#directors straight up asked me if i wanted to play the girl lead and i was like …..yeah onay HELP
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mayclair · 1 year ago
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guess who auditioned for the lead in the school play for the first time in their life tehehehehee
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clairedaring · 7 months ago
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Hi, I've seen your blog and it appears to me that you've watched a lot of gdh movies. So I was wondering this: what is your top 5 gdh movie? I, for my part, have only watched two so far: oh my girl ! and you, me and me which is one of my favorite movie this year so far.
it brings me to tears (happily) whenever someone talks to me about GDH films ಥ_ಥ so here are my favorite GDH films (in this order as of this moment, no. 2 to no. 5 interchange from time to time depending on my mood)
1. Bad Genius (2017) and Bad Genius: The Series (2020)
So whenever I'm asked about GDH, the first film I instantly recommend would be Bad Genius. Because not only is Bad Genius imho THE film that puts GDH on the map, I think it has a lot of influence on Thai cinematic works, and to some extent television works.
Essentially, Bad Genius is a story about Lin, a straight A student who team up with her friends to pull off a large scale cheating scheme on an SAT-like exam. It's a heist thriller drama that definitely leaves me feeling stressed out as hell as if I was there in the testing room with those students.
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I know it's kind of a cheat to also add this, but whenever I recommend Bad Genius, I also must recommend Bad Genius: The Series which is a 12 episode series that serves as a more detailed+sequel version of the film. I love this series because the young actors of the series gave me a fresh take on the characters I already know and loved so I had a great time falling in love with all of them again. The series fixed a few plotholes/qualms I had with the cinematic version as well as an extensive background story on Bank (played by Nonkul Chanon in film, Jaonaay Jinjett in series), my favorite character from this franchise so Bad Genius: The Series is the one work I cannot recommend enough.
One of the things I love about the series as well is that it also maintained the exact same vibes and cinematography like color-grading, camerawork...
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2. OMG! Oh My Girl (2022)
I am a sucker for 'seemingly unrequited love' and 'right person, wrong time' tropes so this film really hit ALL the spots for me at its release.
Stylisticaly speaking, I absolutely love the Wes Anderson-esque zoom-in-from-afar shots for comedic effect. many stellar comedic moments where i laughed out loud. I think the humor in this film is poignant, accompanied by great comedic timing from both leads.
One of the highlights of Oh My Girl aside from the many subversions to romcom clichés, I like how Guy (the ML played by the incredible Sky Wongravee) was a morally grey protagonist and that the film isn't afraid to call out his problematic "nice guy" facade. He's a self-aware jerk and I genuinely love his self-awareness.
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3. One For The Road (2021)
So I didn't watch this at release and it took quite a while before I gathered the determination to sit down and watch this on Netflix on a late rainy evening. Little did I know, I would soon be crying screaming bawling my eyes.
One For The Road is about Aood (Ice Natara) who enlists his estranged friend, Boss (Tor Thanapob) on a road trip to return items to his exes before he dies.
If I had a nickel for every time GDH wanted to give me a selfish, jerky male protagonist, I would have like four or five nickels but it's crazy that it's happened so many times (formulaically one would say) and here I am still empathizing and crying over these kinda jerky male protagonists.
The soundtrack was just brilliant. To quote a review I once wrote, the director, the music score and composer were truly out for blood with the soundtrack for this movie and they did it. This film is a good example of how important soundtrack and film scores are to elevate the narrative being told.
There are so many things to praise about the production but if I had to choose one thing, it would be the excellent mise-en-scene of this film. Every shot is dazzling, intentional and fill with metaphors. It was truly beautiful.
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4. Not Friends (2023) 
So I went into this thinking it would be Thai take on Dear Evan Hansen but I was so glad that it wasn't the case even though there are similarities.
Not Friends continues to deliver GDH's classic "selfish jerky male protagonist" with Pae (Anthony Buisseret) who just transferred to a new school in his last year of high school. Seeing no chances in getting into university through the entrance exam, Pae decides to enter a film contest by making a film about Joe (Jump Pisitpol), his seat mate who recently passed away.
The film had me bawling my eyes out in theatres by the end. I love that there were a lot philosophical questions like how much we value a friend's worth in the film. If you like Baipor/Anthony tandem in You & Me & Me, Not Friends is a must-watch for this acting duo reunion.
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5. The Con-Heartist (2020) 
So for the last spot, I debated a lot between two romantic comedies (both starring Baifern Pimchanok), The Con-Heartist (2020) and Friend Zone (2019). I recently rewatched the former and was reminded by how much I love the zany humor in this film so she gets the last spot.
The Con-Heartist is about Noina (Baifern Pimchanok), who is in debt because of her ex-boyfriend so she hires a con artist, Tower (Nadech Kugimiya) to help her get revenge against her ex-boyfriend by swindling him.
Even though it's billed as a romantic comedy, I think it's more comedy-leaning compared to Friend Zone but I love the comedic moments the two leads, Baifern and Nadech. พี่ไม่หล่อลวง by BamBam is the OST song for the film and it has never left my Spotify Wrapped for the last 3 years 😭
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+bonus: How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies (2024)
This is the first GDH film from 2024 and although it comes out in like two weeks, I can feel it's going to dethrone one of the films in my top 5 list for sure. If you're thinking of going to watch something at the cinema soon, I hope you consider checking out Lahn Mah this April!
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I hope you give one of these GDH films a chance. I love watching GDH films because although they can have different directors/team of scriptwriters, they always end up with certain similarities (be it cinematography or screenplay or characters). While not all GDH films are incredible masterpieces but out of the Thai production houses for films, I would say GDH 559 (and its predecessor GTH) has the most solid record of having strong and compelling cinematic works.
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joes-sha-la-la-la-girl · 10 months ago
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Love Bites: Chapter 4
Series Masterlist
Wednesday soon rolled around and Y/N couldn’t help the giddiness that overcame her as she went back to the studio. She had no idea what the boys had in store for this video but she was excited to find out. She was also excited to see Joe again. She knew that she shouldn’t be and that she had a boyfriend waiting for her at home. However, a part of her was wanting to pretend something could happen between them and how different things would be if only she wasn’t with Doug. 
As Y/N arrived, the receptionist from before let her straight through. The smile that crept onto her face was soon reciprocated when the band spotted her immediately. As she walked up to them, they all greeted her with a hug. Joe did so reluctantly, knowing that there was a chance that he wouldn’t be able to let go of her again. Luckily he had the strength to, but he felt himself shaking slightly. Joe had no idea how this woman had managed to make him feel this way in only one week. But she had. And he now had to face the consequences of it.
“It’s good to see you again Y/N.” Sav smiled at her after his lead singer let go.
“You too. Sorry about leaving so suddenly on Saturday night, Doug was tired.” Y/N excused her boyfriend. She wasn’t sure as to why she apologised for him, but she thought it was only polite to.
“No worries love.” Steve smiled at her. Y/N nodded her head and all the group could tell that there was something she wasn’t telling them.
Noticing the silence, Y/N decided to break it. “Happy Birthday Phil.” She grinned at the guitarist.
“Thank you darlin’” Phil smirked at her before they were all called to start.
*
They got on with filming the music video. Y/N’s main part was to be tied to a tree. She was to hang her head down and turn it from side to side but not look at the band. Y/N found that to be the hardest section of the video. The urge to lift her head and watch Joe nearly overwhelmed her but she managed to contain herself, not wanting to ruin the shot for the lads.
It wasn’t the most comfortable position to be stuck in but Y/N was grateful that she wasn’t back in a cage with women that she didn't know. She appreciated the directors' need to get her shot done quickly so that they could unchain her. During Phil’s guitar solo, her handcuffs would come undone and she could lower her arms. They were not tight on her wrists but she was thankful nonetheless that she had her arms back. 
After that section was done, Y/N was moved to sit down at a chess table with none other than Peter Mensch dressed as a monk. It didn’t take long to shoot the scene of the two of them playing chess, something Y/N was thankful for as she did not know how to play.
“Okay let’s have lunch.” The director yelled. Y/N stood up and walked over to where the band was gathered. They all greeted her again, commenting on how good she looked during the video. 
“So where are we heading for lunch?” Sav asked as the group moved towards the exit. ”Same place as last time?”
“Sure, you coming Y/N?” Rick asked the girl.
“Can do.” She smiled at the drummer as they all went to the little cafe that they went to last week. All the boys found it highly amusing that Y/N had to keep her makeup on in public due to the fact that they still had segments of the video to film.
They all made their way down the street to that little cafe that they visited before. Sitting down at a table, the light chatter filled the air as they all decided on what they wanted. Sav and Y/N going up to order for the group.
“So how’s Doug?” Sav asked as they waited to order their food.
“He’s uh fine.” Y/N told him, trying to sound confident but failing to do so.
“Really? Look I know that it’s none of my business, but we are all going to be spending a lot of time together over the next few months and I want you to know that you can talk to me okay?” He told her sincerely. The glint in his blue eyes told Y/N that he knew a lot more than what he was letting on.
“Okay.” She gave him a small smile before her attention was taken away by the server.
The two ordered for everyone before going over to sit down and wait for it to be ready. Y/N couldn’t help but notice that Joe was being rather quiet. Granted she didn’t know him all that well yet but last week he had presented himself as outgoing and friendly. Today however, he looked almost glum. No matter how much the rest of the group tried to involve him in the conversation, they only gave one or two worded answers in return. 
*
They got back to carry on filming. Y/N had her makeup touched up again as they prepared to film the middle part of the video. Joe would be holding a sword as he walked down the path set out for him with Y/N standing behind him. Again this section didn’t take long to film and Y/N was done for the day. She was watching them all as she removed her makeup and tried to tame her hair a little bit, knowing that with all the hairspray, not much could be done until she washed it out. 
It came to the end of the day and she said goodbye to all the lads, knowing that she wouldn’t see them again until the tour started in two months. Each of them gave her a hug as the said bye, all telling her that they couldn’t wait for the tour.  She returned the sentiment before making her way out of the building, feeling down that she wouldn’t be in their company again for two months.
She soon made her way to Doug’s car and got in silently.
“You took a while again today.” Was the first thing he said to her as she got in the car.
“I told you last week that I don’t know how long the videos are going to take.”
“Even so. I’ve been waiting ages.” 
Y/N just rolled her eyes at him, not bothering to respond, knowing that he just wanted another argument.
“I’m serious Y/N, how do I know what you are doing in there with all those men.”
“What do you mean? You know exactly what we are doing. We are shooting a video. It’s not just me and the band you know. There are loads of people there.” She told him.
“I just find it weird how my girlfriend wants to spend so much time with other men rather than her own boyfriend.”
“I spend so much time with you Doug. Whenever you are not at work you are with me. Whether that be at home, or rehearsals or waiting in the bloody car for me.” Y/N could feel the tempers rising in the small car. 
“When’s the tour?” Doug changed the subject slightly.
“February.”
“So it’ll be you with those men again?”
“Yes, as well as Tammy, Johnny and Benji.”
“Do you have to go?”
“What?”
“You heard me Y/N. Do you have to go on tour with them?”
“Yes Doug this is huge for the band. Why wouldn’t I go?”
“I just don’t trust those rockstars.”
“It doesn’t matter. You should trust me.” Y/N tried not to shout knowing that it would only make matters worse.
“I should go with you.”
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🤍🤍🤍
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posebean · 1 year ago
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Summer Rain: Prologue
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Writer: Beanosei
Season: Spring
Characters: Rinne, Niki
Niki: MMFGHDMDMDNFM
Spring
Around the same time as ES Chocofes. In a studio somewhere in Tokyo.
Rinne: “Why won’t you listen to me? What are you so afraid of?”
Rinne: “If you keep running, you’ll get lost in the storm. It’ll sweep you away in an instant.”
Rinne: “I’ll lose sight of you. I don’t want that to happen.”
Niki: “…” Rinne: “Well?” Niki: “I…”
Niki: Wait, wait, wait, CUT Niki: CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!!!
Rinne: Oi Niki. We’re filming, don’t be difficult for the poor staff. (lunges forward and grabs him in a chokehold) Niki: GYAAAAAA I’M AGAINST VIOLENCE I’M AGAINST VIOLENCE
Niki: Let me go Rinne-kun I can’t eat if I’m dead!! (struggling)
Rinne: Sorry staff-san~ Let me set him straight. Just give him some food, he’ll be back to cooperating again.
Niki: I can hear you, you know!
Niki: What do you think I am? A dog?!
Rinne: You bark like one~ Now shut up Niki~kyun and be a good boy~
Niki: The worst! Rinne-kun is the worst! Save me Himeru-kun, Kohaku-chan! Rinne: What are ya doin calling for other men when I’m here~ Infidelity, infidelity~
Rinne: (Covers Niki’s mouth with his hand) Sorry Staff-san, I think we need a break. We’ll be ready in a few minutes.
Niki: MMFGHDMDMDNFM
Niki: (Breathes heavily as he’s released) Rinne-kun…
Rinne: Well? Does Niki have something he wants to say~? (holds a fist up)
Niki: (backs away, careful) What is going on?! Rinne: What do you mean what’s going on, you bastard? Are you blind? We’re working.
Niki: I know that! But that doesn’t answer my question at all!!!
Rinne: Be quick, looks like Staff-san are about to call the break off~
Niki: Shut up and answer my question, Rinne-kun!
Rinne: I already did~ Niki: UGH! I mean. Didn’t we as Crazy:B get a part in a movie? Rinne: Yep, Niki’s right about that.
Niki: Where’s Kohaku-chan and Himeru-kun? Aren’t they supposed to be here?
Rinne: Nope~ It’s just our lines for today. They have a different filming time.
Rinne: Geez, does Niki listen to the morning briefings from your leader at all? Or are ya too busy stuffin your face with the free breakfast they provide~
Niki: Shut up, I'm not done asking questions! 
Niki: Aren’t you the male lead? The director specifically asked for you, too.
Niki: Which was weird because though I know Rinne-kun is a good actor, that’s not public knowledge.
Rinne: Director-san just has a keen eye~ Niki: This is a summer romance movie, right? One of those movies that highschool girls drool over like food?
Rinne: Yeah~ Where’s Niki~kyun going with this? 
Rinne: Look, Staff-san seem to be getting the equipment ready again. We should get into place.
Niki: That’s the thing! If Rinne-kun is the male lead, this is a romance movie, and we’re filming right now…
Niki: Why am I here!!!!!!!!!!!?
Rinne: Niki’s asking unnecessary questions~ Come on, we gotta reshoot that scene you ruined.
Niki: No! Why am I the female lead?! Or at least something like that?! I’m a man!!
Rinne: You really haven’t listened to anything I’ve said, huh. This isn’t like that~
Rinne: We’re appealing to a different crowd this time, Niki~kyun. The ones that drool over the bonds between two men ♡
Rinne: Your Rinne-kun might’ve pulled a few strings to get you such a good part~ Where’s my thanks? Niki: I never asked for this part!! I don’t want it!!
Rinne: Too bad~ If you don’t play that part we’ll have to let the poor Director-san know that we’re dropping out.
Rinne: They seemed to really~ want me but I refused to do it without my Niki~kyun~
Niki: The worst! The absolute worst person is here!
Rinne: You wouldn’t want to ruin everyone’s plans, would you, Niki~kyun? Niki: I should’ve never listened to you! No, I should’ve never taken you home!
Rinne: (grins knowingly)
Niki: (Ugh! Why did I think that nothing would go wrong?! I knew I shouldn’t have trusted Rinne-kun!)
Niki: (Why did I listen to him back then? This is all his fault!!!)
[Next] [Masterlist]
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hangon-silvergirl · 2 years ago
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Both Hollywood Celebrities AU for hc game?
Ooh, I had to have a good think about this one, and I've written so much here that I may actually have to write this story because it sort of took over my brain for a spell there:
Chrissy gets her start in a teen drama show where she played a stereotype--popular girl with a heart of gold, probably a cheerleader--and has struggled against it somewhat for typecasting in her career; she's been able to move on successfully from TV to film, but it's been mostly to romantic comedies. Romcoms are a ton of fun, and Chrissy honestly really enjoys making them (she's actually really great with the physical comedy bit as well), and does well with them as a leading lady in that space, very America's Sweetheart; the media reports that getting cast opposite her is like a rite of passage for actors. She really doesn't feel like the industry takes her seriously, and wants a role that she can sink her teeth into; an opportunity to shake things up, and show the world exactly what she's capable of.
Eddie's career kicked off with him playing an iconic serial killer in a teen slasher that ended up with a massive cult-following, and he reprised the role in a couple of sequels. He ends up carving out a bit of a niche in the horror world, plus becomes a staple in comic book/video game movies, almost an inevitability like, "Oh yeah, that guy is in everything, and he always dies in like, the first 30 minutes." Eddie loves the gore and the themes and the costumes and the horror and what not, but like Chrissy he keeps putting out feelers for something more challenging, and a real leading role, where he gets real-time in the spotlight.
After delivering stellar auditions, they end up getting cast opposite one another in a Blondie biopic playing Debbie Harry and Chris Stein. There are OPINIONS about the casting, because most people don't think they're up for it, think that they don't have the chops, and think that they're gonna botch it. The widespread belief is that the movie's gonna be garbage. The director is a relatively unknown woman, and the screenplay was also written by unknown women, adapted from Harry's biography Face It; Harry herself has a writing credit and ends consulting on set. When asked about how things are going she says that she thinks 'these kids are gonna blow you all outta the water.'
Eddie and Chrissy both insist on recording their own performances for the film/soundtrack. Eddie lays the guitar tracks; Chrissy takes voice lessons to help her get the sound right.
The end result is that they both kill it. The movie is a huge commercial and critical success. It sweeps every award ceremony; takes home Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Picture nearly across the board. Eddie and Chrissy become media darlings, especially with their flirty, physical interviews. Everyone loves them, raves, etc.
And everyone asks if they're dating. There's tons of speculation, and the questions are constant. And the paps catch them out for lunch and out and about, but there's never PDA or anything physical that couldn't be attributed to them having 'developed a close friendship' on set. And neither of them ever give a straight answer about anything.
And no one really gets one until Eddie and Chrissy show up on the red carpet for the Oscars together, wearing wedding rings, and with Chrissy in a super form-fitting gown that shows off her sweet little baby bump. In their Oscar acceptance speeches they express how thankful they both are to have gotten this opportunity, not only the wonderful recognition for their roles and the film, but also for having met one another and fallen in love. Chrissy proclaims: "No more rites of passage, sorry!" and Eddie says, "Maybe they'll stop killing me in everything now, heh."
Thanks for the ask, anon! Request comes from this post: Send Me an AU & I'll Give You 5+ Headcanons About It.
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jandjarchive · 1 year ago
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Friday the 13th Interview on JoBlo.com
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Featuring jared being his rambling self. What I would give to have this one on video...
They tell us that as much of the violence is in this movie there's also sex. Do we get to see you topless?
(laughs) Not yet! If there are reshoots who knows they might try and yank off my shirt.
I'm being equal because we were wondering about the female cast.
No man.
And it's only fair to ask.
It's absolutely fair to ask. That was also something that I brought up with the writers and producers and the director because I'm wearing like a form fitting shirt and I was like 'Listen guys... I'm already on the CW, which is kind of like the pretty boy network. The last thing I want to do is do this movie with a lot of fans and just be like 'Hey, here's me taking my shirt off.' And like be kind of douchebaggy. I was like honestly, I wanted Clay to just be a normal guy. I didn't want him to be like 'Hey, here I am. I'm a sex symbol. Watch me fight Jason. I'm cool. I'm a ninja. Blah blah.' I just wanted to be a guy trying to find his sister. Not about how he looked, whether he worked out or whatever. So I steered clear of the topless scenes.
full text with images:
Jared Padalecki has been around for a couple years now, finally breaking through and scoring his first leading role in FRIDAY THE 13TH. Some may know him from his starring roles in GILMORE GIRLS and the popular genre show SUPERNATURAL. He's also got a couple genre movie credits to his name in HOUSE OF WAX and CRY_WOLF, so as you can see he's definitely a fan of the genre. We caught up with the young actor while on the set of FRIDAY THE 13TH. The time was around 3 AM and Padalecki had just approached us munching on a bag of Doritos Cool Ranch chips. Regardless of it being early morning and having worked all night, Padalecki was upbeat and ready to sit down with us and answer some questions. Little did he know that as soon as the interview was over he'd be wrapped for the night, lucky him!
JARED PADALECKI
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It's always this time of night where there's nothing to eat so you just go straight to the craft service table. Bunch of peanuts and Skittles and now some Cool Ranch chips. Terrible, terrible. And then you say why did I do that? Oh yeah it was 3 o clock in the morning and I couldn't think straight.
Tell us about your character and what you’re doing in the movie.
I play Clay Miller. Basically my involvement in the movie is I start out and we don't know much about me. We just know that I'm looking for my sister who's gone missing. So I go out to Camp Crystal Lake not knowing the legends and not knowing what's out there and what happens on Friday the 13th. And that's when I run into another group of young guys and gals who are out there for a camping trip and then horror ensues. I'm sure you can all imagine where we go from there, right?
How familiar were you with the earlier films?
I seen the first one and I seen FREDDY VS JASON. I'd seen one of the other ones, I assume the second one, where he had the burlap sack still. Because the first one he obviously wasn't the villain and then FREDDY VS JASON I had seen, I had some buddies that were in that and I went and watched it. But mostly I was familiar, I knew the story. Everybody knows Jason Voorhees whether you've seen one or ten or zero. From then obviously Friday the 13th and the whole legend behind that, there's not a Friday the 13th that goes by... It's funny. I got home from work last night at like... I don't want to exaggerate, I want to say it was like 5.. no 6:30 am ok. The hotel leaves your stereo on like classic music. The guy who was in-between songs was like 'Well here on blah blah blah we have a long day of beautiful classical music in case you want to stay in and not go risk those Friday the 13th roads and that Friday the 13th traffic and blah blah blah.' And literally as I walked into the door and I was like 'weird man' and I just turned the radio off and went to sleep. But I knew the legend, Friday the 13th. And I knew Jason.
Was this something you pursued or was it something that was pitched to you? What was your first reaction when you read the script?
I had seen AMITYVILLE that Platinum Dunes had redone and I had seen the original TEXAS CHAINSAW that Platinum Dunes and Marcus had done, or the remake, the original remake. And I had seen THE HITCHER, Sophia Bush is a friend of mine. I loved, I enjoyed them all but I loved the TEXAS CHAINSAW remake and I watched it actually when I did HOUSE OF WAX. The director sat us down and as a cast we watched the movie. He's like this is a recent horror remake that's done really well that I think is really good and so I want you guys to watch it. We watched it and we were like... man that's good. It's interesting, it tells a story visually. It's hard to remake a classic and give homage to the original but still make it new and interesting for younger audiences and different audiences. So I found out about this script from my manager, it was during the strike and I was about to go do some international press for SUPERNATURAL, that's a show that I'm doing on CW. I was literally about to fly out... four or five days later or something and I hear hey, the strike wasn't over yet and they're like listen, there's this movie FRIDAY THE 13TH the remake, I was like 'Oh this movie, I know what that is.' The director is in town and Brad Fuller, one of the producers is in town and they want to meet with you. I was like 'Well can I see the script?' They were like 'Okay we're emailing it to you right now, print it up, they want to have dinner with you tonight.' And I was like 'Alright.' 
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I'm assuming your going right back to work after this?
Yeah (laughs). I'm doing international press in Australia next week so I leave from Dallas on Wednesday to go to Australia for a few days and then we're supposed to start shooting the first week of July. No rest for the wicked right? I had like a three month break during the strike so I can't bitch and moan too much, but yeah straight from SUPERNATURAL to FRIDAY back to SUPERNATRUAL[sic].
How long do you shoot SUPERNATURAL?
Nine months.
Straight?
You have two weeks off for Christmas; you get a four day weekend for Thanksgiving and Presidents Day and stuff like that. From July 2nd I think we're supposed to wrap the first week April.
What's your favorite kill in this movie?
My favorite kill is the kill of the police officer who comes to sort of check up on us. We hear knocking and we know Jason's outside and we know someone’s killing off these people in this group of friends that I've hooked up with. We hear a knock on the door and at first we're a little panicky but we're like why would this guy knock? So we go to check out the door and it's a police officer, so I start to let him in and as I let him in Danielle Panabaker's character Jenna sees Jason basically drop down from the roof and shove a fireplace poker through the police's eye, through the door, it ends up right in front of me and then we take off. That's really the moment in the movie where everything has sort of come to a head, and then just explodes. It's like man, everything is so fast paced, and everything’s so hectic. The audience is really going to be on the edge of their seat from that moment on. Not like they wouldn’t before. That's when the break line breaks and it's full speed ahead for the rest of the movie.
What's been your favorite part of this whole shoot?
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They tell us that as much of the violence is in this movie there's also sex. Do we get to see you topless?
(laughs) Not yet! If there are reshoots who knows they might try and yank off my shirt.
I'm being equal because we were wondering about the female cast.
No man.
And it's only fair to ask.
It's absolutely fair to ask. That was also something that I brought up with the writers and producers and the director because I'm wearing like a form fitting shirt and I was like 'Listen guys... I'm already on the CW, which is kind of like the pretty boy network. The last thing I want to do is do this movie with a lot of fans and just be like 'Hey, here's me taking my shirt off.' And like be kind of douchebaggy[sic]. I was like honestly, I wanted Clay to just be a normal guy. I didn't want him to be like 'Hey, here I am. I'm a sex symbol. Watch me fight Jason. I'm cool. I'm a ninja. Blah blah.' I just wanted to be a guy trying to find his sister. Not about how he looked, whether he worked out or whatever. So I steered clear of the topless scenes.
When you are putting together this character, do you spend a lot of time thinking about a back-story? Is that an important part of your process or do you feel like it's important to the film?
It is. It's important to my process and it’s important to the film. I always start the process of building a character by just reading the script over and over and over again to where you’re kind of trying to hook into his motivations and instincts and what's driving him. Which is also why it's little things, little lines here and there. You’re like hey listen, earlier in the movie I say this and now I'm saying that, it kind of contradicts, can I change it up a little bit? And they're like yeah of course we didn't even think about that. Or this is from this version and that's from that version. The back story’s important and usually you get the chance to talk to other characters, other actors and actresses in the movie about like hey, let's think about how we know each other, how we met each other. But really the only character in this movie that I know is my sister, so all the people that I spend most of the movie with I meet them during the course of the movie. So it was nice to have that freedom to introduce my own character. Who knows if it comes across and who knows if I even get into it, but just so I know. And also the scripts usually will you know... Up rides Clay Miller. 23. Athletic. Blah blah blah blah blah. It kind of gives you a little outline and then little expositional things. I'm talking to Jenna, Danielle Panabaker's character about my sister and I's relationship and how it's been since my mother's death and blah blah blah. You get hints from the script and then you’re sort of free to do your own thing.
You mentioned fighting Jason earlier. Do people actually fight Jason a lot during this movie or are they mostly running from him?
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Does the sense of comrodery[sic] with Derek and the rest of the cast, does it make it easier or does it maker it tougher for you to center yourself when you go back in and you have to be scared?
I guess for everybody it's different. For me it makes it a lot easier. I'm not method, like I don't not enjoy my work. If I'm playing somebody who's sleep deprived, I sleep 9 hours a night. (laughs) I don't want to get to work and be miserable because it keeps me... it messes with my focus. And likewise I don't want to worry about not getting along with somebody that I'm working with, like be fakey during the day just so that you could get on but it’s nice to be friends with somebody. Because it's so weird and it's so... I'm bruised up and banged up and there's scenes where we're having fights and I cut my face open for real during the fight and it's like ughh. You don't want to go from that to 'And cut.' And then like you don't want to talk to anybody, you don't want to go 'oh dude I think I just cut my face' because you don't like the guy. It's nice to go 'Derek, I think I just messed myself up.' He'll be like 'What, you alright?' And you'll be like 'Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Jeez I'm having a scotch when I get home' or something. 
It's nice to be able to vent a little bit, you can't burn the candle on both ends. It's nice in between takes to sit down and have lunch with everybody and joke around and kid around. Otherwise... you spend so much time with these people... I have a director named Kim Manners, he's one of our directors/producers on SUPERNATURAL. He's always like 'If I didn't enjoy working with you guys, I would quit because there's no point...' And this is his quote to me, I'm not married but he's like 'I spend more time with you guys than I do with my wife, with my kids, with my dog, with my best friend, with my family... if I didn't like you all, why would I want to spend so much time with you guys. Money? How much do you want? I'd rather enjoy my life and not have as much money. Just work to make money and not have a shitty time doing it.' So it's really nice in my opinion to get along with everybody.
Obviously your no stranger to this genre, with HOUSE OF WAX and SUPERNATURAL and stuff. Do you plan on doing more horror films after this? Are you going to stay to that track? You know the routine from being in HOUSE OF WAX. Were you surprised? Was it different from FRIDAY THE 13TH, like the physical routine and everything?
Absolutely. The first question, as far as staying in the genre. It's a genre that I'm a fan of, and I've always enjoyed scary movies and horror movies and scary shows. I grew up watching THE TWILIGHT ZONE with my old man and stuff like that. If the role’s right and the character’s right or I want to work with some directors or producers. Each job is so specific, I'm not sure I'm at the point in my career... like Clooney or Brad Pitt or something.. it's like bring me a comedy, I want to do a comedy. And then 20 comedies show up at your door and your like no, no no, I'll take this one. For me, I'm still in a process where I have to sort of fight for the roles I want. This was a role I wanted, so I fought for it. I guess it was coincidental that it happened to be in a genre that I was so familiar with and comfortable with and a fan of. As far as the process being different, it's been very different. 
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Has there been a scene or sequence or specific thing that you've done that you consider to be the most challenging or the most fun? Or are those two things mutually exclusive?
They're not mutually exclusive. Sometimes they coincide. For me, the most challenging was my sort of ultimate confrontation with Jason. It being a horror movie, it's night, and it being a horror movie, it's raining, and it being a horror movie, we're in a barn... fighting... for our lives. So in between every take they’re' spraying you down with water and throwing mud and dirt on you and you just feel banged up and bruised up. Derek is a joy... because there are a lot of parts.. I'm not a stunt man, so I don't do my own stunts and I try and do my own fight scenes as much as I can but Derek is a stunt man. So there's a part where I kind of... because I don't know what else to do, I sort of grab him and sort of run him back as best I can, like try and push him into the wall. A few times... I'm in like designer boots and tight jeans... you can't really move in it and my boots are all wet and it's muddy and it's starting to get sloshy. So my feet are like slipping out and I'm literally basically just leaning on Derek. I weigh 220 pounds and I'm holding onto Derek for dear life and he just... in character.. resets his feet, lifts me up and he's like 'Ok go ahead.' And he has the mask on so no one can see him say 'Ok go ahead' but I can hear him and I'm like thanks man and I'm back on my feet and doing it again. 
So that and you get bruised up and banged up. I still have some bruises on my lower back and my side, I'm not injured where I'll never walk again or something but just little paper cuts and your going where did that come from, come on. And the medics coming in because you get dirt and dust in your eyes and you can’t touch your eyes because you have dirt and mud all over your fingertips and your just sitting there going can I have some water and it looks like you’re crying. So then all the crew guys make fun of you... its fine. It was a lot of fun but that was the most challenging. And the most fun was probably the sequence I was talking about with the police officer getting pokered because we had a few different sets and there's a cool shot... when you see the movie you'll see, with like half sets and the camera moving to the outside of the door kind of following the poker and then ending up right in front of me. When I was shooting that, I remember thinking to myself.... probably the worst thing an actor could think... but like man this is going to look cool! You’re supposed to stay in the moment and do your thing and be true to the character but I couldn't help but start thinking like... this is going to rock. It's cool to shoot that and then know that it's going to look cool on camera and the audience is going to go it's cool how they do that. So that's probably the most challenging and the most fun, so far on this shoot.
Well is there anything you can tell us about the upcoming SUPERNATURAL season? Apparently Dean might be in Hell a little longer than people think. Can you elaborate on that at all?
I don't know a whole lot about specifics, but I do know that a few episodes are written and that they're going to give me the outlines for them very very soon. I do something weird... I do it during the shooting of SUPERNATURAL, but if we're shooting episode 1 and episode 2 comes out, I won't even read episode 2 until I'm done with 1 because I don't want to start thinking about it. It started because in Season 2 I had a sex scene and I read about it 2 episodes before so all I did was like oh man I have to wake up and go to the gym and your just thinking about what's going to happen 3 weeks from now instead of just worrying about what your shooting. I've been careful about A. with the demanding schedule with FRIDAY and B. while shooting this I don't want to get... it sounds cheesy, but I don't want to start getting into Sam Winchester while playing Clay Miller. But I've heard sort of whisperings of he's going to be in Hell and I might have to find out a way to go get him... which would be wicked cool. I hope they end up doing that and there are whisperings that Sammy's going to have to go a little bit more dark side than we've seen him, which I've been waiting for years to do, so I'm excited about that.
Excellent. That sounds very interesting. When will that they be planning on premiering that?
They're starting us the first week of July...
So it would be like a Fall kind of thing?
Yeah. I know they want to air us with SMALLVILLE, which probably starts shooting earlier because usually SMALLVILLE premiers and then we premiere a couple weeks later but they're bringing us back a couple weeks earlier so that we can premiere. Probably late August, early September is my hope.
Excellent. Sweet.
Right on guys! Thank you.
Thanks.
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notmuchtoconceal · 4 months ago
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Keep referring to Michael Fassbender as Fassbinder cause I haven't actually seen a lot of German movies, and he's my primary point of familiarity.
Love is Colder Than Death (Liebe ist kalter als der Tod) aside from being the greatest title ever attached to a film is so clearly a zero budget German Breathless knock-off held together by sheer passionate striving, I will always love it.
I fucking love humble beginnings like this, where an artist is following a clear lead, but doesn't need to be defined by it cause he ain't a bitch more concerned with artificially inflating or distinguishing himself as a form of covert self-sabotage. Boo hoo. Woe is me! I'm not good enough to be the author of my own life and work with people to create real stories which have a life in people's hearts and national markets.
God, when I was like 22, or 23 this fucking dude who was maybe 18 or 19 and dated a girl the same age as me when I was 14 (meaning he was 27 or 28 at the time) wanted me to finish the screenplay for a film he was making, since I was a writer and he evidently wasn't. Apparently he knew I had zero interest in ghostwriting his sub-Kevin Smith style dreck (Kevin Smith being uneven in that Joss Whedon-y way, where his craftsmanship can be middling, but his best works come from the heart, while his weakest rely on stylistic trademarks as advertised) so he had to sucker me in somehow. He told me, and I quote, that he wanted to see "my version" of his film.
He knew he was appealing to my narcissism to entice me, treating me like a collaborator, when in fact, he wanted to scrub every original idea I brought, keep the skelton of the story I filled out, and you know... maybe, maybe keep some of the jokes I added, if they weren't too gay. (Gay jokes in the mind of straight dudes are always deflections, dares, forms of impotent negotiation.)
So I held him to it. Being primarily a prose stylist with a novelistic sensibility, I was aware of certain structural differences between a novel and film plot, and I figured I'd just learn by doing. I figured writing a screenplay would help me improve my dialogue, a feature of my writing I wasn't confident in at the time. I had a month, and editing and polishing is often the most time-intensive part of writing, and I didn't really feel any of his characters, or understand the heart of his story, so I figured...
Yeah, just go for it. Write way too much. Take those unnecessary detours. See what the characters do. Experiment. Play around. Have fun. Once it's done, and you see where it went, you'll have the shape of the whole in mind. Once you have the essence of the characters, you can distill that and streamline their portrayal. Basically, it was the type of bloated but fascinating hybrid work you typically get when having novelists write screenplays, or see in writer/directors who operate more novelistically.
This dude fucking hated it.
Sure, it ended up being three hundred pages, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was I made it mine. The problem was I did exactly what he fucking said he wanted, but he was acting in bad faith, trying to manipulate me and it blew up in his face
I told this fucker "Yeah, I know it's long. Just give it a read. Got a pretty good idea of what needs to be cut, and can deffo get this under 120 pages."
Cause, uh... You know. It ain't fuckin hard to figure out what's necessary. I admit and take delight in dense, maximalist styles, though also -- I equally delight in an understated poetic minimalism. I really admire lean, athletic works with all the fat trimmed off. All I asked this fucker was to read the screenplay he asked me to write a single-time, then talk to me about it. Man to man. As a fellow artist.
That was too fuckin hard for him. He immediately got defensive and frightened and protective of the work he asked to make mine (as though his version somehow didn't still exist in the draft he sent me). He accused me of trying to steal his film from him, as he would exasperatingly whine "If we can get it down to time!" as though dragging a mouse cursor over redundant scenes I wrote to amuse myself and hitting delete were somehow an insurmountable labor. It was like ... you want to keep all the work I did, but you don't like any of the work I did?
Like, I figured we'd sit down in the same room at some point and discuss the changes, or our differing views of the characters, or the heart of the story, or uh... At least have an email correspondence.
Nope. Totally clammed up. Ass cemented shut.
Started to gradually exclude me more and more from the production, as if he now needed to reassert his sole personal vision after asking to see mine, while also feeling overwhelmed by the mess I lead him into it. He seemed to want to film without a complete screenplay, which would be a production nightmare, cause what if you rewrote a scene and then needed to refilm something? Like, usually you go into a lengthy cost-consumptive task like shooting a film with a firm foundation, but nah. Maybe I was expecting too much by asking him to read? I was experiencing the pure childlike joy of creation and excited to make a movie, but I guess I was just way too fucking intimidating for him.
At the time, I felt so spurned and neglected, nearly heartbroken. I didn't know where this was coming from. My assumption was he'd be able to tell what was and wasn't relevant to his version of the story, but I was also likely expecting too much by thinking he was interested in story. Directing and starring in a movie was apparently a pure power fantasy with the aim to capitalize on known cultural fixtures to receive attention from an established ego mass because his story didn't have any heart, and he didn't have a soul. He didn't want to finish the movie because he didn't want to be recognized, being nothing, so he found a convenient way to make me an insurmountable obstacle hampering him from his hopeless dreams.
I know what I like, and I love what I do. I'm still overjoyed to create, and I'd like to create more with people, but tiny dicks and big egos seem to get in the way, many it seems not wanting to create for the right reasons, they themselves being unmade.
Anyhoo, you can clearly see how the follow-up in this collection, Katzelmacher connects to Fassbinder's theatrical roots, it very much having the feel of a filmed stage play, with minimal character and camera movement, but plenty of dialogue. I confess, the only other film in this set I can remember much of is The American Soldier (Der amerikanische Soldat) mostly for its haunting score and boffo finale. It was the first time I felt Fassbinder's aesthetic sense cohere into something unique and memorable, where I could begin to see his influence on someone like Tarantino.
I confess, a huge part of why I immediately loved Inglourious Basterds was I had just gone on a major Godard binge and it felt like seeing a French New Wave film in a multiplex, what with half of it being subtitled and all the fourth-wall breaking artifice.
Breathless remains a weird, hilarious, absolutely intoxicating noir film, with a tone absolutely true to its title. Jean-Paul Belmondo is a hot af boxing stud and I love him running around in a fedora doing a Humphrey Bogart impersonation. I remember my high school film studies professor, Mr. Costigan (who filled that class as a labor of love, and was also my yearbook and drama instructor) thinking it "didn't hold up" after he showed it to me, and frankly I just felt he didn't remember how to be young.
Anyway, now I'm talking about French movies. We all know the reputation of French movies, but tell me bro. How many fuckin French movies have you actually seen? Do you let the idea of other people's masturbatory pretensions close your heart to the sublime? Is nothing worth doing cause you're spending all your time posing as someone who isn't a poseur? God. Isn't it fucking exhausting, living up to the ultimate pretension of agreeable normalcy?
Imagine being the type of fucking twerp who feels a twinge of resentment and rage at someone else owning Criterion movies cause you think you can pass for a sophisticate with your consumer choices.
When I first got into fucking film, streaming wasn't a thing and I pirated everything, like constantly. I would download five or six films a night, then watch them on my shitty laptop in the dark. I fucking both felt bad for stealing, and also, yeah -- wanted to watch the films uncompressed and on a real television. There was a lot of fucking shit I would "steal" -- not only music and movies, but property, energy, souls. I'd felt I was on a largely invisible redemption arc, for ultimately my own moral integrity amounted to nothing but a private daydream in an amoral world, as if my attitudes weren't shaping my reality. To me, supporting the creators of the artworks I admired once I had the means to do so (even if it was largely symbolic) mattered more than how I'd appear for buying things cause shit's how it is, not how it looks.
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intonightcity · 1 year ago
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Jackson took in this scene like a proper soap opera. The supposed accused who walled herself up finally letting it all show is a sight to see. She’s not putting on an act. She’s genuinely upset. Maybe even a little bitter but then the detective’s seen worse come his way. Wynter seems hell bent on having her here so he can’t argue. This case needs an ending. A statement is what he came for and if he’s got to sit here while he runs facts with his girlfriend in bed with him that’s how it’s gonna be. He can’t help but think of Phaedra. If something ever happened to him on the job what she’d do? Would she come see him? Their relationship right now isn’t exactly on. Never did stop him from deciding to keep an eye on her. However, Frank’s input isn’t something he needed or asked for. Is it? He made sure to let the officer know with a sharp look.
“That’s fine and dandy, Frank. Now make yourself useful. Guard the door.” Jackson dismissed him with that order. Stepping over to take a seat, he positioned the chair off to the side opposite of Alice Lee. Can’t imagine she wants him anywhere near so he opted for a better angle to jot down Landon’s story. “You know what I’m gonna ask. I need an official statement from you. An account of everything. Then I’ll leave you be. I know you’ve been through hell.”
Landon scoffed. “That’s one way to put it.” With Alice there the director visibly relaxed. Taking a breath cleansed his thoughts before he began. “I remember being at home. And just getting ready to meet Alice. She was coming to meet me anyway. I uh wanted to talk to her. Next thing I know everything goes black. Woke up in a cellar. Head throbbing. Definitely was attacked from behind or I would have seen this guy.” The accomplice of Marigold didn’t play a large role in the aftermath.
Filling Jackson in on his chaining and assumption of a ransom quickly turned into an insane plot. A girl with a fixation gone too far to be plausible in court; the detective wrote down the details on his notepad. Everything Wynter had to say is grim. The entrapment in the basement leading to his attempted escape sounds like a movie. A blockbuster the man himself might have directed. Pretending to be passed out didn’t lead him far. Only a chase leading to a worse injury; Jackson could tell the story was moving onto a climax. When he described exactly how Marigold Sinclaire broken his leg and ankle even he had to grimace. “So she put you in a wheelchair. Went to get antibiotics.” Except she didn’t go straight away, letting the man suffer. Good thing they got him here in time. No telling what would have happened with that leg with infection setting in. “We did recover the body of the man who took you from your home. Miss Sinclaire seems to have dispatched of him after his usefulness wore off. I commend you for your attempt to get away.”
“Didn’t work,” the director exhaled. “She’s insane. Utterly insane. Believing things that never happened.”
From what Jackson’s been hearing from the doctors where they have her now, she’s in her own delusion. “Well, your assessment isn’t far off. So I see you were right all along, Miss Lee. You were innocent.” @txnnesseehoney // prev
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Hiiii! Sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could write something? So what I was thinking that the reader is a theater performer and that Star and Paul see her perform one night ( I was thinking as Juliet or Ophelia from Hamlet) and they both find her interesting and then they get David and the others to come and they all fall for her? I just really loved your performer reader headcannon and would love to see more! It's totally ok if you cant or don't want to, just thought id ask 💓❤️
Hi! Thanks for the wait - I've been thinking about this one for a long (like long) time, and I finally found a way to write it in a way that would work for me and would still be somewhat close to the premise you requested. That being said, I hope you like this! 💜
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"From the start!"
The group of late teens and early tweens sighed audibly, before moving back into position. The lights on the stage dimmed, then relit, and Jonah began to say his first line of that scene. He was good, Mel thought, as she saw him get into it. He continued, walking down the stage, saying line after line, declaring his characters love for hers. She sighed somewhat longingly as she stared down from her balcony, responding to his monologue with one of her own.
"Very good, very good! Now, Mel, next time a little less love and a little more fear of being found out, got it? Nice work people - let's take a break!"
Mel sighed, relieved that this was it for now. For five hours they had rehearsed almost every scene in their version of Romeo and Juliet, and she was exhausted. Most of the details stayed the same, except now it was more comparable to West End Story and less to the original source material. She walked down the stairs leading from the stage to the beach, grabbing a bottle of water along the way.
"Killing, isn't it?" Rachel asked with a tired smile, a she went to sit beside Mel.
"Don't even start. I'd much rather rehearse inside, despite the heat, than out here on the boardwalk for everyone to see."
"And to think Jonah likes it!"
Both girls stared out at the water, enjoying their break. It was Troy his idea to rehearse on the boardwalk stage, and as director he obviously decided. All day groups of people had stopped to watch, some with interest and some with some rude comments. It didn't make it easier to play the scenes, but Troy hadn't want to do anything about it.
It was slowly getting darker, and the lights on stage were no longer for show but a real necessity. "People, we will do scenes twelve till fifteen one more time, then we're done for today, alright?"
"I'm telling you, one of them is really good," Star looked at Paul as they arrived at the boardwalk. Star stepped away from David's bike, waiting until the others had parked theirs as well.
"Come on, in a community play? I don't believe you. I was in community theater, and believe me when I say it is not always a compliment when they say you're the best!"
"You can't act for shit," Marko chuckled, bumping into Paul.
"Exactly!"
"Come on, I promise you she's good."
Paul sighed, giving in. "Fine."
"Oh my God, look at that cutie over there," Rachel poked Mel in her side, pointing at two people still watching the rehearsal. One was a girl, dressed in a swirly purple skirt and a white top. The boy next to her wore white pants and a tailcoat with some chains, giving Mel the opinion he walked straight of the set of some music video.
"What the hell are people so hot doing here looking at us?"
"More like looking at you. I think you've got some fans!"
Mel couldnt help but blush, shaking her head as she realised she had to be on stage within a few lines. She went on in time, glad to have finally remembered the lines for scene fifteen, and really glad that Troy called an end to the rehearsal. As Mel gathered her stuff, the couple that had watched her walked up towards her.
"Hi," the girl said, smiling brightly, "I just wanted to say you're really good."
"Eh, thanks?!" Mel smiled shyly. "Thanks for watching. Rehearsals tend to be quite boring."
"Can't imagine you being boring," the guy grinned. "I'm Paul and this is Star."
Mel introduced herself, putting her bag on her shoulders. "If you want, I can give you some tickets to the show next week?"
"Really? I would love that!" Star said enthusiastically, "Are you serious? I mean-"
"Yeah, everyone is allowed to give away two tickets, and since I've got no one else -" Mel stopped, "sorry, that was bit depressing, wasn't it? Anyways, please take the tickets, I would love to see some familiar faces in the crowd."
With that she said goodbye, going home only to return to rehearsals the next afternoon. Most days after that went pretty much the same. Rehearsals, break, a second part of rehearsals and then meeting up with Paul and Star. She had even met the rest of their siblings, who all seemed interested in the play as well and promised her they'd be there. It was nice, Mel realised as she was getting ready for opening night, that she had people that came for her especially. As Troy made his final speech to the cast, telling them to have a great night and to break their legs, he went on to stage to introduce the play to the audience. Soon after the opening music started, and the night began.
During the scenes Mel played she couldn't help but forget the audience. Nothing on stage was fake anymore, everything was real. Jonah wasn't Jonah, he was Romeo her star-crossed lover. She wasn't Mel anymore, she was Juliet, hoping to escape her family with the man of her dreams. She was the girl who succeeded in a dreadful scheme, while her lover forgot it was fake. She was the survivor of the love-filled tragedy, while Romeo died, leaving her alone for eternity. She declared her love for him, declared how she could never love someone like him, before hugging his corpse, crying over her lost love. And then the curtain fell. Suddenly she was no longer Juliet, but Mel once again. She stood, next to her costars taking her bows, smiling at the audience. She didn't listen to Troy, as he told everyone that for the next to weeks the show would be played every night at the Elm Street Theatre, and that the cast deserved another round of applause. Mel had searched in the crowd, finding Star and Paul, and a little bit further in the back their siblings. She smiled at them, taking one last bow before walking off stage.
"Great job everyone!" Troy grinned. "Now, take of your costumes, and help clear out the stage. Everyone knows what they have to do, right? Let's get to it, people!"
"Mel!" Star ran at her, hugging her tightly, kissing her cheek. "You were so great! The boys loved you as well! Do you want to come over, when you're done? We'll have dinner and all of us can get to know each other a bit better."
"That sounds awfully nice, but I can't make it to late... Tomorrow afternoon I have to be at the theatre at one."
Star smiled, not saying anything. Mel smiled back, before running back on stage to help pack the decor. She and Ivar moved the huge tower away from the stage, while Rachel and Jonah were busy gathering the props. As Mel walked back on stage, she froze. People called her name, she looked up, and couldn't move. Within seconds she laid on the stage, a heavy piece of decor fell on her legs. She cried out, gasping in pain - why did this have to happen, especially today?
"How is she?" Paul asked in the hospital, as he stood outside Mel's room. Star had sat beside her for hours, eventually being taken home by David. Dwayne had gone to feed, and Marko had decided to make sure that she could return to play her character whenever she was allowed to get out of the hospital.
"Still asleep. The anaesthesia should wear off soon. She has multiple fractures in her left leg, but it should heal nicely."
"Thanks." Paul went to sit next to her, his eye falling on a book in her bag. Hamlet, he read the title. Without thinking he opened it, flipping to the first page and he began to read.
"Who's there?" Paul began in a low voice, only to continue in a higher one as Francisco responded. He continued like that, reading the play, voicing the characters, reading page after page, until he heard a weak laugh coming from Mel's direction.
"You really wanted to make the night memorable, hm?"
"It worked, right?"
"How are you feeling? Have you been awake long?"
"My leg is numb, but I guess I'm okay. And for a while. You've got a nice voice to listen to."
"Don't tell the others, or they beg me to read for them as well."
"They were here?"
"We all were. We consider you our friend. Why would we not be here?"
She smiled sadly. "I normally have no one. This, it's just unusual for me."
"Some of your costars came with when you arrived, but they had to leave quite quickly."
Mel nodded, looking up as the door opened and Marko and Dwayne walked in.
"When you're allowed to leave, you're welcome to play Juliet again."
"I- Troy agreed to that?? Thank you!" she sat up, ignoring her injury, and gave him a tight hug.
"I- how can I thank all of you?"
"Hang out with us." Dwayne answered, causing her to smile.
"Absolutely."
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purpleyellow · 3 years ago
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Like a sticker
NCT 24th member / Dream 8th member
Bee’s Masterlist
“Bee goes to visit 127 on Studio Choom″
requested by: @smuchsmut
a/n: Feel free to share your thoughts with me💛
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Bee and her manager sneaked inside the big room where NCT 127 was currently recording their performance of Sticker for the Studio Choom channel. 
To be fair, she wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place, but after checking with some producers, they allowed her to pay a visit, as long as she doesn’t get spotted by any cameras.
There’s a table filled with water bottles on the side, so the girl heads there first to lay down some pastries she had brought along for the staff and members. As she’s turning away to look for someplace to sit, her eyes meet somebody else’s, who recognizes her despite her wearing a low bucket hair and a mask.
“YUN-HEE” Haechan shouts and runs to give her a hug, at the same time the director warns the members about her visit’s condition.
“What are you doing here?” Taeyong laughs, approaching them with Doyoung while the rest of the members disperse to record some behind the scene footage.
“I was in the building for a meeting and asked if I could come over” Bee answers after Doyoung is done hugging the air out of her.
“Don’t lie. We know you can’t go a day without seeing me” Hyuck makes her roll her eyes and gives her a side hug. They lead the group to the monitor, where the rest of the members are huddling around to watch the last clip they had recorded.
Greeting the remaining guys, Bee, once again, gets crushed, this time by Taeil’s and Yuta’s hugs, has her hat stolen by Jungwoo (who tried to put it on but got stopped by the stylist on his side) and got her hair ruffled by Johnny and Jaehyun.
She knows Mark’s the only one she hasn’t talked to yet. And ironically, he’s standing on the other edge of the group, so she can only send him a quick smile and wave before the group has to begin monitoring their performance. Something like disappointment washes over his face, the emotion only lasts for a second, but Bee can’t help but take notice of it.
The clip starts playing from the second verse, and though she had heard Sticker before, she had never seen what the performance for it looked like. Which led her to suppress a yelp when Mark suddenly showed up on the screen for his part.
Distracting herself from the body rolls, Bee focused on adjusting the hat back on her head, while mentally pep talking her that she’s a professional and those kinds of moves are completely normal. The girl is back on her game once his part is almost over, and she calmly watches the rest of it in silence, only mumbling a “Cool” during Yuta and Jungwoo’s part.
Quickly after that, the clip ends, and the boys hmm in satisfaction. Bee claps a couple of times before Yuta gives her a back hug and smirks at the others.
“Did you hear? She wowed when we showed up. We have the best part, don’t we?” Jungwoo approaches them and sings his verse while gesturing straight at her. Bee can only let out a panic giggle, and thank god most of her face is covered, so the others won’t see her getting flustered.
“You just like us way too much” Yuta teases her, and glances at Mark sitting stiffly while looking at their exchange. “You like us more than Mark, don’t you?”
His question, makes Bee’s throat go dry, and Mark’s eyes almost pop out of their socket. Before they can say anything, Jungwoo laughs, “I don’t know, Hyung. Bee might like us, but Mark can’t live without us near him”.
The girl almost sighs in relief, once she realizes the actual meaning of the older’s question, and looks at Jaehyun, Taeyong, and Haechan already back on the stage. Nodding to her manager, Bee turns to the boys still around her.
“I’ll get going now. It was only supposed to be a quick visit, so I don’t want to get in the way”.
“Already?” Mark chimes in as soon as she’s done talking, and the boys send him a concerned look. Lowering his tone, the boy shrugs and looks away when speaking, “I mean, you haven’t even seen the chorus yet. It would be a shame to miss that”.
“I mean, I can always see it later” She tries to argue, but the pleading look on his face makes her give up on it.
Checking back with her manager, Bee agrees to stick around for five more minutes before leaving once and for all. She goes to stand next to the staff when the boys go back into place to stretch, get ready to shoot the second chorus.
Now, one thing she knew from working with Mark, is that he gave his 100% to every single performance, so it’s no surprise he’s in his element once the song starts, and he’s in the center. But Bee gets surprised by his charisma being even more extravagant, and a small part of her relates it with the fact he was the one who made her stick around longer.
Her eyes follow him, even when he’s not center anymore, and in a split second, Mark looks to check if she’s still watching him. A confident grin breaks through his face when his eyes meet hers, and Bee is conflicted between rolling her eyes at his behavior or melting into a puddle right then and there.
Right as the music stops, her manager taps her arm, indicating for her, they should leave. Bee quickly waves to the members, not expecting them to actually see it, since the director was currently giving them instructions, and turns around to follow the way out.
205 notes · View notes
sevlgi · 3 years ago
Text
hit and run
requested: no
group: blackpink
pairing: rosé x fem!reader
genre: a  shit ton of angst, some fluff
contents: idol!rosé, actress!y/n, closeted!rosé, costar!au, slight enemies-to-lovers, unhappy endings because i’m a bitch, a lot of attempted cinematic parallels, italicized dialogue is when they’re speaking as their characters
warnings: slight homophobia
synopsis: There’s absolutely no reason for you to get involved with a costar who you should hate by all accounts. But of course, you manage to forget that love is usually more like a hit-and-run than a cruise ship. 
a/n: while i was writing this, i  imagined this as what happened before rosie sang “gone”, so maybe you can think of it like that too? i’m honestly so terrified of this flopping lmao... 
for a little background on the film: Y/N plays Luna, a pirate captain who unknowingly sacrificed her family in order to have the power to fight the regime that Rosé’s character Helen is a part of. Helen approaches Luna, determined to help her bring justice, but Helen is unable to choose between the benefits of staying with the regime, and following what she knows is right and destroying her life as a result.
word count: 6.8k
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The last thing you want to hear on the morning of your first script reading is that the actress playing your love interest in the film has changed.
“What?” you say loudly, straightening in the backseat. Your manager frowns, and you sit obediently, but the scowl doesn’t leave your face. “What do you mean the actress changed?”
“Yeah. She had to leave the movie at the last minute,” he sighs.
Sooyoung was chosen alongside you, after lengthy interviews testing whether the two of you would be able to handle your characters’ dynamic. It took weeks for the director to decide that you were the pair that she wanted, so the news that you’ll be meeting your costar for the first time in front of paparazzi is quite the shock to your system. “Shit. Then who’s the replacement?”
Your manager presses his lips together firmly before answering, “Park Chaeyoung. She’s an idol.”
You groan and slump down again. “Great. Another idol actress? Please don’t tell me that this is her first role too. Oh god, is she straight?”
“Yes to all of the above,” Chan says tensely.
Maybe you’re being dramatic, but it’s honestly a big deal. It’s the first leading role you’ve bagged, especially in a mainstream LGBTQ+ movie, and Sooyoung was the best costar you could’ve picked. You’ve never met Park Chaeyoung before, and you already know that all your plans are going to be messed up.
Chan pulls the car into the parking lot, and you scowl when you realize that most of the paparazzi have arrived. “We’re going around the back. Y/N, promise me one thing: don’t make a scene, okay?” your manager pleads. “I’m not happy about it either, but Chaeyoung has a good reputation. You’ll just ruin yours if you blow up at her.”
“I promise,” you answer through gritted teeth. You slip through the open side door as soon as you get out of the car, ignoring Chan’s call after you to have a good time like you would’ve.
To make matters worse, you don’t even get a chance to talk to the director or Chaeyoung before you’re swarmed by a crowd of reporters, even if that ‘talk’ would’ve consisted of more yelling than anything. “Y/N, Y/N!”
“Okay, let her up!” Seulgi shouts, pushing her way through. She grips your arm to lead you towards the cast table, whispering under her breath, “I’ll explain later. But just run with it, okay?”
You have plenty of problems with idol actresses, but you’ve never been inclined to say all those problems to their faces. Until now, that is.  Now, you’re sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with a girl you know has absolutely no credentials to be playing the other role in your upcoming movie, resisting the urge to ball your script up and throw it in her face.
There’s nothing wrong with Park Chaeyoung as a person-- she’s admittedly gorgeous, probably sweet, and you’re sure she isn’t a bad actress in any sense. The only thing wrong with the situation is that she’s painfully straight and auditioning to be your love interest in what might be Korea’s first mainstream lesbian film, and that you have never spoken to her before.
Chaeyoung avoids your stare with a clenched jaw, and in normal circumstances, you would already be apologizing profusely for making her uncomfortable. In this circumstance, though, your obvious grudge against her only contributes to the dynamic her character is supposed to have with yours.
“Miss Kang, is it true that the actors were only picked today?” 
The director grimaces, and the both of you turn to look at the cameras flashing by the sides of the room. It was never the plan to allow paparazzi to sit in on the first reading that you and Chaeyoung would be doing together, especially since it’s true that Chaeyoung was only chosen hours ago, after the original actress bailed. Even though your grudge should be against the girl who left, it’s easier to glare at the one sitting next to you. “Not exactly. Y/N has been confirmed for the role of Luna for months, but we recently added Chaeyoung as Helen. But we can assure that their chemistry will be wonderful,” Seulgi reassures the audience. What a lie.
Yet another reporter calls out, “How much of the script will we be seeing today, and when will the trailer be released?”
“Since the casting was changed today, the trailer has been delayed,” Seulgi says. You can hear the panic in her voice, and clear your throat. “As for the script… we’re only doing part of one scene that will show up in the trailer today, so we’ll just let them begin. Y/N?”
As you take a sip of water to prepare yourself, you almost hope that Chaeyoung messes up her part. It would be bad press, sure, and it would only contribute to Seulgi’s stress, but it would be satisfying for her to realize that she doesn’t deserve her part. She’s just an idol, after all, and she’s taking away representation from the people who need it.
“Are you saying you’re better than me?” you begin, your voice ice-cold.
You watch Chaeyoung’s throat bob, but her voice is steady and clear when she says her line. “No! I’m not saying that I’m better than you… but by all accounts, there���s no way you should have this power.”
“Would you be less scared then?” You pause, watch as Chaeyoung’s expression changes to the panic that her character’s would. “I’m kidding, Helen. I did things to get these powers, things that I’m not proud of.”
“Why would you do that? You’re strong… you don’t need them.”
“I’ve never been-- shit.” The tips of your ears start to burn, and suddenly, your lines are swimming before your eyes. Maybe all your hoping and wishing that Chaeyoung messes up has reflected onto you instead.
She attempts to remind you, “I haven’t always--”
“I know,” you hiss, but your voice is too loud in the silent room. Chaeyoung turns bright pink, too, but you still can’t seem to say your lines out loud. Shit, shit, shit--
“I’m just trying to help,” she sighs.
You whip your head to glare at her, and she winces at the daggers you send in her direction. “Shut the hell up--”
“Okay, the script reading will end here,” Seulgi announces loudly, and you bite down hard on your tongue. You don’t dare to look at the other cast members, don’t dare to think about how they must be guilting you for cutting their PR short. “Thank you everyone, please leave with security.”
You stay in your seat, staring at your script with burning eyes until you feel a hand on your shoulder and jolt. “Hey,” Chaeyoung reminds you, “we can leave.”
“Don’t touch me” is your only answer, and you storm out of the room. Alone.
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The next time you see Chaeyoung is the next day, at a script-reading that the paparazzi knows nothing about. (You do see a friend request from a Park Chaeyoung the night before, but you ignore it.)
Seulgi attempts a smile, but it doesn’t hide the bags under her eyes. She claps and raises her voice to get the cast’s attention. “Okay, everyone. We didn’t get what we wanted yesterday, but that’s fine. Um… let’s try yesterday’s scene from Chaeyoung’s part, okay? From ‘you don’t need them’.”
Chaeyoung nods. “You’re strong… you don’t need them,” she starts, worry tinging into her voice.
“I haven’t always been strong,” you reply, your voice harsher than it should be just to stop yourself from messing up again.
“Still. Powers aren’t everything, Luna, it’s too hard to have them.”
You sigh. “Newsflash, princess. It’s harder not to.”
“But--” Chaeyoung interjects.
“Did you ever think,” you cut her off, “that I didn’t care that it’d be hard? Did you ever think that the rest of us are tired of you abusing the thing that you’re given, but we have to fight for?”
You look right to Seulgi once you finish, ignoring the part underneath that says you should look to Chaeyoung at the end of the scene. The director smiles anyway. “That was great, you two. I think you capture the tension perfectly, which is a relief.”
You fight the urge to laugh. “I know that changing our main cast so close to the actual production is really difficult,” Seulgi sighs. “And I’m really sorry to inconvenience you all. The schedule is really squished now, and we just have to work through it. Chaeyoung, Y/N, all I ask is that you try to work together, okay? I know you’ll be amazing together.”
Chaeyoung speaks, possibly for the first time besides her lines. “Of course, Ms. Bae. I’ll do my best.”
“I’m sure. We have to cut this short, again, but we’re scheduled for costume fitting right now,” Seulgi groans. “We have to at least get the outfits for the trailer to fit. Sorry, everyone. Down the hall, okay?”
Of course, you and Chaeyoung have to get fit together. The only sound in the hallway is that of her heels clicking on the wood, and you resist the urge to shout at her to stop. Luckily, you arrive in the fitting room before you can.
Your eyes widen at the dress hanging there. It’s incredible, even without the layers that would support the skirt-- you can’t even imagine how the beading and pink silk would look on Chaeyoung. Ethereal, probably. “Y/N, yours is here,” the costume director laughs, beckoning you over.
Even though your own outfit isn’t nearly as opulent, you can’t help but admire the gold detailing on the cuffs and the tailoring. “Thank god yours doesn’t take so much sewing,” the director grunts, pinning the side. “You know, the two of you are going to look fantastic in these, even if we have to spill all that blood on them to shoot the trailer.”
“Sooyoung would’ve looked better.” It’s mean, and it’s a low blow, but the director doesn’t take your bait.
She pokes her head out to where Chaeyoung’s being fitted. “Now? Okay, Y/N, go out there. We need to take a look at the two of you together.”
You can’t stop your jaw from dropping when you see Chaeyoung. She’s all candyfloss hair and gold adorning her tiny waist, and in all her glory, you can’t stop yourself from thinking that maybe she was made for the role. “You look really good,” she compliments softly.
Nodding stiffly, you turn for the seamstresses. Chaeyoung moves to fiddle with her gloves when she realizes that you have absolutely no interest in continuing the conversation.
Well, if there’s one thing you can nitpick about her, it isn’t how she looks; she looks absolutely perfect for the role of Princess Helen, maybe even more perfect than Sooyoung. 
One of the costume directors steps in. “Okay, you can get changed out, but you have to come back in a few hours,” she tells you. “We have to make a lot of changes, then fit you again.”
You step down from the podium, going towards your dressing room without a second thought until Chaeyoung calls for you. “Y/N? Do you want to have lunch later? In your trailer or something?”
“Sure,” you answer, barely glancing back. When you do, all you see is her with shiny puppy eyes, and in her giant gown, it’s eerily similar to the role she’s supposed to be playing.
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“It’s nice. You’ve decorated it?”
You nod absentmindedly, clearing the narrow couch off for yourself to sit on, since Chaeyoung has taken the only chair that could fit in the trailer. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve had it for a few months, so.”
She winces. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” you frown. Chaeyoung apologizes too much, but at least she’s upfront about whatever she has to say.
Your costar sighs, “For usurping the role? You must’ve gotten attached to Sooyoung, and it’s got to be horrible for me to just… arrive like this.”
“You know… that’s part of it.” You can’t lie; a big part of the resentment you hold against Chaeyoung is the fact that she took a role meant for someone else, someone you were friends with. “The other thing… I don’t like idol actresses,” you tell her.
Chaeyoung’s brows furrow, and she leans forward. “Why? I mean, why don’t you?”
You pause to think about it. “Well… I mean, think about it like this. Sooyoung and my auditions went for weeks before we were chosen, as a pair. Didn’t you get this role because you were an idol? You had to audition, sure, but I bet you just flashed a few smiles and read the script and got chosen. How is that fair?”
She opens her mouth to speak, but you hold your hand up and continue, “And the other thing. You’re straight.”
Chaeyoung chokes on air at that, spluttering, “What? You hate me because I’m straight?”
“No,” you say incredulously, “Well, I don’t hate you. But you being straight, and landing the lead role in a film like this… you’re taking away representation. And that’s kind of shitty of you.”
The air inside the trailer becomes suffocating, and Chaeyoung’s fiddling with the jacket in her lap finally stops when she throws it aside and stands up. She sounds like she’s about to cry when she says quietly, “Have you ever considered that I’m not straight? It’s not… it’s not that easy to be out about it--”
“Oh, cry me a river,” you groan. “Look, I apologize for assuming, but if you want to act in lesbian roles, you can’t pretend to be straight. It’s all for your fans, isn’t it? Another part of being an idol--”
She stands up, then storms right out of the trailer without another word, the door banging closed. The only thing you can do in response is sigh and utter a quiet, “Shit”.
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Perhaps it’s just your luck that the first proper scene you have to film with Chaeyoung is your culminating kiss scene.
It shouldn’t be in the trailer at all-- according to the scene schedule, the two of you would’ve filmed your scenes together in chronological order, and the kiss would’ve been at the end, hopefully after a reconciliation between the two of you. However, for some inexplicable reason, it’s going to be the first one you do, without a single second of rehearsal.
You’re a one-take wonder, and you always have been, but you can’t help but think about how impossible it’s going to be to pull off such an intense scene with someone you just fought with. Sighing, you lean over to fiddle with your hair; it’s slightly tangled now, and there’s a fake scrape on the side of your cheek. 
At a side, Chaeyoung is similarly beat up, fake blood smeared on the left side of her face. Her long hair has been put in an updo and then taken down, and parts of her dress are ripped; to you, she looks more like Helen than herself now.
“Okay, everyone, are we ready? Positions, please!”
You arrange yourself on the ground where you should be, holding a handkerchief to your cheek like instructed as Chaeyoung stands by the camera to run to you. Exhaling sharply, your eyes meet hers for the first time in days. “Action!”
Chaeyoung sprints to you as soon as she’s cued, falling in front of you in a heap. “Luna,” she gasps, reaching a gloved hand out to the ‘injured’ half of your face.
“I’m fine,” you smile weakly. The camera hovers by Chaeyoung’s shoulder, and you soften your gaze as much as possible as your hand comes up to hers.
The other girl only moves closer, her eyes scanning yours and her dress surrounding the both of you like a sea of gauze. Her nose is almost brushing up against yours, and you mutter softly, “Be careful. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want.”
“Well, what do you want?” Chaeyoung implores, almost inaudible. Her breath quivers, and you feel it when you reach forward to cup her jaw. “Luna, what do you want right now?”
“I’m not making a move until you tell me to,” you shake your head. 
The blonde’s hands slip off your face, and she braces herself on your thighs instead. She laughs breathily, “Coward.”
“Your coward, huh?”
Chaeyoung pauses, scraping her teeth across her bottom lip. It’s so quiet that you think you could hear a pin drop, and the torches held up by the crew flicker across her face so naturally. “If you want to be.”
There’s probably another line that comes after, but with Chaeyoung so close to you, it swims blurrily in your mind. So instead, you just lean up, pull her down, and connect your lips.
She plays along, thankfully, stumbling slightly in her character’s eagerness to get a little closer. The only thing you can hear is Chaeyoung’s slight gasp when you let your hands wander down to her waist, and it’s almost scary how absorbed you are in the scene.
“Okay, cut!” Seulgi’s shout breaks you from your trance, and you hold your hands up as if in surrounder. Chaeyoung’s cheeks are red yet again when she sits up, staring anywhere other than you.
Your director hops off her chair to run towards you, a huge grin on her face. “That was perfect,” she shouts. “Y/N, I think you forgot a line? But it worked out amazingly. The one-take wonder, right?”
You grin when she pats you on the shoulder, a little harder than necessary. Apparently, all your worries were for nothing, as you and Chaeyoung stand to monitor your own shot in the screen next to Joohyun.
You can’t even hear all the praise she showers on the two of you, and you pay no attention to all the details she points out that apparently showcase your perfect chemistry with your costar. All you feel is a slight squeeze on your hand, hidden in the mess of fabric by your side.
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You jolt awake at the sound of your phone ringing loudly by your side, finding an unknown number as the caller ID. Accepting hesitantly, you greet, “Hello?”
“Y/N? Did Chan give me the right number?”
Oh. It’s Chaeyoung. “Yeah.” You clear your throat in an attempt to sound a little less drowsy, then repeat, “Right number. Why’d you ask Chan?”
“Well, it’s kinda hard to find you when you never accepted my request,” she laughs quietly. “Um, I have to record the OST today, and I was wondering whether you’d want to come watch? Chan said you didn’t really have any scenes later today.”
“Um. Okay. I’ll ask Chan to bring me,” you answer, then hang up. Your head swims slightly, partially due to the fact that you woke up to the piercing sound of your ringtone and partially because you just don’t understand why Chaeyoung’s reaching out again. You should be the one apologizing, after the tangent you went off on, and you highly doubt that your kiss scene doubled as an apology. Of course, you’ll take it.
Your manager is more than pleased to pick you up this time, but thankfully, he doesn’t question you. If he did, he’d probably be the one you shouted at.
The studio is honestly too small for two people, probably hastily set up, but you recognize the recording equipment from a video of Chaeyoung recording one of her group’s songs. And you recognize the girl already standing in the recording booth, waving you over. “Hi,” she smiles, and for all you try, you don’t see a hint of malice.
“Hey,” you mumble, taking a seat. “Uh… I’m sorry.”
“Wow, straightforward,” she tries to joke. “What for?”
You scratch the back of your neck, sighing, “For assuming, for blowing up on you, for… I don’t know, kind of everything. I’m an asshole, even if what I said wasn’t wrong.”
Chaeyoung chuckles, fiddling with the mic. “I mean, I appreciate the apology, but I wasn’t great either. You definitely had some truth behind what you said, even if it was kind of too to the point.”
“I know. You were just trying to apologize and help us become civil, and I kind of ruined it,” you hum. The other girl adjusts the lyric stand as you continue, “But I’m hoping you understand why I had to say what I did?”
“I do,” she agrees. “You’re definitely right that it’s not good representation at all, I just wish you had heard me out.”
You nod uncomfortably, changing the way you sit on the couch just to distract yourself. “So… you’re gay? I’m just asking because I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about it, and I’ve seen plenty of your interviews.”
“So you watch my interviews?” Chaeyoung teases. When you scowl, she just smiles, “I can’t say specifically, but I am confused. You said last time that it’s just another part of being an idol, and you’re… you’re right. It’s taboo for idols to be gay, even though Korea’s opening up to it a bit more now. So even though I want to, I don’t think I can ever be out about it.”
“I understand. And I’m sorry,” you say quietly.
She swallows, throat bobbing. “Thank you. Hey, Y/N… would you mind singing with me?”
“What?” You stare up at her incredulously; it’s not like your singing would make the other girl faint on the spot, but you definitely don’t possess an angelic voice like hers, either.
But maybe it’s an olive branch. “Just… can you match this note?” She hums, and you attempt to create the same pitch. “Okay. Can you do the chorus part in that key, while I do it in the main one? We’ll sound better like that,” Chaeyoung offers.
Against your better judgement, you stand, and shuffle into the recording booth next to her. “If this sounds bad, you’re taking the blame,”  you warn, and she giggles while twisting the stand so you can see.
You do sound good together, maybe to a level that you would’ve never anticipated.
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You know that something’s off when Chan doesn’t wake you up bright and early on your birthday, even if Seulgi already promised that you wouldn’t have to go to work on the day of. After spending many a birthday with him, you’ve already gotten used to him tugging you up just to take you outside and celebrate somehow.
You know something’s especially off when you hear a female voice cursing from your kitchen, and smell something burning.
“Who the shit-- Chaeyoung?”
The girl turns in surprise, caught red-handed with a piece of burnt toast pinched between her fingers. “Um. Hi?” she offers weakly.
Suddenly self-conscious, you cross your arms over the faded sweatshirt you wear. In your own apartment, Chaeyoung is leagues more put-together in the summery dress she wears, her dyed hair tossed in a braid and glitter shining at the corners of her eyes. “Hello?”
“Chan said you wouldn’t be awake for a few hours,” she sighs, shaking her head as she tosses the toast in the trash. “And I wasn’t supposed to burn the toast.”
“What were you supposed to do?” you question, stepping closer. There’s a cake box on the counter, as well as a couple suspicious tubes of icing right by it, and you think you know what’s going on.
Chaeyoung huffs out an exasperated breath. “I was supposed to surprise you. Chan has something going on at home, so he sent me to supervise your birthday instead. Obviously, I messed that up.”
“It’s fine,” you shrug, taking a seat at the counter and reaching for the icing. “I’ve always wanted to decorate a cake anyway.”
She looks surprised at that, but a smile breaks out across her face. “Really?”
“Really,” you confirm. It’s partially a lie, but you’re decently sure that Chaeyoung will refuse to let you do most of the work anyways. “Uh. I’ll just change first, and then we can get that going?”
“Yeah,” she grins, and you take it as your cue to scurry off to the bedroom.
By the time you come back, there’s a plate of not-burnt toast on your counter, and Chaeyoung’s pouring out two glasses of the juice that you can never bring yourself to buy because of the price tag. “I hope you like it, this is one of my favorites.”
“Like it? I love this,” you gasp, surging forward to pick up one of the glasses. “It’s expensive as hell, though.”
“Well, I couldn’t get you a gift, so I thought a nice morning would suffice,” Chaeyoung laughs. She unties the bow on the cake box to reveal a completely bare vanilla cake, a few packets of sprinkles that you hadn’t noticed now lying next to it. “Do you want to start?”
“Oh, sure.” You choose the blue icing after a bit of debating, and pick up the spatula that your costar offers you. “You didn’t have to, though, I would’ve been okay on my own today.”
Chaeyoung shrugs, “I mean, I didn’t have anything else to do, and I wouldn’t like to be alone on my birthday.”
“How do you usually celebrate?” you question, glancing up at her.
She pauses to think, then answers, “Well, I do live with my members, so we’ll get something to eat. Sometimes, we’re on vacation, so we just do what we can, but I like staying in the dorm to receive the things that their families send me.”
“It sounds sweet.”
“It is,” she grins. “I honestly don’t know what I would do on my own, it seems lonely-- Oh. I’m sorry.”
“What for? It is kind of lonely,” you admit, squeezing a glob of icing out. It’s definitely not as graceful as you would’ve appreciated, and you catch Chaeyoung stifling a laugh. “Chan lived with me at the beginning, but he eventually moved out when I got a girlfriend. Obviously, that didn’t laugh.”
“Sorry,” the other girl repeats again, and you wave a hand out. “When was that?”
“She moved out two years ago,” you answer. “And I’ve been alone since. Or, lonely, not always alone.”
Chaeyoung nods just so that you know she heard you. She accepts the icing tube when you hand it to her, making a spiral that’s infuriatingly better than yours. “How about you? I know you said you aren’t out, but have you dated yet?” you question.
She shakes her head, admitting, “Not yet. I don’t really know how to, you know? You assumed I was straight when you first saw me, so I think everyone else does too.”
“Sorry,” you say, an echo of her.
Your costar doesn’t respond, only setting the spatula down once the basic blue icing is smooth. “I think we’re supposed to refrigerate this before decorating, right?”
You grimace. “Well, I don’t know. I stopped watching cake videos years ago, so I’ll just listen to you.”
Chaeyoung hums and ties the box back up. “Okay, then I’ll just do it. Um, do you mind ordering chicken or something while we wait?”
“Sure.” Reaching for your phone, you ask, “Would you be opposed to romcoms?”
“I’m never opposed to romcoms,” the other girl answers.
You have to remind yourself to order two servings of chicken, something that you haven’t done in a while. But it’s comforting, in a way, to not be alone again.
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“Can you believe we’ve only got a week left of filming? I feel like I haven’t seen you at all.”
You wince guiltily, even though you know that Yerim doesn’t mean it. Acting with your friend was originally a huge incentive for you to accept the film’s role, but the two of you quickly discovered that you had almost no scenes together, and with your push-and-pull with Chaeyoung, you forgot all about it. “Sorry, Yerim.”
She makes an incredulous expression, swatting your arm. “Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I’m happy you’re pursuing love and all that, and besides, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to act together.”
Blinking, you set your cup down on the counter. “Pursuing love?”
Yerim raises her eyebrow and says, “Yeah. Aren’t you and Chaeyoung together yet? We’ve been filming for two months, I’ll be shocked if you still haven't kissed and made up.”
“Uh. Well, we’ve kissed, but I don’t think it counted,” you frown. 
Your friend sighs and rolls her eyes. She’s all too used to how dense you are, and apparently, she’s finally gotten tired of it. “You’re an idiot. You literally met the morning of your first script reading, and you knew each other for… what, a week before you had your kiss scene? There’s got to be something there.”
“No.”
Right on cue, a few of the other cast members arrive, Chaeyoung sandwiched between them. “Have you seen the articles?” Nayeon grins, waving her phone around in the air. She’s drunk, obviously, but you have to indulge her.
“Which articles?”
She shoves the screen in your face as an answer, and you cringe when you find a screencap of you and Chaeyoung. “You won’t believe the chemistry-- nope, I’m not reading that.” You hand the phone back to Nayeon, then press it in her hand when she doesn’t take it. Yerim sends you a knowing expression, one that you definitely don’t like.
“Aw, come on! It’s good press,” Nayeon whines. “And a great kiss scene.”
“Don’t be weird,” Chaeyoung warns. She doesn’t seem to be drunk at all, though she does look fantastic in the silver dress that she wears. Your eyes linger on her for an embarrassing amount of time.
Nayeon pouts. She’s bubbly-- you’ve learned that much through acting alongside her in a total of three productions so far. You note that your costar doesn’t seem to be so accustomed to her temperament yet. “You’re no fun, Chaeng. We all know you enjoyed it.”
She goes bright pink at that amidst Yerim’s joking coos. “The token straight, converted?” your friend gasps, and you elbow her to stop her from going too far.
Apparently, it already has. “I didn’t!” Chaeyoung defends herself.
“Prove it,” Nayeon demands, slipping when she attempts to lean on the counter next to you.
Chaeyoung goes silent at that, apparently unable to find a way to ‘prove it’. You finally sigh, “Okay, I think that’s enough teas--”
If it wasn’t for the fact that you’ve long since memorized your entire script book, you would almost think that Chaeyoung reaching forward to tug on the front of your shirt is a scene between your two characters. After all, it’s perfectly in character for your eyes to widen comically as the other girl kisses you right on the lips. 
It’s also in character for Nayeon to start whooping next to you when your hands wrap around Chaeyoung’s waist to pull her in closer. You part at the noise. “You certainly look like you liked it,” Nayeon grins. 
“Yeah, get a room,” Yerim follows, and you shove her.
“You know what? Maybe we will.” Ignoring your friends’ jeering, you grab Chaeyoung’s wrist and lead her down the hallway, though not to a bedroom like you joked you would. “Hey. You okay? I didn’t know if that teasing crossed a line,” you whisper worriedly.
She bites down on her lip, but instead of answering you, Chaeyoung tilts your face up and leans closer, only stopped by your hand on her wrist. “Chae…”
“I’m sorry, this… this isn’t what you want, is it?” She steps back, mouth already opening to apologize, but you stop her from leaving you alone in the hallway.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” With the flashing neon lights echoing in her eyes, you can’t tell what Chaeyoung’s feeling, and you can’t tell if she’s willing to answer you properly at all. “I’m not making a move until you tell me to.”
Still, you don’t hear her say a word, until your grip starts to loosen on her wrist. “Did you drive here yourself?” she finally asks, barely audible. You nod hesitantly, and Chaeyoung’s voice grows firmer when she says, “I’m telling you to make a move.”
“I thought you were questioning?”
She swallows hard and takes your hand. “Not anymore.”
You don’t taste any alcohol when you lick your lower lip, and so, you nod. It’s stupid, especially considering how quickly your time together is about to end.
But for once, you know what you want.
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“Good luck out there, Chae,” you smile, arms wrapped around the girl’s waist. 
“Thanks,” she hums, adjusting her hair yet again in the mirror. “We’re almost done filming, I have to promote us well so that we have enough money to at least put the damn film out.”
“Mm.” Your thumb smooths over the sliver of skin exposed by her top, and you place your chin on her shoulder to look at the two of you together.
She glances down at you. “What? Are you thinking about something?”
“Sort of,” you shrug. “I just can’t believe we’re almost done, but we… we just started this. You know, this thing between us.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely a thing. But it doesn’t have to stop with filming,” Chaeyoung says offhandedly.
Raising an eyebrow, you question, “Doesn’t it? It’s going to be suspicious for us to constantly be seen together after filming together, I’ve seen the way your fans behave. Especially while you’re not out.”
“I think I can negotiate that with my company,” the other girl shakes her head.
You joke, “What, you release another two albums if you get to come out about having a girlfriend?”
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Chaeyoung responds immediately. Her ears pink endearingly, and you wait for her to clarify, “In secret for now, obviously. But… one day, I’ll be out about it. I promise.”
“Don’t make empty promises, okay?” You press a kiss to her bare shoulder and let her go when you hear a knock at the dressing room door. “Do good!”
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“Alright, Chaeyoung, it’s about time that we ask you some questions about your upcoming film, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, absolutely,” your costar smiles, and you raise your head from your phone to watch the screen. She’s sitting cross-legged across from some of the most famous idol interviewers in Korea, absolutely poised and natural even in front of the crowd that cheers over the interview.
The woman behind the podium clears her throat. “A huge talking point in Korea right now is your chemistry with your costar, Y/N. How exactly do you pull that off, since you’ve never experienced a relation like that?”
Chaeyoung laughs nervously, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Oh. Well, um, I don’t have much experience with relationships at all, so--”
“Really? A pretty girl like you must have had a boyfriend or two before.” You despise the way that the interviewer leans in conspiratorially, as if the prying questions weren’t completely scripted. “But you seem a little to pretty to have experienced that, am I right?”
The crowd laughs with her, but Chaeyoung glances behind the scenes, probably to where her own staff sits. “You know, you can tell me if you ever felt… uncomfortable during filming,” the interviewer continues on. “Y/N has been out for years, hasn’t she?”
“Oh, she has…” You’re practically fuming, but you also can’t seem to pry your eyes away from the screen. All of Chaeyoung’s practiced idol-charm has seemed to dissipate into thin air, and she’s practically blending into the wall as she sits there.
The Chaeyoung you know-- no, the Chaeyoung that you’ve come to know, wouldn’t stand to hear something like that. You’ve watched her argue with a scriptwriter, and you’ve watched him get fired because he said something incredibly offensive, even though it wasn’t about you. But here, she sits still and just listens to the interviewer discuss you behind your back, and she says nothing about all the disgustingly backhanded comments.
The thing is, you don’t care about Chaeyoung not being out. You were closeted for enough time yourself, and you know how hard it is, so you’d never wish it on her; but watching her completely let go of all her personal principles just for a stupid interview is just another reminder that you’re letting go of your own. Chaeyoung won’t ever speak up, you realize, because her career comes before anything else. And you can’t stand for that.
“I’m leaving,” you tell the guard standing outside of your door. Only increasing your anger, tears start to burn in your eyes, and you scrape your sleeve across your face as roughly as you can. Chan picks up on one dial, and you say furiously, “Pick me up. It’s over.” In more ways than one.
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Chaeyoung shivers at the top of the hill, where she’s supposed to be filming her closing scene with you. She hasn’t seen you for the past week, and after how disastrous her interview was, she’s pretty sure she knows why.
“Where’s Y/N?” she finally asks her makeup artist, giving in to her own curiosity.
Felix shrugs, reaching to mess with the blood on her hairline. “I have no idea, honestly, I haven’t seen her yet. She’s never late, though, you don’t have to worry. You’ll get your scene done.”
“That’s…” Chaeyoung sighs. That’s why she should be worried. “Right.”
“Okay, can we start?” Seulgi shouts. It’s started to rain, but with the excited look on the director’s face, Chaeyoung figures that it suits the scene even better than the gray clouds that had been planned. “Great. Chaeyoung, Y/N!”
Your hair is plastered to your forehead with the rain, and water makes your blouse cling to your curves; with the grim expression on your face, Chaeyoung could easily just mistake you for your character. “Hi,” you mutter, taking a seat on the grass right next to your costar. You say nothing else.
When cued, Chaeyoung takes a deep breath before her line. “Luna. I love you.”
For a second, Chaeyoung thinks you won’t respond, but the rasp to your voice proves her wrong. “No. No, you don’t.”
“I think I’m the one who should be deciding that, don’t you?” The blonde raises her eyebrows, reaching forward hesitantly for your shoulder.
Of course, you dodge it. Blinking the rain out of your eyes, you’re resigned when you ask, “You have your birthday gala tonight, don’t you?”
“Yes, but--” Chaeyoung swallows, lets her hand make contact, then continues, “I’m spending as much time as I can with you, aren’t I with you right now?”
“But you’re going.” It feels like you’re staring right into Chaeyoung’s soul when you speak, as despondent as your voice is. She nods, and you stand, her hand slipping off of your shoulder and into her lap. “Then go. You’re still a princess at the end of the day, aren’t you?”
“At the end of the day, yes…”
“You can’t do that. You sneak out onto my ships, get my people to love you and protect you, and then turn right back to your family to stay safe while we die for you. You can’t say you support our cause and then go back on it when it’s inconvenient for you, it doesn’t work like that!” Chaeyoung flinches at how intense you sound; at this point, she barely knows if it’s still acting. She can only hear her own heart in her ears, can only see your chest heaving from how quickly you spoke, and it all feels too real.
“What, do you want me to get found out?” Chaeyoung demands, getting to her feet as well. The rain becomes harsher, angled so that it perfectly blurs her vision of you. “I’ve saved your ass just as many times too, don’t pretend like I’m not a valuable part of your ship!”
“You’re still pretending.” Realizing that it’s not the right line, Chaeyoung opens her mouth to stop you, but your voice chills her into silence when you speak again. “You’ll always pretend, as long as it benefits you, won’t you? You can’t do that, Helen, not if you ‘love me’. Putting a crown on your head doesn’t mean that you’re a princess. Until you realize that, and until you’re willing to embrace it, you don’t love me. and I don’t love you.”
None of it is the script. None of it is the scene that you rehearsed a thousand times together in your trailer, but somehow, it makes Chaeyoung’s heart quaver in her throat so much more than the original lines ever did.
And when you drop your gaze to the ground, turning to walk off into the rain alone, she knows that to you, your entire relationship is already done.
475 notes · View notes
flosbelova · 3 years ago
Text
Mine
Florence Pugh x Actress!Reader
summary: You’re a lead actress in a movie and one of your male co-stars keeps on flirting with you. You tell your girlfriend, Florence, about it and she insists on showing him who you belong to.
warnings: implied sexual themes (?)
word count: 1.6k+
After auditioning for countless roles, you were finally called back by one and was offered the lead role. You and Florence screamed at the top of your lungs and celebrated after hearing the news from your agent. 
It’s your first day of rehearsals and you’re finally getting to meet your co-stars. Your co-star, Ryan, was given the male lead. He’s a tall guy and pretty muscular. His jawline was sharp and had a pointed chin. His smile was one of the nicest smiles you’ve ever seen. However, all of his nice physical features went away as he came up to you.
“Hey, I’m Ryan, you must be Y/n. I’ll be playing one of your love interests,” he says, his arm rubbing against yours.
Your body instinctively moved away from him. You forced a smile. 
“Hi, nice to meet you,” you managed to say.
“Um, so after rehearsals,” he says, putting an arm around your shoulder, “do you wanna grab a drink?” he smiles.
You take a deep breath. “No thank you, I have a girlfriend,” you say as you take his arm off your shoulders. 
“Well, what she doesn’t know won’t kill her,” he says, trying to touch you again.
You caught his hand. “Dude, I already told you ‘no.’”
“Is everything alright here?” One of your female co-stars asked.
You dropped Ryan’s hand and smiled. “Yes, everything’s fine.”
“Um, alright. The director wanted us to start rehearsals.”
“Alright, let me walk with you,” you say walking after her. As you catch up to her, you whisper a quick “thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she whispers back.
-
Finally after a long day of rehearsals, you’re back home. 
“Y/N!” Florence exclaims, “you’re back! I made pizza!”
The sound of excitement coming from your girlfriend should have been enough to calm you down, but this time it wasn’t. You were so uncomfortable from your day that you had no energy left for your favorite girl.
Sitting on your couch, staring at the blank TV, your girlfriend nudges you. You didn’t bother to look at her. You wanted to be alone.
Florence takes a deep breath. “Okay, I guess we’re having dinner in the living room,” she says to herself as she places the tray of pizza on the coffee table. She grabs you a slice of pizza and hands it to you.
“I’m not hungry,” you say, pushing away the plate.
Florence takes another deep breath. “Alright, do you want anything to drink?”
“No. I don’t want anything,” your voice rose. “Please leave me alone!”
Florence flinched as you yelled at her. Her eyebrows furrowed and her frown was visible.
“Y/n, please, calm down. Talk to me,” she says in a calming tone.
“I just told you I don’t want to talk!” You utter loudly. Out of annoyance, you get up and go into your shared bedroom, slamming the door behind you.
Florence cleaned up the living room and put the pizza inside the refrigerator. She wiped her hands on her apron and took it off. She sniffled and wiped the tears that she didn’t even realize was there. She went towards the bedroom door and hesitated on opening it. Instead, she knocked.
“Y/n, I’m going in. This is my room too,” she says, opening the door.
You take a deep breath. You were laying on your side, facing away from her. You felt the bed dip behind you as your girlfriend crawled onto bed. Florence wrapped arms around you.
“I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me what’s going on.”
You sigh and sit up on the bed. “Fine.”
You proceed to tell Florence about your unfortunate, eventful day on set. You told her about Ryan and how he kept coming up to you, flirting with you, and finding reasons to touch you. And you mentioned the fact that he even tried asking you out.
Of course, Florence was heated. Her frown was visible, her eyebrows furrowed, and her ears were red. She shared your anger. And she felt threatened. How Ryan dares to take her girlfriend from her. Florence came up with a solution.
“I’m coming with you to set tomorrow,” she says, taking a deep breath.
“What? No. It would make things worse,” you protest.
“It won’t. I promise you. I need to have a chat with him,” she says sternly.
Florence is the type of person who will stand her ground and stand up for the people she loves. She also hates it when people try to take her favorite person away from her.
“I don’t want him trying to take you away from me,” Florence confesses.
“Honey, I promise you, no one can ever take me away from you,” you reassure her. 
You lean in and press a soft kiss against her lips. She kisses back, this time with more passion. She slips her tongue inside your mouth and explores, tasting every bit of you. You pull away to catch your breath and Florence straddles your lap. Holding your face in her hands, she looks at you, admiring you and thinks about how lucky she is to have you.
“What?” you ask as you look into her green eyes.
“Nothing, I’m just admiring my beautiful girlfriend,” her smile growing bigger, “and how lucky I am to have her.” She plants a soft kiss on your lips and rests her forehead against yours.
“I should be the one saying that,” you respond. “I’m very lucky to have you, Flo.”
“Well, let me show you how lucky you are to have me,” Florence says as she lays you on your back.
-
The next day came quickly. Florence came with you to set as she said she would. She held your hand as you walked towards craft service. And to your luck, Ryan was there. When Ryan saw you, he smiled, but it quickly disappeared as he saw Florence kissing you on your cheek. 
As you and Florence sit in your chairs, ready to eat, Ryan comes up to the both of you.
“Hi, Y/n!” He greets you with a big smile. “Hi, I’m Ryan, I’m a BIG fan!” He exclaims to Florence.
You look at Florence and she forces a smile and greets him. “Hi Ryan, Y/n here has told me a lot about you,” she says, her smile slowly disappearing.
Ryan chuckles nervously, “All good, I hope.”
Florence fakes a laugh. “Um, if you don’t mind, Y/n and I are trying to eat our meal before her day begins.”
“Oh, yeah, of course. I understand. It was so nice meeting you, and Y/n, I’ll see you on set.”
As Ryan walks away, Florence turns to look at you. “Wow, that’s a disappointment.”
You nod in agreement.
“Alright, my love. I’ll be here. Break a leg!” Florence says to you as the director calls you to your spot. You give Florence a quick kiss, and run to your place.
Shooting went on smoothly. To your surprise, Ryan seemed to have backed off. It was a nice feeling and you were able to get through your day without having to worry if Ryan was gonna come up to you and flirt with you in between scenes.
The day came to an end very quickly as the director wrapped filming for the day. Florence was nowhere to be found, so you checked your phone. 
I had to go to the restroom. I’ll be out in a sec.
“Y/n!” Ryan calls out, “Can I talk to you?”
You sigh and think to yourself, “my day was going so well.”
“Hey, uh, I didn’t know that Florence Pugh was your girlfriend,” he says.
“Yes, is there a problem with that?” you tilt your head.
“No, I just didn’t realize she would date someone as boring as you,” he laughs.
“What the fuck did you just say?” Florence says from behind him, making him turn.
“I said, I can’t believe that you would date someone as boring as Y/n,” He repeats. “Why don’t you break up with her? I could show you a good time.” 
Florence looked like she was about to punch him. She would if she could, but it would only make things so much worse.
“I don’t think your penis will be enough to satisfy me,” she begins, “besides, Y/n already showed me a 'good time,’” she says, grabbing your hand.
“Oh yeah?” he scoffs. “When?”
Florence smiles and looks at you, then looks back at Ryan. “Last night,” Florence looks back at you and licks her lips. She leans in to kiss you and turns your body around so that it faces hers. As Florence kisses you, she opens her eyes and looks straight into Ryan’s eyes. As you both pull away, Florence looks at you and back at Ryan.
You turn around and see Ryan bright red.
Florence lets go of you and walks towards Ryan. “Now, I better not hear another complaint from Y/n about you ever again or else I’m getting you fired.”
Ryan looks defeated and nods. “I’m sorry Y/n,” he says.
You flip him off as you and Florence walk away.
“Thank God I don’t end up with his character,” you say, earning a chuckle from Florence.
As you get to your car, you reach to open the door for Florence but she stops you. Instead she pins you under her. You wrap your arms around her waist as she wraps her arms around your neck. 
“You’re mine and mine only,” she says.
“I’m forever yours, Flo,” you respond.
You kiss her softly. She kisses back and runs her fingers through your hair. Florence deepens her kiss as if she’s hungry for more of you. Your bottom lip is caught in between her teeth and you slip a soft moan. This causes Florence to pull away. Catching your breaths, she looks at you with a smirk on her face.
“Let’s go home. I wanna show you a good time.”
The End
346 notes · View notes
jesslockwood · 3 years ago
Text
SOUR | T. Holland
Word Count: 1.7k
Pairing(s): Tom Holland x Actress!Reader
Warnings: angsty af, swearing
Summary: y/n and tom broke up, and when tom comes around with his new girl 2 weeks later, y/n is sour. 
A/n: I was hesitant to post this due to everything going on with tom lmao but yk, fuck it lol. anyways lmk if you want a part two cause I this was pretty short and I have ideas! also I didn’t edit this much lol so sorry for the mistakes!
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His brown guilty eyes were enough to know that he moved on, in two weeks to be exact, after you broke it off. He was spotted recently with a girl he said he was just friends with, what a damn lie. 
You try to not let the tears out as you see them making their way on the red carpet of the movie premiere. He looked you straight in the fucking eyes, yet couldn’t even give you a heads up he was bringing a date tonight. You worked together for six months yet he didn’t have the decency.  
He betrayed you. He didn’t cheat but he betrayed you. 
You had even mentioned her by name before, yet he said you were paranoid and had nothing to worry about. What bullshit. 
She was just a new trophy for him, one that he’d put on the shelf later, or smash like it like you were broken. 
 It started out so sweet and innocent. You had met working together and had started dating under the radar, and you fell in love with him so quickly, even at his worst, but it didn’t matter. He moved on with you still in the picture and that’s what hurt the most. But he would never see or care about how much you hurt. He wasn’t sorry. 
Isn’t it funny how someone you thought could love you the way you loved them, was a damn traitor? 
He played all these twisted games with your mind, thinking that he felt the same way about you, or at least cared. 
God, you wanted to scream, she was sleeping in the bed you lied in and made with him. But she couldn’t care less, she got the prize, a shitty one at that. 
You didn’t get it, he couldn’t have fallen in love with someone that quickly, not after what you had. 
All you had done for Tom, it didn’t apparently matter to him, cause he’s dating her. He gave you his fucking word, that you were the one who meant something to him, you guessed he just used you.
She was gorgeous too, and she made you feel so small, unimportant and the paparazzi all turned to them, and barely any was paying any mind to you, the star of the movie. It sounded selfish but you put the blood sweat and tears into this movie, and all she had to do was walk with the man you put blood sweat and tears into, and she had all the attention.
He just had to bring her and was showing her off like a new trophy. God, you hated him. You hated him for hurting you like this. And yet, if he asked for you back, you would probably jump at the chance. 
He seemed so genuine and true when you had first met him. Brown doe-eyed, attentive and listening to every word you said like it was the most important thing in the world, then things got ugly. He would play all these twisted games with you, making you feel like nothing one moment, and then his everything the next. 
He even gave you his fucking word and a promise ring that he would always love you, But Isn’t it funny? He’ll never feel sorry for breaking you. 
Suddenly one of your friends, well tom’s brother, wraps his arm around your waist, whispering to you, asking if your okay, before the paps get a few snaps in of the moment. Harry starts leading you away from the commotion before you cried. No one had asked you that until today. Which kind of shell shocked you, because you weren’t and he was the first person who seemed to care.
Harry at the moment couldn’t care less about the out-of-character way his brother was acting, especially towards you. Yes, he loved his brother but hated how he was acting. He couldn’t see how he could treat someone as lovely as you like that. 
Tom didn’t even notice the way you were destroyed. He let you go, Harry couldn’t understand why because tom seemed so happy with you, until nearing the end of the relationship. 
“Thank you, Harry.” you sniffle, once reaching the inside of the building. 
“You shouldn’t be thanking me. I should be apologizing for my brother.”
You smile weakly at him. He wipes the tears from your eyes, before suggesting,
“After they have you up on stage for the thank you’s and stuff, we should just ditch this and go back to my hotel and get room service and raid my candy stash, if you’re up for it.”
“I’ll think about it,” you say with a more genuine yet sad smile.
“Let’s get in there, shall we?” he puts his arm out for you and you link yours in his. 
What you didn’t realize is that tom saw harry wiping your tears while doing an interview, and saw you link your arms together when he got inside. To say he was fuming doesn’t even cover how enraged he was. 
Once getting in, you realized you and tom would be sitting next to one another, something you truly wished you could get out of. 
“You’d better wish me luck.” You point to the seats. 
Harry got the bright idea to just take his brother’s spot. He wouldn’t care anyway, he had his new girl Zabrina. 
You and Harry had a small conversation about what both of you had been up to after he was Tom’s assistant for filming. You saw him almost every day when you and tom would hang out, harry being the third wheel. You had spent a decent chunk of time with him and definitely preferred the company over being alone, or with your ex.
“I can’t believe you dropped your SD card down the drain! Photos are your life, so you should have paid attention!” you laugh with him.
“Harry, You’re in my seat.” Tom interrupts, with a scowl on his face. 
“Can’t you just move down one? Y/n and I are talking here.”
“Tommy I can’t see from that seat!” Zabrina pouts like a child. 
“If she can’t see why do I have to sit there? I actually worked behind the scenes on this movie!” 
“Harry, don’t make me-”
“You know what! Harry and I were leaving after we thank everyone. So you two lovebirds can have the whole row!” you say venom seething from your mouth. 
“There you go, Tommy. Have a nice night you two!” Harry follows up, really sick of the attitude his brother was having.
Tom’s face turned red under the makeup he had on. He was enraged. His brother was betraying him. 
“Have a nice time, fucking around” he said, seeing red. he saw your face soften, from anger to confusion, to sadness. You didn’t think he thought so low of you.
“What the fuck tom! We aren’t-”
“It’s not worth it Harry, he’s not worth it,” you say sadly. Standing up, Turning to go towards the stage. 
That hit tom with a pang in his chest. He was just trying to get over you, to move forward. But maybe that was the problem. He just left you in the dust (peter parker is that you?) to navigate the way you felt over losing one of the best things you ever had. God, you wished you didn’t fall in love with him before he betrayed you. You wished he just would have thought it through before he ruined you. 
Your director motioned over to you and Tom to go up on the stage. 
“I’ll meet you outside, Y/n/n.” 
That was tom’s nickname for you. He came up with it and he was the only one who could call you that. You were his and he was yours. But yet he knew that long-distance was so fucking hard. He couldn’t put you or himself, so he found someone who was fine with the distance. Zabrina barely paid attention to him unless he wanted attention for herself, but he didn’t realize how he broke much more of you than the surface showed. 
“She’s really pretty, I hope she makes you happy,” you mention bitterly, hoping in a terrible way,  he’d never be as happy as he was with you. 
Before Tom, you scream out no one would make him happy as you did. Your director cut tom off.
After your director said thanks to everyone and the film started you grab your bag from your assistant, before heading to the exit, tom hurriedly tried to follow you, being caught by Zabrina, asking Tom to take a selfie with her, so she could commemorate her ‘prize’ when truly, Tom was using her as a rebound. 
“Zabrina, I need to talk to harry!” he whispers yells.
“Why? He literally is taking to your wretched ex?” she says with venom in her voice. 
Tom jogs around her, trying to get to you and Harry, While Zabrina dramatically calls after him.
He was too late, though, he saw you from the doors, you were already getting in your getaway car, with Harry. He ruined everything.
Harry and you were sitting in the limousine that was rented for you, before harry states, “He’ll be the one who crying, I promise you.”
“I always knew this is how He’d leave me. He found someone more exciting, and better than me. I was used a discarded like nothing.” you laugh through the tears.
“You’ll find someone who finds you exciting Y/n, and you’ll be their whole world.” he comforts you.
“Good for him I guess, but it’s like we never happened. Like what the fuck is that?” you ask.
“He’s acting like a damn sociopath.” harry shrugs.
You laugh at that one. 
“So what do you want to watch Y/n?”
“Would you hate me if I said legally blonde?”
“Not if we can watch fight club after.” 
“You have a deal, Sir!”
Tom however was stuck, watching you and him on screen. Reminiscing of how he fucked up. 
It was getting close to an intimate scene, probably his favorite one he’s ever done. All he could think about was someone else getting to touch you, and be with you, he wanted that but at the same time, he couldn’t deal with all the shit of being with you. The relationship was too good, so much that Tom thought sometimes he didn’t deserve someone like you. It was probably crazy of him for thinking like that, but he couldn’t bring you down with him, not when he was so fucked up. He wished he could be the one but he couldn’t so he just hoped you were okay.  
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@harryhollandsgirlfriend
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love-archon · 3 years ago
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A Day With The Genshin Characters: Liyue Edition
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Today's going to be a busy day! Check your planner for who you'll be meeting with- as one of the esteemed members of the Liyue Qixing, you cannot afford to be late to any appointment. 
• 6:00, Ningguang: Morning Tea 
Although you say you love your job, waking up at un-archonly hours has to be the part you like the least. Even getting up at five in the morning, the hour when tigers prowl, is still not enough time to prepare for a meeting with the Tianquan. You rush around frantically choosing the best outfit, fragrance, and hair arrangement to present yourself to Lady Ningguang, and you're halfway out the door when it hits you- you forgot to bring a gift with you!
"Right on time," Ningguang says, pleased. You smile, hoping she won't hear your heart beating from anxiety. "And what a lovely present, too... is there any doubt you were appointed as one of the seven Qixing?" (You can't tell if it's her rare praise, or the sheer altitude you're at within the Jade Chamber, that's making your head spin).
• 7:00, Keqing: Business Meeting 
You barely have time to rest before Keqing whisks you away to Yuehai Pavilion. You're very close friends, and you admire the girl for her tenacity and diligence. The conversation flows easily as you walk to your destination under a cloudless sky. It's a wonderfully sunny moment, but the moment the doors lock, you mean business. In the next two hours, you conquer matters that would normally take days to resolve, and the two of you exchange grins. 
"There we go!" Keqing breathes a sigh of relief, pushing away the last stack of papers. She holds up her hand, and you high-five. "You know, I like how easily you keep up with me. You even caught mistakes I would have missed... things like this make me even more certain Liyue is better off in human hands."
• 9:00: Check In With Ganyu
With such a hectic schedule, Ganyu is your saving grace. It's always important to check in with her, just to make sure nothing you have planned catches you by surprise, and sometimes you wonder why others rarely do the same. She's quite lonely, and often mentions how nice it is that you speak with her every day and bring her gifts to help with work. It may be part of your job to be courteous, but... it does help her feel less lonely and conflicted with herself. 
"Qingxin flowers? Thank you so much." She accepts them gratefully, smiling at you with warm eyes. "I still have that new stationery you gave me, too. You're so kind for remembering the things I like!"
• 9:30: Talk to Beidou
The tea in the Jade Chamber was just a front for Ningguang to spring a request on you- meet with the captain of the Crux Fleet to discuss her... recent smuggling habits. But Beidou merely laughs heartily when you arrive. A crewmate tosses her a sack of Mora, and she slits it open, letting the payment shower over you in a spray of gold. And then, before you know what's happening, you're roped into helping them find a treasure rumored to be lost beneath the waves. 
"So, Ningguang though sending her star diplomat would get me to let up, huh!" You blush, wondering how you could be so easy to read under her ruby eye. "I was impressed by your words, and how well you fought by my side. But the annoyance of the Liyue Qixing is of no concern to me."
• 12:00, Tartaglia: TEACH HIM A LESSON!
As the member of the Qixing that oversees diplomacy and foreign relations, it's you that must meet with the Fatui Harbinger. He's quite good at playing pretend- all your underlings believed he was a naive, careless young man, and easily manipulated, too. And all of them ended up suppressing the urge to break something after they were done conversing with him. On your honor as one of Liyue's seven stars, you vow to not make their mistakes. 
"You're asking why I don't try to drive you mad?" he said, setting down his fork. You'd caved in and given him one after watching him struggle with chopsticks for far too long. "You're the only one who isn't a bore to talk to, that's all-" so this was on purpose?!- "and besides, I want to challenge you to a fight afterwards! Your vision's getting quite dusty from neglect, comrade. Let's fix that!"
• 2:00, Yanfei: Discussion of Legal Matters
Yanfei's counsel is an invaluable treasure. Especially when dealing with an opponent as vicious as Snezhnaya's Fatui, who deserve to have her wrath unleashed upon them. You walk to her office with a gleam in your eyes, and are delighted to see an equal fire already blazing in hers. For the next few hours, you two take the "suggestions" Tartaglia passed on from the Northland Bank and scheme on how to best tear them to shreds with the law.
"That man-childe's been giving you trouble again, huh," she giggles. "What did he come up with this time~? I've been waiting for an excuse to bring out the latest edition of my lawbook!" And with that, Yanfei slams it down, and the sheer weight of it nearly cracks her desk. "He won't know what hit him!"
• 4:00: Free Time
Of course, "free time" simply means that you have no meetings scheduled for this hour, which lets you adequately prepare for the next day's events. Tomorrow is your appointment with the Feiyun Commerce Guild, which you already know will require great patience and strength of mind. Because the head of the guild, and his eldest son, the future head, are- to put it mildly- not very bright... it's fortunate, then, that the second son Xingqiu has a good head on his shoulders.  
"Tomorrow, you should go straight to me instead," Xingqiu informs you cheerily, handing you a popsicle. Apparently, he keeps them around for his friend Chongyun, who's off to complete another exorcism. "I'll be sure to set everything in order." His eyes gleam. "And then, I can tell you the latest developments in 'A Legend of Sword'!"
• 5:00: Catch Xinyan's Concert!
Liyue's one and only rock musician isn't hard to find, thanks to the designated performance spots scattered around the city. You stop by at the raised platform where she's rocking out, where other people are listening as well. Xinyan strikes a peace sign in the air, and her vision glows with energy before the stage erupts with pillars of fire; her audience bursts into cheers and applause, and she's beaming as she leaps down to meet you. 
"Wait, seriously? You really changed up the rules a lil' so it'll be easier for me to hold concerts here?" Her eyes shine as they scan the papers- one of the many results of your work today in Yuehai. "Thank you so much! Wait-" she picks up her guitar again, giving it an experimental riff. "Let me think up a quick song for ya as thanks- I insist!"
• 6:00: Wangsheng Funeral Parlor 
Lately, you've been sent particularly determined requests from the other nations about allowing tourists to observe the ancient funeral rites. You already know the answer's gonna be a hard no, but the laws written by Rex Lapis state that you must check with the director anyway. She's not there when you arrive, so a consultant, Zhongli, brings you tea while you wait for her. You sit together in the fading sun, waiting for Hu Tao's familiar song to rise above the hill. 
Zhongli takes a quiet sip from his cup, closing his luminous eyes. "Although it was Rex Lapis who created the laws, they are not meant to be set in stone. Humans must revise the contract as they see fit, so that it will not erode with the passage of time." Something makes you feel as though it's more significant to him than you know. Then, he smiles slightly. "But, just looking at the people leading the way in his absence, like you... there's no need for me to worry."
• 8:00: Dinner; Request Chef Xiangling
The Wanmin Restaurant, run by Chef Mao and his daughter, is a breath of fresh air. While the rest of Liyue is divided between the "Li" and "Yue" styles of cooking, Xiangling pays the conflict no mind. Instead, she's not afraid to be daring and experiment, blazing ahead without worrying about what others think. You can see some similarities between her and Keqing, but it's best not to mention it after that disastrous banquet they organized together... 
"Had a rough day, didn't you?" Xiangling asks, her golden eyes twinkling as she hands you the steaming hot bowl. "Well, for you, I made sure to prepare your favorite dish! I hope you don't mind if I added a lizard or two this time- I'm kidding!" she adds quickly, upon seeing alarm flash across your face. 
• 9:00: Return Home
After everything that happened, you're eager to collect the reports from your subordinates and head home to draft new revisions for Tianquan Ningguang to look over (and then, hopefully, get some rest). But as you're walking on the path to your neighborhood, you spot a little girl sitting in the grass, clutching her head. Alarm rises in your chest as you rush over to see what's wrong, and why she's alone- only to realize with a start that she's the child that returned from the dead.  
"Thank you for taking Qiqi back to Bubu Pharmacy," she says, reading solemnly from her notebook (where the entire thank-you script is written). Even when you set her down, she's still reading the pieces of paper. "Will you tell Dr. Baizhu where I got lost? Please and thank you, again."
• 10:00: Sleep
In the end, you never did get to those revisions. You can hear your fellow Qixing scolding you in your head, but at least you got plenty of other things done; the well-oiled machine that is Liyue will still keep running on thanks to the tasks you accomplished today. Someday, even the adepti will have to acknowledge the ability of humans... you turn in your bed to feel the coolness of the other side. Speaking of adepti... the night air coming in... reminds you of... "Xiao..."
"I thought you were in danger," the adeptus huffs. The moment you said his name, you'd finally fallen asleep, but it still brought Xiao to you- balanced on the windowsill, hair waving in the breeze. "Still... I'm... glad that you're alright," he admits, glancing at you to make sure you're not awake to hear. "Rest well, bright star of Liyue." And then, with a sound like a sigh- or was it the wind?- he's gone.
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absolutebl · 3 years ago
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This Week in BL
May 2021 Wk 3
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.
It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.) 
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow. 
Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day. 
Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story. 
Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan. 
Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have... 
Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL. 
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here. 
Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL. 
Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger. 
Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution.   * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)  
Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad? 
My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count). 
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Gossip - Thai BL 
SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS
No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail. 
It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking), 
or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked), 
or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories). 
They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay... 
Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good. 
Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch. 
Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun. 
We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?) 
Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow. 
Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA... 
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Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU! 
Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three. 
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Breaking News 
DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates) 
Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer. 
Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.  
Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations. 
Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual. 
Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often. 
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Next Week Looks Like This: 
Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.
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Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.
Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.
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fybillielourd · 5 years ago
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I grew up with three parents: a mom, a dad and Princess Leia. I guess Princess Leia was kind of like my stepmom–technically family, but deep down I didn’t really like her. She literally and metaphorically lived on a planet I had never been to. When Leia was around, there wasn’t as much room for my mom–for Carrie. As a child, I couldn’t understand why people loved Leia as much as they did. I didn’t want to watch her movie, I didn’t want to dress up like her, I didn’t even want to talk about her. I just wanted my mom–the one who lived on Earth, not Tatooine. I didn’t watch Star Wars until I was about 6 years old. (And I technically didn’t finish it until I was 9 or 10. I’m sorry! Don’t judge me!) My mom used to love to tell people that every time she tried to put it on, I would cover my ears and yell, “It’s too loud, Mommy! Turn it off!”–or fearfully question, “Is that lady in the TV you?” It wasn’t until middle school that I finally decided to watch it of my own accord–not because I suddenly developed a keen interest in ’70s sci-fi, but because boys started coming up to me and saying they fantasized about my mom. My mom? The lady who wore glitter makeup like it was lotion and didn’t wear a bra to support her much-support-needed DD/F’s? They couldn’t be talking about her! I had to investigate who this person was they were talking about. So I went home and watched the movie I had forever considered too loud and finally figured out what all the fuss was about the lady in the TV. I’d wanted to hate it so I could tell her how lame she was. Like any kid, I didn’t want my mom to be “hot” or “cool”–she was my mom. I was supposed to be the “cool,” “hot” one–not her! But staring at the screen that day, I realized no one is, or ever will be, as hot or as cool as Princess F-cking Leia. (Excuse my language. She’s just that cool!) Later that year, I went to Comic-Con with my mom. It was the first time I realized how widespread and deep people’s love for Leia was, even after so many years. It was surreal: people of all ages from all over the world were dressed up like my mom, the lady who sang me to sleep at night and held me when I was scared. Watching the amount of joy it brought to people when she hugged them or threw glitter in their faces was incredible to witness. People waited in line for hours just to meet her. People had tattoos of her. People named their children after her. People had stories of how Leia saved their lives. It was a side of my mom I had never seen before. And it was magical. I realized then that Leia is more than just a character. She’s a feeling. She is strength. She is grace. She is wit. She is femininity at its finest. She knows what she wants, and she gets it. She doesn’t need anyone to defend her, because she defends herself. And no one could have played her like my mother. Princess Leia is Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher is Princess Leia. The two go hand in hand. When I graduated from college, like most folks, I was trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life. I went to school planning to throw music festivals, but always had this little sliver of me that wanted to do what my parents pushed me so hard not to do–act. I was embarrassed to admit I was even slightly interested. So when my mom called me and told me they wanted me to come in to audition for Star Wars, I pretended it wasn’t a big deal–I even laughed at the concept–but inside I couldn’t think of anything that would make me happier. A couple weeks later I went in for my audition. I probably had never been more nervous in my life. I was terrified and most likely made a fool of myself, but I kind of had a great time doing it. I assumed they would never call me, but after that audition, I realized I wanted to give the whole acting thing a shot. I was definitely afraid, but as a wise woman once said, “Stay afraid, but do it anyway … The confidence will follow.” About a month later, they somehow ended up calling. And there I was, on my way to be in motherf-cking Star Wars. Whoa. Growing up, my parents treated film sets like a house full of people with the flu: they kept me away from them at all costs. So on that fateful first day driving up to Pinewood, I was like a doe-eyed child. I couldn’t tell my mom, but little sassy, sarcastic, postcollege me felt like a giddy, grateful middle schooler showing up to a fancy new school. On that first day, my mom and I sat next to each other in the hair and makeup trailer. (Actually, she wasn’t really one for sitting, so she paced up and down and around me, occasionally reapplying her already overapplied glitter makeup and feeding Gary, her French bulldog.) Between glitterings, the hairstylist crafted what was to become General Leia’s hairstyle, then it was on to me: little Lieutenant Connix. Funnily enough, my mom had more to say about my hairstyle than her own. Even though she complained for years about how the iconic Leia buns “further widened my already wide face,” she desperately wanted me to carry on the face-widening family tradition! Some people carry on their family name, some people carry on holiday traditions–I was going to carry on the family hairstyle. So after we tested a few other space-appropriate hairstyles, we decided to embrace the weird galactic nepotism of it all and went with the mini–Leia buns. She stood in the mirror behind me and smiled like we had gotten matching tattoos. Our secret-handshake hairstyle. On the first day of this thing I could now call “work,” I walked into the Resistance Base set for rehearsal and J.J. Abrams, the director, told me where to stand and what to do–basically just press some pretty real-looking fake buttons. But I have to say, just pressing those buttons and observing the rest of the scene was one of the most fun things I had ever done. I had no lines in the scene, but my mom kept checking on me like I was delivering a Shakespearean monologue. “Are you O.K.?” she asked. “Do you need anything?” I scoffed at her maternal questions like a child embarrassed by her mother yelling goodbye too loud in a carpool line: “Mommy, go away! I’m fine. Focus on you, not me!” In the moment, I was humiliated that my mom was moming me on my first day of work, on the Star Wars set, of all places. But now I realize she was just being protective. Sets are extremely intimidating–I was too green at the time to know that–and she assumed I would be scared as hell. But weirdly, I wasn’t. At risk of sounding insane, something about this bizarre new world made me feel right at home. I had found a place with an empty puzzle slot that perfectly matched my weird-shaped puzzle piece. That night, on the long London-traffic-filled ride back from set, she turned to me and smiled. “Bits,” she said. “You know, most people aren’t as comfortable on sets as you were today. Especially on the f-cking Star Wars set, of all places!” (Excuse my language, but that was her language.) “This might be something you should think about doing.” At first I laughed, assuming she was kidding. But she continued to look me straight in the eye with no inkling of irony in sight. My mom was telling me I should act–my mom? The lady who spent my entire life convincing me acting was the last thing I should do? It couldn’t be true. But it was. I haven’t had many moments like this in my life–those aha moments everyone talks about. This was my first real one. My mom wanted me to be an actress. That was when I realized I had to give it a shot. She used to sarcastically quip that she knew all along what a massive hit Star Wars would be. As with most things, she was kidding. She was absolutely and totally beyond shocked by the massive global phenomenon that was the first Star Wars trilogy. It changed her life forever. Then, when it happened again almost 40 years later, she was even more absolutely and totally beyond shocked. It changed her life yet again. But that time, it changed my life too. I thought getting to make one Star Wars movie with her was a once-in-a-lifetime thing; then they asked me to come do the next movie and I got to do my once-in-a-lifetime twice. On our second movie together, I really tried to take a step back and appreciate what I was doing. I couldn’t tell her because she’d think I was lame, but getting to watch her be Leia this time made me feel like the proud mom. Watching the original Star Wars movies as a kid in my mom’s bed, I never imagined the lady in the TV would get older and get back in the TV. And I definitely never imagined we would end up in the TV together. But that’s where we ended up. Two little ladies in the TV together–Leia and little Lieutenant Connix. We wrapped The Last Jedi a little less than six months before she died. I went back to L.A. to film the show I was on, and she stayed in London to film the show she was on. One of the last times we spoke on the phone, she talked about how excited she was that the next movie in the trilogy was going to be Leia’s movie. Her movie. She used to say that in the original movies, she got to be “the only girl in an all-boys fantasy.” But with each new Star Wars movie, the all-boys fantasy started to become a boys-and-girls fantasy. She was no longer a part of a fantasy, but the fantasy herself. Leia was not just a sidekick one of the male leads had on his arm, or a damsel in distress. She was the hero herself. The princess became the general. My mom died on Dec. 27, 2016. Two days after Christmas, four days before New Year’s and about a year before she was supposed to appear in her final Star Wars film. Losing my mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I lost my best friend. My little lady in the TV. My Momby. And I inherited this weird, intimidating thing called her legacy. Suddenly I was in charge of what would come of her books, her movies and a bunch of other overwhelming things. I was now the keeper of Leia. About a year later, J.J. called me into his office to talk about the plans for Leia. We both agreed she was too important to be written off in the classic Star Wars introductory scroll. This last movie was supposed to be Leia’s movie, and we wanted it to remain that, as much as possible. What I hadn’t known–and what J.J. told me that day –was that there was footage of my mom that they had collected over the years that hadn’t made it into the movies, footage that J.J. told me would be enough to write an entire movie around. It was like she had left us a gift that would allow Leia’s story to be completed. I was speechless. (Anyone who knows me knows that doesn’t happen very often.) J.J. asked me if I would want to come back as Lieutenant Connix. I knew it would be one of the most painful, difficult things I would ever do, but I said yes for her–for my mom. For Leia. For everyone Leia means so much to. For everyone Leia gives strength to. For my future kids, so someday they’ll have one more movie to watch that Mommy and Grandma were in together. So they can ask me about the lady–now ladies–in the TV and tell me to turn it down because it’s too loud. I grew up with three parents: a mom, a dad and Princess Leia. Initially, Princess Leia was kind of like my stepmom. Now she’s my guardian angel. And I’m her keeper.
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