#disconnect w/ ur emotions could be a lot of things

[no-empathy-culture-is]

questioning low/fluctuating/no empathy culture is having too many questions and too little reliable sources. I only trust tumblr cause google already tried to tell me the usual 'empathy makes people better' bs. I've always had a disconnect bw my emotions? that I've always described as dissociative in my writings but only cause i have never found a more fitting word. but I'm pretty sure i don't have any personality disorders/mental illnesses per se but uh? These feelings of disconnect and forgetfullness and a sort of brain fog? They keep fluctuating? When i remember them very clearly when they're going on but readily dimiss them once past? The past year i was super productive and stable but these couple months? Not really? Can someone please help, if u find my experience relatable at all or have an idea of what it might be? Thought i should mention: I'm aspec too. Aroace, aplatonic, loveless and non partnering.

This blog is a boon btw <3

questioning low/flux/no empathy culture is

[kuromi-hoemie]

how do you personally view sex/sexual attraction? what differentiates it for you, and what was your journey like? also your hair looks so good im jealous 😩❤️

im p stoned n in the middle of ori so i don't wanna rant(too much, but also oops) abt it rn lol, but I don't have sexual attraction 0:

ppl just b looking real pretty and i am looking affectionately. sex itself is just part of a shared experience to me and its a lovely way to be affectionate (❁´◡`❁) ♡⁠

there's a level of passion that ppl only really show when they're having sex with someone and if i could just have that without the sex that'd also be really great. i can and have made out all day, i love being handsy, i love being close in each other's embrace, i love the sounds and faces people make when they're losing themselves, i love Everything about when ppl cum, i also get a kick out of making someone as horny as possible bc it's fun, i love BITING people ☝🏾😤💕 i love the feel of our skin pressed together

idk i think it's all very fun and passionate and sweet! but then on a more casual note i got a huge oral fixation and if i know you like that, eating pussy's as casual as a kiss on the cheek and is more like me just stroking your back 🤧 it's just There ykwim i salivate over it.

the root of why i do things isn't because I'm horny and I Want You like that but more so from a place of wanting to take care of you bc i know you enjoy it 🤝🏾 and seeing/making you like that is enjoyable to me bc i know ur feeling good physically and emotionally.

tldr i move with my heart not my dick 🫡 but that's not gonna stop me from making someone cum as many times as they can handle bc I'm having fun and it's hot. as far as most ppl are concerned u still get to hit so whatever. if i think you're cute I'm trying to put u in a series of situations..

the only hurtful recurring issue I'd have before was ppl assuming I'm trying to have sex w them just bc we're making out like.. I'm just having fun and spending time with u, it doesn't have to be more than this. but then i let ppl escalate it and happily follow along but would always be confused and hurt low-key when they'd stop being as affectionate one day bc we've been having too much sex and like. i didn't know why those things had to be bundled together 🙈 it wasn't a big deal but i didn't get it, and it's hard to know u are missing a whole ass kind of attraction when you've never experienced it before!!

there are a lot of other slight disconnects that'd come up here and there over the years internally as i tried reconciling how i (didn't) feel with what the norm seemed to be and what ppl wanted of me, i only Really truly found out what being ace was in the past year as i tried answering the seemingly simple question of “do i like sex??¿” to which the answer was basically i love everything about it as a shared experience but as just a kind of affection it's also very besides the point To Me. enjoying sensations and connecting with each other are very 🤌🏾✨💕

coming from a more emotional/affectionate place this also makes me very flexible w kinks bc idk why not i would do anything for you.. but there are definitely simple physical things that make my brain go fuzzy, and i like to shut off and enjoy myself 😵‍💫😵‍💫 anything with my mouth is a big one but i like to be touched and grabbed too and being the dom is nice. why not lose myself in sensation 💆🏾‍♀️ i have a very sensitive body and i enjoy it.

but also as far as losing ourselves in sensation goes, that extends to everything (❁´◡`❁) ♡⁠ i cook and bake with decadence, i love to give massages of all sorts, i love being cuddled up and warm, i love putting on something fun for us to watch or do, i want to go on beautiful hikes and picnics in the garden with you, i want to experience Everything w you and enjoy all of life's pleasures. being polyamorous this also extends to friends bc there's nothing I'd do for a lover i wouldn't for a dear friend of mine 💁🏾‍♀️

um. i could talk in all directions and probably go in circles about the topic for a lot longer/more in depth but u get the gist of it 🫡 it's very easy to participate in and enjoy sex as an experience without that layer of sexual Attraction being what guides you To Me. ur still very lovely and seeing you naked is even more beautiful and I'm going to take my time exploring all of u ♡⁠ no matter what we're doing exactly I'm just trying to share a good time w you.

figuring out I'm ace made every disconnect make sense and everything clicked and it make me more sexual bc i firmly know where I'm coming from and what i actually get out of sex in general now👍🏾 there's an indescribable layer of hesitation in how i move and interact w others that's not there anymore, but that starts to bleed into self confidence and polyamory and other off topic stuff so yeah. good stuff. sorry my high rant was a lil long (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) consider this some sleepover talk lol

[strawberrystepmom]

wait actually now I want 2 know. what does gemini moon + aries rising mean w virgo sun … i think i have a libra venus … astrology is an enigma to me i envy ur brain sm ur so cool :0

oh i like this combo. a heavy air influence usually makes for a fairly slow to anger person, pretty easy going and sociable although i think virgo probably really grounds you and makes you not breezy or unaffected as air signs can come across.

so the basic functions of each of these placements bc idk how familiar you are with them. moon - internal thoughts/emotions/deep desires, sun - your mission statement in life, rising - how others perceive you, venus - the way you love and like to be loved

so virgo sun is a favored placement of mine. i feel that they are very much misunderstood in the sense that their stereotypes tend to be really negative for no reason. virgos feel like home. they are steady, consistent, and involved. they are wonderful friends and partners but they tend to be a little anxiously dispositioned and because of this can sort of invent issues within themselves that are the reasons things aren't the way they want them to be. there's a touch of self sabotage in virgo particularly because there are a lot of internal boxes they tend to force themselves to check.

tbh though, i find virgo suns tend to not have as much of that self sabotage gene as say a virgo moon/venus. they're able to present themselves to the world as put together, reliable, intelligent, grounded, very very level headed and i think that keeps the tendency to pick at oneself in check.

gemini moon probably does make your virgo sun a little nervous at times. gemini doesn't like hard and fast decisions and it doesn't like to truly commit to anything because that keeps you from knowing everything. how this can look when dealing with internal emotions is thinking things over, not being able to come to a decision, saying fuck it whatever and moving on which is valid but virgo sun likely has some issues with this. virgos are deep thinkers and i think if you have ever found yourself anxious or really questioning your decision making ability, this could be where the disconnect is coming from. this is not a fundamental issue it can be worked through but you have to find a way to strike a balance between that noncommittal approach to your emotions ("maybe i'll change my mind later") and virgo's need to have things writ in blood ("this is how i've felt about an issue my entire life").

aries is an action placement and there might be a bit of friction between sun and moon here again because so is virgo but virgo likes to think and plan before they move. aries will have you jumping up before you've even fully processed a situation. you likely come off as interesting, witty, involved, maybe someone who is the "yeah fuck that!" voice in the crowd when your friend is mad at something. let the doer energy carry you but remind virgo that she doesn't always have to be in charge for things to work out.

libra venus - a lover girl placement that can sometimes cause trouble. as a fellow air venus all that we really want in life is to be chased, courted, flirted with, etc. forever. of course the peak of this experience is finding someone who will do this for you forever but if you don't find that person, you may tend to want to look at your options. air venuses are common for having open relationships or other unconventional relationships for this reason although i will say this extends less to libra than it does the other air signs. you are likely a really affectionate person and very giving to your partner. super complimentary, lavishing them with words of affirmation and praise, and as long as you're getting that back you're set.

[tasteofgummies]

Good day, saw one of ur dynamic things and i wanna give it a try, so may i request for a dynamic w/ giorno? 👉👈 ( ignore if u want tho ) To start off i’m 148cm, she/her! I’m really loud with people i trust but quiet with my family + others, Also I’m really opinionated. I love dyeing my hair and playing the guitar. And I’m Filipino, though i cant speak the language 😭 And on the downside, i get stressed really easily especially when under pressure. + I use Giorno as my muse for my creative work

Giorno x you ✨

>Giorno is a quiet person, so in the beginning he would feel self conscious that he can't match your energy

>On his behalf tho, he's perfectly happy with listening to you, if you are also really enthusiastic along being loud, it's better for him, even if his teammates are the exception, most mafia people are serious and scheming

>And that's the reason he understands why you suddenly go quiet around new people, sometimes it's better to keep things to the people you trust

>Giorno likes opinionated people, he has strong beliefs, and he wouldn't be comfortable with someone who is influenced easily

>So even if you disagree on something, being strong minded is one of his favorite things about you

>He understands how is like to be disconnected from one's culture in some ways, he left Japan at four, and was forced to give up everything he knew, even his name. So while your case may or may not be similar, he is there if it's ever a cause of concern, or complicated emotions

>I think Giorno doesn't know how to play any instruments (?) He could if he wanted to, but he just had such a messed up upbringing, he's just starting to come off survival mode at 15

>So he's down for anything related to your hobby, he won't make you play for him if you don't want to, but it's something he'd like a lot

>Thinks you look really attractive when you are concentrated on your guitar, whether it's tuning it or playing

>Will he tell you? If he's young, probably not, but if he's older than in VA (like 18 or older) he's much better with emotions, and showing affection

>Not gonna lie, when Giorno introduced you to Mista he called you short, you're even shorter than Narancia (he got smacked in the head for that don't worry)

>But Giorno doesn't really mind, I'd say he's neutral to a shorter partner, but he does like seeing his clothes look oversized on you

>Unlike other characters, I think he would enjoy taking care of your hair rather than dyeing it

>That doesn't mean he doesn't like seeing your colored hair, he does, and his heart probably skips a beat if you dye it blonde

>If your hair is bleached/damaged, he will rub herbal oils, massaging your scalp and detangling your hair, he probably hums a melody if you want to keep quiet, or indulges in conversation if you feel like it

>If you have longer hair, he will braid it before going to sleep

>You can return the favor, but he genuinely enjoys taking care of you, so that's enough payment

>About the stress, this changes depending if we're talking about younger or older Giorno

>Giorno can't relate, because he shuts down when he's stressed, so he can't really understand, but he will try his best to make you feel okay

>Older Giorno encourages you to rant about things, and to find solutions for yourself, because he knows people don't really listen when overwhelmed. He's there to support you through whatever emotion your stress manifests as, but he has more experience with anger (Fugo)

>Younger Giorno tries to approach you with answers for your problems, but quickly understands that's not what you need, so instead, he just stays next to you and patiently listens to what you have to say, probably says a couples "I see", or "That's understandable" just to assure you he's listening

>Notices he can do things to help you minimize stress, and falls in line with his love language (acts of service)

>He helps with task you may feel too burned out to do, or that you may keep postponing because you plainly don't want to do them, like cleaning, organizing, going for groceries, etc

>Doesn't know how to react to being your muse

>If he's still in his awkward phase, he'll blush and say you never cease to leave him speechless (he wants to see your work, but it's too embarrassed to say it)

>If he's a little bit more confident, he tells you how honored he feels to be what sparks that beautiful mind of yours, and ask for a peak if you're comfortable

>Loves movie dates too! He will probably pick some movie everyone saw already tho 💀 like I said, he lacks many experiences from his formative years to his teens, so yes, he will be surprised when Jack dies in Titanic

>But his picks are mostly movies based on novels (as he seems to be more inclined to reading judging for his character chart)

>Feels at ease with you caring for him, although you have to coerce him into letting you be the one that does all the work

>He admires you being able to forgive easily, Giorno thinks the only way for him to find peace is getting justice, if he doesn't see that happening, it's hard for him to just let go

>Doesn't get your sense of humor. He barely understands common sense of humor, he won't really get yours, so maybe you have to explain, but he'll eventually laugh at it

>Likes having your take on things, specially since you're positive, and sometimes he just needs a second opinion

>He won't want to get you involved with the mafia, but if for whatever reason you do end up knowing/getting slightly involved he would ask for you advice

>He trusts your advice way more than the rest's

>Will notice that you apologize a lot, but won't address it until you do, since he already senses it's something not so pleasant

>Doesn't like that you always apologize, and reminds you that some people can target you if you show yourself that vulnerable, but he's not the kind of person that would get mad or annoyed at you for saying sorry

[foulfeast]

DISCORD CONVO (EDITED TO SUMMARIZE) W MAX RE: MIULUS PERSONALITY

kanervakani — Yesterday at 5:50 PM MYBE? YES PERHANCE Like feeling things but therw arw some disconnections there. Like the feelings are physically there But eg. If ur fighting w miulu and they notice u feel bad. They might not understand that thats a bad thing? More like "oh you feel bad. We are feeling bad right now. Lets lean into that :] hehee fun"

kanervakani — Yesterday at 6:23 PM I was thinking of an example. Like if Miulu sees someone like. Crying on the train or smth. They might just stare uninterrupted w their weird little face. Bc they do feel embarrasment, but it just doesn't reach anything but their heartbeat. And they know the person is sad and upset, and they're just experiencing that w them, but just not doing anything about it? Bc why would they? Theyre focusing on the knot in their throat and how their tearducts kinda itch, and how they want 2 cry also, and on observing every little twitch of the persons face, every movement, every way they try to hide their outburst Sorry for rambling im just. It interests me how 2 approach someone who has all the neurons to feel things but none of the human instincts that were developed alongside emotion evolution To actually make those emotions help you in life

zer01739 — Yesterday at 6:27 PM can experience Feeling but lacks the drives and urges to directly bond or comfort on that level with another person. theres more than a disconnect its like an unbreakable wall that theyre looking through they are "a part" of it but not in the way they "belong" to the array of pieces. like an old car thats had a new radio put into it but the radio isnt connected quite right because the pieces dont match up even though everything feels like it should maybe a little abstract but how i am interpreting it

kanervakani — Yesterday at 6:32 PM YES YES YES PERFECT THANK U They do wish they could do it. And i think theyve tried a lot? I imagine it can come off as like. Either weirdly intense or disingenious to people

[almondtqfu]

falling out of love headcanons ✦ kazuha, xiao, albedo, eula

✧.*.:｡ gn reader / modern!au ✧.*.:｡ warnings: angst with no comfort, sad endings, mentions of breaking up, showings of both healthy and unhealthy communication ✧.*.:｡ req: "So like i saw how u write angst and immediately fell in love <3<3<3 can i request for kazuha, xiao, albedo, and eula (or if thats too many characters then any of the four of ur choice!) In a relationship with reader but fell out of love so they try to break up w reader?? (feel free to ignore this btw if ur not comfortable!!)" ✧.*.:｡ ✉️ : thank you anon for requesting this, honestly i don't write a lot of angst but this was fun to write, i hope you enjoy it, it ripped my heart out a bit ngl~ :)))

kazuha

Kazuha loved you. He really did. After a while though, he could feel the sparks he once had dying out.

You’ve always been together since you both started college, it was only natural for him that he his feelings for you began to grow.

You did everything together, and it made Kazuha realize that he didn’t want to do any of these things without you.

The day he confessed, and you accepted, was probably one of his happiest memories—and it always will be—in time it won’t hurt as much, but he knew this needed to end.

Deep down though, you knew too.

You two had been growing apart. What with Kazuha talking about applying to an abroad university for his masters, and you with your new job that’s kept you so busy.

You’ve barely had time anymore to see each other without being exhausted.

This led to arguments, things you didn’t mean sent back and forth at each other. In the heat of the moment some words were said, and those words couldn’t be taken back.

You both knew that the growing distance you had was due to both of you, not one or the other.

As much as you two started out bound by the hip, now it was time to let go.

The innocent sparks weren’t there anymore, and nothing else was to blame for that but time, and distance. Two things you just couldn’t overcome together, and that’s okay.

After having a talk about it all, you two mutually agreed it was time to end your relationship.

There were tears, there was one more embrace, and like that Kazuha left you with a final kiss to your forehead, and a wish that you have a happy life.

xiao

Xiao is a man who doesn’t show his feelings often. It’s not entirely his fault, he really has never had a relationship before.

You understood that, but Xiao had no excuse for the way he’d been distancing himself from you.

He knew it was wrong, but whenever you interacted, he began to feel this disconnect.

He thought he was falling out of love with you, so he began to distance himself.

It was that typical "If you hate me, you can move on" card.

Xiao was also afraid of getting hurt, so he thought perhaps if he ended things first, he could protect himself from further loss.

He had lost several people in his life, one day he would lose you too, he didn't know if he could handle that.

So he asked you to meet with him at his place one night.

Deep down, you knew what was coming, you hated it, but you knew.

With the distance Xiao had been putting between you both, it was only natural to you that him asking to break up was coming.

As you expected, he told you that he thought things should end.

You stood there for a moment, quiet, and sad.

In the end though, the distance felt too far to cross anymore. It began to be too painful to be with Xiao anymore.

He never truly explained why he was ending things, and you never asked, it simply went unresolved.

Xiao thinks of you every now and then, and if he's lucky enough. he'll catch a glimpse of you.

Seeing you happy—albeit without him—is enough for him.

A glimpse of your smile was all he ever deserved to begin with, or at least, that's how he felt.

albedo

Albedo is still learning about emotions and relationships, and he enjoyed the one he shared with you—for the most part.

Over time though he noticed he wasn’t quite as excited to hear from you.

He wasn’t really as excited to see you visit his place.

Nor could he feel that blossoming feeling of excitement he'd just learned to experience when he would listen to you talk about your day, your work, anything really.

He found himself growing very indifferent with you.

You noticed this too, of course.

Part of you worried you'd done something wrong, however when you asked Albedo, he simply denied it, saying it wasn't you at all.

This confused you, it didn't add up with his behavior.

This was Albedo we were talking about.

Every action he performed had meaning. Every step had purpose.

He wouldn't feel so distant, just because.

When you finally sat down and talked with Albedo about this some days later, he told you everything honestly.

He had no intention of hurting you, but he could felt that twisting in his stomach at the sight of your tears.

You forced a sad smile and told him that what he was feeling sounds a lot like falling out of love with someone.

Albedo didn't fully understand the concept, but honestly if that's what this was, it didn't feel good.

After that conversation, you also began to distance yourself.

If Albedo was slowly losing his love for you, you'd let him go.

As much as you loved him you would never force him to stay with you.

Neither of you deserved that.

You knew you'd have to be the one to end this, Albedo wasn't adept at sensing emotions, or reading the room.

You knew if you didn't say something, this distance could go on for much longer than it needed to.

Neither of you deserved that.

As you stood in front of Albedo's apartment door, you took a long look at it. Gazing fondly at the doorknob that you'd turn nearly everyday to see your love.

A shaky deep breath, and you turned the knob for what was most likely the last time.

Albedo turned to you, his emotionless face, his turquoise eyes.

It took everything in you not to crumble and ask him to stay, try again, start over and see where you go from there; but you had to do this.

It'll all be over soon, that's what you'd tell yourself.

eula

Eula truly cared for you, really she did.

Over time though, she felt as though she was forcing herself to keep that same connection as time went on.

She doesn't know when or how it happened, but the feelings just gradually started fading away.

However it wasn’t just her, you felt it as well. She could tell in the ways you weren’t quite as enthusiastic in your conversations like you used to be.

Or how her holding you or even kissing you, didn’t quite hold the same passion or affection it once did, and you didn’t mind it or ask what was wrong.

You both were growing apart and while it was painful—it’s the end of a relationship after all—both of you had made peace with this.

The feelings simply didn’t carry on past your “honeymoon phase” of your relationship.

Surprisingly enough to Eula, you had no rebuttal when she had said that it may be for the best that you two decide to call it.

You in fact said that you agreed. Things were only going to get more forced; more strained, as time went on.

Eula didn’t know whether to feel relieved that you felt the disconnect too, or hurt.

It was a mixture of both she decided.

As much as she knew you’d grown distant with her as well, it still hurt that you made no attempt of any kind to try and keep the relationship.

However this, was a blessing in disguise, Eula decided. You were right, deep down she knew that.

It just... hurt.

But Eula was never one to properly express her true feelings often now was she?

[animalinvestigator]

OK so a big thing that i want to say like in response to ur post is that I do agree that as they are right now petscop is WAY stronger than twf but i think a big reason for that is that petscop is like, a finished story, where twf is still In progress like only about 1/4th of it has been released rn, Especially in the wake of a thing the creator of twf has said about how the best analysis of it are ones that take all 3 currently released episodes into account rather than analyzing each episode on its own i think its a little disingenuous to make big comparisons about the stories when we dont know too much except the objective facts of it all rigth now

like of course petscop is going to stand way stronger (and i love petscop to DEATH like ive loved petscop for years it is one of my favorite series ever) because its like finished and it's loose ends are tied where as atm twf's loose ends just feel like poor writing since we dont know where its Going with them yet

i think the stories are trying to send completely different impressions (and i think u understood this in smth you said about how petscop is about childhood trauma+identity vs twf being about familial loss) and thats a big reason why the characters seem to have much more or less weight depending on which story ur looking at. Because in petscop its much more personal, youre seeing it thru paul and the game itself is cover to cover loaded with personal emotional shit left in by rainer and others, but in twf it's supposed to feel like ur getting a weird disjointed outside perspective on this family because even in universe thats what it is, it felt to me like it was trying toportray that feeling of family you lost a long time ago that you at this point dont have anything but the weird disjointed outside family photos and shit like that. Even the series name being like "walten files" gave me the impression that it was trying to be a series of 'disconnected-but-not-really' left behind documentations on these peoples lives rather than the people themselves, and, of course in that case the character weight in petscop would stand WAY stronger, because petscop is about the character weight where twf is about the tragedies themselves

NOT THAT I DONT RESPECT YOU FOR PREFERRING THAT, I mean typically i prefer that as well and i honestly wouldnt be surprised if as twf releases (because again i still hold my feeling that its unfair to twf to try and compare it to a story legend like petscop at the point it's at rn where only a fraction has been released) i continue to prefer petscop way over twf but i love petscop For the story its already told whereas i love twf for it's potential

Tho i do TOTALLY acknowledge most of these comparisons come from the fact that (and i agree w this) bunnyfarm is very obviously heavily petscop inspired with its formatting (and i do think there are some things that could have been done way better in that way) of course bunnyfarm falls flat when compared to petscop because petscop is a series thats putting its all into the "video game+dissoc amnesia" angle where as twf is supposed to feel likea bunch of odd disjointed things that When put together tell a story. So of course bunnyfarm falls flat because bunnyfarm isnt meant to be considered alone

There ARE a lot of things in twf that i feel could be done way better but i also have to concede that the story isnt done yet and even in the story itself one of the characters has urged us(the audience) to not try and piece anything together. And i at this point like petscop way more than twf but i appreciate twf heavily for what it is and i think comparing them both is unfair to twf for many reaosns

thats it im sorry this is like a whole essay but i care a LOT about internet horror and i thought your thoughts were really really good there were just a few things that i wanted to discuss really badly. thankyou for your time

LONG POST INCOMING EVERYONE BRACE FOR IMPACT

OMG I MEANT TO LIKE ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT TWF IS very muxh not finished in that original ask 😭 that is so true and super important to consider and i meant to write a paragraph about that in the ask i answered but i got too excited talking about petscop and i totally forgot. that is super important to remember about it and its also important to recognize that the person making twf is pretty young with what i assume is a small team and probably not anywhere near the amount of storytelling experience as pressedyes (hes been publishing internet stories since 2009) and for that like, no matter how many grievances i have with the pieces of the puzzle that we have, i have to cede that twf is really genuinely impressive and i do really admire all the work thats been done. and also like, i make a lot of jokes about it but i did have a fun time watching it and i have a fun time thinking about it and its Pretty damn good in a lot of ways.

i never really considered the personal vs impersonal presentation of the story and i like that angle of analysis a lot now that you mention it. the jumbled odds and ends thing will probably hopefully feel a lot better once we have a little more to start tying it together - a lot of my grievances are less with tying things together and more like how weak the introductions feel, but like, im hoping ans thinking that i will probably feel better about it with more information. thing is in a lot of ways petscop is disjointed in the same way - for the viewer at least, we're observing everything BUT the recordings from a secondhand, disjointed account from like, shit paul says on phone calls and in videos to outside observers who have a lot more information than either him or us as the viewers, and paul even grows gradually more distant from the audience too, and i feel like it still has stronger character work and first impressions . so i feel like the issue is that twf leans so hard into its "outside observer" perspective that it sacrifices a lot of character work that would help the episodes that are out stand on their own two legs better -- which is important, because the impression that the start of a story leaves is one of the most vital things to get right!! im hopedul that that disconnected perspective will be used in a similarly "invested but lacking information" type of way as petscop does in later episodes. i have hopefor it .

the reason the weaker parts of twf frustrate me so muxh is because i reallt really feel like it has a chance to be something really great, but the way its handling its influences right now and the lack of character work even when we have a lot of time to sit with the characters in question leaves a really sour taste in my mouth. i hope that as it continues to progress it'll be able to solidify its own identity somewhat! and i agree that irs not exactly a fair match when you pit it against pscop lol its just like; petscop is the best of the best to me and they do cover a lot of similar feelings and concepts, so comparing them helps me articulate my feelings more. its not really very helpful or anyone to earnestly be like "this story is better than the other", all you can really do is say what you like and dont like about different stories and compare and contrast :)

thanks for sending such a thought provoking message !! its nice to hear from a different perspective. i feel so strong about web horror also and i hope that someday soon i can regard twf a lot more positively because I Want More Good Art In The World and derive no joy from being negative. ok maybe sometimes but not aboit this!!!!!!! cos i want it to be good.

[trkstrnd]

I’m gonna make a masterlist of all my tk strand headcanons but i’m gonna start out w some that pertain to the actual show (backstory, show events, etc.

So here are

Trick’s Show Pertaining Tk Strand Headcanons

TW: Mentions of hospitals, overdoses, cancer, and addiction

this is my favorite to think about; the episode Act Of God, when Tk finds out about Owen’s cancer. Everyone knows that Tk is a recovering addict, and most of the time when you fall off the wagon like he did in NYC, it’s really hard to get back up again. Therefore I think Tk was actually looking for pills, and he just didn’t like the ones he found. He only looked it up to see what he was going to take of he took them. The realization was what pushed him to get actually clean.

Tk met Alex in rehab as a teenager, and they had been together since. Alex reminded tk of how far he had come, Tk reminded Alex of where he used to be. That’s why alwx cheated, and Tk got too attached.

Tk ran to carlos’s after finding out about Owen.

Tk heard everything in the hospital.

Owen definitely snuck Buttercup out of the station, most of the time to take to Tk on medical leave.

Tk was looking to rebound, and really saw carlos as such until Austin, We Have A Problem.

Tk likes quinoa, but not his fathers quinoa, which is why he was all hesitant when he came to talk to his dad, and he laughed with Judd.

Tk and Judd’s friendship??? god tier.

Tk was trying to kill himself, even if he didn’t want to believe it. He knew his limits and deliberately went over.

Alex wasn’t abusive, just disconnected and Tk wasn’t able to read the energy since they had been together for so long.

Based off of how Tk interacts with Colt in ep 9, he would be a good special needs father.

Tk partially blames himself for his fathers condition, just knowing that he could have pushed a little sooner and the tumor would have been discovered just a little bit smaller.

Tk is totally trusted w Carlos’s precious Camero, he had jeans on the hood of that thing and didn’t leave a scratch.

Tk doesn’t cry a lot in front of others; he bottles his emotions and lets them out in private, just like his dad.

I’m gonna tag my favorite writers so y’all can add on to these of you wanna. @howtosingit @officerrxyes @lire-casander @brilliantbanshee @sunshinestrand

feel free to add, tagged or not. i wanna see ur ideas.

also if y’all ever wanna talk, come say hi!! i

don’t bite >:)

[menalez]

same gs discourse anon, yeah i feel like the type of people who rarely go against themselves and their instincts in general are people with a very defined sense of self, perhaps self assured people. this doesn't mean they can't be mentally ill or face hardships, it just means those things affect them differently. they're less easily influenced than others i think.

so to extend this to gs lesbians involved in this discourse, these are people who have been very aware of their own thoughts and feelings and able to accurately interpret them from a young age, which is fairly impressive; i believe that's a good quality that we all should seek to have, and I'd like future generations to have those qualities, but im not very hopeful since younger kids being exposed to the internet and thus porn are a very common occurrence these days, there's no way that's not going to have serious consequences in one's psyche and sexuality.

or we could say the more vitriolic people involved in this discourse are in fact not self assured and clear minded, but rather painfully insecure. they have gone through abusive situations, and perhaps they have a lot of doubts themselves, so they latch onto the fact they've never been with men to assure themselves they are indeed lesbians, and lash out at nongoldstars because they threaten their worldview, which is primarily build around self validation, for the purpose of self validation. a form of projection methinks.

sorry for going on a tangent lol

hey sorry for answering late!! i was unwell and i don't like this topic too much bc it does always bring me back to a very difficult time in my life, to some degree. what you mentioned about self-awareness rings very true for me, at least. as someone who faced a lot of trauma and abuse growing up, i grew up incredibly and severely disconnected from myself. i would do things and instantly feel terrible afterwards and feel suicidal and yet i'd somehow never connect the two. i know im not alone on this, many traumatised & mentally ill & abused women have probably also been very disconnected from themselves at one point or another. i had to go to therapy for literal YEARS just so i would be aware of my own feelings and thoughts. and when ur going thru that, ofc you have not processed even basic things and it makes going against ur nature and instincts super easy bc basically ur so disconnected from urself that u dont even know what u want and want u don't want and what you like vs don't like. a lot of the therapy i received was teaching me basic things which are part of our natural survival instincts: eat, itll make you feel better; sleep, it'll help you stabilise ur moods; don't sit in your room in the dark 24/7, it can make you depressed; talk about your emotions, it can help; if something makes you uncomfortable and disgusted, you don't have to do it; etc etc etc.

so i agree that these are important qualities to have when it comes to acting in line with your sexuality. you'd have to be mentally healthy to some degree and you'd also have to be not so mentally unhealthy that you literally don't even recognise yourself or your feelings. im sure many were also mentally ill and traumatised and struggled with recognising their feelings to some degree, and yet still had a stop point, but that's also not the case for everyone and signifies nothing about someone's innate sexuality.

and yeah i feel like at least a few of them clearly seem to latch onto how they reacted to trauma as validation for their own sexualities and that doesn't seem healthy or self-assured to me. it's hard growing up with trauma and it's hard to recognise your feelings after facing it, many traumatised women esp end up having unclear feelings and going thru a lot of periods of dissociation which makes understanding yourself (which is something so basic that it can be baffling to others to realise some of us struggle w this) difficult. so i understand why some with that experience latch onto their gs and the arguments they make to validate themselves. but it doesnt change that the argument is super black & white and ignores the reality that people aren't either polilez bisexuals that are trying to invade lesbian spaces (which are definitely a group of ppl that exist and cause us issues) or goldstar lesbians. theres more nuance than that to our experiences and this is bc we aren't so simple that we always simply act on instinct and can never go against our instincts and integral parts of ourselves. i wish we did bc itd simplify everything but that's literally just not how human beings are

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

1/7 Do you think this is more high Ti or Fe or maybe Ne? I can’t tell. It’s hard for me to understand my feelings beyond just generally feeling good or bad n sometimes I still can’t tell/don’t care but I complain/am tempted to complain a lot. I can be p fake until I’m exposed n then I don’t try to hide it anymore, w my family I just act how I want, rude/blunt/lazy/slobby but w everyone else I try to put up a good front even if I hate it. I def put my own needs before others n im not v helpful

2/7 unless I have absolutely nothing else to do or I need someone to like me. I want good things for people/the world but I don’t think individual action is v effective n would rather support systemic change. I’m def not the warm fuzzy huggy type but sometimes I wish ppl would see through my goofy/flighty facade n stop thinking of me as just the funny friend bc I enjoy talking abt serious things too. People rarely come to me for emotional support which is good bc I’d have no idea what to do

3/7 but it also makes me feel left out/disconnected. Diff groups of ppl have wildly diff perceptions of me, some say I’m quiet (I just have nothing to say/they’re boring), others think I’m bold/wild/intimidating (I like to say/do things for shock value/entertainment but I have to get a feel for what I can get away with first). Sometimes I say things confidently that I’m not sure I believe in bc I want to see how it feels coming out of me, a fake it til u make it kinda deal. If I don’t check

4/7 every single box of a description of some personality type I question if it’s my type, I find it too easy to relate to everything & can’t tell what I do the most. I don’t like making decisions/telling ppl what to do, I’m happy following orders unless the person giving orders has bad ideas or I don’t want to do the particular thing I’m assigned. I dislike conflict n usually won’t speak up if something bothers me, I cry when I’m mad which makes me feel silly so I avoid it. If I do end up

5/7 crying in public it doesn’t matter much to me tho, like whatever, can’t change it now. I have an “oh well” attitude abt most things n don’t have many regrets, I think more about the future than the past or present. I dislike rules bc of the inflexibility, there could always be exceptions n ppl should have a right to choose what to do if they aren’t harming anyone else, like seatbelts ur not hurting anybody but urself potentially if u don’t wear one. Bureaucracies are the WORST. The fact that

6/7 ppl need degrees/certification to do certain things pisses me off, like doctors ofc should have to go to school for that but most jobs I could learn on the fly n what if I spent 4 years learning how to do 1 thing n decided I wanted to do a different thing? It sucks that everything is so rigid. I’m good at simplifying things, usually by using comparisons “it’s like this other thing” n discarding unnecessary information to get to the big idea. Pisses me off when ppl can’t be concise. I love my

7/7 writing tutor job bc I like helping ppl understand things n pointing out problems n also the stuff ppl bring in is hilariously bad, which is v entertaining n makes me feel better abt myself. Other info abt me I’m 21 so I think I’ve had time to develop my tert function whatever it is but I haven’t looked into enneagram much except I took a quiz today n my top 3 results were 3>6>7 idk if that helps

---------------

Hi anon,

This definitely sounds like high Ti to me - disliking rigidity, wanting to push certain social boundaries but also wanting to figure out what they are first, good at simplification.

I don’t actually really see Ne in this and would actually look at ISTP instead - the part about learning a job on the fly instead of sinking time in really speaks to that for me.

I also don’t see 3 at all, but quizzes suck. 6 is possible but this really sounds like 9 - not wanting to have true conflicts but enjoying arguments at times, being okay with following rules unless it starts to grate against Ti, relating to lots of different personality traits.

[calypsoff]

Two.

A yawn left my lips, tiredness has overcome me. I love touring but I dislike the schedule, especially when they double book on a date, that means I am stuck in one place and then there is a concert date for two days straight, I like the rest bite. Today is one of them but the end is near, I can see it. I certainly can’t wait to go back to Barbados, I need some major rest before delving into my next album. I am so ready for movement on another album, I have so much content for it and some songs that didn’t make the cut need to go into the new album. My last date is in New York, this is next week, and I am happy. I am happy about a lot of things and one of them is Chris, I have been on cloud nine that even my mother is questioning why but reconnecting with the one I love has been the blessing I needed, I really said that to myself. When I was with him back when I was fifteen I freaked out about sex and it was not his fault, it was my fault and I feel bad that he felt after all those years it was his fault, never was. I always assumed that it was a teenage love, it wasn’t that but seeing him after all this time I can confirm that it isn’t. He brings me great joy, but I do feel the change in him, I think life has really got to him and I can’t blame him. He’s been through a lot and I feel like he’s trying to say if I was around he wouldn’t have done what he done, I know he wouldn’t have because I wouldn’t have allowed it. I get what he means with sticky situation, we really are at a different point, but I want that to merge into one and I just don’t know how. I want to see him; I want to spend more time with him. It’s like god is working against me, sex with Rakim is not as it was anyways but now it’s even worse because my mind is elsewhere “I hate this country” Mel said, dragging my eyes away from the floor “why?” Mel looked at me in annoyance, more like disgust that I’ve said such a thing “so I’ve been speaking, and you have been ignoring me?” Shaking my head smiling “I’m tired” I mumbled “too much sex” she pointed at me “least enjoyable” I sighed out “girl!” Mel shouted, I’m glad I have her here “but I said, as you weren’t listening I’m going to miss you” where the fuck is she going “uhhh, where the fuck are you going!?” I’ve missed this “oh my god, we had the conversation, I said I’m going back to Barbados, you literally said ok when I told you on the bus. Your mind is really elsewhere” Mel sat next to me in utter shock, I am literally thinking Chris.

Mel side eyed me “you wasn’t joking when you said that he means a lot to you?” Nodding my head “we have been texting and stuff but, I am not going to lie. I miss him, I think we missed out on so much. When I told you it could be just that teenage love and I never spoke on it again, it’s confirmed to me that it’s live, I get that excitement like a little girl when he texts me, we laugh and giggle. I just get to be me, I feel like I had to grow up in the public and act a certain way, I am not being ungrateful, but I have to grow up publicly and give myself to the public. Barbados I get to be me but I’ve always felt like men just don’t see me as Robyn and you know I have that issue” now I am getting emotional, I sniffled “just you know, I feel like shit. Like you don’t know me as Robyn” Mel poked her lips out at me “you have had that issue with men, you have always mentioned this to me, I’ve seen him but I don’t know him but I know you wouldn’t hype any guy up so I believe you. I feel like you’re crying because you miss Chris?” Nodding my head as I sobbed out “I feel so stupid about it though Mel, like I shouldn’t feel this, and he doesn’t even know that I really do love him. I fell hard with him because I never knew how a man should treat you, come on. My dad is the worst, I just don’t want him to think I am easy and weak, you know. He has a girl; I have a man. And I am starting my period, but I feel bitter about that. God, I am love sick” placing my hands over my face “Robyn, you have got it so bad for him” Mel wrapped her arms around me “he reminds me of everything Gran wanted me to have, I hate this. I am blaming time of the month too” Mel chuckled, she’s probably thinking I am crazy me.

I feel like shit, I feel stupid too. I cried in front of Mel about a man, I don’t know about her but I would be judging but Mel isn’t like that, she is the only one to know me like that, she does understand because I did tell her about him when I got back from America “you don’t eat anymore, what is wrong bobblehead?” I laughed sarcastically “uhm, I just don’t feel hungry, that is it” I shrugged “or sleep, or even dick cuh, you seem like you’re not with me” raising and eyebrow “how about you just be a little more nice, like in a way of just taking me out and a nice dinner. Maybe I don’t want to hang with the ASAP mob every time, or maybe I just want to feel good about myself and be happy, ever thought of that?” Rakim smirked, his glistening smile. I am actually being deadass but with the smirk on his face he is taking it as a joke “I got you, we will spend alone time. I’m sorry” he apologised but it’s just me being uptight “imagine if people knew their bad bitch queen doesn’t suck dick” he busted out laughing, I didn’t find it funny “I don’t know where your dick has been, I don’t want too” I laughed in disbelief, he is still on that “so because I didn’t suck your dick and refused again you are angry at that, I know how to do it I just don’t want to do it to you!” I half shouted “and I said ok, but I just made a joke that imagine if they found out you ain’t the bad bitch you are, jeez Rih. Just relax” putting a finger up at him “love you too” he’s such a pig sometimes “I’m gonna take you for a meal tonight, get some anger out of you. Romantic meal and then some, sex?” I swear, he’s annoying me so much “perhaps” I shrugged it off, I think it’s just me being uptight, I need to just relax with him.

I am so sad that Mel is going “girl, I am rooting for this period to go by because your emotions have been awful, you ain’t start either?” shaking my head “I am due, I am like three days late. I am not pregnant, I know I am not” waving Mel off before she mentioned it, I will not be pregnant. I do take precaution “that is only like ninety nine percent chance of working, sis you better not be” shaking my head “I am not, trust me. I am such a wreck” feeling a kiss to my cheek “I will meet you outside” nodding my head as Rakim left ahead of me “soooooo” she dragged out “I was being dumb, my emotions getting the better of me. I think seeing Chris made me miss that, it made me feel a lot of things. I jumped too, like I was practically telling I love him already and he was a little like wow? But I uhm, I just need to get my mind right” Mel nodded her head, she is concerned for me “does he actually correspond to your neediness? Like does he care like you do?” resting against the wall “he does text me when I text him, I think I could be” I just said it “could be what?” Mel said all confused “pregnant” I just ended up crying again “I just feel I am in denial, I don’t want to be then I am stuck” Mel hugged me “I don’t want it” she sighed out in my ear “I knew it, I fucking did” I am in denial “I don’t think I can be with that, with him. It was a mistake, without him in the equation I couldn’t have that. I need to think of me, help me Mel” she shushed me “I am staying, just calm down. We need to know first, relax though. It’s not a bad thing, it happens. Just calm down” she doesn’t understand that I can’t have that in my life.

I still came out with Rakim for the meal, I wore some big ass shades that I am not taking off. I think I was drunk; I know I use protection; I make him, and I don’t know. I am just so lost, then I see Chris after all these years, then I got this. I don’t see Rakim as my forever because he is a fuck boy, he is a fuckboy and he is for time pass, I never had Rakim on the list of men I would want to marry, I am young it’s just we hung out but it’s like now this is really hitting me. It’s not good, we are not good, and I can’t do this “you call me bougie but you sat there with your shades on, looking like someone slapped you” I faintly laughed “just not feeling all too well” I sighed out “when is the food coming anyways, I am hungry” I lied, I just want to move along with the conversation “don’t you ever feel like the record label got us together” Rakim’ mouth fell open “wow, Rihanna. What is this?” maybe that was rude “but answer me that, don’t you think?” Rakim grinned shaking his head, my phone started to ring in my bag “save by the bell moody” reaching into my bag, checking the phone. He’s calling me but the call disconnected. Picking the phone out of my bag, another message came through from Twin, unlocking my phone.

Twin:

Coconut head! I just woke up 😤😤

Oh I just called to get ur attention🙄

It’s near enough the evening and he is awake now, unless he did a late shift but then he didn’t text me all night and he would have, unless he was busy but he has text me now. Texting him back.

Robyn:

It worked, why so late?

Twin:

I worked all night and then I didn’t leave until like about 10 in the mornin so I was very tired 😪😪 I am this close to being a drug lord 🤏🤏 this close!

Robyn:

DON’T you dare!

Twin:

What’s popping anyways? You free to facetime!?

Bopping my head to Schoolboy Q as Robyn said for me to wait, she will call me “give me, give me, give me some” I sang along to collard greens as I fixed my durag on, it ain’t going as planned either. Praise the lord I have a day off, so I am going out with Barry, Seiko said for me to go out and have fun, whatever then. This is why I can deal with her, my phone started ringing. My durag is half done, let me answer it anyways, accepting the FaceTime. Chewing my bottom lip as I bought the phone up to my face “she gon' get some dick tonight” I pointed at my phone “Meet me at the W, and no it's not the Westside. What’s up?” I laughed walking out of the bathroom “what are you doing?” Robyn asked, looking down at my phone “you in the toilet? You out, out?” turning the music off, raising my phone up. Looking at myself, this durag needs to be done again “kind of, it’s ok. I wanted to facetime you” I grinned “I am blessed, you wanted to see me. Don’t mind me, I am like just in the middle of getting ready, I am not naked. Trust me” she is really in the toilet talking to me, I had to double check my phone again but it’s true she is “what are you doing anyways? Are you out having food? Don’t let me ruin your night?” Robyn shook her head, my face softened seeing Robyn get all emotional, her lower lip quivering “sorry” she moved the camera “what is wrong? Hey, tell me?” Robyn shook her head as she breathed in and out “I am ok, sorry. I feel emotional about things, just you know. Look, it was nice to see your face, but I need to just go now, I am sorry” I really want to push her on it but I won’t “that is ok, I am here for you ok? Chin up whatever is up” I don’t want to push her on it because it’s not my place.

Even though I am out with Barry, I just can’t shake off that Robyn was upset. That is not right, I mean was it my face. Actually, I am just going to text that.

Chris:

Was I that ugly!? 👺

“Drink for you, and a drink for big Barry, it’s nice to actually go out without TJ talking shit” placing my phone down as Barry made himself comfortable across from me “yeah it’s good to just sit at a bar, to have some me time, I been grinding so much” picking up my Vodka and coke “to us” raising my glass “nah, to my brother being free. I am so happy you are here again. We going to get you away from Amazon and you going to be king again” we clinked glasses “we look like some bad bitches” taking a drink, placing my drink down “bad bitches alert, whatever they saying these days” Barry got up again “I am going to the toilet, be back nigga” my phone screen lit up at the right time, she has text me back and I hope she isn’t sad.

Twin:

Never you! I can promise you that and you looked extra sexy with that on.

Chris:

Why thank you twin, but my twin energy is giving me sad vibes? You on tour and you should be happy. I am a little sad that you was sad, why?”

Twin:

I am ok but when can I see you?

Chris:

😔😔😔 the dates you saying I am working……… sorry

Twin:

I need your vibe

Chris:

I need your 😺😈😈

Twin:

Chrissy…..

Chris:

Robbie…

Twin:

Please. Can you come New York? I can give you the money. I just need you as a friend

Chris:

I don’t want your money and don’t speak on that again, but something is off with you. I don’t like the vibe. This is why I said what I said, we are on different parts of our lives. We spoke on the phone and you asked, and I did say I would try but I can’t. I know we have a lot to catch up on and I get it but I have this life, and you have that.

Twin:

PLEASE I don’t want to hear that, fuck!!!..... Chris. I don’t want to have a disagreement on THAT! I said I needed you. YOU said you would try but you’re here texting that.

Licking my top lip staring at that message, she is acting way different and like this “read that” I held my phone out to Barry as he came back “nudes!?” he said laughing, shaking my head. I am just like thinking back, we been speaking on the phone and we have had good conversation but like now, she is acting so weird with me “you sure that is her? Like wow?” Barry gave me my phone back “it is, I can’t go to New York then, it’s Seiko birthday” Barry snorted laughing “fuck her” I knew he would say that “she booked Miami” Barry shrugged, and then took in a deep breath “it comes down too, who you care about more. Is it Robyn or Seiko? And you can’t keep throwing that line of you have that life, you sound bitter. I personally would drop Seiko, in that message bro. She is desperate for you to come” I just didn’t think Robyn would react the way she would, I do want to meet up with Robyn of course I do but Seiko did spend that money.

[transmimir]

*asks u abt ur bnha sona* blease tell me abt them 🔫

Oh i never saw this !!!!! His name is Klaus Itō and ive been revamping him a teeny bit from his original version made in 2017 so NOW his story::

He was born to a father who was a white american pro hero who had moved to japan and married a non-hero lady, when then had kids and popped out Klaus and his oldet brother. His father died when Klaus very young, prolly from hero work idk it doesnt rly matter. He ended up wanting to be like his father tho so he aspired to be a pro hero, which led him to applying to UA!!!! And he got in!!!!!!!!

He was a year behind Aizawa and Mic in school, but the three of them ended up becoming friends pretty quick, bc Klaus and Mic sought each other out as fellow heard of hearing kids and then klaus became friends w aizawa thru mic. Which hey!! Speaking of them being hoh heres the lore!!

For one Mic is totally hard of hearing bc of his own quirk. Probably has tinnitus too fuckin L (i feel you man). Klaus also has lost parts of his hearing bc of his quirk! (I think Mic’s would probably be a lot more severe since much louder + a lot more exposure to it before hes even at UA let alone as an adult. I think once both of them are at UA they both have control over their quirks in that they dont release them out of nowhere so if they do hurt their ears with heir quirks they could hurry to recovery girl and get fixed up a bit [but its not gonna help past damage yk]) oh also Klaus has Waardenburg Syndrome which includes high likelihood of hearing impairments in some way as symptoms so he really wasnt lucky on any front for his hearing.

SO WHATS HIS QUIRK THEN??? It used to be imo kind of stupid so i changed it and now its cool™️ lol. Basically, at will Klaus can release a powerful explosion off of his body. Basically just like emitting an explosion from his whole Self. It doesnt damage him (so long as nothing catches on fire after the blast yk) and he cant only ignite one part of his body or direct it, it goes out from everywhere on his body. The strength of the explosion that is produced is entirely dependent on his emotions! The stronger the emotions, the bigger the blast. Since ur usually not super joyful during battle, its mostly used w negative emotions lol. Once he’s grown up he has a pretty good idea of how big the explosion will be by gauging his mood, and hes practiced a lot of self restraint / meditation type exercises to help him control his emotions when he needs to. If his emotions got the better of him, not only would he make a much bigger bang than needed/intended, he’d also have worse decision making. Both those factors add up to easily hurting civilians or other pros when fighting villains, so he has to be very cautious about using his quirk.

Okay so. He goes to UA. Hes friends w Aizawa and Mic. WELL. when he enters his 3rd and final year (and aizawa and mic have graduated), his mother passes away quite suddenly from illness. It takes a very heavy toll on him, and leaves his older brother as his primary guardian; and he happens to be a huge nasty prick. Klaus very quickly spirals into depression, and its all just very bad. He prolly barely graduates bc when in such a volatile emotional state, his control over his quirk is terrible. Aizawa and Mic try to comfort him as friends ofc, but they both have already been rushed into their lives and signing up with agencies and things, so theyre way too busy to really help him. So, pretty much as soon as Klaus graduates and gets his provisional hero license and shit, he just picks up and fucks off to America, here he works at the agency his father used to work at before going to Japan. And he stays there. For nearly a full decade.

He’s called up by UA either the year before, or possibly the year of when the show/manga first starts, and hes asked to come back to Japan and teach there. And so he Does. I’m pretty sure I had him as..,, a Math teacher 😭 gays dont know math tho so idk how he did that but no matter what he teaches, he is a teacher at UA. And thats!!! When he reconnects with Aizawa and Mic!!!!!!!! And they fall in very gay disconnected childhood friends to lovers fashion. The students get to see their disaster relationships. Its good.

Here is the sketch of a new ref i am making for him currently but its transparent bc i was transferring it to a different device to color a couple days ago (and then didnt color it what a surprise). His hero outfit is just this little spandex suit made of super heat/blast resistant material prolly special made, then he wears regular clothes on top if hes at school or in public and such. When he uses his quirk it Will incinerate his clothes lol so he kind of wears the hero outfit 24/7 just in case

I think thats it tldr he is gay and so am i

Oh also hes probably trans too who knows

[eatsyou-a]

so i was napping i thought of this

douma wasnt treated as a normal kid obviously, so he wasnt allowed to play w the other kids his age and wasnt rly allowed to leave the house / temple he lived in. his parents treated him like royalty and told him he was above other kids who lived blissfully in his ignorance. to the few worshipers and followers that visited to see him, the parents put up a face that they were all happy and very proud of their son but little did those ppl know they abused him behind closed doors (even fighting often) and even those who knew judged them, not for abusing their child but how they werent restricting him enough

he never went to a school and was all home tutored by the countries top teachers, and told him what to eat, when to go to bed, and even taught him how he should approach the followers that came to visit to beg them to reach to that paradise. ofc hes like 6 yrs old, so he never had a liberty to do anything his own. he had to smile and nod, talk like he acknowledged them (and even guilting him that hes their saviors, to treat them like special guests), how to talk and be empathetic when hes supposed to. well, thats how he interpreted anyways. although he was so good at playing the part, he rly fooled his parents twice but then his mom found out her husband was cheating her with the followers so u know what happened

but then there was this caretaker of the temple that had great sympathy for him (her name was chiyo), having to witness a murder and suicide at the same time. that didnt bother him tho and so she took it up and adopted him and raised him as her own seeing as she never had kids and her husband had died years prior. unfortunately, douma was so disconnected with the term son / child that he never saw her as a mother of his own, but was treated with a lot more care than his parents ever did and treated him so sweetly. even then he still couldnt bring himself greatly about her, but shes the only one that genuinely cared about him and wanted to make him happy with such a great childhood (try doing that while bearing the feelings and emotions of hundreds of ppl that come and visit while ur not even 10 yrs old. its sad it realize with not only were u no longer with familial bonds but was also aged away from those emotions that were so detrimental in his growing years that his parents never provided).

the tutors stopped coming and taught him how to read and write herself, and even advanced school lessons since he was so gifted. he could read high school / college level when was only 8 and was immensely smart and learned how to use ppls emotions to his advantage, all the while still practically being a child in jail and being forced to pursue the cult because she believed he could achieve great things while being the leader and helping out ppl since he had experienced things that were greatly traumatic. it didnt take long for him to grow extremely bored, not even having the slightest ounce of sympathy or empathy for these that ppl that traveled far and wide to empty their hearts.

if only there was something more exciting to do...

[f-nodragonart]

ok wait I have one more rant abt American Dragon and I swear I’m done, but the whole concept of a ‘leader’ dragon for every country is very.... strange to me

like ok, suspension of disbelief for vague hand-wavey magic, or the existence of magical creatures, etc. fine fine. but the whole PREMISE of the show is built around the concept of an American Dragon-- yet that concept is so incredibly, frustratingly vague. like I said in my original review, I’m willing to excuse a lot for a simple kid’s show that isn’t looking to worldbuild super deeply, but the main premise at the VERY least should have SOME planning behind it

for one, the physical size and population distribution of each country varies WILDLY across the globe, it’s honestly stupid to assign the same number of ‘leader’ dragons (one) to each, and expect each dragon to serve their respective country to the same degree of competence. the US is a fuckin MASSIVE country w/ two states disconnected from the mainland, and SEVERAL different biomes that have contributed to diverse sets of populations (which would likely be reflected among magical creatures as well, culturally and biologically-speaking). it’s ridiculous to expect ONE dragon to serve, represent, and protect ALL those populations

and the thing is, Jake DOESN’T do that! he’s a New York Dragon at best. the only times I remember him helping out w/ magical emergencies out-of-state are when he’s traveling for personal reasons (like visiting family) or when he’s tending to dragon council business, in which case most dragons across the world are gathering there too (not to mention these instances are generally out-of-country)

having a ‘leader’ dragon assigned to a bio/cultural region without even bothering with human borders would make FAR more sense (esp since the dragons don’t even wanna bother w/ the human world anyways, so why are they assigning things based on human constructs??). hell, there could even still be dragons representing larger areas too, so long as it was established that they’re the more broad-scope representatives that must regularly convene with the dragon representatives of the smaller regions under their jurisdiction. this would assure that each dragon is truly an intimate member of the communities they’re assigned to, rather than some outsider intruding on important matters that they simply can’t understand w/o cultural context. this especially makes sense if we assume that dragon forms are magical/psychological projections of the cultural society that a given dragon is raised in, rather than a *strictly* biological body whose traits are genetically inherited (tho like I said in my main review, I’m rly doubtful of that actually being canon to the show...)

now, it would admittedly be p cool if the show took the time to pull Jake across the nation to explore different cultural/ecological regions and the magical creatures within. but that’s expecting a lot from a show that only establishes that Jake is part-Chinese on the most shallow of levels, and fails to explore Chinese culture in any intimate manner beyond ONE(1) episode about the Chinese new year. like, the bar is on the ground, here

and even if some attention had been paid to America’s diverse cultural settings, I’d still be skeptical of Jake being able to handle the whole nation on his own. hell, I’m skeptical of an ADULT dragon being able to handle a nation as huge as the US, much less a tween handling the whole thing. I already take huge issue w/ kid’s shows framing dangerous, mature situations as “normal” responsibilities for children to encounter and just “get over”, as if they’re as commonplace and simple as like, studying for class. so every time Jake is reprimanded for not managing his time properly when he’s running on 10 min of sleep after facing off against angry trolls, or trying to take some free time for himself when he’s missed out on every other chance at a normal middle school milestone, I genuinely seethe w/ rage

at least w/ most other kid’s shows there’s some explanation I can accept for the main character having to go through that kinda stress. like w/ Danny Phantom, Danny unfortunately goes thru a freak accident, and he can’t tell his ghost-hunting parents abt it for fear that they might tear him apart for science or misguided protection, and he decides on his own that he has some responsibility to use his powers for active good (tho DP still pulls the “ghost-fighting is just like balancing school and a social life!” bullshit that I HATE..). or w/ Steven Universe, all this responsibility was thrust on Steven by adults who didn’t understand the consequences of their actions or had no other choice, and Steven’s currently dealing w/ the massive emotional fallout of having his childhood stolen from him

but with American Dragon, like... this shit is PLANNED. the council carefully CHOOSES the dragon for each nation-- these adults have a RESPONSIBILITY to both a whole WORLD of magical creatures AND their dragon subordinates to choose capable, mature dragons to lead the magical world. and for some reason they decide that this responsibility should fall on the shoulders of LITERAL CHILDREN?? who was the previous American Dragon? where the hell are they now? (Neopuff pointed out to me that Jake is in fact the first AD, which is even even more suspect than before! what!!) even if Jake is chosen to be a potential future AD, why does he have to take on that full responsibility now?? why isn’t a seasoned adult taking care of the bulk of responsibilities until Jake grows up??? like I get that children’s power fantasies hit different when ur an adult b/c u can recognize what responsibilities a child shouldn’t have to deal with-- I GET that it’s good to let children explore mature responsibilities in fiction, I’m not arguing that. but these responsibilities should at LEAST make sense in-context, and NO adult should have knowingly thrust these duties on literal children w/o some DAMN good explanation for why they literally CAN’T assign dragon duties to adults. not to mention that the whole, “you’re selfish and need to learn better time management skills,” thing is such an insidious message to direct at kids who should literally only be expected to... be kids? I’m SO fucking mad abt this!!!

and don’t even get me STARTED on the fact that Jake is being trained by the Chinese Dragon, and Haley by the Korean Dragon. like, again, the show establishes that there’s only one ‘leader’ dragon for every nation, and that Lao Shi and Sun are the current dragons of their respective countries-- they haven’t resigned, as far as we know. so like, what happened to China and Korea (and now that I think abt it, which Korea??)? they just don’t have dragon protectors? fuck them, I guess, they’re on their own now? b/c training American dragons is so much more important than protecting their own countries? b/c a Chinese and Korean dragon somehow have better knowledge of American magical communities than the dragons that have actually been living there and presumably been serving those communities for decades (and b/c every Asian country is apparently interchangeable, so a Korean dragon is obviously perfectly fit to understand the cultural background of part-Chinese dragons)? hello???

now I AM at least willing to consider that perhaps the dragon council runs on enough shallow bureaucracy that their predecessors just arbitrarily decided to assign a single, young dragon to each country, and the current council is too stubborn to change that tradition even in the face of its clear problems. like, actual real-life political systems are absolutely fucked, so it tracks that a fantasy political system could be similarly broken. this doesn’t explain all the fuckshit, but it might at least explain some of the fuckshit. BUT none of these problems are ever brought up in the show, so we have to assume that they are somehow, canonically......... not actually problems..... ugh.............

and none of this even BEGINS to tackle the weird dragon monarchy over all magical-kind. like this obviously isn’t exclusive to AD, u see this sorta bloodline-bound authority thing in a LOT of western fantasy media. but the fact that the dragon council seems so utterly incompetent when u pick apart all the above issues, I’m just sitting here like... how have the trolls/elves/merfolk/etc. not guillotined y’all yet? lmfao

-Mod Spiral

[creepypastashavecomittedtaxfraud]

mind if i ask for some good soft stuff w Jeff and Toby? or Ben ! ...or EJ.........or Nina.... I'm sorry I will take literally anything I love ur hcs So Much and also Jeff needs more love uwu ((Gee Jeff how come u get to have so many bfs and a gf))

ILL DO SOME FOR EVERYONE!!! Jeff has50 billion partners we know this

this post got SUPER SUPER long i am so sorry everyonebut these r all like my favorite pairings ever SO…i wanna do them justice. under the cut because of the length!

Jeff x Toby

oh they just Love to mess with eachother and pull pranks on each other. toby especially loves to get at jeff withem. usually ends up making the other one just SO MAD

which then sometimes leads to playfighting .which then might lead to one of them getting pinned to the wall.which might end up in semi-angry makeouts .who knows hehe

parts-of-our-mouths-are-rotting-awaygang . toby likes kissing jeff a lil bit on his exposed teeth cus he thinksit’s funny. jeff acts annoyed by it but it makes him blush a little bit.

they both have the tendency to bekind of self destructive and just in general not doing basic self care stuff. sothey Try to keep a little bit of an eye on each other .they both hate to beover bearing but idk. they just care about each other a lot. And love eachother when they cant love themselves

toby and jeff both can be prettyemotionally explosive , so they try to keep each other as level headed aspossible. distracted and mentally ok so one of them doesn’t completely spiralout of control, though if that were to happen the other one will be there toget a hold of em.

The best way to calm either of themis grabbing a hold of them physically and holding their head in your arms untilthey chill out. Ungraceful maybe but effective and relatively easy.

they’re both pretty troubled, butthey’re trying to get it under control. They’re there for each other no matterwhat.

they like to go up to the humanworld late at night and fuck around. climb on stuff that shouldn’t be climbedon. play in fountains. vandalize shit. that’s date night for them. One day jeffgot ahold of some spray paint and they both went nuts with it, THAT was a goodday

Toby didn’t used to smoke till hemet jeff but now they’re both in it unfortunately aha..jeff kind of regretsgetting him into the habit but not much can be done about it now.

Since meeting Jeff toby’s definitelypicked up his kind of harsh sarcastic humor streak, and jeff’s actually gotten atiny bit nicer, though whether that’s of tobys influence or just the sideeffect of being in love is up for debate. So I guess there was a small exchangethere. They balance out nicely.

they both get beat up and injured alottt on the job, probably the most reckless ones of everyone. despite this,whenever the other one comes home all messed up the other one gets so freakedout and concerned, asking what happened and trying to take care of it. kind ofhypocritical but…they cant help it. 

they really really love each other.they wish they could both be healthier

Jeff x Ben

evenbefore they’re in a relationship they are Very close to each other. So whenthey actually get to dating, you know that’s solid. Nothing can tear themapart.

theywere very much, deeply in love with each other before ever admitting it . theyboth never wanted to say anything in case it ruined their close closefriendship but they both completely gave in eventually

they’rebest friends and best boyfriends at the same time. They’re each othersemotional and mental support. They love and care about each other so much, andare able to take care of each other so well because they so . deeply and intimatelyknow each other already. Yknow from being close for so long already. They reallydo trust each other with everything

it’slike they’re constantly together. They eat and sleep together, spend all daytogether, stay up all night together. It makes them happy, keeps them calm. The longest times they’re apart are when Jeff’s out killing or so injured he has to rest in his own room. 

Jeffhas his periods of really bad depression, and ben makes sure to be there forhim and take good care of him during these times. He’s very very calming andgentle and it keeps jeff calm and safe.

Ben,likewise, has long periods of bad depression too, which jeff helps himthrough. Takes care of him, keeps him distracted and comforted. Keeps himcompany.

Theyreally like to just hold each other and talk each other through things. Theyreally know how to communicate and what the other needs to hear and neverfeel lonely with the other around

Theylike to go out on the roof and smoke weed/cigarettes and kiss, sometimes they talksometimes they don’t. they could spend days alone with just each other.

They’ve known each other longer than they’ve known anyone else who lives there. that bond is special. and honestly, Jeff really is ben’s whole world. ben doesn’t know at all what he’d do without jeff. and jeff doesn’t know what he’d do without ben either. it feels like no one knows them like they know each other.

i guess the one little disconnect they have it ben doesn’t do the regular killing stuff like jeff does. doesn’t really get it. just stays home and does his own thing. sometimes he’s self conscious about it, like since he doesn’t do the same work as everyone else maybe he’s…weaker for it..or something. he doesn’t like to talk about it.

they’ve both been aloneand lonely for so long. Most of their lives really. So now that they have eachother they never ever want to let go

Jeff x EJ

Justas, a first things first, the moment ej sees jeff he already gets such a crushon him right away. It sounds so corny but he thinks jeff’s really the cutestguy he’s ever seen. A real love at first sight moment, even though hedefinitely doesn’t say anything about it at first.

EJ,also, is very much the caregiver type, and jeff desperately needs someone totake care of him, so they are really perfect for each other.

Jeffcan’t help but have a real soft spot for being taken care of , which ej is supposedto be doing for him anyway being the medic and all but still. Since ej’s been basicallyin love with jeff since forever he’s just so extra gentle and caring with himwhenever he’s hurt, it makes Jeff just melt…

I think ej’s very calm comforting level-headed logical personality is the main thing that makes jeff fall so hard for him. While he has other friends who try to help and support him ej actually seems to be the only one out of everyone who isn’t as badly effected by it. like he actually has the mental and emotional capabilities of supporting him. and slowly he just becomes so attached to and dependent on him, and he’s happy to love and support jeff

ej however has his really low points too, which jeff tries to help him through too. he holds ej in his arms and pets his hair or gently pats his back and listens to whatevers bothering him. which is all ej really needs. someone there with him. yknow

ej’svery casually affectionate, Jeff gets plenty of space if he wants but if they happento be around each other he loves to stand behind him and wrap his arms aroundhim, be close to him, touch his hair a little, run the back of his hand overhis cheek…really into light physical affection.

Couplevoted most likely to be caught making out in the closet randomly during the day

Ej isjust so completely in love with jeff, flaws and all, loves giving himattention, talking to him, taking care of him, giving him kisses. It is just embarrassinghow in love he is, even if he tries to only express it in private.

Jeffgets flustered and embarrassed easily with how sweet ej is to him, it stillgets him a little bit pink in the face even after being with him for so long, and tries to reciprocate it too. getting all cuddly and sweet with him when he feels the need to

Jeffloves bringing out ejs more outgoing social side. When they first met he wasvery reclusive and you know, loner-type, but jeff’s very outgoing andcenter-of-attention, so after some encouragement they’re both 100% party boystogether, which ej really needed. Being alone all the time was bad for him

Otherthan all that…They’re very strongly bonded and connected in a way they havetrouble describing. Ej just thinks jeff’s the most perfect man in the wholeworld , and Jeff thinks ej is just. perfect . so understanding and loving and caring and patient. he’s never met someone who puts up with his bullshit so well. and he is in Love

Jeff x Nina

Omg when nina finally gets to see him in person for the first time SHE IS SO EXCITED !!!! Runs up to him and gives him a huge hug, practically scooping him up off the ground !!!

He’s, very stunned at first, but gets his bearings back soon enough

After the initial rushed introduction, he learns why she’s here and he’s actually really flattered?

“You’re here??? For me??? you came all this way here to meet me???”

compliments really are the way to his heart lololol

and while he’s still kind of shocked from the whole thing….she is really cute….so that’s a plus

They spend a long time getting acquainted with each other, but nina naturally probably already knows a lot about him, which really just makes jeff more interested in her 

oh once they actually date for real nina is so happy!!! He’s everything she was hoping for and more!!! the guy of her dreams!!! he’s handsome and protective and cool but also sweet and caring and lets her cuddle up to him!!

Jeff has to come around to the idea first but once they’re dating for real he’s actually really happy too!!! She’s so energetic and sweet. its a much needed brightness to his life, he cant help but kind of fall in love with how affectionate she is. and how absolutely smitten she is with him

at the beginning she is very very clingy, goes everywhere with him,!! and he really does not object. honestly its a bit of an ego boost in addition to how much he really has accidentally fallen for her .

 but she does dial it down after a bit! she’s always just as sweet with him as ever though, as long as he allows it 

she’s actually a tiny bit taller than him, and uses that as an excuse to pick him up a little bit from time to time , which he protests, but she thinks its the cutest thing

she’s a very nurturing type girlfriend, she remembers all the stuff he has to do in a day and is checking in to remember if he’s done it. whenever he’s injured she insists on taking care of him

 EVERYONE notices after they start being together that he’s really cleaned himself up. like he showers regularly??? he’s started brushing his hair??? dressing?? semi-nicely??? he acts the same as ever, he’s just. cleaner. and everyone thinks she’s forcing him to be but actually he’s just started putting more effort in himself to impress his beautiful girlfriend, because he just reasons that she always puts so much care and effort into her appearance he should do, almost the same right?

[isvbcllvs-blog]

𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙏𝙈𝙕 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝘼𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙀… bella hadid is a twenty-three year old model. in past interviews she/her been described as +ambitious &. +visionary, as well as -deceitful &. -impatient. their insta is full of shots of magazine covers, diamond rings, stiletto heels. it’s always exciting to see what the cisfemale is up to next ! could her secret be our next headline ?

aye, folks ! i’m mimi and my fav things to do are causing havoc, consuming my body weight in guac & plotting 😉😉😉😉😉under the cut i’ve got a few bullet points about how i wanna portray bella & some plot ideas so if anything floats ur boat or u just wanna plot w/ urs truly hmu :-) :-) this is also gonna be a tag dump so ╮(￣ω￣;)╭ 

ok so here’s the thing - bella is legit loml BUT in this universe she’s gonna be more of a bitch than just an introverted person ??

like, she’s trying very hard to maintain this “i’m bad at smiling on cue but that doesn’t mean i’m mean” type of personality, but that’s only because she is smart & understands how fame works. so, basically she REALLY doesn’t have a lot of friends - there’s only a handful of people bella would consider calling her friends whilst others are just acquaintances. 

and don’t even get me started on any of the love interests - most of the times it’d be a couple of dates and maybe a hook-up type of deal because fear of commitment is real, folks

and the only sort of commitment in her life atm is her smoking addiction 🤷🤷🤷

other than calculated, bella is also v ambitious - like, maybe too ambitious for her own good. so with those two traits combined, it’s not a surprise to see her stepping over other people in order to book another job or just get that extra bit of publicity - and she doesn’t find it weird or ~ evil ~, because modeling world is a freakin jungle and u gotta do what u gotta do

whenever she’s not working or wrecking havoc, she’s either at the boxing studio or just roams around the city in disguise taking pics of other people (to her the latter is more a game of how much time she can spend out in the open before paparazzi catch up w/ her)

i promise she’s not a complete ass tho....... she’s just v career-oriented and disconnected from her emotions and feelings.....

as far as the plots go, i’ve got these few ideas:

“we’re friends for the cameras but really we only know/tolerate each other bc our managers think it’s good for our careers”

“you annoy me to the point where i want to rip my hair out, but i wouldn’t have it any other way”

the classic “rivals” plot

“you know a little too much about me and to make sure you don’t spill the tea to tmz i have to tolerate you”

“we’ve been thru it all but i/you screwed you/me over and wtf is going on with us now?”

i solemnly swear to come up w/ some more ideas but after i take a quick power nap bc finals have ma all sorts of sleep deprived.... bbl!