#do grey parrots talk

[flicks-random-stuff]

The prince of all cosmos is like a kitten and a bunny and a small parrot all at once to me. Small lovely animal

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Opinions on owning pet parrots? I'm doing a degree in animal welfare and have pretty much come to the conclusion that the smaller species are fine if you can provide what they need but the larger birds like the greys, outside of being rescues, shouldn't be pets at all.

Okaaaaaaaay so time to make everyone mad at me again I guess

parrots have been human companion animals for longer than Judaism has been around, so, I don't think we can just say "it's wrong" and force everyone to stop doing a thing that's been done for that long. Like, this isn't a human randomly taking home a tiger, this is a long going process with many species of parrots now being near-domesticated in the strictest sense of the term

Parrot ownership is in fact ancient in many "tropical" areas and the idea that it's a new thing is... white supremacy! what a shock!

in the United States (I am not talking about other countries, just my own), literally no companion parrots are wild caught anymore. They're bred. Bred as companions. If we were to outlaw larger parrot ownership, many birds would be without a home, and that's morally reprehensible

in fact, the kind of backlash against parrot ownership that's risen up in the past decade has directly led to a shelter crisis. most shelters are overfilled and overstressed, which is a *lot* worse for the birds in many cases than home ownership

parrots are pets that have extraordinarily high care needs. They are not good pets for everyone. but no pet is! Every single companion animal has its pluses and downsides, and many of them have many more downsides than pluses. Doesn't mean they shouldn't have a home.

There are some people who are actually able to take care of companion parrots, adequately, in their homes. First of all, we've learned a lot in the past few decades. Second of all, there are lifestyles that work well with even larger parrots and their needs.

So, while the number of human beings on this planet who can adequately take care of large parrots is extremely small, it is not zero. Which means if someone thinks they can take care of a bird well, and has the space and resources and time, then they should be allowed to, if that's what they wish

Because birds in the USA are bred as companions, the vast majority of said parrots would be unhappy in any situation that doesn't involve close contact with humans. Admittedly, all my parrots are "small" (whatever that means), but I know for a fact that if you took them away from our home they would be significantly worse off, because they're bonded to us. That's how this whole flocking thing works

Also, our most recent rescues, who had been stuck in a shelter for 15 years, are definitely happier now getting more individual attention and space. Shelters are supposed to be temporary places for most birds, not permanent homes, because they can't get the adequate level of care and attention that they need.

also, I'll point out that being pets has allowed many parrot species to have thriving populations that are not threatened by climate change, which is something to their benefit. given. you know. climate change. not that pet ownership is conservation, but, it's not that far removed from it - the axolotl population owes a lot to both pet ownership and zoo captivity, for example.

like, it's a spectrum, right? And it doesn't really go along with size, at the end of the day. There are tons of extremely neurotic and high needs small parrots, and many larger ones that are exceptionally chill. So while the vast majority of humans on this planet should not have a parrot, that's not all of them; and while the number that can handle higher maintenance ones is even smaller, its not zero. And I think, given the fact that we have all of these captive bred birds in the states at least, it's not a good idea to tell people that there is no way to ethically practice husbandry with them.

and I'm not the kind of person who assumes I know everything about someone's life in order to tell them "no you shouldn't bring home that cockatoo", so I'm not going to. In fact, I give everyone on the internet the benefit of the doubt if they have a parrot unless a) that parrot shows signs of distress (like plucking) or b) there is clearly something wrong going on (like someone's smoking weed around their bird)

so, no, there's no commonly kept (and thus domestically captive bred) bird I think is a bad pet for every single human on the planet. And it's not my business whether a particular individual should or should not have a particular bird.

[franabz]

★Random 141 headcanons

Ghost is on the aroace spectrum, only having sexual feelings towards someone under very specific circumstances or a very strong bond. He's probably only had one or two "partners" in his life, both spanning throughout grade school. He also has commitment issues due to the amount of people he has lost in his line of work.

Ghost is a very good listener, despite popular belief. You give him a good story or gossip and you best believe he is sat down directly beside you, his eyes never leaving yours between small invested nods or subtle reactions behind his balaclava-concealed face.

Ghost is a picky eater, though after having been in the military for years now it has significantly gotten better. Well, anything is better than those god forsaken MRE packs, anyway. He still has certain foods he will scrunch his face and glare at behind his mask, but still eat; though begrudgingly.

Price is definitely a gift giver. Randomly showing up one day in front of your barracks to present you a little trinket that he claimed reminded him of you.

Price is always checking up on his fellow soldiers, making sure they are taking care of themselves and not neglecting their own needs. He knows how many soldiers tend to neglect their mental health first hand.

Price had a massive sweet tooth. He claims to hate anything sweet and says chocolate tastes like "dog shite", but the second he's along with some good pastries or sweets, you bet your ass they're gone by the time you get back. He somehow never gets caught.

Soap is a huge adrenaline junkie. You ever going to a theme park? He's already begging on his hands and knees to go with you, practically dragging you by the arm onto every single roller coaster and giddy with adrenaline the entire time in the line. He has definitely been on the slingshot ride more than once.

Soap has definitely slipped the Scotland national anthem into your playlists more times than once, silently wheezing to himself as he watches you go about your day, only to suddenly stop everything you were doing to slowly turn to look at him, knowing exactly who did it.

Soap gives the best hugs. You having a rough day and just need some alone time? Well too bad, he's already halfway to your barracks just to pull you into his arms in a huge bear hug (bonus points if you're shorter and he can lift you). Somehow always seems to lighten someone's day no matter how upset they are.

Gaz takes up photography on his free time. He even invested in a fancy expensive camera to take logs and photos of places he's been, food he's eaten, scenery, and friends. His personal favorite is a picture of Soap in a bar piss-drunk while mid way singing his heart out to whatever was on the karaoke machine, his arm slung around Ghost's shoulder to support himself and a half empty scotch on-hand.

Gaz can play piano, and very well at that. It is one of those hidden talents that nobody would have suspected from him until it actually happened. The group is strolling around a plaza during their off days between missions, finding a stray piano and watching in shock as Gaz suddenly hops into the seat and gives the rest of the group a knowing look, before completely taking the show away. "The hell'd you learn t'do that, Sergeant?" Price practically choked on his cigar.

Gaz has a roommate back at home, as well as a pet... parrot? An African Grey to be exact. He is always eager to get back home to his beloved bird and roommate, one of which practically became family to him at this point. He doesn't talk about his personal life much, hence why the rest of 141 was so surprised to hear he had a roommate. The one day he invited 141 to his apartment after a mission just to hang out gave them quite the surprise when they heard two unfamiliar voices; one from his roommate, and one from the bird. Definitely scared Soap more than once.

[bleue-flora]

Hi hi i am curious abt how u imagen c!dream to look like? :3 cause tbh the eye nipples are not it

And does he look different any of your fics?

[context]

Hmm… good question. I actually was thinking about this back in September when thinking about what Dream’s ghost would look like, and came up with this idea that the cloak Dream wore more in the beginning of the server was his skin color and had cat ears just like the hats ccDream wears. I also was thinking about how I added parts of Punz’s skin onto Punz’s armor in my art like the black stripe [here], so what if Dream has something similar with the smily face. So last night I altered my art [original] to kinda demonstrate what I mean, it’s not like a final draft or anything, but just to get the idea.

But basically this is one way we could interpret Dream’s skin, where he could either be wearing white or have like white belts, has a smily face on his chest plate and a neon green cloak. So this is more or less what I imagine Dream looked like pre-prison, though slightly different like his hair would be short (and maybe instead of wearing his parrot’s feathers in his hair like shown he has an earring or something plus he also wears rings of course like ccDream), and his cloak and clothes wouldn’t be baggy and ragged like is shown - those were just already there originally. Though I think someone talked sometime about Dream’s clothes getting darker and darker as time went on and I love the symbolism of that so I do think his clothes were lighter greens and grays and the white (still the same cloak though), so this look of all black would be after the dethronement.

Dream in prison looks like… well something like how I did him for my Musical Chairs art [original]

with his hair getting that shaggy longer look and starting to grey at the roots. Technically he probably should look thinner (and canonically based on his skin he should have a mask… and maybe his jumper should be neon green) but… like I also picture him not unlike Oliver Queen from Arrow who is very fit, like if this were a movie or tv show, personally I want characters to be pretty, that’s part of the appeal :) so he will be scarred but not to the point of like gross to look at. He’d also be paler than the picture shown, which just has residual shading from the og, because man hasn’t seen the sun in a long while. And he does have a shirt on when people are around (besides Quackity of course :] lol)

And well like I said I did art for how I see post-prison Dream [here], though I think ever since I noticed the map which confirmed the timeline of staged duo’s experiments [post], I’ve started questioning how I see Dream and whether or not I think they did a lot of death experiments on each other [post], so I think the post-prison Dream I see now includes a lot less white streaks in his hair than my art. If he had long hair I also imagine he wore it in a braid a lot… though honestly in my head he often has short hair so maybe he only has long hair in Crow’s Nest and Niki teaches him to braid it…

But yeah in general, as far as how he looks for my fics… you’ll notice I don’t really describe that beside things like eye color and injuries because I want the reader to be able to imagine Dream with whatever headcanon they have (similarly to how I write the more intimate moments between staged duo in a way that if you ship them it still works). Perhaps that’s why you are asking lol… umm most of my fics are in a timeline of sorts and meant to fit into canon, of course in If The Crown Fits, Wear It Dream wears a crown post-prison. In Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop I think Dream’s clothes and stuff would be a little less like ripped up and bloody since it wasn’t super obvious to Bad. Also since in lore he loses his armor when scrapped lore happens and when Tommy kills him, there would actually be three different looking sets for the post-prison Dream look. In the Haunted House Timeline, which sticks to canon up until the events of Crow’s Nest, Dream would look less ragged since he stayed at Techno’s for a while so he gained some weight back and looks more healthy overall… in general though they are look very similar because they are all canon compliant. :)

[no-goodbyes-no-regrets]

So this was meant to be posted April 21st for the @bucktommycharityrace but because life REALLY hasn't been life-ing the way it should these past few weeks it is now May 1st and still only half finished 🤦‍♀️

But I don't want to be too much of a asshole and not post at all, so I'm posting the half that's done now as a part 1, and official permission to the entire fandom to get on my case about finishing the second part ASAP.

and if you have a little extra cash, consider donating to ACLU or Lambda Legal (there's still a little bit of time!)

---

Two beers and a kitten (AO3)

(title inspired by that "test" to determine how you feel about someone - if you would like to have two beers with them, and if you would let them look after your puppy for a weekend)

---

“Did you have a pet as a kid?” Buck asked, turning around and propping himself up on his elbow.

They were in bed, tired from spending the day with Sal and his family for their youngest daughter's 9th birthday.

"My mom loved birds. We had all kinds of them for years. She taught us how to look after them and how to hold them. We even had this African grey parrot that had been with her since she was a teenager. It loved her, but couldn't stand my dad. Clearly it had great taste."

Buck gave him a small smile.

“So that's where your love of flying comes from.”

Tommy laughed.

“Yeah, maybe. That doesn't explain Don though."

“Well you said it had great taste.” Buck said and they both laughed. “Don't tell him I said that, he'll sic his squad on me.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from my big bad brother.” Tommy teased.

Buck had met Tommy’s twin brother Donovan only a handful of times, a few family dinners and other get togethers with his partner Dominique, and once on the job in full tac gear with some kind of rifle in his hand.

That time had been during his and Tommy’s break up, and Donovan had come up to him and told him to stop being an idiot, because his brother probably never would.

And even though he was used to Athena’s patented disappointed but not surprised looks, it had been kind of intimidating. Especially since he talked with his hands, and one of those had been holding the gun.

He pushed the thought out of his mind and decided it was time for another family barbeque. Maybe he’d invite the whole 118 family too, and Tommy’s crew from Harbor.

He got comfortable in bed and watched Tommy rub his eyes and put his book away on the nightstand.

“Nothing else? No dogs or cats?” he asked, continuing their earlier conversation.

Tommy blinked a few times and Buck watched him backtrack the last 15 minutes in his head to remember what they were talking about.

“My nonna, my grandma on my mother's side, had this yappy little dog. It tolerated me, but it loved Don. And we had guinea pigs for a while. They were a present from an aunt who had one that had had babies. But when the last one died my mom was already sick so we didn't dare ask for new ones.” Tommy paused and seemed to get lost on memories for a moment until buck squeezed his hand as quiet support. “What about you? Did you and Maddie have any pets growing up?”

Buck snorted.

“You've met my parents, you know what they were like when I was a kid, do you really think they would have gotten a pet on top of that?” he shook his head. “I always wanted a dog though. I used to run around with our neighbour's border collie. We'd go to this dog park and play fetch for an afternoon. Until it got arthritis and wasn’t allowed to run anymore.”

“I always wanted a dog too.” Tommy told him. “But first there was the army, and then the LAFD shifts... It just wouldn't be fair on a dog, you know.”

“Yeah.” Buck agreed and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Maybe when we're both retired. We'll have more time and we can get a dog.”

“You're thinking about retirement already? You’re not even 40.”

Buck gave a one armed shrug.

“Just thinking ahead.”

They were silent for a while until Buck shifted to look at Tommy.

“I think we should get a cat. They’re easy to care for and more independent than dogs. And if we both work overnights we can get someone to come feed them, maybe Maddie and Jee, and still spend time with them when we're home. They wouldn't need walking and we can just... hang out.”

He was getting excited and rolled over to grab his phone from the night stand.

“We can go to a shelter and see if we can meet some of the cats to see if there's a click.”

“Maybe this one? It's cute right? And its name is donut! How cute is that?”

He continued to show Tommy more pictures of shelter cats, who wondered how they had gone from a conversation about childhood pets, to possibly adopting a cat.

“We’re both off next Wednesday, we can go to the shelter and see if there are any cats we like. And that like us.” He continued. “Or I could pick you up after your shift on Tuesday. The website says they’re open until six.”

“Don’t you have a shift on Thursday?”

“Friday.” Buck corrected him. “But if we keep waiting for the perfect time, it’ll never happen. Sometimes you just have to settle for the best time right now.”

Tommy narrowed his eyes at him.

“Did you get that from Bobby’s mother? It sounds like her faith healing… stuff.”

Buck laughed a little.

“No. Bobby himself actually. When he was in hospital after the lab explosion. Though maybe he did get it from her.”

“We’ll just name our cat after him as thanks.” Tommy decided and gently plucked Buck’s phone out of his hand and put it on the nightstand. “But now I need sleep, I’ve been used as a jungle gym all day, I’m exhausted.” He turned off the lights and pulled Buck down under the covers with him.

“So you want to get a cat too?”

“Baby as long as you let me sleep now, I’ll adopt every stray cat in the city with you.”

---

“Hey Buckley, come to pick up your man?” Casey, one of Tommy's coworkers called out to him when he walked into the hangar Tuesday afternoon. Technically they had decided to hold off on the shelter until Wednesday when they had more time, but Buck had spent most of his day off scrolling through pages of cats from various shelters and he was excited for Tommy to see them too. Preferably in person.

“Yup, is he ready?”

“I think he's still in there getting changed.” Casey pointed her thumb in the general direction of the locker room. “Just go on through, but keep it PG though yeah? I've seen enough of Kinard's bare ass over the years to last me a lifetime.”

Buck laughed.

“Don't worry, that ass is off limits for anyone but me these days. Though it is a very nice ass so maybe I’ll let you have a look next time.”

“Whose ass are we talking about?” Tommy asked, coming out of the locker room, hair still wet from his shower.

“Yours.” Buck told him and kissed him hello. “And Casey agreed it’s a great one.”

“I always knew you had a secret thing for me, Case.”

“Oh yeah, I can hardly control myself around you. I better go take a cold shower before I go home and cry myself to sleep over the fact you love another.” Casey good naturedly rolled her eyes and left to go get her own stuff and make her way home.

Tommy jokingly blew her a kiss before turning to Buck.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I’m absolutely always happy to see you… but why are you here? Did I forget something? Did we have plans?”

“No, I just came to pick you up because I felt like it.”

“You… felt like driving all the way out here on your day off?”

“I took an Uber actually. So we won’t have to leave one car behind and come back for it later.”

“Ok… so you paid for someone to take you all the way out here because you felt like it?”

“I just wanted to see you, is that so bad?”

“We live in the same house. We share a bed most days.”

“Ok maybe I didn’t just want to see you…” Buck started, ignoring Tommy’s raised eyebrow of indignance. “Maybe there is someone I want you to meet.”

“Uh…”

“Look. Just look and keep an open mind ok?” Buck pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped the screen a few times. “I found the perfect cat for us. He’s orange, he’s really cute, he loves kids, and his name is Fuego. Fire.” He turned the screen towards Tommy.

“And he’s adopted.”

“Yeah, I know he’s really cute and I think he would be a great fit for our family and - ”

“No, Evan, I mean he’s been adopted. Someone has adopted him. Or is planning to at least.”

“What?” Buck turned the phone back around and frowned at the screen. “I checked before I came here…”

“I guess you weren’t the only one looking.” Tommy said, wrapping an arm around his waist. “We’ll find another cat. One that’s as perfect for us as this one. We’ll just go to the shelter tomorrow and spend some time with their cats, see which one likes us.”

“Maybe we can go now after all? I-if you’re not too tired from your shift? I mean it’s still early and dinner is taken care of, we just need to heat it up tonight and the shelter isn’t far from here-.”

Tommy cut him off with two fingers under his chin and a soft press of lips.

“Works every time.” He mumbled when he pulled back.

He guided Evan over to his car and threw his bag in the back before getting behind the wheel.

“So where is this shelter?”

[jimothy-hopkins]

Mr Galloway Headcanons???

Mr. Galloway is actually a very successful author. Most of his books are written under a different pen name though.

His favorite genres to write are mystery and horror. Sometimes being drunk as hell helps him come up with really good ideas.

He doesn’t even remember writing some of his books as a result of his alcoholism.

Mr. Galloway’s alcohol addiction really picked up after the passing of his wife. The stress from Hattrick at work only worsened it.

Mr. Galloway and his wife were married for over thirteen years. Her cause of death was bacterial meningitis.

Mr. Galloway actually went to and graduated from Bullworth when he was younger. In his younger years Galloway could be described as a bright young man whose social awkwardness gave him some charm.

He is VERY adamant about having his students understand the material they read in his class. One of his biggest fears is illiterate people.

I once read a fanfic where someone said he was a bird person and I can’t see him owning anything but an African Grey parrot.

The Parrot is named Harlan and Galloway used to take Harlan with him to work during the school day but the kids wouldn’t stop teaching the bird cuss words so he had to stop doing that.

Ms. Phillips is one of the reasons Mr. Galloway has been able to slowly accept and healthily cope with the death of his wife.

Before he and Ms. Phillips started to date she and Mr. Galloway were best friends and would talk mad shit about Hattrick and Dr. Crabblesnitch.

They still talk mad shit about them.

Mr. Galloway listens to Tom Gurney’s conspiracy theories and rants and helps him build off of them occasionally.

Mr. Galloway fully believes Dr. Slawter has killed somebody before and that Mr. Luntz helped him hide the body.

He was friends with Daniel Lamb. Galloway wonders what happened to him after they parted ways.

Sometimes Galloway just shows up with a funny hat on.

He goes all out during spirit week and gets DOWN at school dances. Galloway can break dance.

All of the antagonists in his books have at least ONE thing in common with Mr. Hattrick.

Both he and Ms. Philips will pull female students out of gym so that they are not left with Coach Burton.

[kittynugg]

chapter eight of a little dilemma!! woo!! sorry this one took so long

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62289874/chapters/163171300

<first> <- prev . . . 8 . . . next ->

words: 5,260

p.s: reblogs appreciated, do not tag as ship!!

“David. David.”

Ford hissed, his eyes burning with frustration.

“If you call me or my little shooting star one more time I will find you. I will track you down and teach you exactly why you don’t mess with my goddamn family. Both of us are not in your age demographic and I am very uncomfortable with the way you’ve been speaking to my niece!”

Dipper and Mabel watched with pursed lips as he picked up the phone to pace, pinning the handset (the.. phone-thing) to his ear with his shoulder. “I’ve tolerated this for fifty-seven turns and two hours, and I will not be tolerating this any longer.”

“I HAVE ROOM IN MY BEACH HOUSE FOR TWO.”

“Of course you’d say that at a time like this! I’m going to find Cutie-Town! And when I turn up to that beach house of yours you’ll wish you didn’t have room for two! Your beach house will end up a crime scene, David!” His eyes darted around the room, then he slammed the phone into the receiver.

The last remaining pair of actual twins exchanged a bewildered glance, and Dipper piped up. “You just argued with maybe ten pre-recorded voice lines.” He inched away from Ford slightly. “I think we’re done playing Calling All Boys.” Pushing himself to his feet he moved to take the telephone from his currently seething uncle, then glanced toward the window but decided against whatever plan popped in his head to dispose of it once and for all.

“Okay, next activity..!” Mabel glanced around the blanket fort, then took a clear box of colorful beads from behind her back. Ford chose not to question just how many activities she had hidden behind her back at any given moment. “Friendship bracelets! The ultimate way to seal a bond forever! Other than.. Maybe blood oaths, but that is not a sanctioned sleepover activity!” She swept an arm to the side, expression stern.

“Not a sanctioned sleepover activity,” Ford parroted under his breath. Nail-painting and friendship bracelets seemed to work, though, so.. Any girly, craft-y activity? 

The unnerving part of it was that he wasn’t surprised at all that he got himself roped into this.

Mabel took his hand again, wrapping a piece of string around his remarkably skinny, stick-like wrist and cutting it while leaving a bit of excess at the end. Likely for tying the knot. When she held out the string for him to take, he clasped his hand around it and watched as Dipper allowed her to measure his own wrist with a little smile.

A six-fingered hand reached for the box of beads and plucked out a couple of transparent red ones. He threaded one onto the string, hesitating before picking out four round letter beads. “FORD”, the bracelet now read, and he capped off the text with the other red bead. 

Six beads.

That’d be a very small bracelet. He grabbed two golden beads and bordered the design with them. Eight! Still not enough. It took a few minutes for him to finish, but by then he had a nice combination of greys, browns, and beiges as well as the red and yellow. 

He glanced at Dipper and Mabel, chatting as they worked on their own bracelets (Dipper went for a blue and white color scheme while Mabel went for pink and rainbow), and shifted away from them to let them have their conversation. Instead of talking to his family members he opted to fumble with the string in an attempt to tie it with one hand. 

Agonizing. Truly agonizing. He figured it’d be easier with an extra finger, but now he figured that he was an idiot for figuring such a thing.

“Oh, I got it!” Chirped Mabel as she leaned over to tie it for him and cut off the excess. Ford thanked her in a murmur and received a warm look as a response. Then she turned back to Dipper, nudging his shoulder. “Need me to do yours, Dippin’ dots?”

Dipper extended his right wrist, the one he had the bracelet wrapped around (and was holding together with his free hand), nodding. Ford was more of a “bracelet on the left wrist” kind of person but he wouldn’t judge.

..Out loud. 

“Thanks,” said his nephew as he adjusted the bracelet so the text would face outward. That made Ford realize his was askew, so he meticulously shifted his until it was perfectly centered. 

Then Mabel’s wrist with her bracelet was shoved into his face. “What do you think, Grunkle Ford? I was going for rainbows but I thiiiiiink I got a little sidetracked.” She poked the bracelet where the rainbows derailed into different shades of pink. Like Ford’s and Dipper’s, the letter beads read her name. “..I’m gonna paint the letters pink.”

Of course she was. Delightful. “That’d look nice,” he muttered, tracing his fingers over the beads of his bracelet, “do you need help?”

“Nope!” Mabel beamed at him as if that didn’t just shoot him in the heart. Instead of reacting he did his best to imitate her cheerful expression and made an affirmative noise.

..Well, he guessed he’d just die then or something. Fine. It wasn’t like he wanted to be helpful or anything. Whoop-dee-doo, he’d have a great time just withering here in this corner.. okay he was absolutely being dramatic. He couldn’t help it! Why didn’t Mabel want his help!? Probably because she could do it herself with relative ease and from another person’s perspective it may just seem like a burden asking him to do something they can do just as well.

But regardless– 

“Hey, I wanna paint mine too,” Dipper mumbled, eyes flicking to the left. “Your hands are steadier than mine.” He shifted to take a bottle of blue nail polish from the selection of colors Mabel had and extended it toward Ford.

Keeping the excitement out of his voice as he snatched the bottle was no use. “I can do that!” He opened the bottle, scrunched his nose at the strong chemical smell, and carefully began brushing on the blue paint. He knew it was out of pity. But.. It still felt nice, like he was wanted. “I don’t think I’m ever going to take mine off.” 

Wait, that ran the risk of damaging or, stars forbid, breaking it! No, he’d only wear it in safe situations. What would he do with himself if it got damaged!? Slink back to Mabel and ask her to fix it!? No!

“Me neither. I mean, Mabel would probably kill me if I did anyway.” Dipper rolled his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand he wasn’t currently trying to keep as still as possible.

Ford understood that, he decided with a cautious glance at Mabel, she absolutely would. He inserted the brush back into the bottle and twisted on the cap. And she looked back at him with this knowing stare. Like it was just a fact.

Then she spoke up, “so, anyway, about Calling All Boys–”

“Nobody wants to talk about Calling All Boys!” Dipper threw out his arms. A look at Ford sought confirmation, but was met with pursed lips and the look of a man in a conundrum.

If he was being frank, he had opinions! Opinions he needed to voice and felt he hadn’t already gotten across the last time David called! So he raised a hand and blatantly said, “David is awful. I hate David and none of them are even objectively dreamy. They all sound unnatural–”

“That’s because they’re text-to-speech.”

“–thank you, Dipper, but they’re just so robotic! How could I love a robot? ..actually, no, that seems like something I would do in some other universe.” He tapped his chin. “Probably only if they pass the Turing test, hm..”

“Really!?” Mabel gawked. “How could anyone possibly not like them ever!? Damien’s a total hunk! And you’ve gotta like William! He’s so your type!”

He shot a dark look at her. "Mabel. If I ever date someone, put glass shards in my Mabel Juice.”

But he wasn’t finished! “And, if I, stars forbid, end up on the arm of a William?” A hand gestured emphatically, then he brought it down in a swift gesture. “Drown me in a river, stick toothpicks in my eyes, remove them entirely and butcher and eat my corpse so I can't come back." He said all of that with a surprisingly unshaking deadpan. 

Because, really, who would date a William? Right, guys? We don’t.. We don’t do the Billford thing here. Don’t @ me on that. 

Mabel stared at him with her jaw dropped and her eyes wide for a moment, then shook her head and gave him a thumbs-up with a forced smile. “You, uh.. You got it, Grunkle Ford! I will totally do that!”

“This is why aliens don’t talk to us,” commented Dipper.

Putting up a finger, Ford supplied, “actually, I’ve asked, it’s because most of us are stupid and frankly animalistic in our.. that’s what you’re saying.” His expression flattened and his shoulders slumped. “That certainly is kind of you.”

“Yeah, man, I know.” He gave this grin that screamed ‘I’m being a little shit on purpose but what are you going to do about it’. Nothing, damnit, the boy had called his bluff that he hadn’t even made.

They all just stared at each other for a moment before Ford raised a finger. “And another thing, aren’t some of those.. Flirtations a little less than appropriate for children of our- your age? You’re.. Well.. little. And impressionable.” With a squint to accentuate it he pinched his fingers together in a small gesture. 

Dipper glanced to the phone, then shrugged. “I mean, didn’t seem too bad to me. You guys had worse stuff when you were kids, I made the mistake of looking into it.” 

Maybe a few of the things they’d chant while jump-roping weren’t appropriate either.. No, no, he doubled down.

“This isn’t Disney, Dipper.”

“That’s–” instead of arguing, Dipper shook his head. “You know what, no. Hey, Mabel, what’s next on the list?” 

Mabel rolled with it as usual. “Movies, duh! You sound like you’ve never had a sleepover!” A raspberry was blown at both of them as she whirled to her feet. “TO THE LIVING ROOM!!”

And to the living room they went.

“More sappy Disney movies?” Asked his nephew as he jumped onto the couch and snatched the remote, sticking his tongue out at Mabel when she pouted at him. “You’d probably like Lilo & Stitch. It’s got that found family element. And the whole supernatural thing going on.”

Supernatural, hm? That was his.. It was his thing really. Basically half of his personality as troubling as that was. He joined Dipper on the couch and flinched when Mabel jumped onto the cushion beside him. “..Well, I have no reason not to trust your judgement after last night’s recommendation..” 

“Ooh, that’s a good idea!” Mabel clapped her hands to her cheeks. “Then we can watch Steven Universe! Grunkle Ford, you’ve heard of Steven Universe, right?”

“..who is Steven and why does he get his own universe?”

This girl gasped. She almost fell off the couch, frantically reaching for the remote in Dipper’s hand. But of course he was having none of it and leaned back to kick at her arm. “Oh my gosh, Dipper! Lilo & Stitch can wait!”

“So can Steven Universe!” He reasoned in a shout. “Give it up!”

“You give it up!”

“No, you!”

“You!”

“You you you a thousand, million times!” Mabel tumbled back with a yelp as Dipper released the remote, then she eyed her prize with a look of pure triumph behind her sparkling eyes. “..no take-backs!” 

Dipper just leaned back with a sigh and crossed arms. “You’re like a gremlin. Or the candy monster.”

Resisting the urge to ask, Ford instead remained silent and watched Mabel navigate to whatever show she wanted them to watch as he pondered what the “candy monster” entailed. A monster made of candy? A monster who eats candy? Both were equally likely. 

What if it was a monster made by candy? Sentient candy? Like some sort of Frankenstein’s monst-

“Okay, so we’re gonna waaaaatch.. One episode first! And then we can watch Lilo & Stitch because I really wanna watch it now and then we can watch more Steven Universe!” Planned Mabel out loud, her eyes darting to Ford. “..If you like it!”

“I have no doubts that I’ll like it, honey.” He reached over to ruffle her hair. “You both have good taste.”

They both gave their respective mutters that the other sibling actually had bad taste, and they settled down to watch.

Lilo & Stitch was good. Very good. But he did not cry a single tear at the ending. Absolutely not.

Steven Universe? It.. certainly built intrigue what with the first episode hitting you with such bizarre abilities as the child, who is named Steven but does not have his own universe, is able to produce a shield from his.. Belly button? Which was a large gemstone? 

Not to mention the kids swearing up and down that the animation gets better later in the show and imploring him to not be deterred by how freakishly big Garnet’s hair was. 

Really. You could fit maybe nine of her heads just in her hair. Count it in the early episodes, that isn’t a joke.

He’d humor them.

He stood up and stretched out his legs, reflexively rising to his toes with the motion for a split second, and glanced back at the kids. “What do you two think about saving the rest of the show for later? I had quite the metabolism as a child, I could use a snack.” An empty, burning sensation in his stomach made itself known. “..or three, hm.”

Eat his weight in leftover mac n’ cheese. Yes. His thoughts on the mad scientist slander in Lilo & Stitch could wait. As a mad scientist himself, though, he’d have to speak out about it eventually.

Jumba was not a criminal, he was a brilliant mind and misunderstood. And he’d fight someone over that opinion.

“Snacks are the most important part of a sleepover,” Mabel blew such a loud raspberry that it peppered Ford’s face with spit, much to his horror, “of course we’re gonna have snacks!”

Ford shakily extended a hand toward the tissue box on the coffee table behind him, and Dipper passed it to him so he could aggressively scrub the germs from his face. When he finished he took a trembling breath and nodded. “Right, yes.” He murmured. “Let’s go and get some, then.” As he moved to step toward the kitchen, a hand grabbed the back of his sweater and tugged him back.

“In the attic, silly! C’mon!” Mabel snickered at him, then once again dragged him toward the stairs. Scruffed like a cat this time.

The door was loudly kicked open, Mabel dragging her stumbling uncle inside and Dipper boredly following with his hands in his pockets. She dove into the blanket fort again. “I have so many snacks!” announced the girl proudly when Ford crawled in himself. He just wanted mac n’ cheese.

“Let’s seeeee.. Chips?” She held up a bag of plain chips.

Ford shook his head. “Too salty.” 

“Okayokayokay. Candy corn?”

He considered it for a moment. Candy corn was good, but Halloween had just passed and he’d practically survived on it for a few days so he wasn’t too keen on it. “Too last month.”

Mabel’s eyes narrowed. “Blasphemy..” she whispered, glaring at Ford as she dug through her snack pile.

“It’s a seasonal treat, hun.” He waved a hand. “And don’t even consider anything minty.”

“Not even those chewy mints they put on pillows?” A red bag filled with the things was practically shoved in his face.

His eyes sparkled. “They sell those to regular people!?” 

“Yeah!” Conspiracy crossed her expression as she glanced around, then nudged Dipper’s elbow “If you know where to look..”

Dipper rolled his eyes, laughing softly. “They’re in the very back corner of the section in the grocery store with all the ice cream. On one of those rack things they always put in the middle of aisles to manipulate people into buying random junk?”

Ford nodded slowly, his chin resting on his hand. Stars, he could have just bought them? This whole time? But him and Stan fought over those things when they went to hotels as kids! It got so bad that their mother had to go to the front desk and ask for more! Since when could he just purchase them!?

“I am.. To say the least, offended that you’ve kept this from me for so long.” He pinched the wrapper of one of the candies until the mint was forced out of the other side and tossed it into his mouth, then flopped backward. “I am sixty-four years old, and I just learned that.”

“Come on, it’s not that devastating.”

“Let me eat my emotions, Dipper.” The mint crunched loudly under his teeth, and before it was even gone he grabbed another.

A weary sigh escaped Dipper and he slowly shook his head. “Aaaaand he’s chain-eating them. Can I at least have some?”

Ford gave a muttered, “oh, yes, of course,” and extended the bag toward Dipper and Mabel. Dipper took one while Mabel scooped out a handful.

“Doo-doo-doo, saving it for later..” she murmured as she tucked them beneath the fold of her sweater collar, leaving a few to eat now. Impressive makeshift pocket. 

When she finished storing the extras like a chipmunk she shoved the rest into her mouth, wrappers and all.

The awful part was that Ford didn’t even blink. He'd watched her do that (and told her not to) dozens, maybe hundreds of times by then. “You shouldn't eat plastic, sweetie,” uttered him halfheartedly.

“It’s fine, I’ve been eating glitter since I was, like, two!” The statement made Ford’s brows raise in surprise. Didn’t her parents think to teach her not to– he was suddenly even happier that him and Stan had custody. Wow.

Instead of commenting further he quietly lamented about her poor digestive system and popped another mint. 

Within minutes, the bag was empty and they’d dipped into both the candy corn and the pretzels.

“Okay, now that we’ve had snacks..” Pure mischief colored Mabel’s expression as she stood up (partially anyway, the ceiling of the fort wasn’t that high) and shuffled out of the fort. Scampering footsteps rang out around the fort, then the sound of.. Wheels?

“Oh, no.” Dipper whispered. “It’s the karaoke machine.” He was halfway through pushing himself to his feet before Mabel dragged the machine inside.

With a excited yell of, “KARAOKE!!” Mabel removed the microphone from the side of the machine and tossed it in her hand. “I downloaded a million new songs, who wants to go first?”

“I did not consent to this.” Ford stated with a slightly raised hand.

His nephew groaned and slapped a palm to his face. “You agreed to the sleepover. It’s implied to her.”

“That is not how it w–” he cut himself off with a yell as the microphone hit him in the face and Mabel gave a frantic “sorry!” Adjusting his glasses, he ignored the stinging from the frame being shoved into the bridge of his nose at what must have been mach five and put on an amused face to cover up the pain. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I hardly even felt it.”

Yes the hell he did, but that was fine.

He figured he’d just bite the bullet and suffer through the karaoke so Dipper wouldn’t have to. Singing was fun, anyway, he was just afraid to hear what this voice would sound like belting TiK ToK. Why was it capitalized like that? Was it because it was by Kesha? 

Personally, Ford wouldn’t use improper capitalization like that just because his first name started with an F. That would give his highschool English teacher heart palpitations. And him. 

“Okay, so, we’ve got..” Mabel scrolled through the different songs. “Every Chappell Roan song!” When Ford quickly shook his head she nodded, then continued. “How about Bonnie & Clyde?”

“Which one?”

“The K-Pop one.”

“No.”

“I think you’d like Language of the Lost!” Eh.. he shook his head again. He wasn’t in the mood for it. “Got it, got it.. Ooh, what about Highway to..” she glanced around, her voice lowering to a whisper. “Heck?”

Ford perked up. “Highway to Hell!? I didn’t know you kids knew that song!” Against his will his free hand excitedly flapped, and the one holding the microphone shook it back and forth. 

“I mean, it was in Megamind. A lot of older kids have at least heard it.” Dipper reasoned with an amused smirk that Ford was sure had nothing to do with his stimming. “So, that one, then?”

“..yes, that one.” He folded his arm behind his back, holding the microphone near his face with the other as Mabel started up the music with an eager squeak.

“Go for it, Grunkle Ford!” She cheered with two thumbs up.

Grinning, Ford nodded lightly nodded his head to the beat of the opening instrumental.

Just as he took a breath to start singing, he was met with the biggest disappointment of his life as the door slammed open with Stan on the other side.

“Who the he- the heck listens to AC/DC at two in the morning!?” He barked, actively picking the crust from one of his eyes. 

He was met with three shocked looks, not unlike the ones Dipper and Mabel had given Ford yesterday when they reduced their own cooking to ashes. 

“It’s.. two?” Ford whispered, his eyes flicking around the room for a clock but returning unenlightened, and he cleared his throat and tugged down his sweater sleeves. “I’ll just go to the basement, then–”

Stan stepped in front of him before he could do that. “Nope. Bed. You and the kids.”

Him and the kids? That separated him from the group known as “the kids,” making him not a kid. He appreciated that.

That aside, he was not going to bed. 

“I am not going to bed.” He grumbled as his niblings begrudgingly went to grab their pajamas. “You’re my brother, my younger brother at that. You don’t tell me what to do.”

With a roll of his eyes, Stan crossed his arms. Ford unconsciously mirrored the pose. “I do right now, you told me to make you go to bed if it starts gettin’ bad again.”

“I did not,” he hissed, because he would never give Stan authority over him! That was just spitting on his prestige as the older twin! Fifteen minutes, that was nine hundred seconds and each one coun–

“Stanley, I hereby authorize you to take any actions necessary to ensure that I receive at least most of the proper rest I require to function. I mean that. Really. I think I’ll die if I pull this many all-nighters again,” crackled Ford’s older voice on an audio recorder in Stan’s hand.

Ford just stared at him with puffed up cheeks and narrowed eyes for a moment before he realized, “you just.. Constantly carry that around?”

“That’s none of your business.” 

“He’s gotten me with that twelve times,” complained Dipper as he took from his drawer a white shirt with blue hems, a blue pine tree in the middle. Also known as: the exact same shirt he was currently wearing.

So the family was a bit sentimental about their zodiac symbols. People blindly followed those unscientific “star signs” all the time. How does the day of your birth dictate your personality!? A- Anyway, Stan put the tape recorder away and patted Ford on the head. “You said any actions and I have made chloroform before.” He threatened in spite of the way Ford reflexively stood on his toes to press the top of his head into his hand.

He knew Stan wouldn’t actually drug him. That would be awful. But as Mabel rolled out a sleeping bag for him in a nice corner of the blanket fort he figured he’d just relent. Just this once. “If you’re willing to go to such drastic measures, I’ll just have to comply.” He rolled his eyes. “Go back to sleep, I’ll make sure the kids don’t stay up.”

“Sure, you will.” Stan muttered flatly, placing his hands on his hips. “I’m holding you to that. Anyway, night, you three. Don’t let Bill bite or whatever.” He snorted and turned to leave. Dipper and Mabel followed, likely to brush their teeth, giving their respective goodnights.

“Night, Grunkle Stan!!” Mabel’s was accompanied with a hug that almost knocked Stan over.

“G’night, Stan,” and Dipper’s matched the energy of someone actually tired enough to go to bed.

If he was going to sleep, he’d might as well allow himself a modicum of comfort. Pajamas, then!

His adult clothes absolutely wouldn’t fit him. That complicated things quite a bit. With a finger moving to tap his chin and a drawn out, thoughtful hum, his eyes surveyed the room. Mabel’s clothes were out of the question. He wasn’t looking to have someone walk in on him putting on a skirt. 

Something manlier at least, like.. Shorts. Yes.

Actually, no, he’d rather it not happen at all. But now that the thought had been put in his head he felt like it was going to happen. He scampered over to lock the door just in case. Then he closed the window. 

Then he breathed a sigh of relief, recalling vividly that he’d sealed up all the cracks in the roof.

..Did he? Maybe he missed a spot. Oh, stars, this was horrible. Awful. Being alone in a room with his own thoughts. Nightmarish. It almost felt like–

His eyes landed on Dipper’s dresser and his mind shut up for just a moment. He was just about the same size as him, maybe a bit smaller but Dipper had not hit any sort of growth spurt, surely he could fit something of his.

Digging through the drawers (not without sorting the clothes because they were thrown in there haphazardly) proved fruitful as he took out a pair of red athletic shorts. They were made from a cool, breathable material, and best of all he’d never seen Dipper wear them in his life so he was sure he wouldn’t miss them.

Paranoia of being watched be damned. He put on the shorts. 

“Hm, comfortable,” he observed under his breath, looking down at the loose garment. A little big on him. That was an easy fix, he tightened the drawstring. There was something nice about wearing something other than long pants. His legs felt.. Freer. 

Next, he pulled the sweater off and folded it, setting it on Dipper’s bed as he folded his pants. Then he placed the outfit neatly on top of his dresser and worked to put away everything he’d taken out.

Socks and undergarments went in the top drawer. Tops in the drawer below it. Bottoms in the bottom drawer. All arranged from shortest to longest left to right.

The way it was supposed to be. Dipper’s system was wrong. 

When he’d closed the final drawer, placed his bracelet on top with a clatter and remembered to unlock the attic door, he settled into his sleeping bag. It was soft and immediately warm from his body heat. So, so warm. 

Just as he felt his eyes start to close he jolted back into reality with flailing limbs at the door slamming open.

“GRUNKLE FORD!!” Shrieked none other than Mabel the banshee, Dipper trailing behind her as she ran into the room. “You are not going to believe what I just found!” She did have her arms behind her back. This was usually a bad sign.

He tiredly rubbed his eye, then loosely gestured for her to continue.

“So I was looking around the basement while Dipper was brushing his teeth–”

“Because she’s a creep,” Dipper interjected.

“–and I found the cutest little guy!” With the sweetest little grin, she revealed the object from behind her back.

A beat-up lamb plushie with one button for an eye.

An old friend. 

On what must have been pure instinct he reached out and took the plushie from her, staring blankly at it. He remembered having the little thing through thick and thin in his childhood. Even after he let Pa kick Stan out. 

It wasn’t the same after that, really. It was never the same. But at least he had something to hold when he cried.

Of course, he didn’t cry anymore, no, he didn’t need a silly plush to manage his emotions. 

That didn’t mean he wouldn’t take it while he could, though. 

“What’s their name?” Mabel asked, crouching to inspect the plush as he hugged it to his chest.

He had to think about that one. Really think. And.. Nothing cropped up in his mind. Names he would give it, but not an actual confirmed name. “I.. don’t recall.” Shifting onto his side made for better hugging. 

That was how some childhood memories worked, he supposed. You remember the feeling, the meaning more than the details. But his body remembered exactly how he’d cuddle the ratty old lamb and reacted accordingly.

If he- it didn’t have a name, Ford figured he should give it one. “..um.. How about Lambert?” With his eyes half-open and his brain only half-functional it sounded like a wonderful name. 

“You mean like the German nam-”

“THAT’S SO CUTE!” His ears stung with the sheer volume of Mabel’s words, and he may have clutched the plushie a bit tighter but who was to say really.

..”Lambert” it was, then. If only the decision was less painful.

“Okay, well,” he ducked his head into the sleeping bag and looked out at the kids. “I’m going to bed. As long as you two are quiet and don’t do any.. Stupid sleepover pranks while I’m asleep, Stan doesn’t have to know however long you stay up.” A wink hopefully got his point across, and he took his glasses off to toss out of his cocoon. “..if one of you could set those somewhere they won’t get stepped on,” he requested under his breath.

Dipper gave a muttered affirmative and picked up the glasses, then Ford heard them being placed somewhere.

“We're just going to bed, right?” He asked, looking over at Mabel.

Mabel gave an enthusiastic nod. “Yeah, the most important part of a sleepover is sleeping!” She face planted into her bed, shimmying under her purple covers, and glanced at Dipper. “..You get the light.”

“Aw, what? I was just about to get into bed.” His arms spread out slightly, hands gesticulating.

“I did it first, though!” she replied cheekily.

A huffed, “fine,” drenched in the little anger he could manage to harbor toward his sister, and he walked over to the light switch on the wall by the door. It was a nice upgrade from the lantern.

With a click that Ford had engineered to be as crisp and satisfying as possible and was not disappointed by, the room was plunged into darkness.

“Good night, Mabel. And Grunkle Ford,” muttered Dipper as he settled into bed.

“Night, Dipper! Night, Grunkle Ford!”

“nhnhnhwhatevergoodnight.” Ford yawned deeply into Lambert’s matted fur.

A couple of giggles from the kids later the room was silent, and Ford went to sleep.

---author's note of sorts---

OKAY SO YOU MAY HAVE SEEN THAT BILLF*RD COMMENT HI DONT HURT ME okay so that is a joke. mostly meant to clarify that i dont ship it and that there will be NO in-fic mentions of it that aren't poking fun and to deter any ship tags. so uh. dont write me angry letters i can dislike what i want and tumblr kind of has a problem with harassing people over ships tmk so im just putting it out there right away that im not taking shit for it BE NICE GUYS

but if you're not here to tell me to go fuck myself then hey i literally could not care less!!! hope you enjoyed the fic!! :] /silly

[cryptidcr3ature]

So I was in the middle of nowhere all weekend so I had a list made on my notes app for a post and forgot about it.

RDR HORSES AS OTHER PETS

Bodecia- A mutt (probably part pit bull) dog who terrorized everyone and ate at least one of the entire gangs boots.

Old Boy- A Chesapeake Bay retriever who John cannot get out of the water.

The count- A cockatoo. Dutch acquired it from a very reputable breeder and treats that bird like a god. It also knows how to talk but only curses out the gang.

Silver dollar- An African Grey parrot. Hosea rescued his parrot from a bad situation and because of the situation, he can’t fly. However that means Hosea walks everywhere with that parrot on his shoulder. The bird sings show-tunes often.

Boaz- A rainbow boa. Javier is a reptile geek and has a really nice set up. He has had snakes all his life but nothing compares to Boaz. That snake is his first born child.

Taima- A German Shorthair pointer who was surrendered for being too energetic, and she still doesn’t trust a lot of people. However Charles takes her to the park every day for a hike, plays with her at every possible opportunity, and has been doing everything to get her to trust him. She’s absolutely a cuddle bug around him.

Maggie- A standard poodle who knows more tricks than any other dog in the gang. She is extremely well behaved, however she is spoiled by Lenny a lot. She will not eat if anyone feeds her but Lenny, but she will always beg for a treat from the others.

Brown Jack- The biggest, friendliest dog possible. He’s a mutt and no one knows what he is but he is LARGE. Bill carries him around like a baby though.

Ennis- A fuckass hamster that bites everyone. Sean loves that little guy though, even though his fingers are perpetually covered in bandages from hamster bites.

Old belle- an extremely judgmental Russian blue cat. She’ll always just stare at everyone and John has threatened to fight the cat.

[spinedog]

Please talk about birds and why their existence is horrifying!

For dabble prompt, Yang and Weiss making macaroni, as inspired by the recent Instagram where Barbara and Kara made macaroni.

You can request a ramble and drabble here, and see prompts I've finished and am currently working on!

Ramble - I have a lot of Emotions about birds and their relationship to mammals.

Drabble - The college AU returns: guess who has no fucking idea how to make macaroni, and who else finally got fed up with it.

Birds. Birds my beloved, birds my beloathed.

Here's the thing. Every time I research birds, for any reason, I learn something new and horrifying. I could fill a post the length of Do You Like The Color Of The Sky with the shit I know and fear about birds. Rather than go into a specific reason, let me explain the underlying reason why I find them both fascinating and disturbing.

Birds are endotherms (warmblooded), like us. They have a four-chambered heart, like us. They have complex social behaviours across multiple unrelated genera, like mammals. Many unrelated bird species use tools and can solve human puzzles. While not shared with us, birds also have paired larynx structures that let them make insanely complex noises. Between the intelligence and this ability, many species are capable of mimicking human speech - and at least one species has both scientific and anecdotal evidence of being able to use human speech to communicate. (The only mammal proven to be able to mimic verbal speech is a goddamn Grey Seal btw)

All of this is lovely until you take a step back and realize our ancestors diverged 300 million years ago. Our shared ancestral traits are a handful of internal changes, the loss of gills, keratinized skin, and fucking chest breathing. That is how goddamn little we have in common with birds ancestrally. To be clear, the first true mammal came along closer to 225 mya - but we are the only living group left from the synapsids, then therapsids, that grew Better Teeth and split off. In comparison, birds and crocodiles are the only living members from archosauria, and the arrival of birds themselves is still under a lot of debate but was probably around 150 mya.

This is the part that I find so fascinating. Go all the way back to that paragraph with all the things we share with birds. Both mammals and birds evolved all of those traits separately. And yet, despite being so far away that we may as well be alien, we've ended up on a parallel course to each other. Almost every part of our body, right down to the brain, works in a completely different way and yet the outcome is spookily similar. We can reason. We can problem-solve.

We've gotten to the point that a well-educated human and a well-educated grey parrot have stood eye to eye with each other and had a true, verbal, two-way conversation.

Seriously. Think about that. That's something we had to use sign language to do with our closest living relatives, and talking buttons to do with our longest-running domesticated companion species - and both happened in the last few decades. The first account of a 'talking parrot' was in 5th century BC.

I think that's a significant connection, on the grand cosmic scale of time and evolution. Sister groups not in blood but in destination, driven by curiosity and a miraculous set of coincidences, reach out and speak to each other in a language both are able to understand.

And I didn't even touch the fact that birds and mammals are the only two living vertebrates that developed fucking flight.

---

"I wouldn't use this in a hot pan, it's plastic."

"Oh." A pause. "Right."

Yang's voice coming from the kitchen wasn't new, but Weiss' certainly was. Blake poked out from her room, curious enough about the potential of dying in a house fire to emerge from midterm studying.

Immediately she saw Ruby, pressed up against the wall to stare down the stairs. The younger woman turned, catching sight of Blake and pressing a finger to her lips before motioning her forwards, kneeling to clear room for her. Blake slowly crept up, leaning over Ruby as they both peered around the corner.

Down the stairs, the small, messy kitchen was visible. Weiss Schnee hovered over the stove, hair pulled up in a ponytail and eyes wide with uncharacteristic worry. "Okay, I think it's all combined."

"Good, now you can pour the milk in." Yang appeared from behind the wall in their view, where she must have been standing by the fridge. "Don't do it all at once, pour in about... here. That much. Whisk it together until there's no clumps and then add the rest."

Blake turned her gaze downwards, bewildered.

"Weiss admitted she doesn't know how to cook mac and cheese." Ruby whispered. "Yang couldn't let that one go."

She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. It was probably bound to happen. Weiss hadn't had to cook for herself a day in her life, and Yang had probably been cooking for herself and Ruby since she could reach the stove. Sooner or later, there would have to be a collision. Of course, she had to feel a bit bad that no one had ever taken the time to teach Weiss any of it. But any guilt she felt was immediately overwhelmed by the sheer surrealism of the scene unfolding in the kitchen. Weiss had merely brushed off all points at her complete lack of housekeeping and cooking. And now here she was, taking lessons from the person who gave her the most shit for it.

"This all seems complicated?" The trademark Weiss sass wasn't gone entirely, even with her being miles out of her element. "Isn't mac and cheese supposed to be a really simple thing that kids can make?"

"That's Kraft dinner. This isn't much harder to make and tastes way better, so we're starting with it. Relax, ice queen, it's hard to screw it up completely."

Weiss heaved a frustrated sigh, whether it was at the nickname or the recipe wasn't clear. "Is the pasta in yet?"

"Nope, water still isn't boiling." Yang had leaned against the cupboards, clearly amused.

"They always say, to uh." Weiss looked up, blinking. "A watched- when you look- when you watch the bowl of- it never boils." She looked over, as if hoping Yang might have understood the verbal equivalent of an orchestra falling down the stairs.

Yang nodded sagely. "Exactly."

Blake pulled herself away from the corner, barely choking back laughter. Ruby's breathing devolved into chaotic inhales.

"Seriously, what is the saying?! Something about pots? And watching it?"

"No, no you nailed it. A watched when you look when you watch-"

"Yang Xiao Long I will beat you with this spatula I swear to God."

She could hear the grin in Yang's voice. "You and what ladder?"

That was the final straw for both Blake and Ruby. Ruby broke first, the laugh escaping like a water from a high pressure hose. Within moments both of them were in hysterics, Ruby on the floor and Blake leaning against the wall, fighting for air.

"Well." Blake managed to look over, and found Weiss glaring at them both from the bottom of the stairs, hands on her hips. "If you two are going to have input, you may as well get downstairs and help cook."

It was a fair enough point, and the two women managed to pull themselves down the stairs and into the kitchen, still wiping tears away. Yang watched them sit down at the table, clearly fighting back a laugh of her own.

Weiss re-entered the kitchen, frowning down at the water in the pot. A split second of quiet.

Blake wasn't much of a comedian - but she knew when the timing was right. "A watched pot never boils, Weiss."

Yang broke like china, falling against the fridge with a howl of laughter. A spatula bounced off the center of Blake's forehead, and it was worth every second.

[bomberqueen17]

the gay dolphins are too powerful

yesterday i was facing the facts that i do need to actually work out the technical mcguffins in this novel. like, i have some vague notion that there's a problem with the radio network because of solar flares and our heroes are going to... somehow... fix it. idk.

plot and worldbuilding wittering behind the cut

this was the main plot in the solarpunk mammoths novel too, and i had a vague notion that a problem on such a global scale as that would need to like. it would need to be solved by more than one person. and so my nebulous notion is that possibly several sets of characters could work on it in these loosely-connected novels where really i'm just exploring different ecosystems.

idk i just-- y'all know about the Turkey City Lexicon right? I got it as a hand-out in college creative writing class and of course it reshaped my brain, but. one of the Tropes To Beware they've got is the Cozy Catastrophe, which is startlingly prevalent and once you see it you can't unsee-- "the world is ending! all of humanity will die! unless... Jeff and Suzy, you're our only hope!" and our two everyman protagonists somehow are the only resources the entire world can muster and honestly the entire world seems to consist of one American city block with about three hundred people in it at most. Hm.

so i was like yah this catastrophe is way too cozy.

meanwhile i forget how it came up but @sonnetsandsinging, helpfully spitballing, said something about space whales and i was like

OMG in a world with genetically-engineered mammoths with radio collars that translate their brain waves to allow them to speak in human language it is ABSURD that they are the only species of animal that has been given this treatment

so like. what other animals do we try to talk to all the time besides elephants?

DOLPHINS

so now this world has genetically-engineered dolphins with brainwaves-to-speech dorsal fin attachments. like duh of course it does. i can't believe I hadn't thought of that.

there should be other animals too but i can't decide which ones, currently taking submissions. What Else Should Slightly-Disconcertingly Speak.

(My criteria: should be an animal intelligent enough to have successful communication with humans already, something relatively long-lived, something that couldn't use sign language or other methods already. My concept, which is not scientific really, is that it's been well-studied that while many animals have complex communication systems, humans are the only ones whose brains are structured specifically for language, so the Magic Fictional Science here is that they've had that ability genetically-engineered in, but of course the physical production of human-intelligible language is beyond the physical structure of most animals, hence the brainwave-interface collars. which btw could also be used on profoundly disabled humans, and that might be a plot point at some point; i do have some disabled characters in this story. I know I researched those like, communication board things that nonverbal humans can use and I settled on Magical Radio-Networked Interfaces that speak out loud instead for the simple expedient of streamlining things because like how is a mammoth going to carry a communication board around that it can like get out and point at. how is a dolphin going to carry anything. so, this is just where I ended up.)

(I was thinking parrots but then parrots wouldn't need the collar because they can actually make human-speech noises on their own. so that's a fun variation. maybe in this world african grey parrots actually just talk.)

Anyway back when I first started the solarpunk mammoths novel I researched Asian elephants a lot and studied their social structures and read up on their physical abilities etc., so in between trying to find out how radio waves and semiconductors work (i get the radio waves thing & think i have my mcguffin sorted out but semiconductors made my eyes glaze over and then begin weeping so i gave up) (also supercapacitors i don't understand u sorry bye) (do i know any electronics engineers who want to explain this in normal languages? shit i do know a chemical engineer maybe she knows. heck) ... ok i wandered away from this post to text her and then forgot i was making it. i did not get a lot of sleep last night the amphetamines are not being kind this go-round but i must continue the experiment. uhhhhh where was i

GAY DOLPHINS

too powerful

Yeah so I started researching dolphins, because if I'm going to have named-and-speaking dolphin characters, I need to know a little bit about how they work.

Now I have a slight head-start on this, just as I did on mammoths. Mammoths, I've been obsessed with since I was a toddler. But dolphins. For a while I used to go to SCA camping events and there was this guy who used to be a Navy diver and then worked for Sea World and he. well he was really good at telling stories, was his deal. And he had Seen Some Shit, and some of that shit was about interacting with dolphins. And the thing about dolphins is that. Well, they're violent little chaos gremlins, and just in the course of going about their normal lives, one of the things they do to interact with the world is, well. they have sex with things.

when they do this to people it is generally not a positive experience for the person. but. so i knew that going in. and most of the information on the internet about dolphins is really like. earnest and loving and whatever, which is great. but the thing is that dolphins are chaos gremlins who will fuck anything they can't eat, eat anything they can't fuck, or sometimes do both to the same unfortunate object if it proves to be possible.

what i'm saying is, these are going to be really entertaining characters to work with. because elephants, conversely, do not have recreational sex. they do a lot of things, but they just don't really do that. so dolphins are like. inverse-elephants, culturally.

Elephants also tend to have a strong matriarch, strong bonds between females, and then the males tend to be largely solitary, but will congregate more loosely, often around an older male who will teach them manners. (A well-mannered bull is MUCH more likely to be allowed to mate with desirable females, who have little patience with male foibles.)

Dolphins have looser gender roles; on the whole, the females tend to loosely congregate, and pregnant females usually go back to their mother's pod to birth and raise young, not dissimilar to elephants, but the males--

male dolphins very, very frequently will pair-bond. Two males of similar age-- adult males have very little to do with juveniles of either sex, generally-- will pair-bond and will be inseparable for the rest of their lives. If one of them dies, the other will mourn-- mourning behavior is well-documented in dolphins-- and then will seek to pair off with another adult male, because male dolphins prefer to work in pairs, for survival and companionship. (Dolphin "pods" are also more loosely-organized than elephant herds; dolphins will have a couple of core companions, but then will freely associate and disassociate with other individuals and groups over short periods of time without much fuss, depending on the situation.)

The pair-bonded males are the ones who in the wild do the behavior you see in shows, where they do like synchronized jumps and very-close fast-precise swimming and such, which in the wild are apparently courtship or threat displays-- i.e. "look how tight we are, you can't fight us" or, alternately, "isn't that hot" because

yes that's often how they court females. The pair will corral a desirable female and herd her away from other dolphins so they can both mate with her, and keep her from mating with anybody else.

(other females have been observed collaborating to free a corralled female who did not want this to happen, so it's not quite as rapey as it sounds. though, i mean. dolphins. what can you do.)

anyway dolphin threesomes are canon. but that derailed the rest of my night and i was unable to concentrate on anything else because the gay-- I should say really bisexual dolphins are too powerful.

so anyway i wrote a test scene with a dolphin character, and i had my main character take his wife and baby down to the jetty to introduce them to his dolphin pals, and a bonded male pair he'd known for years showed up and immediately tried to steal the wife, and then expressed shock that he didn't have his male best friend with him, because in their experience breeding was THEE most important time to have your buddy with you. He explains that his buddy is off on a long-term work assignment, and they're like hmph next time you breed you MUST include him, it is so much easier trust us. and the wife is like hmmmmm!

henceforth i will refer to m/m/f threesomes as "dolphin style" you're welcome

[eldritch-alicedoll]

It’s been 4 almost 5 year in Twst and now it’s might be a good time to summarise twst TL for my baby girl again. I’m aware that Yana sensei did mention that we can all decide the TL of the event by ourselves. Some event can’t be overlapping like Fairy Gala and it is fine cuz I want the second one to happened for my girl. (Sorry Leona senpai XD)

I try to make a road map for my girl since her growing from a clueless small punny to someone with a strong backbone happens through an experience share with the boys.

The way she start on the left and slowly transform to the right (ignore that bat they exchanged hair clip after officially date…….) with confident and cheerfulness……I want to tell that kind of story next year

Start > Prologue : like most Yuu she wake up here in the sourcing house ceremony but get amnesia and get blast by Grimm Fire which result on her have to cut her hair. Couldn’t say we here for 2 days…….more like thing happen in 24 hour 😂 drop in to Ramshackle at night , Grimm join the party. Then first thing after task to clean the street by Crowley then Ace shit us and detention after detention almost get expelled. Rolling from hill and we get to face the first blot monster. Retrieving the crystal and back to Crowley. Become the student then Bamm!

Book 1 happen in the same day we become student…..like 2 am? Idk my girl can’t say no to Ace bumb into the bed and being bully by both Grimm and Ace. The first day (for us) at school so we now student…..

The first time my baby girl get to talk to Lilia but briefly. Then she get summoned to Pomfiore because Vil can’t stand her hair cutting skill. It’s look terrible like unwash puppy…..thing in Heartslabyul keep rolling then while go get an egg with Deuce. Sam san give her a girl uniform but she refuse to wear skirt since Ace tease her. (That uniform had been untouched since here in Ramshackle wardrobe) She pick grey waistcoat and tie reflecting her mental state at that point……..

She try to return Riddle’s ceremony robe she borrowed and I think her puppy love episode start here. Later on at some pint Trey think it’s a good idea to cheer for Daia since it might be good in a long term if Riddle got something other than study to focus on while Ace is try to sell his bud to distract Riddle……He care about Daia okay but it’s win-win situation too

The day after is the unbirthday party which turn chaos….end up challenging Riddle and face our first Overblot. I think Riddle might need a day or two to heal up before turn up on the next unbirthday party where he fall for Trey joke and put oyster sauce in the tart.

The gap between the Overblot and second unbirthday party probably be the they when Cater ask Daiya and gang to live up their light music club performance . The boys pick their club so do Daiya where she get to become the 4th member of Light music club. Grimm does not recruit in since they want alone time from each other and club activities doesn’t require magic…….may be Grimm would start his own Grimm sama club (unofficially club that Crowley just don’t wanna fuss about)

Book 2 happened during the official magift tournament between dorm. She got bully by everyone 😂 and often sulk in the club getting help from the 3 easy going senpai. Kalim start feeding her crazy (cuz Daiya eat Tamago gohan for as a coping mechanism from her stress 🤷‍♀️ and Kalim……being Kalim see his junior eat raw egg on rice = she is broken. Ofcause Kalim will try feed Daiya like that parrot in Alladin) so she likely know Jamil for a while (but not his true colours until Book 4) the 4 of them end up chit char in Scarabia. Lilia had been consulter (And probably psychiatrist too) for her so they grow closer. But he won’t know about Tsunotarou incident yet from both Mal and Daia.

Metting the Savannaclaw and face another overblot she start to realise that she’ll die if she still being the same. So around here instead of Book 3 she meet Mal for the second time. And she Copy Ruggie habit of athletic between the broom in Magift and likely ask Mal for help. Yeah……..the nick name little Crow start here cuz she hang on Mal broom while he playfully speed to the sky teasing her)

Then it should be nice where Bean day 1-2 happening: I think it’s the first time she stand up against other at the end of bean day. Where Rook start call her Trickster and Floyd call her starfish chan……..and likely during Bean day Lili could found out thing between Mal and Daia so he kinda plan on having Daia get close to all his boys especially Sebek. Since they close in year and they got opposite traits. That kind of smile at the end of Bean day might be something Briar Valley need hmm…….

(Idk if Bean day suppose to be Zetsubon in jp which should be happened in January right. And some say this could happen before Book 2 but for the development of my baby girl. It’s should be here)

Book 3 happened during first test right? (I grow up in very traditional school…..like 130+ year boarding school full of haunted story……similar to Ramshackle but better condition so idk how other school divide the test) so during the deal with Azul. A big commotion happen while the gang first visit the merfolk museum. Daia drowned…..well technically she not since Azul’s potion work perfectly fine but being under water stirred her memory so the Leech twin and Acdeuce combined drag her back. Riddle out burst to Azul and the light music club isn’t quite happy. Azul break off the deal since he was ensure to provide the potion but the potion is failing and he take full responsible in it. Ace Deuce Grimm go back in slavery work in Mostro lounge but Daia secretly go back to make a deal with Azul again. This time with secret guide by Mal and a help from Leona gang to do the same of what happened in Book 3

They live happily for a while in campus until they got bomb bath by Ghost marriage event. Daia is send with the second team to fakely cry to the princess that Idia is her lover but being too scared to she end up congratulating to the princess and stay as Idia’s guest instead…….fucking traitor 😂 Leona push her to move them into more comfortable positions and demanding thing around. Lilia also join in teasing and kinda have a good time. Almost ignore Idia until Ace team arrive to save the day. Then Lilia card story happens when he show off to Daia and get freak out by the price of Kalim’s treasure…..they almost get in a dance so Cater start aware of this two chemistry. He start to act as third wheel to make sure Lili doesn’t fully win the girl before Riddle.

May be another event take place here likely to be wish upon the star since Daia is closer to Deuce and Trey now. Ortho get to talk to Daia and they talk more about her amnesia symptoms. May be future event can be here as well cuz it’s sound like a big gap until the break

Daia & Riddle relationship probably at peak around here. It’s a wrong call from both end since Heartslabyul gang encouraged her too soon so everything fall apart before the break. They don’t get to clear thing up as much as they wish to. Thing between Mabu and Daia also get affect cuz she sulking and avoid the topic. And they part way on the break with all that angst

Book 4 happen on school break……so yeah except what happen in Scarabia. Jamil finally exploded with Daia habit of eating raw egg on rice 😂 in his point of view. He had to make extra potion for her since Kalim ask for it but instead of being grateful. This little shit go back to eat garbage food so he had enough. But does he still cook for her ..? Yes! But he doesn’t shut his mouth anymore. He even laugh if she get stomach cramps if she eat raw egg. So Daia learn how to shout back from Jamil lol in the most stupid way ever. Oh and Azul claim that whatever he own Daia is now clear off. They are in good terms

Mal card drop in my Lilia. He fully aware of their relationship now. Mal also accidentally become a consult for Daia staying in Twst. And encouraging her to take after Trappola and Spade to talk thing out….kinda like Sebek and Silver.

They make up and white rabbit fest happening introducing Silver to Daia.

Book 5 : it run for a month if I still correct…. I’m hesitant to put Harveston Sledathon here since I’m not sure if Vil will let Epel off for couple days. May be Daia and Epel need to beg hard and accept the consequences. But January should be a snowy month and it’s good for Daia to get to know Sebek too

Then another overblot happen. Tsunotarou identity revealed. And Lilia drop a bomb on her telling how he had a thing for her. I think what’s going on between Lilia and Daia. He was going to play match maker for Daia and one of his boys for a while. He thinks she’s adorable and her presence in Briar Valley is something he looking forward to. And Mal talk some sense into him. The girl already hesitated about belonging to twst since her break up? With Riddle. Mal barely hold her so whatever you want to do just do. Lilia confesses to her. He say he can wait since he had no idea his time is too short than what he had expected. And being selfish for once. Being honest for once isn’t that bad. Even if he plan to part way with her at some point before graduate. He can teach her a thing or two about love and being loved. Bonk him bonk himmmmmmm yeah Daia is very sweet to him then she will punch him at the end of book 7.

Book 6 : and happen right after book 5

Firelit sky : over the sand happen so I got a sibling moment between Mal and Daia here

And cloudcalling on the Savanna can be here to so Daia and Lilia get more time tgt before the nuclear bomb in book 7

Book 7 : so at the beginning Lilia broke up with Daia and about to leave forever in a week 😂 my girl fight back. She face 7 overblot and almost the end of the world. There is nothing to fear……..she ask to spend time with Lilia as his gf only to break down at the end and Mal know it. She is another reason why Mal overblot for sure. And regardless of how thing going in end of chapter 7. She will get her memory back and her relationship with Mal bloom into Big brother - Little sister thing. Unofficialpart of Diasomnia family at this point. But thing with Lilia oh please do i need to say that he need a lot of make up for it?? And after Book 7 she change her uniform. She finally wear that NRC girl uniform she get since book 1

(Idk where book 8 gonna be we have to wait)

Port fest happened here cuz I want my girl to team up with Ortho and open her Japanese traditional sweet shop.

Fairy Gala if (Sorry Leona your one not happen in this TL) I revisit the event recently and I think it’s quite nice to summarise the relationship between the 1st year. Othro had grown up as a person. Sebek is open up for friends that not from Briar Valley. Daia could lay back and be a supporter for once and the whole thing how she view Fae kin affect her relationship with Mal and Lili. Especially if Season 2 of Twst coming up in a few years (i hope)

Camp Vargus

Stitch event can happen here too cuz it’s kinda wrap up thing between Riddle and Daia.

Then All the Halloween is happen here. I want Halloween to be the end of their year

Masquerade first

Lost in the book with The nightmare before Christmas

Then Halloween 1-2

Playful land might be push further back between book 4 and 5 it’s not that affect and it’s give more event for Daia & Ace + Daia & Lilia

Cooking class would be scattered around all year so whatever it’s sound like an on going class…..

And whatever I rant about might be scrapped and rewrite to whatever I come up with again when I write it for real lol 😂

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

okay, this is a genuine attempt to engage, i promise! i'm just too cowardly to go off anonymous. personally, i don't disagree with the core things these people are getting at, even though i really disagree with how they go about it.

it's true the creator of TLOU has drawn from the real-world conflict in gaza. he's on record framing it as like "desperate, conflicted people on both sides" narrative, which i think is fucked up when the reality is there is one side of that conflict that endures greater suffering due to power imbalances, racism, etc. i think that is true. it is my opinion (and obviously does not have to be yours!) that TLOU is deeply flawed in framing a real-world conflict with this “both sides” narrative. and i do agree media like this doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it shapes how people understand real-world power, violence, and oppression. i do wish the fandom made more space to discuss how that potentially reinforces the problem, but they're so incapable of doing it without descending into personal drama. they make it about them and not about wanting to actually talk about this because well... this is tumblr so obviously it's curated af and they can't escape their own egos. anyway, i'm not trying to preach here but i'm genuinely curious like, does that not kind of reframe why some people are like, "this is torture porn?!" perspective?

i think the way those two particular blogs that have been named already are going about this is so immature. they made posts on their blogs calling out behavior rather than directly engage with you because theoretically, even if you were calling them out specifically in your original post, i had no idea that was what was happening until they created a narrative saying so and until they perpetuated the drama with their attention-seeking behavior. like publishing that shit on their blogs and claiming they're trying to have a conversation... anyway... i guess i would like to TRY to have a normal convo about this.

i dont know any of the people who are i guess making sub posts about me. again, ive not been tagged in anything, and i dont go seeking out hate posts about myself so lmao. they can continue to circlejerk.

tell ya what. im going to talk about the CONTEXT and TIMEFRAME of Neil Druckmann's actions bc these things matter and are routinely glossed over by people who would rather water things down so they're easier to digest. In depth, complex discussions that acknowledge grey areas aren't as easy as just screaming "ZIONIST!" at anybody who enjoys TLOU, but here's the former:

most of what I see people parroting is an opinion piece from 2020

here is an article from April of this year that does a decent job at condensing Neil Druckman's comments about Israel and Gaza and TLOU

here is an excerpt I think is worth sharing:

The impetus for Ellie’s trajectory in Part II came from Druckmann seeing footage as a teenager of Israeli soldiers being lynched in the West Bank. He couldn’t shake the fact that there were cheers after such violence. “It was the cheering that was really chilling to me,” Druckmann told the Washington Post in 2020. “In my mind, I thought ‘Oh, man, if I could just push a button and kill all these people that committed this horrible act, I would make them feel the same pain that they inflicted on these people.’” Once that anger subsided, Druckmann said he felt disgusted over his own fury. But that made him think about how humanity processes hatred. “I landed on this emotional idea of, can we, over the course of the game, make you feel this intense hate that is universal in the same way that unconditional love is universal?” 

In a 2023 interview with Haaretz, Druckmann was keen to note that being inspired by something and basing a game on something are two different things. “It was inspired by, not based on,” Druckmann said of The Last of Us Part II and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. “That’s a really important nuance, because my inspiration is like my feeling towards a cycle of violence that I’ve experienced as a child growing up in Israel, growing up in the West Bank specifically, coming to the United States and observing it then from the outside, vs. being in it.” “This game deals a lot with tribalism,” Druckmann continued. “Sometimes tribalism on a very large scale, between two groups that are fighting for land—and again, that has obvious similarities to stuff that happens in the West Bank—but sometimes it’s tribalism within its own group…a sense of a group that feels righteous. And when you’re righteous, it’s very easy to diminish another group and say, ‘They are less than me, and I’m correct and they’re wrong, and therefore that gives me permission to inflict violence upon them.” 

It's possible to acknowledge Neil Druckmann's personal experience influencing themes throughout the story without oversimplifying it and deeming the entirety of it as Zionist propaganda. Him leaning into the worst parts of himself/humanity, being disgusted with his ability to lean so easily into that, and wanting to creatively explore it isn't Zionist propaganda. I think where people fail to make the connection in many of these statements is TLOU (both games and first season) was created prior to the events of Oct 7.

(IMPORTANT TO NOTE: this current conflict is another facet of an extensive history of conflict between Israel and Palestine. It's an incredibly chaotic, messy, and violent history that cannot possibly be summed up in this post alone. There is also the history of politics in Palestine itself that I recommend you read about.)

Neil Druckmann was born in 1978, decades into what we now acknowledge as the ongoing conflict. His first real exposure to the violence from the ongoing conflict would most likely be when he was a teen, which is what he references in that "kneejerk reaction" comment. The comments about being inspired by and not basing material on something were in April of 2023.

Now, let's talk about his actions after Oct 7. A few hours after the news broke, he posted an Israeli flag on IG with the caption Israel forever written in Hebrew. A few days after that he posted to twitter about a donation to an Israeli based charity Zaka, who purport themselves to be volunteer rescue and paramedics.

Let's take a minute to talk about Zaka. They have a weird history with questionable actions/leaders across the spectrum. Sometime in the mid 2010s they were given some privileges with United Nations. Zaka immediately started fundraising after Oct 7. A few months later a report came out that exposed the shadiness, purposeful misinformation, and mismanagement of funds by the organization.

Sometime in mid October, Druckmann tweeted about a donation to a Middle Eastern Red Cross humanitarian charity that isn't directly affiliated with any entity involved in the current conflict. The tweet highlighted that Playstation matched his donation, and he was thanking them. This tweet included both the Israeli flag as well as the Palestinian flag.

all this to say....

Surprise, surprise: a guy who spent some of his formative years in Israel has a complicated and oftentimes questionable-leaning-ugly conduct about Palestine.

Water is wet. Demanding that he retroactively apply current circumstances to his past self is not only impossible but also derails legitimate discussion and warranted critique; however, his trajectory is not one I'd readily align with a Zionist.

And bc I know some of you ignorant bitches lack media literacy, I'll make it easy for you:

Fuck Israel and their military state. The Palestinian people deserve freedom and peace, and yes even at times from their own presiding political groups.

catch ya later, Puddles

[ntls-24722]

Mecha, the "not an african grey."

She's a sapient bird who can talk and control anything she perches on. She can drive a car by sitting on the wheel, type away and game on a computer by just having a single clawed foot on the touchpad, and even control someone by sitting on their shoulder.

Its caretaker's name is Yanely, who was working at Area 51 before being hired by the government to essentially be Mecha's alter ego after Mecha was discovered, so Mecha can live a normal life through someone who just looks like they reaaaallly love their pet parrot. Yanely actually kinda loves her job as a bird's meat puppet not gonna lie, it's easy as hell. You just sit back and let the bird do everything. You now just have a bird roommate.

Mecha says she is not a parrot, and she is... somewhat right? For example, other than the whole "being able to talk and control things" thing, Mecha can also eat human food (most notably, chocolate, which sends every bird-lover around her in a tizzy if witnessed), and seems to be generally knowledgable about human things. However, she doesn't answer on what she is, either. She probably doesn't even really know. Also, Mecha was supposed to pose as Yanely's service animal as a cover, but it turns out Yanely did develop epilepsy that Mecha was able to pick up on and now Mecha is now actually Yanely's service animal.

There is technically a third character (at this point), "Daniela", who is the government recognized human-sona that Mecha poses as through Yanely. Daniela actually has a job, it's online and Mecha just sits at a computer most of the time to do it, but it's still under "Daniela." Nobody knows Daniela is just a bird.

Fun fact, Mecha was originally a crow piloting a human-sized wooden puppet, whose head was the perch that the crow would sit on, like a fucked up object head. I thought it was lame in comparison to like... all of this crazy shit going on

[no-stupid-questions-official]

What do I do if I suspect an animal is distressed in a business?? There's a cafe nearby that has a few birds in cages in the entryway. Most seem fine, but there's an African Grey parrot that has over-preened to the point that its chest is bald. I haven't kept any birds, but I know enough about them that I know they ONLY do that when either incredibly stressed or bored out of their minds (and I hear if this goes untreated long enough, they start picking their skin off). Is this a "talk to the manager and see if they're already working on it" situation or a "call animal welfare right now" situation?? I'm sure there's a better place to ask this but idk where I'm sorry.

-

[africangreyparrot-cees]

Let me (re-) introduce Cees!

Cees is a Congo African grey parrot, born in captivity. She's 10 years old (turning 11 this year) and lives with me and my boyfriend. We also have 2 dogs and 2 house chickens (serama chickens, the dogs are both mixed breeds).

Cees looovvees talking, whistling, destroying toys, imitating the fire alarm and getting scratches from my boyfriend. She knows some English words, but most words she knows are in Dutch because we are Dutch (🤣)

She has a big vocabulary, so be sure to expect some videos of her talking in the future!(with English subs probably)

I am Not allowed to touch her whatsoever. She takes to male humans a lot, so my boyfriend is her to go to person (so are my dad and my younger brother who visit some times) for scratches.

Cees and I have come to an agreement however; I am allowed to feed her and she only takes new, never before explored foods from me. I get a thank you sound from her when I feed her.

She also gives me kisses through the cage (she grabs the bars with her beak, which I am allowed to kiss) when she goes to bed or wakes up. But only if she feels like it, I get bitten on occasion 😅

Due to my living room being smaller than my dad's house, I no longer have Cees in her large wall cage. She now has a normal parrot cage we have her in when we are at work (6 hours tops) and when she goes to bed. Cees has a tree she can play in outside of her cage and I've put some toys above it (hanging from curtain rails) for her to destroy.

Cees loves her veggies and fruits and annoys us daily to give her some haha.

I once left her unattended on her tree in our living room, but I never will do so again. It probably was only 30 minutes before I discovered I accidentally left her there, but when I came downstairs she had already ripped off some wallpaper 🥲 she, of course, just laughed at me and watched as I picked up the pieces from the ground. I honestly just laughed with her at that point. I was lucky she went for the wallpaper, not the couch or the tv🫣

Well, enough ramblings for now, I am confident I will upload more stories/pictures/videos in the future for you guys to enjoy!

If you've got any questions, please do not hesitate to ask🥰

But do be kind, for I will not respond to unkind messages!

I hope you guys are gonna love Cees as much as I!

[palepinkgoat]

Wednesday - pet edition!

Thank you for the tags @mybrainismelted @nozenfordaddy and @energievie! Name: Karen!

Location: Atlanta

Do you currently have any pets? Yes!

If you do, how many and what kind? Two. A brown pitbull mix named Alvin and a curious grey kitten named Lena.

If you don't, why not?

Did you have a lot of pets growing up? We always had one at least. A cat, then another cat, then a dog, then another dog, and my parents kept having dogs after I left. We only had one at a time except there was a little overlap with my cat and the first family dog.

How do you pick names for your pets? I chose my old cat's name after a potential name I thought of for one of my kids - Penelope. But the kids wanted to call her Penny so we did. Alvin came with his name at 10 weeks old and it was just so funny having this tiny baby pitbull named Alvin so we kept it. Lena got her name from Hurricane Helene and was named by my daughter's friend, but I already loved that name! Lena came to us right after the storm had passed through and my daughter was really verklempt about her having been in the rain and wind by herself. She was really young and emaciated and full of crud but we just loved her on sight.

Favourite pet you've ever had? Don't like picking faves, but I will say I miss our old cat Penny. She was crotchety and only liked me and hated being petted but in bed liked to curl up in the crook of my arm and purr while staring up at me. She disappeared last year when the back door was accidentally left open. With her leaving there was no closure. I have a feeling she was taken and killed by a coyote because they were EVERYWHERE during that time, including once in our yard. And we live smack dab in the middle of this major city and they are still around. I hate to think of her dying like that 😭

If you could pick any animal that has ever existed to have as a pet, what would it be? A pegasus?

And finally, of the actually realistic animals to have as pets… which one would you most like that you've never had? A parrot. They freak me out a bit and I know they can be nasty and possessive and live forever, but like, I'd love to have a colorful talking pet.