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lo-55 · 4 years

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Revel Ch. 8

Rancorous Relationships

This was the part that Tori was not looking forward to.

The sun was warm on her back, heating the thin blue cloth of her short sleeved shirt and warming her black pants, so thick they looked like a skirt. Even for fighting she was dressed to draw the eye, to look the lady with a thin rapier in hand and her hair piled high and tight.

Gemma, ever the rebel, stood before her in plain fatigues. There was a broad sword in her hand, contrary to the thin rapier that rested familiarly in Tori’s. She hadn’t held it since before the wedding. She could already feel the familiar grip, the way it pulled at her delicate skin.

She had only a few minutes to win.

They stood in the courtyard, with only a small audience. Tori was thankful that he husband and Brulee weren’t a part of it. She didn’t want them to see this sight.

Gemma made the first move. She always did. The long tip of the halbird lashed out, sweeping by Tori’s head as she stepped to the side. She was light on her feet, graceful and quickly, and she managed to doge Gemma’s attacks for a time.

The younger princess chased her across the yard, cornering her until she was forced to block and parry. Gemma had her on the ropes from the start, forcing her around the yard until she had to fight back. She swung her sword, twisting out of the way of another sweep of Gemma’s. She thrust, getting within inches of stabbing Gemma in the stomach before she was forced backwards again by a shining streak of metal. Their weapons may have been dulled for the practice yard, but to be hit would still hurt.

Tori knew well from her own experience.

Gemma was stronger than her. Her hits were harder, leaving Tori’s hands tingling with each block.

Tori spun to the side, avoiding when Gemma brought the flat end of her spear up to smack Tori in the chin. She kept many of the same tactics. Some things never changed.

Tori felt like she managed to keep up for longer than usual. Something in her spurned her on, and even when her palms started to burn with the friction of sword play she stayed true, arching out of the way and slice in at Gemma’s powerful defence.

Gemma was stronger of the pair. She was stronger of the all the Imperian royal family, and all of the military too. She hadn’t gotten where she was on nepotism. Her sister was a vaunted warrior, and when she attacked it was hard enough to make Tori’s ears ring.

Rapiers were no good for real blocking. The blades were small and thin and against something like a broadsword they’d just as likely be damaged as hold steady. So Tori coudln’t really block. She could deflect, change the rate of momentum and the angles into something that suited her better.

In the end, the whole world was angles, force, acceleration, friction, inertia. Math.

She could see it in her mind’s eye. The curves of the blade, the speed they moved at, the angles she needed to work with and move around and alter for herself.

She could see the way Gemma set her feet, moved on her heels, lifted to her toes. She could see how close her elbows were to her ribs, how her shoulders bunched and curved.

She could see where Gemma was going to strike.

Tori was startled by a strang, foreign fire in her ribs. It burned through them, etching unto the bones her will.

She pushed back.

Gemma was forced to take a step or risk being cut above her eye. They flashed, darker than Tori’s own. Tori had never put up much of a fight. She didn’t see a reason to. Let Gemma be the general, the warrior, the fatale one. Tori was pretty, just pretty, and that was enough.

The ache in her ribs disagreed.

Tori ducked a sweep of a spear, dropping down to kick Gemma in the foot in the talus. Her sister stumbled, tried to stab down where Tori had been and knock her aside but for one Tori twisted away, was up before she could be struck, and thrust the dull point under Gemma’s arm.

It pricked her shirt, where the seams kept the sleeves. If Tori had really been trying to kill her it would have pierced through her arm pit, and Gemma would have died.

Instead, Gemma lunged backwards, bringing her spear between them to knock Tori’s long blade away, and that was the final push to end the fight.

Blood dripped from Tori’s rapier.

She lifted her left hand, above her head, and announced, “I give up.”

Gemma was staring at her like she was some alien life form, while her handmaids converged on her like a tidal wave. Aelia took away her sword to be cleaned and set aside while Daria and Flora took hold of her hand. Madelle stood back at the edge, making four of her six handmaidens. There was a strange look in her pretty blue eyes. She, too, watched Tori as thought she was something new and interesting.

Tori’s skin crawled and she felt sick with the attention.

Daria prodded her sword hand, bleeding now with broken blisters and missing skin. It would heal within the week, and there wouldn’t be any scars to show that she had been injured in the first place. She knew this, they all did. It was not the first time it had happened.

It always happened. She had to end fights fast or the friction would rip her skin from her muscles, destroy the precious fascia that held her body together.

Tori let herself be escorted away, back inside. The fire in her ribs ebbed away until it was but an ember left and Tori had to wonder, what had come over her?

The night was dark, but it held no terrors for her.

The darkness hung around her like a cloak, familiar. Warm, was not a word she normally used to describe the night, but with a massive body sharing the bed with her it felt apt now. Tori soaked in the heat for a long time, awakened by the panging in her injured hand. She didn’t want to wake Katakuri. He’d been so on edge ever since they’d come to her home. He’d been on edge since their wedding night.

Tori wished she could set him at ease, but she didnt know how.

She wanted to tell him that he didn;t need to hide so much from her. She already knew . Buth that involved too much exposition for her to say. She wasn’t willing to tell all that she knew. She wanted to unwind his scarf and see his face and-

And what?

Tori let out a soft breath.

She sounded like a child. Wishes and wants, she was so spoiled.

There was an ache in her heart. She had wished, quietly, privately, and so very desperately for something out of this match. Something she had never had, and never would here.

The silly wishes of a child when she was a woman grown.

Tori held many secrets. She held the secrets of her mind, she held the secrets of her soul, and she held the secret of her heart, too.

Her hand ached.

Tori sat up in the darkness. She didn’t light a lamp, staying true to her promise. She did slid out of the bed quietly onto the floor, barefoot and quiet. Her night gown hung around her in a shapeless mass and she moved across the floor like a phantom. She fumbled with the doorknob only a moment before slipping into the next room.

Attached to her royal apartments were three rooms. A dressing room, a bathroom, and her closet. It was the dressing room that she entered.

Only when she was securely inside did she light a lamp. Madelle lept the first aid kit elsewhere, but Tori didn’t need the whole thing. She only needed what she knew to be in her go bag.

She, her sister and her brother had always been raised to be ready to leave if need be. They had hidden passages and mapped escape routes, and all of them had bags ready to go. Bags with money, food, water, plain clothes, and medicine. It was from this that Tori took a small jar and new strips of bandages.

Her dressing room, for some reason, had a window and a window box that let in scattered moonlight when she drew back the curtains.

This high up, she could only barely see the sea, black in the night in the distance. More than that she could see the greenery of her home, the late nearby, and the rest of the palace spread about.

The sight is familiar but the darkness warps everything, shadows cloaking the world around her.

Tori looks up when something moves to her side. Out of the other room comes the towering form of Katakuri. There was a light on behind him that cast long shadows across his face. Tori repressed a grimace. She’d been trying to ensure that he stayed asleep. And she had failed.

Katakuri looked her over, his eyes stopping on her hand. They shot upwards.

“You’re injured,” he said. She swore she could hear a frown. Katakuri had gotten his scarf wrapped around his face but it was low, low enough that she could see more of his scars than normal. She said nothing about it.

“It’s nothing,” she shook her head. She had done it so many times in her life, she knew how to take care of burst blisters. This was just a side effect of her ‘blessing’ or whatever one might call it.

Katakuri can to her side. He knelt down until he was level with her and she saw his hands move towards her before they aborted the mission. His eyes flickered to her face. Tori felt a smile cross her lips, unbound by falcities. It felt so strange, not to have her face hidden behind make up or her hair pinned elaborately. Liberating, perhaps.

She offered him her injured hand.

He took it, carefully, peeling away the old bandages with practice that told her that she was not the only person here with practice patching wounds. They fell to the floor, revealing the damage beneath. Fluid leaked out from where the skin had torn away and gaped now. Tori knew, consciously, that the best way to heal blisters was to push the skin back down and leave it there, even after they had opened. But she had never grown out of the childish habit of ripping the skin right off. It’s not like it would scar, and infections were easy to combat. But, from the furrow in Katakuri’s brows and the twist in his cheeks, it was likely he agreed with Madelle’s futile scoldings that she needed to cut it out.

“What happened?” he asked. Tori felt her cheeks heat. Katakuri was a vaunted warrior. She didn’t want to tell him she had lost a fight so pitifully to her younger sister.

“They’re just friction blisters. They will heal,” she assured. It felt nice, to have his hand encompassing hers.

“You didn’t tell me you were hurt.” He didn’t sound annoyed. Something else. She didn’t know what to call it. She looked at their hands instead of his deep eyes. His were so much larger than her, calloused and hardened from work. Scars crossed silver across palms and fingers.

“It’s barely anything,” she assured. Her smile grew with his concern. It felt… nice. “ I was just changing the bandages. I didn’t want to wake you,” she told him quietly.

Without asking her Katakuri reached for the small jar of antibiotics. Tori watched him spread it across her palm and carefully replaced the bandages he had removed.

His quiet voice surprised her.

“You can tell me things. You know.”

She didn’t know. But it made her feel strangely light to be told. When her hand was wrapped she turned it over to grasp a hold of his, smiling up at him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. We should go back to bed, don’t you think?” she stood, still holding his hand.

“Victoria,” it was the first time she had ever heard his name pass from his mouth. It hummed beneath her skin, echoing around them in the small space. She squeezed his hands.

“Tori,” she said quietly. “You can call me Tori.”

He nodded, slowly, and the pair of them went back to bed. Tori shut out the lights and waited for Katakuri to finish taking his scarf back off. When he laid down, she sunk into the bed next to him and took his hand once more under the blankets. He stiffened at first before relaxing again under her soft touch.

“You know,” she began, quietly. “You don’t have to hide your face from me, if you don’t want to.”

She was pleased when he did not tense up once more or try to leave. Nonetheless he shook his head, no more than a vague movement in the darkness and the hush of his cheeks on the pillow.Tori didn’t press the issue. It would come, in time.

She closed her eyes and let sleep wash over her, hand in hand with her husband.

#one piece #one piece fanfiction #katakuri #charlotte Katakuri #katakuri x oc #oc #victoria di Imperia

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im-fairly-whitty · 6 years

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:0 I thought I was the only one who liked Hans! I see so many people hating on him and I always have this quiet "I like him o,o'...."

YOU ARE NOT ALONE FRIEND

He’s really such a sweetheart who was done so dirty by the production crew, it’s so easy to see how badly his character’s arc was manhandled off track and it’s painful.

Not only does he have a love at first sight moment, a lovable animal companion, and a tragic backstory that he’s worked hard to overcome, but he’s actually incredibly capable and kind and thoughtful for the entire movie until he just…isn’t. For literally no reason other than unskilled plot doctoring.

As the youngest of thirteen Hans not only has endured an intense amount of hazing and bullying (pretending your sibling doesn't exist for an hour is normal, pretending they don’t exist for a week is not) but he’s come out on the other side far more socially adept than Anna (who was only ignored by one sibling).

He’s put together, well groomed, well spoken, friendly and kind and courteous. Not to mention that when he arrives in Arendale he is so love-starved that he falls head over heels for Anna in the exact same way that a dozen movie princes have over the years. The difference is that they actually have real chemistry, real political reason to be married (both being the youngest of a dysfunctional royal family) and have shared childhood trauma that put them both in a place of needing someone who literally even sees them and cares about them as a person.

I’m not saying that it was necessarily a good thing for them to try and get married immediately, but it was very believable given their shared trauma and socio-political standing.

Then once Elsa has an anxiety attack and books it for literally no reason, leaving her own court in a panic, it’s Hans that steps up to support Anna in barking down the Duke of Weselton to put him (diplomatically) in his place. He steps into the role of leader flawlessly even though his own experience of leading must have been limited due to his intensely overshadowed upbringing, but he rises to the occasion, organizing welfare and disaster relief efforts and holding down the fort at his pseudo-fiancee’s request.

When he later is in Elsa’s tantrum palace he deliberately tries to keep her safe, trying to talk her down instead of charging her like some of the other diplomats.

If it was really in his character to be the villain then he would have been much more manipulative around Anna during the party, would have pushed much harder against Elsa’s refusal, would have helped whip the crowd into a frenzy at her display like the Duke of Weselton, would have started digging his claws into the kingdom as soon as Anna left him in charge, and certainly would have tried to kill Elsa in her ice palace while she was vulnerable and outnumbered since she was clearly and obstacle in his way.

BUT HE DIDNT.

HE DIDNT DO ANY OF THAT.

If he had done any of that it would have made sense when he suddenly did a 180 to “surprise! I was the bad guy all along muahaha!!” But he didn’t. Not only is he the perfect royal gentlemen around Anna and the court, but he even acts kind and thoughtful and brave when none of the other characters are around.

His villainous reveal when he suddenly spurns Anna is surprising, but the reason it’s so surprising is because it’s not a plot twist, it’s a character break. It’s unexpected because the rest of the story has absolutely nothing to do with or support this sudden catastrophic break in character, meaning that it’s not the magician’s reveal that leaves the viewer gasping with awe.

It’s bad writing.

After he abandons Anna to freeze to death (which doesn’t make sense either, it would have been much smarter to try and help her and at the very least keep her around to be able to eventually produce legitimate heirs to the throne instead of monologuing for literally no reason) his character is completely different, suddenly becoming a hand rubbing mustache-twirling baddie with no believable build up or motivation that doesn’t feel two dimensional.

All so that the real villain of the movie could be rebranded to a sniffly anxiety-ridden hikikomori who uses gloves as a security blanket and still seems to care about and love her sister for some reason despite having deliberately not even spoken to her at all in over a decade despite living in the same castle.

(I mean seriously, if you think about it the real magic of being a Disney princess is having even a shred of social skills after being trapped in social isolation for the majority of your life.)

TL;DR - Hans was a perfectly lovely character who got backed over by the rebranding semi truck and deserved better, he’s a completely separate character on either side of the “plot twist” scene with no logical character development. He could have been played off as a villain if his character portrayal has been written better but they ended up depriving him even of that, leaving his arc flat and confusing and out of character.

And instead we were given a fairly useless victim of childhood troll abduction who gets one ukelele solo and a new sled in exchange for sassing Anna the whole movie and deciding to marry her after one day, literally hours after lecturing her for being ready to do the same with another man. He doesn’t even do anything in plot, not even managing a true loves kiss, reducing his character potential to Anna’s one-star uber driver up the mountain to her sister’s ice cube condo.

All these characters deserved better arcs and better writing, and there are good things in the movie, but the blatant manhandling of Han’s character is terrible writing that I will be salty about for approximately ever.

#hans #frozen #anna #elsa #kristoff #meta #i have nothing against the characters in story #but from a story telling perspective this movie is a mess

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tumblunni · 5 years

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Current biggest priority as soon as i get my computer and internet all sorted out

Make a meme

Some guy: bunni can we listen to something else besides Yokai Watch Vs Mckraken Final Boss Part 2

And then i throw them out a window

Srsly guys i have now spoiled myself on all the final boss songs for all the games and this is still the best and most climactically badass one like srsly they never brought back the whole 'seagues into a remix of the main theme tune when you kick his ass' thing?? Im like already preemptively trying to plan out actual heavy rock songs i could do amvs to cos im pretty sure nothing else could top this goddamn squidman's grand tune

Oh but also i do still like game 2 grandma's song, it just doesnt have that same 'here have a sense of the character's personality and entire storyline despite the fact youve never seen them AND ALSO a big pile of giant headcanons". Instead this gran's song just feels more like her fight is gonna be like.. Fun? Its a song that says 'wow we had so much fun making this boss and its gonna be spectacular' but like in a gameplay way instead of story. Which is weird cos apparantly mckraken has the least story of all the villains so the song is kinda wasted on him, alas!

Also ive heard a lot about the villains of yw3 but i still know NOTHING about the yw2 ones? Except that theyre this group of colour coordinated funky kimono people led by The Powerful Grandmas, and i am already preemptively excited for grandmas but i can find NOTHING about them! Who are they and what is even the plot??

So just to throw out that my brain's random theory/headcanon so far just based on their designs and knowing that SOMETHING happens where you time travel and team up with your own grandpa. To fight these grandmas?? I dont even know if theyre related tl the time travel plot or if thats just a random sidequest or something.

SO THE THOUGHT!!

First off i think its a shame that even tho you have different designs for the grandpa based on which protagonist you picked, you dont get a grandma instead if you pick the girl. I WANT TO TEAM UP WITH GRANDMA TO DEFEAT GRANDMAS AAAAAAA!!! The Ultimate In Gameplay

So then i got started thinking about headcanon personality for my oc's grandma and i got the odd idea that maybe the kimono yokai crew has very personal reasons to be fighting you? What if Mallory's grandma actually was a very flawed person and she has to face the fact that she's been blindly idolizing someone who died before she was born and hoping she was better than her trash parents but maybe she really isnt. And this horrible realization comes via time travel so its all extra crushing! I wasnt necessarily thinking that gran is actually a villain or an abusive family member or anytjing, more like she just USED TO be awful and eventually developed out of it and spent the rest of her life trying to atone. Cos you time travel to meet her kid self and it turns out that she's actually a really stuck up asshole bully who's using the yokai watch for all the wrong reasons. Maybe she could be a shadow archetype to mallory cos she's also a kid with abusive parents and few friends but she reflects all the bad choices mallory could have made? When gran got the yokai watch she just saw yokai more as toys than friends, and forced them to entertain her, take revenge against people, make her famous, etc etc. Like she spurned the chance to make actual friends with people who cared about her, because she was already so far gone into cynicism that she felt that nobody really cared about each other and all you can do is cling onto whatever power you can find and use it to temporarily kill the loneliness for a moment. Even if it means stomping other people back down into depression in the process!

So yeah in this plotline the wicked tribe kimono yokau villain guys would just be.. Gran's team from when she was the watchholder. They used to be innocent nice yokai who just wanted to be this kid's friend but she used them for her own selfishness and abandoned them when she didnt need them anymore. And this left them vunerable to being manipulated into joining the evil grandmas group centuries later cos they had a very damn justified reason to believe humans are evil! And now mallory has to help fix the mistakes of her ancestor and maybe be able to redeem these dudes cos theyre not really evil, just hurting

Also maybe could verbally bitchslap time travel gran for her selfishness and prove her wrong? Thus setting in motion a self perpetuating time loop where meeting her future grandkid made her realise she was the bad guy, leading to years of atoning which would lead to becoming an actual good grandma and having this grandkid. And possibly a mega sad moment of meeting her ghost and her getting to finally see her childhood yokai again and apologise for all the pain she'd given them.

So yeh basically grandma is gary oak rival type and all the cool dudes are become catchable now and i gib them the friendship they deserve. THEY LOOK SO COOL I WANT THEM TO BE REDEEMABLE YO!!! Also especially the twin grandmas of gold and silver, like why wouod you even create such a cool thing and waste it on being the not good? No the true grandma villain will be human gran and i will hug away all the torment in your soul!!!!

But seriously i know NOTHING about what this game's plot actually is so its probably quite likely this headcanonverse wouldbt really work :/ oh well :/

#bunni plays yokai watch

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nyruratchet · 6 years

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Notes 4 - The Morning After

“People. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

There are pills for straight couples to avoid pregnancy after a few moments of bliss, there are pills to help people stay safe from contracting HIV, there are pills to recorrect the chemical imbalance for people struggling with mental issues; there are pills for EVERYTHING, but no one has derived a magical pill to fix the pain one feels when forced to wake up the morning after valentine’s day alone.

Actually, this problem doesn’t just exist on Valentine’s day. But, seeing as how I’m perpetually single, I can attest to the fact that this day is the most painful (all other holidays come second). Just yesterday, someone asked a question, “yall fall in love with niggas y’all meet on apps??”

My response: Honestly, what are the other options? This is a legitimate question...

Him: Go meet someone in real life...apps aren’t real life! You don’t know that nigga til u see him. In real life, u see everything you as over and over on the app.

Me: You do (meet them), but those are the same guys on the apps. And no one gives you the time of day at bars, events, etc. So, ur stuck with friends of friends, coworkers (nope) and apps...really (WTF?)

Him: Idk who y’all meeting but niggs stay tryin to see wassup on the low when I’m out...especially the damn gym!

Now, I then had to check him and remind him that, just because YOU are so attractive and have thousands of followers that men just flock to you, THAT IS NOT the average gay man’s reality. Just recently a black man on Grindr says he doesn’t like black men. Only whites and latinos. Yep, this is the world I live in. So when you all think I’m crazy to think I’m not in someone’s league, please know there are factors in the chess game that I’m aware of that you have NO CLUE about. Being the darker brother in the gay community is not easy and constantly I am made to feel like I’m not worthy of inclusion in it. Being dark is not acceptable. Nor is being skinny. Nor is not having a BBC (which is all anyone seems to value from us). Nor is being open to love; I’ve been faulted way too many times for that tbh. Almost as many times as I’ve been skinny-shamed or considered fem. Guys in our community are looking more for TS girls than black men. Period. I see “girls” on Grindr far too much. THERE, I said what I said. Grindr’s way of dealing with this influx...ask me to list myself as a CIS man. NO THE FUCK I WILL NOT! I’m a man. These labels are too much. can’t meet men in bars or apps or work. So, let me know...HOW?

To lose my virginity I had to get on craigslist and whore myself out like a rentboy (no money involved) only to get this catfish older man to respond. I was 21 years old and saw this as my only chance before moving to NY. Guys throughout my life up until this point (as i wrote about in my last post) had been ignoring me. I was invisible in the world of gay sex. I might as well have been a eunuch or a monk. I was always the “friend”...still am. So, I took this less then adequate gentleman and let him penetrate me for the first time; give me my first kiss (yuck, it was awful); and teach me a few things. I thought, after this, I’ll never have to settle for less than I deserve...BOY was I wrong.

Back to the part about me being invisible for a moment. Throughout high school, people knew I was gay. I told a few guys and expressed interest and they paid me no attention. COME TO FIND OUT, my (at the time good) friend Jonathan, had slept with a quite a few of them. (Backstory, I fell for Jonathan, he spurned me too, we became great friends, he then transitioned into being a woman, and now we don’t really talk). So, When I found this out, I was devastated. TO THIS DAY, I will never understand why I was not enough. I was SOOOOO nice to these guys. Dustin used to get picked on in middle school, and I used to stand up for him. Nick was the most beautiful boy in the world in high school with a smile that could like up the darkest soul and I would always root for him, etc. But, I wasn’t who they wanted. I mean, You think I’m a good guy now, you should have known me back then. I was such a kind spirit. My soul is so dark now and I don’t think that will ever be rectified.

These next instances are the reasons I will never be untainted. THESE STORIES ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. If you don’t want to cry, feel sorry for me, or worry, stop reading now.

I have been abused mentally, physically, and emotionally. These stories are in sequential order.

When I was traveling once, I was drinking and felt like fulling one of my fantasies. I don’t remember why, but i know that I hadn’t been touched in a WHILE. And for a person who needs that, just a moment where someone can use you to “get off” is enough to make it through the night. One fantasy that is very popular in the gay community of being fucked by visitor who comes in the unlocked door and fucks you, then leaves after he finishes. No strings attached (NSA), photos presented beforehand (pics), usually some time of safeguards in place. I was new, and it was my fault. This guy sent me pictures on whatever app I was using, think it was Craigslist. He told me all his information, I told him where I was staying and said I’d be blindfolded, ready for him to fuck me when he walked in. As SOON as he walked in, I heard the door close and lock and I had a feeling something was wrong. He came up behind me, naked and grabbed my neck chokingly and SHOVED into me. And this guy’s body was WAY bigger than what he said. He was chub/stocky and nothing like what he had sent me. I tried to tell him to stop, that I didn’t want HIM. But clearly, he had done this before. And this was before catfishing was a THING. So, he wasn’t going to stop no matter how much I struggled. So, I resulted that this was a part of the “fantasy” that I had signed up for. I could NOT call this rape. I will never call that rape. Yes, someone lied to me, wouldn’t stop when I said so, but I was totally in the wrong here. I put myself in a situation to be taken advantage of by a stranger. That is one of the things that makes this fantasy so hot. Just happens in my case, that it went terribly awry, So, I went limp and let him finish. He left. I locked the door and took down the posting I had made. My throat was on fire and he had pulled my hair too hard. But he was gone and I was alone again.

Another time in a hotel room, laying over in Washington, Dulles I was getting ready for bed. I was hungry, so put my iphone on the charger, grabbed my food and went for the microwave on another floor. When I came back, my phone was charged enough to check my facebook. As soon as I opened it up, on my timeline it says “PAUL IS IN A RELATIONSHIP”. I said, wait...what? My Paul? the one who I helped move? The one I got a xmas tree for? The one I held while crying? The one I protected from himself? The one whose bed I was JUST in? The guy I had been talking to like every day? My heart was beating out of my chest and I couldn’t breathe. Now, I’m not nor have I ever been naive. We weren’t a couple. He wan’t mine. But I wanted him, made it known. He said lots of things that didn’t add up to much. But, I was in his life, so I accepted that until he could give me more. But when I saw THAT status. I LOST it! Why? because he had told me WORD FOR WORD: “I don’t want a relationship right now. I have some little twink guy from this broadway show who likes me, but I’m not interested.” I always did status checks to make sure I didn’t get blindsided. But alas, here I was despite all my effors. My body went NUMB. Tears ran down my face. I dropped to my knees and asked God or whomever was in charge of things WHY the FUCK was it not me?? Am I not cute enough? Am I too poor? Not successful enough? What did I do? I immediately texted my friend Ant and told her what was up and that I was ready to end it. Before I knew it, I was on a 3 way call. What no one knows is, at one point I was bathroom, in the tub, with a razor, a full bottle of advil, a bottle of wine to hopefully make the blood run faster. I had never contemplated killing myself. This was a knee-jerk reaction to someone I loved with every fiber of my being choosing to give his love to someone else who didnt even have to try! If he could throw me away after I gave all I had and more that I didn’t even know I had in me, and he STILL didn’t want me, how is anyone else gonna love/choose me? So, I was ready to end it. Cuz I knew, this would not be the last time this would happen; guys don’t seem to care who they hurt or how. Paul texted me and said he didn’t owe me any explanation “dude”. But my friends talked me down from that ledge I was prepping to jump off. I also was terrified of doing it. I didn’t know if it would even work. And I didnt want my family to go through that. Till this day, that is why I could never commit suicide. I do think about it, yes. My life sucks. And try as I may, I don’t see a reason for me being here. And yes, I’ve been to many therapists ever since college. Its not a problem that can be talked out. I suffer from depression that can only be assuaged by fixing the problem; the problem is my life. (love, money, music). So, I just try to keep on. I’m not bi-polar; although, sometimes I wish I were. That is a diagnosis that can be managed with medication. My life, cannot be managed. But I’m trying...I am trying.

Now, as I mentioned before, not a big fan of coworker dating/fucking/etc. HOWEVER, there are 2 people I have always said I’d try if I had the chance. Because they may be reading this (doubt it, but I will fight my petty urges), We’ll just call them Trip and Kurt. Now, Trip and I have been messaging off and on doing this whole cat and mouse thing for years. He winds up telling me he’s interested but we couldn’t tell anyone at work; which I agreed to. And would have tried to keep his confidence, FOR HIM. He is really against work relations as well. This all started with grindr and just escalated to us talking off and on. Finally one day, he texts ME and asks “Hey sexy, you in NY?” I wasn’t. Was working. But I never post my whereabouts on FBOOK so, the question was warranted. He said he really wanted to fuck. Our paths kept not being able to cross. So, LONG story short, I rearranged my schedule and we set up a “date” at his place when I got back. I was working a redeye. Told him I’d get home, run my errands take a quick nap and be over to make a full day of it. Trip agrees with everything. I do exactly what I say (I’m a Leo, it’s what we do. We’re consistent. We’re straight forward). I pick up a bottle of $20+ wine to show him I really give a shit and to be courteous because a good southern boy doesn’t arrive at someone’s house empty handed. I knew he had been done wrong and I wanted to put my first foot forward, even if it was just sex he wanted. I message him when I was on the way back home...no response. Ok, I wanna shower. Text him again...tells me he’s out. I say, “ok well just tell me when to head over. I’ll be at home” He says “ok sounds good baby.” Ok, so I take my hour nap so I don’t miss his text. (For me, you KNOW that is no small feat!) I get up and he still hasn’t messaged me. So I wait...and wait...and wait for 5 hours. Then I text him “Ok...well, headed to bed I guess. Hope you had a good night. (he’s scheduled to work the next day so I KNOW no late fun was happening) But beforehand, my spidey senses were tingling. So, I got on facebook. OH, he’s out living his best life! Fuck MY time right? Awesome. I had a drink then went to sleep. Next day, he messages me that he fell asleep after getting home. BOO, so...you left your friends (after you went out...yeah, I saw the check-ins), hopped a train, got home, and never NOT ONCE thought to text me to tell me a damn thing?! But you say “sorry” and I’m supposed to just accept that? No. I wanted you past the point of that barrier I placed up barring all guys I worked with. You just took a big dump on that AND made me feel shitty in the process. I took that bottle of white wine to the head by myself at some point btw...

Now Kurt, he’s special...I met him and was immediately entranced. To keep this one shorter, he also told me HE DIDNT WANT TO DATE ANYONE. Guys need to stop telling these motha fuckin lies! Ok, so I’ll be your friend. But I really like him. So, I’m minding my own business and facebook again notifies me, Kurt is in a relationship. OH? with WHOM? Oh! someone we work with? Someone you met AFTER ME?! Interesting...now, when this boy confessed a secret to me, I was totally loving and told him my past experiences and that he’s and amazing person, etc. So, the next time we work together, I don’t mention his new BF. He brings it up and explains how and why he fell for him. WOULDNT YOU KNOW IT, the boyfriend said the same thing I did about his secret but just BEFORE he happened to conceal it. I tried so hard not to roll my eyes when he told me that. It was like a smack in the face. If you don’t think I’m cute, just say that. But don’t talk about how someone’s heart won you over. Cuz I was here loving on you before. I went back up to my room (tipsy) turned on some Aaliyah and cried myself to sleep. I am never gonna be enough for these boys/men. I saw that now. Paul had recently resurged and re-exited my life after telling me he loved me. I WAITED for that! He was the first man to ever say those words. And they were supposed to mean something! And shortly after...he ghosted me again. So, I’m feeling pretty worthless at this point.

No matter what I do, I’m never good enough. I keep trying to be the best me and there is always someone there saying, nah...this other dude is better. Swipe left. “Thank you, Next” (I don’t like Ariana Grande btw.) I have this fear that when I’m old, some guy I’ve loved forever will find me and say, I married someone else. He’s gone now, he did me wrong. We can be together now. Like I’m only going to be someone’s choice after their first choices have bit the dust. That is NOT okay with me.

So, here I am on Valentine’s day trying to explain to all of you who have someone to “come home to”. EVEN if you don’t like Vday, do not pretend that this day doesn’t matter or make people feel a certain way. I’m alone AND I’m lonely. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t feel this unless you tell me how to not feel that way; and your explanation better not involve friends. Sorry, friends have their own issues and while checking in and venting is great, they can’t be your life support. They can’t help you take care of your heart. Especially if they are married, have kids, etc. You’re the single 3rd wheel.

I tried to take myself to the movies. The movies I wanted were all sold out by couples. Dinner, tables full. So, I ate leftovers from yesterday’s dinner I cooked and am halfway through this bottle of wine. You cannot fault a person for wanting love. Finding it may have been somewhat easy/happenstance for you. And I try not to fault YOU for that. Everything has been hard for me. Literally, everything. That’s the only reason I’m still here. Because when something happens, I yell, scream, vent, handle it like Olivia Pope, then continue on. No one is there at night when i lay down. No one said Happy Valentine’s day to me today. No one is gonna smile at me when i wake up in the morning. Nope, I have to survive my morning after by myself. No pill in hand to help.

“Children needing other children, yet letting our grown-up pride hide all the need inside...acting more like children, than children.”

#valentines #love #unrequited love #dating #relationships #wine #sexy #fantasy #blog #broadway #feelings #mental health #survival

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xottzot · 7 years

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2017-11(NOV)-24th---Friday morning.

I got a small loaf of plain bread.

Had some of that with some cold, cheap, store-brand soup. A small tin. It's all I can afford.

I didnt eat all the soup and bread. I gave most of it to dear Sam & Max because they are huge dogs now and I need them to guard me day and night from the criminals that roam these streets day and night.

Sam had terrible nightmares this morning after we all went back to sleep again. Max also had terrible nightmares.

And I had terrible nightmares. I had dreamed that dear Fliss and I were out food shopping and had returned home. That was so very normal and was what we enjoyed and we would come home to find dear Sam & Max so happy to see us and greet us with wagging tails and barking. But in this nightmare I came home and found dear Fliss missing, poor dear Sam and Max missing, and there was worse. -- When I woke up in reality, I was VERY cold. Sam & Max were VERY cold. I didn't want to get up but I knew it was going to be a really stinking hot day and so poor Sam & Max needed let out for their ablutions and I also had to attend to mine which had become desperate. Poor Sam & dear Max were also desperate. They had next to no water left in their water bowl. - There is nobody to help, and attend to our poor deprived lives except me. And everytime they rush outside expecting to greet dear Fliss, she is not there. They go to the gate and look to see if she is out there.....but she is not. And so they become instantly dejected and surly at being abandoned to die just like has been done to me.

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The criminal aboriginals of the 2 utterly linked households (one across the road from each other), have been going back and forth all morning, and toddlers in diapers have been following them. One abo adult woman wielded a broom handle stick. The ONLY thing different is that they were escorting the toddlers in diapers walking across the road. (The sticks are used to whack the toddlers into submission like animals.) And normally they just allow the toddelrs to walk across ON the roads however they like at anytime they like.

Soon afterwards, a car from the main criminal household reversed out across the road and parked its rear upon the verge of the twinned criminal abo household (Fatguts place) and waited there, still half across on the road. It had a "P" plate stick-on sticker swabbed onto the inside of the windscreen. They do that even if they don't have a car license at all. It's used as an alias. And unlike as the law states, there was no plate on the rear of the car.

So many times they have been caught by Police and dealt with, not just abut that small thing, but about MAJOR things and criminal thigs, but they don't care. They even just dig up somebody else (they have endless 'relations'), to do the driving and use them in case they are caught by Police. It's always just a gamble and a game to them all.

An older woman (the overweight mother of some of the adult abo criminals? in the abo criminal ghetto), she came out and got into the car and it drove away.

Later in in the morning, the mother?, an adult abo male of the criminal household together with a woman were out once again and walking back from the Koongamia shops. He was aimlessly kicking hard a football to nobody and making it thump and crash upon the streets and bouncing into anyones property.

They returned, and he kept doing the same, and the mother? was carrying a big bag of ice from the Koongamia stores ice making vending machine. So I expect there's going to be yet abother raging boozed up/drugged up session soon going on...AGAIN. - Maybe just raging in under their carport...AGAIN. - Maybe there will be (as has happened countless times), ANOTHER violent incident and Western Australian Police will be called in to deal with it.....AGAIN.

Not long afterwards, the mother? came out and was waddling along the footpaths and was doing so with one of the abo toddlers. It was as always in diapers but this time was wearing a top. As they were going to round the street corner, they encountered one of the newest neighbours out in theor yard and doing a lot of yard cleaning up and so on, digging up weeds and grass. And doing what any normal person does.

In fact earlier still, before 8am, there was an innocent elderly couple slowly walking along the footpath and had casually stopped outside by the letterbox to look at, admire, and inspect a newly planted cactus plant there. This glimmer of normality and peacefulness at this hellhole area is just an illusion however and won't last. - It will be eclipsed by the criminal and the criminal aboriginals.

The fat abo waddling woman struck up a conversation with the innocent woman doing her gardening work, and the abo woman pointed behind at a stray cat walking about. They began 'chatting' and the innocent neighbour shrugged because it wasn't her cat.

It's actually one of the MANY stray cats, abandoned, and feral, and that roams abou any and everywhere and causes a Lot fo distres to all neighbours dogs and residents with the cats shitting & pissing everywhere in peoples yards and upsetting dogs at anytime of the day and night.....like the roaming criminal abo's do as well.

BTW, an abo male kid was walking back from the Koongamia shops yesterday (or the day before) and stopped just outside the newest neighbours yard, pulled out his dick, and defiantly pissed without any concerns at all in public. - This is what they are like. - It is NOT a 'one-off' and goes on a LOT and has been going on a LOT for YEARS at this hellhole.

They enticed the cat to them and began petting it (disease ridden though it might be), the toddler punced on it and tried to use it like a toy rag-doll, but they thought nothing of it. The toddlers are vicious and do anything they like and without consequence or reprimand or control. - The cat quickly ran off into the yard, it's tail flicking in agitation, and it began marking its scent all over the yard. The abo woman and the toddler walked on and away.

If you are asking yourself how would I know about that 'cat body language', it's because I grew up with VERY beloved and gentle cats here with my dear mother for MANY years. We had at one point 12 or so. Dear Mum and I kept them all in our yard under complete control and at night they were caged in a big birdcage we had purchased just for that reason. My dear mother and I loved cats VERY much and took great care of them. Unlike the shitheads about now who just let them roam day and night any and everywhere, killing all the birds and so on. Our cats never were allowed to do that. - I'm sorry but it was a completely different era of responsibility and thoughtfulness, all of which is gone now and nobody cares how bad everything has become. - I'm relieved my dear mother isn't alive and going through this hell here as I am. She never would deserve any of that. She was a VERY kind and gentle woman and would help ANYONE without question. And for that she was forever being exploited and had her life made terrible by others. - I've tried to tell dear Fliss about my mother but Fliss never made time to listen, but dear Fliss always said that she would have liked to have met her. My dear mother died not too long before I met Fliss when we became a loving couple and then dear Fliss came here because (as Fliss explained to me) Fliss dearly wanted to get VERY FAR AWAY from her own over-controlling family....she told me that. That is only part of it all, and I've previously explained MANY times the story of it all of dear Fliss and I. A story NOBODY cares about it. And they don't care about me. -- Not even dear Cath in Queensland who I dearly wish would talk with me. But dear Cath has swallowed so much lies from others and believes the lies above the truths. And she is suffering from all that. And worse. She won't accept anything I say to her. She will hoist all her blame upon me and falsley accuse me just as I am sure she has done with dear Fliss and I. - But I still want to communicate with dear Cath. She VERY much needs a good friend as do I. We were good friends. And she needs reassuring. As did dear Fliss when she was with me here in Western Australia, but dear Fliss was forever (NOT by me) exploited and attacked and demeaned...and all of THAT added to Fliss's terrible mental and physical woes that dear Fliss made sure NOBODY knew about. - Fliss was ashamed of herself to a degree that NOBODY knew about. And she was always looking for somebody else to blame as well, though she battled within herself doing that as well It all added to dear Fliss's mental breakdown.

I'm sorry, I'm going on about dear Fliss. And about dear Cath. (they were (are?)) very close friends, and I was a friend to Cath. I still are Caths dear friend but she has spurned my friendship, NEVER talks or communicates with me. And that has added greatly to my HELL. - As has being without dear Fliss who I love so dearly and truly of course, and which is the ultimate damned HELL neverending and soul destroying.

Cath has a life of luxury compared to myself here. And as does Fliss's life in Tamworth, New South Wales, Australia. Fliss promised to me (herself) it would be a new start in life for us and we would live together in happiness, and peace and love forever. A life we would share with others. And I myself had long promised her that we would help others (just as we had been doing all the time here in Western Australia).

But without my being with dear Fliss...nothing is nothing and there is nothing but the nothing.

Shit! - Fuck this.

I'm going to once more punish myself. That's what everyone wants.

And I'm going to make sure poor Sam & Max have something nice to eat.

And then I'm going to lay down, put the feeble barely-working airconditoner on and rest the pain I'm in as the outside of this hellhole heats up to become the hell that it is.

The criminals and shitheads have been roaming about. I want to be unconscous and forever dead if I can, but I know I will not be allowed to, and that in itself is utter hell.

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I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you.

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succorcreek · 7 years

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Narcissus the Killer? The myth of Narcissus is the story of I Me My Mine and NOT you becoming worse over time (Unedited version) clash of clans hack nowclash of clan hack clash of clan cheat hack The myth of Narcissus is one of the most known Greek Myths due to its uniqueness and moral tale; Narcissus was the son of River God Cephisus and nymph Lyriope. He was known for his beauty and he was loved by God Apollo due to his extraordinary physique. The myth of Narcissus comes in two different versions the Greek and the Greco-Roman version as both Conon the Greek and Ovid the Roman poet wrote the story of Narcissus enhancing it with different elements. Like to see more on Donald Trump Narcissism? Check in the alphabetical topic archive at the bottom of the page (it's the second giant list) for posts on: I Me MY Mine Greed Goals of the Psychopath Oligarch Oligarchy (Russian Greed) Theft Self focused and related "self" terms The Greek Version of the myth of Narcissus According to Conon Aminias a young man fell in love with Narcissus who had already spurned his male suitors. Aminias was also spurned by Narcissus who gave the unfortunate young man a sword. Aminias killed himself at Narcissus doorstep praying to the Gods to give Narcissus a lesson for all the pain he had provoked. Narcissus was once walking by a lake or river and decided to drink some water; he saw his reflection in the water and was surprised by the beauty he saw; he became entranced by the reflection of himself. He could not obtain the object of his desire though and he died at the banks of the river or lake from his sorrow. According to the myth Narcissus is still admiring himself in the Underworld looking at the waters of the Styx. The Roman Version of the Myth Ovid Mirror Mirror On The Wall Posts 3 of them you can page forward through them The myth presented by Ovid the poet is slightly altered. According to this myth Narcissus parents were worried because of the extraordinary beauty of the child and asked prophet Teiresias what to do regarding their sons future. Teiresias told them that the boy would grow old only if he didnt get to know himself. When Narcissus was sixteen he was walking in the woods and Nymph Echo saw him and felt madly in love with him. She started following him and Narcissus asked whos there feeling someone after him. Narcissus and Echo Echo responded whos there and that went on for some time until Echo decided to show herself. She tried to embrace the boy who stepped away from Echo telling her to leave him alone. Echo was left heartbroken and spent the rest of her life in glens; until nothing but an echo sound remained of her. Nemesis though the Goddess of Revenge heard the story and decided to punish Narcissus. From this point the stories are similar; Narcissus sees himself in the pond and he is amazed by the beauty of the reflection. Once he figured out that his love could not be addressed he killed himself. The myth of Narcissus in modern life and Art The myth of Narcissus is known also for one additional reason; the flower Narcissus that is found usually at the banks of rivers and lakes took its name after the mythical hero. It is a graceful flower featuring 40 different species mostly grown in Europe. It blooms in early spring and is considered fragile and very beautiful with white yellow and pink blossoms. The Myth of Narcissus has inspired several artists as well; the most known is Caravaggio who painted a young man admiring his reflection in the water. The painters Turner and Dali were also inspired by the myth while poets such as Keats and Housman used his example in many of their works. The Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky created several characters with the mentality and loneliness of Narcissus such as Yakov Petrovich Golyadkin. nice article thanks to and check out their other mythos:http://bit.ly/2ixNcUF In the Myths Narcissus didn't kill directly. He died before his Narcissism developed into a languid self-love that evolved from narcissism to psychopathy. In psychopathy the self love must scheme to get more and more of the self love and to strategize to get it dedicate one's life to get it and to use others to get it. If Narcissus had not died he would have become: a psychopath a taker thief a vampire a criminal a glib Machiavellian a gangster a drug lord an entitled mobster mafia There is an odd and indescribable hunger of the the pathological narcissist and dangerous psychopath the Dark Disorder. They are on a hunt at all times for their "food of self love": Dorian Grey seeks the eternal youth of his beautiful self while others are ignored. In some retellings he's likened to a vampire The movies Hannibal portrays a serial killer who is lost in the admiration of himself and his gory deeds with the image in the mirror loved being one of control cunning hunter and shock-doctor. Add to this any current world dictator serial killer psychopath the Las Vegas shooter that wanted to know there were security cameras filming his awful massacre and vampire movie (including the comedy ones) and any Marvel Movie where there is a megalomania killer or alien invasion! Hey it seems like Narcissus isn't really much danger to others so why even bring it up? The danger lies in what develops in the brain mind and personality over time. What is the danger in these stories both mythology and Grimm's fairy tales (Mirror Mirror on the Wall)? Is the warning just to Narcissus? No there is a full collapse of the kingdom: Donald Trump lives for attention and admiration and real governance is given only his spare time and the country suffers: Kim Jon-Un is on the camera blasting off another missile or presiding over a lavish show banquet or military parade. And for each bomb military parade costume or Kim's silk Mao suits paid for people go hungry.....they same is true for all other world dictators or drug lord In Russia where are the cameras always focused: on the cute face of Putin or a photo shoot of him trout fishing in the mountains with and without shirt on with and without horse mount. Some seem so innocent and innocuous but what is the danger of a Russian Oligarch stealing peoples incomes and allowing puppets to kill groups while the masses are marginalized and denied help and services? (see the tab above: Death and Genocide by Marginalization) I ME MY MINE and not you and btw: your money eventually will be my gold stores Psychopathic Leaders: 1. If a psychopath is looking in the mirror they're paying attention to the "object of their affection" themselves. They are not looking at other matters and details of life whether family or obligations. Consider the mirror as any of these persons truly looking in the mirror at themselves but also in the mirror or lens of admiration and notice by others: 2. If a psychopath then is looking at their object of their affection they build up in their mind that inflated value of themselves and the deflated value of otters. In that way others become servants to be used of lesser value getting the lot in life they deserve needing punished and in other cultures: deserving rape / torture or slavery. This is one of the reasons that over time psychopaths become worse and not nicer. Both the brain neural pathways and the mind/personality allow this self-infatuation and devaluation of others. Literally over time more of the brain's mental capacity and more of the personality is dedicated to self love conning deception and gack: More of the brain and mind / personality become dedicated to the devaluing of others! They can't be reasoned with helped to understand have a change of heart or "grow up". They instead become more narcissistic and debasing of others. They are more and more dangerous over time more criminal and more conning. Now if they appear nicer over time.....that comes from some skill in the art of the con and deception of others. In mythology and cinema young vampires are brash and inexperienced hunters of human souls and blood while older grey streak hair vampires of hundred of years know just how to appear to con. They are skilled and in movies which are a reflection of our human stories the skilled vampire is able to con village leaders and youthful beauties to their bloodbath via a refined red wine dinner in the dank vampire's castle. The stories tell remind us: Takers Take Vampires hunt and drain leaving empty husk humans behind and psychopaths do not change but become worse over time: Skilled and better at the con but now amazing more $$$$ The Brain dedicates more memory space problem solving and thought time as well as those connecting "neural pathways" becoming supercharged in narcissism. If there was any danger from a vampire a cruel dictator or a psychopath or 60% of persons in prison which is the amount of those there that are psychopathic I like to follow this rule which came about just through observation in 35 years of clinical work with this type: 1. The become 5% worse at who they are and what they do each year. 2. this is occurring in their brain neural pathways and mind / personality What are the exceptions to this??? There are some but really it's a matter of diagnosis errors. A. each psychopath has childhood traits that are clues to the danger. As children they might or might not be dangerous to others and animals yet. But they may torture animals be a bully at age 5 do cruel things to siblings or parents. As a clinician I've always been aware and found the childhood traits because I knew what to look for. Most other times especially in psychiatry no time is given to a full childhood psychological investigation or the gathering of reports from not just parents (who may give a false and glowing good report of "Billy") but siblings and of early grade school records and reports. For more on this see the Books Evil Clowns and Las Vegas / Sandy Hook Shooters by Dr. Bunch. I've had many experiences in the clinical office and in personal life with children acting on their psychopathy or having the clues they'll become psychopaths: A few years ago a distant relative had a Holiday dinner I attended. Their 6 year old came up to me and with a smile cunningly said "If you look at my mother I'll kill you". Througout the event glares and reminders were sent as if from Hannibal Lecter or Chucky (both movie psychopathic killers). I tried to see if the child was playing was told to say so by siblings or mimicking some character. My feelings though told the truth: I'm a person who walks without fear in danger zones in Mexico City and Rio de Janeiro but this was one of the few times I could recall being drawn into a terrifying scenario. And the event wasn't something I'd projected onto little Hannibal because I've only recent years studied child psychopathy and some related horror films. But it did bring up feelings I found in the docudrama true movie of Donald Trump's mentor: Roy Cohn. The movie and many posts are on the site archive under Cohn Roy Cohn and movies. I determined that this kid was the smart type that could put some poison in your soup like Chucky movies. How do they gain this particular knowledge? We're all drawn to our own brilliances and interests. Some kids are drawn to their love of sciences dolls toys guns anime cartoons heroes sports relaxation reading or imagination. Psychopaths are drawn to the brilliance of their Vampire Taking and other areas of their lives suffer because of it which also happens to all of us: Susie spends time imagining stories and ignores her father and mother that could model some living skills. She might be taken advantage of by others later in life without those skills. Little Lecters spend time developing bully skills developing theft strategies developing con and coverup methods while other parts of their life may be neglected. For many like Roy Cohn psychopath they are socially skilled and street wise but he in his law or government roles was very shallow. He had little knowledge or need for history which would have changed his cruel government actions he took with McCarthy against gays actors and blacks all groups as "Commies". Little Lectors have no or limited knowledge of the greater world languages cultures peoples nature or hobbies. Their mind is FOCUSED on the psychopathy matters while these fall to the wayside: They're not likely to be involved seriously in: Scouting ongoing community service palling around with a younger sibling developing hobbies: Legos or rocks having "humble jobs" as a youth such as delivering door flyers (in my time it was delivering newspapers) being a school peer counselor being in a spelling bee or science competition having a disabled friend having multi racial friends (a white boy hangs out only with other white boys a Hispanic boy only hangs out with other Hispanic boys) low interest in reading books not in the public library and so on. So back to the exceptions: 2. PTSD: returning war veterans go on a rampage shooting kill girlfriends or become repeat felony criminals in other ways. Is this an exception. Do psychopathic killings occur when the person is not a psychopath? Does the disorder just kick in when a veteran with PTSD returns and kills 5 persons in a bar at age 28 or 20 years later at age 48? These events are related to persons wth PTSD but the underlying cause is missed: 40% of War Veterans have PTSD Possibly 20% of Americans have PTSD from assault trauma childhood bullying War Veteran witness trauma medical crisis trauma etc. at least 95% of all those with PTSD of all types are not psychopaths and do not commit mass shootings murders or felony crimes Those shooters then have psychopathy and PTSD both. But the cause of the shootings is associated with the rage superiority and must punish issues of the psychopathy (see more in the book Las Vegas / Sandy Hook) This is the case where we're saying the person was fully "typical" and not a narcissist or psychopath as a child or teenager. Now when does a psychopathic pattern not equal psychopathy? There are rare if actually not any cases. Earlier from about year 2000 to 2010 returning war veterans that were involved with single or mass shootings were finally recognized as having gone off the deep end the war trauma being the major trigger. At that time they were given the benefit of having a diagnosis of PTSD. Now we know that 40% of all war veterans whether they saw combat or not have PTSD Post Trauma Stress Disorder. This is a disorder seen both in brain scans and in one's psychology. Later investigations after 2010 have revealed though that those who's childhood history could be investigated showed: bullying of siblings parents school mates teachers not following rules rage torture of animals including dismembering birds destruction of childhood and teen minor or major crimes a pattern of childhood psychopathy: oppositional defiant disorder self interest lack of sympathy and bias: there are those that are lesser and deserve punished bullied money taken away from at school made fun of called sissy's cut with knives or other minor or major torture grandiosity grandiose plans Bill was a 12 year old patient who took my waiting room wall clock that was broken down. With a knife which was not to have on him he set about disassembling the clock. His mother said he does that where he does think he can fix things and is "very mechanically inclined" as he says but everything ends up in a pile of metal cogs and broken parts. He was grandiose in what he thought he could do but not one step of the repair was undertaken. It didn't matter that he had a giant inventory of disassembled items because he never considered it a failure moving on quickly to another subject. Some psychopaths like Donald Trump Duterte of the Phillipines and El-Esis of Egypt have this inkling: they are good at unraveling and disassembling things but not at putting things together combining them or synthesizing new ideas. In fact Donald Trump's campaign promise was to unravel so many aspects of wieldy government which he had set about doing the first 9 months of office. But now he's unravelled the rope so much it can't be rewound. It seems many psychopathic leaders hope to get other experts on their staff to to the rebuilding of something "new" or just put it back together again. Putin seems mentally organized enough to get those persons to do his work. But Donald Trump Roy Cohn and Duterte are too mentally disorganized to accomplish this and that is their Waterloo. Trump is distracted throughout the day with an Attention Deficit Disorder from the matters of State to: TweetStorms Tweet Baiting vulnerable people Political Conflict with colleagues Promoting Properties and golfing Competing with Putin and other Dictators: my gold is more than yours Being seen and admiring Planning pre-emptive and counter attacks (today Donald Trump said after Senator Bob Corker announced Trump is only divisive for our country: "Bob Corker is the most divisive person..... ......And now I'm rebuilding this Country So Well". (see what this method of attack lie is in the book Skyscrapers of Lies and Deceit) See articles in the Topic Cloud Archive: Unravel Disassemble Decompile Psychopaths Pirates Vampires and more: Run flee tell others! 300 topics on this listed below in the Cloud Archive: Click Here: Catalog of 100 Books Kindle Hypnosis Binaural Subliminal CDs death by marginalization mirror mirror on the wall narcissus self focus trump self absorbed #trumpbully #stopbully #trumpmentalhealth http://bit.ly/2rZ1vSp

Narcissus the Killer

#narcissist abuse #psychopath abuse #trump bully #abuse recovery #ptsd #ptsd recovery #ptsd hypnosis

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captaindarksword · 1 year

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it doesnt really matter if it was planned from the start or not

it doesnt change the fact that it wasnt until the v6 finale with adams line that rthey actually hinted at the ship. after giving blacksun so much teasing mutual attraction, development and romantic tropes during which the b/ake and y/ng ship didnt get anything that actually teased it as romantic

at that point even if they did plan for it to be canon at the start the best writing move would be to change the plan

serious if it was planned at the start why give blacksun so much teasing mutual attraction and development why have them fullfill so many romantic tropes from start to finish etc

while blake and yang didnt really get anything till the v6 finale with adams line

everything in v1-v3 was platonic you have to wear shipping goggles to see anything more

burning the candle scene was just yang helping blake ( yang being the one to help blake instead of sun isnt evidence for b/ake and yang ship

yang is blakes friend and partner on the team it makes sense that they would interact people complained about blake and ruby not interacting that much for a reason. its funny that they will make this argument when

sun was there for blake alot more then yang in rwby v1-5 its irrelevant that technically yang in v1-3 spent more time with blake offscreen when we get a lot of onscreen moments with blake and sun that are romantic

)

while also serving as a way to see her backstory.

there wasnt anything romantic coded or flirty about it

yang winking at blake doesnt make it romantic

also there wasnt any special reaction to yang winking at blake by either blake or music reacting to it

and friends can dance with each other

n dance afterwards blake chose to head to sun at burning the candle

and accept the invitation that sun gave out she didnt need to do that

at the dance blake and yang dance gave them a bit of a distance between blake and yang dance

then they broke off so blacksun dance can begin neither of them having issues with it

also the blacksun dance was in the same panel as arkos and renora dance, I have to bring it up because I often see people try t ogo well blake and yang are partners pyrrha got with her partner etc

blake comparing yang to adam wasnt really evidence for the ship

the situation was that it looked like yang assaulted mercury which triggered her due to adam. adam used to be different but changed which is why she brought up adamn and it served as a means to allow us to learn more about adam.

adam being her ex is incidental

after yang lost her arm blake just up and left her with no warning not even a note

of course yang who has abandonment issues would be triggered/effected by that she didnt sound like a spurned lover

weiss had no choice in leaving, and ruby gave yang a notice.

(the well argument that it has parallels to what happened to tai and raven is a bad argument since besides the fact that tai and raven never got back together and were in a relationship at the time. unlike blake and yang.

you shouldnt rely on parallels for a ship because you could end up seeing evidence where there is none. You notice some similarities between what happened but ignore the differences or context of those scenes

like imagine two character hugging and that hug getting special portrayal and a music swell etc

then turn two characters hugging without the special context and claim you have to view it the same way

blake held weiss’s hand in the jacques confrontation like she held yangs hand for example. ( if it werent for adams line in v6 finale I would say there was nothing inherently romantic in blake and yangs moments together

Basically lots of people could make the argument that there are parallels without their ship coming true.

They looked more into the similarities then they were supposed to

I have seen multiple times where people thought a ship would happen where there argument relies on parallels they try to make.

blacksun had gotten years of teasing mutual attraction and development from v1-5 they fullfilled countless romantic trpes while the other ship didnt get anything

at that point even if its true they planned it at the start they should have changed the plan. They should have looked back and seen how they didnt really give anything to the other blake ship and how much they gave to blacksun that they changed the original plan because if you have a plan at the start as you write the story you might end up having to revise the original plan/endgame due to what you ended up writing in the meantime

. Though RT is far from the only writers to fall into this problem: swerving right instead of left, only to try and claim that the characters still arrived at the destination to the left. I haven’t watched it for myself, but we’ve all heard about the disastrous How I Met Your Mother finale. From what I understand, the writers had an ending in mind, stuck to it… but in doing so ignored all the growth that occurred across the series, events and ideas they could have never foreseen when they first came up with that ending. It was an ending that no longer fit the story. If your theory holds true, anon, then RT is running into the same problem. They’ve got ideas for stuff far in the future - Yang will save Ruby from an attack in Volume 8 - but never bother to revise that material based on what they’ve written in between then and now.

I dont really care about the genders involved ( and there is no doubt the people who demand we accept or be okay with b/b would have a change of tune if sun or yangs genders were swapped.

or heck imagine if blacksun did become canon ( lets say the v6 ffinale moment remained but the v7 onwards teasing didnt happen and blacksun had become canon)

they would get pissed and no the fact b/b was a same sex ship is irrelevant lgbt rep is not a shield from criticism or platform to why a ship should become canon just because its rep

saying this isnt in anyway homophobic

its a story people are allowed to care more about if there was proper good writiing rather then a canon mc same sex ship.

so even if bb was planned from the start and arryn liked it they should have seen the stuff they gave blacksun and went with it

"Killing the baby" is a notion that refers to the fact that an author should be able to scrap and discard notions that they really likes or plot-points that they believe are cool in favor to having a cohesive and balanced narrative. Or, in other words: never fall in love with an idea so much that your story has to adapt around that idea instead of the idea around the story.

like "its all the misogyny when it comes down to it. Same reason a lot of the fans will see f/f relationships as “forced” because there was a boy in the picture for a bit" ( a reference to rwby fandom obviously talking about bb and sun

first of all 5 volumes of buildup isnt a bit

it doesnt matter that in v1-3 yang likely spent months with blake since its all offscreen blacksun had gotten the on screen focus and actual romantic hints which anyone could see

imagine if the genders were flipped and a female character who happens to be a side character got years of buildup with a female main character ( and the focus was on their relationship

but after years of buildup when she gets put on a bus with a promise of coming back the female main character is then paired with a male main character who was her team partner who she justgot reunited with. and pushed heavily to him.

would they accept the argument that the guy and girl spent lots of time together offscreen as part of the team before the girl got separated from him.

no they would point out all the onscreen buildup for the f/f ship while the m/f ship didnt get anything romantic.

if you would react that way to the hypothetical gender flip above you should apply that belief to when it means the ship that becomes canon is a same sex ship.

it doesnt matter if its lgbt representation that doesnt make it exempt from criticism or mean it deserves to automatically become canon just due to popularity

if its badly written it shouldnt happen

it doesnt matter that it would mean that there is no same sex ship in team rwby.

it doesnt matter if it was planned from the start or not in the end they gave blacksun years of buildup not bb which got nothing, so blacksun should have happened.

(it doesnt matter that sun isnt a main character you dont need to be a main character to get with a mc )

Also yang and blake being both connected to adam with people suspecting that adam will fight them both is not evidence for bb.

I am going to be honest its annoying how if there is a ship war between a same sex ship and a het ship and the het ship becomes canon the people who ship the same sex ship get to attack it all they want but

if the same sex ship becomes canon those same people will claim its exempt from being criticized or saying its forced just because there are more shows where het ships become canon but there arent that many examples of shows with same sex ships.

sorry but that is irrelevant and its funny how many times they will try to claim that if you criticize bb or attack bb ship and say its forced its just due to the genders involved as if no one who is part of the lgbt community would ship the het ship over the same sex ship.

they will go there are tons of shows which have het ships as if the reason why people shipped blacksun over bb must be due to the genders involved. I recall hearing about freezerburn shippers attacked by bb shippers if its just about rep then they should be fine with freezerburn instead of bb.

The attack is frankly insulting and projection since they shipped their ships due to genders involved bb being a same sex ship and repeatedly trying to cite bb being a f/f ship in arguments and trying to attack the character of atheir opponents or try to pull bs guilt trips.

I recall one person complaining about them teasing a het ship instead of a same sex ship that they wanted and citing the genders involved and complaining about them teasing het ships instead of the same sex ships they felt would be believable.

it makes the claims that anti bb shippers are calling bb forced based on genders involved projection.

shipping isnt advocacy being a lgbt advocate etc doesnt mean that you have to ship the same sex ship

popularity doesnt = actual evidence see zutara

I have seen people try to argue that team jnpr getting with their partners means the same needs to happen to team rwby when no it doesnt

the whole argument that it would be heteronormative because team jnpr is a m/f team and rwby is all female team is a dumb argument

the fact that jnpr got hinted to each other doesnt mean the same has to happen to team rwby

just like it would be if vice versa.

( ren and nora having some similarities to blake and yang doesnt mean renora happening means hat blake and yang had to get together

renora moments isnt evidence for bb.

I have seen bb shippers piggyback off of renora multiple times for example

1. with the v6 where blake made her protecting eachother scene ( blake held yangs hand because it was shaking it was too comfort her), and arguing that since that renora getting a similar scene where nora went we protect eachother and then ren and nora held each others hands means that bb has to get together or its romantic moment for bb.

That moment for renora wasn't in anyway romantic either even in context renora being a ship that was flagrant from the start doesnt mean that if one ship gets a moment similar to their scene its automatically romantic.

2. or the plane scene argument where they ignore the differences in how the characters acted and made the argument that there being similar shots in some places that means that if you saw renora scene as romantic you have to see the blake and yang moment on the plane as romantic. That isnt the case renora was a private scene and did the lay head on shoulders thing with the song about noras love playing it being completely focused on them , while it was more of a team rwby scene where yang comforted blake and so did ruby.

ren and blake having similarities

and nora and yang having similarities doesnt mean renora happening means b/b has to happen

heck it could be said ren and nora are foils to blake and yang which would add to an anti b/b argument

knightofbalance-13 . tumblr . com/post/159356555745/httpsinternetcowardtumblrcompost159345009048

You’re right, they are great foils. Both consist of an inexperienced leader, a stotic agile fighter, a brute force user and a famous person.

However, Ruby is in experienced due to her age, she got into beacon through very suspect but legal means , is a special kind of warrior and constantly goes through the story internalizing her pain for the most part and indirectly inspires people where as Jaune is inexperienced because he hasn’t trained to be a huntsman, got into beacon by mundane but illegal means, is a normal character, goes through the show vocalizing his pain and directly tries to inspire people.

While Blake is not actually stotic, her problems are self inflicted due to her inability to control her emotions but allows her to be more flexible, comes from a whole and wealthy family, fights for a very broad cause and looks the stealthy part, Ren is an actual stotic, avoids problems because of his silence but is incapable of being flexible with them, comes from a dead family, fights for very personal reasons and should stick out like a sore thumb.

While Yang’s brute force is treated as animalistic and as a weakness, she has a lot of personal baggage that drags her down, is very involved with her family, knows the stotic of her team for only a year and has a somewhat happy past with a tragic present, Nora’s brute force is treated as a true strength, does not let her personal baggage hold her down, does not mention a family and probably does not have one, knew the stoic of her team for about a decade and has a tragic past with a somewhat happy present.

Unlike Weiss who prides in her fame and wants to preserve it, is outwardly selfish and self centered but grows more selfless as time goes on, treats peole vastly different based on who they are, a terrible family and a platonic relationship with her leader, Pyrrha hates her fame and it isolates her from everyone, is outwardly very selfless and humble but comes to desire things for herself latter on, treats everyone equally, has a good family and has romantic feelings for her leader.

#anti bb

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viralhottopics · 8 years

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Yes, Donald Trump is free to dismiss the press. But that spells trouble | Suzanne Nossel

The president-elects shutdown of a CNN journalist calls to mind the way tyrants around the world treat the media. Its a profoundly alarming signal

Trumps first press conference since July made plenty of news. He acknowledged Russias role in the Democratic National Committee hack for the first time, elaborately sidestepped traditional conflict-of-interest rules and announced a new cabinet nomination. Yet the most shocking moments came not with policy pronouncements, but in his handling of the assembled media itself.

His pointed, public attacks on journalists during the press conference were a tactic ripped from the playbook of authoritarian regimes around the world. Their goal is to discredit the media and undermine journalists ability to play their crucial role in holding government accountable.

The conference began with Trump press secretary-designate Sean Spicer deriding as outrageous and highly irresponsible Buzzfeeds decision to publish an uncorroborated dossier alleging, among other things, Russian interference involving the president-elect and top campaign aides.

Spicer also impugned as pathetic and sad CNN, which declined to publish the dossier but ran a more general story indicating that US intelligence agencies had conveyed to Trump and to President Barack Obama reports of the Russian government holding compromising information about Trump.

Trump and his team were well within their rights to vociferously and even angrily rebut unverified reports that were highly damaging to the president-elect. But they didnt stop there. Once Trump took the podium, CNN reporter Jim Acosta made persistent attempts to ask a question, calling out that having been attacked by name, the network ought to have the right to pose a query.

Trump spurned Acosta menacingly, saying not you, your organization is terrible, and you are fake news. He referred to Buzzfeed as a failing pile of garbage. Acosta reports that he was then told by Spicer that if he tried again to ask a question he would be thrown out of the press conference.

This was hardly Trumps first offensive against a journalist. On the campaign trail, Univision anchor Jorge Ramos was ejected from a Trump news conference. And the candidates well-publicized feud with then-Fox anchor Megyn Kelly helped launch her into superstardom.

But as Trump morphs from candidate to commander-in-chief, his attacks on the press take on a far more dangerous and far-reaching power. The specter of a president attacking journalists who ask nettlesome questions or expose corruption is nothing new. It happens all over the world in authoritarian countries where leaders brook no dissent. Journalists who dont toe the line are derided as incompetent, politically-motivated or seditious.

Rather than conclusively rebutting unwelcome reporting, these leaders undermine the source. Aimed to intimidate and silence, these tactics can be highly effective, training the press to comply with a set of implicit rules that, after a while, no longer need active enforcement.

In the most tyrannical countries, including Iran, Cuba and Russia, only a handful of journalists are in jail because most others have simply stopped writing stories that could risk their lives and freedom. Turkeys Tayyip Recep Erdogan is currently the worlds biggest jailer of journalists, whom he has branded agents of subversion, foreign spies, and terrorists.

Vietnams prime minister has dismissed revelations of party corruption as despicable stratagems by hostile forces and pursued a policy of aggressive prosecutions of journalists and bloggers. Iranian supreme leader Ali Khamenei has described the countrys reform-oriented press as a base of operations by foreign enemies inside our country.

While American presidents going back to Theodore Roosevelt have mostly made a point of wooing the media, the one exception is, unsurprisingly, Richard Nixon. When LA Times reporter Stuart Loory wrote about how much the presidents vacation home had cost taxpayers, Nixon had his staff bar him from the White House. In 1969, Vice President Agnew derided the media writ large as impudent snobs.

Trumps return to Nixonian tactics of media send an alarming signal as we prepare to inaugurate an administration that has already signalled its contempt for ethics scrutiny and conflict of interest norms and disregard for the work of our intelligence agencies.

Theres no law that says the president must take questions from the press. Its just a long-held practice. If Trump opts to draw the curtains, offering selective peeks only to designated sycophants, he could well establish a new normal that might govern for years to come, not just in the White House, but also the Congress, the State Houses and the corporate boardrooms.

Thomas Jefferson who once remarked Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate for a moment to prefer the latter.

Trump might well answer that question differently. It is up to the press and to the American public to ensure that this is a choice he never gets to make.