#dive divas

[petitmonde]

[chingona-soy]

Mood for this year 😝

[elizi--s]

i am dying over here trying to make a teto freedom dive cover like honestly this is killing me i keep missing notes 😭and it takes 50 seconds to actually hear it lol (skip to 0:52 to get past the loading screen)

[bunnyrafe]

not to be insane but i need to get violently drunk and make out with a stranger very soon. everyone help me manifest.

[okochamasensou]

song logo transparents, ripped from mm+

[minotaurfemme]

the crows were waiting for me outside because I was like 5 minutes late lol

[bettercraic]

is there any interest in seeing a screenshot of my truly psychotic hellcheer wip folder

[wackyattack]

The like rage I feel when someone refers to a menstrual disc as a cup (or the hypothetical vice versa) cannot be named. It is petty. It's essence cannot be captured. It burns with the wrath of the sun and yet I recognize it is so foolish and unimportant. Ajskdjsjd

[greythroat]

Kuro Games please put Camellya in PGR

[alexjcrowley]

Pietro Castellitto you are a dead man

[butterflysnowflake]

look nothing's more suspicious than massive pastries

Yep, just dive head first into the cake. Just like that, Wolfie.

[corpium]

In which Harry takes a wrong turn chasing down Bellatrix in the Ministry, and typical tomarry time travel ensues. Only in this fic, Voldemort follows Harry back into the past.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Voldemort surveys the wreckage of the Time Room with a strange mix of dismay and disappointment. Potter’s nowhere in sight, and neither is the prophecy. Rogers is present, though, his head aging and deaging cyclically.

Voldemort eyes him curiously for a split-second, but he has no time to study this odd phenomena now. He summons a pinch of time sand from amidst the shattered remains of the time turners and enchants it, then summons Rogers’ panicking form over to him.

“Be still,” he orders, then, with a flick of his wand, sends the sand spinning around Rogers’ face. It sinks into the Death Eater’s skin, and at last the transformation stops, leaving Rogers as the adult he should be.

“My Lord!” the man gasps. “Thank you, thank you, I—”

“Enough,” Voldemort hisses. “Where is Potter?”

Rogers pales. “He—he—Bellatrix—they were fighting and he just—he vanished, I don’t know—”

Voldemort grabs Rogers by the jaw, yanking him close, digging his nails into the man’s skin. “Lord Voldemort does not have time for pathetic stammering. Show me.” He doesn’t bother securing the Death Eater's permission before diving into the man’s mind.

Voldemort pushes Rogers away once he’s finished, letting him fall to the floor. Voldemort observes the room, casting several charms to detect traces of magic. Despite a moment of dismay at the possible loss of Bella, he’s tempted to believe Potter has vaporized himself by messing about with such turbulent magic. The boy's disappearance would certainly make Voldemort's circumstances easier, but he had so wanted to demonstrate his superiority before his followers.

“My Lord,” comes Lucius’s voice from behind him, and Voldemort turns to find Lucius dropping into a kneel in the Time Room’s doorway. “The Aurors have been alerted to our presence.” Lucius keeps his head down, so he misses the quick look of perplexity that crosses Voldemort’s face.

“Did you do something to your hair, Lucius?” Voldemort whispers. From another, the question would sound flippant, teasing perhaps. From him, it sounds terrifying, and rightfully so. Something in the universe has gone terribly wrong.

Lucius looks up haltingly. “No, my Lord.”

Voldemort stares. “You are telling me that your hair has always been brown and curly,” he says lightly.

“Yes, my Lord.” Lucius’ voice shakes.

Voldemort directs his gaze to Rogers, who has copied Lucius’ kneel. “Rogers? Is that so?”

Rogers’ gaze darts between Voldemort and Lucius, trying and failing to hide his bewilderment. “Y-yes, my Lord,” says Rogers. “As long as I have known him.”

Salazar preserve him. “Your parentage, Malfoy. Tell me.’

“…Abraxas Malfoy and Miranda Percell,” Lucius stammers.  

Miranda Percell. Voldemort only vaguely recalls the name from his schoolboy days.

He turns his back on Lucius and Rogers to observe the Time Room. “Guard the room,” he tells them. “Let no one in at any cost.” He steps inside, repairs the door, and casts a variety of locking and secrecy charms on it, effectively sealing himself inside indefinitely.

He’s going to need as much time as possible if he’s to figure out how to stop this madness.

Potter’s rewriting history.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The Department of Mysteries Division of Time only sees true time travelers once every decade or so, and thank Merlin for that, because they are usually major divas who think that the world revolves around their personal (and frankly, incredibly overinflated) tragedies.

Greg had only just handled the most recent time traveler a month ago (maaaaybe unofficially, but who could blame him? The paperwork alone would have had him working overtime for years if he'd have had kept the incident entirely above board), so he’s quite looking forward to a quiet, uninterrupted decade of intellectual exploration and experimentation. At last, some damn peace around here. Now the real work can be done--and he can get home on time! His Kneazle might finally stop tearing up his furniture in retaliation for his tardiness.

So when a new time traveler arrives with a bang that sends Greg’s equipment flying mid-setup (thankfully contained within its own wards, but still entirely disrupted), Greg curses violently. And only ten minutes before the end of his shift, too! He should really assign himself some new hours.

“Merlin’s tits! Goddamnit shit balls! Circe herself better hold me back, the next time traveler who thinks their inane crisis is my problem is going to—is going to…” He stumbles on his words. His newest traveler, a handsome man with aristocratic, dark-haired features and remarkably vivid burgundy eyes, is holding a wand to Greg’s throat.

“Do you often receive time travelers in this department?” the man asks him quietly, casual as can be, as if he isn’t holding Greg at wandpoint.

“Not usually, no,” Greg answers hesitantly, internally cursing his foul luck. This one probably came from some post-apocalyptic hellscape he’s trying to prevent, given how quickly he’s turned to violence. In Greg’s experience, this type is far too mercurial to be trusted.

“Recently, then?” asks the man, arching an elegant eyebrow.

“Maybe,” answers Greg. There’s no way this man could be from the same future as last month’s traveler. That would be impossible.... Right? “Why?” Greg asks, ideas churning. What if it is possible? Why, if the two travelers are so connected as to cross time and all its variables to reach each other, figuring out the how of it could be the breakthrough of the century—nay, the millennia!

“I’m looking for a boy. About sixteen years of—”

“Goes by Harry?” Greg asks quickly, excitement making his hands twitch. “Lightning bolt scar on his forehead?”

The man smiles dazzlingly, and for a moment, Greg forgets that there’s still a wand at his throat. “That’s the one,” says the man, looking an odd mix of ecstatic and relieved.

“You must be the godfather,” says Greg, flipping open his notebook. “You must tell me everything. This is entirely unprecedented in the world of transtemporal migration. When—”

The man holds up a hand. “I’ll happily tell you everything, but first, I need to see the boy—Harry. I need to make sure he’s okay. Surely you understand?” The man says it so earnestly that Greg nearly scoffs. Time travelers and their Merlin bedamned emotions. The traveler clearly won’t tell Greg anything useful until his silly sentimentality has been satisfied.

“Fine,” Greg says with a put-upon sigh. “Let’s get your new identity sorted out first; then I’ll take you to him.” Greg summons his book of spare identities. “I’ve already set the boy up as the son of two Muggleborns, so I suppose it would be a bit much to set you up as the same.” He turns a page. “How do you feel about being a halfblood?” Greg looks up to see the time traveler watching him intently. His gaze, unblinking and still, is rather unnerving actually. “Say, aren’t you supposed to be dead?” Greg asks.

“Many would certainly hope so,” says the traveler. “You’ve provided more than enough assistance, Greg. I’ll take it from here." And before Greg can realize what's happening, the traveler murmurs, "Obliviate.”

***********

This was born from an amazing Discord chat from months and months ago, the screenshots of which are... somewhere lost on my hard drive, hopefully (curse you, OneDrive and your stupid storage!). Idk how far I'll get on this fic because it's kinda my brain empty but I must write backburner for when I get stuck on other stuff, but I think it'll be fun. Pretty lighthearted, too. Well. I say lighthearted. Which means it will start lighthearted and then devolve into angsty angst with a heavy side of comic relief, probably.

Who knows lol. We'll see!

[teekays]

hello! if memory serves you are the blog that talked about boy band pretty as a marketing tactic (or something to that effect? the search function does not work so if i’m wrong i’m terribly sorry) and i was wondering if you would be willing to find someone from each team (can include prospects if you want) to create the ultimate nhl boy band. this is not a necessary thing to do, solely shits and gigs and if you ever feel like it doing it. have a lovely day!

HIIIIIII that WAS me and you sent this at the perfect time because i am at the laundromat with time to kill and i LOVE to discuss this.... let's chop it up.... a few disclaimers: this is subjective so don't get mad at me and i will be including prospects and ahl players where i know its applicable BUT for most of these teams i will be going off the main roster + looks alone because if i did a full deep dive vibes analysis on every team's roster and prospects it would take me like two months to answer this ask... you understand. we are being SHALLOW here today in the true spirit of the boy band industry. let's go!!!

carolina hurricanes: i know everyone wants me to say sebastian aho but he is 1) too old 2) too unsettling looking. the elf on the shelf is not boy band pretty im sorry 😭 i do love him but he's just not the vibe here... i will say based on looks either scott morrow or jackson blake and his 90s heartthrob hair. i want to say seth jarvis because he's my special pop pop but that does contradict almost everything i have said previously so i will not be biased but know that if he was a pop star i would be his biggest fan i would kiss his poster. and that's my truth

columbus blue jackets: in the interest of journalistic integrity i went to their roster instead of just saying it's obviously kj as the intimidating aloof one in the boy ("boy") band but actually i do think it's cole sillinger.... teen heartthrob. also i didn't know that he was born in columbus because his dad was playing for the team and his brother is also on the team??? imagine having a whole destiny like that and its for COLUMBUS OHIO 😭

new jersey devils: jack hughes. open and shut case argue with the WALL

new york islanders: NOT MAT BARZAL. HE LOOKS 35. STAND UP LADIES!!! lowkey i do not know any of these dudes and this roster is kind of busted as fuck 😭😭😭 (NOT ANTHONY DUCLAIR who is too old to be a boy band boy but who i do love) bargain bin team... anyway isaiah george YOU! are the only cute person the new york islanders

new york rangers: matt rempe. those pictures of him lounging around on the phone??? wow. no words. diva heartthrob behavior. it's sad what they're doing to him what are we doing to our beautiful queens :(

philadelphia flyers: after much careful deliberation.... i think denver barkey is taking it. denver is such a deeply boy band name tbh he was born for this!!! i know everyone thinks it's jamie (who i still forget is a flyer 😭) but can you imagine him on a stage? singing a song? they are reinventing shoegaze for him. negative star quality (AFFECTIONATE!!!!!!! LOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!)

pittsburgh penguins: well NOW the obvious answer is rutger mcgroarty... not even worth going through that senior center roster when he's there tbh sorry pens

washington capitals: AGAIN. SENIOR CENTER ROSTER. i had to go to their prospects page to find someone suitable and my vote is patrick leonard he's a cutie!!! also im so sorry to say this but my jaw dropped when i got to this guy why are you playing hockey you need to make a children's album RIGHT NOW. i know he could do a banger cover of the We're going on a bear hunt song. but i digress...

boston bruins: matthew poitras is adorable and exudes star quality NEXTTTT. shoutout also brett harrison who looks like a long lost jonas brother

buffalo sabres: JACK QUINNN JQUIZZY HIMSELF partly for looks mostly for vibes... he has extreme "jack dylan grazer vape apology video" energy and also he has that boyish charm... either him or devon levi (hot) not miss owen power for the same reasons as jamie. she could never be a pop star 😔 ryan mcleod used to be the oilers popstar boy but now he's got too much competition he's a little niche for the title

detroit red wings: my gut tells me simon edvinsson but a look at the roster tells me there is some competition in the form of amadeus lombardi... if we were discussing this two years ago mo seider would be the obvious answer but he's too grizzled now 😔

florida panthers: 🙄 here comes another busted fucking roster... i guess denisenko??? panthers are not really representing here....

montreal canadiens: ARBER <3 he's like the bad boy hottie in the boy band. the one that makes your dad shake his head when he sees him on tv

ottawa senators: wow the atlantic division is fucking WACK this was another case of like. okay i guess ill pick one of yous but REALLY? so congratulations jorian donovan YOU are in the boy band

tampa bay lightning: seriously what is going on in this division. jack finley looks like he was the closeted one in a boy band from the early 2000s but he's aged past that now and he has a husband and a wine brand.... so we will bring him back for nostalgia points. welcome to the team. also i have to be honest i thought of myself as pretty well acquainted with the ahl but the SYRACUSE CRUNCH? that's crazy

leafs: JOSEPH WOLL! boyish charm out the ears on that one. a real cutie

chicago: obviously it's bedard. we all know it's bedard. on the surface he has no charisma but he does have a certain kind of shy boy charm and he IS adorable... he's the one in the boy band who makes your mom tut over him like "he seems like a nice boy"

colorado avalanche: wow huge props to matt stienburg for having maybe the single most boy band roster photo i have seen yet... THIS is the guy they get in the boy band because he's already had huge success with his hit single called like, Heart React Girlfriend or whatever. this is jacob sartorius if he played hockey. this is chase dreams. this kid is going places

dallas stars: it's obviously wyjo, joining the ranks with cbedard as The Nice One <3

minnesota wild: okay i was going to say brock faber because every group needs a kevin jonas (SORRY BROCK) but WHO is kyle masters and why does he look like knockoff brendan brisson. budget briss. diet briss. we have briss at home.

nashville predators: this just reminded me cody glass is a penguin now 💔 anyway the preds have some STRONG contenders here wow.... jeremy hanzel is taking it but i think luke evangelista could pull it off... now if you asked me to be really subjective it would be ozzy wiesblatt who would also be the subject of much poster kissing and rigged "which member of the nhl boy band should you date" tests so i get him as the result but that's just me....

st louis blues: jeremie biakabutuka your radiant smile has charmed me.... welcome to the band....

utah whatevers: MONTANA ONYEBUCHI I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THE SHARKS DIDNT APPRECIATE YOU. BUT WE WILL..... also matt villalta kinda giving off brand kj... you could build a whole off brand version of that umich team just with guys from other teams i bet

winnipeg jets: dylan coghlan you will always be famous to ME but i fear you are a little too old for our purposes here.... other than him they kinda don't have a lot going for them.... brayden yager it is your time to shine as off brand owen power ♥️

anaheim ducks: some strong competition here... tz is the obvious choice but i think we need to think bigger... olen zellwegger please step forward....

calgary flames: matt coronato i am free on thursday if you would like to hang out on thursday when i am free and also join this boy band

edmonton oilers: yet another old ass roster 😭 they're lucky they got so many sabres because matt savoie is saving their asses rn

los angeles kings: angus booth is smizing in every single photo i saw of him so. come on now

san jose sharks: it's so obviously will smith i don't even know what we're doing here tbh

seattle kraken: tye kartye looks like he would be into white water rafting so he can be the nature guy in the boy band.... strong competition from tucker robertson but he's just a touch too gay porn for this vibe

vancouver canucks: JETT WOO... HELLO.... but also shoutout cole mcward for having 2014 gay youtuber phenotype. a connor franta troye sivan type face if ive ever seen one

vegas golden knights: BRISS ‼️‼️‼️ my little tabloid queen... not only is he in the boy band but he's in the news and the media. he was born to be a star. natural ham. child actor energy. alex holtz is also a strong contender for this but i think he's off on his own doing his little pop star solo act thing

this took way longer than laundromat time but it was worth it i had so much fun!!!!! thank you!!!!!!

[feetreadyheartbeatsteady]

Thank you so much to @greeneyedwildthing for creating this challenge! It's been so much fun to see everyone's picks. I also had the best Friday & Saturday nights reading through fics to hit each letter--this fandom has so many talented authors!

A: The Answer by SowenElf

B: The Backup Plan by @hockeyspiral23

C: cold woman by @caeli0306

D: dive by @siobhanbooks

E: enough to weather a storm by @iva-the-diva

F: flower bud in concrete by @justallihere

G: Of Galahad by @serahadmoni

H: Homesick by @widebrimmedhatsblog

I: The Infamous Infantry Guy by @saranova

J: just keep your head above by @copperfirebird

K: keep quiet (nothing comes as easy as you) by @skyfallscotland

L: let me also wear (such deliberate disguises) by @revelationinthelightofday-writes

M: My Kingdom. My Throne. My Queen. by @shipmistress9

N: Never Not Mine by amberswansong

O: On Tuesdays We Lift by @overjoyedisland

P: Picking Up the Pieces by @suebswrites

Q: The Quiet Game by @acourtofladydeath

R: Revisionist History by @maethologies

S: Sound of Silence by @bestbookfriends

T: The Odyssey of Immrick by @ubiquitouslyme

U: The Underpants Heist by @yanny-77

V: Violent Little Thing by @taumoebaa

W: Where Does The Good Go by @essjaywrites

X: Xaden's Day Off by @alittlegirlwaitinginagarden

Y: your little hand's wrapped around my finger, it's so quiet in the world tonight by @softodettes

Z (*took a creative liberty): resurrect my heart too by thewrittenmaZe on Ao3 and @greeneyedwildthing on tumblr!

[blue-arts-stuff]

Let's dive into each other until we both forget our own existences.

Note: what now divas? :||¿