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formulakracing · 11 months ago

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xv. everlong - t.w.

pairing: female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count: 3.0k

warnings: age gap relationship, team principal x driver relationship, cursing, marijuana use, alcohol use, toto being down bad per usual, light angst, toto is not the best person for a minute, mentions of divorce/separation, some lighttttt smut (the heavy smut will be included in the next chapter! promise!) oral (f! receiving), some realllll sweet n tender shit, yadayadayada

a/n: this chapter is probably one of my top five favorites, if not favorite chapter of this series. although it would be pretty hard to top chapter xii., i really enjoyed writing this one! to set the mood for the chapter, i have a few song recs to listen to as you read! please try to listen to them in order, as they really set the tone/vibe of golden girl x toto! <3 also, a huge shoutout to the anon who inspired me to write about gg x toto smoking together!! :)

little hell - city and colour

alkaline - sleep token

one way (feat. t-pain) - 6lack, t-pain

everlong - foo fighters

skin - mac miller

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“toto, tell me. are you in love with her?”

yes, susie. i am.

she is a divine being, bringing me to my knees at the sight of her. she is the sun, a bright, radiant beacon of light and warmth. her touch alone makes me weak. my mind is consumed with thoughts of her every waking second. i’ve been apart from her for so long, i can barely hold it together right now.

the team principal inhales sharply, letting out a shaky breath, “i – i can’t answer that.”

“you are, aren’t you?” susie’s expression is unreadable, “you’re in love with her. if this was just some fuck you wouldn’t be acting this way.”

there it was again.

that pang of jealousy deeply interwoven in her fiery retort.

“susie,” toto begins, scrambling for formulate some sort of coherent response, “i don’t know what to say or how to respond in a manner that will make this any more–”

“no,” she holds up a hand, “you do not have to explain yourself to me any further. i know you love that girl. you wouldn’t have let her pull that little stunt if you didn’t.”

“it wasn’t just some little stunt–”

“exactly,” susie shakes her head, tears glistening in the light, “it wasn’t just some publicity stunt to you. i could tell that you enjoyed that kiss, toto. you were practically making out with her for fuck’s sake.”

“susie,” toto rises to his feet, “we made an agreement, remember? we wanted this. both of us.”

“but that doesn’t mean i have to act like it doesn’t tear me apart seeing you with someone new. someone younger than me. someone who is far more beautiful than i ever will be. someone who can bear more children for you. someone who will–”

“susie, stop. cut that shit out right now.”

“why?” she demands, whipping her head towards the team principal, “why are you so stone cold as i’m falling apart in front of you? why does this not bother you?”

“because,” toto coughs, clearing his throat, “i don’t love you anymore. that’s why. all of those feelings, they’re long gone. when i look at you, i don’t feel love. you’re one of my good friends, one of my business partners, and the mother of my children. i feel respect, and a deeply rooted companionship. but i just don’t feel love. not even an inkling.”

her eyes narrow, “oh, so i was wrong. you’re not just in love. you’re in deep.”

“and i’m not going to stand here and play childish little games,” the team principal scoffs, “you’ve never acted this way before, and i am not sure why this girl is bothering you so badly when i’ve mentioned other women in the past.”

susie’s lower lip curls into a sneer, “did it ever occur to you that this bothers me so much because i know her? because we were friends at one point? she has a relationship with the academy, toto. i’ve met with her several times. we’ve spoken on a regular basis at one point. it just feels wrong.”

“well,” toto shrugs, “she’s going to be around for a while, susie. you may want to get used to seeing her face around here.”

“you’re fucking ridiculous,” susie snarls, raising a pointed finger at the team principal, “you’ve been a terrible father lately. you’ve been a horrid team principal. and the worst part, you’ve completely lost it. ten years ago, you would have never put your reputation on the line like this.”

the team principal remained silent as his former wife gathered her composure, cursing under her breath as she slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder, nearly stomping out of the office. the department surrounding his space probably eavesdropped on the entire heated exchange, but he didn’t care.

after monaco, it seemed like he had less and less fucks to give these days.

licking his lower lip, toto almost crashes down into his chair, collapsing as a groan rumbles in his chest.

so much for her taking that news well.

and if he happened to marry this girl?

oh god.

susie would probably have a conniption. fuck, she would probably ransack his entire office, defacing each and every one of his items. shit, she would even probably try to find a way to get him fired somehow.

well, he didn’t entirely blame her. it wasn’t like he kept her in the loop about his personal life or romantic relationships. although they had a pretty amicable relationship after their separation, the subject of new love was always like rubbing salt in a wound.

a wound that toto thought had healed. but apparently not. her explosive outburst in the office reaffirmed that.

there was a pang in his chest, squeezing in his heart as he hunched over the desk, burying his head in his arms.

oh, how he missed his golden girl.

god, wasn’t that fucked up.

his ex-wife of nearly a decade just basically professed she still harbored romantic feelings for him, and here he was, fretting as he yearned over his new love.

he needed to see her, oh so badly.

but how? although they were only approximately forty miles apart, it felt as if there were thousands upon thousands of miles between them. it was more than likely due to the nature of their current situation, but it left him aching for one singular thing.

her touch.

fuck, he craved her touch. the light drag of her nails against his skin as her fingertips traced along his toned back and shoulder blades. the wisp of her hair as she buried her head into his chest. the ghost of her mouth of his as their bodies intertwined together.

her presence alone was enough to send him spiraling.

it wasn’t like they were forced to go their separate ways between monaco and montreal. it was just suggested heavily by their pr teams that they do so, just so that williams and mercedes could launch their own personal investigations in regards to their relationship.

and for the time being, it appeared that things were all cleared. they had broken no rules. they didn’t breach any contracts. well, not entirely. mercedes, williams, and the fia did not need to know about the hours the two of you spent discussing your decision to join toto at mercedes.

besides, they did not need to know that you were naked, basking in the warmth of him, body tangled with his when you made that decision.

the official contract talks would have to be scheduled here soon.

after all, toto was running out of time.

he needed that second driver.

and he had you. it wasn’t entirely official quite yet, but he knew he had you.

time to start making things official then, huh?

not like he had to really, you already did that for him in monaco.

plucking his phone off his desk, the team principal starts to type out a lengthy text message, swallowing the lump in his throat as his thumb hovers over the send icon.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“what are you feeling for dinner over there, eeyore?”

alex’s voice snaps you out of your zombie-esque trance, your head swiveling as you glance over your shoulder, “i’ll just eat a little bit from whatever you make. i’m not really hungry.”

“oh come on,” alex rolls his eyes, yelling from across the kitchen, “you have to eat something! fuck our diets right now. what do you want? i’ll literally make anything for you. i am begging you to eat something.”

“it’s rare for alex to beg,” a giggle sounds from your right, light and airy, “it wouldn’t be a bad idea though, to eat a little something.”

exhaling, your gaze falls on lily as she sits beside you, perched in the plush chair, “i’m just not that hungry.”

“is it because of everything going on?” lily cocks her head, reaching for her wine glass, “i mean, i can’t imagine what it must be like to be you right now. you have to focus on your racing, your diet, keeping up on social media. yet, you also have to factor in your parents, your briefings, and your personal life. it must be a lot, considering what happened in monaco. by the way, what did your parents think? were they shocked? happy for you?”

“well,” your eyes drift over to the ledge of the balcony, taking in the way the sun was beginning its descent over the horizon, “they weren’t necessarily jumping for joy that i happened to fall for a fifty-two year old man. i think they’ll feel a lot better once they meet him. toto has this charm that has draws you in. i’m sure he would win them over in a heartbeat.”

“just like he did with you?” lily teases, leaning over to prod you playfully, “you know, you could have just told me and alex about him. we would’ve kept things private for you!”

“i know,” you bite the inside of your cheek, “but there was just so much risk involved with telling people about it. and i was scared of how you guys would have reacted, what you would have said, or if you would have told james or the fia or–”

“hey,” lily places a tender hand on your shoulder, “we don’t always choose who we fall in love with. we can choose how we act on those feelings, but that is just ultimately something for the universe to decide. you just happened to fall for a devastatingly handsome, recently divorced team principal.”

“i heard that!” alex calls, earning an eye roll from lily.

“i’m just trying to help her feel better! we both know that man is gorgeous!”

“i miss that gorgeous man,” you bring your knees to your chest, resting your chin between them, “i know we didn’t have to spend the brief break apart, but our media teams advised us to. you have no idea how badly i’m fighting the urge to just tell him to take the next flight to–”

yet, before you can finish your sentence, your phone vibrates on the table, notifying you that you had a new text message.

eagerly, you snatch it up, eyes scanning over the screen.

i miss you, beautiful girl. i’m not sure where you are, but i am taking the next flight to monaco as soon as i possibly can. i should be there by tonight. could we rendezvous at my place? if you need me to pay for your own ticket, i will. just let me know.

“what did he say?” lily peers over your shoulder.

“he’s coming to monaco,” your heart skips a beat as the realization washes over you, “wait, i’m already here! he’ll be here tonight! he wants me to meet him at his place.”

“well,” lily’s eyes glimmer, a bright smile enveloping her features, “looks like you need to eat, take a shower, and get ready missy! alex, will you start your shower for me?”

“i already heard the entire thing,” the driver tuts as he strolls onto the balcony, two plates in hand, “eat first, and then i’ll start a shower for you. from the sound of it, it seems like you’ll have a long night ahead, so you need to eat up before you get your guts rearranged.”

heat flourishes into your cheeks at his comment, “i – oh my god. you don’t know that for sure.”

“i think i do,” a smug paints his lips as he sets the plate down beside you, “there’s a reason why you’ve been so glowy and bubbly these last few weeks. i know you’re not smoking or doing any drugs, so there’s only one other thing i can think of.”

“i cannot stand you,” you mumble, sheer embarrassment taking hold.

“and that’s why you’re sitting down,” alex lets out a chuckle, “don’t worry buttercup, the teasing is only going to get worse from here on out.”

although you were more than grateful for alex allowing you to stay with him in monaco between the two races, it did have it pitfalls. and that was one of them. ever since you told him about toto, the teasing was relentless. it was never malicious, always lighthearted. how an older brother would pester his younger sister. which, you didn’t mind.

ever since the meeting with williams, your emotions had been nothing but a tumultuous torrent of anxiety, regret, and well, terror.

you were terrified that toto was going to choose preserving his career over your relationship. after all, you couldn’t blame him. he was one of mercedes’ spearheads, one of the most respected and dominant forces among the paddocks in his role as ceo and team principal.

he was a father as well, with three children whom he loved dearly. he was perceived as a family man, who often toted jack on his shoulders or brought him along with to races. additionally, you couldn’t shake the one thing that had been gnawing away at you, completely tearing you apart.

what did susie think of you? what did she think of your relationship? was she going to try and win toto back? did she still have feelings for him?

if they happened to meet in the time you were apart, what did she say? how did he respond? was he guilty somehow? was he going to admit to you that after seeing her, some emotions resurfaced?

god, your head was your own personal little hell.

and who knew if you were ever going to crawl out.

however, deep in your heart, you knew that you needed to see him. you needed to tell him the very thing that had been clawing at the depths of your very conscience.

you loved him.

and he needed to know.

and by god, you were determined to tell him.

well, it looked like tonight would be your perfect opportunity.

time to prepare for the worst.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“go on, take another hit.”

your fingers pinch the rolled paper, bringing it to your mouth. lashes fluttering, you inhale, the harshness of the contents flooding your lungs, burning your throat. once you were satisfied with the intake, you purse your lips, smoke billowing out.

“good girl,” he hums, fingers squeezing your thigh, “i missed you, you know that?”

the corners of your lips curl into a blissful grin, “and i missed you. so much. more than you’ll ever know.”

the lights of monaco glitter in the distance, casting a soft glow over the ocean as the waves lap the shore, foam encasing the gritty shore. hints of tangerine poke out from above the horizon, promising of the sun’s arrival. the scent of marijuana lingers in the air as toto taps the joint against the tray, his brows knit together with concentration.

above you, stars gleam, dotting the indigo hue that swathed the sky. all around, the mediterranean sea stretched for miles, the lights from various boats and yachts blinking, a gentle reminder that you were not alone.

although, you were in your own little world, utterly enamored and allured by the man beside you.

toto arrived to monaco around eleven-thirty p.m., not arriving to his luxurious property until about midnight. although it was well later than you expected, you were bright-eyed and bushy tailed, oh so ready to reunite with the team principal.

even though it was well past the hours he was normally up and about, he offered to take you on his yacht, where the two of you could just spend some time alone together.

of course, it was an offer you couldn’t refuse.

especially when he mentioned that he had picked up a “special treat for his special girl.”

that treat was a tin of five pre-rolled joints, neatly packed together. the papers encasing them were oh so cute, a light blue with little fluffy, white clouds. the tin itself was to die for, with snoopy as the red baron, a cartoon bubble to his right stating, “up, up, and away!”

his plug was definitely a woman, but you didn’t mind one bit. after all, with packaging that cute? how could you be upset? toto informed you that the tin was yours to keep, and he was more than happy to keep it filled for you. you just had to say the word, and he would contact his connection.

smoking was probably the last thing you should be doing between races, but it wasn’t like the fia was testing the drivers regularly. even though the testing was random, toto informed you that once he got the word of any potential tests, he would find a way to let you know.

you guys had already bent the rules enough, so why not bend them a little bit more?

“hey,” his is low, so gentle it was barely audible, “can i tell you something?”

he’s situated between your legs, spreading your thighs apart as you sit on the sundeck, the cool surface sending a shiver down your spine as it meets with heated skin.

“of course,” you murmur, a hand connecting with his cheek, “what is it?”

“well for one, i want to fuck the shit out of you right now,” his eyes are glossy, pupils dilated as they hone in on you, “but i need to tell you something first.”

there’s a slight stubble as it grazes the pad of your thumb, his plush lips parting ever so slightly, “what is it, toto?”

he’s lowered now, his mouth hovering above your pussy, the thin fabric of your shorts the only barrier between his lips and sweet, sweet, relief. the relief he had been desperate for these last few days, pacing back and forth in his office as he attempted to maintain his composure. to keep it together.

but here you were now, looking oh so breathtaking as the moonlight cascaded down, illuminating your skin with a beautiful silvery hue.

you were a goddess.

a truly divine being. the one he wanted to worship every single second, every single day for the rest of his life. the one who brought him to knees. the one who made him so utterly weak.

he was in far too deep now, deeply lost and consumed by you.

and god, he never wanted to go back.

even if he wanted tried, he knew he couldn’t.

and now, there was only you in this moment.

drawing him in, coaxing him to fall even deeper.

“i love you.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

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#toto wolff #toto wolff x reader #alkaline #alkaline: female driver! x toto wolff #formula one #formula 1 #formula one x reader #f1 x reader #toto wolff x y/n #toto wolff x you #williams racing #mercedes amg petronas #female driver au #formula one fanfiction #f1 fanfiction #alex albon #lily he

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minoulapin · 2 months ago

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Chapter Three: Weight of Watching - Between Giving & Taking - Y. JW

Pairing: Demon!Jungwon x Angel!Reader

Genre: Forbidden Love, Fantasy, Romance, Mystery

Wc: 6.8k

Synopsis: A love unspoken, a fate unwritten, An angel and demon, forever forbidden. Bound by the laws of heaven and hell, A story of longing they dare not tell. At the Academy of the Occult, angels and demons coexist under a fragile truce. But when a celestial heir is assassinated, war looms, secrets unravel, and forbidden desires ignite. In a world where their love is a crime, will they defy fate or be consumed by it?

A/N: Coucou!! Now bear with me guys, there is a love story involving Jungwon, I promise. But I’m way too much of an angst and slow-burn fan to make them all kissy-kissy this early. It’s going to take time and maybe a little suffering, but it will happen eventually. Just hoping the wait will be worth it 😮‍💨 - Joe

Tag list: open!! (Comment to be added) @stormy1408 @whateveridontcaresheesh @indigoez @riribelle @iifrui @m3l4nchol @bamguetismee @w1dyvnn

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | MASTERLIST | NEXT CHAPTER

Angels were not born. They were made.

Forged from celestial fire, shaped by divine hands, their existence was dictated by purpose. There was no uncertainty, no deviation, only order. Unlike demons, who were shaped from chaos, angels were given clarity, obedience woven into the very core of their being. They existed to serve, to uphold, to maintain balance as the Dominion commanded.

At least, that is what they were told.

The Dominion saw their creation as proof of their divine right to rule. Angels were the children of light, the enforcers of harmony. They had no need for questions. No need for doubt. There was no space for uncertainty in the celestial hierarchy.

But what happens to angels who begin to doubt?

The ones who question, who rebel, who seek their own truth, they are exiled.

Some fall to the Infernal Court. Some vanish without a trace. And some, the ones who refuse to choose a side, are erased from history altogether.

The Dominion does not speak of them. The records do not remember them. They are not mourned. It is said that to question is to fall. That those who wander too far from the path will never return. And yet, throughout history, there have always been whispers.

Angels who disappeared. Names that faded into nothing. Unfinished stories left to rot in forbidden archives.

Some say they were unmade.

Others say they fell.

But one thing remained certain:

Angels who strayed too far never came back.

Dust coats the worn leather of the book's cover, its ancient spine barely holding together as Y/n turns another fragile page. The dim candlelight flickers against the towering bookshelves surrounding her, casting long shadows in the farthest corner of the library. Here, beneath the weight of history, the air is thick with silence, watchful, suffocating, like a presence lingering just beyond her reach.

She closes the book, fingers tightening around the edges of the page. Her pulse is steady, but there's a quiet unease creeping beneath her skin.

She knew, deep down, that she shouldn't be reading this. But she couldn't stop. Because this wasn't just history. This was a warning. And she was doing exactly what angels were never meant to do.

She moves carefully, slipping between lessons and training sessions, her eyes skimming over the world around her, but never truly seeing it. If anyone asked, she was just another student walking the halls, fulfilling her duties. But her thoughts were elsewhere.

She was collecting details, threading together half-truths and inconsistencies, piecing together fragments of a story no one wanted told. The deeper she dug, the more the cracks in history widened. Records contradicted each other, timelines blurred. Events that should have been monumental were barely documented at all. Some things, things that should have been impossible, were missing entirely.

No one seemed to notice. Or at least, she thought no one noticed.

But then there was that feeling.

A pressure against the back of her neck, the subtle weight of something unseen, someone just out of sight. It followed her between classes, through empty corridors, into the dim corners of the library where dust clung to forgotten books. A ghost in the periphery, vanishing the second she turned to look.

She ignored it. Because if she started questioning everything, she'd never get anywhere. She kept her head down and continued digging, knowing she was running out of time before someone did notice.

But what she didn't realize, Someone already had.

Jungwon never meant to follow her.

Not at first.

The first time had been an accident. A late-night walk through the academy grounds, his mind heavy with thoughts. He had seen her then, shoulders hunched slightly forward, footsteps deliberate, lips pressed together in quiet determination. Alone, moving like she belonged in the shadows rather than among the celestial.

He should have left. But he didn't.

Instead, he had lingered, just long enough to see the way she hovered outside the restricted archives, fingers grazing over the locked door as if she could will it open. She had stayed there for a long moment, unmoving, and then disappeared down the hallway, silent as a ghost.

Jungwon told himself it was nothing.

But then it happened again.

And again.

The same pattern. The same movements. Late at night, early in the morning, whenever she thought no one was looking.

But he was looking. He didn't know when curiosity became habit. When watching became something he needed to do.

At first, it was logical. Practical. Someone had to keep an eye on her before she got herself killed. That was all.

But then there was that moment in the training hall. He had felt her presence before he had even seen her, the way the air shifted when she entered. It wasn't her magic, it wasn't anything celestial. It was her. Like a disturbance in an otherwise perfect system. A sharp edge where there should have been smoothness.

She was chaos. She didn't belong. And yet, she was still here. And that made him angry.

Jungwon never acted on impulse. Never lost control. He was methodical, disciplined, unwavering. He followed the rules. He enforced them. But she made him hesitate. She made him linger. She made him care. And he hated that. She was a problem, loud, stubborn, reckless. She didn't know when to stop. She didn't know how close she was to getting herself erased. And now, somehow, that was his problem. He should stop. He knows he should stop. But he doesn't.

He won't.

Because now, he's not just watching her. He's waiting. Waiting for the moment she pushes too far. And when she does. He'll be there. Not to save her. Not to stop her. But to see what happens next.

The celestial training grounds were vast, an open expanse of polished marble, ringed by towering columns and enchanted runes that pulsed faintly with energy. Overhead, golden light filtered through the arched ceilings, casting an almost holy glow over the sparring matches taking place.

But Y/n wasn't thinking about the beauty of it. She was focused on the fight.

She grinned. "You sure you can handle me, blondie?"

Jake circled her, his steps slow, calculated. His stance was relaxed, but she knew better than to let her guard down. He had that glint in his eye, the one that meant he was about to pull something unfair.

Jake smirked, tossing a dagger between his hands. "I don't know, Y/n. You look a little tense. Something on your mind?"

Yes.

But she wasn't about to tell him that. Instead, she rolled her eyes. "You talk too much."

"And yet you keep listening." She didn't respond, she was already moving.

Their classmates sparred around them, blades clashing, bursts of celestial energy cracking through the air. Some students fought with elegant, controlled precision, their magic weaving effortlessly into their movements. Others relied solely on their spells, letting power do the work.

Y/n?

Y/n fought with instinct.

She struck first, closing the distance between them in a heartbeat. No hesitation. Her footwork was sharp, her movements instinctive, honed by years of knowing that magic would never be her strong suit. She relied on speed. Precision. Strategy.

Jake dodged, barely. Then he grinned. "Too slow."

She didn't let the taunt get to her. Instead, she pivoted, feinting left before lunging right. It was a trick that worked on most people, except Jake wasn't most people.

He saw it coming. He always did.

Jake ducked under her strike, his arm shooting out. Y/n barely managed to twist out of reach before his dagger could land against her ribs. She gritted her teeth. Too close.

"Come on," Jake teased, twirling his blade lazily. "You're gonna have to do better than that."

They had sparred together for years. He knew how she moved, how she thought. And more importantly, He knew her weaknesses. She didn't answer. She just moved. She was fast. Faster than most. She darted behind him, slamming the heel of her boot against the back of his knee, forcing him off balance. He recovered quickly, twisting around to block her next attack, but she was already two steps ahead.

This time, she was winning. She could feel it.

Jake had no opening. She kept him moving, forcing him to dodge instead of counter. She struck again, faster, sharper, forcing him back.

One more move. One more second. And she had him.

Then—it happened. A pulse of energy surged through her veins, sharp and electric, like static crackling beneath her skin. It burned, cold and searing all at once, and for a split second, her vision blurred. Her magic flickered.

A brief lapse. A force she couldn't control, couldn't even predict. The air around her wavered, shifting unnaturally, just enough to break her momentum.

Jake saw it instantly. And he took full advantage.

Before Y/n could recover, he knocked her off her feet. The next thing she knew, she was flat on her back, staring up at the sky as Jake stood over her, victorious. Again.

She clenched her jaw, frustration boiling under her skin. "Damn it."

Jake grinned down at her. "You're getting predictable."

Y/n scowled. "You're getting annoying."

She took the hand he offered and let him pull her up with a huff. Except, this time, Jake didn't let go immediately. He was still holding her wrist, studying her.

"You hesitated," he said, quieter now.

She stiffened. "No, I didn't."

Jake tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowing. "Your magic—"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

He held her gaze for a beat longer before sighing. "Fine."

But she could tell by his expression, he wasn't convinced.

She ignored his smug look and let him pull her up. "I had you."

Jake laughed. "Almost had me."

Almost.

She scowled, brushing dust off her uniform.

"Again?" Jake asked.

Y/n rolled her shoulders, ignoring the sting of her pride. "Again."

She couldn't let this go.

Her magic had always been her greatest flaw. Uncontrolled. Volatile. Flickering at the worst moments.

Most angels were proud of their celestial gifts, wielding them with precision and ease. Magic was second nature to them, effortless. Even the weakest students had more control than she did.

Y/n?

She relied on something else.

Speed. Strategy. Reflexes.

She was fast, faster than most. Agile. Sharp. Dangerous in close combat. If magic wasn't involved, she could take down anyone in her class. But celestial society didn't value physical combat.

Magic was everything.

And she had never been enough.

Her grip tightened around the hilt of her blade.

She should be getting better. She should be learning control.

But recently?

Recently, it had been getting worse.

Her magic had always been difficult.

Now, it felt like it was fighting her.

And she had no idea why.

But she wanted to find out.

Sparring was just another reminder of that.

The training grounds were still buzzing with energy, students filtering out in groups, laughing, stretching, going over their matches.

She barely heard any of it.

Her frustration still clung to her skin, thick and suffocating, a mix of annoyance, exhaustion, and something deeper she didn't want to name. She should have won that match. She would have won if her magic hadn't betrayed her at the last second.

Beside her, Jake walked in easy silence, rolling his shoulders like he wasn't bothered by the fight at all. He didn't seem mad, just watchful, as if he were waiting for her to say something first.

She was just about to, when a voice cut through the air instead.

"Tough loss, angel."

She stopped walking.

Jake, already on edge, immediately stiffened beside her. His jaw ticked before he even turned around.

Because, of course, it was Heeseung.

He leaned against one of the stone pillars, looking far too amused for someone who had done absolutely nothing all day. His uniform was as careless as ever, tie undone, sleeves rolled up, like he hadn't even bothered with the formality of dressing properly. He looked effortlessly untouchable, and he knew it.

She exhaled sharply. Not now.

"What do you want, Heeseung?" she said, already tired.

He grinned. "Now, now. Is that any way to talk to a friend?"

Jake scoffed. "You're not her friend."

Heeseung chuckled, slow and deliberate, like he found Jake's irritation entertaining. "Maybe not. But that doesn't mean I'm not friendly."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Heeseung—"

He moved closer, the shift subtle but noticeable. "I was just admiring your technique."

Jake let out a low breath, rubbing the back of his neck like he was actively holding himself back from punching him.

Y/n, meanwhile, wasn't buying it. She arched an eyebrow. "Oh? Didn't realize you were watching."

Heeseung smirked. "You make it hard not to."

Jake's patience snapped. "Cut the bullshit, Heeseung."

Heeseung sighed dramatically. "You celestials are always so high-strung. No wonder you're all so miserable."

Then, his eyes flicked back to her.

And his amusement shifted into something else.

Something calculating.

"Or maybe..." Heeseung's voice dipped, soft, smooth, dangerous. "You're just more interesting when you're not playing by the rules."

She froze.

The words felt too sharp, too precise to be casual.

Jake noticed her hesitation instantly.

His head snapped toward her, eyes narrowing. "What the hell does that mean?"

Then, loud enough for Jake to hear— "You're doing something you shouldn't be doing, aren't you?"

Y/n quickly glared at Heeseung. "Shut up."

But it was too late.

Jake was already looking at her like he knew.

Like he knew something was off.

His voice was lower this time. Calm. Controlled.

Too controlled.

"Y/n."

She swallowed. "Jake—"

"You told me you wouldn't."

Her stomach twisted. She had told him that.

And she had lied.

"Heeseung is just messing with you," she tried, grasping for something, anything to get Jake off her case.

"Oh, am I?" Heeseung's smirk widened. "Funny. Because I don't remember lying."

Jake clenched his jaw. "Y/n."

She hated how his voice sounded just then.

Like he was disappointed.

Like he actually expected better from her.

She exhaled sharply, running a hand through her hair. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to—"

"Because you didn't want me to what?" Jake snapped. "Stop you? Keep you from getting yourself killed?"

She winced. "It's not like that."

"Then what is it like?"

She had no answer for that.

And Jake knew it.

For the first time in the conversation, Heeseung actually looked pleased.

He took a slow step forward, lowering his voice, leaning in toward her.

She stiffened as he dipped his head closer.

Then, right at her ear, he murmured, "I might know something that could help."

His breath was warm against her skin, a deliberate act of intrusion, making the space between them feel suffocating.

Jake immediately moved.

Before she could react, Jake was in front of her, stepping between them, his shoulders squared, his presence sharp and tense.

"Back. Off."

His voice wasn't loud.

But it was dangerous.

Heeseung laughed. "Relax, celestial. I was just saying—"

"Yeah, yeah," Jake snapped. "You were just saying something you shouldn't."

She didn't stop him.

Because she knew Jake was right.

Heeseung was bad news.

But she was still intrigued.

Because when Heeseung smirked and leaned back, he wasn't done.

"But if you ever want to know what I know..." He tapped his temple. "You know where to find me."

She clenched her jaw.

She didn't trust him.

But she couldn't ignore him either.

The moment Heeseung disappeared, Jake turned on her.

"Later," he said, voice tight. "Our dorm."

"You're telling me everything, " he said, quiet but firm.

She crossed her arms. "And if I'm busy?"

"You're not."

She narrowed her eyes.

She bristled. "Jake, I—"

"No." His voice was sharp. "Not this time."

Jake continued, tone leaving no room for argument. "This time, you don't get a choice."

She blinked, thrown off by how serious he looked.

Y/n hated that she couldn't argue. Because he was right.

She sighed. "Fine."

Jake didn't move. He just watched her for a moment, like he was debating whether to say something else.

Jake ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. "Think you can stay out of trouble for a few hours, or do I need to babysit you?"

She frowned. "What?"

"I'm leaving."

She stared at him. "You're, what?"

He let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, because if I stay, I'm just going to say something I regret."

Her stomach twisted. "Jake, don't be like that—"

"Like what?" He let out a sharp exhale, shaking his head. "Like someone who actually gives a shit? Because I do, Y/n. That's the problem."

She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

Jake's jaw clenched. He took a step back, shaking his head again.

"I'll see you at the dorm."

And then, he walked away.

Y/n stood there, still, silent, hating everything about this conversation.

Because for the first time in a long time, Jake was truly mad at her.

Jake was pissed.

And honestly? He had every right to be.

But that wasn't what annoyed her the most.

What annoyed her the most... was that she had no one to blame but herself.

The hallway was quiet.

Too quiet.

The usual hum of students moving between dorms had faded, leaving only the distant flicker of torchlight and the soft echo of Y/n's footsteps.

She moved quickly, her mind tangled in frustration.

Jake was pissed at her.

Heeseung had thrown her under the bus just for his own entertainment.

And now, she was alone with nothing but the weight of her own decisions pressing down on her.

She needed a moment. A breath. A second to clear her thoughts before heading back to the dorm where she'd have to deal with Jake's inevitable lecture.

But the universe, apparently, had other plans.

Y/n rounded the corner.

And collided into someone.

She stumbled back, already irritated. "For fuck's sake—"

Then she saw who it was.

Jungwon.

Her stomach twisted.

Not in fear.

Not in shock.

But in something else, something sharp and hot, something that made her fingers twitch with the sudden urge to push past him and not look back.

Because the way he was looking at her.

Like he had been waiting.

Like he knew something.

Y/n exhaled sharply, straightening. "Move."

Jungwon didn't.

His lips twitched, but it wasn't quite a smirk. It was something colder. "You're in a bad mood."

She scoffed. "You're observant. Congratulations."

Jungwon tilted his head slightly, gaze steady, arms still lazily tucked in his pockets, like blocking her path was nothing more than an afterthought.

Y/n took a step forward, fully intending to brush past him without another word.

But then,

"You should be more careful."

His voice was quiet. Controlled.

But it stopped her.

She frowned, slowly turning back.

"What?"

Jungwon blinked at her, slow and unreadable. "I said, you should be more careful."

Her irritation flared hotter.

"I can take care of myself," she snapped.

"If you actually cared about yourself, you wouldn't be involved with Heeseung."

Y/n froze.

Her irritation flared hotter.

"I'm not involved with Heeseung," she snapped.

Jungwon clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "Could've fooled me."

She scowled. "Oh, I'm sorry, was there a rule about who I can and can't talk to?"

Jungwon let out a slow breath, controlled but sharp. "There's a difference between talking to Heeseung and whatever it is you're doing."

Y/n narrowed her eyes. "And what exactly am I doing?"

"You tell me."

She exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through her hair. "Oh my god. If you're going to be a cryptic asshole, can you at least get to the point?"

Jungwon's expression didn't shift, but something in his gaze sharpened.

"What did Heeseung say to you?"

She stiffened.

It was so quick, so subtle, she almost convinced herself she hadn't reacted at all.

But Jungwon noticed.

He always noticed.

She forced a scoff. "Since when do you care?"

Jungwon's jaw tightened. "I don't."

Y/n arched an eyebrow. "Right. That's why you're stopping me in the middle of a hallway."

Jungwon exhaled sharply, tilting his head slightly like he was sizing her up. Then, finally—

"Heeseung plays games," he murmured, voice dropping lower. "You're not as good at them as you think."

Y/n's breath hitched before she could stop it.

She bristled, narrowing her eyes. "And you are?"

Jungwon didn't answer.

He just watched her, gaze steady, unreadable, long enough for the air between them to feel thick, suffocating.

Then, in one smooth movement, he stepped closer.

Too close.

She hated the way her breath caught.

"You should go." His voice was quiet, unreadable. "Dark places aren't meant for an angel like you."

She had to tilt her chin to meet his gaze. The space between them shrank, and for the first time, she felt the weight of his presence in a way she hadn't before. There was something unsettling about it, about him. He was sharp edges and quiet intensity, and right now, all of it was directed at her.

Her breath hitched before she could stop it.

Jungwon saw it.

His lips curled, amusement flickering across his face. "So you can get scared."

Y/n stiffened, irritation quickly replacing the fleeting hesitation she had let slip. "Go to hell," she muttered, voice tight.

Jungwon tilted his head slightly, his smirk deepening. "I'd love to go back home."

Y/n's jaw clenched. His arrogant, untouchable demeanor was grating, and she was beyond done with his cryptic bullshit.

She moved first, stepping past him deliberately, her shoulder brushing against his.

Jungwon didn't stop her.

Then she scoffed, shaking her head as she walked away. "You're an ass," she threw over her shoulder. "Leave me alone."

Jungwon didn't move.

He stayed rooted in place, jaw clenched, hands flexing at his sides.

He had been watching her for days, lurking in the edges of her world, waiting for an opportunity to pull her away from the mess she was running toward.

But somewhere along the way, she became the problem.

She was supposed to be another reckless idiot, another celestial too blind to see the bigger picture. Someone he could dismiss.

But Y/n wasn't that.

And it infuriated him.

She had a habit of getting under his skin, making him notice things he shouldn't. Like the way she never backed down, even when she should. The way she looked at him, not with the blind admiration or quiet fear he was used to, but with something challenging.

And worse, he liked it.

He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

He needed to stop.

He wouldn't.

Y/n sat cross-legged on her bed, a mess of papers, books, and hastily scribbled notes spread around her like fragments of a puzzle she couldn't quite piece together. Ink-stained fingertips tapped anxiously against the margins as she skimmed through her findings, if she could even call them that.

Because, in reality, she had nothing.

Jake sat at the edge of his own bed, watching her in silence. His arms were crossed, his jaw tight, not with anger anymore, but something quieter.

She sighed, rubbing at her temples. "This is useless."

Jake didn't answer right away. Then, after a beat, he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. "Walk me through it."

She hesitated. "Jake—"

"Just do it." His tone left no room for argument.

She exhaled sharply, sorting through the mess of parchment. "Okay. So, I started with the official records, but the further back I go, the more inconsistencies I find. Nothing outright missing, but... altered."

Jake frowned. "Altered how?"

"Dates that don't match up. Events that contradict other records. And then there's this" She flipped a particular page toward him. "Mentions of missing angels, but only in fragmented footnotes. Never by name. Just vague references to those who 'strayed from the path.'"

Jake's expression darkened as he studied the text. "And you think this connects to the heir's murder?"

She leaned back against her headboard, shaking her head. "That's just it, I don't know. But something isn't right. The way history's been rewritten... it's like someone doesn't want the full truth to be known."

Jake's grip on the paper tightened. "And you think digging through this mess is gonna get you anywhere?"

She glanced at him. "You don't believe me."

Jake sighed. "I believe something is off. But that's exactly why I don't like this, Y/n. You don't just stop when things get dangerous, you dig deeper."

His words hit harder than she expected.

Because he was right.

She flipped through the pages, her fingers moving with sharp, restless energy. Notes, records, scattered fragments of information that led nowhere. It felt like trying to hold water in cupped hands, every answer slipping through before she could grasp it.

When she finally exhaled, pushing one of the books aside, he leaned forward. "Okay," he said. "Tell me why this is worth driving yourself insane over."

She glanced at him. "I told you already. The heir's murder doesn't make sense."

Jake shook his head. "No, I mean, why do you care so much?"

Y/n hesitated.

For a second, she considered brushing him off. Giving him a half-truth, something easy.

But Jake wasn't asking to annoy her.

He was asking because he knew there was more.

She leaned back against the headboard, fingers drumming idly against the parchment in her lap. "Because it shouldn't have been possible."

Jake didn't respond, waiting for her to continue.

She frowned, looking down at the notes scattered around her. "I mean, think about it. You know how strict the celestial laws are. We're literally created with obedience woven into us. No angel has ever truly rebelled and gotten away with it, not without facing immediate consequence. So how the hell did someone break the laws, successfully? And not just any law, but the most sacred one?"

Jake's expression shifted slightly, his gaze sharpening.

Y/n exhaled, pushing a hand through her hair. "It's not just about the murder, Jake. If someone was able to break the laws so completely, then what does that mean? About the laws themselves? About us?" She hesitated before adding, quieter, "About me?"

Jake's grip on the paper tightened.

She let out a breath. "Maybe it's stupid. Maybe I just want an explanation for why I've never felt like I belong here." She shrugged, but it was forced. "Or maybe I just want proof that we're not as controlled as we think we are."

Jake studied her for a long moment.

He had known Y/n for years. Known that she never let things go once they got under her skin. But this wasn't just stubborn curiosity.

This was something deeper.

And for the first time, he understood why.

She wasn't searching for an answer about the heir.

She was searching for an answer about herself.

Silence.

Jake's jaw clenched.

Had seen the way she stood out, not because she tried to, but because she simply didn't fit. In a world that prided itself on order, on tradition, on sameness, Y/n was an anomaly.

She had always been different. Not in a way that made her weak. In a way that made her untamable.

Jake had never once thought of her as a mistake.

But he knew that she did.

She let out a sharp breath, dragging a hand down her face. "Shit. I'm being dramatic."

Jake rolled his eyes and stood, moving beside her to sit at the edge of her bed. "Yeah, well. You've earned it."

She let out a weak laugh.

Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair before finally pulling back. He didn't look happy about this. Not even a little.

But when he spoke, his voice was steady. Resigned.

"Alright," he muttered. "I'll let you keep digging."

She blinked. "You... will?"

"Yeah." He exhaled sharply. "But under conditions."

She groaned. "Of course there are conditions."

Jake shot her a look. "You're the one getting tangled up in some conspiracy shit, Y/n. You're lucky I don't chain you to this bed and call it a day."

She smirked. "Kinky."

Jake scowled. "I'm serious."

Y/n snorted but bit back a real response, settling for a nod instead. "Fine. Let's hear it."

Jake leveled her with a look before holding up a finger. "One. You tell me everything. No more sneaking around."

She rolled her eyes but nodded. "Fine."

"Two." Another finger. "The second you get a solid answer, you stop. No 'one more clue,' no excuses."

Y/n hesitated. "Define solid answer."

Jake gave her a deadpan stare. "Don't test me."

She sighed. "Alright, alright. Keep going."

Jake held up a third finger. "No recklessness. No going off alone. No doing stupid shit just because you're feeling bold."

She exhaled, dragging a hand down her face. "You're sucking all the fun out of this."

"Good," Jake said dryly. Then, more seriously, "Four. Be careful who you trust. Not everyone is your friend."

She didn't argue that one.

She didn't need to.

Jake hesitated for a moment before speaking again, his voice quieter this time. "And five."

His gaze locked onto hers, unwavering. "Under no circumstances do you get yourself killed and leave me in this boring-ass place without you."

Y/n's breath caught in her throat, just for a second.

Jake wasn't joking.

There was no teasing, no sarcasm, no hint of lightness in his tone. Just something sharp and heavy, something that made her stomach twist.

She scoffed, shaking her head. "You're impossible."

Jake exhaled through his nose, crossing his arms. "Says the one digging through centuries-old lies like she's going to find a neat little answer tucked between the pages."

She rolled her eyes, but she couldn't argue with him.

He was right.

She snorted, but the amusement faded quickly. This was serious.

He was serious.

She exhaled, rolling her shoulders like she could shake off the weight pressing on her. "I'll be careful."

Jake didn't look convinced. "You better."

Jake studied her for a moment, he held her gaze for another long second before sighing. Then, without another word, he leaned over and flicked her forehead.

She flinched. "Ow—what the fuck?"

Jake smirked. "For being an idiot."

She scowled. "You're such an ass."

Jake just shrugged, standing up and stretching like this entire conversation hadn't just aged him ten years. "Yeah, well. Someone has to keep you from getting yourself killed."

She rolled her eyes, but there was something lighter in her chest now, something less suffocating. She watched as Jake grabbed a book from his own desk, tossing it onto his bed before turning back toward her.

He nodded toward her mess of notes. "If you're gonna keep obsessing, at least do it quietly." She smirked, leaning back against her pillows. "No promises."

Jake muttered something under his breath, something suspiciously close to pain in my ass, before finally collapsing onto his own bed with a groan.

And just like that, the tension eased. She still didn't have answers. But at least, for now, she had this.

Y/n's dreams are not dreams.

They are something else.

Something worse.

A sensation, sharp and intrusive, coils around her mind like a whisper she can't quite hear. Cold fingers of static trace down her spine, slipping beneath her skin, clawing at her ribs, dragging her toward something she doesn't understand. The darkness behind her eyelids shifts, too heavy, too real, curling at the edges like ink spreading through water. Shapes flicker in the void, just out of reach, fragmented whispers scraping against the inside of her skull.

A voice, no, not a voice. A pull. It isn't gentle. It isn't kind. It demands.

She jolts awake with a sharp inhale, chest rising and falling in uneven breaths. Her skin prickles, every nerve on edge, charged with something she can't name.

Her room is dark, but something is wrong. The sensation doesn't fade. It lingers, pressing down against her like a weight, like a summons, like something clawing at the edge of her consciousness, refusing to let go. Her pulse pounds against her ribs. She glances at Jake. He's still asleep, curled on his side, breathing steady. Peaceful. Y/n swallows hard. She should wake him. She should. But she doesn't. Because the pull is still there, electric beneath her skin, humming through her veins, dragging her toward something beyond this room, beyond reason.

Y/n swings her legs over the edge of the bed. And she follows it.

The Academy is different at night. She had never noticed it before, not like this. The air is thick, charged with something she can't name. The grand hallways, so rigid and pristine under daylight, stretch endlessly into the dark, their towering stone pillars twisting into shadows.

Everything is too quiet.

Not just because the students are asleep, but because the Academy itself feels different. Like it's holding its breath. Like it knows.

Y/n moves soundlessly, her pulse steady, her breath shallow. She doesn't know why she's here, only that she has to be. The pull is stronger now. A silent, unrelenting pressure behind her ribs, something winding around her lungs, her spine, tugging at her veins like invisible strings.

She turns a corner, And stops. At the end of the hall, framed by two towering columns, is a door. A door she has never seen before. That shouldn't be possible. She knows this school. She's spent years memorizing its corridors, walking these halls, mapping every shortcut and hidden corner.

But this, This is wrong. Or maybe... Maybe it was always here. Waiting. The pull pulses, sharper now, pressing against her temples like a heartbeat inside her skull.

She steps closer. Her fingers twitch at her sides. She shouldn't be here. But she has to know. Y/n reaches for the handle—

"You shouldn't be here."

The voice slices through the silence like a blade. She freezes. A sharp chill crawls down her spine as she whirls around, Professor Aldric stands a few feet away.

He isn't angry. But his eyes are steady, sharp, cutting through the darkness like he sees something she doesn't.

She forces herself to breathe. Her pulse is steady. She smooths her expression.

"Professor."

Aldric doesn't move. His gaze flickers to the door behind her before settling back on her. The silence stretches. "You felt it, didn't you?"

She stiffens.

Aldric's voice is quieter this time, almost contemplative. He studies her, his head tilting slightly, like she is a puzzle he is trying to solve.

She exhales slowly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Aldric hums, but the sound is unreadable.

Y/n's fingers curl at her sides. She tilts her chin up, feigning confidence. "I was just walking."

Aldric doesn't blink. "And yet you ended up here."

She doesn't answer. The moment stretches between them, heavy, suffocating.

"Curiosity is dangerous in this Academy," Aldric murmurs.

She exhales sharply. "So I've been told."

Aldric's expression doesn't change, but something flickers behind his gaze, something old, something knowing.

A pause. Then— "I had a student like you once."

She stills.

Aldric glances at the door again. His posture is still, unnervingly calm, but the weight of his words settles deep into her bones.

"Restless," he continues. "Always looking for something they weren't meant to find."

A slow, creeping unease curls inside her. She swallows. "What happened to them?"

Aldric's silence is an answer. Then, finally "They stopped looking." Y/n's stomach twists.

Aldric exhales, like he has already said too much. "Go back to your dorm, Y/n."

She clenches her jaw. "Why?"

The air shifts. For the first time, Aldric's voice is quiet. Steady.

"Because the Academy isn't as safe as it used to be."

Something in she stills. Not because of what he said. But because of how he said it. Not a warning. A fact. The weight of it lingers between them. Aldric studies her for another moment, then steps back, inclining his head slightly.

"Good night."

Y/n hesitates for half a second, but there's nothing left to say. Nothing he will say. She exhales sharply, turns on her heel, and walks away. Her footsteps echo against the stone, steady but clipped. She doesn't stop. Doesn't glance back. She forces herself forward, past the columns, past the shadows, ignoring the way the air still feels too heavy around her. She won't get answers here. Not tonight. She disappears down the hallway, her silhouette swallowed by the dim torchlight.

Aldric didn't move. His gaze remained fixed on the empty space beside him, on the shadows pooled along the farthest corner of the hall. And when she is finally out of reach, Aldric exhales.

without turning, without raising his voice, he speaks into the darkness.

"You too, Jungwon."

The shadows shift. A figure steps forward. Jungwon stepped forward, expression unreadable, hands tucked casually into his pockets like he hadn't just been standing there, lurking. Watching.

Y/n was already gone. But the weight of her presence still clung to the air, thick and lingering. Jungwon met Aldric's gaze without hesitation. "I was bored."

Aldric merely observed him, his face impassive. "Strange," he mused. "I didn't take you for someone who enjoyed standing in the dark, listening to things that aren't meant for you."

Jungwon's expression remained unreadable. "Isn't that what you do?"

Aldric hummed, unimpressed. "I listen when necessary. The difference is, I don't hover."

The silence between them stretched, heavy and deliberate. Jungwon should leave. He should turn and walk away like none of this had ever happened. Like he hadn't been standing there, watching Y/n, following her every move.

But he didn't. Instead, he spoke.

"She's going to get herself killed."

Aldric didn't react. No flicker of surprise. No concern. Instead, he sighed, a quiet, almost thoughtful sound. "Perhaps," he admitted. "This is often the fate of those who ask the wrong questions. But that depends entirely on how much she's willing to know."

Jungwon's fingers curled into fists. That answer irritated him more than it should have. For a moment, his thoughts tangled into something sharp, something reckless.

But then he exhaled slowly, forcing himself to step back, to distance himself from whatever this was. He wasn't here to discuss her. He didn't care what Aldric chose to do about her. And yet, his voice came out lower, rougher than before.

"She's reckless."

Aldric merely glanced at him. "And yet, you're the one standing here."

Jungwon's expression didn't change, but something inside him twisted.

Aldric wasn't wrong. Y/n was the reckless one. Y/n was the one stepping into dangerous territory. But the problem wasn't just her. It was him, too. Because while he wasn't bound by celestial law, she was. He was the one trailing after her like a fool. And if anyone found out how often he had been watching her, how often he had been following her, Y/n would be the one to suffer for it. Not him.

She was the one bound by celestial law, the one whose loyalty would be questioned if the wrong people started noticing their paths crossing too often. Celestial protocol may have been new, but its purpose was clear. The law had been put in place to prevent another war from breaking out between angels and demons. There were rules. Boundaries. Lines that weren't meant to be crossed. And yet, he kept crossing them.

Jungwon exhaled sharply, fingers curling at his sides.

It wasn't that he cared if she got caught.

It wasn't that he cared if she was reckless.

So why the hell was he still here?

Jungwon scoffed, low and humorless. "Celestial laws are bullshit."

Aldric raised a brow, but he didn't argue. "They are absolute."

Jungwon huffed, shaking his head. "Nothing is absolute."

Aldric's eyes darkened slightly. "Then I suggest you be careful where your thoughts lead you, Jungwon."

Jungwon didn't reply. His thoughts had already led him too far.

Aldric studied him for another moment before finally stepping back, turning away. He disappeared down the corridor, robes whispering against the stone.

Jungwon didn't move. Y/n was reckless. Y/n was dangerous. But he was the one who kept looking for her. He was the one who couldn't seem to let it go. Jungwon exhaled sharply, forcing his fingers to unclench.

He should stop.

He would stop.

And yet,

Jungwon turned sharply on his heel, heading down the opposite hallway. He told himself he wasn't following her.

But deep down, he already knew,

He would never be far.

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prying-pandora666 · 2 years ago

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Azula And The Tides: The Most Misread Scene in ATLA

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before:

“The tides scene shows how irrational and spoiled Azula is! She got lucky! She endangered her whole crew for her pride!”

Or any similar variation.

The only problem is it’s not even remotely close to true. Let’s talk about that.

Here is the scene in question for reference:

youtube

Seems pretty straightforward, right? I mean, the Captain warned Azula about the tides and she put her ego before reason and made the crew take a huge risk. Horrible leadership and narcissism on her part, right?

Except for one little detail.

Azula was right.

Remember in “The Storm” when Zuko demands his ship chase after the Avatar and his crew warns him that it’s a fool’s errand because they’ll surely perish in the storm? Zuko stubbornly insists his goals are more important than anyone else’s lives, including his Uncle, and demands they drive recklessly into the storm. Sure enough, the crew nearly perishes in the storm, just as predicted, and Zuko is humbled enough to even rescue his Lieutenant that he disrespected earlier in the episode.

I bring this up so we understand how ATLA sets up and then demonstrates its narrative cause and effect. It’s rather straightforward as, after all, this is being written to be inteligible to children.

So what happens with Azula’s ship when she demands they dock right away despite her Captain’s warnings?

The ship docks without incident or injury.

In fact, they dock stealthily enough that neither Zuko nor Iroh see Azula coming and she’s able to surprise them. How would this be possible if the Captain had been correct in his assessment and Azula had just been acting out of ego?

I’ve seen some people argue that Azula just got lucky, like a drunk person driving home in a car. Not that I expect the average person to have extensive knowledge about docking a ship, but it demonstrates a severe gap in knowledge of the subject matter. When it comes to the tides you cannot half-ass it. Either the tides are in or they’re not. Either they’re high enough or they’re not.

And if they’re not, what happens? The rocks you can’t see beneath the waves will shred your ship apart and you will get stuck or outright sink. Best case scenario, if by an act of divine intervention you avoided all the rocks, you’re still screwed because your ship is going to get beached and tip over. Especially with a ship of that size!

You cannot squeak by here. Even with all of our tech and modern day ships, if you don’t respect the tides, you’re going to have a bad time. There is no avoiding this.

It boggles my mind why people assume Azula is the one in the wrong here and not the Captain who is later shown to be so incompetent that he spoils the mission. He was talking down to her and she rightfully put in his place. Cold and ruthless as her method may have been, she was making it clear that she is not to be talked down to or to have her authority questioned. An important skill for a young leader. Look at the comparison with Zuko who couldn’t wrangle his men. They were about to mutiny and would’ve if Iroh hadn’t intervened! Azula has no Iroh to fall back on. She has to manage on her own. And she does! In this same episode we are shown that Azula is a perfectionist who can’t tolerate a single hair out of place. But somehow we are supposed to believe she is also reckless and incompetent? I don’t think so.

We also know that Azula canonically attended the Royal Fire Academy for girls. This wasn’t some preppy finishing school, it was an intense military academy with survival training so deadly that Rangi described having to eat worse than rats to make it out alive. We know Azula excelled in school. Why wouldn’t she know something as basic as how to read the tides? That’s seafaring 101.

Combine that with the fact that all their best naval officers probably perished at the North Pole and it’s easy to glean that this Captain isn’t exactly their A-Team.

So what IS the point of this scene if not to show Azula being irrational, egotistical, or incompetent?

Remember our comparisons to Zuko? The point of this scene is to show how much better and scarier of a leader Azula is. It’s a simple way to convey to the audience that unlike Zuko, Azula *can* and *does* command like a true military leader. She is therefor a more frightening and dangerous opponent for our heroes to face than the already dangerous Prince they’ve been battling since the previous season.

I don’t think this misinterpretation would’ve ever spread so far if some fans weren’t dead set on trying to tear down Azula for the simple crime of being better at things than fan-favorite Zuko.

And I say this as someone who adores Zuko.

#avatar the last airbender #Atla #avatar #azula #zuko #fire sibs #Youtube #Fandom flanderization

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blasphemousclaw · 7 months ago

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Do you think The Moons in Elden Ring only communicate with certain people?

It could explain how Count Ymir sees the Moon as just a Celestial Body and not a divine figure.

hmm that’s a good question; it does seem like Rennala, Rellana, and Ranni have a special affinity with the moon… I’m not sure that this is because the moon only communicates with them though, because I don’t believe the moon is a god, at least not in the same sense that the goddess of rot or the Formless Mother are gods?

Plenty of people draw power from the moon, including the Carian knights and preceptors (not just the royals), the sorcerers of the Lazuli Conspectus, the Nox, and perhaps Ranni’s mentor the Snow Witch… here the moon is used as a source of magic in the field of glintstone sorcery. There is a reason why glintstone sorceries and incantations are separate disciplines: sorceries are based on intelligence (study, research, self-discovery), and incantations are based on faith (belief in a higher power or force of nature). Lunar sorcery does not draw from faith like Bloodflame incantations or rot incantations do, which in my mind classifies it as a different sort of power than divine communion.

The way the moon is described in relation to Ranni, Rennala, and Rellana is that they “met” or “encountered” it:

“The young astrologer gazed at the night sky as she walked. She had always chased the stars every step of her journey. Then she met the full moon — and, in time, the astrologer became a queen.”

“This moon was encountered by a young Ranni, led by the hand of her mother, Rennala. What she beheld was cold, dark and veiled in occult mystery.”

“Queen Rennala encountered this enchanting moon when she was young, and later, it would bewitch the academy.”

“In her childhood, she and her elder sister Rennala met these moons. Overlapping, as though nestled against one another.”

But I’ve never interpreted this as a god selecting champions to enact its will, but more like a fateful discovery of a source of great power? Rennala and Rellana were astrologers, who read fate within the stars, when they encountered their moons… it seems to me that there’s an element of fate or destiny involved in connecting with the moon, but not necessarily personified divinity? I bet the Carian royals are like uniquely fated individuals… like how Sellen says “The stars alter the fate of the Carian royal family.” Also, Rennala’s description of chasing the stars and one day meeting the moon, and Ranni’s description of encountering the dark moon led by her mother’s hand also suggests to me a proactive arc of personal discovery and study rather than a god who chooses a person and communicates their divine will to them (such as the Formless Mother).

I think the reason why Count Ymir “abandoned his allegiance to the moon” because "It was merely the closest of the celestial bodies” is a combination of the fact that he doesn’t have this seemingly fated connection to the moon, and the fact that his interests go much further than the moon… he’s interested in the origins of life itself:

“I, too, am a glintstone sorcerer. We study the stars, and examine the life therein. Are you familiar with our findings? Long ago, we began as stardust, born of a great rupture far across the skies. We, too, are children of the Greater Will. Is that not divine? Is that not sublime? ...and yet, none can fathom its implications, its utter brilliance!”

and so is Sellen, who studies the primeval current:

“Our powers draw upon the powers embedded in glintstone, but what is the nature of such power? Glintstone is the amber of the cosmos, golden amber contains the remnants of ancient life and houses its vitality, while Glintstone contains residual life. And thus, the vitality of the stars. It should not be forgotten that glintstone sorcery is the study of the stars and the life therein.”

So I can understand why these characters would spurn the study of the moon as a trivial topic, instead exploring topics that get to the very heart of the nature of life and where we come from.

idk if I actually answered your question… I guess in a way, I believe the moon only communicates with certain people… but I think it’s more like, Rennala and Rellana, after tirelessly pursuing the knowledge of the stars, met the moon in a fated encounter and gained the ability to understand and tap into its power (and passed this on to Ranni), not that the moon is a sentient being that chooses champions to enact its will. Whether this still counts as being a god or being divine is up to personal interpretation I think, but the moon is at the very least a totally different sort of power than the confirmed outer gods we know of, and Ranni has a totally different sort of relationship to the moon than Mohg has to the Formless Mother.

#elden ring #ranni #rennala #rellana #count ymir #like i dont believe ranni killing her two fingers and creating an age of stars is just her switching out one god for another #lunar magic is SORCERY… it’s based on intelligence! not faith! it is a field of study and personal discovery!#the autonomy ranni craves is built into this concept of personal discovery!#shes not just blindly taking orders from another god lol #asks

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misscherrys-world · 6 months ago

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Fuck or Treat!

༒Starring༒: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Franken! Kyle Spencer, James Patrick March and Kai Anderson.

Obv I was inspired by this pic I found hilarious

Happy Witch’s New Year!

✣Warnings✣: NSFW.

Sorry if it sucks but I just wanted to write their reactions and I tried to be as canon as I can be. Enjoy!

Tate Langdon

Tate never left the house like other ghosts until he met Violet. But now she doesn’t talk to him he doesn’t go out and stays around her.

So one day when you moved in the house you decorated the front porch with pumpkins and he saw the carving.

It was hard to tell if it’s “fuck” or “trick* so he asks you.

You replied nonchalantly: Trick, you silly.

He looks at you and said: I’d prefer the fuck one.

“It’s so inappropriate for the children, I like it!”

So you both worked on the decorations together hopefully your parents won’t notice, at least not now.

Kit Walker

Would definitely choose to “fuck” without further explanation.

He would bend you on the table and thrusts deeply and passionately.

After you both finished he would ask: “Is it just for me or you’ll put it on the front porch?”

“It says trick, Kit.”

He looks at it in confusion “No it doesn- ohhh I see it my bad my bad”

“That was good actually keep doing this and I’ll give you dozens of kids”

Franken! Kyle Spencer

“TREAT” he would yell for treats.

I would laugh with Zoe for his enthusiasm.

Zoe: “Okay, Kyle… Read this.”

Kyle after a while of trying to make a word he says: “F-Fuck or.. Treat”

“Omg, Kyle no! It’s Trick or Treat” you laugh so hard because you did it on purpose to trick people in the Academy.

He pouts a little then he hugs you and Zoe: “Fuck”

I chuckled because I knew what he wanted from his hot witchy girlfriends.

Zoe closed the door and we 3 started to get undressed.

James Patrick March

James: “What in the-? Did they change or traditional Trick or Treat?”

“No James what do you mean? It says Trick or Treat.”

James: “I must say, dearest you’re not quite the talented one to carve pumpkins. I almost read it something completely different.”

“Did you read it “fuck”? Yeah I did it on purpose”

He looks at you intrigued: “That sounds obscene! I must say I myself thought of couple things we can do for this occasion.”

“Me too” you said playfully.

He presses a kiss to your lips first softly then it grows intense.

Kai Anderson

He huffs as he went down stairs, he didn’t approve of the Halloween decorations but you insisted.

As he enters the kitchen he saw the pumpkin.

He looks confused at first but then he catches on it quickly. He had quite the idea of this whole Trick and Treat concept.

He walks towards you in the living room and says: “New rule for the Halloween. It’s Fuck or Treat not Trick and Treat. And you’re allowed to do it with me. And only me, your divine ruler.”

You blink few times before you say: “Cool, you’re a good fuck after all.”

His ego flares up.

“Also that pumpkin.. I did it on purpose.”

Kai: “I could tell you horny slut.”

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dilly-dahlia · 9 days ago

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I am absolutely loving all the lore for your rewrite so far, I am absolutely eating this up! But I just had to ask:

What about Dante?

You've done analysis on how you are rewriting Laurance and Garroth, that's 2/3 of the main guards. But I haven't seen anything about Dante (or most other characters for that matter but I'm speaking PD guards here (also I have a current Dante hyperfixation so the boyo is corrupting my brain))

If you don't have anything right now then that's fine, I was just curious about our beloved blue haired guard

listen. first of all shhh about the fact that i haven’t analyzed/rewritten a lot of characters because let me tell you. originally i had a hierarchy of the order i was gonna do these characters in and it looked something like this

and then it started getting confusing when I got to Gene and Sasha so I did in fact give up with the hierarchy and started freeballing. but that’s irrelevant ANYWAYS-

DANTE ACCARDI!! that’s the last name I gave them. i don’t have a lot for him yet tbh :( but here’s what I have so far!!

so he’s like, seven years younger than Gene (his mom had Gene young, and soon after having Gene his father died in this timeline so Dante is only Gene’s half-brother). and when Dante was younger (I mean like 4/5 young) he and Gene were super duper close. like Gene loved that kid with all his heart and actually ended up wanting to become a guard to protect the little guy

and another reason Gene wanted to protect Dante initially is because most of the population in Borobos is a magicks user or witch or warlock or mage or something divine. everyone has some form of something and a very very small percentage don’t. Dante is part of that small percentage, and because of that he got bullied A LOT. Gene would help by erasing/changing Dante’s memory of it, but obviously when he went to the guard academy he couldn’t do that

not to say that Dante’s parents were neglectful but uh… they did focus a little more on Gene because not only did he actually possess magic but he was a brilliant fighter (like he was head guard of Borobos after graduating the academy in no time). I feel like there’s a specific phrase or word for kids in Dante’s position but the only thing coming to mind is glass child but I know that’s not it anyways

so because Dante was sort of like unintentionally pushed to the side and bullied, he spent a lot of time by himself once Gene had gone off to the guard academy (in my rewrite children typically go just before they turn 13 and stay until they graduate at 18/19. they will come home maybe once a year. there are a few cases in which teenagers (14/15) are accepted, and their graduation is based on how they do) and to sort of occupy his time and distract from the loneliness, Dante poured his entire self into school and reading and became very book smart in an attempt to garner his parents attention

(side note but his parents are the married couple that should have been divorced.)

at some point Dante started learning a couple tricks to stun anyone that tried to jump him, so he was always covered in bruises. and when Gene came back, Dante had that extra layer of protection again. Dante was like 10 when his brother came back

I’ve kept the backstory regarding their falling out mostly the same from what I remember (I haven’t reached that part in my rewatch quite yet), but I did change a couple things

so let’s talk about Gene for a second. Gene is very headstrong and passionate and very one track mind. like once he gets an idea in his head, he does whatever it takes to get what he wants. (he’s also like, misogynistic but that has nothing to do with the incident with girl he fell in love with, noooo (sarcastic)) so like at first it was protecting his little brother, and then he put his heart and soul into the guard academy and becoming head guard of Borobos, which happened when he was about to turn 20 (he IS the youngest head guard in recorded history). so when he came back, Gene put his entire heart and soul into dedicating himself to his village, and Dante looked up to that, and decided he wanted to become a guard as well

now, remember when I said Gene does whatever it takes to get what he wants? so basically when he falls in love with the lord’s daughter, he starts telling Dante all about it. like she could literally just pass by them in the plaza and Gene goes

“That’s my future wife. Perfect as always. Irene, she’ll be the perfect mother and wife, don’t you think, Dante?”

and like Dante’s always been weirded out by these comments because like… it’s weird to him, especially with the possessive tone Gene takes on when talking about her. think like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast

and like two years go by, Dante is 12 and about to enroll into the guard academy, and then it all goes to shit

so I haven’t really touched the stuff where Gene went to change the girl’s memory and i don’t really plan to? because I kind of want Dante to like idolize his brother and then Gene goes and does that and Dante’s world comes like crashing down

but anyways Gene dies :) Dante is devastated for a little bit because Gene was actually like, one of the only people that ever really paid attention to him so now Dante feels like he’s ALONE alone, but it’s okay. because Dante’s going to go to the guard academy soon and then he’ll be a fantastic guard like his brother right?

WRONG! basically what happens is Gene comes back. same shit happens. Gene erases and changes everyone’s memory of Dante, and Dante is forced to run off to his uncle. he spends longer in the woods than he intended because he forgot the way there, and he finds himself in a different village where he catches a ride in a caravan to his uncle’s village (when he’s older, Dante realizes how lucky he was to have come across good people)

and remember how he was about to go to the guard academy? yeah, he doesn’t end up going. he’s so distraught over everything he goes into a dark pit of depression for a while, and it isn’t until he has a nightmare about Gene that he decides to enroll again

Dante is a very rare case for the guard academy. he started attending when he was almost sixteen years old and graduated on the Jury List only three years later just before he turned nineteen. initially, the academy was very hesitant to accept him because he was older than most new students, but also because he had no record of a life before he was thirteen. so they wondered if this kid just appeared out of thin air? what’s his deal?

but they decided to take him in. Dante already knew a couple combat techniques because Gene had taught him, and that definitely helped boost him higher in the program. not only that, but Dante also just had incredible intelligence for the written exams and passed nearly all of them with a perfect score. he was a quick learner and able to easily and quickly adapt to the changes around him, and soon enough Dante was the quickest graduate the academy had ever seen

(another side note, but Dante always had the ability to be stronger than Laurance and Garroth before the 15 year skip, the only thing holding him back was inexperience. when he shows up in my rewrite, Dante is 20 whereas Garroth is almost 29 and Laurance is 28, so they both have nearly a decade of experience over him. not to mention they both actually followed the normal schedule for guard academy graduates)

that’s all I have for his backstory right now. i’m also still coming up with his hairstyles throughout the series (hair symbolism is a very big part of my rewrite in letting the reader know where the characters are at mentally) but I do have a couple just stray headcanons and things i’m changing so here they are:

Dante develops a fear of passing time after Aphmau and them disappear into the Irene dimension. he’s scared that he’ll die before knowing what happened to Aphmau, who he came to consider a sister, and everyone else that went with her. he stayed in Phoenix Drop all those years but it was a very big debate with himself about whether or not he should leave just so he can let go. and after Aphmau comes back, Dante still has a fear of time and hates being late to anything—he’s always early

he and Nicole actually did get married. the two made a short trip to Meteli and got married under Cadenza’s ministry (many lords, head guards, and second in commands hold the power to officiate marriage, especially if the village is small). they were only married for a short time, though, before Nicole received notice of her father’s death. it was after she found out that she had to go back to Scaleswind to inherit the city, but Dante just couldn’t go. the two never officially divorced, but they don’t consider themselves to be married after Nicole leaves

okay thats fr all i got now i hope you enjoy this and eat it up as much as you did my analyses of Garroth and Laurance 🫡

and if y’all want more on specific characters just drop an ask i will gladly answer because it forces me to think about it

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 2 years ago

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The triplets kittens snuck in to NRC to see their big sister figure Crewle daughter, and seeing her they all are happy and admire her alot, and she adore them as if they are their siblings

What's more that childhood friends knows if you're close when they called you big brother

Vil, Leona, Azul, Jade, Floyd, and Deuce be when the kitties calling them big brother and quietly said " can you marry big sis (yn)?? We think you'll be a good mate/husband for them "

The Kittens | Crewel Daughter Reader

The kittens would rather infiltrate the princess academy because that is where you usually are

And when they do they’re pampered beyond compare

So its entirely different when they end up in NRC

Now the thing with NRC is that the school is on a private island

That takes a lot to travel to anyway

So the only way they’ll end up there is through nefarious means

Beating up and apprehending their kidnapper

They don’t know what to do but they recognize their beloved godfather

“Ah my little kittens, what are you doing here?”

Appalled by their journey

he takes good care of them and eventually the beast children meet your obsessive suitors:

Vil Schoenheit

“So Miwster Vil?”

“Yes, young Marie?”

“Awr you taken by anyone?”

“You mean…romantically? Well, you know me and (Y/n) have been together since the beginning.”

“Ooooh so you’ll marry godsiwster one day?”

“Hehehe, yes.”

He knows he’s destined to be with you

He’s just happy your godsiblings can recognize him as your lover already

He treats them well despite Toulese and Berlioz puffing their chests at him

Whipping children into beautiful shape is his expertise

Naturally, when Duchess is finally able to pick them up she recognizes him

“Oh thank you, Vil! Their hair! And their dress! They look divine! But even in your youth, you were such a proper gentleman!”

“Why thank you, Duchess. Your praise is an honor.”

He expects this will carry over when Duchess and Marie talk next

Leona Kingscholar

“Hey! Big Bwother!”

“Ugh what?!”

“Are you gonna marry (Y/n)!?!?”

“What?”

“Big sis! Are you gonna be her mate fwor life?”

“...Yeah, if anyone tells you different bite them for me.”

“Yes th-thwir!”

Toulouse the little orange cat boy is set on following the strong lion around

Similar to Cheka in that he endlessly follows Leona around

But his energy is more like Jack in that he admires the dorm leader’s strength and coolness

He doesn’t immediately push him away because he’s so familiar with you

He knows this kid will be singing his praises to you when he finally meets back up with you

“Y-your highness!? I apologize for any trouble my son might have given you!”

“It’s fine. The little tiger is definitely going places.”

“I’m so grateful! Thank you, your highness.”

Yeah, he better deliver

Maybe putting the wall of you visiting if the little tike ever wants to see him again

Azul Ashengrotto

“You’re vewy smart big browther!”

“Why thank you!”

“Will you marry big sis (Y/n)?”

“E-excuse me?”

Berlioz takes to his side right away

Proudly wearing his tie as he cutely escorts guests around

His glasses fog up in heat as he imagines what your kid would be like

Not only will this kid give him rapor with you

The Duchess is a renowned noble in the Shaftlands

A wonderful investor and corroborator for any romantic ventures

“It was an honor tending to your child, he was a pleasure.”

“Well, that certainly puts me at ease. You’re such a bright young man it's hard to believe your so young. Your maturity reminds me of (Y/n) do you know her.”

“Oh I do. More than you’d believe”

Jade Leech

“Well here you are little lady.”

“Why thank you Jade! You truly are quite the gentleman. Big Sis (Y/n) would looove you.”

“Oh would she?”

“Mmmhmm I’ll tell her about you when I get home. But! You have to let me be the flower girl at your wedding, okay?”

“Yes, m’lady.”

He’s got his gentleman butler+ act on lock

Perfect for catering to Marie’s little lady personality

And like a little noble lady she makes promises and is bound to gossip

Which seems to be in favor of Jade

Who smiles as he recognizes the behaviors that she’s copied

From you of course

“Duchess your daughter was a lovely guest.”

“I can’t help but thank you for taking care of her.”

“And I humbly accept.”

Floyd Leech

“Oi oi where ya going so fast?”

“I’m running because I know I need to train to be the fastest tiger ever!”

“Ah? Then let me help you!”

“Wow! You're so fast and strong! I’d say you're a perfwect mwate for Big Sis (Y/n).”

“Yeah I think so too.”

He enjoys the seemingly endless energy of Toulouse

He only runs faster because he’s pumped just thinking about you in the future

Sitting back while he runs with your little one

It's just a matter of time

“Thank you, Floyd. Toulouse is tired out but it seems he had fun.”

“Yeah we did! He was a blast!”

He thinks fondly of him but doesn’t expect much until you thank him later

Deuce Spade

“Ya ever think about marryin’ Big Sis (Y/n)?”

“W-what?! What are y–”

“I think you should. I'd like to have more fun with you!”

He doesn’t connect that Berloiz and you are related in any way

Until the little cat boy flicks his ears as Deuce offhandedly swoons as he talks about you

When he does he gets flustered

Before getting laughed at and going back to playing with him

He bows deeply to Duchess when she returns

“T-thank you for being there for (Y/n)! Consider this a small thank you for that!”

“Oh? Such vigor for a young man. Well, I am grateful you watched over my little gent. I’m sure (Y/n) would be pleased as well.”

“R-really?!”

He can’t help blushing aggressively at your name

He hopes the duchess doesn’t laugh at him when she tells you

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punkpandapatrixk · 2 years ago

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☕️Soul Story with Your Divine Counterpart ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

A long, long, long time ago, in the harmonic realms of Pure Bliss, there was nothing but Dharma. Bored as whoa from a lack of strife, our Souls began to yearn for Drama. In the theatre of the Universe, Game Masters joined forces to create the most hyper-realistic Game of Polarity—of opposites and contrasts. We were told, we would understand Unity better if we could master Duality.

Divine Pairs were invited for the launch of the Game as the unbreakable bond between them was deemed the most powerful, enough to withstand the chaotic nature of Duality and Polarity. In time, we all jumped into the Game expecting all kinds of immersive experiences of playing knaves and heroes, destroyers and builders, enemies and lovers, et cetera, et cetera.

In the beginning, we played amongst many of our own Kind but eventually met those from other harmonics who had later been invited to the Game, too. In a world of illusions… we were dreaming all kinds of events and adventures with our cosmic avatars, and in time, all kinds of storylines intertwined to weave an even bigger cosmic narrative.

We all played for so long we were beginning to forget our true form. Many of us could no longer recognise each other’s Divine Counterparts. A multitude of shape-shifting had caused a distortion in reconnecting to our Original Memory. The game world had now become a second Reality.

🎧Alone Again, Wonderful World by Plastic Tree

🎧I Love You by Off Course

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

There is a super special behind-the-story for this PAC on Patreon. If you’re already subscribed, don’t forget to check the full post ^o^v

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Finally, Happily Ever After with You♥︎

MOVIE: Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)

your Home World – Page of Swords

I have a feeling your Home World (at least one of them that is significant in your current stage of soul evolution) was a relatively new world. You’ve come from a civilisation that prized intellectual pursuits more than anything. Your Kind loved to study; you enjoyed improving your environment and society. Researching plants—understanding them and making chemicals and potions with them—was a pastime of your people. You were working to understand your Planet.

Your Home World had many large, expansive libraries of all the things your people had come to learn. Many people loved to visit the library and read and just have fun studying. You were such big-brained folks. There was no school like we know on Earth. There were academies and laboratories for children to partake in research and new inventions. The weather on your Home World was always pleasantly sunny and you could see buildings that are similar to hot houses on Earth. There were gardens and open fields, of course. Vegs and herbs were your main interest and food was aplenty.

People had roles in society but nobody had any semblance of a concept of what we call ‘jobs’ on Earth. People didn’t work for money. People lived with the joy of knowing that they were alive and that the Planet had provided for them. Your people loved the Planet so much—you appreciated and cherished this new world you were beginning to understand. But… this also meant you didn’t have any concept of conflict, power struggle, and war… You didn’t have a military—never crossed your mind the necessity for such a thing.

And so, when warmongering space invaders attacked your Home World you couldn’t protect yourself.

a promise before birth – 4 of Swords Rx

From the moment the space invaders arrived, it was clear that there was no way your civilisation could stand a chance against the enemy’s warships. The imbalance of military power was too overbearing. You didn’t even have an army, not even a fighter. All you could do was try your best to evacuate your people and escape the Planet. Homes and gardens were destroyed and families were torn apart. Friends and lovers calling out names of lost loved ones. Sisters and mothers shielding children and escaping. Brothers and fathers staying behind to buy time.

This horror was etched in your Soul Memory for a long time. Your heartbreak became a default setting when you chose to be born on Earth. As if, you’d forgotten how it feels like to have peace. But you craved it from the deepest unseen well of your subconscious, and at one point in your soul evolution, you prayed to Infinite Intelligence. You prayed that you could be saved from the looping horror of being trapped in the same scenario of sorrows. You had come to resent the Game.

‘Please, salvage my heart from betrayals, isolation and loneliness.’ Infinite Intelligence heard your plea and whispered: ‘If you could remember your Divine Counterpart, they will remember you, too, and you will be calling out for one another. If you could remember your true form, you will remember what your Divine Counterpart feels (looks) like. And all will be fine in all of the worlds again when you meet.’ And you fell back into slumber to find yourself awake on Earth.

finding each other – 5 of Swords Rx

Earth is a world that is just as war-torn as your Home World, if not a lot worse out here. Being born into a world so reminiscent of all your traumas, navigating Life here has not been easy. As if Infinite Intelligence had played a cruel joke on you. But the truth is, Earth is the perfect place for you right now because by being here you resolve your traumas a lot faster than if you had been born somewhere comparatively better. You are in the midst of recovering from bad dreams of lives lost in wars.

Did it cross your mind that your Divine Counterpart has also been doing the same? You’re not alone. You’re working really hard to purify yourself from all of these bad dreams, bad memories, all so you wouldn’t mistakenly destroy each other when you meet. Infinite Intelligence had arranged for you to face your traumas head on so you wouldn’t have to show your ugly healing to each other. That scenario isn’t for you. Isn’t it so graceful?

Although it’s hard to face your challenges feeling like you’re all alone in the wild wide world, trust me, it’s better to have those quarrels and separations with people who mean little. I can hear a soft voice from the aether saying: ‘You’re… the only reason I’m still breathing… We will meet. When I’m good, I can make everything in your world good!’ So confident. So loving, indeed.

TURNING THE PAGES🔻💜

story behind your Union – Gold Physician (Hippocrates)

the rest of your days – Priestess of Ambition

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Pile 2 – True Calm That Comes Only After the Storms

MOVIE: Grave of the Fireflies & My Neighbor Totoro (both 1988)

your Home World – 8 of Cups

Quite similar to Pile 1, you still carry deep sadness and heavy regrets in your heart that are, truthfully, only remnants of memories from your Home World. Your Home World was quite advanced technologically. Your civilisation depended on the Masculine energy—Yang energy. Societies were run on varying degrees of strictness but the modus operandi was clear: the masculine form and structural ways of running things were favoured.

Obviously, not everybody was happy about that though for a long time, peace was maintained. However, influences from visitors and ambassadors from other civilisations (by comparison they were freer; more fluid) eventually seeped into the consciousness of the main populace, and in time, underground rebellion groups were formed. These alliances were made amongst multiple races of beings that felt they weren’t accepted (or respected enough) by the main races.

Friction began to tear apart the establishment and government officials tried their utmost to crack down dissents. Many went to prison or got killed in the numerous conflicts that were becoming a plague in your Home World. In a last attempt to preserve the codes of freedom, many elders told their young warriors to flee and find refuge in other Worlds that were, hopefully, more balanced in their operation of Yin and Yang.

a promise before birth – 3 of Cups

You left your Home World carrying a promise to come back and make everything better after you’ve learnt enough about the ways of other Worlds. Tears were inevitable but the determination in your heart was solid. You were a new legion of Ambassadors from your own Home World. You didn’t really want to think of yourselves as refugees, after all, many of your Soul Family members were still living alright in your Home World though things were just… a little too unpleasantly unjust.

When you departed your Home World, you created a mirror image of yourself to accompany you across the Multiverse—a divinely ordained Counterpart. This was possible by the grace of the Infinite Intelligence, of course. In the beginning, you went to the same places and learnt similar things. Over time, your understanding of each other’s capabilities became clearer and, with confidence, you decided you would travel separately from now on.

You had this unbreakable bond and an immense capacity for telepathy, so you weren’t the slightest bit worried about losing contact with your Counterpart. You believed that it would be just as easy to call upon each other and reunite as you deemed fit. Alas, your travels brought you to Earth, finally, and things over here were just… slightly over-the-top chaotic for even you to handle. The level of evil on this new World was… NEXT LEVEL.

finding each other – 7 of Pentacles Rx

Crash landing on Earth! Coming here felt like a major accident. Your whole world upside down. The reason being something related to betrayal trauma. To find a World that’s even more polarised than your own; to see a World that operates on the highest level of toxic masculinity; to be in a World this corrupted by its own leaders; needless to say the whole being born thing was traumatising.

The shocks of being born on Earth made it difficult to reconnect with the essence of who you are on a Soul level. Thus you forgot how to contact your Divine Counterpart. You’ve felt like you have so little guidance living Life on Earth. But deep in your psyche, you’ve always known you’re here for something greater than the mundane. You know you don’t belong to this Earth. You’re here on a mission. You want to build something with someone… Someone dear, but you can’t remember.

Can you believe that you and your Divine Counterpart are meant to inspire the dissolution of anger? Yes, this World so deep in the clutches of aggression. You are special Souls who have been ordained to meet on Earth when the time is right to help inspire peace—after all, it is what you seek and Infinite Intelligence is arranging every couple’s rendezvous in the most magnificently mysterious ways. I think your finding each other is just gonna happen naturally by virtue of matching vibrations. So~ Keep focusing on your Life’s mission and just like that~ BOOM! There they are.

TURNING THE PAGES🔻💚

story behind your Union – Green Historian (Herodotus)

the rest of your days – Priestess of Inspiration

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Pile 3 – ‘Kiss You Better; I’m Your Only Other’

MOVIE: Princess Mononoke (1997)

your Home World – 6 of Wands

The Home World that’s currently significant in your soul evolution was a world of glory and magnificence. Your Home World looked nothing like what we know of abundance and celebration on Earth; it was such a rich and happy World. It emanated so much pink, gold, blue, turquoise and soft violet. Back in your Home World, people didn’t even look… humanoid, per se. Your Home World was… fluid. It was a different type of consciousness. Life itself was fluid. Existence was simply flowing with the sweet symphony of the Cosmos.

Your Home World operated on the basis of Love. People were very kind and jolly most of the time. Your people didn’t really understand this whole concept of non-Love. Suffering and terror… what the heck are those? Manipulation and lies… for what? Taking advantage of someone else, murder and theft… but… why? All of those concepts were so foreign yet so fascinating to your people.

When you heard that Earth needed some high-vibe volunteers to ‘raise her vibrations’, actually, not that many people from your Home World were interested LMAO The risks of being separated and forgetting Love sounded not worth a good dime. Your World was so peaceful, loving and fulfilling. But the call from Earth felt a little too urgent! So… Some curious and courageous Souls finally decided to take a test drive. Just a preview. It couldn’t be that bad, you thought.

a promise before birth – King of Wands

With gleeful optimism, you promised people back Home that you would be back with grand stories! Off you and your Soul Mates went to a big academy (on another World) to study and prepare for a reincarnation on Earth. Yup, unlike the other Piles in which they couldn’t help but arrive on Earth, you chose to come here out of genuine curiosity. You were expecting dramatic fun!

You and your Divine Counterpart were giggling with anticipation as you prepared yourselves to dive into the Earth Matrix. You and your Divine Counterpart are powerful Souls; you were confident this Game would be between easy to medium difficulty, although you had been told Earth Game’s level of easy is the equivalent of extra hard anywhere else! Your optimism deafened you to that piece of information🤷🏻‍��️

You kissed your Divine Counterpart and said, ‘I love you. Let’s find each other quickly in this Game. Let’s have fun and then go back to tell everyone what we’ve seen! It’ll be great!’ Your Divine Counterpart nodded in agreement and waved to all members of your Soul Family and they did the same. With great determination to serve your collective consciousness back Home, you dove into the illusions of Life on Earth🌎

finding each other – 5 of Pentacles

Arriving here, from the moment you were born as a child the world was already chaos. The reality of Earth was too shocking to bear alone. Who would’ve thought the density of Earth would cause you this much pain? Physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, everythingally. You thought, ‘Damn, my training at the academy told me nothing, NOTHING, of this!’ Literally you didn’t expect Earth’s negative polarisation would be THIS fucked up.

For you’ve come from a world of nothing but Love, Life on Earth was soul-shattering to say the least. Many moments you’ve thought it impossible to go back to the frequencies of Love and you became dejected as fuck. But you’ve only forgotten that YOU are Love. You carry the memories of all your collective consciousness that supports your coming here. As long as you tap into this Love deep within yourself, so shall you be reconnected to the essence of who you are on a profound Soul level. There, as well, you will feel the heartbeat of your Divine Counterpart.

For you’ve come from Love, it’s as if your Divine Counterpart had left a piece of their Heart in yours so you never feel alone. You are both a complete whole carrying a piece of each other’s essence everywhere you go—a perfect personification of the Yin-Yang symbolism. You are literally inseparable and have never truly been separated. A piece of your Heart in theirs is always reminding them of their ultimate goal in this incarnation: to find each other, weave stories together, and infuse a piece of yourselves into the collective conscious of Mankind as a token of gratitude—for all the experiences.

TURNING THE PAGES🔻💛

story behind your Union – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

the rest of your days – Priestess of Illumination

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reunionatdawn · 6 months ago

Text

My Analysis of Felix's Relationship With Dimitri

Dimitri: A beast craving blood, am I? I assume you're speaking of the events two years ago. Last time we met outside the academy? Felix: I am. The way you suppressed that rebellion… It was ruthless slaughter and you loved every second. I remember the way you killed your victims. How you watched them suffer. And your face…that expression. All the world's evil packed into it. That was our first battle. I remember it vividly.

In Greek mythology, Ares was the god of war. He specifically represented the physical and destructive nature of war, embodying the bloodshed and rage that come with it. His sacred animals include the vulture, the dog, and (whaddaya know) the boar. Athena, on the other hand, represented the more intellectual and disciplined side of war. Her warfare was guided by strategy, planning, and intelligence, emphasizing the importance of foresight and wisdom in conflict.

Despite their shared domain of warfare, Ares and Athena are often depicted as rivals. Their differing approaches to warfare and conflicting personalities led to tension between them. Athena was connected to peace, as she sought to resolve conflicts through wisdom and negotiation rather than brute force. She was often portrayed as a protector and a planner, who preferred to avoid unnecessary bloodshed. If Boar!Dimitri was meant to be symbolically aligned with Ares, then Felix was almost certainly meant to be aligned with Athena, who was the wielder of the Aegis Shield.

(Japanese Translation) Felix: If you were ordered to commit needless slaughter? Dedue: I would kill. Felix: Even if the target were defenseless children or elderly people… even if they were once your fellow countrymen?

Felix also refers to Dedue in a dehumanizing way. "Dog" was a dig at his blind obedience. In English Felix asked if Dedue would attack his own comrades. That could mean anyone. The other kids from Garreg Mach or maybe Church soldiers. But in Japanese, it was clearer that he was actually referring to the Duscur people. It implied that Felix was revolted with Faerghus's genocide and did not condone it.

Felix didn't know anything about the relationship between Dimitri and Dedue. But considering his misunderstanding, it explained why he was so disgusted with Dedue initially. And it showed his fear of becoming a knight. He was afraid that he'd be used as Dimitri's attack dog, sent out to kill whoever he wanted revenge against, possibly innocent Duscur people. And since he was king, he'd have no choice but to obey. And I don't think his fear was irrational or unfounded. Felix would have been an outlier for not supporting the genocide.

AM's story was, in many ways, a critique of patriarchal societies and values. Patriarchal societies often glorify aggression and dominance as masculine ideals. The "King of Liberation" Nemesis was named after the Greek goddess of divine retribution. Overall, Nemesis embodied the concept of "righteous anger" in Greek mythology, ensuring that mortals, especially those who defied the natural order or ethical standards, faced consequences for their actions. And Nemesis was the true "goddess" of Faerghus, not Sothis.

Dimitri: The first time I led on the battlefield, I was sent to quell a rebellion in the west. It was not a difficult fight. The enemy was not well-trained and their morale was low. A swing of the lance, and your opponent falls. A flash of your blade, and a path opens up. That's the sort of battle it was. Easy…right?

The storyline of 3H was also a criticism of feudalism. Peasants and serfs had very limited personal freedoms and were often subject to the will of their lords. In feudal times, there were instances where peasants took up arms in various uprisings and rebellions due to coercion or threats from local lords. Unlike knights, peasants typically lacked formal training and proper equipment for warfare.

(Japanese Translation) Dimitri: But at that moment, I realized that those we had deemed as enemies and cut down without hesitation…are human beings, living just like us. Of course, we can't just let those who commit reckless acts of violence run rampant, but…We are imposing our own sense of justice, and in doing so, we are taking away someone's family or comrades. Even though I've come to terms with it, there are still times when my legs tremble at the gravity of my actions... Byleth: That's what it means to be a normal human being.

It was heavily implied that most of the soldiers Dimitri and Felix fought during the rebellion were mere peasants acting at the behest of their lord and had little agency in the overall conflict over the throne. Because of this, I could understand why Felix saw Dimitri's unnecessary brutality during that battle as evil. And Felix was not portrayed as wrong for his criticisms, either. Dimitri himself admitted that he had crossed a moral boundary and violated his own ideals.

Dimitri: If we could just accept each other and make mutual concessions, one step at a time… Perhaps… Who knows if that's even possible. Everyone has something that is unacceptable within them. I certainly do, and I'd wager you do as well. I wonder which is best, Professor… To cut away that which is unacceptable, or to find a way to accept it anyway…

Dimitri's actions were unacceptable. And Felix had to decide whether to cut away the unacceptable or find a way to accept it anyway. And that conflict of cutting off vs. acceptance extended to his relationship with his father, his other friends, and even himself as well.

Dimitri: Well now! He never said any of that to me. Ingrid: Well, he was Felix's brother. That family's not big on displays of affection. Dimitri: That is true. We spent about as much time arguing as we did training.

In Japanese, Ingrid said that Glenn wasn't "素直" (sunao). It describes someone who is honest, genuine, and open with one's feelings, which was how Ingrid meant it. And it also has connotations of the person having an obedient disposition. "Sunao" implies someone who avoids being overly assertive or aggressive and behaves in a soft or gentle manner. Dimitri added that Glenn was not "sunao" in that sense, either, as he was always picking fights with him.

Sylvain: I remember it more like you always following me around. Whenever there was something wrong—like you lost to your brother or you fought with Dimitri— you'd come crying to me. You were so meek and pure back then, cute even… like a baby brother.

Felix had the exact opposite personality of his brother. Sylvain said that Felix was "sunao". He also described how clingy Felix acted towards him as a child. And the Japanese word usually carries a negative connotation. It suggests that the level of attachment or dependence is seen as excessive or problematic, leading to discomfort or frustration for the person on the receiving end. And while Sylvain didn't seem to feel that way, I think Dimitri did.

Felix: For years, the boar prince and I were inseparable.

In Chapter 2, Felix referred to their relationship as "腐れ縁" (kusareen) or "rotten bond". It is defined as "a relationship where, even if one tries to separate, they cannot." But it does not mean "inseparable" the way the English word indicates. "Inseparable" emphasizes closeness and mutual affection. "Kusareen" describes a bond that persists even though it's undesirable, troublesome, or "rotten." The relationship endures out of circumstance, habit, or obligation, rather than affection or choice. It is often used with a sense of resignation, frustration, or even humor, acknowledging a bond that's hard to break off but not particularly wanted.

Dimitri: You used to whine unless you could do everything with me…

I got the impression that, as kids, Dimitri was the one who viewed his relationship with Felix as "kusareen". He naturally got along better with Glenn than he did with Felix. Glenn was someone Dimitri enjoyed spending time with, even when they butt heads. And Felix was the annoying crybaby little brother who was too clingy. And some of Felix's discomfort around Dimitri was probably due to this history of feeling inferior to his more popular brother.

Felix: But without a blade to cut down your enemies, you cannot win. Those who are weak lose everything, and they die. Those who are strong win, and live on. I understand why you balk at bloodshed, but you must know that it has a purpose. Flayn: And what purpose might that be? Felix: A purpose. Let's just leave it at that. I'm not in the mood to debate you.

In his B-Support with Flayn, Felix debated the philosophical purpose of a sword and what its purpose is.

Dimitri: In Faerghus, we've long considered blades as tools of destiny. As a way to cut a path to a better future. She was being dragged all over, unable to live the life she wanted. I thought the dagger could help her cut a path to the future she dreamed of.

And I'm sure that he was raised with the same philosophy as Dimitri.

Felix: I've been preparing to take this path. My own path—not my old man's, and not the boar's.

In my Sylvix analysis, I argued that Felix wanted to be with Sylvain and that was what he wished for at the Goddess Tower. Sylvain hated Crests and Edelgard even sympathized with the plight of his brother Miklan. He also didn't want to get married. Thematically, both he and Felix are stronger recruits for CF than the other non-AM routes. I can see them sympathizing with Edelgard's ideals and running away from Faerghus, especially if it meant that they got to be together.

Felix: They used to call my father the "Shield of Faerghus." Now he's gone, and Arianrhod has fallen. Yet the Knights of Seiros remain. As does the boar. What terrifies me most is his stubbornness. He'll keep on fighting to the last man. He's a monster. I've seen it firsthand.

CF!Felix dehumanized Dimitri so that he could justify cutting him down. He didn't hate him or want him to die. He was just in the way of the future he wanted, so he had to cut him down. If Felix uses his sword to cut his own path, he can never realize his ideal future. He betrays his own ideals and sacrifices his humanity, and his paired ending with Sylvain is the most tragic one in the whole game. He has a much happier outcome in AM where he stays in Faerghus.

Felix: Hello. I have a request concerning that…creature. I can hardly look at the thing in the state it's in. Do something about it. Byleth: I'll see what I can do. Felix: Please do. We tracked the boar for five years. I thought he was dead. In the state he's in, he might as well be. He's gotten better at killing people, and in exchange, surrendered what little humanity he had.

Felix did have compassion for Dimitri and urged Byleth to comfort him. But after Dimitri tortured Randolph, Felix became snarky. His criticisms were valid. But they were not solely rooted in objectivity. He harbored a sense of spiteful pettiness towards Dimitri as well.

Rodrigue: When I heard you'd been executed, I rushed there as fast as I could, blind with fury. When I got there, I was fed some garbage about not being able to see your body. The next thing I knew, I was gripping my blade and... Gilbert, you have done well to locate His Highness. I am truly grateful. And you… I have you to thank, as well. Byleth: We were all fortunate. Rodrigue: Well, we are in your debt. I will repay you for this someday, I swear it. And you, Felix… You have also done well to bring His Highness here. Felix: Hmph.

When Glenn died, Felix was the replacement knight. But to Felix, Dimitri must have felt more like the replacement son. So, it wasn't hard to see why Felix's and Dimitri's relationship was so rotten. Dimitri's life was always considered inherently more valuable than his.

Felix: Just kill them from behind. As long as you don't see their faces, you won't know if you know them. Dimitri: We won't know unless we see their face… Yes, I suppose that is true.

In the Sealed Forest, Dimitri was hesitant because he thought the enemy might be someone they knew. The moment he found the dagger in the Flame Emperor's possession, he suspected Edelgard was involved in the Tragedy of Duscur. Felix offered the advice to kill them from behind. This was probably something he had to do for himself to make cutting down other humans bearable.

(Japanese Translation) Dimitri: …If you don't want to cut down someone you know, then just cut them down without looking at their face. Isn't that right? Felix: Tch… Yeah, I suppose so.

When the army planned to go to the Great Bridge, the localization changed the dialogue, so Dimitri made a comment about tarrying over the corpses of the dead. In Japanese, he was actually throwing Felix's old advice from the Sealed Forest back at him, probably to spite him for the earlier comment he made. One of Felix's worst fears about becoming a knight was now coming true. Having to obey the orders of the king and being used as a tool for his personal revenge.

Felix: Revenge can't bring the dead back to life. Unfortunately such a thing isn't possible. Hanging onto your anger, like the boar here, is futile.

Byleth tried talking Dimitri out of his vengeance softly, but it didn't work. With Rodrigue unwilling to scold him, Felix felt the need to do so in his place.

Felix: Remember, Professor. It's not compassion for this fool that has brought our army so far. There are those of us who despise the Empire, and those who side with the church. If we keep running down this path, it's only a matter of time before the ground beneath us collapses.

While Felix was harsh, he was still absolutely right from an objective standpoint. This was something that needed to be said. It was not fair to everyone else in the army to prioritize revenge. It was not even fair to Dimitri to be leading an army in his unstable condition.

(Japanese Translation) Rodrigue: Hey, cut the useless chatter, foolish son. Felix: ...Tch. You really are annoying...

Rodrigue admitted to Byleth that Dimitri was behaving foolishly, but he could not scold him. However, he had no problem scolding Felix for his entirely legitimate points. In this instance, I'm sure that Felix felt like the black sheep while Dimitri was the golden child.

(Japanese Translation) Felix: When I was a child, I hit my father only once. Now, looking back, he might have been struggling in his own way. I want to apologize, but…it's too late.

After Rodrigue died, Felix spent the next chapter in his room mourning. His note to the advice box showed that he wanted to apologize to his father. If he had gotten to apologize, would their relationship have been healthy? Well, we actually got to see them apologize to each other in Hopes.

Rodrigue: And you, Felix? What would your choice have been? Would you have abandoned His Majesty to save yourself? Or would you have chosen to fight until death claimed you? I myself would've safeguarded His Majesty at all costs. I know that it wasn't in Glenn's nature to flee either. Felix: It's always about courage or cowardice with you. I wouldn't have chosen anything.

And I thought their relationship was still very dysfunctional. Rodrigue always made his acceptance of Felix conditional upon whether he was willing to prioritize Dimitri's life over his own. He was willing to compromise because Felix said he would find a way for both of them to live. Still, there was never an option for Felix to choose a path other than knighthood. But even if their relationship had aspects that were unacceptable, Felix still loved his father and didn't want him to be cut down. He wished he had compromised and met him halfway.

Felix: I have a question for you. Answer quickly before my hand slips and I cut you in half. Dimitri: Always so ominous. Well? What is it, Felix? Felix: Sometimes you have an animal's face, contorted with anger and bloodlust. At other times, a man's, with a friendly smile. Which is your true face?

In their A-Support, Felix threatened to cut Dimitri down. He was not truly going to do it. But it showed that there may have been a part of him that still wanted to. He still considered Boar!Dimitri's actions unacceptable and held a lot of resentment towards him for abusing his authority as king and indirectly getting his father killed.

Dimitri: If I do not shoulder the anguish and regret they must have felt, who will? Felix: Hah. So, that's how you justify your atrocities. Dimitri: What do you mean?

Before the battle at Gronder, Felix was standing outside the classrooms, presumably remembering the students from the other houses. So, his anger makes even more sense when you consider that the Gronder Field battle was written as a bloodbath. Assuming you didn't recruit everyone, the Blue Lions had to kill not only their old classmates from the Empire, but also the students from the Alliance. Because of Dimitri's vendetta, the BLs might have been forced to pointlessly kill Raphael, Ignatz, Leonie, and Lysithea. Or else they would have been killed themselves.

Felix never changed his beliefs, nor did he suddenly embrace Rodrigue's ideals of chivalry. He simply did his best to live up to his own ideals. He chose to prioritize humanity over ideology. He attempted to acknowledge Dimitri's sorrow, like he did with Ashe when he was grieving for Lonato. He knew he'd regret it if he never got the chance, like he did with his father.

Felix: "I will fulfill my duty to the late king." My old man used to say that over and over, like a mantra. How nauseating. No one seems to understand. The dead won't acknowledge your loyalty. They don't care. What a load of bunk it is, pretending to serve a corpse. You're serving your own ego. [...] The dead are dead, the living are living. You have to respect that boundary. If you keep stringing gravestones around your neck, you'll snap. Dimitri: Even still… I cannot forget them, nor can I let them go. Felix: Then keep those thoughts to yourself. If you're too weak to do that, abandon your throne. Become a grave keeper.

In Japanese, Felix used a phrase which translates to "suck it up". He was very harsh on Dimitri. But he felt like his father loved Dimitri more than him. And to be fair, he probably did. Rodrigue died caressing Dimitri's face and told him to live for himself. Felix was told to die for Dimitri. And yet, Felix was still reaching out to comfort Dimitri over his father's death. He was remarkably compassionate.

Felix: I'll bear this pain until the day I die, but I refuse to wallow in it. I have more important things to do than blubber for my whole life. Dimitri: …

In English, Felix accused Dimitri of being a crybaby. In Japanese, Felix called him "甘ったれた" (amattareta). It means they are spoiled, overly dependent, or immature in their behavior. They act in a way that expects indulgence or leniency from others—often displaying a needy, childlike dependency. I got the impression that maybe Dimitri had called Felix that a long time ago. And I think Dimitri probably got a huge kick out of that particular insult due to the irony. It's why he will begin to tease Felix about his clinginess and his laziness in their dining hall and chore dialogue after they reach A-Support.

Dimitri: Heh. You know, Felix, you really are growing more and more like your brother. Always so sarcastic, and constantly looking for a fight. But deep inside, more than anyone, you— Felix: What are you getting at? Dimitri: Oh… It's nothing. But allow me to thank you. Your perspective has opened my eyes. Felix: Hmph. Not my intention. I couldn't stand the pathetic look on your face. That's all. Dimitri: I see. If you say so, then we will leave it at that.

Dimitri finally was able to acknowledge Felix's true strength, even if Felix didn't like to acknowledge that softer side of himself. This Support doesn't cleanly eliminate all the tension between them. But that's okay. Dimitri was willing to compromise and leave it at that.

Edelgard: When humanity stands strong and people reach out for each other…there's no need for gods.

In the Japanese version of the prologue, the correct answer to Sothis's question is not "a mortal" but "a human being". 3H is a game that asks the player what it truly mean to be human. Edelgard had good intentions and was dedicated to the cause of placing leadership of Fódlan back in humanity's hands. But I would argue that in her ruthless pursuit of that goal, she lost sight of her humanity.

The route's name "Azure Moon" is significant. In many cultures, the moon has been personified as a goddess or a divine feminine figure. Sothis drew strong inspiration from Gaia, the Greek goddess of the Earth and the and primordial mother of all life. The Titan Rhea was Gaia's daughter. Rhea was also the mother of Demeter, the Greek mother goddess of agriculture, grain, and the nurturing of life. And the name "Dimitri" literally means "follower of Demeter".

Felix: He intends to speak to the emperor? She's his stepsister, I know, but this seems risky. Byleth: You're against it? Felix: No, I'm not. I'm sure he's thought it through. If the two can settle this diplomatically, that would be the best way out of this mess. No more bloodshed. Let's just hope he doesn't become so overwhelmed with emotion that he's unable to strike her down… should the need arise.

The Renaissance ushered in more secular values by promoting humanism. The humanist movement did not attempt to abolish the Church with violence. Instead, humanists sought to reform the Church through intellectual discourse. Felix was Dimitri's biggest critic as a ruler due to the lack of humanity he showed towards his enemies. But he is the one recruitable student who cannot have a happy ending if he leaves the AM route. And it was due to the fact that he was never able to stop seeing the humanity in Dimitri.

(Normal) Felix: The path to the emperor is open. Fulfill your duty as our king. (Dimitri & Felix support level C reached) Felix: Go and win. Be the boar that you are, and don't you dare look back.

I don't think Felix needed to follow in his father or brother's footsteps and become a knight or Dimitri's right-hand man. Ultimately, I don't even think they needed to be friends. Their A-Support offered a sense of acceptance and closure. Even if you interpret it as more of a divergence of paths, there was a sense of compromise and mutual concession. But achieving A-Support still wasn't even necessary.

Felix completes his character arc even if he never achieves any Support level with Dimitri. He made peace with his father by meeting him halfway and helping Dimitri ascend the throne. But not necessarily anything more than that. The most important thing was not whether they cut off their relationship. It was for Felix to stay true to his ideals and not cut Dimitri down literally.

(Japanese Translation) Felix: Keep that intense thirst for revenge locked in your heart. It's something only I need to know. Dimitri: So essentially, you're saying if I'm going to pour my heart out, do it only in front of you? Felix: Ugh… Dimitri: …I can resist becoming a beast because you accept it. Just as Kyphon was to Loog, and Rodrigue was to Father… Please continue to stand by my side as my right hand, Felix. Felix: …Your right hand, huh? Well, that doesn't sound too bad.

Felix was the one person who had seen Dimitri at his worst. In AG, he filled in for Byleth by acting as Dimitri's confidante. He didn't really want to. But Dimitri said Felix accepted him and that allowed him to retain his humanity. That's when he agreed. And for the first time, he actually felt happy about the idea of being the right-hand man.

#fe3h #fe3h meta #felix hugo fraldarius #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #long post

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