#dm me if you want those. i think i have them.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

In Bloom 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, allusions to trauma, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After wasting much of your youth in a toxic situation, things are starting to look up. That’s until you meet a certain flower seller.

Characters: Cole Turner, short!reader

Note: It's a fine Tuesday.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You walk around the market with your cone. Strawberry. You never really had ice cream much, not until Aunt Bev. It's good but sweet. The coldness makes your head ache. 

As you traverse the crowd, you grow overwhelmed. So many people in one place makes your head spin. Aunt Bev is too distracted by all the sights and sounds to notice when you drop your cone. You leave it on the ground and keep going. 

A girl stands behind a table of goods. Second-hand but pretty. Purses with hand-sewn patterns and crochet sweaters with frilly collars. They're cute. You browse from afar but don't point them out. A large blond man blocks her from your view and your nerves get the of you. 

As you look back to your aunt, you don't find her. Where is she? She was just there. 

You spin and search the crowd. She's not there. What happened? You only looked away for a moment. 

Your heart picks up as you stumble back. Your lashes flutter and your lungs burn. What do you do? You hug tight the flower pot with one arm, your other hand on your purse. Oh no, no, no. 

You turn and rush through the first opening you see. You just need to get in the clear then you can find her. You need somewhere to see her from. A vantage point to get your bearings.  

You keep telling yourself it will be okay but it doesn't feel okay. You rush past people, a smear of faces and bodies all around, the world a cacophony to your ears. You break free of the press and gasp for air. 

Just as you think you're free, you crash into something. Someone. You step back and look up. You know them.  

It's that flower seller. Cole. He barely catches the pot before it slips from your arm. 

“Hey, you alright?” He asks as he helps you get a hold of the daylilies. “Where's Bev?” 

You crane to see over your shoulder then look back to him. You shake your head and give a frazzled grimace. You can't even speak. 

“You lost her, didn't you?” He says, “no worries, you can hang out with me. Mrs. Lee was just watching my booth while I ran to the bathroom. I'm on my way back now.” 

You push your shoulders higher and bounce on your heels. You don't know what else to do. He's the only other familiar face there, even if he is a stranger still. 

You nod and clutch the plant tighter. He gestures you ahead of him and you step past him. He points you towards his stall, directing you with his voice. Even from behind, you can sense his size, you can feel how big he is. You know what damage someone your own size can wrought, so to even imagine what he could do, if he wanted, chills you to the bone. 

You slow as you near the table of plants and pots. He skirts around you, beckoning you behind the long table at the front. A woman with rosy cheeks smiles to greet him. 

“There you are. And you found a friend, no wonder you took so long,” she chides. 

“Sorry, it’s a bit hectic,” Cole rubs his forehead. 

“Oh, I understand,” she winks at you. 

“Mrs. Lee,” Cole motions to her as he introduces her, “you know Bev, this is her niece. She’s looking for her aunt.” 

“Ah, I’m sure you’ll find her,” Mrs. Lee says, “I’ll let her know if I see her. Cole will keep you good company.” 

“Ha, er, thanks, Mrs. Lee,” he sniffs, “I don’t wanna keep you any longer. Thanks for watching the booth.” 

“I tell you all the time, you should get some help,” she tuts, “see you around.” 

She waves at you as she sidles out from the booth and you watch her cross to her own, just across from Cole’s. He turns to you, sweeping back a stray shank of hair back into a fluffy swoop. You look around nervously. You feel bad for intruding. You’d hate to get in his way. 

“Here, sit,” he outstretches his arm to the chair as he touches your shoulder. 

He surprises you and you wince away from him. You don’t argue. You shouldn’t. He’s being nice and he’s trying to help you. Even if you never asked. Even if you barely know him. He gives you a smile and lifts his chin, peering around over the heads of the crowd around him. 

You sit and cross your ankles. You rock nervously as you find yourself walled in by the flowers. There isn’t much space between you and Cole. He’s distracted from his search by some approaching customers. He serves them in the same gentle tone he had you and Aunt Bev.  

You feel worse the longer you sit there. You’re like a child. You just turned twenty-five and you’re still just a burden to everyone. 

You feel your pulse racing and your ears thrumming. The longer you sit there, the more helpless you feel. Your vision skews and you put your chin down, staring at the yellow petals as you try to rein in your panic. Will Aunt Bev come find you? 

“You okay?” Cole’s voice makes you flinch. 

You look up at him and just stare. A droplet of sweat rolls down from your hairline as the sun beats into your scalp. He grabs the bottle of water from beneath the front table and bends to look you in the eye. You shy away as he puts the back of his fingers to your cheek. 

“You’re pretty warm. You should have something to drink,” he advises as he pulls back his hand to uncap the bottle, “here. It’s fresh. Yours.” 

You look at him dumbly then the bottle. You move the pot to balance on your lap, one hand on the rim, as you take the water with your other. You shakily hold it and put it to your lips. You are awfully thirsty. 

“Is that—Cole!” Your aunt calls shrilly and appears on the other side of the table, “oh thank god! I’ve been running around searching everywhere. You found her.” She touches her chest, a swoon trembling on her lip, “oh, how can I ever thank you?" 

Cole turns, standing straight. Once more his figure makes you feel even smaller. 

“No need. She was just hanging out,” he turns his hands out, “no big deal, right? Everyone’s in one piece. Lost and found.” 

“Oh, but you didn’t have to...” she fans herself and glances at you. You don’t miss the gesture she tries to make subtle as she beckons him further down the table. You look at the flowers as she lowers her voice. You can’t make out her words but you assume she’s warning him about you. 

“Honey, we should go,” she chirps as Cole backs up, “Lena will be worried.” 

“Alright,” you stand, hands full as your purse slips to dangle at your elbow. 

Cole faces you and you can barely look at him. It isn’t just that he frightens you, it’s his expression. It must be whatever your aunt told him. 

“Thanks,” you croak as you near and offer him the bottle back. 

“Keep it,” he says as he shows his palms, “please. Go. Have a happy birthday.” 

You put your head down and brush by him. It’s tight behind the table but he could move more, couldn’t he? Your aunt clings to your arm as you come close. 

“Oh, Cole, you are a life saver,” she says, “I owe you one.” She tugs you away from the flowers, “come on, hon. Are you okay?” 

You nod as you let her usher you away. You’ve had enough excitement for one day, even your birthday. You just want to go back to her house and figure out where to plant the daylilies. You know that won’t be what happens. You have to paste on a smile and eat cake, be the good girl you were raised to be. 

🪻

The sun bores down on your back as you keep your head down to the light. You sit amid the soil, pulling out errant weeds as you check the stems and petals for any signs of pest. There is only you and the smell of dirt, the vibrance of a multitude of hues, and the low hum of insects crawling and flying around the lush garden. 

In those moments, you can forget. There is no noise in your head, there are no memories, there is only beauty. Time is nothing. You exist in a standstill. 

"How lucky I am to have a diligent little gardener," Aunt Bev frightens you from your foiliage-induced meditation, "it looks wonderful out here. I'm afraid if it were up to me, it may have all turned brown." 

"Oh, uh," you fall of your knees, sitting on your bum as you turn to see her, "sorry, is it late?" 

"No, hon, I'm just checking on you," she smiles. 

You push your lips together and dust off your hands, "how was work?" 

"Good, thanks for asking," she comes down the steps of the deck and sits on the lowest one, "How's it going out here? It looks spectacular?" 

"Mmm, I had to pull the petunias, there was an infestation," you point to the barren patch. "Sorry." 

"Oh, well that's fine," she smiles, "I'm sure Cole can come up with some suggestions for a replacement." 

You nod and purse your lips. The reminder of him makes you cringe inside. You're still embarrassed to think of how lost you were at the market. You must have come off as a weirdo. 

"He's coming for dinner so he'll want to check out the garden," she chimes. 

"Coming for dinner?" You repeat, "tonight?" 

"Of course," she laughs as if it's no big deal. "I want to thank him for keeping you safe last week. Again, I'm so sorry, honey, I didn't mean to lose you like that." 

"It's... it's okay. I'm an adult, I..." you falter. You're an adult but you've never lived like one. 

"I know. You are. You're so very mature but you're also special and you need a little extra care, just like you do for the flowers." 

You hum flatly and look away. She always has such a nice way of saying the ugly things. You know exactly what she means. You're all messed up in your head. 

“Mm, okay, I...” you glance at your clothes. Your jeans are smeared with dirt and your nails are filthy. You blanch and look at your aunt. 

“No worries, you finish up out here,” she smiles, “then you can come in and get cleaned up. He won’t be here for...” she pauses to check her watch, “more than an hour.” 

“Right, er...” you blink. You always feel so lost. You never know what the proper thing to do it but you’re learning. “Could-- can I help with anything?” 

She smiles, “oh, that’s so sweet of you to offer. If you like, you can make a salad. Your uncles going to fire up the barbecue, he doesn’t want to heat up the house too much. And it’ll be nice to eat outside and admire all your hard work.” 

“Um, okay,” you grab the trowel and your forgotten gloves, disposed to allow for more tactile grip, “I’m pretty much done now.” 

You stand and shake off the rest of the dirt. She gets up too, groaning as she rubs her lower back. You cross to trail her up the steps and can’t help a mope. You love your Aunt Bev, she’s done so much for her, but you will never be like her or the rest of them. You’re trying but you just don’t think you’ll ever be normal. 

You put the towel in the orange pot with the rest of the garden tools and drop the gloves on top. You kick your shoes off before you follow Aunt Bev through the sliding door. You leave your dirt caked treads on the mat and go to wash your hands. 

As you try to decide what to put in the salad, you get an idea, the kind that tickles your brain. You finish scrubbing under your nails and dry your hands. You wander out to find Aunt Bev, your nerves flurrying. Maybe you should ask. You already have so much. 

“Hey, hon, what’s up?” She appears as she tugs on the hem of a loose flowered tee, “you look lost.” 

“Oh, erm, I was thinking... about the salad,” you wring your hands and shrug, “it was silly though.” 

“What?” She looks excited, “now you have to tell me.” 

“Well, er, what if... what if I grew some tomatoes? We could put them in salads.” 

“Ah, that’s lovely!” She claps her hands, “you’ll have to ask Cole about that too.” 

You fold your arms and tuck your chin down. Cole... just the mention of him makes you tense. It’s enough that you’re always surrounded by people; Lena, Mason, Uncle Morris. You can’t handle another new face, another person to deal with. Even he did help you, you never asked for it. 

[bambi-slxt]

okay buckle up, i have a new lesson for y'all today:

here's why 18+ kink or smut blogs don't wanna interact with minors:

it's not because we hate you.

it's because, In The Eyes Of The Law, what we post and talk about is Not Suitable For Minors.

if we post something and you see it, like it, comment on it, reblog it, etc, we could be Put In Jail For Giving Porn To A Minor.

it's not about you, genuinely. i have some lovely friends irl who are under 18, old mates from school, younger siblings of my friends, kids i babysit, etc - you should be friends with people of all ages to expand your horizons in my opinion, and having older friends who aren't predatory can actually keep you safe from predators.

all of that to say - there's a reason we put "Minors Don't Interact" on our blogs.

i think y'all are funny, sweet, and incredibly worthy of every good thing that comes your way in life regardless of what age you are.

but i write porn. my rules say MDNI. it's not a joke. it's not for fun. too many times have i yapped with someone for a while and gotten along quite well before i remembered to look at their profile and found out they were a minor, or saw that they didn't post their age and asked them, only to find out they were a minor.

i don't want to go to jail. i also don't want to screen every single dm or interaction i get to make sure you have an age in your bio, and it's 18 or older.

i'm not saying that every 18+ year old who has friends that are minors is a pedophile. again, i've been saved many times by my older friends who looked out for me when i was a kid - i needed those connections.

but those interactions weren't based off of the fact that those older kids wrote smut that i liked to read.

please be careful guys. drink your water, eat some fruit, and for the love of god regulate your media consumption.

[the5thcellar]

my girls who don't want to listen to deuxmoi's podcast but desperately want to know what she said about Luke and Nicola: don't worry. i did it for you LOLLL.

TL;DR - she said absolutely NOTHING of note.

DM said Luke and Antonia are together (duh) - that there are pap pics of them from NYE locking lips and that the recent pap photos generated a lot of controversy because the info DM obtained from the photog on where he took the pics did not align with what fans found out (ie outside their hotel vs outside the premiere venue)

moving on to Nicola - DM keeps posting bait about her possibly being married / in a r/s because of the position of her claddagh ring. Irish girls told DM it doesn't mean anything because Nic wears it on her middle finger, but she also had people telling her it DOES mean something..... zero conclusion. DM said someone definitively told her Nicola isn't married (any idiot would know that)... but that she's dating. DM concludes by saying she's defo not dating Eamon or Luke and it could be a normie.

end of discussion they don't say anything else.

you're welcome. I saved y'all precious minutes of your lives listening to baseless speculation I could produce with my eyes closed.

I think I've had more substantial content from the asks I get than whatever the fuck they discussed.

I've not opened anon back up for now - I'm enjoying peace. but please don't ask me if my views have changed about Luke or Nic because the answer is fuck no I stick by my views and I will until I'm six feet under.

for those who believe everything DM says: get help. she's a GREAT source of celeb sightings etc but her information is often very much based on hearsay. let's not forget she insisted Taylor and Joe were engaged / secretly married for close to a year... and then they broke up lollllll

for those who think everything DM says is rubbish: not at all. there are often very very useful nuggets of info - you just need to discern what seems most likely and what's just clickbait.

listen to some chappell roan and enjoy the start of the weekend folx.

[sexhaver]

hey I have an ungraded Alpha Chaos Orb I got from a blind egg machine in the 90s. how do I get it graded and what's the best move for me with this thing? should I sell it, or is it going to continue to acquire value?

ohhhhh man that's a Spicy Meatball. first step would be getting ahold of a jeweler's loupe and doing some basic at-home checks for whether or not it's fake. the most common is the Green Dot Test where you look at the green dot on the back of the card:

there are also some other tests you can do but the efficacy of those can vary depending on the set the card is from (i.e. sometimes legit cards can still fail); r/mtgfinance is very helpful with walking you through the specifics of these

once you determine it's not an obvious fake, the next step would be getting it graded. the gold standards here are Beckett and PSA. picking which one to use is a subject of great debate; generally PSA is preferred by Pokemon collectors and stores in Japan, whereas Beckett is preferred by MTG whales (i.e. your target audience). PSA is more lenient on specifically the centering of the card though so it might be worth sending it into them depending on how that looks. also before sending the card in to any service, get multiple high-quality scans of the front and back in case a dispute arises. both Beckett and PSA are wayyyy more reputable than that card service i posted about a few days back that just declares their customers' cards fake and then steals them, but when dealing with something this expensive it pays to be cautious. i would also recommend insuring the package you mail it to them in

once you get a grade, you can decide how to proceed from there. Chaos Orb specifically is banned in basically everything so it really only has value as a collectable, which means you can probably just leave it in the plastic "slab" you'll get it back in. on the plus side, it has a LOT of value as a collectable. i don't have a finger on the pulse of alpha card prices but you're looking at multiple thousands of dollars minimum. however, you are going to run into some issues because 1. you're someone with no sale history selling a really rare and expensive card and 2. there are so few Alpha Chaos Orbs floating around that there aren't really enough sales to pin down a market price, but not so few sales that you want to go through an auction house. you definitely do not want to sell to a physical LGS (local game store) because they are not going to beat the best offer you can find online (they mostly have the edge when selling in bulk). your best bets here are probably either ebay or this facebook group, but bear in mind that ebay takes some percentage of the sale (i think 14%?) and tends to side with the buyer unconditionally if a dispute arises. if you take the facebook route, DO NOT ACCEPT OFFERS FROM PEOPLE SLIDING INTO YOUR DMS. THEY ARE LOWBALLING YOU.

im answering this one publicly so people can chime in if they have any other advice they want to share, but in any case, your first step here is to get your hands on a jeweler's loupe

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

since zionists are coming to whine in my dms that I’m so mean for supporting Palestinians who “had it coming for being terrorists” (yeah, zionists are definitely not racist, huh?), let me make this very simple.

Let’s say your great-great grandparents built a home on some land. They built it by hand, and your family has lived there for generations, fixing it up as old things needed renovations or just stopped working or they just wanted to make it compatible with new things like electricity when that came out. You grew up there, your parents grew up there, and your grandparents grew up there, and now you have children of your own starting to grow up there too.

You loved that house, it’s the only home you’ve ever known and years of loving care had made it beautiful, it even has a garden that your great grandparents planted olive trees in, and of course by now it’s a flourishing orchard. Your family are the only ones who had ever lived in that house, but your family had become quite diverse throughout the decades as children grew up and married, some new family members looked and lived quite like you, and some looked and lived differently, and you thought little of it because, why would you?

Then one day a stranger comes by with a feed to your family’s home, claiming the government had settled a deal that since this stranger’s great-great-great-great grandparents first owned that land and were forced off of it by people who looked a bit like you. The stranger gives you an ultimatum to leave the land immediately because they consider it to rightfully belong to them, or die. Some of your family flees, you don’t blame them, but you stand your ground as best as you can, but the stranger has guns, and strong friends to supply them. They kill your mother, blind your father, kidnap many of your siblings and cousins and so you take your children and anyone who’s left and flee to the far side of the property, on the half still allowed to them by the government’s ruling. For a time it’s fine, but the stranger wasn’t satisfied, and finds you again in the new home you were building. See, the way the stranger sees it, their ancestors had originally owned ALL of that property, so they figured that was what they were owed. You plead with them to let you stay, or even just to not hurt your family. Your pleas are denied.

This time they killed your children. They killed your cousins. They killed most of your siblings. Your family and your home, all gone in front of your eyes.

Do you think you would still care whether or not the stranger was right about who owned that plot of land first, or would you perhaps care more about what they just did to everything you held dear?

Zionists like to say “well hamas should have never ever taken hostages” and feign ignorance as to why hamas is gaining support at an exponential rate.

It’s not that complicated. If your options are stand there and get shot or get a gun and shoot back, are you really going to pretend to be confused by most people going with the second option?

No. You aren’t. You want to spin the narrative that people calling for a free Palestine are terrorists who want to see the death of all jews and some nebulous “scary muslim takeover”, but I know you’re not that dumb. I know you've seen videos posted by the IDF’s own beating, kidnapping, and killing civilians. I know you’re not stupid enough to honestly believe those are all terrorists, even the children. I know most of you aren’t even under the delusion hamas is just like ISIS.

This is deliberate. Genocide is easiest when the aggressor plays victim to try to say it’s self defense, but here’s the thing—

It doesn’t matter how many times you claim otherwise, hind did not deserve to die. If she was the ONLY child the IDF killed intentionally, that would be unforgivable, but given there are tens of thousands of children that have lost life or limb at the hands of the IDF, it’s indefensible. It’s murder. A child trapped in a car with her family’s bodies after the IDF attacked being used to lure out aid workers and kill them all at once is just evidence you have lost your humanity. I hate that I even have to only talk about the children because you think every adult in Palestine is secretly an evil terrorist, it’s a lot harder to say that about a child with an age in the single digits, but many of you still try to anyway.

Racism is a hell of a thing, and some of you are a little too drawn in by the idea of killing all the brown people in a region so you can build beach resorts and theme parks.

If Palestinian land is so sacred and divinely promised to the Israelis to the point the Israeli government considers all rain fall to be explicitly property of israel, why are you taunting it with the blood of the innocent and desperate?

I don’t know, I think if anyone but a Zionist tried to justify bombing hospitals and dressing as aid workers to kill as many of an ethnic group as possible, people may be a bit reasonably against that, but for some reason it’s fine as long as the group committing the genocide has enough oppression points stocked up from previous incidents.

[nintendonut1]

I absolutely despise making posts like these, I just turned 35 years old and have little room in my life for online drama, but this has gotten to the point where folks' actual safety has become a legit concern of mine, so I don't think I can let this go without saying something.

At this point, for everyone in the SMRPG sub-fandom, or any other fandoms, honestly, it's probably a safe bet to block Yoylecake420 wherever you see them.

I don't have time for details or screenshots, I'll just summarize my personal experience with them.

At first, I got plenty of asks from them about their hyperfixations here on tumblr. I'm busy as hell, so most of them got lost in my inbox, and the ones I saw I had little time to entertain with an answer.

Then, they joined my Discord about a month ago, where they were active in sharing their art and stuff. Then me and the mods caught wind of them sending unsolicited DMs and friend requests to various members of the server, often with uncomfortable topics. We gave them a fair warning to stop. They did not.

This repeated behavior ended in a ban from the server. During this, they were also repeatedly making a mockery of my webcomic's OCs by making uncomfortable art/captions and submitting the characters to Kiss-Marry-Kill-style blogs despite me asking them not to, so I blocked them on Discord, Tumblr, deviantArt, and Art Fight. I know this is small potatoes compared to harassing people, but it's important context for the following.

A day after the ban from my server, they joined up the Spiderforest server, knowing I'm a part of that webcomic community. I was even warned by the mods, who were aware of Yoyle's behavior as they had already been messaging the SF tumblr about my comic.

A week later, they joined ComicFury, and replied to me on the forum, complimenting my work. Like nothing had ever happened. Like I didn't have them blocked everywhere else. Like they hadn't fully disrespected me, my work, and my community.

I directly messaged them telling them to leave me alone. Their response was a slight apology, but also admitting to being obsessed with my work, having a hard time moving on, and, ultimately, wanting the attention.

So. There it is. It pains me, knowing this is giving them the attention they want, but I'm too fucking old for games like that and the need for me to look out for everyone's safety is more important.

Yoyle is a person who does not care about others' personal boundaries. If you ignore them, they persist. If you tell them to stop, they do for a day or two, and then persist again. And if you block them, they'll evade it and stalk you to somewhere else on the internet.

Of course, it's not my place to tell anyone how to interact with others, but I am suggesting a pre-emptive block if you make, at the very least, Geno fanart, and aren't interested in being harassed across multiple platforms and having your boundaries stomped on. I do not suggest interacting with them, as they are the embodiment of "give them an inch and they'll take a mile."

I've got one screenshot here from a friend of all their alt accounts (this is publicly available on their main tumblr) for any pre-emptive blocking on those sites:

[ae-neon]

@shadowqueenjude I was recently complaining about this in replies and DMs but you reminded me so I might as well make a post. Lets say sjm didn't want to make the pov switch in acomaf (ignoring that's almost exactly what ended up happening anyway post trilogy)

Then sjm should have done better for Feyre

First of all, we needed more put into the Cursebreaker title, even if it was burdensome to her, it still centred her. It was Feyre who should have given the HL speech not Nesta, Feyre is literally a living embodiment of the unification of the powers of the 7 courts

Also my personal opinion that Feyre shouldn't have been made High Lady by him but that by default she could be High Lady of literally any court because she holds a drop from each. Again, centring her and not him. It also makes the possibility of Feyre choosing Tarquin but ultimately picking Rhysand have more weight

On that topic. No mating bond. I know it's an sjm romance staple but let's be brutally honest about it.

each Archeron sister is an anomaly to the acotar universe, they should not exist and are not bound by the same magical physics so why would they have designated mates.

Feyre again has the magic of all 7 not just 1. If anything she should be recognised (by magic if not by law) more like a High Queen than a High Lady

SJM apparently ends up taking the "first High Lady" title from her anyways

As disgusting as it is, the acotar mating bond IS a magical eugenics programme and according to the lore, Lesser Fae are "less" than High Fae. Why would a being who is beyond High Fae be mates with a half or Lesser Fae.

Same way it doesn't make sense that human Feyre (or Nesta) could be mates with a half or full Illyrian. The wings would kill a damn near higher being but wouldn't kill a human?? I don't think they'd even make it full term

In conclusion no mates or their mates are higher beings like them but they reject those bonds in favour of love, showing their human values overrule Fae magic. Tying into Feyre's human heart (make it mean something!!)

So, Feyre chooses Rhysand

Now, if the NC is split into basically 3 autonomous zones, we needed to see her interact and integrate herself into those three in a way that matters. Something beyond the superficial title.

Keep Feyre's star motif as HERS. It's a pretty dehumanising take but she has that thought about being a star who only shines as bright because of his darkness or something. Anyways. Give her the star tattoo.

For some reason her bargain tattoos have a similar swirl pattern to Illyrian tats, cut that out and rather have her do the bloodrite and earn the tattoos.

If sjm insists on keeping the CoN scene, write it better. And change the values of the CoN to hedonism so they embrace her introduction to court.

Put up a statue of Feyre in the Rainbow

Give Feyre her own place (not physically but politically and socially) in Velaris. Let her learn to read at the library and befriend some priestesses. It's literally that easy

Now

One complaint I made again and again was the KoH not being Feyre's villain. Sure he turns her sisters but after that he's so focused on getting her sisters and beefing with Rhysand, it doesn't feel like Feyre's at the centre of it by design but rather by default

So make something like her resurrection in book 1 was a result of her stealing Amarantha's power. We know Amarantha was able to become that powerful because she stole from Hybern. whatever it is, he wants it back.

Then, have Feyre actually fighting in the war not running around observing and doing side quests. HAVE FEYRE ACTUALLY INVOLVED IN THE SERIES VILLAIN'S DEATH??? (sjm is a hack fraud) Then she dies and is resurrected by the High Lords at the end of wings and ruin.

Cut the vassa storyline it's nonsense

Full circle from book 1 with a mirror ending!!!

Ultimately these are small changes that don't alter the course of the story (the way making Feyre naturally shielded instead of Nesta or switching pov to Nesta in acomaf would) but it helps

[iaus]

so. the nature of epilogue made it really hard to hammer home the fact that. while porter did care about jace he was pulling strings. he was lining jace up to be his perfect little pet sorcerer.

and part of it i think is that i had to cut porter's reaction/discovery of jace's spell thiefing (which is a homebrew boss mechanic i made specifically for jace... and will be borrowing)

eli. if you read this i'm doing bad things to your new adopted wyrmling.

also i go over some mechanical stuff that... justifies jace to me. if you don't wanna read that skip to the giant ANYWAY.

and also. this post. is a doozy and i cannot tell how coherent it is tbh. so uh. if you read the whole thing. i love you.

first thing's first. this "stealing" that jace does was literally me saying fuck rules as written i HATE rules as written i want jace to have cool powers that porter would have IMMEDIATELY been interested in and wanted under his control.

the long and short i have jace as a level 20 divine sorcerer with a unique action that i have crafted. just for him. because if he's not porter's specialest sorcerer he's mine.

Spell Thief 3/Long Rest

You harness the source of your magic and use it to rip a spell from the Weave itself. This is considered extremely dangerous to you and those around you. You do not require components for the spell you steal, unless using this to resurrect a dead creature. The spell you steal does not have to be from your class list but 1) cannot be a spell you currently know 2) cannot be a spell higher than your casting level. (For example, a 5th level caster cannot use this to manifest the Wish spell.) With DM’s discretion, you can use this to steal higher level spells, but this may incur grievous consequences. The first time you use this feature priming the spell is a DC [10+Spell Level] spell check. Upon each success or failure, the DC raises by 5+Spell Level. To use this feature, roll a primer check [1d20 +Spell Casting Modifier +Proficiency] to see if you can manifest the spell. Whether the spell is successfully stolen or not, roll a CON saving throw at the end of your turn to determine the cost of your spell. Use the table provided below to determine the price.

i won't put the table in but the consequences vary from everyone around you has to roll a dex saving throw or take take [Spell Level Summoned] d20 + [Spell Level Summoned] force damage (the sorcerer always fails this save) to you can never cast the spell you stole again to you permanently lose spell slots to there are actually no physical draw backs (20+ save).

so as you can see this is a pretty fucking powerful ability. i'm going to be using it for a boss fight later in my campaign.

but anyway. giving jace this ability automatically makes him interesting to porter. it gives porter a reason to actually pursue jace (besides finding him attractive because i find porter being desperately attracted to jace so funny all the time, sorry man).

ANYWAY.

the (multiple) cut scene(s) i have from chapter 11 is one that gives a lot more detail to porter first bringing up that he knows about what happened to jace in college. but. due to how epilogue is written and presented it was JANKY. like it did not mesh well at all there was no reason for jace to think about what happened in college even IF it was a flashback with porter. the other thought was to have jace pass out after using his spell thief ability and to have a dream about rage!porter we saw in the finale.

this also felt janky and i didn't want to do any more dream scenes after chapter 6.

but this leads to these two cut instances of porter (in their first year of hooking up, because. though they don't really gel imo my first fic does lead into/happen in the same universe). i'm gonna put both of them here to kinda see what i was working with and to show why this ultimately got cut.

version 1 (scene that got cut quickly because the tone didn't match):

Jace had hummed, thought to say something snippy like speak for yourself, but stayed quiet and let himself relax in Porter’s hands. He wasn’t sure how long they had sat like that before Porter ruined it by saying, “Wanted to ask you something.” The memory of the incident—as Jace had taken to calling it during his later years at Aguefort—was fuzzy at best. The campus police reports filed were much more detailed. He had told Porter as much at the time, mood souring as he pulled back. “If you’re that fucking curious just pull up the paperwork. It’s easy enough to find. Especially since you’re a fucking adventurer.” “Hold on—we don’t have to talk about it.” Porter had sounded remorseful. As if he actually regretted upsetting Jace. He still pulled back. The blue and white snowflakes illuminated a dark look on Porter’s face. “Listen—” “I need to go home.” “Let me drive you.”

and version 2 (which almost made it into the final draft):

This—whatever volatile, greedy thing inside him made it possible to do this—it seemed no one could take it from him. Porter had asked him about it once that first year they knew each other—had tried to play sweet at the Moonar Yulenear party and told Jace he had wanted his help on a faculty adventuring quest over the break. You were flagged when I tried to add you to the roster, Porter had said with a frown, said you were… what was the list called. Jace had left the party—drove home tipsy and ignored Porter’s calls and messages for the next three days. He’d been intent on ignoring Porter the entire break until he showed up at Jace’s townhouse with a coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Didn’t think you were gonna be rid of me for three weeks, did you? He’d been charmed. And Porter didn’t ask about the list again.

i am kind of disappointed that this ultimately was decided to be not.... jace enough to make it into the final draft but. what i'm about to say is going to reveal WHY it could not make it into the final draft:

porter, to me, is a little too... overt. almost creepy in theses scenes (which i was angling for). but for the context of epilogue where jace is romanticizing and pining for this idealized porter he has in his head... it didn't work.

this is porter angling to get something from jace. he's fishing for information about what jace did in college and whether jace felt remorse over it or not, he shuts it down and porter then has a reaction to it. in version 1 even jace manages to notice a "dark look" and this is in their first year of being a situationship!

this is a little peek into what epilogue porter actually was. it's really hard to get a read on him in epilogue since he is a memory/ghost for the entire story and we are viewing him in this hopeless, searching for meaning jace who cannot see himself without this man who has abused, used, and killed him. he is coping by only remembering the good things about porter-- he is seeing porter as a man who loved him so much he had to kill him, who wanted jace so much that he was doomed to never leave.

it's what he's always wanted-- no one has ever wanted him like this, chased him like this. but the problem is we can't see porter's thoughts in this. as author of this horrid little universe i know the approximate truth that these two unreliable men hold for each other and i can say that i do think porter loves jace. he sees it as love, but there's a lot of dark shit. a lot of isolating, patronizing, possessive unhealthy ownership happening that makes it, imo, inevitable for jace to break down the way he does.

he doesn't want the reader to see that in epilogue though.

he wants to frame this as a i need to get back the only person in my life who loves and gives a shit about me.

but in his need to do this, he glosses over really dark shit about porter and their relationship.

to continue that version 1 scene a little:

Porter rubbed the curve of his hip and smiled indulgently. “C’mon, Jace. I’m being a considerate coworker.” That had made it worse, somehow. “Sober me up. You do it all the time.” “Tapped out—some of the seniors got rowdy last period.” Jace rolled his eyes. “Fine. Take me home. One condition.” Porter hummed, still rubbing circles along Jace’s hip. “No. Asking me about.” He waved his hands vaguely. Porter had agreed, then stood and tucked Jace under his arm. Told everyone they passed: Stardiamond’s cut off. Just looking out for him. “You,” Jace had announced as Porter fiddled with the climate control. “Did that on purpose.” Porter grinned at him. “It’s winter break. Everyone will forget about it.”

[...]

“It was an accident,” Jace finally said, head feeling unfortunately clearer. He recognized the streets. They weren’t going downtown; they were still in Tillering—winding the streets to Porter’s house. “It was… like a wild magic surge.” Porter had stayed quiet, keeping his eyes on the road. Snow was finally beginning to fall (what a strange detail to remember so clearly). Despite the empty roads, Porter signaled his turn and as he was slowly easing onto his street he finally spoke: “Didn’t think you were that kind of sorcerer.” “I’m not.”

i think this is a perfect example of the kind of read flags jace was ignoring and the kind of red flags he wouldn't want in his narrative. (there's a reason this scene is cut.)

porter does a few notable things here, right:

ignores jace's boundaries- jace puts distance between them. porter ignores it and grabs him. intimately. and continues the contact.

porter tells everyone he's taking jace home. something jace doesn't want (especially since this would be like 5 months into them fooling around.)

he then, instead of taking jace to his townhome, takes jace to his own house. when he knew jace didn't want to go there.

like. jace doesn't react to these- he sees them as flattering in a way. but it's bad. porter starts this shit early and it doesn't stop. jace just doesn't tell us about it in epilogue because he doesn't deem it good enough for his narrative of the man who wanted him so bad he was willing to sacrifice him and bringing him back all wrong.

also... in chapter 6 jace does give the tiniest nod to porter and this whole college situation but it never comes up again because jace doesn't think it's important outside of his dream:

How strange to think that Porter had known about that in this moment. Had that been what made Porter pick him?

he knows porter knew about his spell thief ability. we just don't get to understand it until much later.

THIS LITERALLY WENT NOWHERE I'M SORRY. but let me leave you with a cut bit that almost made it into the final draft and that i now regret cutting, but hope you can see why i felt it necessary to cut:

He wonders. Would Porter have been excited at the prospect of Jace’s talents if he had told him that night? Would he have asked in hushed tones if Jace could still do that. Could he still steal magic—rip spells that weren’t his out of the weave itself? Would Jace have seen earlier the way Porter might have wanted to use him? Porter had never been shy about saying how he loved Jace’s magic—loved watching him use it, loved how powerful he knew Jace would be. I’ll make you more than you are, Porter had whispered in his ear one night as he pressed Jace into the mattress. Imagine it, pet. Jace stares at the spot of blood on his carpet—aware of the ache in his bones, the blood under his fingernails and wonders, faintly: Did Porter ever want him? Was it always his magic? Did it matter? He thinks. Porter had felt so inevitable. Does it matter? He gets up. There’s one way to find out.

[butchhamlet]

what are your favourite things about king lear? also do you know any really good productions that i can watch online for free? asking because i didn’t really like king lear when i read it (except for edmund. i love edmund) and knowing why other people like it might let me look at it from a different angle. because i know it’s objectively a good play, and there’s a 50% chance of me having to study it next year so i want to like it

so i started writing a response to this ask and then paused to plot out my points (as if writing a goddamn essay) and then i looked at my points and i had written

fucked-up families

apocalypse vibes

women are hot

which. yeah, that's it, isn't it

anyway, to elaborate on that: i will admit that some of this is just personal preference, because i love stories about complicated nuclear-waste-toxic family dynamics, and lear is, like, one of the original Nuclear Waste Family Dynamic plays. (so is the oreisteia, incidentally.) what gets me specifically is that this is a play about power, yeah, but also about love: everybody in lear wants love, and nobody is getting enough of it. and the dynamics of the two families here get immediately more interesting if this isn't JUST a who-inherits-the-throne thing. edmund wants political sway, yeah, but maybe he also wants to be seen as more than a bastard. goneril kills her sister out of jealousy, yeah, but also, has she ever had a person care about her like edmund? (does he care about her? how much of the love triangle is about love vs lust vs calculation? these are questions that could be answered a thousand ways.)

i also read this play counter to old white guy traditional scholarship because i think lear (the guy) sucks. sorry. i think he sucks. i think he's terrifying and tyrannical and his daughters can do whatever they want (imo, his main problem is trying to apply his political power to his personal relationships, and that's not something caused by his senility. goneril and regan state at the end of 1.1 that, while he's going off the deep end a little more these days, "the best and soundest of his time hath been but rash." this guy has always sucked). speaking of goneril and regan, they're not evil hags--they're women trying to live with an unpredictable father, as well as trying to retain the little power they have in a male-dominated world. (notably, regan's husband is on her team, while goneril's isn't, and lear seems to have a lot of hatred for goneril specifically. which colors how both of them interact with power, edmund, and each other.)

i could actually talk about lear family dynamics forever (do cordelia's sisters love her, resent her, or both? how does edgar feel about edmund? how does edmund feel about edgar, for that matter? does he feel guilty at all for doing what he does? does edgar feel guilty about killing him? is the relationship between lear and gloucester entirely professional, or are they friends? can lear even have friends when he sees everything as some sort of zero-sum power love game? is kent gay for lear? <- yes) but i won't. because i have another point to make!

which is that it's somewhat comforting to me, in an era of [gestures at the news and broad state of the world], to read a play where people are like "holy fuck the world's going to shit and all the rules of society are inverted!" i read lear for the first time during pandemic quarantine, so. it felt fitting. your mileage may vary here (maybe you prefer escapism), but i think one could draw a lot of parallels between lear and [gestures out the window again]. this play is bleak in a way that few other shakespeare plays are bleak. (maybe timon of athens.) it's set in pre-christian britain, and the gods are invoked, but they're not really present. no one who appeals to higher powers ever seems to get any help or even comfort. and the original story of king leir didn't end Like That. shakespeare decided his play was going to end with the emotional equivalent of getting bricked in the face. cordelia's death doesn't mean anything at all! it didn't have to happen! edmund tried to stop it! she doesn't die in the original myth! and yet we're left with this horrifying apocalyptic last scene, where all the struggles for love and power come to almost nothing. maybe, if one is concerned about current events, this would make one feel worse. but i fucking love tragic catharsis and i feel bleak about the modern world so this horrible upsetting play is quite close to my heart <3

finally: i've already touched on Hot Women, but . i am a simple butch. i think goneril and regan are soooooo sexy. i love when women are mean and ruthless. i love when women kill with swords. i think conflating the two of them/treating them like two halves of the same Evil Daughter Character is a cardinal sin of shakespeare studies; you have to be reading with your eyes shut not to note stuff like regan's desire to outdo goneril, goneril's comparative lack of fulfilling relationships (re: lear fucking hates her and her husband sucks), or the differences in their dynamic with edmund (regan is still mourning cornwall at this point--does she love edmund at all, or is she just playing the political long game?). and cordelia, too, is more than just the Angelic Good Daughter; she's on stage much less frequently, but she shows a stubborn virtue that honestly borders on naivete and maybe an inclination toward martyrdom. how does she feel about her father? does she really forgive him? how does she feel about her sisters, for that matter? i'm not saying this play is, like, the most feminist shakespeare play ever written; i just really love the lear sisters.

other misc stuff: the themes are tasty! look at the authoritarianism! (is it right for one man to have this much power? see that line about the king being a wheel rolling down a hill destroying everything in his path as he destroys himself, or whatever). look at the gender dynamics! (goneril's dominance over albany and edmund in turn; the question of her womb; the mutual violence of regan and cornwall; cordelia leading an army.) look at the debate about fate and predestination! (#redditatheist edmund i love you). ++ the fact that it's set in some kind of nebulous unclear time period and the fool sings about merlin who wasn't even alive yet. i just think it's neat <3

as far as productions, i have a friend who swears by the bob jones university prod, though i haven't seen it in full (hi @lizardrosen :D). i also hav NTLive and RSC lears somewhere, i think, but shhhhh don't tell

i'd apologize for this ask being this long, but when my parents asked me to explain the plot of lear to them in 2020 i talked for 25 minutes so i guess we're all getting off lucky here

[mattzerella-sticks]

So are the Big Bads of Junior Year going to be the Rat Grinders? AKA kids who leveled up 'the normal way' by doing a bunch of quests, grinding, taking on any enemy to get more powerful, but because of the 'luck' and 'opportunities' given to other kids (ie the Bad Kids) aren't being lauded or appreciated like they expected so they're taking it out on the Bad Kids, have taken advantage of it the summer they were gone, and are doing what they can to punish them for 'being rewarded despite failing at what's expected of them, despite actually saving the world'.

I wonder if all the members of Rat Grinders have classes that reflect those of the Bad Kids? We already know they have a rogue and a bard...

[drawnbinary]

Got more Hassel and Brassius standees today >:D

The collection (just the standees) so far...

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando and Fisi pictures that I like and enjoy a normal amount (pt. 1: 2005)

[dandyshucks]

okay its going under a readmore bc its messy and a lot, i'll try to keep it succinct though. CW for some discussion of the ongoing g.enocide and things around that topic

so one of the friends is someone I've really respected and admired because they're a very intelligent well-spoken and kind-hearted individual. i've really been impressed with how they think about things and with their ability to write really fantastic essays (that they often share with this friend group because they're in school and enjoy sharing their work with us because a lot of us are interested in the things they write about). about a year ago, this person went through the process of converting to j.udaism and we were all very excited (and continue to be happy) for them. they've been really happy with the process and the community they've found and it's been really good for them.

however! this person has since stated they are a z.ionist! and they've said that it just means that j.ewish people should live in i.srael, it doesn't mean they support the i.df or what is happening in p.alestine currently. but I'm just... baffled at how they can think that non-p.alestinians occupying the country could EVER be done peacefully. it has ALWAYS been colonization. it was never going to be done in a peaceful manner.

do j.ewish people deserve a safe place to exist? absolutely! but I do not think, ESPECIALLY now, that that safe place can ever be located in p.alestine. I'm not the most educated or well-read individual, I've done a bit of reading over the past few months but my memory is shoddy and I consistently forget almost everything I've read, but as far as I can tell, this has been a non-peaceful occupation (...can occupation ever really be done peacefully in reality? i doubt it.) from the very beginning. p.alestinians were being kicked out of their houses from the start.

and to add onto the messiness of this all, I am the only i.ndigenous person in the entire group. I am the only one coming at this from an i.ndigenous perspective. and because of my perspective, I am ALWAYS going to be on the side of the population that first lived and existed in a place. i am always on the side of l.and back, i am always on the side of the first peoples. anything less would be essentially agreeing with colonization.

so it is just incredibly uncomfortable to be the only i.ndigenous person in this group while the rest of the group has discussed and expressed sympathy with this person for holding self-professed z.ionist beliefs (I do not believe this person has done the right reading to fully understand what they are saying, which is so strange because they are usually so good about educating themself). and I feel like if I try to say anything to argue or simply question this person, I'm going to rock the boat too much and make Everyone uncomfortable and the entire thing will blow up and fall apart around me. so my options seem to be either: a) say something, b) say nothing and stay in the group, or c) say nothing and quietly leave the group. none of which feel like good options!

and it sucks so much because there are people I genuinely do like in this group, and I've liked this one person and respected them since I met them, but they're really .... showing themself to be an unsafe person at the end of the day. I keep feeling like maybe I'm not seeing something or maybe I'm missing something, but I've looked at this from multiple angles and while I do absolutely see where they're coming from and even sympathise with some of it, I disagree with them on a fundamental level.

(also it seems really fucked up for them to be newly converted to j.udaism and endorsing what is essentially colonization and lowkey ignoring the fact that PEOPLE ARE BEING GENOCIDED RIGHT NOW so maybe we should not be discussing "but where are all the j.ewish ppl going to live :(" until the bullets and bombs stop at the very least(????????), while I've been indigenous and dealing with the consequences of attempted (and still ongoing!) genocide and colonization my entire life)

[skyllion-uwu]

Am I nauseous because I'm hungry or because I triggered myself last night

[wibble-wobbegong]

Zeveryone is so scary. Everything is so scary. im scared of everyone and everything i am hiding in my little corner forever and ever until planet earth explodes

[pepprs]

idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH