#directly into them and they could chomp

[kolektsiakomah]

THIS FUCK ASS DINOSAUR I HAD A NIGHTMARE ABT WONT LET ME RELAX what do you want from me

[disteal]

I only ask cause you usually seem to be pretty up to date on the goings on of this site, but what the HELL is going on with tumblr's CEO? Why are they having a meltdown responding to asks? What's the trans misogyny accusation about? Why is tumblr apparently being run by children?

Thanks in advance.

This is kind of a long story so this is sort of TLDR for brevity but there’s more going on here.

Some context if you weren’t aware; Tumblr has been accused multiple times by its userbase for fostering TERF staff members and covering for them when making transphobic moderation calls. Things like; an overeagerness to ban trans women for posting nudes despite not addressing nazis or bots for years, or protection of notable TERF users who flagrantly break TOS by organising hate campaigns. The users who collected evidence of this became huge targets for these “””alleged””” TERF mods and users and were basically hunted online for sport. Up until recently the “terf mods” take was considered a bit of a conspiracy theory by some who assumed it was more likely to be an automation problem mixed with transphobic reports.

This week: tumblr user predstrogen was recently permabanned (for a second time) following a mass reporting by TERFs. This, obviously, pissed a lot of people off, and a fairly routine “the fuck haven’t you banned the nazis yet??” ask was sent to photomatt, the CEO.

Photomatt, INSANELY, replied, misgendering her multiple times and defending his decision to personally smack down the ban hammer by citing predstrogens nudes, but by his own admission the far more heinous crime was this absolutely ridiculous post;

Matt has also contacted the FBI over this stupid shit despite predstrogen not living in the US.

Lastly, during this very public announcement on the kangaroo court hearing, matty drops this absolute nuclear bomb about Tumblr having some internal drama when they’d discovered an external contractor was A) a transphobe wielding mod authority to be transphobic B) criminally selling moderation (likely to TERFs).

Despite this obviously being on the record somewhere, this is clearly news to fucking everyone including myself.

It’s also worth noting that predstrogen has not been the only recent ban; several black people and black transfems have been instabanned after directly asking matt for accountability (the user i’ve seen specifically named was @rulerofpurple and his partner)

So, naturally, people are fucking furious they spent years getting gaslit by staff, who had been assuring us of their even-handedness, but surprise!!! Trans women WERE being uniquely targeted, and even worse, likely targeted by the people who they could never seem to deplatform despite constant death threats and doxxing!! And despite all this assurance that Tumblrs internals are now perfectly free of transmisogyny and racism, it’s pretty obvious to just about everyone that Tumblr staff are chomping at the bit to ban trans women.

[koolades-world]

Can you please do headcanons of an MC whose love language is random biting

Like MC and their chosen lover could be cuddling or watching a movie and randomly in MC’s mind they’ll just go “their arm lookin’ real bitable rn” and softly bites them

Can you do everyone please 🙏🙏🙏

hi!!!!! haha of course

enjoy <3

Mc whose love language is biting

Lucifer

it's a jumpscare for him at first

he's always on some elevated level of alertness, and he wasn't expecting it at all

but after he realizes it's just you, he's happy to let you continue

he's a little confused but he's happy if you're happy

Mammon

another brother that's scared the first time

you two were watching a horror movie, so he was already on edge

you already know how that ended haha

but, he really enjoys your little bites, and brags about it a lot to his demon friends who don't know a lot about humans

Levi

he's familiar with the concept because he's chronically online

he turns into a blushing mess every time you do

but don't stop

(he really likes it, but he'd never tell you that directly, but he might indirectly)

Satan

since he was midway through his sentence while reading, he has a moment of buffering

he had to finish reading, mark where he was, then assess the situation

he'll ask several questions about why and what it means

but once he learns that it's because you love him, he won't even stop or question you again <3

Asmo

he just has to ask you: is he tasty haha

of course he is, you don't even need to answer

he thinks you're very cute

as long as you don't do any serious chomps that might do damage, he encourages your adorable expression of your love

Beel

will ask if he can nom you back

he understands you!!

this will become a regular thing

he loves the mischievous face you always make before you decide to bite

Belphie

he doesn't even notice at first

he's half asleep so he only realizes when you make it more obvious

if it makes you happy he won't stop you

just don't wake him up from his nap haha

[d6volution]

jax teasing reader under the table while everyone else is ‘eating’ their digital dinner.. and reader getting revenge on jax later…

please and thank you <33🙏

i love your username 😆 , this was on the shorter side but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

The Banquet.

Jax/Fem!Reader

tags: fingering, public sex, biting.

minors dni.

"Y/N.. a-are you alright..?"  Gangle who sat directly next to you at the long dinner table seemed worried, their sad mask making that painfully obvious. You squirmed a little, nodding your head and clearing your throat. "O.. Of course, Gangle why do you.. ask!" your voice hitched and broke at the end of your sentence. You were clearly far from okay.

Gangle felt guilty for asking, maybe you were just nervous..? She sure was on her first few dinners, "Right.. sorry, y/n.." You shook your head, elbow resting on the table. No digging into the table as you tried to find some sense of balance. "It's,  f.. fine gangle..!" You reassured the sad little bundle of ribbons.

Your leg attempted to kick the disturbance beneath the table, but Jax was quick to catch your leg and instead using this advantage to spread them further. 'Heh, you're just makin this too easy, y/n.' He thought to himself. A gloved hand stroked your inner thigh, the other keeping it pried open. His fingertips got closer to the heat in between your legs and tried to keep your compsure.

Jax was sat with his legs crossed beneath the table, his ears just rubbing against the table due to his height. He pushed your undergarments aside , finger prodding at your wet slit before dipping a finger inside. His grin wide with delight.

You slapped your hand over your mouth , stifling a yelp. You desperately wanted to close your legs but his grip on your thigh was vice. He tutted in his head as if to silently scold you. Move again and he'd have no choice but to bite you. Oh, too bad you couldn't hear his threat. Guess you'll just have to learn the hard way.

His finger kept pumping in and out of your cunt slowly, your hips bucked forward. "Hhn.." You hummed in pleasure, pretending it was because of the 'delicious' food. Shooting a nervous, half smile at Zooble who eyed you curiously. If anyone knew, it was them. They couldn't tell what exactly was going on but was sure the only person who could be behind this was the one person who wasn't at the table. Jax.

Another finger was added and you gasped, attempting to hide it with a cough. Jax found this hilarious and had to stifle his laughter, using this chance to suddenly pump those two fingers into your cunt even faster. Causing your legs to shake and try to close around his hand again.

Nope.

His mouth opened, sharp rows of teeth being bared just before he chomped at your inner thigh, leaving bright red teeth marks that just nearly broke the skin. This sent a shudder through your spine, the mix of pain and pleasure pushing you even closer to climax. Being in such a vulnerable situation, surrounded by many questioning eyes.. it wasn't fair.. you'd have to get him back by this.

"Ghn.." You squeezed your eyes shut, trying your hardest to have to the quietest orgasm of your life. But the way he was digging into your cunt , purposely curling his fingers it made it all too hard. Your hand reached down and grabbed his hand but in turn he grabbed yours , fingers digging in your forearm to keep you still as a violent orgasm wracked through your body.

You bit your lip nearly making it bleed as you came, hunched over the table. A few people had already vacated , only Kinger and Gangle were left at the table. Kinger completely unaware and Gangle still worried.

"I.. I need to be excused..!" You said, your voice a little horse. Jax removed his fingers from your cunt unceremoniously and wiped his fingers on your inner thigh. Sitting back and admiring his work.

He saw you stand up quickly, your legs almost giving out as the chair scooted back with an ungodly screech.

You hurried back to your room, glaring at Jax's in the process. You knew he had to wait for everyone to leave the table before he could even think about coming to his room.

Hurriedly you cleaned yourself up, face still flushed and heart still racing from that little incident.

You heard a little knock on your door and swung it open immediately, or course it was Jax. Standing there with a smug look on his face. Your hand curled around one of his overall straps and yanked him inside. The door slamming afterwards.

"No need to get violent doll, seems like you enjoyed yourself out there. Am I wrong? Or was I just hallucinating your pretty cunt clenching around my fingers?"

"Sh.. Shut up!" You pushed him onto the bed and he laid back, arms crossed behind his head carelessly. "Why? What ya gonna do, suck me off til I have a heart attack?"

"Nope. I'm not touching you at all."

He sat up, "What? C'mon don't be like that doll," You tried to hide your grin, giving him a faux cold shoulder so he couldn't make out your expression.

"Maybe.. if you get on your knees and say please then I'll return the favor. How about that?" You said, finally revealing your face to him. A sly smile playing on your lips.

"Not happening." He said in a flat tone.

"Well then I hope you like being blue balled my little bunny." You said with a smile and got up from the bed but he grabbed your wrist before you could. His face was downcast at the floor, hiding the very subtle flush on his cheeks.

. . . . .

Kinger swung open your door without thinking , "JAX! We have a problem I—" Kinger stood in shock, staring at Jax on his knees pleading to you and you sitting on the bed with your legs crossed staring down at him. Jax face palmed, of course. Of course someone had to interrupt.

"I.. see, perhaps I should come back later.." He slowly shut the door.

[three-dee-ess]

It's time for the top 5 most FUCKED UP 3DS/DSs that people have sent me unprompted!!!

Starting from the tamest to the most messed up-

5. Not 3DS.

This straight up isn't a 3DS and it's pretty funny I think but yeah 5th place goes to every ask I get that sends me pictures of things that aren't 3DS's or 3DS related. I've gotten dogs, PS vitas, and as you can tell, a Wii U.

4. The (literal) unhinged DS

What makes this one different than the other ones people have posted on this website is. a) this was sent to me directly and b) the fact it is STILL FULLY FUNCTIONAL DESPITE IT ALL?????

3. This puffy fellow.

if your 3DS looks like this PLEASE look up safe lithum ion battery disposal areas near you, a battery that puffy can and WILL turn into a fireball if pierced/popped. Excluding the... obvious though- it seems to just be. pretty normal.

2. LEGO hot glue screw mess.

It somehow looks like chewed up gum, a terrible DIY and like chernobyl's elephant foot all rolled up into one. And it basically is!

HONORABLE MENTIONS!!!

in order of appearance, these are the DS's that didn't make the cut. bath bomb 3DS, barnacle 3DS, fucked DS lite, dorito DS, 3DSXL with a chomp taken out, and always 3D 3DS.

Number 1 most FUCKED Up DS someone has sent me...

1. Blood DSi

Words fail me so I'll just. quote directly from the person who sent this in.

"yeah so the L button stopped working back in like probably 2015 so i opened it up recently to see if i could pop something back into place and there was just this weird squishy crud inside that smelled like dried blood (don't ask) this led to probably the most unhinged picture i've ever taken because it was 4am and i was trying to do this on my bed for some reason (don't do that. obviously) obviously i gave them a good cleaning with isopropyl but i think i nudged something wrong because now they just. randomly shut off sometimes. it already had issues for years like the screen randomly turning pink. but at least they don't poop. i think. but they do bleed apparently. my ds family is very ok"

this is just a sampling of the many fucked up 3DS's people send me all of the time. I've been working on this post for a while but blood DSi pushed me over the edge. The image of it on the bed with the line of isopropyl... I just. I'm speechless honestly.

[jungshookz]

y/n needs help with sunscreen and, uh, yoongi can definitely help out with that

➺ pairing; demon!yoongi x y/n 

➺ genre; ...:-) 

➺ wordcount; 1.5k 

»»————- ☀️ ————-««

“remind me again why we couldn’t just stay home today?” yoongi grunts, leaning back against the flimsy foldout chair and tilting his head back, squinting slightly as bright rays of white-hot sun seem to shoot directly into his eyes despite him wearing a pair of pretty solid sunglasses, “fucking hell, that’s bright. you need to do something about the sun. can’t you, like, fly up there and shove some clouds in front of it or something?” 

god, he hates the outdoors 

and he hates the heat

years of living on earth have really softened him because he would like nothing more than to go back home and blast the air-conditioner until the apartment becomes an icebox 

“aw, don’t be like that. i, personally, love summer,” jimin sighs, crossing one ankle over the other as he basks in the warmth of the beautiful, golden ball of butter hanging in the sky, “and humans love going to the beach during the summer season! we need to do things that they like now that we live with them. you need to humanize yourself-“ 

“first of all, you love everything, and second of all, we aren’t humans,” yoongi grunts, reaching over to adjust the umbrella so that he’s covered by more shade, “you could literally sprout wings out of your back if you wanted to, and i could set someone on fire right now if i wanted to. and right now, this heat is making me want to set everyone on fire- oh my god, this shitty umbrella isn’t budging- how far did jungkook stick it into the sand?!“ 

“NOOOOOO!” both jimin and yoongi look over when they hear jungkook whining, yoongi letting out a laugh of genuine joy when he realises that jungkook’s sandcastle just got completely washed away by a rogue wave

HAH

“oh, no!” jimin gasps, sitting up straight in his seat as if the destruction of jungkook’s sandcastle is the worst possible thing to happen in the entire course of humanity, “oh, gosh… we should help him rebuild his castle, it’s the only right thing to do… i feel awful-“ 

“awful? that wave did him a favour.” yoongi snorts, “his sandcastle was an ugly little clump of sand, anyway- and if he was smart, he shouldn’t have built it so close to the water-“

“aw, did jungkook’s castle get wrecked?!” yoongi turns his head slightly upon hearing your voice and he isn’t surprised to see a popsicle (or what’s left of a popsicle) in your hand, “i told him not to build it so close to the water but he refused to listen to me. he said he wanted it to be close to the water so the crabs would be able to live in it if they wanted to.” 

“yeah, i’m sure the crab real estate market is booming right now-“ yoongi rolls his eyes, “see, jimin? i’m not the only one around here who thinks that jungkook’s sandcastle location was stupid-”

“hey, i never said stupid-“ you drop to your knees on top of your beach towel next to yoongi as you slide the rest of the popsicle off the wooden stick and pop it into your mouth in one go, chomping down on the deliciously citrusy icy crystals, “i jusht said it wahs in a bad locashun-“ 

“yeah. a bad, stupid location-“ 

“well, i don’t know about you guys, but i’m gonna go help him!” jimin gets up from his seat, pulling his sunglasses down from the top of his head before shaking his head, “i feel bad, i can practically see the waves of disappointment radiating off of him and i just can’t help but-“

“yeah, yeah, we get it, you’re an angel-“ yoongi dismisses jimin with a flick of his wrist, his eyebrows raising slightly when he sees you peeling your top off to reveal the very cute bikini you have on underneath, “and i am the complete opposite, hello-“ he lowers his sunglasses onto the tip of his nose, shamelessly letting his eyes wander along the slope of your back and the curve of your perky bum as you get settled on your beach towel, “where’ve you been hiding this little number??” 

“i haven’t been hiding it anywhere, i just brought it out for the beach!” the corner of your mouth twitches in a smirk as you get comfortable on the soft, warm ground, folding your arms over each other and resting your cheek on top of them — the truth is you have been hiding this little number (it’s a slinky little two piece that matches the fiery orange of yoongi’s newly dyed hair) because you’ve been saving it for a nice beach day like this, “do you think you could help get my sunscreen from-“ 

“yes.” yoongi rips his sunglasses off his face and gets up from his seat immediately, leaning down to grab the bottle of sunscreen out of your bag,  “god, yes, i can help-“ his mouth goes dry when you reach behind yourself to undo the string of your top and he turns to bite his fist because all he wants to do right now is thank satan for linking him up with you 

he remembers he was gonna call in sick on that day, too, but thankfully he decided to get out of bed and actually go to work like the good, hardworking demon he is 

it’s only a second later that you feel yoongi straddling you gently, crotch pressed against your bum and- “oh- god, yoongi, a little warning would’ve  been nice-“ you laugh lightly when you feel a squirt of sunscreen shoot across your back, shutting your eyes as your muscles relax under yoongi’s familiar touch 

“your ass looks so fucking good, baby-“ yoongi seems to be mesmerised and in his own little world as he rubs the sunscreen into your skin, letting his hands glide up and down your back in slow sweeps as he takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, “i, like- god, i wanna fuck the shit outta you-“ 

“yoongi-“ your eyes pop open and you feel your face burn up immediately when yoongi suddenly grips your hips with both hands and forces you up a little 

you turn your head to look back at him (which, in hindsight, perhaps only encouraged yoongi even more because he loves when you look back at him when he’s got you on your elbows and knees for him), flustered to see that yoongi’s eyes have gone dark and there’s a certain look of heat swirling around in them, “we are in public-“

“so? there’s an umbrella and we’re off to the side-“ yoongi’s hand slides up your greased-up back before it slinks into your hair, fingers wrapping around your hair before he gives you a gentle yank, “and you love when i fuck you in this position, you were certainly a big fan of it last night-“ he growls playfully, leaning down so he can press a kiss to the back of your ear 

“you are shameless!” you can’t help but let out a laugh of disbelief as the logical voice in your head tells you that this is a highly inappropriate way to act on a public beach while the sprinkling of demon in you tells you that you should 100% just let yoongi yank your panties down on a public beach- 

“i’m a demon, the fuck did you expect?” yoongi’s other hand grabs a fistful of your ass as he starts rocking against you, “you knew who i was when we got together, you literally summoned me-“ 

“y/n, jungkook needs your help with his castle!” 

“shit- one second!“ you practically shove yoongi off and roll out from under him when you hear jimin’s sweet voice ring out, getting up onto your knees and reaching behind your back to fumble with the strings of your top, “you’re horrible, you know that?” 

the last thing you’d want is for jimin to pop his head under the umbrella to see yoongi slutting you out because that would probably traumatise him 

“you love it, don’t lie.” yoongi can’t help but chuckle to himself at how flustered you are (even after all this time together, your cheeks still get so pink as if you’re not used to him being so brazen with you all the time) as he plops himself back down on his chair, running a hand through his hair before he leans down to pick his sunglasses up off the floor 

“you’re gonna have to help him dig the moat because apparently i didn’t do it as well as you-“ 

“coming!” you get up onto your feet, dusting the flecks of sand off your hands and looking around for your own sunglasses, “i’m coming, i’m coming-“

“well, not yet, but you will be once we get home.” yoongi coughs, flicking his finger towards you before your sunglasses suddenly float out of your bag and over to you 

“you are horrible.” you snatch it midair before anyone notices before scrunching your nose at yoongi in a frown of disapproval

absolutely horrible! 

🎙️ scold yoongi and y/n for public indecency (talk to my characters!) 

📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (full fics!) 

💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)

🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits like this!) 

[dadsbongos]

till death do us part

772 words / warnings - gross sex like grimy, dubcon, mentions of blood

summary - desperate to live, you and Cahara make love.

~~~

Just as you’re certain nothing could possibly get worse, the dungeons of Fear and Hunger have a clever way of proving you wrong.

You’d sacrificed a bear trap to escape one of the hulking prison guards on the previous level, but nonetheless Cahara is gushing blood through his palm from blocking a meat cleaver. Even experienced mercenaries can fizzle into petrified adolescents down here.

His injury aside, your food supply has dwindled vastly. Herbs and vials soon after. Only enough for one person.

No cloth binds to stop his bleeding nor even alcohol to burn away the germs.

“It’s… a long shot. We won’t,” you reread the excerpt from Studies of Syvlian, “We won’t be ourselves in the traditional sense,” you turn towards Cahara, he’s got his fists cupped as if he could keep his blood from spilling over the floor, “I don’t know what’ll happen to our minds, but our bodies will be done for as we know them.”

Cahara stares at you. Boyish and sweet in a way unbefitting of a mercenary. Unbefitting of this dungeon. He nods and lets his fingers go lax, the pooled blood dribbles down his lithe fingers and blots the floor below, “Yeah, okay,” he hisses as he wipes the blood from his hands against his pants, “Let’s do this, then!”

“You’re sure?”

“Let’s go!”

“Cahara, I don’t want to make you- “

“Oh, dollface, I know what I’m doing. Die while trying,” his gray eyes swim with more blue than steel, “Let’s do this while we’re kicking, yeah?”

His tender certainty makes you more hesitant.

Cahara slips off his vest quickly, trousers soon to follow as he smarms, “There’s not many who could rival my skills in this line of business, you know?”

Protest is trapped in the back of your throat, despite this being your suggestion, until Cahara stands directly before you. His hands are softer than you’d expect, soothing over the knots in your shoulders and grazing his fingertips under your blouse. It’s matted and blood-stained, now an unsightly russet overtakes the pillowy white. You can hardly remember why you wore such a lovely thing to these dungeons.

He slides your blouse off as you undo his trousers, then slipping off his chest piece.

Freezing stone floor jerks goosebumps from your whole body, Cahara notices the jitter and rolls you on top -- he braves the uncomfortable so you can focus on slicking his cock with spit. You’re not wet, and Cahara can’t delude himself into thinking he’ll be able to change that, not with how you’re constantly looking over your shoulder.

He sighs quietly once he’s buried inside you: you’re warm, at least. Very warm. Squeezing hands fasten your pelvis to his, hips bucking into you and punching quiet huffs from your chest. Cahara smiles up at you, squiggly and shivering as sweat glistens down the column of his throat.

Guilt gnaws up the rungs of your spine, gulping your brian stem, and chomping through your brain tissue -- guilt for this suggestion, guilt for him doing all the work, guilt for your sounds restricting to groans and grunts. Cahara deserves better, Cahara should live, Cahara brings a hand to the back of your neck.

Spreading blackened joints along your nape, Cahara lulls you to hunch over his chest until you’re smashing lips together. His brows are furrowed, he pecks the corner of your lips and whispers,

“Can I have your tongue? Is that okay?”

Nodding shyly, you scrape your knees against the floor to spread wider for his thrusting and open your mouth. Tongue lolling to skim Cahara’s -- his breath hitches and his other hand rises to cup your cheek. Without the grounding, your body jumps with each rock of his hips and you’ve decided to grind back down, hoping to coax Cahara’s finish quickly.

He whines, you suck his tongue as if to taste the sweet sound and absorb the pleasure.

Miraculously, it seems to work.

Suddenly, you feel wet. So wet. Warm. Thighs suctioning against Cahara’s waist: the impression of his cock long gone, but you maintain the motions as if it's still there. Preserving a sense of normalcy in manufactured frenzy. Molten bubbles bursting in burning veins.

Burns hot. Hot white. White blisters meld your skin to Cahara’s.

Cahara’s moans swerve into growled screams as your teeth clench so hard you feel them shatter and slice into your gums. Gummy flesh folds into flesh, yours and Cahara’s skulls colliding -- soft mushing where there should be loud clacks. Clacking lanterns and soft hums echo from priests as your eyes flutter, vision blackening.

Black.

Black.

Black.

Eyes open. The marriage is consummated.

[apomaro-mellow]

okay yall convinced me to continue this

Eddie looked around and all he saw was black. Was this what death was like? He expected more people. But maybe death was just solitude. Then all of a sudden he wasn't alone.

He jumped back when he came face to face with, himself.

"What the fuck?"

His mirror image looked back and smirked. Then looked down at his hands.

"Finally."

"What the hell is going on here? Where am I? W-we?"

"Vecna is putting us back together. We can see everyone again soon."

"You mean...I'm not dead?"

"Oh we're very much alive. In fact, I'd say we're better than before."

As his mirror said that, Eddie felt a new energy thrumming in his veins.

"Why? Why would Vecna do this, I was tryina kill that bastard!"

"He wants something in return. To use us against them."

"Like hell that's gonna happen. I-"

"Didn't let myself get chomped on just so I could be used by an actual murderer."

"How did you-"

"Is it not obvious? I'm still you. But I'm the parts he wants to use. The part that's afraid of Vecna. Afraid of the world for seeing us for what we are. And angry at our lot in life. And ashamed for how we feel."

Eddie didn't respond. It was all a lot to take in. When his other self mentioned shame for feeling something, a certain face popped into his head.

"We're going to see him again. And this time, I'm going to take what I want."

"You put a hand on him and-" Eddie stopped himself. Not only did he feel pretty powerless here, he was never that good at restraining his own actions. "You touch him and he'll kick your ass."

---------------------

After his little stunt, Eddie/Kas found themselves tied up again, this time in Steve's garage. And this time with chains (duct tape boys? really?). Nancy also made sure his legs were chained to the chair and had a shotgun trained on him the whole time they talked.

"We're all sure he's real?", she asked, nudging his cheek with her barrel. She was the only one here to actually experience Vecna's illusions besides Max. She knew how convincing they could be.

"He's real", Jonathan said, a lighter ready just in case. "Steve and the others said so."

Nancy rifled through all the information she got when she received the code red. Something that looked like Eddie had returned. But it was very obviously NOT Eddie. Stronger, faster, more durable. And apparently was receiving orders directly from Vecna. He also apparently had a craving for flesh, having busted into the meat locker of a deli before being found.

"What's your game this time? Use our friend's face to trick us?", she questioned.

"Heh, it really warms our heart that you call us 'friend'. Guess quality time over quantity, huh?" He was smiling, like none of this was a threat to him. Knowing creatures of the Upside Down, it would take more than one bullet, but Nancy had plenty.

"I believe I laid down my terms with the others pretty clearly. I'll follow your rules, so long as Steve is the one to watch me."

"Why Steve?", Jonathan asked.

Kas grinned at him. "Steve's my favorite."

"Oh my god, shut up, shut up, shut up", Eddie lamented from their shared mental space.

While Nancy and Jonathan were handling that situation in the garage, Steve was trying to get a grip on what was happening in his house. They were practically running up the walls.

"Steve you don't understand!", Dustin exclaimed. "This is huge!"

"I don't see how a monster posing as Eddie is huge?"

"But they're not just posing. It IS Eddie", Mike said.

"We don't know that. Not until Nancy confirms it."

Will rolled his eyes. "Oh like she'd know. She talked to Eddie for what? A day?"

"Cut the sass. And if you can talk, you can move your hands." Steve handed Will the knife and pushed some peppers his way.

"The point is WE, you know the people who actually hung out with Eddie would know him better. We should be the ones interrogating him", Lucas said, actually doing his duty of buttering a casserole dish.

"The other point is we don't NEED to question him because we already know that it's actually Eddie", Dustin said. "Vecna wouldn't know who Kas is. Eddie's in there. And he's telling us that he's on our side."

"You remember what Max told us, right? Vecna gets in your head. He sees what you see, knows what you know." Steve took the dish from Lucas and poured some rice into it. "If he got to Eddie, then he knows what Eddie knows." When Will finished dicing, Steve took the knife and was about to wash it under running water when he heard someone approach.

"Is Mama Steve making dinner?"

Steve reacted first and thought second and the knife flew threw the air. Kas caught it easily and twirled the knife in his hand.

"Nice aim. Lemme guess, little league?"

Nancy and Jonathan were right behind him. Steve wanted to respond. Maybe ask 'what the hell? why isn't he tied up? Nancy where's your gun?' But the kids got to it first.

"Tell us everything!" Mike demanded.

Dustin started rallying off questions. "Are you actually Eddie? Just enhanced? Or like a split personality? Is it one that came naturally or one Vecna implanted? Is Eddie like inside of you? Can he come out?"

"All in due time", Kas said, walking by them all to get to Steve, who once again looked like a deer with a car coming straight on.

"We struck a deal, princess. Looks like we're roomies."

There was still at least a foot separating them yet Steve felt boxed in. It was the same sensation he got whenever Eddie talked to him and only him, but intensified.

"Umm, hope you like chicken and rice?"

Internally, Eddie was falling to his knees. Steve's cooking, Steve in the process of cooking, with his little chickadees orbiting him. It was a domestic scene too much for his pining heart and he was actually glad right now that he wasn't holding the reins. Falling to his knees for chicken and rice wasn't the best look for a metalhead.

"Eddie would love some", Kas said cooly.

--------------------------

Dinner was an odd affair. All of them trying to figure out Kas in their own way. Dustin and Mike with their blatant questions, Lucas telling them to cool it, Nancy with her more subtle line of questioning, Will trying to see if he could feel anything, and Jonathan trying to see if Will was effected.

Steve was the only one pointedly trying to ignore the man which was very difficult given that he was doing everything in his power to get his attention. His favorite move seemed to be nudging Steve's foot with his own, causing Steve to bump his knee against the table at least three times.

Eddie wanted to roll into a hole and die. He especially wanted to do so when Kas started eyeing Steve's leg, because he knew what was coming.

"No, absolutely not. He let you get away with this much. But he will rip of your hand for this", Eddie said.

"I think he'd let us get away with much more." So Kas went ahead and put his hand on Steve's thigh, making him jolt up from his chair.

So yeah, quite the interesting dinner.

After eating, they figured out a rotation schedule for watching him. Technically Steve was only on the schedule for six hours a day. But considering Kas would be at his house the entire time, they'd be spending a lot more time together.

The rest of them were getting ready to leave so that they could check in with the others, but Nancy hung back to talk to Steve semi-privately.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

Steve glanced at the mysterious figure that was masquerading as Eddie, who was openly leering at him while ignoring the children.

"I'll be..uh, I can hang in there Nance, don't worry."

Then everyone else left, leaving the two of them alone. Steve felt a little like caged prey. But he also felt like this version of Eddie wouldn't hurt him. Not physically at least. But that left other things to do to him and Steve was afraid to go down that rabbit hole of possibilities.

"It's just you and me, Steve."

Part 3A More plotty, fluffy, bit of angst

Part 3B Less plotty, more smutty

Tag team:

@jestyzesty

@mightbeasleep

@findafight

@spooky-mulders

[pointycorgiears]

Been thinking about Crocodile and his wani obsession collection, so here's an excerpt from my most recent fic (guest-starring Dragon):

~~~~

There was a rustling in the shrubs behind them as they observed the pond. Dragon turned to look and his breath hitched as a massive form emerged from the forest with a hiss and a mouthful of dagger-like teeth. His hand slowly reached out to touch Crocodile on the arm.

Crocodile glanced at him and smirked from the wide shock in his eyes. "Heh, don't worry about it. That's just Berry Whip."

Dragon stared at him, incredulous as if the use of a name would just explain everything. He eyed the huge, pink wani again as it made its way closer to them. There was a crest shaped like a strawberry on its head, explaining the bright, rosy magenta color. It aligned its long maw with Crocodile's right hand, nudging him softly with its snout and lifting his arm up over its teeth. Crocodile gave a hard scratch on the scales of its face and the creature gave a rumbling purr-growl in return.

"This is...a pet?" a perplexed Dragon asked.

"This is the float matriarch," Crocodile replied, and Dragon couldn't believe the grin on his face as he spoke. "She's in charge of the lake, the whole island really. She helps with the hatchlings, teaches them how swim and hunt. If they sink to the bottom, she pushes them back to the surface or lets them sit in her mouth til they figure it out."

"That's...amazing," Dragon said as he watched Crocodile continue to run his only hand dangerously close to the enormous teeth. He became aware of the bright yellow eyeball, level with Crocodile's shoulder, watching him intently. He tried not to look at it directly. "She appears to be quite docile."

"She's my little gal," Crocodile said happily.

Dragon raised his brow. "Little?"

"I found her right after the battle at Marineford. She was a runt that got lost from her float. Kept her in my coat pocket everywhere Daz and I went. She started growing once we got settled down here. Now she's the boss. Aren't you, Berry?"

Crocodile scratched the wani right above her lip. He held her lower jaw with his hook as her mouth opened wide, allowing him to inspect her teeth. A full grown man could have laid flat on his back on her tongue and still have room to move around. A loud rumble emanated from deep in the abyss-like throat and Dragon subconsciously stepped back.

Crocodile laughed as he sensed Dragon's apprehension behind him. "Don't worry, she's friendly! She's just saying hello. She won't bother you as long as you have my scent."

"I see."

The large mouth closed, rows of teeth joining seamlessly together in one soft chomp. Crocodile scratched the wani's head, leaning over her eye and planting a firm kiss on the scaly ridge leading to her crest. The yellow eye slowly blinked and Dragon swore he saw the corner of her mouth turn upward in a smile.

~~~~

Fun fact: Berry Whip got her name from a Snickers bar.

You can read my dragodile fic here.

[shares-a-vest]

Robin and Dustin fight for the passenger door as Eddie pops in the back, scoffing and slamming the door.

"Hey, hey!" Steve yells, leaning over the console to open the door himself.

"Steve! Make him stop!" Robin demands, voice shrill as she squishes her grocery bag up against the door so she can't free up her hands to playfully slap-fight Dustin.

"Jesus Christ," Eddie curses.

Steve hears the unmistakable sound of a can opening in the back and he rolls his eyes. Eddie promised he wouldn't buy beer or whatever soda it is he's obsessing over this week.

Robin knocks Dustin's signature hat off and he screeches.

"Stop!" Steve begs, attempting to move over further but his seatbelt yanks him back. "Robin gets shotgun!"

The duo outside pauses. Robin pokes her tongue out and follows up with a childish gaffaw. The pair stand in silence, glaring at each other until Dustin snatches away the grocery bag.

Robin scrambles into the car, clips in her seatbelt and manually locks her door in one fluid motion.

"You do realise you waste time every single day with this?" Eddie says as Dustin hops in the back and slaps his baseball cap back on.

"Robin has been shotgun all week!" Dustin shoots back.

Can no one excerise any volume control in this car!

Steve shoots Robin a disapproving look as he fires up the engine. There's a crinkling of the grocery bag and Steve looks in the rear vision mirror but he can't quite see what Dustin and Eddie are clambering for.

"Starting next week, I'm making a schedule that everyone will follow. No exceptions."

"What if it's an emergency?" Robin asks, tenting her fingers like it's the most obvious follow up question.

"I reeeeefuse to sit in the back with Mike, Lucas and Henderson all stinking up the car after school," Eddie so helpfully adds.

"Hey!" Dustin whines, moving the bag away from Eddie.

There's more rustling and crinkling, followed by loud chewing.

"Yeah," Robin agrees, reaching in the back. "I agree on that one."

"Hey!"

"I'll figure it out!" Steve snaps, waving his hand as of to wave away the endless mitigating factors these idiots will surely conjure up of he doesn't stop them.

He looks over to his best friend, tinkling the foil back on a god damn Easter egg before shoving it into her mouth. She gags.

"Ew! This chocolate is awful, Eddie!"

"No it isn't."

Steve does a double take.

"Wait, did I send you three into the grocery store with a clear and organised list, only for you to buy Easter eggs!"

"I also bought beer," Eddie clarifies, belching.

"I mean, pretty much," Dustin shrugs, opening a packet of crisps.

"A weekend of nothing but junk food then?" Steve asks.

Although he doesn't know why he's bothering. This is what he gets for trying to assign errands.

He looks at Robin, so annoyed that he feels like his eyes are going to pop out of his skull.

"Did you get something for me to make for dinner, at the every least, Robs?"

"I don't do vegetables," Eddie chimes, again not helping.

This is what he gets for expecting his boyfriend to just automatically back him up in the face of Robin and Dustin being the most annoying versions of themselves.

He turns a corner into the main road of Loch Nora and hears the distinct sound of liquid dripping on the floor.

"Oops," Eddie mumbles.

Okay yeah, he's just as annoying as the other two.

"Can't we get pizza?" Dustin asks, jostling Robin's seat enough that she lazily slaps at the brim of his hat, threatening to knock it off again.

"I promised Claudia I wouldn't just feed you junk all weekend."

"But pizza has vegetables!" he argues.

"Technically Henderson is correct, there, Steve-o," Robin adds.

And for the first time this afternoon, the pair agree on something... They both nod.

"I could go for pizza," Eddie wonders aloud. "Pepperoni. No vegetables in sight!"

He leans forward and chomps the last word directly into Steve's ear, retreating with a giggle.

"Trust me," Steve begins, making sure to catch Eddie's eye in the rearview mirror and of course, he's grinning like an idiot. "You get your serving of vegetables."

A silence promptly falls over the Beemer.

Robin stifles a laugh, Eddie blushes scarlet and Dustin leans into the front cabin, eyebrows raised sky-high.

Dear god, that isn't what he meant.

"I sneak vegetables into Eddie's food!" he insists, shrugging.

"What!" Eddie screams so loud Steve almost swerves off the road mere seconds from his driveway.

[dystopicjumpsuit]

Hi DJ! If you’re still taking first kiss prompts, I was thinking something with “an accidental first kiss” with Mayday could be fun? I could see him freaking out at first and then totally going back for a second one once he realizes there’s feelings involved.

And if you don’t have time to get to this no worries! I hope you’re doing well 🤗 🙏🏻

A/N: Thanks for the ask @lightwise! This inspired me immediately, and I’ve been chomping at the bit to get to it!

Pairing: Commander Mayday x Reader (GN) 

Rating: T but minors DNI as always

Wordcount: 629

Warnings and tags: fluff; sympathetic embarrassment

Summary: You accidentally kiss Mayday. Things go better than expected. Also, if you love the idea of accidentally kissing Mayday, be sure to check out @moonlightwarriorqueen’s response to a similar ask!

Masterlist | Sign up for my tag list

You rubbed your eyes, trying to clear your vision—blurred from exhaustion and overwork—as you stared at your datapad. You were up to your ass in paperwork and preparations for the 77th Heavy Brigade’s deployment to the Outer Rim sieges, and you were barely halfway through. All around you, troopers, droids, and GAR personnel hustled through the cargo bay, stacking crates, calling out orders and occasional curses, and generally making an unholy ruckus.

You had just ticked three more crates off the cargo manifest on your datapad when you felt a light tap on your shoulder. Startled, you turned to see the brigade’s commander himself, carrying a ration bar and looking far more handsome than he had any right to when you knew he’d been working just as hard or harder than you had. His beard was freshly trimmed, and his long hair was just as tempting as ever, making your fingers itch to thread through it.

“Mayday,” you gasped. “I didn’t even hear you.”

He smiled. “Didn’t mean to startle you. Thought you might need this.”

He handed you the ration bar, and you accepted it gratefully, realizing you hadn’t eaten all day.

“Ugh, you’re the best,” you said, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.

“Commander!” a trooper called, drawing his attention, and he turned his head just in time for your lips to collide directly with his.

You both froze, eyes wide as you stared at each other, lips still pressed together.

“Uh, never mind, it can wait,” the trooper said, scurrying away.

You stayed like that for a breath longer, paralyzed by mortification, until at last you pulled away, shielding your eyes with one hand to try to hide.

“Jeez, I’m so sorry,” you mumbled. “That was—I didn’t mean—”

Mayday let out an awkward, strained chuckle. “That’s all right. It was just an accident.”

“Uh-huh,” you said, still refusing to meet his eyes.

He paused. “Hey… It was an accident… Right?”

“Yeah!” you said, your voice coming out in an unconvincing squeak. “I definitely didn’t want it to happen like that…”

You turned back to your datapad, desperately hoping that he would take the hint and just go away, leaving you to die of embarrassment in peace.

He paused. “But you did want it to happen?”

You dropped your head to peer more closely at the cargo manifest, muttering something indistinctly under your breath. Mayday glanced around the cargo bay, then took you gently by the wrist and tugged you behind a stack of crates, shielding you from view of the bustling crowd. His fingertips ghosted along your jaw, softly tilting your face toward his.

“Did you want it?” he murmured.

Unable to hide behind your datapad any longer, you forced yourself to meet his eyes, knowing that he’d see the truth in your expression. 

“M—Mayday… I…” You swallowed, then whispered, “Yes.”

He trailed his fingers down your throat, then slid his strong, warm hand to the back of your neck and slowly pulled you closer. His lips were so soft as he kissed you—soft enough to surprise you, even though you’d already felt them beneath your own. You drew in a soft, shuddering breath as your eyes drifted closed. Distantly, you heard the clatter of your ration bar and datapad as you dropped them to the durasteel floor, leaving your hands free to slide around his body as his tongue brushed over your lips.

The kiss ended far sooner than you would have preferred, but Mayday still held you in his arms, gazing down at you with an awestruck expression.

“Kriff,” he breathed. “We should do that again.”

You nodded enthusiastically, tangling your fingers in his hair the way you’d wanted to for so many months and pulling his face back to yours. “Absolutely.”

[walli3darl1ng]

Hello me again! Okay so I want to ask for a possible PT 2 of the enderman gn reader?

I'll give ideas for you!

Okay let's say wally has this bully in the neighborhood and one day the bully was getting physical, pushing wally into a tree in the forest

He silently calls for reader in his mind...

And all of a sudden they hear the loudest streak they ever heard and staticky sound sort of like what the enderman sound makes when looked at in the game and they just see reader mad with her mouth like almost wide open eyes glowing purple with anger ready to pounce,

But of course the bully runs away before reader could do anything, like they would anyway it's just a thread...

...

right?

From: a new friend 🌛 aka moon

To you💖

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONEEE

I’ve been wAiTIng for this one like i just- okay just enjoy 😚

It’s been some time after the colorful neighborhood was met with a very tall and grey scaled ender-person! And everyone is so happy to have you around.

You would help out with pretty much everything. Bring dirt blocks for projects, help with repairs, reaching fruit on trees, you were a big help!

Out of all the neighbors, Wally is the one that spends most time with you. You two are Inseparable, one will not be seen without the other.

Today, you were helping Sally decorate her stage, holding her up so she could hang some last minute decorations. “There! Oh, this is so exciting, isn’t it, Y/n?”

You purr excitedly and smile, setting Sally down as Julie, Frank and Eddie come over with the last added touches and snacks.

“Now it’s time for everyone to come over!” Julie cheers, setting the plate of cutely cut up fruits. “Where’s Wally?”

“He wanted to get some apples from his apple tree him and Y/n planted.” You nod along with Barnaby.

‘…he..lp…Y…/n..’

Suddenly you hear something and look towards it’s directly; the forest. Your ears ring out as you focus on it, getting bad energy you attract twitching.

‘Y/n..help..me’

“Y/n! Stop it!” You didn’t realize that the space around you was glitching and shifting along with an ear-booming static sound. You ignore them, that’s Wally’s voice you’re hearing, he’s in trouble!

———with Wally———

“You’re pathetic, nothing without your pet.” Wally flinches at every word like a stab to his body, backing up while holding the two apples he was gonna share with you. But his unlikely friend thinks otherwise.

“I don’t understand, why are you doing this?” Wally tried to be nice, he is nice, so why are they being so mean to him? Was it something he did? “You still haven’t told me what i did to hurt you?”

“Ugh! You’re so annoying!” They push Wally back into the big tree, making him trip and fall back. “How about that? That’s what you did to hurt me; being annoying.”

Wally can’t show weakness. He needs to stay strong, he can’t show that they get to him. He did nothing wrong so he won’t apologize. He did nothing. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt him, the words and the shove.

Wally sees the bully retreat their hand back for a strike but Wally shuts his eyes tightly.

‘Help me, Y/n, please..’

A loud bloodcurdling streak echos around them, making both stop and look around. Static follows and a portal like shape in mid air and two long, sharp claws wrap around the edges of the portal and you slowly come out with a snarl, static much more defined and loud now that you’re here. Wally covers his ears and watches you crawls out of the portals and stand on all fours in front of him.

The bully looks up at you with fear in his eyes as you growl a low and deep growl your eyes glowing brightly and opening your mouth inhumanly wide revealing the purple glowing abyss. The bully tries to run but you quickly took ahold of him and threw them up in the sky, flipping them over and caught they leg. Screaming at you to stop you dangle them over your mouth slowly lowering them and ignoring their pleads and trashing.

“Y/n! Stop!”

You were about to chomp down your mouth when a voice stops you, snapping your head over you see Wally holding his hand out to you to stop. Now that he has your attention, the static sound and glitching stop, he gives a small scared smile. “..drop them, okay? I’m alright, just, drop them.”

He’s scared? Of you? No..he’s not..oh no. You quickly but reluctantly drop the bully sending them one last glare as they run away.

Now your normal cute self, you crouch down and reach out for Wally but retreated your hand back when he flinches away. Is he really scared of you? Punishing you for scaring them? Isn’t that what he wanted? You cooed at him in question your big eyes looking straight at his. The fear is noticeable in his eyes. You looks down and move to sit on your knees and set your chin down at the ground as an apology you’re glowing purple eyes looking up at Wally for forgiveness.

But honestly how could anyone not run up to you and hug you? Wally slowly walks over and sets his small hand on your cheek hearing you purr and leans against his hand. That’s what did it, he sighs and hugs your cheek. “Gee, I can never stay mad at you, can I?”

He didn’t expect a response as your body is now wrapped around him protectively. He sighs again and smiles, nuzzling closer to you.

You’re his protector. And he’s not complaining.

~~~

How was that? Good? I like it. Also where have I been?! I was taking a small break hope that was okay?

Anyways I’m back I’ll finish up the actor AU and start on more request until then bye! Drink some water, turn the pillow around, stretch but not too much and eat a snack! Love you bye!!🫶🏼

[hotmessmaxpress]

Based on this post.

I stopped what I was doing to write this, and it’s not proofread or well done, but I thought it would be fun! So I wrote it.

AKA: the soulmate goose AU

The goose appears at the ranch, long necked and waiting patiently in the box for the riders to stop for the day.

They all laugh and joke, wondering who the goose is for. It makes no move toward any of them, simply cocks its head and looks between them all.

“HONK.”

Bez startles on his bike and Pecco punches him in the arm good-naturedly.

“Surely it’s for you, no? With your hopeless romantic life.”

Bez shakes his head but keeps a wary eye on the goose as they all begin the process of storing the bikes and stripping out of their dirty gear.

They all linger around the track until the sunlight starts to fade, perhaps subconsciously not wanting to see who the goose follows. The goose makes the first move, though, waddling out from under the roof of the box and taking a short flight to the waiting cars.

It lands solidly on Vale’s car, setting the car alarm off.

The first 24 hours with the Goose are fine. It flies above Vale’s car on his short drive down the street from the ranch to his home, and it waddles behind him as he parks his car and walks into his home. It sits politely outside the bathroom while he showers, and when he dries off and tugs on a pair of boxers to sleep in, the Goose makes a nest in the corner of his room with a throw blanket and an extra pillow.

The problems with the Goose begin the next morning. Vale had heard that soulmate geese take the personality of the unlucky soul they are supposed to be guiding, but he had assumed that wouldn’t be an issue.

His Goose is a pain in the ass. It squawks at him when he tries to make his coffee, just to startle him. It steals bites of his breakfast off of his plate and snaps at his ankles.

It has fucking teeth.

Vale isn’t sure if he can bring the Goose on the plane, but he can’t miss the race weekend, so he embarrassedly asks Ucchio to make sure it’s okay. He has no desire to have the Goose follow him during the race weekend, but he has read enough stories to know that trying to impede or thwart the Goose isn’t a good idea (especially with a goose as obnoxious as his).

As if sensing his thought, the Goose waddles down the private jet aisle and bites his ankle.

“Fuck!” Vale swears.

Ucchio snorts next to him, and Vale turns to glare at him. Before he can say anything, the Goose turns and snaps at his fingers where they’re resting on his armrest, chomping Uccio’s thick fingers in his tiny, sharp goose teeth.

Vale and the Goose share a satisfied look.

The Goose is an even bigger menace in the paddock. It bites a woman on the ass, to Vale’s horror, and he gets stuck signing a helmet for her in exchange for her not suing him or trying to kill his goose.

It steals a Sky sports microphone and flies above the paddock just to drop it and shatter it on the pavement. It snatches food directly from Quartararo’s hand, and Vale actually feels a pang of guilt at his sad face.

Vale draws the line when it attempts to drag Luca away from the Honda garage by his pant leg, and he has to carry a screaming, squawking Goose away to one of the VR46 motorhomes. Once inside, he sets the Goose down just long enough to tend to the bleeding wounds it has caused, and he watches with suspicion as the Goose stares at a television in the corner.

On the television is a clip of Alex Marquez in his Gresini leathers, giving an interview about qualifying ahead of the race.

The Goose is suspiciously silent, and Vale has a moment of terror at the idea that his soulmate could be Alex Marquez.

“No,” he informs the Goose. “Absolutely not.”

Vale is sure that if the Goose could growl at him it would.

When he finally leaves the motorhome, trusting that the Goose has calmed down, it follows him quietly in the direction of the VR46 garage. Vale lets his mind focus on the boys, and how Diggia and Bez have been getting along.

He makes the mistake of momentarily forgetting the Goose.

“HONK. HONK, HONK, HONK!”

The Goose spreads its wings and comes suddenly after Vale, who abandons his dignity in favor of running away from his murderous Goose. He wonders for a moment if this is actually a soulmate goose or if it is instead some sort of secret-agent goose trained to assassinate him.

He looks over his shoulder as it honks and squawks and flaps its wings, nearly reaching his ankles, and he ducks around a corner only to slam full-force into Marc Marquez.

He knocks the smaller man off balance, and they fall against the wall behind him. Marc lets out a small ‘oof,’ then seems to see who has slammed into him.

Vale watches as Marc’s eyes widen. His hands are on Vale’s sides, having grabbed him to try and steady him, and Vale’s arms bracket his shoulders.

They share a few breaths before it occurs to Vale that the Goose hasn’t yet scratched his face off. He turns, and the Goose is sitting at their feet.

It’s the most polite he’s seen the Goose since their first meeting, and he looks between the Goose and Marc.

“You’re serious?” he asks the Goose.

“Honk,” the Goose replies politely.

“Wait, is it-” Marc starts.

“Honk!” the Goose responds again, waddling over to bump its head gently against Marc’s leg.

Vale watches in shock as the Goose delivers one more swift bite to his ankle and then disappears with a ‘poof’ and a flash of feathers.

He and Marc stare at the now goose-less spot in silence, still pressed close.

“Was that a-”

“I can’t believe it-”

They both begin at the same time.

They both stop at the same time, turning to look at one another.

“That was a soulmate goose,” Marc observes.

“That was the meanest fucking goose I’ve ever met,” Vale explains. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’d like to kiss you before it comes back to peck my eyes out.”

Marc narrows his eyes.

“I’m not kissing you just so you can avoid a goose, Valentino.”

Valentino winces.

“I’m sorry. It’s been a long time since we’ve spoken. My brain is still scrambled by the Goose. Can I start over?”

Marc takes a deep breath.

“Please.”

“You look amazing in your Gresini leathers,” Vale starts, finding he means it once he starts speaking. “I am happy to see you back on a bike and ready to win, even though the thought of you winning more championships than me makes me want to disappear into the ocean forever,” he explains.

Marc opens his mouth to argue but Vale shakes his head.

“I am old, and so lonely that I got a Goose. A very, very mean Goose. That has maybe opened my eyes to some things. We can work on the things that have happened in the past. For now, I’ll watch you race.”

Marc’s eyes light up, and it melts something in Vale.

“Okay,” Marc says brightly. “You can watch me win. And you can have one kiss, but only if you promise it’s good luck.”

Vale bends his head, pressing his lips to Marc’s, and sends a silent thank-you to the homicidal Goose.

[lialox]

Constellations are vampires AU

I would like to read an ORV AU where constellations are like, vampires.

I mean, they eat stories right? They could totally chomp on incarnations.

AU headcanons:

Yoo Junghyuk is DELICIOUS. Like the sample platter of all sample platters due to the sheer amount of amazing stories he has. Like the highest quality buffet

Gourmet Association low key being a terrifying, horror-type club

Blood letting, but with story fragments

Constellations can eat other constellations' stories but it is very difficult for them to digest

Because YJK is so damn tasty, HSY and KDJ (being constellations themselves) are constantly coming up with the next Mischievous Thing to convince YJK to let them eat some of the stories

YJK, producer of the Best Meals

KDJ being wayyyy too specific in his requests for meals "I would like to eat that one scene in the 1342th regression, when you fought nebula Asgard in the plains of Valhalla, and a sun shower doused the Flames of Purgatory skill that you used and it was my favourite part in that regression and I just want to know what it tastes like"

Having your stories directly eaten by a constellation gives the incarnation their probability, so there is something they get out of it

it feels good for both parties, but incarnations will get tired from losing their stories, while constellations get energized

Featuring KDJ sitting on YJK's lap, arms wrapped around him as he has his lips pressed on the crook of his neck and quietly sucking the stories bleeding from it. He's embarrassed at how delicious it is, how good it is to consume 'Ways of Survival' in a way he's never done before. His face is hot as he tries to suppress his enjoyment.

Yoo Junghyuk's breath is heavy with effort. It's a tiring task to offer his stories.

Kim Dokja would keep moaning about how much he loves it (his story) while he's doing all this

[mysterycitrus]

How would you write the Court of Owls?

Also I am obsessed with persephone and your blog, I am chomping at the bit whenever I think of all the teasers you post about what's to come

ah ty! hopefully the finale sticks the landing hehehe

wrt court of owls - ig it really depends on what u want to achieve with the narrative. if i were to rewrite them, my priority would be stripping it of the blood libel trope, and removing their weird machiavellian plotting to create batman and robin.

the easiest fix in that regard would just be to make the talons regular ol' emotionally volatile undead, kinda like darkest night (derogatory). i already think that's an interesting dynamic - even ignoring the peanut gallery of dead parents, it could be a fun conversation of like... people who've died in gotham, and the idea of a legacy. maybe jason escaped this fate because he died in ethiopia. maybe steph escaped this fate because she was so quick to return to life. maybe some remnants of bludhaven get caught up in the crossfire. maybe bruce is forced to directly reconcile with his ghosts. maybe maybe maybe.

having talons possess autonomy that has simply been corrupted by their new state of being also allows for more interesting character beats than like... silent assassins who wear fun little hats. the owl motif is a slay, however that's really where my compliments end.

dick being a centrepoint could also be super interesting, but again - it cant be because his great great grand-icicle was a weirdo serial killer. "the gray son" being the stupidest part when his first name is dick is the most impressive thing good grief

i do also think that the idea of a maniacal secret society is done a lot more effectively in black mirror, hush or even gd batman year one tbh. there's not a lot to go on that hasn't been done a hundred times already, unless u make them realistic interpretations of the grotesquely rich. there is definitely space for that in the batman mythos rather than ghoulish phantoms in a sewer. give me more regular, normally evil oligarchs. get ollie to bully bruce about donating his money. it'd be funny.

[wwry2018]

Desire.

I was so excited, I had just gotten a phone call from my agent that I had landed my first lead role on stage. Stanley in “ a streetcar named desire” 

The role was famously played but the great and hot Marlon Brando in his prime. I was so excited , but my agent said they had one note for me. I had the acting down and I was handsome but I needed to but more manly.

Now, I’m gay but I’m not exactly prancing round. But I guess I’m not going to be cutting down trees anytime soon. Bobby is my name and acting is my game, not labour.

Masculine I needed help with. The good news is they had a coach for me, he worked with Hugh Jackman to take this song and dance man, to cigar chomping action hero.

So I head to this dodgy part of town. You know how in a horror movie they’re fog sitting around and distant animal noise and you yell RUN at the screen. This is what I was looking at but in a back ally. As I knock on the door I’m hit in the back of the head and drop to the ground.

I wake up strapped to a table, I can’t move nothing and there is a giant screen directly in front of my face. As I go to scream for help I hear a voice behind my say. Class is in session. the screen springs to life and images of rough and tough burly men are playing in succession in front of me. Truck drivers, wrestlers lumberjacks burley men, hairy men. In between words flash so quickly on the screen I barely recognise them. Like MAN. HARD. WORK. TOUGH. SMOKE. It all so quickly I don’t know what to do, I can’t close my eyes and can’t block it out.

I feel a needle in my arm, I go to wince but can’t move. My eye go back to the screen. MANS MAN. CIGAR. FIGHT. FUCK. HAIRY. MUSK. DIRT. WORK.

I feel my muscles start to tense. Like I have been at the gym for hours…..no not the gym. Working I’ve been for years. Chopping trees and working on cars. I feel my chest inflate and my legs start to chunk up. Like the tree trunks I cut down.

Man I’m thirsty, I could go a water. A water….would do nothing. I need a beer. Beer is the only thing that is gonna help this feeling.

MANS MAN. FIGHT. DRINK. SMOKE. CIGAR.Wo FUCK. FUCK HARD. WOMEN. PUSSY.

images turn from guys like me to women , naked. Big breast, hands rubbing up and down to her thick wet juicy pussy.

I feel my dick getting hard. This isn’t right I’m gay. I like cock and eating Ass, eating ……..Pussy. Hot wet Juicy pussy, having them suck my big chokeable cock.

FUCK. DRINK.FUCK.CIGAR.FUCK.WORK. FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.

Three weeks later. No one had heard from Bobby. He is due in the rehearsal room to start Streetcar to become Stanley.

The door bangs and standing there is Bob. Bobs not used to this a touchy feely stuff. He is used to working, and working hard, but when he saw what they were going to pay him to pretty much be himself on stage. He thought fuck it. He took another drag on his cigar, wiped his hands and strode into the room. Stanley was there.