#ditzy yaps

[ditzybat]

I love how this Challengers parody implies that Bruce and John, have, in fact, boinked.

[ask-olive-huchers]

“IMAGINE BEING IN JAIL LIKE A LOSER‼️‼️‼️”

“GO AWAY NO ONE ASKED YOU”

[meowkn]

Going through a Bruce Wayne phase no one speak to me for the next consecutive month

[michi-chelle]

no thank you!!! stans, uhm yea so why am i playing as a fuckin menace?

[elclassicohater]

He is NOT him

[novy2sirius]

ASTROLOGY NOTES - volume 8; ©novy2sirius

libra energy is often referred to as “ditzy” which is interesting because when you sit down and have deep conversations with libra placements you realize they’re much smarter than they portray. libra is the 7th sign and in numerology 7 is the number of intelligence. libra’s act dumb to be funny a lot of the times or sometimes portray themselves in a way that’s not their authentic self because often due to things that occurred in their childhood they are confused about who they really are a lot of the time and don’t have a strong sense of their true identity. this also happens because they tend to mirror others personas that they’re around a lot and forget who they even are (libra’s symbol is the two scales that are identical on both sides). once you peel back the layers you realize it’s all an act. words are very important to pay attention to (li)bra. libra’s lie a lot, even about who they are. i would say this could also apply to gemini’s and pisces in a way

jupiter can tell you about some of the best opportunities you’ll receive in life. jupiter trine mc for example could indicate having amazing career opportunities/gaining lots of success in life. it could even indicate becoming famous

your 9th house can tell the best types of people to surround yourself with in order to have more luck and opportunities in life. if your 9th house sign is gemini then surround yourself with more people that have prominent gemini or 3h placements in their chart

a woman’s venus/rising conjunct a man’s lilith can create an intense fatal attraction (especially from the man to the woman). this reminds me of what people describe to be a twin flame bond actually. intense ups and intense lows, but a strong lustful and intimate connection that’s very hard to let go of. this is because lilith in a man’s chart tends to show the women he craves but knows he shouldn’t have long term and in a woman’s chart lilith is more of a dark placement indicating the challenges of womanhood and being sexualized

lilith in the 1h/5h/10h can indicate being a sex symbol or whatever, sure. that’s what i assume most people want to hear when they ask me about it. however, it is very rough and not glamorous like many think. these people attract so much jealousy and hate. even stalkers at worst. they will simply exist and get so much hate especially the women with this placement. it’s interesting because often in society we see women getting the most attention from men get the most hate from women and these women also often have lots of men sexualizing them and flirting with them (obviously all women do, but these women the most)

the part of fortune in your chart is known to be lucky, but not many talk about how it tells the fortunes that will be fulfilled before you die. if your part of fortune is in the 2nd, 8th, 10th, or 11th house you will be guaranteed to have material success at some point in your life before passing

no planet is all good. even “benefics” aren’t fully beneficial all the time. the universe is yin yang, so there’s good and bad to every planet. however, planets like venus and jupiter do usually provide more benefits than challenges. a negative way venus may manifest is in envy since in greek mythology venus (aphrodite) was a very envious person in relationships. scorpio venus’ for example tend to struggle a lot with being very jealous when dating

unevolved signs tend to be like their opposite signs negative traits. i was discussing this with @cupidlovesastro and we noticed the people who had sagittarius placements in our life that were unevolved were huge complainers and didn’t stop yapping about negative things or were gossipy. yapping a lot and gossiping tend to be negative traits of gemini’s more so than sagittarius’

unevolved cancer placements will never get over you hurting them even slightly. since they’re overly sensitive when unevolved they tend to become obsessed with victimizing themselves in order to make you seem like the bad guy. they will want to make you look bad to everyone so they can receive praise. the evolved cancer placements tend to be more emotionally stable though and use their emotions toward a creative outlet

mercury can also be a lucky planet similar to jupiter since the number correlated to it in numerology is 5. 5 is the second luckiest number. jupiter’s number is 3 which is the luckiest number in numerology

[bambiesfics]

Opposites Attract Theory - Ellie x Bimbo!reader

Ellie was everything you weren’t. She was a girl in brown plaid button ups, who could only find comfort in wearing her father’s oversized chocolate suede jacket.  She could hardly be described as sweet or adorable, not like you were. Ellie was reserved, masculine, angry, and traumatized. Ellie smoked cigarettes to keep her nerves at bay, cut chunks off of the ends of her hair when they got too long and feminine, spent all her money on tattoos if she wasn’t spending it on you, wore old men’s weathered leather shoes, painted her nails with the cheapest black polish just so they could chip on purpose, and tucked her strap into her pants because it just felt right. No more, no less.

All of those descriptions she’d agreed with, but just one word was missing. The word ‘provider.’ The aspect of her character that she prided herself on the most, was being your provider.

  You were her opposite, the light to her shadow. You were naive, sweet, bubbly. Your eyes were big and curious, and you asked every question earnestly. You bounced around in your cute little outfits. Low cut tops with your tits spilling out, dresses where the wind exposed the chub of your ass, and skirts so short they showed your plump little pussy, eating up your g-strings; outfits that made you easy prey for leering. You got your nails done, and showed them off by grabbing Ellie’s thick cock with both hands while sucking hard on her tip. You bent over to pick up dropped items because your acrylics made you clumsy, and squealed when your girlfriend smacked you square on your ass. You got little Brazilian waxes, and sent pictures with a smiley face saying “still a bit sensitive but do you think it looks pretty Els?” And you were shocked that she pounded you into the headboard later that day, until your vagina was puffy. You sat on Ellie’s lap when she beckoned you too, but never quite figured out that it was because she wanted you to feel her erection sandwiched between your ass. You pranced outside in thin little pink shirts that showed the outline of your plump nipples and areola, and started pouting when Ellie draped her jacket on you before she let you step out of her car. 

You pouted about how your girlfriend was “too overprotective” but you were a ditzy, trusting airhead, who had the IQ of a care bear. Ellie didn’t have a choice, you were too stupid for your own good. Too sugary and sweet, sissy and girly. 

  You needed a guy like Ellie to pick up extra shifts for you, so you could go on your little shopping sprees, to buy lip gloss and candy. You needed a guy like Ellie to come everywhere with you, so creepy fucks would know that the pretty little bimbo had a gaurd dog next to her who would snap, snarl and bite them. You needed a guy like Ellie to run her tongue around your little pink hole, twitching and hungry, just to prepare that tiny hole as a warm place for her cock to sink into right after. Her balls often found themselves smacking against the bottom of your puffy neglected clit. You needed a guy like Ellie to indulge your little airhead babble, your piss poor attempt at conversation or even saying a coherent sentence. God knows you could yap for hours and say nothing of note, nothing anyone would perceive as highbrow or thought-provoking, but Ellie loved it. Loved watching those plump pink lips smack together to talk about dumb little girl topics like  “love island” or how “your pinks don’t match” or “beauty guru drama.”

And Ellie loved to indulge that clingy, pouty, needy little attitude you had around her. She’d bounce you up and down her cock, to shush your sniffles after she snapped at you. She’d rubbed your back, and promise to get your nails done just so you’d get overwhelmed with joy and cry “Ellieeee” in her arms, she’d wipe your pouty tears off your cheeks when you couldn’t take her cock all the way down, and tell you that you’ll get so much better after lots n’ lots of practice, she’d let you baby her when she was sick, and pretend that your poorly made chicken soup was the cure for her illness, and not the fever medication she’d been knocking back for the past week, she’d indulge your repetitive airheaded questions like “Ellieee, why can’t we print more money?” and “Ellieee how do you know you can see me? What if you’re you’re just imagining me?,” and she’d let you curl up with her brown jacket at night, cause it smelled exactly like her and brought you comfort in those days she had too many back-to-back shifts and couldn’t stay with you. That jacket was her fathers, so for her to leave it with you, meant that she wanted to take care of you in a way he’d be proud of.

  You were Ellie’s dumb little bimbo doll. Her pink hole to use as a fleshlight, her set of plump lips to watch suction around her dick, her sugary little ditz.

But you were also Ellie’s future wife, the future mother of her kids. The woman who provided the the most gentle balance to Ellie’s rough edges and hard lines, the woman who was her emotion support, her pillar, the grounded rock that she’d cling to during her rapid river emotions. In turn Ellie would be your guard dog, your emotional support, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your husband, your wife, your butch, your provider. She’d be whatever you needed. 

[sunsbaby]

ּ ֶָ֢ heaven above presents

angel !reader . . .

ANGEL!READER showed up at the bunker unannounced, the look on her face showing that of wonder. Eyes shining bright, which to Dean the world almost seemed too big for her. It was easy for her to trust, almost too easy. She fit right in, babbling about heaven and asking questions to both Sam and Dean which had the most obvious answers. She seemed so ditzy, like she might've been a medic upstairs, or even just a wandering angel—they were wrong.

ANGEL!READER was a warrior, albeit she didn't have to look, all pink and frilly. But, she was fierce, cast down to Earth for Heaven's sake. Of course the brothers never knew that for the longest time, not wanting to make her upset by asking questions.

ANGEL!READER is full of everything warm and fuzzy. Hair that always perfectly framed her face, pink somewhere adorning her body. Her nails are always in tip-top-shape, french tips are her go-to. She may have fought many battles, but was innocent to everything else. Her lacey underwear which always peaked overtop her jeans, and the heels on her feet. The purity and innocence that shown in her eyes made Dean's heart ache, not from hurt —but from love. However, lord did she have a way with words. Dean told anyone and everyone despite her appearance she had the mouth of a sailor. Though he adored her, trailing behind his girl like a puppy—keeping her safe, even though she didn't need protection.

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

an 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐒 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒

꒰ stranded feathers ꒱

sunny yaps! HIIII A NEW !READER IS HEREE!! I HOPE U GUYS ENJOYY! (im doing this instead of finishing my drafts 🤫) I LOVE UU ALL!!

𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 ® 𓂃 do not repost or copy my works without permission!!

[stoopidpigeonxx]

Hiiii can you do the crew and their kinks and some smut please!!

yuhyuhyuhyuh~ I can indeed!!

Curly

-listen. Deep down I think this man is a total freak. So he's got some strange ones. -Innocence/corruption kink. he is so turned on by taking a girl (or boy's) virginity. It makes him feel so... above everyone. He's a bit selfish sometimes. But also, because he really wants to take care of someone and give them a great first introduction to sex. He wants you to get so attached to him, that you'll never leave his side. He wants you all to himself. -Pussy worshipping. (I'm getting all of these from wikipedia btw.) More likely just worshiping in general, but definitely centered around your cunt. Like, he will spend hours licking at your clit and eating you out to get you readily prepared for him. Or, he won't even fuck you. Just solely focusing on your pleasure alone. (although.. will probably stroke himself while he goes down on you.) -Face fucking. Deep down, this man is a total sub for this. Like.. if you're a female, he'll let you ride his face 100 percent. If you're a dude, hey, why not. Use his mouth. He doesn't mind. (aslong as you don't make him deepthroat; he's not so good at that.) -Thigh riding/frottage. HUMP. THIS. MAN. he will gladly let you sit on his thigh while he works and let you go to town. He's so obsessed with feeling you lose yourself on him without needing his cock, fingers, or mouth, just purely using his body to get yourself off. Makes him feel like he's perfect for you. <3

Jimmy -okay.. so like... he's freaky. Outwardly freaky. -Bimbofication. Basically... he wants to fuck you stupid. Literally. He wants you dumb and ditzy, constantly thinking about him and his cock. God forbid you think about someone else; that mind of yours belongs to him and him only. -sadism/masochism. He likes to be hurt, and he likes to hurt. Bite him, scratch him, slap him, all that. He loves it. And he does the same thing to you; he is, in no means, vanilla. He will leave you marked up afterwards. He doesn't think sex is fun if it's not rough; he wants it to be exciting and hot, not lame and boring. -Orgasm denial/control. He loves controlling when and how you can get off. Will often ruin your orgasm just to watch you whine and squirm, begging to come. Believes you shouldn't be able to cum as an act of punishment. Mouthing off to him? You aren't allowed to get off today. -degradation. whoooo boy. He is saying the most vile, nasty shit to you during sex. Calling you a slut for taking it, telling you how pathetic you look sucking him off, all that wonderful stuff. Like I said, he's rough. It's rare to get praise or any sort of affection from him, unless you're doing something really good for him.

-Dacryphillia. likes seeing you cry. Maybe in pain, maybe in pleasure. It kinda ties in with his sadism thing a bit.. He likes the fact that he's making you feel so good you're sobbing in pleasure.

Daisuke (Cis daisuke.. sorry yall :-(

he's a young man. He's kinky as hell. (As a fellow 18 year old I get it.) -Praise. For him, and for you. He loves whispering sweet nothings and little bits of praise in your ear when you're taking him just as much as he loves getting praised. Seriously. If you call him a good boy he's willing to do ANYTHING you want. And I mean anything. Will go dog mode. -Pegging. Oh he LOOOOOVES getting the shit fucked out of him by a hot girl with a nice strap. He's afraid its weird since most girls want a man who's on top, but he wants to be dominated. He wants to be taken care of, and be absolutely wrecked at the same time. So fucking him with your strap is the perfect way to make him feel good. -Oral (both receiving and giving.) His favorite form of sex is definitely oral. Going down on someone makes him feel like he's doing something right and making his partner feel good. He likes to believe he's not too shabby; He's got a good tongue on him, exercised by his endless yapping. He loves receiving it too. Huuuuge fan of deepthroat. He will be perfectly satisfied with you sucking him off and won't want anything else. He's also super noisy; moans, grunts, whines, babbling and all of that good stuff. Your mouth is just so perfect and feels so good, he can't help it. -Cock slapping. He's a little bit of a pain junkie. I think he has a lot of piercings, so he's used to a bit of pain. If you're jerking him off and you slap at his dick, he loves it. Whines like a puppy. He also doesn't mind being slapped on the face, ass, chest.. he just likes slapping a bit. Not too hard, though! He can only handle so much! -Creampie. If you're a girl, you need to keep some plan b's around and get on birth control, because he's cumming inside of you almost constantly. He blames it on the fact that he doesn't like the feeling of condoms, but really he just likes watching his cum leak out of you. Makes him feel like he did a good job. Plus, it makes him feel way closer to you, since there isn't any boundary on him. He can feel everything, and he's addicted to the sensation of his cum shooting into you.

Anya

-mommy kink. hear me out.. hear me out y'all... Anya as a Dommy Mommy. I think she'd be all for it. And no, this doesn't have anything to do with her pregnancy and wanting to be a mother, she just likes it. Like, if y'all are fucking and she hears, the word 'mommy' slip past your lips, she leans into it and refers to herself as your Mommy the rest of the night. And will keep doing it. It gives her a sense of control and power that she normally doesn't get. -Tribbing/scissoring. I think she's a hardcore lesbian girl kisser. Sorry but like.. diva is wearing sandals and a striped shirt, with a wolfcut.. she likes WOMEN. So yeah, she likes bumping clits. Especially in a position where she's on top. I feel like she's a service Dom, kinda like Curly is. She's gonna dominate you but she'll be nice about it. Like, missionary with your legs around her so she gets good access. She's not a rough or fast rubber, she likes it slow and sensual. She wants to feel all of the sensations. -Romantic/passionate. She is a sucker for sweet love making. She wants rose petals, kisses, sweet tender treatment. And she wants to give that to you as well. She wants to take it slow and steady with you, figure out what the both of you like and need from eachother.

Swansea -what the fuck is a kink. IM SORRY. I really wanted to write what he would be into but I just... don't see him being that kinky... I'm sorry Swansea lovers i've failed you.

[licorishh]

PLEASE give us some insight into how bo-katan feels after spending one (1) day putting up with ahsoka and rex's reunited shenanigans during the siege of mandalore.

or even just during the trip there if you're really feeling unhinged about them.

(which, me too)

oh my goodness she is so tired. bo-katan is accustomed to the mandalorian way of charging straight in like a bull in a china shop in all matters including affairs of the heart so when she's forced to put up with these absolute nuisances disney channel-ing it up for like 48 hours she is ready to DIP

i'm imagining that on the way there they're chit-chatting and yapping their heads off and bo-katan is like "guys. guys please. can we focus we're about to be dealing with a sith lord y'all can we pl---" and ahsoka's like "yes yes very sad anyway." like when i said "ditzy and enamored" i meant it bro those two have NO shame and bo-katan is actively losing her mind. if she hears another stupid giggle or sees another dumb 👁👁 stare she is going to declare another mando/jedi war

i very much envision it being like a long long long spiel of "no YOU hang up <3"-type nonsense and bo-katan being bo-katan is beginning to seriously consider how bad it would *really* be to just shove them both off a building and get it over with

i also think bo-katan would get some whiplash from ahsoka's behavior because up until they actually leave for mandalore ahsoka is very quiet and serious and sedate and then this Other Guy enters the picture and suddenly she's acting like a ditzy teenager and so too is this Other Guy ?? and she's like ???? cause she is relatively certain she's never seen nor heard of a clone and jedi interacting like this ????? and then she’s like "....oh so THAT'S how it is nah alright i get it"

i like to think this explains the somewhat jarring and abrupt way in which ahsoka and bo-katan part ways in shattered, also

one last thing being that in this one scene in uhh... i think it's old friends not forgotten but it might be phantom apprentice, the one where ahsoka and rex and bo-katan are all talking to obi-wan via holo and then obi-wan's like "ay lemme holler at ahsoka for a minute" and then for like zero reason at all rex looks at ahsoka and he goes like ":3" before walking off and leaving (another one of those things about those four episodes that just makes me think "?? 😭 dude that was so unnecessary how do you expect me to interpret this in ANY other way") and i like to think bo-katan just stared very pointedly at ahsoka after this like "🤨 so we gonna talk about that or no?"

LONG frickin' answer sorry but i just love those four episodes so frickin' much and yes i am so unspeakably unhinged about those two and maul + bo-katan being unwilling/unamused third wheels is immensely entertaining to me

honestly after answering this i am extremely tempted to draft up a quick crack drabble from bo-katan's pov. that would be very very fun

[24kmar]

𝑩𝑼𝑵𝑵𝒀!𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

¤ Bubbly, hyper, clingy. ¤

¤ Bunny!Reader who, is lowkey kind of ditzy. She doesn't do it on purpose, her brain just works a little different than most.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, is super bubbly. She always comes home from parties with atleast 3 friends.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, never runs out of energy. She's like the fucking energizer rabbit, she literally bounces off the walls.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, is too trusting, its her downfall.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, can't read signals. Always getting into trouble cause she can't tell that she's being a little too touchy/friendly.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, has never had to work for anything in life. Her parents always had her covered. Sigh.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, is very clingy. She wants to be in your lap, hugging you, cuddling, she wants to be in your skin.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, is a pillow princess. Even tho she has alot of energy, she'll do whatever she's told which usually is just her sitting pretty & enjoying the show. She has a tank load of energy though so she can go for a good amount of rounds.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, is a huge blabber mouth. Since she can't read signals she can't figure out when to stop yapping.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, unfortunately forgives too easy. It goes hand in hand with her being to trusting, she'll believe you're sorry too easy.

¤ Bunny!Reader who, can be a brat at times but can very easily be tamed.

[ditzybat]

Hi! I saw that you had an idea where Tim sees Lady Shiva as a mother-figure and have not been able to stop thinking about it since. Do you have any more thoughts on that?

I have many thoughts on this particular head canon!

This mostly stems from the idea that Janet Drake and Lady Shiva have similar personalities, and therefore when Tim met Shiva he imprinted onto her like a baby duckling (pun intended).

A contributing factor to this is also their mentorship/partnership!

Tim and Shiva’s relationship is increasingly complicated. She’s trained him and they grew a partnership of mutual respect and were seen as equals for the period of time Tim spent in Paris (6 months.) And they were generally amicable until he killed her while under the influence of enhanced drugs due to her interference and desire to be killed by someone better than herself.

Because of that last little tidbit I like to think that Shiva views Tim as someone who has the potential to surpass her and therefore like a son (much like a twisted version of Cass and hers antagonistic fueled relationship). While on the flip side, Within the year that they met, Tim has interacted more with a woman who is startling similar to his very scary mother, than his own mother who would rather send him to private school than raise him herself while she travels. And much like Cass he believes Shiva’s perspective to be flawed. But at the same time, respects Shiva for her fighting prowess.

I also really like the Fanon of Shiva wanting to be a good mother, and laying claim to both Cass and Tim as her blood in front of Bruce to both mess with him and to somewhat apologize for her behavior towards them but not quite quitting killing.

And I really love the idea of Tim fighting Shiva one day, and then the next having tea with her while gossiping, in place of his actual mother who kicks the bucket not long after they meet.

[strnilolover]

do you think ditzy!reader and adhd!reader would be friends if ditzy dated chris and adhd dated matt?

honestly i’d say yeah. they both have similar traits that would make them good friends, and they would both listen and yap to one another about anything and everything. Angel (ditsy) would talk about her books while adhd!reader (she needs a nickname/pet name) would talk about her writing and that’s something they would bond over. they’re also both pretty forgetful, so don’t try asking them abt anything cause they could NOT tell you lmao

[reverieblondie]

For the WIP folder "People send an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then you post a snippet or tell them something about it!"

Ok.... ok.... look at this list I am of course drawn to Cal x Lae'zel part 3 and dark prince Rolan chapter 4.... but the ones you could share a little on if you wanted.... how about Help Wanted and Healing You 👀

Gray because i love you I will share about all 4.

Cal X Lae'zel (the final part to the mini series) I have it written just waiting to edit it but they are finally going to get some piece where they can finally examine their feelings towards one another. we will also see what others think of them...

Dark prince Rolan chapter 4 still in the works (sorry!) but all I will say is we will get to see more incite on how Rolan feels about his new bride...

Help wanted I was asked about already, but pretty much Rolan hires a maid... and shes alot more helpful than he thought and she... well she thinks the archemage is just so refined. They are going to look so stupid when they are obvious in love and they are doing nothing about it.

Healing you is a bucky fic, I don't think that's in your ally but to give a brief description a grump is bleeding in a ally way and a ditzy nurse takes him home and stitches him up.

Hope these interest you! I'm always willing to yap about my WIPS!

[heyiwrotesomethings]

rivals to lovers spy x family, yor x female assassin reader

where your got captured by a gang during a mission she had and the reader is contacted by yors supervisors/colleague cuz she is one of the best and goes and rescues her.

An Assassin’s Rescue Mission

Yor Briar x She/Her Reader

A/N: These two requests are a bit different than I initially thought, but I think I still managed to mix the important bits together. Not really any angst though. Hope you still like it, thanks for reading! Word Count: 2,690

“What did you just say?” (Y/n)’s back went rigid and her hands clasped together tightly behind her back.

“The Thorn Princess has been captured after carrying out a hit on a rather influential business crook. We need you to retrieve her. Make sure she gets back in one piece. She is the best assassin we have at our disposal… no offense.”

(Y/n) snarled at that. There Yor goes again. Even when she gets herself captured she’s still considered the best of the Garden.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, sir, but assassins don’t really do rescue missions. We endanger, execute. Find somebody else.”

“Like who, the police? You’ve been to that part of the city outskirts several times. You are the best shot we have. God knows it may already be too late, but we still owe it to her to try—“

“You mean you don’t know her condition? There hasn’t been any correspondence for some kind of deal?” She didn’t wait for an answer before continuing on, “Then why the hell are we wasting time yapping here? Get me my throwing knives! Where is my gun? Keys? I need a damn car!”

The cultivator who had been sitting in on the briefing groaned quietly and covered his eyes with one hand. He had been the one to train Yor and (Y/n) from quite a young age, and they both grew into impressive assassins, but where Yor was rather sweet and well-mannered, albeit a bit ditzy, (Y/n) was more hot-headed, bitter, but as sharp as her knives. She sent potential clients running for the hills with her intensity.

As much as (Y/n) perpetuated that she and Yor were sworn enemies, it was kind of hard to keep up appearances when Yor was too sweet and clueless to realize that there was supposed to be a rivalry going on. She probably couldn’t have driven (Y/n) crazier if she tried to do so intentionally.

And yet despite this, (Y/n) was quick to go rescue her now because like it or not, the Thorn Princess’ vines had weaved around her heart and the little thorns kept it from escaping her grasp. She was much too prideful to admit anything, but for as much as (Y/n) claimed to be unable to stand the other assassin, she sure let her take up a lot of free real estate in her mind at any given moment.

She was also the only one allowed to give Yor a hard time, not that Yor really noticed. But if someone else tried to speak ill of her, (Y/n) was on them in a second. Yor was her rival, and that meant only she had the license to be snarky and knit picky when it came to Yor.

“Come on, hurry up! Do you want me to rescue her or not?” (Y/n) snatched the keys from the cultivator’s coat pocket and chose to skip the stairs and jump right out of the window. She tumbled through the dewy grass below, ran to the sleek black car pulled up to the curb and got in, slamming the door behind her. As soon as the engine roared to life, she tore down the road and quickly vanished from sight.

“I just got that car yesterday…” The cultivator sighed. Hopefully he’d get it back in one piece.

***

Yor flexed her wrists against the metal cuffs, but it only served to make her skin raw. She had really gotten herself into a pickle this time. If only it was rope, she was pretty good at snapping rope. Not as easy as snapping the neck of that shady business man had been, but still.

She shouldn’t have let her guard down like that. (Y/n) would scold her for sure… if she ever got to see her again, anyway. The thought made Yor’s shoulders slump. No one had helped her adjust to the assassin life like (Y/n) did. She didn’t know what she would do without her cute, grumpy face greeting her in the Garden or the occasional mission. But at least she was safe. Yor didn’t know what she’d do if their positions were swapped. There would definitely be hell to pay, of that much she was certain.

At present she wasn’t sure what was to become of her. Since she was detained, she had only been visited by her captors once for a little bit of water. They hadn’t spoken to her at all. Whether this was going to turn out to be a negotiation or an execution, Yor didn’t know.

Her stomach rumbled for the ninth time that night and she sighed pitifully. Wasn’t it custom to get a last meal before an execution? Although, this was a group of angry underground criminals whose paychecks were frozen after she had killed their boss. She would be rather cross too, she supposed.

“Excuse me,” She called out, “is anyone there? I know you are probably upset with me, but could I trouble you for a little something to eat? I haven’t eaten in—“

She heard a heavy thud against the reinforced door of the bare room she had been chained within and she frowned. If they didn’t want her to talk, perhaps they should have gagged her. Though she was thankful they hadn’t.

But then she heard the heavy click of the door being unlocked and she tensed. If she was going out, she would be going out fighting! However, instead of one of the rugged men who had ushered her into the room at gun point, she saw (Y/n) push the door open. Ring of keys in one hand, a sleek knife in the other and a dead man at her feet.

“(Y/n)!” Yor gasped, “What are you doing here?”

“Keep your voice down! What’s it look like I’m doing, Briar? I’m busting you out, dumbass.” (Y/n) hissed, quickly maneuvering behind Yor to test every key on the ring for one that would free Yor’s hands from the awkward position in which they had been cuffed to the wall.

She had to be quick, it was only a matter of time before one of the bodies she had hurriedly stuffed in the dark corners along the way here were discovered. There were more people in this hideout than she would like to deal with. She still took the time to scold Yor as she worked, however.

“I can’t believe you let yourself get caught! You are so lucky I came to rescue your sorry ass. I don’t care what the higher-ups think. This incident definitely makes me the better assassin.”

“I know,” Yor pouted, but for only a moment before smiling sweetly, “thank you for coming for me, (Y/n). You are too kind. You are always looking out for me.”

“Yeah, whatever,” finally the cuffs fell free, “Now let’s get the hell out of here before those goons discover us. Here,”

Yor quickly finished rubbing her wrists in time to receive the sleek, gold ice picks being shoved at her and her eyes practically sparkled. She thought if she ever got out of this place, she’d have to get new ones made. (Y/n) had found a guy using the needles as chopsticks as she weaved through the hideout. Needless to say, that hadn’t ended well for him.

They stealthily checked either end of the hallway before sneaking out in the opposite direction (Y/n) had come from. (Y/n) had observed that the goons seemed to patrol in a clockwise fashion, so it would make sense to keep following the flow where the people (Y/n) had already taken out were supposed to be.

“Come on, stay light on your feet.”

Though Yor was doing a perfectly fine job of keeping up with (Y/n), the other assassin pulled her long by the hand. The contact gave Yor butterflies.

“Shouldn’t be much further—“

“There they are! Stop them!”

“Damn it!”

(Y/n) shoved herself and Yor around the corner, narrowly missing the spray of bullets that came speeding towards them. They skidded to a halt when they heard shouts coming from the direction they were heading. (Y/n)’s presence had been discovered and now they were being surrounded!

“What should we do?” Yor asked.

“Get in that room and cover your ears!” (Y/n) ordered, taking out a small explosive and slapping it to the opposite outer wall before joining Yor in the room and slamming the door shut.

3… 2… bang!

The bomb detonated, and (Y/n) wasted no time pulling Yor through the debris though the smoke stung their eyes and throat. But once they had made it out to the misty, cold night air, their irritation from the explosion started to soothe over. The explosion had taken out a few of the men that led the pack, but more were quick to take their places, guns blazing.

“Get out of here, I’ll make sure you can make a clean get away. I parked behind those bushes over there.” (Y/n) shoved the car keys at Yor’s chest and made a move to turn back around to deal with the mob, but Yor caught her arm and held on with an almost painful grip.

“You can’t go back. Who knows what they’ll do to you. Just keep running! We can escape together!”

“Don’t argue with me, just go! Despite what everyone else thinks, I know I’m a better assassin than you. Besides, notice how weak the gun fire has gotten? Those idiots are almost out of bullets anyway. I got this.” She twisted her arm out of Yor’s grasp and ran back into the fray, throwing knives into the vital points of several underlings as she ran.

“(Y/n), wait!” Yor bit her lip anxiously and looked between (Y/n) and the bushes where the car was.

She should probably listen to (Y/n) and go to the car, right? But she couldn’t make herself look away much less run away.

(Y/n) was doing well holding off the mob on her own, yet Yor still worried. Then she saw a bullet graze (Y/n)’s arm. The assassin winced and blood flowed freely, but she kept fighting, albeit a bit sloppier, and that cemented Yor’s final decision.

Blood red fury coursed through her veins and she gripped her needles tightly in knuckle-white clenched fists. Yor would paint the streets red with the blood of whoever dared to make (Y/n) bleed those few precious streams that now darkened her torn clothes.

“Hey, I said go! Get out of here!” (Y/n) yelled whilst slashing another throat with her non-dominant hand.

But Yor did not retreat, nor hesitate in carving a path straight to her. She had never seen such hellfire in Yor’s eyes. It made a chill run up and down her spine, not that she would ever admit that Yor could be intimidating in any way.

“Don’t you touch her!” Yor growled, snatching the arm of a man who had run out of bullets as his comrades before him. He had clearly intended to pistol whip the back of (Y/n)’s head, but Yor would have none of that. One wound on (Y/n) was already one too many in her opinion.

The man screamed as Yor contorted his arm into an unnatural position and with an awful crack, he fell to the ground. With one swift stab to the back of his head, he was permanently taken care of.

Then Yor really let loose. It was a a hurricane of blood, no survivors save herself and the woman she sought to protect. (Y/n) wasn’t even sure were her own blood ended and the blood of her enemies began.

“Good god, Yor,” (Y/n) whispered, looking out upon their combined carnage, but mostly at the particularly gruesome ones contributed by Yor.

“I,” Yor took in a deep breath, “I may have gone a little overboard with some of those.” She swallowed uncomfortably.

Would (Y/n) be frightened of her because of this? Even by assassin standards, these were some gnarly corpses. If (Y/n) began treating her differently because of this, that might just break Yor’s heart.

“Ah!” Yor brought a hand to her stinging nose, then she looked to (Y/n), surprised by being flicked from so out of the blue.

“I told you I had it, but you just had to show off, didn’t you? Geez, this was my rescue mission, you were the one who was in trouble, not me!”

Yor blinked owlishly, then gave a slight smile, “Sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just get the hell out of here. You’re probably starving right? I guess I’ll have to make you something at my place given how dawn hasn’t even broke yet. Everyone knows you can’t cook for shit.”

“Thank you, (Y/n) that’s really nice of you, but you should let me tend to that wound first. Doesn’t it hurt?”

“It’s just a scratch.“ (Y/n) puffed her chest, “You should see what I did to the other guy!”

Yor giggled, but (Y/n)’s energy was not enough to convince her. As soon as they got to the car, Yor found a medkit in the trunk and put it to good use, though she did make a mess of the hydrogen peroxide and the bandages, spilling them all over the trunk. Given all that had gone down, the cultivator’s car could have suffered a lot worse than a couple bloody bandages soaked in H2O2 left in the trunk.

“Thanks.” (Y/n) begrudgingly mumbled when Yor finished up.

Yor joined her where she sat on the edge of the trunk and gave her a hug, eyes shut tight.

“I’m so glad you’re going to be okay.”

“Hey, do I need to remind you again that this was my rescue mission to save you? That should be my line. So,” she cleared her throat, eyes looking to the side down at the damp grass, “I’m glad you are okay too.”

Yor hummed happily and hugged her just a bit tighter.

“But if you ever let yourself get caught again, so help me I’ll make you my prisoner instead. At least then I’ll know exactly where you are.”

“Do you think we should move in together?” Yor wondered. That would make it easier on (Y/n) somehow, wouldn’t it? In any case, Yor knew for sure that she would enjoy waking up and getting to see her every day.

“That’s not what I was saying at all!” (Y/n) spluttered, but then mumbled, “But I guess I wouldn’t be opposed. Just don’t burn my kitchen down.”

“I won’t, I promise. This is so exciting!”

At that moment, Yor’s stomach chose to growl again. She pressed her hands over her abdomen and blushed. (Y/n) snickered.

“Alright, you driving or not? We have to get some food in you.”

“I’ll drive!” Yor scooped (Y/n) up from where she sat on the edge of the trunk and brought her around to the passenger seat.

“Hey! Put me down, a bullet just grazed my arm. I can walk ten feet.”

“I want to keep you safe too, (Y/n).” Yor replied, “You’re important to me.”

(Y/n) saw the boundless sincerity in Yor’s eyes and swallowed thickly, sinking further into the seat to try to put a little more distance between them. Even she, with her own special brand of cluelessness compared to Yor’s, couldn’t deny that those gentle words did something to her.

It would still take some time for her to admit it, but she was starting to get on the right track. They both were.

Yor wasn’t exactly a smooth driver, but they made it to (Y/n)’s apartment in one piece. First things first, they made either a super late dinner or an extra early breakfast depending on how you looked at it, to combat their hunger. Being on the other end of a massacre was hungry work after all.

Yor helped with food prep, but (Y/n) ultimately cooked it all. Then they took turns getting cleaned off before putting their feet up and laying back against the couch. They ended up falling asleep together, tangled atop the piece of furniture too narrow for two people, but that was only because the night had been so exhausting… or so (Y/n) pretended to reason as she nuzzled closer.

[agerefandomstuff]

cg!butcher x little!readerrrr??? mayb reader is like a rlly ditzy bimbo and butcher kinda loathes them for it but reader regresses in front of him accidentally nd he kinda takes care of them n learns to love themmm >_<

Title: Clumsy Lil Idiot

Word Count: 1648

Description: Butcher doesn't know why he puts up with you. You're so... so stupid. Pretty, sure. But stupid. Yet he still finds himself taking care of you. Maybe it's because you're a light in his dark balmy life. or maybe it's cause he's worried one of these times those stairs are gonna finally actually take you out.

CW: the boys, scraped knees, mentions of drug use and weapons

A/N: Idiot is wrote with love every single time.

“You are the biggest, clumsiest idiot I've ever met.” Butcher grumbled out picking you up off the floor where you’d tripped and fallen, claiming you'd forgotten the last step was still broken even though you tripped over it every. Single. Damn. time. 

He’d believed it the first few times. That you hadn't been looking, you hadn't seen it, your heels were too high, the information had simply slipped your mind with everything else going on… on and on. He came up with excuses for you or tried to accept the reasons you gave for why your ass landed sprawled out on the floor with a new bruise or scrape or hell–that one time you had even given yourself a bloody nose. Which should’ve reminded you well enough about that bloody step!

But no. Now he knew better.

You were an idiot.

A true and whole hearted idiot.

Who never watched where she was going and only survived this messed up, dangerous world by sheer luck and beauty.

And your beauty was truly one of the last things that was keeping him from snapping and banning you from following him around like one of those pampered shiny coat rat dogs that never learned to stop yapping because its dumbass owner never told you to shut up. 

He was old, tired, and didn’t have the time to be babysitting another greenie besides Hughie when he was so focused on his missions. Yet here he found himself picking you up off the floor again and hauling you to the bathroom to patch up your knees while you blabbered on another excuse he'd liked heard a hundred times by now. 

He hoisted you up by your waist onto the counter, a routine you were familiar enough with to know just when to give enough of a jump to help his aching old man muscles get you up there and you’d stashed your own preferred bandaids in the medkit. The medkit Frenchie bought specifically for you that you both decorated with stickers that Kimiko also added little cute doodles on. 

“Can I have the Starlight bandaids today?” You asked him, peeking into the little container as he pulled out the alcohol wipes and neosporin. 

“Y’outta them ones.” He grumbled, hating that he knew that without having to look.

You pouted slightly, frustrated you couldn't wear the bandaids you originally wanted. You liked wearing those ones when you knew you'd see Annie but they didn't make that design anymore since they got discontinued after… well. Everything that had happened with her.

You usually wouldn't get as upset over that as you felt now but.. Something was nagging in the back of your mind. Trying to ignore it, you settled for the second best option, “What about the pink rainbows?”

“Aye. Now stop swingin yer legs so I can clean em.” he brought down an alcohol wipe and began to clean your left knee first, not being very graceful as he did since he wouldn't usually even clean scrapes this minor on anyone but you’d complained enough that he’d been forced to learn how you preferred things. You suck in a breath of air at the stinging pain from the alcohol, whining quietly when he repeats the action to the second knee.

“Owww…” you complained, giving him a look that he promptly ignored in favor of wiping the goopy medicine over your knees. “Remember! Pink rainbows bandaids. Not the first one you grab. It has to be the pink rainbows today.”

Y’know… you weren’t a supe but sometimes he still wondered if you weren't sent straight to him from Vought’s lab as his own genetically engineered demon, meant to deter him from getting anything done by just inconveniencing him to death.

Once he was finally done putting all four pink rainbow bandaids on your knees you weren't complaining anymore, giggling quietly instead as you watched him take care of your boo-boos.

“Can you kiss them too? To make the ouchies better?” you hadn't ever asked him that before but.. He was already at knee level and did just about everything else you asked him to with your evil stair injuries.

“Do I look like a man that wants t’kiss your oozing cuts?” he grabbed your hand, tugging slightly to make you hop down but you didn't let go once you were down. Instead getting distracted by the way your skirt had bounced when you did. 

“You make them sound icky! They're just scrapes.” you argued, bouncing in place while still holding his hand trying to make your skirt bounce with you again. 

“If they're just scrapes y’wouldn't need some cheap lil kids’ plasters fer em eve’y day, now wouldja?” he watched with mild annoyance as you bounced around like an energetic little kid and giggled at… he had no idea. He had no clue what went on in your mind. He could only imagine it was like taking acid after getting a lobotomy. Weird colorful shit with no thoughts.

He sighed and rolled his eyes at your actions, moving to leave the bathroom whether you let go of his hand or not wasn’t the problem. Honestly it probably would almost be safer if he kept a hold of it in case you tripped again. Maybe then he could catch you before he’d have to fix you back up again today.

Your gaze lifted as you felt his hand tighten around yours and tug again, encouraging you to follow after him. With a happy little skip in your step. You just felt light enough that it felt right! Skipping and bouncing and giggling and holding his hand all felt right.

“Butcher, can I have a snack?”

“Y’think we keep snacks down ‘ere? Where? With the arse bombs or the anti-supe chems?”

“Well.. Frenchie always seems to be chewing on something.”

“Yeah. Cause he’s high. Fiend’s prolly got himself a pacifier ‘round ‘ere t’keep from grinding his teeth right down t’he’s gums.”

“A pacifier? Like a binky.. for babies?”

“Sure.”

“I have a binky too!” you proudly tell him, excited at the idea of sharing something in common with Frenchie. But Butcher didn't seem to share your enthusiasm, stopping dead in his tracks and looking at you with that kind of scary hard to read look he sometimes gave you when you said something really stupid.

“What could you possibly need a soother for? Actually… You know what I just remembered? I don't give a rat’s ass. Y’probably still suck your thumb n’ play with bath toys. Yer just that childish.”

He turned back around and kept walking, hardly leaving you any time to think about what he said before he’d stopped by the worn out couch to sit you down in hopes that you might stay put while he went to check on the others. Sticking with his comment he grabs a doll M.M. had just bought to repaint or something as an addition to the doll house he’d been consumed with, and hands it to you.

“‘ere. Pop this open and play with it till I’m back. Kay? Dontchu leave this area. I don't want to see y’go past this table, not a pigtail, a finger, not a tush. None of it.”

You look at the boxed doll with surprise at first, holding it like you weren't sure exactly what to do with it but then you really looked at it. And ohhhh man. That doll was calling your name.

A smile slowly broke out on your face as you broke the doll out of its confines. It was so pretty! It had curly hair and beautiful dark skin with roller skates with wheels that actually spun!! She came with a dog, a hairbrush, and extra clothes that made you squeal out of excitement.

Very quickly you’d become inraptured with your own game, having taken things off the coffee table to make makeshift scenes and places for your doll to go along with using a magazine to add more characters by tearing out parts of pages that had people. You were so invested in your play that you had yet to notice Butcher had come back after almost an hour, a small plate in hand of sliced bananas and apples with peanut butter.

He stood there for a while, watching you speak on behalf of the doll and paper people, giggling and squealing as you made them do different things. He should've been surprised by the sight. But as it is with the stairs. He simply wasn't surprised by your actions anymore. If anything he was relieved you’d listened to him. He’d shoplift you a hundred dolls if it meant he knew you'd happily stay put without getting injured by following him everywhere. Because when it came down to it. No matter how much you annoyed him he wanted you safe. There weren't many things around him that remain untouched by devastation.

And here you were. Proving how… pure and innocent you can be.

Butcher sets the plate on the coffee table without a word, stepping over your little world to crash onto the couch. He’d be content to simply sit here for a while and watch you play. 

“Butcher look! Her name is Tisha and she's going to the party with Tom but Tom already promised Andrea he was taking her to the party!”

“That so? They gonna have t’brawl it out behind the pub over the stupid bloke?”

“They're gonna beat him up for two-timing them! Then they're gonna turn into fairies and–” you rambled on about your made up story, butcher adding in his two cents when necessary and leaning down to feed you an apple slice once in a while. He knew you’d been peckish after all and he needed to keep your energy up so he would be able to learn all of the lore of this world afterall.