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redliferiot · 2 years ago

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ok here i am writing out my thoughts on double life pearl. pulling out my literary analysis brain for an unscripted minecraft series thats how it is

more below cut

so my interpretation of life series pearl (in both last and double life) is fundamentally tied to her relationship with scott so i'll also be speaking abt him alot in this little ramble

scott won last life. last life, fundamentally, was built on blocks of betrayal. while 3rd life had its healthy does of backstabbing, its got nothing on what the boogeyman mechanic introduced. all alliances suddenly got far shakier. no one could really trust anyone, but scott did not play by the rules. during his first time as boogey, he directly told his teammates (never stated to be against the rules but as far as i can tell hes the only person to have done this ever) and goes to kill someone who is specifically against him & his allies (rip impulse). during his second chance at life-series sanctioned amicide, he breaks the rules even further. he downright refuses to kill one of his allies- at this point in the series, anyone not red is his ally, so killing any of them would result in an ally lost. scott remained loyal in a game of backstabbing, and it earned him the victory.

if last life was a game of backstabbing, then double life was a game of loyalty. the soulmate mechanic not only reinforced ties of loyalty- literally paring up players into neat pairs- but it relied on that. if you shared a health bar, you'd have to be loyal to one another, or else you'd die. it's practically set up for scott to succeed, just like he succeeded during last life. if he plays all the same cards, he'll win. the game is designed with him in mind. he's even paired up with his most trusted ally from last life, pearl. he can't lose.

except, he absolutely can, because through the folly of circumstance, he and pearl end the first session wanting nothing to do with each other.

once again scott has broken the rules of the series. he's scorned his soulmate (who, in another life, was such a trusted ally he'd doom himself to red to spare her), and broken the chain. even in a game designed for him, he breaks the rules.

and this is where pearl gets involved

pearl, throughout both last life and double life, is paired with scott- once on their own terms (her terms, really- as she was blessed with extra lives, it was her decision to share her lives with scott that really solidified their alliance), and once by the hands of god. the universe wanted a perfect repeat performance of last life, a celebratory encore of the victory of someone who broke the rules and won despite it, and they did not get it. they did not get their perfect designed ending

instead, they got pearl.

pearl, like scott, does not play by the rules in last life. it's impossible for her to play by the rules, when her soulmate has scorned her so, but she takes it to new levels. She harms her soulmate, directly (ice bucket challenge, anyone?), and in the process also harms herself. she lives alone- scott, at least, has a chosen partner, and martyn spends considerable time trying to get cleo back, but pearl does no such thing. she builds herself an isolated tower and surrounds herself with her army of wolves

pearl's story in double life is, essentially, a story of lonliness (this is reflected in her motifs- lone wolf, wolves & the moon, etc). throughout the series, none of her alliances last long- hardly any make it longer than one episode. she truly is alone, her only constant fried throughout the series being tilly. tilly was there before she knew her soulmate was scott, and she was there after she was scorned. pearl relies on her dogs for protection- as minecraft dogs are very good at providing- but also, for what others refuse her: companionship.

like scott is a loyal victory in a game of traitors, pearl is a lonesome victor in a game of lovers. in the end, she stands alone- scorned and soulmate-less, the winner only because her opponent decided to loose. she, like scott, won a game designed against her. against the wishes of the univese, she stands alone

ANYWAYS tldr pearl and scott both broke the rules of their series and won bc of it, sorry no grian mention even tho i have thoughts about his 3l victory and treasure him dearly he just straight up isnt relevant to this one. might write more of these long ish analysis posts cause i had alot of fun with this one

#scott smajor #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #double life #double life scott #double life pearl #life series #trafficblr #double life analysis #long post #innsjotxt #im sure all this has kinda been said before but i wanted to write out my specific thoughts #also 'the universe' more or less equals 'the watchers' in this

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single-malt-scotch · 2 years ago

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im def the type analyzing the technical or trend side of mcyt content creation (someday i will make the bdubs thumbnail analysis) and whenever jev's content comes up i really think about it. (should be said what im describing w his videos rn isnt a jab! he talked about trying to make one-off videos hitting trendy subjects and thats exactly what hes doing, and so i want to mention what i notice)

jev stated in one of his previous HC videos that his videos were on a decline. he pointed out some things that i imagine casual watchers wouldnt ever consider, but theres some key reasons as to why jev's HC series was doing poorly. Some he points out and others are things I also realized.

people are not likely to click on videos with episode numbers because they don't want to jump into a series they know nothing about. in turn, many people have started to not put episode numbers in their series titles at all (out of HC, bdubs. but youll notice this for other kinds of non-smp videos too). So when this is done, people wont assume it is a long running series, and are more likely to click it. "One off" content implies videos that are... one-off. Think snapshot reviews, build challenges, hardcore challenges... So two potential ways to improve views/have a better time in the algorithm is to drop numbers of episodes. No, not The only solution but its a pretty important thing.

this is a huge factor imo... how many recommended/home page videos do you get thrown at you related to minecraft that have nothing to do with series (or you wouldnt know due to the title)? All I get are hardcore videos, snapshot videos, and i have also gotten loads of Joel's (smallishbeans) "i did [thing] in minecraft" which have a shit ton of views. Those videos from him are a blatant example of "one off" videos that also try to pull you in with a simple title and premise.

Now looking back at jev. he said he was going to try these more one off videos, and hes started that with things like "things you didnt know about minecraft". the interesting part to me too is noticing 'repeats' of these kinds of videos... jev is not the first person to do a video like that, so you would think "why would you make it?" well, the thing is. youtub doesnt care. its gonna throw your video around and there is a good chance your "things you didnt know about minecraft" video may come up for some random person instead of someone else. it may show up for some kid who hadnt seen someone else's and so yours is the first. (and lets be real if 11 year olds are finding it they probably wont care its another and think 'oh boy, more things i didnt know about minecraft!')

On the smaller side I just notice how different some parts of newer videos have become- for some reason its kind of a thing to use shaders, a lot. most people wont use it through an entire video but often times its the intro. some people use shaders all the time. Additionally intros almost always consist of a user in f5 mode, facing the camera. I am sure that f5 mode thing started quite a while back (in terms of new mcyt) but caring about the visuals of an intro wasn't important a long time ago, it was hardly considered lol.

every time i think about these things its like im storing it in my brain for me to use but, hell if i am ever gonna make enough videos to apply it. regardless, the trend of videos can be seen in youtubers you watch if you look close enough. but even so we have lots of 'old school' people here that don't always change to fit these trends. if they have a loyal long time following, its less likely they will. (usually if its not titles- which i think is more common now- you may more obviously see it in thumbnail styles) but theres always a potential of people shifting slightly because the algorithm isnt playing very nice.

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icarusys-the-collective · 1 month ago

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Hey everybody, Etho here! Welcome back to another episode of the Icarus collective

Lol what's up people this is my introduction

The Self

[ ☾ ] Names: Ethos

[𖤓] Nicknames:

[ ☾ ] Pronouns: He/they

[𖤓] Species: Kitsune

[ ☾ ] Height: 5'6

[𖤓] Age: 29-32

[ ☾ ] Gender: Male + Nonbinary

[𖤓] Partners:

[ ☾ ] MBTI personality: ISTJ

[𖤓] Favorite colour: Dusty lilac

[ ☾ ] Favorite food: Don't know

[𖤓] Source media (if applicable): Hermitcraft, Youtuber

[𖤓] Likes/interests/hobbies: Rambling, winter, minecraft, drawing, candles, tea, hot chocolate, big warm meals, fluffy hoods, foxes, wolves, music, snow, Rät by Penelope Scott is my most favourite song ever- I relate very heavily to this and I listen to it on repeat

[ ☾ ] Dislikes: Most political discourse, the body/face/hands, my face (I have dysmorphia), I have a phobia of bugs- I was playing modded once and found a giant ant burrow and I had a full-body reaction it was horrible lol I wanted to scream

[𖤓] Other notes: I make old references and jokes like the old man I am, I wear black a LOT (even though I don't really like black) just because it looks good on me, usually pair black with red or green and white.

Gloomy dark stuff is both unsettling to me and cool (ex. Bones), I've been here since winter 2020 but I'm very introverted and disappear a lot.

My playlist is entirely Penelope Scott, Melanie Martinez, and BoyWithUke, I'm atheist to an extent, I hate people who do the closed species art creature stuff (specifically closed species, every other species stuff is fine)

I don't really care about sexuality, I could be gay, straight, aromantic, asexual, pansexual, biromantic, I don't care, if I find I fall in love with someone then so be it but until then I really don't want to waste my time trying to figure out something that's kinda pointless to me as a person.

I am closest friends with Doc, Xisuma, Beef and Bdubs, I'm experimenting with art styles and I find art very interesting :)

Oh! Another note, I am a coder, even though I say self-employed... I prefer self-employed because I tend to just ditch one project for another one easily, but- point being- I don't have my coding skills here anymore but I still remember a few scattered pieces of coding information/knowledge

Topics of Discussion

[ ☾ ] Source family: N/A

[𖤓] Source relationships: 🟢

[ ☾ ] Genetics and biology: 🟢

[𖤓] Death/injury: 🟡

[ ☾ ] Gore: 🟡

[𖤓] Alter relationships: 🟢

Pictures

Not rn, another time maybe

#did alter #did system #dissociative identity disorder #alter introduction #did introduction #icarusys #fictive #mcyt fictive #hermitcraft fictive

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courageforbeginners · 1 year ago

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Questions 41-45

41. What movie did you love the original but hate the sequel?

Immediately the first film to come to mind is Disney's Tarzan and Tarzan 2. What an incredibly awful and forgettable movie with shitty animation.

42. Are you more talk and less action or vise versa?

Definitely more talk and less action. There are a billion things I said I would do/ would have done in my life by now, but I have yet to even begin. I say, "I'd like to..." too much, and never follow through with what I claim I want to do. I would like to improve upon this flaw, but I fear that I am just saying it and will not actually change.

43. Have you ever given someone a handmade present?

My boyfriend, Kyle, actually prefers I give him something handmade and from the heart on holidays and birthdays. I have since made him a "real" Minecraft Rose out of small craft blocks, a keepsake box painted with some of our favorite memories together, and a Wood sprite from Avatar painted on glass!

44. What type of person angers you the most?

Personally: Someone who makes me repeat myself or makes me feel like I have to nag them about something. If I need something done, some help would be nice instead of waiting around for me to tell you a billion times or wait for me to "make a list" for them.

Workwise: A person of higher power acting like a boss instead of a leader. I do not like working for someone who plays "Mr. Hotshot" and just sits above everyone telling them what to do. I get so angry when I see a lazy leader. Lead by example and show that you are part of this team that we all have to play on.

45. Could you live without electricity for a week?

I wouldn't love it but yes. I would spend a lot of my free time reading or playing board games in the candlelight. My job my not love it, as I wouldn't have an alarm to wake me. I wonder how anyone made it on time in the olden days? Wake with the sun, sleep when the suns gone? What about daylight savings time? Oh, also, would all my food be spoiled or in this situation, could I transport it so I wouldn't have to spend a fortune refilling my fridge and freezer?

#3000 questions #mine #writing

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monarchisms · 2 years ago

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i guess with even more horrendous shit from rt/ah coming to light with no signs of stopping, especially with this insightful thread from caleb, it just clicked to me how deep the whole "friendly ribbing and bullying" shit on camera was with the company, AH in particular, and how at its worst, it was just regular bullying with us as a general audience not knowing any better.

i've really only ever said in the past that the "bullying" AH did to matt made me mildly uncomfortable because i think he's a cool dude, and him getting dunked on could get old and sad if done excessively, and that's something i still believe. however, that turned out to not even the worst of it, upon some reflection i did over this weekend.

i learned of the existence of rt, and eventually became a big fan of AH, sometime in early 2014, so i must have been 13 years old at the time. yikes, i know lol. this was back when ray and kerry and caleb and such were in the gameplay videos more often at the time. i, the impressionable fucker i was, and lowkey still am, latched onto the... jokes? callbacks? bits??? whatever the hell they're called of caleb being the cheating screen-looker who is absolutely obsessed with frisbees and shit. i repeated back what i heard the guys said like a parrot to myself because they found it fun to do, so i eventually did, as well.

i find the jokes pretty funny on their own back then and now, but what i never acknowledged back then was how constant that all was, to a concerning degree, even to the point where caleb was getting harassed and was sent death threats from other "fans". fucking mind-boggling! i never went that far because i wasn't that fucking stupid, but i currently feel a bit of shame, for lack of a better word, because of how much that hurt someone i liked watching on screen.

it's the same deal with gavin. bird noises. british humor. jokes about his way of explaining smart ideas poorly. all of that. dude was constantly egged on for years. it's calmed down since then, but that, and the physical stuff (one i remember semi-clearly was geoff pushing gav in i think a minecraft let's play to prevent him from winning some competition in the game) was insane, looking back on it. but since i was just a kid, i just laughed along.

#stopthebullying, #startthebullying, the brazing of newer hires like joe, god knows how much “friendly” ribbing towards kerry and jack. god, i’m not a fan of watching much older rt/ah videos because i’m guaranteed to hear a slur of two, but the comments from other fans who have been here longer than me about how jack got shit on in early AH stuff and the rt podcast/drunk tank episodes he appeared in can be its own separate fucking post, the poor guy.

i don’t know how to end this post, really. most of it was written at 4 am, and it shows. my brain has been a mess this past weekend, and so has rt since its inception. bye.

#''bye'' i say as if i won't be right back on this site in five minutes #i think i can maintag this #rooster teeth #roosterteeth #achievement hunter #rt wank #that's it. that's all the tags i got #shit i forgot one #long post

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ghostsknewmynights · 3 years ago

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DSMP Superpower ideas, Part 1 (Bench Trio)

I’ve been reading a lot of vigilante Tommy fics lately, and I see a lot of repeated powers (I.e, Siren’s song, Teleportatation, Etc), and I’ve come up with a few superpowers that could fit the characters, so here they are.

This is basically just a bunch of powers that give Bench trio (excluding Tommy ig, so really just Beeduo) trauma, to be honest. Not that Ranboo can remember his. (Feel free to use them, if you want. Just credit me.)

Tommy

Jukebox

Tommy can make a song play from him. There’s no visual cue for when he’s using his powers, but the songs get louder the closer you get to him. It’s useful as a distraction, a way to confuse opponents, and the the songs he plays all do different things to anyone who hears them.

I would recommend only using the Minecraft music discs for this, because using real songs in fics usually isn’t a good idea, and it’s easier to know which is playing.

(You can change all of the effects, btw. This is just the vibe I get from each one.)

Cat can essentially boost the energy and mood of those who hear it, however once the song is coming to an end at the slower part, their energy will slowly begin to dip and leave them far tireder than before.

Blocks makes people tireder, for some reason, sometimes even to the point that they’ll just collapse. The latter only happens if they were already tired before hearing the song. Some people even say that they saw memories or visions in their dreams, but there is no solid evidence to support that.

Far can either trigger an out of body experience, or for a person to go into a tranquil state. Tommy can’t control which, so using around Tubbo and Ranboo is a gamble.

Strad can trigger auditory hallucinations. It’s usually tapping, whispering, voices, footsteps, etc. Tommy doesn’t use it much, because it also effects him.

Mellohi does…something. Nobody can quite pinpoint what, but it does have an effect. Some say that it can trigger a kind of confidence that they haven’t felt before, but it comes at the cost of having much darker thoughts. Those people compare the experience to being ‘turned into villains.’

Ward can distort a person’s thoughts in certain ways. It’s usually as if they’re scattered, like you can’t form a full sentence in your mind without some effort. It also takes a toll on motor skills, for some reason.

Chirp can trigger a feeling of paranoia and unease, and possible delusions, that only intensifies with the volume. Most people say that it feels as if they’re walking alone on a dark street, and they feel like someone’s following them.

Stal can trigger a feeling of boredom and/or irritation, as of you’ve been sitting in a waiting room for a couple of hours. It can make people fidgety, easily annoyed, and feel generally bored.

Mall triggers a tranquil state for both the body and mind. It makes both relax, and is useful for calming down, falling asleep, and/or mediating.

Wait can make a person lightheaded, and feel ‘floaty’. Have you ever had that feeling where, maybe after running or walking for awhile, your legs just feel all weird and kind of disconnected? If you have, It’s basically like that. If you haven’t, think of it as pins and needles, but fading in and out.

I don’t really have anything for Pigstep right now, so I’ll leave it at this.

Tubbo

Soul fire

Remember that one time, I think it was in a hardcore world stream, where Tubbo mentioned throwing nether stars into soul fire to revive a player? Well, I do, and it’s led to this.

Tubbo can generate a Turquoise-Cyan coloured fire that he can control. He can make it hotter than normal fire, or colder than ice. Either way, it still causes burns.

When certain things are thrown into the fire, they may not burn, and instead come out with enchantments. Either that or they’ll come out looking unrecognisably charred.

The reason it’s called soul fire, is because anyone who gets burned by it will have a permanent burn scar that never truly stops hurting. Tubbo tries to never use his powers because he had an accident when he was younger, maybe when his powers first manifested, and he burned half of his face. The scar is permanent, and there’s a dull pain 24/7. He doesn’t want to make anyone else suffer from the same thing.

(But Tommy once coerced him into creating some, and he stuck his hand in to see if it was cold (because, Y’know, Blue), so now he lives with a permanently burnt and hurt hand. He says he doesn’t mind it, but he also doesn’t use his left hand for anything and winces when he does. He tells people he won a fight to get the scar. Which he technically did, because he had to argue with Tubbo for awhile, both before and after the incident.)

Ranboo

Silk Touch

This one seems like an obvious one, because it’s a canon part of Ranboo’s character on the SMP, but I rarely see it used.

This power isn’t the usual silk touch. Instead of just magically preserving an object, it’s a kind of Temporal rewind. The user can rewind anything they touch/break into a previous state, like turning broken glass back into a full glass pane.

I think that this would be an extremely useful power, because maybe Ranboo could simply rewind anything that’s broken. For example, a weapon that broke in battle, or his vigilante mask if it got torn. There are still limits, obviously, like size and what the object is made of (he can’t rewind things like water, because it’s not solid and there’s nothing the really rewind it to. He can, however, turn ice to water, but only like, two ice cubes.)

The drawback is that his hands may begin to burn, or he’ll feel the pain of the restored item (Like, the stab of a knife if he rewound one, or a shard of glass being wedged in his hand if he rewound some).

If you wanted to dig deeper into more serious backstory, then maybe this could kind of tie in with the theory that Ranboo is the other time traveler. Maybe Silk touch was far more powerful in the past, like it was called Backtrack or reverse, and he could rewind people and himself back in time, and maybe he even got to adulthood then.

But then he accidentally rewinds himself into the past, he loses a large chunk of memory, which included the memories of his previous abilities and life, and he’s back to being a 13 year old. He then goes on to meet Tommy and Tubbo, eventually renames his power, and things proceed into the story.

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ruby-whistler · 4 years ago

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i made a list of the vibes of the hermits i watch, so you might want to check some of them out! this is just mostly jokes, but i thought all of the more “serious” propaganda was missing something, so have what truly makes hermitcraft worth it; the players’ unique styles!

will be back on my dsmp stuff asap but it’s the first day of season 8 and i would really appreciate if you checked them out through the links provided :]

Grian; [ episode one link ]

vibes of a 17 year old mcyter, is actually 27 and married

noo not my red jumpah!

chaotic capitalist

someone is making the server better through order? *starts another war* whoops, hand slipped :D

he built a- he rebuilt his entire megabase in survival, above a giant lake of lava, in the nether, on hard mode, upside down??

“watching as scar dies over and over in my trap is peak comedy and i’m tired of pretending it’s not” but it happens like 5 times i every season

video editing is very main-stream and good for short attention spans!

*sad montage over losing stuff he’ll get back in 15 minutes because he’s rich*

pesky birdd! great elytra flier! amazing builder! will tnt your house! poultrymannn!!

wholesome, chaos incarnate, talented architect

why won’t mumbo respond to my messages it’s been two weeks :[ (clingy)

doors???????????? your house has doors???? no doors for you good sir!

will laugh a lot at a lot of things, esp when he’s with his friends

genuinely just so fun to watch

Mumbo Jumbo; [ episode one link ]

perfect british accent

mustache man (warning: he has no mustache irl)

*fails ten businesses in a row* iskall please help

redstone is his element

“it’s actually quite simple” i like your funny words magic man, now can you repeat how in the hell you made a that fancy vault work-

filmographer?? i think? met up with grian irl

him and grian have a robot son named grumbot. that has nothing to do with the vibes but i had to mention him because he means a lot to me.

tries to stay out of wars and server politics until someone (grian) drags him into them

minigame maker, makes the hermits competitive and that is scary (also very funny) e. g. button, hermit challengesss!

“it’ll be fineee” *que shot of everything on fire behind him*

makes his base a living being and then all his neighbors end up feeding it instead of him

conspiracy theorist. bumbo baggins. the usual.

very entertaining videos that help you learn more about minecraft mechanics!

GoodTimesWithScar; [ episode one link ]

wheelchair creator with literally the best vibes

so wholesome i. he is so cool he makes me so happy :’D

*extremely cool announcer voice* ooooo hello there my fellow miners and crafters, good timeees with scar heree, and welcome backk to the wonderful world of hermits and crafting, and we’re flying over-

commentates everything extremely well

spends tenths of hours on builds within a single video and doesn’t bat an eye

lore for all of his builds! he builds these amazing bases to tell a story!

“i wanna see white flags! white flags, outside your base, by-“ wait no wrong anti-rebellion army leader

all videos have a clear objective

mostly building, but he loves hanging out/helping his friends!

loves disney movies! wants to go to space! :D

kind-hearted, always makes everyone else smile

can be chaotic but usually just tries to have fun and make sure everyone else has fun too

*flies into a tree on half a heart* wait what why did i die D:

scar. scar please eat. you’re going to die for the tenth time this video-

the non-chaotic capitalist, has extremely creative shop designs

a danger to himself, but also the kind of person you can’t be angry at for long

BdoubleO100; [ episode one link ]

the guitar music at the beginning of his videos brings a smile to my face, it just has such an immaculate mood

*camera pans over him as said music plays* ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of hoimycraffff

the way he talks is extremely endearing

one of the best builders on the server - probably best builder of interiors in existence

able to make a palette using any number of strange blocks and then make amazing builds using it

built a whole castle as a backdrop, then built an entire giant mountain for said castle

extremely sensitive to short jokes, usually gets pranked by others because his reactions are always so funny

his daughters show up from time to time in his room while he’s recording and it’s so cute

*has no way to see the sun but still knows it’s nighttime* gotta go schleep!

scar, pointing at him “this is why we can’t have nice sunsets”

(scar dies because of mobs every time bdubs isn’t on the server to sleep)

likes to be accomplice because he isn’t the one being made fun of (/lh)

*shoots himself in front of a confused grian because he thinks the guy wants his face again when he’s actually just looking for a netherportal*

is usually the underdog so it feels good when he wins

they’re all actually such great friends so it’s genuinely funny to watch

he himself is amazing at entertainment and just a very cool guy

ImpulseSV; [ episode one link ]

what’s going on everyone, my name is impulse and welcome back to hermitcraft!

always speaks with a smile in his voice

has a good dynamic with basically everyone

great co-worker and always helps out if he can

had his base turned pink during the swap, and instead of changing it back afterwards, he dyed his skin’s hair and clothing pink to match it

very cool and original building style!

makes a lot of farms and sells what he gets in his few shops

makes money to be able to do more stuff and make more farms

blows up most his base ever so often to rebuild parts. you know, like a normal person does in minecraft survival.

the grind is never over

the guy who always gets all of the work done on the school project and proceeds to be chill about it

always has very cool side-projects going on and puts his heart into all of them

pog timelapses!!

Rendog; [ episode one link ]

*short, funny scene from the video at the beginning slowly fades out into great music

dogs howling as the half-dog half-cog logo comes up*

greetiiings cyberdogs and citizens of the interbubs! this is ren diggity dawg coming atcha, in another minecraft episodes varuuummm the hermit. craft. server. (hey!)

we’re kicking things off today my friends, from the- *location name on screen*

that intro gets me hyped every time

he’s a furry who talks in bro language it’s great i swear - very atypical but fun

he transformed an entire biome into a star wars planet for his base

his building skills and dedication are incredible

horny (just a little bit)

the only person who cared about mycelium in the whole rebellion

does a lot of roleplay-themed stuff and mysteries to be solved

“b-dubba-dubs one hundred”

extremely upbeat & sweet guy

adds -age after everything “biddage” “flyage” to make it sound Cooler

amazingly positive always and funny as hell

mcc winner!! wooooooooo :D

always tries to be where stuff is happening and interact with people

very entertaining editing style

Iskall85; [ episode one link ]

drives joke into the mud and then picks them up and does it again which is funny

starts videos with one-off bits

iskallman!!! the superhero literally no one needed and yet there he is

only has one (1) braincell when with mumbo

they both do and they’re hilarious together every time

like when they laughed at squeaky noises for ten minutes straight. guys please you’re adult men

bernie the leaf master

omega (something) of doom!!

encourages gambling (in a videogame)

he has so many jokes he keeps using i can’t possibly fit them all in here

basically a wildcard

i have no idea what he’s doing this season

i have no idea what he’s doing ever actually

tame chaos, confusing to the point when it’s funny again

really great builder as well!

mostly for younger audiences but his videos are a good watch in general

feel free to send asks about hc! i’m already loosely involved in hermitblr but yeah, my dsmp followers aren’t immune :] /lh /j

#long post #hermitcraft #hermitcraft s8 #hermitblr #ruby's rambles #:]#all my personal opinions #just wanted to add to the hype lol

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tenyacore · 4 years ago

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sweet summer days

-> husband!iida tenya x gn!reader

read before continuing!!: although reader is labeled as gender neutral, the kids sharing both your features and tenya’s implies female anatomy or the ability to bear a child. this can be twisted to be gender neutral friendly though, like a relative of yours being a surrogate. you have tohru (7), toshiro (6), and tomoe (5).

ack this isnt as good as i wanted it to be ㅠㅅㅠ it just sounded so much better in my head aaaaa. i just wanted sweet n soft cuteness. i also fell in love with the children omg i want. kids. now ...

warnings: none.

word count: 1.4k words

check out my masterlist for more of my works!!

laughter and the sound of tiny feet running across the hardwood floor filled your spacious home. what was meant to be a lazy day off for your husband has turned into a chaotic day of cheeky grins, sticky fingers, and rough splashes of pool water. your husband tenya, however, couldn’t be any more happier than he is right now.

the clinking of ice cubes against glass and the mattress dipping underneath you gently woke you up. you look up to see tenya opening a new book he bought recently, quickly becoming submerged in it’s contents. groaning ever so softly, you contemplated whether you should wake up or stay in your comfortable position. unfortunately you didn’t have much of a chance to decide, as your youngest, tomoe, woke you up with a soft grunt, kicking her feet in the air as she desperately tried making her way up onto your bed.

“tomoe? what are you doing up so early?” your husband asks, reaching over you to pick up the girl with ease. tomoe was the sleepiest of your three children; she was shy, silent, and soft in nature, much different than her two older siblings. it was rare to see her this active in the mornings, much less awake, as she had a tendency to nap whenever she saw the chance to.

“tohru and toshiro are fighting again” she whines, a lazy hand reaching up to rub her eye as you sit up, patting down the stray hairs sticking up from her head. she had shoulder length blue hair, with your eyes and smile, along with tenya’s quirk. he swore up and down that he’d train her the best he could so she could continue his legacy. while he promised he had no favorites, you could tell tenya was excited to have tomoe as his successor.

“ahh,” tenya shakes his head “those two tend to bicker quite a lot. did they wake you?” your daughter only responded with a soft nod, already falling back asleep, soothed by her father’s embrace and your gentle hand stroking her head. “i guess i’ll have to scold them a bit for making a commotion, then” tomoe let out a soft ‘mhm’ in agreement, her head finally resting against tenya’s chest as he stood whilst carrying her in his arms.

ever since graduating, becoming an adult, and starting a family with you, tenya’s become a much calmer man. it was a bit hard at first, but after learning from you and tohru that his stiffness and sudden movements aren’t exactly the most relaxing, he tried to become more loose. despite this, he’s still the awkward, nerdy, and strict boy you fell in love with at heart.

“you’re so mean tohru!” your son toshiro’s voice could be heard loudly as soon as you opened the door of your room. your two other kids were in the living room, minecraft sounds playing loudly over their argument.

“i'm not being mean, i'm being fair toshiro! papa made times for us to be on the game so we wouldn’t get into fights!” you sighed, thinking to yourself ‘so much for that schedule tenya put all that effort into’. “you shouldn’t have started a game when you knew your time was almost up!” tohru continued to holler at toshiro, who looked like he was about to cry.

tohru took mostly after tenya, his strict way of being mixing with your louder, more carefree side. she was a stickler for rules but enjoyed picking on her brother and had a tendency to be loud and over-the-top. she had your hair color but tenya’s sharp eyes. she had long hair and lighter skin than the other two from staying inside and reading more than being outside.

“tohru, sometimes, we can just choose to be nice. when you’re nice, most of the time your kindness will be returned. either way, seeing your kindness make someone happy will always be the best part of being nice. if you see that your brother is having a fun time, why don't you let him keep playing?” you take your eldest into your arms, pulling her close to you as you sat down. you weren’t afraid to talk to her about more complex/harder to grasp topics as she was extremely intelligent like her father.

“i guess you’re right…” she hung her head and sighed.

“yeah, tohru!” toshiro angrily huffed, chopping her head tenya style. tomoe continued to sleep as her siblings ran after each other around the house, chaos ensuing wherever they went.

“dad!” toshiro climbed tenya’s back and flashed you a toothy smile. toshiro was the most hyper out of the three, but also a complete cry baby. he was a proud older brother to tomoe yet relied on tohru to protect him, and was an all around happy, cute kid. he had short messy hair that was the same color as yours, with a single streak of blue. he was generally the most balanced combination of you and tenya and had much darker skin than the others, constantly playing around in the sun with todoroki’s kid.

he continued to poke his fathers cheek as he spoke “can we get in the pool today? can we? can we?” he repeated, only stopping and climbing down when your husband caved and said yes to toshi’s whining. “dad! (mom/dad/parent)! you should come in too!” was the last thing the little boy said before disappearing to quickly change and get his towel, which tohru did as well.

“what do you say? wanna go into the pool?” you asked tenya, getting up to change before toshi started whining again. tenya shook his head softly.

“i'm going to cut up some watermelon for the kids and then sit by the pool. i’d rather read for today.” he contentedly sighs as he moves toward the kitchen island, pulling out a watermelon from god knows where and starting to cut it. allowing him to enjoy his day however he’d like to, you went on ahead without him.

“how are you not burning up, ten?” you asked once he joined you all outside, just the mere sight of him in the blazing sun making you sweat. he just smiled and shrugged, continuing his book with the sounds of his children playing together in the background. you held tomoe cautiously as she half heartedly splashed the other kids. honestly, how she came out with a personality more like todoroki’s is beyond both you and tenya, though todoroki jokes that tomoe is really just his child that you guys stole from him.

the first to leave the pool was tohru, then curious toshi, and then you after tomoe whined that she wanted to go with the other two. they all went back inside, towels covering them before pouncing on the plate of watermelon like it was the last in the world. luckily tenya preplanned and saved a couple small slices for the two of you, otherwise you would’ve missed out.

laying next to your husband on the beach chair, he let out a soft groan when your cold, wet hair and hands met his warm skin. “did you not bring out a towel? you’re really cold, love.” you let out a whine which tenya knew meant ‘no and i regret not bringing one’. he adjusted himself to put his arm around you, in attempts to warm you up.

it wasn't long before the sound of children running came close, tohru chasing toshiro angrily and tomoe slowly trailing behind them. you chuckled as tomoe climbed onto you and tenya, a watermelon seed stuck to her cheek and another in her hair. as you removed the seeds, tohru and toshiro kept running after one another.

“toshiro you took the last piece of watermelon so don’t cry when you get what you deserve!” she shrieked, and you decided you probably should no longer let her go over to bakugo’s house, because as much as his youngest boy liked to read with tohru, the rest of his kids took after him, which was probably where she learned her more aggressive behaviors.

holding tomoe in your arms, your children became background noise that lulled you to sleep. the last words you heard were “papa can we go to sanrio puroland tomorrow!?” from tohru. with tenya being puddy at the hands of his children, it was safe to say the summer fun wasn’t done just yet.

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amazingphilza · 4 years ago

Text

study buddies :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some headcanons if the mcyts were trying to help you do hw :D

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

tommyinnit

i feel like he’s the type to be in a long discord call with you whilst you both try to finish your work

mans uses the screensharing feature like there’s no tomorrow

“y/n watch my stream on discord and help me guess the answers”

“tommy no! i haven’t even taken a film class before”

“your guess is good as mine”

“just cheat and google the answers!!!”

“fuck you”

he actually just wants your attention because he’s bored out of his mind doing homework

five minutes later of asking you to help him guess questions he’s like

“hey y/n”

“what now?”

“let’s play bedwars”

“oh my god shut up!!!”

if tommy has to speedrun something before a deadline, it is a whole different story tho; he will be so focused on completing that he won’t hear what you’re saying

if you’re struggling in math, you’re on your own

“math is shit, only numbers i need is my primes and youtube analytics” says tommy any time you complain about math

besides the fact he isn’t good at solving math problems, you can’t even read his handwriting if he did try showing you how to do a problem

“okay, y/n, it’s simple, just look” he says in his kareninnit voice and everything

you’d be like “is the variable a G or a 9??”

“fuck you that’s a 4!!!”

tubbo

i don’t know if tubbo ever talked about school before but something about him makes me think he’s actually pretty good at math

like he can explain a few things when it comes to math / algebra

CODING GO BRRRR

no geometry or calculus though, anything past algebra will go bad

if tubbo is doing homework with you, he will definitely tune you out

“hey tubbo can you help me on this question?”

you don’t get a response until like 20 minutes later

“oh yeah, what was it y/n?”

like now you answer? i just got the answer myself after so long, forget you smh

“oh nothing tubbo, nevermind!”

but you’re still grumbling in your head because if he answered just a bit earlier you wouldn’t have gone through the work of finding the answer online

i can also imagine if you’re taking chemistry tubbo is like ;

“oh you’re taking chemistry? let’s make some bombs!” /lh

tubbo would definitely pull an all-nighter with you to finish your projects together

if you had a group project, he would make you do the writing part while he does the drawing part

“we definitely aced this project”

“of course we did, if i made you draw we would’ve ended up with stick figure diagrams”

“TUBBO. THE FUCK?”

ranboo

okay i know ranboo said he isn’t a theatre or band kid (unless im wrong and forgetful) but i feel like he’d be somewhat educated in the topics nonetheless

half the time he’s great moral support, helping you stay motivated !

the other half is him making fun of you

“i cant believe you’re failing, that is so sad, can’t be me”

“it’s literally an honors class, ranboo! it’s supposed to be hard!!”

“taking an honors class willingly? also cant be me AHAHA”

i honestly can’t see ranboo going to school like i know he’s a minor and said he had zoom calls before and plays volleyball but like did i miss something? has he dropped out yet? like something about ranboo does not scream “student” /lh

besides that, i’m not sure what subject he would actually be good in,,, but something about nutrition/health sciences,, he knows a few things

don’t get me wrong, i don’t think he actually likes the subject but somehow remembers what he learned from the class

also gives me the type of energy of the type of person to take a first aid class to be a certified person to do cpr on someone just to kill time during his lunch breaks for a while or something

“i am a certified cpr person”

“my life in ranboo’s hands? oh god please no”

you two would probably joke about the ‘bad’ people in your classes or talk shit about your schools than actually doing anything homework related ngl AHAHAH

“you think your school is down bad? mine went back to campus full time after like 6 months into quarantine because they were running out of money”

“what the hell y/n? your school is a scam, drop out”

“arghhhh i knowww”

“i bet i make more money than your teachers combined AHAHAH”

wilbur soot

he doesn’t seem like the best person to ask for help for homework but can info dump you on very specific historical events + a bit of geography

i kinda see him as the person you can ask to proof read an essay for you and would help it improve immensely

who needs a thesaurus when you have vocabulary boy wilbur?

i dunno if it’s an american thing only or at all, but if/when you get to studying hamilton in your english class, he will get so fucking excited

“no wilbur it isn’t fun! imagine listening to lin-manuel miranda rap ‘alexander hamilton’ at the white house from like 2009 on repeat for over an hour whilst trying to write an analysis about it!! it was so distracting”

“well clearly someone has a personal problem with mr lin-manuel. if i were you, i’d be singing the whole thing”

is this last bit personal and complete spite from my freshman year english class? yes. i do not care? no. /hj

unrelated but i actually scribbled nice guy ballad lyrics and other songs on my english scratch papers in freshman year but anyway

probably isn’t the best person to be in a call to do homework with but wilbur doesn’t mind you ringing him occasionally sometimes

i dunno i can just see him easily get bored of the silence or something but also doesn’t want to bother you too much

but he is genuinely proud of you whenever you tell him you aced a big test you were studying for :D

philza

this man’s bad advice is as bad as him trying to help you on any subject

he’s an old man so /hj

but like honestly, he hasn’t been at school for so long, phil can probably only help with the most basic things when it comes to school

if you have a wack teacher that makes you collect data through surveying people, phil would be one of the best people to ask! straightforward and won’t take too much of your time compared to other people ahem,,

statistics things ! sobs

if you ever complain a lot about your classes and contemplating dropping out and stuff, he will def scold you hard

“ugh phillllllllll can i just like,, never go to school again?”

“do not drop out”

“argh fine, i won’t just ‘cause philza minecraft said so”

honestly if you get a high score in a big test like your sats/gcse’s (whatever you’re taking from wherever you are) he’d probably order you a small meal or something to celebrate :D

like how phil bought ranboo bought him food to his house, it would start as a joke but when you get your test scores back he’s like “YOOO GOOD JOB Y/N”

expect a left meat pizza coming to your house .

technoblade

like wilbur, techno is also helpful when it comes to history!

def knows a decent bit of literature too

besides that i don’t really see him being that helpful

even if he was supposed to be an english major

he will just get mad at the school system for teaching you useless things

“being in school is good but why do you need to know how to know if something is a triangle or not? i can obviously see with my eyes that it’s a triangle”

“i dunno! ask the person that made up geometry”

“just look at a kaleidoscope and be over with it, it isn’t that hard”

“that isn’t how it works—”

“bruhhh”

if you’re looking for the person to call while doing homework, he is not the person /lh

it’s either like 0 or 100 with techno

he can just completely not say anything and ignore you or go on a full rant about whatever class or homework you have

if you have an essay you need written, it will take a lot of bribing but he might take the opportunity if you are rich

“techno i’ll paypal you $10 please help me”

“no. i can make 10 times that amount in 5 minutes if i just started streaming right now”

“techno i don’t have that kind of money! pleaseee”

“no. instead of complaining, you can use that time to actually start you work”

“you’re the worst”

then you speedrun the essay and get an A just to spite him

#dream smp imagines #dream smp x reader #dream smp x y/n #dream smp headcanons #sbi imagine #sbi x reader #sbi headcanons #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x you #mcyt headcanons

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seyenna · 4 years ago

Text

Philza and/or Techno and/or Ranboo fic recs

just some of my fav dsmp fics, mainly phil, techno or ranboo bc i’m biased but also a bunch of sbi and others

this one goes out mainly to zablr discord my beloved

pls tell me if the links don’t work

all of these are on ao3

rating\status(complete/ongoing)\warnings\word count\misc tags

ichor flows free amongst the iron by summer_rising

T\o\violence\13k\series\gods AU

Summary:

A gods and goddesses AU of the Dream SMP, dramatized for all our benefits.

First work:

"Two gods meeting on a mountaintop overlooking the stormy sea? Very classy, Dream, I appreciate your taste."

Dream didn't turn to look at him, but the faint shake of his shoulders let Techno know he had heard.

"Scar's healing up nicely, I see," Techno mumbled with a light nod of his head.

"Mhm. Cut nice and clean. Not that I expected any less from you, of course."

The god of power and the god of luck meet on a mountaintop to discuss Luck's standing in the ongoing political disaster.

We're Only Young by ImperialKatwala

G\o\-\66k\series\Dream & Technoblade

It's easy to forget amid the chaos and bloodshed how similar - and how young - Dream and Technoblade really are.

And when the sun comes up, you'll find a brand new god. by SkyboxZoo

M\o\violence\19k\gods AU

Summary:

The wounds from the fight had healed nigh instantly, but the golden blood still soaked Techno’s shirt. His cloak had gotten torn off and his hair had fallen out of its pony-tail. Ichor pooled in his boots. The man left a trail of golden, bloody footprints in his wake.

old gods (new gods) by WriterWinged

T\o\-\9k\series\gods AU

Summary of first work:

Survival, Blood, Madness. Philza, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot. Three gods who have never cared for mortal life, who play with them when they want to, who kill their toys just as easily. How, then, did a mortal end up in their hands?

This House Is A Fucking Nightmare by SilverWing15

T\c\-\17k\series\sbi

Summary:

AU Where Phil isn't quite as willing to stand by while his sons drop like flies

Summary of third part (my fav):

Does lingering too long in the shadow of a god make you a god? The voices in his head seem to think so.

His brothers know he's older than them but they don't know how much

OR: Technoblade doesn't think his brothers realize how different they are from ordinary men. After all, ordinary men may fight the gods, but they don't win.

It's been a long day. by BecausePlot

G\c\-\3k\Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

Sides are bad: he knows that much. He’s seen it tear people apart time and time again, so when he decided to separate himself from Tubbo and keep his distance, he knew he was in the right.

Well. He thought he was in the right, at the time. Sitting all by himself on the steps to the Prime Path, he’s not so sure anymore.

Yes, the sides might have torn the others apart, might have made them so weak that they have no choice but to fold under Dream’s hand, but at least they aren’t lonely.

So are sides bad?

‘I don’t know.’

~*~

Or, Ranboo looks out at the ruins of L'Manburg, feeling more lost and lonely than he ever has.

But, as he soon finds, he's not as alone as he thinks.

the voices in my head, they say a lot of things by rosyasteria

-\c\violence\1k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

Some days the voices didn’t listen. They didn’t let up. They screamed instead of whispered, relentless, assaulting his ears until they bled.

tell them i was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold by rosyasteria

-\c\-\2k\Techonblade-centric

Summary:

Technoblade cared. But in the end it just fucked him over.

For the majority of his life, Techno felt like less of a companion, less of a family member, and more like a weapon to be wielded. 'The Blade' they called him; never 'friend'.

It Leaves Little Time for Anything Else by mirandible

M\c\-\1k\part of series\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

A young man aims for the top, but fate has other plans for him. So does Technoblade, apparently.

(Or: answering the question of “Why does Techno hide his scars if they’re supposed to be some sort of trophy? Why keep your point of pride a secret?”)

the best requiem is a bar of silence (and I'll sing it, even if I must hold back my tears) by jello12451

T\o\-\10k\Philza & Technoblade

Summary:

He can’t help the noise of celebration that escapes him. Techno- this means that Techno’s free, and he got his horse back, and everything is alright-

Tubbo, filled with rage at Phil’s cheers, turns and impulsively shoots an arrow.

He doesn’t expect to hit his target.

---

Alternatively: What if Phil didn't have a bucket of water when Tubbo shot him?

Change fate by being aggressively kind by sircantus

T\o\-\13k\sbi, Philza-centric

Summary:

“You do understand that you’re caring for the thing meant to bring destruction and chaos to our world, right?” The woman asks, Phil looking behind him fondly as Techno grabs at the ends of his wings.

“He’s just a child.” Phil answers distractedly, humming as his wings get gently yanked at.

“He’s the first of three to destroy life as we know it! Shouldn’t we, well, get rid of him?!”

“Oh, no.” Phil raises his eyes with a sharp glare. “Believe me, I have my own way of preventing the apocalypse.”

---

Or, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are basically chaotic forces of nature, destined from birth to end the world and bring destruction. Most who hear of the tale of them are trying their best to track them down, and to end the monsters while they’re still young, still just children.

Phil has a different plan.

(In which Phil raises the minecraft equivalents of the anti-christ with love and support, so much so to the point where the world ending is really just a funny thought, and Phil has three kids who casually have powers that are bit more extreme than anything else in the world)

I promised you that everything would be fine by findingkairos

G\c\-\6k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

manifestation: (n.)

1. an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something abstract or theoretical;

2. a version or incarnation of something or someone;

3. an appearance of a ghost or spirit;

4. the Blood God.

When he's young and still alone, still establishing his reputation as the immortal warrior, Technoblade makes up an imaginary friend.

Years later, the blood god is very real and very much a god: one that is prepared to do anything for their first and only friend.

the inner mechanism of a black box by Bee_4

T\c\violence, self-harm\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

Technoblade lets himself get imprisoned for Philza’s sake. He doesn’t plan on being there long. Unfortunately, he’s underestimated Pandora’s Vault.

There are things that will make even the Blade fall apart in due time, as it turns out.

carry all my sins by BananasofThorns

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo-centric

Summary:

Ranboo swallows. “All my armor and weapons and stuff are missing. Fundy and I were gonna go looking for them after the festival, I think.”

“I see.” Tubbo smiles again, but this time it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s just a festival. We could probably find someone to lend you a sword or an axe or something.”

He starts towards the stage, waving at people when they call his name, and Ranboo follows. The original panic has dulled to a cold buzz in his chest, but apprehension still wraps itself around his body like chains. He doesn’t like being without his armor and tools; he feels too exposed, and if something happens, he’ll be helpless.

“Ranboo?” Tubbo calls, glancing back.

Ranboo shakes his head and hurries to catch up. “Yeah, it’ll be fine,” he repeats. “Everything’s gonna be fine."

Tubbo grins. “That’s the spirit.”

Rule 5: be loyal. L'manberg doesn't do well with supposed traitors. Ranboo deals with the consequences.

Sojourn by Lacy_Star

T\o\-\13k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

“Well…” Ranboo started slowly, “You see, uh… I kinda… don’t have a house anymore, obviously. Um… Phil found me in—“ He paused, cutting himself off and squinting at the floorboards— very discreet, “Phil… found me. And… um… He said I could stay by you guys. Like, um, by the dog house he wants to build?” He paused, then began to ramble, “But, uh, if you don’t want me here, I understand— and I’m sorry for coming in your house when you weren’t here, I swear I didn’t touch anything— it was just cold outside and—“

Techno just stared at him. And how, how was this the second time this had happened to him? How was this the second time he returned home after battle to discover an injured teenage boy waiting for him, seeking assistance with nowhere to go? And how badly had that ended last time, in nothing but betrayal and insults?

---

AKA: Phil drags a half-enderman home after Doomsday, and Techno decides that they can keep it. For now.

can an axe count as rent? by aboutfivebees

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

Ranboo’s struggling to settle into his new life on the Arctic Anarchist Commune, but at least he’s got bread.

or the struggles of an enderman hybrid to come up with a housewarming gift to give to his friends, who are just trying to adopt him

The Caged Bird Sings of Freedom by StarPrince_Punk

T\o\-\25k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

The Blade's stance was still tense, his body prepared to fight at a moment’s notice if need be. “What’s your name?” Phil asked “My… name?” The Blade asked. “Yeah. Your name isn’t actually The Blade, right? That’s like a stage name?” Phil tried to keep his tone light. “What’s your real name?” The Blade hesitated. “No one… No one’s called me by my name in a long time.” ------- When Phil comes across Ranboo in his panic room after L'Manberg's destruction, it reminds him of when he first met Technoblade. And just like when he met Techno, Phil's first instinct is that he has to help this kid. While living together, Techno and Ranboo learn that they're much more similar than they had previously thought, and Phil learns that it's not too late for him to be a better dad.

This already feels like more of a home by H3118ENDER

T\o\violence, death\18k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

As the ashes of L'Manberg settle the conflict continues to come to life setting the stage for a new wave of blood shed. Stuck slam in the middle of past and present friends Ranboo is coming to learn that even without nations to their names feelings and feuds don't die but people, people do.

A Shadow of a Shadow by unappetizingegg

T\c\-\4k\ Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

There were a few beats of silence, and then- “What are your plans, now? Do you need a place to stay?”

That caught him off guard. Surely he’d heard incorrectly. Phil was offering him a home, right after he’d orchestrated the destruction of his past one? It didn’t make any sense, none of it did. Why would Phil say that?

Then he remembered, he remembered Techno stopping him in the fight. He remembered being handed his book, the question in Techno’s gaze. He swore, in that moment, Technoblade, the Technoblade, had been worried about him. He remembered that he had been told to leave, to run, to get away and preserve himself. He had spared him, he remembered that Techno had spared him.

Techno had helped him. Phil had tried to protect him, to get him away from the danger.

They were there for him.

---

alternatively:

Ranboo is alone. But he really isn't.

Meritocracy by oddsbodkins

G\o\-\18k\Dream & Technoblade, sbi, medieval AU

Summary:

Dream is more successful than he'd ever imagined - but there's one thing that's been bothering him. Technoblade, his biggest rival, the Acolyte of the Blood God and King of the Arena, went missing last spring, just before Dream got the chance to duel him. Without that one achievement to pave his way, all the following victories have felt cheap.

So, Dream hired some goons to dig Technoblade up and pester him into coming back to the Capitol, for one last showdown. Easy enough, right?

Interlude I: "Promises to Keep" by Ozzyyy

T\c\-\1k\part of a series\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

These woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep

And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep.

Techno has a plan. It's crazy. It's insane, it's actually just batshit bonkers. But if chaos cannot be enjoyed together, then what's it worth, yeah? There's a certain beauty in watching the world burn from the center of the flames. Phil intends to be there.

I Don't Want To Start A Fight (wouldn't you rather start a riot?) by KryOnBlock

T\c\violence, death\15k\Technoblade & Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

An universal ping rang out from behind him, the third and final he knew, and Phil sobbed, clutching the body tighter.

Techno didn’t move.

It always has been Technoblade and Philza, Philza and Technoblade. Take on half, and you shall never go back.

Sheltered by Lulatic

G\c\-\6k\Ranboo & Technoblade

Summary:

It was cold outside. But Techno never heard Ranboo complain.

That was the best excuse he could muster to keep him out.

Antarctic Princes 'verse by BirchWrites

T\o\-\15k\series\sbi

Summary:

Loosely-connected one shots set in an AU where the Antarctic Empire and the Dream SMP are in the same world. Ordered chronologically, but each fic can be read as a standalone thing

Summary of first part:

Oh shit. Forget arrested; Dream’s going to have to tell Wilbur that he watched Tommy get stabbed for being terminally stupid.

May we cross paths again by QueenLunaFreed

G\c\-\1k\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

“Even if tomorrow it’s just us versus the entire server, Dream, I’m telling you right now - I have confidence.”

---

Dream couldn’t comprehend the pacing contradiction in front of him, the weakness he could clearly see, but would never comment on. Because this man has been defying Dream's expectations since they first met, because despite them not being friends and having no reason to trust each other, Dream knew that Technoblade is the only person who he’d trust to do this right. To destroy L'Manberg alongside him yet again, this time for real.

leave me your starlight by findingkairos

T\o\-\18k\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

For you the world, Phil.

Once upon a time, Philza Minecraft is the only person who does not shy away from the bloody teen that regularly turns the tide of war.

This cements a friendship that will last wars, empires, worlds, and lifetimes.

---

(Featuring: Back to Back Badasses, healthy relationships, accidental deification, intentional world domination, and Phil's past coming back to haunt his best friend.)

#fanfic #dsmp #technoblade #philza #ranboo #zablr #fic recs

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soft--dragon · 4 years ago

Text

Soft Boy

Based off of this prompt here

Word Count: 1,750

Warnings: None

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don't like that then don't read :)

I hope you like this hun! ^^

Wilbur wasn't really sure what would happen when Tommy came to visit him for the weekend. But it wasn't really this.

The boy was spinning in his desk chair, stretched back and arms crossed behind his head. Wilbur sat on the bed across from it, trying to finish some lyrics for his upcoming song. Tommy had been adamantly trying to guess what it was about for almost a full half hour. Wilbur had been trying to keep the song away from Tommy's prying eyes to keep it a surprise, but the boy was incredibly persistent about knowing about it.

"Wilbur" Tommy whined for the hundredth time, slumping back further into the chair somehow. "Can you please just let me read the lyrics already?"

"Tommy, I told you before, it's not happening" Wilbur rolled his eyes, writing down a few possible notes for a specific sequence of the song. "Now be quiet child."

Tommy stopped in his constant turning in the chair, glaring at Wilbur though his head spun. "Prick" he grumbled.

Wilbur sighed. "Tommy, I want you to be able to hear the song when it's actually ready and sounds good."

Tommy gave him a confused frown. "But your music always sounds good?"

Wilbur pursed his lips together to stop a sappy smile forming, desperately trying to ignore the warmth in his chest from the younger's words. "That's from weeks of work."

"You wrote this in a few days though?"

"It's a draft Tommy."

"And you need someone to proofread it to give you feedback! I can do that!" Tommy's eyes lit up.

"Tommy" Wilbur pressed his pencil to his forehead, releasing an exasperated but fond sigh. "Give it a rest won't you?"

Tommy crossed his arms with a huff, slumping into the chair and pouting. There was silence for a moment, the only sound being Wilbur's pencil scratching against the paper then…

"Philza Minecraft wouldn't treat me like this."

"Tommy!" Wilbur threw up his hands, laughing. "Jesus christ man!"

Tommy was smirking from where he was half slouched down the chair, watching Wilbur intensely. "I'm not wrong."

"Phil doesn't write music!"

"If he did it would be awesome." Tommy then put on his best puppy eyes, pulling out the big guns of acting cute. "Please Wilby? At least let me know how the melody goes?"

Wilbur sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay, okay you know what? Fine."

He set the paper down and stood, approaching Tommy who blinked up at him, surprised that had actually worked.

"Wha-"

Wilbur set his hands down on the armrests and loomed over Tommy menacingly. "You really want to hear the music?"

"I-I mean...yeah, but I was messing around Wil, you don't actually have to show me it if you don't want to."

Wilbur felt himself soften a little at his little brother's sincere words but he quickly reestablished his intimidating image. "No no, you wanted it, and who am I to refuse my little brother?"

Tommy flushed a little, an embarrassed smile lifting his lips. "Shut up…" he mumbled, trying to hide how much joy Wilbur's words brought him. "Just sing the dumb song."

"Oh I'm not singing it, you are."

Confusion flickered over Tommy's face as he lifted his head to look at Wilbur. "Huh? How am I meant to sing it if I don't even know how it goes?"

Wilbur smirked and then without warning he dug into Tommy's sides.

Tommy's eyes bugged out as he was immediately thrown into laughter. "WAHAHahait! Whahahat thahahe fuhuhuhuck Wilbuhuhur?!"

Wilbur placed fast pokes along Tommy's sides, chuckling when the boy twisted away the best he could trapped in the gaming chair.

Tommy shoved at Wilbur's shoulders, eyes squeezing shut. "Stohohop ihihit Wihihil!"

"You wanted to know what the music was Toms, I'm showing you!" Wilbur grinned. "See I'm planning on doing a piano part specifically for the chorus, let me play it for you."

Wilbur scribbling his fingers quickly along the sides of Tommy's ribs. Tommy squeaked and fell back against the chair, squirming left and right for relief from the tormenting fingers.

"Wihihihihil!"

"No no, it's pitched a bit higher than that, hang on, lemme see if I can get the right note" Wilbur gently rubbed the top bones of Tommy's ribs.

"FUHUHUHUCK!" Tommy squealed, trying to shove the hands away from the horribly ticklish area.

Wilbur's eyes lit up. "There it is! That's the note Toms!"

"Shuhut uhuhup yohohou prihihick!" Tommy squeaked, face flushing pinker and legs kicking against the floor.

Wilbur chuckled fondly, smiling down at his baby brother. "Try to hold that pitch for a bit, it stays like that for about fifteen seconds, I'll give you a hand."

Wilbur's fingers scribbled against the tops of Tommy's ribs again, scratching gently close to his underarms. Tommy squealed through his honey sweet giggles, trying to squirm lower in the chair in hopes to evade the maddening sensations.

"Nononohohoho! Wihihihihil plehehease!"

"Hasn't been fifteen seconds yet Toms! You gotta hold that note for fifteen seconds, it's how the song goes" Wilbur clicked his tongue, fingers prodding around the bones lightly.

Tommy shoved at Wilbur's shoulders with shaking hands, laughter still tumbling out of him. "Fuhuhucking- NOHOHO!"

Wilbur's hands had slipped into Tommy's armpits, spidering along the sensitive skin with precise ticklish touches.

"Atta boy Toms, the notes do go a bit higher there, but then they drop again, mind lowering your pitch please?" Wilbur smirked, shifting his fingers down to Tommy's stomach and wiggling at the sides of his navel.

Tommy twisted at the change of spots, hiccups starting to pepper in between his rich laughter. "N-Nohoho Wihihlby! Nohot thehehere-" Tommy squeaked, trying to push Wilbur's fingers from his sensitive midriff.

Wilbur audibly cooed. "Got a ticklish lil giggle button Tommy boy?"

Tommy flushed, shaking his head as his giggles increased. "Wil-Wilbur dohohon't-"

"Don't what?"

Tommy pressed his head against Wilbur's shoulder, his flustered titters making his shoulders bounce. "Yohohou're beheheing mehehean!"

Wilbur smiled, leaning his head on Tommy's. "Me? Mean? I could never be mean to my little brother."

Tommy pressed his face further into the older's arm, hands gripping his yellow sweater. "Doho yohou really mean it when you cahall me that?"

Wilbur paused his fingers movements, confusion crossing his face. "What?" He asked.

Tommy hesitantly lifted his head from Wilbur's shoulder, hands still holding the fabric of his sweater. "When...when you call me your little brother" he said, a bit timidly. "Do you honestly mean it?"

Wilbur took in Tommy's face. His nervous eyes, his small lip bite, his furrowed brows as he waited for Wilbur's response.

"Toms" Wilbur lifted a hand from Tommy's side to gently cup his cheek. "Of course I mean it, why wouldn't I? I'd never lie to you, you're my Tommy, my little gremlin of a brother. You're the kid that encourages me to get up in the mornings, the kid who understands my sense of humor better than anyone, and the kid who accepted my flaws and loves me unconditionally."

Wilbur smiled, warm and genuine. "Of course you're my brother, no one else could ever do it as well as you do."

Tommy lips parted in awe, rendered speechless for the first time in his life. Wilbur pressed a kiss to the boy's hair, then gently ruffled the fluffy curls.

"I mean it Tommy" he repeated. "Every time I say it."

Tommy swallowed after a second, blinking rapidly then groaned, pressing the back of his hand to his face. "You said it would make you cry when I call you my brother, why is it making me cry when you say it to me?"

Wilbur laughed. "Cause you love me."

"Fuck off" Tommy grumbled but the smile on his face took away the heat.

Wilbur held his hands out to Tommy who took them after a second. Wilbur hauled the boy up and pulled him to his chest, squeezing him gently.

"I love you Tommy" he said quietly. "Need me to say it again?"

Tommy smiled. "No, your whole speech told me that-"

"I love you Tommy" Wilbur repeated, starting to place small kisses in Tommy's hair again. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Tommy shoved at Wilbur's chest, laughing as he tried to duck away from the affection. "You're so embarrassing!"

"I'm not gonna stop until you say it back!" Wilbur crowed, grinning ear to ear now.

"Fuck off!"

"Say it!" Wilbur wiggled his fingers against Tommy's back, dropping his head to blow a raspberry on his neck.

"NOHOHohoho! Wilbur! Stohohop!" Tommy cackled, trying to push away from Wilbur but only arching himself into the man's fingers.

"Only when you say it! It's three words Tommy!" Wilbur spidered lightly at Tommy's lower ribs, blowing another raspberry on the boy's skin. "You do can it!"

Tommy's knees had almost given out under him, Wilbur practically holding up the boy. Tommy squirmed, giggling madly at the gentle tickles and trying not to drop to the floor.

"Fihihine! Okay! I lohohove you Wilbuhuhur!" He turned his head away from the older to hide his red face and rapid giggles. Wilbur's face broke into a massive smile.

"Awwww Tommy!" Wilbur lifted the boy off his feet and hugged him tightly. "Thank you!"

"Lemme down you prick!" Tommy laughed, "I'm gonna start stabbing shit!"

Wilbur squeezed him then lowered the boy again. "You wouldn't stab me would you?"

"Test me and I might."

Wilbur chuckled and turned back to the bed where the song lyrics and his guitar lay. "You actually want to hear what I've got so far?"

Tommy's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Wilbur felt his chest warm at the kid. "Yeah, really."

"Hell yes!" Tommy leapt onto the bed, picked up the guitar and held it out to Wilbur. "Lemme hear it Big Dubs!"

Wilbur rolled his eyes and sat on the bed, adjusting the instrument. "It's still not completely finished yet" he said, tuning it a little.

"That's fine" Tommy lay on his stomach, watching Wilbur with his complete attention. "Anything you play sounds great."

'This kid' Wilbur thought fondly. 'What did I do to deserve him?'

"Okay" he placed the capo onto the frets and strummed the tune with calloused fingers. He took a deep breath; "I'm living the dream, it's just one of those dreams where you're losing all your teeth, and if you think that it gets better, darling, take a look at me…"

#mcyt tickle #lee!tommy #ler!wilbur #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #dsmp tickle #my fanfic #fanfic

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blackstarising · 4 years ago

Text

precipice, a buckysarah fic | also on ao3

bucky and sarah spend saturday mornings together on the wilson's back porch. neither remembers when this became a habit.

She’s awake for a few moments before she hears it, the creaking, through the open window. It’s not loud, of course, it’s never loud, Daddy had dutifully oiled the swing’s joints to make sure that wouldn’t happen, but age had touched it just enough that, nowadays, you’d know if someone was sitting there.

Sarah sits up, and rubs the sleep from her eyes. The thick, summer air fills her lungs, the same that coats her forehead in a sheen of sweat. Lingering tension from melts from her shoulders. Unconsciously, she brushes the dog tags nestled inside of her shirt.

He’s okay. Thank God.

A familiar electric buzz runs up the back of her spine as she pads past the boys’ rooms and tiptoes down the stairs. Months ago, that buzz would have prompted her toss her bonnet onto her bed, to swiftly change into jeans and a somewhat presentable T-shirt, even though Saturday mornings before 8 were, by law, designated as Sarah Time.

And then, three weeks ago, the last time she’d seen him in person, she’d raced down the stairs to get AJ’s stuffed toy (some Minecraft thing? Sarah could never keep track) that he’d accidentally left outside before he woke up, cheesy printed pajamas and all. He hadn’t flinched.

He could fit into Sarah Time, she’d decided, right then and there. Lizzo’s “Cuz I Love You” was left on repeat on her phone for her the rest of the day.

So she slips downstairs, ‘Bad Mama Jama’ shirt and all. Coffee steeps. Two mugs are produced, lactose-free milk dumped into each, and a sizable glop of honey into hers.

After all this time, his breath still catches a little when he sees her come out the back door. The humidity that sticks to Bucky’s skin like a stifling coat makes her skin shimmer in the faint sunlight. She yawns, her nose wrinkling just enough that it’s painfully cute, and then she relaxes, still sleepy but serene as she presses the hot mug into his right hand.

“Hey.” He greets her.

“Hey.” Her smile grows. “You’re back.”

“I am. With cinnamon rolls.” Sure enough, a paper bag rests next to the swing. He pats his left side, and she obliges. Their thighs touch plainly this time.

She takes a slow sip of her coffee. “Hope you haven’t been sitting here all night. Where’s Sam?”

“About an hour, and still in DC. Captain America business, and all that.”

“And what? No Winter Soldier business?”

Bucky shrugs. “I like the quiet.” Her quiet. Or maybe just her and the boys, though the boys weren’t that quiet. And ‘like’ was too weak a word at this point, probably.

She takes another sip of coffee, strangely proud. He does too, if only to silence the annoyingly insistent voice in the back of his head nagging him to just put his arm around her shoulder already.

“Still not sure about this fancy milk, though.”

“You mean milk that me and the kids can actually digest?” Sarah knows damn well he can’t taste the difference. “Well, I have bad news for you about oat milk. And soy milk." She grins wickedly. "And don't forget rice milk-”

“None of which belong in coffee.” After nearly a century of identities and missions she’s not sure if she ever wants to hear about, his Brooklyn accent is faint, but he still stretches out the caw in ‘coffee’. How mortifying it is, the way she perks up when that grit bleeds out.

He brushes the bright blue hem of her bonnet. “Is this new?”

She shakes her head and pulls it off. Dark braids tumble down her shoulders. These ones are new, he notices - they’re tighter at the root, and shimmer with oil that smells of roses. “Found out AJ stuffed it in the couch cushions a month ago. I just happened to stick my hand down there yesterday. I do not know what it is about him and that damn couch.” She snickers. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and find a signed check for a million dollars down there one day.”

He chuckles, and gives the ground a little kick the start the swing going again. “Did he get his new glasses yet? Last time I was here, he was saying that he didn’t want to see the optometrist again.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t like the...” Sarah makes a motion with a finger, like she’s pressing a button. “There’s a little gun they use. They blow a puff of air onto your eyeball.”

Bucky recoils a little. “They what?”

“It’s supposed to measure it for the prescription. They tried to do it on me before they did his. I thought it was supposed to be just like a little breeze, but it bounces off your eye.” She pauses and scratches her head. “I may have hollered-”

“Ha! I bet he took that well.”

“I had to get him on my lap to calm down.” She sighs and pouts, just a little. “At least he still wants to be held. Cass makes me drop him off a block away from school now.”

Cass is indeed growing. Overnight, he’s shot up like a reed so that he’s just as high as Bucky’s shoulders. His normally smooth skin is interrupted by a few bumps, and his voice bounces around in pitch like an untuned clarinet. Something in his chest twinges when he considers it, how time marches forward. How, very soon, the collective wide-eyed innocence of the boys will harden into adulthood.

Her gaze falls to his left hand. The fingers curl and flex. She still remembers the first time she’d looked at his arm, really looked at it, the dark plates molding and shifting. It’d been the second time they’d shared this same porch, waiting for Sam to bring back the boys from fishing.

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, Sarah, he’d said suddenly, catching her gaze. His voice had been heavy, but clear. Dark blue eyes filled with regret. I’ve hurt people. Killed people. I didn’t have a choice, but, with you and- here, she’d held her breath as his Adam’s apple bobbed, how quickly he’d blinked - and the boys, I...I don’t want- I need you to know all of me. Who I’ve been. Who I am. And then you can decide. But you can’t do that if I’m not honest.

She doesn’t remember what she’d said after. She does remember watching him get into the truck so Sam could take him to the airport. How he’d paused when he’d opened the door, and turned towards her, eyes wide. Vulnerable. How she’d smiled at him, and waved, maybe a bit too cheesily, like it’d been the easiest thing in the world, because despite it all, oddly, she hadn’t been afraid. How the widest grin had broken out on his face and something deep inside her chest that had been closed had burst open for the first time since she’d lost Andrew. And she remembers watching the truck pull out of the drive as her heart filled to such a capacity that her chest hurt, and the second they’d disappeared over the hill she’d promptly burst into tears, well, really, half laughing and half sobbing, because how the hell was she supposed to know she could find that feeling again?

It’s only when she sees his jaw clench that she finally notices the cut, long and fading pink against his chiseled cheekbones. Maybe she’s getting too used to them - he’s always injured in some way when he gets back.

He can see that familiar softening in her eyes as she catches sight of the gash. Well, it had been a gash just an hour before, the result of catching a thrown knife on his cheek before he’d caught the hilt. But what’s about to happen next will play like clockwork.

First, she’s going to try to get a closer look. Her index and pointer finger come up just under his chin, tilting his head to the side. His skin tingles, the electricity of her concern rushing through him.

Then, she’ll hum. She’s never chastised him, though he wouldn’t know what there’d be to say if she tried. But that hum says more than enough.

“Hmm.”

In the moment, she doesn’t feel herself cupping his face with both hands, it just sort of happens. Her throat dries instantly as the stubble brushes in her palms.

He can’t breathe, but every single muscle in his body relaxes. He sinks into her touch.

“Y- you should see the other guy,” he manages to get out. There’s a faint memory that breaks to the surface, the docks in New York, 1940-something, 1943? A date whose name has been lost to time, the last date he’d ever go on. Soft hands cupping his face, just like this, and warm, pleading ruby-red lips crashing dully into his, a whisper to not forget her.

Sarah’s tongue darts between her lips. Both thumbs rub small circles into his cheeks. It wasn’t a question of if he wanted to kiss her, no. When has a day gone by that he hasn’t thought of kissing her? How is it that it’s never happened, but he can see it, clear as crystal, and hold it in his mind’s eye. How can he already feel her warm and flush and present and breathless and real against him?

Very slowly, she comes back to herself, and her face immediately flushes with a sharper heat. Her hands awkwardly drop from his face. She tries to think of something, anything, to interrupt the silence (to explain herself?), but every word that comes to mind sticks helplessly in her throat and she just can’t stand it because she’s the same, she’s exactly the same as she’d been at 17, leg jiggling and sweating and staring a hole right through the back of Andrew’s head in AP Calculus.

(She’d never wanted to punch Sam so bad back then when he’d had the audacity to say well, just tell him, already. The audacity of him, to think things were so simple.)

She leans back, scooting just a hair away this time. The crest of the sun beams through the trees, painfully bright. Her pulse is louder now. She’s looking at the small grove so intently she doesn’t even register the weight gently settle on her left shoulder at first. It only clicks when she feels the cool metal of his thumb brush up and down her bicep. Their eyes lock, brown against against blue.

He’s still smiling, and she, she realizes, is too.

So she melts into him. She melts into him, her ear landing over his chest, her arm wrapping around the small of his back. She sighs into the muted whoosh whoosh whoosh of his heartbeat, the cotton of his shirt, and the faint smell of spearmint on his breath. Another kick of her foot and they’re swinging yet again, back and forth, back and forth. The sun pulls itself up ever higher and higher.

The light starts to burn his cheek. “The boys’ll be up soon,” he murmurs into her hair.

She snuggles deeper into him. “Mmm.”

They’re on the precipice of something, this, they both know. They're inching closer and closer, and one day they’ll step off, and she’ll kiss him full on the mouth and whenever he’ll come back to the house he’ll be coming back home and whenever they go anywhere they’ll stick each others hand in their back pockets in that particular way that teenagers do that let everyone know that they’re each others and there’s nothing they can do about it.

One day. But for now, this is more than enough.

They like the quiet.

#tfatws #tfatws spoilers #bucky barnes #sarah wilson #buckysarah #bucky x sarah #sarahbucky #sarah x bucky #otp: buckysarah

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cowboy-eddie · 4 years ago

Text

Tumblr Exclusive: Dodged A Bullet

(No, not that one. We’re not talking about that one)

(That’s kinda ironic though and COMPLETELY unintentional and now I can’t change the title lmao)

Since I would rather laugh than cry, here’s a stupid little fic about one time when Chris picked up on a saying going around the firehouse and the person he got it from? You won’t expect it.

“Oh, for the love of-“

“He’s definitely got a tiny dick.”

Eddie gaped, looking at Christopher through the rear view mirror. Stuck in LA traffic, already ten minutes late to work, and some idiot had just cut Eddie’s truck off on a particularly dangerous highway. Eddie slammed on the breaks, honking his horn before turning to look at Christopher in the backseat.

“Did you want to repeat what you just said, buddy?”

“That guy who cut you off, dad. He has a tiny dick.”

It was really hard for Eddie not to laugh. Sighing, he reached into the backseat.

“Switch please. You know better than to say rude words like that.”

Christopher handed over the device and Eddie tossed it on to the passenger seat, tucked under his duffel bag. It wasn’t until he’d managed to drop Chris off at school and get to work that Eddie remembered what Christopher had said in the traffic, and he immediately went looking for the one person Christopher would copy without hesitation.

-~-

“Buck!”

“Ah shit. I know that face.”

Buck put his phone in his back pocket, grimacing at Eddie.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why did my ten year old just say the person who cut me off in traffic has a tiny dick?”

Buck’s eyebrows shot up and Eddie could see the corner of his lips twitching.

“Man, you know you have to watch what you say near him, he’s at the age-“

“-Eddie, I swear, that wasn’t me. I have never sworn in front of Christopher.”

“Last week you literally said, and I quote, ‘son of a bitch Eddie, can you NOT stick your fucking cold feet on my legs?’”

“That doesn’t count, I didn’t know he was there! He’s sneaky when he’s not using his crutches.”

Buck raised his hands in surrender.

“It wasn’t me who taught Chris to say that. I swear.”

Eddie sighed, mainly in defeat because he knew Buck was telling him the truth. Turning on Hen and Chim, he put his hands on his hips and did his best dad-frown, which just made Chim laugh.

“I know you’re trying to dad-glare us, but it just looks like you’re really constipated.”

Hen snorted, shoving her elbow into his side.

“It wasn’t us, Eddie. Neither of us have driven Christopher anywhere recently.”

“Well it was one of you!”

“It wasn’t one of us, Eddie. Chill out, kids do this stuff all the time.”

Chim waved Eddie off, but Eddie had a comeback of his own.

“When Jee starts swearing, I’ll remember that.”

“Oh my god, Jee is gonna swear. My little girl is gonna let filthy words rip when she’s pissed off. I have to call Maddie.”

Chim looked disturbed for a second and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“If it wasn’t one of you, I’m gonna have to question people I’d really rather not.”

“Like who, your grandma?” Chim asked, apparently having recovered from his temporary crisis. The second he realised what he’d said Hen smacked a hand over his mouth, laughing at her idiot for a best friend.

“Well yeah, Chim, like my grandmother. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her even utter a cuss word.”

“I don’t think your grandma knows what swearing is, Eds.”

“Oh, she does, but she’s always the one to tell us off. One time my dad said crap and she chased him for ten minutes with a wooden spoon.”

Eddie winced absentmindedly, seemingly remembering something.

“You can imagine her reaction when 15 year old me said Fuck.”

Buck grinned, getting up to press a hand to Eddie’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Chris was gonna pick up on it at some point. It’s not like you don’t swear.”

“That’s different. He said someone had a tiny dick, Buck.”

That did it. Hen, Chim and Buck snickered together and Eddie couldn’t even pretend to be pissed as he started laughing with them.

“I’m gonna have my hands full when he’s a teenager right?”

“Yes,” Hen and Buck said simultaneously.

-~-

“Abuela, Pepa, can I ask you a question?”

“We’ve already had the talk, Eddie,” Pepa said seriously as she took a seat at the dining talk and Eddie flushed red, groaning as he remembered his parents refusing to give him the talk so Pepa had done it. Being the only boy of his family and receiving the talk from his aunt was definitely something Eddie would rather forget.

“Thank you, Pepa, I’ll never let that go. No, uh, it’s about Christopher.”

“Oh, Edmundo, he said something interesting yesterday. I can’t remember what it was...”

Abuela furrowed her brows for a moment, trying to recall what her great-grandson had said and Eddie’s eyebrows shot up.

“Were you in the car by any chance?”

“No, we were in the grocery store. Someone was being rude in the queue, a man wasn’t wearing his mask...”

“Oh my- Abuela, I-“

Eddie’s Abuela’s lips quirked up, and she laughed.

“Oh, yes, young Christopher has a brilliant imagination.”

“I’m so sorry Abuela, I had no idea he’d picked up the saying. I’ve had a talk with him-“

“-what saying? He simply told the man if he didn’t want to wear his mask then he wouldn’t get any presents for Christmas.”

Eddie promptly shut his mouth. Pepa looked to him and squeezed his arm.

“What did you want to ask us?”

“Has anyone been talking about genitals in front of my ten year old?”

“Edmundo!” Pepa and Abuela both exclaimed, surprised and Eddie raised his hands in surrender as he slowly backed off his chair.

“I’m gonna see myself out. Night Abuela, Tia Pepa-“

“-Eddie! Back here now!” Pepa yelled after him but he was out the door faster than she could yell his middle name.

-~-

The next morning, Christopher was having breakfast when he looked up at Eddie.

“Dad?” He began and Eddie hummed, not really paying attention.

“When can I have my switch back? I promised Denny that we would play Minecraft together tonight.”

Eddie sighed and reached into his work bag, producing the device.

“After school and only after your homework is done. I’ll tell Carla.”

“I don’t understand why you took it in the first place,” Christopher said and Eddie was glad he’d raised his son to be honest with him.

“Chris, you know what you said in the truck yesterday, when we got cut off in traffic?”

Christopher beamed, giggling and Eddie really wanted to laugh it off too but he had to play bad cop for a moment.

“Okay, well if I hear you say it again, there’ll be no switch for a week. It’s not- you’re ten, Christopher- I don’t know if I’m comfortable with you saying stuff like that.”

“Okay dad,” Christopher frowned, and Eddie squeezed his arm.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know, but let’s not say it again until you’re at least forty. Clear? Who even taught you that anyway?”

Christopher was smiling again, clapping his hands and he didn’t hesitate to blab to his father.

-~-

Eddie walked into work that afternoon with a new sense of purpose. Walking straight past Buck, not even stopping to tell Chim his shirt was buttoned wrong, barely acknowledging Hen, Eddie tossed his duffel on the couch and knocked on Bobby’s office door.

-~-

“Hey Bobby, got a second?”

“Did you teach my son to say someone’s got a tiny- well-“

“What are you-“

Eddie crossed his arms, raised his eyebrow ever so slightly and Bobby raised his hands in surrender.

“In my defence, Athena said it not me.”

“Mmhmm.”

Eddie didn’t look particularly convinced but he didn’t look particularly convinced either.

“Apparently it’s something Michael says when he’s annoyed, it makes him feel better. Male or female, young adult or elderly, he just lets rip.”

Eddie’s lips twitched, and Bobby grinned at him.

“You can’t laugh about it in front of Chris, but it’s funny right?”

“Not when it’s coming out of my child’s mouth! But- yes, okay, it’s a little funny.”

And finally, Eddie started laughing.

Bobby knew he’d dodged a bullet there. He’d have to inform Athena later to give Eddie a wide berth for a couple days.

#911 #evan buckley #911 on fox #buck #christopher diaz #911 fox #9-1-1 #911onfox #Eddie diaz

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