#everything about the ending. HOFFMAN WAS IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT!!! HE WAS TRAPPED. HE WOULD HAVE COME BACKKK

[midnightdemonhunter]

But don't worry. By then, he wants to.

(@romanromulus :D )

[imadethisatage11]

Live-blogging my reaction to Spiral: from the book of saw

Spoilers under the cut

TL;DR: my overall review is that it was good but I’m going to go watch DPS to cleanse me

- ok so that woman got robbed and for what

- I had to pause to find out who this detective’s actor was Bc it was driving me nuts and it’s MCMURRAY FROM LETTERKENNY???

- love that they’re gonna fuck up this train conductors day lmao

- LOVE genuinely that we’re back to looking gritty and having an old tv play the video and having some rapid cut camera work early 2000’s vibes I embrace you

- why does the voice sound like that,, I wasn’t expecting John but why is it so non threatening now it’s literally just Some Guy™️

- I am glad I paid $15 to listen to Chris Rock talk about Forrest Gump. Worth my money and I mean it genuinely I love Chris Rock he’s great. Stream Everybody Hates Chris on Hulu

- “Z?” Zeke who just had his cover blown: this MF

- “do I look like a fucking Jamaican nanny?!” I- 😀🤚🏽

- ayo Max Minghella

- Chris Rock falling just short of being convincingly aggressively cynical Bc he is Chris Rock with the voice of Chris Rock

- it sounds like he’s setting up jokes that don’t have punchlines and instead they’re just like,, mediocre cynic cop dialogue

- while looking at some pretty fucking intact teeth: this bum is gonna be pretty hard to ID

- I mean I guess the homeless don’t have dental records but were you not even gonna try?

- I’m very pleased Chris Rock put on gloves before handling the strange package I love actually smart character choices that would make sense for them to make

- I.e. the cop knows how to properly handle unexpected unmarked packages delivered to the precinct

- “I thought the jigsaw killer was dead” “well if it’s another copy cat…” another wait is that referring to Logan (which Logan pinned on the other coincidentally crooked cop whose name I’ve forgotten) does that imply Logan only did like? The one trap? And hasn’t been active? Just waited ten years after John died recreates the one trap he was in and then stops?? I mean don’t get me wrong if movie wants to ignore Jigsaw (2017)’s existence I’m game but like what

- also why do the packages look like they’re wrapped in Tiffany boxes lmao

- oh yay they did run dental

- Chris Rock is an asshole but they should go with protocol if that’s what they’re doing

- ordering a man mid piss out of the men’s room to yell at Zeke

- does conflict of interest matter when the whole precinct knows the victim?

- uncomfortable stand-offs with your ex while at the home of a grieving friend

- Samuel L Jackson!

- “I could’ve killed you!” “What are you talking about, I have the gun!” *SLJ pulls a gun out* “I could’ve killed you”

- daddy issues

- “you think this is linked to John Kramer?” Bruh you think it’s NOT??

- ik this is SO far fetched but I rlly hope this movie tells us wtf happened to Dr Gordon. I’m sure it won’t but a girl can dream

- “should we tell Zeke?” “Fuck him” I get you guys don’t like to work w him Bc he’s an ass but like. You’re just not doing your jobs now you’re just proving he’s right that you’re untrustworthy

- splitting up and not telling ppl where you’re going is the number one way to get kidnapped or murdered but way to go cop instincts

- what is this Chinese finger trap ass shit

- love the blue tones tho very Saw

- all it needs is to become uncomfortably green

- fun fact I actually watched the first saw w my friend who is red green color blind and he said it looked AWFUL and I was like oh yeah everything is blue tinted like twilight blue tint and later it’s green just FYI (he thought that made significantly more sense than whatever shit ass color palette he was perceiving)

- being mad at your son for turning in a dirty cop Bc now you’ll have to mess with internal affairs

- and then assaulting someone??? SLJ is an even worse asshole lmao

- another Tiffany box bound in twine maybe it’ll be one of those cheesy diamond heart necklaces

- HELLO what is that ugly ass pig puppet

- also the voice is so stilted did the killer use fuckin text to speech so they couldn’t unscramble the voice like they did to Hoffman?

- cops finding dead pigs, a little on the nose

- oh so this dude has a history of “fuck it” ok well screw that guy then

- SLJ deserves to be pissed at that cop for letting Zeke get shot but like what an unhinged man he threatened to kill him and then actually assaulted him HOW did he EVER get in charge to begin with

- ok wait is Zeke actually the only decent cop (inc his dad but maybe excluding the newbie)

- that is a truly gruesome way to lose fingers tho I must say but he deserves that shit

- wait did the trap not go fast enough or was there a way for him to do that faster and I missed it

- like should he not have hesitated Bc there was a time limit or was it just rigged

- cuz the machine had to pull them off he couldn’t just cut them quickly

- so are they just gonna leave broken leg Dude there or

- also just now I tried to talk abt this movie (so far) vs Jigsaw (2017) to my mom and I got too excited and referenced some character names she didn’t know and she shut me down and said she didn’t care 😀

- live-blogging to my, like, five followers that compromise one one (1) person that knows me IRL, one (1) Sawtual, and a handful of ppl only here for my main DPS content to fill the void of emotional parental neglect. What a great website

- oh no did the rookie die :( he was actually sweet

- I feel like he was too important to kill offscreen tho

- like they’re TELLING us he .. was skinned.. but was he REALLY

- Chris Rock having a revelation: AH FUCK

- everyone else at the crime scene: ….

- favorite thing abt movies that were already gonna be rated R is when they’re like “well if we’re already at R we might as well say fuck”

- she has to SEVER HER SPINAL CORD? Why was she deemed the biggest asshole

- also how on earth was this trap portable it IS in their basement right

- transporting the hot wax is just what gets me

- Chris Rock rn: are you tired of being nice? Don’t you just wanna go apeshit?

- was this abt his dad the whole time???

- does it count as live blogging when I do one big post instead of several small ones lol I just want it to be avoidable for ppl who are just here for Dead Poets Society

- man’s fully abt to cut his arm off like barely even hesitated long enough to notice the bobby pin he could pick the lock with

- there’s a body here suspended

- not hanging mind you

- but covered and suspended

- and I bet it’s the newbie

- ah damn it’s Pete that’s disappointing

- it’s possible the trailers just made him seem more important than he was

- why are they punishing Zeke for reporting a dirty cop and having his career accordingly ruined like he did the right thing and already suffered for it? This killer doesn’t like crooked cops?? Why does Zeke have to be tortured by hearing this dude die like that’s what they want isn’t it?

- I think it’s too late pal

- the glass trap was pretty fucking cool though

- I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE

- I didn’t think he was a MURDERER but I KNEW he was alive

- OH SHIT THE DIRTY COP ZEKE TURNED IN KILLED NEWBIE’S DAD??

- I’m terrible at guessing endings but it makes viewing more fun

- honestly,, do it Chris Rock ACAB

- “you want me to kill cops?” “No, fuck no, just the bad ones”

- what a fun villain though

- I have no idea what the Ultimate Game Plan™️ is here though is he gonna make him kill his dad? I mean his dad does suck but making a dude KILL his DAD? That is a tall order Max Minghella

- ok but literally why wouldn’t you listen to him here shoot the target??

- ANGIE! It WaS aNgIe

- killing this man is not correct justice anyway Zeke

- shot the target! Good man

- groovy of them to play the Hello Zepp soundtrack rn

- oh shit what’s going on SLJ knows what it is

- oh.. w o w. Brutal way to go. Very heavy handed imagery

- and that’s all I guess who the fuck knows what’s up w Doctor Gordon

- and I guess Max Minghella is just gonna get away now but tbh Chris Rock only seemed truly mad at him for involving his dad

- nice rap remix to the OG Hello Zepp score very cool credits music

[silastheanon]

@professionallydeadinside Okay so I’m working on a lady D Lucas thing and here’s all of it so far, no Unpredictable today because anxiety has had me shut down practically all week, and even this amount of story was hard for me to write, but here’s the first little bit of it!

(It’s labelled in my docs as Lady D Lucas Gi Brr and it’s important to me that that fact is known)

Read it below!

Clancy was trapped in a barn.

Okay, an explanation is likely needed. It all started when he said yes to the job offer to be a cameraman for a small show called Sewer Gators, which investigated haunted houses and the likes. It was led and directed by two men, Andre Sticklan and Peter Walken, who were undeniably in a relationship, but tried very hard to hide it. Clancy never mentioned it.

Despite being straight, or so he believed, he could still understand why the two would be hesitant to say it.

One day, they had learned about a house in Dulvey, Louisiana. A family had lived in a house by a bayou for years, before they suddenly disappeared. So, as per the job description, the Sewer Gators went to investigate the Dulvey Haunted House.

Everything had started out fine, just typical creepy, abandoned house stuff. Then, everything wasn’t fine.

Clancy himself could barely comprehend what had happened, even after the fact. All he knew was that someone had been chasing them through what seemed to be some kind of nasty basement when a new person had emerged and called for the trio to follow them. It all went black for Clancy after that. Which, then, led to Clancy’s problem mentioned earlier.

Trapped in a barn.

There was a wall of televisions across from the chair he was shackled to. Flickering fluorescent lights were on the ceiling, though most of the barn was still swamped in shadow. It didn’t seem like Pete or Andre were in the barn, and Clancy didn’t know whether he should be happy and relieved for them, or if he should go ahead and begin mourning them. There were random pieces and scraps of metal and circuit boards strewn about on the floor. The place didn’t look or seem nice at all, yet there were still chrysanthemum’s growing between parts of the walls and up from the floor. Rats scurried around on the floor.

Clancy tugged on his restraints for a moment before a voice rang out, saying, “That’s quite a useless endeavor. They won’t break, certainly not from you.”

If Clancy hadn’t been tied up, he would’ve jumped five feet in the air.

One of the rats, a dumbo with black and white markings, ran toward the large doors at one end of the barn. The doors opened quickly, with little preamble, though the reveal of who stood in the doorway would take a bit longer.

A tall figure loomed for a second before it stooped down and let the rat crawl into their hand and up their arm.

“Seems my new little plaything has woken up, how nice. I’ll have to remember to reward Hoffman for getting you. I can hardly see you like this, but I know you won’t disappoint,” the stranger sauntered over to wear Clancy was trapped and tied up.

“Who the fuck are you? The hell am I doing here?” the stranger, still shrouded in shadow, laughed. They leaned forward so that the fluorescent lights could illuminate their face, and Clancy realised he was fucked in more ways than he has thought.

“You trespassed, and my darling friend Hoffman found you, and saved you from my father. You should count yourself lucky, really. Mother had wanted to convert you into becoming family, would’ve fed you the poison she calls food. I just want to play some games with you,” Clancy knew that he probably should’ve been pissing himself, but, in all honesty, he wasn’t paying much attention to what his captor was saying.

The stranger had steel blue eyes, and short blond hair. They were wearing a short sweater that fell off their shoulders, a jacket over that. They were tall, too. Very tall. They were talking, but that was quickly shut down with two words; “You’re hot.”

The stranger paused for a moment, eyes wide and mouth open.

“E…excuse me?”

“I’m sorry, I’ve got no idea if you’re cool with this, but you need to know you’re, like, super hot,” they made a noise that sounded like it had been punched out of them. They moved back until they were leaning against the wall of television’s, the barn seeming more lit than before, like a movie lightens up after a dramatic moment. The dumbo rat from earlier scampered out from under their jacket and down their arm. Clancy then noticed the fucking claws on his right hand.

Oh, he was fucked in the best god damn way possible.

“Do you have a name?” the stranger gave him a look, and Clancy couldn’t even get upset.

He had just been vocally thirsting after them, then he was trying to be a gentleman. Yeah, Clancy would be kind of pissed, too.

“Lucas. Would’ve guessed you’d have already figured that one out. You did your research, you and your little show friends,” that caused Clancy to tense in his seat.

Andre and Pete.

Where were they? What had happened to them? How in the world had he gotten so distracted so quickly?