#disabled peoples are loved

[notreyev]

low spoon snack from my italian household to your feed: mini caprese salad

ingredients:

one bowl

fork

mozzarella balls

cherry or grape tomatoes

olive oil

balsamic vinegar

salt, pepper, and dried basil flakes to taste

take the mozzarella balls out of the package and put them in the bowl, along with some of that good good cheese juice for flavor

halve the tomatoes and put them in the bowl. you’ll want around the same amount of halved tomatoes as the mozzarella balls. you can count or just eyeball it, whatever works for you

very gently mix the mozzarella and tomatoes

add as much olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper, and dried basil flakes as your little heart desires. i’m not here to judge

mix again

absolutely devour your italian treat

additionally, make this in advance and pop it in the fridge in a tupperware. it marinates super well and is delicious. keeps until the cheese is questionable

please feel free to reblog with other low-spoon cultural snacks!! i would love to see it :D caprese salad (aka tomatoes and cheese) is eaten before or alongside a pasta meal in my home, with italian bread to soak up the juices after you’re done!

i love you and your spoons, however many you have today. eat food because you deserve it and your corporeal form is beautiful and does a lot for you. enjoy ❤️🤍❤️🤍

[thedisablednaturalist]

Kinda fucked up that we all coo and sympathize with "former gifted kids" but never talk about the students who had to stay late after school or over the summer for remedial classes/clubs, who struggled to get above a C, who were given up on or punished. Who tried so hard to understand or just couldn't. Who were grouped with the "stupid kids" (a classmate called us that in remedial math btw)

Autistic kids and adhders who can't relate to their gifted peers and are constantly alienated by them. Kids who struggled in school due to dealing with a chronic or mental illness or physical/learning/developmental disability. Those of us who have had to drop out of highschool or college. Kids who worked so hard and wanted to be seen as smart, but never were. Who watched as their peers seem to fly by them in school, while they were left behind. Who were bullied and put down by those in the gifted and honors classes. Whose confidence was absolutely destroyed by education.

I love you all and I'm so sorry the school system failed you. I'm sorry you weren't properly accommodated and given the education you deserved. I'm sorry people put you down for something that they never had to fight for.

[canonkiller]

but you can't keep holding on like this.

[stiffyck]

Good luck during pride month to all the aroaces who are gonna be blasted with "love is love" everywhere

Edit:

This post includes aplatonic people, loveless aros and any other people who fall anywhere on the aro and ace spectrum.

Stop saying "but theres platonic love and familial love-"

[housederiva]

Oh my god porn bots have moved to ao3

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[decora-kai]

Ive seen posts about how disabled people should be able to have hobbies and how we should be able to do things that we like if we enjoy it and if it doesnt hurt us, and yeah I totally agree, but like unpopular opinion ig, let disabled people do things they enjoy even if it hurts them.

I, as a chronically ill person, have things I enjoy doing that arent that good for my pain levels. For example, I enjoy going on walks, just for like an hour or so around my town and in the forest. I will most likely have a flare up the day after/for a couple days after and my legs will be aching most of the way through walking but I love it, not the pain but the walking and seeing places (specifically the woods, i love the woods so much omdddd). Another example is video games, which may sound like an odd thing to flare from for some, but with fast paced video games on console or pc, my fingers get very stiff and achey from moving around so much so quickly, and it tires me to have to even use my eyes sometimes but I really like playing them.

Obviously there are way more examples that I've missed but the point still gets across. Let disabled people have hobbies, even ones that may mess up their pain levels, or make them extremely fatigued etc.

[tuttle-did-it]

You know, it's genuinely sad to me that aging favourite character actors no longer have any fun murder-mystery tv shows to guest-star as murders on.

[bunnieswithknives]

AU based off Nature except I kept thinking about it too hard. Dales not a good dad, but its such an easy problem for him to throw money at, and what do you do when a part is damaged? Well, you replace it.

Basically an AU where Dev gets to experience medical trauma and realizes much sooner how much his dad doesn't love him

[shesnake]

24 hour time loops: not long enough to create or undo anything permanent, crazy-making but often still funny

365 day time loops: the most fucked up shit you could possibly imagine

[chronicpaingirlie]

just a small reminder for this disability pride month:

please accommodate yourself in whatever way you can. please accommodate your disabled loved ones in whatever way you can. please accommodate disabled strangers in whatever way you can.

the world is so inaccessible & hostile to disabled people. please make it as gentle for yourself & others as possible, in whatever small ways you can.

[crippledasinfuckyou]

sometimes a healthy relationship isn't 50/50 because it can't be, and that's okay.

disabled people who cannot take on an equal portion of the work in a relationship deserve to be loved too, if that's what they want. and as long as their partner is getting the support they need, and is happy to take on that work, then what's the issue? it's nobodys business but your own the way that works in your relationship.

if you or your partner are disabled, and you can't split the work in the relationship 50/50, that's okay. you're not abusive, or a baby, or unloveable because of that. I promise

[blachernaepalace]

about to inform romani people that the romani holocaust was a "side quest"

edit: also when nazis and other reactionaries say that a group they hate is connected to The Jews, that is almost always a post hoc justification for a hatred that already existed. eg nazis hated communists bc they threatened their ideal of a class collaborationist state, not bc of some mythical jewish connection

[uncanny-tranny]

I love you, trans people with intellectual disabilities. You deserve to have the same opportunities as everybody else, and that's because you are a person. You deserve to be happy. Intellectually disabled trans people deserve the exact same respect, recognition, and love that (should be) afforded to everybody else.

Intellectually disabled trans people, you deserve to make your own decisions about your transness. You are allowed to want for transition or to change your name, clothes, hair, pronouns, or anything else. You deserve support and understanding. I hope you are able to receive that. You belong in this world as your true self. Your transness and your disability/disabilities are not bad things - they are good, and they are important.

[wheelchairtetris]

Every disabled person deserves several million dollars to build or renovate their perfectly accessible ideal home I am not even joking. I would dismantle the us military in a heartbeat and give millions of dollars to every disabled and/or unhoused person so that they can have a home they love.

[maridotnet]

@shameboree​ this is for you (he’s wearing hokas)