#directed at my Beautiful Boyfriend who never checks his tumblr

[btsgotjams27]

All Grown Up ~ JJK | 3

✨ title: all grown up | series (completed) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: R/18+ ~ minors dni ✨ genre/au: romance, fluff, angst, friends-to-lovers, humor, banter, smut, age gap, best friends little brother ✨ warnings: noona kink, older woman, younger man, kissing, oral (m,f), unprotected intercourse, significant age gap (9 years), confident Jungkook, cocky Jungkook, bratty Jungkook, crappy mom, but overall Jungkook is the sweetest, most romantic boy who's fallen in love | warnings for each chapter will vary ✨ author's notes: I won't be updating this series on Tumblr. This fic is inspired by the k-drama, Something in the Rain. ✨ author's notes 2: okay, so i do plan on editing the rest of this series! i just don't know when it'll be done. ✨ can also read on AO3 or Wattpad

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] prev | next ✨ on set

✨ chapter three ~ jungkook, the boyfriend...? | wc : 2.6k

With the sun barely peeking out over the skyline, you were up and ready to head to work. You texted Jungkook the night before letting him know where the show would be shooting and that he could come whenever he wanted.

You checked your phone constantly that morning. It's not like you thought he'd be there first thing, so you were unsure of why you were getting your hopes up. It was getting close to lunch when you checked your phone again, wondering where he could be.

"Are you late for something...?" Sora asked as she looked in her compact while powdering her nose.

"No...why?"

"Why do you keep checking your phone?" She glared at you. She's never seen you like this before.

Geez she was nosey, couldn't she mind her own business? "No reason."

Sora, one of the main actresses on the show. Beautiful, tall, high maintenance, your typical actress. You tolerated her as best you could but you guys would butt heads whenever it came to her lines. She thought she knew better than the writer and producers. Was she a good actress? Yes, but she was a crappy human being. But if there was something she was weak for, it was a good looking man. She reeked of desperation when she saw one.

She peered over at you. "Are you dressed up for someone? You never look this nice."

You rolled your eyes at her comment. It's not that you didn't 'look nice' from time to time. You didn't have anyone to impress when you were with U-jin, not that you were trying to impress Jungkook. The linen jumpsuit hugging every curve of your figure, the soft structured leather jacket in contrast with it. Your hair pulled back into a half bun and your favorite gold fan earrings and round black glasses to complete your look.

Annoyed with her, you pretended to scribble in your notebook. "Don't you have lines to run or something?"

"Nope, I already memorized everything." She took a sip of her iced americano and something must have caught her eye because she choked a little, which made you chuckle.

I hope she chokes on more.

Sora cleared her throat and sat up in her makeup chair, "Is that a new extra or something? He's cute."

You look up to see Jungkook in a simple black tee, comfy gray hanbok pants, paired with black sandals. He’s always had a boyish charm to him, reminding you of a boy next door. He was barefaced and his hair looked extra fluffy and tousled as he walked. His entrance was something out of a tv scene you'd write. He asked someone for something before they pointed in your direction. His expression brightened by his bunny smile as his eyes met yours. He waved cheerfully coming towards you.

Sora put her Americano down. "Oh my god. Oh my god. He's coming over.” She looked in the mirror, fixing her hair. “Be cool!"

Be cool? You rolled your eyes again. Could she be any more pathetic? Jungkook was clearly attractive, you weren’t blind, but seeing Sora fawn over him before she even met him made you chuckle. The Jungkook you knew when he was a boy didn’t have the same effect as 24-year-old Jungkook.

"Hi, I'm Sora." She proceeded to say in her cutest aegyo voice. You wanted to gag.

He didn't even acknowledge her or maybe he didn't hear her. Instead, he greeted you. It was purely comical to watch Sora to flat out get rejected in front of you. What can you say? Karma’s a bitch.

"Noona," he said sweetly, grinning from ear to ear as he approached.

Clearly, trying to get Jungkook's attention, Sora cleared her throat and tried again. "Hi…" She stood there with her legs crossed at the ankles, hands behind her back, gazing at him with puppy eyes.

Jungkook peered at the woman next to you with quirked eyebrows. "Oh, hello. I'm sorry I didn't see you there."

"Seriously, I was right here," she muttered under her breath.

You softly snorted at the interaction.

“Do you two know each other?” Sora asked.

He nodded and hooked his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him, “She's my sister's best friend and my Noona.”

His Noona? Overprotective Jungkook to the rescue, claiming you as his. You pushed him away and he laughed.

“Okay, now it makes sense. I didn't think she knew people who looked like you," Sora said with a smug look on her face. She was being rude, and she knew it.

You retorted, “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing--!” Sora checked you out from head to toe, pointing at you. “Ohh...did you dress up for him?”

You scoffed. “Uh, no.” Nope, you did not dress up for him. You dressed up for yourself. There was no need to impress Jungkook. He’s seen you at your worst. You could see Jungkook trying to hold back a laugh, so you hooked your arm with his and led him away from Sora. “Let's go this way, Jungkook.”

Sora was yelling from behind, “Call me! Text me! Anything. I'm into anything. She can give you my number!”

God, could Sora be any more obvious? You needed to get Jungkook away from her as fast as you could before she spoiled the mood. You looked back to make sure you were as far away as possible from Sora. You didn't notice but you were dragging Jungkook by the hand and suddenly let go, once you caught yourself.

“Sorry about that,” you said, clearing your throat, and pushing up your glasses while straightening your jacket.

“Who is that?” he asked curiously.

“You don't know who that is?” you replied with a confused look on your face.

Jungkook shrugged nonchalantly. “Uh no. Should I? I don't watch a lot of TV.”

Well, that made sense why he didn’t give her the time of day. “That's Lee Sora, one of the most sought out actresses right now.”

From a distance, the two of you stared at her bossing around an intern trying to get something for her, typical Lee Sora behavior. He didn't look remotely impressed, so he turned his attention back to you.

“I guess...I mean if that's what people like.”

If the most sought out actress couldn’t even impress Jungkook, you wondered what made his head turn then. “Enough about Sora. Are you hungry? I was going to grab lunch, then if you're still up for it, I can show you around.”

He groaned. “I'm always hungry. What are you craving?”

“How about pizza?” you suggested.

“Is it too early for pizza and beer?” He wiggled his eyebrows and grinned.

“Seriously? Beer in the middle of the day?” You looked at him a bit weird when he included beer in your little outing.

“What?” He asked bashfully. “It's seven o'clock somewhere.”

While you were shooting near this location, you and your colleagues frequented this mom-and-pop restaurant. It was cute and quaint and you loved supporting small businesses. He looked excited, staring wide-eyed at the menu in awe. They had every kind of pizza combination a hungry 24-year-old could dream of.

“Ah! It's been a while. It's good to see you. Order whatever you like and I'll give you a discount.” The ahjussi greeted you warmly while prepping other customer’s orders.

“Thank you, Ahjussi!” you responded sheepishly.

Jungkook looked at you in amazement. “Oh wow, look at you. Famous tv writer getting all of these perks. I should go out with you more often.”

“Shut up,” you spat out, hitting him in the arm. “What do you want?”

He gently rubbed his belly, “Get me the one with Pepperoni and Kimchi.”

“Yah–who said I was paying for you?” You teased him.

“It's kind of your job because you're my Noona. You're supposed to take care of me.”

You gently shoved him as he laughed. “I'm joking. I'll pay. I make the big bucks now.”

“No, no, no. I'll pay,” you said pulling out your wallet.

“Good,” he replied with a cheeky smile.

You scoffed at him. “You’re not even gonna fight me for it?”

“Nope.”

Brat.

“But first I have to use the restroom. I had too much coffee. Order me a beer too! Kay? Thanks bye!” he said, running off down the hallway.

You shook your head. “YAH! Goodness Kook...the things I do for you.”

As you were waiting at your table for your food, you heard someone call your name. You turned around to find U-jin. A few weeks had gone by since you last saw him. The breakup between the two of you was...eventful. You threw a hairdryer and shoe at him. He deserved it after all, but you kept the ring, so you could pawn it. You smirked as you thought about it. How petty of you.

“What are you doing here?” You crossed your arms and scowled at him. Just seeing him repulsed you. You wished you dumped him a long time ago.

“Getting food, obviously.”

You clenched your jaw and rolled your eyes. “Why are you talking to me? I thought I said I never wanted to talk to you.” It took everything in you not to take off your shoe and throw it at him again.

“…Are you here by yourself?” He wondered, rubbing the back of his neck.

What does it matter to him anyway? Like he ever cared. What made him start caring now? He didn't care about anyone but himself, his needs and his wants. He stopped caring the minute he decided you weren't enough for him.

“As a matter of fact, no, I'm not. I'm here with–”

Jungkook suddenly popped out of nowhere and slipped his hand around the small of your back then to your waist, slightly squeezing it. He whispered in close, "Just play along." You nodded in agreement. You didn't understand what he meant by that.

“I'm Jungkook, her new boyfriend.” He grinned while holding his hand out for a handshake.

Your mouth slightly dropped open and quickly closed again, looking back at him wondering why he would say something like that. You cleared your throat and nodded, “Mmhm, this is my boyfriend, Jungkook.” He must have felt the heat from your skin as you were burning up, standing in between the two of them. Who knows if this little lie could get you in trouble later on.

U-jin scoffed at the two of you. “Boyfriend? Already? Couldn't wait to get rid of me huh?”

You huffed at his comment. Jungkook looked like he was ready to punch him in the face. You've never seen U-jin look at you with such disgust. It should be the other way around. Why couldn't Jungkook be your pretend boyfriend? He was probably ten times the man that U-jin was.

U-jin pointed at Jungkook. "You...You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

You let out a fake laugh. "Nope. Nope. You don't. I met him through a family friend."

He glared at Jungkook, giving him the once-over from head to toe. "Looks a little young, to be honest. Still in diapers?" He let out a chuckle over his stupid joke.

"What's wrong with dating someone younger? Didn't you cheat on me with a 20-year-old?" you curtly asked. Who was he to question who you'd want to date? It was none of his business anymore.

"Thanks for reminding me."

"Don't fucking start shit you can't finish U-jin, which is a lot things." You countered his snide comment.

Jungkook let out a stifled laugh. He clearly thought you could handle yourself.

"Can you just leave us alone? We're trying to enjoy our lunch and you're ruining it."

Jungkook mumbled, "I bet he has a small dick."

U-jin stepped closer towards Jungkook, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

He repeated himself louder, staring U-jin down, "I said no wonder you couldn't satisfy her because it looks like you have a big fat ego to compensate for your small dick."

U-jin took another step forward towards Jungkook but you blocked him. There was no way you were going to let U-jin lay a hand on Jungkook, not that he couldn't take care of himself. He definitely could.

"Step. Away. U-jin. Don't do anything you'd regret."

Jungkook clenched his fist and his jaw as he stood behind you. "I can take him."

You turned around to face the fearless boy, hand on his chest, making him back away. "Kook, I know you can but don't. He's not worth our time and energy."

"Well...it looks like you have a real keeper here."

"Number 26, your take out order is ready." The ahjussi behind the counter called out.

U-jin groaned, "Finally."

He quickly ran to the counter and grabbed his food and left. Jungkook's eyes followed him as he was trying to peek in to see the two of you. He inched closer, his lips on the shell of your ear and whispered, "He's still watching". His hands were on your waist, pulling you even closer into his big frame. Your heart began pounding rapidly being so close to him, smelling the cologne from his body, and finally U-jin was out of sight.

"Okay, he's gone."

You turned around but not before elbowing Jungkook in the stomach. He groaned not realizing how strong you were.

"Ughh--Noona, what was that for?" He exclaimed. He thought you would have been happy he saved you from your despicable ex-boyfriend.

You crossed your arms and turned away from him. "I can't believe you did that."

He grinned. "Anything for my Noona."

You were visibly upset but he didn't understand why. Maybe because this conversation added more fuel to the flame between you and U-jin. You didn't need a knight in shining armor to rescue you. You weren't a goddamn damsel in distress even though you were giving off the appearance of one. The thing was, you didn't need a man. You were swearing them off...for now.

The pizza and beer arrived at your table and you grabbed a slice and ate in silence, staring out the window, watching people as they passed by.

"Noona, I'm sorry. It was just a joke. I wanted to make him jealous."

You quickly glared at him and continued to eat.

"Noona, are you really going to give me the silent treatment right now?"

Nothing. You were still mad.

"Okay, fine."

He grabbed a slice and took a bite. The cheese on his slice wasn't breaking off and it kept getting longer as he pulled it. After a few seconds, it finally pulled apart but left a string hanging from his chin. You couldn't help but laugh.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

You gestured where it was but he kept missing it. You reached over the table to grab the little piece of cheese hanging on.

He chuckled, "Thanks...Will you please tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I think I just wasn't expecting to see him and then when you said you were my boyfriend, that took me by surprise, and I could see how upset U-jin was getting, and I didn't want to add more fuel to the flame between him and I."

"Ah, I get it and I'm sorry. I promise I won't do anything like that again, but just to let you know, I could have taken him."

You were amused. "I know. U-jin could never beat you in a fight. You clearly work out and he can barely lift a box."

He straightened his posture and held his head high, trying to show off. "I exercise every day and I box."

"Okay, Superman. No need to impress me."

"I prefer Ironman," he stated.

You took a sip of your beer as he continued to focus on your every move.

"Noona, you can do way better than that guy."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"You were right though. He did have a small dick."

The two of you laughed and continued to chow down on your pizza and beer.

✨ previous chapter ~ walk me home

✨ next chapter ~ on set

[andrea-lyn]

The Recs (Less Travelled)

I’m excited to bring you the first installment of my ‘roads less travelled’ recs! I will be doing another round of this, probably once the Ted Lasso fic tag hits about 25 pages, and then I’ll also grab a couple more fandoms to collect in there! 

The Rules:

Each fandom/pairing was sorted on Archive of Our Own by completed works. Anything recced here was not in the first ten pages when sorted by kudos at the time of reccing. There may be some more well-known authors on this list, but the specific fics I’ve picked are ones that didn’t crack that top ten or just didn’t get much traction and I think deserve it, so hopefully I have also balanced it out with other under the radar (and still great!) works. As ever, I have a pinned post of my other recs (none have been duplicated from there), so you can also check those out! Under the cut you’ll find 10 recs in each fandom for:

Raven Cycle

Roswell New Mexico

The Old Guard

Inception

Star Trek (mainly Kirk/McCoy)

The Raven Cycle

savor all the little pieces by littlelionvanz

“Since when do you garden?”

Ronan snorted, “Since I grew up on a fucking farm, genius. Jesus who gave you permission to pursue higher education.”

the old grip of the familiar by littleseal

"There is a single black feather and a printed out picture of Gansey, Blue and Cheng standing in front of some fucking monument Ronan didn’t care enough to remember the name of. Gansey sent it to Ronan’s phone some time ago, but it sat in his messages until Adam picked it up and grinned at it so hard that, one afternoon later, Ronan cursed and kicked and glared his old printer back to life in order to print it out.

Fuck, he thinks, I’m in love with a hoarder."

Adam collects things. Ronan is in love with him.

No Sweeter Innocence Than Our Gentle Sin by gansey_is_our_king

Ronan Lynch has wanted to kiss Adam Parrish for a long time.

(alternately titled: four times that Ronan could have kissed Adam)

Cheers to Another Seven Years! by skyermirth

Adam left Henrietta for Harvard and never returned. Now, seven years has passed, and an unexpected work assignment has brought him back to a place and people he hardly recognizes.

Row, row, row your boat by emmerrr

“What. Why are you smiling at me,” he says suspiciously.

Adam shrugs. “You’re cute.”

“I’m not cute, I’m terrifying.”

“Terrifyingly cute,” Adam says.

and now the world is ours to take / and every single move is ours to make by thatlittleblackcat

"Adam was the scientist, Ronan was the data, and Orphan Girl was the key that explained the strange outliers that Ronan presented, his previously unexplainable actions."

//

Adam sorts out his feelings, Ronan helps him, Gansey is the number one dad friend, Blue is the number one mom friend and Henry tries to make Ronan smile. Otherwise known as the story of how Orphan Girl became Opal.

All These Things You Make Me Feel by SilverOpals394

It was late. Adam could feel the long day catching up to him as he left Boyd’s, all his energy exhausted. When he started his car, the tape deck whirred to life once more. He sighed and raised his hand to turn it off, but before he did a soft melody began to play.

AU in which the mixtape Ronan made for Adam only plays the murder squash song until Adam realizes he's in love with Ronan, too.

Ways to Communicate by Jalules

Blue Sargent reflects on an early memory (and gets busy with her boyfriends.)

(The two things are related, trust me.)

Hold Me Closer, I'm Safe in Your Arms by actuallyronanlynch

“You wanna tell me why I had to hear from Henry Cheng that my boyfriend was at the hospital?” Adam hissed, though his voice wasn’t as acidic as it could’ve been. Ronan took small victories where he could.

“You don’t have a cellphone,” Ronan pointed out flatly. “It’s not like I could’ve gotten a hold of you.”

arts and crafts and the inevitability of death by sunshineinthestorm

Adam comes to the public library in search of a study spot, not a boyfriend. 

But it must be his lucky day—because he ends up with a bit of both.

 Roswell New Mexico

a conversation between insignificant others by Bellakitse

“Hey…have you noticed that our boyfriends are madly in love with each other?"

“You noticed that too, huh,” she answers dryly, letting out a huff of reluctant amusement.

***

Forrest and Maria share a drink and a conversation and start a friendship.

Own Personal Hell by BeStillMySlashyHeart

Now that Isobel's getting the hang of her telekinesis, Michael decides to test out his telepathic abilities. It backfires. Badly. Now Michael's trapped inside his own mind and only one person can break him out.

Drop the Hammer by brightloveee

Max makes a new friend at the shooting range, who turns out to be even more bad-ass than he expected.

(Takes place mid-S1)

Boys Like You by forgadgetsandgizmos

Curly, dirty blond hair (the mere description ‘curly’ felt like an injustice) twisted in every direction off his head, a sharp contrast with the scruff darkening his strong jawline and scowl-ridden face.

Alex made a mental note to compliment Maria on her excellent taste in men.

—

Or, Alex has coffee with Maria's one-night stand, a man who he definitely does not have a crush on.

let's exchange the experience by lostin_space

Michael decides they need to quarantine.

OR

Michael floods Alex with love and care over and over and over.

This Is Hardcore by Anonymous

Michael makes a proposal. Alex accepts. Michael wonders what the hell he’s gotten himself into.

i don't know what to think (but i think of supernovas) by Milzilla

michael discovers that the console can talk. then, he discovers it can do far more than that.

iridescence on skin by Lire_Casander

In a world where (almost) everyone has a tattoo on their right wrist with one set of coordinates that point to the place where their soulmate is born, Alex thought he wouldn't be any different. He couldn't be more mistaken.

He has two.

The Real Thing by elliebird

Max checks on Michael the morning after Michael saves Max’s ass from Wyatt Long and his dumbass buddies. He sees more than he’s supposed to.

Written for a Tumblr anon who one of their friends walking in on them or anyone of them finding out about Michael and Alex in an interesting way 

Sundering by romancandles 

“You know it was just an Air Force balloon, right?” says Alex.

Michael smirks. “That’s what they want you to think,” he says, with a wink.

The Old Guard

Peer Reviewed by ishandahalf

[From:] Journal of Medieval Studies (jms.eds@jms.com)

[Subject:] Ad-hoc note from the editor

I have noticed an uncommon level of animosity in your responses to your reviewers (or rather, one reviewer in particular). I am writing to ask if you would please do your best to keep your interactions civil. In fairness, I have also sent a similar request to the reviewer you seem to have this friction with. I trust you will both try and remain more professional in the future.

Again, thank you for submitting your work to this journal.

Sincerely,

James Copley, PhD

Editor-in-Chief

Journal of Medieval Studies

An (accidental) academic epistolary romance as (inadvertently) documented via a (theoretically) rigorously blinded peer review process.[citation needed]

third for a word and the song keeps going Macremae

It was honestly shaping up to be a pretty uneventful year before the Vatican got on Nicky’s bad side.

Or: three times in 2008 that the team genuinely thought about killing Nicky if only to get him to shut up about the changes to the Catholic English Mass and his unrelenting opinions on them, and one time Nile did.

Apex Predators In Island Ecosystems (Freeman et al., in press) by Sixthlight

Palaeobotany PhD student Nile Freeman and her supervisor Joe al-Kaysani are invited to billionaire Stephen Merrick’s new project – a theme park full of cloned dinosaurs. What could possibly go wrong?

This Rough Magic by Marivan

When Joe came to Scotland to study the sea, he did not expect to also encounter a beautiful man claiming that A. he’s a selkie and B. they’re married because Joe picked up his scarf.

It sounds like a fairy tale and that’s a problem. Because Joe’s a scientist. And selkies don’t exist.

Wars for the broken by Yuliares

Five years into his exile, Booker is joined by a companion he never expected to meet. Together, they try to work on healing.

Sometimes they go down to the sewers just so she can scream and scream. “I like to hear it echo,” she explains. “Underwater, you can’t hear anything. Here, at least I can be heard.”

“I don’t feel like a warrior anymore,” she tells him, throwing bread crumbs at pigeons. “I feel broken.”

“You’re still a warrior,” he says roughly. “This is still fighting.”

a good (eighth) impression by deanniker

Over the next few months, Joe runs into Nicky every so often at the farmer’s market. Some weekends Nicky doesn’t make it, because of his work schedule - Joe doesn’t understand it because he doesn’t ask, though he does start to recognize when one of those missing weekends is coming up because Nicky will stock up on things with longer shelf-life. When they do run into each other, they make small talk and move through the stalls together.

Joe doesn’t mention it to Lykon when he stops by, because it is kind of weird, that Lykon’s ex-boyfriend texts Joe things like - If you’re here, the apples look particularly good this week and thank you for that recipe, I did not know what I was going to do with that much couscous

Or,

Joe wouldn't usually consider starting anything with his best friend's ex, but as long as they keep it casual, it shouldn't be weird... right?

get back to where you once belonged by tenderjock

Nile takes a sip of her cappuccino and closes her eyes.

(Booker and Nile get that coffee. Life happens, along the way.)

a house; a home by mehm

“Is this a kidnapping?” Joe asks as Nicky checks both their seat belts. “Like, I don’t mind. It’s just not quite what I expected for my birthday.”

In which Joe gets a birthday surprise, because that’s the stuff you have time for when you and the love of your life become mortal at the same time.

the ties that bind by damaskrose

“There’s a story I heard many times,” Andy begins, “in the Mediterranean. Threads of fate and three sisters. One to spin, one to measure, and one to cut.”

Clutter And Croutons by flawedamythyst

Joe and Nicky have an argument, and then Nicky talks to Nile about what it really means to be in a relationship for 900 years.

Inception

My Big Fat Slightly Annoying Wedding by jibrailis

Arthur and Eames elope for ~tax reasons. Certain people in their lives are not happy at the lack of a wedding.

Remember Sydney by pathera

When Eames shambles into the safe house outside of London, he finds a red light blinking on the phone.

For the inception_kink prompt:

Arthur is on a plane which is about to crash. No way anyone is going to survive. Instead of panicking he calmly calls the team's office and gets the answering machine. He hangs up before the plane crashes.

Give me Arthur's last message to the team.

 (TW: Character Death / Angst)

Of Such Deceitfulness and Suavity by delires

In which emotions manifest themselves in unusual ways.

YO, K2tog (it's like a code) by lazulisong

“Oh my God,” moans Arthur. “I’ve paid less for Somnacin. Good Somnacin.” A horrible thought strikes him. “How much is the yarn --”

“I want you to have an unguarded reaction,” Eames tells him, and pulls him up from the floor.

(They run an extraction on a knitter.)

hit the ground running by orphan_account

"I travelled halfway around the world for you. I dealt with the French for you."

Valley by wldnst

It's an old story: a knight, a prince, a kingdom in peril.

If This Is Rain Let It Fall On Me and Drown Me by Brangwen

We used to be so brave, Eames thought. Of the two of them, Arthur had always been the more fearless.

a gentle familiarity by jollypuppet

Two weeks later, Eames is on his doorstep with bad Italian takeout and a grin, and Arthur tells him he can sleep on the couch.

Your Crisis Cannot Be Completed As Dialed by sevenimpossiblethings

Arthur doesn't do snow, Ariadne is determined to be as Midwestern as possible, and blizzards make cell phone service unreliable.

Let’s Say I Do (I Do) by xsilverdreamsx

There were, perhaps some things worse that this, Arthur thinks, as he glares at the letter in his hand with his name printed clearly in bold ink, indicating his presence in two weeks for his esteemed marriage to one William H. Eames, III, at St. Catherine's Church in London, England.

Star Trek (predominantly Kirk/McCoy)

Show the World That Something Good Can Work by knune

Leonard McCoy is a doctor, not a personal assistant, and maybe that's why he can't stand working for Jim Kirk.

It's in the little things by winterover

Bones is bemused by a persistent secret admirer.

"Wedding" Away with It by pendrogon

One morning, Bones wakes up and he's single. By the same afternoon, he's married to Jim Kirk for Arbitrary Fic Reasons(TM).

How Long Will You Stay (For Your Whole Life) by withthepilot

Jim Kirk, deputy director of the Enterprise parks and recreation department, sees all of his hard work fall to pieces when budget specialist Leonard McCoy arrives from the state capital to cut Jim's budget and threaten the livelihoods of his colleagues. But thanks to a major parks project, Leonard finds a place in the department, as well as in Jim's life—and when all is said and done, Jim doesn't want him to leave.

All-Time Favorite by mardia

What to do when your best friend suddenly starts making new friends. 

Joy Ride by Cards_Slash

While running for their lives from an alien species Kirk had accidentally enraged, they come across a car. And well, if you were to come across a car while being chased by aliens that wanted you dead, and you possessed some lingering knowledge of how to drive a car similar to said car, you would have decided to drive it toward the nearest cliff too.

Also a gunfight.

Syncytia by epistolic

He’d signed up for Starfleet on an impulse, but Starfleet meant James Tiberius Kirk: the first – and second, and third, and fourth – big mistake of Leonard McCoy’s life.

Renovation by canistakahari

Jim has a whammy put on him by an alien death ray and he suddenly craves domesticity. He's crazy with longing to shop at space!Ikea and get potted bamboo and he starts looking into adopting AND HE HATES HIMSELF AND CANNOT CONTROL THE SHIT. Luckily, McCoy is drunk all the time and plays house.

17:08 by butterflycell

She'd watched the news holos with a sick feeling, searching for information that was completely obvious in its absence. Amidst the reports of the the Enterprise's miraculous recovery and the damages sustained, there had been next to nothing about the crew or her captain. Jim had been mentioned only in passing, his name shied away from as his first officer limited interaction to the bare essentials.

The Honey of Hybla by shrift

"Bones, prepare to be my date."

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Found (Outside the Screen) (CC!Dream x GN!Reader) Part 2

Request: That dream angst fuckin wrecked my heart..any chance for a part 2 with comfort(im not the og requester so if not thats fine its just OUGH my heart)

I have written this three times over because tumblr didn’t save it. THEN. Tumblr doesn’t show it to ANYONE unless they check my account. This happened to my Ranboo fic as well... I will honestly cry if no one sees this.

Once again. This is a completely fictitious story and version of Clay.

TW: Panic attacks, self deprecating thoughts,

"(Y/n)!"

His voice echoed through the house as you scrambled around corners to escape the possible wrath of your boyfriend. Or maybe even soon to be ex boyfriend.

Despite living in this house with him for a little over two years, it was beginning to feel like a maze. You couldn't tell which way was left and which way was right, your head spinning with panic as you gasped for breath.

He's gonna find you...

The house wasn't even that big, and quite an open concept, so you had no idea why you were finding it so confusing. All you knew at the moment was...

Get out.

Once your eyes landed on the door that lead out, you made a beeline towards it and flung it open. Maybe you should've known better than to attempt to run from the manhunt god...

The footsteps pounding against the floor not too far behind you startled you enough to jump outside and slam the door behind you in hopes of giving yourself enough time to run farther.

There were plenty of things failing to register in your mind as you ran down the empty sidewalks. Such as the poor choice (or lack) of shoes you were wearing, or even the heavy night rain pelting down on your shaking body.

Your lungs were burning.. But your brain had thrown itself so far into fight or flight mode that you had no care for anything around you, hardly blinking twice as the signs of unfamiliar street names flew past you.

Eventually, when you physically couldn't breathe any longer, you sat on a bench and took awhile to think. The consistent rain pelting down on your head was actually a decent grounder to help you snap yourself out of it... But that only caused more confusion and another wave of panic to wash over you.

Where... were you?

Doesn't matter. Don't go back.

Oh God... He hates you..

Why wouldn't he..?

He was too embarrassed to show you to his chat!

What did you do that was so embarrassing?

God.. What was so wrong with you that he stayed in his streaming room for days on end!?

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you choked back a few sobs, trying your best to keep what was left of your composure. Very quickly, however, you gave up on trying to hold yourself together and broke down, hiding your face in your knees.

Time seemed to pass by way too quickly but also way too slowly at the same time.. Like time itself was giving you the one finger salute. When you finally stopped crying, you leaned back against the back of the bench and gave a shaky sigh before you decided to attempt to think rationally again.

You had no clue where you were. Nothing looked familiar. What time is it? No clue, you don't have your... Your phone!

You quickly scrambled to your pocket to pull out the cellular device, and stared at the black screen for a few seconds. Anxiety was the reason for your hesitance as you stared into your reflection, frowning slightly. Without thinking twice, you pressed the button and the screen lit up with various arrays of colours.

78 Missed calls from Clay💚

2 Missed calls from George👓🇬🇧

7 Missed calls from Sapnap🔥

Was... He so mad that his friends were trying to yell at you too? You tilted your head slightly and scrolled through the other notifications on your lockscreen.

Twitter seemed to be losing their minds over your boyfriend's stream and wondering who the stranger was. Seeing the headlines flooded you with immeasurable guilt and you almost put your phone down again, if your phone didn't start buzzing.

You glanced down at the screen and say Clay was making call number 79... Man, he was persistent.. and he would probably continue to call until you answered...

Your finger hovered over the decline button, before slowly moving over and landing on the green one instead. "...Hello...?"

"(Y/n)...?" Had... He been crying...? "Oh my god! You're alive!" He gasped out with glee before giving a few sobs of... relief...?

"...You... Aren't... Mad?" You whispered very softly and hesitantly, your voice scratchy and sore from crying.

He sighed and there was a little bit of shuffling as well as a few male voices in the background. "No. Not in the slightest... Where are you? I want to apologize in person.. And when it doesn't sound like you're in a hurricane.."

You lifted your head up to look at the rain that was continuing to pelt down on you before looking around. "..I'm not sure.." You heard your partner echo your statement in question form as you looked for street signs through the rain. Glancing back at your phone, you saw the screen light up again, this time it was a warning label.

Your battery was almost dead...

"C-Clay.. My phone is going to die.." You murmured softly, your heart filling with dread as you turned down your brightness and closed any unnecessary apps.

There was a little bit of clattering and shuffling on the line as Clay hurriedly walked from the windows to the door, trying to see you from the home. "G-give me landmarks! Hurry!" He practically begged as you shot up from your bench, ignoring the burning soreness in your legs.

Spinning around quickly, you began listing off a few company buildings you saw, trying to shout over the rain and a few cars driving by. "Yeah-yeah! There's also that little sushi place beside the restaurant too.."

You heard the furious typing of his computer before another almost sob of relief. "You're on Rosewood Avenue... How the hell did you run that far? Okay, you're going to walk in the opposite direction of the sushi place until you reach a road called Miller Road, got that?" He waited for a verbal noise of agreement before continuing, "Once you get there, turn left and keep walking straight until you get to a steakhouse. I'll meet you half way, if you don't see me there, don't move unless you have to. Got it?" He asked firmly, with a small hint of desperation in his tone.

You rubbed your face as you mentally repeated the directions to yourself. "Yeah.. Yeah.. I got it." You began to walk along the sidewalks, your shoulders beginning to tremble from the water induced shivers trailing up and down your spine.

"..(Y/n)?"

"Yeah?"

"I lov-"

Your phone died..

Pulling the device away from your head, you pressed the buttons a few times before groaning and shoving it into your pockets as you began to walk.

Your mind was blurry but also hyper aware along the walk to the road where Clay told you to go. 'What was he going to say? If... He doesn't hate me... was he going to say- No.. no. He hadn't said that line in over a few months now.. No reason why he would say it now..' You mentally scolded yourself.

The rain didn't seem to be too keen on letting up as you walked through large rippling puddles. Your clothes were soaked, your hair completely drenched and you were pretty sure you were gonna need to buy a new phone with how much your current one was getting waterlogged..

You rose your arm to shield your face from the onslaught of water that a car had caused by driving through a large puddle before running your hand down your face.

Part of you was still a bit.. angry... at Clay... He had ignored you for so long and wanted nothing to do with you.. Then suddenly you spill hot coffee on yourself and then boom, you have the man more focused than when he has a good speed run seed. What about all those times you were begging him to come to bed, or at least eat dinner at the table with you? Did you only matter when you were in pain?

Biting your lip, you shook off the thought as you looked up again to see the steakhouse that you were directed to go to, the signs glowingly and people shuffling in and out through the doors...

Then there was another man, standing under a large black umbrella wearing a damp lime green hoodie...

Only you'd recognize that face anywhere where others wouldn't.. Standing in the street lights perfectly was your boyfriend, Clay.

Your heart trembled but also melted slightly upon seeing that he wasn't paying attention to his screen anymore. You. He was focused on finding you...

As you began to walk closer, you saw him lift his head and stare at you for a few seconds before dropping the umbrella and lunge forward to wrap you in a loving embrace. "I'm sorry.." Was the first thing he whispered, his voice almost as hoarse as yours. "I know.. that a simple apology will never excuse what I put you through... You cared for me, and even after a stupidly ignored you... You still didn't leave, or get angry. I don't deserve you, I know that, and you have every right to be upset, angry or whatever you're feeling right now.. Please, it doesn't matter how long it takes... Just let me make it up to you and let me prove myself worthy of your love again.."

Your lips parted in surprise as you stared at him, the streetlight poorly capturing his normal beauty, but still doing it well enough that you felt your heart soar. "Clay..." Your eyes traced his features, his puffy and reddened eyes and his cheeks stained with tear tracks, "You have a lot to work and make up for... I'm not going to forgive you immediately, but I'm not going to leave you.. We can work things out.. Together, okay?"

He eagerly nodded and gently held your face in his hands before pressing a light kiss to your forehead. "I'll break away from video editing and streaming for a while.. So I can focus on repairing things with you.."

You buried your face into the male's sweater, that was beginning to become soaked as well from the rain and you, and closed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him.

"(Y/n)?"

"Mm..?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Clay."

[chuckbass-love]

May I request a Ransom x Y/n fic where he goes to a pub after being taken out of the will and he see's y/n at a table crying because she's just been dumped

I love this idea!! 

A/N: Just a heads up, i’m keeping the events of the movie in this where he goes back to the house to switch the medication and then have him go to the pub after that.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad or Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Lots of angst, alludes to smut at first and then pure smutty filth. Fingering, oral (m and f receiving), protected sex, daddy kink, ass slapping and fluff overload. Heavy alcohol use, swearing and alludes to murder (the plot from the movie).

Word Count: 8,770

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @roooogers go check them out💜

Shoulder To Cry On

“Please, Anthony. Please. Don’t do this” your voice shaking with the fear of losing the one person who you assumed would always be around. Your brain trying to register everything he’s just said as tears drown your vision out causing everything to go blurry. 

Weak body, silent screams and shaky hands. It’s real. But it doesn’t feel real. It feels like a dream. Like if someone were to pinch you now then you’d wake up and feel fine. But that’s far from your reality. 

“You’re making a scene Y/N, everyone’s looking” he looks around him, watching on as everyone stares in your direction, enjoying the free show as they dine. 

Is he serious? 

“Me making a scene? You chose to do this here in front of everyone, knowing full well how i’d react” the anger coming out, the need to scream consuming you, so you do. You yell. You pick the food up in front of you and throw it at him. Bread, prawns, even your red wine.

“How could you do this to me? You fucking cheating scumbag” bottom lip trembling at the words leaving your mouth, the sick feeling working its way through your body and eventually settling in the back of your throat but you stop it.

You had plans for a lovely anniversary dinner tonight. Your boyfriend of 4 years Anthony. The man you’ve always seen yourself marrying and tonight, you thought was the night. That he’d finally get down on one knee and propose. But that was soon ripped away from you the moment the starters arrived.

He started his little speech about how he’s had the best time over the last 4 years with you, the memories you’ve made together. 

Then came the moment that everyone dreads. The breakup speech. 

He confessed to not feeling as happy as he once did with you and then he admitted to having a connection with some woman at work. His assistant. Jennifer. 

And as much as he played it off like nothing happened, you’ve known him long enough now to see all of the tell tale signs. The way he rubs his ear lobe, the way he avoids your eyes and most importantly the way he stutters when he’s nervous. 

His face has guilt and cheater written all over it. Your whole world feels like it’s crumbling around you and everything is a mess. Including your mascara. 

You always had your suspicions about Jennifer but he was the perfect liar, a genius at concocting up excuses. The way he’d make your mind do a full 180 with your thoughts and feelings. Just like a magician tricking the audience. He pulled the wool right over your eyes and love enabled that, stopped you from asking all the questions that you should have thought to ask.

It’s like now, everything he ever said to you, all the happy memories and plans you made. They all seem so fake, like he never meant any of it. It’s gut wrenching. Sickening. 

He’s a beautiful liar. He did it so effortlessly. Getting into bed next to you after no doubt being with her, touching her in the places he was only ever supposed to touch you.

But before you can even get to him, the restaurant staff make their way over, trying to remove you from the scene but you don’t even give them the chance.

“I’m going. Don’t fucking touch me” you hold your hands up, slipping your coat on and grabbing your purse.

“I hope one day you’ll experience how you’ve made me feel tonight” and that’s the last thing you ever said to him, picking your stuff up to leave.

All that anger and hurt eventually brought you here, the bar right round the corner from your house. You couldn’t bare the thought of even going home right away, let alone stepping foot in there. It’s too soon. 

The house that’s jam packed with memories of the two of you. Photographs of you. The bed you’ve slept in every night with him for 2 years. Your skin itches.

That’s when you see someone sit down next to you at the bar but you don’t look. He still notices you though. Ogling you as he sips at his whiskey. The way your dress hugs your figure, the slit up the side, exposing your legs.

You hear his thick Boston accent ordering. Still refusing to turn your head. You really don’t want any bother tonight. You just need to drown him out. Drown out the way he smells, the way he touches you, the feel of his huge hands all over your skin. 

Ransom doesn’t stop though, stealing glances here and there at you, trying to figure out the perfect chat up line to dish out. Then it comes to him, no chat up lines needed.

“What’s brought a beautiful girl like you here tonight then?”

The smirk that appears on his face comes out in his words, you can hear it but you’re really not in the mood so you order another drink, ignoring the stranger. 

But the second you speak up, your voice giving your state away, causing Ransom’s head to shoot up, leaning closer to get a better look and that’s when he sees it. Your eyes that are filled with tears, the way you’re sniffles follow shortly after they fall.

“Wait, are you okay?” Genuine concern in his voice, not wanting to upset you even more by prodding too much. 

“I’m fine” you spit, just wanting to be left alone to wallow. To over evaluate everything that’s gone down tonight. But that’s kind of hard to do with this man talking non stop.

“You don’t look fine”

“That’s because i don’t need nor want anyones pity” ouch.

“Who said i was pitying you?” he rolls his eyes, not even sure on what’s turned you so cold or should he say who. But he tried. Which isn’t usually in his nature. 

See the events that lead Ransom to that little bar are slightly different to yours but nevertheless, he’s here with you so it doesn’t necessarily matter. The story should probably be told anyway though.

All was going so well in his world earlier today, he was happy as Larry, living off of his Grandfather, taking all he could get from him. He had everything. A bachelor pad that puts his friends one to shame, a beamer, scantily clad women at the click of his fingers and invitations to all the best parties in Boston. He was the most notorious playboy, everyone knows him.

The moment he stepped foot into his Grandfathers study, nothing was ever going to be same once he left. And that’s a fact. 

Harlan broke the news about his will. How he changed it recently. Leaving his nurse Marta Cabrera with everything. Every. Last. Dime. 

Meaning Ransom and his family will be pushed out of the mansion and Walt will be kicked to the curb when it came to Harlans publishing company, Blood Like Wine. 

He argued with Harlan for what felt like forever, tried his best to plead his case and he even resulted to taking a threatening tone to his beloved Grandfather. Which of course, didn’t work. Leaving him angry, furious even. His blood was well and truly boiling. He’d had it. He couldn’t hear another word of that bullshit. So he stormed out. Bidding his great nana a swift goodbye in the form of resting his hand over her arm. 

Once in his beamer, he screamed. Smacking the wheel with all of his might before stepping on it, pulling out the space and up the driveway. He had to get out of there and fast. 

But halfway up the drive, he slams on the breaks when an idea begins to form, causing him to turn around. Parking away from the mansion first before creeping his way back in. 

He climbs the wall at the side of it, up to the secret window that he discovered in his childhood. Once he’s in he finds Marta’s medical bag, opening it and switching his grandfathers meds, making sure to take out the one saving grace that could ruin his perfect plan. 

With that secured in his pocket, the bag is zipped back up and placed back where he found it and he’s leaving the same way he came. Back down the side of the house but before he can make a quick run for it, he sees his great nana in the window. Staring at him, without blinking. He waits to see if she’ll speak but she never does, so he turns to leave, making it back to his beamer without a single person catching him. Great nana doesn’t count, there’s a very slim chance that she didn’t even know it was him. After all, she didn’t say a word.

All done now though, the plan is now in full swing. Soon Marta will take Harlan up to bed to give him his medicine. That’s when she’ll give him the overdose on morphine. Or the good stuff as they like to call it. 

And eventually it’ll start to come together. 

Marta will get arrested for Harlan’s murder, the money and all of the assets that were once hers will be stripped away and they shall all be returned to their rightful owners. His family and him of course. One thing that should be made abundantly clear about Ransom is that he’ll only ever help or get involved when there’s something in it for him. However, he’s not always evil, he has a soft side, it rarely comes out but make no mistake, it’s there alright. 

With his evil plan in place, he heads back home but before he even gets there, he passes a quaint little bar at the side of the road. He could really do with a drink right now. Of course a taxi home will be required but with thousands about to grace his bank account, what’s 10 or more dollars on taxi fairs. Exactly, it’s pittance to him. 

The second he enters, all eyes are on him. All but two. Your eyes. You’re sat at the bar, head in your hands and from what he can see, you’re dressed all fancy. Too fancy for this place that’s for sure. So he makes his way over, noticing the disgusted looks out of the corner of his eye. He’s never been here before, so of course he’s the newbie to all of the regulars.

That then leads to now. 

You turn to face him, your sad eyes meeting his dreamy ones. The only way to describe them. You find yourself on the verge of getting lost before you break the gaze. Nodding towards the barman who slides another shot over to you to which you knock back like it’s nothing before continuing to sip Gin.

Just one look from you and he can see that something isn’t right. 

“What’s got you crying all on your lonesome?”

“More like who” you respond, chuckling as more tears fall.

He opens his mouth to speak but you cut him off “i had the lovely pleasure of being dumped tonight” you muster up your best fake smile, as if somehow acting like everything is okay will suddenly make it all okay for real. But it’s no use, you still feel torn to pieces. Your heart is still on the floor, it’s been stomped on way too many times for you to count on two hands and you’re life is a complete shambles.

He doesn’t love you, Y/N. He doesn’t love you anymore but then again, did he ever? 

“I’m sorry to hear that and for what it’s worth, the guys a jackass for doing that to you”

His comment has your brows furrowing in question. What does he mean by that? But you don’t even get a chance to ask, he can sense your confusion a mile away.

“I just meant that you’re gorgeous. He’s a fool” his nice side coming out to play, he’s never this nice to a woman unless he plans to sleep with her. But this time, it’s different. You’re different. He can never bring himself to pray on you like one of those other girls. Because he can see it, that you’re drained. You’ve had enough. Your ex made a fool of you enough already so who is he to add to that?

“Yeah right, he cheated so i doubt that very much” you snort, knocking back the rest of your drink.

At this point the bartender doesn’t even need you to ask for another, he’s probably realised by now that he should keep them coming. 

“What an asshole” 

Why does he care? He’s just a stranger. But still, you agree with him.

“Yup”

And just like that, a conversation blossoms. 

Drinks flow as you explain the events of tonight and he doesn’t interrupt you. He just lets you speak, it’s almost like he can sense that you just need someone to listen, like all you need is to let out all of your emotions. Even if it is to a complete stranger. 

Who by the way isn’t bad in the looks department. 

Wait. No. You can’t think that. 

Surely it’s fine to think it, just as long as you don’t act on it. Although, you are available now so there would be no harm.

“So let me get this straight. The man took you to dinner for your 4 year anniversary, let you get all dolled up, makeup, hair, nails. The works. Just to break it off with you and tell you he’s met someone else?” his brows raising and you nod, ashamed of how you’ve been treated because ultimately, you really did look like the idiot tonight.

You bought an expensive dress just for this very occasion and you did look the best you’ve ever looked. Radiant and glowing. Your makeup was on point, as was your hair. But now, you’ve got mascara everywhere and you’re way over the line of tipsy.

“I don’t get it. You’re well, you. I mean look at you and he left this for another woman? It makes no sense. There’s no way i’d ever give you up. No chance. No way” the way you feel your cheeks warm at his obvious compliment. You’re almost certain that he’s sweet talking you now. It took him a total of 2 hours. And he finally gave it a go. But you’re not complaining.

“LAST ORDERS” the bartender pulls you from your thoughts. That’s when you turn to look at him, still not knowing the perfect strangers name.

“Um, i guess i should get going” the very sentence makes that sick feeling come back but just like earlier, you push it away, stopping it before it comes spewing out on the bar. There would have been no time to run to the bathroom. 

“I guess i should too” he smiles softly, shrugging his coat on and standing up. 

That’s when the height difference is clear. He towers over you, making you feel small and dainty. 

He gestures for you to head out first and as you glance back over your shoulder, you see him sliding some money to the bartender. No doubt, he paid for all of those drinks that you forgot to even pay for. Fuck.

These heels are way too high and your vision blurs a little as you stumble out the door but before you can even fall to the ground and face plant, he catches you, lifting you up and walking you over to what looks like a taxi.

“Come on you, let’s get you home. Where’d you live?”

Your mind goes blank as you stare at him before muttering “i don’t want to go home, i can’t go home. He’ll be there. Don’t make”

He cuts you off, pulling you closer to him and giving the cabbie his address instead. Wait. His place?

“I guess i should probably tell you my name being as you’re gonna be in my house soon huh?” he chuckles, spurring your own laughing fit. 

“Do tell, mystery man” 

“Ransom”

“I don’t have any money to pay you, not that i need to anyways, just tell me your name”

“No, no. My name is Ransom” his laughter fills your ears.

Strange name. Strange man.

“Surely not” 

“Sure is. Well technically it’s my middle name. But i really can’t reveal anymore than that”

“Well i’m Y/N by the way and can i just say, you smell amazing” ah, the part where you make an utter show of yourself by leaning closer and closer, until your face is inches from his neck. That’s when you inhale really dramatically. Getting a good whiff of his manly scent. It’s intoxicating.

Luckily for you, he takes it all in good humour, probably because you’re drunk. 

The rest of the ride back to his consists of you getting overly touchy, making random comments and with Ransom being the playboy that he is, it’s a real struggle for him not to fuck you here and now. Even in front of the cabbie. It wouldn’t be the worst place he’s fucked.

Yes you’re drunk but your hands are roaming to places they shouldn’t be and now he can feel a situation forming in the shape of a huge hard on.

Not that you notice, you’re too wrapped up in your own drunken state, blissfully unaware.

He can’t fuck you anyway. You’re too drunk. He’ll have to sober you up first.

The taxi comes to a halt and you look out of the windows, noticing a huge house, too posh for the likes of you but clearly fitting for a man like Ransom. He pays the cabbie before getting out. 

You sit there clueless until you feel him scoop you up in his arms. He kicks the the door shut, walking the both of you to his house. He fiddles around in his pocket, holding you up with one arm so that he can open it and put you down on the couch.

“Is this your place?” 

“It is indeed”

“It’s so big”

He lays you down, pointing his index finger in your face as he warns you “stay here, okay? Don’t move”

The child in you starts to emerge, the pout and puppy dog eyes coming out “yes sir”. You salute him and watch him strut away. 

When he returns, his coat is off and he’s just in his white shirt, grey cardigan and his slacks.

“Here, drink this, it’ll help”

“Ew what is this?” your face screws up, disgusted at the taste “are you trying to poison me?”

“It’s just water, don’t be so dramatic. Drink it”

“What if i wanted another drink” 

He just shakes his head disapprovingly. You’re really having none of it and he can’t fuck you like this. He makes it his mission to make sure all the women he’s with can actually remember what’s going on. Plus he needs your consent first. 

“Drink. I won’t tell you again” his scary side showing just a tad but he soon shuts that off, realising how bossy and intimidating he sounds “wait, sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you”

Shouting and confrontation has always scared you. You’ve always had this natural instinct to cower and hide. 

But this time, all you can really do is back up, to the other end of the couch.

“You’re just really drunk and it’s not doing you any good. Especially with everything that you’ve gone through tonight” wow. He’s even surprised himself with that one. 

It’s not that he doesn’t care about you or your feelings because he most certainly does. He’s liked being there for you tonight, even if you did start out as two strangers at a bar. It distracted him from his own drama filled life. But your freaky side was showing on the taxi ride over and it awakened something inside of him.

Not in the way that some may think. Sure he’d love nothing more than to fuck you senseless, make you forget everything even if it’s just for the night but most importantly. He felt something more than just lust when you were touching him. 

And as strange as that is to admit, it felt amazing. Like fucking you wouldn’t just be for the sake of it. You wouldn’t just be another notch on his bed post. It’s almost like his heart knows something that his brain doesn’t know yet.

Eventually he gets you to slowly sip at the water until half of it is gone and then the whole thing. You’re still tipsy but a little better than you were before the water.

“Did you want any food? I could order in? It might help?”

“I mean i did sort of throw my prawn starter at my ex” 

He can’t contain his laughter, leaning back on the couch and throwing a hand over his left boob. You really are hilarious to him. He’s so amused by you and he doesn’t ever want this night to end. Even if it doesn’t end in sex, which it will. He’d be satisfied. 

Something that Ransom Drysdale would never ever think or say. 

“So food then?”

You nod before shaking your head aggressively.

“Actually no. No food. I already feel like i’m going to hurl. Food will just make that worse” 

He seconds that, taking your empty glass from your hands and disappearing to refill it before returning it to you.

“You best drink up then if you aren’t planning to eat”

So you do as he says, stopping after a couple of sips due to your eyes noticing more and more about him that you never noticed before. Like his slicked back hair, his broad shoulders and oh shit. Is that a boner?

It’s gotta be right. 

Your still tipsy self hands him the water for him to place on the coffee table for you and that’s when you do the unexpected. You make your way over to him, sitting way too close. Your bare arms rubbing against the soft and thin material of his cardigan. 

“You alright?” 

The way he acts like he cares, which, he does. It’s soothing, the gentle tone in his voice. The way he’s treating you like you’re glass and he doesn’t want to break you. And he’d be right, because you are delicate. Not your body of course but your heart, your soul, your mind. Not that there’s much left of your heart after Anthony broke it.

“I’m okay, i’ll be better after i get this dress off though” the flirty side of you starts to make an appearance. You look down, twiddling your thumbs as he clears his throat, clearly didn’t expect a comment like that. 

“I guess i could fetch some of my clothes for you to wear?” his suggestion, whilst very cute and gentleman like, isn’t what you were after. And he’s far from a gentleman. You can just tell.

“I don’t think you understood” you turn around, back facing him “i need some help. Please” eyelashes batting as you quickly look over your shoulder at him and seconds later, you feel his hand move your hair to the side. 

The zipper glides down with ease causing the straps to fall down your arms and soon enough. You stand up, letting it fall into a puddle on the floor. Leaving you in nothing but your matching blue laced, bra and panties set. Along with your heels of course. It’s the set that you bought for tonight too. For the sex you never ended up getting.

For the first time ever, Ransom is rendering on speechless, his mouth waters at the most incredible sight in front of him and he can tell from that look in your eyes that you want him. 

Something he never expected to happen so fast. That’s when you sit back down next to him, resting your hand on his thigh.

“You know i should really thank you for tonight”

“Honestly, it was nothing” his words are aimed at you whilst his eyes are fixated on your body, not even trying to hide it from you but you just lap it up. You could use some attention right now. After all, your confidence was knocked with your ex boyfriend’s revelation.

“No, really. It was nice. You’ve been amazing. So let me thank you” but before your lips can touch his, he pulls back. Looking at you as his hand caresses your cheek, staring into your eyes like he’s looking into your soul and you feel close to naked in more ways than one.

That’s when his lips crash to yours in an intense and very heated kiss. As his hands roam around your half naked figure, you position them at the back of your bra, signalling to him that you want him to remove it. Which of course, he does. 

He pulls away for a couple of seconds, taking a moment to look at your breasts. And the way he cups them with his large hands before using his thumb and index fingers to pinch at your now hard nipples, has you moaning into the kiss. Leaving your lips parted just enough for his tongue to slip in, adding to the build up. 

The battle for dominance begins and it goes back and forth between you both, your hunger is very much profound. As is Ransom’s. The moans he’s eliciting are almost porn star like and he’s barely even touched you. But that’s the beauty of it, it feels so good that you’re keening for more. Which earns a low and raspy chuckle.

It doesn’t take long before you’re straddling him, legs either side with your hands cupping his face. His hands rested on your waist, squeezing slightly, almost like he’s making sure you don’t go anywhere. And after the day he’s had. He needs someone, whether he admits it or not. He does. 

But that’s all he’s ever wanted. Is someone. Someone to talk to, someone who will listen and be there. He can’t complain about how that’s not the case though, he’s brought it all on himself. The loneliness, it’s killing him but he chooses to push everyone away. 

His family though, that’s all them. They made him this way. A scheming, money grabbing playboy. It doesn’t mean the facade doesn’t drop once he’s all alone though.

However, it never drops around others. So why is it dropping around you?

“God, i needed this” he pants, in between his kisses that he’s peppering from your lips to your jawline and then your neck. It takes him next to no time at all to find the one spot that drives you insane and when he notices the way your whole body shivers. He smirks, sucking and biting it along with the equal amount of wet kisses.

“Me too. Fuck, right there” you mewl, back arching in his hands as they splay across it before moving down to settle on your panties. His finger traces the top of them, following them as it dips into your ass before giving your ass cheeks a hard smack. 

God if this is how incredible you feel just kissing and touching the man then sex must be a real first place prize.

Just the way he’s handling your body alone is enough to send you over that sweet cliff but you stop it, holding back by pushing his face away from your skin, interrupting the hickey he was clearly in the middle of making.

“I wasn’t done with you, come back here” 

You stop him again “i need you” you whisper frantically, both of your chests rising and falling. Your heart is beating like crazy.

“Patience baby” he winks, standing up with you in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist and your arms holding onto his broad shoulders for support as he carries you up the stairs and into what looks like his room. 

Before you even have time to pause for so much as a second, he throws you to the bed. 

“I wanna take my sweet little time with you” he starts, the bed dips as he gets on it, hovering above you “gonna worship every inch of your body” he lowers himself so that he can kiss your lips, then your jawline, then your neck and then eventually, the valley between your breasts.

“Gonna show you what your worth baby, prove to you that you’re better than that scum who didn’t treat you the way you deserve” also something that’s unlike Ransom. But if there’s one thing he’s a pro at, it’s pleasuring a woman. He knows what the fuck he’s doing. He can talk the talk and walk the walk. Which he’s about to prove to you right now. 

He lowers himself down to your sex, the way the pool is growing more and more is obvious, he can smell it and even see it, the way the light blue material has darkened around your tight hole.

You spread your legs open wider, your way of inviting him in. Of course he accepts. He starts off by pressing a thumb down onto your clit, moving it around in circles and causing you to jolt. You’ve been craving someone, anyone at this point to touch you there. Maybe that should have been a sign that things were doomed with you and Anthony since he’s not touched you in months. Maybe that was a sign you should have seen, a red flag that you were too blind to notice.

“Look at you, so flustered already. God i can’t wait to fuck you” 

“Please” you beg, pathetically.

“Nuh uh baby, i told you i wanna take my time, starting with this pretty little pussy” he hooks his fingers into the hem, using that to pull them down and off of your legs before throwing them behind him, not caring where they land. 

“My oh my, it is a pretty little pussy, isn’t it. God you’re soaked baby, all this for me?”

“All for you” your confirmation leads him to lick his lips before pressing a couple of open mouthed kisses to the inside of your thighs.

“That man is an idiot. But i guess his loss is my gain. Ain’t that right baby” he winks as his kisses get closer and closer to your arousal covered hole. 

“Ransom, plea- OH FUCK” his mouth latches onto your clit, sucking as his tongue flicks across it rapidly. A sensation you’ve never felt before that makes your breathing hitch, your hands run through his locks, no doubt messing them up, not that he’s showing any signs of caring.

All that Ransom cares about right now is making you feel good, making you cum.

“Like this baby? Like my mouth all over you?” his eyes meet yours as he uses his fingers to spread you open so that he can really get a good eyeful “you’re dripping” he murmurs, almost like he’s talking to himself and not to you. He slowly slides one finger in before resuming his attention on your folds and your bundle of nerves. 

“More, i need more. I need you” as flattered as he is by your desperation and need to feel every inch of his thick cock, he has to prepare you. Most of the women he’s been with have never had someone as big as him before, so he always likes to get them ready and you are no exception. 

“Patience baby, you’ll have me. All in good time” 

His raspy voice has you melting alone and the way he’s working you over, slipping a second digit in, should be criminal. How can a man like this be single and alone? It makes no sense. Plus it doesn’t hurt that he’s loaded too. 

It’s a mystery that you’ll be sure to get to the bottom of once you’re done here. 

A third finger is added and he’s curling them all more and more each time he bottoms out, your back arches again, your grip on his hair gets tighter. But he doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t stop. Not even for a second. He’s a man on a mission right now.

The way he’s sucking on your clit, the way his fingers are filling you up and the way he’s slurping at you like a drink is something you’ll never and could never compare to anything you’ve ever experienced. He’s a literal god and he has your walls fluttering around him, your clit pulsating in his mouth.

“Feel the way your squeezing me baby, you gonna cum? Huh? Gonna cum all over my fingers” the pure filth that he’s spewing, is what has you coming face to face with stars. And Ransom can feel the way your hips bucks up into his face, the way your hands keep him locked there until they are pushing him away due to how sensitive you are. He doesn’t budge though.

He just laps at your sex again and again before finally withdrawing his fingers, noticing your slick coating them and dripping down his hand.

“Jesus, looks like somebody made a mess”

You can’t help the way your cheeks warm in embarrassment which he soon puts to bed by stuffing his fingers in his mouth to clean them off. Every last drop. 

That’s when he takes it upon himself to drink directly from you, sticking his tongue into the honey pot, taking everything you have to offer “god so fucking sweet. I can’t get enough baby, tastes so fucking good” 

A flirtatious giggle escapes, your hands covering your mouth but he rips them away.

“Don’t ever feel embarrassed or shy around me” 

“Are you gonna fuck me now?” your teeth bite at your bottom lip as you shiver with the anticipation of what’s to come from him. His silence is deadly but exciting.

“Indeed i am” 

He can most likely hear your heart race as he pulls away, getting off of the bed to undress himself. Starting with his cardigan and shirt. Once it’s off, his abs are revealed, his biceps are huge. You have the biggest urge to kiss him all over that chiseled body, sculpted by some kind of god. He’s gotta be a fantasy.

“But first baby” he trails off, pulling his slacks down and stepping out of them “you’re gonna suck my cock, get it nice and hard with that mouth of yours before i ram it into that tight little cunt” he pulls his boxers down, stepping out of them too and kicking both to the side before stalking closer.

You gulp, your eyes widen... he’s huge. Really huge. Thick too. Does he even need your mouth?

“What’s the matter baby? Is someone intimidated?”

“No” your denial, whilst very cute, isn’t believable. But he’s still going to let you have a go at wrapping that mouth around it.

You scoot off of the bed and fall to your knees, feeling even more dainty than you did before when he was towering over you like a giant. 

“Don’t be shy baby, get to work” 

Your hand wraps around him with your thumb swiping the pre cum that’s oozed out of the slit and you immediately pop your thumb into your mouth. You just want a small taste and as soon as the salty-sweet droplet hits your tongue. You all of a sudden crave more of it.

“Nice?” he asks, cocking a brow up “delicious” you smile, adding to his already blown up ego.

You gradually welcome him into your mouth, opening wider as each inch passes your lips until he’s almost bottomed out. That’s when you open wider and his tip hits the back of your throat making you gag, saliva dripping from the corners of your mouth.

“You look so good taking all of me in that mouth, bet you’ll look even better when you’re taking me in that cunt”

Is he trying to kill you with his dirty talk? Most likely.

He’s a different man to the guys you normally go for. Maybe that’s where you’ve gone wrong. You’ve let yourself settle for mediocre sex, mediocre relationships and maybe that’s why you’ve never been truly happy, like happy to your very core. You’ve never fully believed that you deserve the world. Never known your worth.

He grips the sides of your head, stilling your movements so his can begin and he doesn’t go easy. His thrusts have you making an even bigger mess, more saliva dripping down from your face to the floor. He’s loving every second of it though. But soon enough, just as quick as he started, he stops. Pulling out and looking at you, content with what he sees. 

“God you’re fucking beautiful like this, on your knees for me like a good girl. Get on the bed baby” you do as you’re told, sprawling out on the bed and waiting for him to join which of course he does. As soon as he gets a condom out, taking it from the wrapper and sliding it down his shaft. Size XL. You spy before he tosses the wrapper into the bin. 

“You ready?” he asks, resting his tip between your legs and lowering his body so that he can slide his arms underneath your shoulder blades. His face inches from yours. 

“Please, i need you now” and with that he slides home, not stopping to let you adjust to every inch as it comes. You can feel your pussy stretching, the way it stings slightly but it also feels incredible. It’s bliss. 

“S’tight baby and s’warm. Feel that pussy stretching around my cock” 

Your eyes roll back as your head lolls to the side, presenting your neck to him and giving him the opportunity to finish what he started earlier, which of course he does. 

And the second is lips are on your skin, his pace picks up and the pain turns to pleasure. You feel him so deep inside of you that you just know if he were to pull out that you’d feel emptier than ever.

“God, yes. Ransom. Fuck” your legs wrap tight around his waist, forcing him in even deeper if that’s possible at all but still you do it. Wanting nothing more than to feel as much of him as physically possible.

So you wrap your arms around him, your fingers tracing shapes on his back, causing him to shiver and growl loudly “fucking take this cock baby, take it like a good girl” he starts, adjusting his pace from fast and rough to slow and hard. Ramming in each time he speaks “such a good girl” thrust “loving every inch of this cock huh?” thrust “god this pussy” thrust “is gonna have me cumming way too quick” thrust.

“I can’t have that now can i?” that’s when he shocks you, flipping you over so that you’re on top “ride me baby, show daddy what you got” the nickname he uses for himself has your walls spasming, catching his attention.

“Oh you like that huh? Such a dirty girl for daddy, aren’t you?”

“Yes daddy” despite never using that in the bedroom before, it feels weirdly satisfying, having him refer to himself as daddy and seeing how he gets when you call him that too, the way his mouth hangs open, the way his cock twitches. 

It’s something you’ll never forget.

You start off by collapsing onto his chest, your breasts pushed up against his pecs as you slowly lift your ass up before sinking back down onto him, earning a hiss. 

“Yeah just like that, make daddy proud baby” so you do, you go again. And again. And again. Getting quicker each time until you’re a pro at it. You then sit up, continuing to bounce up and down, grinding as he bottoms out, with his initial instructions of course. He guides you through it and before he even tries to help a second time, he takes his hands away, noticing how you’re doing it all by yourself.

Grinding like the whore he’s turned you into. You can’t help the confidence beaming off of you as you go to work, slamming yourself down on his cock eagerly. You need that sweet release now more than ever, as does he.

“That’s it baby, make yourself cum” 

The best pout and puppy dog eyes make a return “fuck me. Please daddy” and who is he to say no to you?

“You’re gonna be the death of me i swear” he flips you over again, keeping himself seated deep inside of you as his pace turns animalistic. 

“Mhmm, give it to me, i’m gonna cum” you plead, not that he’d ever deny you a mind blowing orgasm in the first place as it’s clear you’ve never had one like the one he’s about to give you.

“Bet he could never fuck like this huh? Make you moan like a fucking porn star for him. Gonna have your legs shaking baby, hold on to me” 

So you do. 

Your grip tightens around his neck. 

With every hit to your g-spot, he nudges you closer until yet again, stars cloud your vision and your toes curl. Your back arches up so that you’re chest to chest and you cum with a shaky and satisfied cry. He doesn’t stop though, plowing into you to chase his own release. Your legs are most definitely shaking.

Your walls continue to clamp down on him, spurring it on. 

“God i’m gonna cum”

“Cum for me daddy” is all he needed to hear to go crazy and that’s when he spasms himself. His thick seed filling the condom and his thrusts get slower and harder. Riding both of your highs out. 

Your breathing is heavy, your heart beat is out of control but you feel complete. 

You’ve never experienced anything like that before. 

He pulls out, disposing of the condom and rushing into the en suit for a second before returning with a wash cloth. He uses it to clean you up, taking his time and making sure to be extra careful with you. You try to prop yourself up on your elbow but struggle due to him fully ruining your body.

“Just relax baby, let me take care of everything” he presses a couple of kisses to your thighs and then your stomach, pausing to throw the wash cloth into the hamper before making his way back up to your lips.

He lays down next to you, pulling you into his side and draping an arm around your body so you lay your head down on his chest.

“So” you both say at the same time, causing a laughing fit to erupt.

“That was certainly an experience” 

“I told you that i was gonna worship you and i think you can agree i delivered” 

“You did more than just deliver Ransom”

“Please do tell me more” he laughs, stroking your hair.

“How on earth are you single?” the question that’s been on your mind since you and him got talking at the bar. He’s acted in a way that not many men do these days, it’s hard to believe no ladies are lining up to be with him.

Plus his dick and head game is A-1.

“I’m single more by choice than anything else”

“How come?” you feel bad for asking but surely if you were over stepping the line then he’d say.

“I mean, my family life hasn’t always been the best. I’ve learnt to not trust anyone that i’m related to and growing up with parents that just chucked money at stuff to solve it. If i was upset then it was always take this money, go shopping. Or if i needed my mother for girl advice it always lead to my dad telling me i should never trust women which is rich seeing as he cheats on my mom all the time”

It’s quite sad actually, a man that seems to have it all together, is clearly broken inside.

“I’m sorry, that’s awful. I’m guessing that’s why you’re single then, why you choose to keep away from dating”

“Yup. I prefer to just fuck with no strings attached. It’s easier, I don’t have to do anything other than make them cum. I’m not filled with pressure to be the perfect boyfriend. I can just relax but sometimes it gets lonely”

“How’d you mean? Sorry if i’m prying” you rest your head on your hands as you look up at him, his finger tracing shapes on your back now.

“It’s fine honestly, don’t sweat it. I guess the best way to explain it is that i can have all this money from my grandfather, all the cars, girls and friends in the world but i can’t trust any of them enough to let them see me when i’m laying in bed at night. The times when i just want someone to hold, someone to hold me, tell them about my day, hear about theirs. Someone to wake up next to and fall asleep next to. But whenever a woman gets even remotely close to me in a way that is too deep. I back off, i give her the cold shoulder and just ghost. I get freaked out because to me, there’s nothing scarier than someone seeing all of me, the good, the bad and the ugly”

It takes you just a second to realise, he’s just bared his soul to you. After saying that he backs off whenever a woman gets too close. After saying that he struggles to trust. That he’s scared of being himself around someone. He’s just been himself around you. And you have no doubt that he feels comfortable enough with you to do that so that’s gotta count for something, surely.

“I get it. It’s hard. Loving someone is easy but allowing them to love you, that’s the scary part. Because ultimately when you let someone in enough to let them love you whole heartedly it opens you up to the chance of heartbreak i mean, look at my life”

You both laugh a little “It’s not even just regular heartbreak, it’s the fear of being cheated on, having my trust shattered. Having someone use me for my family’s money”

“Well, for what it’s worth. I think you need to just bite the bullet, let that guard down. How do you ever expect to find what you want and need if you’re not willing to open yourself up to it. It’s a risk that is worth it sometimes, that eventually, all the heartaches will lead to something greater or someone. Someone that will accept every flaw you have and be there regardless of how messy things can get”

Ransom is just so relaxed right now, he feels at peace, at ease with you. The way you’re listening. Your head rested on his chest, letting him hold you and giving him proper responses, it shows you’re paying attention, you want to be there for him. He’s completely taken back by you. How could anyone want to cheat and leave you, it’ll always remain a mystery to him.

You’re like this ray of light, that came into his life tonight out of the blue. Someone who’s hurting too but somehow you amazing him with the sunshine you provide. You’re everything he’s always wanted in a girlfriend but he’s spent years pushing girls just like you to the side due to fear. Only difference is, he’s able to be himself with you. With them, he could never.

His body lets go as he turns on his side, turning you with him so that he’s cuddling you from behind.

“You’re right. I’ll get there eventually. I just, i need time”

Your silent for a while, taking his words in before you speak.

“Seems like you don’t need any time at all”

That’s when you hear quiet snores from behind you, he’s dozing. And after a couple of minutes, you decide that it’s probably time you see yourself out, you never wanna over stay your welcome and right now with him asleep, you already have.

But before you can even get off the bed, you need to remove his hand from around your frame. Which isn’t going to be easy considering you have to try not to wake him up.

You succeed, finally managing to scoot over to the edge of the bed. But that’s when you hear his tired groans, followed by a hand to your wrist.

“Don’t leave me” his voice is laced with worry

“What?”

“Everyone leaves me” his words break your heart all over again, you’ve been left before and you’re not about to do this to him. Besides, it’s not like you wanted to, you just didn’t think he was the type to want you here all night.

“I didn’t think you’d want me to be here when you woke up”

“Well, you thought wrong. Come back and cuddle, don’t leave like everyone else does”

It doesn’t take much more to convince you to crawl back into his arms. He presses a couple of kisses to your shoulder as you get under the covers with him. Then the kisses move to your cheek and eventually, your lips.

“I’m here to stay then i guess”

“Good”

You feel warm and happy somehow in his arms, like everything has gone away, even if it’s just temporarily.

“Goodnight” 

“Goodnight Ransom. sweet dreams” something you’ve always said throughout your whole life. It’s a nice thing to say and it has him smiling into one last kiss before he closes his eyes for the night.

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General Tags: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @adriannajackson @dummiesshort @cevans-fics @americasass91 @toni9 @aaliferouss @bradfordmyworld @thereisa8ella @rockyrogers 

Just Chris & His Characters Tags: @onetwo3000 @persephonequeenofthedead @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @rynabarnesrogers @princess-evans-addict @stxvercgersslut @chris-evanslover @bval-1 @thejemersoninferno @denisemarieangelina 

[hacked-by-jake]

Hey Ho! :D

You will always find this post in my blog description.🥰

(Well, since there’s not really much information about me, here’s a post of things you’ve been interested in and some facts about me.)

(Thanks to the Anon for the motivation to do this here! <3)

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So, Hi! You can call me HBJ! I don’t want to mention my real name and age here. 😁

I started publishing my fanfictions here on Tumblr a little over a year ago and haven’t left since. xD

My mother tongue is not English, I am from Germany. So if you find some mistakes, please excuse it, I’m doing my best and still learning. <3

I honestly have no idea what to write here so, have fun, if anyone reads through this here. 😂 At least that’s a little bit of me. :D

>The Ask Box is always open. So feel free to ask a question if you are interested (but I want to warn you, I am not answering everything, but I will let you know in this case) < <3

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Let's start! ❤️🌹🎭

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First of all 10 Random Facts about me. This was asked by an anon. Here is the original post.

I’m a giant nerd, there’s no place in my room that’s not full of merchandise.

I prefer to read stories that are self-published, for example here on Tumblr or on other sites, rather than real books.

I have a problem with jackets, I have tons of them.

I usually dye my hair according to the colors of characters I like.It all started with green/purple - because of the Joker. And the last color I have at the moment is all green because of Joker / Loki from Marvel (Oups)

Almost all tattoos I have are about fictional characters (also Oups)

No one, really nobody knows what books/stories I read because that’s something very private to me.

I listen to music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Also, it’s hard for me / I don’t like to talk about the music I listen to because this is very intimate for me for some reason.

When I watch a series, it’s at least 2 times behind each other, sometimes more often. But never just once.

Films that I watch for the first time and that excite me, I watch every second that I have time. When the movie is over, I start again unless there are several parts. But then I always watch my favorite one 500 times.

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Random questions from you.

(Asked by @procrastinatingrobin) -One place that you'd like to travel at least once in your life?

---- One of my biggest wishes is (what a cliché xD) New York. For example the “Joker Stairs”, which is one of my biggest dreams. *-*

I would love to travel to a lot of locations from my favorite movies/series.🤭

America in general is a dream for me (a German potato 😂😅).

But there are so many beautiful places to which I want to go. For example, I would love to travel to Tenerife. I know someone who lives there and every time I see pictures I get very jealous. xD

Unfortunately, I’m incredibly afraid of flying, so if that doesn’t improve, I’ll never get anywhere near these places.😫😂��

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(Asked by Anon) How many tattoos do you have?😄

I love tattoo questions. 😂🤭At the moment I have eleven tattoos🥰

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(Asked by Anon) -What's your favorite animal?

Hmmm I don’t really know, I think they are dogs because I have a dog now. *-* But to be honest, turtles are so cool.🤔 My brother has a turtle named: Schiggy (based on Pokémon)🤭

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(Asked by Anon) -The stupidest thing that ever happened to you?

Ohhh hahaha there I have something good!😅Story Time with Hbj xD

Okay: As some might know, I’m a big fan of The Joker by DC.🃏Well, in 2019, the Joker movie with Joaquin Phoenix came to the cinemas and I was at the cinema premiere with my best friend. And the movie was absolutely amazing. I really wanted to watch the movie again..Aaaaand I was lucky because my best friend’s boyfriend also wanted to see the movie in the cinema so I went back to the cinema 5 days later to watch the movie again. I was so excited and so extremely happy that I trembled and could not stand still. xD And for these two reasons, I accidentally dropped my not really old phone. It just fell straight down on the stones in front of the cinema and the display was completely broken..Well, what can I say? I needed a new one.. 😂😅But the movie was still fantastic!😍🤭This is actually one of the stupidest things that ever happened to me. xD

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(Asked by @kyras-things) What are the little things that make your day happiest?

Oh that’s a really nice question! *-*Well, I have really little things that can make me happy. :)-It is enough for me when I wake up tomorrow and see my merchandise shelf😅 (This is right in front of my bed)This is for most something really small but for me really great and makes me happy. <3Other things are music, stroking my dog, messages on my phone, my hair color, my tattoos, when the sun is shining in the morning, coffee, riding longboard and of course (yes this is my absolute serious and not only so therefore said) tumblr and thus at the same time Duskwood. 💕I think these are the most important things. 🤭All I need is to see something that matters to me.😅🥰

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(Asked by @leetjep) Seriously....Do you ever sleep?

Very rarely😂 Last time I slept was in fall.😂

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(Asked by Anon) Ios or android?

Only related to the phone: Android.Yes, I stand by it!😂

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(Asked by @booklover-01040) Hello!I was wondering have you got any paranormal or creepy experiences? If no, then a nightmare that you will never forget.

Hey Ho! In fact, I haven’t experienced any paranormal things. Which is probably also because I don’t believe in that and I’ve found a rational cause for everything so far. (Important: I don’t believe in it, but I don’t say it doesn’t exist, I don’t want anyone to feel attacked)

And a nightmare I’ll never forget? In fact, I can’t think of any one. There’s a dream I’ve have since I was a kid: It’s about two little wolves trying to eat me. xD And I can even tell where that came from.

The movie to blame for this is: Twilight xD

Yep… When I first watched this movie, I was way too young, and as a child I was always very anxious. Just such things and horror movies in general were terrible for me (today it is actually no longer so) (Even the dream is no longer bad today and yet it has a bitter aftertaste of childhood.)

In any case, I was much too young and that did not let me go back then. xD But a really unsettling dream I had was: Well.. Do you know the Pink Panther? 😂

I once dreamed that the Panther “chased” me through an endless long corridor. It was an endless corridor in pink with countless doors. He sang the theme song and threw clocks at me…😅 And that went on all night until I woke up.

(This, by the way, had a trigger too. A German song (the rapper only took the melody of the title music and wrote his own lyrics. The text isn’t really cool though and that’s the reason)

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(Asked by @dreamer-writer-fangirl) What color is your hair?

Well, at the moment my hair is green🤭

Check HERE and HERE for pictures.

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(Asked by Anon) Is your brother younger or older than you?🤗

My brother is older than me.🥰

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(Asked by Anon) Do you have a nickname?

Yes, actually I have one. I can even say it because it has nothing to do with my real name. :D But please don’t laugh at me. 😂Well, I have the loving nickname: Little Onion. yep…My mom gave me that name for some reasons. 😂

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(Asked by Anon) some information about your dancing?😄 you mentioned it a few days ago💃

Yeah, well, I danced for 13 years, in different groups, also several groups at the same time. :D It was the hip hop/breakdance direction. But at some point I stopped because I didn’t enjoy it in the groups anymore and time was getting tighter. :/ Unfortunately, there was and is no real other groups here, which is why I stopped completely and now only dance for myself and just for fun.🤭

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(Asked by Anon) What's your favourite food ?

Uhhhm, I think everything with pasta is my favorite food.😂 I can eat noodles all day. 🤭🍝🍜Well, and of course, Pizza!🍕Pizza is adorable. 😂

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(Asked by Anon) What type of video games do you like to play?

I don’t really have a favorite type / genre, I don’t play video games that often. I’m actually playing what looks exciting to me without any particular genre or type. 😁🤭

But if I do, I guess I’m the most Nintendo type. So most of the games I play are related to Nintendo. <3

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(Asked by @mirajane01040-duskwoodmemes) Do you play... Minecraft?

I used to play a lot of Minecraft, but nowadays not so much, and if so, then only the mobile version. This is fun for in between and dispels the boredom. I even started building Duskwood several times, but never finished it. xD Well, yes, sometimes I play Minecraft.

Answer a few days later: Yes, I do!

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(Asked by Anon) If you could be a fictional character, who would it be and why?

Oh, there are a few. xDBut the three main characters for me: Evey Hammond because of V for Vendetta. Harley Quinn because of The Joker. And, of course, my MC because of Jake. 🤭I know, very superficial reasons but I hope they are enough for you, because these are the main reasons xD 😅🤭

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(Asked by Anon) Hey hbj i'm curiousFamily or a career? 😋

I choose the career.🤭 After that, there is still enough time, and who says that not both work?😉

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(Asked by Anon) do you like alcohol?🍷

No, absolutely no. Not a little bit.

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(Asked by Anon) What is your favorite drink?

If I don’t drink coffee, I only drink sparkling water, my entire life. I very rarely drink something different. Water for life! 🧊

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Either/or questions from you.

(Asked by @duskwood-legacies) -What would you rather see, Northern Lights or sky lanterns?

That’s easy for me🤭 Northern Lights! If you ask me.. that is magical! *-* (Well, unless it’s like “Tangled” and I get a Flynn Rider.. then sky lanterns xD)

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(Asked by @duskwood-legacies) -Strawberries or raspberries?

Definitely: Strawberries🍓 *-*

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(Asked by@duskwood-legacies) Do you prefer angst or fluff?

I think it depends on the general mood I’m in.🤔 I think the best is angst with happy ending.😁

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(Asked by@duskwood-legacies) Milk or cereal first?

Obviously: Cereal first! 😂🥣

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(Asked by @justubi) Would you rather have a nosy neighbor pr noisy neighbor?

Unfortunately, I have both. xD But if I could choose, I would opt for the noisy neighbor as I wear headphones all day anyway.😂

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(Asked by @justubi) Would you rather be poor but love your job or rich but absolutely hate your job?

One hundred percent and without having to think about: poor and love my job!I could never have a job I don’t like. This is a real horror imagination for me😂

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(Asked by @kyras-things ) Prefer to write fanfics or read them?

Oh that’s a really hard question for me! 🤔 I can’t really make up my mind, but I think I’d rather read than write myself. With stories of others I can better dive into another world and relax. 🤭Because when I write, five hundred other thoughts always fly around in my head and I have to decide how to write something etc.I love writing but sometimes I wish I only had to think about a story and it would be written on a sheet right away. xD <3

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(Asked by @leetjep) Would you rather have one eye in the middle of your head or two noses?

I take the eye in the middle of my head. 😂Then I would make the Jake eye as a tattoo around it, which would be really cool.🤭

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(Continues on new asks)

[iam93percentstardust]

hi! i really like your writing and was wondering if you’d recommend other authors that you enjoy or even specific fanfics you like? i’ve only just started getting into the steve/tony fandom and want to follow more people! thank you!

Hi there and welcome! We’re glad to have you here!! 💙

I’m more of an MCU kind of gal myself but if you’re interested in the comics, I highly recommend checking out the below authors and fics:

Living in the Future by Closer: Eighteen-year-old Tony Stark is the boy genius who woke Captain America, and now he's stuck with him. That's not a bad thing, but between Steve's wide-eyed wonder at the new world and Tony's little fanboy crush, the awkwardness just keeps happening.

@blossomsinthemist: seriously one of the best smut authors I’ve ever read with lots of feelings, trust me, you won’t regret getting into their works

@sineala: been writing Marvel since approximately 2014 (though if you like their works, it’s worth reading their other stuff as well even if you’re not familiar with the fandom, it’s all that good) and has written a lot of the classics including Like a Comet Streaming On and Slipping off the Page into Your Hands

Stars Fading, but I Linger On, Dear by Chibisquirt: A Soulmate AU where people meet their soulmate in their dreams. Of course, not even that solves all the world's problems, especially if one or more of the soulmates has a secret identity...

MCU and Ambiguous Fandom:

@festiveferret: has written so much and I can pretty much guarantee that you’ve stumbled across something that they’ve written at least once, writes both on tumblr and on ao3 but everything they post on tumblr is also cross-posted to ao3 so you don’t have to go digging through their blog to find ficlets

@no-gorms: has literally the most interesting AUs, I always read whatever is new pretty much the moment it comes out, can promise lots of feelings and happy endings

A Series of Learning Experiences by @riotfalling: In which Tony finds out that his tiny artist boyfriend is not a nice boy. In the best possible way. (Riot doesn’t write much Stevetony but what she does write is amazing)

Heart in Hand by janonny: Or the story where Tony, an Omega, holds a much belated Courting Ceremony. Steve joins up and loses his mind a little.

@maguna-stxrk: writes lots of fluff here on tumblr

@omg-just-peachy: widely acknowledged as the inventor of fluff

@itsallavengers: no longer as active but writes the most heartbreaking angst with a happy ending, you will feel so many things, has written classics like Versions of Reality and Nobody Panic, Everything’s Fine

@aurumacadicus: I’ve said before (I think on the stuckony reclist) that her version of Tony is my favorite but I’m going to say it again: seriously, fantastic Tony

Finding Pack by @naferty: In a world where pack means everything from status to fame to survival and to family, newly pack-less Tony Stark is trying to survive after those he once trusted betrayed him, and starting over by searching for a new pack to take him in, but with his age and status weighing heavily on his shoulders finding someone to take a chance on him might be easier said than done.What pack wanted an old infertile omega in their ranks? Certainly not the famous Avengers pack led by the equally famous Captain. (one day this fic will be finished and when that happens, I will scream for three days straight)

@sabrecmc: hmmm yes, especially check out Celestial Navigation and The Prize (also has an incredibly comprehensive rec blog, @sabrecmcstonyficrecs)

Sunrise by NotEvenCloseToStraight: Nomad is a soldier forced to do Hydra's bidding. When his mission takes him to the castle and to the bed chambers of Prince Antony Stark, Nomad is faced with a choice-- to finish his mission and finally earn his freedom or to save the last piece of his scarred soul and let the beautiful Prince live.Antony is trapped in the Palace, his life controlled by his Uncle, the Sovereign Stane. He yearns for a life beyond the palace walls but when the Nomad breaks into his rooms with blade held at the ready, Antony thinks all is lost--and then the assassin hesitates.Steven and Antony are two souls together in the moonlight, two lives on the cusp of ruin and as the sun rises over the palace, perhaps they will be two kindred spirits, finding freedom in each other's arms.

take my heart clean apart by mistymountainking: Tony comes home exhausted after an SI event. Steve acts as welcoming committee. It's an old, careworn routine they've perfected over the years, but tonight ends up going in a very different direction.

Dear Mr. Fantasy by @pineapplebread: Tony writes letters to his past loves to get over them. They’re all but meaningless by this point, but he keeps them hidden anyways, never to be seen or read by anyone else. Until one day they all mysteriously get sent out.His deepest secrets are revealed and he scrambles to do damage control, striking a deal to enter a fake relationship with Steve Rogers who just wants his ex back. Tony conveniently forgets to mention that the only love letter he still means is the one he wrote to his fake boyfriend.

slipping through the years by often_adamanta: The plane crash and subsequent ice might have killed him, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still around, haunting those he cares about. And since the only person who can see him is Tony Stark, death sure isn’t going to be boring.

Insomnia by Scavenge4Dreams: Its 3am. Do you know where your Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist is?

rough enough for love by silkspectred: The first time they had sex was right after their first kiss. Steve dropped to his knees and then Tony reciprocated after making Steve lie down on the bed. The second time it was Steve that initiated it, slow handjobs under the hot spray of the shower, and Tony looked surprised by it. Like it was weird that Steve wanted it. Wanted him.

I’m a Grown-Ass Man by not_applicable: or, 5 Times Steve Carried Tony and 1 Time Tony Didn't Mind. At all.

Containment by D: After Tony ends up severely injured from a surprise attack, triggering a flashback and putting him in the hospital for emergency surgery, the Avengers come together in worry for their friend and teammate and are disquieted by the intensity of Tony’s reaction. Between the flashback and the sedatives, Tony’s mind revisits key moments in his life while the team bands together in support of each other and their injured friend, letting SHIELD handle Tony’s attacker, they remain where they are needed, even if Tony isn’t awake to truly realize this. And through it all, Steve makes a decision that will change things with Tony.

His Fate Will Be Unlearned by scifigrl47: Tony Stark spent his childhood making weapons, filling the hole his father left in the world when he succumbed to alcohol, grief, and his own demons. At the age of fifteen, he ran away from home, and made it as far as MIT before all of his responsibilities caught up to him. Now seventeen, he just wants to finish his degree and escape from everything connected to the Stark name. Steve Rogers crashed into the icy North Atlantic in the 1940's, sacrificing himself to save the world. He never expected to wake up, and now that he has, he's not sure he's glad. The US Army has other plans for him, but for now, Steve is slowly learning to live life in the 21st century, and taking classes at Boston College. He's beginning to suspect that there is no escape. Boston College is on the T's Green Line. MIT is on the Red. The two lines meet at the Park Street Station, and so will Steve and Tony.

The Twice-Told Tale by arysteia: For someone he'd hero-worshipped for so long, Steve Rogers in the flesh is a pretty big disappointment. For one thing, he keeps looking at Tony as though he reminds him of someone else, and even if he never says anything, Tony's pretty sure it's his father. A lifetime of not measuring up to Howard's expectations is more than enough, thank you very much, and he's certainly not going to make an effort to live up to any of Steve's. Steve's pretty clearly failed to live up to his expectations, in any case, and that's not hypocritical at all.

Like Gene Kelly in the Movies by lyra_wing: Everything Tony Stark does is a dance. And it's super confusing for Steve.

bedrock and brick by lyra_wing: Immediate sequel to the movie, wherein Tony builds Avengers Tower. Or plays interior designer, take your pick.

[icarushasfallenfromthestars]

Found (Outside The Screen) (Dream x GN! Reader) Part 2

Request: That dream angst fuckin wrecked my heart..any chance for a part 2 with comfort(im not the og requester so if not thats fine its just OUGH my heart)

I have written this three times over because tumblr didn’t save it. THEN. Tumblr doesn’t show it to ANYONE unless they check my account. This happened to my Ranboo fic as well... I will honestly cry if no one sees this.

Part 1 

Once again. This is a completely fictitious story and version of Clay.

TW: Panic attacks, self deprecating thoughts,

"(Y/n)!"

His voice echoed through the house as you scrambled around corners to escape the possible wrath of your boyfriend. Or maybe even soon to be ex boyfriend.

Despite living in this house with him for a little over two years, it was beginning to feel like a maze. You couldn't tell which way was left and which way was right, your head spinning with panic as you gasped for breath.

He's gonna find you...

The house wasn't even that big, and quite an open concept, so you had no idea why you were finding it so confusing. All you knew at the moment was...

Get out.

Once your eyes landed on the door that lead out, you made a beeline towards it and flung it open. Maybe you should've known better than to attempt to run from the manhunt god...

The footsteps pounding against the floor not too far behind you startled you enough to jump outside and slam the door behind you in hopes of giving yourself enough time to run farther.

There were plenty of things failing to register in your mind as you ran down the empty sidewalks. Such as the poor choice (or lack) of shoes you were wearing, or even the heavy night rain pelting down on your shaking body.

Your lungs were burning.. But your brain had thrown itself so far into fight or flight mode that you had no care for anything around you, hardly blinking twice as the signs of unfamiliar street names flew past you.

Eventually, when you physically couldn't breathe any longer, you sat on a bench and took awhile to think. The consistent rain pelting down on your head was actually a decent grounder to help you snap yourself out of it... But that only caused more confusion and another wave of panic to wash over you.

Where... were you?

Doesn't matter. Don't go back.

Oh God... He hates you..

Why wouldn't he..?

He was too embarrassed to show you to his chat!

What did you do that was so embarrassing?

God.. What was so wrong with you that he stayed in his streaming room for days on end!?

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you choked back a few sobs, trying your best to keep what was left of your composure. Very quickly, however, you gave up on trying to hold yourself together and broke down, hiding your face in your knees.

Time seemed to pass by way too quickly but also way too slowly at the same time.. Like time itself was giving you the one finger salute. When you finally stopped crying, you leaned back against the back of the bench and gave a shaky sigh before you decided to attempt to think rationally again.

You had no clue where you were. Nothing looked familiar. What time is it? No clue, you don't have your... Your phone!

You quickly scrambled to your pocket to pull out the cellular device, and stared at the black screen for a few seconds. Anxiety was the reason for your hesitance as you stared into your reflection, frowning slightly. Without thinking twice, you pressed the button and the screen lit up with various arrays of colours.

78 Missed calls from Clay💚

2 Missed calls from George👓🇬🇧

7 Missed calls from Sapnap🔥

Was... He so mad that his friends were trying to yell at you too? You tilted your head slightly and scrolled through the other notifications on your lockscreen.

Twitter seemed to be losing their minds over your boyfriend's stream and wondering who the stranger was. Seeing the headlines flooded you with immeasurable guilt and you almost put your phone down again, if your phone didn't start buzzing.

You glanced down at the screen and say Clay was making call number 79... Man, he was persistent.. and he would probably continue to call until you answered...

Your finger hovered over the decline button, before slowly moving over and landing on the green one instead. "...Hello...?"

"(Y/n)...?" Had... He been crying...? "Oh my god! You're alive!" He gasped out with glee before giving a few sobs of... relief...?

"...You... Aren't... Mad?" You whispered very softly and hesitantly, your voice scratchy and sore from crying.

He sighed and there was a little bit of shuffling as well as a few male voices in the background. "No. Not in the slightest... Where are you? I want to apologize in person.. And when it doesn't sound like you're in a hurricane.."

You lifted your head up to look at the rain that was continuing to pelt down on you before looking around. "..I'm not sure.." You heard your partner echo your statement in question form as you looked for street signs through the rain. Glancing back at your phone, you saw the screen light up again, this time it was a warning label.

Your battery was almost dead...

"C-Clay.. My phone is going to die.." You murmured softly, your heart filling with dread as you turned down your brightness and closed any unnecessary apps.

There was a little bit of clattering and shuffling on the line as Clay hurriedly walked from the windows to the door, trying to see you from the home. "G-give me landmarks! Hurry!" He practically begged as you shot up from your bench, ignoring the burning soreness in your legs.

Spinning around quickly, you began listing off a few company buildings you saw, trying to shout over the rain and a few cars driving by. "Yeah-yeah! There's also that little sushi place beside the restaurant too.."

You heard the furious typing of his computer before another almost sob of relief. "You're on Rosewood Avenue... How the hell did you run that far? Okay, you're going to walk in the opposite direction of the sushi place until you reach a road called Miller Road, got that?" He waited for a verbal noise of agreement before continuing, "Once you get there, turn left and keep walking straight until you get to a steakhouse. I'll meet you half way, if you don't see me there, don't move unless you have to. Got it?" He asked firmly, with a small hint of desperation in his tone.

You rubbed your face as you mentally repeated the directions to yourself. "Yeah.. Yeah.. I got it." You began to walk along the sidewalks, your shoulders beginning to tremble from the water induced shivers trailing up and down your spine.

"..(Y/n)?"

"Yeah?"

"I lov-"

Your phone died..

Pulling the device away from your head, you pressed the buttons a few times before groaning and shoving it into your pockets as you began to walk.

Your mind was blurry but also hyper aware along the walk to the road where Clay told you to go. 'What was he going to say? If... He doesn't hate me... was he going to say- No.. no. He hadn't said that line in over a few months now.. No reason why he would say it now..' You mentally scolded yourself.

The rain didn't seem to be too keen on letting up as you walked through large rippling puddles. Your clothes were soaked, your hair completely drenched and you were pretty sure you were gonna need to buy a new phone with how much your current one was getting waterlogged..

You rose your arm to shield your face from the onslaught of water that a car had caused by driving through a large puddle before running your hand down your face.

Part of you was still a bit.. angry... at Clay... He had ignored you for so long and wanted nothing to do with you.. Then suddenly you spill hot coffee on yourself and then boom, you have the man more focused than when he has a good speed run seed. What about all those times you were begging him to come to bed, or at least eat dinner at the table with you? Did you only matter when you were in pain?

Biting your lip, you shook off the thought as you looked up again to see the steakhouse that you were directed to go to, the signs glowingly and people shuffling in and out through the doors...

Then there was another man, standing under a large black umbrella wearing a damp lime green hoodie...

Only you'd recognize that face anywhere where others wouldn't.. Standing in the street lights perfectly was your boyfriend, Clay.

Your heart trembled but also melted slightly upon seeing that he wasn't paying attention to his screen anymore. You. He was focused on finding you...

As you began to walk closer, you saw him lift his head and stare at you for a few seconds before dropping the umbrella and lunge forward to wrap you in a loving embrace. "I'm sorry.." Was the first thing he whispered, his voice almost as hoarse as yours. "I know.. that a simple apology will never excuse what I put you through... You cared for me, and even after a stupidly ignored you... You still didn't leave, or get angry. I don't deserve you, I know that, and you have every right to be upset, angry or whatever you're feeling right now.. Please, it doesn't matter how long it takes... Just let me make it up to you and let me prove myself worthy of your love again.."

Your lips parted in surprise as you stared at him, the streetlight poorly capturing his normal beauty, but still doing it well enough that you felt your heart soar. "Clay..." Your eyes traced his features, his puffy and reddened eyes and his cheeks stained with tear tracks, "You have a lot to work and make up for... I'm not going to forgive you immediately, but I'm not going to leave you.. We can work things out.. Together, okay?"

He eagerly nodded and gently held your face in his hands before pressing a light kiss to your forehead. "I'll break away from video editing and streaming for a while.. So I can focus on repairing things with you.."

You buried your face into the male's sweater, that was beginning to become soaked as well from the rain and you, and closed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him.

"(Y/n)?"

"Mm..?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Clay."

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Everyone else + One direction songs as boyfriends

Okay so this is a part 2 to literally the second work I had posted to tumblr and that’s linked right below here (you’re welcome, I scrolled through 440 posts to find it) 

Karasuno Boys as boyfriends based on One Direction songs 

It is super cute and it includes

Oikawa, Iwa, Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo, Kenma, Ushijima and Tendou 

Oikawa

One Thing

This is one of my favorite songs and it fits oikawa so well because he is so confident in himself and he knows how hot he is and expects people to fall for him so when he fell head over heels with you he was so shocked and it was all that he could think of over and over. He started by doing that asshole smirk and flirting that got him all of the girls but you were different and he worked so hard to get you like he could not let you reject him. (Not in a creepy way like you definitely have the choice to but he knows that his typical douchy ways deserve to be rejected and you are too good for that anyway so he needs to do something better) Turns out he does and asks you out in the cutest way with a rose and some really cute compliments and he is so blush and shy that he stutters through it but that’s totally okay because you say yes. He is totally obsessed with you like he is always checking in on you and trying to make himself better for you but still snaps on accident and stuff because he isn’t used to being actually vulnerable with people and he knows that won’t get away with you. Every time he sees you his eyes light up and he will say something sarcastic but then pull you into the sweetest heart filling hug ever that really shows you how much he loves you even though outsiders really might not see it.

Iwa

What Makes you beautiful

Iwa was so sick of telling girls that he did’nt know where Oikawa had gone that he automatically dismissed you when you approached him but when you said that you needed to give the paper to him he was so shocked that he had been so rude and had to take a step back, even worse you were absolutely gorgeous but so shy. He is the boyfriend that is really nervous to do things because he doesn’t know girls but he knows girls way better than he thinks because when he texts oikawa and he gets a dumb answer from him he knows but himself that it is a dumb answer and that he should not try and carry you places because you wouldnt like that. You take turns planning dates and choosing where to go but it is never an argument and he is a total gentleman like classic gentlemen, the whole opening doors for you, meeting your parents first and everything like he cares so much about what you think about him because he just thinks you’re amazing and he just finds himself looking at you and just high five-ing himself mentally. He dishes out his fare share of sarcasm but always with love like you’ll ask if he wants to hangout later and he tells you no, like flat out no and of course you get sad about it all until you realize that he wants to hangout now and literally was walking the way back to your house with you and you didn’t realize because you were sniffling and being dramatic.

Kuroo

Live while we’re young

Kuroo is such a worry wart like he wants you to be happy all the time and whenever he messes up he doesn’t know what to do like he is just so obsessed with you. He comes with his own warning label because he is going to be absolutely wild. He tells you that he has an idea and twenty minutes later you two are going cliff diving or going three towns over to try some new restaurant. He is the one for you. Everything seems spontaneous with him but he really wants to just surprise you because he loves your smile and how you get so shocked, secretly he looks for things to go take you to do that you haven’t done before because he likes being the person with yo for all of these firsts in your life and he hopes one day he can be that person forever. He would literally never put this much effort into things if he didn’t love you with his whole entire heart and whenever you are out on these dates or going somewhere he always does the cliche thing where he looks down at you and is like “hey, I love you, you know that right?”. The smile when you get when you go out together is the smile he secretly gets when he thinks about you. He also gets really sappy and sentimental but would never let you know that.

Kenma

Night Changes

🥺 This one makes me a little emotional because I see the two of you dating after being friends for a while first like he just one day sees you in a different light and just can’t help but ask you out on the spot and little does he know you’ve liked him forever. It was such a spur of the moment thing but he couldn’t imagine anything else and just the idea of things changing so quickly and you dating someone else just made him blurt it out. It’s a nervous relationship for the both of you because you haven’t dated very many people yet and you want things to be ‘right’ like they are in all of the shows and stuff but your relationship is different. It’s less big surprises and actions and more listening and nights in and small things together. Kenma shows his love in so many different ways that are so uniquely him, he likes to bring you with him places, or have you by his side and even asking if you need anything like he does little things for you or sees things and thinks of you in public and sends them to you. It’s nothing huge but he makes sure to make you smile and that you know he’s thinking about you at least everyday. It takes forever to tell each other that you love them but when it finally happened it was just right like no other word but right. He changes his phone background to a dumb picture of you and just adores you so much like you get to see his little smile more than anyone else ever.

Bokuto  

One Way or Another

Boy if this isn’t the two of you I don’t have any idea what it would be. The two of you are chaotic and fun with each other and are always supporting each other but he also does weird shit too like the first time he comes over he definitely walks by like four times to make sure it is actually your house (he has picked you up from here before and knows it is your house but he still is nervous okay). Once the two of you are dating more he gets so clingy that he will pull a Twilight and crawl through your window just to sleep next to you and then he will parkour jump out the window in the morning so the two of you don’t get caught. He is also really really loud when he introduces you as his girlfriend because he is so happy and excited that he could just scream it to the world in fact he has just screamed it to the world before because he just is so excited and loves you. He always finds a way to make things work, one way or another, like when he starts training more for nationals he comes and sees you wayyyy early in the morning or will carry your bag for you between classes because he wants to show you that he cares every single day. He’s forgetful but he tries really really hard so you can’t even get mad at him for forgetting things like anniversaries because he treats you like everyday is special together.

Akaashi

Drag Me Down

Akaashi has always been so level headed but talking to you like he has no thoughts in his head and he hates it. YOu are just so perfect and he tells you all of the things he loves about you in such little ways like you’ll be doing things and he will just randomly compliment something about you, he is so good about knowing what you’re insecure about and literally complimenting it away like you have no idea how but you’ll be nervous about wearing a crop top or something and he sees you and immediately just tells you how beautiful you look in it. And when you do the same to him he always tells you something dumb like “i know” but really does take all of your compliments to heart and just thinks about I forever like you really called him pretty and told him that his eyes were beautiful like he gets so happy like no one ever compliments him He is so caring and listens to every single word you say and always knows how to make you feel better even if you don’t like he’s learned that when you’re so stressed you end up crying you need a snack, a walk and then to go to bed and it always helps so much. He is your rock and you are his like you two are so strong and as long as you have each other no one can drag you down.

Ushijima

They don’t know about us

DUDE this is 100000% your sons because like the two of you just have such an unexpected relationship and everyone just makes assumptions about it and things about your relationship but they have no idea how sweet his is behind closed doors and how he never forgets anniversaries or anything and knows you better than you know yourself. But what is super annoying is when people tell you that he is more into volleyball than you and that you are going to just hold his career back and you can’t even understand why because those are two separate things and he wants to do it forever. In public he is typical Toshi but that’s who you fell in love with so that’s okay. But as your relationship gets stronger he slowly starts showing more affection but like how he has seen in movies so first it is holding your hand, then kissing the back of it as you walk and you have to tell him that it’s sweet but he is perfect the way he is and he doesn’t need to change or be someone he’s not. Besides he is a big touch deprived baby and he is super affectionate when you’re alone like kisses and cuddles and just constantly has some part of him touching some part of you like it could just be your legs laying over his lap as you watch something but it is something and he finds himself mindlessly doing the same.

Tendou

Best song ever

Tendou is such a happy go lucky guy and the most positive boyfriend ever like he sees you one day in the hall and just was like “yep, she’s the one” and no one believed him and he was actually serious. He asked you out without even getting to know you first at all and saying yes was the best thing ever. He is the let's go get McDonald’s and ride in circles kind of boyfriend where dates are so frequent and most people don’t call them dates but it is so fun just being with you too. He always surprises you and dresses nice and takes you out somewhere nice for anniversaries and holidays and stuff but that’s not who you fell in love with. You fell in love with the dork who takes you to Walmart with him to get things to try and home make some crazy recipe he found on the internet. Or you two just laying together watching TikTok with each other just laying around together, when you two hangout you have more fun with no plans. But do not get me wrong he is going to show you he cares and makes sure you feel his and he surprises you a lot and stuff but he doesn’t care about the superficial things. He buys you both so much food but he doesn’t count that as actually getting you things, he gets the most thoughtful and kind gifts ever like he will keep secrets from you for weeks so he can get it right.

[netfelixx]

Hello Stranger || Kim Seungmin

Part 1 :: Introduction

Pairing :: Seungmin x FemReader

Summary :: Breakups are sorrowful and lead only to misery, and the best way to cope with it is peaceful music and a tub of ice cream. However, when you’re deprived of your favorite music, and you’re the only one who can listen to this new song, things take a small turn.

Word count :: 1131

Warnings :: None ^^

A/N :: My first tumblr fanfic, yay! I’m still figuring this thing out, but meanwhile here’s a soft soulmate au for you to enjoy ;)

                                                          ***

Three days.

It had been three whole days since your boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend Aiden had told you that he fell out of love and broken your heart. You were a hundred percent sure that he was the one for you, but apparently, he didn’t think the same.

You were nearly twenty-five years old, your birthday approaching in just a few hours. Instead of preparing for a party, you had tissues, your comfort food, and your sad movie playing in the background as the room echoed with your sobs.

You were one of the last people in your friend group to turn twenty-five, and most had found their soulmates already. 

Over the past thousand years, finding your soulmate wasn’t the same as it is now. People used to mingle, find people whose personalities were compatible with theirs and consider them as soulmates.

Now, however, people had soulmate tattoos, soulmate’s direction given to them in some sort of manner, the number of years their soulmate had left, feel the same things as their soulmate, and so on branded into their body at the age of twenty-five.

Nobody really knew where they came from, but just accepted it as fate at went hunting for their soulmates.

In just a few hours, you would get to know the name of your soulmate, who just has to be your Aiden, there’s no way your personality matched with anyone else. In fact, most people never understood you and tended to stay away from you.

Every time you looked around and saw anything, just anything that had to do with him, you would feel a pang in your heart and remember all of his harsh words, about how you never did anything for him or even spent some time with him.

The song playing in the background had now changed and was playing ‘Eyes, nose, lips’, and all the memories of your first dates with Aiden came back when he would explain the meaning of the song and you would cry and pout at how deep at sad it was.

Mianhae-mianhaehaji ma

Naega chorahaejijana—

Domino, domino, domino, domino, domino, domino

Han beon kkattakamyeon domino

Domino, domino, domino, domino, domino, domino

Dan-dan-dan-dan!

Your depressing time with Taeyang’s beautiful voice was cut short when another song started playing abruptly, full of hype. You shrieked immediately, the beat was suddenly too fast and it was too loud compared to your whole playlist.

You flailed your hand around your bed for your phone to change the song, but your phone continued to tell you that it was Eyes, Nose, Lips playing. You were confused, the song was wrecking your brain and it wasn’t even playing?

You tried everything, turning your phone off and back on, removing the memory card, and putting it back on, but the music didn’t stop. Your head was aching because of how loud it was, and the song didn’t stop even after you threw your phone across the room.

As soon as you screamed because of the pain in your head, the music stopped and the only sound heard in your room was the movie playing in the background. Breathing heavily, you lied down on your back, confused about what the hell had just happened.

For about fifteen minutes, nothing happened. A few dialogues from the movie, but other than that it was quiet. 

And then there it was. However, this time the volume it was playing at was much softer, and it seemed like a sad song. You got up from your bed and checked every phone or electronic device that could emit that sound but to your dismay, you found none.

You walked around the house, but the music did not seem to grow faint at all. You walked out of your house, frustrated, but the song continued. You walked down to your neighbors’ house, and the song obviously continued. It felt like you were wearing some kind of headphones, invisible headphones.

Knocking down your neighbors’ door, you tried to look for any signs that the songs were being blasted at their house, but they weren’t. The door opened soon enough, revealing Y/F/N, one of the people who you might’ve called a friend a few years back, but the two of you barely interacted anymore.

“Y/N hi! It’s been so long—”

“Listen Y/F/N can you hear that?” There was a minute of silence where Y/F/N looked around but shook her head immediately. You were still hearing the music, but it seemed like Y/F/N wasn’t able to.

“There’s nothing here are you sure you’re oka—”

“It’s so loud how can you not hear it! Wait let me hum the tune.” You stopped and hummed along with the current tune, probably sounding nothing like it counting your terrible singing skills. Y/F/N looked at you confusedly and gave you a pitiful look when you were done with your so-called singing.

“I can’t hear whatever you’re talking about Y/N, but hey, happy birthday!” She exclaimed, and then it hit you.

You were listening to whatever your soulmate was listening to.

For the past three days, you wanted to continue crying with your bucket of ice cream with Aiden, but apparently, your soulmate had some other plans. Loud music, fast beats seemed like their jam for most of the time. And the plus point was, it seemed like all songs were in Korean. It must have been an old one, you never really had heard of it before and that’s saying a lot, kpop was your whole life.

Y/F/N had been coming over a lot more, reminiscing the time you had spent together in the past, helping you get over Aiden, trying to figure out your soulmate, and lifting your spirits altogether.

It was a mixed feeling you were getting inside your head, like you wanted to cry and laugh out loud at the same time. Y/F/N took pleasure in teasing you, happy for you that your soulmate knew kpop, or you might’ve ripped their head off.

In a few minutes, Stray Kids, one of your favorite bands, would be releasing their new album, and you were crazy hyped. You had seen all the teaser photos and couldn’t help but fangirl over them, temporarily forgetting all your woes.

Hearing your notification go off, you and Y/F/N started screaming, waiting for the legendary boys to come on screen and let you die in peace.

The title track, named ‘Cheese’ started off with the most addicting tune, which was vaguely familiar to you, but as soon as the further parts came on, you stopped screeching and the realization hit you.

Your soulmate was constantly listening to songs of the album before it was even released

                                                          ***

Written by Adi <3

[hydra-collector]

love & death & kisses

AO3

Pairings: Anxceit, platonic Analogical

Characters: Virgil Sanders, Janus Sanders, Logan Sanders, Roman Sanders (mentioned), Remus Sanders (mentioned)

TW: suicide attempts, self-harm, cursing, panic attacks, v v v slightly implied sexual content, food

Words: 4,153

Summary: Virgil meets someone.

Note: Human AU, I’m bad at naming, bad at summaries, Janus is ooc, i swear this is one of my better fics

Rain seeped into Virgil’s clothes, making him even colder than he already was. He’d forgotten his umbrella at work, so he’d have to get it tomorrow. Funny how things work that way. You put things off to the side for a rainy day, but when you need them they’re not there.

A tall, slim man stood beside him. He would usually avoid other people at the train station as much as he could, but he didn’t care at this point. He was cold, tired, in a depressive episode, and frankly too out of it to care.

The other man didn’t have an umbrella either, but seemed much less bothered by it. He checked his phone occasionally, but only typed something once or twice, aside from a seemingly frustrating venture on Google Maps from what Virgil could see. He was more on edge by whatever he was seeing on his phone than the weather.

“Excuse me, do you know where the nearest hotel is?”

The first thing he noticed was that the man was absolutely beautiful.

The second was his scar.

A wide scar, seemingly a burn mark, covered the entirety of the left side of his face. It traveled down his neck and past his shirt where Virgil couldn’t see it. His left hand had it as well, a pair of gloves stuffed in his pocket. His eyes were also heterochromatic, one much paler than the dark brown of the other.

Virgil didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially after the earlier events of the day, but he tried his best. He subtly hugged his side to provide pressure comfort.

“I think there’s one a couple blocks from Edwards Station. I don’t remember if it’s south or north. I can check.”

Virgil pulled out his own phone and found that it was half a mile north. Logan had sent him a text asking him why he was so late. He didn’t want to explain that he had to spend an hour on a bench in the pouring rain, trying to calm down from a panic attack. The stranger confirmed and checked his phone again, sighing when he didn’t find what he wanted.

Virgil could see his screen slightly. He’d been talking to a contact named April, both of them using a lot of cursewords angrily at each other. It looked like a pretty bad breakup. He figured he’d been kicked out.

The train arrived a few minutes after that. Virgil was never going to be comfortable with the thought of a big, heavy object rocketing in his general direction, but he wasn’t attempting suicide or anything at the moment. He learned to deal with it.

“Sorry, Logan, I’m here now.”

Logan had been Virgil’s roommate for almost three years now. He’d been his best friend even longer. He was the one there for him when he needed it most.

“What happened?”

Logan was making dinner for the two of them, which Virgil was disappointed to find out. The rule was they could make each other meals, but whoever made it got to choose what it was, and Virgil has never known Logan to make anything junkier than chili. Virgil had got him to eat macaroni and cheese a few times, so he counted that as a win.

“I… had a pretty bad panic attack.”

“Is there anything I can do to help now?”

“I think I’ll be okay. You don’t give bad hugs, though.”

Logan smiled slightly and hugged his friend firmly. He’d looked up the best ways to comfort people physically and figured out what was best for Virgil.

“Thanks, L. What’s for dinner?”

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to make it yourself.”

“Hey, you have plenty! You’re using two pans!”

“You hate fish, Virgil.”

“That’s fish? Ew.”

“What did you think it was?”

Virgil shrugged.

“Go get dry clothes.”

Virgil changed into another, softer hoodie and sweatpants. He figured he’d get something to eat later. He could go a couple hours scrolling on Tumblr or something before he’d be really hungry.

When he turned his phone on, it was still open to the hotel directions.

I hope that guy’s alright.

He’d seen him a few times before, he realized. The unmistakable bleached hair against the man’s dark clothing he recognized had never been put to a face, but he’d been at the train station a few times before. Virgil vaguely wondered if he got off work at the same time as he did and it was a coincidence seeing him today since his whole thing with April, or whoever.

You don’t know what happened, shut up.

Virgil squeezed his arm with his fingernails, hoping to make his self-hate go away.

Today was exhausting.

He didn’t want to go to work the next day.

~~

He’d had another bad day. His boss complained about the quality of his work again. It seemed he was fucking everything up lately. He’d gotten Roman angry at him for an insult accidentally personal, and Logan angry at him because he’d started cutting again. Who could blame him, though? It was just so much easier to cope by hurting than actually trying to help himself. At least he was still showering.

At least it wasn’t raining.

It felt like it, though. There was weight on his shoulders and chest, and he needed to cry. He wished he could afford a therapist. Then again, did he even deserve help?

Stop.

His inner voice was right. He should stop being so self-deprecating, it was annoying, he’d always been an attention seek-

Stop.

Virgil exhaled, rubbing his forehead and sitting down on the bench instead of standing for the train.

“Didn’t get to thank you. For the directions.”

“Hm?”

It was the man again. This was the first time he’d seen him in the few days since then.

“I needed a place to stay, thanks for telling me where it was. I tried looking it up, then texting my girlfriend to ask her if… I ran out of data, I wouldn’t have been able to get there if you didn’t tell me.”

“Oh. You’re welcome. Glad you found the hotel.”

He half-wished he didn’t have to talk to anyone right now, but something drew him towards this man.

And then he initiated a conversation. For once in his life.

“You just get off work?”

“Yeah. I work at the zoo. Reptile house.”

“Wow. I just have a boring tech job. I’m assuming you like reptiles, which one’s your favorite?”

“It’s basic, but I’ve always liked snakes. I have three.”

“I could never handle snakes. I know they probably won’t hurt me, but I’m anxious about everything.”

Am I oversharing? Should I be talking about my anxiety? Is that weird?

“I have a deathly fear of spiders, so that’s valid.”

Virgil would have said something else, but the train came, and it was difficult to talk onboard. It was weird how easy it was to talk to this person, even though he’d just met him.

~~

They’d got to talking about snakes.

Big breeds, small breeds, the most dangerous, the least dangerous kinds of snakes. Virgil swore he was being converted to like reptiles by this man. He talked about them with so much excitement, more than he showed any other time. Mostly he was calm and collected, a bit like Logan.

“I never got your name.”

“Oh, it’s Janus.”

Like, Janice?

“As in the Roman god, not like suburban mom.”

“Ah. Virgil.”

Neither of them smiled often, so whenever someone who knew them saw the smile, it always made them a bit happier as well. It was already happening with them, even a week or two into knowing each other.

“What kind of snakes do you have?”

“I’ve got a green tree python, a corn snake, and a ball python. Diana, Mercury, Liber.”

“All Roman names, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m a bit of a nerd.”

“It’s fitting.”

It was so easy to talk to him. More so than any other stranger. Usually he’d get anxious and all his energy would be expended (he usually had a mental breakdown if it was a lot of people). Something about him, the way he talks, moves, looks at Virgil. He’s like a reptile.

Don’t get a crush on him. He’s probably straight.

Maybe he isn’t, though. He could be bi or pan or something.

The train interrupted their conversation, but Virgil kept glancing over at Janus throughout. He was looking down at his phone, he must’ve gotten more service. Virgil got off after him, but it gave him time to consider Janus before he got home.

“Logan, I’m getting a crush on a straight guy and I just found out his name today.”

“You’re odd, Virgil.”

“He’s hot. And he likes snakes.”

“You hate snakes. Wouldn’t someone with an interest in spiders be more akin to you?”

“...He’s scared of spiders.”

“Virgil…”

~~

And he did get a crush on Janus.

They talked every day they saw each other, finally remembering they could exchange numbers. They spent months getting to know each other with pretty limited interactions, as neither of them texted or called much anyway. It wasn’t exactly a good thing, though, because he either spent his time at work thinking about Janus, panicking because his boss was mad at him because he wasn’t doing his work (because he was thinking about Janus), or completely depressed because he was angry at her for giving him a panic attack. And the cycle would continue.

It turned out April was his girlfriend, and they’d been in an unhappy relationship for a year or so. He was glad she’d broke it off, but was left without a house for a while. He’d managed to share an apartment with his friend Remus and that was going okay. Virgil didn’t tell him about his depression, but was open enough about his anxiety. Luckily for Virgil, he mentioned an ex-boyfriend.

He was not straight. Maybe he had a chance.

Are you kidding? He’s not gonna want to date you, worthless bitch. You can’t make him deal with your mental health, and he probably hates you anyway.

Their interactions were mostly limited to the train station, but that only meant Virgil appreciated them even more.

Still, he wished he could be happy.

The only times he was were, well, when he was talking to Janus and when Logan gave him hugs. Talking to Logan was enjoyable, but he kept reminding himself about everything going on, everything wrong with himself, how he kept fucking up, and cutting and wanting to kill himself. With Janus, he forgot. It was so easy to smile and laugh at sarcastic jokes and the cute things he did, like blush when he laughed and stick out his tongue unintentionally.

Time flew by when they were together. There wasn’t enough time before the train came to talk nearly as long as Virgil would have liked. Still, every interaction was worth it. His love for Janus grew the more he talked about what he does, and he actually seemed interested in Virgil’s job, even though he swore it must be the most boring on the planet.

“I think you’ve conquered my fear of snakes, Janus.”

“What’s this? I’ve shown my little ball of anxiety the ways of the snake with my own love for him and reptiles.”

My little ball of anxiety? And did he just say he loved me?

Was he thinking about this too much?

One corner of his mouth was raised in a smile and Virgil couldn’t help but blush, however much he wanted to ignore it. Janus chuckled slightly and picked up the conversation again, mentioning how Diana had gotten out and managed to get herself on the couch. Virgil proceeded as well, debating whether it meant anything or not.

~~

Virgil felt sick.

He felt all things horrible. Depressed, anxious, angry, hopeless, and worthless.

Over and over it repeated.

“I’m afraid someone as unstable as you isn’t fit to work here.”

Unstable.

Unhealthy.

Worthless.

Useless.

What was he going to do? He wouldn’t have money to keep living with Logan, he had to go through the stress of finding another job, people would judge him, he wouldn’t even be able to eat.

There was nothing he could do.

He trembled as he made his way to the train station. He was going to have a panic attack. Hell, maybe he was already having a panic attack. He wanted to cry but he wouldn’t cry. He had to go home and explain to Logan and he’d just have to live until-

No you don’t.

Of course he didn’t.

He was going to the train station, goddamnit.

He rubbed his hands on his face, static buzzing in his ears as tears almost came. This was going to be okay. It was all going to be okay. Finally.

He went up a different set of stairs, avoiding Janus. As he walked, the static slowly faded and was replaced with silence. Chosen silence, that is. He could hear the cars and the wind and the rain that had just begun to fall.

Fitting.

The train was early today, thank God. Its rumbling was familiar from the distance.

He took his last few steps to the edge of the platform, ignoring the tiny bit of anxiety that came with jumping down. He vaguely heard his name called over and over by the deep voice he knew well by now. He ignored it as well, starting with a slow walk, letting the raindrops soak into his hoodie. The walk sped up, and the rain got heavier, blurring out the train’s lights in a pretty way. He forced the muffled sound of his name out again, but it was getting louder.

There’s nothing you can do.

The walk got faster and turned into a run. He needed to catch the train before it slowed down.

Funny. Catching the train.

His ears pounded with the silence. So many things to distract him, things he loved. The awful sound of rain, knowing you’re going to get wet, but reveling in it anyway. The patter of feet on ground, now wood and gravel. And his voice, his beautiful voice.

The screech from the train stopped all other sounds, even splitting the silence in the bubble he created. It was warm, he hoped it was blood, so warm, so wonderfully warm.

Janus had never hugged Virgil.

He’d assumed he wasn’t one for being touchy-feely. He was tall and handsome, like the stereotypical distant, sexy man. But he wasn’t distant. He was there when Virgil needed him, even if he didn’t always know it. He put a hand on his shoulder or took Virgil’s hands in his to calm him down. He wished he’d gotten to know what kind of embrace he would have. Was it soft? Was it firm like Logan’s? Was it too tight? Was it always awkward like some people’s?

More than that, he wanted to know how his kisses were.

He imagined them soft, then passionate. Like something Virgil had always needed, the sweet feeling of pure love. He imagined he was the type to give solemn forehead kisses when a moment was serious, and short nose ones when the moments were playful. He imagined he’d kiss wherever he could on someone’s face, on his cheeks and chin, nose, lips, neck. They’d all be perfect for the occasion. There was a difference between a peck on someone’s cheek and smushing his lips against someone’s face. A slow kiss to the jaw was different from a badly-aimed one. Every subtle difference in position would say something new.

“I love you.”

“Shut up.”

“I need you right now.”

“You need me.”

He wished he’d learned every message. He wished he’d kissed Janus before today. He wished he’d at least told him and got rejected like he knew he would. He wished he could have everything. A hug and a kiss saying ‘it’s going to be okay. Nothing’s gonna happen to you. It’s-’

“-going to be okay.”

The sound of the rain hit the stones sharply, akin to the feeling on his back. Voices shouting, his voice, and a new sound.

His heart.

Virgil let himself sink into the rhythm and the feeling of warmth that encompassed him. Something was soft through the damp fabric, moving slightly every now and then. It was the pressure of something, a body-

-Janus.

He opened his eyes to see the blurry outline of blond hair covering Janus’s face. He raised his arm slowly to push it away, just then noticing the arms wrapped tightly around him, using the most of their surface area.

Janus’s eyes were beautiful and sad, was he- crying? Virgil couldn’t tell if it was the rain or tears until he sobbed, hugging Virgil even tighter, burying his face in his shoulder and muttering words Virgil couldn’t hear.

Virgil realized he was crying too. Of course he was crying, he was… alive.

He was alive.

“I’m sorry, Virgil. Please, please know I’m here for you.”

Virgil said nothing, still mute from shock. So many things happened just then, and now he was being hugged. And it was perfect, despite the rain.

“I could’ve- should’ve died.”

“No, Virgil, you shouldn’t have. You couldn’t have, I’d never let you.”

Did he really care?

“I need to- I need to tell you something.”

This could go horribly wrong.

I don’t care anymore. I’ve made the most impulsive decision of my life today, might as well make another.

Virgil took his hand to push Janus’s chin up, thumb tracing the scar closer to his lips.

“Can I-”

“Can I kiss you, Jan?”

He let his head drop towards Virgil’s, lips so close now. He would have smiled his snake smile if he could have felt an ounce of a smile.

Virgil pressed his parted lips to Janus’s, hand resting on the back of his neck. He pulled his fingers through his wet hair, feeling its softness even now.

It was everything he had imagined.

At first it was soft and tender, but Janus deepened it, hand wriggling out from under Virgil to hold his face. The raindrops drowned out that moment from the outside world. Janus’s heart quickened, as did Virgil’s, but they both relaxed into it. The scar was rough against Virgil’s face sometimes, but it only made him want him more. All either of them could hear were the raindrops contrasting with their hearts.

Virgil wanted to kiss him longer, hold this forever. When they did break, Janus laid his burned cheek against Virgil’s.

“Do you need to go home?”

He thought of Logan and how upset he was when Virgil cut, how hard he tried and how bad he felt for him. And how bad Virgil felt for hurting him.

“Can we go to your place? It’s... closer.”

“Oh- I suppose we could. I doubt Remus will be there.”

They avoided the people trying to help Virgil, weaving through the few scattered onlookers, Janus’s arm resting around Virgil’s waist. Virgil was scared he would have a panic attack again and tried to focus on Janus.

He called a cab as he wasn’t about to take the train after that, and sat in the backseat with Virgil, not letting him go for a second. It was expensive and Virgil tried to get Janus to let him pay, but he didn’t have much of an argument. Janus half-carried Virgil up the stairs and into his apartment.

It was clean, which Virgil guessed was Janus’s doing given what he’d said about Remus, and fairly dark. It wasn’t the kind of dark that made you feel uneasy, but rather as in lighted only with soft ambient light. He didn’t get a good look at their living room before Janus pulled him into his bedroom. It was painted a pretty yellow and lit with a color changing lamp, which Janus turned to purple.

He sat Virgil down on the bed, who was still rather dazed from the day. Janus rummaged through his clothing drawers until he found a shirt smaller than the others and an old-looking pair of sweatpants.

“Here, you can change into this.”

Janus grabbed some clothes for himself and left the room for a moment, allowing him privacy. Virgil removed his soaked hoodie and Evanescence t-shirt, putting on the soft purple one Janus had found. It had short sleeves, but he didn’t have anything to lose at this point. He put on the sweatpants, soft and warm and opened the door for Janus. He was changed into a big hoodie that Virgil would kill to wear.

“Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah, I- I think so. Sorry about the, the cuts.”

“It’s okay, Virgil. If you want me to get you something with long sleeves-”

“I think I’ll just end up stealing your hoodie at some point. Otherwise… it’s fine.”

“Okay.”

Virgil sat down on the bed again, craving the soft blankets. Janus took his spot beside him, wrapping one arm around his shoulders.

“Thanks, Jan. It- I’m, I’m alive because of you. I don’t know how I could repay that.”

“Tell me when this happens, and I’d die happy.”

Virgil smiled, leaning against Janus. He pushed himself against the wall, pulling Virgil along with him. He heaved the thick blanket around him and Virgil, but mostly Virgil. He snuggled into the weight and comfort, still sitting against Janus as if he were the only thing keeping him balanced.

“What happened today?”

“I got… fired. ‘Cause I’m too depressed to work. I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“I can help you find a job, V. It doesn’t have to be the end.”

“Sometimes it just… feels that way. Like you’re never going to get out of this pit of loneliness and you’re sure everyone hates you, and you’re so scared something will go wrong all the time even though you don’t really care.”

“I don’t hate you. And I know you can end this the healthy way. Shall we start with some ice cream?”

“Ice cream’s not exactly healthy, Janus.”

“Ssshh.”

He left for a moment and returned with two tubs of chocolate ice cream and a spoon for each of them.

“No bowls? And two whole tubs?”

“Mhm. It’s better that way. And you could have both of them if you asked.”

“Nah, you deserve some ice cream too. I probably hurt you a lot by doing that.”

“Mm-mm, Virgil. You’re hurting, not me. Self-care rule number one: you’re better than everyone for a while, put your feelings first.”

“I’m not.”

“Pretend. Now, what would you like to do?”

Virgil considered the question for a moment. It might be nice to listen to music, or to distract himself with a game or movie, but he didn’t really want that.

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

“I… want to kiss you.”

Janus turned pink for a moment, before smiling his smile with one corner of his mouth.

Before he could say anything that he wanted to, Virgil kissed that smile. He wondered what it would be like to do so many times, so he wasn’t going to miss his opportunity. He put his ice cream down to hold Janus’s face with cold fingers, savoring the feeling of the little half-smile turning surprised and then into a giddy smile that began to kiss back. Virgil grinned when it ended, looking back into Janus’s eyes.

“So you’re going to surprise kiss me now?”

“Yep-”

Janus, just as quickly as Virgil had, kissed him quick on the nose, eliciting a blush from Virgil this time.

“Unfair, Janus.”

“Nah.”

“I’m gonna pout and eat my ice cream now.”

“Is there anything else we can do while eating ice cream?”

“I suppose we could watch a movie.”

“Lion King?”

“...Lion King? I mean, yeah, sure, okay!”

He smiled as Janus put the movie on, his familiar excitement seeping through. Virgil managed to wrestle the soft hoodie from him, revealing that one, he had no shirt, and two, that Virgil would cuddle Janus’s burn marks and he appreciated that. As Virgil fell asleep next to him, he pressed his lips to his forehead, who was just awake enough to feel.

And one by one, the messages were unlocked to him. Once, after a dance, came the desperate, passionate kiss that told him “I need to kiss you.” One Disney marathon he came to feel the peppered kisses on his cheeks that said “You’re adorable.” After a weekend trip alone he got the long cheek kiss that said ‘I missed you.’ When he finally got a job, he was given the messy kiss, cheeks held tight that said “I’m so proud of you.” One tired night he blushed at the kisses on his jaw and neck that said “You’re hot and I’m bored.”

And again and again and again, the tender forehead kisses that said “I’m here for you. I love you.”

[blouisparadise]

Another incredible year of fics is complete!

This list is always nearly impossible to make, so keep in mind that this is just a small selection out of hundreds of incredible bottom Louis fics that were posted this year. We hope every fic writer feels appreciated because your works mean so much to this fandom. And we hope there will be even more amazing BL fics coming out in 2020!

The fics are listed by length and we included AO3 usernames and links to the writers’ Tumblr accounts if we could find them - so please go give these people love! And give love to every other writer who wrote a bottom Louis fic that you read and enjoyed this year.

All Bottom Louis Fic Fest fics - click this link to the December BLFF masterpost!

This list would be twice as long if we included all the fics for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest, so we’ve decided to instead simply link to the December masterpost of BLFF fics. These fics are ALL favorites of ours this year, so check them all out and give them love!

That Summer Feeling by laurelhips / @laurelhips | Explicit | 2093 words

"It was still a lazy summer evening, the sun was still floating in the sky and the balcony window was letting in a warm breeze. Harry thumbed at Louis’ hipbone, easing his lips off Louis’ skin just to mumble “Turn over, darling.” Louis cracked a small smile, turning over slowly and revealing the back half of his naked body. Harry’s tongue felt too big for his mouth. He swallowed as he took in the sight. He’d never get tired of this."

How Easy You Are To Need by sweetums / @darlou | Explicit | 2356 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

A day in the life type of drabble where Harry returns home after a business trip to his boy and a surprise visit from his niece.

Fine Line by Speechless | Explicit | 3281 words

This is just a tiny fanfiction that in my head was really just a Survival Instinct spin off, but then became a thing of its own.

No One But You Got Me Feeling This Way by runaway_train / @runaway-train-works | Explicit | 3787 words

Harry is well aware he should be studying or watching T.V or cleaning the kitchen or doing literally anything from a list as long as his arm instead of this, but he is. The list of reasons why he shouldn’t be doing this is probably at least double that, but here he most definitely is. He’s sitting on his bed, legs straight out in front of him, back propped up against the headboard and some fluffed-up pillows and his MacBook is resting on his thighs. His jittery fingers drum lightly on the edge of the keyboard as he stares at the tiny digital clock in the top right hand corner of the screen, willing the seconds to tick by faster. He wants to get into this and get it over with in equal measures.

Like Sangria by Harryskiwiposes / @hadtobelou | Explicit | 4152 words

As he looked up to the ceiling he imagined what it would feel like to have this man all to himself, all night long. He wanted the man in his bed, spread out underneath him, his skin begging to be kissed by a little more than just the sun.

Harry let out a small chuckle at the thought because he hadn’t even wanted to come on this beach vacation in the first place - he had wanted to go sightseeing in New York City. However, Niall and Liam had outnumbered him and so two days ago they had all boarded a plane to Jamaica for a lads holiday celebrating Liam’s thirtieth birthday.

Digging his fingers into the man’s hips, Harry sent a silent prayer up to the heavens that he was currently not sightseeing in New York and was instead on his way to hooking up with the sexiest man he had ever encountered.

Bad Idea! by rina_a / @lougendarey | Explicit | 4247 words

“I’m gonna ruin you.” And words had never felt so real in his life. Harry was going to ruin him in every way and Louis knew it. He had memories scattered all throughout his brain of the pain and pleasure of being destroyed by Harry. The feeling of ecstasy he was currently experiencing outweighed how much it was going to hurt in the next morning when Harry vanished. He was melting under Harry’s touch and that was the only thing that mattered. He could feel Harry’s smooth and strong biceps under his hands as he arched his back against the car door, unsure if he was leaning into Harry’s lips or moving away from them.

Can You Feel The Fever by delsicle / @emperorstyles | Explicit | 5113 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

Tour has Harry exhausted. Luckily exactly what he needs is waiting for him in his Sacramento dressing room.

Gotta Catch 'Em All by larryent / @larryent | Explicit | 5186 words

Louis loves Pokémon GO, he gets a little crazy and ends up ramming into a guy. Harry gets mad, calls him a brat and treats him like one. Oh, and they're in central park.

I'm Slipping Under by purpledandelion / @purpledandelion | Explicit | 5351 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

What better way would there actually exist than starting it filthily with Louis falling apart on his tongue? Nothing else could have surpassed that.

Nothing.

That's what Harry had thought at first, at least.

Just Fuck by rbbsbb / @rbbsbb | Explicit | 5565 words

Louis’ so drunk off Harry, though—even more than all of the drinks that he’s had—that he doesn’t even want to look anywhere else. He’s dying for it, for Harry to hold him down and fill him up, mark him inside.

Burnt & Tied Up by tilthesundies / @tllthesundies | Explicit | 6327 words

Come to the show tonight, Harry told him. Begged him. Pleaded with him.

Louis isn’t doing this for him.

Act Out | by feermartsant / @boldbabe | Explicit | 6721 words

Harry leans forward so he's closer to Louis's ear, and murmurs, "If I was your husband, I'd never let you out of my sight."

It’s ridiculous. He is his husband. There’s hundreds of photos, and official papers, and rings, and two babies with the last name Tomlinson Styles that prove it. But it’s also possessive, and hot and Louis doesn’t know what he was expecting when Harry told him he wanted to try roleplaying a little, but so far he’s not complaining.

Kisses and Coffee Breaks by youreyesonlarry / @youreyesonlarry | Explicit | 9350 words

Midterm season was finally here and all Harry wanted to do was study, however his boyfriend, Louis, seems to have a better idea.

Tattooed Heart by KrisStylinson / @zourry-a | Explicit | 10035 words

Note: This is a sequel to this fic.

“Is that fucking real?”

Harry grins. “Feel for yourself.”

A curious hand comes to trace over Harry’s chest, sighing in awe. “Harry.”

He watches him as he does it and wishes he had a camera on him, because the sight of Louis’ dainty hand caressing the beautiful L written in intricate cursive right over Harry’s heart has to be the single greatest thing he’s ever seen.

“Like it?” he asks.

“Harry,” Louis repeats, suddenly digging his thumb into the skin as if it was going to disappear at any second—it wasn’t, something Harry’s tattoo artist made sure of. “That’s—that’s permanent.”

“You’re permanent,” Harry replies, simple as can be.

Little White Lies by wickedarcher_08 / @wicked-archer | Explicit | 10450 words

Louis makes an off hand comment in an interview then comes home to find Harry has laid his old braces out on their bed.

All The Strings Attached by floweredhalo / @floweredhalo | Not Rated | 10517 words

“He wasn’t good enough for you anyway, H,” Louis says and continues eating. Harry’s still reeling from the fact that Louis is jealous. Part of him wants to prove that Louis has nothing to be jealous about, that Harry is fully Louis’ and no one else’s. The other part wants to punish Louis for acting spoiled. But Harry can’t act on either urge, he tightens his hand into a fist in his lap instead.

“No, he wasn’t. He didn’t quite fit the job.”

“Harry, it wouldn’t be a job to date you. It would be lovely,” Louis says, almost in a whisper. They’re sitting closer, Harry just now notices. Louis’ body is completely angled towards Harry and Harry’s body is not far behind.

Your Sins, My Vices by Jennifer_Kaid | Explicit | 12582 words

Louis hates soulmates. Harry has waited his whole life for one.

This Glorious Mess by theweightofmywords / @sunflowerrlouis | Mature | 14260 words

His head lolls to the side, and his eyes float open to focus on what used to be his bedside table.

It’s empty now, devoid of the framed photo of the two of them. And Louis knows that he has no right to feel hurt, but somehow, this only confirms what this really is.

“This is the last time,” he cries, his voice breaking both from pleasure and pain.

“I know, baby,” Harry breathes, burying his face in Louis neck.

Pleasure Over Matter by summerwine / @smrwine | Explicit | 15204 words

Harry is a bit out of his element, and an unsuspecting stranger provides him temporary relief.

Everywhere And Nowhere by 2tiedships2 / @2tiedships2 | Mature | 16547 words

Niall took a seat and said, “Apparently Louis’ downstairs neighbor is a fan of giving Louis creepy gifts. Maybe I should go introduce myself and tell him that Louis actually prefers food.”

“What has he given you?” Liam asked.

Louis shrugged as it were no big deal. “There was a rabbit’s foot keychain on the door a little after he left from introducing himself and there was a small teddy bear sitting by my door tonight. Obviously I can’t prove it’s from him, but they seem to have his scent. I could be wrong though.”

“Wow,” Liam said, looking deep in thought. “That’s old school.”

“What’s old school?” Niall asked. “Giving creepy gifts?”

“I’ve never known an alpha to do it, to be honest, but he’s courting you.”

Louis couldn’t contain his look of disbelief directed at Liam. “He’s courting me. Like some sort of romantic shit they’d do in the 1800s or something?”

Tonight's Not Over (Come Over And Stay) by louistomlinsons / @microlouis | Explicit | 16690 words

Zayn doesn’t say anything for a moment, pausing and worrying at his bottom lip. Finally, he asks, “Have you heard that Cox guy is coming out with a new song?” Louis freezes, fingers hovering over his keyboard where they had been typing his password. “No, I hadn’t,” Louis says truthfully. “Where did you hear that?” “Tell anyone this and I’ll kill you, but I’d consider myself a big fan,” Zayn says. His face doesn’t change in expression, completely serious as he admits this to Louis. “Big fan? Like run a blog and everything?”

I Been Feeling High When I Touch Your Body by notasawrap / @notasawrap | Not Rated | 16946 words

Harry is a boxer, Louis is an architect and Liam is the worst cupid that could ever exist.

The Post-War BP by jaerie / @jaerie | Explicit | 17732 words

The eight year war has left the country’s birthrate severely stunted with a lack of virile alphas left to bring it back up. To ensure the survival of the country, the government opens The Breeding Program where young omegas can apply to carry an alpha’s child in exchange for benefits. Louis’ family is struggling and the BP is one of the only ways to secure a roof over their heads. Harry was drafted at the age of eighteen and spent six years of his life defending a country he doesn’t recognize when he returns home. The government made the bed but it’s Harry that has to lie in it.

Be Mine, Dear by louisgrindsonharry | Not Rated | 20104 words

It really wasn’t fair. He was the oldest of all of them. He’s the one who dreamed about being bonded his whole life, while Liam laughed at the idea, until he met Sophia. Niall had always been indifferent, but when he met Heather six months ago, everything changed for him. He quickly went from being the only omega around two alpha’s, to the odd omega out. And it really wasn’t fair, because Liam and Niall both still protected him just as much as the did before, just as much they do their new mates now, but he was still bitter about it, so he’d pity himself as much as he wanted.

Deflower Me by thelesserneptune / @quelquesetoiles | Explicit | 20154 words

Everyone is 19 and horny, and Louis just really wants to get fucked by Harry.

Going My Way by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom | Explicit | 20261 words

"Hey Harry. Really sorry to do this to you but an emergency has come up with Vera’s mum and we’ve had to jump a flight home. My mate Louis is going to take over my LYFT clients while I’m away. He’s got my car and my phone and everything else. Hope that’s okay. He’s a good guy and I think you two are going to get along brilliantly. Catch you soon, Benny."

Drunk in Love (Last Thing I Remember) by MrsStylinson / @lovehoperomance | Mature | 22102 words

The one where Louis wakes up, naked, in a stranger’s bed and has no idea how he got there. Maybe it’s foul play. Maybe it’s just the kindness of a handsome stranger amused by his drunken antics.

Etched in Salt (Is a Cathedral of the World) by HelloAmHere / @helloamhere | Explicit | 24416 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH. This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis asks for very few things in life, and they are: to solve cases, to keep bad people from doing their bad things, to get good coffee, to go home to a spacious apartment with nobody else in it, and to manage his stupid telempathy powers with minimal interference. And now he’s stuck in a tiny cabin in a snowstorm in the middle of god-awful-nowhere with Harry Styles. Because of course he is.

Welcome Back From The Friend Zone by 2tiedships2 / @2tiedships2 | Mature | 32354 words

The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

Close to Nowhere by angelichl / @angelichl | Explicit | 34589 words

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat by angelichl / @angelichl | Explicit | 34572 words

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

If I Stay by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings | Mature | 37226 words

Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

The Only North Star by Skyebyrd / @skyebyrd | Explicit | 39299 words

A story told in two parts.

Part one: Harry meets Louis at NYU and falls immediately and deeply in love, despite Louis’ overbearing boyfriend. Harry interns at the local Daily Bugle as part of the Superhero/Crime Liaison Unit and learns how to study and track superheroes and villains and the damage they inflict on the citizens of NYC. Harry does what he believes to be the right thing. Come the end of the school year, he uncovers more than what he cares to know.

Part two: Louis gets bitten, gets sick, and gets strange powers (which come with…strange responsibilities). He has to learn to control them while also helping NYC’s most famous superheroes to fight off NYC’s newest, baddest supervillain. He also has to figure out his slowly detangling relationship with Harry. He only has the summer to save the city, and Harry.

Latibule by thelesserneptune / @quelquesetoiles | Mature | 49946 words

A Spirited Away AU of sorts where Louis just wants to heal and be left alone, only for all his plans to be destroyed by the hands of an infuriating British God.

Dog Got Your Tongue? by seducedbycurls / @seduced-by-curls | Not Rated | 50914 words

Louis is a dog walker.

Waiting for the Tides to Meet by nauticalleeds / @nauticalleeds | Explicit | 59637 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate’s. It’s only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he’ll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis’ workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis’ heart.

I Just Wanna Get Back to Us by louiesunshine / @louiesunshine | Mature | 62131 words

Where Harry and Louis are divorced soulmates who are seeing each other for the first time in two years.

Swallow The Knife by whoknows / @crazyupsetter | Explicit | 76168 words

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

Consequences by allwaswell16 / @allwaswell16 | Explicit | 78566 words

Two years ago Harry let his powerful family come between him and the love of his life, something he deeply regrets. Louis has tried to move on from their devastating break up. Sometimes, he even thinks he has. It only takes one moment to freeze them back in time.

An amnesia AU.

Like Water Over Fire (Like Water On Fire) by MCSSymon / @mcssymon | Mature | 119264 words

Prince Harry has 46 men and 13 weeks to find the husband of his dreams, Louis has a limited amount to time to live out a royal fantasy. They might just be exactly what the other needs.

Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices by Toomanytears / @toomanydreamers | Mature | 126057 words

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they’re forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

Inevitable by Etoilenoire | Mature | 185917 words

AU where Louis and Harry used to be more than friends, but everything had to change the day Harry introduces Louis to his new girlfriend.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[xhanisai]

Disconsolate

Read on AO3 and FFN

A/N: ...you bet your ass I'm back not too long later lel~ I recently hit 3000+ followers on tumblr surprisingly (smh bad decision making you lot s m h) so here is my first gift? . . . ~(x)~

Grey? Windy? Rainy? Perfect. Marinette thanked the higher deities for once as she trudged her way to school, adorned in a stylistic but waterproof black jacket and a cheap umbrella in one hand. The other hand crept into her clutch, feeling Tikki's hand wrap around a finger to provide comfort. "Everything will be okay, Marinette," The little Goddess whispered supportively, squeezing the lone finger when she didn't receive a reply in response. The kwami understood the girl's turmoil; it has been a mere week after... After that event. She never voiced it out loud but Tikki was more than aware that this is the first time that Marinette has actually looked at the sky. The teen didn't need words to express her disdain for its usual, baby blue colour. Tikki squeezed the finger one last time till they made it to the school building. 

~(x)~

"Girl? Are you trying out a new trend or something?" Alya's question snapped the raven haired girl out of her daze, fist slipping away from its original place in supporting the side of her head as she leaned against it. Caramel coloured digits pinched the grey fabric of Marinette's turtleneck sweater and hazel eyes twinkled with curiousity. 'Heh- curious like a cat, he'd have appreciated that thought...' Mari almost smiled. "New trend?" She finally asked. Conveniently, Mme. Bustier popped out of the class for who knows what so the rest of the class decided to chatter in her absence. "Yeah, what's with the grey? You're usually a black, white and pink sort of girl, no?" Then, a sudden glint of mischievousness glittered in Alya's orbs as she leaned forward to mock whisper in Marinette's ear. "Or- is this another plan to impress Adrien? Hm~?" She cackled as Marinette used a finger to push her back by the forehead, an unimpressed pout on the smaller girl's lips. "Not this time," Marinette let out a little sigh, hoping that no one caught her exhaustiveness but she might as well have been wishing that pigs could fly. Her best friend and the two boys at front noted for the umpteenth time how knackered she was. "I just don't like wearing white anymore..." Adrien, the ever loving eavesdropper, cocked his head in confusion and then asked: "Is it because of how easily it can stain?" He was met with a surprised jolt from the baker girl instead. She blinked a few times before nodding along. Though, it seemed like she was using his question as an excuse instead... "Really? That didn't stop you before." Alya giggled. "You wore that pretty white blouse when we went paintballing, that white jacket at the trip to that muddy farm, that beautiful dress- which you need to teach me how to make- to the chocolate factory. I could go on!" The boys hummed in agreement. "Well...it's going to sound silly but- I- erm, I don't really like the colour anymore." Marinette's downcast eyes trailed to her fingers which was clutching the desk in an iron grip. The trio took that as a sign to drop the subject since it's clear that they've hit a nerve. Feeling her panic rise inside, Marinette excused herself to the restroom speedily with Alya hot at her heels. Adrien couldn't help but feel useless and shitty right now. "I wish she'd tell us what's going on so that we can help..." The model exhaled and dropped his upper half against his desk, itching to dart out of the room and bring Marinette back in his arms. "Maybe she's just going through an emo phase?" Nino's unhelpful quip was met with a slap behind the head from his baffled friend. "Okay! Sheesh- why'd ya gotta hit me so hard dude!?" ~(x)~ Having seen many strange things in her life, especially since the dawn of akumas, it was hard to surprise Sabine. Yet, something as simple as this grated on her maternal urges. The bin in Marinette's room was filled to the brim with content. Content that's not rubbish. Sabine spotted rolls and rolls of fabric, scattered rhinestones and faux gems, cluttered pens and pencils and many more things. What stood out was that they all ranged from different shades of blue to white. The woman narrowed her eyes in confusion before concluding that Marinette may have mistaken her rubbish bin as her fabric bin again, taking all the content out and arranged them as neatly as possible on the chaise. She'll have a talk with Marinette once she's back from school, hopefully. Sabine may be a busy woman but she can always tell whenever her daughter is feeling low or acting out of character. A couple of hours later, she and her husband was hastening through an emergency catering order for some event, much to Sabine's dismay. A few more hours after that, it was past midnight and her daughter was sound asleep. Just as Sabine was about to leave Marinette's bedroom after checking up on her and kissing her forehead, her eyes narrowed at the bin again. The blue and white fabric and stationary she fished out was back in there again. ~(x)~ "Eh!? Where did your beautiful blue eyes go, girl!?" Alya's squawks in the middle of the park interrupted Adrien's and Nino's conversation and they both shot their head forward to see the girl tugging along a shorter one whilst leaning into her face at the same time. Adrien jogged towards the girls, leaving Nino to look after the picnic. The model couldn't believe his eyes. The sweet, soft, baby blues in Marinette's orbs were replaced with a dark, brownish grey pair. Although it suited her naturally, it hid her face more rather than making them as striking as the blue. The first thing Adrien would see whenever he saw Marinette was her charming eyes; it feels like he's searching for her now instead. "I'm just trying out new contacts. They looked kinda cool, don't you think?" She gave a little twirl, the skirt of her dress flared modestly but prettily in colour that could rival buttercups. 'That outfit would have been complete if she wasn't hiding her real eyes...' Adrien mused to himself sadly. No matter how beautiful she looked, Marinette simply didn't look as fleshed out and vibrant with eyes like that. Or maybe it was the fake, polite smile she had plastered on her face. "Meh- I personally love the blue, you have the prettiest eye colour I've ever seen," Alya made way to Nino, not aware of the way Marinette's smile dropped. "I'd have liked to see you with golden brown, like Nino's! Or maybe green, like Adrien's," The blogger gave a sly wink and then chuckled along with her boyfriend when Marinette scoffed and Adrien scratched his head in confusion. "Is she indirectly trying to say that it doesn't suit me?" The designer directed her pout at Adrien. He would have happily fought a thousand warriors to make her smile or maybe kick Lila off the roof a few dozen times. He didn't want to lie however. "I think she just misses the usual colour, Marinette," The golden haired teen smiled, letting his fingers brush Marinette's fringe aside gently so that her eyes aren't as shadowed. "You do look more like your maman with grey eyes," His fingers now lingered on her cheekbone. Marinette's heart hammered against her chest and butterflies erupted in her stomach. She internally prayed that her cheeks didn't colour, unaware that Adrien was hoping the same for himself. "B-But?" Marinette tilted her head slightly till the boy was fully cupping her face. He unconsciously let his thumb stroke the soft, supple skin a few times. "I miss your blue eyes too, they remind me of the sky," Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Marinette pulled out of his hold, biting her bottom lip with a dark, ugly emotion swimming through the contacts, glowering at the clear, azure sky. "Marinette? Are you okay?" Adrien reached forward again, hoping to catch her hand and apologise but the girl quickly nodded her head and forced a smile back on her face. He really can't stand that smile. "Yeah, I'm fine, just tired. Let's get to Alya and Nino before they abandon us to make out behind a tree or something again," She didn't wait for his answer and darted to their friends. She might as well have slapped him and that would have stung much less. Adrien's eyes shimmered sadly, making way to the trio. As he mingled and chatted with them, he kept a careful eye on Marinette. He noted her subdued actions. He noted her watered down expressions. He noted her fake smiles. He vowed to get to the bottom of it. He'll do anything to make her feel happy again. ~(x)~ Ladybug stared at her reflection with disgust. The moonless, pitch black sky made her figure seem sleeker and mysterious. The golden lights from nearby buildings and street lamps gave an illusion of glitter in her hair. The chill of the summer wind pinkened her sensitive lips into a plump, kissable colour. Yet all that Ladybug could do was grimace at her reflection at a nearby window on the roof she was perched on and claw at her cheek with one hand. White skin. Blue eyes. White skin. Blue eyes. White skin. Blue eyes- "Buginette?" The sound of Chat Noir's voice brought the heroine back to reality like gasp of fresh air. She immediately whisked her body around to face him, drinking in the sight of her beloved partner. Tan skin. Green eyes. Tan skin. Green eyes. Tan skin. Green eyes. "Why were you clawing at your face like that, My Lady?" He was suddenly close, grasping her hand away from her cheek which was reddened from all the scratching. He scowled at the marks, using his other hand to rub them away. A notion that reminded her of another green eyed, tan skinned boy. "I was just thinking..." She lied. Ladybug pretended to ignore the irritated twitch of Noir's cat ears and the snap of his tail slashing against the roof tiles. The teen clad in black squeezed her hand firmly; a body gesture she's come to recognise after so long. He's not letting her go. "I've been watching you for the past few minutes, Bug," Though his tone was smooth, his eyes were acidic. "Muttering about something alongside of 'disgusting'...?" He brought her hand to his lips, kissing the inside of her wrist but never leaving the appendage. His next few words were mumbled against the skin. "I hope you weren't talking about yourself..." Ladybug wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to tell him everything. Of how a sole, childish mistake of hers... Cost them everything. Including him. Especially him. But she can't. "I wasn't, silly Chaton," This time, when she leaned into his touch and delivered a small smile, Chat Noir was reminded of his wonderful classmate. The two most important women in his life are suffering and they're not letting him in to help. It really pissed him off. "The truth, please," He breathed against her wrist, digging his other hand through her hair. One ribbon came undone and fluttered away with the breeze as his claws combed through the inky tendrils. The other ribbon joined its sister without much prompting- perhaps obeying the wishes of the miraculous holders and let the hair fall free. Chat Noir fell in love all over again. Ladybug never wanted to cry more now than ever. She couldn't stand seeing such affection in his eyes, knowing that it brought him to his doom at one point in a future. A future that she's prevented. A future that could still happen. "I just really, really hate the colour blue." Tears sprang out of her eyes without permission, forcing her to hide her face into Chat's chest and cry silently. The boy pushed away his disorientation and questions, arms encasing her against him as if he's protecting her. His chin rested on Ladybug's head as he squeezed her tight, hoping that it comforted her even if it was just a smidge. Because it's more help he's done today for the girls than he's done for the past week. That night, patrol was cancelled. Ladybug slipped away from his arms with a quiet goodbye, tracing the brow of his mask with her thumb and melancholy written all over her face. She swung away without another word. Chat Noir was left alone. Until, a familiar ribbon swept through the breeze and landed on his shoulder. With a gentleness that juxtaposed his deadly claws, the boy collected the magical fabric with his fingers, twirling it absentmindedly. Noir brought the ribbon to his lips, kissing it as lightly as if it's made out of glass. Suddenly, clarity hit him like a ton of bricks. His eyes dilated as every single puzzle piece finally clicked in his mind. Every interaction, every presence, every feeling, every smile, all made sense! "Marinette..." ~(x)~ She knew that this was wrong. That this was dangerous. She knew exactly what the consequences were in the future. Again, her dilemma was kicked away by another delectable kiss. God, she was so selfish! The cat didn't care though. Chat Noir parted her lips with his once more, relishing the taste of her bruised, swollen but sweet lips, tracing the rims with his tongue before slipping it inside. His gloved hands explored her torso modestly but lovingly, in a dance that they've tangoed too many times to count. Marinette's hair was loose and fanned against her pillow. The girl in question was clad in her pyjamas whilst the boy straddled her in his armour. His hands were clasping hers one more time as they parted for a brief moment and tilted their heads ever so slightly for a better angle before resuming back into their kiss. It was like every teen's deepest, darkest dreams. To have their loved one sneak into their bed and kiss them senseless till the early morning. To have sweet nothings whispered into their ear whilst surrounded by their arms. To have their necks marked with memories and promises and have it tingle throughout the rest of the day whilst hiding the evidence with a scarf. Marinette is not an ordinary teen. Neither is Chat Noir. Reality and logic came storming back into her mind, forcing Marinette to pull away from the kiss. Chat kissed his teeth in disapproval before deciding to target her shoulder as she lectures them about their duties for the millionth time. He was getting real sick of that crap. His annoyance was indisputable from the numerous love bites he's left on her body. "Chat...please...we shouldn't..." Marinette gasped out as the boy peppered her with kisses. "Why?" His lips were trailing the shell of her ear now. "Why do you always try and push me away, My Lady?" Her gasps were now more pronounced as Chat skimmed his teeth against the lobe gingerly. "I just want to make you happy..." His voice was barely above a whisper now. Clearing her throat and willing her heart to calm down, Marinette propped herself up on her elbows and flashed a look at Chat. Her 'Business means business' face which Chat has dubbed it as. The cat boy merely sat up, still having her pinned on the bed and had both her hands in his. This time, Tikki joined the duo from her hiding space, plopping herself on top of Marinette's shoulder. "It's bad enough that we're hiding all of this from Master Fu," Tikki began. She wasn't exactly reprimanding them but she also wasn't fond of the affair either. "But the fact that you know each others identities is unsafe-" "Tikki!" Marinette cut the Goddess off with a hiss. Chat Noir couldn't believe his ears and he leaned forward, hope bubbling in his eyes. "I knew it...I knew you found out," A broken laugh escaped him as he kissed her hands repeatedly. "You've been flashing those eyes at me...at civilian me, because you know! You've lingered closer to me...you, oh my God- I knew I wasn't going crazy," He babbled so happily that Marinette couldn't help the guilt that weighed heavier in her stomach. Were they this happy in the other future before the incident? She wondered what it was like to be ignorant of the ice cold horror that was waiting to engulf them all. "Tikki's right, Minou. It's too dangerous," Hurt and bewilderment flashed on Chat's face and his grip tightened on her hands. "I love you so much...I can't bear to see you hurt," Tears rolled down his cheeks and hers followed suit. "Are we not allowed to be happy?" He sniffed. Chat lowered his forehead on hers, eyes scrunched close to keep the tears away but it was no use. "This isn't fair..." "I know...I know," Tikki felt her heart shatter too, cursing Le Papillon for depriving two of the most beautiful souls of a future filled with happiness. It just wasn't fucking fair. "Say my name...please...please Marinette..." He uttered her name over and over again, like a prayer. Chat's hands cupped her cheeks, eyes begging for her to spill. She'd do anything to get rid of that sadness in his eyes. "Adrien," Marinette breathed and cried so beautifully when the boy detransformed immediately. The smooth, cool surface of his gloves was now warm flesh cradling her burning skin. The heat of his body on hers increased by a thousand and comforted her frame. His cat like eyes were naturally back to human but familiar green eyes. No more secrets. "One more night...please..." Adrien didn't dare to open his eyes now, wrapping his arms around her body and ducking his face into the crook of her neck. Marinette sent a pleading look to the kwamis, eyes shimmering with more tears to shed. Tikki and Plagg gave her a smile before making their way to the Goddess' hiding spot. "Watch over my kid," The being of destruction purred. Adrien took that as a sign to sit back up, gobsmacked that their last selfish wish was being granted. He let out another broken chuckle, matching Marinette's heartbroken smile. "I love you," He whispered and then connected his lips with hers. "I'll never stop loving you," He pushed her back down on the bed and kissed harder. "I'll wait for you forever, always," She believed him. ~(x)~ He's always believed that he's someone who wouldn't raise their voice, no matter what. After all, he did inherit his Father's threatening, ice chilling, tone which he only uses to manipulate someone into doing something (i.e. getting corrupted rich men off his back, scaring Lila away from tormenting his Marinette, etc). He's been wrong before. He's definitely wrong now. Seeing a doppelganger of himself pop out of the blue in a stark white uniform with unsettling blue eyes and an expressionless face was already a major shock to his system. Seeing the way Marinette froze up on the spot and then collapse on her knees at the sight of him was another. He had to get them out of here and transform! "I told you...we could fix it all if you'd just give me... . . . YOUR MIRACULOUS!" ~(x)~ It took them twenty-four hours to defeat this akuma. The akuma itself was just a poor, little child who was berated by his peers for being scared of something. So, he in turn brought out the scariest thing that everyone's seen to life so that they could understand his pain. Not only did they have to hire Rena Rouge, Carapace and Queen Bee (a risk that they had to take), they also had to bring out Viperion, Ryuuko, Pegasus, Roi Singh and nominate the rest of their classmates to pair with the zodiac miraculouses. The battle was gruesome and messy with everyone else's standard fears. Chat Blanc, his name learnt through Ladybug's petrified rambles, took the icing on the cake. The white cat was loaded with infinite destruction and managed to wipe out the whole team save for Chat Noir and Ladybug. Ladybug has never hesitated when it came to fighting akumas and sentients- Chat Blanc was the exception. Thus, it ruined the dynamic of the team and sent thousands of innocents to their demise as the wild cat killed everything in his sight. It took twenty detransformations, eighteen passionate yet desperate kisses after being separated so long from their break-up, ten begging prayers and three tear-streaked faces till Ladybug finally listened to Chat Noir and got her head sorted in the game. Playing herself as bait as her civilian form, Marinette managed to catch Chat Blanc's attention, making him an easy target to cataclysm before that monster could DARE to touch his Princess. One cleansing light later, everything was back to normal. ~(x)~ "I'm sorry, Marinette, Adrien," The old guardian's grave words felt like a punch into the duo's guts. This was it. They were going to lose their miraculouses. Marinette wasn't surprised- it was her fault after all. This doesn't mean that Adrien should be punished as well! He did nothing wrong- "I'm sorry for not preparing and training you both properly," Fu's self-deprecating tone clicked the boy and girl back into reality and they gaped when they saw that he didn't make a move to take back the miraculous boxes. "I-I thought...that you'd take them away..." Marinette spoke bravely. She was met with a kind smile from the old man instead who shook his head and beckoned her and Adrien to slip the jewellery on without hesitation. His brown eyes crinkled with delight as they rejoiced with their kwamis. "But...why?" Adrien whispered, tempting to pinch himself because he's never this lucky. "We've been hiding in secrecy for so long...you said you'd take our miraculous away if we...told each other..." "Yes, a terrible decision from a man who made terrible choices in the past." Fu sighed. "I've noticed when you've started to suspect, Adrien," The blonde in question froze in his seat. "I knew that a reveal was inevitable sooner or later considering how close you both are in and out of the mask...in all combinations," The guardian smirked at the way the two stiffened from his choice of words. Clearly they weren't as sneaky as they thought when Marinette and Chat Noir had their...moments. "I also noticed how off you were when Bunnix took you away, Marinette," Adrien instinctively clasped her hand with his, hoping he'd provide her with some warmth. It took a while but he managed to coax out of her of what happened and soon, everything made sense. With the help of their kwamis, he managed to get rid of the guilt out of her system because honestly, she did NOTHING wrong. "You two are the only ones fit of handling the mantle of the Ladybug and Black Cat. You've defeated a being capable of infinite destruction, twice in your case Marinette. You have both grown stronger with the knowledge of each others identities and have gained such strong loyalty from not only Tikki and Plagg but also all the other kwamis. I am so sorry for burdening you both with secrecy but believe me, I only had the best intentions. Will you forgive me?" Marinette and Adrien were crying with joy now, the latter blowing his nose into a handkerchief much to Plagg's disgust, causing everyone else in the room to laugh. Finally, their souls seemed lighter than ever. ~(x)~ "Oh? That's an interesting choice of colour today," Adrien laughed, not wasting any time to give Marinette a twirl so that the skirt of the dress flared like a blooming flower. The girl giggled before landing on his chest and brought him into an embrace. The model hummed happily, kissing the crown of her head with a blush. He'll never get enough of Marinette and the way she gets his heart racing. "I think it's about time I prove to Nino that I'm not going through an emo phase." Marinette pulled her head away from Adrien's chest to stick her tongue out at the DJ. The bespeckled boy let out a mock scoff and retorted with: "It's either that or a Chat Noir phase! Take your pick!" "Fine- emo phase it is." Marinette sighed dramatically, smirking at Adrien's protests as she bounced towards Nino and Alya. She didn't get far as her partner swept her away in his arms, bridal style, making way to their friends despite her shrieks. "Ew. They're gonna be THAT couple. Alya. Bleach my eyes," Nino received a flick on the nose instead from his girlfriend who was busy taking millions of photos for her 'adrinette' album. "After all that slow burning, months of pining, I expect nothing less of my children," Alya harrumphed and then sped towards Marinette to see her latest dress up close. Judging from the way she squealed and the next ten million pictures she took, Alya loved the garment. "I could make you one?" Marinette offered. She tried to get down to her feet but Adrien wouldn't budge, only clutching her closer to him as he whistled innocently. He could be so clingy sometimes! "Me? No way! I can never pull it off like you do! That cool gradient of blue and white and those blue ribbons and SHOES! Ugh Marinette- you're just so fucking pretty, marry me already!" Alya playfully clasped her hands with Marinette's, both girls enjoying the way Adrien's eyebrow twitched at their over-affectionate actions. "Haha- no. I'm not sharing my girl," "Haven't you heard, Adrien? It's hoes before bros." Marinette finally jumped out of his arms which loosened from bafflement and skipped away with Alya hooked in one arm. Nino cackled when Adrien finally came to, muttering about how girls will be the death of him as he made way to the trio. It feels like it's been years since they've had a picnic at this spot in the park. Marinette couldn't help but sigh blissfully. This whole month has been one heck of a rollercoaster. Now? She's got the love of her life and kick-ass but adorable partner lying on her lap with her fingers curling through his blonde locks. Master Fu has stepped up as a mentor for both her and Adrien (although going through numerous locations to ensure his safety was a pain and a half). "The sky's so pretty," Adrien murmured, bringing Marinette back out of her daydreams. She blinked owlishly at him a few times before raising a brow. "How can you see the sky if you're looking at me?" "No, I'm looking at the sky," His hand suddenly reached up, fondling the skin below her eye and his thumb stroked the smooth arch of her brow. "See?" He then leaned up, pulling her in for a soft kiss before lying back down with a content smile, regardless of the way Marinette's face exploded in red. "OH MY GOD THAT IS CHEESY! I BET YOU ALYA, THEY'LL RUN AWAY TO ENGLAND AND GET MARRIED AT SIXTEEN! I BET YOU FIFTY EUROS!" "Top ten reasons to why I should hit Nino has now been updated to top twenty, note that down please Cesaire?" The model growled whilst everyone else giggled. Marinette smiled at her love and then smiled at the sky. White and blue isn't so bad after all... . . . ~(x)~ A/N: It's almost six in the morning, I have to get to class in three hours. Fuck. I'll spellcheck and all that stuff tomorrow. Thank you for reading!

[talpup]

Summary: Yami Sukehiro just wanted to join the Magic Knights and make his mentor proud.  He knew there would be trails.  He knew trouble would come his way.  Knew he would be faced with discrimination for being a foreigner and a peasant.  What he didn’t know.  Didn’t expect.  Was that literal Chaos would come his way.  That he and his mentor’s sister would be at the center of world ending trouble.  Or that he would fall in love with his mentor’s sister and face more than discrimination; but the jealously of Nozel Silva who loved the same woman he did.

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, eventual sexual behavior, and other possible triggers.  For a full list of story tags please check the fics AO3 (link to that at the top of my tumblrs homepage).

Chapter 89

“Why do I have to go?”  Yami questioned yet again.

“Cause your the one that found the girl and you haven’t seen her since Bran’s family took her in.”  Venice said as they flew.

“You say that like it answers my question.”  Yami said.

Aggravated herself, Teris didn’t have the patience to deal with Yami’s foul mood.  Flying beside him, she said.  “How about cause Jax said you had to go.”

At Yami’s deepening frown, Tobin offered.  “How about this?  It’s a reason to slack off and drink.”

“I can do that at home.”  Yami said.

“You people are going about this all wrong.”  Olsen said.  He looked over at Yami.  “Even if the Captain wasn’t making you go.  You’d be going anyway.  Why?  Because your lovely lady is going.”

Yami glared at the Water Mage but said nothing.

“See?” Olsen smiled at the others.  “Easy.”

Yami resisted the urge to knock Olsen off his broom.  Instead, he found something else to complain about.  “Why is the Lion Cub coming?”

“Because Vanessa invited him.”  Teris’ tempered tone put an end to that complaint.

“And your letter of Vanessa’s invitation said that Zora would be there too.”  Fuegoleon added, interested in seeing how both Vanessa and Zora were fairing.

Teris scowled at her cousin, none too please by his presence either.  She flew closer beside Yami.  “Why are you in such a mood?”

“Just hate flying.  That’s about all Bronn was good for.”  Yami grumbled, not sure why he was so irritable.

“Can you please refrain from comments like that?  Gilly will be there.” Teris said.

Yami huffed.  “It’s not like Gilly didn’t know Bronn was an ass.”

“Yami.” Teris scolded.

Yami looked at her expectantly.

Teris’ expression harden.  What was with him today?  Finally she said.  “If you don’t have something nice to say, just don’t speak at all.”

The Black Bulls shared various expressions of amusement.  Even Fuegoleon raised a wry eyebrow.

Tobin outright laughed.  “He’ll never talk again.”

Ignoring Tobin, Teris told Yami.  “Just in Bronn’s case.  Just for today. For Gilly and Jax.  Please.”

Olsen opened his mouth to tell Teris she’d get better results asking Yami to behave for her; but Yami silenced him.

“Shut up, Water Fairy.”  Yami looked back at Teris.  His angry expression softening slightly.  “I’ll try.”

“Thank you.”  Teris breathed.  Yami trying was the best she could hope for given his terrible mood.

Teris wondered what had put Yami in such a bad mood.  Whatever it was had to have happened upstairs in the guys wing; because Yami had been sour since the moment he sat down for breakfast.  Jax bailing out on coming to Vanessa’s birthday party while telling Yami he had to go, certainly hadn’t helped.  Neither had Fuegoleon’s appearance. Though admittedly Fuegoleon’s attendance hadn’t helped her mood either.

Yami flew closer to Teris.  “What’s with you?”

Teris turned to him and scoffed.  “Me?”

“You’ve been quiet and testy all day.”  Yami said.

Teris blinked, unable to believe Yami’s nerve at calling her testy when he’d been nothing short of an angry bear all day.  He had literally growled at Tobin for accidentally elbowing him at the breakfast table before they left for Bran’s family home before sunrise this morning.

“Well? You gonna tell me what’s up?”  Yami asked, impatient with her silence.

Teris ground her teeth.  “Only if you tell me why you’ve been such an ass.”

“Language, Teris.” Fuegoleon rebuked.

“Screw you.”  Teris snapped.

Fuegoleon opened his mouth to scold again but was stopped by Tobin.

“I’d leave it, Lion Cub.  Teris has been in a mood since morning.” Tobin said.

Venice frowned at her boyfriend.  “As if Yami’s been any better.”

“They’ve both been angry ass’.”  Abril said.

“Excuse you.”  Fuegoleon turned to Abril in clear disapproval.  He and Teris may not have made up since their fight before the Star Awards over a month ago.  But they were still family and nobody bad mouthed his family.

“Irritable.” Olsen said, soothing the offense. “They’ve both been irritable.”

“We can hear you, you know.”  Teris said.

“So then tell us.  What’s the matter with you two? You have a fight or something?”  Tobin asked.

“Don’t be stupid.”  Yami snapped.

They flew in silence after that.

Teris thought of Zora.  Bran’s parents had been kind enough to let her invite him.  And Zora’s Aunt had said Zora could go.  It would be her first time seeing Zora since she learned the truth of Zara’s murder.  She hoped Zora wouldn’t ask about Magic Investigations supposed findings and conclusion.  Teris didn’t want to perpetuate the falsehood. Nor did she think she could look Zora in the eye and repeat such a lie. But the truth was so terrible Teris didn’t think she could tell Zora that either.  She had been tempted not to invite Zora at all just to avoid the chance of such questions.  But she needed to see him.  Friend bond bracelet or not, she had promised to be Zora’s friend.  Zara had been her friend.  She owed it to Zara to make sure his son was doing alright.

“We’re here!”  Bran sped on ahead with Abril right behind him.

Gendry’s already brooding expression darkened.

Teris tilted her head in Gendry’s direction and asked Yami.  “What’s the matter with him?”

Yami glanced at Gendry and shrugged.  “How should I know?”

“Cause he’s one of your closest friends.”  Teris said.

Yami looked her over.  “You’re my closest friend.”

Teris ducked her head trying to hide her blush; but her hair had been tied back for the flight.  “Fine.  Cause he’s one of your close friends.”

“Don’t pay much attention to my close friends.  Just my closest friend.” Yami toyed.

Teris shook her head.  “You’re impossible, Sukehiro.”

“And you’re beautiful.”  Yami told, loving how her blush deepened and spread to her neck and ears.

Landing their brooms, Yami was once again struck at how child-like Bran could still be.  The guy was just a couple months out from turning seventeen.  Yet the excitable way Bran pulled his mother along to meet them reminded Yami of the way Julius got when he saw new magic.

“Mum. This is Yami”  Bran introduced.

There was a moment of silence.

Yami’s eyes darted to Teris; the rest of the Black Bulls waiting for Bran to go on.

Attempting to cover for her son, Melody Host smiled at Yami.  “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Is this some met the parents dinner date we didn’t know about?  Yami, I thought you were with Teris not Bran.”  Tobin joked.

Yami elbowed Tobin in the gut, and rubbed the back of his neck.  He had known Bran idolized him; but hadn’t realized it was this bad.  The way Bran introduced him and his mother said it was nice to finally meet him made it seem as if Bran wrote home about him.  Oh mana please, he hoped Bran didn’t write home about him.

“And this is Teris, Julius Nova’s sister.”  Bran belatedly went on, embarrassed blush in his cheeks.

“She’s also co-Vice Captain and the woman I’m gonna marry.”  Yami added.

Tobin, Venice, Abril, and Olsen cheered in various levels.  Fuegoleon frowned.

Teris turned beet red.  Yami might’ve confessed that he wanted to marry her a year ago, but they hadn’t talked about it since; a fact she was thankful for.  She didn’t want to pull Yami into the mess of her refusing to wed Nozel, and still thought she could avoid doing so.  Finding her voice, she told.  “And a person in my own right.”

“That too.”  Yami grinned, loving her red cheeks and sputtering response. Tearing his eyes away from Teris, he turned back to Bran’s mother. “Nice to meet you Bran’s Mom.”

“Melody. Please.”  Melody said.

“Yeah. I’m not gonna remember that.”  Yami said.

“Yami.” Teris scolded.

“What? I’m just being honest. You’ve heard him tell how big his family is.” Yami said.

“Yami’s right.  There’s no way I’m going to remember all those names.” Tobin agreed.

Teris turned back to Melody.  “Thank you for taking Vanessa in.  We’re sorry our Captain couldn’t make it.”

“Vanessa’s been… interesting.”  Melody said.  She looked the rest of the Black Bulls over.  “Forgive me.  But I’m with Yami and this other young man.  There’s little chance I’ll remember all of your names with a single introduction, so why don’t you just make yourselves at home until it’s supper time.”

Teris’ eyes widened.  “Oh.  We can’t do that.”  She glanced at Yami and Tobin in particular.  “It’s best we think of ourselves as guests.”

Melody patted Teris’ hand.  “This farm has survived my children, and my husbands siblings before that.  There isn’t a wall in that farmhouse or any of the outbuildings that hasn’t been rebuilt because of a little roughhousing.  So don’t you worry about your people breaking things.”

“Where’s Papa?”  Bran asked.

“Where’s Ricte?”  Abril questioned.

“Where’s Vanessa?”  Yami wondered.

Venice looked at Abril.  “Who’s Ricte?”

Melody eyed Bran.  “Have you forgotten what a proper workday looks like? Your father's out in the fields.  He’ll be in at the usually dinner time come sundown.”

It struck Teris that they might've disturbed the Host family's regular schedule since the dinner they’d been invited to for Vanessa would start in a couple hours, well before sundown.

Answering Venice, Abril told.  “He’s Bran’s friend.  I met him when we came to drop off Vanessa.  We’ve been writing each other ever since.”

“Writing to each other.”  Venice echoed, casting a glance toward Gendry.

Well that explained Gendry's ill-humor, Teris thought.

“It’s not like that!”  Abril asserted.  She looked at Gendry, growling when he avoided her gaze.

Looking at Yami, Melody answered.  “Vanessa is--”

“Yami!”

“--right there.”  Melody finished.

89.2

It was late afternoon and the Black Bulls base was quiet for once.  Jax sat in his favored chair in the great room trying to read.  It was actually too quiet.  All of the Bulls except he and Iban had gone to Bran’s parents.  The flight there long enough that they would be staying the night and wouldn’t return until just before supper time tomorrow.

Jax had stayed because he wasn’t ready to see Gilly again.  But in the houses silence, his thoughts were too loud to ignore. Had he been wrong to stay home?  Surely Bronn would've wanted him to go check in on Gilly.  Make sure what she said in her letters about doing alright was true.  But Jax didn’t want to go.  He didn’t want to see her and be reminded of the happiness he had taken from her.

Book forgotten, Jax sat talking himself sick with the same argument he’d been having with himself for three days straight.  Finally he got to his feet.  It was pointless to think about it anymore. He had made his choice.  The others would soon arrive at Bran’s parents, if they weren’t there already.

Leaving the book on the chair, Jax made his way down to Iban’s lab.

Though the lab shared a wall and blocked door to the kitchens, the place was cold and dark even in the middle of summer.  He ducked beneath rows of herbs hung to dry and came face to face with the golden eyed Blood Mage.

“Captain. What an unexpected surprise.”

“Tell me exactly how you and Yami are getting along.”  Jax ordered.

Work, Jax thought.  If he focused on his job as Captain he wouldn’t have to deal with haunting memories, or shame-filled regret.

“He hasn’t cut off anymore of my fingers.”  Iban offered.

A wry smile tugged at Jax’s lips. “Always a good thing.  Other than not cutting off parts of your anatomy, how are things between the two of you?”

“Out of self preservation and respect for the force that is strengthening within him, I do my best to stay out of co-Vice Captain Yami’s way. That, along with following his decree to stay away from co-Vice Captain Teris has seen us exist amicably enough.”

A cold prickle shot up Jax’s spine. “You said the force that’s strengthening inside him.”

Iban inclined his head.

“That sounds like terminology the Agents of Chaos would use.”

Iban’s eyes glittered darkly in the low light.  “Trust me, Captain.  The Agents of Chaos currently interested in Yami and Teris are far from the first to speak in such ways.”

Jax stood stock still, dazed for a moment.  The barest vibration rumbled underneath the men's boots.  The Black Bulls Captain ran a hand roughly over his face, struggling to get his mana under control.

Never once had Iban spoke of knowing the beliefs the Agents of Chaos held about Yami and Teris.  Never once had he mentioned anything about the supposed Light and Darkness that was in them.  Not even when he had questioned Iban after the Summer Solstice; asking if he had ever heard or knew the meaning of a seventh son of a seventh son of a seventh son.

Then again that wasn’t how Iban Halvor worked.  The Blood Mage didn’t volunteer information.  Even when questioned directly, Iban often spoke in riddles.

This was his fault, Jax thought.  He should've asked.  It didn’t matter that he had no reason to question Iban.  He was Captain.  He should have known.

Gathering himself enough to speak, Jax asked. “What do you know of it?”

“Only what my Grandmother told me.”  Iban said.

Jax’s eyes lifted.  “What did she tell you?”

“A lot of things--”

Jax grabbed Iban’s shirt collar, pushing him back against the opposite worktable.  Disturbed clay jars and glass vials rolled along the tables surface.  A couple fell to the floor, breaking.

“Don’t toy with me!  I’ll don’t care what memory mage I have to use. I’ll know everything you do even if it leaves you drooling and catatonic.”  Jax said.

“Just make sure you don’t call upon Advisor Ellara Shaw.”  Iban said, hands lifted in yielding submission.

Jax’s eyes widened.  Then widened again when he realized he had physically attacked a member of his squad.  He released Iban’s shirt and stepped back.  He didn’t apologize.  Though he did scold himself for the outburst.

Iban straightened.  He didn’t bother smoothing his hair or clothes. Instead he turned to the tipped over jars and vials, tisking at the mess.

Righting some of the more costly and difficult to make brews, Iban stated. “You have questions, Captain.”

“Damn right I do!”

Iban turned back to him.  “All you need to do is ask.  I’ll gladly tell you whatever you wish to know.”

“No.” Jax scowled.  “We’re not playing your games.  Not in this. People have died.”

“Ah, yes.  Bronn.  It’s a shame the Vice Captain died for nothing.”

The house trembled around them.  Jax swallowed thickly, battling his own will.  A part of him didn’t want to get control of his mana.

The exterior stone wall of the partially subterranean room opened up to the outside. The stones reshaped to form into a stairway leading up to the back lawn. It would be safer for the both of them if they continued this outside.

“Climb.” Jax ordered.

Outside, Jax faced Iban and demanded.  “Tell me everything.”

“There’s not much I can tell.”

“I highly doubt that.  Now talk.”

Taking a deep breath, Iban told the Captain the same thing he had told Yami about his family’s past.

“Your third great grandfather was the Leader of those crazies!”  Jax stormed when Iban was finished.

“They were hardly the radicals you are currently dealing with who are foolish enough to believe ending this existence will bring about the next.”  Iban said.

Jax thought back to the information Sir Jorah and Marx had said the Clover Kingdom had on the Agents of Chaos.  That over a hundred years ago there was a change in the group that saw the Agents of Chaos going dark.  That it led many to think the group had disbanded or been taken out by a rival faction; leaving the group to eventually be forgotten about entirely, until now.

He shook his head, the Agents of Chaos’ past didn’t matter.  What mattered was Iban could tell them Alowishus’ plans.

“If you think I can help you, Captain, I am sorry to say you are sorely mistaken.”

“Your family was a part of them.  Your grandmother’s grandfather the Master of the group.  You know about force strengthening inside Yami.”

Iban rolled his head, sighing.  “I know-- how is it those of this kingdom phrase it?”

Jax didn’t say that Iban and his parents were of this kingdom.  He knew Iban and his family kept to themselves and refused to assimilate. It’s why Iban still had a Spade Kingdom accent despite him and his parents being born and raised in the Clover Kingdom.

“I know enough to get myself in trouble.”  Iban said, recalling the phrase.

“In trouble with who?”  Jax asked.

“The truth is, Captain.  I do not know what Alowishus Spade’s plan is passed that of using Vice Captain's Yami and Teris to awaken Chaos.”

“Isn’t that enough.”  Jax growled.

“Not if you are wanting details.  My Grandmother was young when they were cast out of Sanctuary.  And though she did her best to teach me the family’s ways, the Agents of Chaos my Grandmother came from is quite different from the Agents of Chaos you are facing.  My grandmother’s grandfather was the third sequential Master of Chaos who didn’t agree with a long ago and previous Master who sought to awaken Chaos.  As such he was the third Master to steer the group away from such apocalyptic aims.”

“So what?  The Agents of Chaos your ancestor led wanted to save the world from hell and create a utopia?”  Jax scoffed, in disbelief.

“Utopia could still be hell depending on whose utopia is brought about.” Iban said.  Watching the Captain, he told.  “The order of the Agents of Chaos is old.  Ancient.  And every subsequent Master since the Master of Master's has sought to mold the group into their own interpretation of what the Master of Master's taught.”

“And what is that?”

“That Chaos is the beginning and the end.  And it is only a matter of Time before Death’s rise and Chaos descends.”

Jax tamped down a shiver.  Silly as it was, he wondered if that was capital ‘t’ time; as if time was some primordial force.  Though no one had ever mentioned time was a primordial force, nor had any group of crazies even shown an interest in Julius; Jax opened his mouth to ask.

Before he could pose the questioned, Iban spoke first.

Looking about the yard, Iban sighed.  “I can tell you what my grandmother’s grandfather believed, but it has no significance on what interests you.  More then that, I literally cannot tell you what little I know of previous Master’s of Chaos or what I suppose Alowishus Spade might be planning.  I cannot even speak my Grandmother’s name or her grandfather’s name.”

Jax’s eyebrows pulled together, his question forgotten for another.  “Why?”

“Remember what I said about knowing enough to get myself in trouble?”

Jax’s breath caught, realization dawning.  “Alowishus came to you.  Threatened, or did something to you.”

“Yes. He came and offered a deal I could not refuse.  A binding vow that took the words from me so I cannot speak or write them.  And if I were to try despite not being able to, my family whom he so graciously allows to live, would die.”

“We can find a way around it.  To stop or undo it.”  Jax said.

“There is no way, Captain.  It was binding vow made in blood.  For the sake of my family, I went into it willingly.”

“If your family was threatened you were hardly willing.”  Jax argued.

Iban smiled at the Captain's innocence.  “Do you truly think black magic vows stop to consider such inconsequential things as morals or coercion?  No, Captain.  For the sake of my family, I will be of no help to you.  Though take heart, whatever help I could have provided would not have been of any significance anyway.  Truly, I know no details of his plans.  That said, there is something that might be of assistance.”

89.3

Though Melody Host had been against it, saying no guest of hers would be put to work, Yami had gone out with Bran to help repair a downed fence. Fuegoleon, Tobin, and Gendry had offered to assist, Olsen’s offer notably absent; but Yami had waved them off.  He had been meaning to speak to Bran, and with Bran at ease on the farm he grew up on, Yami figured now was the perfect time.

Walking through the field back to the farmhouse, Bran glanced over at Yami. “Thanks for helping.  My brother-in-laws would usually see to the repair before my father had a chance to ask for help.  But it’s a busy time of year for all of them.”

Uncomfortable at the gratitude, Yami replied.  “You’re their eldest son and I’m your Vice Captain.”  As if that alone was enough to explained why Bran should see to the matter and why he had helped him.

“Still. It means a lot.”  Bran persisted.

“Stop.”

Bran stopped walking.

“No.” Yami snapped.  “Stop thanking me.  Stop venerating me.  I’m no one to look up to.”

Bran’s expression fell.  “I just want to be your friend.”

“I have three friends too many already.”  Yami huffed, thinking of Tobin, Gendry, and Jack.

“You can never have too many friends.”  Bran said.

Yami’s eyes narrowed.  “Since when did you start challenging me?”

Bran’s eyes widened.  “I didn’t mean to!  I—I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.  If you wanna be my friend you gotta have a backbone.  Know when to stand up to me.”

“But you just said you had too many--”

“And when not to talk back.”  Yami added over him.

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ve got a job for you.”

Bran’s head lifted, eyes full of hopeful excitement.

Looking over the twilight field, Yami went on.  “It’s off books. Personal.  So you don’t have to take it.”

“I’ll take it!”

“Hold your horses.  You don’t even know what it is.”

“If it’s for you its got to be important.”

“Have you met me?”  Yami laughed.  “If it’s for me.  Chances are it’s to fetch me another ale.”

“Is it to fetch you an ale?”

Yami couldn’t tell if Bran was being sarcastic or honestly asking and willing to get him one. After skipping out on the Host’s early family dinner to fix that fence, he could sure use a drink.  He shook away the tempting thought.  “It could land you in trouble.  Possibly in danger if you’re caught.”

Bran sobered at that.

“Still want to say yes without knowing what it is?”  Yami questioned.

“If it’s for you.  I’ll do it.”  Bran told, firmly.

Irritated, Yami darkened.  “What did I just tell you about venerating me?”

“This has nothing to do with looking up to you.”  Bran argued.  “I trust you.  And not just cause you’re my Vice Captain.  If you’re asking me to do something dangerous that might get me in trouble there has to be a reason.  It must be important.”

Yami sighed.  Bran was right in that.  If it weren’t important, he wouldn’t be asking.  He didn’t like asking others for help.  Didn’t like putting people in dangerous, potentially deadly situations.  He realized that that was what being a Magic Knights Captain pretty much was.  Sending your squad out on missions they might never return from.  Bronn didn’t come back and the bastard had been Jax’s best friend.

“Loyal idiot.”  Yami muttered, about both Bran and Bronn.  Looking at Bran, he grumbled.  “Fine.”

“Why are you acting like this is a favor for me?”

“Who said anything about favors?”

“Well, if it’s personal and off the books…”  Bran said with a shrug.

“Shut up.  This isn’t a favor.  If you do this, I owe you nothing.” Yami said.

“I wasn’t asking for anything.  I only said--”

“I told you to shut up.”

Bran clamped his mouth shut.

“I need you to keep an eye on Olsen and Iban.”

Bran’s eyes widened.  “Why?  What are they--”

Yami scowled.

Bran fell silent.

“You can spy, right?  Watch and listen in on stuff with your magic while controlling mice and bugs and stuff?”

“Bees are best for listening.  They’re really sensitive to vibrations and I can somehow interpret it when people speak.  I’ve tried listening with smaller mammals.  But their higher brain function and awareness makes it hard.  I can’t listen in through them for long and it takes a lot of mana.”

Yami frowned.  So maybe this wouldn’t be as perfect and easy as he had hoped.

“Why do you want me to listen in on Olsen and Iban?”  Bran asked.

“I need you to tell me if and when they meet with Advisor Ellara.”

“Advisor Ellara!”  Bran balked.

“And if either of them say anything about the Agents of Chaos or Teris and I.”  Yami went on.

“To Advisor Ellara?”  Bran asked.

“In general.”

“Do you think--”

“I can’t tell you more than that.”  Yami interrupted.

Yami’s jaw tightened, hands curling into fists.  He remembered how secrets had been keep from him and Teris.  He told himself that this was different.  That none of this was about Bran.  That none of this concerned him.  But if Bran agreed to do this, then if would concern him.

“Sorry.” Yami apologized, hating how he felt like a total hypocrite.

“Don’t be.  I know there’s a lot of stuff surrounding you and Teris that can’t be talked about.  I’m just sorry that it sounds like Iban and Olsen might be suspect.  Especially Olsen.”

“Yeah. Iban’s a creepy bastard.  There’s not a bad thing I wouldn’t suspect him of.”  Yami muttered.

“Is it true he used his magic on you and Teris during your first year? That you’re the reason he’s missing some of his fingers?”  Bran asked.

“He hurt Teris.”  Yami said, by way of explaining why he had done such a thing.

Bran nodded in understanding.  “You really love her.”

Yami open his mouth to say he loved Teris more than life itself.  That he would do anything for her.  But he caught and stopped himself.  Easy to talk to brat, Yami thought scowling at Bran.  “So will you do it?”

“I already said I would.”  Bran told.

“That was before you knew what I was asking.”

“You’re my Vice Captain.  Personal or not.  I’ll do what you ask.”

“Loyal idiot.”  Yami said again, hoping he wouldn’t get Bran killed.

“I take it no one can know.”

“No one.”  Yami said.

“Even Teris?”

Yami thought of Teris’ insatiable curiosity.  Of what she might do if she learned about Iban’s past family connection to the Agents of Chaos.  Of what she might think of him if she learned that he had considered whatever black magic thing Iban said would allow him to remember the communicative dreams with the page of Chaos.

Looking at Bran, Yami told.  “Especially not Teris.”

89.3.2

Teris sat next to Zora under a tree. With most of Bran’s family having returned to their homes an hour or so after supper, things had finally settled down enough for the two to have a quiet moment.

“Have you been able to talk to Fuegoleon at all?”  She asked.

“A bit.”  Zora muttered.

Teris looked across the open field.  Fireflies blinking in and out of the darkening twilight.  She wasn’t a mother figure.  She hadn’t the faintest idea what to say.  Still, the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable as one would have thought.

Finally, Zora mumbled.  “They said they couldn’t find my father’s killers.”

Teris frowned.  Getting justice for Zara was an added reason why she had to make Magic Knights Commander.  Swallowing her anger and guilt, she told.  “It may not be how either of us would’ve liked.  But I promise.  I’ll see him avenged.”

“Not if I get to them first.”  Zora gritted, fists clenching.

Teris turned him.  “And how would you go about that?”

“By killing the men who killed him.”  Zora said.

Teris blinked, breath catching in surprised dread.  “If the report said--”

“I don’t need no report.”  Zora seethed.  “I just need to see them again.  I’ll know them when I see them.”

Hope welled in Teris’ chest.  “You saw them?  When?  That night? Zora.  If you know something--”

“You think they’ll believe me? A peasant?”  Zora spat, thinking of the laughing nobles he had seen and heard at his father's grave sight. “They’ll just call me a liar and cover up the truth.”  His eyes lowered, the toe of his boot kicking at a tuft of grass.  “The life of a peasant, even one who’s a Magic Knight, means nothing compared to a nobles.”

Teris reached out, hand hovering over his shoulder a moment before she pulled back.  “Zora...”

“I’m not asking anything of you!”  Zora yelled, fists trembling.  He took a shaky breath and looked away.  “I don’t need you.  I don’t need anyone.”

“We all need someone, Zora.  I promised to be your friend.  Remember?”

“You want to be my friend?  Then train me.”

“Train you?  Train you in what?”

Zora glared out over the field.  “You’re a Magic Knight.  You have to work by the law.  Abide by what they say.  I don’t.”

“Zora!”

“I don’t need you!  I certainly don’t need your approval!  I just need you to train me.”  Zora said, fiercely.

Zora’s outburst took her back to the first time Julius had returned home after their mother’s death.  She had yet to go live with the Vermillion’s.  And though Fyntch rarely came out of their father's office, he had made her life miserable in the orders and expectations he had for her.  She had shouted something similar at her eldest brother.  Telling Julius that she didn’t want him home.  That they didn’t need him.  And then begged him to stay.

The contradiction didn’t strike her then, just as it probably didn’t strike Zora.  Zora’s words made her realize just how heart wrenching her own words to Julius had been.  Cause even though she knew Zora didn’t mean what he said about not needing her; it showed just how much he was hurting.

“When I turn fifteen and get my grimoire, I’ll begin my search.  Till then I’ll bide my time working on my technique and strengthening my natural magic.”

Teris released a breath.  If Zora meant what he said, that at least gave her a few years before she had to worry about him striking out to get revenge.  The plan was honestly fairly mindful.  Most would have simply acted already and gotten themselves arrested or killed.

“You’re right.  Because I’m a Magic Knight there’s little I can do.  But if ever I become Knights Commander--”  Teris shook her head. Telling Zora her own plans would only get his hopes up and possibly endanger him.

“I don’t blame you.”  Zora told.

Teris’ shoulders eased some at that.  “I see you still wear the friend bond bracelet I gave you.”

Blue eyes darted to her wrist.  It was the first thing Zora had noticed upon seeing her again.  That she still wore the thread bracelet he made and given her.  “If you’re really my friend, you’d help train me.”

Thinking aloud, Teris murmured.  “It’s not like I can lock you away or stop you from doing what you think you must.”

Zora looked at her with expectant, hope filled eyes.

Teris stared back, expression stern.  “I need you to promise me, Zora Ideale.  Promise that you’ll wait to do anything.  At least until you get your grimoire.  Even if you see one of them before that.  You wait.”

“And what do you promise in return?”  Zora asked.

Teris blinked at his boldness.  Then again, if her father had been murdered...

Zora took her moment of silence as hesitance and pressed.  “Train me. It doesn’t have to be often.  So long as we meet up at least twice, preferably four times a year.  You can evaluate me and give me tips and pointers.  Agree to that and I’ll agree to wait until I get my grimoire no matter what.”

“Zora. Proper training takes more than two to four meet ups a year.”

“Fine. Then don’t call it training.  Call it instruction. Direction. Whatever you like.  Start giving me homework in the letters you write. I promise I’ll start writing back.  Tell me what I’m doing wrong and how to fix it.  What I have to do to get better.  Give me goals to reach.  Books to read.  Give me battle scenario’s that I have to figure out so I learn how to think about and look at stuff. Please, Teris.  I swear I’ll be the best student you ever had.”

“Even if this were to work.  Which it won’t.  This isn’t right.  Your father wouldn’t want this.  Me training you to get revenge...”

“It’s better than me trying to learn on my own.  Getting my grimoire and going after them.”  Zora argued. “I’d likely die at the hands of the first person I faced. You think my father would want you to leave me to that fate?”

Teris looked away.  She knew Zara would want what was best for his son.  But she could talk herself dizzy trying to figure out what Zara would've considered best for Zora in this situation.  If she did as Zora asked, he’d likely get himself killed or imprisoned.  But if she didn’t help him, he’d definitely get himself killed or imprisoned.  Rubbing her forehead she wondered what Julius would do.  No.  In this circumstance, that wasn’t the right question.  What would Commander Greywright or Jax do?

“Alright.” Teris said, at length.  “But you have to keep your word.  No seeking these people out.  No doing anything against them.  Even if they cross your path.  Not until you’re fifteen and have your grimoire.”

Zora held out his hand.  “Deal.”

Teris looked at the friend bond bracelet hanging on the wrist of his outstretched hand.  Squinting a grimacing eye shut, she silently apologized to Zara and shook Zora’s hand.

89.4

Julius exited his office, grateful to call it an early day.  “Commander?” His heart dropped at Greywright’s brooding expression.  “What’s going on?”

Greywright pushed passed Julius to enter the Azure Deers Captain's office, sitting heavily before the desk.

Julius and Jon shared a look.  The Captain turned and stepped back into his office, while Jon sighed and returned to his desk outside his Captain's office, keeping watch.

“Can I get you anything, sir?”  Julius offered, closing the door.

“Answers.”

“Sir?” Julius moved around the desk.

“What are you and Jax up to?  I clearly remember stating I wanted to know any and everything the two of you learned, dealt with, or planned regarding the Agents of Chaos or this mess with Ellara.”

Julius stared at the Knights Commander in confusion as he sank into the chair behind his desk.

“Jax took off.”  Greywright told.

“Well there was that party for the young Witch Yami found--”

“I know about that.”  Greywright snapped, temper made short in his concern.  “Who do you think approved his ask to give all but one member of his squad two days off so they could go to that thing.”

“Jax was debating about going himself.  Gilly was going to be there. Maybe he decided to go last minute?”  Julius continued after the Commander's interruption.

Greywright frowned, realizing Julius knew nothing of Jax’s plans.  Though relieved that the two Captain's hadn’t disobeyed and kept anything from him; he was also further distressed.

“No.” The Knights Commander pulled Jax’s hastily penned letter from his cloak.  “I returned to my office a couple hours ago to find this. Lucky for Jax, he was already long gone.”  He handed Julius the letter.

Julius opened the missive and read: Learned of something that might help.  Going to fetch it.  Be back in a few days.

“Learned of what?”  Julius asked, brows furrowed.

“That’s what I was hoping you’d tell me.”

“I don’t know.”

“I figured out that much, Julius, thank you.”

Julius read the three short sentences over again.  “He doesn’t even give a date for his return.  Just saying he’ll be back in a few days.”

“I’m aware.”  Greywright said, tapping down his worry.  After losing Bronn to this mess, Jax going off on his own, without giving date of his expected return…

Julius dropped the letter on his desk and simmered.  “He’s going to get an earful when he gets back.  Going off on his own without saying where he’s going, for what, or when he’ll be back…  He knows better.  With everything’s that’s happened and dangers still out there--”  He stopped, not wanting to voice his fears as if doing so would bring them to fruition.  “This isn’t what friend's do.”

Comments are VERY MUCH appreciated and really make my day.  Thank you to those who have left hearts.  And a special THANK YOU to those who have recently commented or re-blogged. It really means a lot.

Next chapter snippet:

Eager to get back to Teris, Yami closed and latched the gate.  “It doesn’t matter.  Let’s go back.”

Dark eyes glinting in the moonlight, Ellara told.  “You’re not going anywhere, Vice Captain.”

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Hey! I’m kinda new in the vds ship, do u have any fic rec. for me? 🥰

Hiii 🥺 sorry it took me so long to answer this! I could list literally the whole vds ao3 tag on here because there isn’t a single vds fic I don’t like. But I’ve tried to just pick out some of my favourites, mostly ones that are a bit longer :)

Complete:

Starstruck (The Idea of Always) by fantasiesandmemories

I needed Jens and Lucas to be canon so I took care of it myself.

(Starts at the Christmas party in s3)

(literally the best fic ever)

The Boyfriend Challenge by silver_etoile

A Q&A on the vlog might get Jens more than he expects when he mentions a fellow vlogger. Jens is pretty sure Lucas had no idea who he was before, but he definitely does now.

Coffee & Creamer by silver_etoile

This very cute guy has been coming into the cafe for months but Lucas hasn't worked up the courage to talk to him yet. Today might be the day.

Downward Facing Dog by silver_etoile

Jens thinks he got pretty lucky in the flatmate department--two cool guys from the Netherlands--but that was before he walked in on Lucas practicing yoga in the living room. There has to be a way for Jens to stop thinking about it and not ruin his friendship with Lucas, but he has no idea what that is or if he even wants to.

Beautiful stranger by Kartoffelblume

The broerrrs go on a ski trip again, this time it is Jens who meets a beautiful stranger in the ski lift.

First part isn't necessary to read this :)

alone together (we can stay young forever) by silver_etoile

“Don’t look now, but there’s a cute guy checking you out across the cafe."

Lucas caught deep brown eyes darting away, back to the two guys he was sitting with.

A chance meeting in a cafe with a cute boy from Belgium is only the first step in Lucas discovering what it is he truly wants.

Rainy Nights in Belgium by helloforelith

When Jens and Lucas run into a bad storm on the road, they have no choice but to take shelter at a bed and breakfast.

some nights (I wish that my lips could build a castle) by teen_content_queen

An AU where Robbe x Sander and Jens x Lucas VDH deal with growing up, fighting and falling in love.

*the chapter titles are inspired by Fun's Some Nights album but the actually story is only kind of inspired by the songs*

We're going to try for weekly updates. Enjoy!

Quarantine Dreams by silver_etoile

The last thing Jens wants to do while stuck at home indefinitely is do homework, but a group project with a cute new boy surprises Jens more than he realizes.

Incoming videocall by Kartoffelblume

The notification sound startles Jens in the middle of the movie he’s currently watching - he doesn’t expect any calls at the moment - at least none he remembers. Probably it’s just Robbe trying to catch up, he tells himself while getting in an upright position and accepting the call.

It’s not Robbe. Instead there is curly brown hair and really blue eyes.

- Jens and Lucas originally just wanted to talk about school stuff but they quickly end up falling for each other instead

just roommates by ravenbrenna09

Over the course of the first few months, their roommateship had simply been that. They shared a bedroom and living space together. Whenever one of them had to study for a test or complete a paper, the other one generally tried to be quiet and non-distracting or left the dorm all together to give them the peace and solitude that the other person needed. But, one day, it somehow shifted and they became almost something close to friends.

And, that’s all Jens expected them to be.

Friends.

Roommates.

Until, well, they weren’t.

The Price I Pay by silver_etoile

The worst part about Jens’ mom suddenly deciding they needed to get as far away from Jens’ dad as possible wasn’t moving to Utrecht, of all places, it was that Jens had no one to talk to about this new, unexpected crush on a boy in his class.

In progress:

i wanna feel weightless by heart_made_of_glass

An AU where Jens is Spider-Man, and he meets Lucas by accident one night when he gets hurt.

Title of the series from the song “Weightless” by All Time Low

(this is actually a series with two complete parts!)

Jens’ season by My_Evak_Heart

To most, Jens is confidence in a bottle. He has success with girls, a good family and the best of friends. But, what if Jens' life was different behind closed doors?

(THIS IS A TEMPORARY SUMMARY)

These Feelings I Got/Lucas’ Season by justpolyester

Leaving the Netherlands wasn't a thing that Lucas would have excepted to happen. His life had been going pretty well.

But then, things changed and he got torn out of his life. Moving in with his dad, someone he hasn't seen since he was four. Moving to a country so close and still so far from home. He just didn't want all of this, his plan was to hate his new life in Antwerp. But then he meets new people, friends that make him smile, that he wants to like. And there's him.

read the parts when they happen (and bonus parts) on my Tumblr->

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/matteomymood

I Don’t Want To Be Your Friend I Want To Kiss Your Neck by Peachteari

Jens rolls his eyes. “Okay, then show me more, convince me,” he says with a cocky smile.

Lucas stares out the window, staying silent for a second.

“Unless you don’t want to show me more, of course,” Jens says, realising art can be something very personal.

Lucas looks back at Jens. “Maybe another time,” he says before ducking down to grab another box and walking back to his dresser.

Jens stays silent for a second, watching Lucas walk away. The small interaction had left him stunned for some reason.

[A van Der Stoffels college roommate fic]

Spotless Mind by RoseHarker9

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

And surely Lucas didn't know what he was going to get at that party his friends dragged him to. And neither does a boy who is traveling in train from the opposite direction but in the same direction.

"Lucas couldn’t help but look around, not to girls, obviously.

Lately, his eyes wandered on boys without him noticing, it was like an instinct. His previous attempts with boys scared him more than attract him. Too blatant, too explicit: he had the need to take things slow. He wanted to fall in love, to feel his guts turning upside down and his cheeks flush, even though he knew that it was a ridiculous thought. No one would have wanted something like that from him.

None of the boys at the party was lighting that particular spark in him, no one awakened nothing in him that was barely meaningful until he clearly felt something twitch and twirl in his stomach.

The music seemed to stop just for him.

Dark hair, sharp face, tall and lean."

Cotton Candy Skies Always Look Better In Person by fantasiesandmemories

Not even Robbe knows. Robbe, who knows close to everything about Jens, save for a few things, including what the fuck he does on Thursdays.

It's not that he's ashamed or embarrassed, he's not.

But really, he'd rather his friends see him in a hoodie and on a skateboard than in pink tights holding on to a barre.

So yeah.....literally everything. If you want to follow them on here check out @azozzoni (silver_etoile), @kartoffelblume, @justvibin (fantasiesandmemories), @franboos1 & @livsisa (Peachteari), @ravenbrenna09, @all-things-skam (My_Evak_Heart), @teen-content-queen, @roseharker9 and @matteomymood (justpolyester)

There are also great things I don’t have listed by @pduwd, @hopetofantasy, @noorakviigmohn, @malecacidd and more on ao3 as well as more I’m sure I’m forgetting ;-; but this should get you off to a good start!

[usagichibamamorutsukino]

To all of the Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask Haters

This is my post on the Sailor Moon subreddit! I am very proud of the arguments I made and am extremely thankful for the amazing response I got! I got Reddit Gold for the first time in my life! I’m sharing it today here on my Tumblr, the place where I have found a wonderful niche of Tuxedo Mask and Usamamo lovers like me! Here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/sailormoon/comments/d0zm4c/to_all_of_the_mamorutuxedo_mask_haters/

Here is my post: 

Hi everyone! I wanted to share my comment on a video interview of the Viz dub voices for the Sailor Moon and Sailor Moon Crystal anime, Stephanie Sheh (Usagi), and Robbie Daymond (Mamoru). The interviewer talked about why she believes it's justified to hate Tuxedo Mask and why he isn't right for Usagi. The topics I covered in my initial comment are included here in greater detail. I am basing my response below on: the manga, the original 90's anime and its 3 movies, Sailor Moon Crystal, Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, interviews with Naoko Takeuchi, articles that analyze the storylines and utilize fact-checking references, as well as my interpretation and analysis that bases itself on the cannon and overall understanding of the portrayal of the human characters and interactions in the story.

Obligatory note: You are entitled to your own opinion as I am entitled to my own. However, I feel obligated to voice my opinion and defense for Tuxedo Mask as he gets so much hate in the fandom, and there is so much misinformation about him. There are so many posts and articles trying to prove that Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru is definitively a horrible character, that he sucks, he is useless, etc. It is one thing to have your opinion. It is another to be so vocal about your hatred for a character basing your hatred on misinformation and superficial arguments.

In my lengthy post, I will discuss specific topics and arguments that people bring up to defend their hatred of Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru and his relationship to Sailor Moon/Usagi. I hope you enjoy reading and gain some perspective.

In the original anime, Usagi and Mamoru didn't have any feelings or love for one another UNTIL they remembered their past lives

I rewatched Season 1 of the original anime this past week and took notes of each encounter between Usagi and Mamoru until they remember their past lives. I analyzed their dialogue, how the animators portrayed their body language around each other, as well as how they talk about one another to other characters. Let’s begin our study by reading this quote from the manga in Act 10 when Usagi recounts that in her encounters with Mamoru: “I would get defensive, and we would get into a fight. We actually never had a real conversation. But the truth is… I was always so excited and happy to see him. That’s why we ran to each other… isn’t it? The two of us were drawn to each other.”

In the 90s anime, Usagi and Mamoru have an initially confrontational relationship. Mamoru’s first impression of Usagi was of a girl who hit him on the head with a crumbled-up test with a horrifying grade. Usagi’s first impression of Mamoru was a guy who told her she should study more; she was mortified and embarrassed by this, so she stuck her tongue out at him and walked away, disregarding him as a “weirdo”. The second time they bump into each other, Usagi throws a shoe at his head by accident, and she doesn’t apologize. The third time they meet, they bump into one another when Usagi is dreaming about “her future boyfriend.” She mistakenly apologizes to a pole, and Mamoru finds this funny and says that she should watch where she is going. Naru asks Usagi if she knows who that guy is, as he is “totally gorgeous” and Usagi responds “Wrong! There is nothing gorgeous about him!” By the 5th and 7th episodes, when Mamoru sees Usagi, he goes up to her and says, “Hey!” like they were friends. At the end of their conversation in Ep. 7, when Usagi walks away annoyed, we pan back to Mamoru, who is smiling at her genuinely. Through all of these interactions, Mamoru and Usagi go from strangers who are annoyed by each other’s existence to people who run into each other so often that Mamoru can find some humor in it.

You have to consider that Mamoru is acerbic since he is becoming Tuxedo Mask without his knowledge, is sleep deprived, has retrograde amnesia, and barely has anyone in his life who truly cares about him. He meets this girl who has hit him on the head, has bumped into him and has been rude to him on multiple accounts, of course, he’s going to return Usagi’s comments. But as he spends more time around her group, the teasing becomes well-meaning. Usagi shows that she values his advice, such as in Ep. 17 and when she is deciding if telling Naru about Nephrite's evil doings is a good idea or not. Usagi was visibly jealous of Rei’s crush on Mamoru and her three outings with him. Mamoru brought up "Bunhead" when Rei stopped him on the street to ask him out. He mentioned "Usagi" when talking to Motoki when the conversation wasn't about her but rather about Makoto. She's on his mind from early on.

There is a fantastic post that also discusses some of the points of evidence that Usagi and Mamoru had crushes on one another before they remembered their past lives, https://aminoapps.com/c/sailor-moon/page/blog/my-thoughts-on-mamoru-and-usagi/eYX5_MMdI3udVa3xwNvqExdKarRMM0xGlrm . One of my favorite observations is this: "Mamoru mostly teased her about her love life. When we look at what a person mostly tease someone about, it can give us an idea about their true intentions behind it. Mamoru teased her about romance-related things quite a few times, saying she wouldn’t get a boyfriend if she weren’t more lady-like, teasing her about Motoki twice, and her 'not-so-date' with Umino (it really wasn’t though). Not to mention when Motoki asked Mamoru why he always treated Usagi like that, Mamoru says, 'I guess we weren’t meant for each other.' " Also, in reply to this post, u/Rockabore1 made a fantastic analysis regarding the deeper meaning behind Usagi and Mamoru's teasing in the beginning:

"I love that you point out all the nuance in the way Mamoru and Usagi's relationship grew from roasting each other to realizing they care about each other and actually love being around each other. When they met, neither were really emotionally mature enough at that point to figure out an excuse to spend time together, and they kept using teasing each other as a reliable way to do it. I talked to another redditor about a scene that strikes me as a very multilayered in that regard. In episode 17, since when Mamoru talked about qualities, make a girl beautiful after Usagi feels discouraged to meet with the photographer. He describes 'someone with a kind-heart and bravery to do the right thing even when it's hard to do.' He says it with a directness like he means it as 'I see these qualities in you.' Yet he plays it off by saying, 'Obviously, you lack those qualities,' in a challenging way. I read it as him giving her the determination to try and prove him wrong because he knows she's not a quitter. Usagi went to the arcade to get Motoki to boost her ego, which she knew he would since he's always supportive, and Motoki's platitudes made her happy but didn't inspire her, whereas, Mamoru challenging her was what pushed her to actually go out and prove it. When she leaves, Motoki notes how the two always bicker, and Mamoru seems to half-heartedly lament that things always turn into an argument when they see each other and that 'I guess we're not meant to be.' It seems like he's admitting that he doesn't know how to give her a compliment without feeling silly or embarrassed to act like a softie, and he doesn't know how they could change (which obviously they do, but at the time both were really stubborn)."

In Ep. 28, they already demonstrate to the viewer that they have crushes on each other. Usagi, sitting next to him, thinks to herself, “but hey, he does look pretty handsome," then out loud, she says, "Oh geez, what am I thinking stop it Usagi, Tuxedo Mask is the only one I love!” He looks at her, and when she looks away embarrassed, he smiles at her. At the end of the episode, when Usagi says that their painting came out beautiful, Mamoru says, “I’d say it looks pretty good considering who the model was…” and his eyes immediately shot at USAGI! But she thinks he’s talking about himself, so she reacts annoyed. And in the last episode of the first season, when everyone gets their memory erased, Mamoru smiles genuinely after meeting Usagi. This encounter was just like the first one they had at the beginning of the series and similar to their third encounter as well. His reaction could very well have been the reaction he had after meeting her for the first time, but we, the viewers, didn’t get to see it. They had an attraction to each other from the start. Usagi felt that she made two horrible first impressions on Mamoru and even though she obviously found him attractive (as she later states on countless occasions), she felt that “this is an attractive guy I would’ve had a crush on now thinks I’m a ditz, so I’m going to treat him like I don’t care about him.”

Mamoru is someone who came from an upbringing with little attachment and has been pursued for his looks and wealth for presumably a long time. Think about how many characters and villains have hit on him. How Motoki told Rei that he lives in an expensive apartment all alone because of his inheritance, and her eyes lit up. Usagi probably is the only girl who isn’t fawning over him when they meet and instead is capable of sparing jokes at each other’s expense. His way of showing his attraction is not the best, but Usagi isn’t perfect either. I also noticed how, when Rei bumped into Mamoru in a ploy to ask him out, he acted concerned for her falling down for a moment, asked if she was alright and went on his way. Rei stopped him again, and he reluctantly stuck around for coffee. Meanwhile, every time Usagi bumps into him, he sticks around for a bit to tease her and get teased back. Why did Mamoru go out of his way to spend more time with "the annoying Bunhead” than he needed to? He even goes up to her to spar and teases her, and she reciprocates too.

At the end of Rei's first "date" with Mamoru, she tells Usagi that Mamoru is probably Tuxedo Mask, Usagi says that there's no way that he could be. Mamoru asks, "huh, who is Tuxedo Mask?" like he’s genuinely curious after Usagi noted the comment about Tuxedo Mask. Umino interrupts and asks Usagi to continue their own “date,” Mamoru says, “uuu, so that’s your type, huh?” in a flirty manner. This implies, "oh, so that's why you act like you don't like me. I'm not your type." Usagi is embarrassed and blushing during this whole encounter. Later, in Ep. 30, when Yuichiro and Rei are hitting it off, Usagi is ecstatic about getting them together. Rei tells her, "you know Mamoru is my guy, so what are you trying to pull here?" Usagi blushes embarrassed, her crush on Mamoru is obvious, her jealousy of Rei is evident. Even Ami starts to see this in Ep. 31 where Rei excuses herself from a Sunday outing with the girls for a "date," Ami tells this to Usagi while nervous, knowing Usagi will react annoyed at the thought of Rei going on a date with Mamoru. However, on Mamoru's part, he never took the outings with Rei seriously. He saw her as more of a friend while she was the one pursuing him to go with her on “dates.” Also, when talking with Motoki about the girls, he seemingly got really nervous at the thought of Rei “liking” him as more than a friend. After he realizes that he is Tuxedo Mask and realizes his strong connection with Sailor Moon and the princess to who appears to him in his recurring dream, he basically stops interacting with her altogether. In fact, in this same episode I just mentioned, Rei calls Mamoru to ask him out on a date but is met with his voice mail. We pan to Mamoru in the balcony of his apartment, ignoring Rei's voice message and instead of thinking about how he is determined to get the last rainbow crystal to find the legendary silver crystal and recover his lost memories.

Who can forget episode 34, where Usagi and Mamoru discovered each other's secret identities. Usagi recognizes Mamoru walking along the Juban Shopping District; she playfully hits him on the back, “Hey there, how you doing guy?” He grunts in pain. She genuinely asks him, "What’s wrong?" He responds, “Oh, hey Bunhead, you're sure cheerful today.” Usagi: “Well, excuse me then, it just so happens that I am a cheerful person all of the time!” and sticks her tongue out, as she does. He responds with a smile, “I hope you’ll always be that way. Take care, okay?” and walks away, holding his shoulder. Usagi reacts, confused, “What’s with him? He isn’t acting like himself.”, and notices his shoulder is hurt, “Could he be hurt in some way?” Mamoru probably thought he was going to die in the battle with Zoisite; he was also depressed about not being able to protect Sailor Moon, in what Mamoru thought was his last time seeing Usagi, he was kind and told her that she should always remain her cheerful self. Worried, she follows him. When he discovers this, he is genuinely surprised that she was worried about him. Mamoru didn't have anyone in his life who worried about him. In the iconic elevator ride, he genuinely opens up to her. He tells her about his past, his recurring dream, why he is looking for the silver crystal, things he hasn't told anyone else before. When she tells him, “You know what? Before, I thought you were the worst person in the whole wide world. But not anymore, now you’re the second worst.” The way Mamoru looked at her as she blushed saying that, the way he prioritized Usagi’s safety over the rainbow crystals, the way he pushed her out of the way from falling icicles, the way he looked at her when he saw his Bunhead transform into THE Sailor Moon, the way he looked at her when he pulled out that rose and turned into Tuxedo Mask. Mamoru and Usagi fell for each other long before they discovered they were Serenity and Endymion. Sure, it's not as explicit and cinematic as how it is portrayed in the manga and Sailor Moon Crystal. But their attraction is there. They are on each other's minds from early on.

The way the writers developed their relationship is actually genius. By the moonlight, Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon flirt, and he calls her smart and beautiful, and he believes in her leadership and talent as a superhero. Meanwhile, by daylight, Mamoru and Usagi bicker like a married couple. It's like Lois Lane falling in love with Super Man but dismissing Clark Kent. The dialogue they share, their body language, how others notice their connection goes a little further than they realize; I recommend that you rewatch Sailor Moon Season 1 and the first arc of Sailor Moon R (Makaiju) and notice how Usagi and Mamoru act around each other and how their feelings for one another develop. It's there as clear as day, and honestly, it's one of the reasons I love Sailor Moon. It's the best story ever told. Heck, even the intro song is from Usagi's perspective, singing about her miracle romance with Mamoru.

I think the most notable difference between Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship in Season 1 and Season 2 is that Usagi is much nicer to him in Season 2. As a result, Mamoru is much friendlier to Usagi. This, in turn, provides heartwarming moments between them, such as when they took care of a baby, their first “date” at the arcade, Mamoru’s sigh of relief when Usagi shows up to interrupt Natsuki’s incessant flirting, his blushing when Usagi called herself cute and when he thought Usagi was on a date with Seijuro, as well as many more moments between them. The reason Usagi treats him much nicer is because, at the beginning of Season 2, Usagi remembered her previous lives, she remembered who Mamoru is, his personality, what they went through, how he puts himself in danger to protect her, how he died for her, and most of all, she remembered why she fell in love with him. It becomes her mission to get Mamoru to remember who she is, what they’ve endured together, and how they fell in love. The Makaijju arc serves as a retelling of their love story, as Mamoru falls in love with Usagi all over again. This happens gradually; he starts to see how this Bunhead girl went from someone who is rude to him to someone who enjoys his company, cares about others, brave, fun to be around, and is a kind friend. When they are both captured by the Makaiju tree, Mamoru asks Usagi if she is alright and reaches out to hold her hand. When he and Sailor Moon are being thrown and flung around the room, he holds on to Usagi/Sailor Moon’s hand even though this aggravates their antagonists more, causing them to inflict more pain on them. He jumps in front of Sailor Moon to protect her near-fatal blows, as she did for him, because in Usagi’s words: ���I’m willing to risk my life in order to protect anyone I truly love.” At this moment, Mamoru had already fallen in love with Usagi again. It wasn’t until he felt the same love he had felt in his past lives that his consciousness, the Moonlight Knight, returned his memories. Therefore, he fell for Usagi before he remembered their past lives. His undying need to protect her literally took physical form as the Moonlight Knight. This proves that Mamoru doesn’t love Usagi because she is Serenity and because of destiny, but because he genuinely loves Usagi. The cutest part of this moment was Mamoru waking Usagi up after the battle, and calling her his little Bunhead Usagi Tsukino.

Many people argue that he fell for Sailor Moon and settled for Usagi once he found out they were the same person. It is undeniable that Tuxedo Mask felt strong feelings for Sailor Moon since he could sense when she was in danger and felt this urge to protect her. However, Tuxedo Mask made an enemy of Sailor Moon and the Sailor Senshi when it came to finding the rainbow crystals. In The Shining Silver Crystal, Mamoru and Usagi are confronted by Zoisite, who demands that Mamoru surrender his own rainbow crystals so that they can fight, and the winner takes all. Mamoru tells Zoisite that he will do so only if he promises not to harm Usagi and let her go. This was BEFORE he knew that she was Sailor Moon. He prioritized Usagi’s safety over his unwavering personal mission of finding the silver crystal. He didn’t do this for Sailor Moon; he did this for Usagi.

One of the most important arguments, if not, the most crucial evidence for the validity of Usagi and Mamoru’s love for one another is why they fell in love and if it is merely because of destiny, as many skeptics online cite this as the only reason Usagi and Mamoru are together because they feel obligated to stay together due to past in the Silver Millennium and “destiny.” I found a fantastic essay series by Sailor Moon and Me, all about studying the dynamics of Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship to ultimately answer if they truly love one another in the original 90’s anime. You can find the whole series here; I highly recommend you read it! https://sailormoonandme.tumblr.com/post/93343451085/usagi-and-mamoru-essay-series-contents-page-and

In conclusion, the author writes: “Would Usagi and Mamoru have wound up together if they had not regained their memories from their past lives? If given the right opportunities to get to know each other better, almost certainly yes. And those opportunities would’ve probably presented themselves somehow because their past lives/destiny would’ve been influencing them. Remember, they even met as children. Were they obligated to be together because of their past lives? Not exactly. Their past lives guided them and influenced them, but the personality traits that Serenity and Endymion found attractive in one another were present in Usagi and Mamoru and was likely what they’re modern-day incarnations found attractive too. In particular, these traits were on display as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask and Usagi and Mamoru already effectively loved one another in through those identities anyway.” The author highlights a key aspect, the reason Usagi and Mamoru have fallen in love over and over again: they find each other’s personality traits attractive! Earlier in the essay series, the author brilliantly proves how, in the anime, Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask and Endymion act in the same way, as well as Usagi/Sailor Moon and Serenity. They are the same people, so if they fell in love during the Silver Millennium, they can fall in love again for the same reason, they like each other’s personalities!

Mamoru's breakup with Usagi

In the anime, after they finally get together during Sailor Moon R, he finally feels like he’s not alone. Then he gets these visions prophesizing that the woman he loves will die if he continues to be with her. He struggles with what to do; he just found someone who completes him, who gave him his lost memories and the meaning of his life. Who saw the best in him and believed in him even after him being brainwashed and soul strangled by the evil Metalia. He knows the pain that he’s caused her. He still has memories of being under Metaria's evil magic. He realized how possessed he was, enough to attempt to behead Usagi without question. He just learned that continuing to be a part of her life could put her in grave danger. He doesn’t take this lightly and breaks up with her because he thought he would protect her.

Mamoru thought that HE, HIMSELF, was the danger to Usagi. That's why he tried to get her to hate him. Even I initially judged the breakup arc as a victim of "bad writing" for Mamoru and Usagi's relationship. A few lines littered over a few episodes are unfortunately very negative coming from Mamoru's part. I cannot defend them when taken out of context. I am disappointed that the writers decided to include those few lines since they don't even correlate to Mamoru's character growth and overarching character arc over five seasons.

Furthermore, from his part, these comments are blatant attempts to portray himself as a despicable person, so Usagi would forget about him and move on. He thought that by getting Usagi to hate him, she would distance herself from him and be saved from the horrible fate he kept seeing in his nightmare. Many people use this as "evidence" that Mamoru "didn't love Usagi," and that he is a "horrible person." It is very easy to judge a guy breaking up with a girl as wonderful as Usagi and being so cold towards her. However, when you see Mamoru realize that marrying Usagi will cause her immediate death and that his only way of protecting her from this doom is to break up with her, he already hates himself. To provide more perspective of how this impacted him when he meets King Endymion in the future and realizes he was the one prophesying Usagi's death if Mamoru continues to be with her, Mamoru charges at him with anger.

There is no logical reason that Mamoru would willingly choose to make Usagi suffer. Why would he purposely put the only person he considers his family and his soulmate through so much pain and suffering. The breakup is as hard on him as it is on Usagi. This is clearly seen in Ep. 69, at the end, when he is crying by his motorcycle. He should’ve told Usako the truth about the dream. But she beats him to it in a later episode, and they decide to take control of their lives and be together, instead of believing in the nightmare. She was the one to believe in the strength of their love and do the right thing. Thanks to this arc, they learned that together they are unstoppable. Mamoru learned to trust Usagi wholeheartedly and to trust himself, as he felt that HE was the danger in her life. After the revelation that the messages from King Endymion were to test Mamoru's love for Usagi, even Mamoru realizes he made a horrible decision to lie to Usagi and hurt her the way he did. He realizes how dumb he was and latches on to Usagi and never lets her go again.

Furthermore, to provide a silver lining to the breakup arc, we have further evidence of just how much Mamoru loves Usagi. If he didn't love her, as so many people in the fandom like to claim, the breakup was his way out. But he didn't just up and leave. He hated that he had to be apart from Usagi. He truly loves her with all of his heart. He never once stopped calling her Usako. He never stopped being in awe of Sailor Moon's power, calling her invincible when talking about her to Chibiusa. He continued to help her and the Sailor Senshi in battle. He dreamt about marrying her; he imagined her face reflected on rivers; when he continued to run into her after the breakup, he was solemn realizing that it is fate that keeps making them meet.

This breakup isn’t my favorite part of the season at all, but it provides real character development and allows us to explore Mamoru’s fears and heartache. You see Usagi gets heartbroken, but she doesn't lose faith; she doesn't stop believing in Mamoru and love; she still has her circle of friends and family to fall back on. Mamoru had no one. Usagi was the only one he let in his heart. In the Sailor Moon R movie, he tells Usagi that his years of loneliness were worth it because he found her, and that she is his family. For years, Mamoru had the same dream about a princess who pleaded to him “find the silver crystal, find the silver crystal.” And this princess ended up being a real person! The girl with the weird hair he kept running into, Bunhead, Usagi, Usako! Are we internalizing how insane that is? To have literally no memories before your sixth birthday, to not remember your parents, to be an orphan with no family or close relationships, to have a recurring dream that wakes you in a cold sweat about the same person every time that pleads that you find this mysterious crystal you know nothing about? It’s insane. Of course, Mamoru has trouble with interpersonal relationships in the beginning. It’s thanks to Usagi’s constant love towards him and their growth as a couple that he becomes a kinder and more trusting person as the series goes on. Mamoru's connection to Usagi is so much deeper than the anime lets on at surface level. Mamoru went from someone who has had his memory stolen already three times, to someone who has finally found the love of his life, who was no longer alone, to someone who was forced to break his soulmate's heart and be pushed back to loneliness.

I recommend this great article that talks more about the breakup and Mamoru's perspective! http://starlight.csmalecki.com/reads/breakup.php

Mamoru's relationship with Chibiusa

On that note, of course, Mamoru felt a connection to Chibiusa. He was an orphan with no family, he finds this little kid all alone, of course, he is going to feel an urge to help her feel less alone. He connects with Chibiusa because he sees Usako in her; because he no longer has anyone else to fill the void of loneliness. Mamoru and Chibiusa are some of the characters that carry the underlying theme of loneliness in the Sailor Moon story. Chibiusa saw Mamo as someone who reminded her of her dad, and for a little girl who feels helpless and is separated from her parents, utterly alone in this strange world where she doesn't know who to trust, it is reasonable for her to latch onto him. She sees these people who look like her parents and Sailor Senshi back home but behave nothing like them. Mamoru is one of the few characters who is continuously nice to her and there for her; logically, she would want to be around him. There is an excellent article that talks about Chibiusa's "Electra Complex," I highly recommend you read it: https://shojopower.com/beautiful-like-you-black-ladys-uncomfortable-electra-complex/. Basically, it concludes that Chibiusa's "Electra Complex" is NOT sexual desire for her father but instead not being able to relate to her mother, "The Electra Complex is less about a daughter’s sexual desire for her father, but much more about the relationship between daughter and mother; the female child and her best friend." Once Chibiusa becomes Black Lady, her innocent feelings of love and attachment towards Mamoru get exploited and tainted and manifest as "sexual" attraction. But in reality, once Chibiusa can relate to Usagi, her "Electra Complex" is resolved, and Black Lady is defeated.

Tuxedo Mask is "useless."

What a double standard. Just because he is a man, he has to be the Batman or Spider-Man of the story? It’s called Sailor Moon. She is Wonder Woman; he is Steve Trevor. Tuxedo Mask exists to help Sailor Moon and support her, but Sailor Moon is the protector of the universe. The story is all about her and her fellow Sailor Senshi. It’s a female empowerment story; if you think that a male character is “useless” because he isn’t the one saving the day, you are missing the point. Tuxedo Mask has physically aided the Senshi in combat on countless occasions.

Furthermore, during numerous battles, if Tuxedo Mask had not shown up to shoot a single rose, Sailor Moon and the Senshi would have been goners. He utilizes his knowledge of physics and math during battles and is capable in hand to hand combat, as well as a formidable swordsman. In the manga and Sailor Moon Crystal, he has his own super-powered attack, Tuxedo La Smoking Bomber. Even cooler, he has a combined attack with his daughter, Pink Sugar Tuxedo Attack. He takes the place of Sailor Earth and Sailor Sun, as he possesses the golden sailor crystal. Concerning Earth, he recognizes it as his guardian planet and can "see" what the Earth feels. Concerning the sun, Takeuchi made him a Leo, a constellation related to the sun, also, when he dies, Nehellenia states that he is "The Prince of Earth, protected by the Sun."

He buys the Senshi time to power up for their Sailor Planet attack; he's freed them from traps from where they can't escape alone, he distracts villains and disables them with supernaturally strong rose darts, allowing the Senshi to give the finishing blow. I have to note; his aim is deadly. His rose darts took down Queen Beryl and Fiore, as well as others. He doesn't leave the scene until he sees the situation is under control and that the girls can handle it from there. In his dying words during the Stars arc, he proclaims that the Senshi will stop Galaxia, that she doesn't stand a chance. He believes in each of the Senshi's strengths and gives them useful advice that they apply to the situation and helps them succeed. In the story, his character supports female heroes and helps them do their best. As a female, I feel completely empowered and inspired by Sailor Moon/Usagi, by each of the Senshi and the story in general. It is rare to see female superheroes kicking butt, in a world of countless Iron Man, Captain America, Batman, Superman, and Spider-Man movies and a less than a handful of Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel movies. A male superhero in a female superhero driven story is not "useless," they simply aren't the star of the battle, and there is nothing wrong with that.

The consensus is that Usagi's kidnapping by Prince Demande is straight-up assault and absolutely repulsive from Demade's part. And rightfully so, Usagi, in tears being grabbed and forced to kiss him is horrible and uncomfortable to watch. Compare this moment to Mamoru's kidnappings. He has been objectified and kidnapped by countless villains in the story. How is this different from Usagi's kidnapping? He is forced to kiss his own daughter possessed by evil, pinned against a wall by Fish's Eye trying to get a kiss from him while he is explicitly rejecting this and saying no, was submitted to bodily possession by Metaria's dark magic on two occasions with Queen Beryl (who is obsessed and infatuated with him) doing who knows what to his unconscious body. I could go on and on, Fiore, An, Mio Kuroki; there are many occasions where Mamoru has been objectified, kidnapped, and assaulted. It is disturbing that so many people interpret this as "weakness" from Mamoru's part. These assaults and objectification are against his will. A man who has been through these horrible experiences is NOT weak. Please don't contribute to this harmful double standard. A person being assaulted is a victim, regardless of their gender.

Finally, in the first episode, when Sailor Moon is crying because she doesn't know how to fight the monster terrorizing her best friend, Tuxedo Mask appears to her and tells her "Sailor Moon, crying won't solve anything." Taken at face value, this comment is bewildering since, in that scenario (and another battle scenario in Sailor Moon SuperS), her crying became ultrasonic and incapacitated her enemies. But this comment goes further, this comment sets the tone for Usagi's series-long journey into maturing and getting over her crying habit; this is part of Sailor Moon’s character development. This personal growth is highlighted in Ep. 74 when Usagi decides to face Rubeus alone to save her friends. She reflects on how, before she would've been a total crybaby if she had to go by herself to defeat a villain, she is amazed at how far she has come emotionally. She realizes that truthfully, "crying won't solve anything." As the seasons go on, her being a self-proclaimed crybaby is still used as a point of comedy, but in the moments of real desperation, she handles herself with maturity and bravery. So, ultimately, she valued what Tuxedo Mask said to her the first time they met.

Usagi and Mamoru's age gap

One of the biggest points of misinformation in Sailor Moon is Mamoru and Usagi's age difference and the legality of their relationship. Mamoru Chiba is 17. At the start of the manga, Takeuchi intended for Mamoru to be as young as 16. Usagi Tsukino starts the story as 14, but she actually isn’t 14 for very long. The Japan school semester begins in April, and her birthday is in June. This means that Seasons 1-3 happen pretty quickly. Therefore the age difference between Mamoru and Usagi isn’t that drastic at all. Furthermore, the fact of the matter is, Mamoru behaves older than he is. Why? He has had to mature very early on in his life. He has had to take care of himself for presumably a long time. Usagi has the perfect nuclear family and at the start of the series and is rather immature. She matures as the series goes on because of her responsibilities as a guardian and protector of the galaxy. At face value, it's easy to judge Mamoru and Usagi's relationship as one with a significant age gap. However, this isn't the case. 2-3 years of age difference is not outstanding at all and in Japan even less so. They are both above the age of consent of 13 and are still both teenagers. Even in the original anime, many scripts list Mamoru as a 17-18-year-old college student, and Usagi becomes 15 early on in the series timeline. He is shown to be extremely intelligent, so being a 17 year old in college is absolutely plausible. An important point to address, he is shown driving a car when the minimum driving age in Japan is 18. However, Haruka is 16 and drives a car and even a helicopter. I’m not losing any sleep over the fact that Mamoru could be driving a car before he is 18.

People argue that if Mamoru were precisely the same age as Usagi, the "problems" would be "fixed." But like I stated earlier, Mamoru behaves more mature because he was forced to be independent and self-sufficient from a very early point in his life. Even at 14, Mamoru would appear and behave much more mature than Usagi does. He is still obviously immature in how he deals with his crush on Usagi. When Takeuchi wrote the story about Serenity and Endymion, she was basing herself on medieval romance stories where the lovers are many years apart in age. Hence, the age gap was intentional in that aspect. Again, as I stated previously, 2-3 years of age difference is hardly noteworthy, especially as the series goes on, and they mature together.

Here is an excellent post that further discusses and debunks the age gap legality rumors: https://tiny012.tumblr.com/post/184025521241/in-the-defense-of-mamoru-chiba-because-bitch-im

Final thoughts and conclusions about Usagi and Mamoru's relationship and Tuxedo Mask

In the end, Usagi and Mamoru mature and grow together; they are each other’s rock. Mamoru becomes a more laid back person around Usagi, like when he takes her to see the cats at the abandoned house to cheer her up in Ep. 91. Usagi asks him, “but are we allowed to go in there?” and he responds, “I don’t know! Who cares!” and hands her a little kitten. I love Diana’s comment in Ep. 146 about how both Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion fake being sick together to get out of meetings and commitments.

Mamoru loves Usagi for who she is; in some ways, she is everything he's not, and he loves her for that - they complete each other; he keeps her grounded while she lifts him up into craziness. And he adores it. Mamoru has told Usagi: "Never apologize for being yourself.”, "Your strong will is what I love about you most.” and “Just being with you makes my life complete.” When Fish’s Eye questioned Mamoru on why he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but Usagi, he responds, "She’s full of dreams. That’s why.” In Stars, as Chibiusa is fading from existence due to Nehellenia’s curse on Mamoru, she pleads that he remembers that both him and Usagi have always shared the same dreams. Mamoru and Usagi are pretty different, sure, but in reality, they have the same visions for the future; they share the same values, and they have the same dreams. They complement each other beautifully, and that is why their love is as strong as it is. Usagi may be a bit clumsy and a crybaby, but in Mamoru's eyes, she's perfect.

People also bring up Mamoru's avoidance of public displays of affection with Usagi as evidence that "he doesn't really love her." In Japan, public displays of affection are seen as rude and inappropriate. When Mamo is alone with Usako, they share countless cute moments. Kisses, hugs, affection.. they love each other. Let's not forget when Mamoru gave Usagi a promise ring at the airport and kissed her like they were the only two people on Earth. His last words were "Usako." He has taken countless blows and stabs in Usagi's place, and she has for him too.

We saw them fall in love over and over, as Serenity and Endymion, and as Bunhead and Jerkface. Even when brainwashed initially in Season 1, Mamoru couldn’t bring himself to hurt her and kept unconsciously helping her succeed. You can brainwash him, kill him, erase his memory, separate him from her, but there is nothing you can do to make Mamoru’s love for Usagi fade. In the words of Toru Furuya, the voice of Mamoru: "He loves Sailor Moon and Tsukino Usagi with his whole heart. I think he’s a very great person."

Finally, Tuxedo Mask gives Sailor Moon strength; he supports her to become the best superhero he knows she can be. He does his best to help the Senshi in battle, but it’s a story about girls protecting the world. Takeuchi wrote this character to fit that narrative; he is one of the characters she holds dearest in her heart. Few people can really understand the beauty of Usako and Mamo together and how Sailor Moon is breaking the stereotypes of gender roles. If you can’t understand that, it’s your loss.

Tuxedo Mask is the hero Tuxedo Mask haters deserve, but not the one they need right now, so they’ll hunt him. Because he can take it, because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Moonlight Knight.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[thatmiddle]

Top 10 Albums that Shaped my Existence

How do I put this lightly, I believe listening to music matters as much as breathing. I know that is hyperbolic, but I don’t care. It can fuel your soul in a similar way that air fuels your body to move. It brings to life moments, places, and people. That’s probably why if you listen closely music is everywhere. It’s in the steel drums at Union subway station or the clarinet player at Yonge and Dundas Square. It’s is found from a broken guitar with unclipped strings in Kensington Market to a radio blasting out of an open window. It’s heard from the lake on a cool breezy summer night. It’s made by the leaves in the trees and the creatures roaming its branches. Music is inescapable.

Music is also a lot cheaper than therapy and for most, it is incredibly accessible. In saying that I do not mean to conflate therapy to music, but I do think there is a healing power to songs. This form of artistic expression has been with me during my brightest minutes and my darkest hours. I have relied on it like Aladdin did his magic carpet; it lift me up and took me to places I never thought I’d ever go. All I have to do was turn it on, tune in and drop out, as some would say.

During this pandemic I have leaned heavily into music, it is the perfect socially distanced escape. During this time that I have also gone back to old albums and reflected on how they influenced me and shape who I am today.

In Rainbows - Radiohead

If I had owned this album in an analogue form I would have destroyed it by overplaying it in my Discman. Radiohead is a wonderful band that have made wonderful albums but for some reason, this is the particular one I return to. To me, In Rainbows is the music I heard when I realized that I wanted to take my life in a different more creative direction than that of my peers. In Rainbows is the album I heard on carpool rides to Shakespeare Camp as a young girl. In Rainbows is what played in my head the first time I walked into Kensington Market as a young naive suburban girl. The music is so diverse with its sound but creates a distinctly modern tone. I find the music runs like a stream and cascades into fountains of sound I never expected. All the songs are beautiful but my favourite from the album has always been House of Cards.

Brothers - The Black Keys

If In Rainbows was an early marker of my youth, Brothers by The Black Keys established my teenage self and heavily moulded how I carried myself into my early twenties. With the raunchy guitar, hard drums and vocals somewhere between garage rock and blues, this album stimulated every part of my life. It is one of those albums that upon listening to the first fifteen seconds of the opening track Everlasting Light, I am immediately taken back to driving around in Toronto suburbs and getting into trouble. This album started my ongoing obsession with The Black Keys. Fun fact I named my first Tumblr blog off of a misreading a song lyric in the track The Only One, which also happens to be one of my favourite tracks on the album. I’ve tried to see The Black Keys live twice and both times I was unable to attend the concert. One day I will see them.

Revolver - The Beatles

There are a lot of Beatles albums I love and I wouldn’t say this is my favourite of theirs, but it is I would argue its one of their more underrated albums. From what I have gathered about Beatles fans (having been one since I was six years old), this choice isn’t mutually exclusive. It does however seem that established fans love either Rubber Soul or Revolver. For me, I choose the latter. This album is very experimental for the band as they were still coming out of their admired boy band era. I came to this album as a young girl whenever I played with my toys in the living room of my childhood home. I always heard a Beatles album playing in the background and when Revolver came on I was elated. My toys went on new adventures, met new people and told new stories. The Beatles have always brought out the creativity in me and I’m very grateful for that. Check out the song I’m Only Sleeping, it’s so meditative and my most replayed track.

Man on the Moon: The End of Day - Kid Cudi

I wasn’t in a good place when I was fortunate enough to be introduced to this album as being a teenager can be an incredibly difficult experience. Yet upon hearing this album I was pleasantly surprised, I never expected to find that catharsis in a young American rapper named Kid Cudi. I always liked some rap and hip-hip songs (don’t ever get me started on the importance of Sean Paul), but foolishly enough I never gave a full album or artist the chance. Man on the Moon found me at the right moment. This album’s production is so complex and crosses genres in ways I never expected; it leaves me wanting more every time. Kid Cudi hip-hop is different, Kid Cudi hip-hop goes deep and feels it. While Day ‘N’ Nite is one of the most recognizable songs on the album don’t sleep on Heart of a Lion, it’s beautiful.

For Emma, Forever Ago - Bon Iver

Like many teens in the mid-2000s, I made a Tumblr account. It was a great place filled with hormone-induced rage posts, images of skinny girls ripped from the website We Heart It, and boundless creativity. As a previous webpage creator hailing from the Geocities days, site creation was not new to me. I took up a URL and got to work. During this time I leaned deeper into the ‘indie girl’ aesthetic, which is where I found Bon Iver. Bon Iver’s music is soft and melodic and his guitar strums could whisk you away on a cloud. For Emma, Forever Ago was the soundtrack to the version of me who longed for combat boots, a-line skirts from American Apparel, and a cute hipster boyfriend to take me away from all my problems. I never got everything I wanted, but I was always able to sit in deep thought and listen to this album and for that, I’m incredibly grateful. The Wolves (Act I and II) is one of my favourite tracks off the album, I love the crescendo towards the end of the song it makes me want to release any bad feelings I have through some strong movement.

Is this it - The Strokes

I don’t remember when I first heard this album, I just know it was an unofficial anthem to my early twenties. Was it playing at that frat party? Or maybe it was at the live show in that bar one time. Is This It is the perfect album for starting out in a new place with dreams and about $20 to your name. This album is made for people entering young adulthood making mistakes and living for the moment. Garage rock is such an underrated genre, but perhaps that’s the suburban girl in me speaking. I want to dance every time I hear a track of this perfectly crafted experience. I hear those guitar riffs and I am taken back to running through Toronto at midnight with friends. Is This It is unapologetic and an outstanding debut album for The Strokes and cemented their status as indie rock legends, I don’t care what anyone says. There are a lot of amazing songs to recommend but I will try and spice things up. Last Nite and the title track Is This It are obvious choices but the bop you need to listen to is Someday.

Wish you were here - Pink Floyd

Everyone has to listen to Pink Floyd in university otherwise they never went…right? Pink Floyd always felt like a right of passage that I would eventually reach although I did cheat and wear a Dark Side of The Moon cropped t-shirt I got from HMV in high school just to seem cool. It wasn’t until first-year university I fell in love with the song Wish You Were Here. I’m sure I was just feeling nostalgic after moving out of my suburban bubble and into the big city for the first time. Nevertheless, after annoying my new roommates by listening to that song on repeat in my bedroom I decided to give the rest of the album a shot and immediately fell in l love. It is a short ride but an emotional journey. I thought I had felt everything I needed to feel at 21, then I heard Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Pts 1-5). If you were living under a rock and haven’t heard this album I recommend it. And do check out that track.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar

Swimming Pools was everywhere in 2012, it was synonymous with the nightlife which was surprising given its lyrics. Good kid MAAD city takes the ideas explored in Swimming Pools and expands them into a full universe. As soon as I turned on the first song I felt like I had been lifted from my cold Canadian home and into the chaotic Compton of Kendrick Lamar’s universe. This concept album has such depth I feel I learnt more than I would have ever expected. I love the way the album weaves recorded scenes with various characters and the music, it creates such a vivid picture as you listen through the whole piece. I felt deep sympathy towards the struggles told on the record in ways I never thought I would. Good kid m.A.A.d city is a great ride from start to finish without ever skipping a single track, but if you had to speed up to a gem I highly recommend the track Money Trees.

channel Orange - Frank Ocean

I was originally introduced to Frank Ocean through his work with Odd Future or as I proudly scribbled everywhere, OFWGKTA. Frank Ocean was always the quiet R&B guy from the group that I never thought I would have known much about but early 2013 rolled around all that changed. An old friend of mine had pointed me in the direction of new work by the musician and I ran towards the sound immediately. Frank’s voice is mesmerizing and he mixes sounds in ways I would never expect. His lyrics are dark and deep. This album got me through a lot of mixed emotions I started to experience as I worked my way through my undergrad. Frank understood what it meant to feel and I connected deeply with that. Pink Matter was the soundtrack to my life, I listened to it on repeat doing just about every task I could imagine.

House of Balloons - The Weeknd

I remember Toronto the year that The Weeknd released his first mixtapes. He was just an enigma floating through the city, no one could pin him down. I am one hundred percent one of the people who got their hands on the YouTube videos early and saved them immediately to my accounts. I wanted more and I didn’t know why. He captured a sound that still exists here today, it was dark and full of mystery. As soon as I got my hands on the first mixtape I popped that baby into my iPod and played it so much practically the full album made it to my ‘Top 25 Playlist’ on the device. I am obsessed with The Weeknd’s voice and as someone from Etobicoke, I am even more obsessed with the fact that he’s from Scarborough. He sounds like home to me and I will never be able to let that go. When I play this album (which is at least once every year I’ll have you know), I feel sure about who I am and where I come from. It’s not an explicit attitude to being from Toronto, but rather a feeling that you can carry throughout everything you do. The Weeknd carries that on a world stage and I am proud to say he is a Toronto native. Every song on the album is amazing and I say listen to them all, but do make sure you pay special attention to Loft Music. Nothing spells nightlife in Toronto more than at least one party in a condo or loft by Lake Ontario. I was actually asked to go to a late-night loft party by a random man at a Chinese restaurant one time so I can vouch for this happening in the city. Clearly, Abel knew what he was talking about.

Music is one of the most important things in my life. It is like a fuel I use to keep my motor moving. I find it anywhere and everywhere. I rely on it so much it has been the godsend I didn’t realize I needed during a pandemic. I think I am starting to understand why movies from the 1930s were so much about escapism; drifting off into another world during a difficult time can feel like magic.

What are 10 albums that shaped who you are? Let me know in the comments.