#do I have to tag kate in this? she not really considered a part of the “family”. which is dumb. but anyway I think she applies here

[secretly-a-catamount]

Every time I see a “[X Member] of the Batfamily is the stable/normal one”-kind of post my soul shrivel up a little bit, I swear.

They’re all messed up in different amounts and in different ways.

They’re all messed up, and that’s the point.

[bitchesuntitled]

Broken Hearts Mended

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader, Joel Miller x F!Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+ Minors, get out! Language(at this rate, just expect it. That's just me), Pregnancy, Dieter trying to fix his past, sad!Dieter, dad!Dieter, smut, pinv, oral(m!recieving), wedding crasher!Dieter, TIME TRAVEL, OFC

a/n: This is for the Roll-A-Trope Challenge by @burntheedges I got Time Travel! Never dabbled with that before but it was fun and sheesh, Kate- this is the longest story I've ever written! This could be considered a part two of Some Broken Hearts Never Mend but can be read as a standalone! The OFC is based off my bestie IRL @hessofather - thank you for being you, for helping me with the witchy stuff, and love ya bitch! Thank you @beefrobeefcal and @jay-zzle(for the moodboard &) for your eyes on this one! Love you both!

Masterlist||AO3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

He’d been staring at the clock for an eternity or what felt like an eternity. Today was the day, the day Dieter’s been dreading since he found out. 

Today is your wedding day.

In typical Hollywood fashion, a friend of a friend let it slip when the wedding was. Saturday afternoon, 3 pm to be exact. Mark was supposed to be on standby to ensure Dieter stayed at home today and didn’t do something stupid, but what Mark didn’t expect was to be locked in the pantry with Dieter sitting outside.

“Dieter, come on man,” Mark pleaded, “Think about this before you do something dumb.”

“Would it really be that bad if I went?!”

“Yes,” Mark sighed, “Dieter, you need to let her go. If you go to that hotel all that will happen is you make a fool of yourself and embarrass her!”

“Embarrass her?!” Dieter scoffs, looking at the closed door with offense. “I got sober for fucks sake! For her and she didn’t even let me see my kid! Instead that bastard is playing daddy to my Lexi! My peanut!”

“Dieter!” Mark shouts, slamming his fists against the door, “Let me out and let’s talk face-to-face about this.”

“Sheesh Mark, calm down,” Dieter says, glancing at the clock, “If I go, maybe she’ll see me and remember how much she loved me. I gotta try right?”

“Dieter, please,” Mark sighs, “Don’t do this. It’s not a good idea.”

“I have to try, Mark.”

“Damn it, Dieter!”

More punches are being thrown at the pantry door as Dieter slowly backs away from it.

“If I don’t try now, I’m just going to spend the rest of my life wondering what if!” Dieter shouts, “Mark, you gotta understand that man.”

—

Dieter was able to bribe a waiter into letting him in through the kitchen, he had tried the front but the hotel staff quickly guided him right back through the front door. The place was gorgeous, decked in all navy blue, gold, and white, and the flower petals spread down the aisle he stood in front of. Joel is standing next to the officiant, fiddling with the gold cufflinks on his wrists. The bridal song began and everyone looked back at Dieter.

He stood there frozen, unsure of what to do until he heard the door behind him open, he turned slowly. There you were, standing before him in a gorgeous flowy white gown.

“Dieter?” You asked, confusion painted across your face before it turned into a silent rage.

“I- I need-“ he began, trying to think of what to say.

“Jesus Christ,” your father muttered under his breath before shouting for security.

“Wait-“ Dieter gasped, as two men in suits grabbed his arms pulling him towards the hall, “Please! Let me just ha-“

“Wait!,” you shout panicked, before clearing your throat, “Sorry everyone,” you announce, “Let me just take care of this real quick then we’ll be ready to get this wedding started.”

Dieter was dumbfounded. You were actually going to listen to him. You wanted to hear what he had to say. He knew it! He still had a chance. You let go of your dad’s arm and looped it around Dieter’s, leading him out into the hallway with a polite reassuring smile to your guests.

In another life, this would be the way it went. You in your gorgeous wedding dress, walking down an aisle on his arm, smiling politely to your guests before he whisked you away to ravish you the entire night. Once the doors closed, you stepped away from him clearing your throat.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing here?” You hiss, the rage in you tipping over its boiling point.

“I wanted to-“ he starts softly before you interrupt him again.

“Wanted what Dieter?!” You seethe, “Did you not feel it was enough when you showed up at my home? My work? Lexi’s fucking school?”

“I didn’t think-“ he winces, knowing immediately those are the wrong words with the laugh you let out.

“No Dieter, you didn’t fucking think,” you scoff, “You’ve spent the past six years not fucking thinking and it’s shown plenty!”

“Baby-“ Dieter tries again.

“Don’t you dare call me that!” You stop him, “Dieter, you need to leave. I’m marrying Joel and Lexi finally has a dad who wants her and loves her.”

“But I do love her,” Dieter says, tears blurring his vision, “That’s why I stayed away from you both. I love you both so much, I didn’t want you wrapped up in my shit and I’m trying to change!”

You shake your head with a sigh.

“You just have to give me another chance,” he whimpers, the tears steadily falling down his face.

“No,” you say quietly, “You’ve had enough chances.”

—

You were officially done with his shit and let him know he’d be hearing from your lawyers on Monday. His heart broken, his mind felt numb, and Dieter’s legs began to move. He felt like pins and needles were pricking all over his skin, trying to ignore the feeling, he began to speed up. He’d be fine as long as he kept moving. His chest felt like there was a weight on it, trying to catch his breath.

He needed to find somewhere with air conditioning, maybe it’s the heat finally getting to him. Standing outside a store called Vixen’s. Huh, he thought, a sex shop would be the perfect way to distract his mind. A dinging sound chimes as he enters the store.

“Good afternoon!” A cheery feminine voice calls out from the back, “I’ll be right with you.”

Dieter stood next to a counter, focusing on his breathing. The place smelled like sage, rose, and lavender. This was definitely not a sex shop. His hands held onto the counter in front of him as he closed his eyes and took in the sweet aroma of the shop. Whatever it was, it was working to help calm him down.

“Sir?” A feminine voice called out to him, “Ya alright?”

Dieter looked towards the voice to see a short woman with auburn hair standing next to a door that stated Employees Only. He gave a short nod, signaling he was okay. He just had to focus on his breathing.

“Fuck!” She gasped, flailing her hands in the air, “It’s you! C’mere!”

“Huh?” Dieter asked in confusion, trying to catch his breath.

“C’mere!” She said more sternly, motioning for him to follow her, “Been expectin’ you to show up any day now and you’re finally here!”

Dieter began to follow the stranger apprehensively down a hall, passing multiple doors, as she began to talk more.

“The names’ Willow Vixen. Now that you’re here, maybe I can finally stop using the rose.” She states, wrinkling her nose, “Not my favorite but that’s what the ball suggested for your arrival. Considering it doesn’t give me much of a time frame I figured fuck it and just started making sure it was around at all times.”

“Ball?” Dieter asks, his legs taking over, continuing to follow Willow until they meet a door that has her name on it, “I’m sorry but do I know you?”

“Not yet, Dieter,” Willow hums, grabbing a key ring from her belt loops, and unlocking the door, “When we get inside I’ll explain.”

Once she opened the door, he was hit with a powerful smell of sage and rosemary. She ushered him in, closing the door behind her.

“Sit,” she commanded, pointing to a table in the middle of the room.

He wasn’t sure what he was even doing here. Following a stranger into some back room of a store sounded like the beginnings of some ritual sacrifice and by the way her office was set up, it looked like it, too.

The room was dim before Willow fluttered about lighting candles while humming, beginning to shed more light on her space. He could see a table covered in an emerald green cloth with four chairs surrounding it, and a crystal ball sat upon a perch in the middle of it with dozens of candles surrounding it.

“So… uh,” Dieter hesitates, hands scrubbing through his hair. The fuck is he doing here? He should leave. Willow continues to hum while she lights more candles by a thick open book sitting on a desk, flipping through the pages before she stops.

“Ah-ha!” She announces with a joyous clap, “Would ya look at that! Found it on the first try.”

She looks up to see Dieter still standing by the door with a nervous energy about him.

“Gah damn it, Dieter,” she grumbles, approaching him, “Ain’t gonna hurt ya. I’m here to help ya. Now go on, sit,” Ushering him to the table, lightly patting him on the shoulders, “Let me just get a few more things ready before I truly start this process, alright?”

“Help me?” He asks, watching Willow move in the space around them. She grabbed a bottle and began spritzing it around the chair he sat in.

“Duh, I told ya,” Willow said with a raised eyebrow smirking, “Oh wait, maybe I didn’t? Did I?”

Dieter looked at her in bewilderment, continuing to watch as she placed the spray bottle of liquid beside him and grabbed incense instead, placing them in their holders and lit them.

“T- tell me what?” He asked nervously, placing his hands in his lap and beginning to fidget with his fingers.

“My apologies, sir.” Willow bows, “I am a witch! Well, kind of a-a witch. I’m a witch practicin’. My great great great great grandma was one and it kinda skipped a generation or two cause my folks decided we should follow Jesus instead. Ya in any sort of religion? I’ve been involved with… too many.”

Dieter shakes his head. Fuck, this is how it ends, he was right. She’s gonna sacrifice him.

“I’m spraying lavender right now to try and get your ass to calm down,” she states matter of factly picking the bottle up again, Dieter flinches when she sprays some directly onto his hair, “Your energy is thick with nerves. Now what was I sayin’?” She asked, stopping in place and staring at the table cloth.

“Oh yeah! Sorry, I have a disorder where my memory ain’t the best. Think Dory from Findin’ Nemo,” Willow smiles brightly, “I’m a witch and this here crystal ball-” she taps a finger against the clear ball in the middle of the table, “-showed me to be expectin’ ya.”

“Sh-showed you?” Dieter asks, cocking his head to the side with wide eyes.

“Yeah!” Willow exclaims, “Showed me you comin’ here, us doing some magic and then you fuckin’ off to whatever it is you’re tryin’ to change!”

“Wait,” Dieter stops, eyes widening, “What am I changing?”

“Beats me,” Willow shrugs, fanning the incense around before plopping down in the chair across from him, “Alls I know is I’m supposed to help ya get there.”

Dieter looks at her and then the ball in between them. It starts sparkling inside as the clear crystal becomes dense with a weird purple fog, swirling around the inside of the crystal.

“Oh shit! It’s doin’ the thing again!” Willow shrieks in excitement, bouncing in her chair, “I told ya the thing showed me what I needed to do! Maybe it’s trying to show you what you need to do.”

Dieter stares at the ball before the swirling fog reveals you lying in your shared bed years ago. He remembers this morning clear as day, it’s the morning before he went to that stupid party and relapsed.

“It’s her,” he chokes back a sob, “What kind of sick fucking trick is this?!”

“It’s not a trick!” Willow protests, “I’m tellin’ the truth! Just watch the damn thing!”

Dieter continues watching the fog swirl within the ball, seeing himself join you in bed. Dieter perks up as he watches himself undress you and begin worshiping you like the goddess you are. Willow clears her throat turning her head.

“Ope,” she murmurs, cheeks becoming flaming red, peering at the ceiling out of privacy, “Don’t think I’m supposed to watch this bit.”

Dieter is entranced, watching the two of you, reliving that entire day. Except in this version he never leaves the house, he stays home with you instead. That’s what he should have done, stay home and hang out with you instead of go to that stupid fucking party.

The purple fog disappears and the crystal becomes clear again, leaving Dieter even more confused.

“Wait!” He shouts, gripping the ball with both hands, “Come back! Show me more!”

“Now hold on just a damn minute,” Willow scolds, pushing his hands off the ball, “Don’t break my damn ball. It’s the only one I got.”

“But I want to see more,” Dieter lets out a pathetic whine, “How can I see more. Make it show me!” He demands.

“Not how it works, bub,” Willow huffs, “But, from the looks of it that’s where the ball wants me to send you.”

“S-s-send me?” Dieter stutters out with a scoff, “How are you gonna send me back to the happiest time of my life?”

“Time travel, duh,” Willow snorts, “The hell do you think you showed up here for?”

He looks at her with bewilderment. How the fuck is this girl supposed to help him go backwards in time?

“Now, now,” Willow says, clicking her tongue in annoyance, “I recognize that look. Ya don’t believe me,” she adds with a roll of her eyes, “I’ve got everything ready.”

She stands making her way to a small tea kettle, filling it with water from a jug before placing it on her desk beside the book. Willow moves through her office with a practiced ease, opening and closing cabinets, grabbing the things she’ll need for this ritual. Taking one last glance at the book on her desk before clearing her throat.

“Now, I’m gonna brew this tea for you to drink. It’s got some cloves, rosemary, garlic and cinnamon in it,” she explains, plunking and sprinkling the herbs in the kettle, “Oh shit!” She laughs, opening a desk drawer to pull out a small hot plate, “Ain’t gonna get very far without boilin’ it.”

Dieter watches as she softly hums, flitting about the room as the tea gets ready.

“Now, I got white sage and mullein burning already,” Willow explains pointing at each, “Helps with clarity.”

He nods, still confused and a little scared. He has no clue how this is supposed to actually work. Time travel isn’t real, this isn’t some movie like Back to the Future. Although, he thinks tilting his head, would be pretty cool to drive the DeLorean. His thoughts are interrupted by Willow chanting something over the tea right as the kettle lets out a shrill whistle. Willow pours the tea into a little cup bringing it over to the table, placing it in front of Dieter.

“Ain’t gonna lie to ya,” Willow grimaces, “Probably gonna be nasty as fuck with the herbs I had to use but it’s what the book said to use.”

“Probably not the worst thing I’ve ever ingested,” Dieter shrugs, “So how’s this work? Do I just drink it?”

Willow nods, “I said the spell, I have the scents going, all you have to do is keep an open mind,” she continues with a smile.

Dieter nods, staring at the cup. What’s the worst that could happen? His life is already fucked. At least he can say he tried if it doesn’t work, grabbing the cup and downing the drink. Willow was right- it’s rancid, he begins to cough placing the cup back on the table.

“Now what?” Dieter asks with a grimace, glancing at Willow.

“Now,” a grin spreads across her face, “We wait.”

- - -

The sun’s rays shone through the curtains causing Dieter to wince as he woke the next morning. How was he supposed to know if the ritual worked? Willow said they just had to wait. Wait for what though? Hearing a soft groan next to him he peeked one eye open at the sound, looking around he noticed this wasn’t his room. Well, more so not his room anymore. The soft yellow walls and white curtains had all been replaced after you left with dark grays.

Glancing next to him, he felt like his heart stopped. There you were, snoring softly next to him. Maybe he was dreaming and his mind decided to torture him, it wouldn’t be the first time it had happened but then you reached for him. Your hand laying on his chest above his heart. Dieter didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, shout with joy or all three at the same time. His palm reaches out, gently touching your face.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers to your sleeping form as he rubs the apple of your cheek with his thumb, “I was such a fucking idiot.”

You crinkle your nose and let out a huff as you sleep. A grin plastered across his face, he can’t believe it actually worked. If he ever sees Willow again he’s going to have to thank her. She may not know what for, with traveling back in time, but he’ll thank her anyway. 

“You’re staring,” you let out a sleepy grumble.

“Can’t help it,” Dieter whispers, grinning like an idiot. You open an eye to look at him, raising your brows.

“Why are we whispering?” You giggle, scooting closer to lay your head on his chest, listening to the thump of his heartbeat.

Dieter takes a deep breath into your hair, shrugging his shoulders, wrapping his arms around you and holding you tight. Afraid if he loosens his grip you’ll be gone again. His hands begin to roam under your shirt, feeling the softness of your skin, the roundness of your belly. You’re still pregnant, grinning to himself as he sits up and moves you to lay on your back, rubbing his hands down to your hips. You’d always complained of them hurting with the added weight of Peanut, their little Lexi who would be coming into this world.

“Mmm,” you let out a soft moan, as his hands gingerly massage your hips, your fingers digging into his thigh, “Dieter.”

He couldn’t stop smiling, unable to believe this is actually happening again. Being with you, being back in your shared home, being here during the happiest time of his life. Dieter leans over your belly, pulling up your shirt to expose your bump, placing a soft kiss there.

“I love you,” he breathes out, his voice cracking before trying to get a grip on his emotions. 

“Babe?” You ask, concern lacing your voice as you reach for him, “What’s wrong?”

“Missed you,” he says, kissing your bump again, “Both of you.”

“Babe,” you laugh, “All we did was go to sleep.”

“Yeah,” Dieter huffs, rolling his eyes, “Just went to sleep,” he hums, lifting your shirt more to uncover your breasts, his lips placing a trail of open mouthed kisses until he meets one of your nipples, sucking it into his mouth. You let out a soft hiss as your fingers tangle in the soft waves of his hair. There’s one thing Dieter knows he can’t fuck up, sex. He’ll figure the rest out later.

You moan as he spends equal time on each of your breasts, sliding a hand down your front into your underwear. Dieter lets out a groan when he feels the wetness already collected there. He needs this, to you it was yesterday, to him it’s been six years since he’s felt you around his cock.

“I need you,” Dieter grunts, pushing you on your side, flopping down behind you and pushing his boxers down. His stiff member pushing into your ass.

“Jesus, Dee,” you giggle as he quickly pushes your underwear down enough to get to your core, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Please don’t,” he whispers into your neck, slipping his length between your folds, coating himself in your arousal. Dieter grips his dick, slowly pushing into you, simultaneous moans spilling from both of you.

“Fuck, baby,” you moan, throwing your head back against his shoulder, “So fucking big.”

Dieter pants, feeling your walls constrict around him, stopping himself when he’s fully sheathed inside of you. He doesn’t want this to end before it’s even begun.

“Oh god,” he whimpers, grabbing your hand, lacing your fingers together, “Missed this.”

“Dieter,” you pant, hips squirming against him, “I need you to move, baby.”

He nods against your head, slowly pulling out, his tongue laving against your pulse point as he sharply pushes back in.

“Fuck,” you cry out, gripping his hand tighter. He knows it’s your favorite so he keeps the same rhythm, pulling out slowly before plunging back in. He can’t stop the words flowing from his mouth as he thrusts into you. His pace grows quicker as he speaks.

“Please don’t leave me,”

“I need you,”

“I love you,”

“I won’t fuck up again,”

“I promise,”

“I love you.”

Every phrase punctuated with a sharp thrust into your wet heat, producing a moan from your lips.

“Dieter,” you moan, “I’m gonna come, baby, I’m gonna-“

Dieter can feel the fluttering of your walls, gripping you tighter he moves faster, unable to control himself any longer.

“Fuck,” Dieter groans, “Look at me, baby.”

Your head lolling against his shoulder as his hips snap into you, he grips your face turning you to face him. Slotting his lips over yours, smothering your cries as your orgasm rips through you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dieter grunts, grinding his hips into you as your walls constrict around him, warm ropes of his come painting your insides. He kisses you softly while both of you try to catch your breath.

“You okay?” You ask, eyes gazing up at him.

Dieter nods, keeping his arms wrapped around you.

“Bad dream,” he murmurs into your hair.

“I’m sorry babe,” you give him a sympathetic smile, giving him a quick kiss before moving off of him with a hiss, “Wanna go look at stuff for the nursery?”

“Hmm,” Dieter hums, wrapping his arms around you again before you can leave the bed, “Let’s stay in bed all day.”

“We just woke up,” you squeak out with a giggle, as he pulls you back against him, “Already need a nap?”

“After that workout?” He laughs, kissing your neck, “Uh… yeah!”

Dieter’s eyelids are heavy. He felt calm, more at peace than he has been for years, having you back in arms, the comforting weight of you next to him. The hint of your perfume surrounding him, causing him to quickly drift back to sleep.

- - -

“Dieter wake up!” Mark shouts, “Time to go.”

Dieter jumps, how long had he been asleep? The room is dark as Mark flings the gray curtains open allowing the sun to burst in.

“What the fuck?” Dieter groans, covering his face with the pillow next to him, blocking the sun from his eyes. His sleep-addled brain hasn’t registered what’s happened.

“Come on, man,” Mark says more sternly, grabbing the covers to pull off of Dieter, “Gotta get Peanut.”

“Peanut?” Dieter asks, flipping the pillow off his face, sitting up taking in his surroundings, “No, no, no. This isn’t right.”

He looks around at the gray bedding, the curtains, the walls. Where’s your house? He was just there, wasn’t he? Was it just a dream after all?

“Yes. Peanut,” Mark says, giving him a confused look, “Lexi, Your daughter.”

“I know who Peanut is, Mark.” Dieter snaps, “But she won’t let me see her.”

“Dieter,” Mark scolds, “Do not tell me you've been using again.”

“What? No!”

“You’ve had your daughter every other week for years now.” Mark explains, “Are you sure you're not using anything?”

“You mean, I have custody?” Dieter asks, beginning to choke up, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. 

Whatever Willow did, it worked, well kind of. If Dieter had some sort of custody of Lexi that means he must have changed something going back in time.

“I gotta go see Willow.”

“Willow?” Mark asks, shaking his head, “Dieter, you don’t have time to go on some wild goose chase looking for whoever it is you’re talking about.”

Dieter rushes out of bed, grabbing random clothes he finds throughout his room to throw on, running down the stairs to find his crocs.

“Dieter!” Mark shouts after him.

“I gotta fix it, Mark,” Dieter yells back, finding his car keys, and opening the front door, “I gotta fix it!”

—

“Willow!” Dieter bellows, bursting into Vixen’s, “It worked! It kind of worked!”

He hears a crash a couple aisles over and a gah-damnit!, before Willow appears at the front of the shop.

“The hell you comin’ in here yellin’ about?” Willow asks, rubbing the top of her head, “You made me drop a jar of Dragon’s blood on my damn head. I do not need any more feminine power right now!”

“Sorry,” Dieter chuckles, “I think we need to do the ritual again. I have custody!” 

“Custody?” Willow asks, confused.

“Custody of my kid, Willow!” Dieter says, gripping her shoulders giving her a little shake, “All I did was fall asleep, had a crazy vivid sex dream about my girl and now I have custody! I’ve never even met my daughter!”

“Alright, alright, alright,” Willow says, wiggling out of his grip, “Don’t touch me and I don’t wanna hear about your weird sex dreams but come on back.”

He follows her through the dark hall, to her office, the white sage and mullein is lit, the tea is brewed while Willow chants the magic words. He chugs it again. The warm liquid tingled in his throat as it went down.

“Not as bad the second time,” he sputters out through a cough, “Should you make extra so I can take it home?”

“Not how it works,” Willow chuckles, “Gonna have to come see me. Door will always be open.”

“I don’t understand how this is working at all,” Dieter admits, “All I did was go to sleep?”

“Maybe in your sleep is when you’re traveling,” Willow shrugs, “I won’t lie, I’m not sure how it works either. Remember, I’m new at this.”

—

Dieter leaves Vixen’s, feeling on top of the world as he makes his way to your house. He cannot believe he’s about to see his kid for the first time, well maybe not the first time but it is for this Dieter. He pulls up to the address he found saved into his phone under your name, taking a deep breath before getting out of his car.

He makes his way to the front door. It’s a different house than the last time he showed up, hoping you’d forgive him for running off and taking forever to get his shit together. Taking a deep breath he presses the doorbell, hearing the chime inside.

“Daddy!” He hears screeched from behind the door before it opens. A little girl looks up at him with wide brown eyes and soft curls.

“You came to get me!” She exclaims, grabbing his hand with both of her little ones and pulling him through the entrance.

“Y-yeah, I did,” Dieter murmurs, unable to stop staring at the back of her head. Her hair bounces with every step she takes as she continues babbling at him about something.

“Hey Dieter,” you smile at him from the couch with a book in your hand, “She’s been super excited for you to get her this week. Thank you again for keeping her an extra week.”

“Extra week?”

“Please don’t tell me you forgot,” you groan, “Dee, you promised me you wouldn’t forget! This is super important! Joel’s taking me to meet his family.”

“Joel?” Dieter asks, clenching his jaw, fingers flexing of his free hand against his thigh. Of course, Joel is still present. 

You study his face, taking in the tension rolling off him in waves, putting your book down and getting off the couch.

“Peanut, baby,” you say in a sweet tone, “Why don’t you go upstairs and get your stuff ready so you can go have fun at Daddy’s?”

“Okay,” she chirps, climbing the steps to the second floor. Leaving the two of you alone.

“Dee?” You ask, approaching him, “You doing okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” Dieter lies with a nod of his head, “Just forgot you have plans next week.”

“Look,” you start, gripping his hand, “I know this whole thing is weird for you but I know one day you’re going to find someone to love,” Dieter’s thumb begins to rub against your fingers softly, noting the absence of a ring on your hand.

“You don’t get it,” Dieter scoffs, shaking his head, “It’s you. I want to be with you.”

“We tried Dieter,” you say, giving him a sympathetic smile, “We just aren’t meant to be.”

- - -

When he wakes next, Dieter is blinded by the brightness of the room, closing his eyes again, not ready to get up.

“Daddy,” a little voice says, poking his cheek with tiny fingers.

He groans feeling a weight on top of his chest. He can hear you humming softly downstairs in the kitchen, little fingers continue poking at his face trying to wake him.

“Peanut,” he chuckles, “Why are you poking my face?”

“Time to wake up!” She announces, standing up on chunky legs before plopping her butt back down. Dieter lets out a grunt before opening his eyes, spotting the soft yellow walls of the room. He can’t stop the smile forming on his face. He’s back to where he wants to be, this timeline seeming to be much better than the present.

“Come here,” Dieter playfully growls, tickling Lexi’s sides. Her high pitched squeals echoing throughout the house.

“Breakfast is ready!”

“Hear that Peanut?!” Dieter asks enthusiastically, “Momma made breakfast!”

“Breakfast!” Lexi shouts, throwing her arms up in the air, “I hungry!”

Dieter scoops her up as he gets out of bed, carrying the toddler with him down the stairs to the kitchen.

“Morning,” you hum, smiling at both of them, “The contractor was supposed to be here earlier but he overslept so said he’d be by soon.”

“Oh?” Dieter asks, setting Lexi down into her booster seat as if he’s done this every day, “Who’d we hire again?”

“Dieter, I swear,” you laugh, rolling your eyes, “You’d be so lost without me.”

“You have no idea,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your head as he grabs the plates of food you had set out, giving one to Lexi and sitting down next to her to eat his own.

“It’s Miller Bros,” you huff, “And no, they’re not like the Mario Brothers from Nintendo,” you add after seeing Dieter’s head perk up. You always were good about knowing what was on his mind.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Dieter asks, stabbing his fork into the eggs, “Besides the contractor coming, I mean.”

“I don’t know,” you say, shrugging. The rest of the meal went on, the scraping of silverware against plates and random chatter from Lexi the only things to be heard. It was eerie how quiet you were, Dieter stared at you as you scrolled mindlessly on your phone. He can’t pinpoint what’s going on but he feels there is something different here. Lexi finishes her breakfast, scooting off her booster and running off to watch TV.

“Is everything okay?” Dieter asks, fidgeting with the fork in his hand, he can’t risk losing you but he needs to know the answer.

“No,” you admit quietly, “I just- I don’t know what to do anymore Dee.”

“What do you m-“ he tries, the doorbell chiming interrupting his sentence.

“That must be the contractor,” you sigh, “Wanna start the dishes while I get the door?”

“Uh, yeah,” Dieter nods, “Sure.”

He gathers the dishes, rinsing each item before putting them in the dishwasher, hearing you speak with the contractor.

“I’m so sorry ma’am,” the contractor says with a gruffness in his voice, “Would’a been here earlier but my idiot brother wrote the time down wrong.”

“No worries,” you reply in a cheery tone, “You deserve the extra sleep, you work so hard.”

Dieter hears a deep chuckle from the man and a thank you, you’re too kind darlin’. It makes his stomach twist, he knows who this is. Joel fucking Miller. Can he not escape this guy?

Dieter slams the dishwasher closed, pacing throughout the kitchen. In his present time, the man is there. Now in his supposed past the man shows up too?! He wishes he could call Willow but a quick google search shows that Vixen’s doesn’t exist just yet, groaning as he tosses his phone onto the counter. What is he supposed to do?

He sees through the doorway how you look at Joel, the sparkle in your eyes, the way you seem almost bashful as Joel continues to talk about the most mundane things. Dieter can’t help the idea that’s popped into his head as he makes his way to the couch, sitting with your shared daughter as she watches cartoons.

It wouldn’t be the craziest thing he suggested, he’s Dieter Bravo. He’s definitely said worse things in interviews. He continues watching the two of you, the slight smirk on Joel’s face, the shy smile gracing your own.

Maybe if you fucked Joel you’d get it out of your system.

Dieter sees the attraction to Joel, of course he does. He’s rough, burly, and has that southern charm about him. The way his shirt hugs his biceps, his jeans clinging to his thighs. Joel clears his throat and Dieter snaps his head up, finding Joel staring directly at him, having been caught ogling he can feel his face turning a shade darker. You smile at Dieter, covering your mouth while a giggle escapes your lips.

“I’m gonna get started on the bathroom,” Joel says, eyeing Dieter on the couch, “Don’t let me interrupt your morning, Hollywood,” he adds with a wink.

You make your way to the couch, curling into Dieter’s side.

“So,” you giggle, with that sparkle still in your eyes, “Joel, huh?”

“Joel,” Dieter smirks, wrapping his arm around you, nodding his head. He brings you closer to his side, kissing your temple, before he scoops Lexi into his other side, keeping both his girls close to him.

- - -

“Dieter,” Mark says, giving Dieter’s shoulder a shove, “Need to wake up, you’re home.”

“Home?” Dieter grumbles, scrubbing his hands down his face, he feels metal on one of his fingers. Eyes popping open, he spots a band on his left hand. Married. He’s married?

“Yeah, home,” Mark chuckles, “And don’t worry. I took care of everything so the three of you could spend some time together for the next couple days.”

Dieter grins, saying your name out loud quizzically, he needs to make sure it worked this time. Mark nods, he gets to spend time with his girls. His girls. Dieter hops out of the car, grabbing the duffle bag from the backseat.

“Thanks for the ride Mark,” he hollers as he makes his way to his front door, shaking with nerves as he stands there. Taking a deep breath he opens the door to find the house covered in darkness, flipping on the light he takes in the room before him. Toys, books, and small shoes scattered around. His smile grows wider as he hears a noise from upstairs.

You must be upstairs waiting for him. Dieter sets his duffle bag down next to the door before flinging his crocs off on his way up the stairs. The door of the master bedroom is opened by a jar and he can hear grunts coming from within.

Fuck, Dieter thinks, manly grunts can only mean one thing.

He tiptoes to the door opening it more, seeing you naked on your knees before Joel. His thick cock in your mouth as you bob your head faster along his length.

“S’it baby,” Joel groans, throwing his head back as you take more of him down your throat, “So fucking good at that.”

You’re moaning as he grips your head, holding you on his cock.

“Fuck,” Dieter whispers, feeling his dick twitch with interest, watching you gag on Joel’s length. Joel’s head snaps towards the doorway.

“Ya just gonna stand there Hollywood or ya gon’ join?” Joel smirks, eyeing Dieter up and down, “We’ve missed you.”

You moan, pulling off Joel's cock with a soft pop, twisting your body to see Dieter.

“Hi baby,” you purr at him, “Glad that you’re home.”

Dieter stands there frozen, watching you stroke Joel’s shaft with a sly grin.

This present time is nice, Dieter thinks with a smirk on his face, I can live with this.

[creedslove]

BETRAYED - PART FIVE

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: Pedro invites you to be his plus one for the night but his attention is caught by another woman and leaves you with a broken heart

Warnings: angst, age gap, established friendship, unrequited love/one sided feelings, fluff, glimpse of Pedro being a great (silly) dad, and more angst of course

A/N: I really don't know what you guys will think of this part. It is longer than the others and for those who don't want Pedro to be forgiven, you can consider this the ideal end, though this is NOT the last chapter. I still have some ideas for this story but their development will go according to what you guys want, especially because due to all the feedback I've received over the last week (yes today marks one week I posted the first chapter) things are pretty divided between who wants a happy ending and who wants a sad one, lol!

A/N Part 2: I still can't manually tag people on the works because I use the app and it won't let me do it, that's why I don't have a tag list at all!

3.2k words

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

Your heart clenched the moment you heard Kate's words. Pedro was there. After months pretending not to know each other, after not seeing him nor listening to his voice, months after the horrible argument you two had, where you both said horrible things to each other, words that hurt you two deeply, but also needed to be said. So you two could break free from what was holding you back. You and your mindless passion for Pedro, and him and his incapability of letting you go.

You realized you went silent for several seconds and Kate was staring at you with a worried look on her face, so you gave her a nervous smile and nodded "there's no problem, really. We are not making a scene or anything, I mean, we didn't have that much of a fight, it wasn't that serious"

"Yes, it was, Y/N" Kate said in a low voice "you completely fell out with each other, you have never been apart from long and honestly, he seems the saddest I've ever seen, and you don't seem like you're in a picnic either" she placed her hand on your shoulder reassuringly and looked down, excusing herself as she needed to attend the other guests.

You didn't like to be read like that, yes, you missed Pedro, in many ways you were still broken hearted at everything that went on, it's very hard to just let go of a person you were so invested in for years. It leaves an empty spot in your chest, even when you get over whatever happened, your mind always comes back to a bunch of might-have-beens. And though you and Pedro hadn't been away for that long, that's exactly how it felt. You walked out the kitchen and realized you were getting anxious to see him. He was there, it was a stated fact. It wasn't like when you went to the gym and very often looked over your shoulders, in hopes he wouldn't show up at the same time you kind of hoped he would show up. Internally battling with the relief of not running into him and also the disappointment of not seeing him. Once again, you had to remind yourself to act rationally, you didn't want to be shaken to the core when you saw him, and you definitely wouldn't make a scene at a princess' party.

When you reached the living room, he was the first one you spotted and for a few seconds he was the only thing you could see. There he was, Pedro, your dulce Pedrito like you used to call him and make a soft reddish color spread through his cheeks. He looked the same as always, the same as always made your heart race and you hated that. Your heart beat faster, your palms suddenly got a little sweaty and you were sure you'd stutter if someone asked you any question. You cursed yourself under your breath, months of self care and you still acted like a high school girl around him. The sadness Kate had seen your ass, you mentally rolled your eyes as you saw how he was still the life of the party, how he laughed and made everybody laugh. He wasn't sad, and why should he? Maybe you did hurt him in your argument, in fact you did hurt him as he left with tears in his eyes, but he probably got over you, he had done it so many times before, times where you still were friends and you loved and cared for him, so now what was stopping him from just forgetting about you?

Pedro finally eyed you, he knew you were coming and he tried his best to look good for you, he had a nice outfit on, his hair was messy like you always said you loved and God, he felt like time had stopped when he saw you walk into the living room. Hermosa, princesa, linda, mariposa, all of that crossed his mind once he saw you. He hadn't seen you in what it felt like forever, and now you were there, standing a few feet away from him. His desire was to rush to you, ignoring everyone else there, and wrapping his arms around your waist. If he could, he would let out all those Spanish words you loved roll out of his tongue before he could touch your skin and make you his. He chuckled to himself just to picture what you would say if you knew his heart raced when he saw you, how he wanted to take you into his arms like you had dreamed about it for so long. Life sometimes is truly a joke.

He didn't understand how you managed to become more beautiful since the last time you saw each other but you did it, and he couldn't take his eyes off you. He had no idea if you'd even want to talk to him, give him some of your time, but he was going to try.

Before you could greet everyone who was sitting closer than him, Flora and her big brother came running to you. If someone thought Flora was sweet, they hadn't met her brother yet. Wyatt was a five year old who seemed to be obsessed with you. Out of all his mommy's friends you were definitely his favorite. He was sweet to you like he was with no one else, and the fact he still had some trouble pronouncing his 'R' made him even cuter to you.

He immediately jumped onto your lap, snuggling you as tight as he could, he was overly excited at the sweets he'd eaten and the fact some people who brought his little sister presents also brought him presents!

Pedro's heart dropped to his stomach the moment he saw you surrounded by Flora and Wyatt. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to watch that, but he couldn't look away either. It all brought him back to the dreams he constantly had about you, the dreams where he always got to a happy, crowded home, where you were his and only his, in all the ways you dreamed of for long and now he longed for it as well and you two had built a beautiful family. He was always happy in these dreams, only to feel empty when he woke up.

One of the things he always loved about you and that one he made pretty clear throughout your entire friendship, was how good with kids you were. Of course Pedro had earned the cool uncle status, but he just admired how natural you were, how kids simply wanted you to be around them and how happy you got with that. It quickly drove him back to the night of your argument, and how you threw it on his face he was nearly 50 without a family. Yes, he knew you were right, but it still hurt him anyway. When he was younger, he wasn't sure if he was going for the traditional stuff but he assumed good old marriage and kids would happen to him, after all it happened to everyone. But as the years went by, he just focused on his career and he was pretty happy that way, apart from all the loneliness he felt, loneliness that was soothed by your company during the day and some other female company at night, sometimes even more than one at the same time. Until those stupid dreams began, every single night he would have a family with you and love every single part of it just to be taken back to reality where he was alone and all he got was his career.

"Did you really think I'd forget about you?" You whispered to Wyatt as you very discreetly handed him a small basket with his favorite chocolate. You didn't have enough for all the kids, so you hoped he wouldn't make a big fuss about it, but the moment he squealed in happiness and hugged you, you felt so lucky to be there. You quickly helped him open his present and watched as he ate one piece after the other. Kate would probably kill you the next day, but you didn't care at all, seeing his true happiness.

"Pedwo, come play please!!" He asked the man, waving his hand at him and inviting him to the empty seat next to you. You saw when he smiled at Wyatt and moved closer to you. His cologne was intoxicating and for a moment all you wanted to do was to rest your head on his shoulder and have his arm around your body.

"These are my favorite too, you gotta share" he frowned playfully at Wyatt and looked at you

"Hey Y/N" he said shyly and looked down clearing his throat before looking into her eyes again "you look very beautiful, muy hermosa como siempre" he said and saw the familiar blush spreading through your cheeks adding a cute look to your face. You still reacted the same, maybe you were still his muñequita?

"Hi Pedro" you said softly and smiled politely at him.

"Come on Pedwo do the voice!!! Do it again, fow Y/N to see!!" Wyatt begged excitedly and pointed at his brand new Grogu doll. Once again you felt the urge to roll your eyes mentally, of course that was Pedro's doing and it was so predictable. Cute, but predictable. The little boy however, was mesmerized as once more Pedro sat up and made his Mandalorian voice. You didn't know exactly how it was different from his regular voice, but it was and you couldn't explain. He said whatever Wyatt liked to hear and gently tapped the doll's head, making Grogu cooed and blink his eyes, lifting his little arm gently which caused Wyatt to squeal in happiness again.

You both felt pretty good at that, no matter what happened between you two, you were really good at handling kids together and your chest ached to wonder if the same would apply if you ever had children together.

•••

After singing Happy Birthday and serving the cake, Rob, Kate's husband, asked his kids to go to the backyard. Pedro grinned at the interaction and placed his plate down, taking your hand in his and pulling you "come on Y/N, you'll want to see this" he said happily and you had no other reaction than follow him. The kids were so excited when their daddy asked them to close their little eyes. They peeked all the time, not being able to hold back how eager they wanted to see the surprise. Pedro looked at you and smiled sweetly "I don't mean to brag, but it was my idea, so you're not the only one who is great with kids, you know" he winked at her.

You swallowed and looked down at your hands, fingers entwined and how softly Pedro caressed your hand with his thumb. You immediately let go of his hand and blushed, which wasn't unnoticed by him, who sighed and stared into your eyes "I know you're still hurt about everything that went on and we need to talk, I owe you an apology for what happened and-"

Pedro was cut off by the kids' screams of happiness and pure excitement when their daddy revealed their mysterious present: a bunny. A real life bunny, you stared into Pedro eyes and chuckled "that was your idea, right?" You asked and couldn't help but smile a little "I bet Kate is thrilled" you both burst out laughing and for a moment everything was alright between the two of you again.

He only laughed softly but gently took your hand in his once more, walking towards some trees, away from the fuss the kids were making and once you were both hidden enough from anyone else who might bother you, he finally gathered the courage to speak.

"I screw everything up with you, Y/N. I know I did, in fact I knew it from the moment it happened but I was too proud and stubborn to admit it" he sighed "and then it all got worse and worse until that horrible episode at your place. I deeply regret everything that went on" Pedro looked down, and then back at you again, being puzzled by how indecipherable your expression was. You watched him apologize without really apologizing, you just hated how he asked for your forgiveness without acknowledging anything at all.

"The reason why I didn't want to talk to you anymore was because I'm tired of being your doormat, Pedro. You know how much I love you" you bit your lips "how much I loved you" you corrected yourself and continued "but you only took advantage of it, and you know it. You know how many times you've hurt me, how many times you flirted with me, you kissed me almost on the lips, you sweet talked to me, the times you had your hands on my body not in an erotic way but definitely more intimate than a friend should ever do, you know how confused it left me, and you kept doing it"

Pedro knew it was all true, but he had decided to ask for your forgiveness and to be honest, he looked around embarrassed and nodded

"I-I know that, Y/N. I know I was a real shitty friend, always teasing you, playing with your feelings… I am really ashamed of it and if I could turn back in time, I'd never act that way. I had only one glimpse of what you must've felt all this time… when I saw you with that guy from the gym and it felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces"

You had to admit you were not expecting that, at first you thought it would be just some more of his usual bullshit, but it seemed Pedro really meant what he was telling you.

"And I know the last straw was that night at the gala. It should've been about us, after all, you were my plus one because I wanted to have you there, and I loved every minute we spent together, you looked gorgeous, muy hermosa mi cariño, but then I was just terrible to you. I don't know why I left with that woman, I mean, I don't know why I just gave in to that impulse and I know I tried brushing off as if you were exaggerating but these past months I was finally able to be true to myself and admit you were right. I was a dick, I not only humiliated you and broke your heart but also put you at risk by letting you go home on your way"

His voice had a sad tone and he didn't look away for a split second, showing he meant all that.

You began tearing up, as those were the words you waited months to hear. You wanted him to apologize, to admit what he'd done and now it had finally happened, you couldn't help but feel sad as it came too late.

"Pedro, I-"

"Please, Y/N, let me finish" he asked and took another breath "that day at your house was completely unacceptable, I know it, and we both hurt each other, I snapped because I saw you with another man and told you to leave me alone, and I didn't understand why I had such a childish and reckless attitude, until I realized I didn't know how to act on my feelings for you, which takes me to the very painful words you told me, which unfortunately, were also true. I left that night hating myself, I didn't know what to do or what to say, so I looked for help, I went back to therapy and I was able to see all the things I was doing wrong"

You saw when he took a step closer and you could smell his cologne, you had no idea what he was going to do, but your heart pounded into your chest as his big hands cupped your cheeks so gently, stroking them and staring into your eyes "and after all that self-analysis I came to the conclusion that I love you" he bit his lips and a light blush spread through your cheeks "I mean, I already did, as a friend, even if I was a dick, I truly loved and cared about you, but it changed, Y/N, it got more intense, you're the only thing that crosses my mind the whole day, the only one I want and crave, all I can think of is your body against mine, your beautiful voice singing while you make breakfast, the way you light up a room when you step inside, how the kids love you because they see how incredible you are" Pedro took another deep breath "I'm in love with you, Y/N" he finally admitted out loud and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He leaned in and touched your lips with his very softly at first, ghosting over them, appreciating how perfect they felt against each other. One of his hands went for your waist, wrapping his arm around it and gripping your body in a desperate need. He was so close you could feel his strong chest against your soft breasts, so pressed up against his body it was really hard to remind yourself that wasn't right. The moment you felt the man deepening the kiss, you couldn't hold back a soft moan. You decided to enjoy that moment, something you'd craved for so long, it almost felt like your heart was bursting out of your chest. Your hands gripped his hair, pulling it softly as you kissed him back as eager as he kissed you. You felt like you could be trapped in that moment forever with him, it felt right, even if it was wrong.

When Pedro broke the kiss looking for some air, you still gave him a last peck on the lips, gently stroking his cheek and taking a step back.

"Wow" you whispered and smiled shyly "I've dreamed about that moment for so long. God knows how much I daydreamed that one day this exact scene would happen, now it did, it feels unreal" you looked at him and took his hand, gently squeezing it "and that's why it breaks my heart to see it happened too late. I'm sorry Pedro, but we can't do this. I'm really sorry that I don't believe you, I don't think you love me, I think you love the fact I was in love with you and that stroke your ego like nothing else, I was young, devoted, I would do anything for you and would take anything you had to offer, but we can't do this anymore. I can't do this to myself, I love myself more than I love you now, and I won't let anyone get in the way of that, not even you" she said and let go of his hand "I'll always love you and cherish you Pedro, but it's time to say goodbye"

_____

A/N: any feedbacks, let me know! Also, you guys have just met Wyatt! He is pretty much my OC and for the years I wrote for/roleplayed Victor Creed/Liev Schreiber he was always my character's son, and I developed an emotional connection with him even if he is not real, so I thought to myself, why not show the world what a ray of sunshine my fictional son is, right?

And yes, the bunny thing I got from Narcos because I thought Pablo Escobar had no right to be that cute while gifting his daughter a bunny, the way she got happy when he gave her su conejito just made me go all aww 🥰

[upat4amwiththemoon]

OH LORD I HAVE A REQUEST

What do you think of this

Wanda or Natasha over hear a conversation between r and a friend that she's having over, speaking about a new teacher who apparently look like a sweetheart and hears r saying she has a crush on this woman

I just love how you write so I'll let you handle everything else, just giving you the big idea yknow 👀

Innocent crush

Summary: Everyone has that one teacher.

Pairing: WandaNat x daughter!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 677

a/n: I have a confession to make..I never had a crush on a teacher

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore @emsmultiverse @natashamaximoff69

masterlists | guidelines

“No, you don’t get it, she’s such a sweetheart.” Y/N groans, flopping down to the bed. “And she’s so fricking hot.”

Kate laughs, laying next to Y/N. Despite being in the same school, she has actually never had classes with the teacher her friend is currently crushing on. “I’m sure she is.”

With a dreamy sigh, she stares at the roof. “I might be delusional, but I’m pretty sure she pays more attention to me than the rest of the class.”

“Oh, totally not delusional.”

“I know right!” Y/N raises to lean on one of her elbows. “She keeps staring at me.”

“My math teacher keeps ranting about his divorce to us.”

When the conversation changes and the two girls’ laughter can be heard through the door, Wanda sneaks off to the living room with a fruit plate in her hand. She’s not one to eavesdrop, usually, but her daughter just happened to be talking about a crush when she was going to bring them snacks.

She sets the plate down to the table and sits next to Natasha on the couch, taking her attention off of the book she’s reading. “Y/N has a crush.”

“Oh?” Putting the book down, Natasha turns to Wanda with raised brows.

“On the new teacher she has.” She states. “She said she is fricking hot.”

Natasha chuckles, “is she still too scared to curse?”

“Yes, and rightly so.”

“You curse like a sailor.”

Mumbling off the accusation, Wanda turns back to the matter in hand. “Our daughter has a crush on an older woman.”

“I’m sure it’s fine. Isn’t it normal for students to have crushes on teachers?” Wanda shrugs. Neither of the women had a normal upbringing, nor crushes on teachers, considering school wasn’t a bog part of their lives. “As long as the teacher doesn’t do anything inappropriate, everything should be okay.”

“Shouldn’t we still talk about it to her?”

“Then she’d know you were eavesdropping.

“I wasn’t-“ Wanda sighs and rolls her eyes, not trying to argue against the accusation, “we’ll just have to find a way to be subtle about it.”

Unfortunately, subtlety wasn’t the ex-Avengers’ strength when it came to their daughter.

“So,” Wanda starts as they’re eating dinner together, “any new crushes?” She asks with a seemingly innocent smile on her face.

“No.”

Humming, Wanda stares at her daughter. Y/N pays no mind to it, continuing eating in silence, while Natasha hides her grin by taking a sip of her drink. “How’s the new teacher? She any good?”

“Yeah, she’s alright.”

“Is she good looking?”

Now Y/N lifts her head to look at Wanda, her brows are scrunched together. “That’s weird, mom.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah.” Natasha comments with a laugh, ignoring the look her wife sends her.

Setting down her fork, Wanda lets her hands lay on the table. “I was just wondering, you know, if she was your type, or anything like that.”

Y/N squints her eyes, staring at Wanda. “You were eavesdropping me and Kate.” She states, annoyed her mom can’t stop meddling into her things.

She huffs, “it wasn’t eavesdropping. I was bringing you two snacks and overheard your conversation.”

“We never got any snacks.”

“Well, I left after I had the conversation.” She mumbles, picking up her fork again so she wouldn’t have to see the annoyed look on her daughter’s face. “It really isn’t my fault when you talk so loudly.”

“Mom!”

“I’m sorry. I just want to make sure, that nothing…inappropriate is going on.”

“Gross, mom.” Y/N pushes her almost empty plate away. “It’s just a crush, I’m not sending her nude pictures or anything like that.”

Natasha gives her a look, “you better not be sending any nudes to anyone.”

With a groan, Y/N stands up. “I am not sending nudes to anyone. Remind me to tell Kate I’ll start hanging out at her house from now on.” She walks away from the table.

“Now I’m worried about the nudes.” Wanda mumbles.

“We should check her phone, right?”

“Yeah.”

[noturlondonboy]

If Kate + Kate Makes Two… (Prt. 3)

-Bishova/Kate Bishop Selfcest Miniseries

Requested by @selfcestmovies

Masterlist

Pairing: Kate Bishop x Yelena Belova x Kate Bishop

Summary: The unlikely trio returns back to Past Kate’s apartment, where some odd, unforeseen chemistry builds when Yelena is attempting to make macaroni.

Warnings/tags: touches of angst, hints of Kate x Kate, silly lesbians being gay, not proof read, idk what to put really

A/N: part 3! Took me long enough… either way enjoy and share your thoughts <33

Kate is barely aware of two different pairs of hands gently tugging her away from Dr. Strange’s sanctum, one pair familiar, one pair even more so. The freezing January air is cold and dark on her face and in her eyes, but she suddenly feels much too warm, and without much thinking, she unzips her coat and pulls it from her body. There are a few protests that don’t register in her ears, but ultimately, neither Yelena or Other Kate stop her.

Kate trudges ahead of them in a daze, her feet dragging on the pavement as she weaves aimlessly through the late night New York crowds on the sidewalk. Wanda’s voice rings over and over in her head, stuffing her ears painfully with cotton.

We don’t know if we can get you back.

She rubs tiredly at her face, lips pulling into a frown. There was too much to think about. Too much to consider.

From behind her, Yelena and Other Kate watch apprehensively, the archer eerily silent and the assassin quietly contemplative. Yelena lets her gaze drift between the two women. She feels a bit lost in thought, and more than anything, unsure of what to do next.

Wanda’s assurances of her and Strange working to find a solution for their current predicament had been half-hearted at best, and the poorly hidden worried look on the witch’s face left an aftertaste of anxiety in Yelena’s mouth. The entire situation was so strange, and this older Kate Bishop may not be the one she was dating, but still- it hurt to see her struggling like this.

“So…” Kate says from beside her, kicking at a few rocks as they walk with her hand stuffed in her pockets. “We probably need to figure out where she’s gonna stay.”

Yelena nods absently, her fingers tangling with her girlfriend’s. “Yeah. I guess she would probably be most comfortable in her own- in your apartment, yes?”

Kate’s lips pull into a small frown as she takes Yelena’s hand. “Yeah, probably.”

They silently watch older Kate trudge along in front of them, her pace lost and uneven as her head hangs down.

“I cannot even begin to understand how weird this must be for her,” the blonde murmurs, tilting her chin softly.

“Yeah, I’m feeling pretty thrown off too, and I’m still where I’m supposed to be.”

Yelena hums a soft breath, her mind distant the entire walk back to Kate’s apartment. When they arrive at the door, older Kate stares at it for a moment before her unfocused gaze turns to them, and she backs up a few steps.

Kate fumbles for her keys for a moment before pushing the door to the apartment open and leading them inside, and she and Yelena kick their shoes off and hang up jackets. Older Kate stays where is, just barely within the threshold of the apartment, her coat hanging limply in her arms as she stares blankly at the floor.

Kate and Yelena share a silent look for a moment before the archer approaches quietly, pushing away the unease that was still settled in her gut at seeing her own face in front of her without a mirror- albeit a tad more weathered, a few scrapes and bruises here and there, some piercings she didn’t have yet, and longer hair. But this was still her- her own self, her own body, her own mind.

And she- they?- were rightfully freaking out.

“Kate?”

Older Kate’s eyes snap up to meet hers, and once again, the strange feeling of having an identical gaze looking back at her washes just underneath her skin.

“I would ask if you’re okay but-”

“-that would be a silly question,” Older Kate finishes for her.

Kate gives a weak grin and nods, biting back a joke about finishing each other’s sentences. Older Kate is doing the same.

“Okay, well… you probably need to eat something, yeah? We didn’t have breakfast and I have no idea when you last had food before you… came here.”

Older Kate is silent for a moment, a muscle in her jaw ticking as she swallows. Kate finds her eyes following the movement, a strange feeling in her gut before she tears her gaze away and sees herself staring back with an unreadable expression.

It’s silent in the apartment for a moment, only broken by Yelena shuffling around in the main room somewhere behind them. Eventually Older Kate nods, the movement tense and small.

Kate clears her throat and takes a step back, not remembering when they had gotten so close. Her socked feet shuffle for a moment, and she stares down at them, counting the puppies decorating her toes to help calm herself before she looks back up and steadies the smile back onto her face.

“Okie dokie then, uh, righto!”

RIGHTO? Girl what the fuck?!

Older Kate giggles at the same time that Kate cringes outwardly, a flush on both their cheeks.

“Okay! Moving on!” Kate is quick to clap her hands and whirl back around to face her girlfriend, who is looking equal parts amused and concerned, and the strange feeling in her stomach finally fades as she creates some distance between herself and… herself.

“Let me guess- macaroni?” Yelena says softly, a kind smile on her beautiful face as she continues to tidy up the apartment and pick up all the dog toys that had someone become a mess even with the animals themselves with Clint for the week.

Something in Kate’s chest eases at the suggestion, and she nods eagerly, turning back to Older Kate to see her reaction. The other archer is smiling weakly, her eyes still a little dazed but overall looking more grounded. “That would be amazing, thank you.”

They work quickly after that, Yelena making Older Kate rest on the couch as Kate starts the water pot boiling on the stove. Yelena takes over quickly from there, not trusting the archer to even properly boil water, but Kate can’t even fight her on that point, because it’s valid and founded on truth.

She instead does her part by wrapping her lithe arms around Yelena’s waist carefully, enjoying the catch in her girlfriend’s breath as she rests her cheek on the back of her neck, her breath warm and gently ruffling the golden baby hairs on her nape. “This okay?” Kate asks quietly, swaying slowly.

“Yes, this is more than okay,” is Yelena’s gentle response, her cheeks blazing and eyes focused on the noodles in front of her. This relationship was still rather new to them, and understandably, the assassin wasn’t exactly used to touches that were gentle and loving opposed to the harsh beating a baton could bring.

Kate hums softly and nuzzles into the warm skin of Yelena’s neck, content to be close and enjoy the quiet after the turbulence of the past 24 hours.

Not even a few moments later, there are soft footsteps from behind them, and Older Kate is suddenly there, her warmth on Kate’s back and her palms on the archer’s hands where they rest tentatively on Yelena’s stomach. “If you really wanna see her blush,” Older Kate murmurs gently, her breath hot on both Kate and Yelena’s cheeks, “then you gotta just, kinda…”

She’s gentle as she maneuvers Kate’s hands a little lower down the assassin’s abdomen, settling them just a little under where her belly button is. She curls Kate’s fingers down so that the archer is effectively pressing her hands into the soft tissue of Yelena’s gut, and the noise that sounds in her girlfriend’s throat makes her nearly dizzy.

They’re both stock-still as Older Kate finishes maneuvering her younger self, and Kate is so transfixed by the warm body pressed so close behind her that she doesn’t think to move her hands away from where they’ve been placed in the scenario that Yelena is made uncomfortable by it. Except, hadn’t Older Kate said… what was it? Really make her blush?

Kate comes back into herself just enough to peer at her girlfriend, and the blush coating Yelena’s face is bright and hot enough to radiate from her skin. A sense of cocky self-satisfaction settles into her chest, but it’s quickly replaced with her own flustered bewilderment when Older Kate ghosts a gentle hand over the right side of Yelena’s neck. Her eyes are focused for the first time since they got back to the apartment, and she carefully watches Yelena’s face as if trying to gauge her reactions as her touch moves over her skin. “And, if you…”

Kate watches silently, her eyes wide, lips parted, and that strange feeling bubbling back up in her stomach as Older Kate reaches a spot on the junction on Yelena’s neck and shoulder that makes the blonde stiffen even further, her lips quivering. That makes Older Kate smile almost wolfishly, and it feels like an out-of-body experience when the archer gently rests her palm on the back of Kate’s head to guide her closer to the assassin’s neck.

“See that cute little freckle right there?”

Kate nods almost numbly, every ounce of control focused on not melting under the older woman’s touch, even though it’s not even directed at her. She sees what she’s talking about- a small freckle that graces Yelena’s skin above the edge of her clavicle, one of many.

“If you kiss right there, she’ll react so nicely.” The older archer’s voice is almost a low rumble, her tone holding a teasing quality that makes both Kate and Yelena weak in the knees. Yelena, because she was not used to any version of Kate Bishop talking even in her general direction like that, and Kate, because- because…?

”How do you…?” Kate starts, but she stops herself quickly, already knowing the answer to her unfinished question. Of course this Older Kate would know what made Yelena tick- she had been dating the assassin much longer than her younger self at her own point in time.

Older Kate says nothing, but her eyes are imploring, and because it’s her own gaze staring right back at her, Kate knows exactly what she’s silently telling her.

“Yelena…?” she whispers softly, her lips pressed to the assassin’s ear. The woman is still trembling slightly, heat coursing through her body from the overwhelming sensation of two fucking Kate Bishops. Right there. Pressed up against her. Oh my fucking god.

“It's okay,” she responds back, her voice tight and embarrassingly high pitched. “You can.”

Older Kate’s hand is still resting on the back of Kate’s head, whether she even realizes it or not, and it’s doing weird things to her body. She takes a moment to just breathe before carefully pressing her lips to Yelena’s neck, right over the blemish on her skin, and the blonde’s reaction is instantaneous.

Her head tips back slightly, her bottom lip pressed sharply between her teeth and her eyes fluttered shut. Kate is emboldened, kissing a little harder, and she likely would’ve kept going had the pot not chosen that exact moment to boil over and splatter scalding water over the stove.

All three of them yelp and jump back, and while Yelena distracts herself from the heat in her stomach by tutting and taking care of the mess, Older Kate seems to fully realize how close she had been to the two women who actually belonged in this reality, and she heads back to the couch, shaking out her hand with burning cheeks. Kate watches her go with a slack jaw and dazed eyes, unsure of what to do about the thoughts swirling in the base of her skull.

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[emotionallychargedtowel]

shuffled (sort of)

I was tagged for this by @lurkingshan and it looked like fun, so I made up a way to participate even though I don't listen to music on any of those services that people tend to use for these things. The closest I get is listening to things on youtube so I made a list of songs the YT algorithm suggested to me. That list was a bit long so I used a random number generator to pick ten. Well, I really hit paydirt. I couldn't have come up with a better list if I had chosen it all myself.

And then weeks went by and I sat on this nearly-finished post for no good reason! Now I'm dusting it off and getting it out of my drafts.

I'm never big on tagging people on these things, it makes me incredibly anxious. But after this much time has passed, I really can't imagine doing it. That said, if anyone reads this and feels inspired to do it too, please consider yourself tagged.

Orange Juice - I Can’t Help Myself

One of the best tracks on my favorite Orange Juice album. This is a really good distillation of their sound that shows their influences really clearly (postpunk, classic soul, the Velvet Underground, Chic, the Buzzcocks, etc. etc.) while showing how they did something with them that's completely their own. It doesn't hurt that no one sounds quite like Edwyn Collins.

SZA - Ghost in the Machine

For a couple of years now I've been trading song recommendations with a close friend of mine. In other words, we take turns giving each other a song to listen to. It's been great, in part because our tastes are pretty danged different (though with enough overlap to have common ground). I've found out about a lot of amazing stuff through her but I don't think there's a song that has stuck with me more from this project than Ghost in the Machine. This song just keeps giving me goosebumps after...it's been a year and change, I think.

Taemin - Criminal

Years ago I asked my old internet friend Kate (who I've been interacting with since our livejournal days) about kpop. She has always been better than I am at keeping up with new music and I knew she knew a thing or two about it. She gave me a short list of songs to check out and Criminal was on it. It didn't quite click at first but it stuck in my brain somehow. I came back to it later and boom. It clicked big time. It reminds me of a few things. The la-la-la part definitely has a debt to Kylie Minogue's Can't Get You Out of My Head and the lead-up to the chorus reminds me of Roy Orbison's I Drove All Night. It has a retro quality that probably makes it more palatable to a middle-aged listener like myself but when I hear the synthpop tones of my childhood through a contemporary filter I don't get nostalgia so much as a distorted time-warp feeling (in a nice way).

Brave Girls - We Ride

A while back I was emailing back and forth with another friend of mine who I talk to about music a lot--wow, I didn't know that was going to be such a theme here, but I love it--and we were talking about new and old East Asian pop genres. He made me a list of a few recent kpop and jpop songs that he thought were reminiscent of city pop, an 80s genre out of Japan that's a favorite of his. There were quite a few winners on that list but this song is the one I've listened to the most. There's another theme: sounds from my formative years filtered through a contemporary lens. I can see why my friend associated it with city pop. The combination of disco/funk elements (like that choppy Nile Rodgers guitar part) and soft pop (the harmonies, the synth strings) fits right into that category. These elements were everywhere when I was a kid but they didn't get put together in this way.

Tsunami - Be Like That

This song about a has-been ex-boyfriend is more relatable to me in my 40s than it was when I first heard it in my 20s, but that's how old Jenny Toomey was when she wrote it. I've never gotten super into Tsunami despite liking a couple of their songs quite a lot (this one, and Valentine, from their album Deep End). I should probably revisit them. They always had a way with washy guitars and interesting chords, and Jenny Toomey's voice is legendary for a reason. (The version of I Only Have Eyes for You that she recorded with Grenadine, her side project with Mark Robinson from Unrest and the drummer from the Eggs, makes really good use of that voice. It's fucking exquisite and literally gives me goosebumps.)

Spoon - Me and the Bean

This one's a bit personal. I was active in the indie rock scene in Austin in the early 'aughts when Spoon was transitioning from their status as a cautionary tale of major label abandonment* into the period where they reached greater heights on an indie than that major label ever would have allowed. That scene wasn't very big so it's not surprising that in addition to Girls Can Tell-era Spoon being nearly omnipresent for a period of my life, I also have some personal connections there. Anyway, people seldom notice that this song is a cover. I never saw the Sidehackers, the band who originally performed the song (I'm not sure if they even managed to record it). But if this song ends up being what people remember most about them, it would make a respectable legacy. I don't know the later Spoon stuff as well as this era, but back then, there weren't a lot of Spoon originals that were as overtly emotional as this one. (You didn't typically hear a line like "I have your blood inside my heart" in an original Spoon song.) Britt Daniel may not have written this, but he doesn't hold back in his performance. So I always appreciated how it balanced out the more emotionally reserved style of the other songs on Girls Can Tell.

*They channeled the experience into songwriting to good effect. "The Agony of Lafitte," about the A&R guy that signed them to Elektra before the label screwed them over, is probably my favorite Spoon song.

the Chills - Pink Frost

I feel like so much has been written about this song that there isn't much point trying to say anything about it. It has a truly important place in the history of New Zealand indie music, and the events surrounding it are pretty interesting. But mostly it's just a really well-crafted piece of dark, sneakily poppy post-postpunk. Among people my age with similar tastes to mine, I can't think of a song that ended up on more mixtapes. (Though a friend of mine always used to say he regretted that he couldn't really put it on mixtapes for girls he was interested in because of the whole murdered girlfriend aspect of it.)

Veronica Falls - Misery

This song is obscenely catchy. It only takes one listen to get me singing it to myself in the kitchen for months. It's pretty fun to sing to oneself, in the kitchen or otherwise, but I'm sure it would be a million times more so if you could reproduce the harmonies with a partner. Veronica Falls really are unparalleled in the harmony department, and it's even more enjoyable because they usually use those pretty harmonies to sing about morbid, depressing things. And that juxtaposition never feels like a schtick to me, which it easily could in the wrong hands.

Bolbbalgan4 - Dream

I've gotten into quite a few songs because they were featured on kdramas, but this is the only song where it happened the other way around—I liked it first, then watched Hwarang because of it. There was a video for it on youtube with clips from the series and the song made the show seem more interesting. Not to imply anything negative about the series, I think there's a lot to be said for it. But it was this song that made me want to watch it. I love this kind of super emotional kpop song that's so plentiful in kdramas. Maybe it's because during the decades when rock music was de facto banned in South Korea the country's dominant genre was the ballad. Maybe it's because of that particular brand of despair that kdramas excel at so much, coming up in a slightly different setting. This type of song is just more emotional in a certain way that any other genre I've run across. And this particularly example is, to my mind, the pièce de résistance.

Shearwater - Breaking the Yearlings

This is one of the highlights of Animal Life, which is my favorite Shearwater album. It took me a while to warm up to Shearwater. The thing that really sold me on them was going on a whim to see Jonathan Meiburg play a solo acoustic set in front of a tiny audience at the Cactus Cafe. I think maybe some friends of mine opened for him or something, because something must have gotten me in the door. I ended up being really glad I went. Meiburg's set was downright mesmerizing, and I was sold on Shearwater from that point on. This particular song gets in my head a lot because the washing machine in my building puts out this one repetitive tone when you're starting a load of clothes that is really close to the opening notes of this song.

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

Hi! choose violence ask game! 9, 12, 17, 20, and 23 😄

Hi! Thanks so much!!

9. worst part of canon

Will's downward spiral into a jerk. I liked him! (still do) Especially in seasons 1 and 2!

But all of the sudden he became such a jerk towards Helen, kind of possessive towards Abby's position in his life, and it's like whyyyyyyyyy. Why did you have to go and ruin him? I loved him as the gentle guide for the audience into the abnormal world and then he became that.

And then we only got a little bit of the good Will back right at the end because the show got cancelled. :(

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Ranna Seneschal! (I basically own her tumblr tag at this point 😆)

I know, I know she had very limited screentime and stuff.

But. Here's why more people should like her.

She's another character like Helen! She's a tough, hard-ass, no-nonsense woman in charge of a massive abnormal and human society! She's bonded to a hyper-species abnormal that is responsible for stopping both Hollow Earth and the surface from being destroyed!

She's an excellent counterpoint and mirror to Helen and there is so much that could be explored with her character. She clearly has emotional and moral complexities and depth (her feelings about Gregory's betrayal, going behind the Senate's back to revive everyone to save Kanaan and everyone else, embedding a hidden message to let Helen save Will when she wasn't supposed to).

I could probably go on, but those are the main reason. :)

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I feel like there should be more Sanctuary fanart in general. 😆

I'm not really sure, to be honest, I guess I've never thought about it before and I can't really think of anything off the top of my head. 😅

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

Nothing for Sanctuary, really. I did find Kate and Garris's relationship kind of boring. There wasn't really anything compelling about it and I found it a boring point.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

I'm not sure if there is one? I'm pretty open to most ships, especially in Sanctuary.

Probably Helen/Abby thanks to @tinknevertalks. I didn't consider it before and I didn't think it would be interesting and I wasn't sure I liked them together, but her writing really brought me around to it.

[celiaelise]

I got caught up on the Shadows House manga! (spoilers!!! don't read this if you haven't read it :p)

(well, almost. The latest chapter hasn't yet been posted on the app I have that gives me manga in English, so I haven't read 158.)

I have SO many thoughts!! First of all, it did throw me off how the anime stuck so closely to the manga except for, like, adding an ENTIRELY NEW PLOT ARC which completely disrupted the timelines of when certain things were revealed to the characters. Like, if I remember correctly, the main characters in the manga still haven't ever infiltrated Grandfather's house, Kate only used a Veiled Doll disguise when they were in the Star Bearers' tower to avoid Suzanna, and they have no information about Edward's soot powers. So that's weird. And the Edward of the manga seems much more subtle than to do something as brash as kidnap Emilico.

I guess they wanted a very dramatic ending for the first season? But it seems probably unnecessary to me. Like, I didn't hate that part of the show, but I don't think I would've liked the show less without it. Plus, it removes a lot of the mystery and raises plot hole-type of questions about who knows what and who's, like, in the house. (and also how John got back? I think he said he held onto Edward's bird, but then where was he when Edward got there???) I think it probably would've been dramatic enough to end with the fallout of the debut, and the brainwashing/human reveal.

I am now going to share a bunch of my thoughts on various parts of the story, in no particular order. Sorry about the super long post, I know probably more people would read this if it was broken up, but I didn't want to flood the tag or my own blog.

Maryrose and Rosemary omg!!! 😭🥺😭🥺😭 I love them so much! I think their story was pretty much exactly the same as the show. I did notice, I think just because it was my second time around, that Rosemary doesn't talk, like, at all in the big showdown, or afterward when she's detained, except for when she reveals herself and then hugs Shaun and Emilico. Maryrose does all the talking, and it's kind of set up as just a fight between her and Kate and John, and then, later, Edward. Which I guess makes sense, given the circumstances of their relationship, and especially how they're used to interacting with others, or maybe that's just their personalities. But it would have been sweet to see them behave more like equal partners. I guess I may be projecting Kate and Emilico onto them a bit 😅 They are still great though, of course.

ANYWAY, I have a THEORY!! Or maybe more of a wish? I think it would be really cute if Rosemary and Maryrose ran away to join the circus! 🎪 They already have a lot of parallels to Kate and Emilico, so it kinda makes sense!! Especially considering that Maryrose can't disguise her shadow form, so it will be hard for them to integrate into normal society. (like Kate...) We already know they love to perform, they can do supernatural tricks with soot powers, and "the beauty and her shadow" would be an easy gimmick, as well as an interesting inversion of their relationship at Shadows House. Hopefully they can find one with a nicer ringmaster than Emilico's, but they're also much more prepared to throw down with a grown man than she was.

It was SO satisfying to me when the Patrick and Louise pairs finally got filled in on everything!!! Frankly I did not understand why nobody told poor Patrick about the soot powers right after the debut; it's not like Kate cares about respecting authority. And then even Rum came back 💜 I love when they all get to be a happy little family together 🥰🥰

In general I appreciate how many things seem to go well in this story, especially because it's usually because the characters have decided to work together and trust each other. Even though the fate of their uprising is far from sealed, it's still already had a lot of success, like them befriending the Star Bearers and eliminating the coffee. I feel like in a lot of other stories everything would have to fall apart so much more for the main characters before they got anywhere close to their goals. Which, like, of course there's nothing wrong with that, I just prefer a bit less hopelessness in my stories. Like, the Star Bearer election was such a huge victory!! And they just got to have that! (obviously there will be fallout, but they still got it, y'know?)

The criticism of capitalism really is, like, glaring. I feel like it's most obvious for me in the chapter where Emilico considers that she may have been less miserable if she kept drinking the coffee, but then Kate tries to help clean, and shares her table with her, and cheers her up. It's a tiny piece of the overall story, but it's such a sweet little reminder of, "this system exists to control us by breaking us down, and it will absolutely succeed if we are not there for each other. Relationships, empathizing with one another's struggles, and providing hope and help where it is needed are essential for progress." As someone who has dealt with burnout, that was really...yeah...🥺

I am so curious about where the story is going with Lou and Louise!!! Even before the recent invitation, I kept thinking, "we really don't know that much about them..." Louise's obsession with Lou's beauty is clearly unhealthy, and I assume it's inhibiting her own sense of identity. She's not the most thoughtful, and of the main team, seems to understand the least why what Shadows House is doing is wrong. I'm not even convinced she ever stopped brainwashing Lou, though I don't think she'd realize that's what she was doing. Especially because, in the manga, her powers weren't a huge discovery for her, she was just like, "oh yeah, that's something that I do". And when all the human kids are remembering their home and the selection together, Lou struggles to have an emotional reaction the way everyone else does. That reminded me of when Kate first broke Emilico's brainwashing after the debut, and she was confused at not being able to associate sadness with the memory of Rum and Shirley's loss. However, I do think Louise is firm enough in her connection to the group and their ideals that she won't be comfortable going along with unification. Even if she doesn't feel Edward is giving her a choice, she won't be like, "oh okay this is fine".

I have NO idea where they're going with Sarah and Mia. Someone in the tag pointed out that it looks like Sarah is crossing to the other wing along with Louise, and idk what to do with that!! Honestly, I have been a little confused by their characterization in general, because the first things we learn about them are the Sarah is mean and cruel, while Mia is helpful and kind, only for that to... not quite seem to be the case. Everyone seems to think Sarah is well-meaning but immature, and Mia begins to be the driving force behind Emilico's antagonization. I mean, it does seem like nobody would be aware of Sarah's abuse, and I can see that Mia's attitude toward Emilico would change once she is perceived to be a threat. But the abuse in particular seemed to sort of be swept under the rug? Like, they introduced it and then never mentioned it again, until Mia herself initiated it, which may not be odd if Sarah hadn't become a much more central character. (idk, I'm probably overthinking it!) Anyway, some people were saying they don't think Mia's going to make it, but idk...if either of them dies, it would be the closest-to-the-main-characters character to have a confirmed death yet. And if Mia, specifically, were to die, we'd have a faceless shadow, which we've never had to deal with before, because the Belles were able to share their...Belle. (speaking of whom, is Emi the only one who cares that she LOST HER TWIN SISTER??) Would Sarah be doomed to the death Rum described, or would our group have to rescue and hide her, somehow?

Speaking of all the Belles, again, I really feel like Barbara ought to apologize to them, specifically. She tried pretty hard to kill all of them, and succeeded with one out of four. Because if Belle hadn't made it, they'd have gotten rid of Isabelle and Mirabelle, right? I know Barbara has enough angst happening right now already, but, like, are we gonna talk about that??

Oh yeah, ANTHONY. What a little freak. His backstory puts him in one of the most sympathetic positions in the whole story, but after only a few short appearances, every reader is creeped out by him!! Truly an accomplishment. I mean, we can assume he was emotionally broken by the loss of Christopher, but still. Be cool, dude. One very interesting mystery surrounding him is that of Christopher's soot powers!!! I assume he has some of his soot in the vial, (a bit macabre, to think of him gathering it from a corpse) and is using it to do mind control of some sort?

(I do feel very bad for Barbara btw. Especially after she made such progress by opening up to everyone! I don't mean to gloss over that, I just don't have much to say about it.)

Okay, okay. KATE. 🎀🌹 Dearest, darlingest, mysterious girl. I was so happy when we finally learned the truth about her doll!!! Emilico meeting her (and everyone else tbh) in the village before they went to the House seemed kind of jarringly coincidental, but once I was able to suspend my disbelief in serendipity, it was really sweet!!! 😊🥰 And her having a different history then the other shadows makes her so much more interesting! (Though it does make Maryrose seem like more of an anomaly...) It's kind of funny that so many characters have a second, secreter backstory behind their secret backstory. Has anyone else considered that Kate may already actually be the equivalent to an "adult" shadow, the perfect union of a morph and a human?? I was going to say that she's the death-free version of what Gramps is trying to do, but then I remembered her mother died, so that's a lie. Possessing and killing pregnant women is actually not more ethical than whatever is currently going on.

Romance! As a lesbian who finds most "teen romance" stories grating, I kind of like what Shadows House has done so far, with the characters having various crushes and largely not acting on them, and that taking a backseat to both the main plotlines and their friendships. The crushes are more a vehicle for the characters learning about themselves than for drama. Probably eventually people will start getting together and that will change and I'll get annoyed, but 🤷🏻‍♀️. The only ones who are like "uwu we're made for each other 😚💕" are the ones who literally WERE. I like the head canon that Kate is a lesbian, and I don't really ship anything except the Roses, of course, and kinda Kate and Emilico. But that's, like...the whole story is about their love for each other, regardless of the form it takes? Not to be like, "they don't need to be gay because their friendship is just as strong", but it is. (I do think they're gay, though) I think I picture them ending up together, but, maybe, like, in a few years?? They are still learning that they are even people. (no hate if you do ship more, though. That's just me.) And I like imagining the main squad as found family besties. Like, "I used to be in love with you when we barely knew each other, then we got close, did a revolution together, and now both we and the shape of that love have changed so much, but we're all still here," type of friends.

Speaking of years, I wonder if the story's timeline will be clarified? rn it's, like, super ambiguous, and I think that might be intentional, but I wonder if we'll get answers.

Oh, okay! I think this'll be the last topic, and it's a totally superficial one. Kate's new digs!!!! ♥️ The scene where everyone came to say hi was so cute, I loved that. Do you think she'll have it redecorated to fit her color scheme more? Also, does this mean Emilico gets a nicer room, too??? And will this make it harder or easier to meet up with the others? Farther away, well, except for Patrick, now, but possibly more space and more freedom? And does Rum always patrol the tower? Cause then they'd get to see her all the time! In general I'm excited for what new things Kate will have access to as a star bearer, but that also means that if the adults find out about the coffee, she'll be blamed for sure.

All right, that's finally it! Thank you for reading, if you read all of this, I love you so much!!! Please tell me what you think about any of my theories or thoughts or whatnot. 💕

[theangiediary]

people you'd like to know better tag thank youu @deanwinchesterpregnant @dyed-red

Last song: Outta Time - Natalia Kills (really the whole Trouble album) ((it IS a Dean song btw))

Currently watching: I've been having a weird time with visual media recently. Saw and disliked Barbie*, saw and loved Steel Magnolias. Very casually trying to get through late seasons spn.

Currently reading: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir. It's good, a little slow. A friend recommended it so I'm trying to get through before I see him in a couple weeks so we can talk about it.

Current obsession: uh. Kink, maybe? Honestly I haven't had a good obsession in a minute, I miss it 😔 but I'm exploring that right now. Went to a waxplay workshop earlier this week, camp later in August (if you're a east coaster and know what I'm talking about... Uh hiii 👀). Getting myself so many presents :)

Tagging: I've seen many moots hit already so taking the lame way out and saying: if you see this, consider yourself tagged!

*Barbie critique (don't read it if you liked the movie ok I'm a hater it will just upset you) ⤵️

It was fine, for an ad. By their own admission Mattel has been struggling as a business, so this- along with the theme park they're building- is to create a "Universe" rather than just physical dolls. The in-movie criticism of Mattel doing things for money doesn't it not true. Look at the sheer volume of collabs, commericals, etc that's happening.

(Same with the "if you want to make this point about not being pretty don't hire Margot Robbie!". Like, cute 🙄. You still did though.)

And as a dyke I was irritated by the treatment of 'weird Barbie'. I had bad vibes from the trailer where Kate offered the Birkenstocks as "truth" and the heels as "ignorance". And the other Barbies calling her "broken" bc she "got played with too hard".... making her only role in Dreamland to "fix" other Barbies while being sooo scary..... ew.

Which leads me to something that really irritates me: people calling this movie "queer"! No! Obviously Weird Barbie (played by a lesbian, and since it relies so heavily on star power/meta it's pretty clear what they were doing) treated poorly, and then Alan.. well. I know some Twitter Gays/Bi love to be "ooh I'm so pathetic and scared 🥺" so great rep for them, but the Kens dance being "homoerotic" after immediately following his rampant misogyny, creepiness/sexualization of Barbie, etc is not, in my opinion, good!

The second half overall was just bad. Ferrera's speech was basic (we've been saying that for 40 years. Happy for you if it you took something from it but did nothing for me). Hated the "Girlbossing through playing a bimbo honeypot" 🙄. Sarcastically grateful that Ken thought the patriarchy was horses otherwise he might have put up a fight! And don't even.. listen I was ready for Barbie not to be Confirmed trans/ace/aro, okay I'm not an idiot, put the final moment being a bait and switch- "is she going to a job interview? NO big bright smile for the gynecologist!" made me so angry. They really said "human womanhood is defined by a pussy 🙂 Please still be pretty, hairless, and happy 🙂". Are you kidding me? #feminism ????

A much better film about womanhood, growing up, and mother-daughter relationships and frankly, queer rep, is Steel Magnolias (1989). Hooo boy. Actually cried. Without spoiling it bc you should watch it, the characters actually had personalities, and conflict, and it felt like you could (and would want to) walk right into Truvy's beauty shop and be part of something. Ouiser was my favorite of course.

[project1939]

Day 33- Film: Skirts Ahoy! 

Release date: May 28th, 1952. 

Studio: MGM 

Genre: Musical 

Director: Sidney Lanfield 

Producer: Joe Pasternak 

Actors: Esther Williams, Joan Evans, Vivian Blaine 

Plot Summary: Three women at various dead ends with men decide to join the WAVES (Women’s US Navy). Mary Kate is jilted on her wedding day, Una hasn’t seen her supposed fiancé in months, and rich girl Whitney is the one who did the jilting on her own wedding day. We follow the exploits of these three and their prospective beaus as they try to survive basic training. 

My Rating (out of five stars): *** on merit, ****½ for how much I enjoyed watching it! 

I needed a movie like this today! Something colorful, silly, cheery, campy... and full of lots of stunning '50s women bonding with each other. First things first, this is not a great film. If it’s in your wheelhouse, you’ll probably get a kick out of it, if not, you’ll probably hate it. But I adored it for the most part. So... 

The Good: 

Esther Williams! Oh my god, Esther Williams! Before today, I had only seen clips of her swimming, never an entire film of hers. She’s so charming and exquisitely beautiful, I was instantly smitten!

The comradery between the three female leads. They were cute and sweet together, and there was no unnecessary conflict added in for drama. 

The Technicolor. It was the vibrant 1950s MGM Technicolor you imagine. 

Just getting a movie with lots of women in it! Hollywood at this time seemed especially allergic to movies like this, so I always love them when they do exist. 

The campy corniness of it was good fun. 

Esther just being her drop dead gorgeous normal-bodied self! She’s got thighs! Her waist is on the thicker side, proportionally... she was an athlete in real life, before being an athlete meant you had to be rock-hard. She’s not overweight by any stretch, but in today’s Hollywood she would probably stupidly be considered so. All I know is, she makes my knees turn to jelly! 

The title. The title. The gloriously silly title! 

Whoever dreamed up the movie poster above? What were they smoking? “More floating heads! We need more!” “But there’s no room!” “Put them on her arm! Her arm!” 

The Bad: 

The music in it wasn’t the greatest. You’re not going to find any classics or standards here. Besides “Anchors Away,” of course! 

The musical numbers were also not very well integrated into the plot. Pretty much every time, the plot had to come to a stop to “put on a show.” Some of the musical numbers were pretty random as well, like when Debbie Reynolds and Bobby Van performed a racially insensitive (?) comedy song, and another where a guy in a nightclub sang a love song. (Although sadly, I understood why that one felt so random- the singer was a black artist. Musicals like this would often put in a number with a black singer who had no connection to the plot, so that it could be edited out of the prints for theaters in the South. And that’s the absolute disgusting truth.) 

The men! Couldn’t they give any of these beautiful women any half-decent men? The girl who got jilted at the altar took the schmuck back! The girl who never saw her suspicious fiancé was still tagging along after him. And Esther William’s character for some reason fell in love with a 50 year old. Who wasn’t all that attractive. He had to have been 20 years older than she, and it just didn’t work for me at all. 

Lots of emphasis on the fact that what women really need above all else is a man. One of the big songs is “What Good is a Gal? (Without a Guy)” So even though it promotes female bonding, it has to undercut it a little. Or a lot! 

I wanted more swimming numbers with Esther. 

[bucketsofmonsters]

The Shapeshifting Detective - Part 3

cw: parental death, grief, slow burn, panic attacks, mild body horror, more tags will be added as the story continues

male shapeshifter x fem character

word count: 6k

part 1  part 2  part 3  part 4  part 5  part 6  part 7  part 8

Kate spent the next few hours itching to leave. She was desperate to go check out the address she’d found but the universe seemed intent on thwarting her. The first second she got alone was in the middle of the night, when she was meant to be asleep. 

As soon as she was sure that the house was settled and she wouldn’t run into anyone in the halls, she was rushing out of bed to put on the most practical clothes she owned. They were a far cry from her stilted mourning clothing but she needed to be able to move in them. 

The necessity to be able to move was made abundantly clear when Kate made the decision to climb out the window. Sure, a door would have been easier but she was less likely to be seen this way so the window it was.

She opened the window as slowly as she could, cursing every creak that seemed to echo endlessly off the walls. She finally got the window opened and hopped up onto the windowsill, her determination to figure this all out refusing to wane. 

“Kate?”

She heard Anne’s confused voice and considered running, just bolting and not having the nightmare of a conversation she knew this would be, but she couldn’t do that to her. So, with her face contorted into a grimace, she turned to face her. 

Anne was looking at her like she’d lost her mind. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Kate didn’t think Anne was stupid, not by any means, but she hoped that maybe she would take the hint and drop it. It was a long shot but it was all she had. 

“Are you climbing out the window? What are you wearing?” She couldn’t seem to make any sense of the scene in front of her. 

The concern was dripping from her voice and that almost made it worse because Kate couldn’t say anything, wouldn’t say anything. She would not put anyone else she cared about in harm’s way. 

Anne could see her pulling away and refused to back down like Kate had prayed she would. “What’s happening to you, Kate? What are you hiding? Are you alright? You can talk to me about whatever is going on.”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can't?” She was searching Kate’s face for any hint as to what was going on, trying to find something to latch onto. 

“I just… I need to leave, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“For once in your life can you stop being stubborn and just let me help?” The exasperation was clear in her voice, fed up with her behavior, something that was probably boiling over from long before her father’s death had made the whole situation worse. Any other time, Kate would’ve done anything to try and fix it but not now. Now she had more important things to be doing.

“I’m sorry.” That was all she said before she slipped out the window, hitting the ground and immediately heading out through the streets of the city, trusting Anne to close the window behind her. She kept her head down, trying not to meet anyone's eye and go unnoticed, knowing that someone seeing her in these clothes out alone at night could be devastating to her reputation. 

It didn’t take long to get there. Honestly, more of the trip was probably spent getting mildly lost and having to gather her bearings again than was spent actually getting there. 

It didn’t take her long to realize that she hadn’t really put much thought into what she should do once she got there. It was like she assumed that simply arriving at the location would tell her exactly why it was written on that card but here she was and she still had no idea. 

There was nothing that seemed particularly out of place about the building she’d been so desperately trying to reach. She had never been to this part of the city before but it looked more or less like every other building around it, although it was admittedly hard to tell at night. 

No one lived there, she knew that much. The street was full of shops, most of them poorly labeled, if there were any signs at all. This one lacked any way to identify what it was other than the numbers on the side, the paint chipped and barely readable but still matching those on the torn little sheet of paper. 

Hopefully if it was a business, it would be abandoned at this time of night and she would be able to explore in undeterred. She couldn’t exactly just knock in the middle of the night and going home now wasn’t an option.

The doors were all locked but she managed to find a window that opened and sneak through it. A week ago she never could have imagined sneaking through a window and now she’d done it twice in one night, it felt absurd. 

Gathering her bearings was difficult, it was dark inside, barely lit by the moonlight streaming through the window. It was going to have to stay that way, Kate didn’t want to risk anyone seeing a light and finding her. 

She had no idea how she was going to do anything this way, she was stumbling around like a newborn deer. It turns out investigating was quite difficult to do when you couldn’t see.

That problem was quickly resolved when the walls of the room were lit by the light of an oil lamp coming from behind her. 

“Done with the black a little quickly, aren’t we?”

Kate whipped around and saw Evelyn sizing her up, the lamp set on a table beside her. She felt like prey under her gaze. Even in the middle of the night she was still dressed to the nines in black, her dress intricate, covered in laces and ribbons, and her makeup dark. Kate wondered when she slept, although she supposed she wasn’t one to talk considering her sleep schedule as of late had been nonexistent. 

She let out a huff of laughter as she looked Kate up and down. “I wonder why you’re so eager to get out of the mourning clothes, did black just not suit you or is mourning not your style?”

Katherine reeled back. “What are you insinuating?”

“Nothing. Why, what did you think I was saying?” Her voice dripped with mock concern. 

“Eager to pin my father’s death on someone else, aren’t you?”

Evelyn rolled her eyes, the flame reflecting off her pitch black irises. “Please, everyone already thinks I did it. With no proof, mind you. Me throwing some accusations at a girl no one will even know was here won’t do shit. We should talk more anyways. We’re not so different, I think. We’re both on trial for murder. Pretty important similarity, I’d say.”

“I didn’t do it,” she said, her voice curt, not willing to give this conversation the time of day.

“Another similarity, look at us! We’re practically twins. Sorry for taking your inheritance by the way. I hope you understand it's not personal, no ill will intended.”

That was the most amicable thing the woman in black had said thus far. “I don’t care,” Kate replied. “Take whatever you want, that’s none of my business.”

“Are you not upset? It was yours.”

“No, it was my fathers and he lost it to you, I have no part in it.”

That seemed to surprise her, taking a moment from her snide remarks to really take her in, not just to make her squirm under the woman’s gaze but in an attempt to really figure her out. 

“Well, I’m glad that there’s no bad blood between us,” she decided. ”Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. What is a lady like you doing in an establishment like this at this time of night?”

Despite the indifference Kate had towards her inheritance being taken, there was most certainly bad blood between the two of them. Especially considering that she’d just caught Kate breaking and entering and then accused her of murder. “That’s none of your business.”

“It’s none of my business why you’re in my place of work? Are you sure you want to stick with that?”

Shit. Well that wasn’t good. Any half decent excuse she could have come up with just went out the window. At this point she was just at Evelyn's mercy and despite the fact that she basically just met the woman, she had a distinct feeling that that was a very bad place to be. 

Another voice sounded from the other room and Kate managed to make out the words, “Evelyn, can you rewrite this part, I can’t read your handwriting,” before her bumbling detective came crashing through the door and for the first time in her life, Kate was thrilled to see him, praying he could get her out of this mess. 

The second his eyes hit Kate he froze, his eyes flicking nervously between Kate and Evelyn, a look of dread washing over his face.  

Evelyn shot Kate a smile, clearly thrilled by this turn of events as she said, “And of course you know Harvey,” 

Kate was scrambling to make sense of what was happening and the only thing she could manage to say was, “Vincent?”

Now it was Evelyn's turn to look surprised, turning very intentionally to the detective and shooting him a glare that Kate would never want to be on the receiving end of. “Yes, Vincent, what a surprise?”

He winced but his attention remained on Kate. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I know.” Biting back her pride and admitting defeat was difficult but she had a feeling she was in over her head and frankly, she couldn’t make enough sense of what was going on to properly defend herself. 

Evelyn tutted beside her, shaking her head in disappointment. “Come on, Katherine, where did that bite go? We were having such a good conversation too, such a shame.”

“Evelyn, please leave her alone.” Vincent pleaded. 

Kate was observant enough to know that there were layers of this conversation she was missing. The endless knowing glances between the two were practically impossible to miss if you were paying even a modicum of attention. What she couldn’t figure out was what they meant, what subtext she was missing. 

Evelyn, on the other hand, was unraveling a completely different mystery. Her eyes widened once more and she practically hissed, “Have you gone soft on her?”

“No.” The word came out sounding sharp and defensive and even Vincent seemed to know that they weren't convincing.

It was all but an admission and at the same time a look of confusion crossed Kate’s face, Evelyn let out a knowing sigh. “Of course you are, I don’t know what I expected. This is why I never ask you for help, you know. You’re useless, I swear. Come on, she’s…” her sentence trailed off as she gestured vaguely in Kate’s direction and yet Vincent seemed to inexplicably understand what she meant. 

It set something off in him and he drew closer to her, standing almost protectively between the two. “Kate, you should not be here.” He repeated himself but this time his tone was sharper than anything she’d heard from him before. 

Everything in her wanted to fight him, his unwavering voice not helping the matter, but something about him told her not to, the same instinct that told her to bite back her pride minutes before. There was something she couldn’t quite place in his face, he almost seemed scared and she knew he was right. 

She shouldn’t be here. 

Beyond just the legal ramifications of breaking into this place, something else was wrong, something Kate just couldn’t understand, no matter how hard she tried. 

“Okay,” she managed, unused to going along with anything he said. 

He seemed just as taken aback with her agreement as she was, already ready to fight her on the matter. When he recovered from his shock he gave her a little nod and started herding her towards the exit. “We should be leaving.”

Evelyn pouted behind him. “You’re no fun, Vincent. Katherine and I were just getting to know each other.”

His hand wrapped around Kate’s forearm and he pulled her closer to both him and the door. “That’s a shame, but we really need to leave. Bye, Evelyn.”

He practically dragged her out the door, desperate to get out of there. He was stronger than he looked. Kate honestly got the impression that he was holding back but she could still feel it, the way he effortlessly hauled her behind him.

As soon as they got what he deemed an appropriate distance away he dropped her arm and turned to face her. 

“That was really stupid, Kate.”

Her placidity from earlier immediately melted away. “Excuse me? I’m not the one who’s having midnight meetings with people they’re supposed to be investigating. God, no wonder you were defending her.”

“Oh please, you have no idea what’s going on here.”

“No! I don’t! Because you’re not telling me!” She was basically screaming at this point, her frustration getting the better of her.  

He sighed and looked back towards Evelyn’s building, like he was worried she might have followed them. “Does anyone even know you’re here?” His voice was softer now, more concerned. 

“No.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed, you cannot be doing this.” He was practically pleading with her.

“You think Evelyn would kill someone?” Here he was, admitting to it, and yet he’d sworn to her that Evelyn couldn’t have possibly hurt her father. 

“This is more complicated than that.”

“How?” Even as she asked the question she knew she wouldn’t get a straight answer. 

“I can’t tell you.”

Of course he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her anything. 

He kept glancing around nervously and started guiding her back in the direction of her home as they talked. Despite how frustrated she was, she followed him. Home sounded like a good idea right about now. 

“How did you even know to come here?” he asked as he led her further and further away from the mysterious store. 

She should’ve lied. Of course she should’ve, but she was shaken and confused and she was done with lying. “You had the address written down by your weird little murder board, I stole it.”

He didn’t get upset. He would have every right to be but instead that same vaguely impressed look crossed his face again. 

He cracked that familiar smile and said, “I really should get more diligent about stuff like that, especially when angry people are storming around.”

“Yeah, you probably should.”

They walked in silence for a while, both lost in thought. Kate was trying to piece together what could be happening, running through idea after idea while Vincent floundered, looking for the right words. Finally he broke the silence and settled on, “You cannot go there.”

Of course he was telling her to stop now, to stay home and out of trouble. She was a fool to believe him when he said he was alright with her being out here, looking for answers. “I thought you were alright with me investigating, what happened to it being ‘incredible?’”

“You can!” he promised, but the words felt hollow now. “Just not there, anywhere but there.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” Kate felt like she could scream in frustration. 

She watched his face fall as her voice cracked, her desperation clear. “I’m so sorry, I can’t. I want to but I just… shit.”

He just buried his head in his hands for while, letting out the occasional groan as he worked through whatever emotions he was feeling right now and she at least felt a little less embarrassed by her voice cracks. It shouldn’t be comforting, having mutual break downs with someone, but it was the most sane she’d felt since this all began. Both of them were clearly spiraling, admittedly about different things but spiraling nonetheless. 

He spoke into his palms and Kate wasn’t clear if his words were meant for her or if they were solely for his own benefit. “God if I ask you not to come back you’re definitely coming back.” He wasn’t wrong about that, she couldn’t imagine there was much he could do to keep her away from anywhere that had answers, no matter what her gut was telling her about that place. “How about you don’t come here without me?” he reasoned. “Is that alright?”

“Oh, so you want to babysit me?”

He looked up from his hands and she saw just how genuine he looked. At this point she wasn’t sure he was capable of anything but absolute sincerity. “Listen, you’re upset, I get that. But you’re smart, really smart, like the smartest person I’ve met since I got here…”

“Got where.”

“See, that, right there!” he said, pointing at you victoriously. “You pick up on everything I say, you’re smart! You can investigate with me, no babysitting involved.”

It felt like an attempt to placate her, no way could he really mean that. “Investigate with you.” She said the words like they were in a foreign language.

He nodded eagerly. “Yeah, you can come with me to investigate and I’ll share all my information. You seem to want to do this and I could use the help, it’s a win-win. Come on, Kate.”

There was no way he meant it. The idea was absurd, even from her perspective, knowing she didn’t do it and that she wanted nothing more than to find the truth. And yet she knew he meant it. She’d be able to tell if he didn’t, he wore his emotions too clearly for that.

“Alright,” she agreed. “We’ll do this together.”

Vincent punched the air victoriously and she couldn’t fight back a giggle. 

Without her even realizing it, they’d come upon her house “Miss Kate, I believe this is your stop,” Vincent said.

The window she’d exited through had been left slightly ajar, making it her easiest entrance point. She considered waiting for him to leave before climbing through but dawn was fast approaching and she wanted to be back in bed as quickly as possible. 

She pushed the window open once more and he watched her, head cocked to the side. 

“Do you need a boost?”

She didn’t respond, instead opting to hop up on the windowsill and pull herself through to the other side. 

She heard him mutter, “obviously not” before giving her a final wave and heading off on his way, leaving her to scramble towards her bedroom before anyone spotted her. 

She managed to make the trek covertly and as she entered her bedroom, she found her mother sitting just inside the door. 

She was fuming, the anger clear in her eyes as they locked onto Kate. 

Kate squeaked out a quiet, “How did you know…”

“Anne told me.”

She felt like she’d been stabbed. Anne had told her? That couldn’t be right, she wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t give Kate up like that, even if she was being sneaky and secretive. 

Her mother continued, clearly seeing her confusion. “She’s worried about you, as she should be. You could ruin your whole life this way. What if someone saw you? Look at you, you’re a mess. Cover up the bags under your eyes at least, have some dignity.”

“Sorry, mother,” she snapped, any attempt at playing nice being forgotten immediately. “I forgot to look pretty in my mourning, I’ll get right on that.”

“You’re being unfair, Katherine. I’m not the one who’ll be judging you, they’re not my rules.”

Kate knew she was right, that it wasn’t really her fault. But that was how it worked, wasn’t it, girls were made to resent their mothers for shaping them up to survive a world not built for them and then, someday, her daughter would resent her. The cycle continues on. 

Her mother looked perfect, even when she’d been woken up in the middle of the night by a worried maid. She was sad in all the right ways but composed. The mother she inevitably resented must’ve been proud of how efficiently she tore her daughter down. If only her mother had taught her the same way maybe this wouldn’t be so hard.  

Kate sighed. “Can we do this some other time. We’re going to argue and then I’ll do it again and then we’ll argue again, there’s no point in it.” All she wanted was to be miserable in peace. 

“I need you to understand. Katherine, the neighbors are talking.” She said it with such intention, like she was telling her of a death sentence. 

Of course they were talking, when were rumors not being spread? This week it was about her and next week some other poor girl would be in the spotlight. “And what are they saying?”

“They’re saying you’re not grieving.”

The words hit her and in an instant she understood what they meant. They thought she did it. “Let them talk. They’ll see, I’ll find who did it and then I can grieve.”

Another kind of sorrow crossed her mother’s face, this one not rehearsed and flawless. A real emotion. Kate wondered what she could've done to earn that. 

Her mother searched her face, although Kate had no idea what she was looking for “What’s happened to you? You were such a well behaved girl, your father wouldn’t want you to come unraveled like this.”

“My father can’t want anything so it’s not like it matters. And for the record, my father wanted more for me than this, he didn’t want me to be miserable like you are,” she spat.

Her mother stood, her face still perfectly unreadable. “Pull yourself together, before it’s too late.” 

That was the last she saw of her mother that night. There was something very final about it, one last warning, like she wouldn’t try to stop her anymore. Her life was in her hands now, hers to ruin. 

She tried to sleep. She really did, to get at least a few hours in, but her mother’s words kept running through her head. ‘They say you’re not grieving.’ She was in her own personal hell and they didn’t think she was grieving.

When she finally gave up on sleep and got up, Anne didn’t speak to her. Kate was glad, she had nothing to say to her. She wanted to fix it, to fix everything, but she knew it would turn into another fight. Sometimes saying nothing was easier. 

A knock sounded at her bedroom door as Anne wordlessly helped her get dressed and someone popped their head in the door. “You have a caller, Miss Katherine.”

She prayed it wasn’t Daniel. She knew that she needed him, that without him her whole life would fall apart, but she didn’t know if she could keep herself from snapping at him. Not with the state she was in. 

When she went out to investigate, she found Vincent peeking through the doorway, looking aimlessly for her. 

His face lit up the second they locked eyes. “Miss Kate! Are you prepared to go play detective with me?”

Somehow she still hadn’t believed her own intuition that he’d meant it, him standing here waiting for her felt impossible. “You meant it?”

“Of course I did, why else would I have said it?”

That was the first good news she’d received in a very long time. “Then yes, I’m absolutely ready. Where are we going?”

“To see that couple we talked about, the one from the will reading. I’ve done some reconnaissance on them but we haven’t officially met, I figured you’d be good to have there considering you’re family friends, might help diffuse the tension a little.”

She hadn’t seen them in a while but surely she’d be able to handle the situation better than Vincent would’ve alone, if her interactions with him were anything to go by.  

When they arrived at the house, she could see the couple's surprise at her presence the second they set eyes on the pair. Vincent seemed less aware of their bewilderment. 

“Hello, I’m Detective Harvey Lewis.” He said it with a smile, like he always did.

Neither of them were looking at him. 

“Katherine? Why are you here?” Theresa asked.

Vincent cleared his throat and stepped in. “I asked her to be here, she’s helping with the investigation.”

“Are you sure that’s wise? We’ve both… heard things, can she really be unbiased in this?” 

Kate should have assumed they’d be like this. If people were talking, of course they’d heard that she wasn’t grieving. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for her to be there after all. 

Vincent wasn’t having it. “I assure you, she can be, I know how to run an investigation, thank you very much. Can we speak to you separately, we can start with Mrs Moore.”

Peter didn’t even give her the chance to speak. “No, you can’t.”

“We can start with you if…”

“We will remain together.” His tone was threatening and his shoulders were puffed out, trying to make himself look bigger. He didn’t even need to in order to have a few inches on Vincent and Kate couldn’t help but worry about what would happen if they did start a fight.

Vincent seemed more baffled than threatened. “Alright, although I really should speak to you both separately some other time.”

As they got situated, Vincent pulled out his little notebook and Kate almost wished she had one, to make her feel more official and a little less out of place. 

“Alright, and how did you two know Mr. Hayes?”

Theresa opened her mouth to answer but Peter didn’t give her the chance. “We were friends.” He was clearly upset, his answer riddled with spite.

Vincent prompted him further. “You and your wife or…”

“Yes, my wife knew Mr. Hayes very well.”

Theresa nodded off to the side, still not being given the opportunity to speak. 

“And where were you on the 12th?”

Was that the night it had happened? Kate hadn’t thought to check. The date had seemed so unimportant. 

Peter shot a glare her way and spat, “Not standing over his dead body, I’m sure Katherine can attest to that.”

Vincent didn’t understand it as the accusation that it was. “She didn’t witness the murder, she just found the body. Can you just tell us where you were?”

They weren’t getting anywhere. Every question was getting sidestepped, both of them infinitely more interested in Katherine than in saying anything productive. 

Theresa cut in for the first time. “I really don’t understand why we’re doing this, is this really necessary? I can tell you about Katherine but it seems odd that you brought her. 

They were blaming her. Evelyn had. Anne had asked her, Daniel seemed to think she might’ve, even Vincent didn’t seem fully convinced of her innocence. 

Vincent shook his head, trying to put the idea to rest as quickly as he could. “No, I’m not here to talk about Miss Kate, I’m here to talk about you two.”

Despite his words, she knew when she wasn’t wanted. She might as well leave them to theorize about how and why she murdered her father like they were apparently doing anyways. “I should go, my mother wanted me home. I’ll leave you in the detective’s capable hands.” No one had a chance to respond before she was running out of the room. 

The second she was out of view she gasped, buckling over and letting out a little wail. She felt pathetic, she needed to get ahold of herself. It was all too much. It felt like the whole world was looking at her. She couldn’t breathe. 

She didn’t even realize Vincent had followed her until she felt his hand on her back. She immediately stood up straight, trying to compose herself.

His voice was low and comforting. “Hey, you’re alright. Just breathe, you’re gonna be okay.”

“I need to leave,” she gasped out, trying to get out of his way and let him work the case she clearly had no place helping with. “Me being here is a hindrance. I’m sure you think I did it too, I’ve messed this all up, I should just go.” She could feel her breathing getting faster and faster but she couldn’t do anything to stop it. Everything felt like it was crashing in all at once. All she wanted was to help and she couldn’t even manage that, somehow worsening the disaster that was this investigation. 

She staggered backwards, doing her very best to look like she was alright, to not cause any more problems as she made her exit. 

Vincent did not seem inclined to let her do that.

“Kate, you didn’t mess anything up,” he promised. “This is going about as well as every other interview has been going, at least now we can do bad interviews together.”

His tone was lighthearted, attempting a faint smile but Kate felt like she was going to throw up. 

Her hands were raking through her hair, desperate for something to hold onto. “I just want to fix it. They all think that makes me guilty. I’m not guilty, I would never do that. I just want to help, to make it better.”

She started choking up as she rambled, her words catching in her throat as she forced them out. 

And then he stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. The second she was in his arms she basically collapsed, even the prospect of holding herself up too much. 

The sniffles wouldn’t stop coming and she shed her very first tear since this nightmare had begun, everything hitting her all at once. Her tears wet Vincent's shirt as she shoved her face into it, terrified that he’d let her go she’d be left to deal with all these emotions on her own.

“I didn’t do it,” she managed to choke out, despite the state she was in. 

“I know.” The words were muttered into her hair, the arms around her tight and unyielding and comforting in a way that she’d had no idea that she needed. She could hear his heartbeat thudding in her ears beside her own rapid one. 

She had no idea how long they stood there, his arms pulled tight and her leaning on him completely. If he’d pulled away she would’ve collapsed but he didn't. He just stood there as she cried. If this wasn’t grieving, she’d hate to find out what was. 

When she finally did pull away, night was already falling and Kate couldn’t help but wonder if they really had left in the morning. That kept happening. Seconds would feel like days and then all of a sudden, hours would slip away without her even realizing. 

“I’m sorry, I messed up your shirt,” she said, wiping at the tears left on her face. 

“It’s alright, I can get another shirt. Besides, I think we’re done for the day, do you want to pick this up tomorrow?” He looked hesitant, unsure if she really wanted to drop out of all of this after fighting so hard to get there. 

“Yeah, tomorrow sounds good.”

“Alright, see you then partner.” He was beaming, every ounce of excitement clear across his face. Kate wasn’t sure he could hide an emotion if he tried. 

It was too much. He was too weird and worse he was too nice. There must be something behind it, something malicious. She would not be fooled by him. 

She ran through it over and over again as she calmed down on their walk home. He refused to let her go home on her own. 

He’d caught her at a vulnerable moment, that was it, it wouldn’t happen again. She had to figure him out, find out what he was hiding.

When he dropped her off at her house, she pressed herself against the inside of the door, counting the seconds until she could chase after him. As she waited, she heard footsteps behind her. Anne stood there, no confusion on her face this time. She just looked defeated. 

“I hope you know what you’re doing” 

She left before Kate could muster up a response. 

A pang of guilt ran through her chest before she was on the move again, she didn’t have time to stand around feeling guilty, she had a detective to follow. 

He was hiding something. Like he’d said, she was smart, she wasn’t just going to drop it. The sooner she could figure it out, the sooner she could focus on more important things. She didn’t even find the time to put on practical clothes, bolting out of the house the second Vincent was no longer looking. 

It was shockingly easy to follow Vincent. Surely a detective must have some level of awareness and yet, even as he walked into less and less occupied areas, he didn’t seem to catch any wind of Kate trailing behind him, doing her best to not be noticed. 

The further they walked, the more she wondered where he could possibly be headed. This was an industrial zone, a seemingly mostly abandoned one at that, one that had flourished in years where the country was in better health and now fell by the wayside as people had less money to spend. 

But even if the factories had been opened, what possible reason could he have to be here? He was already employed in a well respected position, so he couldn't be working. What other reason would he have to be here? He must be meeting someone. Maybe a lover, maybe something more nefarious. 

Yes, she concluded, that must be it. She couldn’t fathom any other reason he might be here. As she theorized, she watched from a distance as he slipped inside one of the abandoned warehouses. 

She approached the door and listened carefully for a while, making sure the sounds of his movement were far off and still she waited what she prayed was an appropriate amount of time, that he’d be both away from the door and distracted. She eased it open as little as she could, sliding inside, grateful for her black mourning dress that would help conceal her in the shadows of the poorly lit room. 

The warehouse seemed even larger from the inside, littered with left behind crates and materials that it hadn’t been worth it to transfer out. Kate slipped behind one of them, peeking around the edge to try and find Vincent. 

He was in the corner of the warehouse, all alone. He settled in, sitting on a smaller crate, his jacket in his arms. He tossed it down into a pile of blankets and started to unbutton his shirt and she realized what was happening. He lived there. 

Surely he had the funds to live somewhere else, why would he be living in an abandoned warehouse? He was a well respected detective, it didn’t make any sense. 

As he got undressed and made himself at home, he rolled his arms back and she heard a cracking noise echo across the warehouse. She couldn’t help but flinch sympathetically. He must be so tense to be able to do that, against her better judgment she’d grown mildly fond of the man, she couldn’t help but feel for him a little. 

He went on, almost ritualistically, cracking his wrists and his neck, moving through every part of his body. And then his arm bent the wrong way, letting out that same familiar crack. 

More and more cracks rolled through his body, his bones no longer just bending but growing. His body got longer as he moved, growing taller with every snap of a bone. His features started to melt away and became less and less distinct, that cracking still happening, sounding more and more like bones snapping in two. 

She heard a scream. It took too long to realize it was her own, sounding distant and foreign, echoing incessantly across the walls. The creature whipped around to look at her and she couldn’t breathe. 

She couldn’t feel anything but fear, incapable of forming any thoughts, an all encompassing terror blossoming from her chest and taking her over entirely. 

And then the world fell out from under her.

[upat4amwiththemoon]

Maybe could be considered a part 2 to Vigilante Shit but it would be Blackhill mom's officially meeting and talking to Kate. If you want more funny antics it could start with Kate seeking into R's room or something like that.

P.S. love your mom fics!

Vigilante shit | 2

Summary: Sneaking out to make out and beat bad people up.

Pairing: BlackHill x daughter!reader, Kate Bishop x female!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 1424

a/n: blackhill <3 would recommend reading part 1

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore

masterlists | guidelines

All parts: part 1, part 2

It’s been two weeks since Natasha and Maria caught Y/N sneaking back to her room after a vigilante mission she had with her girlfriend Kate. Which means it’s also been two weeks since Y/N has seen Kate, as her mothers thought grounding her was needed. It probably was, but she can still be annoyed about it.

Y/N is sitting on her bed, reading Jane Eyre with music playing from her phone. Her moms are downstairs cooking dinner for the three of them. A sudden clattering sound makes Y/N moves her attention away from the book. She looks around her room, but notices nothing moving or changing, so she turns back to her book.

The clatter can be heard again.

This time Y/N slams her book down to her bed, though not before putting a bookmark to the page she was in. She stands up and walks around her room, looking around for anything out of order. Just as her gaze goes over to the window, a small rock hits it, making a clattering sound.

With a frown, she looks out from the closed window. “Kate?” She mumbles, unlocking the window quickly. “What are you doing here?” Y/N whisper shouts, her head leaning out the window.

“I’m here to save my princess! Have you seen her? Her mothers locked her into a tower.” Kate giggles, her hands over her mouth in a cup like way to make sure Y/N can hear her.

Y/N scoffs with a grin, “come inside, idiot.” She glances between Kate climbing up the fore ladder and her closed door, desperately hoping her mothers haven’t heard the commotion. “You know I’m grounded, right?” She mumbles when Kate is finally inside.

“Yeah,” she kisses her before closing the window, “but I really missed you.” Kate goes to sit down on Y/N’s bed while looking at her room. She hasn’t actually been there before, as they tried to keep their relationship secret from Y/N’s moms.

She tries to act annoyed that Kate is endangering both of their wellbeing by sneaking into her room while her moms are home, but she can’t help but be happy her girlfriend is here. “I missed you too.”

Kate smiles, waving her fingers in a come here motion. As Y/N steps closer to her, she pulls her to her lap, wrapping her arms around the lower part of her waist. “How long are you still grounded for?” She speaks quietly, knowing her parents have an extra good hearing.

“Like another week, I think.” Y/N rolls her eyes, thinking her moms went overboard with the amount of grounding. “I’m also apparently never ever allowed to leave the house with you alone. So, you’re going to have to get used to hanging out here.”

Kate giggles, “I’ll live with that.” She tilts her head, suddenly dropping her smile. “Except I have to meet your parents before that, don’t I?” She frowns, her body tensing up at the thought of officially Maria and Natasha.

“You do.” Y/N hums, her hand going up to play with Kate’s hair.

“What if they won’t like me?”

Biting the inside of her cheek, she twirls a strand of hair around her finger. “They’ll like you..eventually.”

“What does that mean?”

“They’re just a but apprehensive of you after the whole vigilante thing.”

Kate groans, her forehead thudding against Y/N’s shoulder. “They hate me. I haven’t met them yet and they already hate me.”

“They don’t hate you,” Y/N cradles Kate’s head, “they just don’t like that we’ve been sneaking out to fight people.”

“Well,” she sighs, “I guess that makes sense.”

“You think?”

Kate gives Y/N’s shoulders a couple of light bites when she laughs. They start giggling together and fall down to the bed, Y/N on top of Kate.

During their giggling, that has gotten a bit too loud, they fail to notice the footsteps coming towards the room. “Y/N, the dinner i-“ Natasha stops talking as she notices her daughter isn’t alone.

“Mom!” Y/N jumps up, falling off of the bed in the process. Kate scrambles up from the bed, her eyes comically wide as she stares at Natasha staring at the two with a scarily calm expression. Y/N stands up, the three of them stand there in silence. “This is Kate.” She mumbles

“Maria!” Natasha shouts. “Come up here.” Her hands are crossed over her chest as she leans against the doorway.

Maria comes up, “what’s up?” She frowns, looking at Natasha with a questioning look, until she walks into the room. “Oh.”

“This is Kate, Y/N’s girlfriend and vigilante partner.” Natasha state.

“Is it now?” Maria takes a stance similar to Natasha, scaring both of the girls.

Clearing her throat, Kate offers her hand, but she doesn’t take any steps closer, so she is too far away to actually shake their hands. “I’m Kate. Bishop. Kate Bishop. Girlfriend. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Romanoff and Mrs. Hill.” She has a toothy smile, way too large to be genuine, though it falls when she realizes she’s still holding her hand up.

Natasha raises her brows at her rambling. “We know who you are, what we don’t know, is why you’re here while Y/N is grounded.”

“We-“

“Downstairs,” Maria interrupts Y/N from saying anything, “both of you.”

The four of them sit around the kitchen table, Kate and Y/N on one side, Natasha and Maria on the other. Kate is sitting unnaturally straight, hoping to show the two women that she is good enough for their daughter.

“So,” Natasha starts, “you two have been dating for a while.”

“And fighting crime.” Maria adds, making the couple shrink in their seats.

“Yeah.” Y/N mumbles. She’s holding onto Kate’s hand tightly, both of them clammy.

“That was totally my fault!” Kate suddenly shouts out, raising her hands, which ends up her banging her knuckles to the edge of the table, “shit, no, no, I don’t normally curse.” Her eyes are wide as she once again goes on a tangent. “I just mean, that, it was my plan to start fighting.”

Frowning, Y/N stops her girlfriend from talking, “no, it was both of our plan. You aren’t taking the blame for this.” She looks at her, her brows scrunched together.

“I don’t want your moms to be mad at you.” Kate whispers, though it’s loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Well, I don’t want them to be mad at you either.” Y/N whisper shouts back.

Natasha and Maria glance at each other, deciding for put an end to this before it goes on for too long, “we aren’t mad at anyone, so please, calm down you two. We just want to talk, set up some ground rules.”

“Like no fighting crime.” They calm down, Y/N more than Kate, as the latter is still incredibly nervous to be in front of the two women. “And no more sneaking in either.” Maria raises her brows as she turns to look at Kate.

“Sorry.” She mumbles, blushing under her gaze.

Natasha leans her elbows against the table. “We’ve been talking with Clint,” Kate perks up at the name of her mentor, “and if you two promise to follow the rules, we’ll start properly training you.”

“Really?” Y/N gasps.

“Yes, but,” Maria continues before the two can get too excited about it, “that means you two will not go out without one of us, the bedroom door stays open, and you’re still grounded.” She looks at Y/N.

“Uhuh, understood, we’ll follow every rule!”

“Every rule!” Kate echoes, quickly nodding, trying to hide her grin.

Maria chuckles while Natasha rolls her eyes with a grin on her face. “Alright.” Natasha stands up. “Go on then, go to Y/N’s room, keep the door open.”

With a giggle, Y/N stands up, takes hold of Kate’s hand, and starts pulling her towards her bedroom. They hug each other tightly once they’re inside, with the door open, and celebrate the potential of becoming real Avengers.

They jump onto the bed. “That didn’t go as badly as I thought.” Y/N smiles, leaning her head on Kate’s shoulder.

“It went well!” Kate wraps her arms around Y/N, pulling her on top with a laugh. “I love your moms.”

Y/N slaps her arm, “don’t love them more than me.” She grins.

“Never.” She kisses her, though it’s messy from all of their giggling.

[septembersghost]

okay, this is partial mass catch-up of tag games over the past three weeks 😘💖💖💖

tagged by @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie and @moonlayl

name: jess

star sign: virgo

height: 5′3"

time: 12:21 am mountain time as i start to type

birthday: september 13

favorite bands/artists: this is always one of the hardest things for me to answer because i love so many...but on the constant and current list: taylor swift, harry styles, niall horan, (i mean...1D by default since 2019 i'm not sorry, they became a very real source of joy at a time when i was desperately sad and have remained so), fall out boy, fleetwood mac, lord huron, florence + the machine, frank sinatra, barbra streisand, ella fitzgerald, sara bareilles, gabrielle aplin, lady gaga, sasha sloan, lizzy mcalpine (she's new to me but i'm saying her considering i've listened to her so often lately), idk an infinite number of artists i'm forgetting...i love music.

last movie: oh gosh. it might've been tick tick boom, i've barely watched movies lately!

last show: only murders in the building

when did i create this blog: november 2020, but i've been around tumblr since 2011-ish!

what i post: LOL. sweethearts, my little chili babies, you have seen this blog. i post...anything that catches my fancy. all my favorite things. i post a lot. i need help.

last thing i googled: "bald cartoon villain" @arthurwilde knows why 😂

other blogs: all my previous three blogs still exist and i periodically login to them to try and keep them from being deactivated, but i'm not actually on them anymore (i've thought many times about going back to or reclaiming @saferincages because i still think of this blog as temporary and that blog as home, but it feels wrong to do it somehow)

do i get asks?: i do and i appreciate them!

following: 170

average hours of sleep: uh. unfortunately i have no such thing because cfs/me is a curse upon my existence

instruments: sadly no

what i'm wearing: pink floral bambi pajamas

dream job: so i used to dream of being a voice actor (or singing voice) because i thought it would be so fun to embody characters and be able to pursue my passion for music without some of the stage fright that accompanies it when you're live in front of an audience, but in a more realistic realm i really would have loved to do something with music therapy to combine the passionate part of it with being able to help people.

dream trip: the south of france (it will never happen, ya girl is housebound)

nationality: american 

favorite songs: how on earth am i supposed to answer this, it's impossible ;___;

last book i've read: the not so chosen one by kate emery

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: rivendell from lotr, naboo from star wars (except not during the empire), whatever world they live in in the nightmare before christmas where i can walk between halloweentown and christmas land whenever i please 🎃🎄

besties this is only 23 questions and it said it was 30, i don't know where the other seven disappeared to!

***

tagged by @newromanticstv

a couple of these were the same as the above, so i only left the non-repeats!

relationship status: spinster

favourite colour: dusty rose pink

song stuck in my head: doomsday by lizzy mcalpine

something i want: to not be so terrified and worried every day? laughing/crying

***

tagged by @rogerhealey

fave color: since i already said my pink, let's add periwinkle blue!

currently reading: the baby-sitter's coven, next is don't tell a soul

latest song: the game of love by santana ft. michelle branch

latest series: better call saul (rewatch and S6), breaking bad (selective rewatch), bates motel, omitb, i need to catch up with what we do in the shadows (@rogerhealy i love that your list was all classics)

latest movie: if it wasn't the aforementioned tick tick boom, it was spiderman no way home, andrew garfield supremacy

sweet | spicy | savory (have to be careful with spice bc chronic illness issues)

currently working on: nothing planned!

***

tagged by: @endlesslydeath

post my top 5 tracks rn!

as i said, music questions are so difficult for me because i'm too emotional and attached! and if this is by current top plays i don't actually know lol, but i'm going to say on most frequent rotation lately are - satellite by harry styles, all my ghosts by lizzy mcalpine, my love by florence + the machine, johhny can't decide from the tick tick boom soundtrack, this love (taylor's version) by taylor swift

***

i am not tagging anyone to do these since it's several haphazardly mashed together, but as ever, you're welcome to take any of them and tag me so that i can see! <333 🥰

[the-greendalehumanbeings]

The part about Kate's trauma and grief being glossed over in both the show and book is such a mood. I honestly kind of dislike the whole resolution to her fear of storms because a) traumatic memories and irrational fears don't WORK like that, sometimes people have to actively try and unlearn those kinds of responses, and Kate was given none of the focus for that, and b) it just made her own trauma and complicated history go back to Anthony's irrational fear of love which also just had a baffling resolution (Colin just telling him to go back to his wife and Anthony's like "I'm magically cured"???). There's just too much buildup and potential yet zero work-through with either of these things. This is why I'm not really supportive much of book stans who go above and beyond for the book and gloss over not only these specific issues but the general way in which Kate is sort of "mellowed down" the minute her and Anthony marry, and the fact that the book just glosses over her having to suffer through her own insecurities while Anthony insists upon never loving her while also expecting her to be sexually available to him as his wife. I would've been completely fine if they continued to do it throughout their marriage when she still think he wouldn't love her, btw, but the book never grapples with how Kate could feel about that beyond being apparently dismissive of it, nor with how Anthony is actually being pretty shitty to her because he doesn't even offer her a full good explanation as to why he says this. This is a general problem in the show AND in the book: Anthony's not allowed to be shitty and viewed as the shitty guy that he is in various moments. The book has him kiss and grope her while she's in a state of fear and then he's fine with still pursuing Edwina and no one even bothers to think of how fucked up this is?? Instead Kate spends one day with him and is made to think he's a hero just because he escorted Penelope in his home when it's the most basic gesture you can make as a gentleman. Even in the show when you have him struggle with his engagement, he never offers any apology to Edwina or even considers to apologize to Kate. Like yeah ok I get it, mirrors of each other and all that but frankly Kate shouldn't be expected to just understand why Anthony proposed to her sister and then want to back out so much in the first place if he wasn't 100% serious about it AND he didn't spend half his time sniffing her like a dog. The show shifts the main conflict away from the trio to just Kate and Edwina by episode 7 and Anthony by then is almost completely fine?? Whereas both sisters suffer through having to get back into society's good graces by pretending it's all fine.

I’m assuming your referring to the tags on this post.

Yeah, the books did very little to explore kate's grief and trauma, and the show never improved on that. I see the argument that kate's grief and trauma were done to parallel her to Anthony a lot, and I agree, but the show does the same thing. Her role in the family and even her parentification, Mary's absence, is done to make her more similar to Anthony... it wasn't done for eldest daughters in Indian households representation. You can interpret it that way, but the writers didn't do that intentionally. And the changes to Kate's trauma are fine, but the show doesn't even explore any of it or the Sharma family history or dynamics. The epilogue acts like Kate is somehow magically healed by one convo with Mary and a declaration of love from Anthony. The one time Kate and Edwina talked about their father, it had to do with Anthony, which was very irritating. The show's best changes were hiring Simone Ashley, aging Kate up and getting rid of her insecurity over her looks. But ultimately, book and show stans should realise that both versions treated Kate's character and grief as an afterthought to Anthony and his character and grief.

It's wild how much show!anthony got away with. In the books, Anthony's shitty behaviour affected Kate, but in the show, it affected her and her entire family. His actions cause a massive scandal for them. But somehow, none of them are angry at him. Anthony proposes to her sister less than 12 hours after he nearly kisses her in the study, and the show doesn't even let her be mad. Like we see her be sad and devasted but not angry? I'm supposed to believe that she isn't angry at Anthony for doing that to her? or that she isn't angry at Anthony for stringing Edwina along?? I mean, the whole thing should be a complete lack of respect & consideration for both sisters. Kate is the type of person who would be angrier at someone hurting her loved ones than someone hurting her. Don't get me wrong, I still blame Anthony for 90% of what happened, and there isn't anything Kate could have done to stop him, but it's wild that Kate (and Mary and Edwina) aren't the slightest bit angry. But I think that has less to do with Kate's character and more to do with the fact that the show is allergic to having the Bridgerton main character face any consequences.

I think my biggest issue with the Edwina/Kate conflict is that it never really addresses the issues in their relationship. And I think that’s because they were never really allowed to talk about anything that wasn’t Anthony or related to Anthony in some way.  

[thefifthsister-notactive]

Fictober #15: The Light In His Eyes

Post Series

“Hey Alexis,” Kate called out, standing in the doorway of her stepdaughter's room. “You got a second?”

“Sure Kate, come in,” Alexis made room on the bed for Kate to sit, offering a hand to help the pregnant woman maintain her balance as she did so.

“Thanks,” Kate smiled at her, feeling self-conscious about needing the help but Alexis didn’t make a big deal out of it.

“What’s up?” Alexis asked.

“I need your help,” Kate told her.

Alexis smiled. “Sure, everything okay?”

“I messed up,” Kate admitted. “Your Dad wasn’t really excited for Halloween this year… and I get that. The first Halloween after my... “ She still couldn’t say shooting to Castle or Alexis, saw what that word could do to them. “But it’s your Dad’s favourite time of the year. Well, except for Christmas.”

Alexis nodded. She knew they’d been arguing over something but she kept out of it. As long as they mended it themselves, no separations or anyone leaving then she was staying out of it.

“Kate…”

“He asked me to go to Pattersons party with him,” Kate told her. “And I… I feel like a whale.” She admitted, pointing at her very pregnant stomach.

Alexis sympathised with her. “And you don’t want to dress up.”

Kate winced. “See, I wish I’d put it that way.” She sighed. “I know I’ve been… a lot to deal with lately. I’m sorry you and your Dad are putting up with these hormones. But can you please help me plan something to make it up to him?”

Alexis smiled. Kate was trying so hard to recover, deal with pregnancy and they were all getting their bearings around this and she could see the woman felt guilty.

“Kate, Dad loves you,” Alexis reminded her. “But you know what he’s like when he gets an idea. I have a hard time talking him out of things half the time too.”

Kate smiled. “That’s sweet. But I think I need to fix this one.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Can you help me find something to wear?” Kate asked. “I’d normally ask Lanie but I was kind of hoping you might agree to a family thing. I think that would help him get past this nervousness.”

Alexis smiled. “Okay, I’m in.”

“I owe you,” Kate smiled.

“Give me a sister and we’ll call it even,” Alexis teased. “Maybe we could do movie night. Still dress up, eat candy but you’ll be more comfortable that way if you don’t want to go to this party.”

“Working on that first part,” Kate smirked. “Thanks Alexis. I don’t even know why your Dad wants to go. I practically had to drag him away from Patterson last time when they devolved into a heated debate over quality versus quantity.”

Alexis laughed. “Have I ever mentioned how glad I am you took over bailing him out at those parties?”

Kate grinned. She really adored Alexis and the last few months they’d finally had a chance to grow closer, the red head excited for the baby in a way Kate hadn't really expected. She had been a rock for Kate and for Castle through everything lately.

“I might have to tag you back in next time,” Kate teased.

Alexis grabbed her laptop and the two got comfortable, searching websites for something that would bring a smile to Castle’s face.

Alexis started laughing. “I know he would enjoy this,” Alexis pointed at a pumpkin dress for herself. “He already fills my room with pumpkins this time of year. I guess I could dress up for him.”

Kate smiled. She could picture the light in his eyes if Alexis did that for him.

“Oh, look, maternity,” Alexis gasped. “Pumpkin for the new pumpkin.”

Kate cringed. “I have always hate the color orange. Besides, you will always be his one and only pumpkin. Your sister will never change that.”

“I know,” Alexis nodded. It was something she’d talked to him about. A lot. Both of them never wanted Alexis to feel like she wasn’t part of this family. She was important to Kate and would always be Castle’s baby. “Consider it my first matching costume with my sister. Look they do it in black.”

Kate looked and smiled. “I actually kind of like that. It looks…”

“You can say sexy, Kate,” Alexis laughed. 

“Order them,” Kate told her. “Let me get my card.”

She was actually looking forward to Halloween herself now.

Prompt: “I always hated the colour orange”

[the-forest-library]

Mid-Year Reading Update

Tagged by: @readingrobin and @letthebookbegin - thank you!

Amount of books you’ve read so far: 211 (look, I basically am almost always listening to an audiobook).

Best book you’ve read so far in 2022: Here are three that really stood out so far: The Invisible Kingdom by Meghan O’Rourke, Ten Steps to Nanette by Hannah Gadsby, and Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake.

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2022: Rivals (American Royals III). The second book in this series seriously disappointed, but the third book brought the magic back. It was a really satisfying read. 

New release you haven’t read yet but want to: Two I am particularly eager for: Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel and The Wedding Season by Katy Birchall. 

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year: The Final Gambit by Jennifer Lynn Barnes.

Biggest surprise favorite new author (debut or new to you): Patricia Lockwood. I had no idea what I was getting into with No One Is Talking About This, but it was so much fun and super inventive. And, she’s Miette’s owner - that was quite a neat surprise. 

Newest fictional crush: I quite enjoyed Liam from Here for the Drama by Kate Bromley. 

Book that made you cry: None.

Book that made you happy: I love a good royalty romance, and American Royalty by Tracey Livesay did not disappoint. 

Most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year (or received): I pre-ordered Scattered Showers by Rainbow Rowell, and I think that cover is pretty and fun.

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?: As usual, I am taking part in lots of reading challenges, including Popsugar Reading Challenge, 22 in 2022, Beat the (Not Quite) Backlist, and Forgotten YA Gems Summer Reading Challenge, so I have books that I need to read to complete those prompts. 

Tagging: I am way behind on this one, and I know a bunch of people have already done it. If you haven’t, and would still like to, consider yourself tagged.