#i gave it to my dm and told him. do whatever with these. i need them out of my brain.

[im-still-a-robot]

INSANELY curious about what you mean by "if he dies the band becomes real" what does that mean that sounds so fucking cool

Oh lmao! Its for a backup character!

Our campaign is very much one where the threat of death is looming, so I have the bones of a character in the works in case I need to scramble together another one. I have to keep myself from coming up with too many ideas for him, but Dionysian Nightmare is supposed to be his band :]!

As long as Eddie is alive (which is hopefully the whole campaign o7) the band will just be a fun easter egg. However, if he does die, I will go full Band Development mode. It will be fun and sad. If the extra doesn't get used, I'll still probably recycle him for another campaign or release him from dnd and just have him as a standard OC

As a treat here is the better mockup of the album cover + notes

[suiana]

The death of an artist

he's always found you beautiful, even in your death and rebirth. you'll always be perfect to him. always

(yandere! musician x gn! reader) (cw: yandere stuff idk, im wiritng this while shitting i hope u enjoy my poopoo core, 2.04k words)

you might not have realised it but your silent admirer had always watched you.

he's watched you from the shadows, observing how you interact with others, how your eyes were once full of light and joy as you shared your paintings for the world to see.

it was beautiful.

you were beautiful.

he was but an aspiring musician back then. a couple of listeners here and there but never enough to fill up a concert hall. meanwhile you were a famous artist, with your paintings selling out for millions at all the art exhibitions you hosted.

you little admirer totally idolized you.

i mean, who wouldn't? all your paintings were so full of life, oh so meaningful, and most importantly, they were made with love.

love, love, love.

it was the one thing that made you stand out from all the hundreds and thousands of artists. the one thing that inspired him to even start writing songs.

your art made him feel loved. it made him feel wanted, even. he remembers how he'd get a fuzzy feeling from all your paintings, how it sent a delightful tingle up his spine as he takes in your carefully crafted masterpieces.

though there weren't any texts, all of your paintings spoke a thousand words. and they spoke to him.

with every new piece you put out, it was like he was getting to know you better. to know you on a personal level. it made his head spin and his heart leap in delight. after all, you were his idol. the one he admired so much that he began to pursue a music career dedicated to you. the career he once left behind in favour of living in this sad world.

though at one point in time, he hit a wall.

he couldn't get any ideas, no fresh inspiration for his music. the musician could only stare at his score as his mind desperately grasps at nothing. he felt like he was dying.

then you came through, like an angel of salvation.

well, looking back, you were more like a demon of salvation. especially because that one single text from you kick-started his disgusting love for you. it feels wrong to call you a demon though, not when you were so holy that he feels like touching you will corrupt your divine light.

he still remembers waking up and seeing your text on his instagram DMs. your bright red notification ping that gave him all the motivation he needed to think of a new idea.

'hey! just wanted to tell u i really enjoy ur music! cant wait to see u get famous >w<'

he swears he could die happy just seeing you message him. you messaged him. you know of his existence??? no fucking way bro. he still wonders if he used up all his luck when you messaged him so innocently that day.

of course... he responded and thus began a friendship (?) between the two of you.

friendship. yeah, maybe for you.

truth be told, he doesn't know if he ever saw you as a friend to begin with. he always thought you messaged him because you were interested in him too. whatever, these small details aren't important.

he released a love song not long after your first interaction with him. it instantly became a viral hit, taking his follower count from the thousands to the millions. he was glad it performed so well on the charts, they were his feelings to you after all.

the now famous musician had to thank you for getting him out of his rut. without you, he'd probably have gone back to doing medicine. so he did the best thing and that was to invite you out for a meal. he had to thank his muse, didn't he?

you were a little hesitant at first. that's okay, if anything he thought it was cute that you were suspicious of him. there will be plenty of time for you to warm up to him later.

the little get-together, or first date as he likes to call it, went well! you two saw each other in real life for the first time! and boy was he smitten. if he was unsure about whether he was in love with you before, he sure as hell was sure now.

you were so much more lovely in real life than you were over text. all smiles and laughs, your admirer feels that his songs didn't do you justice.

"this was fun! let's do this again!"

oh for sure he will do it again. he just wants you all to himself now. to keep you with him, a never-ending source of inspiration for the rest of his life. his beloved muse. the one he writes for. the one his songs are dedicated to. his.

so your falling off played out nicely in his favour. you were trying out an experimental style, said that he inspired you. it was one that not many would be able to understand at first glance, completely different from what your previous one was. your loyal fans stood by your side of course, him included. but the general public eventually started ignoring your newer pieces in favour for something they didn't need to use much thought to understand. for someone fresh, someone new.

he could see the way the light in your eyes slowly started to dim at the lack of interaction. sure, you said that fame wasn't important to you, that all you wanted was to showcase your art to the world.

but your little admirer could tell that it was bothering you more than you'd like to admit.

he saw the way your texts with him grew more erratic, the way the vibrant life in your eyes started to slowly dim, the way you started pushing out more works to compensate for the style change. you were desperate for the attention you once received. the way you changed in real time, becoming a slave to the consumers, like an animated robot that pushed out art just for the sake of it...

it was a little sad to see to be honest. it was like you were there, but you also weren't, you know? your name was on the artwork but he didn't see you in it.

but he was glad things turned out the way it did. it meant that he could be there for you when you cried and felt like a mistake. it meant that he could offer you a shoulder to cry on when the times were really bad.

"there there, it's alright. just let it all out."

his gentle caresses as you cried your heart out into his chest... it was delightful to see you depend on him so much. that you'd come seeking comfort from him in such a dark period of your life. he felt so wanted by you.

meanwhile, his fame was only growing larger by the day. while you were on a path to being forgotten, he was making a name for himself in the music industry. brand deals, billboards, advertisements. he was everywhere, like a ghost haunting you, to remind you that your friend was thriving while you weren't.

the musician wonders whether you've ever hated him. that you'd think he was stealing all of your fame. after all, your fame went down not long after you messaged him. he really wonders whether you've ever blamed him for making a change in your art style.

it doesn't matter now.

the artist in you was gone.

"hey, what if you make me an album cover?"

you only stared at him with dark eyes before looking away. everyone around you had slowly started distancing themselves from you. the change in your personality and looks had scared them. everyone but him had stayed. his words about horrid snakes deceiving you fill your head as you cling to the attention he gave you. who were you to deny your only friend left?

"sure."

you didn't give much thought when designing his new album. it was an avant garde album that had themes about desperation, love, and death.

how ironic, you thought.

you gave the complete piece to him a few days after, heavy bags under your eyes as your friend hugged and kissed your cheek. he's been taking care of you recently. having you move in with him, cooking you food and covering all of your expenses. he treated you like a lover. albeit you found it a bit weird that he told you not to leave without his consent. said that he didn't want people to harass you. you found it sweet of him. you were glad that he cared for you so much.

"my dear artist friend designed my new album cover, yes. i think they were a perfect fit to help design this particular album cover. they're..."

your fame immediately came back. interviews, likes, commissions, the things you were once familiar with came running back at full force after your friend's interview with a big channel.

you think if this happened earlier you'd have caved under the attention. the big spotlight, fans.... the attention will always be intoxicating. even now, you feel yourself smiling at the number of notifications you're receiving from strangers.

but you've realized that their attention is only temporary. the second you grow irrelevant they'll drop you again. just like they did before.

the only one who matters is your friend. the one who whispered sweet nothings and reassured you when you were drowning in a mass of nothingness. the one who gave you the attention you craved.

you immediately started a new piece in a new style.

'Intertwined'

a painting that gave you more fame than what you initially had before. it was a piece about self enlightenment, discovery, and contentment. and some claimed that it was the best painting that you've ever made. a masterpiece.

you showed your friend your work right after you were done and you could've sworn you saw a hint of shock in his eyes. maybe also fear? you don't know.

"this is... beautiful."

his words were slow, gaze intense as he stared at your painting for what felt like hours. you think he was mesmerized. you never asked him.

you made another painting after that.

'final duet'

again, people claimed that it was a masterpiece. your friend looked stunned again and he called it beautiful like always. he told you that he's never seen something so artistically perfect before and that he's proud of you. you like it. his compliments make you happy.

"this one is for you."

you made another piece. a simple painting of him in your style.

'untitled.jpg'

"is... it mine now?"

he proceeded to draw you into the painting as well after your words. you didn't understand what he was doing. but you found it cute. he was drawing you?

"there. now it's perfect."

he smiles down at you before pressing a kiss to your forehead like he always does. you've grown so used to his kisses that you were expecting one already. you lean into his touch before smiling softly.

"i'm so happy with you."

"me too."

the seed of life was sprouting once more, growing around the stem that it's learnt to grow dependent on.

he was everything to you. you feel like you'd die without him. but you know it'll never happen because your dearest friend will always remain by your side. he promised you. his words are like gold. he's the only one who matters.

you never want to be apart ever again.

thus you made your final masterpiece about love and dedication. a flower thriving in a dark environment and growing to love the dark, having died in the shining light once before.

'rebirth'

the blinds to the outside world shut on the two of you. no one else is important. he tells you he loves you. you repeat it. his hands wrap around you as you lean into his cold touch. you're cold too. you used to be warm once, he says he likes you cold better. shutting your eyes, all you focus on is the steady beating of his heart.

now no one will ever bother the two lovers ever again.

[outermaybanks]

calm after the storm - toxic!ex!babydaddy!jj wants you back so bad it makes him look stupid :( a/n: i would like to give a HUGE thank you to @redhead1180 for the baby names i owe you a million kisses <3 18+ smut, p in v, unprotected sex

JJ had never been in your forever plan, at least not after the first breakup. Sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder how different your life would’ve been had you just had a stronger resolve. Over 3 years in total when you had gotten pregnant, on and off, but the off periods never lasted long; you and JJ just couldn’t stay away from each other.

You had been broken up for about 2 weeks when you found out you were 6 weeks pregnant with your daughter. You and JJ tried to make it work for the remaining 7 and a half months, but something in him always knew how to piss you off, and something in you practically challenged him to do so, so the last month of your pregnancy, you called it off, “For good this time. I mean it, JJ,” you had told him. Of course he didn’t believe you, why should he?

But you made good on your word, at least, more so than you had in the past. You went six whole months without caving, and when you did cave, finally letting JJ back into your bed, you made sure to tell your daughter’s father that it didn’t change anything; you still weren’t together.

Now, your beautiful daughter Lilly was over a year old, and somehow you and JJ made co-parenting work despite not being together, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t still get pangs of jealousy when the other moms at the park checked him out. What you didn’t know was JJ felt the same way, constantly, just knowing you were ‘single’ drove him nuts.

Before Lilly, sure, JJ had wandering eyes, he never actually cheated, at least not by having sex with anyone else, but in the past, you had caught girls in his dms, and while he never explicitly gave them a chance, he didn’t do much to reject them either. But once you brought his daughter into this world, there would never again be any doubt in his mind that you were the only one for him. 

So while you were mentally preparing for the day that JJ brought another woman over to meet your guys’ daughter, he was figuring out a way to get you back. 

So, here you were, waiting for JJ to come pick up Lilly for his weekend with her. Hair and makeup done because you were ready for a break from crying, breastfeeding, changing diapers, and worse of all, Lilly hadn’t stopped asking for da-da all day; you needed tequila.

When you heard the rumble of John B’s van (JJ started borrowing it for pick ups after you gave him a long lecture that babies cannot ride on motorbikes), you stood up, holding Lilly on your hip as you opened the door and stood in the doorway. 

JJ rolled his eyes the second he got out of the van and saw you, looking all pretty for someone that wasn’t him, but his grimace dropped the second he locked eyes with his daughter, who immediately started reaching for him.

“There’s my sweet girl, you miss daddy?” JJ cooed softly as he took her from your arms, smiling at her sweetly before he turned back to you, his eyes trailing up and down your silhouette before turning back to lovingly baby-talk to his daughter. “Why does mommy look like she’s trying to get me to give you a sibling, hm?” 

You rolled your eyes. “Not that it’s any of your business, Jesse,” you sneered, “but I’m going out tonight.” “With who?” JJ was quickly to ask, bouncing Lilly in his arms to keep her placated, his eyes focused on you.  “What part of none of your business did you miss?”

Now it was JJ’s turn to roll his eyes. “Whatever,” he said, grabbing her diaper bag and throwing it over his shoulder with the hand that wasn’t holding Lilly. “Call me when he can’t get you off.” 

Before Lilly, you would’ve chewed him out for saying something like that, so cocky, but now, he wasn’t just JJ, the annoying guy who unfortunately was your first love, but he was your daughter’s father, and for her benefit, you learned when to bite your tongue. Like now. 

When your girl friends showed up to drive you to the bar you couldn’t be more grateful for the break. Truthfully, you had been nervous about JJ being a father, going as far to offer him an ‘out’ when you told him the news, but he couldn’t have proved you more wrong. He read the books (skimmed) and got sober (on his days with her) and got a good paying job (and a few side hustles). He wasn’t a deadbeat dad, furthest from it. He was constantly texting you to ask if he could stop by before or after work, or when he was on break to see her, he gave you money even though you never took him to court, he bought things for her for his place and yours, and even bought stuff for you to make sure you were taken care of too. You had no worries about leaving JJ alone with Lilly for the whole weekend. 

You were two shots deep before you couldn’t get JJ off your mind, not worried about your daughter, or if he was struggling with her, oh no, this was different. You felt your thighs clench together when you picture the way he held Lilly earlier today. You can feel uncomfort between your legs when you remember his snide comment about giving Lilly a sibling. You down your third shot and pull out your phone, immediately opening your texts with JJ.

You: how’s Lil?

JJ is immediately texting back, only a second passing before the read time comes up.

JJ: need me already? You: i asked how our daughter is JJ: she’s fine already asleep. got the baby monitor on her.

You bit your lip as you tried to think of what you could say next, but before you had to struggle long, you felt your phone vibrate in your hand.

JJ: u coming home or what?

You quickly said goodnight to your friends, bumbling out an excuse about Lilly, and ordering an uber to JJ’s front door. 

When JJ pulled the front door back, it was with a cocky grin already plastered to his lips. 

“Knew you missed me,” he said, his voice low. “I wanted to check on Lilly…” you say, trying to feign innocence. “Lilly’s sleeping,” JJ replies, cocking his head slightly, calling your bluff. When you didn’t say anything, just stared at him with crossed arms, not wanting to give him the satisfaction, he let out a huff and opened the door wider, allowing you in. Without a word you went past him, you knew your way around JJ’s place like it was your own. You slowly opened the door to Lilly’s room, turning your head to look inside her crib. Like promised, she was sound asleep, in mismatched pajamas, but otherwise okay.

You slowly backed up, closing the door with you, but the second you heard the click of the door, JJ’s lips were on yours, his hand on your waist and pushing you against the adjacent wall. A part of you wanted to push JJ off of you out of spite, but the other part wanted him so bad, you couldn’t help but kiss him back. 

“There she is,” JJ mumbled against your lips between kisses. Your hand came up to his cheek, pulling him closer in an attempt to silence him. He quickly leaned down to put his hands underneath your thighs, pulling you up to carry you to his bedroom, closing the door with his foot before collapsing on top of you on the bed. 

“Knew you still wanted me,” JJ mumbled before his lips kissed down your jaw to your neck, quick to mark his territory. “Shut- up-” you mumble as you hold back small noises of satisfaction. “‘S okay… better even… you’ll always come home to daddy, won’t you, mamas?” JJ ask gruffly, his hands already moving to trail under your shirt and pull it up to your neck, freeing your breasts.

You stayed silent, well except for little huffs you couldn’t help but let out as the moment became more and more heated. But JJ wanted an answer. When your hands moved down to untie the strings to his plaid pajama pants, his hand enveloped yours, forcing you to stop. “Say it…” 

You bit your lip as you looked up at him, eyes flickering between his rapidly with need. “I’ll always come home to you daddy…” A smirk stretched its way across his lips as his fingers expertly untied his pajamas pants. “That’s right, mamas… no one else gonna fuck you like I do, you need this dick. Say it.”

“Need your dick, daddy,” you mumble, spreading your legs more for him, allowing him to slot himself right where he belonged as he flipped the hem of your skirt up. JJ pulled himself out of his boxers, his dick already hard in his hand as he slid his tip through your folds. “What do you need, baby?” At this point, you were annoyed. He knew what you wanted, why couldn’t he just get on with it?“You! JJ, I need you, please-”

That was all he needed to hear before slamming into you entirely, your head immediately falling back into the pillow. It had been a couple months since the last time you caved, but the stretch burned with delicious familiarity, something only JJ could give you. 

“Fuck! JJ-” you groaned, but he quickly shut you up by moving his hips. “You feel so fucking good, mamas… can’t believe this pussy gave me a baby…” he seethed out, his hips moving at a merciless pace. Small whines and whimpers left your mouth despite your attempts to quiet yourself, until finally you just bit down on JJ’s shoulders, clinging onto him for dear life while he fucked you the way only he could. “Think it could give me another?” you didn’t miss his mumbled words.

“Shut up-” you panted out, wrapping your legs around his waist to encourage him to go deeper. “Want a boy this time…” JJ said between small grunts that left his throat with each thrust. “Whatcha think ‘bout that, hmm baby? Little mini-JJ?”

He knew what his words would do to you, because that’s exactly how you ended up with Lilly. Your eyes rolled back as he hit particularly deep, pulling a loud moan from you. You’d give him whatever he wanted as long as he kept moving his hips, your orgasm already nearing.

“Gonna wake the baby, sweetheart. Gotta keep quiet for me, cupcake,” JJ said his voice low, partial groans escaping with his words. You had to bite down on your lip to keep yourself muffled, your fingertips digging into the flesh of his shoulders, pulling him down closer, giving him the perfect opportunity to press his lips to yours. The kiss was ravenous, like JJ might swallow you whole just to keep you here, and it was just what you needed to push you over the edge, his lips muffled your moans perfectly.

In the blinding pleasure of your orgasm, you didn’t feel him cum inside you, but once you were both laying side by side, panting unevenly, you slowly felt the warmth drip out of you.

“Are you fucking serious?” you said, not angry, more annoyed, sitting up on your elbows to look at him, his eyes focused on your face, a smile on his lips. “Told you I wanted a mini-me.”

[wrathofrats]

Seeing blind (you’re too good to be all mine)

Chapter 1, read under the cut or on ao3

Big big huge iconic thank you to @divine-misfortune bc he literally has written half of it in my DMs so thank him for this being an actual thing now

1.8k, Teen and up, no warnings apply. It’s just set up for right now.

“Well it turns out I work here” Swiss laughed. Rain glared at him for his dumb answer. He was cute in a handsome way. Locs pulled back into a bun with a bright smile. “Thought you knew that rain, especially since you knew my name”

Rain shouldn’t be looking this hard at him.

Or this is the farm au from that post the other day. Except it’s now going to be a fully chaptered fic

Rains never been much for dirt. It sticks to his skin and his clothes and just makes him feel grimy whenever he has to come in contact with it. Most jobs he had to do he’s able to avoid it, his dad always resigns him to simple things like picking some of the produce to set aside or checking on the animals or grabbing a tractor when he needs it. Easy, enough to claim he’s helping out but not too much to where he would have to talk to anyone or get his favorite sweaters stained.

The small orchard was always the prettiest during this time of year. Late September with the trees starting to turn and apples clinging to their branches. It was his favorite small task, just to gather some of the ripe ones to take inside. His mother always saves some of the produce for her own kitchen.

Rain studied a couple, his mom was very particular about which ones she wanted. A couple she could use now and a couple that would ripen in a few days so she could eat them fresh. She liked to stake her claim before they had to harvest the rest to sell.

“Don’t force it, if it doesn’t come off easily it’s not ready yet” said a voice from behind him. Rain whipped around to see one of the farm hands standing behind him, his hands in his jean pockets and dust smeared on his cheek with a wide grin.

“What are you doing over here swiss” he asked. His voice was a little cold without it meaning to be. He wasn’t exactly supposed to talk to the workers. His dad always told him to leave them alone. He wanted them to work, not chat, besides he’s heard the banter from inside the barn and the conversations were something he didn’t want rain around. Rain always thought it was a bit dumb, but he would listen in respect for the rules anyways.

“Well it turns out I work here” Swiss laughed. Rain glared at him for his dumb answer. He was cute in a handsome way. Locs pulled back into a bun with a bright smile. “Thought you knew that rain, especially since you knew my name”

Rain shouldn’t be looking this hard at him. Quickly he turned to reach for a different apple, feeling pleased when it came off easily into the palm of his hand.

“Of course I knew your name, but I meant why are you in my space”

“Boss asked me to make sure you were picking the right ones. Said the Mrs gets real particular about her fruit” Swiss walked to stand next to the tree, studying the apples before grabbing one and throwing it into the basket.

“I appreciate it but I don’t need the help. You can go back to whatever you were doing” rain moved the basket to the arm furthest away from Swiss. He had gathered a couple, enough to tide his mother over for a day or two. Swiss gave a low whistle before moving off of the tree and walking back towards the barn.

“Well if you ever do need my help, you know where to find me”

Rain didn’t respond. He just continued his walk back to the house with his basket. He didn’t talk to anyone that often, only speaking to mountain when he needed something off a high shelf. He was sweet, one of the favorites along with cirrus, always helpful and hardworking. His dad didn’t speak much of Swiss, must be because he stays out of trouble. If his dad was talking about any of his employees it was only if they were stellar workers or trouble makers like Dew. But Swiss? Never came up often.

He was thinking about him a little too much. The stubble on his chin and the way he had his flannel sleeves rolled up and-

Rain had to stop. This was madness. A two second interaction and now he has to act like he’s losing his mind. Maybe he was just stir crazy, being home from college was lonely and now he had to behave like he’s never had a friend in his life.

He threw the basket on the table with a call to his mom before heading back outside. He was sure there was more to do, and it was always safer to ask instead of getting a lecture.

The barn door was heavy, probably easy for everyone who was conditioned for it but for rain it always made him struggle. He tried not to be in there often, it smelled weird and there was always someone in it which rain tried to avoid, but he didn’t see his father in the field, so he had to assume he was in there.

“Need some help?” Swiss grabbed right above rains hand on the handle, giving it a good yank to help the process.

“I don’t need your help. Didn’t we already discuss this?” rain crossed his arms in front of him, giving Swiss a look.

“Then I apologize, assumed you just came over here because you missed me”

There was a pull in rains stomach. Again, stupid. He tried to ignore it and place blame on just being lonely as he did earlier. Sure Swiss was handsome but he felt annoyed by his presence more than anything, as he did with most people.

“Nope, just a coincidence. Looking for my father if you would excuse me” rain gave a peek inside before turning on his heel.

“Left for a bit, took mountain into town I believe. Should be back soon. You’re more than welcome to sit with me and wait on him” Swiss gave him a wide polite smile.

“I’ll pass.” Rain shoved the door closed while Swiss watched him struggle, and walked back to the house.

The small behaviors start to become a bad habit that rain swears up and down is not on purpose. He’s always just coincidentally in the barn when Swiss walks in to get more feed, or is grabbing a piece of equipment that Swiss somehow needs the one right next to it. Every interaction ends with a dumb comment about how often he’s around and rain feeling like he’s going crazy once again.

“Don’t have to be embarrassed, I think it’s cute how you always want to be around me” Swiss teased, hoisting a bag of feed over his shoulder.

“It’s just a coincidence.” Rain rolled his eyes “don’t get an ego”

The wind gets colder as they head deeper into October. A shift in the light warm summer sun into the orange chill of fall. Swiss never changes, not that rain had been paying attention, but he wore mostly the same things every day. Jeans and some random worn t shirt. Surely great to work in but with the weather he always wondered how he was holding up. Hell, rain wore sweaters even when it was 70 outside, let alone when it’s now dropping into the 50s.

Swiss always takes his breaks in the loft of the barn. Old hay and a couple lanterns, the small amount of rising heat made it more comfortable.

Before rain left the house for the day he grabbed an old sweatshirt from the laundry, something his dad won’t miss. Even if Swiss gets on his nerves he at least has the decency to not want to watch him freeze.

Swiss gave him a wave when he walked into the barn, tilting his head as rain climbed up the ladder to stand next to him.

“Here, you looked cold” rain threw the sweatshirt at him before turning to get back down.

“No wait, you came all this way, sit with me for a while”

Rain shouldn’t. If he was caught they’d both be in trouble. But Swiss has two apples and a nice smile and even after the past month of trying to avoid him, it’s hard to say no to such an offer. Just a couple minutes, it can’t hurt.

“Your mothers right. The apples always taste better ripe right off the tree. You could wait and have them inside but I swear it’s not the same” Swiss said, taking another bite.

“Are you allowed to be stealing produce sir? We use that to afford your paycheck”

Swiss gives him a laugh, looking at him. He never took too much time to study him before, always being shoved away and told to leave the premises. He was cute, messy hair and a sweater a size too big. Boyish charm to the farmers son.

Swiss slices another piece of the apple with his pocket knife and pops it into his mouth. Rain watches his hands, a little too fixated on the veins and tendons that move with the blade.

“Well, you can keep a secret can’t you?”

“Only if you let me taste whatever you’re talking about”

There was a pause. Both just taking in each other. Sure they had seen each plenty before but it was different this time, something more casual to the interaction that put rain at ease.

Swiss leans forward, waiting for a hint of hesitation before placing his lips on rains. They slot together with little effort as rain gives a small gasp at the surprise. Swiss was right, it does taste sweeter, the juice still lingering as he kisses rain.

Rain can’t help but to melt, he leans forward much more desperately than he should while his brain works on autopilot from the touch. He let’s Swiss place a hand on his cheek and play with the bit of hair on the nape of his neck before his brain can catch up to him and realize this is wrong. He’s not supposed to be doing this, he shouldn’t even be up there with him and god he should’ve known it was a mistake to even play this stupid game to begin with.

Abruptly Swiss is pushed away. Rains cheeks are flushed, his lips a pretty shade of pink and he’s breathing heavily. He stared at him for a second before shoving the sweatshirt into Swiss’ hands and scrambling to get up and move towards the ladder. It’s his first kiss. Rain had his first kiss and barely even knows this guy and he doesn’t know what to make of any of it. Embarrassment floods his face as he makes his way back to the house. He can’t tell Swiss that, he can’t blame his fumbling on the fact that he’s a sheltered loser after playing cat and mouse for a month.

Swiss’ head spins. Rain kissed him back, that has to mean something right? He stayed, he let him move towards him and he kissed him back. Even worse the fact that he has to assume it’s the first time rains ever done anything like that. He’s sheltered and clumsy and Swiss feels a little bad doing that to him, but the feeling is shoved aside by the need to do it over and over again.

There’s a selfish feeling that bubbles up inside of him. He wants to be all of his first, claim them as his. He’s greedy and he knows that and it’s scary because Swiss has never felt something like this.

[bryngmemoney]

✁FASHION FLIRT✃

Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

⭑story masterlist link

tw: none

Writing at the end!!

🪡Chapter Ten: Late

You had been sitting there long enough, and under any other circumstances you would have left by now, but a part of you was hopeful that he wasn’t doing it on purpose. Plus it gave you time to work on your other model’s practice garments, so you were at least productive with your time. A bit of your suspicion was confirmed by Nobara’s singular “Megumi’s on his way he says he’ll explain everything when he gets there” text. If he didn’t arrive within the next ten minutes however, you agreed with yourself that you’d leave.

Coincidence that at that moment you heard the doors slide open, revealing Megumi, who while he still held himself together with his calm demeanour, he seemed a bit out of breath. “I’m so sorry y/n, I swear it wasn’t on purpose,” he began before even giving you the chance to greet him. “I was filming with Yuji, but I ended up giving him and his friend a ride and they took longer packing up, then there was traffic and I forgot my phone so I couldn’t answer I hadn’t even realized I did till Yuji asked me where it was in the car.” Processing the information he had just told you, you thought before responding. He seemed to slowly grow more anxious with every passing second waiting your reply.

“It’s okay, I mean you’re here now so we can just get it over with.” You turned to go get his outfit only to feel him grab at your hand.

“Let me make it up to you,” and once you were face to face you could see he looked more nervous than he did a minute ago, more nervous than you’d ever seen actually. “Let’s,” he took a second to gather his thoughts before continuing, but decided that if he wanted to keep whatever progress he’s made going forward with you, he needed to do something or at least try to do something to make it up to you. “Let’s go get dinner, on me, i’ll take you out.”

Was he asking you out on a date? “Like right after this?” “Yes, it can be-” he then remembered about Yuji he had left in his parked car, he couldn’t say it was a date if he had to bring his friend along. He could go home and drop him off, but that would just force you to drive along with him back and forth. He was thankful Junpei lived on campus, at least it made it only one person to worry about. “Well, do you mind if Yuji tags along?” he asked before even thinking of another way to get rid of his roommate. “Yuji Itadori?” Well it was too late now, “It’s just, he’s my roommate and dropping him off would just-” “It’s okay Megumi, I don’t mind, we can go right after I make sure these fit you.” That eased his nerves a bit, “Okay then, sounds good,” he replied while smiling.

Author’s Note: better late than never ig🤷🏻‍♀️ also dw megumi will find his phone

hope you guys enjoyed!

Taglist below, feel free to comment or dm me to be added!!

TAGLIST

@iridescentrays @gumimegz @maya-maya-56 @mamafly @lunavixia @swissy23 @coltsgf @m00nglad3-mp3 @etsukis @xosren @qtnfer @oengleli @harek89 @y-sabell-a @morgyyyyyyy @getolvr @liliumaraneae @k3lbade @aiieera @dancedancey @get0sfav @chuyasthighs0 @hyssoplampflickers @kpopanimen @sad-darksoul @vivi-loves-penguins @kasumitenbaz

[alexfromjersey]

𝓛𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 & 𝓢𝓸𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵 𝓜𝓮𝓭���𝓪

jenna ortega x g!poc

summary: jah and jenna struggle with the long distance.

warnings: mature language, mentions marijuana

a/n: shortest chapter I ever wrote for this series but dont say I never gave yall nothing. ngl I be forgetting that I made Jah a streamer/influencer 😂. Imma start incorporating more like social media aspects to here cause this was fun

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

ONE WEEK LATER

“Yo I’m the greatest friend to ever walk planet Earth bruh. Davis finally let his balls drop and now him and Diana are going on a date together” You gushed to the brunette.

“Finally” Jenna chuckled.

It was currently 11 p.m. in London, which meant it was 6 p.m. in New York. Jenna just finished filming for the day and she needed to hear your voice. This is the first time in a week she's seen your face.

She was still on edge about Neil and hasn’t told you. She didn’t want to bring you into her mess and potentially end up finding out about her past. So she kept it to herself.

Your eyes were glued to the screen as you played Call of Duty, "Yeah I told him I'll help him plan his date since he wants to impress her."

"How sweet of you. I didn't know you had a sweet side to you sour patch kid" Jenna teased.

You stick your middle finger up at her to which she lets out a cute little giggle.

"So what's up with you? How filming going?" You asked and pushed your headphones behind your ears. Jenna had tried to stop the thoughts that ran through her mind a mile a second just now. But it was difficult when you looked good with a white tank top on displaying your tattoos, grey sweatpants, your chain dangling from your neck which she wants to grab at, and your glasses on.

After a moment, Jenna snapped out of her thoughts to answer your question, "It's going fine. Tim is forcing me to have a stunt double for the majority of my stunts which sucks because he don’t even know I’m pregnant" Jenna answered.

“Probably got that intuition” You shrugged.

“I guess. But other than that, filming is fine. Quiet little London Town that I can’t remember for the life of me” Jenna said and laid down in her bed. She let out a yawn.

“Go to sleep mamas. Call me when you get up” You said.

“No I wanna talk to you. I haven’t seen your face in a while” Jenna pouted.

You smiled, “But you need sleep. I know you probably have to get up mad early.”

“Yeah around like 4” Jenna sighed.

“See. Call me when you get me I’ll be up” You said.

"Okay," Jenna pouted. She hangs up the phone and turns over to stare at her ceiling.

She felt tears start to gather under her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. She was struggling with the just being friends with you. Each day, her feelings for you grow stronger but it was still something holding her back from pursuing you. She needed to figure it out quickly because she don’t know how much longer she can take it.

🤰🏻🩵

As the phone hung up, you let out a sigh and rubbed your face. You missed her badly. You wished you could just book a spontaneous flight over to London but you couldn’t…just yet.

You needed a distraction. You grabbed your phone and hopped onto your most used app, Twitter (you was not calling that shit X or whatever fuck Elon named. Fuck Elon Musk).

@bronxsheisty: can't wait for you to get home, we ain't got to go nowhere

Immediately, you started getting replies and quotes on your tweet.

@shiestylover: uh oh who’s this about 👀

@ghostridingwhip: jah is possibly taken? yeaaaaa let me go jump into oncoming traffic

@highondatgreen: it’s about me duh

@fnthechat: omg potential song lyrics! DROP THE SONG NOW

@modernbussywhip: i might have an idea and y’all never would of guessed it

@ghostridingwhip: oh do tell @modernbussywhip

@modernbussywhip: nah I need more evidence to support my claim but imma dm you my theory so far @ghostridingwhip

@bronxshiesty:

@modernbussywhip: oop-

@bronxshiesty: u should like share with the class @modernbussywhip

@modernbussywhip: i should share u with the class? couldn’t agree more

@bronxshiesty: oh that’s not- @modernbussywhip

@modernbussywhip:

@munchiesinmycrunchies: day 293792873 of asking for music

@ExclusiveShiestyUpdates: day 293792873 of waiting for an Instagram pic

@bronxshiesty: heard @ExclusiveShiestyUpdates

You exited out Twitter and went to Instagram. You found a pic you took yesterday and decided to post it.

bronxshiesty posted on Instagram after a while.

liked by jennaortega, davison, and 14,574 others.

bronxshiesty i was told to post on here so here u go

View all 9,836 comments

davison 🥶

↳ bronxshiesty u know the vibez

kaicenat god did

↳ bronxshiesty god did 🫣

elfanum big bronx all day 💯

↳ bronxshiesty everyday word 💯

↳ user3836 amp x shiesty collab?

↳ bronxshiesty @elfanum @kaicenat 👀

bbq.days i spy with my little eye a 5’1 boricua in the likes

kaydotnyc_ when u streaming

↳ bronxsheisty sometime tonite

mrenriquemelendez has started following bronxshiesty

aliyah.ortega has started following bronxshiesty

natalieortega1 has started following bronxshiesty

corneilo.millers has started following bronxshiesty

You don’t know what prompted you to click on Neil’s profile but you did. You saw that he was followed by Jenna and Jenna’s mother and he was a businessman. You followed back everyone and closed out your apps. Your eyes then glance down at the flyer on your coffee table. You grabbed it and exhaled deeply. You typed in the website in your phone and hit the registration button.

Here’s to opening more opportunities.

🤰🏻🩵

"I did it" You inhaled the smoke from the blunt. You leaned over and passed it to Davis who took it.

"Did what?" Davis questioned.

"I signed up for the competition. I kept staring at it on my table and just said fuck it" You shrugged and fixed your pants that were riding up your legs.

"Aye let's go" Davis cheered. He dapped you up to which you rolled your eyes at him with a smile.

"You need a musical stage name. You already got a streamer name but it won't be catchy or marketable to the music industry" Davis stated.

"I was thinking just Jah" You answered.

Davis puffed out a cloud of smoke, "Just Jah? I mean it flows sorta...Just Jah or JJ. It's aight"

"No dumbass I mean just my name Jah" You laughed.

"Oh! You could get away with it" Davis said. You knew he was high as a kite right now cause he started acting slower than usual when he was intoxicated.

The two of you then hear a ding from your phone. You grabbed it and saw it was a video from Jenna. You click on it and it starts with her showing her belly.

"Officially 14 weeks pregnant and the baby is the size of a navel orange," Jenna said and showed her belly. It was protruding more now but she was still able to hide it. Only if you got super close to her stomach you'll see she's pregnant but ain't nobody getting that close to her. "I want some oranges now. My appetite has skyrocketed now but luckily my boobs are not as tender anymore, thank god-"

In the background, you heard someone call Jenna's name. She sighed before turning back to the camera, "I have to get back on set but I just wanted to give you a quick update on us. I miss you and two months need to come quicker" Jenna said and kissed the camera. You smiled at the video and rewatched it again.

NYC 🩵:

miss you too 😘❤️

i also want some oranges now

"You know for two people to say that they’re just friends. Yall sure do act like a couple." Davis asked.

“No we don’t. Two friends can’t say they miss each other now” You questioned.

“I’m not talking about that. It’s your body language and the way you act around each other that’s unfriendly like” Davis said.

You suck your teeth, “You go to Hollywood and become an expert in body language and shit.”

“I’m just saying. The two of you need to stop whatever the fuck this is and just get together.” Davis shrugged.

You sighed, “You don’t think I want that. I haven’t been in a relationship in mad long. But something feels different with her like different in a way I never felt in a relationship before. I miss her being around, talking to her, and even just showing her around the Bronx. It's weird feeling this way...a good weird.” You finished off the blunt in your hand.

"It's called love nigga" Davis laughed.

“Alright let’s settle down. That’s a big word to be assuming” You said.

Davis chuckled, “Have your ever been in love before?”

You open your mouth to answer yes but you stop yourself and really think if you actually been in love or not. Sure you’ve been in relationships with girls before but they never made you feel like this. You never felt this way about a girl before.

“I’m guessing that’s a no” Davis chuckled.

“Shut up” You grumble and placed your hands in your pants. You get comfortable on your couch letting the effects of the marijuana relax your mind and body. Davis started drifting off to sleep next to you. But suddenly, your mind starts to overthink about the prior conversation.

Shit, now this was gonna be on your mind all night.

🤰🏻🩵

a/n: i want someone to take care of me like that black woman be taking care of her pitbull on TikTok

taglist: @grandpatrolnut @raven-ss @fanboy7794 @morganismspam23 @cinffy23 @darklron @cheesybacon1 @octavias-next-meat-bite @playboysaleen @niqmandu @zaclewiss @yescruzzzzzzz @silentfor @gemz5 @alwaysdangerouschild @onceblinkarmyandmore @melonfruit442 @zataracloud @nepobaby08 @jennasslut @rimaybank @jaewu @j3nc0re

[soobibabe]

tubatu world domination

6 members - 6 active

soobin: do you guys ever think about beomgyu: no

soobin: damn can i FINISH my STATEMENT

you: to be fair you were typing like a snail i saw it with my own eyes

kai: i think what you were thinking soobin

soobin: thanks kai

yeonjun: wym 'saw it with my own eyes' ??? YOURE WITH HIM@:@::#*# PKSIMABOUT TOTHROW UP

you: i told you guys i was gonna go to the mall today ?

beomgyu: guys man or bear hehehhhhehehhhheeh>.<<<<<

taehyun: y/n reply to my dm pls.

yeonjun: WHENE DID YIU TELL US YOU WERE GOING TO THE MALLLLWHY DOES SOOBIN GET TO GO EITH YOU

soobin: because im just cunty like that. lolz

you: @gyu ummm probably bear

beomgyu: HEHHEEHHEH you want me so bad

kai: what kind of bear

taehyun: y/n?

you: guys isnt that so weird!!! a blank chat keeps popping up!!!???

soobin: your phones probably broken

brokxn like me... 🥀

yeonjun: i could take a bear

beomgyu: no thx peace and love but FOK no

kai: why isnt anyone questioning this odd taehyun behavior

you: who behavior?? never heard of it sry

yeonjun: taehyun like taehyun your bandmate... early dementia signs i fear now ditch soobin lets go get you checked up ^.^ beomgyu: shes upset because tyun said he was too busy to go out with her today

soobin:

taehyun: i really was busy. pdnim called me in for a meeting about the next Academy Reincarnation season.

you: k

soobin: me personally if i got hit with a k by txts silliest member i would kms lowk

beomgyu: NAWWWW ME TOOO

yeonjun: i'd get hard idk

kai: can we put him on a speaking ban again

yeonjun: PLSEASEESESESE NOOOOOO I'KK STOP PLS LAST TIME WAS HORRRRIBLE

beomgyu: why hasnt soobin gotten one yet hes always talking anf talking anf talking and talking AND HES A NERD LIKE DAMN!!!!!!!!!! PICK A STUGGLE!!!!!!!!!!

soobin: yk youre so nice to me when were alone...

yeonjun: 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

kai: 👀

taehyun: y/n reply to me me and i'll buy you whatever you want from prada

you: im their ambassador you twat

taehyun: right, yes sorry i forgot how about i bring you flowers and [your favourite food] to the dorm later?

you: deal

kai: HEY WTF ITS THST EASY? the last time you were mad at me you didnt talk to me for a whole SIX HOURS EVEN AFTER I APOLOGISED ON MY KNEES

beomgyu: guys if you weren't already an idol under bighit which bts member would you date

you: all 7

taehyun: jungkook

soobin: jin no wait hobi lowkey he's a cutie

beomgyu: you have to choose ONE y/n

yeonjun: jimin or tae kook is cool but i probably wouldn't be able to handle his fans

you: no ur so right actually i could not handle dating another idol LMFAOO

soobin: ???? wdym i spoke with ur mum already she gave me her blessings we can date :3 even as idols heheheheh you: she did not

soobin: did tooooooo

you: nuh uh when did you even meet her

taehyun: he's lying i was there

yeonjun: hahaha liar liar pants on fire

you: when the hell did you guys meet my mom

kai: well SOMEONE left us on a cliffhanger last week and didn't tell us who she was dating so we did the next best thing...

you: SAYYYT YOURE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW OMG IS THAT WHY MY MOTHER HAS BEEN SPAMMING MY PHONE ABOUT "COMING HOME FOR KIMCHI" ? CAUSE SHE KNOWS I DONT EVEN FW KIMCHI LIKE THAT

yeonjun:yea!!!!!!! tell them queen!!!!!!! why did you guys not invite me. fake fucks.

you: WHAT DID SHE EVEN SAY

soobin: something about how she thought you were a lesbian so she doesn't even know what we're talking about

you: well shes not half wrong

taehyun: anywho she did NOT give ANY blessings to anyone however she did say that you were getting older and needed to get more serious about future planning cause all you put your effort into is work

soobin: that was basically her speaking in maternal code for "hey you can marry my daughter once contracts are terminated" trust me id know

kai: maternal code?

soobin: yep im an expert

beomgyu: what the fuck does that even mean

soobin:

taehyun: sometimes i wonder about the state of your mental wellbeing soobin: you just need to match my 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 you wouldn't get it. yeonjun: taehyun gets our freak soobin 💯 he's the one who suggested recording the killa with our shirts off.. fucking freak

you: i suggested that actually :3 but tyun suggested the lights off for tinnitus

yeonjun: Y/N MY PRETTY PRINCESS QUEEN DARLING DEAR I DIDNT MEAN IT I SWEAR THAT WAS THE BESSSSSST SUGGESTION EVER THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT IM SORRY

beomgyu: you make me sick beomgyu left tubatu world domination kai: never a moment of peace in this household…

A/N: this has been marinating in my drafts and i HATE it but i need to get rid of it 🤔🤔🙏🏼💯🔥 pls accept this scrap cause i may be a little burnt out 😭😭🤣🤣😜👊

[peripaltepsy]

BEWARE OF "body mod advices" - they can be dangerous and LETHAL.

(this post was about a deactivated blog but extends to any possible future blog like it)

edit3 since he deactivated: Red told me in the DMs that he WILL be more careful about all this risk stuff, I believe he is going to do better. Im sure he's a good person and he also was extremely civil in the DMs. Since he's not here to defend himself anymore I'll gladly take his side and say that despite this mess, all Red wanted to do was indeed reduce harm and potentially save lives. Good luck on all your endeavors, Red, I wish you a beautiful and successful career and that you have a great positive impact in the atypical dysphoria community, both on and offline. I don't know how my post truly impacted you, I'm so sorry if you're feeling bad. You acted the best way you possibly could.

Second, if Red comes back, DO NOT HARASS HIM, let him be himself and don't let his past hold them down.

Third, all my points still stand for their deactivated blog and any potential body mod tips blogs in the future. Please everyone, take care, stay safe.

Past edit: DONT HARASS any possible blogs like hers, just REPORT and spread awareness, (also don't make the same mistakes as me: TALK TO THEM FIRST)

Past edit: minors please interact with this post, forget my bio for this one

Past edit: editing editing the post since I talked to Red and he isn't bait. I definitely should have talked to them in DMs first. I sincerely apologize. So sorry Red! To those reading, don't make the same mistake as me, ok? Always talk to people privately first, I genuinely fucked up bad. This mistake of assuming others intentions, can traumatize them. If I were in Red's shoes I'd be traumatized. So yeah, I fucked up bad.

Their intentions are genuine but my point still stands that its extremely dangerous and can't qualify as harm-reduction / end edit note

alright, I'm not transid/radqueer but you guys need to REPORT AND WARN OTHERS of these accounts as soon as they appear. Do not entertain them, no matter how desperate you are to transition. You can become a victim of dangerous charlatanism.

LONG POST AHEAD, VERY IMPORTANT NEVERTHELESS

Archive to what i'm about to post

Red claimed to be "a non-professional surgeon, planning on getting better with practice." Bad move!

Red has told me he's pursuing a medical degree and won't actually do non-qualified surgery.

.

Red: "The blog is centered around an idea of "extreme" body mods that I would like to explore further, [...] things like breaking and re-mending bones, creating new joints, replacing skin, etc."

My point: the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and your blog was unsafe.

.

To any possible counterarguments: "But they (people following/asking advice) know the risks!" That's victim-blaming. Red gave himself the responsibility to give harm-reducing advice, but he didn't do a good job.

"But I know the risks!" You can't possibly know the risks because Red doesn't know either or "kinda knows" but has not properly informed his audience, it didnt give sources, oversimplified their advice and failed to provide accurate information about risk. Or gave plain misinformation.

Again I'm not transid, I can't possibly imagine what you're going through in order to try anything at all to feel better, including trying experimental surgery not legally available or not researched at all. However, please please please do not become a victim of medical deceit or whatever tf it's called. Even if the blog owner tries their best to be reliable.

They might sound confident, but they do not know what they are saying, what they're telling others to do.

.

Ask: "How would I make my skin gray without tattoos?" (DO NOT SHAME THIS USER BTW)

Red: "[...] I assume you want permanent grey. To do this, it's pretty simple, although it'll take a lot of time. Basically, what you want to do is to constantly be exposed to lots of silver. Any product with silver in it like specific lotions and skin creams. also fish, milk, mushrooms, and whole grains tend to have silver in them! So tldr, consume lots of silver!"

STOP!!! DONT FOLLOW THIS ADVICE!!! DONT OVER-EXPOSE YOURSELF TO SILVER!!! "Silver toxicity causes argyria. Silver toxicity occurs when too much silver is in your body." <- from a simple research on "too much silver in blood"

THE RESULT WILL BE ARGYRIA. EVEN IF YOU DO IT SLOWLY, YOU ARE BUILDING UP A HEAVY METAL IN YOUR BODY. THE GREY SKIN IS NOT PRETTY NOR WITHOUT GRUESOME SIDE SYMPTOMS.

Yall. Anything in excess will fuck up your body, including iron, vitamins, and silver.

To whoever asked Red, I don't know your mind, but I'm sure you'd love to live a happy life with grey skin! You'd love to have a body you're comfortable with and looks rad as hell! But you wouldn't be able to enjoy it if you're deeply sick with ARGYRIA, WHICH IS WHAT RED'S ADVICE WILL GIVE YOU!

.

Ask: "How do I get darker skin without going too dark? I’m pale and burn easily, I just want a color similar to Lin Manuel Miranda" (AGAIN DONT HARASS THIS USER)

Red: [...] "expose yourself to the sun more! As you do this, you'll get tan which will protect you from future burns and make your skin slightly darker, do this enough and you can engineer your skin to be as dark as you want!"

THATS MISINFORMATION! Yes you may tan to get darker (Lin's tone may or may not be achievable to you) but one: it's not permanent unless you're constantly going out; two: SKIN CANCER!!!! DONT OVER-EXPOSE YOURSELF TO THE SUN!!!! USE SUNSCREEN!!

TO ANYONE SEEKING A MUCH DARKER TONE: YOU CAN'T "GO AS DARK AS YOU WANT TO" BY TANNING. Just look at people who have lived their whole lives outdoors like farmers! White people can't tan to black! There's a limit to how tan you may get! Are you seriously gonna risk skin cancer for an impossible thing???

.

Red: "Self amputation is really dangerous! You should learn how to use a tourniquet, that way, you can stop the bleeding! [...]" WHERE ARE YOU GETTING YOUR SOURCES, RED?

If anyone reading this is seriously thinking of amputating themselves, and will not change their minds no matter what, please just have someone immediately drive you to the hospital. I do not support such operation and you can still die or get horribly sick even with your best precautions, but you better receive actual medical attention and stay alive rather than trying to heal it yourself. Because what you'll most likely get from following Red's advice is DEATH FROM BLOOD LOSS. Again, if you absolutely cannot get rid of this dysphoria with therapy, or manage it at least, or have a doctor do it for you, I still would NEVER suggest you do it yourself, but IF you end up doing that then at least please go straight to the hospital instead of trying to heal it yourself.

.

Red: "do not try and break your own bones to make modifications! [...] Get another person (Like myself) to help you with the bone breakage instead."

NO ONE KNOWS WTF THEY'RE DOING. YOUR FRIEND DOESN'T. RED DOESN'T (as they advertised in the post). NO ONE IS GOING TO GET MODIFICATIONS LIKE THIS. NO ONE IS GOING TO BE HAPPY. EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE EITHER IN PAIN, RISK OF HORRIBLE INJURIES OR TROUBLE WITH THE LAW. FUCKING AROUND = GUARANTEED BOTCHED OPERATION.

Also, now that Red has clarified she won't perform surgery until having an actual degree, you can't really go to her XD

.

Red: "Some advice for surgery [...] This one's important, make sure your patient is strapped down and properly sedated, if they move, even slightly, you risk hitting a vital artery or organ, if you do hit an artery, don't panic, this is why you learned how to use a tourniquet! if you hit a vital organ though, odds are you won't know how to fix that, so be extra careful with abdomen and face surgery!"

Thats still promoting medical malpractice, mutilating and potentially killing friends, dangerously downplaying surgery so much, this is not harm-reduction

.

Ask: "I want to be blind in one eye, but more-so in the sense of extreme but not total vision loss. I want to do something permanent in the future!" (AGAIN DONT HARASS THIS USER)

Red: Well, a simple fix to your problem is just get some calcium hydroxide in your eye and wash it out a few minutes later, this should lead to permanent, extreme (but not total) vision loss in that eye. Keep it in too long and it can cause total vision loss so be careful!

Ok so, it's great that you're trying to come up with alternative ways for users not to kill themselves by gouging their eyes out, but you've still failed to give them the full picture

From a quick search "calcium hydroxide in the eyes": Exposure to the skin can produce burns, painful irritation and necrosis, and exposure to the eyes may cause severe pain and vision loss that can be temporary or permanent. If calcium hydroxide is exposed to the skin, contaminated clothing should be removed, excess amounts of the chemical should be wiped off and the affected skin should be flushed repeatedly with water. Victims of calcium hydroxide exposure to the eyes should flush their eyes with water continuously for the first 15 minutes, but all cases of external exposure should receive immediate medical care. Inhaling calcium hydroxide through the nose or mouth can also cause immediate, painful and potentially life-threatening complications. Throat and nasal passages may become painful and swollen, and the swelling may restrict airways, making breathing difficult or impossible. If the calcium hydroxide particles are carried all the way to the lungs, this may further complicate breathing. Victims of this type of exposure should be taken immediately to a fresh air environment, and emergency services should be contacted right away. Administration of oxygen and emergency respiratory assistance may be required.

.

Red (answering an ask): "the question shouldn't be what DO people replace their skin with, it should be what CAN they, after all, just because it's never been practiced or very rarely practiced doesn't mean it's bad or impossible! Of course, my personal favorite skin substitutes are rubber and red velvet, I am also a big fan of stainless steel."

(Don't promote such an operation). THIS OPERATION IS BAD AND IMPOSSIBLE TO SUCCEED. SKIN CAN ONLY BE REPLACED WITH SKIN. SKIN IS A LIVING ORGAN. ANY OTHER SUBSTITUTE WILL CAUSE YOU TO LOSE BODY PARTS OR DIE.

YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE WITH TRANSPLANTS NEED LIFE-LONG MEDICAL ATTENTION SO THEIR BODY DOESN'T REJECT IT? HOW TF WILL YOU DO THIS WITH FUCKING RED VELVET?

YOU WILL FUCK UP YOUR BODY'S IMMUNE SYSTEM A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS.

ANYWAYS. CROSSTAGGING FOR REACH. PLEASE EVERYONE REBLOG. THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT.

[thatfilthyanimal]

tw: stalking, grooming, pedophilia, sexual abuse, past suicidal thoughts

I've recently been made aware that Dupsy is still talking about me and is now going to random Megamind fans that don't know me and telling them to avoid me. I'm also aware that they're doing this in the Ruby Gillman fandom. I have no words to really describe the level of discomfort this brings me, but I will attempt.

First of all, all the "grooming" allegations were thoroughly debunked and proven to be bullshit. I can't believe I have to even say this. I'm a victim of grooming and sexual abuse myself. It's extremely traumatic and life-altering shit, and never something I would want to inflict on someone else. I feel like it should be obvious, with the measures I took in the server to ensure no child is exposed to such things. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to the shit that happened to me when I was growing up, and between processing that in therapy sessions and stomaching transitioning in a near-constant hostile-to-trans-people online social media hellscape, I am tired.

I love Megamind, more than anything, and this is known and obvious to anyone who's met me. This movie saved my life when I was extremely suicidal and planning to end my life back in 2010. Watching the movie when I did gave me something to focus on, a distraction, and a responsibility as a fandom member that helped distract me long enough to get out of the planning mindset I was in. Had I not seen the movie, I do not think I would have stuck around. I will leave it at that.

And moderating fandom spaces for Megamind has been lovely! I adore this fandom. The people in it are extremely talented and sweet, and just so damn nice, like by default. I say this all the time but I've never experienced another fandom space quite like it. There are usually bad eggs in fandoms, and perhaps -I- am said "bad egg" to some, but genuinely this one is special. I have always felt that way, even when the bad eggs show up and make a stink. It has always felt worth being here for, to me.

And while I hate to give Dupsy the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me, I need to be honest-- it's been rough. I stopped talking in my server, I locked up on most of my friends and stopped talking even in DMs. I still struggle with severe anxiety in the server and have talked to Dal on various occasions about transferring the server ownership to him. He's been very patient with my freakouts and super understanding, but it's still hard. This WAS a place I felt safe, for over ten years! And now it feels like any minor can just say I'm a groomer or a pedo or whatever with ZERO consequences, just because they're mad, just because these are words that make people go "oh shit" and listen, and man! It's not ok! And this coupled with the fact that trans people are often called groomers just for existing, just… man! I'm tired. I'm so tired.

There are real, severe, damaging effects to these claims being thrown around so casually. It's hurtful to me, as a victim of sexual abuse, because when I came forward to people about what happened when -I- was a minor, I was told I "wanted it" and "asked for it". It was made to be my fault that I was abused, and I internalized it for years. It nearly killed me. I cannot stress enough how important it is to not use claims like pedophilia and grooming so lightly-- these are VERY damning terms to use on people and should be reserved for people ACTUALLY HARMING OTHERS. Being mad I banned you from the server is not "abuse" and using my Customer Service Voice to be nice to you and then being obviously tired of you when you were banned is not "emotional grooming". What the actual fuck. ALSO. This was well over a year ago! Why am I still having to post about this? Why are you still TALKING about me? And yet again I ask, where the HELL are your parents?

Anyway, if you've been wondering why I've been so quiet these days and struggling to socialize… honestly? It's this. I hate that this is what did it. I know people trust and believe me, I know the fandom backs me up regularly and I appreciate them all so much for it. I see it, but I never know how to respond. You guys continue to make this fandom feel safe for me even when my entire brain is screaming to run, and I appreciate you so much for it.

Kids deserve to be trusted when they tell people they've been hurt and I hate that the recent proshipping discourse or whatever you want to call it, this culty all-or-nothing shit, has a bunch of minors growing up feeling like EVERYTHING is something to call rapey or predatory, with apparently little room to distinguish when REAL abuse is happening to them. I don't blame anyone for believing Dupsy, and it's honestly better they DO believe all unproven claims of abuse by default, just to stay safe-- but man, it has consequences that follow people, and really should not be a thing to just throw around because you're mad at someone. I just can't believe they're STILL going around and reaching out to strangers telling them to avoid me… like, what the fuck.

I will be ok, I always am eventually, but I needed to say something, because it's honestly been a while since I've said much of anything.

Keep being kind. <3

[thesummoningdark]

That post about redemption arcs really made me want to talk about my favourite adjacent character arc I've ever played out

So in a long running D&D campaign, I played the Token Evil Aligned Character in the party. No, don't look at me like that, I don't mean in an edgelord murderhobo kind of way. I mean that I was playing a drow who'd had to flee to the surface for reasons of Plot, and he had still entirely internalised the morality and social conventions of the culture he came from, but he was smart enough to figure out that he'd draw less attention and find less trouble if he at least gave the impression of giving a shit about the humans' weird moral hangups. Like oh so casual murder is frowned upon up here? Wild, but sure, I don't want arrested so whatever.

I joined the game at 8th level. The in-canon justification for my presence was that the party were travelling to a new region and one of their allies (the head of the thieves guild, who my character had retroactively been working for) ordered me to go with them to be their guide. Once my character figured out that they were on a quest of world-saving importance, he was fairly invested in helping, due to being one of the idiots who lived there. However this led to some fun and interesting in-character tension, as he was quite happy to employ methods in pursuit of this goal that the rest of the party were uncomfortable with.

(Both he and the chaotic neutral warlock were kept in line mostly by the looming disapproval of our 8ft tall lawful good goliath, and the associated threat of having their spines snapped if they took it too far)

The culmination of this initial mini-arc, of my character being in agreement with the party's goals but not necessarily trusting them to do what needed to be done if it really came to it, happened three years later. In the aftermath of a major battle (which our side lost) the party had to defeat a lieutenant of the main antagonist in order to get to safety. In the course of this fight my character was badly injured (mechanically: was knocked to 0hp in melee with this mini-boss, and only survived by the repeated application of healing cantrips to reset his death saves) and when the party got the upper hand, the lieutenant took him hostage and threatened to kill him if they didn't let her go. I want to stress at this point that when I'd built my character, the DM and I had discussed a contingency subplot that would come into play if he died. Death was an extremely realistic possibility at this point, from both a mechanical and a DM-steering-the-story perspective.

And the lawful good goliath, the one who this entire time had been insisting that the ends didn't justify the means, that they couldn't sacrifice individuals in pursuit of their goals, looked her in the eye and told her to go fuck herself.

It's one of my favourite pieces of RP I've ever seen done. And it was such a huge turning point in my character's relationship with the goliath in particular, who he now had a genuine respect for; and with the party as a whole, now that he was able to believe he really could trust them to make the hard choices if they had to.

I know everyone gets overinvested in their own game, but I genuinely think we all did a great job with that whole arc. I love that it wasn't just the characters from the deep end of the alignment pool being 'tamed', but also a reciprocal process of the good-aligned characters coming to trust that their more extreme methods would be used judiciously and not without good cause. That there was room for different approaches to working towards their cause and different reasons for supporting it.

[princessfarts31]

so I don’t really vent like this but like here goes it.

so I’ve been single like seriously single since high school (I’m turning 23 in a couple weeks so you do the math). I’ve only been in situationships since then.

now I was in a serious situationship (I basically call this man my ex) for like a year. Then I met my now ex bf I was with for a short amount of time bc he very quickly realized he couldn’t do anything serious. I’ll admit we rushed it.

then I met that guy who I told yall seemed perfect, was my type and was into all this stuff? ya he realized too he was “too busy”. now I’m not here to invalidate anyone but I’m getting my PhD at 22 and I have a couple internships and places I volunteer at the exact same time and I work 😑 so please do enlighten me and tell me about how busy you are.

anyway, somewhere after all that ended a good friend of mine and I somehow ended up messing around. He is the last guy I ever saw myself fooling around with. Luckily I didn’t let it go anywhere as I realize very quickly that although I can see myself falling for him I deserve better than him. He’s a player who just messes around. He says whatever he needs to to make girls fall for him. He’s stayed a friend but simply just a friend I talk to very rarely now.

my love life went from 0%/ toxic ass situationships where I was delusional and settling for the least. then I magically ended up meeting a bunch of people who although in hindsight weren’t good for me, they still treated me well and gave me great experiences looking back on. they taught me a lot about myself and my values and what i look forward to. However. The excuse that they’re too busy or not ready for a relationship but really really like me has never stopped being frustrating.

I’m genuinely sick of men at the moment. like actually. i crave romance and a good serious relationship with a good man. but i think ive had so much of them recently that im repulsed but the idea of them rn. don’t get me wrong talking to yall on here is completely different. i love talking and chatting! but i get so many dms of people wanting to just “chat” but then they never make small talk they instantly jump into fat chat or farts and stuff. Like I don’t mind talking about our mutual kinks but when you turn the conversation into how hot and bothered im making you 🤢

anyway that’s my rant ✋🏼✋🏼 I love yall. send me asks. I’m like 95% likely to answer those rather than my dms tbh.

[kanerallels]

So I told my sister and a couple other people I would post this, and here it is! Just some ponderings about Kanan in the Hera is a Jedi au that turned themselves into a ficlet. Set mid-season one of SWR, and rated G!

Taglist: @firefoxtessa @day-to-day-thots @auroramagpie @laughingphoenixleader @accidental-spice @heckin-music-dork @opalknight @cassie-fanfics and I'm also gonna tag @xxxcertifiednerdxxx, solely because you're accidentally the reason I wrote this. Feel free to ignore the tag, though! (also if anyone wants to be added or removed from the taglist, DM me!)

“What’s Kanan’s job around here, anyways?”

Hera barely glanced up at Ezra’s question as she removed yet another part from her lightsaber, which lay in pieces in front of her on the worktable in her room. “What do you mean?”

Frowning, Ezra said, “Everyone’s got a role, you know? Zeb is the muscle and Chopper’s the homicidal hacker droid, and Sabine’s the explosives expert, and you’re the Jedi and the pilot and the boss all at once. You’re all really talented, you know?”

A smile hovered at the edge of Hera’s mouth as she picked up a miniscule tool and used it to unscrew another part. “Flattering as always, Padawan. Your point being?”

“Kanan doesn’t really have a role,” Ezra said, watching her work. “Hey— couldn’t you use the Force for that?”

“I could,” Hera agreed, removing the part. “But I like to do it this way.” Setting aside her tool, she finally met Ezra’s eyes. “Why does it matter what Kanan’s role is? He’s here to help us fight, and that’s what’s important.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Someone say my name?”

Ezra and Hera glanced up as Kanan stuck his head through the open door, lifting a curious brow. “Ezra wants to know your role in this crew,” Hera said dryly. “Any thoughts?”

“Oh, obviously,” Kanan said. “Professional chef, and eye candy.” He shot a wink at Hera, who rolled her eyes, before turning to Ezra. “But in all seriousness— I’m whatever we need at the moment. That’s where I do my best work. Speaking of best work, how do enchiladas sound for dinner? I found some of those peppers you and Zeb love so much at the market, Captain Hera.”

“That sounds amazing, love,” Hera said, shooting him a smile as he slipped back out and down the hall. After a moment, she directed her gaze back to Ezra. “Does that answer your question?”

“...kind of?”

Chuckling, Hera said, “Well, if you’re still wondering, why not ask the rest of the crew? They might have some good insight. And you could always try meditating on it.”

“I think I’ll talk to the others,” Ezra said hastily, getting to his feet. Hera looked amused, but gave him a nod before returning to her lightsaber maintenance with laser-like focus.

The first crew member he encountered was Chopper, and Ezra knew better than to bother with him. Not that he’d care, anyways, the droid was crazy. Instead, he headed for the lounge, where he found Zeb cleaning his bo-rifle.

The Lasat directed a frown at him— but it wasn’t his real, “why are you near me do you want to suffer” scowl, just his all purpose “I’m pretending to be grumpy cause it makes me look cool” frown. “Thought you were training with Hera.”

“I was,” Ezra said, dropping onto a crate nearby. “But then I asked her a question—”

“You? Ask a question? Color me real surprised.”

“Ha, ha,” Ezra said, scowling at him. “Listen. I asked her what Kanan’s role was on the ship.”

“Really?” Zeb paused in his cleaning and glanced up, interest flashing through his eyes. “What did she say?”

“Why? Wait— do you not know either?”

“‘Course I know. Just curious about what she said.”

“Sure. Well, she said that it wasn’t important, then told me to ask everyone else. Kanan says he’s whatever he needs to be. Well, first he flirted with Hera, then he said that.”

Snorting, Zeb said, “Sounds about right.”

“So what do you think? What’s Kanan’s role?”

The Lasat shrugged, setting aside a cleaning rag. “Dunno. He’s just Kanan.” He glanced up in time to see Ezra’s scowl, and sighed. “Look, kid. You’re taking this too seriously. It’s not really about roles, anyways. It’s about why we’re here.”

“What do you mean?”

Finally, Zeb set down his bo-rifle. “You know, why we’re fighting the Empire.” He paused, his expression turning uncharacteristically somber. “You know why I’m doing it. And Hera’s pretty obvious, more than just the Jedi stuff.”

“She’s passionate about making stuff right,” Ezra guessed. “Well, what about Sabine?”

“What about me?”

Ezra and Zeb both looked up to see Sabine, carrying a handful of paint-covered rags and looked satisfied with herself. “Kid wants to know what Kanan’s role is, why he’s here,” Zeb said, nodding at Ezra. “Then he asked about you.”

“Seriously?” Sabine rolled her eyes. “Tell me you two aren’t this clueless. He’s here for Hera, obviously.”

“Well, I know that,” Ezra said, feeling himself flush slightly as Sabine ducked into the kitchen and returned without the rags. “But, like, does he have another reason? And what’s his job, you know? He’s kinda just some guy, not a Jedi or pilot like Hera, and not a master warrior like Zeb, or an explosive expert like you.”

“True,” Sabine acknowledged. “But not everyone in the Rebellion has to be as amazingly talented as we are. Most of us have a personal problem with the Empire. Could be Kanan does, too. But why does it matter?”

“I… guess it doesn’t,” Ezra said slowly. “It just didn’t make any sense to me that he’s the odd one out, I guess.”

Sabine shook her head impatiently. “You’re putting too much stock in the “everyone needs to be crazy skills” thing, kid. Look, Kanan’s a great shot, and a decent co pilot.”

“Amazing cook, too,” Zeb offered, and Sabine nodded.

“True. But what’s most important is that he has our backs. He looks out for us, in big ways and little ones. He knows what we need and he makes sure we can do our jobs well. We couldn’t do this without him. Got it?”

“I… I do, actually,” Ezra said. “Thanks.”

Kanan announced dinner was ready around an hour later, and the crew gathered in the lounge to eat. Hera took her usual seat, and Ezra dropped onto a crate nearby. “Did you figure out the answer to your question, Padawan?” she asked him, a hint of amusement in her eyes.

Setting down his fork, Ezra said, “I did, actually.” He paused, feeling the crew’s eyes on him, but Hera nodded for him to go on. “Your role isn’t an obvious one like Zeb or Hera,” he told Kanan, who was sitting opposite them, his plate balanced on one knee. “You’re here to watch our backs and make sure we’re okay, and take care of us. You’re… kind of the glue that holds us all together. Without you, we wouldn’t have made it this far.” He looked at Hera. “Am I right?���

His master was smiling, first at Ezra, and then at Kanan, who seemed surprised. “You’re absolutely right,” she told him. “Well done, Ezra.”

“Not bad, kid,” Zeb said.

Shrugging, Ezra said, “Hey, Kanan said it first— he’s whatever we need him to be. I think that counts, right?”

Kanan let out a chuckle, shaking his head. “Can’t argue there, I guess.” Shooting a wink at Hera, he added, “I still think I count as eye candy, though.”

“Of course you do, dear,” Hera said, rolling her eyes.

[koshirulynn]

-Use me to get over him-

High school AU-Mysta Rias x reader-pt2 of 'As you wish'

In which your friendship between you and your classmate gets confusing. With your crush showing mixed signs and your classmate makes his move.

(Please do not take this seriously. This is for fun and fun only. If any streamer comes across this I apologize! Anyways please enjoy!!"

--Recap--

"I see I see, did you get their number?Hehe"

"Shit,I didn't"

"Ah it should be fine, you could always get it tomorrow yknow"

"Yknow what, I actually will"

-The next day-

Munching on your favorite meal for breakfast is the best thing that has happened to you all this week. Other than the news of what your crush had brought upon you, you still couldn't help but still like him. Human emotions were something confusing to everyone, you knew that you would find yourself eventually.

With your headphones on the table and your textbook at the side, you decided to take a small break from reading the book and look on social media. Ignoring the irrelevant people like your annoying cousins you realize that you have like 7 messages from the same person. Your science lab partner, Shu Yamino.

--

Shu.YaMinion69: Mysta has something to ask you later

Shu.YaMinion69:*insert meme*

Shu.YaMinion69:Also I need help with the science homework-

Shu.YaMinion69:BTW C/n texted me to tell you that he will meet you in the 'place where he pulled you last time'

Shu.YaMinion69:I think he is a weirdo but like he could have texted you instead of me

Shu.YaMinion69:You need to tell me about whatever he meant, we have science tomorrow so yes

Shu.YaMinion69:Look at this

Shu.YaMinion69:*insert reel*

--

Reading the texts, you found it also odd that C/n texted Shu instead of you. You follow him on nearly every social platform there is and you guys also did text before because of projects and homework. It was truly weird to you but in reality, this guy was only using you to get closer to R/n. He just didn't want to be in your dm's because he knew that R/n was the jealous type. She would accuse him of cheating even if the texts shared between the two parties were from just two weeks before they started dating. She was that delusional.

Noticing the time, you replied to Shu quickly and shoved your books in your bag. Plugging your headphones in and slid on your shoes. You began your cold morning to school. 'how enjoyable.'

--

The day was going far too normal for your liking well that was until you were pulled into the janitor's closet. 'this is definitely C/n's doings' You thought to yourself but only to be proven wrong when you heard the unique voice of Mysta Rias himself.

"Heyy um Hi Y/n" The grip on your wrist was bearable but still it was tight. You gave him a confused look before opening your mouth.

"Mysta? Why did you pull me in here-hehe I thought that you were c/n"You chuckled to yourself at the thought of your crush but remembered again about what he told you the day before.

"Well, that's kinda the- actually no. I wanted to ask you for your number" His tone set you off, he looked a bit frantic but what he was asking you was something much different. You saw a pen in the pocket of his buttoned shirt so you took it. Next thing Mysta knew, you were scribbling the digits of your number on the back of his hand.

The fox-like boy kept looking at the door but the grip on your wrist had loosened a bit."Why are you so scared?"You questioned Mysta while you finished writing the last three numbers.

"There is something I wanted to ask of you and I did?"He scratched the back of his head with his other hand. Seemingly that he was still nervous around you, you let go of his hand.

"Why so unsure? anyways I want to eat my fo-"

"WAIT! Uh I mean I saw two students making out in the classroom beside and I just don't want you to see that cause they were getting into it. All SLOPPY yeah- and it just was a stomach-churning scene hehe" It was like Mysta was lying between his teeth cause he latched onto your wrist once more.

"We've both seen Shoto and Vox get all sloppy at that one party before, I think I can take thi-" He squeezed your wrist tighter.

"Trust me, it is bad, let's just wait another 5 minutes please.."He was really begging you to not go even though he got your number. Sighing in defeat, you just gave in to him.

"Okay Mysta, you win" you smiled at him and the male student in front of you returned the favor, letting go of you once again.

There were still 15 minutes of lunch left so both you and Mysta decided that the coast was clear now. Mysta even double-checked by looking both left and right as he poked his head out of the janitor's closet.

--

As you parted ways, Mysta whipped out his phone and Dm'ed Shu.

MystariasRias: I found C/n and R/n making out in the spare, empty classroom beside the janitor's closet and Y/n was gonna walk by.

Seen

--

There were many incidents where Mysta had to pull you aside to prevent you from seeing R/n and C/n kissing, hugging, and doing couple things in the open. This was happening for the rest of the week and you questioned it after the second time Mysta did it.

You were going to the canteen/cafeteria but then you were stopped once you saw Mysta across the hall. This just made you turn to face the other side and walk the longer route.

He was speed-walking to you but you honestly didn't want to be pulled aside once more. 'Not this again' You internally groaned to yourself because you knew that you would end up being in a secluded area with Mysta and miss out on half of your lunch again.

"Y/n wait!-" you were tugged into the embrace of the fox-like boy but your eyes met with familiar ones. It was C/n but looking down, you saw R/n holding his hand, fingers interlocked.

"Oh Hi Y/n, uh we have to get going, goodbye" You were devastated, you found your own rival with your crush. Well, now ex-crush. She always takes whoever you liked in the end. 'How tiring' They were heading in the direction you came from, looking at the as they passed by. R/n looked back and waved while smiling at you then she continued to follow C/n.

Pulling into a hug, Mysta stroked your hair while you just stay there in shock. You were still processing what just had happened. Thinking that all those times, Mysta was protecting you from seeing your own crush with your rival. The person who betrayed you.

Once the information processed in, you began to tear up and cry. Your arms tightened around him, pulling you in by the waist as you let all your emotions erupt. It was comforting as it lasted, you wanted to stay in his warm embrace but he pulled you into the classroom where C/n and R/n had come from. It was where your next class was.

"Use me to get over him"

Mysta,who was hugging you. It was all friendly as you let go of all your frustrations. His hands were wrapped around you like he was protective of you. Then and there,you realised that Mysta was the one who like you for you.

In a whispered tone, the fox like male hushed you with his welcoming voice.

"as you wish"

In all honesty, this was really short and not really well made because I have been sick for the past 2 weeks . I hope you guys enjoyed it regardless <3

--Use me to get over him-pt2 done--

taglist: @yukkitosposts , @gh0stwrl , @hisanory2702

[slowthunders]

i will stand for myself and deffend my integrity perfectly fine as i have no absolute silly bitch to be afraid of and i have the godamn right to get this off my chest.

i have a life to live, a job to keep, an adulthood to survive and real serious things to focus on. which why this is the only post addressing my position on this mortifying incident that i got dragged on by bambi. these levels of slander i was placed on are beyond disgusting, i will no longer tolerate such false dirt.

i will break down my side little by little, with pears and apples. as many of y'all have shown your evident illiteracy.

tw: mentions of fatphobia, death wishes and transphobia

1. masha and applewillowstone

how foolish is to somehow revisit the deal with said person in which i previously addressed, it can be found here for what its worth. i never denied the toxicity or her and apple's actions, i gave masha the benefit of doubt back then and that was part of my mistakes, i still admit with transparency.

this prompted me to re-value who i was supporting, reflect through it, eventually chose to do the right thing by unfriending her, get critical of her transphobia her hostility and privately apologize to whoever i needed to.

bambi, you're getting your 180 wackadoo claims out of nowhere with the purpose of making me look like this shady form, it ain't working.

yes, there were moments i was catty and problematic in my conversations with masha, many of that is dumb shit i am not proud of which i grew up from ever since i cut ties from masha, except what i admitted directly to you. suck it up.

it is wild that for my involvement, which really wasn't as horrific compared to the abusive thing these individuals did, makes people believe i deserve to receive fatphobia, being called a whore, being falsely acused of transphobia and even be told to fucking kill myself through anonymous hate. y'all are taking your unconformity with the wrong bitch.

i refuse to go on an apology tour to the whole community as i did not get involved in the serious trauma infliction that these individuals were exposed for. i refuse to be punished for things i did not commit.

my job with this dead horse was already finished and even after that, some of y'all chose to still think whatever fugazzi ass rumour about me story your tiny little brains decide to stick with then fine, stick with that imaginary idea of me. life goes on.

for the ones up to question me and have doubts on this situation like the civil grown human beings with zero hateration you are: great! i'll be more than glad to answer as i technically have nothing to hide and lose. my DMs are always open.

i no longer know what else to do to prove i worked with this deal with what i had and i did the correct things at the end. i no longer care. flip the page and stop lying on this right here, bambi.

2. the "bullying" acussations

it has come to my attention how now valid open criticism equals bullying. what an interesting case to study...

bambi, i'm still trying to figure out how the hell, you were told by ivy that he can't fuck with your friend for valid reasons politely, then you chosing to try making ivy feel like shit for asking you to respect boundaries and rather than being quiet, mind your own business and be a grown woman about it you CHOSE to be rude to ivy, fight him which rightfully prompted him to block you, still you decide to cherry pick the pieces for your own gain to paint yourself as the victim once freaking again for pity points, yet seeing how literally no one except the cult of enablers that you are part of, disagreed with you with solid facts...

tell me how did you think this will be a terrific idea and allow you to get away with shit without proper backlash?

criticism ≠ bullying

you fucked up and got yourself canceled. stop twisting the deal arround me and my choice to stand and support ivy. this is nobody's fault but yours.

3. the reason why i blocked you

is simple: you constantly brag out loud in pompous ways how you swear to be an innocent love and light little birdie full of rainbows and sunshines and cupcakes yet your actions demonstrate the whole rancid opposite.

i started to look through your shit long time ago. you are the epitome of wolf in sheep's clothing, you pretend to be something you definitely are not online, you love stirring pots but once it all backfires on you with valid disagreements, you run behind your 'but i hate discourse!!' shield.

i'm not the only person who has noticed it. this particular pathern is not normal.

the sky is blue i did not make the rules.

i am erratic, problematic, argumentative, mean ill-tempered and raw which 93% of it is thanks to my ptsd and autism spectrum, sure. but i'm not around claiming i'm a good person. that right there bambi, is the big difference between me and you.

now if you and your little bunch of cult weirdos excuse me, i'd like every single of you bitches to leave me the fuck alone, stop putting words that my devices did not touch and rub some grass. bambi, quit twisting the scenario to surround me. admit you did whole wrong and apologize to ivy, as your actions messed him over and prompted him to close HGC.

you assholes, you childish turds, specially Y'ALL, bitch about antis on billy hargrove tumblr but y'all are doing the whole different agenda of textbook rancid that only feeds our already fucked up reputation. congratulations, your nonsense division is also actively giving us all a bad name.

bambi, put yourself together and get the fuck off my dick.

[maryellencarter]

okay, this may not be terribly coherent, but i think if anyone in the fandom still follows me, it's important for them to know.

earlier this summer, in addition to my wonderful partner of 6 years @camshaft22 , i agreed to date @johnhawkens , my gaming buddy. i knew he'd had some trouble with alcoholism previously, but he swore he was sober now. after losing my job, i moved up here so we could try to get disability and housing together, because arizona was absolutely horrendous for being homeless and i was not doing that a third time. the social services in this state are indeed much better. however, he had a lot of trouble with various applications falling through, crossed communications, and so forth. after three months in a group halfway house, they couldn't keep him any longer but he had nowhere else to go, so he wound up moving back in with his folks, who did not want him there but were prepared to tolerate him if he kept working hard on his housing.

on friday, november 10, i'm trying to be precise in my dates as far as i've been able to figure out, he got like four different pieces of bad news at once. he dug out some stashed liquor he'd hidden in his room about six months previous (before the halfway house or anything), got drunk, hid the bottle, forgot he hid the bottle, woke up and couldn't find it, assumed his folks had rifled through his stuff while he was asleep, and confronted them about hiding the bottle. this did not go well.

(he's always told me his folks are abusive, and i haven't questioned it too hard as mine definitely were, but i really have to wonder how much is... well, for example, do they actually go through his stuff when he's asleep or does he merely get confused and think they did?)

saturday and sunday, the 11th and 12th, were rough. i comforted him as much as i could, offered to drive up and get him, offered to help with his paperwork, talk to his case managers, whatever. on saturday he told me his father was insisting on seeing his paypal in order to find out if he had bought alcohol, and therefore sent me all the money in it to hold while he deleted the entire account to remove the history. he said he didn't want to get scolded for "unnecessary" purchases like games, which, sure, fine, my folks were like that, but it does mean he can't prove to anybody he *didn't* buy alcohol. (he's set it back up with the same email now.)

on sunday night, the 12th, he went radio silent, except for one DM to me about half past one on monday morning, which as far as i could find out was the last anyone had heard from him. i gave it a couple days, poking him on discord, texting him, calling him, and finally on tuesday evening, the 14th, i started messaging everyone i knew who talked to him, asking if they'd heard anything. nobody had.

on wednesday, i was basically assuming he'd killed himself and i'd missed my chance early monday morning to talk him down. i started looking up obituaries. i started talking about memories of him with his friends, at least the ones i'm reasonably close to myself. and i started to find out that his versions of some stories he'd told me were... weirdly different, from the ways the other people in the same stories remembered them. the other people's versions often seemed more in character to everyone i thought i knew.

we also found out that some of the times he'd messaged us for money lined up weirdly with times he'd claimed to have "drug interactions" making him act strange, and times he'd asked me for a lift. furthermore, i'd recently found out that his free phone "through insurance" was actually a lifeline program phone, which is all income-based through the government, so the time he'd told several of us that he needed a one-time payment to be allowed to keep it... did not fit with how i know the lifeline program actually works, especially since his carrier is verizon-owned and i have the entire verizon internal policy page on lifeline right up here in my damn photographic memory. so we sort of found ourselves edging toward "we hate to disbelieve our friend but we're having trouble making the puzzle pieces fit into the shape he wants".

on wednesday night he messaged me to let me know he was alive. hadn't eaten, hadn't slept, had just been existing in a depression spiral. which, okay, yeah, i've been there. we didn't talk much then because it was my bedtime and honestly i crashed hard from the relief of knowing he was alive.

on thursday, i didn't hear from him. in the evening i called him, and he sounded horrible, couldn't put more than two words together at a time. He told me he'd been having "waking nightmares", and at the time, I was like yeah, that happens to me when I'm off my CPAP, I get so sleep deprived I hallucinate and can't actually fall asleep, it's a problem. I told him he had to get to a hospital, preferably the one near me so I could visit, and he agreed to talk to his folks about it in the morning.

In the morning, we coordinated, his mom and I exchanged numbers, and they agreed to drive him down to the hospital. His mom sounded super happy that he had someone as committed as me who'd be able to give him the support he needed. I met them at the hospital that afternoon -- traffic was absolutely horrendous, so they had to head back home immediately, but they were happy to leave John in my hands, and he indicated he'd rather have me handle it than them as well.

John used to be a 911 dispatcher, so he does at least know that you fucking tell the medics what you've been drinking. Which it seems is why he didn't want his folks around for his intake, because that's when he dropped the bombshell that after running out of liquor made for drinking, he'd continued with isopropyl alcohol, better known as rubbing alcohol.

This hospital has a unique setup where if you're at the ER for psych issues, they don't necessarily whole-ass admit you to the psych ward, they have these little overnight "pods" where you can spend the night and they can assess you. So once John was checked in, I spent a few hours cuddling with him and chatting.

I got his meds list (and eventually found out that combining his particular meds with alcohol will cause hallucinations, hence the "waking nightmares"). He told me enough about the disgusting taste of the rubbing alcohol and how difficult it was to choke down enough to get a buzz off it, that I definitely believe he had been drinking it, although his breathalyzer came back zero so probably not as recently as he thought he had. He also told me that at some point, my best guess is Thursday, he got back in touch with @dukeswonderousmenagerie who let him know that AO3's oxfordRoulette had posted a new Jiglup oneshot; John attempted to read the oneshot, found that his reading comprehension was badly impaired, decided *getting drunk would help*, and managed to down enough rubbing alcohol to get a buzz for about 10-30 minutes (his time sense is also utterly fucked but I can't judge anyone for that), after vomiting it up multiple times.

After leaving the hospital so John could get a night's sleep, I talked the matter over with Leia. I told her the hospital would almost certainly only hold him overnight, especially since he'd told them he didn't have a plan to kill himself. ("He doesn't *think* he has a plan, but if he goes back home he will die," I said.) She agreed that I needed to fight with the hospital doctors to refer him to rehab, or however that works. My bunkmate here at the shelter, who used to be a hospice nurse, told me exactly who at the hospital I should make my case to, but warned me it would be a waiting game.

I hoped to get to the hospital on Saturday morning, the 18th, before they discharged him, and go directly to the doctors. I did not manage this; by the time I got there, John was already sitting right by the elevators and had called his folks for pickup. (He insists that he called me first but couldn't get through, and being a cell phone professional I know I can't quite disprove it, but I sure didn't have any missed calls. I had his number set to ring even when my phone is silenced, too.)

I asked John to let me talk to the doctors to refer him to rehab, a sober house, *anything* but going back to a place where he was already depressed enough to drink rubbing alcohol. He flat-out refused. He told me rehab was the worst experience of his life, and I listened closely while he rambled about it and did not manage to communicate any other reason to me except "I couldn't drink". He insisted he absolutely had to be somewhere he could "get out and about". (He also admitted he'd been able to get an Uber order of alcohol while he was at his halfway house, although he insists that was before I was up here and nothing to do with any of the times he asked me for money or -- God forgive me -- the time I ran a fundraiser for him.)

So he went back north with his folks. I talked to Leia about the conversation I'd had with him, and she was like "I know he doesn't want them to know but we have got to tell his folks to dump out the rubbing alcohol, for his own safety", and I was like "I just wish I knew if that was the right choice" and she was like "I'll do it and take full responsibility, blame me". So that's what we did. Leia texted his mom, his mom told him "we cannot be the support you need, get out of here and call 911 or a rehab".

And John called me, demanded I lie and say it was all a misunderstanding, insisted that if he has to go to rehab or any locked-down living situation where he can't get liquor he will just die sooner. I conferenced Leia into the call, following the plan.

Now, you have to know that Leia does not lie. Ever. Ever ever. I don't think she has in her entire adult life, or something like that. It's her one rule of morality. I absolutely expected her to laugh in his face, "fuck no I will not lie for you, listen to yourself, you have to get it together, man".

Instead, she folded. I did not realize she was so traumatized from the last much worse time I was on the streets, back in 2018, that she couldn't make herself be responsible for someone else being put out on the streets.

I told him, "She doesn't lie, man. Ever." He begged and pleaded and wheedled and demanded, and... She agreed to lie for him. She went -- scary, so scary it wasn't even sexy, scarier than Keith Silverstein Lupin at his darkest, she threatened him that if he ever drinks again he will die slowly and painfully, but he didn't take any of it seriously, which is possible even stupider than drinking isopropyl alcohol.

But anyway, she told John's mom it was all a misunderstanding. She's the worst liar ever, she sounded like she was reading a script against her will, but her normal affect is so autistically flat anyway that Mama Hawkens (this is not her real name) bought it. I did make John convince her to put the isopropyl alcohol in his parents' bathroom past a gauntlet of security cameras, anyway, but he's already bragged to me in the past that he knows how to dodge or circumvent security cameras.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but his mom was right to want to throw him out. Me, I'm saying this. But it was her only possible remaining bit of leverage to try to get him to seek help. And it didn't work, because of me, because I wasn't strong enough to tell him no myself, because I put Leia on the spot.

If he had asked for help, if he'd been "my folks are throwing me out and I have no ride, come up here and get me to a rehab", I would have done it, even if it'd taken all night and had lost me my bed at the shelter. But he didn't. He doesn't want help. He wants enabling. He'd rather be somewhere he can drink, even if he's in fear of his life (I don't know any longer how accurately).

It took me some time to figure out how to break up with him. I've never gone through a breakup before. But if he can and will mess with *Leia's* head that severely, he is not a safe man to talk to, for me or anyone. He will make you sympathize and take his side. He will suck all the money out of you that he can and drink it away. And eventually, someday, he will die.

I told Mama Hawkens "I still want to hear about any major developments with him, if you'd be willing to text me." I told John, "Don't kid yourself that this means I'd ever take you back. I want to know when you die, so your remaining friends can be spared the pain of not knowing."

*shrugs* I don't know how to end this post. Feel free to ask me any questions. I may be slow to answer. I... I loved the man I thought he was. We were going to make a life together. I'm still crying, grieving. I've lost both my Jigen buddies in about six months flat. But I can't be with someone who can or will even *think* of demanding that Leia lie for them. I know I can't even talk to him again or he'll get right back under my skin. I'm a mess, but I just want my side of the story out there, for when his next poor deceived enabler starts trying to figure out the truth.

edit: I JUST FOUND OUT HE WAS ALREADY DATING SOMEONE ELSE ONLINE WHEN HE PROPOSITIONED ME

wow i guess i have a whole story about my crazy ex now huh *yikesarooni*

[ecliip]

debated actually posting this but i need to get it out and i can always delete it later. kind of a really heavy vent below. idk. tw for grooming i think

well idk if this guy counted as a groomer at the time since he was only a year older than me but. i was doubting whether i actually was coerced into talking about sexual shit with him or if i was just a stupid curious kid and then i found these old messages between us in a server and. huh yeah no this is fucking creepy and i was being pressured

for uh. context. the character he wanted me to roleplay was a fanfiction version of myself that was a rapist (please do not ask. the topic is extremely uncomfortable for me and i dont want to talk about it.) and i’d previously struggled with finding dms because i deleted them a long time ago which would provide i guess proof of him pressuring me so i was worried i just. made it all up in my head. so this is simultaneously relieving to know i wasnt making it up in my head and also sickening. because jesus christ i was 13 i was fucking 13. i hate him i hate him i hate him

and god dammit one of the worst parts is that nobody was there for me when i asked for help. nobody FUCKING listened when i told them i was uncomfortable around him that i wanted him to stop that i didnt want anyone else to get hurt by him. i cant help but still be so god damn ANGRY. i know theyve changed i know theyve become better people i know they recognized his actions as bad and apologized but they didnt help me. they didnt believe me or didnt care enough or fucking WHATEVER it was that made them think i was fine. i came to people i trusted. people i loved. for help and safety and reassurance and they had the fucking nerve to tell me its normal and hes just a hormonal teenage boy and that i just had to fucking endure it. and i cant help but feel so fucking angry still. and i hate it. i hate being angry at people who dont deserve it. its not like i gave many details i was still ashamed i know context was missing. but you didnt help me when i needed it most. and i cant help but hate you just a little for it.

i was kinda iconic for telling him off like this when i was 14 though at least