#die the second they picked me up
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
JET LAG THE GAME | Benjamin 'cardinal directions and vibes' Doyle (1 / ?)
#jet lag the game#jltg#ben doyle#myedits#if you don't love ben then truly madly deeply i do not understand you#i want to pick him up and put him in my pocket#narrowing down my favourite ben moments to six for this thing?#the literal horrors#hence the 1/?#this will continue#i'm not even going to pretend to be remotely sorry#these idiots have taken over my brain#this one in particular#ride-or-die teamben#but then also team badam#but then also my discord is corrupting me with other combinations 🤨#fyi for anyone annoyed that my gifs are so long because apparently people get annoyed about things like that#because people are stupid#my very autistic visually sensitive brain finds it so FUCKING uncomfortable to watch 3 second gifs#i like them longer - so - you know - if you do too then cool and you're welcome! and if you don't then ... eh
282 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hiii! Not sure if you've gotten this question already, so feel free to ignore this if you have, but what do you think Combo Breaker's reaction to Candybug would've been if he saw him like that? (I like Breaker a lot and was so curious about what kind of thoughts he'd have about that abomination because I legit had NO idea how he'd react, so figured I'd ask the source lol)
LOL, glad to hear that you like him ^_^! I did think about like, if he arrived a little earlier... provided that a cybug wouldn't, like, carry him away before he saw KC.
He would think KC looks very cool and say strange things like "woah what's those weird tubes you got?" and "Can I stick my fingers in the space between your joints or is that weird?"
#wreck it ralph oc#wir oc#wreck it ralph#wir#combo breaker#my ocs#beebfreeb art tag#I cannot think of much interactions between them like this because like#KC dies badly really soon after so I am just like#If he saw Breaker he'd go okay hold on a second I hauve to go kill someone first give me a second#and he'd pick Breaker up and put him somewhere where bugs won't eat him#and then he'd try to kill that guy and die badly#king candy
220 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve grown to appreciate the aus where Shen Yuan enters the story as “Shen Yuan” - same name, probably similar face, generally able to interact with PIDW as himself and change the story through his added presence. I like the sense of “if only you’d been here, things might have been better the first time around” of it all.
And I was thinking, it’s a funny coincidence in that scenario that someone named Shen Yuan gets put into… another Shen Yuan. What are the chances? What a weird twist of fate that Airplane would pick out the name that his most dedicated critic could slip into seamlessly.
What about a version where it’s not coincidence at all?
Airplane goes to school with a kid named Shen Yuan. He’s prickly and hard to approach and a little intense, but Airplane is persistent. In fairness, Airplane is relentless - and maybe it’s a good thing that they end up being friends, because they’re a little too much for anyone else to handle. They balance each other out. They’re the “weird kids” in class and they’re okay with that, because even when they don’t have any words for it, they know they’re not like their classmates, not really. That’s okay; they don’t want to be.
Recesses and breaks are consumed with the elaborate stories that Airplane wants to tell, and all the holes Shen Yuan pokes into them. It’s not mean-spirited, though, even though Shen Yuan isn’t the kind to temper his words. It’s passionate. He cares about those stories the way Airplane cares about them, and it can’t be mistaken for anything else when they lean together conspiratorially across the lunchroom table. They’ve both got notebooks filled with details and characters and monsters. Shen Yuan’s practically got a whole bestiary sketched out in wobbly childhood attempts at art, entries fervently scrawled beside them. Airplane prattles out plots nonstop, always with the promise of shining eyes and being asked “what happens next?”
They come up with a whole world together. Airplane’s going to write about it someday. Shen Yuan is going to read every word.
Shen Yuan misses school. Shen Yuan starts missing school a lot.
Airplane goes to the hospital room instead. He doesn’t think to worry, because Shen Yuan is okay - that’s what he says. He looks okay, and he’s a kid, and it doesn’t feel real that anything bad should happen to a kid. He doesn’t think to worry. He doesn’t think to say goodbye.
It’s one of the older Shen brothers who catches him on the way up to the room one day, in the hallway just outside - snaps at him to go the fuck home, and when Airplane hesitates, pushes him into the elevator and tells him not to come back. “Tells” is a generous way to describe the way the words come out - a growl, a hiss, the sound an animal would make when a hand got too close to a wound.
(It’s not fair to name a villain after him, even if the name never really comes up in the story. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He’d lost a brother minutes before, and he was getting his brother’s friend out of the way so he didn’t have to… see. It isn’t fair, but then, none of it is fair.)
Death feels very real after that.
The notebooks get shoved into a closet, and it’s not until Airplane’s moving out and one falls on him from a high shelf that he thinks about it again. He’s written things, lots of things, but nothing as ambitious as this - nothing as important. It could be good, he considers. He’d promised. Shen Yuan wanted to read it.
The problem was that no one else does, not for a long time, not until Airplane has whittled himself and his art into a corner and into such an unfamiliar shape that he has to wonder how it’s still his own face he sees in the mirror. He has to eat. He has to pay rent. Shen Yuan would yell at him, but Shen Yuan isn’t there to yell at him, and who cares. Who cares if it could have been better? The people who actually are here love it, and it’s paying his bills, and sometimes stories don’t go the way they’re supposed to and the world is fucking unfair. It doesn’t matter.
(It does. But he shoves that thought away along with styrofoam cups and soda bottles to the bottom of a garbage bag.)
Authors are not gods and their power is limited, but Airplane exercises just a sliver of what he’s been granted and gifts an inconsequential sort of immortality. He thinks about making him a rogue cultivator, maybe the kind that goes around documenting beasts and compiling his findings. He thinks about making him someone too powerful for death to touch, or too important to threaten, but when Airplane looks at the world he crafted and everything that’s become of it, it feels like the kindest thing he can do for Shen Yuan is a childhood where he’s loved, and a death that’s peaceful. What does it say about that world, that he’d kill off his best friend too early again instead of making him live there?
(The best writing he ever does is the only, shining moment of humanity that his scum villain ever displays: a lament about death that comes too early, about a brother gone too soon. The commenters praise him. The commenters flatter over how real the emotions feel. The commenters don’t get any response from Airplane on that chapter.)
Death is incredibly real when it comes for him too early, too, still hovering over his keyboard with the story technically finished and incredibly incomplete. Airplane could tell himself that’s because the written version can never be the version in the writer’s head, always shifting and with every possibility still on the table, but he knows better than that. The System knows better than that, with its condescending message about “improving” his writing and “closing plot holes” and “achieving his original vision”...
…and he’s a child again. He’s a child in his own story, he’s Shang Qinghua now without the benefit yet of a peak or cultivation or anything, and maybe he’s a little bitter, and a little scared, and…
And Shen Yuan - with longer hair, with robes, with a couple of older kids watching him from across the street, but undeniably the prickly little boy who used to sit down imperiously across from him and tell him everything that was wrong with the chuck of writing that had been handed to him last period, but with that smile that said he was only invested because he knew it could be better and they were going to make it better - marches up to him with a fire in his eyes and a frown that warns of a coming tirade.
“You told it wrong,” is the first thing he says.
Shang Qinghua wants to ask how him how he’s here, how this is possible, or maybe laugh because, yeah - yeah, Shen Yuan has no goddamn idea how wrong he got absolutely everything.
(Shang Qinghua wants to say “I missed you” and “why did you leave so soon” but he’s here now. He’s right here.)
“I know,” he says instead. “I’m sorry. It all kind of… spiraled out of control.”
Shen Yuan frowns, but then it dissipates the way it always does, and his eyes shine with ideas the way they always used to. “That’s okay,” he relents, grabbing for his hand. “We’ll fix it. We’ll make it what it was supposed to be.”
#scum villain self saving system#svsss#shang qinghua#shen yuan#airplane shooting towards the sky#this got more into the feelings than i thought it would#surprising no one#anyway just! childhood friends au! as a reason for a shen yuan insert!#obviously he is not going to die as a child in this version#shang qinghua would not have that nope not again#also pls consider poor shen jiu who looks at this child that shen yuan has picked out for a best friend like '...really? that one??'#(it's up to you if he's shen yuan's actual brother from his first life)#(put there's a part of me that likes the idea that shen jiu also gets a second chance to spend more time with his brother)#a second chance for them to grow up together!#THAT SAID#RIP TO SHANG QINGHUA#WHEN SHEN YUAN IS OLD ENOUGH TO LEARN ABOUT ALL THE PAPAPA#the LOOKS shang qinghua is going to get#anyway here have a thing because I CANNOT add another au to my drafts thank you and goodbyyyyye
943 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just finished watching the Death Note anime for the first time after reading the manga a decade prior and. How did no one tell me. How did no one tell me that in the anime the last thing Light sees. Is L
#death note#yagami light#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#like. in the manga he dies pitifully in the warehouse surrounded by everyone so that's what i was expecting#but in the anime he has this dramatic emotional sunset run where he metaphorically passes his past self#making you wonder if he might have regretted picking up the death note--he's running away from where he had been going#and he stumbles into a water tower and collapses on the steps as the sun's last rays shine through the window#and he's just silently staring. nothing left to say. no lies left to tell. just looking at the world he's going to leave#and he sees L. standing in front of him‚ but with a beam covering most of his face. light can't look him in the eyes.#and that's when light's eyes finally close#like you mean to tell me that that fricking POETRY. that CINEMA. was just sitting there this whole time and i never knew??????#also light is DEFINITELY cooked. 'you're so inferior to L' 'L would have realized' 'i'm still fighting L' we knew he was cooked but THIS#he's the last guy you see before you die??? the guy YOU KILLED??? AND WHOM YOU SEEM TO REGRET KILLING AND CAN'T GET OVER???#like. come ON. i'm losing my mind#kay has a party in the tags#kay can i just catch my breath for a second
140 notes
·
View notes
Text
But don't worry. By then, he wants to.
(@romanromulus :D )
#saw movies#mark hoffman#peter strahm#hoffstrahm#midnight draws#sdate#op found the first art piece so i was obligated to finally properly draw the second!#i dunno if i can pick a fav between these fics honestly. the time loop is a comfort fic and i dunno if i can ever read this one again#the ugly sobs it got out of me....but so so good#disturbing highlights include:#strahm's thoughts on being quiet when hoffman gets home shifting over the story from ironic to unironic. incredibly cool and fucked up#uhhhh all the dad stuff. WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME.......#everything about the ending. HOFFMAN WAS IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT!!! HE WAS TRAPPED. HE WOULD HAVE COME BACKKK#i didnt wanna die...i didnt wanna die either....the final dream.......#death of the self vs death of the body....which is worse....#anyway yeah this fic. god#one day i will leave proper comments too!!! for now: normal art. anyway please read into this
178 notes
·
View notes
Text
nothing sexier than a skilled, effortlessly lethal man
#ffxvi#barnabas tharmr#POSTING IT HERE TOO BC !!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS SHAKING REWATCHING THIS UNTIL IT WAS OVER#THE FACT THAT CLIVE WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD SECONDS IN????? IF BARNABAS HAD BEEN FIGHTING HIM SERIOUSLY???? WIHT ONE HAND ?????#SWORDSMEN I LOVE U SO#WALOEDER SWORDSMEN I LOVE U EVEN MORE#benedikta girl u were so real i would have also fucked both him and cid if given the chance#his little fucking chuckles and smirks during...........sir i am on my knees#the one specifically where he realizes that clive is protecting jill and joshua......and then immediately picks up a RANDOM SWORD#AND TUCKS HIS ARM BEHIND HIS BACK#ok its slepnir's sword so not completely random bUT ITS NOT ODINS#i would die for u i would end it all right here and now jsut say the word#i am NOT !!!!!!!! DOING WEL L!!!#I NEED HIM#his fucking thigh garters???????? the expensive ass shirt ????????///#WHO GOES INTO BATTLE LIKE THAT BARNABAS#GODDDDDDDDDDDD#I NEED HIM TO STEP ON ME RIGHT TF NOW#IS HE A LITTLE INSANE ????? YEAH BUT THATS FINE I CANT FIX HIM BUT I CAN FUCK HIM#i woul d die for him i would so fast#my king wants me to become an akashic??? say less !!! goodbye free will !!!!!!!!!!!!#barnabas tharmr my favorite cult leader <3#ok im done i htink#GRRRRRRRRRRRR BARK BARK BARK GRRRRR BAR K BARK#ok now im done
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
Erin, to her crush: You're a dick
Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -
#my characters#its so sad that all of erins character development and kindness is on paper and nothing digital to show her growth#she picks on mason for many reasons and she kinda narrows her eyes at him but its more to squint than to glare#because she watches him from a distance when hes off laughing with others#though they are united on peter being worse than mason at least they can agree no matter what peter is worse#but also masons right arm is metal and she thinks its fascinating bc theres so many high tech prosthetics#why is he using the equivalent of a trash can ? is it some weird flex to not needing advanced stuff?#and its just he was from a poor family and was born with one full arm and then a stump#and he lived a lot of his youth with just one arm so once he got a second arm (installed basically) he went cheap#since he only wanted the other arm to get better jobs cause not many people would hire him with one arm#and he never really cared much about her comments because her lil verbal pokes of#so rogers whod you piss off? the mafia? is actually nicer than stuff he heard as a kid without the fake arm#so he tells her the only reason he has a metal limb is because god knew hed be two strong if born with two arms#and shes like uh huh sure thing rogers#and yeeeeah eventually something happens where mason is injured and erin is panicking#and hes acting like its okay to die because hes a dick remember TRYING to make light of it and she gets so sad#and after hes recovering and better he feels guilty making her so sad and hes talking to her#and she says that she doesnt have a lot of friends and she didnt want to lose one of the few people she liked#and hes just oh.......................... ididntthinkthatwouldbeme#so he starts to be super friendly to her and enforcing the crush that she doesnt wanna own up to#and then she does eventually confess and mason is baffled as to since when and shes like day one? and he just#erin you have got to be kidding me you were glaring at me for months#and shes just i have bad eye sight and im shy what did you expect#he isnt super smart or super stupid hes just exceedingly average
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m still thinking about that “you promised” “I know” post
#lost in the SAUCE#it got me thinking about a gpose idea#thinking about the. the stay safe everyone. and come back#line from EW. and krile’s you must triumph#like. painting a picture for a second of like#eyrie in the elpis field with the meteia hiding their eyes at they turn to face the camera#but they are smiling and there’s just the text of you promised. I know#cringe is dead I think they both have nightmares about ultima thule#eyrie has them a lot it’s like. pick a moment#the twins are the nightmare they have the most. losing them for good#but losing Estinien is a nightmare that comes close behind#it’s a resurgent nightmare of losing someone you love#but Estinien has nightmares of finding eyrie in the elpis field#beyond the fuck it we ball of canon#I think it’s like. a case of eyrie didn’t show up at the ship so everyone went out to explore again#and the teleporter did work after a fashion#it just being created by the mix of eyrie and zenos’s wishes took them to the elpis field#Zenos’s desire for eyrie to live + their own desire to have a nice place to die#meant they ended up in the field#it just ended up being that the scions found their body w a few of the meteia around them#i think about UT a lot Shdjdjd#endwalker spoilers#owen talks
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
been thinking a lot about when yusei casually dropped the insane lore that jiwoon, hanseo, and him used to go to the same dance academy years ago
#the way he laughed it off saying ‘you guys like stuff like this?’ WELL YEAH BUT YOU CANT JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT TELL ME MORE??????#its been eating me up bc jiwoon and hanseo were both my second picks on their respective shows so this was so huge to me#like.#do they still remember each other???#that would fix me#if they do i need a reunion immediately#i feel so crazy everytime i bring this up bc literally no one else gives a fuck#im just slowly falling apart on this one man hill and yknow what IM WILLING TO DIE ON IT!!!!!!#yusei pls get them in the same room again IM BEGGING#like i need a trio tiktok or something so bad its so important to me#dabae speaks#project 7#universe league#hanseo#jiwoon#yusei
1 note
·
View note
Text
having a lot of allie X and similar in my hoard of songs that inevitably end up going in my playlists for abusive ship dynamics is wild, because then you get haunting high-voiced trauma pop but it's just like, scranky scooby doo villains. anyway pericky blast
youtube
youtube
youtube
youtube
youtube
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#ricky owens#professor pericles#pericky#abuse cw#this is by no means a complete list of this particular vibe for them let alone pericky in general#i just picked out a few to throw out there#debated adding dahmer and the limbs because it is both pericles and pericky specifically to a tee#but also. uh. mmm. mixed feelings about that one lmao#flowers of flesh and blood (be warned if you look it up that it is Extremely Gory as well as the abuse/SA imagery) is a weird one#because it's basically 'what happened to ricky; except it's how pericles would react to going through that'#which is the extreme opposite of ricky's reaction to it; as you can maybe guess by the aforementioned warnings lmao#anyway i'll have to put together an Actual Playlist to post at some point but for now have this#originally i just meant to put three but then i remembered that second to last one and 💔💔💔💔#and then i needed one more to round it out so hush felt appropriate despite being less Haunting than the others. have some anime girl edge#when the 'and i'll undress if you need it/but please don't need it' hits#me in a puddle of tears on the floor: oh okay#SDMItag#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby makes playlists#playlists#dyn: when i die i want you to die too#SA implied cw
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
The fic I've been waiting for 3 weeks to update is getting a new chapter this Friday and I just learned the chapter is gonna be titled 'trauma'..........

#YALL LAST CHAPTER WAS TITLED 'KILL ME' AND IT WAS INTENSE AS HELL IM ABOUT TO DIE#they said theres 3 updates that were going to just get bad and bad and were on the second on of these 3....#mom can you pick me up i'm scared#the sneak peek i read of it too jesus christ
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
“I’m sorry, but I fell in love tonight. I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight. You’re looking like you fell in love tonight. Can we pretend we’re in love?”
Is There Somewhere; Halsey
#I mostly view this song as falling in love with someone you shouldn’t have#or pretending that you’re the one someone is really in love with even though they aren’t really in love with you#I think I would die if I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have - falling in love with someone I didn’t mean to fall in love with#I’m a sensitive person when it comes to love and that would probably only break and shatter me completely#because when I fall in love I fall really fucking hard that sometimes not even the stars can pick me up nor save me#I can only view this song as being in love while also being heartbroken at the same time#in the song when she sings that part - which she repeats twice towards the end of the song - has a different melody in those two times#that she sings. The first part (being at 2min and 30sec) seems to the climax and more serious in a way.#the second half of that part (3 min mark) the melody has calmed down and so does her voice .. that part is more emotional than how#she sung it before. it really is fascinating in how she sung the song and it’s really beautiful#this song gives me so much more feeling than I can explain so I’m gonna have to leave it at this for now#alex talks#alex’s diary
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
although I never actually register them as nightmares lol

#once i woke up and immediately had sleep paralysis after messaging a friend im not close to anymore and realizing that it was a huge mistake#and the second i woke up i was like “ah. this is sleep paralysis. i hear that sleep paralysis is scary and you see things. closing my eyes.”#also#recently registered that a dream i had where it was perpetually sunset and there was a massive fucking eye that took up a third of the sky#the world was ending and you had to escape the notice of the eye or else youd just die#also there were no walls so nowhere to hide#thas also a nightmare 👍#also a dream where i had to run away from these smiling people that would turn me into a smiler if they touched me. that a nightmare babey.#also had a dream once where there was this humanoid emancipated guy with a lamprey mouth for a face#and if it got its hands on you itd suck your soul out through its mouth#anyways. it got its hands on me#and then i just fucken picked it up by its legs and started whaling at it#slamming it on the floor like hulk did loki#that dream ended when someone asked for my name
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#tag talk#a friend said something about musk colonizing the planets and I sat down and just.. walked through it with him. it took while but he got it#reminder that some people can have their minds changed. some people can be taught. you can make a difference sometimes.#and yeah. some people can't. neither me nor my brother have been able to get through to my dad. I've given up on that.#but I can make a difference in my immediate friend group. I can teach the people around me.#when I first met my ex he described himself as right wing even though he's got several trans friends and is bi and dated me. a queer.#now he's way more centrist which isn't ideal. but is pretty good.#we've discussed everything from mental health advocacy to treatment of homeless people. he's still iffy about immigration#but he's made a lot of progress. he's come up against a lot of his biases that don't line up with his actual beliefs.#and idk. our relationship is special to me because he's genuinely a cool guy#but also because I've helped him become more critical and evaluating of things he's grown up believing his entire life#and that gives me some joy in knowing that even in a very small way I've made the world around me a better place#there's a lot of shit happening and it's not your responsibility to fix all of it.#but you can pick something small and work at it.#it's like that adhd advice. you can half ass anything. even if you can't complete a whole task you can complete part of it#and even doing something small is better than doing nothing.#one of my friends is a lawyer with impressive energy and resilience. she will make a bigger tangible difference than I probably ever will.#but I will continue to do what I can in small ways towards the people around me.#because I refuse to grow static. I refuse to become impotent.#I have failed to die six times and I'm not interested in trying a seventh time. I am going to live and grow and change and flourish#and part of being a living being is engaging with the ecosystem around you.#so I will do my best to positively impact the world around me in whatever ways I feasibly can#I do often feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm not donating enough. I'm not calling enough. not emailing enough.#but I can take pride in the things I Can do. the people I can help. the lessons I can teach. the example I can set.#my lawyer friend is exhausting to be around. she thinks everyone should be as informed and involved as she is.#I have had to set deliberate boundaries between us because she drains my energy in 0.5 seconds if I'm not careful#I cannot do nearly as much as she does. I simply do not have the capacity for it. but I can do something.#and that something will have to be enough for me.
0 notes