
He takes them out with a plop and gives me a wide grin, "sorry but we have to do that again in the future...."
I laugh and look down embarrassed, I shrug and straighten up, "I guess we'll have to see if the people liked it..."
"I'm sure they will." He says and laughs.
"Let's get ya cleaned up then maybe we can watch a movie, if you'd like." He suggests and I look up at him and nod.
"That'd be perfect."
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godmadeaterribleerror · 4 months ago
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Chapter 6 - I've Been Searching for a Fortified Defense
Series Masterlist
Author's Note: As we begin our first 5-digit word count chapter (I can’t be stopped, someone take away my keyboard) and I find a stride of about two chapters per week, I want to say that: A) I fully intend on finishing this story. I plotted out the whole thing before I started, have made a few adjustments given the pacing I’ve done so far, and with how it’s broken down right now we’ll reach the end in 2-3 months. B) Thank y’all from the bottom of my heart for reading! If you have theories or thoughts or feedback please don’t hesitate to share them! I love hearing what you think of the plot and the characters, and every interaction means the world to me. Whether you’re only reading or leaving comments as well, thank you so damn much. I’ll see you next chapter (it’s gonna be a doozy) <3
Chapter Title from Bells in Santa Fe by Halsey.
Word Count: 11.2k
Chapter Summary/Warnings: You throw a punch, and Phase One: Operation Quick and Bald goes. Not well, but it goes. Contains usual warnings.
Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, fluff, angst
Read on A03!
Chapter 5 - Chapter 7
Taglist: @lordofthunderthr @kritara
Want to be tagged? Just ask!
Ben dodged the third punch in a row, grinning widely right up until the fourth one landed on his face.
“Ha!” She yelled, drawing back to shake her first out. “Take that, you weirdly fast man.”
Ben rolled his eyes, rubbing his face lightly. It hadn’t hurt—he’d barely even felt it—but She was being real fucking smug for someone who’d only just landed a hit after a damn week of attempting to do so.
“Yeah, sure, Sunshine. Keep it the fuck up, and at this rate it’ll only take you another couple thousand years to surpass Muhammad Ali.”
She raised her brows at Ben, pausing with a tilt of her head. “You were a fan of Muhammad Ali?”
He nodded, giving her a scrunched look of annoyance. “I’m a fucking American, and there ain’t nothing more red-blooded American than punching commies like that son of a bitch did.”
“What?”
“When he fought the Russian, and won. That’s fucking American.”
“Ben, you’re thinking of the plot of Rocky IV.”
“No, Muhammad Ali fought that Russian pussy and kicked his fucking ass.”
“No, Sylvester Stallone fought the Russian pussy and kicked his fucking ass. In a movie.” She laughed to herself. “I’m shocked you even saw Rocky IV, let alone were so impacted by it to let the plot override your knowledge of a real life person.”
“Shut up,” Ben grunted, moving his hands back to a defensive stance. She fucking always won these stupid arguments, and Ben couldn’t actually prove it, but he knew She was changing the fucking internet she loved so damn much to match her claims. “Go again.”
“Someone missed nap time.” She muttered under her breath, even though she knew Ben could fucking hear her, but put her fists up anyways. “Can this be the last one? I’m hungry.”
Instead of answering, Ben just launched himself at her, and She jumped to the side with a yelp.
“What the fuck, Ben!”
He turned and threw another punch, feeling pleased at the smooth way she ducked away and met it with a punch of her own. Her face had lost the pissy shock, laser-sharp concentration replacing it. Her eyes were narrowed, darting across Ben as he moved, her bobbing and weaving wasn’t entirely shit, and her heart was controlled with her breathing. She landed her second punch, this one on his shoulder, and Ben laughed, delivering one of his own.
“Christ, Sunshine, you’re fucking weak.” He laughed, examining Her carefully for any loss of control.
“I’ll kill you with my bare hands, Bitch.” She growled, lunging forward and grunting in frustration as Ben dodged with ease.
“That’s my line.” He taunted. “And you couldn’t even kill a man with an assault rifle if he was a fucking foot away from you.”
“Blow me.”
“I’ve been fucking trying- Fuck!” She landed her third punch, and it burned. Ben reached to touch where she’d hit and felt the skin mending across his jaw.
She was grinning in a wide, toothy, satisfied way. “Suck on that, cunt.”
“Bitch,” he muttered, looking down at his hand to see it raw and red from the contact with his face, with some of his fucking hair stuck to it.
“Did you burn off my fucking beard!” His head shot up to see a half-sheepish, half-amused look on her face, lips curled and eyes wide.
“Oops.”
He yelled her name, and she had the fucking nerve to giggle. “We said no fucking powers!”
“I forgot.” She said lamely, her face less and less apologetic by the second, giggling again as she offered some of the most insincere comfort Ben had ever heard. “It’s not even that noticeable! You look just as good as before!”
His anger faded, and he gave Her a cocky smirk, raising his brows. “You think I look good, Sunshine?”
“I’m being nice. Don’t ruin it.” She muttered, her face adorably flushed, and Ben didn’t miss the skip of her heart.
“Whatever keeps you up at night.”
“That’s not the phrase.”
He winked. “I know.”
She scoffed and turned away, but not before Ben could see the slight smile on her lips. “I’m going to shower, I’ll meet you in the living room in fifteen. If you’re not there, with food, I’m eating the TV.”
Ben frowned, calling after Her figure moving down the hall. “Has the TV been edible this whole fucking time and you didn’t fucking tell me?!”
Her laughter echoed back down the hall. "You're real fucking gullible, grampa!"
“You know I can’t fucking tell when you’re joking about that shit, you bitch!”
“Fourteen minutes, cunt!”
“How the fuck am I supposed to make food in fourteen minutes?!”
“You’re a big boy, you’ll figure it out!”
Grumbling a string of cusses Ben hoped She could fucking feel, Ben grabbed a cup of instant noodles and threw them in the microwave, wondering if She would notice if he spit in hers. After pulling them out, grabbing two spoons from the counter that he almost immediately bent, spilling one of the cups as he noticed the damaged utensils, spilling the other when he noticed the first spill, and having to start the whole damned fucking thing over, Ben made his way to drop on the couch next to where She sat, wet hair clinging to her pretty face.
“Heard a lot of swearing, Pretty Boy, everything ok?”
He grunted, shoving Her noodles against her chest and letting go, not giving a fuck if she had a grip on them. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Just asking a question,” he could hear her shit-eating grin. “Thought it was a free country. Thought a patriot like you would appreciate me exercising my first amendment right.”
“That protects you from the government, not me.” Ben parroted back the words She had yelled at him after he’d made the apparently fucking fatal mistake of saying “first amendment right” in her presence.
She chuckled, her voice teasing. “Didn’t know you were capable of retaining information about something other than yourself.”
“Well, your tits were looking great while you were bitching. It helped.” He grabbed the remote, raising it to the TV. “I made food. I’m picking what we watch.”
“If you pick Game of Thrones so you can watch the sex scenes again, I’m figuring out a way to kill myself and doing it on your bed.”
“Whatever gets you in my bed, Sunshine.” He winked. “And I’m invested in the fucking plot, it’s not just the sex scenes.”
“It’s mostly the sex scenes.” She said, not even flinching at his flirtation. “Just go watch porn. See how fast you can break the fleshlights. If you do all three in ten minutes, Butcher owes me twenty dollars.”
Ben scowled, not enjoying that She’d apparently been making fucking bets with Butcher about his masturbation. “I can last longer than ten fucking minutes, I’m not a fucking pussy.”
“Prove it.”
He grinned widely at Her as her face flushed adorably, her own phrasing catching up with her head. “I’d be honored, Sunshine.”
“You’re like a fucking rabbit in heat.” She muttered. “And if you do last longer than ten, Hughie gets the money, so keep that in mind when you’re jerking it to dragon boobs after I go to bed.”
“The dragons don’t have any fucking boobs, dumbass, the fucking hot lady queens do.” Ben said smugly, ignoring her eye roll. “And I would ‘jerk it’ in the privacy of my room, but someone won’t give me a fucking phone.”
“Yeah, the CIA. I’d actually back you up with Mallory, Pretty Boy. I think giving you a phone would be really entertaining.”
“I don’t need your fucking help.” He snapped, and she laughed.
“Can’t rely on just a handsome face to convince her that you somehow deserve the internet.”
“Handsome face?” He grinned at her, and only the slight stutter of her heart told Ben she heard him.
She made a mock face of thought. “Maybe if we suggested parental controls…”
“I’ll kill you, bitch.”
“I’ll make you the most useless and sad eunuch to ever grace this sorry planet, cunt.”
Ben glared at Her, and she reached over his arm to press play on the remote.
Most of the days since the failed Sister Sage mission had been like this. She and Ben got up, trained, ate, trained more, and then watched TV with dinner until She retreated to her room and Ben fought sleep for the rest of the night, alone. Neither of them mentioned how he’d saved her, or how She had started a habit of slapping Ben awake—he was pretty fucking certain that at this point she had figured out another way to break through the nightmares but was purposely choosing to fucking hit him instead—before she’d sit next to him for an hour or two after. Ben liked this unspoken arrangement, and liked even more how She had silently agreed to it. Just because he didn’t actively hate Her right now didn’t mean he was about become a sniveling pussy mess about feelings. Even if the lack of active hatred had morphed into something pulsing in his chest that he didn’t understand, and didn't fucking want to. Making Her instant noodles and not killing her when she lied to him for fun or called him “Pretty Boy” was as far as Ben would bend.
It had been mostly radio silence from the Boys, though Butcher and Cocksucker had visited two days after they’d dropped Her and Ben back at the safe house, as Cocksucker had managed to break his arm. There had been a long, incredibly boring and poorly told story as to how the injury had occurred, involving a supe, Nikola Tesla and something called a Cybertruck, but Ben had pretty much tuned out the entire fucking conversation once he realized they weren’t here for him at all. The only thing that had kept him from retreating to his room for the duration of the visit was the small falter in Her heart when she touched Cocksucker, her jaw clenched as Ben and Butcher watched Cocksucker’s arm heal into place in a fucking disgusting manner.
When She’d let go, she’d given Ben a weird fucking look with tight lips and sad eyes that he'd only seen before on Cocksucker. It had passed quickly, her face returning to apathetic and bored, her eyes regaining the sharp amusement they usually held, but fuck it had confused him. She and Butcher had started talking about missions and planning and other mind-numbing shit, Cocksucker shaking out his arm as if he didn’t trust that it was healed, and Ben had needed to piss and gone to do just that. Before he’d left, he’d caught Her a look of where the hell are you’d going, he’d grinned back with a wink of why, you want to join me?, and she’d rolled her eyes and returned her attention to Butcher. When he’d returned, Butcher and Cocksucker had left and She was glaring at him, arms across her chest.
“Are you an idiot, or just a dick?” She’d snapped.
He’d frowned at Her, trying to figure out what had made her all fucking bitchy. As far as Ben was concerned, he’d been fucking amazing, only calling Butcher a pussy twice and managing to refrain from talking to Cocksucker at all. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Butcher told me we’re moving on operation Quick and Bald soon. He told me you knew. Why didn’t you fucking tell me?!”
“Oh,” Ben had rolled his eyes. “I forgot.”
“You forgot?”
He’d shrugged. “Well, you fucking know now, so get over it. And what kind of fucking shit codename is Quick and Bald?”
“Fuck you, it’s an accurate and descriptive name.”
“How the fuck could that be ‘accurate and descriptive’?”
“Because two key factors of this phase of my plan are the quick and the bald.”
“Your plan?”
“Yeah, my fucking plan. That I fucking deserved to know the status of.” She’d scowled. “Butcher says it’s almost ready. He’ll get us in two days once it’s in place.”
That had been five days ago. Starlight and Cocksucker had dropped in after two days, full of apologies and updates that Ben didn’t give a fuck about, and when he’d asked Her for more information about the plan, she’d told him to “suck her dick and shove his questions up his ass until they reached his brain.”
So Ben still had no fucking clue what Quick and Bald was about.
Aside from Her lingering anger at him for apparently having the fucking nerve to ask questions about the jobs he had to do—an opinion he had made the mistake of voicing, leading the unwelcome lesson on the first amendment—She was being impossibly easy to talk to, and Ben was getting dangerously close to not only enjoying her company, but finding her comfortable. Part of him was hoping she’d say something very, very soon that would allow him to grip onto hatred, or at least indifference, for the rest of his time in this stupid fucking situation.
Instead, in a way that made Ben think God himself was out to fucking get him, he’d started to tell her things. Fucking voluntarily.
One of those nights where sleep had gripped his head and pulled him under, struggling and roaring, he’d woken up once more from only the force and sting of her hand across his face. She’d sat next to him again, and he’d asked her more questions about before, all of which she’d answered with a faraway, insufferably sad look in her eyes.
“How many siblings did you fucking have again?” He’d pressed once.
“Four,” She’d responded, a wistful smile on her face. “Two brothers, two sisters. All younger.”
“Your parents had four more kids after you? What, were you that fucking annoying they needed to try again four fucking times?”
“No, I was just so adorable they needed to try and recreate my perfection. Once they realized that was impossible, they gave up.” She’d smirked, and Ben hated that somehow he didn’t doubt her words. “Well,” she’d mused to herself. “That and they fell violently out of love with each other.”
“Violently?” He’d made a face, and she’d nodded solemnly.
“I shielded my siblings from a lot of flying plates.”
Ben found another thing to hate. Her parents, and how fucking sad she looked. “You miss them?”
“My parents?” She’d snorted. “I miss my dad. I hope my mom gets her head popped.”
He’d coughed to cover a laugh. “No, you fucking smartass. Your siblings.”
Her answer was quick and soft. “Every fucking day.”
Ben had grunted, watching the distance return to her face, and before he could stop himself, he was talking. “I didn’t have any siblings.”
Before he could curse himself out and try to distract Her with something else, she had been looking back at him with wide, focused eyes. “Do you wish you did?”
“I never thought about it,” he’d muttered. “My father was such a fucking dick I’m surprised he even got my mother to marry him, let alone fucking have one kid. I think he hated me enough to never fucking risk it again.”
“Risk it?” She’d kept her voice impossibly gentle as she’d asked, and it made his skin crawl all weird.
“I was the biggest fucking regret of his life. If he could go back and stop me from happening in the first place, make my mother flush me out, he wouldn’t have fucking hesitated.”
She’d paused, and a very fucking stupid part of Ben had thought she was going to let the conversation go. Of course, he should’ve fucking known by now that She damn well wouldn’t.
“What was your mom like?”
He hadn’t fucking expected that, and it had shocked him enough to answer. “Kind. Too kind for my father, he saw it as fucking weakness and told her all the fucking time. But she was so fucking kind.” He took a heavy breath. “She was full of love, and I have no fucking clue how. It was fucking stupid, all her love, even for my piece of shit father. He’d yell at her and threaten her and mock her, but she still fucking loved him. She fucking loved everything.”
Her voice was still gentle from beside him. “Like what?”
“Animals. Cats specifically. My father had all these fucking hunting dogs he loved more than anything, certainly more than me, and the only good thing he ever fucking did was trade one to get her a cat. It was massive, fluffy and gray, and it was a fucking asshole to everyone but her. It ate like a fucking elephant, shed like a whore in summer, but she loved it so fucking much.” At this point Ben had really wished he would shut the fuck up, but he couldn’t, and he was going to have to figure out a way to blame Her for that later. “She loved art. Painting. She tried to get me to love it too, even though I could barely draw a fucking worm. But I’d try, and she’d frame all my stupid, shitty drawings and hang them around the house until my father saw them and threw them in the trash. She loved music but couldn’t carry a tune if her life fucking depended on it. They’d go to the opera because my father would donate a ton for the publicity, and she’d come back all damn giddy. I’d wait up, just because she was fucking contagious when she was that happy. Even my father felt it, enough to just go straight to bed and not kick my ass for still being awake. She was fucking smart, too. Real fucking smart. My father would joke he wished she was a man, because then her brain would be useful. She would’ve fucking jumped for joy if she saw the world now. Met a fucking woman doctor.” He paused, looking back down at Her beside him. She hadn’t looked away from him, and there was none of the pity he’d expected to see on her face. It was just open, listening intently to his words with no malice or trickery behind her eyes.
“She sounds amazing.” She’d said softly, a small smile he didn’t understand on her face. “And your dad sounds like a fucking cunt.”
Ben had chuckled in surprise. “Fucking understatement of the damn year, Sunshine. That pussy would’ve tried to pry your degree from your fucking hands.”
“Let him try, I’d burn his fucking face off and laugh while I did it.”
“What were you even going to fucking do with a PhD in archeology?" He’d asked, and she’d huffed a small laugh.
“Anthropology, Pretty Boy. But nice guess.” She corrected. “And I’m honestly not sure. I’d quite literarily only just actually received the degree before everything… changed.” She’d sighed. “I had a few job offers, but mostly in academia and business. What I wanted was to work with nonprofits to help people.”
“Help people?” He’d given her a disbelieving stare. “With a prissy fucking degree?”
“Yeah, dickwad. Help people. I was a cultural anthropologist. I specialized in the evolution of cultures and ways to combat systemic cultural oppression.”
He’d stared at Her blankly. “You’re going to have to take down the fucking fancy talk by seven, Sunshine.”
“I studied how the government and culture is mean to people on purpose, and how to make them stop being mean.” She’d said flatly.
“Oh.” He’d rolled his eyes at the dirty look she was giving him. “Oh, fuck off. It wasn’t that painful to say.”
“Yes, it was.” She’d mumbled, narrowing her eyes at him. “You’re not going to argue with me?”
“What’s there to fucking argue about?”
“I just called your beloved country an ‘oppressive system’.” She’d watched him wearily, but her heart remained steady. “Doesn’t it mar your refined American nationalism?”
“Do you fucking want me to be mad?” Ben had asked, raising his brows at her. “I can definitely find it in me, that’s not a fucking issue. But usually when we fight about this shit, you get all bitchy and don’t talk to me for way too fucking long.”
“I mean, no, I don’t want you to get mad…” She’d frowned, examining him with yet another fucking confusing look. “Does it really bother you when I ignore you?”
“No.” He’d snapped quickly. “It’s just annoying, and I don’t like having to fucking deal with it.”
She’d hummed with an amused smile on her face, and the conversation had moved on to something else. Ben had shoved down the way it had been so easy to talk about his mother with her, until it was somewhere in his gut and he didn’t have to think about the way the feeling rolled around inside him.
And he refused to even acknowledge how when She would smile now, he’d have to fight himself to not do the same.
———-
It had been a week since the Sage incident, a week since Ben had saved your life—you'd locked everything about that particular action from what you thought of it to how it made you feel somewhere deep in your chest—and you were starting to lose your mind a little bit. When Annie and Hughie had stopped by with nervous words about delays in your meticulously prepared and incredibly well-detailed plan, you’d been willing to wait another day, maybe two, before executing operation Quick and Bald. Now it had been three days, burgeoning on four, and you were worryingly close to leaving the safe house just to yell at Butcher. Ben could stay here, or follow you and help you beat Butcher up for all you cared. Which was, admittedly, worrying within itself. Especially because the whole point of operation Quick and Bald was to take preventative measures against Ben’s needless brutality.
Over a month ago, right after you’d moved into the safe house and when you had been ready to throttle Ben’s neck every waking moment—an urge that hadn’t entirely waned, but was now undercut with a weirder, stronger urge to be near him without any murderous intent—you’d spent the hours quarantined in your room perfecting your plan to get Ryan Butcher the fuck out of dodge. When they’d come to pick you and Ben up for the whole Neuman test, you’d left it in the van for Butcher to find, and had been waiting since for him to set up the dominoes so you could knock them over.
At this point, you’d be happy with not even “dominos to knock over” and just “one singular domino to throw at someone." You had begun to develop a habit of staring down the hall from the living room, trying to will someone to appear with at least a fucking update. So far this strategy was not working, and had apparently started to garner attention.
Sitting on the couch, the TV white noise in the background and noodles in your hand cold and forgotten, you felt a foreign rush of oddly tight concern run through your body. You frowned, heard your name from next to you, and turned to find that Ben had been poking your arm.
“Are you fucking alive?” He grunted, watching you with a frown.
“Literally? Yes.” You answered with a tight smile. “You have noodles on your face.”
He reached up to feel for them, not looking away from you. “What the fuck do you mean literally? How can you be fucking metaphorically alive?”
“Mind-body problem, Pretty Boy. And it’s not metaphorically, it’s philosophically.” You lean back, grinning.
“You’re a real fucking pretentious bitch sometimes.” He grumbled, still trying to find the food stuck to his beard.
“If you made me a shirt that said that, I’d wear it.”
“I’m not going to fucking make you a shirt, Sunshine. You couldn’t make me learn to fucking sow with a gun to my head.”
“Because the gun wouldn’t affect you at all?” You pointed to your own chin, mirroring where the noodle was caught.
He sneered. “Because I’m not a pussy.” His hand found the stray piece of his dinner, and he pulled it from his jaw.
“Big words from the man who took two tries to make me instant ramen- hey!” A wet noodle hits you in the face.
“Ramen your ungrateful ass didn’t even fucking eat.” Ben gave a pointed look at the abandoned cup in your hands, the food inside having long lost any heat. “Don’t fucking test me, or I’ll actually spit in your food next time.”
“Drama queen,” you muttered, peeking back at the door. “Like you don’t already do that.”
“I fight the urge to be a fucking bitch, unlike certain women.”
You nod absentmindedly. “Butcher.”
Ben snorted behind you, and a smile you hoped he didn’t see crept onto your face.
“Yeah, sure Sunshine.” His attention returned to the TV, and you did your best to not stare down the hall, trying to ignore the hope that the door now shrouded in darkness would open.
A successful effort that made you jump out of your seat when it did just that with an aggressive bang.
Ben was faster than you, practically launching himself over the sofa and bolting down the hall, a dangerous look of alarm the last thing you saw on his face before he was gone from the room.
“Shit, no! It’s me!” You heard a high-pitched shout from the shadows of the entrance. “It’s Hughie!”
“What the fuck are you doing here?!” You heard Ben’s growl of a response.
Butcher’s voice drawled from the shadows. “Oi, take a deep fucking breath and put the bloody kid down.” 
“Someone fucking answer me first.”
“Put him down, Soldier Boy, before we knock your ancient ass the fuck out.” The impatient, clipped words of MM responded, almost drowned out by Frenchie's shout.
“Can someone turn on the fucking lights? It is as dark as Monsieur Butcher’s heart and asshole!” 
“I- I don’t feel good.” Hughie’s voice stuttered.
“Ben!” You flicked on the hallway sconces, illuminating a scene of Ben’s full body weight pressing Hughie to the wall, Butcher and MM trying with practically negative success to pry him off, and Kimiko gripping one of Frenchie’s arms as his other groped around for direction. You let out a very long, very loud sigh. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“It’s fucking late,” he snapped, not letting Hughie go. “They shouldn’t be here so fucking late.”
“This ain’t your real house, Mate.” Butcher grunted, still trying to move Ben. “We can be here whenever we bloody well please.”
Hughie wheezed out your name in a pleading tone. “Your plan is ready. We’re here to- fuck- we’re here to get you.”
That got you moving, crossing to the end of the hall in quick, frantic steps. “It’s ready? Are you sure?” Hughie gave a weak nod, and you rolled your eyes, shoving Ben shoulder. “Put him down, dumbass. He’s not a threat, and honestly, probably the worst one to have gone after. Just, like, strategically.”
Ben glared at you, but let go. He glanced at where MM and Butcher were still grabbing him, and gave them a venomous look that got them both to let go and take hasty steps back. He shot a glowering look of they could’ve fucking waited until the morning in your direction.
You wrinkled your nose at him. No. Shut the fuck up. You turned to Hughie, not even bothering to hide the desperation you felt in your imploring stare. “It’s all ready? All of it? A-Train agreed to help? We’re sure Ashley has the information? We’re sure neither one is going to tell Homelander, and we’re not about to walk into a fucking trap?”
“Yes, yes, yes, kind of, and yes.” Butcher counted off on his fingers as he answered. “But we’ve got to go right fucking now.”
“Kind of?” Anxious energy rushed through you—that still-strange feeling lighting under your skin—and you ignored the weird look Ben shot you as it did. “What do you mean, kind of? If you fucked this up, Butcher, I swear to God-"
“Calm the fuck down, Love.” Butcher snapped. “It’s going to be fine, we’ll explain on the way. But we need to go fucking now if you want this to work.”
You gave a sharp nod, starting to pull on your boot, glancing up with a pause when you heard Hughie say your name behind you.
“Do you, uh, do you want to get dressed first?” His voice was still slightly weak as he recovered from Ben’s force.
You glanced down at your body, and decided that the oversized shirt and cloth shorts would be fine. They were from the CIA spring fire-proof collection, and that was more than enough. “Nope. Let’s fucking move.”
You were halfway to the door when a crash sounded behind you, and you whirled around to see MM firmly blocking Ben’s path, the crash seeming to have been Hughie stumbling into the wall in an attempt to get away from the standoff.
“You’re not coming, Soldier Boy. This is a goddamn delicate operation, and you’re the fucking reason we have to do it in the first place. We can’t afford you throwing a tantrum and screwing us.”
“I’m fucking coming, and it’s not up for fucking debate.”
Off to the side, Frenchie snickered as Kimiko signed how many times do you think he’s said that before?
Ben shot them an annoyed look, his fists clenching. “What’s so fucking funny?”
“Nothing,” Frenchie snickered, and his tone was so remarkably unconvincing that even if you hadn’t understood Kimiko, you wouldn’t have believed him.
Ben grunted and tried to move past MM, again to no avail.
He glared down at the firmly planted man, a familiar violent glint in his eyes. “You better fucking move now, before I make you.”
“Do your fucking worst, we’ll put you right back in the box. You’re not coming with us.”
“MM,” you said firmly, watching Ben's fists clench as the dangerous glint returns to his eyes. “We need to go.”
MM looks back at you, but remains in his place. “Are you fucking serious? You’re siding with him?”
“I’m not siding with him.” You keep your voice level, ignoring Ben’s smug face and grin. “We can’t leave him. The I go where he goes thing unfortunately goes both ways.”
“The safe house will hold him for five hours.” MM pushed, and before you could even shake your head, Ben cut in.=
"No, it won’t.”
You shoot him a look that says you’re being unhelpful, and he just returns it with his own of fuck off, you know you fucking want me there.
“Please, MM. He’ll stay quiet in the background, or I’ll burn his dick off. Right?” You direct your last words at Ben, giving him a pointed agree with me or I’m knocking you out and leaving you here look.
“Yeah, whatever. But I’m not staying in the fucking van like a pussy. And you’d better explain what the fuck is happening on the way, Sunshine.”
“Deal. But first they,” You narrowed your eyes at Butcher. “Have some explaining of their own to do.”
“Don’t lose your bloody mind, Love, it’s all in order.” Butcher said breezily, shoving past you to open the door. He gave a dramatic wave of his arm for you to exit, and with a look of doubt, you did.
The car ride was already poised to be uncomfortable. Butcher’s car was not equipped for seven people, let alone seven people where three were very large men, three were supes, and nobody wanted to have physical contact with two. As such, Butcher drove, MM sat in the front, you found yourself squished against one window with Ben between you and a remarkably uncomfortable Hughie, as Kimiko sat, slightly elevated onto their laps, between Frenchie at the other window, and Hughie. It was overall an unideal situation, made worse as your own frustration was amplified by Ben’s, and by Hughie revealing that it was, in fact, not all in order.
Your phase one, the original operation Quick and Bald had called for Ashley Barrett’s complete cooperation. You’d even painstakingly outlined all the potential ways to flip her—most involving something along the lines of hey, wouldn’t a job that didn’t make you so stressed you rip out all your hair and have to buy a bunch of wigs be nice?—and different ways to keep Homelander from finding out about her betrayal—Spain was lovely this time of year, and had a thriving BDSM community Ashley would love. While MM had managed to take care of your instructions for A-Train, the half of the plan you’d incorrectly anticipated to be more difficult, the Ashley situation was, in Butcher’s words, very fucking delicate, but we’ve adapted and everything will be bloody fine, so trust me and don’t be a fucking cunt about it.
You did not trust him. I didn’t help that you’d asked for any other possible details, and he’d pretended he couldn’t hear you. This suspicion was confirmed when, despite your incredible clarity that you would never step foot there again, Butcher seemed to be driving right to Vought Tower.
Your eyes had been steadily widening, panic starting to run through you the closer and closer you got, and you flinched when you felt Ben’s roughly shoulder nudge your own.
“What’s fucking wrong with you?” He’d asked in a low voice, barely audible over Hughie’s rambling explanation.
“You should listen,” you mutter back, trying to shut out the confusing concern he always seemed to feel at you, how it felt remarkably genuine, but was laced with anger that felt like it was trying to push out of your body. “Hughie’s explaining the plan.”
“Yeah, but all I have to fucking do is stay quiet, and I get to keep my dick. You’re being fucking twitchy and silent, and your heart is beating faster than it has all damn day, so don’t even try to fucking lie and tell me it’s fine.”
“It is fine, I’m fine-“ You paused as his words sank in. “Wait, what do you mean my heart-“
“Alright, here we go.” Butcher cut off both you and Hughie with a clap of his hands. “Everyone bloody out, let’s get this shitshow on the road.”
“Butcher,” you said, looking around to see you’d parked directly across from the tower entrance. “What the fuck are we doing here?”
“We’re meeting them right there.” MM answered for Butcher, pointing out of his window to something you couldn’t see. “It’s almost midnight, and Annie’s been making sure nobody gets inside but us.”
“But why?” You protest, even as MM leaves the car. “This,” you give a wide, general wave that hits Ben in the nose. “Cannot be the only option.”
“Both of them still have their trackers,” Hughie leans forward with an apologetic look as Frenchie and Kimiko exit the car. “This will look like they’re just getting a midnight snack, and hopefully Homelander won’t get suspicious.”
“Hopefully?!” You feel a rush of anger—not yours—and a twist of fear deep within your gut—absolutely yours. “Hopefully fucking Homelander won’t get suspicious?!”
Hughie gave an uncertain nod before very quickly scrambling to get out of the car. You take a long, deep breath, trying to steel yourself. A rush of what was becoming a familiar fuming and brittle concern ran through you. You look at Ben, to find his eyes locked firmly onto yours.
“Sorry about hitting-“
“I know how to hot-wire a car.”
You blink at him, taken aback by the firmness of his voice. “What?”
His hand moved to grip your thigh, his gaze not wavering. “I know how to hot-wire a car.”
You give him a flat look. “Yeah, I heard you the first time. Why are you telling me that?”
His frustration leaked into you. “Because say the word, I’ll steal Butcher’s car, and we’ll fucking leave.”
“What? Are you insane?”
“You look like you’re either going to start fucking crying or burst into flames, and this is a stupid fucking idea.”
“This was my plan.” You snap. “And I’m not stealing Butcher’s car. Why do you even know how to hot-wire a car anyway?”
Ben’s grip tightened. “No, your plan was stupidly well fucking thought out.”
“That’s an oxymoron.” You mutter, and he ignores you.
“And even if they haven’t completely fucking blown the execution, they completely squashed any chance of safety.”
“It’ll be fine,” you say, the words sounding fake even as you say them. “It’s late. He’s probably asleep.”
“What if he’s not?” His concern was starting to move to your throat, and there was something else, something sitting far deeper in your chest, beating and beating against you. Against you.
“Ben.” You place your hand over his. “I’ve worked too hard on this. This is the only way, and it will be fine.” You say the last words firmly and clearly, trying to make them sink into you. “Now take your fucking hand off of me, and get out of the damn car.”
He pulls himself from you, and even as his touch leaves, the concern and beat linger until he’s gone from the car. You drag yourself across the seats and ignore Hughie’s offer of a hand as you duck out of the car and onto the curb. You notice the 24 hour diner MM must have been pointing out almost immediately, half because—aside from an incredibly sketchy looking deli a few doors down—it’s the only building with its lights still on, and half because two very flustered teenagers are sulking away from the entrance, where Annie stands with her arms crossed. She’s already spotted your group, and has angeled her head in a signal to join her.
“You’re late.” She chides as you approach.
“Well, Starlight, I’d apologize, but it was those two fuckheads,” Ben and MM both receive a jabbed thumb over Butcher’s shoulder. “Who decided to draw out the bloody carpool process.”
“I told you not to call me Starlight anymore, Butcher.” Annie snaps, not giving him a chance to respond before she turns to you. “A-Train is, somehow, running behind as well. Hopefully Ashley’s just being resistant to getting food with him, but they’ll be here.”
“Isn’t running that pussy’s whole fucking thing?” Ben muttered, quiet enough for only you to hear. You step as hard as you can on his foot.
“Shut it, Pretty Boy.” You whisper over his grunt of what probably is more emotional pain than physical.
“Bitch.” He hisses back.
“Cunt.” You raise your voice so the others can hear you. “We should go inside, it’s risky to just… stand here.”
With nervous looks around and stuttered agreements, you all make your way into the diner. The lights are flickering, and it’s eerily empty with only a very nervous-looking blonde waitress at the counter. She makes a very big show of asking how many are in your party, leading you to a large, round table, and laying out the menus with shaky hands. Kimiko, Hughie, Annie, and MM try and offer her comforting smiles, though MM’s is strained as he keeps a vigilant glare on Ben. The waitress is staring at Ben herself, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, glacing back as she leaves to get your and Butcher’s coffee, Annie and MM’s tea, Kimiko and Hughie’s milkshakes, and Ben and Frenchie’s orders of “the strongest alcohol you’ve fucking got.” Your personal bet was it was going to just be very old beer.
“Why is she fucking staring at me?” Ben muttered to you, watching the waitress as she walked away. “Did you fuck up my beard that bad?”
“Your beard looks literally the same.” You dismiss. “And it’s because, as far as the public knows, Maeve killed you in a heroic act of self-sacrifice to stop your evil, anti-American attacks. That, or she wants to fuck you.”
“Hm,” he looks back at you, settling down into his seat. “Am I allowed to bring guests into the safe house?”
“No.” You say, a little more curtly than you intended. Seeing his wide, cocky grin, you clairfy. “It’s a breach of security. She would need to pass a CIA vetting and be approved by, like, twenty people. I don’t think she’d do that just to fuck you.”
Ben shrugs, his smirk only growing. “You did.”
“I’m going to cut off your balls and feed them to you-“
“Hey,” MM cuts you off, saying your name in a brisk, hard tone from across the table. “They’re here.”
You snap your head to the door, where A-Train is practically pushing Ashley into the diner.
You hear her voice clearly over the recession pop humming from the speakers. “Why can’t we just go to the fucking deli? They make these amazing meatball subs and supes eat free, so you could order for both of us- oh fuck no.”
“Oh, shit.” MM mutters, jumping to his feet with Butcher and Annie as Ashley notices them, and promptly tries to dash for the exit.
You don’t entirely blame her. You’d probably do the same. You had done the same, an unhelpful voice reminds you.
“I- Am- Not-“ Ashley is trying to get past A-Train, who hasn’t given up trying to herd her further into the diner. “Fuck- this-“
“Ashley, just listen to them, I fucking swear-“
“Why should I trust you?!” Ashley doubles over, out of breath. “You fucking tricked me! Midnight snack my fucking ass- Fuck no!” She raises a crooked finger at Annie, who has stopped in front of her. “Get the fuck away from me, you bitch.”
“Ashley, please listen to A-Train-“
“No! Just leave me the fuck alone! I don’t want to be a part of your weird fucking eye for an eye justice shit-“
“You kind of already are.” MM says as he locks the door behind her. “You work for Vought, your it’s motherfucking CEO. That makes you a part of this, like it or not.”
“Not!” Ashley shouts. “I don’t care what you have to say! Homelander’s going to fucking kill me, oh my god.” She starts to hyperventilate. “If he finds out I was here, he’ll kill you-“ She points a shaky finger at A-Train. “And then make me go on fucking TV to explain why you’re missing, and then fucking kill me-“
Butcher scoffs. “Bloody hell, lady. Calm the fuck down, Homelander ain’t gonna find out.”
“You don’t know that!” She shrieked. “He knows fucking everything! Especially since fucking Sage joined!” She spins around frantically, and her wild eyes lock onto yours. “He knows about them!” A shaking finger jumps between you and Ben. “Fuck! He’s supposed to be fucking asleep and now he’s fucking not! And he was so fucking angry about her, I’ve never seen him so fucking angry-“
Whatever else Ashley stutters about Homelander’s anger is lost to you as the world freezes. The feeling isn’t just under your skin, it’s up your spine, in your blood, circling around your brain. It’s fucking everywhere and you can’t fucking breathe, her words looping around you.
He knows. He’s angry. He fucking knows. He’s fucking angry. He fucking knows and he’s fucking angry and he fucking knows and he’s fucking angry and-
A white hot, impossibly calm feeling crashes over you. It’s angry, hungry and angry, but it’s grounding, sharpening everything around you. Suddenly the world is back in complete focus, Ashley’s shrill rambling scraping at your ears, and in the distance that weird fucking rhythm is sounding. As the feeling in your body returns fully, you realize Ben’s hand is back on your thigh. You bounce it, looking up to give him a glare, and find he’s not even looking at you. Instead, his eyes are trained on Ashley, narrowed and cold. You give a small cough, and when he glances down at you, the feeling of anger stutters with something lighter, though only for a second.
You give another bounce of your leg, a look of move your damn hand or lose it taking over your face.
No, not until you calm the fuck down his scowl responds.
You huff, standing abruptly, and his hand falls off at the force of your movement. Suddenly you feel a lot less solid, but reason that your legs are shaky from the Homelander of it all, and if any situation calls for fractured nerves, it’s this one.
“Ashley.” You call across the diner, trying not to stutter or chew off your lip as her protests falters and attention turns to you. “If you know who I am, you know I wouldn’t be anywhere near here if we weren’t certain it was safe. Just have some food with us, listen, and then you can go.”
Ashley gives you a scowl that might surpass Ben’s but nods tightly, yanking her arm from where A-Train had been trying to hold her in place. You sit back down as the group at the door returns to their seats, the poor waitress pressing herself against the bar as they pass. Letting out a shaky, unsteady breath, you try and still yourself as you look out the diner window. City lights. Music.
City lights.
Music.
It was safe. He knows and he’s angry but was safe and there were city lights and music.
Your breathing was no longer coming in short, distressed bursts, but getting air in and out of yourself still felt like an act of labor, and you needed to get it the fuck together before Ashley sat down.
City lights. Music.
You can’t hear the song the diner is playing, instead letting your whole mind turn inward, allowing the ghost of music you can no longer sing to wash over you.
Ashley sits across from you right when you regain control, and from the corner of your eye, you see Ben pulling his hand from where it had been inching towards yours.
Her eyes flit, nerves poorly hidden, from you to Ben to Butcher to Annie and back to you, and her voice is high and shaky when she speaks. “Well?”
“Ashley, we need your help.” Annie leans forward, palms flat on the table.
“Well, then we’re done. I can’t help you. They don’t tell me anything, not really.” Ashley tries to stand, but her arm is caught by A-Train. “Really?” A-Train hisses as he pulls her back into her seat beside him. “They don’t tell you anything my ass, we sit in on all the same meetings. And I pulled these files-“ He pulls out a thumb drive from absolutely nowhere and drops it on the table. “Using your name, so you clearly have access to them.”
“What?!” Ashley looks at the thumb drive like it’s going to either explode or start jizzing on her blouse. “Why would you fucking do that?”
“Insurance.” A-Train answers smugly, the thumbdrive clearly having his intended. “I can’t open it, so you’re going to tell them how, and then I’ll erase the records of you taking the files from the system.”
Ashley looks around at your group, shaking her head. “No.”
“Sorry, Mate. We ain’t really asking.” Butcher leans across A-Train, shoving the thumb drive closer to Ashley. “Do us this solid, and A-Train won’t go right up to Homelander and tell him about how he saw you also cuddly and tight with me, Soldier Boy, and his favorite missing person.”
Your heart jumps right into your throat. City lights. Music.
Suddenly, Ben’s elbow is planted against yours, and you’re pulled back down to earth just in time to hear Ashley yell, “This is fucking blackmail! I’ll fucking sue!”
“You cannot sue government officials, madame.” Frenchie says smugly, and Hughie shakes his head.
“That’s- Frenchie, that’s not even kind of true.”
“You’re also not a government official.” Annie adds.
Frenchie looks genuinely perplexed at this and gives Kimiko a confused frown, receiving a shrug in return.
“But,” you pipe up, your voice somehow bored and casual. “I’m legally dead. He’s-“ You jab Ben in the chest, and Ashley’s eyes widen. “Legally dead and an enemy of the state. You can’t sue either of us, not without admitting some Vought secrets that will be very bad PR.” You give her a twisted smile, leering across the table. “Help us, or, even if Homelander believes you, which we both know he won’t, you’ll get fired. And I’m sure they’ll be very understanding and normal about how they do it.”
You feel a flash of weird pride and realize you can see Ben fighting a smile in your periphery.
Ashley has a fearful expression, looking at where your elbow is still connected with Ben’s. “What- what's even on it?”
“Becca Butcher files.” You say, not taking your gaze from her, but you didn’t need to look around to see the sudden, rigidness with which everyone sat. You even felt Ben’s own shock run through you.
You’d be lying if you said hiding the exact contents of the file hadn’t been a very purposeful choice that you and Butcher had made. He’d cornered you, demanding to know what you planned on doing should Soldier Boy go after Ryan, and you’d told him that it wouldn’t be an issue. Ryan looked up to Homelander, that was why he stayed. He’d lost his mother, he didn’t trust Butcher, all the poor kid had was his insane, sociopathic father. Some part of you—small and sad and tired, still sitting on a staircase in Boston—understood that. But with Becca gone, gone forever, Ryan didn’t have a place to run like you’d had. Homelander was the default, and just kind enough to his son that Ryan could force himself to forgive Homelander again and again. Homelander was safe for Ryan.
You were going to make sure Ryan never saw Homelander as safe again. And that started with Becca Butcher and would end with you. So you and Butcher had agreed with a tight handshaked that he'd ripped his hand from right after, everyone was only going to know what they needed to. That was the only way it would work.
“Becca Butcher files?” MM repeats in a slow, incredulous tone. “You,” he turns with a look of shock to Butcher. “You knew about this? You’re fuckin okay with this?”
“I’m doing what has to be done, Mate.” Butcher answers flatly, then says your name. “Tell ‘em the plan, Love.”
“We need to get Ryan away from Homelander. Ryan needs to know about his mother.”
“No,” Ashley was emerging from the shock to try and stand from the table, but A-Train’s arm shot out, pulling her back down once more. “No,” she says again, looking around desperately. “Ryan, Ryan is all he has. All he cares about. You take Ryan he’ll lose his mind-“
“He’s already lost his mind.” Something snaps in your chest—a cruel feeling waking up as you watch Ashley fret about Homelander. “And I couldn’t give less fucks about what he cares about.” The feeling is crawling across your skin. “If this hurts him, good. It could never hurt him enough to make it right.” You hear drums and still can’t place where they’re coming from. “Now listen to the last fucking strand of your morality on your scalp and fucking help us.”
Ashley shakes her head again, this time with less certainty. “It’s- no- He-“ she pulls in a deep, unsteady breath. “He won’t stop until he gets Ryan back. He already is going insane about you and him and how he needs to get you back safe and put him back down, and if Ryan goes to then nothing will stop him-“
The drums are loud now, and something that’s usually there on Ben’s face is missing. Your own body doesn’t feel entirely normal anymore, but it’s not paralyzed or running. You can feel something in Ben caving, falling inward in a growing rhythm, moving in time as something in you grows. It's not in you now, it’s across you, coating your skin and singing with glee.
“Ashley,” the sound of your voice is a little far away, but you can hear it echo through you. It’s wired, hot, a warning.
“I- I can’t.”
“Yes, you fucking can.” You sneer. “You’re just too much of a pussy to do it.” Ben coughs in the way that you know means he wants to laugh, just as the drums stutter and move farther away.
“Please, I don’t-“
“Do not make me stab you.”
Ashley falters, looking you up and down. “You won’t.”
“Trust me, she will.” Ben smirks, giving you a nudge. “She’s surprisingly violent.”
“I, I won’t. I can’t. He’ll kill me-“
“You think we won’t?” Ben growls, any amusement in him gone as you feel something unbreakable and resolved through your body.
Ashley tries to run again, this time actually managing to get up from the table, but is knocked flat on her ass by A-Train before she can take two steps. You stand and give the itch, now under your tongue and your nails, a small scratch.
“Oh, fuck no.” You hear scrambling as you walk around the table and stop, staring down at Ashley.
She’s crawling back from you, back from the fire curling from your whole body, and disgust curls in your gut. For the first time you feel anger—insatiable and gory anger—all of your own. No city lights flash around you, no hollow music dances around your head. You don’t fear Ashley. She’s weak and spineless. She’s willing to cover her hands in Ryan’s blood, in your blood, to keep herself safe from Homelander. She’s staring at you, terrified, and you don’t need to touch her to know it isn’t even a fraction of all the fear you felt in that white room. That white room she knows about, may have seen, and is still trying to keep Homelander happy.
You bend down, letting all your hatred for Vought, for her, cover your features. When you speak, your words are clear and low.
“You are going to tell Butcher how to access the thumbdrive. A-Train and you are going to take some food with you, and walk back to the tower. You aren’t going to tell Homelander about this, and if he asks, offer him some leftovers. A-Train will erase your activity from the files, and you’re going to pretend the whole night never happened. If you tell Homelander about either me or Be-“ You correct yourself smoothly. “Soldier Boy, the last thing I will do before he locks me away again is kill you. Do I make myself clear?”
Ashley nods frantically, flinching when you raise your hand.
“Say it. Say that I made myself clear.”
“You-“ Ashley stutters, hiccuping. “You made yourself clear.”
You draw yourself back up. “Good. Butcher, I’m leaving. You can drive me and come back, or Ben can steal your car, but I’m leaving.”
When you turn, when you see the looks on your team’s face, all the anger is gone, and suddenly there is a crushing, painful weight of shame on your chest. They’re looking at you like Ashley had been, like you’re no better than Homelander. Like maybe you should go back in the room, it would be safer for them, it would be safer for everyone if you were far, far away-
“You heard the lady.” Ben is standing, walking around to your side. “It’s late. We’re leaving. Sunshine?” He offers you his arm, and you stare between it and your own, still covered in flame. Looking up, his face looks bored, as if this is just another Tuesday, and he offers his arm to women who are actively ablaze on a regular basis.
Your face feels slack, and all you can manage is to blink at him. I’ll burn you, Pretty Boy. It’ll hurt.
His brows subtly knit, and he doesn’t move. I’ll live, Sunshine. Don’t let them see you break. We’re going home.
You look back at your team, a wide circle of berth having formed around you and Ben. Butcher is looking between the two of you, and you recognize that glint in his eyes. You’d seen it before, but it’s only been really, truly directed at you once. In a graveyard in Boston, gravestones and bushes around you burning in the dead of winter, holding a bucket of ice that steamed off your skin. Under it, fear begins to creep back into you, exhaustion pushing it forward. Butcher reaches behind him, and your knees feel weak.
But you don’t fall. Zealous anger, strong and raw, spreads through you and Butcher’s movements still. You look down and find Ben’s arm unflinchingly looped through yours, his body at its full height as his eyes rake coldly over Butcher.
The silence hangs in the air, cut through only by Ashley’s quick, sobbed breaths. For a second you think the smoke seeping from you will overtake the room before anyone moves, but Butcher slowly reaches into his pockets, eyes not leaving Ben’s, and throws the keys at Hughie.
“Drop them off, Mate, then come right back. No bloody detours.”
Hughie stares at the keys, looking like he’s going to protest, but Kimiko grabs them before he can.
She turns to you, completely composed, no fear wavering as she locks your eyes with hers. I’ll take you.
Before you can thank her, Frenchie steps forward, signing as he speaks. “Mon Coeur, you cannot drive.”
She frowns. Yes I can.
“No, Mon Coeur, not legally.” Frenchie says, exasperated, and you have a feeling this is not first time they've had this debate.
Kimiko rolls her eyes at you. Fine. She signs back at Frenchie, throwing the keys at him. You’ll do it.
Frenchie stumbles as he catches them, giving Kimiko a shocked look, which she pretends not to see as she walks to the door, signing at you as she passes.
Let’s go before Butcher’s brain starts working.
A small smile threatens your face, and you move, tugging Ben’s arm only once before he falls into pace with you, Frenchie scrambling behind you both.
The car ride back feels longer. The moment you’d stepped out of the diner, your body had extinguished, and you had a worrying sense that the only thing keeping you from collapsing on the sidewalk was Ben’s arm firm through yours. No words were said for the entirety of the drive, you and Ben in the backseat as Frenchie drove and Kimiko lounged in shotgun, and your brain raced. Ben hadn’t let go, and the drums were fading in and out of your chest as he stared ahead into the night.
You arrived at the safe house, only a street lamp casting a dull glow across the street. The chill of the wind cutting against you as Kimiko walked you to the door, Frenchie mumbling something about keeping the car safe from Hooligans. Ben made to step inside, but halted, still not releasing your arm, as you stayed at the doorstep.
At his questioning glare, you tried to wiggle his arm from yours. “Go inside, Ben. I’ll be right there.”
He looked down at where he was still connected with you, and you felt reluctance in time with the drums, but he let go with a scowl. “Be fast,” he grunted, and stomped into the house.
You watched until he’d disappeared fully down the hall, turning to Kimiko only once his back was shrouded in the darkness of the house.
“Thank you,” you give her a soft smile, signing as you speak. “I- I don’t know what happened, I just-“
She shakes her head, and you trail off. I understand. I get angry too. She pauses, hands hovering for only a second. We are not like them. She points down the street, in the direction of the tower, and then past you, into the house. We get to be angry.
“I don’t want to be angry.” You say softly. “He wins when I get angry.”
Kimiko gives you a sad look, placing a hand on your arm. Her own frustration, her fear of Homelander, all the anger at the world, sinks into you. She holds your gaze for a second before drawing back to sign once more. He doesn’t win when you’re angry. He wins when you’re scared. You’re not Soldier Boy. Your anger is good.
You glance back into the house. “I think he- Ben- Soldier Boy- is scared. Or something. His emotions are really fucking confusing.”
You let him touch you. She signs. Does he know?
“He said he didn’t care, because he’s, and I quote, ‘not a pussy with something to hide’.”
But he’s scared? She gives you a questioning frown. Do you think it’s because of Russia? Could you fix it, like you offered for me?
“I’m not sure, but-“ you’re cut off as Frenchie honks the horn, leaning out the window.
“Mon Coeur!” His odd position makes his signing almost unintelligible, which he seems to realize, and raises his voice. “Monsieur Butcher says to get back ‘like a hare with a bomb up it’s arse'.”
Kimiko rolls her eyes at you, but signs a goodbye, giving your hand a small squeeze before returning to the car. As the engine rumbles, Frenchie pulling out the driveway, Kimiko’s calm faith lingers in you, and you walk back into the house, shutting the door behind you.
Almost all the lamps and ceiling lights of the house are off, the TV glowing from where you had abandoned it several hours ago. From the bottom of the stairs, you can see the upstairs hall is washed in a soft yellow, and when you reach the top Ben’s door is open, the light from within filling the hall. You stop at the entrance to his room, his back to you as he pulls a cotton shirt over his head.
You let out a small cough in a weak attempt to alert him to your presence.
“You’re allowed to just come in, Sunshine.” He grunts, still facing away. “I’m not a shy little virgin you need to pussyfoot around.”
You let out a small hum, walking over the threshold and stopping a few feet behind him. “Thank you.” You say softly, and he turns around to look at you.
His eyes are tired. Pained. Something looks like it’s pulling at him and it scares you. You’ve seen that expression before, when you’d woken him up that first day, at the Neuman mission, when you pulled him from nightmares with sharp hits, but never just there. It was always with something. This was like an island, just him and you, nothing pulling it out of him.
“Don’t thank me.” He says gruffly. Even his voice is drained. “You mostly held your own.”
“But-“
“And stop feeling bad about that Ashley bitch. She fucking deserved it.”
You stare at him. “You really believe that?”
He lets out a hollow laugh. “She was fucking pathetic. A fucking pussy. Fucking eating out Homelander’s fucking hand, brown-nosing him until he fucking cums and pays her, letting him take you-“ His jaw clenches. “I fucking meant it when I said we’re not going back Sunshine. I’m not a goddamn pussy liar.”
“I didn’t think you were. But, you…” Your voice fades as you try to find the words. “I could feel you. At the diner.”
“I fucking know, that was the goddamn point. I wasn’t going to let you start crying in front of those self-righteous pussies.”
“No, Ben.” You shake your head. “I could feel you. I could feel it.” You place a hand over your chest. “It was building. There was something beating against you, inside you. And you looked…” You watch him carefully. “Scared.”
“Fucking watch it.” He growls. “I don’t get fucking scared. I’m not-“
“A fucking pussy. I know.” You sigh. “I don’t want to, I can’t, fight right now. I’m so fucking tired. You can scream at me in the morning, but not right now, please.”
He stares at you, and just when you think he’s going to start yelling, he nods. “You’re…” He sounds strange. “You’re ok.”
Just like the last time he said it, the words aren’t phrased like a question. They don’t feel like a question. It feels like he’s just telling you again. But there’s something under it this time, something that makes his words almost unsure. Something that makes up your mind faster than you thought you would.
“Are you?” You ask quietly.
“Of course I fucking am.”
“Ben.” You tilt your head at him. “I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want you to respond now.”
“You’re being fucking weird, Sunshine.”
“Please.”
He relents with a grunt. “Fucking fine. What.”
“I can fix it.” It’s so hard to keep his gaze as you speak. “It will take time, but I can fix it.”
“Fix what.” He scowls. “There’s nothing to fucking fix.”
“Your PTSD.”
“I don’t fucking have-“
“Ben, I could feel it. It’s dangerous. I could fix it.” You take a deep breath. “I can fix internal injuries as well. I offered to fix Kimiko’s muteness, but she didn’t want me to do it.”
“Then what fucking makes you think-“
“Muteness isn’t dangerous. And it would’ve been harder for me, I might have ended up mute myself. You’re dangerous like this. You can’t fucking control it, and don’t try and lie and say it’s under control. Ashley mentioned putting you back under, and you looked like someone was drowning you.”
“Shut the fuck up, Sunshine.” He leers at you. “You don’t fucking know me, know what it was like-“
“I do. You know I do.” You whisper, and the anger on his face breaks. “More than anyone else, I know. I can fix it, but you’ll have to let me. Just-“ You search his eyes, not sure what you’re looking for. “Just think about it. I won’t mention it again, I won’t even touch you, but my offer will stay on the table. Please, just think about it.”
Before you can leave, he grabs your hand. A rush of painful exhaustion runs through you, and there’s anger, but it’s not full of the fervor you’ve come to expect from him. It’s not even at you. It’s wide and almost consuming, leaving room for only a small kernel of something fragile and warm.
“I don’t care if you keep touching me, Sunshine. I've go nothing to hide from you, and that’s not going to change. But there’s nothing in me you need to fucking fix, so don’t fucking bother.”
“I’m not trying to fix you, Ben,” You murmur. "But remember, you burn, I burn. Please don't burn." Your last words are soft, and the kernel pulses.
“Good,” he grunts, releasing your arm. A small smirk crawls onto his face. “Now I don’t care if it’s here or in your room, Sunshine, but you need to go the fuck to bed. You look like shit.”
Just as he says it, the full weight of your fatigue hits you. You give a mumbled acknowledgement of his words, and try to leave the room, but all the adrenaline is gone from your system and nothing is left to stop the failure of your legs or droop of your eyes. The last thing you feel is something pulling you up before your knees hit the carpet, the last thing you see is green eyes on your own, and you hear an amused snort from above you.
“Goodnight, Sunshine. Try not to dream about me.”
You try to object, but sleep pulls you under before you can even remember why you need to.
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chillinglyadventurous · 1 month ago
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Pissed Off
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Thank you for the request, anon! As someone who is also pissed off today, I hope this calms us both. However, I took a bit of a twist.
Tags: fighting, toxic relationships
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Fiddleford had caught you off guard as you sat in the kitchen with a book in your hand. You had heard the screaming, the yelling, but your friend’s chest heaved now. His gaze was unfocused and bewildered. “That machine ain’t safe and yer fiancé’s tinkerin’ with it like it’s a toy. It’s gonna end the world!”
“Fidds,” you stared, “what happened? Are you okay?”
He didn’t answer you, running from your home as if he had just escaped certain death. You knew Fiddleford was right. He’d been warning Ford for months, trying to get you on bis side, but Stanford had insisted and brushed the two of you off with that genius air of his. He had said over and over again that he was in control. His muse was an expert.
You couldn’t keep quiet anymore. Enough was enough. Whatever happened scared Fiddleford so badly he wouldn’t even explain, storming out, so you stormed down the stairs, ripping into Ford’s lab with a wild look in your eyes. Your glare fixed itself onto the giant, triangle portal which dominated the room, making you feel small. Fiddleford’s warning echoed in your mind and fueled your exhaustion with this, with being second place to everything in his life. 
What pissed you off the most that Ford didn’t even look up at you. His attention was fully focused on the loose sheets of calculation in front of him. “Stanford Filbrick Pines, are you out of your mind?”
It was like he didn’t even hear you. Your fists clenched, knuckles white as the anger filling you boiled over. In one swift motion, you grabbed the stack of notes off the table in front of him and threw them into the air. Pages flew everywhere, floating down in a fluttering mess. You met his glare with your own. Your eyes were full of rage.
It was as if his whole body shaked is disbelief. You caught him off guard, lost in his wondering of where his muse had disappeared off too. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“This isn’t worth it, Stanford! None of this is worth it!” You shredded the papers that landed at your feet, ripping them apart mercilessly. You watched the pieces fall to the ground. You didn’t care how many hours he had put into it. You didn’t care how meticulous he was. Fuck this.
You kicked over a chair, not knowing what had so quickly come over you. It didn’t matter. You needed to get a message through his thick skull. The chair crashed against the wall and the wood splintered. The sound boomed through the room. You didn’t care. You couldn’t care. All you could see was that portal and the man you loved throwing his goddamn life away for the sake of some mystery, some fucking puzzle. 
You hurled one of his many gadgets across the room. The sound of glass shattering startled you, but you didn’t stop. You truly didn’t know if you were capable of stopping. Not yet anyways. So, you threw another, watching it smash against one of his many workbenches. The wires and circuits scattered across the floor like every single one of his broken promises. 
“Stop! [Y/N], please, stop!” 
Ford’s voice cut through the chaos and you turned to him, eyes blazing. “You promised me!” You screamed, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction, “You said this wouldn’t consume you! You said this was safe! Did you see Fiddleford’s face? What did you do to him?!” A hateful laugh escaped you. You gestured wildly around you, “Is this worth it? All of this? Is it worth losing your best friend? Is it worth losing me?”
Ford stood frozen in front of you, your words cutting deep. You lunged at him, you fists pounding against his chest in a plea for him to stop this, whatever it was. You weren;t sure, but it could kill him. It could take him away from you. You didn’t want to lose him.The heel of both of your fists met his chest again and he grabbed you. 
He needed to stop you and you fought him the entire way, even as he pinned your back to the far wall. Tears streamed down your cheeks then and you tried to fight him off, but he was too strong. “I didn’t realize-”
“You never realize!” You screamed into his face. You struggled against him, never stopping until his body was pressed flush to yours, hands pinned between you. “You are always so wrapped up in your work that you forget about everything else. About us! Do you even care anymore?!”
He did his best to hush you. A hand cradled your head and hid your face in his neck. You shook your head, tears burning in your eyes, but the anger was fading now, replaced by exhaustion. “I don’t want to lose you, Ford. I can’t stand by and watch you throw your life away for this obsession.”
He held you as you screamed, tears rolling down your cheeks. Your hands covered your face as he tried to kiss away what you were feeling. He didn’t speak, just trying to calm you. You knew it, you knew, this wouldn’t stop. You were going to lose him to this portal, to his muse, whatever, whoever, it was. Ford wasn’t yours, not anymore. Instead, you let him hold you, savoring what was left. You knew, deep down, he wouldn’t be yours for much longer.
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ninupi · 6 days ago
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Hello I have a request! Could you write a scenario where either Kakucho or Draken (you can write for both or do one or the other I don't mind) have a crush on reader(they're friends though but they haven't confessed) however there's someone else who also likes reader and asks them to help them get together with reader🥸How would they react? And what would they do? I hope that makes sense 😅
Thank you 😊
Jealous | k. draken & kakucho (separately)
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₊˚⊹♡ tags; fem!reader, both of these are in a good timeline where everyone look gets along, mention of reader looking up at draken, everyone lowk making fun of sanzu in drakens lol, ran being canonically blind but refusing to wear glasses is so funny to me LMFAOO, kakucho being a liar boy
₊˚⊹♡ wc; 830 (draken) 331 (kakucho)
₊˚⊹♡ a/n; ahh im so happy I finally found time to write this, I literally couldn't stop thinking about it when I first saw it lol
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k. draken
Draken was intensely watching the TV from the couch while Mikey and Mitsuya were competing in mortal combat on the TV. Most of the guys were over at Mikey's house right now taking turns playing the new game. 
"I'm going to kick your ass Mitsuya..." Mikey warned after receiving a combo almost ending his character's life "You said that the last two rounds, maybe you should focus on fighting!" Mitsuya laughed nudging Mikey with his elbow trying to distract him. 
"You seriously suck at this Mikey!" Smiley laughs angering the blonde even more "Next round, you and me asshole!" Mikey yells pointing at Smiley after Mitsuya's character brutally rips Mikey's apart. "Ok let's go, this is gonna be a piece of cake" he smiles while switching places with mitsuya to sit on the floor. 
While the two of them argued about who they wanted to play Draken heard the front door open "I'm home! And I brought y/n so don't be weird!" Draken perked up once he heard Emma mention your name, you two had become friends earlier this year at school and Emma's been bringing you around a lot more. 
"Ok, so no one cares that I'm home?" Emma asks walking into the living room while y/n is behind her "No, not really" Mikey answers locking his character in "Oh screw you Mikey, I hope you lose!" she yells throwing a couch pillow at the back of his head.
"Hi y/n! How are you?" Draken can't help the way his face contorts in disgust at Sanzu's tone of voice "Hi Haru, I'm fine. Are you playing too?" Haru? Draken didn't know that the two of you were so close "Yeah, I played against Baji earlier and won" he bragged causing Baji to yell at him. 
"Are you not going to say hi to me Draken?" you question softly kicking his leg, he can feel the back of his neck getwarm. "Hey" He knows he probably seems like an asshole he just gets so nervous every time he talks to you. But when he sees you smile at him he knows you don't mind his cold demeanor. 
"Come on y/n, let's go!" Emma grumbles grabbing your hand and leading you toward her room "Bye y/n!" Sanzu calls out waving to you "Bye Haru! Bye Draken!" you smile waving at the two of them. Draken gives Sanzu a certain look when he hears Baji speak up. 
"You're so embarrassing man..." he sighs and Draken looks at Baji who's nodding towards Sanzu "Huh? What do you mean?" Sanzu questions offended "When are you going to tell her you like her? I'm sure she knows but it's best to get rejected now" Smiley laughs starting up his round with Mikey. 
"What are you guys talking about? I don't like y/n..." Draken turns to give Sanzu giving him an unimpressed look while everyone else turns to look at him including Smiley who paused the game to do so, much to Mikey's dismay. "NO!" he screamed out at the paused screen displaying how he was about to hit a combo on Smiley's character. 
"Do you think we're dumb?" Mitsuya genuinely questions fully turning to face Sanzu "Hi y/n! I love you y/n! Can I lick your shoes y/n!" smiley mocks Sanzu causing the guys to all laugh except Sanzu who starts protesting in embarrassment "I don't sound like that, and be quiet what if she hears you!" he hisses looking in the direction of Emma's room where the two of you were. 
"Her room is on the other side of the house, they can't hear anything" Mikey explains while fidgeting with the controller in his hands "Whatever man just ask her out already she might say yes, who knows" Smiley shrugs turning back to the tvand unpausing the game.
"Can you help me ask her out?" Draken can't even hide the way his face contorts in disgust before facing Sanzu "What?" he asks even though he heard him the first time "Can you help me ask y/n out?" Sanzu asks again a bit more harshly this time "No, do it yourself" Draken snaps feeling a bit annoyed about Sanzu's presence now. 
He feels Sanzu slump into the couch next to him when he gets up saying he needs a drink when the others ask him where he's going "Get me a soda!" Mikey calls out before losing to Smiley, again. When Draken walks into the kitchen he sees you sitting there almost like you were waiting for him. 
"Hey..." he mutters walking to the fridge "I heard you guys," you say without much emotion "Oh" Draken just continues to stare at the inside of the fridge not really caring about a drink anymore "I don't really like Haru like that you know..." you sigh leaning against the counter next to the fridge. 
Draken can feel a weight lift off of his shoulders "Oh really?" he questions standing up a bit straighter while closing the fridge, without grabbing a drink. "Yeah I kinda like someone else...someone a bit taller." you smile looking up at him. "That's nice to know" he smiles giving you his full attention now. 
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kakucho
Kakucho really liked ran haitani, but right now he really wanted to punch his teeth in. "I'm real sorry about that sweetheart, are you alright?" Kakucho watched ran held your arm softly with a clenched jaw as he approached the two of you "Yeah I'm fine, don't worry about it" you smiled up at him.
"Hey, what happened?" Kakucho questioned walking up behind you softly pulling you out of rans hold. "Oh nothing, we just bumped into each other" you explain with a soft laugh while ran moved a bit closer to Kakucho squinting at him. 
"You should wear your glasses, then you'd see where you're going" Kakucho muttered pushing Ran's face away roughly "Come on my eyesight ain't that bad" he laughed standing straight realizing it was Kakucho who joined the conversation. 
"It actually really is, you need glasses" Kakucho sighs wondering how Ran's gotten this far in life being so blind "Oh yeah you should probably get glasses if it's that bad! But I have to go, I'll see you later kakucho?" you question looking at him with hopeful eyes. 
"Yeah, I'll come pick you up" he smiles nudging you with his elbow "Ok great, I'll see you later, bye guys!" you call out, running towards your class "You gotta set me up with her Kakucho" ran immediately says once you're out of earshot, nudging him with his elbow.
  "Yeah, not happening man," Kakucho says walking away from the taller boy "What? Why not? C'mon, help me out man" Ran sighed throwing an arm over the younger boy's shoulder "I'm not gonna help you ask out my girlfriend."
Kakucho is forced to stop when ran stops walking looking at him slightly shocked "Oh man I'm sorry, I didn't know you two were dating…that's my bad" Kakucho refused to look at ran knowing he was lying straight to his face. Ran didn't need to know that right now though, "It's fine, but yeah I'm not setting you up with her."
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chris-hallelujah · 1 month ago
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Oh My My My... | m.s.
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Summary: This is the story of your relationship with your childhood best friend, Matt, progressing through your lives.
Warnings: none ! lots of fluff, slight angst
Word Count: 1.2k
My Master List 
Be added to my tag list
A/N: The lack of motivation to write is REAL y'all. All I want to do is play dti lmao. But I have been wanting to do this story for a while. I am sure that someone in the fandom has done this before, but I have not seen it. With that being said, all ideas are my own and I do not give consent for them to be reposted, rewritten, or shared on this platform or any other.
<3 - Billie
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seven and nine
It was the summer before second grade for you, fourth grade for the triplets. The four of you had been inseparable since you were toddlers as your parents were all close friends. There was something special between you and Matt that was different than how things were with Nick and Chris. You followed Matt everywhere. You looked at him like he had strung the stars, in your childhood mind, he did. At this point, Matt saw you as his shadow.
"Quit followin' me! I'm gonna beat ya up, kid," Matt teased sticking his tongue out. This elicited a squeal and a trail of giggles to leave your mouth as he chased you around the backyard. You knew he'd never actually hurt you, but you were happy to have him giving you some sort of attention.
"I have a feeling we're gonna have trouble keeping them two apart 'for too long," Your dad chuckled sipping his beer which caused Matt's dad to laugh and nod.
twelve and fourteen
Many of your summer days were spent with the triplets in between your neighboring backyards. The four of you played endless games of pretend or hide and seek. Finally, your dads thought it was about time you all had somewhere to play and they built you all a tree house in the tree between your houses.
The four of you sat in the treehouse playing truth or dare. As you both grew, you only became more inseparable. "Chris, truth or dare," you spoke above the pop music playing from the stereo in the corner.
"Dare," Chris said with a grin.
"I dare you to eat that grasshopper!" Nick yelled pointing at a bug on the wall. While this wasn't Chris' finest moments, he would never turn down a dare...
After you all had settled back down, Chris turned to Matt, "Matt, truth or dare."
"Dare, obviously," Matt scoffed, a slight lisp from his braces.
"I dare you to kiss y/n," Chris smirked causing Nick to bust out laughing. Matt looked at you, both of your faces the color of cherries.
"You'll have to catch me first!" you exclaimed quickly climbing out of the treehouse. Matt followed fast behind you as he chased you around the house. He caught up to you along the side of the house, now out of view of the boys in the treehouse. You were both out of breath from nerves and the chase. Matt's bright blue eyes met yours as your faces grew closer. Little did you know then, he would be your first and only kiss.
sixteen and eighteen
Matt had spent most of the summer busy working. You honestly had not seen him the whole two and a half months. Chris and Nick worked less so you still saw them often. The four of you reunited the group the night before school started with a bonfire in the boys' backyard. You made your way over wrapped in a blanket to protect you from the chilly night air. Matt stopped in his tracks. How could someone change so much in just a few months? Your hair was long and flowing, your acne had cleared, and you were no longer an awkwardly lanky preteen. It was as if he was seeing you in a whole new light.
"Hi Matt!" you smiled, thrilled to see him after all this time. He was still stunned as he pulled you into a hug. The night flew by as he continued to stare at you, barely contributing to the conversation, he took it all in.
As many predicted, the two of you got together the beginning of your sophomore, his senior, year of high school. It was a beautiful relationship built on friendship, trust, and love. If people thought you were inseparable before you started dating, they should see you now. Matt was the one who taught you to drive and was there when you took the ACT for the first time. You helped him sort through college acceptance letters and even visited some schools with him.
Then came the first fight, who knows what it had started from, all you knew was now you were yelling at each other in your childhood bedroom. "I can't stand you, Matt!" you yelled. With a huff he walked out slamming your bedroom door behind him. A puddle of tears, you collapsed onto your bed as you hugged your pillow wishing it was him.
Matt sat in his bedroom at the house next door. He paced around his room trying to send you texts and calls, all which were left unanswered. He made his way to your porch and texted you, "Im outside." Hoping beyond hope that you would come down and let him in. Before he knew it, his eyes were fluttering open and greeted with bright sunlight and your mom's empathetic face.
"You sweet boy, get in here," she said wrapping him in a throw blanket. He gave her a small smile and fell back asleep in the hallway outside your bedroom. He gave you your space, but was ready to be there when you were.
twenty one and twenty three
The two of you sat up in the treehouse, surprised it was still standing. You had just graduated college and couldn't be more excited to start your new job. The stereo in the corner played soft music as you and Matt danced around slowly, just happy to be in each other's presence. He spun you around and when you turned back to him, he was on one knee. A gasp left your lips as you bent down to meet him at his level. Nodding your head, he slipped the ring onto your finger and stood up to kiss you.
twenty two and twenty four
Church bells rang as your eyes met Matt's. You floated down the aisle to him and connected your hands. It was a small intimate wedding of your closest family and friends, but none of that mattered. All you saw was Matt in that moment. Everyone cheered as you said your 'I dos' and sealed it with a kiss. He carried you back down the aisle as you saw your moms dabbing their eyes.
The reception was the event of the year. So many old and new friends getting together. You all danced the night away until you and Matt disappeared to the honeymoon suite at a nice hotel downtown.
twenty five and twenty seven
You walked carefully as you carried a pink bundle in your arms, following Matt who had your toddler on his hip. It was the first time you were bringing your daughter home to the house you and Matt had bought from your parents. Chris and his wife (a/n its me) bought Matt's parents' old house. Nick and his husband lived in the house across the street. It was like some things had never changed. The two of you sat on the porch swing watching your son play in the yard while you held your daughter. "Can you believe this is where it all started?" you smiled up at your husband, who you'd love since you were a child.
eighty seven and eighty nine
That house was where the two of you had stayed. It earned some renovations but so much of your relationship was intertwined in its bones, you could never leave. Matt sat next to you on that same porch swing holding your hand as you both watched the stars. You looked at him as if he had strung them, because in your mind, he had.
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dyeher · 11 months ago
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Warnings: dad! mitsuya, husband! mitsuya, possible breeding [fic ends before spicy shit].
Notes: mitsuya fluff inspired by my baby fever. unedited read at your own risk.
Notes: someone @audrinui <- said “tag Cass” so @s4no ❤️💋
It’s ten years later and Mitsuya is scowling at a tiny version of himself who has just managed to unravel an entire spool of red fabric onto the floor of his home workshop.
He takes a deep breath, crouching so he’s eye level with the little boy.
“Didn’t I tell you not to come in here?”
The little boy nods.
“So why are you in here?”
The boy blinks rapidly and Mitsuya bites his tongue to stifle a sigh. He can feel the oncoming tantrum as it simmers in his son’s face.
“Hey,” Mitsuya tries to calm him before he even starts. “I’m not mad,” he puts his hands up in a motion of surrender. “I just want to know what you were looking for, little monster.”
The little boy frowns at the nickname, his fingers twining nervously in front of him as he debates whether or not his father is being honest.
“C’mon tell me,” Mitsuya encourages. “Maybe daddy can help you?”
His son cocks his head in a way that reminds him so much of himself that Takashi can’t hide his smile fast enough. The answering grin that splits his son’s face knocks the wind out of his lungs. His son might be a carbon copy of him but his smile was all you.
Mitsuya reaches for him, plucking him up into his arms and propping him on his hip. “Gonna tell me what you were looking for in here kid?”
“‘s looking for my surprise,” he answers, head ducking into Mitsuya’s neck.
Mitsuya heaves a defeated sigh. “Kid, we talked about this. You’ll ruin your own surprise if you find the present before your birthday.”
Mitsuya feels the pout against his neck. “But- but I want to know now.”
Mitsuya can sympathize. The waiting game is a hard game to play as an adult, he might not remember what it was like as a kid but he can imagine it must be hell. He casts a longing glance at the fabric on the floor before leaving the room and heading into the kitchen. “How about we do something else?”
His son pulls away from his neck. Eyes narrowing at his father. “Like what?”
Sometimes Mitsuya has to remind himself that his kid is seven years old. That he’s growing. Soon he’ll be ten and then eighteen and then he’ll be bringing a girl home, and then he’ll be moving out and the house will be back to peaceful. And his threads and fabrics will stay on their spools.
He frowns. He’s not sure he likes how fast his son is growing. There’s nothing appealing about an empty house anymore. He places his son on the counter and braces his hands on either side of him.
“Wanna bake cookies for your momma, little monster?”
His son’s eyes light up, widening as he nods enthusiastically. “Chocolate chip!” he yells and Mitsuya realizes with a sudden jolt of awareness that he wants another one.
Another kid.
He goes through the motions of baking with a seven-year-old, even indulging his son in a minor flour spat, and then cleans them both up. By the time you get home they’ve retired to the couch and your son tackles you down next to him.
Mitsuya is distracted. His earlier realization sitting heavy on his mind as he watches you get your son ready for bed. He listens and inputs dutifully during story time and then presses a kiss on his son’s head before following you to your shared room.
“Takashi?”
He jolts when you wrap your arms around his waist in the bathroom.
“What’s wrong?”
He knows better than to try to tell you nothing at this point. If he’s so distracted you can sneak up at him he knows you’ll know he’s lying.
“I want another little monster,” he blurts, eyes closing when he feels you stiffen behind him.
“Are you sure?”
He meets your eyes in the mirror. “Positive.”
“And this isn’t just your desire to stuff me with cum?”
Mitsuya goes rigid, images flashing across his memory in rapid succession at your words. But- “No. I want another one,” he repeats. “Maybe a little girl this time.”
You squint at him. “Okay.”
He smiles. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow I know you’re tire—”
“Shut up and fuck me Takashi,” you chuckle, already backing away toward your bed. “Before I change my mind.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice.
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mhahaikyuus · 1 year ago
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Manipulative
wc:; 5.3k
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tags;: emotional reader, bakugo being the opposite, reader has mental health issues, established relationship, pro hero bakugo, fighting, angst to fluff, reader and izuku are friends, mentions of death, mentions of bad childhood
a/n: I said I was gonna post like two weeks ago but this draft kept getting longer and longer. it's like half edited but I just need to post something atp. thanks for your patience. I love you all
reblogs and likes appreciated
“Why do you always do this it’s so manipulative.”
You two were in the middle of an argument with your boyfriend. At first it was expressing how each other felt but no one was understanding making it more frustrating. Leading up to you both raising your voices. You hated fighting with him and you felt an upcoming headache.
His loud booming voice was hurting your ears and making you shrink back. Feeling your eyes water you started crying.
All you wanted was to talk about it and not let it get this far. You were sniffling and tears were right down your face.
Mid sentence he interrupted himself, “Here you go again with the tears. Every time we fight here comes the waterworks. Always so sensitive. Why do you always have to be so manipulative.”
The words were dying out of your throat.
What?
He thought you were manipulative because you were emotional. Out of the two of you, you were the most expressive. You were a crybaby and he always teased you.
Books, movies, even a 2 minute youtube video could have you bawling as he laughed at you holding you as you cried. You loved the Notebook it was your favorite movie and you watched it constantly always crying so hard it was as if a loved one died. A fluffy animal on your phone could have you wiping your running mascara off. Someone was mean to you in the store and your eyes would water. It was just who you are as a person since you were a baby. Your own family laughed at you as you waved them off with bloodshot eyes. Katsuki would snicker at your tears and roughly wipe your tears with his thumb. Kiss the top of your head and rubbed it to calm you down. You never thought he had a problem with it. Once at a party a guy in passing called you an ugly bitch and Katsuki had snatched him up as soon as he saw your wobbly lips forcing him to apologize for making you cry.
But he thought you were manipulative for crying?
“You think i’m manipulative?” You said in a small voice.
“Yes! Look at you right now sobbing when we’re in the middle of the fight to make me feel bad.” He barked at you red eyes narrowing.
“I didn’t mean it to be…I just cry easy.” You said unable to look him in the eye, your vision blurred with tears blinking sadly at the floor.
“I get it,” He sighed,” that doesn’t mean you’re not manipulative.”
He was right, “I…i’m sorry i’ll stop.” You said not even remembering what the fight was about.
Katsuki saw how defeated you were looking and all the anger in his chest disappeared. He wanted a fight not for you to be his punching bag.
Both of you stopped the fight and tried to move on so neither one of you went to bed angry. The next couple of days you reminded yourself to keep your emotions in check. You had a terrible day at work, a supervisor yelling at you for a co-worker's mistake and a customer screamed at you not even 20 minutes later over the same mistake. You were crying over the stove, cooking dinner for the both of you. Katsuki came home with a groan and the door shut signaling he was back from work. You quickly wiped your face hearing him enter.
“Baby are you in the kitchen?” He called out
Clearing your throat you answered, “Yea i’m here.”
He wrapped his arms around your waist placing his face in your neck with a kiss.
“What’s wrong?” He said in a gruff voice tired from when work. He could tell from your back something was wrong.
You wiped your face again, “Nothing I was just chopping onions.”
He looked down at the meal and saw no onions but didn’t say anything. “Okay, thanks for cooking.” He said, “I’m getting undressed.” Pressing two hard kisses on your cheek before walking off.
You finished dinner and tried to splash some water on your face to stop the puffiness.
You came back to the table emotions in check and face straight with him across from you. Playing with the food you could feel his eyes on you but you ignored him still feeling how watery your eyes are.
“How was your day?” He said moving seats from across to next to you. Pulling your legs over his with a cheek kiss.
“It was fine how was yours,” you said picking at your food trying to not think about your day. Offering him a small smile.
Fortunately Bakugo was in a talkative mood talking about one of his rough villians today. You nodded along happy that he was the one talking.
He stopped talking to study your face and he frowned, “Are you sure you’re okay? You have this look on your face. You look sad.” He stroked your face with his large finger trying to warm you up. You froze at his reading of you when you promised yourself you would be better, you straightened your back out pulling from him. “No nothings wrong im glad you came back safe.”
He studied your face but let it go. You cleaned up the kitchen as your boyfriend stretched and walked out the kitchen.
Bakugo flopped on the couch arms open for you to crawl into.
“Do you want to watch the notebook it’s been a while since you’ve seen it I know it’s your favorite.” He said trying to cheer you up. You did cry but you always had a small smile on your face for the rest of the night.
"Why are you smiling, weren't you just bawling," Katsuki asked looking down at you with his red eyes as you snuggled into his chest now wet with your tears.
"I dont know...it's sad that she forgets. But love is so beautiful and they have it. He never gave up on her and loved her no matter what. They got to build a life together and grow old and die together." You mumbled looking up at him your chin gently resting on his chest as he rubbed your back.
"I love you." Katsuki said squeezing you extra tight and rolling on top of you making you groan.
"Youre so heavy."
"Shut up."
Your lips pressed together as you tiredly stared at the screen. It was your favorite but it also made you bawl and Katsuki had to hold you as you calmed down.
“No I’ll watch by myself later I know you don’t like it.” You said moving the cursor to a different genre, more his speed.
There was definitely something wrong, Katsuki thought.
You never said no to The Notebook and you would always cry to him about how he better spend his days with you when you’re both old even if one of can't remember. You switched to an Allmight movie he loves and laid back down cuddling him. As emotional as you were you were also very observant. Knowing what ways to distract your boyfriend and fake a poker face. It had just been a while and you were easing back into it.
Bakugo with his arms smothering you with his large biceps telling you facts about Allmight that made you smile as the movie rolled.
“See right there, in the corner that’s the same design i had in my room for my action figure.”
“I had this one poster when I was a kid that was made from this scene.”
You nodded along humming to let him know you were still listening.
No one else got to see him be so dorky about his hero except you and it warmed your heart. Eventually you dragged him to bed and held him close as you both fell asleep. The next couple weeks it was unnatural to you. Burying your emotions down in an exhausting time. It was hard but you would do anything for your relationship. Bakugo had taken notice at you not expressing emotions with him and it freaked him out but he was unable to say how. You could cry up to 3 times a day just crying or complaining to him going to him for comfort. Now you would just stare off into space in your own world around him. The only time he did hear you cry was on accident. He had woke up to clamor out of bed to go pee and hop back into bed. As Bakugo returned he noticed you weren’t there at 3am. Before he thought to panic he walked out to the living room to see your guest bathroom light on. The door was closed but he could hear you crying your eyes out.
He knocked on the door, fully awake to your noises now and ready to cuddle you until you felt better.
“Baby what’s going on?” He said in a gruff voice with sleep still mixed in.
You froze from the bathroom floor at your boyfriends voice.
You quickly wiped your tears and swung open the door, “A nightmare I didn’t want to wake you.” You said with the saddest eyes too tired to try and put on a neutral face.
Work was getting to you, badly. And you had no one to talk to anymore. So you ended up sneaking out of bed to cry on the other side of the house to not wake him.
He rubbed your arms up and down pushing you into him. “Cmere baby.” He said kissing your head.
You leaned into him for a minute before remembering.
“I’m..okay now.” You said weakly, moving away from him and walking to the bedroom.
Katsuki frowned and grabbed your hand to pull you to turn.
“Yes?” You asked
“What’s wrong?” He said trying to get you to talk to him.
“…I’m fine I’m just dramatic.” You said, “A nightmare let’s go to bed.”
He sighed not believing you but following you back to bed extremely tired from patrol.
He trapped you in his arms so you wouldn’t escape him again and both of you drifted off to sleep. Katsuki became buried in work for the next couple days and you missed your boyfriend. It was like you were falling into a deeper and deeper hole as time went on with no escape. Even if you couldn’t express your emotions around him anymore didn’t mean you didn’t love him any less. You decided to stop by the agency after a really hard shift just to see his face hoping it would make you feel better. Walking through the lobby to his receptionist only to be told he was pulled away for an emergency.
Feeling your eyes burn you blinked back tears of frustration.
Katsuki’s receptionist was scrolling on her computer trying to figure out when he would be back for you and you felt a hand tap your shoulder. You turned and Izuku was smiling down at you. One of your good friends since Katsuki introduced the both of you.
“Hey y/n how are you?” He said with a warm smile.
“Izu! I missed you,” You said avoiding his question and giving him a hug.
He happily accepted hugging you back. “I know you’re here for Kacchan but he’s on an emergency right now, but you can always come back to my office and wait for him. We can catch up?” He said. He noticed how fidgety you were at the receptionist’s desk knowing something was wrong.
“Thanks that’s really sweet of you.” You said taking his offer and walking with him to his office.
Izuku and you talked about his girlfriend he had just started to date and how it was going as you sat next to him on the couch he crashed on during late nights.
“It’s going really good I can’t believe she said yes to me, still.” He admitted rubbing the back of his neck with a blush dusting his cheeks at the thought of his girlfriend.
You couldn’t help but smile at how cute it was, Izuku being so bashful about the girl he was starting to fall for.
“Izuku she said yes because you’re a great guy and from what I’m hearing you’re a good boyfriend so stop thinking like that. You two like each other and that’s all that matters.” You reassured your friend already knowing all those doubts were swirling in his mind.
He let out a sigh of relief, “You always know what to say to make me feel better.”
“What are friends for,” You shrugged
Izuku studied for a moment before speaking, “What’s wrong y/n.”
Eyebrows furrowing you were confused, “What do you mean?”
“I saw you at the desk, and I know you better than most. There’s something wrong, and if you want to discuss it with Kacchan i’ll respect that. But know that i’m also here for you.” He said gently putting a hand on your shoulder.
You pressed your lips together trying to stop your chin from wobbling but the tears started to fall against your will.
Damn it
You were doing so well
Stop crying it’s stupid
“It’s that obvious huh,” You said with a cracking voice.
Izuku brought his hand from your shoulder to around both pulling you into his chest as you cried, shaking.
You pulled away after a minute or two wiping your face. “I’m sorry, I’ve been doing so good I thought I had it under control but it’s just…so hard.” Mumbling but Izuku caught every word.
“What’s wrong what are you talking about.” Izuku said gently
“I…if I tell you can you not tell him please?”
Izuku nodded, “It’ll be just us I promise.”
You rubbed your face in your hands letting tears run before taking one solid breath.
“We got in a fight a couple weeks ago. And I was crying while we were…yelling. Kats said I was manipulative with my emotions and crying. I said I would work on it and I was sorry I didn’t know my crying and emotions had that effect on him, and it’s been…s-so hard. Everything in my life is terrible right now, my job, my family and I can’t even talk to him anymore. It’s been so difficult keeping my emotions in check around him. I can’t talk to him or be expressive; be myself around him but I know it’s the only way the relationship will work. I never, ever wanted him to feel like I was manipulating him. I just feel so guilty about it.” Tears stream down your face, “I’ll get over it soon though, it’s a hard transition.”
Izuku watching your body look so hopeless and small as you cried he felt terrible.
Izuku had seen you and Katsuki together and understood the dynamic. Katsuki was known for having a tough exterior and any emotion other than anger was difficult for him. You on the other hand were very emotional. Izuku thought you two were a good match balancing each other, but as of recently, that wasn’t the case.
“I’m…i’m so sorry y/n. But you know he loves you, maybe if you talk to him about how you’re feeling.” He suggested.
You shook your head, “He has enough problems without that. It doesn’t matter how I feel. And he already told me how he feels about the situation, there would be no point…I just need to adjust no matter how hard it is.” You felt your phone buzz underneath you and it was your boyfriend letting you know he was back in the office from an emergency.
His receptionist obviously calling him that you were here when you had left her desk.
You wiped your face again, “He’s back I gotta go.”
Izuku nodded unsure of what to say and walked you out of his office.
You hugged him and he hugged right back feeling worried
“I’m sorry I’m talking about my problems. You’re a good friend.” You pulled away and Izuku wiped a tear falling down your cheek. “Anytime okay? Know that i’m here for you, even when you want to cry your eyes out on my couch.” He lightly joked
A tiny laugh escape you, “Bring your girlfriend over soon for dinner! I would love to meet the girl you’re falling for.” You said and he nodded.
Watching you walk away Izuku could feel nothing but worry and sadness for you. Your entire aura was sad and tired.
Katsuki was stretching in the locker room of the agency with Kirishima walking in the door surprised to see him here.
“What are you doing here man? I thought you’d be with y/n.”
Katsuki frowned at his words, “What do you mean?”
“I just saw her crying with Izuku in front of his office. Thought she would go over to you?” Kirishima innocently said confused.
Katsuki immediately got up and left to find you. He texted he was back but he thought you would be in his office.
Why were you crying?
Why were you with Izuku?
Not even knocking on the door he swung open Izuku’s door to find you scaring his green-haired friend.
“Where is she?” He said with a scowl and angry red eyes.
Izuku recovering from his door almost ripped off the hinges blinked at him, “She went to go find you after you texted her”
“She was crying? Why?” He said seething at the thought of you upset
“Um…I don’t know.” Izuku said keeping his word to not tell Katsuki.
“Useless fuck.” Katsuki grumbled slamming the door behind him to go find you
He called you and you picked up on the second ring, “Where are you?”
“I’m in your office stealing your snacks.” You said causally on the phone and it confused him.
Weren’t you crying?
" Okay, I’ll be there soon.”
He walked into his office and you were sprawled out on a chair on your phone.
In the time you took to go to the office, you forced yourself to calm down, wiped your running makeup, and became ready to see your boyfriend
He leaned down kissing your head lifting you from the seat. To have you sit on his lap as he held you.
“How was the emergency?” You said.
“Dumbass villians but I took them down.” He said.
“You’re not hurt are you?”
“No im not babydoll.” He said gruffly. Katsuki trying to bring up you crying but not knowing how.
Why were you crying to Izuku but fine with him?
“Good, I missed you. Thanks for the hug.” You said giving him a kiss ready to move off his lap but he moved his big arm around you keeping you in place.
“What’s wrong?” He said studying your face
“What do you mean?” You said confused
“You were crying earlier Kirishima saw you.” He said his red eyes going back and forth with your own.
“Oh…it was stupid it doesn’t matter.”
“But i want to know,” He insisted
You felt your heart squeeze, you couldn’t tell him you were sobbing to Izuku because of him and how unhappy you were. “A rude client today at work,” You said with a sad smile.
Katsuki could tell you were lying but didn’t say anything.
“Okay I gotta go to the store and pick up for dinner. Do you want anything?” You wanted to leave.
He sighed, “No and it’s my turn for dinner remember.”
You moved to get up again and he trapped you in his arms.
He began kissing up your neck and face, “I love you, you know that? You can talk to me.” He said seriously trying to pry whatever was bothering you out of your tight grasp, to let him in.
You brought both your hands up to his pale face and kissed him, “I love you more.”
You had to, to be destroying little pieces of yourself for him.
After dinner, you climbed into bed with him next to you. He was reading a book with his reading glasses when your phone was buzzing from an incoming phone call. You picked up the call to your sister crying her eyes out making you alert.
“What’s wrong?” You asked worried trying to comfort her
“Luna is dead, she died in her sleep but she’s dead.” Your sister sobbed and you felt your heart drop.
The childhood pet you’ve had since you were 5 was dead.
She was your favorite thing in the world.
“What…” You whispered feeling the pit in your stomach widen.
“I know she’s old but I thought we had more time.” Your sister cried.
Feeling stuck, like all the energy in your body was gone you hung up the phone.
Bakugo at this point heard screaming on the phone and put down his book to see you staring off into space with a drained expression on your face.
“Y/n.” He said softly touching your arm.
Humming a small noise to let him know you acknowledged him.
“Y/n what’s going on baby?” He said rubbing your back.
You forced back the tears in your eyes, “My childhood dog died.” You said in the most monotone voice.
“What? Jesus i’m sorry.” He said sitting up to try and hold you. But you were stiff and leaning away from him, “I have to use the bathroom.”
You locked yourself in the bathroom and quietly cried. After 20 minutes Bakugo got up and gently knocked on the door.
“Baby come on. Please come out. I can hold you like you love.” Bakugo said in an almost begging tone.
It had been little things he had observed of you being less emotional but he never thought it was this bad. You couldn’t even cry in front of him or let him hold you? Even when it was this bad? You were shaking on the floor in a ball crying,
“I’m fine please…just go away.”
You wanted, no needed, to just cry. Not feeling guilty about how that affected him. Bakugo reluctantly left and you slept on the floor of the bathroom that night only wanting to be with your baby who you would never see again. Bakugo barely slept just watching the bathroom door and realizing how badly he had fucked up. Around 7am when his alarm went off you woke up to crusted eyes on the floor.
You finally crawled your way out of the bathroom to your boyfriend walking in with a coffee in his hand. Not even having the energy to stand.
Your order from Starbucks in his hand. His hand engulfing the large cup.
“Y/n- oh you’re out of the bathroom.” He placed the cup on your nightstand and pulled you to your feet. He gently put his hand on the back of your head to hug you. Leaning into him before pulling away. You fell back into bed throwing a cover over your head.
“I got you your drink.” He said slowly rubbing your back and you let out a small groan.
He hated Starbucks but went to for you to make you feel better. Loathed it as he had told you many times complaining whenever you made him go. Hated the lines, your fancy drink order, and the number of people but he went for you.
“I…i have to go to work but i’m coming to check on you at lunch okay? Breakfast is on the counter and I already called your work that you wouldn’t be coming in.” He said.
One thing about Katsuki is he was great at acts of service. He pulled back the blanket to see your face. Broken expression and a blank sad stare in your eyes focused on the wall. Katsuki stroked your hair and gave you a kiss. “I love you okay? Try to get out of bed today for me.”
You shut your eyes at his words, just waiting for him to leave.
He sighed and left the apartment.
You slept most of the day not wanting to be up. Wanting to wither away into nothingness, never to be bothered again. Letting sadness that at most times was a small wave at your feet turned into a deep dark hole where you struggled to not drown.
Katsuki came in to work in a sour mood that everyone could tell to steer far from him. That is except his best friend who was so used to his moods. Izuku saw that Katsuki wasn’t angry even if that what appeared. He was frustrated and he looked worried. Izuku knew he only sported this look when it came to you.The only person Katsuki cared about more than anything.
As the briefing for the next big mission came to a close Izuku caught up to the foul mouthed blond.
“Hey Kacchan.” He said expecting a frown at his greeting
Katsuki was in his head so busy thinking about you, he didn’t even manage to turn down his lips at Izuku.
Only focusing on what he could do to help you.
He had noticed the change in your behavior in the recent weeks and it concerned him. Now dealing with death he was worried for you. You weren’t in the best place mentally and seeing you so drained this morning not even able to walk to bed was scaring him.
“What is it.” He sniped at Izuku as they walked down the glass hallway.
“How are you? How’s y/n. I talked to her a couple days ago and just wanted to check in.” Izuku said trying to set up an open discussion for Katsuki to help him talk about his problems. To help you.
Katsuki scowled at Izuku’s mention of you remembering that you cried to him.
Him
Izuku
But you locked yourself in the bathroom these days and pulled away from his hugs when he tried to comfort you. He walked into his office knowing Izuku was following him and sat at his desk, sucking his teeth. Izuku sat down across from him waiting.
“She’s shutting down on me. She won’t talk to me or let me comfort her. I don’t know what I did.” Bakugo admitted
“What happened?” Izuku asked
“I don’t know you tell me. She was crying to you last week. What the hell was that.” Katsuki almost barked at Izuku
“She felt bad and needed to cry. So I let her. She just needed someone to be there for her. I didn’t do anything.” Izuku said carefully not wanting to give away what you had begged him to not say.
“When did she start to pull away?” Izuku said trying to make Katsuki see the connection of his words and your actions.
Katsuki pressed his thumb and finger in between his eyebrows trying to focus on when the change started.
“I get it,” He sighed,” that doesn’t mean you’re not manipulative.”
“I…i’m sorry i’ll stop.” You said
Bakugo froze at the memory. Oh god what had he done.
“We had a fight. And I told her… I told her she was manipulative for crying. And she said she would stop” He said feeling his heart drop into his stomach.
Winning that one fight had caused this much damage? Bakugo felt his stomach twisting.
Izuku sighed, “She doesn’t feel comfortable with you anymore.”
Bakugo let out a shaky breath at his words. “Get the fuck out.” He said bitterly and Izuku got up and left without a word.
Bakugo picked up the phone filling his eyes sting.
Come on baby pick up
Please
Reaching your voicemail, Bakugo looked up at the ceiling shaking his head.
You stopped. Stop crying. Stop talking to him.
Stop coming to him.
Bakugo wanted nothing but to be there for you, protect, love and cherish you.
And he had pushed you away. He knew how sensitive you were and how everyone diminished your feelings constantly since you were a child. And he called you manipulative making you recoil.
He felt sick at the thought of you needing him and he wasn’t there for you.
Leaving you.
It was his fault.
He looked at the clock and saw it was lunchtime. Bakugo rushing to the apartment as he had promised earlier. Seeing the untouched breakfast sitting on the counter. You were sleeping, taking a nap, exhausted from crying so hard.
Gently shaking you awake he saw you open your puffy bloodshot eyes.
“Y/n. Baby.” He said softly.
You blinked at him tired. Your boyfriend was home.
“Can you sit up for me.” Katsuki asked
You shook your head pounding from a headache. You were dehydrated from crying.
Katsuki sighed.
He walked out of your eyeline and you closed your eyes. Katsuki coming only to check on you. He was leaving.
When you felt a weight on the other side of the mattress and Katsuki wrapping his arms around you engulfing your body with his.
You didn’t move just taking shaky breaths.
Katuski feeling how you trembled in his hold.
“You don’t have to do this. I’m fine.” You said in a shaky voice staring at the wall. Squeezing your eyes shut hoping he would just go away.
You felt guilt swimming in your stomach at him holding you.
You promised yourself you would work on your emotions.
“I know.” He said behind you but not moving snuggling closer to you holding you in his arms.
You began to hyperventilate at his touch.
“Please. Stop. We agreed…I would work on this.” You said beginning to breakdown unable to stop. Tears streaming and shaky breaths racking your body as your boyfriend held you ignoring your words.
He knew you better than anyone. These walls you were putting up were no match for him and how much he loved you.
Katsuki gently turned your body to face him and held the back of your head to his chest. You sobbed into his chest until you tired yourself out
You woke up to Katsuki stroking your head holding you in bed as the tv played on a low volume.
Stiffening in his hold you pulled yourself away from him.
“I..I’m sorry it won’t happen again," You said realizing what you had done, "I meant what I said. I’m working on it.”
He looked at you, confusion flashing over his features before sadness.
“Baby…you don’t have to. I don’t mind-. You can come to me you know that right.” Bakugo said struggling to find the words at your fragile state.
You shook your head feeling tears coming but forcing them down. “No…no, I can’t. I don’t want to manipulate you even if I don’t mean to.”
“You’re not.” He said heartbroken at your shaking form. Seeing you punish yourself with your thoughts of coming to him was hurting him. He slowly tried to reach out his hand and you almost flinched.
“I am and I…I can’t lose you. If that means I can’t come to you anymore I’ll do it. I never wanted to hurt you and I have. And I keep making mistakes but I can’t do that with you, with us. I can’t lose you too. I slipped up. I promise I’ll do better.” You said holding yourself from him
Bakugo watching you destroy yourself because of him. In shock at your words.
He grabbed you before you could protest hugging you into him.
And words he rarely said left his lips.
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”
“What did I do?” He whispered into your scalp as you shook and hyperventilated.
“I'm not leaving you, and I was mad when I said it. I love you I’m not going to leave you if you act emotional. You can cry to me forever if you want. I love you no matter what and I need you to come to me when you feel bad.” He said, feeling like the worst partner in the world.
“You don’t think I’m manipulative, you’re not going to leave.” You said with wobbly lips and the saddest eyes he had ever seen.
As if he could ever leave you.
“No baby, I'm not leaving. I can’t. I need you.”
That broke the damn and you cried even harder as he held you closer rubbing your back.
“I missed you.” You said in between shaky breaths into his chest.
“I'm sorry baby. I'm here now.”
765 notes · View notes
lvscoups · 2 years ago
Text
just friends ; choi seungcheol x reader
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summary choi seungcheol's been your best friend since elementary school, and now you're both eighteen, about to leave for university. the last thing that you want is to go to university as a virgin, so he offers to take your virginity. surely this won't make either of you question your feelings for each other, right? wc 5k tags slow burn, childhood best friends to lovers (somewhat), barb seungcheol, underage drinking/smoking, pwp, virgin!reader, loss of virginity, afab!reader, 18+ MINORS DNI
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eighteen. what an age- when you were thirteen, you thought that by now you’d have a hot, popular boyfriend, have gone to hundreds of parties, have a huge friend group who would all go to the mall and travel together, and maybe even have a scholarship to harvard. but you started university in three months and you had nothing to show for it. it would keep you up at night, all the dreams you had when you were younger, and how few came true. you only had a couple of friends, a shitty job at a convenience store, and the last party you’d gone to was for your niece’s 8th birthday. what weighed on your mind the most, though, was that you still didn’t have a boyfriend- and you were still a virgin. university was your last shot to really live out those dreams, to go to parties, hook up with strangers, go clubbing.. but, god, the last thing you wanted was to lose your virginity to some random person you’d meet at a house party. but high school was over, and, really, what relationship could you establish with a man in a couple of months that would make him someone you’d want to lose your virginity to?
“seungcheol’s here for you!” your mom yelled from the kitchen. you came running to the front door with a smile on your face- he’s back from his vacation, fucking finally. “so we’re going to the beach?” you asked as soon as you saw him. “yeah, i think miles and his girl are coming, rosie is bringing some people too.” he smiled. “are you ready or are you gonna make me wait an hour again?” “the latter, i didn’t think you’d be coming so early.” he follows you to your room, sitting on the side of your bed as you pack. oh, choi seungcheol. your best friend since… sixth grade? you’ve watched him come and go through different relationships- he was someone you envied, living the guy version of the life you wanted for yourself. out of the handful of house parties you’d been to, he’d dragged you to almost all of them. you didn’t know what you’d do without him, he was always there for you, the one who introduced you to almost all of your friends, who would help you cheat on tests. without him, you’d be regretting your high school experience even more. “let’s go?” you pull your duffel bag over your shoulder, looking at him. “finally,”
he was one of the only people you knew who had his own car- his father got it for him for his seventeenth birthday. it wasn’t the best, but it was really nice. you were pretty sure it was a ford or something similar because it had one of those big open trunks people use to put wood and furniture in. no idea why he needed one of those, because he was always showing off how he was strong enough to carry anything by himself, but it was still cool. the two of you would put pillows and blankets in it and lay down, talking and drinking together, listening to music on your cheap bluetooth speaker. you got into his car, leaving your duffle bag at your feet, setting up your playlist and the aux while he started up the car. “i can’t believe you didn’t take me with you to the bahamas, you bitch.” you joked. “luggage costs are crazy, i already spend so much money on you,” he teased back. “it’s an hour drive to the beach, by the way.” “no problem,” after your playlist started up, the two of you drove in silence, partially. there was some small talk about the bahamas and a lot of you singing along to nicki minaj, who seungcheol always managed to sneak into the queue. “me and kim broke up,” seungcheol said during a particularly quiet song, his eyes still on the road. “and you didn’t tell me?” you replied, looking over at him with a shocked expression on your face. “yeah, i dunno. it just didn’t…” he trailed off. “it wasn’t a big deal to me.” “i liked her! remember when she gave you all those leftover cookies from… was it her church’s bake sale?” “yeah, i guess.” he stared off. “she was nice, i dunno why it didn’t affect me.” “god, remember when you broke up with sierra? that was fucking crazy.” you turned back, looking at the road, too. “sorry. why’d you…?” “it was her.” “shit, sorry.” “no, no, it’s fine, really. i lost interest and stopped talking to her as much and we called about it and decided to break it off.” “just like that?” “well not just like that. it wasn’t like i stopped talking to her all of a sudden.” he turned to you, smiling. “use your brain, dumbass.” “school is over, i don’t need to do that anymore.” you laughed. “but really, that’s crazy. i’m glad it’s not… bad, but, like, you two dated for a while.” “i wouldn’t say three months is that long,” he replied. “at least i’ll have a hot boy summer, or something. ewww, sorry. that was so bad.” “it was. but you’re right, have fun! emma’s single now, too. maybe you two can get together.” “i think i’m fine. i don’t know if i even want a girlfriend right now. maybe i’ll meet some hot twenty year old at uni. who knows.” he paused. “is emma really single?”
he turned onto a more bumpy, dirt road, and soon the sounds of the waves and music came closer and closer until the beach came into view. “parking’s gonna be a fucking nightmare.” he sighed, looking at the hundreds of cars parked throughout the parking lot. you picked up your phone, unplugging the aux cord to call rosie. “where is everybody?” you asked, putting the phone on speaker. “we’re near the playground and this barbeque thing. leia, where are we?” you could hear some people talking in the background. “leia’s sending a photo to you right now. bye!” “bye,” you hung up. “here, there’s a photo of the map… we’re at the entrance, right? we need to take a left until we see a washroom. can we stop at the washroom? i really need to pee.” “okay, be quick, though.”
after another half hour, you finally parked. “what did we bring?” you asked seungcheol as you both stepped out of the car. “just drinks and our swim stuff. don’t worry, just go ahead- i’ll carry everything.” you took your duffle bag and trudged through the sand- your cheap dollar store flip flops felt like they would break at any moment during the long journey, your heels burning every time they would touch even a bit of sand. “hey!” you called out, waving to everybody once you finally found them. “y/n!!” rosie replied, getting up and running to hug you, making you both fall on the ground. “ow, shit!” you exclaimed, getting up and laughing off the burning pain of the sand hitting your back. “sorry we took so long- cheol is on his way with everything. parking was crazy.” “can’t relate, we’ve all been here since six,” leia laughed. “miles and the other guys are in the water, we were gonna get lunch soon if you wanna come, though.” “i dunno, i think i might just settle in first. get comfy.” “totally fair, we can wait for you.” leia looked over to the water, where you could make out a bunch of guys swimming and splashing each other with water. “i don’t think the guys are getting out anytime soon, so don’t worry at all.” “thanks,” and then you heard seungcheol’s voice- well, his whine. “the sand…” he groaned, trudging towards you. when he finally reached you, he dropped the blue cooler and other bags down on the ground. “shit! that was torture…” “your fault for not asking for help.” you said, opening one of the bags and taking out a beach towel, laying it on the ground. “come on, sit down. tell the girls the news!” “what news?” rosie asked excitedly. “yeah what- oh,” seungcheol said. “it’s really not a big deal, y/n. me and kim broke up, that’s all.” “WHAT?” leia shouted. “tell me everything!” you got comfortable, sitting cross-legged under an umbrella while you listened to seungcheol recount everything.
“can someone help me with my sunscreen?” you asked. “rosie?” you turned onto your back and wiggled your shoulders. “no, you perv!” she laughed. you pouted jokingly before seungcheol approached you. “you can’t do anything by yourself, huh?” he teased, taking the bottle of sunscreen and opening it, putting some on your back and rubbing it in. “nevermind, seungcheol’s definitely the perv,” rosie replied. he laughed, and you closed your eyes, your head resting in your hands as you let the sun warm your body, waiting for seungcheol to finish. after a while, he hit your back gently a couple of times. “you’re welcome.” “thanks?” you replied, getting up. “let’s swim?” you asked the rest of the group. rosie and leia got up, taking off their sandals and flip-flops, agreeing immediately. “i’ll watch everybody’s stuff, since nobody else will.” seungcheol replied, sighing and crossing his arms dramatically. “thank you!!” you all called out to him as you ran off to the water.
the sun had set, and the air had gotten cooler. it was dark outside as you all laid together on the beach towels, the big, blue cooler seungcheol had brought now half empty. of course, seungcheol hadn’t drank a thing, despite his seemingly endless whining about just how bad he wanted to drink, how jealous he was of everyone who was drinking, how he wished you could drive.. it just went on and on. you hadn’t drunk, either, in forced solidarity with him. neither had miles’ girlfriend, bea, who was everyone else’s designated driver. you and seungcheol were lying down together, both wide awake from the chocolate starbucks doubleshot you’d shared an hour before. you both stared up at the sky. “it’s, like, two months until you leave.” seungcheol remarked. “a little less, right?” “yeah, but same thing. i can’t process it.” “i wish you’d been accepted. we could have gone together, rent a studio apartment. it’d look so cool. you’d have one side and it’d be, like, red or something, and mine would be… i dunno. it’d be cool.” “we should. maybe i’ll go online and move with you.” “that’d be so cool.” “i can’t imagine what it’ll be like without you.” “you can still call me. it’s not like i’m dying, stupid.” “yeah, but… you know.” “yeah,” silence. you shifted your attention somewhat to the conversation the rest of the people were having- something about how prom went, but you couldn’t really focus on it. “i’m leaving high school as a virgin.” you said, breaking the silence. “oh my god, you are. holy shit, that’s hilarious.” he started laughing. “i have no idea what i’m gonna do.” “what do you mean? you’re not gonna be the forty-year-old virgin or something. you’ll just lose your virginity to some college guy.” “i don’t really want that.” “don’t you wanna have fun in college? you mentioned that a lot.” “yeah, duh. but i don’t wanna lose my virginity to some random man.” “too late for you to not do that. you shoulda tried to get a boyfriend before high school ended.” “ugh, you don’t get it.” “what don’t i get?” “i dunno. this is weird.” more silence, but from the corner of your eye you saw him nod.
“what did you mean, about all of that stuff you were talking about earlier?” he asked on your way to the car. “what stuff?” “me not getting you wanting to lose your virginity or something. or not wanting to lose your virginity.” “oh.” you paused. “like, i dunno. i kinda wish i had a boyfriend or something. like i had had more of a life in high school. and now i have to just settle for losing my virginity to some guy i’ll probably never talk to again.” “isn’t that what you want?” “no, that’s what you don’t get. like i wanna have fun and, like, hook up with people or whatever. but i don’t wanna lose my virginity to a random person. that’s different.” “yeah, i get that.” “but, like, in a month and a half, you can’t really get a boyfriend. even if i did, i don’t wanna lose my virginity to someone i’ve known for less than two months.” “yeah.” you got in the car and waited as he started the engine. in the meantime, you set up the aux again. after a while, he broke the silence. “i can do it.” he said. “what?” “i’ll do it. if you want me to,” he added. “there’s so many weirdos out there. if they find out you’re a virgin they might, like, take advantage of you or something. we can do it, get it over with, you know?” you paused. it wasn’t a comfortable silence. “sorry. i don’t wanna overstep a boundary or anything.” he added, again. “no, no you didn’t. well you did but not in a weird way or anything. it’s just…” “yeah, i get it. i’m sorry.” “no, no, no. seriously, you’re fine. i’m not opposed to that idea or anything.” “yeah?” “yeah.. i mean, it’s better than what you said- losing my virginity to a weirdo or something.” “so then…?” “it’ll be weird, but let’s do it. i might change my mind but for now, let’s do it. yeah.”
you’d never thought of seungcheol in that way. maybe in your darkest, most desperate hours, but that was it. it wasn’t like you didn’t take notice to how huge his biceps were, or his fucking crazy jawline, or how perfectly everything on his face complimented each other, but.. you did that platonically. it would just be weird to do that. but now that the two of you had agreed to have sex together, you assumed nothing could be weirder than that. so you tried to will yourself to like him, or that’s what you told yourself. it wasn’t gonna be an enjoyable first time if you didn’t at least have some attraction to him, you thought. so you’d find yourself thinking about him a lot. at night, your mind would wander to his hands, his arms, and sometimes your fingers would brush against your clothed pussy, playing with it, imagining it was him. of course, it was all a part of your effort to have your ideal first time, at least, as ideal as it could be, considering it was with your best friend and not your imaginary boyfriend, and after high school had ended. you assumed sex was better when you were attracted to the person it was with, so it only made sense to create some attraction to him.
“have you ever.. thought about what you wanted?” the two of you were relaxing in the back of his car, where he’d put up pillows and blankets again. you’d brought some chips, and the two of you were drinking and eating, talking about whatever. “like, sexually?” you replied. “i guess. i mean for your first time.” “i don’t know. something romantic, in a bed, at night. i don’t wanna eat food first- i think that’s kinda gross. kissing someone after eating? ew..” “is that really it?” “yeah, i guess. i don’t really mind the rest.” “okay, okay.” he nodded. “i don’t wanna ask too many questions, it’s just… i wanna make sure that it’s special.” you blushed. “thank you,”
you’d arranged a date- the twelfth of august. you were leaving by the twentieth, so it seemed like a good time. it was the last day of july when you made the decision, and you found time flying by. seungcheol came over a lot more than he usually did, which was already a lot- he was your best friend, after all. as the twelfth grew closer and closer, you began to notice smaller things, like the way his eyes would linger on your chest and the flush that would appear on his face when you two were especially close. you pretended like you didn’t see it, the same way you assumed he pretended he didn’t see you looking at his arms a little too long when he crossed them. it was all a part of your shared, unspoken effort to make your first time more enjoyable, of course. the two of you were friends. just friends.
he’d invited you to the birthday party his family was having, but you didn’t feel like intruding on something like that, so instead you went to the party miles was throwing for him that night. bea picked you up in her car- you were nervous about the ride if you were being honest. it was the first time you’d ever driven in her car and you’d heard that she’d had to pay for the entire repair fee for her mom’s car after she got into a car accident. she swore that she’d learned her lesson but you would be lying if you said you weren’t scared out of your mind every time she took a turn. the party was small, with just your friend group and then some other friends, and then friends of friends. you stuck with leia, sitting beside her and listening to her talk about the date she’d gone on the day before. eventually, leia ran off with another guy, and you went to the front porch. two girls were sitting on the front chairs, and you took a cigarette they offered you. you weren’t a smoker, but you didn’t have anything else to do. you recognized the one who offered you the cig as bea’s sister- it was crazy how similar they looked. same hair, same nose, same lips, except she was at least five inches shorter than bea. after a while, seungcheol came out to the porch, too. you began to sing happy birthday to him, and the other girls joined in, too. after clapping, he asked you, “what’s up?” “huh?” “i was looking for you, i haven’t seen you this whole time. where were you?” “oh,” you paused, stubbing out your cigarette on the ashtray in between the two girls. “i was hanging out with leia, then i came here. i didn’t wanna be in your way, it’s your party.” “we’ve been friends six years, come on. you can’t be serious.” he moved away to another corner, out of earshot from the other girls. “come on,” he whispered. you followed him. “you’re friends with everyone else here, too. it’s kinda weird to just stick to your side the whole time. i don’t wanna seem like that kinda person.” “okay, fair, but i don’t think the people here think you’re like that. they all know you.” “okay, okay.” you said, holding his hand. “let’s go back, then.”
it was on the ninth, while you were at his house, eating leftover pizza and watching youtube, when he put his hand on your thigh. he was talking to you about a game he’d started playing, putting his pizza down so he could really tell you about it, and when the conversation drifted off into something else, his hand was still there. you knew if you did anything even slightly implying you were uncomfortable, he’d move it- seungcheol was always looking out for you. you let his hand rest there for a while until he had to get up to grab something. while he was gone, you thought to yourself about it. by the time he was back, you’d made up an excuse for everything- including an excuse for why you gently moved his hand back to the same spot it was before.
august eleventh, he came over. he was sitting on your floor, head resting against your bed, which you were lying down on. “you’re sure about tomorrow?” he asked. looking up at you. “yeah. why wouldn’t i be?” “i just wanna make sure.” he smiled. “no pressure at all.”
and then it was nine p.m., august twelfth. your parents were conveniently gone for the night, to a family friend’s house to celebrate something or other. you didn’t know and, honestly, you were so nervous that you didn’t really care. he knocked at your door and you nearly fell on your way there. “hi,” “hi.” he leaned against the doorframe slightly, smiling. “you’re sure?” “yeah.” you both made your way to your room, your face hot. “i’m sorry, i have no idea what to do… i thought we could watch a movie or something?” “yeah, of course.” he sat down on your bed. “don’t worry about it, really.” you sat down beside him, grabbing your laptop and opening up netflix. after you settled on a movie to watch, you both got comfortable and you hesitantly rest your head on his shoulder. to say it was awkward would be an understatement. it was petrifying. your palms were sweaty and your heart was racing and this was all before he even touched you. it was an hour into the movie when he put his hand on your thigh again. it was summer, so you were in shorts, which made the sensation all the more incredible, you felt his hand move up slowly until he was toying with the hem of your shorts. “can i take them off?” he whispered in your ear. “yeah,” you put the laptop down on the far edge of your bed, and he slid your shorts off, holding up your legs just slightly. you turned to look at him, and there was his face. maybe it was the adrenaline rush or maybe it was something more, but you closed your eyes and soon found your lips on his. you’d had your first kiss already, but this time it was different. you found yourself melting into the kiss, your hands in his hair his hands cupping your face, before you felt his hands moving and you shifted on top of him. he pulled away. “is this okay?” he asked. “yes,” you whispered, pulling him back into the kiss and letting him put his hands under your shirt. the sensation of his hands on your breasts left you feeling even more horny, grinding down onto his crotch. eventually, you pulled away, standing up on your knees and slowly sliding his jeans off of him. he took the opportunity to gently push you onto your back, getting on top of you. he kissed you one more time before slowly leaving kisses all over your body, moving from your face to behind your ear to your neck, sucking on your breast. “you’re gorgeous,” he whispered, his voice deeper than usual. he moved back to kissing you, and you felt his hands go under your underwear hem. you found yourself moaning into his kisses as he rubbed your clit, then slowly put one finger into you, his palm still on your clit as he inserted another. “you’re… really good,” you moaned, after a little while, he took his fingers out, and you still found your walls closing around nothing, “is it okay if i put it in?” he asked, his voice still low and husky. “mhm,” you looked up at him. maybe you were caught up in the moment, maybe it was the moonlight peeking from the sheer curtains on your bedroom window, or maybe it was something else entirely, something that wouldn’t go away when the sun came back up, but just the sight of him in the darkness, his long black hair just slightly obscuring his face as he looked up at you through his long lashes, made your eyes almost water. at that moment, all that you could think about was how lucky you were, how grateful you were to be in this situation, and how happy you were. “are you okay?” he breathed, snapping you back to reality. his brows furrowed, the lust in his eyes being replaced with concern. “y-yeah, i’m great.” you smiled, looking up at him. “just making sure.” he reached into the pockets of his now discarded pants, closing your laptop before grabbing a condom out of the pocket, opening the packaging, and putting it on. he held your hand as he positioned himself in between your legs, slowly sliding into you. “let me know if you’re uncomfortable.” he whispered. you closed your eyes, and the stretch of your walls hurt at first- but soon the pain turned into pleasure, the most pleasure you'd ever experienced.
you moaned as you leaned up to kiss him, using your free hand to bring him closer to you. he shifted a bit, suddenly thrusting into you at the perfect angle and leaving you a mess, moaning his name and when you weren’t, you could hear him moaning yours. it was such an intimate moment and the way he was fucking you was so perfect that you found yourself forgetting that he was your best friend. you were whispering praises to him, telling him how good he was and how big his cock was and all these things you would never have expected you’d be saying to choi seungcheol, but here you were. his thrusts got more sloppy and his kisses became more messy and passionate and you knew he was about to come. soon, you did too, and the sensation left your head blank. you felt him pull out of you and lay down beside you. “you want me to run you a bath?” he asked. “yeah,” you looked over at him. “thank you, cheol. that was…” “amazing? life-changing?” he joked. “mhm,” you kissed him. “i’m really glad we did that.” “yeah. come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”
he left after making sure you were all good, kissing you one more time before going. you didn’t think much of anything that night, but when you woke up your mind was racing- that was after you were able to confirm that the night you just had wasn’t a dream. you assumed seungcheol’s mind was racing, too, because aside from sending you some tiktoks and occasionally talking to you about something or other, it was radio silence from him. you were torn about it- on one hand, you were massively grateful. you knew it’d be awkward to talk to him after everything. but on the other hand, you were almost hurt. it was definitely irrational, and you knew that, but you almost felt like he didn’t talk to you because he didn’t like you after the two of you had sex or, worse, he had just been using you. then he called you, three days after everything. “hello?” “hey,” he said. “sorry for not talking to you for a while.” “yeah,” “i needed some time to think about things. it’s not like you did anything wrong though. i still need time, i’m calling to tell you that this has nothing to do with you,” he paused. “really, you were incredible, and that was one of the best moments of my life. and i don’t want to stop talking to you. i just need some time to myself for a bit.” “thank you,” you blushed. “but… yeah, that’s fine. don’t worry about it. but don’t take all the time you need. i leave in, like, five days.” you laughed, though there wasn’t anything funny. “yeah,” he replied, his voice somewhat… sad? you couldn’t really pinpoint what it was. “you gotta promise me that we’ll hang out at least once before then, ‘kay?” “okay,” he paused. “i gotta go, though.” “bye,” “see you,” he said before hanging up.
the phone call left you frustrated for the next few days, which only worsened how sad you felt to be leaving your home and your town. rosie and leia were constantly coming over, but, as much as you loved them, it wasn't the same as hanging out with seungcheol.
you'd been invited to leia's house on the nineteenth, to watch a movie or something. she drove you there, suspiciously giddy with excitement, and once you arrived at her house, you realized there was something more going on. she opened the door for you, and instead of being greeted by her parents and nobody else, you were greeted by a whole crowd of people. somehow, leia and rosie had managed to gather everybody for a surprise going-away party- even your cousin was there. you made your way through the crowd, talking to everybody, so happy from seeing all these people you loved and had spent your teenage years with that you forgot about everything with seungcheol entirely. in fact, you forgot about everything with him throughout most of the night. but then you found him, sitting alone and playing some game on his phone, and he looked up and saw you, and you immediately knew something was up. "can i talk to you?"
he took you to a bedroom and closed the door behind you. "i wanted to tell you something." he said. the two of you sat side by side on the edge of the bed. "i know it's really late to tell you this, but i figured because you're leaving tomorrow this is… my last chance to tell you." he paused. "i don't think it was just because of that night and i don't want you to think that, either. it's also not because of kim, even though the timing would make you think that… i was really thinking about this, and i think… i don't know how to say this, but…" you looked at him and he looked at you and suddenly it all clicked in your head. every little thing you made some stupid excuse for, like how you could only think about him when you touched yourself, or how you couldn't pull your eyes away from his crazy huge arms, or how your heart fluttered when you both made eye contact. it all made sense to you know. "i love you too, cheol."
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mochinomnoms · 1 year ago
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Hi hi friend,
If it is not too much trouble I would like to make a request for your event? I think I would like Floyd with prompt 14- “I'd rather have the thorniest, pesticide ridden roses grow in my mouth before I'd ever admit having any sort of affection for them!”
They/them for Yuu is fine with me, I was thinking romantic? Where maybe it's obvious to everyone but Yuu how requited their feelings are.
I've really liked reading your writing and hope you continue to have fun doing it (♡°▽°♡)
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floyd leech x gn!reader [tags] – fluff, mutual pining [wc} – 3,659 prompt 14: “I'd rather have the thorniest, pesticide ridden roses grow in my mouth before I'd ever admit having any sort of affection for them!” note - hahahahahhahahahahaha i did not mean to write so much but i went a little buckwild and i think floyd deserves to be allowed to be soft sometimes a floral inconvenience
Lavender roses - Introduced in 1900, lavender roses represent love at first sight. They’re often given to someone to convey that the giver was immediately smitten and fell in love. 
You’d decided to attend a karaoke event the Mostro Lounge was hosting to introduce the new spring menu. It was meant to be a nice, relaxing hangout with your friends from Heartslaybul as you listened to your friends attempt to show off their mediocre singing skills. 
Ace was in an especially good mood, happy to tease you as you waved happily at Floyd, who’d returned your affections. 
“Oi, oi, oiiiiiii, Prefect? When you gonna say something? Kinda tired of dealing with you puking petals every—OW!”
You snorted as Deuce smacked Ace upside the head, muttering about him being an asshole. 
“Leave them alone Ace, unless you want to be collared for harassing a member of the student body?” Riddle reprimanded, giving Ace a harsh glare as he turned to you instead. 
“You can ignore him, Prefect, you don’t have to say anything to that good-for-nothing merman! I’m sure you could do much better anyways.”
You chuckled, enjoying the soft banter between the group. It was particularly nice seeing Riddle interact more casually with his peers, even if you weren’t able to convince him to sing with you. 
“Are you sure you do want to go up with me?” You pouted leaning in close to the red-headed housewarden. “I’ll even let you pick the song—”
“Out of the question.”
You sighed, resting against the plush cushions of the booth while Ace and Deuce bicker about which song would be better for a duet. This was nice. 
It was nice, up until Floyd decided to take part in the festivities. Somehow he’d snuck behind you and Riddle, snatching up your friend with a gleeful cackle as he screeched. 
“FLOYD! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT—”
“Nah, it’s fine Goldfishie, I need ya for just a sec!”
Floyd placed Riddle in a seat, front and center at the stage, as he climbed up. The cool blue spotlight suited Floyd’s features as he grinned. 
Picking up the mic from its stand, Floyd announced, “Alright! This song is for my favorite little fishie in the whole entire school, so you all better enjoy it!”
You expected him to start singing a silly pop song, one with high energy and beats. Or one that became a meme on Magicam last week, something about flamingos and turning pink. 
Instead, the upbeat, suave tunes of a familiar song started playing. A familiar love song. 
“Is…is this ABBA?”
“Who?” Cater asked, recording the scene with a stifling giggle as Riddle turned redder and redder in embarrassment (and most likely rage) as Floyd continued to serenade him. 
“This is ‘Lay Your Love’ by BABA, a classic from the 80s—”
“No it’s called ABBA back home—wait, WHY IS FLOYD SINGING A LOVE SONG TO RIDDLE!?”
Your screech startled the surrounding tables, drawing attention that you were too jealous to focus on. Floyd made eye contact with you, hearing your yelling. Continuing to sing—quite nicely you’d hate to admit—the eel mer winked and smirked, drawing an ire that you didn’t know you had. 
“What the hell? Floyd!” With the vindication of a scorned lover, you stomped to the stage and swiped the microphone from Floyd’s hands. 
“Floyd, what are you doing?” you spoke into the mic, glaring daggers at the tall beanpole of an eel turned man, who looked unbothered at your angry presence.
Floyd took the mic back and answered, “I’m trying to win my mate back—DON’T GO WASTING—”
“What mate?” You yanked the mic back while Floyd followed suit, though this time you kept both hands on. It became a tugging match as you both tried speaking into the mic before the other took it back. 
“Goldfishie.” You could hear Riddle scream at that. 
“Riddle’s not your mate! I’m your mate—” You snapped your mouth shut, the mic feedback and your last words echoing through the lounge, mocking you. 
Floyd had a large, smug grin on his face, his sharp teeth gleaming under the bright lights of the stage. You were now very aware of the packed lounge, and of the students spectating. 
The mic was slowly pulled back to Floyd, who gleefully asked “Oh~ Say that again?”
“Nuh-uh.” 
You shook your head furiously, trying to pull back in order to run off and curl into a hole from embarrassment. Floyd’s grip on the mic and your hands tightened, preventing your escape. 
“That’s fiiine,” Floyd pulled out a small device from his pocket, lightly tapping it on the mic. “I have it riiiight ‘ere.” 
Suddenly, a recording of your voice looped into the mic: 
“I’m your mate—I’m your mate—I’m your mate—”
He recorded it. 
“Oh my god…” You looked at Floyd in horror, who was still grinning ear to ear, like a cat that got the mouse. 
“HehehehehehahahAHAHA!” Floyd’s giggle turned into a cackle as he launched at you, mic and recorder abandoned on the floor. Between the ear-splitting squeal of the mic hitting the ground and a 6’2” man tackling you, there was little time for you to defend yourself as your lips clashed, teeth clattering against one another from the brute force.
His long arms wrapped themselves tightly around your waist, dipping you down dramatically as he broke your kiss to instead leave wet kisses on your cheeks, nose, forehead, and every other piece of skin not covered by clothes. 
Ace and Cater’s cackles could be heard amongst the now growing laughter, whistles, and jeers of the crowd. You think you could even make out someone yelling at your two to get a room. 
“—off the stage! Get off the stage, both of you!” 
Ah, it was Azul. Who was stomping over the shoo you both off the stage, giving Floyd a particularly harsh whack on the head with his staff. 
“Ow, fuck that hurt!” Floyd whined, scooping you up with his left hand and cradling you to his chest. “Cool it Azul, don’t harsh my vibe—”
“I don’t care! Go make out in your room! This is a lounge not a brothel!”
“Fiiiiiine,” Floyd adjusted his grip to instead throw you over his shoulder, amused by how limp you’d gone in his grasp. “Come on Shrimpy! I got something fun in mind~”
His sentence and teasing tone made you flush, images of you and him in bed flashing through your mind. 
“W-wait, Floyd, what are we gonna do?”
“You’ll see, ahahahehe!” Floyd’s giggled echoed through the hallway as he quickened his pace. It was only a few minutes before you realized that you two had made it to the dormitory halls. 
Floyd kicked open his door, the hinges squeaking from the force. He marched over to his bed, grabbing at your waist to no doubt throw you on it before pausing. 
“Oh yeah.” Like a sudden realization hitting him, Floyd grabbed the corner of his bedsheets and shook them, clothing, books, and crumbs no doubtedly flying off. 
Once satisfied, Floyd hummed and once again grabbed your waist, this time committing to throwing you on the bed, which bounced under you. 
“AaaAaaAAAah—FLOYD!” You yelped, face turning redder as Floyd caged you to the bed. He looked at you with a hungry expression, licking his lips at the sight of you. 
“Wait-wait Floyd, gimme a sec—” you stammered, crawling backwards until your back hit the headboard. “—this is all very very sudden, I—wait!”
Floyd crawled after you, trapping you with his long arms, leaning down until his lips were lingering over yours. You shut your eyes in anticipation, waiting for his hands to grab at your clothes and tear them off. 
A soft, tender meeting of the lips. Floyd pressed his mouth against yours, swiping his tongue into your mouth, to which you returned with flustered confusion. The kiss was with such gentleness that you had to open your eyes to confirm that it was indeed Floyd kissing you. 
Olive and yellow eyes were closed, a blissful smile on his lips as he broke your kiss, instead pressing almost chaste pecks to your cheeks, down, your neck, and over your shirt where your heart was beating away. 
Floyd pressed his right ear to your chest, listening to the increasingly rapid pounding against your rib cage. His arms moved from trapping you against the bed to trapping you against his body, wrapping around your back and tightening while his lanky legs tangled between yours. 
You weren’t sure what to do with your own hands, once he had settled laying on you. Hesitantly, you reached to lace them through his hair, pushing the strands back to get a better view of his peaceful face. Admittedly, seeing Floyd in such a state, blissful and sweet, was beautiful. 
His smile grew slightly as you combed through his hair, nuzzling his nose into your chest. Into your heart really. 
“Hmm? What’s wrong?” Floyd opened his yellow eye, gleaming at you in amusement. “I just wanted to cuddle, did ya have somethin’ else in mind? Haha!”
He moved to prop up his chin, smirking at you as he teased, “Didn’t think ya had sucha dirty mind, if you wanna ‘do it’, all you had to do was ask—”
You shoved his face back into your chest looking away in embarrassment, feeling his giggles vibrate through you. 
“Shut up, ugh!” You pouted, grumbling, “You set me up! Ugh! How’d you even know that would work?”
“I heard you.”
“Huh?”
“Talkin’ to Lil Goldfishie,” Floyd moved so that instead of laying on top of you, he was curled into your side with his head nestled at the crook of your neck. “When you got the flower sickness.” 
You looked at him with shock. That conversation with Riddle happened nearly three months ago in between classes. 
Specifically, it happened a few weeks after winter break, when you were catching up Riddle to your “adventure” in Scarabia, after which small lavender roses started blooming along your freckles, their thorns scratching your skin.
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“And then, he launched us waaaaaay into the desert!” You animatedly waved your arms around as you recounted your fiasco over winter break. “We were trapped, but then Kalim used his unique magic to fill a dry riverbed with water and then!”
Riddle raised a brow at you as you began gigging with a soft blush. “Jade and Floyd had to turn into their merforms, so me and Kalim had to hold on to his back, but when I wrapped my arms around his chest, and he held my hand to steady me! ”
Your friend rolled his eyes as you started to silently squealed in your seat, sighing.
“Are you going to finish? I have better things to do than listen to you babble about Floyd of all people. Honestly,” Riddle huffed, “I don’t understand what you see in that riffraff!”
“He’s not a riffraff!” You quipped, frowning as you crossed your arms. “He’s actually really sweet if you give him the time of day, Floyd just likes being able to have fun with others you know!”
“Even then, his mood swings don’t terrify you? He gets rather violent sometimes.” Riddle took a sip of his tea as you shook your head. 
“No, I mean if you just go with the flow it’s fine, plus that just makes him more exciting to be around! Plus we’ve been getting closer ever since Azul’s overblot…”
You smiled softly as you looked down at your lap, fondness growing in your heart like blooms on a warm spring day. 
“He can actually be quite sweet, once you get to know him…you just have to give him a chance.”
The two of you remained quiet, the only coming from the distant chatter of other students in the more populated areas of the guest lounge.
“I’m safe to assume then that he is the reason you’ve started sprouting the roses?”
Your soft pink blush deepened as you nodded, picking at the small flower that began blooming on your cheek. 
“Yeah…”
“When will you confess, then?” You looked at Riddle in shock, who seemed confused at your distress. “What? It’s obvious that you have strong feelings for him, and even I notice how especially clingy he is around you.”
You shook your head, stuttering, “Well, yeah but that’s—”
“I’ve even heard him refer to you by name, he only does that with Jade and Azul you know?”
“You don’t understand Riddle.” You tried to interject, growing more flustered by the second. “I don’t think I could—”
Riddle continued, “As much as I disapprove, it does seem that you two genuinely bring out the best in each other, he does seem softer when you’re around—”
“Oh my—Riddle, stop—”
“—And you’ve gotten more outspoken, I remember how shy you were—”
“I’m begging you—”
“—Besides, according to the Queen of Heart’s rule number 478, any romantic feelings must be confessed approximately 12 days upon their discovery or the individual in question obligated to deny—”
“I said stop, Riddle!” You yelled at the top of your lungs before choking on rather large bouquet of lavender roses. Leaves and petals fluttered all around you as you continued to let out rough coughs, phlegm and saliva making a mess. 
Your yell startled the red-head so much that he simply started at you with a red face and thinned lips, too shocked to properly yell back at you for raising your voice indoors. 
Instead, he carefully placed his tea cup on the table between you two, folded his hands in his lap, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. You on the other hand, peaked around the dividers separating your nook from the rest of the lounge. 
Ace and Deuce looked over in concern as you continued to cough out more roses, walking over before you shook your head and gave them a thumbs up before shooing them away and turning back to Riddle. 
“...sorry Riddle.” You whispered, looking at him nervously. “I didn’t mean to yell, don’t be mad?”
“It’s…fine.” He replied with a strained voice, taking a final inhale before opening his eyes again and making eye contact. “You shouldn’t have yelled, and I shouldn’t have pushed.”
Riddle sighed, relaxing into the soft lounge chair. Though he would deny when asked, the chair that he helped you pick for the guest room was is favorite spot to sit in, as it surprising comfortable. 
“May I ask why you refused? It’s quite obvious to anyone that you care for him immensely, for some forsaken reason, and I would even say it’s quite mutual.”
You avoided eye contact as he resumes sipping from his tea, a lemon tea with 2 sugar cubes for his post meal tea. 
“Yeah…that’s what the other first-years say too. Even Jade’s been dropping hints on mer courtship gifts.”
“Then? What’s stopping you? 
A pregnant pause was in the air as you open and closed your mouth, attempting to figure out what it was that scared you. 
“What if…he gets bored?” 
Riddle furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned in, barely able to hear you. 
“What if he what?” He sighed, a bit irritated. “Speak up Prefect, I know you can, you just did earlier.”
You groaned out, “What if he gets bored with me? I’m fun and interesting now, yeah!”
Your friend watched, and you began pacing around the room, holding his head in his hand as he watched and listened to you vent. 
“I’m just a silly little magicless human that got transported from another world! Big whoop! What happens when that novelty wears off? You've heard him, he only likes to do things that are fun and interesting to him, but I won’t always be fun and interesting, eventually he’ll get used to me and get bored.”
You turned to look at Riddle with a teary-eyed, but firm look. “He’s get bored and leave me. I can’t handle that! So I just won’t be with him. In fact, I'd rather have the thorniest, pesticide ridden roses grow in my mouth before I'd ever admit having any sort of affection for him!”
Your voice began to crack as you stated your final sentence, snapping your mouth shut before you got begun crying. Riddle stood up and walked over to grasp your shoulders, looking at you with an understanding smile. 
“The sort of person that would abandon a lover simply because they’re bored never deserved one in the first place.” 
Riddle hummed in agreement as you sqeaked out a ‘really?’, giving you a soft pat on your shoulder. 
“Of course, I can’t say I don’t understand your hesitance, Floyd is…Floyd, after all. However, he is not my friend, you are. If you choose to forfeit your right to confess, then so be it.”
You smiled as he dragged you back to your seats, giggling as he continued, “I personally would say it’s no lost on your part, he’s not exactly the most prime candidate for your life partner should you be stuck here in Twisted Wonderland, may I suggest one of the many more suitable providers?”
“Pfft-like who? You?” you cackled as Riddle looked at you in mild horror. 
“Oh dear, of course not! I admire you as a friend, but I have much stricter standards for a partner.” He snapped his fingers in revelation. “Perhaps Ace or Deuce, you are rather close to them—”
“Ewwwww, pass. They’re like annoying brothers!” 
Riddle snorted before covering it up with a cough. “True. Trey?”
“If you’re just going to suggest your dorm members, maybe we should switch the conversation to something else.”
“Well I think my dorm produces only the best and most gentlemanly mages of all of NRC, so excuse me if I’m simply trying to give you the best options!” 
You and Riddle shared some laughter, a flash of teal catching the corner of your eye. But you saw nothing, so instead you focused back on Riddle as he began recounting his own winter break activities.
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You remained quiet as you processed your thoughts, finding the lilac ceiling to be particularly interesting. 
Floyd also stayed quiet, still curled into your side as he breathed in your scent. You’re sure that with all of the flowers you’d started coughing up in the last few minutes, you smelled strongly of the lavender roses. 
“You know…I was gettin’ real mad when you wouldn’t confess to me.” Floyd whined, propping his head up with his hand to look at you and your pink face. 
“I thought it would be nice to get a cute confession out of my little shrimp,” He pinched your nose and forced you to look at him. “It be real fun! Like those cringy romcoms landfolk like so much!”
You replied, nasally due to your pinched nose, “Wait, is that why Jade was telling me about mer courting methods?”
“Haha! Yeah, I was hopin’ that you’d bring me a pretty seashell or somethin’ cute so Icould make fun of ya for later.”
You let out an indigent huff, smacking Floyd’s hand away as he laughed. 
“Really? So what made you change your mind?”
“Hearing ya talk to Goldfishie. It pissed me off that you’d think I’d toss you out like humans at sea with their trash.”
Floyd’s tone changed, looking  visibly annoyed as he continued. 
“Mers mate for life, and I wouldn’t choose someone I’d get bored with.” He sat up as his mood continued to sour. “It pissed me off, and it hurt, that my Little Shrimpy would think about me like that.”
“Oh, Floyd,” you sat up with him, guilt seeping in your bones as you looked at his angry face. Though, with the small tears forming in his eyes, Floyd looked more frustrated than anything. 
“I’m sorry, I-I didn’t think—it didn’t occur to me that you felt the same—”
“Well I do, and it’s not fair to me that you wouldn’t even give me a chance.” The way Floyd said that so matter of factly made you snap your mouth shut again, looking down at your lap instead. 
“I’m…sorry, Floyd. I wish I could make it up to you—”
Floyd interrupted, moody demeanor brightening suddenly. “No worries, I got just the solution!”
Crawling over back to you so that your back met the headboard again, Floyd grinned maliciously at your curled form. 
“Say it.”
“Huh?”
“Say it. Those three little words.” Floyd held up three fingers to emphasize his point. “The ones that will make all those little flower go right away, the ones you need to say to me.”
You stiffened, leaning away from Floyd as he leaned in. “I don’t know if I can—”
“Say it, Y/N.” The use of your name startled your attention back to his face. He looked unusually serious, peering his heterochromic eyes into your own. If you didn’t know any better, you could’ve mistaken him for his twin. 
You whispered, prolonging the inevitable, “What happened to Shrimpy?”
“Shrimpy was Shrimpy, but now your Y/N. And Y/N is Y/N…”
The two of you shared a smile as the distance between you two continued to close. You couldn’t remember what was so pressing earlier, why you were so anxious when the yellow eye of the man in front of you produced nothing but adoration from your heart. 
“Please…” From the uncharacteristic soft murmur to the eyes darting down to your lips and back to your eyes, Floyd drew you back in with a hypnotic ease that only the most alluring of mythical creatures could even hope to imitate. 
The two of you leaned in as you placed a hand on his chest, his own left hand coming to cradle your own. 
You craned your head back to hover your lips under his, uttering the words you swore to never let leave your mouth. 
“I-I…love you, Floyd Leech.”
A single lavender rose grew between your palms, as two longing hearts met as one.
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