#dissociation explained

[clever-and-unique-name]

A simplified version of the thing I feel like goes on in my brain.

Blank version under the readmore if you want to be a bit silly+introspective with your own "settings"

[million-with-a-b]

how is DID the most subtle yet obvious disorder ever

[lokilysolbitch]

y'all know when someone keeps talking about their "quirky" childhood and adult habits but it's just like. textbook examples of a complex dissociative disorder. but you can't just be like "maybe you're a system" bc that could freak them out way too much all at once.

or you'll offhandedly mention a Uniquely System Specific Experience and they go "wait i relate to that lol. it must be from my depression/anxiety/etc" like. uhmmmm. not quite, not quite. time loss and seeing people in your head that grow and change independently of you is not uh,,,,,,,,,i don't think that's anxiety uh,,,,,,,,

[interstellarchaosss]

Pertaining to the last ask, to your friends, what does a person like them notice when a system (like you) is switching alters/headmates?

Some answers from our partner:

- Voice changes, pitch, tone, way of speaking. Even when masking there are tells like pauses between words, or different words used, or pronounciation of words (like the brits pronouncing words brit-way and Mahito's "t"s).

(Mahito's "t"s referring to Mahito pronouncing his t's very harshly in most words.) Some of us speak with more energy even when masking (like Red) or much less (like Dain).

Some people (Soul, Vince) use words like "quite" much more often than others. There's other vocabulary differences like that.

- Ways of moving. Different way you sit, different ways you walk, how much you trip, some people (Merlin) act like they've never had legs before.

We've been told by others that Crowley walks with a "smug aura" and that Vena walks "like a businessman". I think a friend once said Vince has a "overly confident straight male" walk.

Shrapnel and Onslaught are known to sit as spread out as possible (subconsciously, they aren't deliberate about it)--to the point where Onslaught's girlfriend has to remind him. Onslaught and Heart tend to put their feet up where possible. Dain tends to sit making himself as small as possible.

Some people need our cane more often than others because they're worse at walking--Merlin, Mystery, Fin, Mike, etc.

What foods/drinks you go for.

Vince and Shrapnel both have different regular cafes they prefer to go to--Shrapnel having specific drink orders as well. Merlin is known to mainly go for fruits and berries if he can get his hands on them, while Shrapnel and Rave normally go for something spicy.

So.... In the end, it's a lot of small patterns people can notice that might seem like regular day-to-day differences. After all, someone pronouncing things a little weirdly and wanting to go to a specific cafe one day doesn't make them a system! But sometimes, those things happen because of a system. But because differences in routine and life are part of being a person in general, there's not really that much of a line between "singlet who wants to go to this store for a change" and "this headmate really only likes this one specific store and fronted for the first time in 6 months". That's why it's hard to identify a system unless they tell you, in a lot of cases--if you can't see what's going on internally, differences are easy to brush off!

[bunnidid-reviews]

Mini DID book review: One Of Us Knows: a thriller

Author: Alyssa Cole

Publication date: 2024

Diagnosis of DID? Yes, the system has known for a while

Fiction of nonfiction: fiction

Is the person with DID portrayed as evil? Complicated but ultimately no; its one of the major plot points

Major trigger warnings:

death (fighting, blood, some gore but its not described much)

implied sexual assault (nothing described)

Self harm

Misogyny(major plot point)

Abelism

Racism (major plot point also)

Stalking

Kidnapping/mishandled foster care

Dormancy of parts (major plot point)

Parts being kidnapped/speculated to be killed off (major plot point)

Rituals taking place (not religious but has to do with everything on this list)

Covid being a thing(major plot point in the first part, lots of anxiety about covid)

Ratings to how I feel personally

Triggering(0 is nothing at all, 10 is could not handle reading this): 4-5 (not a gentle book but not gratuitous

System dynamics(0 is this is bizarrely off, 10 is holy shit this is a book about me): 7-8 (the conflict between parts is very well written, and so is the understanding of how deep the relationships go)

Switching(0 is doesnt work like this, 10 is this is a book about me): 4? (Nearly all of the switches are blackouts)

System communication(0 is never experienced this, 10 is this is a book about me): 8-9 (we talk to eachother like this a lot)

Inner world dynamics(0 is never experienced this, 10 is this is a book about me): 7 (theres a lot of the inner world, like half the chapters happen inside! However the physics of it were a little too realistic at times to what could happen with me, like i dont have to walk or run to get places personally)

Comorbidity with other disorders(mental or physical)(0 is there are none, 10 is i experience all of this): 5 (there is no physical ailments that come with having DID in this book, which isnt a necessity but many people who do have it also have disabilities so it feels bizzare when there are none. Theres anxiety, depression and faint mentions of disordered eating in this book)

Brief thoughts on this book:

The BadDay system(first book ive read where the system has a system name) has been well-established for many years by now, knowing about their DID, communicating with their others for some time.

The host turned persecutor has been dormant for 6 years now, missing out on covid, while the rest of the system had been active online and functioning in lockdown. Now Ken(the persecutor) is back, with the mysterious disapearence of the previous host and caretaker, Della. All eyes are on Ken wondering what the fuck happened and nobody knows how they landed a job as a caretaker of a mysterious castle on an island, that just happens to be the exact same castle from their inner world.

Mystery and thrilling things ensue as Ken goes through the motions of coming out of dormancy and no parts wanting them there, a blossoming romance with an outsider and a complicated romance on the inside too, all tied together neatly with the strange happenings on the island and the trust that owns it.

I don’t really know how to review for a thriller book, because I don’t tend to read thrillers. But the mysteries were mysterious to even me, who can see where plots are going with DID books typically. And the thrills were thrilling. I couldn’t put the book down, I kept wanting to sink in more and more

I was exceptionally pleased that the author didn’t play safe with the DID as some authors tend to when they’re writing something with modern understanding. There wasnt so much shameful secrecy around the disorder, and the questions and impacts were hard-hitting as she delved into things that I’d be worried about posting about myself. Like the dormancies impacting other parts, parts not wanting the host around. Romance and sexuality between parts. The unsavory and the honest, but also the depth of how much each of them mattered in the system and how much they cared for eachother. It was really satisfying to read! The inclusion of how social media effects people with DID nowadays was really nice to include too, and again, I haven’t yet seen any other media to employ the use of system names like how many do in social media now.

I also really really love that the story was just as much the inner world as it was the outer, as most books have the happenings between parts more hidden.. Having the two stories run side by side makes it feel like this characters life is their DID, as it often is for many of us. Idk I’m jazzed about this, this is what I wanted with DID in media. The DID actually mattering as more than a plot device

The only thing I can really fault it on is the constant blackout with switches. But to be fair, this is implied not to be their normal, and ethe events of this book are extremely high-stress situations, so I appreciate that the weight of that is stressed rather than it being another case of an author just not having personal experience enough to know. (She doesnt have the experience to know, but this was a neat way to bridge the gap)

Overall a great book. Not a fluffy one, and since the main plot revolves around the potential of the main character being the DID Killer, inside and out. So please tread carefully if the questioning of such things is hard for you. And also a thriller, so there are thriller things like violence and tension and things outside of a normal slice of life

Would I recommend someone with DID read this? YES! I do feel like this was written with a lot of care for people with DID

[one-voice-of-many]

hi, uh, do you guys think you could draw what disassociating feels like? /nf

I hope that's okay, just so we can visualise it for non-sys friends? w/ credit of course!!

Of course I can!

Disclaimer for anyone else seeing this, dissociation can happen outside of DID and if you find anything below relatable I’d recommend looking into dissociation!

[blackoutsys]

realizing that my instinct to withdraw the moment anything i post on here gets attention is probably because i feel isolated from other systems and so posting about my own experience is a Daunting Task:tm:

because i feel like us talking about the fact we:

don't switch often [maybe like. twice a year at MOST outside of extremely unusual circumstances]

kiiiinda share memories [there's definitely blankspots and they DO exist but it's relatively cohesive]

rarely if ever hear the others [and when we do it's only a few words]

just feels incredibly alienating and not like the "Typical System On Tumblr Experience:tm:"

[itsallhoney]

dare: an analysis through samia's discography

"i think you wanted me to feel it" — dare // lizard // fit n full // pants

"because you know that we're the same" — dare // north poles

"adorned in vacancy and staring blankly" — dare // fit n full // dream song

[gn-bee]

KNY Accurate Ume-

At least, a hearty attempt.

I'm not very good at replicating styles, so I'm glad I finally had the willpower and patience (and many many references) to do this, because I've been wanting to for a long time.

Along with some silly taishou rumors/secrets!

This was fun for me, I'd like to do more stuff like this.

[pdid-culture-is]

P-DID culture is I don’t want to tell my system friends because they have full switches and amnesia barriers and stuff.

Furthest I get is being put in the passenger seat. I’m stil here. Always. That’s how I like to describe it, “front” is like a car. I’m usually driving sometimes there’d someone in the passenger seat, usually they chill sometimes they yell directions.

- could I be 🌷🐍 anon?

.

[porcelain-pines]

Dolly brain tour

[molsno]

in case you're wondering about the whole plurality situation, here's something one of my alters said completely genuinely today, presented without context:

[bewyldered]

time is but a construct when you're stressed out of your mind .

[carrionhearted]

Thought too hard about I Saw The TV Glow and started crying what did they put in that film

[one-voice-of-many]

Splitting is no stranger to those with DID, but I hope this helps someone out there understand this disorder a little better

[misanthropicgardener]

I feel like a thing i kind of struggle to articulate or understand or get people to understand is that genuinely when i think about who “i” was a two years ago, four years ago, etc is genuinely a different person. and i think people sometimes take that as meaning “oh there has been a lot of change since then” but no it genuinely feels entirely like thinking about a different person/fictional or like someone else was inhabiting the body for a while. Because i guess if big stressful things happen or big events in general, i sort of still carry that but it also feels like that didn’t happen to me as i am now. If that makes sense. Does anyone know what i mean