#die mad about it 😘

[laineystein]

Finally back home. Finally I can breathe. This country is a step closer to (another) war and I will still always feel safest here.

🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱

[dontforgetoctober3rd]

The Stanley Cup evades Auston Matthews yet again and I know peace once more. Thank you, hockey gods, for doing this for me, personally.

[anxious-acushla]

The backlash about Noa Kirel’s performance from the anti-Israel crowd is predictable and tired. It’s a bop. She’s a queen. Get over yourselves.

[smores100]

[queenladonna]

I just read a bunch of delusional morons like, “Chrissy didn’t wanna be with Jason anymore because she stopped shaking her pom-poms energetically when he turned around”

Chrissy was going through shit. We all know this. “She laughed with Eddie!!” Yeah, because it’s often easier to chill with/open up to people you don’t know than the ones you do know because you have no personal attachment to them!

This bs is always from a bunch of 15-year-olds who don’t know shit about life or how the mind works, and people who hate Jason because he’s a preppy Christian White boy who had the audacity to hate their Edgy™ fave even though he (understandably) fully believed he had good reason to. 🙄 (And Eddie was a dick to him out of pocket in the cafeteria.)

You can love someone and they can love you back, and you can still feel like you can’t open up to them that you’re struggling. That’s just how we as humans are. (Especially at Chrissy’s age.)

[seungfl0wer]

*𝑨𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝑩𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒔*

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 2

Chapter(2) Title -> Die Happy

Chapter Warnings: This one contains smut, Unprotected sex, Creampie (ofc), knotting, “Marking”, biting, mentions of blood and ingesting it. Oral (f), dirty talk, Chans a bit possessive, Nails in skin?, Multiple orgasms. And the rest is just cute and fluffy lol. As always sorry for any mistakes.

A/N: This- came out way longer than I anticipated, however I made yall wait long enough so lol. Hope yall enjoy😘

Series Masterlist

-🐾

The nerves had you wide awake all night, mind wondering about how things were gonna be. How they were gonna be. Would they like you? Would.. would they only like you because you’re an omega? No. Chan seemed genuine about liking you before the news. It was hard to believe though, such a handsome man. A handsome well rounded man liking you? You tossed and turned in your bed trying to shut your brain off. You didn’t remember falling asleep but last time you saw on the clock was 5am. Shit- you had be up to help you dad at 9. ‘Fuck me’ you groaned.

RING RING

Your alarm was going off. The loud sound waking you made you mad. You grabbed your phone trying to turn it off not being able to hit the button. You were about to throw it against the wall if it didn’t stop. The sound deafening, finally you hit the button. Ah silence. You turned back into your bed cuddling up to your stuffed animal before drifting back off to sleep. A few hours later a knock at your door was heard. You grumbled out a “go away” tossing your pillow over your head. A chuckle came from the door but you were too tired to even respond.

“Didn’t sleep well?” A voice said as you felt the bed dip beside you. You thought it was your dad at first so you took your pillow smacking him with it. “Hey!” He said with another chuckle before peeling the pillow from your face. His eyes met your sleepy ones, it was Chan. It was Chan! Your eyes widen a bit scrambling to sit up. Your hair was all a mess, with no shorts under your long shirt. “You know it’s 11 right?” He said with that oh so heart melting smile of his plastered to his face. “Fuck!” You said scrambling to find your phone “Don’t worry love, your dad wanted you to sleep. I stopped by the store and he said you were out cold” he said.

He brought his hand up to move some hair from your face settling his hand on your cheek. “Crazy how you’re still so beautiful after waking up.” God your heart was about to explode. “Am not” you somehow get out feeling it getting stuck in your throat. He chuckled leaning in close before kissing your cheek softly. “I’d never lie to you, my beautiful mate” he said oh so softly. He smiled seeing your face become a pretty pink “want to sleep more?” He asked looking over your face. You shook your head “no- I should get up and pack” you said avoiding his gaze.

“Just gotta bring clothes we got everything else covered! The boys have been decorating it for you” he said. “You guys didn’t have too-“ you said in a low voice. “Love, my beautiful darling. You will be spoiled beyond belief so get use to it.” He said eyes darting over your face. You couldn’t help but smile the pink on your face quickly turning a deep red. He kissed your cheek once more before getting up. “Take your time love, I’ll be in the living room.” He said before getting up leaving your room.

When you finally got up yawning as you stretched. You looked out your window, it was so nice outside. It was a nice day out the sun breaming into your room. You let out a relaxed sigh taking a seat at the edge of your bed. You grabbed your bag throwing clothes in, you could always come back to get more when needed. Two bags later you walked down the stairs seeing Chan scrolling his phone. When he saw you walk down his face went a bit red. Seeing you just in your long bed shirt that came down to your knees. He gulped a bit ‘I’m not some horny teenager’ he said to himself trying to snap himself out of it.

“Bags are packed, I’m gonna get a shower quick if that’s ok?” You said sitting the bags by the couch. “Yeah- it’s fine” he said eyes looking over your body. “Awesome I’ll be” you said trailing off before bending over to grab a pair of panties and your hoodie from the clothes you had packed. The way you bent down gave Chan a nice view of your ass. Shit- his mouth dropped. Purple, Purple panties with- with lace. His head spun mind going a mile a minute. ‘I bet you look so pretty with those soaking wet’. “Right back” you continued snapping him back to reality. “Y-yeah take your time” he said face heating up from his thoughts.

After your shower you came back downstairs hair all fixed, make up done and your cutest dress you could find. He smiled wide looking at you making you blush instantly. “Think they’ll like it?” You said your eyes big like the cute little puppy you were. “They’ll love it, I love it” he said the latter coming out as a stutter which made you blush even more. “We have a bit till everything’s ready at the house” he said. “Wanna watch a movie or something?” He asked.

“Oh yeah! I have Netflix but only on my tv in my room. This tv is kinda- old” you chuckle “it doesn’t get all the fancy stuff like that only a few channels” you said.

“I’m fine with that, if you are. Can’t say I’m not gonna try and cuddle you” he said the words coming out sweetly.

“I’d be a little sad if you didn’t wanna cuddle while we lay in my bed” you teased walking towards the stairs leaving Chan in the chair a bit surprised. “Last one up the stairs is an old man” you said sticking your tongue out as you bolted up the stairs.

“Hey you little brat!” He said laughing “you just wait!” He chanced you up the stairs as you got to the top you felt his warm arms come around you making you squeal. He picked you up twirling you around before playfully tossing you on the bed. “Old man huh? You sound like the boys” he said with another laugh. God that laugh, if that’s all you could hear the rest of your life you’d be happy. His laugh was like a warm cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter day. So warm, so comforting. But that was Chan honestly. You’ve never felt this comfortable so fast with someone it was like you knew each other for years. Like an old married couple.

“Well If it’s more than one person maybe we are right” you teased. He shook his head rolling his eyes with that big smile. “You gonna come cuddle me or just stand there looking cute?” You said. The confidence you felt all of a sudden was definitely a surprise to both of you.

“Don’t know, I don’t think I heard a please” he said sticking his tongue out at you like you had to him earlier.

You rolled your eyes “ah I see” you said making him tilt his head a bit “someone likes begging” you said as you started to giggle.

He picked up the pillow you had thrown at him early smacking you with it. He jumped on the bed pinning you under him before tickling your sides. You laughed uncontrollably squirming under him “better watch the mouth of yours it’s gonna get you in trouble one of these days” he says in a teasing tone. He couldn’t deny having you laughing like this was making his heart swell, but having you under him- was making something else swell.

Once he stopped tickling you his eyes locked on yours something came over him. His eyes darting to your lips and as if you read his mind you smiled “if you want to kiss me then do it” you said eyes looking straight at him with a glint in them. And he did. He did just that leaning down lips crashing into yours. His hand came up to Caress your cheek deepening the kiss. He tasted like mint with a hint of chocolate from a cookie your mom had given to him before leaving this morning. He smelled so good too, like firewood and cologne. Your eyelashes fluttered feeling him becoming hard on top of you. His hips slightly rutting against you as he deepened the kiss. He wasn’t even aware he was moving but he could definitely feel himself getting hornier by the minute.

He leaned to your neck almost moaning when you gave him full access. He nipped at your neck kissing it sloppily fuck did he wanna mark you. He wanted to dig his teeth into every inch of you but he wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable with it. Especially having everything so new so he decided to suck. Suck those purple and red marks on your neck. The whimpers you let out made him smirk against your skin. He started to rut his hip more into you, his fully hard cock painfully trapped in his pants.

The smell of your arousal hasn’t even hit him yet. Not until you bucked your hips back to his snapping him out of the trance he was in. “Y/n-“ he said pulling away to look at you. Big mistake. The lustful expression on your face was enough to drive him crazy. However fighting everything in him he looked over you for your consent. “Fuck Chan I want you so badly but- but you think it’s a good idea to do it here?”

Dammit.

You were right, to both of your displeasures you were right. If he fucked you here especially for the first time- and if your parents came home? “Dammit” he said frustrated. He looked down at you as you pouted a bit “m’sorry” you said softly. He shook his head before placing a soft kiss to your lips. “Don’t be sorry love, you’re right. As much as I want to. Once I start I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.” He admitted.

“Is everyone at the house?” You asked tilting your head a bit. “Yeah they- wait. I forgot we have a cabin too. It’s just up the road a bit from the house!” He said his words coming out more excited than he meant to. “Wanna uhm go there?” You said. He grinned seeing you get a bit shy. “You want me that bad?” He teased.

Your heart was pounding not knowing what was coming over you, you felt shy, small even. Looking up at him with nervous eyes his gaze meeting yours. The smell of you was getting more intense it was different from before though. Something in him was telling him that he needed to take you. Needed you more than ever, his mate his love. He stood up quickly taking your hand as he basically pulled you behind him. He grabbed the bags at the door throwing them in the car. “Tell your dad that we left early but will stop by tomorrow!” He said closing your door as you sat down.

The glint in his eyes was different, especially as your smell circled in the car making his head dizzy. He drove like a mad man to that cabin. He took your hand pulling you to the cabin as soon as he had that door shut behind you he became some animal. He kissed you hungrily grinding his body against yours his hands not so gently pulling your dress up. “Y/n- fuck. It’s like you’re in heat or something. Your smell is just- just making me lose control” he said lips nibbling against your neck.

You held onto his arms, his big muscular arms. He almost ripped the panties you had on while trying to take them off. His warm hands came down to your clit lightly playing with it. “Y/n. I want to make it clear. If I do anything to make you uncomfortable tell me.” He said making sure to keep eye contact with you. “I need you to use your words at all times so I know you’re ok got it?” He said. You nodded eyes staring back at his “ok.” And with that ok he was gone he kissed his way down your neck taking your straps off your shoulder as he did.

He watched as your dress fell to the floor leaving you completely naked in-front of him. You moved your hands blocking to cover your body on instinct. He quickly let out a low growl “no hiding. No hiding that beautiful body. Fuck” he said moving quickly lips attaching to your nipples. “This beautiful body that’s all mine” he said nibbling at your nipples. You groaned in response rubbing your hips together for some kinda relief. He smirks against your skin before he starts kissing down your body. He nips at the skin a bit getting to your already soaking cunt.

He can feel saliva pulling in his mouth. He made it a mission just then to make you cum at least once on his tongue before fucking you. He needed to taste everything you had. Then something clicked a little. He wanted to be first. He had to be first. The first one to see anything of you. To hear you to taste you everything before anyone in the pack could even imagine it. He dove headfirst into the pool of your cunt. Lapping his tongue long against your folds flicking it perfectly at your clit. He brought his big hands to hold around your thighs keeping you spread for him.

“Chan!” You moaned out gripping his hair tightly. Your body shuddered as you looked down at him. Eyes hazy, as he sucked your clit so effortlessly pulling moans from you. He freed one hand bringing it up to rub it against your folds before pushing his fingers into you. He needed to make sure you could take him. Take his full length, his full knot in you. He pumped his fingers in and out the noises filing the air. Your body moved on its own out of pleasure as you started to grind against his tongue making him moan. He dug his nails into your thighs the small sting making you whimper.

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel good, that you didn’t like the slight pain of it. Fuck. At this rate you’d be cumming in record time. “Chan- please- I’m close! So fucking close!” You said as your hands gripped at his shoulders for some support. You felt like you were floating away, the only thing holding you here was him. His fingers picked up the pace pushing deep into. He nipped at the inner of your thigh the bit of pain making you clench around him. He let out another low groan realizing you liked it. He quickly sunk his sharp teeth into your leg blood flooding his mouth.

“F- fuck!” Is all you could cry out as you felt yourself fading away into bliss. You came hard around his fingers moaning loudly as he lapped at the bite mark. He sucked his fingers clean before licking all your juices. The taste of you sending wave of need up his spine. You tasted heavily, like sweet homemade cookies, something he sure would be addicted to. He kissed his way up to you taking his pants off as he did. His cock was so painfully hard, the tip red dripping with pre cum. His eyes were hooded glossed over as he leaned into your lips.

He aligned his length to your entrance before pushing in slowly. As much as he wanted to fuck you hard. Wanted to make you cry his name over and over he needed to take it slow at first. His cock inches its way into your warm walls settling so perfect like it was made to be there. He looked over your face for some reassurance before he started moving. You nodded slightly knowing what he was waiting for before you could even blink he was pounding into you. He fucked up into at such an angel hitting your walls and every sensitive spot it could.

He crashed his lips into your biting your bottom lip before pulling away again. His speed was no joke he was like a rabbit. You felt your legs becoming like jelly, feeling weak and wobbly. He wrapped them around him carrying you to the bedroom where he placed you on all fours. The new angle had you seeing stars and maybe even god himself. He was hitting your g-spot so perfectly, hands gripping harshly at your hips as he dug his nails into them.

“My perfect mate- fuck you were made for me.” He said moving his body to press against your back. His hand came down to play with your clit as the sound of his balls slapping you filled the air. “Made to take my cock. Made to take my knot. You. Are. Mine.” He said punctuating those words with a harder thrust each time. You almost screamed out in pleasure “all yours- I’m all yours alpha!”

The sound of you calling him alpha made his mind skip. It went blank but I was flooded with so much. Without thinking he bit harshly at your shoulder sinking in as he marked you as his. This mark being a permanent reminder that you belonged to him. That he was your alpha.

“Shit! Shit! Cu-cumming!” You screamed body falling on the bed as Chan fucked into you harder and harder deeper and deeper. “Yeah that’s it cum on my cock, cum on your alphas cock. Such a good little omega. My good little omega” he said. The sounds he was letting out as he chased his high were almost pornagraphic. They were gutterle low groans mixed with whimpers of pleaser. “Gonna take my knot? Gonna let me stuff you full? Hmm my pretty omega.” He groaned.

“Yes fuck- I want your knot please alpha!” You managed to choke out as he pumped a few more times into you before pushing his knot into your abused wet hole. You felt his ball twitch as he came so deep in you. Your legs shook as another orgasm washed over you at the feeling. Fuck you’d never wanna feel anything else. The way he felt so deep in you, so full of all of him. His arms wrapped around you as he rutted himself into you. “Mine” he kept saying softly. His head laid on your back leaving kisses everywhere.

You both just laid there catching your breaths before his phone rang. “Everything done. Come home. Please come home. I wanna see her. Please channie!” The voice on the other line whined. Chan was still trying to catch his breath a bit as he spoke “alright lix I’ll be there soon ok?” Chan responded before turned to you. “Think you can walk” he teased. “Probably, think you can pull out?” You teased back making you both laugh. “Yeah I could for a bit now” he said before kissing your cheek. “Seriously!” You said playfully smacking him.

“Hey hey! That’s abuse!” He joked before pulling you into a sweet kiss. “Let’s get cleaned up so you can meet the rest of your mates” he said with a grin. You smiled “I can’t wait!”

—🐾—

After getting cleaned up and making sure you both rehydrated Chan drove down the road a bit to the house. It was beautiful old ranch house huge, with a lot of land. A swimming pull out back, plenty of room for a garden. A swing set sat on one side and a crabapple tree on the other. You couldn’t believe how big this place was. “This was a rough house when I first got it but I fixer up pretty good” Chan said with a proud smile. When you pulled in you could see bright sunshine eyes staring at the car.

Chan got out first as the hoard ran to you “be gentle you maniacs” he said. He opened your door letting you step out. They all smiled at you Felix piping up first “can I hug you!” He said with a big lip out and how on earth would you ever be able to say no to that? “Of course” you said softly and hes already tackling you. His arms wrapped around your body pulling you into a hug. He smelled like chocolate and a hint of vanilla. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember” he said looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. Ugh your heart, he was so fucking cute. He could get away with murder with that look.

Your face went red before you could say thank you another man approached “I see why you weren’t here” he said looking at the fresh marking on your neck. “Hush” Chan said with a grin. “I’m Minho by the way” the man said with a smile. He pointed at everyone having them introduce themselves before Felix dragged you into the kitchen. “Dinner should be ready soon” he said clinging to your arm. “We made your favorite, if it suckers Minho made it” someone said behind you making you laugh. It was seungmin he stood at the door way leaning against it.

“Lix why don’t you show her, her room” Chan suggested making Felix’s face light up. “I’m coming too!” Changbin said rushing behind you both taking hold of your other arm. They pulled you through the pretty house, looking around it made you wonder. Who decorated in here? It was so nice? Not what most men’s houses would be. Looked like something straight from a magazine. Everything methodically put together and situated perfectly. “Yall got an interior designer or something?” You asked.

“Hm? Oh the house? Hyunjin really likes that kinda stuff. He’s good at it ain’t he” Changbin said with a smile. When you nod he continues “tell him it’ll make him really happy” he said. These men and their pretty smiles are gonna drive you crazy. “Close your eyes” Felix said. When you did you heard the door squeak open. “Ok ok open!” He said with a wide smile. You were met with a beautiful styled gothic almost room with plushies decorating it. There were candles, a computer, books and pictures of you and your family.

Your heart swelled at the look of it feeling tear almost well up “do you love it!” Felix said coming up to look at you. “Wait don’t cry!” He said taking your face into your hands, he softly wiped away the tears that dared to come out. “Ah it’s just really sweet of you all to do this. Makes me feel.. really care for” you said.

A pair of arms wrapped around you feeling a warm body press against your back hugging you tightly “you are really cared for, we’re here to spoil you pretty” Changbin said resting his head on your shoulder. Your face heated up making Felix giggle “you got her blushing” he said in a teasing tone. “You’re just jealous he’s hugging me and you’re not” you said sticking your tongue out. Felix chuckled before all but tackling you again laying his head in between your breast. He looked up at you with a grin “you smell so good. You sure your mom didn’t just bake you?” He said cheesily.

You rolled your eyes smiling down at him “says the one with little chocolate chip freckles” you said. His face turned pink in an instant burring his face into your chest to hide. “Seriously how am I gonna survive with you all?” You said with a light chuckle “to many pretty men”

Changbin squeezed you tightly “ooh she thinks we are pretty” he almost purred into your neck. “Dinners ready!” You heard Minho yell from down the hall. Changbin picked you up twirling you around making Felix drop you. “Last one there has to sit beside Minho” he said before letting you go and sprinting down the hallway. Lix and you both started laughing “he’s something” Felix said interlocking his hand with yours. “You really like the room though?” He asked. You nod smiling at him “I love it”

Hyunjin was standing at the door smiling as he saw you “oh Hyunjin! I wanted to tell you the house is really pretty. You’re really good at design.” You complimented him. His face lit up cheeks turning red “I-uh thank you” he stuttered out. “Assess in chairs before jeongin scarfs everything” Minho said. Chan smiled taking your hand having you sit beside him. “Alright you gremlins dig in” Minho said before making his plate. He watched you as made your plate taking a bite. Your eyes looked over at him looking like a deer in headlights almost. “Well?” He said staring intently. “Delicious” you said with a smile.

He smiled back smugly “of course it is I made it” he teased as he ate. The room was quiet as everyone ate. After filling up it, the tiredness hit you. You yawned rubbing your eyes softly “someone’s sleepy” Felix said. Chan nodded “she didn’t sleep well” he said as he rubbed your back. “Sure it’s not from your fun you two had?” Seungmin said making everyone laugh. He rolled his eyes “could be that too” he said smugly.

“It is late too, why don’t we clean up and snuggle on the couch? We all can watch a movie or something.” Chan suggested everyone’s eyes lighting up. “I call sitting beside y/n!” Jisung said first time you heard from him today. Chan did mention he was a bit shy especially around new people so hearing him say it made you happy.

As everyone got up taking their plates to the sink they ran to get blankets and everything to make it comfortable. You put the plate in the sink while Minho loaded the dishwasher “want help?” You asked. He looked at you trying not to smile. “No.” He said bluntly. “Go join the others” he said putting more dishes in. As you walked away he thought you listened but here you come back with the rest of the plates from the table. “I told you“ he said but you cut him off “yeah yeah here’s the rest of the dishes” you said playfully sitting them on the counter.

He chuckled a bit looking at you “such a little brat hmm?” He said in a humming tone. “Just like helping” you said patting his back softly “thank you by the way. Dinner was really really good” you said smiling. Ooh that smile the way you complimented him his heart was pounding. You were so pretty. Making him blush a bit “An-y time” he said focusing back to his dishes trying to hide his face. You made your way to the living room seeing all the blankets on the floor. They made such a big pile with pillows everywhere, the cushions from the couch on the floor as well.

“Y/n let’s goo” Seungmin whined. You rolled your eyes making your way to the pile taking your seat beside Chan and Jisung. To your surprise the other members were cuddled up to each other. No fragile masculinity here. Felix had his head laid on Changbins leg, seungmin and Jeongin leaning against the couch. Hyunjin took his place in Changbins other leg. They were about to press start Jisung interlocking his arms with yours. Chan had his arm around your waist pulling you a bit closer. Jisung whined at the movement “hey I called sitting with her” he huffed making Chan chuckle “sorry sorry”

As they went to press play you stopped them “wait Minho isn’t in here we can’t start” you said looking over at the kitchen. “It’s ok pretty, he’ll be in” Felix said looking over at you with a smile. You pouted though making them all coo. “We can’t start if everyone not here, that not fair.” You said crossing your arms. So they waited. Anything to make sure you were happy. As Minho walked in he was surprised “yeah didn’t start it?” He asked.

Chan shook his head “y/n wanted everyone in the room before we started” he said with a smile. Of course you did. Of course you were this sweet caring person who even cared about him. He cleared his throat looking over at you “well I’m here” he said looking where to sit. “You can sit here” you said patting the space between your legs. Were you trying to kill him? Seriously. He made his way to you taking his seat between your thighs leaning back slightly. As the movie started you started to run your hands against Minhos back. It sent shivers up his back the touch feeling so light.

Chan smiled to himself, it felt like you belonged here. Like you’ve always have been apart of their family. You just meshed so well with them it made his heart so full. You leaned your head against Chan his hand coming up behind to play with your hair. That’s it you were out. As soon as he started to play with your hair your body became pudding melting into him. Falling asleep fast your arms held onto Minho wrapping your arms around his waist pulling him into you to cuddle. He let out a little huff but leaned into your touch. You were so warm so comforting.

Han was cuddled up to you as well, his arms wrapped around your arm head resting on your shoulder. You both were out like a light, so was half the room except Minho and Chan. Chan took the opportunity to talk to Minho “what do you think?” Chan said nudging him softly. “I think this is too good to be true” he said eyes focused on the screen. Chan chuckled softly trying not to wake you up. “It feels so right though doesn’t it?” Minho nodded in response. “Yeah, to right?” He said sounding like a question.

Minho ended up nodding off shortly after talking, fully leaning into you as he drifted to sleep. Chan took a mental picture of this moment. If he died today he’d die happy.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

series Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @stayconnecteed @minniesverse @ldysmfrst @jehhskz @lunearta @hello-stranger24 @justastraymoa @hyun-prince @catlove83 @lunearta @iknow-uknow-leeknow @chocolateislife @doitforbangchan @kkamismom12 @minghaosimp @dessianna1 @fiestaplum-skz @jeonginsleftcheek @queen-in-the-shadows @manuosorioh @tsunderelino @aalexyuuuhm

[cutieeva]

Oh shit ! I truly thought that (Y/N) has gone mad but it wasn't that way when I read the second episode !! 😔😔 I am sad for girly yet excited to read the next that's why please please please update fast 😘😘 (Also I love your writing, officially in love with you)

Bullied

Female Reader

Warnings : Bullying. Violence.

⌜ Thank you dearie for loving my art of writing, it never fails to makes me happy and here an belated update. ⌟

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒

Loving someone itself is an act of selfish so why is leaving the relationship seen so heinous ? Sometimes one's own sake of happiness is needed more than another's if fallen out of love. The sooner (Y/N) understand the better.

"What is going on in that table ?"

"Is the girl okay ?"

"Why is she making a big deal about all ?"

"He is such a lovely boy yet she is so nasty accusing him for cheating ?"

"If I had a boyfriend like that I would die from happiness".

"He should break up with her".

"She seem toxic".

"(Y/N) ! Stop it and get up". Sophia's irritated voice reach her ears and (Y/N) couldn't help but feel all is jumbled. All is unclear. All is numb because does her suffering doesn't matter ? Yes, perhaps she is overreacting yet is it her fault when he was the one to lie about everything ?

Slowly her (E/C) eyes met Sophia's and other accountances she calls friends and her heart dropped.

Her pale face in snarl.

Other's cheeks red from thoroughly shame.

Another can't even share a glance at her.

The beautiful woman standing in awkward.

The guests are whispering, increasingly harsh, scary and the workers worried.

And lastly Cameron, stood looking hurt. In pain than she was and all her beliefs, reality begin distorting.

Is she a nuisance ?

Is she really overreacting over everything like others ?

Is she the one in wrong for not trusting him ?

Is being dated on bet and built an relationship on lies is alright as long as the faulty party apologize ?

If once the trust she believes was broken in the worst way, then is she the one to create drama ?

Are lies not serious ?

Do lies have little meaning ? Is playing with someone else's feeling is a small price for a relationship she didn't even realize ?

Is she overreacting ? "Am I overreacting ?" Despite people surround her, her own few people even the boyfriend she loved once yet why she suddenly feels so alone ? Lonely ? And hopeless ?

Daze with piling doubts and thousand pairs of eyes watching her, her hand yanked by Cameron. "I am sorry, I apologize for the scene". Smiling like a good man he hold her shoulder and walk her limp body to his car he drove.

In the entirety none dare break the ice in air while Cameron was in disappointment, (Y/N) in utter confusion. All she discover is that she has fall out of love, maybe from the moment he said 'I am now' in front of the men along losing herself. For the fear to let go she latched onto him, gifting him the second chance only to realize her suspicious, love turn into anger and anger form an hatred. An hatred she didn't knew. An hatred so deep she was unable to see his goodness anymore only searching faults.

Her entire being of happy, blunt, forgiving shaped into such a stranger her own eyes have harder to see from the clear fog. She shaped into a vicious, incredulous person. A person she never even dreamed to become.

"Get off". Cameron's that soft, smooth voice rip her from the creeping shadows of words inside her mind and her haze gaze glance to find herself house. His home they decide to turn into their love nest.

Sliding down from the car, she walked towards the lift without waiting for him to follow and press the cold metal button. Her eyes dried from the tears that caught her reflection in the shining metal and she couldn't help find the dark circles weight heavy under her eyes, rim edges red and hair— a mess with barely appropriate clothes on. She looks nothing alike the neat, fresh (Y/N).

She looks wasted, used and worn off self— the door of the lifts snap her out again, she blink twice before stepping in properly. Their floor came faster than she expect and the moment the doorknob twist open. She close her eyes ready to be face with angry lashing, words like knives twisting her guts yet none came.

Rather he remove his coat, wash his hands and smile. "What shall we eat then ?"

She merely stare at him.

He continue to smile. The smile she doesn't find warming, sweet.

"Maybe something different. Like Pollo al Ajillo, in English known as Garlic Chicken ? Hmm ?" A single word didn't slip her lips, standing at her roots.

And without her reply he decided. She watched him not moving her an inch cooking, smiling like a normal couple. Minutes bled into hours and little to no care he serve the food, finally ripping her from her roots and sat her beside him.

Stomach churn in no hunger and eyes burden to open, she look at him. "Let's take a break". The metal spoon his fingers held pause, his smile creased.

"I-I need spac���".

"You don't". He cut off smoothly. His smile wider to it's length than before and the spoon between his fingers lay on the wooden table. "I know what happen today was a little overboard but do not worry. It was my fault after all and it's alright. I forgive you". Soft his eyes he push the plate of food to her, an gesture to eat.

However she couldn't. Her eyes couldn't rip from the oblivious face, acting all normal, when nothing is. Nothing is normal. Their relationship is falling apart, their love draft from one another and trust long out of the picture.

He so easily utter his denial. She doesn't need space, perhaps she doesn't but wouldn't he at least ask the reason behind ? Even if it's known still ask and not play the game of pretend. It's exhausting because they are a real couple not actors in a play.

"Would you not ask me why ?" Her voice in end crack.

"Would it make a difference ?"

"Yes, a lot". Honestly she shares, it will help her a lot to understand the real Cameron, the one who she fell for or the one she saw when the illusion shatter.

He turn his head to her. "We are doing alright. It will be fine. Look am I not improving myself ?" No, she only sees him now complying to her wishes easily.

"I need space". She look away, his face reminding her of those cherish days. "We both need space". She finished, adamant on seperating even if it's for a moment she wants to breath, the tightness on her chest is too much and the alarming mistrust.

Once a pot is broken, even with the finest potter's hands can't fix the remained lines of past.

"Okay". To her surprise he agreed "I see, you need time to cool your head". With that he stood up and went to their shared bedroom leaving her and the cold food behind.

Her finger hold the spoon to take a bite of the dish however few inches from her lips she pause. Staring at the food and can't help but cry of unable to eat at the end. Merely thinking how without waiting for her choice, he cooked the food, only giving an illusion of choices.

☾

When one announce their break up. People's first reaction is : 

"Did he cheat ?"

"Did you cheat ?"

"Is he abusive ?"

"Manipulative ?"

"Controlling ?"

"A bet". (Y/N) would say. "I was a bet he was dared to date and in process he fell for me but he always treated not less than a princess and after I found out he begged, confessed his love. From then he always is perfect. Even ignoring my overreaction". All the voices stopped altogether. The harsh, doubtful all pause because in this picture nothing is wrong apart from the fact he was a liar, who lied and fixed himself for better. He really did but can it patch the wounds of her shattered faith in him ?

People always say second chance can change lives, do wonders and in her she saw. She can see why they give second chances yet she can't bring herself to love anymore. She is angry, stuck on the phrase where all laughed at her like a clown, whispering, betting for how long would she last.

Was she a human or a puppet ? He never defended her, he never share his thoughts with her. She doesn't even know him anymore. She really really is lost.

Even walking towards the metal gates of university seem heavy, scary. Her mind already twisted her vision of people laughing, hating her. Being the center of attention she so wants to be away from. Her (E/C) eyes glance around walking to her class recalling not to stumble upon them or him. She is enough exhausted. She doesn't need more.

BANG! She flinched, her nerves jolting.

BANG! Her eyelids snapped shut, shielding herself from the brutality.

BANG! The sound of flesh colliding with metal reverberated through her ears, leaving a buzzing ache. A human body, crumpling like a rag doll.

"Poor him. He should quit or complain". Not so subtle whispers like flicker of fire circle around, reaching her ears.

"Shouldn't he die at this rate ?" Cruel.

"What a bore. Really ? Everyday ? Isn't it such a nuisance—". Cruel. So, so cruel. Just because a person can't help himself doesn't give these people the chance to pity him. To paint him— the victim the cause of his own suffering. His silence was twisted into consent, his helplessness fuel for their merciless ridicule.

Cruel. Cruel. Cruel. Cruel. Laughter like devilish cackles echoed, faces feigning sympathy, eyes gleaming with fox-like innocence. Cowardly souls, masking their true nature.

She, too, wore a mask, hypocrisy veiling her own darkness.

That's why in a blink of an eye. Her once neat clean palm painted in crimson, stretch of iron reeking the air, painful grunts and horried screams and distorted yells is making no sense to her. She can't understand the aching in her palm, the cries of the familiar boy's underneath her, chanting of word fight and her own tears rolling down.

"Fight. Fight. Fright. Fright". The crowd roar fueling her more and more and more. Why are they encouraging ? Yet why does it feel like she is revelling in it ?

"(Y/N) ! Stop beating Adrian". Oh. Her palms ache because she is punching his face, painted in crimson because it's his blood, cries belong to Adrian who lay beneath her helpless like that boy he was seconds ago using as a ragdoll.

How wonderful.

She can't stop. She punch and punch and punch and punch uttering only three words. "I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry". Not to the bully— no never to Adrian. Never to the boy who is violent to innocent. It's to the victim, to the unknown jester of everyone's joke. For Everyone's play. For the system that enable Adrian's cruelty into fun.

She is sorry for blind. She is sorry for foolish. She is sorry for being coward. She is sorry for ignoring him. She is sorry for wearing mask of pretense herself. She is sorry for falling into the lies of Cameron. She is sorry for saying yes to his proposal. She is sorry for overreacting. She is sorry for suspecting. She is sorry for losing trust. She is sorry for not being happy with a perfect boyfriend.

She is sorry for fell in love.

She is sorry for.....everything.

To herself.

To everything.

☾

Dry tears stain her (S/C) cheeks as in empty space she stare, leaning on the chair in front of director's office. The woman's words faded into background noise, inaudible over the cacophony of her thoughts.

Her mind replayed the chaos: the frantic struggle, the flash of anger, the blur of fists. She couldn't recall who intervened, pulling her back from the brink of destruction. By then, he had already crumpled, unconscious. Her tangled hair bore witness to the scuffle, matted from the grasping hands of his minions, few blood dotted her blue jeans, a crimson constellation from her own nose. Her torn t-shirt hung askew, shoulder exposed while he— lay worse. Broken. Lifeless almost.

Yet no remorse stirred in her stomach, surprisingly. Instead, a lingering sense of justification lingered, eclipsed only by the anguish she felt for the victim. The one she had been compelled to defend, driven by a primal urge to protect she only dreamed.

"(Y/N), can you hear me?" The director's voice cut through the tension. "Do you comprehend the gravity of your situation? You're at risk of expelled !" An humorless laugh almost slip from (Y/N).

Expelled for what ? Punching a deserving scum to death while he punch an innocent boy to death when his skin wasn't even healed from the stitches of wounds Adrian left on him ?

(E/C) eyes stare at the female director who's blue glossy eyes stare at (Y/N) like she was a demon of chao when in her view, the real corrupt could be the adult, this lady who blind these physical, emotion abuse. Pain so small like (Y/N)'s bet and huge imprinting like that boy's scars for eternal to remember. Become something that etched in their memories, their experiences, though grave and painful, would be reduced to cautionary stories, diluted by time and retelling. The true weight of their suffering would remain unspoken, lost amidst the faint whispers of a forgotten past.

The tense standoff ended when the director's blue eyes darted past (Y/N), as if catching something She sighed audibly, her expression softening. "Get out. Reflect on your actions and the reasons for your two-week suspension. Expulsion is off the table." She mused confusing (Y/N)'s daze self a little and when she stood up, walking out of the room.

She understand meeting his concern eyes. Her boyfriend must have used his power.

Cameron swallowed under her intense gaze, part his lips to say when she continue to walk, aware of the pain in her body suddenly.

Alone in the empty hallway, she felt a fleeting sense of peace, liberated from the weight of others' judgments. Her footsteps echoed off the walls as she moved, ghost-like. Her eyes drifted to the scattered belongings on the floor, remnants of the chaos. She bent to gather them, her movements slow and deliberate.

A sudden twinge of pain shot through her knee as she crouched. (Y/N) winced, noticing the cut, a crimson gash on her pale skin. She gingerly touched the wound, her fingers tracing the tender edge. This time she felt like crying with clarity, like she knew what she was crying for along a need. Tears swell within her (E/C) eyes waiting to fall.

"It will hurt more if you cry". Calmly she gaze beside her. To the lockers where the boy slumped, his face still smeared with blood. The indifference surrounding him was palpable, as if no one cared about his suffering. (Y/N) press her lips, pulling a white handkerchief to hand him.

He accepted the handkerchief, his fingers brushing against hers. With gentle movements, he wiped the blood from his face, revealing a canvas of bruises and wounds beneath. For the first time, (Y/N) saw his true complexion – pale, with a hint of rosy undertones. The vibrant hues of his injuries – purple, blue, and crimson – stood in stark contrast to his delicate skin.

As the blood was wiped away, his features emerged, and (Y/N) noticed the sharp angles of his cheekbones, the gentle curve of his nose, and the softness of his lips.

"I am sorry". It fell out before she could revise or add.

"Don't be". He shake his head. "Everyone's coward. Even me". (Y/N) desire to protest of his own situation.

"I am talking about you". She blink. "You are Cameron's girlfriend". He utter like a fact. "All business major knew about a bet on a girl. They just didn't knew who until one of Cameron's friend told about your relationship making everyone realize who she is but wasn't sure". Her breath hitched. So they did. All did.

"I too, because I am from business major. Yet I was a coward to not say the truth or at least..." He tailed off. "Warn you". He finished heavy silence weight the air. (Y/N) inhale, not finding words to explain the mess of feelings she is having. Indeed both were jester of everyone's joke.

As she scoffed, her gaze trailed his movements, expecting him to walk away. But instead, he swooped down, his lithe frame folding into a crouch beside her. His amber eyes locked onto her knee, the cut a tiny, crimson gash.

Without a word, he reached out, his fingertips grazing her skin as he applied a band-aid. A shiver danced up her spine at the gentle touch.

"You know you're also being bullied?" His voice was low, concerned. Her eyes lift to his focused ones on her cut, whispering a "No".

"Bullying is not only physical you know. It can be emotional too. And what is happening to you is bullying too. An emotional one where he took advantage of your trust, then play with your feelings, manipulate you into staying in the relationship when you clearly in daze of the complexity and not in right state. If he truly cared about you, wouldn't he have asked how you felt or given you the space to think? Wouldn't he have prioritized your well-being over his own desires? But instead, he rushed you into this relationship, disregarding your boundaries and emotions". His words felt like sting of bees she couldn't process as the image of Cameron's pained face when she accused of him cheating in front of others.

His pure happiness when he pull the chair for her in front of her parents.

His patience when she was crying so suddenly and at the restaurant.

Her colleagues Sofia and others disturbed faces and harsh whispers.

"No. No. He is not perfect, yes. He is not good entirely. He is a liar but he improved. It is I who has problem. I fall out of love, mistrust him and..." Her throat felt dry to speak and she swallowed having difficulty seeing. The problem lies in her. She is the odd, fallen one.

The boy finally gaze his amber eyes and said. "If Cameron really is a good person. Not perfect, good. Then why in the first place are you lashing out and angrily pushing your anger on Adrian ? And in a mess mindset ?" It left (Y/N) shunned. Because truly did she blames Cameron for her misery. Hates him for his mockery of perfection. However never did she blame him for his entanglement to this relationship based on lies for her was truth.

"Let's assume Cameron is a good person who genuinely cares for you and loves you deeply, but isn't able to let you go. However, if being with him no longer brings you happiness— not because of his flaws, but because your feelings have changed and you're staying solely out of guilt or obligation, don't you think it's time to reevaluate? For your own sake, shouldn't you prioritize your happiness even if it's selfishness ?"

As he stood, dusting off his pants, (Y/N) lifted her gaze to meet his. His eyes held a gentle intensity. "After all, loving someone is, in itself, a selfish act," he added, his voice low and thoughtful.

"I am saying this because you came out of your cowardness for me and I for you". the boy said, wincing as he gingerly touched his jaw. "I should get to the nurse," he added, his voice laced with discomfort.

She swiftly stood up, her hand brushing against his arm with an awkward yet tender touch. "Let me help."

"No, it's okay..." He trailed off, his mind reeling as a wave of dizziness washed over him. His legs weakened, and he swayed precariously, almost toppling over.

(Y/N)'s eyes widened in alarm as she swiftly grasped his arms, her grip tight.

𝑻𝒐 𝑩𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅

☾ ────────

[fortunatefires]

4B movement is an absolute joke and if you seriously think it will happen outside of the women who already aren’t fuckable, datable, or marriage material, you’re out of your element. Have a nice day.

Die mad about it, babe 😘 Sorry you believe the only value of women are the ways in which they benefit men. Incel behavior.

[laineystein]

Throwback to a younger me in tzahal.

I had no idea what was ahead of me in terms of wearing this uniform and serving my country. Endlessly proud and grateful for our army - today and everyday 🦊💜

[youremyheaven]

Moon Dominance & Manipulation pt 3

I just keep finding more examples and I couldn't not share. They will vary in terms of the severity of abuse and manipulation. Some are quite silly but some are pretty fcked up. Salty Moon dominants who cannot stand being criticized, stay mad boo 😘you will never stop me from speaking my truth<3

One thing I have noticed about Moon dominant individuals is that they completely seem to believe the lies they tell others. They don't think they're being manipulative at the slightest because they fully believe everything they say, no matter how absurd or outlandish it is. This means that Moon dominants are easily influenced and can be manipulated easily even if they are also capable of blatantly manipulating and deceiving others. I see Moon dominants stuck in unhealthy relationships simply because they'll just play mind games with their partner until the day they die instead of just choosing peace.

Katrina Kaif, Hasta Moon

Katrina has lied about being half-Indian and half-white her entire career to be more "relatable" to Indians. no one knows who her father is or how exactly she grew up and how a British woman like her ended up modelling and acting in India at the age of 17. She's now one of the biggest stars in the country and to this day no one knows much about her background.

She is one of 8 siblings, all of whom are extremely white looking

it is possible that Katrina is mixed while her siblings are not but it's also possible that she just inherited a more olive complexion compared to her siblings??

this is a picture of Kat and some of her siblings as kids, this man vaguely looks like he could be POC but there are plenty of spicy white men who have darker features/hair & eye color?

if this is the father in question, his name is Ronald Turcotte (Katrina's birth name is Kate Turcotte, she "Indianized" her name to be Katrina Kaif when she made her debut 20+yrs ago) and this is a pic of him with his current wife:

He literally just looks like a regular white guy with some Italian ancestry or something.

Katrina has not only lied about being "half-Indian" but also said her father's name is Mohammad Kaif and that he was a Kashmiri businessman lmao

The producer of her first film who introduced her to Bollywood said:

 "We created an identity for her. She was this pretty young English girl, and we gave her the Kashmiri father and thought of calling her Katrina Kazi. We thought we'd give her some kind of Indian ancestry, to connect with the audience ... But then we thought that Kazi sounded too ... religious? ... Mohammad Kaif was at the top, and so we said, Katrina Kaif sounds really great" (for context, Mohammad Kaif is the name of a well known cricketer)

She once said:

 “Probably it may sound very stupid. You know you must have seen enough and your friends, how you have dark children who grew up to be fair. I was a very dark child so there was no way that you would look at me and say this is a Caucasian child. I was always viewed upon as oh how exotic or how ethnic."

Even Emily Ratajkowski is very non-white looking for a white woman, imagine if she started claiming that she "feels" ethnic as she "looks" ethnic.

Here are some excerpts from a 2011 interview:

The complicated politics of a tan skin white woman feeling validated by being comparatively light skinned in a deeply colorist country like India and lying about being half-Indian is just ..... 🤢🤮🤢

Bella Hadid- Hasta Sun

Bella, her brother and mother all suffer from a condition called "chronic Lyme disease". Gigi, the only person who does not have Lyme, has Hashimoto's disease.

Lets get a few things out of the way. Lyme disease is a real, entirely treatable and completely curable illness. All you have to do is take antibiotics and you'll make a full recovery in about 2 weeks.

Chronic Lyme disease is a different condition and widely debunked by the medical community for not being a real condition.

Wikipedia defines Chronic Lyme as:

"Chronic Lyme disease is the name used by some people with non-specific symptoms, such as fatigue, muscle pain, and cognitive dysfunction to refer to their condition, even if there is no evidence that they had Lyme disease."

That said, Bella and her mom have been talking about their struggles with Lyme disease for over a decade now. Medical professionals all deny the existence of this condition and both Bella and Yolanda (her mom) are treated by various quack, pseudoscientific "alternative" medicine practitioners who are more or less ill qualified and not real doctors.

When Bella was 16yrs old, she was arrested for driving under the influence and this was literally addressed on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the show that her mother starred in. Yolanda used to write a blog for Bravo in which she expressed her thoughts about this incident and she also mentioned writing a long letter to Bella.

Yolanda's dad died in a car accident when she was 7 and she was very frightened by Bella's accident but also relieved that neither she nor anybody else was injured.

That letter she wrote was somehow leaked and is available on the internet. Here it goes:

Interestingly enough, Bella was diagnosed with "chronic lyme" 👀in the same year. Bella once mentioned that she started smoking cigarettes at 14yrs old and clearly by 16 she was drunk driving with a cocktail of substances stashed in her car. Bella's old tumblr blog that has been widely circulated also reveals that she struggled with an eating disorder at this time and perhaps depression as well.

I mention all this because I have always suspected Bella of using "chronic lyme" as a cover up for her struggles with substance abuse and her eating disorder. Even all the symptoms for chronic lyme are so vague that pretty much anybody could experience them, but their occurrence is greatly exacerbated if one suffers from stress/anxiety/is abusing drugs etc (more on this in a minute).

In an interview, Bell said of her DUI:

"I stopped driving because I kept crashing, because my brain just stopped working.’ She had an accident — ‘It was when I first got sick. It was a dark time’ — which was reported in the press as a DUI. ‘I was exhausted all the time. It affected my memory so I suddenly wouldn’t remember how to drive to Santa Monica from Malibu where I lived. I couldn’t ride. I was just too sick. And I had to sell my horse because I couldn’t take care of it.’ It was an emotional blow on top of the physical."

Now the thing is, Yolanda mentioned in her own blog post that Bella went to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings as mandated by the court:

"I decided to take her phone away, make her pay for her own lawyer bills from her savings, and we sold her car. The court suspended her license for one year, she received six months probation, and was required to conduct 25 hours of community service and 20 hours of AA meetings."

She likely stopped driving because Yolanda got on her ass and sold her car lol?? As Yolanda herself said??? Yolanda never said one word about Lyme and she's pretty much the self-appointed spokesperson for Lyme so the fact that in her own blog post literally right after the accident, she addresses the issue for what it is makes Bella's later remarks of her being tOo siCk tO drIvE sound like a lie 🤥

This is an easy example of how Moon dominants manipulate the truth to suit their narrative and make themselves look better. Bella made her debut later that year and it would look bad if everyone saw Bella as a spoilt bratty nepo baby who was also a teenage alcoholic riding her sister's coattails into modelling. Also you have to remember, Bella was the less popular sister back then and she only became an icon and it girl by like 2019ish.

It suited Bella and later Yolanda to keep pushing the chronic lyme agenda to win sympathy.

Also just btw, I think Yolanda is super fucked up and this letter offers an interesting look into her mind. She is Uttarashada Sun and Jyeshta Moon and I think its sooo bizarre how her daughter almost died in a car crash and all she can talk about is how dirty and messy the car is??? Why isn't she talking about Bella being drunk out of her mind or about her alcohol habit in general??? Why is she not pointing out her actual concerning lifestyle instead of "oh my god youre soooo messy and im soooo sad" ??? anywayyys

Ever since then, chronic lyme has been Bella's go to to describe everything about herself. Symptoms that could easily be from stress, anxiety, depression, addiction, starving herself etc are all blamed on a non-existent condition. When actual doctors say the condition does not exist and you and your mom claim it does, I think it says something 😬

Also, Yolanda was sick during the filming of her reality show and it was found out that her breast implants had ruptured and the silicon was leaking into her bloodstream and making her sick. She later said it was Chronic Lyme instead lmfaooo. So there is plenty of proof that both mom and daughter are just making this shit up.

one thing I cannot stand about Moon dominants is how they constantly seek validation for everything they do and love to win sympathy. Meghan Markle, Hasta Moon is another example. Sympathy capitalist, Selena Gomez (Cancer stellium) is another example.

What exactly was Bella trying to prove by posting pictures of her looking very out of it?? To prove to people that she is indeed sick?? There are many celebs out there who struggle with chronic illnesses, are they posting pics from their treatment??? Overall, it feels very "🥺🥺poor me, im so grateful despite everything, im so strong, look at how much i suffer and struggle!!!" as if she's trying to downplay any privilege bashing she may get by counteracting it with a "im extremely sick" narrative bc no one can hate on someone who is ill even if that is a fictional illness.

There were rumours all of last year that she took a break from modelling to go to rehab and she had also broken up with her then bf.

look at those symptoms and tell me you haven't experienced those at some point lmao. I used to struggle with severe anxiety many years ago and an eating disorder several years ago and I experienced pretty much all of those symptoms. I say this because those symptoms by itself are really vague and not specific to any one illness.

another really sus issue is why Bella felt the need to post pics of her medical history??? like she's a model not running for President lmao,,,, its obvious that she really wants to be perceived as struggling with chronic lyme. Most people with a health issue stay quiet about it (their issues are also actual illnesses but oh well)

This is a screenshot of a lab test she posted:

A clinical lab scientist who performs tests on infectious diseases (like Lyme) said:

First off, having this amount and varied pathogens within your body at once is not impossible but is highly unusual. Even one of these pathogens would make a patient extraordinarily ill. If I were performing PCR and got that many positives, I would 100% not release results until a consult with an infectious disease MD.

In that list, there are bloodborne bacteria and viruses, intestinal parasites, many of which have nothing to do with Lyme disease.

That last page is important. The source states "urine". There are virtually no PCR tests performed on urine currently because pathogens are not usually shed through urine and often urine is contaminated by urogenital flora. This is the ARUP tickborne PCR panel which details out which pathogens would be tested for and the type of sample they would need (blood). ARUP is a large reference lab in the US and performs some rare tests. Again, it's extremely unlikely to see that many pathogens positive in one sample.

All of this is to say, Miss ma'am Bella Hadid faked her hospital records by paying some quack guy for it and put it on IG for sympathy 😬💀💀

I have nothing against Bella, I think she's iconic but her spreading literal medical misinformation to millions of impressionable people who eat up her every word is absolutely dangerous, unprofessional and awful and I sincerely hope she's called out/exposed for it.

first of all, none of these words mean absolutely anything.

"energy is in proper balance" ??? "alkaline tissue pH"? ?? just say you dont have a medical degree and goooo

On this document it says the test was conducted by 'Manhattan Advanced Medicine'.

Here is an excerpt from Manhattan Advanced Medicine's LinkedIn page:

Do they sound like legitimate doctors to you?? They're just one of those scammy New Age-y alternate medicine places that rich people with money to blow, go to, so they feel better about themselves.

I sincerely hope Bella gets actual treatment for her real struggles with mental health/ED/potential substance issues etc and I hope she has the strength to admit to herself that she's using a fictional narrative to gain sympathy from others and as a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with her real problems. Bella grew up as the middle child and felt neglected by Yolanda pretty much, some say that the whole "chronic Lyme" has probably become the only bonding activity for the two of them and the only time Bella felt like she was loved by her mom (which is so sad) which is why she's been going on with it for 10yrs now. Whatever it may be, I hope they all get better.

Elizabeth Holmes- Shravana Sun

Many of you are probably already familiar with scammer Liz Holmes

She was founder and CEO of Theranos, a blood-testing company.

Prosecutors accused Holmes of intentionally misleading investors and patients. Out of the more than 200 blood tests advertised, the in-house “Edison” machines could perform a very small number themselves and could not provide accurate results. Holmes is also alleged to have lied about the scale of the company's profits. 

Two of the most striking examples of the Theranos machines’ faulty test results were two female patients. One of the women was diagnosed as HIV positive but the finding was refuted by further blood tests. A second woman who had suffered several miscarriages received test results from Theranos during her pregnancy which indicated that she had lost her baby once again. The test was faulty and she later gave birth to a healthy baby. Internal emails, however, revealed that the start-up concealed the erroneous results from investors and business partners by using a modified demo device or by partially hiding test results from them. 

The prosecution also presented a 55-page report in which Theranos officials added the logos of pharmaceutical companies GlaxoSmithKline, Pfizer and Schering-Plough to give the impression that they had approved the technology. However, a scientist employed by Pfizer testified that he found the start-up’s claims to be implausible and advised Pfizer not to collaborate. The prosecutors were able to show that Theranos had nevertheless sent the report with the subsequently inserted logos to investors and business partners. 

The interesting thing about Moon dominants and their manipulation is that unlike Saturn which is direct and in your face with how awful it is, Moon natives deceive and pretend. You will never realise the truth until you learn to look for it. With a Saturnian, you can always tell because they dont know how to hide it.

Moon does not have any light of its own. Moon also does not have a fixed form. Its waxing one day, waning the next. So it makes sense as to why these natives "manipulate" or "distort" the truth, since its kind of in their nature, to do so?

This brought me to an interesting observation of how Moon dominants seem to completely fall for pseudoscientific stuff. Bella, whom I already mentioned is one example but there are many more.

So, in Hinduism, the Moon God is named 'Soma' but the word 'Soma' is also used to refer to an intoxicating drink.

In the Vedas, the word Soma was actually primarily used for an intoxicating and energizing/healing plant drink and the deity could have received his name from the drink potentially?👀

The Hindu texts state that the Moon is lit and nourished by the Sun, and that it is Moon where the divine nectar of immortality resides.

In some Indian texts, Soma is the name of an apsara; alternatively it is the name of any medicinal concoction, or rice-water gruel, or heaven and sky, as well as the name of certain places of pilgrimage.

Whilst this connotation can explain their dizzying relationship with presenting the truth and how absolutely convinced they are of their own lies (Moon dominants manipulate others but are also easily manipulated tbh, they are both predator and prey). I think mythological backdrop also explains why so many Moon dominants are always kind of on the hunt for the elixir of life by adopting all kinds of New Age-y, holistic, spiritual 'alternative' medicine/lifestyle/treatment etc.

The thing is, there is truth to herbal remedies and holistic living but Moon dominants seldom pursue the truth of these practices, they always pick the weirdest, strangest stuff that absolutely helps no one and is most definitely a scam.

Gwyneth Paltrow- Hasta Sun & Mercury, Rohini Moon, Venus in Ashlesha atmakaraka

Lady Goop is a classic example of how Moon dominants can be very deluded with their "alternate" therapies/lifestyle. Moon dominants are easily confused and the path of wellness and spirituality is paved with many distractions to weed out the unworthy. Many get lost in this completely and mistake this Maya for the truth. Miss Gwyneth is one of them.

I have beef with this bc some of Goop's stuff is stupid but harmless (vagina candles, anyone?) but other times, she literally spreads dangerous medical advice to a very large audience (just like Bella).

On her website, she has an article about how to treat 'Candida' (a real condition which she has approached in a very pseudoscientific way). The symptoms, like Bella's, are vague, and include bloating, dandruff, sugar cravings, a bad memory and fatigue. Diagnosis includes something called a urine organix dysbiosis test (Bella's diagnosis also included a liver dysbiosis lmao) , while treatment involves limiting yourself to one piece of fruit a day and “overpowering the yeast” with anti-fungal supplements.

In 2017, Paltrow suggested women should insert a $66 egg shaped jade or rose quartz stone into their vagina to help “increase vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.” Users were encouraged to thread dental floss through a purpose-built hole to help with releasing the egg. After facing backlash from gynaecologists over its dubious health claims and potential harmful results including toxic shock syndrome, Goop settled a $145,000 lawsuit for “unsubstantiated” marketing claims.

In Daoist sexual teachings, this is actually a legit practice but a white woman appropriating it and then selling it does not sit right with me :// and also its to be used along with a strict spiritual practice and has to be performed according to proper techniques. Obviously eastern spirituality is suuuper commercialized in the west and its reduced to sticking jade eggs up inside you and misses the very important context and tradition its rooted in and also sticking factory produced and probably chemically treated anything INSIDE U, is not a good idea??

A 2018 detox guide recommended an at-home coffee enema kit to stimulate users’ intestines from the comfort of their own home. A couple of years later, while hooked up to a vitamin drip on The Art of Being Well podcast, Paltrow revealed she had also “used ozone therapy, rectally,” a procedure which involves pumping oxygen via catheter into the colon. Scientists immediately dismissed Paltrow’s health claims.

In 2017, Goop suggested that anyone who wanted to “rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies” should try placing Body Vibes stickers on their arms or near their heart. The site claimed the stickers ($120 for a pack of 24) were “made with the same conductive carbon material Nasa uses to line space suits so they can monitor an astronaut’s vitals”. A fact that was quickly debunked when Nasa confirmed that they “do not have any conductive carbon material lining the spacesuits.”

There's a lot more but I'll stop here for now. Gwyneth is convinced of the validity of her claims and does not see anything wrong with it. This is how Moon dominants are and thats what makes their manipulation so damaging.

Andrew Huberman- Rohini Moon

He is a neuroscientist and wellness podcaster called "Goop for bros".

His protocols for good living involve things like taking enormous amounts of expensive supplements, ensuring you view early morning sunlight for 10-30 minutes after waking, carefully timing when you drink coffee and plunging yourself in ice baths. (probiotics and supplements are a complete scam, there are studies proving they do absolutely nothing for u)

He has covered everything from creativity to hair loss and despite having no professional expertise on all the things he covers, he acts like he does lmao

Huberman was exposed for taking steroids to achieve his body while he was promoting "wellness" and telling people to take cold showers and work out and eat clean etc lmao. He also reportedly earned millions from running adverts for dietary products and wellness supplements.

He went from science expert to guru. He used to have discussions of how the brain and body respond to certain stimuli but later extended that to broad prescriptions for lifestyle and dietary modification which he is not qualified to do??

Last month he was exposed for having 5 different girlfriends who all thought they were in an exclusive relationship with him.

Sarah, says she was in a relationship with Huberman for around three years, and had been undergoing IVF treatment to have a child with him when she found he had been having unprotected sex with at least five other women at the same time.

Her suspicions were aroused when she contracted a high-risk form of HPV, a sexually transmitted infection linked to cervical cancer, despite having been tested for ten years.

Along with Sarah, others known only as Eve, Mary, Alex, and an unknown fifth and potentially sixth, were all romantically associated with him - some having been led to believe they were exclusive for years. All believed that other exes in Huberman’s life had been “stalkers, alcoholics, and compulsive liars” according to the report. (Moon dominants manipulating the truth to suit them)

“I’m at the stage of life where I truly want to build a family,” he told Eve while he was reportedly involved with several others. “That’s a resounding theme for me.”

Yet, despite the reassuring words he appeared to be chronically unreliable disappearing for extended periods of time with no indication of his whereabouts.

For a man interested in promoting personal growth, he also appeared to be unapologetic about deceiving his therapists, of which he has had several over the years.

“We were at dinner once and he told me something personal, and I suggested he talk to his therapist,” shared Eve. “He laughed it off like that wasn’t ever going to happen, so I asked him if he lied to his therapist. He told me he did all the time.”

Despite his dismissal of therapy, the podcaster appears to have maximised the use of “therapy-speak” to familiarise himself with the internal experiences of many women.

“I hear you are saying you are angry and hurt,” he texted Sarah as she discovered journal entries about his infidelity. “I will hear you as much and as long as needed for us.”

“Your feelings matter,” he told Eve on a day when he had injected his girlfriend Sarah with hCG as part of their IVF treatment. “I’m actually very much a caretaker.”

Discussing sex addiction with another woman, Huberman denied he was a sex addict instead referring to himself as a “love addict”.

On one day in March, the women realised that Huberman had flown Mary thousands of miles from Texas to LA to stay with him in Topanga, California, some six-hour drive from where Sarah stayed in Berkeley. On that same day, he left Mary at home with his dog as he drove to a coffee shop to meet Eve to have a serious conversation about their relationship.

Anywayyys, thats enough about him. He's a cheating, conniving, manipulative asshole.

Oprah Winfrey- Shravana Sun

Oprah has used her platform to air dangerous pseudoscience for decades.

In 2007, The Oprah Winfrey Show, the no. 1 talk show for 23 consecutive seasons, welcomed former Playboy model and MTV host Jenny McCarthy. 

The program gave McCarthy carte blanche to share a theory: that her son’s autism resulted from vaccines laced with hazardous chemicals. Despite a lack of concrete scientific evidence, McCarthy was lauded for her “warrior spirit” to speak up for other concerned moms. The lasting damage this has done to the country is concerning bc now it seems there are more antivaxxers than ever before.

The longest-reigning queen of daytime television promoted New Age scams, pushed unsustainable fad diets, and anointed problematic faith healers like John of God (now imprisoned) or pseudoscientific doctors like Dr. Oz. She sold us on magical thinking. 

Indeed, before the “Goop-ification of wellness,” there was the “Oprah-fication of medicine.”

In the ‘80s, Oprah helped fuel the satanic ritual abuse / repressed memories panic by interviewing folks like the author of the later-debunked memoir Michelle Remembers. In the ‘90s, she had “women’s health expert” Christiane Northrup—a quack physician who spewed nonsense like thyroid dysfunction stems from women not speaking up enough (an “energy blockage”), that love can heal AIDS, and mammograms aren’t safe—on her show 12 times. In the early aughts, she promoted the feel-good gibberish that is The Secret, insinuating positive thoughts were all that separated you from success, riches, and yes, even medical recoveries.

And remember when Oprah notoriously hosted Suzanne Somers in 2009? The actress touted injecting hormones directly into one’s vagina to stave off aging and menopausal hot flashes, along with downing 40 supplements daily.

Like Gwyneth and Huberman, Oprah sold pseudoscience to millions of people who didnt know any better to make hugeeee profits. I am pretty sure Bella will follow suit and also set up a vitamin supplement business in the near future and it will probably also be her downfall.

Song JiA- Shravana Moon

She became extremely popular after her appearance on the show Single's Inferno and there are hundreds of videos trying to analyse why all the men on that show went ape for her lol

But she was exposed for wearing fake designer stuff lmao?? Koreans be wilding

Her career came to a standstill after that and she hasn't done much since.

Agatha Christie, Hasta Moon & Mercury, Jupiter in Shravana in 1h

aside from the fact that she wrote murder mystery books that were known for misleading the reader (a more fun manifestation of Moon's tendency to manipulate?) she also had some other tendencies:

On the evening of Friday 3 December 1926, Agatha Christie left her home in Sunningdale, Berkshire, got into her car and disappeared into the night. Her disappearance sparked a manhunt involving the police, members of the public and famous figures and was lapped up by the tabloid press.

In the aftermath of Agatha’s disappearance both Archie Christie (her husband) and his mistress Nancy Neale were under suspicion and a huge manhunt was undertaken by thousands of policemen and eager volunteers. A local lake known as the Silent Pool was also dredged in case life had imitated art and Agatha had met the same fate of one of her unfortunate characters. Famous faces also waded in to the mystery with the then Home Secretary William Joynson-Hicks putting pressure on police to find the writer, and fellow mystery writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle seeking the help of a clairvoyant to find Agatha using one of her gloves as a guide.

She was found living at a hotel under the name Theresa Neale (yeah she used the mistresses' last name). She apparently did not recognise her husband when he went to see her at the hotel and they divorced not long after?

The nature of the Moon is ever shifting, watery , always projecting and I think its interesting how Agatha, who found out about the affair pulled that stunt to cope perhaps. I have noticed this with many Moon dominants, if they learn of something depressing, they will immediately distract themselves with something else and pretend that issue is more concerning??? Or they will pull a stunt and redirect everybody's attention there. They are veryyy image conscious, so this could be bc of that. After all, being remembered for her strange disappearance is better than being perceived as the woman he cheated on and left, I guess.

St Vincent- Hasta Sun & Mercury, Shravana Moon

This is kinda innocuous but she lied about being a Kate Bush fan lol??

What I mean by this is that she said two different things on Kate Bush and on how she was introduced. In 2007 she was interviewed with Pitchfork and said "this may sound really silly-- but I just discovered Kate Bush, probably six months ago, and I think she's so great. I know I'm very late to the party here [ laughs ], I know this is old news, but I got a Kate Bush record, and I forget-- I think "The Dreaming" is on it, though I'm spacing on the name of the record. [The Dreaming --Ed.] It has Kate Bush in this totally miraculous ascot, too, on the back [ laughs ]. She just went for it. It's so great. She totally went for it." (http://pitchfork.com/features/guest-lists/6680-st-vincent/)

Now that doesn't sound so bad on it's own, but in 2014 during the Kate Bush documentary she said a completely different story on how she got introduced to Kate Bush around 46:47 and said "I still remember going to the CD World and buying The Sensual World when I was sixteen. And the cover, there’s a rose in front of her mouth that has bloomed, she’s got big wide eyes. And I remember, you know, putting it in the shitty car stereo on the way home, and you know, my life was forever changed.” (https://youtu.be/c4sLwt8mhZs?t=46m49s)

Its the detailll thats giving Moon dominant manipulation lmao

Alfred Nobel- Shravana Moon

 He is known for inventing dynamite as well as having bequeathed his fortune to establish the Nobel Prize. So now no one remembers him for being the horrible man he was lol.

He made millions selling explosives and then decided to manipulate his legacy as that of a philanthropist.

Mahatma Gandhi- Hasta Sun, Ashlesha Moon

In 1903, when Gandhi was in South Africa, he wrote that white people there should be "the predominating race." He also said black people "are troublesome, very dirty and live like animals."

Gandhi championed women in politics. But he was also obsessed with his own celibacy. In his late 70s, before he died at 78, he slept naked with his grandniece when she was in her late teens. He said he wanted to test his willpower to abstain from sex.

Gandhi denied life saving treatment to his wife. She was in bed, extremely sick from pneumonia and he refused to let the doctors administer her with penicillin.

Instead of giving her the medicine, Gandhi decided to fill the room with followers who sang devotional songs, as per the book. The next day, on 22nd February 1944, Kasturba Gandhi died. He said, “’How God has tested my faith! ‘If I had allowed you to give her penicillin, it could not have saved her. But it would have meant bankruptcy of faith on my part… And she passed away in my lap! Could it be better? I am happy beyond measure.”

Going by the rigidness of Gandhi against modern medicine, one may think he had observed the same for himself and other associates. But the case was different. Interestingly, records show that he had undergone repeated medical tests and surgery throughout his life though Kasturba was denied penicillin.

Manu was Gandhi’s grandniece and was used by him as one of the participants in his so-called ‘experiments with celibacy’ where he used to sleep naked with girls and had naked girls bathe him. She was often seen with Gandhi, who used her and Abha, another grandniece, as support while walking.

Manuben’s diaries revealed that Gandhi used to control almost every aspect of her life, including food, education, sleeping, rest schedule, and even the clothes she wore. She even used to sleep in the same bed with him.

Moon dominants twist the truth as and when it suits them. They can be controlling, manipulative liars who parade around as virtuous, kind hearted and generous people. Most people on this list have a good reputation. This is the danger of Moon influence; very few people see the darkness that truly lurks within them.

Obviously this only applies to unevolved Lunar people<3

[anxious-acushla]

You ever read fic so good you’re like Wow, why do I even bother writing because nothing will ever be this wonderful? I’m not even self-deprecating. It was just very good. And nothing I write will ever be that good.

[princessofxianle]

yknow what i think needs to be talked about more...?

the fact that BOTH xie lian and hua cheng attempted suicide at one or more points in their lives...

HONG ER, in indescribable agony and anger at his kingdom... he INTENTIONALLY threw himself from the wall during the parade to try and end his life

he wanted his death to be seen, he wanted his tiny insignificant bug-sized existence to splatter across the sacred streets of the capital bc he was sad and angry that he was simply too weak, too small, too godsdamned insignificant to do anything about...

then...

XIE LIAN... at the height of his grief, losing his dream, his godhood, his friends, his sanity, his parents, HIS EVERYTHING... he hung himself with a silk-bandage noose wrapped so tightly around that it broke his fucking neck... and then he still hung there... in agony...

however...

hong er's life was spared bc he was caught... the crown prince of his kingdom took him from his worst moment and symbolically said "you matter" to a child who felt worthless... the person who arguably meant the most to xianle looked at HIM, a dirty piece of shit, and showed him that someone didn't want him to die

but xie lian, at the lowest point in his life, had given the fuck up... and yet the universe said "im not fucking done with you, this will continue and there's nothing you can do to stop it"... his life wasn't spared like an answer to a cry for help, it was spared like forever taking away the option of sleep from the prolonged, endless, torture of his life until being simply driven mad from the pain

xie lian was given NO hope

he only ever gave it himself

hua cheng wants xie lian to see the hope he was given because he knows how it feels to have given up, but then someone, xie lian, was there... that is the truest form of love hua cheng knows

and, simply bc he was the one who caught him, xie lian knows hua cheng has the capacity to understand (even if hc himself may not explicity know about xl's attempt)

like... if you've ever been suicidal its not a state of mind you can explain to someone else and have them get it if they havent themselves once been there

basically, i love hualian and they are so perfect for each other and the sexiest and most intimate thing someone can do is lay their guts on the floor for another to see and then have them look back and go "i understand... im sorry... and im here with you in it, through it, and after..."

ok im fucking done gnight friends love you all 😘

[multifandumbmeg]

How many times now have I said "I'm never opening Netflix again"? I love to just not take things too seriously and enjoy what I get when it comes to shows, all too often I've seen fans talk mad shit or abandon ship over perceived slights or minor infractions, but the past couple years I have been utterly gobsmacked by the egregious shit they have done. Incredible shows like Lockwood and Co getting cancelled after one season with zero explanation. Spin-off for Six of Crows being in massive demand, fucking stellar cast, COMPLETELY WRITTEN and then dropped. A multitude of multi-season shows taking a meteoric nosedive in writing quality that has me genuinely wondering, did they switch to AI for this?? Did they hire a wattoad teen from off the street??

Everyone's got their favorite cancelled show, but the recent trend of just absolutely sabotaging your most beloved shows on the way out instead of ending strong to keeping to ANY sort of character arcs or thematic consistency? Agonizingly heinous. If you saw my blog earlier this year you'll know how I felt about the final season of Umbrella Academy, one of the best shows the platform ever put out (viewers know. Not a soul was anything less than heartbroken, and it's rare to see universal opinions online) and today they crippled Outer Banks by writing off the most popular character- and in doing so the ship he was a part of- by killing him. A character once again (TUA reference, once again my fucking favorite ofc) who was abused in childhood, fucked over every moment in life until finally, finally having a chance at peace and then having it nonsensically ripped away for a completely devastating, unecessary, and thematically inappropriate to the show and arc reason. If they're trying to save their platform, they're sure as hell not gonna do it by annihilating every good thing they have.

And on a final note, the particular trend of taking abuse victim characters who have been nonstop shit on by life and then giving them equally tragic, miserable endings no matter what the earlier writers had clearly set up is so fucking disheartening, disrespectful, and dangerous. I can't recall one show they've put out that chose to tackle abuse, especially childhood abuse, that didn't end in a miserable person who was never able to meaningfully connect long term dying horribly. The message that sends to those of us who have actually experienced it- and are statistically prone to harming ourselves as a result- is that there is no hope. You are permanently broken. And sooner or later you will die a miserable death just like every moment you lived- there's no point. Why bother extending your suffering? Just get it over with. Meanwhile those responsible act like the response should be, "Oh yeah, and sad claps, how misfortunate. Just the way it goes I guess. We all love a good tragedy 😘". No. We don't. We are tired of it. We are exhausted. Society and reality fucking sucks right now, we don't need every single bit of media, regardless of tone or themes, to be "gritty" with its most vulnerable and beloved characters.

It's painful, it's personal, and it's not even a good business model! People love these characters BECAUSE we're rooting for them!! We want to see them win after all the suffering!! To remind us in our real lives it is possible, and life is worth it!!

[berryberrytaeberry]

In the venn diagram that is Taylor Swift Evermore fans and mdzs Jiang Cheng apologists, I am probably the only person in the small overlapping center.

But oh well.

In this essay, I will explain why the bridge to Marjorie is Chengxian & (EDIT: fun fact, apparently Chengxian is a romantic only thing which i did not intend oopsie) Jiang Cheng pov coded because I think about it Every. Waking. Moment. Istfg.

The autumn chill that wakes me up

You loved the amber skies so much

The change of the seasons from summer to fall reminding JC of WWX is a cool motif imo. The leaves changing from green to brown and the skies darkening evokes the feeling of WWX's ghost cultivation tarnishing the cultivation world, but in a way that JC ultimately knows deep down is beautiful in its own way. WWX's birthday is also in October. This is also how we know the song isn't about Yanli--easy mistake, I know.

Long limbs and frozen swims

You'd always go past where our feet could touch

Swimming in lotus pier. JC is remembering WWX in the present (fall), where everything is dying, but summer activities like swimming remind him of his brother too. WWX would drag JC into the freezing water even in October. They were children, long limbed and gangly, and WWX would always swim further than was safe. Always attempting the impossible where JC wouldn't.

And I complained the whole way there

The car ride back and up the stairs

JC, my babygirl, my favorite complainer, my favorite well-meaning, grump you 😘❤️

I should've asked you questions

I should've asked you how to be

Asked you to write it down for me

And then the regret and guilt starts to creep in. JC hasn't acknowledged that he wishes WWX was still here yet, but there's a level of repressed admiration that chokes him. How did WWX do it all? Why isn't JC more like him? What rulebook for success did WWX follow when WWX never followed any rules? Why wasn't JC enough? All these thoughts race through his head.

Should've kept every grocery store receipt

'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

Watched as you signed your name Marjorie

Now, JC admits to grieving. He wishes he even had the smallest of scraps of his brother but it was ALL taken away from him. His whole family, his home, his authenticity. His kindness. This is why he holds so tight onto Chenqing for all those years. It's his last scrap of WWX (that he knows of). Unwittingly, the golden core within him, haunts him. His brother's veritable soul is IN him, and yet he's chasing the minutia of the simplicity of WWX writing his name.

All your closets of backlogged dreams

And how you left them all to me

Now, JC admits to the BURDEN of his grief. WWXs hidden dreams: a family, cultivation power, love, are all left to JC, and JC feels inadequate in all of them. But he will do it. He will do it. He will lose himself along the way. And he will never find his old self again. But he will yearn for his brother.

What died didn't stay dead

What died didn't stay dead

You're alive, you're alive in my head

JC will see WWX in Jin Lings face. In the way the water ripples across the pier. Every time he tastes lotus root soup and remembers who he used to share it with. It will drive him mad.

What died didn't stay dead

What died didn't stay dead

You're alive, so alive

WWX is resurrected. He didn't die. Why couldn't he just stay dead? JC had everything under control (lies). WWX is alive SO ALIVE and JC can't bear it. JC gave up on getting his brother back a decade ago

And if I didn't know better

I'd think you were singing to me now

But wasn't life with WWX good, for all the annoyances it brought? Wasn't the sound of his flute peaceful? *clenches fist around chenqing* The goddamned flute *throws flute across room* Thank god it's not broken. MXY is his brother. JC has never been more sure about anything.

If I didn't know better

I'd think you were still around

I know better

But I still feel you all around

I know better

But you're still around

Simultaneously, and paradoxically, JC convinces himself that he knows better, that it couldn't be true, none of these reveries and realizations matter because WWX is dead.

But he's not.

Dead, or alive, WWX is still around. His resurrection changes nothing and never will GAH-- THE ANGST OF IT ALL!!!

[ghostsandfools]

Ghost's one sentence opinions on every tsams/laes character (that I care enough for to have opinions about)

Sun - She deserves so much more.

Moon - Ehhh.....

Nexus - He's a little dumb.

Lunar - I have WAY too many feelings about him.

Earth - I want a hug.... :(

Montgomery - I want to shoot them.

Gemini - I'm so so so so so so so normal about them, I swear, I swear I don't wanna make out with them and cuddle them and play with their hair I swear to GOD-

Nebula - She's so sassy, but also she's so adorable!

Rez - 🥺💞❤️👉👈✨😫🥰😘🫣🤭🫦👀💋🍑🌶️🌹🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🪐

Taurus - I wanna explain all of the FNAF lore to him.

Leo - I want him to be Italian.

Eclipse (the current one, I didn't know much about the other three) - He's fine, I like his dynamic with Earth, I don't have many feelings about him.

Solar - He is me in the show, I genuinely just see myself every time I look at him.

Bloodmoon - I don't like how the show insists he's evil in every dimension, dimensions should theoretically be infinite with an infinite amount of possibilities, and as much as I hate Bloodmoon, it is genuinely impossible for there to not be a nice one SOMEWHERE.

Ruin - He is NOT morally gray, he is a lot less redeemable than everyone makes it seem.

Dark Sun - Genuinely zero feelings towards him whatsoever.

KC - I wish he was my dad :(

Dazzle - They're so adorableeeeeeeeeee

Jack - It reminds me of my cousin, I love its dynamic with Dazzle, it's just adorable.

Puppet - Morally Gray Mommy <3

Foxy - I understand him so much. I don't like all of the choices he's made, but I get it man.

FC - Little guy :D

Solar Flare - ????????

Spaniard - I'm so mad that they just killed it off, it didn't even get its own death episode, they just glossed over it, WHAT THE FUCK.

Goliath - Okay I know he only showed up in like one episode so he could kill Spaniard and then dip, but he gives off serious himbo vibes, imagine if they reprogrammed him to be nice and he just goofed off in the background-

Creator - :(

Trashcan Man - I know nothing about him except for the fact that he's Creator's husband

Molten - I wanna like him, really, I do, but he's just so boring...

Lunara - PLEASE I NEED THEM TO BE A PERMANENT VILLAIN LIKE DARK SUN, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

World President Earth - I need her to team up with Lunara, I'LL DIE WITHOUT IT!

Lord Eclipse - Kinda fucking ugly tbh

Sven - YES.

That one overworked employee who was at the restaurant Sun and Moon went to and who sold Daisy to Earth - Most. Underrated. TSBS. Character. EVER.

Feel free to reblog with your own opinions on the characters, even if it's characters from one of the other shows, I'm curious what y'all thinkkkk

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 46

chapter 70:

1. “And now the furniture is covered in dust, the books haven't been touched, the flowers are dead, the food has spoiled, and all the little pieces of himself from before feel foreign to him, like they're from a complete stranger.”

why did i blindly hope that crimson rivers couldn’t get more sad??

2. “Regulus couldn't have imagined it, then. Barty dying. Being dead. He was safe, aged out from reapings, and he would have made it if the war hadn't taken him.”

i want to gnaw on something. this is driving me crazy. i need to go eat dirt oh my god

3. every time i briefly forget about evan in this fic, his name is name dropped like a fucking bomb from the sky and i literally want to break a window

4. “And then there's Sirius, who barely knows what to do with his own pain, struggling to balance it, like he's not allowed to have it, feeling like an imposter for simply daring to grieve a man who wasn't his father as a father, as if that man didn't love him as a son.” the monty and sirius bond are still making me cry, actually

5. “I know I will be dead long before you read this,”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

once again, had to voice memo my freind

6. welcome back to another round of lily vs the fridge

7. mary: you love dorcas

lily: NOOO!!! only you babes 😘

mary: fucking dumbass

8. idk how to explain it, but i’m glad that mary and lily (and dorcas and marlene) had such complex relationships. they weren’t just the badass lesbians who had it all together and had a perfect relationship that scoffed at the silly boys. they love just as hard and fumble just as hard. their relationships are far from perfect and are very messy. i love it

9. “His dad watched these flowers bloom.

His dad never saw them die.”

*eye twitch*

10. maybe i shouldn’t blame dorcas, but i’m kinda pissed at her for not showing up to marlene’s funeral

11. “Barty got a funeral, too. Regulus planned that one, and you could tell, because it was done so delicately.”

screaming crying throwing up

what if i never spoke again? as like some sort of stupid protest? as like a statement to show how upset i am over bartys death? huh?? what would you do then bizzarestars????? huh?????????

12. “Vanity got honored as a war hero in the Hallow, a statue raised in her honor on the castle grounds, replacing Riddle's legacy.” i’m actually losing my mind. i want to shovel grass in my mouth and chew stained glass. idk or drink a latte or something

13. bro i’m so mad that sirius was 100% right about how james wouldn’t grieve around him, always wanting to take care of sirius, which is why he has to leave. i’m so mad. i’m so mad. this is gonna hurt

14. “”Fucking hell, James, we're still in love, so calm down. It's—it's not an actual breakup, you know."” -sirius

😭😭😭 they’re such soulmates omg

15. oh god it hurt more than i thought. james thought sirius was about to break the news about remus leaving. not sirius leaving. james never once considered that sirius would leave

16. SNSKDNJSNSMSKSM THEYRE KISSING YAY OMG JEGULUS KISSS OMGGG AFTER LITERALLY TWO MONTHS THEYRE KISSING AGAIN

chapter 71:

1. “[Regulus] is such a sweet boy, and yes, yes, [Effie] has seen him murder, but that matters very little to her, overall” me talking about my favorite characters 🥰

2. wolfstar

currently wanting to gnaw through concrete and plywood over them

3. “Remus also calls Lily every day. They're more discreet about it, not practically confessing their love and trying to make out through the screen the way James and Sirius do”

remus: this is my boyfreind sirius, and that’s my boyfreind’s boyfreind, james ♥️

4. remus thinking of sirius as a helicopter parent towards regulus has me in fucking tears omg that’s so funny

5. “That's the first time they have sex after the war, when Remus tells Sirius how he made Riddle pay for all that he'd done.”

idk, but that’s not the sentence i was expecting

6. 😭😭😭 remus realizing that lyall never liked any of his ex boyfreinds, and the fact that he approves of sirius, the murderer, is laughable

7. jealous sirius kissing remus within an inch of his life 😭😭😭

8. “It's no secret that Sirius likes the hickies, but it's not just him; the truth is, the only thing Remus likes more than getting to put them there is getting to see them there.”

uhhh um uhhhhh hot

9. 👀 they getting nasty

10. james being a teacher >>>>>>>>>>>

11. what are sirius and regulus gonna get up to?

12. it’s heartbreaking that lily and mary have to raise bingley. on one hand, it’s domestic and it’s their little family. on the other hand, they never should have had to do this. lily cooks and tucks him into bed and raises him. but she’s not his mom. and mary raises bingley. but she’s not his mom. and it’s so scary to navigate this

13. THE BAGELS

14. james’ knife kink >>>>>>>>>

15. omg i’m a blubbering mess. they have a home together!!!

16. hello!???? they’re dancing together????? in their home?????? what if i burst into tears?????

17. AWWWWW JAMES PROPOSED AGAIN

18. please please please please tell me we get a marriage chapter