#dismissing lesbian voices

[vaugarde]

Stereotypes are definitely something that people should be mindful of to make sure they aren't being mocking or dehumanizing towards minorities, but like, at this point I'm just like "as long as thats not your only character from the minority or you arent mocking them then whatever" towards a good amount of them like idk mean lesbian characters compared to "This character is the most oppressed man to ever exist because he has a close male friend and everyone thinks he's gay but he's NOT :( He has a wife and kids why cant you just let men have FRIENDS!!!"

[poisonoyous]

Misandry isn’t real but by god I’m trying 💖

[that-butch-archivist]

"Every time I speak at a lesbian-feminist gathering, I introduce myself as a femme who came out in the 1950s. I do this because it is the truth and it allows me to pay historical homage to my lesbian time and place, to the women who have slipped away, yet whose voices I still hear and whose V-necked sweaters and shiny loafers I still see. I do it to call up the women I would see shopping with their lovers in the Lower East Side supermarkets, the femme partners of the butch women who worked as waiters in the Club 82. I remember how unflinchingly the femme absorbed the stares of the other customers as she gently held onto the arm of her partner. Butches were known by their appearance, femmes by their choices. I do it in the name of the wives of passing women whose faces look up at me from old newspaper clippings, the women whom reporters described as the decieved ones and yet whose histories suggest much more complicated choices. And if femmes seemed to be "wives" of passing women, the feminine protectors of the couple's propriety, it was so easy to lose curiosity about what made them sexual heretics, because they looked like women. Thus femmes became the victims of a double dismissal: in the past they did not appear culturally different enough from heterosexual women to be seen as breaking gender taboos, and today they do not appear feminist enough, even in their historical context, to merit attention or respect for being ground-breaking women."

- An excerpt from "The Femme Question," written by Joan Nestle and found in The Persistent Desire: A Butch-Femme Reader. (Emphasis in bold my own.)

[xxxdreamscapexxx]

Face the consequences

Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Word count: 9k

Summary: This is the second part of "Consequences" that many of you requested.

On the second day of your stay with your parents, your mother invites you and Wanda to a day out and you decide to use it as an opportunity to tease your girlfriend and push her buttons, resulting in a lesson you won't soon forget.

Warning: NSFW, 18+, lesbian relationship, oral, fingering, magic use, magical restraints, finger sucking, use of butt plug, pearl underwear, edging, ruined orgasms, pussy spanking, Mommy!Kink, top!Wanda, Bottom!Reader

This is a fic for all the people who asked me to be mean. I hope this will give you a glimpse of what that might look like.

Masterlist with all my works.

Waking up this morning, you felt pretty good. Sure, you wanted to sleep in a little, but the memory of your wild night with Wanda and her touch were more than enough to shift your priorities.

Unfortunately for you, instead of getting a mind-blowing orgasm, you had gotten edged, denied and then swiftly plugged and you had to watch Wanda get dressed, her smug smile taunting you, while you recovered. That was certainly not in your plans. But you couldn’t deny that you had asked for it. You should have known that pushing her buttons will get you a punishment. Just like you should have known that she wouldn’t take it easy on you the second time around.

When she had put on a pair of jeans and a clean shirt, Wanda rummaged through the clothes you had packed and handed you a skirt and a comfortable top, coaxing you up and helping you get dressed.

“You look beautiful, baby.” She smiled, kissing your cheek and offering you her hand, guiding you to the mirror, so you could take a look at yourself.

“Thank you.” You returned her smile shyly, nuzzling your face into her in front of the mirror, before making your way to your drawer, so you could pull out a pair of panties to wear.

“Oh, no, baby, I already picked out the perfect pair for you.” Wanda objected, taking the panties from your hands and inspecting them briefly, showing her clear displeasure at your choice, before putting them back with the rest of your clothes dismissively.

She gave you a wicked smirk, while she reached into the back pocket of her jeans, though you saw a brief flash of red in her eyes, that told you that whatever she had in mind, she had just conjured with her magic and you waited with bated breath for her to pull them out.

When she did, you gasped, making the woman’s smile grow even wider as she handed them to you. It was a black, lacy thong, though even a thong was a strong word for what she was handing you. It was ridiculously small and to your shock, the front of it included a string of white pearls which would end up right where your clit is.

“Wanda…” You breathed, your voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it, baby? A pretty thong for my pretty girl. And it will feel so good too.” She promised, taking it from your hands and bending down, so she could help you step into it.

Wanda dragged the soft lacy material up your thighs teasingly slowly and she took great pleasure in settling the pearls against your clit and securing the strings of the tiny thong around your waist. Her hand sneaked back, cupping your ass too, before she put a little pressure on the plug inside you, playing with it, until she made you moan. When she was done, she made you hold up your skirt, so she could step back and take a good look at you.

“Perfect.” She praised, offering you her hand. “Come on, walk around for me and tell me how it feels.” She encouraged, her eyes fixed on your body.

You did as you were told, shaky legs almost wobbling as you made a few steps around the room. The pearls quickly got covered in your wetness, copious amounts of your juices and Wanda’s cum from this morning making it easy for them to start sliding over your clit with every step you took, while the plug gave you a subtle, but undeniable feeling of being full. The combination of the two, working together to stimulate your body was impossible to ignore for a single second and you knew that you’d be a complete mess before you even finished breakfast.

“Well?” Wanda raised a brow at you. “How do you feel, baby?”

“So horny, Mommy.” You admitted, stepping into her arms and looking up at her pleadingly. “Please make it better, please. I promise to be so good.” You begged, leaning in to kiss her gently.

Your girlfriend accepted the kiss gladly, arms wrapping around you and pulling you flush against her, while she deepened it, her tongue playing with yours.

“Later, darling. Your parents are already waiting for us. Your mom has been cooking breakfast for a while. We can’t be rude and let her efforts go to waste.”

Knowing that you were ready to argue her point and insist, Wanda was quick to shush you with a finger to your lips and she gave you one last reassuring smile, before she started leading you towards the door.

“Be good for me today, and Mommy will make you feel better tonight.” She promised, before she opened the door and led you out, holding your hand as you started descending the stairs.

Walking down the stairs proved much harder than you expected, each step making the pearls move against your sensitive clit. The plug only added to that feeling, arousal spreading through your entire body and making you give Wanda yet another pleading look. God, you needed her so badly. But she ignored you, helping you walk down confidently and allowing you to lean on her the entire time.

Internally, she was elated. Her perfect girl, all sweet and cute in her outfit, looking so innocent. Only Wanda knew what was hiding underneath all that, knew how much she had dirtied you up just minutes ago and that knowledge made her feel so proud. No one else was allowed to see you the way she did, touch you the way she did, make you feel as good as she did. Only she could bring out this version of you and only she would ever get to enjoy it. She would make sure of it. She would make sure that you stay hers forever. She’d put a ring on your finger one day, she’ll marry you, make you the mother of her children… She knew all that without a shadow of a doubt. Even if it wasn’t the right time just yet, she was sure that it will all fall into place one day.

With thoughts such as these, she made her way into the dining room, greeting your father, who was already seated at the table. You followed her, steps slow and calculated, but nothing really helped. Each movement, each step, each time you squeezed your legs together, the pearls would put pressure on your clit or slide over it, adding to your arousal and desperation.

You greeted your father too, sitting gingerly at your usual spot at the table, feeling the plug nestle firmly into place, now that you were putting constant pressure on it. God, you needed a distraction. And just as if your mother had heard your internal prayer, she walked in, cheerful and sweet, carrying a tray of food that she left in the middle of the table.

“Good morning girls! How did you sleep?” She asked with a smile.

“Wonderful.” Wanda spoke up, smiling charmingly at your mother. “And the food looks amazing!” She complimented, her eyes scanning the food, as if trying to pick what she should eat first. “Y/N was so eager for breakfast too. I think she misses your cooking.” She added looking at you adoringly.

“Yeah, mom, everything looks so good.” You confirmed, nodding.

“Well, then what are you waiting for? Eat!” She encouraged, urging you to start filling your plates.

You shot Wanda a glare, while your mom was taking a seat. “I sure am eager, just not for breakfast.” You thought, shifting a little in your seat and squeezing your legs together with need. “And what else could you be hungry for?” Wanda’s voice came, seemingly from inside your head, the woman smirking at you knowingly, raising an eyebrow at you, while she took a sip of her orange juice. “Something… Filling.” You smirked back. “Like your cock, maybe?” You suggested. “You haven’t earned my cock, sweetie.” Wanda’s voice filled your head. “If you did, you wouldn’t be in your current predicament.” She said with an air of finality, pulling away from your thoughts, so the two of you could focus on the conversation your parents were trying to start.

Wanda was as charming as ever, your parents completely under her spell as they spoke, her smile growing wider with each passing minute. She wasn’t just happy that they genuinely liked her, though. She was also listening to you, your hazy, lustful thoughts like a whisper in the back of her head. You were driving yourself crazy. She didn’t even have to do any work, when you were doing all the teasing for her.

By the time breakfast was finished and your parents had left the two of you alone at the table, each one attending to their choirs, you were a mess. The small, lacy thong had soaked through, wetness coating your inner things and you were almost humping the chair for relief.

You looked so beautiful to Wanda like this, so precious. She wanted to pull you into her lap and cover you in kisses, to stroke your soft hair and soothe you. Truthfully, she wanted to keep you exactly like this, always. She wanted you desperate and needy, so she could admire you in this state, with your glossy eyes and your parted lips, with your fingers clinging to her and your mind clouded by thoughts of her and her alone. She wanted to come home and find you like this, to wake up to you, in this state, so she could have you whenever she wanted. Not that you would ever refuse her. You always wanted her, could never get enough of her, just as she could never have her fill of you. But this was different. You looked so vulnerable, so exposed… So ready for her taking. It’s really a shame that you had run your smart little mouth this morning. Otherwise, she might have taken you upstairs and fucked you. Then again, if she did, you wouldn’t be looking at her the way you currently did. And she never wanted that look to fade. It was almost like she was split in two. The part of her that loved to please you screamed at her to take you right now and make you cum until you can’t anymore. Then there was the other one�� How could Wanda ever choose? Before she could, the kitchen door opened and your mother came in, pulling her from her thoughts.

“Girls, what would you say, if we go out for a bit? Just the three of us. You can help me do some shopping, since I haven’t been out in the shops in ages and then we can have lunch together at that restaurant we always used to go to? What do you say?” She offered with a smile.

“What about dad?” You asked, your eyebrows knitting together.

“He has some things to do this morning. You know him, he has to keep busy. But he’ll be fine.” Your mom assured you.

“Ok, we can go out.” You agreed, thinking that this could be a nice distraction.

“Well, then I’ll go get ready. I shouldn’t take too long.” She told you, already making her way upstairs.

“Let’s go get ready too.” Wanda offered, extending her hand to you and helping you up, her eyes sparkling.

She took you to your room with a smile, closing the door behind you, before her magic left you bare, almost making you squeal in surprise at the sudden action.

“Wanda!” You reprimanded, although you weren’t quite sure what for. That thong that she gave you had disappeared too and with it, the pressure against your clit, which now throbbed for attention.

“Don’t you want to clean up, before we go out, honey?” She asked, mischief clear in her voice.

She undressed hastily and led you to the small bathroom, getting the water just right, before she started to wash you, her hands roaming your body. It was just as teasing, having her naked, as she caressed you, her body pressed against yours under the stream of hot water.

It felt so familiar, having her take care of you like this. Her lips were gentle as she kissed you, her hands soothing and her touch light. Her hands would always roam, her hunger for you insatiable, so you thought nothing of it, when they landed on your ass, kneading. What you were surprised to feel, however, was when they started to play with the jewelled plug there, making you moan in desperation.

“Such a good girl.” She praised. “Are you enjoying your little toy, baby?” Wanda asked, her fingers putting a little more pressure on it. She could feel her own pussy twitch in response to her cruel game, making her even more excited for the night she had planned for you both. “Is it making my sweet girl all horny for Mommy?”

“Yes!” You hissed, your hips canting towards her in search for any pressure where you needed her most. “Need you so badly, Mommy. Please, make it better. Please. I’ve been good.”

“As pretty as you are, begging me like this, you know why Mommy can’t make it better.” She responded softly, as if explaining something very difficult to a child. “I have to teach you a lesson, my darling. You can’t go around, acting like you did last night.” She said in that same tone. “Your little plug should be a nice reminder.” She concluded. “And if you’re good, Mommy will reward you tonight.” She promised.

When you were out of the shower, Wanda used a soft towel to dry you off and picked out a comfortable outfit for you to wear, while shopping. She got dressed quickly, not wanting to make your mother wait. When the two of you were at the door of your room, ready to go out, she took your chin in her hand, turning your face towards her and making you look up at her eyes.

“You’re going to be good for me today, won’t you, love?” She asked with a firm tone.

“Yes, Mommy, I’ll be good.” You nodded, eyes sparkling.

And you meant to keep your word, you really did. For a little while, you even managed it. You had visited a few stores with Wanda and your mother, you even got through lunch without any major incidents. Well… You did, tease Wanda a little bit, licking your fingers clean in a way that could only be described as sinful, but you knew your girlfriend wouldn’t hold it against you. She could always tell when you were being playful and she had expected such behaviour from you.

On your way to the next store, she even leaned in close, whispering to you what a good girl you’re being for her, masking her praise with a soft kiss to your cheek.

It was going well and perhaps you should have left things as they are, but the constant stimulation, the subtle feeling of fullness, the growing need between your legs just wouldn’t give you peace. Being edged this morning and then left denied had only served to heighten your arousal and despite the shower you took before leaving home, your panties were soaked, clinging to your folds and reminding you of how badly you needed Wanda to make it better.

With that in mind, you grabbed the most daring dress you could find in the store and you went to the changing rooms, quickly putting it on and looking at yourself shortly in the mirror to check if it was truly going to have the effect you wanted. Then again, how could it not, since it was a mini black dress with a plunging V-shaped neckline that stopped just above your bra.

“Hey, Wanda!” You called out, peaking from the changing room to make sure she’s near. “Would you come in? Tell me what you think.” You said shortly, before hiding yourself.

You waited with bated breath, as you heard her steps approaching, fixing your hair, to make sure you looked pretty for her, when you heard her voice.

“Let me see, baby.” She said softly, pushing the door open and sneaking inside, only to be left with her mouth hanging open at the sight of you.

“It’s a nice dress, isn’t it?” You said, a wide smile tugging at your lips.

“As gorgeous as you look, my love, that dress is way too short.” She said, eyes still glued to your chest and to your barely covered thighs, though she was starting to recover.

“What do you mean, I think it fits nicely.” You objected, turning around to let her have a view of you from the back as well. The dress was hugging you nicely, the curve of your ass perfectly outlined by the dress.

“And where would you like to wear such a dress?” Wanda’s eyes narrowed, her breathing growing erratic as she watched you.

“Don’t we have that donation dinner soon? I still don’t have an outfit…” You suggested. You knew such a thought would not sit well with your girlfriend, who hated the thought of other people ogling what’s hers.

“You want to dress like that for those rich, old men the government is trying to get money from? I don’t think so… That’s way too short. But if you like it so much, we can get it and you can wear it for me at home.” She tried to reason with you. To her, this was a compromise and the best she was willing to offer, considering that she could see your panties every time you so much as leaned forwards.

“Well, that’s no fun…” You pouted, suddenly pulling the dress off of you and leaving it on the hanger. “I guess I’ll have to find something else.” You said, running your fingers through your hair to get it out of the way. “Perhaps I should start with some new underwear… These panties are practically soaked.” You pouted.

“Oh, are they?” Wanda gave you a sympathetic look that was entirely fake. “Let Mommy see.” She stepped closer, hands circling you and gliding over your body teasingly.

She wasted no time to claim your lips in a kiss, her tongue darting out to meet yours, while her hands travelled lower, nimble fingers sneaking under the waistband of your panties and between your folds, instantly feeling the wetness there.

“Oh, my poor, sweet girl.” She gasped, playing with your wetness and spreading it generously. “That must be so uncomfortable.” She mused, the tip of her finger barely dipping inside you, before she pulled out, refusing to give you any relief.

“Yes, Mommy, it’s so icky. I need you to make it better, please.” You pleaded.

“Oh, I know, baby, I know. Mommy will help you when we get back. For now, I need you to be good for me and get dressed.” She instructed, pulling her hand away entirely.

You pouted, letting out a frustrated groan and giving her one last pleading, hopeful look, before you gathered your clothes and started putting them on, while Wanda leaned against the changing room door with a smirk and she lazily licked her fingers clean. She walked out behind you, giving your ass a teasing pat, that only served to tease you further.

If you were in any other state of mind, you would have known that you should have left things as they are. But after being edged, denied, teased and left needy, you weren’t really thinking straight. And you thought that if you teased Wanda enough, she would finally give in and fuck you. If only you knew how foolish that was…

But you did it anyway. You went ahead to show her 3 more dresses, each more revealing than the last, having the audacity to actually walk out of the changing room wearing the last one, parading it around the store and letting all the other unsuspecting shoppers ogle you. That was strike one. Wanda’s eyes were dark and downright stormy, as she tried to keep her composure. Even your mother, who usually had an open mind, thought that your choice was too much.

Strike two came, when you called her into the changing room of another store, only for her to find you in your underwear, rubbing your pussy over the damp material of your panties.

“What do you think, baby? Is this a good look for me?” You asked boldly.

“It is.” She agreed, after getting over the initial shock. “But you should know better than to touch your pussy without my permission.” She reminded. “And you should be careful with your little displays.” She added as she stepped closer, pushing your hand away from your pussy, so she could replace it with her own, gentle fingers gliding over your clothed clit and making you moan. “Unless you’d like me leave you untouched tonight as well?” Wanda added, the threat clear in her voice and darkened eyes.

“No, Mommy, please. I just need you to make me feel good. Please?” You begged, clinging to her desperately, while she teased your pussy.

“If you want me to make it better, you’ll behave yourself.” Wanda said sternly, her hand patting your pussy softly in a way that reminded you of nights when her touch has been less than gentle.

Before you could say anything else, she walked away, leaving you to dress yourself with the very uncomfortable feeling of your full ass, aching pussy and damp underwear still clinging to you.

Thankfully, this was the last store you had on your list for the day and you all gathered your items and brought them to the check-out counter, happy to finally go home for the day. Wanda gathered all the items the two of you were buying, wanting to treat you and she handed them over to the cashier, who looked up to the two of you.

“Oh my God, Y/N is that you?” He exclaimed, his eyes lighting up.

“Allan, hi!” You greeted, suddenly recognizing him.

“You know, I thought I recognized you, when I saw a gorgeous woman walking around the store in that black dress. You looked amazing.” He complimented openly, bringing a tint of redness to your cheeks.

“Thank you.” You said softly, feeling Wanda step closer to you, pressing into your side protectively.

She gave the man an expectant look, her eyes fixated on his hands that didn’t seem to be scanning any of your items, but was instead flirting with you. A gesture he seemed to notice, but chose to ignore for the time being.

“How long has it been since high-school?” He continued. “You know, you’ve grown even more beautiful than I remember.” He said next, his words causing Wanda’s fists to close in annoyance. “Why don’t we go out some time?” He suggested.

While he was focused on you, he seemed to miss the way Wanda’s eyes flashed red for a brief second before she got a hold of her magic and reigned it in. Even so, she was deeply displeased at his attempts to flirt with you, her arm wrapping around you possessively and pulling you even closer to her body.

“Well…” You tried to think, looking for a polite way to turn him down.

“She has a girlfriend.” Wanda snapped, growing more impatient with each second. Her fingers dug into your side, refusing to let go and just the feeling of it told you that she had reached her limit. Strike three.

“Oh.” Allan suddenly looked between the two of you in shock, before he started to hurriedly scan your items.

“Yeah, Wanda and I are together.” You confirmed, a smile of genuine affection spreading over your features at the thought.

That seemed to make your girlfriend feel more at ease and her hold on you loosened, her eyes growing warmer at the recognition. Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t going to earn you any leniency. Not that you minded. You were really looking forward to seeing Wanda’s rougher side once more. Especially with the day you’ve been having.

Thankfully your shopping trip came to an end soon after and the three of you returned back to your parents’ house and you were allowed some respite. Wanda was even kind enough to allow you to remove the plug, seeing as you practically couldn’t stand still with how needy you’d gotten and she even cleaned you up, joining you in the shower and caressing you softly.

When you joined everyone downstairs you were forced to endure the moment you dreaded most, your mom showing Wanda all of your childhood albums, starting with your cutest baby pictures and moving forward, all the way to your graduation album.

By the time they were done discussing you and fawning over how precious you looked, your mom sharing way too many embarrassing stories, it was almost time for dinner and you thanked all your lucky stars that this day would soon be over and in just a few short hours, you’ll finally get what you’d been craving all day.

This time you had the good sense to refrain from pushing Wanda’s buttons further, and the two of you made it to your room without incident, which is why you thought it would be wise to pull her in for a kiss just as soon as your bedroom door closed.  

“I’ve been waiting for this all day.” You confess against her lips, your hands sneaking under her shirt quickly.

“Oh, I know. You caused quite the scenes today, because of that needy pussy.” Wanda smirked, walking you backwards towards the bed and watching you fall on it, just as soon as the backs of your legs hit the mattress.

“I don’t know what you mean.” You feigned innocence, batting your eyelashes at her.

“No?” Wanda scoffed. “Well, let me remind you, baby. Because you’ve been such a bad girl today.”

Your girlfriend undressed you quickly, your clothes and hers falling on the floor in rapid succession, until you were both bare. She was pleasantly surprised to find your panties already wet and her eyes zeroed in on the way a string of your arousal clung to them, as she was dragging them down your legs.

“So fucking wet for me already.” She gasped in awe, her fingers running through your wetness almost on instinct. She found it fascinating, how badly you wanted her, how wet you got for her, how much you needed her. “And so God damned beautiful.” She complimented with a sigh, eagerly entering you with a finger.

Your walls fluttered around her, welcoming her and you arched your back in pleasure.

“More, please Mommy.” You begged, your hips moving against Wanda’s hand eagerly, in search for relief. You needed her to move faster, to fuck you deeper, to stretch out your walls further, so you could feel full.

She obliged you without protest, calculating eyes following each movement you made, as she added another finger, your needy moans like music to her ears. Soon her tongue joined as well, swirling over your clit once and waiting for the litany of pleas, before she would do it again.

Considering the way she played with you, you should have known that it wouldn’t be so easy, but with her fingers buried deep inside you and her tongue swirling over your clit, it took no time at all, before you were ready to explode, the sensation overshadowing all rational thought. It would have been so sweet too. You could feel yourself getting to that glorious edge, your hands gripping the sheets and your back arching in anticipation of it, when Wanda’s mouth and tongue pulled away, looking up at you with a wide, devilish smirk.

“Are you close, baby?” She asked, her voice husky.

“Yes, I’m so close.” You nodded frantically. Her fingers twisted inside you, curling to hit your sweet spot while she spoke, getting you even closer.

“You know good girls ask for permission, when they want to come, don’t you?” She reminded with that same sweet tone, amusement and excitement glistening in her eyes.

“Oh God…” You moaned, when her fingers curled again. Your clit was throbbing and you knew that the slightest touch against it would set you off. “Please, Mommy, may I come? Please!” You begged, your eyes closing in anticipation of her tongue returning.

What came however, was Wanda’s deep, raspy chuckle. It sounded menacing, all of the amusement drained from it.

“Did you really think it would be that easy, sweetheart?” She asked, as she continued to fuck you with her fingers, her movements slow and calculated to keep you on the edge, without letting you fall over. “After everything you did today? After refusing to listen to Mommy, after parading yourself around the stores… Do you really think you deserve an orgasm, hm?”

“Mommy, please! I just wanted to play a little.” You tried to explain with a pout, your hips starting to cant up to meet Wanda’s teasing fingers. “Please, I need it so much.” You whined, your hands twisting the sheets under you in frustration.

“Is that so…” Wanda raised an eyebrow at you, smirking. “Well, now Mommy’s going to play a little too.” She said calmly, before wrapping her mouth around your clit again.

She made teasingly slow circles with her tongue, gliding it gently over your sensitive clit. She was having so much fun teasing you like this, working you up to the edge again.

“Mommy!” You squirmed under her. “Please, can I come? Please!” You begged once more, but Wanda hurried to remove herself from you entirely.

“No.” She stated bluntly. “I don’t think I’ll let you have an orgasm tonight.” She announced, as if it was the most mundane topic. “Mommy has to teach you how to be a good girl.” She told you, smirking at how pathetically you whined.

With a wave of her hands, she secured your wrists and ancles, red magic swirling over them and holding them in place, making sure that your hands were pinned above your head and your legs were being spread wide open.

“I’ll be good, Mommy, please!” You tried again, your limbs instinctively trying to fight against her magical bonds, even when you knew it was futile.

“Yeah? You’ll be my good girl tonight?” Wanda asked with mocking softness. “Well, let’s see…”

She enters you without much warning, but your walls welcome her happily, your pussy pulsing and squeezing her desperately. She curls them with each thrust, while she looks at your face with a mix of sadistic pleasure and tender admiration. She makes sure to hit your sweet spot every time, watching the pleasure building within you, reaching the sweet edge of release with a strangled moan, before she cruelly pulls away.

She waits for you to open your eyes, waits for them to meet hers in pleading desperation, before her hand rises and it lands with a harsh slap on your pussy. She does it just once, but it’s enough to have your eyes water and for your body to start squirming again.

“Will you forget to ask permission again?” She asks, getting straight to the point, grabbing your face in her hand and forcing you to look at her. You only shake your head, not trusting yourself to speak and she raises an eyebrow at you. “Words, baby.” She reminds, softer this time, her hold loosening and turning into a caress.

“No, Mommy, I won’t forget to ask for permission again.” You shake your head, but you answer her this time.

“Good.” She smiles, her gaze turning towards your needy pussy. “Then let’s try again.” She says with smile.

Her fingers return soon after, probing and teasing your pussy, this time she circles your clit with them, slow and gentle motions that drive you wild with need. Anything she does feels amazing at this point, really. Even that slap on your pussy, despite the pain and the sudden harshness, was almost good enough to trigger your orgasm.

“Mommy, may I please come?” You whine, when you feel yourself reaching the edge. The way she touches you is overwhelmingly good. Too good. And her hand doesn’t pull away.

“No. You may not.” She responds firmly. “Hold it.”

“I can’t. Please! Please, Mommy, you have to stop!” You plead with her, while you try to hold on to anything that might keep you grounded.

Wanda’s hand pulls away, leaving you edged once more and an almost evil smirk appears on her lips when she thinks about what you’d said.

“Such a good girl.” She praises softly, kissing your parted lips and making you open your eyes, so you can look at her. “You want to be a good girl for me, don’t you?” She asks, smirking. You can see the mischief behind her words, but you can’t be sure why yet, your brain too foggy and too overwhelmed to really think it through.

“I want to be good for you, Mommy.” You repeat, almost on autopilot.

“Good. Well, good girls don’t come without permission, do they?” She asks, but at this point, you’re pretty sure it’s rhetorical. “And you already know that you’re not allowed to come tonight, so it’s pointless to ask for permission anyway, isn’t it? If you want to be good, you should be begging me to deny you instead.” She says triumphantly, smirking when your eyes go wide with realization and disappointment.

She doesn’t give you much time to say anything, before she’s making her way down your body, kissing your breasts and licking over your erect nipples, leaving a few marks on your tender flesh, then moving even lower, settling between your legs and caressing your things, before she lowers her head and starts to lick your pussy.

She moans at your taste, trying to delve in deeper, gathering your juices on her tongue and swallowing them greedily, before she swirls her tongue over your clit, making you moan and arch under her.

You try to fight the pleasure, you try to keep yourself from falling too fast, but it’s inevitable. She’s too good, she knows your body too well and you know it’s a losing battle.

“Oh my God, Mommy!” You scream. You want her to make you come. You need her to make you come. You need relief. And you want to beg her to let you. “Mommy, please!” You utter out, desperate, not wanting to say the words that will condemn you to denial. You refuse to utter them.

When she can sense that you’re too close, she pulls away, edging you once again and she gives you a moment of reprieve, for you to catch your breath, before she makes you look down at her.

Her hand rises again, slapping your pussy with a grin that only widens when you try to escape her. She looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something and when you don’t, she does it again, her fingers landing on your clit this time and making your eyes fill with tears again.

“I’m sorry, please!” You try to beg, not really sure what to say to get yourself out of this situation. “Please, I’ll be good.” You try again, when her hand raises for the third time.

“You’ll be good, baby?” Wanda smirks, satisfied to see all the defiance leaving you. She enters you gently and curls her fingers inside you, causing a surge of relief to pass through your body at the stimulation. “And what do good girls say to Mommy, when they’re close?” She asks expectantly, using her other hand to draw circles over your clit.

The stimulation hits you full force and you gasp, trying to fight off the pleasure, trying to keep yourself from letting go, but you can’t. You’re already so close, she’s been keeping you on the edge for a while now and she knows it. When she puts some extra pressure on your clit, you moan, instantly surrendering.

“Mommy, please don’t let me come!” You say pleadingly, your body writhing, when she pulls her hands away once more.

The thoughts in your head and the sensations you’re experiencing are so conflicting it almost hurts. You want to come so badly, your whole body is on fire and each small touch makes you crave your release so much more. But you also want to be a good girl for Wanda, you crave her praise and her soft dominance, you crave her approval. You want to make her happy. And you know how much this makes her happy. You can feel the internal elation in her, when you do as you’re told.

“That’s my good girl.” Wanda smiles, her hands running up and down your thighs soothingly, while she waits for the edge to wear off. “You did so well, my darling.” She tells you softly, kissing the insides of your thighs.

“Thank you, Mommy.” You breathe out a sigh of relief. It feels so good, when she says that and means it.

Your words only spur Wanda on, giving her another wicked idea and she starts to tease your pussy with her fingers, entering you gently and building another orgasm within you. She holds eye contact with you as she does it, she wants to see the defeat in your eyes this time, when you beg her and she’s not disappointed.

“Please, Mommy, please don’t let me come.” You say with tearful eyes and even though you expect the edge it still hurts, when she pulls away.

“Very good.” Wanda is practically in heaven, her pussy dripping with excitement at how well you’re behaving, how well you’re taking it, but especially at your obedience. “Now say “Thank you” to Mommy, for being so nice and denying you.” She coaxes out of you.

“Thank you for denying me, Mommy.” You say softly, voice shaking at how hard it is to utter those words. “Thank you for letting me be a good girl and not letting me come.”

“Fuck, you’re so hot, when you say that.” Wanda smirks. “You have no idea how turned on that makes me.” She confesses, not even trying to hide how much it pleases her. “Now, baby, Mommy’s going to lick your pussy, but you’re not allowed to have an orgasm.” She tells you. “You’ll be a good girl and beg me to deny you, won’t you?” She asks you expectantly. “And while you do that, Mommy’s going to have some fun with herself.”

For the next long minutes, that’s exactly what she does. She edges you over and over again, and each time you beg her to deny you and you thank her for her cruelty, she gets a little bit closer to having one of the best orgasms of her life.

“You’re so good for me, baby.” Wanda praises with a sigh, her hand working tirelessly between her own legs, her clit twitching with how close she is. “Do you think you can take one more edge for Mommy? Hm?” She asks sweetly.

She rarely allows herself to indulge in such pleasures, rarely lets this side of her sadistic nature run free, especially because you’re usually such a good girl for her, so this is a rare treat, something she wants to savour, something she wants to remember.

“Yes, Mommy, I can do it.” You nod frantically, wanting her to keep going. You never want her to stop. At this point, even though she’s edging you, any stimulation feels better than being left untouched.

“Good girl.” Wanda praises, before starting to slowly lick over your clit.

“Thank you, Mommy!” You sigh. You’re on a wave of pleasure of your own, a twisted pleasure that never ends, a tormenting kind of pleasure that demands more and more, without it ever being enough. “Thank you for being so good to me.” You moan, pulling against the restraints. It’s gloriously good. “Thank you.” You gasp, the closer you get and you can feel her right there on the edge with you, her hand helping her through those final moments. “Thank you for edging me. Thank you for teaching me how to be good, Mommy!” You moan the words in a trans-like state. You’re so close that you think she’ll actually let you come this time.

In the last possible moment Wanda pulls away from your pussy, leaving you edged and in despair as she starts to climax. The orgasm is just glorious, her moans of pleasure mixing with yours, creating a symphony of bliss and despair. Knowing how badly you need to come right now makes her come even harder, her body trembling and her thighs shaking as she continues to circle her clit, until she’s entirely spent and she pulls her hand away with a happy sigh.

When you see that she’s spent, you finally relax, thinking that your punishment is over, that she’ll take pity on you and finally allow you to come, the way you’ve been craving, but she makes no move to alleviate the uncomfortable feelings between your legs.

Climbing up your body, she doesn’t let you say a thing, opting for pushing her slick covered fingers in your mouth and making you suck them clean. She hopes they’ll keep you busy enough, but she isn’t surprised, when you start to beg her just as soon as you can, promising to be good for her and to never misbehave again.

“Hush, sweetie. Just enjoy the taste of Mommy on your tongue.” She shushes you, leaving tender kisses on your face.

“But Mommy, I need it.” You pout, looking up at her with your big, desperate eyes.

“You should have thought of that, before you decided to misbehave today, baby.” Wanda tries to remind you.

“Please, Mommy, just one. Please?” You try again., straining against the bonds that still hold you.

“Mommy already said no, sweetheart.” She explains calmly, though her eyes give away her frustration. She is close to losing her patience. “You were doing so well for me. Don’t stop now.”

“But, Mommy, please! I was good.” You try to bargain again, but from the way her jaw sets and her head tilts, you can see that you have made a very big mistake.

“Yes, and you don’t want to ruin all that, do you? So stop being a brat and listen to Mommy.” She gives you one last warning.

“I’m not a brat! I just want to come. Please?” You say with a pout, getting on Wanda’s last nerve.

“You really wanna cum that badly, huh?” She asks, while gripping your face and spitting the words through gritted teeth, her voice getting lower, until it becomes a dangerous growl.

She doesn’t wait for a response, doesn’t even spare you a second glance, which tells you that whatever she’ll do next, it’s unlikely you’ll enjoy it. Her mind already made up and she travels down your body again on a mission, ignoring your little pleas for her attention and mercy. She doesn’t pretend that she’s going to be soft, her hands starting to work on building an orgasm within you just as soon as she touches you. Her fingers are rough when she enters you and her thumb on your clit puts more pressure than she needs, but you don’t mind. You just want to come.

The orgasm builds within you in just a few short minutes, in fact, you think it’s less and you wait for the moment it hits you with bated breath. You even think she might edge you again, just to spite you, but she doesn’t. Her fingers work with purpose and they push you over the edge with experienced ease. Wanda watches the way your back arches, the way your walls squeeze her in, the way your mouth falls open, so you can scream with pleasure, she can feel your clit twitching with how good it feels and she doesn’t hesitate for a moment to take it away.

It's worse than an edge. This time she ruins it. And she watches with gleeful satisfaction how you writhe in agony at the displeasure of having your orgasm ruined.

“No, no, no, no, no!” You say in panicked frenzy, but there’s nothing you can do. Tied up and helpless, your hands twist in her bonds, desperate for you to be free so you can do something to make it better.

“What? Didn’t you want to come?” Wanda smirks at you, raising her hand and spanking your pussy. It’s overstimulated and sensitive, making her slap hurt even more and you yelp, uselessly flailing on the bed.

Tears start to stream down your face soon after. Tears of frustration and desperation, tears that came from being denied what you wanted. You hated being denied. You hated it so much when you couldn’t get what you want. In moments like this you could be a real brat, but Wanda was going to deal with that once and for all.

“Did you like your orgasm, baby?” She asks gleefully. “Was it worth making Mommy angry?” You can only shake your head, still feeling the aftershocks of unfulfilled pleasure coursing through you. “Well, baby, you got yourself in this situation and now you’ll get exactly what you asked for.” She tells you with an air of finality.

Before you can ask what she means, she puts her hands on your pussy again, fingers running through your folds and teasing your clit. It feels too much, your body still recovering and the pleasure she brings with her touch isn’t enough to help the overstimulation, but she doesn’t care. What’s worse is that your body craves it and your tears run dry, immediately replaced by yearning. The ruin somehow amplified your need and now, despite the overstimulation, you stayed still, allowing her each touch, chasing another high.

Wanda’s cruelty doesn’t stop, now that you’ve truly pushed her buttons and she’s determined to see this through the end, no matter how many orgasms she has to ruin to do it. It only turns her on, the more you start to realize that there’s no escape and she decides to enjoy herself fully, her hand returning between her legs, so she can coax another orgasm out of her own pussy as well.

She builds you up quickly, but this time you’ve had time to think, so when you reach your edge, you beg.

“Mommy, may I please come? Please?” You ask sweetly, hoping to win her over.

“Of course, baby. Go ahead and come for me.” She encourages with a gentle smile and you feel yourself let go immediately.

Wanda watches with careful eyes as you start to orgasm, your clit throbbing and she doesn’t hesitate to pull away again, her smile turning into a cruel grin as she watches you whine and thrash on the bed.

The second ruin is even more unsatisfying than the first, all the pleasure fading away and only leaving a bitter taste, which is a mixture of craving for release, disappointment and frustration. It makes you let out a long cry, your eyes fixing her and pleading wordlessly for her to take pity on you.

“Oh, did you think I was really going to let you have a full orgasm?” She asks through a laugh devoid of amusement. “No, you’ll only be having ruins.” She announces, answering her own question before you had a chance to speak. “I want to see how many you can have.”

“Please, Mommy, I’ll be good.” You tried to plead.

“You had your chance to be good for me, darling. Now you’ll just have to face the consequences.” She explains, patient and even a little excited. “You know what consequences are, don’t you?” She asks in a mockingly sweet voice. “Perhaps after tonight, my lovely girl will think twice, before acting up.” She muses with a deep sigh.

The way your eyes widened in fear and dejection shouldn’t have turned Wanda on as much as they did. She should have felt terrible for doing all these cruel, sadistic things to you, but instead, she felt excited. Your adorable little pussy was practically dripping on the sheets, wet and aching and ready to be filled to the brim, ready for every touch she was willing to offer… Ready to be ruined.

How poetic, she mused to herself, pondering on the beauty of the double meaning behind her thought. She wondered if perhaps you would find it as amusing as she did? Then again… Perhaps not. But she was enjoying herself immensely and she didn’t hesitate for a moment to slip her slender fingers inside your hungry hole, filling you up, until you took all of her.

She fucked you almost lazily, her adoring eyes devouring the sight of you stretching around her, of the droplets of your arousal smeared across your pussy and her hands, of the way your muscles twitched and spasmed, your body struggling to stay still. All beautiful. All for her.

Wanda could see that you were getting lost in your pleasure, in your own little world, which, at this moment, seemed to revolve entirely around her. You always looked so pretty when your brain got all fuzzy and all you could do was cling to her, just as you did now. She could see you slipping into subspace, defiance giving way to submission, the internal battle within you giving way to acceptance.

Her mouth joins her fingers this time, her tongue gliding over your clit deliciously, making it even more painful, when she takes the next orgasm away from you, ruining it. Your whole pussy spasms uselessly with no stimulation once more, empty and untouched, making you whine. You’ve rarely had ruins before, and always accidental, but this was the first time with Wanda and certainly the first time you’ve had so many in a row. It’s the worst punishment you’ve ever faced.

She almost cums at the sight of you, all desperate and ruined and entirely at her mercy. She certainly hoped for it to be enough, wanting to fall apart while you were writing through another ruined orgasm. It would have been the perfect taunt, but she needs a little more.

“Mommy.” You say, the words spilling out of your mouth without much thought. You don’t even know what you want to say.

“Shhh, it’s ok, love. Mommy’s here.” She reassures you, her free hand running up and down your thighs to soothe you. “I’ll take care of you.” She whispers softly, her chest filling with pride and love at how quickly you nod your head. “Isn’t it much better when Mommy thinks for you, my love? Isn’t it easier, when you let Mommy make all those hard decisions and you just do as you’re told?” She spoke softly, her features reflecting her demeanour.

“Yes, Mommy knows best.” You nod, eyes unfocussed.

“That’s right. Mommy knows best.” Wanda confirms proudly. “You’re not going to forget that next time, are you?” She asks gently.

“No, Mommy, I won’t forget. I promise to be so good.” You look up at her, nodding, eyes so soft it melts Wanda’s heart.

“Good, sweetheart.” Wanda smiles, before she lowers her head again.

She’s careful when she takes your clit into her mouth, careful to get you used to the stimulation in this state, before she speeds up. She knows you’re sensitive and almost at your limit and she doesn’t want to hurt you, so she builds your next orgasm slowly, her hands stroking the skin of your thighs in a gentle manner, helping your body relax further, all the while she’s touching herself.

When you reach the edge, Wanda can hear the internal battle in your head, thoughts clashing together. You want to beg her to let you come fully this time, you want to plead with her, but you know you shouldn’t. You know you don’t deserve it. You know you pushed her to do this to you, your little transgressions flashing behind your closed lids, before you come to the conclusion that you’ve earned your punishment.

But it’s when you call out her name, her chosen title spilling from your lips in warning of your impending orgasm, that she knows she should take mercy on you.

Wanda holds your hips more firmly, her tongue swirling over your clit again and again in perfect circles and she feels the moment your start to orgasm. Your back arches and you fully expect her to pull away, but she doesn’t this time, holding you down while she helps you ride out your pleasure.

The moment you realize that she won’t stop, you let go fully, your first real orgasm crashing over you in full force and you try to hold on to it for as long as you can, relief flooding your senses and making you sigh and moan in pure bliss.

Wanda falls apart right after you, her moans of pleasure revibrating against you and making your orgasm that much sweeter.

When it’s over you feel overstimulated and spent, but thankfully Wanda pulls away, crawling over your body and making your restraints disappear with a single wave of her hand, so she can cuddle you. Her body brings warmth and comfort and you wrap yourself around her with the last of your strength, nuzzling your face in her neck and breathing her in.

“I’m sorry for being such a brat today.” You say after some time has passed and you’ve had time to gather your thoughts.

“I forgive you, sweetheart.” Wanda murmurs, kissing your forehead and pulling you even closer to herself. “You’re a good girl.” She reassures you, wanting you know that you're safe with her.

After a few more minutes pass and she starts to feel you drift off, she tries to rouse you.

“Let me clean you up first, darling.” She offers as she removes some hair from your neck and forehead.

“Tomorrow, please?” You whine, pulling her into an even tighter embrace.

“All right, sweetheart. Tomorrow. Sleep well now.” She concedes, not having the heart to make you get up, especially with how cutely you’d cuddled into her.

“I love you, Wanda.” You say with the last bit of your strength.

“I love you too, my precious girl. More than you know.” Wanda smiles softly, feeling you start to drift off and allowing herself to do the same.

_____________________________________________

I hope you guys enjoyed this fic! I certainly loved writing it.

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Undetered.

Continuation of Unrequited.

Pairing: Arlecchino x Reader x Furina (Genshin).

Word Count: 1.1k.

TW: Obnoxious Sapphic Pining, Lesbian Melodrama, and Spoilers for the Fontaine Story Quest. Live Dove: Tender and Sweet.

Truly, you were fortunate to have such a persistent suitor.

And, truly, Arlecchino was lucky to be so desperately in love with someone who so often left their windows unlocked.

Lady Furina – or, rather, Miss Furina now – might not have had the limitless means of an archon, but her manor was still sizable enough to leave convenient gaps between patrolling guards. Vaulting the stone gate was child’s play, climbing to the second floor a task that would’ve been easily passed off to one of her less capable subordinates, remaining unseen as she worked a dagger between the glass pane and its wooden frame until the mechanism gave and she could slip into your bedroom an art she’d perfected over decades of careful practice. She never expected to use her talents for a matter so personal, but still, expertise couldn’t be denied.

Although Furina’s burdens weren’t quite as heavy as an opera star as they’d been as an archon, you still took care of her affairs dutifully – ever the loyal companion despite your favored idol having been proved false. Even now, in the dead of night, you were chained to your desk, your fingertips stained with ink and your quill abused to the point of dullness. It took a moment for you to take notice of the draft, to straighten your back and glance blearily in her direction, but whatever exhaustion stole your attention from her seemed to disappear the moment you met her eyes. You scrambled to rise, to call for your guards, but she was already closing the distance between you, already trapping you against the edge of your desk, an arm caging you in on either side. Too breathless to spare a proper greeting, she took your hand in her own and held it to her chest. If she had a heartbeat, you might’ve been able to hear it racing. “My love, my light,” You opened your mouth, undoubtedly preparing one of the dismissive platitudes you so often offered her, but just this once, she refused herself the pleasure that was listening to your voice. Time was precious, tonight, and she couldn’t afford to be so indulgent. “I’m leaving for Snezhnaya at dawn, and I will only dare to ask this once—” She paused, forced herself to breath. “Come with me.”

Your eyes remained wide and horrified. “Lord Arlecchino.” And then, after a short lapse, “You’re in my bedroom.”

“If you must serve a god,” she went on, unfazed by your shock. “Then serve me. I know you think you’ve found a purpose in Furina, but there is nothing in the world she can give you that I can’t. There’s nothing she does for you that I’m not willing to.” She raised your hand to her mouth, her lips grazing over your knuckles. “You don’t have to love me. All I ask is to be able to pretend you might, one day.”

It was your turn to manage a ragged inhale, now, to draw yourself out of her hold with a quick shake of your head, a dry swallow. “You can’t—” You started towards the door, then thought better of it, taking to pacing as you glared daggers towards the carpeting. “You cannot be here. You have to leave, and you have to make sure no one sees you.”

“I’m not afraid of a few guards,” she cut in. “If I had to fight a thousand men for your hand, I’d draw my sword without a second thought.”

“You don’t understand. She thinks I don’t know, but—” You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “She writes these— these fictions, and if she finds that you’ve broken into her estate in the middle of the night wearing—” You gestured vaguely to her, or more specifically, to the pitch-black bodysuit she usually wore to her less scrupulous encounters. “—that, I’ll have to travel far past Snezhnaya before I ever hear the end of it.”

With an airy chuckle, she found her way back to your side. As gently as she could, she took you by the arm, and when you failed to protest, drew you into a delicate embrace. “What are you afraid of, dear?”

You slackened against her chest. “I… I honestly don’t know how to explain it,” you admitted. “It’s just, ever since you first came to Fontaine, she’s been inf—”

This time, you were interrupted by the door to your bedroom slamming open, your mistress appearing above the threshold – already posed with one hand on her waist and the other curled around the handle of a mahogany cane, her eyes shut and her smile wide. “Teyvat’s brightest star has returned!” She declared herself with a turn on her heel – a dramatic flourish worthy of a retired archon. “You would not believe how well rehearsal went, there’s already a—”

Her eyes flickered op, and whatever she meant to tell you died on her tongue as her gaze fell onto Arlecchino. Immediately, you wrenched yourself out of Arlecchino’s arms, rushing towards Furina. “My lady, it’s not—"

“Save your excuses.” Her voice was low, her tone steely. Furina posed no threat to you, much less to her, but Arlecchino still had to temper the urge to step in front of you – if only out of some long buried, sickeningly knightly instinct. “I can see what’s going on.”

A beat passed in silence, then another. Ultimately, Arlecchino took it upon herself to break it. “…you can?”

“For exactly what it is.” She pressed the back of her hand to her forehead, gasping sharply. “My greatest foe, here to use my closest confidant against me. I will not allow it! Whatever you plan to do with them – let me take their place. No matter what you plan to take – my mind, my soul, my body, I insist that you take it from me!”

Her rambling went on, but Arlecchino diverted her attention, sparing you a glance out of the corner of her eye. “She’s got a bit of a crush,” you whispered, smiling apologetically. “This is just how she behaves when she’s nervous.”

Arlecchino’s looked back to Furina. Upon closer examination, her cheeks were flushed, her movements erratic. As she described the torture she would go through for your sake in truly graphic and well-imagined detail, Arlecchino cleared her throat. “With as little respect as possible,” she cut in. “You’re not the one I’m here for, Furina.” She took up your hand, intertwining her fingers with your own and falling to one knee. You pursed your lips, but didn’t protest, content to let the gesture stand – if only for the sake of your mistress. “It’s your confidant who has my heart, despite how callous the hands I’ve entrusted it to may be.”

“But, my lady, my loyalty is with you.” For the first time, Arlecchino watched your expression wither. Your worry – not for your mistress’ safety, but purely for her happiness – would’ve been touching, if her selfishness hadn’t been the cause of your concern. “And… my love, as well. If you’d care to accept it.”

It was a pitiful confession, pale in comparison to even the meekest of hers, but it seemed to be enough. Furina took a moment to examine you, to evaluate Arlecchino where she kneeled. Slowly, she straightened herself, squaring her shoulders. “If that’s the case,” she began, finally, taking on an air that could be easily mistaken for dignified. “Then as the former sovereign of your nation and the mistress of this estate…”

She raised a hand, a near radiant grin painting itself across her lips as she encompassed you both in one sweeping gesture.

“I demand a threeway!”

[valeisaslut]

the morning is the muse-mdni (+18)

clic to read pt.1!

⚢ pairing: Shane McCutcheon (The L Word, 2004) x Reader 𖥔 ݁ ˖

ෆ synopsis: after the heated events of the night before, Shane and y/n try to make it pass as a one night thing, but feelings get in the way. It's your turn to realize that Shane is someone quite difficult to avoid 𖥔 ݁ ˖

⭑ word count: 2.12k 𖥔 ݁ ˖

♱ content: smut (nsfw), dom! Shane, sub! reader, oral sex (r!receiving), fingering, cum eating, jealousy, cursing, Shane and y/n are smokers, pet names, etc. MDNI!! 𖥔 ݁ ˖

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ Hii! first of all, thank you all so so so much for all the support in my first fic! I honestly wrote it more for myself than for it to be popular and i didn't expect all those kind beautiful messages and so many people asking me to write a pt.2! So here it is, I really hope you like it as much as i did. Sorry in advance if there are some misspelling or writing mistakes, english isn't my first language and I will be happy to receive constructive criticism! 𖥔 ݁ ˖

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

The dim and warm morning light seeped through the curtains of Shane's department, reaching your eyes and waking you from your slumber in a slow manner.

As you languidly opened your eyes, you started scanning your surroundings, not immediately comprehending your present location. However, in a matter of seconds, the flashbacks of the previous night hit you like a bus and a slight blush painted your cheeks.

The first thought of your sleepy head was to make sure of Shane's presence in the bed, so you rolled up to the other side, only to discover her absence.

You looked around the room, slightly confused but not really surprised. It was something that you could expect from a one night stand.

"Shane...?" you mumbled softly, still giving it a chance to dismiss your internal thoughts.

"maybe she just went and expects me to leave before she comes back" your inner voice echoed.

You were only in your panties, so you sat up and stretched your arms, letting out a soft sigh. You were ready to get dressed and start your walk of shame as soon as possible, but a sound coming from the kitchen stopped you in your tracks.

You felt footsteps coming towards the room, so you covered yourself with the sheets again. The door creaked open, revealing Shane's long and slim figure. She had two different colored mugs, one on each of her hands and a cigarette dangled from her lips.

She was wearing only a white tank shirt and black panties, her jet black hair all messy and her eyes were slightly black from the remnants of smudged makeup (that she didn't correctly remove after your shared shower).

Without a doubt, she was the hottest girl you had ever hooked up with.

"hey, you already up" Shane said, with an even deeper than usual morning voice, she came closer to you and offered you the cup "I was making myself coffee and I made some for you too, if you want it"

"oh, thanks" you said as you took the coffee and leaned back on the bed, sipping it and letting out a soft sigh of pleasure "I really needed that, thank you again, you really didn't have to"

Shane looked at you while taking a long drag on her cigarette, the morning light perfectly illuminating your face and your locks with a serene aura. Then her gaze went a little lower, discovering your bare body covered only by the almost sheer sheets.

"my pleasure" she responded to your gratitude with an alluring manner, giving you her very renowned Shane smirk.

You looked down at your cup, chuckling when you realized what was written in it.

"Best. lesbian. ever."

"nice mug you have here" you said, turning it around to show her the quote, making her laugh too "i'm gonna need the address of the place where you got this. immediately"

"I have no idea 'cause I actually didn't bought it" she responds to your request "it was a joke from my friend, she gave me that as a birthday gift last year"

"the quote is true tho" you remarked, still chuckling as Shane drew nearer, giving you a cute peck on the lips. "hell yeah it is" she purred, planting another kiss upon you, her passion and eagerness growing with each passing moment.

You reciprocated with the same initiative, as Shane put out her almost finished cigarette on the ashtray that laid on the nightstand. Both of you left your mugs too, quickly forgetting the coffee.

You sat up on your forearms and Shane crawled up over you, placing one of her hands on the mattress while the other one moved to your nape, deepening the kiss.

You placed your hand on Shane's waist, caressing the soft flesh as her kisses went lower, nibbling upon the sensitive skin of your neck and licking the already dark marks from last night.

Her hands traced lower, softly gripping your breasts and she separated from the kiss to attach her mouth to your nipple, sucking on it and squeezing the other.

She slowly moved towards your legs, her body getting closer until she was on her knees in front of you. As she did that, she gave you a look full of lust, her lips kissing and her hands gripping the supple flesh of your inner thighs.

With each second passing, the dampness in your panties grew more, yearning to be pleased. As a reflex, you attempted to close your legs, but her strong grip kept them firmly in place.

"be a good girl and spread your legs" she deeply whispered, and you complied without complaint. Her voice slightly muffled by her lips grazing your thighs, getting closer and closer to your sensitive spot.

You audibly moaned as her tongue touched the drenched fabric of your undergarments, licking a long stripe and sucking your wetness. Her teeth grasped the waistband of your panties, slowly drawing them down your legs with her mouth.

The sight was absolutely alluring, and turned you into a whimpering mess. Her hands squeezed your flesh once more and her mouth met your bare pussy, eliciting a resounding gasp from your lips.

She began to suck loudly on your clit as your head fell back in ecstasy, your eyes darted shut as you firmly grip her hair.

"Fuck! don't stop" you moan and as if that weren't enough, her deft fingers found their way to your sensitive nipple, teasing and twisting it.

“you like that, baby?” she whispered, her deep voice muffled by your pussy. The room was filled with the sultry wet sounds, causing you to writhe beneath her touch.

“oh god Shane” your moans only seem to heighten her desire, making her more eager, almost pussy drunk. She eats you out like she is a woman starved, and you are her last meal.

A broken "fuck" escaped from your lips the moment when her hot tongue started intercalating between fucking you and flattening against your clit, knowing that it was over for you.

Somehow, she delves her fingers into the mess and the overwhelming stimulation quickly drove you to the edge, making you cum all over her mouth with loud and broken whimpers, one of your hands gripping the sheets and the other roughly pulling Shane's hair.

A shiver courses through your spine when she used her tongue to clean up every last drop of your release, her fingers still inside of you, moving slowly to extend your high as much as possible.

After you calm down from your high, Shane hovered over you and pressed sweet kisses on your open, breathless mouth. She removed her fingers and sucked them clean before helping you pull up your panties again.

"i love the way you taste" Shane whispers in your ear, and you swore you could hear her smirk. You were just about to reply, but you both stopped your movements at the loud sound of knocking on the door.

"cominggg" Shane lazily said, putting on the first pair of pants and socks she found laying on the floor. She walked out of the room and the next thing you heard was the door creaking open.

"hey Shane, sorry to wake you up" a womanly voice says "I just dropped by to ask you if you could give me back my bra from yesterday, it's my favorite"

"oh, hey Laura.. uhh yeah, jus gimme me one second and I'll look for it" you hear Shane say as you felt her footsteps coming near the room.

You can't help being embarrassed, it makes you feel kinda ridiculous laying naked in a bed that yesterday was filled for another girl, so you start putting your clothes on and grabbing one of Shane's cigarettes, lighting it and taking a drag.

"It shouldn't bother me so much. it was just a one time thing. with a stranger. It doesn't mean anything, so why do I feel like this? god im so fucking stupid" your mind echoed while you got dressed as fast as you could.

Shane walked into the room, not even looking at you and just focusing on finding that piece. She opened a drawer and took out a pink, lacy, probably D-cup bra and just walked out. Your mind couldn't find a moment where you had felt more uncomfortable than this.

"found it, there you go" you heard her say "thanks babe, call me later" the girl replied.

"sure.... see you around" Shane responded, and you can quickly feel her closing the door and her steps coming closer again. You took a drag of your cigarette and grabbed your purse.

"hey hey, you are going already?" Shane confusedly leaned on the door frame while you were putting your clothes on, her eyes still lingering at your body.

"um, yeah" you responded while your mind struggled to make an excuse and tried to sound the most unbothered it could. "I forgot I have... a deadline today, so yeah.... i'm out, sorry"

"oh, ok" she said, kinda weirded out by your sudden attitude, but still understanding. You took another long drag, trying to figure out your next words.

"hope I see you around, some of these days" you say as you turn around to put out your cigarette in the ashtray. Your words were genuine, but at the same time you didn't know if you wanted to see her again. Your head was a complete mess.

"yeah, me too" she got closer to caress your check and give you a peck on the lips, smiling at you. You swore you saw her eyes slightly glint, but didn't give it too much importance.

You both said your goodbyes with a bittersweet taste on your mouths and as soon as you were on the elevator, you took out your phone and called your best friend Alice.

"Hey Al, wanna go to the Planet for coffee in like, 10 minutes?"

"so yeah, all that happened" you and Alice were sitting at a small table outside, both with coffees in your hands.

"well, that explains the hickeys all over your neck" she said, pointing out the dark fresh marks decorating your neck and collarbones.

"oh my god, are they THAT obvious?!" you responded covering your neck with your hands, completely embarrassed.

"I noticed them as soon as you walked in, you are gonna have to invest on some good concealer or a scarf" you laughed at her remark, but your laughter stopped the moment you saw Shane walking in.

"fuck, that is the girl I hooked up with last night!" you whispered to Alice, pointing at her under the table and trying to hide your face. Al turned to look at Shane's direction, and then turned again to look at you with wide eyes and a shocked expression.

"Shane?! You arrived from New York one fucking week ago and Shane already fucked you?? this is so fucking ridiculous, its like she has a radar for every girl she hasn't fucked yet!"

"shut up, Al! shit, she's coming, act normal" you said, freaking out.

"hey guys, didn't expect to see you here" Shane said, greeting you with a confused look on her face. Then, her eyes fell to your neck, noticing the dark hickeys and smirking.

"um, yeah... I just decided to grab a quick coffee with my friend on the way, Shane, this is Alice- " you nervously said.

"yeah, I know, we are very close" Shane says "unfortunately" Alice replies.

"well, see you both around, wish you luck with your deadline y/n" she says with a kind of sarcastic tone and turned around to go with Marina, Shane's shot of espresso already in her hand.

"what a tiny and crazy little world" you say, trying to process everything that happened in just an hour.

"crazy, yes.. but not tiny" Alice responds with a smirk on her face, already thinking of linking you to Shane and expanding her board.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

clic to read pt.1!

guysss please let me know if you want a part 3 and I will happily write it! I already have a lot of ideas. Hope you enjoyed and I'm very grateful for every repost, like or share you want to give.

(sorry again if there's any spelling or writing mistakes)

[a-small-safe-place]

Homelander x SingleMom!Reader

Building a Family

Homelander was walking to the daycare inside Vought. He did not think he would ever have to come down here, but he couldn't leave Ryan alone, and Ryan expressed clear displeasure about having to sit in Ashley's office. Ryan complained that Ashley smelled weird. Homelander understood what his son meant. Ashley consistently reeked of anxiety and fear. Of course, Ryan wouldn't recognize those smells; he was only ten years old. Homelander felt a pang of jealousy at Ryan's childhood innocence. He never had that opportunity. Dr. Vogelbaum and the rest of the scientists who raised him in the lab made sure of that.

Homelander entered the daycare area, and the few children left were chattering away. A little girl wearing a Homelander shirt ran up to him, giggling and reaching for him as if she wanted to be picked up. Homelander brushed past the girl and headed to the area for older children. Ryan walked over with a shy and somewhat awkward smile on his face. Homelander asked, "Hey, buddy, are you ready to head back up?" Ryan didn't say anything; he just nodded in response. Homelander understood that Ryan was probably overstimulated from being around screaming kids all day.

As they were walking out of the daycare are Homelander noticed the little girl from earlier hugging onto your leg while you chat with a daycare attendant. He recognized you as one of the top professionals on Vought's legal team. You were attractive, for a human, but you were still a human, even though your non-disclosure agreements had practically saved the image of the Seven. The little girl spotted Homelander and ran to him, clinging to his leg. You quickly scolded the girl, saying, "Sweetie, get off of him!" Homelander flashed his classic smile and lifted the little girl off his leg, while Ryan watched, somewhat annoyed and eager to go home. Homelander reassured you, saying, "It's alright; I'm glad to see I'm still popular with the kids."

You reached out for your daughter, saying, "She just really likes you. She has one of those huggable Homelander dolls and sleeps with it every night." Ryan quietly asks his dad if they can leave. Homelander seemed amused by your young daughter being a big fan of his and replied, "Oh, really? She must be my biggest fan, then." Homelander waved dismissively at you and your daughter, saying, "You two ladies have a nice night."

That night, Homelander thought about you. Perhaps you were more attractive than he had initially thought, and he couldn't help but notice your good physique. Even if you were just a human you could still be useful. You clearly possessed some good qualities and had the aptitude to be a good mother for Ryan if the situation arose. He decided to keep an eye out for you because he couldn't afford to appear desperate and let you know he was attracted to you. After all, he was Homelander, and you should come to him. However, your presence began to consume his senses and thoughts.

He smelled your perfume and your natural scent in the halls of Vought, heard your voice above all others, and occasionally saw you through the floors, unintentionally getting an up-skirt view when he used his X-ray vision to look up through the floors in your office. But you weren't showing any interest in him, which irked him more than anything. Homelander considered himself a god, and he believed that any woman would want him if given the chance. So, why weren't you pursuing him or trying to arrange to see him again when picking up your daughter from daycare?

Fed up with the situation, he stormed into your office. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked in an aggressive tone. You responded with uncertainty, "Sorry?" not sure what he was talking about.

"Don't play fucking cute. You've been avoiding me. Are you a lesbian? Or, God forbid, celibate?" Homelander inquired with furrowed brows. You didn't know how to respond. This man had the power to do terrible things, and saying the wrong thing could be disastrous for you and your daughter. Homelander continued, "I can't believe a woman like you is passing up the chance with someone like me. We're not even in the same league. No, I won't accept it. I'm coming to your house tomorrow, and we're having a date. Find a sitter for your daughter; just make sure she's not there. Nothing ruins the mood more than a child running around. If things go well, we can introduce our children to each other at the right time and become one big happy family."

With that, he left, without asking for your address or inquiring about your relationship status. You were shaken up, but at least you were still alive.

[sleepinthrumyalarms]

— DEVILISH

pairing: wednesday addams x fem!reader

warnings: smut, lesbian sex, edging, dacryphilia, slight degradation, wednesday is a sadist (as always), all characters are aged-up

summary: you make a grave mistake of teasing wednesday — paying the price is much more painfully pleasant than you think

word count: 1.4k

“Did you really think you’d get away with this?”

You look up to meet her gaze — Wednesday is still dressed in her uniform, but her blazer has been discarded, and the sleeves of her blouse are unbuttoned, the fabric hanging loose around her arms.

She seems calm, collected. Not a hair out of place. But you know better.

Her eyes are fixed on yours, and, despite the whooping difference in height, you feel like she’s looking down at you. The dark pools under her thick lashes are filled with something dangerous.

You squint — and you genuinely have no idea what she’s talking about at first.

“What?”

Her nostrils flare just a tiny barely noticeable bit — a subtle sign of annoyance you’re very much familiar with, and you’re pretty sure things will turn dire if you don’t deescalate the situation.

But you don’t get a chance to. Wednesday is in front of you before you can utter a single word in your defense.

“It’s endearing how you think you can play dumb, (Y/n).”

Her hands grip your hips, fingers digging into the flesh, and she takes a single step around you before tugging you down on the bed with her, and you squeal as you lose your footing and land on the mattress, back pressed into her front.

“You thought you were being sly, didn’t you? Brushing against me in class,” the girl huffs into your neck angrily, and her breath against your skin makes goosebumps raise up your arms, “Whispering those taunting things to me… Then dismissing me to divert all your attention to someone else instead.”

Oh… that. Yeah. That was exactly what you were doing, and the consequences are seemingly catching up to you now. You knew it was a dangerous game to play, too — Wednesday has made it clear who every inch of you belongs to, and she was never hesitant to prove it. To everyone. To you especially.

You can barely wait.

It’s a rather rare sight — Wednesday’s legs clad in smooth dress pants rather than her usual skirt, but you would lie if you said it wasn’t very much welcome as she presses her knees into your thighs to spread them, letting you rest against her, caging almost. You feel the soft fabric with your naked skin, and the contrast has you weak.

The ravenette sighs softly — it sounds like she’s melting from inside, and she wraps her arms a little more firmly around your waist. She leans back onto the pillows, and her hands don’t waste any more time to roam your body.

Your (f/c) mélange shirt bunches up at your waist — you were planning on sleeping in it, not having its hem raised by a certain furious ravenette. Her palm is cold against your warm stomach, and you shudder as she trails her hand lower, fingertips drumming and caressing your skin the way she would play her cello, teasing and calculated.

Her hand moves down to your inner thigh, pressing gently but with more force than before.

You whine — the fact that you’re still in your panties a frustration beyond any means of dignity.

“Take them off already,” you say with a small huff.

Black nails scratch at the soft skin of your thigh the second the words escape your lips.

“I don’t know what you think I owe you,” her voice is as firm as her hand, and she brushes her fingers upwards before coming down a little more softly, “But I assure you — I owe you nothing.”

She keeps caressing the inside of your thigh, slow but with purpose.

“Especially since you’ve been so very, very bad. So I will stay like this, and you can get as frustrated as you like.”

Your brows knit when her fingers trace the outline of your panties — you twitch under her touch. She’s barely there, but it’s enough for you to whine again. You’re warm under her cold fingertips.

“Fuck, Wednesday…”

Her digits slip under the fabric, and she moves your panties slightly to the side so she can press into where you need her the most — her fingers make contact with your pussy, and she breathes at how wet you are.

“Oh, would you look at that… Povera cara mia is drenched.”

Her hand moves in a small, tight circle, and your hips buckle to meet her.

She stops.

Her mouth is against your earlobe — she is breathing deeply when she speaks.

“No. You’re not getting anything until I hear you beg for it,” the ravenette’s pace is unchanging, slow and capable of driving you mad as her fingers circle your puffy folds, “I know you want it. And I’m not giving you anything until I see tears in those pretty eyes of yours.”

Fighting is no use anymore. Her thumb brushes your clit ever so slightly as if to encourage you, and you twitch.

“I have nothing against having you like this all night,” she says, “But I think you’ll regret it.”

You whine, arching your back into her body — the prospect of being teased like this not pleasurable at all.

“Wednesday, please…” you gasp out hotly, your gaze unfixed, “Please, please… It’s fucking unbearable.”

You feel her chuckle against your ear.

“This is unbearable? I can do so much more,” her voice is low, amused, and you think she might just act on her threat with how tight she grips your thigh with her free hand, “But you’ve listened, finally. I thought that empty head of yours would never be capable of learning to behave.

Her fingers speed up, but the change is barely noticeable. She doesn’t press too hard, too tight to actually let you feel her, and then two of her fingers sink in, making a moan tumble out of your mouth at the suddenness of the movement.

“Nevertheless, you have a long way to go. And we’re going to continue until you cry.”

Your stomach flips at her words, but you don’t get to mull them over. She pulls her digits out before she sinks them right back in, and this time the sound you let out is of pure pleasure.

Your mouth hangs open with the way you breathe so hard as Wednesday finds her perfect rhythm, hard but so, so damn slow, her slim but precise fingers filling you up completely.

The digits are cold as you smoothly take them in with soft wet sounds of your walls wrapping around her, and when you try to move your hips, try to take Wednesday deeper, she lifts her free palm from the supple flesh of your thigh to wrap it around your throat.

It’s not enough to choke, but it’s there. Cold, stern — a warning.

“You’re not allowed to cum from this. Only tears.”

Her hand slides down your body and slips under your shirt, up your ribs and finds leisure at one of your breasts, kneading firmly, pinching a nipple between her fingers. You watch her fuck you through half-lidded eyes, a coil tugging at your stomach, but she knows you so well — the pleasure she is giving is barely enough to sate.

“You’d better start crying soon. I’m almost done being merciful with you.”

You look up at Wednesday, rest your head back against her shoulder which she kindly allows, and there are wet drops forming on your lids from the painful pleasure, but they are yet to spill.

“Wednesday…”

She meets your gaze. A devilish spark in her dark eyes betrays how much she enjoys seeing you like this.

Her voice leaves no room for arguments. Wednesday slows her pace, the deprivation almost painful.

“Cry for me.”

Your chest heaves slightly, as if the air is being sucked out of your lungs, and warm tears finally start to slide down your cheeks.

“There we go,” she breathes, “Such a good girl.”

The ravenette presses her lips to your neck affectionately, feels your rushing pulse on your jugular, almost loosing herself in the moment.

“‘Nes, p-please…”

“I know, I know…” she coos at you gently, “My good girl, you did so well.”

Her thrusts speed up finally, and you wail when her fingers curl in a way that she knows makes you go delusional, the wet squelches of your cunt tightening around her mixing with your blabbering gasps.

“Come on now. Cry some more for me. We’ve got a whole night ahead of us.”

[pillarsalt]

hi um

I was? transmasc but recently I’ve been seeing a lot of really misogynistic sexist transphobic stuff from trans community and it’s just been totally accepted, even by other transmascs. It’s been going on for a while but recently there was a murder of a nonbinary afab person and yet the whole trans community here has been silent, instead screaming about a transfem user being banned or something? This isn’t the first time an afab trans persons suffering has been dismissed, but now right after this awful death, i see transfems making posts about how transmascs talking about their oppression are terfs.

I didn’t want to think about it but all i could think about was that it was weird how despite everyone claiming trans men have all this privilege, trans women always come first…they get the most representation, they get the fame the admiration and the opportunities, their voices are always the loudest and their problems always always come first no matter what.

But despite popular belief trans men’s issues aren’t actually less significant, in some cases we suffer far more than trans women especially in regard to sexual violence. Yet we are silenced. We are frequently left poor, we are discriminated against for our sex we are discriminated against for being trans we are discriminated against for being perceived as lesbians. Yet we are made to be silent?

Why are our voices less important than trans women’s?

And all I could think about was that this is how females are treated in every other area.

I don’t know what else to say… I tried so hard not to reach that conclusion because I don’t want to be transmysogynist but I kept coming back to it and I couldn’t find an argument against it. This is how females are treated. This is what male privilege look like. And if trans women have male privilege, then why the fuck am I sitting here letting them talk over me?

I just feel really really angry. Your a blog who I liked your art but I blocked you when I discovered you were a radfem, but I sort of had you in the back of my mind for some reason and now I feel lost and confused, and I don’t think I want to be part of the trans community anymore.

Hey anon, firstly I really appreciate your willingness to have an open discussion with me. This must be weighing on you pretty heavily.

Secondly, holy shit, you're right. While the entire website is treating this user's ban as a national travesty, I haven't seen a single person talking about Nex's murder despite how much they claim to care about trans people. That's really fucking low, and this situation does very much encapsulate the state of misogyny within the trans community.

And you're right, this IS how females are treated in every other area. Throughout history, the suffering and injustice women face is minimized, laughed at, ignored, and when we want to talk about it, we're shut down and told we're making people uncomfortable and our pain isn't that bad. And here we are again, with a female person's death outweighed by a male person's inconvenience.

The denial of sex-based oppression that permeates trans spaces is a blatant lie that can only be held together if nobody is allowed to acknowledge it, and those who do are punished. If the trans community truly stood behind what they say, discussion would be encouraged! The foundation of their movement would be backed up with facts and replicable science! But instead, they'll call you a bigot for pointing out systems of oppression you can see with your own eyes. Because if you do, transwomen's position as Most Oppressed, and therefore the final authority on what's right and wrong, collapses. You are correct when you say that it seems like transwomen always come first; I don't remember who said it first, but just look at magazine covers featuring trans people -- the transwomen are fully clothed CEOs, athletes, movie stars, but transmen mostly get on magazine covers for... being pregnant and half naked. Misogyny is built into every society on earth, and individuals simply calling themselves something else doesn't change that. And when you give male people free reign to be as misogynistic as they want without consequence, they'll grab that opportunity and hold on like their lives depend on it. The way they weaponize transmen's sex against them is indistinguishable from what 'cis' men do to 'cis' women, but if you ever speak out about it, somehow YOU'RE the one hurting THEM. They do not want transmascs to find solidarity with other female people, because then they would have to face the reality of their own place in a patriarchal world, and face the fact that there are experiences exclusive to female people and that we have the right to speak about it. I mean you see shit like this and the motives become completely transparent:

I do find it funny how hard the trans community and their allies work to prevent anyone from hearing what radfems have to say in case they "corrupt" you with mere words. A lot of the time, it's simply listening to transwomen themselves that sparks the feeling of "something's not right here" in your brain. That's what happened with me too. I'll tell you that most of us also used to be proponents of trans activism, many formerly identifying as trans too. You are seeing through manipulation, and I know it's quite shocking to realize. Even when I first started having doubts about trans rhetoric, I thought "well everyone else agrees about this, so I need to shut up and be nice about it even if I don't agree." It's an unpleasant place to be in. The cognitive dissonance is exhausting though, and it becomes impossible to ignore.

The mistreatment of transmasc people in the trans community by transfems is brutal, and It's hard to watch from the outside because I just want to say "Hey, you know you don't have to take this shit, right?" And you really don't. You are not at all a bad person for recognizing the frankly absurd amount of misogyny in the trans community. Feeling lost and confused is shitty, but it's normal for this situation. The best thing you can do is keep observing, keep reading, form your own opinions, and never let anyone tell you to shut up. Above all, prioritize yourself and your mental wellbeing. If you need to remove yourself from gender-related spaces and discussion for a while, that's totally alright. Just know you're not evil or a bigot for not blindly agreeing with everything the trans community has told you. Your opinions and experiences are worthwhile too.

[shirefantasies]

Coming Out to Thorin's Company as a Lesbian (F!Reader)

This was definitely not inspired by anything of late, no... 😅👉🏻👈🏻 Thought this would be a perfect Sapphic September kickoff 💃🏻

Warnings: angst in some (all happy by the end though!), minor suggestive joking

Balin

"Balin?" The sound of your voice, unexpectedly timid, had the older dwarf swiveling on his heel, tails of his maroon coat fluttering a bit about his boots. "What's that, lass?" "May I speak to you?" "Of course," he answered, spreading his hands. A tentative smile crept onto your face. "What was on your mind?" He prompted as you settled in at his side, scooting as close as you could to the warm folds of his layers. "Well, it's just that the others... I think they are trying to marry me into their families." Balin shook his head at that, a hint of amusement glinting in his deep brown eyes, though no dismissal of your situation colored the way he looked at you. "None of these old fools' little brother is the sort of husband you had in mind, I trust?" With a deep draw of breath, you straightened in your seated position. "Moreso that I am not cut out for that life! That I can never see myself as wife to a husband, rather..." "Wife to a wife?" Balin supplied, bushy eyebrows raised. Lighting up like a bonfire, you nodded, gazing into the dwarf's eyes as new. "You understand!" "'course I do. You're hardly the first I've met of your sort. Now I'll not say a word to the others. Unless you want me to give them a stern talking-to, of course." "That would be great," you giggled, leaning even closer into the musky red about the secure form at your side to take Balin's arm in yours, "Just like a father. That is why I trusted you first." "Like a father," Balin repeated in a voice barely above a whisper, lips faintly smiling and tears glistening in his eyes.

Dwalin

“Look at the two of them- stone-faced as ever.” “Quite a nice couple, don’t you think?” “Oh, certainly. They’ll shut down everyone’s fun together!” Neither you nor the warrior at your side particularly appreciated the less savory stories being swapped that night, at least in Dwalin’s words “in front of Ori. He hasn’t gotten it yet, no need to scare ‘im.” That combined with the fact you both wielded axes apparently meant you were destined to wed and raise five beautiful axe-swinging maniacs. “You’ll be the one getting shut down if you don’t cut it out,” Dwalin shot back. Smirking, you internally vowed to do him one better. “As if we’d ever be together,” you added with a snort, “Maybe if he had a sister.” “Ah.” The princes glanced between you two, then themselves. “Well, why didn’t you say so?” Kili asked. “We’ll try to fix you with Gloin’s sister-in-law instead!” “Anyone would be better ‘n you two!” The older dwarf bellowed in response, casting peals of laughter over the fireside.

Thorin

“You remove yourself from us.” “You should talk,” you shot back, glancing up to meet the king’s eyes. At that, Thorin gave a conceding smirk and the faintest nod, settling at your side and bristling a bit less beneath his imposing furs. “I have little to say to that,” he admitted, “Save that much echoes in my mind.” “Indeed,” you agreed, folding your arms tighter across your chest, “Though certainly my troubles way less heavily than yours. I heard what you went through.” With a brief nod, Thorin encouraged you onward. “The first time I had feelings for another girl, well…opening up about that lost me some people. Important people. I felt like all I could do was hurt. Myself, others. Only pain seemed to follow in my wake.” “Standing strong for ourselves takes great courage,” Thorin told you, “But every time we rise, we have more to draw from. Many a time we are the only ones we have. Let that fuel the fire I see within you.” He rested a hand on your shoulder, giving a tentative smile that you returned, this time with a nod of your own. Silence and solidarity overtook you as you stood side by side and reflected, no longer alone.

Oin

“Did I hear that correctly?” Twisting that steel trumpet in his ear in a manner your brain could only perceive as painful, Oin’s gaze slid up to fix yours. Expression falling, you exhaled quickly. “Yes. But please forget it.” Tone rushed, you made to walk away, taking one long booted stride before a hand caught your shoulder. “You misunderstand me!” Oin told you. “‘S not like I can’t imagine why!” Chuckling, he loosened his grip as the muscles across your chest and shoulders relaxed. “Nothing wrong with that. I’m just surprised you chose me first,” he told you, this time much more softly, “But thank you. Anything I can help you with, you need only ask, eh?”

Gloin

“You’re quite good with that thing, you know!” Wiping some sweat from your forehead, you grinned at Gloin, whose axe you’d just parried with your spear. He nodded to the betrothal bead you wore. “No wonder you’ve snagged yourself a dwarf for a husband!” Face immediately fallen, you averted your gaze, unable to face his look of pride anymore. “What’s wrong? What did I say?” “You may not be so proud of me,” you answered, heart thudding in your chest. “Why ever not?” Lowering his weapon, Gloin closed the space between you with a warm, concerned hand upon your shoulder. “I have no husband,” you answered, “But a wife.” “Why wouldn’t I be proud of you?” The older dwarf asked at that, tone incredulous. “You still snagged yourself a dwarf, didn’t ya? I bet she’s almost as beautiful as mine! Don’t you worry none, lassie, just show me a portrait if you carry one!” Moved, you sniffled, placing your hand over his. “Thank you, Gloin. You’ve been like a father this trip.” Turning away, the dwarf took his turn to sniff at that, suddenly claiming a bout of allergies.

Bifur

“Bifur,” you signed, “You know that you have been very dear to me. Like the uncle I always wanted.” Smiling, the older dwarf fixed you with a look of interest. “I hope you still see me the same when I ask you for this help.” “Help? Help how?” He signed back, leaning forward. “How best to tell the others I like women.” “Are they trying to marry you?” He jokingly signed back, smiling and chuckling. “Not that I’d let them,” you teased, “But I think some of the older ones are trying to get me with their relatives. You and your cousins have really taken me under your wings. I feel safe with you.” You saw Bifur’s body relax, his thick brows softening in their angle. “Of course I will help you. I have an idea! And we can find each other wives!” With a great heh heh heh, he guffawed, bringing you out into a burst of laughter.

Bofur

“Well, you would understand. You’re half dwarf, aren’t you, lass?” “Me?” You asked, an indicating hand upon your chest and a look of confusion upon your face. “I don’t even look like a dwarf! Any particular reason you think that?” “That was your sister you lived with in the Blue Mountains, right? Or your half-sister and whatnot?” “Bofur,” you laughed, “That was not my sister! That was my wife! I am no half-dwarf, simply married to one.” “You’re married…to a dwarrowdam?” “I know,” you cut him off, turning away. You’d heard plenty. The shock, the invasive questions, the curses, even, and hearing it from one so sweet as Bofur would rend your heart beyond repair. Better not to look at him. “What an honor!” His chuckle of amazement turned you back around to look upon his smiling face. “Dwarrowdams don’t just choose anyone, you know. Why do you think I have no wife yet? What’s the secret? You must know, eh?” Your heart glowed at the sight of his warm hazel eyes, the way he teasingly elbowed you.

Bombur

“Yer sighin’ again. Something on your mind, dearie?” Given the nature of your exhale, you felt a pang of reluctance, but Bombur’s eyes shone so sincere and you’d seen how well he cared for others firsthand. Giving you his extra blanket, drawing your coat tighter, picking the bits you didn’t like out of the stew he ladled you. Holding you back with an arm across you as a goblin charged. You inhaled that time, breathing in a moment of comfort as your muscles relaxed, fire crackling at your back. “I suppose there is. I worry.” “About?” “About what the others would think of me if they knew. If they knew, well… that I fancy women.” Bombur’s hazel eyes widened, glittered. “Ye do?” “Yes,” you answered, nodding. “Why, that’s great!” The fiery-haired dwarf lit up, grinning. “My oldest daughter would be perfect for you! I’d been wishing I could make a real daughter of you, after all, and here comes this blessing from Mahal! …well, I s’pose, if you like her of course, guess I’m getting ahead of myself…” The embrace you yanked sweet Bombur into cut off his words, tears glinting in both your fluttering eyes.

Dori

“The others don’t understand my appreciation for nice things,” Dori remarked over the tea you shared and the fine piece of jewelry you marveled over, a delicate brooch with intricate filigree and pale blue gems, “Feels like it’s all ale and dams with them.” “And what’s wrong with dams?” You joked into your cup without thinking. “Then again, most people don’t understand my appreciation for them either.” Dori’s eyebrows shot up, but before you could brace for his concerned chastising all he did was chuckle. “I understand that one. I myself have never minded who I make my home with. Beauty exists in every form and there is no point denying that. If you find that in a lady, stick with it. No one will ever please everyone, so you’d best please yourself, my dear.”

Nori

The weight on your heart tugged down like a thick pendant as silence descended, fifteen pairs of eyes upon you. You made to turn away, gaze turning downward, right as the figure rose from his seat. Nori. “I fancy a lass or two myself!” He chimed in, wide hands upon his hips. A smile rose to his lips as his eyes met yours; his head even faintly, almost imperceptibly, nodded. Somehow of them all you hadn’t expected Nori’s support, but as soon as he’d spoken raucous laughter and teasing erupted as hands clapped the pointy-haired dwarf’s back and a few hit yours, asking your type and fighting over who had the better barmaid off somewhere for you.

Ori

“You’ve been married this whole time?” Ori gaped at you, childlike awe evident in those big brown eyes of his. “I have,” you answered with a shy smile. “Please describe him to me! I’ll make you a portrait while you’re apart.” Him. Ori’s smile, his almost pleading look, was so earnest, though, that you found yourself giving in and describing first the shape of a face, the way hair falls. “Her eyes are-” “Her?” “Yes,” you admitted quietly. “It’s a wife? You can- Oh, why didn’t you tell me! I’ve got the features all wrong for that.” Scribbling away, Ori glanced back up at you. “So you married another woman! How did you meet? How did you know you loved her? I think you two would look beautiful together. You’re both pretty.”

Fili

“Are- are you alright?” Innocent and softly-spoken as they are, the words all but jump you out of your skin, whirling you around with far more guilt than was warranted. Just as everything these days. Fili’s eyes droop a bit at the sheer agony he sees on your face. “No, you aren’t, are you? You can talk to me. You know that.” Tears threaten your eyes at that despite your smile. “What would you do,” you ask him, your own words quiet, “If some of the people you kept closest would not accept you? All because they think your love is wrong?” Softening his gaze further, the dwarven prince steps closer, opening his arms to you. “I would hold those who do that much closer,” he answers. The outer leather of Fili’s layers rubs with the gentlest friction against your cheek as your head falls down to his shoulder, your arms curling around his sturdy form. His own hold the small of your back, rubbing small circles. “No love is wrong,” he whispers, “And the one who earns your love is a lucky woman indeed.”

Kili

"Alright, you caught me." "What do you mean?" Brow furrowing, you glanced back toward Kili, who made no effort to lower the folds of the tunic he'd begun raising over his head. When your eyes met his, he gave you a wink. "I think you know. 's all right. I've been thinking about it, too." You hadn't even realized it was possible for your forehead to wrinkle any harder until it involuntarily did. "Wait, do not tell me you think that I came here to gawk at you." The dwarf prince smiled at you, expression still impish. "I think we could settle on the term 'appreciating'. After all, it's not like I've never appreciated you." "You wish," you interrupted, finally breaking into a smirk of your own, "Kili, you git, I like women. I only came back this way because I left my coat." "Oh." He finally loosened his grip, dropping the fabric back over his toned chest. His grin fell back down and his eyebrows shot up. "Oh. Forget I-" "It's forgotten." "We don't have to-" "Of course we don't." "How about that harpist back at Rivendell?" "Gorgeous. Although visiting Bilbo's people I met this one hobbit and she's the one I really haven't stopped thinking of..."

Bilbo

“Bilbo, you know I…I have no interest in men.” The hobbit had been teasing you about the way one of his neighbors looked upon you, his expression softening at your words. “I see. Women, then?” At that, you simply gave a nod. “D-don’t worry,” he held up his hands defensively, “I understand. I don’t much have interest in anyone, really. Well, like that. Unless I get to know them, then maybe…. But anyway, I’ve never put much stock into men or women or… the things they do. Much more important things in life, hm?” Humming in response, you nodded and smiled, giving his shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “Like gold and mountains and adventures, right?” “Or a good cup of tea. Crumpets? Oh heavens, I’d love a crumpet right now.” “Me too, Bilbo, me too.”

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @kilibaggins @filiswingman @ibabblealot @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin @letmelickyoureyeballs @mossyskinn @wordbunch @tiny-and-witchy @th3-st4r-gur1 @fleurdemiel-145 @mistresskayla-blog1 @misabelle717 @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @evattude @noodlesduck | Reply/Message/Ask to join 🖤

[belovedzine]

"Butch-Femme lesbians have existed within the public imagination as stereotypes to be fought against, dupes of heterosexuality, toxic dynamics that are outdated and irrelevant– As Butch-Femme lesbians ourselves, we know that these claims could not be any farther from the truth. We know the hurt that comes from hearing our own community reiterating these messages when Butches, Studs, and Fem/mes have built our community to be what it is today. Even among other lesbians and queer people, we are an underrepresented group, often going unseen and dismissed. Butches and Studs are constantly accused of perpetuating toxic masculinity and emulating men, while Femmes are shamed for daring to love them for who they are. Accusations that ButchFemme culture upholds harmful gender roles and heteronormative stereotypes feels like a bold faced lie when historically (and presently), these dynamics exist to subvert these roles and turn them into something that can be safe and loving. Beloved, our zine project, emerged from our desire to celebrate that love and highlight the beauty that comes along with both identities. We want to revel in the love we feel for our community with those in it, and showcase as many different perspectives and voices as possible in the process."

Lottie Valiente (@toothfairyfemme), Beloved: A ButchFemme Zine Issue #01, Letter From the Editor

[frigid666]

re: why is radblr ‘like that’?

so recently i’ve been seeing some discourse among bisexual users in/orbiting the radblr space regarding its profoundly biphobic (and homophobic) culture. why is radblr hostile to bisexual women? why are lesbians and bisexual women constantly at odds? is this feud manufactured by outside influence? or is it inherent to the space? @watermelinoe wrote a great nuanced response to an anon who attempted to antagonize lesbian users. i agree with everything that was said, but i don’t think placing the fault on black-pill infiltrators and politically unserious edgy teenagers is the full story. this post is mostly in addition to that reply, but i figured i should create a separate post for my lengthy thoughts. 

for context: i’ve been working on a detailed post about the history and politics of the lesbian feminist movement (i.e. the political lesbian branch of feminism), as it is apparent to me that most of radblr is uninitiated due to how frequently its users conflate radical feminist principles and lesbian feminist principles. i still might finish that post at some point in the future, but i thought i should put some of the information i’ve come across while researching for that post out there now since it's become relevant.

one of the readings i found to be crucial in understanding how the culture of radblr enables biphobia (and lesbophobia) is sharon dale stone’s “bisexual women and the ‘threat’ to lesbian spaces: or what if all the lesbians leave?” (x) the title is inflammatory, but i highly recommend giving her paper a read. stone authored it in 1996 as a reflection on the culture of the canadian lesbian/cultural feminist spaces she was an active member of in the 1970s-1980s and provides a truly fascinating look into a niche community that i consider to be a spiritual predecessor of radblr.

the paper is quite dated in many regards. the most obvious being stone’s use of ‘lesbian’ to mean both ‘homosexual female’ (which is the only and rightly so accepted meaning of the word today in radblr) and the political ‘lesbian’ identity, of which the philosophy for is outlined as follows:

it was entirely possible to be a true female homosexual, or female bisexual, or even female heterosexual and be a ‘political lesbian’ and active member of communities like stone’s house on jarvis street. stone says that those voicing opposition to lesbianism as a choice were the minority, but i think this was largely the case because ‘lesbianism’ meant different things to different groups and organizations of cultural/lesbian feminists at that time. the reason i am reluctant to dismiss lesbian involvement in these spaces is because they were mostly born of lesbian (and bisexual) exclusion from other more mainstream feminist spaces and organizations by homophobic heterosexual feminists, as well as the marginalization lesbian (and bisexual) women in the gay liberation movement experienced due to lack support against misogyny by male counterparts. i am also reluctant to dismiss straight women’s involvement in these spaces because even into the late 1980s, lesbianism was conceptualized by many cultural/lesbian feminists as not needing a sexual component at all; all that was required from women to live a ‘lesbian’ lifestyle was prioritizing closeness and connections with other women and eschewing relationships with men (akin to radblr's idea of practicing 'micro-separatism' in one's day-to-day life in lieu of not being able to move to a women's land full-time). from my understanding, 'lesbianism' and 'female homosexuality' were not thought of as synonymous, which is why 'lesbianism' was considered a voluntary political philosophy, even by many female homosexual feminists.

all that said, stone’s descriptions of the jarvis house culture are very reminiscent of radblr culture (down to the usage of slang terminology like ‘gomer’ for men, the radblr equivalent being ‘nigel’ and ‘jakey’). this is because radblr culture is heavily inspired by cultural/lesbian feminist values, not radical feminist values. while both schools of feminism share similarities, lesbian/cultural feminism deviates significantly in its emphasis of separatism as the solution to the male supremacy and patriarchy present in all levels of society. meanwhile, radical feminism calls for a fundamental restructuring of society to eliminate women's oppression. radical feminism was never about female separatism. radblr culture is biphobic because female separatism 'as the solution to female oppression' will always require a politicization and objectification of female sexuality.

i normally wouldn't cite wikipedia articles as sources, but this distinction is outlined on the very top of the entries for radical feminism and lesbian/cultural feminism:

as an aside, this is why i find it very funny when radblr users try to 'kick out' other radblr users from the radical feminist club, because the beliefs these users are being kicked out for not holding (i.e. separatism as the means to female liberation), are conclusively NOT radical feminist beliefs. they are lesbian/cultural feminist beliefs!

the script of political lesbianism that radblr holds is "non-lesbian who believes inaccurately adopting the lesbian label is feminist action, therefore giving credence to the homophobic notion that lesbianism is an active, politicized identification choice, or born out of experiencing trauma from men, instead of a politically neutral, natural sexuality that some women experience." and yes, that is a large and significant aspect of why political lesbianism is harmful (and uniquely so to lesbians). but it also goes deeper than that. in truth, this definition is only surface-level. all women in feminist spaces can be guilty of holding and perpetuating polilez beliefs, and this rhetoric dehumanizes ALL women. through the political lesbian perspective, women's capacity for feminist action is made and broken by her sexual behavior - namely, her exclusion or inclusion of males from her sexual behavior - and by extension, her reproductive decisions (i.e. remaining childfree or birthing children 'for a man.') this is where the core harm of radblr's covert political lesbian rhetoric lies.

saying or implying that:

motherhood is compliance to patriarchy

engaging in relations with men is compliance to patriarchy

bisexual women have a moral imperative to only date women in order to defy patriarchy, and if they reject this, they are in kahoots with the patriarchy

patriarchy is defined by "sexual access" to women

lesbians are intrinsically 'better' feminists than non-lesbians

lesbians are inherently feminist, and choosing to not be living aspirational figures is a betrayal to womankind

patriarchy can be ended through female separatism

female sexual behavior can never be predatory or result in meaningful harm to others

men are fundamentally incapable of changing

and any other type of rhetoric that posits women's physical bodies as the territory for a gender war that can be "preserved" or "ceded" to the "enemy" in accordance to her sexual behavior (including reproductive choices, irrespective of her individual sexuality) ✅️ is political lesbian rhetoric. put radblr posts to the test; a good amount of them will contain or imply at least 1 of the above assertions. during a cursory search through recent/popular radblr posts, i came across several examples of this rhetoric:

i cropped out the usernames from these posts because my intention isn’t to single out any particular users for this behavior; these posts (and similar) have many notes consisting mostly of positive feedback and support, so its safe to say that these beliefs are widely held in the radblr space. the op’s are just the ones to put pen to paper so to speak. i don’t believe some of these sentiments are harmful or bad on their own either. i actually agree with some of them, especially the first one; although note its rhetorical similarity with this section of stone's paper:

however, in aggregate (and especially in addition to commonly held stereotypes about bisexual women and lesbian women that predate radblr), they create a harmful culture that covertly encourages women to objectify their and others' sexualities for political ends, which is never going to be a good or productive thing.

choice feminists and neo-liberals have run the phrase "don't rob women of their agency" into the ground to cheaply deny the power of gendered socialization and gendered consumerism, as they are quite allegiant to these systems for a variety of reasons. so i understand the instinct from radblr to not give it any credence, but handwaving women's (including feminist-minded women's) desire for children and/or romantic relationships with men as products of solely or even primarily patriarchal brainwashing that can be undone through enough cultural/lesbian feminist re-education, which is what many radblr users espouse, is just as cheap. 

for this reason, radblr is hostile to bisexual women, many of whom reject female separatism as the only means to female liberation and don't want to objectify their sexuality in service to this political goal. for this reason, bisexual women will be known as "traitors" and "fairweather." however, just as many bisexual female users believe the opposite and participate in disseminating political lesbian rhetoric (as do heterosexual and gay users). similarly, this is why radblr is toxic to lesbians who have deep friendships with men, who want to be mothers, who practice religion or don't believe in female separatism; their 'legitimacy' as lesbians is questioned, as there is the 'positive' stereotype (and key insinuation of lesbian feminism) that lesbians are naturally inclined towards feminism; and they are often accused of secretly being bisexual because these lifestyle preferences are viewed as in alignment with the patriarchy and therefore oppositional to the cultural/lesbian feminist perspective that reigns supreme in the space. radblr will not stop being biphobic (and lesbophobic) until it is free of cultural/lesbian feminist influence.

[uconnposter01]

Me and you

Warnings: Cursing

3.k Words

Chapter 1

October 2021   3rd person pov

Aniyah Sanchez was uncomfortable, she has been at this house party for 2 hours and if one more frat boy tried to hit on her or try to touch her she was gonna scream, she was only here because her teammates  wanted to go out and since they haven't in over a year she was down to come but now Aniyah's over it. It's hot, she's tired, it's crowded, and her teammates were preoccupied with other people leaving Aniyah alone on a couch in the living room surrounded by loud drunk students.

"Damn girl you are bad as shit" a male voice says in her ear way too close for comfort. 

"6 feet” Aniyah says, finding herself starting to feel annoyed.

"My bad" the guy next to her said, backing up a little 

 Aniyah looked at the guy over seeing a light skinned  guy with short curly hair and green eyes. Both of his arms are covered in tattoos, his teeth a vibrant white.

She could tell by the smirk on his face he usually got whatever girl he wanted and the way he shamelessly checked out Aniyah made her skin crawl. 

"I'm gay boo so move along"Aniyah says looking at her nails dismissing the man.

 "Damn don't be like that girl, so I can't even get your name,I'm Ant” 'he says flashing his million dollar smile. 

Aniyah took a deep breath hoping telling Ant her name he would just leave her alone. 

 "Aniyah'' She replied, praying that the interaction would end.

 "See, that was so hard," Ant says, sitting down on the couch.

“Why are you sitting down?" Aniyah questions her eyebrows furrowing  in confusion.

You don't want no friends?" Ant questions smirking.

     He didn't believe the girl next to him could be gay she is way too beautiful. Ant figured if he smooth talked to her and got her to take her guard down he would be golden. 

"Nope" Aniyah says, putting emphasis on the letter p. 

“ What you drink, let me get you a drink from the kitchen,” Ant says, smirking. 

“Fuck no” Aniyah says rolling her eyes.

”Damn, you kinda mean," Ant said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Not sure what to say,he didn't want to give up on the beauty,he was sure she was the most attractive girl in the party right now. He couldn't help but to stare at her hazel almond shaped eyes, they hung low and Ant couldn't tell if it was from weed or was it natural.

"I'm not mean enough seeing that you are still here trying to talk to me" Aniyah responds back rolling her eyes once more. 

"Sheesh" Ant mumbles.

Aniyah's standoffish attitude wasn't gonna deter him though. Once again Ant begin’s to stare at Aniyah, this time noticing how full her lips are,and he couldn't help but think what they would feel like wrapped around his dick.

 "Nigga can you stop staring at me" Aniyah snaps glaring over at Ant

"What's with the attitude shawty?" Ant asks, eyebrows creased in confusion. 

"I'm gonna say this nicely. I'm a lesbian, I'm not interested at all, leave me alone before I get real mean "Aniyah stresses, about to go off on the man.

"How you even know you gay?" Ant asks, disregarding what Aniyah said trying to scoot closer to the brown skinned girl.

 "How do you even know you're straight?" Aniyah questions.

"I'm serious, I think you haven’t got the right dick yet" Ant says, his eyes trailing down the girl's  body hungrily. Aniyah looked at the guy sitting next to her with pure repulse, not too sure Ant took the girl's silence as a cue to move closer and touch Aniyah's thigh.

"Don't fucking touch me nigga, are you fucking dumb dickhead" Aniyah yells pushing Ant away from her. 

"Why are you acting like a bitch, I'm being nice to you and everything, you ain't that cute to have that much of a fucked up attitude" Ant complains, his eyebrows furrowed in anger.

"Because I'm gay, I'm a fucking lesbian,I don't know why your dumbass can't grasp that shit, my body language and my words are telling you that I don't want to be fucking bothered, stop trying to talk to me, I'm not interested in your dumbass take the fucking hint!" Aniyah yells even louder. 

Before Ant could reply to the girl yelling next to him, someone behind him spoke up. 

“Yo, I don't think she wants to be bothered, move along” A tall blond said behind Ant.

    Aniyah looks over at the girl instantly recognizing her as a player on UConn's women's basketball team, she couldn't lie the point guard looked good, way too good if you asked Aniyah. The blond had on an all black Nike tech suit with low top panda dunks on her feet, her straight hair pulled back in a low bun.

"This you?" Ant questions the girl towering over him.

 "Yup, that's all me” Paige says, licking her lips and  looking past Ant and at Aniyah.

“Nah you lying, she’s pretty as hell he can’t be gay” Ant replies in disbelief. 

“You sound ignorant as hell bro, get the fuck outta here, ain’t nothing over here for you” Paige says glaring at the guy. 

“Whatever, shawty wasn’t that cute anyway" Ant gumbles, stomping away, angry he couldn’t take  Aniyah home.

  “My bad ma,I didn't mean to come over like that, but I overheard you and I couldn't just stand there and listen to that shit happen” Paige says rubbing the back of her neck. 

”I appreciate it, I really do,” Aniyah says, biting her bottom lip. 

She likes hearing the point guard call her ma, and between the eye contact and the nickname it all made Aniyah feel somewhat special and giddy. but the giddy feeling disappeared once Aniyah remembered that Paige is a player and that she has probably said these same things to other girls. After hearing so many stories about Paige from her teammate Jazmine she's not sure if she really wants to deal with Paige on a serious level, but she didn't mind having fun.

“What's up ma, you good?” Paige asks,her face etched with concern noticing a slight change in Aniyah’s mood.

 Her face etched with concern noticing a slight change in Aniyah. Paige is so excited to finally talk to the girl, she's seen her everywhere and she couldn't get the girl out of her mind,no matter how hard Paige tried. The first time Paige saw Aniyah on campus was in the dining hall, the second time she saw her was at the library and the third time she saw her was at her game sitting in the crowd and Paige ended up scoring 31 points that night.

As bad as she wanted to go up to the girl each time, Paige decided not to,knowing she has a player reputation. A nasty rumor that started going around on campus during Paige’s freshman year and not being sure if the girl to her left was aware of the rumors about her she never had the confidence to go up to the girl.

Paige was excited, as soon as she saw the girl walk in with the rest of her friends Paige knew this was her chance to talk to her. She proceeded to watch the girl from afar the moment she got here two hours ago waiting for the opportunity to speak to her.

After gaining some liquid courage and overhearing what was happening with Ant, she knew she couldn't pass up the opportunity to help the girl out and talk to her. Paige has let the girl slip through her fingers on three separate occasions; she refused to let it happen again. 

“Yeah I'm good,” Aniyah says, flashing a closed mouth smile. 

“You sure?” Paige asks scooting a little closer. 

“I promise I'm sure” Aniyah responds softly  looking in Paige’s eyes.

The energy around the two girls felt thick as they continued to look at each other, their stares filled with lust and longing.

   “Is this okay?” Paige questions softly, putting her hand on Aniyah’s exposed thigh. 

“Yes” says just as soft her eyes never leaving the intense stare of Paige's blue eyes. 

“What's your name ma?”Paige asks softly in the girl’s ear. 

“Aniyah” She responds just as softly, glancing down at Paige's lips. 

“Paige,” the blond says, holding out her hand to the girl.

 Paige kissed Aniyah's hand and she immediately started to feel  flustered trying to hide her smile Aniyah faced the other direction.

“You are so beautiful please don't hide that pretty ass smile from me, I love it already” Paige says while gently turning Aniyah's face back to her.

Aniyah's smile and the blush on her face grew even wider. Paige smiled back enamored by the braces clad girl, she wanted to learn everything she could about Aniyah she has never been this attracted and infatuated with anyone before especially not this fast.

 ”Do you smoke”? Paige asks after a moment pulling out a baggie with 4 blunts in the process. 

“Of course,” Aniyah responds. 

“Come out back with me, It’s hot, loud and packed in here and I wanna get to know you better” Paige says standing up.

Aniyah stood up with her and they walked towards the back of the house. Paige led Aniyah through the party with her hand resting on the small of her back.

 Aniyah couldn’t lie she became enamored with Paige in the short amount of time of being in her presence just off of the energy alone, she wasn't stupid though.  Even  though Jazmine’s words about Paige kept playing over and over in her head, and right now Paige is saying all of the right things that's and doing all of the right stuff.

Even down to her confidence that bordered on cockiness that was emitting out of her, It all screamed player and it made her nervous, but Aniyah isn’t looking for anything too serious right now, she couldn’t even look for something serious if she even tried so this could be a good thing.

The pair walked towards the outdoor couch, the twosome both picking opposite sides of the wicker couch to sit. 

“Why you sitting so far, come mere” Paige mumbles, lighting the blunt.

 Aniyah inhaled trying to not let her attraction for the girl make her make a fool of herself. 

 “That’s it ma, I won't bite, I mean unless you want me too” Paige teases, her eyes are already starting to become hazy. Paige passes Aniyah the blunt and she watches the girl inhale and look up in the sky.

Maybe I do” Aniyah flirts looking over at Paige passing the girl back the blunt. 

The vibe between the two was thick with tension, both semi lost in their thoughts about each other and how to proceed in the conversation.

  “Tell me bout yourself” Paige says, glancing down at Aniyah’s lips.

 “What do you wanna know?” Aniyah questions.

 “Everything” Paige states, turning to face the girl.

“Well I’m 19,  Aquarius gang over here, a Freshman, I’m from PA, my major is Sports Management and my favorite color is green '' Aniyah says rattling off basic information about herself. 

“Where in PA, and you know i wanna know your birthday mama not ya sign, lemme me know when that is” Paige says rubbing her hands together. 

“February 13th” Aniyah says, finishing up the blunt and pulling out another one.                                           "Damn, Ma you a stoner for real huh” Paige teases.

“Yeah” Aniyah says laughing and lighting the blunt, her eyes  glossy and red. 

“Back to birthday’s tho, it’s lowkey crazy that ya birthday is right before Valentine’s Day''Paige says laughing.

 “I know right, It’s pretty chill I guess,'' Aniyah says, feeling like she’s talking about herself a little too much. 

“You didn’t answer my other question though” Paige says, blowing out smoke, looking over at Aniyah intensely. 

 “ What question?” Aniyah questions her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

  ``Where in PA you from, I meant it when I said, I wanna know everything bout you” Paige says softly while staring at the girl.  

  “I’m from Upper Darby, it’s the Philly suburbs,” Aniyah explains. 

“Cool, cool Imma have to come see the vibe down there” Paige said smiling.                   

  " Okay I'll take you one day, I wanna know about you know, tell me about you though” Aniyah replies softly.                                                                                        “Well I’m from Minnesota, I'm 20, I play ball,  my birthday is October 20th and my favorite color is purple,” Paige responds.

  “Oh shit happy belated birthday, I'm sorry I didn't realize your birthday was a couple of days ago,” Aniyah says, playing with her fingers.                                                                                     

It’s aight ma, how was you supposed to know we just met like 30 mins ago ''Paige jokes.       

    “I know, but still” Aniyah says, pouting

“Do you like basketball?” Paige questions after another moment of silence.

   “Yeah, not as much as my sister though, I've even been to a couple of Uconn games” Aniyah says.

  “ How often do you usually go to the games?” Paige questions, licking her lips. 

  “Whenever I can really” Aniyah answers looking over at Paige, glancing at her lips in the process. 

“You be busy?” Paige asks quietly while focusing intently on Aniyah.

   “A lot of times yeah, I do gymnastics and sometimes I genuinely just don't feel like leaving my dorm, my sister goes to all of the games though,she said she's gonna get y'all to come to my meets” Aniyah rambles.

Paige’s heart drops a little hearing that Aniyah is a gymnast,  the chances of her knowing about those rumors have increased tenfold.

     “Who ya sister?” Paige questions her eyes glancing down at Aniyah’s lips.

    “Nuveah Sanchez” Aniyah answers.

    Paige’s face lit up upon hearing the Soccer players name, Nuveah and Paige had gotten pretty close during the 2020 school year, they really couldn't hang out or interact too much,however they would play Fortnite and text all of the time.

  “Nu-Nu is my dawg, she talks about you all of the time, she never said your name though or showed you to us, I would've remembered” Paige says once again glancing down at Aniyah’s lips.

  No matter how hard Paige tried not to look at Aniyah’s lips she couldn't help but to, they look so soft and smooth and she desperately wants to feel them on hers. Aniyah quickly caught on to Paige staring at her lips; Paige wasn't even being sneaky anymore she was blatantly staring at her lips. Aniyah didn't mind though, in fact it made Aniyah feel prideful and bold. Licking her lips Aniyah glances over at Paige to see her reaction. Paige bites her lip and clears her throat moving closer to Aniyah so there's no room in between them. Grabbing the blunt gently from Paige’s hand Aniyah lights it puffs and exhales.

“Can I try something?” Aniyah questions softly, grabbing Paige’s chin

   “Yeah of course ma” Paige says just as softly, her eyes low and her voice husky.

Aniyah takes a hit from the blunt and lightly puts her lips on Paige’s blowing smoke into her mouth in the process. Paige opens her mouth accepting the smoke.

   “Damn” Paige says, exhaling the smoke, her eyes dilated and low.

 Aniyah touched her lips still feeling Paige’s lips on hers. Paige wants to kiss Aniyah, the spark she felt when she had her lips lightly touched her lips still lingered. 

Your lips are so soft" Paige says softly while gently tracing Aniyah’s lips with her thumb.

"Thank you" Aniyah says, staring in Paige’s eyes.

"Can I feel them again ma?" Paige asks, her voice low, dripping with desire.

    Aniyah leans in, her lips softly gently meets Paige’s lips in a kiss that is firm and soft. Paige sighs into the kiss, her hands slowly sliding down to Aniyah’s waist. Breaking the kiss Aniyah rests her forehead against Paige’s relishing the kiss the pair just had. Paige wants to kiss Aniyah again, the kiss was everything that Paige thought it would be plus more. She wants to kiss Aniyah over and  over again. Before Paige could lean in and kiss Aniyah once again a voice interrupts her.

     “There you are, I was looking for you, i’m ready to go” Jazmine whines coming outside.

Paige separates from Aniyah after hearing Jazmine's voice not wanting the girl to catch them she didn’t have it in her to deal with a Jazmine  tantrum. 

  “Hey girl” Aniyah says awkwardly slowly scooting away from Paige. 

Jazmine felt anger bubbling up inside when she saw Paige with Aniyah, she had so many questions, why were they out here alone, and why did they look so awkward and guilty. 

“What’s going on with ya’ll?” Jazmine questions annoyance covering her features.

“Nothing, we just chilling,” Paige mumbles, looking down.

 Agitation and sadness spread throughout Paige once she saw Jazmine, Aniyah knowing Jazmine made Paige realize that she 100% knows about the rumors or that they sleep together which made Paige a little worried, she wants to try to pursue something with the girl, and those two big factors make things a little more complicated for Paige.

“You ready to go?” Jazmine asks sharply to Aniyah while glaring over at Paige.

“Yeah, just gimme a minute, I'll  meet you out front” Aniyah says dismissing Jazmine.

“I can wait for you here” Jazmine says sitting in between Paige and Aniyah.

“ Chill, we just talking,” Paige grunts, feeling annoyed. 

“You can’t talk in front of me?” Jazmine questions angrily at the blond.

“Why you acting like this”? Paige asks, looking over at Jazmine, her nostrils flaring in the process.

“Like what, I’m just waiting for my friend” Jazmine challenges.

“Whatever bro” Paige mutters her voice low and tense.

Aniyah sat clueless at the end of the wicker couch confused on the nature of the relationship between the two girls, Jazmine always says that Paige did her friend dirty, but this is a little too intense. Jazmine seems way too jealous right now for her and Paige to not be way more familiar than her just being a friend of someone that Paige fucked in the past. 

“Get my number from Nu-Nu, imma go head and leave, I’ll talk to you later okay” Aniyah says standing up.

“Aight ma” Paige mumbles standing up and pulling Aniyah into a hug.

Jazmine stares angrily at Paige during the hug with Aniyah biting her tongue not wanting to expose the nature of her relationship with Paige, she will be addressing Paige about this later.

“Let’s go” Jazmine huffs getting up.

“Jazzy slow down, why are you so mad?” Aniyah says as she struggles to keep up with Jazmine.

“We’ll talk when we get to our dorm” Jazmine grumbles.

“Girl what, I wanna talk right now” Aniyah says not appreciating how Jazmine is treating her like a child.

“Why did you do the opposite of what I said with Paige” Jazmine questions her voice tense with anger. 

Aniyah blinks, not wanting to go off on Jazmine, taking a deep breath Aniyah pauses before continuing. 

“Because I wanted to, why are you so mad about this?” Aniyah questions her eyebrow raised slightly.

“I told you all the shit did to my friend, and you ignore that and still go fuck with her”Jazmine says her tone confused.

“I don’t want nor can I do a relationship, so I’m cool with just fucking around” Aniyah says nonchalantly shrugging. 

Jazmine rolls her eyes and says nothing to Aniyah, knowing that she would say some smart shit to her, and she damn sure didn’t want to have any issues with Aniyah. Both girls get inside the uber the energy between them is icy and tense. After getting to her dorm Aniyah wordlessly goes inside her room. She truly didn’t understand why Jazmine is being so weird about Paige, she appreciates the girl for trying to look out for her but she’s good. She’ll just check in with the girl and make sure they are still good when the sun comes out. 

  After completing her nightly routine Aniyah laid in bed scrolling through Tik Tok, when she got a message that made her smile grow immensely.

          203-436-2177: Hey ma its Paige

                   Read: 1:20 AM

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Criticism more than welcomed

I hope y'all have a good day 💜

[vintagetvstars]

Nichelle Nichols Vs. Yvonne Craig

Propaganda

Nichelle Nichols - (Star Trek) - She speaks for herself. Legendary, iconic, at the forefront of feminism and civil rights in the 60s, she is a triple threat who did so much more. She volunteered from 1977 to promote recruitment diversity within NASA, including some of the first female and ethnic minority astronauts. Martin Luther King Jr. compared her work on Star Trek as a 'vital role model' to the civil rights marches. She refused to be dismissed, fought for visibility and shone whilst doing so. As a woman in stem, and simply a woman she means the world and stars above to me.

Yvonne Craig - (Batman, Star Trek) - 7 year old me didn't know she was a lesbian but she sure knew she liked batgirl

Master Poll List of the Hot Vintage TV Ladies Bracket

Additional propaganda below the cut

Nichelle Nichols:

She is the original badass babe. She was a black woman in a leading role on TV in the 60s, a trailblazer for black actresses for years to come. She is so beautiful and so awesome.

she's fantastic. have you seen her? paved the way for black actresses on TV even while her lines and scenes were being cut and improvised the most iconic uhura line in the series. (sulu: "I'll save you, fair maiden!" uhura, pushing him away: "sorry, neither!") she's incredibly talented and it's a crime the show didn't give her more screen time (or make her sing more often because she also has a beautiful voice!)

“Sorry, neither” in response to “fair maiden” was ad libbed by her. There’s a lot more I could say but what else do you need??

A sci-fi icon!

She was such a trailblazer, and Uhura was such an important character for so many people to be able to see on TV. Apparently Mae Jemison (the first African American woman to go into space) cited her as a reason she wanted to become an astronaut. She was just an absolute legend!

The story of Martin Luther King telling her not to quit Star Trek gives me chills. Representation matters. “Thank you so much, Dr. King. I’m really going to miss my co-stars.” Dr. King's smile, Nichols recalled, vanished from his face. "He said, 'What are you talking about?'" the actress explained. "I told him. He said, 'You cannot,' and so help me, this man practically repeated verbatim what Gene said. He said, 'Don’t you see what this man is doing, who has written this? This is the future. He has established us as we should be seen. 300 years from now, we are here. We are marching. And this is the first step. When we see you, we see ourselves, and we see ourselves as intelligent and beautiful and proud.' He goes on and I’m looking at him and my knees are buckling. I said, 'I…, I…' And he said, 'You turn on your television and the news comes on and you see us marching and peaceful, you see the peaceful civil disobedience, and you see the dogs and see the fire hoses, and we all know they cannot destroy us because we are there in the 23rd Century.'"

She shared the first interracial kiss on Star Trek, helped propel real life African American women into space-related careers, and looks divine in a mini skirt.

HOW DID UHURA WALK BACKWARDS SO FAR??? WOW!

[destinygoldenstar]

Due to the results of the election, things look bleak. And I live in a red state.

So in case anything were to happen, I want to be open about my experiences a lot more. I'm going to try and live as long as I possibly can, and I can tell you that if I get jailed, assaulted, or killed, it's NOT by my hands.

I'm an asexual lesbian woman in my twenties. I live in a red state.

When Donald Trump became president the first time, I was still a kid. So I couldn't get too caught in the crossfire of what he was doing during that term. That, and I had not figured out my identity yet. It wasn't until a couple months after Trump became president that I discovered from Internet browsing that "Wait, men x woman is NOT the only form of romantic love that exists? You can do that?"

Before that, I've been writing since I was six, never stopped and became self taught how to write fiction. Even as a kid, when I was a shit writer and just ripping off from the media I consumed, I would always make the straight pairings a 'friendship' between two girls instead. Because it was what I understood then. For awhile, after I got out of the phase, I dismissed that as me being a mansogynistic child. But no, turns out there was more to the story than that.

There was other things that became hints as well before I became aware who I was. When the other girls in my school were gushing about cute boys and teasing about 'do you like this boy? You talk to him so obviously you like him.' I would be in my corner minding my own business, not interested in the topic. When it was directly targeted at me, I would say 'yeah I like him', because due to my autism, either my reaction sent mixed communication signals, or I would think they meant platonically. Then they would either tease that I confessed to romance, or they would get I got it wrong and say 'I meant as a boyfriend'. And I wouldn't answer because I didn't want to be rude.

What was wrong with only seeing boys as friends? Well back then where I was from, everyone assumes everyone is straight. A boy talks to a girl, obviously they're gonna smooch.

So I, as someone who didn't know queerness existed, had to assume I was like that as well. And I was just "Not old enough to get it".

And then as I get older, that mindset turns into 'men and women always want to kiss and fuck each other all the time'.

But I wasn't interested in that at all, especially not the fucking. But there was no awareness of queerness in public and I didn't use social media, so I had to assume I was like that as well, just that I wasn't old enough to get it.

Which that became a weird excuse, I learned how babies were made when I was SEVEN.

All the while, while I NEVER dreamed of ever fucking anyone, I still had some PG-Loving fantasies about the women in those 'girls cartoons' I'd watch. Winx Club, Totally Spies, the Disney Princess Movies, etc. I read the Sailor Moon manga ALL THE TIME in Middle School. I was NEVER interested in the boys they were into, and I would never get it. Even as a kid.

Maybe I was just someone who was into femininity. Maybe it was something about how they'd stylize their hair or fashion, or their softer voices, or their more delicate approaches that touched my heart. In a way male characters didn't.

Later I would realize that applied to real life too.

Then my family watched the Cinderella Live Action Remake, and let's say, I found it magical. After the movie, my mom told me "You'll find your prince one day."

She assumed I was straight. Like everyone does before they get told otherwise. She assumed I was fantasizing about the prince that swept her off her feet. But... I wasn't. I was more interested in Cinderella herself and her pretty dress and eyes and how she stood up for herself to leave her abusive household. (Celebrity Crush?)

Then there's when my family got me in the MCU. You know, before Phase 4, which after that... EW.

My family would always GUSH about how CUTE these MEN were, as celebrity crushes. And they kept saying this was completely normal. My mom was a HUGE Captain America kinnie, my sister was into Thor (& Aquaman), etc. And I... did not get it. I didn't get any crushes on any of these guys. I liked them as characters, but crush? No.

And my mom was confused by it. Why isn't my daughter blushing mad at these movie men?! "Well maybe she'll like the actor for *this new MCU male character that shows up later*."

Nope. Nothing.

You know which celebrity from the MCU I did consider hot though? Scarlet Johansen. But I was casual about it and didn't say a word and kept it to myself.

I guess it clicked to me too late what I was ACTUALLY interested in.

Not in a 'I wanna fuck them' way. HELL NO. But I am an ace who doesn't have a problem with casual kissing. Dating someone? Sure. Potentially marrying someone one day? Of course. Isn't that normal romance and what people value in their crushes? (In person crushes, obviously.)

And then there was my 'first boyfriend'. BIG quote on quote there. He was a guy a year older than me in my school that CLEARLY was crushing on me. He would constantly follow me around to try and talk to me awkwardly, compliment me, etc. (Would I say 'stalker'? Not really. He could've been worse.) And I just found it AWKWARD.

He once tried to put his arm around me lovingly, and I was uncomfortable and made an excuse to leave.

I later talked to my mom about it, and she suggested I avoid him. And I did. I never talked to him again.

Was that the right call? Not sure. But I don't want to know what relationship that would've been if I did accept his loving gestures.

And he was just the first. Through Late Middle School and Early High School, a TON of boys were after me and wanted me. And they became OBNOXIOUS about it. And EVERY TIME they confessed their love to me, I would always, right there and in front of everyone, reject them.

That didn't stop them, as they would proceed to bully me about it and get in my face about them LOVING me. Or something.

It turns out most of them were just a 'this girl is hot' thing. Some even admitted that. I asked one guy what he liked about me. He said "looks". And when I asked, "Anything else?" And he said "Nope."

That boy was a MISOGYNISTIC PIG btw. And NO SHAME too. He constantly bullied me and made jabs at me, and he said the reasons were, "Because you are a woman. You belong in the kitchen."

I'm NOT exaggerating, btw. This is actually straight up what he said.

From then I became self aware and insecure about my appearance. Like, I'm hot? People think I'm hot? For awhile, I wanted to try and ruin my appearance so I wasn't so 'traditionally attractive'. I would draw a marker all over my skin, for example.

I mean, sure, these boys were assholes. And sure, people there, before I moved, hated my personality. They like my appearance, but the moment they get a taste of who I am, they say, "What a WASTE of good looks for a woman."

But I DO NOT want this to come across as "I'm queer because I hate men". Because I don't. It was just where I was and how the boys treated me back then. Nowadays, I have a couple of male friends who are good people, and don't treat me like dirt. It's just that I only consider them friends.

Combine all of these experiences, and I guess I subconsciously realized "OH MY GOD... I'M GAY."

But I never CONSCIOUSLY wanted to confront that. You know?

I only knew of the gay people on TV at the time. And in real life, I only knew one girl that was also lesbian, but uh... she was toxic, and really hurt me, and I DON'T want talk about that.

Everyone else in my real life was straight. And openly so. I was the ONLY person in my life that wasn't. And without social media (I didn't get it till I was a proper adult), I thought I was a broken human being.

"I couldn't like girls! I'm a girl! I'm supposed to like boys! I just haven't found the right boy yet, that's all! I'm not queer! I'm not broken! I can't be more broken than I already am!"

And people already WEREN'T very accepting about me being autistic. Something I outted. And what proceeded was years of bullying, discrimination, and ridicule. Even from adults. So if anyone started to process I was gay? I WOULD BE DEAD.

And then it happened. This AMAZING girl is a part of my life, and something clicked between us. And I started to process that she really liked me. (She's demisexual) I mean, I already knew she did, we've been friends for awhile before this, but there were other feelings she was blossoming for me. Romantic feelings. I didn't confront her about it because I had to think about it myself. And then I realized it myself. I had feelings for a real life person. Romantic feelings.

A couple months later, we confessed to each other, and we became official. I'm still with her to this day, and we're in a very loving healthy relationship and we feel safe and supportive of each other.

I wish I could say that I 'came out' properly to my parents, but I didn't. Six months into my relationship, my mom caught us, and found out.

I didn't tell my parents I was gay, they found out. Simple as that.

One, it had to do with fear that they wouldn't accept me. Two, I found it RIDICULOUS that only gay people have to come out.

Straight people don't! Everyone just assume you're straight until you tell them otherwise! At least bi and pan people have an easier time pretending they only like the opposite sex!

So I just... didn't want to tell them.

I did end up coming out to my cousin on the phone, the first person I properly came out to. And all he said was a casual, "Okay. Nothing wrong with that."

Which did make me feel better and understand I wasn't broken and I was valid.

So when my mom found out about us, she confronted me about it. And I told the truth and confirmed that I was in a relationship with another girl. And... she only expressed confusion. She said I could be whatever I wanted to be, but it's clear she didn't understand it at all. Neither of my parents did.

A few days later they made it clear that even if they didn't understand it, they were going to accept me, and they broke my fears by making it clear they were not going to disown me.

My mom told me that I shouldn't be open about my sexuality to anyone else. It's 'inappropriate'. "We will accept you, but there are people in this world that won't. They will bully you to no end and hurt you."

To which I responded, "They already don't accept me."

Referring to the years of bullying I endured for my autism.

I mean, to this day, I still love my family, and are grateful they love me and want to do everything for me. But only now is my mom getting around to trying to understand my autism through research. There's something to be said about whenever we're in public, or my mom is talking to a friend of hers, she refers to me and my GF as 'best friends' and nothing more. Or how she talks about how I haven't found a boyfriend yet.

It's because of this, that when asked, I use the vague gender neutral term 'partner' when talking about my relationship in public. So while I'm not 'hiding', I'm not opening myself up for backlash either.

It just, sometimes, feels weird. While my family and my GF's family accept us, everyone else in our families are straight, as far as I know. We are the only two queer people in our family.

As for my asexual side of my identity and how I figured that out, there's not as much to the story other than what I've already said. I never found any desire to have sex with anyone, and I found the explicit material of that subject matter revolting. I always did, and I never grew out of that. Whenever someone at school started talking about something sex related, I turned the opposite direction.

One time I couldn't, much after I got my relationship, and I said very bluntly I didn't care about sex. Then they asked "Are you asexual?"

And I researched it, and realized, "Yep. That sums it up."

I told my GF that same day, honesty is the best policy after all, and she strongly accepted me and promised not to make me do anything I was uncomfortable with. And she never did. Love her.

I did research, and realized, YES, Asexual Lesbians EXIST. You can be Asexual AND be a Lesbian. There's no contradiction.

It just makes my identity more specfic.

I admit, I'm still trying to come to terms with my identity and that I'm not broken. There are times where I feel like I am, whether it's liking girls the way I'm supposed to like boys, or having no sexual desire.

And still, to this day, where I work, ALL of my other co-workers are straight. Or at least, either straight, or hiding. I am the ONLY queer person I know in my community. (Well, aside from my GF, obviously)

So when the Election happened, is it any wonder how scared I'd be?

I casually admitted to a few of my co-workers that I'm dating a woman. And I haven't been 'harassed' by any of them. Mostly because where I work, there's a bullying policy and they would get fired.

But NOW? Living in a red state? With people I work with and for casually supporting Trump's win? I feel UNSAFE. I feel ALONE. I feel like if I tell someone the truth, I'd get arrested or assaulted or something. It's bad enough that I'm a woman. But an autistic woman? A queer woman? BAD COMBINATION.

Just the other day I was working, I confessed to being terrified of the election results, and why. And there were two people I told this to.

One of them gave me a warm and caring hug and told me I would be looked after and we would be okay.

The other person I told this to looked at me in confusion and told me, "There's nothing to be scared of. Things would be far worse if Harris won."

I don't like Harris either, but they don't know that. Trump WAS in office once, so we had something to go off of.

I should be appreciative that the place I work at has told me I'll always have a safe place there and nobody that works there will hurt me, and they wouldn't let anyone hurt me if they could help it. And I am.

But there's something to be said about the people around me DISMISSING my fears. Dismissing that I am at far more risk of assault now. Dismissing that I could lose my opportunities to work and get money to feed myself now, if any laws are to get signed against neurodivergent people. Dismissing that there's now going to be more backlash for queer people more than ever, and people that will treat me like a disgrace and a villain.

Living in a red state makes this worse. My body is sensitive. If I ever get pregnant from rape, I could DIE. My GF is on disability, so if she ever gets pregnant, she could DIE. We both could DIE.

But I wanted to get my story out on the Internet, because if that ever were to happen, if in the future I get killed, I want to make it clear that I am choosing not to give up now in the present day. I am choosing to live with myself. And I am choosing to NOT abandon my GF and stay with her. Even with the backlash we'll get. Because I love her, and it's nobody's choice but my own to be with her.

Because THIS IS ME. And no one can take that away from me.

And whether I die from getting killed, or I survive the four years and die of old age, I choose to die as ME. And as nobody else.

And my story will be here, so even if it gets lost, it can be found.

You Are Not Alone. We Are In This Fight Together.

Keep Living. Keep Holding On. They Can't Take Our Identities Away From Us.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

When I was 13 I started to play my favorite game semi-professionally. I lied about my age to everyone since I didn’t want people to dismiss me or treat me differently because of it. It worked because I already knew English pretty well and am a cisgirl so my voice being kinda childish didn’t raise immediate red flags.

Eventually I made friends with a guy who was about 21, he was first my mentor and then we started to hang out a lot outside of that. He was a good friend to me but he started having feelings for me, as he later confessed to me in a call. I didn’t know how to reject him and what I felt, but either way I knew I was lying to him about my whole identity and that there wasn’t a world where it worked out (Now I also know that I’m lesbian and never felt anything other than platonic feelings for him). But the first time that confrontation happened I just avoided telling him about my real age and instead said that we just wouldn’t work or something. We were still in contact the week after that and he kept trying to guess the real reason I rejected him to the point of me breaking down in tears constantly because I really didn’t wanna tell him and ruin everything, my reputation in the small comp community and all my friendships included.

His friend convinced me to tell him the truth eventually. Obviously we stopped talking after that and I stopped trying to play competitive. Some time later I heard that there were rumors of him being a pedophile in the community, but he was still playing and had all his friends supporting him. I still feel like I made everything worse than it needed to be and obviously if I hadn’t lied in the first place nothing would’ve gone wrong, but I also wouldn’t have met so many great people.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?